World Cup 87 - RP Thread

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

Five points behind, BP have work left to do.
by Oliver Stanley
The Post Chief Soccer Correspondent


After the opening pair of return matches, the Commonwealth National Team find themselves in a hole that's not unfamiliar, but will see a serious change in the approach taken for the remaining seven qualifiers.

Held to a single goal at the VdarArena, the strategy of split squads is likely to have seen its last usage for this campaign. At issue is the consistency of play inherent in mixing & matching players; although there is a strong veteran core in this NT pool, the teething problems encountered by trying to assimilate the AOCAF mainstays with the returning regular starters have been tougher to smooth out than in previous cycles.

The problems have been particularly evident in the defense, where the retirements of Derick Briggs and Terrance Stephens have left a large gap in experience. Breakdowns in communications among the back line have left BP keepers exposed in ways they haven't faced on a regular basis; other adjustments will be needed to compensate for the poor transition to defense when the ball is lost in midfield.

Some of the problems might be less troublesome if the forwards could generate more pressure in the attacking third. The numbers bear out this lack of forced errors from the opposing defenders--an eight percent increase in possession in their own third for opponents has cut scoring opportunities by 1/3 for the Bees.

[Omerica]

(Inspired by #from-the-forge chatter on the Discord…)

Édition anglienne — Anglian edition

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Questions to the Editor: Omerican presidential elections
Why Omerican presidents can never seek re-election and why lawmakers are headed to Charlescourt

Presidential elections appear to be all the rage as of late, what with Huelavia having recently completed one. The United Republics of Omerica also due for one, with incumbent President Christina van der Hout approaching the end of her seven-year term in office. She will soon have to call Omerican lawmakers into a Congress to find her successor, who by tradition must be from Gallophone Omerica. But you had some questions about why van der Hout cannot seek re-election and why Omerican lawmakers are not simply meeting in the capital.

Why are presidents banned from ever being re-elected in Omerica? — Sara Chevalier from Arcadie-des-Mers, Altomare
Once elected, the President of the United Republics gets a rather long term in office: they have seven years as Omerica’s head of state. On the other hand, once someone assumes the office, they can never again seek election to it. It’s not a rule that a lot of republics have and those republics that do have a one-term-per-lifetime rule tend to invest a lot power in their presidents, which is most certainly not the case in Omerica.

The popular belief is that the one-term limit was established in deference to superstition: Omerican monarchs tended to have their annus horribilis in the eighth year of their reigns and two of Omerica’s three Revolutionary Wars—the War of the Omerican Succession and the Omerican Civil War—were sparked by the death of a monarch in their eighth year on the throne. As such, seven years is thus held to be the maximum length of time that an Omerican head of state can hold their post without major disaster and the one term lifetime limit ensures that no Omerican president will ever have an eighth year in office.

However, the more practical reason and the one given by Michel Valérian, one of the Fathers of the Constitution, is that the single-term limit would free presidents from the pressures of partisan politics and allow them to make necessary, but unpopular decisions without fear of electoral backlash. The strict letter of the Instrument of Government makes the presidency a very powerful position and back in the days when presidents were real independent actors in Omerican politics, the term limit acted as one of the few limitations on that power. But the power of the presidency has been effectively effaced, yet the ban on re-election still remains part of the Omerican federal constitution.

Why are presidential elections held in Charlescourt? Wouldn’t it be easier to hold them in Port-des-Saints — Alex Profeta from Port-Saint-Denis, Romainbourg
In theory, yes, it would be simpler to hold presidential elections in Port-des-Saints. If you fitted more seats in the Commons chamber, it would be child’s play for federal lawmakers to just hold the election in the federal capital. Unfortunately, the chamber can only hold so many chairs and those chairs can only hold so many butts. Plenipotentiaries would not want to be standing around for hours with nowhere to sit while voting and ballot counts are happening, especially if the election extends to multiple ballots.

Consequently, Congresses are always held at the Palais des Rois in Charlescourt, a city which was founded to serve as the seat for the court of King Charles I of the Omerike. The Palais was ultimately built after his reign, but subsequently served as the residence for Omerican monarchs and viceroys up until the monarchy was abolished after the Omerican Civil War. The legislature subsequently appropriated the palace and converted one of the halls into a meeting place where they could meet in Congress, such as for presidential elections and the President’s annual Policy Address (which is the Omerican equivalent to a “speech from the throne” that some monarchies have).

In short, the reason why the election is held in Charlescourt is that leaving the Palace of the Federation for a different city emphasises the great solemnity of the occasion. That an old palace where kings and governors-general made their homes is a strangely fitting place to choose a head of state also helps.

If you have a question for our, please feel free to send it to us through our contact form and we may answer it in a future edition of La Romainbourgeoise.
— Jean-Jacques Sainte-Marguerite reporting from Romainbourg

United Republican Soccer Federation
6 Jacques la Rouge Road
Port Alexandre, MS 18-A40
UNITED REPUBLICS OF OMERICA

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Starblaydia v Omerica
World Cup 87 qualification — Matchday Twelve
Stadii Di Bradini, Jhanna, Starblaydia
— and —
Omerica v Transvolcanic
World Cup 87 qualification — Matchday Thirteen
Stade Saint-André, Brétolles, Westavon
Omerica lineup (4–3–3): Valentine Augustin; Alphonse Notley, Charity Kayode, Justin Thyme, Sacha Sepulveda; Red Bolton (captain), Soraya Archambault, Thom Magalhaes; Jessie Beckett, Alexis Chrysanthos, Jamal Ahmad
Substitutes: Antoine Vicario, Alexandra McGuire; Anna Charles, Darcy Francis, Raphaël Martin, Lauren Kerry; Maxime Fournier, Paige Boyce, Nadiya al-Hashim; Maïa Bustos, Jean-François Fernand, Wesley Sawyer

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[Bluecliff]

Previously in the rough-and-tumble but mostly irrelevant world of internal party politics in Īlasatasēva...

Government of The Procterate of Īlasatasēva ꞏ Office of the People's List

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact: peopleslist@ilasataseva.bcl

The following article is published by the listed party through the relevant government channels and intended for wire use. The press release it is based on may be obtained by contacting the press contact listed above.

People's List Candidates Trade Jabs Ahead of Leadership Debate
Campaign to choose opposition leadership heats up ahead of election, first in union

ĪLASATASĒVA, Ilasataseva: Normally, in the leadup to the Bluecliff Championship, there is no time for politics. No matter the historic stature of the first elections since the incorporation of the Bluecliff League, or the ferocity of the campaign - as we prepare for the Bluecliff Championship, sport is apolitical for as long as that can be tenable (generally about three weeks).

In Īlasatasēva, this time around, however, politics and sport have become inexorably linked. The culprit? Former Bluecliff National Team man, Īlasatasēva national team man, countless club man, and perennial second-page headline-dweller Tīnisivitolīno Vīlalatonosatānatino.

Mr. Vīlalatono's announcement months ago that he would be leaving the footballing world behind came in the middle of the Baptism of Fire, a local football tournament being held in the White Winter Queendom of Græntfjall. Mr. Vīlalatono's abandonment of the team in the freezing cold has provided excellent fodder for his opponent in the leadership race, Mrs. Anatōni'alurutese Fonosetalopese. She has also hit him on his political experience and on the open secret among Bluecliffian football-adjacent circles that Mr. Vīlalatono cannot play the game of football.

Despite Mrs. Fonoseta and her supporters' insistences, though, Mr. Vīlalatono is doubling down on both his behavior in the Baptism of Fire and, more generally, on his answers to questions of his footballing ability. Asked last week about his decision to leave the team to begin a career in local politics, he said in part

Look, when I was present for the tournament we won every game, and when I was gone we lost the final. I can't elaborate any more than that. Giving you any more information than that would destroy my point and maybe my credibility.

The strategy spurred quite a bit of incredulity among high-level insiders and voters alike. The winner of the leadership election will, of course, be leading the People's List into the first general election since the fourteen free cities of the Bluecliff League united into the Fourteen Free Cities of the Bluecliff League. One high-level official in the People's List party who asked to remain anonymous to describe internal conversations said that within the party establishment, the general attitude is one of apprehension at Mr. Vīlalatono's competence and ability to perform even the most basic of political functions.

While the previous collective leadership of the party failed drastically, worries among party membership that Vīlalatono's tenure would signal drastic departures from the Liberal-Conservative, generally moderate principles of the People's List have increased in recent days. Mrs. Fonoseta has even taken the drastic step of attempting to learn from past mistakes, speaking last week as she did with others experienced with outsider, populist candidates.

The difficulty in preparing to debate with Mr. Vīlalatono - according to three people familiar with Mrs. Fonseta's preparations, is that, in a departure from the general playbook of populist outsiders across the multiverse, Mr. Vīlalatono does not seem to have any sort of ambition or goal apart from a general idea (shared by many) that he should not be a footballer.

While a lack of knowledge in the general goings-on of government or the requirements of campaigning is to be expected and is indeed present, Mr. Vīlalatono's incompetence transcends this matter. Even some on his team concede that the goal is not to lead the People's List to electoral victory in targeted electoral districts so as to regain a governing majority so much as it is to be vaguely present.

One group that will certainly be tuning into the first debate before party members head to the polls is the Īlasatasēvan City Team for the Bluecliff Championship. While the manager, Mr. I'ōnatasafapi'ano Selafīmīfelela, is planning on not having to shove the hapless "defender" into his tactics, the entire team is well aware of the potential for last second antics, especially those that actively cause harm to the squad.

Mr. Selafīmī agreed immediately to go on the record for this report, saying

It's a difficult, difficult situation. On the one hand, obviously, we want him to do well because the further away he is from a football pitch the better our chances for exhibiting the bare minimum of competence during the Bluecliff Championship are.

On the other hand, on a much more existential level, it's hard, you know. I have a lot of players who would much rather he tear apart the Īlasatasēvan defense than the Īlasatasēvan country. He barely understands the historical facts he's peddling, maybe even less than the basic necessities of defending.

The debate between the two candidates will be held Thursday at 8pm.

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Makara Keho has no clue. About any of this.

[Independent Athletes from Quebec]

OOC : Around two weeks have passed since Asher got locked out of Eileen's flat. Oy vey.

I Run To You

PART 6 (46) - Wrong Number-II

Blistering! Taenneris Ethanobarbus!

Asher contemplated as he wondered on his very next move. He got locked out of his house again, with his mind unintendedly blurting out the latest thing he had learned- the news of a lethal stomach bug that had come out of a lab at Farrer University early this morning- and now he had to wait and see if somebody will come out of his flat building. Once again inebriated and intoxicated with yet another day’s material indulgences, Asher swung back and forth along the sidewalk.

The Capitolien streets, unlike the labyrinthic pathways the Montrealais were exposed to long ago, were much more straightforward. The stars shone above him as his movements swayed like that of a ballerina in Swan Lake, and how beautiful yet pitiful the sight is! But then, dear reader, don’t be surprised by the very sight of it all, for this is reflected in its inhabitants as well. Those who live in the fabled Quartier Calanien usually were one of the two cases; they either grew up in the City of Eternal Lights that they had long accustomed themselves to smell the cigarette smoke or avoid the beret unless to parody themselves, or they came from somewhere far and provincial, to be immersed to the corridors, the arcades and the limestone blocks, and of course, to drink affordable cocktails and do proper wine and cheese.

Being a Capitolien at birth (though not of growth), he belonged himself to the latter category. Unfortunately, the years of degenerative conditions brought by years of his trauma had done the very opposite of what those ‘wine and cheese’ were supposed to do on his health, and now all we- the readers- could hear, were his indiscernibles grunts and chants.

‘Hey, can somebody sing a song about the trapped bastard, who also doubles up as a night's husband!’ he shouted to the air at the fiddler from some distance, whose songs were anticlimactic to the state of his mind (OOC note: this is a reference to certain scene on Episode 5, Season 1 of Bridgerton, where Simon Basset, the Duke of Hastings, is found in drunken stupor the very evening of their wedding vows by his friend the boxer). The very fiddler, a joly 38 year old bloke named Robert Goh, is a friend of his, and in the happier days they would be having a nice chat or two while the locals would have a nice sequence of box dancing to the tunes. Unfortunately, our poor souls became so devoid of colour, now they no longer knew what it meant to enjoy the plainest and richest of earthly pleasures. To ignore his buddy’s shouts, Robert played a classical tune, which agitated Asher even further, and chuckled his neighbours too.

Fortunately her landlord with gracious temper, who wore a petticoat and a fur hat even in the summer days- only those around her know that is due to her ailments, which we will dare not speak of here- heard our bedny chelovek’s (author’s note: poor boy, which is a reference to Nikolai Karamzin’s 1792 tale, Poor Liza) eleventh consecutive day of finding himself locked out of a homely h(e)aven’s door, and came downstair to pick him up.

‘Still recovering?’ the landlord asked, looking over Asher who had no trouble recognising her at least. Asher, having no option but to bow to the Korean-Quebecois woman, a true Capitolien who spent all her life here, nodded and then went inside the door with her. Then, feeling shameful at repeating the same old story, Asher hurried his way up the staircase on borrowed breaths, gave his keys a couple of twists at the end of the third floor hallway, and then went inside his flat.

It’s all dark and dim, just like how the taste of last night’s dills from the market, Asher thought, looking at how empty the rest of his week looked. He was thinking back to free lunch at Cahiers du Monde for a weekly work meeting on a Tuesday. It was also yesterday- today’s thursday- when Asher had sent away a long piece on an illustrious career of Sir. Lionel Mah, the greatest Quebecois football manager. Since then, not much had happened but a list of growing disappointments and losses, and all he could feel were the shame. The morning’s deception of a promise did not prevent him from the emptiness of his bed, and the dreams of a novel did not radiate when the soul did not have its Orthodox icon by the night.

---

It was later in the night when Asher started being reminded of the past again. After the shower at two in the morning, just as the night finally slowly turned down, Asher rolled in his bed to think about a page of the novel he had forgotten to transcript earlier in the day. But Asher was losing the control of his own mind, and the lines, however hard he tried to read, were looking no less than a combination of Judeo-Arabic and Sanskrit, or Mayan and Georgian, that the beast had conquered the man instead of the other way.

So Asher placed it back on the tea table right next to the bed, lit three cigarettes, and then slowly inhaled the fumes, immersing himself into the memories brought by the night. The setting of his new flat, a product of the fin-de-siecle and its early modernist culture, could not have served its intended purpose for our readers any better. The room’s three walls, dark and smoky with the silverish fumes, were stuffy with hot air long reminiscent of his time on the very underground pit he was interned in Nuevo Caracas, a country located in the northeastern tip of Terranea infested with four decades of civil war. If he were to turn his head to the left, he would have faced the terrace and the streets, but there too the curtains had blocked any source of light coming from outside. Like the frozen image of a gaol from your childhood visit to a national historic site, there were barely any furniture out there for you to feel the ambience of home, and the flashbacks to the eighteenth year of his life had all come too real for the twenty-five year old.

To Asher, it all seemed horrific and unreal, but also expected and deserved, almost as if the doses of those painful memories were mandatory. Asher remembered how his sophomore self, feeling bored on the bus ride back from an away trip, read a renowned comparative historian’s remarkably sharp book review on a wannabe-bestseller he no longer remembered its name. However the effective that said scholar’s rhetoric and rip on the details may have been, what drew then-undergraduate the most was his ability to close it with a spellbinding statement:

‘Sure, it is one way to say that the city, upon his return, may look like a haven for a voyageur who returned from his vacation in the Inferno. But the other, more fitting way to describe the situation in the Salamantica we live nowadays is that trauma exists on every boardwalk, the brushstrokes come alive from paintings into history and indiscriminately eats its viewers alive, and the underground walkways are filled with thrift shops that close at a two-to-one ratio. Combine that with the reminders of his fathers’ atrocities, Xavier can rest in relief. Happy ending does not exist, and the same goes to heaven.’

So he laid, started to crawl and roll in the imaginary barriers of the imprisonment with self-imposed limitations. Then, as we had expected, the details came even more alive than before, and Asher, finding it all unbearable, crashed into the sleep that repeated those sequences, over and over again.

[Eura]

OOC: This is a continuation of this RP line from the previous World Cup cycle, which is set during that World Cup qualifying campaign and Euraleague Season 45. It will lead into a new RP line.

Life in the Seventh Star

Part Eight

A searing pain shot up Mateo’s side as he was struck by the hard hitting impact of a rubber baton round. A riot police officer towered over him, his shabby General Police uniform looking less intimidating than it should have done to a 14 year old who had just been floored. ‘Boy, what are you doing here? Step away!’ Mateo was too winded to respond. ‘I said move!’ The cop laid into him with his boot, which didn’t exactly help the teenager follow his instructions. Tears flowed from Mateo’s eyes due to the mixture of pain from the kicking and tear gas being set off in the background. The cop was about to drag him behind a line of riot shields (presumably to be arrested) when he himself was taken, grabbed on either side by two Aspel fans with face coverings.

One of them had a baseball bat and used it to crush the cop’s shoulder, sending him to the floor, at which point Mateo was finally saw his uncle coming through the crowd. It was like something out of a film. Uncle Medoro, the dull as dishwater accountant with a quiet temperament and a bad limp, struggled through a crowd of rioters and police amidst smoke and gas, pushing on regardless before grabbing his nephew and dragging him to his feet. ‘Matty, there you are! Thank god. Come on, let’s get out of here before it gets really nasty.’ In Mateo’s mind this had already got nasty enough. As they fled the scene chaos continued to ensue. The police and Aspel fans had descended into an uncontrollable melee, though most of the visiting Dudsbury fans had gotten away safely. Mateo and Medoro eventually reached the edge of the stadium car park and were soon on a footpath by the main road exit, walking across a bridge that overlooked the stadium grounds.

It would be a long walk home, one Mateo was not in a fit state for. He was still coughing and spluttering, and couldn’t stop blinking either. ‘Come here, hey.’ Medoro plucked a bottle of water out of his jacket and opened it hurriedly. ‘Kneel down. Open your eyes.’
‘Oooowwww!’
‘I know, I know, power through it, just keep them open.’ He poured the water gently into Mateo’s eyes, hoping to get rid of any remaining granules of the tear gas powder dispersed into the crowd. His own eyes were red. ‘Uncle, don’t you need some?’
‘Don’t worry about me. Let’s just get out of here.’ A loud crack rang in their ears and both of them instinctively huddled together. Sadly, most Samebans of all ages had become familiar with the sound of a gunshot. ‘Shit, that’s new. We’re leaving now.' Medoro marched Mateo forward with his hand firmly gripped on the boys shoulder, trying to keep him looking forward. However, he couldn’t stop Mateo seeing the inevitable response to what was going on; a group of Euran Army vehicles swarming towards the stadium.

----------

They got home to find Rossana huddled in front of the radio. Mateo skulked in, still hurting from his encounter with the Provisional Government’s lackeys. ‘Matty? Oh my god, Matty!’ She sprinted over and crouched down to hug him tight, but then gave him a slap for good measure. ‘You STUPID child! Our neighbours Kera and Toni were at the game and they saw you running about like a little bloody idiot. You could have been killed!’
‘It wasn’t that bad, Mama.’
‘Not that bad? I’ve been listening to the news. There are three people dead at the stadium! You are never going to that place again!’
‘What?! Mama that’s fucking stupid, what the hell!’
‘Don’t use that language with me. Medoro, what on earth were you doing letting him get involved in that?’ Medoro sighed and dropped his keys on the side, resigned to the criticism he probably deserved. ‘It wasn’t like I just let him toddle off, the whole thing was a mess. We’re home safe anyway. He needs a bath. They used gas.’
‘Oh a bath, a bit of warm water, yes that will make it all better. Believe me, you are BOTH in hot water, just you wait!’

She stormed off into the next room, leaving them with Mateo’s sisters. Natalie, the eldest, looked on disapprovingly. ‘What?’
‘Rough night, kiddo?’
‘I’m fine.’
‘No, you’re not, we can see your eyes. And that massive fucking bruise on your neck. What the hell Uncle?’
‘Like I said,’ he mumbled, ‘things got carried away. I got us out of there as soon as possible.’
‘Riiight. Did you at least stick it to some of those pigs? Or the Eurans?’
‘No, I did not.’ He took Mateo’s hand and went to lead him upstairs, but made a point to stop by Natalie in the doorway. ‘You know, whatever nonsense that fool Prisco has got into you, that’s your business. But you shouldn’t be encouraging it with your brother and sister.’
‘Why? Isn’t it lady-like enough old man?’ Medoro rolled his eyes and took Mateo upstairs.

‘Alright, I’ll put the warm water on. Are you ok to sort yourself out in there?’
‘I’m not a baby Uncle, I’ll be fine.’
‘You’re hurt as it is – if you manage to fall over in there your mother really will kill me.’
‘I’ll leave the door unlocked then.’
‘Good, call one of us if you can’t get up or something. Those rubber bullets leave a mark.’
‘Ok.’ Mateo turned towards the bathroom but Medoro stopped him and lowered his voice. ‘Listen, I think that is the last time for a while we will be going to a game, whether they give the fans a stadium ban or not. It’s not worth putting us in that kind of danger again for a game of football.’
‘Uncle, I want to-‘
‘No. Matty, listen…’ Medoro took a deep breath and stared at the floor a moment. Mateo hadn’t seen him get emotional very often. ‘I know you don’t fully understand why your mother reacted like that.’

Mateo went red. ‘I do, it’s because she’s scared but that’s fucking dumb and it’s not fair! I didn’t do anything wrong and neither did you.’
‘Well, no, but that’s not what…you don’t…erm. It’s not simple, you see? She will know that, but she’s not angry at you because of something you did as such.’
‘Then why?’
‘Because my brother…’ He tailed off. ‘…your father. He used to take you to games didn’t he? And everything else.’
‘You would come too-’
‘That’s not my point - Matty, just listen to me. I loved your father as a brother, and your mother loved him as a wife. He was a wonderful man. But your father would be the one to take you to things like the football, and if something like this happened, he wouldn’t be alarmed or worried. He’d laugh it off. He’d put it down as a crazy memory and then go on with his day, and she would have had to deal with the mess. And that was fine for a while, but then he went to war and didn’t come back.’

‘Since then your mother has given everything for you and your sisters, and has been determined to make sure you get the best chance in life you can. Or at least survive all of these things we have been through. So when me and you go out to a football match and come back from a riot, and you try to be brave about it, it’s not you she’s seeing; it’s your father. It’s that determination to brush it all off. And that scares the living daylights out of her.’
‘But…why?’
‘Because she doesn’t want to have to bury someone again, Mateo. You’re fifteen soon and guess what, we might have come through a lot, but you are not invincible, and neither your mother or I, or your older sister, no-one can protect you all the time in a world like this. There’s still land mines in the ruins down the block let alone everything else out there! So, we’re not going to the football for a while. And you’re going to be sensible. For her, and for me, and for your Dad. I promise you, I won’t put you in a situation like that again, but you have to promise me you won’t put yourself there either. Ok?’
‘…ok.’
‘Good. Now, go and wash up.’ Mateo watched his uncle limp away and trot downstairs, then heard the familiar sound of him dropping heavily into his armchair. He had given his nephew a lot to think about.

[Huayramarca]

Coming back, slowly, but with accurate timing

Written by: Cosme Huamán.
21/03/1982 - 3:39 P.M.

The Condors have now recovered some terrain that was lost during the end of the first half of the World Cup Qualifiers. Defeating Cirrus Azale and Damukuni in quite complicated matches had sent the team into the 3rd spot, gaining one after finishing the first half in 4th, Mytanija’s defeat in Audioslavia was enough to sent the Condors over the Mytanars for two points, having to face them in this window, if a win is gotten, five points would be a comfortable difference. Before waiting for the Mytanars at the Estadio Nacional, Huayramarca has a tough visit at Critical Operations’ Emergency Command, which doesn’t that much suitable for a football match.

The players are aware that playing as visitors at an Emergency Command dubbed “Bureau” seems “Like if we are going into an undercover mission”. It’s well known that Critical Operations is a Militia, organization known for being called by war-torn countries as a way to reinforce armies or support guerrillas in conflicts, Omar Caicedo said “We are expecting a brutal game, that match will be physical, they’ll want to try to beat our psyche”. “It’s difficult to play on that kind of surface” refers Gabriel Sayritupac to the kind of pitch they use, which is pretty much like a futsal ground, but near servers and stuff which makes that place like a central command. No Huayramarcan fans will be allowed to that venue, which is considered to be top-secret.

The Critical Operations leader, OPS-0000000001 said that the Huayramarcan players will be subjected to a memory flash that will erase their memories for the period of time they spent on the ultra-secret facility. The leader has decided to play this match at their facilities for the first time, since they didn’t decide to subject “rival” nations to said treatment. There are some rumors, mainly conspirative theories, that Critical Operations is a branch of the Costeño oligarchy that were supportive of Hugo Mina back when he was president of Huayramarca.

Letting that things aside, there are some stuff to work for both games, for that, Huayramarca has decided to rent a futsal facility in order to get adapted to the possible conditions they might found there. The players felt that the kind of surface they found wasn’t that much friendly for the type of game that Huayramarca is accustomed to practice during the matches. The rebound is harder than the one found on grass, still, it might help for speed runs through the wings, something that might benefit the wings of the Condors. The Huayramarcans might travel to the Critical Operations Center tomorrow, in order to get used to the ambiance and be able to get a decent score in order to help the Huayramarcan desires to pull out some decent competition in the Qualifiers, as much as possible and be able to get valuable experience for the future.

Meanwhile, for the match against Mytanija, preparation of the Huayramarcan Estadio Nacional continues on good shape, as of late, the Huayramarcan Sports Institute decided to install an irrigation system to keep the grass healthy, also, improving some terrain imparities that might produce some bumps while moving the ball. With this process, the conditions might be favorable to receive the Mytanars in the game after playing Critical Operations. According to the spokesperson of the HSI, Milton Gamarra, “there’s an historical need to improve Huayramarcan sports, since it had been long forgotten by past administrations, hence, we need to demonstrate that we are different, and we are here to help Huayramarcan sportspeople, in order to provide the best conditions possible and contribute for a great performance from them”.

The works on the stadium are near to completion, hence, there’s enough time to take care of the grass and be sure that it will be in optimal conditions for the upcoming match. Meanwhile, the people at the Metropolitan District are eager for the match, the tickets have been sold out for the match, but there’s some tickets available in Internet with highly inflated prices due to reselling. The Huayramarcan Football Federation is considering to render those tickets invalid and provide new ones into the market, so there would be guarantees for a real full-seater presence.

Omar Caicedo wishes to invite people for the upcoming match against Mytanija, at home, by saying “Be sure that we will provide our best efforts in both matches in order to compete as much as possible. We want to learn experience and deliver good results to the people; we don’t want to be simple spectators in this struggle. We have to go step by step, block by block, to meet our objectives and also being responsible with this, since we know that we are carrying 36 million fans in our backs, also, their football dreams too”. Please, go to the stadium and support us, we will try to deliver our best for you, so you can enjoy decent football at home”.

As for now, the match against Mytanija, in case a decent score is gotten in Critical Operations, will be crucial in order to keep fighting for the top spots of the group, and also, a chance to settle a big difference between teams if possible, or putting some spicy stuff into the group. All of this depends on how Audioslavia and Northwestern Kalactin do perform in this window, so, it’s a good time to be expectant on what can happen, since this group is a Russian roulette as for now, anything can happen, so, let’s help Huayramarca in order to achieve their objectives, so there’s room for learning more and being an uncomfortable rival for the members of this group. It’s the time for Huayramarca to show its quality and talent, step by step.

And here’s my report for you all, this is Trome’s sport service trying to provide you the very best in sports for the Huayramarcan people, sports with quality and good detail.

[Maccian]

The Induction

"Alright kids, listen up! Your year of training is finally over, for now, you are all recruits to the Ranger Corps! Out of the 7,889 kids that were viable for this role, only 60 of you remain. Ya'll should be incredibly proud of yourselves, but don't let it get to your head! I'm going to hand it over to Colour Sergeant Sorrensti now," announced the women with thick-rimmed goggles. She stepped back as she allowed Colour Sergeant Sorrensti to approach the podium. Meticulously, he disinfected the podium before his eyes gazed lazily across the seated recruits.

"What the heck is going on here? What is the Ranger Corps?" enquired Pechre.

"No idea. Just keep quiet and let the guy speak and then you might get the answer to your question," replied Ni-Ling. Boots clicked together as eleven uniformed what seemed to be soldiers all lined to the left and right of the Colour Sergeant. Gargantuan hats which seemed to be more like a mix between a sombrero and a witches hat eclipsed all of their faces, concealing their identity. Sorrensti cleared his throat as he stood erect and ready to give a speech.

"Recruits! You may all be wondering why for the past year we have sent you all over the country doing the most strenuous training that would be unmanageable for even the fittest soldiers, nevermind teenagers like yourselves. But, you have persevered where others have failed to land yourselves a shot at redemption, to truly serve your nation. I welcome you to the Ranger Corps, an ultra-elite regiment that thwarts attempts from enemies both foreign and domestic to destabilise our glorious kingdom. Now, we have been closely watching the abilities of all of you and as such, we have placed you into teams based on your capability. Now, these Rangers right here are your eleven team leaders, who will essentially provide you guidance and groom you into becoming full-fledged Rangers as well. I would like to note that every single person here is elite, no doubt about that, but some are so exceptionally gifted that it would only be fair if they had gifted Recruits too. Therefore, I will briefly hand it over to Lieutenant Ranger Caitlin Drieses," stated Colour Sergeant Sorrensti as he stepped aside. Like a waterfall, waves of coiled platinum hair flowed all the way down to her hips as she marched towards the podium. She removed her hat to reveal her face.

"I am Lieutenant Ranger Caitlin. In the Ranger Corps, you address everybody by their rank and their forename rather than their surname. But to avoid confusion, we'll be calling you out by surname. All of you are capable of different things, so we've grouped you all into teams with other recruits with a similar ability. These teams are arranged in an ascending order starting with Tier D, C, B, A, S and finally SS. Tier SS is the highest tier whilst Tier D is the lowest, but do not worry about what Tier you are classed in because anybody is capable of moving up or down depending on their performance. Now without further ado, I will announce the teams you will be placed on." said Lieutenant Ranger Caitlin.

"There are two teams in Tier D, Team Nissa and Team Stormie. The following recruits are in Team Nissa; Anders, Jettze, Wacker, Thienfoo and Tennisk. In Team Stormie; Ilko, Bloquemann, Inoavaev, Azicha, Genju and Valhelm. Please line up in front of your team leaders." said Caitlin. The recruits whose name's were announced waddled to the front of the hall in front of their team leaders and stood rigidly still in a single-file line.

"Yet again, there are two teams in Tier C, Team Fex and Jumo. Haughterton, Sammi, Nubia, Kandré, Asfueros and Skylar are in Team Fex. Makizu, Kamar, Abraham, Henz, Lee and Hayuigerr are in Team Jumo. There are three teams in Tier B, Teams Remode, Saul and Mike. D’Marco, Ferreira, Kampfwelt, Selden, Lin and Vegas are in Team Remode. Raymundo, Saturnina, Newporter, Järvinen and Eetu are in Team Saul. Make, Zaermann, Conmebol, Rogers, Lostt and Floss are in Team Mike. In Tier A, there are two teams, Team Liza and Team Tammie. Svandersson, Lenza, Arimay, Singh, Kale and Haaverland are in Tean Liza. Tricerr, Carnoto, Parasopht, Ankalay, Spinora and Tairanno are in Team Tammie. There is only one team in Tier S which consists of Team Karma. Tall, Runo, San and Yuchiha are in Team Karma. And finally, in Tier SS, Quill, Oevera, and both Malkaiit's are in my team, Team Caitlin. Welcome to the Ranger Corps, recruits!"

[Vdara]

Four-One, We’re On A Run!

Following a thumping 5-1 victory against Norish Jeia Repa, Vdara were at home to an in-form Baker Park. The last time these two sides had clashed it ended in a 3-3 draw, following a comeback from being 3-0 down. With Baker Park sitting only 2 points behind in second place, any result worse than a draw would leave Vdara’s possibility of qualification in a precarious position. Doesn’t really help that Baker Park have won their last 7 games though, does it?

Home Team Dressing Room
VdarArena

Was Væñøœrëñbérghüïś still perhaps a bit too excited from the Electrum match? Of course he was. He seemed to be getting more and more excited every matchday which, in turn, made the players more excited. A positive atmosphere was brewing within the team, and with positivity comes results.

Væñøœrëñbérghüïś: ”Right-o, boys. This game is gonna be a tough one, let me assure you that. Our opposition, like us, are unbeaten. They’re also on a good run of form, which is a bit unnerving considering we’re on one as well. Either way, you all need to put in 100% effort if you want to win this game. In fact, you might need to put in 110% effort at points, due to how important this match is. Not just for the group, of course, but for the Unofficial World Championship. Yes, yes, I know it’s the interim one and that the real one is currently held by Eura, but still - we could get our name into the history books here if we manage to swipe that title from them. It’s not the most important thing in the world, but it would be cool to see our names mentioned whenever the Unofficial World Championship is mentioned, eh? Anyhow, enough about that. Let’s talk about the task at hand. We’re up against the Commonwealth of Baker Park, a side who have won 7 of their last 10 games - including one where they smacked Bonbokh u Piche by a margin of 9-2. They’re one of the highest scoring teams in this competition as a whole. In fact, we’ve both scored 39 goals in the group, so this matchup will definitely involve goals, goals, and even more goals. Last time around, we drew 3-3 with these guys. I don’t want us giving up as many goals this time around, but if you could score as many goals as you did last time I can’t say I would be displeased. We need to counter their every move - where they go high, we go low, and vice versa. Tactically, we’ll be going with the usual 5-3-2 formation, the one we always use for this squad. However, unlike last time, I want the two wingbacks to stay in defence. Let the midfield and attack handle the goal scoring, you lot just stick to your positions. In terms of midfield, you guys need to play more attacking than usual. With the wingbacks staying back, you guys might need to spread out, so be ready to use more energy than you often do. You lot in attack - do what you always do. Bully their defenders, intercept passes, and score as many goals as you can. Everybody got it? You all ready to show the home fans what you can do? You better be, because we’re gonna do that!”

The match report is as follows:

1: The whistle has blown, and the match at the VdarArena has kicked off. The home fans, as usual, are buzzing to see this match - and let’s be honest, I think we all are.
3: It’s a corner to Vdara, and Vlahiades will be the one to take said corner. Vlahiades whips the ball into the box... and it’s hit the crossbar and rebounded towards Galanatos... who chests the ball into the box to give Vdara an early lead! If anyone in the crowd wasn’t excited before, they certainly are now!
15: Ooft, that’s a badly timed tackle from Taborn, who earns themselves a yellow card.
27: It’s a free kick to Vdara on the edge of the box, and I think Tryfon Vlahiades fancies this one. Vlahiades runs up to the ball, curves the ball over the wall... but the free kick is saved wonderfully by Johnston to keep Baker Park in this match!
31: Vangelis Mavroglou has the ball in midfield, and he’s passed it forward towards Andrianos Petras out wide, who’s being held up by Bartok. Petras won’t be able to get out of the position he’s in, so he’s crossed the ball into the box... and it’s volleyed in by Kimon Karalas! The midfielder may have had a tough time with scoring goals thus far, but he’s scored a sublime goal just there to make it 2-0 to Vdara.
45: Well, that’s halftime, and Vdara have the edge over Baker Park thus far.

With the game paused, the teams went into their respective dressing rooms with opposite opinions on how the match was going. Væñøœrëñbérghüïś was delighted with how the game had gone so far, but he wanted to keep his cool for now. After all, he didn’t want the players to get complacent - especially not during the match.

Væñøœrëñbérghüïś: ”Keep this up, boys. You’re piling on the pressure, and that’s what I like to see. We’ve still got another 45 minutes to go, though, so don’t think you’ve won it yet. In fact, don’t think you’ve won this game until the final whistle blows. Keep the complacency to a minimum, alright? Anyways, let’s just get back out there and do what we do best.”

46: Halftime is over, and the away side will have work to do if they plan on getting back into this match.
48: Moustakakos has the ball at his feet, and it looks like he’s going to launch this goal kick far up the pitch. He hits the ball with power, and it’s sailing over everyone. Oh, hang on! I think he saw that Johnston was far off his line, because he’s trying to run back as fast as he can... but it’s too late! Markos Moustakakos has scored a goal from his own 18-yard box! Take a bow, son, take a bow!
55: It’s a corner to Baker Park, and Westmoreland will be the one to take it. Westmoreland tries to swing it in... but it’s crossed the goal line, and the referee has given a goal kick. Waste of a corner, that was.
68: Baker Park seemed to have changed their shape a bit, and they look to be trying to attack more. Odd tactical choice, considering the situation they’re in.
70: It’s a penalty to Baker Park! Giannakos tripped LeClair as they were entering the box, and the referee has pointed to the spot!
71: Bozeman will step up to take this penalty, and he looks oddly calm. Can he give his team a route back into the game from the penalty spot... of course, he can! The captain scores a goal for Baker Park, and the scoreline is now 3-1! Can they salvage anything from this now!
78: Baker Park look closer and closer to scoring, but they’re not taking shots. If they want to get a result, they need to take more shots!
82: It’s a corner to Baker Park, and Westmoreland will be taking this one. Can only hope this one goes better than the last corner, eh? Westmoreland tries to aim it towards LeClair, but it’s headed away by Giannakos. Karalas has the ball, and it looks like Vdara are going for a late counter attack. Karalas lobs the ball towards Lazelis, who’s one-on-one with Johnston... and scores! The game has been well and truly put to bed now, and in emphatic fashion! Who would have expected this result before a ball was kicked, it’s 4-1!
90: That’s it, that’s the game! It’s full time, and all credit to the home side - they tore the favourites apart today!

VDARA - 4
Nestoras Galanatos 3’
Kimon Karalas 31’
Markos Moustakakos 48’
Chirstoforos Lazelis 82’

BAKER PARK - 1
Jamari Bozeman 71’ (P)

Following the match, the dressing room felt like a disco. Quite literally, players were dancing, chanting, and feeling happy. Heck, even Væñøœrëñbérghüïś was chuffed - albeit, he had a reminder for the players.

Væñøœrëñbérghüïś: ”Look, lads. I’m as delighted at this result as you are, but you have to remember what I said about complacency. We’re only 5 points clear of 2nd and 3rd, and our next game is against Xanneria, so you can’t be celebrating as if we’ve just achieved qualification. Not yet, anyways. If we manage to achieve it, then you can dance like you did just then. In fact, if we manage to qualify, I’m buying you all donuts. That’s a big if, though. There’s still 7 games to go - still plenty time for us to muck this up, y’know. I have faith in you guys, though. I know you won’t muck this up.”

Væñøœrëñbérghüïś was right. Vdara’s next 7 matches had some big names: Electrum, Hapilopper, and Xanneria. Those three were definitely still in contention for qualification, and could not be counted out yet- and if the Vdarans want to qualify, they mustn’t forget that. After all, they’ve never even qualified themselves. They should know not to count anybody out, even if they’re more than 5 points behind.

[Mercedini]

87th World Cup Qualification
Down To The Wire
@ Zoloroni Sports City Stadium - Zoloroni, Mercedini

The Clock Is Ticking, With Many Still In Contention As Games Run Out

It is seldom seen that a qualification cycle is so close with games running down to the wire. We often see last-day tussles between one or two teams for that final qualification spot, but there is now a real possibility that up to five teams will be fighting for one last playoff spot in Group 6. Whether some teams will drop of or whether some teams will race away with it, we could be in for a blockbuster final day if we are led down the garden path to this kind of finish.

We were set up with this conundrum with Juvencus and Gouvanarch both winning against teams lower down the table, while Dini enacted revenge on a high-flying San Ortelio by a singe goal. Giving the latter only their second loss of the campaign so far. Qasden could have joined in that tight knit group, but they drop three points behind Dini in fifth following a narrow loss to runaway leaders Turori by one goal to nil. It leaves Turori with a whopping ten point lead after eleven games, and almost assured of the top spot with their ferocious record, while San Ortelio is the best of the rest, holding onto that playoff spot despite that most recent loss. Juvencus is now up to third after a late rally in the first half plus a good start which saw them pick up four points out of eight. Further down, less-fancied Gouvanarch stay strong with a couple of 2-0 wins too keep them in the hunt, while a 3-0 win against Sannyamathland and that narrow win over the group's second place team means Dini close the gap on that illusive playoff spot, and remain only three points behind their reality-adjusted goal.

Rounding out the rest of the group, Qasden's tough start to the second half means they lose ground on their main rivals, they sit sit points behind the chasing group, but now have a much easier time of things now the juggernaut of Turori is now out of the way. Bringing up the rear is Treekidistan, Freeport, Cosumar and Sannyamathland who are all yet to break the double digit mark in the group so far. With matches running out, we are likely to see one if not all of them face some kind of elimination within the coming few days.

From a Mercedinian perspective, it's safe to say that the campaign has been a struggle to say the least, dropped points here, there and everywhere have left Dini playing catch-up from the initial position, after they occupied the top spot following the first round of match with a handy 4-0 win in Sannyamathland. Since then, it has all been downhill from there, with closely fought but unsurprising losses to Turori, to the big upset of the group, where unranked San Ortelio went into the Sports City Stadium and ran out 2-1 victors on a night where nothing seemed to go right for the hosts. With an extended break and a good start to the second half, it's hoped that Dini can begin to plug the holes and begin to claw distance back to make it to the World Cup, the long way round.

With all the variables in play from now till the end, Billic and his team would be wise to solely focus on the next match awaits them, before keeping an eye on what is happening around them. The next two matches will be a home game against Freeport, followed by a whistle stop tour in Treekidistan. On paper, these should be two matches which Mercedini should pick up points from, and ideally, take three from. In the reverse legs, Dini could only muster a 1-1 draw in Freeport, before they ran riot in the Sports City Stadium, racking up goals in a 5-1 win, probably to make up for the lack of goals in their other games. Regardless of the results, it will then be a waiting game to see what the road ahead is for the Golden Eagles in their next double of matches.

Anyway, this is just a quick one before we view all the action of Mercedini vs. Freeport, you can look at all the coverage by following Mercedini Sports Daily on all the socials, which will give second-by-second updates plus pre and post match reaction of all the games. It's a long road, but thankfully there is still a road which we can walk down to get to the big time. From Zoloroni, goodnight!

[South Newlandia]

Don’t choke this now; we‘re having such a good time, we’re having a ball

Elephants roll out big wins against top seeds!

Hell yeah

Against Hampton Island, Campionato Esportiva champions just this year and regular world cup participants, and in Pasarga, also a regular at the World Cup, no one thought the Elephants had a good shot for points at all. Yet, the Elephants have a certain habit at being annoying to the top seeds. Hosting Hampton Island in the Dome, they knew trying to score would be key. Hampton, one of the best defenses in the league, have been holding everyone else to single-digit goals easily; yet they also only have 6 goals of their own. Just one goal could seal the deal if Trischuk has a good game. Trischuk did do just that, even though the defense gave him little to worry about, and McCabe and Irving made it two goals for good measure. That was an extremely important win, but with the Golden Bears’ recent form, it wasn’t the biggest surprise ever. The far bigger surprise came in Rushmore.
Visiting the Wanderers, a team they were 0-0-3 against so far, the Elephants actually had an opportunity. Pasarga had just dropped two points against newcomers Tumbra, and were now clear only by three points. South Newlandia could pull even with a win. Following an early score by Júlia Müller; this seemed to not be the case today, and the Elephants went into the half trailing by one. That isn’t the end of the world though. Irving managed to even the game up in the 63rd, and it was Finnley Wallis who put a dagger into Pasargan hearts with a brilliant free kick perfectly into the net, with minutes to go. The Wanderers were close to evening the score again late in the game, when Müller was brought down by Barker in the box, but a fantastic reaction by Trischuk saved a penalty that wasn’t taken perfectly. A hard-fought, narrow win in a game the Wanderers were actually looking better in for most of the game brings the Elephants now into a historically good position. They are even with Pasarga on points, and five points clear of the rest of the field; but this is exactly when a lot of good teams choke their good position away. The team must remain calm, and focus on the matches against Valladares and Garifunya; every game demands to be taken seriously now. The team may have a small chance, but every point matters.


Who’s doing well right now? Regional edition

AO

Esportiva

Rushmore

Independents

[Ethane]

Don't stop believing. Unless you're last. You can stop believing then. Especially if, when I do it, your name ends up in red. But that isn't yet. So keep believing. Good luck.

Cutoff for WC87 MD12-13

[Euran Oceania Territories]

Skorji Oslograd stood magnificently over the breach of his dressing room, legs apart, power pose established. He had all the confidence of a man whose reality was fully detached from his increasingly mediocre managerial record and confused philosophy. 'Alright lads, listen up. I want you to bear with me. Now the thing is, we've been better this time around.'
'In the sense that we haven't lost almost every game halfway through qualifying?'
'No-'
'We only conceded twice against Astograth!'
'No-'
'We have a positive goal difference, that's good.'
'N- well, actually yes, that is good, but-'
'Your hairline isn't receding yet?'
'FOR FUCK SAKE, QUIET! No, no...' Skorji staggered against a wall, holding himself up with a palm, causing a ripple of concerned murmurs.

There were rumours running rife that the stress of making this band of misfits into the world-beating gladiators Skorji had promised was proving too onerous for any manager working to any timeframe, let alone the generous ten year one the Euran Oceanian footballing authorities had permitted Oslograd. And yet, here he was. Still standing. Sort of. 'Pierre Louis, get them to listen.' The erstwhile captain threw a bottle full of ice straight at Baily Davison's head, and it shut everyone up. 'Thank you. Now, as I was saying, we have done well so far in a tough group. I can't say I'm not pleased with where we have got to, considering how crap we were last time. But we must sustain our ambition. To be truly great, to embody The Way of the Warrior, we must be willing to experiment.'
'Experiment, gaffer? You're not going to make us do zumba again are you?'
'Fuck no. Not in a million years. What we are going to do is something truly, truly radical. Unheard of. Never tried before. Behold!' He pulled down on a cord by the dressing room whiteboard to release its cover, revealing a beautifully drawn diagram of a new formation. 'We will experiment with our new found midfield depth and our forwards flexibility by playing this formation. I call it the Stratagem of Death by a Thousand Cuts. Some might say playing with four at the back, six midfielders and no strikers is against the spirit of the all out attack of The Way, but I say fuck them - this could work. We will have four attacking midfielders, mesmerising our opponents from beyond the confines of The Box, striking them when they least expect it through the most fluid passing play we can muster!'

Michael Ford, the Bastion centreback who had become an integral part of the team, looked away sheepishly first and was quickly followed by the rest of the team. Oslograd clocked that something wasn't right immediately. 'What? What is it?' No-one said anything for fear of incurring his wrath. 'Alright. Come on. Tell me. Fordy, I saw that look on your face.'
'Its nothing gaffer.'
'Like hell it isn't, tell me!'
'Ok. So, the thing is and, please don't be mad but...that's a 4-6-0, and it isn't new.'
'...what?'
'Yeah, like, a couple of smaller teams have switched to it against us in the Gold League when they want to defend for a point. Like your Carsby lot Freddie, you shithousing small timer!' Ford's centreback colleague, a Carsby player, grunted his disapproval. Others joined in. 'Yeah, I've seen it before on TV.'
'Me too, I use it on YoEur'e a Football Manager Mobile.'
'My dad taught me the 4-6-0 in a game of subbuteo when I was but a boy-'

They were all rudely interpreted by the sound of Oslograd screaming out in anguish. 'FUUUUUUUUUUCK! WHY! WHY WOULD NO-ONE TELL ME THIS!'
'We just sort of thought you'd know, boss? You were a pretty good player in your time anyway. In fact, I'm pretty sure you played against a 4-6-0 in your seventh match, according to this Emplor art-'
'Stop reading that fucking rag! Fuck! FUCK! Fucking fuckety...shit. Bastard. Bastard.'
'Boss?'
'Fuck it, that's it. We're playing with eight forwards.'
'Eight?!'
'Eight, its happening. Go on. Get out there now.'

[Balqia]

The smoke rose to the sky as a snake swims in an empty sea, curving itself with the light impulse of turrets just to return to its ascent. But soon the smoke vanquished with a quick movement from Kareli that threw the cigarette in the ground, and returned to the insides of his hotel room. Sara was wearing the long pink coat she bought in one of the foreign countries, her long blond hair was hidden under a strange hat that resembled an apple, in her mouth stood a Popsicle.
— Where is Topolin?
She asked with a soft yet aggressive voice.
— In one of his parties. — Replied Kareli, approaching her with a smile. — This time he was with some model from the room next door.
She followed him as they entered the corridor, leaving the empty room behind. He went to the stairs, but she stood there.
— Are you sure about that?
He only smiled. He arrived in the first floor with Sara just two steps behind him, she followed him like a cat follows a fisherman. He waited before leaving the hotel, the guards stood in the entrance to make everyone sure that Balqia’s watchful eye didn’t close, even in Tequilo. But if the eyes of the government don’t close they blink sometimes, one of the officers went to a walk, leaving just one in duty. Kareli and Ptoloviq escaped the hotel soon after, using a group of tourists as a disguise.
Tequilo was a strange country. People went around in scandalous clothing, entering and leaving building from where loud music emanated, flooding the streets with its electronic tones and happy melodies. The two balqese went around as two kids in an amusement park, entering pub’s and restaurants only to order some alcoholic beverage and then leave to the next novelty.
They only settled after the few Chèlinpesos they had in their wallets vanished, leaving behind only enough for a bottle of Tequila in a small saloon where a band of Mariachi’s played a funny music they didn’t understand.
— You know… I… I’m beginning to understand these… these foreigners.
Said Sara, almost falling in the ground. It was a common trope in national movies that, given a little freedom, balqese would just get drunk after some drinks. She was making sure that life imitated art.
— Calm down… you shouldn’t push yourself.
Advised Kareli, more used to drinks thanks to the prison’s well known Voda, a beverage made from fermented rice that was smuggled from the kitchens.
— Oh, come on… — She said, putting her red face between her hands. — It’s a prize for… for playing.
— You shouldn’t win a prize for losing.
Stated Kareli, drinking the remaining Tequila in his cup.
— It’s a… participation prize. — She tried to grab the bottle, but he took it away from her. — Just playing is enough… We… we are going to lose anyway, what’s the point?
— It’s not about winning or losing! — He said, imitating his mother. — It is about enjoying the experience.
— You… you should tell this to the guys in Orsav.
She laughed, attracting the attention of some people in the tables around.
— They just sent us for some propaganda. — He responded, calling the waiter with a hand sign. — Those crooks just think about maintaining order and stability. Everything else is “futile”.
He ended his phrase imitating the usual speech pattern of the old ministers, with a low voice in the beginning and a sudden high pitch at the end. Sara made an army salute and returned to her laughter soon after, now with Kareli’s company.
They left the saloon after paying the bill with the last Chèlinpeso hidden in their wallet. The walk back to the hotel was long, the clear night in Tequilo gave them the opportunity to see the moon in the sky, patiently observing their slow dance through the streets. Some natives and tourists glanced at them, women and men alike invited them to every sort of place, they had to improvise a mimic to tell them they had no money and refined it at every new invite for some drinks.
They arrived long past midnight, when even Topolin was forbidden to stay in the streets. As they entered the hotel by the backdoor a pause was done to help them get back in their feet and share their last words.
— I wish everyday was like this.
Sara sighed.
— Well, it can if you get something out of this Cup. — Replied Kareli. — Probably we’ll get some reward for doing this, money, maybe some more freedom.
— I hope so… — Sara looked at his face. — You know, I have to tell you a secret.
— A secret?
He asked confused.
— Yes, a secret. — She confirmed. — The thing is… I hate football. I only play it because my mother forced me.
— What? But you are the best in the Women’s League!
— No, I’m the most popular.
Her eyes burnt with what he previously though was life, but now seemed like resentment.
— What’s the difference?
Kareli couldn’t stop himself to ask. He knew it was a stupid question, but he was really confused.
— The best player is the one that… plays better. — She crossed her eyes. — The most popular is the one who attracts more creeps that like to see women running. Just yesterday I found a website where…
— You don’t have to tell me.
He stopped her in what she interpreted as an act of kindness and respect, but in fact Kareli knew exactly what website she was talking about and feared he couldn’t hide it.
— So… That’s it. — Sara got up. — We should go… I… I don’t even know why I told you this…
— Don’t worry, I wont tell anyone.
And he didn’t. Even when they found five security officers waiting for them in their rooms, even when they were dragged to a van and questioned about where they went, who they met and what they’ve done. Kareli stood silent, even when they put a knife in his throat and told him to tell everything. His mouth didn’t open, and luckily neither did his throat.

[Valanora]

Raynor City, a city that was never meant to be the capital of the Elven Security Alliance, a city that was never meant to prosper and flourish, a city that was never meant to exist in the slightest, until a family came and made it all happen. A family that then went on to lead the alliance and the kingdoms through centuries, building a city where people from all walks of life were welcomed, whether they were of the noble high born who could still trace back their roots to the original seven elves who founded the first villages to even those those cast down low and have had to live in the underground, mocked as the drow or dark elves. It made sense at the time, the Raynors themselves were half bloods, a family that had both the noble high born as well as the drow in their blood, though they had the fairer skin and complexion of their noble cousins. Despite that, they were still seen as lesser than those who lived in the inner kingdoms or in the north where Gladerial flourished, Longview stood as testament to the fortitude of the species, and Stormguard stood as the defense to any invaders who are to trespass the lands of the elves.

In the south though, the oft forgotten south that despite its small stature in the political arena was the breadbasket of an emerging nation, as a small town founded as a refuge was slowly beginning to have a reach and dominance over half a continent. The Raynors welcomed all and did not judge those who came into their city or domain, as long as they swore to provide for the greater good of the community as a whole. Cultivating strong relationships with Mar Sara, Rinaldi, Quel'Thalas, as well as the island state of Capri, forging a strong trade system that brought goods from field to market, Raynor City started to flourish. Flourish so much it did that even those clergy in Char Sara began to recognize the power and nobility of the family whom they had cast aside as upstarts decades before, that the High Priestess herself would come to respect and even visit the Raynors and their family mansion in the city that they had created. As time wore on, Raynor City continued to flourish more and more until at last Gladerial had to relinquish its claim to being the political center of the nation and instead it was in Raynor City, with the Raynors being crowned as the Kings and Queens of the Elven Security Alliance.

In much the same way, Raynor City United was formed not as a club of Raynor City itself, but it was a youth team for the mighty Gladerial United in the north, the team that had been the first club to form in the Empire after visitors from foreign lands had brought the sport to their shores. Gladerial helped form the first Elven First Division and was the dominant side of the league, even though Char Sara FC, Mar Sara FC, and SC Rinaldi would win a handful of titles during the tenure of the Elven First Division. Over twenty years though, the influence of Gladerial expanded unchecked and would ultimately be the downfall of both the club as well as the Elven First Division, as they refused entry of Raynor City United and Raynor City FC into the First Division, as the pair of capital clubs had garnered enough capital and support to garner entry. Gladerial did not want to lose their feeder team however and barred both clubs from entering, as a result of this move the remaining seven teams of the league voted unanimously to disband the Elven First Division and instead opted to form what is today the Elven Premiership, or Premiership for short.

Now, over a hundred years later, Raynor City and its club of Raynor City United stand as the pinnacle of what the Eternal Empire has to offer, with another Raynor sitting on the throne as the Empress of the Eternal Empire. In addition to being the best and most well supported club in all of the Empire, the Rockers are one of the best clubs in all of domestic football, the premier attraction for many footballers should they be given the offer to play for the team, and fans from all corners of the footballing world. In much the same way that the Raynors built their city in a welcoming attitude, so has the club that has their name built their reputation, welcoming all who would call it theirs, so long as they stand up for the colors. Millions, perhaps even billions, of fans watched both inside the Empire and outside as Raynor City United took on Northern Union for the right to call themselves the best domestic club in the world. It was billed as a battle of the glamour and glitz of Raynor City United against the grit of Northern Union and it is perhaps fitting that the Rockers have such a diverse but united fanbase as they came together from all walks of life and corners of the footballing world to celebrate United lifting the trophy aloft, bringing back a lost sense of glory to the capital and cheer for all those who support the navy and white.

[Savigliane]

LA REPUBBLICA
Where The Capital Gets Its News
SAVIGLIANE FLYING HIGH TO START SECOND HALF
MATTEO CAMPARI, sports

ACQUI BOLLENTE - When Tlanx-Nulzk Hal took over the Savigliano National Team a few months ago, he made some incredibly bold, yet thoughtful promises for the future of the Red-and-Blues. "I know that this team can help to heal Savigliane. I can't promise we'll qualify this cycle, or next — although you have my word I'll do everything I can to make this team the best it can be — but most of all, I intend to make this team something that can unite all Saviglianos; something that can make all Saviglianos proud; something that can give all Saviglianos hope. & hopefully, we can do our small part to help Savigliane heal," the Qusmi had said what feels like an eternity ago. And while Savigliane's remaining slate is a minefield of high-ranking nations and lower-seeded surprise packages, to lead the group with just five matches to play is an absolute coup de grace for Tlanx-Nulzk, and a 10-1-2 record to this point in the competition, no matter what the strength of schedule has been, is nothing short of fantastic.

Especially impressive has been the style in which our Blue-and-Reds have won their matches. While they've yet to play any of the top three seeded nations in Qualifying Group 19 - although eighth-placed Port Ember may not be as much of a threat as their rank indicates - what they have done is win in style. Tlanxball's promise of high-octane, attacking play sputtered at times, but during the second half of qualifiers it's led to a whopping fourteen goals in four matches, conceding just four goals in the same time period. Even more impressive has been the Blue-and-Reds' consistency, scoring at least three goals in each of the last four matches. While Savigliane's MD10-13 opponents have been no murderers' row, sides like Kohnhead and Former Unofficial World Champions Al-Qurija are still relatively stiff opposition, yet Tlanx-Nulzk has swept them aside nonetheless.

Things got started in Villeneuve's Stade National with an MD10 opener against Pemecutan. Agung Suryanantha's side had proven surprisingly difficult to break down in the away fixture, but against an attack-focused lineup, they couldn't hold on quite as long in Villeneuve. Pietro Giraudo's delightful through-ball set the hard-running Isabella Coste up perfectly for the first goal of the match just six minutes and twenty-seven seconds after kick-off, Francesco Grimaldi tallied his fifth goal of the qualifiers with a well-taken penalty just before halftime, and Michael Durand made it three late. Pemecutan were threatening as ever on the attack, with Karo League scoring champion Wijaya testing Camillo Notari multiple times, but Savigliane were simply the better side on the day.

The 3-0 win was a massive boost of confidence heading into a key away fixture against fifth-place Kohnhead. Against the Galactic Empire, Tlanx-Nulzk's eleven started strongly through scintillating passing and targeting right-back Taylor Rodar by overloading her flank with the likes of Coste, Grimaldi, Marchetti, and Toscani. The tactic worked to perfection, earning Savigliane two early goals from Toscani and Grimaldi. Kohnhead battled back, however, with Rodar showing her worth on the other end of the field with a peach of a cross that Maltos headed home. And just past the hour mark, a poorly-timed Chiara Blanco challenge earned Korkson a penalty that the Kohnhead City FC striker converted with ease. With the score leveled up, the match became nervier and nervier as time wound down. But Tlanx-Nulzk's nerve proved stronger on the day, as his substitution of Calliope Montevecchi on the right wing proved crucial led to a late winner, as the Firebirds winger's devastating long-range shot was parried only as far as Thea Squarciafichi for the third Savigliano goal of the night.

After securing a critical three points in Kohnhead City, the Red-and-Blues returned home to Trinité for a match against the winless United Pink States, whose only points this qualification campaign came in a bizarre 3-3 draw to Eura. Like that day, the Couriers surprised through an early goal, using the powerful right boot of Jordan Irvine. Unlike that day, the Pinksters couldn't hold on, and the tidal wave of Tlanxball swept over them to the tune of four first-half goals. Although Tlanx-Nulzk had chosen a relatively rotated lineup, even the second-stringers were able to make an impact, with goals from Thea Squarciafichi, Augustin Dirac, Zoë Barthelemy, and Sébastien Petit (his first since the Smurfgate Incident) the result of overwhelming, attractive team football. Irvine struck again early in the second half, as he had in the first, but a late goal by Michael Durand put the game even further to bed than it previously had been, and Savigliano fans went home satisfied with the seven-goal thriller.

From Ligurie to Savigliane the Red-and-Blues went, for their home match against Al-Qurija in Acqui Bollente's Stadio del Piero. While fans were somewhat surprised at Tlanx-Nulzk's decision to play a full-strength starting eleven, it's believed that the manager is settling into a more consistent starting eleven after some tinkering. Whatever the reason was, it worked against the "Secret Champs", with Durand scoring early, Grimaldi late, and Amara Vatrican in the middle to secure an assured three-nil victory. Al-Qurija won a late penalty after a late mistimed challenge from Nathaniel Auvergne, but Modevideo Carpi skied the team's shot at consolation, and Grimaldi ended any thoughts of a comeback moments later with his spectacular volley of an Isabella Coste cross.

So four matches of what has felt like cruise control later, Savigliane now imminently faces the toughest challenges of their qualification campaign. Siovanija & Teusland's shock draw to Pemecutan, as well as Eura's loss to the Goldhorns, puts Savigliane in a stunning first place in Group 19, with thirty-one points just one ahead of Siovanija & Teusland and six ahead of third-placed Eura. However, with away fixtures against the group's top three seeds, as well as home fixtures against fifth-placed Natanians & Nosts and sixth-placed Mapletish, remaining, nothing is guaranteed. Eura's relatively softer schedule means they're likely to collect the vast majority of their 15 remaining points available, while Savigliane will need to scrap and battle in every one of their remaining fixtures to get anything from said matches. Still, if Savigliane can manage a result against Eura, their chances of finishing in the top two will greatly increase, and even losses against Eura and Siovanija & Teusland may be salvageable if they can avoid dropping points in the other fixtures, and if Eura continues their inconsistent form. In the meantime, all of Savigliane will be biting their fingernails - but even a third-place finish would be a great credit to our nation, and to Tlanx-Nulzk Hal's rebuilding project here in Savigliane.

L'AUDACIA DELLE PERSONE
Due to New Regulations, We're Technically a Blog Now
PM CANDIDATES: WHICH SAVIGLEGA TEAMS DO THEY SUPPORT?
Nico COLOMBO, sports (and also politics, apparently)

Just like a FOOTBALL RIVALRY, relations between many of the party leaders have been quite TESTY as of late, ever since the frequently-debated ALBERTO CACCINI INCIDENT sent shock waves throughout Savigliane. But with a hotly-contested and unprecedented post-Event ELECTION just WEEKS AWAY, the question on all Savigliano fans' minds is "What SavigLega Team Will My Future PM Support?" Well, that's also what we're thinking about here at L'Audacia Delle Persone - and since they all lie about their policies anyways, you MIGHT AS WELL go off of this when you cast your vote - if you go at all! After all, if the Event has taught us one thing, it's that NONE OF THIS MATTERS! SO without further ado, the list!

PRIME MINISTER ALPHONSE DUHAMEL (Ligue-Est) - After taking over for Achille Canaveri after the former's SHOCK RESIGNATION, Duhamel has earned a reputation as CAUTIOUS and GUARDED - it's no surprise, then, that he opted for the SAFE CHOICE for Ligurie. "I've been a fan of AS Villeneuve since I was a little kid," said Duhamel, who grew up in the second capital. A boring choice, but one that won't lose him any voters - we'd bet ANYTHING that his second club is AC ACQUI BOLLENTE, since THAT's the Duhamel way!

VIOLETTE BARTOIS (Alliance des Sociaux-Démocrates) - Does the ICE QUEEN have a soft spot for football? You BET she does! While Bartois's ICY demeanor, and FEARLESS speeches in parliament, and POLICY WONK reputation don't exactly make her the stereotypical football fan, Bartois does support childhood club Stade-Ferre Trinité! But TRUE TO FASHION, she frames her support in SOCIALIST DOGMA, claiming that the club's "heritage as a steelworkers' club resonates with my desire to help the working class." Or, like Stade-Ferre, she just likes coming in THIRD PLACE!

ALBERTO CACCINI (Populistas) - No surprises here, as the FIERY Alberto Caccini, famous for SHOVING DUHAMEL into a TABLE due to a policy disagreement, opts for the most fiery club in the whole SavigLega! "I bleed black and white - Pietrargenta until I die!" says the LEFT-WING ICONOCLAST, who's built a MASSIVE base of support in the mountain districts surrounding Pietrargenta - but, like Pietrargenta, has earned himself a whole lot of HATERS from LIGURIE for his upfront, abrasive style!

EMMANUEL SAINT LAURENT (Une Nation) - The centrist UPSTART has chosen a suitably centrist, upstart team - the second capital's second team, VILLENEUVE NSC! "Villeneuve NSC are bold, focused, and modern - just like me!" said Saint Laurent, in TYPICALLY CHEEKY fashion, when asked! He also revealed that he supported PORTO VECCHIO back when they still had star midfielder Adrian Toscani, before Toscani's transfer to Cazadores Cathair! Well, we sure wish he would follow Toscani in LEAVING THE COUNTRY!

[Tequilo]

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KIPOLALIA
The Auto-Imitation Disease

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Part 1 - in which the Tequilo IAC squad catch The Kip
Part 2 - in which the infected are sent to isolation camp
Part 3 - in which hope of a quick end to the virus fades with news of Long Kip
Part 4 - in which the Kipolalia Five face extra time in isolation

Part 5/7: Death By Kip

“Skraight float!” yelled Tomás, alerting the staff at Camp Kippo to the the body floating in the pool. “Skraight float!” It was the best he could do with his Kipolalia, but it was enough to get the staff running. Sure enough, face down in the pool, wearing only his swim shorts and a heavy iron chain around his neck that he’d stolen from the maintenance workshop in the cellar, painted metallic gold in an art therapy class and insisted on wearing everywhere to the point where it wasn’t worth arguing with him, was former young international footballer Ssrtskauouoi, usually known as Esâ Neá. The chain pulled his head and shoulders low in the water, and he wasn’t moving. It was just after five in the morning, and poor Esâ Nea was a pale blue-gray colour in the dawn light - he looked like he’d been in the pool a few hours, and he wasn’t coming out alive.

Staff hooked him with a pool cleaning net while one aide jumped in, but it was all too late - he was rolled stiffly out of the water, his lips a dark blue and his blank yellowed eyes open. No more would he imitate the addled junky crack-den squatter he’d been creating in his Kep-disrupted mind as he declined in mental health over the weeks of isolation, first at Camp 19 on Nira and now here at the repurposed La Medida resort popularly known as Camp Kippo on the otherwise almost deserted Palnoa island. While the other four in quarantine and rehab were making progress, some slow, some faster, poor Esâ had not been able to arrest the decline of his auto-imitation disease.

Translating the description of his last known hours from his Kip-jammed friend Tomás, it seemed that Esâ thought his crack-ridden persona had started to imagine he was a shapeshifter and was in the throes of becoming a Tamarindian Hairy River Dolphin, which he’d seen in a zoo as a child. Given the amount of nonsense Esâ was talking and the limited capacity for conceptualisation that Tomás had at this point because of his own auto-imitation difficulties, it was hardly a surprise that it didn’t occur to him to alert staff to this new and peculiar development. He went to bed.

Esâ, presumably imitating a crackhead who thought he was a dolphin, decided to take a swim in the resort pool but was not seen by the night staff and likely drowned when he got into trouble with his pretend gold neck chain that was made of premium heavyweight iron. Technically he drowned. But to all intents and purposes, this was death by the Kip.

§

The news was greeted with great shock and sorrow in Tequiloan society. The general public had no idea things could go so bad with Kipolalia. All the reports coming out of La Medida, combined with the homecoming of most of the squad in recent weeks, pointed to a positive prognosis for everyone. Now it seemed The Kip was not such a laughing matter after all, and people were angry that they had been misled into widespread mockery of the subject. Clearly, to be infected with this awful auto-imitation disease was not an hilarious passing condition, but could in fact be a matter of life and death, as Esâ Neá found out to his ultimate cost. Immediately, the government set up a public inquiry, and initiated an advisory campaign to reassure the public that this was not a condition anyone had to worry about as long as they didn’t travel to Gibberish, where the the squad had picked up the illness during their Independent Associations Championship.

To reassure the public that on the whole things were proceeding to plan, the decision was made to send Diego Nores and Alex Gallo home from Camp Kippo to finish their recovery and rehabilitation at home. A positive news campaign was spun around this but was largely met with cynicism and a small amount of anxiety that two Kipolalia sufferers were coming home to the community. There was not a crowd of excited well-wishers waiting at Tapalupé City International Airport to welcome home the two boys as there had been for the rest of the squad, and the Nores & Gallo families were forced to issue statements reassuring the general public that they would be kept at home, indoors, and away from anxious crowds for the foreseeable future.

Great speeches and memorials were made for the late Ssrtskauouoi, a member of the indigenous Uiaiey tribe of Antivador, who despite his young age had already played at every age level for the national team on the left wing, and had won a Liga-TQ title and a Copa Tequilo winners medal in the last two domestic football seasons. At his club, Florentino, they retired his shirt number, 17, and named their training complex after him using the common name most people outside of his ancestral tribe knew him by, calling it Villa Esâ Neá. The Unión (that would be the Tequilo FA to you and me) announced the inauguration of the Esâ Neá Prize to be awarded to the best young player of each future national team campaign and retired his national team shirt number, 23, in perpetuity.

After the speeches and memorials, commemorations and shirt retirements, the next phase would be recriminations, resignations and sackings.

TAPALUPÉ, Tequilo - World Cup qualification moves toward the crunch! Version 87 is going to be one of the most storied in history… and we've got your back for all the latest in the biggest and best competition in the multiverse: let the GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!! Daily take the strain - all your favourite bits, in brief. All this week: Track & Trace… whatever happened to The Class of 72? Rúi de Las Rovas… season three of the famous old comic book strip rebooted. Logistics Report... how to manage a touring football team without picking up any weird viral infections; and of course, we have mail! You can write in too, if you want to - address your fascinating texts to spamcatcher@gola.teq or drop a letter in the mail to PO Box 654353583.2, Grand Central Post Office, Tapalupé¹ But first, El Copametro… how are Los Pitxileros making out in the qualification campaign trail?

THE GHOST OF ZETA REKA PASSED

ZETA REKA HÜGATALDOM 0-3 TEQUILO HT: 0-1

Location: @ Zeta Reka National Sports Complex
Attendance: An even split of Zetans, Rekans and Hugos, and the Ultra-Mariachi Band (8 sombreros+dog)
Scorers: Ecuador 6' 82' Aleixo Claver 47' Assists: Niño Pinto 47' Vilca Hualla 82'
Booked: Arnald Gal, Janko Yakowić | Vilca Hualla
Injured: Huracan (severity 3/20) Huachalla (3/20) Ixtub Tün (1/20) Noxochinoch (3/20)
Tequilo Line-Up: Oscar Bienvenida (VC) | Patrick Zambo, Antton Machinena, Huracan (sub: Noxochinoch), Huachalla (sub: Eolo Sorazar) | Ixtub Tün (sub: Aleixo Claver) | Vilca Hualla (C), Niño Pinto, Tutayan | Tlacolotl, Ecuador
Player of the Match: Antton Machinena (Tequilo)

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MORE MISERABLE HOME FRUSTRATIONS

TEQUILO 0-0 STATE OF TRINITY HT: 0-0

Location: @ Estadio Cuahtémoc; Huayna-Comitán, Guastenango
Attendance: 72,305
Scorers: - Assists: -
Booked: Ixtub Tün, Kai Sidiki
Injured: Oscar Bienvenido (3/20) Tol Chicote (3/20) Tutayan (3/20)
Tequilo Line-Up: Oscar Bienvenida (VC) (sub: Kai Sidiki) | Blêxu, Antton Machinena, Tol Chicote (sub: Vincent Okila), Eolo Sorazar | Ixtub Tün | Vilca Hualla (C), Çenturion, Tutayan (sub: Turbolito) | Tlacolotl, Alexandro Calvoecheaga
Player of the Match: Trinito#5 (State of Trinity) (Tequilo MVP: Tutayan)

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All the good work done in exorcising the ghosts of disappointments past against ZRH and the chance to improve their standing in the qualifying group were undone by Los Pitxileros in a dismal and clueless home draw with the State of Trinity at the Cuahtémoc in Huayna-Comitán, increasing the pressure on national team coach Ramiro Paredo. After all the battling points against top sides in this division, the old problem of complacency crept back into their game and the side were unable to break down the stubborn Trinitos, with fans sarcastically chanting "we want six!" in the last few minutes, referencing the win over Widaya which turned our previous home woes on their head. Not even a single goal winner was forthcoming. Things had been so promising as Tequilo trounced the Zetans and Rekans etc. away from home, Ecuador having his best game of qualifying so far to hit a brace, while at the back the rise and rise of Antton Machinena continues with his first player of the match award.

Keeper Oscar Bienvenida kept another two clean sheets but picked up a knock in the bore-draw against Trinity; he was replaced by ageing debutant Kai Sidiki, a keeper coach Ramiro knows well from his title-winning days at SC Pedregal, and he will turn to him for the upcoming six-pointer at Tikariot, who dropped more points in the last two rounds but continue to head the group. A second six-pointer at Newmanistan follows, and the Agave-Blues know that the almost impossible task of winning both games will likely be required to stay in the hunt for qualification.

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TEQUILO STAT SUMMARY
Competition goals: Tlacolotl (10) Çenturion (5) Ecuador, Ricardo Bailén (4) Roxelio Toran, Vilca Hualla (2) Xaime Medal, Eolo Sorazar, Huracan, José Tavia, Alexandro Calvoecheaga, Huachalla, Aleixo Claver (1)
Competition assists: Çenturion (5) Alexandro Calvoecheaga (4) Vilca Hualla, Ecuador, Tlacolotl, Ricardo Bailén (2) Ixtub Tün, Huracan, Aleixo Claver, Roxelio Toran, Niño Pinto (1)
Competition PoMs: Tlacolotl (4) Eolo Sorazar, Çenturion (2) Huachalla, Blêxu, Huracan, Antton Machinena, Tutayan (1)
Competition cards: Roxelio Toran (1 red card) Ecuador (2 yellows, 1 red) Vilca Hualla, Ixtub Tün, Huachalla, Çenturion, Alexandro Calvoecheaga (3 yellows) Blêxu (2 yellows) Huracan, Tol Chicote, Ricardo Bailén, Jatsu Cañaverri, Niño Pinto, Antton Machinena, Jaïr Iscla, Emmanuel París, Tlacolotl, Pedro Rôa, Ostando Bertendona, Aleixo Claver, Kai Sidiki (1 yellow)

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Confirmed Line-Up for TEQUILO @ Tikariot @ unknown location
Kai Sidiki (VC) | Patrick Zambo, Antton Machinena, Huracan, Huachalla | Ixtub Tün | Vilca Hualla (C), Niño Pinto, Tutayan | Tlacolotl, Ecuador

Probable Line-Up for TEQUILO @ Newmanistan @ The Jungle, Loudon, Newmanistan
Oscar Bienvenida (VC) | Patrick Zambo, Antton Machinena, Huracan, Huachalla | Ixtub Tün | Vilca Hualla (C), Niño Pinto, Tutayan | Tlacolotl, Ecuador

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ON THE ROAD WITH...
The Team Psychologist

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Continuing our series on the logistics team that keep Los Pitxileros playing, we have a chat with team psychologist Valerie Tiburón-Crudo, who’s job it is to keep everyone sane whilst on tour in the multiverse, where there are a million potential pitfalls that could drive your average world-class footballer stark raving banonkers.

“Firstly,” corrects Señora Tiburón-Crudo, “we don’t consider ‘banonkers’ a valid scientific diagnosis of anything, nor is it the approved nomenclature for any form of mental health complaint; and secondly, I’m not here to ‘keep everyone sane’. My job is to spot strengths and weaknesses within a performance psychology perspective, for individuals and the team as a whole; to focus on maintaining those strengths and mitigating weaknesses.”

Can you give us an example?

“Jaïr Iscla was one of our brightest prodigies before being set up for a fall in the Under-18 World Cup in Baker Park, yes? A young woman dives to get a free kick, the ref is fooled and he is sent off. But the young woman accidentally knocks herself out, her dive is so realistic. In order to deflect from suspicions that the team in question are training their young women in balletic dives to gain advantage, a huge storm is whipped up back in the matriarchal society of that country which targets young Jaïr with a lot of online hate - classic trumpism - and unfortunately, poor Jaïr completely loses track of his career for a few years. What do we do about that to help him recover and once more contribute positively to the team?”

And what do you do?

“Well, if Cassadaigua win the Cup of Harmony bid, and we get an invite, we leave him at home. That’s your starter for ten.”

Can we be controversial and ask, what measures are in place to prevent or at the least spot incidents of Kipolalia infection? And have there been any concerns or signs, for that matter?

“Obviously that was an isolated occurence caused by a visit to the Wildelands of Gibberish, it has been completely dealt with and there will be no recurrences. If you wish to ask more about prevention and treatment within the context of Los Pitxileros, I can refer you to the Photocopy Engineers, Señors Minolta and Olivetti, for further details.”

Err, no thanks. That won’t be necessary.

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RÚI DE LOS ROVAS
The famous cartoon strip from a fantasy football world - season 3

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In this edition of your GOLa Daily, fictional comic book legend Rúi Raza, now heading up the Raza player agency at Infantino Towers in Switzerland, is rather embarrassed when his great grand-daughter Rita Raza discovers him secretly entertaining wizened mafia boss Herr Blatter, and she refuses to accept his explanation that it was just a couple of old friends sharing a whiskey and reminiscing about the good old days when a ‘crypto-currency transfer’ meant a wad of used non-sequential notes in a brown paper envelope and a code word, usually crude, to identify who was due a handover. When Rita tries to get rid of the gangster, it becomes apparent from his reluctance that he is hiding from Interpol who are just downstairs turning over the offices of Der Fifa, his criminal organisation who had rather hoped they would find a willing partner in the famously accommodating Swiss government.

While Rúi and Rita argue about ‘Uncle Sepp’ and the bunk bed he’s assembling in the office copyroom, young Rodi Raza-Shearer, great-great grandson of Rúi and also descendent of the World’s Best Analyst Uncle Alan Shearer (successor to Rúi at Blackburn Rovers and his least favourite person) is settling in nicely at his new club, fictional giants Celtic, where he’s learning how to count in base-9 instead of decimals. Like all his new clubmates, he’s finding it tough going.

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NEXT UP
What's coming next with GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLa!!!

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In the next edition of GOLa Extra, we continue our thrilling look back at the Kipolalia Crisis as the national enquiry kicks of a shake-up at The Unión; PLUS! - in the Daily edition look out for more adventures of fictional comic book legend Rúi de Los Rovas, now into his 140s and running the family agency as he tries to find a new home for 'Lionel Messi', the world's greatest ever tax dodger; there will be our regular letters feature; we talk to more of the logistics team in the World Cup squad about how to manage a campaign of double-matchdays; and of course we'll keep you bang up to date with the progress of Los Pitxileros in World Cup 87...

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[1]Or TG Tequilo and we'll be sure to publish you in the next edition of the DAILY!

[Tumbra]

With Five Matches Left, Black Eagles Trip Before Crucial Gauntlet

A crucial win against Valladares was followed by a misstep in Regmotto that sees the Black Eagles holding on to third for dear life with the five hardest matches yet to arrive.

by Jason Hanley

COUNO - With five matches to to determine who finishes where in the World Cup qualifiers, Tumbra finds itself on 23 points - 3rd in the table, but six behind the competition. For a team who just entered the World Cup this cycle, results have been phenomenal, and Marco Hemmings' men pulled off two famous results at Pasarga and against Valladares, earning revenge for their 4-0 thrashing at them. While qualification or the play-offs was always a long shot, wherever the team finishes, they can be proud - and hope for an invite to the upcoming Cup of Harmony.

Four points against the first and third seeds was nothing to sniff at. With the return of Johnny Brown to the team, acting as the team's defensive stabiliser, the team managed to hold out for the full 90 minutes against a Pasargan side whose attacks were relentless and pressed hard against the defence. Brown, however, who only seems to get better with age, was on top of his game on his return after an injury layoff, allowing the Black Eagles to take a crucial point from the encounter.

Back in Couno for the match against Valladares, the team was fired up for revenge against Valladares. It was an ill-tempered affair, with a succession of fouls preventing either team from getting into a rhythm, until Cohen broke the deadlock on the 75th minute. It was a spectacular goal, one that brought the entire Couno Port Arena to its feet as he put the ball past the keeper neatly.

The team, however, on its travel to Regmotto, was kept up the entire night by rancourous Regmottan supporters, leading to a rather muted effort from the Tumbran team. While Herlinger once again linked up with Cohen to deliver two goals - one each, defensive missteps from Keenan, deputising at defensive mid, led to the two goals from the Regmottoan team that the referee seemingly refused to rule out despite seeming offside. Hemmings bemoaned the standard of refereeing after the event, and the loss of two points heading into the last few crucial matches stung, hard.

Tumbra then beat U-Koro 2-1 in a relatively boring match which saw Brown score a header and Cohen a penalty to retain their spot at third, bringing the Tumbran total for eight points in four matches.

THE SO-CALLED "GAUNTLET" - WHAT IS IT?

Group 18 has ben one of the closest groups so far, with the top two teams level on points, then the next five separated by merely four points. Three of Tumbra's last five matches take place against the teams in that group, with one against eighth-placed Garifunya, who themselves have 16 points and are not to be sniffed at. The last match takes place against region mates South Newlandia, which in all likelihood will be a dead rubber.

The match against Hampton Island is of particular importance - beating them 1-0 at home, the team now seeks to repeat that performance away at them. With the team having grown stronger since their last meeting, this match will determine how the team has grown, and whether Tumbra can hold on to third place. A match against the other upstart Bluecliff then awaits, then the team returns to face off against The Gothanita Isles, trying to avenge their earlier 3-0 loss. This is the Gauntlet - five extremely challenging matches that will determine the fate of the team.

The results against Garifunya and Hampton Island should be able to determine whether the team can catch up to the top two teams. Despite the low chance of this happening, the Black Eagles should still hope to gain as many points as possible to get as many ranking points as possible.

[Nephara]

Nephara 1 - 1 Græntfjall
(4-2-3-1) 1 - Provost; 2 - Stride, 5 - Thorn (c), 19 - Clevinger, 3 - Muscadin; 15 - Horvath, 8 - Cromwell (14 - Fletcher 80'); 7 - Koerner, 21 - Moxham, 11 - Ramsey (13 - Belgrade 71'); 9 - Bastable (10 - Lovelace 58')
Goals: Lovelace 64'

Pluvia 0 - 3 Nephara
(4-2-3-1) 1 - Provost; 2 - Stride, 5 - Thorn (c), 19 - Clevinger, 3 - Muscadin; 15 - Horvath, 8 - Cromwell (17 - Mueller 63'); 7 - Koerner (23 - Mrdja 63'), 21 - Moxham, 11 - Ramsey; 9 - Bastable (10 - Lovelace 84')
Goals: Moxham 19', Ramsey 37', Stride 53'

Triffid Ramsey stared at the boulder.
The boulder stared back.
She cleared her throat.
"So... hey, vati. If that really is you. Guess it's been a while."
The boulder neglected to answer her.
Ramsey cleared her throat again. "Been busy, lately. Pretty busy. Uh. Been off in Osarius, you know - a bit off the beaten track now, though I bet that's hard for you to imagine. Unless you've been watching down, or, up, from wherever you are. But I've been doing what you'd want. Winning trophies. Getting that silverware."

... announce that the following youth players have been released from Association Football Club Chenoworth Rovers at the expiry of their contracts:

Meghan CHENOWORTH (Midfielder)
Bruce CLIVERY (Defender)
Morgan HOLTS (Forward)
Randolf MARGETTS (Goalkeeper)
Triffid RAMSEY (Defender)
Kenneth SAUNDERS (Forward)
Lorcan VOURVOULIAS (Forward)

The Club wish to thank these players for their service and wish them the best in their future endeavours ...

"Look, I'll be honest." She licked her lips. "Being your daughter... hasn't been easy. We built a really good society, one that doesn't do nepotism. You know, kinda killed everyone who wanted to build a government based on nepotism, that's sort of how Nephara got its start. Anyway, look, the point-- the point is, people always dismissed me on these shores. Pushed me down as if I was ever, meaningfully, being pushed up. Had to go to Schottia to win there. Had to go to Osarius. Hell, your grand-daughter still sounds Schottic. Still is Schottic, really, she's... a strong girl, self-sufficient. You'd like her, I think. She's doing okay here in Nephara without me, the, uh... fuck, phoning her to call her up's the first time in months I've..."
She hesitated.
"Fuck, well, I know where I got the emotional distance from."
The boulder continued its resolute silence.

THE BRINEMOUTH HERALD
RAMSEY'S DAUGHTER FINDS UNLIKELY PATH TO SUCCESS IN MPL
Paige Galleon

The rumour had it that Gethin Ramsey's daughter, Triffid, simply hadn't made the grade as a player. Released from the Chenoworth Rovers system after a series of middling-successful loans in the lower leagues, she seemed to disappear from the map entirely. Only those monitoring the most crunchy of sites will have noticed her move to Augustinople Saints of the third tier of the fledgeling Multiverse Premier League, and they will not have been impressed.

There, in a squad of misfits including several fringe Pravenna internationals and a star striker, Theo Michaels, with won two league appearances for Sabrefell Athletic under his belt, she has managed to impress playing every minute at leftback and been abruptly picked up by Cornellians, at the top tier of the MPL and arguably the biggest club in the league, one with serious ambitions ...

"Point is, right, people are saying you've put a curse on the national team because some hick from Starling punched you in the face. That sounds like bullshit, probably 'cause it is, yeah, but. Look. Uhm. Just... just fucking stop it, okay? Stop the curse. I'm not gonna fucking have it. Already I got doubters saying I'm underqualified because they haven't been seeing how shit's gone down in Osarius, where I'm basically the goddamn queen of Alissar. You know what I need to shut 'em up, I know you do, I know what you'd tell me. I need to win. And you know what, I actually needed that win five days ago, so, uh, thanks for dogging me like that. Thanks a fucking lot, vati. I can only make you proud if you let me."
A minute of silence passed, before Ramsey shook her head, softly.
"I'm talking to a fucking rock."
Catherine Sedgwick glided in. Ramsey had insisted on bringing in a new team, sweeping out the old wood for the new, and she knew she'd need a serious authority to be her assistant. Someone with experience playing and managing in Nephara, and for that matter playing for the Cormorants; everything she herself lacked. It was strange that Sedgwick had always had something of a reputation as an airhead given she'd turned out to be practically a tactical savant.
"You are," answered Sedgwick, cheerfully enough with her vacantly fey smile.
"Yeah, maybe I am, but it's cathartic." Ramsey looked back at her, rubbing her hands together. "The lads are all together?"
"They are, boss."
"Good. Want to kick some arse without going out of my way to find it."

... elephant in the room, Ramsey cuts me off with a laugh, so very assured for a teenager.
"People ask me this all the time, I take it as a good sign. But really, I don't see myself as Nepharan at all. My blood is Schottic, I was born in Schottia, I've been raised in Schottia. Nephara's where I went to school for the last couple years, where my job is, where I train. Where my mutti's from."
I ask her if that's how she keeps them straight. Pun unintended.
"Yeah, Harriet's mum, Triff's mutti, my biological parents are, well, I was like two. It's not like I remember them at all. But yeah, when the call came in from the Schottia U21s I accepted that without a second thought ..."

Triff Ramsey threw open the door.
Not for the first time, Roxelana Thorn was taken aback by how little she resembled her father, who would always be remembered as the battered, tanned bulldog with his nose broken three times and only ever seen in the slightly poor, washed-out footage of the time. You had to look deeper. Roll back the damage to the nose and perhaps it was as long and proud as Triffid's; slim him down and you might get the same strong jawline. The hair was her own mother's auburn, the wrong colour entirely, but even the choice of a short, almost Spartan cut was reminiscent. And of course, though entirely coincidental, there was a penchant for drab, slate-grey longcoats. Manager, not coach. Boss, not trainer. The Nepharim may have killed their kings, but absolute rule still lived on in dressing rooms around the country.
"Right." Ramsey cleared her throat, and the buzz died down. "One win in seven. Fucking pathetic, honestly. I don't want no damn excuses, I don't want no damn silver linings. But I still look at the same eleven as last time, pick over each and every one of 'em and still think, 'yeah, this is the best we got. This is the best chance at a win I can get from the parts available'. My mind's still got room to change. Anything but a win, a convincing one. I want this tie dead by half-time, i don't want any hope in those goddamn home stands, I don't want a single journalist typing up about a big upset or how a giant's fallen or sleeping or... whatever, I don't want this to be interesting, not fucking remotely. We go out there, we bury 'em. If you can manage to play at 40% of your worth you'll do that. Fail and I'll find some mouth-breather from the First Division just grateful to be licking my fucking boot. And you know what I bet, if I did that, I bet we'd start winning again. Your careers need this more than mine does, believe me. Now go out there and get it."

Two hours later, Nephara had their second straight away win. Four more from five would probably be enough. Not enough to satisfy anyone with a trainwreck of a qualification campaign, one that had seen arguably the greatest Cormorants manager of all time throw herself in her sword, but enough to do the most basic and vital thing: survive.

NEPHARAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 8
Goalkeepers: 1 - Aranea Provost (Holdenberg, EUR), 12 - Raluca Garamond (Sabrefell Athletic), 20 - Alexandra Markgraf (Sabrefell Moths)
Defenders: 2 - Rovena Stride (AFC Treason), 3 - Vivica Muscadin (Sabrefell Moths), 5 - Roxelana Thorn (Revolutionaries, EUR, c), 6 - Reniira Clevinger (Sabrefell Athletic), 18 - Pristina Soeringer (Stein-los Turkish, PAS), 19 - Miska Brabanzon (Sabrefell Moths), 22 - Radeka Lind (Vermillion Rage)
Midfielders: 4 - Tawny Shone (Brinemouth), 7 - Anselm Koerner (1830 Cathair, AUD), 8 - Lothaire Cromwell (AC Izotz Zubia, AUD), 11 - Kendra Ramsey (AFC Treason), 13 - Ysabet Belgrade (Sabrefell Moths), 14 - Exene Fletcher (Hellinic Rouge, PAS), 15 - Rashica Horvath (La Nueva Avenida, FFD), 17 - Ilia Mueller (AFC Treason), 21 - Chimera Moxham (Spartangrad, EUR), 23 - Traudl Mrdja (Vermillion Rage)
Forwards: 9 - Kurtis Bastable (Ulsa, EUR), 10 - Konrad Lovelace (Revolutionaries, EUR), 16 - Latona Basilisk (Mâ Âlâmëómë, FFD)

SCHEDULE
Baggieland 2 - 3 Nephara
Nephara 4 - 1 Quemorr Isles @ The Iron Hill (Vermillion)
Græntfjall 0 - 1 Nephara
Nephara 2 - 0 Pluvia @ Ludd's Hammer (Stahlburg)
Garbelia 2 - 4 - Nephara
Nephara 2 - 3 Kandorith @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
South Covello 1 - 1 Nephara
Sett Forest 2 - 0 Nephara
Nephara 1 - 1 Indusse @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
Nephara 2 - 2 Baggieland @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Quemorr Isles 2 - 3 Nephara
Nephara 1 - 1 Græntfjall @ Phoenix Rise (Corvistone)
Pluvia 0 - 3 Nephara
Nephara vs. Garbelia @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)
Kandorith vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. South Covello @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)
Nephara vs. Sett Forest @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Indusse vs. Nephara

[Chartistan]

With Chartistan all but eliminated from World Cup qualification, the "Olisa Rodgers era" of Chartistani football, which lasted for 2 matches while star striker Mama Coriel was injured after the Saint-Domingue game, didn't produce anything of note. With Chartistan bouncing back from their slump with a 7-2 beatdown of Hafamarimet, however, someone was bound to do the talking to the young starlet about her performances.

---

Dear Olisa,

I hate to break this to you while you're busy coping with scoring no goals for the national team while you captained them by Doctor Lucas's request, but you did nothing to "enhance" this Chartistan national team when Mama was gone. Mama provided the team with so much hope before Saint-Domingue, and when you were axed by Combbrush for her, she let the team score SEVEN. You could have scored 7 outside of the national team, but it is hard when the only thing you write about was that "blonde girl" who wanted to steal a spot away from you. That girl was me, and if it wasn't for you trickling into the Chartistani national team, I could have done more.

Yeah, you were trying to get under my skin when you were called up. All of that hard work and heartbreak only for you to snatch the role away from me. It didn't work. The whole nation saw you bumble around and flop like a fish when you got on goal. Even Ivan Door couldn't do nothing, heck, Tatertot Crazy scored the only goal during that period against Abanhfleft! Just 1 goal for 180 minutes of "work". Alright, I know, you played Abanhfleft and Netop, so I'll cut you some slack. But then again, once Mama Coriel came back, she ended up having the team score 7 goals in a single game. You wouldn't even get 5 in if you were in that game!

But Olisa, I hope we can just laugh it off when we're both in the national team, hopefully at the Cup of Harmony. Whether or not that will happen will be up to you and Combbrush to decide... But at the end of the day, I was under the spotlight you were on for those 2 losses. Don't you forget it, girl. But just in case, don't let this letter drive you insane. We all have reasons to improve deep inside us, and hopefully, when and if you get called up again, you can respond as best as you can. You won't always receive these letters, I know... But you know you can improve. When you get to the Cup of Harmony, try to do just that, okay?

Good luck,
Sarah Corduroy

[Barunia]

After his humiliation on the field, Emmanuel seemed to hit a form slump. While he increased his efforts to be the best, his performance in the drills and games at the Youth Camp were actually dropping. He couldn’t focus, and everything he tried went wrong. Something needed to change, and fast
.
Thankfully for him, the camp psychologist told him he had to go home. To Emmanuel, that seemed like the first thing he could do. It felt like giving up, admitting he wasn’t strong enough. But the psychologist was adamant. He needed to take two weeks off and go home. Break his routine, clear his head, and be supported by his family and friends. So Emmanuel found himself on the long journey back to Delmars, this time by road, rail, and ferry. It was a long journey for a 15 year old to undertake on his own, especially when he didn’t want to go, and Emmanuel hated every single minute. But it was good to see his family again, and it was good to be able to relax. Emmanuel also felt useless. There were no exercise routines or drills to run, no upcoming matches to focus on. He had nothing to do. He also missed his friends at camp, especially Kate. Things had moved on between them, to the point where they were now a couple. She was perhaps another distraction for him, but one that he didn’t mind. Without that distraction though, or the need to impress coaches all day, he found he had time for introspection. Emmanuel began to realise he was trying too hard to be perfect, to get into the game. He just had to let his talent flow naturally.

The psychologist was right. The break did wonders to clear his head. When he returned, it was with a new focus. Suddenly everything clicked.

[Waisnor]

One revenge is done, another isn't

After 3 consecutive wins, Waisnorian fans really wanted to avenge their defeats from Twicetagria and Red Kelp, especially first after Waisnor was thrashed with a score of 0-5. Waisnorian team was able to take revenge from only one team, and the second - not really:

Waisnorian team went pretty motivated to the match with Twicetagria, players clearly wanted to win this match. Waisnor quickly took the initiative in the match and started carrying out attacks. However, Twicetagria is still pretty strong opponent and they resisted this attacks. Also, they launched their attacks, which were sometimes sharper than attacks of Waisnorian attacks.
In the end, one of Waisnorian attacks ended with a goal - on the 21st minute Timur Skvortsov was able to go one on one with the team goalkeeper, Rudolph Haniet, and was able to beat him, scoring a goal in the lower corner of the goal.
Next Waisnorian team wanted for this result to stay the same mostly, which was expressed in strengthening the defense, however, the team did not forget about the attacks. Twicetagrian team still was pushing on the goal of Dmitry Samoilov, but for the time being he was able not to concede goals.
First half ended with Waisnor being the leaders, and second half started with Twicetagria taking the lead in play. The attacks of this team became more frequent, and Waisnorian team was now more focused on keeping the goal safe.
However, Waisnorian leadership could not last long with such pressure - on the 74th minute Eli Apollon earned a penalty for his team and he quietly realized it, comparing the score.
After this Waisnorian team was choosing between two options - either it would try to regain the advantage, or it would aim to take at least one point. While Waisnorian team was confused, Twicetagrian team started to pressure even more and soon scored second goal - on 82nd minute Tengretz Aidor quickly bypassed Waisnorian defence and scored in the right corner, scoring last goal in this match and securing victory for Twicetagria.

After this defeat Waisnor faced Red Kelp, which is less powerful opponent than Twicetagria. However, mistakes of last match were taken into account and by the next match the team came out in very good condition.
Waisnor quickly took the initiative in this match and began to conduct mostly rather sharp attacks. At the 16th minute, this tactic was already bearing fruit - Prokhor Golovnov, after a pass from a corner, hit the goal with a roundhouse and made the score 1-0.
Red Kelp didn’t look like it was going to attack in order to level the score. This is exactly what Waisnor needed to continue leading in this match. Hosts of this meeting continues to have attacks, and on 34th minute Timur Skvortsov scored is second match in a row, shooting from outside the penalty area.
The teams went on a break with a score of 2-0 in Waisnor's favour. The second half was not very different from the first, but Red Kelp team seemed pretty ouf of focus. On the 57th minute third goal was scored - Vitaly Butin scored the ball with a powerful free-kick.
After the third goal Red Kelp team completely limp and sad, and Waisnorian team decided to finish them with the last goal - at the 68th minute Vitaly Butin scored a double thanks to the successful passing of defenders and an accurate shot at the bottom corner of the goal.

After this victory Waisnor landed on 6th place in the group with 17 points, having very little chances advancing to the next stage.

Team for a matches with Sulsuland and Maccian
Dmitry Samoilov
David Shavlokhov
Nikolay Vaneev
Alexey Tiunov
Arseny Bratkov
Timur Skvortsov
Anatoly Makovsky
Arthur Shuteyko
Prokhor Golovnov
Vitaly Butin
Alexey Bolotov

[Graintfjall]

Posted on StatsPunk, a soccermetric-themed sports blog that sharply divides opinion when it comes to questions of xG weightings, positional rankings, and capitalization.

Most Popular Foreign Clubs In Græntfjall

Part two of our rankings series. The players’ one was dominated by Græntfjaller players, with some fairly mid-level plodders ranking higher than the world’s greatest stars purely because they were born here, but in this survey, only foreign clubs are featured. (Whether or not this is an editorial decision to avoid choosing between Gunzlach and Steinaux and thereby immediately losing 50% of our domestic web traffic (oh, alright, 49%, Altendalur fans), we can’t say.)

The metric once combines shirt and other merchandise sales, social media follows and mentions, and aggregated fan polls. Once again, it reflects Græntfjaller prejudices and biases and doesn’t offer any kind of global picture.

Busembe Timberwolves

This one is easy enough: the country’s most famous and popular player, Jason Þórhallursson, plays for the Timberwolves (that shared ‘wolf’ symbolism helps, too). Of course, a few Gunzlach fans were disgruntled at seeing him leave, while the conservative, Catholic, painfully white population aren’t always at ease with some aspects of Banijans society. But still, sales of Busembe Timberwolves merchandise went through the roof once Þórhallursson signed for them, staking out a potent secondary fanbase for the S-FPL team in the icy heart of Rushmore. The same effect was largely not true of Old Boys Club, which signed Amanda Guttisdóttir, because they weren’t that good (and duly got relegated) and many Græntfjallers already supported Euran clubs such as Directus and Ulsa.

Fort Viljan Northern FC

Choosing a Tikariot team is almost cheating. Many Græntfjallers consider the TPL a superior product to their own GPL and venture over the mountains to watch games. Fort Viljan, based in the province that’s been cheekily nicknamed ‘Southwest Græntfjall’, naturally attract the biggest crowds. Most other teams have followers, too, particularly Parakleion Firebirds (for their historic success and more recent signing of NT player Hlégestur Snæþórsson), Emerald Coast Raiders (who until recently had a number of Græntfjallers on their roster) and Oriannor Mountaineers (because Græntfjallers identify strongly as a ‘mountain people’ and look to support similar).

1830 Cathair / Northern Union / Directus

Deeply felt cultural links are great… but there’s also nothing wrong with a little blatant glory hunting, right?

SW Stahlberg / FC St Jakob / Olympia Borograd

The Republikaliga is one of the most popular foreign leagues in Græntfjall thanks to the high quality of coverage, not to mention the great product on the pitch. In terms of individual teams, it’s broadly a three-way tie. SW Stahlberg’s mountain base reminds Græntfjallers of their own mountain sports clubs traditions (even if most modern Græntfjaller teams are based in the flat north) and have received a significant boost in popularity, probably pushing them over the edge, by signing NT center back Tom Ernestisson. St Jakob is, of course, the patron saint of Græntfjall, and it’s taken Græntfjallers (known for their largeness, not their large brainness) a while to figure out this was a completely different St Jakob. As for Olympia Borograd, their general popularity and history, green colors, and signing of Tequiloan player Ixtub Tun (almost inexplicably popular in Græntfjall) has endeared them to many in the Queendom.

St. John’s Arsenal / Arsenal de Releinthi

Græntfjall and Quebec don’t have a massive club footballing history, although a couple of young Quebecois prospects recently arrived to play in the GPL. In international football, it was Quebec who knocked out Græntfjall from qualifying for World Cup 86. That proved awkward for some Gunzlach fans who had to quietly hide their St. John’s Arsenal merchandise until tensions had simmered down. The attraction is simple: Gunzlach are based at the former Royal Arsenal, identify as “the Gunners”, and are the most (or second-most! -Ed.) popular team in the country. Therefore any other ‘Arsenal’ clubs have their share of sympaticos. This extends to Arsenal de Releinthi in Abanhfleft too, though to a little lesser extent as Græntfjall and Abanhfleft share even fewer footballing links.

Brinemouth

The Nepharan Zenith may be the most popular foreign league of all in Græntfjall. And naturally just about every team has its supporters, from fairweather ‘fans’ trailing AFC Treason and Crisisbless (not to be confused with the weirdos who support Crisisbless United, almost all based in Altendalur, whose team shares a similar Chessmen/Chequers theme), to hipsters trying to impress with their obscurantist knowledge of some third-division side. But the biggest single team is probably Brinemouth. The blue colors closely match Græntfjaller Blue, the Dockers’ identity is a good fit for a country built around major trading and whaling ports, and it helps that they’re pretty damn good.

Maal Dæmons

Oh, for them you break out the æ key, huh IFCF? Brutes! Fascists! Cultural imperialists!

Ahem. Typographical passions aside (or else this list would be full of Farf clubs…) Græntfjall and Mriin don’t have the deepest cultural links but their people have evoked a certain fascination in the human-only country.

Haïtiens / Atlás Ciuredor

Liga-TQ is another very popular foreign league in Græntfjall. There’s a bit of exoticization going on, with the frosty, conservative, snowbound plodders fascinated by the creativity, flair, and panache on show both in the football and media coverage of the league. The presence, albeit only at youth-team level, of a Græntfjaller player on the Atlás Ciuredor roster has tipped them into pole position of popularity selling seashells on the seashore, but Haïtiens aren’t far behind. In the latter case, it’s questionable how authentic that support is: they’re owned by the same multinational as Græntfjaller club Molding, and GT may be engaging in a bit of astroturfing in order to boost up their footballing empire.

Nangang Royals

Bonus points for being a team in a league that isn’t even obviously in operation right now. But the Royals produced Græntfjall’s current NT manager, while being associated – perhaps erroneously; the average Græntfjaller soccer ultra doesn’t necessarily have a completely solid grasp of contemporary Yuezhuese political geography – with the anti-Yincheng (and thus, to Græntfjaller eyes, anti-communist) faction.

Samurai Cop FC

Look, they may not be the best team in the world, and it may be difficult to explain to any rational being why there are significantly more Græntfjallers who support a team from the non-IFCF, non-WCC Starcom Racing league than there are supporting Raynor City or Jungle Strike. But just go with it. It makes more sense than the plot of Samurai Cop.

[TJUN-ia]

OOC: Anyone mentioned for Nacaltora is based on their roster for CR36

---

By Peter Davis

After extending our unbeaten run to 6 games with our 3rd win in a row, David Seems' Jags found themselves in No Man's Land - 4 points back on leaders Cassadaigua but 5 points ahead of Acronius and the rest of the chasing pack. It's defiantly a good position to be in at this point, but everyone knew we shouldn't book our tickets to the playoffs just yet. Anything can happen in 7 games and when you have back-to-back games against unpredictable and unranked opposition, you know things are about to go down.

First up was a trip to poor Nacaltora, a nation that hasn't enjoyed their return to WCC action by any stretch of the imagination. After 11 games, they had failed to score a single point and had only scored 5 goals total before the matchup against the Jags. TJUN-ia is a kind nation most of the time and if you consider only winning by 2 goals to be kind, then that streak continued against this poor team. We only scored 2 goals in the first half, both from the generous Vladimir Podolov in the 34th and 38th minutes respectively, and only 1 in the 2nd - from Leighton Labe of all people, heading in a 67th-minute corner to make it 3-0. After that, we put ou foot off the gas and allowed our hosts some good time with the ball which they used to score their 6th goal of the campaign, Raymond Carels finishing off some good team play in the 87th. Nonetheless, the points were TJUN-ia's but at least we gave Nacaltora something to celebrate in a campaign which has seen them suffer so much so far.

After that, the Tiankong Stadium hosted its final game of WC87 as 8th-placed Central Shaneville came to town. A nation who has actually been respectable as an unranked team, Jay Bucks' side were looking to give their fans something to be excited for as they looked towards the future - and they certainly did that today. This game was a back and forth affair with 7 goals to send off Tiankong for this tournament. It began with a slow first half wich saw TJUN-ia take a lead they wouldn't give up, Peliniho with the final touch on 10 minutes. Then the 2nd half arrived and suddenly, everything went mad. Substitute Taylor Anderson (56') and David Vujanic (58') combined for 2 goals in two minutes and suddenly, the Jags were 2 goals down. We responded just as quickly, substitute Mohammad Malsharma scoring twice himself (60' and 64') to regain the lead at 3-2 - but we weren't done there. Sam Wray equalised for the visitors in the 69th (nice) only for David Johnson to restore the lead once more in the 75th. CS had one final goal as Taylor Anderson got a 2nd in the 78th to make it 4-4 but Pedro Vasquez was secure the win in 84th, ending this remarkable contest in the CEA capital. In the end, everyone won - TJUN-ia got the 3 points, Central Shaneville looked brilliant in defeat and Tiankong became the first host of WC football to win all of their games in a single campaign. Just when you think Tiankong isn't cocky enough, it's gonna get even worse from here.

Chaos had descended on the WCC. Xanneria now hold the 3rd Interim belt, Siovanija and Teusland had the lineal belt back and maybe, just maybe, TJUN-ia can start to believe that they will make the top 2 once again. Ever since that 2-0 loss to Cassie in TJUN-ia City, the Blue and Orange, the supposed DrawMasters, have only lost points once - a 1-1 draw in Havynwilde. We've not lost in 8 games and with a 7 point lead over the Busoga Islands, everyone is starting to take note of these Jaguars. We are the 18th best team in world football right now if you combined all the groups together. We're the 4th best 2nd-placed team in the tournament, only behind old friend Chromatika on goal difference. Yes, you heard that right. TJUN-ia is so hot right now that we may not even need to win this group to qualify for the pantheon itself. What is this team, because I can't believe for a second that this is a TJUN-ian team. I mean, after WBC50, I probably should've known that the rest of the sports would catch up but...now?

Despite everything going in our favour so far, the next 2 games may decide how good we really are. It's two big games against the top 2 seeds in the group with everything on the line. We travel to Concord Heights to visit the Dagans in a game that will most likely decide this group and then, Flavovespia enter Szensky as the CSTO capital looks to join the CEA in the 3-0-0 club. These 2 games will decide how good this team is right now. Are we a team that is on fire, but can be snuffed out by the big guys? Or are we a team on a definite rise, a team that can tango with the best of them and take points from them? I guess we'll see soon...GO JAGS!

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SCHEDULE (Group 3) - lines indicate when next edition of Boot It! will be released
MD1: vs Busoga Islands (79) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City L 1-3 (T-9th)
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MD2: @Hispinas (315) W 5-1 (7th)
MD3: vs Nacaltora (UR) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky W 4-0 (4th)
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MD4: @Central Shaneville (UR) - Red Bull Arena, Shaneville City W 3-1 (3rd)
MD5: vs Cassadaigua (4) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City L 0-2 (4th)
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MD6: @Flavovespia (41) - Highland Road, Hadford Hill W 1-0 (3rd)
MD7: vs Muralos (259) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong W 5-4 (2nd)
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MD8: @Havynwilde (126) - Uvenstadion Superparc, Iyes D 1-1 (3rd)
MD9: vs Acronius (100) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky W 3-2 (2nd/6W-1D-2L/19pts/+9GD)
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MD10: @Busoga Islands (79) - The Dukuma Oval, Dukuma, North Island W 2-1 (2nd)
MD11: vs Hispinas (315) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong W 2-0 (2nd)
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MD12: @Nacaltora (UR) W 3-1 (2nd)
MD13: vs Central Shaneville (UR) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong W 4-3 (2nd)
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MD14: @Cassadaigua (4) - Dagan Airways Stadium, Concord Heights
MD15: vs Flavovespia (41) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky
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MD16: @Muralos (259) - Komcatt Arena, Urbego (?)
MD17: vs Havynwilde (126) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
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MD18: @Acronius (100) - Atlas Arena, Defense

[Lorrana]

Match Overview: The Grearish Union 1-5 Lorrana

14' | Lorrana GOAL! Movimor Imep (#22) heads the goal in after a cleverly taken corner kick
23' | Lorrana GOAL! Lorrana gain a free kick from just outside the box. Midfielder Vess Vador (#8) passes it to Kiyon (#10) who taps it in
41' | Grearish Union GOAL! A Grearish Union striker is able to capitalize on a 2-on-1 situation.
45' | HALF-TIME
46' | Lorrana SUBSTITUTION - Olisati (#5) comes off for Miti'ik Lera (#2)
51' | Grearish Union YELLOW CARD - A handball from a Grearish Union defender inside the box earns him a yellow card
51' | Lorrana PENALTY KICK - A Grearish Union defender commits a handball inside the box
52' | Lorrana GOAL - Berd Ravilu (#9) drives the ball into the bottom left corner, making the score 1-3
64' | Lorrana GOAL - Em'du Em'kava (#4)'s corner kick is headed by a Grearish Union defender into his own goal!
77' | Lorrana YELLOW CARD - Andeani Cara'a (#14) is given a yellow card after a sloppy foul
81' | Lorrana GOAL - After a defensive mistake by Grearish Union, Lorrana striker Sidar va Daledi (#11) hammers the ball from 20 yards away past the stunned Grearish Union goalkeeper
90+3 | FULL TIME! Lorrana get their third win of the tournament!

Match Overview: Lorrana 0-4 Starblaydia

23' | Starblaydia GOAL! Rising talent Friederika Lee takes advantage of a counter attack and neatly finishes into the net.
29' | Lorrana YELLOW CARD - Defender Eviso Ilod (#19) slide tackles Starblaydian midfielder Hayden Shepherd and earns a yellow card
30' | Starblaydia GOAL! Forward Lucian Damocles curves the ball over the wall on a free kick and scores!
37' | Starblaydia SUBSTITUTION - Omar Al Qubaisi is lightly injured and comes off for Layla Cellaeron
41' | Lorrana OFFSIDE - It looked like a goal, but VAR found that it was offside
45+2' | HALF-TIME
56' | Lorrana SUBSTITUTION | Movimor Imep (#22) comes on for Azi Baddim (#15)
69' | Starblaydia GOAL! Betanni Jetvanna heads it in after a well-placed cross from Claire Stephenson
89' | Starblaydia GOAL! Lucian Damocles scores again with a run from the midfield and shot from just outside the box
90+2' | FULL TIME! It is officially impossible for Lorrana to qualify for the final tournament, though they may be invited to the Cup of Harmony depending on other circumstances

Current Group 12 Standings

Group 12                                Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Starblaydia                           13   10   2   1    42   16  +26    32
 2 Equestria                             13    9   3   1    38   19  +19    30
 3 Omerica                               13    8   4   1    31   18  +13    28
 4 Darkmania                             13    6   4   3    31   25   +6    22
 5 Yuezhou                               13    6   3   4    22   20   +2    21
 6 Transvolcanic                         13    5   1   7    23   33  −10    16
 7 Beepee                                13    3   5   5    20   26   −6    14
 8 Lorrana                               13    3   1   9    26   32   −6    10
 9 The Grearish Union                    13    2   2   9    14   29  −15     8
10 Mexi Catcha                           13    0   1  12    10   39  −29     1

[Yue Zhou]

JOURNEY TO THE SOUTH
1. Chen Xiaozhu
2. Liao Weizhe
3. Chen Xiaozhu
4. Liao Weizhe
5. Chen Xiaozhu

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6. Liao Weizhe
Chaoyue District
Nangang City, Nanhai Province, Yuezhou

As we pulled into Nangang City later that night and disembarked, the mood in the party was overwhelmingly optimistic. Sure, we had yet to even meet Zheng Zhoulun or anyone in his government, but we had at least made it to Nangang. Everything we could do, we had done - but as they say, plans are for men, results are for Heaven. Things were looking up on the home front as well - the Revolution was rapidly making process, having taken multiple cities in Beiyun for ourselves. Back then, it really felt like the next era of Yuezhou was coming - one defined by the people, by liberal democracy, by the future. The mood in Nanhai was similarly cheery. Recent conquests in Jiangdong and even Shimen had pushed the National People’s Revolutionary Committee all the way back to Yincheng. Compared to the war-torn Jiangdong, the atmosphere was festive and carefree in long-recaptured Nangang, and all around us was the bustle and chatter of those who had gone through some tough times, but had undeniably made it through.

Before we were all shot down to Earth together, though, I experienced my own crisis first. As we got ourselves settled in our accommodations, Jia Wanghui pulled me aside. I don’t know why he chose me - we’d spoken a few times about football, and maybe in hindsight it was about that, but otherwise there didn’t seem to be any sort of rhyme or reason to it. Maybe it was just an extension of his lack of street smarts. In the past few days, it’d become pretty clear that he wasn’t particularly used to travel, from his repeated seasickness on our motorboat to his asking why we kept having to refuel. In any case, he pulled me aside and whispered harshly that I couldn’t let him stay in Nangang.

I asked why not - after all, I still thought he was a politician’s son that we were bringing back home from captivity. It seemed like the natural destination for him. He then proceeded to explain to me that he was actually Wang Jiahui. He paused after that, as to allow for time to respond. I didn’t actually know who he was at the time, which seriously deflated his previously conspiratorial mood. As it turned out, my failure to seriously keep up with Yue football over my college and revolutionary years had really ended up costing us. Wang Jiahui explained that he had been a star striker for Yincheng Capitals and a backup for Yuezhou’s national team before “those NPRC bastards” had taken it all away from him - as well as his freedom.
He’d spent the past weeks in a series of increasingly northern, increasingly heavily-guarded military hospitals due to a concussion he’d suffered in Nanhai fighting off southern separatists for the Ren Qiang government, officially listed as a patient but unofficially a prisoner of war. After a few weeks enduring increasingly violent, impulsive YFA leadership under the military coup, he realized his only chance of seeing the outside world again had been to break out of the military hospital and make a run for it.

And that was exactly what he’d done, until he ran into us on the side of the road. In what was a cruel twist of irony, we had brought him back to Nangang, where his journey from footballing and political superstar to nameless prisoner had begun. “People are going to recognize me here,” he’d said panickedly, all his earlier bravado gone. “And then you’re all fucked, too, for bringing me into the city. You think Zheng Zhoulun will still want to see you?” He hadn’t taken kindly to my insinuation that Zheng Zhoulun would have no idea who he was, but I agreed that it would be best if he left Nangang, and untied him.

As I was doing so, though, another thought struck me. Maybe circumspect, mysterious politician’s son Jia Wanghui could scrape his way out of Nangang despite his lack of experience, but the brash celebrity portrait that Wang Jiahui had painted of himself wasn’t going to last five minutes in this city. And that thought led to another, even worse one - if I accepted that Wang Jiahui had to get out of the city for the good of our mission, then I would have to go with him.

The execution of our plan? Well, that was simple enough. I untied him, we made sure nobody else was watching, and then we fucking ran for it.

Yuezhou 1–0 Lorrana
Starting Lineup: Ruo; Kang (Yao 60'), Ren, Han, Zhu; Yang, Guo; Liu (Li Keqiang 54'), Li Jing, Gu (C); Yu (Huang 66')
Goals: Yu 35'
Yuezhou 1–0 Darkmania
Starting Lineup: Ruo; Kang (Yao 71'), Ren, Han, Zhu; Yang, Guo; Li Jing, Wen (Tao 55'), Gu (C); Huang (Yu 62')
Goals: Wen 26'
Mexi Catcha 0–1 Yuezhou
Starting Lineup: Ruo; Kang, Zhu Mingxia, Han, Zhu Aiguo; Yang, Chen (Reeve 64'); Li Jing, Wen, Gu (C) (Tao 67'); Liu (Yu 80')
Goals: Yang 59'
Yuezhou 3–1 The Grearish Union
Starting Lineup: Ruo; Kang, Yao, Han, Reeve (Zhu 51'); Chen, Guo; Li Jing (Li Keqiang 64'), Tao (Wen 67'), Gu (C); Huang
Goals: Gu 13', Guo 45+2', Tao 63'

Four games, four wins, just one goal conceded - it's early, and the biggest tests are still to come, but it's really looking like Lu Jialan has turned the Red Dragons around. The defensive-minded manager has experimented with a variety of ways to promote stability at the back in his first four matches, with the likes of Yao Wenyan, Zhu Mingxia, and Diadora Reeve all getting looks at their respective positions. There's also been more of a focus on pressing in who he selects up front, with Li Keqiang, Tao Beiliang, and Li Jing all getting their chances in the front four, and some experimentation with Liu Huiying as a sort of false-nine. Overall, though, the biggest change has been in the mentality Lu has tried to instill. The focus is on relentless pressing, dropping back into a low block, and absolutely no frills on the counterattacks - sort of an über-Yuan Zilai style. And in the first three matches, it repeatedly got the job done - Yuezhou would, time and time again, strike once on a counterattack and defend relentlessly for the other eighty-nine minutes of the match, often with a flurry of defensive-minded substitutions to support that. The fourth match, a nice 3-1 win over the Grearish Union, was more open as Lu experimented with a new-look back four, but although Grearia struck first, two Yue goals restored the lead, and the Red Dragons were much more controlled in the second half en route to a 3-1 win.

MD5 lineup (@Starblaydia): Ruo; Yao, Ren, Han, Zhu; Yang, Guo; Li Jing, Wen, Gu (C); Huang
MD6 lineup (v Transvolcanic): Ruo; Kang, Ren, Han, Zhu; Chen, Yang; Liu, Wen, Gu (C); Huang