The Milford’s Milkshakes 400
“No,” Amanda replied. “We have never altered or tampered the fuel we use. Period.”
In a different week, Team Blue would have been excited to compete in Cassadaigua for the NSSCRA race, the Milford’s Milkshakes 400. Drake Stevenson would have fired off a wisecrack about how “my milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard”, and Taylor Henderson probably would have jokingly chastised him, while Frank Bronson, under pressure to get in the field without a charter, would have kept his head down and focused primarily on qualifying for the race. But none of the three – and in fact, nobody from Team Blue – were in a particularly positive mood.
That’s because of a recent writeup in the Hapilopper City Herald from a man who used the pen name “Hap O’Loppa,” which accused Team Blue of doing something rather illegal with its fuel. Supposedly, the team had put a special device inside its fuel filler cans that would blend a special, exotic material into the fuel before the fuel was added to the car during pitstops. As a result, the altered fuel would provide the team with an extra 40-50 horsepower. The team was curious who would spread such a rumor to the media.
“Well, first off, you know and I know that’s bullshit,” Frank said over lunch at the Team Blue Center. “I have no earthly idea who this ‘Hap O’Loppa’ is. All he does is spread falsehoods about people and people lap it up. He’s kind of like that Lee Iyokoka guy from Xanneria. You know the one, right?”
“Yeah,” Drake replied, twirling some pasta around with a fork. “But I wonder if someone was telling him stuff. Anyone you know that left the team lately and wanted to burn a bridge?”
Frank thought about it for a second, stared at his lunch, and then looked right at Drake, his eyes going wide. A lightbulb had just gone off inside his head.
“I know just the person,” Frank said. “I wonder where he’s at. Let’s go find him.”
“Yeah, let’s do,” Drake said. Both men were wanting blood, and they had an idea that someone they knew had been spreading bullshit to some hack writer in Hapilopper City in an attempt to ruin their name. They had put two and two together and had an idea of who that person was.
A short while later, they found their man, putting some things into a car as he prepared to drive to the airport. Chris Holmes turned around to find a very pissed-off Frank Bronson and Drake Stevenson coming his way.
“What’s up?” Chris asked.
“Maybe you could tell us that same thing,” Frank replied. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Hap O’Loppa? Who the fuck is that and where the fuck do you get off telling that guy we’re using illegal fuel?”
Chris looked at his former teammates and didn’t know what to say.
“Uh… who is Hap O’Loppa?” Chris asked, kind of pensively, afraid that Frank and Drake were going to beat the hell out of him. “I don’t know what you guys are talking about.”
“The guy that wrote the story about cheating,” Drake said. “Were you the one that said we were using illegal fuel?”
“Illegal fuel?” Chris asked. “When’d you start doing that? I didn’t know you guys were doing that! I always thought you were doing that thing with the air guns! I had no idea you guys were doing anything with the fuel.”
And just like that, Drake and Frank realized that Chris was innocent. He was not Hap O’Loppa’s “reliable source,” nor did he have any idea about the story that had been written.
“I mean, weren’t you guys pumping more nitrogen into the air guns so you could get tires changed quicker?” Chris asked. “I never heard anything about illegal fuel when I was there.”
“You’re right,” Drake said, almost apologetically. “Do you know who would have that Hap O’Loppa’s ear?”
“No,” Chris said. “I don’t know who that is. Who is he?”
“He’s a columnist for the Hapilopper City Herald,” Frank replied. “Kind of a shit-stirrer if you ask me. He’s accused us of cheating, and we’d like to know who his ‘reliable source’ is that he mentioned.”
“I don’t read newspapers, guys,” Chris replied. “I’ve never read his stuff before and I have no desire to. I’m not doing too well, and the last thing I need to read right now is for some hack asshole to tell the world about how I’m nothing. I don’t need to reminded of that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m getting the hell out of here. Nothing hurts more than sitting around watching a race I didn’t make.”
Chris got into his car and drove off. It was clear that Chris hadn’t been the one that had spoken to the anonymous columnist, and it seemed for all the world that it was going to be over with. But people were talking about Team Blue, and not in the best of ways. There were suspicious individuals not far from each of the three cars’ pit stalls on race day. None of the crew from Team Blue recognized the individuals, and didn’t want to cause any undue incident, especially if these were just fans watching the action from behind pit road, as was the custom at NSSCRA tracks across the multiverse.
The race had been rather nondescript, although Frank took a 4th place finish, while Taylor took 13th and Drake, having gotten nudged out of the way late by an aggressive competitor, dropped back to 21st after running much higher late in the race. And it seemed like the team could put whatever cheating nonsense behind them. But then, “Hap O’Loppa” put out a twii while the team was on the Team Blue Shuttle leaving Cassadaigua.
HAP O'LOPPA
@HCH-OLoppa
Hearing two Team Blue drivers confronted @CHolmes56 about my story. Interesting, but he wasn't the one I spoke to.
#NSSCRA : #Cheating
Drake Stevenson, looking at the twii on his phone, went several shades of red.
“That...fucking...LIAR!!!” Drake roared, which got a few people's attention.
“Who're you talking about?” Frank asked as he rushed over. Drake showed Frank the twii, and Frank quickly realized that either Chris had played them, or Chris had told someone who told Hap O'Loppa everything. This one, unfortunately, was far from over.