AOCAF LXII Everything Thread

[Banija]

Take a look at my cutoff! It's the only one I got! (ba ba da da!)

Not much of a cutoff... For the Round of 16 (ba ba da da, ba ba da da!)

Round of 16 Scores

Vilita & Turori 0–1 Qasden
Busoga Islands 1–0 Audioslavia*
Sarzonia 4–1 Ko-oren
Starblaydia 5–1 Oontaz Dert Li Ng
Valanora 0–1 Dogsmouth
Chromatika 1–5 Baker Park
Hapilopper 3–4 Krytenia
Banija 2–1 Mriin*

*= Match scorinated by guest scorinator, the Royal Kingdom of Quebec.

Quarterfinal Matchups
Qasden₁₆ v. Busoga Islands₈. Venue: Dukuma Oval in Dukuma, North Island, Busoga Islands.

Sarzonia₄ v. Starblaydia₅. Venue: Istria Olympic Stadium in Istria, Moravica, Banija.

Dogsmouth₁₁ v. Baker Park₁₄. Venue: Mavuto Field in Hoima, Ankole, Banija.

Krytenia₁₀ v. Banija₂. Venue: Star Field in Herzegovina City, Moravica, Banija.

As a note. The quarterfinal cutoff is listed for Saturday night. However, that cutoff will have to be delayed by about 10-12 hours due to a personal obligation that I must fulfill. It leaves us with a tight calendar, however, with U.S. Thanksgiving coming up this week. So even though I am pushing back slightly the QF cutoff, I will not push back the SF cutoff, so as not to push this tournament further into the U.S. holiday weekend. Which means, instead of the normal 48 hours between cutoffs, between this cutoff and the QF cutoff there will be somewhere between 57 and 60 hours, but between the QF and SF cutoff there will be about 33-36 hours to RP.

If for any participants that QF to SF is too tight a window, TG me and let me know. Otherwise, we are where we are.

[Sarzonia]

The Sarzonian national team did everything in its power to avoid looking past Ko-oren and looking ahead to Starblaydia as a potential matchup in the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football.

They didn't need to worry about that.

Both Sarzonia and Starblaydia demolished their respective opponents in the Round of 16 at AOCAF LXII, the Stars to the tune of a 4-1 thrashing of Ko-oren and Starblaydia with a 5-1 domination of Oontaz Dert Li Ng, who had themselves knocked out Farfadillis in the Round of 24.

Thus, the Stars and Starblaydia will face each other in the knockout rounds of AOCAF for the second consecutive tournament. The Stars bowed out of AOCAF LXI in penalties after regulation and extra time both ended 3-3, so there's definitely motivation for the Stars and manager Nicola Mentes.

"Now that we know for a fact we're facing Starblaydia, we know going in that it's going to be a challenging contest," he said. "Starblaydia have long been one of football's greatest powers and we know we're going to have to be on our 'A game' to beat them."

For his part, midfielder Brady Reynolds, who led the way for Sarzonia (5-1-4) against Ko-oren with two goals and two assists, on Clayton Wilson and Jake Campos goals, was willing to up the ante against Starblaydia. Instead of his usual player-speak or coach speak, Reynolds decided on a different approach.

"We're keen to knock out the Sultans of Sus," he said, referring to the moniker Starblaydis have assigned to various teams in the tournament, "and we wanna be the ones to eject Starblaydia from the airlock."

Reynolds gave a glance at a reporter who suddenly looked confused and laughed.

"Hey, what's good for the goose is good for the gander," he said.

Goalkeeper Paolo Gomes wasn't interested in all that. After making four routine saves against Ko-oren, he said he was focusing squarely on Starblaydia.

"That team scored five goals against Oontaz Dert Li Ng," he said through a translator. "They just demolished a team that beat a strong team from Farfadills. We're not taking anyone lightly at this point in the tournament."

Other results included a shock 16 v. 1 upset as Qasden knocked out Vilita & Turori 1-0, thus depriving the traditional AOCAF powers of a shot at revenge against a Sarzonia side that defeated them in the two previous AOCAFs, Dogsmouth shocking Valanora 1-0, Baker Park throttling Chromatika 5-1, and Krytenia upsetting Hapilooper 4-3. No. 2 seeds and co-hosts Banija defeated Mrinn 2-1 while fellow co-hosts Busoga Islands knocked out defending AOCAF finalists Audioslavia 1-0.

Mentes said he was only worried about the match directly in front of the Stars and wasn't "wasting a single brain cell" on missing a third meeting with the Eel-Cat Things.

"We can only prepare for the matches in front of us," he said. "It would be sus to do otherwise. We might find ourselves thrust out of the airlock."

And then Sarzonia would not be The Champion.

[Krytenia]

A Show With Everything But Yul Brynner
By Rami Niblick in Waldster, Flavovespia

THERE are many things that people say make for an entertaining football match. Two evenly matched teams, for some. Plenty of goals. Red cards. Penalties. Something that hits the headlines. Krytenia's last sixteen game against Hapilopper ticked every single one of these boxes, with repercussions that could be felt far beyond the game itself.

Both sides had clearly set their stalls out to attack, with both Jerome Jaffacake-Phillips and Thom Perkins looking to get their team in control of the match early on. The chances came thick and fast, with Damien Carpenter the busier of the two goalkeepers mainly by virtue of Hapilopper's strikers being the more accurate. Bobby East, especially, will feel he should have done better, finding space on the edge of the box before shooting straight at the Krytenian goalkeeper. It seemed inevitable that a goal would come, and it did indeed come for Hapilopper. James Aitken didn't exactly cover himself in glory, bundling over East just inside the box and giving away a penalty. Claire Randall kept her cool and slotted home the penalty, somewhat aided by Carpenter guessing wrong.

Krytenia were not cowed by conceding the first, though, and kept the pressure on even as their opponents searched for a second. Carpenter saved well a couple of times, denying first Randall with a smothering close-up effort and then Pancakes Taggart from range. Hapilopper were playing well, moving the ball quickly and striking at Krytenia's defence before they could get back into position - but the Dragons can play that game too. Cormac O'Neill, as usual, orchestrated the play in midfield exquisitely, with Ben Foyle and Joe Bielsa creating havoc down the flanks. As the game passed the half hour, it was O'Neill who was the architect of the equaliser, playing a quick one-two with Foyle before laying the ball on a plate to an onrushing Alun Belmwr. The young striker, rumoured to be leaving New Cefn in the near future, did himself some favours in the shop window by playing a measured shot past Cooter Harris to level the game.

With the match evenly poised, and both sides seemingly chasing shadows when their opponents were off the ball, it seemed inevitable that there would be plenty to keep the referee busy. Nathan Ellis got a schoolteacheresque lecture from the Flavovespian referee after cynically leaving a leg in making a tackle on Sam Johanssen, whilst Ross Green's, ahem, "agricultural dispossession" of Ernie Stevenson earned him a flash of yellow. Neither side, it was clear, were willing to give an inch in a match that always seemed to be simmering close to boiling point - certainly one for the neutrals to enjoy. Those neutrals would also be treated to a third goal just before half-time, with a rather route one clearance from Joey Sinton bouncing kindly for Neil Smith, who brought the ball down and thundered a strike past the blameless Harris.

The fifteen minutes of downtime that the half-time break provided did little to lower the frenetic pace of the game. Belmwr almost doubled Krytenia's lead early in the second half, but was denied brilliantly by a top-class Harris save; O'Neill, too, could have made it three, only to see his twenty-five yard effort sail past, rather than into, the goal. Those misses would prove costly, at least in the short term, as it allowed Hapilopper back into the game. With Taggart and East moving the ball quickly to Murray Hunnisett, the Istria City midfielder played an inch-perfect lofted ball to Stevenson, whose first time volley was an arc of mathematical beauty, leaving Carpenter bemused as the ball swept past, out of his reach, and into the net to make it two-two.

This seemed to shift the momentum somewhat. Taggart and Hunnisett, rather than O'Neill and Johanssen, were now calling the shots in the centre of the park. The ageing Aitken was beginning to look ever more like a liability, and it was this weakness that Hapilopper decided to exploit. East and Stevenson simply overloaded him as they came forward, and once Stevenson was past, he slotted the ball across for East to slot home the goal that maybe, just maybe, would send the team in white through to the quarter-finals. Aitken, meanwhile, was pretty much immediately substituted after the goal, with the younger and fresher legs of Ross Okano coming on in his stead.

With a little over ten minutes to play, though, the game turned on its head as all hell broke loose. Nate Ellis may be a hard man, but he knows his craft as a defensive enforcer very well. Trouble is, Neil Smith is almost as broad as he is tall - his nickname is "The Unit" for a reason - and the usual subtle tactics simply weren't working. Ellis, put simply, saw red. When Smith outpaced him to the ball at the corner of the penalty area, the Southfell United defender clattered through the Stanton forward with a tackle that really shouldn't have been shown before the watershed. Happily, Smith wasn't hurt; less happily, he proved this by getting back to his feet and aiming a punch at Ellis. This led to a fight between the two men, which quickly escalated as members of both sides decided to defend their respective comrade's honour. It took a good three minutes for the referee to restore order, by which point Ellis was sporting a rather nasty black eye and Smith was bleeding profusely from the nose. In a move that shocked nobody, both players were sent off.

With the game finally able to get underway - and both sides making substitutions to alter their shape due to being a man short - Belmwr smashed home the penalty to equalise, wisely keeping the celebrations to a minimum to avoid sparking a second all-out brawl. With time running out, and both sides adjusting to the changes forced upon them by the idiocy of their departed team-mates, extra time looked inevitable. Of course, sometimes the inevitable doesn't happen. Step forward substitute Alex Parsons. So often the forgotten man in the Dragons squad, he'd come on for Johanssen after Smith's sending off. As the clock ticked to ninety-four minutes, Parsons latched onto a through ball from O'Neill, jinked past fellow sub Landon Harper, and curled the ball beautifully past Harris to shatter Hapilopper's dreams. With the air well and truly out of their sails, and precious little time to regroup, there was no chance of another equaliser, and Krytenia met the final whistle with a mixture of elation and relief.

With a game like that in the books, Krytenia would probably prefer a nice long rest. This being the knockout stage of the multiverse's premier regional competition, however, there's precious little chance of that - unless you're Neil Smith, who picked up a three-match ban that rules him out of the remainder of the tournament. The form book says he's likely to be joined by his team-mates in short order considering the match-up to come, but there's no denying it'll be a match everyone will have their eyes on. It's the clash of the WCC champions, as World Cup winners Banija face Cup of Harmony winners Krytenia in Herzegovina City. Banija, of course, have the advantage of playing in front of their own fans, and will have the respect of the Dragons' faithful simply for the way they've made Audioslavia their bitch over the course of the group phases. Thing is, though, that title of official (and indeed Unofficial) World Champions just means that Krytenia have nothing to lose. That fact alone makes the Dragons dangerous; watch this space. Onward!

HAPILOPPER - 3
Randall 19 (pen)
Stevenson 58
East 71

KRYTENIA - 4
Belmwr 31, 82 (pen)
Smith 44
Parsons 90+4

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

immediate post-match reaction:
https://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?p=37974767#p37974767

This can't be How the West Won, right?
Scott McCrae
The Daily Mail National Soccer Writer

Commentary from Hoima, Banija

There are storylines to explore in every long form tournament; sometimes the thread of a story can wind it's way through day to day circumstances--they make brief appearances, then disappear again as results bring the bigger picture into focus.

The manner in which the current AOCAF tournament has been organized has made it much more difficult to keep threads in a linear pattern across the different phases. For the Commonwealth National Team, the evolution of the primary story was one that had to focus on the down the middle mediocrity that the side presented through nine matches over two phases: four wins--two of those against Flavovespia--four defeats, with two against Chromatika that showed little optimism for the squad to build upon, and a draw against Northwest Kalactin--which must have impressed someone outside of Calania, as it earned the Kalactins an invitation to the elite Eagles Cup.

But the last of those four victories--a 2-1 decision over Sarzonia at the Olympic Stadium in Istria, appears to have provided the right catalyst at the right moment.

The win over Tropicorp presented a challenge that needed solved, and Jennifer Prescott has proven time & again that she can sort out which pieces will fit into a puzzle; when the pieces need to be re-considered for a different approach; and has the confidence to choose a path that she thinks will bring about a result.

The quarterfinal of AOCAF 60 was Prescott's finest hour; she distilled the problem down to the basic concept--how could Baker Park solve the singular issue that prevented them from defeating Equestria, namely an inability to generate offense against the dominant Ponies.
The solution was an abrupt tactical adjustment that could only be figured out in 4 days rather than 4 weeks.

That 4-1 BP win in Azurena, Farfadillis, ranks as one of the Commonwealth's greatest victories; the most recent match will warrant a spot in the short list discussion of additions to that superlative designation.

I overheard some supporters at the airport in Haddon Hills proposing a catchy nickname for the match that had ended less than six hours previously; Reggie Laing continued his torrid national team scoring pace, with a hat-trick that came in a 45 minute period spread over both sides of half-time, as Amy Reynolds and Freddie Altman provided the bookends inside of the first and last twenty minutes, respectively. The 5-1 demolition of third seeded Chromatika was just another freak result among the eight matches that saw the chalk wiped out in the lower half of the bracket.

As they called for the boarding of our flight to Belle Haven, I offered up a suggestion of my own to the group that had been seated behind me.

"What if you called it 'the Highfield Road Heist'?" They gave it some thought while I went through to claim my seat.

[Starblaydia]

OOC: I've put up an imgur album of every entrant's Aocaf Us avatar as a png if you'd like to use them for anything. Any issues or if I've missed someone, let me know.

The Round of 16 map was familiar to a lot of the entrants who had made it through, but the knowledge they'd picked up in all the previous games just wasn't enough to get most of the experienced ones onto the Round of 8 map, also known as the QFs.



The Champion in the last game handily ejected their opponent, as expected. No suspicions there, that was just a totally normal result that everyone knew was going to happen, it's not because they're obviously The Champion for this one and need ejecting ASAP, no sir.

Elsewhere, it was a time of ejections for entrants who had been former Champions - or entrants who got down to the final decisive rounds - to find themselves sailing through the airlocks. Ko was the Champion in the previous-but-one game, and they were chucked out by Sarz. It's been a *really* long time since Sarz was The Champion, and last time they were victorious it was because they ejected Star in the final round on their own map. And now they've been drawn to face off against Star again? That's pretty sus if you ask me, and we reckon the concurrent viewers record for this game will be broken as everyone tunes in to see who goes out the airlock and makes it to the Round of 4, SF map. The lyrical smack talk has already started, it seems, as fingers are pointed as to who might be the Champion.





But the list of former Champions who got booted from this last map is really interesting. V&T got chucked out by Qas, Audio's controls again looked janky as Busoga ejected them - maybe it was lag, maybe it was because they're too sus. Val got voted out in their face-off with Dogs, and Chrom's almost perfect game so far was quickly ended by BP, who've really been keeping their head down so far and trying their hardest not to draw attention to themselves. Sounds pretty sus to me, too, especially when you consider that it was O₂ sabotage that ended Chrom's game. Sounds fishy to us.



Always some degree of sus, however, is Kry, who has managed, somehow, to sneak onto the Round of 8 map. They have to try and get past the World Champion, though, who gave Mrii their marching orders once more as it was so near, yet so far, for the one with the gold pope-looking hat.

Four more crewmates will not be around before the Round of 4 map begins, who will it be? Discuss!

[Busoga Islands]

Kamu Jacobs in his team's Round of 16 match against Audioslavia

Kamu Jacobs, the captain and the star attacking player for the Busoga Islands, was playing his heart out. He had achieved success at the club level, but the international level was always up and down for the Busoga Islanders. But finally, at AOCAF LXII, they had finally started to achieve success. World Cup 86 Qualifying was a frustrating disaster. In-fighting, no progress, anger thrown around everywhere. It was a disaster from the start, and it was the country's worst ever Qualification campaign, even though it was their sixth ever campaign.

An embarrassment to the country. But with the changes Bethany Donnell had introduced- attitude changes, squad changes- they were actually making progress in the AOCAFs. A tournament that the country had always struggled in, they managed to fly through League B, winning their first five games with clean sheets on their way to earning 16 points from a possible 18 in Phase 1, and earning promotion to League A for Phase 2. Phase 2, of course, would be played on home soil.

And we all know what happened in Phase 2, how the Islanders got to this point. The fact that they did indeed get to this point was an accomplishment in and of itself. This was their seventh time entering the AOCAFs- and yet, this was their first ever appearance in the Round of 16. An exciting time. They flew across Atlantian Oceania to Myana, and although Busoga Islander fans were there in droves, excited for the occasion, the crowd was still majority Audioslavian.

But now, it was the 58th minute. A crazy sequence of events had just happened. An overhead through ball on the opposite side of the pitch had sent Upanshu Paramartha racing into the box. As he had received the ball, it looked like the veteran winger would have a chance to launch a strike on goal. But a crunching tackle from Leonardo Ceron from behind had prevented him from getting the shot off. However, the Quebecois referee sprinted in and blew his whistle, pointing directly to the spot. The Islander fans starting cheering- penalty! The referee had no choice but to give Coren a red- a slide tackle from behind that got a lot of leg rather than ball, and on a clear goalscoring opportunity. As Coren hung his head and walked off, the nerves started rising for Kamu Jacobs.

Patterick demanded a review, and the referee conceded- they went to VAR. There was no overturning it, but it's a mind games tactic that you'll expect to be pulled more often. Soccer's equivalent of "icing the kicker" on big time penalty kicks. Just give the taker more time to think about it. But after they reviewed it, Kamu grabbed the ball, and kissed it, and put it down. "C'mon Kamu, you got this." Jay Khano, one of Kamu's teammates, said while fist bumping him. Other teammates said similar words of encouragement. Jacobs looked down, and then looked up again at Goran Stroud, the opposing goalkeeper. He thought about the moment- would this be his opportunity to give the Islanders their first ever victory in the knockout stages of a major international tournament?

It would not be. Jacobs put too much pressure on himself. IN the run-up, he looked up too soon and skied the ball, hitting the ball into the fifth row of the stands. "FUCK!" He yelled as he crouched down. Stroud grinned to himself, while the other Audioslavian defenders high-fived their goalkeeper. He was looking straight into the Islander ultras section, fans with their hands on their heads, dismayed. Audioslavia used this momentary setback by the Busoga Islands to push forward. Gabirel Zozaia had a header in the 65th that took an incredible diving save from Mustafa Taal to keep out of the back of the net.

Even Govind Nigam had a goal line clearance off of a corner kick, when a backpost header from Moses Moxey beat Taal, but Nigam was in the right place at the right time and headed the ball off of his backline. Even though they only had 10 men, they were getting the better of this Islander side. The Busogans would need some chance of skill to defeat one of AO's most storied sides. And they got their chance in the 80th minute- Kamu's chance at redemption for his penalty miss. The Busoga Islands were having a spell of possession.

Jacobs was holding the ball about 22 yards from goal. But he saw an opening- the defender in front of him was backing up, giving him a little bit of space. He took a step forward, and struck the ball with this left foot. He got all of it, and the ball flew towards the near post. The ball flew past a leaping Goran Stroud and into the back of the net. And then- pandemonium. Jacobs sprinted behind the goal, as the fans went absolutely wild. He jumped into the first row to celebrate the stunning strike, and he was mobbed by fans and teammates alike.

Busoga chants filled the stadium from this end, as the fans could sense it. The Islanders, of course, threw 11 behind the ball for the final 10 minutes and change, and after 4 minutes of stoppage, the referee blew his whistle three times. The Busoga Islands had won their first ever knockout stage match in history. Kamu Jacobs nearly had tears in his eyes- his teammates mobbing him and Mustafa Taal, the goalkeeper. Celebrating. They would move on, he would move home.

After about 5 minutes, a reporter made his way to him and started throwing questions his way.

"Kamu, how does this feel? Massive upset today here in Myana."

"Well, Chromatika is a great country." He said. "I play in Chromia, of course. But this is a place where my career has really taken off. I have made my career here, this country has developed me in so many ways as a footballer. It's only fitting that this is where we make our greatest stand ever playing for our country, to date. What a moment." A teammate then interrupted him and hugged him. "But this tournament isn't over. We've gotten this far, haven't we?"

The reporter asked a few more questions, and Kamu celebrated. But the team went directly to the airport, not even going to the airport. It'd be pandemonium at home. But as the captain, Donnell tasked him with getting the players settled down. They'd have an important quarterfinal, just announced to be on home soil with Dukuma. It'd be chaos in Dukuma. Hearts and minds would need to be immediately focused on Qasden.

[Banija]

Part I
Part II
Part III
Baker Part Statement

Kabaka= King
Luguba= Queen Consort
Isebantu= Crown Prince
Omugabe= Prince
Omugaba= Princess

Kabaka Mwanga on Banijan Royal Air Force 1, flight to Lakiska, South Island, Busoga Islands

Kabaka Mwanga was travelling with his wife, Luguba Katrina, as the primary members of this delegation. He spoke to his wife about how strange this situation was. "You know baby, I never once thought that we'd actually be able to get this deal done. And yet, here we are."

"Yes, this is a fantastic moment. Probably one of the biggest moments and victories of your reign, if we are to be frank and honest." Luguba Katrina replied. "We are neighbors, and although we have a troubled history thanks to Matthias Mutebi, we have too much shared history to hate each other. You did the right thing- we are better working together and being good neighbors, rather than being standoffish and permanently angry at each other."

"Yes, you're right honey. I hope this goes well." He replied. And then, he got up and moved to a different compartment on the plane, working on finishing his speech. While none of his sons were here, he brought Omugabe Ssekemanya, the second to the throne, with him as well. He was growing into a man- it was time for Ssekemanya, his future successor, to be brought along on these trips and see how the world of diplomacy worked for himself.

Belle Haven Agreement Signing Ceremony, Lakiska, South Island

This was an outdoor ceremony, in front of the President's residence. It had been many years since Mwanga had been here. In fact, he hadn't been to the Busoga Islands probably since World Cup 79 Qualifying, before Matthias Mutebi was elected the Katikkiro of Banija. So many years. He wasn't the Kabaka when he had last come to this island- he was simply the Isebantu.

At the ceremony, of course, were the respective heads of state- His Majesty Mwanga, the Kabaka, and President Kasekende. They had greeted each other as equals. They had met before, of course, when Kasekende came to the Olympic Opening Ceremony. But that was very different- there were all sorts of heads of state in the room then, and he had only spoke to Kasekende briefly. Foreign Minister Hannah Delaney, of the Commonwealth of Baker Park, was there as well. And lastly, the Quebecois Commonwealth Secretary-General, Horace Barnes-Stanley of Acadiana, was there as well.

All four would speak to the press. Horace Barnes-Stanley would speak first. His comments were brief, talking about how the Quebecois Commonwealth was a strong organization, of like-minded members and allies with a common history, and how it would be stronger with the Islamic Republic as a member. Barnes-Stanley went onto say that Banija's High Commissioner to the Commonwealth would submit Busoga's application as soon as Barnes-Stanley got back to Quebec City. Then, Hannah Delaney spoke next, speaking about the process of coming to this, and how Baker Park would continue to push for peace and strong relations with both allies.

And then, President Kasekende spoke. He gave, naturally, the longest speech. He spoke about how the Busogans and the Banijans were inseperable partners. He spoke about his time on the Banijan national soccer team, and his two World Cup cycles being the starting goalkeeper for Banija, and how proud he was when he was on the field for Banija's first ever World Cup Qualification. He then spoke about his time playing for Busoga, and the immense pride he felt when he, for the very first time, put on that red and white kit, playing for Busoga. He talked about how it had been a longtime dream of his, and how special that moment was.

He spoke about how it was then he knew that, when his playing career was done, he wanted to get into politics to improve the lives of Busogans. And he talked about how he knew that a great way to do that would be to normalize relations between the two countries. He thanked Hannah Delaney and the government in Belle Haven, also mentioning Prime Minister Rebecca Schoenlein and President Wentworth by name. He spoke about how both nations could move forward here, as partners, from this point forward. When he was done, everyone turned to the Kabaka.

"Thank you for being here today." Kabaka Mwanga began. "When this process started, I of course was a skeptic myself. We didn't want relations to be antagonistic between the Busoga Islands and the Kingdom of Banija forever. And of course, this was not something that would come easy. But when we were able to initiate these talks in Belle Haven, we were grateful to Minister Delaney and Prime Minister Schoenlein for the support that they showed. We had working level talks go on for months, to work through relations issue by issue, and if it wasn't for the strong support of our mutual ally, we doubt this deal ever gets done. My personal thanks to Minister Delaney for all of her hard work, which surely included plenty of stressful moments and late nights."

"But when my son came back with the final agreement, I was ecstatic. It is great being back here in the Busoga Islands. It is different now- I am not your Kabaka, I am your guest. A head of state visit, equal to equal. The Busoga Islands are a country that can indeed thrive. We are not so different. We have shared values, the same wants. We want to build homes for our families. Secure better futures for our children than we had for ourselves. The ability to worship our God, freely. We have established these, and so much more, with our normalization of relations."

"We are informed by our past- but we are not bound by it. And today, we have chosen to reject the notion of fear, to reject the fear of change, and decide to move forward as partners, as allies. Let us grow together." And he continued to speak about the future, what the future holds, and how Banija and Busoga could work together in the future. And then, all the documents were signed. An English language copy, held by Baker Park, signed by Delaney, the Kabaka, and Kasekende. Then the Olusanke language copy, held by Banija. Signed by Delaney, the Kabaka, and Kasekende. And then, a second English language copy, held by the Busoga Islands. Signed by Delaney, the Kabaka, and Kasekende.

It was official. And as the Busoga Islander parliamentary delegates cheered, they knew that they had finished one old era, and a new one had officially begun.

[Chromatika]

AOCAF LXII Octofinals

Octofinal Chromatika 1-5 Baker Park
Goals: Gainsbourg '7
Starting XI: Fillar; De Saint-Pierre - Slaven - Ingram - Adams; Winge - Zuniga (C) - Kuznsetsov; Hauser; Haggard - Gainsbourg.
Substitutes: Nio -> Fillar ('15), Larriet-Cortes -> Zuniga ('52), Fillar, B. -> Hauser ('81)

Chromatik U-25s Bow out in Blowout Loss

Everything was going as it should for the first seven minutes of the third match against Baker Park in these AOCAFs. Alicia Gainsbourg had scored yet another goal to add to her impressive tally, and things were looking like they were on target for the Anomalies.

Then, in a span of two minutes, the game turned on its head, Reggie Laing scored a hat trick for Baker Park, and Chromatika ended up going home after suffering a 1-5 defeat, one of their worst in recent history.

First, Ulrich Slaven's hard challenge against Amy Reynolds was punished by the referee, who threw Slaven out of the game. To be fair, it was a nasty piece of work.

Then, Juxon Fillar twisted his knee while going low for the ball in the tenth minute, and had to be replaced by the fifteenth minute. Cathryn Nio is no Juxon Fillar, and the Bees had their way with the Chromatik defense after that.

It was an altogether disappointing end to the tourney, but the duo of Valens and Landers are optimistic toward the future.

"We had one of the best records in a nine-game group stage," stated Valens, "And discovered that these players can indeed play with some of the best out there. There is plenty that we came out of this tournament with that will be useful going forward."

The Chromatiks will return home to their facilities in Chromia to train for the next World Cup.

---

Regional Politics: Premier Aart Commemorates Historic Belle Heaven Agreement Signing

During a scheduled announcement from Chromia, Premier Keri Wyse Aart applauded the efforts of the Baker Park government led by Prime Minister Rebecca Schoenlein and PresidentTimothy Wentworth and the heads of state of Banija (Kabaka Mwanga) and President Kesekende of the Busoga Islands.

"It is a momentous occasion for celebration," stated Aart, "that two nations have decided put aside old differences to walk toward a brighter tomorrow. We applaud their efforts and celebrate with them."

Banija, of course, has been one of Chromatika's most important political allies since they were instrumental in the first ever free election in Chromatika four years ago. Chromatik officials have been doing all that they can to cement their alliance with their neighbors to the south of Atlantian Oceania.

"This could be huge for Chromatika," stated a political analyst, "To have an inroad to the Busogans could help with the country's image throughout the entire subregion."

Chromatika will be watching the proceedings with rapt interest.

[Krytenia]

#wewantsix
Krytenia: Five-Time Unofficial World Champions

For those who keep up with Audioslavian journalist (and father of the NT boss) Jeremy Jaffacake, you might be aware of the video documentary series known as The Idiot Project. The latest batch of videos introduced an interesting concept known as the Unofficial World Championship. Defended in the style of a boxing belt, it's an ephemeral accolade; nevertheless, it's one various iterations of the Krytenian team have managed to win on five occasions. The current holders are, as it happens, both the official World Champions and Krytenia's next AOCAF Cup opponents, Banija. With that in mind, we've commandeered a Starblaydi hashtag to look at the Dragons' runs with the title.

REIGN 1: Dethroning The Kings
Back in the sepia-toned days of World Cup 27, the dominant sides included the much missed nation of Bedistan. Having won both official and unofficial world titles from Liventia in the World Cup final, they travelled to Bettia for the fourteenth AOCAF Cup tournament brimming with confidence. Though they kept hold of the title in the first three matches of the group stage, draws against Milchama and Sarzonia, and a five-one victory over the "who's that?" of regional football that was Iksonic, they came up against the Dragons in the last match of the group. Having cost his team a quarter-final berth (which would, ironically, have been against Bedistan) in the World Cup with a cruel own goal, a certain striker by the name of Jerome Jaffacake-Phillips was keen to make amends. He scored the only goal of the game, making Krytenia UWC title holders for the first time. Sadly it wasn't to be a long reign, as though they beat long-time friendly rivals FMJPhoenix in the first knockout round, they were no match for the regional powerhouses that were...Lamoni.

REIGN 2: The Casaran Job And The Double Curse
Yep, it's probably the most famous match in Krytenian footballing history - ranking above their defeat of Squornshelous to mark their first World Cup qualification, beating the Babbage Islands in the World Cup 58 Final, or even the two victories that have led to Krytenian silverware. Their win over Starblaydia in World Cup 29 had it all, drama, intrigue, and a blatantly offside goal from Tejai that tumbled the Starblaydis out of the tournament. Tejai's goal will live on for generations, a shining beacon of the fact that the Men in Mauve are not invincible. Sadly, though, there was one fact at the time that was simply insurmountable for the Dragons; reach a semi-final, and you will lose. It's a problem that we now appear to have overcome, but for the longest time semi-final defeats were the Curse of Krytenia. On this occasion, it was Audioslavia doing the business. This, of course, led to not only the Curse of Krytenia, but also the Curse of Audioslavia being activated, with the Bulls losing in the final to our fellow host nation, Casari.

REIGN 3: We're Number One!
Here's a shock for you; thanks to the vagaries of the KPB ranking point system, and despite never having even so much as reached a World Cup final in their existence, Krytenia travelled to Az-cz for the World Cup 33 finals as the number one ranked side in the world. Just...let that sink in a moment. Of course, Krytenia being Krytenia, they had a funny way of showing it. They prepared meticulously for their opening match against Squornshelous with the exception of one teensy detail; namely, that their opponents that day were actually Tynelia. Not to worry, though, a win over Spruitland on Matchday Two meant the final day came down to a showdown between the Dragons and Pshychoes for a place in the second round as well as the UWC title. Krytenia came through the game by the odd goal in five, before proving their seeding counted for absolutely jack by going out to Schivonia in the next round in a match generally regarded as "absolutely awful".

REIGN 4: A Not-So-Sweet Sixteen
Krytenia's attempts to qualify for World Cup 49 did not start well. True, there was a modicum of revenge for the above with a three-nil tonking in Avidia, but this proved to be their only win in their first five matches. It's safe to say that confidence was low for David Wolverton's side as they took to the field in Fort Boston, especially as then-UWC holders Bostopia had very much the upper hand over the Dragons in their recent matchups. As it turned out, they needn't have worried on either front. A four-one shellacking sent Krytenia on an unbeaten run that would see them through the remainder of qualifying and rack up ten successful title defences that saw the team take the belt into the finals. They'd leave with the belt, too, but not in the way they would have liked, eliminated in the first round with three draws out of three - including yet another failure to defeat those damn Starblaydis. Their avoidance of defeat did mean that they took the belt to the twenty-eighth AOCAF Cup, where they defended successfully against Nanwe and New Texxas. 95X, however, proved to be a bridge too far, and the Krytenians finally surrendered the title in their sixteenth defence.

REIGN 5: Even When We're Crap, We Can Still Beat The Bulls
By the time World Cup 64's qualifying campaign came around, the Krytenian national team were in a tailspin. The glory days of six cups earlier felt like an unreachable bar, and indeed the Dragons would take a sabbatical from international football a scant few cycles later. Audioslavia, meanwhile, had dragged themselves back to relevance. Not only that, but they'd stuffed the trophy cabinet in the process. When they rolled up to the Isserson Olympic Stadium, they were the reigning world, regional, and unofficial champions, and hadn't lost a match in three years. Naturally, this was the point at which the Krytenians decided they were actually going to play well. Where Starblaydia and Valanora had failed, the Dragons succeeded, coming back from an early Bulls goal to win three-one. There would be four successful defences in the run, against the amusingly named Spagbogia, Zwangzug, Soviet Canuckistan, and a five-two win over Backyard Sports. Sadly, Kinitaria would wrest the belt from them - ironically beating the same Backyard Sports team by the same scoreline in their first defence. To add insult to injury, Audioslavia would go on to win the World Cup for a second time at the finals, defeating Andossa Se Mitrin Vega to well and truly break the Audioslavian Curse. Temporarily. It is Audioslavia, after all.

So there you have it. Can Krytenia upset the apple cart and collect their sixth Unofficial World Championship title? The formbook says no, but there's always hope. After all, formbooks make for quite lousy grass.

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

© Sporting Times Weekend 2020
BP still "sus" as Semis loom large
by Mindy Cartwright, National Soccer Editor

By all accounts, the dressing room of the Commonwealth National Team tends to be pretty even keeled when it comes to post-match celebrations after victories; at age group level it can get boisterous on occasion, but the senior squad generally take even momentous wins with a fair amount of understated glee.

That makes the scene in the away dressing room at Highfield Road in Haddon Hills, Flavovespia one to report about, after the 5-1 dismantling of a Chromatika side that came in looking like one of the best bets to win the 62nd AOCAF.
Gabby Jordan, who has worn the armband more than any other player for this squad during the tournament, quieted the assembled group to make a request.

"Just this once, I want us all to close our eyes and bow our heads for a short prayer of thanks... O Great Creator of the Multiverse, we praise you for the blessings you've given to us by providing our great nation with the life of Jennifer Lorraine Prescott. Amen!"

The din of the response could be heard all the way to the media room, and the feeling did not pass by without comment from the subject.
"I only fill out the team sheet and watch from the sideline"—eliciting laughter from all in the room—"but thanks for that. You've all put in so much work, and this was a testament to your spirit and toughness. And that's 25 dollar fine Gabby for revealing my middle name."

Asked later to draw a parallel to the match in Faradillis in AOCAF 60, Prescott continued on with her levity in the aftermath of avoiding elimination.
"We only allowed one goal and now we advance. I think that covers it." (laughter) "Just because the alignment and personnel were similar, the actual tactics weren't really close. They didn't have any Pristina Shines on that team today, did they? They didn't have an experienced veteran side that had won a World Cup and were the two-time defending champions? I give them full credit because they are going to be a threat going on from here. I suspect there will be a lot of meetings between the core group on both sides over the next few cycles. I think today our experience showed in a way that didn't have as much of a factor during the group stage."

Baker Park will return to Banija to face Dogsmouth in the quarterfinal at Mavuto Field in Hoima; the Dogi upset Valanora 1-0 to head off a fourth match between the Marauders and Bees during the competition. The draw has set up BP to play at the home of the reigning BSL Champions Hoima Warriors, who just happen to be captained by NT standout Angelique Underwood.

Asked about Freddie Altman's maiden goal for the National Team, Prescott became animated. "Freddie has persevered during this tournament, and I was thrilled he finally got a goal. There was plenty of speculation as whether he was ready, should he have gone through another DBC before coming up. He's had ups and downs, but he comes to work every day, pays attention, understands his errors. No one begrudges him an important milestone, and we know he's got unlimited room for growth."

A potential Semi-Final against co-host Banija awaits the winner, and although the record against the Kadongo Kamu isn't anything to get excited about, the Commonwealth have an established record of excellent performances in tournaments held in the Kingdom, with 9 wins against just 3 defeats, along with a draw in BOF 67--the first ever NS Era senior team match at the Stadium of the Restoration against Norcambria.

lineup vs Dogsmouth:
Johnston; Moss, Onikambe, Jordan (C); Vuckovic, D'Amico, Altman, Aguilar; Craig; West, Pryor

[Dogsmouth]

barkandbite.dog

Gloriously Southwestern

And so the Dogi AOCAF progression continues. Winless and goalless, round of 32 (sorta), round of 24, and now a round of 16 berth. Will the pattern hold or break from here? Either way, I feel a point's been proven. Atlantians at large need to start putting some respect on the name of Meredyth Shepherd and the team she's put together.

The matchup between Dogsmouth and Valanora was a fun one for quite a few reasons. The most topical is that both nations have had fans be very vocal about the format. The Cleighmor Herald infamously ran an article about how it was all a fix to prevent Dogsmouth from embarrassing Banija again--something that notably could happen should both teams win their next tie--though no evidence to this fanciful claim has turned up as of yet. Meanwhile various Vanorians have gone off on Twii.tur and other associated social media outlets about how the format is "a joke and a sham." The nation is generally regarded as one of the most hostile environments for the proponents of Casaran formats, for the (generally flawed) argument that Casaran penalizes the best teams by forcing them to play the best teams more often. (This is flawed because after you lose to a good team, your record worsens, and thus you are statistically likely to play a worse team. The system is designed to average out in a fair manner. There are many good reasons not to use casaran in football tourneys; this just isn't one of them.) One can only assume a similar line of thinking was applied to this nations league format, where teams that would normally be top seeds faced off against other top seeds for two entire group stages, including an extra-large one. Despite the matter of how it's incredibly difficult for a team that was in the first three pots of League A to not make the knockouts. A grand total of one didn't make it: the severely under-performing Siovanijan and Teus.

Second, there's the history between the two sides in the AOCAF. In the mere four AOCAFs Dogsmouth has entered, this will be the fourth time they've faced off against the Marauders. Their debut in AOCAF 59--that awful horrible no-good zero-goals-in-ten-games group stage--had the solitary highlight of drawing the Vanorians nil-all (as required by the whole 'no goals scored' bit). Of course, incensed by the concept of a minnow feeling happiness at having pulled off an improbable yet still modest upset, all stops were pulled out for the return leg that saw a 3-0 thrashing in favor of the team you'd expect to win. Then moving on to AOCAF 60's play-in round, the Vanorians put the Dogi away 1-2 beneath the burning stand of La Fantás. An 0-1-2 record is something you're never excited about your prospective knockout round opponent. But consider the quality of said opponent, that it wasn't 0-0-3 brings a spark of hope. They're not impenetrable.

And finally, that brings us to the third happenstance that we'll always be required to bring up this late a stage of the tournament due to the AOCAF's nature. Dogsmouth's records against the preeminent sides of the world, and especially those co-located in the so-dubbed 'Glorious Southwest.' The Vanorian draw, as mentioned. The two-all draw with Farfadillis on the opening day of AOCAF 60. Also known as the literal first game the Farves played after becoming World Champions (both official and not). On Farf soil. The Dogi were a goal short (scored or saved) from becoming Unofficial World Champions themselves. And then the Banijans in AOCAF 61’s group stage--not yet champions, so no UWC being bandied about, but still ranked #1 by the WCC--were upstaged by the Dogi two-nil. A modern-day David, to make use of an overused analogy.

Now, all that said. This is still a match against Valanora. Every expectation was for a loss and very possibly a brutal one. One does not face down Laborious Hawk with confidence; at best, you can come at him with defiance. And it’d be a stretch to say that’s what Emma Tirrell did opposite him. The Elf of Legend, The Hundred Million Dollar Man, versus a woman with good game sense plying a league those in the footballing elite might be tempted to label semi-professional. And yet she was able to do well enough to keep him contained. Perhaps his heart wasn’t in it? No, that doesn’t seem right; above all else Hawk’s work ethic is often noted as his defining characteristic. He wouldn’t throw in the towel even if his countrymen felt the tourney null and void. Mayhaps he wasn’t feeling his best that day? The Vanorian physio declined an interview with this random schlub on the internet, so I’ll never know. The only information we have is that Tirrell did her job as well and better than anyone could have expected.

Calling the Marauders offense listless would be… well, it’d be wrong, that’s what it’d be. Apoxian wunderkid Harlem Saxstrom, having grown into the role of a star striker following her Vanorian naturalization, and Thor Møller are world class acts. But then, the Dogi defense has always been particularly sharp when presented with a challenge--and particularly flimsy when given an opponent they can underestimate--so seeing Colwyn Faulkner and Amelia Tuff rise to the occasion is less of a surprise. And then on the sharp end, it’s hardly like the Dogi were constantly pressuring the Vanorian defense and were racking up the chances. Although the singular goal wasn’t completely against the run of play, either--it had been a nice network of passes organized between Tirrell and Aureole Rivers that got the ball to Cynthia Rayne’s feet. But it was one of her trademark lightning bolt moments that saw it sail past Sean Smørdal. Between scenes like this in the AOCAF and Starling’s performance in the Premiership, this may be a cycle to forget for the legendary but aging keeper.

Victory. A big splash for an incremental improvement. If we want to make that a jump, victory over Baker Park is the next task. No easy feat! But neither was this round. The Baker Parkers enjoyed a brutal five-one expulsion of bookie sweethearts Chromatika, who had up to that point been having a wondrous run. Pretty sus. The southern Calanians are just across the northern sea from Dogsmouth, amongst the mess of straits (channels? sounds? geography debates still rage) that converge around the ‘nose,’ and as such are commonly regarded as “honorary” members of the Glorious Southwest. Mayhaps that means our luck against southwestern superpowers may hold true? We’ll have to see back in Banija, after this interesting detour to Flavovespia.

Whoof, all this Southwest talk has gotten me thirsty. Thirsty for some drama. Rumors of some fashion of a ”Heritage Cup” has been circling about lately, featuring involvement from all the big names you’d expect in the region. Vanorians, Farves, Banijans, Siovanijans and Teus, Equestrians, you name it. There’s even reports Demot are being thrown a bone, how cute! And yet… and yet. I had a Dogi Football Authority bureaucrat confirm the DFA had received no such outreach from the organizers of this supposed tournament. The league that contains 1510 Plinth. The team that beat the Hoima Warriors of Banija last AOCL. The Warriors, whose captain is occasional Baker Park NT starter Angelique Underwood. The Warriors, whom call Mavuto Field home. The same Mavuto Field that will be hosting the Dogsmouth versus Baker Park Round of Sixteen match.

This is the match the Dogi need to get the respect we deserve as a power amongst the Southwest. It’s all lined up so perfectly. There can be no other explanation.

[Qasden]

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When Push Comes to Shug

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By Tomathan Hammerland

BALLINA- Over the course of the past 10 games, it'd be criminal to not acknowledge a growing fan theory surrounding the differences in Qasden's performance between the organization's new kits. About a week before travelling to Gyatso-Kai for the first match, QAFA officials announced the retirement of the Hinodejin-Made designs used for the past however many years in favor of a fresh look fit for, say, an entirely new set of players ushered in alongside Sylvia Zimari's promotion. Unlike their past two incarnations, the kits debuting in this AOCAF were produced by separate kit manufacturers: Siru, a company based in Tikariot, and ZSports, a group hailing from Ziwana. Together, these companies created the Mach 3 Designs, celebrating both the national colors of the Principality (with the added twist of flipping the colors) as well as the country's love for the curious feline, with the latter taking the form of a calico-patterned away jersey. The hype around these new robes were real, but even though the Vans would be strutting into the AOCAF looking damn fine, they still needed to play as good as their threads wanted them to. After all, how can jerseys fly off the shelves if the team couldn't keep balls out of their net.

As I originally was meant to state above, the regional performances in games wearing the home and away kits tended to differ dramatically, which led to conspiracies and an increase of bets based purely on vanity. Of all the matches leading up to the Round of 16, Qasden had played half in Red-Blue and half in Calico, a nice even split. In matches while wearing the national bicolor, the Vans had won against every opponent they had faced (The three Phase 1 home matches plus Audioslavia and Gallavrynga). In matches while donning the calico, however, Zimari and the NewVans saw a near total devastation everytime, losing all but the first match, which had ended in a stalemate. The theory provided a simple mantra: Any match while wearing the red-blue is likely to be a dub, but any match while wearing the calico would prove too difficult for such hubris. The conspiracy, while small at first, grew exponentially throughout Phase 2 and the Round of 24, leading to the Octofinal matchup against Vilita & Turori. To the fear and ire of fans, the Vans were the lower seed, meaning they'd be wearing the "Cursed Calico", a black cat kit, if you will. With that in mind, defeat was imminent. The match in Ballina, a growing city in Northwest Kalactin, saw significantly less enthusiastic Qads in the stands, most ready to get some form of alcohol in their system pronto. They were still there en masse, of course, but less partying and more quiet cheers and gentle flag-waving to mask the overwhelming sense of machination-driven dread. This was it; down at the hands of the #1 seed to end a fairly decent run by the rookies. It seemed practically concrete.

At the 17th minute mark, a wild pass by the VilTurian side would lead to the ball being at the helm of #MIV, Shug De La Fontaine, a man who has already garnered success this tournament both on and off the field, having scored twice and always finding a way to unintentionally swoon fans. Nevertheless, De La Fontaine, with a swift launch from the right side of the field, put Qasden on the board early, a shock in itself by a rookie who damn well has more class than the rest. From then on, the eyes of Qad football goers swayed from offense to defense, glaring at the defense led by Vice Captain, Cora Varnham, and a keeper trained by the great Brickwall Abbott, Zinnia Thurstan. While the ball had occasionally found its way to the goal, it never barged in without being denied at the gates by a quick Zinnia. Soon the match went into the second half, and the score still stood as time kept ticking. 30 minutes. 20 minutes. 15 minutes. Fans, still drunk off dread, began to raise their eyebrows from the palms of the comforting hands. 10 minutes. 5 minutes. Stoppage time. The Vans just needed to keep the Eel-Cat Things in check for just a little longer and...it's over. The NewVans, despite all they had gone through, despite all the fear from those worried about their shirts, despite literally the entire region (Qasden included) calling this fight against them, had done the truly unthinkable. For the first time since AOCAF 59, Qasden has reached the Quarter-Finals, complete with the greatest result from all this: a stunning upset over an impossibly talented, top-seeded Vilita & Turori.

It's true that our new faces, as well as Sylvia Zimari, will definitely be welcomed back to Qasden when their time in 62 is up, but until then, there's still more fight to be fought, and more matches to preview. As we're in the quarters, we no longer have to worry about skipping over any national team that we may have missed. Unfortunately, most of those remaining are those that have been reviewed before, though while we are happy to see them as always, it may provide some slightly lacking content beyond the past match or two.

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Starting us off in the lower half of the bracket is the championship itself. No, not the AOCAF Championship! We're talking about the real final here, the Unofficial World Championship, of course. Banija, hosts and recently appointed highest-seeded team remaining, have yet to loosen their grip on the damn title since the late stages of Phase 1, going undefeated in Phase 2 before getting to skip past the Play-Ins and Hexadecafinals. Taking a trip to Honeport, Khytonya, the Kadongo Kamu faced a hard challenge in the form of Mriin, a perpetual face in the quarters and the stubborn 15th seed. Yes, the Mrii were a force to be reckoned with, but so was Farfadillis, and as the Farves were ejected by Oontaz of all teams, the Reavers would be no different, getting shut down by Banija 1-2. With a whole lot of surprises that we'll be getting into shortly, Mriin's defeat may have provided Banija a clear road to the AOCAF Final and be one of few(?) to hold 3 separate football titles at once. The question now is if they can be defeated until then, and right now, our only answer is a variable in the form of Krytenia. When we last left off with our daily dose of cyan, the Kryties had extinguished the last light from a dim League C, only to face the inevitable reckoning in the form of Hapilopper, Qasden's cool hat. Despite the one-way nickname, our hat was no match for the Dragons as Krytenia buried them in an intense 4-3 throwdown in Flavovespia. It probably wouldn't be wrong to assumed that them Lake Bekk people got high off their recent success in the Cup of Harmony, and now they want that hit again to further add dirt on top of the semi-final joke's grave. Or maybe they want to revive it by winning? I dunno, but what I do know is that Krytenia is competing with Banija for the UWC title and a spot in the Semi-Finals, with the latter having home-field advantage in Herzegovina City. Will this mean anything for them? Probably, at least ticket sales-wise.

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Aha! Not all the nations on here have been reviewed! You've met our cool hat, but now let's get on with discussing our neighbor who just has something about them that we can't trust: Dogsmouth. The Dogi are, as far as my sleep-deprived mind can comprehend, the last of the true B-Leaguers, those whose time in the initial phases that were spent entirely within League B. It's not a big list, but Oontaz was on it and we saw the damage they did. In Phase 1, Dogsmouth had provided an astounding 11 points, but were one-upped by Northwest Kalactin to be doomed to stay in the midtier. In the Xíxì Êns Group, the team would be able to stay up top with 7 points across 3 matches, taking the 11th overall seed. While not a bye to the Octos, Dogsmouth would fulfill a vendetta against Jared Sednah by beating the Kalactanians in penalties. However, it would be their Round of 16 result that'd truly define their rugged seriousness this cup, upsetting Valanora in Qad fashion (1-0). With the team that likes dogs potentially a little too much, they would get to travel to Mavuto Field in Hoima to take on another of Qasden's near-neighbors, the Commonwealth that keeps on appearing in this thing. To be safely put, this tournament was a rare sight since their debut that Baker Park was expected to miss out on the Round of 8. While a decent bunch definitely capable of stellar performances, the Bees were a 3rd-place League A team that would punish them with the 14th seed. Now, that doesn't sound all that bad, especially after their quick handling of Tropicorp in the Hexadecas, but their opponent in the last 16 would be Chromatika, an undefeated 3rd-seed that had already schooled Baker Park twice back in Phase 1. It looked entirely certain that the Anomalies would do it to them again, but little did they know how absolutely wrong they'd be. In the span of 90 minutes, Baker Park not only beat an unstoppable Chromatika, but straight up obliterated them. Like, good word, that score was so brutal it hurts to even think about it. So like their opponent this round, Baker Park has gotten revenge, meaning that this match will be one to fuel the bloodlust, though the winner will get to take a crack at the UWC in the next round, so... double the bloodlust!

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Gonna level with y'all, I'm tired as duck. Man, I can't even correctly type fu-we're getting off track. Anyways, we now reach the upper half of the bracket, full of Qasden's most imminent dangers, highlighted by the only battle between two still-standing upper seeds. Of the two, we have Sarzonia, the 4th seed and one of two League A group winners to still be standing. In their last check-up, the Stars were on the cusp of battling the Dragonflies in Khytonya, their fate left ambiguous. However, it is today that we discover that Sarzonia would come out commandingly on top, thrashing Ko-oren 4-1. With a champion of AOCAF 60 now out of their way, Nicola Mentes looks to do one better against their next opponent, the champions of AOCAF 61 (the defending champions, if you will), Starblaydia. Now, we haven't checked in on these purple mofos since the end of Phase 2, so why shove the camera back in their face? Since the end of the Di Bradini Group, Starblaydia capitalized on their impressive second place by becoming the best second place, 5th! Getting to cut their way to the Octos, these purple-loving Calanians to foil Krytenia got an unexpected but not unwelcomed opponent in the form of Oontaz, the 12th seed who pulled off a remarkabke upset over Farfadillis despite already being the higher seed, so is it truly an upset? Yes, of course, have you seen Farf's rank? But yeah, Oontaz and Starblaydia would meet up in Savigliane for their showdown, in which the Starblaydi, in Baker Park fashion, would absolutely thrash the Lions of Sand and Sky 5-1, earning them one step closer to their goal of successfully defending their title. To get there, however, would require their meeting with Sarzonia in Istria to go towards their favor, something that we view as both a good (Di Bradini Group Stronk!) and absolutely horrifying (Much higher ranked than Sarz) thing to happen going forward.

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Last, but technically first on the bracket, we have your good ol' pals in red and blue taking on one of our greatest weaknesses, a co-host! To be specific, the Busoga Islands are in joint operation with Banija on the AOCAF this time around, though they've pretty much been playing any game designated as "home" on the islands. Like the Vans, the Busogans started out in League B, finding success great enough to be promoted come Phase 2. It was here in the Sobek Dehena group where the Islanders would shine, just bright enough to clip 2nd place with 4 points thanks to a win and draw against those below them (Mriin and Farf). This was, in their words and most of ours, a pleasant surprise, netting them the 8th seed overall and access to the Round of 16 hexadeca-free. When their free trial of staying in contention ended, they were tasked to do battle with Audioslavia, a team that hasn't learned that last place in a group is supposed to be bad. Because of this, their Chromatika-based bout ended with Busoga teaching the 24th seeds a lesson, topping the glitched out Bulls at 1-0. Like their co-host, the Islands aim for regional glory, and with their strain of luck, it might be possible. For Qasden, this could spell either doom or just a mood of sorts. The two sides have met twice before, both in the group stage of AOCAF 59, with Qasden getting both dubs. Despite this, Busoga has been steadily growing as a dominant force ready to take over the the GSW's up and coming giant. Unfortunately for them, the Vans have the Kit Theory on their side; so while the match may be played at the Dukuma Oval straight up in Busoga, it is Qasden that'll get to wear the red-blue jersey this go around. Though the question now remains uncertain: Is the theory a myth? Stay tuned, stay updated, and stay alert for future conspiracies and match reports, right here from a seat in the press box at the AOCAF 62 Quarterfinals!

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[Banija]

Are you ready for the Quarterfinal of your liffeeee?

Give me a hey! Give me a Cuttttt-Offf!

Quarterfinal Scores

Sarzonia 1–0 Starblaydia
Busoga Islands 1–4 Qasden*
Dogsmouth 1–1 Baker Park (2–2 AET) (1–4 pen.)
Banija 4–3 Krytenia*

*=Match scorinated by the Plough Islands.

Semifinal Matchups
Qasden₁₆ v. Sarzonia₄. Venue: The Capitalizt Dome(cap. 144,000) in Chromia, Chromatika.

Baker Park₁₄ v. Banija₂. Venue: Dave Wilson Stadium(cap. 105,900) in Woodstock, Sarzonia.

[Starblaydia]

[Sarzonia]

The only question for any Sarzonian national team supporters who may have missed watching the quarterfinal match between the Stars and longtime football rivals Starblaydia was who would have the honour of ejecting the Purple Peril from the airlock.

It would be a combination of players. Jake Campos, who scored the lone goal of Sarzonia's 1-0 victory. Brady Reynolds, who assisted on Campos's 47th minute tally and confounded the Starblaydia defence all night with precision passing and deft control of midfield. Charlie King shutting down Starblaydia's offence time and time again. Paolo Gomes for making three routine saves.

Nicola Mentes decided to let the entire team crowd around the airlock as he played the strands of an old Beck song just before the doors to the airlock opened.

Sarzonia launched Starblaydia into space with a flourish as Reynolds smirked at his reference to the Purple Peril as the Sultans of Sus was replayed on a regional sports channel. As the announcer commented on Reynolds' sly comment invoking the Starblaydian insult, reserve goalkeeper Carlton Sandt interjected, "hey! They're playing 'Sultans of Swing' right now!"

"You're right!" King said, telling anyone within earshot that he could recognise Mark Knopfler's guitar work anywhere. "I have every album Dire Straits and he ever put out. Plus, I've seen him in concert a few times."

The Stars would soon turn their attention to a quick trip to Chromatika for a battle against one of the Cinderfella teams of the 62nd edition of the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football: Qasden. They defeated co-hosts Busoga Islands 4-1 to punch their tickets to Chromatika opposing the Stars.

"They're playing to strong form right now, " Mentes said. "We're going to have to be ready for them."

The other semifinal will pit fellow co-host nation Banija against the other Cinderfella team remaining in AOCAF, Baker Park, who just elected Dogsmouth 4-1 in penalties after regulation ended level at 1 and extra time finished level at 2. That match will be played at Dave Wilson Stadium in Woodstock.

"We wish we were playing at home," Campos said. "That said, we're excited that Dave Wilson Stadium get to host such an important match."

"Fuck yes!" came a reply that caused many Stars players to look around in shock. It was Gomes. In English. And now, Sarzonia had one more thing to celebrate.

[Banija]

Kadongo Kamu controversially hold on against Krytenia to advance to their second ever AOCAF Semifinal


Banijan players celebrate the team's fourth goal against Krytenia

HERZEGOVINA CITY, MORAVICA- This latest defense of the Unofficial World Championship belt was our most interesting yet. Banija's 6th AOCAF Quarterfinal in 8 tournament appearances, it is definitely a stage that we are used to. But it is not a stage that we are used to having success in. Entering the match, Banija had an all-time 1-4 record in AOCAF Quarterfinals, with our only AOCAF Quarterfinal before this heavyweight bout with Jaffacakes-Philips' cyan champions of the Cup of Harmony coming in AOCAF 58. Of course, that quarterfinal was different than all the others- that one was on home soil. So outside of Banija itself, our national team is 0-4 in AOCAF Quarterfinal matches. Fortunately for Banija, however, this match would take place in Banija, in Herzegovina City, so you don't have to think about those.

Think about our quarterfinal appearances in this tournament. AOCAF 55, our first ever entry. Stunning the world by beating an Eshan team on penalties in the Round of 16 that had smashed us a week earlier in group play. Qasden downed us in the Quarterfinals. AOCAF 56, losing to eventual champions VIlita & Turori. AOCAF 57, losing to eventual runners-up Cosumar. AOCAF 58- on home soil, in this very stadium here in Herzegovina City, we downed Mriin 3-0, en route to our first ever AOCAF Final, only to lose in Busukuma to our archrivals, Equestria, by a score of 4-2. While Ko-oren and Siovanija & Teusland delivered us Round of 16 knockout punches in back to back tournaments, we exacted revenge upon Ko-oren in AOCAF 61 to get back to the quarterfinals, only to fall to Chromatika on penalties. And now- here we are again.

Familiar venue. But unfamiliar opponent. By our count, we don't have any history of competitive games against Krytenia. But it's one of those rare matchups- a competitive clash of WCC champions. The reigning Cup of Harmony winners against the reigning World champions. Outside of dedicated tournaments(the Cup of Champions and the sometimes associated Eagle's Cup), it's not something that happens often. Marcus Waters spoke about the significance of that. "Well, Jaffacake-Philips is a well respected manager in this business." The Hall of Fame manager said. "He's won at the highest levels, including taking home the Cup of Harmony itself. They're a team that knows how to navigate a tournament, and win in all sorts of ways. They're known for their attacking prowess- but in that Cup of Harmony Final, they grit and grind their way to a 0-0 after 120 minutes, and then won on penalties. Holding their nerve, playing together, staying focused- something the cyan are quite capable of doing."

They were in the midst of coming off of a highly emotional and draining win over Hapilopper in the Round of 16, however. A late, late goal, in the 4th minute of stoppage time, was the decider in a 4-3 victory. It can be hard to start again after coming down from such a high. Banija, while in an evenly contested, 2-1 win over Mriin in the Round of 16, had all of their goals in the first half of that match to avoid some of the high drama from late goals. Idai Uster in the 17th, Idi Mboge for Mriin in the 28th, and then Madu Okparra scoring what turned out to be the winner in the 34th minute. An interesting and competitive second half- but no goals.

It puts you into a different sort of mind state. And the Banijans focus has been solely focused on accomplishing their goals for this tournament. While they struggled for large parts of Phase 1, winning only one of their first five matches, they've been strong since, having won four of their five matches since. This team has a focus and a drive. And as the game kicked off, Marcus Waters wanted to go after Krytenia early. To test to see if they were still comign down from the emotional high of a last second win a few days before, in Flavovespia. It would be the Holdenberg City wide midfielder Samba Ogunsola who would score first, heading home a perfect cross from Madu Okparra in just the sixth minute to give the Kadongo Kamu a 1-0 lead in front of their home fans.

But the Krytenians were not rattled. Maybe they needed a little bit of time to settle in, as Star Field's normally raucous environment was roaring against them. But despite Banija's early goal, despite all the energy in the building(save for the cyan travelling fan section) going one way, Krytenia would go in the other. Even without Neil Smith, Krytenia have a wealth of attacking options going forward. They would be able to sustain attack for about 4 or 5 minutes after Banija's goal, determined to not let the hosts get a stranglehold on the match so early. In the 12th minute, our team had a swift counter-attacking opportunity, with a curling Namakula Kawesa strike bending just wide of the post. But a few minutes later, young striker Alun Belmwr, just 20 years old, would equalize himself for Krytenia. James Aitken, who gave away a penalty in the Round of 16, put memories of that away. He had a brilliant long ball to Belmwr, one that got the young striker behind the defense and saw Belmwr chip the ball over the head of Francois Tantoh, the Banijan goalkeeper, and into the back of the net.

Just like that, 15 minutes in, it was 1-1. But over the next half an hour, it was all Banija. Marcus Waters gameplan was to go out and try to suffocate Krytenia- blow past them, keep endless pressure on the defense of Jaffacakes-Philips. He believed that Banija had the talent to overwhelm the Krytenia defense, at least for a time. And Waters did so. THere was brilliant ball movement and a multitude of scoring opportunities for the Kadongo Kamu, plenty of which they would take. A four pass sequence saw a tap from Ilman Jawara to a one time left footed strike for Idai Uster, who got the ball past Damien Carpenter to make it 2-1 in the 22nd minute. A few minutes later, a cross from Madu Okparra was punched away by Damien Carpenter, but straight to a waiting Mzukisi Nzo. Nzo brought the ball down, stepped right, and put the ball into the top corner, making it 3-1 to the Banijans in the 26th.

But we probably had our best moment of the match in the 42nd minute. We had been pressing for a fourth goal for a while, but for a few minutes Krytenia had gotten the better of the match, pushing forward to try and halve Banija's lead before halftime. But we had a brilliant counter-attacking move. Flying down the center of the pitch with Namakula Kawesa, players racing. She passed the ball towards the sidelines to Madu Okparra, who played it forward to Ilman Jawara. Jawara received the ball, and played it on the ground towards the center of the pitch. It would be the Jinja City FC player Musa Gaye who would have the opportunity to strike it first time. While he hit the crossbar, it would be Namakula Kawesa who was first to the ball, and she tapped it into the back of the net.

4-1 at halftime. The Banijans looking like they've already got their eyes on the semifinal. But Krytenia would not bow out. Jaffacakes-Philips was retiring after this game, he did not want this to be his last game. While the Banijans switched to a back 4 to try and see this through, Krytenia came at them with all they have. "It's the mark of a champion, to never get down and never give in, no matter how a match is going." Marcus Waters told reporters. "And they're champions- they are the holders of the Cup of Harmony. I wasn't surprised at their second half flurry."

The Krytenians were dominant for the entirety of the second half. But for a large portion of it, even though they were controlling play, they were controlling the pace and possession, they simply could not put one past Francois Tantoh. But then, in the 73rd minute, the floodgates opened. Apollo Peters was able to spin past Alanso Tibamba and find the bottom right hand corner, cutting the Banijan lead from 4-1 to 4-2. He raced into the net, fished the ball out, and raised his hands to the small cyan section in the upper corner of the stadium, who were cheering. The Krytenian bench was cheering too, as they were all-in. Could it truly happen?

It wouldn't take that long for every Banijan in the country to truly start knawing away at their fingernails. Just 5 minutes later, in the 78th minute, 20 year old striker Alun Belmwr had the ball about 25 yards out from goal. He decided to go ahead and take a hit, considering none of his teammates were open- and he had quite a hit. Goal of the tournament contender surely. Out of nowhere, he was going top shelf and find the corner. He turned around and raced to the center line, while that cyan fan section was getting more and more clearly audible not only in the stadium, but even in the TV broadcast. Apollo Peters had raced into the net to fish out the ball, and race it to the center line.

This was no luck that got these goals. Krytenia was fully in control of the match now, with 12 minutes left to equalize. The Banijans desperately trying to avoid allowing an equalizer. A cross from Joshua Kelnic found an open Ross Green, who headed the ball towards goal but was denied by a diving Francois Tantoh. Samuel Johanssen had an opportunity to score as well, hitting a shot one time from 15 yards, hitting it with such pace that all Tantoh could do was watch. Unfortunately, he needed a little bit more accuracy, as the Banijans got lucky. It was bare centimeters over the crossbar. His 87th minute strike was 6 inches from glory, 6 inches from tying the game.

The fourth referee signaled for 6 additional minutes. Plenty of time, as Krytenia pushed forward, searching for an equalizer. The real controversial moment happened in the 4th minute of stoppage. A cross in from Kelnic found Apollo Peters just beyond the back post. He had no angle to try and head the ball towards goal, however, so he headed it back down across the six yard box. As the ball got to the feet of Alun Belmwr, Tibamba made a desperate sliding challenge. He went through the body of Belmwr and got the ball only after. As Tantoh picked up the ball, Belmwr threw up his arms and the Krytenians were raging.

It looked like a penalty. But the VAR would not review it. The referee waved off incensed protests from the Krytenian players. The Banijans saw out the final two minutes, but that moment would dominate post match discussion. When the captain, Kuma Bultum, was asked about it, he was nonchalant on whether the foul was a penalty. "No penalty was given, what can I say? I haven't had a chance to see a replay yet. All I know, is that we had one hell of a battle with Krytenia and now we've got to recover so we're ready in a few days to play in Woodstock."

Many post match commentators though, agreed that the Kadongo Kamu were fortunate. Just listen to Matthias Muhumuza, a former national team striker who does soccer analysis for public radio. "Look, considering the way momentum was going, we got lucky. It looked like a clear penalty to me- the tackle went straight into the body for Belmwr before it touched the ball. It has to be a penalty. The Video Assistant Referee was sleeping at the wheel, I guess. But if that penalty gets called, Belmwr almost assuredly buries it and we get extra time, and Krytenia would have been the favorites to win in extra time, considering they came back from 4-1 down."

We imagine that there are a bunch of angry Krytenian soccer fans right now. Still- what a match, what a comeback, what a quarterfinal. This will put Banija in our first AOCAF semifinal since AOCAF LVIII, where we will take on Baker Park in Woodstock, Sarzonia, for a chance to compete in the AOCAF 62 Final. Our next edition, of course, will come with a full preview of that match.

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

BP through to last 4 in dramatic style
Scott McCrae
The Mail on Sunday National Soccer Writer

The Commonwealth National Team has advanced to the Semi-Final of the AOCAF for the third time in the last five tournaments--dating back to their co-hosting of AOCAF LVIII--with a victory against a Dogsmouth side that stood toe to toe with the region's fifth ranked team only to have the misfortune to come up against Zack Johnston, who was the difference after 120 minutes and penalties.

The unquestioned best keeper in the National League turned aside two penalty kicks in the shootout to see the Bees win 4-1, after the scores remained level following full time (1-1) and 30 additional minutes (2-2).

Alicia Craig scored the only BP goal in regulation, the beneficiary of an Ayana West run off the ball that drew the defense away to allow her Sherwood Forest Ladies teammate to get her second tally of the competition.

The Dogi had the Commonwealth on the ropes at half-time of extra time, having gone ahead with a goal in the 99th minute, but Nicole D'Amico blasted a free kick to the upper far corner from 25 yards out with 5 minutes left, then converted a spot kick as well.

The result means that Baker Park will face the #1 ranked co-hosts for the first time since Banija captured the World Cup, although the match will on neutral ground at Dave Wilson Stadium in Woodstock, Sarzonia; the Stars also advanced to the last four, where they will meet Qasden in the other Semi-Final at The Capitalizt Dome in Chromia.

Manager Jen Prescott has now taken a squad to the AOCAF medal round for the second time, and she admitted that this 5 match unbeaten run gave a huge amount of satisfaction.
"I talked about how proud I was of the players after the last match, but it's extremely satisfying to see tangible growth, constant improvement when things don't always smooth themselves out right from the start."

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

© Sporting Times Daily 2020
Banija v BP: getting the band back together?
by Mindy Cartwright, National Soccer Editor

When Christa Vuckovic confidently fired the fourth Baker Park penalty kick into the back of the net, the reverberations were felt far beyond Mavuto Field and even the city of Hoima.

It meant there would be at least one team from the top 10 sides in Atlantian Oceania in the semifinals, and it put the Commonwealth National Team onto a collision course with their longtime friends and most played rival, the host nation.
Although the matchup wasn't made official until a few hours later when Banija controversially dispatched Kytenia 4-3 in the fourth quarterfinal, there was already buzz outside the stadium and in the dressing room; in the last three even-numbered regionals, the Bees have made the final four each time and will look topple the nation who has been most closely intertwined with Baker Park since its beginnings in the NS Era.

The ties between Banija & the Commonwealth have been well-documented—both side qualified for their first World Cup Final in the same cycle, following the Kingdom co-hosting the Baptism of Fire where BP leaped into the consciousness of multiverse soccer; co-hosted AOCAF 58, where the Kadongo Kamu reached the final while the Bees took 3rd; and faced off in the 3rd Place match in World Cup 85, their only previous meeting in a competitive situation. They've met nine times previously (not including 2 matches in the Baker Park Open Cup between the ladies' sides) of which five have ended in a stalemate.

Notwithstanding the more recent diplomatic successes between the tournament's co-hosts, with a helping hand from Belle Haven, there will probably not be much of a feel good atmosphere once the ball is kicked, as the Bees will look to knock-off the number one ranked side and defending World Cup Champions; on paper, there should be little doubt about the outcome—coming into the competition, the BP squad contained 10 players who had made 5 or fewer international appearances for the senior team, along with another 3 who had 27 caps combined. The experience factor will be heavily in the favor of the Kadongo Kamu, although the venue—Dave Wilson Stadium in Woodstock—could be a mitigating factor. And we know what is said about matches not being played on paper.

Another factor to consider is the mental state of both sides; BP come in knowing they have exceeded expectations, even surpassing what was though possible at the midway point of this tournament. On the other side, as the top team, Banija is certainly aware that they getting the very best effort out of everyone they face, as their matchday 1 defeat to Audioslavia showed.

Vuckovic, who plays for Tropicorp FC in the Vilitan League, is one several players who have made this championship their coming out party, along with Nicole D'Amico, scorer of the goal that sent the Dogsmouth match to penalities; Amy Reynolds on right wing, who has gone the full 90 minutes in all 6 appearances; Alicia Craig from Sherwood Forest Ladies, who's carried over her club partnership with Ayana West to cause headaches for defenses; and Freddie Altman, who struggled early during the group stage but has settled in with three solid performances in a row.

additional notes:
--The FAC announced that the squad will continue with the away strip worn for 3 of the last 4 matches, with black shorts in place of the usual all white look.
--Win or lose, all four semifinalists will make one final trip back to the GSW for either the Third Place match or the Final at the Stadium of Restoration in Busukuma.
--The match will be number 280 of the NS Era for the NT, and the 690th all time.
--as there was for the World Cup Final, there will only be a minor change in police presence in Mansfield during the period from 90 minutes prior to, and 2 hours after the match.

"Well maybe it is just the time of year
Or maybe it's the time of man
I don't know who I am
But you know life is for learning

We are stardust
We are golden
we are caught in the devil's bargain
And we've got to get ourselves
Back to the garden

By the time we got to Woodstock
We were half a million strong
And everywhere there was song and celebration"

Lineup:
Johnston; Brooks, Freeman, Bauer; Rizzo, Guitierrez, Nolan, Reynolds; Gibson; Laing (C), Garvey

[Banija]

Mansfield PLDS Temple, Commonwealth of Baker Park

The Archbishop of Mansfield, the spiritual leader of the Puritan Mormon faithful in Baker Park, was standing around, organizing a party. The opportunity for a competitive semifinal between these two sides, who knew each other so well thanks to consistent matchups in friendlies and their World Cup 3PPO, was a fantastic opportunity for this Archbishop to do what he liked to do best- throw a party.

With Baker Park and Banijan flags hanging everywhere, and a beautiful warm summer day in Mansfield, he was doing just that. This temple was at the center of the Banijan community in Mansfield- and it was a great place to throw an outdoor party. They had worked to get permission from broadcasters to show the game on the big screen outside the church. And it was a neighborhood party- everyone was invited, not just Banijans who attend but plenty of Baker Park locals who lived in and around Mansfield.

It was everything you'd want from a church party. The Noon worship service was packed. And with the game at 3:30 PM locally, clear skies made for quite a fiesta. Of course, with alcohol flowing like you'd see at any street party, there was certainly a police presence. And with plenty of fans of both the Bees and the Banijans in the place, there would need to be one.

The Archbishop was sitting with the newly minted Banijan Ambassador to Baker Park, Alasan Gaye, as they attended this watch party for the game.

"Archbishop, great idea to put this party on." Ambassador Gaye told him. "It's weird to not be in Belle Haven for this. But as you've seen, I've spent plenty of late nights in Belle Haven over the past few months, helping negotiate that treaty with Busoga. It's good to get back to Mansfield for a little bit."

"It's always great to have you Ambassador." The Archbishop replied. "It's gonna be a hell of a game. You got a prediction?"

"Nah, I don't have one." Alasan Gaye replied. "I like our boys against anyone of course- but Baker Park has been a hell of a team thus far. You saw the way they took apart that Chromatika side that had been dominating so far? I think it may be the Bees year. They've gotten so close the past few years. AOCAF LVIII- lost the semifinal on penalties to the eventual champions. AOCAF 60- lost a bitterly contested semifinal, 1-0 to Ko-oren, the eventual champions. And World Cup 85 semifinal, lost to Nephara, who'd only go on to reach back to back World Cup Finals. Before the tournament you didn't really have them on your top tier contenders list- but here they are. Sure seems like their time to get over that semifinal hump and go win a major tournament, right?"

"Well, I'm not so sure about that." Said the Archbishop. "We've looked pretty good as of late. We've beaten elite opponents. We beat Audioslavia three times. We downed Qasden in the group stages. Won against both Mriin and Krytenia. You know, there's a weird stat I heard on the radio yesterday. Apparently we've won six straight major tournament knockout stage games by exactly one goal, dating back to World Cup 86. Unusually strong in close games- I don't think it's luck, I think it means something. WE can grind it out in whatever type of game. WE won a 1-0 knockout game at the last World Cup, we also won 7-6 against the Farves two games later. I think we'll make it back to Busukuma."

"You have great faith Archbishop." The Ambassador said.

"That's what they pay for me, right?" And they both shared a laugh. The Ambassador then got up in front of the crowd and give a short speech- nobody was here to listen to speeches, and he made his short. He yelled go Banija, and was cheered on by some and booed by others for other, all in good nature. They sat back and with half an hour before the match, turned off the party beats and turned on the pregame. Kids were running around, a police officer was eating a samosa, everyone was having fun. But you know what'd make a great day?

A Banijan victory tonight, of course.

[Sarzonia]

Incorporated Football Federation assistant vice chair for stadium operations Juliana Argolin submitted an application for Dave Wilson Stadium in Woodstock to host a knockout round match in the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football.

She told anyone who would listen to expect possibly a play in match, or, she thought most likely, a Round of 16 contest in AOCAF LXII.

When she saw the announcement of which match Dave Wilson Stadium was to host, she let out an excited yell, kicked off her high heels and did a happy dance. Zack Wilson was there to get ready for his last official meeting as Tyrone Manningham's boss before the second NS World Cup of Masters kicked off.

"Julie! What's going on?"

"We've been chosen to host an AOCAF semifinal!"

"No shit? That's fucking awesome!" It would be the biggest match played at Dave Wilson Stadium since the third place playoff there during World Cup 57. It easily surpassed the final of the inaugural World Cup of Masters the venue hosted.

Argolin gathered the support staff responsible for keeping the place as clean as the first day the media were able to enter the building. She motioned out to the grass first.

"I want this stadium to be in pristine condition," she said. "No wads of chewing gum under the armrests, no cups on the floor, beautifully maintained lawn."

Even if they had to paint over dirt to give the illusion that it was that way. This would be the most important match hosted at Dave Wilson Stadium since the 3PPO the last time Sarzonia co-hosted a World Cup. That was when Dave Wilson himself was Stars manager.

It was a different era, but the great-grandson of the legendary Stars manager felt the importance of Dave Wilson Stadium being chosen to host an important match.

"We want this to be right," he said.

[Qasden]

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It's Been So Long

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By Tomathan Hammerland

DUKUMA- It would go without objection that the Banijans would be first mentioned among few as the catalytic beacon of the Glorious Southwest's new age of footballing dominance. Our Azeruian brothers have taken a liking to being ranked as the overall number 1, both in the region and out, even going as far as to win the 86th World Cup and carry the UWC title for a now nearly double-digit reign, now even eyeing their 1/4 chance at taking the AOCAF with them. For now, all is certain that their future is bright, but for Qasden, the closest we've had to tasting regional glory had past us by many moons ago, back in the old days of Jon Merritt.

It was AOCAF 55, the OldVans were in their arguable prime, coming off of three consecutive World Cup cycles that could only be described as the greatest moments of the Merritt Era: Back to back trophies in the Cup of Harmony chased down with the nation's first appearance at the World Cup Proper. Not only that, but the country had gotten to serve as host of the 71st Cup of Harmony with sights on the 67th Baptism of Fire becoming an ever increasing rumor. It was an absolutely euphoric time to be a Qad, but even in the now-called "Silver Age" of Vans football, the AOCAF still stood as the greatest reality check there was. Blow after blow, Qasden couldn't get very far past the first round of knockouts which, in their own right, were hard to come by in the first place. Yet something would be different about AOCAF 55, something that wouldn't kick off until the final matchday of the group stage. At this point, Qasden had a single point in the group, acquired from an early draw against Nuovo Serone. To advance with certainty, they'd need to beat a strong Demot team with enough flying colors to overtake them in standings. While the Vans would indeed escape, the wounded team would be lured by the Round of 16 like an oblivious chicken being beckoned into a foxhole, ranking last among the runner-ups and given a rematch against Vilita & Turori, a regional mitochondria that had already grounded Qasden to a pulp in the group stage. Despite all known laws of football, the Vans stunned the Eel-Cat Things in a goal fest entertaining enough that extra time had to be allotted just for the two sides to keep going. Waiting to congratulate them, of course, would be Banija, though not the overpowered Banija we know of today; rather a Kadongo Kamu that was only then getting off the ground. While an intense battle, it would be the likes of Owais Lumiere of all people who'd punch Qasden's ticket to Cloudsdale, the first semi-final appearance they had been a part of (excluding the Baptism of Fire and B2B Cup of Harmonies). While the Vans would go on to lose both the semi and subsequent third place match, the tournament's success remained a deciding factor in the legacy of Jon Merritt that'd reign alongside the CoH titles up until Belle Haven, the definitive end of the Silver Age and Qasden's string of hardware-worthy achievements.

Since AOCAF 55, the most remarkable thing Qasden had done in tournaments since then were qualifying for the World Cup on multiple occasions to the point of desensitizing Qads to the phenomenon. The tragedy at Belle Haven led to the Drucati and Cralt-Nirlo Eras, combined of which would last a fraction of their predecessor following failed campaigns in the regionals. Soon after the dismissal of Fox, we would see the rise of the Bjarnasson Era, in which early potential (a Round of 16 appearance in WC82 coupled with a Quarter-Final finish in AOCAF 59) would later be drowned out by a series of devastating performances, ending with a break in the country's long qualifying streak and failure to receive an invitation to the Cup of Harmony it once ruled. Now, in today's age and the reason why I even bothered to bring back old memories, we see the start of the Zimari-Era; and while some may be skeptical of her possibilities to repeat the managers before her, Sylvia has brought upon us all the sensation of a welcomed deja vu.

In Phase 2 of our current tournament, the Vans struggled against regional titans like Banija and Starblaydia in the first matches of the group, failing to score a single point and feared the risk of a play-in against a League C winner. To avoid this, Qasden would need to defeat Audioslavia, which they would ultimately accomplish, 1-0. After a quick run-in and victory over Gallavrynga in the Round of 24, the NewVans would hold the 16th seed going into the Octofinals, doomed to face the #1: Vilita & Turori. The Eel-Cat Things had been on a hot streak and were ambitious in their goal to battle Starblaydia in the semis later on. However, beyond the minds of all sports book experts, Vilita & Turori's path of destruction would be halted prematurely at the hands (feet?) of one Shug de la Fontaine, whose single goal would be the deciding factor for Qasden moving on to the quarter-finals at the home of their next opponent: the Busoga Islands. The Busogans were having a run of a lifetime in their own definition, getting promoted to League A for Phase 2 and earning themselves a bye to the Round of 16, where they'd later defeat a rebounding Audioslavia to doom the career of Sean Patterick. Going into the match, there were many questions for the Vans left unanswered, particularly with the Kit Theory from fans now being debunked by the win over Vilita & Turori. Initially reports had indicated the possibility of Qasden playing in their Rushmori-made Red-Blue kits for the match, which had so far proven to be effective in all its matches. However, when players entered the lockers (and for fans, when they walked onto the pitch), it was revealed that the NewVans were not quite done with the Calico jersey, a shocking lament for those who thought of Ballina as a one-time fluke to the kit's curse. As the mix of hype and trepidation began to settle in, the first whistle was blown.

Within just minutes of the match opening its gates, Busoga would strike first in the form of a clean shot from Captain Kamu Jacobs coming off of a post bar rebound. 0-1 already, the dejection in T.V. City fan zones was spreading rapidly. No Qad match since Phase 1 had an end result where both teams scored, fearing that Dukuma would be the final addition to that statistic. The game carried on and, like the Round of 16, another fan conspiracy would be deafened by the NewVans surprising amount of strength this time. 24 minutes in, Jaylyn Bone would get a lucky rebound from a deflected shot from Ike Sexton, tying the match at 1 each. about the same time later, in stoppage prior to the half, the Vans would get a second goal to their name, courtesy of midfielder, Osmund Blackbourne. Qasden's strength was increasingly rapidly throughout the match, and Varnham's Vanguard was becoming ever increasingly adapted to incoming offenses from Busoga. 76th minute, Bone gets his 2nd of the game, extending the lead to a comfortable 3-1. Vans fans at home, much like the Busogan home crowd, couldn't believe that Qasden was actually putting on a show goal-wise for once. At 82 minutes, our own captain, Michelle McCracken, would fly one over the keeper's arm, putting one more stake into the hosting archipelago before the final whistle. 4-1 Qasden, a triumph for both the team and country alike that no one thought would happen. For the first time in 7 cycles, the Vans are heading to the AOCAF Semi-Finals!

While the Islanders played a hell of a game, their road ended at the leadership of Sylvia Zimari, a young Qad now more accomplished in the tournament than that of her past 2 predecessors. The NewVans, partially doused in champagne, leave the Busogas for the Nefarious Northeast in hopes of coming back for the Final in Busembe. Before we get ahead of ourselves in this acceptable state of hysteria, let's take a gander at the semi-finals once more.

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Across the final bridge stands 2 of our most storied and closest rivals in the region (one-sided, at least): Baker Park and Banija. The Bees, bringer of Belle Haven and ender of Qad managers, return to the forefront of AO greatness seeking to reach the Finals for the first time in association history (don't we all). After nudging Tropicorp in the Round of 24, Baker Park went on to get revenge against undefeated Chromatika in the most brutal way possible, liquidating the Anomalies 5-1 in an absolutely terrifying performance in Flavovespia. Looking to capitalize off their newfound bloodlust, Baker Park then travelled to Hoima to face the last League B team remaining, Dogsmouth, for the chance at reaching the ever-coveted UWC Final. After a fiercely intense battle between them, it all came down to penalties, an event that saw the Southern Calanian keeper shine brighter than his Dogi counterpart, ending 4-1 BP. Very sus indeed, but it'd only be more sus if they were to beat their now deity-level opponent. As we said before, Banija was just taking off in AOCAF 55; now, they're in the air with no plans on landing. After decisively handling Mriin in the Octos, the Kadongo Kamu were challenged by the Cyan Dragons of Krytenia for their undisputed UWC crown. While the match ended up becoming very much so disputed, Banija kept their crown, with Krytenia's hopes of reviving the semi-final meme being dashed once more. Now, having to leave home soil for the final time this tournament, The Banijans face Baker Park with nothing short of Margaret getting in their way to acquire their 3rd title to be held at one point. The showdown will be taking place in Woodstock, Sarzonia; which opens a great transition into the other half of the final 4.

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Indeed, ladies and stray cats outside office buildings in T.V. City, the NewVans' second-to-last opponent of AOCAF 62 is none other than Sarzonia! Who would've thought this would be a semi in a group containing Star & Vilita, right? The Stars debuted back in AOCAF 59, where they left in the group stage with just 2 wins. Despite this, Sarzonia came back for the diamond anniversary tournament, winning their group and claiming the 4th seed overall, only to be dashed in penalties by Chromatika in the Round of 16. This penalty loss would appear again in the next tournament, where they would lose a narrow Octofinal match against the eventual champions, Starblaydia. You see, despite the struggles, Sarzonia came to play and to play they did. In this tournament, Nicola Mentes' efforts gave the Stars a 4th seed overall bye to the Round of 16, where their repeated offense of losing was snapped by an outstanding 4-1 victory over AOCAF 60 champions, Ko-oren. In the quarter-finals, Sarzonia used their prowess in uncharted territory to take revenge against the Starblaydians, shocking the purple-clad defending champions in a decisive 1-0 victory in Istria. With the two most recent AOCAF champions downed by their hands, the Stars are setting themselves up greatly for an epic clash against the UWC titleholder in the Championship to succeed those they defeated. However, one more thorny shrub stands in their way from dominance: us! With the Vans scheduled to wear the Red-Blue jersey for the match, Kit Theorists point to Qasden's overall success this tournament while wearing the Siru attire, going undefeated in every match they've been donned. However, if deja vu treats us right, and if this really is a repeat of our run in AOCAF 55, then Sarzonia will provide the greatest test to both Sylvia Zimari and the Kit Theorists going into the match at the Capitalizt Dome in Chromia, Chromatika.

Can Qasden do the unthinkable and reach the AOCAF Final for the first time in association history? Or will Sarzonia take that claim to fame instead, leaving Zimari and the NewVans scrounging for a confident bronze? Stay tuned, stay updated, and stay alert for our next report, live from the Northeastern-most point of the AOCAF 62 Semi-Finals!

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[Banija]

In honor of the defending champions and their AOCAF Us Series... I hereby present you with your AOCAF semifinal cutoff song.

Semifinal Scores

Qasden 1–0 Sarzonia
Baker Park 3–1 Banija*

*= Scorinated by Tikariot.

Third Place Playoff
Sarzonia₄ v. Banija₂. Venue: Lakiska City Cricket Park(54,000) in Lakiska, South Island, Busoga Islands.

AOCAF LXII Final
Qasden₁₆ v. Baker Park₁₄ . Venue: Stadium of the Restoration(91,835) in Busukuma, National Capitol Region, Banija.

[Starblaydia]

We know there's a Champion among us,
As we saw memes that were delicious.
But is it one who's hat is a plus
Or the one who's flag is a fuss?

46 entrants sent home on the bus
Through lies, deceit and mistrust
Both Qas and BP are dead sus
So now it's time to...

[Sarzonia]

The good news? The Sarzonian national team were guaranteed to play two more matches in the 62nd Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football. They were guaranteed to face a familiar opponent in the next match after they faced a Cinderfella Qasden side fortherighttoplayfor their third regional title.

Now for the bad news: The slipper still fit for Qasden after they defeated the Stars 1-0 to book their trip to play in the Stadium of The Restoration. Sarzonia would face off against Banija for the third time. Defending World Cup champions Banija. Current world and regional number one ranked Banija.

The Stars faced Banija twice during the first group stage, beating the Kadongo Kamu away and drawing them at Dave Wilson Stadium. Sarzonia earned four points from a possible six against Banija, sending the Stars through to the second stage as group winners.

Sarzonia would likely remember this tournament as being one where they slayed a few giants, including running the Bulls out of Woodstock, taming the Marauders of Valanora and the ageless Laborious Hawk, and ejecting Starblaydia and the Sultans of Sus from the airlock to ensure the Purple Peril would not add their eighth AOCAF title this time.

They will remember how anxious Stars supporters were at the beginning about retiring their tried and true "total football on steroids" brand of football, something that could easily be termed Sarzonian football, in favour of a more attack-minded system favoured by new manager NicolaMentes. They'll recall the feeling of relief that came with Sarzonia slipping out of the first group stage with a title, then seeing the Stars sneak into the knockout rounds with the group crown and a top four seed.

Mostly, they'll remember a Sarzonia team that finally announced to a region of football heavyweights that it made weight and were ready to throw haymakers. They would stare down top 10 teams multiple times and refuse to back down.

They'll likely rank up when all is said and done no matter if they fall short against their newly established multi-sport rivals or if they have one last bit of magic left in the tank.

One thing is clear. Mentes was going to herald a new era of Sarzonian football, but even so, the more things change about how the Stars play football, the more things stay the same. Like even the highest ranked teams in the world knowing better than to take a victory over the Stars for granted, no matter where they play or the circumstances they faced.

And that's more important than whether the Stars take bronze or settle for being pewter medalists.

[Banija]

Banijan manager Marcus Waters at Dave Wilson Stadium in Woodstock, Sarzonia

The final whistle blew, and the Bees players started jumping up and down, celebrating their first appearance in a major tournament Final since Baptism of Fire 67. Bees players flew onto the field to celebrate their accomplishment, and Marcus Waters stared at his dejected players on the field for a moment. Then, of course, he crossed over to Jen Prescott to shake her hand.

"Hell of a game, Jen. Your players deserved it." She nodded, grinning from ear to ear, ecstatic about their now official title of Unofficial World champion, as well as their chance to crown themselves champions of Atlantian Oceania. "It's a hell of a feeling to win a semifinal- I know, I've been there. I'm not gonna hold you, but this was no fluke- your squad took ours apart tonight. Good luck in Busukuma." And he walked away. He went to his own bench, consoling some of his own players, especially the ones who were not on the World Cup 86 team.

How to respond to heartbreak was a very good test of team growth. Marcus Waters spoke about it in his press conference. "This is how the game goes sometimes." He started. "It's not easy to win a regional title in the world's toughest region. You have to grind your way to the Final, and then grind your way to a victory there. Going up against the best of the best repeatedly is exhausting, and it's not an easy task. We made it to the semifinals, which is a great run in and of itself."

"This will be a good test for our team, how we respond in the Third Place Playoff." He said. "For our young players especially- they're used to the spoils of success. We've just won a World Cup. We went undefeated in World Cup Qualifying. They aren't using to losing big games wearing the uniform. But it happens- sometimes, on a given day, your opponent will be better than you, and Baker Park were better than us by some distance on this night. But this is part of the growing pains. We have to learn to respond as a team. We did this well after a disappointing loss in the World Cup 84 Quarterfinals. But that team is over- this is a new team. We've got to learn to pick each other up, to get up and get after it in the next game. We aren't gonna sit back and simply throw in the pail in Lakiska a few days because it's a third place. We're playing an important rival for a medal. We've gotta see what went wrong and turn it around, fast."

Marcus Waters then complimented the Baker Park national team. "The Bees came out with a strategy that they liked, and that they were determined to stick to. And it was a strategy that worked. They didn't simply sit back and try to get lucky countering. They applied pressure to us, and played with the confidence of a team that felt they had nothing to lose. And they didn't have anything to lose- that kind of mental fortitude, in a game of these stakes, comes from the manager. They've got a good organization over there. They pressed hard in the midfield, they possesed the ball well, and got forward well. Johnston was a brick wall on the backline, but we got outplayed. Congratulations to them- the final will surely be exciting."

The manager then went on to talk about Banija's opponent for the Third Place Playoff, Sarzonia. "The Stars are an important rival of ours." Waters said. "We've played them a lot in a number of sports, but especially in this one. We beat them twice in AOCAF 60. We beat them twice in World Cup 85 Qualifying. But since then, they've had the upper hand. They beat us in the opening match of World Cup 85. They beat us on Matchday 2, in Banija, of this very tournament. And then we couldn't exact vengeance here in Woodstock. Three consecutive competitive matches against the Stars, ending in 2 losses and a draw. They're capable of getting forward and getting after it, and I have a ton of respect for Nicola Mentes, whose team has outplayed before in this very tournament."

Marcus Waters then, after answering a few questions, left the press conference. A long flight to Lakiska awaited him. But then, he was already plotting- how to bounce back from this? He didn't want Banija to have another bogey team opponent- they needed to figure out a way to down Sarzonia. He focused his mind on what kind of tactics he would use to deliver Banija success...