Cup of Harmony Seventy-Eight: Everything Thread

by **Jeruselem** » Tue Sep 29, 2020 9:55 pm

Princess Katherine Annabelle Dallas (aka Princess Kate) in Ethane ...

Hello this is Princess Katherine Annabelle Dallas or just Princess Kate for Naked News Jeruselem at the Cup of Harmony 78!
We're in Ethane where Group H is being hosted!
Now, I'm actually covering two match days, not one so there's bit of a time warp going on with results.

Match day 1, guess who got the bye. Yeah Jeruselem! Lucky us.
I guess it's out of the way, meaning we will be last on the table after match day 1.
So we have our bye, better than playing bye on the last day.

Oberour Ar Moro started with a bang beating Savigliane 3-1. That made a statement for sure!
Omerica held Taeshan to 1-1 draw. We expected Taeshan to win but then this cup produces some funny results.
Springmont lost badly, like 4-0 to Northwest Kalactin. Northwest Kalactin sure started well.

So the match day 1 table is Northwest Kalactin and Oberour Ar Moro on 3 points followed by Omerica and Taeshan on 1 point.
Savigliane and Springmont on the bottom due to losses on zero. We don't even appear on the table.

Match day 2 had Northwest Kalactin having a bye this time.
Taeshan were held again 0-0 by Springmont. They really should be winning.
Savigliane beat Omerica 3-2 for their first win.

Jeruselem played Oberour Ar Moro who won their first game.
Well it seems our favourite coach decided this thing called defending was secondary to offense today.
It kind of worked, because we scored 4 goals and conceded 4 at the same time.
We did some good work in the front but fell over at the back when our tactics allowed our opponent to counterattack.
I can see some fantastic potential for our team to really score a lot of goals but a lack of structure at the back allows our opponents to respond.
We play best when we're ahead then shut the shop when we're holding a lead.
We're not good just outright attack for the whole game, due to the number of mistakes we make.

Which leaves the table for Group H. Oberour Ar Moro lead on 4 points. Northwest Kalactin are still 2nd on 3 but Savigliane have 3 points from their win to be 3rd. Taeshan on 2 points in 4th and then us on 1 point in 5th. We're not last anymore, YAY. Omerica and Springmont also have 1 point with sucky goal differences.

I would't read much into match day 1 and 2 too much but it's clear some teams have come here with intent like Oberour Ar Moro and Northwest Kalactin. Top seed Taeshan's two draws are a little underwhelming.

In the other games, Group E. We have a weird table. The Jovannic are last with two losses but the other 6 teams have one win each although Twicegratia and Xanneria have played their byes so they are a better position than it looks.

Group F is a one sided affair with Astograth and South Newlandia with maximum points and everyone else. HUElavia and Sulsuland had byes to they can make up ground later.

Group G is Vdara leading on 6 points. Then three teams on 3 points and the rest. Maccian have played only one game and used the bye so for them, they can gain ground. Last played Riena also had the bye.

It's early days for us, we can still make up ground as others have byes.
Provided we don't start losing games.

There's positives from our only game but you know, we can do a lot better.
We conceded 4 goals and that might hurt our goal difference at the end.
Every game in Groups A to D, no one scored or conceded 4 goals.
Groups E to H, actually a lot of one-sided wins including some 4-something wins.
But our game generated 8 goals in one game.
We have to improve, the opposition can see our weaknesses from this game.

From here, we can make the next stage but it's not going to be easy.
We haven't even played our friends Taeshan either.
We really need to beat them, as we don't want to be facing a higher seed in the 2nd round if we make it.

Apologies for my lack of videos on Beat Saber and Fall Guys live streamig because I'm here and not at home.
Well if we don't qualify for this cup, we'll be back home anyway.
Yes, I get asked why Daisy isn't here! That's because she's got kids and well, all that travel gets a bit old.
I mean she had to travel for like 9 away games out of the 18 in the World Cup 86.

I get asked why I'm so mean to poor Boris.
I had to deal with him for World Cup 85 and I'm not one to sugar coat a bad situation.
The fact we're here in Ethane after pretty much bombing out the World Cup 86 after a shocking first half of qualification - doomed us to pretty much not even being close.
Yes we could win this cup but looking at our competition, we'd better step up our game first.

Just a rant here, I'm disturbed by some people in the media from ... particular demographics, like older conservatives defending the behaviour of the recently arrested people doing bad sexual things to ... children.
Particularly from one channel, which I'm not naming.
All I'm going say is ... parents, keep your kids away from these people because they think they have a divine right to use kids as play things for their own benefit.

Well, that's it from me. Hopefully our team can string together two wins for match day three and four.
I wouldn't put any money on that though.

by **Twicetagram and JYPe** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 3:53 am

Home >> Sports >> International

Ryoviste: Glad to see Dargozhov being the influential captain once again

Dargozhov celebrates as he puts one past Chatelet
by Antonov Vasiliev

New Sarum, Ethane- A goal-fest saw the Lieutenants beat a strong Tikariot side to a well-deserved 3-2 win. Goals from (Daniil) Vasiliev, (Augustin) Vladimirescu and Dargozhov made sure Twicetagria secured the 3 points in the match.

After a drama-less first 10 minutes, Vasiliev was the first to break the deadlock with a thumping header towards the Tikariot goal. A well-taken goal was assisted by an impressive corner kick from Aug. Vladimirescu, who seems to back back in diamond form. It only took the opposition however to make it 1-1, with Iain Aspinall beautifully slotting in a cheeky chip against Han, assisted by a Sheffield through ball who caught the defense napping.
The first half was met with another goal 10 minutes later. A beautiful tiki-taka from Aug. Vladimirescu and Eli Apollon led the Tikarotian defense scrambling, and Vladimirescu did well to gently hit the ball between Chatelet's legs.
The second half was much less eventful, but the later minutes made up from it. After a poorly-cleared corner from James Coronello, Rominevskiy intercepted the ball, before passing it to Dargozhov, who was on the edge of the box. Describe the huge amount of people, including defenders, in the box, Dargozhov did well to slot in a beautiful curved finesse into the top right hand corner. The stadium roared as werewolves, vampires, sentient ponies and humans alike celebrated hard, much to the disappointment of the Tikariotian fans.
Tikariot earned a consolation goal just 3 minutes later, as Adrian Grimaud one-on-oned Han, before tapping the ball into the goal. They could not salvage the game, though, as the full 90 minutes was over in Ethane.
After a wonderful performance by the Lieutenants, Ryoviste was very proud of them, but he was also quick to make them humble, "Yeah, it was a great performance. We looked intimidating in front and our attacking players were constantly taking advantage of Tikariot’s weak points. However, we and especially our defense shouldn’t be complacent because we conceded some is we should not have. If we’re going to put a good impression on everyone in our tournament and our probable hosting of the AOCAF 62 then we have to work on that.”
The Lieutenants face Murphtannia and Sylestone next. Murphtannia were our previous WCQ teammate and we should be able to beat them easily. Sylestone is one of the cohosts of the tournament, and their AO territories are holding talks with us on hosting said AOCAF. We should be able to win against them.

Also in VVS:

COH: Murphtannia shock Krytenia in COH opener
TRANSFER: Krasni Kvadrat reportedly reject ¥34.5 bid from Legothria for Ashkilovic
LEAGUE: Timberland shock Legothria in 3-4 thriller
RACING: Tania Beck criticises lack of women rights in Twicetagrien motorsports

by **Murphtannia** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 8:19 am

The complete roster has just been posted by the FA today, it is the same team that partook in the World Cup and has been published as a little book.

(I made it into a nice fact book, which is the one below.)

https://www.nationstates.net/nation=mur ... id=1424040

by **TJUN-ia** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 10:01 am

By Peter Davis

Welcome to the rainforests of Betham in Sylestone! The 3rd largest city on the island will host all matches in Group D of the 78th Cup of Harmony from The Bay Reserve, a 49,000-capacity arena with great views over Betham Bay. While the city is a few hours drive away from Kirkham (the city of sentient objects), the games played here would be played to a more human audience - TJUN-ian, Glaskopolian, Sarzonian and Sylestonean alike.

First up for David Seems' Jaguars was Rangers FC, a football club from the city of Glaskopolis - a Greekified version of the U1 and U2 city of Glasgow. Indeed, Rangers FC shared many similarities to their Scottish counterparts including a distaste for anything green and white and a tendency to believe they are the best team from their city. While they seem simple at first glance, they certainly put up a good fight here and played up to TJUN-ia's level for much of the first half. Freud Morelikis was especially difficult to deal with, often finding space out of nowhere and challenging Gylfisson's ability. However, in typical Rangers fashion, Morelikis was also the reason for TJUN-ia picking up the 3 points. In the 78th minute he gave away a sloppy penalty by handling the ball inside the box so obviously, even most people from Glaskopolis would have given it. He got a yellow card and Kepo Ulawaya slotted the resulting penalty to give TJUN-ia a lead they would hold on to and kick off their campaign in unusual circumstances.

While beating the reincarnation of the best team in Glaskopolis was great, the main focus was on Game 2 vs the Stars of Sarzonia. The last time David Seems faced Kevin Connelly in competitive play, the Stars took advantage of controversial refereeing to come back from 3-1 down to win 4-3 at CoH76. "That Game" has been on the conscious of TJUN-ian football fans ever since and with this looking like Connelly's last tournament as manager of the Stars, many hoped that this game in Betham would see the Jags avenge their demons and rise to 2-0. Unfortunately, it wasn't to be as 2 quickfire 2nd half goals Jake Campos ensured the Starts would start this campaign 2-0 instead. It was as hard as it sounds and the Stars certainly earned those points.

A win and a loss send TJUN-ia to 4th in the standings, looking to improve where ever they can. With the top 4 in the group advancing to the knockouts, Seems wasn't too concerned about the average start but made clear that "we need to keep up with the Top 2 if we are to ensure qualification". With only 1 match up next before the bye, a clash with winless Yuezhou, it will be important to secure the 3 points before the mandatory break on MD4. GO JAGS!

SCHEDULE (Group D - All group games at The Bay Reserve, Betham, Sylestone)
MD1: vs Rangers FC (141) - W 1-0 (T-2nd)
MD2: vs Sarzonia (28) - L 0-2 (4th)
-------------------BOOT IT!-------------------
MD3: vs Yuezhou (118)
MD4: BYE
-------------------BOOT IT!-------------------
MD5: vs Mavinet (73)
MD6: vs Zeta Reka and Hugeltadom (77)
-------------------BOOT IT!-------------------
MD7: vs Barunia (96)

by **Mercedini** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 10:35 am

Quickie: 78th Cup of Harmony Group Outlook
@ Senitent Oval - Kirkham, Sylestone

Good evening everyone and welcome to yet another edition of the Cup of Harmony, this time coming to you from Ethane and Sylestone in it's 78th edition. It is a jam packed schedule for everyone involved with fifty-six nations in total competing for the multiverse's second biggest post-quals tournament. Dini missed out on a spot at the group stages by finishing third, and once again go into the Cup of Harmony as the group's top seed and one of the tournament's highest ranked side. However, with so many other nations at the tournament, Mercedini have a long way to go before the end of the group stage, with six games deciding who goes through and who misses out on a knockout berth. The Golden Eagles go into the groups with the top seed, and only have to finish inside the top four to advance to the knockouts, meaning fortune is certainly on their side, at least for a little while. We have already played out first two games at the tournament, so let's see how they fared and what that means for the rest of the group.

World Cup Qualification: Double Ds

FINAL SCORE
COH | MD2
MERCEDINI 1
Dostalok 64'
TEQUILO 1
Tlacolotl 69'
Kirkham, Sylestone
Attendance - 23,629

Mercedini are yet to state their case for a second title as they were held to a stalemate in both of their opening matches, first against Graintfjall and then against dark-horses Tequilo to plant Dini solidly into mid-table but crucially in the top four with more opportunities to pick up points later in the group stage schedule. Billic's team may go through the early stages of the tournament unnoticed given the tight group, but it seems a win for any team in the group would give them a big chance to qualify, given the sheer number of qualifying spots available. Dini will be keeping a keen eye over the rest of the groups, looking at any weaknesses that their main rivals have shown thus far in a packed match listing over the two host nations.

Mercedini have four games to go to secure a spot in the top four, and on paper are firm favourites to reach at least the Round of 32. A higher placing will mean their run could be easier going through the rounds, although at these kinds of tournaments, we know taking it round by round is the key to success, as everything could come crashing down a lot quicker than you would think.

The Golden Eagles have gone into the groups as the top seed, and gone out just as quick so the taste of disappointment is still present on the lips of the former champions, but form and pedigree means you can never right off the side which has made to the semi-finals in all of the past three editions.While it may not be the Cup that many fans wanted, it is a chance of silverware and a chance to put Mercedinian football back on the map. Taking their opponents for granted is something which has up-ended many teams before, they need at least three points in the next double-header to keep their heads above water and keep the Dini-train chugging along nicely.

The Golden Eagles will play co-hosts Ethane next, before the team will take a rest day during qualifying to assess their progress and the outlook of the group. With only one match being played and the team only in fourth, they could see themselves slip out of the qualifying spots with games running out in their calendar. It is a strange situation the Dini see themselves in, and for them not too be out of sight already may already be seen as a failure in the eyes of some fans. The history is there, but it is the present that is the only things that matters right now, and even that looks uncertain the way things are going.

by **Sargossa** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 11:58 am

The room hummed with a buzz of whispered conversation. Three men had just taken their seats behind the long table set out at one end, facing the assembled media pack. Same name tags sat before each of them. Two were unnecessary, the men in question well known to the journalists present. It was the third that they’d come to see. There he was, flanked by Football Federation of Sargossa president Hernán Sandoval and Director of Elite Football Luís Molina. Sat between the pair was the new national coach of Sargossa, Brian McAllister.

Sandoval explained to the journalists before him how he had been impressed by the vision set out by McAllister at his interview. How he fully believed that the Tikariotian entirely fit the mould of someone to inject fresh ideas and fresh impetus into the national side. A national side that had now missed out on two consecutive World Cup final tournaments. In truth the FFS executive meeting in which the appointment had been eventually ratified had proven to be a fiery affair. A number of the executive riled firmly against the prospect of the assistant coach of a nation ranked more than two hundred places below Sargossa even being considered for the post. But Sandoval had stood firm. Tikariot had enjoyed a particularly impressive entry onto the international sporting stage. Their Baptism of Fire run had been narrowly ended at the quarter final stage, by another impressive newcomer to world football Graintfjall, and their debut World Cup qualification campaign finished with Tikariot still in the hunt for the playoff place going into the final round of matches, a place they’d miss by a single point.

They’d impressed, was the key point. And although Stuart Ekstrom was the chap heading the Tikariot project McAllister had played a crucial role in aiding in the creation and implementation of a tactical structure that came within a whisker of yielding a debut World Cup place for that nation. Luís Molina had been involved in the appointment process throughout but had remained largely on the fence with regards to Brian McAllister. That was until he’d been in interim charge of the Sargossan side that were battled to a standstill by Tikariot in Dhun Lagarr in a post-qualification friendly. Clearly he’d seen more than enough in the opposition that night to throw his support behind McAllister’s appointment.

So he and Sandoval sat either side of the new coach as he enjoyed, or perhaps endured, his very first media engagement with the Sargossan press corps. The theme of the majority of those questions had been obvious. Was he worried about his lack of experience? Was he concerned to adjusting to life in a new country? How did he feel his new charges would adjust to a new tactical shape? That was the big ask. How would they? Everyone present was very keen to find out. Which is why Sandoval, Molina and McAllister all were keen to get press commitments out of the way and get stuck in to both the nitty and the gritty. A two week training camp had been arranged for the squad before they flew out to Sylestone. That would be all the time the new coach had to get his ideas across before a tricky Cup of Harmony opener against Abanhfleft. For Brian McAllister it would be a second baptism of fire in quick succession.

by **South Newlandia** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 1:21 pm

Cup of Harmony coverage

South Newlandia slow and steady

Despite not producing fireworks, the Elephants enjoyed a very nice start to their Cup of Harmony group. Playing in the Marianne Detreux Stadium in Southern Hampton, a stadium that fit South Newlandian standards well at just over 20.000 seats, they took two consecutive 1-0 wins for a six point start. The games certainly didn’t produce any headlines, but the improvements were clear to see. The defensive line worked together well, with Trischuk catching two great games as well. Gurero and Anderson shut down almost everything that dared to come near the goal. The problems were found on offense, but one goal in each game was enough to be the winner, with Irving getting the early 1-0 after a corner from Green in the opening game against Ziwana, and Wallis scoring late in the second game against Indusse to get the same score after a pass from Dhruv Roy. With those two wins, the Elephants are sitting clearly into second place, tied with Astograth also on six points but with a better goal differential.
This gives the team a good chance to almost certainly qualify with the next double header already, if everything goes well. With the opponents being Sulsuland and Electrum, two more wins are certainly within the realm of possibility, even though Electrum is a former World Cup champion. Both Sulsuland and Electrum only have one point to their name so far, but as you know, the meat of the schedule only arrives in the latter two games, against Astograth and group favourite HUElavia. The former have scored a combined five goals in two shut-out victories, topping the group, while HUElavia started with only a draw. Whatever the final situation might end up being, the Elephants absolutely cannot take the next two games lightly. Starting with double-digit points in the first two double-headers might sound like a dream, but it’s not impossible for this dream to become reality. Meanwhile, the South Newlandian team can maybe even take World Cup 87 in two years into the eye if the Cup of Harmony goes well. Of course, the exact methods to qualification are still unknown, but if the team could somehow reach pot three for the qualifiers, they might gain a small chance. If the World Cup Qualifiers are played in groups of 18 again, a format both the team and the fans really liked, according to recent polls (81% approval rating for 18 group system, compared to 56% approving a 15 group system), only place 55 would be necessary to jump into pot three, because a certain Republic’s certain incident. And if we look at the rankings, that’s only ten places up from where we are right now! In the Cup of Harmony 77, the Elephants climbed 19 spaces (of course, that’s a slightly skewed statistic, because rankings are closer at the bottom and because we aren’t yet factoring in that the team will lose ranking points after BoF74), so maybe? Maybe something just might be possible. Even from pot four, you shouldn’t ignore the Elephants. If they can continue to play like they did, and back their squad up with some more rising talents, South Newlandia might be here to stay. On the other hand, a nation of four million can be considered lucky to even be on the spectrum of international football.
In other news, the South Newlandian team officials have been sighted with fish, actually a lot of fish, probably too much fish. Considering the next opponent, Sulsuland, we might be seeing some trickery of some form.

(sorry for shortness, I’ve been slightly busy :) )

by **Flavovespia** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 1:43 pm

Huayramarca 0 – 3 Flavovespia

Flavovespia made an absolute dream start to their Cup of Harmony 78 campaign. Just 45 seconds in, and Steven Hall had the time to fire a cross-field ball into the path of Jonathan Feld coming into the box from the left hand side. A tricky angle to shoot from, but Feld went for it anyway, and the ball flew just inside the near post and beyond the goalkeeper. 0-1 without a full minute on the board yet, the Flavovespians couldn’t have asked for more.

Huayramarca couldn’t rely at all now on trying to hold Flavovespia and hit on the counter, and needed to play a positive game to get back into it. Twice they tested Aarif Muhammed within 20 minutes, but on both occasions he was able to save and avoid any spillages of the ball. Flavovespia also had more chances of their own, with both Scott Coleman and Steven Hall giving the goalkeeper of Huayramarca a lot of work to do for periods of the first half. Nevertheless, at half time, the game was still 0-1.

Any fears that the game could easily turn into a one game goal settled early on were dispelled by Scott Coleman in the 50th minute. A free kick from James King wasn’t picked up by the defence, and Scott Coleman had an easy effort, and took it comfortably, to double the lead. 0-2 now, and Flavovespia were beginning to press their advantage in this Group C opener.

From there on out, Flavovespia seemed to have control of the game. Huayramarca threatened from time to time, but seemed stifled for space, and couldn’t create a clear cut chance to try and get back into the game. David Clark and David Blythe came on as substitutes for Flavovespia, to inject some energy into the side to keep their performance levels up.
Flavovespia got a late 3rd in the 84th minute to round off a fine opening match. David Blythe broke clear down the right wing, and sent in a cross. It was only headed away into the path of Christopher Ace. His first time shot was optimistic, but successful as it buried itself in the back of the net. 0-3, and Flavovespia were all but home with the 3 points. Iain Brown came on as a late substitute just to shore up the clean sheet.

Flavovespia got the start they wanted in Group C. Mattijana would defeat Flavovespia’s next opponents The Gothanita Isles 1-3, and Sargossa and Abanhfleft played out an entertaining 3-3 draw in their opening game. However, there’s still 5 matches left, and Flavovespia will need to build on their good opener to achieve their goals in this tournament.

Flavovespia 0–0 The Gothanita Isles

After a bright start to the Cup of Harmony, Flavovespia hit a bit of a bump against the group’s bottom seeded side. It didn’t look like starting that way, just 3 minutes in, and the ball in by Jonathan Feld was just beyond reach of the outstretched Scott Coleman to slide it in. He’d have another opportunity 12 minutes in, but uncharacteristically fired well wide with only the goalkeeper to beat.

The Gothanita Isles were rattled in the early minutes, but soon began to recover defensively. Feld, Hall and Ace all found room to get balls forward became limited, and King and Ahmed were forced to try and supply from the deep. They had a few good balls forward, but nothing that could lead to a clear cut chance. Although it was largely one way traffic in the first half, The Gothanita Isles did have a couple of decent efforts, so the Flavovespian defence didn’t have it all easy in the first 45 minutes.

Flavovespia were unchanged for the second half, and were hoping to find the breakthrough, having came close in the first half. James King had a free kick fly just a handful of centimetres over the bar, the best chance in the early exchanges. However with the attack of Flavovespia struggling, Christopher Ace came off for Valentine Richmond, and Jonathan Feld for William Somers.

Whilst Flavovespia had a bright spell after they came on, Somers having a shot on target, neither of the substitutes were proving to be the change needed. As the minutes ticked on, The Gothanita Isles seemed closer to a point, and some of their counter attacks suggested they could get all 3. However, no winner would be scored, and the game finished goalless. A point apiece, and for Flavovespia, the end of a 22 game streak of scoring.

Abanhfleft won 2-1 over Huayramarca and Sargossa won 1-2 over Megistos, leaving the Top 3 all on 4 points as it stands. Mattijana, Flavovespia’s next opponents were on a bye, and thus remain the last team in Group C with a perfect record. Flavovespia’s goal now is to try and go into their bye with 7 points, and a good position to qualify for the knockout stages.

by **Maccian** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 2:42 pm

The Bloodlust: Mass Arrests and Massacres Throughout Maccian

Complete and utter chaos has descended across Maccian as King Timofée has led a crusade against any dissenting opinions within the regime. Many religious leaders of all faiths barring the King's Church of Maccian have been arrested and over 10,000 religious buildings including Catholic churches, mosques, synagogues, temples have been destroyed throughout Maccian.

That is nowhere near the end of it as hundreds of journalists and known critics of the monarchy have also been arrested. And most horrifying of all, King Timofée ordered the massarce of Janseebuckans, Meissyatans and Mrekkans, mainly targeting SCHOOLCHILDREN. The perpetrators of these heinous crimes were by the Royal Guardsmen, essentially a totally loyal organisation that is clearly willing to break the laws to 'protect' the King and Maccian's interests.

Janseebuckans, Meissyatans and Mrekkans are all ethnic minorities that have been specifically targeted. It must be noted that Janseebuckans speak mainly French, whilst Meissyatans and Mrekkans are visible minorities in Maccian. Over 309,874 people, almost 80,000 of those mere schoolchildren and teenagers have been massacred from Mortvivant to Anpoise to Ampfarost. It has been reported that the King has regarded ethnic minorities as 'subhuman' and 'undesirables', showing the pure hatred he has for his own subjects.

Additionally, as much as 5,479 members of the LGBTQ+ have been murdered. Upon coming into power, King Timofée passed a law that essentially legalised government surveillance, which enabled them to spy on LGBT forums. They would then obtain their IP address and add them to a list of LGBT+ people which was in hindsight a hit-list. It is no secret that the King is both homophobic and transphobic, enacting the Protection of The Maccian Society Act which outlawed same-sex marriage and the ability to identify as a gender conflicting to the sex you were given at birth.

Former Sports Minister Naia Varaka has given out a statement in response to the massacre of innocent civilians:

"This was planned. I'm telling you these deplorable tyrants planned to massacre their own citizens because I was in the meeting with the other ministers of his cabinet drawing up plans to gather all the 'undesirables' and nuke them. Oh, what of my glorious Maccian? Look at what it has become because we have let a foreign tyrant destroy democracy and establish his own oligarchy whilst he silences and represses any semblance of our former nation. The people need to rise up and overthrow him because if we do not act now, it will be as if we are selling ourselves into slavery."

Former Propaganda Minister Aaliiya Khalifa, who seems to be cooperating with Naia Varaka, has released a statement saying that "The morally bankrupt government has shown its true colour through its authoritarian means. Maccian is a dead concept, for we need a total revolution to purge this dictatorship. Instead, we look to the original name of our land before Petchre Mackay unified the stares. Shenkizoa shall rise again, for the freedom-fighting Red Cloaks will be mobilising across Maccian fighting tyranny. If you call that little tantrum in Dolblin a civil war, then get prepared for complete and total annihilation!

by **Cheergirls** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 3:11 pm

Meghan Banks was relieved to find out that Mallory Webster would be able to play in the upcoming match against Valladares after having to sit out the first two games with a hurt foot. Webster injured that foot slightly while kicking the fridge in the hotel room to try and see if it was alive or not. It was not, and Mallory found out the hard way. Manager Sarah Drennan was not happy, however, with having to pay for the extra fee assessed by the hotel for the dent on the bottom of the fridge door that would not be able to be repaired.

“We haven’t really seen many alive appliances,” Banks said to roommate Daniella Catti, “I was kind of hoping that we would.”
“So was I,” Catti responded, “but they put us in the wrong group for that. In reality, the sentient objects are normally only present in Kirkham.”

“Bummer. Hey, do you think maybe the coach will let us go there on our not really a bye day because we will have played all of our games but they call it a bye day anyway?” Banks asked.

“Maybe, but I was just hoping to take the trip to Felton Island.” Catti said, “It is supposed to be really nice.”

“Yeah it probably is, but it would be more cool to go to the place where the talking toilets live, I think. Well, maybe we can get a choice.” Banks replied. “We probably have to stay here for the MD7 anyway because even if we don’t advance I don’t think we will be eliminated before then.”

“I don’t think so either, but if Mallory keeps kicking objects to see if they are alive then we might.” Catti replied. “Tara Milford tried to make cocoabo milkshakes for all of us but was afraid that the blender might be alive. And that if it had cocoa powder, it might act crazy.”

“Well, we need to have a team meeting to discuss the fact that sentient appliances are only found in Kirkham. The whole team seems to be a little nutty in their suspicions over things.” Banks said before trying to change the subject, “So how about Valladares?”

“Awesome coach. Love that coach.” Daniella replied.

“Why?” Banks inquired.

“She brought that team back from a terrible first half of qualifying to be real good in the second. If they had not dug themselves such a deep hole, they may have qualified.” Catti replied.

“Not good for us. Maybe bad Valladares will show up again.” Banks stated.

“I hope.”

by **Taeshan** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 4:05 pm

"Two ties to start of your international managerial career. How do you respond to that"?

"I hear only the whispers of some quiet conversations behind me after the results."

"Shiloh Morgenstern has looked less than great in the first two games, and an overall lack of skill in the midfield has many worrying about the play of your side in the attacking realm, but the defense had a cleansheet tonight and has looked good. Have you figured out the issues that plagued the defense in qualifying"?

"I see in the moonlit wings, the stars that guide us towards salvation."

"You've brought in Xander McDrew from Sleepy Hollow, your former coach and national team coach, who was a big help in getting the Knights back to the World Cup. What does this add to your coaching staff"?

"I was really hoping to find some old forgotten words or ancient melodies."

"There are some who say your early showing as manager are not what is expected, especially as they still hope for a return to form as we head to the Copa Rushmori and World Cup 87. Teams always have their rough tournaments. How do you respond to these claims"?

"I mean, it will take a lot to drag me away from you."

"Wilhelm Nkitilina said in the press a few years ago that he thought by the end of his national team career he would play in a World Cup semi-final. Now we can't even qualify for the World Cup, and he's having issues scoring against Springmont for the second time in as many years. Do you expect to see some shake-ups in the lineups if these failures continue"?

"We always figured it would take some times to do the things we've never done."

"Your wife has refused to travel to your first international tournament with you, has this affected your ability to coach this team"?

"I have been longing for some solitary company."

"Do you believe you were the right man for the job"?

"I mean I am a little frightened of this thing that I have become, but I will reach deep inside of me to seek the cure, and help us succeed."

"Your backwards tactics are even further south that the defensive minded takes of national team coaches the last 50 years, again how long do you expect that to last"?

"I feel like it could take a 100 men or more to do what I can do with this team. You'll never drag me away."

by **Tioguldos** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 4:43 pm

TROUBLE BACK HOME
Part 1: introduction

Shortly after the Red Army departed for Ethane, things began to spiral out of control back in Tioguldós. For the Tiog people, the focus of attention was no longer the Cup of Harmony. In territories still controlled by the Republic of Orkasduso, the Communist Party of North Tioguldós organized a guerrilla to fight the oppressive regime. Orkasduso had maintained strict police controls on the lands that were not liberated by the People's Liberation Army during the Revolution. The ranks of the Tiog army were too weakened after ten years of hard fighting to advance beyond the Borosó Corridor. Orkasduso's reaction to the rise of the Bonbo-Pichean forces in the west was to draw a frontier known as the 'Fuokesom Órufo.' This event closed the borders of both nations to the north, preventing support for revolutionary groups. However, the struggle for national liberation did not stop. The People's Republics made proper use of the ceasefire by organizing their armed forces. During the Tiog Revolution, the Orkasdusian Army had power far superior to that of the People's Liberation Army. Tioguldós won based on numerical superiority, use of the territory, and sabotage of strategic points. But now the PLA is much more organized. It is in a position to face the defense of the Borosó Corridor and has the support of guerrillas within the enemy territory.

There used to be a de jure democracy under the Orkasdusian rule. However, it consisted of a few majority parties sharing power, obstructing the workers' parties from taking control, and keeping a large part of the Tiogs in deplorable conditions. Despite the natural wealth of Tioguldós, part of the population did not have access to a healthy diet, many couldn't get an education, and even among those who did, lots of them had to work exhaustively and go into debt to the hilt. In the decades before the Revolution, there were two attempts to reform the State, which were severely repressed by the network of imperialist forces. In the first instance, in the year 33 Before the Revolution, a candidate promised to return the people's control over the mineral wealth of the soils of Tioguldós. In the elections, there was an obvious fraud. The media did not say much about it. The big parties of the bourgeoisie, owners of the mass media, continued to share the power, while the humble workers' party could not raise the money for an electoral campaign under that system, and they left the initiative behind. Eight years later, the Socialist Party of Orkasduso won by a wide margin. The elections were carefully analyzed and the SPO took over the government of the country. However, two years after its accession, the party was overthrown by a coup. The Orkasdusian Armed Forces, as well as the legislative system and almost the entire productive sector, were not aligned with the supposed democracy but defending interests outside the people. The protests were severely repressed and the SPO, as well as other left-leaning parties were banned. After two years of a provisional government, the previous regime was restored. The unease within Orkasduso grew incessantly. The Tioguldós Communist Party, which had supported the SPO candidacy, began to grow underground. Many of the militants who had made up the ranks of the SPO joined, as did other Tiogs from different branches of the left. Support for the majority parties in Orkasduso was not real, but rather a product of 'choosing the least bad.' Many people not aligned with any party joined the revolutionary cause as it became clear that the hatred for socialism had been based on a great tangle of lies. A few years later, the Revolution began.

Almost eleven years have passed since then. Tioguldós stands glorious, before the impotence of the increasingly weakened Republic of Orkasduso. Gradually, the population of North Tioguldós has accepted the superiority of the People's Republic and demands the dismantling of the Orkasdusian regime and the unification of the territory. The guerrillas have begun a military operation that will seek to disrupt control over the Borosó Corridor, the only land passage that connects the vast continental territory with the industrial and political center, which is the city of Giasekh Ourakh. Right now, the PLA is stationed, protecting the northern border of Tioguldós. Given the beginning of the armed struggle from the cities, Ejamuo Neslomge, chairperson of the Joint Chief's of Staff of the PLA, called on the more than 900,000 soldiers enlisted in the Militia to take up arms and enter enemy territory to provide logistical support, and participate in raids to military barracks. One of them, Tilde Lomifal, was center-back for the Tioguldós National Team and Pmig Enako from Barkenuse. He was a revolutionary, participating in the Communist Party for several years during the early revolution.

by **Vdara** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 5:03 pm

A Barrage O’ Goals!

Yarr, it be a fine day o’ ball-bootin’ here in Ethane. So far, th’ scallywags’ve played two games, an’ won both o’ them. Vdara be showin’ th’ other landlubbers in Group G that they be a swashbucklin’ bunch o’ ball-booters, an’ despite th’ eye patches an’ th’ occasional hook hand, they be sure that no quarter is given*.

*”No quarter is given” = no prisoners taken

In addition, we be startin’ a new style o’ notin’ down how the matches bein’ played. It be called th’ “Cap’n’s Ledger”, an’ that be because it be th’ ledger owned by Cap’n Peg-Leg, har har! Anyway, since he be the Cap’n an’ he gets tae watch us boot balls from th’ side, he be decidin’ tae write about our matches. O’ course, with everythin’ we be doin’, it be nautical, so Cap’n Peg-Leg be writin’ these ball-bootin’ matches as if they be mighty ship battles between th’ most valiant o’ seafarers, y’know? Now, ye may be wonderin’ what actually be happenin’ in these matches that we be playin’. Well, me hearty, ye be in luck! Ye can find out everythin’ about the ball-bootin’ games in the ledger found below, yarr!

Th’ Cap’n’s Ledger

Matchday 1: Tioguldos 2-6 Vdara

This be a match I enjoyed greatly. In fact, I be drinkin’ rum tae celebrate as I be writin’ this. The nautical experience an’ ball-bootin’ skill o’ our scallywags be mixin’ rather nicely, as we be seein’ here today. Th’ skirmish started off with th’ opposition gettin’ the cannons goin’ early, as one o’ their scallywags blasted a hole in our defence with an early cannonball shot. This dashed our hopes a li’l, but ye never give up at th’ first hole in the ship. If anythin’, ye patch that hole up an’ fire one back, which be exactly what we did! We got all hands on deck, an’ we had 4 o’ th’ scallywags mannin’ th’ cannons. Luckily for us, Andrianos Petras managed to blast a hole in their hull, which be puttin us on equal standin’ about 8 minutes into th’ skirmish. There be a few missed cannonballs afterwards, but Kimon Karalas managed to strike th’ other ship as well, leaving them with two holes in th’ boat an’ us with only one. It be a decent start, aye? However, those opposition pirates be quite good with their cannon shots, and they blasted a cannonball right back at us. We be back on equal standin’. After that, we gave ‘em hell, as we blasted four more holes in their hull in quick succession, leavin’ those poor landlubbers helpless. Their boat be sinkin’ after all those holes be makin’ their boat fill with water. We watched as their boat started tae list from side to side, before sinkin’ by the end o’ the’ battle. We be victorious, an’ we drunk lots o’ rum afterward.

TIOGULDOS - 2
Ugós Oroso 3’
Omgarde Besel 35’

VDARA - 6
Andrianos Petras 8’, 52’, 65’
Kimon Karalas 15’
Chirstoforos Lazelis 57’
Tryfon Vlahiades 60’

Matchday 2: Vdara 2-0 Poafmersia

There not be a lot to talk about here. We blasted two holes in their ship, an’ they slowly sank o’er th’ course o’ the battle, which be mainly consistin’ o’ drinkin’ grog an’... well, not much, really. Still, we be victorious yet again!

VDARA - 2
Vangelis Mavroglou 16’
Lambros Tantalopoulos 61’

POAFMERSIA - 0

Well, that be all I got in th’ ledger for now. The S.S. Doom N’ Gloom continues tae traverse th’ seven seas with ease against these landlubbers, an’ I can only hope that our luck be continuin’ after this decent early start. Arrrrrr, I be jinxin’ it now, aren’t I? I better stop talkin’ bilge. There be only one way tae find out if we be good enough tae win our next few battles - an’ that’s by stayin’ put an’ hopin’ for th’ best!

by **Ethane** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 5:10 pm

Kreuger loses first game out

The new manager from Mriin had the luck against him as he faced off against Tequilo in Ethane's first match of the seventy eighth Cup of Harmony, and his first game in charge of the Red Kites. Kreuger's new team started off on the right foot with early offensive dominance, powered by Zavala and Montoya. They were able to control the game well, taking their time and working the ball to create gaps in the Tequilo defensive line. In the end, it wasn't overly hard to find a few gaps, as cracks began to appear in Martí's back line. A slip up by Huracan let Smith into space within the first couple of minutes, but he was unable to convert the chance, gently palming it straight at the keeper.

Further chances came for the Red Kites. Burgess managed to find a few chances against the resolute Tequilo defence. Bienvenida was caught out in the fifteenth minute, with a beautiful chip, but Huracan redeemed himself with a off the line header, sending it out for a corner. Ford took the corner, but was only able to find Ixtub Tün in the box. However, Tün was only able to knock it as far as Montoya, who planted a beautiful, crisp shot into the top-left corner, passing the outstretched arms of Bienvenida.

After that, the team sat back a little. Kreuger doesn't employ the 'one goal is enough to win a game' mentality; he's hungry for one or two more for certainty. But he's urging on the team and they're not listening; the defensive way that Ethane has been playing under Bakerman during the qualifiers is still in their system, so used to sitting back and letting the team try to break them down. But when you're team isn't set up in the right way to sit back and wait, that can leave you with a problem. There was only so much pressure the Red Kites could absorb before they broke. The left-back position seems to be particularly vulnerable at the moment due to selection of slower, older players. They may be smart, but sometimes you need pace just to keep up with the play.

A mistake by Morris, who sat back on an offensive play, let Tequilo in on the counter. Tafalla was suddenly in space, and able to make a run in. Seeing Ecuador, he passed it on in front of him, catching Craig James by surprise. Unable to react in time, he just watched as the ball set up Ecuador perfectly, leaving the player one-on-one with Araújo. And the leveller in the thirty third minute for Tequilo deflated the Ethani players; up to this point they had been controlling the game fairly well, but now the tides had turned.

Tequilo remained dominant throughout the remainder of the first half, but were only able to find a couple of good chances; one was blocked by Wilburn-Mason, and a few more were saved well by Araújo. Tequilo also came out fighting in the start of the second half, desiring to kill off this game early and stop the Ethanians from gaining the upper-hand once again in the second half. And the reward for them came not long after the resumption of play. James was caught out of position, trying to push up on an offensive. This left room for Leyton to cut in with a spectacular run in from the right, passed Morris who again was just unable to keep up with the pace of the game - he is probably going to be heading towards retirement before the next world cup qualifying comes around based on his performances. He found Huachalla waiting in the box, who pounced on the ball delivered to him and tricked the keeper into going the wrong way, putting Tequilo 2-1 up against the Red Kites.

The Ethani players were determined not to lose, but were just unable to break past the determined Tequilo, who kept firm at the back and even generated a couple of chances. Burgess came close in the 78th minute, but Huracan came in with a great tackle to deny him the chance of a goal. Cole, after being subbed on, almost scored straight off the bat, but sent it just wide on the right side, yearning to find the net. Obrien spurned a golden chance in the 89th minute to level it up right at the end, but ended up sending it straight at the keeper. One final chance fell to Atanga off a foul by Patrick Zambo on Cole, which provided a free kick at the perfect distance for Atanga. It was well-taken but also well-saved by Bienvenida, and the full time whistle followed briefly after the free kick.

The team will have to up their game for the successive matches in this Cup of Harmony, but Kreuger is not disappointed with the performance:

"'Y'know, the boys played well. A couple of slip ups definitely cost us more than I'd have liked, but we were defending alright for most of the game, and offensively we were decent. Not amazing. But decent. We found that one goal, which I was pleased with, but we did spurn a couple of golden chances - we'll be working on finishing in training before the next matches. I do need to stress to them the importance of pushing out and pressing, not just sitting back, but it wasn't too bad a performance. If we can replicate that, but improve on the mistakes front, we definitely have a chance of getting past the groups in this Cup of Harmony. I won't set our sights too high yet - I'm new to the squad and getting used to what is at my disposal. But we have a decent bunch of players, some will be going at the end of the tournament - but they're a decent bunch and can get far if they put their mind to it."

Morris is likely to sit out for the rest of the tournament, after a slight twinge in his knee was noticed following the end of the game; he'll be aiming to recover as fast as he can, but will probably be out until at least the latter half of the group stages. There's no other injuries at the moment on the team, though fatigue in the rush of this tournament may play a part as the team gets further into the long group stage.

by **Rangers FC** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 5:17 pm

The Rangers Fan Chronicle

It was a shite start for the Gers. Having lost their first game 1-0 to TJUN-ia, there was still limited hope left for a victory against Mavinet - which was dashed by a 2-0 loss. This is not a good way to start off your first Cup of Harmony, is it?

Sleepy Guy: ”Well, I can’t say I’ve enjoyed our performances in these first few games. I mean, we’ve lost both of them, and scored fuck all goals! It’s not acceptable, is it?”

Prehistoric Guy: ”Not good. We need goals. Right now, we shit.”

Cute Girl: ”Have to agree with the auld yin here. When we’re not scoring goals, our goal difference only gets worse, which means we have less of a chance of climbing back out of this early rut!”

Sleepy Guy: ”Couldn’t have said it better myself. What about you, Drunk Guy?”

Drunk Guy: ”Where’s all the... passion gone? I mean... *burp* we’re a goooooooooood team, and we’re no sco-*burp* -ring any fuckin goals!”

Energetic Guy: ”We’reshitewe’reshitewe’reshitewe’reshite *inhale* weneedgoalsweneedgoalsweneed-“

Sleepy Guy: ”Those are some well thought-out viewpoints, lads. Now, onto another topic: there’s been talk of some new players coming into the team. Is there any spots in the team you guys think we need to have more depth in?”

All: ”AYE!”

Sleepy Guy: ”Thought so. Anyhow, I’m away to my bed - I’ve got a vicious hangover and I can’t be bothered staying awake for the rest of the day. I’ll see you all after the next few matches, aye?”

All: ”Aye.”

With that, another day of Rangers coverage was over. All 5 of the fans could go home and sleep soundly in their beds, knowing that they have the chance of waking up and seeing a Rangers victory on the screen. Of course, that’s terrifically unlikely considering the state that Rangers is in right now, so don’t be getting your hopes up, haha!

WE ARE THE RANGERS, WHO DINNAE HAVE A CLUE!

by **Tikariot** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 5:44 pm

Alistair McIntosh: The first two games are in the bag and we seem to be developing a tournament tradition. Welcome to Harmony Now on Tikariot Sports TV, I'm Alistair McIntosh.

presented by

Alistair McIntosh: Good evening fellow Tikariotians and with me in the studio are Duncan Haldane, Martin Seagrave and Corrado Consigliere decided to come back, guess he liked it with us.

Corrado Consigliere: Haha, yes, thanks for allowing me back in!

Duncan Haldane: You seemed friendly.

Corrado Consigliere: That's because I am!

Alistair McIntosh: So as I said, we have two matches to look at, so let's go right into the first one against Twicetagria. Pot three and fifth in their WCQ group behind Baker Park, Savojarna, Mercedini and the Cheergirls, but they came with the reputation of being an uncomfortable opponent. Let's have a look at the line-ups.

Martin Seagrave: No surprises here, the presumed strongest starters here. The tactical formations are almost as different as can be, Tikariot with their traditional 4-3-3, while Twicetagria favours a far more defensive 4-5-1 layout, so just look at that this is almost a recipe for neutralizing each other.

Corrado Consigliere: Looking at the World Cup qualifiers, they averaged at barely a goal a game, so it really was not a promising premise for anybody enjoying exciting football, but things started off a lot more offensive that most people had expected.

Twicetagria seem to be in an offensive mood today, because they are able to push the Snowy Owls back in these opening minutes! Long ball to Apollon. Nutmeg against McNair, still Apollon, lays it off to Holffman-Agapetus, sharp cross into the box! Thomas can't get to it, Dargozhov! Chatelet saves for a corner. Augustin Vladimirescu with the corner, curls away from goal, VASILIEV! What a header, right into the corner, no chance for Chatelet, Twicetagria up 1-0!

Duncan Haldane: It's always kind of aggravating to be caught on the wrong foot and once again we're behind, which is something we seem to be doing way too often.

Corrado Consigliere: However the goal itself, it was an extremely well timed header by Vasiliev, maybe a little lucky that the ball came right to him through all the people..

Martin Seagrave: That I don't really have a problem with, it's more the midfield that I'm putting at fault here, because they were too slow to react and nutmegging McNair is something that just does - not - happen. Thomas mistimes his jump and the ball goes right to Dargozhov, who, to be honest, was as surprised as everybody else that the ball would fall right to him, but Chatelet with a nice reaction to avoid the goal right then and there.

Alistair McIntosh: It was a bit of a wakeup call for Tikariot, because they started to look a bit more like themselves after this, is this like needing a slap over the back of the head at the beginning of a tournament to get them into the right mindframe?

Duncan Haldane: Haha, it almost looks like it, but it can be difficult to find your rhythm sometimes.

Cumbernauld is feisty today! Fake out against Rominevskiy, quick one-two with Liniack, Thorniley is free, but cross over to Grimes. Cut back to Sheffield, quick ball into the box to Aspinall, chips it over Han - GOAL! We are even!

Corrado Consigliere: This just shows how big of a difference the daily form of a player can make. Lloyd Cumbernauld just has the confidence today to try things and because of that there's a good chance they will work and look here, he ignores Thorniley and brings the ball to Grimes, but in the end with that the defense moves towards Grimes and the cut back leaves Sheffield open.

Alistair McIntosh: That pass to Aspinall, though, was beautiful!

Martin Seagrave: Oh it definitely was and the defense was absolutely not there, letting the ball through and then Aspinall also completely free.

Duncan Haldane: That in turn seemed to have woken up Twicetagria, because suddenly they pushed forward more.

Dargozhov going lateral in front of the Tikariot box. Cumbernauld takes it right off his foot, quick pass forward to Nighthorse, but Martins intercepts, hard low ball comes to Augustin Vladimirescu, short pass to Apollon, back to Vladimirescu, sees Apollon move into the box! Back to Vladimirescu and right between the legs of Chatelet! Six minutes to go in the first half and Twicetagria is back in the lead.

Duncan Haldane: Nice try to go for the counter attack and really nicely done by Cumbernauld, but Martins gets to it before Nighthorse and sends the ball right back. And then this beautiful tiki-taka between Vladimirescu and Apollon completely tears our defense apart, that cut back to Vladimirescu should never have reached him, but cool shot and yeah, overall a deserved lead going into the second half.

Alistair McIntosh: A very lively first half, quite unusual for Twicetagrian games, Tikariot not bad, but just not focused enough.

Martin Seagrave: It is pretty much a repeat of the first game of the World Cup qualifiers against Union Europae, a big lack of focus, but at least this time around we are actually scoring, even though not enough.

Alistair McIntosh: The second half, unfortunately, was a lot less entertaining with Twicetagria pulling back and allowing the Snowy Owls to play a far higher line and put a lot more pressure, but at the same time they stayed dangerous throughout the game.

Liniack with the cross into the box, Han punches it away. Dargozhov with a quick pass forward to Apollon, it's two against two! Pass through to Vladimirescu, Thomas with the tackle! Phew, that was close, Vladimirescu would have been alone in front of Chatelet otherwise!

Chatelet with a wide throw forward to Al Hak. He goes down the line, sharp cross in - Grimaud with the header - against post! Twicetagria struggling to get the ball away, Sheffiiiield and Han with one hand! Between Grimaud and Sheffield this should have been a goal!

Duncan Haldane: A beautiful header there by Grimaud, but just against the upright and then Sheffield with another great chance, but Han with an outstanding reflex there.

Corrado Consigliere: And this shows that Twicetagria is not as sturdy in the back themselves, because Grimaud was completely alone going up for that header and Sheffield also was too uncovered, but alas, no luck for us.

Alistair McIntosh: There would be some excitement in the second half still, though, even if it meant waiting until the 82nd minute.

Corner for Twicetagria and we have to remember that the first goal came after a corner as well. Against Augustin Vladimirescu with the corner, Coronello with the header, right to Rominevskiy! Over to Dargozhov and GOAL! Beautiful curl right into the corner, through and over everybody, was that it? It does not look good!

Martin Seagrave: Set pieces today were our nemesis. Horrible clearance by Coronello there and what a shot by Dargozhov! A little luck there for the ball not hitting anybody an Chatelet, he really could not see that ball coming, so definitely no complaint about him.

Alistair McIntosh: But again this was not it, three minutes after the 3-1 the fans had one more reason to cheer.

Apollon with the shot! And right into the arms of Chatelet! Quick kick forward finds Sheffield. Slots it forward to Grimaud - no offside! Just has Han ahead of him now, pushes it past Han and 2-3! Five minutes to go, maybe there is still something in this game for us!

Corrado Consigliere: Unfortunately there was not and in the second major tournament in a row we lose the first game, a tradition I could definitely go without!

Duncan Haldane: You and me both. It was not a bad game, though, Twicetagria obviously a lot stronger than Union Europae had been, but still similar issues. Not converting our chances and lack of focus. Let's hope that they can bounce back from this similar to the World Cup qualifiers.

Alistair McIntosh: And next up were Murphtannia, who were in the same group as Twicetagria, just one position behind them. Not a bad start to their international games, though, and they were one of THE surprise teams of match day 1 actually, beating favourites Krytenia 1-0 in a move definitely nobody would have expected at all.

Martin Seagrave: That was maybe THE biggest surprise of the first match day and Krytenia, too, seem to make it a tradition of starting tournaments slow. But time for the line-ups.

Alistair McIntosh: A bit surprising to see especially Cumbernauld on the bench after having a really good game against Twicetagria?

Corrado Consigliere: From what I heard he did pick up a slight known on the ankle towards the end of the game, so Ekstrom likely tried to make sure that whatever twitch he had wouldn't get worse.

Alistair McIntosh: Also Al Hak, Mosnyk and Grimaud coming in, quite the shakeup for a game two.

Corrado Consigliere: Yes, that was a little surprising, but Nighthorse did not find his way into the last game at all and my guess is that by switching through players early on we can keep most of them fresh throughout the tournament.

Alistair McIntosh: If it does not throw off the team cohesion.

Corrado Consigliere: There's that, but I have complete faith in Ekstrom to get the players motivated right, though.

Alistair McIntosh: And it was not a very exciting game, unfortunately, Murphtannia were trying to take control of the game, but the final push was just missing.

Marley to Owen. Back to Marley, again Owen. The Tikariot defense is very well organized here, forcing Murphtannia to go lateral. Marley now out to Cartlidge. Goes down the side line, sharp cross inside, but Chatelet plucks the ball down with ease before Murphy can get to it.

Martin Seagrave: They really tried, but they could get up to about 20 metres in front of the goal and then kind of hit a brick wall. They did have a few dangerous shots from the distance, though, so it's not as if they were completely harmless.

Alistair McIntosh: In the 33rd minute, the stalemate was finally broken, though.

Pole loses the ball to Coronello. Pushes the ball left to Al Hak. Slinks past Jenkins and off he goes. Avoids a tackle by Bridge, quick pass back to Thorniley, floats the ball in and SHEFFIELD with the header! He really uses his size well here and fights off Pallet and right under the crossbar between the outstretched arms of Ball, 1-0 Tikariot!

Duncan Haldane: Great counter attack there down the right side, Al Hak right away proves why Ekstrom put him in, 75% of that goal are his, even though his name will not show up anywhere in the stats. Great header by Sheffield as well, managing to get past Pallet there and there was some serious power behind that ball.

Corrado Consigliere: And again it shows that when this team focuses, they can beat anybody. Clear and concise passes and they can make it look so easy.

Alistair McIntosh: The first half did not have much more really special moments and the second half did not really excite the fans, or us, either for quite a while, Ekstrom brought on Morris Nighthorse for a mostly invisible Adrian Grimaud and more interestingly Jesson Morrison for Graydon Sheffield, putting the M&M duo of Mosnyk and Morrison together

Martin Seagrave: It clearly showed that they are an ingenious duo, knowing each other inside out from Anhedron, and it was beautiful to behold the ease that these two players had between each other.

Freekick deep in the Tikariot half. McNair with the high ball to Mosnyk. Takes down the ball with his chest, no-look pass to Morrison! Pushes into the box, shoots - and only hits the sidenetting from a very sharp angle there.

Martin Seagrave: It's that kind of play that is so great. Morrison overlaps and when everybody expects a lateral pass, he just sends it right through everybody and it shows Morrison's confidence with that shot.

Chatelet sending Grimes down the left side. Ooh, that is a lot of pulling and shoving by Marley there, referee does not do anything. He's going to run out of pitch there! Cross, weird one, McNair VOLLEY! GOAL! If you want brute force, look no further than Rory McNair, Tikariot doubles the lead!

Corrado Consigliere: I am honestly surprised the referee did not blow the whistle on that Marley vs. Grimes, there was so much pulling on the jerseys that I thought they wanted to exchange them right then and there. But I guess that Grimes staying on the ball was enough. He whips the ball in at the last moment there while falling and I definitely do not think that he had meant for the ball to go back that far, I think he hit it completely wrong, but lucky that it fell right for McNair and he just rifled this one off and not a ghost of a chance for Ball here.

Duncan Haldane: This is the second goal where Tikariot played the ball very fast and direct and Murphtannia had problems with that. Thankfully the players did realize that, because they went to utilize this far more often in the last third of the game.

Wide cross from Al Hak right over to Mosnyk, direct high ball over the whole Murphtannian defense right to Morrison, takes it down, now one on one with Ball fakes out to the right, going left, right around Ball and can just coolly slot it in, 3-0 with 19 minutes to go, that should be it!

Alistair McIntosh: And it was "it", a clear and controlled win for Tikariot in game two, was this game the redemption after the Twicetagria loss?

Martin Seagrave: Yes and no. Yes, they played a lot better and deservedly took away the win here but I really dont think that this really was a thing of redemption. They lost the first game by a goal, bounced back with a three goal win, so I think were back in business and ready to rock for the next two matches.

Corrado Consigliere: Speaking of which, we will be going against the nation we have the most games against so far, Sylestone, also co-hosts of the Cup of Harmony, who also had a very mixed start to the campaign, at first winning 3-1 over The Jovannic and then going under 1-4 against Krytenia, and then the second seed in the group, Xanneria, they had a bye in the first round and then beat The Jovannic 3-2, which actually puts our group into a really odd position with six of the seven teams sitting at three points and only The Jovannic at the end being without a point, so I guess this is why some people arleady call our group the "group of death".

Alistair McIntosh: So what are the expectations for the next two games then?

Duncan Haldane: I think we can hope for a win over Sylestone and maybe a point against Xanneria.

Alistair McIntosh: That leaves only one more question, what will be line-ups look like?

Martin Seagrave: Oh yes, we almost forgot about that, did we? So for Sylestone we should be able to have a look out for this fine group of gentlemen: Chatelet - Grimes, Thomas, Coronello, Al Hak - Thorniley, McNair, Cumbernauld - Mosnyk, Morrison, Grimaud.

Corrado Consigliere: So the M&Ms from the beginning, nice and definitely worth a try. For Xanneria the presumed starting eleven is Chatelet - Dunlap, Thomas, Coronello, Al Hak - Thorniley, McNair, Welch - Nighthorse, Sheffield, Aspinall.

Alistair McIntosh: Alright, thank you very much, gents, a pleasure as usual, unfortunately our time is up, we hope to see you during our live coverage from Ethane, have a good night and stay safe!

by **Kohnhead** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:05 pm

The Brains once again open CoH against New Lusitania

In Kelssek at the 77th Cup of Harmony we opened our group stage against heavy favorites New Lusitania and we stunned the World by beating them 1-0 with Audrey Henderson scoring the winner in the 71st minute as we walked away with a statement 1-0 win. While New Lusitania would fail to advance in humiliating fashion we carried that momentum en route to a first place in the group finish and round of 16 birth. This CoH in Sylestone we would once again open against New Lusitania but unlike last time would lose in a one goal affair 2-1 in Michael White's coaching debut. We were the underdogs in this one being ranked 71st in the World versus their 57th but this just feels like one we could have won.

It would be New Lusitania who got on the board first to open their Cup of Harmony scoring in the 29th minute with captain Bruno Fernando from Sporting CL converting a pen. There was a cross and a header from New Lusitania and Miranda Atkinson accidentally deflected the ball away with her arm causing the penalty.

The Brains would answer back with a goal of their own as Corton played it downfield to Audrey Henderson who converted it scoring her 2nd goal in as many matches against New Lusitania. This occured in the 42nd and heading into halftime in Michael White's managing debut we looked to have a chance. However New Lusitania would score the dagger in the 57th with Bernardo Veiga sending in a no doubt header that got past Bertha Sanders to win them the game. While it was a lost it was still a very promising debut for Michael White and a match that we can build upon.

Taking on Valladares who are 82nd ranked in the World this was a game that we would have lost during qualifiers despite having the better rank. However this is a different team in the Cup of Harmony, this is Michael White's team and we showed that we can win games against opponents close to our rank. We are quickly seeing Michael White's impact on the team especially the defense who looked great in this one pitching a shutout. However Michael White has indicated that Taylor Rodar will be starting in both of our next games in place of Callie Porsha as he tries to evaluate the position group better.

In the 19th Valladares would get the first big chance with the 25 year old Thibault Benezet getting past Corton to fire a shot on goal that was powerful but right over Sanders who just had to tip it over the bar. The corner was no problem for us and they had failed to score. The Brains on the other hand would convert their first big chance with Nicholas Radison scoring what proved to be the only goal of the match. One thing that White emphasised was getting Radison even more involved with the attack up the flank using his speed. In this one Radison goes up the line and passes it inside to Laker who feeds him right back the ball where he first time strikes it right past captain Paulo Gaviria for the winner.

Our first win of the tournament and it's a statement win. Our next match will be against Squidroidia a team from the most recent Baptism of Fire that have been making headlines notably with their performance in the IAC making it all the way to the Semis. While they are ranked 104th they cannot be considered an easy win and we will have to work for it. They shockingly pulled off the upset against the heavy group favorites Geektopia who beat us 6-2 during qualifiers. I see them as a team around where our level was last CoH and while I'm predicting a win it is most definitely a possibility that we lose.

Here's the current table showing us in a good position.

Group B              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 New Lusitania          2   2  0  0    5   1  +4    6
2 Kohnhead               2   1  0  1    2   2   0    3
3 Squidroidia            1   1  0  0    2   1  +1    3
4 Valladares             2   1  0  1    2   2   0    3
5 Cheergirls             2   1  0  1    1   3  −2    3
6 Orion Islands          1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0
7 Geektopia              2   0  0  2    2   4  −2    0

by **Astograth** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:31 pm

Previously

“It’s a whole multiverse out there. Multi-verse. Multiple universes, multiple dimensions. Each vast, infinite.” The Master spoke in a strained, forceful whisper. Vaudrail and Kiriano had to lean in over the lit candelabrum to hear him. “All full of horrors and dangers. Witch-kings that can cast you into bottomless pits on a whim. Beings that lesser creatures call gods and goddesses. Time warps, vortices of pain, the empty cold of outermost space.”

The Master leaned back, and shook his head. Hanging trinkets jingled. “No, you have no clue. At best you are familiar with the Holy Empire, or the Commonwealth of Eastfield Lodge, but those are the most benevolent sorts of things you may find. You have no clue what hides behind the veil, the planes of possibility that extend all around us. And who protects, you ask yourselves. Who can help you against these dangers, these affronts to humanity, normality, tranquility. The answer is The Master,” he pronounced with a grin and a palm on his chest. With the other hand he reached for a cigarette on a stone ashtray, and took a drag. Its smoke didn’t smell like any cigarette either of his visitors had encountered before.

Vaudrail coughed lightly. “Yes, you were recommended to us because of that. I have some questions, however.”

“Tell your questions to The Master.”

“How do you know all this?”

“The Master was born with this knowledge, the same as you were born with a gift for football. You discovered yours in the schoolyard, The Master discovered his in Albrecht.”

“Candelaria And Marquez?” butted in Kiriano.

“Just Candelaria, in this case.”

“I thought they didn’t believe this stuff.”

“They do not, because they are protected! By people like The Master.” Again he grinned and laid a hand on his chest.

“And you are from here in Astograth?” inquired Vaudrail.

The mystic’s face shifted into a frown. “No, why would you think that?”. His Astograthian was perfect, and from somewhere in Mendebal province in Kiriano’s opinion. He kept quiet. “The Master is from far away. Very far away,” added the man with a flourish of his hand. “But fully trained in Albrecht, you better believe it. With the very best Masters.”

“I see,” continued Vaudrail. “And your sign at the front. What is the problem with Chromatiks?”

“Bad vibes. Dark energy, all wrong. You could not detect it, of course, not you. But there is something sinister to them, a vampiric force underneath. You will not face them at this tournament you must play, The Master hopes.”

“No, not them. And what about the elves? Why do you put them in quotes?”

The Master’s nose wrinkled. “The ‘elf’ is a lie. ‘Elves’, as you call them, do not exist. They are vampires. Bloodsuckers. That is how they keep young, and immortal. They feed from humans! Worse still, The Master has heard that a powerful vampire of the name Valrauncion is being courted to come to Rumiatzi. That would be a catastrophic mistake.”

Vaudrail blinked, expecting him to continue. “I-”.

“Do anything in your power to stop this.”

“I don’t have much power to do that. But anyway. We don’t expect to play against any elves, I was just asking. Now, the tournament… it’s in Ethane and Sylestone.”

“Sylestone. The Master has not heard of this.”

“Sylestone is in Esportiva. The people there, some are human and some are… appliance. Their players are Brick Wall, Toilet, Stove…”

“What? These are their nicknames?”

“No, it’s what they are. They’re objects and appliances, sentient ones. Our group is in Ethane, but we might need to go to Sylestone during the knockout rounds.”

“Ah. Sentient objects. Typically, these are human souls bound to the objects by a curse, until they learn the true meaning of love for example. Tragic but harmless creatures. The Master will give you charms to avoid being cursed yourselves.”

“Charms,” said Kiriano.

“Charms,” said The Master, turning to face him. He grinned and gently placed his palm on his chest.

“Well, good,” concluded Vaudrail. “Charms for Sylestone. Now, this sheet has all the teams in competition. This one, F, is ours. There’s HUElavia, normal. Ziwana, normal. South Newlandia, normal. Indusse, normal. Electrum… have been fielding non-humans lately. For this tournament they’re taking something called ‘Einarsson, King of the Armoured Bears’ and an ‘Android X3-TU in the shape of a flightless bird’, and als-”

“Twelve point seven by ninety-nine-millimetre anti-tank rifle.” The Master took a long drag of his cigarette. “This is simple.”

“We can’t take an anti-tank rifle to the Cup of Harmony.”

He shrugged. “You ask how to stop a robot and king of the armoured bears, the answer is anti-tank rifle. You can get these in any dimension, or Eura.”

Kiriano gritted his teeth. “Charms and an anti-tank rifle. That’s your advice.”

“It will win,” said The Master with another grin.

by **New Lusitania and the Algarves** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:53 pm

STL|Serviços de Transmissão Lusitana
Sport | Football|
Cup of Harmony 78

SO FAR, SO GOOD
Matchdays 1 & 2 Review:
Kohnhead 1-2 New Lusitania / New Lusitania 3-0 Cheergirls
@Chamberley Institute of Sport, Chamberley (Atts: 103 925/99 752)

New Lusitania had arrived in high spirits and hopes in Chamberley, the westernmost host city in the nation of Sylvestone. Sandwiched between deep blue waters and lush green rainforest, the climate had to be taken into consideration. The Selecção would first play against Kohnhead in the massive century-plus-seater stadium. With a full house, the stadium would certainly have an impact on the action below. New Lusitania started the tournament with Patríce naturally in goal, followed by Vinagrete, Leiteiro, Ferradura and Cancela in defence after the decision to have a back four was made, Fernando would line up with Horta and Gama at either side as Veiga, Jota and Silveira played up front. A first type team for Kohnhead was something considered a prudent move with Guerreiros originally expected to play. The game started well for the Kohnhead squad with a good chance on the twelfth minute, but fortunes would soon change. By the twentieth minute of play, New Lusitania had opened their tally in this edition’s Cup. A controversial penalty saw the captain rise to the occasion and strike it down beautifully – the keeper guessed the side right, but the ball went in and Os Navegadores were leading. Before the break though it was all tied up once more with a striking blow from the head of the opposition’s forward to pull it back to where it all started. In the second half, a change as Azinheira returned to the normal lineup as Ferradura was taken out, despite good defensive work. The change whilst bringing on an experienced player with a good performance, didn’t do much difference to crack their adversaries but the goal was scored early in the second half meaning the game was also at a standstill for a good percentage of the half . Veiga would do the honours on this one, receiving an almost teleguided pass from Gama in the wing sending the ball swooping into the air, waiting for someone in the box to control it and guide it home in what was a successful attempt at doing so. Three points in the bag and the team was happy enough with that as they waited on the sidelines until the following match
It didn’t take long for Matchday Two to surface and after a couple of days, New Lusitania were back in the thick of it, this time against the cheerleaders, meaning they weren’t just up against a team of players but also an extremely positive mental attitude and belief in themselves. António Lopes did make his appearance objectifyingly too early with Azinheira coming in full-time and Guerreiros getting his first chance in a long while. New Lusitania managed to get the upperhand in this one right from the “off” creating some great chances in the first half and the opening goal came soon enough. Silveira proving why he’s still the best forward in the team as he volleyed it in following a pass with vision by Veiga. The second goal came not long after and it was from the foot of Daniel Jota, who awaited a long through-ball from winger Guerreiros all the way in the centre of the park, running just about onside and shooting it in to make the second. Some may say that two goal leads are some of the most dangerous due to the false sense of security but national coach Grilo still opted for some experiments bringing on Palhagueira and Paciente. It was a choice that reaped rewards as these were the two involved in the third and the final goal of the match. Advancing through the pitch, the Sporting CL holding midfielder started the play and handed it over to Paciente up ahead who with a chance to be one on one with the keeper, couldn’t let the chance go away and slotted it home. A convincing win for the team puts the confidence and morale of the squad and nation high but is it just a good start or can this team actually play the long game in the multiversal stage?
For now, New Lusitania will happily sit at the top of the group with two victories, with Kohnhead in second after a redemption by beating Valladares 0-1. Squidrodia’s first match went well as the team convinced against Geektopia 2-1. One of the big teams, the Geektopians seem to be having a disastrous start so far, with two defeats in two matches, also being defeated by now fourth-placed Valladares 1-2. The Cheergirls are fifth after they took three from the Orion Islands in their only match. Over in group A a similar story can be seen with hosts Ethane who lost their first match where they faced Tequilo. For now, the latter and Granitfjall lead on fourth following the granite’s draw with Mercedini. Things look heated in Group C with a three-way race to victory between Abanhfleft, Sargossa and Flavovespia on 4 with Mattijana still in the mix. Group D exemplified why New Lusitania struggled with Mavinet as they led the group alongside Sarzonia, beating Barunia 3-1. On the other side of the draw, Twicegratia will be twice thankful they’re at the top of Group E with a game in hand after two matches as everyone except The Jovannic is on three in the group. Group F sees Astograth come out on top for the moment with two wins alongside South Newlandia as four teams drew between each other; meaning only Indusse is yet to score a point. Vdara are clear favourites to take Group G after the sheer confidence they demonstrated in their two matches, the first of which was won by a 2-6 margin. Their friends Riena are the only ones yet to point. The eighth and last group, Group H also had some thrills. Oberour Ar Moro deservedly take the group’s equivalent of pole after a 4-4 goalfest with Jeruselem, though Northwest Kalactin have a game in hand.
As we look ahead, New Lusitania feature in one match only in the next paring, against the Orion Isles.Geektopia take the bye in matchday three, meaning the Selecção will be back in the thick of things once they return for matchday five. Two wins for the moment is nonetheless, extremely encouraging. On a side note, the World Cup commences this week in Drawkland and Newmanistan. The tournament that has caused some hurt to the Selecção without even winning almost half a century go has confirmed all thirty-two of its contestants and is now ready to pit the best teams in the world up against each other. As usual, STL will follow both tournaments during this time showing unparalleled coverage of the action for your viewing pleasure.

----
STL In association with FLF
Official Broadcasters of World Cup 86 & Cup of Harmony 78 – The Action, Live.
Follow the Selecção here in Exclusive.
MMXX

by **Electrum** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 8:14 pm

The Turnip: Revealed -- The Secret Dossier Compiled by Electrum for the Cup of Harmony Seventy-Eight
by Sweet-T, citizen journalist

The Electrum Football Team has temporarily forgotten to play football last week in their shocking one-zip loss to Astograth. After all, it had been a very long time since their last game of football, with their match against Sulsuland being played a decade before this match against Astograth. It seems like due to the nonsensical nature of the multiverse's time-keeping system, where some athletes age faster than others, the time dilating effects of travelling to a mysterious place filled with two-carbon alkanes temporarily knocked the team out and made them forget about football. It reminds me of the time when I bought a Sylestone Washing Machine and it finished its load 24 times faster than expected (in the laundry, not the bedroom).

The Electrumite National Team are currently playing at the Cup of Harmony 78 but because it has been a decade since their previous match, not one Electrumite remembered the rules of the game before starting their match against Astograth. Indeed, the captain of the team, Alan Moore, as well as the vice-captain, Nindethana², were spotted making frantic calls to old manager Jeffrey Clark, who they relied on learning the rules of soccer. The current manager, Tyler Fernando, utilised a different strategy of searching "football" on Mirahezepedia to no avail.

In the end, with the Olives scoring the first goal within the first five minutes of the match, the Electrumites suddenly remembered what they had to do. Unfortunately, no further goals would come, making us lose 1-0. Let's hope that the Electrumites aren't subject to this wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey phenomenon in time for their next match against South Newlandia, which frankly sounds like a made up name. Just like Electrum.

by **Megistos** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 10:02 pm

Good Results Coming?

Megistos 1–2 Sargossa

Not the most wanted result, but a loss on the first matchday was expected, thanks to the draw. You can thank Margaret for that one. Of course, it was expected, as the match specifically was the top seed coming against the second-to-last seed. Not much to complain, huh? Considering it was only a 1-2 loss.

Taking after-match reports aside, we bring you the stats of the 1-2 loss against Sargossa.

Megistos - 1

Robertson 42': Sprinted past Esnaider and slotted it home between Martínez's legs.

Sargossa - 2

Leguizamo 21': Took a cross to the middle of the box, he went to the middle of the box after a deflection from Fran, and blasted it in the top right corner

Leguizamo 78': Took another swing but the header from Esnáider went on a deflection from Lam and wide, the corner came in and Leguizamo was able to head the ball past a diving Becks and into the net.

by **Oberour Ar Moro** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 10:07 pm

Breval Breut had almost-but-not-quite 24 non-consecutive hours to try and improve his chances to earn his way into heaven.

He had Steve, the angel assigned to help him - "I am not your guardian angel," Steve had insisted quite vociferously. "I want you to get that idea right out of your head."

"It hadn't been in my head in the first place," was Breval's reply - but clearly Steve wasn't going to be much help at all. Steve had made himself very clear: he would keep track of Breval's time on the planet, and could get him from place to place. But in terms of helping Breval brainstorm, that was a flat no.

"The rules say I cannot assist a human with his claim," was Steve's lame excuse.

So Breval had decided to help his son, Iudicael. Somehow. He hadn't known how to be a father when he was alive, he certainly didn't know how to be when he was dead. He'd just have to figure it out on his own. And fast.

It was after he committed himself to the project that he realized that he wasn't sure exactly what he would do. Iudicael was sad. Okay. How could he clear up over 18 years of...whatever hadn't gone right for him in 24 hours?

"23 hours, 55 minutes, and 58 seconds," Steve reminded him. Right, right. As soon as he touched foot on the planet's soil the clock would start ticking down. So he needed to be efficient. He figured while Iudicael was on the Dragoons Cup of Harmony roster in Ethane would be the place to try. And particularly, he'd go on a bye day. Though he wasn't sure what he'd say. He took a deep breath (he's dead so what was he breathing?) and indicated to Steve that he was ready to go.

Breval and Steve touched down in the nation in Ethane. 58 seconds, 57 seconds, 56 seconds...

by **The Gothanita Isles** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 10:30 pm

RP Series: Getting to the top
Chapter 3: That second-tier cup
Part 1: Trying to find what is correct.

And Kartal scored the lone goal in 2 matches. A 57th minute solo effort where he beat the defenders before making the goalkeeper dive the wrong way. Lone goal. 1 point from a goalless draw against Flavovospia in Matchday 2.
Is any of these results unexpected? Considering that the team are the last seeds and have shown absolute nonsense in their first qualifiers, it isn't weird. To the manager, it just might be. Poafmersia wasn't the bottom seed in their first tournament, and as a Poafmer, he was used to seeing teams performing averagely well.
It was time for him to find out what to be changed and what not, as they have 7 matches to figure out something. Well 5 left.

by **Mavinet** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 10:42 pm

A BANGING START IN THE CUP OF HARMONY 78
by Pham Ngoc Le

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back for your scheduled magazine coverage of the Cup of Harmony 78, hosted by the good friends at Ethane and Sylestone. Mavinet may have failed to qualify for World Cup this year, but the players sure didn’t dwell long in disappointment. The Water Buffaloes returned to international football in the Cup of Harmony strongly with 2 convincing wins against Barunia and Rangers FC.

The national team opened the Cup of Harmony campaign with the match against Barunia. Once a formidable team with 5 times qualifying for the World Cup and 2 times finalist of the Cup of Harmony, Barunia has fallen a bit down the ladder of rank in recent time, to the point that they are now lower than our own national team in the latest ranking. But if ranking alone can determine the outcome of matches, we wouldn’t have had any chance to climb to where we are now. There can be no complacency against any team, and that’s exactly what we did in this match.

Head Coach Nguyen Minh Quan fielded the regular starters for this match and ordered the players to go head-to-head against the usually offensive tactic of Barunia. The Suns had the upper hand during the first 15 minutes, with dangerous chances often come from the duo Emmanuel Carter and Sara Moorhouse up front. The Water Buffaloes were the one to break the deadlock, however, when Tran Hoang Minh latched on to Vo Thanh Hai's clever pass and steering a left-foot shot into the bottom-right corner in the 26th minute.
The control of the match gradually passed into the hand of Mavinet after that. While Barunia worked hard to contain the waves of attack from Mavinet, they conceded another one before the half-time break. In the 38th minute, Hoang Trung's long kick was received by Hoang Minh. The attacking midfielder returned the earlier favor by putting Vo Thanh Hai in a comfortable position to shoot and the striker didn’t disappoint. The ball flew right under the body of John Taylor and the score was 2-0 for Mavinet.

Things didn’t change much after the break. Mavinet continued to control the match for most of the second 45 minutes, despite the Suns best efforts to close the gap. In a failed last minute bid to get a goal, Barunia were caught in a vulnerable state when the possession passed to Mavinet. Quang Khai laid the ball neatly into the path of the sprinting Phung Thieu Van, who then delivered a quality cross from the right wing to Hoang Minh. The double for the midfielder was made, and the first 3 points for Mavinet were assured.
With the momentum from the win, Mavinet stepped into the second match with Rangers FC full of confidence. The Water Buffaloes hit the ground running against the team from Glaskopolis. Ho Vu Thanh Hoang, the joint top goalscorer with Vo Thanh Hai in the latest World Cup qualifying campaign, continued to show why he has been the top choice for the right winger position since his debut in the Baptism of Fire 72. With pace, energy and technique, Thanh Hoang made the day difficult for Rangers’ defenders. In the 10th minute, Thanh Hoang cleverly broke the offside trap before putting the ball cleanly in the back of the goal through the legs of Alanis Gregorikis.

Rangers were not completely passive in the match. After conceding the first goal, they quickly reorganized themselves and made several promising attacks of their own. Lapses of concentration from the Mavinese (for the n-th time) provided Freud Morelikis and Yanis Kentis with two clear cut chances, but on a unfortunate day for the Rangers, no goals were scored before the half-time break.

The missed chances helped Rangers FC started the second half with more vigor than the first, with Freud Morelikis again leading the offense. The Rangers’ striker wasted another chance in the 51st minute with his hesitation in front of goal, allowing Hoang Trung to close in and end the most dangerous chance for Rangers since the start of the match. The Water Buffaloes, after a shaky first 10 minutes of the second half, regained control of the match and pushed their opponents back to their half. Rangers FC defended well until the 65th, when a misunderstanding between Konor Aurisorikis and Alanis Gregorikis allowed Vu Tien Linh to steal the ball and put the ball straight into the low corner. 2-0 for Mavinet and the odds then were already very much in Mavinet’s favor. And indeed they were, as the Water Buffaloes shifted to controlling the match from then on. The match ended without anymore goal scored.

With the two early wins, Mavinet have now surpassed their points from the last Cup of Harmony. 6 points and a +5 goal difference helps the Water Buffaloes grab the top spot of the group, tying in point with their next opponent, Sarzonia. Things are going to be much different in the next couple matches with Sarzonia and Yuezhou being the oppositions. The former world champions will likely dominate the encounter, but there is no telling which way the game will go before it begins. Yuezhou, despite being winless after the first two matches (they had a bye on the second matchday), are still the team to watch. Their domestic attention may not currently being placed on the national team, however, as the country is experiencing a major secessionist crisis. It remains to be seen whether the incidents in Yuezhou will have anything effects on their national team’s campaign in the Cup of Harmony.

Let the good run continue!

MD1

BARUNIA - 0

MAVINET - 3
26' Tran Hoang Minh
38' Vo Thanh Hai
89’ Tran Hoang Minh

MD2

MAVINET - 2
10' Ho Vu Thanh Hoang
65' Vu Tien Linh

RANGERS FC - 0

by **Tequilo** » Wed Sep 30, 2020 10:42 pm

TAPALUPÉ, Tequilo - So many match days, so little time… don’t worry, when you don’t have time for the big read (and we don’t have time for the big write) let the GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!! Daily take the strain - all your favourite bits, in brief. Today we’re bringing back some of your favourite features: Track & Trace… whatever happened to Fûćü Cúkî and Nossï Lloò? Rúi de Las Rovas… season two of the famous old comic book strip rebooted. El Copametro… how are Los Pitxileros making out in Sylestone, land of pointy-eared savages and - allegedly - talking tea-cups? But first, we have mail! And you can write in too, if you want to - address your fascinating texts to spamcatcher@gola.teq or drop a letter in the mail to PO Box 654353583.2, Grand Central Post Office, Tapalupé¹

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
The issues that have really been knocking back your dough balls of late

Welcome back to our letters section and today we publish this nice letter we got a while back, just before our final WC qualifying group match against 95X, from Lükækš Væñøœrëñbérghüïś of Vdara [He looks like a Rülândéésè - Ed.], who apparently is the manager of the Vdaran national football team: “Allo. [but he sounds like a Mustardo - Ed.] I am writing this email to discuss your habit of winning and even qualifying. How does it work? Why does it work? How are you doing this with seemingly little experience in international football compared to the veterans such as Eastfield Lodge and HUElavia?”

Thanks for your letter, Lükækš. Sorry for the late reply. As noted, this was before the winner-takes-all qualifying match which we, umm, lost. Thus failing to qualify. So, like, yes. We agree. How does it work? When does it work? We’ll see you - and HUElavia - in the Cup of Harmonious Losers. Meanwhile, despairing letter writer Xeneral Desdén of San Dolores (“I’m leaving and I won’t be back”, Letters To The Editor, two months ago, and “I’m definitely leaving, don’t try to stop me”, last month) writes, “I resent that rude man from Chanco Cóndor (Rubèn Curto, ‘can we talk about the football now’, three weeks ago) changing the subject when we were discussing my deciding to leave. The matter remains - I am going. He won’t change that by letting me leave.”

We appreciate the clarification, Xeneral… I think… and we wish you well, although we are still not sure why y- [Just don’t - Ed.] - and so good luck with that.

Talking of Rubèn Curto of Chanco Cóndor, Rubèn Curto notes, “terrific couple of games in the Cup of Harmony, once again Tlacolotl was outstanding up front and he looks like he will set the high water mark for national team goals that all others who follow will try to match. And being as he’s still only 21, I think few will reach him - he could get a hundred goals in the years ahead of him. And such a modest chap too, you never read much about him at all. Mind you, that might be the fault of the writers at rags like yours for going after the wrong stories all the time. But what do I know, eh?”

That’s entirely true, Rubèn.

Finally, somebody who agrees! Norm. de Plume of Plume, Antivador comments: “I agree with Minerva Varfell (“I think I saw García de Corcoles washed up on a beach in Antivador”, four months ago) and I think he is still there. Someone should check he’s ok.” - any and all responsible readers are invited to pop down to the beach and tap him on the shoulder like a good citizen.

FOUR POINTS FROM BIG TWO

A tough start against the two favourites for this group concluded with an impressive four points as coach Isaac Martí targets nine points in total to qualify to the next round. Against an Ethani team who simply weren't at the races - perhaps disgruntled that they had been timetabled by their own FA to play on the opposite side of the draw to where they are actually hosting this tournament, the team were anonymous throughout as the Agave Blues started in style. Able to start the really Big One of the group with the same line-up in the second game for the first time in the short history of national team football, the outsiders for this game produced another stand-up performance to secure a point, quickly rallying in the second half after falling behind midway through the second half. It is an encouraging start for coach Martí, and he will want to build on that with two more tests coming in short order, against the darkhorse Delaclavs, the plucky Pluvians and steady Saxean Islanders. Is that a triple header? The coach will be looking to potentially reach his target at this point, although word on the inside is that he is again looking for four from six, putting Los Pitxileros in a strong position with two games to play.

TEQUILO 2-1 Ethane HT: 1-0

Location: Sentient Oval, Kirkham
Attendance: 29,275 noisy toilet seats and the Ultra-Mariachis (8 sombreros+dog; all standing up)
Scorers: Ecuador 23’ Leyton 48’ | Etani#11 83’
Tequilo Line-Up: Oscar Bienvenida | Patrick Zambo, Haize Apeiztegui, Huracan, Huachalla | Ixtub Tün | Vilca Hualla (VC), Mateo Tafalla (Capitan), Leyton | Tlacolotl, Ecuador
Player of the Match: Vilca Hualla (Tequilo)

Mercedini 1-1 TEQUILO HT: 0-0

Location: Sentient Oval, Kirkham
Attendance: 29,275 noisy toilet seats and the Ultra-Mariachis (8 sombreros+dog; all standing up)
Scorers: Dostalok 64’ | Tlacolotl 69’
Tequilo Line-Up: Oscar Bienvenida | Patrick Zambo, Haize Apeiztegui, Huracan, Huachalla | Ixtub Tün | Vilca Hualla (VC), Mateo Tafalla (Capitan), Leyton | Tlacolotl, Ecuador
Player of the Match: Noxochinoch (Tequilo)

NEXT UP

Confirmed Line-Up for TEQUILO vs. Pluvia & The Saxean Isles: Oscar Bienvenida | Llösë Lea, Haize Apeiztegui (Capitan), Noxochinoch, Chicchan | Ixtub Tün | Esâ Neá, Niño Pinto, Leyton | Tlacolotl, Urlegi Gorostola (VC)

Probable Line-Up for Delaclava vs. TEQUILO: Oscar Bienvenida | Patrick Zambo, Haize Apeiztegui, Huracan, Huachalla | Ixtub Tün | Vilca Hualla (VC), Mateo Tafalla (Capitan), Leyton | Tlacolotl, Ecuador

Venue: Sentient Oval, Kirkham

TRACK AND TRACE
Whatever happened to Fûćü Cúkî and Nossï Lloò?

When the Cup of Harmony comes around it get’s us thinking, here in the office, about the foreigners we are coming up against in that competition and has us reaching for our nerdy stats books to see if we can find fellows from our domestic pitxi history - that’s football to you and me - who represented some of the countries we are talking about; on this occasion we wondered if there had ever been a sentient object in the state championships down the years. Obviously office joker Juan-Line Juateguay mentioned a few non-sentient centre-halves who might qualify as solid objects like ‘The Wall’ at Indepeniencia - Gustavo Cotilla; but in truth there really was no-one in history from Sylestone who had appeared in the state leagues over the last century and a quarter, at least not that was written down. We had to stretch the interpretation of ‘object’ to find anyone at all worth talking about, and when we stretched it to encompass ‘objectification’, there was really no-one else we were going to write about other than indegene rights protesters and spectacular streakers Fûćü Cúkî and Nossï Lloò. Ah, streaking! Remember that? It’s probably a generational thing. Nowadays with anti-social media and all the platforms in the world for self-expression and narcissism, perhaps there is no longer a need to strip naked and run around a football pitch in front of a packed stadium being chased gladiatorially by the police and stewards, poor Cristianos to the lions, the crowd baying with appreciation of the jiggling wobbling fleshy bits bouncing around between bemused players. Every man and woman who had been a boy and girl of a certain age will recall hoping to catch such a spectacle during the their coming to sexual maturity, although, being a devoted follower of Sardíneros in the bottom reaches of the football pyramid, I knew most of the few dozen people attending those matches and there wasn’t a soul among them I desired to see naked. But I dreamed of the unlikely day Fûćü Cúkî and Nossï Lloò sneaked into our Calleja Cóndor ground to bring their naked campaign to the home of the pink-and-silvers!

The couple from the Antivador were champions of the Uaiaey cause, the scattered tribe of the Islas Antivadorio, who had not gained the same standing as various other indegene tribes - the Xico, Huayna and Ixta - who were equal stakeholders in Tequiloan society. In an attempt to raise awareness of the cause of the Uaiaey, Fûćü and Nossï travelled the length and breadth of the country, sneaking into football matches and streaking onto the pitch, stark naked and perfectly manicured. There was plenty to admire about their cause, and even more to admire about their streaking - here were one spectacular couple endowed with all the perfect gifts to set a fire in the heart of the most jaded spectator. It was a great cause for celebration when they appeared from nowhere and flew onto the pitch, lithely and gracefully, objects of desire from all around the ground and beyond, across television channels keen to offer up a titillating glimpse of the couple all in the name of a good cause. Thanks to Fûćü and Nossï, every man and woman of Tequilo became a supporter of Uaiaey rights; the tribe’s elevation into modern Tequiloan society was rapid and welcome - a happy ending. But what of Fûćü Cúkî and Nossï Lloò? Both declined well-paid opportunities for more public limelight as models, television celebrities and, from north of the border in morally bankrupt Usorno, careers in the adult film industry; after Nossï gave birth to their only son Osò Mëssî, she went to University to become an environmental justice lawyer, while Fûćü concentrated on being a stay-at-home father in the traditional family home near Gardaresso, and wrote a memoir of their streaking days, 24cm - How Long Until We Are Equal? - sadly underappreciated because he refused the publishers plea to include some photographic plates within the book documenting their days of running around naked with lecherous police officers hot on their tails.

RÚI DE LAS ROVAS
Season Two is here - what are the famous Raza family up to now?

He’s back! Following the huge success of the rebooted Rúi de Los Rovas (literally no-one wrote in to complain) we launch season two of the reinvigorated cartoon strip following the fortunes of legendary Rúi Raza, fictional world class player, manager and now football agent, age 144 and going strong at his offices of the Raza Agency in ‘Switzerland’; where there are no extradition agreements and where he works with his son Roque, grandson Ronaldo, great-grand-daughter Rita and her son, generation five’s Rodi Raza-Shearer, coming through the ranks at Rúi’s legendary old club Blackburn Rovers. In the last season, to recap, Rúi, following an affair with the Princess of Monaco that went wrong (entirely his fault) the agency fled their Monte Carlo offices and briefly worked off his yacht the SS Sepp Blatter in a Russian harbour protected by his great friend Vlad ‘The Inhaler’ Putin, before settling for a fancy suite at Infantino Towers, Geneva, once the HQ of fallen money-laundering and people-trafficking cartel ‘FIFA’. The agency’s latest and greatest success was in getting superstar Galactico client Gareth Bale out of fancy-pants The Real Madrid and back to his old club, Southampton, the only team in the world prepared to admit they could afford his wages. While all this was happening, young Blackburn trainee Rodi Raza-Shearer was having problems of his own after getting a local lass up the Damian Duff and having to be rescued from the cut by his influential Uncle Alan, from the other side of his family - much to Rúi’s chagrin: only one player was more loved at The Rovers than Rúi Raza, and that was Uncle Alan Shearer. Rúi hates Uncle Alan. Stay tuned for more shenanigans in season two, as Roque undergoes intense physio as part of his recovery from the assassination attempt in Russia that nearly kicked off World War 3 between Vlad’s Russia and The Principality of Monaco; Rodi Raza-Shearer goes out on loan to barrel bottom-scrapers Buried; and his mum Rita picks up a Nobel Peace Prize for her part in talking Monaco out of invading Russia. It’s all in Rúi de Las Rovas - exclusive to your GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!! Extra.

1Or TG Tequilo - really, do! We guarantee to read every letter, and print or paraphrase or misquote each of them.

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