AVBF Rugby 7's VI Everything Thread

[Abanhfleft]

DISCLAIMER: Gaelic Gamers is an independent sports blogging website created by four cousins with a common liking and passion for sports of all kinds and is in no way or form affiliated with or organized by any official news organization in the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft. All statements and opinions posted here are our own and not anyone else's.

---

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

The Rugby Rundown (Sevens Edition!)
with Graham O'Doherty

ALPEN VIEW BREW FESTIVAL RUGBY SEVENS VI TOURNAMENT: GAME FOUR
It is an absolute miracle that I even managed to get out of bed after all the beer I had consumed the previous night. I'm not the kind of guy to suffer actual head-splitting hangovers every time I drink, but that doesn't also mean that I don't ever have hangovers at all. The point I'm trying to make is that I sleep long hours after drinking copious amounts of beer (which the Alpen View Brew Festival provides lots of opportunities to do), so it's a right miracle I'm even awake in time to get down to the festival and watch some rugger, let alone type up a quasi-match review of sorts while waiting for the next match to be played. Hello guys, and welcome back to another edition of The Rugby Rundown Sevens Edition with me, your gay Irishman Graham O'Doherty. Only one day has passed here in Neu Engollon and yet we have already played three out of five games in the AVBF Rugby Sevens Tournament. Have I mentioned that rugby sevens is one of the literally quickest sports out there?

Game four sees our Revolutionaries going up against Pratapgadh. They're a competent nation, always plugging along with their sports programs to gather fame and renown for their country. They're also one of the few nations that I look forward to us playing with, and not just we've got a nice record against them across a few sports. Pratapgadh are a team that are actually interested in playing and not just absorbing the pressure that comes to them from the bigger teams like Neu Engollon, Hutanjia, Ko-oren and Nova Anglicana, those kinds of countries. Pratapgadh are not afraid to take it to the other team, you know what I mean? It doesn't matter to them if the team they're up against is better than them, on their level, or worse; Pratapgadh will play their hearts out against their opponents whoever they may be. And I like that about them. And they certainly didn't disappoint. This game of rugby sevens between Abanhfleft and Pratapgadh is a game that that can be enjoyed sober or drunk, and I'm not really sure which state I was in when I sat down to watch. I certainly got my money's worth for this one, that's for sure.

Only one more game left to play now, against Esportivan Darmen. I still haven't figured out if they are an integral part of Darmen proper or if they've just got a lot more autonomy than usual. Well, we already have four out of five wins in this tournament. Why not make it five out of five? The way we've been playing so far, I wouldn't put such a feat out of the realm of possibility. Fingers crossed we'll make it through, five out of five! XOXO from Graham....

Pratapgadh (14)
Try: Pendharkar 4' c
Vesuwala 8' c
Con: (2/2)

Abanhfleft (26)
Try: Zilner 3' c
Moran 10' c
Con: al-Thabsi (2/2)
Pen: al-Thabsi 2', 5', 9'
Rakitic 13'

[Nova Anglicana]

Lion's Roar

A SportsWorld Weblog

Rugby and brews in Burgunden
by Omega Lion



The perfect combination.

I'm reporting here from Burgunden, in Neu Engollon, at the Alpen View Brew Festival. The AVBF is first and foremost a beer festival and competition, drawing brewers and beer fans from across the multiverse to taste and judge. But it's also a rugby competition, specifically a rugby 7s competition. 7s is a code of rugby that's been growing in popularity, and it involves cutting down all the normal things associated with rugby. Instead of 15 players a side, you get 7. Instead of two 40-minute halves, you get two 7-minute halves. The shortened nature of the games allows you to cram a lot more rugby into a smaller amount of time. For example, I'm writing this on Saturday afternoon, the second day of the competition, and the Lions have played four matches already, with one more to come. As for the how the Lions have done, it's a bit of a mixed bag. Look below for match reports and beer reports.

Game 1: Nova Anglicana 35-5 Esportivan Darmen

Whoo! What a way to begin the tournament. Yes, Esportivan Darmen are an unranked team, but you know what? It's always fun to enjoy a big win. It was a balanced attack, with five different players scoring tries, and our fly half Niewmeijer went 5/5 on his conversions, which is always good. The other thing I love is that there were plenty of cheers from the crowd, even if most of them weren't Lions partisans. We're all here to enjoy the rugby and to root for exciting teams and players, no matter who they are.

Lion Beer: Lion Stout

Why not start off with a classic? I love chocolate and coffee, and Lion Stout gives that to you every time. Yes, its whopping 8.8% alcohol content is a lot to start off with, but it's a rugby competition. If you're not getting drunk, you're not trying. It goes down smooth and rich, just like this satisfying opening victory.

Game 2: Pratapgadh 28-12 Nova Anglicana

What can I say about this one? It stunk. Missed tackles, sloppy play, getting outrun. It was 21-0 at the half, and that's basically a recipe for defeat when you only have seven minutes to make up the deficit. Not that the Lions didn't try; they pulled to 21-12, but they just didn't have it in them today. The only thing you can do at this point as a fan is drink more and hope they improve next time.

Lion Beer: Her Majesty's Most Imperial IPA

I went with a new one from Lion this time. Imperial IPAs are getting more and more popular, and Lion decided to try their hand at one. I will say, it's not my style, really, but I still enjoyed it. Kerry Erickson and his team are amazing, and they can turn out a great beer. If you love hops, try this one. Even if you don't love hops, this is still worth a try for the grapefruit taste. Plus it's 8.2%, so it helped me get more hammered and not worry about the fact that the Lions looked bad in this one.

Game 3: Abanhfleft 25-5 Nova Anglicana

One rule of sports: never let one bad loss turn into two. The Lions forgot about that one here. They were obviously disappointed after losing to newcomers Pratapgadh, and it clearly got to them. They wanted to win so badly, they were overaggressive and everyone was trying to do too much. Denis Ferrer was ranting and raving on the sidelines, but Abanhfleft just had the better teamwork and gameplan, and they won easily. A tough loss that pretty much knocked the Lions out of Cup competition.

Lion Beer: Notre Maison Biere de Garde

This beer is malt-forward, but not so malty that it overwhelms everything else. There's toffee and hops in there too, and its 4.8% alcohol content makes it eminently drinkable. I decided to go with a lower-alcohol beer, because it was still the afternoon and I wanted to pace myself after my first two beers were both above 8%. It was a good choice, even if the Lions got blown out. It's sometimes hard to just sit and enjoy a beer when the Lions are losing, because you feel bad for sipping and smiling when your team's getting its butt kicked. But even though the Lions lost, I recommend this one as a tasty session beer.

Game 4: Nova Anglicana 22-14 The Jovannic

This wasn't the prettiest win, but it was an important one. The Lions can't advance to the Cup competition, because of their head-to-head loss to Pratapgadh, but it does put them one win clear of the other three teams in the group, in a good spot to advance to the Plate competition. This was kind of a grinder, with the Lions going up 12-0 early, the Jovannic rallying to take the lead 14-12 early in the second half, and the Lions attempting to salt it away by scoring two tries late. It would have been easier if they'd made more than one of four conversions, but a win is a win. The Lions pull to a .500 record

Lion Beer: Harvest White Ale

This is another Lion classic, and I always enjoy it. It's the right mix of drinkability and complexity, of spice and fruit, to make it easy to devour, but interesting enough to savor.

Their next game is against Natanians and Nosts, the second seed in the group, who have gone 1-0-3 so far. Based on the Lions' head-to-head victories over The Jovannic and Esportivan Darmen, they're in the Plate competition. However, a win would earn them a better seed and a better chance at silverware. As for my next beer, I think I'm going with a classic, since the two wins have been classics and the two losses have been new beers.

More from Lion's Roar
IBS XII on the horizon: who will we send?
NAFL season in full swing
Check out this interview with Mark Singleton

(OOC: Logo at top shamelessly cribbed from Pride of Detroit, Detroit Lions blog. The opinions expressed above are the opinions of the writer and not necessarily indicative of the opinions of Nova Anglicans or the user behind Nova Anglicana.)

[TJUN-ia]

Saturday arrived with the Cup out of the question for the Jaguars, but the race for the Plate was still on heading into our fixtures against the unranked teams. Baker Park was up first on a nice morning in Burgunden, Neu Engollon.

It certainly was a back and forth game. Wyn Gwyneth kicked off the scoring for the Jags, with Jose Valbuena kicking the conversion, but Jack Barry fought back and Lucas Odekume kicked the points to make it a tied game. Valbuena provided 7 points of his own which were responded in turn by Odekume. 14-14 all and it was all to play for, but Baker Park took the advantage with a try from Steven Apolito. Odekume missed the conversion, but TJUN-ia and Valbuena could only manage a penalty kick before play ended on Exhibition Pitch A.

TJUN-ia is yet to win a single game and now the Plate is out of the question heading into the lunch break. I don't know if the beer is the problem but this tournament at this beer festival has certainly been a disaster thus far for Rugby TJUN-ia after the instant success in League. Only Sajnur is behind us and we will play them after lunch. Can we enter the Bowl Playoffs with momentum? We shall see...GO JAGS!

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RESULTS
FRIDAY
M1: vs Darmen (5) - D 19-19 (T-3rd)
M2: vs Northwest Kalactin (13) - L 19-21 (4th)
M3: vs Hutanjia (1) - L 7-29 (5th)
M4: vs Commonwealth of Baker Park (UR) - L 17-19 (5th)

[Terre Septentrionale]

Terre Septentrionale will likely compete for the Plate

Burgunden, Zürich, Neu Engollon - With 4 games played in the Alpen View Beer Festival (3 yesterday and one earlier this morning), Terre Septentrionale is currently in 3rd place with one game to go against hosts Neu Engollon. The Nordiques will likely finish 3rd or 4th and play for the plate. There's a slim possibility that they beat the Goats and play for the cup or that they finish 5th and play for the bowl.

Friday morning: 29-15 win vs North Alezia

Terre Septentrionale took a 14-0 lead early with tries from Élisabeth Niquette-Fitzgerald and JJ Kozikowski-Gilmore. Both conversions were good. Muhammad Izliq Yamtaqdaba
scored for North Alezia and the Reprezentacja Nordycki's lead was cut to 14-7. North Alezia was penalised at the 6th minute and the Northmen increased their lead to 17-7.

In the 2nd half, North Alezia scored when Gerald Sands crossed the goalline on the right side but the conversion was missed. 17-12. Terre Septentrionale scored two unanswered tries, one by Pierre-Louis Wisniewski at the 9th minute, and one by JJ Kozikowski-Gilmore, his 2nd of the game, but the conversion wasn't good on this one. The score was 29-12. Terre Septentrionale was penalised with one minute left in the game and the final score was 29-15.

Friday afternoon: 19-17 loss vs HUElavia

Whatever the sport is, we meet often HUElavia, maybe we can start talking of a rivalry between both nations? HUElavia scored first and took a 7-0 lead. Pierre-Louis Wisniewski crossed the goal line for a try at the 4th minute and the try was converted. Élisabeth Niquette-Fitzgerald made a drop kick one minute later and the score was 10-7 for Terre Septentrionale at the halftime.

HUElavia scored early in the 2nd half but Terre Septentrionale answered immediatly with a try from Margarita Schulze-Martinez. Both conversions were good and the score was 17-14 Terre Septentrionale. HUElavia attacked very late in the game and their winger crossed the goal line for a try, every player on the team celebrated and they ran out of time to make the conversion. The final score was 19-17 HUElavia.

Friday late afternoon: 21-19 win vs Québec

In late afternoon, the Nordiques played against Québec, an hockey powerhouse and beat them 21-19, in rugby not in hockey. JJ Kozikowski-Gilmore crossed the goal line at the 2nd minute and Terre Septentrionale took a 7-0 lead. But Québec answered immediately with a converted try and a non-converted one two minutes later. Québec was leading 12-7 at the halftime.

Olivia Fouquet scored at the 9th minute and the score was 14-12 but Québec answered back again with a try from their center and they were leading 19-14. The Reprezentacja Nordycki also replied immediately with a try by Méganne Sauvageau-Panneton and the score was 21-19. Québec attempted a drop kick late in the game to take the lead but they missed it and the final score was 21-19 Terre Septentrionale.

Saturday morning: 29-5 loss vs Elejamie

The #2 team in rugby totally crushed us. The only try by the Northmen was at the 5th minute in the first half when JJ Kozikowski-Gilmore crossed the goal line but the conversion wasn't good.

Saturday afternoon:

Terre Septentrionale will play against the hosts, Neu Engollon. The winner will compete for the Cup and the loser, for the Plate. If we lose there's a slim chance we play for the bowl instead.

The festival

The La tribune Septentrionale crew is enjoying the festival, we get to taste some foreign beers and our own Zbaszyn beer before and after the games. There's live bands and DJs but we concentrates our activities on rugby so we don't have time to enjoy them. If you aren't currently at the Alpen View Beer Festival, you definately need to come next year!

Léa-Maude Berthiaume,
La tribune Septentrionale

[Lisander]

After the match against Boda, the atmosphere of tranquility was visible in the tent that Lisander's team occupied. The team was 4-0, only the game against Ko-oren was left. And by thar time, the team was already in "party mode" some were drinking beer, others were eating, chatting with visitors and other players.

Matias Baudelaire, Lisander's Fly-Half, reached out to one of the tent's coolers to grab a can of energy drink. When opening the cooler, Diego Boni ran towards him and covered it with the lid, as if he were hiding something inside the container.

"Hey, don't open that one!" A voice interrupted him. That was Diego Boni, Scrum-half for both Northern Cape Cavaliers of United 10 and Irises Sevens.

"Hey, what's this here? Golden Star? Don't tell me you filled our cooler with beer, Boni! The other drinks won't cool."

The Cooler was full of bottles of Golden Star, a beer produced in Lisander. Well, it didn't seem wrong, after all, this was an event planned to have people drinking beer.

"Relax there. This is not the team's cooler. It's the one over there." Diego Boni replied to Matias Baudelaire. "This one is mine, but don't tell the coach. I brought Golden Star to the festival because they paid me some money... It's kind of smuggling"

"Hey, don't they have a booth at the fest..."

"No. none of Lisander's four beer brands send a drop of beer here. They just wanted cheap exposure and gave me this cooler. I just have to keep drinking around and if any foreigner asks me, I'll give one."

Baudelaire was able to remember each of the four, after all, at the end of the year, when he returned home after a full year at Midland University, he drank them all with relatives and friends. Yeckr was the most popular, but for some time now it had fallen in quality, especially after the company changed its market vision to invent strange things, like Beer with Tequila and Beer of different colors. Martell was awful. Crap that tasted like corn. It was not surprising that it was the cheapest. Breckland was an interesting Ale, with a more fruity taste. But Golden Star was the best. A remarkable flavored lager, launched just under two years ago, which was rapidly conquering the market.

"Then give me one there. I'm a foreigner."

"You are kidding me, get los..."

"Ah, come on... I came from Elejamie to participate in the event, man. I haven't had a lisanderian beer for months ... give me one and I go out to see if I can meet someone I know. I'll do the advertising for you and I'm just asking for one beer to do this. "

"Okay, but if the inspectors show up, you throw it away, I don't want to take any chances for smuggling them into the event without a license or something like that, nor do I want problems with the Union..."

"Cool. Man... I feel like a drug dealer doing this!"

[Neu Engollon]

Sixth Annual AVBF Sevens Tournament (2020 Edition)

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CONFEDERACY PARK, BURGUNDEN
RUGBY EXHIBITION PITCHES

GROUP A
Hutanjia 35–17 Darmen
Baker Park 10–31 Northwest Kalactin
Sajnur 10–24 TJUN-ia

                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Hutanjia                5    5   0   0   155   45 +110    15
2 Darmen                  5    3   1   1   133   69  +64    10
3 Northwest Kalactin      5    3   0   2    92  108  −16     9
4 Baker Park              5    2   0   3    76  133  −57     6
5 TJUN-ia                 5    1   1   3    86   98  −12     4
6 Sajnur                  5    0   0   5    58  147  −89     0


GROUP B
North Alezia 29–5 HUElavia
Terre Septentrionale 12–31 Neu Engollon
Quebec 12–24 Elejamie

                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Elejamie                5    5   0   0   152   48 +104    15
2 Neu Engollon            5    4   0   1   136   69  +67    12
3 North Alezia            5    2   0   3    88   96   −8     6
4 Terre Septentrionale    5    2   0   3    84  113  −29     6
5 Quebec                  5    1   0   4    76  110  −34     3
6 HUElavia                5    1   0   4    41  141 −100     3

GROUP C
Kriegiersien 21–19 Hannasean Federation
Boda 14–28 Copper Cuprum
Ko-oren 14–26 Lisander

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Lisander                5    5   0   0   138   55  +83    15
2 Copper Cuprum           5    4   0   1   134   71  +63    12
3 Kriegiersien            5    3   0   2   107   83  +24     9
4 Hannasean Federation    5    2   0   3   102   97   +5     6
5 Ko-oren                 5    1   0   4    71  132  −61     3
6 Boda                    5    0   0   5    38  152 −114     0

GROUP D
Abanhfleft 43–0 Esportivan Darmen
The Jovannic 7–31 Pratapgadh
Natanians and Nosts 26–26 Nova Anglicana

                          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Abanhfleft              5    5   0   0   157   24 +133    15
2 Pratapgadh              5    4   0   1   137   62  +75    12
3 Nova Anglicana          5    2   1   2   100   98   +2     7
4 Natanians and Nosts     5    1   1   3   100  114  −14     4
5 The Jovannic            5    1   0   4    68  134  −66     3
6 Esportivan Darmen       5    1   0   4    40  170 −130     3

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Cup Seeding

#1 Abanhfleft vs. #8 Darmen
#4 Lisander vs. #5 Pratapgadh
#2 Hutanjia vs. #7 Copper Cuprum
#3 Elejamie vs. #6 Neu Engollon

Plate Seeding

#1 Kriegiersien vs. #8 Natanians and Nosts
#4 Hannasean Federation vs. #5 North Alezia
#2 Northwest Kalactin vs. #7 Baker Park
#3 Nova Anglicana vs. #6 Terre Septentrionale

Bowl Seeding

#1 TJUN-ia vs. #8 Boda
#4 The Jovannic vs. #5 HUElavia
#2 Quebec vs. #7 Sajnur
#3 Ko-oren vs. #6 Esportivan Darmen

[Kriegiersien]

Kriegiesien wins the duel between the last two Olympic Champions (of the men).
The 21-19 against the Hannasean Federation was only a duel for prestige, as the fear that Ko-oren with a giant win against Lisander could overcome the loser or the hope Boda with a great triumph against Copper Cuprum could save the winner a place in the cup, was a very theoretical one.

Both teams can meet again in the fight for the plate, for now Kriegiersien will face as Top Seed Natanians and Nosts.

About the upcoming opponent the coach just said:
“I think we are favoured, even though they are in front of us in the ranking, but anything can happen. I heard it is nearly impossible to injure their players, so we can go full ham here.”

+++

Some shady figures are meeting at a beer bench in a corner. It is the board of the Scorpion Brewery.

“We are outdone here from Greenbeer like our Rugby team in the competition. Our good name is at stake.”
“We are making the better beer. That is the main thing”, says one of them, taking a sip of a ‘Good Gift’, one of their brands, grimacing after that.
“But the marketing is important, too. The people laugh about and with Beerbold, but they are scared of our Scorpions.”
“But this is the heraldic animal of our nation!”
“Tell that to our youth. A deadly animal isn’t that hip any more. We need to reinvent it!”
“You want to go against our traditions? How dare you?”
“I don’t want to get rid of it. But it has to be … newer...hipper...more appealing to a foreign drunkard, too.”
“And how do you want to do that?”
“First we shouldn’t let deadly Scorpions run around our booth..”
“But we get them cheaper in large-scale..”
“And they are part of our culture..”
“And instead we will have 'Boozy', a plushscorpion we will sell in addition. One free for every second beer crate.”

He shows them a version of a plush scorpion sucking from a beer barrel.

“Awww. I must admit. Cute.”
“Hm, we could also get the kids into the boat with that.”
“And people in retirement homes could use that. A plush Boozy to cuddle and a “Good Gift” after that for breakfast and lunch and dinner.”
“I am convinced. When can you start the production?”
“Ah, I already made some thousands. We can show them here. And get rid of the ones who sting people.”

[Abanhfleft]

DISCLAIMER: Gaelic Gamers is an independent sports blogging website created by four cousins with a common liking and passion for sports of all kinds and is in no way or form affiliated with or organized by any official news organization in the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft. All statements and opinions posted here are our own and not anyone else's.

---

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

The Rugby Rundown (Sevens Edition!)
with Graham O'Doherty

ALPEN VIEW BREW FESTIVAL RUGBY SEVENS VI TOURNAMENT: GAME FIVE
Hello guys, and welcome back to another edition of The Rugby Rundown Sevens Edition with me, your gay Irishman Graham O'Doherty. The sun hasn't even set on the second day of the AVBF Rugby Sevens here in Neu Engollon and yet we are already done with the group stage of the whole competition. Yes, that's right. Once again rugby sevens has proven itself to be one of the fastest competitions in the multiverse, and once again I have managed to work that particular fact into yet another one of my posts. You know, sometimes my genius... it frightens me.

Five group stage matches out of five down, five wins out of five games done. Absolute domination of the game by the lads through and through. Oh how I wish all of our other national teams would take a look at our rugby sevens boys and take some lessons about controlling the game their way and making everyone else play to their terms. This, lads, I tell you, is the future of Abanhfleft. Don't let your opponents decide the game for you, lads and lasses. Know your own game plan and implement it, by force if you have to, but implement it nonetheless. Everyone surely must have seen the effects this has had on our AVBF Sevens campaign. If anyone refuses to or just simply cannot see this as a massive bloody learning opportunity that can be applied anywhere at any time... well, that's on them. I know what I'm going to do to my team if I ever become a coach or a manager for one of our national teams. Yeah, I know, there's as much a chance of me being considered for the top rugby or football job as Imperial Markovsky winning the goddamn Premier League, but still. On the off chance the impossible does happen, at least I've got my game plan ready.

I mean, what else is there to talk about with regards to the game itself? Abanhfleft won, and by a stonking huge margin at that! Poor Esportivan Darmen looked like they didn't even know what hit them. And thus our journey to the top of Group D takes us from the Esportivan part of Darmen (autonomous or independent or forgotten about, I still couldn't tell) to Darmen itself. Well, their rugby sevens team, actually. As one of the top teams in this tournament we have qualified for the Cup, the highest tier of awards that rugby sevens competitions love to hand out. Because of the sheer number of beatdowns we've handed out this term, we've earned ourselves the top seed, literally. Yes, for once, Abanhfleft are number one! Who knows for how long, though. And we know Darmen are a dab old hand when it comes to rugby. Darmen may have a 3-1-1 record, but that's in a group that includes Hutanjia, Northwest Kalactin, Baker Park, and even newcomers punching way above their weight like TJUN-ia and Sajnur. So don't write off Darmen just yet. This might prove to be the toughest test our lads have ever faced. And depending on the results later on today, there might well be some red faces for those who underestimate their opponents. XOXO from Graham....

Abanhfleft (43)
Try: Zilner 1' c
Partridge 3' c
Greathouse 9' c
Votaw 10' c
Con: al-Thabsi (4/4)
Pen: al-Thabsi (2', 5', 6')
Rakitic (11', 12')

Esportivan Darmen (0)

[TJUN-ia]

After the lunch break here in Neu Engollon, there was one more match to be played before the playoffs for all 3 competitions began. After a draw and 3 straight loses, TJUN-ia was feeling down but Brutas Excillius wanted something to take into the Bowl Playoffs and hoped to finally break the duck against winless Sajnur.

It started off really well, with Dan McCrawley scoring the first try of the day (Jose Valbuena converting as usual). Sajnur hit back almost immediately with the try from Tofin Jallo and the conversion from Sion Kurba but after that, TJUN-ia did something they had nether done so far here in Burgunden: take over the game. Carl Crorker scored the try (with Valbuena converting) before he gave up a penalty, which Kurba acted upon to get 3 for his side. 14-10, but Josefin Parjolta then conceded a penalty himself - which Valbuena converted with ease to give TJUN-ia it's 7-point lead back. And to ensure the 3 points would finally be given to TJUN-ia, Valbuena scored and converted himself to end the duck.

So...we finally won! Finally, TJUN-ia has something from the AVBF and that might be important heading into the Playoffs. Because of that draw with Darmen, were actually the No.1 seed in the Bowl Playoffs (most undeserved No.1 of all time, but we'll take it). It will be interesting to see how the Jaguars get on against teams that have had similar fortunes and we won't wait long to find out. We will play against winless Boda soon. GO JAGS!

---

RESULTS
FRIDAY
M1: vs Darmen (5) - D 19-19 (T-3rd)
M2: vs Northwest Kalactin (13) - L 19-21 (4th)
M3: vs Hutanjia (1) - L 7-29 (5th)

SATURDAY
M4: vs Commonwealth of Baker Park (UR) - L 17-19 (5th)
M5: vs Sajnur (UR) - W 24-10 (5th)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PM: vs Boda (UR)

[Neu Engollon]

Sixth Annual AVBF Sevens Tournament (2020 Edition)

---

CONFEDERACY PARK, BURGUNDEN
QUARTERFINAL RESULTS

THE CUP

Darmen 19–31 Abanhfleft
Pratapgadh 7–36 Lisander
Copper Cuprum 19–17 Hutanjia
Elejamie 28–24 Neu Engollon

THE PLATE

Natanians and Nosts 12–26 Kriegiersien
North Alezia 12–28 Hannasean Federation
Baker Park 14–28 Northwest Kalactin
Nova Anglicana 24–14 Terre Septentrionale

THE BOWL

Boda 7–45 TJUN-ia
The Jovannic 26–12 HUElavia
Sajnur 10–36 Quebec
Esportivan Darmen 12–38 Ko-oren

CONFEDERACY PARK, BURGUNDEN
SEMI FINAL MATCHUPS

THE CUP

Abanhfleft vs Elejamie
Lisander vs Copper Cuprum

THE PLATE

Kriegiersien vs Nova Anglicana
Hannasean Federation vs Northwest Kalactin

THE BOWL

TJUN-ia vs Quebec
The Jovannic vs Ko-oren

[Kriegiersien]

Natanians and Nosts 12–26 Kriegiersien.


Directly after the match a blonde, good looking reporter from Scorpion Beer TV runs around with her cameraman and a bottle ‘Good Gift’ from the Scorpion Brewery in her hand. She turns to her cameraman.


“Ok, Charly, keep rolling, we need a good interview with one of our players, happy after the win, eager drinking one of our beers. That would be gold for our PR department. Oh, there is Theodore Hernandez, who made the last try.“

She positions next to Hernandez, shoving the microphone into his face.

“Theo, you made the final points. How do you feel?”

“Very good, I think we played great. To beat such an opponent we had to give our best. And we did.”

“Talking of the best: How about a good beer after the match?”

“Oh, no! I don’t drink that. A Schnapps or Whiskey. But Beer isn’t mine, thanks.”

He goes to fist bump with other players.

“Ok, Charly, we need someone else. There is this Orc chick, Dulug Toothdrawer, she surely will like a good drink. Miss… errr. Dulug, Dulug Toothdrawer!“

The massive Orc turns to her and the reporter gulps.

„Err, you played a great game. How do you celebrate that?”

“I will punch some things. Makes me stronger.”

“Uh. Do you like a drink, a good beer?”

“I don’t drink. Never did. Makes brain slower.”

“Uh, ok. Good luck in the next matches.”

“Wow, she was scary. Wouldn't have been the best face for a campaign anyway I guess. We have to go on. Over there. Saoul Bastian. A Hooker must be someone who knows fun in his life. Sir, you played a great match and so on. Will you celebrate with a good beer?”

The addressed turns with a grimace.
“My father beat me and my siblings every time he was drunk. He made our life hell and destroyed his own. He finally killed our mother and went to prison. I hate alcohol with all my heart. I am just here for the rugby. All these drunken people make me want to vomit and angry. So angry…”
He clenches his fists, while the reporter sneaks away with the beer behind her back.

After being out of his sight, she franticly looks around.
“There, this is Norbert Newcomer, I think he played, too. Hello? Mr. Newcomer, this was a great match…”

“Well, I didn’t play much…”
“However, you won. The team won. Will you not celebrate with a good beer?”
“Oh yes. I love this err… Sunrise Grapefruit Beer. I think from Lion Brewing. Yes. I saw it at their booth and it is really fruit…hello? Where are you going?”

The reporter grabs the next Kriegiersien player, Phelix Yuda.

“You surely like a beer. I have one. Don’t tell me you hate Kriegiersien beer?”

“No. I like beer. Is it Greenbeer? I love that. Greenbeer, Greenbeer. Who brews the best beer, who sponsors the best team here? The song from this leprechaun is really catchy and…hey...”
Yuda gazes after the women, who is stomping away, shouting profanities after throwing the beer to the ground. He turns to the cameraman.

“Why did she do that?”

The cameraman just shrugs.

[The Jovannic]

As they watched Starblaydia put end to Jovannic qualification hopes, the Emperors prepared for their upcoming match against HUElavia. You could say that they were more into football than rugby, but it gathered less attention in The Jovannic than rose wine aging, so they had a valid reason.

After the match

Somehow The Jovannic managed to beat a weakened HIElavia with unbelievable runs by Maja Pahit and Killoi Won won us the game. Next is Ko-oren, where our motto will be to cross our fingers and hope for the best.

[Lisander]

"So, here they come. Irises... You know what to do."

That was already a tradition. It started on AVBF 4 when Irises shown a face of disapproval to Copper Cuprum Chicken Ritual. That turned into a stalemate where neither team moved before the Match Official threatening the players with cards.

To show even more disapproval to the barbaric practice of Copperites, in this edition, the demonstration was replaced. In the first game, in the group phase, the Irises didn't even enter in the field while the Copperites made their small show. But warned by the organization and the union that it should not be repeated, after all, it was not polite. In fact, even between the union, there was a great repulsion to that ritual. But they would hardly admit it, since rugby was the gentlemen sport.

For that time, when they heard the words from the captain, Julian Liberat, they simply turned their backs to the Copper Cuprum team while they presented the chicken beheading. That was enough to the Match Official. The following dialogues was captured by his microphone and camera.

"Green, move. Let's not do this again. Captain, It's the second time already, you made it before. I'll start handling cards. That's not polite."

"Not polite, huh? *beep* you, that piece of *beep* there is not polite, and you still allow it! You're the one that is not polite, you *beep*!"

The Match Official, appalled by the words and the gesture of the Captain of the Irises, who raised both middle fingers, handed Liberat immediately a red card.

"Captain, leave."

Liberat, as pissed as he could be, left the field.

"You *beep*. We're more polite than you, allowing those barbarians make everything they want!"

In the place of the Lisanderian #1, the coach sent Prop, Cyril Dunn.

"So, gentlemen, can we start again or is the Lisanderian team planning to throw another tantrum?"

"I think we made it very clear what we think you are, when you condone and allow these barbaric practices."

That one was the winger, Eleazar Castell.

"Despite you used better terms, seems like another Lisanderian is in need of some time off the pitch to rethink? So, go."

Eleazar Castell was also handed a card, luckily, it was only a yellow one. Two minutes in the sin bin.

"Can we start now or I'll need to give Copper Cuprum a WO?"

Eleazar Castell moved to the sideline, picked up a chair and sat.

Lisander started the semifinal game with Dunn, Pilar and Stanno, Boni, Baudelaire and Stapp.

[Elejamie]

So it had come to this. Another Elejamie vs Neu Engollon match. The Goats, hoping to overcome their bad start at the tournament against a team that not only routed them but also beat their league team to become world champions. Elejamie had finished top of the table, with the second day being a lot less productive but still a brilliant one. Neu Engollon, meanwhile, finished second in the group thanks to a 36-0 stomping of HUElavia and kept their nerve long enough to win their next two. This was bound to be a fun match regardless of the result.

Neu Engollon, who also hosted, kicked off first as they won the toss. Gionnaro Caravolo, the Engollonoan fly-hald gave the ball an almighty boot and Elejamie began their attack. They managed to make it into the 22 before Andino Paticci recovered the ball and began what ended up being a try for Johann Dorff, with Caravolo adding the extras to give their side a 7-0 lead after only a minute and a half. Adam McCracken was quick to answer with a try of his own barely a minute later, with Gary Toda converting it to level the scores. The rest of the half was a defensive one with several close calls but no points scored. Not until Caravolo kicked for a drop to close out the half to give his side a 10-7 lead going into the break.

Mike Decker's output wasn't as good due to him falling wrong in a tackle during the Terre Septentrionale match but he had recovered in time for this quarter final bout. He also had a whale of a half, even denying Felix Marten a try barely inches from the line. Another time, he managed to tackle Dorff into touch when he seemed to be in the clear. And he helped start the ruck that began the McCracken try.

But most importantly, he ended up scoring a try himself not long after the second half started. Toda kicked and Marten received. He began an attack that made it into the Elejamian 22 when captain Diego Molina ended the party and started an offence of his own. He passed to vice-captain David Kramer, who repeatedly traded the ball with himself, Toda and McCracken until Conrad Gemmel tackled Toda to retrieve the ball. He tried to pass to Paticci but Decker came out of nowhere, intercepted the pass and grounded the ball for a try to give his side the lead. Toda added the insurance and it was now 14-10.

Undeterred, Neu Engollon would try their darndest to answer back. Unfortunately, potential tries for them kept ending up going into touch or intercepted at a crucial part of the match. Things looked even more bleak when David Kramer scored the third try for his team, putting it down in between the posts so Toda could grab a third conversion. All hope seemed lost until Felix Marten went into maximum overdrive and scored two tries in quick succession. The first, he took advantage of a poorly-timed pass, ran down the pitch and dived for a try. The second was the result of a passing game between himself, Dorff and Hugo Koernsoff that saw Marten ground for the lead. Both times, Caravolo netted the extras.

Time was running out and it seemed like Elejamie would be bowing out much earlier than expected. As much as they respected the hosts and loved playing them, they couldn't let that happen. Just past the 13th minute, Paul Koppel found himself in the Engollonian 22. He got tackled and McCracken recovered. He got tackled and Toda recovered. He got tackled and Koppel revovered. Rinse and repeat. A few phases later, they were at the line. McCracken got tackled, Toda retrieved the ball and quickly passed it to Koppel, who quickly dived down and, despite Paticci trying to stop him, the ball was grounded for a try. While it wasn't in the most ideal spot, Gary Toda easily slotted in for conversion number four.

There wasn't much time left for any more tries. It was already past the 14th minute after the second pass. Eventually, Toda retrieved the ball and passed it to his captain, Diego Molina. He booted it into touch to end the proceedings. The Goats showed a bit more fight in this match, especially when compared to their first meeting this tournament, but they couldn't conquer the reigning champions. They could only go down 28-24. Now Elejamie had a date with Abanhfleft, whereas the Irises of Lisander had to conquer the Chicken Slaughterers of Copper Cuprum if they wanted to stay afloat and potentially set up a rematch of the last AVBF Sevens final.

Today was a good day and tomorrow could be even better. All they need now are two more wins and it'll be over. If not, then at least they're at the best place to drown their sorrows.

[TJUN-ia]

The Playoffs had arrived at the Alpen View Brew Festival Sevens Tournament and while the Bowl was not something Brutas Excillius wanted to fight for in Neu Engollon, the opportunity to win any type of silverware must not be turned down. TJUN-ia's only pieces of success thus far in international competition was Micheal Stefan's victory at the Malele 400 in NSSCRA and the victory of Valentina Spetsova and Austin McDanielson in the doubles tournament of the Hamilton International, the NSTT's Clay Court Grand Slam. At this point, even the Bowl would be considered a success for TJUN-ian sportsand the road to the bowl kicked off in the nighttime against winless Boda.

As it turns out, it took until the playoffs for the Jaguars to show some power as they torched poor Boda in style. Dan McCrawley scored 3 tries while the other 2 went to Suke Hoshinawa and Kennedy Vakatawa of all people. Jose Valbuena, the "Legs of TJUN-ian Sevens", managed to kick all of the conversions and even scored a penalty after substitute Lasha Tetrasvili was tackled high. Boda did manage to get 7 points themselves, but they were never going to win this one.

From 3 losses in a row to 2 wins on the bounce: Rugby Sevens can confuse from time to time, but the Jags will take it none the less. On Sunday, The Royal Kingdom of Quebec awaits us with a place in the mid-afternoon final at stake. No matter what happens now, we will be Top 4 in the Bowl - it's just about where we are that will be decided tomorrow. GO JAGS!

---

RESULTS
FRIDAY
M1: vs Darmen (5) - D 19-19 (T-3rd)
M2: vs Northwest Kalactin (13) - L 19-21 (4th)
M3: vs Hutanjia (1) - L 7-29 (5th)

SATURDAY
M4: vs Commonwealth of Baker Park (UR) - L 17-19 (5th)
M5: vs Sajnur (UR) - W 24-10 (5th)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BQF: vs Boda (UR) - W 45-7

SUNDAY
BSF: vs The Royal Kingdom of Quebec (UR)

[Abanhfleft]

DISCLAIMER: Gaelic Gamers is an independent sports blogging website created by four cousins with a common liking and passion for sports of all kinds and is in no way or form affiliated with or organized by any official news organization in the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft. All statements and opinions posted here are our own and not anyone else's.

---

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

The Rugby Rundown (Sevens Edition!)
with Graham O'Doherty

ALPEN VIEW BREW FESTIVAL RUGBY SEVENS VI TOURNAMENT: THE CUP QUARTERFINALS
Hello guys, and welcome back to another edition of The Rugby Rundown Sevens Edition with me, your gay Irishman Graham O'Doherty. The sun sets on the second day of the AVBF Rugby Sevens Tournament here in Neu Engollon, and we have already wrapped up the quarterfinals for the Cup, the Plate, and the Bowl. Rugby sevens sure is quite the fast sport, innit? By virtue of winning Group D, Abanhfleft have qualified for the Cup, the highest honor you could grab in a rugby sevens tourney. Our last group stage game was against Esportivan Darmen, and the luck of the draw has us pitted against their masters (or overlords or overseers or whatever) Darmen itself. I mean, we all know Darmen is one of the rugby powerhouses, although their recent results might not show it. I do believe Group A was something of a group of death, after all. Hutanjia actually did well to go unbeaten in that group, but then again, it's Hutanjia. Of course they'll be good too. But now let's talk about the game itself.

Both sides were really determined to win this one, that's for sure. The scores damn well reflect that. Neither side wanted to back down from the challenge, but in the end we just scored more than the Darmenis, which if I remember correctly is the end goal of all sports. Except darts. I think you actually need to have a lower score than your opponent to win in darts. Something like that. Anyway. The first half was essentially the two teams taking turns to score. How egalitarian of them. You love to see it. That's the thing about playing rugby on a regulation-sized pitch with less than half the players of a standard union side: it's much easier to get past the opponent and score. Which is exactly what happened. I mean, I know Paul Partridge is getting a bit long in the tooth but have you seen the man run when presented an open patch of grass in front of him? Man moves faster than a bullet train in such a situation, and he's just as difficult to stop.

I don't know what coach told the boys during the break, but it certainly worked wonders because Darmen never looked like they were ever going to threaten to score in the second half. Of course they did score a try, but it was unconverted and it was literally the only scoring chance they had. At least it was the only Darmeni scoring chance that actually turned into actual points on the board. Everything else was going Abanhfleft's way. Shame, really, but as my mama always said, in sports there must always be a winner and a loser. Tonight Abanhfleft was the winner, and Darmen the loser. But they were gracious in defeat, and Abanhfleft magnanimous in victory.

The semifinals for the Cup sees a rematch of two rugby titans: Abanhfleft and Elejamie. The last time these sides met was in the Rugby League World Cup in Copper Cuprum, and Elejamie got the advantage over the Revolutionaries by way of a penalty shootout. Yes, guys, an honest to goodness penalty shootout. But that's in rugby league. This is rugby sevens we're talking about now. Abanhfleft didn't even make it this far in the previous edition of the AVBF Rugby Sevens Tournament, but this isn't exactly uncharted territory either. I have faith in the boys. They will avenge our loss in Copper Cuprum. I believe. XOXO from Graham....

Darmen (19)
Try: Hafner 3' c
Fitzroy 5' c
Halloran 11' m
Con: (2/3)

Abanhfleft (31)
Try: Zilner 2' c
Partridge 4' c, 6' c
Moran 13' c
Con: al-Thabsi (3/3)
Greathouse (1/1)
Pen: al-Thabsi (4')

[Neu Engollon]

Terembev Pavilion
Confederacy Park
Burgunden, Zurich, Neu Engollon

He breezed into the Terembev corporate box in the Pavilion. One of the brewery managers invited in from their foreign production centers was in the corner. He was noshing on some food from one of the tents and washing it down with a Lion brew.

“Okay, I’m here. What did you want to show me?...
A box.” David Toft looked at her skeptically as he answered his own question.

“What’s in the box, dummy?” Erica, his sister and co-conspirator, scoffed, but realized she’d walked into that one.

“Yeah, I dunno…” He began to open it. He pulled out one of the items wrapped in protective paper.
“Okay, so the glassware they sell down at the merch booths?”

“For fuck’s sake... You’re a child! Do I have to do everything for you?” She grabbed at the glass and he pulled it out of her reach, purely out of habit. She then reached in for another glass from the box. She unwrapped it.

It was stunning, of cut, etched crystal with the current AVBF logo embossed on the front. She held it up to him.
“There, now do you see?”

“That is fancy. How much are we selling these for?”

“They’re not for sale, David. They are the participation gifts for all the teams in the rugby sevens. Two imperial pint glasses, two snifters, two weisses, and two 8 ounce pourers. Made by the famous Ehrmundel’s right here in Burgunden.”

“What?! That has to be ludicrously expensive with this fine crystal. No profit. One set for every member of every team!? That’s ludicrous! Don’t give those out. At least we’ll sell them and make that money back.”

“No...I already distributed them. Luckily we caught a couple of the teams before they left their hotels. I think it really lightened their mood after some tough losses here.”

“What happened to the hooded sweatshirts?”

“We did that last year. That was a very tacky consolation prize, David.”

“That was in addition to commemorative rugby balls with respective AVBF edition logos on them. We have given those every year.”

“Yes, those are great, but they’re not enough. Two years previous we gave out free cases of Burgunden Breus…”

“That was a very generous consolation gift.”

“A lot of the teams had trouble getting through their connecting airports. They were hauled off their planes for illegally transporting alcohol. Three and four years ago you literally had them give out crudely etched wooden spoons!”

“I was told that was the proper gift for a lot of foreign cultures. I was misinformed.”

“It’s an actual insult. It’s like tattooing a big ‘L’ on their foreheads. What, now... Did you listen to Hoppy Jensen on that one? A lot of national teams didn’t come back because of that, David. I worked hard on social media to play that one down.”

“This is Neu Engollon, Erica. Losers walk with nothing. That’s how we have always done it. None of this pampering…”

“But this isn’t just about Neu Engollon and what we do, David. Well, I mean it is to some degree, but it’s also about showing our best face. Are shitty wooden spoons our best face? Showing respect for teams that flew out here on their own coin isn’t pampering...Don’t think of it as profit...Which by the way we rake in hand over fist on the AVBF. And you damn well know it. This glassware is hardly a blink of an eye dent in that. Think of this as marketing. Think of how we’ll have rare glassware out there that promotes the AVBF for years to come. Maybe we can make a little extra to sell. It’s branding, David. Don’t you see? And also it encourages and softens the blow on the teams going home with no hardware. Win-win. Honestly, how do you run a huge regional conglomerate and you’re too blind to see things like this?”

“That’s not fair!”

“Spoken like a true capitalist. ‘Being fair is being socialist’. Isn’t that what you said to me once?”

“Fuck you, Erica. Whatever. Give out your fancy crystal. We can take it out of your company’s (Burgunden Breus) operating budget.” David stormed out of the pavilion box.

“Okay...Bye, you big fucking baby!”

[Neu Engollon]

Sixth Annual AVBF Sevens Tournament (2020 Edition)

---

CONFEDERACY PARK, BURGUNDEN
SEMIFINAL RESULTS

THE CUP

Elejamie 19-26 Abanhfleft
Copper Cuprum 14–22 Lisander

THE PLATE

Nova Anglicana 31–19 Kriegiersien
Northwest Kalactin 28–24 Hannasean Federation

THE BOWL

The Jovvanic 12–31 Ko-oren
TJUN-ia 33–10 Quebec

CONFEDERACY PARK, BURGUNDEN
FINALS MATCHUPS

THE CUP

Lisander vs Abanhfleft

THE PLATE

Northwest Kalactin vs Nova Anglicana

THE BOWL

TJUN-ia vs Ko-oren

[TJUN-ia]

Welcome to Sunday, the final day of the Alpen View Brew Festival, a day which meant TJUN-ian thought they would see their team play in. But here we are, still in Burgunden, and while the Bowl might not have been on the agenda on Friday morning, it is still silverware and TJUN-ia wants silverware. Standing in the way of a final showdown for the bowl was The Royal Kingdom of Quebec, a familiar nation to many and one you could expect to take TJUN-ia on hard.

It was an epic affair, kicked off with a spectacular try from Carl Crorker - conversion made by Jose Valbuena, of course. Quebec got 7 points of their own but from here, the Jaguars took full control. Crorker got another, Suke Hoshinawa got 2 and another went to Derek van Oosteren. Quebec got a penalty kick which TJUN-ia responded with getting one of their own. Valbuena ended the affair with 7 points of his own, completing another successful kicking term for the 20-year-old scrum-half.

Where has this been all this time?! TJUN-ia will now compete for the Bowl itself against a good (for this level) side in Ko-oren, led by a man from Quebec in Jean-Francois Kim. Strange indeed, but one match remains from some sort of glory. GO JAGS!

---

RESULTS
FRIDAY
M1: vs Darmen (5) - D 19-19 (T-3rd)
M2: vs Northwest Kalactin (13) - L 19-21 (4th)
M3: vs Hutanjia (1) - L 7-29 (5th)

SATURDAY
M4: vs Commonwealth of Baker Park (UR) - L 17-19 (5th)
M5: vs Sajnur (UR) - W 24-10 (5th)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BQF: vs Boda (UR) - W 45-7
SUNDAY
BSF: vs The Royal Kingdom of Quebec (UR) - W 33-10
BF: vs Ko-oren (UR)

[Nova Anglicana]

Confederacy Park, Burgunden, Neu Engollon

Robbie McCracken was pacing again, but this time it was the kind of anxiety produced by success. He'd played terribly against Pratapgadh and been benched for the loss to Abanhfleft, but Ferrer had let him come back for the games against The Jovannic and Natanians and Nosts. He'd scored a try against each team, and made a few decent tackles as well. It didn't really matter for seeding, but the whole team had been frustrated when the Natanians had scored just before the game ended to tie it up. Thank Heaven they had missed the conversion, or a draw would have turned into a loss. In any case, they were in the Plate competition. Not exactly where they'd wanted to end up, but considering 8 of the top 9 teams in 7s had showed up, and that there were 11 teams ranked ahead of them participating, it wasn't surprising in one sense.

They would face Terre Septentrionale in the quarterfinals. The Nordiques were ranked higher than the Lions, but just like them, had struggled their way to less than a winning record. In this game, the Lions streaked to a 14-0 lead on tries from Emile Landry and Dirk Niewmeijer before giving one back to Pierre-Louis Wisniewski just before half to make it 14-7. Robbie had gotten the perfect typewriter pass and lunged over the line two minutes into the second half to make it 19-7, but Dirk missed the conversion. Still, with a 19-7 lead, they felt good. But a sloppy pass led to a turnover, which led to a Nordiques try and conversion and suddenly it was 19-14 with time winding down and the Nordiques getting the ball back. But Robbie had made a good tackle, Brian Ward was nearby, and he opportunistically snatched the ball from the Nordiques player and headed towards the try line. The Nordiques rallied back on defense, but Brock Bolden nudged his way into a try just before time expired, making the final score 24-14 and sending the Lions to the semifinals.

In the semis, they'd take on Kriegiersien, a team similarly ranked to them and a nation obsessed with something they called "Greenbeer", which appeared to be exactly what it said on the tin. What it was about it that they loved so, he didn't know. Seemed gimmicky to him, but there they were, Kriegiersien fans swilling mug after mug of the green stuff in the stands. He didn't see the players necessarily drinking it, but they took care of Natanians and Nosts pretty easily in the quarterfinals (something the Lions couldn't do), so maybe it was a good luck charm. He'd sneaked out and secretly gotten someone to bring him one. It wasn't great, but it sure was green.

Kriegiersien and the Lions traded tries back and forth in the first half, with the Lions ending up on top 21-14. During the short halftime break, Robbie had sneaked some Greenbeer into his water bottle. The stuff was definitely growing on him, even warm. The second half had seen Brock score a try to put the Lions up 26-14, but Kriegiersien struck back to narrow the deficit to 26-19. In the end, the Lions ground down the pitch in a manner more reminiscent of a full union game rather than a 7s game, with Matt Ford finally putting the ball over the try line with only a few seconds left in the game. Dirk doinked the conversion off the posts, but it didn't matter, and the Lions had won 31-19.

Now they were into the Plate final, one win away from silverware, albeit not the kind they'd hoped they'd be taking home. Their opponents? Northwest Kalactin. About as good as Terre Septentrionale, according to the rankings, but they'd won three group stage games (despite having a -16 point differential), defeated Baker Park in the quarters, and nipped Hannasea in the semis. They wouldn't be an easy opponent. Dirk was going to have to make all of his conversions; 5/8 might have been okay through the first two games, but two points could be the difference between victory and defeat. But at least Robbie was playing and he hadn't embarrassed himself in the Plate so far. They could take 'em, right? Robbie licked his lips. He could really go for a Greenbeer.

[Abanhfleft]

DISCLAIMER: Gaelic Gamers is an independent sports blogging website created by four cousins with a common liking and passion for sports of all kinds and is in no way or form affiliated with or organized by any official news organization in the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft. All statements and opinions posted here are our own and not anyone else's.

---

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

The Rugby Rundown (Sevens Edition!)
with Graham O'Doherty

ALPEN VIEW BREW FESTIVAL RUGBY SEVENS VI TOURNAMENT: THE CUP SEMIFINALS
And here it is. The big one. The ultimate prize. Everything everyone has been looking forward to. The one thing that truly makes these visits to these far-flung and exotic places all the worthwhile. Hello guys, and welcome back to another edition of The Rugby Rundown Sevens Edition with me, your gay Irishman Graham O'Doherty. It's thirty minutes past noon here in Burgunden, and we are already just one game away from wrapping up this whole tournament. Rugby sevens does happen very quick, doesn't it? All right, even I agree that this little shtick is getting old. I promise I'm going to stop. Once the final games have been played, that is. That is all the promises that I can give to you guys at the moment. But come on. You can't deny that this hasn't been quite the wild ride, right? Such a shame, in a way, that it finally has to end. But it has to end, or else we'll be stuck here in Burgunden for the rest of our lives watching rugby sevens games over and over. Oh well. There are worse places to be stuck in.

It's the Cup semifinals we're tackling now, and boy was it a banger. Elejamie versus Abanhfleft was almost always guaranteed to produce great matches, and this one did not disappoint. There was also an element of vengeance going on subtly underneath; well, vengeance on the part of our Fleftic boys at least. The loss in the Rugby League World Cup semifinals surely must have been on their minds. And maybe that game was also in the back of the minds of the Elejamian players. Maybe they wanted to remind us of our place once again. But don't take my word for it. I'm not a mind reader. And even if I was, I probably wouldn't understand Iyilim anyway. Oh, they speak English too? Well, this just got awkward...

Well, honestly speaking, this match was absolutely crazy. Darmen versus Abanhfleft in the quarterfinals was crazy, but only in the first half. Here, the action lasted us the whole game. We started off hot with some penalties going in our favour, and then Elejamie responded with a couple of tries. And then we scored some tries of our own, and then time ran out and somehow, we had scored more than the Elephants. Yeah, I think everyone was surprised that that was the way the game ended. Not because of any controversial decision or anything, but because everyone just loved playing so much they didn't even realize fourteen minutes of game time had already passed. It was close, and Elejamie didn't begrudge us getting the win. If I was the one in their shoes, I'd probably do the same. This was one of the most enjoyable games of rugby I've watched for some time. Really, I wouldn't have minded if we played this particular match for 80 minutes like rugby union. It was just so enthralling. And that's not just the beer talking here. I truly believe that too.

So there's one more game left to play: the Cup Final against Lisander. The manner that they got here was strange though. We all know that Copper Cuprum's pre-game ritual isn't for everybody, but I think this was the first time that somebody actually took issue with it. At least it was the first time I actually saw it, or more accurately I was there to hear about it happening as it happened. You get what I mean? I mean, I'm literally talking about guys letting themselves get binned and even sent off just to make the point that they don't like the Copperite chicken ritual, and they don't care what happens to them because of it. It was almost a forfeit in favour of Copper Cuprum, but I don't think they would have appreciated it. I'm no expert on the matter, but I heard, or maybe read somewhere that the whole reason the Copperites do the ritual is because that's what gives them the morale boost they need to go into battle, and rugby for them is just a more gentlemanly form of battle. So from their point of view, getting a forfeit would've meant that the sacrifice was all for naught. And they don't want that at all. They probably took the threat of a forfeit as a bad omen because the Copperites didn't play that well at all in this game, after an entire tournament where they've been quite good. Maybe not the best, but still quite good at their job, which is playing rugby. But the almost forfeit threw them off their game and gave the Irises an advantage, one that they probably didn't think they would get but one Lisander took advantage of anyway.

Yes, the final game of the Cup is between Abanhfleft and Lisander. That's the last game that we'll be playing here in Burgunden for a good little while. It's been fun being here. And while of course I would love it if we went home from Neu Engollon with a shiny Cup in our hands, I wouldn't deny that Lisander did a great job getting to the final in the first place, and I see them as deserving champions if they win. Of course we would also be deserving champions if we win. Look, I just want one more win from the lads, okay? Leave Neu Engollon with both the Cup and a perfect record. A man can always dream. XOXO from Graham....

Elejamie (19)
Try: McCracken 6' m
Koppel 9' c
Gates 13' c
Con: (2/3)

Abanhfleft (26)
Try: Greathouse 8' c
Partridge 10' c
Con: al-Thabsi (2/2)
Pen: al-Thabsi (2', 3', 8')
Rakitic 11'

[Neu Engollon]

Sixth Annual AVBF Sevens Tournament (2020 Edition)

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CONFEDERACY PARK, BURGUNDEN
FINALS RESULTS

THE CUP

Abanhfleft 38–12 Lisander

THE PLATE

Northwest Kalactin 10–36 Nova Anglicana

THE BOWL

TJUN-ia 26–14 Ko-oren

Congratulations to Abanhfleft on lifting the Maracalo Cup! Also to the Plate and Bowl winners, Nova Anglicana, and TJUN-ia!
Commiserations to those who didn't quite make it as far as they might have hoped.

[TJUN-ia]

Lunch was over in Burgunden, Neu Engollon and the time had arrived. The Bowl was up for grabs and TJUN-ia was in it: not the best result, but at least we were fighting for silverware at all. Brutas Excillius had an opportunity at the Bowl and the honour of being the guy who claimed TJUN-ia's first trophy in a team sport and the only thing standing in his way was an unranked side. Ko-oren's mishmash of both Union and League players have managed to make it this far from the other side of the bracket, lead by Jean-Francois Kim from TJUN-ia previous opponents (The Royal Kingdom of Quebec). As both teams took the field for the final time at the Alpen View Brew Festival, they knew that this glory was small but important for the development of the sport in their homeland.

The game got up to a fast start with Derek van Oosteren scoring after just 17 seconds. Jose Valbuena took the kick and it was 7-0 Jags in a flash. Then it got better, with Valbuena sliding past Nimrod Whithingham to get a try for himself - he even kicked the conversion too and it was 14-0. Whithingham did get some revenge as he scared himself to get Ko-oren on the board - the kick converted by Domingos Ocampo. Ocampo then did a Valbuena and scored 7 points on his own to tie up the game. It was all to play for with only a few minutes to play but from here, the experience of TJUN-ia took over. Wyn Gwyneth, the captain of this program since the beginning, slid in for 5 to give TJUN-ia the lead again. Valbuena actually missed the conversion but made up for it by scoring 7 more points himself to secure the Bowl for all of TJUN-ia.

The celebrations were muted, but there was still pride all around. It may not have been the best tournament for TJUN-ia Rugby, but they walk away from Burgunden with a well earned Bowl win and that is all you can do. What's next for TJUN-ian rugby? Who knows, but we'll certainly be ready for it. Let's hope someone can get some beer before this festival ends! TJUN-ia is Bowl Champions, and we'll see you later!

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RESULTS
FRIDAY
M1: vs Darmen (5) - D 19-19 (T-3rd)
M2: vs Northwest Kalactin (13) - L 19-21 (4th)
M3: vs Hutanjia (1) - L 7-29 (5th)

SATURDAY
M4: vs Commonwealth of Baker Park (UR) - L 17-19 (5th)
M5: vs Sajnur (UR) - W 24-10 (5th)
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BQF: vs Boda (UR) - W 45-7

SUNDAY
BSF: vs The Royal Kingdom of Quebec (UR) - W 33-10
BF: vs Ko-oren (UR) - W 26-14 (BOWL CHAMPIONS)