(OOC note: because Eura's domestic calendar is a bit behind, a few events here haven't unfolded yet on the domestic end, but will do so in time)
He rinsed his face once, twice. The water could not wash away the dark circles. Lately, his whole life had been turning into a bit of a vicious circle. Perform badly, get depressed, eat less, sleep less, perform even worse, have a drink, eat less, sleep less... He hadn't had the best domestic season, and he was playing badly for the national team too. If the guy second in the pecking order wasn't some random from a middling Taeshani team, he would've lost his starting spot by then.
Ànáxímane knocked on the bathroom door. “Tôsgo, open up!”
“In a minute! I'm washing my face.” He replied absent-mindedly.
“Of course you are! But you've got visits! They say they're old teammates of yours!”
He immediately perked up. He grabbed the towel, dried his face, braced himself, then went to open the door.
“Hey, guys,” was all his muted voice could muster to say. It trembled.
“Tôsgo,
nânò*! Long time no see! We were doing some business here in Newmanistan and we thought we could come visit you.”
“Hey, Têrçêr, you mind giving us a second?”
Ànáxímane shrugged, then made his way to the dining room. He could not care less.
“You guys want something to drink? We've got some very cheap alcohol in this hotel. It's the only service they provide besides shit food, shit beds and shit bathrooms.”
“No, thanks, nânò. We've only come here to catch up with you in person. You know, ask you how you've been doing, telling you how we've been doing, giving you an update n your sister...”
He gulped. All of a sudden, he felt cold. “Well, I imagine you guys have been doing fine. The new league brings in a lot of money, doesn't it?” He poured some shit whiskey on his glass. Probably Audioslavian.
“Oh, it does, for sure. For this season, it is going to bring in about one-tenth of what your transfer to Eura could bring.” Xâráks flashed a smile. “So, how have you been? Had a hard time in Eura?”
He smiled, then downed the glass. “Spit it out, you're here to threaten me.”
“Nânò... we would never threaten you. We're here to encourage you. You know how important you are to us.” Rüý brought his close fist to his chest. “We're
nânò-sângrà**. And you're important.”
“Look, even if they don't pull the trigger on the deal, I can still be sold for a lot of money. Maybe some Nepharan team, or an Audioslavian one.” His voice cracked. Xâráks shook his head. “A Banijan one?”
“Tôsgo, we cannot wait for that. If we don't hurry up and take control, someone else will. If we don't have the money from the transfer, we can't get armed and we can't recruit. Without that, we're just a football team.”
“Well, then we're screwed, aren't we? You heard the rumors, surely. They're not gonna go for it.”
“We've arranged a little meeting with them. We'll be watching tomorrow's match. We'll take care of the negotiations. You know Rüý over here has a bit of a silver tongue. You just gotta give us something to work with.”
He shrugged. He knew it was beyond him. “I'll give it my best.”
“I'm sure you will. Your sister will be watching from
kâsâ***. I'm sure she'll want to see you do well.”
He put away the alcohol. “Okay, I get it. Can you leave, please? I'm gonna need some peace of mind.”
“Sure, nânò. Good idea, slowing down on the alcohol. I'm sure she'll appreciate it.” Tôsgo opened the door for them.
As they made their exit, Xâráks turned around, raising his finger. “Oh, I almost forgot. Happy birthday.”
“Thanks.” He waved them goodbye. It was not his birthday.
*: Rulandese for brother in the Ômên dialect; used as an affectionate term between very close male friends. Essentially like “bro” but even more intimate.
**: Rulandese for brother in blood in the Ômên dialect; essentially means someone with whom you've fought a war, or gone through similarly-strenuous circumstances.
***: Rulandese for house/home; in this context, it refers to Lâ Lüs headquarters, where all of Lâ Lüs' players and their families live.
Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ
Now back in print after a brief ten-year hiatus!Beat Them At Our Own Game Yesterday, the national team continued their run of acceptable form as they clinched the top spot in Group C with a hard-fought win against Eura. Although
la Vherderoja arrived at the game as slight underdogs, being second seeds and infamously inconsistent, as opposed to the Eurans were top seeds and famously consistent, Pam Scott's men managed to imitate the strategy that had given Farfadillis the edge four years ago in the World Cup 84 semifinal: the pigeon approach to chess. Knock the pieces, defecate on the board.
The game started off with both sides trying to grab the game by the throat. Farfadillis coming out all guns blazing is not a rare sight, but for the first time the Eurans tried to match them blow for blow from the outset, perhaps owing to the untimely injuries of Kevin Belgrave and Dean Steele. This approach paid off very quickly: a great through ball from Griffiths found Bond remarkably unmarked, owing to a lapse in concentration from Ûsêtêrnìx. The Oakstone striker fired past Ibrelaná with ease. The Eurans smelled blood after this and opted not to relent. They paid for their hubris. Just two minutes later, rue Cazade tackled Robshaw brilliantly, then lobbed the ball over the Euran defense to find an incoming Tôsgo Alxíki. The young winger killed the ball with a very deft touch, then passed the ball to Röémün Çídh, who was standing by the penalty spot. He placed the ball far from Ryan Bull's reach.
With the game level, Eura decided to pull back a bit, presumably fearing they would not be able to beat us at our own game. Pam's men did not relent, however. The following minutes saw Farfadillis dominate, finally breaking through in the fifteenth minute thanks to a brilliant individual play by Tôsgo Alxíkí, who got rid of his marker on the wing, then curled the ball to the far post with his weak foot.
La Vherderoja could not hold onto the lead for long, however, as the Eurans retaliated almost instantly as Bowman scored what could turn out to be the best goal of the World Cup with a brilliant long-range effort that grazed both the post. Once again, the Eurans couldn't even sit back and breathe, as in the very same play of the kick-off Çí Xôrí managed to send Alxíkí through, the winger's blistering pace leaving Bruns biting the dust. With a soft touch, the winger scored his second of the night, and there would be more to come.
With the scoreline reading 3-2 just twenty minutes in, both sides slowed down slightly. The Farves, surely because they aware that the Eurans would destroy them if they overplayed their hand, as has happened many times before. The Eurans, on the other hand, most likely slowed down because they realized they would not be able to match the Farves at offensive output.
For a few minutes, this seemed to work in favor of the Eurans. Playing a more standard game of football, the Eurans easily took control of the game and snuffed out most Farf attacks. However, everything went out the window in the twenty-ninth minute, as the referee called a very controversial penalty for Farfadillis after Edmün Çídh was brought down by a tackle from Roberts. The Eurans argued he'd hit the ball first, the Farves argued he hadn't. VAR did little to clear up the confusion. It did, however, give enough time for the Çídh brothers to get into a fight with Jake Newton and Charles Roberts. All four got promptly sent off by a referee who was taking no prisoners.
The call stood. Faragó rue Cazade took the penalty, as Pam Scott had prohibited the Çídh brothers and Wìjìnì from taking penalties after the incident against Kelssek. The Szoirsian takilante placed it on the top corner.
The Eurans did not let nerves get the better of them. Despite the obvious parallels with the semifinal from four years before, where a red card apiece led to the game opening up and Xíxì Êns netting himself a hat trick, the Eurans held strong, adhering to their previous plan of slowing things down and beating us at actual football. In the forty-first minute, great link-up play between Bond and Woakes led to the latter slotting the ball past a helpless Ibrelaná. Despite lengthy injury time, there was not time for more. At half time, the scoreline stood 4-3 in la Vherderoja's favor.
The second half saw both teams slow down slightly. Neither team wanted injuries, which were massively more likely to happen with both teams having had two players sent off. Despite the game having slowed down, individual brilliance from rue Cazade seven minutes into the second half led to another Farf goal. He received a great cross from Wìjìnì, chested it down, feinted a shot, leaving freshly-subbed-in Jack Menard lying on the floor, then carefully placed the ball close to the left post.
Holding a 5-3 lead, Farfadillis looked to seal the game by making an attacking substitution: Horacio Bastanchury replaced Vínseslâdís Wìjìnì in order to play up front; rue Cazade was told to play as left winger. This approach saw Farfadillis slowly take control of the game, but wound up not paying off because of an extremely inspired Moira Woakes. In the sixty-eighth minute, she set up Griffiths with a brilliant long pass, netting herself an assist. Her performance wouldn't stop there: she'd finish the game the second-best player on the pitch.
Five minutes later, Farfadillis managed to once again extend their lead in the tug of war the game was turning out to be. Debutant Bastanchury managed to break past the Euran defense—at this point already looking tired—then fire at goal with his first touch. Unfortunately, he was not meant to score on his debút: Bull managed to get a hand on the shot. Alxíkí was there to clean up on the rebound, however, and the game was now 6-4. At this point, it was officially a crazy scoreline, even by Farf standards.
With about twenty minutes to go, four fewer players on the pitch, Farfadillis dominating and his team trailing by two goals, it was no surprise when Michael Brandon decided to once again go on the attack. It was a risky decision: it could very well leave his team with a worse goal difference than Kelssek going into the final matchday. It paid off almost instantly. Henry Patterson's fresh legs gave Farfadillis immense trouble, and eventually quickly gave way to Woakes getting her second of the night. Patterson dribbled past t'Öéséné, then Fermández, then Ûsêtêrnìx—all of which were showing clear signs of fatigue—before passing the ball towards Woakes due to lacking the angle for a shot. She fired the ball straight into the top corner. The game was now 6-5, and had already become a classic.
We do not know what would have happened if Tôsgo Alxíkí hadn't scored his fouth of the night seven minutes after that. It is likely that Eura would have equalized, as the Farf defense was having a lot of trouble withstanding their onslaught, as a product of their tiredness. Fortunately, we will never know, because the truth is the Eura-based winger dribbled past two then put the ball far from Bull's reach. It was evident that it was a very emotional moment for the young winger, who the cameras caught crying profusely after scoring his fourth goal of the night.
The Eurans did not stop, eventually scoring a sixth goal as Moira Woakes completed her hat-trick with a great shot from the edge of the box. Despite la Vherderoja hanging on for five minutes after that to see out the game, it was not a meaningless goal, for two reasons: the goal allows Eura to go through with a draw against Kelssek, and it turned the game into a scorigami. For the uninitiated, this is what infamous Audioslavian journalist, entrepreneur, film-maker, narrator, novelist, broadcaster, podcaster and television presenter and former politician, sports administrator, felon and international football manager
[1] Jeremy Jaffacake has defined as a scoreline that happens for the first time in the history of the World Cup—meaning both the qualifiers and the World Cup proper. To this journalist, it seems fitting that Farfadillis would be involved in a scorigami, and even more fitting that it would happen in a game against Eura.
As things stand, Farfadillis will be more interested with what happens with Group D on matchday three. A match against The Holy Empire seems likely, which would give the team a chance for a measure of revenge for the World Cup 80 semifinal, but a Southwestern Showdown is not out of the cards, nor are matches against Reçueçn and Savojarna.