World Cup 86: Roleplay Thread

by **Squidroidia** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:54 am

"World Cup 86 qualification. Group 1. Darkmania 3, Brenecia 6. The Fortem 2, Lisander 1, Pemecutan 1, Lo Satano 3. Gyatso-Kai 0, Ethane 2. Hampton Island 6, Nethertopia 1."

As the voice narrated quietly over the results from Matchday 11 in qualification for the 86th edition of the NationStates football world championship, team captain Itoh Hoshi was glossing over the results from his group, Group 15. The Squidroidians, as the table was pulled up, were in 4th, 3 behind Quebec in 3rd and 5 behind 2nd place Main Nation Ministry. It's something that when they applied for the World Cup and Baptism of Fire while preparing for the Independent Associations Championship it sounded far off. Now here was the Xannerian star, moving for a generous chunk of money from Inkopolis FC, steering a mighty new ship to the upper half of the group. But of course, as it was the midway point of the 6th International Break, he still had to face Kulefati before going off to meet his Shorterville teammates again.

"Group 15. Ihilthracna 0, Wymondham 1. Quebec 2, Cassadaigua 5. Flavovespia 1, Electrum 1. Kulefati 1, Main Nation Ministry 4. Devonta 1, Squidroidia 2."

"Yeah, I know." Hoshi would get up and out of his hotel room, marching down the stairs to meet his national team partners. Everyone felt like this was going to be another routine 3 points - 9 matchdays ago everyone was surprised that Kulefati, who have seemed to redeem their World Cup 1 edition only pass, had drawn with them. If that wasn't the case, they would be so much closer to 2nd. But hey, that was a long time ago. Everyone boarded the bus to the stadium as per usual. Everything was fine for them.

Except for Mito. Once the team entered the locker room to prepare for practice among the sea of Squidward Roids, the Squidroidian ultras group that started as a joke, he immediately sat down with a stern face.

"HOW THE FUCK DID WE DRAW AGAINST KULEFATI?"

Everyone stayed silent, looking at the manager.

"I said HOW! DID WE DRAW! AGAINST KULEFATI!?"

Shingen would respond. "Inexperience in goal, really. I could have saved that shot but I fumbled it."

"Get out Shingey." Mito stood up and approached Takemoto with a face as stern as a rock. This hadn't been done since the inaugural game.

"W-what? No! I mean that was at their-"

"GET OUT!" And Takemoto Shingen didn't start for the Squidroidian team. Kyushichi would once again man the sticks for this match. For the manager at least, he got that fucking thing out of his system. If Squidroidia didn't win against Kulefati, he was going to be pissed.

by **HUElavia** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:55 am

Highs and Lows for HUElavia in Return to the Qualifiers!

Squornshelous 3–2 HUElavia
(Krupin 23', Anker 49', Sykko 83' | Gallego 35', Fernandez-Roux 69')
(Imperial Arena, Vogsphere)

HUElavia 3–0 Mathuvan Union
(C. Almeida 12', Beaudin 40', Savedra 87')
(Estadio Bendito, San Franco)

HUElavia returned once again to the World Cup Qualifiers looking to begin the 2nd half of the Qualifiers on the right foot. This was especially the case since they were looking to come back from the defeat against Squornshelous and the draw against Mathuvan Union in Matchdays 1 and 2 respectively. Los Amarillos/Os Amarelos started off traveling to Squornshelous, playing with the A-Team with Lobato in goal. The second match was at home in San Franco, playing with a mix of the B-Team and C-Team on the field, with Silva-Alves in goal. 10,000 fans traveled to Squornshelous while a sold out 50,000 Estadio Bendito filled with 85% HUElavians were the support for the team in these matches.

The first match was a disappointing see-saw match that had HUElavia and Squornshelous going back and forth on each other. The opening goal came in the 23rd minute, when Krupin got a pass from Berglund, and was left unmarked, as she let off a blistering and curving shot that went past the fingertips of Lobato and into the goal to make it 1-0, with the crowd jumping up and celebrating the goal. HUElavia would respond not long after, as in the 35th minute, Duran sent a pass to Gallego, who nutmegged Voronin, as he sent a chip shot past Vogdahl and into the goal to make it 1-1. The second half saw the game pick up where it left off, as in the 49th minute, a cross from Berglund would go into the box, which Anker would tower over Smirnov and the ball would go over a diving Lobato as it went into the goal to make it 2-1. HUElavia would once again respond, as in the 69th minute, a corner taken by substitute Conti (in for Gallego) would go into the box and Fernandez-Roux would head the ball past Vogdahl and into the goal to make it 2-2. Despite this potential draw, in the 83rd minute, a corner taken by Tjaeder would go into the box and fall down to the foot of Sykko, who would blast it in point-blank range past Lobato and into the goal to make it 3-2. The crowd went crazy with the goal, and despite some efforts to score another goal, it was too little, too late as HUElavia lost the match and was swept by Squornshelous.

The second game was a much needed breath of fresh air for the team, as rotations had some of the backups start the match. The opening goal would come in the 12th minute, as Conti sent the ball in a cross, only for newly-returned (from her pregnancy) C. Almeida came into the box to tower over Aybers and head the ball past Le Auftens into the goal to make it 1-0. She celebrated with her teammates and her husband R. Almeida, sharing a hug and kiss with him, all while the crowd jumped with passion and joy, chanting her name for her first goal in her debut for the qualifiers. The second goal would come in the 40th minute, as a pass from Moutinho would go into the box, only for newcomer Beaudin to tap the ball past a scrambling Le Auftens into the goal to make it 2-0. She celebrated with her teammates, having a big smile from scoring her first ever goal with the senior team, while the crowd celebrated with passion and applauded her for her goal. HUElavia would handle the match with ease, but getting one more opportunity, as in the 87th minute, Savedra would take a long-distance shot and Le Auftens would try to punch the ball away, but it would deflect off his fist and go into the goal to make it 3-0. Savedra would celebrate with his teammates and hug his family in the stands, while the crowd chanted his name and applauded him for his goal. Shortly after, the match ended and HUElavia took a needed 3 Points.

With the matches played in Group 10, Reçueçn leads with 29 Points (9-2-0), while HUElavia follows with 21 Points (6-3-2). Praeceptia is in 3rd Place with 19 Points (6-1-4), while Squornshelous is in 4th Place with 18 Points (6-0-5). The next two matches will be away at Tioguldos and Maccian, with the B-Team, C-Team, and D-Team having rotations among players to start the games. Vallares and Patricio-Leite will start in goal respectively.

FORCA HUELAVIA! VAMOS HUELAVIA! GO HUELAVIA!

by **Kelssek** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 7:35 am

Comment: Bad old days are here again
PAUL CLIFTON

If Kelssek fail to qualify for World Cup 86, which they are now in real danger of doing, it will be sloppy losses against teams like Woryand that they will look back upon with regret.

And what the losses against Woryand and the earlier loss to Sultante of Oontaz highlight is that the defensive problems are not just down to individual players. Debates about whether Ruslan Demetriev is starting to decline are pertinent. You can add to that the tradeoff of playing Thamior Liadon as an adventuring full-back who tends to be better on the front foot than on the back, whether Matt Lister and Brayden Custworth are giving enough of an effort in pressing the opposing backline, and simply the ability level of the centre-backs available to the Kelssek national team.

But with the rotation of players in the qualifiers, it’s clearly not just down to individual errors. Tactics and mentality are in play here, and while it seemed last year that these issues had been addressed, they’ve clearly come up again. And the constant here is the coaching staff.

Too often we see team go out complacent. Often they get away with it. But sometimes they let a lead slip, or fall behind, and then end up chasing the game. All the while telling themselves there’s no way they can not be winning against this team, surely just trying harder will peel the opponents apart.

And when they lose concentration, positioning and communication problems tend to slip in. They converge on one striker and leave another unmarked, they misjudge back-passes, they dive into tackles and give away an unnecessary foul – or a penalty. This was a pattern in the 84th cycle and it’s creeping back in again.

This isn’t just a problem for the backline. These days “route one” football is far more nuanced that just spraying it upfield and hoping for the best, and if my kid is working on playing out from the back in under-12s, you can bet players on national teams are too. If the attackers neglect their duties when Kelssek loses the ball, it can get into the danger area very quickly.

The coaches and the senior players need to get a grip on this situation. When the team gets pegged back, they need to calm the panic and make sure the team keep focused and keep to the plan. It’s not about going full pelt because of course we should be steamrolling this 200-ranked team and the scoreboard currently says otherwise. Every team will get setbacks like that, the winning teams are those who manage the situation properly.

When international football returns, Kelssek faces a crunch game in Saint-Rémy against Equestria that becomes a must-win, especially with the form that third-placed Geektopia are in. They can't afford to leave this to chance. The saving grace could be that this team seems to cope better when they're up against a strong opponent.

KELSSEK 3 – Lister (38’), Blueman (67’), Maçon-Petrault (74’)
Gallagher, Bowler, Lozic, Curtin, Douglass, Demetriev, Greenwood (Blueman 58’), McDonald (Champetier 58’), Yusupov, Custworth (Maçon-Petrault 49’), Lister
WORYAND 4 – wfffho (45+1’), isthat (50’), whatthe (53’, pen. 70’)
Exhibition Place, Kirkenes (26,424)

OBEROUR AR MORO 0
KELSSEK 2 – Custworth (43’, 82’)
Poirier, Liadon, Halliger, Fourtin, Farahani, Demetriev (Bogdanor 77’), Lapierre, Ó Tuathail, Douglass (Dionne 63’), Custworth (Torshen 87’), Taleb

by **Taeshan** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 9:45 am

"You've managed to continue to avoid the question though. Don't think I haven't noticed."

"I'd hope you'd figure out that I'm not sure how it's affected me. Clearly it's made things a whole mess in my head."

"Clearly."

"I think a death, at such a young age is so hard."

"Well yes, obviously. I think death at any age is rather hard, but go on."

"I think in the line of work I found myself in I am privileged. It's not as hard to be a football player. Lot of training, and eating right, but you make a fair bit of money, meet the cutest girls in the world, and have a classy reputation. I think it's so far from your mind as a player."

"Death"?

"Yeah. I mean you're the healthiest group of people in the world in a sport like Football. You run 90 minutes a game, do a lot of hard work. I think athletes in general are usual fit, even the biggest say American Football players or, Sumo wrestlers are physically incredible. Like countless American Football players weigh say 350 lbs, but that is muscle to be a strong lineman, and then they retire and suddenly they're your average 220 pounds 6 foot dude."

"Well yeah, but what do you mean about death..."

"What I mean is you think you're invincible as someone that fit, as someone with that much expendable income. I feel good all the time, I don't feel like I'm going to die anytime soon."

"But you could."

"Well that is the point, in the moment you don't. You're going the clubs meeting people, making friends, moving across the world when someone offers you money. Doesn't matter where as long as the check cashes I'll play there."

"Was moving hard on you"?

"I mean I've talked about it already. I made my mistakes. They're in the past. I regret them. But I think I can't do much about them anymore. Just try not to make them in the future."

"So you think that in any given moment it's weird for someone to think about death, especially in your position"?

"Yeah. How often do you think about death sitting here on your chair. Judging me. Do you often think about oh, I'm 30, what happens to me when I die"?

"I mean I deal with death a lot, a lot of young kids come in here to therapy to talk about their parents, their siblings. We all have our cancerous moments in life, and so much of the human condition is dealing with the death of those around us."

"Do you feel you've dealt with death well? Had to deal with it much personally"?

"I mean I'm not the one looking for help here."

"That's a clear avoidance maneuver."

"Yeah, but it was your original avoidance that led us here."

"..."

by **Sarzonia** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 10:39 am

A slow start was one thing. For whatever reason, the Sarzonian national football team always seem to stumble out of the gate for a World Cup qualifying campaign and then eventually turn up the gas and start playing the way they've demonstrated they're capable of.

In World Cup 84 qualifying, the slow first half could be excused for a team representing a country that hadn't competed in a World Cup in 27 cycles. No matter what time period that number represents -- whether it's generations or more years -- 27 World Cup qualifying campaigns represents a long time to be away from the world's brightest stage.

World Cup 85 wasn't necessarily supposed to be much different. Sure, Sarzonia's exploits in the second half of World Cup 84 qualifying got them a strong fourth place finish and a shock away result over the second placed finisher and second highest ranked team in the group. It soon led to an appearance in the Cup of Harmony and a shock run to a bronze medal.

However, after yet another slow start, Sarzonia caught fire, leading to a 1-0 victory over Nephara in at Dave Wilson Stadium and an eventual World Cup finals appearance. That included a shock 3-2 victory over eventual World Cup runners up Banija, but a crushing defeat to eventual champions Free Republics eliminated the Stars.

The road back to the proper wasn't expected to be as arduous for World Cup 86, but with Sarzonia being the second highest ranked team, the were expected to at least challenge for a guaranteed spot among second placed sides.

After losing their away match 3-0 to a Yuezhou side that enter this cycle unranked to open the second half of qualifying, it was clear that a cruise to the World Cup finals would not be in the cards. As furious as the result made manager Kevin Connelly, he had to recognise that it could be used to motivate his charges to play inspired football the rest of the way.

A 2-1 home defeat to Eraman, the third highest ranked team in Group 14 was certainly more excusable than dropping five of a possible six points to Yuezhou, but try telling that to the Stars supporters at Dave Wilson Stadium. The crowd serenaded the team with boos as they left the pitch following the defeat.

Reserve goalkeeper Paolo Gomes was suspended for three matches by the Incorporated Football Federation after the match for making an obscene gesture to the crowd. Gomes declined comment through a translator.

"That was unacceptable," Connelly said. "Paolo knows that. I spoke with him briefly, but I will talk with him about it tomorrow when cooler heads can prevail."

As a nod to his performance in the World Cup of Masters, goalkeeper Will Brantley will make his return to a Sarzonia kit as the backup to Carlton Sandt. Brantley finished the over-35 football competition with nine consecutive clean sheets and a streak of 822 minutes without conceding a goal.

"It's going to be fun to put on the new kits," Brantley said. "Even if it is only temporary."

by **Trolleborg** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 12:06 pm

Greetings, compatriots! It’s TTV with a news about our beloved national football team.

RIENA – TROLLEBORG 2:2

It was probably the most exotic match in the short history of our team. An international-level match taking place on the sand - this is, perhaps for the first time we will see such a thing at all, and definitely we take part in such thing first time. I think that it was not just us on television that the thought flashed whether in the future the guests of our country might be forced to play on a slope covered with stones or on the snow over ice boulders. Perhaps, in addition to the blatant rank coasting so common in qualifying competitions for the World Cup, this was the most insidious move known to us. But, at least, we must pay tribute, after all, unlike going forward just on the old merits, for this you still need to have some talent and intelligence.

The head coach answered the unspoken question, how it happened: “Unfortunately, at the moment when we found out where the game would take place, there was no way to change our plans. I had to rely on the skill and professionalism of the lads. It's good that they were on top”.

But first, our players had a hard time, of course. The ball did not hold at all, and you can’t seriously talk about the combinations here, and not everything went well with the work in defense. On the contrary, everything in defence going wrong. Two long-range strikes - and two goals, almost in a row.

Of course, many were expecting a total defeat, a lot of spectators in the social nets proposed to change the goalkeeper, but, fortunately, our guys showed character and composure. Two goals down even before the break - many would have broken on this, but, fortunately, not our lads in this game. They forced the hosts to fight on the distant approaches, they did not allow them to hit the goal, they fought for every ball, throw themselves in the tackles. But also outside the field there was a struggle for the result: from the very first minutes, the search began for a solution to how to play on the sand more efficiently, involving active work with our AI’s, and then the implementation of the solution. During the break, as the team captain told us, the necessary actions were taken and in the second half our lads acted much more confidently. Of course, we will not share the secret with other teams, it would be unsportsmanlike, let everyone be on equal terms.

We were all surprised when Morten Troghil send Gulbranden on the pitch during the break. The huge striker seemed completely unsuitable for such conditions, but nevertheless our coach turned out to be a visionary. Tom actively put pressure on his opponents, imposed a fight on them, which they were losing, and in the end it fell to him to score the first our goal, jumping onto the ball after a pass.

In the middle of the second half Kerr evened the score, elegantly as can on such a surface moved ball into the net after long ball from the right flank

At the end of the match our guys tried to score the third goal, but almost conceded themselves. So 2:2, and we are all at a loss as to whether we got a point or lost two. But perhaps this match is worth remembering as a game in which we showed ourselves to be real sportsmans, able to withstand so much.

TROLLEBORG – SAVIGLIANE 5:2

The guests from Savigliane in the first game proved to be a fighting, close-knit team, and in the second about the same. Although at first it seemed that our team would not experience big problems.

The score was opened in the 12th minute: Kolding passed to the center, and there Kerr, from whom, of course, defenders expected a shot on goal, played cleverly and pass ball back. Kolding got it already penetrating in the penalty area and just shot into the far corner.

But the guests rather quickly responded with a blow to a blow, after a long pass, their forward jumped one-on-one with our goalkeeper and shot accurately. It seemed to many both in the stands and on the pitch that he was offside. The replay showed that this is not the case, everything was within the rules, but we should still note that the referee and VAR should determine such a things, and the players should stand like a pillars, limiting themselves to the pulling their hands up, signaling the referee. This is absolutely not required, and players must play out all the episodes till the end, resorting to appeals against a judge afterwards.

Both teams then had chances to find the net. But next goal had to wait almost half an hour, the attack seemed to be choked on the outskirts of the guests' penalty area, but then Troll showed himself: he received the ball from the forwards and sent it to the right place beautifully and accurately, Kerr was already waiting for him and in two touches he put it in mesh.

And then it went as if river dam cracked: the same two players worked together again a couple of minutes later, Troll gave a pass forward, Kerr once again got rid of the defenders and just shot past the goalkeeper

And a few minutes later, our striker scored his third goal in this match, after a long ball from the depth of field

With such a score and such a series of blows, the guests still did not quit playing, to their credit.
Soon after the score rose to 4:1, their midfielder managed to slip past our defender du Riis, who, being novice in out team, apparently, was not used to playing at speeds that are accepted at the international level. Saviglianiar then passed ball into the penalty area, from where the guests striker struck a smashing shot on goal.

But at the end, the game finishes with a difference of three goals. Apparently, Troll himself promised to show someone the dribbling class, otherwise it’s not clear why our playmaker, who usually holds the ball just as long as it takes to make the only correct decision, having received the ball on the flank, instead of the pass which everyone wait from him, started to dribble, summing it all up with a good shot to the corner.

And we still keep the second place, but, apparently, not for long. Uneven playing fields and blatant rank coasting seems to be an integral part of world football, so all fans should prepare for disappointments in the second half of the qualifiying.

by **Blampano** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 12:11 pm

The manager of Blampano, Ronald Goshta, arrived on the airport on a monday morning. He planned to travel to the host nation a couple of days before the players. But on the airport, his uncle, Juan Ghosta, called him.
-Come to visit me, Ronald. You are welcome anytime, said Juan.

And then Ronald Ghosta drove back to Ladotown. 3 days later, Ghosta planned to go to the airport. But his uncle's neighbor kidnapped Ronald.
The team played without a manager. And they finished 9th in the group.
Ronald Ghosta is still kidnapped. The kidnappers, Marco and Jennifer Kagowa, will probably soon let him go. But they want 1.000.000 money from Juan. But don't worry, Juan is very rich.

by **Drawkland** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 12:44 pm

Richard Swiss: Sulsu Wrangler
Season 1, Episode 4
"The Wrangler"

[The camera fades in, showing a peaceful tropical sea with a jungle-filled island in the background. The camera bobs up and down slightly, as if on a boat. The shot stays there for a few seconds, before a man in a safari outfit and a wide-brimmed hat enters the shot and sits down on the left.]

"Hello, my name is Richard Swiss. You may not know me right now, but I'm just a simple traveller. I've conquered seas, forests, deserts, mountains, and tundras all over our beautiful planet Sonnel. There's one place I haven't yet mastered, though ... the stunning and chaotic Sulsuland. I'm Richard Swiss, and I'm going to become the first Sulsu Wrangler."

[The camera slowly pans to the right until Swiss is out of the frame and more of the island is seen. The logo appears on screen as the theme music fades in: an aggressive blues riff on an acoustic guitar backed with hand drums and other tribal timbres. The background becomes a sequence of clips and images of the island and some Sulsus.]

[The camera fades in to reveal Richard Swiss crouched in the thick jungle of the island, wearing some protective gear. He begins to speak in a low murmur.]

"Welcome back, my friends. Due to constraints from the network, this is going to be the last episode of our debut season. I wanted to do more research for you all, but it appears we'll have to hope a new season gets greenlit for us. Anyhow, the title of this series is Richard Swiss, Sulsu Wrangler. I am Richard Swiss, and yet I have not actually wrangled a Sulsu. This was my plan all along, since before this series got started, and so that's my goal in this final episode.

"Many wildlife show hosts have completed incredible feats of being able to wrestle with and capture fauna of all kinds despite the danger. However, capturing or wrangling a Sulsu may be the hardest one of all. I'm not sure this has ever been attempted on record, so there's no telling what strategy to take. Knowing the nearly omnipotent power of a Sulsu, it seems foolish to think that stealth or the element of surprise will matter. On the other hand, a head-on approach seems even less fruitful. For now, I've been practicing my quick grabs."

[Swiss then looks away from the camera and then seems to pounce on a person-sized sack of potatoes, wrapping his arms firmly around it. The camera fades away from the shot and shows Swiss and some crew members back at their campsite.]

"After the disaster that we witnessed last episode, many concerned fans and network executives wrote to us about the fate of our boom mic operator Jim Jones. Jim is no longer with us, not really. He developed an acute case of Sulsuitis, as we saw on camera. Now, this Sulsu who used to be Jim is still among us, and continuing to operate the mic. Here, pan the camera over to him."

[The camera pans to the left, where a slightly taller-than-usual Sulsu is seen, holding a boom above his head. He takes both his hands off the boom to give a thumbs-up and wave to the camera, but the boom remains in the same position, floating in the air, before he replaces his hands on it.]

"heLLo fRiEnDS!"

"We've learned something really interesting about sulsuitis, in that it seems the victims still retain some sort of memory or at least a sense of individuality after converting into a Sulsu. I wanted to go to the legendary 'sulsu city' to learn more, but we were cut short on time. In our case here, Sulsu-Jim seems to remember how to correct do his job as a mic operator for our show, and shows a willingness to do so."

[The shot pans back to Swiss as he continues.]

"Of course, we knew the potential risks before filming this show. Most of the crew joining me has few to none family or loved ones left in their lives. Jim Jones' parents died in a tragic car accident over a decade ago, and he had no siblings or significant others.

"Once this incident occurred, we looked through our contracts and realized that none of us specified what would happen to our property in the event we become Sulsufied. We assumed it would be a death sentence, but in this case, it appears Sulsu-Jim still recognizes things he owns and his responsibilities. Though now, obviously, his priorities in life are a little different. Because of this, we decided to keep Sulsu-Jim on as our boom mic guy, and simply convert his salary from Lolads to the equivalent amount in fish. Sulsu-Jim was a big fan of this arrangement."

"SulSu dO LikE a GoOd fiSH!"

"We have to get on with the rest of this episode, but we felt that it was important we address that. Of course, if a second season happens, we'll be sure to delve deeper into this dynamic."

[The camera fades out from the shot and fades back to Swiss, once again in his protective "wrangling" outfit. He's crouched in a bush on the edge of the jungle, next to the beach. He speaks again in a low voice.]

"I think the time is now for me to become the world's first Sulsu Wrangler .... or perhaps, its biggest fool for attempting such a suicide mission. I've been waiting along this side for about a half hour now, waiting for a Sulsu to come by and sit on the beach, as they sometimes do. I've decided to go with the stealth approach. While it may not be effective, I think it may at least give me a chance, rather than a head-on attack.

"If this is the last time I'm able to talk, thank you for watching my show. I hope that, if I pass or become Sulsufied, that somebody could continue my work. These creatures are amazing, and I'd love to see the world know more about their true nature."

[The shot starts showing a sped-up montage of Swiss pacing along the edge of the jungle. The camera crew moves down the beach closer to the shore, while managing to keep the camera on Swiss most of the time. Suddenly, the shot slows down, and the camera zooms in on Swiss in a bush, from the other side of the beach. Swiss gives a small hand signal, and the camera moves to show a Sulsu calmly sitting on the edge of the beach, enjoying a small pile of fish.

Swiss slowly creeps out of his bush, trying to make as little sound as possible. The Sulsu in the foreground seems oblivious, continuing to munch on fish. After a few silent moments of Swiss stepping into the sand, he leaps forward and grapples his arms around the Sulsu! The mutterings of the camera crew can be heard in the background. But, once a few tense seconds pass, the Sulsu seems to react minimally. It turns its head to look over at Swiss.]

"oH, hEy tHerE FriEND. sULsU nOt seE yOu ThEre. yOu wAnT hUg oR SOmEThiNG? oKAy, SuLsu giVE yOu HuG."

[Miraculously, the Sulsu turns a bit and wraps his arms around Swiss in a sort of hug. The camera zooms in, and Swiss's expression of abject terror melts into a smile. The shot fades out, and comes back in, now right next to Swiss and the Sulsu.]

"I must admit, it was not the outcome I was expecting. But I will treasure that moment for the rest of my life. That's about all we have time for today. Thank you, so much, for watching my show. I hope that we'll be able to come back soon and show you more of these wonderful islands and wonderful creatures. I'm Richard Swiss, Sulsu Wrangler. Goodnight everyone!"

"sULsu SeE yOu LaTer!"

[The shot fades to black and an extended version of the theme music plays as the credits roll.]

by **Murphtannia** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 1:32 pm

(if you are wondering why this is just the match, I did do an in depth rp but it was deleted when I submitted it, and I no longer have the energy to do it all again)
Matchday 10

[Kick off]

[15th minute] Ikshu Amitabh is 1 on 1 with the keeper, and goallll, he puts it into the bottom right, he gives Busoga the lead and the fans are going crazy, you can hear Murphy going "For F***k sake".

The game kicks off again Busoga 1 Murphtannia 0

[30th minute] Murphy is 1 on 1 with the keeper but a brilliant reaction save from Hibbaan al-Shareef, he dives into the top right and gets his finger tips on it to hit it onto the post and out.

Even the Murphtannia fans are clapping that one

[HF] An end to end game so far, each set of fans are hurling insults at each other but no violence and nothing too extreme.

[50th minute] Another Brilliant save from Hibbaan al-Shareef to deny Boland at short range, he is having one hell of a match.

[91st minute] There have been chances galore, with Ball and Hibbaan al-Shareef having blinders. However after a collission in the box Murphtannia have a last minute penatly.

Murphy steps up to take the pen.

Hibbaan al-Shareef is staring him down.

Murphy runs up.

HE SCORES, Hibbaan al-Shareef GUESSES THE RIGHT WAY BUT NO KEEPER IS SAVING THAT, THE BALL IS BLASTED INTO THE TOP RIGHT, THE CROWD GOES WILD, THE TEAM JUMPS INTO THE CROWD TO CELEBRATE.

The game kicks off 1-1.

[Full Time] well another entertaining game, and Hibbaan al-Shareef has had such a good game that loads of clubs in Murphtannia are lining up to sign him now he has been released. We can only see how it plays out.

Match day 11

[15 minutes] Tengretz Aidor is 1 on 1 with the keeper, goal, 1-0

[30 minutes] Tengretz Aidor with a brilliant header into the bottom right to make it 2-0.

[HF] Murphtannia have been dominated and they are lucky it isn't 6-0 right now, they'll hope for a better showing second half

[50th minute] Murphy is 1 on 1, he is through on goal, GOALLLL, SLOTS IT INTO THE BOTTOM RIGHT, 2-1, Murphtannia have a lifeline.

[60th minute] 2-2!!!, Jenkins with a brillaint shot from just outside the box leaves the ball nestling in the top right corner.

[70th minute] 3-2!!!, Tengretz Aidor completes his hat trick with a volley from a corner, even the murphtannian fans are clapping that one

[80th minute] 3-3, Boland nods it into the bottom right, his 3rd goal of the WC to level the game.

[91st minute] Eli Apollon makes it 4-3!!!!, he scores the free kick from just outside the box, nothing the keeper could do.

[FT] Another game without a win for Murphtannia to basically kill any chance of qualifying, looks like that fairy tale will remain just that, a fairy tale.

by **Mattijana** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 2:25 pm

Home Form, Inconsistency and Rivals Threaten to Scupper Mattijanan Qualifying Hopes: What to Expect in the Second Half

MFO SPORT

A 4-0 home defeat to group leaders Starblaydia took the gloss off what has otherwise been a pretty good qualification campaign for Mattijana. The marmots lost their important second-place position in group 16, but still have 9 matches to hit back against their rivals.

Their tally of 17 points is the best ever at the halfway stage by a Mattijanan side, but disappointing draws against Rangers and Cheetahs and Reptiles Coalison means that they have slipped to fourth in the group - and the three, possibly four-way fight for what will probably be a spot in the playoffs. Darmen currently occupy the spot, but only by a point from the Jovannic, who drew with Krytenia on matchday 10.

Group 16: The battle for second

2 Darmen                                11    7   0   4    27   21   +6    21
 3 The Jovannic                          11    6   2   3    22   18   +4    20
 4 Mattijana                             11    5   3   3    12   10   +2    18
 5 Krytenia                              11    4   3   4    21   24   −3    15

Despite a glut of big matches, mainly at home for the marmots, they're biggest threat is still themselves. Mattijana have been a team capable of producing headline results - think the 1-0 win against Darmen or the 5-2 victory against Krytenia. They have also been one that have leaked points endlessly against lower-ranked opposition and despite the early wins, a loss to Saltstead and the recent draws are evidence that they haven't yet shaken the habit.

It's in defence where Mattijana have made the most progress. Katija Burnisovic is still going strong and arguably at her peak, with Rikard Illicic now experienced enough to be a worthy sidekick. The two have conceded just 10 goals so far in the cycle, the best in the group despite the presence of a dominant Starblaydi side and an ultra, if not uber-defensive Saltstead squad. Ana Sevastova has also provided useful cover as she gains stock up at FK Snezn. It's a strength in depth that Mattijana haven't necessarily had in recent cycles.

They now face some really big matches. First up are the Jovannic, who were the first to inflict defeat on Mattijana this cycle. Then come Krytenia before a trip to Saltstead.

Mattijana's 6-pointers:
Matchday 12: The Jovannic vs Mattijana (WesterStadion, WestStrand)
Matchday 13: Krytenia vs Mattijana (unknown location)
Matchday 17: Mattijana vs Darmen (Stadijo Dinamov, Petrovijanka)

Mattijana fared well in the first round of fixtures, taking 6 points from 9, and they will need to match or even improve on that if they are to make the cut for a playoff match. The Jovannic are the imminent challenge, having themselves strung together an impressive and unprecedented run of form. They haven't excelled at either end of the pitch, but have won matches and in a results business, that's the most important statistic. Star striker Jovan Illohil has scored crucial goals at crucial moments, including against Mattijana in the reverse fixture, whilst manager Gonzal Mathee has caught the eye for his passionate touchline celebrations.

Zala Stefanidi is expected to revert to her full-strength lineup after making changes for the Rangers and Cheetahs games, with Kara Lorenzic a very welcome return from injury. The Matbirjke striker has been integral in the Marmot's success so far and was sorely missed as Mattijana missed crucial chances against their lower-ranked opponents. Sophia Velezia is also fit after picking up a knock against Rangers.

They need a full strength team and luckily they have one because although we're not at the crunch point of the cycle, I still think Mattijana can't afford to lose this one. Getting over the hoodoo of their poor home form is another challenge they will have to face, but given this is only partly the bunch of professional bottlers that we've seen in recent years, they might just be able to do it.

by **Zwangzug** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 3:53 pm

"In World Cup 41 proper," Cheryl summarized, "Zwangzug had a perfect group stage, defeating each of their opponents. The other three teams would each garner one win apiece against each other, which meant that advancement would come down to their head-to-head records. The Dancougar Black Wings had negative two goals of difference, which meant that the other two were both at +1, but in one of those popular takilan conspiracies, goals for was used as the tiebreaker."

Dovydas, who supported takilan approaches far more conspiratorial than the widely-popular use of goals for as a tiebreaker, let her continue.

"In the eighty-fourth minute of play, Soscren Pranasik scored Vephrall's fourth goal against the Black Wings to run up the score and take over second place. Vephrall would go on to defeat the host nation Ad’ihan on penalty kicks in the second round, before losing to the mighty Marauders of Valanora in the quarterfinals."

"Does this have something to do with Lovisa?" Dovydas ventured brightly.

"Oh, no," said Cheryl briskly, "nah, I think the Poafmersia press is on it, I'm not worried about that right now. All I'm saying is that it was a very tense matchday three. The kind where you're watching the out of town scoreboard, as Vephrall were. Their reporter even expressed admiration for the success of the 3-5-3, although that would in some sense be the last triumph of that, uh, era before defeat in the second round--"

"Why," asked Dovydas, "are we having this conversation."

"Because. It wasn't just Zwangzug who eliminated the original Squornshelous, the Imperium, from their first era of omnipresence--it was Zwangzug and Dancougar and Vephrall. So I don't think we exactly deserve a plaque for the performance."

"If we deserve a plaque for that game," a brash voice interrupted, "your mom deserves a plaque for her carnal familiarity with Sir Nicholas von Chompington."

Dovydas gave an indignant start on Cheryl's behalf, but the archivist just gave a sigh as if such longsuffering was nothing new. "Ms. Stefred. What an...unexpected surprise."

"Petrell told me I had to scout," said Sydney. "And Joshua says I'm not allowed to swear. So."

"The IFCF records? I e-mailed those yesterday."

"And she didn't tell me?"

"Well, there might have been some time dilation--"

"Oh, bleep you," Sydney said, storming out just as suddenly as she had arrived.

"Anyway," said Cheryl, "the Remnant States prefer that title, but if they were to go by their nickname they would overtake South Covello, not just in group 17, but for the leaders among geographically-subordinate nations. I mean, West Angola and Northwest Kalactin haven't had much to say for themselves so far, but look at what Southern Palm Islands and South Newlandia are up to in group eleven! I mean, it'll be quite some time since we've seen a Sorthern Northland, but..."

(Idmar 30, 62)
(Banach 17)

by **Yue Zhou** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 4:38 pm

Yincheng, Yuezhou - undisclosed PFoY government building

It had been a rough two weeks for the People’s Federation of Yuezhou. The southern province of Nanhai, tired of their perceived mistreatment by the central government and lack of autonomy, had given Premier Ren Qiang an ultimatum - acquiesce to their demands for special economic zone status, exemption from national security laws, and quotas for Nanhai natives in the federal government. Ren Qiang had called their bluff - and just two days later, Yuezhou found itself in a Civil War.

The war itself hadn’t been particularly hard on Yuezhou. The Yuezhou National People’s Army had quickly advanced on Nanhai’s mainland possessions, capturing a number of important bases in the northern half of the province. However, Nanhai’s military had fled south to the capital city of Nangang, and despite the military’s efforts, they were unable to break through Nanhai’s impressive navy. The war had quickly become a long, grueling stalemate, and considering the amount of foreign funding Ren Qiang suspected Nanhai was receiving, such a stalemate could prove incredibly costly to Yuezhou’s economy.

The disruption Nanhai Governor-turned-President Zheng Zhoulun had caused was not just limited to the south, either. Sensing opportunity, separatist groups in the neighboring province of Jiangdong were also starting to formulate demands to the central government. And the central mountain province of Sangau, which had always been culturally and ethnically distinct from the rest of the country, was also starting to get antsy.

So, after just two weeks, Ren Qiang and his cabinet were trying to figure out how to negotiate Nanhai back into the union.

“Look, we’re going to have to give in to their original ultimatum terms,” suggested Vice-Premier of Foreign Affairs Sun Zhoulian. “Our economy can survive giving them additional autonomy, and we’ve already been losing our hold over Nanhai anyways. They were always going to get special status - we’ve all viewed it as inevitable for the past ten years.”

“We can survive giving in, but that doesn’t mean we need to,” replied Vice-Premier of Transportation Liang Dong. “Besides, what message are we sending to dissidents in Jiangdong and Sangau if we concede so early? I say we figure out who’s sending Nanhai money, offer them a sweeter deal, and starve ‘em out.”

“Besides, you didn’t even mention their other demand. Zheng Zhoulun wants Nanhai’s provincial government to choose one-quarter of governmental representatives? He’ll poison us from the inside. It’s bad enough that we have to give Sangau a soft quota of ten percent, and even then, we get to pick where those representatives go,” added on Ren Qiang’s right-hand man, Zhuang Haigong.

“Why don’t we just give Nanhai Sangau’s deal? It’s mostly ceremonial anyways,” Ren offered.

“Twenty percent to the provinces is still quite the concession,” Zhuang replied. “Although...we could just strip Sangau of their quota, and give it to Nanhai. It’s not like those mountain racial slurs are doing much for us economically, anyways.”

“Are we sure we should be giving SNM more ammunition right now? We saw how close they were to separating a few years ago,” cautioned Liang. “Maybe-”

“Eh, it’s not like they can beat us if Nanhai’s on our side, anyway. The only way they would find out is if Nanhai have somehow compromised this cabinet meeting and are planning to leak the information to the SNM to gain an advantage in our war, but what are the odds of-

BREAKING: SNM DECLARES INDEPENDENCE AFTER SLIGHT IN NANHAI NEGOTIATIONS
Lu Xiaolan, the Yincheng Courier

Yuezhou 3 - 0 Sarzonia
Starting Lineup (4-3-2-1): Wang B.; Lin, Ren, Han (Chen 55), Qiu; Yang, Gu (C) (Li 63), Guo; Wen, Liu; Huang (Wang J.H. 65)
Goals: Guo 27, Liu 31, Wang J.H. 72
MoTM: Guo Xiawei (CM → CB)

Yuezhou may be a nation at war, but you’d just watched the Red Dragons’ Cinderella story continue with a stunning home win over second seeds Sarzonia, you’d never know. In front of a roaring crowd at Yincheng National Workers’ Stadium, Yuan Zilai’s squad took the lead early and never looked back, repeatedly overwhelming Sarzonia with their aggressive press and lightning-fast counterattacks. While the visiting Stars were unlucky not to score, Yuezhou again looked the better team against much higher-ranked opposition.

Manager Kevin Connelly, in an attempt to free up star creative midfielder Brady Reynolds, decided to play Travis d’Agostino over Ernie Mabree in an attempt to shore up the center of the pitch more, in what would become more of a 4-1-3-2 shape. Meanwhile, Yuan Zilai had some tricks up his sleeve as well, as ball-playing center-back Guo Xiawei was moved to the midfield to create a 4-3-2-1 shape, with Liu Huiying and Wen Xiaohui supporting Huang Shedong with a solid midfield three behind them.

Sarzonia had more initiative early on, playing through dos Santos and Wilson and giving Reynolds license to drift wide and create overlaps. The dangerous dos Santos created some great chances early on, pinging a beautiful cross just past the outstretched boot of Wilson before sending a shot of his own off the bar. However, the Red Dragons were able to sit back and absorb the pressure - Campos was marked out of the match, while Reynolds and Aguirre, identified as the Stars’ main creative threats, were swarmed whenever they had the ball.

After Liu Huiying won a free kick by breaking behind enemy lines and forcing Matt Taylor to bring her down a few yards outside the box, it would be the Red Dragons to strike first. Wen Xiaohui sent a ball into the danger zone, and after Huang’s header was blocked, the ball found its way to Guo Xiawei at the far post. The defender-turned-midfielder didn’t get the cleanest of shots off, but the ball trickled its way past Carlton Sandt anyways. Just four minutes later, Yuezhou was off on the break again, with disastrous results for Sarzonia: Guo intercepted a pass from Reynolds to Wilson before playing it wide to Wen Xiaohui. Charlie King was turned inside-out by the young midfielder, who with license to roam, played an inch-perfect through-ball past both center-backs that Liu Huiying coolly slotted home.

A visibly frustrated Sarzonia team came out for the second half with renewed aggression, as Connolly switched tactics by reintroducing Mabree for d’Agostino and bringing the attack-minded Swann on for his captain, Wilson, in order to push forwards even harder. However, cognizant of the 2-0 lead they squandered in the reverse fixture, Yuezhou stayed disciplined on defense and continued to press with great energy. Sarzonia’s best chances came early in the second half, with Swann and Mabree in particular creating great opportunities that both fell to Aguirre, who sent both into the outstretched arms of Ruo Xiaolan. But Yuezhou kept running hard and placing pressure on an increasingly-nervous Stars team, and Yincheng striker Wang Jiahui's brilliant curling strike in the seventy-second minute killed any chance at a comeback.

Yuezhou 4 - 2 Northwest Kalactin
Starting Lineup (5-3-2): Ruo; Kang, Ren, Han, Zhuang, Qiu; Li (Yang 54), Guo (Chen 71), Gu (C); Liu (Luo 65), Huang
Goals: Li 7, 25; Huang 60, Luo 74
MoTM: Huang Shedong (ST)

After a back-and-forth home match that nevertheless ended in jubilation for the Yincheng home crowd, the underdog Red Dragons find themselves in position to qualify for the playoffs and just one point out of a guaranteed World Cup berth. While Farfadillis was shut out in consecutive matches in stunning fashion, their two-point lead at the top of the table is likely to hold up through the rest of the qualifiers. Behind Yuezhou, fellow upstarts Plane of Possibility (one point behind) and Graintfjall (four points behind) are still in with a shout, while Sarzonia (six points behind) will be determined to put a calamitous fortnight behind them and qualify for a second consecutive World Cup.

Every single one of the final seven matches will be absolutely critical for the Red Dragons’ qualification chances, especially the next pair of qualifiers’ matches against Eraman and Overseas Territories of Sylestone. Yuan Zilai has aimed to shore up the defense against high-scoring Eraman (27 goals scored, third-best in the group) with his five-at-the-back system, while against the reduced attacking threat of the Overseas Territories (just eleven goals, worst in the group), he’s expected to put Guo and Wen in midfield for a more aggressive 4-3-2-1.

Lineup to start against Eraman: Ruo; Kang, Ren, Han, Guo, Qiu; Yang, Chen, Gu (C); Liu, Huang
Lineup to start against Overseas Territories of Sylestone: Ruo; Kang, Ren, Han, Qiu; Chen, Guo, Gu (C); Liu, Wen; Huang

by **Sylestone** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 7:07 pm

Elves agree to permanent embassy
Last week, evidence that elves had been discovered in the Melville Rainforest was found and confirmed today, by politician and explorer Alex Thompson. He walked right into the majestic elven city where an assembly of surprised elves began levelling their bows at him. He stood there, hand up and explained what he was going to do. Using their secret magic, they deemed him to be telling the truth. Thompson showed them directions to Emacuton, the nearest city, where they met government officials and an embassy was made between the two nations. We hope tit will last many lifetimes.

Sylestone 1-0 Delaclava
Sylestone have defeated Pot 6 side Delaclava at home to grab hold of their third win of the WCQ. It was an important win and the first against a side ranked higher than them. Hopefully, the form they produced can keep them going for a little while longer. However, despite the 1-0 win, the game was largely uneventful and both sides played possession football. Sylestone just happened to keep 57% possession and that was what won them the game.
Both sides really should have scored early on, but Keaton Durbridge messed up a relatively easy shot at goal and the Bar Stool mistimed a header over the crossbar, so the score remained 0-0 until half time. Both sides were playing evenly and the game looked set to be a draw. Then the second half occurred.
Going into half-time with effectively 50% possession on both sides, it was quite obvious that the Delaclavan national side was beginning to tire and the Appliances made sure to just try and keep possession for the rest of the game. This tactic worked. In the 83rd minute, the Tumble Dryer broke through the tired Delaclavan defence and spanked the ball past George Ross and it was 1-0. And so it stayed.

SYLESTONE - 1
Tumble Dryer 83'

DELACLAVA - 0

Southwest Eastnorth 3-2 Sylestone
Oh well. Shit happens. It's hard when your best striker goes off in the 62nd minute after scoring two goals to put Sylestone 2-1 up. Two goals from Southwest Eastnorth in the final half-hour settled the result in their favour. But things happen and it is what it is.

In just the fourth minute, the Mixer took off after a wayward corner kick from the Stove and got to it. Dribbling the ball around Iva Johncock and Keven Elder, he shot the ball into the corner of the goal and it was 1-0 to Sylestone. Unfortunately for the Appliances, though, Chris Houton found a flaw in the defence where the Toilet was supposed to be and broke through, ignoring the defender yelling at him as he slipped a curling shot past the Brick Wall. 1-1. A couple more attempts at goal were made but they were saved by the goalkeepers at either end.
Early in the second half, the master dribbler in the Mixer spun his way past Snodgrass, who fouled him. The Mixer creamed the free-kick over the wall and down into the post. The ball rebounded in and it was 2-1. But disaster struck. In the 62nd minute, Klattenburg attempted to stop a pass from the Mixer. The ball rebounded and sent the Mixer flying as it crashed into him. With th striker gone, SWEN scored two more goals as they won 3-2.

SOUTHWEST EASTNORTH - 3
Houton 20'
Austin 68'
Johncock 76' (P)

SYLESTONE - 2
Mixer 4' 50'

Predictions:
Sylestone 1-1 Juvencus
Poafmersia 2-0 Sylestone

by **Sulsuland** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 7:57 pm

*scrolling through the channels on your tv your browsing is abruptly stopped by what appears to be two Sulsu’s in relatively formal getups on what appears to be a news broadcast*

“HeLlo friEnDs, anD WElcome To cHanNel 5 SulSU nEwS” One of the Sulsu says.
“SulSu NoT suRe WhaT hAppEn tO chaNnEl 1-4 buT iT okaY.” The second Sulsu chimes in.

The first Sulsu speaks up again. “gOoD NewS fOr aLl ThE fisHermeN oUt tHere... WhiCH iS EverYonE.”

“biG HurriCaNe coVerInG whOle planEt riGht noW, and YoU knoW whaT thaT MeaN? fiSh! LoTs of FisH! FiSh evEn Be whErE fisH wAsn’t BefOre!” finishes the second Sulsu.

“YeS yEs, SulsU suRE evERYonE Looking ForwArD to It.” *The first sulsu mentions as a footnote crosses the screen nonchalantly mentioning a death toll in the millions.* “BuT wiTh oThEr nEwS, HerEs SulSu WitH spoRts.” finishes the Sulsu.

*The screen pans over to another Sulsu who looks exactly like a caveman who’s never heard of soccer but is trying to look the part anyway would look like*
“HeLlo fRienDs. thIs Is SulSu, woRlD cUp soUnDs LikE gOing weLl, SulSu noT reaLlY SuRe hoW you FiT thE whOlE woRLd In a CuP buT oh WeLl. ThErE loTs oF numBerS aNd SulSu CanT cOunT tO anY oF theM buT SulSu iS sUre that SulsUlanD wiNninG tHem AlL.”.

*The camera pans back over to the first pair of Sulsu, where the one on the right sneezes*

*The Sulsu who sneezed begins talking in a completely normal dialect and sounds nothing like the other Sulsu’s* “Now. As for news regarding Omniversal domination, the collective has-“ *the Sulsu sneezes again, and returns to his normal Sulsu dialect* “oH? whAT WaS thAT? SuLsu noT ReMembEr. AnYwaY, OntO the weAthEr.” *The Sulsu on the left speaks again* “LooKs likE thaT hurRicaNE suRe haS PaId oFf! RepOrtS aLl AcroSS suLsuLanD oF fiSh raIn! is likE a MiRacLe! The besT NewS is thaT THiS coNtiNuEs FoR whOlE wEEk!

*before the Sulsu can continue, the building where this is being recorded is rapidly flooded, knocking the camera off its feet, for its last few seconds of life it records all the Sulsu in the studio swimming around catching fish that were swept in with the flood*

*Your tv goes dark for a moment, before flickering back to life with your normal shows playing*

by **Chromatika** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 9:38 pm

Part 1: The Barbed Inn, Chromia
Part 2: The Emerald, Ming
Part 3: Killjoy, Cortez River
Part 4: Jordan's Talk
Part 5: Islander Dome, Myana
Part 6: Busukuma/Mid-Qual Thoughts

World Cup 86 Qualifying Matchday 10:

Score: Chromatika 3-2 Quakmybush @ The Hive, Deprí Sanar
Goals: Gail '11, Zuniga '48, Thibodeaux '88
Starting XI: Tioux; Chapman - Will - Ken - Rowles; Kelly - Zuniga - Dragana (C); Gail; Sierra - Thibodeaux.
Substitutes: Friedman -> Will ('51), Marc -> Kelly ('66), Kim, M.J. -> Gail ('81)

World Cup 86 Qualifying Matchday 11:

Score: The Gothanita Isles 0-4 Chromatika
Goals: Kelly ('4), Dragana ('29), Sierra ('63), Bird ('90+1)
Starting XI: Tioux; Chapman - Will - Ken - Rowles; Kelly - Zuniga - Dragana (C); Gail; Sierra - Thibodeaux.
Substitutes: De Saint-Pierre -> Chapman ('56), Reynolds -> Dragana ('72), Bird -> Thibodeaux ('84)

Now with Video!

Deprí Sanar was always an interesting city to visit. The younger brother of Deprí Lanar, it is known as the headquarters of Death Templars Law Firm; other than that, the city is famous for good food, courteous people, and industry.

As Chromatika looked for revenge against Quakmybush, Kimi Jin found herself in the stereotypical definition of a dive bar - a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant that had five tables and sat at most seventy people at once. BeeBee's Bites was founded twenty years ago by a retired schoolteacher named Jerry Elliott, who hired his best friend and partner Cassidy Puckett as chef and never looked back. Serving authentic comfort food based around all the major meats (beef, pork, chicken, goat, and lamb) and some very good alternative fare (the vegans and vegetarians flock to BeeBee's in droves), BeeBee's, known as Triple B to the locals, is known as a place to have good food, great company, and a fabulous atmosphere to watch both Chromatik Anomalies games and Deprí Sanar, Deprí Sanar Vipers, and Deprí Sanar United games. Since it is located in the western part of the city near the dual bridges that span the Sanar River, Triple B is in Viper territory; supporting a team that is in the Green League (fourth tier of Chromatik Football) only adds to its eclectic charms.

Jerry Elliott consented to Kimi and "Anomalies in Chromatika" corner coming in as long as they only brought in one camera as to not take away from the seating; they consented as this little dive bar had been on their list ever since the idea for the show had been pitched.

Thirty minuted before kickoff, Kimi found herself shaking the hand of Jerry Elliott, a middle-aged, jovial man with a mischievous personality and a hearty laugh; she could tell that he was a personality and a character who knew how to crack jokes without being offensive, a very good combination.

"Welcome to Viper territory!" he exclaimed excitedly, "It's an honor to have you here for this very important match!"

"Thank you," responded Kimi, "Are there any regulars here that I should meet with?"

"Nikki Barnstead, Kevin Nox, and Xirili Pontmain," responded Jerry, "Just ask around."

As the players came out onto the pitch of The Hive, all talk seemed to gravitate toward the results of the last match - specifically, how Dina Chapman's blunder had cost the Chromatiks at least a draw.

"She's played much better since," stated a blonde haired woman wearing spectacles nursing a drink, "I think it was a good learning opportunity, and as long as those three points don't cost us the campaign, a step on the right path for Ms. Chapman. Also, she actually gets to play against them again, so hopefully she'll be able to enact some revenge."

The blonde woman identifies herself as Nikki Barnstead, one of the Vice Presidents of Death Templar Law Firm.

"Why do you choose to come to this place to watch Anomalies games when you could go anywhere with the amount of money that you make?" was the first question that Kimi posed. Sure, it was perhaps a little forward, but it seemed to be an interesting one to go over.

"Nobody supports my Vipers! I've been a fan since the regional leagues started to be spotlighted, and this is the best place to be if you want to be a Vipers fan. Also, who doesn't like good food?"

Kimi couldn't say much to that.

The game turned out to be another close affair, with the Anomalies barely edging out Quakmybush due to a late header from Thibodeaux.

Kimi learned from Nikki Barnstead that DTLF wasn't truly pulling out of supporting the RLS; they were still the primary sponsors of the Violet Cup. She also claimed that the Vipers would be in the Orange League by RLS Season Ten.

Kevin Nox turned out to be an office worker for a nearby factory who had been to every match in the Deprí Derby's storied history; he was very excited for the possibility of a Deprí Lanar against Deprí Sanar Promotion/Relegation Playoff, while ensuring that the Yellow Jackets would definitely win that match.

Xirili Pontmain is a Deprí Sanar high school teacher who takes his students to Yellow Jackets games once a quarter; apparently, that was okay with the team through a program where they allowed certain number of high schools to participate.

The food? Fried chicken was the best Kimi had in years, the vegetables were crisp and fresh, and she had a good time with the locals.

It was a good day in the office.

Blouman. Empire. Awaits.

Team Selection
MD12: vs. Blouman Empire @ RCK Field, Alnio (Cap. 100,400; 32,000 Seats)
MD13: @ Free Republic of Hong Kong
Starting XI: Ria; Xiao - de Aea - Ken - Ilya; Victoriane - Armageddon (C) - Conrad; Mora; Andisori, K. - Vidal.
Bench: Tioux, Chapman, Will, Friedman, Austic, Thorben, Dias, Zuniga, Dragana, Kuzami, Sierra, Andisori, B.

by **Mavinet** » Sun Sep 13, 2020 10:36 pm

© Bóng Tròn Magazine
Know Your Government – WC86 Edition: Back to school
by Dang Duc Tri, Associate Sports Editor

Occasionally when writing my articles for the magazine under the sweet motivative forces of deadline and unmet quota, I think: “Man, would it be great if I can go back to school again. Those were the good times!” Wish and I shall receive, because for this issue I will go back to school. Well, not literally. We will head to the Ministry of Education to take a look at the works of the educators. How is it related to football? It turns out the early successes we have gained in international football have a lot to do with years of development starting from the education system. But before we dive into that, let’s take a brief look at Mavinet’s ongoing qualifying campaign.

Mavinet started the second half of the qualifying stage at home, greeting a determined Terre Septentrionale side who were itching to claim the second place. The Nordiques, similar to the first encounter, were the dominant side despite playing away from home. Mavinet’s defense clearly felt the impact of missing experienced center back Ho Hung Dung through injury. All 3 Septentrional goals were scored by Fryderyka Cwierczakiewiczowa in the 30th, 52nd and 57th minutes. Captain Nguyen Quang Khai scored the only goal for Mavinet in the 71st minute with a well-executed free kick. A disappointing loss, but not surprising given the difference in quality between the sides.

The second match of the set took place in Damukuni’s. Mavinet had a resounding 5-1 victory at home against this opponent in the first leg, and certainly came into the second on with an aim for all 3 points. Playing away did pose a challenge to Head Coach Minh Quan’s squad but overall, the team had regained confidence quickly after the loss to Terre Septentrionale. The final score indicated a tight match, and indeed it was. Damukuni took advantage of home ground to score first in the 22nd minute. Mavinet pulled the game back 5 minutes after thanks to Ho Vu Thanh Hoang’s right foot strike inside the box. Damukuni again took the lead in the 35th minute. Ho Vu Thanh Hoang, fresh on his legs right after half time, restored the balance in the 46th minute. The Water Buffaloes controlled the match better in the second half. Tran Hoang Minh and Lam Tri Thong established a 2-goal lead in the 55th and 71st minute respectively. Damukuni threatened to eliminate the gap when they scored their third goal in the 82nd minute, but that was the last goal of the game. Both sides were unable to bring about another goal, and Mavinet left Damukuni with 3 points to keep up the top 2 race with Terre Septentrionale and New Lusitania, who drew with each other in a 8-goal thriller.

As always, football editor and analyst Pham Ngoc Le will bring you the play-by-play review, match analysis and preview of the next matches on page 4 of the magazine.

Headquarter of the Ministry of Education

Let us now get to know our government, specifically the agency that is responsible for taking care of our young ones and making sure they are well-equipped physically and intellectually. The Ministry of Education’s mission is right in their name. As beneficiary of the education system ourselves, we all know the extent that system influences other areas of society, but we often don’t give enough credit to it when actual achievements are made in those different areas. That’s what we are going to do in this issue.

A bit of history: The Ministry of Education, despite its seemingly fundamental nature, was not actually one of the Original Six ministries that predated the founding of the Republic. The function of education in government existed back in the monarchy but was only a part of the Ministry of Rites’ domain, which was also responsible for other functions like foreign affairs and imperial communication. With abolish of the monarchy and the development of a people’s government, specialized ministries are needed to handle fundamental aspects of society. The Ministry of Education was officially established 1887 as a specialized agency, and was tasked with establishing and regulate the system of schools, curriculum and literacy programs in the early days. From a pre-Revolution literacy rate of 20% of total population, the Republic’s basic education programs from the late-1880s to the start of the 20th century brought the rate up to 78%, and to 95% by the end of 1920s after the standardization of Nom writings and the official introduction of the romanized alphabet in school curriculum. With the development of the country and the coming of the modern age, the education system has continuously improved the curriculum to include more updated knowledge and practical methods. In the 1980s, youth sport programs were made mandatory in schools and physical education was reformed with a goal to bring Mavinet’s sporting power up to par with the world.

This issue’s interviewee is Ms. Nguyen Thi Lan Phuong, the Director of the Physical Education Administration, a specialized department of the Ministry of Education created during the 1980s’ efforts to reform and direct youth development in sports. We met at the headquarter of the Ministry at 28 Pham Ngu Lao Street, Dai Hoa to learn about the contribution of education in our sport development.

1. It has been close to 40 years since the government started implementing youth sport initiatives in schools. How have Mavinese youth sport programs changed during that time?

“Before the mid-1980s, we did not really have any coordinated or extensive youth sport development programs, and certain did not have them in the education system. Most of the youth development at that time was left to professional sport teams, and even there very few teams have dedicated facilities for that purpose. Since the 1980s, every schools in the countries are required to provide at least 8 hours of physical education a week, whether through PE classes or extracurricular activities. Coupled with that was the financial support for schools to provide incentive for student athletes and promote participation in school sports. The curriculum for physical education and sport training was reformed as well to be interesting enough for young kids but also maintain clear goals for physical development. There were a lot of actions taken at the K-12 levels to promote active lifestyle and sports. So the youth sport program shifted from being an exclusive responsibility of sport teams to being a shared responsibility with the education system, with talented kids given the opportunity to discover their talents sooner and develop earlier at schools. We are still working on improving the quality of instruction at schools and create a clearer path for young athletes who want to pursue sports professionally.”

2. Mavinet debuted in international football a few years ago and had some early successes in official tournaments like the third-place finish in the 47th Di Bradini Cup or the 72nd Baptism of Fire trophy. Do you think these achievements have the reforms in the education system to thank?

“Yes, I think we are starting to see the benefits of having an effective early physical education program. One clear difference our efforts created was the better physical traits of our national players. If we look back to football players of previous generations, those before the reforms, we can see the average height has improved. The current group of players are able to compete with other national teams that are traditionally stronger than us physically. That’s an improvement not just for the sport players but also for Mavinese in general. Good nutrition and active lifestyle at a young age can improve the vitality of the country. Another contribution I think we made to our football successes was the bigger and better pool of potential talents for professional teams to recruit. We have seen more sport teams scouting for players as young as 6 years old at local schools and competitions. This gives more options to teams and to the young kids who want to pursue sport professionally as well.”

3. Where do you see the youth sport programs in the education system go from here?

“We are partnering with the authorities and experts of advanced countries in education and sports to learn and improve the curriculum even more. Cassadaigua is one of the most active countries in this field and being their neighbor brings us the advantage in learning from them. We have already had a cooperative program where clubs send their junior players to Cassadaigua to learn and train. We plan to expand this to the education system and provide students from K-12 levels the exchange experience. We are also partnering with sport equipment manufacturers for an infrastructure development program to be implemented at schools in underdeveloped areas so more can access the benefits of physical activities. All of these are the continuation of what we have implemented so far.”

4. Other Ministries’ representatives have made their bet on the upcoming World Cup’s winner. What is your opinion?

“Cassadaigua would be my choice. Not only because I have a close working relationship with them, but also because I support the empowerment they give to girls and women. As a woman working in sports, I have been a fan for a long time and would totally support them in the upcoming World Cup.”

That’s all we can provide in print for this issue’s Know Your Government. The full interview video is available on bongtron.com if you would like to know more about the youth sport program in our country and the Ministry of Education’s plan for future youth sport development.

The second half of the qualification stage has officially started and Mavinet are still going strong despite losing the second place to Terre Septentrionale. The Water Buffaloes and the Nordiques are level on point and only 1 point above New Lusitania, who are also fiercely competing for the only other qualifying spot in this group. New Lusitania will be one of our next opponents in what may prove to be a decisive match in Mavinet’s hope for getting into the World Cup final tournament. Can our players realize the dream of the country in this strong run? That will be a question for the issue, and we will see you then at the next destination: the Ministry of Justice.

MD10

MAVINET - 1
71' Nguyen Quang Khai

TERRE SEPTENTRIONALE - 3
30' Fryderyka Cwierczakiewiczowa
52' Fryderyka Cwierczakiewiczowa
57' Fryderyka Cwierczakiewiczowa

MD11

DAMUKUNI - 3
22' ???
35' ???
82' ???

MAVINET - 4
27' Ho Vu Thanh Hoang
46’ Ho Vu Thanh Hoang
55' Tran Hoang Minh
71' Lam Tri Thong

by **Twicetagram and JYPe** » Mon Sep 14, 2020 12:27 am

Home >> Sports >> International

Twicetagrien Premier League: Are the Ponies the real hype?
by Antonov Vasilyev

Today we’ll be visiting some old friends: the ponies. The ponies were one of the first inhabitants of Twicetagria, and needless to say they’ve set up the whole country’s timeline. However, with the equestrian population dwindling, we don’t know if their heritage will live one. What’s assure is that their football heritage will certainly live on with Unitopia FK and Novi Kanterlot.

Unitopia

What's the narrative in 20 words?
After a tumultuous season, seeing their manager sacked and having dropped places, Unitopia will be looking to improve this season.

How did last season go for them?
After hanging around on the bottom of the table for 5 weeks, their Long time manager was sacked, bringing in freshly knighted Krio de Lune. De Lune then brought them to safety with 6 points above the relegation spots.

Got any interesting stats from last season?
Their old manager, Lyndon James was the longest serving manager in the league, and the only pony manager in the league’s history, so it was a sad moment when he had to leave.

Any transfer news?
Unitopia have brought veteran Korros Cho on loan from Tvoygrad, where he’ll sure be a leader in the group.
In: Cho(loan)
Out: Zaravig

Fun fact about the manager?
Krios de Lune is the best youth manager of his time, winning 4 successive leagues and cups.

Where will they hope to finish?
After a bleak start de Lune brought them out of misery, so we bet they’ll be hovering over the relegation spot, though by how much we aren’t sure.

Our Verdict: 12th

Novi Kanterlot

What's the narrative in 20 words?
A successful second season in the league had them challenging the top guns, and the players are a promising bunch.

How did last season go for them?
Just 2 Seasons after they got their promotion to the Premier League, Novi Kanterlot have been flying high and away as they landed a 7th place finish.

Got any interesting stats from last season?
Novi Kanterlot have fielded the most youth academy players last season, with 26 of them playing in their 30-matchday schedule.

Any transfer news?
Novi Kanterlot have made much more profit than their expenditure, three departures brought hem over 70$ million, while they have just bought one youth player for a measly 1.5$ million.
In: Karamel
Out: Dargozhov, Apollon, Martins

Fun fact about the manager?
Daniel Gostochov is the only manager in the league who’s mixed ethnically: half human, half werewolf(in this case werewolves are just anthropomorphic wolves).

Where will they hope to finish?
Novi Kanterlot are definitely an exciting bunch to watch, so don’t be surprised if they’re title contenders in the future.

Our Verdict: 6th

by **The Sarian** » Mon Sep 14, 2020 3:15 am

On Right Wing
The Football Blog That's Rolling Away

Not to be a drag... but a cautionary tale
by Arveur Grappenmaker

Harlot Engels wearing a bicycle helmet with flowers affixed to it

It's odd that I am writing a sports blog. Frankly, I don't know anything about sports. Or care. But when this story came up in the group Trello, I knew I had to take it. Here is the cautionary tale of Harlot Engels. That's right sports fans: this is a Drag Race blog now. And you've already clicked, so you might as well read on.

Harlot Engels - a slightly slutty play on Harriet Engels, the former WorldVision winner - was never expected to do well. A ratchet queen from Tocigtuon? They're there to make up the numbers so it is less blantly obvious that the show is just promoting the latest already-semi-famous queen from local stardom to national brand deals. But Harlot Engels was different, she was actually surprisingly good. She could do comedy, she could do glamasorous, she could do horror, she could do pretty. And she could read a bitch to filth. For those who are confused, she could do everything. In sporting terms, she was like a goalkeeper who was also the team's leading scorer and leading assister. The opening batsman who was also somehow the team's best spinner, best seamer and had more catches per matches than the Wicketkeeper. The Gridiron reference that I'm too lazy to google. No-one expected it, but at the half-way stage she had risen to the top of the pack.

Then came the Snatch Game. For those unaware, the Snatch Game is a segment which happens once a season on Drag Race. Contestants must dress and impersonate a celebrity in a faux-game show. In the earlier seasons, before cis-het women discovered and ruined the show, this would contain a lot of penis jokes. But the sanitised version can still make or break a queen. It's the ultimate test: they must look convincing but draggy, sound similar but campier and be funny. The winner of the Snatch Game instantly rises up in everyone's estimations and often go on to win. Those that flop have a season's worth of goodwill evaporate instantly. Harlot Engels crushed it. She didn't just do one snatch, she did two. And she nailed both of them.

At this point, it was looking extremely likely that the most un-likeliest of queens would be the Next Drag Superstar^tm. But then she didn't. As with nearly all statistically unlikely things, the mean reasserted itself. She was poor in week six, garish in week seven and sent home in week eight. There's not even a profound explanation for it: she did better than anyone, including herself, expected. Then she did as well as anyone could have expected.

So what does this have to do with football? Well, The Sarian are doing better than anyone - including themselves - expected. That's what happened to Harlot Engels. And the 6-2 away win at Vilita? That was the snatch game. But we're in a post snatch game world now. I'm not saying that The Sarian are definitely going to suffer a series of humiliating losses which will leave them in sixth place. I frankly don't know enough about football to make that assessment. I'm just saying, don't be surprised if they do.

And most importantly, please, please, if you're going to riot: do it in a rich neighbourhood.

Line-up versus Staypuftonia: (4-2-3-1) Oodel Duoztiun / Walt Beunaad, Jaxon Pieuz, Henri Brejzun, Ceurtiz Mazden / Jodi Lauri, Hugo Sint Lo / Lach Houten, Fleur Rietdekker, Cnut Zumer / Wera Pauwelz

Line-up versus The Macabees: (4-4-1-1 AM) Oodel Duoztiun /Trent Kindvanbruux, Jaxon Pieuz, Henri Brejzun, Ceurtiz Mazden / Wictor Buul, Luc Bisop, Hugo Sint Lo, Maeri Beniut / Mohammad Islam / Lach Houten

by **Springmont** » Mon Sep 14, 2020 4:02 am

Esthampton Citypark Complex

For most football fans, they are quite excited and synonymous with their favorite team stadium. The stadium is where they see their favorite teams and players playing every week. However, for players and coaches, they are more interested in training centers and facilities. Why? This is because the training center is where they spend most of their time as professional football players and coaches. This is the place for them to ensure fitness at full level, sharpen their skills in the game and apply tactics and formation for the team.

Each training center is different from other training centers. Clubs that play at the top level have better and more sophisticated facilities compared to clubs that play at the lower league level. So let’s take a look at the 11 basic facilities needed at each training center:

Outdoor Pitch
Usually use natural grass with the same pitch size in the stadium. The field is used for training, matches between squads and friendly matches. In addition, the grass selected is grass that is resistant to various weather conditions such as heavy rain and snow so that it can undergo training in various conditions.

Indoor Pitch
In addition, most clubs also provide indoor pitches. Often, artificial turf with specific standards is selected so that it can be used when weather conditions do not allow for outdoor training. This field is used to apply tactics and secret formations specifically to be used in the face of a match. The size of the pitch built is also the same size as the team’s official stadium.

Gymnasium
Apart from playing with the ball, players also need to ensure that their physical condition is at the highest level. However, the physical training required by attacking position players is different from defensive position players. The same goes for young players and senior players. Therefore, the club ensures that their gymnasium has a variety of tools so that the fitness coach can design specific training for each player as required by the head coach.

Swimming pool
One of the exercises that can be done by players with minor injuries is swimming. Cardiovascular exercise can be done without adding load to the joints and muscles that are still in injury. This is important to maintain the condition of the player without further increasing the injury if following regular training. Some clubs also have hydrotherapy pools. Slightly different from a regular pool, this pool is applied to severely injured players for the recovery process.

Recovery centre
Most clubs have different names for this facility. Synonymous, this center is often called the Physiotherapy Center. Here, physiotherapists and doctors for the club are in charge of monitoring and rehabilitating players who suffer from ligament and joint injuries for example.

Office
Includes offices for Head Coaches and coaches to formulate strategies, tactics and formations for players and teams. In addition, here they can monitor the report from the monitor (scout) for some suitable players to be signed in the transfer window (transfer window).

Cafeteria
Apart from physical training and injury treatment, some clubs are also building a Cafeteria as a measure to have a special diet for the players. This diet is specially designed by nutritionists with the instruction of the head coach so that he can give the game performance as he wants.

Meeting room
Placing space for players and coaches to discuss preparing the team for the next match. Secondly, they also discuss their opposing team so that various advantages can be identified to ensure victory for each match.

Washing Facility
The players' jerseys and clothes became dirty after matches and training sessions. Kitman will collect all the clothes and will wash them to ensure a level of cleanliness.

Common Room
An area is used for players and staff to relax and spend some free time. Often televisions, table tennis and some other casual games are placed here. The players spend time hanging out with teammates and building friendships to enhance teamwork during the match

Media room
Where a press conference or session to introduce new players or staff can be held, it is also to provide the best facilities for the media that covers the club and also matches involving the club

by **Nephara** » Mon Sep 14, 2020 5:05 am

Hwiccemark 2 - 4 Nephara
(4-4-2) 20 - Matheny; 18 - Rostock, 22 - Lockheed, 6 - Verlander, 19 - Strassman; 7 - Westerveld, 15 - Kastriot, 21 - Reach (8 - Cromwell 51'), 16 - Caracole; 14 - Tzorvas, 17 - Basilisk (23 - Mrdja 65')
Goals: Strassman 17', Basilisk 27', Tzorvas 57', Caracole 61'

Nephara 1 - 0 Unimon
(4-4-2) 1 - Provost; 18 - Rostock, 5 - Thorn (c), 22 - Lockheed (6 - Verlander 70'), 3 - Muscadin; 7 - Westerveld (13 - Belgrade 65'), 15 - Kastriot, 8 - Cromwell (21 - Reach 79'), 11 - Deventer; 14 - Tzorvas, 10 - Lovelace
Goals: Lovelace 53'

THE HERALD
FINDING REASONS TO BE MISERABLE FOLLOWING THE CORMORANTS
Sorrel Thorne

Eleven wins. A twelve-point gap at the top. Kurtis Bastable scoring in each of the first four games. Results maintained amidst sensible levels of rotation. A team containing no glaring holes under a trustworthy manager.

It's all a bit... boring, isn't it?

Look, why do the Cormorants exist? To win stuff? To make us happy? No, idiot. They're there so we have something to grouse about, so we can all pretend to be experts for a day and reckon that we could just solve everything if we could pick the team for a day.

The Nepharan national team exists to give you some common ground with Micaiah, from work, who you hate. So you can at least pretend you care what she has to say and nod along as you work yourselves up to say that actually yeah the whole generation's shot and we should just start fresh with the U21s.

And that maybe, maybe, when Micaiah from work who you hate goes on to clog up office communications because she doesn't know to Forward emails, maybe that's what stops you choking her to death with a phone-cord. So for the sake of office dynamics all over the country, in lieu of any obvious reasons to throw a shit-fit, here goes:

1. WHY HAVEN'T WE PLAYED 4-4-2 IN EVERY GAME
Imagine resorting to 'tactics' to win a match. Daniella Strauss should have her citizenship revoked, her passport thrown into the Brine. With archers loosing flaming arrows at it as it floats away. It's disgusting. Nephara keeps two up front at all times, even when it gets four men sent off.

2. Traudl Mrdja is a stupid name
The World Cup has seen plenty of crap names over the years, from the eyebrow-raising Alan Belless to the militarily confused Andrew Arrowsword. But at least they have vowels in them. I can respect Mrdja not wanting to go by 'Gertraud', which is a truly awful name in and of itself, but she needs to realise the surname she's working with and allow vowels into her life, so people can say her name without sounding like they're drowning in saltwater.

3. I mean it's not like we're conceding zero goals are we, Strauss, you fucking fraud
Reigning silver-medallists my arse. That should've been stripped of us the moment we conceded to Hwiccemark. Three times! Three fucking times! Which leads to...

4. Aranea Provost is not the greatest goalkeeper in the world by her early 20s
She's gone to seed, no mistake. Forget Hwiccemark, forget conceding to anyone, ever. Any interview with Provost reveals she thinks she's hot shit, and that's what the (lying, fraudulent) scouts told us, and yet that bench may as well be glued to her arse when the real teams hit.

5. Fuckin uhhhhhh
Uhhhhhhh

6. OI THAT'S A SUB-HUMAN INNIT, PEOPLE SHOULDN'T BE BLUE
I see you there, Reniira Clevinger. Thinking you can trick your way into the national team just by being a high-class Premiership defender by your early 20s, taller than basically anyone else in the league and able to more than handle yourself in a fight. Let out your inner bastard and show everyone the bleak depths of your pale, withered soul. She hasn't actually been called up yet, but why let that stop you?

This is for you, Micaiah - the one in every whitecollar environment. This list is keeping you alive. And if you don't know who the Micaiah in your workplace is, well... I've got some bad news, boss. You're it.

NEPHARAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 7
Goalkeepers: 1 - Hesterine Mercator (Eastweald, COS), 12 - Alexandra Markgraf (Sabrefell Moths), 20 - Aranea Provost (Holdefnberg, EUR)
Defenders: 2 - Rovena Stride (AFC Treason), 3 - Vivica Muscadin (Sabrefell Moths), 5 - Roxelana Thorn (Revolutionaries, EUR, c), 6 - Ilyana Brosch (Brinemouth), 18 - Linde Rostock (Stahlburg City), 19 - Bremusa Strassman (Crisisbless), 22 - Gabriel Lockheed (AFC Treason)
Midfielders: 4 - Tawny Shone (Sabrefell Moths), 7 - Marica Kuepper (Jungle Strike, VIL), 8 - Lothaire Cromwell (AFC Treason), 11 - Morena Deventer (Brinemouth), 13 - Ysabet Belgrade (Sabrefell Moths), 15 - Mercurio Kastriot (Crisisbless), 16 - Rasmus Caracole (Coret Hawks), 21 - Chimera Moxham (Ulsa, EUR)
Forwards: 9 - Kurtis Bastable (Ulsa, EUR), 10 - Konrad Lovelace (Revolutionaries, EUR), 14 - Arista Tzorvas (CA Paulinthal, PAS), 17 - Latona Basilisk (Coret Hawks), 23 - Traudl Mrdja (Vermillion Rage)

SCHEDULE
Nephara 4 - 1 Hwiccemark @ The Iron Hill (Vermillion)
Unimon 3 - 4 Nephara
Nephara 3 - 0 The Minarchist Free State @ Ludd's Hammer (Stahlburg)
Terre Septentrionale 0 - 5 Nephara
Nephara 3 - 2 New Lusitania @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)
Sharktail 2 - 4 Nephara
Nephara 2 - 1 Mavinet @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
Nephara 4 - 0 Havynwilde @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Damukuni 1 - 5 Nephara
Hwiccemark 2 - 4 Nephara
Nephara 1 - 0 Unimon @ Phoenix Rise (Corvistone)
The Minarchist Free State vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Terre Septentrionale @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
New Lusitania vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Sharktail @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)
Mavinet vs. Nephara
Havynwilde vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Damukuni @ The Gauntlet (Treason)

by **Xanneria** » Mon Sep 14, 2020 5:11 am

Points scored by Xanneria, Revenge sort of taken by Xanneria
excerpt from http://www.xtrasports.xan/nationalteam.htm

BLOUMAN EMPIRE - The Return leg of the World Cup Qualifiers started off in Blouman's empire. This was a highly anticipated matchup as the Blouman game in the opening qualifying match was filled with controversial post game comments from coach Rhule. Ol' Myrone said he was hungry for lobster and wanted to boil the Blouman team along with his lobster in pot of hot, boiling water. Needless to say there were so boos from the Blouman crowd when the Maroons came out of their airplane, their hotel and certainly when they came out on the pitch. The hostile environment didn't phase the Maroons though as they came out swinging, almost literally as within 30 seconds both Bray Feltzer and Isaac Cupstran ended up on the ground, but without a card for either, it was obvious that would be just the start of the madness. Blouman got in the goal first when Paul Credap sent a pass behind him to a wide open Luke Cousins, who by force of will and a foot powering a super sonic shot got it in goal. The return score by the Maroons took place not to long after. Bray Feltzer, muddied jersey and all sent a pass over to a wide open, old man known as Richard Presentino, who scored on a similar mid range missile! Those scores were the only ones in the game despite both offenses high power and willingness to run-up the score on opponents. In fact the physicality of the Xannerian team, along with the Blouman's disgust over the comments meant the game was mostly a physicall affair that result in a 95 minute draw.

Coach Rhule said the following

I mean, I know they don't exactly look at us fondly, so I am glad we stole a point from them. It is weird though to think about how many issues we had last cycle finishing games off and ended up drawing more opponents, here we're 10 games in before a draw though, hopefully we can continue to score points and goals though and take advantage of our opponents, with new knowledge of how they play.

Meanwhile the game versus HAIKU was another huge blowout win for the Maroons, though Presintino was unavailable for the game due to as bruised tailbone suffered in a freak home fall. His reserve Carlton Brower did well as he got to show off against HAIKU leading the Maroons with two goals and an assist on one of the others. Oddly his pro teammate, the innumerable and indispensable 38 year old, Devon Laymore, also had the other goals. Laymore and Brower should that Austin City is "limitless" in their domestic potential and many people in the Leitner provincial capital see that as a changing of the guard as such. It will be fun to see how the younger players such as Feltzer, Falcon and Brower work out.

BLOUMAN - 1
Cousins 9' 

XANNERIA - 1
Presintino 15'

XANNERIA - 4
Brower 30' 77'
Laymore 12' 44'


HAIKU - 1
??? - 69

by **The Jovannic** » Mon Sep 14, 2020 6:13 am

All the tactics The Jovannic has used

4-3-3

Gothal started with this formation, a sharp pass-thrust game, this formation is based on it's fast passing around the midfield before attempted thrusts. A very successful formation in early games. It was eventually phased out by the 4-2-4

Advantages:
Strong in all areas
Fast yet patient style

Disadvantages:
Requires large amounts of Stamina
Too rigid for Gothal's style

4-2-4

First used against Chromatika, the 4-2-4 suited Gothal splendidly. This formation required the wingers and full backs to be able to move up and down the field, which caused unpredictability and fluidity, with defences sometimes swapping with the midfield duo. Still in use today.

Advantages:
Fluidity and unpredictability
Fast moving ball play

Disadvantages:
Requires high endurance by wingers
Quite hard to win midfield balls if not supported

4-3-2-1

The Pyramid or Christmas tree formation, first used by The Jovannic in the CoH against Mecredeni. With them needing to win to qualify, Gothal decided to use this rigid shape to combat Mecredeni's fast moving passing game. This worked well, even after eventually losing 1-0. Was also used in the Friendly against Sylestone. Strong shape allows for organised passing and plays.

Advantages:
Solid defensive shape
Patient style

Disadvantages:
Predictable passing lanes

4-2-4 Defensive

A more defensive version of the 4-2-4, this allows the full backs to focus on more defensive duties as the team sits back. Used sparingly, most importantly against Zeka Reka and Hugtelthom, which The Jovannic won 2-1

Advantages:
More defensive--Better defence
Helps out tired players

Disadvantages:
Lack of powerful attack
Rigid

4-1-4-1

Has only been played in friendlies and during AOCAF, but it is an interesting one. Based on midfield passing lanes and feeding to the striker up top, it looks promising as a backup formation for the Emperors.

Advantages:
Strong patient style
Good support all round

Disadvantages:
Striker has to be decent
A bit rigid

by **Electrum** » Mon Sep 14, 2020 6:14 am

The Turnip: A review of the storylines in this World Cup Qualification
by Sweet-T, citizen journalist

Now I'm not necessarily saying that we're living in a reality that is entirely fictional, but I'm not necessarily not saying that we're living in a reality that is fictional. In this article, we go over some of the story lines we've seen in this cycle's World Cup Qualification, and rate them in terms of how believable this would be if our reality was written by a series of authors writing their own fictions. I mean you literally could not make some of these story lines up? Or can you?

1. We're still headed up by a thing called "The Computator"

Oh yeah! Does everyone still remember that Electrum is ruled by a fifth-dimensional collection of beings called The Computator? The four beings are connected to a central being called The Speaker. We haven't heard much about them lately, even despite the successful inclusions of some of their friends on the Electrumite national team roster. Akarelm, the team manager, had booted out some of the ... underperforming creatures... this cycle, but we really haven't heard much, with Seb (the Sentient energy ball) and the humans having the highest workrate in the team. Anyways, The Computator is just sulking that a lot of its players were kicked out, including the flying can of custard which we have to say, was quite derivative of the sentient blancmanges we have seen playing World Cup football. We give this true storyline two stars for not enough development or characterisation. Hopefully we hear more about The Computator soon, because we miss it.

2. Richard Swiss the Sulsu Hunter

Crikey mate! Richard Swiss is up to some malarkey with some sULsU hunting! The mysterious creatures are very cute and funny to watch and if this were a work of fiction, we would rate this series five stars as you just know the SuLSu expresses itself in such a way that it would be accurately expressed in a series of alternating upper and lowercase letters if it were written! It's got those funny little quirks that are totally random like suLsU's arguing, sUlsu wanting to eat fish, what a wide range of expressive emotions for a sea creature?

3. Somehow, Bloumany is doing well and we're not

Wow, this is so incredibly unrealistic. They restarted playing in the World Cup at the same time as us, and even though we are clearly the more accomplished nation with one World Cup victory, somehow the Bloumany are sitting pretty in third place in their group whereas we are sitting in fifth place in the so-called "Group of Death". This storyline of the Eagles doing really well just boggles the mind, and is one of those demented storylines that only Margaret could make up, you could even say this really blows man. And what's even more crazy is that their captain, John Miller, is impossibly handsome. Captains aren't allowed to be handsome -- it's the law. Anyways, if this storyline were fictional, we would give it four stars for simply infuriating us.

4. The failed state of Farfadillis

Worst storyline ever. I mean it was bad enough that the Farfs have to live in their own country, but imagine being one of the fifteen countries to be so happy to have stamped the ticket to get into the World Cup only to discover that you're going to play your games in ... Farfadillis. Honestly, with all the talk about World Cup Committee corruption with the awarding of a World Cup to a country that can't even govern itself... it makes us cry. It makes us cry about the state of money hungry football bureaucrats who would rather line their pockets instead of allowing their athletes to have a good time in a safe, developed country like Electrum. This corruption is actually happening, and we at the Turnip wonder why there hasn't been an inquiry into Farfadillis co-hosting the World Cup. Sadly, this kind of corruption is not a fiction at all, but if this storyline were fictional, we would give it one star for making us cry at the corrupt WCC.

by **TJUN-ia** » Mon Sep 14, 2020 7:02 am

By Peter Davis (OOC: Goalscorers from the opponents are based on teamsheets from CoH77 (FID) and BoF73 (SVS)

TJUN-ia's first half at this World Cup, in comparison to other tournaments, can be described as "great, with some hiccups". 4 Wins is certainly a good base to build on, but the 2 draws and 3 losses we suffered certainly hurt us a bit. 7 points behind leaders Mriin and 3 behind Tikariot, the Jaguars entered their 2nd half kickoff game in Tiankong looking to make a statement of intent against a floundering Filindostan side.

And David Seems' men certainly did that in the first half. In what could only be described as the best display of TJUN-ian footballing might, the Jaguars managed to enter the tunnels 4-0 up in a half filled with majesty and wonder. Antonio Rafael Vera was not to have a good day between the sticks, allowing Joe Green to score a first-half hattrick and Vladimir Podolov to get one himself. It was pure footballing magic and the Pula Garuda looked a bit miffed themselves. But they would fight back once the 2nd half began, 2 quickfire goals from Ina Teterissa adding chaos to this fixture. Archer Andrews and Prince Carter gave TJUN-ia it's 4-goal advantage back, but that didn't stop Muhammad Safri from adding a 9th goal to this fixture just before the full-time whistle. Tiankong finally had its first TJUN-ian win, and what a fixture it was.

After 9 in Tiankong, how does another 5 sound? The away leg of this week was in Se Vende Skooma (whatever remains of it) and the Potato Cannoneers certainly gave TJUN-ia a bit of an early fright. Indelicato Pope scored an absolute blinder of a goal inside 5 minutes, scorpion-kicking the ball over Gylfisson's head. Vladimir Podolov calmed everyone down with a nice goal just before half time and once the 2nd arrived, the Jags took control. Manu Kepelewako scored 2 off the bench while Podolov got his 2nd just before the full-time whistle.

After 2 great victories, a new picture has appeared. Mriin still holds that 7 point advantage over us but with that including beating Tikariot 2-1 away, it means we are only behind the Snowy Owls on head-to-head. The next 2 fixtures will be critical in our quest for finals football, and both of them will be in Szensky. Krasnaya Stena wants a win in CSTO territory and with both Natanians and Nosts and Port Ember coming to town, it will be interesting to see if glory can finally come to Beregozera. GO JAGS!

SCHEDULE (Group 11) - lines indicate when next edition of Boot It! will be released
MD1: @Filindostan (50) W 3-2 (T-2nd)
MD2: vs Se Vende Skooma (344) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City W 5-2 (1st)
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MD3: @Natanians and Nosts (114) - Stadion Nacional (?) D 0-0 (1st)
MD4: @Port Ember (38) - Lilly Black Memorial Stadium, Port Ember Megalopolis W 1-0 (1st)
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MD5: vs Union Europae (UR) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky D 0-0 (1st)
MD6: @Mriin (16) - Haven, Maal L 1-3 (2nd)
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MD7: vs South Newlandia (87) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong L 2-3 (4th)
MD8: @Southern Palm Islands (310) W 1-0 (T-2nd)
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MD9: vs Tikariot (243) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City L 0-1 (3rd/4W-2D-3L/+2GD/14pts)
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MD10: vs Filindostan (50) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong W 6-3 (3rd)
MD11: @Se Vende Skooma (344) W 4-1 (3rd)
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MD12: vs Natanians and Nosts (114) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky
MD13: vs Port Ember (38) - Beregozera Stadium, Szensky
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MD14: @Union Europae (UR)
MD15: vs Mriin (16) - National Stadium, TJUN-ia City
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MD16: @South Newlandia (87) - Jecken Arena, Newport
MD17: vs Southern Palm Islands (310) - Tiankong Stadium, Tiankong
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MD18: @Tikariot (243) - Dhaencunor Arena, Tikariot City

by **Brenecia** » Mon Sep 14, 2020 7:04 am

Brenecia 1 - 0 Nethertopia
(4-3-3) 1 - Wright; 2 - Bravender, 5 - Leadbetter (22 - Giltanan 87'), 6 - Mathers, 19 - Roscommon; 8 - Matheson (c), 4 - Townsend, 14 - Caitiff (13 - Ridenton 72'); 7 - Cheney, 17 - Lindauer (10 - Ciogach 67'), 11 - Pace
Goals: Pace 40'

Darkmania 3 - 6 Brenecia
(4-3-3) 20 - Cairncross; 2 - Bravender, 5 - Leadbetter (c), 22 - Giltanan, 19 - Roscommon; 21 - Parrish, 4 - Townsend (23 - Ondrejko 68'), 13 - Ridenton; 7 - Cheney (15 - Waters 57'), 9 - White, 16 - Fletcher
Goals: White 28', Ridenton 50', Bravender 56', Leadbetter 61', Parrish 76', Fletcher 90+2'

THE ROZELLE OBSERVER
Finding the Next Generation
Diarmuid Henderson

As the qualifying cycle ticks on, it looks as though the Patriots could have it sewn up if they can get four points from their next fixtures against Hampton Island and Lisander. Brelk-Xeral Erv will take the same side the always do, and probably do well with them. But the question has to come up; who will replace some of these old stalwarts?

Already there's been some positive steps towards regeneration. Dreigiau Parrish has come out a bit ahead of the young midfield competition and laid down a fair claim to a place on the plane by the end. The situation between the posts has been... clarified, with Cass Farrell's explosive depature at being reduced to third-choice after the emergence of Anthea Finnan. And, of course, the Casey Giltanan Gamble hasn't burned her out yet. But with the Patriots not entering the U21 World Cup as a matter of course, there is a lack of easy reference as to the best young players being shot out of the A-League year on year. This, then, is a stab at those players who could be the next cabs off the rank, all the way down the pitch.

1. Cairbre Dundalk, 23-year old Lotus Park goalkeeper
A boxy and resilient goalkeeper, Dundalk might be under six foot and look a little like a street-fighter, but don't let that fool you; he really is a street-fighter. Dundalk closes down angles sharply, and sweeps a leaky Park high line in the kind of way that is encouraging for the kind of player Brelk-Xeral has made it clear they expect between the sticks. A move abroad has been rumoured, but is he good enough with his feet to stick it for a top side?
Honourable mention: Tiarnan Cove, 23-year old Rozelle goalkeeper, a proven sweeper at a high level

2. Brutus Rutherford, 22-year old Brigham centre-half
He's literally called Brutus, what more could you ask for in a domineering defender? Rutherford looks the part, too, complete with a great mane of auburn hair. Hasn't been beaten in the air since he was about twelve, but also knows when to hold back his overwhelming power and avoid penalties. The only player on the list who plies their trade outside Nephara, Rutherford rotates ina nd out of the Brigham side.
Honourable mention: Mynah Seeler, 19-year old Pikemouth leftback, a slight, incisive battler

3. Ronan Schofield, 20-year old Rozelle defensive midfielder
Don't let the shag surname put you off - Schofield is 100% future Patriot. He might be the best player on the list, too. He's got a fine physique on a broad-shouldered 6'1" frame - certainly he looks like something of a superhero - and uses it to ease opponents off the ball rather than simply wrestling them. He's a tidy passer, as well, and has become accustomed to his role feeding a counter-pressing side from its core. Could use some more of the dark arts.
Honourable mention: 20-year old North Hall midfielder Tanya Messenger, a composed and mature figure

4. Mathgamain Fife, 20-year old Rozelle right winger
Schofield's club teammate! This one has a rather more Brenecian name, and is one might argue a more quintessentially Brenecian player, combining lethal pace with genuine guile. He's mostly been used as an impact substitute for the Saints so far, but has reliably, well, made an impact. Even so, he should and appears to clamour for more regular action.
Honourable mention: 19-year old Marque right winger Niko Longshore, a pugnacious, dangerous incisor

5. Cwenthryth Harper, 19-year old AFC Westpike striker
At the spearhead of the side are the slimmest pickings. Raise a beer to the timing of Mhacha White, because she could be without serious competition for years. Unless, that is, Cwen Harper lives up to her undoubted potential. Harper has a wrestler's physique, boxy and deceptively powerful, in a way that's reminiscent of Ursula Rankin (with all that implies). Rumour has it she may follow the Griffin Riordan path, playing for the Nephara U21s through her father's birthplace but with little intention of skirting the Patriots at senior level.
Honourable mention: 20-year old Lotus Park striker Rogue Lyrick, a fiery, spontaneous markswoman

BRENECIAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 7
Goalkeepers: 1 - Scathach Wright (Raynor City United, VAL), 12 - Anthea Finnan (Brigham, EUR), 20 - Opal Cairncross (Marketville, EUR)
Defenders: 2 - Clovette Bravender (Ulsa, EUR), 3 - Morwen Prentice (Farrenton Athletic, EUR), 5 - Finn Leadbetter (Holdenberg, EUR), 6 - Keane Mathers (Northern Stallions), 18 - Sorcha Lonergan (Northern Union), 19 - Triss Roscommon (Revolutionaries, EUR), 22 - Casey Giltanan (Workers Union, EUR)
Midfielders: 4 - Finn Townsend (North Hall), 8 - Elysse Matheson (Hornchurch, EUR, c), 13 - Isla Ridenton (Jaglan Royals, SRS), 14 - Esther Caitiff (Southern Star), 21 - Dreigiau Parrish (Kingsgrove), 23 - Tethys Ondrejko (Twin Saints)
Forwards: 7 - Lauren Cheney (Spartangrad, EUR), 9 - Mhacha White (Farrenton Athletic, EUR), 10 - Kara Ciogach (Lajuno, EUR), 11 - Tricia Pace (Northern Union), 15 - Linoan Waters (Brookford Otters, NPH), 16 - Ceridwen Fletcher (Holdenberg, EUR), 17 - Creidne Lindauer (Cazadores Cathair, AUD)

SCHEDULE
Nethertopia 1 - 4 Brenecia
Brenecia 1 - 0 Darkmania
Hampton Island 1 - 1 Brenecia
Brenecia 1 - 1 Lisander
Gyatso-Kai 2 - 3 Brenecia
Brenecia 4 - 1 Lo Santano
Pemecutan 4 - 5 Brenecia
Brenecia 1 - 0 Ethane
The Fortem 2 - 5 Brenecia
Brenecia 1 - 0 Nethertopia
Darkmania 3 - 6 Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Hampton Island
Lisander vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Gyatso-Kai
Lo Santano vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Pemecutan
Ethane vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. The Fortem

World Cup 86: Roleplay Thread

Richard Swiss: Sulsu Wrangler [Season 1 Episode 4]

Run of games without a win continues

Boot It!: MD10+11 - "How Many Goals?!?"

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