Aussie Rules World Cup 1. Everything thread

[TJUN-ia]

After losing heavily to a stronger Kelssek side yesterday, TJUN-ia needed a bounce-back game at Stoney Lane, Baggieland. Many hoped that would be today against the United Civil Republic and, judging by the scoreline, it certainly was. My goodness.

The UCR had 2.9, while was not bad but could be improved with more accurate kicking, but the Jags blew them out of the water. 23 goals, 28 behinds - 166 points. Now THAT is a bounce-back. Gregor McHulton led the scoring with 10.5 with Steven Cox and Logan Jackson both getting 5 goals each. It wasn't the best when it came to accuracy but when you scored points 51 times, that doesn't really matter.

The team celebrated a hard-earned win and many of them looked like weights had been lifted from their shoulders. The team, for the first time, sung their fight song in the changing rooms - named "The Call":

The Jaguars are here to win it all,
For TJUN-ia, we'll play for all!
Our flag is raised, Orange and Blue,
And we all know just what to do!
We'll fight, fight, fight and we'll win, win, win
Until the flag is ours to win!
So come aboard and sing, sing, sing
FOR THE JAGUARS ARE HERE TO WIN!

TJUN-ia is now in 2nd on Point Differencial and will be looking to keep up the pace. Our next game is at The Archway on Cunningham Island as we take on the team directly behind us on the ladder - the Mathuvan Union. GO JAGS!

---

SCHEDULE (Group 2)
MD1: vs Kelssek - Cooper’s Field, Stoney Lane (62,591) L 9.10.64 def. by 19.23.137 (6th)
MD2: vs United Civil Republic - Cooper’s Field, Stoney Lane (62,591) W 23.28.166 bt 2.9.21 (2nd)
MD3: vs Mathuvan Union - The Archway, Cunningham Island (19,026)
MD4: BYE
MD5: vs Alice Bay - Cooper’s Field, Stoney Lane (62,591)
MD6: vs Sylestone - Cooper’s Field, Stoney Lane (62,591)
MD7: vs HUElavia - Cooper’s Field, Stoney Lane (62,591)

[Sarzonia]

Joseph Lee was sitting at the bar watching the match between Sarzonia and The Jovannic.

He wasn't sure what he was watching. The action was completely foreign to him as he'd never even heard of this so-called Aussie Rules Football. He couldn't wrap his head around the multiple rugby codes enough to make heads or tails of that sport.

Plus, just what the hell was Australia anyway?

As he watched the action unfold on the pitch, the only thing that was making sense was seeing the navy-clad Sarzonian team's players celebrate much more frequently than their opponents were. The scoreline kept getting ever higher in favour of Sarzonia.

Lee looked around the bar. As far as he could tell, he was the only one paying attention to the match, as the majority of people were watching the lacrosse pre-match show discussing the Sarzonia-Banija knockout round battle and the remaining eight teams in that tournament.

There would be one way to get Sarzonian attention on this Aussie Rules "football," Lee and anyone who understands Sarzonians would tell you: Winning a championship. This team might or might not accomplish that goal, but getting off to a 2-0 start was certainly promising.

[Ko-oren]

OOC: finally get to write in West Strand Riding!

"Hmm, surely this is a misprint?"

"What is?"

"Ko-oren, first place-"

"I can assure you that's not a misprint at all"

"352 points scored, in two matches-"

"Yeah, that sounds a little unhealthy."

"just 40 points conceded. That's a point percentage of, carry the one, 880."

Ko-oren 34.13.217 def. The Jovannic 4.0.24

Halaethaed Commune 2.4.16 def. by Ko-oren 18.27.135

"A win by... nearly 200 points. What in the world, if a team would mail in their play like that in the KWSRARL they'd just get booted from the competition, honestly."

"And then a 'mediocre' performance by comparison 'only' beating the next team by almost 100."

"In return, only allowing the 16 points all match."

"This team has conceded six goals and four behinds in two matches, and has scored 52 goals in the meantime. Look at that horrible accuracy in the second match, 27 behinds to 18 goals, who was in charge of that?"

"Chuimarran kicked 19 goals so far. It seems that yFwstedd and yPaerhwd were on form in that first one, but then fell back dramatically in the second. In that first, they combined for, uh, nine goals. In the second, they got two. Oh, and 14 behinds. Ouch."

---

The KWSRARL (pronounced "Quiz-Rarl". Yes, that 'RL' is a single sound) consists of 6 teams and accounts for half of the national competition. Its teams play each other four teams each, for 20 weeks, until its champion meets the champion of the other half of the competition, for one single national final. That final is watched by, usually, a little under a million Ko-orenites. Of all West Strand Riding'ers, you can bet that at least 90% of them tune in - which makes about half a million.

The six teams of the KWSRARL play in the six largest towns of the region. The southern 'metropolis' Eaglebury (about 200.000 inhabitants, accounting for almost 50% of the region's population) commands quite a few players. There are no nearby teams. The other five all play in the northern part of the region, hours and hours away, making Eaglebury play an away match in terrible conditions every single time. From south to north, one encounters the town of Tarrashall, then Aralla, followed by Jillong, Myaranowra, and finally to 'eastern' Nyashawill - home of a domestic airport, which gives it something at least.

At lower levels, there are about a dozen more teams. The KWSRARL operates with six semi-professional teams (which is to say, expenses paid for, if lucky). The lower levels are amateur, with players putting up with hours and hours of travel for each match - all for the love of the sport, the tradition, and the strangeness that is West Strand Riding. On several accounts, Ko-oren's weirdest region.

[Sylestone]

Sylestone managed to grab a hard-fought win over HUElavia in their inaugural Aussie Rules game. Despite being down 50-42 after two quarters, Brian Cleavey scored 26 points (four six-pointers, two one-pointers) to put Sylestone in the lead after the third quarter. With the game on a knife's edge and the score 86-78, Lachlan Fiedler, a 19-year-old full-forward, scored three six-pointers in the final quarter to get Sylestone an important win. Despite the nation knowing barely anything about Aussie Rules football (although they're better than most), over 40,000 avid Sylestonean fans turned up to the game and the ground was almost full, with more than 80,000 people in it. It was also recorded that a little over 10% of Sylestone's population watched the game. The victory has put Sylestone in fourth place on the table, behind TJUN-ia and Mathuvan Union on goal difference, but ahead of HUElavia. Kelssek stands at the top of the group alone for the time being and the question is: Will Sylestone be able to join them next game? Kelssek are good, but today Sylestone showed their promise and we're in for a thriller in Matchday Three. Kelssek thoroughly disposed of Alice Bay, handing them a second defeat out of two matchdays and TJUN-ia won 166-21 against the United Civil Republic in another thrashing.
Hosts Baggieland defeated Megistos by a little over 50 points and The Jovannic and Halaethaed Commune once again got slaughtered. Sarzonia got a whopping 249 points against a weak Jovannic side and Ko-oren got 135 against Halaethaed Commune, with both sides proving strong.

The Sylestonean side have been seen training hard for their game against Kelssek, come back tomorrow and find out whether it paid off! But for now, we can only hope.

[Baggieland]

Cut off for matchday 2.

[Baggieland]

Matchday 3.

Group 1.

Ko-oren 8.13.61 def. by Baggieland 21.11.137
Sarzonia 21.23.149 def. Halaethaed Commune 4.7.31
United Civil States 15.16.106 def. The Jovannic 10.10.70

*                         Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Sarzonia                 3    3  0  0  526 175 +351  12
2 Ko-oren                  3    2  0  1  413 177 +236   8
3 Baggieland               2    2  0  0  236 109 +127   8
4 Megistos                 2    1  0  1  210 103 +107   4
5 United Civil States      2    1  0  1  214 198 +16    4
6 Halaethaed Commune       3    0  0  3   51 446 −395   0
7 The Jovannic             3    0  0  3  130 572 −442   0

[Baggieland]

Matchday 3.

Group 2.

Kelssek 10.15.75 def. by Sylestone 16.13.109
United Civil Republic 17.17.119 def. Alice Bay 14.14.98
Mathuvan Union 6.0.36 def. by TJUN-ia 26.19.175

*                           Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 TJUN-ia                    3    2  0  1  405 194 +211   8
2 Kelssek                    3    2  0  1  335 201 +134   8
3 Sylestone                  2    2  0  0  217 161 +56    8
4 HUElavia                   2    1  0  1  191 171 +20    4
5 Mathuvan Union             2    1  0  1  178 263 −85    4
6 United Civil Republic      3    1  0  2  228 406 −178   4
7 Alice Bay                  3    0  0  3  189 347 −158   0

[Baggieland]

The Daily Boing

Ko-oren 8.13.61 def. by Baggieland 21.11.137

Many thought before this game that Ko-oren would provide the toughest test for Baggieland in group one, as they had won both their previous games and had scored a very impressive 352 points in the process. However, the Throstles saw off the Eagles as the home nation’s tournament begins to grow in stature. Dunstall was once again the pick of the forward line, scoring seven goals and three behinds.

Let’s go straight to pitch-side where we can get a post match interview with the main man.

Daily Boing reporter
“How did the match go for you”?

Johny Dunstall
“Strewth mate, that was a ripper, me an’ the boys are really stoked with the result. I was playing like a right flammin’ galah in the 1st quarter, but I ain’t no bludger, I put in some hard yakka and got meself seven goals. Things were a bit close at half time, the Cobber gave us a bit of an ear-bashing, which was fair dinkum really. Anyway, me an’ the boys are off for a slab of stubbies, see yous”!

Daily Boing reporter
(Turns to the camera and speaks in a condescending tone).
“If anyone can translate what he said, please send it in to the Daily Boing website. These City of Albion folks speak with a funny accent, not the proper language that we speak in Hawthorn”.

[Sarzonia]

By now, a few more patrons at the bar were beginning to notice Sarzonia's performance in the Aussie Rules World Cup.

The Stars playing this particular brand of footie were sitting at 3-0, the last remaining unbeaten and undrawn team in the first ever World Cup devoted to this code.

They'd just defeated Halaethaed Commune 149-31 and led all 14 teams in the competition in total points scored with 526 and in point differential with a plus-351 margin. However, Sarzonia were getting ready to face their biggest challenge yet as they traveled to Albion to face host nation Baggieland. The host country were 2-0 and had their bye on Matchday 1. Sarzonia don't have their bye until Matchday 7, so the Stars will be idle on the last day of the competition.

The bar patrons saw the crawl point out that Sarzonia were 3-0, being the only undefeated team to have played all three matches. Baggieland in Group 1 and Sylestone in Group 2 were 2-0-0.

A couple of guys around Joseph Lee were crowding him to ask about the tables. They were going to commit to learning as much about this foreign sport as they could if Sarzonia were actually good at it.

[TJUN-ia]

The Island of Cuningham, the northern-most point of the nation of Baggieland, hosts the smallest stadium in use at the Aussie Rules World Cup. The Archway can only fit just over 19,000 people but that didn't stop many of TJUN-ia's fans from taking the ferry over to watch their team play. The Jaguars had gone from the south to the very north to play against the Mathuvan Union.

Our opponents didn't have much opportunity to score, but when they did they took them quickly. 6 goals out of 6 inside-50s is a not bad return for their side but when you consider what TJUN-ia did, it pails in comparison. The Jaguars were ruthless yet again, shooting 26 goals and 19 behinds. It would appear our offence has gotten more accurate between this game and the one against the United Civil Republic. The goals went around the field with 4 players (Gregor McHulton, Logan Jackson, Steven Cox and Liken Davidson) all taking 5 goals each. As the final siren went, the crowd applauded as "The Call" blared from the speakers.

The Jaguars are here to win it all,
For TJUN-ia, we'll play for all!
Our flag is raised, Orange and Blue,
And we all know just what to do!
We'll fight, fight, fight and we'll win, win, win
Until the flag is ours to win!
So come aboard and sing, sing, sing
FOR THE JAGUARS ARE HERE TO WIN!

The Jags are now at the top of the Group 2 ladder, ahead of Kelssek on point differencial. A brilliant performance on Secretary-General's Day and therefore a good day for TJUN-ia. They now will have their bye before returning to Stoney Lane for a 3-game stretch to end the group stage. Our first opponents will be (currently) bottom-of-the-ladder Alice Bay. GO JAGS!

---

SCHEDULE (Group 2)
MD1: vs Kelssek - Cooper’s Field, Stoney Lane (62,591) L 9.10.64 def. by 19.23.137 (6th)
MD2: vs United Civil Republic - Cooper’s Field, Stoney Lane (62,591) W 23.28.166 def. 2.9.21 (2nd)
MD3: vs Mathuvan Union - The Archway, Cunningham Island (19,026) W 26.19.175 def. 6.0.36 (1st)
MD4: BYE
MD5: vs Alice Bay - Cooper’s Field, Stoney Lane (62,591)
MD6: vs Sylestone - Cooper’s Field, Stoney Lane (62,591)
MD7: vs HUElavia - Cooper’s Field, Stoney Lane (62,591)

[Sylestone]

"I'm incredibly proud. We are the only unbeaten side in Group 2 and only one of three in the entire competition. And we have played against arguably the best two teams in the group, along with TJUN-ia. We now sit pretty in third place, undefeated. We actually might have a chance at this, you know? United Civil Republic hasn't been performing well so far, although they beat Alice Bay, so we might be able to get a comfortable and decisive victory. But we can't let our guard down. We've got to play our best. Just because they are in sixth place doesn't mean that we can treat them like schoolchildren. Think of them as Kelssek, or HUElavia, or even better, Sarzonia, who have a perfect 3/3 record. But anyway, that was a brilliant game. We really took to them in the third quarter, when the scores were equal 51-51 at halftime, right? If we can play as we did in the third quarter in every quarter, then there is no reason why we can't thrash everybody and everything that comes our way. So let's get training, practice that. We were behind in the first quarter 28-25. After that, we beat them in every quarter. 26-23 in the second, a whopping 30-0 in the third and 28-23 in the fourth. 30-0 every quarter means 120-0. That is ominous. And Kelssek is good; they're still in second place! But we can do this, we know we can."

A bar, somewhere in Baggieland.
"I have no idea what the rules of this game are." Said a person sitting in a bar, wearing a Sylestone flag draped around his collar.
"Does it matter? We won!" Replied his identical twin.
"I wanted to be there."
"You said you didn't know the rules!"
"I don't, but we won, and deserved it. That's what mattered."
"We have UCR up next, they shouldn't be too hard, if we're lucky, we could end up at the top if Kelssek lose!"
"Perhaps."
"Are you looking forward to going to the Three Degrees and Batson Island?"
"Hell yeah!"
"Sorry I can't come; my broken ankle is giving me strife. May as well just stay here and watch the game on TV again."
"I'll try to make you feel like you're there. Voice chat at the game?"
"Sound good to me. And don't get attacked by the HMS Onslaught!"
"I won't."

[Baggieland]

Cut off for matchday 3.

[Baggieland]

Matchday 4.

Group 1.

Halaethaed Commune 18.12.120 drew with United Civil States 18.12.120
Baggieland 11.19.85 def. by Sarzonia 14.17.101
Megistos 8.14.62 def. by Ko-oren 22.8.140

*                         Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Sarzonia                 4    4  0  0  627 260 +367  16
2 Ko-oren                  4    3  0  1  553 239 +314  12
3 Baggieland               3    2  0  1  321 210 +111   8
4 United Civil States      3    1  1  1  334 318 +16    6
5 Megistos                 3    1  0  2  272 243 +29    4
6 Halaethaed Commune       4    0  1  3  171 566 −395   2
7 The Jovannic             3    0  0  3  130 572 −442   0

[Baggieland]

Matchday 4.

Group 2.

Alice Bay 16.17.113 def. Mathuvan Union 14.15.99
Sylestone 26.19.175 def. United Civil Republic 7.7.49
HUElavia 16.8.104 def. by Kelssek 18.9.117

*                           Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Sylestone                  3    3  0  0  392 210 +182  12
2 Kelssek                    4    3  0  1  452 305 +147  12
3 TJUN-ia                    3    2  0  1  405 194 +211   8
4 HUElavia                   3    1  0  2  295 288  +7    4
5 Mathuvan Union             3    1  0  2  277 376 −99    4
6 Alice Bay                  4    1  0  3  302 446 −144   4
7 United Civil Republic      4    1  0  3  277 581 −304   4

[Baggieland]

The Daily Boing

Baggieland 11.19.85 def. by Sarzonia 14.17.101

Baggieland Defeated

Nation in Mourning

Baggieland were defeated for the first time by high-flying Sarzonia in a close fought match that could have gone either way. The Throstles were leading at half time: 6.10.46 to 4.11.35, but a strong second half showing by the visitors wrestled defeat from the jaws of victory for the home side.

Our intrepid reporter has tracked down a Baggieland supporter, Vinny Roberts, and a Sarzonian supporter, Joseph Lee, in a bar in Albion.

Reporter
How was the game for you guys?

Vinny
Strewth, I’m gutted mate, we should have won.

Joseph
We won?

Vinny
If just a handful of those behinds had been full-pointers!

Joseph
Behind what?

Vinny
Still, they had a higher rate of disposals.

Joseph
Well, someone’s got to take out the rubbish.

Vinny and the reporter
How the fuck did you win?

[Sarzonia]

Being interviewed by a foreign reporter was a new experience for Joseph Lee. Being interviewed by a reporter about a sport he knew next to nothing about was even more unusual.

Here it was, Sarzonia were undefeated in the Aussie Rules World Cup. Lee thought about the question from disconsolate Baggieland supporter Vinny Roberts and the journalist assigned to get reactions from Roberts and Lee.

How the fuck did you win?

Great question, Lee thought. He could point to Sarzonian grit and determination, which saw Sarzonian teams win championships in nearly every sport they've competed in. Of the well recognised major sports, only an ice hockey title, be it an old Don Cherry Cup or the more recent World Cup of Hockey eluded the Stars.

He could point to the actual play of his team if he even understood anything about what he was watching. Unfortunately for him, the only thing he really could have understood was that it was the team in navy that was celebrating in front of a silent crowd in Albion.

The simplest way to describe the scenario for Sarzonia is that they're the only team without a draw or a loss in Group 1. They were the only team to carry an unblemished record through the maximum four matches with deceptively tough fifth place Megistos up next. Lee knew Stars manager Katie Sampson would warn her team about trap matches. It was the Sarzonian way, after all. Especially when Sarzonia's final group stage match potentially could be for the group title against Ko-oren.

After a couple of moments to gather his thoughts, such as they were, he said the only thing that came to mind.

"How the fuck should I know?"

[Sylestone]

When Sylestone was drawn into the same group as United Civil Republic, or UCR, there were nervous gasps. After being one of the first to sign up to the tournament and being straight in to put a host bid up, the UCR looked strong and confident of their chances. Now, however, it seems as though they weren't all they lived up for. After Matchday Four, they are at the bottom of the table with just four points. And Sylestone now? At the top! They defeated UCR by a whopping 126 points, 175-49. It was the only mismatch in the entire group, as Alice Bay defeated a determined Mathuvan Union side by only 18 points and Kelssek beat HUElavia by a solid 13. Sylestone? They scored 26 6-pointers and 19 behinds. UCR? Seeven of each. UCR were never in the game. With Sylestone up 51-10 after the first quarter, UCR fought back by actually tying the second quarter 21-21. The third quarter, once again, Sylestone (In particular Brian Cleavey) took to the UCR players, winning it 61-6. At the end of it, the UCR players were so dejected some even looked on the verge of tears. 133-37 isn't very good, especially if you're the team with just 37 points. The fourth quarter wasn't much better, Sylestone again winning, this time 42-12. Sylestone left the field at Batson Island waiting eagerly on the result from Stoney Lane to see whether they had progressed. Fortunately for them, luck was on their side as Kelssek won by a narrow margin, not nearly big enough to leapfrog into first place.

Hotel after the game (Cory Brocklehurst and Jack Duddle, hotel room):
Cory: I think we might actually have a chance at this tournament! First-ever for Sylestone!
Jack: Well, you never know. We shouldn't probably get our hopes up too soon.
Cory: True that, but I'm still confident though.
Jack: So am I.
Cory: I'm worried about Sarzonia. They are also unbeaten, like us.
Jack: They look good. They're probably our equals.
Cory: That sounds about correct. They beat Ko-oren and Baggieland, who also look good.
Jack: What about TJUN-ia?
Cory: TJUN-ia seem alright, but Kelssek beat them comfortably. We'll have to work hard, but I don't think they're quite our level.
Jack: Just play them like they're Sarzonia and we'll be fine.
Cory: I hope.

[Baggieland]

Cut off matchday 4.

[Baggieland]

Matchday 5.

Group 1.

Sarzonia 16.16.112 def. Megistos 13.8.86
United Civil States 6.8.44 def. by Baggieland 10.27.87
The Jovannic 21.10.136 def. Halaethaed Commune 8.12.60

*                         Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Sarzonia                 5    5  0  0  739 346 +393  20
2 Ko-oren                  4    3  0  1  553 239 +314  12
3 Baggieland               4    3  0  1  408 254 +154  12
4 United Civil States      4    1  1  2  378 405 −27    6
5 Megistos                 4    1  0  3  358 355  +3    4
6 The Jovannic             4    1  0  3  266 632 −366   4
7 Halaethaed Commune       5    0  1  4  231 702 −471   2

[Baggieland]

Matchday 5.

Group 2.

United Civil Republic 4.2.26 def. by HUElavia 17.28.130
Mathuvan Union 4.4.28 def. by Sylestone 20.23.143
TJUN-ia 29.17.191 def. Alice Bay 7.5.47

*                           Pld   W  D  L   PF  PA  PD  Pts 
1 Sylestone                  4    4  0  0  535 238 +297  16
2 TJUN-ia                    4    3  0  1  596 241 +355  12
3 Kelssek                    4    3  0  1  452 305 +147  12
4 HUElavia                   4    2  0  2  425 314 +111   8
5 Mathuvan Union             4    1  0  3  305 519 −214   4
6 Alice Bay                  5    1  0  4  349 637 −288   4
7 United Civil Republic      5    1  0  4  303 711 −408   4

[Ko-oren]

Culludie looked around, ball in hand. He spotted Ondarrie around the goal circle - could he make the kick? In a split second, he decided against it. Someone closer by might be an option, but he was running out of time. Limbie and Barje were further up the field, but that was still a decent distance. Handball to Llewchrhes was always an option, but Culludie didn't make it here with playing it safe all the time. He dropped the ball to his boot, and completed it some 20 metres to Limbie. The umpire blew his whistle, it was a mark. As time ran out, Limbie launched it towards the goalposts, and for a moment the ball looked to sway towards the middle posts - before it bent outwards again, for only a behind.

Not that anything rided on the goal - it was only the Eagles' 140th point where they had left their opponents on 62. The results were there, and Ko-oren was comfortably heading towards the end of the group stage.

As the final siren rang out across the Archway on Cunningham Island, the sound reverberating off the stands and quickly losing volume over the vast shoreline, both teams walked off. The Eagles separate from Megistos' XVIII, and as more or less expected, the Mawr separate from the West Strand Ridingers. The national team rarely convenes, and in normal league play, the only time the Mawr and the Wessars (WSR'ers) meet, is during the final.

It wasn't ever mentioned as a problem - but it was obvious. It was almost like three teams marched towards the dressing rooms: 18 Megistos players, and two separate teams of about 6-7 players each, who just happened to wear the same colour - brown - jersey, but otherwise kept their distance. It could still turn out to be a major problem going forward, in the knockouts, among teams that were, well, actual units.

"Hey, Limbie, you ever seen a ground that looks like it could be in the Wessar? Couple of bleachers, looking out over the ocean..."

"Haven't really noticed it until now."

"But you can't deny it's almost the same, right? Right?"

"I suppose you could see it that way."

"Makes me nostalgic. Never played finals footie, so never played outside of the Wessar. I visited Idyllwild once, crossing the mountains, it's like a different world out there! Homesick within a day," Culludie said, with a very mistaken sense of pride.

"How do you handle this then?"

"An out-of-body experience, really. Never seen anything like it. Just glad to be here, but can't wait to go back, actually. I'm an Eaglebury player, I know the southern Wessar, that's where I belong."

"Well, I'm from the 'Nowra. And it's not as romantic as you think. It's great if you want to be in a tiny town, and don't get me wrong, I love it there... but it's not the only thing out there. If you get the opportunity, do look over the mountain. Look across the sea. Visit those places. This game gives you that opportunity, don't waste it. Don't be just another generation, living in the same town, never seeing that anything could even be a little different from what you're used..."

[The Jovannic]

As the players walked onto the pitch, the first reaction from a normal Jovannic supporter would be "Who are they?" Instead of some player actually known to the world, The Jovannic have put in youngsters and amateurs to play this Aussie rules tournament. But it seems to have payed off. The players have gotten experienced a their play is solid. They have even destroyed the Halaethaed Commune with some sick plays! People are learning to enjoy this team's indirect style of play, and support for this sport in The Jovannic has grown substantially. We will wish the youngsters good luck in their upcoming matches. Their speed is their best asset, they must use it to their fullest extent.

[Sarzonia]

Whether it's by close margins or by wide disparities, the Sarzonian national Aussie Rules Football team are sitting in an enviable position in the inaugural Aussie Rules World Cup.

The Stars improved to 5-0-0 after a close 112-86 victory over Megistos, getting a bunch of players who had to learn the sport on the fly within sniffing distance of the group title with two more matchdays remaining. The next match is against the other team that could threaten Sarzonia for the Group 1 title in Ko-oren. Like Ko-oren, host nation Baggieland are also 3-0-1, but only the Ko-orenites are within the same area code as the Stars in overall point differential.

The Stars have scored 739 points through five matches, with only Group 2 power TJUN-ia's 596 even within hailing distance. Sarzonia's 346 points conceded rank these Stars seventh out of the 14 teams competing in the World Cup, but Sarzonia are still comfortably ahead of the rest of the field in overall point differential with a margin of plus-393. TJUN-ia's plus-355 margin in Group 2 is second best.

Stars manager Katie Sampson quickly brushed aside talk of potential quarterfinals opponents, saying the team were focused exclusively on Ko-oren. A victory or a draw would wrap up the group title for the Stars, but Sampson also shrugged that aside.

"We have to win this match against Ko-oren," she said. "They're going to be the strongest team we've faced thus far besides Baggieland and we're going to have to be disciplined against them."

When a reporter pointed out that a draw would also do the trick of clinching the group title, Sampson scowled.

"We don't play for draws," she said. "That's not the Sarzonian way."

If the Stars drew Ko-oren, their best possible finish would be 4-1-1 whereas the Stars would carry a 5-1-0 mark into the knockout rounds. A Ko-orenite victory over Sarzonia would then cause the group title to be decided by which team has the best goal differential with both Ko-oren and Baggieland at 3-0-1 records. The head-to-head tiebreaker is the third tiebreakter to be used in deciding who advances, who goes home, or who has the better knockout round seeding.

Meanwhile, in a bar somewhere, Joseph Lee was getting used to foreigners coming up and asking him how the fuck the Stars managed to keep winning games when Lee himself didn't know the difference between a behind and a six-pointer. He barely learned of the four 20-minute quarters.

The only thing he knew for certain is seeing the players in navy and silver away kits or the white with navy trim home kits celebrating when the official called full time whenever Sarzonia won a match. And thus far, he didn't see anything else.

[TJUN-ia]

After a relaxing bye-day on the island of Baggieland, the Jaguars returned to action at their usual stomping grounds. Copper's Field in Stoney lane has hosted 3 of TJUN-ia's 4 matches thus far and will host their final 2. Their opponents today were an Alice Bay side who managed to get their first win yesterday against the Mathuvan Union.

Alice Bay certainly tried their best, with 7 goals and 4 behinds, but once again the TJUN-ian numbers were simply staggering. 29 Goals and 17 behinds, with Steven Cox going 12.4. To put things into perspective since our opening day defeat to Kelssek, TJUN-ia has won by an aggregate scoreline of 532-104. TJUN-ia is not only winning games convincingly, their doing it by scoring points at a rate only Group 1 Sarzonia can say is better. For the 3rd time in a row, the final siren signalled "The Call".

The Jaguars are here to win it all,
For TJUN-ia, we'll play for all!
Our flag is raised, Orange and Blue,
And we all know just what to do!
We'll fight, fight, fight and we'll win, win, win
Until the flag is ours to win!
So come aboard and sing, sing, sing
FOR THE JAGUARS ARE HERE TO WIN!

Tomorrow is, quite possibly, our biggest match-up so far. The Sylestone Hawthorns currently sit at the top of the Group 2 ladder, 4-0, with us and Kelssek only behind by a game. Both TJUN-ia and Sylestone are probably through to the Quarterfinals already, but both sides want the honour of being declared one of the first two "Group Winners". No matter what happens, this game will certainly be an entertaining one. GO JAGS!

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SCHEDULE (Group 2)
MD1: vs Kelssek - Cooper’s Field, Stoney Lane (62,591) L 9.10.64 def. by 19.23.137 (6th)
MD2: vs United Civil Republic - Cooper’s Field, Stoney Lane (62,591) W 23.28.166 def. 2.9.21 (2nd)
MD3: vs Mathuvan Union - The Archway, Cunningham Island (19,026) W 26.19.175 def. 6.0.36 (1st)
MD4: BYE (3rd)
MD5: vs Alice Bay - Cooper’s Field, Stoney Lane (62,591) W 29.17.191 def. 7.5.47 (2nd)
MD6: vs Sylestone - Cooper’s Field, Stoney Lane (62,591)
MD7: vs HUElavia - Cooper’s Field, Stoney Lane (62,591)

[Sylestone]

Sylestone completed yet another dominating victory over a weak side, this time to move fair and square to the top of the table, four points clear of TJUN-ia and Kelssek. This time, Sylestone played a rather defensive game, especially in the first two quarters. Halfway, the score was 38-12. However, the third quarter provided an influx of points. Mathuvan Union scored 16, while Sylestone scored a whopping fifty. For a defensive game, that is a huge amount. But it was the final quarter that the Mathuvan Union really gave up. They scored nothing. Couldn't even get a single behind. At the other end, Sylestone, led by Cory Brocklehurst and Lachlan Fiedler, scored 35 more. The final score was a commanding one: 128-23. They now stand proud and alone at the top of Group 2, with progression assured. Whether they will grab hold of first place, join us tomorrow and find out!
Sylestone's next opponents are TJUN-ia, who are the main side Sylestone are fighting to grab top spot. A loss to them will see them drop to second on goal difference, or worse, depending on the result of Kelssek's game. Their final game is against Alice Bay, who haven't RPed, so they shouldn't be much harder, if not easier, than United Civil Republic or Mathuvan Union. Although Sylestone are the only Group 2 side qualified, TJUN-ia and Kelssek are most liekly to qualify in Matchday Six, even if Sylestone beats TJUN-ia. HUElavia are the other side that have RPed, but they are a win clear of the bottom three, so they should be able to make it, too.
In Group 1, Sarzonia has a record of 5-0-0, the only other unbeaten side in the competition. However, they have an upcoming thriller against Ko-oren, which shall seal their fate for the top spot. Though Ko-oren and Baggieland aren't officially qualified, they look to do so next round, both with 3-0-1 records. No one is yet eliminated, but that will probably change next Matchday. Until then, the Sylestoneans are training hard, knowing that TJUN-ia will be their hardest opponent, save the possibility of Kelssek.

See you tomorrow!