Aussie Rules World Cup 1. Everything thread

[Zwangzug]

Baggieland 8.17.65 def. Sylestone 6.22.58

We don't really know what's going on, but hopefully our umpires didn't use any baseball rules by mistake. Carry on!

[Baggieland]

Final.

Sarzonia vs Baggieland @ Albion.

[Baggieland]

The Daily Boing

Baggieland 8.17.65 def. Sylestone 6.22.58

Baggieland secured their place in the final of the inaugural Aussie Football World Cup with a victory of the slimmest margin yet seen in this tournament over previously undefeated Sylestone.

This game was as tight as it could have been right from the off until the final siren, whenever one team scored, the other team would go and kick a reply. It might have been a higher scoring game though, as both teams were guilty of some poor kicking in front of goal as the behinds outweighed the six-pointers.

The Throstles centre, Edwards, was in the wars again, as his arm that had given him trouble earlier in the campaign gave out again when he was bundled over by George Shipton. Edwards will now definitely miss the final, which is a huge disappointment to himself and a massive blow for Baggieland to lose their most influential player in the middle of the park.

As the final siren sounded, the Baggieland players jumped for joy and went to celebrate with their fans in the sold-out stadium, whereas the Sylestone players dropped to their knees. The final will now be played against Sarzonia, the only team to have beaten Baggieland so far, back at the home of Aussie Rules – Albion.

[Sarzonia]

It wasn't the dominant performance Ko-oren had when they dealt the Sarzonian national Aussie Rules Football team their first loss of the inaugural World Cup, but Katie Sampson and her charges will gladly take the result.

The Stars avenged their defeat to Ko-oren in their group stage finale with a close 110-86 victory and punched their tickets into the final. They will face the host nation Baggieland in the final after they dealt Sylestone their first loss of the World Cup, 65-58.

The results deprive some supporters of a match that looked like a foregone conclusion toward the end of the group stage, but it underscores the strength of Group 1 as both the Stars and the Throstles were group mates.

"We don't care about point differential at this stage," Sampson said in her post match press conference after the Stars earned their revenge against the Eagles. "They may have beaten us by a wider margin than we beat them, but we won the match with the higher stakes."

And now, the Stars will have to be wary of being on the other end of the revenge game. Sarzonia defeated Baggieland, sending the Aussie Rules football-crazed nation into mourning whilst most Sarzonians were scarcely aware that they won a match. For her part, Sampson said the team would not need additional motivation to play their next match.

"We're playing in a final for a chance to be the first champions of this competition," she said. "If winning a championship doesn't motivate you to play your hardest, you need to hang up your boots."

One more victory. One more chance to ask Stars supporters like Joseph Lee, "how the fuck did you win?" And possibly, a chance for Lee's usual response to be the last word of the tournament.

"How the fuck should I know?"

[Sylestone]

Baggieland 18.8.116 def. by Sarzonia 22.5.137

Sylestone umpires have to leave early so it was agreed that the game would be played earlier.

Congratulations Sarzonia!
I will get the rankings up soon on the discussion thread.

[Sarzonia]

Katie Sampson came into the inaugural Aussie Rules Football World Cup both without any pressure at all and with all the pressure in the world on her shoulders. On the one hand, Aussie Rules Football was a complete unknown to all but a small group of people. There was no national league, not even a semipro league. Universities in Sarzonia didn't sponsor the sport except for a few that played it at the club level.

On the other hand, Sampson felt a different weight. Other than coaches of women's teams, Schmidt was the first woman to coach a Sarzonian team that was predominantly male on the world stage. Sarzonia may use women's players among the men, and they were treated equally or the men who didn't were gone fast. But, aside from assistant managers, no woman ever called the shots for a men's team.

As she looked through her team's run through the inaugural World Cup, she recalled that her team had a hard fought victory over host nation Baggieland during the group stage. She was as aware as anyone that her team's victory registered with barely a ripple of curiosity in her native country, but it was the source of national mourning for Baggieland. Her Stars delivered the host nation's first defeat in a sport that might well be their national passion.

She warned her charges to expect Baggieland to come out firing, aiming to become the first-ever World Cup champions of this code of football. She warned the Stars that they were essentially playing an away match in front of a hostile crowd, and one that was far more knowledgeable about the sport than the small collection of Stars supporters who gathered in Albion to watch a Sarzonian team in a final.

When the match went final with Sarzonia earning a 137-116 triumph, many of the Sarzonians only began to cheer when they saw their navy-clad heroes begin to hug and pile onto each other in celebration. All they knew was that Sarzonia had won a championship. And, really, that's all the Sarzonians needed to understand.

For Sampson, her team's victory in a sport that was never even an afterthought in Sarzonia may not have the ramifications of, say Billie Jean King beating Bobby Riggs on the tennis court, but it sent a message regardless. Even in a country with a Black woman as the country's immediate past president and with her laying the foundation for the office of lieutenant president, a woman succeeding in a predominantly male field was still worth celebrating.

The scene at the stadium included a disbelieving Joseph Lee, who was interrupted in his reverie by a reporter who quizzed him again about the match. He could have talked about the two full-pointers in the fourth quarter that turned the tide in favour of the Stars. He could have talked about Sarzonia earning possession in four consecutive rucks to close out the Throstles.

Instead, he saw perhaps his last chance to use the reaction that would become his catch phrase because he was asked the same question yet again. He would have no way of knowing that Sarzonia would begin the early stages of setting up a professional league for this sport. He was aware that his being here for this improbable run to a championship would mean that he'd have to start learning the sport.

"How the fuck did you win, mate?"

Lee thought to himself for a moment, then smiled widely at his last chance to use that now-famous catchphrase.

"How the fuck should I know?"

[Baggieland]

The Daily Boing

Baggieland 18.8.116 def. by Sarzonia 22.5.137

So near, yet so far. Baggieland, a nation obsessed with the Australian code of football, was awarded host status and the entire country was confident of being crowned the first ever world champions. We made it all the way to the final, some expected nothing less, alas – only to be beaten at the final hurdle by Sarzonia.

The Sarzonians made no attempt to hide their deficiency in terms of knowledge of the game, but what they lacked in know-how they more than made up for with enthusiasm and a winning mentality. They were indeed worthy winners. Baggieland can still hold their heads high though, as being runners-up in a tournament where all the teams started off unranked and on an even playing field, is something they can be proud of. Wherever and whenever the next World Cup will be held – Baggieland has established itself as one of the powerhouses of the game – and one that the other teams in the tournament will not want to face.

Vinny Roberts had left the stadium and headed off to his favourite watering-hole to drown his sorrows.

Joseph
Hey mate, I guessed I’d find you here.

Vinny
Yeah, congratulations. You must be stoked.

Joseph
It was a great game, a worthy final to the tournament.

Vinny
So, what have you learnt about the game?

Joseph
I’m not sure, but after someone kicks a ball then someone else makes a clean catch – we get six points, right?

(Vinny face-palms).

Vinny
No mate, that’s called a ‘mark’ and it doesn’t get you any points!

Joseph
Oh, I see. Well, I’d like to thank all you Baggies for being wonderful hosts and you have a beautiful country here. I think I’ll stay for a couple more days to get in some of that beach life.

Vinny
Hey, come to my mum’s souvenir shop just around the corner. You can buy some crappy-tourist-trap souvenirs, then when you get home you can say to yourself “why the fuck did I buy that”?

(At the souvenir shop).

Vinny’s mum
Do you want the mini-statue of two throstles shagging each other, or the ‘I heart Baggieland’ t-shirt?

Joseph
How the fuck should I know?