Græntfjall Premier League team previewsAltendalur Last season:- League: 3rd
- Cup: 2nd Round
- International: IFCF Challengers’ Cup 2nd Preliminary Round
- MVP: Alexander Leonardsson
The Chessmen [and -women, although Altendalur has one of the more conservative fan bases in that regard] are standard bearers for western football, and hold just the tiniest chip on their collective shoulder about perceived slighting by Háttmark sports media who can’t read past ‘2nd’ on the results table. Just a tiny chip, about as tiny as the whale spine that mounts the gates over their home arena, the Florus Stadion.
Unlike some of the multi-sports clubs juggling multiple teams, trying to compete in ice hockey or handball alongside their footballing ambitions, Altendalur have a complete focus on football. Helping to sharpen that focus has been the investment of insurance giant Florus, with a purpose-built new arena and a stats team as they’ve become the first Græntfjaller side to engage with modern ‘soccermetric’ analysis. The team has a loyal fan base who, while not entirely happy with some of these changes, won’t complain so long as the team is competing for a top four spot or at least knocking some spots off the hated Háttmark sides.
Altendalur were the most active side in the recent transfer window and can now field more foreign players than any other Græntfjaller side. They might not exactly be household names, but it’s a sign of a desire not to rest on the laurels of a season in which they finished a point off second place. The biggest transfer move, however, is arguably their failure to hold on to national team goalkeeper Alexander Leonardsson, who has instantly acquired the status of a Judas Iscariot for skipping off to Gunzlach. Working class and traditional, Altendalur ultras will not easily forgive and definitely never forget such betrayal.
Led by Auno Laurinsson, who – still in his 40s and, perhaps more importantly, not part of the Gunzlach–Steinaux rivalry – has been tipped as a future NT manager, for all their innovations and transfers the team is likely to put out a fairly traditional 4–4–2. Leonardsson’s not inconsiderable absence will be felt, but the team has quality players including NT revelations left wing-back Ásgautur Johannesson and right wing Andrin Franklínsson. Their aim will be to challenge for the top spot, or at very least to break up the Háttmark duopoly on the top two.
Manager: Auno Laurinsson
Squad:- Goalkeepers: Thomas Quinnipag [ZWZ], Riccardo Ludvigsson, Rebecca Ludvigsdóttir
- Defenders: Ásgautur Johannesson, Alessia Akselsdóttir, Norðmann Bertisson, Thorn Tristram [NPH], Tom Ernestisson, Mario Haraldsson, Kimo Arhippasson, Heba Þjálfisdóttir
- Midfielders: Hanna Nicosdóttir, Ryan Lippe-Berg [ZWZ], Tyler Prentice [KSK], Andrin Franklínsson, Christian Berentsson, Benedikt Nilsson
- Forwards: Joen Aðalmundursson, Darren Hunt [FVA], Lilly Wolfgangsdóttir, Poul Simonsson
Estdal Last season:- League: 10th
- Cup: 2nd Round
- International: N/A
- MVP: Justiina Dannysdóttir
Estdal enter the season as the lowest ranked side not to have been relegated, and have just lost by far their best player, no. 10 forward Justiina Dannysdóttir, who’s joined Steinaux to pursue loftier ambitions that
just avoiding relegation. They have no national team players, no international players. No hope? Enter Cayo Punta, maverick Farf manager who has promised to shake things up with an attacking philosophy and a more energetic touchline presence than is typical among Græntfjall’s rather staid managers.
One of the few entries in the column of Estdal’s positives is the deep pockets of main sponsor, Skoðar Optik, an industrial conglomerate chiefly notable for manufacturing precision glass instruments. In an act of either shrewd investment or utterly ridiculous optimism, they’re investing to modernize the team’s arena – for the duration of the season, the Ducks will play at the home ground of nearby Oost-Hartburg, whose own relegation fears could mean one stadium plays host to twice the tears come season’s end. The team also has a well-regarded youth complex and more than half the squad are under the age of 24.
Money in the bank and antics on the sideline are all very well, but will it translate to any success on the field? Fabian Lukasson will need to step up – with Justiina Dannysdóttir gone, he’ll need to direct play from an attacking midfield position. Speed is the team’s strength, with wingers Else Sofussdóttir Robin Harrysson tearing up and down the field. Defensively, they look a bit suspect. Álfar Brunosson made some amazing saves last season, and also some hilarious blunders. Their best bet is going to be trying to outscore the opposition quickly before the other team notices they’re just not very good.
Manager: Cayo Punta [FFD]
Squad:- Goalkeepers: Álfar Brunosson, Sumarlína Svangeirsdóttir, Stig Michaelsson
- Defenders: Trine Matheosdóttir, Spartakus Markusson, Johan Hervinsson, Jalmari Lukasson, Keld Juliansson, Anders Fabiansson, Eduard Endosson
- Midfielders: Ragierdh Floriansdóttir, Erna Sunesdóttir, Signe Benidiktsdóttir, Hartvig Arthursson, Fabian Lukasson, Sveinbjörn Ogmundsson, Klængur Stefansson
- Forwards: Nikolai Jalmarisson, Rato Guðmannsson, Robin Harrysson, Else Sofussdóttir, Sigrid Fabiansdóttir
Fliserboding Last season:- League: 1st [Division 1]
- Cup: 1st Round
- International: IFCF Liga B Champions Trophy 3rd Preliminary Round
- MVP: Jade Miansdóttir
Fliserboding were so vastly superior in Division 1 this season that it makes it a little difficult to tell how they’ll adapt to the Premier League. The club has deep roots in the southwest, with a small but passionately loyal fan base who insist on throwing cabbages onto the field before games; attempts by sponsor Garðabank, the commercial banking arm of financial services conglomerate Garðasteig, to modernize the club’s image by banning the practice resulted in the company’s headquarters having 50,000 cabbages dumped in the lobby by irate fans. They have since quietly scaled back the policy, and bought a bunch of air freshener.
Playing at the Frei Stadion, a small but suitably modern multi-sport arena chiefly famous (aside from the terrible smell of rotting cabbage) for hosting the first ever sub-4 minute mile run by a Græntfjaller runner. A small plaque commemorates the event, alongside a much larger one celebrating last season’s promotion. They are the only southwestern team in the Premier League, however, and with Þingsnitz languishing in Division 1, their traditional derby is for the moment purely a notional affair.
The Locusts have some good players. Christian Einvarðursson is an experienced goal-keeper, Fabian Nilsson a well-travelled journeyman on his fourth club, Viktor Leonardsson a reliable goal scorer. But the undoubted sensation of the team is midfielder Sara Kristoffersdóttir, who at just 16 earned a national team call-up. It didn’t go entirely successfully – her appearances off the bench were limited, and though her spectacular Goal of the Tournament contender at the Olympics will live long in the memory, her impact otherwise was pretty limited. All the better for Fliserboding, fans mutter, who can probably enjoy her undivided attention for another year or two before a repeat call-up comes.
Kristoffersdóttir can play anywhere, but her preferred position is just in front of a reliable (and, uniquely among GPL teams, all-female) midfield 4 as the chief weapon in a 3 –4–1–2 formation.
Manager: Vidar Samuelesson
Squad:- Goalkeepers: Christian Einvarðursson, Ingibjorg Tuesdóttir, Kellý Urbansdóttir
- Defenders: Ingeborg Adamsdóttir, Árnína Bensdóttir, Magnþór Dannysson, Fabian Nilsson, Muni Martinsson, Ben Dalmarsson
- Midfielders: Sara Kristoffersdóttir, Sara Aðalsteinnsdóttir, Jade Miansdóttir, Rebecca Attesdóttir, Raja Arthursdóttir, Göpf Lyngarsson, Kristo Matteosson, Ebba Thorbjørnsdóttir, Sigurbára Erwinsdóttir
- Forwards: Ketilbjörg Mathiassdóttir, Viktor Leonardsson, Fie Philipsdóttir, Clemens Akusson, Fabio Freddysson
Folte Last season:- League: 6th
- Cup: 1st Round
- International: N/A
- MVP: Stina Ebbesdóttir
Dramatic managerial changes were rare in Græntfjaller football, probably because of the lack of stakes in the absence of international competition. With the difference between 4th and a formerly respectable 6th now yawning IFCF-wide, though, Folte gave the boot to Michael Samuelesson and put out the call for an international manager. The process took longer than expected and they ended up being scooped by Molding to become the first club to hire a foreign manager in GPL history, but they got their man all the same, the 41-year old Quang from South Newlandia.
It may be that fear of mid-table mediocrity that has shaken things up, because the Striders were not a bad team last season. They won more than they lost, scored more than they conceded, and ended up furnishing half of the national team’s defensive line, through Ralf Álfarsson and Emeli Vilbertsdóttir. David Jimsson also got a call-up but looked less comfortable at international level and was quietly dropped by the time World Cup qualifying rolled around; Lara Auðunsdóttir excelled for the women’s Olympic team and might make the full national team in time.
The OptiFone Arena is well attended, the team has numerous strong players, and their 5–3–2 system, while outwardly conservative, made good use of their fast wing-backs to exploit the counter-attack against bigger, slower teams. They’re fit and strong. They even have one of the more distinctive kits among a sea of rather less competent offerings
that I slaved over for hours in MS Paint so stfu. And yet their record suggests performances slightly less than the sum of their parts. They lack a singular inspirational dynamo to spark off. They’re basically as bland as the answer to “who are the sixth best team in Græntfjall?” would suggest.
Manager: Marius Quang [SNL]
Squad:- Goalkeepers: Arve Timsson, Emmely Aaronsdóttir, Valentin Raphaelsson
- Defenders: Gregor Olofsson, Arnold Tronsson, Ralf Álfarsson, Emeli Vilbertsdóttir, Friedolin Leonardsson, Gestur Torsteinsson, Stefan Jokulsson, Helene Feykirsdóttir
- Midfielders: David Jimsson, Samuel Arthursson, Stina Ebbesdóttir, Amelia Ibsdóttir, Johanna Álvgeirsdóttir, Kolbjörg Árgeirsdóttir, Linda Federicosdóttir
- Forwards: Fredrik Aaronsson, Lara Auðunsdóttir, Herfinnur Fabiansson, Maria Unndórsdóttir
Gunzlach Last season:- League: 1st
- Cup: 1st Round
- International: IFCF Champions’ League Extra Preliminary Round; IFCF Challengers’ Cup Second Preliminary Round; Copa de Campeones Preliminary Round
- MVP: Jason Þórhallursson
Gunzlach are a team of superlatives. They are the most expensive, most high profile, most seethingly hated team in the country, outside one little north Háttmark suburb, where they are, quite simply, the best. Amply funded by gauche internet giant Qardinal (god, even the name of their
sponsor is annoying), Gunzlach Multi Sports Club have risen from their origins as a working class, fan-owned team of the city’s building trade, to become the closest thing to a footballing one-eyed-man in a country of, relatively speaking, the blind.
The innovative strategy of actually paying players rather than leaning on fond memories of youth club table tennis tournaments to retain prospects has yielded some outstanding results, with Josef Christiansson, Gabríel Svennsson, and Lana Mensdóttir among those lovingly developed by rival clubs then plucked when ripe by Gunzlach scouts. Ironically, then, Jason Þórhallursson, the club’s supreme talent, striker, golden boot winner, and virtual national hero following his Baptism of Fire hat-trick, actually
is a home-grown talent, having been brought up in council housing literally within the shadow of the old club ground.
Of course, the team doesn’t play there any more. They now boast the Grand National Arena as their own, a stadium that dwarfs any other on the domestic circuit. And, with their latest domestic acquisition – NT goalkeeper Alexander Leonardsson – on board, they’ve begun filling it with foreign talent, too.
Gunzlach’s ambitions are pretty straightforward. Win, again. Do slightly better than the utter drubbings they experienced in their first taste of IFCF football. Acquire more talent, until every Græntfjaller footballer of note is playing in the red-white-and-black. And, failing all of that, just beat the shit out of Steinaux, and the Gunners will undoubtedly go home happy.
Manager: Lars Hartmannsson
Squad:- Goalkeepers: Alexander Leonardsson, Dagur Mímirsson, Florentina Kjartansdóttir
- Defenders: Johannes Gilgiansson, Else Svennsdóttir, Matthias Parmesson, Josef Christiansson, Chris Fornisson, Elberg Jimsson, Arinbjörg Björnsdóttir, Mjalldís Bóassdóttir
- Midfielders: Lana Mensdóttir, Jiraff Wang [JOV], Antoni Savushnikov [SVJ], Jaida Bissette [HAN], Gabríel Svennsson, Grímólfur Viktorsson, Lukas Øivindsson, Marie Lennartsdóttir
- Forwards: Jason Þórhallursson, Ebbe Leosson, Bianca Henrýsdóttir, Momoko Wakabayashi [HIN]
Hofvinger Last season:- League: 4th
- Cup: QF
- International: IFCF Challengers’ Cup Extra Preliminary Round
- MVP: Lyngar Rögnvaldursson
Hofvinger are the most northerly club playing in the GPL, and bring a certain chilly disposition with them as a result. The winds howling around the TQG Langvöllur Arena, the baying wolf calls of the Northern Wolf ultras, and the dense banks of fog typically rolling in from the sea all make Hofvinger just about the least hospitable hosts in the GPL. They travel less well, claiming to dislike warm southern climes, which given mainland Græntfjall’s frigid climate really speaks as much to their inflexibility as anything.
All of which is perhaps just slightly more interesting than the team itself? The introduction of IFCF football to Græntfjall meant something; in Hofvinger’s case, it meant they now had everyone else snapping at their heels. Perhaps typically of a club led by defensively minded Noel Völundursson, their biggest moves in the transfer market were to pick up a new goalkeeper and bring in a defender on loan, completing the trifecta with the late snapping up of defensive midfielder Ketilbjörg Aunosdóttir. By contrast, Lyngar Rögnvaldursson cutting a long figure atop a 4–2–3–1 formation, receives little in the way of offensive support. Aunosdóttir, who tried to find an international team with no takers during the last transfer window, joins on a one-year contract to play alongside Hæming Tronsson and will probably leave – but if Hofvinger can get a good year out of her, it might be worth it.
Their ambitions aren’t title chasing as they just don’t have the offensive ammunition to compete with Gunzlach and Steinaux. Besides, deigning to rough it with the Háttmark sides would offend their icy northern sensibilities. But they received a huge TV ratings boost from their IFCF participation despite being eliminated at literally the first opportunity, and will want to qualify again to keep that money flowing. Beyond that, they’ll want to defend their arena’s reputation as a fortress and freeze, or just bore, any unwary visitors to death.
Manager: Noel Völundursson
Squad:- Goalkeepers: Patrik Thörnqvist [FFD], Livia Bergmundursdóttir, Frederikke Guttisdóttir
- Defenders: Per Marcsson, Zóphonías Jarlsson, Anaïs Mórisdóttir, Henning Svarthus [SVJ], Anne Davidsdóttir, Casper Josefsson, Marcel Úlftýrsson, Nick Benidiktsson, Elsa Simonsdóttir
- Midfielders: Hæming Tronsson, David Marcsson, Simone Håvardsson, Valtter Marvinsson, Walo Constantinsson, Ketilbjörg Aunosdóttir, Jørn Martinsson, Dario Þórormursson
- Forwards: Lyngar Rögnvaldursson, Mæja Allansdóttir, Elis Flemmingsson, Tue Guðlaugursson, Jori Kjellsson
Korsbach Last season:- League: 8th
- Cup: 1st Round
- International: N/A
- MVP: Ketilbjörg Aunosdóttir
The Sabres are something of the also-rans of Háttmark football. Not as glamorous or successful as Gunzlach or Steinaux, they nonetheless have a large following in the capital, collectively gathering around to poke them with a stick and urge them to
just do something. Instead, Rakel Alvinsdóttir continued to pursue highly defensive tactics last season, which minimized their losses to the stronger teams but left them wallowing in that dead zone mid-table, with no danger of IFCF qualification. That was enough for their best player, defensive midfielder Ketilbjörg Aunosdóttir, to demand a transfer – and when, slightly embarrassingly for her, no offers came, a release.
Noah Urbansson looks to be a worthy replacement for Aunosdóttir at the heart of the 4–2–3–1 formation Alvinsdóttir rigidly sticks to. The team is fairly young, so there’s still time for them to develop more solid football skills, but last season they were heavily dependent on possession, fitness, and strength, to numb opposition defenses and break them on the counter. They don’t have many options beyond wing–cross–header, though that system has worked well enough for the national team, of which they currently provide no members but have a couple of young talents loitering around the edges.
Korsbach definitely need something to shake them out of their slumber, and rumors that Seltjstein, the auto manufacturer, are losing patience with their investment spiralled after the sponsors refused to consider redevelopment of the Sanktjakobvöllur arena. Either they go the way of their north-of-the-river betters – who barely consider them the same species, let alone rivals – and seriously invest in some more quality, or they will probably slide into relegation danger.
Manager: Rakel Alvinsdóttir
Squad:- Goalkeepers: Michael Matheosson, Vöggur Henrýsson, Kristberg Hafrsson
- Defenders: Svangeir Jarfisson, Christian Asvardsson, Eir Bjarnfinnursdóttir, Verneri Sandrosson, Ørjan Vífillsson, Raphael Leonhardsson, Svan Viktorsson
- Midfielders: Freyja Sigurbergursdóttir, Bodil Alexandersdóttir, Katri Simonsdóttir, Noah Urbansson, Sigtryggur Hylursson, Fardhe Aapelisson, Gustav Eduardsson
- Forwards: Margaux Torkildsdóttir, Greta Fólkisdóttir, Adrian Ísaksson, Fredrik Raunisson, Melina Nicosdóttir
Maigburg Last season:- League: 2nd [Division 1]
- Cup: Round of 16
- International: IFCF Liga B Champions Trophy Second Preliminary Round
- MVP: Natasja Hólmarsdóttir
Maigburg are a team that seems ready made for GPL football, making it surprising this is their first ever trip up to the top flight. A large multi-sports club, they bring the VG Arena, one of the larger stadiums in the country, a loyal fan base who support the Catbears with song and dance, costume and facepainting, and a squad of serviceable players, several of whom wealthier clubs may be watching with interest this season. That’s no guarantee they’ll stay up. Rather humiliatingly, their own sponsors, gambling site Grubby Hands, currently have a prominently listed offer taking advantage of their long odds of avoiding relegation displayed on their home website.
Bjarnveig Lyngarsdóttir oversaw an exciting Division 1 campaign last season that saw them take advantage of late collapse of favorites to go up, Þingsnitz, leapfrogging them and winning all four of their last games to rapturous reception from the Catbear Crowd. Less fortunately, they lost star forward Eiríka Jonathansdóttir to a knee injury that will force her to miss the entire season, and could well end her career. The heartbreaking scenes of her grimacing a smile while hobbling around on crutches during the promotion celebration rally will cast a shadow over this season regardless of results.
With her gone, a more defensive formation may be called for, switching from 4–4–2 to 4–2–3–1 in the absence of a genuine second striker. The Rafaelsson twins, not to be confused with the Raphaelsson twins, are hares up and down the wings, while Natasja Hólmarsdóttir is an exciting young talent in central midfield who has drawn favorable comparisons Amanda Guttisdóttir, except unlike Amanda she actually scores the occasional goal. She’ll need to score more than occasionally if Maigburg are to stay up, but if they manage it, it’ll be the feel-good story of the season. Except, presumably, for whomever is relegated in their place.
Manager: Bjarnveig Lyngarsdóttir
Squad:- Goalkeepers: Elis Elisson, Harry Benediktsson, Matthía Kolskeggursdóttir
- Defenders: Ernst Mathiasson, Wilhelmina Audunsdóttir, Paulina Philipsdóttir, Reijo Chrisson, Móri Ísidórsson, Benjamin Sebastiansson, Ernst Ejnarsson
- Midfielders: Móeiður Oliversdóttir, Natasja Hólmarsdóttir, Waltteri Kamilusson, Svanhólm Rafaelsson, Florin Vincentsson, Stefan Rafaelsson, Thorfinna Thorleifsdóttir, Leonard Nicholasson, Skíði Erlingsson
- Forwards: Josefine Benjaminsdóttir, Adam Petrisson, Stella Thomassdóttir
Molding Last season:- League: 7th
- Cup: 1st Round
- International: N/A
- MVP: Vilbjörn Hjörleifursson
50-year old Xander Augustine joined Molding as the first foreign manager in GPL history during the off-season. He inherits a side stacked with defensive talent, including regular NT center back Vilbjörn Hjörleifursson and reserve full-back Karoline Vernerisdóttir, but without the strength in offensive depth to perfectly suit his attacking vision for the club.
The Gold Shrews are one of the oldest clubs in Háttmark, with a celebrated history and more titles than other side. Yet last season they finished a tame 7th, were rarely mentioned in the same breath as Gunzlach and Steinaux, and had their sponsorship deal with Market-Alliance terminated following poor attendance at the Spajoküm Arena, with fans complaining about poor quality refreshments and amenities. Molding is a club creaking at the seams, and the weight of history doesn’t so much seem to be pulling it along, as pulling it down. A new sponsorship deal with builders’ merchants New Home Supplies seemed an unfortunately apt choice for a club in dire need of refurbishment.
A GPL without Molding is unimaginable. And there’s probably no need to imagine that, yet. Augustine may or may not succeed in livening up the team’s pace of play, but there’s enough quality in the starting XI to ensure they’ll get some wins and stay up. Equally hard, though, is imagining them progressing beyond the mid-table towards IFCF places or even reclaiming some of their old glories. That well-stocked trophy cabinet is likely to stay dusty for the foreseeable future.
Manager: Xander Augustine [CMT]
Squad:- Goalkeepers: Kauko Jorgesson, Christian Fabiosson, Reidar Mathiasson
- Defenders: Vilbjörn Hjörleifursson, Karoline Vernerisdóttir, Vita Benonýsdóttir, Mielikki Marsdóttir, Ørjan Jeffsson, Fredrik Thorleifsson, Viðar Adriansson, Mathias Eltonsson, Ulfar Davidsson
- Midfielders: Karli Eljasson, Matti Eyðolvursson, Emilio Rafaelsson, Dögg Ymirsdóttir, Damjan Kjartansson, Joonatan Josefsson, Anica Elissdóttir
- Forwards: Folke Mikaelsson, Emil Theosson, Viktoria Öndesdóttir, Hanne Heikkisdóttir, Adam Ivarsson
Mühlrich Last season:- League: 5th
- Cup: 2nd Round
- International: N/A
- MVP: Philip Börkursson
Mühlrich turned out a team featuring six women in the starting XI on the final day of last season. For one of the most conservative clubs in the country, it was an historic moment; one wonders what club chairman Ingvald Hróbjartursson, watching from his box in the Laxenvöllur, thought; his had been the lone vote against permitting female players to first enter the league. Extending a contract to young Eastfield Lodge goalkeeper Zaahid Jeffery seemed almost an act of contrition for the more unfortunate fringes of the Turtle Ultras; at the very least, it made little sense given the outstanding play of Philip Börkursson and presence of more-than-capable Ásdís Hjalmarsdóttir on the bench.
Other foreign signings, bringing in Richard Armada after Love Nilsson went goalless through last season, and offering a loan to Stanimir Kowić as André Raphaelsson moves from a 5–4–1 to a more conventional 4–4–2, made more sense. As did paying out of pocket to retain the services of versatile midfielder Álfar Ásvaldursson, whose contract had expired and whom Steinaux made no secret of pursuing.
The Turtles put together a competent, unflashy season. It was unfortunate that that supposedly historic XI ended up being the ones whose defeat cost them a place in the IFCF. Þorláband, the insurance company, renewed their sponsorship. Season tickets continued to sell out and if the Turtle Ultras remained the rowdiest of fans, at least they remained fans. All of which can’t disguise that Mühlrich have a serious put-up-or-shut-up situation in front of them. They lead the pack of teams chasing IFCF places, and they also lead the pack of teams otherwise destined to swim around the middle of one of the lowest ranked leagues on the planets. One thing that would be a goal – one goal, any goal – from their star striker. Preferably more.
Manager: André Raphaelsson
Squad:- Goalkeepers: Philip Börkursson, Zaahid Jeffery [EFL], Ásdís Hjalmarsdóttir
- Defenders: Emma Kiliansdóttir, Stanimir Kowić [ZRH], Michelle Matteosdóttir, Aríel Mathiassdóttir, Leni Sigbergursdóttir, Naomi Hagalínsdóttir, Arinbjörn Markusson
- Midfielders: Guðmann Arentsson, Anja Fardhesdóttir, Álfar Ásvaldursson, Viktor Lucasson, Robin Johannesson, Linnéa Jonassdóttir, Valentin Runesson, Josephine Leonhardsdóttir, Benno Gormursson
- Forwards: Love Nilsson, Richard Armada [MBT], Hallgeir Noelsson, Åshild Luissdóttir
Oost-Hartburg Last season:- League: 9th
- Cup: Semi-finals
- International: N/A
- MVP: Dan Antoninsson
During the off-season, Oost-Hartburg’s beloved mascot of many years, Alyx the Cat, died. It was not close to the worst loss the club would suffer. The team that led the league in scoring yet finished 9th lost the two players most responsible for those goals, striker Dan Antoninsson and left midfielder Matthias Raphaelsson, and were left facing a yawning chasm in their place. Matthias’s twin brother Tragott remains on the right but is not close to his equal, and older brother Astrad is unlikely to even make the match day team. Though four of the team have won some representative selection for either national or Olympic sides, there’s no question that Oost-Hartburg have a huge uphill battle just to avoid relegation.
Sharing their arena this season with Estdal who face a similar plight in the aftermath of Justiina Dannysdóttir’s departure, the PR-1070 Platz could be the site of some rather grim football this season. Not that Oost-Hartburg lack for talent. Kalle Bjørnsson has made his name as the first choice defensive midfield substitute for the national team, but domestically he’s shown a wider range of skills in the center, while Helge Persson is likely to become a national team center back in time. But Dan and Matthias accounted over half of the goals last season directly or indirectly, and it’s difficult to see the likes of Flemming Emiliosson or Auðbjörg Bjørnsdóttir filling that gap.
The Ospreys also face financial difficulties (for which reason they had to let both talents go). Former sponsors Jörlein were shuttered by regulators, and a hastily scrambled deal with credit union Æðífjöðætz has yielded diminished funds (because none of their customers can even spell their fucking name). So there’ll be no late shopping spree: just a hard graft to stay up. Even then, young talents Laurin Asbjørnsson and Elektra Lúthersdóttir might end the season returning the calls of some of those interested clubs prowling around with teeth – and wallets – bared.
Manager: Roosa Aslesdóttir
Squad:- Goalkeepers: Nicholas Siriusson, Ubbi Geirröðursson, Christoffer Rodleivursson
- Defenders: Helge Persson, Elektra Lúthersdóttir, Michaela Steinvarðursdóttir, Emmy Kársdóttir, Laurin Asbjørnsson, Henrý Mikaelsson, Astrad Raphaelsson
- Midfielders: Pia Karlsdóttir, Kalle Bjørnsson, Þórhalla Farmansdóttir, Flemming Emiliosson, Tragott Raphaelsson, Arsi Marcsson
- Forwards: Marcus Linusson, Sigurbjört Tuomassdóttir, Simone Leonhardsdóttir, Ían Jónasson, Auðbjörg Bjørnsdóttir, Kaija Hnefillsdóttir, Adeline Benediktsdóttir
Steinaux Last season:- League: 2nd
- Cup: 2nd Round
- International: IFCF Challengers’ Cup Second Round
- MVP: Bríana Noahsdóttir
Never knowingly boring, Steinaux have had to come up with new and interesting ways to be hated, with Gunzlach absorbing so much of the scorn for their big-spending, Háttmark-centric ways. While the Gunners took the cliché approach of just winning, the Sausages have adopted a more direct route to opprobrium by partnering up with fossil fuels multinational Überolía and announcing plans for a huge new stadium to rival the Grand National Arena, tearing down the historic old Sighof, on the very same day that an Überolía tanker ran aground in Græntfjaller Multinesia. Oops.
So understandably, they’d rather talk about things on the pitch. Steinaux have a strong team, supplemented by Grearish full-back Jasmine Gardener and Squornshelan left winger Helder Geurkink, who will fill in for the injured Hlégestur Snæþórsson and then likely play alongside him in an asymmetric formation once he returns. The real prize is domestic talent Justiina Dannysdóttir, brought in to partner Petter Erlingsson (in the rare moments he’s not doing TV press, it turns out he’s actually pretty good with a ball at his feet, too) up front. Will
any of it be worth it?
No.
Steinaux have been trashing their reputation as a working-class club for years, embracing politically-correct fads and then buddying up with polluting oil giants, wrecking relations with their fans by charging exorbitant fees just to match those across town, and in all that time they’ve not come close to overpowering their rivals, Gunzlach. Unashamed spending in pursuit of league glory might turn out to be fruitless. But there’s little doubt they’ll make the IFCF qualifiers, and there perhaps lies their true aim as they seek to become a ‘global brand identity’. Funny, former fans mutter. They used to be a football club.
Manager: Svenn Kristjánsson
Squad:- Goalkeepers: Isac Théosson, Svanbjörg Reidarsdóttir, Sófus Fólkisson
- Defenders: Jasmine Gardener [GRU], Kilian Martinsson, Hjörleifur Reynarsson, Jostein Damonsson, Öne Svanbergursson, Vigfús Bensson, Elsi Davidsdóttir, Kyrri Marvinsson
- Midfielders: Hlégestur Snæþórsson, Helen Kjeldsdóttir, Eila Brynjólfursdóttir, Hrærekur Jvarsson, Bríana Noahsdóttir, Nanny Austarsdóttir, Helder Geurkink [SRS]
- Forwards: Petter Erlingsson, Ásvarður Bergmundursson, Justiina Dannysdóttir, Eyvar Simonsson, Nora Maximiliansdóttir