Cup of Harmony 77 - everything thread

by **Xanneria** » Wed Jun 24, 2020 11:51 am

A win of must bizarre circumstances
By Steve Stevenson

ZWANGZUG - When Sylestone was brought up during the schedule of the CoH many thought the nickname "Appliances" was some bizzare marketing stunt. But alas we found out the truth, that the Appliances were just that. If the game against Equestria freaked you all out then boy were you guys in for a surprise! Actual sentient appliances were playing our beloved Maroons and they nearly won! Even with an early goal by Devonelle Laymore couldn't stop the appliances from making it a game early. A little bit of shell shock start started to set in by the middle of the game. 20 minutes later a time in football which can use the adjective "mere", a giant comically oversized mixer passed it over to a clothes Dryer who got it by Dom Brabham. 7 minutes later, a bad pass by Bonchek found a Refrigerator from Sylestone and well, who wants to go head on with a fast moving fridge? So down 2-1 at half an inspired speech by Coach Rhule, we found that the came out guns a blazing, wearing western gear and that they played better in the second wearing chaps and cowboy hats over their uniforms. A penalty for a relatively mild bump by a fridge gave the Maroons a chance to tie up when Bonchek got on by a literal six foot tall by two foot wide brick wall. With the score tied up late it looked certain one point was on the docket, a hero needed to be found, and who could be the hero needed for the Maroons? Why substitute Kyle Falcon! Falcon was put in as an attack midfielder after Boncheck got her leg badly bruised by an uncalled bump on the Mixer, so Falcon went in and in the most dire circumstances got the winner in injury time! Meanwhile a confused by ecstatic coach Rhule had the following to say.

Coach Rhule wrote:What the fuck mate!? We knew about Equestria, but no one told us about this team! Like that was a shock, I'm glad we came through, but we're a bit bruised up our next match.

XANNERIA - 3
Laymore 12'
Bonchek 74'
Falcon 90+4'

SYLESTONE - 2
Mixer 32'
Refridgerator 40'

by **Vdara** » Wed Jun 24, 2020 4:34 pm

Delaclava 3-4 Vdara: The Second Coming of Twitter (also, Instagram!)

As with the game against Maccian, many Vdarans and Delaclavans took to Twitter (and Instagram!) to voice their delights and concerns about the match.

Fenix Footy - one of the most popular Delaclav football news organisations - were very confident in Delaclava's ability to beat Vdara.

Following these posts, Vdara put up a competent fight against the Phoenixes, but were 3-2 down at halftime.

Fenix Footy were still very much confident in the ability of the Phoenixes. If only they knew what would happen next...

Following the victory over Delaclava, Vdara lay third in their group, trailing behind both Maccian and Kandorith. Would they be able to take points off of top-seed Filindostan, or would they go down into fourth (or possibly third depending on Delaclava's result)? Only time will tell, and that time is tomorrow! I hope you're all ready, because this matchup is going to be a good one!

by **Krytenia** » Wed Jun 24, 2020 5:03 pm

GENERAL ELECTION - Coverage, Part III

11:19pm

Neil Alexandersson: Still with me are Adam Yevlin, Abram Mikkels, and Timothy Knibbs; next on the rotation are Reform's chief press officer Peter Cameron, and MNP Industry and Energy spokesman Bob Wilson from his count in Leston. Peter, your party is saying you've won the election, but is that really true? You still don't have a majority according to the exit polls.

Peter Cameron: We'll see on that one, if we're doing only slightly better than you think we are we'll have a majority, and besided, we're still by far the largest party. For other parties to form an anti-Reform coalition would fly in the face of democracy. Let's just wait and see what the results are before we talk about the mathematics of the situation.

Neil Alexandersson: I'll come back to you in a second, but speaking of results, I think we've got one about to come in. David?

David Hughes: We're going straight to the result in Dereapolis Central, the fourth result of this election. Mark Hurst stepped down here after holding it for the Democrats at the last three elections, can they hold on with new candidate Dennis Hall?

I, Sarah Mitchell, being the Presiding Officer for the election of a Member of the Witting for the division of Dereapolic Central, can confirm that the election has been completed in a fair and legal manner, and that the number of valid votes cast for each canditate are as follows:

Adams, Michael Alexander, Reform Party: forty-one thousand, seven hundred and twenty-one votes. (crowd ooohs)
Collins, James David, Mercian National Party: thirty-seven thousand and sixty-two.
Francis, Alicia Martina, The Greens: seven thousand, three hundred and two.
Hall, David Dennis, Krytenian Democrat: eleven thousand, six hundred and seventy-one.
Payne, Samantha Jessica, Conservative: eleven thousand, five hundred and ninety-eight.
Williams, Ian Shane, The Socialists: forty-one thousand, one hundred and forty two. (crowd gasps, then erupts)

There were three hundred and twelve spoiled ballot papers.

I hereby declare that the above mentioned Michael Alexander Adams has been returned as Member of the Witting for this division.

David Hughes: Our first gain of the election, Reform candidate Michael Adams returned with a majority of just 579, with the Democratic candidate well back. The MNP finished second at the last election here, so they'll be disappointed not to have taken it.

Prof. Kurt Jones: One thing we are seeing is that where there's a strong left presence - the Socialist candidate was a competitive third last time - the Reform and Socialist vote is eating even further into the Democrat total than in seats like Walton South. In divisions with a Socialist in second, the Democrats look doomed; remember, Marcus Corrello has a Socialist in second in his seat.

David Hughes: Let's have a look at the share of the vote there.

That's the stark reality facing the Democrats - this was their seat, and now they're barely holding fourth position. This should be an interesting three-way fight next time out.

Stephen Scobie: Latest from Twii.tur - Gavin Mycroft says he knows a good tailor if Adam Yenvil is interested.

...to be continued...

by **Twicetagram and JYPe** » Wed Jun 24, 2020 10:08 pm

WHY KORROS CHO SUCKS AND SHOULD BE REPLACED
Entirety of this video
Assume Phil Jones to be Korros Cho

by **Delaclava** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 12:33 am

Cup of Harmony quick start

With the news of Delaclava winning the rights to host the 39th World Bowl, the world's premier gridiron competition, the 77th Cup of Harmony, hosted by Kelssek and Zwangzug, has undoubtedly fallen by the wayside for the association Phoenixes' more casual supporters. We hope to give you a primer for the competition to get spectators caught up and ready to go for the final two games of the group stage - and with luck, more matches to come.

Who's playing in Kelssek

Through changes in form, rising stars, aging veterans, and suspensions, the Delaclava national team looked dramatically different for its final qualifying match, a 0-0 draw against Huayramarca, than its international re-debut at AOCAF 60.

Who's in

George Ross, Keaton Durbridge, Valentin Gusev, Dathan Ingram, Dashaun Howard, Lukas Meyer, Kelly Joseph, and Tomasz Janaczek: Any surprises here? They've all been core players from the get go - the captain Durbridge and leading scorer Meyer have started in all but one game (the disputed Acronius loss), while Ross, Gusev, and Ingram have regularly taken up starting roles, particularly as Tim Landers and Johannes Detmer settled on their favored lineups. Howard now takes on a valuable substitute rule, while Joseph has worked his way firmly into the starting eleven after going through many stages of being the backup or pinch starter. Janaczek has still yet to see much game action, but by all accounts has been as sharp as ever in practice, ready at any time should anything happen to Ross.

Artem Kohut: No surprise here either, for a very different reason. Kohut did not see action on this team until an away fixture against Welzat, with just four games to go in qualifying. He quickly impressed with a three-game goal streak to start his international career, and added a brace for Delaclava's celebrated home draw (3-3) in a friendly against Drawkland. Then, in the WCC break, Kohut proceeded to cap off a United Football League season at Catherina FC with 97 goals in 44 games, taking offensive POY and U20 honors, only losing out on MVP to his more versatile set-up man, Ingram. And you thought Rhydian Campbell had a meteoric rise. Speaking of which...

Pavel Cicak, Donato Girardi, and Rhydian Campbell: The first three players to be brought back from exile are hardly a surprise. Of the thirteen players suspended in the team's sex scandal, these three were the most consistent presences in the starting lineup, and barring any revelations of particularly egregious conduct, forgiveness was going to come quickest for them. Reports indicate that Detmer and Durbridge were satisfied that they would again be a positive presence for the team, and were able to forgive their past indiscretions once the DFA let them out of the penalty box. All four have also been brought back into the starting roles, although Girardi was stripped of his vice-captaincy - with Gusev promoted to the role and Ross named the third captain.

Luke Lemieux, Timur Zaitsev, Keghart Nazaretian, Michael Rogers, and Ruben Albert: Each of the players joined the team for the first time at various stages of the assessed punishment for the scandal. Lemieux and Nazaretian even started the final games of the qualifying campaign, and while they did not do enough to keep their spots, particularly with the return of Cicak and the shift to a three-back formation, they certainly were strong enough to remain in the greater 23-man roster. Albert did them one better, managing to retain his starting role in the new 3-5-2 formation. Rogers and Zaitsev, meanwhile, got brief windows in qualifiers and friendlies, and did enough with those opportunities to also remain in their reserve roles.

Kazuo Martin, Erik Hovhannisyan, Carlos Berrera, and Tyron Young: These players originally started with the AOCAF 60 squad, but were dropped by the time World Cup qualifiers rolled around. Young was perhaps the least shocking, as the third goalkeeper, but he certainly earned his spot with a strong UFL season, and certainly intends to keep pushing higher up the depth chart. The other three really needed to show that the second chance was worthwhile. Martin did not see any further game action in his qualifying matches, but given that the starting lineup now features five midfielders, he was a sensible depth choice. Berrera needed to fight to make himself one of the six backs on the permanent roster, and arguably he was gifted a chance to prove himself as a legacy player, with the honoring of his great-grandfather, Alessandro, at Berrera Stadium against Huayramarca. To his credit, Carlos did absolutely everything with that a chance, a sturdy presence in a backline that succeeded to compensate for a lack of offensive firepower. Hovhannisyan may have been the most impressive at all; with Kohut, Meyer, and Howard locking up three striker spots, Hovhannisyan had a game-winning assist as a substitute in the Welzat match, and his level of physicality and energy was more apparent than ever. Detmer liked what he saw and gave the AC Espene youngster the final striker spot.

Sargis Nazaryan and Geghard Darbinyan: While neither man has gotten much action to speak of, like Martin they provide the necessary midfield depth for the team's new tactics. They're both suitable replacements if needed - the 20-year-old Nazaryan in particular, a second-team allstar in a second-place campaign with Steckholl United.

Who's out

Pau Pan: He simply didn't get much of a chance to prove himself, and there wasn't room for him on a team using a three-back formation, where Pavel Cicak was at the top of his depth chart. He's still just 20, and plenty promising to take this experience and continue to grow.

Chris Lang: This development was a long time coming. Lang was a starter at center back (remember that?) to kick off AOCAF, but unfortunately, he largely was not up to par, and Tim Landers eventually switched to a 3-4-3 format, which was designed more to highlight Rhydian Campbell and the other midfielders, but came at Lang's expense. He could have continued on in the reserve role, but the writing was really on the wall when thirteen players were suspended, Johannes Detmer had the chance to put together some fill-in players, and Lang was still stuck behind Keghart Nazaretian and Luke Lemieux. Lang has simply been too slow for the elite game, and that was highlighted by the fact that even Lemieux, a full 25 pounds heavier, was better able to keep up with opposing offensive players. Lang will hopefully be remembered as a pioneer of this team, but his legacy probably ends there.

Alexei Gusev: The twin brother of center back Valentin was always in an uphill battle to get playing him with the three-headed attack of Ingram, Howard, and Meyer in front of him. He's had a few shining moments in his career - particularly in the Wonder Cup - but little else. And it wasn't looking great when veterans Ryan Walters and Declan Mullins were able to work their way into the semi-regular starting lineup. But Gusev's fortunes took a turn for the worse after players were suspended in the scandal - and Artem Kohut was one of the replacements. Kohut and Howard were good enough at striker to be a lock for the roster, and with Meyer inevitably returning to that position in a more optimal scenario, Gusev's days were numbered. The death knell was the resurgence of Hovhannisyan; while Alexei possibly stagnated in an unchanging reserve role, Hovhannisyan improved vastly during his absence and was the one to get the call when offensive firepower was needed in qualifying, and he was the one to get the final spot out of just four forwards. Gusev theoretically has plenty of time, at 24, to make his way back - but the other four strikers are at least five years younger. Gusev could possibly remodel his game as more of an attacking or wing midfielder, but the future of Delaclava's attackers could very well be decided for the next several years.

Brent Ritchie and Zane Davis: With Cicak, Campbell, and Girardi returning to the team, conventional wisdom was that Ritchie and Davis could also take up their starting roles again. But Ritchie was perhaps squeezed out by the performance of Albert, and Detmer must have preferred the reserve defensive midfielders who were already on the team - and hadn't taken disciplinary action. Meanwhile Davis couldn't quite justify his return with Gusev, Joseph, and Nazaretian in the way. Their returns may likely come soon, but they'll have to do more to earn them.

Josh Torres and Jesse Bates: While they certainly were not a lock to be brought back for the Cup of Harmony, the decisions certainly reflect that Torres has been struggling with his game, while Bates still has more work to do on the rise.

Ryan Keating: Despite all the circumstances surrounding his departure and questions about his future with the national team, Keating is certainly not done with football. He looked impressive in captaining a Cleopatrana SC squad, which were simultaneously the underdogs and the defending champions with a target on their back. Keating ignored the critics who claimed he'd cracked under pressure with the Phoenixes, and put the Pharoahs on his back for a respectable fourth-place finish and a Best XI berth for himself. We don't know what, if any, conversations are happening between Detmer, Keating, and anyone else to bring Keating back to the national team, but he looked in much better form at the club level after heading home - either that means the national team simply isn't for him, or he's found something left in the tank.

Jared Thompson, Gunnar Sash, Quentin Bard, Ryan Walters, and Declan Mullins: While Thompson is still suspended, and he subsequently announced his retirement, the other four Verceolans were eligible for selection. Sash and Bard were never big contributors for the squad, and with Detmer finding players more apt for his tactics and culture - as well with more years and improvement to go - they were left out of the running. Walters and Mullins were the more surprising omissions given that they were frequent starters at the time of their dismissal, but similar to Gusev, there wasn't much room for them to find their way back given the emergence of Kohut and Hovhannisyan. Walters and Mullins have even hinted at retirement, while Sash and Bard don't seem to have bright prospects to rejoin. The Verceolan era of the Delaclav team was fun while it lasted, but the curtain may have already been closed.

So far, not so good

The good news? Delaclava has scored eight goals in two games. No one has topped that total so far.

The bad news? The Phoenixes have also allowed ten goals, and no one has come close to that.

Delaclava has been locked in two high-action, high-scoring games, and come out worse in both by the slimmest of margins, losing 6-5 to Kandorith and 4-3 to Vdara. The Phoenixes have been able to play their style, and have surprised the opposition with their scoring aptitude. The Kandorese manager Ken Hayabusa was quoted as saying, "We let our defense slide a bit too much in the game which allowed Delaclava to exploit our wings and sneak in those five goals." Uh... how do you let a team sneak in five goals? Dumbasses. The Phoenixes were a force - on one end of the field, at least.

The Vdara defeat was a particular shocker - Vdara is a quality opposition and deserves all the credit for the win, despite our smack-talking on other platforms, but the Phoenixes had control of the game, intent to pile on, and simply... let go? This team continues to struggle to maintain intensity over 90 minutes. We don't have the answer for what it'll take to fix the problem. We don't think Landers had it, and we're not sure Detmer does either.

Delaclava is the lowest-ranked squad in the group, but there are undoubtedly high expectations, stemming from the team's legacy. Their best chance to salvage something in this tournament will be the next match against Maccian, the next lowest ranked squad. Rest assured, they are a quality side - and well-rested after beating Vdara 5-3 - but if the Phoenixes are going to slip through this group, it's going to take a Ave Maria against a relatively upstart squad to get things moving in the right direction.

Kandorith 6-5 Delaclava

KAN, Matsuda 11'. KAN, Nakajima 18'. DEL, Kohut (Meyer, Ingram) 24'. KAN, Yamaguchi 34'. DEL, Meyer (Durbridge, Girardi) 39'. KAN, Matsuda 50'. DEL, Albert (Meyer) 53'. KAN, Nakajima 60'. DEL, Meyer (Durbridge, Campbell) 69'. DEL, Kohut (Joseph) 72'. KAN, Nakajima 90+1'.

Delaclava 3-4 Vdara

DEL, Meyer (Durbridge) 7'. VDA, Fotellis (Athanas, Karalas) 10'. DEL, Kohut (Albert) 23'. DEL, Meyer (Ingram, Girardi) 32'. VDA, Lazelis 38'. VDA, Karalas (Mavroglou, Vlahiades) 54'. VDA, Lazelis 63'.

by **Savojarna** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 1:24 am

”Rika. Just Rika”

Pub The Clockwork, Värstjö, Savojarna

Rika Lundell and Lena Holmgren sat on the terrace of the pub in Värstjö’s post-industrial hip neighbourhood, sharing a dark wooden table with a weird metal contraption on top of it. The weak sun of May in Southern Vestrholm was just about enough to justify wearing short sleeves to most people, but to Värstjö’s natives, it was a welcome opportunity to enjoy the first rays of sun of the year. Rika was happy that the sun also fell together with one of the few breaks in their season. She decided to take the time for a quick break from the stress of being a breakout football star, hanging out with her friend from younger and easier days.

Rika and Lena had gone to highschool together, but they didn’t really click until they both started playing football together in the team of their neighbourhood, Norrberg FF. Back then it was Lena who was poised for a great career, playing as a tall and clever centre-back who wasn’t above using whatever opening she could find for a tackle. Rika, who had been rather small throughout her childhood and never quite found her position, was always in the second team, not quite making it up to the first level. At age fifteen, Rika was finally promoted to the first team, developing her skills over a summer of playing in the streets and finally growing a bit, and when she came to the team, her and Lena became best friends. When Rika was seventeen and the call from Rotor came, Lena had followed her, being scouted for the professional side as well, but didn’t quite make it. Now, she played in the regional leagues, with Norrberg, as captain of the team. Talking with Rika about her life as a pro, however, Lena Holmgren wasn’t jealous one bit.

Throughout Rika’s young career, Lena had been there for her, living the thrill of getting drafted into the U21 of Rotor together with Rika, and when she played her first game in the SFS A her best friend was sitting on the stands next to her parents. Now, there was no emotional support needed, just a break from the massive attention around Savojarna’s new darling. “I feel like everyone wants to talk to me, but nobody actually talks with me? It’s all Lundell this, Lundell that, but it’s so hard to just be Rika”, she was complaining to her friend. Old acquaintances and friends that now were looking to ride off her glamour. Friends, fallen on hard times, asking her for her support or even money. People from the old Norrberg team, asking her to arrange a tryout at Rotor - as if that were even possible. Even the cute, somewhat nerdy guy she’d been on a date with recently, who said he didn’t watch football and didn’t even recognise her at first (something Rika had secretly thought of as a pretty nice trait) suddenly seemed incapable of seeing her as a person when he figured out who she was. Well, apparently being a breakout star had its disadvantages, but at least Savojars were typically reserved enough to leave her alone on the street.

Right as she was telling Lena all those worries about being Lundell and a number, rather than Rika, her phone rang. Unknown number. She’d let it ring, probably just another journalist. Then, five minutes later, their drinks having been emptied now, it rang again. She put it aside, sighing as the ring had interrupted Lena’s fawning over the holiday plans they’d been making rudely. “Sorry, Lena. That’s what you get for hanging out with a footballer”, she joked, before going back to their talk. As the waiter arrived to pick up the empty glasses, the phone buzzed again. “Don’t you wanna take that, maybe?”, the waiter asked, guests on the terrace now looking at the two increasingly annoyed at the phone that persistently disrupted their afternoon. It was the same number. Rika looked at her friend somewhat excusingly. “I’m sorry, Lena. Our holidays may have to wait a moment”, she said as she turned around the corner to pick up the call in peace.

“Hello? Is that Lundell there?”, a woman’s voice said. Rika sighed. “Rika, just Rika”. “But… you are Rika Lundell, yes? This is Rangren from the SFFB”. The player almost dropped her phone. “Rangren? Mikaela Rangren? That Mikaela Rangren?”, she nervously babbled. For once, she did not mind being reduced to football whatsoever. “I’m sorry, I thought I was talking to another tabloid journalist. I am so sorry, Ms. Rangren!”, she kept blurting out until the voice on the phone chuckled. “Mikaela, just Mikaela. And yes, that Mikaela Rangren. We’ve been observing you for a while; I think all of Savojarna has. You don’t have to say yes to what I’ll ask, and I will be coming to Värstjö to talk to you in person. But what I want to ask…”, she said before she was interrupted by Rika. “Yes! Oh god, the national team? Yes!”, she bounced, attracting even more weird looks from the terrace. Not that she cared in this moment.

“Wait a moment, Rika”, Rangren said laughing. The coach decided in that moment that she liked Rika Lundell. “Listen to me first, hmm? We plan to rejuvenate the Northlights. Some players aren’t as much in shape as they used to be, and we always need to be ready for the next big change. So, for the Cup of Harmony, we’ll be changing things up a little in the squad. I’d like to invite you to the preparation camps, and hopefully to the team. I think you can play a good role in this team. As I said, you don’t have to answer right now, and we’ll be talking in person later, but I’d want you to know. You can always reach me on this number”. Rika’s heart started racing. Rika Lundell, a Northlight.

Returning to the table, Lena looked at her friend. “So, what was this? You didn’t look like it was that bad, was it?”, she teased her, but Lena for sure did not expect the answer she got. “I’m sorry for delaying our holiday plans, Lena”, Rika said. “But I may have to delay them a bit longer. It was Mikaela Rangren. I may be going to the Cup of Harmony”.

by **The Sarian** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 2:51 am

On Right Wing
The Football Blog That's Rolling Away

The Sarian 0-0 South Covello: three suppositions
by Stefan Struik*

Death by Tolbert
An investigation was launched today after a woman was mowed down on her bicycle in Wilaamstad. This occurred after a man, unnamed for legal reasons, fell asleep at the wheel listening to The Sarian's Cup of Harmony clash. The above story probably is not true, but it certainly sounds it. And now I have to write a five-hundred word story about a football match in which literally nothing happened. At least a women being brutally killed because Winona Tolbert probably did a good job of marking would have been drama. Though at this point anyone who can afford to pay the congestion charge in Bondstad probably isn't listening to football on the radio; which is probably the only reason why lives have been saved. So well done to Mayor Daavaj, probably? Just to recount everything that did happen: . And then the final whistle was blown. To be fair, against a better opponent it was probably the right tactic: bore their fans to sleep so that they couldn't heckle us.

Next game probably crucial
That said, a draw against the number one seed is a probably a good sign if The Sarian are to progress to the Round of Thirty-Two, a goal which is probably achievable. Despite being the number three seed in the group, The Sarian were the highest ranked team in the third seed - and were drawn alongside the lowest ranked number two seed. The next game against Squornshelous is probably going to decide who advances, with The Sarian probably needing to win because of Squornshelous's superior goal difference. That said, The Sarian are still yet to play Legalese. If The Sarian lose to Legalese - which probably won't happen, but also might happen - then the game against Squornshelous won't matter as much, probably. Because, that said, Squornshelous's results could go strange elsewhere, or maybe they won't. Either way, the game against Squornshelous is probably important but might not be.

Training or Tanning? How to spend the bye-day
The Sarian face a bye day when their opponents next play, which the players will probably spend preparing for the aforementioned Squornshelous game. They might also use it as a rest day: there are a number of good cocktails for offer in Kelssek, though one rules above the rest: the Cosmopolitan. This cranberry juice based concoction is so ubiquitous that Kelssek has been dubbed a 'Cosmopolitan country' - making it probably the only nation in the multiverse to be named after an alcoholic beverage. If I was the manager - rather than the deranged loon of a man who is Miccal Druiven, a failure who has amounted to nothing who I shall hound until his dying days for failing to even win the World Cup with a bunch of amazing players that I routinely insult and call useless to drive traffic - I would probably focus on training, which is probably the right thing for a football team to do. But because I work for corporate media, I have a company credit card so I will probably be devoting this last bit of column inch to myself - the reason everyone reads about football. Let's put it this way: everyone says you can't leave Kelssek without picking up a stuffed beaver.

* as imagined by Arveur Wajnn, probably.

De Pastinaak (The Parsnip) is a monthly satirical magazine and website, and forms part of a long line of publications in the multiverse named after root vegetables. Despite its satirical nature, it has a reputation for reporting uncovered scandals and conflicts of interests - especially in provincial and municipal governments. After nearly a century of publication, it is steeped in in-jokes and self-referential humour and has a long list of recurring punchbags. The magazine's has a legendary feud is with De Telegraaf newspaper - which it accuses of hiding behind a reputation as an impartial paper-of-record to disguise the fact that it is a deeply conservative protector of the establishment. The magazine in-turn has been criticised for being "the anti-establishment magazine of the establishment."

Line-up versus Squornshelous (Matchday Four): (4-4-1-1 AM) Oodel Duoztiun / Walt Beunaad, Jaxon Pieuz, Henri Brejzun, Diemer Haum / Wictor Buul, Luc Bisop, Hugo Sint Lo, Maeri Beniut / Mohammad Islam / Lach Houten

by **Trolleborg** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 3:52 am

First part, Second part

T.R.: While news bulletin was shown, our guest said that he had important news for fans. So?

T.M.: Yes, the news is important, and it is precisely for the fans. Since there are a lot of people who want to get from Trolleborg to Zwangtsug and back (according to estimates, at least 5-7 thousand people), we took measures to try to move our citizens here and back with the maximum comfort, possible the most pleasant way and at the lowest possible price. A tender has been announced for airlines who will implement this, and for countries wishing to provide a stopover. Since there are many who watch us outside the country, I take this opportunity to invite everyone to participate.

T.R.:Great news, really ...

T.M.: That is, if anyone responds at all, he should make a reservation.

T.R.: Let's hope that he will respond, and our fans will be able to get acquainted with several more countries during this voyage. And what else can you tell them?

T.M.: We at FA are very pleased that the part of the tournament we are participating in will be held in Zwangzug, a place we already know. Both in Baptism of Fire and right now we will play in FTC (“fraternal twin cities”), so it’s good possibility to meet old friends and relive moments of our glory. They already know us there, and, I believe, they remembered us from the best side. It will be even better if the team enters the next stage and the fans have a chance to watch Kelssek as well, I was there with hockey fans at the World Cup and this country left an extremely positive impression. It’s wonderful to see the world, compare other countries with your own, to find out where we are and to notice what we should correct and add in our lives.

T.R.: Yes, I agree with you here. And what do you recommend for those traveling for the first time in Zwangzug?

T.M.: You know, on my first visit I was in such a nervous state that I see little except the stadiums and the hotel, noticed little at all except our fans, whose fate I had great care for, I was immersed in working with our fan town, which now has become an integral part of any competition with the participation of our team. We did our job well then, but saw little. So I am not in position to recommend something special.

T.R.: By the way, I am also have great news for fans, TTV has prepared an hour-long 3D film about the country where CoH will be held, and you can not only see where you should go and what to pay attention to, but also practically touch everything with your own hands. He will be shown tomorrow at six in the evening. And then the last question to you, Torben: how do you summarize in three words the state of our football in the world?

T.M.: In three words? In three words ... Then this: a hard uphill fight.

T.R.: Yes, an interesting motto, and, probably captures mood. Well, on this promising note, we end the program. All the best, Morten, goodbye, dear viewers and don’t forget to be with us tomorrow at six!

by **Electrum** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 5:36 am

Centralis Herald - Entertainment Section - Lyn Moschino

World Domination 85 Review

Video gaming has come a long way since the Centralis Herald reviewed Dream Games' previous flagship soccer title, Multiverse Pro Soccer 1 (MPS1). In fact, it wasn't just video gaming, but also football itself, and our very own nation has been changed in unimaginable ways since MPS1 was released all the way back during World Cup 71, fourteen cycles ago. We qualified for our first ever World Cup. Gloriax, and hence Dream Games as a whole, disappeared. We won World Cup 78. Electrum got frozen in a time loop and later unfrozen by The Computator.

The return of Gloriax, in the form of The Grearish Union, as well as Electrum just a mere year ago has lead to a renewal in the Dream Games partnership with this flagship title for the new Dream Epic II console.

World Domination 85 (WD85) is fields apart from its predecessor. An entirely new architecture based on the DG Engine has meant that the game features better rendering, improved AI, and more realistic physics ranging from the straight shot to the throw-in. Support has been added for non-humanoid players as well, from the ponies of Equestria to the Seb (Sentient Energy Ball) of the Electrumite national team, further adding to the game's realism. Although the gameplay mechanics have been rewritten from scratch, WD85 improves upon and maintains what made MPS1 so great - the intricate managerial and progression system. Players will be relieved that the most successful parts of MPS1 - the construction of rosters, transfers and training management, public relations - all remain intact. And of course, the careers mode has been maintained with all the features we love and expect such as salary negotiations, a training skill tree, and journalists' interviews to raise their character's profile. However, we suspect that the most popular game mode will be one that has been introduced in WD85.

This new mode is the Story mode. The Story Mode allows players to create their own customisable football character with the hopes and dreams of a successful club and national career. This expansive game mode includes cut-scenes with voice acting as well as great, realistic writing. Characters start at the lower rungs of their national league, but when they become more successful on the pitch, opportunity comes knocking with more high-valued contracts at better leagues and at higher tiers. With enough talent and training, it is possible for characters to climb all the way to the top - being part of the starting XI of their national team and/or at a top-tier club like 1830 Cathair.

One particular feature we at the Centralis Herald love is that all football milestones reached by the story mode character are recorded and photographed in-game. These milestones include little things such as first game at a new club, first national football match, and even first bicycle kick goal. These are then compiled and shown in a tribute video at the retirement of the story mode player's career. It's details such as these which will make players such as yourself to buy in to their character's development, and we envisage many hours will be lost to this new game mode.

To encourage new players to try this new story-based game mode, Dream Games has implemented a seamless game mode switch system. Essentially, players will be able to create characters which will play for clubs, and then switch to managerial mode to manage that same club and that character. This allows players will have the full perspective of seeing clashes between managers and their characters (for example - when the character wants to move teams but the manager wants them to stay), as well as life-long friendships. This is some seriously smart game design, as these features all rely on the imagination of the gamers to create storylines for both their character and their managers.

The game's coverage includes IFCF and domestic leagues as well as national teams playing at WCC sanctioned tournaments. While some domestic leagues are unavailable at time of writing, Dream Games hopes that they will be able to add on more leagues as part of additional downloadable content.

To sum up, this game pairs excellent gameplay (with new physics and support for non-human players) with an unparalleled story mode. This game is one of the best football games ever made. 10/10.

by **Blouman Empire** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 5:45 am

THE EMPIRE TIMES

Blouman Media Attacks Lewis Parry As Sacking Rumours Increase

The momentum to fire managers who aren’t quickly achieving results in the domestic leagues has spread to the international stage as pressure on Blouman manager Lewis Parry is increasing with every passing result.

The 4-1 loss to Northwest Kalactin earlier in the week, the fight with his Captain and his continual playing of Ty Freltron have all turned the temperature up on the former Atlayda United title winner manager during the Cup of Harmony campaign. Reports from FFB headquarter have suggested he must show strong improvement over the remaining two matches if he is to remain in his role. Large sections of the media in the Empire agree that the writing could be on the wall for Parry. Emery has reached a point where his position as the Blouman Empire manager is untenable, The Sunday Review George Hawks told Cup of Harmony Nightly last night. The Eagles have so far failed to win a match in the Cup of Harmony, managed to just scrape into the mid table of the World Cup qualifiers and there has become an increasingly divisive atmosphere in the dressing room as Parry and team Captain Luke Cousins engaged in a shouting match after the loss to Northwest Kalactin and reportedly near came to blows were it not for the intervention of other players.

Newspaper reports including from this masthead have suggested Parry’s job is under threat with current Jollipville Athletic manager Nathan Mutta touted as a potential replacement, and Hawks told the Cup of Harmony Nightly that Parry’s relationship with the players have never developed enough to be able to keep their support during the bad times. "I think we've reached a point where Lewis Parry is done," he said. "I don't think they'll sack him until after the Cup of Harmony though. I just feel he was the wrong appointment, it's partly his favouritism to certain players and picks but he's never connected with the players the way a manager should”.

FFB General Secretary Harry Alpin backed him to the hilt during the qualifiers but has gone quiet this campaign, and the squad is easily good enough to get past the group stage with Parry having to take the full blame if they don’t as he easily has enough good players there but has struggled to get them to gel and get their full potential out on the international stage.

Michael Crane, football writer at The Morning Paper, agreed Parry's tenure was looking in danger - but said, having been the manager to lead the team into the international stage after a long hiatus , he hoped the boss would get more time to turn things around. "I’m not sure it would be right to be the end of the road, he should get given more time. He needs at least another set of qualifiers to be able to see if his rebuilding plan will work”

In either case the tenure of Parry is one that is coming under fire, while no one has expected that he would take the team to titles but is not achieving the targets he has proclaimed to the media. Should the FFB decide to remove him during or at the end of the Cup of Harmony they will need to ensure any replacement will be able to improve upon his results and also not be one to find himself caught up in the current trend of firing managers if immediate results aren’t seen

by **West Pocono** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 7:19 am

MONUMENTAL VICTORY

West Pocono picked up one of the biggest wins in national history last night, scoring a 1-0 win over the Rockets of Newmanistan. While it is recognized that Newmanistan does not have much of a soccer program, it nation has always looked at us as a baby brother, as if they were pulling us along on puppet strings. In sports, it is a nation that many of our best players will look to travel to in order to play professionally. That could be considered a little odd, making you wonder why other nations in Atlantian Oceania never care about our players, but obviously they need to prove themselves. On the national soccer team, many of the Thunder players do play professionally in Newmanistan, so playing the Rockets in the Cup of Harmony was always going to be exciting.

The team would be an underdog against Newmanistan for the game, but so was Drunk People At The Local Tavern in World Cup qualifying. The drunks were able to defeat the Rockets not just once, but twice, being one of the big reasons why the sky blue did not qualify for the World Cup, finishing two points behind Qasden in the group. The drunks live up to their name on the pitch, so manager Nathan Ruddy decided it would be a good idea for the Poconi to follow that lead and get intoxicated as well, before playing. It is a most unusual strategy, and many of the players seemed to question whether or not it would be effective, though would anyway. This would be a little problematic for defender Paul Zabata, who does not drink. Zabata realized the potential effectiveness of the plan, and volunteered to give up his starting spot in the match to John Romanelli. The beverage of choice did not matter, as Ruddy made sure that whether it would be beer, vodka, or anything else, that the team would be drunk by game time.

When the team took to the field, you could clearly see that they were committed to this game strategy, but even as they stumbled around the field, they were still able to be effective. The aggressive strategy of Michael Starre for the Rockets had a hard time predicting what the defense might do, and goalkeeper Jeremy Burgess was in the right place at the right time. While the Rockets were sober, their shooting accuracy for the match may have made you think otherwise. After being scoreless for the longest time, Garrett Conroy scored in the 53th minute to give the Thunderdrunks the one goal lead, and they would never look back. In the end, West Pocono had defeated Newmanistan in a major tournament. There’s not much else that could be sweeter for them.

This victory has raised a question as to whether the Poconi will continue the play drunk strategy for their next contest against Barunia. Ruddy has stated that the team will be sober for the match, but if it does not go well, then Valladares might end up seeing the Thunderdrunks. But for now, it is back to sobriety.

by **Mercedini** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 11:41 am

77th Cup of Harmony MD3 Preview
Mercedini vs. Euran Oceanian Territories
@ Stade De La Pacifique - Langlois, Kelssek

Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome back to the Cup of Harmony in Kelssek. For the third day of action as Mercedini's second game approaches versus Euran Oceanian Territories. A goalless draw as a rather anticlimactic way to begin their camapign, but they are in a solid spot to qualify for the knockout rounds if they pick up a couple of wins in any of their three remaining games. Since Mercedini played, both Tequilo and Ethane have picked up wins for their respective camps, with Tequilo now leading the group having played a game more, with Ethane in second having only played one game so far. For the Golden Eagles they sit in fourth with a game in hand over much of the rest of the group, but they must convert their games if they are to have a sniff at advancing in their final couple of games. Today, we will preview our next opponents, the Euran Oceanian Territories.

Cup of Harmony: First Tie Against Eura! (Almost)

FULL TIME
COH | MD3
MERCEDINI
EURAN OCEANIAN TERRIROTIES
Langlois, Kelssek
Attendance - TBC

In a nation entitled as such, it's no surprise that the Euran Oceanian Territories are heavily influenced by the former World #1 and current footballing juggernaut. However, the lesser known archipelago could themselves be a miniature footballing power, with the archipelago rising from the depths of the world rankings to challenge even the best at their own game. This will be the first time Mercedini has played either of the Euran-associated nations, meaning it will be a new endeavour for the team, who I'm sure would rather play the big daddy rather than little kiddy. Nonetheless, EOT have claimed big results of their own in the past couple of cycles, and could be another surprise package at this tournament.

From their previous results, EOT are on the cusp of elimination already following their two losses to Tequilo and The Jovannic. Their remaining two games are both against the Top 2 ranked nations in their group, meaning they will need nothing short of a miracle to pluck something from this campaign. EOT are most likely famed for their 'out-there' manager Skroji Oslograd, who's unhinged and sporadic styles of play have ensured that almost every team that plays them, comes across something completely different or unexpected. In a tough group featuring eventual qualifiers Turori and Audioslavia, the Euran Oceanian Territories finished in 10th place with a respectable five wins and five draws from twenty-four games. This tournament will give the team a big chance to boost their KPB points and put them in a even better position next cycle, so there's all to play for in their final two games as the team salvages what they can. Don't be fooled by their World Ranking, this team, on their day, can push anyone to their limits to grind out a point or a hard earned victory. Spirits will be high and the adrenaline will be pumping for both teams when they meet here in Langlois, EOT go into the match with nothing to lose, while Mercedini must pick up points if they are to avoid a shock elimination at this early stage.

Mercedini have the benefit of their game in hand to know what their have to do to escape the group, but they want to give themselves the best possible chance of topping the group and earn an easy draw going into the knockout rounds, if they make it that far. It is still a long way until we find out who will lift the Cup of Harmony title, we hope you will be able to join us for more action and reaction from Kelssek and Zwangzug. For now, we bid you goodnight and good health!

by **Omerica** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 12:33 pm

The Northern Times
The Voice of the Lallands
Omerica v Baggieland at the 77th Cup of Harmony
Pre-match: A beautiful day here on the east side of the Fraternal Twin Cities in Zwangzug. Third-seeds Omerica face fifth-seeds Baggieland, with both sides looking to clinch the first win of group number nine.

Pre-match: Fred Buckingham appears to have made no changes to his side’s line-up from the draw against Trolleborg. Ben Osborne will once again take up the gloves for Baggieland. Brendon Dawson, John Moore, Jonas McAuley and Derek Pennington will be at the back behind Laurie Bassett, captain Bomber Robson, Len Livermore and Ray Brunt. And finally, Ronnie Regis will play between them and striker Jeff Richardson.

Pre-match: On the Omerican side, Valentine Augustin will be the only player reprising her role from the match against West Squornshelous after Kostas’s intended goalkeeper Drew Durant pulled a muscle in training. Joining her will be Alphonse Notley, Noah Clement, Justin Thyme and Lauren Kerry in the back. Soraya Archambault will take over as defensive midfielder, just behind Simone Bonfils and Maxime Fournier. And up front, it’s Maïa Bustos, Alexis Chrysanthos and Jamal Ahmad as today’s Triad.

Pre-match: The Incorrigibles will be the ones donning their blue first strip today. The Throstles will be playing in their yellow and green change kit.

1’: Alexis Chrysanthos kicks us off at the Eglantine Park here in Merano. Both these teams scalped draws off higher-ranked opposition on matchday one and they’ll be looking to take the lead in this group at this very numerical Losers’ Cup.

5’: NEARLY THERE. Jamal Ahmad gets off the first shot of the match, but it’s just wide of Osborne’s net.

8’: Omerica are getting the lion’s share of the ball here. Baggieland appear to be on the ropes.

9’: WHAT A SAVE! Ben Osborne demonstrating why he wears the number one, denying Alexis Chrysanthos their first international goal since that drunken disaster in Charlottesville.

11’: ANOTHER MISS! Maïa Bustos picks up a nice cross from Ahmad, but sends her first shot of the match high and wide. Not even close.

14’: Baggieland will be incredibly frustrated with their performance so far. Omerica will be too, but for the simple fact that they’ve yet to score!

15’: BUSTOS DOWN! Just outside the box, much to Baggieland’s relief, but Bustos looks like she may be seriously hurt here.

16’: SUBSTITUTION: BUSTOS → BECKETT. Maïa Bustos will come off after a very early injury scare, with Jessie Beckett replacing her on the right wing.

20’: Things appear to be unravelling quickly for Omerica. George Kostas has already been forced to use up one of his substitutions inside a quarter-hour and the Incorrigibles have lost all sense of momentum.

25’: BASSETT DOWN. Baggies are half-heartedly appealing for a penalty, but Bassett.

29’: GREAT SAVE. Augustin was hoping she’d be kicking her feet up for this match, but she’s as in it as the rest of them. A great move by Jeff Richardson that would’ve certainly been one of the goals of the group had Augustin not got her hands on it.

34’: GOAL! OME 1–0 BAG. And it’s Beckett who puts Omerica out in front! Osborne gets the tips of his fingers on it, but it’s just too powerful and precise to be denied.

37’: The Incorrigibles are leading for only the second time at this Cup of Harmony so far. Their lead against West Squornshelous did not stand and that is giving the Throstles hope here.

40’: Richardson goes for it again and Augustin fumbles the save. Lucky for her, Clement’s there to clear the threat.

45’: SO CLOSE! Bomber gets what is probably the Throstles’s last shot of the half off, but it grazes the crossbar as it flies into the stands.

45’+1: It would’ve been a cheeky goal down the middle if Robson had kept it down, but Omerica saved by millimetre margins again.

HALFTIME: OMERICA 1–0 BAGGIELAND. An accurate reflection of the match down here in Merano. Despite the lead, things have not been going particularly well for the Incorrigibles here.

Break: The Throstles started out poorly and improved as the half went on, while the Incorrigibles started out well until Bustos was forced to come off.

Break: Both sides have had a handful of good chances, but Omerica have been marginally better at finishing them off. The way things are going, it’s shaping up to be a nailbiter.

Break: SUBSTITUTION: THYME → DE FELICE. Kostas making his second substitution of the match. Justin Thyme’s been fairly lacklustre so far and the manager will be hoping that veteran Incorrigibles defender Aristide de Felice can wake up the back four against a Baggie assault.

46’: Jeff Richardson gets us underway for the second half. Baggieland have already pulled off an upset and they’ll want an outright scalp in their first match at the Eglantine. At the rate they’re going, they may well get it.

48’: Early opportunity for Richardson, but it’s comfortably to the left. Baggieland are clearly out for blood.

51’: Omerica with a brief period in command here, but it’s come to naught with Ahmad’s desperate shot off target.

55’: Baggieland have been getting better as this match goes on and Omerica have been getting worse. You can feel it’s just a matter of time before they find an equaliser.

58’: Just high from Laurie Bassett. De Felice’s been looking like a wet noodle out there.

61’: Brunt’s connected with Livermore on the left wing and looking to deliver a cross.

62’: GOAL! OME 1–1 BAG. Bomber Robson’s dropping a pile of C4 on Omerica’s Cup of Harmony campaign. The captain’s used his head in more ways than one and Augustin had no chance.

64’: Kostas’s finally got his head out of his hands here. Omerica need to dig deep to find a winner, otherwise the campaign is in deep trouble.

68’: Omerica starting to reverse the tide now, but Ahmad’s cross in to Beckett is on the road to nowhere. Baggieland appear to be happy to take a draw by the looks of it.

70’: Another attempt from the Incorrigibles, but it’s cleaned up by Jonas McAuley. The Baggieland bus is now stationed in the stadium.

74’: This time, it’s Beckett to Ahmad. This time, it’s the same result: cleared by McAuley.

77’: John Moore with the clearance this time, as Simone Bonfils can’t seem to find a breakthrough. Omerica are the ones dominating the ball now, but are being frustrated every step of the way.

81’: You have a sinking feeling that Kostas wants Jean-François Fernand on to overwhelm the Baggieland defence, but he’s holding back on the third substitution here. The wide defenders are pushing forward instead, with Soraya Archambault retreating to the back line.

84’: Lauren Kerry feeding Jamal Ahmad through the left wing, but Ben Osborne fumbles Ahmad’s shot away for now.

85’: GOAL! OME 2–1 BAG. Ben Osborne did well to get to Ahmad’s attempt, but Alexis Chrysanthos restores the Incorrigibles’ advantage with a comfortable tap-in.

86’: Nothing’s come close to being as easy as Chrysanthos’s strike for Omerica tonight. Almost against the run of play, Omerica are back in front.

86’: SUBSTITUTION: CHRYSANTHOS → KAYODE. That will be Alexis’s final contribution today, as the manager takes a leaf out of the Baggie playbook and brings the Incorrigibles bus onto the pitch. Charity Kayode will be serving out the last four minutes plus stoppage as Omerica’s fifth defender.

90’: Five minutes of added time in Merano and Baggieland are desperate to find another equaliser.

90’+4: ANOTHER SAVE. That surely has to be the last chance of the afternoon here! Augustin comfortably has her hands on Robson’s shot and it appears that the Incorrigibles will walk—rather than run—out the winners.

FULL TIME: OMERICA 2–1 BAGGIELAND. It was uncomfortable, but it’s a job done for Kostas’s Incorrigibles. Baggieland will be disappointed in the result, but can take a lot of positives from their performance in Zwangzug thus far. Omerica, meanwhile, desperately need to steady the boat going into the game against Trolleborg.

Post-match: Omerica jump into the lead in Group 9, though with West Squornshelous playing later today, who knows how long that’ll last? Either way the game goes in Bangkok, Omerica’s quest for a top-two spot in this group is, on the surface, looking better.

United Republican Soccer Federation
6 Jacques la Rouge Road
Port Alexandre, MS 18-A40
UNITED REPUBLICS OF OMERICA
Omerica 2–1 Baggieland
Cup of Harmony 77 group stage — Matchday Two
Eglantine Park, Merano (FTC), Zwangzug
Goalscorers: Jessie Beckett 34’ – Alexis Chrysanthos 85’; Bomber Robson 62’
Omerica lineup (4–3–3): Valentine Augustin; Alphonse Notley – Noah Clement – Justin Thyme – Lauren Kerry; Maxime Fournier – Soraya Archambault (captain) – Simone Bonfils; Maïa Bustos – Alexis Chrysanthos – Jamal Ahmad
Substitutions: Bustos > Jessie Beckett (16’) – Thyme > Aristide de Felice (46’) – Chrysanthos > Charity Kayode (86’)

Trolleborg v Omerica
Cup of Harmony 77 group stage — Matchday Three
Palloci Pagoda Park, Bangkok (FTC), Zwangzug
Omerica lineup (4–3–3): Rowan Greycastle; Fernand Michelakakis - Noah Clement - Justin Thyme - Jet Sneyders; Red Bolton (captain) - Soraya Archambault - Thom Magalhães; Jessie Beckett - Alexis Chrysanthos - George Palmeiro

by **Torisakia** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 12:39 pm

June 30, 2020
02:39 PM TST

GBN Torisakia to take over as broadcaster for Torisakia football matches

TOKAI - In a landmark move, GBN Torisakia, a local channel formed between the Gandoor Broadcasting Corporation and Piwcir Corporation, has bought out the broadcasting rights for the Torisakia national association football team and the TSL. A buy-out of over T$55.4 million, this move means that GBN Torisakia will now be the main broadcaster of all Torisakia national team matches and will have first pick for TSL matches. Previously, TSPN held the broadcasting rights for the national team and got first-pick for TSL games, with other networks such as TCBS and TBC also airing TSL matches. This move comes just a week after GBN Torisakia was first established after a broadcasting agreement between Torisakia and Gandoor was made, allowing for the creation of Torisakia's own local channel as well as bringing GBN channels to Torisakia.

GBN Torisakia logo

The move has been met with backlash from the sports world. Many fans have stated that the move to GBN Torisakia is unwarranted given that it remains to be seen if GBN Torisakia will take off in popularity or not. Others say that it becomes a cost concern, as GBN Torisakia is a paid channel that must be ordered through a cable or satellite provider and is not available over-the-air. This is the opposite of TSPN, TCBS, and TBC as they are included in all base television packages for all cable and satellite providers as well as via over-the-air. The move may also impact local channels as well, such as TV66 in Mauraunrisauphphi, CKL that airs Willis matches, given that no word has been made on the allowance of local broadcasts of matches. Another grey area is the Gonzalez Isle market, which was serviced by TSPN Deportes and ST Isla González before the move. GBN Torisakia does not currently broadcast Spanish language programs and it is unlikely they will do so for at least another year. It is possible that TSPN will be allowed to retain Spanish language broadcasts of TSL and national team matches for the time being until a decision is reached. ST Isla González is owned by Radiodifusión González Isla, who has not sold their broadcasting rights and will likely remain as a Spanish language broadcaster for matches, albeit as a paid channel.

GBN Torisakia will likely do a test run during the upcoming TSL season. As of June 30th, around 275,000 households currently have GBN Torisakia as part of their television package. It will be interesting to see how that number grows in the coming months given the move. It is currently unknown if GBN Torisakia will buy-out the broadcasting rights for other sports, such as the TFL and TBA, which are both broadcast by TSPN along with TCBS and TBC. Full details have not yet been released by GBN Torisakia and until they are, TSPN is allowed to broadcast the remaining Torisakia national team games during the 77th Cup of Harmony. It remains unknown if TSPN will be allowed to air any TSL matches this season or if they will air the Megabowl, but it is assumed that GBN Torisakia bought out the rights to that as well.

by **Tequilo** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 12:44 pm

TAPALUPÉ, Tequilo - So many match days, so little time… don’t worry, when you don’t have time for the big read (and we don’t have time for the big write) let the GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!! Daily take the strain - all your favourite bits, in brief. But first - some editorial business:

[RETRACTION]]
We apologise for another publication on our website of an email from one of our staff writers, which was intended as a private communique to the GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!! Editor. We are not sure how this again entered the public domain, but have our suspicions, and we should point out the email does not represent the magazine’s official editorial policy and was removed immediately.¹

And, now on to the business of the day - first, let’s fire up the Copametro and find out how Los Pitxileros did in the Cup of Harmony.

AO! AYAYAYO! Alright, let’s not go any further than that, thank you very much - Ed.
Euran Oceania Territories 2-5 TEQUILO HT: 2-2

Location: Stade Outineau, Outineau [Att: 80,007 ] | Date: Bruming-19.° SB-621
SCORERS: Le Tonnelier 20’ Gerduns 32’ | Tlacolotl 19’ Gorostola 24’ 72’ Tutayan 47’ Vilca Hualla 64’

Player of the Match: Mateo Tafalla (Tequilo)
Booked: Potts, Duffy | Vilca Hualla, Tlacolotl

We said expect goals… and for once, we were right on the money. A thriller in Outineau saw the game tied at half time with the two attacking teams both going for the jugular and cancelling each other out. There were goals galore to make up for the nil-nil draw last game out, with perhaps Tequilo edging the stats at the break. In the second half though, Coach Isaac Martí kept his caution well thrown out to the wind while Skorji Oslograd blinked first, battened down the hatches and put his Skorjiball on ice - only to be instantly undone by Tutayan’s goal more or less from kick-off. The Exiles seemed to lose their belief at this point and Los Pitxileros went on to hit another two unanswered goals and put themselves top of the group, at least for the time being. Four points of the target seven are in the bag, with two games to go, and the football is warming up nicely too.

It could well be the prize match next as Tequilo find themselves surprisingly still in contention for the group win up against the emerging favourites with Mercedini stuttering - Ethane. Coach Martí will be looking to field his strongest side but is forced into three changes with Chicchan, double goalscorer Urlegi Gorostola and captain Mateo Tafalla all nursing minor injuries. Regular stand-in Noxochinoch comes into the back four while young starlet Niño Pinto heads the attacking diamond. Up front experience wins as Roxelio Toran is preferred to young debutant Alexandro Calvoecheaga. Callañuapa comes back into defensive midfield to round off a solid looking team hoping to snatch another result that would surely propel them into the knockout stages.

Starting Line-Up for TEQUILO vs. Ethane:
Bienvenida | Zambo, Apeiztegui (Capitan), Huracán, Noxochinoch | Callañuapa | Vilca Hualla, Niño Pinto, Tutayan | Tlacolotl & Toran

VENUE: Kingswharf, Breton

TRACE AND TRACK
What ever happened to Sam Vallejos?

In recent issues we had managed to track down former players in Tequilo with links back to the countries we were facing in the Cup of Harmony, and miraculously managed to come up with both a Mercedinian and a Euran from the Oceania Territories - incredible. Today we set ourselves the task of finding an Ethani and really felt that would be a comparative walk in the park, with those roaming souls travelling far and wide across the multiverse - according to our man in the map room, Carto de Caül. He said there are Ethanis all the way from McKleigh to Mattijana, and was willing to bet his house there would be dozens of them, historically, who had passed through the Tequilo State Championships on their way to more interesting places with better quality football. If only we had taken him up on that bet - he would be out on the street now and we’d be admiring the view from his living room to the sewage works over the street. But no… like a needle in a haystack, we plumbed the history books for a clue and couldn’t find one. Defeated, and wondering what we would write about in the upcoming Daily issue, we went off to the pub round the corner from the office, and determined to drink ourselves silly to see what we could turn up. Sure enough, we got into a conversation with our good friend Sam Sam the Ethani Bar Man, and complained about our bad day in the office. That’s when he explained why they call him Sam Sam the Ethani Bar Man - because he’s from Ethane. And he used to play football, still does in fact.

We knew we were right to drink ourselves silly - it always pans out just great. Well, mostly. Sometimes anyway. OK, on this occasion we hit the jackpot. Sort of. A bit.

Turns out Sam Sam the Ethani Bar Man, also known as Sam Vallejos, plays for Tapalupé amateur fifth-tier side Remolcador. Yes, we said, we know The Tugboats, but they don’t play state championship, they’re too low down the pecking order. Tell us, we said, that you used to play for Fábrika, or at least Socrates? But no, he had never played professional football. Strictly amateur, nothing too taxing. OK, we pleaded, but you must at least have been a promising youngster on the books of Independiente or Haïtiens, right? Something like that? No? No! Come on Sam Sam, we harangued, at least tell us about that one time in the Copa Tequilo little Remolcador got pitted against mighty Argón Tacranza, and you played against the giants, or even, we conceded we would accept, missed the game through really unfortunate circumstances? No again, Sam Sam told us. We were deflated, he could see it all too easily. If it helps, he offered, do you recall the Selgado brothers at Sociedad Santos? What, we cried, all hopeful - you mean John, Paul and Andy Selgado?! Yes, he said, that’s them! Well, they had a fourth brother, a goalkeeper called Dave, a right clown. Not a patch on the other three - hopeless, in fact. He played in goal for The Tugboats - that’s my claim to fame, for what it’s worth.

Not much, we said, not much… probably about 552 words worth. At a push.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
The Issues That Are Really Grating On You Right Now

‘Orejas Grandes’ writes: - I read with interest in a recent issue of the Daily that a certain L.B of Ciura complained of his constantly having to write in and complain, as if he had no choice in the matter. I could not disagree more - L.B should calm down a bit. Of course everyone has a choice and need not write at all. I personally only write to the editor when I feel like it, every now and then, and it never did me any harm.

We have an international reader! Tord Ratinusk writes all the way from Wight, after reading about poor missing García de Corcoles, who Z.D claims his mum saw in a greengrocers in Ethane: I’m not sure what Z.D’s mum was drinking on holiday in Ethane when she thought she saw García in a greengrocer - they don’t even eat vegetables in Ethane! Anyway, a friend of a friend mentioned that he’s already gone to Wight, so to speak, after being shot at the border in Appalaxia. My friend’s friend has it on good authority from a fisherman he knows from Bonesea who happened to be there on a fishing break, and heard about it from some Delaclavs who were sharing his bait.

Finally, Rubèn Curto from Chanco Cóndor points out: Still nothing on the Touchdown in Kelssek article then? Even though you’ve already reported on one match and probably a second by the time you read this!

Hmm, you might be right, Rubèn. Perhaps the reporter has fallen in with García de Corcoles, somewhere out there in the multiverse. If any of you good people out there want to write in, just address your emails to spambox@gola.teq² - and we may even publish, providing it’s legible.

FOOTNOTES
1Screen-grab copy reads:

From: Cariño Niebla <carino.niebla@gollllllllllllllla.teq>
To: The Chief <editor@gollllllllllllllla.teq>
Cc: The Intern <juan-line.juataguay@gollllllllllllllla.teq>
Subject: SUBJECT

Hey chief,

Thank you for your email, I can see just how annoyed you are and I will be sure to pass that on to my inept assistant, Todaspartes, just as soon as I have completed this email, with a boot to the posterior of the feckless idle layabout. It was very lax of him to allow me to get in such a state with the hotel minibar here at The Grand Polarian, in Burnaby. Clearly I had had a stressful day in customs/custody and was not feeling myself, and I share your imminent disappointment in him when you learn that unfortunately, being a little worse for wear this morning - I’m sure its jet lag rather than minibar lag - we missed the bus to Sherwood and the Tequilo training base. Which does mean, I’m embarrassed to say, that the ‘Touchdown in Kelssek’ piece is still a little way off completion yet.

I have sent Todaspartes off to the bus station to buy new tickets for this afternoon, and rest assured we will go straight to the team hotel and make damned sure we have the piece wrapped before the game against Mercedini, which I am sure will be of great relief to you.

I see my last email made the GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!! website which was a bit embarrassing because it wasn’t intended to be a publish piece - I think that must be a fault in IT and you should definitely have a word. Just for clarity sake, this is also a non-publish text just sent to keep you in the loop. I know you are extremely busy so I have copied in the intern, Juan-Line, so he can relay it to you on the shop floor if you are down in the pit overseeing the typesetting.

2Or TG Tequilo - really, do!

by **TJUN-ia** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 1:00 pm

By Peter Davis

TJUN-ia has completed it's bye after beating Jeruselem 2-0 in Novonaya at the Kelssek side of the CoH. An extra day off is always needed to ensure no one tires themselves out, so the Jaguars will take comfort in that they have the bye is this early into the tournament.

During the bye, a lot of stuff happened. Jeruselem got back to winning ways by thrashing Eraman 4-1 in Burnaby while in Vickery, Sharktail beat Garifunya 1-0. It means that Shartail has a one-point advantage at the top of Group 6, with TJUN-ia and Jeruselem only a point back. Eraman has one and Garifunya has none, but they still have 3 more games to play.

So now we must go to the Federal Captial of this land. Neorvins certainly has a lot to explore but tonight the focus is on its 66,300-capacity Canada Stadium. It is here that we will return to action against Eraman. Eraman is lead by "Mr Eraman" himself, Tun Sengalang Petara - head coach, President of the EFA, chairman of Royal Daulapura Football Club, one of the richest men in the Melayu Archipelago and Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Eraman. Yes, we'll be playing a team lead by the guy who also runs the country.

The key will be to try and find a hole in their 4-1-2-3 formation, while also ensuring that they don't find gaps in our 4-3-3. David Seems made the team watch the 5-5 they had with Sharktail, to show that this team can score when it wants. He knows how big a win would be here and the potential to be 2-0-0 halfway through the Group Stage is certainly achievable if everything goes right. Our first "home game" will be in the Kelssekian capital and my word, it might be important in deciding the fate of these two teams. GO JAGS!

SCHEDULE
MD1: vs Jeruselem (42) - Griffin Park, Novonaya (39,200) W 2-0 (1st)
MD2: BYE
MD3: vs Eraman (60) - Canada Stadium, Neorvins (66,300)
MD4: vs Garifunya (157) - Community Stadium, Arvika (34,700)
MD5: vs Sharktail (109) - Macquarie Docklands, Latrobe (cap. 55,700)

by **Kohnhead** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 1:31 pm

Kohnhead gets good results over the bye

For the second round of matches at the Cup of Harmony, Kohnhead had a bye. As of right now, Kohnhead are still in second place with supposed group favorite New Lusitania dropping to last with another loss at the hands of Eastfield Lodge who follow us in third. Flavovespia coming off of their win against Eastfield Lodge defeated Alba and Cymru the latter of whom were playing their first match of the tournament.

The standings go as follows:

Group 5                   Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Flavovespia                 2   2  0  0    6   1  +5    6
2 Kohnhead                    1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
3 Eastfield Lodge             2   1  0  1    3   4  −1    3
4 Alba and Cymru              1   0  0  1    0   2  −2    0
5 New Lusitania               2   0  0  2    0   3  −3    0

As you can see Kohnhead are in a favorable position, and in our next match we will look to assert ourselves in second with a match against Eastfield Lodge who are ranked 74th compared to our 102nd. We have the momentum and rest we need coming off of a big win against New Lusitania, and we are well rested off of the bye. I'm still feeling nervous as Eastfield Lodge are a very good team and are coming off of a big win against Alba and Cymru. The game will take place at Millenium Park in Redswyth, which is of course in Kelssek as they are our group's hosts.

In the first game played at Millenium Park we saw our old friends Maccian (remember them from our round of 32 BOF game that went to pens) defeat Vdara 5-3 in a high scoring affair. In the second game we saw Northwest Kalactin defeat the Blouman Empire 4-1. What these two games can tell us is not really anything but the winning team has scored a lot so maybe we will score a lot to win tonight, I don't know.

Eastfield Lodge got a goal from Azhaar Morales in their first game and he has been a very good striker for them. Kohnhead's shaky defense will need to try and contain Morales if they want to win. I have confidence the offense can score on the new look defensive formation. Here is our lineup, same as game 1:

by **Alba and Cymru** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 1:47 pm

ԬԬԬ The Celtic Times ԬԬԬ
Bringing a Light to a World in the Dark

June 25, 2020 Edition

Another Loss Makes the Contest Tight
Latrobe, Kelssek

Flavovespia left Maquarie Docklands Stadium following their decisive victory against the home team, Alba and Cymru, with a score of 2-0. The Celts were left bewildered by the crushing defeat, now more worried about their prospect for a Cup of Harmony run. Another loss may mean the end of this season's Celtic football, leaving a trail of sorrow and disappointment in the wake.

The Flavovespians were the first to score, and early, with Ramon Martin flying in from the right side to receive a long pass from Jonathan Feld, slamming the ball into the inner side of the net before goalkeeper Áed MacNeill could even decipher what was going on. It had only been nine minutes into the match when Flavovespia had raised the score to 1-0, and the Alba and Cymru defense was only just beginning to crumble. As the match went on, it was apparent that the Celts were decently outmatched in both skill and stamina. Even with five defenders, Alba and Cymru had to conjure extra effort in order to stop Flavovespia's two strikers. Granted, the away team had extra forwards to keep the ball rolling, but this does not excuse the fact that Alba and Cymru was a man up with a sweeper yet could not keep pace with the opposing offense.

The second goal would come in the following half as a corner kick by Scott Coleman into the Celtic penalty area was intercepted by Teàrlach Levenax, only to be tackled by Steven Hall just seconds later. Within a twinkling of an eye, the ball found itself back into the Celtic net, making the score 2-0 in Flavovespia's favor. Despite the Celtic offense's best efforts, no penetration into the Flavovespian deep field managed any progress. David Meehan held the goal line as if it were his life. Not Lionel Messi produced some well-placed shots that on any good day would have been guaranteed goals, but Meehan was always one step ahead.

With no contest left in regulation, the game ended with a defeated, broken Alba and Cymru. The Celts haven't looked this scrambled since match day 17 in the World Cup Qualifiers. It was a bad omen for sure.

"Defense couldn't do a job today," said sweeper Jarquín Ramos. "One goal against us may be a hiccup, but to score twice means that something's up. This isn't the Alba and Cymru that I've known and played for. I'll be honest, part of this ordeal is my fault. I could've had a tackle here and there, but this is a collective effort, and I know that I wasn't the only one out there making mistakes. If we keep playing this way, we can say goodbye to that cup."

"What we're seeing is a repeat of what happened in the Qualifiers," explained vice-captain Not Lionel Messi. "It took us half the season to begin picking up the pace then, but now we have only three chances left. Matter of fact, we only have one chance left. If we lose again, odds are we won't be seeing the bracket stages of the Cup of Harmony. We'll be one of the 28 losers flying home with our heads in our asses. We can't do this again. We ain't got time to do this again. Three more games. This should be three more wins, but not how we're playing right now. It's time to pick up the pace if we want a chance."

"This is not Alba and Cymru football," stated head coach Coinneach MacDunn. "These are not the players we've seen in the Baptism of Fire. I can barely wrap my head around where we've gone wrong! I've preached day-in and day-out that defense wins football games. I've said it enough times to be a millionaire. I have enough confidence in MacGregor and Messi to do the job up front. I've given almost too many weapons for MacNeill to use however he needs. Yet we're not going anywhere with it! My strikers have too much trouble punching through half-ass defenses, and my defense is trying to decide whether they want the ball or if they wanna play musical chairs! This was quite the embarrasing performance to say the least. All we can do now is regroup and go over our fundamentals. We're losing a game of elementary football. It's not acceptable."

Alba and Cymru will fly to Arvika to take on the struggling New Lusitania at Community Stadium, while Flavovespia will enjoy a bye-day and return on match day four to face New Lusitania.

Game stats for Flavovespia (2-0-0):

Group rank: 1st
Shots: 10
Goals: 2 (David Michael, 8'; Steven Hall, 61')
Possession: 57'
Saves: 7
Fouls: 8
Yellow: 1 (David Blythe, 72')
Red: 0
No notable injuries

Game stats for Alba and Cymru (0-0-1):

Group rank: 4th
Shots: 7
Goals: 0
Possession: 33'
Saves: 8
Fouls: 7
Yellow: 1 (Not Lionel Messi, 22')
Red: 0
No notable injuries

Schedule

MD1 - BYE
MD2 - Flavovespia (66) (2-0-0) @ Macquarie Docklands | Result: L (Alba and Cymru 0-2 Flavovespia)
MD3 - New Lusitania (40) (0-0-2) @ Community Stadium | Result: # (New Lusitania #-# Alba and Cymru)
MD4 - Kohnhead (102) (1-0-0) @ Waterfront Dome | Result: # (Alba and Cymru #-# Kohnhead)
MD5 - Eastfield Lodge (74) (1-0-1) @ Griffin Park | Result: # (Eastfield Lodge #-# Alba and Cymru)
R/32 - TBD

by **South Newlandia** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 1:58 pm

ELEPHANT VALLEY MAIL
Sports -> Soccer
South Newlandia grabs important win

Zeta Reka and Hügeltadom is one of the 56 sides that entered the 72nd Baptism of Fire, the tournament South Newlandia first played Soccer in. Zeta Reka did very well in the tournament, as they went all the way to the final, coming in 2nd place. Along the way, Zeta Reka faced no fewer than four teams South Newlandia also faced, but the teams never met each other until now. The four nations both sides played against were Havynwilde, Valentine Z, Tequilo and Mavinet, the eventual tournament winners that knocked out both teams. After that, Zeta Reka was very successful in the World Cup Qualifiers, finishing 3rd in their group. Because of that, they were ranked 98th going into the Cup of Harmony, just three places ahead of South Newlandia.

Zeta Reka and Hügeltadom 0-1 South Newlandia

This was perceived as one of the most important matches for the Elephants. Because so many third-placed teams move on to the knockouts, a battle between the 3rd and 4th seed will always draw attention, especially when the two are so close in ranking. Zeta Reka hadn’t played a game yet, while the Elephants came of a quite decent draw with Savojarna. Just as the game against Savojarna, this game was a battle between two defensive teams. South Newlandia didn’t have much experience against other defensive teams so far, but the tactics Robert Wolverine came up with seemed to work quite well.

Two defensive teams facing in an important match will always see both teams eager not to make mistakes. This game was no exception, with both teams standing relatively deep for long in the match. In the 28th minute, a long shot by the Rekan midfielder Želmir Kolarowić was caught by Mikhail Trischuk, and another shot by Finnley Wallis missed the Rekan goal by just a bit.

Just before half-time, South Newlandia pushed for a goal again. Brandon Irving was in the box trying to get past Stanko Yakowić. He tried a tackle, and Irving fell. The referee pointed to the penalty point instantly, prompting protests by the Rekan players. The videos show that Yakowić hit the ball by a little bit, but he also hit Irving hard, seemingly trying to take him down. It was one of these penalties you can give, but you don’t have to.

Either way, the Elephants got a fantastic chance to take the lead. Simon McCabe took the penalty, and sent Bosko Nowak into the wrong corner to bring South Newlandia the lead in the 43rd minute.

With that, the first half was over, and the Elephants were in the lead seemingly out of thin air. Robert Wolverine seemed very content, as his team played a very equal match against a strong opponent and even lead it. He decided to make a defensive change, taking Finnley Wallis out of the game for Tommy Anderson.

The second half proved the big weakness of the Zeta Reka; if they do get behind, it is very hard for them to get back. In the Baptism of Fire, they solved that by not conceding any goals before the semi-finals, but now, they would have to come up with something to break another strong defense.

Zeta Reka struggled to get through against strongly defending Elephants, and it took them until the 59th minute to get a good chance. A nice play over the left side got Želmir Kolarowić into a great position, but his nice shot was directed above the crossbar by Trischuk.

In the 65th minute, Raphael Moreno started limping. There hadn’t been a foul, but he seemed hurt and was soon taken of the pitch. Because of Moreno’s injury, Gustafe Wright got to his debut earlier than he might have expected. He took the place as Right Back with twenty-one minutes remaining on the clock.

Zeta Reka didn’t give up, but good defending and some additional saves by Mikhail Trischuk secured the clean sheet and the win for the Elephants. The game was obviously decided by that penalty and may have developed very differently without it. Nevertheless, it propels South Newlandia into tied first place with Savojarna, despite both teams having scored just a single goal. On the upcoming bye-day, South Newlandia will have time to relax a bit, and we will figure out why Raphael Moreno had to leave the pitch. In that time, South Newlandia will definitely lose first place, but they still have all chances to make the knockout rounds.

Player Rankings

Mikhail Trischuk (GK, Captain) 9
He got another clean sheet in another great game.

Dhruv Roy (LB) 8

Jack Schroeder (LCB) 7

Manuel O’Neill (RCB) 8

Raphael Moreno (RB) 8
He played quite well until his injury; we wish him a well recovery.

Kevin Mohamed (DM) 8

Corban Green (LM) 6
He didn’t perform well against this very defensive team.

Patrick McMora (RM) 6
Both players on the wings didn’t do well.

Finnley Wallis (OM) 7

Brandon Irving (ST) 7

Simon McCabe (ST) 8
Apart from the scored penalty, he wasn’t that effective.

Tommy Anderson (CB) 8
He managed to stabilize the defense even more.

Gustafe Wright (RB) 8
He got a solid debut and had his part in the victory.

Results for Group 11, Matchday 2

Savojarna (59) 1-0 Electrum (128)
Savojarna got the win they needed, and Electrum desperately needs a win now after losing two games without scoring any goals.

Zeta Reka and Hügeltadom (98) 0-1 South Newlandia (101)

Current standings

* Group 11                            Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Savojarna                             2   1  1  0    1   0  +1    4
  South Newlandia                       2   1  1  0    1   0  +1    4
3 Timuria                               1   1  0  0    2   0  +2    3
4 Zeta Reka and Hügeltaldom             1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0
5 Electrum                              2   0  0  2    0   3  −3    0

Schedule for Group 11, Matchday 2

Electrum (128) vs. Zeta Reka and Hügeltadom (98)
It’s the duel between the two teams on zero points. Whoever loses this is probably out already, as both teams need to catch up now.

Timuria (44) vs. Savojarna (59)
The other game is the duel between the two top teams, and whoever wins should be in the knockout rounds after that. The winner of the game will also lead the group after three matchdays.

South Newlandia, meanwhile, will have a bye day. They have time to relax in Trink, and they have announced to reveal Raphael Moreno’s injury status soon. After the bye, they will face Electrum.

by **Flavovespia** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 2:27 pm

A second win in the group puts Flavovespia in a great position to continue on to the knockout stages of the Cup of Harmony 77. 2 goals in either half for Flavovespia settled Alba and Cymru were hopeful for a close game, looking to nick a point or even three, but in the end, they couldn’t get their debut in the Cup of Harmony off to a dream start.

An unchanged line up for Flavovespia took to the field in Macquarie Docklands situated in Latrobe. Plenty of Flavovespians had travelled north in Kelssek, a sea of yellow in the grandstands. Flavovespia of course lining up in their yellow shirts, black shorts and black socks, against the Sky Blue, Green and Orange of Alba and Cymru.

The game started with a fast tempo, Flavovespia keen to use their pace up front to try and open up the scoring, Alba and Cymru confident they could feed the ball to their strong attacking duo. The quick pace of the game saw the opener come just 9 minutes into proceedings. Jonathan Feld down the left wing found the space to whip in a cross. There was plenty of pace and dip on the ball, and it was met by Ramon Martin at the far post. His shot was fierce, straight across the goal and into the net on the other side, opening the scoring. 0-1 for Flavovespia, just the start they wanted against the debutants.

Much of the first half followed a similar pattern. The defence of Alba and Cymru, despite being plentiful in numbers, seemed to struggle to keep pace with the Flavovespia attack. Critics could argue that Flavovespia deserved more goals in the first half, but ultimately couldn’t double up before half-time.

The half-time break was the chance for both sides to regroup. Flavovespia focusing on how to keep the lead and find themselves more goal, Alba and Cymru focusing on how to get back in the game and fix their defence. The debutants were probably more thankful though for the break in proceedings.

The start of the second half seemed to follow much of the first half. The Alba and Cymru defence still looked unsettled, although they were getting more balls forward and more pressure on Flavovespia’s defence, fashioning out a few chances of their own.
However, Flavovespia got their second just after the hour mark. From a corner, Teàrlach Levenax had the ball at feet. Trying to play it out of the box, Steven Hall quickly dispossessed Levenax. Hall was then in a great position to shoot, he did, and the shot was into the corner of the net. 0-2, and for Flavovespia, the victory was looking ever closer.

Alba and Cymru were down but not yet out. They probably had their best chance of the second half in the 68th minute. Not Lionel Messi managed to dribble clear of David Blythe, and hit a great shot. However David Meehan was wise to it, and did enough to tip it over the bar, to deny Alba and Cymru their first goal at the Cup of Harmony. Blythe would be booked not long later for clipping Not Lionel Messi, and the defender would be subbed off for Stephen Shepherd.

There were some half chances late on at either end, but nothing decisive. The game needed a late goal to spark back into life, but David Meehan was equal to the efforts of Not Lionel Messi. At the other end, few risks were taken, although late substitute Christopher Ace tried a speculative 30 metre effort that did almost dip dangerously. Flavovespia comfortably held on, for a 0-2 win as the full time whistle blew.

For Flavovespia, it was a very good performance, maybe not quite reaching great levels, but nevertheless they’re top on 6 points. They’ll go into their bye buoyed by the start they’ve made, and know the route to the knockout stages looks much clearer for them. It’s too early yet to consider what they can do if they make it to that stage, but cautious optimism is surrounding the camp. For Alba and Cymru, they certainly gave it a good go, and with Group 5 still wide open, have every chance of qualifying for the knockout stages.

In the other Group 5 game, Eastfield Lodge took a surprise 2-0 win over New Lusitania. The Pot 1 team have not got going at all so far, and with 2 losses already, are looking dangerously close to potentially going out at the first stage. Their next match against Alba and Cymru is absolutely critical for them to stand a chance of qualifying, before they of course face Flavovespia in their final match, and Flavovespia’s penultimate match. Flavovespia will have to wait and see after their bye what position their Pot 1 opponents are in for that match-up in Breton.

by **Ethane** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 2:28 pm

Big game against group leaders to come

Perhaps the greatest threat to Ethane's group winning efforts is Tequilo. One of the stronger teams to emerge from the Baptism of Fire this cycle - just missing out on the final, but the team with the more promising future in my books - ended up in our group for this CoH. This, of course, is not the first time that the Red Kites have witnessed Tequilo play - they of course played their 3rd place playoff game in our nation - but is the first time that they have properly played each other.

With Mercedini struggling to get off the mark slightly, Ethane and Tequilo seem favourites to win the group; though other teams cannot be counted out this early. Both teams will surely want a result from this game, especially Tequilo who have played one more game than the Red Kites.

Tequilo have form. After a strong Baptism of Fire debut in international football and a decent first world cup qualifying campaign, Tequilo have showed they are not a team to shy away on the big stage. And they are a team that can score big - 5 goals against Euran Oceania Territories suggests the Red Kites defence will have to be on the top of their game.

But they can be exploited. They let up two goals against the oceanic territories of Eura, despite overwhelmingly dominating the game. They're not defensively sure all the time, and there are gaps to exploit, if the Red Kites play it right and don't let the pressure get to them.

This is more of a must win game for Tequilo with the Red Kites holding a game in hand, but it is likely that whichever group wins this game will win the group. So we should be in for a good game.

My money is on the Red Kites just winning it, though I expect it to be close. Tequilo have a solid attacking lineup, but defensively are not overly sound (although they're not necessarily bad either). The Red Kites have defensive history on their side, and a defensive lineup to match, albeit with a poor record in some more recent games, the most memorable being that game against Nephara last cycle or the previous one which Nephara put nine past the Red Kites; so there are cracks.

Keep your eyes peeled on this game.

by **Valladares** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 2:39 pm

OOC disclaimer: Since Barunia has not yet posted a roster for the CoH, for this RP I'll be using their roster and permissions for the World Cup, which are linked on the CoH OP.

La Nacional Beat the Suns to Take Lead in CoH Group 12

KEPPAL CITY, ZWANGZUG (VAP) — The Valladar national football team picked up their first victory in the 77th Cup of Harmony by downing the Barunia Suns with a 3-1 score and two first half goals by Wilfried Baume and Aymeric Fortin. Compared to their high-scoring début against Newmanistan, La Nacional showed some improvement in defense that allowed them to hold on to their lead in the scoreboard and remain in control of the match, successfully withstanding a strong charge from Barunia in the second half.

Unlike what happened in the match against Newmanistan, in which the rival took advantage of the Valladars' early slugginess to jump to a quick two-goal advantage, the side coached by Paulo Oliveira was not willing to allow any early surprises from the Barunians, who were playing their first match of the tournament after having a bye in the first day of competition, and started firing on all cylinders against the goal defended by John Taylor. Barunia's right wing was particularly exploited by Arley Barrios, who in the 20th minute provided a well-executed cross for Wilfried Baume to score the first goal of the day and put Valladares in the lead. Whilst the Suns tried to react to this goal and had two chances to equalize which Paulo Gaviria was able to clear without much trouble, La Nacional managed to hit again in the 35th minute with a counterattack finished by Aymeric Fortin and extending the gap with the Suns at halftime to two goals.

The second half saw a more conservative Valladar side, which mostly resorted to defend the two-goal lead while also waiting for another chance to hurt Barunia with a stinging counterattack, and handed over ball possession and initiative to the Suns. The Barunians seized the opportunity, as expected, but were unable to do much damage to the Valladar defense for the first 20 minutes, with Leonardo Rojas and Christian O'Brien constantly retreating to form a backline of five. However, things changed in the 66th minute, as Paulo Oliveira substituted O'Brien for Olympique de Fontvielle player Gaëtan Malicki, who at the beginning struggled to comply with his defensive task. This was capitalized by Barunia as the Suns finally found a breakthrough four minutes later, with striker Thomas Elwin pulling one back for the side coached by Rafael Barrios. This goal boosted Barunian spirits as they pushed harder for an equalizer and slowly cornered La Nacional into their own half of the field. Oliveira then decided to switch his formation to a more conventional 4-4-2, sacrificing a striker (Fortin) for the sake of reinforcing the defense with Thiago Matheus, which relieved both Rojas and especially Malicki from their exhausting job of retreating to the back. And to put the icing to the cake, just when the Suns were on an all-out attack, the Valladars had their chance at another blitzing counterattack which ended up in the third and final goal of the day for La Nacional, courtesy of substitute striker Aiden Pearson with 5 minutes to go.

This win for Valladares, combined with Newmanistan's loss to West Pocono and Geektopia's bye this matchday lifted La Nacional to first place in Group 12 with 4 points, leaving Barunia in last place with no points after their first match. Next up, the Valladars will be having their bye day, while the Suns will be hoping to bounce back against West Pocono in Forbridge and Newmanistan and Geektopia will be playing each other in Keppal, looking to take a decisive step towards the next round.

Barunia 1-3 Valladares
(Elwin 70'; Baume 20', Fortin 35', Pearson 85')

Valladares: Gaviria - Pedretti, Delgado, Rueda - Rojas, O'Brien, Mickel, Barrios - Baume, Alexandre, Fortin
Subbed Out: Alexandre 59', O'Brien 66', Fortin 78'
Subbed In: Pearson 59', Malicki 66', Matheus 78'
Unused Subs: Dussan, Marrugo, Waldo, Castillo, Lachlant, Padilla, Núñez, Benezet, Cross
Manager: Paulo Oliveira

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by **Timuria** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 2:50 pm

Who Is Bekir Altingunes? A Profile

by Ihsan Mehmedov

While so many of us enjoy watching the national football team play, many of us don't spare a thought for the man who has so far been their only manager and has entertained, disappointed and delivered euphoria at times to a country adapting to its transition to being a more open and internationally orientated country. The role the national football team has played in acclimating and introducing Timuria to the wider world is something that's often overlooked, the Super League boasts a plethora of foreign born players who entertain the people every match and many speculate the Super League's professionalisation would never have accelerated in the way it did without Bekir Altingunes.

But who is Bekir Altingunes? The former Agriculture Minister is a deeply private figure, who seems to resent the press's attention, only ever giving the bare minimum in post match interviews and preferring the confines of his office and the training pitch. What little we know about his private life is from his career in politics, we know he was married, but no longer is after the tragic passing of his wife. We know that he's a slightly laboured orator, often saying things in a way that can uncharitably be described as a "word salad" but beyond that the most important figure in Timurian football to date is an enigma.

Naturally our requests for an interview were met with heavy resistance, so we will mostly be compiling this profile by speaking to colleagues in football. A manager in the Super League who wanted to remain anonymous said "He's always very courteous and hears out our concerns about our players. Of course he knows that we have to win as well as him and that's why often we need to communicate about the fitness of our players and precautions. He's never been particularly friendly beyond professional courtesy, but that's understandable given the pressure of his job."

One of his players did give us a comment on the manager, national team captain Ertan Renda said, "He's very much a player's manager, I know that's not the impression he likes to give, but he genuinely listens to us and makes sure that we're all on the same page which is essential. I have to be honest, there are times when you wonder whether the passion is there, but he always knows just how to get us prepared and ready for the big matches." Asked about whether he thought Mr Altingunes should get a contract extention, the reply was instant, "Yes. There's no one else I think that could do this job as well as he has and he deserves that chance."

Finally we turned to his current assistant manager, Senol Tarimcioglu who is the elder of the pair and plays a large part in the analytical side of the national team's operation, when commenting on Bekir he said, "I've had to work with a lot more people than you'd maybe expect since I work at both club and international level. The level of care and attention to detail Bekir has, not just on the football side of it, you see that in the performances, but in how he treats the players and speaks to them." He recalled a moment involving starting keeper Iskender Nur, "He took him aside when there were the rumours he was going to quit and gave him the best advice, which is that you should do what you enjoy. Iskender took that advice, clearly it paid off because he's the record transfer out of Timuria and is now the undisputed number one keeper. Otherwise he said he was going to become a teacher."

We managed to catch Mr Altingunes as we were leaving the interview, he didn't offer us any words, but simply nodded before entering his office located at the national team's training facility. In a way that was the most apt summary of the man we could find, yes he's a key figure, but the picture we had painted for us was a man who wanted to get on with his job and cared about those that he had to manage. In a way that is the ideal of what this country stands for and has stood for, making him an all the more suitable figure to lead it's one prominent national sports team. His fate now depends on the Football Federation and how they feel about extended his contract. He is locked down until the AOCAF and for all the rumours of players seeking to make a move abroad, might Mr Altingunes be the first Timurian manager to take that step?

by **Astograth** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 3:12 pm

Previously

Astograth 1-0 Port Ember
Spenson, Zwangzug. Stelladome.

Lineup: Anzizar, Remondegi, Leskerre, Doyenard, Lizarza, Lekea ©, Gurina, Berdesagar, Malkorra, Duarte, Urdanibia
Substitutions: Aragolaza for Malkorra, Sorrosua for Duarte, Ibargengoitia for Berdesagar
Goalscorer: Lekea

Huayramarca 0-0 Astograth
Twineur, Zwangzug. The Bug House.

Lineup: Anzizar, Remondegi, Leskerre, Doyenard, Lizarza, Lekea ©, Urkizo, Berdesagar, Malkorra, Duarte, Urdanibia
Substitutions: Arana for Urkizo, Ibargengoitia for Berdesagar, Aragolaza for Malkorra

Azeari Duarte could feel his heart beating in his ears. His whole body ached, but there wasn’t any time to stop – they were past the 90 minute mark, and this wretched match was still scoreless. If he stopped, he might also feel cold; the pouring rain of Twineur had thoroughly soaked players and pitch.

The ref had given four minutes of injury time, and by the wild gestures of the bench, they were nearing the end of that. Down the length of the field, goalkeeper Anzizar kicked off with a short, fast pass to Doyenard. Vaudrail had drilled them to never do long goal kicks – they couldn’t risk gambling possession. Doyenard advanced, passing to Lizarza on his right as Huayramarca’s Tello closed him down. This late in the match, the Condors still kept up their intense pressing. Lizarza moved quickly, flinging a pass to Aragolaza before running past him on the inside and receiving the 1-2. The team had shifted to 4-4-2 at half-time, subbing on forward Arana for midfielder Urkizo and pulling back the three attacking midfielders, Duarte included. Getting into the Huayramarcan half hadn’t proven quite as hard as getting off shots, and the new tactic still wasn’t enough. If, after a few seconds of intense pressing, they hadn’t won the ball back, Huayramarca would retreat into their half, crowding around the box and making it nigh impossible to pull off manoeuvres.

As Lizarza continued into Huayramarca’s half, Duarte advanced cautiously, leaving Lekea to play off Lizarza and looking to form one of the triangles they’d practiced under Vaudrail. Throughout the match he specifically had been man-marked by Nicolás Allauca, who was not quite as scary as his enormous partner Orlando Mina but was at least twice as unpleasant. A true ‘shithouse’, as some would say – rough around the edges and sure to roll around on the ground after fouling you.

Duarte was the team’s fulcrum, or at least was supposed to be. This was easier in a 4-2-3-1, playing this far back and with only Lekea to back him up in the midfield threw him off. From a glance toward the box, he could guess Urdanibia was trying to concentrate as much attention as possible to the far post, to make it look like he was expecting a long cross, while Arana snuck down to link up with the midfield.

Lekea had the ball now, down the middle. Mina shadowed him, but couldn’t get a tackle in. Duarte ran past Allauca, running toward his own goal, and received a pass from Lekea that he swiftly turned around and returned, allowing his partner to slip through a Mina and Allauca who’d stopped and lost their marks. Duarte didn’t miss a beat and ran back toward Huayramarca, parallel to Lekea, who kept the defence guessing whether he’d go left with Ibargengoitia or right with Duarte. He passed to Duarte, a couple of meters out of the box.

Ahead of him was Arana, moving out of the way and pulling just enough of the defence to open up a chance for a shot. It was a split second decision between passing or shooting, and Duarte took to heart what he’d heard at half-time about ‘just shooting already’. He pulled back his left leg and was slammed on the left side of his body by someone, who also had the kindness of sticking the point of their elbow into his ribs. The ref sounded their whistle immediately, and Duarte did his part by clutching the sides of his chest and rolling over, stamping his feet against the grass. A card at this point was no advantage, but you took whatever you could. He felt the rain stop, then hands on his back and head. Someone leaned in face to face. “Stay down”. Lekea.

A crowd of arguing players formed around him, Astograth demanding a red card, Huayramarca saying it wasn’t a foul – and Allauca, himself on the ground, insisting he was the one who’d been fouled. The referee, to their credit, proved capable of defusing the situation. Their final ruling was a clear foul but no booking, which only made Allauca all the more infamous across Astograth. Some clubs in Echegoyan were definitely taking note.

Duarte stood up, massaging his ribs. He’d won a last-minute free kick on the edge of the box. A free kick which he was the designated taker of. It was in great position to take it left-footed, curling into the corner. If he did it right, the keeper didn’t stand a chance. Duarte had practiced this hundreds, thousands of times. It was his trademark.

The referee handed him the ball. Slick with rain, specks of grass and mud stuck to it. Duarte stuck it under his shirt and wiped, more out of habit than any real use. He set it down a step behind the spot marked by the ref, which he didn’t get away with; after some angry whistle blows, he was forced to place it properly. Huayramarca set up a standard wall, the Astograthian players pantomimed that they were waiting for a cross – everyone and their mother knew that wasn’t happening. Duarte stepped back, picturing the movement in his head, slapping his thighs as if to activate that muscle memory. This was all technique, all training. He was back home, practicing free kicks against Royal Rumiatzi’s backup keeper in a warm, roofed training pitch, instead of this cold, wet, floodlit night in Twineur. He ran up to the ball and kicked, saw it fly over the wall, over the heads of the players rushing to meet it, and over the keeper’s outstretched fingers. And just before Duarte slipped on his back, he saw the ball fly right over the crossbar too.

by **Port Ember** » Thu Jun 25, 2020 3:23 pm

Top Score Magazine: Exclusive Online Article
A Look At The Clubs of the New Port Ember Football Association Premier League

As discussed during the article ”The Launch of the New Port Ember Football Association Premier League, thirteen new Football Clubs have been established and registered, whom will form part of the brand shiny new Port Ember Football Association Premier League this year directly following the conclusion of the 77th Cup of Harmony. As promised, we will release an article to introduce each new Club with every issue of Top Score Magazine (Online).

Just to serve as a reminder, each club who is now registered within the Port Ember Football Association Premier League has met the following requirements:

1. The applying club must appoint a Head Coach who has passed a International Accredited Coaching Clinic.

2. The applying club must own a stadium which can seat at minimum 50 000 spectators.

3. The applying club must ensure that this stadium maintains all utilities which would be considered up to international standard.

4. The applying club must establish and maintain training facilities which adheres to international standards.

5. The applying club must establish and maintain medical facilities which adhere to international standards.

6. The applying club must establish and maintain a merchandising and equipment factory which adheres to international standards.

7. The applying club must establish and maintain a Youth Academy which adheres to international standards.

Without further ado - the introduction of the next club...

Gold Coast Raiders FC

Geographical Center of the Club: Port Ember Megalopolis; Gold Coast Borough.
Home Stadium of the Club: Golden Sands Stadium
Team Colors: Gold
Main Sponsor: Port Ember Yacht Builders Ltd
Team Manager: Erwann Archer

Signed Players:
Goalkeeper: Zachary Clark
Goalkeeper: Elvis Way
Defender: Josh Richards
Defender: Ivor Stacy
Defender: Gaz Bourne
Defender: Petro Michel
Defender: Jimmy Bloodworth
Defender: Maximillian Plank
Defender: Jip Clarkson
Defender: Mayson McClellan
Midfielder: Philip MacLean
Midfielder: Liam Grimshaw
Midfielder: Curt Matthews
Midfielder: Finnbar Cox
Midfielder: Elias Hawk
Midfielder: Uilliam Randell
Midfielder: Mathúin Porter
Midfielder: Eachann Coumans
Forward: Luke Drees
Forward: Irving Ó Broin
Forward: Lukas Davis
Forward: Redd Glazier

Star Players signed:
Defender: Josh Richards
Midfielder: Liam Grimshaw.

This Club managed to sign two Star Players ahead of the first season – Defender Josh Richards, and Defensive Midfielder Liam Grimshaw. Josh Richards is a Starting XI Defender for the national squad, and has been a part of the national squad since its inception in the form of the Port Ember Youth Development Program. Josh is not considered one of the greatest defenders in the game today, but he is still a very good and intimidating defender. It is expected that Josh will bring the culture of physical and aggressive defense to his club. Liam Grimshaw is a bench defensive midfielder for the national squad (also there from the inception), and has potential to be selected to represent the Staring XI in the near future. What is awesome however, is the great chemistry between Josh and Liam, and this will surely be an awesome boost to this club.

A Word

This club seems to have a strategy to place some emphasis on boosting a sort of defensive play, evident with the signing of Star Defender Josh Richards, and Defensive Midfielder Liam Grimshaw. The team managed to sign Port Ember Yacht Builders Ltd as their head sponsor, which is a great sign that there is potential in this squad’s ability to rise to the top. I hope that this club manages to develop their defensive capability during the season, in order for an improved defensive capability being transferred to the national squad.

About the Home Town

The Gold Coast Borough of Port Ember Megalopolis is situated on the idyllic eastern stretch of coast of the super city, known for two things: Being the playground of the rich and famous, and its kilometer upon kilometer of ‘golden beaches’. The players, staff and fans alike are a lot less rowdy than some other club populace, due to being considered mostly upper class wealthy citizens.

About the Stadium

The Golden Sands Stadium is a modern grass & luxury stadium which seats 50 000 spectators. Whilst the stadium is not a very large one (its size meets the bare minimum of being classified as an international stadium according to the new PEFA regulations), it is a luxurious one with many Executive Suites, reflecting the wealthy upper class nature of the geographical area.

Kit Revealed

Accepted Clubs of the PEFA Premier League:

- Waterstad Pirates FC (Covered in Issue 1)
- Lilly Black Kings FC (Covered in Issue 2)
- Gold Coast Raiders FC
- Blacklake FC
- Greenfields Bulls FC
- Nirvana FC
- Eden FC
- Thurston FC
- Thurston Bergians FC
- Amanaki FC
- Amanaki Coast FC
- Beras City FC
- Real Beras FC

Port Ember Times Online
Cup of Harmony 77: Match Day 2 Quick Recap

Port Ember vs Torisakia

Player Scores

(GK)(#1) Peter Smith: 6/10
(CB)(#2) Josh Richards: 6/10
(CB)(#3) Jason Lee: 6/10
(LB)(#4)Alex Kuhn: 6/10
(RB)(#5)Russel Pierce: 6/10
(AM)(#10): William Carvello:[/b] 7/10
[b](DM)(#6): Steven Packard: 7/10
(LM)(#8): Jason Chamberlain: 7/10
(RM)(#11): Eric Tosaír of the Tribe of Waterford: 8/10
(CF)(#7) Leon Moult: 8/10
(CF)(#9)Danny Nicovic: 9/10
Substitutes:
(CF)(#22)Steven Packard: 6/10

Goals for The Match:
Port Ember: Danny Nicovic
Torisakia: None.

Player of the Match:
Port Ember: Danny Nicovic

Post Match Quote from Port Ember Coach
"This was a close and hard fought for victory. Whilst I am glad and grateful for the win, we obviously need to work harder if we wish to redeem ourselves in this tournament...!" - 'Major' Kent Block - Port Ember Head Coach & Manager

Starting Line Up for Matchday 03: Poafmersia vs Port Ember:
(GK)(#1) Peter Smith
(CB)(#2) Josh Richards
(CB)(#3) Jason Lee
(LB)(#4)Alex Kuhn
(RB)(#5)Russel Pierce
(AM)(#10): William Carvello
(DM)(#6): Steven Packard
(LM)(#8): Jason Chamberlain
(RM)(#11): Eric Tosaír of the Tribe of Waterford
(CF)(#7) Leon Moult
(CF)(#9)Danny Nicovic

Blood, Sweat & Glory - Part 19

Diary of Danny Nicovic

Entry 2

Dear Diary

So my diary keeping project continues... I still think its lame to be honest, but what can I say, I'm frickin Danny 'Golden Child' Nicovic! Whatever task I take on - I will CRUSH!

So after we lost our opening match against the team of Astograth, we travelled back to our floating city slash floating Football training ground - the PEFAS Argie SilverPine. A fun fact which many folk do not know about our modern maritime marvel - the origin of its name. Now many people from all across the world has read up and studied our ship, since its obviously a bloody novelty, shaping the future of football and maritime engineering alike. However, the world does not really know the origin of the name. So let me share that secret with you. The PESF part is obvious - Port Ember Football Association Ship. Now the Argie SilverPine part. When the Port Ember Youth Development Program was established, 30 of the 40 chosen children was residents in a local orphanage home as orphans (including yours truly mind you) - and the name of this one special home for the forgotten children of the world - SilverPine. Most orphans in the world always has a strong feeling of hate for their root Orphanage home, but I dont think any of us 30 lads do. The SilverPine Orphanage home was an absolute saint, with folk who truly loved us like their own children, intent to develop us all to our greatest possible self. Now, for the Argie part, every afternoon at 16h00 sharp, the entire home would come to a stand still, and each and every orphan, teacher, cook and cleaner would amass in the dining hall to watch the show which would appear on TV - Argie The Pirate Monkey. This cartoon was about a crazy little monkey named Argie who roamed the streets and oceans of ancient Port Ember in order to terrorize and take the fight against "The Crown" and their evil liberty hating forces. It was a very lighthearted show since it was a children's cartoon, yet it was brilliant. It served the purpose of creating structure and unity within the home of orphans, and we never missed a show until the day we left the Home after turning into adults. Coach Baxter chose the combination of the names Argie and SilverPine as a sort of honor of our shared heritage, a wonderful gesture which will stand the test of time - much like that crazy little monkey Argie. Agh, I miss that crazy old fool Coach.

So, anyway, when we got back to the ship, we expected another motivational speech from Coach 'Major' Kent Block, since despite his legendary temper and anger - he has never lost his shit with us. At times we could clearly see he was pissed at us, but I think he pitied us for the string of deaths we suffered lately. He always just tells us that we played shit and we are not actually shit, so let's work a bit harder mmmkay? Haha. This time however, it seems his anger won the argument between itself and his patience, as he spent quite a few moments of telling us that we played shit and we were acting like privileged entitled idiots. He made it clear that we could no longer hide behind the excuse of the recent spate of death and misery, and we had to start to man up and take charge of our lives. What followed was an actual military physical punishment session, and even though we are fit - we suffered. Hell I even vomited from the session. We were all pissed at the Major. We felt that he had no right to speak to us like he did, and that he cared absolutely naught for us. But ultimately he was right. And we realized it. We won't ever say it to his face - but we knew it.

When we ran onto the pitch to face off against Torisakia, we very much kept the Coach's speech ingrained onto our very souls. We could no longer blame the world for our poor form, we were the only ones who could mold our futures. And so we did. Now we were still very far from being back to our top form, but we did well. We kept the game running, kept an excellent passing midfield dominance style in play, and ultimately just frustrated and exhausted our opponents out, like we used to in the good old days. I managed to finish the game in a win for us when I scored, set up by Leon Moult somewhere around minute 75.

Seems we just needed a proper reality check.

Cheers diary man. (lol that's still so lame).

Cup of Harmony 77 - everything thread

CoH-77 RP-3 MD-2

Boot It!: O Canada, We Stand On Guard For Thee

Celtic Times, 25 June 2020

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