Farfadillis is probably best defined as a nation of contradictions: contradictions that live in perfect harmony. The Outlandish Lands' citizens tend to be chaotic, generally by nature. They're mostly irreverent, careless (even reckless), prone to setting things on fire and watching in awe and overall just not entirely there mentally, at least coming at them from the perspective of a different culture. Of course, not all Farves are like this, but it's definitely a marked pattern. You'll perhaps notice, for example, that the country is in a state of complete anarchy. Classic Farfadillis. Things have gotten better ever since Banija unintentionally nuked us, however. Don't ask about that, if possible; it's a whole thing.
But wait! "How do things work?" You might be asking yourself. Well, fear not, for amidst the chaos that stems from total societal collapse, there was one infamous organization that seemed unfazed: the Freisan Farf Freitball Francitian, better known as the FFFF. The FFFF embodies all of the worst qualities of Farf idiosyncracy, and chances are it will show in how it organizes this tournament.
Also, Farfadillis is composed of at least nine very distinct ethnic groups: the Ferdullaelans, the Farolerans, the Rulandese, the Szoirsians, the Indujans, the Kruviši, the Fröndti, the Tanazzans and the Karinthians. Nowadays, pick any two of them and chances are they viscerally hate each other, with a few notable exceptions. Bizarrely, they leave all differences aside when it comes to the national team. Just bear the ethnic tension in mind when in Farfadillis.
The fauna that has developed over millions of years inside the island is very much unlike outside it, so do bear that in mind. If you hear about "radiation-eating snakes", don't laugh; you'll look like an idiot. Imagine how you'd think of someone who laughed at someone believing in the existence of regular snakes. Also, be specially wary of the frogs whose poison sends you straight to hell.
Fittingly, Farf football is obsessed with reckless attacking football; Farf crowds will often get bored if your team is defensive, so expect aggressiveness from some of them if your team is boring. If your team is entertaining, however, expect the Farf crowd to cheer you on.
We hope you enjoy your stay.
Ferdullaele
What used to be the capital state. Ferdullaele is a state located in the northeast of the island. The most fertile land is there and, as a result, it is suspected that they've always been ahead of the rest of the pack economically. This has translated into a healthy dose of cultural hegemony: all Farves must learn Ferdullaelan, as it is the lingua franca of the island. Almost all companies used to be managed from Ferdullaele, and the government officials were generally from there as well. About twenty years ago, the situation escalated into a revolution and things became only worse from there. Nowadays, Ferdullaele is still the richest place in Farfadillis, but it has also had its quality of life affected the most out of all the nations: they used to have pretty much a first-world quality of life, and they now live in utter chaos. Ferdullaelans are currently the most hated and resented ethnicity in Farfadillis. They tend to look up to foreigners, too, so expect them to be very friendly to your country's tourists.
La FantásCapacity: 70,000
Matches: HUElavia v Farfadillis, HUElavia v Zwangzug, Zwangzug v Farfadillis, EF1 v EF2
The biggest stadium in Farfadillis, home to the national team. It is situated in the capital, Ferdullaele, where most terrorist attacks happen. It used to have a whopping 100,000 seats, but ever since the you-know-what, the north-eastern stand has been inexplicably on fire, so that's one-fourth of the seats gone, plus those too close to the fire to be considered safe by Farf standards. And yes, those exist. Nobody can quite explain how the stand has managed to continue burning for about seven years. Pagan religions are common in Farfadillis, and they mostly venerate fire, so if you ask around you'll likely get some magical explanations. We are not saying the God of Fire is raining its wrath upon Ferdullaele, but we
are saying that stand should've stopped burning long ago. Or, at least, the fire should've propagated to the other stands. We are also saying that if La Fantás were a map of Farfadillis, it would be Ferdullaele that is burning. Again, speculation, but worth pointing out. We've gone on a tangent now. Anyway, huge stadium, fire, don't get burned, don't involve yourself with the surrounding ethnic tension.
La SnerraCapacity: 100,000
Matches: Zwangzug v Turori, Farfadillis v Turori, Turori v HUElavia, EF3 v EF4
La Snerra was the national team's home in the early days, but got promptly abandoned when the much more modern La Fantás was built. Nonetheless, stadia are in short supply in Farfadillis nowadays, so the heretofore abandoned stadium will be making a comeback around forty years since it was last used. Yes, it may be rusty and unsafe, but at least it's not on fire, and it can fit in a lot of people. There are only seats for 20,000 people, though, which could prove problematic.
Fröndt
Fröndt is a very mountainous region, and most urban centers are in those mountains. The weather is extremely dry and cold, and the fauna is unforgiving. Flying jellyfish abound nowadays. The Fröndti are typically more hard-working and level-headed than other Farves - or so they like to believe - and think of themselves as the reasonable, neutral people of the island. The rest of the island disagrees. They've had trouble with the extremely harsh winters and the flying jellyfish lately, but they're a resilient bunch, so they've adapted to the times. Expect a lot of high-calorie foods and cussing, if you can understand the language.
Den Mytologiska ManeterCapacity: 50,000
Matches: Taeshan v Equestria, Taeshan v Kelssek, C2 v D1
One of the few stadia left relatively intact by the chaos. It's in the freezing mountains of Fröndt. Temperatures swing wildly between 5ºC and -25ºC there throughout the day, and the surrounding area is infested with flying jellyfish, or
flygande maneter, as the locals call them. Literal jellyfish with what are essentially angel wings. Most of them are not lethal, however, and the ones that are make it very obvious by pulsating with different, bright and saturated colors. They've been a bit a plague since, you know, the events we will be continuously referencing throughout this pamphlet. Anyway, wear a scarf and lots of anti-flying-jellyfish repellent and you'll probably be alright.
Szoirsia
Right next to the mountainous region of Fröndt, we find the desert region of Szoirsia. Szoirsians are used to the extreme heat and dehydration that comes with their surroundings. They resort to violence first and foremost to solve problems, perhaps even moreso than the Rulandese. Szoirsians speak one of the most distinct languages of the island: Szoirsian. Outsiders that have come into contact with the language tend to call it either "French but weird" or "Hungarian but weird", though we're not quite sure where the nations of Frence or Hungaria are located. Most scholars agree that there used to be two distinct languages in Szoirsia and, indeed, two ethnic groups, that at some point in the past converged into one. Farves are bad at not burning books, though, so there's no way to be sure. For the adventurous tourists, the biggest attraction might be the possibility to join a giant-scorpion-hunting group for an eveneing and hunt a giant scorpion.
Adar JakCapacity: 32,000
Matches: Kelssek v The Holy Empire, Kelssek v Equestria
While no longer the only stadium in Szoirsia, the Adar Jak will still be used because of tradition. It's a stadium situated in the most notoriously unforgiving part of the Szoirsian desert, a part which is home to precisely no living creatures besides radiation-eating snakes. Bring loads of water, because the Szoirsians won't be sharing theirs (it's kinda scarce at the moment, okay?). On a particularly hot day, matches scheduled here will have to be moved to some nearby (or not) stadium. Do not bring a Geiger counter.
Grand René SkaéCapacity: 25,000
Matches: Equestria v The Holy Empire, The Holy Empire v Taeshan
Home to René Skaé, currrent back-to-back FFL champions, and named after René Skaé the person, this stadium is located in René Skaé, the city named after the person. Nobody is quite sure who René Skaé
really was, but the fact that so many things in this area have been named after him seems to suggest that he was some kind of hero. In comparison with Adar Jak, Grand René Skaé is a forgiving stadium, but don't get it wrong: you won't enjoy a game here on a hot day, of which there are many.
Farolera
Farolera's territory is filled with lush forests and fertile farmland, and they've got a population about the size of Kruviš's. Their capacity for self-sustenance is commendable, and one could argue they're faring better than their Ferdullaelan counterparts amidts the chaos. Farolerans speak Faroleran, known as "Spanish" to some other countries. We do not know where "Span" is, either. The past leader of Farfadillis, Alex Terán - who helped plunge Farfadillis into this mess - is rumored to be gathering support in Farolera to form a new government, but you didn't hear that from us. Much like the Ferdullaelans, they view foreigners as vaguely superior, so expect friendly treatment. Try not to look Rulandese, though.
La Gran AvenidaCapacity: 60,000
Matches: Free Republics v Pasarga, Banija v Sarzonia, Pasarga v Sarzonia, Sarzonia v Free Republics, C1 v D2, TPPO
This stadium is home to Avenida Victoria, Avenida Principal and La Nueva Avenida, three historically big teams. It is situated in the middle of a forest. The view from the highest seats is impressive. Please, ignore how dangerous the path to the stadium is, and how long it takes to arrive there, considering going by car is banned. Beware the beasts of the forest. If you ignore the inherent danger, La Gran Avenida is probably tied with La Fantás for both most modern and most visually captivating stadium.
Ojo de la TormentaCapacity: 15,000
Matches: Free Republics v Banija, Banija v Pasarga
This small stadium located in Azureña, a town on the coast of Puerto Farolero, is notable for constantly (say, weekly, but actually more often) attracting fantastically violent, highly concentrated storms, while somehow managing to stay inside the eye of the storm, completely unaffected. Azureña is otherwise a very nice seaside resort, or at least it would be if the country was functioning.
Rülândéá
Or Ruland, as it's better known to foreigners. Easily the most famous nation in Farfadillis. Traditionally the most football-crazed, poverty-stricken, grievously mistreated, actually genocided, and environmentally-conscious state (ignore the uranium mining), it's safe to say the Rulandese have never had it good. Rampant crime, terrible quality of life, and a very long etc. Nowadays, anti-Rulandese sentiment is at an all-time high, as most Farves view their "petty squabbles" with Ferdullaele as the root cause for the current crisis. They're one of the most well-known ethnicities of the island because they produce better footballers than the rest of the island combined, to the point that some of the best players in the multiverse come from this relatively small, run-down nation. Their language is notorious for having too many diacritics. Eexpect your most famous footballers to get treated like kings/queens, especially if they play in one of the top IFCF leagues.
Rülândéá ÇölíséáCapacity: 35,000
Matches: Ko-oren v Vilita, Vilita v Kita-Hinode, Main Nation Ministry v Kita-Hinode, Kita-Hinode v Ko-oren, A1 v B2, QF1 v QF2
The Çölíséá (Colosseum) is iconic for being home to rivals Mâ Âlâmëómë and Dí Maozöxê, and for having halved its capacity due to bombings from the then-existent government. The stadium's situated in a particularly rough area of Ruland, so make sure to be extra careful. The stadium itself is actually quite modern, as both Mâ Âlâmëómë and Dí Maozöxê are relatively well-off clubs, but if you squint your eyes you can sort of tell it's been bombed multiple times. The big hole in the northern stand is a bit of a tell.
Kruviš
Kruviš is the most populated of the nations, though only by a slight margin and if you're willing to trust a Farf census from twenty-five years ago. This nation is mostly one huge jungle, but closer to the coast the jungle gives way for civilization... to a degree. The fauna here is perhaps the most dangerous you'll find in the island, which is really saying something. Wasps that explode (like bombs) when stinging, spider-snakes, frogs whose poison literally sends you to hell, etc. Why, you ask, is this the most populous nation, then? Probably human stubbornness. Much like everywhere else, expect nationalism. However, unlike the rest of the nation, they tend to view fellow Farves (except Ferdullaelans) as brothers-in-arms and foreigners as filthy scum, so watch out.
Bojno PoljeCapacity: 40,000
Matches: Ko-oren v Vilita, Vilita v Main Nation Ministry, A2 v B1
It stands to reason that the most populated nation in the island would have one of the biggest stadia, despite having a pretty middling football tradition (not for luck of trying, though). For a 40,000 seater, Bojno Polje is patently unsafe and ugly. Scotch tape is not what is holding it together, but the fact that that's the best we can say is, well, all that should be said.