World Cup 85 || RP Thread

[Valanora]

The Marauders were not at the top of their form against Baptism of Fire Champions Mavinet, however they were able to do enough to secure the victory against one of the sides that had managed to keep the Marauders from getting the full points in the first encounter. Performing well above their expectaction, something of a trend for the Marauders' group this cycle, Mavient was looking for a victory to keep their outside chance of a debut qualification alive. A victory in the Hatire Memorial would have given the Baptism of Fire Champions twenty-four points and kept them nine points adrift of second placed Pasarga, still inside of touching distance with nine matches remaining. However it was not to be and though the scoreline was very kind to the opposition and the Marauders were far from their best, the three points were never truly in doubt. It was a match that the squad needed to find a way to win to keep on their good pace and the track towards securing their qualification from the group with a few matches to spare. The domestic clubs for whom the side plays would no doubt prefer that to, with the starters likely to get a rested wholesale once the progression to the Finals is secured.

Mavinet showed up to Capri with a look to take the game to the Marauders and showed quite a bit of fight in the first quarter hour, getting a handful of shots away though none were on target or troubling the keeper. That opening salvo however was all the gusto that the guests would be provided as the Marauders started to come into the game and assert their dominance over the game. What possession that Mavinet had initially enjoyed was slowly washed away by the more talented players in the middle of the park for the Marauders and all those in the Hatire Memorial that a breakthrough was soon to come. And like clockwork, just after the half hour mark the Marauders did get the breakthrough goal that sent Mavinet reeling, given that they had been doing a good job of holding the Marauders back up to that point. It was a bit of steel in the middle from Larsen as he won possession and sent it out wide to Kvaal. The winger chested it down, dribbled down the sideline, and sent in a low, hard cross that Harlem Saxstrom just had to stick a toe out to redirect into the net and give the Marauders their goal.

To say that the second half was something of a sloppy performance would be quite adequate as shot after shot was sent either wide, high, or directly at the keeper between the woodwork for Mavinet. Luckily for the Marauders, their own midfield and defensive unit was not looking to bend at all against the Baptism of Fire Champions and the second half played itself out in something of a lackluster finish. Mavinet might seem slightly hard down by, thinking that they had put in the effort and energy to be rewarded with a point in the Eternal Empire, however they will be feeling the same level of frustration that the Marauders had when they had traveled to Mavinet in the first half. Perhaps it is fitting that both teams feel that they were robbed of points in the two matches between them, as that bitter taste of disappointment and frustration could be used to spur each side further on. With an already solid qualifying campaign as well as their Baptism of Fire crown, Mavinet is a side that is going places quickly and should they be invited into the Cup of Harmony, I would wager for them to pull a few results their as well.

For the Marauders, they now get another chance to get some rectifying of first half wrongs as well as the advancement of their qualifying campaign ahead of them in the next match as they travel to South Newlandia. Besides looking to avenge a shock loss in the Empire from the first half of the campaign, this match has a huge amount of implications for the group. A victory for the Marauders would all but secure their advancement out of the group, as they could have as much as a fifteen point lead on third place with just eight matches left to go. While it would not be impossible for the Marauders to lose that lead, it would be very unlikely and the side would have that one foot into the Finals already. In addition it would give the side that wiggle room to play with ahead of a top of table clash with Pasarga in Torgos still to come, something that the manager is sure to have in the back of their mind. South Newlandia needs a victory to keep themselves realistic touching distance of Pasarga in second, with the Wanderers having a four point lead and a game in hand over them. The Marauders are expecting a hostile atmosphere and a team that thinks they can get one over on the side once more, an attitude that the Marauders will no doubt hope to exploit and see themselves to that comfortable position at the head of the tavble.

[Eastfield Lodge]

Post-match fan phone-in on ELBC Radio 3

Toby Callahan: “...I don’t know which team will turn up against North Quadana, though, so I can’t really tell.”

Pablo Acquet: “Right, we’ll move onto our next caller, Evan from New Lodger City. Evan, I understand you’re coming on to talk about what needs to change in this team going forward.”

Evan: “Hi guys, thanks for having me. Toby, big fan of you, loved your time at the back for RGS.”

Toby: “Thanks mate.”

Evan: “The point I wanted to make that it isn’t just the tactics that need to change. I like this defensive style more than what we had under Shabeen. But I think the players need to change after the end of qualifying. The core of this team is the same from what he had in the previous system, and let’s not ignore how old these players are. They’re too rigid and too ingrained into that previous system.”

Pablo: “I think you’re making a really good point there Evan. I’ve just got today’s team sheet in front of me, and you look at the ages. Couch, Whitfield and Foley are the youngest people in the squad, even if you include the bench. And they’re 25. We’ve fielded 11 different players over the age of 30, out of a total of 34. Harvey, for all his great service to the national team, is 35. It might not be the immediate problem for this qualifying group, but the national team does need a radical player shakeup.”

Toby: “Yeah, I think Williamson, and Andrews as well, have really dropped the ball. Qualifying was a great chance to bounce back after the disaster in the Copa Rushmori, and usually youth is the way to do that. But you know, even the existing players have a part. Look at Morales, he’s 32, and he’s only now been given the chance to properly shine. Yes, it might only have been Mr Tayto and Sylestone, but given we struggled against them in the first half of qualifying, Morales offered something completely different to Murray, up front, and it seems to have paid off. Yes Taeshan managed to shut him down today, but he had a few good moments today. If you put Murray or Stepan up front today, I honestly don’t think either would have done any better.”

Evan: “Morales is great, and I think Williamson has mostly wrecked his international career. I know Murray’s been doing great in Pasarga, a better striker in the SuperLiga than Morales, but this was a change that needed to be made sooner. I also want to say, I’m glad we poached Whitfield from Brenecia. She fits into that back three so well, much better than Hargreaves or Holding.”

Toby: “Yeah, I’ve been calling for Whitfield to be given more of a chance in that back three, and Mackenzie as well. Mackenzie plays that system day in day out at the Berries, he was always the better fit. Whitfield just provides that youthful dynamism that the system needs.”

Pablo: “Great call from Evan there, but we must move on to our next caller. We have Eugenie from Marepacopolis…”

---

MD11: West Pocono 1–1 Eastfield Lodge
Line-up (3-3-3-1): Harvey - Holding, Carr-Ponce, Whitfield - French, Qwivotic (<> Jeremiah-Dockson 65’), Shan - Foley (<> Accardi 75’), Farrow, Berretti - Murray (<> Morales 82’)
Goals (Assists): Murray (26’ - Berretti)

MD12: Eastfield Lodge 0–1 South Covello
Line-up (3-3-3-1): Harvey - Holding, Carr-Ponce, Whitfield (<> Hargreaves 31’) - French, Jeremiah-Dockson, Shan - Foley, Farrow, Berretti (<> Harry 64’) - Murray (<> Stepan 64’)
Goals (Assists): N/A

MD13: Melbergia 3–1 Eastfield Lodge
Line-up (3-3-3-1): Harvey - Holding, Carr-Ponce, Hargreaves - French (<> Nagi 78’), Jeremiah-Dockson, Shan - Accardi, Farrow (<> Stepanov 65’), Berretti (<> Cousin 72’) - Stepan
Goals (Assists): Stepan (11’ - Jeremiah-Dockson)

MD14: Freeport 3–1 Eastfield Lodge
Line-up (3-3-3-1): Harvey - Holding, Carr-Ponce, Hargreaves - French, Jeremiah-Dockson, Shan (<> Salam 76’) - Accardi (<> Foley 62’), Farrow (<> Jewell 76’), Cousin - Stepan
Goals (Assists): Jewell (84’ - Foley)

MD15: Eastfield Lodge 0–0 Main Nation Ministry
Line-up (3-3-3-1): Couch - Mackenzie, Carr-Ponce, Whitfield - Nagi, Qwivotic (<> Din 71’), Shan - Foley, Jewell, Cousin (<> Harry 78’) - Stepan (<> Morales 67’)
Goals (Assists): N/A

MD16: The Appraisal To The Allmighty MR TAYTO 1–4 Eastfield Lodge
Line-up (3-3-3-1): Line-up (3-3-3-1): Couch - Mackenzie, Carr-Ponce, Whitfield - Nagi, Qwivotic (<> Din 76’), Shan (<> Salam 67’) - Foley, Jewell, Cousin (<> Harry 81’) - Morales
Goals (Assists): Morales (23’ - Foley, 61’ - Jewell), Jewell (57’), Whitfield (86’ - Harry)

MD17: Eastfield Lodge 4–1 Sylestone
Line-up (3-3-3-1): Couch - Mackenzie (<> Aas 79’), Carr-Ponce, Whitfield - Nagi, Qwivotic, Shan - Foley, Jewell, Cousin (<> Harry 68’) - Morales (<> Stepan 74’)
Goals (Assists): Cousin (9’, 21’ - Morales, 45+1’ Jewell), Morales (59’ - Cousin)

MD18: Taeshan 1–0 Eastfield Lodge
Line-up (3-3-3-1): Couch - Mackenzie, Carr-Ponce, Whitfield - Nagi (<> Elbaz 67’), Qwivotic, Shan - Foley, Jewell, Harry (<> Cousin 59’) - Morales (<> Stepan 75’)
Goals (Assists): N/A

Line-up to play North Quadana (3-3-3-1)
Couch - Mackenzie, Carr-Ponce, Whitfield - Nagi, Qwivotic, Shan - Foley, Jewell, Cousin - Morales

[Kita-Hinode]

PLAYER BIOS: MOMOKO ICHIBONJI - THE RETURN OF THE DRAGON?

While some refer to the Hinodejin youth system in a bit of jest over how it technically overshadows the Hinodejin professional leagues, it can't be denied that it produced several talented players, most of which have since helped to craft a really good national football team in the Hinodejin Empire and it also contributed to the introduction of some good names for other nations. But to those who have followed it from the moment it reached international knowledge, there's a star that could have joined that hallowed group if the stars had aligned just right. Instead, however, she never really reached her potential. Momoko Ichibonji was, for a brief while, depicted as a soon to be a star, someone that would partner up with Sang Kyung-ja as the two driving forces of Hinodejin football. Alas, a mere seven years after her last taste of glory in the sport, Momoko Ichibonji now lives without a club, looking towards her next step with caution, something unthinkable for a woman that, as a little girl, seemed to have all the confidence in the world for success.

EARLY DAYS
Momoko Ichibonji was born in the township of Soraya, a mere two kilometres from the border of the state into nearby Burakuriri to a family of mostly blue-collar workers, although both her father and her grandfather played Sunday league football in the Kameria State League. Her parents weren't exactly supportive of her pursuit of football but refused to stand against her dream. It was her grandfather that really put her on track towards the sport. By the time she was ten, he served as the head of the Recreative Club of Maeda Zaibatsu Pensionists and was actually leading an operation in the club aiming towards sending aside to the Kazama District Football Championship, which also featured tournaments for sides from U-21 all the way to U-10, which a very young Momoko joined. Under her grandfather's watchful eye, she became the state league's sensation, knocking a grand total of a hundred and fifty-five goals through four seasons of play at the U-10, U-12 and U-14 (and even briefly, U-21) teams of the Recreative Club. And thus, the stars started to align for her, as the girl found herself recruited to play for a combined team representing the various schools of the city of Kazama. Most reports of the girl from relatives and childhood friends do mention that the girl was almost always smiling but had a rather hard personality, throwing caution to the wind towards the belief that she could be the best player in the entire multiverse, something that some members of the public believe that might've been fueled by her grandfather, who didn't spare words to promote his granddaughter's efforts, often talking to the local media about her and using her as a bit of an attraction to the otherwise dreary matches that his club put against some rather modest competition.

STARDOM AT THE NATIONAL LEVEL
As one of the five players representing the Kazama Albatross HS in the all-star squad assembled to play the first season of the All-Hinodejin Youth Football League, Momoko Ichibonji seemed to be having a pretty easy time against her competition. Scoring a total of thirty goals and obtaining a golden boot out of the whole ordeal, Momoko's end of the season had Ichibonji as the main attraction of the Hinodejin youth league. She was already dreaming the entire multiverse at her feet but she probably should've realized that her success wasn't entirely of her own doing. The first season of Hinodejin youth football, albeit a success, suffered a bit from how some teams saw the tournament. Powerhouse Mashu Elite HS actually played the entire tournament as a side-attraction to what they deemed more important, the Somei-Yoshino School State League. Project Olimpo Jutsii, another noteworthy side of youth football actually protested against the start of the league a season earlier than expected as they didn't see themselves fit to actively participate in the tournament, but chose to take part on it anyway out of fears of retaliation from the football association. With few exceptions, the top ten of the Football League for that one season was crowded by teams that were reasonably prepared for the league, Kazama All-Schools clearly being the most prepared team of the whole bunch. Still, with Ichibonji having high hopes, she moved on to her second season at the youth league, leading the club in all but an armband (that was placed at Ken Wakamaruichi's arm, remember him for later) and with the entire multiverse open to watch her dazzle through the league again.

THE DROP
When you consider the defending champions' pre-season, it's hard to imagine that this team would go on to end in fourteenth. Without many new players, as Kazama was already more-or-less going all-in with their squad and there was only so much talent one could get from the province, in spite of their status as the barn of legends (in old Hinodejin football, at least), their team proved bombastic in some high-level friendlies against a myriad of university teams: including a slapper against Burakuriri State University (which by then was going through their second rebuild) and the most shocking result ever, a five-one win against the Mido-Hinode University team that featured the likes of Sang Kyung-ja. In what was deemed a "Derby of the Future Legends" that felt as something more ceremonial than an actual match, the school kids beat the university kids in a wash. Kyung-ja chose not to praise the upcoming star but truth to be told, it didn't matter: in the words of Momoko herself, "I beat her and there's nothing you can take away from it". And then, the first match happened. Project Olimpo Jutsii. Kahara against Ichibonji. Ichibonji drew first blood but soon found Wakamaruichi unable to contain the talents of the future Banijan international captain. She wouldn't see him in a Hinodejin field for long, however, he was quickly poached from the team not too long into the start of his second season at the team but she had found her first rival. New names entered the fray, names like Ikki Tokei, the Kim twins (Jae-hoon and Dong-hwan) and Athena Inagusame, plus another strong season from Chen Zexi meant that Ichibonji was now either sharing the spotlight with plenty of other promising youth players... or quite literally out of the spotlight at all. This all came out on her style play. Previously, a player interested in nothing but doing her best was now a vicious striker that was fine with leaving opposing defenders laid in the pitch if need be. A lack of sportsmanship landed her a first in her career: a yellow card. In the end, her mind couldn't take it and she had her first mental breakdown.

THE RECOVERY
Ichibonji refused to quit the sport, insisting that it was her right to try and carve a career for herself. Suffice to say, she took the backseat for the main stars from the Empire. Still, her name had some gravitas and she found herself leaving for San Marco Storm, a team from the Schottian league. Going with her was her boyfriend and mental support, Ken Wakamaruichi. And then they broke up as Schottia's league froze, he returned to the Empire and Momoko Ichibonji fell off the radar until last week. Sporting a fiery red haircut and a reportedly massive dragon tattoo over her back, she arrived in a cargo ship from Schottia. When asked if she would return to football, all she said was a "...Eh, yeah, sure. Let's give this thing another go." Of course, with this in mind, she's still a fairly young player. At age 22, she could pick herself up from the ground if she has the interest and fire. Although considering all she returned with to the Empire was a bloodied sword and a boatload of Schottian money... one has to ponder whether it's even safe to have her return to football.

[Oberour Ar Moro]

OOC: Just to clarify, those are a "The IT Crowd" reference and a Zybourne Clock reference. Can anyone actually wrap their head around the four balls example?

When Dr. Caterin Forestier organized the "Conference on Colliding Beam Physics" to be held on the campus of Sericia University of Science and Technology, she expected to feel like a conquering champion. Returning to the school she had taught at as the head of the most important scientific project in Oberour Ar Moro for years. Instead, she felt like she had signed up to be shamed in public.

For now, the shame came from how her address was canceled to be replaced by Minister of Research Conmore des Paveillons. Why should anyone need to hear from someone who knew anything?

"To my mind, the most interesting thing being worked at the IPR is in the nature of time," the Minister spoke. Caterine sat in dread imagining how he would botch their work. Two men were talking just within earshot, maybe they were saying something more sensible.

"Did you see that ludicrous display from the Dragoons last night?"

"I don't know if you can be too harsh on them. On the road against a team that crushed them at home previously."

"But is Krytenia that scary a team?"

"They're scary enough. 58th ranked in the world."

"When are Oberours going to defeat a top-level team on the road?"

"Probably when they aren't ranked in the 120s."

Was that sensible? She didn't watch football, so she had no idea. Meanwhile on the stage: "Let me use this example to describe how we're seeing time works: Imagine four balls on the edge of a cliff."

Oh no, where is he going with this?

The Minister continues: "Say a direct copy of the ball nearest the cliff is sent to the back of the line of balls and takes the place of the first ball. The formerly first ball becomes the second, the second becomes the third, and the fourth falls off the cliff. Time works the same way."

Caterine got up and walked out of the auditorium. That was not how time worked, and she couldn't even imagine how a description of time went from someone who knew to the Minister's ears to out of his mouth in that form. So many interesting things and this is the sort of nonsense that gets talked about.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. Speaking of nonsense. "Minister d'Arcueil." When the Minister of Foreign Affairs Collas d'Arcueil calls, you have to answer. Unfortunately.

"Dr. Forestier. Explain to me why my office and I are being kept in the dark."

Caterine walked quickly, away from any of the crowds, to find a side hallway. "Minister, I want to make sure your office gets all the information we can provide-"

"-Can provide?"

"You must understand that this isn't directly in Foreign Affairs, so the information released is limited by the Research Ministry-"

Minister d'Arcueil obviously had a long train of complaints with the Research Ministry, and Caterine heard about them. At length. She found a bench to sit on and felt herself shrink and wither, until the Minister finally hung up on her, with demands she wasn't sure she could fulfill.

Caterine's head was down, and she didn't feel like it could lift it. She just wanted to leave. Not even go home, just go away. Her phone in her hand drooped and then fell, and bounced out of hands reach. But of course. Caterine tried to motivate herself to sit up, start moving again, at least pick up the phone. But a feminine hand reached down to pick up the phone for her.

"Dr. Caterine Forestier?" She looked up, and saw a young woman with copper hair. The young woman offered back the phone and said: "It's so nice to meet you."

[Pasarga]

... we rejoin the action here in Eraman in the second half and the home side is looking quite confident with their lead. If the result stays like this, they would leapfrog the Wanderers into second place in the group, though the Wanderers will still have a game in hand to try and take the position back. However we still have another forty-five minutes left to play here in Eraman and the Wanderers have opted to switch Márió Szölösi for Mária Vöröss, with the latter getting bullied off the ball a little too much in the first half. It is a like for like switch, though the hope will obviously be that Szölösi's extra bit of strength can be a difference maker, as well as fitting naturally more nearer the center of the park rather than in an advanced position.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And the Wanderers have the hosts hemmed here just before the hour mark, as they continue to try and press to grab an equalizer. The hosts are standing strong and trying to show that the deserve a spot in the Finals while attempting to send the Wanderers back to the Cup of Harmony once more to attempt to defend their crown. The side is looking to keep that from happening though and the offense has finally come alive and been attacking in waves and thrusts against this resilient Eraman defense. Gersten undresses his defender with some lovely footwork and comes into the area, will he take a shot himself? NO! He instead backheels the ball across the top of the box and there is Szalyk Földessy!!! It's a screamer that somehow makes its way through the mess of bodies in the box and into the top right corner! We're all level here in Eraman and the Wanderers surge back into second placed in the table, a point ahead of the hosts if this result holds. Both sides though look like they are not about to settle for a point as the ball is brought back to the center circle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five minutes after the goal to bring things level and it has been something of a track meet as both teams are swarming up and down the pitch. It has made for very entertaining football as both keepers have been tested twice and have had to come up big to keep their sides in the match. Here comes the Wanderers again on the right hand side, with Gersten looking to be the key to all things positive for the Wanderers at the moment. It is a frantic pace that can barely be kept up with, as he plays some triangles with Szölösi to get behind the defensive backline again and sending in another dangerous cross! JAGER IS THERE!! Oh but he has hit the crossbar and the ball has nearly ricocheted all the way back to the halfway line. Jager had truly met that cross with a powerful header but he was unable to get over it enough to send it beneath the crossbar and the beat goes on. Eraman is pressing up their left hand side with Gersten struggling to backtrack after his run. But the ball is cleared into the top row with a crunching tackle from Meier. Both sides desperately trying to get one over on the other. These last twenty-five minutes are going to be frantic!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's looking like both sides are going to have to settle for a point as the match is heading into the three minutes of added time that the assistant referee has indicated. The Wanderers are making one last gamble, Laborc Szöllössy is being brought off to be replaced by Ors Rátz, an oft forgetten about midfielder. The whole team is pressing into the attack and Ors gets his first touch and lobs it forward! It has completely caught the defensive line of Eraman off guard and there is Júlia Müller using her blistering pace to latch on. Oh that is beautiful and she has done it! SHE'S ROUNDED THE KEEPER AND EASILY PUT IT INTO THE BACK OF THE NET! WANDERERS LEAD AND RETAKE A FOUR POINT LEAD IN SECOND! Oh this is one of the biggest goals in recent history, that could be a huge turning point for the Wanderers. A minute left to go now... and there is the final whistle! Incredible, the Wanderers have snatched a victory out of thin air and shocked Eraman silent, the side now has all the momentum. This is going to be remembered for quite a long time, especially if the Wanderers end up qualifying!

[Alba and Cymru]

ԬԬԬ The Celtic Times ԬԬԬ
Bringing Light to a World in the Dark

June 9, 2020 Edition

An Eventless Tie Could Be Far From Disappointing
Gold Coast, Northwest Kalactin

Alba and Cymru's national football team traveled to Northwest Kalactin on Monday to take on one of the top competitors in Group 3 of the World Cup. After 90 minutes of hard-fought action, the match ended with a mundane score of null to null. Knowing Alba and Cymru is likely out of the competition at this point, Coach MacDunn played mostly secondary players at the beginning of the match. The striker positions were filled in by Cadell ApHywel and Friedrich Dieffenbach, both of whom displayed excellent teamwork in the early onset of the match. As time accumulated, however, both teams began to slow the pace dramatically. Possessions became more drawn-out, and deeper and deeper shots were made by both offenses to no avail. What was supposed to be the heaviest offensive team in the group stage showed very little vigor in its players up front. Goalie Áed MacNeill had no trouble deflecting the cannon fire from Luke Dillan, and steals became commonplace as Northwest Kalactin ventured closer to the Celtic Goal. What was supposed to be an easy win for the home team turned into perhaps one of the most disappointing results in this year's World Cup, save Chromatika's tough luck in earlier games. To the Celtic footballers, this result seems like a small victory. Alba and Cymru has been looking to scramble the rankings of the top teams in Group 3, and a tie with Northwest Kalactin may just be the first stepping stone.

"Nobody likes a tie, but we'll take it," said goalie Áed MacNeill. "We may not make it to the World Cup, but as long as we're noticed, I think that's a win in itself. Good luck to Northwest in the rest of their games, and we'll be happy to hopefully see them again in the next World Cup."

"This could be big, in the long run," replied Not Lionel Messi. "Alba and Cymru certainly needs wins, but I think the best thing we can do now is dethrone some of the competition that's long ahead of us. A tie is a tie, sure, but we're not giving up 3 whole points, and we get to keep one for ourselves. The World Cup may be out of the picture, but let's make that burden a reality for other teams while we're at it."

Game stats for Alba and Cymru (3-6-8):

Group rank: 11th
Shots: 7
Goals: 0
Possession: 42'
Saves: 12
Fouls: 9
Yellow: 1 (Not Lionel Messi, 36')
Red: 0
No notable injuries

[Vdara]

Yet again, another interview

Interviewer: ”We’re here today with national team manager Lükækš Væñøœrëñbérghüïś, who masterminded a fantastic draw with Equestria in the last game. How do you think your team will fare in today’s match?”

Væñøœrëñbérghüïś: ”Well, you can’t say it was all me. The players especially masterminded it, with Lazelis scoring that last minute equaliser. Anyhow, I think we’ll do alright. We’re on a good run of form, so we should be able to get some sort of win tonight.”

Interviewer: ”What if this result doesn’t end up in a win for your side?”

Væñøœrëñbérghüïś: ”Well, there will be harsh words, simple as you like. This is a game we should be winning, and if we don’t, well, consequences will be going the players’ way. I do hope for the win, though.”

Interviewer: ”What sort of consequences?”

Væñøœrëñbérghüïś: ”That’s up to me and me only. However, I don’t think I’ll have to do anything. I have a lot of faith in my lads, they’re a fantastic bunch of people and I’m sure they’ll play with pride and determination against the Blouman Empire. Besides, we’ve got a fantastic crowd here at the VdarArena, and they’ll be wanting us to work our magic.”

Interviewer: ”Thanks for your time, mate!”

Væñøœrëñbérghüïś: ”No problem. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a team to manage. Antio sas!”

[Kelssek]

Scores for MD 19, groups 1-7

[Timuria]

Rotated Red Wolves Get Narrow Win

Timuria 2–1 Audiasania
Omer Tameroglu (40), Bayram Tansu (71);Audiaslania #11 (87)

by Tufan Nursultan

The Red Wolves fielded a weakened side as they came out narrow winners over Audiaslania with a goal each from Omer Tameroglu and Bayram Tansu being enough to secure the three points.

The Red Wolves would get to a 2-0 lead with Omer Tameroglu's well struck effort from the edge of the box having been teed up by Yerkebulan Suyumbayev opening the scoring after all the chances in the first half had fallen the Red Wolves' way. Bayram Tansu would double their lead with a powerful header. The visitors would get a consolation after a mistake from Berker Balkan left the opposition striker free to pick his spot.

The result means the Red Wolves remain in third as they enter their bye, with the return to action to come with a trip to Olastor who have just dealt a shock defeat onto Barunia.

What They Said After The Match:

Bekir Altingunes: "I'm glad we've got to the break, we'll need to assess to see if we've really made the improvements I think we have, but so long as we keep up our end of the bargain and keep winning, I have a feeling we may get lucky and even if we don't at least we'll know what we can achieve.

Player Ratings:

Iskender Nur 6/10 - Had a decent day with not very much to do.

Zeynel Abidin Birkan 7/10 - A rare start and he looked good on his outing today.

Kemal Colak 7/10 - Took care of business and passed out of defence very well

Berker Balkan 6/10 - Seemed a bit slower than usual, as if he was nursing an injury.

Gokdeniz Dag 6/10 - Had to be taken off as he was clearly exhausted, but a decent outing.

Sabah Tanriseven 6/10 - A rare start for him, you could tell he wasn't used to it.

Reza Karaduman 6/10 - Didn't cover himself in glory, but wasn't a disaster either.

Yerkebulan Suyumbayev 8/10 - Had a fantastic day, setting up both goals and looking very dangerous.

Metin Aytacoglu 6/10 - Didn't make a huge impact as he stepped in for Vatan Ercetin, but not a a bad day either.

Volkan Ayhan 6/10 - Had a hard time and was unable to beat his opposite number Corey Trask.

Omer Tameroglu 7/10 - Had to be taken off as he looked tired, but overall a good day for the striker.

Substitutes:

Bayram Tansu 7/10 - Came on and got the goal that would turn out the be the difference maker.

Yildiray Sabuktiginoglu 6/10 - He came on and didn't really make a huge impact, but was a decent set of fresh legs

Person of the Match: Yerkebulan Suyumbayev - The young winger doesn't get much playing time for the Red Wolves, but he showed why he was a valuable asset from the bench with two assists and a general aura of danger whenever he had the ball.

Schedule and Results:

Home stadiums will have capacity in brackets

MD1: @ Xuzaqiy W 5-3
MD2: vs Cassadaigua, Dev Halk Stadium (30,000), Demir L 3-2
MD3: @ Kelssek L 2-1
MD4: vs Barunia, Tashkent Belediye Isci Stadium (18,500), Tashkent L 4-1
MD5: @ Audiasania W 3-2
MD6: Bye
MD7: vs Olastor, Belediye Park (5,800), Demir W 3-1
MD8: @ Patistan W 5-3
MD9: vs The Mann Clan, Belediye Park (5,800), Demir W 2-0
MD10: @ Grod Island W 5-3
MD11: vs Sargossa, Hisar Belediye Sendika Stadium (27,500), Demir D 1-1
MD12: @ Res Publica Nova Roma W 7-3
MD13: vs Ziwana, Halkın Güneş Çiftliği Stadium (27,000), Elektriklestirme W 4-2
MD14: vs Xuzaqiy, Demir-Is Stadium (5,500), Demir W 6-1
MD15: @ Cassadaigua D 0-0
MD16: vs Kelssek, Madenci Stadium (27,000), Uryan L 3-1
MD17: @Barunia W 3-2
MD18: vs Audiasania, Maden-Is Stadium (3,400), Uryan W 2-1
MD19: Bye
MD20: @ Olastor
MD21: vs Patistan, Almat Jimnasyum (3,000), Demir
MD22: @ The Mann Clan
MD23: vs Grod Island, Tasova Belediye Stadium (2,000), Tasova
MD24: @Sargossa
MD25: vs Res Public Nova Roma, Dev Halk Stadium (30,000), Demir
MD26: @ Ziwana

[Newmanistan]

THE ROCKET REPORT

CUP OF HARMONY PREVIEW

by Brianne Henry,

We do not know yet who will be hosting the Cup of Harmony, and we’re not really sure if Newmanistanian fans have a preference between the two bids. We probably should support the Drawkland and Delaclava bid given that we just hired a Drawkish manager, and he could win us some brownie points with the neutral fans on Sonnel, but if we ended up in Delaclava, then that home planet advantage for Michael Starre will not do us any good. Both Kelssek and Zwangzug seem like fine places for us to go to as well. So, whoever the World Cup Committee decides on, should be fine with us.

It’s hard to really look at the Cup of Harmony this far in advance, because you never know who is going to get the invites, and how many teams will be participating. The flat 32-team World Cup format makes that one much easier to predict. However, I wanted to take a moment to see who some Cup of Harmony candidates might be:

Group 1:
Turori has run away with the group, but Audioslavia is having more trouble. Rockets fans should be rooting for the Bulls to get that second spot as they would present a far more challenging option in the Cup of Harmony then would Sajnur. A few other teams in this group look like they could be steady teams, but I would be confident with Newmanistan against any likely party here, other then Audioslavia.

Group 2:
Kita-Hinode has it realistically locked up, but it is very tight for second. Drawkland will be hoping for bigger and better, and right now I like how things look for them. Kohnhead has been impressive in their debut, and once again Busoga Islands is all bark and little bite.

Group 3:
This group is going to provide Cup of Harmony favorites, now the question is, who will they be? Chromatika is a plane of possibility, but they have been better of late and have a weaker second place team to catch then we have. Terre Septentrionale will be very formidable in the Cup of Harmony, and Savojarna could be pesky.

Group 4:
South Covello might not qualify, folks. Now, are they even going to get a Cup of Harmony invite? That’s a darn good question. Maybe West Pocono will get one.

Group 5:
The most boring qualifying group if you want drama. Given that, you have to wonder is it a bunch of also rans in here who will also be punchless in the Cup of Harmony? I don’t think a serious threat comes from this group.

Group 6:
This is a thrilling group, and one to follow as an outsider. Banija is in, but who else? Hampton Island is in that spot, but can the old dudes hold up? Can Hapilopper be better then them here like they are on the race track? Valentine Z isn’t though. Lisander and Mercedini don’t give me a NSSCRA comparison, but are also formidable.

Group 7:
Two of these three: Sarzonia, Jeruselem, and Darmen, present good Cup of Harmony teams. We may want to hope Darmen gets that spot. Plus, Delaclava is only getting better as time goes on.

Group 8:
The either-or of Port Ember and Ko-oren will wreak havoc on the Cup of Harmony. Tequilo should be good as well, and Cheergirls will be fun to watch. This is a good group to watch as well.

Group 9:
With Cassadaigua and Kelssek running away, Sargossa is a giant in the making, if they get an invite. Timuria should, and they will be tough to knock out, too.

Group 10:
Trolleborg and Abanhfleft make it interesting for us in the Cup of Harmony. That’s about it, here.

Group 11:
Hope for HUElavia to beat out Xanneria since HUElavia is much better ranked. Kandorith is an up and coming that could be good in the Cup of Harmony, too.

Group 12:
Group gets an F for excitement and zero for Cup of Harmony concerns.

Group 13:
South Newlandia has been very impressive at times during qualifying, but it won’t be enough for the World Cup. Juvencus could be flat, and Eraman never seems to impress. Mavinet’s press hasn’t been seen in a while.

Group 14:
Given how we played in the group, any Cup of Harmony invitee here other then us probably kills us.

Group 15:
Quebec has had an impressive run under the Independent banner, but it is not quite going to be enough. Probably. I don’t want to definitively say that yet. Recuecn needs to keep the results coming or maybe they want to experience the Cup of Harmony for the first time.

[Independent Athletes from Quebec]

Some Posh district on the Upper Side of Quebec City
November 2043

There is a common line of untrained thought that the house of the Principal Private Secretary of the Sovereign, the Gyodong Hall, was situated Heart of the Quebec City, with location as closely as possible to the Palais Royale. Of course, to those who knew the local geography or just knew the Hanja, there was nothing to be surprised about the slightly secluded location of the Residence. The Residence’s name came from the fact that the Residence building, a nicely built Art Deco structure from the 1920s, were situated right behind the second version of the Hanyang Central Hyanggyo, located at the heart of the nation’s capital; and its location right behind the Hyanggyo protected it from the sound and the fury that were often associated with the Eternal City of Lights.

It would obviously be silly to say that this small pocket of lightly wooded, homely backyard alleys often found behind the facades of shining, marble streets of the former Quebecois Empire, did a perfect job in presenting the third and fourth dimensions of the typically Quebecois way of life. There was a difference between being a Quebecois and being a Capitolian after all, and everybody knew that with the historical houses and the traditionally-styled walls that draped the mansions and houses built well into the late 1800s.

Perhaps this was the reason why the Rosenfeld-Kim’s have found particular comfort at the house. There was nothing particularly standout about the backstreets. There was, however, a certain sense of peace and the timelessness, a particular antiquity that the well-pocketed locals loved. Of course younger ones, students, investors or interns, preferred being on flashier boroughs, streets or even Montreal, but the clientele here were little bothered by that. As badly as their rep can get, the Capitolians were themselves known for being the face of the Quebecois nation; rude, chainsmoking and boisterous people with supernatural sense of seduction, and if they ended up being on a same table as their bagel-eating, explosive Montrealer counterparts, they would certainly have a brawl. They might not be at their ease with their work, given their work-hating nature as intellectuals and bureaucrats, but they would make sure that their comfort zone, of heavily-wooded green space, thirty-five working hours a week, cafe lunches with berets, and holidays on their holiday homes, would be best followed by anyone who dared emulate them.

Karine Rosenfeld was waiting in the living room, when her husband quietly opened the wooden window to mark his entrance from yet another long day at work. ‘Hey you,’ she said, giving that signature smile of half-awkwardness, half-shyness as her husband quickly hung his top hat and the smoke-filled coat on the coat rack. It was nine in the evening again, and while on a weekday it was usual, the continued late arrivals seemed to have pleased nobody, including Sir. Alexandre himself.

‘Sorry about that,’ Sir. Alexandre took a deep breath as he attempted to deal with the upcoming wave of troubles ahead, which he had anticipated and prepared for the entire time he had been over the ten-minute walk back home. ‘It’s a nightmare at work again. Well-intentioned men not being able to agree with each other, and they are still feeling conflicted about the foreign prince and whatnot in the court. In fact, despite Princes Richard and Henrik setting the model precedence, I’m not sure if the current group of blockheads are willing to deal with a foreign prince.

‘Alex. It’s okay,’ Karine gave him a light hug. ‘You know, I’m not the slightest worried about you.’ They looked at each other with that uncertain smile, that was a long signature of hers. ‘That’s part of our job anyway, and we gotta do what we gotta do. You always listen to me when I tell you about my students and papers, and never did once you complain. It’s just as much of my job to tell you that you’re not failing.’

‘I know you aren’t worried about me,’ Alexandre sighed, as he knew that wasn’t the cause behind the sighs. Of course he wasn’t worried about it; Karine, his wife of twenty years, was a well-accomplished woman of her own after all. ‘In fact, I should be worried more about you, because I know I’m not being a good husband to you nor father to our kids..’

‘Alex, since when have you failed us?’ Karine questioned him, in a hope to assure her husband that it was all good. ‘All you have done is good for all, and there’s nothing to be concerned about.’

‘And I wish I can be everywhere, just to be with you.’ Alexandre closed his eyes. ‘You were the one who took my hand when we were younger and still in school.’ This part, of course, had him choke a bit. Sir. Alexandre Kim met his wife through a matter of coincidence; his brother Hector, now a clarinetist at Royal Philharmonic, were in the same grade nine band section. He remembered meeting the short, brown-haired keener who caught him wide open the very first time.

‘But that’s not what you took the job for.’ Karine responded, starting to feel frustrated at Alexandre for not owning up to it. She knew her husband was a particularly sharp-tongued man towards all he considered as potential threats; it’s just that he always made sure that wouldn’t be the case back home. Being a father of two teenage kids, he made sure to give his family the love expected of him, and the meanest of edges, that he would blast at parliamentarians and noblemen back home, were kept out of her radar. Still, it was nonetheless evident that all the toxicity of the workplace was taking a toll on his health, and wished that he would be more straightforward with her. ‘You promised me that you weren’t going to fail His Majesty of late back then, so why are you regretting?’

‘I don’t know...I don’t know…’ Alex said, as he broke her embrace and slowly lied himself, back first, onto the sofa. His memory of the thirties, in the early years of the position, briefly flashed before him, and he knew it wasn’t him who was failing Her Majesty anyway. If anything, he was very much serving along the lines of the finest of Principal Private Secretaries to the Quebecois sovereign. Still, he was wondering on whether he, now well aged beyond the eras he had served the Jacques IX with success, would be the right person for the young Christine II. 'I just hope all will go well and we can get a couple of weeks off once all this is done by August.'

'It'll all be fine, love.' Karine said, slowly making her way to the sofa so they would sit next to each other. 'It's all fine. From what I have heard from our neighbour, that Zwangzugian professor appointed to Maths department, Her Majesty seems to be already impressing the people with her knowledge and appreciation.'

‘Of course she would.' He chuckled. 'But that's good I guess. Not that it matters much if we all fuck up come this Spring...How are the kids? Yours, and ours?’

‘The seminar kids did well today.’ She nodded, trying to do her best to calm Alex down. Sir. Alexandre and Lady Karine were both polisci majors in heart and while both were in graduate school, their paths ended up being different as Sir. Alex went to serve in the Palais Royale after his MA. The move was strictly financial in essence; he needed to find enough money to afford living in Quebec City, so he could be with his wife, who eventually went to St. Croix for her PhD. Now, they were in totally different pathways, with wife as an eminent professor and husband as an infamous secretary, but their love of the same field, however challenged they may have been, partly kept their marriage going. ‘They have POLS341 paper topics to talk about, during my office hours tomorrow, but I am not worried about that for now.’

‘What is it?’ He asked.

‘Oh, it’s just Nate not doing as well on test scores. I know he’s going through a lot with Kara (note: their elder son’s girlfriend) feeling down a bit as of late, but still, he dropped quite a bit, and it’s not good when Bac is this April.’

‘I see. Well, don’t worry about it, love.’ He slowly reached his arms to her, as they went onto have a snuggle. ‘It will all be fine.’

[Mriin]

In do kamo, not cius no bai? Cutoff for Groups 8-15!

[Taeshan]

A Flock of Seagulls 0-0 Taeshan
Somewhere, A Flock of Seagulls

Leadership

I often wonder if I will ever be a good enough leader. Miles Snavely was a good leader; I saw him lead from the bench. He knew he wasn’t good enough to start, but he was still a leader. He came onto the field and he scored goals. It was impressive to watch. Randall Abl Bakr, 2 qualifiers as Captain, 2 qualifications for the World Cup. An impressive group of players to follow. You find yourself wondering if you will be able to follow in those footsteps. It’s a hard path to follow, but is it a path I can follow?

Randall Abl Bakr was probably only matched in success in two terms, by one player, Elijah Knickerbocker. You probably don’t think about him much, but he was the captain of the side that did so well in the early 60’s. Gwyn Juniper would take over from him and make a quarterfinal run, but Elijah was the force behind that side. The string puller, putting forwards in the right position, putting Gwyn Juniper in the right position to score goals. I always wanted to be like him, I wanted to be a leader. I want to make runs at World Cups. I want to win a World Cup.

I was surprised to be asked to be Captain. This is my third campaign with the side, and hopefully my third World Cup. But the Captaincy could weigh on me. Miles said as much during our talk. He thought about Daigo, and Daigo is a defensive leader, but he said I was the fire in the team’s eyes. I was the light. Terras Irradient, We Light up the World. Often forgotten as the motto of the Federation, but I need to be the light for this team to succeed.

We’ve had our failures. An embarrassing Copa Rushmori in Eastfield Lodge was not a good start. The doubt crept in, but the first half of qualifying went well. One less than stellar result in West Pocono and a less than thrilling home tie against top seed South Covello. But we played well, we had a six-point lead. Then we start the second half rough. We lose our first game; we tie at home against Maccian. The doubts begin to creep back in. Am I the Gwyn Juniper who fails after Elijah Knickerbocker? Am I the flame that is the last?

All I can do is play. All I can do is put my best foot forward. I can score goals, I can assist goals, I can lead by example. I have my doubts, but everyone does. I have my fears, I am afraid of failure, but who is not? Who does not fear the fall of everything they have worked for? No one. We can’t let that fear keep up us from playing the game. If we fail, we fail. But we can pull ourselves back up from that failure. I get knocked down, but I get up again, you’re never going to keep me down.

Shiloh Morgenstern

[Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom]

Part 4

Deputy Helmutov slid into his bed. The days events were fresh in mind, body and soul. The politician had intended to spend the night with a few assistants. However, the day’s events had run the official ragged. He felt good knowing that his office’s liberal dress code hadn’t dominated the news cycle. The men and women of his office were pretty much free to do whatever they wanted. His one assistant’s tendency to say she was, “dressed,” by Helmutov was a ticking time bomb. Given he had faced strong accusations of misconduct before he ran for parliament, another scandal was the stuff of nightmares. Worse yet, the behavior had been passed onto a newer staffer. Even with all of that, talks of a, “Green Order,” dominated Helmutov’s brain. Visions of years past blended in with all of the talk from the cabinet’s meeting. Hemutov remembered when first encountered the Green Order. It wasn’t the first time the scenario had played out in Helmutov’s sleep. But the encounters were distant. But for the first time ever Helmutov remembered the whole tale in one go.

The place was the city of Matov-Uri. The capital city of the old regime, it was a clean and quiet city, full of iconography of the government. The public square was more packed than usual. A crowd had gathered despite a ban on political engagements in the city center. Ostensibly the young people had come to protest a decrease in public spending on home construction. Over the weeks that were spent planning the protest, many other interest groups had chosen to make their mark on the country. Helmutov was in his public housing. He had just been granted a place to stay after the conclusion of his legal studies. The government assigned him to work on trials of low importance for the country. Helmutov had been told from his friend Miloš about a demonstration that would take place in the city. All day while the gathering took place, Helmutov gripped his legal license with pride. He peered out the windows hoping the event would run smoothly.

After an hour of interrupting foot traffic, the government’s “People’s Affairs Legal Department,” had sent in a band of men to quell the protest. It was a chaotic and violent affair. After a few minutes there was a long banging and clanging sound. Smoke rose in the air. Something had exploded. Almost everyone, civilian or government, fled the scene. After the fire was put out in the square. Helmutov, known to his friends as Lars, got a call on the phone, “Lars, is your TV working?” A fellow new attorney on the other end. The two men had been good friends in higher education. Helmutov went to his television set as he listened to his friend on the other line. “I don’t know, Wladmir” Helmitov said, “is it just your set?” “No way, there’s someone fighting for the signal!” Helmutov found his remote and turned on the tv. “You’re right, I see a green stripe. I don’t hear anything but static.” “The audio is dead,” Wladmir said. Elaborating further, Wladmir told Helmutov that, “It was making noise before. They were talking about a ‘green order.’”

While the TV was silent, a noise filled Helmutov’s living space. Someone had pulled the fire alarm. Helmutov was focused too much on the broadcast to care. His tunnel visions clouding himself from practicing proper safety. Wladmir hung up the phone, and Helmutov noticed text on his TV screen. “When the authority has become complacent, new solutions to our grief must be found.” It was hard to make out the words as a signal war raged between the highjacks and the government. Noticing the fire alarm, Helmutov looked out his balcony to see if he could find smoke. He looked to his left and saw a young man, he looked down and heard a banging sound.

Screams cried out. Someone had shot the evacuating crowd. Helmutov ducked, not knowing where the violence originated. Helmutov slowly got up, moving with a symphony of pants coming from his mouth. He peered over his balcony and saw government officials driving off. That was strange, they should have helped out. The young man to Helmutov’s left had a camera and was putting away before the pair made eye contact. For that brief moment Helmutov saw a man with a goatee and a mullet. The man quickly returned to his room, slamming his glass door. Then sirens blared, and law enforcement vehicles pulled in from of Helmutov’s apartment. There were ambulances and men with machine guns. Helmutov slowly crawled into his room and closed his door slowly, avoiding the notice of the authorities. At least that is what Helmutov had hoped.

Suddenly Helmutov’s heart raced, and his eyes opened. Helmutov “Vivid,” was the only word uttered as Helmutov went back to sleep. His dreams were recreation of his conversations with Luka. The creepy assistant of the president had given an intriguing offer. The slimy toad wanted Deputy Helmutov to investigate the protest. One quote floated in the cerebral space of the sleeping man’s mind, “If you keep up with this case, you will realize only you have the knowledge to solve it.” Helmutov woke up, the day was five hours young. Stretching, he knew there was one person he had to talk to. The commander of federal law enforcement, Helmutov’s old friend Waldmir.

[Chromatika]

Chromatik City Courier
Jordan Lawless, Sports Columnist

Group 3 Matchday 19: Chromatika 0-2 Eura @ The Capitalizt Dome, Chromatk City, Chromatika
Chromatik Scorers: None.
Starting XI (4-2-3-1): Ria (C); McBee - de Aea - Rondeau - Austic; Armageddon - Zuniga; Thorben - Kuzami - Dragana; Sierra.
Substitutes: Bird -> Kuzami ('47), Will -> Rondeau ('51), Vidal -> Sierra ('71)

CHROMATIK CITY -

An expected yet deflating result against the visiting Eurans as Chromatika falls to them with a score of two-nil, in a match where nothing could get going in terms of goal production or even three passes in a row. Disappointing, yet hardly campaign-ending.

Why?

Well, let us take a look at teams currently ranked 2-10 in the group and what they have left on their schedules.

2. The Sarian (9-3-6, 30 pts, +6 GD)
Matchday 20: @ Eshan
Matchday 21: vs. Alba and Cymru
Matchday 22: BYE
Matchday 23: @ Chromatika
Matchday 24: vs. Sabalonia
Matchday 25: @ Savojarna
Matchday 26: vs. Terre Septentrionale
Analysis: The current possessors of second place will be hard-pressed to retain it with games away at Eshan, Chromatika, and Savojarna on the schedule. Sabalonia has proven to be tough out, and ending with a home tie against Terre Septentrionale won't be easy, either. The Sarian will have to continue its upsets to qualify.

3. Eshan (10-0-7, 30 pts, +2 GD)
Matchday 20: vs. The Sarian
Matchday 21: @ Chromatika
Matchday 22: vs. Sabalonia
Matchday 23: @ Savojarna
Matchday 24: vs. Terre Septentrionale
Matchday 25: @ Sanctanus
Matchday 26: vs. Adyatin
Analysis: Mostly has the Group's Second Place berth in its own hands, with matches against The Sarian, Chromatika, and Savojarna looming. The fact that the match versus the Chromatiks and the Savojars are on the road are a bit concerning, and their abysmal goals differential at +2 means that they aren't likely to win most ties.

4. Savojarna (8-5-4, 29 pts, +7 GD)
Matchday 20: @ Wanarpu
Matchday 21: vs. Eura
Matchday 22: @ Northwest Kalactin
Matchday 23: vs. Eshan
Matchday 24: @ Alba and Cymru
Matchday 25: vs. The Sarian
Matchday 26: @ Chromatika
Analysis: Any team that still has Eura left on their schedule is due for a hard time; at least they will host both Eura and Eshan at home. The last match on the road at Chromatika does loom large, however.

5. Terre Septentrionale (8-5-4, 29 pts, +2 GD)
Matchday 20: @ The Jovannic
Matchday 21: vs. Wanarpu
Matchday 22: @ Eura
Matchday 23: vs. Northwest Kalactin
Matchday 24: @ Eshan
Matchday 25: vs. Alba and Cymru
Matchday 26: @ The Sarian
Analysis: If this squad can get its act together and win all of the matches not against Eura, Terre Septentrionale actually looks to be one of the last ones in contention of second place. Having already played Savojarna and Chromatika along with having had the bye, this team is poised for sneaking in.

6. Chromatika (8-2-8, 26 pts, +11 GD)
Matchday 20: @ Northwest Kalactin
Matchday 21: vs. Eshan
Matchday 22: @ Alba and Cymru
Matchday 23: vs. The Sarian
Matchday 24: BYE
Matchday 25: @ Sabalonia
Matchday 26: vs. Savojarna
Analysis: There are no easy games left for the Chromatiks. At minimum of four wins seem to be needed, with the other two results being draws. Their trickiest ties that remain - Eshan, The Sarian, and Savojarna - are all at home, which is a blessing; Sabalonia bloodied Chromatika's nose the first time around and will be looking to do the same once again.

7. Northwest Kalactin (6-6-5, 24 pts, +1 GD)
Matchday 20: vs. Chromatika
Matchday 21: @ Sabalonia
Matchday 22: vs. Savojarna
Matchday 23: @ Terre Septentrionale
Matchday 24: vs. Sanctanus
Matchday 25: @ Adyatin
Matchday 26: vs. The Jovannic
Analysis: Still has a stone's throw of a chance to qualify, but will need some things to break their way; having to deal with all three of Chromatika, Savojarna, and Terre Septentrionale will likely be too much.

8. The Jovannic (7-2-9, 23 pts, -8 GD)
Matchday 20: vs. Terre Septentrionale
Matchday 21: @ Sanctanus
Matchday 22: vs. Adyatin
Matchday 23: BYE
Matchday 24: @ Wanarpu
Matchday 25: vs. Eura
Matchday 26: @ Northwest Kalactin
Analysis: The unranked phenom who went 1-1-0 against Chromatika, The Jovannic still has Eura left on its schedule. Does look like they could get double-digit wins on their first cycle, though, which is impressive.

9. Sabalonia (6-4-8, 22 pts, -3 GD)
Matchday 20: @ Eura
Matchday 21: vs. Northwest Kalactin
Matchday 22: @ Eshan
Matchday 23: vs. Alba and Cymru
Matchday 24: @ The Sarian
Matchday 25: vs. Chromatika
Matchday 26: BYE
Analysis: Well... Sabalonia can really cause some damage to hopefuls, with matches at home against Northwest Kalactin and Chromatika and away at Eshan and The Sarian. Definite sleepers for upsets that could determine the group.

10. Adyatin (6-4-8, 22 pts, -8 GD)
Matchday 20: vs. Sanctanus
Matchday 21: BYE
Matchday 22: @ The Jovannic
Matchday 23: vs. Wanarpu
Matchday 24: @ Eura
Matchday 25: vs. Northwest Kalactin
Matchday 26: @ Eshan
Analysis: Adyatin should get some points against The Jovannic, Wanarpu, and Sanctanus, meaning they could end with more than thirty points with an upset or two. Remarkable.

So, it seems like the second-placed berth is likely to go to either of Terre Septentrionale, Eshan, or Chromatika; it will be interesting to see at least.

[Jeruselem]

Princess Katherine Annabelle Dallas in Delaclava

Hello this is Princess Katherine Annabelle Dallas for Naked News Jeruselem.
Another day in the World Cup 85 and another day of qualification. Match day 19 is over.
We're in Delaclava today, for another must win. Well, they are all must-wins now actually.
We're off the bye and it's all to play for from now on.

Checking the other Group 7 games.
Sarzonia visited Great Lausitz and turned the local into sausages with 5-0 win. Eh, I guess that was expected.
Nephara recovered from their loss to Sarzonia and beat visitors Competitive Solitaire 5-1 at home. Rather expected as well.
Two of our rivals winning, that's pressure.
Welzat failed to make ground losing to last placed South Charlia at home, with South Charlia winning 2-1.
Simpralia did us a favour, holding Darmen 1-1 at home. Well, good on Simpralia ... they also helped Sarzonia but we can't complain.
Acronius beat Aimena 1-0 at home.

That leaves, us vs the home team Delaclava.
I guess they say you can't win them all ... and that includes being able to lose.
We lost 2-1, I guess we had to lose a game eventually this half.
Not our best work today, but it's not like we lost 5-0 or something.
Away games are hard as you travel here, play a game and then go home again.
You never get used to a place, due to short turn around times.

As for excuses, well don't ask me. I just report the game, the coach makes up the official excuses why we lose.
Well, he does that all the time anyway - and makes excuses why we won as well.
Finishing was a bit problematic today, if you don't convert your chances to goals you're not going score a lot.
That put pressure on the defense because they had to keep the scoreline down.
And being an away game, we don't have the home support so it's never easy.
So our failure to make the best of our chances doomed us allow the home team to win.

So that leaves Nephara on 46 points. Sarzonia back in 2nd on 36, but us on 35. 1 point. So it's not like panic stations.
Darmen on 32 in 4th, with like 5 draws. What's the go there?
Acronius on 28, maybe a threat but thet are so far behind as it is.
Delaclava moved to 6th on 26 after beating us.
Simpralia and Welzat on 24 points. Just note that are in 6 wins, 6 draws and 6 losses, Isn't that weird.
Huayramarca and Aimena on 17 points in the not-quite-eliminated zone.

So a bit of disaster for us, and a good day for Sarzonia. Not good for Darmen either.
South Charlia aren't last for once, good on them.

Some good news, unrelated to the football.
The new Ooshies are selling well, especially the cute Princess Bella one. Yes, the future Queen of Jeruselem after her father that is.
Please note there is no Baby Kate ones because ... I looked like Bella as well, so they wouldn't be any different.
So I have to go because it's time to go home.

OOC
Great Lausitz 0–5 Sarzonia
Nephara 5–1 Competitive Solitaire
Welzat 1–2 South Charlia
Simpralia 1–1 Darmen
Acronius 1–0 Aimena
Delaclava 2–1 Jeruselem

[Sarzonia]

The early morning normally saw reserve striker Mek'hi West asleep, at least to a point. He was an early riser and usually could be found scouring the day's news.

It was how he found out about defender Charlie King's intemperate remarks about Squornshelan politics and the international row between the Imperium and the Incorporated States.

This time, however, it was 0330 hours and West was wide awake. He started pacing the floor in the hotel suite he shared with King as the team stayed within six blocks of Great Lausitz's national stadium. The pacing soon awakened King, who'd only gotten to bed two and a half hours hence after a night on the town.

"Mate, what time is it?" King said with his voice croaking barely above a whisper. He looked at the digital clock sitting on the nightstand between their beds and frowned. "Why are you up so early?"

"I can't sleep. Coach named me to the starting 11 instead of Jake."

"Mek," King said, rubbing his eyes and sitting up. "I get it. You're nervous about starting for the first time since your injury," but we got Holly, and she can more than fill in if anything happens. Coach has confidence in you or he would've started Jake or Holly. Now get back in bed so we can both get some sleep!" King lowered back down into his bed, turned his back and closed his eyes, hoping the hyper-intelligent West would get the hint that King was trying to sleep.

West reached into the drawer of the nightstand and grabbed his room key, then put on a pair of crocs and walked out of the room. He was hoping to find someone to talk to since King wasn't receptive to talking West through his anxiety. He also used the time to pace down the hall, hoping that he could tire himself out enough to finally get some sleep. After a 45-minute trek through the entire third floor of the hotel, West finally returned to the room and lied back down.

The next day at the breakfast table, West was sitting next to midfielder Brady Reynolds, whom he noticed was grimacing as he examined the Group 7 table. He heard Reynolds grumble about Jeruselem being two points clear of the Sarzonian national football team with a match in hand. By now, West was able to compartmentalise his nerves and put things into perspective for his teammate.

"Bray-Bray," he said. "You can't worry about the things you can't control. Jeruselem are a strong side, but Delaclava are playing to great form now and [team captain Keaton] Durbridge is going to get them ready to play. All we can control is how we get ready for our match."

West ended up having nothing to worry about when it came to his first start since Sarzonia's second return to international competition. He scored two goals and earned an assist on a goal from strike partner Cayden Aguirre and the Stars routed Great Lausitz 5-0. The Phoenixes also earned a signature victory of their campaign thus far with a 2-1 home victory over the Princesses for their first victory at the sparkling new Pride of Manchester.

That turn of a friendly card vaulted Sarzonia (11-3-4, 36 points) one point ahead of Jeruselem into second place in Group 7. Coupled with Simpralia holding fourth place Darmen to a 1-1 draw, it saw the second seeds slip a full three points behind the Princesses. Nephara got back to their winning ways with a comfortable 5-1 rout over Competitive Solitaire that gave the Cormorants a 10-point cushion in the race for first place.

As elated as the small gathering of Stars supporters who made the trek to not-so Great Lausitz to watch their silver-clad heroes play, captain Clayton Wilson quickly reminded them that the next opponent were Huayramarca, a team that played the Cormorants to a 2-2 draw at home in what was Nephara's only blemish on an otherwise perfect record during qualifying. That was until Sarzonia delivered the Nephara Knockout, as some Sarzonian media outlets have taken to calling Sarzonia's 1-0 stunner.

In addition, Huayramarca only lost 1-0 to the Cormorants in Nephara, so the fact that they remained competitive against the strongest side in Group 7 was a cause for concern. The concern, however, was going to be for another day, as the Stars could celebrate their third consecutive clean sheet and Carlton Sandt's now rounding into a form that recalled older brother Horace during Sarzonia's long ago football heyday.

This current edition of the Stars may be a long way from those glory days of the past, but the present is looking promising and so, too is the future.

And, for once, West can get some well deserved sleep.
Group 7
Great Lausitz 0–5 Sarzonia
Nephara 5–1 Competitive Solitaire
Welzat 1–2 South Charlia
Simpralia 1–1 Darmen
Acronius 1–0 Aimena
Delaclava 2–1 Jeruselem

   Group 7                                     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Nephara                                      17   15   1   1    62   10  +52    46
 2 Sarzonia                                     18   11   3   4    46   32  +14    36
 3 Jeruselem                                    17   11   2   4    47   27  +20    35
 4 Darmen                                       17    9   5   3    42   28  +14    32
 5 Acronius                                     18    9   1   8    32   34   −2    28
 6 Delaclava                                    18    7   5   6    45   43   +2    26
 7 Simpralia                                    18    6   6   6    26   30   −4    24
 8 Welzat                                       18    6   6   6    22   29   −7    24
 9 Huayramarca                                  17    4   5   8    31   39   −8    17
10 Aimena                                       17    5   2  10    18   36  −18    17 
11 Great Lausitz                                17    3   3  11    19   36  −17    12 X
12 South Charlia                                18    3   3  12    17   35  −18    12 X
13 Competitive Solitaire                        18    3   2  13    16   44  −28    11 X

SCHEDULE:
MD 1: @ Delaclava^ W, 6-4
MD 2: v. Acronius L, 0-2
MD 3: @ Simpralia (Glory Park, capacity 122,000) W, 5-3
MD 4: v. Welzat L, 2-4
MD 5: @ Nephara L, 1-4 (Farham Arena, Sabrefell, capacity 88,046)
MD 6: v. Great Lausitz W, 1-0
MD 7: @ Huayamarca (Estadio Olímpico del Oriente, Sechura, capacity 26,000) W, 4-2
MD 8: BYE
MD 9: v. Competitive Solitaire W, 1-0
MD 10: @ South Charlia W, 2-0
MD 11: v. Darmen D, 2-2
MD 12: @ Aimena W, 2-0
MD 13: v. Jeruselem D, 2-2
OFF DAY
MD 14: v. Delaclava W, 5-3 (game played at Pride of Manchester, capacity 110,000)
MD 15: @ Acronius L, 1-3
MD 16: v. Simpralia D, 3-3
MD 17: @ Welzat W, 3-0 (Sir James Tretol Memorial Stadium, capacity 19,595)
MD 18: v. Nephara W, 1-0
MD 19: @ Great Lausitz W, 5-0
MD 20: v. Huayramarca
MD 21: BYE
MD 22: @ Competitive Solitaire
MD 23: v. South Charlia
MD 24: @ Darmen (Stadio Rushmore, Johnho, capacity 70,000)
MD 25: v. Aimena
MD 26: @ Jeruselem (Dazza Dallas Stadium)

^Match was played at Dave Wilson Stadium in Woodstock.

Note: Except for the match in Manchester, Delaclava, all of Sarzonia's home matches will be played at Dave Wilson Stadium in Woodstock, capacity 105,900.

[Eraman]

CHAPTER 13
THE PETARA GROUP

All the previous prime minister of Eraman has been accused of corruption before. But no concrete evidence has ever surfaced and no charges have ever been made.

The recently exposed money trail from sovereign wealth fund of the government of Eraman, Harta Nasional Berhad (HNB) to the personal account of Tun Sengalang Petara is the first time evidence of corruption has ever been brought up against a prime minister.

Funds from HNB were allegedly misappropriated to Tun Sengalang Petara personal account by moving funds from bank account to bank account to add layers of complexity so that the original source of the funds are harder to trace.

Tun Sengalang Petara is one of the four billionaires in Eraman. In fact, he is by far the richest man in the country way before he became the prime minister of Eraman. So, Eramanian have never questioned his source of wealth.

Tun Sengalang Petara is the owner of the Petara Group, the biggest conglomerate in the country. Petara Group has its hands in every industry in the country. By every industry, it really means everything.

Let's see the average life of an Eramanian. When an Eramanian wakes up in the morning, the first thing they'll do is have their breakfast. The favourite breakfast in Eraman is nasi lemak, the national dish.

Nasi lemak is made from rice. There are lots of brands of rice in Eraman. There are National, Jasmine, Champion, Wheel, Sunflower, Umbrella and lots of other brands of rice. But when one look at the label, all the rice being sold in Eraman is imported and distributed by Petarice. Everything from Petarice and Petarice is a subsidiary of Petara Group, wholly owned by Tun Sengalang Petara.

Nasi lemak needs to be cooked before being served. To cook, you need a gas stove. And when you look at the brand of the gas, the label says Petara Gas, a subsidiary of Petara Group.

If for any reason you decide to not use the gas and cook with a microwave instead, microwave needs electricity and who do you buy electricity from in Eraman? No, not Petara Energy. That company is yet to exist.

Eramanian buys electricity from Tenaga Berhad, a state-owned and the only electric utility company in Eraman. In the past, Tenaga Berhad generates its own electricity. But in the era of Tun Maha Kutty as prime minister, Tenaga Berhad was forced to buy electricity from independent power provider with an inflated price. And the biggest independent power provider in Eraman is Petara Power, a subsidiary of Petara Group.

Eramanian enjoys its nasi lemak with coffee for breakfast. You need water to make coffee. And Petara Water, a subsidiary of Petara Group, supplies water in Eraman.

After you add water to the coffee, you will need to add sugar. 2 companies monopolize sugar in Eraman. One of the companies is a state-owned company, Settler Berhad. The other one is Petara Sugar Refinery, a subsidiary of Petara Group.

After breakfast, Eramanian will leave home and takes out the trash to the trash bin in their lawn. Who collects the trash? Petara Flora, a subsidiary of Petara Group.

The main mode of transport in Eraman is a motorcycle. And when an Eramanian wants to buy the cheapest motorcycle in the market, they buy from Petara Motors, a subsidiary of Petara Group. After years of working and saving up and nagging from family members that a motorcycle is not safe, Eramanian will buy a car. The cheapest car in the Eraman market is from Petara Automobile, a subsidiary of Petara Group.

When Eramanian buys a car, they will need to buy insurance too. Where do you buy insurance from in Eraman? From Petara Insurance, a subsidiary of Petara Group. To buy a car, an Eramanian also has to make loans from a bank. And what is the number one bank in Eraman? Petara Banking, a subsidiary of Petara Group. When you drive a car in Eraman, you need to pay road toll and road toll has been privatized to Petara Works, a subsidiary of Petara Group.

If for some reason you don't want to use private transportation in Eraman, the new MRT has just been opened. The MRT project, a $13 billion project is the biggest project ever done by the government of Eraman. The main contract for the project was given to Petara Constructions, a subsidiary of Petara Group, albeit through an open tender process.

If you decided you want to use air or water transport, Petara Groups also owns the airports in Eraman through Petara Airports and the ports in Eraman through Petara Ports. The biggest airline in Eraman? No prize for a correct answer, Petara Air, a subsidiary of Petara Group. Everything is privatized to the Petara Group. Even the post office has been privatized to the Petara Group.

Most Eramanians though think that the success of Petara Group is achieved through hard work instead of corruption or cronyism.

[Baggieland]

The Daily Boing

Starblaydia 3 – 1 Baggieland FT (2 – 0 HT)

Starblaydia completed the double over Baggieland with a three – one victory. Fred Buckingham had once again turned to his second XI, as the first team was involved in the inaugural Nordsjø Derby.

Baggieland had a promising start to the game, with plenty of early possession, but they couldn’t find the key to unlock an organised Starblaydian defence. Allen had the best chance to open the scoring when he tested the keeper with a long range shot, but the keeper was equal to it. As the half wore on, the home side gained in stature and their play was rewarded with two goals towards the end of the half.

When the teams came out for the second half, Baggieland again started as the stronger side. This time, their endeavour was rewarded in the 62nd minute when Baggieland was awarded a freekick just outside the penalty box. Cunningham lined up the shot, and struck it sweetly, as the keeper was nothing more than a spectator. Unfortunately, Starblaydia came back with another goal not long afterwards, to give the Throstles a mountain to climb. A late effort on goal by Ginger went just wide, but the day belonged to the home side.

Baggieland stats:

Scorers:
Billy Cunningham: (62’).

Possession: 47%.
Corners: 5.

Tournament scorers:
Jeff Richardson: 8.
Bomber Robson: 6.
Ginger Astle: 6.
Ronnie Regis: 4.
Billy Cunningham: 3.
Ray Brunt: 2.
Jonas McAuley: 2.
John Moore: 1.
Cyrille Allen: 1.

International goals:
Jeff Richardson: 12.
Bomber Robson: 6.
Ginger Astle: 6.
Ronnie Regis: 5.
Ray Brunt: 4.
Jonas McAuley: 3.
Billy Cunningham: 3.
Chris Barlow: 1.
John Moore: 1.
Cyrille Allen: 1.

[Geektopia]

Geektivities
*Be cool, be woke.
Reports done by Cuperton, who comes off as an asshat somehow even more so then Pentahectillion looked to be in '84

The editor is happy and so are most Geektopians

95X 0-1 Geektopia
A game to end many things - more importantly 95X's terrifying stretch of wins in campaign

Goals: 42' (Osorto | Geektopia)

95X fell to a one-nil defeat at theirselves this Tuesday, not dropping off the board in terms of standings, but deepening personal problems gave the Greens their own heart attack of joy, and a chance to knock Osarius off of their fourth place perch which is still settled on 28 after a knackering fellage to up-and-comers Zeta Reka and Hugeltaldom. Same scoreline, one nothing.

Geektopia have been proving themselves in both ways this qualifying cycle, losing to the first XI to have been confirmed eliminated from qualifying in Group Twelve Jerauuk in a jarring game just before the comeback to sixth, but contradictingly possessing a 1-1-0 record against top dogs and top seeds Starblaydia, who seems to be most dedicated in terms of international football, having the first confirmed roster for qualifying out of, well, really any participating nation.

This is a game the Greenheads didn't deserve even more than the upsets, the goods and the bads. The scoreline looked like it came from a Geektopian propaganda newspaper, but let's get into the game.

GKTA's one-name defender Osorto won the game from the first half with an unstoppable strike to boot his awesome auger, flummoxing the 95Xer goalkeeper Lauren Hills by blasting a first time shot inside the near post from a tight vantage point.

The Green and Blues would score two more in the middle of post-break, from the seventy-seventh and eighty-third minutes, which is what normal living being would like to call the second half, but a Video Assistant Referee would thwart 95X at every which way. The official was lambasted for allegiance to Geektopia post-game, but went home to his family safely after an exhausting way out past the two nation's fans.

Code: Select all

Player Ratings (top 3 as everyone else in this horrible editor's book got a third quarter of 100 (also, "match winner, enough said?!" The fuck is that supposed to mean?! You give me a good report next time Cuperton, and a damn good one, or you're partitioned to not conjure up association football articles from then on. Aren't those the only articles you're good at writing anyways? I'd be effectively firing you then which would be a good riddance.)

Osorto: 9.5
Match winner, enough said.

Leabo: 8.3
Conceded two potential goals that were riddled with offside calls like a certain bullet hell game, but all things considered, was the saving grace to peter out multiple chances where the defense opened up like a balloon to orange juice.

Loui: 7.6
Didn't do much throughout the game and throughin it, conceded a cringe-worthy multitude of corners, the final straw being I don't like the structural quality of his face. Talk about being prejudiced for the right reason, huh? He doesn't even have a good chemistry with the guy he coallegiated with to score the winning goal against Starblaydia.

[Independent Athletes from Quebec]

OOC : Just a side RP. Going to take a day off from the serious RP storyline.

Sometimes, poor form would kill you. Other times, it would challenge you just enough to bring the better form in you. Five straight losses that the Grim Reapers suffered from the My Little Valladar presents...The Grim Reapers tour and the first two matches back in the Qualifying Stage, may have proved to be a blessing in disguise, as the Grim Reapers have rebounded quite adequately with four straight wins.

And the four wins, while not executed in the most ideal of fashion, were at least cleaner. After a tough home loss to Poafmersia, where the Grim Reapers were shelled with tomatoes and flying debris, they quickly bounced back. They first flew abroad to easily dispatch Shokpos, even though they did allow a goal off a silly ball-handling mistake by Okropir, which caused the Turoki Tide goalkeeper to be spanked 5 times by a Mjolnir after the game. Then they came home to a convincing 2-0 win over Andromeda Islands, before continuing the pace with two more mediocre wins.

This had put the Grim Reapers well underway and running about in their first World Cup qualifying campaign back in sixteen years. Of course, everybody had known all along that the Grim Reapers’ last four wins, however convincing they may have been to an unaware foreigner, were marginally better than the dreadful performance at Leith Park last year that got the entire national team spanked 50 times with a cricket bat after an embarrassing 1-1 draw against Revatnagar. Still, they were in third place of what has been an neverending mess that was the top half of Group Fifteen, and with the defence having found their groove to keep the bleeding to minimum, they finally calmed the rabid, nonstop boos that came out of their fanbase in six months.

And as the Grim Reapers heard the final whistle, to mark the end of the 1-0 victory at OVO Arena in Kingston, Frontenac, all looked peaceful again for the Grim Reapers, for the first time in about a year now. It was that promising wave of calm, positive energy that wasn’t in the air ever since their MD4 victory against Andromeda Islands that brought the Grim Reapers to a 4-0-0 start. Now all looked lovely; the pyromaniacs were blasting fireworks in the air, the bands were playing [I've Had] The Time of My Life, and of course, the fans were either giving the Grim Reapers a round of applause, as the players bowed to the wildly enthusiastic Kingston crowd. For tonight’s QBC broadcast, everybody knew the commentators were going to leave behind the clinical errors in favour of praising the Grim Reapers’ defence and Okropir the master saver.

It is with that high note that the Grim Reapers were to return, yet the usual thing that would mark the unwinding of the weekend off did not happen this time. On most normal days, the Grim Reapers, as a team, would collectively head back to their hotel for the night’s stay before flying back to their respective destinations the very next morning. Given that it was in late November, when the Q-League season was still starting to pick up some storm, that was expected. The wonky schedule of the Qualification Campaign this time around, however, had meant that the Grim Reapers’ players got RQFA-mandated two extra days off for their contribution to the team. This, at the same time, also coincided with the Jeruselem-Delaclava match held in Manchester; while the Grim Reapers' match started at 13:00 and were finished by 15:00, the Phoenixes were to kick off at 18:00 and finish the match by 20:00.

This was all too lucrative to be ignored. Not only was it a match that featured Jeruselem and Delaclava, but the natural proximity of Delaclava had meant that it would be under perfect timing for the Quebecois to partake in what were to become a national, regional, and global form of an orgy. Naturally, the dark hands of the Bubonic Plague, the Grim Reapers' supporter group with three million on their membership roll call, reached out to a few players the week before, for an offer they couldn't refuse, and frankly they accepted it while under drunken stupor. To say the least those players, who sensed the opportunity, took the money and ran off with it..

-----

‘Good afternoon passengers. This is your captain speaking. First I’d like to welcome everyone on FAS Air Flight QF6969. We are currently cruising at an altitude of 35,000 feet at an airspeed of 400 miles per hour. The time is 3:35 p.m. The weather looks favourable and with the tailwind on our side, we are expecting to land in Manchester in approximately four hours and fifteen minutes. The weather in Manchester is clear and sunny, with a high of 39 degrees for this afternoon. Favourable weather permitting, we are expected to see the beautiful sunset as we land in Manchester. The cabin crew will be coming around in about seven minutes’ time to offer you lunch and alcoholic beverages, as well as contraceptives essential for tonight’s operation. I’ll be making my announcement once again before we reach our destination. Until then, sit back, relax and enjoy the rest of the flight.’

‘Whose idea was this to charter the entire Ce540 to Delaclava?’ Sean Piugattuk complained from his first class seat, as ‘Sean the technologically incompetent’ tried to control the controller on his seat with little success. ‘I’m sure this must have costed a lot of money.’

‘I mean, it’s obviously not mine.’ Marco Hertel, universally recognised as the most talented and least moralistic player on the team, responded. ‘You know I would rather just fly to Cleopatrana whenever I feel like it. Or just fly home to Jeruselem where my family’s around.’

‘Well, it’s still silly that we’re bringing 340 fans with us to Delaclava, just for an orgy. What will the RQFA think about the fact that the Bubonic Plague sponsored this?’ Piugattuk complained. ‘Like legit, we got routinely spanked for lot lighter things. You sure it's not a trap?'

‘Yet you’re here.’ Team resident wife-poacher Michel Fillion shook his head with ease, having not learned the lessons from the previous season’s mistake that caused him to be kicked out of Montreal Koreana. ‘Shush, ain’t nobody giving a darn about what the flying fuck the RQFA gave on us fifteen years ago. We’re still the unknown factor for many, and I bet we can sneak into the orgy with the Phoenixes and hopefully the Stars players, and their entourage. Heard they got lots of sexy b****es over there.’

‘Calm the fuck down, you three! You consider yourself lucky that Coach Mah’s letting you all go with the Bubonic Plague to the Jeruselem-Delaclava post-game orgy in Manchester! Not always the case where they pay for y’all travel expenses, all-inclusive. Consider yourself lucky!’ The defensive coach, a former Quebecois legendary centre back named Eugene Cohen, turned from his seat and calmed his quartet of idiots (the fourth one was Evander Bush-Sprenger, the twenty-five year old Heart of Sauenay Captain. Having said his piece of mind, coach Eugene went back to his seat and closed his eyes as he decided to have a couple of hours of sleep before the night of never-ending fun that were to come to the Grim Reapers and their faithfully violent supporters group.

[Tequilo]

TAPALUPÉ, Tequilo - Three quarters of the way through qualifying for the World Cup, we take a look at what happened in the next series of games in our debut campaign. Plus we have Rúi de Los Rovas, and his old nemesis Roy Keane.

But first - what happened to Los Pitxileros in World Cup qualifying? Let’s fire up the Copametro to find out…

TUMBLERS TUMBLED IN CHEERGIRLS RUMBLE
Cheergirls 0-1 TEQUILO HT: 0-1

Location: Hazel City High School Field Att: 23 proud mothers and 132 lecherous high school jocks
SCORERS: Tutayan 11’

If ever Los Pitxileros needed a win it was now, after four defeats in five games and the campaign for mid-table mediocrity on the rails - and it was never going to be easy over an unpredictable and spell-binding Cheergirls team who has already spanked Tequilo back in Tapalupé in game six. But this time the agave-blues were not to be distracted by all the stunts and tumbles, playing hard and pressing high to prevent the home team from building up any momentum or getting into their sometimes formidable shapes. The match was not loaded with excitement, and the one-goal margin probably reflected the lack of gilt-edged chances for either side - but it is the points that count, and Tequilo came away with all three in determined style.

Coach Isaac Martí will be looking to build on the win in High School County with the upcoming home tie over Vlasistan, and thereby to break a poor run of form at home. He will stick with largely the same side that rolled over Cheergirls, only goal-scorer Tutayan missing after a strain, to be replaced by young prodigy Masango Sukè. That means Onorato Claver retains his place at the head of the diamond even with another young star, Niño Pinto, now available for selection.

---

Starting Line-Up for TEQUILO vs. Vlasistan:
Bienvenida | Zambo, Apeiztegui (Capitan), Huracán, Chicchan | Huachalla | Artechevarria, Claver, Sukè | Tlacolotl & Toran

VENUE:
Estadio Florentzio Mesperuza, Iragartze, Puezan. Capacity: 72,400

The home of Tequilo’s most successful club of all time, CF Frantxizko-A; this will be a rowdy night in the state’s second city of Iragartze, where fans will be hoping to break a wretched run of three consecutive home defeats on the stadium tour around the country for World Cup qualifying.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
What ever happened to Roy Keane?

We take a departure from real life today to look at one of the most famous characters from the Rúi de Los Rovas comic book series, and the nemesis of Rúi Raza during both his playing career and later his early management: the rotten devil Roy Keane, ever trying to get one up on Rúi in a variety of different and creative ways from studding his kneecap into oblivion, to walking out on their national team during the ‘FIFA’ World Cup, to saying bad things about the beloved Rúi in his autobiography. And whilst Rúi survived all these and more from Roy the Rotter to make his grand return in the new GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!! Magazine at the ripe old age of 125, we wonder, what do the comic writers imagine happened to Roy Keane? Will he be making a comeback for one final face-off with Rúi and the Raza family? We spoke to ‘Rúi’ writer Aimar Gallego at GOLa for the low down, but there will disappointment for the considerable number of ‘Keano’ fans who liked to see someone have a go at the all-too-clean Rúi Raza - there are no plans to bring him back. He was last seen seventy years ago trying his hand at television punditry, before being quietly retired. Now, says Aimar, “in the office we like to think Roy the Rotter withdrew peacefully to a mansion in Cheshire [A place where rich players at big-potatoes fictional club Manchester United liked to live - ed.] and spent the rest of his days walking his beloved dogs and mumbling bitterly about things that didn’t go right for him - which to be fair, was most everything after he stopped playing.”

---

QUARTER OF QUALIFIERS
World Cup Review 3/4

---

Three quarters of the way through qualifying for the World Cup, and let’s take a look at what happened in the next series of games in our debut: and after such a long campaign of reporting from the start of the Baptism of Fire until now, the main press team here at GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!! are showing the first signs of weariness, so have been given the day off by the editor. Instead, intern, janitor and cha wallah Juan Line Jaureguy has been given his first commission to produce his pithy summaries… and frankly, we’re having to give this issue out for free because we can’t justify charging a single chélinpeso for this tosh.

TRAVELLING HOME WOES
National qualifying on the road results in three defeats in three stadiums - thanks to the UPT’s generous plan, now everyone gets to see Tequilo lose.

TUMBLERS TUMBLED IN CHEERGIRLS RUMBLE
Because every former inadequate high schooler ends up needing to get revenge on a cheerleader for some form of emotional slight at some point. (I may have stolen that headline.)

SIR BARSEMONIOUS THE BARSE
A legendary knight of the Oblong Table from the Holy Empire is to be inducted into the Shambolic Pantheon - where he will spend his time tilting at windmills and chasing the phantom Cacao-Lobo, a sort of brown-ish dodobird.

PLAYER OF THE QUARTER
And the winner is… Haize Apeiztegui. Someone better than me, with more time on their hands, really ought to write a canny bio about our wonderful veteran defender who plays for Unuiĝinta in Puezan.

CLASS OF ’72: THE ELEPHANTS
Mavinet may have won the thing, and our own dear sweet agave-blues may have scored the most goals and been unbeaten in eleven matches - but BoF’72 darlings South Newlandia are doing all the representing right now - still in with a chance of qualifying and with two - TWO - wins over the Pointy Ears, something that might take another nation a lifetime to achieve.

NEW MOPHEADS REQUIRED
I just thought I’d add this in since the purchasing office seems to be ignoring my requisition slips and the corridor floors are looking terrible - this is a stain on my professional reputation.

RÚI de Los ROVAS
Rúi Raza & the family company are back!

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Read on as we catch up with the youngest member of the Raza family, Rodi Raza-Shearer, trainee at Blackburn Rovers. The Rovers youth team boss Lofty Crouch is not impressed with Rodi’s start at the club, and while his place in the youth team hangs in the balance, things aren’t much better in his digs where Rodi has strayed out of bounds with the landlady’s daughter Tina; could there be a Generation 6 on the way? As life looks dangerously close to caving in for the silly boy, there’s only one thing he can think to do, and that is call his sensible Great Uncle Alan, on the Shearer side of the family. But if Rúi finds out the young whippersnapper who replaced him at Rovers is now the kids’ go to relative, he’ll be furios. Meanwhile grandfather Ronaldo (Roni) and mother Rita Raza are busy globetrotting for the family agency, looking to get a transfer over the line in Milan, with Inter’s Lautaro Martinez minimum release clause about to expire and Barcelona waiting in the wings. But where does this leave the Agency’s cash cow Neymar, who is always good for a world record transfer and wants to return to his modest cottage in Barcelona? He’s tired of life as a big fish in a really rather small pond in France, and PSG are tired of him too, the big show-off.

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NEXT TIME
What’s Up In The Next Issue of GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-a!!!

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Coming soon - In the next issue of Extra, we continue our state-to-state look at domestic football in Tequilo, focusing on Chazapa and one of the Big Two of the game: Pitxi-Pitxi 77. Plus, what ever happened to Roy Sessions, the much-loved orphan with delusions of granduer? And more for Rúi de Los Rovas, as Roque Raza tries to persuade his father that you can’t run a football agency off a yacht moored in the arctic circle under the watchful eye of asthmatic Russian despot Vlad the Inhaler.

[Sylestone]

Sylestone lost yet another game, this time 3-1 to West Pocono. The loss meant that they stayed on the bottom of the table with eight points.
It meant that they hadn't won for fourteen whole matchdays, but they are a new side and are not expected to do well. Although they are bottom of the table, the twelfth-placed side is only two points ahead of them, so a win over them will be important if they are to not get the wooden spoon. But hey, one game at a time and you never know what can happen.
Another issue was raised after the game, as the normally brilliant Brick Wall let in another three goals during the game, which meant that he had let in a whopping eleven goals in three games, a massive number for a defensive-minded side. It has been confirmed he will remain in the side for their next game but what will happen after, no-one knows.
West Pocono, who were totally unprepared for their first game against the Appliances, came back knowing their tactics and exploited their very own back at them. The Brick Wall let two goals in in the first twenty minutes and another slightly before half time. At 3-0 down, and their dirty tactics failing, the Appliances had a rethink of the game and went on ultra-defence for the first half-hour after the break. Finally, the Ironing Board broke the West Pocono defence and scored a brilliant goal, his second for the tournament. The remainder of the game was pretty nothing as Sylestone tried, and failed, to break through again. The scoreline was 3-1 and the Appliances walked off the field, dejected. However, the result was not unexpected, as West Pocono are a strong side in Group 4, although have a lower qualifying pot than the Appliances. But as they say, when you're bottom of the table, you can only get better, so we'll see what happens in the next game against third-placed and pot one side South Covello.

[The Jovannic]

The game of two halves: Sarvojarna 3-2 The Jovannic

First Half

As the players enter the stadium, the tension is at an all time high. The last time these two teams met, Sarvojarna smacked The Jovannic 3-0. Lets hope thats not the case this match.

1' And it's kickoff and Sarvojarna with the ball sprinting up the field......a good pass in......tackled! good defending by Raye and Kallin.

7' Huigen Lirviti looking comfortable with the ball, good pass down on the right.....Jovan sprinting down the field......He passes one, two.... intercepted just as he was about to shoot! Good effort.

11' Sarvojarna dominating play and pushing upwards...... to the striker and to the midfielders, left and right......A striker has broken through and has the ball! What a save by Mavin Tsuniki! Brilliant!

16' Sarvojarna takes the ball from Sami and are now sprinting with incredible speed across the field...... Brilliant pass! and he looks like he is about to blast a shot from long range.... Mavin can't reach it! It's one nil for the home side.

32' Sarvojarna have the ball again, and Stockain with the tackle...No! The Sarvojar player weaves around him. He sends a probing pass...It's in! How? the Sarvojar player just came out of nowhere! look...the ref is signaling for a stoppage...looks like the Sarvojar player pushed Kish out of the way to grab the ball...Is it disallowed?.........No it isn't!

37' Raye with the ball... He loses it! he sprinting to get it back but he can't! The Sarvojar player tucks it away neatly! 3-0 to the Sarvojars!

41' Kallin with a reckless tackle there.... he gets a yellow!

42' Sami with the ball... ball intercepted...he tries to get it back... what a horrible tackle! That's a sure yellow!

45+1' Sarvojarna with the ball.... Nivario is coming to intercept... Clips the leg! The ref has given him a yellow! Quite harsh if you ask me.

The first half is over, and The Jovannic are in a right tight spot. 3-0 down, pinned to the wall. Gothal Mathee chose to use the defensive tactic used so well against Chromichatika and Sabalonia, but Sarvojarna just broke through. This is looking like its going to be like the previous Sarian or Sarvojar matches all over again. Or maybe, just maybe, it is going to be another Previous previous Sarian match, if you know what I mean.

Second Half

45' And we kick off again!

47' The Jovannic playing with much more intensity here, even the defenders are pushing up sometimes!

49' Rivilia is flying down the wings... A good cross in.... Sami!!!! Saved by the Sarvojar keeper. That was really close. The Jovannic really are putting the pressure on Sarvojarna.

61' Huigen really is a commanding presence in the field...He passes to Ianu, who turns... Sami...Jin Tze...back to Huigen....Jovan is there! GOALLLL!!! they are back in it!

65' We have a free kick in a good position! Jovan will take it..... Hits the crossbar! so close!

71' Both teams are now exchanging chances, but The Jovannic seems to have the better chances....

83' Ianu sprints towards the defence....He side passes! Sami...... oOooooo... what a save...

88' Jin Tze with the ball... to Kish...over to Stockain... to Ianu... over to Jovan... tricks one...weaving another turning around...HE IS FREE! he scores! what a goal! The Jovannic is back in contention!

90+2' This may be the final chance of the game as The Jovannic push forward.... they may break through..... No! they get intercepted and that is the final whistle! Sarvojarna hold on to defeat The Jovannic!

Gothal Mathee: "In the first half we tried to defend and hold the Sarvojar team back, but all we did was let them have more space to attack from. That was a tactical mistake on my part. In the second half, we pushed back hard and forced them back almost equalising. I am proud of my boys for having shown such great resilience. We will need it for the next match.

The Jovannic's next match is against Terre Septentrionale, whose match against us saw the rise of the 4-2-4 formation we still use. We lost that match, but like that match we gained somthing valuable and played well. We must use the form to our advantage.

Man of the match: Jovan Ilohil

Starting Eleven
Mavin Tsuniki, Huhigal Sliversti, Raye Eng, Kallin Yustat, Nivario Wesh, Jin Tze, Stockain Lelop, Rivilia Yunsala, Sami Ning, Ianu Fathe, Jovan Ilohil

[Twicetagram and JYPe]

Rayo's Number: Largest Finite Number
If you look at the world of mathematics, you will see a lot of theories of pure infinity. What is infinity? How much is infinity exactly?
There have been answers to this. Some say aleph null is like a countable infinity. Some go even further, and say aleph one, aleph two, blah blah blah.
But as we count on, we realise that these numbers may not be computable at all, so let's go back to say, googol. No, that's too small. Googolplex. Too small. Googolplexian. Let's go one step further. What about 1, followed by a googolplexian zeros? That'll bring us to googolplexianth. However, this number is still quite small.
Another gargantuan number is Graham's number. It's like, bigger. Bigger than the universe. But do we stop here? No, we don't.
As we go down the road, we find more crazy numbers. The solution to Kruskal's tree theorem with 3, ONLY, 3 trees. Pretty insane.
As you go up the hierarchies, we finally find an answer to the most finite number: Rayo's number. Rayo's number was coined at a 'big number duel' at MIT on 26 January 2007.
If we go any further(don't), then we reach the actual infinities.
Aleph null, epsilon null, Cantor's ordinal, Feferman-Schutte's ordinal. All those numbers you may not have heard of finally ends with the big gun. Absolute infinity, or Ω.
But what if we take 1/Ω? What will we get?
Our qualification chances for the World Cup 85. Peace.