World Cup 85 || RP Thread

[Krytenia]

Newmanistan, I selected O'Bryan as captain from your player bios as he seemed the most likely candidate. If this is wrong I'm happy to edit a correction.

Well, We've Won Something At Least
By Rami Niblick in Emberton

AS the broken fragments of the beginnings of their World Cup Qualifying lay around them, and their faces charred with the metaphorical soot and ash, the Dragons team emerge with a point, a trophy, and the most valuable thing of all: hope. It may not have been the most spectacular attacking display of all, but for the first time in this campaign the team looked confident and competent in the middle of the park. The result could have been better, but a point is a point, and it's finally a base for Jerome Jaffacake-Phillips' men to work from.

Newmanistan are a well-drilled side, and gave the Dragons few chances. Stephen Mariner and opposite number Adrian O’Bryan at times looked like chess grandmasters on opposite side of the board, attempting to gain a positional advantage in an unusually slow-tempo match. Ross Green marshalled the defence effectively, and Krytenia could not be faulted for the goal they conceded in the first half, Brent Chapman's half-volleyed howitzer from a full thirty yards out being one of those strikes that will dominate highlight reels for decades to come.

Going forward, the Krytenian fivesome found themselves stifled and contained by an excellent Newmanistan rearguard. Neil Smith had a lot of the ball, but few options, the Rockets happy to let him have the ball at range whilst at the same time cutting off his opportunities to distribute and create. Smith was perseverent, however, and the equaliser came when he finally decided to take things into his own hands, beating one man and drawing two more onto him. With someone - finally - to pass to, Smith threaded an inch-perfect ball to Rafa Mendonca, who curled a shot past the advancing Ryan McNamara to make it one-all.

The final whistle marked a decent result and Krytenia's first point of the campaign; it also marked the Dragons' retention of the Cyan Cup, the friendly trophy contested for whenever these two sides meet. It will be another respectful but intense encounter when the two sides meet on Matchday Seventeen; in the meantime, Krytenia will be hoping to get a rich run of form going before taking on favourites Vilita with two winnable games agains Oberour Ar Moro and Drunk People At The Local Tavern. Onward!

KRYTENIA - 1
Mendonca 69

NEWMANISTAN - 1
Chapman 32

[Emastalia]

Another Entertaining Draw!


Emastalia 0-0 Qvardax

-Sean Gillapi(EMA) Yellow Card 56'

Overview: Emastalia draws with the Vardian(Demonym of Qvardax) team 0-0 sporting their away outfit. It was an interesting match as both sides used beautiful plays in an attempt to score. Yet to no avail as a the scoreless game continued to the second half. The only noticeable part of the match was that Gillapi got a yellow card after a dangerous tackle against a Vardian attacker. The coach plans to switch up the style of play for their next match.

[Torisakia]

Date: Current day, Current year - 1:24PM TST
Location: Bort Stevens' home, Tokai, Torisakia
Topic: Bort Stevens' phone log

Persons involved:
Bortmorvius "Bort" Stevens - the caller
Operator - the desk attendant at the Torisakia Sports Historical Society
Sally Needlesman - Director of Sports Records

TRANSCRIPT

A phone rings three times. It clicks, and someone on the other end answers.

OPERATOR: Thank you for calling the Torisakia Sports Historical Society. How may I direct your call?

BORT: Yes. I would like to speak with someone who knows about the relationship between Cassidy McKenzie of the Torisakia national ice hockey team and Kal Skirata of the Gyatso-kai national ice hockey team that occurred approximately many years ago.

There is a slight pause on the other end.

OPERATOR: You'll need to speak with our Director of Sports Records. I'll transfer you to her right now.

Some upbeat music begins to play as Bort's call is being transferred. He seems to recognize the song.

BORT: I hope this is the Duff Paddy version of this song, and not that Singh piece of shit!

Lyrics begin over the music and Bort realizes which version of the song it is. It apparently isn't the one he wanted.

BORT: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! Dammit!

The call is picked up on the other end.

SALLY: This is Sally Needlesman, Director of Sports Records. How may I assist you?

BORT: Yes. I would like know what information you have about the relationship between Cassidy McKenzie of the Torisakia national ice hockey team and Kal Skirata of the Gyatso-kai national ice hockey team that occurred approximately many years ago.

Sally pauses for a few moments before answering

SALLY: Uh sir there's never been any player on the Torisakia national ice hockey team named Cassidy McKenzie.

BORT: Yes there was. I remember seeing her when the team still existed. The late, great Murvin Alexander even joked about her boobs once!

SALLY: Again sir there is not nor has there ever been a player on the Torisakia national ice hockey team named Cassidy McKenzie. I don't have time for your fanfictions.

BORT: I can prove beyond a reasonable doubt that she did exist! Can you at least tell me if Kal Skirata existed?

SALLY: Uh sure, let me see here.

Sally types something on her computer and intermittent mouse clicks follow.

SALLY: Ah yes. Kal Skirata does indeed exist in the nation of Gyatso-kai.

BORT: So how come you can look up and see that he exists but you won't do the same for Cassidy?

SALLY: Because I know that there's never been anyone with that name on the team. It would be a waste of time and energy to look it up.

Bort now goes from being cheery to being a bit cross.

BORT: Alright. Can you pull up information of Alexei Borodin for me, please?

SALLY: Sir there's never been anyone with that name on the national ice hockey team either.

BORT: What?! Okay then look up Mathias Kristiansen.

Sally starts getting annoyed with Bort's demands.

SALLY: Ugh, fine.

More keyboard clacks and mouse clicks are heard

SALLY: Ok. Yes. Mathias Kristiansen was a player for the Torisakia national ice hockey team a few years ago.

BORT: Okay and can you pull up the last roster he was on and tell me who was the left defense-man and right-wing forward?

SALLY: Mhmm.

More clacks and clicks.

SALLY: No names come up. Just a blank box. Guess there were no players in that position.

BORT: WHAT?! Are you serious?

SALLY: No, I'm Sally Needlesman.

Bort goes from being a bit cross to increasingly annoyed.

BORT: Alright, seriously. You HAVE to know who I'm talking about. Cassidy became involved in the Kiraism cult a few years ago? Ended with her and several other sportspeople dying before the TCTF raided the compound and freed the children. It was all over the news back then.

The line goes silent for a moment in though.

SALLY: Mmmm...nope. Doesn't ring a bell. There's never been evidence of any cult by the name of 'Kiraism' according to my records.

BORT: Oh come on! Okay then, look up a man named Mikami who had ties to-

Bort is cut off by a fed-up Sally.

SALLY: I don't want to sound nasty, young man. But fuck yourself. I can hold you on the line if you have another request, but in the mean time I'm going back to my soap operas.

Bort goes from being increasingly annoyed to absolutely furious.

BORT: ALRIGHT YOU LISTEN HERE LADY. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU SH-

The line cuts off, indicating that Sally has ended the call.

BORT: Fucking hung up on my ass...

END TRANSCRIPT

[Barunia]

The Scarlet Standard

Get in! The Suns smash the Red Wolves of Timuria, and I’m laughing all the way to the bank. It was never in any doubt really. Barunia were the better side from the moment of kick-off, and they never let the pressure up on the Timurian goal. 4 to the Suns: two beauties to Elwin the bloody legend, and 1 for our new hero Swan. Sara Moorhouse also scored. Infeel we need a nickname for her. Perhaps Supergirl, the way she flies around the box. Or superwoman?

The win also means I can get one over on the publishers of this rag they call something like icsi gazeti. Sounds like something you say after someone sneezes. Anyway, this miserable excuse for a paper suggested that the Suns would be a cakewalk, just because the Timurains happened to be ranked higher. Do these people do their fucking research? Five minutes would have told you that the rank is an anomaly, caused by us not being in the last world cup. We were once 9th in the world, for fuck’s sake. Bet Timuria never rises that high.

I read their article on the match, and two things stood out. First of all, whoever wrote it appears to have never seen a woman before, given the pronouns they used to describe Louise Cartwright. I mean, have they seen her? There’s no way anyone should be thinking she was a bloke. No offence ladies, but you know what I’m talking about.
The other thing was they appeared to have nothing to day about their team’s performance, it was so bad. Suck on that!

Should stop wasting time on these punks. Let us move on, to Olastor at Memorial Stadium. We know the name, but apart from that, I got nothing. Except that they’ve been around for a while.
It should be a great game, and hopefully another win for the Suns. We are near the top of the table. The big issue for Barunia is the big three:Kelssek, Cassadaigua and Sargossa, none of who have dropped a game yet. There is still a loooooong way to go, but only top 2 qualify, so we need to keep this momentum going.

That’s all from me. See you hopefully in Edwardton, stay safe, and go Suns!

Troggs out.

[Sarzonia]

The match turned out just as Kevin Connelly dreaded. The Sarzonian national football team's defence was shredded at seemingly every turn, and his decision to return Paolo Gomes to his role as starting goalkeeper was looking worse and worse by the minute.

Finally, after the Stars listlessly filed into the home dressing room in the bowels of Dave Wilson Stadium in Woodstock on the wrong side of a 4-0 scoreline to Welzat in the first half as a restless 89,378 booed them off the pitch in the first half, Connelly snapped.

He upended the table holding the orange slices that only a couple of players had been fortunate enough to pick up before the manager stormed in after he'd just had a barely coherent interview with a sideline reporter unfortunate enough to corner him with questions about the team's first half play.

"How many fucking times do I have to tell you that we've got to focus out there!" he screamed after the last of the orange slices succumbed to gravity and landed on the floor at his feet. "We're getting beat every which way but sideways out there and the rate we're going, we're going to get our arses beat there too!"

The Stars would end up getting goals from Jake Campos and Mek'hi West to make the score look cosmetically better, and the defence seemed to coalesce around Charlie King, who donned the captain's armband when Connelly benched team captain Russ Howard for West in an effort to get some pressure in front of Royals keeper Grant Overton. The Stars would look more the part of the 65th ranked team in the world in the second half and actually slightly got the better of play in the half, but a still fuming Connelly, who declined to address reporters after the match, would later ruefully admit that the team's slightly better form was too little, too late.

The Stars sat at .500, two wins and two losses from four matches, and they'd both scored and conceded 13 goals in those four matches, figures that a team that sought a balance between offence and defence would find completely unacceptable. For a team facing the 186th ranked team at home, in particular, a Royals team that was somewhat more defensive minded than Sarzonia, allowing four goals in the first half was beyond the pale.

Connelly angrily slammed the receiver of the phone in his hotel room in Sabrefell when it was "some middle-echelon coffee-drinker" from the Incorporated Football Federation announcing that he'd been fined $1,000 Sarzonian for refusing to address the media after the match. He was far too busy with his plans for the world's fourth ranked team in the stadium Nephara reserved for its most important matches. Surely, the Stars realised how important the match was to them, but they figured their 65th rank and the embarrassing nature of their defeat to a Welzat team in front of their home crowd that they felt they should have handily defeated meant the Cormorants would dismiss the match against the long ago world champions as just another match.

After all, Sarzonia had done nothing to generate any kind of buzz that might otherwise have circulated about the matchup between the only two countries to have ever won the WCC Triple Crown. Sarzonia did it long ago when the Baptism of Fire was a relatively new concept. They'd done it when the Cup of Harmony was only just finding its way. They'd done it when Dave Wilson wasn't just a name on a stadium. They'd done it when Brian Wilson was a hall of fame-caiibre player who became only the second to notch a hat trick in a World Cup final. They'd done it when Brian Wilson was the first player to notch a hat trick for a championship-winning team as Sani Luvo scored his three goals for a losing Kaze Progressa side.

The Stars of this current World Cup qualifying campaign were playing like shit right now. That's the only thing Connelly could see.

Perhaps when he looked back in retrospect, he might be able to see that the Stars he managed in the previous qualifying campaign notched their second victory of the first half of qualifying on their 10th matchday against an unranked side. Perhaps he could see that it was the second half of qualifying that saw the Stars really shine, pulling off impressive results including The Brenecia Beatdown that still resonated among Stars supporters. For Connelly, that match was beginning to seem like a distant memory, even though it only took place months prior to the day that saw him in Nephara preparing his game plan.

As he sat in the hotel room preparing to gather with assistant manager Kevin Wilson, he wondered out loud if he should show confidence in his shaken goalkeeper Gomes or start the youngster Carlton Sandt. Sandt was barely 20, but he had one thing only Clayton Wilson had: Pedigree. Sandt was, of course, a legendary name of Sarzonia's football past as older brother Horace backstopped the world champions, only conceding a single goal in multiple World Cup qualifying campaigns. Clayton Wilson, was, of course, the great-grandson of former Stars manager Dave Wilson, the grandson of Brian, the great-nephew of Kevin, and the son of Zack Wilson. Clayton was on the players bench, getting into a couple of matches, but then Connelly decided he wanted to fuck shit up.

He pulled out his mobile as the coaching staff gathered at the table in Connelly's hotel room.

"Clay," he said. "You're starting against the Cormorants," he said. "And, there's another thing."

"What's that?"

"You're wearing the captain's armband tomorrow night."

Clayton Wilson nearly dropped his mobile phone.

Getting into the starting 11 was one thing. He figured if he worked hard, if he was coachable, and he was a solid citizen, he would earn his way there as long as he avoided injuries.

Being named captain even ahead of the likes of now-former captain Howard or Brady Reynolds or even Charlie King when he felt like one of the kids on the team was something completely different.

"Th-the armband?" Clayton managed after a few seconds of sitting with both his eyes and his mouth agape.

It was a move intended to shake the team from its doldrums and shed the complacency of a team Connelly felt needed it. Time would tell if the move backfired.

Group 7
Huayramarca 2–2 Nephara
Sarzonia 2–4 Welzat
Competitive Solitaire 1–0 Simpralia
South Charlia 0–4 Acronius
Darmen 5–2 Delaclava
Aimena 5–4 Jeruselem

-  Group 7                                     Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Darmen                                        3    3   0   0    12    5   +7     9
 2 Acronius                                      4    2   1   1     8    3   +5     7
   Nephara                                       3    2   1   0     7    2   +5     7
 4 Huayramarca                                   4    2   1   1     8    6   +2     7
 5 Competitive Solitaire                         4    2   1   1     6    7   −1     7
 6 Jeruselem                                     4    2   0   2    14   12   +2     6
 7 Sarzonia                                      4    2   0   2    13   13    0     6
 8 Simpralia                                     4    2   0   2     9    9    0     6
 9 Aimena                                        3    2   0   1     6    7   −1     6
10 Welzat                                        4    2   0   2     6    9   −3     6
11 Delaclava                                     4    1   0   3    10   15   −5     3
12 Great Lausitz                                 3    0   0   3     3    7   −4     0
13 South Charlia                                 4    0   0   4     3   10   −7     0

SCHEDULE:
MD 1: @ Delaclava^ W, 6-4
MD 2: v. Acronius L, 0-2
MD 3: @ Simpralia (Glory Park, capacity 122,000) W, 5-3
MD 4: v. Welzat L, 2-4
MD 5: @ Nephara (Farham Arena, Sabrefell, capacity 88,046)
MD 6: v. Great Lausitz
MD 7: @ Huayamarca (Estadio Olímpico del Oriente, Sechura, capacity 26,000)
MD 8: BYE
MD 9: v. Competitive Solitaire
MD 10: @ South Charlia
MD 11: v. Darmen
MD 12: @ Aimena
MD 13: v. Jeruselem
OFF DAY
MD 14: v. Delaclava (game played at Pride of Manchester, capacity 110,000)
MD 15: @ Acronius
MD 16: v. Simpalia
MD 17: @ Welzat (Sir James Tretol Memorial Stadium, capacity 19,595)
MD 18: v. Nephara
MD 19: @ Great Lausitz
MD 20: v. Huayramarca
MD 21: BYE
MD 22: @ Competitive Solitaire
MD 23: v. South Charlia
MD 24: @ Darmen (Stadio Rushmore, Johnho, capacity 70,000)
MD 25: v. Aimena
MD 26: @ Jeruselem (Dazza Dallas Stadium)

^Match was played at Dave Wilson Stadium in Woodstock.

Note: Except for the match in Manchester, Delaclava, all of Sarzonia's home matches will be played at Dave Wilson Stadium in Woodstock, capacity 105,900.

[Savojarna]

SAVOJARNA FOOTBALL INTERNATIONAL ✓

@SFFB_international

Check out this awesome video that our friends over at @FootballNerds_svj have done, featuring @MikiRangrenOff's tactics as #Northlights coach! #AllStandTogether #SVJADY

https://youtu.be/Wh6ifCRnwYI

[Darmen]

2:05pm, Thursday, October 25, 2046
Cayo Costa International Airport
Cayo Costa, Earo, Southern Esportivan Union

The small jet touched down on the runway, bouncing once or twice before all three sets of wheels decided that, yes, they did indeed wish to be on the ground. The plane made its way down the runway before turning onto the taxiway and eventually the airport’s apron. A cluster of men and women were gathered there to greet the important Darmeni delegation which had just arrived.

Nye Smythe stepped out of the plane; as he did, his face was smacked by a gust of warm Earon wind. He immediately regretted his decision to wear a suit; it would be soaked in sweat within minutes unless air conditioning was available nearby.

“Greetings, Sir. I hope you had a nice flight, where’s the rest of your delegation?”

“You must be Mr. West? Pleasure to be here. Unfortunately, I’m the only guy the Foreign Department could spare for the job. Please tell me there’s air conditioning in that terminal?” Smythe moved through the gaggle of greeters, without doing any greeting, advancing with hope that relief from the heat wasn’t far away.

“Um yes, yes there is,” replied Aston West, Chairman of the Southern Esportivan Union, as he turned to his associates, who were equally as confused as he was. He jogged a few steps to catch up with Smythe. “I’m sorry, it's just that with the situation being as important as it is, we expected a larger group.”

“Well, yes, I certainly don’t want my presence alone to appear as though the Republic of Darmen doesn’t care. We do. But a fact-finding mission isn’t really one you send a President on and, well, our Foreign Affairs Secretary is due in the next month...”

“Due for what, replacement?” asked West.

“No, she’s pregnant.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Anyways, the Deputy Secretary of Foreign Affairs for Esportivan Affairs is on vacation in Damukuni for the next two weeks and the process of appointing and affirming and accrediting an official Ambassador was considered too long. So I’ve been sent alone to get all the facts and figures and report them back to my President and his administration.”

“And, who exactly are you?”

“Smythe, Nye Smythe, Foreign Service Officer, Rushmori Affairs, Vatmark Division. Rather quiet area in the foreign affairs world, so I was the most senior officer that didn’t have any assignments. If it makes you feel any better, just think of me as Esportivan Affairs, Southwest Division.”

“Sure, will do,” said West, with a bit of hesitation as he shrugged at the aide standing next to him. “Well, Mr. Smythe, shall we get you to your quarters? We’ve secured the entire Leeward Resort, although it would appear we no longer need the entire thing, for your stay. Beautiful view of the ocean, protection from the wind, air conditioning...”

“Sounds perfect,” replied Smythe. The two men, plus a few of the more important SEU aides, climbed into an SUV, while the rest of the greeting committee, piled themselves into a second SUV. “So, tell me Mr. West, is it true you wish to be annexed?”

Straight to the big question and we haven't even made it to the hotel yet! thought West, before readying his answer.

[Banija]

Marcus Waters announces no squad changes after Matchday 4 as Kadongo Kamu set blistering pace atop Group 2


Banijan players celebrate a goal in 5-1 victory over Valentine Z in Matchday 4

DODOMA, BUNYORO- The Kadongo Kamu have started World Cup Qualifying at a blistering pace. It's not a pace that they can keep up for the entirety of World Cup Qualifying- it would simply be impossible to do what they have done across 24 matchdays. But one cannot ask much more of the Banijans after four matchdays. Of course, we're in Pot 1, and we're ranked 6th in the world. And, of course, there are a trio of goals for World Cup Qualifying, from the most basic to best case scenario. The first goal, of course, was the most basic- we need to get to the Finals. Just because we're ranked 6th, it doesn't mean we have some sort of birthright in the World Cup. The second goal, would naturally, to be to win this group. We've won a World Cup Qualifying group exactly one time in our history, and we look to add to that. The third goal, of course, is to do well enough to maintain our place in Pot 1 for the World Cup Finals. The top 6 teams, plus the 2 co-hosts, will be in Pot 1 for the Finals, and so Banija wants to stay in the Top 6. Or, rather, top 7, since Farfadillis is ranked second.

But the Banijans have absolutely come firing straight out of the gates. The pace has been pleasing to fans, encouraging to fans. They're playing with all sorts of confidence flowing through their veins, after the squad came together, following a disappointing performance at the AOCAFs, to win the Eagle's Cup. Even Marcus Waters said that. "The confidence that comes from winning an international tournament can be contagious. This is a great squad, a talented squad, a hungry squad- and now, they have the confidence of knowing they can go all the way against the best of the best. They've now had the ability to say they've done it before, and done it together. The pieces of this puzzle are fitting together nicely. Our youngsters made a deep run together and won the U18 World Cup, a couple of cycles back. Our youngsters recently won the U21 World Cup, this very cycle. And now, we've done so at the senior level. Everyone has tasted success- not at a true major tournament, like the AOCAFs or the World Cup, but tasted enough success, at strong enough tournaments, to have the confidence that dreams can come true."

Look at the performances of this side to start the tournament. The opening game of World Cup Qualifying was a trip to Zoloroni, the very same city where we clinched our first ever World Cup berth, to take on Mercedini. And while we couldn't take our opportunities in the first half, we buried the Golden Eagles in the second half, with Ilman Jawara converting twice from the spot, and Gitonga Kahara putting the exclamation point on the match to make it a 3-0 road victory against the group's Pot 2 side. And since then, this team has been on an absolute roll. Our home opener in Mynda? 3-0 victory for the Kadongo Kamu. Our next game, an away game in what could've been a tricky trip to Gopnikea? Another 3-0 victory. And now, a dominating 5-1 victory over Valentine Z here in Dodoma.

Of course, you can only play the games that you have played. But it is a great start to the tournament- 14 goals scored, 1 conceded, across the first four matches. All 12 points earned, all in dominating fashion. Waters has been impressed to the point where the promised squad changes after Matchday 4 have been called off. "International football is all about man management." The manager told reporters for local media after the Valentine Z. "Look at how well this team is playing right now- everything is going smoothly. We're hitting that next gear that we've always wanted to hit, and we're doing it consistently too. Match in, match out, we're playing strong and fearlessly, and most importantly, we aren't wasting our opportunities in front of goal. When the team is playing this well, it wouldn't make much sense to go ahead and make a bunch of changes to the squad."

"But don't worry." The manager said. "I've said that everybody in the player pool will get a chance to play, and that will still be true. After Matchday 8, we will get those much promised changes, to get more players the opportunity to put on the shirt, and earn their place in the squad. But right now? It doesn't make much sense to change things." And the manager is right. The next set of four games will prove to be challenging for the Banijans. Bunkaiia is in the mid-table, but they'd love nothing more than to revitalize their own World Cup Qualification chances by defeating the Banijans. It's a classic trap game- road game, against a team we've never played before, with a big home game looming on the horizon. Can't afford to look ahead to Hampton Island- the team's gotta be disciplined enough.

But that means Matchday 6 will be a huge on. Right now, there are two teams in this group that are unbeaten. Banijan, who is 4-0-0, and Hampton Island, who is 3-0-0. On Matchday 6, we'll play each other in the friendly confines of Mavuto Field. That is the big looming matchup for this team. Hampton Island is currently in second, and, of course, unbeaten. Their defense has been tight, only conceding once through three games. They are disciplined and organized in the back, with a bunch of veteran players who are eager to make the World Cup. They are playing with their eyes wide open, and will be fearless in Banija.

Matchday 8, then, looms large for the Banijans as well. The team in third place in the group right now? None other than Lisander. And they will come to the BCEL Stadium in Jinja City, to take on the Banijans. Their only loss, of course, is a tight, 1-0 loss to Hampton Island. The group, behind Banija, is absolutely wide open. Hampton Island, LIsander, Mercedini, and Hapilopper, at least right now, all have strong claims on the second World Cup spot. Any of them taking points from Banija would give them a massive advantage in that race for the Finals- as, of course, beating the Pot 1 side is easier said than done.

Those next two home games in this set of four will be extremely challenging. With visits to Bunkaiia and West Angola in there as well, this will not be an easy portion of the schedule. But the goal for the Banijans is to continue to build their lead atop Group 6, and play well enough to get to the World Cup. It makes this a key stretch. Can they continue to build their lead atop the group? Or will Lisander and Hampton Island start to tear away at them, and make this truly a dogfight? We'll find out over the next couple of weeks in World Cup Qualifying.

[Hampton Island]

Setting: Locker Room following 1-0 win over Lisander

Clyde Benner: Not bad for a bunch of old guys, huh?

Edwin Conney: It’s making me wonder why I retired eight years ago. We have a great team, and it shows!

Clyde Benner: I hear you, I wonder what would happen if I decided to come out of retirement. They would have to remove me from the Hall of Fame.

Roger Grant: Can you imagine making the amount of money these young bucks make these days when we were playing. I tell ya, they don’t realize what we all went through.

Edwin Conney: You are a legend, Roger. How many other sixty year old men have scored a goal in qualifiers?

Clyde Benner: Yes, and anything from nations that have eternal life or are from some other reality don’t count.

Roger Grant: It’s just an honor to be a part of this team. I have an endorsement deal coming up with Freestyle Mobility. I don’t want their products for a long time, but you know they want to see seniors being vibrant and full of life.

Edwin Conney: I feel so young in this room.

Clyde Benner: Because you are not yet fifty! Keep those goals out of the net, and you’ll be feeling twenty again.

(Manager Hannah Sanders enters room)

Sanders: Hello guys, I just want to see, like, great game today. You did a great job of sticking to the plan and getting this win. I am really proud of you.

Clyde Benner: So, do you believe in us yet, young lady?

Sanders: I was a doubter but remember, we have a ton of games left to be played, and basically the biggest questions about all of you are like, your endurance levels of staying fit and handling a long campaign so continue take part in the training regimen we have for you.

Edwin Conney: Yes ma’am.

Clyde Benner: Do you think I should come out of retirement, Heather?

Sanders: Hannah.

Clyde Benner: Right, sorry, Hannah. Do you think I should?

Sanders: Well I would like wait to make that decision and see how your body holds up as we play more games.

Roger Grant: Those cardio exercises do get a little annoying. My doctor says I am in great health, but I will keep doing it if you say so.

Sanders: Thank you, look you guys are like totally an inspiration for a lot of older people out there. I bet, like, there are even people in other countries that are your age and looking at you and thinking wow those guys are my age and are beating the younger players on other teams. But you have to keep it up, there is still a crazy amount of games to play, and how you all hold up is like the biggest concern about this team. I believe that you have the desire to do it. Great job so far but a lot more to be done!

[Xanneria]

(OOC: Roster taken from BoF 72 Roster - viewtopic.php?p=37043438#p37043438 )

This game dingled my dongle, while we mingled over Mongle
By Steve Stevenson

DOMINICA CITY - You know the midfielders of Xanneria, they don't get enough credit for their play. But Jox Alirome had a coming out party as he got his first international goal and assisted on the other two goals in the game. Alimore is a home grown hero for ISC Catalan City in the Catalina Island province. To give you context for that, let it be known that the Catalina Province is made up of several islands in the southwest of Xanneria. These Islands were home to the Catalan tribe, one of a handfull of small tribes that dotted Xanneria, a land whose mainland continent it was located on was uninhabited. Alirome did his duty as he got his goal on a Penelty kick from what is honestly a fairly mild tackle on the Moglechadbagd players part. The yellow card went out to Salk Fritz who at 22 is actually one of the veteran players on a young Mongle squad seemed a bit to eager to make his case with the referee and if you could see the bench with Loretta Walters shaking her head you would have a great TV moment. We know that Walters got redcarded for the involvement she had in arguing a call from with Baker Park referee Weston Hernandez.

Meanwhile super star Devonelle Laymore got into the act with a nice goal of his own that stunned the Mongle fans in the crowd! and sent cheer out from the very partisan crowd of 61,244. Laymore got a kick in at an angle that could not be touched by the goalie and frankly was centimeters away from bouncing the other direction off the goalpost. Laymore fist bumped Richard Presintino and was overall happy and estatic about the goal.

Meanwhile for the Mongle team they did get a goal as reserve Gerad Reus took a PK for the team as he had substituted for normal PK taker Karl Schneider earlier in the game. But any chance for a comeback was squandered when Eddy Peralta scored on a goal in the 77th minute and sealed the deal for the Maroons.

After the game coach Rhule put out the following statement about the game and upcoming opponent Lo Santo

That was the most consistent display of football we've had in all 5 games so far. I am pleased with the guys in todays game. BUt let it be known maybe Lo Santo is tougher than we thought. Vdara was seen as a darkhorse and Lo Santo kicked their ***. SO we have to be careful when facing them.

[Siovanija and Teusland]

Flashback: September 4th, 1958 - Borograd, Siovanija

The door to President Milan Dimitrov’s office at the National Chancellery building in Borograd was closed, but when Colonel Ivo Zak knocked on the door, the President's voice greeted him immediately.

"Yes, come in."

“Good afternoon, Mr. President.”

“Ivo, welcome to Borograd. And Lieutenant Rehak, it’s good to see you again as well.” The President stood to shake the hands of both men. “Please, sit down.” The two men, as gestured, took their places across from the President.

“Sir, I trust you’ve been able to analyze the report we delivered to your office,” said Colonel Zak.

President Dimitrov nodded. “Right here,” he said, as he placed the file on his desk. “Colonel, it’s a very good report. You’ve done an excellent job on this project, I must say.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“And of course, Lt. Rehak, you as well - you are one of the bravest men in our country, and we’re all proud of you.”

“It’s an honour, Mr. President.”

“Now, Colonel. There are some key points from the file I’d like to raise.” Milan Dimitrov was 79 years old, but he certainly didn’t feel it, and his mind still worked as it used to. He had studied every word in this report meticulously.

“Of course, sir. I have concerns as well, as I’ve noted in the conclusion.”

“I’m very aware, Ivo. Firstly, I’d like to discuss the report on the aftereffects of the bomb in the area. Two villages were built by the Army Engineers for the purposes of the study - A and B. A was located on the island of Sozopol itself, while B was located on the much smaller island of Tisnov, located 62km to the northeast.”

“That is correct, sir.”

“The report states that all buildings in both villages, made of wood and brick, were completely destroyed. In fact, there was no trace whatsoever of village A. 547km to the north of Sozopol, on the mainland in the coastal village of Kamen, it was reported that the roofs of several stone houses were blown off. As far away as the town of Pocatky, which is 723km to the north of the test site, there were reports of window panes breaking.”

“Yes, that’s correct, sir.”

The President paused. “The heat from the explosion was great enough to cause third-degree burns in a 100km radius from the explosion. The mushroom cloud itself peaked at 71km - more than 22 times the height of the tallest mountain in this country, Mount Kovarik. The fireball itself was greater than 8km wide, and could be viewed from distances up to 1000km.”

“That’s right.”

President Dimitrov continued. “Despite the fact that the bomb was detonated 4km above the surface, it produced magnitude the equivalent of a 5.25 magnitude earthquake.” He paused again for effect. “Let’s move on now to your conclusion.”

“Of course, Milan.” The Colonel and President were familiar enough with each other that they could drop the titles.

The President began again. “A bomb of this size, dropped from a V-51 bomber, has the capacity to wipe out any city in the United Republics in seconds. If dropped on Borograd, Stelburg or St. Jakob, it would cause the total destruction of an area with a radius of 35km. The aftereffects of such a bomb would be felt throughout the entire country. With a 100-megaton bomb, the devastation would naturally be even greater.”

Colonel Zak could only nod at this point as the President continued.

“Pre-flight estimates gave Lt. Rehak a 50% chance of surviving the mission. With a 100-megaton bomb, we estimate a pilot would have a 0% chance of survival.” The President now looked at the lieutenant, who had been sitting listening silently. The room quietly considered the idea.

The President now continued. “Furthermore, at this time, the delivery of such a weapon by missile is impossible. While future development of technology may allow us to equip a hypothetical Woden-2 or 3 missile with such a bomb, the cost in terms of resources would be immense. In addition, the fallout created from such an explosion would be unacceptably high in terms of pollution.”

“That is correct, Milan.”

“You conclude, Ivo, with this statement: This report argues that the production of a 100-megaton version of the Grosser Woden would be impractical, unnecessary, and quite frankly unethical. It also argues that further testing and production of the 50-megaton version is unnecessary.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I’m proud of your work, Ivo. And I agree with your conclusion.” The President and the two men in the room nodded at each other now. “Ivo, do you remember the night we took this building?”

“Of course, sir, it was the greatest honour of my career.” The President was referring to perhaps the biggest moment in the history of the United Republics’ democracy since unification. After the 1944 election, Dimitrov had been elected President. The former President, Marwin Laufer, had refused to leave office and declared the results illegitimate. On the eve of Dimitrov’s inauguration, several members of the military had declared themselves loyal to Laufer, and refused to grant the new President access to the building. The next morning, Dimitrov returned with a military unit loyal to the constitution, and a stand-off ensued. In the early evening hours, Dimitrov gave a rousing speech, urging the soldiers barricaded inside to remember their duty to their country, its people and its liberty, rather than to one would-be dictator. Many would indeed defect back or surrender, and without a single shot being fired, Dimitrov’s units entered the building. It marked the beginning of Dimitrov’s presidency which would bring about a new national unity after so many years of mistrust between the two sides. Ivo Zak, at that time a fresh-faced corporal, had been at Dimitrov’s side in the key moment.

“Ivo, think of what could’ve happened if Laufer had access to a weapon like this. Would you trust him not to use it? He would’ve wiped Borograd off the face of the earth before giving up his power if he’d had the choice. And that’s why we can’t have this weapon. Our people don’t need to live in fear. We are a successful country. We have no major enemies - the nuclear program is simply our ultimate form of defence. But this isn’t defence, Ivo - this is outrageous.”

“I agree, Milan. It is absolutely horrific to think about what would happen in a situation this bomb needed to be used. Or, Triglaf forbid, some sort of accident?”

The President again nodded, and looked back at the Colonel. “Colonel, what was the reaction in the high command to this report?”

“Sir, the majority of generals and marshals agreed with the findings. The SSWI were not as convinced, they’re confident that a missile is in development that could carry the bomb.”

“I’ll handle the SSWI. It’s not the missile, it’s the bomb itself. This is something I’m going to push hard. I’ve only got 2 years left as President, and if there’s anything to make my legacy out of, this is it.”

“Sir, when I flew into the Borograd airport this morning, they were putting up a sign that announced construction of Milan Dimitrov International Airport would begin soon. I think your legacy is secure.”

“And all of that will mean nothing if this country goes down the path of fear and builds bombs like this.” Everyone in the room nodded as the President paused. “I’m going to push for major changes to the way our nuclear capabilities are dealt with, and how, Triglaf forbid, they could be used. If I can achieve this, it’ll be the most important achievement of my presidency, because it will secure a peaceful future for our country.”

“We’ll be with you all the way, of course, Mr. President,” said Colonel Zak as Lieutenant Rehak also nodded. There was a bit of silence in the room now. The President again broke that silence.

“I should also mention, I hope you two aren’t leaving Borograd just yet. I just signed an order moments before you arrived promoting the Lieutenant to Captain, and awarding him the St. Gustav Cross for bravery. I’d love to invite the both of you to a state dinner tonight.”

The young captain was beaming now, as he replied to the President. “Of course, sir. It’s an honour, sir. Thank you, sir.”

The President smiled, as did the Colonel. “In addition, Captain, if you’d like a nice desk job at the Air Ministry or in any of the military headquarters, you let me know.”

“Thank you for the offer, sir, but I love being up in the sky. Flying gives me such freedom.”

“You know, I was the same way when I served in the air force. I still remember my first mission. I was in the back of an old Timishov-112 biplane, you’ve probably only seen those in textbooks or museums. It was the first one they ever made - the war saw a rapid development of tech like that. And we had to bomb Stelburg in the middle of the night, and of course, they had all the lights off, so you couldn’t even make out the Kaiser’s palace. I didn’t know until a few years after the war that bomber crews over Stelburg had about a 28% mortality rate in the final weeks of the air campaign.”

The Captain had listened intently to the story, and continued to joke with the President. With a grin, he said “Well, sir, with all due respect, 28% is nothing compared to 50%.”

President Dimitrov laughed as he stood up to leave the room, and put an arm around Captain Rehak’s shoulder. “I guess the only thing that’s changed since then is that now they tell you how likely you are to die before the mission, not after.”

The President enjoyed the dinner that evening, but already, his attention was elsewhere. He would need a meeting with the Chancellor, Igor Benes, as well as pay a visit to the State Strategic Weapons Institute in Chernovets. Things needed to change in Siovanija & Teusland.

Siovanija & Teusland 5-0 The Commuinist Republic of Chinatown, @ Ivo-Balikov-Arena, Vlaikograd

Starting XI: Heuser; Richter, Jager (Niedermayer 75’), Maksimov, Vesele; Mihailov, Kramer (Bahr 75’), Bliznakov; Segert, Tauscher (Gaspersie 60’), Ribbeck
Goals: Michael Ribbeck 22’, 81’, Thorsten Kramer 33’, Leopold Bliznakov 40’, Lukas Tauscher 46’
Man of the Match: Michael Ribbeck
Report: A big night for the Goldhorns in Vlaikograd as they set a new all-time record win, 5-0 the final against The Commuinist Republic of Chinatown. Chinatown provided an early scare when their forward managed a great shot that Ewald Heuser had to tip wide, but this one was never going to be anything other than a win for the home side, really. Michael Ribbeck fired the Goldhorns ahead 22 minutes in, a clean strike from just outside the area, and two more goals in the first half, one from Thorsten Kramer and a first-ever international goal for Vlaikograd hometown hero Leopold Bliznakov made it 3-0 after 45 minutes. Lukas Tauscher’s goal just 25 seconds into the second half added final insurance to the game, and Michael Ribbeck put icing on the cake with a tap-in off a corner in the 81st minute to secure the all-time record win. Next up for Siovanija & Teusland is a trip to visit When U Die, a strange name for a country no doubt, and they sit bottom of Group 10, but will surely provide a challenge the Goldhorns will have to be prepared for.

[Filindostan]

No Nonsense Sportswear office
San Marco, Filindostan

It's been a month since No Nonsense Sportswear (NNS) offices reopened to the public. Due to the lack of active storefronts where emerging sporting nations can lodge their kit, uniform, or jersey orders, Nicolas Samonte, the owner of the NNS brand, have re-emerged from the ashes and opened their online store for a while. They would entice their next set of customers by remastering the existing Filindostan national team kit. The Pula Garudas started to wear them since their debut Baptism of Fire tournament, which they won. They were able to fix a discoloration issue that caused the kits to be less presentable, and added a new template outsourced from a Hinodejin graphics designer, which they updated to fit the past shirt templates that they were then offering.

Filindostan was in a midst of a long usage of their national kits, having theirs unchanged since the 79th edition, but they would have also prepared to incur the wrath of the Filindostan Football Federation for doing this. The FFF was afraid that the remastering done by NNS would have made their procurement contract with the gold standard of kitmaking in the multiverse null and void, and they had to wait for another three editions for FFF to lodge a new procurement. Niki was prepared to have an out of court settlement if they were to be sued by the federation - but alas, their logo even appear in the match graphics the Federation posts on their Tiwiter and Twii.tur accounts:

It was within two days that they got their first order for the new kits, a representative for the TJUN-ia National Team. They were competing for their second World Cup qualifying campaign and were ranked 105th in the world. They were able to get what the customer wanted, and provided the final design and sample in just three days. Then the next customer ordered was considered a big one - Kandorith, having been a veteran of numerous World Cup qualifying campaigns and had qualified for the World Cup finals multiple times. It was a challenging request for Niki and his staff, but they were able to hit the sweet spot with the artistic freedom provided to them by the client. Mixing several important elements in Kandorese culture into a pattern watermark, a crow and Lotus leaves for the outfielder kits, and a pheasant and Sakura flowers for the goalie kit, certainly takes the cake for the design which probably impressed the Kandorese representatives once the details have been provided.

It took a while before the next set of orders came along. Group 15 co-participant Emastalia came with a request of their own, with the kits having the same design for both outfielder and goalkeeper kits. The staff were a bit challenged on how to balance the gradients in the kits, but once they got the amount of gradience needed to focus on the center of the entire kit, they proceeded to add several details their client needed - such as a peacock design at the lower right portion of both shirt and shorts, a rather peculiar but reasonable request. The kits were delivered in four days to the Emastalian representatives.

The next clients had at least a more detailed description of what they wanted NNS to show in their request, Maccian. With close collaboration to their representatives, the kitmakers were then able to adjust and make some tweaks as desired by the clients. At the end of the month, NNS were able to deliver four quality kits to four probably satisfied customers. Two more orders are pending to be processed in the next two weeks, but with the staff Niki have, the seemingly challenging process to stay relevant in the kitmaking business have been turned into an enjoyable one for them.

OOC Note: IC timelines are IC, I actually plan on completing the two latest orders by Friday evening at the earliest.

[Appalachian Nation]

Previous Story here - viewtopic.php?p=37143052#p37143052

Mr Smithy clicked enter, he had posted the RP thread and got some interesting results from the rosters. THere as Alan Belmore the only naturalized citizen in "a million simone di bradni clonez" that wasn't a clone of simone di brandi. He also happened to be the team manager. There was Ludwigistan whose mascot was a fart cloud named "Jeremy", and Western lands star stirker COwboy Pete, who insisted on wearing a ten gallon hat and would throw it at goalies to distract them. After reading through the rosters he clicked his scoring program and here were the first results!

Group 1
Lake of the Land 2–2 New Calder
Northern South 1–0 Old Northeast Dolphin

Group 1                                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Northern South                                   1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
2 Lake of the Land                                 1   0  1  0    2   2   0    1
  New Calder                                       1   0  1  0    2   2   0    1
4 Old Northeast Dolphin                            1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0

Group 2
Tennessee 1–1 Morgantown
Paris 0–3 Denmark

Group 2                                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Denmark                                          1   1  0  0    3   0  +3    3
2 Morgantown                                       1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
  Tennessee                                        1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
4 Paris                                            1   0  0  1    0   3  −3    0

Group 3
Astograff 1–1 Western Lands
Slavistan 8–0 Astrograff

Group 3                                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Slavistan                                        1   1  0  0    8   0  +8    3
2 Astograff                                        1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
  Western Lands                                    1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
4 Astrograff                                       1   0  0  1    0   8  −8    0

Group 4
Beta City 1–0 1337l4nd5
Zeb 0–1 Old York

Group 4                                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Beta City                                        1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
  Old York                                         1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
3 1337l4nd5                                        1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0
  Zeb                                              1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0

Group 5
Lextopia and Northwest Carlsbad 0–0 Peoples Republic of South Baldlands and Rye
Placid Waters 1–0 Punch Drunk Peeps

Group 5                                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Placid Waters                                    1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
2 Lextopia and Northwest Carlsbad                  1   0  1  0    0   0   0    1
  Peoples Republic of South Baldlands and Rye      1   0  1  0    0   0   0    1
4 Punch Drunk Peeps                                1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0

Group 6
The Union of Blood Sweat and Tears 1–2 a million simone di brandi clonez
Ludwigistan 0–2 Redditia

Group 6                                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Redditia                                         1   1  0  0    2   0  +2    3
2 a million simone di brandi clonez                1   1  0  0    2   1  +1    3
3 The Union of Blood Sweat and Tears               1   0  0  1    1   2  −1    0
4 Ludwigistan                                      1   0  0  1    0   2  −2    0

Group 7
Sportopia 3–0 shawland
Southwestern Province of Denalia 1–2 Morristania

Group 7                                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Sportopia                                        1   1  0  0    3   0  +3    3
2 Morristania                                      1   1  0  0    2   1  +1    3
3 Southwestern Province of Denalia                 1   0  0  1    1   2  −1    0
4 shawland                                         1   0  0  1    0   3  −3    0

Group 8
The Badlands 0–1 Mangolia
Federation of Federal Peoples 1–1 Pittsvylvania

Group 8                                        Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Mangolia                                         1   1  0  0    1   0  +1    3
2 Federation of Federal Peoples                    1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
  Pittsvylvania                                    1   0  1  0    1   1   0    1
4 The Badlands                                     1   0  0  1    0   1  −1    0

SOm intresting results Mr Smithy noted, he was concerned he might get looked at weird for his own nation being super dominant, but he had hope the scoring system was going to eventually recitfy that with a losss or draw, but who knew what was in store for the future, Mr Smithy was here for the present.

[Kandorith]

Shinonome Kyoai - International
News From The Empire

---

Shaken Kandorith Drops Points

*   Group 11                              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Equestria                               4    4   0   0    16    6  +10    12
 2 Xanneria                                4    4   0   0    14    8   +6    12
 3 HUElavia                                4    3   0   1    15   11   +4     9
 4 Kandorith                               4    1   2   1     6    6    0     5
   Nooooooooooooooo                        4    1   2   1     6    6    0     5
 6 Lo Santano                              3    1   1   1     5    4   +1     4
 7 Ancherion                               4    1   1   2    11   12   −1     4
 8 Fujai                                   3    1   1   1     3    8   −5     4
 9 South Concepthuania                     4    1   0   3     7   11   −4     3
   Vdara                                   4    1   0   3     9   13   −4     3
11 Blouman Empire                          3    0   2   1     4    5   −1     2
12 Monglechabagd                           3    0   2   1     4    6   −2     2
13 Jamestownnnn                            4    0   1   3     3    7   −4     1

Tenkyo, With the match against the rather unknown team of Nooooooooooooooo Kandorith had some hope after the tough match against Xanneria. Playing a highly rotated squad to rest the best starting eleven players Kandorith once again dropped the ball. Where on paper the match should have been an easy win for the Kandorese team, the Lotus Warriors just didn't finish the game off and the game went completely into disaster from there.

The team had most possession during the first half but towards the end of the first half Kandorith started to look weary and sloppy. More and more the team was losing possession because of simple errors and the half time whistle could not come soon enough when the team went 0 - 1 behind because of a pass back to goalkeeper Michinori Tamatsuki, which was basically a lob instead of where a normal pass would have been more than enough. Eventually Kandorith picked themselves up again in the second half it seemed and as the team rushed the opponent on the flanks, quick successive passes led to the goal by Takayama Nakajima who minutes ago replaced a tired looking Matsuda. Hayabusa had no good words to comment on the state of the team right now. Where he is normally controlled and friendly he dropped hash words towards the players. Next to criticising the players he also had some words for the coaching staff and even himself.

Unimpressed Hayabusa on the side of the field

"A disaster, yes you could say that about the match. Where we played great against Xanneria we absolutely failed to make an impact against a relatively easy opponent. All respect to them but their football is not something to write home about. We had multiple chances, did not take them which then lead to unnecessary possession loss. I don't want to punish the players too harshly or be too angry on them but this was a failure on every front. We need to do better. Our next match is against a high scoring real opponent, just like Xanneria. If we keep playing like this we might as well go home. At this point I am even thinking of putting a few players on reserve status and let them train individually instead of with the entire group. We are dropping skill left and right. I think it's unacceptable and the players should know this.

"I have spoken to some players after the match and told them honestly how I think about the performance we have shown out there. Of course it's not fun to hear but we need to set the record straight. Over 2 billion people are watching us play and I can not even imagine how disappointed they are right now. To lose at home versus Xanneria was a big blow already, manageable, but a big blow to us nonetheless. I have already disciplined a few of the players and we will return to our normal squad rotation as it was planned before the tournament began, because this is not working. To be completely honest; if your best won't do you need not to try at all. I expect way better results in the next fixture, if not I am at loss. Looking at the coaching staff there is room for improvement, we have hammered those little mistakes out but surely we can do even better. Honestly I am starting to think I am the problem here and I am starting to doubt my ability to manage the team too be honest. I am still hopeful we will improve and we can for sure. This team has all the technicalities and qualities to be a much better team than they already are, we just need to set our mentality straight."

The next game for Kandorith will be against HUElavia which will be an absolutely uphill battle for the team. HUElavia will be one of the highest ranked teams Kandorith has ever faced and the feelings among fans are mixed about the match. According to analysts and many fans the Kandorese team can definitely win, but they have to remain strong headed and pressure the opponent's defence constantly. Many have already pointed out the HUElavia defense is their weakest point and Kandorith having a very quick-paced midfield might be the key to controlling the game. It won't be the first time Kandorith takes the roll of the underdog, in previous campaigns being the underdog has made the team a force to be reckoned with as it is a position they are the most comfortable with.

[Flavovespia]

Langmere Green Rovers

The First Kit

78BU saw Langmere Green Rovers founded. Their first kit was an unusual shade of green, that seemingly wasn’t consistent for a while, based on old pictures, reports and kits that have survived to this day. An approximation is shown, with it believed to have been a sort of “lime green” colour, but slightly whiter. The shorts registered at the time were black, although it seems from pictures and reports of matches they were less fixed about those than other clubs at the time. This combination would be their colours for almost 2 decades, until the more familiar white and green was adopted.

Celebrated Classic

Their 18BU to 17BU kit is the one chosen by the friends. After a long period of wearing shirts that were either grey, silver or lime green, they returned to all white. This was the kit colour they wore from 60BU to the end of 37BU, at which point they joined the GWNFA Super League and had to adopt grey by requirement of the league. This kit was the revival of the all white, and the double green sash was considered a classic design by the fans. Topped off with the double green collar and trim, and this is still fondly remembered by many fans. Although Langmere Green Rovers only finished 10th twice in the GWNFA Super League in this kit, it is still a kit design that has received a few revivals over the years.

Modern Marvel

Langmere Green Rovers adopted this faded shirt pattern in 15AU, and it’s an example of a team who managed to pull off that look successfully. The subtle changes from white to off-white and light green to a darker-green on the panels work well, and the design looks subtle but sophisticated. They’ve not always got it right when going for a faded design, but this one did. That said, some fans are surprised by the fact this kit won, as at the time it wasn’t universally popular.

Colour of Success

27AU was when Langmere Green Rovers won their first ever title, classic or modern, so that’s the kit of selection. Unfortunately, it probably doesn’t win many prizes for good kit design. The lightning sash, although based on a classic design of course, doesn’t quite hit the mark. Add to that, the pale green sleeves seem an unnecessary edition, and makes the kit look a little messy and cluttered. Nevertheless it was a title winning kit, so someone’s going to do a revival on it one day. In some ways as well it was an unusual choice of kit, to take inspiration from an old kit, as it was the first season with a new badge. Furthermore the lightning concept doesn't hold any real symbolic significance for Langmere Green Rovers.

Fashion Disaster

It’s not that surprising that a non-white kit was selected by Langmere Green Rovers fans, as many of their fans don't like the eras where they didn't wear white as a home colour. It’s the 25BU effort that was considered the worst in the end. Officially it was described as “silver”, but many just called it grey was not well liked at all. Add to that the light and dark green pinstripes on the kit didn’t look good, often causing the kit to look discoloured from a distance, which was an issue on older TV's of the time. To add insult to injury, stripes would grow to be more commonly associated with rivals Loxthorpe Rovers, adding another layer of dislike to this kit.

[Newmanistan]

THE ROCKET REPORT

SKY BLUE NATIONS FIT TO BE TIED, AGAIN

by Brianne Henry,

The nations of Newmanistan and Krytenia have one major thing in common, and that is the national pride that comes from sky blue, or cyan. Both nations have a long history in international sports, with that of the Krytenians being even longer then our own. For Krytenia, most of that sporting history comes in the sport of soccer. Like us, they have never won a World Cup while boasting one regional soccer championship to their credit. As much as we take pride in the Campionato Esportiva, that AOCAF crown has more prestige to it. That’s about it with titles that they have won, as they do not sport titles in the Baptism of Fire or the Cup of Harmony. They’ve hosted the Olympics on multiple occasions and are widely respected for being a great host throughout the sporting world. That is a sentiment that is certainly shared within Newmanistan.

It is not often that the two teams go at one another head to head, although they did contest the “Cyan Cup” decades ago, a traditional friendly with a little something extra at stake. That tradition has not been restored, though perhaps with both nations now seeming to be fully active in the soccer world once again, it is something that will resurface. The head to head matchups between one another with a lot at stake: each team is looking to find a way to past either Vilita or Qasden to get into the top two and find their way to the World Cup Proper. This meant that the head to head match between the sides would be critical as the nation’s look to establish themselves as the bigger threat to the top two spots. After three games, neither Newmanistan nor Krytenia were in a spot on the table that would make their task easy. The Dragons had their bye day already, were sitting on a 0-0-2 record in their first two games. The Rockets were 1-1-1. The sources of their frustrations are similar: both Krytenia and Newmanistan were defeated by Qasden already, something that will not go over well if these teams want to qualify for the World Cup. Newmanistan drew with Omerica, a team that defeated Krytenia in a shocking 5-1 result. It’s not a start that either of these teams were hoping for, but it is what they will each need to overcome.

The 1-1 draw that we saw the Rockets and Dragons play to is not something that is going to help the cause, either. Krytenia is now 0-1-2, and looking up at everyone within Group 14. That will definitely change, as they are too good to be down there for long. Newmanistan is 1-2-1, with the beginning of their play looking like how they began in the Campionato Esportiva: drawing and not winning. Eventually, Newmanistan started winning, and when they get back from their bye day, they must take care of business against Oberour Ar Moro in Jessicaville. They will have no excuse not too, quite frankly.

The match itself was a well played one by each side, but seemed a little slow to get going early on. The sides were very conservative in trying to establish a positional advantage over the other, and neither were giving in. This led to a lot of midfield play with not many chances. Around the thirty minute mark of the game, the Rockets were able to get some sustained pressure on the Dragons but had some trouble penetrating the Krytenia defense. Because of that Brent Chapman, known for pinpoint accuracy took a chance on a shot from a distance, and for that moment the fans in Emberton saw what all the fuss is about when we talk about him being a sharpshooter. Unfortunately, Newmanistan was not able to add to the lead, and in an evenly played second half, Rafa Mendonca got the equalizer in the 69th minute. At this point now, a trend will begin for a while with Newmanistan taking on the same opponent the matchday after Krytenia plays them. Not sure what that means exactly, but scouting tape over the next few weeks will see a lot of Krytenia’s efforts against these opponents.

When they meet in Newmanistan, it will come on Matchday 17 in Southport, and both teams fully hope to be much closer to the top of the table then where they are right now. It will also represent a chance for Newmanistan to lay a claim on the Cyan Cup!

OOC: O’Bryan is a good choice for captain. Evidently I didn’t name a new one!

[West Pocono]

REALITY CHECK

After starting qualifying with a 2-1-0 record, some fans in West Pocono were probably getting a little too excited. Yes, the team played well and even got a point against South Covello, but eventually teams were going to know how to play us. That would mean no more sneaking up on people, therefore meaning that we’d probably start having less success. This could not have been any more apparent then in Main Nation Ministry, as the red and black of the opponents were able to find ways to penetrate our defense that the first three nations were not able to. In took just eleven minutes for the first goal to be conceded against us at any point in qualifying; scored by Lysandros Davor; and then five minutes later Davor was celebrating again. West Pocono was now in a situation like they had not experienced before, and now, they were down by two.

You’re not going to win a game or even get a point if you remain defense while you are trailing by two goals, and adjustments were made on the fly to try and get more offense going in the first half, but it just was not working out. You cannot all of the sudden become a different team so quickly then you have been for so long. The Poconi were fortunate not to allow a third goal during this time, and went to the intermission still down by two. To their credit, the Thunder looked pretty good in the second half trying to generate offense, as whatever schemes Nathan Ruddy had were effective in making the team look more competent as an offensive unit. Shot selection and accuracy could have been better, but in the 61st minute, they pulled one back on a well place shot from Chris Pratt. After the goal, the team held off some Main Nation Ministry rushes, and had a great chance in the 77th to pick up an equalizer, but a Damian Golden shot was just inches away from the right post. Had it been placed correctly, the goalkeeper, Sigibert Era, was slow to react and likely not have gotten to it. This would represent the final opportunity for the Thunder to draw level, and in the 87th minute, Muhammad Theophil erased all doubt with the third goal for the home side.

All in all, not really a bad game played by the Thunder, but they were outclassed here. Hopefully, that does not start a trend for this underdog that was not expected to do much of anything. They can rebound for this, but they can’t forget what got them to this point. It must be defense first and foremost, all game long.

[Mercedini]

85th World Cup Qualification MD4 Review
Sankt Konrad vs. Mercedini
@ Albmotsstadion - Wilhelmstadt, Sankt Konrad

Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welocome back to the World Cup circuit and Mercedini's coverage of it. We have returned with another look at the progress of the Mercedinian National Team, as they attempt to get back to the promised land of the World Cup. We are in the small but charming city of Wilhelmstadt in Sankt Konrad as Mercedini play their fourth match of their campign, aiming for a win here today after their 2-2 draw at home to Balqia. The group is taking shape nicely with two teams still holding on to their 100% record, Banija is currently top of the pile with 9 points out of 9. It seems like an easy win on paper for Mercedini, but we all know it's never as easy as it seems with so many variables. Let's go down to the 2,250-capacity venue, known locally as the Albmotssadion, and see how the Golden Eagles will fare.

World Cup Qualification: An Away Fortress?

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FULL TIME

WCQ | MD4

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SANKT KONRAD 2
Lavo 58', Hosch 70'
MERCEDINI 5
Chillotov 12', 45+3' Karlovic 17', Garzallo 79', Talisky 89'

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Wilhelmstadt, Sankt Konrad
Attendance - 2,236

A capacity crowd of 2,236 were in attendance to witness Mercedini's first comfortable game of the season, with the Golden Eagles putting themselves within touching distance of the top two before their bye-day tomorrow. Chillotov with a brace, and Talisky's first goal of the campaign we're all highlights of an entertaining 5-2 affair inside the small but encompassing stadium. The win lifts Dini into fifth place with two wins and a draw from four games, and have finally managed to crawl back to a positive goal difference to give them the best chance of any tiebreaker further down the line. The odds are increasing for their qualification, but it's still a far cry from their pre-qualifying odds where they came in as second favourites.

Some positives are slowly emerging from the team as they begin to gel as a cohesive side. Some of the youngsters are getting to grips of international football, including the highs and lows that they bring. Several of the new arrivals have asserted themselves on the game, introducing their own flair into a traditionally Mercedinian style of football. Adrian Talisky is one of the brightest shiners in the squad, previously lighting up the U18 World Cup before moving on to the senior team and continuing where he left off. Chances for the Blue Strike player will likely be few and far between given the stacked attacking roster he has been placed in. Although if he can take his chances whe they are presented, he could see himself involved a lot more.

Interestingly enough, both of Mercedini's wins and six out of seven points have been found away from home, with wins against Hapilopper and now Sankt Konrad making up most of the Mercedinian tally. Mercedini's regular home advantage has been degraded away with the current restrictions placed by national and municipal governments, a loss against Banija and a draw against Balqia mean the Golden Eagles are winless in their own back yard. It's something that must be improved if Dini are to make their way back to the Finals.

Following their win, the Golden Eagles will now lose ground on those they are chasing as they take their days break before returning to action against Floyssauu on match-day six. That days rest could be a blessing for the squad as they reset themselves and prepare themselves what could be a fruitful second quarter for the men in blue and black. They will playing all of their matches against significantly lower ranked sides, after already playing the teams from Pot 1 and 3 earlier on in their campaign. Across the rest of the groups, it seems as if normality has resumed to the qualification phase as big struggling teams are few and far between. Possible the biggest surprise has been defending Cup of Harmony champions Pasarga going down to Baptism of Fire champions Mavinet on the first match day. However, further analysis can be given once the first half has been concluded, giving everyone a chance to analyse their own progress against the rest of the group, now everyone has played everyone.

We will enjoy our day off from the action, we will be back in two days time for another Mercedinian match review, but for now, stay safe.

[Port Ember]

Port Emberian Times

The Road to World Cup 85 Edition

MATCHDAY 4 MATCH REPORT

Tequilio 1 - 1 Port Ember

The Port Emberian National Football Team, nicknamed the Dragons squandered yet another opportunity, drawing against an opponent which was seen as a 'easy win match' by analysts during Match Day 4 of the World Cup 85 Qualification Season against Tequillio.

This match was the first encounter between these two teams in history, and took place within the Estadio Pablo Escobar, situated within the city of Tapalupé within the nation of Tequilio.

The Match

The derby kicked off with tremendous pace, the Tequilo squad launching an early surprise attack against the Dragons, catching them still asleep as they burst through downfield, striking towards the left flank, slipping through the gaps. This quick burst of pace overwhelmed the defence and led to Tlacolotl scoring for his side in minute 6. The home crowd went berserk- attempting to tear their old stadium to the ground.

The Port Emberians did not take this early conceding goal laying down as they launched a massive offensive of their own once kick off restarted. Brilliant chemistry between Captain Reddington and star striker Nicovic led them to snap the backline, ending with Nicovic slotting the ball home in minute 12.

Unfortunately the explosive first 12 minutes of the game was not an indicator of things to come - as the game immediately slowed in pace and excitement. For the remainder of the match the Port Emberians managed to maintain majority of possession (62%) and launched constant attacks, attempting to break through a very determined defensive effort - to no avail. The game started getting more physical as the attacks increased, with Tequilio player Isidor Artechevarria earning himself a total of two yellow cards and a subsequent one match ban for physical play.

The game eventually ending after a long period of bland play, much to the agitation of the fans.

Player Scores For The Match:

(GK)(#1) Peter Smith: 6/10
(CB)(#2) Josh Richards: 6/10
(CB)(#3) Jason Lee: 6/10
(LB)(#4)Alex Kuhn: 7/10
(RB)(#5)Russel Pierce: 6/10
(AM)(#10): Ray Reddington: 7/10
(DM)(#6): Steven Packard: 6/10
(LM)(#8): Jason Chamberlain: 6/10
(RM)(#11): Eric Tosaír of the Tribe of Waterford: 7/10
(CF)(#7) Leon Moult: 7/10
(CF)(#9)Danny Nicovic: 8/10

Substitutes:

(CF)(#22)Steven Packard: 5/10

Match Stats
Match: Port Ember Vs Tequilo
Location: Tequilio
Result: 1 - 1 Draw
Goals - Port Ember: Danny Nicovic
Goals - Tequilo: Tlacolotl
Man of the Match - Port Ember: Danny Nicovic

Aftermatch word from the Coach

"I will not lie, I am extremely frustrated with our teams performance today. Granted our opponents played a brilliant defence, so well done on that! But we are normally better on offense than this. I know it, the players knows it and our fans knows it." Coach Stuart Baxter

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Article by Erica Davies
Port Ember Times

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Port Emberian Times

The Road to World Cup 85 Edition

MATCHDAY 5 WIND UP

Match Day 5: Port Ember vs Quakmybush

It's the fifth match for our national team as part of the World Cup 85 Qualifiers, Group 8.

Location: The match is to be played at the Lilly Black Memorial Stadium, situated within the Lilly Black Borough of the capital city of Port Ember Megalopolis; Republic of Port Ember. This will be the first encounter between these two teams and is predicted to be in front of a fully packed stadium - nicknamed "The Dragon's Lair".

Team Breakdown: Port Ember

- International Ranking: 40.
- Current Standing in Group 8: 3
- Momentum: W,L,W,D
- Formation: 4-4-2
- Playstyle High Octane Offensive Play
- Kit to be used for next match: Main Kit (White & Blue)

What can be said about the Dragons which was not allready said before? Our team is young, hungry and talented. They have tasted qualification during the previous cycle, and have just tasted bronze during the IAC9. They will be looking to steamroll from early on in this competition to build momentum. The first match day win was a good start, although they performed quite terrible and picked up a loss as result during Match Day 2. During Match Day 3 however, they smashed their opponents 6-1. Again, during Match Day 4 they drew 1-1. Although the team looks impressive at times, they seem to be struggling with maintaining consistency.

Starting XI
- Goalkeeper (GK)(#1): Peter Smith.
- Center Back (CB)(#2): Josh Richards.
- Center Back (CB)(#3): Jason Lee.
- Full Back (LB)(#4): Alex Kuhn.
- Full Back (RB)(#5): Russel Pierce.
- Attacking Midfield (AM)(#10): Ray Reddington. (C)
- Defensive Midfield (DM)(#6): Steven Packard.
- Wide Midfield (LM)(#8): Jason Chamberlain.
- Wide Midfield (RM)(#11): Eric Tosaír of the Tribe of Waterford
- Central Forward (CF)(#7): Leon Moult.
- Central Forward (CF)(#9): Danny Nicovic.

Team Breakdown: Quakmybush

- International Ranking: 102
- Current Standing in Group 8: 5
- Momentum: Bye;W;W;L
- Formation: Unknown
- Playstyle Completely Balanced Gameplay (Equal focus on Offense/Defense)

The Frozen North of Quakmybush National Football Team is a quite interesting bunch. They have partook in a number of international Qualifiers, and to this day they have managed to keep the identities and any details of their entire team and Association a secret to the outside world. This qualification season this nameless, faceless team has been performing well. They have had a Bye Match during Match Day 1, thereafter they started off their campaign during Match Day 2 with a bang - smashing Petroslovania with a final score of 6-2. Their second match in Match Day 3 led to another victory when the defeated the national team of Atheist Democratic Freehold 2-1. Their last match during Match Day 4 led to their first narrow defeat against heavyweights Ko-oren.

No starting roster has been made available.

An Analyst's Input - How do we win this one?!?

"There is not much to it actually. We maintain the advantage in areas such as fitness, talent, tactics and skill. Beating them, on paper at least, is a no brainers. Same old retort - stick to the basics and remain focused. However it seems that our teams performance lately is more unstable than a child on crack. I honestly dont know what to expect anymore." - Gerhard Black, Football Analyst and Journalist for Port Ember Times.

With that all said - I personally wish our lads the best of luck for the upcoming match - Make us Proud!!!

Article By Erica Davies
Port Ember Times

[Zwangzug]

"Playing host to The Babbage Islands Bees here in Fulpog--"

"Baker Park."

"What?"

"Baker Park, they're also called the Bees because they wear black and yellow, but a completely different team."

"Oh."

"It says here, uh, black and...gold, technically, two of the colors on their flag."

"It was voted 'most garish display of constellations' by a panel of vexillographers, while Krytenia, Sarzonia, and Cosumar received high marks for their displays of national pride."

"They all sear my eyeballs, Floyd, these headaches are a killer."

"Can I recommend the flag of Farfadillis? Does wonders for me."

"Speaking of the Outlandish Lands, Baker Park led by Ichi Tuzzio and Friekder Dandalleion, who were exiled from their ravaged homelands due to not having enough diacritics in their names."

"No they weren't, Stefan...

"...Patton up front claims to have three more years in her, despite already being thirty-two."

"That is astonishing! Nations that have the organizational chops to manage timelines and aging really do impress me."

"Setting a low bar there, Floyd."

"And a low bar is also, uh, what Zwangzug have to thank as Patton's shot goes just high, but no! Deflected to the feet of Simmons, who dodges a flailing Daunten, and it's in. One-nil to the visitors..."

"...Lorenzo Taborn would likely be considered the star of almost any other national team."

"Well, I think that's a bit presumptive, Floyd."

"It really isn't, when you consider that the Commonwealth is the eleventh-best national side overall, it stands to reason that they're going to have more talented players than almost any other country. I mean, there are a hundred and ninety-seven teams in this tournament, most of them not up to the Bees' standard."

"Well, I mean, once you start imagining counterfactuals about a fellow's nationality, you're opening the door to a whole mess of possibilities. I mean, what if he had acquired Darmeni citizenship? What if he was born in one of the myriads of nations that don't compete in global sports? What if his country went gray-and-white?"

"All it's saying is that he's an exceptionally talented player, Stefan."

"Well why don't they just--ooh, he's passed up Sibal, looks to pass, no, he'll take it himself! Two-nil to the visitors..."

"...four matches into these qualifiers, there's a good chance Briggs is on the cusp of tying his nation's cap record. Sixty-four starts, quite an achievement."

"I'll just interrupt you there, Floyd, because Idmar has a speculative--no, never mind. Banach attemps to recover, but she's quickly dispossesed by Hayes. Not a great showing from the Keppal midfielder, you wonder if her dietary supplements have underachieved this tournament."

"Maybe she should try some of the Mavinet cuisine, I hear her eponymous theorem is in high regard over there."

"I don't think she's the one it's named after, Floyd. As...Bozeman in possession, still Bozeman, leaves it off for Patton, and Patton blasts it into the high corner. Three-nil to Tuzzio's side..."

"...Bozeman will likely require his own page in the record books."

"Well, that depends on the font size, doesn't it?"

"I think it's a metaphor, Stefan."

"I mean, who knows, if and when someone passes him up he might get relegated to a paragraph."

"I don't think that's what they mean--"

"Digital formats are useful for archiving this kind of dynamic material, but prone to instability, we've all seen the pros and cons of the wiki formats--"

"Bozeman dribbling neatly around Twoni and Friede, by the way."

"--now more adventuresome journalists experimenting with video montages, but those sorts of tributes often reserved for nations no longer on the maps."

"If this is what you call typical and mundane, Stefan, I don't think we want to see your adventuresome journalism."

"Aaaand Bozeman breaks his own record, again, with another goal for Baker Park. Four-nil, and the Fulpog fans not really enjoying it, you can see the karelan purists from Taeshan displeased."

"We have Taeshan karelans watching our matches?"

"It's a big stadium, Floyd, you never know..."

"...Any positives that can be gained from that match?"

"Well, uh, we all learned a bit about The Babbage Islands and how they're not this country."

"I mean in terms of Zwangzug's performance?"

"Well, the players are all, uh, alive and uninjured, and not in jail or in rehabilitation facilities, nor are they creating political controversy or being cussed at by their manager. I mean Stefred might be cussing someone out, but that's only to be expected. It can always be worse."

"So you're saying they were rubbish."

"I think you'll find it's you who asked the question, don't go looking for silver linings if you don't want to be told it's overcast out."

"Right. Baker Park four, Zwangzug nil, and we'll see you next time in Sharktail."

[Eastfield Lodge]

Mount Salt City
During the Sylestone vs Eastfield Lodge match

It can be pretty frustrating as a die-hard fan, sitting at home and watching your national team play on TV instead of being at the stadium. Imagine then, how frustrating it would be if you weren’t a fan, but rather the national team’s captain. And if the reason that you were on the sofa watching television instead of on the pitch, leading the side, albeit optimistically, to a World Cup qualification, was entirely down to your own stupidity in a previous match.

That was the situation facing Tajo Carr-Ponce, the Olympia FC defender at his home in Mount Salt City. Normally, he’d be the first name on the team sheet, in the heart of the back three as the captain of the team. And if it weren’t an international weekend, he’d be on the pitch at Olympic Park, or wherever the Olympia team were playing. But his international contract meant he was discharged from domestic duties for the duration of these two matches and the training sessions, regardless of circumstance. So, no training or taking part in the domestic matches, here he was at home, the Olympia match having already run it course with a simple home win for his side. The match hadn’t started yet, both sides still in the tunnel - Tajo’s colleagues on the right, and the sentient furniture and objects representing Sylestone on the left. Certainly one of the weirder sets of opposition players he’d ever seen.

He went into the kitchen to fetch a fizzy drink, gripping the bottle ever so tightly as he sat back down with an audible sigh. His thoughts strayed back to the previous match against the bizarrely named “The Appraisal To The Allmighty MR TAYTO”. They didn’t know much about their opponents, so it was a bit of a blind shot in the dark, but the first half at the Tavernia Stadium was anything but difficult. Two goals from Nya, both well taken one-touch efforts in the box thanks to excellent build-up play, meant that the Eastfielders were in control, cruising to a first win in qualifying after a draw and a loss to admittedly difficult opposition in the opening pair of matches. But this was football, and anything could happen, as Jane reminded everyone in the changing room over the break - Tajo himself was stressing that point out on the pitch. Jewell made it 3-0 around the hour mark, and that looked to be that.

Almost nobody in the stadium expected the visitors to break off a corner, the TAYTO striker picking up the cleared ball and immediately sprinting down the wing. Tajo was running back to make ground in the centre with Eskama hot on the heels of the striker. She was brushed off, and Tajo, seeing that no other opposition player was near enough to cause trouble, adjusted course, attempting to intercept the striker’s run into the box. The two got closer, and closer, but everything sort of went blurry for Tajo at that point - the striker was a step too quick for him, not too far for his tackle to miss entirely. The striker was scythed down, and Tajo stayed down on the ground with the groans of the crowd ringing in his ears - even the most ardent of fans would admit that he messed up, taking out the man from behind in the box as the last defender.

Even before the ref had caught up with him, he’d gotten up and taken off his armband, and was well on his way to the changing room as the ref showed him the red. It was a stupid decision, a reckless mistake that cost his team the three-goal lead and left them a man down. A nervy 20 minutes followed after the striker converted the penalty, and a free kick with 5 minutes to spare made the tension even worse. Tajo was lucky however - the match ended 3-2 to the hosts, and he could breathe a sigh of relief in the changing room. He didn’t stick around long - he was already packed up and ready to leave, only stopping to apologise to Jane and the team on the way out of the stadium. The suspension stuck, as expected, and he hadn’t even gotten home when the news reached him - it was a quick decision by the WCC. 3 matches on the sidelines, not good news.

About an hour later, Tajo had had enough, reaching for the remote and changing the channel. The team just weren’t at the races today - the Tumble Dryer had scored two goals by carrying the ball into the net in its drum, and the visitors were reluctant to get close to a bunch of objects weighing over 70 kilograms that moved about by jumping. And the brick wall at the other end was both metaphorical and literal - the Brick Wall was blocking each and every shot just by standing in the goal and shuffling left or right as needed; evidently this wall wasn’t built for a football goal, as its dimensions were well off, but it was enough. The Washing Machine and Dishwasher in defence were just spewing water everywhere, making everything incredibly slippery and boggy in the Sylestone half, meaning the Eastfielders couldn’t build up a single effective attack, and somehow the ref decided that the pitch was still playable enough to continue on. And then there was the very flexible Ironing Board, opening and shutting its legs at the most inopportune times as a means of defence. All of this meant that the 10th seeds Sylestone were beating the fourth seeds 2-0 with only 30 minutes to play.

Only two more games of this nightmare, Tajo thought to himself. Two more games before he could go back out and actually contribute once again.

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MD1: Eastfield Lodge 2-2 Freeport
Line-up (3-3-3-1): Persson - Hargreaves, Carr-Ponce, Holding - French (<> Elbaz 72’), Din (<> Stepanov 81’), Salam - Accardi, Farrow, Berretti (<> Harry 68’) - Murray
Goals (Assists): Murray (11’ - Accardi), Farrow (85’ <> Hargeaves)

MD2: Main Nation Ministry 2-0 Eastfield Lodge
Line-up (3-3-3-1): Persson - Hargreaves (<> Whitfield 78’), Carr-Ponce, Holding - French, Jeremiah-Dockson, Salam - Accardi (<> Foley 65’), Farrow, Harry - Murray (<> Stepan 73’)
Goals (Assists): N/A

MD3: Eastfield Lodge 3-2 The Appraisal To The Allmighty MR TAYTO
Line-up (3-3-3-1): Persson - Hargreaves, Carr-Ponce, Holding - Nagi, Qwivotic, Salam (<> Dad 78’) - Foley, Farrow (<> von Kraus 72’), Berretti (<> Harry 67’) - Murray
Goals (Assists): Murray (9’ - Farrow, 35’), Foley (58’ - Murray)

MD4: Sylestone 2-1 Eastfield Lodge
Line-up (3-3-3-1): Persson - Hargreaves, Whitfield, Holding - French (<> Elbaz 73’), Qwivotic, Salam - Foley, Farrow (<> Stepanov 80’), Berretti - Murray (<> Stepan 67’)
Goals (Assists): Stepan (76’ - Qwivotic)

Line-up to play Taeshan (3-3-3-1)
Couch - Hargreaves, Mackenzie, Holding - Nagi, Jeremiah-Dockson, Dad - Accardi, Stepanov, Harry - Stepan
Tajo Carr-Ponce suspended until MD7 (vs Maccian); Charmine Berretti and Ulima Salam both injured until MD6 (vs North Quadana)

[South Newlandia]

ELEPHANT VALLEY MAIL
Sports -> Soccer
South Newlandia wins in Ottoman Syldavia

When the Elephants arrived in Ottoman Syldavia, the pot 12 team of group 13, they didn’t know what to expect for multiple reasons. First of all, the underdog had won all of their first three games, including a game against the BoF-Champions. Before that, they had a bad time at the Baptism of Fire themselves, getting eliminated in the group stage. Additionally, while South Newlandian officials received information about their opponents’ players and staff, the information in itself was confusing and didn’t answer all the questions the South Newlandians had. Still, the Elephants were confident they could break their enemy’s win streak.

Ottoman Syldavia 0-1 South Newlandia

The Elephants played confident in the first half and took control of the game early. After 17 minutes, they also had a first big chance when Finnley Wallis dribbled the ball to midfield, passing to Brandon Irving. The latter got a solid shot in, but it went just wide, missing the goal.
The defences of both sides did a good job at shutting their opposing offenses down, and neither team was able to gain a lot of chances. Even though South Newlandia was leading all relevant statistics, they had a lot of trouble breaking through. Because of this, the first half lacked a lot of chances for goals.

There was another good chance in the 33rd minute. This time, it was Corban Green who broke through the left side. He got a good flank in, but Finnley Wallis couldn’t quite control the ball.

The Ottoman Syldavian offense had been surprisingly quiet in the first half. It took them until the 43rd minute to get a reasonable chance in, and even then, Jared Kubos’ shot missed Mikhail Trischuk’s goal by quite a bit.

It was half-time with no goals scored. Coach Robert Wolverine was clearly unhappy, and he decided to make a change to his squad, replacing Patrick McMora with Jarod Stuart.

The second half started with more of the first one, as the Elephants continued to struggle at creating chances. They had one after a corner in the 64th minute, but Simon McCabe’s header went right into the arms of Louis Timothie, the Ottoman Syldavian goalkeeper.

It took until the 72nd minute for action to happen. Simon McCabe had the ball in the penalty box, and Ottoman Syldavian defender Tuva Talo tried to tackle him. He came way too late on the tackle, and hit McCabe's ankle instead. After this, chaos ensued. The referee tried his best to keep everything under control, but between the Ottoman Syldavian fans and players protesting, he had trouble to calm things down. Eventually, after approximately 2 or 3 minutes, things were back under control. Talo received a yellow card, and the Elephants received a penalty kick. They seemed unsure who would take it, as McCabe, the regular penalty taker, was injured and no longer on the pitch. Eventually, Brandon Irving decided to step up. The 20-year-old had never shot a penalty kick before. He managed to stay calm under the pressure, sending Timothie into the wrong corner to give the Elephants a 1-0 lead. Knowing this, Wolverine brought defender Karl Meyer onto the pitch in the 75th minute, replacing the injured McCabe. South Newlandia was now running a 5-4-1 formation, and it was Ottoman Syladavia’s turn to try for a goal.

South Newlandias 5-man defense stood solid, and the Elephants even had another good chance on a counter-attack. After a long clearance by Raphael Moreno, Brandon Irving almost scored a second goal, but his shot was well captured by Timothie.

The Elephants ended up winning the game with just one goal scored, and remain in the upper half of the standings. The tournament has been going quite well for them so far, and they probably hope for more of the same against against Plane of Possibility. South Newlandia finally got their defensive problems under control, but gained problems in the offense, both with problems to create chances and with the injury of Simon McCabe. We don’t know how bad his injury is yet, but he will most likely be missing against Plane of Possibility. This causes some problems for the Elephants, as now 2 of their 4 strikers are injured, leaving them with few options.

Player Rankings

Mikhail Trischuk (GK, Captain) 8
He didn’t have a lot of work, but his clean sheet was probably a relieve for him after 8 conceded goals in three games.

Marcos Pit (LB) 9
He did very well as Left Back, and Dhruv Roy might lose his start here.

Manuel O’Neill (LCB) 8

Tommy Anderson (RCB) 8

Raphael Moreno (RB) 8
Robert Wolverine seems to have been right on giving him another chance.

Kevin Mohamed (DM) 8

Corban Green (LM) 7

Patrick McMora (RM) 7

Finnley Wallis (OM) 7

Brandon Irving (ST) 8
Apart from the goal, he played an average game.

Simon McCabe (ST) 7
His injury will definitely weaken the South Newlandian attack.

Jarod Stuart (RM) 7

Karl Meyer (CB) 8

Starters against Plane of Possibility

As usual after wins, not a lot of changes will be made before the next game. The injured McCabe will not be playing; he is being replaced by Ricardo Rayner. Abdurahman Bishop also gets another start in favour of Finnley Wallis; otherwise, the squad remains the same.

Results from Matchday 4, Group 13

Eraman (63) 3-0 Tamgu (79)
Tamgu remains without a single point.

Plane of Possibility (148) 3-4 Mavinet (218)
The BoF-Champions bounce back while the Planers continue to struggle.

Valanora (15) 5-3 Pangurstan (311)
The 1st seed is still on 100%.

Bliuji (99) 5-0 Kuriko (330)
Kuriko is having a horrible time, and Bliuji will take advantage of that.

Juvencus (39) 6-4. The Kytler Peninsulae (UR)
Although shaky, the 3rd seed got the win against their unranked opponents.

Ottoman Syldavia (338) 0-1 South Newlandia (228)

Pasarga had a bye day.

Current standings

Group 13                              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Valanora                                4    4   0   0    13    4   +9    12
 2 Eraman                                  4    3   1   0    13    8   +5    10
 3 Ottoman Syldavia                        4    3   0   1     8    4   +4     9
 4 South Newlandia                         4    2   1   1     8    8    0     7
 5 Bliuji                                  3    2   0   1    12    6   +6     6
 6 Juvencus                                3    2   0   1    10    8   +2     6
   Pasarga                                 3    2   0   1     4    2   +2     6
 8 Mavinet                                 4    2   0   2     9   10   −1     6
 9 Pangurstan                              4    1   0   3     8   11   −3     3
10 Plane of Possibility                    4    0   2   2     7    9   −2     2
11 The Kytler Peninsulae                   4    0   1   3    10   18   −8     1
12 Kuriko                                  4    0   1   3     2   11   −9     1
13 Tamgu                                   3    0   0   3     3    8   −5     0

Schedule for Group 13, Matchday 5

Kuriko (330) vs. Juvencus (39)
Juvencus should have an easy time here.

Pangurstan (311) vs. Bliuji (99)
Bliuji also gets an easy matchup.

Mavinet (218) vs. Valanora (15)
This is where things get interesting. Will the BoF-Champion have a chance against the pot 1 team?

Tamgu (79) vs. Ottoman Syldavia (338)
That is another interesting one. On paper, Tamgu should win, but the results so far say something else.

Pasarga (25) vs. Eraman (63)
This is the top matchup of the day. Two top teams with good records facing each other will always be interesting.

The Kytler Peninsulae will have their bye day.

South Newlandia (228) vs. Plane of Possibility (148)
The Elephants will face the 7th seed next at Walstreim City Stadium. The teams should be close in strength, but the Planers have not been performing well recently. At home, this will be a hard, but doable task.

[Garifunya]

Presidential Palace, Frederyvkil, Garifunya

"François!"

François Celestin popped his head into the presidential office. "Yes, Mr. President?"

"Come here, please." Immanuel Prins beckoned François to his desk.

The thin, bearded, older man made his way to the younger man's desk. "What can I do for you, Mr. President?"

"You can help me finalize who our next vice president will be." Spread out in front of Prins were pictures of and dossiers about Simone Lunenborg, Aaliya Pilon, Dirk Voordenhout, and Hanneke Hulter.

"Mr. President, sir, it is late. I thought we had settled this. You should be in bed. It has been a long day."

"Well, yes, François, but I am feeling distinctly unsettled at the moment. This is a key decision. I know that the job of the Vice President is mostly to sit around and not die so that they can replace me, but it will send a signal to the nation, and everything is politics with the legislature."

François suppressed a sigh. "Yes, Mr. President. Let's talk through the candidates again." He picked up a dossier. "Simone Lunenborg. Age 38, not terribly younger than yourself, sir, Deputy Leader of the Social Democratic Party in the House of Freeholders. She's well-respected in the House, reportedly easy to get along with, already a supporter of your administration, and won't, pardon my language, piss off the left either. Our polling indicates she's popular with the public. It seems to me choosing her is like choosing Mechiel Disselhorst to convert a key penalty. In fact, not picking her might be 'missing a sitter', as our voetbal fans say."

"I know, François, I've seen the numbers. And everyone says she is a home run, as the honkbal fans say. But I can't shake the idea that we ought to be reaching out, broadening our coalition. I know the Social Democrats are key allies, but I think I want to avoid the appearance of picking a sycophant. Simone's big idea is continuing the jobs program. We need dialogue, fresh ideas. I feel like my presidency's getting stale."

François put down the dossier and picked up another one. "Very well, Mr. President. We also have Aaliya Pilon, from Democratic Revival. Also age 38, in important positions in the party and the Senaat, somebody you campaigned for personally. I met with Speelman and van Riemsdijk the other day. They were pressing her very hard. It would be a good choice to shore up support within DR. You know that some are growing frustrated with the jobs program and want to pivot to other issues."

"Yes, I am aware of Speelman and van Riemsdijk's objections. Her anti-dictatorship and anti-corruption history might buy us some credibility with our critics. And I know having DR's support in the legislature is critical. But I want to show that I am my own man, not some party hack. I serve all Garifunyans, not the leaders of Democratic Revival. She would bring in a different perspective. Try as she might to cover her tracks, I know some of the anonymous comments about the jobs program come from her. But I do want reconciliation. I know our nation is not wholly healed from the civil war; there are still individuals who thought Gillaat was stable and benefited them, and that I am some coup leader. I want to break that perception."

François picked up the third dossier. "Then how about Dirk Voordenhout? He's white, leans to the right, would be acceptable to the Nationals, but isn't a racist. You've worked with him before and he got good reviews as mayor of Vrijport. He scores surprisingly high on in our polling, and he's economic and foreign policy connections that we could use. Plus he's an independent, just like yourself. Two men, not beholden to any party or special interest, just running the country."

"He is an appealing pick. Independent, would bring a fresh perspective, can work with me without agreeing with me on everything. I like him, François, I really do. He could help get us trade deals and rehabilitate our relationship with Europe. He is the one I would pick if we could avoid politics. But it always comes back to politics. It might win us some points with the right, and he's not unpopular with DR, but the SDP aren't fans and there would be no further co-operation with anybody left of them for the rest of my presidency. Plus, I've seen the polling too. Lots of people like him, but just as many dislike him. He's no-one's second choice, and it might cause more controversy than it solves. Plus for every white voter we win, we might lose two black voters."

François nodded. "Our final candidate is Hanneke Hulter. If you're worried about co-operation and criticism from the left, there's no better pick. She leads the left in the legislature; they all adore her. It would get them off our backs, and since she would be part of the administration, it would be a lot harder to criticize us. We might have to swallow a little more left policy, but if we could neutralize their appeal, there's room to grow in the next election. Maybe even an outright majority."

"François, it's politics all the way down with you, isn't it? I don't want to pick someone because it's convenient, or because I'll be criticized less. I want someone who I can work constructively with for the betterment of the nation. She has a lot of street cred, and I want our government to be accessible and authentic for the citizens. But having been governed so conservatively for thirty years, I doubt swinging hard to the left is what people really want. She's confrontational and besides, she might not even take the job."

François set down the dossier, his brow furrowed. "Mr. President, you have objections to all the candidates. But you must pick one. These are our best options."

Prins looked at François. "What if I went with someone who wasn't in the dossier? I have a candidate in mind who is intelligent, hard-working, wise, collaborative, politically savvy, who loves their country, has served it well in the past, and who is a friend to boot. Only problem is, I don't know if they'll accept."

François looked back at Prins. "Who is this miracle candidate? Say the word and I'll turn the screws to get them on board."

"You, François."

François stepped back. "Me, Mr. President? That would be most unwise."

Prins flopped back in his chair. "How so? You have all of the qualities I've listed, which are important for someone in a high government office. You've been a mentor and a partner to me. I can't think of anyone else who could help me achieve my vision for Garifunya the way you could. Sure, there would be political issues, but that's nothing a good PR campaign and taking our case to the people can't fix. You're a true patriot, François, and one of the only people I can trust around here. Will you serve your country as Vice President?"

François busied himself organizing the dossiers on the desk. "I think you need to sleep on this, Immanuel. I will serve if you ask me, because you are my friend and my president. But I think you and I both know I am not the person you should choose. I will not live forever, nor will our relationship be the same if you ask me to do this. I will see you in the morning. Make the right choice."

With that, he turned and left the office, choking back a brief sob. Prins sat in his chair, stunned. There were two things François rarely did: show emotion, or call him "Immanuel." That gave him a lot to think about, on many things. It was going to be a long night.

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

OOC - the source I've adopted should be obvious; but just in case.

A SPEECH BY SIR BARSANUPHIUS THE BOLD

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration against the wanton abuse of a performance-enhancing substance in the history of the multiverse.

At the end of the last World Cup, I launched my crusade against Cocoa-bo. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions those across the multiverse who had become enslaved to their addiction to the Vilitan menace and seared in the flames of this withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But just one World Cup later, and the addicts are not yet free. One World Cup later, the lives of Cocoa-bo addicts are still sadly crippled by the manacles of drug dependency. One World Cup later, the Cocoa-bo addict lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One World Cup later, the addict is still languished in the corners of society and finds himself in exile in his own land. And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we've come back here to the Imperial City following last night's away victory against Indusse to cash a check. When the founders of the World Cup Committee wrote the magnificent words of the World Cup Constitution, they were signing a promissory note to which every sentient being in the multiverse was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all sentient beings, yes, ponies and ursines and elves and humans and even Kryties, would be guaranteed the unalienable right to participate in the World Cup on an equal footing. It is obvious today that the World Cup Committee has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as the consumers of Cocoa-bo are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, the World Cup Committee has allowed some to become addicted to this insidious drug, and others to benefit from gene-tailoring that has turned it into a performance-enhancing substance for the select few.

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of the World Cup. And so we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the the security of justice, safe in the knowledge that any nation may win the World Cup without recourse to cheating, or by undermining the moral fibre of the innocent via Cocoa-bo addiction.

We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind the multiverse of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises that come from banning Cocoa-bo. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of addiction to the sunlit path of justice. Now is the time to lift the World Cup from the quicksands of performance-enhancing injustice to the solid rock of equality. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of the multiverse's children.

It would be fatal for the World Cup Committee to overlook the urgency of the moment. This qualifying round of our legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating World Cup finals of freedom and equality. The World Cup 85 qualifiers are not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that I needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the World Cup Committee returns to business as usual when it comes to Cocoa-bo. There will be neither rest nor tranquility until Cocoa-bo is banned from every participating nation, even Vilita and Turori. The whirlwinds of my crusade will continue to shake the foundations of our beloved tournament until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to all football fans, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: in the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting the physical force of the Vilitan narco-cartels with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the crusade against Cocoa-bo must not lead us to a distrust of those who have not yet joined the crusade, for many of our brothers, sisters, and potentially sympathetic sentient beings of indeterminate gender will surely come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny, that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the crusader against Cocoa-bo, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Cocoa-bo addict is the victim of the unspeakable squalor of addiction. We can never be satisfied as long as some teams are given performance-enhancing substances that see them rise in the official rankings. We can never be satisfied as long as the addicts are stripped of their selfhood and robbed of their dignity. We cannot be satisfied as long as a drink named after a ridiculous flightless bird is given free reign across the multiverse. No, no, we are not satisfied and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come from areas where your quest against Cocoa-bo left you battered by the storms of persecution . You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to Reçueçn, go back to Northwest Kalactin, go back to Omerica, go back to Zwangzug, go back to the other nations that have shown interest in this crusade - and ignore the unwise in Electrum, in Filindostan, and the other nations that still seek to promote Cocoa-bo. Know that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the World Cup dream.

I have a dream that one day the World Cup Committee will rise up and live out the true meaning of this creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all national teams are created potentially equal."

I have a dream that one day in the cities of Northwest Kalactin, the sons of former Cocoa-bo addicts and the sons of former Cocoa-bo makers will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the Island Emirate of Turori, a nation sweltering fro the manufacture of Cocoa-bo, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of justice and freedom from chocolaty beverages.

I have a dream that my fellow squad members will one day play in a World Cup where they will not be judged by the consumption of Cocoa-bo but by the quality of their play. I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day down in Omerica and Electrum, with their provocative news media, with their editors vying with each other to proclaim whose news is the most true, one day right there in Omerica and Electrum little boys and little girls who read The Beet will be able to join hands with little boys and little girls who read The Turnip as sisters and brothers once the divisive barrier of Cocoa-bo has been removed from all nations. I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I go forth from the Imperial Hippodrome with; with this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords caused by the pervasiveness of Cocoa-bo into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood, sisterhood, and gender-fluidhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to campaign against Cocoa-bo together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free of Cocoa-bo's insidious influence one day.

This will be the day, this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning a song of freedom and brotherhood, safe in the knowledge that the World Cup is once again a level playing field.

And if the World Cup is to remain a great tournament, this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of Northwest Kalactin. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of Reçueçn. Let freedom ring from the statistical spreadsheets of Zwangzug. Let freedom ring from the angry rants of the Sarian. Let freedom ring from the curvaceous bodies of the Cheergirls. But not only that: Let freedom ring from the jungles of Vilita. Let freedom ring from the island of Turori. Let freedom ring from the editorial offices of The Turnip. From every World Cup participating nation, let freedom from Cocoa-bo ring.

And when this happens, and when we allow freedom from Cocoa-bo to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every nation and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of the multiverse's children, humans and ponies, dwarves and elves, cheerleaders and the drunk people at the local tavern, will be able to join hands and sing the following words:

"Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free from Cocoa-bo at last!"

[Ethane]

The Viewfinder

Concern over access to football

Fans of football in Swanmouth have complained over their lack of access to games during the Baptism of Fire and the World Cup qualification campaign.

Fans are in uproar after the world cup qualification game announcements, after it arose that no games are taking place in the North-East of Ethane. The games are set to occur all in New Sarum, Southern Hampton and Letson, according to the announcements of the world cup games, with no games occurring in the rest of the nation. This has led to cries for greater match distribution across the nation, after the cost of travel to a game from someone in Swanmouth was revealed.

On match days, rail tickets from Swanmouth to various cities with matches can often increase in price by up to 3x with the increased demand, seeing prices rise up to around C2H6 75 for a return journey. Adding this on to the cost of a match ticket makes attending the game for someone from Swanmouth prohibitively expensive.

"Once again, this is a sign of the more developed part of Ethane being supported over the North-East. The capital and surrounding cities and areas always seem to get favoured for monetary spending over the North-East in transport, health and education, and now sports as well; for a fairer Ethane, this has to change", a resident of Swanmouth said.

The largest opposition party at the moment, GreenerEthane!, released a statement earlier today:

"The Social Conservatives have a long history of favouring New Sarum and the South-West over other parts of Ethane, especially the North-East. Infrastructure, economic, and sports disparities plague the nation. We call on the government to re-distribute the sporting matches to the rest of Ethane, along with greater economic and infrastructural re-distribution to work for a fairer Ethane."

The government are yet to respond to our request for a statement.

When U Die murdered

Concerns where raised in regard to the match against When U Die due to the perceived threat to Ethanians in the name of the nation, with concerns of Ethanian safety from the visiting fans.

However, concerns over Ethani safety were misguided, with the When U Die team instead completely obliterated by the Ethani team. When U Die never really posed a threat to the Ethanian team who waltzed to a 4-0 victory in comfort and style.

The first goal came in the 17th minute, with a chip by Mitchell over the head of the keeper. He was beautifully set up with a short pass from Montoya past the final defender, leaving him free on goal with only the keeper to beat.

Underwood picked up the second goal in the 33rd minute, with a 30-yard shot into the centre of the goal. The shot should have been saved, but a mistake by one of the defenders deflected the ball just past the outstretched arms of the keeper, who had to react quickly to the change in direction of the ball.

Montoya scored the third goal in the 46th minute, straight out of the gates after half time. Mitchell had the ball in the box, but his angle for a shot was blocked by the defenders and keeper. Instead, he passed in back to Montoya who was waiting at the edge of the box. He beautifully curved the ball past the keeper into the left side of the goal.

The final goal came in the 76th minute, after When U Die conceded a free kick from a few metres outside the box. Atanga took it. He faked well to dupe the wall and then sent the ball under the jumping wall. The goalkeeper's vision was obscured as well, meaning he was not able to react in time to stop the ball crossing the line. Instead, he just watched it as it passed over the line.

This game was important to the Red Kites, after 1 win, 1 loss, and 1 draw in the first three games left them trailing. Now, instead of being uncomfortably far behind, they have managed to close the gap to the top to only 2 points. This is undoubtedly aided by results elsewhere which advantaged the Red Kites. A high-scoring game saw Bolgano beat Abanhfleft, leaving the team that beat Ethane in their second match of the campaign stranded on 9 points. Other games also saw losses which allowed Ethane to move up to 3rd.

This group has been characterised by poor defensive performances so far. After 3 or 4 games, the best defensive record in the group is held by Siovanija And Teusland in 5th, having conceded 4 goals in 3 games - greater than a goal a game. Most of the teams have conceded 6 or higher, with The Commuinist republic of chinatown having conceded 15 goals in only 4 games, a terrible record of over 3 goals conceded per match.

Roster for the next game

GOALKEEPER: Joss Araújo
LEFT-BACK: Antonio Atanga
CENTRE-BACK: Nelson Romero
CENTRE-BACK: Craig James
RIGHT-BACK: Zakariya McArthur
LEFT-MIDFIELDER: Alex Woodrow
CENTRE-MIDFIELDER: Leyton Underwood
RIGHT-MIDFIELDER: Kyle Ford
ATTACKING-MIDFIELDER: Andy Obrien
STRIKER: Samuel Mitchell
STRIKER: Declan Smith