World Bowl XXXVIII Everything Thread

[Geektopia]

Geektivities
*Be cool, be woke.

BearOil: The Expected Group?
Since Matchday 1, when the Greens made an excellent XXXVIII debut in Matchday 1 to the form they're keeping now: Are the groups getting more predictable?

Of course, the answer would be an astounding yes. This is the reason why pots and organized group placements exist: to keep everything in order. But one such group in the competition has had a surge of dominance between TWO teams that will face tomorrow. One team is Geektopia, a fledgling, amateur football team who have struggled to maintain status in ranking and play style. In the Pots, they barely even made it to the second out of four but are striking pundits across Geektopia as an actual team, with the potency to qualify as group runners-up.

A highly-held team in their own regard to the gridiron world, Ranoria has taken no prisoners in their last three, predicted to come out as expected group victors and onto the R16. The abnormality of this all is that BearOil are the only group as of far to have two undefeated national teams ranked by pot order. But is normality really taking over gridiron? Let's see in a calculation we like to call PDPG. "This is a stupid formula, of course the better ranked teams are going to come through by a landslide on Point Difference Average!". We'll see about that, you heckler.

AllMart Group:

Predictability Rating

Ranked: +21 PD Average over 3 games
Unranked: -21 PD Average over 3 games

BearOil Group:
Ranked: +40 PD Average over 3 games
Unranked: -40 PD Average over 3 games

Dixon Light Group:
Ranked: +15 PD Average over 3 games
Unranked: -15 PD Average over 3 games

ECM Group:
Ranked: +29 PD Average over 3 games
Unranked: -29 PD Average over 3 games

FreedomCola Group:
Ranked: +43 PD Average over 3 games
Unranked: -43 PD Average over 3 games

Nicholis Enterprises Group:
Ranked: +1 PD Average over 3 games
Unranked: -1 PD Average over 3 games

O'Reilly Group of Greatness:
Ranked: +24 PD Average over 3 games
Unranked: -24 PD Average over 3 games

Sporting World Group:
Ranked: +36 PD Average over 3 games
Unranked: -36 PD Average over 3 games

Well, that guy was right, but only by 1 point! Nicholis Enterprises seems to have no control of where it's going, with ranked and unranked teams present all across the board! Let's hope for a forth round upset on this one! BearOil just loses out to FreedomCola in terms of predictability rating, and everyone in the top 4 seems to have their shit together.

[Ko-oren]

One turnaround, please

We expected a lot for our title defending campaign, but not this. Losses to close challengers Newmanistan and then the back-from-long-ago Karditan has put our national team in fifth place, one win out of first, behind the teams we lost to as well as Anthor. There's nothing to worry about yet -

But who are we kidding. Sitting on a roster full of talent, the same core group as last World Bowl, and the national league's domestic club coaches retained for advice on strategy, there is no way that a team like ours should lose more than once all group stage. This World Bowl was set up a little differently, with just five group stage games, before we go to a second group. That is, if we make it there. We have just two games left to finish in the top 2, for which we need to correct the one win we're behind, overtaking three other teams. Honestly, it's not hard to see the Dragonflies fall at this hurdle, and all hell should break loose then. We thought we'd be among the title candidates, but here we are hoping for some magic, that's not in our hands, to keep watching the Green and Blue for a little longer.

It's been a few weeks since the Ko-oren Bowl, and the end of another storied season. The Willowbourne Saints eventually won it all, upsetting their division-mates Mayara Destroyers in the semifinal. The Destroyers were on pace to go to a third consecutive Ko-oren Bowl, as one of two teams on a proper dynasty right now, not much of a passing attack but beyond unstoppable everywhere else. The other team that could be considered a dynasty are the Sterrenwolde Dragonflies, having made it to the postseason nearly 75% of the time, appearing in multiple Bowls, and winning two of them as well. To see both of these teams messing up in the semifinals is telling in the light of this World Bowl, but at the time we just enjoyed seeing different teams in the Bowl. The Schemerdrecht 65ers, representing the East, are not a huge stretch. The Willowbourne Saints, however, were. They had a losing record last season, and the season before, and the season before that, always hoping to not finish dead last in the division - but courtesy of some weak Eaglebury Emperors and Mawryshire Centaurs teams, they never did. Aside from teams, there were the usual players that excelled at their positions and made everyone around them excel as well, and of course the group of players that came from nowhere, conquered the heart of the fanbase, and will face higher expectations next year - with all the tools to do even better then.

It's interesting to see that not all trohpy winners for being the best at their position were put on the national team. Of course, league MVP Gabe Henry is present, anchoring the defence like he does at the Greencaster Godspeed, and given Ko-oren's narrow quarterback talent, Robin Reeman is the prime signalcaller. The player who eventually ended up with 'Runner of the year', yGwmrwll, wasn't invited, for instance. Instead, it's the big names that were invited: Galway, Thorebourne, together with exciting new arrival Paterson and silent/strong fullback Guillan. Even Ko-oren Bowl-winning returner Ayama Aereivin isn't among our prized special teams unit. Choosing the most well-known names in favour of those that actually excelled - and were recognised for it - could just be the end of our World Bowl aspirations. That's not to say that most of the roster is comprised of famous has-beens, far from it. It's hard to pinpoint exactly why Ko-oren are 1-2 and facing elimination. All the pieces are there, in the right place, doing what they should, and yet...

It's even weirder seeing the team in fifth place, with a positive point differential. Our losses have been by 5 points (Karditan) and 3 points (Newmanistan), before that we beat Anthor by 17. Anyway, it should be a fun crowded Head-to-head party by the end of the group stage. Anthor has beaten Newmanistan already, and should they also win against Karditan (whose single loss was to Resarkia, actually), there's a good chance we can finish among the top two or three in this group. It all starts with winning. And we need to start sooner rather than later: another loss, and chances of us advancing are mathematical at best. The good news is that we face Pius Desurongcrandis and Resarkia from here on out, and we've already gone through all 2-1 teams.

[TJUN-ia]

TJUN-ia Update: Estonopolis Pt. 2: A New Order

I believe TJUN-ia left all it's effort an belief in that win over TCNE.

Cardo had beaten us, and now Cassadiagua too. 28-20.Jake Griffin put up good numbers, but our defence couldn't hold back Taylor Crimmins. Still, 4th in the group is not bad for this new team.

Our final game in Estonopolis, and our final game before the Super Bowl, is against Smyth.

GO JAGS!

[Newmanistan]

THE ROCKET REPORT

TWO OUT OF THREE

by Taylor Larson,

Good morning or good whatever time of day it is for you as you open up and read this. Brianne Henry has been sick this week. No, she has not caught whatever panic virus is going on throughout the world, but she has not been feeling well. This has meant that the Rocket Report has not been able to provide the greatest coverage for the beginning games of the World Bowl. We have sent some other people to Free Republics in her place and coverage has been provided on our website, but it is pretty evident that there is only one Brianne Henry. She has been my mentor, but enough about all of that.

Actually, Brianne did get sick while in the Free Republics. So did another one of camera people, too. Just a coincidence, of course. This is a nice country, and one with very high health standards. It’s not the nations fault that Brianne, when healthy, last went to a sushi restaurant in Barkersville. She should be back to cover the second group stage. That will leave me assigned, probably to the Sporting World Cup. I don’t mind that, and I will be glad that I won’t have to eat any sushi in Free Republics for that. This used to be where the Sporting World Cup was played (that’s teenagers playing soccer, by the way). Let’s get to this article. One of the things my bosses have said I need to improve upon to be more like Brianne is that I tend to ramble about things in articles that really have nothing to do with anything. Oops, I did it again!

So far in World Bowl 38, Newmanistan has won two games and lost one, making it already a better campaign then the pathetic excuse for a performance that our team put forth in World Bowl 37. Marvin Dineen was allowed to come back and coach this team, riding the coattails of this World Bowl 34 runner up performance and again showing that Newmanistanian organizations are too reluctant to fire national team coaches. Somehow, Dineen and his predictable and boring method of play calling is still here. Marvin Dineen declined to be interviewed by me because he doesn’t like me. That’s mutual. We need someone better coaching this team. He did do something right, however, and gave the roster nearly a total makeover. That’s a start.

Newmanistan first began with a game against Pius D (what Brianne always called them, so I will not buck tradition. Their media needs to provide some press material in order to get me to start typing out Desurongcrandis), and not surprisingly, Dineen called two conventional runs to get the first series started before trying a screen pass on 3rd and 7. That failed to convert, and one of the most common sights on Newmanistan for World Bowl 37, punter Matty Gray, was back on the field. Kicker Michael Krizman was our team MVP from that, but as Gray is the holder on field goals, he got lot of use. Newmanistan eventually did score in the first quarter, thanks to Krizman nailing a 33 yarder when the offense stalled in the red zone.

In the second quarter, and the score still 3-0, Newmanistan did get their first touchdown of the campaign when Thomas Browning ran it in from two yards. It was a good looking 14-play drive where they methodically moved down the field instead of having one or two big plays. The Rockets got another Krizman specialty later in the quarter, this from 40 yards to make it 13-0. However, the team could not hold off Pius D before halftime, despite kicking the ball to them with :36 left on the clock. Shoddy tackling in the secondary allowed a short pass to go for a 71 yard touchdown right before halftime, making it 13-7 despite the sky blue being the better team for most of the game.

After halftime, Newmanistan did not get much going, and allowed a sustained drive from Pius D to find the end zone. It was the only time that Pius D put together such a drive for the entire game, but with 7:06 remaining in the third quarter, the scoreboard read 14-13, in their favor. That’s why touchdowns are better then field goals, kids. Fortunately, we did manage to get something together in the fourth quarter, with Kyle Scandella hauling in a 8-yard TD reception, and that was the final in a 20-14 victory.

As good as it was to win on opening day, it was not a result that is going to intimidate anyone, but a stunning result over Ko-oren in the second game just may have. Ranked #1 in the world, Ko-oren is everyone’s pick to win this group that has any common sense in following this sport. They were my pick too, as I am not going to blindly pick our team for anything. The defensive prowess of the Dragonflies completely frustrated the Rockets in the first quarter, as their only two possessions of the opening frame resulted in a net loss of four yards. They didn’t get much going in the first quarter either, though opened up the scoring in the second quarter when Leon Ahearn sacked and forced a Brian Scanlon fumble, which was recovered by Gabe Henry (no relation to Brianne), for 24 yards and a touchdown. With the final play of the first half, the Rockets attempted a 60-yard FG from Krizman, that split the uprights and made it 7-3. That would be important later.

In the second half, Ko-oren made it 14-3 on a Roe Fineman 44-yard TD reception, and it seemed as though they were in pretty good shape. However, the Rockets caught a break towards the end of the third quarter when Go Bromsvoord botched a punt return that he probably should have just signaled a fair catch for. When Bromsvoord dropped the punt, Jeremy Harrington was right on top of it, and took it 7 yards for the score. Bronsvoord and the Ko-oren sideline argued that the returner signaled for a fair catch, but it was ruled that he did not. Cameras picked up his moving his right arm slightly, but I believe the right call was made and that is not just because I am viewing it through sky blue colored glasses. With the score now 14-10, Newmanistan had some life, and after containing the Dragonflies, Newmanistan marched downfield for the only time during the game and got to the end zone, with Scanlon finding Lucas Jackson for a 23 yard score, making it 17-14. There was still 9:55 to play, but the defense held off Ko-oren, and secured an upset win.

Naturally, in typical Newmanistanian World Bowl fashion, they followed up a big win with a bad loss. Anthor spanked this squad 34-20, as the team was obviously got too big of a head after the Ko-oren win and were unprepared to play Anthor. Our opponents scored touchdowns on their first three possessions, and a field goal on their fourth to jump out to a 24-3 lead, and we were never in the game. Eventually we played a little better on defense, but 24-3 became 34-6 in the third quarter. Newmanistan picked up two touchdowns in garbage time to make the score look closer then it really was. Marvin Dineen, in his press conference after the game, just said predictable things like, “it wasn’t our day” or “we didn’t get the breaks”. I guess, it wasn’t Marvin. No, you didn’t.

After three games, Newmanistan is 2-1 with games against unranked Karditan and Resarkia to finish it off. Likely one, if not both of them will defeat us, but hopefully we can beat the teams that we should be beating. If so, then we are 4-1, and at least second. It would be wonderful if they could stay ahead of Ko-oren. But remember, they are still coached by Marvin Dineen.

[Ranoria]

Derek McNair Leads Dynamic Offense to Great New Heights

Last season, this national Ranoria squad had to strive for each individual success, for every victory on their slate. This season, however, has been a breeze for this team, the offense in particular.

In their first three matches this season, this squad has scored over forty points per game, with an offensive production that rivals that of a squad that Ranorians will be quite accustomed to seeing: Loyola Istria.

Of course, the highlight of this entire thing is obviously quarterback Derek McNair, who’s already cleared one thousand yards and ten touchdown passes without a turnover. Chip in a hundred rushing yards and three more touchdowns rushing, and he’s stolen the spotlight in every game he’s played in.

Of course, the team’s situation is leading to some gaudy passing numbers. First off, wide receiver Earl Beets, a perennial all pro, joined the squad this season, and has proven to be nothing short of impossible to cover despite opposing squads attempting to place both horizontal and vertical bracket coverage on him. With his addition, the passing game has gone from unreliable due to a shaky wideout group to explosive. And defensively, while most of the squad is returning from last season, many of those returning players have improved their game, having stuck with pro rosters throughout an entire season in many cases. As such, the defense has already produced three turnovers, which is allowing the offense more opportunities to score

And lastly, of course, comes an inefficient running game. Without Melvin Strong, no other top-end RFL backs were willing to participate this season. There is a fear that the increased workload, which could potentially more than double the workload of a runner, could shorten careers in the long run.

Other improvements this season, much thanks to an increased budget, include left tackle Kevin Eakin and pass rusher Jarrett Hauptmann, a stud for the Pittsburgh Ironmen. As this team continues to build on its success, we could eventually see a truly star studded roster taking the field in coming seasons.

[Hapilopper]

After Game 3: Hapilopper 19-20 Allumunnic States
Everything had gone rather well for the Haps at this point. They had remained even with the Allumunnic States at this point in what had been, plain and simple, a fantastic game of football. Hapilopper, at this point, was down by one point with just 5 seconds left on the clock. Head Coach Ducky Jenkins had utilized his timeouts to the best of his ability, and now, the Haps were on the Allamunnae 30 yard line for a 47-yard field goal attempt. It was a little long for kicker Mitch Hathaway, but his longest had been a 56-yard field goal five years ago to put the Buckridge Marauders over the Emporia Wolves.

The Haps and their fans were delighted. Mitch had been almost automatic in these kinds of kicks. From 40 to 50 yards, Mitch had made 99.5 percent of his kicks in the 20 plus years he had been a professional. Consequently, the Hapiloppian fans had every reason to have the utmost confidence in Mitch and his ability to secure the game. Ditto with Ducky. He figured it would be safer for the Haps to go for a field goal, rather than some last-second heroics.

But nobody’s perfect, and the other team does have ways of stopping those heroics. Mitch was just about to kick, and the Allumunnic States called a time-out in an attempt to ice the kicker. No problem, Mitch had been in this situation before, all he would do was just reset the situation and go back to square one. He walked back to where he had set up, glared at the Allamunnae sideline, then turned to look at the Hapiloppian sideline, nodded at the coaching staff, and got ready again. Once the timeout was over, Mitch stood ready, and the ball was just about to be snapped… when another time-out was called.

Mitch didn’t hear the whistle for whatever reason. He was too focused on making the kick as it was being flung back to him. He made the kick absolutely perfect, and it sailed through the uprights absolutely perfectly. He celebrated briefly, until he quickly realized that nobody else had been. The referee waved off the field goal, telling him that a time-out had been called, and the kick did not count.

Now he was getting a little frustrated. He would have to start his motion all over again. There was nothing illegal about what was going on. This was the move of a veteran team working to ice an upstart national team. But it was still getting frustrating. Mitch shook his head, the ball was retrieved, the timeout ended, and it was time to start again. He looked back at the Hapiloppian coaches, nodded approvingly to them, and started again.

This time, no time-out was called. There was no attempt to ice the kicker. Mitch got the ball tossed back to him, and he made the kick, or at least tried to. It hadn’t been thrown back straight, and Mitch tried to compensate. As a result, he didn’t get the kick off properly. Rather than flying straight towards the goal posts, the ball sailed more right than it should have. Much further to the right. The kick had the distance, but it didn’t have the proper trajectory. It missed the goalposts, and the game was over. The Allumunnic States had won 20-19.

Mitch walked off as soon as he saw the kick start sailing towards the right. By the time the ball went past the right goalpost, he was already on his way to the tunnel. He was incensed at what had happened – both at the Allamunnae team for the two time-outs, at center Mike Adler for not flinging the ball back properly, and at quarterback Baldwin Hayley for not setting the ball properly, but at the end of the day, Mitch really had no one to blame but himself. Any football team worth their salt will ice a kicker. It’s just good strategy. Plus, just because a ball hadn’t been flung back properly and the holder hadn’t set it right didn’t mean he couldn’t still make the field goal. Sure, it would be a little more difficult, but Mitch had made longer field goals in more trying circumstances than that in his 20 years as a kicker.

The rest of the Hapiloppian team knew that. They didn’t harbor any ill will to the Allamunnae. After all, they would have done the same thing to them had the roles been reversed. Icing the kicker was just good strategy, and as seen on a kicker like Mitch Hathaway, it just plain worked. Still, it was a frustrating way to lose a ballgame. The Haps had done everything right against what had been a very good football team, only for their one mistake to come in the final five seconds of the game, when the outcome was on the line. They had found the Allamunnae weakness, but at the same time, the Allamunnae had found and exploited one of Hapilopper’s weaknesses – getting to the kicker.

It had been a frustrating moment, but there was no time for the Haps to mope about the loss. They had the Main Nation Ministry ahead of them. The Ministry of Sports’ football team had run roughshod over HUElavia, 46-7, in the kind of game that Hapiloppian TV networks would have left “for a more competitive matchup” as had been the case in a few domestic football games in the past season. The Haps had to be on their absolute best if they wanted to have any hope of taking down the Ministry.

[Saint Kanye]

WORLD BOWL: TAES SURVIVE GRITTY SURGE 27-21, KEEP GROUP RECORD SPOTLESS

by Brenda Lawson

RECO, JOLARUS - The St. Kanye Surge national gridiron team has just suffered its second straight setback in World Bowl XXXVIII here in the Free Republics, getting edged 27-21 by the Taeshan Fitin' Falcons at the AllMart Dome.

The Kanyeans, whose maiden World Bowl season is the current one, were coming off a 20-30 loss to world #32 Lisander at Papa Joe's Crusader Stadium a day prior, and were expecting an equally tough if not tougher matchup against the seventh-ranked Taeshanis. Kanyean head coach Jeff Delphine's wards came prepared with plays that kept them in the fight for most of the time; they even drew first blood, with quarterback Landon Klein connecting with wideout Patrick Moore for a 45-yard touchdown. The Taes quickly retaliated with a 54-yard TD pass from Sam Clentimack to Angel Herrera, and then a Parson Newberry run and a Martin Xavier field goal for seventeen unanswered points and a ten-point halftime lead.

St. Kanye would cut the deficit to three, 14-17, on Klein's second TD pass of the day, this time to fullback Nico Jackson, who is more known for his blocking and receiving than actually running the ball. But the Falcons scored ten once again, putting themselves up 27-14 after three quarters. They got in the red zone in the middle of the fourth, hoping to bury the Surge further, however, their plan was foiled when Kanyean linebacker Hansel Jones intercepted a Clentimack pass meant for Herrera. This is not when the Surge scored, though. They were held to a three and out on that possession and were forced to punt. Gunner Isaak Clearwater, who was originally a mediocre wide receiver who then found a home in special teams, was able to pop the pigskin loose from the Taeshani punt returner. The fumble was scooped up by backup WR Hunter Lane, who then ran for the touchdown, cutting the Falcon lead once again, 21-27.

Unfortunately, Taeshan ate up great deals of clock on their succeeding possessions, giving St. Kanye inadequate time for a comeback. The latter dropped to 1-2, tied with three other teams for last in the AllMart Group, whereas the former notched its third win in as many games.

Now the Surge are in a must win situation for their next two games, against fellow unranked La Montevideo and then #20 The Greater Nordics. Even then, advancement to the Round of 16 is not guaranteed. "Not exactly where we wanted to be three games into the elimination stage", said Kanyean offensive coordinator Cory Myers. "Lisander buried us early, while Taeshan showed why they deserve to be in the world's top ten squads, and held off our valiant effort. We're a young team, and even with the Ls, those games gave us valuable experience that we could use one day. The next time we face these teams again, if we do, hopefully we end up having done enough to prevent a repeat of the outcome." The La Montevideo game will be back at Papa Joe's Crusader Stadium, while the one against the Greater Nordics will take place at the Armed Forces Stadium. In between these two games is a 24-hour period for teams to take a break, or in the case of the Surge as well as some other teams, keep training and making strategies.

---

Scoring Information:

STK - Moore 45 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) STK 7-0
TAE - Herrera 54 pass from Clentimack (Xavier kick) Tie 7-7

TAE - Newberry 22 run (Xavier kick) TAE 14-7
TAE - field goal Xavier 38 TAE 17-7

STK - Jackson 19 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) TAE 17-14
TAE - Watanabe 5 pass from Clentimack (Xavier kick) TAE 24-14
TAE - field goal Xavier 44 TAE 27-14

STK - Lane 72 fumble return (Rasputin kick) TAE 27-21

Schedule:

Matchday 1: W 54-3 vs. Lushansk (UR*) @ Papa Joe's Crusader Stadium, Peroxia, Jolarus
Matchday 2: L 20-30 vs. Lisander (32) @ Papa Joe's Crusader Stadium, Peroxia, Jolarus
Matchday 3: L 21-27 vs. Taeshan (7) @ AllMart Dome, Reco, Jolarus
Matchday 4: White/White vs. La Montevideo (UR) @ Papa Joe's Crusader Stadium, Peroxia, Jolarus
BREAK
Matchday 5: Purple/Purple vs. The Greater Nordics (20) @ Armed Forces Stadium, Peroxia, Jolarus

*Unranked.

[Terre Septentrionale]

Terre Septentrionale loses against Vangaziland

Geeattle, Torapa, Free Republics - After winning two easy games, Terre Septenterionale played against Vangaziland, a team ranked 17th. A much better opponent. The Nordiques played well, but lost 26-17. Terre Septentrionale passed for 241 yards and ran for 118 yards for a total of 359 offense yards. Vangaziland passed for 306 yards and ran for 133 yards for a total of 439 offense yards.

Vangaziland won the coin toss and scored a 18 yards passing touchdown on their first drive when Benny Banks caught Josh Depzman's pass into the endzone. It was the only score of the 1st quarter. Early in the 2nd quarter, Terre Septentrionale tied the game when Montavious McBryde ran into the endzone for 4 yards and the game was tied at 7-7. But Vangaziland scored 10 unanswered points before the halftime. A 13 yards pass by Josh Depzman to Parker Vangaard midway in the 2nd quarter and a 51 yards field goal with no time left on the clock. The score was 17-7 Vangaziland at the halftime.

Terre Septentrionale started off the 3rd quarter with the ball and made a 26 yards field goal on their first drive. 17-10 vangaziland. On their next drive, Vangaziland was stopped at the 48 yards line in Terre Septentrionale territory. Punter Antonio Herrera punted the ball and it goes out of bounds at the 3 yards line. A perfect punt! On a first and 10 at their own 3 yards line, Montavious McBryde ran for just one yard. On a 2nd and 9, Hayliee Woo was sacked into the endzone by defensive end Matt Ivarssen for a safety and the score was 19-10 Vangaziland. On their next drive, Vangaziland added 7 more points when Norton Lind caught Josh Depzman's 7 yards pass into the endzone and the score was 26-10 Vangaziland. Late in the 4th quarter, Haylie Woo passed to Jennfier Killebrew for a 26 yards touchdown but it was too late, Vangaziland won 26-17.

Terre Septentrionale   0   7   3   7  -  17
Vangaziland            7  10   9   0  -  26

BOXSCORE

1ST QUARTER
11:39 - Touchdown by Benny Banks (18 yards pass from Josh Depzman). Extra point by Alena Jarosova.

2ND QUARTER
12:20 - Touchdown by Montavious McBryde (4 yards run). Extra point by Crockett Burkhead.
8:42 - Touchdown by Parker Vangaard (13 yards pass from Josh Depzman). Extra point by Alena Jarosova.
0:00 - Field Goal by Alena Jarosova (51 yards).

3RD QUARTER
10:31 - Field Goal by Crockett Burkhead (26 yards).
6:49 - Safety by Matt Ivarssen
3:20 - Touchdown by Norton Lind (7 yards pass from Josh Depzman). Extra point by Alena Jarosova.

4TH QUARTER
5:25 - Touchdown by Jennifer Killebrew (26 yards pass from Haylie Woo). Extra point by Crockett Burkhead.

Playoffs hopes

With this loss against Vangaziland, Terre Septentrionale's playoffs hopes are gone. Unless the Reprezentacja Nordycki beats Drawkland, which is very unlikely. Thanks to a stupid format, Terre Septentrionale could go back home very soon. 5 games and bye bye. Sarzonia were right for pulling out of this World Bowl.

Logan McPhee,
La tribune Septentrionale

[Cardo]

Cardo Sports Channel - Live Coverage

"Welcome to the CSC Sports Minute, I'm your host Andre Shleff. Three games into the World Bowl run, the Newtown Chancellors have gone an impressive 2-1, recently starting a hot streak of two straight wins, both by comfortable margins. The star of the bowl run so far has been veteran QB Josh Fedrickson, as he's amassed over 500 throwing yards in three games. On the defensive side, linebacker Caleb Carol has turned in 5 sacks and 10 tackles, leading the relatively powerful Chancellor defense to two victories.

This sports minute, lets play particular attention the the most impressive victory the franchise has seen thus far: the 45-30 victory over the 9th ranked Transmondian Commonwealth of New England. For the majority of the game, the two teams traded blows, back to back touchdowns. The games turn came on this play, a full dogs blitz. Here, you see the cornerbacks playing the receivers deep, seemingly prepping for the blitz. But then, after an audible, the corners played the receivers closely, signaling man and the linebackers flooded the line of scrimmage. Before we could blink, linebacker Caleb Carol was in the end zone, spearing the opposing teams quarterback.

Once the Chancellors got possession from the safety punt, returner Reggie Evans gained ten yards, giving the Chancellors offense solid field position. The offense lined up in a I back formation, with two wideouts. Here, we see Matt Mathis torch the defender, making a stutter step and b-lining it towards in the end zone. Friedrickson let it fly and he the ball gracefully fell into Mathis' arms. The Chancellors went on to win the game 45-30."

[Vangaziland]

Royals Encourage Opponent, Criticize Negative Media

It was time for another night game in Geattle, Torapa in the Free Republics. Two teams ranked within the top 25 played each other. Vangaziland (17) faced Terre Septentrionale (24) in a battle for second place in FreedomCola Group. "This was a game we couldn't take for granted", said Royals coach Kenton Tillford. "We must play as well as we can against ranked teams, just for a shot at the playoffs." The game marks the midway point of the first leg of the season at game 3 of 10.

Depzman had a big game in the air with 306 yards and three touchdown passes. His usual targets of Vangaard and Banks each walked away with an endzone catch. Coach Tillford called a play which seemed out of the norm for the Vannish offense, as the lithe Norton Lind caught a TD reception off a 7 yard play. It came in the form of a delay, opposite of the team's almost overused playaction form. Vangaziland came out with two backs, both seeming to block for Depzman. By the time Lind broke free, the defense seemed to be all tied up by blocking Royals.

"We have to credit the o-line for that", Lind said after the play. "They gave us time and even held the opening for me after a few moments." Lind sprinted up and through the slightest space after stalling for a few moments in a blocking set. Depzman reacted with a tight pass, moments before LE Eldrick Mcleod spun away from Vannish RT Max Vanderberg. "That was a long hold", Vanderberg said while chuckling. "The guy made his way past. What can I say?"

Lind seemed enthusiastic about the play. "Well, I couldn't quite force my way through in that crowded part of the field", said the HB under a crumpled yellow faux hawk hairstyle. "So coach had to work up something new, know what I mean?"

Vangaziland's defense gave up two touchdowns. Terre Septentrionale was able to punch a TD in through the ground in less than 5 yards. Jennifer Killebrew later dusted veteran CB Dan Skaar of Vangaziland for a 26 yard TD reception. "We got caught sleeping on that play", said strong safety Chris Ingebritson. "We just knew Skaar had that single coverage." Both safeties had been called on a risky blitz play from the backfield. Vangaziland seemed to get cocky off the lack of giving up such a pass play before this moment.

Royals players would later point to both scores as bright spots for their opponent. "They showed a lot of heart", said linebacker Taylor Barnacles. "Their season is far from over." Reports got out in the hours following the game about negative press coverage of the RTS team from a source in their own media.

"I don't think their paper should put them down", Depzman told reporters the morning after the match. "There are still seven games left. We beat them this time, but they moved the ball pretty well against us. All it takes is for us to slip a little and for them to take the edge."

"That would hurt if our own media turned against us", added halfback Taye Poconos. Taye managed 23 yards on short carries, including a crucial 3rd down conversion. "We could say the same about ourselves against tough teams like Drawkland. We haven't shown we can beat a top 5 team yet. Maybe our season is all for naught. But we have to keep digging", he said.

Coach Tillford had a different perspective. "I bet the news will only motivate that team. They still seem to be preparing for Game 4." With a smile he added, "Maybe if we can snag a game from the Drawks, they'll see what's possible." That is still seen to be a big if, with undefeated Drawkland scoring 105 points in 3 games.

"Bring on the big show, baby", Norton Lind said while smoking a suspiciously thin, hand rolled cigar.

[Free Republics]

World Bowl XXXVIII

Don't wait for a miracle. The World Bowl is passing by. The AllMart Group Stage 1 Matchday 4 Cutoff is right now! AllMart: Our Prices are Always Low!

---

Matchday Four Results

AllMart Group
The Greater Nordics 17–23 Lisander
Taeshan 36–9 Lushansk
La Montevideo 7–16 Saint Kanye

  AllMart Group                            Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD 
1 Taeshan                                    4   4  0  151  52 +99
2 Lisander                                   4   2  2   66  70  −4
3 Saint Kanye                                4   2  2  111  67 +44
4 The Greater Nordics                        4   2  2  101 106  −5
5 La Montevideo                              4   1  3   41  89 −48
6 Lushansk                                   4   1  3   43 129 −86

BearOil Group
The Sarian 31–21 East Lemyone
Kaboomlandia 31–45 Nurkama
Geektopia 16–23 Ranoria

  BearOil Group                            Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD 
1 Ranoria                                    4   4  0  154  60 +94
2 Geektopia                                  4   3  1  122  56 +66
3 Nurkama                                    4   3  1  101  87 +14
4 Kaboomlandia                               4   1  3   82 135 −53
5 The Sarian                                 4   1  3   54 102 −48
6 East Lemyone                               4   0  4   67 140 −73

Dixon Light Group
Transmondian Commonwealth of New England 52–35 Cosumar
TJUN-ia 26–29 Smyth
Cardo 10–42 Cassadaigua

  Dixon Light Group                        Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD 
1 Cosumar                                    4   3  1  123  97 +26
2 Cassadaigua                                4   3  1  108  71 +37
3 Cardo                                      4   2  2   85 115 −30
4 Transmondian Commonwealth of New England   4   2  2  141 127 +14
5 Smyth                                      4   1  3   43  70 −27
6 TJUN-ia                                    4   1  3   96 116 −20

Ecumenical Coalition for Morality Group
Pridnestrovia 10–3 Abanhfleft
Inner AginanaUsordia 33–21 Mushroom Kingdoms and Republics
Tomure 9–26 United States of Devonta

  Ecumenical Coalition for Morality Group  Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD 
1 Pridnestrovia                              4   3  1  122  43 +79
2 United States of Devonta                   4   3  1   81  83  −2
3 Inner AginanaUsordia                       4   2  2   92 103 −11
4 Tomure                                     4   2  2   73  90 −17
5 Abanhfleft                                 4   2  2  106  77 +29
6 Mushroom Kingdoms and Republics            4   0  4   70 148 −78

FreedomCola Group
Jaspec 6–42 Vangaziland
Christos 7–7 Terre Septentrionale (27–21 OT)
Drawkland 27–13 Champagne Socialist Sharifistan

  FreedomCola Group                        Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD 
1 Drawkland                                  4   4  0  132  61 +71
2 Vangaziland                                4   3  1  110  54 +56
3 Christos                                   4   2  2   74 107 −33
4 Terre Septentrionale                       4   2  2  102  65 +37
5 Jaspec                                     4   1  3   65 113 −48
6 Champagne Socialist Sharifistan            4   0  4   38 121 −83

Nicholls Enterprises Group
Anthor 31–30 Pius Desurongcrandis
Ko-oren 16–9 Resarkia
Newmanistan 29–13 Karditan

  Nicholls Enterprises Group               Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD 
1 Anthor                                     4   3  1   78  77  +1
2 Newmanistan                                4   3  1   86  75 +11
3 Karditan                                   4   2  2   59  71 −12
4 Ko-oren                                    4   2  2   59  43 +16
5 Pius Desurongcrandis                       4   1  3   68  83 −15
6 Resarkia                                   4   1  3   62  63  −1

O'Reilly Group of Greatness
Bolgano 0–20 Xanneria
St Saratoga 20–29 Banija
Space 23–6 Free Republics

  O'Reilly Group of Greatness              Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD 
1 Free Republics                             4   3  1  104  66 +38
2 Xanneria                                   4   3  1  120  56 +64
3 Banija                                     4   2  2   75  91 −16
4 Bolgano                                    4   2  2   60  56  +4
5 Space                                      4   2  2   65  92 −27
6 St Saratoga                                4   0  4   45 108 −63

Sporting World Group
Equestria 36–6 HUElavia
Hapilopper 0–19 Main Nation Ministry
Ahrida 16–20 Allamunnic States

  Sporting World Group                     Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD 
1 Main Nation Ministry                       4   4  0  127  36 +91
2 Equestria                                  4   3  1  119  68 +51
3 Allamunnic States                          4   3  1  101  82 +19
4 Hapilopper                                 4   1  3   72  82 −10
5 HUElavia                                   4   1  3   52 140 −88
6 Ahrida                                     4   0  4   35  98 −63

Clinched advancement to the Second Group Stage

Notes: The teams listed as advanced are only those that are guaranteed to finish in the top 2 of their groups on win-loss record alone. Cutoff for MD5 will take place on Monday as scheduled. This cutoff may be late but today was a scheduled off day anyway.

[Karditan]

Done with Drawk's blessing.

Sinsinatti Sun

Another Chance at the Golden Bowl
That was quick.

By Jonathan Umadden

The Ironworkers' plaudits from past iterations have been making the media rounds as you'd expect for the momentous occasion of re-entering the World Bowl. The hosting of and second place finish in XX, having the presidency reside within our hallowed halls, and... well that's pretty much it. But one other achievement of (some) note was the fact that we held the Golden Bowl for a few games: an odd tradition some nerds in Drawkland schemed up to provide a constantly-changing 'alternate champion' who often ends up being the real champion anyway. From that line of thought, the Ironworkers' unprecedented upending of defending champs Ko-oren got me thinking--does that nab us the Golden Bowl, in our first tourney back in nearly four decades? So I took it upon myself to update the progression since the last publication, from before WB XXXVI's semifinals.

The at-the-time carriers Drawkland would add one more game to their current carry with their semifinal triumph over Banija, but would end at five games as they got demolished by twenty-one points in the final. As World Bowl XXXVII began Pridnestrovia would start off strong winning a banger of a game 37-44 over Cosumar, before Ko-oren unhanded them after only a two-game run in a much more tame 6-10 match. It'd prove to be a bad time for home teams holding the bowl, as Ko-oren would immediately lose it as they hosted Cosumar. Back to Pridnestrovia the next matchday, and this time the defending champs would get on a real run: wins over Ko-oren, Newmanistan, Tæshan, Velstrania, an OT nailbaiter with South Covello, and Taeshan again would build up a strong string of 7. Deep into the second group stage now, Velstrania would upend them just in time to get popped by Taeshan on the final day. So it'd be the Taeshani who'd carry the bowl into the knockouts this edition.

Oh hey, look at that. Taeshan was drawn against Drawkland. What do you think will happen? So Drawkland loses to Ko-oren in the next round, and with that the Ko-orenites run away to the title to finish that tournament with a three-game streak. Come the current tourney, the Ironworkers are drawn into the same group as Ko-oren and immediately Golden Bowl alarms start ringing. But of course, we weren't the first team to beat Ko-oren recently: after the Dragonflies cleaned up Anthor, they found themselves narrowly bested by Newmanistan before we could get a crack at the Golden Bowl ourselves. And then Newmanistan went and lost to Anthor to hyuk it up immediately. The last matchday saw Anthor barely keep ahold of it with a butt-clenching 31-30 victory over Pius Desurongcrandis, which means the MD5 meeting between them and our own Ironworkers are truly for all the marbles--both to determine who advances out of this first group stage, and who takes the Golden Bowl forward in the tourney.

For reference's sake, here's a more succinct summary of the progression as it stands:
XXXVI
Drawkland (3)
Ranoria (5)
Drawkland (5)
Pridnestrovia (1)

XXXVII
Pridnestrovia (1)
Ko-oren (1)
Cosumar (1)
Pridnestrovia (7)
Velstrania (1)
Taeshan (1)
Drawkland (1)
Ko-oren (3)

XXXVIII (In progress)
Ko-oren (1)
Newmanistan (1)
Anthor (2)

[Newmanistan]

THE ROCKET REPORT

FIELD GOALS RULE THE DAY OVER KARDITAN

by Taylor Larson,

Kicker Michael Krizman continues to be the hero of this team. Fortunately, after four games he has still not missed a kick during this competition, so we can at least rely on him to nail the big one. Like most kickers, he quietly goes about his job, chatting with punter Matty Gray, or backup kicker Justin Morris, who joins the team for the first time. Krizman joked that he might allow Morris to take a kick in one of these games, but we know that will never come to fruition as long as Krizman is healthy. He will be, because the 36-year old member of the Centralia Firebirds has not missed a game due to an injury in the last twelve years.

It really is a tough position if you think about it. Not tough as in, physically tough, but there is very little in the way of fame for a kicker. In a way, they are like meteorologists, you only talk about them when they are wrong (or miss), and never acknowledge of give them their rightful props when they are right. “They’re supposed to make the kick, it’s what they are paid for.” is what happens when someone like Krizman nails a 41 yard FG. However, if a RB evades four or five tackles en route to a 25 yard score, we talk about his great individual ability. Well, isn’t he supposed to do that? It’s what he is paid for. In reality, kickers don’t get respect for making the routine kicks over a course of a game not because we disrespect their skill, but the field goal represents failure, in a way. A failure to get a first down when you needed it, stalling a drive, making you forget about the six points and settling for three. So unless he’s lining up what you know is a tough kick due to distance, or it’s with just a few seconds to go, the kick is a routine one with the backdrop of it salvaging something, in this case the three points. When that gets missed, fans get pissed. They’re pissed at the kicker, but chances are they were annoyed by the stalled drive that led to the kick in the first place. Now, you’re not salvaging three, you’re getting nothing. It’s pretty much a fumble recovered by the defense, given they get the ball at the spot.

At 36, Michael Krizman is used to not getting that much fame. In the game against Karditan, he was the only player who scored in the 1st quarter, hitting from 33 and 28 yards when the playcalling of Marvin Dineen led to two drives stalling. His contemporary, Karidtan’s kicker made it 6-3 in the second quarter, then Krizman hit from 45 to make it 9-3 midway through the second quarter. Late in the first half, Newmanistan got a defensive touchdown when Alejandro Booker picked off the Karditan passer, and took it 40 yards for the score to make it 16-3, giving the Rockets a nice lead even though the offense once again could not find the end zone.

To start the second half, Karditan’s kicker connected from 47 to make it 16-6, continuing the field goal fest, and Krizman responded with a 32 yarder on the Rockets next possession to restore the thirteen point advantage, making it 19-6. After the Rockets contained their opposition, the offense marched downfield, and actually punched it into the end zone. The play that was the determining factor was a stunning one handed grab on the sidelines by Saquon Chapman, which is what will be on all the highlight films, instead of his dropped pass on 3rd and 6 in the second quarter that led to Krizman’s third field goal. The scoring play was a two yard touchdown run by Thomas Browning, who for the game managed 91 yards on 20 carries. The Rockets added to the lead with Krizman’s fifth of the game with 14:05 left in the fourth quarter, making it 29-6, and leaving the team comfortably ahead. Karditan did get a touchdown in garbage time to make the final 29-13. Great work by the Rockets defense, and for Krizman to make the kicks that he is supposed to make.

With the win, Newmanistan improves to 3-1 with just Resarkia remaining in this group stage. Karditan vs Anthor and Ko-oren vs Pius D are the other group games.

[Ranoria]

In a Tight Win Over Geektopia, Ranorian Squad Shows Defensive Capability

While Derek McNair has been the Star so far, the offense failed to put up its upper echelon of point totals this week in their game against a previously 3-0 Geektopia. McNair, who had entered the contest on a hot streak, finished the game just 17/27 for 187 yards, one score, and one interception. With a run game that has proven less than ideal so far despite strong blocking, that was a recipe for disaster, but the defense managed to show up in the right moment.

After starting hot with a pair of scores in the first quarter, the Ranorian team stalled heavily afterwards, managing three field goals throughout the rest of the game. McNair, in particular, will receive criticism for an interception at the seven yard line on third and goal, which nearly cost the team the game, although the play call itself was questionable, with only four minutes remaining.

Regardless, it gave Geektopia, down 7 in the fourth quarter, a chance to go down and score to tie, or win, the football game. They milked the clock well, getting it down to one minute remaining before dropping back on a play action pass. Defensive end Jarrett Hauptmann, who, if anything, is a liability in the run game, didn’t even pretend to try and play the handoff, going straight for the quarterback, nearly unblocked. While he’s been burnt on such guesswork before, it proved pivotal with a strip sack that effectively sealed this one after a Ross Monarch fumble recovery.

Sitting pretty at 4-0, this team is in the driver’s seat to advance to the next round.

That said, the nation is catching on much earlier than last season to the entertainment of this tournament. Where last year saw Ranorian viewers not paying attention until the knock out stages, this World Bowl is already garnering national attention. And why not? After jumping out to a 4-0 start with several dominating performances, who wouldn’t want to cheer on Ranorian players against tough international competition, and feel a sense of pride with each victory?

With this being the case, speculation points to a much higher budget in next year’s world bowl squad. As such, rather than having Derek McNair the team on his back, it’s likely that the team will be able to take a more balanced approach, and rely on all stars on both sides of the football to win contests. Rumor has it that negotiations are already underway with defensive backs Judas Wolfson and Davon Stovall, along with defensive linemen Emmanuel’s Miller, Deangelo Gordon, and Angelo Gordon. So while this current roster certainly is not bereft of talent, it may sport much more depth next season and prove ready to obliterate any opponent in its path.

[Banija]

What went wrong? Stunning early elimination from World Bowl XXXVIII means a reckoning for quite a few in the Banijan gridiron community


A Banijan player lays face down on the field after the Serpent Eagles stunning loss to Xanneria to eliminate them from the World Bowl after just 2 games

FREE REPUBLICS- There were high expectations for the Serpent Eagles of Banija, entering World Bowl XXXVIII. Everyone knows how close this team has been in the past- from the three consecutive semifinal losses from World Bowls 29-31, to the semifinal loss in World Bowl XXXVI in Ko-oren and the quarterfinal loss, on home soil, to Ranoria the last time around. This team has always been close, but no cigar, with bringing the World Bowl title to Banija for the first time ever. But they have always been expected to go out and compete, and in this World Bowl, even with its tough format, the Banijans were expected to go out and make yet another deep run. And there's reason to believe that this team has enough talent to do so. We've been strong in the past in this tournament, even if we've never yet to even appear in a World Bowl championship game. We've had two different universities combine for three NSCF titles, and one of either Loyola-Istria or Northern Moravica has played in the past four NSCF title games. As for the Champions Bowl, the Istria Black Mambas actually won the last Champions Bowl, so we are competitive on the professional level as well. There is passion for the game in this country, and talent everywhere- we should be capable of being in that discussion at most tournaments.

And yet, at this tournament, this team was just bad. It was a shocking performance, all-around. This might be Banija's worst performance since World Bowl XXXIV- though at least, in that tournament, we ended the group stages on an absolute tear, even if we didn't win them. If you look back at it, this might be Banija's worst World Bowl performance since World Bowl 27, in terms of the level of expectation that people had for this team, and their distinct failure to not get anywhere close to that expectation. The warning signs were all along the wall in World Bowl XXXVII that this team simply was not that good anymore. Don't get us wrong- the Serpent Eagles deserved their run to the semifinals of World Bowl XXXVI, defeating excellent teams in that tournament like the Main Nation Ministry, and host nation Ko-oren, in order to get a bronze medal. But then this team, even though they did make their run to the quarterfinals of the last World Bowl, honestly looked pretty off then.

The Nations League format was much more forgiving for the national team last time around, who were eventually able to figure it all out and get to the knockout stages. But man, those first six games in League A were brutal. The Serpent Eagles went 1-5. Competing against the best, and very clearly and obviously a large step behind all of those teams. A 39 point home loss to Velstrania? And then, in the rematch, losing by 41 away from home? It was bad, this team was bad, and yet, they struggled forward. The warning signs were there that even the progress they made last time around was simply not quality. They had a shock loss away from home to Equestria, a nation that traditionally does not do much in gridiron but is a fierce rival of Banija in most sports, though especially on the pitch. They couldn't even win their group in League B, although a deserving Ranoria side won that group, and they needed to go to a playoff, playing a road play-in game, where they downed Vangaziland on a very late touchdown to get to the knockout stages. The quarterfinal elimination against Ranoria seemed fair.

But although the team seemed off, nobody really called for a major overhaul then. They still managed to get to the quarterfinals, while struggling their way to that point for basically the entire tournament. But all the wheels came off at this tournament. Their opening game was a challenging one, and it was always going to be- playing against the Free Republics in the tournament's opening game, in the Free Republics? The 3rd ranked host nation? That's not a game where we'd be betting favorites, or have a decent win probability, and that was very much true. We didn't win, falling 35-16. But honestly, that scoreline was pretty flattering to the Serpent Eagles. There's no way around what happened in that game- we got our asses kicked, plain and simple, by the host nation. It wasn't even close. We were down 35-0 by the time the fourth quarter started. Isaka Jawara had three interceptions and got benched in the fourth quarter. We scored a pair of garbage time touchdowns and 2 point conversions against the Republican second and third stringers on defense. It was awful.

This team consistently getting dominated by good teams across the last two World Bowls- not just losing, but getting crushed, getting dominated, just shows how far we have to go if we ever want to achieve our dreams of getting back to, and actually winning, a World Bowl semifinal. Will that ever happen? Seems unlikely at this point. And honestly, things just went from bad to worse. The offense was supposed to be the strength of this team- they were supposed to be able to get a lot of points from the offense. But not enough squad competition for spots? Too much reliance on the old roster? Whatever it was, it's been bad, and this team has, frankly, looked like garbage. They squeaked out a 13-9 win against BOLGANO on Matchday 2, and that's when many observers of this team knew- this team might be sent home early. Those first two games threw out any illusions fans had of a trip to the third and final stage of this tournament, but it even seemed likely they'd get eliminated sooner than that. No disrespect, but needing a last second drive to beat an unranked BOLGANO, while only scoring 13 points, won't inspire any confidence.

And then, it all showed against Xanneria. The Pot 2 and Pot 3 sides, with both teams having already lost to the Free Republics, it was clear that this would go a long way in determining who would advance to the second round. And the Serpent Eagles got dominated. It was a strange game. The offense was disjointed, and they couldn't really move the ball consistently. They had explosiveness- both touchdowns were over 50 yards- but without being able to sustain drives, Xanneria's offense just wore Banija's defense down across the course of the game. And with that loss, the Banijans were effectively eliminated from the World Bowl. After just three games, as well. An absolutely stunning series of events for the Serpent Eagles.

Mathematically, this was the day the Banijans were eliminated, with Xanneria's 3rd win putting them into the next round ahead of the Free Republics. And a shocker it was. Ousman Kaba, the Executive Chairman of the Olympic Committee of Banija, was disappointed. "The gridiron division has to take a long and hard look at themselves." He said. "There is a standard of excellence when it comes to Banijan gridiron, and this side, decisively, has not met it. We will certainly be conducting a thorough evaluation of what went wrong here, and what to do to ensure that we can eventually get back to where Banijan football belongs- among the best teams in the multiverse." The reveberations will be felt. Alastair Jobs, the longtime celebrated Loyola-Istria coach who won a pair of NSCF titles and led the national team to the World Bowl XXXVI Semifinals, announced his resignation after the St. Saratoga loss, effective after their final group stage game. Ezekiel Daniachew, the last coach of the national who headed the football division of the OCB, also resigned, though his was effective immediately.

The heads have already started rolling. More heads will roll. And questions will be asked of players. Will Jawara be able to live up to the hype he created for himself at the NSCF ranks? What's wrong with the team's building strategy? There will have to be a complete reset, from top to bottom, to figure out how to get this national team back to being competitive again.

[Ko-oren]

Frustration mounts as the Dragonflies' fate is relegated to other teams' results. The Banijans have already accepted their destiny for this World Bowl, which looks to give some new and rising teams the chance to climb the ladder a little. That said, most of the regular suspects occupy spots atop their groups, all except Abanhfleft, Ko-oren, and Banija. All three are on a 2-2 record, with a decent chance to turn that into a winning record at the last moment, but all of these teams were ready for a 5-0 or 4-1 group stage, comfortably advancing.

Attention is already shifting to other sports and tournaments, as it always is in Ko-oren. You'd almost mark the passage of time by a matchround, a kickoff, the start of a World Cup, Bowl, Classic, or otherwise, rather than using dates, times, weeks, months, etcetera. The World Bowl is barely over and the Champions' Bowl is already coming up - the Multiverse's prime gridiron club competition. The domestic season kicks off not long after, and there's your near year-round gridiron fix. The Field Hockey World Cup is also upon us, a much closer affair than the inopportune kickoff times of the Free Republics. That tournament is played in our very own Intermare, across the entire subdivision. And before we forget about even more gridiron, the NSCF is here soon as well, featuring what is basically an under-23 national team in the Salamantic Professors. The purple outfit surprised friend and foe in their first season, showing they can go toe-to-toe against Banija's massive programmes - but given last year's graduates, only a handful can go straight into the Top League. Several drop into the second division, while most quit the sport once they finally have their degree.

Before we turn to the future, there's still a little left of the present. What needs to happen for the Dragonflies to survive for a few more days?

- Ko-oren (2-2) plays Pius Desurongcrandis (1-3, eliminated)

With a loss, the Dragonflies are out of the tournament. That means that the only timeline that's of any value to us is the one where the Green and Blue wins over Pius Desurongcrandis.

- Newmanistan (3-1) plays Resarkia (1-3, eliminated)

If Resarkia wins, we pull up next to Newmanistan at 3-2. We'd lose the H2H against them (having lost 14-17 in the second round). If Newmanistan wins, they will qualify for the next round - so it seems that whatever happens in this game, it doesn't matter, and we will have to hope for second place.

- Karditan (2-2) plays Anthor (3-1)

This one is probably the most interesting to us. If Anthor wins, we can never overtake their 4-1 record, and we will be out. If Karditan wins, both teams involved in this one go to 3-2. The H2H between Karditan, Anthor, and Ko-oren is as follows:

Karditan 14–9 Ko-oren
Ko-oren 20–3 Anthor
Which means that we need Anthor to win by a small margin to win the overall H2H - and then they will be 4-1 and we're out. If Karditan wins, they'll be 2-0 against the 3-2 posse, and we're out as well.

But what if Newmanistan loses, and Karditan wins? Then there is a four-way tie for the group, and the H2H looks like this:

Newmanistan 29–13 Karditan
Newmanistan 20–34 Anthor
Karditan 14–9 Ko-oren
Ko-oren 14–17 Newmanistan
Ko-oren 20–3 Anthor

And this is the corresponding table:
Newmanistan: 2-1 (+5)
Karditan: 1-1 (-11)
Anthor: 1-1 (-3)
Ko-oren: 1-2 (+9)
Which paints a bleaker picture, where we've got the worse record as at least two teams will be 2-1. Even if we have the best point differential out of the four, with a 1-2 record against the other three contenders, we're out.

Lastly, what if Newmanistan loses, and Anthor wins? Then Anthor advance with a superior 4-1 record, gives Karditan a 2-3 losing record, and puts Newmanistan and Ko-oren both at 3-2... and then we lose the H2H, given that pesky 14-17 loss.

Well, see you next year. Or we missed something. That must be it.

[The Transmondian Commonwealth]

Before the World Bowl, Rubble States...

Ari and Melissa were driving down I-93 in a hover van. The van was registered in Ari's name, but Melissa was driving because she knew her way around better and GPS didn't work in the Rubble States. Ari watched the cracked pavement sliding by under the van. "I'm glad you talked me into getting the hover van," he said. "This would be awful to drive on with wheels."

Melissa smiled. "I'm glad you agreed to do this with me," she said. She was wearing make-up and hair-spray and starchy clothes, the same way she had dressed for work at the TV studio in Chrome Manchester. It wasn't expected in this world, and definitely not at a family dinner, but she had insisted on dressing up anyway. Maybe it was force of habit. Maybe she was afraid to get too comfortable coming back home. She had worked hard to get out, paying the portal fees to go to the Chrome States and building a new life there from the ground up. Maybe the make-up was her way of bringing home a little piece of that life.

Ari was wearing a hand-knitted sweater that he'd bought from a nice lady in Rubble Manchester. Melissa had been teasing him about "going native" because he couldn't say no to the locals when they came around peddling comfort food and home-made crafts.

The signs along the side of the interstate were a mix of old and new -- old billboards with printed advertisements that were starting to fade and peel, newer ones that were hand painted with much less precision, old exit signs with silvery letters on reflective green backgrounds, and newer ones scrawled on wooden boards in black and white paint. As Ari and Melissa got closer to Boston, they started seeing the newest kind of signs, projected on holographic screens imported from some other world. There were some underdeveloped worlds where the locals feared modern technology and people would complain if the Transmondian government put up holographic road signs -- but the Rubble States weren't like that. They'd once had a modern civilization of their own, they revered the technological advancement of the past, and now that they had joined the Commonwealth, they were eager to rebuild.

Boston didn't have much of a skyline. Whatever had ruined the Rubble States, it had knocked down all the skyscrapers and put Back Bay back underwater. But Ari and Melissa weren't going all the way into Boston. They were going to visit Melissa's parents in Cambridge.

Melissa's mother heard the van pulling up and came out to greet them before they'd even reached the door. She hugged them both, and babbled cheerfully: "Melissa! Oh my God, I haven't seen you for so long, I hardly recognize you with all that make-up! You really should come to visit more often! And you must be Ari... It's so nice to meet you! Melissa tells me you're a very nice young man!"

They went inside, where huge servings of smoked turkey, freshly baked brown bread, corn, beans, potatoes, and sauteed fiddlehead ferns were laid out on a big wooden dining table. The walls looked like something out of an exhibit on the colonial era and table was surrounded by mismatched chairs, but the food and the conversation were pleasant. Melissa's parents thought Ari was a keeper. After all, he'd agreed to come back to the Rubble States with her. They'd been talking and eating for several hours when the lights began to dim and everyone looked up.

"Oh, dear, the lights are going...," Melissa's father said. "We're not connected to the power grid yet, so we're still using solar."

During the New England vs. Cardo game...

Samuel Hudson was running diagonally up the field, trying to get free of the defenders and create an opening for a pass. He was veering toward the sidelines, but Jones thought he could make the pass before Hudson ran out of bounds. Jones threw the ball. Hudson caught it close to the line and then stumbled into the sidelines. The ref called the pass incomplete because he said Hudson was out of bounds. Hudson tore his helmet off and loudly protested that he had caught the ball before going out of bounds. John Tyng told Hudson to back off and let him handle it. The ref refused to review the call. Tyng became agitated and grabbed a camera from a kid who was filming for RRTV. "Hey, my camera!" the kid protested.

"I'll show you, he wasn't out of bounds!" Tyng was yelling at the ref as he fiddled with the camera trying to find the footage he wanted. "Look! See? He caught the ball before he went out of bounds! It's a first down!"

"I told you we don't do instant replays here!" the ref insisted.

"Just look at the video!"

The ref insisted that the pass was incomplete and Tyng needed to back off, but Tyng kept arguing until he got thrown out of the game. Tyng smashed the camera on the ground in his frustration, and the RRTV cameraman let out a distressed yelp. And that was when Tyng realized he was making an ass of himself. "Aw, I'm sorry kid," he said. "I'll buy you a new camera. I'm sorry about that."

"But what about the game?" the cameraman asked, still very distressed.

"Try to fix the camera and keep filming," his boss said. There was an angry edge to her voice, but she was doing her best to keep her cool and think practically. She hobbled over and knelt down to pick up the camera and put it back together as much as she could, popping the battery pack and the memory card back into place, and adjusting the cracked screen. She didn't look like she belonged on a football field, even as a member of the press. She was wearing way too much make-up and hairspray and she could barely move in her high heels and tight skirt. "See?
It's still working. It's just the screen that's cracked. But I'm going to kick Tyng's ass if he doesn't get you a new one!"

[Saint Kanye]

WORLD BOWL: SURGE PLAYOFF WINDOW OPENS A LITTLE WITH 16-7 WIN OVER LA MONTEVIDEO

by Chuck Duncan

PEROXIA, JOLARUS - The Kanyean national gridiron team has just won over its Montevideoan counterpart in a low-scoring affair, 16-7, to keep its hopes of advancing to the next round of the thirty-eighth World Bowl alive.

The Surge, as the Kanyeans are known, return to Papa Joe's Crusader Stadium here in the Free Republics, site of their first two games in the tournament. It was an ugly game for both their and the Montevideoans' offenses, as neither were able to put up a score. La Montevideo's seven points came off a 74-yard kickoff return at the start of the game. Yeezie kicker James Rasputin put up a field goal in each of the first three quarters. The Montevideoans actually came close to scoring with their O in the fourth, as their secondary wide receiver was able to break free for a long reception only to be stopped inside St. Kanye's 20. But Surge cornerback Aidan O'Connor intercepted the opposing quarterback's pass intended for the tight end, and ran all the way back for a pick six.

Even despite the win, Kanyean head mentor Jeff Delphine wasn't happy with how the team played. He told the Kibitzer, "We came out looking flat today. It's just our opponents didn't do much better either. We can't expect that to happen in our next game, as we're facing a ranked opponent yet again, the Greater Nordics, and the number twenty team in the world at that. Well, the Nordics have a similar style to us, pass happy and blitz happy, so it should be an interesting game. There's the playoff implications too. We gotta fight to stay alive in our first World Bowl outing, so we'll give it our best."

St. Kanye improved to 2-2 in the six-team AllMart Group, tied with their next opponents as well as Lisander, who beat them 30-20 on the second day of the tournament. The Surge have to win and hope Lisander loses to La Montevideo in order to get second place in the group (the 4-0 Taeshan Fitin' Falcons are already assured of a place in the Round of 16). The Montevideoans fall to 1-3 and out of the running, no matter what happens in the other games. Play shifts to yet another venue here in Jolarus state, the Armed Forces Stadium. The Surge will wear their primary home uniforms of all purple.

---

Scoring Information:

LMV - KR 74 kickoff return (Kicker kick) LMV 7-0
STK - field goal Rasputin 46 LMV 7-3

STK - field goal Rasputin 55 LMV 7-6

STK - field goal Rasputin 40 STK 9-7

STK - O'Connor 87 interception return (Rasputin kick) STK 16-7

Schedule:

Matchday 1: W 54-3 vs. Lushansk (UR*) @ Papa Joe's Crusader Stadium, Peroxia, Jolarus
Matchday 2: L 20-30 vs. Lisander (32) @ Papa Joe's Crusader Stadium, Peroxia, Jolarus
Matchday 3: L 21-27 vs. Taeshan (7) @ AllMart Dome, Reco, Jolarus
Matchday 4: W 16-7 vs. La Montevideo (UR) @ Papa Joe's Crusader Stadium, Peroxia, Jolarus
BREAK
Matchday 5: Purple/Purple vs. The Greater Nordics (20) @ Armed Forces Stadium, Peroxia, Jolarus

*Unranked.

[Inner AginanaUsordia]

Welcome to this weekend's edition of SportsCast, Inner AginanaUsordia's number one sports podcast. I'm your host, Jamir Velasquez, and with me today are the stars of the Inner AginanaUsordia Lions, Ryan Kasor, Davo Konelle, Nils De Bren, Eric Mainwaring, and Micalov Monthly sportswriter Chad Rozelle.
Velasquez: Hello, all of you. Thanks for making it here with us.
Kasor: It's a pleasure to be here.
Konelle: Same, thanks for having us.
Velasquez: Yesterday's victory brought the Inner AginanaUsordia Lions seemed good! How do you feel your team performed?
Kasor: Other than Knight's blocked extra point, we did really well. Our secondary is still losing out on the big plays they allowed to Mushroom Kingdoms and Republics. They scored all three touchdowns on passing plays longer than 25 yards.
De Bren: The D-Line has been working on getting faster, but the Toad Offensive Line was able to keep us back long enough for their Quarterback to throw it deep.
Rozelle: Mainwaring, how does it feel to be promoted to starter?
Mainwaring: I mean, it's nice... I feel like Marion is a very skilled and experienced kicker, he has more championship bands than any other active player, right?
Rozelle: Yes.
Mainwaring: He is a better player than me, but he let his nerves get to him. He's missed a few in this tournament so far, and I haven't... but it's only a matter of time before it's my turn. I just want to finish this tourney out strong.
Konelle: Same. It's really an honor to be able to play at this high of a level.
Kasor: Nine touchdowns in four games is great.
De Bren: Statistically, this tournament has been excellent so far, excluding the steamroller that was Pridnestrovia.
Velasquez: Do you all feel like you are more of a solid team now? I'm sure you will be able to remember your rivalries once the season starts again.
Mainwaring: Yes, we have really forged new bonds together. We'll probably remember the rivalries.
Kasor: I hope so! *chuckles*
Rozelle: Can you explain your gameplan for later today?
Kasor: Sure. The Abanhfleft team has done alright so far, losing by a touchdown to Tomure and Pridnestrovia but beating United States of Devonta and Mushroom Kingdoms and Republics by large enough margins to have the second most points scored in our group. Their team looks interesting, to say the least. Our d-line outsizes their o-line by about 84 pounds and 8 cm on average, but weight isn't everything in football. It will be a test to see how well our line can pressure their quarterback.
De Bren: If we can't, it will honestly be an embarrassment.
Konelle: They have a really solid defense, though. They held Pridnestrovia and the United States of Devonta to 23 total points. We are gonna have to work hard for every point we get, but I trust our team's abilities.
Mainwaring: They don't seem susceptible to any type of scoring either. They've allowed 7 field goals and 8 touchdowns.
Rozelle: Do you think you will win?
Kasor: Yes, it will be a defensive battle, but it should go in our favor. I have faith.
Velasquez: Now, on to a less appealing topic. You say you are unable to move past the group stage for the Ecumenical Coalition for Morality. What caused you to be eliminated?
Kasor: It's complicated, but because Pridnestrovia and the United States of Devonta won, we couldn't be seeded higher than them. Unless we had beaten either one when we played them, that is... but it's been a good run. We have one more game to stick it to Abanhfleft, so let's do it. Thanks again. Alright, Lions on three, one,
All: two, Three, LIONS!

[Drawkland]

WATERMAN'S LAST RIDE
Written By: Abraham Osta and Buck Peterson

---

Drawkian fans have been crushed with the recent announcement from longtime quarterback Dak Waterman. While foreign World Bowl fans may not recognize the name immediately, Waterman has been synonymous with Drawkland for those that know the Corps.

Since Drawkland's very first excursion in the World Bowl (edition XXVIII in the Royal Kingdom of Quebec), Waterman has been at the helm of the Grid Corps as quarterback. When the team was formed he was a second-year player in the GLD, but he was quickly rising to meteoric fame as the QB of the Drawk Corps (unrelated to the Grid Corps). He had won the MVP with the Corps that year before the Bowl, and had won the college MVP award two years prior at DCU. While he's definitely a pocket passer, his ability to work outside of the pocket and even run for short gains always threw off defenses. He was the obvious choice to take the mantle for the multiversal stage.

Now, two rings and ten Bowls later, Waterman has decided to hang it up. He'll still be starting and playing the first halves of every game, but most of the focus will now be on the young sensation Dustin Beck, the presumptive new starter for the Grid Corps after this Bowl concludes. He's been decent the past few Bowls, and helped lead the Corps to a championship when Waterman was injured in World Bowl XXXV. For this Bowl though, we'll all be cheering on Dak extra hard as he hopefully helps bring the Corps to the promised land again.

Waterman hasn't yet confirmed whether he'll be retiring from domestic play soon, but with this retirement we can assume he'll soon be on the way out. As far as the Grid Corps is concerned, we'll likely be in good hands with the now-experienced Beck becoming the new primary signalcaller, and the now-veteran presence of Jack Hoy leading the backfield.

WORLD BOWL XXXVIII
Let's return to the news at hand of the current edition of the World Bowl! Once again, the Federation of Free Republics are hosting, and once again, they're hosting with an interesting format. Some may remember the last time they hosted with an interesting format was World Bowl XXXI, where Drawkland won 16 straight games by acing the group stage. Unfortunately, they fell short of a championship by losing to Banija in the quarterfinals, but by all means it was a successful campaign. The main format difference lied in the group stage - teams were divided into groups, and groups divided into conferences. Teams would play their groupmates twice, and their non-group conferencemates once.

The XXXI format was, for all intents and purposes, pretty normal. Besides the group stage scheduling, it wasn't very different from a standard tournament as far as playoffs are concerned. This World Bowl has been a totally different ballgame, so to speak. Teams have been divided into eight groups of six, with the top teams qualifying not to a playoff, but to a second group stage. We've seen this before in other tournaments, and even something similar in the recent Banijan-hosted Bowl.

This second round is brutal, however. After the single round-robin (a five-game schedule), two thirds of the field is eliminated. A short season is not going to have many teams happy, but for the more elite squads it's simply another minor challenge approaching the second round. The second tier is four groups of four, a single round robin that World Cup fans may find familiar. However, this is even more of an intense battle, as only the top team in each group qualifies for the final playoff, a 4-team double-elimination knockout round.

This far into the season it's hard to say who has a real chance at making it to the promised land, but things will become much clearer once the first round ends and the second round groups are drawn. One thing is certain ... it's gonna be a rough ride for everyone in this Bowl. A miracle run is incredibly unlikely.

Our campaign is off to a good start, as we were the first team to secure qualification to the second round with a 4-0 start. Oops, spoilers! Let's look at how we performed up to this point.

We were placed in the FreedomCola Group, alongside unknown nations such as Christos, Jaspec, and Champagne Socialist Sharifstan. Some more familiar names are present as well, such as Terre Septentrionale (the new incarnation of the Alpine Union), and Vangaziland. This was a rather lucky draw for our 4th-ranked squad, as the Pot 2 nation Vangaziland is only ranked #17 going into this Bowl. With Drawkland being the Pot 1 team, all of our games except one are held in the Googolplex, a 109k-seater that many Drawkian fans would feel comfortable in.

vs VANGAZILAND
Our campaign started against our only big challenge in the group, that of Vangaziland. The game certainly looked like it was going to be a bigger challenge than it seemed as the Royals marched up the field to score on their first drive. The Corps defense was delivering big hits the whole drive, and it only got worse as the game progressed for the Royals offense. Josh Depzman hit Jaykaye Sadler with a play-action pass on third and goal to score a touchdown, but unfortunately for the Royals that would be their only TD of the game.

The Corps didn't have a great game on offense themselves, with neither QB throwing a passing touchdown. The Corps also had a single touchdown, that from a 30-yard run by Jack Hoy in the second quarter. The teams traded field goals for the rest of the game, until Matthew Watts netted one just inside five minutes. The Royals drove down the field to try and tie or win, but ultimately fell short after a huge tackle for loss and incomplete pass, holding Vangaziland out of field goal range.

It was not the best day for the Drawkian offense, but the defense showed out and did their job, picking up two interceptions along the way. Despite the ugly 19-16 victory, it was crucial for the campaign to beat the Pot 2 team on Day 1.

vs CHRISTOS
For the second matchday, the Grid Corps was determined to improve their performance from the last game. A win is a win, but the offense was not looking too hot, and if the Corps expects to potentially win a championship, the team needs to be firing on all cylinders. Unfortunately for the unranked and new-to-the-Bowl Christos, this is when the Corps decided to work out the kinks.

The Emperors put up a valiant first effort, driving down into field goal range and managing to come away with a field goal. Their luck ran out quickly though, as they couldn't manage to score for the next two quarters. Meanwhile, the Grid Corps offense proved that they were still a Top 5 threat, coming away with 3 passing touchdowns and a two-point conversion from Waterman in the first half. Dustin Beck threw an interception which led to a Christos field goal early in the third quarter, but made up for it by tossing a touchdown to Jack Hoy and contributing another on the ground.

Matthew Watts contributed to the score with a field goal late in the fourth quarter, bringing it to 6-46. Christos were not done yet though, and they still wanted points at least for pride. They took advantage of the soft garbage time defense the Corps was deploying, and Roger Bryant managed to fit a pass to Caleb Toth in the end zone with 20 seconds left on the clock. They attempted a two point conversion, but the rush by Lamar Beckham failed and the game ended soon after with the 12-46 scoreline. Another win for Drawkland was in the books; one with a much more convincing margin.

vs JASPEC
Jaspec, similar to Christos, was the recipient of a Grid Corps continuing to gain momentum. Jaspec was also suffering from the fact that they were still adjusting to a different code of gridiron. Their domestic ball is played with fewer downs and a larger field, so playing any team on the international level was challenging, much less the two-time champion #4 ranked squad. If there was any silver lining, the Grid Corps were slightly disadvantaged at having to play in a new venue for the first time, FreedomCola Stadium. Jaspec had played in the venue the previous matchday, so thing were at least a little familiar.

The upside was not enough to tamper the downsides though, and Drawkland once again rolled through their opposition with little issue. The defense only allowed a single touchdown (Deschenes to Chambers) once again, along with two field goals in the second half. Jaspec's second touchdown was scored in the third quarter thanks to a fumble by the aging Antonio Anders. Langlais forced the fumble, which was picked up by Mark Kennedy and returned for the touchdown.

The Drawkian offense excelled once again. Waterman passed for two touchdowns, Hoy ran for one (and two 2PC's), and Beck threw one later in the game. Matthew Watts scored a field goal in the waning seconds of the first half, and Jordan Max intercepted Jaspec's Luc Deschenes for a pick six on the final real drive of the game. The match played out similar to what was seen the previous matchday against Christos, and the 40-20 scoreline proved it.

vs CHAMPAGNE SOCIALIST SHARIFISTAN
With a 3-0 start in the books and qualification for the next round nearly guaranteed, Quentin Averfel decided to take a chance and rest the starters for the match against unknown Champagne Socialist Sharifistan. This ended up being a good move, as the backup players were able to get their feet wet with big playing time. This could end up being a masterful move if big-name players go down with injuries at some point in the coming games, so hopefully this pays off if that time comes.

Due to the backups not seeing significant time on the field, they needed a bit of time to get themselves situated. The offense was decent, but could only put up three touchdowns (with a failed two point conversion on one). The defense had a better game, only allowing a single touchdown and two field goals (and no points in the second half at all). Once again, the defense managed to put up a pick six. This one came from Keegan Masters, who lurked and intercepted a halfback screen pass deep in CSS territory for an easy touchdown.

With this win, Drawkland has officially qualified for the second round! The only other nation to achieve that so far is Taeshan, though Main Nation Ministry and Ranoria are also 4-0. This isn't a huge achievement, as the next game will decide all the other qualifiers, but it's good to know that we're currently playing at the top of our game.

PREDICTIONS
Our final match of the first round will be against Terre Septentrionale. This 24th-ranked squad had high hopes for their season, hoping to catch a couple upsets and make it to the next round. These hopes didn't pan out, as a crushing loss to Vangaziland followed by a thrilling overtime upset loss to Christos which officially ended their season. They no longer have anything to play for, but a mid-major squad with a chip on their shoulder is nothing to sleep on. It's crucial that the Grid Corps wins this game in order to get a top seed for the second round. If they win they'll definitely be Pot 1, as there's only 4 undefeated teams left, but with a loss they'll have to hope the other undefeated and one-loss teams underperform.

It's too close to call the second round so far, especially since that round will require another group draw. On top of that, Drawkland's great performance so far can mainly be attributed to the weak strength of schedule. In any case, the momentum is still on their side, especially if they get out of the Terre Septentrionale match with a win. All we can do now is wait and watch to see how things pan out. More to come later. As always .... On Corps!!

[Free Republics]

World Bowl XXXVIII

In the end as you fade into the night, who will tell the story of your World Bowl? Its the Googol Group Stage 1 Matchday 5 Cutoff! Googol: We Aren't Evil!

---

Matchday Five Results

AllMart Group
Saint Kanye 0–3 The Greater Nordics
Lushansk 17–23 La Montevideo
Lisander 0–33 Taeshan

  AllMart Group                            Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD 
1 Taeshan                                    5   5  0  184  52 +132
2 The Greater Nordics                        5   3  2  104 106  −2
3 Lisander                                   5   2  3   66 103 −37
4 Saint Kanye                                5   2  3  111  70 +41
5 La Montevideo                              5   2  3   64 106 −42
6 Lushansk                                   5   1  4   60 152 −92

BearOil Group
Ranoria 32–30 The Sarian
Nurkama 20–27 Geektopia
East Lemyone 6–27 Kaboomlandia

  BearOil Group                            Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD 
1 Ranoria                                    5   5  0  186  90 +96
2 Geektopia                                  5   4  1  149  76 +73
3 Nurkama                                    5   3  2  121 114  +7
4 Kaboomlandia                               5   2  3  109 141 −32
5 The Sarian                                 5   1  4   84 134 −50
6 East Lemyone                               5   0  5   73 167 −94

Dixon Light Group
Cassadaigua 35–20 Transmondian Commonwealth of New England
Smyth 29–24 Cardo
Cosumar 15–20 TJUN-ia

  Dixon Light Group                        Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD 
1 Cassadaigua                                5   4  1  143  91 +52
2 Cosumar                                    5   3  2  138 117 +21
3 Smyth                                      5   2  3   72  94 −22
4 Cardo                                      5   2  3  109 144 −35
5 TJUN-ia                                    5   2  3  116 131 −15
6 Transmondian Commonwealth of New England   5   2  3  161 162  −1

Ecumenical Coalition for Morality Group
United States of Devonta 3–23 Pridnestrovia
Mushroom Kingdoms and Republics 20–21 Tomure
Abanhfleft 29–23 Inner AginanaUsordia

  Ecumenical Coalition for Morality Group  Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD 
1 Pridnestrovia                              5   4  1  145  46 +99
2 Abanhfleft                                 5   3  2  135 100 +35
3 United States of Devonta                   5   3  2   84 106 −22
4 Tomure                                     5   3  2   94 110 −16
5 Inner AginanaUsordia                       5   2  3  115 132 −17
6 Mushroom Kingdoms and Republics            5   0  5   90 169 −79

FreedomCola Group
Champagne Socialist Sharifistan 17–22 Jaspec
Terre Septentrionale 6–47 Drawkland
Vangaziland 30–14 Christos

  FreedomCola Group                        Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD 
1 Drawkland                                  5   5  0  179  67 +112
2 Vangaziland                                5   4  1  140  68 +72
3 Jaspec                                     5   2  3   87 130 −43
4 Terre Septentrionale                       5   2  3  108 112  −4
5 Christos                                   5   2  3   88 137 −49
6 Champagne Socialist Sharifistan            5   0  5   55 143 −88

Nicholls Enterprises Group
Karditan 16–29 Anthor
Resarkia 17–34 Newmanistan
Pius Desurongcrandis 7–27 Ko-oren

  Nicholls Enterprises Group               Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD 
1 Anthor                                     5   4  1  107  93 +14
2 Newmanistan                                5   4  1  120  92 +28
3 Ko-oren                                    5   3  2   86  50 +36
4 Karditan                                   5   2  3   75 100 −25
5 Pius Desurongcrandis                       5   1  4   75 110 −35
6 Resarkia                                   5   1  4   79  97 −18

O'Reilly Group of Greatness
Free Republics 26–3 Bolgano
Banija 10–13 Space
Xanneria 17–0 St Saratoga

  O'Reilly Group of Greatness              Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD 
1 Free Republics                             5   4  1  130  69 +61
2 Xanneria                                   5   4  1  137  56 +81
3 Space                                      5   3  2   78 102 −24
4 Banija                                     5   2  3   85 104 −19
5 Bolgano                                    5   2  3   63  82 −19
6 St Saratoga                                5   0  5   45 125 −80

Sporting World Group
Allamunnic States 24–22 Equestria
Main Nation Ministry 12–14 Ahrida
HUElavia 6–24 Hapilopper

  Sporting World Group                     Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD 
1 Main Nation Ministry                       5   4  1  139  50 +89
2 Allamunnic States                          5   4  1  125 104 +21
3 Equestria                                  5   3  2  141  92 +49
4 Hapilopper                                 5   2  3   96  88  +8
5 HUElavia                                   5   1  4   58 164 −106
6 Ahrida                                     5   1  4   49 110 −61

AllMart Group: La Montevideo, Lisander and Saint Kanye split their head to head games. La Montevideo defeated Lisander 12-10. Lisander defeated Saint Kanye 30-20. Saint Kanye defeated La Montevideo 16-7. La Montevideo finishes with a H2H point difference of -7. Lisander finishes with a H2H point difference of +8. Saint Kanye finishes with a H2H point difference of -1. Thus, Lisander finishes 3rd, Saint Kanye finishes 4th and La Montevideo finishes 5th.

Dixon Light Group: Cardo and Smyth both went 2-1 in head to head games. TJUN-ia and Transmondian Commonwealth of New England both went 1-2 in head to head games. Smyth finishes 3rd due to 29-24 head to head win over Cardo, who finishes 4th. TJUN-ia finishes 5th due to 40-36 win over Transmondian Commonwealth of New England, who finishes 6th.

Ecumenical Coalition for Morality Group: Abanhfleft, Tomure and United States of Devonta split the head to head games. Tomure defeated Abanhfleft 27-20. Abanhfleft defeated United States of Devonta 39-13. United States of Devonta defeated Tomure 26-9. Thus, Tomure finishes with a H2H point difference of -10. Abanhfleft finishes with a H2H point difference of +19. United States of Devonta finishes with a H2H point difference of -9. Thus, Abanhfleft finishes 2nd, United States of Devonta finishes 3rd and Tomure finishes 4th.

FreedomCola Group: Christos, Jaspec and Terre Septentrionale split their head to head games. Jaspec beat Christos 33-14. Terre Septentrionale beat Jaspec 17-6. Christos beat Terre Septentrionale 27-21. Jaspec finishes with head to head point difference of +8. Christos finishes with head to head point difference of -13. Terre Septentrionale finishes with head to head point difference of +5. Thus Jaspec finishes 3rd, Terre Septentrionale 4th and Christos 5th.

Nicholls Enterprises Group: Anthor finishes 1st due to 34-20 head to head win over Newmanistan. Pius Desurongcrandis finishes 5th due to 24-13 head to head win over Resarkia.

O'Reilly Group of Greatness: Free Republics finishes 1st due to 33-24 head to head win over Xanneria. Banija finishes 4th due to 13-9 head to head win over Bolgano.

Sporting World Group: Main Nation Ministry finishes 1st due to 20-9 head to head win over Allamunnic States. HUElavia finishes 5th due to 12-6 win over Ahrida.

---

Seeding Table
 1 Taeshan                                    5   5  0  184  52 +132
 2 Drawkland                                  5   5  0  179  67 +112
 3 Ranoria                                    5   5  0  186  90 +96
 4 Pridnestrovia                              5   4  1  145  46 +99
 5 Main Nation Ministry                       5   4  1  139  50 +89
 6 Free Republics                             5   4  1  130  69 +61
 7 Cassadaigua                                5   4  1  143  91 +52
 8 Anthor                                     5   4  1  107  93 +14
 9 Xanneria                                   5   4  1  137  56 +81
10 Geektopia                                  5   4  1  149  76 +73
11 Vangaziland                                5   4  1  140  68 +72
12 Newmanistan                                5   4  1  120  92 +28
13 Allamunnic States                          5   4  1  125 104 +21
14 Abanhfleft                                 5   3  2  135 100 +35
15 Cosumar                                    5   3  2  138 117 +21
16 The Greater Nordics                        5   3  2  104 106  −2

Second Group Stage

Dr. Spice Group

Taeshan
Anthor
Xanneria
Cosumar*

Johnston Marijuana Company Group

Drawkland
The Greater Nordics*
Cassadaigua
Geektopia

RepublicSoft Group

Ranoria
Abanhfleft
Free Republics
Vangaziland


Safari Group

Pridnestrovia
Allamunnic States
Main Nation Ministry
Newmanistan

*Swapped to avoid group stage rematches

Host Note: Group names and stadium assignments will be announced later.

[TJUN-ia]

CYCLE ONE COMPLETE

Not bad at all from our Jaguars

We beat the top 2 seeds, which is an achievement within itself.

We didn't finish last in our group, also an achievement.

Good luck to everyone in the 2nd Group Stage. For now, we look towards something more...mechanical.

[Geektopia]

Geektivities
*Be cool, be woke.

Greenheads beat up-and-coming Nurkama to secure spot out of first group stage
Play-by-Play
#12 Xavier Loon kick off 70 yards, returned by #14 Declan Winneson for 30 yards (tackle by #39 Great Kilodestruquaxul)
Quintuple-terrible tethrathoth right guard for 8 yards (tackle by #50 Jordan Huscher and #91 Greyson Pollard)
#8 Germain Sophie short right to #32 Tristaculated-tethraturreted-tethritertethracross for 6 yards (tackle by #36 Vincent "Vinder" Derganoff and #64 Andy Bulton)
Quintuple-terrible tethrathoth left tackle for no gain (tackle by #64 Andy Bulton and #98 Jack Gallant)
#8 Germain Sophie short left to #32 Tristaculated-tethraturreted-tethritertethracross for 1 yard (tackle by #53 Oscar Andrisov and #64 Andy Bulton)
#8 Germain Sophie short middle to #32 Tristaculated-tethraturreted-tethritertethracross for 10 yards (tackle by #53 Oscar Andrisov)
Quintuple-terrible tethrathoth right tackle for 6 yards (tackle by #53 Oscar Andrisov and #64 Andy Bulton)
#8 Germain Sophie pass incomplete short right intended for #99 Tethracubor-by-hyperion (defended by #54 Ben Verrachi)
#8 Germain Sophie pass incomplete short right intended for #99 Tethracubor-by-hyperion (defended by #53 Oscar Andrisov)
#17 Petaddep punts 44 yards, touchback
#12 Candin Serditch pass complete short left to #39 Alrin Hirsch for 12 yards (tackle by #79 Grand Grand Tethrathoth)
Penalty on #44 Drew "Champ" Chlampin: False Start, 5 yards (no play)
#5 Khallador Retinec for 15 yards (tackle by #82 Googol-octodecigong)
#18 Andrew Wrent right end for 13 yards (tackle by #26 Grand Tethrathothigong)
#12 Candin Serditch pass incomplete short right intended for #39 Alrin Hirsch
#18 Andrew Wrent left tackle for 11 yards (tackle by #41 Pentofaxul)
#26 Paul Veers right guard for 6 yards (tackle by #26 Grand Tethrathothigong and #82 Googol-octodecigong)
#26 Paul Veers middle for 9 yards (tackle by #79 Grand Grand Tethrathoth and #33 Fugasix)
#26 Paul Veers middle for 7 yards (tackle by #79 Grand Grand Tethrathoth and

[The Greater Nordics]

GNTV World Bowl Report

In his first World Bowl as coach, Leif Beck has the nordics advance into the second round. Some would say they barely squeaked by and you would be right. They took second place with a record of 3-2. The offense was not very good in the last game against St. Kanye but it did not matter because the opposition was not doing much either. It was a hard fought defensive game which you would not have expected coming into it. Both teams have high scoring offenses and good defenses. "The offense has to get better or else we are going to be in trouble. The defense cannot be expected to carry this team." Head Coach Beck said in a press conference after the game against St. Kanye. We will be watching to see if the nordics can continue their run.

[Inner AginanaUsordia]

twitcher.iau/kasorryan/status-4-2-2020/show@0803
Ryan Kasor, 8:03 AM
Thank you so much for a wonderful opportunity! It was an honor coaching the Inner AginanaUsordia Lions to two victories and 27th place in the 38th World Bowl.

twitcher.iau/gridironaginanausordia/status-4-2-2020/show@1032
Official Inner AginanaUsordia Gridiron Football, 10:32 AM
Some shifts in coaching staff have been announced for the next international gridiron football tournament:
Head Coach: Kannan Novicek
OC/QB's: David Neselhuf
DC: Dragan Jankovic, Head Coach and Defensive Coordinator of the Belgrade Raiders
OL/DL: Dan Vosich
Special Teams: Anna Kasor
Also, thank you to the coaches who will not be returning. It was fun to watch the team play.

twitcher.iau/kcoachnovi/status-4-2-2020/show@1428
Coach Kannan Novicek, 2:28 PM
It was an honor to coach in a worldwide event as prestigious as the World Bowl, and it will be an honor to return.