World Cup 84- RP Thread (IC)

[Turori]

Cocoabo Fall Flat in Turorian Return

Eel's Park, Eelandii, Turori Officials from the Football Association of Turori (FAT) watched on as Turori's National Cocoabo Squad took to the field to the cheers of the home supporters at Eel's Park. It was the Cocoabo Squad's first appearance at Eel's Park since the World Cup 81 campaign, back in the heart of Turorian sport to take on local rivals 95X to kick off the World Cup 84 Qualifiers.

It was a surprise to many when the Football Association of Turori announced that the Cocoabo Squad would be participating in the World Cup 84 Qualifications, despite the fact that the Citizen Squad did so wholly under perform at the World Cup 83 Finals. Mumau Atla-Siioai and the Football Association of Turori each reiterated, however, that the Cocoabo Squad's inclusion on the schedule for the Turori National Team did not mean that a formal Citizen v. Cocoabo competition would be held during the campaign. Instead, FAT officials indicated that the Cocoabo's inclusion would serve only to lessen the load on the Citizen Squad during the course of the Qualification campaign and help to ensure that the Citizen Squad would be as fresh as possible for maximum results as Turori wind up once more for a run at their first World Cup Title.

Things couldn't have gotten off to a worse start for the Cocoabo however as they would ultimately drop their first match at home to kick off the campaign as Qualification rivals 95X got an early leg up in what is certain to be a difficult group containing three former AOCAF Champion or Co-Champion nations in Turori, Cosumar and 95X.

The Citizen Squad was not in town for the match as they had already hit the road to prepare for their first match of the campaign against unranked nation Ynyslas. The Citizen Squad will then return home to race Guadalajara before returning to the road to face Sajnur.

Matchday 5 will see a bye for Turori at which point they will hope to remain within striking distance of the top spot, having already fallen into a three point hole after the first matchday. The Citizen squad will continue once more against Benjamin Mark on Matchday 6 before the Cocoabo Squad will get a chance at redemption for their opening day defeat when they travel to nearby Cosumar for their second match and first away game of the World Cup 84 Qualifiers.

The Citizens will return to face Devonta and Saintland before the Cocoabo contest their third and final match of the first half of qualifying at the Cocoabo Park Arena in the Cocoabo Forest against Pink Floyd FC. The first half will close out in Barsland on Matchday 11 with the Citizen Squad before the team will take a mid-qualifying break and prepare for a second-half push for a spot in the World Cup Finals.

Of course there is a lot riding on the line particularly for Turorian companies such as Cocoa-bo who have a large presence in both Cassadaigua and the Commonwealth of Baker Park. Football Association of Turori officials will hope that the Citizen Squad can right the ship for the moment though the Cocoabo will certainly have a short leash with FAT officials stating that if the Cocoabo can't win their remaining two first half games it is unlikely they will make any additional appearances in the second half of the qualification campaign.

[Audioslavia]

Defecating Daffodil wasn’t a huge fan of being dubbed the ‘non-union multiversal equivalent’ to Urinating Tree. He was even less of a fan of Jeremy Jaffacake, who smelled of stale whisky and stupid.

Whether or not he was a fan of what Jeremy had just given to him was another question.

A YouTube series, he thought. A YouTube series about real, Nationstates football. It didn’t make sense. Why would you use an RL States medium to talk about real NS sports? It’d be like reading about Serie A in the Cathair Herald.

It was a novel idea, that was for sure. Daffodil had agreed to do a few episodes here and there, on the condition that Jeremy actually finalise the script before sending to him, and on the condition that he could edit out anything overly stupid.

He pressed ‘play’ on the video again.

Jeremy certainly had a penchant for the dramatic. I mean what was this whole project, really, other than a very flamboyant way of showing off your new spreadsheet.

[The Sherpa Empire]

The Sherpa Empire's World Cup qualifying schedule got off to a slow start with a bye and a match against unranked Atlantic Republic. That meant Tandi Ammini had some time to get settled to his role as manager of the national team before they went up against the tough teams like Banija and Brenecia.

While some teams were playing their first qualifying matches, the Sherpa national team headed up to Thimphu to get acclimated to the high altitude. Playing at high-altitude was a reality that pretty much every professional athlete in the Sherpa Empire had to deal with. Even if their home stadium was down on the coast, there would still be away games. Most managers knew which of their players coped well with the altitude and which didn't, and they adjusted their line ups accordingly. Ammini was familiar with all this. While the national team did their training drills at Changlimithang Stadium, he paid attention to who seemed to get short of breath and who looked like they had energy to spare. They kept their drills short enough so the players that struggled with the altitude would have adequate recovery time before they were needed for an a match. All the players were provided with a variety of herbal beverages that were alleged to alleviate altitude sickness; and while they were off the field resting, they studied their opponents.

One of the big complaints against Namri Patel when he ran the Sports Department was the quality of scouting for international competitions. Zora Shafi wanted to make sure they didn't have the same problem under her administration, although the higher-ups still weren't giving her much of a budget to hire scouting staff. Fortunately, many of the countries in the Sherpa Empire's qualifying group were football enthusiasts that provided extensive media coverage of their national teams -- so it was possible to obtain a lot of video footage and information by combing through foreign media coverage. Of course, it still took time to analyze it, but it was helpful to at least have the raw information readily available.

Changlimithang was a picturesque stadium, but not a very practical one. It didn't have adequate seating or a lot of amenities. It wasn't really designed for hosting major football matches. It was mostly known for hosting the Sherpa Empire's national archery championships, which were a great source of provincial pride in Bhutan, but did not enjoy the same popularity as football. Everyone was enjoying the quaint and beautiful architecture now, when the Sherpas were playing no-name opponents and there wasn't that much demand for tickets -- but it was a good thing they were only using it for the small games.

[Nephara]

Nephara 1 - 1 Bolgano
(4-4-2) 12 - Rustwyth; 2 - Sanger, 5 - Thorn (c), 22 - Anderson, 19 - Katarec; 7 - Kuepper, 15 - Aschenbach, 8 - Chalk (21 - Moxham 67'), 16 - Deventer (11 - Strongbow 67'); 14 - Tzorvas (9 - Hawke 67'), 22 - Lovelace
Goal: Kuepper 37'

Rowena Strongbow had reached the end of her tether some time back.
Strongbow, Hawke and Moxham, warming up on the bench to try and break down a resilient Bolgano side, a side playing with heart, but one that should on paper have been broken over the Cormorants' knee at home. A draw in isolation was no disaster. A draw straight after two hugely disappointing international tournaments was the continuation of a disastrous pattern.
Ninety minutes came and went, and for the first time under Strauss, she lead her charges down the tunnel with derisive jeers at their back.
They filed in, mutely. Strauss leaned on one of the lockers, took a deep breath, "Right, lads, that--"
"That was fucking pathetic," said Strongbow, hard-edged and seething.
"Uhm."
"You know what? You fucking know what? I'm sick of this. I'm sick of this shit, every fucking break. Sick of this accepting mediocrity. That was pathetic. We were awful out there. They should have thrown coins and flares at us. After every break I have to go back to Circe and tell her she's not getting called up in favour of--"
She faltered. But Evangeline Aschenbach was going to take on the challenge. "Favour of who, Rowena? Shitters like us?"
"Hey. Save it for-"
Strongbow snapped. "Yeah, Eva, shitters like you. And you know what, it barely matters what I do out there. Cross after cross and you cunts should eat that up. I know back home-"
Estrella Hawke put a warning hand on her teammate's shoulder. "Ro, you need to cool it."
"I'm not going to fucking cool it! Am I fucking crazy here? Am I crazy to fucking think we can do better than crashing out of the World Cup without a fucking win to our names? To think maybe we should walk these fucking home qualifiers? Directus! Directus! Brinemouth! Crawford! Listen to these fucking clubs! Brinemouth, again! Jungle Strike! And I know we have twenty-three legitimate fucking stars out there. I know we do. I just..." She squeezed shut her damp eyes. Her brain caught up with her, at last, and softly repeated, ohhhh, that was really bad...
But by now everyone was shouting at once, Marcin Close had two people in a headlock, Daniella Strauss was contemplating her life decisions and nobody even noticed when Strongbow slipped out and went home.

Strauss didn't stop contemplating her life decisions, even after going six or seven rounds with an antique bottle of Mad Sasha's Hundred-Folded Ashsmoke Liqueur, the second-most terrifying spirit produced within the borders of the Union of Nephara, and aged long enough that wasn't even the country's name at the time. That did, however, inspire her to send her best player a voicemail.
"Hey, fuckinnnnn'... thanks for your leadership today, bitch. Thaaanks. Thanks sooooo much. It's like... you think you know, what, my job, you know what is it like? You don't! You don't know! Rowena! You donon't farken know a fahkin thing. But you! Are gonna come tell, tell, tell, tell thingy, the, the, tell thingy that her, that she's a shit cunt? You can't just do that?? So, so you can like, not come, like, back. Yeah? Yeah, see how the, the, fuckin', the press does with that. Eat you alive. And you know? Then? You know what? Then-- then you, you'll know what it's like to be me..."
Rowena Strongbow listened to this message, and the sixteen seconds of choked sobbing that signed it off, drumming her fingers on the desk. She suspected now, maybe, saying sorry was not gonna cut the mustard.

There were many paths available to her. She chose to pretend the message had never happened, showing up to training as scheduled the next day. This suited everybody, since like hell did Strauss remember sending it.
Still, it didn't take an ethnographer to realise the atmosphere was different. More subdued. The hungover manager didn't help, but still, this was normally a group which chatted, or at least bickered, among themselves. Today? Nobody really seemed willing. Even the vaguely unseelie ones, like Deventer.
Hesterine Mercator eventually brought up the subject with her trademark tact. "For once, nobody's saying anything," she remarked after catching her fifth straight terrible corner from Moxham. "You should start again. I need to keep in practice at tuning you all out."
But not even she could whip life back in. It would, everyone knew, take a win. Or at least, time. But, God, a win would help.
Anything else, against minnows Monso, could... well, it could warrant something extreme from above. Shit rolled downhill, and Strauss was first in line.

That night, she opened a folder on her laptop that she'd be the first to admit was a little sad and pathetic. She was pretty embarrassed by its existence, so she'd mislabelled the folder as 'Pornography' to try and make it fly under the radar.
Still, it made her sigh and smile.
They were pictures. But it was just screenshots of articles that had heralded her arrival as a glorious new dawn, articles calling for patience and faith, articles that believed in her.
There weren't any from the past year, and a year was a long time in a managerial career. She hoped - she prayed - she could find some more.

Beat Monso. Beat Monso. Nobody had circled either of these first two matches as one to watch. And so far, it was just two points dropped.
But if two became four or, unthinkably, five... well, Lisa Amos, Erin Camden, Cheney Bittencourt... they were only a phone-call away.
She kept the team-talk simple, and the team strong. "Win or die, lads."

[The Sarian]

De BondSaari 0 - 2 Hulaafia
'27 A. Cristiano
'63 M. Navarro

The Sarian Line-up(4-5-1): O. Duoztiun; E. Strijd (W. Beunaad '64), J. Pieuz (C), B. Ziebruux, E. Koemanz; W. Buul, L. Bisop, J. Lauri (N. Noriuz '72), L. Aucs, L. Bruux; W. Pauwelz (B. Kindvanstefan '72)

The Sarian vs HUElavia: three things we learned

Growing Pains
This was the team's first time playing together: and you could tell. Whilst it would perhaps be hyperbolic to call miscommunication 'rife', you could tell that Jaxon Pieuz and Bruux Ziebruux were not always sure what the other were doing - notably letting Patrick Petit in for a one-on-one in the early minutes after both seemingly thought the other was marking him. Elsewhere, the midfield struggled to give Wera Pauwelz the ball where she really wanted it, leaving her ineffectual until eventually being subbed off in the seventy-second minute. These things will take time - but with The Sarian facing a top-heavy schedule against the higher ranked teams, this might be time they don't have.

Lacking Resilience?
For twenty-seven minutes, the game was fairly well matched. Don't misunderstand, HUElavia were clearly playing with the skill and experience that comes with decades of international football but the Sari team were clearly holding their own. A number of early HUElavian attacks were confidently halted - Epi Koemanz particularly impressing in this regard - as well as countering with some of their own. Pauwelz was unlucky not to score after being linked up by Lizett Aucs for a shot that grazed the post, and Jodi Lauri forced a finger-tip save from Carreiro-Couto Ricardo in the HUElavian goal. However, once a free-kick from Aveiro-Lima Cristiano shot past Oodel Duoztiun the early spirit dissipated. Miccal Druiven's half-time team talk seemingly managed to encourage the side to rally in the second half, but Navarro's goal called curtains. Again, The Sarian are facing a difficult run-of-games - with no obvious win until matchday seven away at Tara & Cambray - if the team's heads have dropped by then, it could be a very bad qualifying for The Sarian.

Oodel Duoztiun really is good
The issue with columns like this is that the picture painted tends to come across as overly negative - we must not forget that The Sarian came away with a respectable result against quality opposition in fine form. Part of the reason for that was a great performance from Oodel Duoztiun in goal. Everyone has been talking about him all year, but it's not immediately obvious how LegaSaari form will translate into international football against inherently different opponents and styles of play. Perhaps it is easier as a goalkeeper, but Duotziun looked like he made the transition best - making a number of stops against wizkid Marc Navarro, who terrorised the Sari defence after coming on as a substitute, and stopping the excellent Patrick Petit from scoring on a number of occasions. It's early days, but Duotziun's performances could be the ones that define how good the Sari qualifying campaign ends up being.

[Trolleborg]

ABAHNFLEFT - TROLLEBORG 3-3

Our first match in the qualifying tournaments of the world championships gave us many answers, but many questions remained without them. It seems to us that this Trolleborg should be more than happy with the result. We should thank our fans, without their powerful energy, the team would probably not have looked so collected.

Since we have a day off, team and fans can rest and relax, scout went to the match of our future rival with the former rival. We know almost nothing about the first, and after this game we can gauge our results and performance more precisely.

Stadium of the Old Forester, Markovsky, Mezaladbyi Province. Att. 40200 (capacity 40,202).
McGinnis,17 (1-0). Kerr,24(1-1). Erin,42 (2-1). Kerr,55(2-2). McGinnis,65(3-2). Troll,85(3-3).
Trolleborg: Kotsson, Levenkrands, Troger, Dushegub, Wolters (Zhita,79), Tro (Skaloed,74), Kolding, Troll, Valgren, Finnsnes, Kerr.

Our team from the very beginning made a bet on the defence, and, it seems, correctly, for a long time the hosts, owning the ball and having advantage, could not get to the Kotsson goal. But still, ours weren’t safe, after a free kick from the flank, McGinnis laid a ball into the net with a graceful nod of the head, Kotsson managed only to slip on it with his fingertips. The game after that continued in the same spirit, but it only seemed so, beacause after a few minutes Wolters made a run on his flank, advanced almost to the the end, gave a diagonal pass back, Troll carried out a distracting maneuver, and the ball got to Finnsnes who immediately did precise pass to the penalty area of the hosts, Kerr jumped out from behing of the defenders and score our first goal in WCQ. The advantage, however, remained with the hosts, who had received two more chances to go ahead before the break, and scored the second goal at the very end of the first half - after the cross from the flank to the penalty area there was bustle and Erin put an end to it, sending ball into the far corner , and it fly into the net past four players of both teams. In the second half, nothing really changed, the hosts pushed, our players fought off quite successfully, responding with counterattacks, and in one of them they managed to equalize, Valgren launched a ball from the central circle onto Kolding's flank, he made an accurate pass to Kerr and our best sniper sent the ball to near corner. The hosts' players went on the attack again and quickly scored for the third time. McGinnis freed herself from the close guardianship of the Trolleborg defenders and successfully put ball into the ball after the corner. The match seemed to be heading for the hosts victory when Troll showed his best qualities, choosing the moment when the goalkeeper of the hosts was closed by his players and struck from just outside the box. Ball ricocheted from the crossbar the ball flew into the net. A 3:3 draw is an unexpected but pleasant result, what else can you say.

On the field yesterday we could see a rather strange mash: concentrated harsh-faced men under and over 30 and elegant ladies who were much younger. And this, perhaps, is only the beginning of the story: Aiden Troger admitted that by the end of the match he had almost completely got to the offer of the hand-and-heart to one of the opponents players, but believes that his chances are not too great, since he harshly attacked her in one episode closer to end of the game. “But I will return to this question” – he added, though – “Maybe after the second match, in Trolleborg. I would like to sit together with her for a cup of coffee when there was no need to think about points and the tournament situation (I know a great place in the center of Trolleborg, with a beautiful view), tell her about myself and about our country, learn more about her, invite her to be guest in Trolleborg when there will be an opportunity.

[Jeruselem]

Princess Kate at the Naked News Jeruselem studio

Hey, this is Princess Katherine Annabelle Dallas for Naked News Jeruselem. World Cup 84 has started! Well, Jeruselem had a bye so we'll be last because we haven't played a single game yet. We get the bye first game of each half of qualifying so match day 1 and 12 are byes for us. So no results for our team so I'll discuss the results for match 1 day in Group 11.

Top seed Free Republics visited Galar and won 2-0. Taeshan, the other top seed didn't not start well! It went to TJUN-ia and went back with a disappointing 2-2 draw. Welzat went to Balqia and came back with 3-2 draw to register their first points. Geektopia hammered Nahkistan 3-1 at home, and Schottia managed a 3-3 draw with visitors Savojarna.

So 3 wins and two draws. The big result was Taeshan being held to a 2-2 draw as they were expected to start with a win given their opponents were not that ranked that well. 43th ranked Savojarna wasted a chance to win as well. The table shows Geektopia, Free Republics and Welzat leading with their wins! We're not on the table due to not playing a single game as yet. It's only match day 1 so the table means nothing at all really.

Not much to report on here with the team. At least we got our bye out of the way.
I can do some questions from our fans since there's nothing to talk about here!

People do ask why no many older people on the team? Well, it's hard life being on the road ... or plane when travelling during the world cup. The older you get the harder it gets to handle the travel even for people who aren't playing football like say reporters and just the required staff. When you get to around 40, you do realise it's too hard. For players, older ones have family and kids as well so it's even harder so stay away from home for too long.

Now, people say all this world cup stuff is expensive. Why do we bother when we never win the cup! Yes well, it's not cheap. Sadly, sporting wise we're not great at much other sports! We've never been a super sporting nation other than one sport. And besides we have an industry attached to football, the fact is the biggest money spinner for domestic football is the world cup. We need it to justify having a domestic league or leagues.

Some people comment about learning about other countries when is on. Yes we do, we travel to other countries and they visit us. We can't live a bubble, the world cup is way to showing the world we're one of them and we're equals. We might not win the cup or qualify but we're part of the community of nations that shares a love for football. We can make money out of this as well, as a benefit.

Visitors wonder if the stories about Jeruselem women are true! Well, we got all sorts here ... from the chaste ones, you can spot them a mile away to those dirty sluts people prefer to talk about. And everything in between. Saying all that, don't some to Jeruselem thinking we're a submissive lot. We got them feminists too! So we're a mixed bag, if you seek a special type of woman. Well everyone knows there's one here somewhere. In short, not all women here are the same.

Well that's it for now. See you all when we play our first game in the cup.

OOC
Group 11
Schottia 3–3 Savojarna
Geektopia 3–1 Nahkistan
Galar 0–2 Free Republics
TJUN-ia 2–2 Taeshan
Balqia 2–3 Welzat

[Tamgu]

LOSS ON THE PITCH, VICTORY AT THE COURT

Gopnikea 1-0 Tamgu (J. Gronthell 32')
The qualifications for the World Cup has started and Tamgu has already screwed up against Gopnikea, an unranked team everybody expected three points against. The team looked unready through the 90, and as a result, conceded a silly goal from a mistake by the new first-choice goalkeeper Sami Felter. The rest of the match didn't have too much action. Most people probably switched off by the 32nd minute, after the goal.

Manager Takra Resak: "I can't deny that we are not ready yet, but that means we are getting ready, expect us to get better every day. There are a few players I am thinking of benching, nothing is clear yet. We will show Tamgu's power to everyone in the group."

Assistant Halle Kram: "Well, we couldn't get ready in time, and this is the result. We take the blame on this and promise to improve as quickly as we can. We want to get to the finals more than anybody else, you will see."

Predicted line-up against Fetra: 3-5-2
--------------------Felter
-----------Konar, Postas, Larsin,
Duman, Ulsima, Leima, Mantes, Tayman,
----------------Nekir, Soros

ICN decision about Tamguna-Raznetan Conflict in the Tergaenean
Well, there is some good news. The crisis in the sea has been ended by the International Court of Nations. With a vote of 431 in favor and 39 against Tamgu has been found rightful. Razneta has been penalized with sanctions are regulations of their navy. Tamgu also got given a minor penalty of pacifying their navy for 3 months. They took the blame for not settling an official Tamgu-Razneta EEZ border sooner, which lead to the intersecting claims of both the countries.

A quick round-up for ones that don't have much knowledge on this:
Razneta tried oil drilling in (now officially recognized) Tamguna EEZ. This was immediately stopped by the oil rig being blown up by Tamguna ships. Razneta started mobilizing, seeing this as an act of war. ICN stepped in, cooled down the conflict and decided what was best to get the most peaceful scenario.

[Schottia]

Why I Hate Football

Part Seven.

As good as a man down.

‘Quickly Dad.’ Madita hopped from foot to foot, waiting for him to open her canteen of cold blackberry tea, the lid of which had become too stiff to turn. As soon as it was loosened, Madita had it whipped from his hands, and was drinking thirstily. Her cheeks were red from the exertions of training, and there were a few beads of perspiration on her forehead. ‘Haaaagh.’ She exhaled noisily, allowing herself to breath once more, before grabbing the small tin that lay at Gary’s feet, removing a few pieces of pear.

‘Feeling better..?’ Gary asked, watching his daughter nod her conformation, as she stuffed more fruit into her mouth than she could comfortably chew. ‘Did you have fun then?’ He added, as Madita removed the band from her (now-very-loose) ponytail, and handed it to him.

‘Having fun still.’ she corrected him, turning around so that he could retie her hair. ‘We are playing a practice game next.’ She could barely stand still, and it was making Gary’s job all the more difficult. The second the hair was back in place, she was off, tearing across the training complex, back to where the rest of her team were beginning to reassemble. Gary watched, as she was handed a bright green bib, and sorted a team for seven-a-side (or six Vs seven as numbers dictated).

September 1994…

‘Come on! Come on Lewis, play the ball! Play the fuc...’

Gary was occupying his usual position, sat at the edge of the pitch, waiting for the game to be over. Legs crossed, head tilted forwards, he was currently focussed on braiding together three long strands of grass. These Saturday tournaments could be a little tedious, but luckily Gary liked braiding grass, and making daisy chains; that helped when you were destined to spend the whole morning sat on your backside.

‘Lewis! LEWIS! Oh Tommy..! Oh… Tommy, for f*cksake..!’

Gary seemed to be the only person who was unfazed by Derek Hanson’s coarse language. If he had looked up at that moment, he would have witnessed a sea of furrowed brows, as disapproving parents look on with, well… disapproval. It was probably part of the reason why the team had so little luck in holding onto players. Mr Hanson’s belief that children were never too young for the hairdryer treatment was not one that was universally shared.

‘Hey Dad, you winning?’ Gary immediately dropped what he was doing, and looked up at the source of the voice. The new arrival was Mr Hanson’s daughter, Claire, who was already at high school. Gary always thought that she had a friendly face, and despite the fact that they’d never spoken, it cheered him up whenever she arrived.

‘No’ bloody likely…’ Mr Hanson groaned, abandoning his touchline prowling to stand beside his daughter. ‘Lost the first two games as well.’ He shook his head and folded his arms. ‘We’re a man down too, I’ve no substitutes left and that bloody Thompson laddie’s got a bit of muck in eye. His mother’s trying to wash it out with a cup of cold tea, but I’m not holding up much hope.’

‘What about that boy there?’ She asked, pointing to Gary, who duly averted his gaze, his heart pounding.

‘What? Corsie? The fat one? The Fishmonger’s laddie!?’ Mr Hanson shook his head in disbelief. ‘I’d be better off with a fillet of his dad’s halibut.’ The talk of going on the pitch was giving Gary palpitations. Despite training with the team for nearly three months, he felt less equipped than ever for the pressures that come with playing a real game.

‘But surely it’s better than a man down?’ Claire tried to convince her father. ‘At the very least he can get in the way a bit…’

‘Hah!’ Spluttered Mr Hanson in in wry laughter. ‘He’s certainly good at that.’ He thought for a moment, cast a nervous eye over the match, then thought a moment longer. ‘Right Corsie! You’re on! Move your arse!’

Gary slowly got to his feet, and trudged over with all the enthusiasm of a condemned man. ‘You’re going to be a defender. Gary do you know what that means?’ Mr Hanson’s expression was gravely serious as he asked the question, waiting for Gary to give a little nod. ‘Now when the ball comes towards you,’ he stabbed a finger against the young boy’s chest. ‘I want you to kick it as hard as you fucking can in the other direction. Do you understand?’

Gary gave another small nod of the head.

‘You can do it.’ Claire Hanson added, offering a smile. Gary was about to return it, when he was shoved forcefully into the fray, and found himself face-to-face with a real-life game.

It was played at a terrifying pace. Children were running, jostling, shouting. Ankles were being kicked, players were falling over, and knees muddied. Gary looked towards the side-lines, but one glance at Mr Hanson’s facial expression told him that running away would be a very, very bad idea. He’d likely send his daughter after him, and Gary would be lucky to get further than five metres before she caught him and slung him back on the pitch.

‘CORSIE!’

Gary gulped, as he was alerted to an opposition player dribbling directly towards him. He turned round, and to his horror, realised that he was the last line of defence. ‘I can’t do this…’ He tried to reassure himself, as the felt the tears well-up inside. The other boy was bearing down on him at a rate of knots.

‘COR-SIE – KICK – IT!’

The world had dissolved into slow motion and he knew it was now or never. The boy had mistimed his touch, and allowed the ball to trickle a little bit ahead of him. This was his moment, as if his entire life had been leading up to one swing of the leg. If he made contact, he would have proven that he wasn’t in every imaginable way, entirely useless. If he failed to make contact, he would never be allowed within a hundred metres of training ever again. It was a fate defining moment. Gary closed his eyes, and swung with all his might.

There was an unearthly silence, then, when Gary opened his eyes, he saw the ball leaved the end of his foot and head (at extreme speed) in the correct direction. Everyone froze, watching the trajectory, as it carried the ball all the way up the pitch, and straight into the face of an opposition player. It could not have been a sweeter hit, right on the button of his nose, and the boy proceeded to run from the pitch in floods of tears.

‘That’s it Corsie!’ Mr Hanson said with his fist held triumphantly in the air. ‘That’s the way to do it my boy!’

After the match, Gary slug his haversack back over his shoulders, and walked swiftly with Madita back towards the cargo bike. He’d been keen to avoid too much unnecessary conversation, and it was so far so good. In fact, other than his scare with Melissa, it was mission accomplished.

‘Can I not change out of my boots first, Dad?’ Madita protested, as she was led at pace from the training ground. Her father had her clamped tightly by the hand, and would not be letting go until she was buckled into the front bucket of the cargo bike.

‘Eh, Excuse me. Mr Brewer.’ Gary let out the longest sigh in human history, as all his premonitions were proven right. Turning slowly, pain etched on his face, he was confronted with the swiftly approaching Uli. ‘Sorry,’ he said, a little out of breath. ‘I wanted to speak to you before the two of you shot off.’

‘Uli.’ Madita broke free of Gary’s grip, and threw a hug round the young trainer’s waist.

Oh no, she was bonding. This was going to make it all the harder when Gary had to stop going, it would break her heart.

‘I just wanted to say that it was nice to have met you both, and I thought Madita played very well for her first time properly training.’

‘Thank you, that’s very kind.’ Gary was keen to stop the discussion in its tracks.

‘We’ve got a mini-tournament, here, this Saturday, if Madita is interested..?’ Uli smiled warmly. ‘She’s more than welcome to come along and…’

‘We have a Farmers Market on Saturday mornings.’ Gary answered in way of an apology. ‘Otherwise I’m sure we could have…’

‘That’s okay, the tournament doesn’t start till two!’ Uli said, arms spread wide in celebration.

‘Of course it doesn’t.’ Gary groaned, admitting defeat. Madita by contrast was fit to burst. Training was one thing, but never in her wildest dreams did she think she would be playing her first tournament in three days time.

‘Can I get a phone number from you?’ Uli asked at last, looking pleased to have completed a bit of transfer business. ‘I can add you the Group-Chat; that way you can stay informed.’

‘I don’t have a phone, sorry.’ Gary shrugged in apology. ‘I could give you our address, in case you want to send written correspondence..?’

Uli seemed reluctant, but he took the address down anyway, and slipped it inside his diary. What in the Multiverse was Gary getting himself in for..? He hated stress and commitments, and now his Saturday was going to be full of them. The Farmers Market was usually as much as he could bear, and now, he was going to have to rush to football after it was finished. This was a fine mess he’d gone and got himself in. The only point of comfort he could take - as he finally made it back to the cargo bike – was the fact that the day couldn’t get any worse…

[Bolgano]

Nephara 1-1 Bolgano

What everyone expected, okay, if we think about it any Bolganense did not expect this game, much less in the first qualifying game but that is the destination, but in the end Bolgano prepared enough and they do not want their training to be in vain.

Early in the morning they arrived at the stadium to try it, something wet, warm, flat, well the last thing was obvious, the players took the opportunity to finish their training before the game at night.

It was already night, they felt the cold of Nephara and the tension of a strong team and their fans placed them more uncomfortable, all ready to start the game, the referee blows the whistle and begins, the domain of Nephara was dominant as always, the most unexpected moments was the shot of Evans that passed near the crossbar in the 11th minute, following the match, Nephara had a free kick, it was up to Kueper, Nines put the barrier in place, Kueper kicked and hit him in the Noldmand's head, the ball fell back to Kueper, this time he kicked well and it was a quick moment, Nephara goal and the scoreboard opens, 1-0 Nephara and the stadium of the premises was exploding, maybe our players felt somewhat discouraged but the game ends in the 90th minute so you have to continue.

In the second part, the good team of Nephara gave us another scare, Hawke ran with the ball through the band, on the other side was Merztger, Hawke passed it and without Merztger brand he had his goal but Hawke put it very long, no The second came either, in the 78th minute the Bolgano team, Birgot center and Daniels Razor header had an attack but the goalkeeper covered it, had another corner kick and this time Daniels returns and showed us a very good goal, 1-1 and so it was, Bolgano was happy despite the fact that they did not find such an anguished victory but it was something very happy for them that their training paid off, 1-1 final.

[Ko-oren]

We know what you're here for. An in-depth look at the World Cup, or more specifically, the Dragonflies in Group 15. How Juliasterinthen has reconquered the squad for himself, now on a streak of World Cup Round of 16s, Cup of Harmony final-4 appearances, and AOCAF near-glory. How the squad looks different again, with a wider midfield and a less defensive setting. Whether the team can't just shut down opponents, but kill a game via possession. Or how many of our players now earn their money in foreign leagues, often among the Multiverse's best, and the influence on their national team play.

But first, a word from our sponsor.

NS World Cup Fantasy Qualification

Players from 21 different World Cup nations have entered into the land of Fantasy. 200 KPB points to spend, and many coming dangerously close to spending all of it. Somehow our marketing budget reached not just to the ends of the archipelago, but even Atlantian Oceania, Rushmore, and beyond. Darmen, Banija, Equestria, Taeshan, of course they're in. But Poafmersia, Hapilopper, Geektopia, Kita-Hinode, the Eternal Empire - all waging a cheeky bet that they know best which teams are going to surprise us in the lead up to the World Cup in Cassadaigua and Baker Park.

So here are some pre-qual stats for you:

- Vilita, the most expensive nation (worth 47,11 points), would account for 23,6% percent of the budget of 200 KPB, if you picked it. That didn't deter three selectors, those from Vilita & Turori, Reçueçn, and Xanneria.
- The next three most expensive teams on the list, Equestria, South Covello, and Cassadaigua, weren't picked by anyone.
- Hapilopper, Reçueçn, Chromatika, Schottia, Bears Armed, and Newmanistan were picked most often: all of them 10 or more times. Hapilopper was picked by 14 selectors - that's 66,67%! They're apparently a safe pick that's not too expensive at just 10,42 points.
- Choosing 15 nations at a cap of 200 points gives you an average 13,33 points per nation - so any team chosen that is worth fewer than that is the way to go, as agreed by many. Out of the 'most picked' list, all are worth under 16 points (with Reçueçn worth exactly 16,00 points). Schottia, Bears Armed, and Newmanistan are all under 8 - and Bears Armed is actually valued at 0 for not having gotten any points in the past three World Cup cycles. The most hyped unranked team, right here.
- A total of 99 different teams have been selected. 62 have been chosen at least twice. 40 teams appear in three lists, 31 in four. After that, things get narrower and narrower. As noted, just five nations appear in 50% of all lists!
- Yours truly has been given the Group 15 preference in seven lists. The Sarian, Equestria, Flavovespia, Poafmersia, Hapilopper, Vilita & Turori - and us - thanks for your trust!

And this follows from MD1:

- Five teams lost people points. Vilita & Turori, Xanneria, and the Sarian each picked two out of the five.
- Five teams scored four points (that's a victory, and a 3 or 4 goal advantage). Baptism of Fire darlings Poafmersia (in six lists) is among these, as are the Busoga Islands, Mercedini, Valanora, and Siovanija and Teusland.
- Poafmersia leads the Fantasy rankings after just the one matchday, with 42 points. Mriin, Ko-oren and Hapilopper follow close behind.
- This might surprise some, because Hapilopper invested just 196,33 points out of 200 - fewest among all contestants. Poafmersia and Ko-oren are also in the bottom 50% of investors. Mriin is first with just 0,13 unused points.

---

Back to the main story. With most players in the middle of things at their new clubs, a handful players were just out of the Wonder Cup and straight into the World Cup qualification squad. Juliasterinthen has, so far, not mentioned whether he will call up more players for a broader base to choose from during qualification, but it's not out of the question that Ko-oren will feature some 40 players that will then be whittled down to 23 for the World Cup or Cup of Harmony, assuming the Dragonflies will make it there.

The team did little to take away that assumption away at Eraman, coming away with a slightly comfortable 2-1 win. Apox, Eshan and New Lusitania all didn't falter so it seems that this group is going to be close for a very long time.

The all-blue Eraman XI started off without a plan, but they were certainly not naive about their opponent. A versatile 4-3-3 consisting of pretty much the entire Royal Daulapura squad set out to simply not make mistakes - and they gave away very little. They had it easy at the back, always with an extra man to escape the Dragonflies' pressure. The four-man back line could always find an open man together with defensive midfielder Biru so they were never forced to play the long ball and then give up the second ball. Simple positioning and basic agreements on how and where to place the ball gave them an easy time in the first 30 minutes. The Dragonflies weren't keen on pinning them down deep either, so most of the first half consisted of both defences calmly playing the ball back and forth, racking up incredible 'completed pass' stats, and both teams channeled their attacking intentions through just two or three players. For the very young Eraman team, Senawang was often open as an outlet for Biru, who advanced the ball to Nasar or Limus where possible. Usually the ball was then lost or passed back to the defence. There was little space between the lines, so as soon as Eraman lost the ball, they had to backtrack as a unit or forego their tactical plan. As time went on, there was more and more space between the lines and Limus, Munawi, and Nasar had trouble following their assignments. Dalton and Hellegeland took turns to move up to join Batchelor, Janoreirinthen, and Longchambon. The Dragonflies secured possession more and more, and were ready to up the pace towards the end of the first half. A counterattack by Limus and Nasar proved that Eraman weren't without a threat, and they actually opened the score, 1-0, with some naivity from Mizuno and Van Schelven, unable to cover three men and a wide-open space. Batchelor and Janoreirinthen gave it some extra to equalise in the first half, still, finding Vaugrenard on a long pass. He waited for Novoa and Longchambon to arrive, then picked out the Branvón striker to score an easy goal from four metres out.

The second half was more of the same, but with an increasingly tired Eraman squad. It was out of the question that they found open space at the back again, and it was a matter of time before they were completely overrun by the five non-defenders fielded by Ko-oren. Ulysse came on for Batchelor to provide more width and pace, Noya came on to replace Novoa, and De Villepin replaced Janoreirinthen for more attack power. This was by far the most attack-minded Ko-oren team we've seen in years, five creative players given free reign to hunt for the go-ahead goal. They eventually found it after 78 minutes, passing in triangles through the defence and putting Noya in a perfect place to score - no defender in front of him, inside the box. He didn't hesitate, pulled the trigger, and blasted the ball high into the near corner.

Next up is Apox, which is going to put at least one team at a disadvantage early on. A tie would give the rest of the group room to stay ahead of both of us for a while. The winning team is geared up to stay atop the group until the halfway point.

[The Andromeda Island Group]

A team very similar to The Andromeda Eagles was playing what may have been their first game of World Cup Qualification against the National Team of a country that may or may not be the Tornado Queendom.

----------

Coach Wilhelmina Jones is nominally the Head Coach of the Eagles. She is also the Head Coach of the University of Joppa. Three years ago, Jones inherited perhaps the best collegiate soccer program in the Allied States. The Joppa Jaguars have won the last three Andromeda collegiate soccer titles.

The Eagles’ Assistant coach is Kerri Zimmerman, who is also the Head Coach of the University of Todd’s Cove. Zimmerman has had to work much harder to make Todd’s Cove, a smaller college on the north of the Big Island, a contender. Zimmerman has coached the Clippers to the collegiate final in each of the past two years, losing to Joppa.

The Eagles have another Assistant: Jasmine Hopkins. Hopkins is the Head Coach at the Wilson Pickett Teacher’s College. Under Hopkins, Pickett College has risen from obscurity to become one of the Big Three soccer programs in the Allied States. They came in second in the Southern Region and have made the ACAA Semifinals each of the past two years.

As Coach Jones watches over her team early in the second half, Coach Zimmerman comes over to discuss some lineup changes she has made.

“Coach, I was wondering what was the reason you just replaced Dave Richman with Jackie Bishop.”

“It seems odd, doesn’t it?”

“To say the least. Richman is much better than Bishop. What gives?”

“Kerri, have any of your players talked with you today, about a dream they had last night?”

“What?”

“Has anyone told you about having any dreams last night?”

“It depends. Nobody saw me last night about any dreams, but Hattie (Lowenthal) and Erin (Height) told me today about dreams they had last night.”

“What did they say?”

“Hattie kept talking about taking pills, and that she doesn’t take pills. She also mentioned a rabbit.”

“And Erin? What did she say?”

“She was eating lunch and there was this guy with a top hat. She also mentioned a rabbit… with a watch.”

At that moment, Hopkins comes over.

“You’re not going to believe this, but Rochelle (Wyatt) and DL (Dandridge) both came up to me and started telling me about this dream they had.”

“Try me,” Jones said.

“Rochelle said that she found herself chasing a rabbit in a sport coat. DL said that she woke up in a cold sweat, anxious about being late.”

“Was there a rabbit in DL’s dream?”

“She WAS the rabbit.”

“Ladies, I had a similar conversation with Dora (Banner). She talked with me over breakfast this morning. She had a crazy dream last night. One moment, she’s looking up at blades of grass. The next minute, she’s a hundred feet tall.”

“So, what’s it mean?”

“I’m not sure, Toto, but I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.”

“How do we get out,” Hopkins asks.

“First, we throw this game.”

“What?” Zimmerman is shocked. "It's 2-2."

“Girls, our primary goal now has nothing to do with this game. If we ever want to get back home to Auntie Em, we need to get out of Dodge.”

“Wait! Aren’t Auntie Em and Dodge City both in Kansas?”

“Shut up, Kerri. Meena is right. We get the phuck out of the Purple Haze and back to reality.”

“Where black is black and white is white.” Zimmerman is on board.

“We’re headed straight to the airport anyways,” Jones points out. “Jaz, just have the bus driver start up before injury time.”

“Sure thing, Coach.”

“Kerri. Ask Steve Young and Chris Stonebreaker if they know anything about white rabbits or top-hat-wearing-mother…

----------

Coach Jones wakes up on the team plane. She’s hyperventilating. She grabs a bottle of water and drinks. After calming herself, Jones looks out of the window and sees Joppa along the horizon, just as the sun is rising. Jones looks out of the window and marvels at the colors along the horizon.

“There’s no place like home,” Jones whispers to herself.

“There’s no place like home."

[TJUN-ia]

TJUN-ia Update: PURPLE KNIGHTS FRUSTRATED IN OUR HOME!

TJUN-ia hosted it's first every international game, and it wasn't wasted as The Jaguar's frustrated the 26th ranked Purple Knights of Taeshan to a 2-2 draw in TJUN-ia City.

It was the Taes that striked first- a simple finish for Wilhelm Nkitilina in the 26th minute, before a stunning effort from Kepo Ulawaya levelled the game at the stroke of Half-Time. The Purple Knights fought they had won it in the 81st with a thunderbolt out of the blue form Alson Figueroa, but The Jaguars never gave in and were rewarded in the 88th with a goal out of nowhere from Peliniho sending the home fans at the National Stadium into a frenzy.

Newly-Appointed Manager David Seems praised the willingness of the team to never give up, even when it seemed in doubt. "They just kept fighting and scoring, and I am impressed. Getting a draw against the 2nd ranked team in the Group is speciel, as was our performance tonight."

The Jaguars now find themselves tied for 6th in the Group with the Purple Knights. There is no time to rest, however, as the Team must prepare for the biggest game of the tournament so far: Away at the Free Republics in Latroit. The FR are ranked 17th overall and are the highest-ranked team in Group 11. They recently went away and beat Galar 2-0, and seem confident about victory tonight. They are expected to produce a B-team in Latroit and are expected to win, as the preview for the game in Sporting World shows:

You can see them at the MingleDome in Latroit though you're probably better off just downloading Mingle and getting yourself a date for that night instead.

This quote will has been given to every member of the Team by Seems, as representation of the underestimation of the Jaguars by the local media. Seems hopes to use this as his advantage. "They won't expect much trouble from the game, as won't the crowd in the Stadium. If we can play well enough, we hope to pull the egotistical rug from under their shoes."

[Banija]

Kabaka - King
Luguba - Queen Consort
Sarauniya - Queen Mother
Isebantu - Crown Prince
Omugabe/Omugaba - Prince/Princess
Omulangira/Kyabazinga - Duke/Duchess
Kagere/Kiweewa - Lord/Lady
Katikkiro - Prime Minister
Waziri - Foreign Minister
Lukiiko- Parliament
Kiongozi- Leader of the Opposition

Setting is Mujaguzo Palace

Kabaka Mwanga was preparing for a meeting with the Isebantu, his oldest son, Mutungi. Of course, it would be about foreign policy. They were going to talk about Chromatika, eventually, but that would have to wait for another meeting, with the Katikkiro involved in that one as well. Kabaka Mwanga was here to talk about the relationship with one of Banija's most important allies, one that he had not paid a visit to yet- the Echani Republic. He had not yet been to Rosaria since his elevation to Kabaka, and that was something that needed to be sorted.

One of his aides then walked up to him. "Your Majesty," He said, before giving the deepest of bows. "His Royal Highness, the Isebantu, is here. Shall I send him in?"

"Yes, of course." Replied the Kabaka. And then the aide bowed, and let the room. Just a moment later, he came back with Isebantu Mutungi, the Waziri, his son. The Isebantu greeted his father, first with a deep bow, and then by shaking his hand.

"Father, Your Majesty." Isebantu Mutungi said. He was always direct, not much nuance. Something, of course, that he would surely improve upon his time as the Waziri. "We are here to discuss the idea of you paying a visit to Rosaria. I have been in communication with the Echani Foreign Ministry. A date has been agreed upon. What are the issues that you want to discuss? What should we make sure is on the agenda?"

"My son," Replied Kabaka Mwanga. "There are plenty of things that we need to do when we are in Rosaria. Of course, Castanya will have to be on the table- I'm not sure what exactly is happening there, and I have seen that a RTC train has been upended? That is not an good thing. The RTC is going to be howling in the ear of politicians both in Rosaria and Busukuma. And furthermore, more importantly, we simply need to strengthen the relations between Eshan and Banija. Banija is a stronger country now, thanks to oil revenues, and we need to make sure that we strengthen alliances with countries who were our allies before we were blessed with this prosperity. Real friends, as one might call it. The alliance with the Commonwealth, after the beautiful state visit to Belle Haven, is secured. The alliance with the Royal Kingdom of Quebec is secure. We need to ensure the same with the Echani Republic."

"Your Majesty," Said Isebantu Mutungi. "The renewal of relations between Eshan and Banija is a great goal. Is there anything specific that you want to come out of it? The idea of a trade agreement between Eshan and Banija is probably not the best idea, considering our wages still have to make significant progress to catch up with Echani wages. But the economic relations are blooming between our two countries. Echani investment in Banijan oil, Echani media investment in Banijan football, etc... "

"A trade agreement would be nice." Replied Kabaka Mwanga. "But the important thing, is simply renewing the alliance. It is ensuring that President Bennett and I have the same working relationship that President Bennett and my father had. But this meeting is going to happen. Be prepared- for we'll fly in a couple of weeks. It won't be like Belle Haven. It will just be me, you, and our wives. We do not need to bring your sons, not yet anyways. But be prepared. This is our most important flight since Belle Haven."

"Of course, Your Majesty." The Isebantu. They spoke about other things, briefly, that they'd talk about later. Elections in Chromatika. Rumors going around of a potential treaty with Siovanija & Teusland. REgardless, however, for the time being, everyone knew what was most important- nailing the trip to Rosaria.

[Pasarga]

Torgos Tribune ~ This Is What Is Left

Two years ago, the Wanderers did the unthinkable and managed to fail to qualify not just for the Finals but for the playoffs as a first seed in their qualifying group and were not given an invitation to the Cup of Harmony that followed after it. It was a monumental failure of the highest order and it came as no huge surprise when Mór Császár was relieved of his duties for such a failure. It was supposed to be a squad that was expected to run away with their group and be an outside chance of winning the World Cup as well, instead they could not even manage to qualify for the playoffs after the initial failure of not qualifying for the group automatically. What was expected to follow was a lot of introspection and reflection before moving on towards figuring out how to right what was the sinking ship of the Wanderers. However as fate would have it, that was not what was in store in the least for the national team following their disappointment, instead they were treated to something that was far from expected and may even offer a bit of hope towards the downtrodden fandom.

First came the Copa Rushmori, the tournament that the Wanderers had somehow inexplicably won two years prior despite a very underwhelming amount of media coverage following the team that had been competing in the tournament. Srđan Jakšić was unexpectedly appointed as the new manager of the Wanderers, which normally would have been a sure fire and easy pick but the Tani manager had just come off the worst campaign that the side had had in over a decade. A down on its luck national team getting a manager who seemed to be on the wrong side of history did not seem to be the match made in footballing cosmos that it might have been two years prior. However, perhaps spurred forward by having the competition hosted in the dual islands and a good amount of home support despite the poor performance, the side managed to go perfect through the group stages and scrape their way through the knockouts until they were once again lifting the trophy. A regional trophy does a lot towards calming an alarmed fan base and put some morale back into the team that they would be able to turn this around and only have the one poor cycle.

The next step was the Di Bradini Cup, a tournament in which the Young Wanderers are traditionally good in, but the side that was taken to the Eternal Empire was one that on the surface was very much lacking experience and one player did not even have a club at the start of the tournament. If you want to look at how good the side did, that same player was picked up by Euran side Revolutionaries before the end of the group stage, a side famous in Pasarga for developing their young talent into national teamers. It would be quite fair to say to keep an eye on Fulco Salas, he might be one for the future and might shore up what could be a troublesome position in rightback. However the side clawed their way through the knockout stages, having penalty shootouts and extra time in all the matches up into the Final, where they unfortunately were defeated by Bears Armed, though the ursines were definitely deserved winners. That being said, the Young Wanderers performed well above expectations and showed that Srđan Jakšić is able to work even without the best players and still get the results that the side needs to progress.

Finally there came the pre-Qualifying friendlies that the manager had picked out to get the side ready for the road ahead. With a marathon of a qualifying cycle this go around, a staggering twenty-two matchdays of football (of which the Wanderers will be playing twenty matches), the side had to get ready for the challenges that were ahead of them. To that end, the invited Darmen to the Stade de Torgos for a local Rushmori derby and agreed to travel to Qasden, both top 40 nations and very likely to be qualifying for the upcoming World Cup. It was a display of attacking beauty against Darmen, as Alexander Jager had a first half brace with the side going on to a four to one romp of their local rivals. In Qasden the side had went down early but managed to fight back and a goal from Mária Vöröss had the side emerge with a draw. The draw has not been exceptionally kind to the Wanderers, with the Farves and Drawkland in the group, making qualifying a very tough propisition despite their second seed status, as well as some decent lower ranked sides like Timuria and Polkopia. If the Wanderers do what they are supposed to, win at home and get draws on the road, then they should still emerge in a qualification spot, the worry comes if there are slip ups and if Srđan Jakšić can keep the players from falling into the same inconsistent pattern.

[Mustardy]

---

Nothing Out Of The Ordinary Please, We’re Mustardo
II. Generating A Satisfactory Plan After Some Moderately Disappointing News

---

ONE MONTH BWC*:

“They said what?!” cried the stately old woman sat straight-backed in the elaborate buffed-leather studded antique arm chair, at the head of the table. Whilst any of us reaching the age of this fine-looking and patently feisty matriarch would be well used to receiving moderately disappointing news, and consequently more than capable of demonstrating equanimous repose in such regrettable circumstances, the head of this small committee was clearly wrong-footed by the report just read to her shortly before elevenses when it was traditionally in keeping to be delivered of more pedestrian Notices and Asides of State.

“Well quite,” offered one of her companions, a noted dispenser of humble opinions, in support of the Chairwoman’s position. “And at ten minutes to eleven, at that.”

“No, no,” said the Chairwoman, “it’s not the time, it’s the content. Please, read the card again, Benny.”

The butler cleared his throat uncomfortably. He had a strong sense for unfolding uncomfortable moments, and disappointing news, and his intuition told him this could become a little… strained. A little… noisome. A little… well, you take the point. Things were not going to be entirely agreeable. The butler adjusted his multifocal half crescent glasses, and lifted the card into focal range, with a flourish and a stretch.

“Message reads: Diplomatic Corps message, comma, from our man in Cathair, stop. Local hack about to break big scoop, stop. We - I think this means us, ma’am - have exhausted all preposter, stop. Hindmost no longer first, comma, hindmost now hindmost, stop. Calculation has reliable source, stop. Message ends.”

“Is this a declaration of war?!” yelled The Wing Commander (his nickname, in tribute to his mustachios and the dramatic cut of his vocal jib) dramatically. He bashed the table angrily. Well that escalated quickly, thought the butler, who could usually predict how fast things would escalate, more quickly than I might have predicted.

The dramatic overreaction of The Wing Commander seemed to have a calming effect on the Chairwoman, who was always inclined to a more sedate response to national crises or foreign jibes and slurs.

“Mobilise the enforcement division of The Academy for International Relations; lets get some special operatives on the case. I want the calculation, the calculator, and the hack, full rendition authority by any means.”

When I say sedate, I am referring of course only to her bearing, not her reptilian situational management and decision-making processes. I pity the poor hack on the end of an Academy interview. The butler represses a small shiver. He clearly agrees with me.

For the first time since taking breakfast tea, one of the two incredibly Dapper Gentlemen, all quality tweed with luxurious silk detail and trim, an air of silent menace and death behind the eyes, joined in the discussion. His tone was conversational, and entirely threatening.

“Operation Mustard, ma’am? The team can be primed and embedded within a fortnight, entirely undetected”**

The chairwoman nodded gravely.

The butler swallowed nervously. Being in the same room as these two really was far too close for comfort.

“I suggest keeping the slapstick to a minimum, ma’am,” said the other Dead-Eyed Dandy, “they will be looking for a reaction - they won’t spot the straight guy foil.”

The chairwoman nodded gravely again. "Perhaps we should summon Basile."

Outside, a raven cawed furiously. The Wing Commander choked on his Earl Grey.

---

* Before World Cup
** Except by Schottia

THE UNCERTAIN TIMES
Mustardy Edition - Sports Section

---

BLIUJI NOT SURE WHETHER COMING OR GOING
But Awful Conditions In Bliuji Still Contribute To Poor Defeat For The Red Herrings

---

BLUIJI 2-1 MUSTARDY

Our Person in Prussia: Things were so bad in Bliuji - the transport, the training facilities, the pitch, the grammar and the capital city - that it was no wonder the Bliujian press were at pains to deny the match even happened in their own country, claiming to have won a poor game of football back in the scenic Principality we call home. [Typical propaganda from the run down state where the drug-addled sex-addicted bus drivers are not even checked for safeguarding before being given jobs on school buses. No wonder all the children there are traumatised]. But, amidst all denials and misdirections of the irresponsible Bliujian press, one thing that cannot be denied as Bliu hogwash is the result. Despite an unexpectedly strong start and an early lead through smiling assassin Stan Dereumaux, the Red Herrings were soon overrun and struggling to match their more experienced hosts.

When asked for his assessment of the game, coach Dik ten Beuenk admitted his bunch of amateurs were outclassed and out of their depth. "We gave the best we had in our lockers," he said, "but it was nowhere near enough. Still, we should be proud - and when the Bliujians come to us, we will at least have clean lockers. That is something they can learn from us. Oh, and how to read a fixture list."

[Vdara]

Nate Ellis: A Demon?

Vdaran fans across the world, especially those who attended the match in Hapilopper, are fuming at the actions of Nate Ellis, one of Hapilopper’s most hot headed bastards players.

During the 2-1 defeat to Hapilopper, Ellis took down Vdaran striker Alexis Fotellis with a method that could only be described as ‘unorthodox’ and ‘like that of a demon’, before making a gesture that implied him as even more of a shithead hot-headed player.

After the match, Fotellis had this to say about Ellis:
“He’s a twat! A complete and utter TWAT! How dare he take me down like that, he’s a demon, that’s what he is, a demon! Burn him like the ungodly sinner he is!”

Taking this quite literally, fans across Vdara have taken to burning effigies of Ellis, chanting “Burn the demon! Burn the demon!” over and over again. Churches and their followers say that they are ‘praying that God removes Ellis from this Earth with extreme wrath’, and that ‘sinners ain’t winners’.

Hapilopper’s next game against Vdara will be at the VdarArena, so Ellis should be prepared for a whole host of chanting and people wishing that he was dead.

[Busoga Islands]

The Busoga Chronicle
The Islands #1 News Source!

Big win for Busoga Islands to open World Cup Qualifying sets up massive fixture against Chromatika


Busoga Islander fans at Orange Field for a pre World Cup Qualification friendly

CHROMATIK CITY, CHROMATIKA- The Busoga Islands wanted to get off to a fast start to their World Cup Qualification campaign. Many believed that the Islanders would need to, considering the quality of the teams in their group. With only the top two making it to the Finals, it would be, rightfully, difficult to be able to be one of the teams playing in the World Cup Finals. And that meant the margin for error, especially for an aspiring Pot 4 side, was incredibly small. They needed to get off to a fast start, and beat the teams that they were supposed to beat. And that started with Northwest Kalactin. Ranked 218th, there was a clear disparity in the rankings. But still, a team like that could sneak up on you. Starfire spoke before the game about the importance of not looking past this game, just because a big game is looming.

Fortunately, the Busoga Islands took the advice of their manager. They won 3-0, and at Orange Field, they played with booming confidence and great organization, especially in the back. In the first half of the game, especially, they were particularly dominant, suffocating both in the back and getting forward. The first goal for the Busoga Islands came off of a corner kick. It was a bending ball in from Ibrahim Fatah, and the ball was headed, down towards goal, by Thakshak. The ball bounced up right near the goal line, the goalkeeper could not get down in time, and the picture perfect header bounced upwards into the back of the net. Orange Field, of course, exploded. Their lead was quickly 1-0, and they were well on their way.

The Busoga Islands continued to push, wanting to get a second goal. A 1-0 lead was good, especially when you started with it early, but it was by no means unassailable. They wanted to double their advantage, and truly show their fans that they had reason to have confidence in them. They pushed hard for it. Jay Khano was able to hit the post in the 22nd minute, but alas, it did not go into the net. Sarika Birla, in her first competitive start for the Busoga Islands national team, headed the ball towards the near post, and forced a great save from the Kalactin goalkeeper, in the 29th minute. But it was after that moment, when the Islanders would score again. Once again, of course, not from open play, but from the set piece. Another corner swung in by Fatah, and Thakshak, running towards the near post, flicked the ball with his head towards the far post. Ikshu Amitabh was sitting right there, and he tapped the ball into an empty net. Just like that, 30 minutes in, it was 2-0. Northwest Kalactin deflated. Islander fans jubilant.

In the second half, Northwest Kalactin tried to apply pressure, and actually had a decent spell of possesion to open the half. Hibbaan al-Shareef had to make a diving save at full stretch, with some serious difficulty, but the 32 year old showed that he still had it. Northwest Kalactin actually had another opportunity to score, when their forward was able to dribble around al-Shareef, who had been way off his line. When the attacker shot the ball, however, none other than Marie Sonko had hustled back, and a sliding goal line clearance earned her the applause of the sold out Orange Field. The Islanders would end up scoring again on a counter in the 65th minute. A ball intercepted by Channeh Jarju was quickly turned into offense, and it would be Kamu Jacobs, who had a stellar season at the club level for Rukunbi FC, who would bury the ball into the back of the net. The goal sucked the life out of Northwest Kalactin, and that was it for the night's scoring. 3-0 to the home side.

Starfire was happy with the performance. "You cannot complain about a 3-0 result that goes your way." Said Starfire. "But we cannot focus too much on this match. We have to go out and perform against teams like this, and we have. WE have done our jobs. This is just one game of 20, and our biggest matchups are ahead of us. Especially next week for Chromatika's home opener." And she, of course, is right. The Busoga Islands will travel to Chromatik City to take on a tough Chromatika squad, in a hostile environment. Chromatika just emerged from a hostile environment with all three points on hand. They traveled to the Main Nation Ministry, the group's Pot 2 side, and came out with a 2-1 victory.

"Their work in the Main Nation Ministry was quite impressive." Said Starfire. "I remember their heyday- they got all the way to fourth in the multiverse. They only lost one World Cup Qualifier between the 78th and 79th World Cup cycles- a loss to Banija, by a score of 2-1, in World Cup 79 Qualifying. That is their potential. This last win they had, that tough win, shows that they are getting back to where they should be. Chromatika is ascending. And that will make things tough for us. But to win on the road, we have to play together, we have to be single minded in our intent, and we have to truly believe in ourselves. And we do."

The Busoga Islands will have a tough challenge in Chromatik City. How to come away with points? It is tough to travel to Chromatika, with no direct flights from Lakiska or Dukuma. Fans will have to fly from either Islander airport to either Canterlot or Istria, and then, take the long flight to Ramusok, and then, fly to Chromatik City. BISA only believes that around 2,000 or so fans are even going to make the trip. Chromatika, of course, has an Equestrian in their upper management ranks, with Katherine Everdeen as their senior assistant manager. Equestrian managers are some of international football's hottest commodities, with the Freeport Isles, Banija, the Busoga Islands, and Equestria all being managed by Equestrians.

The Islanders aren't going to be able to grab this match by the throat, no. What they will have to do, is approach this game tactically. A 0-0 draw would not be a bad result for this away trip. Players like Hermaeus Mora are going to pose a particular challenge to this national team. But the Busoga Islands are capable of getting up field for a counter-attack. Sarika Birla can move quickly, and if they can get the ball to Kamu Jacobs on the wing, particularly, he has the kind of pace that can cut through a defense quickly, and open up all kinds of gaps. If they can defend well, and counter like their potential says they can, then anything's possible in Chromatik City.

This will surely be one of the most anticipated games in Group 7 in the first half of World Cup Qualifying. Go Busoga!

[Apox]

It's quite something in Apox to achieve a century of caps for the national team. Unlike many other nations, a player to have that level of longevity at the top is a rare occurrance, an honour bestowed on only the best players. There are many players who have participated in many great achievements, been called great in their own right, who have not reached the mark. A mark which James Palmisano, captain and legend would be getting to in the pre World Cup friendly against Eura. An appropriate game seeing as he played for many years in the country, joining up with his younger brother at Spartangrad and becoming the most expensive Apoxian player of all time in the process.

Such a game could only be held at the home of Apoxian football - the Stadium of Apox, a hulking mammoth situated just outside Dwile in the small town of Hyton. The hype had been massive in the days before the game, Palmisano's weathered face appearing on most marketing material going into the game. There had been a large faction within Gwinevra who argued that the game should be held at the no less impressive Barbaria, the ground where Palmisano had played most of his club games in Apox and where he still graced the field in the blue and yellow of Gwinevra Barbarians.

In reaching 100 caps he would become the sixth Apoxian to reach the mark and all those who had already achieved that honour who were still alive would be in attendance at the game to present the captain of the Apoxian side with his golden cap to mark the occasion. There was Kaj Aurora, the firey former left midfield legend in the national team, currently managing Parrhesia United in Nephara, somehow managing to side at the side despite a poor season after eventually taking the side up thanks to their mercurial talents. She was the most "junior" of the centurions, reaching 103 caps for the national side, and stood on the field in a dark grey suit, hair tied up into a ponytail, waving to fans of the team in the stands and generally enjoying soaking up the attention.

Tolgus Tregajorran was also there, Apox's most celebrated striker and the previous most expensive Apoxian before Palmisano took that accolade from him. The slightly more podgy figure of Tregajorran these days was the eccentric manager of an Exton F.C side who had largely failed to live up to early hype under there superstar manager. Despite having a history of bombastic press interviews, Tregajorran was less of an outgoing character and waving and smiling uneasily at the adoring fans in the stadium around him. His 64 goals to go with his 105 caps showed no signs of being overtaken any time soon, though current national team striker Marcy Blake-Tatum might have other ideas about that.

Jack Forster was one of the Baptism of Fire players for Apox, all the way back in Baptism of Fire 48 now, and the strong willed right defender has aged gracefully in the years since he hung up his boots, now 61, his grey and thinning hair combed slickly back, wearing a magnificent tailored blue suit and waistcoat - very much cutting the figure of an elder statesman in the group. His 106 caps had been a testament to his reliability at the back of the pitch and he looked pleased to be in the spotlight once again, now focused away from football as a climate change and sustainability activist.

Solomon Etezadi, the most capped Apoxian player with 135 and a former longstanding legendary captain rounded out the group, these days developing a reputation as a second tier firefighting coach alongside TV work. He looked the most tired of the group but nonetheless grinned and waved with the rest of them, his shaven head and darker features setting him apart from the rest of them, but really it was his skills on the football pitch which set him apart the most.

Of course, the biggest name of all was missing from the group - that of Olim Benzari. Another BoFer for Apox, legend on the pitch playing 115 times for the team and another longstanding captain, he then followed that with a spell as Urbanista manager before moving to the national team, his 48 games in charge pre-hiatus heralding one of the teams most successful periods, aside from the current team. Of course, after leading the team to their third Campionato Esportiva title, in CE16 and potentially the last game the national team would play, he suffered a heart attack during the trophy presentation and sadly past away in hospital afterwards. The friendly match was held on what would be his 63rd birthday.

The lights in the stadium dimmed and the stadium announcer came over the tannoy.

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the Stadium of Apox, site of a historic match today as Apox play against Eura in a pre-World Cup friendly" The crowd roared as the announcer continued,

"Not only are we witnessing a top level match between two of the best teams in the multiverse, but we are also here to celebrate one of the most successful players Apox has ever seen. That player, of course, is JAMES PALMISANO" The roar in the stadium intensified as Palmisano, in an Apoxian NT branded tracksuit walked out of the tunnel, with fireworks going off simultaneously. despite insisting that he wanted a low key affair to celebrate the occasion, the IFA had clearly taken a different path and Palmisano looked a little embarassed by the ridiculousness of it all.

"James will now receive a special golden cap from the surviving Apoxian players to reach the milestone, before we get todays game underway!" Palmisano had reached the centre-circle now where he was greeted by the four legends of the game, many of whom he had played with over the course of his career. Reaching the players, he shared a warm embrace with Kaj Aurora, who was an established player and mentor when he was starting out in the game. He politely shaked the proferred hand from Jack Forster and they exchanged some warm words, and grinned at Tolgus Tregajorran whose international career he had just missed overlapping with. Solomon Etezadi was the one handing him the commemorative cap, and the spoke for a minute of two, the two men being close friends, Palmisano taking over as captain of the side from Etezadi after the hiatus, partly based on Etezadi's firm recommendation.

And just like that, the presentation was over, without forgetting further gratuitous firework displays, Palmisano beating a hasty retreat off the field to join his team, gaining a few moments due to the slow walk off the pitch of the Apoxian Centurions Club, waving and smiling to the fans as they went.

APX 3-4 EUR Bond 5', Ephraim-Garza 11', Drawbridge 16', Townsend 53', Bond 56', Fletcher 67', Burns OG 81'
APX: Spitfire -- Fox, Scott, Gandhi, du Plessis (Vandermark 64') -- Drawbridge -- Townsend (Demetrius 74'), Palmisano, J. (c) (Blinkman 88'), Ephraim-Garza -- Quintero, Blake-Tatum
EUR: Belgrave -- Coles, Roberts, Blake, Burns -- Rowland, Armstrong (Bevan 65') -- Townsend, Coltrane (Woakes 74'), Griffiths -- Bond (Fletcher 65')

This game was billed as a friendly in all senses of the word, and while there was an amiable atmosphere on the pitch, make no mistake this was a hard-fought contest. Lunar Dusk's new formation is going to need some tweaking, particularly defensively, if this side is to harbour serious hopes of winning the World Cup trophy next year. The Eurans posed a fluid and aggressive challenge which exposed some chinks in the armour of this experienced side, with Brian Bond exposing this most patently earlier on, defensive incommunication between Eusebio Drawbridge and Osmosis Gandhi leading to the first goal. However, the offensive capabilities of the team were showcased minutes later, with all five attacking players being involved in Clarissa Ephraim-Garza's goal, and Eusebio Drawbridge's free-kick five minutes later gave the Apoxians an advantage going into the second half. This notion was dispensed with in the second half though, as a hat-trick of goal for Euran put the game beyond doubt, even despite Stanley Burns late own goal. James Palmisano, the man of the hour was substituted two minutes from time, in order to receive the applause of the crowd, and was clapped off by both teams as well - even if his milestone was not reached in the fashion he would have hoped for.

[Bears Armed]

Bears Armed vs. Appalachian Nation
Venue: , Appalachian Nation.
Score: 2 - 1.

Goals
Bears Armed (2): Barris (#7) @ 07’ (assist: o Sarndale [#5]), Fane (#12) @ 52’ (assist: Brent [# 11]).
Appalachian Nation (1): Robert (#5) ’42 (assist: Bubba [#10]).

Red Cards (none)
Appalachian Nation (0): (none)

Substitutions due to Injury
Bears Armed (0): (none)
Appalachian Nation (0): (none)

____________________________________________

Location: the city of Council Groves, and more specifically the [beehive-shaped] building that is home to that “great metropolitan newspaper” ‘The Bear Necessities’. That paper’s managing editor Berry White is in the Sports Newsroom, giving their report on the Bear-Belles’ victory over the team of Appalachian Nation a final look-over before it gets sent down to the typesetting department. He smiles as he sees the headline suggested:

BEAR-BELLES BEGIN BATTLE BOLDLY!

(Berry White)“Using the same headline as for our rreport on the Bear-Belles’ first-ever World-Cup qualifying match, hrright?”

(Jharrge Keeper, a Sports reporter)“Ayyuh, that’s hrright, Berry: Nice catch!”

(White)“Well, there is a copy of that page among the framed articles on the corridor wall just outside this room…”

(Keeper)“For true, but how often does anybearry take a close look at any of those, anyhows?”

(White)“Everybearry working here should do so, from time to time, to rremind themselves of our history...
“But the worlds have moved on a bit since then, so drop the word ‘BATTLE’, hokay?”

(Keeper)“Hokay, Berry, will do.”
He picks up a blue pencil, and crosses out that word.

Berry White sees a stack of papers under a weight at one end of Keeper’s desk.
“Hwhat’s that?”

(Keeper) “That? Oh, it’s the first section of BATA’s re-written guide for forreign visitors to ourr country. You agrred that I could write the section about our football stadiums to go into that, so they’ve sent me a copy of the bits that they currently intend to place before that…”

(White ) “Hr’mm.”
He picks it up, and starts reading…

Bears Armed: A Guide for Visitors

Bears?
Yes, mostly so, but thinking Bears who can speak as Humans do, who usually walk on their hind feet (and who have hands with opposable thumbs) rather than on all-fours, and who often wear clothes.
These Ursines are about 95% of the country’s population, with the remainder mostly divided (quite evenly) between Humans, Harr’aynau (who look more or less Human, but are who spiritually & culturally Ursine instead…), and the SmithFolk (who rather closely resemble the peoples whom some other nations know as ‘Dwarves’, but who reject that label…), and also with smaller minorities of talking [‘Giant’] Pandas, talking Badgers, talking Foxes (of three kinds); talking Ravens, talking Otters, and several other [and less numerous] Peoples as well.

However if you see somebody leading what appears at first glance to be a small Human around on a lead and very possibly unclad, or see such creatures displayed in any shop windows, don’t worry: Those aren’t real Humans being kept as domesticated animals, those are actually examples of our ‘national animal’ the Goldilocks which might be distantly related to Humans but are only non-sapient (and roughly comparable to monkeys in intelligence) and that comprise a separate species to which our country's biologists have given the binomial ‘scientific name’ of Yahoo aureatus.

Armed?
Sometimes, yes. That part of the nation’s name actually commemorates the nation’s origin as a defensive alliance, but a lot of people are part-time members of their Clans’ militias and might be carrying weapons around for that reason, people from certain groups tend to carry weapons of particular kinds because of their cultural traditions, and as there are no rules to forbid this some people might choose to carry weapons around just because they can…
Yes, visitors from abroad maybeso could obtain permission to carry “cultural” weapons of their own, but this would need to be negotiated in advance.

But the World Survey says?
For some reason, perhaps because its staff simply haven’t plucked up the courage to actually visit our country yet, that Survey’s report about this nation contains a number of glaring errors:

Firstly, we do have a national government — although admittedly one of rather limited scope — and aren’t by any means an ‘Anarchy’ as the report claims. Also, the various Clans & other ‘Confederated Bodys’ that collectively comprise this Confederation each have governments of their own that pass laws to apply within their own jurisdictions.
Secondly, our total population — for the ‘Mainland’ and ‘Northlands’ combined — is only around twenty million, rather than well in excess of twenty billion as the Survey ridiculously suggests.
Thirdly, those organised groups of armed Bears whom you might see going around on motorcycles aren’t just ‘biker gangs’ as the Report’s compilers have assumed, they are actually our traditional cross-Clan ‘Warrior Societies’ who are the closest thing that we have to a national police force… and they are generally respected, and even admired, rather than ”feared” [as the Survey erroneously claims] by the rest of our population. Riders from some of those Societies will, in fact, be helping to provide official security at both of our ‘home’ stadiums during this tournament for this contest: at Wimbley, both the ‘Bad News Bears’ Society and the ‘Big Bad Bears’ Society; and at NorthPort, the ‘Cold Warriors’ Society.

However that Survey is correct about the happy-go-lucky nature typical of our people, the stunningly high (especially for such an ‘advanced’ nation) quality of our environment, the presence here of many first-class museums and concert-halls, and the verrry low crime-rate.


Climate and Environment
The ‘Mainland’ section of our country, in which the main ‘home’ venue chosen for this tournament is situated, is landlocked and has uplands along large sections of its borders. Being located in the ‘middle latitudes’ and not too far from the seas, this means that it basically has a temperate climate of the ‘Cool Continental’ type: However the presence of the Long Lake moderates this slightly for the area surrounding the capital city ‘Council Groves’ which is where that ‘Wimbley’ stadium is situated. Your visit will be in the early Summer, so conditions around this location should normally be warm but not hot with rain fairly infrequent (and tending to be not over-heavy when it does fall) and other forms of precipitation unlikely. Most of the land in this section is well-wooded, right up to the tree-line, even around (and sometimes within) the farmed areas and the towns.

The ‘Northlands’ are situated rather further north than that, of course, but the influence of a warm current that flows up this region’s western edge helps to keep NorthPort — where our other ‘home’ stadium for this contest ’ is located—reasonably comfortable at this time of year as well: Visitors there can expect it to be cool but not cold, with light rain now & then and also occasional morning mists. Woodland is present in the more temperate areas, including the ‘Pale’ around your immediate destination, but in the Northlands as a whole there are also significant expanses of scrubland, heath & moor, high-altitude grassland, and a type of low vegetation called ‘Marrharr’ that occurs along some coastlines as well as on various of the many outlying islands.

Getting Here
Bears Armed is located in the ‘[region]International Democratic Union[/region’ region, and more specifically on the ‘Main Continent’ in the original ‘Reality’ where that international political organisation first claimed any territorial jurisdiction. Air travel over this nation is highly restricted, but there are open airports and operating airlines in neighbouring nations from which travel onwards is easy enough.
For Wimbley, you can fly into the Mainland’s western neighbour ‘Mikitivity’ and then ride their national railway across the border to travel-junctions a little way within Bears Armed where you would transfer to our own services: The most common mode of transport from those centres to Council Groves &Wimbley is the ordinary railway, but travellers in a hurry (and willing to pay a surcharge) could ride the faster‘railpane’ instead while for those who are willing to take more time about this trip there is the option of a sight-seeing cruise aboard a riverboat…
For NorthPort, easiest access is through the Northlands’ western neighbour ‘New Ceorana’: From their capital city, New Boston, you can journey on to NorthPort either by railway (although no ‘railplane’ option is currently available on that route) or by coastal shipping. Alternatively, you might be able to obtain passage by sea directly to NorthPort from some foreign seaports instead.

Entrance Restrictions
Legal entry into Bears Armed requires a visa, which may be obtained in advance either from one of our own consulates — if you have access to one of these — or through your own nation’s consulate here if it has one. They may also be obtained at any of the official ‘ports of entry’, although that will cause delays in your journey and is not recommended. National governments and approved organisations, such as Football Associations whose teams are due to play here, can arrange for visas on a ‘group’ basis (in the case of sports teams, to cover accompanying fans as well, if the organisers so choose…) as long as they are willing to accept a reasonable degree of legal responsibility for the actions of the people involved, and may even apply for the right to have any disputes that might arise amongst that group’s members whilst here — although not also any disputes that might arise between any of them and anybody from outside the same group — judged by their own officials instead of by ours.
We reserve the right to refuse entry to anybody who has been convicted of, or who is fleeing trial on charges of, certain serious crimes. People who are carrying contagious diseases and/or parasitic organisms that could spread to inhabitants of this country may also be barred from entry, except in the case of such mild ailments as the common cold.
Slavery is illegal within Bears Armed: any slaves who enter across our borders automatically become free people, and anybody bringing them here for any reason other than to free them is likely to face criminal charges.

Foreigners cannot legally sell any goods on a retail basis within Bears Armed unless they obtain trading licences beforepaw from the relevant local authorities: In the case of any would-be vendors who will be entering the country amongst the visitors to sporting competitions such consent is likely to be granted only for purveyors of either their own teams’ souvenirs ‘ethnic’ food &/or drink that would not otherwise be available locally, or items & materials significant for religions that are practiced among those visitors but not also locally.


Import Restrictions
Items in the following categories may not legally be brought within Bears Armed under any circumstances_
Nuclear weapons, biological weapons (if capable of harming sapient beings); zombies or any other form of corporeal ‘undead’ (whether or not they themselves are sapient).

Items in the following categories may only be brought into Bears Armed legally if a special permit has been obtained for this purpose, which would normally not be possible for casual visitors_
Chaos-tainted organisms; any foodstuffs (except milk) or other items that have been made wholly or partly from Bears, Pandas, Badgers, Foxes, Otters, and/or Orcas, whether sapient or not; any foodstuffs (except milk) or other items that have been made wholly or partly from or from sapient beings of any other kind;any foodstuffs (except milk) or other items that have been made wholly or partly from or from members of any ‘endangered’ species; biological weapons (not capable of affecting sapient beings) and chemical weapons (Exceptions apply in both cases for some medical treatments, insect-repellents, and so on: Ask for the separate, latest-updated list…); ‘military-grade’ weapons of other kinds, and armed vehicles; pyrotechnics, including flares; cages, traps, bile-tapping kits, torture implements; live wolves, rats, venomous reptiles, or creatures of any kind that that feed habitually upon bees; any livestock or organic material that is currently infected by parasitic or pathogenic organisms, or any other samples of such organisms; ‘Violetist’ literature &/or ritual paraphernalia; ‘grimoires’ concerning the summoning of demons and/or the production of ‘Undead’; members of ‘invasive’ species, and any material from which those could be [deliberately or accidentally] propagated; ‘low-alcohol’ or alcohol-free versions of any drinks that would normally be expected to contain significant levels of alcohol;“crooked” versions of gambling equipment.

Currency
The national currency of Bears Armed is based on the Thaler, which is nowadays a silver coin. Its main subdivisions are the ‘Shilling’, currently available in both silver (small) and bronze (large) versions, and the bronze ‘Penny’: Eight pennies = one Shilling, eight shillings = one Thaler. Coins may be issued by a number of different sources, and although the weights and purities for these three units are standardised across the nation the moneyers are allowed a greater freedom with respect to their designs and for whatever other denominations they choose to produce. Our currency is legally defined as ‘fully convertible’ into foreign moneys. If you don’t like the rates offered by one currency exchange then shop around and you might find a better one. Credit cards are now accepted by some hotels and other establishments, mainly ones in the largest & most cosmopolitan settlements, but it is advisable to check before trying to make a purchase.
And remember, that use of ‘Base-Eight’ numbering extends to most other uses of numbers here as well, so if you see a price written as ‘10’ then — you have been told specifically that Base-Ten is being used locally — then that actually means Eight rather than ‘Ten’ (i.e. Eight-and-two), and so on…

General Notes
Time
We measure time with a full day consisting of sixteen ‘Watches’ rather than twenty-four #Hours, with each Watch divided into sixty-four ‘Moments’ and each Moment into sixty-four ‘Instants’. In fact many inhabitants of this country still keep time according to sun-dials (with eight ‘Watches’ between sunrise & the following sunset… and, although of course they have to be measured in other ways, four more ‘Watches’ from then back around to the next sunrise), but in the more cosmopolitan cities such as those that will be hosting this tournament’s games conventional clocks — usually with ‘eight-Watch’ dials — are now quite common and time told according to these is understood by most of the locals. It is this “clock time” that will, of course, be used for all official purposes by the competition’s organisers. Leaflets containing watches-to-hours conversion tables (with the seasonal modifiers applied for sundial-derived values) in the areas to be visited are available from all Bears Armed Tourism Agency offices.

Religion
We have a relatively small Christian minority in this country (comprising about five percent of the total population), divided between several sects, and an even smaller Jewish one. The other religions practiced here are apparently all basically unknown abroad, except in some of the [relatively few] other nations that have Ursine elements in their populations. There is almost full freedom of worship for both locals and visitors, providing that the practices in question do not infringe upon anybody else’s rights: The only religions that are actually banned, on the basis that their followers generally do try to harm outsiders, are ‘Chaos’ cults and Violetism.
The local ‘Calvinist’and ‘Greek Orthodox’ Christian churches, and Jewish synagogues, are of course open to foreign members of the relevant faiths as well as to native ones. (Visitors are advised that the‘Roman Catholic Church — Nova Assisi’ which also exists in this country and whose churches are also usually open to respectful visitors is not the same sect as any other ‘Roman Catholic Church’ that exists outside of this region.)
Followers of any other legal religion should find it possible to book premises for use as temporary centres.

Etiquette
Bears tend to favour direct speech, but people are advised not to start throwing insults around unless they’re willing to defend their words. Remember, there is a good reason why “An armed society is a polite society”. Also, the courts in many jurisdictions here are allowed to accept genuine provocation as full mitigation for acts of violence.
Pregnant females and females accompanied by children, of any sapient species, normally have the right of way over everybody else… and visitors should probably give them somewhat more space than they would do back home, especially if they are accompanied by adult males, too.
If a local says something along the lines of “I smell you” or “I smell that” then he is probably just using the verb ‘To smell’ in the sense that most Humans would use ‘To see’ instead, rather than implying that you have a particularly strong or bad odour.
Clothing is generally optional in most parts of Bears Armed (although generally advisable for Humans in the Northlands, or in winter), at least as long as you don’t have a disfiguring ailment of the skin, hair or fur, but in the more cosmopolitan cities it will usually be worn by most people except perhaps young cubs… and of course certain religious groups may well object to public nudity within their own jurisdictions: If in doubt, ask first…

Law
If visitors behave according to common sense then they should be okay here. Relatively few things are illegal anywhere in Bears Armed that wouldn’t also be illegal in most other countries too, at least as long as you accept all sapient beings as having the same rights that Humans do (which you really should if you’re going to come here), and allowances for genuine ignorance might be made in the event of foreigners’ minor transgressions against more-‘local’ rules anyhows.

____________________________________________

b]OOC Footnotes[/b]

‘BATA’ is the ‘Bears Armed Tourism Authority, which has been mentioned in my RP before this but not recently…
The neighbouring nation of ‘ Mikitivity’ unfortunately CTEd some years ago, as far as the OOC situation is concerned, but I have kept its continued existence as part of the Bears’ IC canon not only to keep these convenient routes open but also because of some shared RP that I’d rather not see potentially retconned away if I had to acknowledge an OOC-newer nation as IC “having aways been there”[i] instead.
The [i]‘railplane’ mentioned as a possible transport option for visitors is basically similar to the RL [url=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bennie_Railplane]‘Bennie Railpane’[/ur] concept, but scaled-up to fit Ursine passengers.
An earlier version of this document did appear in my earlier Sports RP too, but it’s just been substantially re-written OOC as well as IC.

[New Lusitania and the Algarves]

STL|Serviços de Transmissão Lusitana
Sport | Football|
World Cup 83

THE ROAD TO WORLD CUP 84

CASSADAIGUA - The draw for the World Cup 84 draw was conducted this week. Although there were a few logistical problems this year, both Cassadaigua and Baker Park's efficiency in resolving them proved that they were well appointed. There are the usual known nations, but the IDU also makes an appearence with Bears Armed. The format chosen to deal with the new influx of Nations was fifteen groups of eleven teams, resulting in twenty games for all over twenty-two matchdays. The top two teams of each group will progress this time around and the rest will basically compete for the usual thirty-two Cup of Harmony seats for some chance at some other glory.
Usually there's one group or another that will look easier or more like a Group of Death. This however wasn't particularly the case this time with an even draw providing certain thrills when the qualifiers commence.

So, who are New Lusitania's opponents?

Apox (WR:12)
Last Edition: Round of Sixteen
Last Tournament: Semi-Finals
New Lusitania's top seed is Apox who needs no introduction. The side have never actually won the World Cup, but they've been at it for a while now (their first entry was back in 61), their best was indeed only a Round of Sixteen but they've been unlucky. In the previous World Cup, they lost to Vilita in extra time by a single goal. Their biggest claim to fame though is their three Esportiva championships they have to their name, the last one being all the way back in the 16th edition, with their latest efforts ending in the semis against hosts Xanneria on penalties. The IFA went absent for a few entries (75-77) meaning they started from scratch and yet they seem to be arguably in one of their greatest generations of players. They'll be a tough nut to crack and spectators are in for a cracking game of football when this fixture comes around.
(NLA Venue: Estádio Nacional do Jamor, Jamor - 70 000)

Ko-oren (WR: 22)
Last Edition: Round of 16
Last Tournament: AOCAF, Round of 16
Ko-oren are the second best seed up the pecking order and won't be easy either. In fact they probably have the best chance of beating Apox and qualifying with the aforementioned. The Dragonfly Nation has never met the Selecção either but their usual appearence in competitions makes them known. Ko-oren belongs to Atlantian Oceania and their last completion was this year's AOCAF, where they finished in the Round of Sixteen after being beaten by Farfadillis (1-0). At the World Cup last time out they finished top of group M in qualifying above Eura by six points. After qualifying from Group D in the finals' groups, they went home in the following round after losing out to Valanora. They have the mentality, the players, the experience they need to get to the finals again but New Lusitania will be hoping this is finally their year...
(NLA Venue: Estádio Nacional do Jamor , 70 000)

Eshan (WR: 68)
Last Edition: Qualifiers - Group P, 4th
Last Tournament: AOCAF, Round of 16
Unlike some previous Pot 4 teams, Eshan and New Lusitania are around the same level if you look at the previous World Cup performances. It was a sub-par edition for the Selecção, yes but Eshan seems to be rising once more and they have a great opportunity with New Lusitania to show this exactly. It could be a damaging fixture for the Lusitanians, more than others on paper.
(NLA Venue: Estádio de Nervião, Sevilha, 50 000)

Eraman (WR: 78)
Last Edition: Qualifiers - Group K, 3rd
Last Tournament: Cup of Harmony, Group Stage - Group G
We only really see Eraman in the World Cup as like New Lusitania, they do not belong to any major sporting region. New Lusitania will make the odd appearence in the IA unlike the nation in question. Either way, World Cup 83 was rather successful moment in their football history finishing third in their group. In a group with South Covello and Omerica anyone will consider it that way. This led to their appearence in the Cup of Harmony where they didn't get the best of results finishing 4th in an extremely tough group including the Main Nation Ministry and Brusseldorf, both in form. They may sound like Eshan and they may be confused for one another due to the E but Eraman still has a say in what goes on and they too will aim high in this world cup.
(NLA Venue: Estádio da Anta do Dragão, Porto, 55 000)

Grod Island (WR: 95)
Last Tournament: Qualifiers, Group S - 3rd
Many might still ask "Who?" but Grod Island is no minnow. Admittedly against expectations, Grod Island finished 3rd in their group, four points off more experienced team Tinhampton. They lost as many as they had won and drawn (4 in 12) but Grod is one of those stories that proves that with enough belief teams can go places in a very short period of time. Despite all of this, Grod Island were one of those that the invitational panel did not deem good enough to enter the Cup of Harmony that cycle. Here however they're in the middle table of the ranking already in the top one hundred. Like most in the group they can do big things to big teams and it's one of those that'll be interesting to see how they get on this time.
(NLA Venue: Estádio de Coimbra, 47 000)

Barfleur (WR: 252)
Last Tournament: Baptism of Fire, Quarter-Finals
Mind the gap. There's a one hundred place gap between Grod and Barfleur. The nation in question has started recently entering the Baptism of Fire this cycle in which it all went respectably well as they reached the quarter finals in Zwangzug. As is usually the case unless you're one of the few people who are extremely interested in the competition, you will not know anything about them just as most don't have much information on their football as a whole. It's one of those usual question marks which will have to be unconvered.
(NLA Venue: Estádio da Pedreira, Braga , 42 000)

Aldaveria (WR: 283)
Last Tournament: Baptism of Fire, Group Stage
Aldaveria also came in through the Baptism of Fire. Unlike Barfleur, Aldaveria went home in the group stages, meaning there's only six games to base anyone's view on them. They won half of them and lost the others, conceding more than they have scored. However, who knows what they can do in the long run.
(NLA Venue: AlgarveArena, Algarve, 40 000)

ZSeperatists (WR: 330)
Last Tournament: Baptism of Fire, Group Stage
ZSeperatists also participated in the last Baptism of Fire, but out of the three teams in this group had the least succesful. They only managed one win. It will also be the third and fourth time they play Barfleur, so they may have an advantage in that game.
(NLA Venue: Estádio do Conquistador, Guimarães, 42 000)

Tarchusland (WR: N/A)
Last Tournament: N/A
There's always an unknown, this time it's Trachusland, an unranked nation experience. Only time will tell in this case. It wouldn't be the first time an unexperienced nation proves itself a good opponent, so who knows what could happen in this case.
(NLA Venue: Estádio Dom Dinis, Leiria, 35 000)

New Lusitania, currently ranked 50th, reached the Cup of Harmony's group stage last time in what was a turbulent period for the Selecção. Victor Santa Cruz has just about managed to keep his job for now and with World Cup 84 he hopes to finally do something of note on the multiverse stage. Pedro Carvalhosa, representant of the FLF in Cassadaigua's draw, He added that "no group was particularly easy this year and it's pretty much around the same situation for all, so it'll be a good qualifiers edition".
Watch it all unfold live on STL, during the course of World Cup 84.

[Squornshelan Remnant States]

SRS Callups for MD1-MD3

GK: Kinner Mustahil, Kulap Erer
LB: Djabgor Dzarkhin, Gisa Tuvas
RB: Janar Delu, Reuter Storsjo
CB: Zemen Ystrad, Skumantas Nakhutin, Roffen Ritschl, Terun Cadash
LM: Lavanya Naqvi, Izoni Hocij
RM: Eyob Zonde, Ezuri Thiel
CM: Danin Stolp, Jirar Lomidan, Arlo Damot
ST: Jurzse Bedesnjak, Lyzolda Petrov, Mareth Erseburg, Brion Stienno

Three Things
An Inauspicious Beginning
Salwan Mynhier

The Black-and-Reds start off qualifying with what appears on paper to be an easier three matches, and Donnell's callups look to take advantage of that to try out some new players, but their tournament has started with a bit of a thud, held scoreless by KPB #146 Flavovespia and forced to settle for a single point. The defense was predictably solid, but the attack was largely ineffectual against a well-organized Flavovespian defense. Here are Three Things that stood out to me about the match.

Tearing up Superleague defenses doesn't necessarily translate to goals for the national team.
While there is still a lot of football to be played in this qualifying tourney, the first trial for the quartet of rising Superleague strikers was less than successful. Donnell called up none of her usual suspects up front, opting instead to test out some of the unexpected names from the top of the scoring charts. Against Flavovespia, she opted to start Syneca's breakout star Lyzolda Petrov in her home stadium, alongside Chalesm standout Jurzse Bedesnjak and Mareth Erseburg of Emerald Coast. It was an awkward fit: Petrov and Erseburg are both accustomed to playing with a particular forward partner with whom they enjoy excellent chemistry, while Bedesnjak is the feature in the attack for his club. The midfield also looked a bit out of sorts, with Hocij and Zonde looking isolated out on the wings, and Lomidan apparently unable to effectively bring other players into the attack. Delu and Zonde did have some good interaction down the flank, but were generally unable to link up with anyone in the middle of the field. To be fair, the adjustment to playing at an international level is going to be difficult for any player. One wonders if it might have been a good idea for Donnell to not go quite so whole-heartedly for the trial roster, and worked a few of her regulars in between the newbies.

The Black-and-Reds are deeper than the sea at center back
No Tervi Oleb, no Rudi Dalso, no problem. Donnell opted to lean on Ystrad and Nakhutin for the qualifying opener, and it worked out just fine. The attack may have been sputtering most of the match, but the back four kept things pretty well locked down in front of Mustahil. Ritschl off the bench is more of an unknown quantity, but we should get a look at what he can do against Mustardy or VH&C, likely playing with Ystrad. You also have to factor in leaving very capable, if somewhat older players like Dymek Raktsov and Ortzi Perparim off the list entirely, and a number of other players like Terun Cadash and Varna Ahlzweig making their names known for their league play. This depth will be important, as both Ystrad and Nakhutin picked up yellow cards, and Ystrad in particular will not have made many friends among Flavovespians, as there were several tackles of his that caused considerable protest by the visitors before he was eventually booked late in the match for persistent fouling. Nakhutin's card came on a corner kick when his carelessly swinging arm impacted solidly with Terence Daley's nose. The striker was a bit shaken up, understandably, but able to continue after a moment's attention from the team doctor. Nakhutin expressed his apologies in a post-match interview, though that is unlikely to shield him from the ire of some supporters. In any case, it seems clear that one or both of Ystrad and Nakhutin will miss time for accumulation of cards. Ritschl and Cadash will need to be ready to go.

Chemisty might be an issue
Donnell's team is at an awkward point of transition. The class of players who debuted back in the WC81 cycle are starting to reach the ends of their international careers, and tough decisions are ahead about who their successors should be. Donnell has the unenviable task of trying to balance playing her best lineup to win matches, and evaluating new players' ability to perform on the international stage. It remains very early in qualifying, but the team as currently assembled clearly needs some more work together. There were entirely too many misplaced passes, mistimed runs, and set pieces gone altogether awry. Donnell may need to be a little more expressive and, shall we say demonstrative, than her usual laid back style to impress the urgency of the situation to her team. Even though their first two opponents were inferior opposition on paper, the game isn't played on paper. This team will need to execute much better if they are to take full points, as is their expectation, from the next two matches.

Speaking of the next matches, the Black-and-Reds will visit the Principality of Mustardy to battle the Red Herrings on matchday two. At least, I'm fairly certain we will be visiting them to play at Johann Speck Nationalstadion. The sporting press from Bliuji seemed equally certain of that, however, despite the fact that their match was evidently played in Bliuji. Between Mustardy, Speck, and Herrings, our next opponents have quite the culinary theme going. I have to wonder if toast points, cornichons, and charcuterie plates will be available at the stadium. I certainly hope so, Mustardy sounds like a delicious place to visit.

SRS Qualifying Schedule:

MD1:  SRS 0-0 Flavovespia @ Synesoft Arena (cap. 38,600), Syneca, Sivolvia, SRS
MD2:  Mustardy v SRS @ Johann Speck Nationalstadion (cap. 8,923), Héronne, Mustardy 
MD3:  SRS v Vakolicci Haven and Celeria @ Pheldagriff Stadium (cap. 45,620), Yassaca, Sivolvia, SRS
MD4:  South Covello v SRS @ Revolution Stadium, (cap. 42,000), Riverview, SCO
MD5:  SRS v Qasden @ Flanoi Arena (cap. 50,350), Traal, East Flania, SRS
MD6:  Filindostan v SRS @ Filindostan National Stadium (cap. 70,000), San Marco, Kabishawan, FID
MD7:  SRS v Furby Island @  Ralph Wilson Memorial Stadium (cap. 48,700), Han Dold City, Han Dold, SRS
MD8:  Bliuji v SRS @ TBA
MD9:  BYE
MD10: SRS v Ziwana @ Emerald Coast Colosseum (cap. 31,200), Vassilian, Algolia, SRS
MD11: Mitra and Soma v SRS @ TBA
MD12: Flavovespia v SRS @ TBA
MD13: SRS v Mustardy @ Overburg Arena (cap. 46,222), Damogran, Algolia, SRS
MD14: Vakolicci Haven and Celeria v SRS @ TBA
MD15: SRS v South Covello @ Raftel Park (cap. 59,870), Chalesm, Megabrantis, SRS
MD16: Qasden v SRS @ TBA
MD17: SRS v Filindostan @ Slavnarzeczpospolitastadion (cap. 61,230), Lublova, Molvania, SRS
MD18: Furby Island v SRS @ TBA
MD19: SRS v  Bliuji @ Chernov Stadium (cap. 57,600), Viltvodle, Megabrantis, SRS
MD20: BYE
MD21: Ziwana v SRS Izula National Stadium (cap. 55,750)
MD22: SRS v Mitra and Soma @ Henkmar Field (cap. 29,850), Brasta, Sivolvia, SRS

[Free Republics]

Sister Polus's Thoughts

Hello and welcome to tonight's edition of Sister Polus's Thoughts on the WOLF News Channel. I am Sister Maria Polus. I am the head of the Ecumenical Coalition for Morality and the superintendent of the ECM School System, the largest school system in the Free Republics with over 7 million students from all over the multiverse who receive the highest quality of education at no cost to them or their families (OOC: For Republican students, the school accepts vouchers. The Church of Saintland, for which the ECM is a thinly veiled front group, pays for the enrollment of all international students.). We are currently accepting enrollments for next year. Today, I am broadcasting live from Freedom City, South Covello where I've been recruiting students for ECM schools.

Recently, the World Cup started. I saw some of the Free Republics match. Dragutin Perkovic scored both goals for the Republicans. While they started slow and went into the half scoreless, they would break through early in the second half and then Perkovic would score his second goal with about 15 minutes to go to secure the victory. I also watched the stellar defensive performance by the team from my homeland of Saintland. They did the Kingdom proud with a disciplined performance to secure a point against the heavy favorites from Devonta in a scoreless draw.

Before I continue onward, I need to address the matter of a journalist from Sporting World who recently printed the wrong name for this program in her magazine. Rachelle Rocher is the new Republican National Team match reporter for Sporting World and, in her preview piece, she quoted me. While I appreciate that, she also claimed that I am the host of a program entitled Sister Polus's Thots. That's T-H-O-T-S, not T-H-O-U-G-H-T-S. For those who are not aware of the latest slang amongst teenagers, a T-H-O-T thot is a sexually loose young lady. It is, of course, not the name of this program and it was a rather unfortunate mistake for this young journalist to make. But nonetheless, let me tell you what I think about thots while I have the chance: I think thots need proper guidance to become proper young ladies. At ECM schools, we provide the guidance that your thot of a daughter needs to turn into a decent woman who marries a good man who works hard to make lots of money, makes his life easy by taking care of the household drudgery and has lots of cute little grandchildren with him. That is why you should entrust your daughters to us because we want every young lady to become a proper lady whom we can all be proud of.

---

Sister Polus had gone into her monologue right in the middle of the street in the South Covellan capital. As she finished her rant about thots, a teenage girl tossed a pie right at her face. She didn't notice and got pied in the face on the air. Realizing that Sister Polus was about to go ballistic, master control at WOLF News immediately cut to a commercial as one of Polus's cameramen began running after the girl. Pandemonium had broken out on the streets of Freedom City...

---

Sporting World

Now you can go to the TJUN-ia match and Get yourself a date on Mingle!
By: Rachelle Rocher

Today, Mingle CEO Pamela Payne announced that the popular dating app would be setting up kiosks at the MingleDome to help busy soccer fans install the popular dating app. According to the press release, "At Mingle, we want to help everybody find love with likeminded people, including soccer fans. Therefore, we will be offering assistance with installing our popular dating app and we will also be setting up single fans on dates at the game."

Mingle's plan to set up fans on dates will include an initiative to only match fans with other fans in attendance at the game. In order to facilitate the kind of casual sex that the app is famous for facilitating, the MingleDome has been outfitted with private "pleasure rooms" that will be available to any couples that match via Mingle during the game.

Given that TJUN-ia is likely to lose the match quite decisively and thus their fans will likely need to get laid tonight to take their mind off of their national team's humiliating defeat, Mingle will even be providing an option to only match with other fans of the same team or even to only match with other fans of the opposite team if you're inclined towards sadism or masochism. Any Mingle users who falsely identify which team they support will be banned as part of the app's "Zero Tolerance for Lying on your Profile" policy.

Let us know in the comments if you're planning on attending the match and whether or not you'll be using Mingle.

Rachelle Rocher is Sporting World's new international soccer correspondent. Rachelle is a recent graduate of Petrograd Republic University and was a high school soccer star for Petrograd Christian. After tearing both of her ACLs in a game during her freshman year at Petrograd Republic, she realized she'd never be the same player again. Realizing that she would have to give up her dreams of becoming a professional player, Rachelle became the chief soccer correspondent for the Petrograd Republic Chronicles, the official newspaper of the university. Her coverage of Petrograd Republic, Petrograd Christian and Petrograd United matches brought her to the attention of Nova Hellstrom-Hancock, who recommended her to Sporting World's new editor Gloria Trentini.

[South Covello]

Press Conference, City Hall, Freedom City:

Haley Barnes: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, my name is Haley Barnes, that's H-A-L-E-Y B-A-R-N-E-S, and I am the Mayor of Freedom City. With me here is Freedom City Police Chief Moose Wolf, that's M-O-O-S-E, W-O-L-F. We have additional information about a well-publicized incident that occurred today. Specifically, we have identified the young lady who threw a pie in the face of Maria Polus, a citizen of the Free Republics. That woman is Patricia Lawrence of Knobville. At approximately 2:00 PM this afternoon, Ms. Polus was recording a live episode of her TV show, "Sister Polus's Thoughts" on the streets of Freedom City, when Ms. Lawrence approached Ms. Polus and threw a pie in her face. The pie, I can report, was a banana cream pie which was received for free from Pieter Pieper, owner of Pieter's Pie Shop in Riverview. After Ms. Lawrence threw the pie in Ms. Polus's face, she ran away and was pursued by Richard Jett, a cameraman for the Wolf Network, a Republican broadcasting network, who proceeded to punch Ms. Lawrence in the face several times. Shortly thereafter, Freedom City Police intervened and arrested both Ms. Lawrence and Mr. Jett. I will now turn it over to Chief Wolf for further details on the arrest.

Moose Wolf: First of all, let me clarify that I am no relation to the Wolf Network in the Free Republics. Second, let me talk about the incident at hand. Upon arrival at the local precinct, Ms. Lawrence confessed to arresting officers that she had pied Ms. Polus in the face, stated that she would do so again if she had the chance, and revealed the source of her pie. She stated that if the case went to trial, she would assert that her actions were protected free speech, and furthermore, that they were in defense of freedom. Rather than turn the trial into a referendum on Sister Polus and whether her actions are an assault to liberty, police released her without charge. We will shortly hear from City Prosecutor Henry Oldsman, who made that decision, but Mr. Oldsman is still on route to the City Hall and I am told he is stuck in traffic due to construction. As for Mr. Jett, he was arrested and charged with assault in the first degree, a crime potentially punishable by up to a year in prison. I will defer comment on what sentence will be sought to Mr. Oldsman once he arrives.

Henry Oldsman arrives on the press conference dais

Moose Wolf: Here he is now. I will turn it over to Mr. Oldsman.

Henry Oldsman: As Chief Wolf has explained, my office made the decision not to prosecute Patricia Lawrence for assault as we felt a trial would not be likely to succeed. We saw from the trial of Jacob Brackers that asserting one's actions were necessary to preserve freedom and liberty can work when murdering an individual who is seen as a tyrant and threat to freedom, and while Ms. Polus does not have the power that Mr. Redwin would have, Ms. Lawrence's actions were accordingly less severe. Had she killed Sister Polus, we would likely press murder charges. However, we felt we would not be able to prove that the harm caused by pieing Ms. Polus outweighed the threat to freedom caused by allowing her to continue preaching her hate and threats in our country. We will not comment at this time on the merits of Ms. Lawrence's argument, only that we felt we would not be able to meet the burden of proof required to by law. As for Richard Jett, he is currently being held in the city jail. We have offered him a plea deal through his attorney where he agrees to pay a fine of 1,000 liberos, pay an additional 1,000 liberos as compensation to Ms. Lawrence, leave the country, and refrain from reentering South Covello ever again. If Mr. Jett does not accept our offer, we will proceed to trial and seek the maximum sentence. If he should accept our offer and return to South Covello anyway, he would face potentially 15 years in prison and a fine of 250,000 liberos for illegally entering our country. Although some have called upon us to press charges against Ms. Polus for inciting a riot, we will not do so at this time and Ms. Polus is free to continue preaching her hate, leave the country, and so on. However, should she continue to preach her hate in our country, she should be prepared to suffer the consequences from private citizens. Although the government cannot legally interfere with protected speech, private citizens such as Ms. Lawrence are free to do so if they see fit. We will now take questions from any media present. Please state your name and your organization before you ask your question.

Caroline Nordy: Caroline Norby here from the Riverview Tribune, will Pieter Pieper face any charges for encouraging people to pie individuals such as Ms. Polus?

Henry Oldsman: I will answer that. No, we are not considering charges against Mr. Pieper. As with Ms. Lawrence, we believe we would be unable to sustain such charges against a defense of necessity. Additionally, prosecuting Mr. Pieper would present jurisdictional issues as his statements were made in Riverview.

Caroline Nordy: As a follow-up, is he facing charges in Riverview?

Henry Oldsman: You would have to ask the Riverview authorities that, I don't know.

Don Breen: Don Breen, FreedomCityNews.net. What is the extent of Ms. Lawrence's injuries?

Moose Wolf: Ms. Lawrence is fine, she was examined by medics at the scene to check for a possible concussion but I am told she was cleared. Beyond that, due to medical privacy laws, I cannot comment on the situation.

Don Breen: And was Sister Polus injured by the pie?

Moose Wolf: No, Ms. Polus is fine. She just cleared the pie off her face and was fine.

Henry Oldsman: And the lack of injury to Ms. Polus is one of the reasons we declined to press charges against Ms. Lawrence.

Don Breen: But you pressed charges against Mr. Jett despite Ms. Lawrence suffering no apparent injury?

Henry Oldsman: There is no possible justification for Ms. Jett's actions. Ms. Lawrence attacked a hate-filled bigot. Mr. Jett attacked a freedom fighter. There is a huge difference.

Paul Underwills: Paul Underwills, Tox News. To be clear, are you calling Ms. Lawrence a freedom fighter for the record?

Henry Oldsman: You heard what I said, didn't I?

Paul Underwills: Will you say, for the record, "Ms. Lawrence is a freedom fighter"?

Henry Oldsman: You heard what I said, didn't you? Stop trying a gotcha quote.

Paul Underwills: So while you're discussing things you have no idea about, how is President Benitez going to pay for free college for people?

Henry Oldsman: That has nothing to do with this press conference.

Paul Underwills: And why are you not giving Sister Polus a medal for promoting Christianity?

Henry Oldsman: I think you know the answer to that.

Paul Underwills: No, please tell us.

Henry Oldsman: I'm done feeding a troll like you. You're a disgrace. Your network is a disgrace. You were the only network in our country that supported Carter Redwin, you simulcast Sister Polus's toxic waste of a program, shame on you.

Paul Underwills: So now we know what you really think of us.

Henry Oldsman: Yes, you do. Now this press conference is over. Because you have ruined it for everyone else. Good bye.

[Kelssek]

Kelssek 3-4 Ethane // Fightback falls short as visitors hold on at the Ex

It was a thrill ride at Exhibition Place that ended with a sudden lurch as Kelssek fought back to equalize twice only for Ethane to put themselves ahead. Ethane’s Headley finally grabbed the winning goal at 87 minutes to consign Kelssek to defeat in the opening match of World Cup 84 qualification.

François Saint-Louis seems to have avoided trying to rewrite the team’s tactical approach, and it was Kirk McDonagh’s familiar attempt to control the midfield, recycle possession, and overturn oppressive hierarchy that greeted fans from the kick-off. But the bright start crumbled when Damien Halliger uncharacteristically lost out in an aerial duel to put Hope through on goal. Ethane then raced to a 2-0 lead when Hope scored again on 33 minutes.

Saint-Louis was not going to throw in the towel in his first match in charge, and he seemed to have galvanized the team at half-time. In a risky tactical switch to three-at-the-back, Patrice Champetier was brought on for Tim Bowler to give the attack more options up front.

Kelssek were finally able to sustain some attacks and the crowd was brought to life when Brayden Custworth scored and then Shaheen Taleb equalized. But Ethane went ahead again five minutes later through Underwood. Patrice Champetier's diagonal run cut through the defence and levelled the score again with nine minutes left. A determined effort on defence could not stop the pushback, however, and Headley's decisive strike had an air of inevitability around it.

Kelssek: Poirier, Liadon, Halliger, Pokorný, Bowler (Champetier 45’), Demetriev, Tremblay-Fillon, Dionne, Lapierre (Ó Tuathil 64’), Lister (Taleb 60’), Custworth
Ethane: roster not available
Possession: KSK 46% - ETH 54%
Goals:
KSK: Custworth 56’, Taleb 67', Champetier 81'
ETH: Hope 19', Hope 33’, Underwood 72', Headley 87'

Next match: Razneta (A) (unranked), form: L
Razneta were beaten 4-1 by Valanora, but a lot of teams get beaten by Valanora so this still isn’t useful information. But it looks like they won't be in a war when we get there, which is probably a good thing.