Nesrin sat in the chair in the manager's office in their training facility which he had kindly given to her for the exercise in futility that seemed to insist on lasting forever. Worn out from the day's work of trying to parse what the issue is with the team. She had already gone through 10 of the players and was ready to resign because of the sheer level of dysfunction each had shown. It was as if they needed their homeland's permissive culture to even be able to focus on playing football. Her latest patient was the winger Caner who was explaining his trials in this tournament.
"I guess I just don't like the way every move I make is so closely watched and being here has just made me realise that on the pitch that's exactly what's happening."
"So you know that people watch football matches?" She asked raising an eyebrow.
"Yes I'm not stupid it's just that usually I can put it out of mind." He explained. "I don't know maybe it's just being somewhere that feels so different."
Nesrin looked over her notes and bit her lip as she tried to figure out how to coax a useful comment from him, "Would you say that when you played for the national team before... you expected big things from yourself?"
Caner shifted and looked over confused. "Of course, but I was never the starter. I had to do it all from the bench. Then I started in the qualifiers and we did pretty good." He trailed off as he thought back.
"But then." Nesrin began, "People began to have expectations for you and this isn't all in your hands is it?"
Caner looked down, "Maybe not."
"Think about it like this. You can only do as well as you can. There are 21 other players on the pitch. Sometimes things can't go your way."
Caner nodded as he looked up to meet her gaze, "I suppose that makes sense."
Nesrin looked over the notes and decided to press on, she had to speak to the next player very soon, "So what's this about the caffeine addiction?" She asked as Caner visible rubbed his forehead. This was going to be a long final stretch of the day.
***
Nesrin sighed as the backup goalkeeper looked at her, he had not been terribly forthcoming whenever she had attempted to ask any question of substance. Clicking her pen in frustration she assertively stated, "So you just have issues opening up?"
Iskender looked startled at her directness, "N-no where would you get that idea?"
"The lack of talking during your team mandated therapy session."
"Look I just don't think that my problems should be anyone else's okay? it's nothing personal." He said looking around the room to distract himself and pass the time.
"You're here anyway and I can't tell anyone what you said. What's the harm in sharing?"
Iskender shifted a bit, "Well where do you want to start? I'm the only one who's been coping with this bullshit country's rules."
"How have you been coping?" She asked more in hope than anything else that he may have a useful insight.
"I just focus on training and text Esin."
"Esin?"
"Yeah she's my... well it's a bit complicated."
"Tell me about her?" She asked a curious as to how this mysterious woman was helping him.
"Well she's my kind of girlfriend I guess? I mean it's weird. She was really interested in me, then she disappeared. Then she text me out of the blue saying she had a new job as a journalist abroad and I suppose it's... tough, but she keeps me grounded."
She took furious notes as she nodded along, it was odd that the backup goalkeeper would provide a remotely useful insight to her, especially given his reputation, yet here she was.
***
Nesrin's face had gone numb from her resting it on her hand for so long. It wasn't that Ozbek's story wasn't fascinating, but the day's work had finally stretched her thin.
"... So then she starts choking me real hard-"
"Wait." She interrupted, "I thought we were talking about something that happened in your childhood?"
"We are." He fired back before continuing. "So then after a while I'm on this ethereal plane and my head's buzzing and my cousin Deniz comes out and tells me it's not my time yet."
"Was he dead?"
"No. That was the weird part."
"Sure." She replied sarcastically as she looked at the confused notes she had made, unable to get a read on this particular player. "So what was the point of this all?"
"Oh we were trying to see if it makes you high or not. I thought it might help take the edge off for some of the guys." He nonchalantly replied.
Nesrin rubbed her temples, the day had really taken a toll on her, who could have known such odd and deficient people could possibly become professional athletes? She listened as Ozbek went on, wishing for her day to end.
