Posted: Sun Aug 11, 2019 12:32 am
KANYEANS POST SECOND STRAIGHT A. BOWL WIN, ANNIHILATE XANNERIANS 70-3
by Lucy Bobo
URANIUM CITY - The Kanyean national arena gridiron team continue to go on a roll in Arena Bowl VI here in Abanhfleft, as after demolishing the Carolinian team 113-13 in their first game, they put up another blowout, this time at the expense of Xanneria, 70-3.
The Surge were decked out in their primary home duds of head-to-toe purple. Winning the coin toss again, they elected to receive this time. It didn't take long for them to score, as kick returner Taylor Johns ran all the way for a touchdown. Then it was Xanneria's turn on offense, and on their very first play, Yeezie D-lineman Robby Edison strip-sacked the opposing quarterback. The loose ball was scooped up and returned by Aidan O'Connor to make the score 14-0 St. Kanye not even two minutes into the game. Later, a pair of touchdown passes by Surge QB Landon Klein, to wide receiver Patrick Moore and then Bruce Dobler, doubled their lead at the end of the first period.
The problems continued to pile up for the Xannerians in the second quarter. Their running back fumbled in the red zone, giving the ball back to the Kanyeans. Noah Sherman burst through the line on the second play of their drive, making it 35-nil in favor of the boys in purple. Several sequences later, Dobler hauled in his second TD pass of the day. Halftime came with the Surge leading 42 to nothing.
The Xannerian QB was forced to throw quicker than he would have liked to prevent the Kanyeans' blitzing, which already caused him to be sacked five times. But he didn't bank on Gary Bradman's nose for the ball, as the defensive specialist got on the board in the third quarter for a pick six. Sherman also recorded a second trip to the end zone in this period. Once again, St. Kanye's head coach Jeff Delphine would bring in the bench for the fourth. Speedy RB Randall Cole weaved his way through the Xannerian defenders, and QB R.J. Linetti scrambled his way to add the ninth and tenth touchdowns for St. Kanye in the game. Xanneria's kicker prevented a shutout by converting a field goal, which the Yeezies put minimal effort to defend, in the final minute of the game. Klein finished with 326 passing yards, Dobler and Moore had 154 and 117 receiving yards respectively, and Sherman rushed for 136. Edison had three sacks, while Bradman had two interceptions.
Like in the first game, the Antarctic Forum was packed. Many Kanyeans made the trip to Abanhfleft, which has become the Glorious Free Republic's third most common tourist destination this year, behind only Newmanistan and the Sherpa Empire and slightly ahead of Vangaziland. In attendance among the sea of purple and lime are Jazz Higgs, half-Kanyean hoops player for the Uranium City Nukes and Abanhfleft Rebolusyonaryos, and his Yeezie-born mother Kristen, who said "It's amazing how support for national sports teams brings St. Kanye's people together. They're not just rooting for the teams to win, they're also rooting for the players, their fellow Kanyeans."
Two matches remain in the group stages, against hosts and powerhouses Abanhfleft, and newcomers Bekian Impei. The Fleftics inflicted on the Western Carolina Union team a second straight loss of a hundred or more, 111-10, in the other Group A game. "They [Abanhfleft] will be our main focus, but we won't take Bekian Impei lightly either. We consider all games, big or small, winnable, as long as we put in our maximum effort", said Coach Delphine in an interview.
Scoring Information:
STK - Johns 47 kickoff return (Rasputin kick) STK 7-0
STK - O'Connor 21 fumble return (Rasputin kick) STK 14-0
STK - Moore 15 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) STK 21-0
STK - Dobler 9 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) STK 28-0
STK - Sherman 22 run (Rasputin kick) STK 35-0
STK - Dobler 27 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) STK 42-0
STK - Bradman 25 interception return (Rasputin kick) STK 49-0
STK - Sherman 20 run (Rasputin kick) STK 56-0
STK - Cole 33 run (Rasputin kick) STK 63-0
STK - Linetti 19 run (Rasputin kick) STK 70-0
XAN - field goal Kicker 20 STK 70-3