NS Arena Bowl VI - Everything Thread

[Saint Kanye]

KANYEANS POST SECOND STRAIGHT A. BOWL WIN, ANNIHILATE XANNERIANS 70-3

by Lucy Bobo

URANIUM CITY - The Kanyean national arena gridiron team continue to go on a roll in Arena Bowl VI here in Abanhfleft, as after demolishing the Carolinian team 113-13 in their first game, they put up another blowout, this time at the expense of Xanneria, 70-3.

The Surge were decked out in their primary home duds of head-to-toe purple. Winning the coin toss again, they elected to receive this time. It didn't take long for them to score, as kick returner Taylor Johns ran all the way for a touchdown. Then it was Xanneria's turn on offense, and on their very first play, Yeezie D-lineman Robby Edison strip-sacked the opposing quarterback. The loose ball was scooped up and returned by Aidan O'Connor to make the score 14-0 St. Kanye not even two minutes into the game. Later, a pair of touchdown passes by Surge QB Landon Klein, to wide receiver Patrick Moore and then Bruce Dobler, doubled their lead at the end of the first period.

The problems continued to pile up for the Xannerians in the second quarter. Their running back fumbled in the red zone, giving the ball back to the Kanyeans. Noah Sherman burst through the line on the second play of their drive, making it 35-nil in favor of the boys in purple. Several sequences later, Dobler hauled in his second TD pass of the day. Halftime came with the Surge leading 42 to nothing.

The Xannerian QB was forced to throw quicker than he would have liked to prevent the Kanyeans' blitzing, which already caused him to be sacked five times. But he didn't bank on Gary Bradman's nose for the ball, as the defensive specialist got on the board in the third quarter for a pick six. Sherman also recorded a second trip to the end zone in this period. Once again, St. Kanye's head coach Jeff Delphine would bring in the bench for the fourth. Speedy RB Randall Cole weaved his way through the Xannerian defenders, and QB R.J. Linetti scrambled his way to add the ninth and tenth touchdowns for St. Kanye in the game. Xanneria's kicker prevented a shutout by converting a field goal, which the Yeezies put minimal effort to defend, in the final minute of the game. Klein finished with 326 passing yards, Dobler and Moore had 154 and 117 receiving yards respectively, and Sherman rushed for 136. Edison had three sacks, while Bradman had two interceptions.

Like in the first game, the Antarctic Forum was packed. Many Kanyeans made the trip to Abanhfleft, which has become the Glorious Free Republic's third most common tourist destination this year, behind only Newmanistan and the Sherpa Empire and slightly ahead of Vangaziland. In attendance among the sea of purple and lime are Jazz Higgs, half-Kanyean hoops player for the Uranium City Nukes and Abanhfleft Rebolusyonaryos, and his Yeezie-born mother Kristen, who said "It's amazing how support for national sports teams brings St. Kanye's people together. They're not just rooting for the teams to win, they're also rooting for the players, their fellow Kanyeans."

Two matches remain in the group stages, against hosts and powerhouses Abanhfleft, and newcomers Bekian Impei. The Fleftics inflicted on the Western Carolina Union team a second straight loss of a hundred or more, 111-10, in the other Group A game. "They [Abanhfleft] will be our main focus, but we won't take Bekian Impei lightly either. We consider all games, big or small, winnable, as long as we put in our maximum effort", said Coach Delphine in an interview.

---

Scoring Information:

STK - Johns 47 kickoff return (Rasputin kick) STK 7-0
STK - O'Connor 21 fumble return (Rasputin kick) STK 14-0
STK - Moore 15 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) STK 21-0
STK - Dobler 9 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) STK 28-0

STK - Sherman 22 run (Rasputin kick) STK 35-0
STK - Dobler 27 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) STK 42-0

STK - Bradman 25 interception return (Rasputin kick) STK 49-0
STK - Sherman 20 run (Rasputin kick) STK 56-0

STK - Cole 33 run (Rasputin kick) STK 63-0
STK - Linetti 19 run (Rasputin kick) STK 70-0
XAN - field goal Kicker 20 STK 70-3

[Abanhfleft]

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

Gabbing on Gridiron
with Dara Keane

ARENA BOWL VI: WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK IS GOING ON WITH THESE SCORES?

Scarily accurate Internet rendition of this blogger's reaction upon seeing the MD2 scores for this Arena Bowl

First of all, let's get this one thing straight. I am well and truly aware that the rules of arena football completely allow and in fact make it possible for any given team to be able to score absolutely ludicrous numbers like 113 and 111 points. But even then, there has to be a point where you just have to sit back, take a deep breath, and ask yourself: are these numbers for real? Like, for real for real? Because my simpleton mind just cannot wrap itself around the whole concept just yet. Maybe it's because I've been brought up on outdoor gridiron football, but maybe I really am just stupid.

36-33. 35-29. 34-35. 47-40. Those to me are perfectly acceptable arena football scores. Heck, I'll even throw in a 60-46 into the mix. But all of these other scores are just, for lack of a better term from me, ludicrous. Okay, I can believe that scores in the 70- and 80-point realm can happen because I've looked at some AIF results and they're there. But 100 points or more? What in the world are these players eating? And what in the world is the Western Carolina Union doing wrong if they've let teams score a hundred plus against them twice? So far I haven't heard any news of teams complaining about facilities or amenities over in Uranium City or Vikrant or wherever else, so I guess this must mean that the WCU are just really that shit. Well, they managed to qualify for the Arena Bowl, but on the other hand they've let through 223 points, and that's just not a good look whichever way you look at it.

But seriously though. 111 points! If I hadn't seen it for myself I never would have believed Abanhfleft would have been capable of doing something like that, and yet here is the proof right before my eyes. Boy, do these Indians know how to play. Anuraag Patil just cannot stop finding his teammates! And even the defense put in the work, scoring some defensive touchdowns of their own to show us all that they can score points in arena football too, you know. This game had twelve touchdowns, and four of them came from Anuraag's Vikrant Vimanas teammate Aryabhata Patil. Another four came from the defense (three of them being the work of another Vimanas product, Sayana Shree) while both Anuraag and Mad... Madha... Maddie... Madhavacharta Banahatti! both contributed their own rushing TDs. A crazy night of work for all involved. And the defense must also be commended for keeping the WCU to only 10 points, as opposed to the Yeezie defense holding the WCU to 13 points. Small victories and all that.

Not much else there is left for me to say, I think. Still more to come in the Arena Bowl, and of course there's the "marquee" match-up between Abanhfleft and Saint Kanye. If the scores of the past two days are anything to go by, this contest is going to be a massive one. Keep your eyes peeled on this space. This game just ain't over yet. Viswamitra Upalekar, Viswamitra Upalekar, Viswamitra Upalekar....

[Abanhfleft]

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation? Some teams certainly are. The only way to deal with it is to remember all the sadness and frustration and let it go.
CUTOFF for MD3 of NS Arena Bowl VI.

---

Group A
Xanneria 17–73 Abanhfleft
Bekian Impei 12–90 Saint Kanye

  Group A                    Pld   W  L   PF  PA   PD
1 Saint Kanye                  3   3  0  273  28 +245  Possible quarterfinals qualification
2 Abanhfleft                   2   2  0  184  27 +157
3 Xanneria                     3   1  2   56 176 −120
4 Bekian Impei                 2   0  2   45 126  −81
5 The Western Carolina Union   2   0  2   23 224 −201

Group B
United Civil States 83–16 Ko-oren
Free Republics 89–30 Velstrania

  Group B                    Pld   W  L   PF  PA   PD
1 United Civil States          3   3  0  228  74 +154  Possible quarterfinals qualification
2 Geektopia                    2   2  0   95  75  +20
3 Free Republics               2   1  1  144  99  +45
4 Ko-oren                      2   0  2   62 143  −81
5 Velstrania                   3   0  3   62 200 −138  Eliminated

Group C
Lisander 7–75 Saintland
Cosumar 20–37 Danurbia

  Group C                    Pld   W  L   PF  PA   PD
1 Saintland                    2   2  0  141  13 +128
2 Danurbia                     3   2  1  120 142  −22
3 Terre Septentrionale         2   1  1   88  79   +9
4 Cosumar                      2   1  1   55  71  −16
5 Lisander                     3   0  3   81 180  −99  Eliminated

Group D
Sarzonia 55–32 The Andromeda Archipelago
United Civil Republic 78–9 Bolgano

  Group D                    Pld   W  L   PF  PA   PD
1 Sarzonia                     3   3  0  199  78 +121  Possible quarterfinals qualification
2 The Andromeda Archipelago    2   1  1  121  65  +56
3 United Civil Republic        2   1  1  109  75  +34
4 United States of Devonta     2   1  1   57 129  −72
5 Bolgano                      3   0  3   64 203 −139  Eliminated

[Abanhfleft]

IMPORTANT HOST NOTE: Starting on MD4 (13 August 2019), cutoffs for Arena Bowl VI will be moved to between 8 and 9 PM PST (UTC+8).

[Sarzonia]

Unlike the host nation Abanhfleft and the Saint Kanye Surge, both of whom played some of the most dominant gridball ever seen in the first three matches of Arena Bowl VI, Sarzonia will not have quite the same dominance.

The Stars won't care. They still have a 3-0 record and sole possession of first place in the Group D table after a 55-32 comeback win over the Andromeda Archipelago.

Coach Chad Embry set the stage for the comeback by going for it on fourth down and 14 from the Stars one- yard line, eschewing a 66-yard field goal attempt in the first possession of the second half. The Stars trailed at that point 24-10 after three plays resulted in minus four yards of offense.

"I wanted to give our team a spark," Embry said of his risky decision. "The chances of hitting a field goal from 66 would be remote even in the outdoor game. It's damn near impossible in the indoor game."

The play resulted in a 22-yard strike from Clark Weston to Barry Tomlin to move the chains. Three plays later, Weston hit Tomlin with a 23-yard scoring pass to make it a one-possession game.

In the midst of the kicking team running out to the field, special teams coordinator Thad Regala sidled up to Embry.

"Coach, let's try an onside kick," he said.

"I'm with you," Embry said.

The team lined up and then recovered the ball on the 14-yard line after kicker Joe Avant perfectly executed the onside kick. The Stars scored after a five-play drive when John Crowley barreled in from the one. All of a sudden, the two touchdown deficit was all the way gone and the Stars had momentum.

The defense got energy from the offensive exploits and forced five turnovers in the second half. The Stars dominated the second half and walked off the pitch all but sewing up a spot in the quarterfinals.

With only a match against Devonta remaining before the team's bye on Matchday 5, Embry already gave the team the day off to do "absolutely nothing gridball-related."

"The Andromeda Archipelago is the best team we've faced so far," Weston said. "The way things are going in this tournament, they may be the best team that has lost a match so far. The Yeezies and the Fleftics have been super dominant, but one of those teams is going to lose on Matchday Four because they play each other. We happened to get our test one day earlier."

Consider that test passed.

[The Andromeda Archipelago]

Andromeda Eagles vs. Sarzonia Stars
Imgortur Ice Sports Center
Imgortur, Abanhfleft
Saturday, August 17, 2019
7:00 pm

The Andromeda Eagles were held to eight second points as Sarzonia staged a dramatic second half comeback.

With three minutes left, the Eagles are down 48-32. They were able to quickly advance the ball to the Stars’ 2-yard line, but have been unable to advance those final two yards. It’s now fourth and goal with three yards to go. Quarterback Britt McManus calls time out. The Eagles get into a huddle.

“This is it. If there’s any hope for us to win this, it’s with this play and these three yards.”

“But we’ll still be down nine,” Liebowitz says.

“Eight, once we get that PAT. Any ideas?”

“Give me the ball,” Zimmerman says.

Kerri Zimmerman ran for a touchdown in the second quarter. After Molly Green’s placeholder flubbed up the snap for the extra point, she threw the ball back to Zimmerman who connected with Ivanna White for a 2-point conversion.

“And, once we give you the ball?”

“Freaky Deaky!”

“We have a narrow window and we’re supposed to trust you with the ball because… Freaky Deaky?”

“Freaky Deaky!”

The team looks at Zimmerman as if she has just grown a second head.

“You pitches got any better ideas?”

McManus looks toward the coaches. All three of them throw up their hands. McManus relents.

“Freaky Deaky,” McManus says. Nobody, including Zimmerman, has the slightest idea what Freaky Deaky is.

The team breaks out of the huddle. The Stars see that the Eagles are going for it. Just before Mel Lowe makes the snap, McManus runs backwards. The Eagles are in shotgun formation.

Lowe snaps the ball to McManus, who hands it to Zimmerman. Zimmerman leaps over Mel Lowe and rams into what feels like a brick wall.

@ 7:40 pm

Zimmerman regains consciousness. She has a terrific headache. Her vision is blurry. She is laying on a stretcher in the locker room.

“Britt. She’s up.”

Zimmerman recognizes Coach Kim’s voice.

“Coach, did we win?”

Coach Kim and Britt McManus shake their heads.

“You ran into a mountain. Hugh Daniels? Tom Tyler? He was huge whatever his name was.”

“They scored a final touchdown for good measure,” McManus said.

Coach Kim shakes her head.

“You just had to try ‘Freaky Deaky.’ Didn’t you?”

----------

FINAL SCORE: Sarzonia 55, Andromeda 32

----------

ANDROMEDAN PLAYER OF THE GAME

#51 Kerri Zimmerman
Age: 28
Height: 5’6”
Team: Todd’s Cove Lady Clippers

One of the most versatile players for the Lady Clippers, receiver Kerri Zimmerman helped Todd’s Cove to an undefeated season and a 45-34 Andromeda Bowl win over Angeles City. Zimmerman is also the backup quarterback for the Lady Clips.

Zimmerman was also a four-year starter for The University of Palermo’s Women’s Basketball Team.

[Saint Kanye]

TEAM STK CRUSH B. IMPEI 90-12, FACE FLEFTICS NEXT

by Chuck Duncan

URANIUM CITY - The new St. Kanye Surge, that is, the nation's team in arena gridiron instead of basketball, continue to blow away everyone else in their path in Arena Bowl VI here in Abanhfleft. In their recently concluded faceoff with Bekian Impei, starting quarterback Landon Klein threw for 241 yards and three touchdowns, while RB/LB Noah Sherman rushed for 165 yards and another three TDs. But backup quarterback R.J. Linetti was the man of the match, having 183 passing yards, 137 rushing yards, two passing TDs, and three rushing TDs. The score? St. Kanye 90, Bekian Impei 12.

Bekian Impei drew first blood with a pass from their quarterback to the left side wide receiver. They tried to go for two, but failed as the running back was tackled for a loss. Bekian Impei's 6-nil advantage wouldn't last long though, as the Surge, who wore purple over black, responded with two runs by Sherman, the first for 38 yards. WR/DB Patrick Moore added a touchdown catch later in the first quarter, meaning that the Kanyeans now have twenty-one unanswered points. In the second period, it was all St. Kanye. Sherman made another trip to the end zone, his third of the day; Klein hooked up with Bruce Dobler and Aidan O'Connor for his second and third touchdown passes. Kicker James Rasputin, who has been flawless with his extra points, added a field goal to the Yeezies' tally as time expired in the half.

Coach Jeff Delphine decided to pull his starters early, playing the reserves for the whole second half instead of just the final quarter. It was then that Linetti caught on fire; at third and 8 on Bekian Impei's 20, he was unable to find an open man, so he decided to just haul the ball in himself. B.I. would only respond with a field goal, and later on, Linetti would find an open Nico Jackson for a short pass in the red zone to put the Surge up by fifty, 59-9 entering the fourth frame. Bekian Impei would put up another field goal, after which Taylor Johns and Linetti would take turns scoring (fumble return, run, reception, run). Three points from Rasputin with ninety seconds left in the game sealed the deal.

The big win gave St. Kanye a 3-0 record in Group A, same as and hosts Abanhfleft, who crushed Xanneria 73-17. "This will be the ultimate test for us", said Surge offensive coordinator Cory Myers. "Both us and the Fleftics have shown our might in this competition, but not yet against each other. As fate would have it, they're next on our schedule, and I'm sure it will be a battle for the ages." His defensive counterpart, Kevin Macintyre, named Abanhfleft quarterback Anuraag Patil and defensive back Sayana Shree (the hosts don't play two-way like most other Arena Bowl participants) as players to mark in their matchup. "We're known for pressuring opposing quarterbacks, so we gotta pile that pressure on. And we need to play different strategies on offense to stay a step ahead of their defense." Before playing the hosts, the Surge will be on a bye, which they said will be spent on practice, drills, and watching tape of their opponents. Thousands of fans from both competitors are expected to watch. "They're the home team, right? We're also the home team. Everywhere Kanyeans play, we're the home team", said a young Kanyean fan.

---

Scoring Information:

BIM - WR 16 pass from QB (Two-point conversion failed) BIM 6-0
STK - Sherman 38 run (Rasputin kick) STK 7-6
STK - Sherman 13 run (Rasputin kick) STK 14-6
STK - Moore 24 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) STK 21-6

STK - Sherman 18 run (Rasputin kick) STK 28-6
STK - Dobler 30 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) STK 35-6
STK - O'Connor 5 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) STK 42-6
STK - field goal Rasputin 15 STK 45-6

STK - Linetti 20 run (Rasputin kick) STK 52-6
BIM - field goal Kicker 13 STK 52-9
STK - Jackson 14 pass from Linetti (Rasputin kick) STK 59-9

BIM - field goal Kicker 15 STK 59-12
STK - Johns 23 fumble return (Rasputin kick) STK 66-12
STK - Linetti 11 run (Rasputin kick) STK 73-12
STK - Johns 18 pass from Linetti (Rasputin kick) STK 80-12
STK - Linetti 21 run (Rasputin kick) STK 87-12
STK - field goal Rasputin 17 STK 90-12

[Abanhfleft]

This is not the end and this is not the beginning. However, for some teams, the end is indeed here and now.
But who gets the happy ending, and who goes home crying?
CUTOFF for MD4 of NS Arena Bowl VI.

---

Group A
Abanhfleft 122–43 Bekian Impei
The Western Carolina Union 28–29 Xanneria

  Group A                    Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD
1 Saint Kanye                  3   3  0  273  28 +245  Qualified to Quarterfinals
2 Abanhfleft                   3   3  0  306  70 +236  Qualified to Quarterfinals
3 Xanneria                     4   2  2   85 204 −119  Eliminated
4 Bekian Impei                 3   0  3   88 248 −160  Eliminated
5 The Western Carolina Union   3   0  3   51 253 −202  Eliminated

Group B
Ko-oren 10–84 Free Republics
Geektopia 26–92 United Civil States

  Group B                    Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD
1 United Civil States          4   4  0  320 100 +220  Qualified to Quarterfinals
2 Free Republics               3   2  1  228 109 +119
3 Geektopia                    3   2  1  121 167 −46
4 Velstrania                   3   0  3   62 200 −138  Eliminated
5 Ko-oren                      3   0  3   72 227 −155  Eliminated

Group C
Saintland 107–24 Cosumar
Terre Septentrionale 85–31 Lisander

  Group C                    Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD
1 Saintland                    3   3  0  248  37 +211
2 Terre Septentrionale         3   2  1  173 110 +63
3 Danurbia                     3   2  1  120 142 −22
4 Cosumar                      3   1  2   79 178 −99
5 Lisander                     4   0  4  112 265 −153  Eliminated

Group D
The Andromeda Archipelago 46–13 United Civil Republic
United States of Devonta 6–90 Sarzonia

  Group D                    Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD
1 Sarzonia                     4   4  0  289  84 +205  Qualified to Quarterfinals
2 The Andromeda Archipelago    3   2  1  167  78 +89
3 United Civil Republic        3   1  2  122 121  +1
4 United States of Devonta     3   1  2   63 219 −156
5 Bolgano                      3   0  3   64 203 −139  Eliminated

[Sarzonia]

It may be fashionable to dismiss Sarzonia's indoor gridball team as the weakest of the unbeaten sides. After all, none of the team's first three matches generated the buzz of a Saint Kanye match or an Abanhfleft match. The Stars didn't have a 100-point match to their credit. In fact, they played two of the closest matches of any unbeaten side to this point in the tournament.

A Devonta side that came in fighting for its knockout stage lives didn't strike anyone as the sort of team the Stars could simply dominate. Granted, their 1-1 record included an overtime victory, but it was against hapless Bolgano, who was merely playing out the string in this short group stage. It also included a blowout loss to The Andromeda Archipelago which saw the Eagles clobber the United States 89-10. They were coming off a bye and had more opportunities to study Sarzonia on tape and prepare for the Stars.

Sarzonia could easily be excused for looking past Devonta and toward a possible quarterfinal berth. They could easily let up on the gas and make things more interesting in a game they still should be favoured to win.

However, the Stars made their final group stage match their valedictory statement. Ja'relle Gaffney came off the bench in the third quarter and tossed four touchdown passes, also running for two scores, and Sarzonia dominated the United States of Devonta 90-6.

Gaffney's highlight was a 38-yard scramble that caught Devonta completely unaware as he sensed pressure coming from the left side of the offensive line. Their Mac linebacker was rushing from the left and got around Lawrence Tyler's attempted block. Gaffney pumped to his right and took off, arriving at the four-yard line to set up a first and goal with 6:38 left. Running back John Crowley took a draw play up the gut for a touchdown on the next play and put Sarzonia up 70-3.

Except for the very first series, the reserve players were on the pitch for the entire game, but you wouldn't know it by the way the Stars moved the ball on offence and the way the shut down Devonta on defence. The only scoring by Devonta came from field goals of 44 and 39 yards. They only advanced past midfield twice in the entire game.

After the match went final, the Stars celebrated with a champagne shower in the dressing room followed by real showers, then they quickly got dressed. They then went to the conference room in the arena to watch the other matches. They saw host nation Abanhfleft cruise past Bekian Impei 122-43 to set up the dramatic Group A showdown on Matchday 5 between the unbeaten host Fleftics and their fellow unbeaten Surge. United Civil States put the finishing touches on their trip to the quarterfinals with a dominant 92-26 victory over Geektopia to hand the latter nation their first defeat. Meanwhile, Free Republics looked to gain the potential upper hand at qualifying with an easy 84-10 victory over Ko-oren to set the stage for a win-or-go-home matchup in two days.

In Group C, Saintland looks like the strong favourite there with a powerful 3-0 record, even though they haven't clinched anything with Terre Septentrionale and Danurbia breathing down their necks at 2-1. Saintland dominated Terre Septentrionale 66-6 on Matchday 2 and will face Danurbia in their group stage finale. Meanwhile, Terre Septentrionale clobbered Danurbia 82-13 on Matchday 1 and face a Cosumar side still barely clinging to knockout stage hopes with a 1-2 mark.

Sarzonia (4-0) will enjoy its day off overmorrow and will likely be joined in the knockout rounds by The Andromeda Archipelago, although United Civil Republic and Devonta aren't necessarily out of the knockout stage picture. With the Eagles facing group doormats Bolgano in their finale, the chance at a massive upset looms extremely unlikely except for one key phrase: Margaret is a fickle bitch.

For now, Sarzonia can afford to rest an extra day and prepare for the knockout stages. The only question is which team would be their opponents.

[The Andromeda Archipelago]

Andromeda vs. United Civil Republic
Imgortur Ice Sports Center
Imgortur, Abanhfleft
Saturday, August 24, 2019

1:00 left in the Second Quarter.

The Eagles Offense is still reeling from their 2nd half collapse against Sarzonia. QB Geri Benton has been unable lead the Eagles to a touchdown for most of the first half. Aside from Deb Steinberg sacking the UCR quarterback for a safety, the Eagles have only managed a few field goals up to this point. The United Civil Republic (USR) managed three field goals, one of which was drop-kicked through the uprights.

The Eagles are up 11-10. They are at the UCR 5. It’s first and goal. The Eagles haven’t huddled in this drive.

With two tight ends breaking through, Benton attempts to throw the ball out of bounds to avoid getting sacked. Luckily, Georgia Brown jumps up and catches the ball, then runs into the end zone.


Halftime Score: Eagles 18, UCR 10.


10:30 left in the third.

Britt McManus replaced Benton at QB. She leads the Eagles down the field, getting them to the UCR 2-yard line after three plays. They get into a huddle. McManus starts to sing.

“I’m just mad about Saffron…”

Mel Lowe sing back. “…and Saffron’s mad about me…”

Aside from Lowe and McManus, the rest of the players don’t know what’s going on.

“Freaky deaky?” Carmen Ramirez says in disgust.

“No, no. They got this,” Ruby Salliewhite says. Salliewhite is the first to figure out what’s going on. Mel Lowe plans to run into the end zone, followed by McManus.

“They call me MEL LOWE yellow,” Salliewhite sings.

Enough Eagle players make the connection just as McManus breaks the huddle. Lowe makes the snap. The UCR players, expecting the shotgun formation McManus used during the previous three plays, leave the middle open for McManus to follow Lowe into the end zone.

Eagles 24, UCR 10.

As McManus runs off the field, Salliewhite touches her on the shoulder.

“Next time, could you do Mustang Sallie?”

“All you want to do is ride around, Sallie.”

“Ride, Sallie. Ride,” they both say.

As Molly Green runs on the field to kick the extra point. McManus runs off the field knowing that her Eagles are back on track.


FINAL SCORE: Andromeda 46, United Civil Republic 13

----------

PLAYER OF THE GAME

QB #11 Britt McManus
Age: 29
Height: 5’7”
Team: Todd’s Cove Lady Clippers

A former University of Todd’s Cove Basketball and Soccer Player, Brittania McManus played Arena Football overseas before joining the Lady Clippers Arena Football Squad. McManus led the Lady Clips to an undefeated season and a 45-34 Andromeda Bowl win over Angeles City.

McManus also works at the Admissions Office for the University of Todd’s Cove during the off-season.

[Saint Kanye]

YEEZIES VS. FLEFTICS: ARENA BOWL EDITION

by Lucy Bobo

URANIUM CITY - The Kanyean arena gridiron team has been put to the test three times in Arena Bowl VI here in Abanhfleft, escaping from each of them with huge victories. The next opponent the Surge are going to face will no doubt be the toughest - the Fleftic team, who like them have battered the likes of the Western Carolina Union, Xanneria and Bekian Impei. Though both St. Kanye and Abanhfleft are through to the playoffs, only one will escape the group stages with a pristine record and a chance at a lighter opponent in the first round.

The hosts have the most powerful offense among the teams in the tournament, scoring 102 points a game on average. But the Yeezies have the best defense, conceding an average of 9.33 points. Abanhfleft uses two sets of players; St. Kanye's squad plays both sides of the ball. The contrast between the teams should make for a very interesting matchup. "It may sound very cliche, but we're going to go out there and do our best", said Surge head coach Jeff Delphine. "We'll fight not just for the better record, but also for pride." Delphine's top dogs will be quarterback Landon Klein, RB/LB Noah Sherman, WR/DB Bruce Dobler, lineman Robby Edison and defensive specialist Gary Bradman, Players to watch out for on the home team are quarterback Anuraag Patil, running back Madhavacharta Banahatti, wide receiver Aryabhata Patil and defensive back Sayana Shree. The Kanyeans, who have spent their bye day on extra training and watching game tape, will wear white tops and pants. "We're very much ready", said QB Klein. "Bring it on."

[Abanhfleft]

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

Gabbing on Gridiron
with Dara Keane

ARENA BOWL VI: A TITANIC CLASH OF OLYMPIC PROPORTIONS

Fleftic National Police officers performing a walkaround inside the Antarctic Forum just before the opening ceremony of Arena Bowl VI.

Here it is, the day of reckoning. Abanhfleft versus Saint Kanye. The Surge versus the... the um... whatever the hell our arena football team's nickname is. We all know the history of the Flefts and the Yeezies, how they grew from deadly rivals to friendly rivals. Of course, that's all in the realm of basketball, and my cousin David Norton is going to be a better expert at telling that particular story, so let's just stick to the arena football, shall we?

Abanhfleft versus Saint Kanye. That's an event sure to draw in the crowds. Heck, even arena football is good enough for fans from both countries to buy tickets to the match. In fact, this one game has convinced the management of the Antarctic Forum to open up the upper tiers of the stadium so it can accommodate all of the fans coming to watch the game. Can you believe that the 30,000 or so available tickets for the game sold out as soon as sales were opened? That's another reason why the Antarctic Forum was allowed to operate at its maximum capacity, at least for this one game. It's the money, of course. People love money. That is a universal truth. And when something makes money, you damn well will make sure that it will keep on making money. This kind of popularity could finally pave the way for that national arena football league some of us have been dreaming about. You never know.

But, as you all know, not all Fleftics have been won over by the Yeezies. Remember the "Real Fans of Abanhfleft"? You know, the guys who keep claiming that every country that beats us in any conceivable sport is part of a vast conspiracy to deny us of any titles or silverware? Well, they're still around. They're just laying low after that time they kidnapped that Yeezie lawyer and then Fleft, Yeezie and Qasdenian authorities busted their little operation in Qasden. You can say that the bastards are very probably biding their time for, well, something. What it is, I don't know. But there's certainly some sort of threat there, and the FNP (Fleftic National Police if you can't be bothered to look it up) and the Ministry of Internal Affairs have decided to beef up security in and around the Antarctic Forum just in case those guys try something funny. I don't expect anything to happen, really, but if you get to the Forum and wonder why it's chock full of cops and Internal Troops and National Guard and whatnot, well, now you know why.

So that's where I leave you, the buildup to the epic clash between the Blue, Orange and Green and the Purple and Lime. No matter the result, it's going to be an arena classic. I can feel it in my bones. Just sad that one set of fans has to cry while the other set celebrates through the night. Oh well. I can only shrug my shoulders. Monad Murad, Monad Murad, Monad Murad...

P.S.: The blogger quoted this verbatim while watching Abanhfleft play against Bekian Impei.

[Abanhfleft]

Will you want to love or damn your country after the results of this Arena Bowl? Only you can say for certain.
CUTOFF for MD5 of NS Arena Bowl VI.

---

Group A
Bekian Impei 46–54 The Western Carolina Union
Saint Kanye 91–40 Abanhfleft

  Group A                    Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD
1 Saint Kanye                  4   4  0  364  68 +296  Qualified for Quarterfinals
2 Abanhfleft                   4   3  1  346 161 +185  Qualified for Quarterfinals
3 Xanneria                     4   2  2   85 204 −119
4 The Western Carolina Union   4   1  3  105 299 −194
5 Bekian Impei                 4   0  4  134 302 −168

Group B
Free Republics 96–7 Geektopia
Velstrania 44–50 Ko-oren

  Group B                    Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD
1 United Civil States          4   4  0  320 100 +220  Qualified for Quarterfinals
2 Free Republics               4   3  1  324 116 +208  Qualified for Quarterfinals
3 Geektopia                    4   2  2  128 263 −135
4 Ko-oren                      4   1  3  122 271 −149
5 Velstrania                   4   0  4  106 250 −144

Group C
Cosumar 27–115 Terre Septentrionale
Danurbia 26–85 Saintland

  Group C                    Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD
1 Saintland                    4   4  0  333  63 +270  Qualified for Quarterfinals
2 Terre Septentrionale         4   3  1  288 137 +151  Qualified for Quarterfinals
3 Danurbia                     4   2  2  146 227 −81
4 Cosumar                      4   1  3  106 293 −187
5 Lisander                     4   0  4  112 265 −153

Group D
United Civil Republic 67–20 United States of Devonta
Bolgano 24–73 The Andromeda Archipelago

  Group D                    Pld   W  L   PF  PA  PD
1 Sarzonia                     4   4  0  289  84 +205  Qualified for Quarterfinals
2 The Andromeda Archipelago    4   3  1  240 102 +138  Qualified for Quarterfinals
3 United Civil Republic        4   2  2  189 141 +48
4 United States of Devonta     4   1  3   83 286 −203
5 Bolgano                      4   0  4   88 276 −188

The quarterfinals draw will be posted soon.

[Abanhfleft]

ARENA BOWL VI
QUARTERFINALS MATCHES

---

Saint Kanye vs The Andromeda Archipelago
@ Farhan Chohan Stadium, Vikrant

Abanhfleft vs Sarzonia
@ The Antarctic Forum, Uranium City

United Civil States vs Terre Septentrionale
@ URGA Arena, Norrdnhammr

Free Republics vs Saintland
@ Imgortur Ice Sports Center, Imgortur

[Sarzonia]

Even though his team enjoyed a bye heading into Matchday Five, Joe Avant's eyes bolted open at 5:30 a.m., half an hour past the wake-up routine set by coach Chad Embry.

He looked at his phone and jumped out of bed, scrambling to put on his clothes and rush down to Conference Room 5 for the team's breakfast/meeting. He got there and looked confused as no one was there. He looked outside the window and didn't see the team bus parked outside. He scrambled for his phone and called Embry.

The phone went directly to voicemail.

Fuck!. He inhaled and exhaled loudly, then cast his gaze at the floor. Anyone who saw him could tell he was on the verge of crying.

Then he heard a familiar voice.

"Looking for something?"

"Coach!"

Embry affected a look of anger at his kicker, but when he saw the look of sheer panic in his eyes, he decided to stop the ruse. He broke out into a big smile.

"Didn't you remember? We don't meet up until 9:30 this morning. We're going to start watching the matches and doing scouting reports in the afternoon," he said.

Avant gave his coach a look and then realised what happened. His internal clock told him to get going, even though the team had decided en masse to use the lone matchday that saw the team not competing on the pitch as a day off.

"Joe, you look like you could use some sleep. We'll see you at 9:30. Ten if I'm in a good mood," Embry said, punctuating the last sentence with a smile and a wink that made it clear Embry was going to convene everyone at 10.

The team watched the results come through while assembled in John Crowley's hotel room. The Stars (4-0) had long since clinched their spot in the quarterfinals and only curiosity would determine what their next move was.

They knew they wouldn't have to face Saint Kanye in the quarterfinal round, though they found out they would get the host nation Abanhfleft. The Stars knew they would get a stern test, especially since the would have to travel to Uranium City and would clearly face a hostile crowd in the next round.

As for Embry, he knew that the mental reps his team would go through would be just as important as the physical ones. He would have the team work on conditioning drills and he eschewed pads and hitting in practice from Matchday 1 forward. He didn't want his team to be so exhausted from hitting each other that they'd miss tackles or be unable to block effectively when they faced live opponents. He also knew that the teams remaining in the tournament were the best of this Arena Bowl VI collection.

For his part, Avant walked back to the elevator with a huge sense of relief, then walked back to bed. He set the alarm on his phone for 9 a.m. and sank back for a rewarding nap until it sounded.

Later, the team assembled on the bus and rode to the train they would take to Uranium City and the hotel there. Avant looked out the window as the bus began to pull out of the parking lot and saw Evelyn smiling and waving at the team bus. He waved back with a beaming smile.

The Stars enjoyed their time in Imgortur, but Uranium City and The Antarctic Forum awaited, along with destiny.

[Saint Kanye]

A.BOWL: YEEZIES EXPLODE IN SECOND HALF, PUT AWAY HOST FLEFTICS 91-40

by Chuck Duncan

URANIUM CITY - The moment of truth has finally arrived, the last day of the group stages of Arena Bowl VI in Abanhfleft. The 3-0 St. Kanye squad, who have the top defense in the tournament, will face the similarly undefeated host team, who boast of the best offense. Thousands of Yeezies, Fleftics, and other nationalities packed the Antarctic Forum for the clash, and were as pumped up as the players and staff that they'll be watching.

The fans were treated to a close game in the first, second, and most of the third quarter. The two teams swapped leads and tried to get within striking distance of each other. However, the Surge, as the Kanyeans are nicknamed, were able to pull away and eventually escape as 91-40 victors.

The hosts struck first, converting a long pass from QB Anuraag Patil to wideout Ishwar Navathe into six points, seven with the Veer Kumar extra point. St. Kanye then equalized with a Noah Sherman run, though not for long, as Kumar kicked a field goal to put the Fleftics ahead by three; several sequences later, it was the white-clad Surge clinging to a 21-17 lead after fifteen minutes of play.

Abanhfleft would take the lead back in the second period thanks to a nine-yard touchdown run by running back Madhavacharta Banahatti. The visitors' response was a pass from Landon Klein to Bruce Dobler, giving them a four-point lead. Later, it increased to eleven, as Patrick Moore caught a beautiful pass despite double coverage, then escaped his defenders on the way to the end zone. Neither team scored for the remainder of the quarter, and the Kanyeans would retreat to the locker rooms with a 35-24 advantage.

But the Fleftics wouldn't go down without a fight. An Aryabhata Patil reception and a Kumar field goal later, the visitors' lead was cut to one, 35-34. The Kanyeans had the chance to increase this lead, but after turning the ball over on downs, the hosts are now aiming to retake the lead. Anuraag Patil dropped back to throw a long bomb, then released .... right in the hands of Surge defensive specialist Gary Bradman. Bradman clutched the ball tightly, leaping over a downed Patil and ran all the way to six points, plus one from kicker James Rasputin.

This pick six was said to be what tipped the scales in St. Kanye's favor. For the rest of the game, they added six more touchdowns to their tally, including another interception return courtesy of Aidan O'Connor. The Fleftics added just one, with no extra point as they went for two and failed. "It was a very back and forth game at the start. Abanhfleft could have retaken the lead if not for that Bradman pick. We would still be locked in a battle with no clear winner yet. But then it seems as if a fire was lit under us", said QB Klein, who finished with 454 passing yards, eight touchdown passes and zero interceptions (though he was sacked three times). "We showed them [the Fleftics] what we could do on defense, as well as on offense. But I admit, they had some standout moments too. Hoping for more great games between us and them in the future", added RB/LB Sherman.

The Western Carolina Union finally put up a winning effort, beating Bekian Impei 54-46 in the opener. Both teams, along with Xanneria, are eliminated, though. Abanhfleft would go on to face the Sarzonia Stars in the quarterfinals, while the Surge would do battle with the Eagles of the Andromeda Archipelago. The Andromedans are all women, but Kanyean head coach Jeff Delphine isn't taking them lightly. "We've watched some of their games on tape, and they can play the game as good as men can. Gender won't be an issue here, it'll be just two good teams against each other. We'll continue practicing and strategizing. We didn't win all those games for nothing. The title is in sight, and the challenges are getting harder, but we'll do all we can to push through." It can be remembered that in the 19th International Basketball Championships, it was also an Eagles team (back when their country was called the Andromeda Islands) who booted the debuting Surge basketball team from the playoffs. "We'll be trying to stop something similar from happening this time around", said Coach Delphine.

---

Scoring Information:

AFT - Navathe 28 pass from An. Patil (Kumar kick) AFT 7-0
STK - Sherman 13 run (Rasputin kick) Tie 7-7
AFT - field goal Kumar 20 AFT 10-7
STK - Dobler 15 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) STK 14-10
AFT - Ar. Patil 26 pass from An. Patil (Kumar kick) AFT 17-14
STK - Sherman 7 run (Rasputin kick) STK 21-17

AFT - Banahatti 9 run (Kumar kick) AFT 24-21
STK - Dobler 13 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) STK 28-24
STK - Moore 20 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) STK 35-24

AFT - Ar. Patil 10 pass from An. Patil (Kumar kick) STK 35-31
AFT - field goal Kumar 20 STK 35-34
STK - Bradman 31 interception return (Rasputin kick) STK 42-34
STK - Moore 16 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) STK 49-34
STK - Dobler 18 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) STK 56-34

STK - O'Connor 19 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) STK 63-34
STK - O'Connor 23 interception return (Rasputin kick) STK 70-34
AFT - Banahatti 22 run (Two-point conversion failed) STK 70-40
STK - Dobler 11 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) STK 77-40
STK - Sherman 15 run (Rasputin kick) STK 84-40
STK - Moore 24 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) STK 91-40

[The Andromeda Archipelago]

Andromeda Eagles vs. St. Kanye Surge
Farhan Chohan Stadium
Vikrant, Trendstart Colony, Abanhfleft
Saturday, September 7, 2019
Before Kickoff

For most of the week, local media played up both the David vs. Goliath aspect and the Cinderella story aspect in the build up to this game. Footage of Opie Robertson in the Eagles’ first game losing her shoe only added to Cinderella parallel the media wanted to make.

The Eagles come onto the field first, going through practice drills for the benefit of incoming fans. During these drills, QB Geri Benton walks over to Coach Maddie Kim.

“Coach, I’m sorry, but we really shouldn’t do this.”

“Geri. It’s just for one play and the fans will love it.”

“But it’s not right. What would happen if…?”

“The decision has been made, Geri.”

As Benton runs back out to the field, Assistant Coach Willa Pittman walks over to Coach Kim.

“You understand why we’re all concerned, right?”

“I do. After the first snap, Britt will take a knee and it’ll be done.”

----------

The players from both teams are on the sidelines. They stood through the Abanhfleft National Anthem. They also stood through ‘I Vow to Thee, Andromeda’ the Andromeda National Anthem. Some of the Eagles sang the Anthem.

Nobody on the team knows the St. Kanye National Anthem. An up-tempo beat plays over the PA system and it sounds as if someone is rapping over the track. Coach Kim and Coach Pittman are both at a loss.

Pittman looks at Kim. “This? This is their national anthem?”

Coach Kim points at Coach Cardenas. She, and many of the Eagles, have joined the St. Kanye contingent in doing the wop.

Kim shrugs her shoulders. “I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger…”

----------

The public address announcer is going through both starting lineups. He has finished most of the Andromeda starting line-up.

“At Center. #21, standing at 5’10”. Mel Lowe.”

Mel Lowe runs out to the line of starters.

“At Quarterback. #13, standing at 5’7”. Geri Benton.”

Benton comes out.

“And, at Wide Receiver. #51, standing at 5’6”. Kerri Zimmerman.

The Andromedan contingent all stand up and applauded. Zimmerman missed the last two games due to a concussion from the Eagles’ game with Sarzonia. After Zimmerman’s applause, which is a little longer than usual, the PA announcer goes through the Surge lineup.

----------

The Eagles take the field. As Zimmerman goes out, her team mate, Ivanna White runs out with her.

“You okay, babe?”

“It’s only for a play or two. That’s what they tell me.”

“Kerri. Are YOU okay?”

Zimmerman closes her eyes for a few seconds. She hears the crowd’s excitement in anticipation of kickoff. White grabs her hand.”

“Are you sure you’re all right?”

“I’ve never felt better.”

[Abanhfleft]

For the 189 in the service of heaven, their path to glory was paved in salvation.
How will your team pave their path, and will it take them to salvation or to damnation?
CUTOFF for the Quarterfinals of NS Arena Bowl VI.

---

Saint Kanye 41–24 The Andromeda Archipelago

Abanhfleft 41–50 Sarzonia

United Civil States 29–57 Terre Septentrionale

Free Republics 53–39 Saintland

---

ARENA BOWL VI
SEMIFINALS MATCHES

Saint Kanye vs Sarzonia
@ URGA Arena, Norrdnhammr

Terre Septentrionale vs Free Republics
@ Imgortur Ice Sports Center, Imgortur

[Sarzonia]

If Sarzonia is going to win anything, they're going to have to learn to handle adversity.

That has been Chad Embry's message from the first time he assembled the Sarzonian national indoor gridball team for its first meeting. He made that point again after their first victory, then again after beating The Andromeda Archipelago.

The Stars faced a truly hostile crowd for the first time and a truly strong team for the second time. They were leading 44-41 with 22 seconds remaining in regulation and had just stopped the host nation Abanhfleft on third and 2 from the Sarzonia 11-yard line.

The home crowd at The Antarctic Forum groaned at the decision. They wanted the Fleftics to go for it on fourth down and not risk the vagaries of sudden death overtime.

"The field goal attempt will be from 27 yards out. This is possible overtime here, folks," Stars play by play announcer Clay Hicks said.

"Time out!" Embry said, using one of gridball's oldest strategies. He gathered the team together and simply said, "This is what all those drills during training camp come down to. Watch out for the fake."

The Stars were ready to get back out there. They lined up for the attempt, then the snap came.

"Here's the kick from Kumar, it's up and IT'S BLOCKED! THE KICK IS BLOCKED! LAWRENCE TYLER HAS PICKED UP THE BALL AND HE'S GONNA TAKE IT ALL THE WAY! TOUCHDOWN STARS!"

Embry waved his arms as if he were declining a penalty when the referee asked him if he wanted to kick the extra point. The Stars escaped Uranium City with a tight victory over the hosts and would learn their next opponent was THE juggernaut of Arena Bowl VI.

Saint Kanye.

The Stars knew they were underdogs going in, but they stepped up to the role against the Fleftics. Now they would really have a test against the 5-0 Surge.

That would be the challenge for another day. That would be the job of the coaches to draw up a game plan. For tonight, Embry had a simple message for the Stars.

Enjoy the moment.

[Saint Kanye]

SURGE THROUGH TO A. BOWL SEMIS WITH 41-24 WIN OVER EAGLES

by Lucy Bobo

VIKRANT - "We've watched some of their games on tape, and they can play the game as good as men can. Gender won't be an issue here, it'll be just two good teams against each other [...]The title is in sight, and the challenges are getting harder, but we'll do all we can to push through."

Thus said Jeff Delphine, head coach of the Kanyean national arena gridiron squad, referring to the team from the Andromeda Archipelago, who they will face in the quarterfinals of Arena Bowl VI here in Abanhfleft. The Eagles, as the Andromedans are known, are all women, as opposed to the all-male Surge squad. Coach Delphine's words about their female opponents being as good as the men proved to be true, as the Eagles opened up a 21-nil lead on the Surge midway through the second quarter of their quarters matchup. But the Kanyeans once again showed their ability to climb back from adversity, eventually tying the game at the end of the third period, and then going on a fourth quarter rampage to advance to the semifinals with a 41-24 victory at Farhan Chohan Stadium here.

The Surge wore their alternate home outfit of purple tops and black pants, and lost the opening coin toss. The Andromedans kicked off to Kanyean return man Taylor Johns at the three-yard line, and Johns was only able to advance nine yards before being hammered by Carmen Ramirez, taking him out with an injury.

Andromedan quarterback Britt McManus (who ended up starting, since Gerri Benton, the announced starter, refused to take the field because of flu-like symptoms) had a brilliant start, connecting with receivers Jasmine Hopkins (once) and Opie Robertson (twice). The Eagle defense held up their end and prevented the Surge from scoring for the first quarter and a half of the game. Just after Robertson visited the end zone for the second time, Coach Delphine called a timeout. "I told the team not to lose focus", he remembered. "The half's not over. We can't let them [the Eagles] have the entire first half to themselves and be too confident that the second half will be ours. We gotta take action and try to not let this deficit grow. That's what I told them."

St. Kanye managed to cut the lead down to seven, 21-14, on a Landon Klein touchdown pass to Patrick Moore, and then a run by Sherman coming off a very long drive. In the third quarter, a Molly Green field goal put the Eagles back up ahead by ten, 24-14. Their defense once again shackled the Yeezie offense, and they had the chance to further increase the Andromedan lead. McManus tossed the pigskin from the Kanyeans' 19-yard line. Receiver Ivanna White was able to escape two defenders in purple, and now had a clear path to the endzone. However, the ball slipped past her fingertips, and the pass was ruled incomplete. Second attempt. McManus once again stepped back. The Surge's Matt Dawson broke through the opposing offensive line, took the Andromedan QB down, and caused her to drop the ball. Dobler snatched up the loose ball and ran back until he was brought down by the Eagles. On the Surge's next drive, Dobler caught a bullet pass from Klein for a touchdown, which with the James Rasputin extra point made it just 24-21 in favor of TAA. Later, after a three and out, Rasputin banged in the equalizing field goal, silencing the Andromedan crowd.

It only got worse for the Eagles from there. In the fourth quarter, McManus was once again strip-sacked by Dawson, and on the Kanyeans' next play, Dobler beat White for his second TD. Hunter Lane hauled in an interception return for a two-score advantage, 38-24, and Rasputin sealed the deal with another field goal in the dying seconds of the game.

Dawson took man of the match honors with his three sacks, two resulting in fumbles. He said in an interview, "The Eagle offense had us in the first half, not gonna lie. But we increased our efforts and showed them why we're considered the top defense in this tournament. That contributed to the victory. I'm glad we'll be through to the semis this time. That's one more match to reach the finals, and then another to actually win it. We worked hard for the last five games, why not the next two?"

The next opponent for the Kanyeans are the Sarzonia Stars, who beat hosts Abanhfleft 50-41 on a last-second kick six. It is interesting to note that St. Kanye and Sarzonia have seven IBC titles among them (four for the former and three for the latter), but have never faced each other on the court, or on the arena ball field. That is, until their next game. "The Stars are another of those great teams in this tournament. We expect as tough of a challenge from them as we had from the Fleftics and Andromedans, if not tougher. We'll put in our effort, but we also need the fans' support", said Coach Delphine. The Surge will wear all white, same as they did against the hosts in the elimination round, and the venue will be at the URGA Arena in Norrdnhammr.

Scoring Information:-

TAA - Hopkins 17 pass from McManus (Green kick) TAA 7-0
TAA - Robertson 27 pass from McManus (Green kick) TAA 14-0

TAA - Robertson 23 pass from McManus (Green kick) TAA 21-0
STK - Moore 14 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) TAA 21-7
STK - Sherman 6 run (Rasputin kick) TAA 21-14

TAA - field goal Green 17 TAA 24-14
STK - Dobler 21 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) TAA 24-21
STK - field goal Rasputin 14 Tie 24-24

STK - Dobler 24 pass from Klein (Rasputin kick) STK 31-24
STK - Lane 37 interception return (Rasputin kick) STK 38-24
STK - field goal Rasputin 11 STK 41-24

[Abanhfleft]

And it's the end of the line of the final journey.
Only two teams can move on to the final, while the others will have to content themselves with a chance at the bronze.
CUTOFF for the semifinals of NS Arena Bowl VI.

---

Saint Kanye 36–32 Sarzonia

Terre Septentrionale 27–41 Free Republics

---

NS ARENA BOWL VI
GRAND FINAL

SAINT KANYE versus FREE REPUBLICS
@ The Antarctic Forum, Uranium City

THIRD PLACE PLAYOFF GAME

Sarzonia versus Terre Septentrionale
@ Farhan Chohan Stadium, Vikrant

FRIENDLY HOST REMINDER that scorination of both the third place game and the final will take place on 22 August 2019 9 PM (UTC+8) so you all have at least 72 hours to put up your final-winning RPs.

[Sarzonia]

One thing was clear when St. Kanye and Sarzonia faced each other in the Arena Bowl VI semifinals.

The Stars were not intimidated.

They stared straight ahead as the song announced as the Yeezie national anthem played. Three Stars were visibly uncomfortable with the loud rap music, but Chad Embry smirked. The Yeezies would hear hard driving, guitar-heavy rock as the Fleetwood Mac song "Freedom" blared on the loudspeakers as the Sarzonian national anthem.

The teams lined up as kicker Joe Avant prepared to launch the opening kickoff. What most observers didn't realise was that Embry asked Avant to try an onside kick to surprise the Surge. The Stars recovered the kick, but there were two flags on the play.

"Illegal touching, kicking team. Offsides, return team. By rule, the penalties offset. Rekick."

Embry rolled his eyes, knowing the element of surprise was gone. He shook his head and motioned for Avant to kick the ball normally. With his second kickoff attempt, Avant launched it into the netting. Fortunately for the Stars, it caromed off the net with enough time for the team to limit the return to the four-yard line.

On first down, quarterback Landon Klein made Sarzonia pay for blitzing with a 46-yard strike that got the crowd buzzing. With the James Rasputin extra point, the Surge had a 7-0 lead. They would make it 10-0 after Clark Weston got picked off. Only Weston's tackle on the one prevented a disastrous 14-0 deficit, but Weston hobbled off the pitch with a sprained knee.

That forced the Stars to use backup quarterback Ja'relle Gaffney and forced Embry to take the deep throws out of his game plan. Gaffney's first series was a three and out, leading to a 41-yard Avant field goal attempt.

The kick ended up in the netting and was returned to the 22. Sarzonia defensive coordinator Skip Donahue decided to show blitz but drop back in coverage on first down. This time, it worked as Asante Daniels sacked Klein for a 10-yard loss and a forced fumble, which defensive specialist Dylan Geoffrey scooped up and returned for six.

The game continued with the Stars taking a 17-16 lead at halftime, but the Surge did just that in the third, scoring 20 points in the frame. They weathered Sarzonia's fourth quarter comeback with an onside kick recovery with 41 seconds left after Gaffney ran it in from his own 13.

The Stars had one more match left after the heartbreaking loss to the Surge, the third place match against Terre Septentrionale in three days. It wasn't the outcome the Stars wanted, but it was enough to generate interest in a new Sarzonian indoor gridball league that would begin play in six months.

[Saint Kanye]

SURGE SURVIVE STARS 36-32, HEAD TO A. BOWL FINALS

by Chuck Duncan

NORRDNHAMMR - The Kanyean national arena gridiron team has cleared yet another obstacle to their path to the finals of Arena Bowl VI, and as expected, it's been tougher than the previous ones. The biggest win for the Surge so far has been of the smallest margin, 36-32, over the much more experienced Stars team from Sarzonia. Jeff Delphine, head coach of the Yeezies, praised not only his team but also the opponents for giving them a good semifinals battle. "The Stars are a very physical team, sure, but they also played up on the mental aspects of the game. At times we got outsmarted by their trick plays and strategies, but thanks to the combined efforts of our defense, offense, even the special teams, we held it together. Now we're in the big game, and we hope to make an impact and complete what has so far been a very impressive debut."

The white-clad Surge emerged from the dugouts of URGA Arena here in Abanhfleft to their signature rap entrance music (OOC: not the national anthem, guys, come on), which they thought would pump up both themselves and the crowd; the Stars went with intense rock music. Neither team looked intimidated with the other. Sarzonia decided to go for an onside kick, but they were flagged, repeated the kick, and pinned the Kanyeans on their own four. But Surge quarterback Landon Klein showed off his cannon arm, throwing deep to speedy receiver Patrick Moore for a forty-six yard touchdown and the first points of the game. It was a back-and-forth affair after that, with St. Kanye making it 10-0 after a James Rasputin chip shot, and the Sarzonians tying the score on a Joe Avant field goal and then a Dylan Geoffrey fumble return. Eventually it was the Stars who would retreat to the lockers with a one-point halftime advantage, 17-16. Once again it would fall on the hands of Coach Delphine to motivate his players to get their heads in the game.

"They were matching us pace by pace", the Kanyean mentor recalled saying. "We can't have that. We need to pull ahead, then pull away, any way we can. We can't get intimidated, or outsmarted." Then he and the assistant coaches drew up different plays for the Surge, which ended up working in their favor as the second half commenced. Klein threw two more long bombs for touchdowns, to Bruce Dobler and Mason Schwartz, and Randall Cole added a 38-yard run, for twenty unanswered points (Rasputin's extra point attempt on the Schwartz TD bounced off the net and was unable to be returned by the Stars). Down 36-17 at the start of the fourth, the Stars tried to claw back and eventually cut the lead to four with less than a minute left. However, St. Kanye recovered the onside kick and just took a knee to run out the clock.

Coach Delphine went over to his Sarzonian counterpart Chad Embry to shake hands; the players of the two teams did the same. Kanyean WR/DB Aidan O'Connor (who recovered the final onside kick) exchanged his white jersey for opposing QB Ja'relle Gaffney's colored one in a gesture of good will between the two players. "Thanks for the good game, and good luck to you in your third place battle", O'Connor told Gaffney. The Stars will face the Terre Septentrionale Northmen, who were beaten by the Free Republics team 41-27, for the bronze. This game will be held at the Farhan Chohan Stadium in Vikrant, while for their championship game, the Surge will revisit the Antarctic Forum in Uranium City, the site of the first four of their six victories thus far. They will wear purple over purple.

(OOC: Scoring information not included to respect Sarzonia's non-permission to godmod scoring events.)

[Abanhfleft]

Broken dreams so grand; sing of their final stand.
This is where it all ends, where everyone's fate is decided. Long live the kings of NS Arena Bowl VI.
The final CUTOFF for NS Arena Bowl VI is here.

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NS ARENA BOWL VI
THIRD PLACE PLAYOFF GAME

Sarzonia 60-34 Terre Septentrionale
@ Farhan Chohan Stadium, Vikrant

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NS ARENA BOWL VI
GRAND FINAL

Saint Kanye 80-16 Free Republics
@ The Antarctic Forum, Uranium City

Congratulations to the winner and commiserations to the loser.

And that is all from NS Arena Bowl VI! Thank you all once again for allowing me to be your hosts for this tournament, and another thank you to those who participated. But that is now all, folks, and good night from the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft!

[Sarzonia]

It wasn't the match the Sarzonian national team wanted to play. The stakes weren't what the Stars wanted for their final match of Arena Bowl VI.

They were lining up against Terre Septentrionale at Farhan Chohan Stadium in Vikrant to play for the bronze instead of facing off at The Atlantic Forum in Uranium City for the Arena Bowl championship. Chad Embry likely would face questions about his decisions against Saint Kanye. He likely would get questions about giving depth players so many reps during the group stages.

He knew he would be able to handle the questions thrown at him. He also knew the questions would carry less weight if his team weren't consigned as pewter medalists.

The Stars made sure to take care of business, even with Ja'relle Gaffney behind centre. The backup quarterback used a combination of his arm, completing 30-of-44 passes for 332 yards and four touchdowns, and his legs, rushing 14 times for 92 yards and three scores. He also ran for two two-point conversions to provide the final margin of victory. Meanwhile, Terre Septentrionale was left wondering what if when Buck Schwarzer mishandled a high snap on what would have been a tying extra point after his 29-yard touchdown strike to Jamaal McAllister cut the Stars lead to 35-34 after the Stars originally took a 35-7 halftime lead.

Sarzonia (6-1) gained momentum from the Nordiques missed opportunity and scored the next 25 points to close out the game. Finally, with 18 seconds left after the Nordiques turned the ball over on downs from the Sarzonia 19, original starting quarterback Clark Weston jogged back onto the pitch. Embry decided to give him the honour of taking a knee to close out the day for the Stars.

"Clark was the biggest reason we played seven matches in this tournament," Embry said. "We wouldn't have been the same team without him." Embry admitted that Weston would have suited up as the emergency quarterback because the Stars were only carrying two quarterbacks.

"If we lost both guys, we probably would have thrown [kicker] Joe [Avant] in as the quarterback," Embry said.

Defensive coordinator Skip Donahue admitted who Embry's real choice would have been: reserve reciever/defensive back Chris Stallworth.

"Chad has an interesting sense of humour," Donahue said. Meanwhile, he credited his players with completely shutting down the Nordiques after their comeback attempt fell short.

"Our guys played their rear ends off," he said. "It wasn't schemes. It was attitude."

The Stars gathered in the dressing room after they stepped off the medal stand with their third place bronze medals around their necks and watched the finale between Saint Kanye and Free Republics. They watched the Surge dominate the final the way they dominated the group stages and the second half of their quarterfinal fixture against The Andromeda Archipelago. When the anticlimatic match went final and the Yeezies began to celebrate their championship, Gaffney made the observation many among the players were thinking.

"We're the only team to hold them to a single-digit margin of victory."

It was small comfort for a team that faced off against the most intimidating indoor football side in the multiverse and didn't blink. But hey, it was something. And it was more than enough momentum to generate interest in the new indoor gridball league that was starting up in Sarzonia.