First Wind (née Boldsport) Galacticos History

by **Nephara** » Thu Aug 06, 2020 1:25 am

On a well-polished stage in the Eagles Club Brinemouth, surrounded by lavish tables occupied by well-fed, liquored up and deep-pocketed suits from all corners of the multiverse...
"Ladies, gentlemen and miscellaneous! It is time to present ... the Cycle 76 Galacticos!"
The booming shout bullies the crowd into applause, as an explosion of dry smoke wafts across the room and clouds too distinctly feminine figures hovering near the back of the stage.
"After their one serious hit album, Bygones be Bygones, smote the airwaves six years ago, they have passed into the mists of obscurity... well, our lucky audience, we now have the pleasure to return these talented somewhat young strings duo into the light! Presenting the indescribable, the insatiable, the inescapable ... GAHALATINE AND ZAZA!"
Two beautiful women stride into view to applause, cheers and proposals. Gahalatine, the curvaceous one, looks as though she has spent the past year in the wilderness murdering and collecting the pelts of giant butterflies to become their fey queen. Zaza, slimmer, is actually wearing a dress.
"Good evening multiverse!" they bellow, as one. They love the applause. The attention. It has been far, far too long.
Immediately, unscheduled, they break into song.

After a time, the hissed voices in their ears convince them to end a stanza early, which they just about make look natural. They settle into wide, false smiles that don't reach their eyes. The crowd applauds.
"So! Gahalatine! What is a Galactico?"
Zaza flashes a winning smile at the audience, making it clear they should laugh merrily with the ingenue. Several do.
"Oh, Zaza! Why, a Galactico is one of the greatest footballers in the multiverse? And what better place to announce them than in this sacred shrine of football, the Eagles Club, concerned only with prestige earned through silverware and history, untouched by crass finance, with catering provided and sponsored by First Wind™️ energy drinks: You Won't Need A Second™️, try its new Blueberry Monsoon™️ flavour in stores next week, unsuitable for pregnant mothers and children?"
"And how have we judged them, Gahalatine?"
"Well, we've selected over a hundred journalists from across the world to submit lists of the best players over the past year; the IFCF2 season and World Cup 85."
"But wait, Gahalatine!" Zaza claps her dainty hands to her cheeks. "Last year's competition was about World Cup 84, and that tournament was two years ag--"
Gahalatine laughs nervously. "Now, now, Zaza, don't look too closely into the vagaries of time or they will unwind and with their cleaving sunder the foundation of the world!"
Zaza laughs along with the audience.
"And now, without further ado, let's begin the presentation of the Galacticos Longlist!"

Goalkeepers [7]
Kevin Belgrave - EUR - Directus (EUR)
Gentle Breeze - EQS - AC Izotz Zubia (AUD)
Dinii Eduun - MRN - Northern Stallions (BRE)
Paulo Gaviria - VLD - Nacional (VLD)
Ewald Heuser - STL - FC Teussen Stelburg (STL)
Aranea Provost - NPH - Holdenberg (EUR)
Sean Smørdal - VAL - Starling (NPH)

Rightbacks [5]
Elouan Elbaz - EFL - RGS Athletic (EFL)
Oliver Spencer - RCN - Brinemouth (NPH
Reuter Storsjo - SRS - Traal Athletics (SRS)
Rovena Stride - NPH - AFC Treason (NPH)
Darien Vesele - STL - Rene Skae (FFD)

Centrebacks [22]
Ralf Bader - PAS - Directus (EUR)
Kosa Bajnok - FFD - Crisisbless (NPH)
Berker Balkan - TMR - Uryanspor (TMR)
Enzo Bianchi - OSR - Fontvielle Impact (VLD)
Ilyana Brosch - NPH - Brinemouth (NPH)
Kuma Bultum - BNJ - Raynor City United (BNJ)
Henri de Aea - CMT - Holdenberg (EUR)
Matheo Dybvik - VAL - Rozelle (BRE)
Renato Hargreaves - EFL - Hellinic Rouge (PAS)
Inteali Koranjo - VIL - Cazadores Cathair (AUD) - U21
Gabriel Lockheed - NPH - AFC Treason (NPH)
Taras Maksimov - STL - Energija Chernovets (STL)
Brian Sanders - CBP - CS Saint-Rémy (KSK)
Minne van Schelven - KOR - Straudum (KOR)
Dean Steele - EUR - Brinemouth (NPH)
Sydney Stefred - ZWZ - Arlington City (ZWZ)
Roxelana Thorn - NPH - Revolutionaries (EUR)
Ciriko Useternix - FFD - Felsenkirchen (STL)
Oscar Veloso - AUD - Kingsgrove (BRE)
Hans Vold - VAL - Rolalas FC (VAL)
Yelto-Alfan Ono - QUS - Southern Star (BRE) / KFQ Qavazujzy (QUS)
Polina Zirkova - SVJ - CASK Sjoedrhavn (SVJ)

Leftbacks [9]
Deli Acs - PAS - Directus (EUR)
Lucy Almwood - NPH - AFC Corvistone (NPH)
Tim Bowler - KSK - Bayern Phoenix (TAE)
Marcin Close - NPH - Brinemouth (NPH)
Hela Isarghie - SAJ - Maal Daemons (MRN)
Eino Kiivala - SVJ - 1879 Felsenkirchen 9STL)
Pia Levaani - MRN - Rozelle (BRE)
Edgar Steimle - STL - 1912 Stelburg (STL)
Gethin Quill - BRE - Revolutionaries (EUR)

"So how many names are there this time, Gahalatine?"
"Oh, Zaza!" The thicker of the hourglasses flashes an indulgent smile to the audience. "Why, this time there are a hundred and twenty-five!"
"So why are there so many? Except rightbacks? And why does the number keep changing?"
"Weeeell... I should say, Zaza, that it reflects the overwhelming brilliance of the current catchment of players and leagues. And anyway, no matter what happens, football wins."
"What does that even me--"
"And now it would be our divine pleasure to present the wonderful Carsten Blass for a musical interlude..."

Right Midfield [12]
Ramona Ambaile-Hund - KFQ Qavazujzy (QUS)
Swanhilda Berisha - KFQ Rekonsylat (QUS)
Lauren Cheney - BRE - Spartangrad (EUR)
Jan Gersten - PAS - Bastion (EUR)
Kasumi Hayabausa - HIN - Manechester City HC (EQS)
Mikhail Jashkin - SVJ - Farrenton Athletic (EUR)
Palina Leopold - NPH - Admiral Storevik (SVJ)
Masaki Onishi - HIN - Elektriklestirmespor (TMR)
Leonardo Rojas - VLD - AS Bezieres (VLD)
Monako Saroszi - NPH - Ulsa (EUR)
Bryger Tidesson - COS - Brinemouth (NPH)
Panfilo Veliz - VAL - FC Capri (VAL)

Central Midfield [32]
Calindra Apelles - STB - Northern Union (BRE)
Liam Armstrong - EUR - 1830 Cathair (AUD)
Mason Blueman - KSK - Soldarian FC (VAL)
Falcon Case - BRE/NPH - FC Felsenkirchen 1879 (STL)
Bryan Castillo - VLD - Hondo FC (VAL)
Farago rue Cazade - FFD - Brinemouth (NPH)
Keaton Durbridge - DEL - Di Maozoxe (FFD)
Kai Dias - CMT - Port Patrick United (SCT)
Graziana Din - EFL - Hellinic Rouge (PAS)
Craig Girard-Vaillancourt - EFL - RGS Athletic (EFL)
Laborious Hawk - VAL - Bastion (EUR)
Marco Hertel - RKQ - Servette FC (VLD)
Nycolas Jackson - TAE - RGS Athletic (EFL) - U21
Kamu Jacobs - BUS - Anomalies (CMT)
Otalia Kasmiir - MRN - Brinemouth (NPH)
Thorsten Kramer - STL - 1830 Cathair (AUD)
Lucas Kukiseso - ZWZ - Spenson Suburbia (ZWZ)
Rika Lundell - SVJ - Rotor Värstjö (SVJ)
Elysse Matheson - BRE - Hornchurch (BRE)
Servet Misidjan - NPH - Sporting Iturributa (ASG)
Chimera Moxham - NPH - Crawford City FC (COS)
Tulaki Rauogba - TUR - Rene Skae (FFD) - U21
Avi Renning - CEN - Port Sebastian (SCT)
Isla Ridenton - BRE - Jaglan Royals (SRS)
Vincent Robshaw - EUR - Northern Union (BRE)
Monica Rowland - EUR - Bastion (EUR)
Graore Sasca - FFD - KFQ Qavazujzy (QUS)
Jessica Siafik - SAJ - Maal Angels (MRN)
Lorenzo Taborn - CBP - MTK Kingsville (DAR)
Joshua Twoni - ZWZ - Arlington City (ZWZ)
Lui Wceil - FFD - Spartangrad (EUR)
Moira Woakes - EUR - Crisisbless (NPH)

Left Midfield [13]
Damion Bowman - EUR - Crisisbless (CRI)
Isidra Corvey - BRE - Ituraitz FC (ASG)
Jazmin Dragana - CMT - Myana (CMT)
Izoni Hocij - SRS - Chalesm FC (SRS)
Lavanya Naqvi - SRS - Ma Alameome (FFD)
Helek-Nenzi Ono - QUS - 1912 Stelburg (STL)
Kyran Knudsen - AUD - AC Izotz Zubia (AUD)
Mario Kogler - STL - FC Teussen Stelburg (STL)
Francis Sutherland - HVY - Cazadores Cathair (AUD) - U21
Rowena Strongbow - NPH - Directus (EUR)
Jzeovak Vladcik - SRS - Admiral Storevik (SVJ)
Krister Voynov - SVJ - Raynor City United (VAL)
Annabeth Westmoreland - CBP - Hondo FC (VAL)

Zaza almost seems to break kayfabe for a minute, frowning. "Hold on - what's Berisha doing there? She's piss--"
Gahalatine's smile grows tighter and toothier. "Because of her winning personality and equally winning record, Zaza! Are you questioning the wisdom of the myriad fantastic journalists whose papers paid the most money to join our exclusive list?"
"No, but--"
"Because their wisdom of course cannot be questioned, not even by a mind galvanised by the incredible sharpening force of First Wind™️ Three-melon Palate Disintegrator™️, scientifically proven by an in-house study to regrow brain cells in mice."
"It just seems to me like there's a conflicting quality vs. quantity balance here--"
"It was a really good fucking year for her, okay?"

Strikers [25]
Latona Basilisk - NPH - Coret Hawks (NPH)
Kurtis Bastable - NPH - Ulsa (EUR)
Thibault Benezet - VLD - Fontvielle Impact (VLD)
Edmün Çídh - FFD - Ma Alameome (FFD)
Kara Ciogach - BRE - Lajuno (EUR)
Xíxì Êns - FFD - Sabrefell Athletic (NPH)
Enrico Hanson-Conavacio - RKQ/SCT - Myana (CMT)
Nataša Horvat - PAS - Olympia FC (EFL)
Gelan-Yivix Eva - QUS - Megabrantid SC (SRS)
Alexander Jager - PAS - Revolutionaries (EUR)
Ilman Jawara - BNJ - Soldarian FC (VAL)
Pierre-Louis Le Tonnelier - EOT - Farrenton Athletic (EUR)
Creidne Lindauer - BRE - Cazadores Cathair (AUD)
Garnett Makanza - OSR - Osarese Marcadia (AUD)
Johannes Mandl - STL - FC Felsenkirchen 1879 (STL)
Olly Masiku - AUD - Eastal Lunar (VIL)
Meldi'ita Mungwaii - TUR - Jungle Strike FC (VIL)
Andre Naulo - SAJ - Northern Stallions (BRE)
Freya Simonsen - SCT - Handon United (SCT)
Hansel Tang - PFA - Advance Alara (KOR)
Cathal Turner - COS - Sabrefell Moths (NPH)
Yasone Urdanibia - ASG - Royal Rumiatzi (ASG)
Valrauncion - KRY - AC Izotz Zubia (AUD)
Olimpia Vidal - EFL - Cazadores Cathair (AUD)
Linvoi Warazil - VIL - Raynor City United (VAL)

"And after the inevitable final cascade of strikers," croons Gahalatine, "we bring an end to the Longlist. Can you tell me what comes next, Zaza?"
Zaza's smile fades. She casts a furtive glance at the audience, then murmurs into Gahalatine's ear. "I think we've swapped lines. Aren't I meant to be the thick one?"
"Not on your diet, I shouldn't think."
"No, I mean, like, the stupid one who asks the dumb questions."
"I think this is still consistent with my characterisation. I'm asking you expecting you to fumble. What's your line?"
"I've been ad-libbing since like the intro."
"Fuck me, alright."
The two of them turn back to the audience and grin like the last five seconds haven't happened. "Well," says Zaza uncertainly, "what's next is the--"
"Wrong! It's the shortlist!
"I was--"
"Yes, the hypothetical strongest twenty-three-man squad in the world. And gilding them, their 'starting XI' if you will... the true Galacticos. But first! We must set the world alight with our hot new single scheduled for release on streaming platforms tomorrow - Debonaire Stargazer!"
Despite the angry protestations of the beleagured producer in the ear, the pair continue...

Shortlist Coming Soon!

by **Nephara** » Sat Aug 29, 2020 3:00 am

After a substantial layoff, long enough for a proper bollocking backstage, Gahalatine and Zaza re-emerge rather more subdued to put the closing touches on the ceremony. Yes, it's time - the Galacticos short-list is here!

"The strongest hypothetical squad in the world. And of course," croons Gahalatine, "what does this mean for the 'starting XI', Zaza?"
"Don't you know?"
"Of course I do, Zaza! I'm just... testing you!"
"Oh, well. These are..." Zaza smiles with the desperation of a woman sensing the end of her career is night, grasping at the final 15 minutes of fame she may ever see. "... these are the true Galacticos! The hypothetical best 11 in the world, a team that would sweep any side in the world into the garbage on its way to World Cup and Unofficial World Championship glory!"
"While remaining hydrated by our gracious sponsors, First Wind (TM) (Won't Need A Second (TM)), of course."
"Naturally!"

GK - Sean Smørdal - VAL - Starling (NPH)
Dinii Eduun - MRN - Northern Stallions (BRE), Paulo Gaviria - VLD - Nacional (VLD)

RB - Oliver Spencer - RCN - Brinemouth (NPH)
Rovena Stride - NPH - AFC Treason (NPH)

CB - Çìríkò Ûsêtêrnìx - FFD - FC Felsenkirchen 1879 (STL)
CB - Roxelana Thorn - NPH - Revolutionaries (EUR)
Kuma Bultum - BNJ - Raynor City United (VAL), Inteali Koranjo - VIL - Cazadores Cathair (AUD)

LB - Marcin Close - NPH - Brinemouth (NPH)
Deli Acs - PAS - Directus (EUR)

--

Gahalatine looks curiously dismayed at the selection. "Close? Really? Just for that bloody diary thing--"
"Aha, of course our inestimable panel has arrived at the objectively correct conclusion," says Zaza, desperately wresting the microphone stand from her colleague. "This is, of course, the most ironest of stern defences, the truest of clean sheet havers, uhm..."
"Oh, darling. You don't even know what words mean, do you?"

--

RM - Lauren Cheney - BRE - Spartangrad (EUR)
Mikhail Jashkin - SVJ - Farrenton Athletic (EUR)

HM - Monica Rowland - EUR - Bastion (EUR)
Lucas Kukiseso - ZWZ - Spenson Suburbia (ZWZ)

CM - Thorsten Kramer - STL - 1830 Cathair (AUD)
Calindra Apelles - STB - Northern Union (BRE)

LM - Rowena Strongbow - NPH - Directus (EUR)
Damion Bowman - EUR - Crisisbless (CRI)

--

The jocular atmosphere between the two fading stars is fraying distinctly. The night has gone on too long, they've necked too many cocktails backstage and everyone's just ready to go home. Meanwhile, the flag dictating Rowland's nationality flickers wildly between Nepharan and Euran, as if a feisty intern is trying and succeeding at becoming a social media icon.
"Oh! Spotless Rowena bloody Strongbow! Guess even getting sent off in a fucking final can't damage her--"
"Marisa!" says Zaza, scandalised. "I mean, shit, Gahalatine! Your real name! Ha ha, I don't know why I--"
Gahalatine regains her composure. "Ha, ha, ha, I don't know why, either, z a z a . This must just be our mutual rough, hard-spun Nephar charm. Isn't it."
"Oh! Oh, yes. Hence all the swearing, and, uhm, tattoos. And uh, easily resolved sexual tension."
"The point is, our flawless panel have selected yet more wonders of the human world."
"The... sapient world?"
"I meant what I fffffforcefully said, Zaza!" Gahalatine's smile could chill a baby to silence, or sell toothpaste on commercial television.

--

ST - Alexander Jager - PAS - Revolutionaries (EUR)
ST - Xíxì Êns - FFD - Sabrefell Athletic (NPH)
Olimpia Vidal - EFL - Cazadores Cathair (AUD), Kurtis Bastable - NPH - Ulsa (EUR)

--

"And with that, Gahalatine... that's it!" Relief shines through Zaza's sweaty, angular face, melting under the unforgiving stagelights. "We've survived."
She frowns shortly after, suspiciously as though a producer has just muttered something along the lines of 'but your careers haven't' in an unguarded moment.
"Almost," Gahalatine corrects her. "For while we have sorted out once and for all the eleven true Galacticos in the multiverse, there remains one final step. This is Nephara! And nothing is complete without ... that's right, shiny, shiny awards!"
"Oh... oh, good..."
"Ah, but first, a word from our sponsors, First Wind (TM) (You'll Never Need A Second (TM)) and their new Frothing Nightmare Volcano flavour, grown in a lab to replicate what happens when you throw a mint into the can..."

by **Nephara** » Thu Sep 03, 2020 9:00 pm

The interminable night is winding down. Gahalatine is dripping in sweat, idly fanning herself in a daze. Is she entirely... alright?
It will fall to Zaza, the leaner and ditzier of the two, to see this galleon back to shore.
They and every member in the audience has endured the readout of the 125 best players in the world, the 11 true Galacticos. And yet, there is still a distinction between a Galactico and the Galactico. Zaza clears her throat. It is, somehow, 11.30pm. It is time.

GALACTICOS MANAGER
Shortlist
1. Ager Alaba - ASG - KT Itzalovalle (AUD)
2. Barry Gorman - SCT - Port Sebastian (SCT)
3. Fabio Mancini - OSR - Osarese Marcadia (AUD)
4. Pierre Renquin - VLD - Servette FC (VLD)
5. Ine Skogen - VAL - Rolalas FC (VAL)

No documentaries to sway the vote, this time. Only capable people who have done the basics well. Alaba, a visionary hoping to take the next step to messiah, already rewarded for this season's glories. Gorman, that fiercely intense firefly of the international game, able to break the hegemony gripping his nation's game. Mancini, tacking a bunch of old countrymen together for one final charge. Renquin and Skogen, who hauled unglamorous sides to relevance. But who will come out on top?

THE YOUNG GALACTICO
Shortlist
1. Inteali Koranjo - VIL - Cazadores Cathair (AUD)
2. Nycolas Jackson - TAE - RGS Athletic (EFL)
3. Tulaki Rauogba - TUR - Rene Skae (FFD)

A very Vil/Tur focus, the nation's penchant for sending out its stars of the future early on paying off, but the interestingly-spelt Nycolas Jackson has also laid down a fair claim, combining international acclaim with continuing RGS' reign of terror in the Lodge.

THE GALACTICO
But this, Zaza unpacks wearily, is the part that everyone is here for. This is the true champion. Not all that glisters is gold... but one footballer is.

And with that, Galacticos season - and the offseason - draws to a close. It has, as always, been a pleasure. Thank you, and see you again next season!

by **Nephara** » Sun Oct 18, 2020 5:07 am

The scene is set. Wealthier, this time, a far cry from the shabby, ran-out-of-budget-years-ago surroundings of the ceremony last year. Certainly, the corporate suits and genuine players have been dined, but not wined. The conventionally attractive wait-staff dole out champagne flutes filled to the brim with what turns out to be various flavours of sickly-sweet, paralytically strong energy drink.
No longer does the sponsorship of the Galacticos rest with a legitimate football publication, a national institution. It rests now in the clammy hands of the First Wind energy company, known for brutalising the art of food science to turn sugary thirst-quenchers into abominations unto the eyes of God.
There is a chartreuse glow over the occasion.
"Ladies, gentlemen and miscellaneous! It is time to present ... the Cycle 77 Galacticos!"
Attention to the front. The services of Zaza and Gahalatine have been, improbably, retained; they have in fact had something of a revival in fortunes with the comeback release of Debonair Stargazer swelling to a mighty 29th in the charts. It appears that Zaza can now afford a cocaine habit; she's even twitcher than the audience.
Gahalatine grandly sweeps her arms to the audience. She explains to them the gravity of their task. Zaza plays the fool. But it is, by and large, thirty minutes spent telling everyone what they already know; that the Galacticos are the finest footballers in the multiverse, as dictated by a broad-ranging panel of internationally-renowned football writers. All those past a certain point get onto the list, which is sanded down to an appropriately round number - in this case, 110.
Zaza makes the mistake of asking a question out of genuine curiosity. "What about if there's fifty guys on six points? Who makes the cut?"
Gahalatine decides to overshare. "Well, there's an extensive list of tiebreakers - you know, some votes really are more equal than others! And then of course we can use our own discretion, to remove spoiled ballots. For instance, technically 'that security guard in Ruland who emptied a clip into the roof as 'team motivation'' passed the threshold, but, well..."
"Ah, but such a social media sensation!" sighed Zaza.
"In any case! I believe it is now time!" And judging by the naked relief on display across the uncomfortably wired audience, it is now time. "Time to announce the Karli-- the First Wind Galacticos Longlist!"

Goalkeepers [10]
Kevin Belgrave - EUR - Directus (EUR)
Gentle Breeze - EQS - AC Izotz Zubia (AUD)
Paige Daunten - ZWZ - La Nueva Avenida (FFD)
Cosmo Leopoldi - STB - Colonial Sile (TUR)
Alexandra Markgraf - NPH - Sabrefell Moths (NPH)
Iskendur Nur - TMR - Tihon (CMT)
Ewald Heuser - STL - FC Teussen Stelburg (STL)
Markus Portsman - XAN - Marinos Metropolis (VLD)
George Ross - DEL - Algolia (SRS)
Goran Stroud - AUD - 1830 Cathair (AUD) - U21

Rightbacks [7]
Ézo Gicquel - KOR - Bruncester United AFC (KOR)
Jerquaad - DAI - Cazadores Cathair (AUD)
Hadrian Pazos - KOR - CA Paulinthal (PAS) - U21
Rowena Stride - NPH - AFC Treason (NPH)
Cygnet Valeri - ASU - Resplendiente (TEQ)
Darijen Vesele - STL - Rene Skae (FFD)
Alma Watts - EUR - Soldarian FC (VAL)

Centrebacks [16]
Kosa Bajnok - FFD - Crisisbless (NPH)
Kuma Bultum - BNJ - Raynor City United (VAL)
Matteo Dybvik - VAL - Rozelle (BRE)
Joseline Fourtin - KSK - Felswyr (CMT)
Lukas Kayserling - RCN - Herzegovina City FC (BNJ)
Inteali Koranjo - VIL - Cazadores Cathair (AUD) - U21
Fabrice Manitopyes - QUE - Etoile Verte (VLD)
Kahala Murje - SAJ - AFC Treason (NPH)
Tristan Niedermayer - STL - AFC Corvistone (NPH)
Ciriko Useternix - FFD - FC Felsenkirchen 1879 (STL)
Lucien Raeff - QUE - Rozelle (BRE)
Dragora Steelhenge - NPH - Ibini FC (VAL)
Sydney Stefred - ZWZ - Arlington City (ZWZ)
Minne van Schelven - KOR - 1830 Cathair (AUD)
Roxelana Thorn - NPH - Revolutionaries (EUR)
Polina Zirkova - SVJ - Ulsa (EUR)

Leftbacks [8]
Deli Acs - PAS - Directus (EUR)
Lucy Almwood - EUR - AFC Corvistone (NPH)
Loxjilo Exihosahar - FFD - Royal Rumiatzi (ASG) - U21
Moises Fermandez - FFD - Bastion (EUR)
Valda Harkhan - SRS - Yassaca FC (SRS)
Valence Ilya - CMT - Northern Union (BRE)
Matts Pedersen - SVJ - CA Paulinthal (PAS)
Vivica Muscadin - NPH - Sabrefell Moths (NPH)

Right Midfield [9]
Tôsgo Alxíkí - FFD - Lâ Lüs (FFD) - U21
Rhydian Campbell - DEL - New Capetown Falcons (TAE)
Lauren Cheney - BRE - Spartangrad (EUR)
Erik Foeldessy - PAS - CA Paulinthal (PAS)
Moses Lofuko - CBR - MTK Kingsville (DAR)
Ihazintu Malkorra - ASG - Aries Chariots (NPH)
Mikhail Jashkin - SVJ - Directus (EUR)
Janna Sauthier - NPH- CASK Thorsborg (SVJ)
Lukas Tauscher - STL - FC Teussen Stelburg (STL)

Central Midfield [28]
Chris Ashton - EUR - Marinos Metropolis (VLD)
Liam Armstrong - EUR - 1830 Cathair (AUD)
Dilon Banach - SCT - Lonngeylin Coast (VIL)
Cristian Benitez - VLD - Nacional (VLD) - U21
Ígnîgo Çí Xôrí - FFD - Mâ Âlâmëómë (FFD)
Lothaire Cromwell - NPH - AFC Treason (NPH)
Mithya Hashemi - SRS - Anomalies (CMT)
Murray Hunnisett - HAP - Istria City FC (BNJ)
Nycolas Jackson - TAE - RGS Athletic (EFL)
Erin Kang - QUE - Rülândéá Kôstä (FFD)
Namakula Kawesa - BNJ - Tanrisal (PAS)
Thorsten Kramer - STL - 1830 Cathair (AUD)
Jewel Maddison - STB - X Island Marauders (TAE)
Bryton Menheniot - APX - Cazadores Cathair (AUD)
Moses Moxey - AUD - KT Itzalovalle (AUD) - U21
Chimera Moxham - NPH - Spartangrad (EUR)
Meldi'ita Mungwaii - TUR - Jungle Strike FC (VIL)
Linus Rallyton - KND - Yassaca FC (SRS)
Farago rue Cazade - FFD - Brinemouth (NPH)
Isla Ridenton - BRE - Jaglan Royals (SRS)
Lavinia Riitsi - MRN - Marque (BRE)
Vincent Robshaw - EUR - Northern Union (BRE)
Monica Rowland - EUR - Bastion (EUR)
Jessica Siafik - SAJ - Maal Angels (MRN)
Lorenzo Taborn - CBP - MTK Kingsville (CBP)
Iuri Takala - SRS - Megabrantid SC (SRS)
Joshua Twoni - ZWZ - Arlington City (ZWZ)
Meghan Wolcott - CAS - Herzegovina City FC (BNJ)

Left Midfield [12]
Damion Bowman - EUR - Crisisbless (NPH)
Andrey Bunev - STL - FK Metropola Borograd (STL)
Daisy Callum - CBP - Southern Star (BRE)
Pellegrin Csapo - PAS - Marque (BRE)
Alexis Durmisi - VLD - Urbizania Wanderers (ASG)
Kyran Knudsen - AUD - AC Izotz Zubia (AUD)
Colm O'Tuathail - KSK - Shamrock Cathair (AUD)
Wallace Pickton - EUR - CASK Thorsborg (SVJ)
Rowena Strongbow - NPH - Directus (EUR)
Annabeth Westmoreland - CBP - Hondo FC (VAL)
Larissa Vilhajalmsson - APX - Traal Athletics (SRS)
Krister Voynov - SVJ - Raynor City United (VAL)

Strikers [20]
Mâártën Âllámbâlár - FFD - CF Frantxizko-A (TEQ)
Kurtis Bastable - NPH - Ulsa (EUR)
Thibault Benezet - VLD - Sabrefell Athletic (NPH)
Brian Bond - EUR - Oakstone (EUR)
Edmün Çídh - FFD - Mâ Âlâmëómë (FFD)
Xixi Êns - FFD - Sabrefell Athletic (NPH)
Enrico Hanson-Conavacio - QUE - Myana (CMT)
Stanimir Ilev - STL - CA Paulinthal (PAS)
Danielle Jackson - CBR - Brinemouth (NPH)
Ilman Jawara - BNJ - Soldarian FC (VAL)
Gitonga Kahara - BNJ - Hoima Warriors (BNJ)
Nii'arala Milaaso - VIL - Jungle Strike (VIL)
Nya Murray - EFL - Hellinic-Rouge (PAS)
Michael Ribbeck - STL - Kingsgrove (BRE)
Torvald Royle - FPT - Istria City FC (BNJ)
Freya Sigurdsdottir - SVJ - ESK Storevik (SVJ)
Hansel Tang - PFA - Advance Alara (KOR)
Berali Tzufarei - VIL - Rammsissil (VIL)
Olimpia Vidal - CMT - Cazadores Cathair (AUD)
Linvoi Warazil - VIL - Raynor City United (VAL)

"But these are of course not true Galacticos!" sighed Gahalatine, after the last name was up.
"No? Oh, right..."
"No! For of course this was but the longlist. Those who made the cut, but didn't make the cut..."
The wait-staff went around refilling the flutes with uncomfortably shiny liquid. Macaroons began to be doled out. First Wind was, it turned out, soon to release a macaroon-flavoured energy drink, and so the captive audience had energy-drink-flavoured macaroons. Nobody was happy with this.
"The true Galacticos are to come. The shortlist. The Best 23. The ultimate World Cup team. And then, from there... ah, but first! The interlude! Our moment! An electrifying twelve-minute medley from our hit new album coming out in a month, Sailing Through The Mists of Love--"
A voice hissed urgently in Zaza's ear. She twitched. She blinked. She sighed.
"Mm, Gahalatine."
"Yessss?"
"Don't you mean, first, a word from our gracious sponsors at First Wind... ?"

by **Nephara** » Wed Nov 04, 2020 3:26 am

Names are called down, one by one. The Cycle 77 Galacticos are called out, the strongest of the strong, the XI to conquer all XIs. Only those excellent in all spheres and with room to grow, and dazzle, make their way to the top.
It is 2am. When did it become 2am? All refreshments remain caffeinated. Why is the room starting to spin? Zaza and Gahalatine finally cram through an opportunity to sing their upcoming single, Putting the Angels to Rest, to make an unsubstantiated claim that this is an official theme of both the IFCF and WCC, but it is at last time to announce the night's grand finale: the individual awards.

GALACTICOS MANAGER
Shortlist
1. Fêrm Égéré - FFD - Rülândéá Kôstä (FFD)
2. Laura Petrell - ZWZ - Arlington City (ZWZ)
3. Grey Holden - SCT - Aries Chariots (NPH)
4. Dragan Kryznjak - AUD - Directus (EUR)
5. Cheney Bittencourt - NPH - AFC Treason (NPH)

It's hard to stand out as one of the overdogs, particularly with three compelling underdog stories. Name the best side in Ruland. Name the second-best side in Ruland. Name the best side in Ruland wearing green. You still won't have named Kosta, and yet Egere hauled them to glory. Petrell found a remarkably tuneful way to win not only the ChC, but the league, with a haul of 22.5 points from 30 games. ... Wait. Well, anyway, Grey Holden's first season in Nephara lead to plaudits, returning the old club to relevance at long last. Kryznjak and Bittencourt, meanwhile, both secured trebles; Treason were less heralded, at a lower ebb, but Directus, after all, secured the grand prize.

THE YOUNG GALACTICO
Shortlist
1. Cristian Benitez - VLD - Nacional (VLD) - U21
2. Goran Stroud - AUD - 1830 Cathair (AUD)
3. Tôsgo Alxíkí - FFD - Lâ Lüs (FFD)
4. Lothas Ludwig - VAL - FC Felsenkirchen 1879 (STL)
5. Inteali Koranjo - VIL - Cazadores Cathair (AUD)

In Alxíkí and Koranjo, the past two winners return, alongside 1830's precocious starting 'keeper and the all-conquering Benitez from Valladares. But these four did not only tread water in a strong class of young guns, they thrived. But the wild card, Ludwig... didn't make the list at all. What he did was dominate his age group, sweeping all opposition aside en route to a surprise Rising Stars win. But he didn't actually make the list. You're meant to make the longlist if you're--

THE GALACTICO
One last round of drinks. One final strobe-show. By this stage, Zaza's throat has given out; rather than take the shame of retreating backstage, Gahalatine has nobly shouldered the burden of reading out the entire script on her own, on a couple of occasions engaging in witty bandinage with herself. Nobody is here for this.

The sky explodes in a shower of chartreuse as the celebratory sprinklers fire out - yes - more bloody First Wind. It is very much time to go home, and be peeled out of suits by underlings around the witching hour. Nobody expected this, nobody approved, and it is in such on-brand fashion that Galacticos season - and the offseason - draws to a close. It has, as always, been a pleasure. Thank you, and see you again next season!

by **Nephara** » Mon Feb 01, 2021 4:17 am

The event is black and green.
Not the black and green of Nephara, though First Wind is a Nepharan company, a proud marque going back decades of selling highly toxic, borderline-illegal energy drinks, nominally to actual athletes but in practice to exhausted university students and overweight children. This is the empty charcoal black that is more a dark grey, a black more empty than truly sleek, and the gleaming chartreuse green synonymous with poison and decay. The tables and suits are black. The lights and drinks are green.
Nobody present is entirely certain they'll live to see tomorrow.
The black stage is bathed in green floodlights. Three women approach.
The foremost, and smallest, is Zaza of Zaza and Gahalatine. She looks keyed-up, stressed-out and on the brink. There is nothing sincere or relaxed in her smile.
The second, and curviest, is Gahalatine of Zaza and Gahalatine. She looks by a distance the more relaxed. Vacant, one might say. She lightly gives off the impression of a pig stunned before slaughter to provide the best meat.
Nobody knows who the third and tallest is, until midway through the first attempts at badinage. Zaza and Gahalatine do have some kind of forced, rictus chemistry, greased by a healthy degree of plainly not liking each other much. But they can unite, tonight, on not liking the third, who keeps awkwardly trying to interject and laughing nervously.
The third turns out to be Bellastasia Devine. People look her up. She's a failed model, and the daughter of the President of First Wind.
Ah.

Eventually, they get to it.
Before any talk of the true Galacticos, the Galacticos Longlist must be dealt with. Those worthy of being breathed in the same sentences as the Galacticos, and a slightly dubious attempt to define the Best 130 Players in the World based on club and nation performance over the past year - IFCF 4, the domestic seasons submitted for IFCF 5, the four regional tournaments and qualifying for the World Cup. If you don't think this sounds like a year, try thinking about it less, perhaps after a hearty sup of the sticky, oddly tingling green liquid in your champagne flute. All is well. All is well.

Goalkeepers [13]
Gentza Bedigax - ASG - FC Felsenkirchen 1879 (STL)
Gentle Breeze - EQS - AC Izotz Zubia (AUD)
Paige Daunten - ZWZ - La Nueva Avenida (FFD)
Ewald Heuser - STL - Brinemouth (NPH)
Cosmo Leopoldi - STB - Colonial Sile (VIL)
Iiro Pakanen - SVJ - Jinja City FC (BNJ)
Tomáš Přibyl - PAS - Royal Jam FC (EFL)
Aranea Provost - NPH - Holdenberg (EUR)
George Ross - DEL - Algolia (SRS)
Goran Stroud - AUD - 1830 Cathair (AUD)
Matthew Tyler - SCV - Bastion (EUR)
Onish Vadaparthy - STB - Southern Star (BRE)
Scathach Wright - BRE - Raynor City United (VAL)

Rightbacks [7]
Edialor Aiamara - KOR - Laketown Rangers (TAE)
Amakli Inuro'o - TUR - Bastion (EUR)
Nirlo-Betva Uzo - QUS - Megabrantid SC (SRS)
Rovena Stride - NPH - AFC Treason (NPH)
Curtis Tremblay - DAR - Bayern Phoenix (TAE)
Darijen Vesele - STL - Rene Skae (FFD)
Alma Watts - EUR - Soldarian FC (VAL)

Centrebacks [20]
Mojmir Anac - MYT - Olympic Thessia (MYT)
Cierra Anderson - CMT - Vermillion Rage (NPH)
Kuma Bultum - BNJ - Raynor City United (VAL)
Elliott Collins - ETN - South Saints (ETN)
Mateo Elliott - GRU - Letson Town (ETN)
Matheo Dybvik - VAL - Rozelle (BRE)
Cheney Heneghan - BRE - Northern Stallions (BRE)
Karl-Heinz Jager - STL - Raynor City United (VAL)
Demba Kinte - BNJ - Dí Maozöxê (FFD)
Inteali Koranjo - VIL - Cazadores Cathair (AUD)
Niels Kronthaler - STL - AS Bezieres (VLD)
Kahala Murje - SAJ - AFC Treason (NPH)
Hatu Raglan - SAJ - Canalave Dragons (VLD)
Sydney Stefred - ZWZ - Arlington City (ZWZ)
Laborc Szöllössy - PAS - Spartangrad (EUR)
Roxelana Thorn - NPH - Revolutionaries (EUR)
Rojara Tiones - VIL - Yeaddin Owls (VIL)
Nicolas Umkala - TJU - Ratzupalfu Rhinos (SNL)
Çìríkò Ûsêtêrnìx - FFD - FC Felsenkirchen 1879 (STL)
Alan Wiseman - CBP - Urrheddiao (CMT)

Leftbacks [7]
Valence Ilya - CMT - Northern Union (BRE)
Cristiano Karaji - SAJ - Marinos Metropolis (VLD)
Radeka Lind - NPH - Vermillion Rage (NPH) - U21
Tamrie Munnarring - KOR - Stein-los Turkish (PAS)
Vivica Muscadin - NPH - Sabrefell Moths (NPH)
Baldomeiro Teijeiro - FFD - Aries Chariots (NPH)
Tryfon Vlahilades - VDR - 1830 Cathair (AUD)

Right Midfield [12]
Thomas Butler - AUD - AC Izotz Zubia (AUD)
Lauren Cheney - BRE - Spartangrad (EUR)
Ihazintu Malkorra - ASG - Aries Chariots (NPH)
Traudl Mrdja - NPH - Vermillion Rage (NPH)
Madu Okparra - BNJ - Raynor City United (VAL)
Mikhail Jashkin - SVJ - Directus (EUR)
Aleksandr Lukonov - STL - Latrobe AFC (KSK)
Janna Sauthier - NPH - CASK Thorborg (SVJ)
Erwin Spijkers - AUD - Crisisbless (NPH) - U21
Lukas Tauscher - STL - Brinemouth (NPH)
Penumbra Till - NPH - Southern Star (BRE)
Miriam Troegner - VAL - Gallant Cross (BRE) - U21

Central Midfield [32]
Calindra Apelles - STB - Northern Union (BRE)
Denis Arkanin - SVJ - Libertas Bergheim (SVJ)
Arley Barrios - VLD - Myana (CMT)
Cristian Benitez - VLD - Nacional (VLD) - U21
Viola Capodanno - STB - Northern Union (BRE)
Bryan Castillo - VLD - Hondo FC (VAL)
Cyper Corr - BNJ - Northern Stallions (BRE)
Lothaire Cromwell - NPH - AC Izotz Zubia (AUD)
Exene Fletcher - NPH - Hellinic-Rouge (PAS)
Laborious Hawk - VAL - Bastion (EUR)
Limu Katarakhna - VIL - Eastal Lunar (VIL)
Thorsten Kramer - STL - 1830 Cathair (AUD)
Maximilien Longchambon - KOR - Revolutionaries (EUR)
Jewel Maddison - STB - X Island Marauders (TAE)
Victoria Maersk - SVJ - Vermillion Rage (NPH)
Henrik Martin - STL - Dí Maozöxê (FFD) - U21
Chimera Moxham - NPH - Spartangrad (EUR)
Amalie Nergård - VAL - Anomalies (CMT)
Msukisi Nzo - BNJ - Crisisbless (NPH)
Christian O'Brien - VLD - Tanrisal (VLD)
Morten Poulsen - SVJ - Partisan Sjoedrhavn (SVJ)
Farago rue Cazade - FFD - Brinemouth (NPH)
Vincent Robshaw - EUR - AFC Treason (NPH)
Monica Rowland - EUR - Bastion (EUR)
Tawny Shone - NPH - Brinemouth (NPH)
Iuri Takala - SRS - Megabrantid SC (SRS)
Finn Townsend - BRE - CdF Celtade (AUD)
Ixtub Tün - TEQ - Olympia Borograd (STL) - U21
Joshua Twoni - ZWZ - Arlington City (ZWZ)
Kiera Weiram - MRN - Oceanic (KSK)
Moira Woakes - EUR - Crisisbless (NPH)
Meghan Wolcott - CAS - Herzegovina City FC (BNJ)

Left Midfield [13]
Damion Bowman - EUR - Crisisbless (NPH)
Pellegrin Csapo - PAS - Marque (BRE)
Nicole D'Amico - CBP - Damogran FC (SRS)
Alexis Durmisi - VLD - Urbizania Wanderers (ASG)
Emiliano Gallegas - FFD - Energija Chernovets (STL)
Chantal Kalevi - NPH - Tihon (CMT)
Calum Kirkpatrick - AUD - CF Outineau (AUD)
Xaime Medal - TEQ - 1830 Cathair (AUD)
Sophie Munshi - ZWZ - Mierton Manatees (TAE)
Colm O'Tuathail - KSK - Shamrock Cathair (AUD)
Rowena Strongbow - NPH - Directus (EUR)
Krister Voynov - SVJ - Raynor City United (VAL)
Morea Zozetua - MRN - KT Moreazerua (AUD)

Strikers [25]
Kurtis Bastable - NPH - Ulsa (EUR)
Latona Basilisk - NPH - Mâ Âlâmëómë (FFD)
Wilfried Baume - VLD - AC Izotz Zubia (AUD)
Thibault Benezet - VLD - Sabrefell Athletic (NPH)
Brayan Borja - VLD - Raynor City United (VAL)
Cilistro Bugarin - KOR - Felswyr (CMT)
Edmün Çídh - FFD - Herzegovina City (BNJ)
Denis Dezelac - STL - Olympia Borograd (STL)
Sigrid Eisenhauer - NPH - Algolia AC (SRS)
Sven Ehlers - SVJ - Partisan Sjoedrhavn (SVJ)
Xixi Êns - FFD - Dí Maozöxê (FFD)
Kaalia Gerstlauer - SRS - Blacklake Blues (TAE)
Stanimir Ilev - STL - CA Paulinthal (PAS)
Danielle Jackson - CBR - Brinemouth (NPH)
Ilman Jawara - BNJ - Soldarian FC (VAL)
Seung-Yoon Kim - QUE - RGS Athletic (EFL)
Kajsa Kupper - SCT - Tropicorp FC (TUR)
Lothas Ludwig - VAL - FC Felsenkirchen 1879 (STL) - U21
Konrad Lovelace - NPH - Revolutionaries (EUR)
Loic Macon-Petrault - KSK - Unioneers (EUR)
Sutter McCloud - STB - Yeaddin Owls (VIL)
Lyzolda Petrov - SRS - Sabrefell Moths (NPH)
Michael Ribbeck - STL - Kingsgrove (BRE)
Pierre Vasseur - KSK - Burnaby SC (KSK)
Bernard Zeman - NPH - Walstreim Lions (SNL)
Tesco Zuniga - AUD - Pitxi-Pitxi 77 (TEQ)

by **Nephara** » Tue Feb 02, 2021 4:56 am

It is time to announce the Cycle 78 Galacticos.

It is a long and winding road. Zaza of Zaza and Gahalatine's water bottle, it is apparent, contains gin. Gahalatine of Zaza and Gahalatine's started to mock the president's daughter, Bellastasia, in what started out as innocent teasing and has become increasingly clear is firm, genuine dislike. They fit their one musical interlude into the proceedings. It is, it turns out, a 28-minute epic of a power ballad, entitled (ironically?) Life Cycle of the Mayfly.

They get through about a third of it before the producer cuts the lights and brings down the board.

Scathach Wright - BRE - Raynor City United (VAL)
Cosmo Leopoldi - STB - Colonial Sile (VIL)
Ewald Heuser - STL - Brinemouth (NPH)

Wright's form for club and country has been beyond reproach, including marshalling the equal-strongest defence of any club in qualifying. A streaky player in her youth who has blossomed into her potential.

Amakli Inuro'o - TUR - Bastion (EUR)
Nirlo-Betva Uzo - QUS - Megabrantid SC (SRS)

Inuro'o was a key pillar of the strongest defence in Eura, and has already managed over 90 caps and 12 goals by their mid-20s.

Kuma Bultum - BNJ - Raynor City United (VAL)
Cierra Anderson - CMT - Vermillion Rage (NPH)
Alan Wiseman - CBP - Urrheddiao (CMT)
Sydney Stefred - ZWZ - Arlington City (ZWZ)

Bultum is one of the best defenders of the generation, as much of a bulwark now as ever. Anderson enjoyed the season of her career, stiffening the spine of a traditionally porous Vermillion to drag them to the top four.

Tryfon Vlahilades - VDR - 1830 Cathair (AUD)
Tamrie Munnarring - KOR - Stein-los Turkish (PAS)

Captain of the meteorically-rising Vdara national team, Vlahilades is a flawless defender and resolute commander of the back line, who has plenty to offer going forward as well.

Mikhail Jashkin - SVJ - Directus (EUR)
Lauren Cheney - BRE - Spartangrad (EUR)

A key part of Directus' Champions League defence, Jashkin was also one of their shining lights in a relatively indifferent league season by their sky-high standards.

Finn Townsend - BRE - CdF Celtade (AUD)
Laborious Hawk - VAL - Bastion (EUR)
Lothaire Cromwell - NPH - AC Izotz Zubia (AUD)
Farago rue Cazade - FFD - Brinemouth (NPH)

Townsend raised eyebrows when he accepted a move to unglamorous Celtade, but dragged the obscure side to safety through a titanic feat of individual will. It was a good and crowded year for playmakers, with rue Cazade the Premiership's player of the year... but that wasn't enough to dethrone Hawk, whose magnificent season for Bastion reminded everyone he hasn't missed a step.

Emiliano Gallegas - FFD - Energija Chernovets (STL)
Krister Voynov - SVJ - Raynor City United (VAL)

A regular Farfish international in his prime is one of the talents bringing the Republikaliga to prominence as one of the world's important leagues, and a leading light bringing Energija to the title.

Lyzolda Petrov - SRS - Sabrefell Moths (NPH)
Konrad Lovelace - NPH - Revolutionaries (EUR)
Stanimir Ilev - STL - CA Paulinthal (PAS)
Xixi Êns - FFD - Dí Maozöxê (FFD)

The top scorers in Nephara and Eura - hardly the most imaginative of selections. But Petrov deserves special acclaim, bursting into life in her first season playing for a truly big side, while Lovelace might finally have broken out of the shadow of Kurtis Bastable, hitherto always that little bit better.

by **Nephara** » Sat Mar 13, 2021 2:07 am

One final hour of ceremony, into which is packed the part everyone's paying attention for. It may seem like days or even weeks have passed, but believe me, that's just the agony of trying to listen to Bellastasia Devine try and keep up with the actual banter of Zaza and Gahalatine, who each despise her.

First up...

GALACTICOS MANAGER
Shortlist
1. Dragan Kryznjak - AUD - Directus (EUR)
2. Tlanx-Nulzk Hal - QUS - Savigliane national team
3. Grey Holden - SCT - Aries Chariots (NPH)
4. Grigor Skeens - SRS - Megabrantid SC (SRS)
5. Cralt-Nirlo Fox - QUS - Vermillion Rage (NPH)

THE YOUNG GALACTICO
Shortlist
1. Erwin Spijkers - AUD - Crisisbless (NPH)
2. Thomas Butler - NWK - AC Izotz Zubia (AUD)
3. Radeka Lind - NPH - Vermillion Rage (NPH)
4. Lothas Ludwig - VAL - FC Felsenkirchen 1879 (STL)
5. Ixtub Tün - TEQ - Olympia Borograd (STL)

THE GALACTICO

The reserves of First Wind have been drunk. Those brave enough to drink every flute pressed into their hand are starting to see new, more vivid colours than they can comprehend and it's something of a marvel nobody's head's yet exploded. The relentless, crushing wheel of football has taken another rotation, another wave of fresh nations greyed out and swept into obscurity in the mists of time, another wave of dreams destroyed in the 17- and 18-year olds told they have no future with their hometown club, another year of agents padding their pockets with fat fees. The world lives and dies on the kick of a ball, and whether it's the Champions Cup final or twenty-two fat guys in a park somewhere, it is our game, and our deeds must be witnessed and recorded. Thank you, and see you again next season!

First Wind (née Boldsport) Galacticos History

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