Independents Cup 7 [IC]

[Juvencus]

Juvencus 1-0 Indusse

Silvestri's solo effort saves Gli attaccanti from yet another Independents Cup Humliation

Gli attaccanti celebrating their first Independents Cup victory after 2 winless competitions

The opening match of the 7th version of the Independents Cup could only be described as a 'would-be' another humiliating disaster. If it weren't for Silvestri's dying minutes heroics to save the day, the team would've experienced yet another humiliating result in the intra-regional regional cup, this time against Indusse.

The team wasn't the usual dominant squad we are used to seeing and it was very obvious from the first half of the game, as Indusse's proved to be a tough challenge to even take the ball from, let alone stop their path. A brilliant possessive play from early on was enough to frustrate the Gli attaccanti and also enough to provide enough space to pummel the Juven side with one chance after another. A brilliant David Beckam shot from the 27-yard mark was only stopped by the post, while an excellent, yet confusing passing game by Mahauli and Rajpoot were enough to give the latter enough space for a rocket shot which was brilliantly saved by Bulgari. The engines only started to work after the 30th minute for the Gli attaccanti when a speedy Tore Christian put a hole through the Indussiate defence, seeing himself on a one-on-one situation with the Indussiate keeper, yet his effort was saved by Luiz. During the last minutes of the first half, a Silvestri goal was not counted as an offside, a hotly debatable one as it wasn't obvious whether Silvestri was behind the opposing defenders or not.

The second half was a very calm one, with neither team being able to push through. It seemed as if the Indussiates didn't play to win, but to keep a draw against Juvencus, since they were always throwing the ball wide in every chance they got. In the middle of the second half, a hard tackle from Rajesh Krishna forced Nino Russo off the game. However, he was only yellow carded in what was another really controversial decision. Young talent, Santo Silvestri took it upon himself from there. He started solo-barraging the Indussiate side with opportunities from both close and long range. His first chance, a shot from 31 meters outside the box went wide. A bit afterwards, in the 79th minute, he managed to dribble past Rajesh Krishna but wasn't able to capitalise on the opportunity given to him. In the dying minutes of the game, while in an attempt to dribble past Bikash Kumar, Etxeberria had his shirt pulled, thus resulting in a foul from a very compromising angle. Instead of having Martell to kick it, like usually, Silvestri offered to kick it himself, which resulted in the only goal scored in the game, an exceptional, curvy shot with his weak foot which statued Stephen Luiz and provided the Gli attaccanti with their first victory in 2 Independents Cup tournaments, with more expected to come.

Juvencus XI:
GK:Taddeo Bulgari
CB:Dudu Madeiros
CB:Nicolò Bassi
CB:Izotz Ibarra
CDM:Nino Russo(Subbed off for Mattin Zabala, 63')
CDM:Clovis Bret
RM:Ekain Zuñiga
LM:Tore Christian
LF:Joaquim Martell
RF:Patxi Etxeberria
CF:Santo Silvestri(Goal, 87')

Indusse XI:
GK:Stephen Luiz
CB:Ahmad Ali K.K
CB:Rajesh Krishna(Yellow card, 62')
RB:Matheww John
LB:Bikash Kumar(Yellow card, 86')
CM:Kishan Singh Mahauli
CM:Aaryan Yadav
CAM:Akshay Rajpoot
CF:Baskar Kumar
CF:Bechun Butea
CF:David Beckam

[ThePenguinLand]

PenguinLand suffer 1-nil defeat to New Lusitania

PenguinLand 0-1 New Lusitania

'60-Diego Leitoro

Lineups(With Match ratings)

GK Rui Patríce
LB Rafa Guerreiros
CB Diogo Leiteiro
RB João Cancela
CDM Rúben Nevais
LM Jorge Mária
CM Bruno Fernando (C)
RM Francisco Gama
CAM Bernardo Veiga
ST André Silveira
ST Daniel Jota

GK-Bogodin Stankovich(7.0)
RB-Eden Fore(6.8]
CB-Shidlern Prokazy(7.1)
CB-Rosamin Hidercky(6.4)
LB-Slozmow Jedercik(6.3)
CM- Nowac Strezelny(6.5)
CM- Mattias Gonzalaherna(7.5)
CM-Mattinas Gonzalodin(6.8]
RW-Mattias Fernandes(6.8]
ST-Martinas Edmunsonowivic(6.8]
LW-Leopold Dinawsci(7.2)

Key:
Subbed
Yellow Card
Goal
Subs: Hidercky-Crossic[7.0](63'min), Strezelny-Mattic[6.3](70'min),Edmunsonowivic-Skillanowic[6.8](75'min).

A missed Dinawsci penatly and two freekick blunders

That was essientially the tone of the match, a mixure of good defending from New Lusitania and utter incompetency from our strikers prevented from putting the ball in the net. At, times it was painfully to watch. Below we go through the highlights.

---

45'min: A beatiful cross from Dinawsci puts Edmunsonowivic through on goal! He quickly looks to shoot, yet Patrice gets there in time to collect the scuffed shot. That was the only real chance the PenguinLand have had this half and they still lack danger.

45+2'min: Dinawsci now has a freekick. He takes it short and it rebounds off the post for an unsatisfying clunk. Well, the PenguinLand have looked very tame this half.

---

55'min: A dangerous looking pass across goal sets up Silveira for an easy shot. That one's safely caught by Stankovich, yet New Lusitania are looking potentially more dangerous. Our defense needs to wake up here, if we're to get through.

58'min: It's another chance for New Lusitania! This time Jorge Maria plays it through to Daniel Jorta who skims it off the bar, before taking a deflection of Hidercky. It's out for a corner and New Lusitania have another chance.

60'min: 0-1 It's in! Bernardo Veiga's corner connects with Diego Leitoro who sends it above Hidercky and past Stankovich with a pwerful header. Wonderful play from the center back to get the height and speed in time to send it in. Now, the PenguinLand are in trouble.

62'min: The PenguinLand have got a Penalty! Ruben Nevais brings down Edmunsonowivic in the penalty box and recieves a yellow card. The PenguinLand could equalise within 2 minutes of New Lusitania scoring. It's up to Dinawsci ,uncustomarily, to take the penalty.
He misses! A short run up and switch to his left foot lead the ball straight to the keeper's safe hands.

87'min: Dinawsci has yet another freekick! This time it connects with the opposite post after nearly bouncing in. It had power yet lacked accuracy.

[Abanhfleft]

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

The Football Fallacies
with Graham O'Doherty

FOR ONCE, JUST THIS ONCE, CAN WE PLEASE WIN A GAME?

Title says it all, really. I think I speak for the vast majority of the rest of Abanhfleft when I say to the Samahang Futbol ng Abanhfleft that we are all sick and tired of seeing our national teams get beaten time and time again in international tournaments, and sometimes by teams that our teams should actually be beating! Latest example being our opening game in the 7th Independents Cup. No offense to anyone from Sajnur reading this, but you're just not supposed to beat us. You're not. But you did. And now everyone in our country is now in uproar. See the chaos and damage that you've caused us?

But seriously now though. I really believe that the problem lies deeper, much deeper than just other teams suddenly becoming prime Starblaydia or Audioslavia or Nephara or whichever team you think is the greatest of all time whenever they get to face us. The players we've got turning out for our national teams are the first generation of players to have been well and truly exposed to the multiverse, as in they played in multiversal competitions from about the under-15 and under-18 level and have been consequently promoted up the ranks to the senior teams. And you what's been happening to these players for all of those years they've been playing in the youth ranks? Losing, that's what. Remember that time when we went to three straight finals in the Under-18 World Cup and lost all three of them? Remember all those times that we kept getting knocked out in the round of 16 or the quarterfinals in the Di Bradini Cup? Well, those same players who have experienced all of these failures time and time again are now the ones representing us in the senior level. And they're doing the only thing they've always known as they rose up the ranks, and that is losing.

Sad, isn't it? Now I know that I'm normally not this blithering and blabbering mad about this but that loss to Sajnur just brought back all of this internalized rage I've been bottling up for years now. This is why we can't have nice things. All these boys and girls have ever known growing up is losing, and now that's all they're ever going to do unless something very big and drastic changes. And I don't know what that is. We've tried changing managers. That worked, for a little bit. But now we're back in that hole of failure and mediocrity. We tried changing tactics. That didn't work at all, as evidenced by our defeat against Sajnur (and in the Under-18 World Cup once again of all places).

So how do we stop this downward decline? Well, guys, don't look at me, because I am now all out of options. Losing sucks. I am pretty sure we are all in agreement about that, having experienced that all too many times in our brief and miserable lives. So I guess the best that I can do now is to give a pep talk that my target recipients are not very likely to hear about or even know anyway, but here goes. Girls, please, for the love of God, win a game next time. And that also goes for you, boys, because I know that you've got World Cup qualifiers coming up very, very soon-ish.

Bottom line is that I'm tired of losing is all. And I'm sure that you all are too. But the change has to start from within. I don't even know where I'm supposed to go with this; all this has really brought me down. I just want to sit back, relax, play a game of the latest galaxy-conquering game, and wait for the next heartbreak. Because that's just what's going to happen anyway, no matter what I keep telling myself. XOXO from Graham....

[Kavagrad]

Kavagrad National Team

Background

The Kavagrad Association Football Organisation (KAFO) was formed in 1998 to govern football in Kavagrad after the unification of Kavagrad's 6 Republican teams, which had existed since the formation of the SPRK in 1960. Following the creation of the National Team, Kavagrad would refuse to compete in formal international tournaments out of spite, having been refused a place in said tournaments for the previous 38 years. This led to a slump in Kavagrad football, as the national side would only play close neighbours, and with no competitive element, fans simply didn't care about international football, with the consequence that the results of many friendlies weren't even recorded by Kavagrad media outlets, and so have been lost to history. Despite this, the government continued to pump funding into Kavagrad's football teams, to the point where domestic football thrived in spite of disinterest in the national side.

The appointment of former Kavagrad international Alex-Louis Valentine to the post of Kavagrad manager in 2015 sparked a movement among fans to finally end the national side's self-imposed isolation from international competition. Valentine had, as a player, made strong calls for the team to become competitive, but publicly remained silent whilst manager until May 2018, when KAFO announced that Kavagrad was open to entering international competition, and revealed that Valentine had been pushing heavily for the decision since his arrival. Since the move to international football, Valentine has been replaced with Ian Wissa, formerly of Grod Island, following poor performances in the first season of the ILFA Premier Division.

Kavagrad have previous experience in the IAC. First entering the IAC-5, the Redhearts failed to make it out of the Group Stages. However, the IAC-6 saw a team reinvigorated by the addition of playmaker Moses Maxwell Diaby make it all the way to the Semi-Finals, and finishing 4th. The Redhearts have also had two (failed) runs in the World Cup Qualifiers, and are a mid-table side in the ILFA Premier Division.

Formation - 4-2-3-1 [+3 Style Modifier]

Country Code/Trigramme: KVG

Kit

Starting Lineup

GK - Edouard Calvin [1] - One of the most renowned goalkeepers to ever grace domestic Kavagrader football, the 37-year old Calvin doesn't seem to have lost a step despite the slow decline of other goalkeepers of his generation. Distinguishing himself both on and off the pitch with his combination of fingertip saves, penalty-saving prowess and near-emotionless demeanour with the media (even in the most emotional of moments), Calvin has been dubbed "The Heartless Redheart" and is rare among national players in that he stresses the individual nature of football, insisting that results are a combination of individual performances, rather than a team effort. It has been speculated that this attitude is the reason that Calvin has never been given a chance to be the national side's captain. Most recently, it was reported that Calvin verbally abused other members of the team after a series of poor results in the ILFA Premier Division.

LB- Oscar Maguire [2] - The 26-year old defensive left-back Oscar Maguire has been considered a surprising pick for the national side. Playing for 6th-Placed First Division side Bostror Borders AFC, Maguire has been consistently picked by manager Alex-Louis Valentine for the national side since early 2016, despite his less-than-stellar league performances. Strangely enough, the decision has payed off, as Maguire has played notably better for Kavagrad than he does for his club. However, rumours were abound that Maguire will be released from his club contract at the end of the summer, making it imperative that he impress in order to avoid falling into the Second Division Draft, which would likely have put an end to his national career. Fortunately, his contract was in fact renewed, and he has appeared to have found a new lease of life, putting in solid performances for both club and country.

CB - Axel Anderson (C) [4] - As the Redhearts' long-term captain, having held the role since 2013, the 31-year old Anderson towers over opposing strikers, as he stands at 6'8" tall. One of the best headers of the ball in the game, Anderson is a constant threat from corners, having scored 12 goals from his 102 international caps, despite not entering the opponents' halves outside of set pieces.

CB - Raymond Alexander [5] - Seen as the attack dog of the Redheart defence, the 21-year old Raymond Alexander has only recently been promoted from the Kavagrad Under 21s side, and is well-known for his last-gasp tackles and sudden closing in on opposing attackers ahead of the defensive line, designed to elicit mistakes from the opponent on the ball. Very much seen as the opposite of Anderson's calmer style of play, Alexander's play has drawn multiple yellow cards in international games.

RB - Eric Valenti [3] - Much like Raymond Alexander, the young 22-year old Valenti is fiery and aggressive, but without the talent for tackling precision, resulting in far more discipline against him. Valenti will therefore do most of his defending outside of the penalty area. Valenti is a challenge for any winger due to his pure pace, which also helps him provide aid to attacks, often arriving late to provide an option on the right for bogged-down playmakers just outside the box.

CM - Aaron Wordsmith (VC) [8] - The backbone to any built-up Kavagrad attack, the 28-year old Kava-Nida native went underappreciated in the early years of his career, never making it past the lower regional leagues until 2014, when he was moneyballed into the First Division Draft from the Nida South Division (in the 6th tier of Kavagrad domestic football) by a data analyst at league champion side Spartak KVG. Despite not being drafted by Spartak, Wordsmith was picked up late in the draft by newly-promoted Rivers Athletic, proved his worth quickly, and carried the club to an unprecedented 2nd place finish, coming within 2 points of dethroning the Spartak behemoth, in the 2014/15 season. At a national level, Wordsmith debuted in 2015, and has since become vice-captain. He is a renowned set-piece specialist, and will happily pick up long shots outside the box when a stray ball falls his way.

CM - Kyle Keelie [14] - A second-generation player, son of the legendary Roddy Keelie (now manager of the Kavagrad U21s), Kyle debuted for Kavagrad at just 19 years old and is now a tenacious defensive playmaker, and an international mainstay at 24 years of age. Pretty much booked a spot in the Spartak KVG Academy since the day he was born, along with his brother Miles, Keelie brings a rough edge to a club that prides itself on clean, crisp football. On the international stage, Keelie has been impressive, and has already racked up 77 caps, despite his young age. If he stays healthy, he may one day take the caps record and become one of Kavagrad's legends, exceeding perhaps even his own father.

AML -Benjamin Mumuni [44] - An extremely recent addition to the first team, having only debuted on the international stage this summer, Mumuni is the youngest player to ever debut for Kavagrad at just 17 years old. Mumuni was, like some of his other teammates, brought up through the Spartak KVG Academy, but showed exceptional talent as a winger, and so skipped much of the youth system to debut for the first team in October 2017. Mumuni soon created an excellent partnership with striker Louis-Henri Bonne, and ended up with 16 assists from 28 games by the end of his rookie season. During the summer of 2018, he was placed on the bench by Valentine. However, when winger Marrash declined in early July, Mumuni was put on in his place, and earned his starting place in the team quickly with a further 11 assists in his 15 starts for his country, 10 of which led to Bonne goals.

AMC - Moses Maxwell Diaby [21] - A controversial pick from new manager Ian Wissa, Diaby comes into the team as a result of a grandmother born in the outer reaches of the Bostror region before the foundation of the SPRK. Kavagrad's first black player, Diaby never managed to gain an international cap in his home country, and so defected to Kavagrad in January 2019, with the promise of first-team international football. An prodigal playmaker, Diaby is expected to be the spearhead of Kavagrad's new-look attack.

AMR - Kenneth Gordon-Cameron [22] - In any other year, Kenneth Gordon-Cameron would be considered the best player that Kavagrad has. As it is, the development of the Mumuni-Bonne partnership, and the resulting tendency of the long balls to the wing flying disproportionately to the left, has left Gordon-Cameron neglected. The 29-year old has previously expressed fear for a new generation of players that would overtake him and leave him obsolete, and some now argue that Mumuni is doing just that. While Gordon-Cameron, once lauded for the touchline runs that Mumuni performs with ease, has shown no public discontent towards the situation, some have begun to suggest that his career is coming to a slow end.

CF - Louis-Henri Bonne [9] - 23-year old goal machine Louis-Henri Bonne undoubtedly owes his career to former national manager, Alex-Louis Valentine. Bonne was only 18 when his team, Torpedo Daniilsk, was relegated to the Second Division, and the resulting exodus of first-team players led the club to a reliance on near-retirement veterans, and hastily-promoted youth players such as Bonne. Valentine took the post of manager after the previous was booted for his failure to keep the club afloat, and quickly made Bonne the focus of his attack. Bonne delivered, pushing Daniilsk straight back up the First Division with 38 goals in 35 games. After a strong season that saw a leaky defence cost the team a spot in the KAFO Super Cup, Bonne was picked up by Spartak KVG, as Valentine moved on to manage the international side. Bonne is now recognised as the best striker in Kavagrad today.

Substitutes

GK - Ted Mitchell [90] - The 29-year old Ted Mitchell is seen by many as the pinnacle of the new generation of goalkeepers, but has had his spot as Kavagrad's Number 1 withheld while Edouard Calvin carries on in his role seemingly indefinitely. Mitchell, while earning multiple starts for the national side, has never truly broken into the international side, and unless Calvin retires within the next couple of years, the Redhearts will miss out on the best years of Mitchell's career.

LB/RB - Miles Keelie [15] - The older brother of first team midfielder Kyle, the 26-year old Miles Keelie has not had his brother's fortune in football. Suffering a severe knee injury at just 19 years old, Miles didn't play a competitive game of football for 2 years, ruining his development and resulting in Spartak KVG refusing to renew his contract, releasing him around 9 months into his injury. Miles would return in the 2014/15 season, joining Rivers Athletic alongside Wordsmith, Despite not having the full development of most players behind him, Keelie has earned a place on the bench through his ability to adapt to both wing-back positions, although he will almost definitely never live up to his original potential, and will likely spend his career in the shadow of his father and brother.

CB - James Smith-Brown [6] - A solid centre-back of many years, the 32-year old James Smith-Brown is now arguably past his prime, and in the declining years of his career. Still an impressive header of the ball and solid in the tackle, he lacks the pace of his first-team counterparts, but remains a useful backup option at the back for the Redhearts.

CM - David Ochieng [12] - A native of the Bostror Borders, the 19-year old Ochieng has recently graduated from the Bostror Borders AFC Academy, impressing Valentine with his league performance in his rookie season. However, Ochieng was very much lucky to make Kavagrad's 18-man squad, after Valentine's usual backup midfielder, Salih Ahmad, went down with a serious ankle injury in early May, putting him on the shelf for the summer. If Ochieng can prove his worth from the bench, he may yet find himself appearing more often at Ahmad's expense.

AML - Mohammad Ibrahim Marrash [10] - Marrash, a 28-year old left-winger from Kava-Bostror, found himself dropped from the first team to the bench about halfway through the summer campaign as a result of his poor performances in early July, to be replaced by Benjamin Mumuni. As a result, the first team has lost their only culturally Proto-Bostrorian player (while Mumuni is ethnically Proto-Bostrorian, he comes from a culturally Kava-Bostrorian upbringing). Marrash fully intends to fight his way back into the first team, but with the quality of Mumuni's performances as of late, he may have to wait a while for that chance.

AMC - Maurice Morris [32] - A 28-year old attacking midfielder, Morris has gained somewhat of a cult following amongst fans of Tyreux Orange, not least for his name, but also for his goalscoring ability from the midfield and from free-kicks. A victim of Valentine's tactical changes in 2015, Morris lost his place in the squad due to his lack of defensive ability, but he has been re-introduced this year by new manager Ian Wissa, who is seeking more attacking options.

AMR - Elijah Preston [25] - Preston may have a spot in the first team today were it not for his history of injuries. The 24-year old sprinter-turned-footballer, has a history of niggling ankle and hamstring injuries that have denied him a spot in Kavagrad's first team on any regular basis. He still provides an option on the right flank, and his pure pace and technical flair make him almost impossible to deal with when he's healthy.

CF - Jacob Hendriks [45] - An regular in Roddy Keelie's Under 21s side, Hendriks was called up temporarily to the main national side after the disgrace of Shane Dalton resulted in a need for another backup striker. Hendriks has yet to debut from the bench, but he is expected to come on at some point over the summer. The question at that point will be whether or not he can impress Valentine and become a permanent fixture in the side. Hendriks will be alternating on the sub's bench with attacking midfielder Maurice Morris.

RP Permissions

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Yes
Choose scoring events: Yes
Godmod scoring events: No
RP injuries to my players: No
Godmod injuries to my players: No
Hand out yellow cards to my players: Yes
Hand out red cards to my players: No
Godmod other events: No

[New Lusitania and the Algarves]

STL|Serviços de Transmissão Lusitana
Sport | Football|
IA7

MILKING THE GOAL
PenguinLand 0-1 New Lusitania
@ Red Knight Field, Raikennax (Att: 107 000)

New Lusitania arrived in the IA against The PenguinLand. The weirdly named state had already featured in the World Cup Qualifiers, although not much is known about them. The team weren't taking many chances though, Patríce would start in goal however with the new back three Guerreiros-Leiteiro-Cancela being placed in use. Nevais in defensive midfield, with Fernando in Midfield and Veiga in a more attacking position. Mário and Gama in the flanks and Silveira and Jota up front.
An uneventful first half led to a scoreless halftime result. The only good chance of the first period came from Edmunsonowivic, saved by Patríce, and later on, Dinawsci hitting the woodwork. After some pep talk, New Lusitania came out stronger in the second half however. Silveira with a great shot, saved by the goalkeeper. At the hour mark, Mário passes to Jota in an aerial pass, Hidercky deflected the goal, leaving the Lusitanian team with a corner. Veiga took it, and an unlikely hero, centre-back Leiteiro, headed it in.
Edmunsonowivic fell onto the floor as a result of Nevais' tackle entering the box. A penalty for the Penguins. Dianawsci takes it and puts it to the left, for Patríce to simply save it. A good game for the Selecção which gave them a good start in Drawkland. FULL TIME: 0-1

Interview
I: To change it up, tonight we're with the man of the hour, in his first app, where he scored the winning goal. Ladies and gentlemen, Diogo Leiteiro. Diogo, how does it feel?
DL: Amazing. Specially as it was the winner. The other team played decently and if it weren't for Rui saving those shots we it could've been different, but that's his job and he played well .
I: What next for the team?
DL: We're hoping to exit the group stage and try and go the furthest possible. Then I'm hoping, personally, that I get to see us in World Cup Qualifying. Either way, one step at a time, and we need to focus on the task at hand.
I: Thank you, Diogo
DL: No problem.



THE HUB
GOALS: Leiteiro (1)
ASSISTS: Veiga (1)

LATEST STATS
World Cup 82 Quals
Top Goalscorers: Silveira (9)
Assists: Fernando (8)
Cup of Harmony 74
Top Goalscorer: Silveira (4)
Assists: Fernando (3)
IDU Championships
Top Goalscorer: Gama (2)
Assists: Fernando (2)
IA6
Top Goalscorer: Silveira (4)
Assists: Fernando

-------------------------------------
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[Kavagrad]

The Kavagrad Sportsman
Kavagrad's Most Trusted Daily Sports Leaflet Since 1961



Above: Patriotic working-class Kavagraders in Verbjagrad celebrate our victory!

Communist football proven superior in ideological battle!

Four shots to the heads of far-right regimes everywhere, as the brave Redhearts put the Nilrahrarfan fascists down in a stunning 4-2 victory for our boys in red and white!

Louis-Henri Bonne scored his first of three goals in just the 6th minutes, coming deeper that usual to pick up the ball from Eric Valenti, playing it forward to Moses Maxwell Diaby, before sprinting forward to receive a through ball beyond the defensive line, and placing it past the keeper and into the Nilrahrarfan goal. The second came in the 41st minute, as a scramble inside the penalty area led to the ball falling at the feet of Bonne from just 5 yards out, who slammed it into the roof of the net without hesitation for his second of the night. Two more goals would follow before the half-time whistle, both scored by Nilrahrarfan, one of which came 4 minutes into an injury time period that had initially been marked for 2 minutes, leaving Redheart fans in uproar. There is no doubt in this journalists' mind that the fascist bastards threatened the referee into helping them. Well, no threats or violence can cover up fascist inferiority, as our boys soon showed!

This brought the Kavagrader players out into the second half with a vengeance. Peppering the Nilrahrarfan goal with shot after shot, it was only a matter of time before the collective efforts of the talented Redhearts proved to be too much. And so it proved in the 74th minute, as Louis-Henri Bonne scored a brilliant goal from outside the area, cutting inside from the left-wing, beating a Nilrahrarfan defender and hitting the ball into the top-right hand corner from 28 yards out. In his first game of the tournament, Bonne may have secured himself the title of Goal of the Tournament. As it was, he certainly picked up the match ball after his hat-trick (which was secured quickly after the match to ensure that the fascists couldn't steal it), and the game would be finished off just 3 minutes later. In the 77th, Moses Maxwell Diaby was brutally brought down on the edge of the area, moments before he could fire a shot that would've surely gone in. However, Diaby stepped up to take the resulting free-kick himself, curling the ball around the opposition's wall (fascists were never good at building those) and beating the keeper to kill off the game.

Fans of the Redhearts from all across the world wait with baited breath to see if Kavagrad can improve on their 4th place finish from the last campaign. If this result is anything to go by, they should feel optimistic.

[Recuecn]

Franky A
‏@thefranky June 6
Excited to be here in Drawkland for #IAC7!

The flight in from Reçueçn to Drawkland was a long one, giving the Reçuecian National Team plenty of time to spend in each other’s company, in addition to the time they’d already spent together at the training center. But the team didn’t come away from it with any of the fun youtube montages that other nation’s teams often put together. The Unicorns, as they are called, have none of the inside jokes or team traditions that PR teams get so much mileage out of, none of the camaraderie and team spirit that is so marketable. One Drawkish publication, in an attempt to introduce the 24 teams of the tournament, listed the “Top 3 Things About Each IAC Team.” Reçueçn’s were their defensive style, and their dysfunctionality. I forget the third.

Perhaps that is why, their first few days in Drawkland leading up to their opening game, the atmosphere surrounding the Reçuecians seemed so dismal. Player interviews were short and curt, and the team didn’t release any of its own coverage as one might expect. Tremblay, the manager, was the only one who sounded hopeful. “Everyone knows that we’re not supposed to make it out of our group. But it’s been a long time since they’ve seen us play.”

Emanuele Cutrona
‏@manuc June 7
Training for the IAC; seems like some players should be spending more time on the field and less on social media.

Certainly, Tremblay knew his team the best. But everyone took his comments as the empty words of any pre-tournament coach. With his team frowning on camera, and two of his players actively feuding on twitter, it appeared that he was just trying to keep up a brave front. It would take something more to inspire the same confidence and energy in his team.

Franky A
‏@thefranky June 7
@manuc, if you have something to say, @ me

One press conference in particular highlighted the pain the team was going through. As Tremblay sat at a panel with Freeman Lebo and Norman Bright, you could see the grimaces on his face on camera as the players began to talk over each other and contradict each other, neither offering much hope for Reçueçn’s chances.

“Do you have high hopes for the tournament?” asked a reporter.

“I don’t know,” said Lebo. “There’s not a lot of international talent on this team—I think I might be the only one who’s played overseas and that just doesn’t bode well.”

“What about homegrown talent?”

“I think our real stars have stayed at home,” said Bright, giving Lebo a side-eye. “There’s a lot to be said for loyalty to the fans, to the country—and we’ve got some great players back at home, even if they aren’t great at sharing the glory with each other always.”

Lebo had already cut in by this point. “That’s just misleading. The RNFL is of such lower quality than other countries’ leagues that it’s surprising, frankly, we can even make it onto the international stage.”

“Lower quality, ha! Why don’t you come on home and we’ll show you how we real Reçuecian can play!”

By this point, Tremblay had his face in his hands.

Emanuele Cutrona
‏@manuc June 7
@thefranky oh I will. But maybe you’re fine staying off the field. That finish of yours is looking a bit rusty lately

With the team so demoralized, it was a mercy that their most challenging games of the group stage were saved for last. A good start was Tremblay’s only hope to get the team back into the right spirit. So a lot hung on the opening match against HSOWA. Tremblay needed it to set the tone for the whole tournament, plus it was the Unicorns’ best chance to get three points.

Things started off hairy. If anything, HSOWA played an even more possession-based game than the Reçuecians did, and faced with another defensive team, the Reçuecians didn’t really know what to do. The game moved slow, with possession about equal as it opened. This was tough for the Unicorns—their game plan relied on them controlling the ball. As they neared the half, they got more and more desperate. Soon enough, HSOWA forced them into the trap they’d been setting—on a rare HSOWA breakthrough, Beck slid in on Karin from behind in a dirty tackle. Beck was booked, and HSOWA was handed a penalty. Firaut dove to his left; Karin curled it into the upper ninety on the opposite side.

Things were looking grim as the halftime whistle blew. Beck’s teammates rounded up on him, frustrated that he’d given away a goal. The locker room was miserable. Tremblay, seeing that after the treatment he’d been given, Beck wasn’t emotionally to play anymore, subbed on Cutrona to replace him as the second half began.

It took almost twenty minutes for anything to happen. But in the sixty-fourth minute, Reçueçn won a corner. They crowded the box—atypical, but at this point they were worried. Franky took the kick, and as the defenders rushed in, Cutrona headed it downward and the ball bounced away from Itsuki into the net. The Reçuecians were ecstatic! Cutrona held out his arms like plane wings and slid on his knees to the corner flag, pumping his fists. He was over the moon; his first international goal, at his first international cap. Franky tackled him from behind and pinned him to the ground with a hug.

When the resulting dog-pile had cleared, you could already feel a little bit of something new about the Reçuecian team. It didn’t take too long for it to show. The equalizer had given them a second wind, and eight minutes later, they scored again. This time Lavigne curled it in from just outside the penalty box on the left wing. The Reçuecian fans in the stadium were on their feet, roaring. It looked like they might be getting their three points after all. When Franky dribbled past the last two defenders to slot the ball past Itsuki in the eighty-fourth minute, the contest was over. And the Reçuecians had a new identity. Now, they were winners. And winners stuck together.

Post-match Tremblay was more cautious and measured than he had been before. “Our hardest games are still ahead of us. This is a great way to start off, for sure, but we need to focus in and keep up our training.” It was the players now who were the excited ones.

The picture the was splashed across the front pages back home in Reçueçn below the “Reçueçn 3, HSOWA 1” headline was one of Franky Adams and Emanuele Cutrona on the stallion statue at Stad-Stallion. Franky and Cutrona’s clung desperately to the stallion, with their arms over its front legs and their legs wrapped around its torso. You could see them in the photo, trying to hold each other on to avoid slipping down its rearing back, while their teammates photobombed. Everyone in the photo was absolutely beaming.

Emanuele Cutrona
‏@manuc June 7
@thefranky sick goal today! And thanks for the assist! Can’t wait for the next one

[Drawkland]

INDEPENDENT ASSOCIATIONS CHAMPIONSHIPS 7
Drawkland - Raikennax and Kayo

Matchday 2 - Results!
The Wheel in the Sky keeps on turning ... Margaret in the code keeps on scoring ...

---

Group A
Castle Stadium, Raikennax
Orestea 1–1 United States of Devonta
Drawkland 4–2 Crownbrook

  Group A                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Drawkland                      2   2  0  0    9   3  +6    6
2 United States of Devonta       2   1  1  0    2   1  +1    4
3 Orestea                        2   0  1  1    2   6  −4    1
4 Crownbrook                     2   0  0  2    2   5  −3    0

Group B
Stad-Stallion, Raikennax
Alpine Union 0–1 Reçueçn
Squornshelan Remnant States 0–0 Hot Skitty on Wailord Action

  Group B                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Reçueçn                        2   2  0  0    4   1  +3    6
2 Squornshelan Remnant States    2   1  1  0    3   0  +3    4
3 Hot Skitty on Wailord Action   2   0  1  1    1   3  −2    1
4 Alpine Union                   2   0  0  2    0   4  −4    0

Group C
Red Knight Field, Raikennax
Lisander 1–1 New Lusitania
Aaaaaa 0–1 The PenguinLand

  Group C                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 New Lusitania                  2   1  1  0    2   1  +1    4
2 The PenguinLand                2   1  0  1    1   1   0    3
3 Lisander                       2   0  2  0    3   3   0    2
4 Aaaaaa                         2   0  1  1    2   3  −1    1

Group D
Kanyo Pitch, Kayo
Indusse 3–1 Tulize
Juvencus 1–3 Omerica

  Group D                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Omerica                        2   2  0  0    5   1  +4    6
2 Indusse                        2   1  0  1    3   2  +1    3
3 Juvencus                       2   1  0  1    2   3  −1    3
4 Tulize                         2   0  0  2    1   5  −4    0

Group E
The KayoDome, Kayo
Free Republics 3–5 Kavagrad
Darkmania 5–0 Nilrahrarfan

  Group E                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Kavagrad                       2   2  0  0    9   5  +4    6
2 Darkmania                      2   1  0  1    5   2  +3    3
3 Free Republics                 2   1  0  1    5   5   0    3
4 Nilrahrarfan                   2   0  0  2    2   9  −7    0

Group F
Enchantress Stadium, Kayo
Shatla 2–2 Sajnur
Lochario 3–5 Abanhfleft

  Group F                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Shatla                         2   1  1  0    6   3  +3    4
2 Sajnur                         2   1  1  0    6   4  +2    4
3 Abanhfleft                     2   1  0  1    7   7   0    3
4 Lochario                       2   0  0  2    4   9  −5    0

[Squornshelan Remnant States]

Vengeance and Stalemate

Two years ago, having stormed through the group stage, winning all three games, including an upset of IAC 6 hosts Mercedini without allowing a single goal, the SRS ran slap-bang into a well-prepared Alpine team, who sent them packing from the second with a thorough defensive performance. Confederate fans were, accordingly, delighted with the IAC 7 draw, which placed their Black-and-Reds in Group B, along with the Alpine Union, and two unranked teams: Reçueçn and Hot Skitty on Wailord Action. The first matchday would present the Black-and-Reds, many of whom were present for that second-round loss two years ago, with an opportunity to set the record straight.

They wasted no time in setting to their task, with Ajao earning an early free kick just a few feet outside the box and Damot capitalizing on the opportunity with a perfectly placed shot. The Alpines tried to regroup and push forward off the ensuing kickoff, but the Confederate defense held its shape well, limiting lanes to the interior of the field, and stepping in to intercept passes at opportune times. With a consistent ability to take the ball back from their opponents, the Black-and-Reds were able to double their lead just before the half as Vladcik capped off a long, methodical buildup of pressure. Early in the second, things got even worse for the Alpine Union, as Zawistowski mishit a backpass for Kwietniewska. Without enough weight on it, the ball was intercepted by an alert Jzvanic well before it reached the Alpine keeper, and without supporting defenders to pressure him, he finished easily. From that point, the Black-and-Reds began to sit a bit further back, and though there were shots at both ends, the match seemed pretty well over to many. By the time the final whistle sounded, Stad-Stallion was at least half empty, with many neutrals having left in search of more entertaining fare.

In Group B's other matchup, Reçueçn cruised to a victory for reasonably named nations everywhere, scoring three goals to their opponents' one. This leaves the Confederacy atop the group on superior goal differential, with our toughest opponent (on paper at least) already behind us. Even a single victory from the remaining two matches would likely be enough to send the Black-and-Reds back to the second round. That said, Donnell will be sure to keep her players focused on the task at hand. There are two more matches left to be played, and I fully expect the same sort of disciplined, responsible approach that this team has become known for.

In the Black-and-Reds' second match, HSOWA were determined as usual to avoid conceding at any cost, concentrating their numbers in their own defensive half, and making relatively few forays forward. For a change, it was left to the Confederates to press the attack. Though HSOWA were certainly interested in holding the ball themselves, rather than simply booting it out of their zone and giving possession back to the Black-and-Reds, they were in no hurry to bring the ball forward. Instead, they were content to play backpasses and hold possession deep in their own end if need be, hoping to draw their opponents forward to open up space for an attack. The back line, particularly team captain Wataru played well, keeping their cool under pressure. They were able to avoid committing mistakes under pressure, and there was very little space available for the Confederate forwards. At the other end of the field, the HSOWA attackers (what few of them there were) were equally unable to make inroads against the Confederate back four, with Oleb and Dalso marshaling their forces well to keep shooting opportunities at a safe distance where few could give Munib too much trouble. If neutrals in attendance found the second half of the Confederacy's first match dull, this match was no better, as many non-partisan fans were no longer in their seats at the end of the match.

Meanwhile, Reçueçn eked out a one goal victory over the Alpine Union, who now have no chance to advance in the tournament. Reçueçn move into first place in the group, and have clinched their own advancement ahead of their final group stage matchup with the Black-and-Reds. It is definitely still possible for HSOWA to catch the Black-and-Reds, but would require a six-goal swing for them to surpass our goal differential. All the Black-and-Reds really need is a draw to be sure of advancement, but you can be sure Donnell's team will be out looking for the win, hoping to live up to their pot 1 billing by winning the group. With Reçueçn also playing in a very defensive style, this may not be the hottest ticket in town tomorrow night, as neither team played a particularly entertaining second match, and the third is shaping up to be just as much of a defensive slog.

SRS Schedule:

MD1: Squornshelan Remnant States 3–0 Alpine Union
MD2: Squornshelan Remnant States 0–0 Hot Skitty on Wailord Action
MD3: Squornshelan Remnant States  v  Reçueçn

[ThePenguinLand]

PenguinLand secure confident victory against Aaaaaa

PenguinLand 1-0 Aaaaaa

'72-Dinawsci

Lineup(With Match Ratings)(Lineup unkown for Aaaaaa)

GK-Bogodin Stankovich(7.1)
RB-Eden Fore(7.0)
CB-Shidlern Prokazy(7.5)
CB-Rosamin Hidercky(7.4)
LB-Slozmow Jedercik(7.3)
CM- Nowac Strezelny(7.0)
CM- Mattias Gonzalaherna(7.7)
CM-Mattinas Gonzalodin(7.1)
RW-Mattias Fernandes(7.0)
ST-Martinas Edmunsonowivic(7.2)
LW-Leopold Dinawsci(7.5)

Key:
Subbed
Yellow Card
Goal
Subs:Edmunsonowivic-Skillanowic[7.0](65'min),Fernandes-Thiagomos[6.8](48'min),Fore-Hernazo[6.5](70'min)

Dinawsci redeems himself...

A much better performance feauturing a more confident squad, capable defending and high pressure on the opposition made our team retain the ball and control posession. A better outing for the attackers as well, great linking play from Gonzalaherna and a wonderful finish from Dinawsci to cement the win. Edmunsononwivic looked sharper as well, with more accuracy and quick shots looking to challenge the keeper's reflexes. Well, let's take a look at the highlights below:

35'min: That was dangerous! Aaaaaa had a chance there, played right through the middle just to be deflected inches wide. Their strikers look alert today.

43'min: Gonzalaherna plays Edmunsonowivic onside. He takes a touch and slams the ball past the defender to really startle the keeper. He's looking more lively today.

45'min: That was good play from Gonzalaherna to loft the ball over the defense into the path of Fernandes. Who takes it in his stride just to have it go over the bar.

---

52'min: Gonzalaherna gets the ball onto his right foot and takes the shot from 30 metres out. That one richoets off the post to be cleared by a defender.

72'min: 0-1 It's in! Gonzalaherna does well to play a through ball to Dinawsci. he dribbles it past two defenders, finshing it off in the bottom left corner. Wonderful strike that completely beat the keeper.

80'min: That one was close! Skillanowic who had been subbed on early, picks up the ball and manages to send a shot into the box. The keeper jsut managed to get a defelction on it. Sending it out for a corner.

[Abanhfleft]

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

The Football Fallacies
with Graham O'Doherty

GREAT JOB, NOW HOW ABOUT THAT CLEAN SHEET?

Just like how I am so sure that everyone shares the same feelings with me that losing sucks, I am now going on the record to say that I believe I speak for everyone when I say that winning is a much, much better feeling than losing. Unpopular opinion, I know. Controversial one as well. But there we go. I've said it, it's on the Internet, and I'm never ever going to get it back. My fate is in the hands of the Ether(net).

Hoo, now that that's off my chest, off to my next point. I don't think that I can ever remember a single game that Abanhfleft has played in which we ever got a clean sheet. I know that through the years, our strategy has always seemed to me like "score more than the opponents," but sometimes I just want to see a big fat juicy zero beside the opposing team's name as soon as the referee blows the final whistle. I don't know about you but that's how I like it. And I don't believe I've ever seen a clean sheet for the life of me. Oh, sure, I've seen clean sheets against Abanhfleft (meaning we were held scoreless by the teams we've played against) but I don't think we have held a team scoreless. Oh, sure there were times where we shut out this team from this nation that played only one qualifying cycle and then was never heard from again, but does that really count? For the sake of argument, I won't.

So let's backtrack a little bit here. Let's examine Abanhfleft's record in the Independents Cup. I know, relatively small sample size compared to the number of games we've played, but still, let's test out this theory. Let's go over them by tournament, shall we?

Here's the results from Independents Cup I:

• Abanhfleft 0–1 Kaboomlandia
• Prusy Krolewskie (now Alpine Union) 2–5 Abanhfleft
• Abanhfleft 5–2 Nordernious
• Abanhfleft 3–2 Bonesea (AET)
• Abanhfleft 3–3 Garifunya (Abanhfleft wins 3-2 on penalties)
• Veldgouwen 4–2 Abanhfleft (AET)
• Abanhfleft 2–1 Barunia

So as you can see, right off the bat we've got a bit of a clean sheet problem on our hands. Zero out of seven games played has Abanhfleft had a clean sheet. One out of seven games had a clean sheet, but it was Abanhfleft who failed to score in the ninety minutes against Kaboomlandia. Ah, doesn't that country bring back memories of some good times? But back to my point. Zero clean sheets out of seven games. What did that yellow-skinned principal cartoon character say (or rather, not say)? "Pathetic." Next!

Independents Cup II

• Abanhfleft 1–1 Kitsunia-Deesse
• Zaspeuwana 0–2 Abanhfleft
• Abanhfleft 2–1 Zitru
• Kel Assuk 1–3 Abanhfleft
• Bonesea 3–1 Abanhfleft

Well, will you look at that? We have finally found Abanhfleft's first ever clean sheet in the Independents Cup! And it's against... some nation named Zaspuewana. I cannot for the life of me remember what happened in that match. Can't remember the goalscorers, can't remember the kits, can't even remember where it was held! What I can remember about that tournament though is that quarterfinals loss to Bonesea. I remember thinking back then that Bonesea adapted their tactics to counter ours and it worked like a treat for them. And I stand by that statement today once again. Still, it's not looking very good for Abanhfleft in terms of clean sheets, is it? Only one out of five. Twenty percent success rate, if my math works out correctly. It's a massive improvement over the previous tournament where we had absolutely ZERO clean sheets, but still, it's an abysmal rate of return for a team of our caliber and magnitude. And really, I think that we should have been able to hold out against Kitsunia-Deesse. 1-0 to the Revolutionaries, 1-0 to the Revolutionaries, 1-0. I hate using a rival's chant but it really could have happened. Speaking of Kitsunia-Deesse, whatever happened to those guys anyway? Did they disappear like the rest of the Sunrisians or did they get absorbed or annexed or whatever into Kita-Hinode? What?

Independents Cup III

• Abanhfleft 2–0 The Selkie
• Abanhfleft 4–3 Aggrey-Fynn Land
• San Regada 1–2 Abanhfleft
• Abanhfleft 6–3 Spaam
• Abanhfleft 2–4 Schottia

Amazing! We've gotten yet another clean sheet! And once against another country that we all have little if any memory of, and even then there are apparently little if any records surviving about them. Scratch that. Apparently The Selkie are still around; they're just not bothering with football or even any other sport anymore. Perhaps we should take their lead about this stuff? I don't know. I'm just spitballing here. Who the hell are The Selkie anyway? Can't say I remember them all that well. But here's a match (or two) that I remember well: the 6-3 win versus Spaam and then that 4-2 loss against Schottia. The Spaam game sticks out to me simply because it is Fleftic football at its purest, most attacking form. Every single person on that team was pumped and fired up for that particular game, and the result and statistics show it. Shame that they couldn't replicate it against Schottia a few days later, but I've comforted myself with the belief that Schottia were the truly better team on that day, and that it probably wouldn't have been fair on them if we were the ones who had moved forward. Still didn't stop it from stinging and hurting once the final whistle had been blown, though. And we're still at a twenty-percent clean sheet rate here. All in all, two clean sheets in seventeen games is... *calculating noises* ...11.76% of games in the Independents Cup in which Abanhfleft has had a clean sheet. A horrible statistic, if you ask me.

Independents Cup IV

• East Vormsi 0–0 Abanhfleft
• New Doltania 1–2 Abanhfleft
• Abanhfleft 2–1 Vakolicci Haven and Celeria
• Abanhfleft 2–3 Alpine Union

And now to our shortest Independents Cup campaign so far. I believe I'm beginning to see a pattern here. Are you seeing it too? So far, three out of four opening games in the Independents Cup for Abanhfleft has seen us tallying clean sheets. Shame that we couldn't keep collecting them all throughout, but what can you do? At least we got some scrappy wins that led us all to believe that perhaps this team had finally got it in themselves to lift some silverware for the Democratic Republic. Alas, it was not to be. Goddamn the Alpine Union to the ends of the earth. Goddamn the Alpine Union to the heat death of the universe. I remember being so hyped for this game after an interview with Alpine player Bart... Bartolo... Bartholmey... Bartlomiej Szczepankiewicz! went viral all over Fleftic social media because he said that not only was he confident that the Alpine Union was going to win the game but that they were going to make us regret winning the coin toss that handed us top spot in Group B. I mean, the utter cheek and disrespect of it! And it wasn't just some blustering Irishman saying that he wanted to apologize to absolutely nobody, this person actually ended his statement with "lol"! Yes! "LOL"! As in "laugh out loud"! And it wasn't as if we were truly lucky with that coin toss; in fact, I believe we should have gotten top spot in the group on the basis of our better goals for than the runners-up, East Vormsi. Oh, god; I was just so fuming and angry when I watched that video, which you can watch here if you want to get fuming mad for some reason. I wanted our team to drop a hot load of goals into the Alpines' butts. I wanted to do it to them myself read bad. But I guess that's exactly what the Alpines had wanted, because the team was more focused on beating up the Alpines instead of, you know, actually playing football. The Alpine Union should have never advanced as far as they did in this particular edition of the Independents. Good thing Drawkland beat those cocky Alpines in the semifinals, and then Mercedini denied those assholes a bronze medal in the 3PPO. Serves them right for being such immature asshats. Anyway, where were we? We've finally improved our clean sheet percentage, up by five percentage points (or percentiles?) but still at a measly 25 percent. Room, for more improvement, there is.

Independents Cup V

• Abanhfleft 3–1 The Authoritarian Republic of Lochario
• Blaneu 1–3 Abanhfleft
• Abanhfleft 5–3 Thunisia
• Omerica 0–3 Abanhfleft
• Abanhfleft 3–2 ThePenguinLand
• Mercedini 3–2 Abanhfleft

Now this tournament was a bit of an outlier, in more ways than one. A surprisingly expanded field of teams meant that there were now five teams in each group for a total of forty teams. Also, Abanhfleft has finally failed to keep a clean sheet in their opening match of the tourney. But take a gander at that team we were up against though. The Authoritarian Republic of Lochario. Reminds me of this user in this little Internet forum-based game I dabble in going by the handle "The Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia". Story was that he tried to get Macedonia as a nation name but couldn't because a very old and veteran user on the forum had already used the name before before taking up a bunch of new names, most recently "Greece". Then "FYROM" eventually decided to just come back and transfer everything that he had into a new nation called "North Macedonia", something which was finally to the satisfaction of the other parties. I don't even know why I'm talking about Internet forum-based games in a blog about football, but there you go. Anyway, we still managed to clinch a clean sheet in this particular Independents Cup, and against Omerica of all nations. What did that big green guy in the tracksuit top say? "I see this as an absolute win." And it's perhaps the only real clean sheet of consequence we've kept or will ever keep in the Independents Cup. Unless our team finally decides to clean up its act. I don't know. A man can hope, can't he?

Independents Cup VI

• Abanhfleft 3–0 Sajnur
• Darkmania 2–4 Abanhfleft
• Abanhfleft 1–1 Adab
• Abanhfleft 2–1 Baranil
• Abanhfleft 2–2 Kavagrad (Kavagrad wins 5-4 on penalties)

And now to our most recent (concluded) edition of the Independents Cup. We're back to our old habits of securing our clean sheet early on in the tournament, as in during our opening game. Shame we couldn't have done it again, and against the very same opponents as well. But a clean sheet's a clean sheet. Another thing that I've noticed though. Why the fuck are these communist nations like the Alpine Union and Kavagrad so full of themselves? I read an article about Kavagrad's victory on penalties against us on their official news site (I think; don't quote me on that!) and they are just straight up butchering our nation name. That is something we're all kind of used to by now (we've got a hard-to-spell name, I have to admit) but the really glaring thing about this is that the fucking article managed to spell our name properly the first time and then proceeded with their butchering immediately afterwards. I mean, sure you can lord over your victory over us, but no need to be complete assholes about it and deliberately misspell our country's name after you've obviously done it correctly the first time! Seriously, Kavagrad. And then in this most recent Independents Cup I see another article from them boasting about the triumph of communist football over their decadent fascist opponents from Nils... Neal... Pil... Nilrahrarfan! Don't believe me? Here's the article where they deliberately misspell Abanhfleft after getting it right the first time, and then here's the article where they praise their ideological victory over the fascists. Communists, I tell you! Even Pridnestrovia was never this batshit insane when they had the hammer and sickle on their flag unironically. Good thing Kavagrad lost the 3PPO, but like their Alpine red brethren, they shouldn't have gotten there in the first place.

So where has this journey down memory lane led us? Well, first off, the statistics: out of 32 games, we have collected only five clean sheets, which comes out to a total of 15.625 percent of our Independents Cup games ending with us keeping clean sheets. I think you can see where I'm going here. We really need to work on our defense. Our attack is good; I think we are all in agreement about that. But as long as the opponents can score at least as many goals as we can, our own attacking prowess won't mean jack shit if we keep shipping goals. Come on, girls. I know that you can do better than this! We believe. We want to believe. XOXO from Graham....

[Recuecn]

Even keeled. Level-headed. Focused. Concentrated. Motivated. Single-minded. Determined. Driven. The list of synonyms goes on but there’s no point boring you. The point is that there’s a reason that there’s so many ways to express this same idea—the quality is an important one to maintain. One sees in the very makeup of our language the value we place on the ability to put your head down, keep your eyes on the goal, and drive toward it, refusing to allow distractions to steal your attention. And a very important ability this is.

This is particularly true for those who play sports—especially soccer, or football, or fußball, or whatever you want to call it. This is even more so the case during a tournament. In such a high-pressure atmosphere, there is a distinct need to roll with the punches and be able to play your best game regardless of the situation.

Why this little sermon? Isn’t this whole thing pretty obvious? Well, sure. Yet somehow the Reçuecian team hasn’t figured this whole thing out yet. Coming into the tournament the team’s morale was abysmal. Then, with a single win over an unranked team, their attitude completely turned itself around. Suddenly the players got along. Just one 3-1 win over Hot Skitty Wailord Action, and they were laughing in the locker room, posing for photo ops, and regaling reporters. Their manager, Tremblay, couldn’t believe his good luck.

The benefits of such improved morale definitely outweigh any of the negative effects of the fair-weather attitude the Reçuecians have been displaying. But the fans can’t help but be concerned. If the Unicorns lose their next game, will they go back to being their dismal, dopey selves? When will things click for them so that they can play the same, regardless of their emotions, the context, or whatever’s been happening off the pitch or before the game?

It’s probably best to take Tremblay’s attitude towards such things. Who knows what’s going on in the septuagenarian manager’s mind, but on the outside, he expresses little concern. He brushed off a question at a press conference, asking him if he was anxious about Reçueçn’s performance in their upcoming game against the Squornshelan Remnant States, the highest ranked team in the group. “I try not to worry about things. Obviously we’re preparing, getting ready to play our best when we step onto the pitch, but that’s very different from worrying—worrying doesn’t do anything for you. Plus, I’ve got lots of confidence. We’re coming off two great games, I’m confident we can get in a third and take top in the group.”

That certainly seems to be the attitude the Reçuecian players have taken, as evidenced by their performance against the Alpine Union earlier in the week. With the victory against HSOWA and the subsequent improvement of the team’s morale, the team didn’t appear to show any concern as they headed into the game against the much more highly ranked Alpine Union, a game the bookies had them losing.

The matchup was certainly an interesting one. The Union of Socialist Alpine Republics is the spiritual successor to Prusy Krolewskie, a team that took also part in the fifty-ninth baptism of fire, Reçueçn’s first introduction to international football. (Reçueçn took Panem, the tournament’s eventual champions, to penalty kicks in the quarterfinals. Prusy Krolewskie was forced out in the round of sixteen.) Since then, Prusy Krolewskie has overtaken Reçueçn in the footballing world, even despite the massive political transitions that have happened in their country. In Reçueçn, meanwhile, international sport has languished since its original debut in the World Cup 72 cycle, finally being brought back into existence with the recent creation of the Reçuecian ministry of sport. The two nations have more in common than the date of their participation in the Baptism of Fire, however; both are very alpine nations. Reçueçn is a tiny country nestled entirely in the Alps. The Alpine Union… well, it’s in the name.

The excitement of watching the two teams take each other on at Raikennax’s Stad-Stallion, then, derived almost more from the statistical and political import than it did from the actual game. The 1-0 win for the Unicorns was mostly uneventful. The Alpine Union came out attacking, but the Reçuecian players, inspired by their own performance in their most recent game, played a very controlled game with beautiful defense and well-planned attacks, holding off the U.S.A.R. until they could score a goal of their own.

The only goal of the game came at the beginning of the second half. Reçueçn, starting with the ball, first drew back into its own half, before beginning to slowly make progress up the field, passing back and forth and maintaining possession. Harold Saunders, with a beautiful dribble, managed to make it up the mid-field before passing out to Franky on the wing. Franky and Maynard Hebron tapped it back and forth giving the attackers time to get set up before Franky passed it back into the middle to Saunders who sent a beautiful through ball to Jean-Baptiste Brochard who chipped it into the far corner to take the lead.

The second half, Reçueçn seemed even more in control, although they never extended their lead any further. Their best chance came in the seventy-third minute when Franky took a beautiful shot from 26 yards out, reminiscent of his goal in the last game.
With the win in the bag, the team was even more elated than they had been before. Thomas Büchel had bought a waffle cone from an ice cream vendor outside the stadium before the game, and in celebration, the whole team posed again with the stallion statue inside the stadium, placing the cone on its head to make it look like their unicorn mascot. The photo again made the newspapers in Reçueçn—the stallion celebration appears to have already become a tradition with the Reçuecians.

[Omerica]

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All the football news that’s fit to print!

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IAC-7: Have we completely screwed ourselves over?
By Pierre Chrétien

Omerica are screwed. Needing just a draw to secure progression is poison to the Incorrigibles’ chances.

Omerica have a sort of last-day syndrome, where trailing teams have been able to sneak in and take knockout stage berths Omerica have set themselves in line for. Whether it’s the recent memory of humiliation against Geisenfried or the distant dream of that heartbreaking loss to Barunia in the World Cup finals, going up against a team we only need to draw against has been a recipe for disaster. In contrast, at the last IAC, a equal parts embarrassing and unlucky loss to Kavagrad had put the Incorrigibles in a victory-or-bust position, requiring a win over one of the pre-tournament favourites to advance; in that case, Omerica’s luck levelled out: a weaker-than-normal Free Republican side caught a couple unlucky breaks, leaving ample room for the Omericans to pounce and knock them out. Omerica even managed to advance at the last Cup of Harmony: group leaders Busoga lost to the Incorrigibles and saw themselves drop all the way to third thanks to a commanding Saltsteadish win over the Sherpa Empire.

If the Incorrigibles can escape with at least one point, they go through. Alternatively, if Tulize can put up their first-ever IAC points, the Incorrigibles go through. In fact, the only way for Omerica to crash out is if Juvencus and Indusse both win and win by a combined margin of at least six goals—a swing of just five would bring Les Incorrigibles and Gli Attaccanti level on goal difference, with the former advancing by virtue of their head-to-head win.

Normally, the nerves would be under control, but after Krytenia advanced at the last Cup of Harmony on a seven-goal swing in differential, progression is not to be taken for granted. Omerica captain Red Bolton has emphatically ruled out the possibility of the Incorrigibles playing for a draw, saying “[t]hat’s the first step on the road to defeat. We always play for the win and if we play for it, maybe we might get a draw, maybe we’ll get better than that. Play for a draw and you’re asking for trouble.”

All about that bye, ‘bout that bye
But if you’re not somehow convinced that the Incorrigibles will blow it.

Twenty-four team tournaments are terrible. Some compromise has to be made, the most common being to advance four third-place teams, which makes it harder to prevent mutually beneficial collusion between teams. Alternatively, the groups could be shrunk to three teams—quite possibly creating a dead rubber for a group’s final game—or expanded to six, which runs the risk of making the tournament too long and unwieldy to manage.

In a format that would be forgivable if and only if the tournament were being hosted by two countries, the tournament is essentially being run in two halves: one in Raikennax (which we’ll call the “red side”) and one in Kayo (the “gold side”). Each half gets its own knockout draw, with the winners of each half playing for the Independents Cup. Therefore, the results on the red side of the draw are irrelevant to Omerica’s chances of securing a playoff bye: all that matter are the results on the gold side. While it has the potential to cost a team a bye they would have otherwise earned by virtue of the two best group winners being on the same side of the draw as them, this format has the distinct advantage (at least from a commentator’s perspective) of making the permutations easier to calculate.

Team                           Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts    Final group game
E Kavagrad                       2   2  0  0    9   5  +4    6    v Darkmania
D Omerica                        2   2  0  0    5   1  +4    6    v Indusse
F Shatla                         2   1  1  0    6   3  +3    4    v Abanhfleft
F Sajnur                         2   1  1  0    6   4  +2    4    v Lochario
E Darkmania                      2   1  0  1    5   2  +3    3    v Kavagrad
D Indusse                        2   1  0  1    3   2  +1    3    v Omerica
F Abanhfleft                     2   1  0  1    7   7   0    3    v Shatla
E Free Republics                 2   1  0  1    5   5   0    3    v Nilrahrarfan
D Juvencus                       2   1  0  1    2   3  −1    3    v Tulize

Simply put, victory ensures the Incorrigibles avoid a playoff and advance directly into the quarterfinals, as Kavagrad would be the only team on the gold side that could match Omerica’s point total. A draw puts Omerica in a precarious position: Shatla would overtake us if they defeat Abanhfleft, while Sajnur could pull ahead if they win by at least two. Defeat would almost certainly ensure a playoff (assuming Omerica advance at all); as Group E’s winners would be (almost, thanks to goals scored being the last tiebreaker) certainly ahead of Omerica in the seeding, Omerica would need Sajnur to draw against Lochario and Abanhfleft to either draw or win by less than four minus Indusse’s of victory to avoid taking part in the first knockout round.

That does lead us to say something that perhaps no one expected this blog to say: at least this IAC format is encouraging us to not just sit back and play for a draw. The incredible incentive to win our last group game is one positive thing we can say about this IAC. ◇

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Port Alexandre, AM 18-A40
UNITED REPUBLICS OF OMERICA

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Juvencus 1–3 Omerica
Independent Associations Championship 7 — Matchday Two
Kanyo Pitch, Kayo, Drawkland
Goalscorers: Santo Silvestri 19’; John Soares 33’, Maria Nelissen 51’, Lucky Ashworth 76
Omerica line-up: Valentine Augustin; Julie Boulos, Aristide de Felice, Jesús Cruz, Fernand Michelakakis; John Soares, Elise Bianchi; Clemente Affini, Red Bolton (captain), Maria Nelissen; Lucky Ashworth

Omerica v Indusse
Independent Associations Championship 7 — Matchday Three
Kanyo Pitch, Kayo, Drawkland
Omerica line-up: Drew Durant; Maria “Jet” Sneyders, Emily Michelakis, Charity Kayode, Marine Roldan; Alex Rodrigues, Sean Tester; George Palmeiro, Robin van Tyn (captain), Martin la Rouge; Jean-François Fernand

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[Drawkland]

INDEPENDENT ASSOCIATIONS CHAMPIONSHIPS 7
Drawkland - Raikennax and Kayo

Matchday 3 - Results!
Do we have you running into the playoffs? Or are we Bringing on the Heartbreak? I guess we'll find out ....

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Group A
Castle Stadium, Raikennax
Crownbrook 2–0 Orestea
United States of Devonta 3–5 Drawkland

  Group A                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Drawkland                      3   3  0  0   14   6  +8    9
2 United States of Devonta       3   1  1  1    5   6  −1    4
3 Crownbrook                     3   1  0  2    4   5  −1    3
4 Orestea                        3   0  1  2    2   8  −6    1

Group B
Stad-Stallion, Raikennax
Hot Skitty on Wailord Action 1–0 Alpine Union
Reçueçn 2–2 Squornshelan Remnant States

  Group B                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Reçueçn                        3   2  1  0    6   3  +3    7
2 Squornshelan Remnant States    3   1  2  0    5   2  +3    5
3 Hot Skitty on Wailord Action   3   1  1  1    2   3  −1    4
4 Alpine Union                   3   0  0  3    0   5  −5    0

Group C
Red Knight Field, Raikennax
The PenguinLand 1–0 Lisander
New Lusitania 1–0 Aaaaaa

  Group C                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 New Lusitania                  3   2  1  0    3   1  +2    7
2 The PenguinLand                3   2  0  1    2   1  +1    6
3 Lisander                       3   0  2  1    3   4  −1    2
4 Aaaaaa                         3   0  1  2    2   4  −2    1

Group D
Kanyo Pitch, Kayo
Omerica 1–0 Indusse
Tulize 3–3 Juvencus

  Group D                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Omerica                        3   3  0  0    6   1  +5    9
2 Juvencus                       3   1  1  1    5   6  −1    4
3 Indusse                        3   1  0  2    3   3   0    3
4 Tulize                         3   0  1  2    4   8  −4    1

Group E
The KayoDome, Kayo
Nilrahrarfan 3–3 Free Republics
Kavagrad 4–1 Darkmania

  Group E                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Kavagrad                       3   3  0  0   13   6  +7    9
2 Free Republics                 3   1  1  1    8   8   0    4
3 Darkmania                      3   1  0  2    6   6   0    3
4 Nilrahrarfan                   3   0  1  2    5  12  −7    1

Group F
Enchantress Stadium, Kayo
Abanhfleft 3–2 Shatla
Sajnur 3–2 Lochario

  Group F                      Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Sajnur                         3   2  1  0    9   6  +3    7
2 Abanhfleft                     3   2  0  1   10   9  +1    6
3 Shatla                         3   1  1  1    8   6  +2    4
4 Lochario                       3   0  0  3    6  12  −6    0

[Drawkland]

INDEPENDENT ASSOCIATIONS CHAMPIONSHIPS 7
Drawkland - Raikennax and Kayo

Playoff Seedings

Raikennax

  Raikennax                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Drawkland                      3   3  0  0   14   6  +8    9
2 Reçueçn                        3   2  1  0    6   3  +3    7
3 New Lusitania                  3   2  1  0    3   1  +2    7
4 The PenguinLand                3   2  0  1    2   1  +1    6
5 Squornshelan Remnant States    3   1  2  0    5   2  +3    5
6 United States of Devonta       3   1  1  1    5   6  −1    4

Kayo

  Kayo                         Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Kavagrad                       3   3  0  0   13   6  +7    9
2 Omerica                        3   3  0  0    6   1  +5    9
3 Sajnur                         3   2  1  0    9   6  +3    7
4 Abanhfleft                     3   2  0  1   10   9  +1    6
5 Free Republics                 3   1  1  1    8   8   0    4
6 Juvencus                       3   1  1  1    5   6  −1    4

Playoff Matchups - Round of 12

Raikennax
Matches to be hosted at Red Knight Field

(4) The PenguinLand vs Squornshelan Remnant States (5)
Winner will play (1) Drawkland

(3) New Lusitania vs United States of Devonta (6)
Winner will play (2) Reçueçn

Kayo
Matches to be hosted at Enchantress Stadium

(4) Abanhfleft vs Free Republics (5)
Winner will play (1) Kavagrad

(3) Sajnur vs Juvencus (6)
Winner will play (2) Omerica

[ThePenguinLand]

PenguinLand secures passage through to the round of 12

PenguinLand 1-0 Lisander

78'-Edmunsonowivic

Lineups(wih Match ratings)(lineup unknown for Lisander)

GK-Bogodin Stankovich(7.2)
RB-Eden Fore(7.1)
CB-Shidlern Prokazy(7.5)
CB-Rosamin Hidercky(7.4)
LB-Slozmow Jedercik(7.3)
CM- Nowac Strezelny(7.5)
CM- Mattias Gonzalaherna(7.9)
CM-Mattinas Gonzalodin(7.7)
RW-Mattias Fernandes(7.2)
ST-Martinas Edmunsonowivic(8.0)
LW-Leopold Dinawsci (7.9)

Key;
Subbed
Goal
Yellow Card
Subs: Dinawsci-Sceopold[7.0](75'min), Hidercky-Crossic[7.3](75'min)

And we're through...

Well, we've done it! A calm controlled game to finish off the group stage and advance through. The back four looked composed and well commanded by Stankovich, with great possesion play to keep Lisander out of our own penalty box. The midfiled trio provided some great linking play between the two boxes, with Gozalaherna on top form. The finish this time, came from Edmunsonowivic with some wonderful play involving the whole length of the pitch. The condfidence of the team is back and we're ready to face who ever we come up against in the round of 12. Let's look at the highlight below:

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34'min: Good throughball from Gonzalaherna to find Dinawsci at the edge of the box. He lofts it in to connect with Edmunsonowivic, yet the ball only finds the bar.

42'min:Lisander had an oppurtinity there! A brilliant ball against the defence, yet just before their striker can get to it it's picked up and cleared by Prokazy.

44'min:Gonzalaherna's free kick is deflected by the relfexes of the keeper! Our players are looking sharp today, that one was heading for the bottom corner.

45+2'min: A lovely cross from Fernandes leaves Dinawsci open with space. He takes a touch and decides to shoot, again only to be saved with inches to spare from the keeper.

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Half-time

60'min: A dangerous looking ball into the penalty area by Gonzalodin. Dinawsci manages to keep it moving with a header to Edmunsonowivic, who volleys it first time. That one just skimmed the bar.

78'min: We've done it! 0-1 Eden Fore manages to get a long ball upfield where it's picked by Gonzalaherna. He plays it down the middle and through the defence. Edmunsonowivic turns and shoots. A curling finish straight into the net.

80'min: Fernandes is onside here. He manages to worm the ball through to Dinawsci, who plays back into the center. Edmunsonwivic's reflex header is off by just centimetres

88'min: What a strike from Strezelny! Who manages to get the ball on target from 30 metres out. Shame it's saved by the keeper.

[Drawkland]

INDEPENDENT ASSOCIATIONS CHAMPIONSHIPS 7
Drawkland - Raikennax and Kayo

Round of 12 - Results!
So this is the playoffs? Let's see what you can do!

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Round of 12 Matches

Raikennax
Red Knight Field
The PenguinLand 2–1 Squornshelan Remnant States
New Lusitania 2–1 United States of Devonta

Kayo
Enchantress Stadium
Abanhfleft 3–3 Free Republics (4–5 AET)
Sajnur 3–6 Juvencus

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Quarterfinal Matches

Raikennax
Matches to be hosted at Stad-Stallion

(1) Drawkland vs The PenguinLand (4)

(2) Reçueçn vs New Lusitania (3)

Kayo
Matches to be hosted at the KayoDome

(1) Kavagrad vs Free Republics (5)

(2) Omerica vs Juvencus (6)

[ThePenguinLand]

PenguinLand manage to get through in a thrilling game against the SRS!

PenguinLand 2-1 SRS

'48-Prokazy

'60-Demkjo Jzvanic

'72-Edmunsonowivic

Lineups(with Match ratings)

GK- Istaro Munib
LB- Djabgor Dzarkhin
CB- Tervi Oleb (VC)
CB- Rudi Dalso
RB- Jinkzta Ulcviecel
LM- Vrenz Tambura
RM- Eyob Zonde
CM- Arlo Damot (C)
LF- Jzeovak Vladcik
ST- Zoban Ajao
RF- Demkjo Jzvanic

GK-Bogodin Stankovich(7.5)
RB-Eden Fore(7.2)
CB-Shidlern Prokazy(7.9)
CB-Rosamin Hidercky(7.6)
LB-Slozmow Jedercik(7.1)
CM- Nowac Strezelny(7.4)
CM- Mattias Gonzalaherna(8.0)
CM-Mattinas Gonzalodin(7.0)
RW-Mattias Fernandes(7.2)
ST-Martinas Edmunsonowivic(8.2)
LW-Leopold Dinawsci(7.7)

Key:
Subbed
Goals
Yellow Card
Subs: Dinawsci-Sceopold[7.4](50'min),Gonzalodin-Mattic[7.5](45'min),Jedercik-Dainawonic[7.3](63'min)

Wonderful Performance from Edmunsonowivic puts us through...

Our attacking trio truly stepped up to the task, with great searching passes finding space in behind the defense as well as a great arial ability to constantly win headers and regain possesion. The possesion game was increased, with our defenders doing a particularly good job of keeping the ball away from our goal(for the most part). Obviously, we did not get a clean sheet, as a sensational strike from Demkjo Jzvanic beat Stankovich. Our midfielders played an energetic game while both keeping possesion and looking for ways to move the ball up into an attacking posture. Let's go through the higlights:

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34'min: A good ball from Arlo Damot finds it's way into the penalty box. It's picked up by Zoban Ajoa, yet sent wide with a deflection from the keeper.

42'min: Ooh! There was another chance for the confederates! Ajoa picks up the ball and moves it into the area.Demjo Jzvanic gets on it and sends a shot into the corner. A fingertip save from Stankovich manages to keep it out.

44'min: Dinawsci plays the ball across goal, straight into the path of Gonzalaherna. He manages to get a foot on it, yet the resulting deflection off Istaro Munib puts it wide for a corner.

45'min: We nearly had one there! A great cross from Dinawsci from the corner puts the ball into the box onto the head of Edmunsonowivic. His reflex header takes the ball goalwards. A magnificent save from Munib keeps the score at 0-0.

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Half-time

48'min: It's in! 0-1 After another corner, the ball is miscleared by Tervi Oleb. Prokazy gets on the rebound and heads it into the top corner. Now, we have a chance of going through.

60'min: SRS have equalised!1-1 Damot plays the ball through to Jzvanic who steps into the edge of the penalty area. He shoots the ball into the top left corner completely leaving Stankovich beaten.

72'min: We've done it again!1-2 Gonzalaherna lofts a pass through the defense to find Edmunsonowivic. He does what he does best. Turns and finishes the ball into the bottom corner. Hope is still alive!

80'min: It could've been 3! A wonderful pass from Fernandes sets up Gonzalaherna on the edge of the box. The eschewing shot warrants yet another fingertip save from Munib.

[Recuecn]

Heading into the last round of the group stage of the IAC, the Squornshelan Remnant States and Reçueçn were both sitting pretty. Reçueçn was on top of the group, with their advancement already a sure thing. A tie would seal their spot at the top and give them a decent shot at winning the bye for the round of twelve. The Squornshelan Remnant States would also probably be content with a tie, securing their way through to the knockouts. So if I tell you that the game was in fact a draw, you will probably imagine that both teams were content to play for the tie, neither side attempting anything risky, both happy to pass the ball around for ninety minutes until they could all go home.

The soccer game you are picturing couldn’t be further from the one that was actually played out in Stad-Stallion to wrap up play in the IAC’s group 2. Despite the fact that with the contest between the Alpine Union and Hot Skitty on Wailord Action over, both teams were already set to advance, barring a 4-0 defeat of the Squornshelans, each side took the opportunity to play the best football they were capable of, charging in in full swing. Considering how defensive the Reçuecian team usually is, they really went in on the attack.

The Squornshelan Remnant States won the coin flip and started the first half with possession. The Reçuecian starting lineup looked pretty typical--Grégoire Leclair starting in the defensive midfielder’s position, with Saunders on the bench, was the only change. Other than that, the Unicorns were fielding their normal 4-3-3 (although for some reason the Reçuecian national team insists on labeling their lineup as a 1-3-3-3, making a distinction in the case of the sweeper. In practice, the Reçuecian back line is always in a very nice-looking row, trying to catch attackers offsides).

Not only had SRS won the kick-off, they began the match with a dominant showing, constantly pressing the Reçuecians and containing them pretty nicely on their own half. The Reçuecian midfield did a great job preventing any shots that were too dangerous from making their way through—the only real efforts were a couple balls in from way out in the corner by the Black-and-Reds captain Arlo Damot and Demkjo Jzvanic, as well as a long attempt from Zoban Ajao, all stopped nicely by the Reçueçn goalkeeper, Gerald Firaut. None of the shots had really had the angle.

Fifteen minutes into the game, the Unicorns still hadn’t had a touch inside the Confederacy’s 18-yard box, and it was looking like things were going to head south for the Allied States if the continued to do no more than play in front of their own goal and wait. Fortunately, at the seventeen-minute mark, Franky made a beautiful tackle to steal the ball in the center circle and sent a fantastic through ball between a couple of Confederate defenders for Freeman Lebo to run away with. Lebo, with a great first touch, found himself right on the end of Franky’s pass and able to pull away from the Confederacy’s players on the breakaway—almost. Tervi Oleb managed to catch up and force him into the left corner where Lebo hung on to the ball, waiting hopelessly for reinforcements to arrive. Unable to find an opening for a centering cross, Lebo lost the ball out to a throw-in, but both teams had felt the shift in the pace of the game.

Reçueçn now began fighting to make something out of their possessions and began in turn pressing against the Confederacy of Squornshelan Remnant States, although besides one missed free kick, they gained little to show for it. The commentators noticed a marked difference though—Reçueçn wasn’t going to be passive in this game.

With possession now about equal, in the thirty-second minute, the Confederacy got the chance they’d been looking for. Coursing down the flank, Jzvanic made it past the midfield and two defenders, before finding Damot, who drove home the ball past a third. Reçueçn, of course, was still guaranteed to advance, but the team wasn’t happy with this; they redoubled their attacks, now sending shots barely over the crossbar, even hitting the woodwork, and of course drawing some quality saves from the Confederacy goalkeeper. But by the end of the first half, although it was now the Unicorns on the attack, they were still down one-nil.

In the locker-room, Tremblay spoke to the team. “Écoute, les gars, we’re still going to advance. We knew that last week, and you’re thinking that while you play. But merde, it shows! You’re thinking, ‘they can’t take away our spot in the next round.’ But what they’re taking away is so much more important! They’re taking away your pride, they’re taking away your spirit! If you go play this next half the same way, as if you don’t care if you win, then putain… Voyez, I need that you score more goals. I want that we depass them. I want that we win this game. Isn’t that what you want?”

Tremblay’s speech was greeted with cheers. It wasn’t quite fair to the team—they hadn’t been playing badly, they just happened to be down a goal at the half. But Tremblay would say what he had to to get them motivated coming back out. He also made a half-time change—Saunders was back on. He needed that attack in the midfield.

Sure enough, Reçueçn came out in the second half attacking even harder than they had finishing up the first. And within ten minutes, they had what they were looking for. In the fifty-second minute, Hippolyte Lavigne won a corner, sent a beautiful ball into the 18-yard box, and Harold Saunders slipped his mark and booted the volley into the back of the net. The Reçuecians went wild. The mild-mannered Saunders merely stood on the sideline, smiling contentedly, as his teammates mobbed him, jumping on his shoulders and clapping his head.

Play had hardly resumed, however, when their elation was cut short. Their midfield, pushing forward to set up another attack, let the Confederacy through and Vladcik took a tremendous shot that deflected in, leaving Firaut wrong-footed. Now the Unicorns were aghast. They looked at each other, speechless. They’d been fighting so hard to tie things up, and here that was taken away from them again almost instantly.

At this point the game really became one worth watching. Both teams put their all into the match—the Squornshelans to extend their lead, knowing a one-goal difference might be untenable, the Reçuecians in an effort to undo that difference. As both sides strived more and more to tip the balance, they began to commit more fouls. Saunders and Franky each took yellow cards, at which point Tremblay took Franky off. The Confederacy gave up a couple dangerously placed free kicks which the Unicorns proved unable to convert.

Finally, in the seventy-sixth minute, Ly Nasser, who’d been subbed on for Franky, found himself surrounded by red-and-blacks in their 18-yard box, unable to push on or find a forward pass. But a cheeky back-heel pass found Maynard Hebron, who settled the ball and then sent it sailing beautifully just past the fingertips of Istaro Munib. The score was even again, two to two.

The last fourteen minutes of the game (plus another five minutes of stoppage) had the spectators on tenterhooks. At this point it was clear that both teams would be through to the round of twelve, but the match itself was gripping in its own right. The Reçuecians, who had spent half the game playing catch-up, were desperate not to wind up in that situation again with only seconds left. They never had a chance to rest easy; the last play of the game was a corner kick for the red-and-blacks. Firaut, diving, managed to push away a bouncing header, but then had to struggle back to his knees to deflect the rebound off his outstretched leg a split-second later. A third save, diving the other way, came just another second later, but this time the ball rolled into the path of Emanuele Cutrona who booted it clear. With that, the whistle blew, and both teams were through into the round of twelve.

The Reçuecians, suckers for tradition, celebrated their advancement with yet another team photo in front of the stallion statue at Stad-Stallion—this one a little less goofy—it was a posed team photo with the game ball. Tremblay stood in the back, smiling, already planning for their next match.

[Sajnur]

Revenge on Abanhfleft!

Sajnur has started the campaign with a rematch against Abanhfleft, but this time Sajnur came out victorious 4-2. While the fixture three years ago saw an Abanhfleft masterclass with 73% possession being Fleftic, this time around the Sajnuran XI clamped down on the Fleftic forces, and while the blue, yellow, and green still had 59% of the ball, they were unable to hold off the Sajnuran counter attacks without it, and they could not reliably prevent Sajnuran attacks when Jessica Siafik has prolonged control of possession.

The first half played out much as the match in Mercedini played out, with Abanhfleft controlling the ball and Sajnur camping in defence, but Abanhfleft could find no gaps, and the 30th minute left them behind instead, as Taulant Haji dispossessed Amelie Rusev and sent the ball behind enemy lines to an onrushing Ahmed Nazar, who met Stephanie Bryan at the end of his clear run and curled past her to bring Sajnur the lead. Abanhfleft soon hit back as Prudence Woodward stepped past Zain Hasan and sent Kelly McGinnis through to the six yard box where she curled the ball past Piotr Laghiev to equalise. Sajnur restored their lead with a free kick, won when Deborah Riddles toom down Haji on one of the wing back's runs, which captain Siafik dispatched into the top corner. Annoyingly, the half would end all square as Erin Jensdottir-Jennings shot from 30 yards past Laghiev.

The second half is where Sajnur pressed their dominance in defence, as Abanhfleft could hardly get into the penalty box, let alone get a good shot at goal, especially given that they no longer had the dominance in possession that they had in the previous three halves of Abanhfleft v Sajnur. The result in this half of play, therefore, was no goals for Abanhfleft and two more goals for Sajnur. The first (well, third), was the customary Andre Naulo goal, with him popping up in the penalty box to receive the customary Siafik through pass and send the customary low shot past Bryan to give Sajnur the lead once and for all. Abanhfleft had several speculative attempts at goal, but with none of them remotely near goal, Sajnur buried the match once and for all with a 35 yard missile from Kahala Murje to finalise the score 4-2.

Sajnur        4 - 2        Abanhfleft

Nazar 30' (Haji)           McGinnis 37' (Woodward)
Siafik 42'                 Jensdottir-Jennings 45' (Woodward)
Naulo 61' (Siafik)
Murje 85' (Siafik)

Sajnur        2 - 2        Shatla

Nazar 18' (Haji)           Mallow 51'
Maktar 90+2' (Kiral)       Pew 60' (p)

Sajnur        3 - 2        Lochario

Naulo 57' (Siafik)         Iouta 21' (Rayuit)
      70' (Siafik)         Rayuit 38' (Oihan)
      90+1' (Siafik)

[Kavagrad]

The Kavagrad Sportsman
Kavagrad's Most Trusted Daily Sports Leaflet Since 1961


Above: Kavagrader fans in Kayo celebrate our 4th goal against Free Republics!

Onwards we march, for more of the same!

As Free Republics beat Abanhfelft after extra time on Monday, fans of our great Redhearts breathed a sign of relief. Kavagrad go into the Quarter-Finals of the Independent Associations Cup with an opponent that they've already beaten once in the last week, and with a potential rematch of the last tournament's Semi-Final on the horizon if the Redhearts can see off the Republicans once again. Meanwhile, with all of last tournament's Semi-Finalists still in the competition, Kavagrad could also have another shot as New Lusitania, who defeated us in the 3rd/4th Place Playoff at the last tournament, or even defending champions and hosts Drawkland, if they can get far enough.

Ian Wissa is confident that his team is capable of going all the way. The Redhearts' manager spoke to a Sportsman journalist and stated:

"In our first entry, we were knocked out of the group stages. In our second, we made it to the semi-finals and came fourth. I believe that we have only improved since then, and our opposition clearly hasn't kept up. Compare our result against Free Republics in our first run, a loss by 2 goals, to our game last week, a win by 2 goals. We are constantly progressing, and teams that can't do the same will be swept aside. I truly believe that we have assembled the best side that Kavagrad has ever seen, there is no debate. It is about time that we are rewarded for our efforts with some silverware, and I know that the boys are hungrier for it than I've ever seen them."

Kavagrad vs Free Republics will be shown live on KTVS1 at 5am Kavagrader Standard Time. A live text feed will be available on our website, thesportsman.kvg

[Omerica]

blogdefootball.co.om
All the football news that’s fit to print!

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IAC-7: The Quarterfinals Beckon
By Pierre Chrétien

Here in Drawkland, for only the second time in the history of Omerican football, the Incorrigibles have put up a perfect group stage performance: three games, three wins. Ironically, that meant the Incorrigibles wouldn’t take part in the first round of the knockout stage. But unlike last time, where it cost Omerica what was (in hindsight) a great chance to take home medals from the second-most prestigious competition in international football (sorry, AOCAF) and kicked off a superstition that was only decisively broken less than twelve months ago, the Incorrigibles remain firmly in contention for the Independents Cup.

A sufficient 1–0 win over Indusse ensured direct passage to the quarterfinals over Sajnur, whose records would have seen them through directly to the quarterfinals on the other side of the tournament draw. (Sounds like something some football writer may have seen coming…) Unfortunately, they faced and lost a high-stakes playoff against Juvencus, while Reçueçn were sitting back sipping piña coladas (we assume) in Raikennax. Kavagrad, meanwhile, were guaranteed a meeting with one of the runners-up—which we’ve now discovered to be the Free Republics—after smashing Darkmania 4–1 to complete a perfect group stage of their own.

On the other side of the draw, Group C winners New Lusitania and Group C runners-up PenguinLand despatched nominally stiff competition from Devonta and Squornshelous respectively, setting up dates with IAC-7 Cinderellas Reçueçn and hosts Drawkland. So now that we’ve noted the grand irony that is Omerica’s playoff bye and recapped the playoffs in the most insultingly brief manner possible, here’s our picks for who we think will and (more importantly) who we want to see win each of the upcoming quarterfinals.

Drawkland v PenguinLand
Who we think will win: Drawkland
Who we want to see win: PenguinLand
I mean, seeing the Kick Corps kicked out of their own home tournament by plucky underdogs (or is it underbirds?) would be a treat. Furthermore, it would be a huge boost to all the other teams in the tournament to see the backs of the holders, who—from the results on the pitch—look likely to pull off the first successful title defence in IAC history.

However, our rational brains kick in and say “no, the birds won’t pull it off”. The brand of defensive football PenguinLand have played at this tournament is one of the more dour styles on display, but it has been remarkably effective: they’ve only allowed two goals in four games, as opposed to Drawkland’s six in three. The margins have been tight, but winning three of four games is the same whether you win them all by one goal or four. However, against an attacking powerhouse like Drawkland, any defensively-oriented side has to be damn-near perfect to stand a snowball’s chance in hell. With Drawkland pelting goals in as if the world is about to end, PenguinLanders would absolutely be excused for losing their nerves.

If we’re being honest, anything less than a massacre of the PenguinLander goal would be a shock. Quite possibly a pleasant shock, but a shock nevertheless.

Reçueçn v New Lusitania:
Who we think will win: Reçueçn
Who we want to see win: New Lusitania
After Sajnur were robbed of a place in the quarterfinals, the only way to restore justice is to have Reçueçn—who in a fair tournament would have had to contest a playoff—eliminated. Also, I don’t like that combination of the “ç” and “n”. It looks terrible and how the hell are you supposed to pronounce it?

Of course, that just makes it all the more likely that Reçueçn will win. (Do we not pronounce that last “ç”? Do we put a schwa between it and the “n”?) Fate is a soulless monster who loves to see good people suffer and that’s frankly all we need to say about the matter. Reçueçn are undefeated, granted, and that’s not an achievement to be sneezed at, especially when done by a débutante side. Even with an undefeated record, the lustre of IAC-6 semifinalists New Lusitania has worn off this time around, putting up less inspired performances compared to their bronze medal run in Mercedini.

Putting aside the injustice done to Sajnur, which falls firmly on the shoulders of the Drawkian International Sporting Council rather than any team out here, the performances of the Reçuecians have been admirable and it will be interesting to see how far they can go here and in tournaments to come.

Kavagrad v Free Republics
Who we think will win: Kavagrad
Who we want to see win: a meteor
Maybe we’re a bit more partial to the Free Republics for knocking Abanhfleft out, but Kavagrad is nominally the easier semifinal. It took way too many penalties to knock them out at the last IAC, but we did it. And granted, we defeated the Free Republics to advance to the knockout stage, but that was against a second-string side. Kavagrad are still one of Omerica’s bogeymen opponents, while the Free Republics would surely not allow lightning to strike twice.

Kavagrad won their group stage meeting 5–3 and the Republicans made harder work of getting to this stage than they had to, yet the Republicans remain a threatening presence looming over this side of the draw. A knockout match against a team with the depth of the Free Republics is a scary prospect, one that would make even the most battle-hardened manager ever so slightly wee their trousers. Kavagrad, however, are potent Cinderellas who continually prove that nothing will intimidate them and their motivation to improve upon their already miraculous fourth-place finish at the last Independents Cup will push them through to the last four for a second time running.

But whoever wins, it shall be a semifinal that could hardly been more terrifying in nightmares for the Incorrigibles. That is, if they make it there at all…

Omerica v Juvencus
Who we think will win: Juvencus
Who we want to see win: Juvencus
At least if we lose here, we can say we went out to a good team and we don’t have to deal with the pressure of a semifinal against a Free Republican side that could beat us even if all their legs were replaced with prosthetics made of wet noodle or a Kavagradian side we’ve never properly defeated before.

Of all the quarterfinals, this is perhaps the most closely balanced on paper: a Pot 1 team versus a team that just barely missed out on Pot 1 despite being runners-up of the last IAC. A team with a proud tradition of attacking football versus a team that literally call themselves “The Attackers”. The results on the pitch were not bearing out how finely balanced the pairing appeared at first—Omerica outscored Juvencus in the group stage, carted away more than twice as many points and won the head-to-head match-up—but Gli Attaccanti came alive in the last round, thrashing their Sajnurese opposition 6–3.

Juvencus appear to have waken up and the rematch should frighten the Incorrigibles. For Osarians and Acronians, it could be a very special treat: karmic revenge for the events of Burningham and Teach Iarann. Alternatively, it could be an affirmation that Omerica’s recent Independents Cup semifinal and Cup of Harmony quarterfinal performances were no flukes, but that’s less fun for everyone and this is coming from a godforsaken Omerican. ◇

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United Republican Soccer Federation
6 Jacques la Rouge Road
Port Alexandre, AM 18-A40
UNITED REPUBLICS OF OMERICA

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Omerica 1–0 Indusse
Independent Associations Championship 7 — Matchday Three
Kanyo Pitch, Kayo, Drawkland
Goalscorer(s): George Palmeiro 29’
Omerica line-up: Drew Durant; Maria “Jet” Sneyders, Emily Michelakis, Charity Kayode, Marine Roldan; Alex Rodrigues, Sean Tester; George Palmeiro, Robin van Tyn (captain), Martin la Rouge; Jean-François Fernand

Omerica v Juvencus
Independent Associations Championship 7 — Quarterfinals
KayoDome, Kayo, Drawkland
Omerica line-up: Valentine Augustin; Julie Boulos, Aristide de Felice, Jesús Cruz, Fernand Michelakakis; John Soares, Elise Bianchi; Clemente Affini, Red Bolton (captain), Maria Nelissen; Lucky Ashworth

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[Drawkland]

INDEPENDENT ASSOCIATIONS CHAMPIONSHIPS 7
Drawkland - Raikennax and Kayo

Quarterfinals - Results!
My internet is slow and I'm on a time crunch so you don't get to have a cutoff song. Deal with it.

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Quarterfinal Matches

Raikennax
Stad-Stallion
Drawkland 4–2 The PenguinLand*
Reçueçn 1–0 New Lusitania

Kayo
The KayoDome
Kavagrad 3–1 Free Republics
Omerica 4–1 Juvencus

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Semifinal Matches

Raikennax
Matches to be hosted at Castle Stadium

(1) Drawkland vs Reçueçn (2)

Kayo
Matches to be hosted at Kanyo Pitch

(1) Kavagrad vs Omerica (2)

*Scorinated by Qasden

[Omerica]

|national football| |club football| |basketball| |rugby| |volleyball| |lacrosse| |tennis| |cycling| |golf|

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IAC⁷ semifinals: Kavagrad v Omerica, a brief history of a budding rivalry
The Redhearts and Incorrigibles will face off once again for a place in the Independents Cup final

Kayo, Drawkland — Kavagrad and Omerica are a paradox. Despite their significant differences, the two nations are undeniably geopolitical allies and their relationship has been described as “impressively cordial”. Ordinary Kavagraders and Omericans have historically been as cordial to each other as their governments, a phenomenon that impressively trickles down into the passion-fuelled and oft-bitter sport of football.

At this point, there is no way to consider the Redhearts and Incorrigibles anything other than rivals. The two nations are playing at relatively similar standards—Omerica lead Kavagrad in the KPB rankings by a tad short of four-and-a-half points, a margin that will shrink dramatically after Kavagrad’s third qualification campaign—and have regularly met over the past few years, with the upcoming IAC semifinal being the fifth match between the two. Yet not once have the Incorrigibles outright defeated the Redhearts. The Redhearts are insistent on keeping their undefeated record against the Incorrigibles intact and advancing to their first IAC final, while the Incorrigibles want to notch a first-ever win over a Kavagradian team that has thus far always been a danger peering up from behind in the ranks.

Match 1: Omerica 0-1 Kavagrad
World Cup 81 qualification; Azure Stadium, Nassau, Free State
Both teams were coming into this match at perhaps their lowest-ever points. The Incorrigibles had just suffered their two worst qualifying campaigns in history, going into the match with their third manager in less than half a decade, yet were seeded in pot 4 in the qualifying draw. On the other hand, the Redhearts were the new kids on the block, seeded in pot 6 coming off a final 32 exit at the Baptism of Fire tournament—coincidentally the same stage Omerica exited the competition about a quarter-century earlier.

Anne-Sophie Groothuis’s reign was going swimmingly to that point. Despite a crushing 5-2 loss to top seeds Drawkland at home, Omerica were sitting in third place in the group, even with Drawkland and Barunia on points. Kavagrad, meanwhile, were floundering in sixth, six points behind Santa Regada and nine points off the top three. The Redhearts had only scored five goals to that point, while Omerica had bagged sixteen. Going into the match in the Free State, it was almost taken for granted that the Incorrigibles would be victorious and continue their race with Drawkland and Barunia.

The Redhearts had other ideas… The hosts found themselves frustrated at every turn a defensively skilled Kavan side which was seeking to avoid its fifth loss in the competition. Despite creating more chances than their visitors, Omerica could simply not find the back of the net, with Edouard Calvin making two key saves in the 39th and 51st minutes that kept Kavagrad afloat. Against the run of play, Louis-Henri Bonne snagged the winner in added time to steal the win for Kavagrad and put the first knife in the heart of the Incorrigibles’ qualifying dreams.

Meeting 2: Kavagrad 0-0 Omerica
World Cup 81 qualification; De Leon Stadium, Kava-Neva, Kavagrad
By this point, both teams were out of contention for qualification, sitting twelve points behind leaders Barunia and eleven points behind Drawkland in second with just two games to go. The match being irrelevant to either team’s chances, Groothuis opted to field an experimental side for Omerica’s visit to Kava-Neva. The Redhearts, looking to do the double over the Incorrigibles, went unchanged for the match.

Ultimately, Groothuis’s experimental side was no success in the attacking department, nor did Kavagrad create much in the way of credible threats to Valentine Augustin in goal. Édouard Bouchard created the best opportunity of the match, but Calvin made the save look routine, denying Omerica for the whole ninety minutes and earning every bit of his accolade as Player of the Match. The ice ultimately never broke, allowing Natanians and Nosts to jump to third with victory in Shayla.

Despite the draw, the Incorrigibles would get the last laugh: a 3-1 win against Santa Regada, combined with Kavagrad’s scoreless draw in Kedroiqua, meant that Omerica would finish just ahead of Kavagrad in the final table. Kavagrad would slump to fifth place—a respectable finish for a débutante team in the modern, bloated qualification stages—whereas Omerica would finish just one point behind third seeds Natanians and Nosts.

Meeting 3: Kavagrad 3-0 Omerica
Independents Cup 6 group stage; South Down Stadium, Langtree, Mercedini
In stark contrast to the two previous meetings, Kavagrad brought out the attacking knives at the Independents Cup. Ian Wissa came in to replace Alex-Louis Valentine and drastically overhauled the Kavan lineup, most notably bringing in Moses Maxwell Diaby as a playmaker. The importance of the match was not underestimated on either side: with both predicting wins against Hot Skitty on Wailord Action and losses to World Cup bronze medallists Free Republics, victory was essential to pass through the groups. The opening matches went as predicted, with Omerica scoring a narrow win over the Hot Skittys and Kavagrad defeated convincingly by the Free Republics.

Nonetheless, Kavagrad were ready to bounce back and pounced upon an overconfident Omerica when Julie Boulos scuffed a routine clearance; Bonne put the ball in the back of Acardi’s net to put the Redhearts ahead inside twenty minutes. The underdogs did not let up on the pressure, continuing to frustrate the Omerican midfield and batter the Omerican defensive line, but could not extend their lead before the halftime whistle. The second half would be better for the Incorrigbles, but the scoreline showed otherwise, as Diaby’s impressive overhead kick and Bonne’s perfectly set-up eight-metre shot put the match out reach.

The battering brought anxiety to the fore in the Omerican camp, who feared the sixth IAC would be naught but another chapter in the infamous “Curse of Kilkenny”. The Incorrigibles had to defeat one of the tournament favourites to advance, but a win over the Free Republics started one of the best runs Omerica have ever enjoyed and set up a grudge match to come.

Meeting 4: Omerica 1-1 Kavagrad aet (8-7 p)
Independents Cup 6 semifinals; FLR Stadium, Langtree, Mercedini
By this point, the Redhearts had firmly overturned the expectations of the rankings and were the favourites of the bookies to advance to the IAC final. Omerica may have been the only team to win their quarterfinal in 90 minutes, but Kavagrad had managed to despatch the most threatening team left on the Langtree side of the draw—Abanhfleft—and were not ready to give their blue-clad opponents an inch.

Seven minutes in, it appeared the semifinal would be more of the same: Moses Diaby had come centimetres away from breaking the ice. It wasn’t until Diaby intercepted a pass meant for John Soares that Kavagrad could find a route to score, with Bonne putting the Redhearts on the board in just under a half-hour. Luckily escaping the first half without conceding a penalty—something which nearly happened thanks to Jesús Cruz’s takedown of Benjamin Mumuni—Omerica were able to take control in the second, winning a corner kick inside eight minutes, an opportunity to equalise that captain Red Bolton capitalised on. Deadlock began: neither side could finish off their chances, culminating in Calvin’s save of Morgan Barzetti’s last-minute penalty.

The match would be decided via a penalty shootout, with penalty specialist Will Rake replacing Acardi on the Omerican side. Despite Elise Bianchi punting Omerica’s first kick into the sky, Rake’s saves of Kyle Keelie and James Smith-Brown’s kicks gave Omerica their first taste of penalty glory after previous defeats to Abanhfleft and “Gregoryisgodistan”. In the end, though, both sides would fall on the losing end of their last games. For Kavagrad, a 2-0 at the hands of New Lusitania denied them the bronze. And for Omerica, the penalty fortune reversed, leaving Drawkland to finally lift the Independents Cup.

Meeting 5: Kavagrad ?-? Omerica
Independents Cup 7 semifinals; Kanyo Pitch, Kayo, Drawkland
Now the teams meet again in an Independents Cup semifinal, with holders Drawkland and débutantes Reçueçn looming on the other side of the draw. Unlike last time, the two did not face off in the group stage. The Redhearts and Incorrigibles both went undefeated in the group stage, going through directly to quarterfinals they would win handily, even despite Omerica losing Lucky Ashworth to injury.

History, however brief it may be, looms large over this semifinal. Despite falling to Omerica on penalties, Kavagrad remain undefeated against their blue-clad rivals according to the statistical conventions of football. Kavagrad will not want to suffer that same fate here, though, determined to improve upon their fourth-place finish in Mercedini. Omerica are likewise hungry to improve upon their finish in Mercedini and will be hungry to notch their first-ever victory over Kavagrad to enable that.

No matter the outcome, the perfect run will have to fall for at least one of them, if not both. And no matter the outcome, two fiercely competitive sides will await them in their last matches in Drawkland.⚜️

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For your reading pleasure
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▶ Sûreté Nord-Provençal: Carthagène man was killed by a priest over a fast food order mix-up
▶ Defence minister’s bizarre Twii.tur: “Our military risks ‘irrelevance’ if it ends up in soccer net”

United Republican Soccer Federation
6 Jacques la Rouge Road
Port Alexandre, AM 18-A40
UNITED REPUBLICS OF OMERICA

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Omerica 4–1 Juvencus
Independent Associations Championship 7 — Quarterfinals
KayoDome, Kayo, Drawkland
Goalscorer(s): Clemente Affini 20’ 48’, Red Bolton 35’ (p), John Soares 73’; Patxi Etxeberria 57’
Omerica line-up: Valentine Augustin; Julie Boulos, Aristide de Felice, Jesús Cruz, Fernand Michelakakis; John Soares, Elise Bianchi; Clemente Affini, Red Bolton (captain), Maria Nelissen; Lucky Ashworth (+)
Substitutions: Ashworth > Édouard Bouchard (33’), Michelakakis > Marine Roldan (58’), Bianchi > Sean Tester (79’)

Kavagrad v Omerica
Independent Associations Championship 7 — Semifinals
Kanyo Pitch, Kayo, Drawkland
Omerica line-up: Valentine Augustin; Julie Boulos, Aristide de Felice, Jesús Cruz, Fernand Michelakakis; John Soares, Elise Bianchi; Clemente Affini, Red Bolton (captain), Maria Nelissen; Édouard Bouchard

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[Recuecn]

After their 1-0 defeat of New Lusitania, a few members of the Reçuecian national football team are at a panel in Raikennax. From left to right, we have Emanuele Cutrona, #13, sweeper; Gerauld Firaut, Reçueçn’s star goalie; Luc Pélissier, #6, midfielder; “Franky” Adams, #10, forward. Most reporters present in the audience represent Reçuecian news sources.

Gerauld, team captain, was finishing up a brief statement that he’d been given by Tremblay, his coach. It ended: “I regret being unable to attend the press conference this afternoon, but I’m glad the team has this opportunity to present itself and interact with the public, something we’ve been largely lacking in the past. I’m very proud of what they’ve accomplished so far, and I have much confidence that they will continue in that vein moving forward.”

Gerauld put down the piece of paper and looked up. “I’d like to extend my own apologies for Coach Tremblay’s absence, but I’m also very excited for this opportunity to speak with you as players. So with that, I’ll open it up for questions.”

A reporter in the front row raised her hand holding a pen, and in response to Gerauld’s recognition, posed her question: “Even watching the four of you walk in here today, everyone can tell that your attitude as a team has changed since the beginning of the tournament. You’re smiling more, you all have this air of confidence about you, and even press conferences like this one are something that we didn’t expect to see much of coming into this tournament. Could you explain how that shift in mentality happened for you?”

“Yeah, sure,” Gerauld answered. “I think the confidence is a natural thing that just comes with all the success we’ve been having. Obviously we’re still undefeated, which is totally wonderful, but I don’t think it’s something anybody really expected of us going in, and it’s surprised us as well.” Franky and Emanuele were nodding along. “So of course our performances have boosted our confidence, and then that attitude has boosted our playing—it’s a very happy cycle.”

Franky jumped in. “Yeah, I think it’s incredible that we’ve been able to come into this tournament totally unranked and do what we’ve done after Reçueçn’s been off the stage of world football for so long. So both parts of that factor into our bonding as a team—it’s tough to mesh with people you haven’t played with in years, but when you see them defeat some of the bigger names in the tournament—that’s really something.” His teammates grunted in assent.

A journalist in the back of the room stood and asked a question. “Talk to me a little about the age of the team. You’ve got a very young team—the average age is about twenty-six years old, but there’s some key players who are very young—Franky, you’re not even twenty years old yet. How do you think that affects the team, especially when you’re being coached by a septuagenarian?”

Franky responded without missing a beat. “I think it’s a total asset. I love being one of the younger players on the team, watching and learning from some of the older guys, and I think that’s a real strength for the team—the younger players give it that energy. I think that’s both in their attitude, and literal energy you see on the pitch. And I don’t think that really distances us from Jacques, either,” he added, referring to his coach. He’s one of the biggest names, maybe the biggest name in Reçuecian football, and it’s really an honor for all of us, I think—” he looked around at his teammates—“to have him for a mentor and a coach. I think you can just look at his achievements with Associated Savoie for proof, and he’s still got that touch.”

Luc decided to add on to the conversation. “Obviously, I’m not one of those younger players, but I think that one of the most exciting things is that a lot of our stronger players are still very young. And for me, that means that Reçueçn has a lot of good football ahead of it, as they continue to play the game and improve.”

Nodding in agreement, Gerauld looked around the room for the next question. He gestured to another reporter.

“It’s already been mentioned how well you are doing. I don’t want to take away from that—congratulations.”

Franky grinned. “Thanks.”

The reporter continued. “I want to ask, though, about the things that haven’t gone as well. What about, for example, the situation where the RNFA published the wrong roster for the tournament? No one’s really been talking about that.”

The guys looked at each other. “I can take this one,” said Gerauld. “I don’t think it’s really had a big effect at all. As you said, no one’s really been talking about it or making a big deal out of it. And I don’t know, people were saying it’s a bad sign that your association messes up something so basic, but I have full faith in the association, and what does it matter really if they get all are ages wrong?”

Emanuele interrupted. “They didn’t get my age wrong.” He grinned.

Gerauld continued. “Obviously it’s a shame they left Raoul off the roster—the first couple of games when coach Tremblay put him on he played really well. And yeah, Clint’s been retired for years now. But I think most of our fans know who’s on the team, it’s just people from other countries following the tournament that might be confused by the mistakes in the official publications. So, yeah, I guess it’s a bit disappointing, but if that’s the biggest thing that goes wrong in the entire tournament, I say we’re doing pretty well.” Franky nodded in agreement.

“How does it feel to know that you’re going to go all the way in this tournament?” asked another attendee. “Does it change your mentality knowing that win or lose, you’ve got two more games to play?”

“Not really,” Franky said. “I don’t think we’ve always been the best at this, but we try to go into every game with the same attitude, which is just to play our very best. Obviously, it’s great that we’re guaranteed at least fourth place now, and we’re really excited to have made it this far, but the goal is to win first, not fourth. So we want to just continue to give the game our all—it’s about the passion of the game, but also the joy of the game. And we’ve been having a great time here.”

Gerauld had waited for Franky to finish, but now he offered a counterpoint. “I think, unfortunately, that’s not necessarily true—the part about having the same attitude every game, I mean. The team’s élan has taken serious hits in the past when things haven’t been going well, and now that things are going well, it directly translates into higher morale. So knowing that we’ve already clinched a spot in the top four does affect us—I think it’s a big encouragement for the boys.” Franky frowned at Gerauld. It was evident he didn’t like having his parade rained on like this. A couple cameras flashed, and his frown evaporated. Turning back to the room as if to shake it off, he called on another reporter.

“What do you think your success here in Drawkland means for the game back home? Clearly you’ve made your fans very happy that you’ve made it this far, and as everyone keeps saying, it’s been a very impressive run that really came out of nowhere. But when you go back to league play, with the next season of the RNFL starting up, what will you be taking away from this?”

Franky answered once more. “That’s a great question. I think the whole team is taking away a lot of experience, and that’s experience that helps us grow as a team, but also that we’ll be able to bring back with us and build on as we return to our own teams. I think some of the bigger names in the First League, like Association Genève and Reçueçn FC, who are very well represented on the team, will particularly benefit. They get more attention to their players, and they have more players on the team who are gaining experience competing against tough, international opponents. And that’s really wonderful.” He smiled. “That’s helping close the gap between teams like Geneva, and famous clubs from all around the world.”

Luc shifted uncomfortably in his seat before joining in. “In my opinion, what our team really shows is that even players from teams with lower rankings, goodness, even from teams in the lower tier, still have a lot to offer. The league’s still young, there’s only been a handful of winners. Not every team can win all at once. I guess where I’m going with this is that the vast majority of the players on the team come from clubs that haven’t been wildly successful in the RNFL, but that’s not a bad thing. Players like me come from a whole slew of teams with different backgrounds, and that diversity brings strength to the team. I think, if anything, there’s too many players from clubs like Genève and Reçueçn—if we wanted to watch them play, we could just watch la Classique.” The tone of his voice had taken a sudden edge to it. Franky fired back.

“You guys from Second League teams are lucky that you get to train with guys from the top, guys like Jacques. If anything, having some guys who are from the same club means there’s a benefit to moral. They already know each other, know each other’s styles, they know how to play off each other… it helps the whole team mesh better.”

“Putain de mensonge. Luc interrupted with a curse. “That’s a damn lie and you know it. You guys have the biggest rivalry in Reçueçn. It’s always two little cliques in the locker-room, Genève and Reçueçn. You hardly used to talk to Gerauld. It’s all the guys from the little teams can do to keep you guys off each other.”

Tension filled the room as the discussion grew more heated. The journalists watched breathlessly. Gerauld, at the mention of his name, looked down at his hands, as if to say, ‘I’m not part of this.’ The only one who seemed oblivious to the awkwardness was Emanuele, who dove into it headfirst, laughing.

“You’re just saying that cause you’re jealous! Stuck with a contract for what, the worst team in the country, and now that they let you go for causing trouble, even with the national team on your résumé, no one will take you!” Emanuele chortled. He didn’t appear to express nearly as much ill will as his words carried—it almost seemed like he thought it was a roast. A quick thinking reporter grabbed the opportunity to turn the situation around on him in an attempt to break the awkwardness.

“What about you—rumors were flying at the beginning of the tournament that you and Franky weren’t getting along—I mean, we saw it on your twitter even. What do you have to say about such an unprofessional display, and what was it that changed? You seem to be getting along swimmingly now.”

The question didn’t seem to bother Emanuele. “I mean, yeah, sure, we’ve had our differences. But that’s behind us now. We’re moving forward, and I think just having had the opportunity to play some great football together has really brought us together.” He leaned forward to see past Gerauld and smiled at Franky. Franky smiled too and reached behind to pat him on the shoulder. The friendly, we-are-winning-so-why-fight attitude had returned. Gerauld was the only one who let a wrinkle of concern remain on his brow. Emanuele and Franky had never really addressed the past tension between them—they’d just started getting along. He was worried that another awkward question from a reporter might dig up the hatchet again. He took the chance to direct the conversation.

“Any other questions about the tournament?”

The lady in the front row raised her hand again. “How has it been being here in Drawkland?”

All four players were instantly all smiles. “Oh, it’s been wonderful,” said Gerauld. “The fans here have been immensely supportive, which has been so great, especially for a small side like us where it’s hard for a lot of our fans to make it here. Having support from the people here has really been a treat, and the format of the tournament has been easy on us too. I don’t mean the bye—I mean just being able to play all our games in the same city, in the same stadium even, most of the time. I’m sure you’ve all noticed that the whole team really built a connection with Stad-Stallion. We love that place. I hope we can come back and play there again sometime.”

Franky was goofing off now, imitating a rearing horse. The journalists laughed. “One last question?” Gerauld offered.

A Drawkish reporter got the last word. “As a follow-up to that last question, how does each of you feel about your next game? You’ll be playing the home team, so you won’t have that same level of neutral-party support you just mentioned, and they’re now the highest ranked team in the tournament. Do you think you can beat Drawkland, playing on their own turf?”

Emanuele had a confident grin. “It’s going to be hard, but we can do it.”

Gerauld nodded reservedly. “It’ll be tough for sure, but if we can go out and keep doing what we’ve been doing, we can take them.”

Franky fired off finger guns at the reporter who had asked the question. “I’m excited for the challenge. Drawkland, watch out.”

Luc jutted out his chin and pointed a thumb at his chest. “We’re ready.”