WC 82 RP Thread

by **Jeruselem** » Tue Apr 09, 2019 4:41 pm

Princess Chloe, Jon Snow, the Queen and the young child crown prince was looking at a bed with the King of Jeruselem hooked up to machine. The heartbeat indicator was flatlining, the King had an aggresive cancer which refused to be killed. Modern medicine had bought him time but in the end his immune system had collapsed. Everyone knew he was on borrowed time. The succession had been planned but the King didn't want to name his successor until his death.

The Archbishop of Jeruselem came into the room to perform the last rites. All was quiet when the Archbishop of Jeruselem left the room and passed Chloe, sticking something on her head. Everyone looked at her, Chloe looked puzzled. Chloe looked at the thing on her head, she realised she was officially "Queen Chloe I of Jeruselem".

by **South Covello** » Tue Apr 09, 2019 4:54 pm

SoCo Goes Loco: A Soccer Podcast

Bozo Bryant: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen and united coconuts of freedom, we're coming to you live from Apox, a land of wonder and dwile flonking, which contrary to popular belief is not in fact a sexual sport but rather a non-sexual one. And we're here to bring you SoCo Goes Loco, the best soccer podcast in all of South Covello. I'm Bozo Bryant, and I'm with Jason St. Pierre and Shawn Burst, and we're going to cover the match that just ended against The Holy Empire before we preview our upcoming match against Jeruselem and their naked ladies who claim to be princesses.

Shawn Burst: Well, what a game it was, South Covello won 1-0 yet again, and Coconut Charles scored that one goal yet again. Where would we be without him? Where would we be indeed?

Jason St. Pierre: Yep, the game got off to a blazing start. Four minutes in, The Limerick Writing Elf sent in a shot from just outside the 18 yard box, Matthew Tyler made a diving block, and although there were three of the Empire's players in the area, somehow Paul Paul got there first and cleared it all the way down to midfield. Henry Ocho then chased it down and ran down the flank before sending a brilliant cross into the box for Coconut Charles, who was marked only by Grunthos the Flatulent, who has a much longer name that we're not going to say because we're lazy.

Shawn Burst: So anyway, Grunthos tried to win the ball, but couldn't, and old Coconut shot past him and past the goalie to give the Rebs a 1-0 lead in the fifth minute on a beautiful counterattack. We may not have much offense, but when you give us the chance, we'll lead a strong counter. And yeah, I know the Frosty Chocolate Milkshakes like playing attacking soccer, but you've got to leave people back, you can't give us that chance, especially so early, or it's not going to work.

Bozo Bryant: And in fairness, Juan Tzimisces did seem to learn from his mistakes, and the Frosties wouldn't give up another goal the rest of the game, but their offense wasn't all that great either.

Jason St. Pierre: Yeah, one of the best attacking teams in the Multiverse only managed five shots, and just two on goal including the early one by Grunthos.

Shawn Burst: And if you're a Frosty fan, you've got to be disappointed in that effort, don't you think?

Bozo Bryant: But what kind of a name is Frosty anyway? That's like a milkshake. Are they milkshakes?

Shawn Burst: Yes, they're frosty chocolate milkshakes, remember, Bozo?

Jason St. Pierre: Given all the odd teams they've had over the years, I wonder if they ever had actual frosty milkshakes. That would be cool?

Bozo Bryants: Bunnies love milkshakes, isn't that right?

Jason St. Pierre: No, that's carrots, Bozo. It's carrots. Bunnies eat carrots.

Bozo Bryant: But if you gave a fluffy bunny a milkshake, it would drink it?

Jason St. Pierre: I guess so, yes. Probably. And then it would eat you too.

Bozo Bryant: But I don't taste good.

Shawn Burst: I don't want to know how you know that.

Jason St. Pierre: SoCo Goes Loco, The Soccer and Autocannibalism Podcast, everybody.

Bozo Bryant: Well, we've got to focus some more. South Covello only managed five shots in this game, and just three on goal, but it was enough, we won 1-0. And now we're sitting on six points, top of the group, needing only a draw against minnows Jeruselem to seal advancement.

Jason St. Pierre: Is that right? No, I think we're through already, The Holy Empire and Mriin can't both win, they play each other!

Bozo Bryant: Yep, I guess this press release is incomplete, we are in fact through. But we'd love to finish top of the group, wouldn't we? So let's go out and beat the naked ones of Jeruselem.

Shawn Burst: The athletes aren't naked, just everyone else.

Jason St. Pierre: I actually requested on the media credential form that they seat me next to the correspondents from Naked News, but we'll see if they actually grant that request.

Bozo Bryant: Yeah, we'll just have to get there and check the seating assignments once they post them in the media room.

Shawn Burst: I don't know if they grant requests like that, would be nice if they did, though.

Bozo Bryant: But before we get to the second part of our show, to preview the Jeruselem match, we need to read a word from our sponsors. SoCo Goes Loco is brought to you by Buy-a-Balloon, the official balloon supplier of our podcast. And hey, Jason, we have a surprise for you, it's your birthday today, right?

Jason St. Pierre: It is my birthday today!

Bozo Bryant: So we got you a Buy-a-Balloon Birthday Balloon Bouquet!

Jason St. Pierre: It's everything I ever wanted. Why, there are balloons here that spell out my name, there's one with a soccer ball, there's one of a pizza, I love pizza, and some of wings, I love wings, and one of my favorite drink from Cocoabo, who is not our sponsor so I will not name the drink unless they pay us money to read their ads, and then there are just fancy colored ones. I guess there are about 78 different colors here.

Shawn Burst: You're close, there are 96, all 96 colors that Buy-a-Balloon offers. Of course, there are balloons for every budget, but we got the very best for you.

Bozo Bryant: Mainly because they paid us to.

Jason St. Pierre: Gee, thanks, guys.

Bozo Bryant: Well, now we move on to the next part of our show, the Jeruselem team who is our next opponent. And contrary to popular belief, their players will play fully clothed.

Shawn Burst: Yeah, it's only the princesses and Naked News who are naked.

Jason St. Pierre: So unsurprisingly, Jeruselem's nickname is The Princesses, this despite the fact that some of them are male.

Bozo Bryant: Well, we don't judge here. If a guy wants to be a princess, I say let him.

Shawn Burst: Sure, why not? We're very accepting here at SoCo Goes Loco.

Jason St. Pierre: Yeah, we may judge you for being a fan of a rival team, but not for things like that, just be you.

Bozo Bryant: I don't think they're actually transgender princesses, though, or they'd have female names and pronouns.

Shawn Burst: Ever notice how "princes" is the only word in the English language that goes from male to female and plural to singular when you add an s to the end?

Bozo Bryant: Wow, that's amazing!

Jason St. Pierre: So, they do have a stripper by the name of Lady Dada, who is apparently Stripper of the Year, but she will not be stripping for this game, she will be fully clothed.

Bozo Bryant: Yeah, stripping earns you one yellow card for each article of clothing you take off.

Shawn Burst: So like reverse strip poker?

Bozo Bryant: Not really.

Jason St. Pierre: Can we focus, guys? Please? We're running out of time. So apparently they have porn stars as well, and so this should be a fun game. Maybe they'll be naked with Naked News in the postgame press conference.

Bozo Bryant: Get your mind out of the gutter, Jason!

Fire Alarm: BEEP BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP BEEP!

Jason St. Pierre: Aww nuts, it seems some idiot in our recording studio has pulled the fire alarm. I hear they're recording some controversial podcast in another studio in this building right now, must be protesters. Aww shucks, we've got to evacuate. This podcast is over! Good night!

Bozo Bryant: Hold on, before we leave this building, we've got late breaking news. Princess Chloe of Jeruselem is now Queen Chloe of Jeruselem! And she may be naked in our press box! Naked queen now! Sweet!

Building Security: You guys need to clear out, NOW.

Bozo Bryant: We're going, we're going!

Fire alarm continues to blare in background as the hosts forgot to shut off the recording equipment

by **Mriin** » Tue Apr 09, 2019 5:26 pm

Of Trials and Triumphs
by Maas Halder, "inspired" by some Imperial "poetry" he somehow managed to "acquire"

The World Cup, it is long
With many a frightful night.
Our record, it must wrong,
For it makes a terrible sight.

But all is not lost,
As we play with aplomb.
When the ball is crossed,
Solara can sink it so calm.

Four-one! Four-one!
We're in the points!
Four-one! Four-one!
Tuzzio looks like a dunce!

Our defense is in shambles,
Even by my own hand.
When we concede with no wax on the candles,
It's so on brand.

Undone by a coconut,
A most embarrassing fate.
It was such a punch in the gut
I'd need a bottle of Kaopectate.

Four-one! Four-one!
The Princesses are down!
Four-one! Four-one!
A Queen is given her crown!

And so we march forth,
Across the land of Apox!
To finally find a berth,
We'll need to hammer the box!

The Imperials have come to play,
Or perhaps to write one?
But they better pray,
Or we'll make sure they're done!

Four-one! Four-one!
That's what we'll say!
Four-one! Four-one!
When we have our day!

by **Equestrian States** » Tue Apr 09, 2019 6:00 pm

Low Expectations
The Realistic Fan Site for Equestrian States Sports

Our Little Ponies Lose to Towering Vilita, Foreshadowing Impending Implosion
by Downtrodden Crankyface

Let's be honest, here, folks, the last two cycles have been unusually kind to the Equestrian States. A Cup of Harmony quarterfinal run that was the first time the Ponies had ever advanced past the second round of a WCC-sanctioned tournament, three AOCAF Cup knockout berths (including a fourth-place finish in Mriin last year), and two World Cup quarterfinals appearances. Never before have the Equestrians had such a consistent run of success in international tournaments. Frankly, it's been too good to be true, and it's going to come to an end sooner or later. Personally, I'd bet on it ending sooner, much sooner; as in, within-the-next-week soon.

Yes, the Ponies opened up the World Cup finals with a "commanding" win against Mercedini, but that was clearly more thanks to the Golden Eagles being a bunch of bungling chokers than the Ponies being an actually good team. Against top-ranked Vilita, I predicted a 6-0 thrashing for the Equestrians, and I wasn't that far off. If not for a few half-decent saves from the only player on the Equestrian roster with any semblance of quality (goalkeeper Gentle Breeze) and a momentary defensive lapse from the Jungle Cats, the final score would've been way, way worse and totally in-line with my prediction.

In fact, the Vilitans' game-winner was the exact sort of goal that I expect many more teams will be scoring against the Ponies in the coming years: a header. Taking advantage of their immense advantage in height, Enzoril Alabonni rose above the much shorter Equestrian players to beat Gentle Breeze to the ball and head it into the net.

As most of my readers are well aware, ponies just aren't that tall on average compared to the typical human "footballer" (to borrow those lanky hairless apes' word for the sport of hoofball). Sure, if ponies stand on their hindlegs, they're not that much shorter than most humans, but we spend probably 99% of the time with all four legs planted firmly on the ground. Well, except for pegasi, I guess, but you know what I'm talking about here. Personally, I'd expect every team in the multiverse to take advantage of their generally superior height in future matches against the Ponies, playing whatever tall players they have on-hand to win as many aerial battles as possible. Sure, those pegasi and griffons will use their wings to close that advantage a bit, but unicorns, earth ponies, and others will be shit outta luck.

Obviously, Juvencus' staff will seize on this advantage to win against the Equestrians next week and send the Ponies out of the World Cup in the group stage, as we all expected. From there, it should be a quick fall from grace for the Equestrians as they fail to qualify for the next World Cup thanks to goals scored on headers, and return to underperforming in the Cup of Harmony like we've been used to for much of the Equestrian States' unimpressive history in the game. It's just a matter of time, folks, so you might as well brace yourselves mentally for the crushing disappointment that is the natural state of mind of a Ponies supporter.

Downtrodden Crankyface's edit: After a bit of thought, I do have an idea for how the Equestrian States can avoid such a fate in future tournaments: minotaurs. There's a small community of minotaurs in Equestria, and if Pearly White starts calling more than one or two of them into the squad at a time, I do think they could turn the height disadvantage into a strength for the Equestrians. Freeporter defender Bloodblade, for example, is over two meters tall. With players like that in the team, there'd be no chance of any human side ever having the height advantage again. Alternatively, recruiting fully-grown dragons instead of the usual adolescents to play hoofball would also work, though - given their monstrous sizes - some of those foreign whiners might complain about how "they're too big to fit on the pitch" or "they might accidentally crush and/or impale our players with their claws." I'd recommend the Hoofball Association disregard such objections and immediately field a team of eleven of them. Sure they might make the pitch a tad bit crowded, but that's not really our problem, is it?

OOC Note: It's best to OOCly disregard whatever poor Downtrodden Crankyface says as the grumbling of a perpetually-pessimistic (and sometimes xenophobic) Ponies fan. The blog is not remotely popular within Equestria, as most Ponies supporters have long since grown tired of his overly-depressing predictions of doom and gloom.

World Cup 81/82/83/84

Forward Progress—90 minutes from another match.
by Frank Armitage
The Daily Mail Chief Soccer Writer

Reporting from Dwile, Apox:

During the qualifiers for the 82nd World Cup, the Commonwealth National Team produced 41 goals over the 18 match schedule, with a large proportion of those tallies coming via midfield players. However, a change has occurred since the squad have arrived in Apox, in that forwards have finally found their scoring touch.

In the first two matches in Exton, 6 of the 7 goals Baker Park have put in the back of the net have come from front line positions, Annabeth Westmoreland's goal in the 5-1 win over Bongo Johnson the only exception.

The renewed firepower has come at the right moment, as BP needs only a draw to qualify for the knockout stages for the second straight tournament; they face the hosts at the APX Stadium in Dwile, clearly in control of their own destiny, while Bongo Johnson face off against the Free Republics.

As it stands, it would take a turnaround of epic scale for the Commonwealth not to advance, as they have the advantage of a +4 goal difference as well as being the highest scoring team in the Finals through two matchdays.

Apox secured their place in the last 16 with a 3-0 win over FFR, which has given them maximum points, and Baker Park will join them even with a loss if they do not squander the cushion they have in the tie breakers. A BP victory would see them leap above their opponent into the top of the Group A table.

When asked if he would play from the start for the victory, Manager Trevor Richmond was emphatic, "Absolutely. You can lose momentum quickly in a short tourney like this, and we want to maintain a good carryover into whatever next match we might have."

On the lineup for this match, he had this to say: "We'll stay with Mollie for this match, and go back to most of the lineup from the first game. Emily Arnold will start for Derek (Briggs) and AB will stay in while Erica (Shaw) will slide into the right side of the middle. It's hard for us to get those two on the pitch at the same time, and this seems like a good place to work it in. They're very similar, but they also complement one another really well, too. "

lineup vs Apox: Pelletier; Arnold, D Haller, Enzikomibo; Santos, Westmoreland, Shaw, Whitestone; Bozeman; Ashcroft (C), Agahambri

by **Vilita** » Tue Apr 09, 2019 6:31 pm

Vilaye Energy Drink Headquarters, Vilisorma, Vilita :: The Vilisorma Beverage Company has announced that their well-received "Cans for Life" promotion will return for World Cup 82. The contest, which Vilisorma ran previously during the World Cup 81 Finals to promote their Vilaye Energy Drink brand, was originally marketed as the "Cans for All" promotion which allowed fans from around the multiverse to submit their nation to be featured on Vilaye Energy Drink cans along side the 32 nations competing in the World Cup Finals which had already been represented on the special edition World Cup 81 Cans. There was something in it for the winning fans, as well, as each fan submission would also be entered to win a full set of Vilaye Nation Cans including the full 33 Can World Cup 81 Set in addition to the 7 winning entries to the Cans for All competition for a total of 40 special edition commemorative cans.

While fans certainly were quick to stuff the ballots in support of their nation, particularly those from nations that were not already represented on the commemorative cans as participants in the World Cup 81 Finals, there wasn't a huge amount of motivation for the average consumer to enter the competition. Sure, everyone loves a free case of beverages but the 'big prize' wasn't really all that big in the end. That was, until the Vilisorma Beverage Company announced the second phase of their Cans promotion, deemed "Cans for Life". Whether it was planned from the start or just the result of marketing correction after a slow start to their Cans for All promotion, the Vilisorma Beverage Company announced that they had hid 3 special Golden Cans inside randomly distributed packages of Vilaye Energy Drink and, if found, Each golden can would be eligible to be redeemed as a Grand Prize winner in the "Cans for Life" Sweepstakes for a "lifetime supply of Vilaye Energy Drink". While the definition of "Lifetime supply" had some caveats - 20 cans per month for up to fifty years, the contest also had a "Lump Sum" option of 2000 Cans of Vilaye Energy Drink delivered at once, or, the monetary equivalent at the bulk purchase rate for 2000 cans of Vilaye Energy Drink payable by check - basically a monetary prize that opened the competition up to everyone - not just quirky collectors or high-strung gamers looking for a free supply of energy boosting supplements.

While the Golden Can promotion caused a stir on twii.tur, the number of 'false alarm' winners had both positive and negative impacts on the campaign and as a result, the marketing department at the Vilisorma Beverage Company decided to change things up for their World Cup 82 marketing campaign.

Instead of holding separate Cans for Life and Cans for All promotions, there would just be a single "Cans for Life" promotion. Throughout the group stage matches of the World Cup Finals in Valanora and Apox, any fan who stopped by a Vilaye Energy Drink tasting booth at an official World Cup Finals venue or fan-zone would have the opportunity to enter the Cans for Life Contest. At the conclusion of the group stage, sixteen fans would be chosen and randomly paired with one World Cup 82 Knockout Round qualified nation. From that point forth, no matter what nation the contestant called home, they would have a new team to root for as the winner of the Cans for Life promotion would be the contestant who was paired with the eventual World Cup 82 Champion.

Stop by the Vilaye Energy Drink Booth at the WC82 Finals or Purchase specially marked Commemorative Vilaye Energy Drink products to Enter the "Cans for Life" Contest

WC82 Group B Commemorative Cans

WC82 Group E Commemorative Cans

The other fifteen non-winning contestants would receive the consolation prize including the commemorative cans of all 32 World Cup 82 Finals competing nations. In addition to those fans directly attending official World Cup Finals sanctioned events, fans at home would also get a chance to enter the competition with eligible purchases of World Cup 82 Commemorative cans including a special bar code that could be scanned with a communication device to enter into a second drawing that would result in one additional Cans for Life winner for a total of 2 Cans for Life winners and 30 Cans for All winners. In addition to the main competition winners, fans scanning purchased cans to enter the contest may receive other assorted coupons and discounts towards the future purchase of Vilaye Energy Drink and other Vilisorma Beverage Company products.

Vilaye Energy Drink is typically sold as single cans, in four-packs, in 12-packs and in bulk packaging. For the first time, the Vilisorma Beverage Company is taking advantage of the four-pack model to sell special 'Group Packs' allowing fans to purchase at select retailers a four-pack of Vilaye Energy Drink containing all four teams from a specific World Cup Group. While this special packaging is limited release only due to the time-to-destination and additional packaging burden of the special sort, the Vilisorma Beverage Company did increase their production of two specific four packs based on predictions of their high demand. Naturally, the first of those Groups would be Group B, the group that contains the defending World Cup Champion, home of the Vilisorma Beverage Company and its highest grossing market - the Tropics of Vilita. The other would be Group E; containing one World Cup Host - Valanora, Group E on its own contains more World Cup Finals appearances than likely the rest of the World Cup Finalists combined - and that is just the ones that Jeremy Jaffacake's teams had lost. With three Atlantian Oceania based teams representing twelve former World Cup titles the special Group E packages were expected to rival any other pack in terms of sales, even the Group B package containing the Tropics of Vilita - and all that considering that Vilaye Energy Drink is not even sold in Nova Anglicana, 'the other' competing nation in the World Cup's Group E.

While each special four pack contains a unique entry code towards the Cans for Life contest, entry by purchase can only be done through scanning the code on a communication device and as such there is a limit to one entry per person per device. While no purchase is necessary to enter, those not purchasing Vilaye Energy Drink must either visit an official Vilaye Energy Drink display at the World Cup 82 Finals, or, visit the Vilisorma Beverage Company headquarters in Vilisorma, Vilita to enter the contest in person.

Last.fm · by **Cosumar** » Tue Apr 09, 2019 7:13 pm

The Footy Hour with Sam Jarvela!
Post-match Livestream @ Twii.tur/CosumariteCourier

Sam: Golden evening to all our viewers around the world. This... is the Footy Hour with me, your host, Sam Jarvela! I'm joined by this very special guest to my right, former national team captain and current Sabrefell Athletic assistant manager Ole Öhman. Welcome, Ole!

Ole: Thank you! I wish it were under better circumstances this time, but I'm always happy to join the show. You have a pretty incredible football-viewing setup here at the CSBN.

Sam: I know, I know, we're spoiled. But this studio provides no comforts, Ole, after a match like the one we just watched. Obviously, we're here to break down what just transpired. How did Cosumar lose by such a startling 4-1 margin to Qasden? We know pain, we know heartbreak in the World Cup, but this was just... embarrassing.

Ole: It was. It was a humiliating loss, especially for a team that was feeling so good coming off that opening win against Nephara. Simple things like dealing with crosses, not getting pressure to the ball at midfield, limiting transition opportunities... all these things went out the window. We had the edge in possession percentage - 56% I think - and talent level, but even so, you could argue 4-1 may have actually been slightly generous.

Sam: I think it was at the very least a fair result for Qasden and not the fluke that many will want to dismiss it as. And that's a problem.

Ole: Defending in the box was a huge problem. Everything seemed to fall at a Qad player's foot and we couldn't clear the ball for our lives. Defending out wide was an even bigger problem. They did a great job of exploiting our narrow formation and isolating the fullbacks out wide.

Sam: I was getting flashbacks to World Cup 81's so-called defensive meltdown. Once again, Pakkanen and those guys were getting caught too far forward, unable to bottle up counters or contain the wingers.

Ole: The Qad right winger especially found joy throughout the match.

Sam: So what gives? Yeah yeah, Alexander Pearce made a lot of progress with the team's defensive shape in the AOCAF and stuff, but here on the main stage we succumbed to the same old Achilles' heels.

Ole: I'm a big proponent of Pearce as a man and as a manager, but this just has to fall on his shoulders if Cosumar doesn't rebound on MD3. It's not a question of talent or even of tactics. It's just having the focus to execute simple principles that should really be fundamentals at this level. It's having the mental toughness to handle success and retain that focus. Bad days and bad luck happen, but a persistent lack of this discipline you speak of is usually a telltale sign that a manager no longer has a hold on the players.

Sam: You've played in big games. As a fan, it seems like sometimes the biggest games just seem to slip away from players. Like, the occasion is too much and just sort of passes them by like they aren't fully there. Can you relate to that? Maybe that's all there is to it.

Ole: I mean, there is some truth to that. I've played in games for both Cosumar and Athletic where the moment got into my head and the whole game kinda passed by before I was ever able to settle into it. Hrmmm, but even still, it's on the manager to iron that out of his guys. At this point, we can draw a pattern of these type of performances across the last few cycles. That's problematic.

Sam: Obviously, we aren't out of things yet - there's still one more group game in Apox - but I'm already getting a feeling of "what could've been" after watching tonight's debacle. I think conceding twice so early really hurt us and exacerbated some of those mental struggles you talked about. If we'd managed to survive that torrid first half hour with it still at 0-0, maybe we would've settled down and gone on to win.

Ole: Maybe. The first 10 minutes were pretty open and both teams had a couple good chances. Qasden seized theirs and we didn't, and things just fell apart from there.

Sam: Do you think we got lulled into a false sense of security or naivety after defeating Nephara? Is that why we looked so shellshocked after going down 2-0?

Ole: I think so. Talent usually wins out, but mentality plays so much more of a factor in sport than outsiders realize. Like you said, the Vanquishers just weren't up for it. They were disjointed and ragged, with huge gaps between the lines and no pressure on the ball. Isla Sibučić and Byger Tidesson barely tracked a single runner--

Same: Mhmm, there definitely weren't enough defensive attributes from our "wide" players against a team that emphasizes dynamic wing play on the counter.

Ole: ...And the end result was that poor Shjegrzh Na'Kefir had the pick the ball out of the back of his net four times. And, with the way we were giving the ball away in midfield and unable to slow down the resulting breaks, it could've been more against a higher-ranked team. Qasden were actually wasteful at times.

Sam: So Qasden could've had five our six and we scored our one Valgard penalty goal because of a lucky handball in the box. Yikes.

Ole: Yep. For all the talk about how dire the defense and midfield was, our attacking players didn't offer much either. Admittedly, they weren't put in the best positions to succeed with counters always going the other way, but Valgard and VZR were static in the box. Sibučić and Tidesson were forced to try to take on multiple players at once to create moments of individual brilliance but didn't come up with much.

Sam: ...Which resulted in Pearce ordering the fullbacks even further forward to lend some numerical support.

Ole: Exactly. Which only created more problems because it left Na'Duha and Chaumancer exposed one-on-one.

Sam: How do we fix this? We're on the road to Cawln for one more chance. You're a manager now, how do you handle this situation if you're Alexander Pearce?

Ole: It's a real cliche, but you have to focus on the basics. Hit a hard reset and keep things simple to rebuild that sense of certainty in what you're doing. Matchday 2 is dead-and-buried.

Sam: I agree, you have to emphasize that Matchday 3 is a fresh start and that everything is still there for the taking.

Ole: And it's true. If you're a player in that Cosumarite dressing room, you're eager to get back out there and prove that what we just saw was an aberration.

Sam: We're going to take a quick break and hear from one of our sponsors, Vilaye Energy Drinks - a Vilita favorite! Get your WC82 Commemorative Cans now! When we return, we'll wrap up the Matchday 2 review from Barbury and give you a sneak peak at Tuesday's opponent: old regional rivals 95X. Be right back!

by **95X** » Tue Apr 09, 2019 7:16 pm

A New Leader, a New Direction for 95X
Kaimana Eightysecond knew at a young age she was different from other 95Xers. Born in Cascadia to dark-skinned immigrants, she didn't need statistics to know she was part of the twelve percent of the dark-skinned population of the country.

Like many immigrant families in a nation without any public education whatsoever, Kaimana worked a job and gave the money she made to her parents. It was at this job where bosses realized she had a superior intellectual capacity and she was therefore taught how to read and write, then put into a clerical position.

But Kaimana kept learning, beyond what the company taught her so she could perform her job. She did her best to find ways to learn outside of her job as well. When she reached the young age of 14, she met Xerica Eightysecond, a six-foot tall clerical worker who was trained to become a professional volleyball player but was found to have deficient cartilage in her knees, so she took "the best job she could find". The two became very close friends and later mutually confessed their love to each other. They married at 18, a process that in 95X consists entirely of signing a document. Kaimana took Xerica's last number.

At this point, Kaimana was a manager, yet she refused to turn her back on the employees under her that she once worked with. Nearly fired for offering a hungry employee a bread sandwich, Kaimana mentioned the employee was performing well despite showing up to work hungry every day. She later discovered most of the companies employees barely made enough money to eat, much less have shelter, clothing, or other necessities.

One day, while on a recorded phone line with a supplier she ordered a bulk purchase of nonperishable foods and claimed it was for a "top-secret company project". When the order arrived, she sold them at cost to her employees (she was prohibited from just giving it away, and she ordered the food on a company account). This was the beginning of an idea that turned into Grocery Express, a store in a run-down building adjacent to the factory property.

Word of Grocery Express quickly spread throughout Cascadia, the store made money, the building was fixed up, and employees were happy to work there despite the limited hours of operation dictated because the owners were themselves employees of another company. Kaimana and Xerica had a dilemma: stay at their job, or expand Grocery Express. They picked the latter, and the chain expanded; first Citywide, then across Cascade Island. Despite the low margins and pushback from existing grocery stores, the Eightyseconds became rich.

Kaimana was then asked about her business philosophy:

"I run the business like I would run a country," she said.

When Don W. Pushman went missing, later found to have been charged with exploiting children, Kaimana was a long-shot on a list of potential new leaders for 95X. 95X National Election Corporation was again formed to plan and operate the election, but it wouldn't be held until 95X Year 80.

The other candidates were:

The frontrunner, Paul Lancelot, President and CEO of Lancelot Investments, was a critic of Kaimana Eightysecond. "Nothing is free!" was his campaign slogan, "anything else is socialism!" he also pandered.

Although Xi Foureleven asked that people not vote for her, she would appear on the ballot anyway. "Seriously, if you want to vote for an intelligent yet attractive woman, vote for Kaimana Eightysecond", she begged to concede.

Again rounding out the field was David Westduke, who had no business or managerial experience, citing leadership given by a "higher power". He believed that 95X was wrong for its rejection of "the good book" and as such the populace would be "reconciled" by "a severe correction".

Kaimana Eightysecond 33,615,455 (50.001%)
Paul Lancelot 25,613,792 (38.099%)
Xi Foureleven 8,000,318 (11.9%)
David Westduke 1 (0%)
Total Votes: 67,229,566

by **Valanora** » Tue Apr 09, 2019 7:44 pm

Here Be Dragons

Who will be left hurt?

MD3 cutoff for Groups A-D

by **Starblaydia** » Wed Apr 10, 2019 10:37 am

When the funky supercut of Starblaydia's World Cup 82 journey is finally made, when they bow out of this great tournament and the video editing wizards go through hours upon hours of footage from hundreds of cameras, angles and shots to put it all together and tell the tale of how it felt to be in this moment, this match will probably have a lot to do with it. On the face of it, this was just a team in white playing a team in red, white and black, with the bizarre visual of Valanora playing in their change kits in their own stadium due to Starblaydia being listed as the 'Home' team for these purposes. It wasn't at the Hatire Memorial, so often seen as the main Vanorian home stadium, nor was it the imposing bowl of the White Fortress, or the penned-in cacophony of Hellgate; this was the Battleground, the largest, boldest and freshest design of any of the host nation's football grounds. It was the place where two teams came to play, both needing a win, with only one capable of settling for a draw. Lose and go home, even if you were already there. Audioslavia's place in the Second Round was already assured, and Nova Anglicana's had already been denied, so this was the match to make a decider of Group E.

The Battleground was, predictably, full to its 78,000 capacity, with the vast majority being Vanorian supporters. The deep blue of the Vanorian kit was everywhere, interspersed with the red and white hoops of the change kit. One corner of the stadium was fully white and purple to compensate, however, and the Starblaydi crowd knew just how loud they needed to be. They brought flags declaring their Starblaydi allegiance with names of small towns and cities from right around the country, waved enormous flags with depictions of Simeone Di Bradini, Ázëwyn Fëanáro and a host of banners, signs and songs about the last time they had emerged victorious at The Battleground. Even if they were going to lose, Starblaydia were not going to go down without a song in their hearts and the black, white and purple flying around them. They were handily matched by their Vanorian hosts, but pound-for-pound the away fans were far more raucous in their support of their team. Starblaydi fans had been known for this passion for over two hundred and fifty years and probably only the Vanorians were polite enough to be not entirely sick of their jingoistic braggadocios nonsense by now. For the average Starblaydi fan, however, they were just being patriotic as they sung nice songs about Tiberius Starblayde and slightly less nice songs about anyone from Krytenia, that time they had to go to Krytenia once, or that time when they were West Starblaydia. Plus they belted out the national anthem, when it came time for that rousing, self-important and only a little bit slightly silly tune.

Valanora's players even respected the Raiigar, Starblaydia's pre-hype wardance, with Allandren Fresco actually politely applauding at the culmination of the performance. Most commentators couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not, leaving it to their own interpretation to read the otherwise unreadable look on the elven striker's face. And so, the TV cameras were ready, the crowd were expectant and the the most important match either side had taken part in for years was under way with a roar from right around the stadium. Valanora were, on paper, the better team by virtue not only of their rank and their all-star midfield but also from playing at home. Immediately the five-man midfield in the red and white took control of the ball, with a Starblaydi player barely touching it for the first six minutes of play, before Viola Capodanno finally managed to get a decent challenge in and stole the ball from off the laces of Ilglerdiriel Lithvathar. Hatsune won it back for another passage of Vanorian passing play almost immediately, though, but at least Starblaydi fans had something to cheer about, however briefly. The ease with which the likes of Hawk, va Drake, Lithvathar and Soldarian passed and moved and passed and moved, around what seemed like statues in white shirts by comparison, was plain to see. First Ollarion was beaten,fortunately the outside of the post too, by Hawk's shot, before she clawing a shot from Skaar out of the sky before it went into the top corner. By way of reply, only a weak effort from Aaron Cole was forthcoming, with Sean Smørdal lazily scooping the ball up from the ground before quickly starting a fresh attack with a throw out of defence. It was from this throw that Valanora won a free kick on the left-hand side of the Starblaydi penalty area after Sigismund fell va Drake. Lithvathar clipped the set play into the box, and Laborious Hawk stepped away from Tupu Alofa and headed the ball cleanly and powerfully downwards, hitting the ground only after it had crossed the line. Ollarion had dived to her right for it, and Kota Sato, standing on the near post, had vaguely thrown a leg at it, but the ball solidly rippled the back of the net and Hawk ran off to celebrate Lithavathar's dead ball skill, wagging his finger to the crowd as much to say "That's one" as it was to say "I told you as much".

This wasn't the kind of match where a Starblaydi fan could get all riled up by Audioslavian arseholery, or aim their anger at an unrepentant cyan army in front of them: they were simply being outplayed. It's not something that Starblaydi fans have ever had to get used to for any particularly long length of time, especially recently in their consistent climb up the rankings, but on the pitch they simply had no answer to the five-man midfield of their fast, technically skilled and experienced opponents. Stablaydia's own midfield five was failing and they were only barely keeping their heads above water as first Tupu Alofa needed to throw himself in front of a shot from Fresco, before Ollarion had to be at full stretch to tip a long range Hatsune shot onto the bar. In return, Aaron Cole had to drop deep to even touch the ball, while the service to Sutter McCloud was swept up by the likes of Soltvedt and Fjørtoft seemingly without a care in the world. It was all just too easy for Valanora, but by half time Starblaydia were clinging on by their fingernails to the 1-0 scoreline, thankful to only be a single goal behind.

Two changes came at the half for Starblaydia as their quietened following managed a half-hearted rendition of 'Away in Krytenia' during the fifteen minute break. Renshaw was off for Yamaguchi and Dashwood replaced by Maria Reyes. Ázëwyn Fëanáro was putting her faith in a typical Starblaydi 4-4-2 Diamond, because matching Valanora's 3-5-2 was doing nothing for them. With the extra defensive width provided by two full-backs and the solidity of a diamond in the midfield, Starblaydia managed to put a string of more than 15 passes together for the first time in the game. This one ended in a throw for Valanora, but at least this time it was in their own half, something Aaron Cole tried to chase down. Though the end result wasn't there, Starblaydia's flag had firmly been planted in the type of game they were going to play, and it was immediately looking a better proposition than the previous 45 minutes.

When Kaori Yamaguchi switched the play with a thumping, low ball across the midfield, everyone had thought she had over-hit it. Vanorian fans prepared themselves to ironically cheer the expected throw in, but they hadn't contended with Arkady Krakowski. The Starblaydi Under-21 captain, the young man who had lifted the Under-18 World Cup just a year previously, leapt into the air at full sprint and controlled the ball with his shoulder, managing to bring the ball down and take it in his stride as he raced away down the left touchline. This immediately brought the kind of instinctive cheer from the travelling fans that comes from generations of plays like this one, the single piece of skill brought about by an individual that lifts the whole team because yes, these things really are possible. These things can change a game. It didn't happen immediately, as Krakowski's cross was put out for a corner by Vásquez as the Starblaydi players revved themselves up to the backing track of their fans waking up from a Vanorian-enforced silence. When Sami Viipuri connected firmly with the resulting corner, those in white and purple were preparing themselves to punch the air, but instead it was Smørdal's punch pushing the ball wide for a second corner. The cries of 'come on!' echoed around the arena as the corner came in again. Aaron Cole threw himself at it but again the block came in from Vásquez, however the ball wasn't cleared and Tupu Alofa was quickest to react, stabbing his foot at the ball to try and direct it goalwards. For the briefest of moments it was heading straight towards Sean Smørdal between the posts, but within a heartbeat it was deflected by Fjørtoft's shin, redirecting it into the bottom corner with Smørdal wrong-footed and unable to even react before the ball spun over the line. It was absolute pandemonium in the box as white shirts ran everywhere and the Vanorians simply looked at each other, knowing they had to get back into this game or else they were out. One-all was not good enough for their World Cup hopes, but it was a Starblaydi lifeline.

Espy va Drake grabbed the game by the scruff of the neck and quickly shaved the outside of the post with a curling shot that had everyone watching the ball and whether it would go in or not, including Amari Ollarion in the Starblaydi goal. Viola Capodanno masterminded the midfield around her, while Makuszewski barked orders from the touchline and the Starblaydi back four solidified around the hulking figure of Tupu Alofa, probably the only person on the pitch who could comfortably look Laborious Hawk in the eye without having to strain their neck. As the time ticked down, the play became more and more ragged, with gaps opening up everywhere for both teams to exploit. As the cliche goes, the next goal would be crucial and both teams were increasingly desperate to score it. There was no bragging over championships won a century ago, no comparing of iconic moments that have echoed through the years, there was simply twenty-two footballers and seventy-eight thousand fans all trying their damnedest to make it to the next stage of the World Cup Finals. So when Arkady Krakowski again got the better of Ilglerdiriel Lithvathar down that left wing and raced away down the touchline, barely a person in the crowd was not on their feet. Getting to the goal line, outside the penalty area, he whipped in a cross with his left foot that was absolutely perfect for Aaron Cole to get his head on to. But there was no bullet header, no looping deflection aimed at the goal, it was a simple misdirection, a switch of the play back to the left, leaving defenders twisting and turning once more. A simple cushioned header downward that Kota Sato ran on to, sweeping the ball home with a low left-footed shot that nestled in the bottom left-corner past the despairing dive of Smørdal. Starblaydia had the lead, now, and Valanora needed two goals.

The five-times World Champion Marauders would come close to getting that goal, as for Hawk, then Fresco and substitute Nygård all came close in one way or another. But the play was stretched, the team pushed up too far forward. In laying siege to the Starblaydi goal, the back door was always threatening to be opened. Off came Aaron Cole for Carlotta Beretano to shore up the midfield, and Sutter McCloud stood as the lone Starblaydi figure in the centre circle, hands on his hips, waiting patiently. Nineteen years old, with eighteen senior goals to his name in twenty-six matches, the youngest ever member of the unofficial Rapaii 15 club, the group of seventy-three Starblaydi players who have scored fifteen or more goals for their country, a benchmark first set by Nikola "Laser" Lazerevski some sixty-seven World Cups ago. He was Starblaydia's first leading striker and still remains the bar for being considered a decent goalscorer for your country. Mezna Rayyen is also in that group, as is Aaron Cole, while Mercy Kaufman is just one goal short of the entry criteria. Sutter McCloud is not an old head on young shoulders, he's just Starblaydia's best striker in years. He proved it again in the dying moments of this match as a quick, long, throw from Ollarion took most of the Vanorian players completely out of the game, with McCloud latching onto the ball at full speed. Iben Fjørtoft managed to force him a little bit wide with her presence, but it was going to be one-on-one with Smørdal. As the goalie advanced to close down the angle, all it needed was a quick look up from McCloud and he chipped the ball over Smørdal, watching it drop tantalisingly slowly over the line and into the goalmouth. He wheeled away with his arms wide and a passionate cry of exultation, because Starblaydia were beating their greatest rivals and going through to the next round of the World Cup.

by **Apox** » Wed Apr 10, 2019 2:07 pm

Lorcan Oberhausen was at his desk in Government House when it happened. He'd been busy writing up a memo to his Minister for Health regarding upgrades which were required for many of Apox's ageing hospitals, when there was a great roaring noises, resulting in the desk shaking violently, the lights flickering and finally going out.

He sat, shellshocked at the desk for a moment, before the emergency lights, a fainter greenish hue to them, kicked in. As they came up, what can't have been more than thirty seconds after the commotion, his chief of staff, Jurgen Folortyr burst into the room, with at least half a dozen other governmental security guards. He spoke into his earpiece as he rushed over to the Lorcan,

"The Leader is secured, we are heading to the situation room. Expect us there in one minute." Lorcan made to stand up, but was grabbed roughly by two security guards and half ushered, half dragged over to the door.

"Wha... what's the situation?" he managed to get out, staring at Jurgen with confusion etched over his face. The powerfully built Chief of Staff looked stern and strained,
"There's... been an explosion, near the lobby of the building. We're still trying to work out the details." The gravity of the situation kicked in, and Oberhausen snapped into action, his leadership qualities coming to the fore, as the party moved out of his office and down the corridor to the Situation Room.
"We need to find out who did this attack and why, and also get details on the current situation. Who is down, who is ok. Members of Cabinet and ideally all GWs need to be secured."
"We'll work on that once you are safe." Jurgen had one priority and one priority only at the moment, conferring with him while Lorcan was still in danger wasn't going to work.
Handguns raised, the party rushed through the double doors at the end of the corridor and into the main lobby. What greeted Lorcan looked, well, exactly like you'd imagine if a bomb had gone off. Acrid smoke and a definite rise in temperature greeted him, as a fire raged down the other end of the building, with large holes in the wall and ceiling at that end. The sound of sirens echoed in the distance.

And just as soon as they were in the lobby, they were out of it, through another corridor and outside the situation room. The door remained shut for a second before the mechanisms behind it clicked into life and it swung open, an assault rifle bearing security guard ushering them through to the lift, which descended the twenty metres underground to the secure room, which had been recently upgraded at Lorcan's instruction following a thorough security review. In the lift he had a few seconds tocompose himself, although his mind was racing with questions, 'who are these people? what kind of attack was it? what do they want?' His mind immediately sprung to the increasingly active militant wing of the ONP (Olfa National Party) who had caused the second Apoxian Civil War. However, Olfan independence hadn't really been a major political issue of late and the regular dossiers he received from MIS (the Ministry for Intelligence & Security) hadn't flagged anything up. Could it be a lone wolf?

He was thrown back to reality with the lift doors opening, and the sight of the situation room firing itself up to ensure continuity of government and rational decision making in a time like this. Jurgen was immediately at the side of other security aides, trying to find more details on the situation. He was immediately greeted by his Secretary of Foreign Affairs, Jessica Halveston, whose office was closest to the situation room and had no doubt arrived first. As always, she was already prepared with facts and knowledge, although her auburn hair was unkempt and she had a wild look in her eyes, which suggested she was playing catch up as much as anyone else.

"Jess, talk to me. What do we know?"
"We're just getting security footage up now, but it seems a van drove into the front of Government House, coming from across the square. Shortly after contact with the main entrance, it exploded, blowing a hole in the front wall and funnelling the blast straight through the interior of the lobby and directly outside. We're still working out who the suspects are, but they are initially thought to be Mareibatian. Motives unknown."
Lorcan merely nodded, his face grim.
"Get a channel through to the MIS, find out what they know, get them working on this problem." Jess nodded and strode over to officials manning a series of phones opposite the bank of TV screens on one side of the room. Lorcan sat down next to his personal assistant, George Waltham, who was midcall, but cut it off as soon as Lorcan sat down.

"Lorcan, good to see you in one piece. Have you been updated?"
"Same to you George, yeah Jessica just gave me a run down on what we know now. Have you tracked down the Cabinet?" The protocol in times like this such as suspected terrorist attacks was to immediately secure government and other high ranking officials, as well as potentially involve the military if required.
"We are in the process of doing so. Alisto (the Treasurer) is visiting industry in Cierbanor and has been rerouted to Mountain Hove Military Base, Jacob Bradburn (Secretary of Interior Affairs) and Artur Winklebottom (Secretary of Defense) were at home when the explosion hit, and are being rerouted to the MIS as we speak. Matthias (Sindelar, Deputy Leader) is heading down to the situation last I heard. Still working on contacting the others."
Lorcan nodded, satisfied.
"We need a system update on the stability of Government House, if we're compromised here, we need to start thinking about evac plans. Also get a line to the military open, they may be needed." There were so many things to do in a crisis, some many variables in play, and the situation was delicate to read until more information had been revealed. Lorcan had so far been lucky in that he hadn't had any home soil crises of this nature to deal with. Other than the occasional lone wolf attack, Apox had been fairly free and stable from terrorism since the threat of the Commune ebbed away and the Second Apoxian Civil War had concluded, over twenty years ago now. He was joined by Matthias Sindelar just as the main TV monitor got footage of the explosion up.

It was clear to see that the van which had ploughed its way through the throngs of people on Government Square had been packed with a lot of explosives, with it careening its way towards the grand main entrance of Government House. Once embedded in the front wall of the building, there was a moments pause before an enormous explosion had sent people scattering, both inside the building and without, as debris and dust flew everywhere. Grimly, Matthias and he watched the footage a couple more times, before he turned to the Leader of his coalition partners,

"This will demand a response."

by **Cassadaigua** » Wed Apr 10, 2019 3:51 pm

Dagan Airways Gets Big Prize,
by Kristen Van Buren, Business Analyst, Concord Heights Times

Prior to the game against Valladares, we had talked about the possibility of Dagan Airways being awarded the naming rights to Concord Heights Stadium. While their spokespeople were very confident, the stadium personnel were not giving away any signs. Just recently, we were told that there were still many players, but more then likely that was just to try and drive up the bidding price. Well, it’s official, you will no longer call it Concord Heights Stadium. It is now the Dagan Airways Stadium, but it does not stop there. The sponsorship agreement also extends to the basketball and hockey arena, and the motorsports facility. So, next time you go see something at the arena, you will be going to the Dagan Airways Arena. The next time NSSCRA runs a race there, it will be at the Dagan Airways Speedway. Brianna Crause, the same spokesperson who told us the other day that the deal was going to get done and that they were not worried about Qusmair’s presence in New Lakeland, was elated to share in the extra happy news!

“Dagan Airways takes great pride in being the leading airline in Cassadaigua. We provide more non-stop flights between Cassadagan cities then anyone else in the nation, but our international prowess also is quite well known. We have non-stop flights to many of the top destinations with Rushmore, Esportiva, or Atlantian Oceania, or any other region that one wants to head to, then anyone else in Cassadaigua. We have partnerships with other airlines, so we can get you where you want to go, no matter where that may be. Plus, as our loyal passengers know, we are the leading airline in customer comfort. You are not a sardine when flying with us. We have more leg room then anyone in the country, and we do not charge baggage fees. Because we are a large airline, we can do things for customers that others might not be able to, or be willing too. Dagan Airways Stadium often hosts many fanbases from across the world, so what better business to be name the place after then the airline that may have got them there, to begin with.”

After unveiling a new logo for the stadium, Crause was asked about the bargaining process,

“They knew that we were in it from the start. There is no other business that makes as much sense for the kind of stadium that this is, then a business that directly gets fans to the place. We can now expand our lineup even more when major events are held in the capital city. I always felt that we were the biggest bidder here, especially when Five Star Mobile went to Brattleboro. Then, I knew it was just about waiting them out until they made the best decision.”

Companies looking to still get a piece of the action still have Rutland and the always growing city of Starksville to make a bid for. Victoriaville also remains an option, so there still may be more announcements to be made.

Schanke’s Moment,
by Chelsea Dufresne, Concord Heights Times

Rachel Schanke could be forgiven if she had her head in the McClouds during the group stage, wondering when she could get the same great opportunities that Sutter McCloud did for Starblaydia. While we don’t always analyze Starblaydi football (they do a damn good job of that on their own), the fact that we were in the same group as them during qualifying made it impossible to overlook the parallels between the nineteen year olds. We’ve taken several opportunities already to analyze it, so we don’t have to go there again. Schanke’s role was to be a speedy sub, someone that could come in and take advantage of tired players elsewhere on the pitch, and she had success doing that, scoring four goals during qualifying. Considering goals per minute played, Schanke made great use of her time. None of them were game winners or clutch game equalizers. None of them, were even close to being like this one.

The match was tied at one. It was a must win for the Fillies, and they had played well in the game, but could not overcome a costly error in the 11th minute that allowed Adam Pinto to open up the scoring. It was not going to be easy to have to come from behind in this one, but to their credit, the Pink scored before the halftime whistle, thanks to Hannah Ranucci in the 40th minute. With the game all tied at one, Cassadaigua could breathe a little easier at the break as they went over the game plan for the second half. Overall, Cassadaigua controlled the play in the second half, but not to say Valladares was absent of chances. Still, the Dagans could not push ahead, and there was no way they were going to advance to the round of 16 without getting three points here.

In the 78th minute, coach Sweeney made a change, subbing a Rachel for a Rachel as Rachel Brenner was taken out in favor Schanke. They would switch up their formation, and move to a 4-3-3 attack, and then the chances were greater. Valladares adjusted well, but the Fillies were doing all they could here. In the 89th minute, and time winding down, Rachel Schanke took a pass from Sierra Mattison and aggressively ran down the field, using Hannah Ranucci as a decoy. Ranucci, the most feared striker on this team was not someone the defense could lt beat them either, so they were cautious to watch for a potential pass. There would not be a pass, and after a shifty move to avoid a defender, Schanke took the shot, and scored the goal, putting it just inside the right post! It was her biggest goal of her career, looking much like her grandmother did during our glory days.

“I was in the zone. They weren’t stopping me,” Schanke said, “This was all mine. I knew I had Hannah (Ranucci) as an option to pass it too but I liked using her as a decoy, and I know that she knew that I was doing that.” In hearing the comment, captain Ranucci said, “Yes, I did know she was going to do that. She’s only 19 but she plays well beyond her years. She might not be the highest scoring 19-year old in the tournament, but she’s definitely making a her own name for herself.” Rachel’s grandmother, Jessica, has her #17 retired for the team though is not able to fly due to health concerns. She watched the game from home and immediately called Rachel when able to congratulate her.

There are now just 16 teams remaining, and in the way is Audioslavia. They won a star-studded group, based on nation names and history, with a 2-1-0 record, topping Starblaydia in the process. The only blemish was a 3-3 draw in matchday three to Nova Anglicana, a game that they didn’t need in any way.

by **Audioslavia** » Wed Apr 10, 2019 4:10 pm

Folk Off
This folk song has bewildered Dagans. Stanza six will shock you!

It's been a weird week in the world of football. First Audioslavia somehow manage to thrash hosts Valanora, then Starblaydia beat them by the same scoreline as the Bulls' B team fail to get all three points from Nova Anglicana. Add to that all the exits from big names - Free Republics, Nephara and a Eura team that go out on six points - and you get a peculiar looking line-up for the second round.

Audioslavia's opponents are similarly a side that won back-to-back World Championships back in the era when journalism was a job and not something done by teenage interns on their phones. Cassadaigua are the team benefitting from Eura's humilating collapse against Sargossa, and will face off against the Bulls in the round of sixteen.

The are very few Audioslavians still alive who would remember any kind of history our nation's sports teams have with Cassadaigua, which is probably for the best - Cassadaigua have traditionally been an alarmingly tall, fast and strong team that have the beating of any other on their day, and doing something to piss them off would be a grave mistake.

Which is why many people are horrified at whichever member of the Audioslavian part of the internet dragged this song up from ancient history.

The folk song, supposedly written around cycle 66, just before Audioslavia hosted the World Cup, seems to be about Ice Hockey. Our historians (read: the intern who was closest to wikipedia at the time) have discovered that, indeed, Audioslavia once had an Ice Hockey team and twice encountered Cassadaigua at the sport, losing both times. The references to 'Jaffacake and Roy' appear to be concerning one Jeremy Jaffacake - no introduction needed - and a Dagan woman called Michelle Roy, information on whom is sketchy at best. The only thing we know about her is that her name was probably pronounced 'Waa' in that peculiar way common among Francophones, but that's only because, if not, one of the rhymes below doesn't work.

Feminist groups initially reacted angrily to the song, saying that it advocated violence against women, but backed off when they realised it was about Dagan women, and that it's the Audioslavian men who are at the biggest risk of injury from being accidentally trodden on by their opponents.

The song runs the risk of providing Cassadaigua manager Stephanie Sweeney with her team talk ahead of the AUD-CAS game this weekend, and so its further spread should be halted by any reputable news source.

Here it is in its entirety.

Come Out ye Black and Pinks

^{Author: Unknown}
^{(To the Tune of 'Come Out ye Black and Tans', one of the cheekier Irish rebel songs. So cheeky that I'm not actually going to link to the song)}

In the old Tzierran streets
Where the rougher boys would meet
Those with cuts and bruises, musclebound and stocky
That’s where I began to learn
Of how to check and how to turn
And how we eastern folk contest the game of Hockey

Come out ye Black and Pinks
Come throw your gloves down on our rink
You fuchsia Amazonians, let’s have ya
There’s many an occasion
For sporting Brobdingnagians,
To lose out to the boys of Audioslavia

Of the thirty boys who played it
All but six of us, we made it
To the Greater Audioslavia National Team
To Yesopalitha we booked
Two dozen tickets as we looked
To qualify for Hockey World Cup 18

Come out ye Black and Pinks
Come throw your gloves down on our rink
You fuchsia Amazonians, let’s have ya
There’s many an occasion
For sporting Brobdingnagians,
To lose out to the boys of Audioslavia

Every hockey team we met
We put our pucks into their net
For there were no fires the Ice Bulls couldn’t cool
So why aren’t I standing here
Drinking from a trophy filled with beer?
Well there was only one exception to that rule.

Come out ye Black and Pinks
Come throw your gloves down on our rink
You fuchsia Amazonians, let’s have ya
There’s many an occasion
For sporting Brobdingnagians,
To lose out to the boys of Audioslavia

From the rocky lands of Rushmore
Cassadagan girls could crush your
Melon head in one incredibly big hand
Six foot seven to a woman
We could see those fuckers comin’
From a mile away across the desertland.

Come out ye Black and Pinks
Come throw your gloves down on our rink
You fuchsia Amazonians, let’s have ya
There’s many an occasion
For sporting Brobdingnagians,
To lose out to the boys of Audioslavia

With Cassadigua we would spar
In front of Jaffacake and Roy
Oh the Bulls, we charged the fuchsia matador
Oh many goals did we net,
But many more in did we let
As the Dagan girls, they left us on the floor

Come out ye Black and Pinks
Come throw your gloves down on our rink
You fuchsia Amazonians, let’s have ya
There’s many an occasion
For sporting Brobdingnagians,
To lose out to the boys of Audioslavia

Our sporting wounds had finally healed
By the time it was revealed
That the Bulls would face the Dagans at the soccer
In World Cup 65
In the first game we would strive
But the Dagans, they had more inside their locker

Come out ye Black and Pinks
Come throw your gloves down on our rink
You fuchsia Amazonians, let’s have ya
There’s many an occasion
For sporting Brobdingnagians,
To lose out to the boys of Audioslavia

We waited half a year
Until we finally could cheer
Audioslavia ‘gainst the Dagans in our home
Though it cured our previous ill
When we thrashed them four to nil
To us it feels like there’s more pages in this tome.

Come out ye Black and Pinks
Come throw your gloves down on our rink
You fuchsia Amazonians, let’s have ya
There’s many an occasion
For sporting Brobdingnagians,
To lose out to the boys of Audioslavia

So to future games we toast
To the team we love the most
We will meet again, I promise, on the field
Be it one year, be it more,
Be it World Cup 84
Bring your sword, bring your horses, bring your shields

We’ll await the Black and Pinks
We’ll await that lanky minx
We’ll remember Hockey’s World Cup 18
And on a future day, I’ll say
This debt you’ll surely pay
When you stand against the claret and the green.
Oh a future day, I’ll say,
This debt you’ll surely pay
When you stand against the claret and the green.

BullsFeed is not a proper news source, and so we haven't bothered contacting anyone from Cassadaigua for their thoughts.

Instead, here are some memes

World Cup 81/82/83/84

from the closing minutes of the CBC1 television broadcast of Baker Park v Apox:

Mark Tolbert: and the ball is kicked into touch. Trevor Richmond making his final substitution as Lorenzo Taborn will come on for the scorer of the opening goal, Erica Shaw. As the board is shown, several of her teammates run up to give her congratulatory hugs or pats on the back.

Craig Snyder: Another solid match from Shaw tonight, we saw the full range of her dynamic presence thanks to her partnership with Westmoreland, AB could handle the distribution and linkup play and Shaw had the kind of freedom she was able to really exploit like when Matt Villareal was alongside four years ago.

MT: Taborn will switch off with Bozeman and take up the spot behind the front runners. But they all have backed way off the press.

CS: Ashcroft hasn't gotten within 10 yards of the box for the last 15 minutes I don't think.

MT: and of course the only real noise you hear from the crowd is coming from the corner on the far side of the pitch. The 8,000 or so fans who made their way here from the Commonwealth have enjoyed another amazing away day. Whitestone and Bozeman work the ball down the right touchline.

CS: We should mention that the Apox World Cup organizers actually freed up extra tickets for Baker Park, so let's give them credit.

MT: Absolutely Craig, we have been extremely well treated here and we've got at least a few more days to spend here in Dwile, as we'll be moving across town to the national stadium, The Stadium of Apox, for the round of 16 match. And DiPietro now pushes the ball forward to Taborn, who slow walks it right into the heart of the defense, and then turns to play it back to Enzikomibo who is just at the midfield stripe.

CS: I'm looking at the other scores, and it looks as though Nephara are not going to make it through, they lead Qasden but Cosumar is going to take down 95X, so it looks like we'll face the Vanquishers for a second straight World Cup.

MT: what happened to the Nepharim? we both thought they'd be one of the contenders here. Over to Haller and he sends it towards Santos.

CS: They are certainly having fun over there in the stands.

MT: and Jones loses out and it's a goal kick for Apox, they are saying just 2 minutes of stoppage time Craig.

CS: We've seen so many performances and so many genuinely thrilling results Mark, and this is right there with the best of them. Winning a group at the World Cup on merit. Look at the bench.

MT: The board has officially gone up for the stoppage time, 2 minutes.

[ambient audio of fans singing]

When I tread the verge of Jordan
Bid my anxious fears subside
Death of death and hell’s Destruction,
Land me safe on Canaan’s side.
Songs of praises, songs of praises,
I will ever give to Thee;
I will ever give to Thee.

MT: the remnants of the 59,000 plus here at the APX Stadium are on their feet awaiting Mr Bixlit'i Hiy, the Qusmi’y referee's final whistle.

CS: c'mon man.

MT: And that's it! Baker Park have won Group A and advanced to the last 16 of World Cup 82, the second consecutive tournament they have done so.
They have defeated the co-hosts, Apox, here at the APX Stadium in Dwile by the score of 2-0, goals by Erica Shaw in the 30th minute and Jamari Bozeman in the 48th minute providing the margin of victory. David Blake, back to you in the studio, another historic milestone in Commonwealth soccer history.

David Blake: Thank you Mark and Craig, and yes it is another feather in the cap of Baker Park soccer. Joined by Aiden Donnan and Gary Kostka here in the Multiverse Broadcasting Center in downtown Dwile. Gary, another tactical masterclass from Pam Scott and Trevor Richmond?

Gary Kostka: If you go back to qualifying, and look at some of the head scratching results, especially with Trevor's half of the squad, it is only now that you see a pattern emerge that points to a lot of mix and match tactical decisions based on the personnel. Faith Enzikomibo played--what Ady, 2 and a half matches during the split squad...?

Aiden Donnan: exactly. Trevor did so much more cut and paste style lineups in the first half than Pam did. But what becomes clear now is how much the emphasis on relearning basic elements of the system meant as the adjustments and solidifying the squad moved forward. Have the tactics looked better in this stage than they did in the first part of qualifying?

DB: And Craig Snyder, back at the stadium, your thoughts?

CS: Ady has hit on the head. It has always been the long term result that Pam and Trevor have pointed towards, even if they didn't always make that explicit in their public statements. Rethinking the whole system after Shane Newman left was going to be a long term project, and when you are faced with these personnel issues that came up--who is going to be the future and who is getting past their best years--it really has been a sense of rebuilding on the fly.

DB: Gary, a final thought?

GK: Now I'm looking at the stats. 300+ more passes completed than Apox over the course of the match, possession in middle third 71%, total distance covered was 40% more than Apox. Yeah, a tactical victory. Now they come back with a lineup that plays to their strengths in attack and an attitude that we're as good as the people we are playing.

DB: So, that wraps up things from here. Commonwealth of Baker Park 2, Apox nil. Thanks for joining us on CBC Soccer Night, for Aiden Donnan and Gary Kostka, I'm David Blake. Good night from Dwile.

by **Sargossa** » Wed Apr 10, 2019 11:59 pm

SSM | Sargossan State Media

International Edition - Sport

Eura ~~Victor~~ Meme Now

Blanco Borrayo;

We can draw a quiet veil over been held to a stalemate in Najaf, a nation that technically doesn’t seem to exist, because the hard work was done in front of a raucous crowd in Goza. Victory over The United States of Devonta guaranteed Sargossa top spot in Group 7 of World Cup qualifying with a game to go. Which was a lovely position to be in. For the fifth consecutive tournament Sargossa were in the Finals, the only detail left was the big reveal as to where they would be playing. Now I’m sure Apox is lovely this time of year but it’s the Eternal Realm that has the pathos. And possibly the other Musketeers too. The suitably glitzy group draw did indeed produce the result most of the fans quietly hoped for. The Corsairs were off to Valanora.

Now it’s not entirely unusual, when spending car-free time in a strange, exotic and woody land, to take a small token from home. Something to add a bit of familiarity to the alien surroundings. Instead we seemingly elected to take most of Rushmore with us. Because Group H was more Rushmori than flocks of uncommonly confrontational waterfowl divebombing a Lussolavizzovian turnip festival. It was pretty glittery too, with World Cups, Copa Rushmoris, Cups of Harmony and Di Bradini Cups aplenty divided out among the participants.

Valladares
Past Record
P13 W4 D3 L6

Fun fact. Of the Baptism of Fire class of 34 (that’s pre-World Cup 47 if you're interested) Valladares and Sargossa are the last nations still competing on the world stage. The likes of Toyur, Swilatia, The Babbage Islands, Delaclava, Queer Poco el Mono Ara, Sibirsky and eventual winners Valipac have all slid into the sporting ether. But the Corsairs and La Nacional are still going strong(ish). A longevity that belies the fact that the nation’s managed just a single BoF win between them. What a difference a few decades make.

It took until qualifying for World Cup 50 for the sides to actually collide. Neither nation advanced but the Corsairs did manage to dish out a 5 – 0 trouncing to their Rushmori foes in Swangard. It was a strong start to a record that would swing firmly back towards the Valladars. Helped by a result that sits ominously in the Sargossan football hall of records. The venue was the tenth Copa Rushmori, hosted in Valladares. There, in the last sixteen, Sargossa took on the home nation. The result, an 8 – 1 defeat. The heaviest loss ever suffered by a Sargossan national side. La Nacional were a force to be reckoned with, twice champions of Rushmore and a beaten World Cup finalist, but recent years have seen them on the slide. A drop to 47th in the rankings is testimony to that. But that didn’t stop them staying neck and neck with world champions Vilita in qualifying, only goal difference separated them from the Atlantian giants. And, not unlike those Jungle Cats, the Valladars still have teeth.

As Wilfried Baume and Andy Navarro both proved, cancelling out a Matías Cáceres brace in a delightfully cavalier group opener in the Vanorian capital’s Turmondale Grounds. It was a match to put both sets of fans through the emotional ringer, while delighting the neutrals, as two nations committed themselves to attacking football, unceasingly searching for a winner. And when that winner came it was the side in the darker blue who celebrated. César Goyoso was the match winner, his beautifully struck freekick sailed over the wall and dropped into the net, beyond the reach of the diving Paulo Gaviria.

Sargossa 3 - 2 Valladares
Cáceres (2)
Goyoso

  Group H              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Eura                   1   1  0  0    2   1  +1    3
  Sargossa               1   1  0  0    3   2  +1    3
3 Cassadaigua            1   0  0  1    1   2  −1    0
  Valladares             1   0  0  1    2   3  −1    0

Cassadaigua
Past Record
P7 W4 D0 L3

It may have been some time ago, but the history books will always show that Cassadaigua won successive World Cups. Not many nations can boast such a feat. Since then Dagan fortunes have suffered somewhat, and the nation disappeared from the football arena entirely after World Cup 68. Only to re-emerge with a new energy and will to win ahead of the 78th edition of the tournament. The ground to make up was huge but steadily the Dagans have been doing just that. They’re up to 23rd in the rankings and topped a devilish qualifying group that including Starblaydia, Filindostan, Omerica and Polkopia.

There had been friendlies and Under-21 internationals but the senior sides of Sargossa and Cassadaigua didn’t meet in competitive action until they exchanged a victory apiece at the fourteenth Copa Rushmori in Taeshan. Two further Copa clashes followed, with the Corsairs victorious in both. Including a 5 – 2 win at the most recent tournament.

The match between the nations in Valanora though was a far cagier affair. Cassadaigua, having tasted defeat in their opening match knew they had to get something out of this game to have any hopes of advancing. Whereas Sargossa knew defeat would put an immense burden on their final, and toughest, group fixture. Which didn’t make for a hugely entertaining spectacle. Instead it made for an even contest in which few risks were taken. An even contest that hinged on one moment. Hannah Ranucci’s shot proved too hot for Roberto Penedo to handle. The Dunas Del Sol stopper could only palm it back into the path of Zack Pierce, who swept it in. It was a goal that guaranteed Cassadaigua an important three points and saw the Dagans move level with Sargossa in the standings.

Sargossa 0 - 1 Cassadaigua

  Group H              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Eura                   2   2  0  0    5   2  +3    6
2 Cassadaigua            2   1  0  1    2   2   0    3
3 Sargossa               2   1  0  1    3   3   0    3
4 Valladares             2   0  0  2    3   6  −3    0

Eura
Past Record
P5 W3 D0 L2

Whether it’s international football or Rushmori politics the nation of Eura bestrides it like a shouty colossus. The group’s other two time world champions are a force to be reckoned with in either sphere. One of only three nations to advance through qualifying without suffering a single defeat the Eurans arrived in The Eternal Realm looking to better their third place finish from World Cup 80.

Given their World Cup pedigree Sargossa have been fortunate in avoiding the Eurans in that tournament, instead all five previous meetings have occurred at the Copa Rushmori. Sargossa have won three of those five encounters, albeit with an asterisk attached. That being the fact that none of those victories were over ninety minutes. There were shootout wins in the last sixteen of Copa 18 and the semi-final of Copa 30, either side of a glorious extra time triumph in the final of Copa 20. Most recently the Eurans gained a small measure of revenge with a 3 – 2 win in the Third Place Playoff at Copa 31.

Sargossan international football history spans some eight hundred and fifty something matches. Among them have been some memorable performances. There was the backs-to-the-wall World Cup victory over Farfadillis, the 4 – 1 win in Jhanna, the triumph over Vephrall in the Cup of Harmony final (and the ridiculous nine goal thriller with Aguazul that proceeded it), an 8 – 0 demolition of Kazzoria and that one time we didn’t lose to The Polar Islandstates. And yet the first forty five minutes against Eura were perhaps the finest a Sargossan national side has ever managed. It may have been the underdog playing like they had nothing to lose. Perhaps it was Euran complacency. Maybe the stars just aligned. For the Corsairs left the traps like a bullet from a gun. And took an early lead when Alonzo Zevallos’ low cross was bundled in at the near post by Matías Cáceres. Seven minutes later Zevallos was at it again. Another low ball from the right caused chaos, Ben Hall attempted a panicky clearance which struck the leg of John Leach and skittled back over the line. Zevallos made it a hattrick of assists with an out-swinging corner that picked out Enrique Muñoz on the corner of the six-yard box. The Sporting San Marquez centreback picked out the back of the net with a powerful header. Sargossa had a three goal lead over Eura.

Cue rapturous scenes back home and among the Sargossan fans that had made the journey to The Eternal Realm. This was not the game they’d anticipated. Even coach Rodrigo Defederico was caught directing a bemused shrug towards a nearby knot of Sargossan support after the third goal. The match wouldn’t continue in the same vein. It couldn’t. The tempo was too high. The opposition, when they realised it, were too good. It’s a safe bet that Daniel Belgrave had some choice words to share with his charges at halftime. Because they emerged with a purpose. Unfortunately they found three big centrebacks in a stingy mood and behind them a goalkeeper, stung by criticism following the Cassadaigua defeat, playing like a man possessed. There was no way through for the Eurans against a formation which, after some second half tactical switchery, resembled a flat back five with a couple of midfield destroyers thrown in for good measure. When Brian Bond cut in from the left and saw an exquisitely curling drive bend away from the static keeper and clatter off the outside of the post it became apparent that a deity somewhere had decreed that there be no cries of Eura Victor this night.

Sargossa 3 - 0 Eura
Cáceres
Leach (OG)
Muñoz

  Group H              Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Sargossa               3   2  0  1    6   3  +3    6
2 Cassadaigua            3   2  0  1    4   3  +1    6
3 Eura                   3   2  0  1    5   5   0    6
4 Valladares             3   0  0  3    4   8  −4    0

That solitary goal would have done it for the Eurans too. With Cassadaigua beating Valladares in the other Group H fixture the Dagans, Sargossa and Eura all finished on six points. But the three goal swing saw Sargossa top the group on goal difference and Cassadaigua leapfrog Eura courtesy of a single goal differential. Just like that the top seeds went from day dreaming about their second round opponents to the victims of memeification. It's a cruel game. Funny though.

Starblaydia
Past Record
P10 W5 D1 L4

The Corsairs have emerged from a Rushmori gauntlet to run smack bang into a purple hued Atlantian giant. Starblaydia. The Purple Peril. The Men (and women, elves, the occasional dwarf) in Mauve. The five time champions of the world. The six time champions of Atlantian Oceania. Their list of accomplishments are slightly longer than those just written. Despite that they did their best to not qualify, a final day win in Polkopia just about kept this young Starblaydia side ahead of Filindostan in the standings. But any signs of weakness have been quickly dispelled by a 3 – 1 win over Valanora in the final round of group matches that sent the hosts crashing out of their own tournament.

Surprisingly the Corsairs have a marginally favourable record against their mauve clad opposition, with five wins to the Blaydis’ four. On three different occasions Sargossa have struck four passed Starblaydia. They’re unbeaten in the last four against the Purple Peril. These are all reasons to be cheerful. And yet the prevailing feeling is leaning toward fearful. This Starblaydia side are young and hungry, with an attack as sharp as their coach’s cheekbones and full of Valrauncion levels of swagger after that win over Valanora that edged them back in front in their duel for a sixth World Cup title. They may have struggled somewhat in qualifying but there’s that annoying feeling that they save their very best for when it really counts. Then there’s World Cup 63, which we don’t talk about.

by **Turori** » Thu Apr 11, 2019 1:16 am

Turori's National Citizen Squad [4] Darmen [2]

Castle de Mot, Wexax, Valanora :: For the second time in as many matches at the World Cup 82 Finals in Valanora the Turori National Team raced out to a quick lead thanks to a Mirana Gotuai tally and never looked back as they propelled themselves into the knockout rounds with a 4-2 victory over former rival nation Darmen.

It may have seemed that some of the players were still posing for the pre-match photographs at the time that Mirana Gotuai put Turori's National Citizen Squad in front as the Eels had started the match with the ball and it was the sprint up the wing from Gotuai and the perfectly weighted ball from Daliora Toru'u to find Gotuai in stride for two quick steps passed a shell shocked Darmeni defensive line before firing a low shot past Hyman Campo that just snuck in the right side of the far upright to give the Eels a lightning fast 1-0 lead.

After 181 minutes of action at the World Cup 82 Finals Turori's National Citizen Squad had now scored two goals, both by the Iskara Daii attacker Mirana Gotuai, and conceded exactly zero having pitched a shutout in their first two matches under the stewardship of Cedniavella Turori goalkeeper Wiyauw An'maude. For their third and final group stage match, however, Turori would hand the gloves to the veteran G.Q. Disterfred II in what many expect to be the Colonial Sile and long time Turori National Team goal keepers final World Cup cycle.

It would take about fifteen minutes for the largely pro-Turori Atlantian Oceania based crowd at the Castle de Mot to settled down after the opener set the Eels up perfectly to claim a spot in the knockout rounds given their defensive prowess thus far in the World Cup Finals. Just as they had perhaps found an equilibrium and found their seats the Turori National Team got back on the board with their first multi-goal performance of the World Cup 82 finals and the first Turorian goal in Apox and Valanora scored by a player other than Mirana Gotuai.

It started with a hopeful chance for Medli'ita Mungwaii that appeared to be heading wide but Scott City FC goalkeeper Hyman Campo was making certain of the fact by pushing the ball out for a Turorian corner kick. The deliver came in from Kentu Umaka'a and found none other than Yitizo Mpala'a on the back post who confidently headed home to double the advantage for the citizen squad. It was the first ever World Cup Finals goal for the Lonngeylin Coast defender and their first goal for the Turori National Team since matchday 12 of World Cup 80 qualifying when they scored the third and final goal in Turori's 3-1 victory over Jeruselem.

After 216 minutes of shutout play to start the World Cup 82 Finals, the Turori National Team finally conceded their first goal of the tournament in the 37th minute at the Castle de Mot when young Darmen City United prospect Ivan Borde got Darmen on the board in what would truly amount to little more than a stat padding consolation prize for the Darmeni side who were already assured of an early exit to the World Cup. While the goal had pulled Darmen within one of Turori on the day the Citizen Squad never really looked threatened by Darmen and would re-claim their two goal advantage within mere minutes of Darmen scoring their first goal of the match. This time it was the Jungle Strike FC attacker Meldi'ita Mungwaii who found the back of the net for Turori, restoring the Eels two-goal advantage allowing the Citizen Squad to take a 3-1 lead into the half time break.

The second half was a mildly more even affair with Darmen actually having a handful of chances late in the half including a run just past the hour mark where they had 4 consecutive corner kicks that each amounted to nothing other than the first three which resulted in yet another corner kick. It was almost against the run of play when Mirana Gotuai book-ended the scoring for Turori with their second of the game and third of the tournament after a long ball over the top from Amakli Inuro'o wrong-footed Cyrus Spalding on the bounce and allowed Gotuai the space to collect the ball unchallenged and race in on Campo's goal, making no mistake with the goal at their mercy.

While the National Team of Darmen would finally break through once more with an 83rd minute Counter-Attack goal off the foot of substitute Viedharr Svendsen, it would be the last contribution from the Darmeni's on the World Cup 82 record book as they crashed out at the bottom of Group F with zero points and a minus five goal differential. For Darmen head coach Godefroy Abascal walking off the pitch in Wexax he had to be wondering whether his career at the helm for Darmen would itself be book-ended by Turori with his great accomplishment coming in leading Darmen to the Gold Medal in the XII Olympiad over Turori's National Cocoabo Squad but now potentially seeing his job in jeopardy after being eliminated from World Cup 82 in Apox and Valanora without a point.

Turori [4] - [2] Darmen

:: Turori Goalscorers ::
:: 1' Mirana Gotuai
:: 24' Yitizo Mpala'a
:: 41' Meldi'ita Mungwaii
:: 73' Mirana Gotuai

:: Turori Statistics ::
:: Possession: 61%
:: Shots on Target: 9
:: Corner Kicks: 4

:: Darmen Statistics ::
:: Possession: 39%
:: Shots on Target: 7
:: Corner Kicks: 10

:: Darmen Goalscorers ::
:: 37' Ivan Borde
:: 83' Viedharr Svendsen
::

Turori Eels Lineup v. Darmen ::
[GK] G.Q Disterfred II, [D.] Tarek Edgeli, [D.] Yitizo Mpala'a, [D.] Lulu Pumaziiri, [D.] Amakli Inuro'o, [ML] Indelli Nura'amura, [MC] Mbdiai Akarenaa, [MC] Daliora Toru'u, [MR] Kentu Umaka'a, [FC] Meldi'ita Mungwaii, [FC] Mirana Gotuai
BENCH::
[FC] Nua'oma Aikiki, [FC] Wiztsana Iretziia, [M] Teliima Loinara, [M] Lati'ala Giaoka, [u] Oani Moralziia, [D] Dmitri Levada, [GK] Wiyauw An'maude

Group F                 Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Turori                 3   2  1  0    5   2  +3    7
2 Qusmo                  3   2  0  1    2   1  +1    6
3 Brenecia               3   1  1  1    3   2  +1    4
4 Darmen                 3   0  0  3    3   8  −5    0

World Cup 82 Round of 16 - Valanora Region

#26 Audioslavia vs. #23 Cassadaigua 
#7 Turori vs. #12 Pasarga 
#6 Farfadillis vs. #34 Qusmo
#14 Sargossa vs. #15 Starblaydia

With the book closed on the World Cup 82 Group Stage in Apox and Valanora, the Turori National Team found themselves atop group F and on their way to the knockout rounds. Unfortunately the Round of 16 draw may not have been kind to Turori's National Citizen Squad as despite being the 2nd highest ranked team remaining in the Valanora half of the World Cup Finals behind only reigning AOCAF Champions Farfadillis, the Eels would be facing off against the third highest ranked team in their half, twelfth ranked Pasarga, in their first knockout round fixture. While it may not be quite as juicy a high profile battle as on the Apoxian half of the draw between the projected top two nations in the multiverse, South Covello and Vilita, there is certainly some history between Turori and Pasarga that will be drawn upon in the build up to the Round of 16 clash.

While few of the Turori's current roster were around for the match, the Veteran Colonial Sile goalkeeper G.Q. Disterfred II who got a rare start for the National Team in the 4-2 Matchday 3 victory over Darmen was also the goalkeeper of record for the Turori National team during Matchday 2 of the World Cup 74 Group Stage against Pasarga. Like they did against Darmen, Disterfred conceded two goals on the day to the Wanderers but unlike at the Castle de Mot, Disterfred had no support from the attack as the Turori National Team were shut out as goals from Szölôsi Oszlár and Curtis Théberge were the difference on the day as Pasarga defeated Turori 2-0. Unable to rebound against Ko-oren on Matchday 3 the Turori National Team were bounced from the World Cup 74 finals the beginning of an undesirable spiral between Group Stage Exits and failing to qualify for the World Cup altogether that some have argued set Turorian Internationstatal footsport back half a generation. It wouldn't be until World Cup 79 that the Turorians would finally return to the knockout rounds and then World Cup 81 when the Turori National Team for the first time in its history advanced beyond the Quarter-Final Stage.

The Turori National Team have now been eliminated in the knockout rounds by the eventual World Cup Champion twice in the previous three World Cup Finals and so it is possible that good things await the winner of the Round of 16 Clash at Aranfield Bridge in Everlin.

by **Vilita** » Thu Apr 11, 2019 3:09 am

Golden Eagles Finally Solve Jungle Cats but Vilita Survive

The Garganaut, Dwile, Apox :: While it would be just the second meeting in the World Cup Finals between Vilita and Mercedini it would be the seventh meeting in all competitions between the two sides who had become very familiar with each other over the previous 4 World Cup Cycles. The match brought the promise of a high scoring affair as historical meetings between Vilita and Mercedini produced on average six goals between the two sides although every single one of those matchups ultimately ended in a Vilitan victory.

Both teams came out of the gate fast and within just over 20 minutes both had found their way onto the scoresheet. Mercedini got things started in the 12th minute when their top striker Daniel Dostalok set the tone with an outstanding effort that left Mako Canopii with no chance to react as the ball screamed by into the back of the net. The Jungle Cats answered quickly however through their own top goalscorer and #1 striker Sipke Tarala. The scores would remain level through half time but things got going quickly in the second half when Mercedini retook the lead when Johannes Nymark's cross-turned shot stunned the Vilitan defense and especially Yeaddin Owls net minder Mako Canopii who looked a bit bemused in hindsight at how they had gotten beat from that angle.

The Golden Eagles brought in some defensive support after scoring their second goal in an attempt to secure the three points that would see them through to the Round of 16 in place of their reigning World Cup Champion opposition. The move seemed to backfire however as the newly introduced youngster Liam Koi struggled to deal with the enormity of the situation they had been thrust into. Koi's first touch was a whiff that went unpunished as there were no Vilitan players around, allowing the Tropicorp based defender to recover and play the ball across second time to Johannes Nymark. While no one had thought much of the incident it was just five minutes later that Koi's second blunder of the game would prove costly for Mercedini as the ball came to Koi's feet as Mercedini worked the ball around the back an an effort to work off the clock, Koi lost control of the ball between their legs and struggled to regain possession. This time Fishtii Blikala was just yards away and the Marine Coast United attacker quickly identified the fear in Koi's eyes, stuck out a leg to knock the ball free and then was off to the races with Mercedini net minder Daniel Hosset never having a chance to stop the shot that would level the scoreline at 2-2.

Now the Jungle Cats were back in control of the match and in the table as with the Equestrian States leading against Juvencus the Vilitan National Team would be through with a draw against Mercedini. Having taken over the run of play after the Golden Eagles had changed their shape, however, the Jungle Cats weren't done. Instead of sitting back to protect the draw the Vilitans pushed forward looking for all three points that would ensure their progression atop Gorup B regardless of other results. The pressure would ultimately pay off as the Jungle Cats got their first lead of the match with just a quarter of an hour left to play after a corner kick that was delivered by Va'a-Rio Kiwavn. The delivery was exception but the save from Hosset was even better getting a reactionary leg on the downward header from substitute Rojara Tiones. Fortunately for the Jungle Cats, the rebound went directly to the feet of midfielder Jurzen Devmiko who made no mistake and buried the ball in the back of the net to give the Jungle Cats a 3-2 lead.

With their World Cup exit looming, the Golden Eagles were forced to throw everything into the attack. While they would ultimately fall short of their goal of advancing to the World Cup knockout rounds they would take something away with them and that would be surviving a match against a team from the Vilitan Cove without losing. After it was his blunder that gave the Jungle Cats a path back into the match on the hour mark, substitute defender Liam Koi took the first step down the road to redemption by heading in the equalizing goal ten minutes from full time. The 3-3 draw left very few winners on the day as Mercedini crashed out of the World Cup and the Vilitan National Team failed to claim victory in Group B resulting in the most difficult draw of any World Cup 82 Round of 16 matchup.

There were small positives to take away for both sides, however. For Mercedini, it was the first time in recent history that they went into a match against Vilita or Turori and came away victorious. Specifically against the Vilitan National Team the Golden Eagles had lost six consecutive matches so while they failed to advance to the World Cup Knockout Rounds they were at least able to break an untenable losing streak against one of the top sides in the multiverse. For the Jungle Cats, it was a return to their attacking form after having been held below their average for the cycle with just two goals per game in their opening two matches, the Jungle Cats put three past Daniel Hosset in Dwile and will need to tap deeply into that magical goal-scoring well if they are going to find success against their Round of 16 opponent who have yet to concede a single goal during these World Cup Finals.

Vilita [3] - [3] Mercedini

:: Vilita Goalscorers ::
:: 21' Sipke Tarala
:: 60' Fishtii Blikala
:: 74' Jurzen Devmiko

:: Vilita Statistics ::
:: Possession: 53%
:: Shots on Target: 7
:: Corner Kicks: 9

:: Mercedini Statistics ::
:: Possession: 47%
:: Shots on Target: 7
:: Corner Kicks: 9

:: Mercedini Goalscorers ::
:: 12' Daniel Dostalok
:: 50' Johannes Nymark
:: 80' Liam Koi

Vilita Jungle Cats Lineup v. Mercedini ::
[GK]Mako Canopii, [D.]Jirak Trikala, [D.]Kwuimekii Hentetii, [D.]Jirijii Januaa, [ML] Limu Katarakhna, [MC] Jurzen Devmiko, [MC]Va'a-Rio Kiwavn, [MC] Cavuna Aquafek, [MR] Tripate Falcon, [FC]Sipke Tarala, [FC]Fishtii Blikala
BENCH::
[FC]Nii'arala Milaaso, [FC]Kiliko Riazen, [M]Polaox Torerun, [M]Karisto Monafog, [U ]Nuola Brenzil, [D]Rojara Tiones, [GK]Maratopa Inita-Arua

World Cup Final Rematch awaits in Apox

While it will only be a Round of 16 fixture it will certainly be one of the most closely watched affairs of the entire World Cup 82 finals as the defending World Cup Champion and Runner Up square off at the 45,000 capacity Celebratory Stadium in Cawln, Apox home of FC Harpoon. While there had been some discussion about potentially switching venues to the near-double capacity Stadium of Apox in Dwile it is currently believed that things will proceed as they were foretold in the original scheduling plan with the Commonwealth of Baker Park v. Cosumar match up going ahead as planned at the home of the Apox National Team.

Regardless of the number of fans attending the match in person, the chance to revisit the World Cup Final from just one cycle ago so early in the tournament is likely to draw a large scale increase in match viewership across the multiverse and both advancement in the World Cup Finals and the #1 ranking position in the multiverse on the line with Vilita take on South Covello in the World Cup 82 Round of 16.

It would be the second straight meeting between the two sides with virtually the same stakes as it was the same two nations stepping out onto the pitch at the CoCoCo Stadium in New City, Orlandiana, Free Republics for the World Cup 81 Final with the World Cup Trophy and first place in the internationstatal rankings on the line. While there would be no World Cup Trophy awarded to the winner at the Celebratory Stadium, the winner would be earning the chance to continue fighting for the World Cup title by advancing through to the Quarter Final round.

While the stakes were just as high - some could argue even higher as the pressure of failing to advance from the Round of 16 may be even higher than the expectations of winning the World Cup Final, many neutral observers would be hoping that the fact that the matchup between Vilita and South Covello was taking place at such an early stage of the World Cup Finals could permit the teams to be more free flowing and open to risk taking compared with the fairly slow pace of the World Cup 81 Final in the Free Republics.

It was a crisp afternoon and as the fans poured into the newly re-constructed CoCoCo Stadium in New City, Orlandiana they were greeted by neon-lighted Cocoabo on the logo for the CoCoCo, the Turorian logistics and holding conglomerate that had bankrolled the arena's reconstruction through sponsorship dollars and a unique partnership with Lonngeylin, Vilita based Lonngeylin Lightworx. While it might have been a more storybook matchup had the Turori National Team defeated Vilita in the Semi-Finals to face off inside a stadium sponsored by a Turori-backed mega corporation against South Covello, one of the largest benefactors of the CoCoCo conglomerates expansion and trade tourtes, the Vilitan National Team was worried more about writing their own pages in the history books and the coaching staff would make sure that there were no emotions standing in the way of a potential World Cup triumph for the Jungle Cats making a handful of tactical changes in the week preceding the Championship game.

When the teams came out of the tunnel to take part in the ultra-long pre-game ceremonies that included a sky-diving Cocoabo and chatter of the recently completed Free Republics election cycle, there was a surprise in store as it was Lonngeylin Coast goalkeeper Cilamara Issah who was donning the gloves, not the Yeaddin Owls Mako Canopii who had started three of the Vilitan National team's World Cup Finals matches thus far. There was no doubt that Issah would be ready, however, and perhaps the coaching staff were looking to add an extra layer of composure to the Vilitan defensive corps with Issah between the sticks.

When the match finally got underway it was the restless fans who provided the most entertaining action of the first half singing their chants and trying to will their teams on if they were attending in support of either Vilita or South Covello; or, just looking to learn some new chants and hoping the action would pick up on the pitch for those who were neutral observers. South Covello's Coconut Charles ended up having the best chance of the first half as Charles was able to fire a wicked shot off the outstretched palm of Issah. Due to the angle of the shot, the Issah save would go out to touch for a throw in just near the corner flag on the one side although. Nothing would come from the throw in other than a chance for fans who were sat near the touchline getting an opportunity to chant and jeer loudly depending on their affiliations at the throw in taker who in this case was Dexter Yankee.

The fans looked to entertain themselves throughout the half time interval enjoying making songs about random fans who had been shown up on the gigantic Lonngeylin Lightworx inspired jumbo screens inside the CoCoCo Stadium and the local camera folks seemed equally to be enjoying the gamut even more than covering the match itself as on teh day the Rebels ultra-defensive style of play seemed to be the dominant factor when compared with the Jungle Cats attacking style. Perhaps just at the moment when the fans had run out of new material to keep their attention and it seemed certain that the match was destined for a goalless penalty shootout, the Jungle Cats finally found their opportunity when the youthful substitute Limu Katarakhna attracted the attention of the Rebel defenders with some dazzling footwork allowing Lonngeylin Coast striker Sipke Tarala to find a bit of space and call for the ball. Katarakhna quickly found Tarala who had the ball at their feet for mere moments before firing it just under the arm of South Covellos young captain Matthew Taylor and into the back of the net sending the traveling Jungle Cat Faithful into raptures. The celebrations were likely over done and the Vilitans were risking a booking for time wasting as they ran over to the sideline to celebrate in front of their supporters. However, given the pace of the match thus far and the timing of the goal in the 81st minute, it certainly seemed as if that would be the decisive goal in the World Cup 81 final.

The South Covellans had already committed to their defensive structure and their late attacking push was snuffed out by Issah and the Vilitan backline. When the final whistle blew, the Jungle Cats once again found the energy to celebrate with their fans having won the World Cup Title in a stadium sponsored by a Turorian Registered company based in South Covello having defeated Turori and South Covello in the Semi-Final and Final rounds to accomplish the feat.

While the Jungle Cats and their fans would take full advantage of the opportunity to celebrate, the Turorians and South Covellans would return home to re-group and start back from square one. Now, just one cycle later, Margaret has decided there would be no reason to wait until the World Cup 82 Semi-Finals to see a rematch between World Cup 81's Semi-Final contestants. Instead, despite being the two highest ranked nations in the multiverse remaining in the World Cup Finals, South Covello and Vilita have been drawn to face each other in the first knockout round of the World Cup 82 finals.

The entire World Cup 82 cycle has been highly unpredictable for the Vilitan National Team. The Jungle Cats have experienced everything from a pair of seven-goal victories to home defeats against virtually unheard of nations in qualifying, to a World Cup Finals group stage that saw them defeat the #9 team in the multiverse, the Equestrian States, but fail to defeat either of the teams in Group B who came into the tournament ranked outside the Top 25. The result saw the Jungle Cats advance to the knockout rounds with the fewest points of any nation that had advanced to the last sixteen. By contrast, South Covello have been extremely methodical in their approach to the World Cup Finals, retaining the same approach that had led them to the runner-up position in World Cup 82 and topping the chart with three consecutive 1-0 victories in the Group Stage to top their group and advance to the Quarter Final round.

Over their previous 12 matches the Vilita National Team have averaged over 3 goals per match and haven't scored fewer than two goals in a single game. The seven goals scored by the Jungle Cats in the Group Stage were tops among nations that failed to win their Group and third overall behind the Commonwealth of Baker Park and Audioslavia. On the other hand, South Covello have yet to concede a goal in the World Cup Finals and had the fewest goals scored of any nation who topped their Group having produced the absolutely minimum amount, three goals. These two polar opposite teams will clash once again in an enticing battle of Attacking Prowess in the offensive siege of the Vilita Jungle Cats against Defensive Rigidity and the fortress that has been the South Covello Rebels with nothing but pride and a place in the World Cup 82 Quarter Finals on the line.

Last.fm · by **Cosumar** » Thu Apr 11, 2019 9:10 am

He had been criticized. Hard. Harder than Bryger or V or Isla. Even though he was the one who'd actually put the goal on the scoreboard against Qasden.

That annoyed him. Enormously.

Romikk chuckled wryly to himself, thinking about all the lovely online detractors who'd sprung out of the woodwork this week. "Valgard still playing scared since his injury?" ... "Valgard languishing up top, giving no energy, INEXCUSABLE"... "Penalties are the only way this guy can score for Cosumar anymore lol"... "Is Valgard even trying to get involved in this match? He's just walking around"... "Time to face the facts that Rom is 30 and might not be the best #1 striker for Cosumar anymore. Arden Lemons looking good..."

And, the hot take that really made his stomach prickle most of all: "Has Valgard ever really delivered in the biggest moments for Cosumar? Outside of the AOCAF and his breakout World Cup, I mean."

The ignorance! Of all the forgetful, idiotic, ungrateful, unfounded suggestions...

He sat up a bit and chomped vigorously into his second banana of the morning. Normal people seemed to think that athletes lived in a bubble, oblivious to the debate and discussion around them online. What a load of crock. Of course, players are gonna read Twii.tur and Kreddit to see what's being said about them. It's an impossible temptation to resist. At least, it is for Romikk Valgard. He would even regularly scroll the Cosumarite Courier message boards and comment sections. It was usually fun. A good healthy ego boost. He'd never given the Cosumarite or Euran fans much to criticize, in his opinion.

So Romikk wasn't used to reading much negative about himself. But there sure was a lot to hear after that 4-1 shitshow. Some were even calling for Pearce to bench him against 95X.

Shouldn't his blood, sweat and myriad triumphs over the years have earned him more faith, more loyalty than that? How could the fans who'd been along on this whole epic ride that was his career seize upon the first opportunity to turn on him? After one down performance! Okay, maybe one whole lackluster qualifying cycle. But still. He was fucking Romikk Valgard, scorer of more international goals before the age of 30 than any previous Cosumarite! And the digital world had started to sour to him nonetheless.

Thus, he'd went into the showdown at The Celebratory Stadium with a virulent mix of potassium and anger as his new primary fuel. He made sure to put his stamp on the game from the very first second. Nearly all dangerous actions ran through him. Each little piece of play that served as a middle finger to those new skeptics fueled him further. His blood was boiling with rage, and he could feel the pulse of the game flowing through it. 75 minutes later, he had a hat trick in the World Cup.

He hadn't scored goals that felt quite that satisfying hitting the back of the net since the first few following his yearlong injury recovery. Maybe the undesired publicity had been good for him, spurred him on, re-sparked *something*. There was no way, of course, that he'd become complacent in the slightest bit with the national team - never, not him - but maybe, Romikk reflected, he was the type of player who needed hardship, who needed to be challenged in order to shine his brightest.

As he licked the last morsels of breakfast banana off his long fingers and rose from his hotel bed in Dwile for the day, Romikk Valgard saw an alert buzzed through on his phone. It was the morning headline on The Cosumarite Courier regarding last night's match. Despite his name in the headline, he didn't even open it. He dismissed the notification and grabbed his bag to take down to the team meeting with Pearce.

As he walked down the hotel stairs, he pulled up a different piece of reading for motivation. An article he'd bookmarked after the Qasden match, entitled Why Romikk Valgard can't lead Cosumar to a World Cup. THAT'S what he needed on his mind during the elimination game against Baker Park. THAT was going to be the new Romikk Ritual for World Cup 82. Bananas and anger, baby.

Valgard's hat trick lifts Cosumar into second round
4-1 win over 95X offers redemption for striker, Pearce

CAWLN -- Romikk Valgard scored a hat trick against 95X in Cosumar's final match of Group D play in Apox, saving the Vanquishers from elimination and returning the program to the Round of 16 after missing out last edition for the first time in nine World Cups.

It was do-or-die at The Celebratory Stadium thanks to a shocking defeat by the same 4-1 margin to Qasden two days earlier. The bombshell scoreline amplified previously subdued mumbles about Valgard's lack of final product this cycle as well as despairing cries that, with Nephara likely to win big on MD3, Alexander Pearce's boys and girls were on course to crash out prematurely once again. But then, in dramatic fashion, Valgard delivered a vintage performance, doubling his goal total from the rest of the World Cup 82 cycle combined and ensuring Pearce would remain gainfully employed for at least a few more days.

Valgard scored two of his goals in the latter part of the first half to crack the game wide open at 3-0, following Bryger Tidesson's 14th minute opener.

Another feather of redemption in Pearce's cap is that one of his only two changes from the starting lineup against Qasden - Arden Lemons at striker - assisted Tidesson's opener with a grass-cutting diagonal ball following a nice piece of hold-up play inside the top of the box. Tidesson then slid a ball across from the right to tee up Valgard's wide-open first goal. Valgard's next finish would be just as easy. 95X center-half Chaya Concord-Fourteenth aimlessly passed the ball into midfield directly to Kai-Kai Mokumdarian, who hit a splicing first-time pass straight back to Valgard running in behind her.

Sydney Hardin would pull one back for 95X in the 51st minute after collecting a clipped pass from Lauren Hills, but that was their only shot-on-goal of the match. Cosumar's lead was never really threatened. Valgard completed his hat trick and sealed Group D's 2nd place beyond doubt in the 75th minute, curling a shot off the underside of the crossbar after a headed knock-down by 6"6 forward partner Vega Zeale-Riddick. The upshot? Cosumar through at Nephara's expense despite a puzzling group stage that featured some of the Vanquishers' best and worst moments in recent World Cup memory.

"We knew we were going to play great soccer today," Valgard told The Courier post-match. "We did not play great soccer the other day, it is true, but with the kind of players we have, that does not happen two times in a row. It is our dream not just to be here at the World Cup, but to advance far for Cosumar. We have the chance to do that now and we never doubted that we would."

Ulsa's reigning EFA Golden Boot winner will next carry the Dragonbanner into an elimination match against Baker Park. With an emphasis on youth evidenced by their deep Di Bradini Cup runs, the Commonwealth has developed into a side to be reckoned with over recent years. The "Bees" of Baker Park play an attacking brand of football that obliterated Bongo Johnson and even proved too much for hosts Apox in Group A. They scored two goals and pushed 8th-ranked Free Republics to their limit as well. While Cosumar might be slightly favored, they'll need to be wary of notable players such as veteran #6 Erica Shaw, forwards Alex Sandoval (a star in the emerging BSL) and Sabrina Patton (Chenoworth Rovers), and especially the talented young midfielder Annabeth Westmoreland (teammate of Lemons at Hondo FC). There's already some familiarity there. The two teams met in their final group match in the last World Cup, an encounter that served as a consolation 2-1 victory for Cosumar after being brutally eliminated by Brenecia.

Pearce predictably dismissed the question of whether he considers his team favorites to defeat Baker Park again and advance to the Quarterfinals, but he did promise a bold, assertive Cosumar that would not shy away from taking risks or "playing with nothing to lose".

After seeing four goals go in against 95X, Pearce will probably be tempted to roll the dice on more attacking-oriented tactics and lineups. Pearce would be justified in starting the new eleven that handled 95X (Lemons up top with Valgard and Svensson steadying the defense), but it's also quite feasible that we may see a first World Cup start for somebody like Olvir Texström, an unabashedly direct, goal-minded winger with game-breaking pace. After all, the Baker Park back line doesn't have a ton of speed and is arguably the Bees' weakest link.

Regardless of who steps onto the pitch for this crucial elimination game, there is one concern about the Cosumarite attack that could make fans hesitate. Only two players have been able to score a goal so far at World Cup 82 . With four and two apiece, Valgard and Tidesson have been the sole goal providers. Isla Sibučić, for example, led the way in Qualifying but has been quiet here in Apox.

While Romikk Valgard would surely love to score every single goal en route to a trophy, the Vanquishers probably need more diversification on the goal-scoring front if they want to go far. That said, no one will complain if the Romikk from the 95X match sticks around and bags another hat trick.

by **Turori** » Thu Apr 11, 2019 9:14 am

Cocoa-bo retreat from Cassadaigua with Tail Between Legs

Mliona, Turori :: The Cocoa-bo marketing team has gone back to the drawing board after a seemingly failed campaign to introduce Cocoa-bo to the Cassadaigan market. After the announcement by Queen Cassie II that sporting venues throughout the Matriarchy of Cassadaigua would looking for corporate sponsorship to help pay the bills and inject some new culture and influence into Dagan cities, the marketing department at Cocoa-bo looked to leverage the opportunity for expansion into Rushmore for the first time by introducing there Everything's Better with Cocoa-bo campaign along with pop up delectable shops in the Capital City of Concord Heights.

Cocoa-bo's original Cassadaigua's better with Cocoa-bo! concept

Remnants of an abandoned Cocoa-bo campaign found within Concord Heights

However, after spending a few weeks on the ground in Concord Heights, the forward deployed Cocoa-bo outreach teams had little positive feedback about their reception in Cassadaigua or the intake of their delectables on offer. While the initial probing teams do not typically bring with them the full complement of Cocoa-bo offerings with them when first assessing the viability of a new location, they certainly bring the historically popular offerings and best sellers based on data taken from existing Cocoa-bo locations. Then, once Cocoa-bo is accepted they begin offering customized delectables with a local flair such as the enormously popular QuadrupleCocoCoCo-bo in South Covello.

However now it seems that, at least for the near term, the Extra CocoaPinka-bo will be no more than a curious test case inside a Mliona delectables design lab as Cocoa-bo have recalled their forward deployed outreach associates from Cassadaigua with a view to re-deploying them throughout Apox and Valanora for the World Cup 82 Finals. Having failed to establish a foothold within Cassadaigua the company never reached the point of deploying recruiters to hire local staff to support Cocoa-bo sales and distribution in the absence of the outreach team so for the time being the Cocoa-bo has become an endagered consumption in the Matriarchy.

Coincident with Cocoa-bo's announcement that they would be pulling their Outreach Associates from Cassadaigua was the news that Cassadaigua based aviation firm Dagan Airways had agreed a deal with the City of Concord Heights to become the official partner and naming rights title sponsor of not only the Concord Heights Stadium (now known as the Dagan Airways Stadium) but also the multipurpose Dagan Airways Arena and even the autoracing track formerly known as the Concord Heights Speedway which will take on the moniker Dagan Airways Speedway.

Cocoa-bo officials will likely see the move as a blow to their hopes of expanding into the region of Rushmore, a previously untapped market for the Cocoa-bo brand. While they may now need to revisit their rate of expansion, Cocoa-bo Outreach Associates can adjust their focus back on their bread and butter regions: Covellan Esportiva and Atlantian Oceania. With the World Cup 82 Finals being contested in Apox and Valanora it presents Cocoa-bo with a perfect opportunity to leverage existing bases in South Covello and the Equestrian States to bring the Cocoa-bo brand into the mainstream in Apox and Valanora. With Apox positioned just across the Barbossa sea from Cocoa-bo's Esportivan headquarters on the CoCoCo Islands off the coast of southern South Covello and Valanora neighboring both the Equestrian States and Banija as well as being regionally accessible to the Cocoa-bo corporate headquarters in Mliona, Turori the Cocoa-bo team have already established a succesful business model in those regions and would see expansion to Apox and Valanora as a core part of their market.

While Cocoa-bo haven't ruled out a return to Cassadaigua or Rushmore in the future; For now, abandoned Cocoa-bo marketing material has been given its own section in the Concord Heights refuge station while remnants of "Cassadaigua's Better with Cocoa-bo!" decals can still be found on street posts and the sides of mailboxes.

:: Cocoa-Bo Eatery

Cocoa-bo, an establishment taking its name directly from the beloved national animal of Turori, started as a small dessert shop in Kionao. However, it was only after they added chocolate topped drinks to their menu that their popularity started to soar. As more and more patrons scooped up their chocolate flavored pick-me-ups, demand for the Cocoa-bo product skyrocketed and soon new franchised locations were popping up all throughout Turori. Shifting to more of a social 'hang-out' then just a casual place to drop in, get a dessert, and leave, the new locations started adding small foods such as Bagels for the morning, Soups and Sandwiches for Lunch or Dinner and Salads for the entire day.

Cocoa-bo has expanded outside of Vilita & Turori. Their first regional location was opened in Andossa Se Mitrin Vega and Cocoa-bo has opened temporary locations during major internationstatal events such as the World Cup Finals with past locations appearing in Drawkland and Cosumar. Cocoa-bo has a permanent presence in South Covello and is also continuing to grow its presence in Starblaydia, the Equestrian States and the Free Republics. The company continues to further increase its image by partnering with Motorsport teams and expanding the company footprint across Atlantian Oceania and beyond. Cocoa-bo are also the kit sponsor for Mliona-Lpaka AFC in the Vilitan League.

Cocoa-bo's largest current markets are, in order, Turori; South Covello, the Equestrian States, Vilita and the Free Republics

by **Pasarga** » Thu Apr 11, 2019 11:50 am

After ninety minutes, it looks like this game is going to end a nil-nil- draw, a very disappointing way for The Wanderers to be bounced out of the World Cup given how much they have dominated on the day. The opening day collapse against Farfadillis is looking to come back and bite the squad hard, as they will be losing out a spot in the knockouts on the goal difference tiebreaker thanks to the heavy loss. Credit where credit is due, Banija has withstood the possession based assault on their half and have looked quite deadly on the counter when they have been allowed to break, but it has been the Wanderers who have had the better chances on the day.

Obey Chidiebere is in the corner trying to kill off the last few moments left before the final whistle and earn his squad their deserved trip in the Knockouts here in the Eternal Empire. Oh wait, it looks like Romano is going in to pressure here and on HE's GOTTEN POSSESION! Romano quickly pivots and drives in a low, hard cross towards the near post. There's two players in black kits running towards the area to try and get on to this cross, is this it? Is that....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alexander Jager had done a lot already in his first two and a half decades, winning a Di Bradini Cup and becoming one of the best players in Apox as a teenager among them. That win in the DBC had quieted a lot of the detractors that had blasted him for not staying in Paulinthal after coming up through CA Paulinthal's academy system. After all, being one of the best players from one of the best teams in all of the dual islands was something assumed that Alexander was aspiring to. Little did they know how much more he wanted, how much more he wanted to be than just the next big thing to come out of CAP's academy. Too few back in the islands just had their vision stuck inside the country and not what was beyond that.

However the last two to four years, his star had quit rising and had come to a bit of a stall, despite doing good work in the Eura League and getting some accolades there. Yet with the national team, where all of the eyes really are when it all comes down to it. Living in the shadow of Thor was not making things easy, especially the last year, when Alexander thought he had finally done all his waiting and was about to become a starter on a regular basis for the national team, yet Thor had managed to hold off the effects of aging and was still leading the charge. Jager was happy for his friend and mentor, that even at the age he was, he was still able to be the sort of striker that put fear into the hearts of the defenders who had to try and mark him. All the same, Alexander believed that he could do the role just as well, if not better than the talismanic striker, to be the one who would lead the Wanderers once more into the footballing elite.

That was his ego talking, the same ego that had seen him butt heads with a few of his coaches and training managers from time to time. It was his ego that was his strength though, no matter how much others thought it was a detriment to him and his character, that it got in the way of him achieving more than he already had. It was his ego that let him continue on even when there were times he thought about hanging up his boots or looking for a different club to ply his trade at. It was his ego that told him that as long as he kept doing what he was doing, there would be a time when he would be the star of the national team and all those in the world would give him the same respect afforded to Thor. It was his ego that would drive him to greatness, it was his ego that had him bounding forward as Romano put in the cross that had it everything like it.

His ego told him not to even watch as the ball cannoned off his cleats and curled towards the far post, far beyond what Bereket could possibly hope to extend out and save. His ego already knew the result, even before the ball was ruffling into the side netting and rolling back into the back of the net, as half the crowd erupted into cheers and the others stood stunned silent. His ego basked in that reaction, knowing that for now that he was not just Paulinthal's favored son, the star of the Wanderers, but all the eyes of the world were upon him and that replays of his strike would be played for years to come. His ego told him that all would be his, that the Era of Jager was now at hand, and that a date in the knockouts was now the Wanderer's fate. It was all he wanted, to come clutch in the moment that his national team needed him, now he wanted to do it again and again as he drank in the feeling, savoring it and desiring it more. Perhaps it was not his ego at all but that driven personality that so many champions had and he was now hoping to emulate all the way to a second World Cup win for the Wanderers.

by **Alasdair I Frosticus** » Thu Apr 11, 2019 1:31 pm

OOC: I was actually going to write an epic faux Vogon-style poem about the Mriin match; but then I saw the last Turori RP, and something clicked....

Delicious Chocolate-Topped Cocoa-bo
By Marindian the No-So-Magnificent

You'll never know how much we really love Cocoa-bo
You'll never know how much we really care

Listen, do you want to know a secret?
Do you promise not to tell?
Come a little closer
Let me whisper in your ear
Say the words you long to hear...

We defeated Mriin, ooh
Listen (Cocoa-bo), do you want to know a secret? (Cocoa-bo)
Do you promise not to tell? (Cocoa-bo)
Whoa-oh-oh, closer (Cocoa-bo)
Let me whisper in your ear (Cocoa-bo)
Say the words you long to hear
We defeated Mriin, ooh

I've known the secret for an hour or two
Nobody knows, just we two
Tzimisces dosed us up on chocolate drink
Didn't give us enough time to think
The Satyrs never knew what hit 'em
With delicious Cocoa-bo in our system

Listen (Cocoa-bo), do you want to know a secret? (Cocoa-bo)
Do you promise not to tell? (Cocoa-bo)
Whoa-oh-oh, closer (Cocoa-bo)
Let me whisper in your ear (Cocoa-bo)
Say the words you long to hear
We defeated Mriin, ooh

I've known the secret for an hour or two
Nobody knows, just we two
We drink litres of the stuff in the Empire
So much that mundies might expire
But we're not a big market for the tasty drop
'Cause we pay for nothing from that mundy lot.

We defeated Mriin, ooh
Listen (Cocoa-bo), do you want to know a secret? (Cocoa-bo)
Do you promise not to tell? (Cocoa-bo)
Whoa-oh-oh, closer (Cocoa-bo)
Let me whisper in your ear (Cocoa-bo)
Say the words you long to hear
We defeated Mriin, ooh

by **Farfadillis** » Thu Apr 11, 2019 1:55 pm

The Kamikaze

A site dedicated to Farf football

Domestic League Section

Format Change
submitted just now

I know most of you expect me to direct my blogging efforts towards the ongoing World Cup. But, as an avid follower of the Farf Freitball Ligá - or what remains of it - I'll have to ignore Farfadillis' rather unimportant match against Damukuni this time. Why? Because I've got a trusted source from inside the FFFF, perhaps the biggest organization left standing in Farfadillis, and he's told me there will be radical changes for the upcoming season.

First off, all foreign contracts have been terminated. So no more foreign players. This obviously means that the league will experience an enormous drop in quality, with players like Bacary Na'Kale and Konrad Gosforth leaving it. But what if I told you this is not the most radical change? Cause let's be honest, with the current state of affairs, it's actually a surprise these players were still around to begin with.

So, what're these radical changes all about, I hear you ask? Well, it's complicated... But I'll give it a shot! I'll preface this by saying I'm, to my own astonishment, completely in favour of the measures the FFFF has taken this time around. Has the FFFF suddenly gone sane? Probably not, but it's encouraging that they're not screwing up literally everything.

First off, say goodbye to the promotion/relegation system. At least for now. With most of the lower-league clubs having now folded, this shouldn't come as much of a surprise. The current model was simply not sustainable. You might be thinking we will now have the same twenty teams in the first tier every year, but you'd be wrong. There's no first division anymore. Sort of. I say sort of because, if we're being technical, we do. But if we do, we'd probably be breaking a record. Ninety teams in the top tier, how does that sound? Very daft and thus distinctly Farf, yes.

Basically, due to how inter-state travel has become... considerably hazardous, the first half of the season will consist of state-wide leagues. That means nine leagues, one for each state. Whether winning the state league is prestigious or not is up to the fans to decide, but things won't end there. The state leagues themselves will serve as qualifiers to the national league. Qualification will be a tricky matter. Here are the allotted spots for each league:

Puerto Farolero 6 slots, 1 play-off slot
Ferdullaele 6 slots, 1 play-off slot
Ruland 4 slots
Szoirsia 1 slot, 1 play-off slot
Frion 1 slot, 1 play-off slot
Karuvis 1 play-off slot
Induja 1 play-off slot
Giotomalepá 1 play-off slot
Pacifista 1 play-off slot

You're probably asking yourself "Huh? Play-off spots?" Yes, play-off spots. They will be straightforward: random seeding, one match, winners qualify. Where will they be played, to ensure neutrality? In Induja. This will naturally give Indujan teams an advantage, but no format is perfect.

The play-offs will be played in Induja because of a very important reason: the national league will be played in Induja. As Induja is the state at the center of the island, it minimizes the travelling necessary. Yes, the atmosphere will probably not be the same, but that's the least of our concerns right now. And yes, Indujan stadiums are wholly unequipped to deal with matches like Mâ Âlâmëómë against Dí Maozöxê.

So, after the double round robin state leagues, the national league will determine the champion of Farfadillis, and the qualifiers for UICA competitions. Just one round of games will be played, thanks to the advantage of playing in a neutral venue. Of course, there could be an Indujan team playing at home every game. But who cares, really? Indujans suck at football.

One interesting thing about this format change is that our league will no longer be professional. The biggest clubs will now be officially semi-professional, and lots of the teams in the league will be amateur, having never been professional before. This is largely because finding ten teams for each state league was pretty difficult, considering how things haven't been going super well lately.

So, what can we look forward to? Well, let me show you:

Faroleran League

Probably the most competitive team, and the one with the most talent across the board. We all know the Avenidas, Flamagua and Gran Faro (though they've declined horribly in the last few years). Tifón have occasionally made cameos in the FFL as well. The last three teams, though, will be unknown to almost everyone. I know they were unknown to me. However, I've done my research, and I can tell you a few things about them!

Eterna is from the city of Eterna. Defensor de Gâràý is from the city of Gâràý, close to the border with Ruland. Internacional de Luz del Sol, commonly referred to as Interluz, are from the city of Luz del Sol. That's it. That's all the information I could find. That's how obscure these teams are.

Expect this league to be the most tactically-advanced, both because the teams are better and because Faroleran teams pay a lot more attention to things such as marking and the off-side trap. Faroleran players tend to be very intelligent, though not as gifted physically as in some other states, so expect the league to reflect that.

Ferdullaelan League

Another very strong league. They've got five or six teams that wouldn't look out of their depth in the national league, and all of the teams have top fight experience, in most cases extensive at that. This will probably be the most fun state league to watch, because every team has an at the very least an outside chance of making it to the national league. Whoever gets a play-off spot here is very likely to make it to the national league, too, because the seventh best team is probably better than any of the leftovers the other leagues can offer.

Expect this league to be tactical, though not to the extent of the Faroleran league. The teams will be very technical, and they'll probably focus on wing play. Ferdullaelans love to exploit their pace, even though they only churn out mediocre wingers with one exception in their entire history in Friekder Dandalleion. None of these teams look like they could challenge for the national title, so competition to be "the best in what used to be the capital" will be fierce. Expect this league to be one of the most highly-contested.

Rulandese League

The most dangerous league, as we all know, but probably the most talented as well. They only get four spots because of how uneven it is. Two top teams, one decent one, one that was among the worst teams in the FFL, and then only amateur teams. However, the amateur teams in this league will be much, much better than the rest of the amateur teams. This is because Ruland has by far the best talent pool from which to draw players. Some of the players that pop up at these teams may become important players for top teams one day, who knows?

Expect this league to be by far the most offensive-minded. Also, the most violent. Players will not shy away from the occasional leg-breaker. Rulandese players don't preoccupy themselves very much with things such as defending.

This league will likely be a phallic measuring contest between Dí Maozöxê and Mâ Âlâmëómë.

Szoirsia League

Frion League

Induja League

Karuvis League

Giotomalepá League

Pacifista League

These are the rest of the leagues. None of them have much going for them. The only relatively good teams in them are René Skaé and Ausharmuj Marusi. You should expect these two, specially the former, to absolutely destroy their opponents. I'd be shocked if René Skaé didn't win every single game. Some other teams that have featured at the FFL at various points are present and you should, unsurprisingly, expect them to be among the best teams here. But for the most parts, you'll barely even notice these leagues exist, unless you live in the state where they are played.

Anyway, that concludes my rundown of the new league system. I'll keep you updated as I get more information.

by **Qusmo** » Thu Apr 11, 2019 2:01 pm

SPONY LUQ TELEVISION

Hello, all. Welcome to Spony Luq Television, broadcasting from Qanz, Qusmo. Qusmo’s national team has not only qualified for its first-ever World Cup but performed well in it. Goals scored by team captain Ilinx-Kepex Zev meant that Qusmo won its World Cup debut one-nil over Darmen & its group stage finale by the same score over Brenecia. Despite a loss to Turori by an identical scoreline, that vaulted Qusmo to second in Group F, advancing the debutants over the fifth-ranked team in the Multiverse & the world champions of just two cycles ago. However, they will have to take on another high-calibre team in the form of Farfadillis if they intend to extend the length of their run. With that, let’s get to our first question, from a viewer in Kareen, Valanora.

Farfadillis is such a good team & Qusmo is so new; does Qusmo really have a chance?

Yes, it is true; Qusmo is ranked only thirty-fourth, while Farfadillis is ranked sixth in the Multiverse. However, in order to reach this match, Qusmo had to defeat fifth-ranked Brenecia. It is possible.

That’s not to say that it’s particularly likely, however. Of seven qualifiers for World Cup 82 which did not qualify for World Cup 81, Qusmo is the only one which remains in the competition. Qusmo is only the lone Pot 4 team left standing. There’s no other way around it: every other team left in the knockout rounds is higher-ranked than Qusmo. The rankings seem to suggest that Qusmo won’t stay in the knockout rounds for long.

That said, if matches were decided on paper, we wouldn’t play them in the first place. This World Cup has already seen quite a few surprises. Fully half of Pot 1 has already been eliminated, including Brenecia, at the unlikely hands of Qusmo. Valanora has become the first World Cup co-host since Drawkland in World Cup 79 to fail to advance to the knockout rounds despite being the only co-host ranked within the top twenty in the Multiverse during that time. Qasden routed Cosumar five-one but then got picked apart to the tune of a three-nil score against Nephara the next matchday - but it was Qasden to win the group, Cosumar to advance, & Nephara to be eliminated. Eura earned six points, but it still was not enough to advance, which will surely do nothing to mild any regional rivalry the Rushmori nation may have with either Sargossa or Cassadaigua. &, of course, it was lowly Qusmo that stunned Brenecia to move on.

So, it can happen. & perhaps Farfadillis will be peeking ahead at the potential match calendar. Farfadillis is the third-highest-ranked team left in the tournament, & the top two teams - Vilita & South Covello - will play in the Round of Sixteen, in a World Cup 81 final rematch. Farfadillis would only have to play the winner of that match in the final, too. In the meantime, both of their potential quarterfinal opponents find themselves outside the top ten, & only one such team could meet them in the semifinals. Farfadillis could easily be overlooking the thirty-fourth-ranked World Cup debutants that stand before them, trying to peer ahead to see who their next opponent will be - or to imagine themselves lifting the World Cup trophy.

That would be a mistake, of course - & one we don’t think Farfadillis would make. Though Qusmo will be the only Pot 4 team to compete in the Round of Sixteen, many Pot 4 teams have made it through before, including three just last cycle. However, few have succeeded. Qusmo will be the fifteenth Pot 4 team to compete in the Round of Sixteen since World Cup 71, but one would have to go back all the way to World Cup 70 to find a Pot 4 team that has won a knockout stage match.

WC     Rk   Nation                  Ps   Gp   Pt      Round of Sixteen

WC82   78   Bongo Johnson            4    A    0
WC82   29   Mercedini                3    B    2
WC82   38   Jeruselem                4    C    0
WC82   46   95X                      4    D    1
WC82   30   Nova Anglicana           4    E    1
WC82   34   Qusmo                    2    F    6      v. Farfadillis
WC82   40   Damukuni                 4    G    0
WC82   47   Valladares               4    H    0

WC81   42   Apox                     4    A    2
WC81   48   Nova Anglicana           3    B    4
WC81   36   Eshan                    4    C    0
WC81   29   Cassadaigua              2    D    4      1-3 Ethane
WC81   37   Saltstead                4    E    3
WC81   40   Ko-oren                  2    F    5      0-1 Equestrian States
WC81   28   Kita-Hinode              3    G    3
WC81   30   Baker Park               2    H    4      0-1 South Covello

WC80   78   Free Republics           3    A    1
WC80   29   Juvencus                 4    B    0
WC80   38   Buyan                    4    C    1
WC80   46   Baker Park               3    D    3
WC80   30   Banija                   3    E    3
WC80   34   Barunia                  3    F    3
WC80   40   Savojarna                3    G    2
WC80   47   Darmen                   4    H    2

WC79   60   Cassadaigua              4    A    1
WC79   28   Mriin                    3    B    4
WC79   32   Eshan                    3    C    3
WC79   38   Sargossa                 4    D    1
WC79   54   Free Republics           4    E    0
WC79   29   Qasden                   4    F    1
WC79   79   95X                      4    G    1
WC79   39   Starblaydia              2    H    4      0-1 Bonesea (a.e.t.)

WC78   37   Eshan                    3    A    2
WC78   36   Drawkland                4    B    3
WC78   44   Starblaydia              4    C    1
WC78   33   Tumbra                   4    D    3
WC78   46   Mriin                    3    E    4
WC78   34   Nova Anglicana           4    F    1
WC78   63   Sargossa                 3    G    3
WC78   38   Spaam                    4    H    1

WC77   34   Anglatia                 2    A    4      1-3 Schottia (a.e.t.)
WC77   47   Eastfield Lodge          4    B    1
WC77   33   Port Christopher         4    C    0
WC77   32   Red Blackiland           3    D    4
WC77   81   Spaam                    4    E    0
WC77   36   Ethane                   4    F    1
WC77   67   Drawkland                4    G    1
WC77   41   Mercedini                3    H    3

WC76   31   Ficiscia                 4    A    0
WC76   29   Flardania                4    B    0
WC76   52   Port Christopher         3    C    2
WC76   41   Savalen                  3    D    3
WC76   34   Damukuni                 3    E    4
WC76   44   Chiata                   3    F    4
WC76   42   Fluvique                 4    G    0
WC76   37   Red Blackiland           4    H    0

WC75  102   Pridnestrovia            4    A    0
WC75   81   Savalen                  4    B    0
WC75   51   Chromatika               1    C    9      0-1 Barunia
WC75   48   Ficiscia                 4    D    2
WC75   38   Banguela                 3    E    1
WC75   41   Frenline Delpha          4    F    0
WC75   82   Bonesea                  1    G    7      1-3 Cosumar
WC75   77   West Angola              4    H    0

WC74   33   Semarland                3    A    3
WC74   58   San Llera                3    B    4
WC74   41   Super-Llamaland          4    C    0
WC74   34   Szavoda                  4    D    1
WC74   32   Gregoryisgodistan        2    E    4      0-0 Audioslavia (4-5 p.)
WC74   59   Banguela                 4    F    0
WC74   37   Omerica                  3    G    3
WC74   35   Schottia                 4    H    0

WC73   57   Flardania                4    A    2
WC73   43   Ceni                     3    B    3
WC73   46   Schottia                 4    C    1
WC73   47   Abanhfleft               3    D    2
WC73   49   Zenic                    3    E    4
WC73   42   Semarland                4    F    0
WC73   48   Kernansquillec           2    G    4      1-3 Pasarga
WC73   48   Starblaydia              4    H    2

WC72   45   Semarland                4    A    0
WC72   25   San José Guayabal        3    B    4
WC72   33   Kirisaki                 3    C    3
WC72   86   Krytenia                 2    D    4      1-3 Valanora (a.e.t.)
WC72   40   Gregoryisgodistan        4    E    0
WC72   38   Sargossa                 3    F    4
WC72   43   Sandwich Territories     3    G    3
WC72   28   Yttribia                 3    H    3

WC71   24   Falcus                   1    A    6      0-1 Nephara
WC71   25   Apox                     2    B    4      3-3 Holy Republican Empire (2-4 p.)
WC71   40   The Royal Barangay       4    C    0
WC71   22   Kandorith                1    D    7      2-3 Barunia (a.e.t.)
WC71   32   Star United States       3    E    4
WC71   34   Gloriax                  2    F    4      1-3 Pasarga
WC71   35   Brenecia                 4    G    0
WC71   39   Nova Anglicana           4    H    0

WC70   42   Sargossa                 4    A    2
WC70   44   Brenecia                 4    B    3
WC70   41   HopNation                1    C    9      5-4 Super-Llamaland
WC70   39   Super-Llamaland          2    D    5      4-5 HopNation
WC70   34   Buyan                    2    E    6      0-1 Polar Islandstates
WC70   60   Nova Anglicana           3    F    3
WC70   56   Falcus                   4    G    1
WC70   49   Kandorith                4    H    0

As a note on the rankings listed in the table, the World Cup 73 ranks appear to be inaccurate, as both Kernansquillec & Starblaydia are ranked forty-eighth, yet Zenic is ranked forty-ninth; however, this reflects the official rankings provided by the tournament organizers. Further, the World Cup 71 ranks used are inflated, as only post-tournament rankings were available.

At that tournament, surprise group winners HopNation, having taken a perfect nine points from Group C, defeated fellow Pot 4 nation Super-Llamaland by a five-four score, before felling Legalese one-nil in the quarterfinal. After a three-all draw through two hours, HopNation lost two-three on penalties to Felix in the semifinals, putting an end to the dream, & they were unable to score in a one-nil loss to Polar Islandstates in the third place playoff. Still, making it all the way to the semifinal would be a success for nearly any team in the Multiverse, much less one pegged by many to finish last in the group stage. Qusmo would certainly be elated to reach that stage in this tournament. They have to get there first, though - &, over the past twelve tournaments, only one has succeeded.

With that, let’s get to our next question, from a viewer in Qanz.

Can Qusmo make it all the way?

In short, probably not. Just winning one knockout round match would be a massive feat, much less winning the entire World Cup. Farfadillis is one of the best teams left in the tournament, & they will pose a particular challenge to Qusmo because this is the best offense the team has ever faced, by a long stretch. Before this tournament, Qusmo had never played a team ranked better than thirteenth in the Multiverse. Farfadillis represents the culmination of a three-match stretch in which Qusmo has played the fifth-, sixth-, & seventh-ranked teams in the Multiverse, but while Brenecia & Turori are moderately defensive sides, there is no doubt that Farfadillis is where it is today because of the strength of its fearsome attack.

Of all the hundred fifty teams that entered World Cup 82 Qualifying, Farfadillis scored the most goals out of all of them: sixty-eight, good for an average of nearly four in every match. That allowed them to reach a points total of forty-nine - a full twenty higher than what Qusmo managed, & the second-most of any nation, after Nephara - which saw them win Group 12 by a staggering fifteen points, more than any other qualifying group winner this cycle.

They have not just been adept at beating low-quality opposition, either. Farfadillis has maintained their stellar form in the tournament proper. They earned the right to play Qusmo in the Round of Sixteen after winning all three of their matches in Group G; only South Covello managed to accomplish the same feat. Farfadillis’s seven goals in the group stage are joint-third in the tournament, after Audioslavia’s eight & Baker Park’s nine, & their goal difference of five is unmatched by any team in World Cup 82 except for Baker Park, with a goal difference of six.

Farfadillis can have nine players contributing to any given attack, with a formation resembling a Qusma 3-5-2, featuring a Qusma back three. The quality of the attacking players on the pitch is undeniable, with players like Xíxì Êns, the striker for the Nepharim Premiership’s Sabrefell Athletics & Groaré Sasca, the centre midfielder for Pug Qusmyra’s own KF Koflir, set to take the field for their country. It should be clear to even a casual football fan that this Farf team means business. For any Qusma football fan out there, it is time to face reality: Farfadillis is not only the favourite to win this match, but - dare we say it - to win the entire World Cup.

Let’s imagine their path. They are the sixth-ranked team in the Multiverse, but they wouldn’t have to play a higher-ranked team until the final. Second-ranked Nephara was felled in the group stage by their loss to Cosumar & their inability to defeat 95X. Thanks to a three-goal loss on the final matchday, fourth-ranked Eura was locked out of the knockout rounds despite having six points. &, of course, Qusmo’s memorable win over Brenecia knocked the fifth-ranked side out of the tournament. That leaves third-ranked South Covello & top-ranked Vilita, but they will face each other in the Round of Sixteen, meaning one will eliminate the other. & the winner of that match would be on the other side of the bracket.

Instead, after dispatching the lowest-ranked opponent left in the tournament, Farfadillis would play either Sargossa or Starblaydia in the quarterfinal. Both teams have performed well in this tournament, with six points, six goals scored, & three goals conceded. They also are ranked very similarly, with Sargossa fourteenth & Starblaydia fifteenth. We give a slight edge to Starblaydia here, but it should be a close, exciting match.

If Starblaydia wins, Farfadillis would be the favourite in the quarterfinal, too. Starblaydia only qualified on thirty-five points, needing a win on the final matchday of qualifying to reach Valanora - &, even then, they only qualified on goal difference. That’s far from the dominating display that Farfadillis put on in the qualifiers, & it’s far from the historic peak of Starblaydia. Getting to the quarterfinals would be an important milestone on the quest for a record sixth World Cup title, but we don’t think they’ll be able to get any farther; instead, Farfadillis should get closer to its first.

Next, Farfadillis would play the winner of a quarterfinal between either Audioslavia or Cassadaigua & either Turori or Pasarga. In the first knockout match, we lean towards Audioslavia, which has had the best attacking display in Valanora this tournament thus far. Audioslavia has had success before this tournament, too, earning their ticket to Valanora by a comfortable ten-point margin in Group 2, a much less dramatic affair than Cassadaigua’s qualifying journey, which saw them qualify by a single point, & which required a final matchday win to go through. Cassadaigua has done well in getting to the knockouts, but we think that is where they will finish their run.

In the second, we would pick Turori, as they are not only more highly ranked but have gone unbeaten in Group F to win it - as opposed to Pasarga, which endured a painful three-nil loss to none other than Farfadillis to open the tournament. Turori has scored more goals, conceded fewer goals, & earned more points than Pasarga in the group stage. This match also highlights another good fortune of Farfadillis’s draw: the two top-ranked sides remaining in the Valanora half of the tournament are playing each other in the Round of Sixteen, & the winner of that match will have to navigate a quarterfinal before they would even have the chance to play a semifinal against Farfadillis.

We think that Turori has enough quality to get to that semifinal, though. After starting slow, able to score only one goal over their first two matches, the offense has burst to life, with four against Darmen. If the offense continues to play that well, & the defense continues the form that saw them earn two clean sheets during the group stage, Turori is capable of getting far in this tournament & even getting past a quarterfinal once again.

However, if they are to play Farfadillis, we think that they will fall again at the semifinal stage. Turori’s win of Group F has masked some troubling signs which have manifested themselves in World Cup 82 Qualifying. They conceded three goals in losses to Kita-Hinode & Kelssek, & they dropped points to teams like Olastor & Flaw. Kita-Hinode & Kelssek are good teams, but they aren’t at this World Cup. A team with the attacking quality of Farfadillis will certainly be able to exploit the weaknesses that they took advantage of - &, if that’s the case, Turorian fans might have flashbacks to that five-one loss in the last tournament’s semifinals to Vilita.

Ultimately, we think that the final will come down to the two teams which have earned full points in this tournament thus far: South Covello & Farfadillis - & what a final it would be. The top offense in the Multiverse would take on the top defense in the Multiverse. South Covello conceded only seven goals over the course of eighteen qualifying matches, nearly half of the mark of second-best Ko-oren, with twelve. In fact, South Covello’s seven goals conceded over the course of twenty-one World Cup Qualifying & final tournament fixtures thus far is fewer than the number of losses one team in the knockout rounds has suffered during that period - Qusmo, of course, with eight.

However, what better team to break down such a tremendous defense than such a tremendous offense? There is no guarantee that Farfadillis would win such a matchup, of course, but we think that they would be in the best position to break down South Covello’s defense & emerge with a victory. Further, Farfadillis enjoys what may be perhaps the easiest route to the final of any of the sixteen teams left in the tournament. If we were to predict the winner of this World Cup, it would not be Qusmo; it would be the team on the other side of the touchline in their first-ever World Cup knockout round match in Valanora.

by **Apox** » Thu Apr 11, 2019 2:04 pm

Here Be Dragons

Who is going to dazzle me with their Round of 16 performances today then?

Ro16 Cutoff for Vanorian Half

by **Banija** » Thu Apr 11, 2019 2:40 pm

]This is on Matchday 3 of the World Cup Group Stages

Marcus Waters, the manager, was sitting down on the bench, with his head down. His team had lasted for 90 excruciating minutes- trying to outlast a team like Pasarga was difficult, to say the least. Pasarga wasn’t an unknown, of course, as the two had played in the last World Cup. The difference between the last World Cup and the present World Cup, of course, is that so much more was at stake here. In the last World Cup, Pasarga had beaten the Banijans but it didn’t matter. Pasarga was still eliminated, and Banija still moved on. But at this tournament? It was going to be a different story entirely.

This one was for all the marbles. And he put out a lineup, the same one that faced Damukuni, that he felt was capable of defending against such a talented Pasargan side. Man for man, it was clear who had more talent. These games aren’t played on paper however, and he knew that Pasarga could be exposed on the counter, especially since, at some point, they’d have to go forward for the win if they didn’t get an early goal. And Pasarga started to come, and just kept coming at them. The ball was seemingly in the Banijan end for the entire second half of the game- though Afolayan did have a beautiful opportunity on a counter attack that he just missed.

In the 80th minute, Waters had accepted that a goal from his side was unlikely, and that they were going to have to see out a 0-0 draw. That was when Brehanu had gone into the game, for Yitebarke, and make the Banijan back four a back five, with the wingers playing, essentially without a striker. There was no thought of offense- it was fight with everything you got, it was the ultimate strategy- all about survival. Was it too fearful an approach?

Who knew? But when he saw that ball fly across, after Chidiebere had lost it, he just had a bad feeling. Bereket had a fantastic game to that point, but Waters gut dropped when that ball had flown in across. And as he saw Jager approach it, the Pasargan starlet, he felt like this was destiny. For this moment, Banija would be a part of the destiny of another player, the witness to the symbolic moment of Thor passing the torch to Jager, of Pasarga’s star striker.

Obviously, frustration on Waters behalf. What could you do? The game was up. The final whistle blew moments after the Banijans had kicked off following the goal. He got up from the bench, and shook the hands of the opposing manager, and waved to Banijan fans. But he sat on the bench here, witnessing the Pasargan celebrations, the players celebrating, the fans cheering. He wanted to sit here, and take it in. Witness something, this accomplishment on the biggest stage the sport has to offer. He would use this as fuel, to double down his efforts, to witness these celebrations against his own side. This would be his fuel, his fuel to not settle, but to ensure his team could be as a good as a team like Pasarga, to keep making the ascent up the international ladder.

WC 82 RP Thread

WC82F - Vilaye Cans for Life

95X WC 82 MD 2 RP

WC82F - MD3 v. Darmen (4-2)

WC82F - MD3 v. Mercedini (3-3)

WC82F - Better with Cocoabo - Cassadaigua retreat

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