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World Cup 81: Roleplay Thread

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Commonwealth of Baker Park
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Founded: Jan 10, 2018
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Commonwealth of Baker Park » Sat Sep 08, 2018 11:06 pm

Darmen 1-2 Baker Park: Smash & Grab Raid

by Alec Henderson
Soccer Correspondent for The Sunday Observer

Brham, Darmen--The National Team's Gold Squad came away with a shock victory here over the top seeds in Group 17, with Brianne Whitestone's 82nd minute goal providing the winning margin.

The Darmenis came out of the the tunnel looking eager to put their stamp on the match from the opening whistle. Marcellus Winton and Zachariah Butler controlled the central midfield for long stretches of the opening 20 minutes, frustrating their BP counterparts and forcing much of the play between the channels, the outside wingers left to pick up odd scraps and track back into defensive positions.

Manager Pamela Scott made a calculated change of tactics on 33 minutes, as Steven DiPietro was sacrificed for Annabeth Westmoreland, who took up a position higher than that of a normal central midfielder; the shape eventually morphed into something close to a 3-3-2-2, that seemingly worked against the advantage on the wings that Baker Park usually enjoy.

But appearances are often deceiving, as the narrowing of the formation that was apparently the hosts preferred plan began to work against them; Westmoreland & Jamari Bozeman exploited space between the Darmen defense & midfield and Nathan Ohler's strong defensive performance in the center of midfield saw the Commonwealth get the break they were looking for just 2 minutes from half time.

Tony Santos won a challenge on the left and moved the ball to Ohler, who spotted Westmoreland on a diagonal run towards the 18; she immediately stopped on a dime and gave an overlapping Ohler a return that he was able to one-time on goal forcing Hyman Campo into a reflex save. On the ensuing corner, Santos placed a seeing-eye laser pass towards Seth Schmidt who headed home from 8 yards, and Baker Park led 1-0.

Straight from the second half kickoff, Darmen pressed forward and made gains in forcing turnovers in the center third of the pitch. But they continued to struggle against the offside trap of the BP defense and their frustration became more evident as the minutes ticked away.

The home side were finally able to level the match on 63 minutes when their star forward Felix Lucanus drew a foul just on the edge of the Baker Park 18, Winton smashing a free kick off the wall which was pounced on by Craig Blackwood, who beat Mollie Pellitier with an excellent finish to the short side. Suddenly, the home support felt more confident that their side would be able to extend their long World Cup Qualifying unbeaten streak into the second half of the current campaign.

With 20 minutes remaining, Scott made another tactical substitution that took a bit of time to become evident in its intent. Ali Salih came on for Bozeman, and in the succeeding 6-8 minutes the shape of the Commonwealth formation changed once again; Westmoreland dropped into a more natural slot alongside Ohler in the center of midfield and Valerie Agahambri gave way to Salih and took up a role behind him and Schmidt, making it closer to a 3-4-3. Salih and Schmidt increased the forward pressure against the Darmen back line--at a stage where you would've expected a slacking off to preserve a point on the road--and when Trent Yeomans replaced Santos on 80 minutes, the final act was almost written.

Yeomans brought fresh legs down the left that forced the defense to compensate and Ohler won a header on a clearing pass from Ritchie Porsche which fell at the feet of Agahambri, who immediately found Whitestone in space and the Ravens Ladies star made no mistake with her shot, beating Campo clean. The 3,500 supporters from BP were the only noise that could be discerned among the 53,000 at the Brham Stadium until after the kickoff. Darmen made one final push for an equalizer, Lucanus just missing the target from 21 yards, and at the final whistle, the sides didn't betray emotion one way or another, just congratulations and commiserations.
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Adab
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Founded: May 28, 2014
Democratic Socialists

Postby Adab » Sun Sep 09, 2018 1:29 am

OOC: The assistant manager's comments are purely IC and do not, in any way, represent my real-life opinion on Starblaydia.

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Adab 1-3 Starblaydia
Yargab (65' pen) | Rayyen (36' pen), Bennet (55'), Di Bradini (85')
Yellow cards: al-Tikriti (25'), Nahmoud (36'), Abdulmahrim (77') | Esposito (65')

NEWS | WORLD CUP
By: Elymur Amwan

Thulus sent off as Adab beaten 1-3 in chaotic match against Starblaydia

The Adabian football team was defeated 1-3 against 15th-ranked Starblaydia at the former's Adab City Stadium in what was certainly one of the most raucous and chaotic matches in the World Cup qualifiers so far, involving four yellow cards, two penalty kicks, a protester on the pitch, and an assistant manager banished to the stands.

This latest defeat meant Adab was currently in fifth place in Group 5, with 13 points. They had entered the match in second place. Starblaydia maintained their lead with 19 points, with Audioslavia assuming second place with 15 points following their 2-1 victory over Kalumba. There were only five points separating the second- and eighth-placed teams.

Entering the match 245 ranks below their opponents, the Adabians were not expected to come out on top, but assistant manager Inimabakesh Thulus - leading the team in the absence of manager Saad Kaykali due to 'family business' - stated before the match that his men would "go out there with all guns blazing" and "do the absolute best that we can do."

The farce began before the teams had even played. Before kick-off, as the Starblaydi squad performed the Raiigar, the nation's famous war dance, Thulus was heard loudly commenting to physio Hamza Ridha in the dugout that "the dance sucks, it really, really sucks," generating boos and jeers from the Starblaydi substitutes nearby.

This clearly did not deter the Adabian assistant manager, who told Starblaydi manager Ázëwyn Fëanáro, “I’ve seen Barry Gibb dance better than this, and he’s 70 and suffering from arthritis. Hell, at this point I'd take a Frank Sinatra-Megadeth duet over this."

Thulus received a warning from the referee for his "provocative" comments and was soon led away by Ridha, who apologized to Fëanáro and claimed that Thulus was "simply tired and a bit overworked" in the absence of manager Kaykali.

The match began just as Thulus had promised, the Adabian team coming out with "all guns blazing" in a 4-3-2-1 formation, hoping that their aggression would make up for the disparity in rank and skill. The first fifteen minutes were largely dominated by the Adabians, relying on their fluid formation, quick movement, and a mixture of short and long passes to confuse their opponents. However, attempts to break through the midfield were largely unsuccessful, with Starblaydi captain Marcello Di Bradini leading the team in restricting the space in which the Adabians were able to operate and often wresting the ball away from them.

The Starblaydi side nearly had a chance at the goal, only for their effort to be undone so close to the target. Launching an all-out counterattack in the 25th minute, their forward Aaron Cole seemed poised to enter the penalty area, with the Adabian midfielders distracted by Austin Dashwood and Sterling Renshaw and the defenders scrambling to defend the goal. With Cole just a few feet from the penalty area, he was tackled by Eannatum al-Tikriti. Cole fell on his chest but was unscathed, and al-Tikriti - who promptly apologized to Cole and claimed he did it instinctively - was handed a yellow card to the jeers of the home crowd.

The next few minutes saw the ball go back and forth between the Adabians and the Starblaydis, but the honor of scoring the first goal eventually fell to the Starblaydis in chaotic fashion in the 36th minute. Despite the valiant effort of the Adabian midfield, Viola Capodanno managed to wrest the ball away and passed it to Cole. Once again he made a dash for the penalty area, once again the defenders gathered at the area, and once again, with several Adabian players closing in on him, he was tackled and fell, this time thanks to Shamsidad Nahmoud.

This time, however, it occurred just inside the penalty area. Adabian and Starblaydi players crowded the referee, arguing for their respective players, but Nahmoud was eventually - and deservedly - given the yellow card. Mezna Rayyen was chosen to take the penalty, which she did successfully, blasting the ball past Mohammed Marramzi.

Now down 0-1, the Adabians responded strongly to the setback, as if possessed by a ghost, dominating possession of the ball over the next few minutes as Thulus urged them to keep going on the offense. They actually had a chance in the 40th minute, with Shamsuiluna Zambiya carrying the ball to the penalty area, only to be interrupted by a man running onto the pitch shouting, “Free Ahmad Almar,” referring to the Adabian journalist sentenced to five years for slandering the Lord President of the Privy Council, the Duke of Baghdad. The man - who has been identified as Adab City resident Alulim Kindah, 35 - was quickly taken away by security.

The Starblaydis started the second half with the ball, only to then watch it wrested by the Adabian players. Both teams were on the offense, resulting in several exciting attacking runs on both sides of the pitch. Though the Adabians tried their best, they could not prevent the Starblaydis from extending their lead with the most stunning and improbable goal of the tournament so far. In the 55th minute, Enlilbani Yargab shot the ball right onto the hands of Starblaydi keeper Martin Bennet. The following goal kick flew across the pitch - as the thousands of spectators and the players themselves watched in amazement - and was seemingly bound to end up in the stands, until it fell and landed right in Mohammed Marramzi’s goal, with the latter too stunned to even react.

The stadium erupted in a mixture of cheers and boos as Marramzi fell to his knees and the dumbstruck Adabians gathered around him to discuss what to do next. From the dugout, Thulus loudly urged them to “attack, attack, attack.” This the Adabians did with near-religious fervor, with Marramzi - captain of the team - joining his manager in shouting instructions and encouraging his teammates from his own place. The Adabians practically abandoned their defense, throwing everything and everyone they had into the attack and waging all-out war against an opponent that - even with the weight of its name and reputation behind it - now seemed so bizarrely powerful and capable of anything.

Their determination finally bore fruit in the 65th minute, and in appropriate fashion. Shamsuiluna Zambiya zigzagged his way past defenders Sami Viipuri, Saku Ryku, and Dorn Garkadrum, only to then find himself struggling with Frederico Esposito for the ball on the penalty area. As the ball began to slip away from them, Esposito tackled Zambiya, sending to the latter to the ground. Despite the entreaties of the Starblaydi players, the referee handed Esposito the yellow card for his action, and Yargab - Adab’s most reliable goalscorer - took the penalty, feinting a kick to the left only to blast the ball into the right corner of the goal, bringing the score up to 1-2.

Eager to secure their lead, the Starblaydis once again went on the offense against the Adabian side. The much-younger side - the oldest of whom was 20 - had expended much of their energy against their formidable opponent, and it showed as the game inched to its close, with the Adabians often a step slower and beaten to the ball by the Starblaydis.

In the 77th minute, Di Bradini made his way past the Adabian midfield and passed the ball to Cole, who promptly turned and passed it back to Di Bradini. At this point, just outside the penalty area, Bradini fell, apparently tackled by Enmerkar Abdulmahrim. The Starblaydis argued that Di Bradini had simply lost his balance, but the referee disagreed and raised the yellow card, to the jeers of the home crowd and the protests of the Adabian players.

As livid as the players were, none was more enraged than Inimabakesh Thulus. From the dugout, the Adabian assistant manager railed against Fëanáro and Starblaydi assistant manager Jerzy Makuszewski, calling their players “liars”, “cheats”, and “incompetents”. Approached by the referee, Thulus denounced him to his face as “a sorry blot on the game” and “undeserving of your job”. Thulus was promptly expelled to the stands, with coach Yitzhak Bennett apologizing to the Starblaydi staff. Bennett directed the players for the rest of the match.

Di Bradini gained his revenge in the 85th minute, outmaneuvering the Adabian defenders and firing the ball straight to the net. The score was now 1-3 in favor of the Starblaydis and remained so until the final whistle blew, bringing an end to perhaps the most thrilling yet chaotic and ignominious match of these qualifiers so far.

Bennett: ‘We apologize for everything’

Thulus refused to appear at the post-match press conference, instead sending Bennett to appear in his place. In front of the press, Bennett apologized to the Starblaydis for the events of the match.

“The assistant manager was tired, having taken on additional workload with the temporary absence of the manager,” Bennett explained. “What he said and did, he said and did it purely out of his passion for the game. He joins us in conveying regret and apology for any inconvenience that we had caused and assures you that it will not happen again in the future. We apologize for everything.”

Bennett assured the press that manager Kaykali would be back before the next match. “The manager will be back before our match against Andwell, and his presence will surely be good for morale and return us to our winning ways.”

He also praised the Starblaydis for their playing and congratulated them on their win. “It is a very much well-deserved victory,” Bennett said. “They were the better men - and women - and they deserved to win. We look forward to facing them again in the qualifiers, and hopefully in a more peaceful climate, but for now we have to analyze what went wrong and focus on facing our next opponent.”

See also:
Football Association urged to discipline Thulus
FA President: We will be fair in dealing with Thulus
Adab vs. Starblaydia: Does Inimabakesh Thulus have a point?
Last edited by Adab on Thu Sep 13, 2018 8:44 pm, edited 7 times in total.
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Vilita
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Founded: Feb 23, 2004
Ex-Nation

Postby Vilita » Sun Sep 09, 2018 1:44 am

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Vilita defense cracks conceding 3 goals in 2 games


Lirai Asku Castle, Yeaddin, Vilita :: After an eventful, somewhat controversial trip to Anthor, the Vilita Jungle Cats returned home and headed up North to Yeaddin for their match against Rannoria at the historic Lirai Asku Castle, home of the Yeaddin Owls.

The #3rdI was in the past and the Jungle Cats were relieved to be at home - particularly those such as starting goalkeeper Mako Canopii who plays club domestic footsport at the Yeaddin Owls.

Over the previous games the Jungle Cats had gotten out to a fast start and the Rannoria match would be no different as Westii Yahaya would test Rannorian goalkeeper Karsak Malak from the outset and the Heden Fortified net minder failed the test miserably as they couldn't get more than a fingertip on the thirty-five yard looping strike before the ball found its way inside he far post and rolling into the back of the net to open the scoring for Vilita.

The head coach of the Iron Swordsmen, Jan Brigto, lost his cool on the sideline five minutes later when Eastal Lunar's former Galactico Young Player of the Year Nii'arala Milaaso doubled the Jungle Cats advantage on a fast break after being fed in from the experienced Purapal Eskiiy.

Rannoria quelched the Jungle Cats momentum temporarily getting a goal back in the 20th minute but that would be as close as the Iron Swordsmen would get, with the Jungle Cats recovering, reloading and taking charge from that point forward.

Linkat Cjinder charged forward from the wingback role and played an unexpected 1-2 with Polaox Torerun before firing low across the face of goal and past the helpless netminder Malak. It would be the first of two goals by the defender Cjinder, whose second goal of the match rounded out the scoring just moments after Sipke Tarala got on the score sheet themselves for the second time during the qualification campaign.

In the end it was a 5-1 victory that allowed the Vilita National Team to keep pace at the top of Group 13 as they pushed through a back and forth stretch alternating between home and away matches.


Vilita [5] - [1] Rannoria

:: Vilita Goalscorers ::
:: 1' Westii Yahaya
:: 6' Nii'arala Milaaso
:: 33' Linkat Cjinder
:: 65' Sipke Tarala
:: 66' Linkat Cjinder
:: Vilita Statistics ::
:: Possession: 62%
:: Shots on Target: 12
:: Corner Kicks: 7
:: Rannoria Statistics ::
:: Possession: 38%
:: Shots on Target: 2
:: Corner Kicks: 3



Vilita Jungle Cats Lineup v. Rannoria ::
[GK] Mako Canopii, [D.] Linkat Cjinder, [D.] Jirak Trikala, [D.] Monner Vileai, [ML] Polaox Torerun, [MC] Jurzen Devmiko, [MC] Purapal Eskiiy, [MR] Westii Yahaya, [FC] Nii'arala Milaaso, [FC] Sipke Tarala, [FC] Berali Tzufarei
BENCH::
[FC] Nuola Brenzil, [FC] Fishtii Blikala, [M] Limu Katarakhna, [M] Tinjus Mngomeni, [U ] Kamarul Zaman, [D] Inbekira Ajhabekk, [GK] Mako Canopii



Parade Grounds, Regium, Oberour Ar Moro :: From Yeaddin the Vilita National Team got on the road to Oberour Ar Moro to do battle against a team they'd never played before. An unknown entity, the team from the Dominion of Oberour Ar Moro would ultimately push the Jungle Cats to the brink, giving the Vilitan National Team their toughest test thus far in the World Cup 81 Qualification campaign.

For just the second time in six matches the Jungle Cats failed to score in the opening 10 minutes of the game although it wasn't long after that Berali Tzufarei - having no longer decided to adorn the 'Vilitia' headband - opened the scoring to put the Jungle Cats in front.

Unlike every other match the Jungle Cats had playes thus far, however, The opponents fought back and the Vilitans would not be able to retain their lead. Oberour Ar Moro equalized in the 24th minute through Kerrian Odierne. Jyuola Mtalata put Vilita back in front but once again the unranked home side would match the multiverse's 6th ranked side as Ruran l'Ermite would ensure the teams would head into the locker room knotted at two goals a piece.

While the Vilitans were controlling the possession, the Oberour Ar Moro side was getting more than their share of chances and doing their best to hold strong and limit the Vilitans chances.

In the end the home side would crack just once but it was enough to ensure the Vilita National Team kept their unblemished record as Nii'arala Milaaso netted for the fourth time in the qualification to secure three points for the Jungle Cats.

Vilita [3] - [2] Oberour Ar Moro

:: Vilita Goalscorers ::
:: 11' Berali Tzufarei
:: 32' Jyuola Mtalata
:: 59' Nii'arala Milaaso
:: Vilita Statistics ::
:: Possession: 55%
:: Shots on Target: 7
:: Corner Kicks: 4
:: Oberour Ar Moro Statistics ::
:: Possession: 45%
:: Shots on Target: 7
:: Corner Kicks: 7



Vilita Jungle Cats Lineup v. Oberour Ar Moro ::
[GK] Cilamara Issah, [D.] Jirak Trikala, [D.] Inbekira Ajhabekk, [D.] Linkat Cjinder, [D.] Mileke Drokasorna, [ML] Cavuna Aquafek, [MC] Limu Katarakhna, [MC] Polaox Torerun, [MR] Jyuola Mtalata, [FC] Berali Tzufarei, [FC] Nii'arala Milaaso
BENCH::
[FC] Tenziki Kulakao, [FC] Kaivel Illatara, [M] Va'a-Rio Kiwavn, [M] Purapal Eskiiy, [U ] Kiliko Riazen, [D] Arocki Tadalek, [GK] Vernasa Sanamun



Despite their defeat, the home side were understandably pleased with their performance as they managed to score two goals on Cilamara Issah in the Vilitan net - equalling the total number of goals that had been scored on t he Vilitan National Team cumulatively by all five teams that had played the Jungle Cats during World Cup Qualification prior to their trip to Oberour Ar Moro.

It also served as a missed opportunity for the Jungle Cats to gain ground in the goal differential category on Group 13 leaders Mercedini increasing the odds that Vilita will have to come out on top of the two-match head to head fixtures against Mercedini in order to compete for the groups top spot and guaranteed Automatic Qualification to the World Cup 81 finals. There was some good news for Vilita, however, as young Kiiarana City goalkeeper prospect Vernasa Sanamun was well enough to make the trip to Oberour Ar Moro to sit on the bench and participate in warmups at the Parade Grounds ahead of the match signalling the end of their time on the sideline due to the injury suffered in the opening match of the World Cup Qualifying campaign.



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Ko-oren
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Founded: Nov 26, 2010
Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby Ko-oren » Sun Sep 09, 2018 2:21 am

Worrying safety situations at South Covello

Ahead of the Dragonflies - Rebels clash, the KFA has requested extensive security measures. According to the KFA, and in accordance with the Foreign Ministry, the political situation in South Covello is dangerous enough for all kinds of measures, though not dangerous enough to call off the match altogether. The Foreign Ministry asserts that South Covello, a nation that has had ties with Ko-oren in several ways across the last decade, is in such political turmoil but that the safety of any Ko-orenite national can be guaranteed.

This will be the first official visit of a Ko-orenite delegation since the end of the Gregoryisgodistan era, now referred to as the Gregists' regime in the country itself. Ko-oren has hosted a World Cup of Hockey together with the pre-South Covello-era nation, and there have been several gridiron games between the two. Ironically, given the regime's actions, it was actually a safer environment to play in if only because it was a stable environment, as nearly everything warranted a death penalty, often gruesomely executed on the spot.

Behind the scenes, the Foreign Ministry has come into contact with South Covellan officials to inquire into the exact relations between the two nations. Is Ko-oren seen as an ally of the old regime given the hosting record? Is Ko-oren seen as an ally for the future? These questions have unfortunately not yet been answered.

Very recently, South Covellan president John Green was impeached, and currently the nation is in a period in which presidential candidates may declare themselves as such. Ko-orenite satirical group 'Nighthawk' has also filed for candidacy in the form of political commentator Theodore Pembleton, but probably won't be able to top whatever candidates have arisen from South Covello itself, from Moses the Pant Ferret to marihuana-enthusiast Derek Lough, to Clowney the Clown. Pembleton's motto for the presidency is 'Pembleton - because it can't get worse than Greg'.




Juliasterinthen and Lampshire decide on truce

The biggest question ahead of South Covello - Ko-oren is definitely in what formation the Green and Blue will play. A 3-4-3 has been used for the duration of the Strike, and it has been successful for the last three matches, but South Covello is easily the hardest opponent of the group. The Dragonflies and the Rebels are both notoriously good defensive teams, and are both among the best 4 defences of the qualification campaign. The Rebels only conceded their first goal in the most recent match, a 3-1 victory over Flardania, while Ko-oren conceded two goals, both in the same match against Krytenia. With an improvised 3-4-3 missing two starting defenders and nearly all substitutions, it seems extremely unlikely that the next match will have a good result.

Then again, everyone has said that before. Before the Togonistan match, everyone doubted the 3-4-3, and the team won 4-0. Then before the match against Kirishima, on paper at least as good as the Dragonflies, the team was doubted again and won 3-0. Most critics were silent ahead of game versus Carloso - an easy victory on paper - and the team won, though only 1-0. Still, it was a clean sheet, and that's all that counts.

For the time being, Lampshire and his six fellows will be available for the team, a concession from Lampshire. On the other hand, Juliasterinthen's concession is that Lampshire will be a starter, among other things that haven't been brought to light yet.

Expected starting XI:
Theshendan (no striking player)

Dalton-Linderood-Benjamin-Lampshire-Hellegeland (includes 4 striking players and Dalton)

Yokota-Odell-Longchambon (no striking players)

Duchemin-Pirastadhaunden (no striking players)

After the match and the break, Lampshire and the other strikers' (players who strike, not attackers) statuses will go back to unavailable.




Eyes of the Multiverse

All eyes across the multiverse will be on this match and on Mercedini versus Vilita. Not only will everyone have to wait a little before qualification football comes back, but it is also the first time ever that there are multiple matches between 'perfect' teams. Perfect being teams that are not just unbeaten, but have won every. single. match. This campaign has been friendly to perfect teams: it's not just these four, but also Farfadillis, Eura, Ethane, Nephara, Brenecia, and Baker Park. Matches between perfect teams are a rarity though. In fact, it's the first time in Ko-oren's footballing history that the team's been perfect for this long, and it's just bad luck that there's a team in this group that is perfect just a little better (+21 versus +13 goal difference), and that the other perfect team in the group has a similar philosophy about the game (1 goal conceded versus 2 goals conceded).

Anyway, it's a lot to look forward to. Everything can still come apart, but it's hard not to get extremely hyped about this Dragonflies team. It's been a while, but it's not so crazy to think about the first qualification since World Cup 75. Go Dragonflies!
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Alasdair I Frosticus
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Alasdair I Frosticus » Sun Sep 09, 2018 3:23 am

The Tale of Benjy Bunny and the Magical Frozen Forest

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away, Benjy Bunny had visited the Frozen Forest in his capacity as High Marshal of the Imperial Legions of Doom.

It was a magical world ruled over by the great and mighty wizard Frozar the Unfeasibly Cold.

In Frozar's land, carrots were only ever served as frozen sorbet!

Tiny pixies and sprites made all out of ice frolicked in a carefree manner among the many falling snowflakes.

The temperature never rose above freezing, and in the middle of a clearing there rose the giant sun-kissed pleasure dome of Frozar above limitless caves of ice.

It was a miracle of rare device - a sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice!*

Even the trees were made of ice, each delicate branch and leaf glistening in the sun, sending out refracted prisms of light across an otherwise ever-white landscape.

Benjy Bunny quite agreed that it was the most miraculous place he had ever seen.

So when he laid waste to Frozar's dominion with fire and sword, and melted the frozen forests down to the very bedrock from which they'd sprung, exterminating every single last pixie and sprite, and impaling Frozar's head on a spike as a warning against all those who would defy the dread lords Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cottontail, he admitted to an uncharacteristic twinge of regret.

So you can imagine his excitement when he found out that the fluffy bunnies were playing the Frozen Forest in the World Cup!

"Hurrah!" thought Benjy Bunny, nibbling cutely on a carrot as he read out the qualification schedule.

At every practice after the schedule had been announced, he told the other fluffy bunnies about the wonders of the Frozen Forest.

He told them about Frozar's pleasure dome.

He told them about the limitless caves of ice.

He told them about the wondrous pixies and sprites.

And most of all he told them about the frozen forests themselves, and the way the light shone through the branches and leaves.

Benjy Bunny had never been so excited.

So he was pretty pissed off when it turned out that 'the Frozen Forest' was just another mundy football team.

I mean [redacted] that for a [redacted] laugh; bunch of [redacted] [redacted].

No wonder that Benjy Bunny played such a key role in the match, and Mr Tzimisces agreed that it was most unusual for the right-sided player in a back three to score a hattrick, but that's just what Benjy Bunny managed to do.

Hurrah for Benjy Bunny!

Hurrah for another crushing 4-0 victory for the fluffy bunnies!

Hippity hop, hippity hop, into the burrow.



* All due apologies to Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Τί ἐστιν ἀλήθεια?

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Jeruselem
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Posts: 2630
Founded: Antiquity
Democratic Socialists

Postby Jeruselem » Sun Sep 09, 2018 4:47 am

Princess Cassie dressed like Sansa Stark from Game of Thrones

Hello, this is Princess Cassandra Elsa Dallas of House Stark, I'm reporting Naked News Jeruselem. It's match day 8 for world cup qualification. So why am I actually wearing clothes? Because. as someone said famous "Winter is coming". And Winter here is fucking cold.

Today the combatants were Abanhfleft the visitors and Jeruselem the local team. Abanhfleft were leading group 11 with no losses. Jeruselem's last three games were two losses and a draw. From that, you could conclude Jeruselem were probably gonna lose. 1 point from three games isn't a great recent record compared to our opponent. But it was a home game where Jeruselem have won all but one home game ... the one we lost, we lost 4-1. On paper, you'd think Abanhfleft would be feeling good about their chances.

Well, guess what. The underperforming Princesses smashed the visitors 3-1. Yes my sister had recovered from that wasp attack if people are asking. What a better way to make the coach feel better than to beat the favourite 3-1. Everything worked today. We had an attack which proved deadly to one of the better teams and our usually suspect defense did it's job. I think not having a bad flu really helps too. A complete performance, one of our best in the 8 games. I guess some thought the Princesses were fading after the recent games but the favourite got the sword in face today.

In other Group 11 games, Sultanate of Oontaz beat the home team Lycrabon 2-0. Mriin stopped Dreamplanet's progress beating them 4-1 at home. Darkmania only managed a 0-0 draw in Crystalline Caverns. Mareibat beat Neo-Romanum 1-0 at home. This means movement on the table.

Mriin are leading! 19 points. Abanhfleft fall back to 2nd spot with 18. Jeruselem hold 3rd on 16. Dreamplanet 4th and Darkmania 5th on 13. Crystalline Caverns 6th on 11 and Sultanate of Oontaz 7th on 10. Mareibat hold 9th with 9. The bottom two Neo-Romanum 5 points and Lycrabon still with that one point.

There you go, things were looking a bit grim but then we beat one of top 2. This is football. A bit like Game of Thrones where things can't be predicted. My sister is bit like daenerys targaryen, she's a fire breathing creature when she's in a bad mood.

As I promised it's Q&A time. I kinda started that last time. But we have more time here.

A lot of people ask why we no longer employ and assistant coach now. Yeah it's one of those situations where to be an assistant coach you have to give up your other job, and some don't want to give their more permanent job. If they do, they want to be the actual coach not the assistant. We could have shoved someone in the job but it's a position you want. It's not cushy job either! You pretty much have to be like across the situation when the coach is away. Some people hate travel, so the world cup is worst for those people.

Is there a posse of journos following the around to cover the cup? Yes, there is but you'd have to be hard core dedicated to follow us around for qualification. If we qualify, you only travel to one country so it's easy to cover that. So you'll find the hard core football people do follow us around, but it's not cheap exercise. Most don't bother, they just report on the video coverage.

Yes, we do have a social media policy for staff and players. We don't want random posts to offend people particularly our opponents or potential opponents in the cup. Or leaking of stuff that should be in the public sphere. It's just like any other football team. It's not we stop people posting anything, it's just it has to meet the guidelines. They aren't allowed to post stuff when drunk or on drugs either. Bad things happen when random crap is posted.

Now does the team do any special exercises to keep in shape, other than regular training? We don't dicate that to our players. Some do Yoga, some are gym junkies, some like poledancing ... not I'm not making that up, and other things. We don't mandate anything as long as they keep in shape, actually motherhood does that too but it's not recommended as a fitness thing.

Young people ask, how does one get attention to get on the team. That's complicated. If you're a super talent who scores 100 goals ... sure, easy. Most players have to go though the club system and earn their way to recognition. OK being a Dallas sometimes does help. You have to be in the system and work up. I mean, I wasn't a bad player but I never got on the team as a player.

Some people complain there's no fat people on the team. Well, guess what the football system is self selecting system which pretty screens out fat unfit people out the football system. By the time you get to national level, guess what we have fit young people at the peak of their fitness. It's just that way. 90 minutes on all weather conditions. You have to be tough out there, no room for people who might not last the distance. I'm pretty fit but I missed out on the football genes.

One last one for the day. Is all that travel good for you? OK it can be fun to go another country but it just ruins your body clock. It takes ages for one to get it back to normal after a prolonged stint of travelling with weird time zones and being on the move constantly. It's not easy. We don't stay on one particular place for very long, as we get home at the earliest opportunity. Some people love travel, some do it just for the job and some well ... don't cope with all moving around.

Group 11
Abanhfleft 1–3 Jeruselem
Lycrabon 0–2 Sultanate of Oontaz
Dreamplanet 1–4 Mriin
Crystalline Caverns 0–0 Darkmania
Mareibat 1–0 Neo-Romanum
Last edited by Jeruselem on Mon Sep 10, 2018 5:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
Jeruselem's sports achievements
http://www.nswiki.net/index.php?title=J ... hievements

Land of the Tiger Princesses

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Brenecia
Diplomat
 
Posts: 806
Founded: Apr 14, 2013
Ex-Nation

Postby Brenecia » Sun Sep 09, 2018 5:26 am

Tinhampton 0 - 1 Brenecia
(4-1-4-1) 1 - Woodgate; 2 - Broxham (18 - Beath 76'), 5 - Heneghan, 6 - Szubanski (c), 3 - Quill; 23 - Alweather; 7 - Crowther, 21 - Case (14 - Ruskin 84'), 13 - Wheeler, 16 - Keynes (11 - Ashbrown 76'); 9 - Riordan
Goal: Riordan 57' pen

Czarna Gora 0 - 3 Brenecia
(4-1-4-1) 1 - Woodgate; 2 - Broxham, 18 - Beath, 6 - Szubanski (c), 3 - Quill (19 - Prentice 57'); 4 - Staunton; 7 - Crowther, 21 - Case (14 - Ruskin 78'), 8 - Hartsdown, 16 - Keynes; 9 - Riordan (17 - Bremner 70')
Goals: Keynes 22', Crowther 41', Ruskin 86'

The door opened, and Merric Laidlaw winced. Like many upper-class people about to meet someone stronger and more successful to plead for favours, he was uncomfortable in the position of supplicant and wanted it over with as quickly as possible.
Unlike most other upper-class people, indeed all other people at this moment in time, Merric Laidlaw - a shortish, sturdy man, bright-eyed, clean-shaven - was Prime Minister of Brenecia. In the other room; the aquiline, intellectual Aurelia Fern, Margravine of Nephara.
He was not looking forward to this. He knew it would be seen as humiliating his people if he went kow-towing to the one-time colonialist invader, current progressive rising force aiming to prove its worth to the CRC, that had around fifty years ago agreed to let go its hold on Brenecia and its precious metals. Brenecia had been built up to be an industrial and mining complex, not a nation. Nationhood had not come naturally to his people, and now they were turning to alternatives. The same old families ran the same old mines the same old way, and the smaller nation lacked the same penchant for unionisation as its forefather. Great for the landowners, terrible for the fact that black lung was still a killer. Farmers did what they could in the wretched grey damp, but Brenecia still relied heavily on imports just to keep going.
And people were getting restless.
He stepped inside, saw Fern sipping wine, her terrifyingly silent bodyguard Camilla Rinehart looming in the background. "Take a seat," Fern said, gesturing vaguely at the chair, and Laidlaw sat gratefully in it. This wasn't their first meeting, of course - they'd smiled for the cameras, made it look like all was well, diplomatic channels re-opened, a bright new dawn. Laidlaw made himself look strong and decisive; Fern austere and dignified, firm departures from corrupt and thuggish predecessors respectively.
But the next words out of Fern's words, after Laidlaw laid out his proposal, were; "No."
"No?"
"No."
"But surely you need-"
"Nephara does not need anything. Nothing material. Our trade deal with the CRC ensures we have all the resources we could ask for, and in case you'd forgotten, we aren't exactly short of metals or industry ourselves. And you want... what is it you want, Laidlaw? Your people won't stand for Nepharim authority on their soil."
Laidlaw took a deep breath, bit back a retort, held his ground. "These are uncertain times, Fern. And Nephara's sphere of influence is crumbling. Iskandervale, Pravenna, and now-"
"Brenecia is not part of Nephara's sphere of influence."
"- what?"
And this was... new? Arguably? Well, whether or not it was new, it was certainly bad. In the past, sure, both nations had a vague antipathy towards one another, but they still pulled together towards shared goals. The doomed Esportivan Community, war against the Corvidae fascists... they hated each other like family. And now Fern was denying any connection at all?
"Make up your mind, Laidlaw. You come here promising a blank slate. Well, here is your blank slate; it's been half a decade. Nepharim interests do not align with Brenecian ones. Or do you wish to continue our old relationship?" Fern raised an eyebrow. "It seems to me Brenecia made it very clear they wanted nothing to do with Nephara. There was a rather strenuous little uprising about it."
"Fine. If that's how it is?"
"It is. No special treatment, and no security, no matter how many ghosts you see."
"Armament?"
She snorts. "Come now, you know there's better nations to ask. And you are right to bring up Iskandervale and Pravenna - our hands are quite full right now. If this civil war you so fear does turn up... well, it will be a relief to have something we can wash our hands of."

Fern proved intractable, despite twenty more minutes of pleading. There were still more scheduled visits and photo opportunities, but from now on, Laidlaw found it was with various ministers. He would never speak to Fern again.
Their greatest friendly archrivals were now treating them like yesterday's news. To Laidlaw, who had seen the polls, the unrest, the riots in North Hall and Falkner... well, it seemed as though he didn't have a friend left in the world.

BRENECIAN NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 5
Goalkeepers:
1 - Mathis Woodgate (Spartangrad, EUR), 12 - Rostyn Calhoun (Wexax United, VAL), 20 - Aidan Hartigan (Metropolis Alligators, VLD)
Defenders: 2 - Keziah Broxham (Mallox, COS), 3 - Gethin Quill (Revolutionaries, EUR), 5 - Cheney Heneghan (Ernesse Stahl, BYN), 6 - Niko Szubanski (1830 Cathair, AUD, c), 18 - Chadwick Beath (Blue Coast 1981, PCR), 19 - Morwen Prentice (Westpike United), 22 - Garwyn Varney (Soldarian FC, VAL)
Midfielders: 4 - Roisin Staunton (Kingsgrove), 7 - Brae Crowther (Chenoworth Harriers, NPH), 8 - Elysse Matheson (Rozelle), 11 - Tiferet Ashbrown (Kings Park, SCT), 13 - Corby Wheeler (Goldstaff City, COS), 14 - Claire Ruskin (Southern Star), 15 - Cu Roi Garrard (Rene Skae, FFD), 16 - Cathal Keynes (Snowden River), 21 - Falcon Case (Goodfeather FC, NPH), 23 - Catsidhe Alweather (Eastal Lunar, VIL)
Forwards: 9 - Griffin Riordan (Klyde, COS), 10 - Vesuvia Carrick (South Laithland, NPH), 17 - Niall Bremner (Westpike United)

SCHEDULE
Cassadaigua 0 - 2 Brenecia
Brenecia 1
- 0 Al-Mumtaz
Oscioru 0 - 1 Brenecia
Brenecia 2
- 0 South Libertopia
Colonial Australia 0 - 1 Brenecia
Brenecia 5
- 0 Cobrio
Tinhampton 0 - 1 Brenecia
Czarna Gora 0 - 3 Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Octinstine
Brenecia vs. Cassadaigua
Al-Mumtaz vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Oscioru
South Libertopia vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Colonial Australia
Cobrio vs. Brenecia
Brenecia vs. Tinhampton
Brenecia vs. Czarna Gora
Octinstine vs. Brenecia
Puppet of Nephara.

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Nephara
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Posts: 1871
Founded: Jun 06, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby Nephara » Sun Sep 09, 2018 5:26 am

Nephara 5 - 0 Greater Libertania
(4-2-3-1) 20 - Mercator; 2 - Sanger, 22 - Thorn, 6 - Steelhenge, 3 - Lohengrin (c); 4 - Rowland (23 - Misidjan 60'), 15 - Shone; 7 - Fanaiyan (13 - Kuepper 72'), 14 - Moxham, 16 - Staunton; 17 - Metzger
Goals: Fanaiyan 13', Metzger 22', Lohengrin 26', Moxham 44', Shone 65'

Margravine Fern sniffed as she watched Prime Minister Laidlaw scuttle away. "What an odious little man."
Her bodyguard, Rinehart, was a woman of few words. "Yeah."
"Ah, well." She tapped a button on her phone. "Kurtis? Please send Karagounis up promptly. Thank you."
Dimitri Karagounis was promptly sent up. A lean, well-dressed man, Karagounis was a sharp diplomat with his finger on the international pulse. His mother, Callia, had taken a central role in extricating Nephara from Esportiva - he had followed up the family legacy by helping guide Nephara into the CdC. Moving into politics, a post as Minister of Foreign Affairs had quickly followed, and he was considered a rising star of the Progressive Democrats.
For now, he bowed his head and entered. "Dame Margravine." A military title demanded another military title. Nephara's warlike roots reared their head again.
"You wouldn't believe- well, you probably would believe, you probably already knew." Fern waved a hand irritably. "In any case, Laidlaw made his pitch for a... a trade deal, or some kind of guarantee of independence, or God knows what."
"You turned him down?"
"Damn right I did. He seemed to think his government was under serious threat. 'Democracy itself', as he phrased it. Do you think there's anything in it?"
Karagounis cocked his head. "You didn't know whether or not to believe him, and you turned him down?"
"I don't care about the government of Brenecia. Besides, we don't have the resources to prop up another government. And the people lack the will for it, and I don't blame them. We've lost enough blood in Sameba for the next three generations. But consider it a matter of professional curiosity."
Karagounis did so, without bothering to protest. He knew Fern, like much of the rest of the cabinet, remained intently focused in its foreign policy. Their mandate was to help bring the war in Sameba to a close (done, more or less), withdraw steadily rather than suddenly to smooth over the transition process without being trapped there (on track), put Pravenna and Iskandervale back on their feet (in progress) and forge ironclad links with the CdC (going strongly). Esportiva was yesterday's problem, for all that Brenecia was an issue of Nephara's making. Terranea was the future.
"My professional opinion, Dame Margravine?"
"Yes?"
"Brenecia is fucked."

Nothing was arranged, in the end. Laidlaw flew home looking good for the cameras, and immediately upon his return ramped up the rhetoric, directly addressing rumours of rebellion, the incitement of riots and attacks on government officials particularly widespread in the North. It had to be admitted that Merric Laidlaw had finally turned to bravery, albeit after all options for cowardice had been exhausted.
Gears were set into motion. Guns were run, pamphlets posted, rebellious-minded youths whispered promises into the ears of friends on the fence. The police cracked down on genuine talk of revolution, and then moved on to responding to reasonable demonstrations with brutality. The Four Suits, Brenecia's leading crime barons, met in Falkner to discuss where the wind was blowing. And in Rozelle, an opportunistic white-collar salaryman turned blue-collar petty criminal polished his boots, planning the heist of his life.
And Nephara? Nephara laughed, and moved on. Brenecia really was on its own, unless it could find new friends - fast.

NEPHARIM NATIONAL TEAM SELECTION - FORTNIGHT 5
Goalkeepers:
1 - Apostolos Tsattalios (Falourr, EUR), 12 - Andreas Swoboda (1860 Azoth, CEN), 20 - Hesterine Mercator (Tihon, CMT)
Defenders: 2 - Leona Rafford (Crisisbless), 3 - Sieglinde Lohengrin (Crisisbless), 5 - Dieter Konoval (KT Moreazerua, AUD), 6 - Dragora Steelhenge (Cornellians, SCT), 18 - Eloise Kielseng (Sabrefell Athletic), 19 - Marcin Close (Brinemouth), 22 - Roxelana Thorn (Lammerton, SCT)
Midfielders: 4 - Helmut Chilmark (Holdenberg City, EUR), 7 - Ishtar Fanaiyan (Eastweald, COS), 8 - Rusalka Klein (Crawford City FC, COS), 11 - Rowena Strongbow (Directus, EUR), 13 - Monako Saroszi (Ulsa, EUR), 14 - Chimera Moxham (Port Patrick United, SCT), 15 - Circe Rosenthal (Marionville, SCT), 16 - Marisha Staunton (Crisisbless), 21 - Konrad Gosforth (Mâ Âlâmëómë, FFD, c), 23 - Servet Misidjan (AFC Treason)
Forwards: 9 - Estrella Hawke (Sabrefell Athletic), 10 - Nevaeh Cathar (Avenida Leal, FFD), 17 - Erika Wolff (North Sabrefell)

SCHEDULE
Nephara 1 - 0 Eshan @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
Bongo Johnson 2 - 3 Nephara
Nephara 1
- 0 West Angola @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Nephara 3 - 2 Busoga Islands @ Eagle's Club (Brinemouth)
Cheergirls 2 - 4 Nephara
Nephara 2
- 0 Cosneolta @ The Gauntlet (Treason)
Ancharmunn 0 - 3 Nephara
Nephara 5
- 0 Greater Libertania @ Godswatch (Crisisbless)
EOT vs. Nephara
Eshan vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Bongo Johnson @ The Iron Hill (Vermillion)
West Angola vs. Nephara
Busoga Islands vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Cheergirls @ Phoenix Rise (Corvistone)
Cosneolta vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. Ancharmunn @ Godswatch (Crisisbless)
Greater Libertania vs. Nephara
Nephara vs. EOT @ Farham Arena (Sabrefell)
WCC Grand Slam champion.
Accidental Gridiron Championship Silver Belt holders for six cycles??

Masculine, Feminine and Mixed-Sex Name Generators

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Apox
Minister
 
Posts: 2273
Founded: Jun 30, 2012
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Apox » Sun Sep 09, 2018 5:29 am

Goalkeeper
Centre Defender
Centre Defender
Right Defender


Image

Apoxian All-Time XI - Left Defender


Image
Hans Nielssen
76 caps
7 sub caps
3 goals
International Playing Career: CE4 (WC62) - WC69


So I was trawling through the records, searching for left backs, and realised... Apox hasn't really ever had any truly stand out performers at left back throughout the teams history. There have been a number of pretty dependable left backs for the nation side over the years - thinking Jennie Scott, Aliser Redmond, Ben Hatem - but no Solomon Etezadi's of the position.

In the end I've gone for Hans Nielssen, who was introduced into the side in the fourth Campionato Esportiva - Apox's first tournament victory. He was given a single substitute appearance against 19th Century Beards, a blast from the past there. Throughout World Cup 63 and 64, he remained periphery to the side, often in and amongst the squad but unable to wrest the starting position from Jennie Scott, Fendergeson Numba not trusting the still developing left back with more playing time, even if he was more technically proficient than Scott ahead of him.

By the time World Cup 65 rolled around though, Nielssen was an experienced player in the squad, having now added better game awareness to his playing style, making him much more of an all round player than he was previously. Finally, he had a good run in the side, first in World Cup 66, which was a bit of an unmitigated disaster for the side, and then in World Cup 67, which was one of the national team's best cycles, with Nielssen playing in three of the four games Apox participated in the finals tournament, including the epic battle against Polar Islandstates in the Round of 16.

It would prove to be his peak tournament in an Apoxian shirt, coming under increasing pressure from Ben Hatem for the left back position, with Hatem being a level of technical proficiency higher than Nielssen again, and the two played almost in rotation from Campionato Esportiva 9 onwards. Nielssen played slightly more than Hatem in World Cup 68, but it was another poor qualifiying tournament for Apoxians, and this tainted his image in the eyes of Magnus Fjelden a little, as he was then second fiddle to Ben Hatem in Campionato Esportiva 10 and in the Apoxian hosted World Cup (69). He did get to play in the group stage game against Turori though, a good final game, as he retired internationally after it.

Domestically, Nielssen grew up in the village of Snebworth just outside Mandon, and so that was where he made his breakthrough - getting into the first team aged 20 the season before they were promoted to the ANL for the first time. After a couple of seasons with Mandon, it was clear he was a cut above the rest, and while he had offers from top clubs domestically, he opted instead to transfer to the Mytanar Top League, back when they were at the top of domestic football - moving to Arka Snezhnaya, who had just established themselves in the top tier. Shortly after his arrival, Snezhnaya did spectacularly well in winning the domestic double.

However, his career tailed off after Mytannion domestic football imploded, in the end he just ended up retiring, which was a bit of a sad end to his footballing career. Nowadays, he is heavily involved in the running of Mandon United, which seems to have settled as a yo-yo club between the top two tiers of Apoxian football after a long spell as an established ANL team prior to the hiatus. However, they've invested heavily in youth and are looking towards the future with quite a degree of optimism.

Honourable Mentions
Jennie Scott (71 caps, 9 sub caps, 2 goals, [WC61 - CE7 (WC65)])
James Fowey (66 caps, 2 sub caps, 1 goal, 1 assist, [WC70 - WC79])

Apox 5-0 Acheia Jekyll 33', Arrowsmith 38', Kesov OG 66', Townsend 71', Arrowsmith 78'
APX: Steele -- Beck, Wallis-Iqbal, Jekyll (c), Redmond (Belgrave 77') -- Menheniot (Drawbridge 68'), Townsend, Magarhatery -- Koyaanisqatsi, Arrowsmith, Vladimirescu (Quintero 77')
ACH: Papandreu -- Garpagonakis, Hasidakis, Iuzas -- Jones, Kesov, Panafidis, Ioannu -- Loizos, Sicaris, Stavros

Apox 1-0 Halfdansodal Palmisano, L. 50'
APX: Spitfire -- Fox, Scott, Gandhi, Os. (Jekyll 56'), Redmond -- Menheniot, Magarhatery, Palmisano, J. (c) -- Ephraim-Garza, Palmisano, L., Vladimirescu (Benzari 70')
HDS: Not supplied
The History of Modern NSSports internationalpost.apx (Newswire) The Apoxian Compendium
Winners: Campionato Esportiva IV, V & XVI, World T20 Championships VI, Imperial Chap Olympiad
Runners-up: CoH 58, World T20 Championships V, Campionato Esportiva XII
Third: Campionato Esportiva XIII
Fourth: Campionato Esportiva VII & XV
Baptism of Fire 50, Cup of Harmony 56, World Cup 69, World Cup 73, World Cup 82
Friendly Cups 2 & 6, World T20 Championships II, Campionato Esportiva IV, VIII, XII & XXIII, GCF Season 4, 8 & 10

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Mercedini
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1223
Founded: Mar 05, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Mercedini » Sun Sep 09, 2018 6:09 am

Image
81st World Cup Qualification MD8
Mercedini vs. Anthor
@ Zoloroni Sports City Stadium - Zoloroni, Mercedini


Good morning and welcome back to Mercedini for another round-up of the action in World Cup Qualification as Mercedini play their penultimate match in the first half of qualification, and the last match before their huge crunch match against Vilita in the Longgeylin Coliseum which could define the group from here on out. The Golden Eagles had a perfect run so far, scoring the most number of goals and holding the best record in all of qualifying with a number of big wins against fairly well known names in the realm of the World Cup. Today, they played Anthor at home for their eighth qualifying, with Lyndainium hoping to reach a twenty-fourth win in a row since that loss against Banija in the first leg of the previous World Cup. It's another big name for Mercedini to play in the Sports City, so let's see whether Mercedini can maintain their spot at the top of the group and make it eight out of eight at the start of this rather crazy qualification campaign.

World Cup Qualification: One Off A Quarter Century

FINAL SCORE
WCQ | MD8

MERCEDINI 6
Chillotov 40', 77', Kraljic 43',
Dosic 60', Dostalok 89', Garzallo 90+3'

ANTHOR 1
Rigsby 27'

Zoloroni, Mercedini
Attendance - 57,902
There was a brief wobble in their eighth match of World Cup Qualification but Mercedini's attacking force eventually come through to take all three points in Zoloroni by another sizable margin of six goals to one, lifting them to above five goals per match during qualification and maintaining the best record in qualification thus far. Another large spread of goals meant there was to be no Mercedinian match ball this time, with Chillotov snatching a brace while Kraljic, Dosic Dostalok and Garzallo all contributed to another blowout score line to put their name at the top of most records for WC81 Qualifying. The Golden Eagles now go in with plenty of momentum for the their final group match of the first half, and you cant get much bigger than Vilita as they travel to the 115,000 capacity stadium to round off their qualification half in style and glamour. Both teams have perfect records thus far with Mercedini to of the table thanks to their superior goal difference, but at least one of those teams will lose their 100% records in what could define the group with who qualifies automatically and who has to go through the playoffs

The stadium had a healthy attendance for the match with less than 60,000 making the jorney to Mercedini's national stadium for the match. Pundits and fans have said that they want to make their home stadium a fortress, and that is exactly what they have done so far, not losing a single match in this cycle and notching up a number of eye-catching results (the most notable being their 7-1 win over Tobiasia mid way through the first half). This time it was the claret and gold kits of Anthor which ventured out into the cauldron of the nation's capital, with their patchy form denying them a chance at the big time as they linger in midtable. That match got underway with Anthor looking determined to be the first team to take points from Mercedini in this cycle. They started very well with quick routines and passing play to give a professional air to the team. The Mercedinian defence had their hands full keeping the opposition at bay, with Chillotov and Dostalok having to fall back into midfield to soak up the pressure and get involved with the game, as they were obviously having no luck staying upfront.

In a big shake-up to the established order in the group stage, Anthor took a surprise lead in the match through captain and striker Jason Rigsby with a major goalkeeping error from Martin Hovek. Anthor got themselves into an advanced position on the field with Bissette looking for a cross towards the penalty spot. Bissette cut inside and sent in an in-swinging cross which was contested by both Hovek and Rigsby. The Langtree United got ahead in the race and elected to punch, which turned out to be a big mistake in the scheme of the match. The spin of the ball meant the ball landed awkwardly off the glove and straight off the face of Rigsby. All the Anthorian had to do was control it and slot it into the empty net, 1-0 Anthor with the team celebrating wildly against a deafly muted Sports City Stadium. They now had a job to do to save the match with a determined Anthor side looking good their money with their performance so far in the first half.

Mercedini had to work for their goals with a number of clear cut chances being spurned wide to straight at the goalkeeper, with the Sports City Stadium getting tetchy with the results finally going against them in qualifying. However, the attacking prowess of the home side shone through to net two quick goals in a dramatic turnaround in fortunes for both sides. First, Chillotov got his game up and running as he was fed through by Garzallo into the box, and the Azoth striker made no mistake as he dinked the ball over the goalkeeper for an equaliser. No celebration from the players as Chillotov picked up the ball from the half way line to place on the centre spot for a quick restart. That momentum wasn't lost on the Mercedinian players as the Golden Eagles quickly regained possession to take the ball upfield. Anthor were resolute in defence, stopping any pass that was trying to break through. An opportunistic Nymark shot was unleashed and was curving in the air as it flew towards goal, time seemed to stop as the goalkeeper parried it onto the bar and a number of players rushed to the second ball. Kraljic popped unexpectedly by beating the offside line to sweep up and slot the second ball past the defenders on the line and into the side of the goal to complete a turnaround which could be big in the way the group is going. Mercedini had turned it around, with the Golden Eagles leading 2-1 at the end of an intriguing first half for many of the fans in the stadium

Half-time entertainment was largely overlooked by the fans during the interval, with Mercedini challenged in a match for one of the first times in this cycle, Anthor proving not to be the pushovers that many people in attendance would have expected from a team languishing in mid-table, double digits away from the qualifying and playoff spots. The teams came back out for the second half with no conversation from the players and their respective management teams, they knew they were in it for the long slog from the evidence of that opening forty-five minutes. Mercedini got the second half underway with many of the fans still returning to their seats for the conclusion of what ultimately turned out to be a one sided score line, thanks to a second half blowout from the home side.

The Dini all but wrapped up the match on the hour mark from a corner with Dosic's hard and firm header from the edge of the box able to soar above the heads of the defenders and into the top corner of the net. The Golden Eagles were now looking comfortable in the match after that early wobble, but eyes still had to be diverted to the match featuring Vilita, with goal difference playing a key factor in this group after both team's perfect records and going strong in these matches. A further goal from Chollotov to mark his brace plus goals from Dostalok and Garzallo in the final minutes of the game capped off a remarkable turnaround in the game, with the Mercedinian team hitting Anthor for six after the burgundy and gold side went ahead in the first half. Mercedini have not scored less that three goals in a game and now average above five goals a game for their opening eight games. They go in with plenty of momentum for their final group game against Vilita tomorrow, a three points there could spell World Cup Qualification half way through the calendar. Of course, Mercedini have not beaten Vilita in any of those previous meeting with all happened around World Cup 77 when both teams qualified from the same group, only for Vilita to be drawn with Mercedini in the World Cup finals. Will it be fourth time lucky for the team in blue and black? We will know in about 24 hours time, but for now it's finished Mercedini 6, Anthor 1.

That's all from us, we will be making the long trip to the Longgeylin as we round off the first half of qualification with the big one. Pots 1 & 2 will face off against each other tomorrow in what will likely draw the eyes of foreign viewers, with the match between Ko-oren and South Covello the other match up featuring two perfect teams. Chillotov and Dostalok will likely have to bring their a-game if they want to spring a surprise in Vilita, although domestic and national teams have both found success in Vilita in recent seasons. We hope you will be able to join us for what will be a clash of the titans. From here in Zoloroni, goodnight!
.................................................................................................................................
Novapax Founder • Host Portfolio • Trophy Cabinet
World CupBest: Group Stage ('77, '81, '82, '83)
Cup of HarmonyBest: Champion ('72)
U21 World CupBest: 3rd Place ('43)
U18 World CupBest: Champion ('4)
Independents CupBest: Champion ('5)
WC of HockeyBest: 2nd Place ('37)
WJHCBest: Champion ('13)
WorldVision
Best Placing: 1st (Lipa '72)Most Points: 108 pts (Lipa '72)

World Hit Festival
Best Placing: 1st ('34 & '36)Most Pts: 34 pts (Mousiki '31)
Junior World Hit Festival
Best Placing: 3rd ('3, '4 & '5)Most Pts: 26 pts (Tushlark '5)
Mercedini in WVSC & WHFs

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Abanhfleft
Senator
 
Posts: 3537
Founded: May 26, 2008
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Abanhfleft » Sun Sep 09, 2018 6:49 am

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...


The Football Fallacies
with Graham O'Doherty


You know what? I feel like I'm in the mood for a football flashback. But we won't be flashing back on any particular international match (although I might think about going down that route a little bit later on). What I'm thinking about right now is one of the craziest football games that have ever been played in the Democratic Republic. You know what I'm talking about. Yes, you got it right: it's the 2024 SFA Cup Final between Sarvusdalamoive and Tefel. It was the final where Tefel won their first ever SFA Cup and made their very first foray into international football with their qualification to the UICA Cup Winners' Cup (aka the Cygnus Cup) where they didn't last very long, getting smashed 5-1 on aggregate by Drawkland's Drawk City Troopers. But that's not our focus right now. Our focus will be on the 2024 SFA Cup Final between Sarvusdalamoive and Tefel. Let's get cracking.

2024 SFA Cup Final: Sarvusdalamoive vs. Tefel (May 26 Revolution Memorial Stadium, Riuwiee)
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TEFEL
GK: 1 Calvin Dosch
RB: 24 Rick Cudd ↓ 75'
RCB: 15 Julian Chason ↓ 65'
LCB: 3 Rodger Hartfield (c)
LB: 29 Jerry Hendrickson 53'
RM: 5 Evan Kittelson
RCM: 6 August Nunemaker ↓ 100'
LCM: 16 Armando Ahumada
LM: 11 Dan Drakeford 13'
RS: 9 Neil Singletary 95'
LS: 20 Roldan Robles

SUBSTITUTES
GK: 13 Geoffrey Pagan
RB: 22 Emmett Rothe ↑ 75'
CB: 4 Leroy Vanpatten ↑ 65'
LB: 26 Carroll Westover ↑ 100' 120+2'
CM: 7 Russel Dona
CM: 8 Noel Olson
ST: 35 Dennis Schultz
SARVUSDALAMOIVE
GK: 23 Ernest Meachum
RB: 2 Percy Filkins ↓ 83'
RCB: 20 Kris Gorgone ↓ 59'
LCB: 4 Grant Daum (c) 118'
LB: 3 Dillon Repogle 81'
RM: 15 Adam Lopez ↓ 76'
CM: 27 Toumain Vincelot
LM: 18 Robert Nemtsov
RW: 8 Delmar Grover ↓ 106'
ST: 9 Conrado Azucarrera
LW: 11 Edgardo Kaczmarski

SUBSTITUTES
GK: 1 Nathaniel Croker
CB: 21 Ustin Mishutin ↑ 83'
CB: 5 Lynwood Hosmer ↑ 59'
RM: 36 Jeffery Favorite ↑ 76' 90+2'
CM: 50 Armando Robertson
LM: 20 Paul Wilde ↑ 106'
ST: 34 Russell Long
All right now, so where should we start with this crazy game, huh? Why not right at the beginning, where the vast majority of stories often does start. In fact, let's start from before the beginning of this game. Let's give it a little bit of a background, shall we? Let's go have a look at how these two teams got to the May 26 Stadium and the 2024 SFA Cup Final.

Road to the Final: Sarvusdalamoive
So we start off with the Pinks, who, being a Premier League team, entered the SFA Cup at the third round. They were drawn away against Berezovsky United, playing in the Unang Liga for the 2024-25 season. The Bluebirds have been at the bottom of the table since October, but you wouldn't be able to tell that the way that they played against Sarvus for their SFA Cup tie. Berezovsky actually led Sarvus 2-1 for part of the second half before Ustin Mishutin's header drew the Pinks level and forced thirty more minutes of play. Now I know that some of you out there are still bitter about the fact that replays are no longer a thing in the SFA Cup, but personally I think it's better for clubs to play 120 minutes plus penalties on one night instead of trying to squeeze another 90-minute game into what is already a tightly packed schedule. But we're not here to talk about replays; we're here to talk about Sarvusdalamoive's victory over Berezovsky United, which they got thanks to a late goal from Armando Robertson.

On to the Fourth Round then, and Sarvusdalamoive were once again drawn away to yet another Unang Liga team, this time Rodrigues FC. Sarvus' quality showed through this time around though, with Conrado Azucarrera bagging a brace and Delmar Grover netting a goal for the Pinks as they booked their ticket to the Fifth Round. Sarvus were beginning to look like lower league specialists seeing as this time they were drawn against Tentenaraya Rovers. They were still drawn away from home though, and the long trip from Sarvusdalamoive to Tentenaraya must have surely played a factor in why the Pinks won by only one goal, a header from captain Grant Daum. But hey, it's still a victory, so it's off to the quarterfinals with them, and a trip to the May 26 Memorial Stadium for what would turn out to be a dress rehearsal for their semifinals and final fixtures as Sarvusdalamoive were finally drawn against Premier League opposition in the form of the capital club Riuwiee United. Only one goal was also scored between these two teams, and it was Dillon Repogle's long-range strike that made sure that the Pinks would be returning to the May 26 Stadium for the semifinals.

Oh, boy, the Sarvusdalamoive semifinal. They were up against another Premier League team in Admiral Porcusces, still as the nominal away team, and everyone was expecting a cracker of a game. Oh, we had no idea how much of a cracker it would turn out to be. When Conrado Azucarrera scored the first of his three goals in this game in the 10th minute, we thought that it could very well be the only goal of the game; he scored it through sheer trickery on his part. We had no way of knowing that six more goals were about to come our way. That being said, we thought that Azucarrera's hat trick would put the game to bed. And then Toumain Vincelot scored a fourth goal for the Pinks, and both Armando Robertson and young Andy Hosking also got in on the goalscoring madness before Vincelot capped off this mad display of goalscoring prowess. Talk about an absolute beatdown!

Road to the Final: Tefel
On to the other finalist then, and their road to the May 26 Stadium. They, like their opposition Sarvusdalamoive, entered the SFA Cup in the Third Round as an Unang Liga team, and they were drawn away against Liga Ikatlo side Al-Wilayat. The team from the Antslinngs Islands were easy opposition for the Hillmen to take care of, and they advanced to the Fourth Round on the back of goals from Armando Ahumada and Dan Drakeford. Tefel were once again drawn away in the Fourth Round, this time to Premier League opposition in the form of newly promoted Electric Yugal. That didn't scare Tefel at all though because the Hillmen swept the Bolts aside 4-0, and Neil Singletary collected a brace in this SFA Cup game. Into the Fifth Round it is, and Tefel were drawn at home against the last remaining National Conference team standing, Verrokib South End. Now this was before the days that VSE stomped their way to the Liga Ikatlo title by a whopping 130 points, so there was practically nothing to fear about Verrokib, and Tefel walked away from that contest with a comfortable 2-0 win.

Into the quarterfinals we go, and Tefel stay at home while Liga Ikatlo side Purzat Rovers pay them a visit. Veteran defender Leroy Vanpatten scored the only and deciding goal that put Tefel through to the semifinals of the SFA Cup, where the Hillmen have been drawn as the nominal away team against Rosenpfelblatz City, favorites to win the SFA Cup now that the majority of the Premier League's top eight teams are gone. Ah, but that's not what happened now, is it? Mosi Okoye may have scored first for the Citizens but then Chris Haralampiev scored an unfortunate own goal to start off the second half, and Tefel pounced on the shaken Rosen City back line to pull off one of the greatest SFA Cup upsets ever in the history of the competition.

So now the stage is set for one of the greatest ever SFA Cup Finals in history. It may be one of the greatest for not the right reasons but I doubt any of their fans will care about that. Let us dive into this match and analyze how events unfolded.

Summary
All I can say is that Sarvusdalamoive had the dream start to their SFA Cup Final after Conrado Azucarrera headed in the first of his three goals that game in just the 5th minute. Then Tefel put themselves back in the game thanks to Dan Drakeford's 12th minute strike, and he received a yellow card because he removed his shirt to celebrate before Sarvus got back the lead a minute before the half hour through Azucarrera's second goal. August Nunemaker then scored Tefel's second equalizer within five minutes of Azucarrera's second, but Delmar Grover then restored Sarvusdalamoive's lead with one minute to go in the first half.

Azucarrera completed his hat trick four minutes into the second half to seemingly put the game to bed but Tefel refused to give up on their dream of winning their first ever SFA Cup. Neil Singletary scored in the 56th minute to make the score 4-3, still to Sarvus, and then it seemed as if the match was headed for that particular final result coming into the last ten minutes. Jerry Hendrickson equalized for the Hillmen yet again in the 80th minute before Roldan Robles finally found the back of the net after eight attempts, the joint-highest number of attempts recorded by a player in the SFA Cup before finally scoring alongside Xemlice Rovers' Frank Brandenburg in the 1998 SFA Cup Final. Tefel thought that Robles' goal had won them their first ever SFA Cup, but as the three minutes of added time wound down, Sarvusdalamoive's mercurial central midfielder Toumain Vincelot let loose a rocket of a shot that managed to elude Calvin Dosch's outstretched glove to put the Pinks back on an equal footing and force thirty more minutes of play in order to determine a winner.

Nothing happened in those thirty minutes that Vincelot managed to get for Sarvus though, and so the winner of the 2024 SFA Cup Final would have to be determined by penalties yet again. Tefel chose to kick first and all five players made their penalty kicks. Paul Wilde, the fourth penalty taker for Sarvusdalamoive, saw his shot hit the left hand post (from his point of view) and that allowed Roldan Robles the opportunity to cement his status as a Tefel legend by slotting home his penalty kick methodically and win Tefel their first ever SFA Cup.

So that's it for me at the moment. We've gone back in time to remember the 2024 SFA Cup Final. Forgive me if this reminiscing wasn't up to my usual standard; I've been spending time alternating between time with Gaelic Gamers and real life. Now that this is done, I might take a good long rest. I don't know when I'll be back, but for certain what I'm going to do is go through the rest of the World Cup qualifiers. So long, and XOXO from Graham...
The Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft
Leader: President Rako Novoire

Territories and dependencies:
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Oontaz Dert Li Ng
Copper Cuprum
Trendstart
Economic Left/Right: -1.72
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 0.88
Second place winner in the International Baseball Slam VI
Third place winner in the World Lacrosse Championship XIX
Winner of the Baptism of Iron XVI!
Third place winner in the 33rd Di Bradini Cup!

Third place winner of the International Baseball Slam VIII
Winner of World Lacrosse Championships 22!

I also write stories. Would you like to read my works?

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Polkopia
Minister
 
Posts: 2904
Founded: Jun 06, 2011
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Polkopia » Sun Sep 09, 2018 8:04 am

Image

Image


Baal FC is a club which plays in the Polkopian Premier League. At the end of the last season, the pirates finished in 5th place and continue to play in the top flight of Polkopian football for the upcoming season. The team currently plays in the city of Scorilo, and their home ground is the Icicle Arena, which seats up to 87,012 spectators.


History:

Baal FC was officially established in 1970 and is one of the newest clubs to participate in the 2018-19 Polkopian Premier League. The club's establishment is unique because it was not established on the order of the PFA, nor did a wealthy businessman or woman initiate the founding of the club, but instead was established due to the increased pressure of local sailors and merchants on the PFA. The city of Scorilo is regarded as one of the more important port cities for Polkopia, and is where many boaters dock their boat for the night, before venturing out the next morning. Many sailors during the 1960's felt as if though the increased popularity of football throughout Polkopia excluded them, as they were often busy during weekends, where the majority of matches were played.

The first club in Scorilo was established in 1968, and went by the name of Morechki FC, whose name translates to English as "little sea" FC. The club never allocated enough funds to apply to join the Polkopian Premier League, but instead began in the regional division, where it played against some of the major teams' youth divisions. At this point, the club was solely funded by the sailors docking in the city, and many who played did so for leisure rather than competition, however, the club was dissolved in the following year due to administrative issues.

In 1970, the PFA had received numerous petitions to establish a club in Scorilo, and the prospect of alluring tourism to a city more known for its maritime industry seemed promising, so in that year, FC Baal was formed, but didn't immediately join the Premier League unlike many teams. The club was originally founded in the Second Division and by 1978, qualified for the Premier League for the first time in the club's short history.

Throughout the 80's, the club was relegated two times to the second division - once in 1986 and once in 1989. After being relegated a second time, the club was never promoted to the Polkopian Premier League until 2001. Since that year, the club has not been relegated since, but has failed to qualify for any international competitions.

In 2015, the club was disbanded, along with the other Polkopian clubs, due to a large-scale corruption scandal across the entirety of the PFA. The club was reestablished the following year and Baal FC participated in the 2017-18 Polkopian Premier League, finishing 13th out of 16 teams.

Squad:

##       POS.        NAME.                                                   
#1 GK Image Borko Ferro
#2 GK Image Gordan Košar
#3 GK Image Rufino Marić
#18 DEF Image Mikhail Poloz
#10 DEF Image Andrei Kit
#4 DEF Image Sasha Baridinov
#19 DEF Image Luca Varam
#23 DEF Image Nikolai Benson
#44 DEF Image Aleksandr Tillman
#14 MID Image Arkadi Broz
#19 MID Image Makariy Gomes
#9 MID Image Markus Riffman
#16 MID Image Vlasiy Novak
#35 MID Image Pankrati Filipović
#62 MID Image Duarte Nogueira
#12 FWD Image Roman Vinković
#11 FWD Image Kostya Mashpan
#9 FWD Image Dmitry Hoffman
#20 FWD Image Axel Puff
Last edited by Polkopia on Sun Sep 09, 2018 8:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Check out the Polkopian Premier League

1st place: 8 Times (WV25, WV30, WV35 WV39, WV44, WV48, WV50, WV75)
2nd place: 2 Times (WV26, WV34)
3rd place (8 Times: WV27, WV31, WV32, WV37, WV54, WV59, WV70, WV72)

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Tinhampton
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13702
Founded: Oct 05, 2016
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Tinhampton » Sun Sep 09, 2018 8:25 am

Image
TFA MATCH STATPACK: Tinhampton 2-0 Octinstine
Venue: Octin Park, Octinhampton, Alternative Universe

STARTING LINEUPS and their USED SUBSTITUTES:
  • Tinhampton (4-1-3-2): 1. Josh SMITH (GK), 2. William POTTER, 3. Harry PORTER, 14. Davina SALT, 5. Peter WRIGHT, 6. Michael YOUNG, 7. Ian JONES (C), 20. Reece FORD, 9. Fred BALL, 10. Priscilla EVANS, 11. Ian GRAHAM
  • Octinstine (4-1-3-2): 1. Ryan ELLIOTT (GK), 2. Evan MORRIS, 3. Henry BANNISTER (former coach of Tinhampton), 4. Nathaniel GEORGE, 5. Brian SMALL, 6. Aihlo VATUNSKA, 7. Steve Cameron, 8. Jacob NORTH, 9. Mohammed al-KHAZR, 10. Simon WOOD (C), 11. Ben WILLIAMSON
    Unable to play: Jamie Valley (TIN)
GOALS: Ian GRAHAM 76'55'' (TIN), Reece FORD 82'14'' (TIN).
CARDS: None.
INJURIES: None.
OTHER INCIDENTS: Octinstine were represented today by Tinhampton's substitute bench, in lieu of any players from their nation, and was coached by second-choice Tinhamptonian goalkeeper Theresa WATERMAN (of TIN).
Forays of Folly
Season 1, Episode 9: This Is Your Vote, Isn't It?

By now, as you are surely aware, Tinhampton was in its largest heap of trouble in... what can only be described as "a number of years." With Price and Howard having threatened each other - and their positions - the Azadistani School of Leadership witnessing controversy in Tinhampton, and money being diverted from the interior to make the world safe for Tinhamptonian democracy, now Foreign Minister Kevin Wright has gone as far as to produce a statement unveiling Tinhamptonian support of Change 2018 in Viksberg... written by the Mayor. As Brian Porterson elaborates on in his usually-excellent "Our Man Elsewhere" column, the government's recent decision to endorse the Viksbergian ruling party has led to a pot stirred even further.
Image
OUR MAN ELSEWHERE: A RUTHLESSLY PITHY HISTORY OF VIKSBERG
With the Tinhamptonian government's official endorsement of Change 2018 under fire, Brian Porterson here at The Herald recalls how Viksberg could be facing a new standpoint

Viksberg should be a mildly unstable liberal democracy slightly to the north and east of us. Thanks to John Price's recent shoddy decision-making, however, the country could not possibly be further front and centre of contemporary Tinhamptonian geopolitics - I will, as I so often do, aim to provide a halfway-comprehensive outline of how Viksberg (and this situation) got to be. Unfortunately, halfway is all I can really do!

Although their national history is fairly complex, let me reassure you that Viksberg, as of late, has gone through more leaders than Tinhampton has managers - firstly Jaakko Valkolahti (of which nothing is known), then Juhani Saarinen (of which little is now known), then Niko Suominen of the personality cult, then King Gustav Philip XVI (again, of whom little is known), then Oleg Glagolev, and - at current rates of progress - would-be economic liberalisation superheroine Heidi Lõoke. It is from the Suominen era onwards, as I will now elaborate on, that the most political turmoil has occurred.

Suominen, who took power after Saarinen's death in November (and seemingly divorced Henrik Pääsuke not long after the latter's appointment as Kentalian ambassador to wed Leevi Järvenpää), oversaw the transition of the nation from a Trotskyite to a more generally socialist state. By April, cracks were showing in the system, not long after the liberal Coalition tagged onto the Workers' Nationalist Party, sparking ire in the WNP. Suominen cracked that month, ceding power to King Gustav Philip, before the nation went on a brief honeymoon with the Social Democrat-Progressive Alliance coalition. Is this an oversimplification? Yes, it is, as we can tell through the life stories of Glagolev's three major challengers.

The fall of the WNP can be traced back to modern-day Social Democrat leader Daniel Jansson, who led a mass strike after failing to convince his Presidential friend Suominen to allow democratic elections, thus forcing Suominen's hand into allowing democracy. This came subsequent to the March on Forssa - itself counting Lõoke, five-time ambassador by age 21, among its major leaders - and the arrest of major Communist politicians by the army, itself aided by what we know today as Change 2018 and the Patriotic Party of Viksburg clashing with Communist supporters in what proved to be the regime's death knell.

By July, popular protest - or so I believe - deposed the king and later allowed modern General Secretary Oleg Glagolev with the Change 2018 party to swing into power with a majority. (It is he, not former GS and now President Juha Ojala, that holds the cards.) Now let's get this straight: once a young coal miner, now Glagolev is a conservative hero - having cracked down on the corruptors of youth, shut down the labour camps and opened up the free market - although some of his actions have been of dubious savouriness as of late, so I am told. Elections have now been scheduled for what appears to be more like a month than a couple of weeks, which suggest that the liberal Viksbergian Coalition will win power.

This does not, however, fail to pale in front of Tinhampton's recent actions in endorsing him, which not only falls foul of the Constitution but gives off the impression that the Tin City is actively working in favour of political corruption. Actually, it probably is political corruption, more than cognizant of the dogpiling that has been further foisted upon us with this latest action - Simon Phillips' near-assassination in Azadistan, Vanessa Davis' husband's imminent unwise move to become Munkchester's Lord-Chief Constable, the three royal hostages in Transarid, that war, complaints of defunding the education department, Masongate... Every misstep made in this utter shenanigans means one more misstep that will be made when worst comes to worst and John Price is forced out of his position.

Not only this, but as a result of this falsely-attributed move and the countless falsely-presumed moves made before it, literally every other cabinet minister has his (or her) place on the line. The actions of Mayor Price are not only flagrantly unacceptable, but have threatened the democracy and stability of several other nations in the multiverse, even including Tinhampton. Scrutiny is an absolute must for all parties involved in the sheer shambles that has been the Indian summer of Tinhamptonian failings.

As a belated aside, with apologies to the late, great, and most competent female Foreign Minister Isabelle Cook (RIP 1935-2014), "hell if I know!" should always be your default attitude towards Viksbergian politics. The WNP was forced into allowing democracy in April when there were already eight parties - including one die-hard conservative caucus and one classical liberal party - in the legislature. In June, the Social Democrats were allied with the Progressive Alliance, before ditching them to ally with Change 2018 the following month, who somehow have a majority as of this election in September. Do not be surprised, therefore, if the Nordic Liberation Front goes into coalition with Shariah for Viksberg! after this election.
The Self-Administrative City of TINHAMPTON (pop. 329,537): Saffron Howard, Mayor (UCP); Alexander Smith, WA Delegate-Ambassador

Authorships & co-authorships: SC#250, SC#251, Issue #1115, SC#267, GA#484, GA#491, GA#533, GA#540, GA#549, SC#356, GA#559, GA#562, GA#567, GA#578, SC#374, GA#582, SC#375, GA#589, GA#590, SC#382, SC#385*, GA#597, GA#607, SC#415, GA#647, GA#656, GA#664, GA#671, GA#674, GA#675, GA#677, GA#680, Issue #1580, GA#682, GA#683, GA#684, GA#692, GA#693, GA#715
The rest of my CV: Cup of Harmony 73 champions; Philosopher-Queen of Sophia; *author of the most popular SC Res. ever; anti-NPO cabalist in good standing; 48yo Tory woman w/Asperger's; Cambridge graduate ~ currently reading The World by Simon Sebag Montefiore

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Krytenia
Senator
 
Posts: 4551
Founded: Apr 22, 2004
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Krytenia » Sun Sep 09, 2018 8:29 am

Rami Niblick hated it when the phone rang in the middle of writing. If he could turn the damn thing off, he would, but in journalism you never know when that important call would come. He turned his attention away from the laptop and towards the ringing smartphone. It was a number he didn't recognise, but the international and area codes jumped out at him.

Cathair, Audioslavia. Rami sighed. Really? he thought, but answered the phone anyway.

"Alright, Jeremy, I'll bite. What you up to this time?"
"Mr Niblick?"
"That's...unusually formal. Don't tell me you're using me for your one phonecall!"
"Mr Niblick, this is Detective Inspector Wyatt-Holmes of the Cathair Police Constabulary. I don't know who this Jeremy is, but I'm not him."
Rami laughed. "OK, JJ, that's a good one. Better than your usual McVitie crap."
"Excuse me?!?"
"D.I. Wyatt-Holmes."
"Yes, that's my name, Mr Niblick."
"Of course it is. Have you been...building up to that one? Thought you had it nailed? Wanted to decorate your resumé with something a bit different? Though impersonating a police officer is a new one for you, I'll give you that..."
"OH FOR THE LOVE OF..." Rami heard some muffled conversation in the background. A female then spoke to him. "Mr Niblick, this is Constable Betsy Aarden. We really are from the Cathair police, and we hoped you might be able to help us with some enquiries. Don't worry, you're not under suspicion, it's just...well, the case in question could be described as cold. Very cold."
"Wait, so this has nothing to do with Jaffacake?"
"Not as far as we know, Mr Niblick."
"Please, call me Rami. So, how can I help?"
"I revel in the nonsense; it's why I'm in Anaia."
Capital: Emberton ⍟ RP Population: ~180,000,000 ⍟ Trigram: KRY ⍟ iTLD: .kt ⍟ Demonym: Krytenian, Krytie (inf.)
Languages: English (de jure), Spanish, French, Welsh (regional)

Hosts: Cup of Harmony 7, AOCAF 1, Cup of Harmony 15, World Cup 24, AOCAF 13, World Cup 29, AOCAF 17, AOCAF 23, World Cup 40, Cup of Harmony 32, Baptism of Fire 32, AOCAF 27, Baptism of Fire 36, World Cup 50, Baptism of Fire 40, Cup of Harmony 64, AOCAF 48, World Cup 75, AOCAF 40, Cup of Harmony 80, CAFA 2
Champions: AOCAF 52, Cup of Harmony 78, CAFA 6
Runner-Up: AOCAF 7, World Cup 58, Cup of Harmony 80, CAFA 1
Creator, AOCAF & Cygnus Cup - Host, VI Winter Olympics (Ashton) & VII Summer Olympics (Emberton)

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Turori
Diplomat
 
Posts: 815
Founded: Apr 03, 2004
Democratic Socialists

Postby Turori » Sun Sep 09, 2018 9:31 am

Image


Cocoabo Return to Cocoabo Forest looking for Extra Edge


Cocoabo Team Schedule:


[W] 4-2 MD1 v. Valladares
(Cednia Beach Center, Cednia)

[D] 2-2 MD2 v. Petrovskia


[W] 4-0 MD6 v. Michine
(Cocoabo Park Arena, Cocoabo Forest)

[D] 0-0 MD7 @ New Lusitania


MD12 v. Guadalajara
(Kionao Minor Field, Kionao)

MD13 @ Central Shaneville


MD17 @ Jeckland


MD18 v. Ndaku
(Cocoabo Park Arena, Cocoabo Forest)


Cocoabo Enrichment & Enhancement Center, Cocoabo Park, Cocoabo Forest :: After their unplanned 'show and tell' session in Beepee where Turori's National Cocoabo squad tried to steal a match on the schedule and ended up serving as poster-bo's for the Cocoabo Preservation Society, the Cocoabo Squad returned home to the Cocoabo Forest for a match against Michine. It would be highs to lows for the Cocoabo after a big win over Michine it was a disappointing goalless draw against New Lusitania to close out the first half of Qualifications for the Cocoabo. They returned once again to the Cocoabo Forest for an extended break while Turori's National Citizen Squad took the reigns for a four-match stretch including three away matches which Tropicorp Scientists and Cocoabo Park Associates felt might be an unnecessary burden on the Cocoabo Squad.

The Cocoabo Squad returned to Cocoabo Park at the same time as Vilita & Turori Motorsports's Cocoabo #23 who was coming off a tough week of racing in Aels where the race started late after a delay and Fast Cocoaobo, who came into the event as the WGP2 Series Drivers Standings leader, struggled to keep the pace and barely finished on the lead lap of the race, outside of the points in 12th position. It was a stark contrast from the prior race weekend inside the Cocoabo Forest when Cocoabo #23 became the first Vilita & Turorian driver to win a World Grand Prix sanctioned event on home soil.

With Cocoabo #23 and Turori's National Cocoabo Squad being the biggest faces of the Cocoabo Preservation movement to the sporting world, the Cocoabo Enrichment and Enhancement Project decided it would be a perfect time to get everyone back to the training grounds and review some fundamentals to ensure that the recent drop in form both on the track and on the pitch didn't get worse after the small break in the two sports schedules.

There were sport specific sessions and then there were joint sessions where Cocoabo #23 joined the Cocoabo Squad in strength and stamina training as well as focus and awareness exercises. The Cocoabo had fought hard to get to the point of acceptance as a serious contender in their respective sports, with Cocoabo #23 finishing second in the first World Grand Prix 2 drivers championship and Turori's National Cocoabo Squad reaching the Quarter Finals of the EqueStar World Cup 80. Now the Cocoabo Park and Cocoabo Enrichment and Enhancement Project team were looking give their Cocoabo the final edge to push them above the realm of relevant and into the echelon of Championship Caliber contention.


Image
Last edited by Turori on Sun Sep 09, 2018 9:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
<Silexhera> Why does Turori make sense? :p

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Darkmania
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1041
Founded: Oct 18, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Darkmania » Sun Sep 09, 2018 9:42 am

ÖRKENDREM PAPERS

First Draw For Darkmania

Discustion article written by: Some bloke who cant speak or write in english.
Crystalline Caverns 0–0 Darkmania

While Darkmania had good chances to score and to move up from 5th place in their group, in the end, the game went goalless, being the first draw for the national team as they had 4 wins and 3 loss before. "We are halfway there. And we are so close. We can improve us. Trust us."Manager Däniël Rëspertner tells us on the plane home to the home nation. "Trust me." He says with a face that looks like is either sure or unsure. While the national team has surprised with a strong 6-2 opening and is the 3rd in the group in terms of number of goals scored with 17 in 8 matches (Only Mriin with 28 and Dreamplanet with 19 has scored more). So it looks like Darkmania might either debut or not. Its all depended on the final matches.
26/M/NORWAY #DMN
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South Covello
Envoy
 
Posts: 254
Founded: Nov 24, 2017
Left-Leaning College State

Postby South Covello » Sun Sep 09, 2018 10:19 am

From the Desk of Acting President Darian Clarke

To:
Ko-orenite Foreign Ministry
Mandatory Public Information Disclosure: Under the South Covellan Public Information Act (SCPIA), this communication and any response received to it are public information within South Covello which may be accessed through a public-facing website from anywhere with an internet connection. Do not include any information in your response which you do not wish to potentially be made public knowledge.

Dear Ministry,

I am writing in response to your inquiry as to the current state of our relationship between our nations. Although I am only Acting President, and will be replaced soon following the election, it is my intention for our nations to continue to be allies into the future. However, as pretty much all candidates running for President are doing to on an anti-war stance, it is highly unlikely this alliance will include any sort of military support. That being said, we are not looking to make any enemies either, at least now that John Green is gone, and I am confident that whoever is elected President will not seek to antagonize Ko-oren or any other nation. Perhaps we can discuss trade deals as we have with other nations, bringing Ko-orenite businesses to a growing economy. But that would be up to my successor, as I am merely acting President and my role is that of a caretaker. Therefore, any more detailed arrangements will need to be referred to the new President once one is elected and takes office.

That being said, I do not feel the safety of the Ko-orenite national soccer team in South Covello is in danger in any way. The situation has simmered down for the time being, John Green has been removed as President, and we are once again a nation at peace. There are certain to be a lot of election activities in the coming days, but they will be that of a free, democratic society and you do not need to pay them any mind if you do not wish to.

In summary, I believe there is great potential for a strong, positive relationship between our two nations, but the exact details will have to wait to be ironed out until after the coming election. In the short term, however, the status quo can and will be maintained, and there is no threat nor danger whatsoever to any Ko-orenite interests in South Covello or anywhere else within our sphere of influence.

Thank you for taking the time to read this response, and please let me know if you have any questions. Do note the disclaimer at the top of this message regarding government transparency, which we feel is of the utmost importance to avoid repeating the mistakes of the Gregist regime. We understand not all countries share our values, but we consider this matter non-debatable.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Darian Clarke
Speaker of the South Covellan Legislature and Acting President of South Covello

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Dreamplanet
Minister
 
Posts: 2043
Founded: Sep 05, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby Dreamplanet » Sun Sep 09, 2018 12:49 pm

Image

LOSS TO MRIIN COMPLICATES ROUTE TO PLAY-OFFS


Image

Aaron Hungar chasing the ball against Solara Vol


Mriin were the highest ranked side, and they showed it by putting 4 goals past a hopeful Dreamplanet. Prior to this match, Dreamplanet were tied on points with Jeruselem, only behnd due to losing the match aganist Jeruselem, Mriin were fighting off Abahnfleft, their nearest competitor pointswise.

The match started well for Os Tricores, with Luis Silva scoring from a 44th minute penalty to put the home team ahead, with Geraard Tavol being booked for handball, leading to the penalty. The Dreamplanetian fans in the stadium were hopeful as every win would be necessary to catch up against Jeruselem. However the lead wouldn't last as Vernan Quill equalled the match with a longshot, the Dreamplanetian squad started to get nervous, and rightfully so as the favourites to top the group got the lead through a Solara Vol headed goal past Filipe Vaz, who was starting to become the hero of the match with plenty of important saves.

Image


And then things only started getting worse for Dreamplanet as Vol got her second of the game with a low shot from close range, at this point Dreamplanet knew that the game was lost, Mriin kept shutting them out and the players were looking disinterested, this culminated in Mriin's 4th goal, scored by Mako Silanii at the 88th minute with a good counter-attack in where Silanii ran past the defence to conclude a horrible game for the hopeful Dreamplanet team.

This meant an end to Dreamplanet's 4 game winstreak, their best streak of results of all time, and this would put them 3 points adrift of Jeruselem, who had beaten Abahnfleft.

Dreamplanet 1 - 4 Mriin
(Luis Silva 44' - Vernan Quill 53', Solara Vol 61', 75', Mako Silanii 88')
Estadio Unido, Dreamplanet


Saturday September 1st - MD1: Dreamplanet 1-2 Jeruselem
Sunday September 2nd - MD2: Lycrabon 1-1 Dreamplanet
Monday September 3rd - MD3: Dreamplanet 1-2 Abanhfleft
Tuesday September 4th - MD4: Dreamplanet 2-1 Crystalline Caverns
Wednesday September 5th - MD5: Mareibat 3-4 Dreamplanet
Thursday September 6th - MD6: Dreamplanet 6-2 Neo-Romanum
Friday September 7th - MD7: Darkmania 1-3 Dreamplanet
Saturday September 8th - MD8: Dreamplanet 1-4 Mriin
Sunday September 9th - MD9: Sultanate of Oontaz vs Dreamplanet
Tuesday September 11th - MD10: Jeruselem vs Dreamplanet
Wednesday September 12th - MD11: Dreamplanet vs Lycrabon
Thursday September 13th - MD12: Abanhfleft vs Dreamplanet
Friday September 14th - MD13: Crystalline Caverns vs Dreamplanet
Saturday September 15th - MD14: Dreamplanet vs Mariebat
Sunday September 16th - MD15: Neo-Romanum vs Dreamplanet
Monday September 17th - MD16: Dreamplanet vs Darkmania
Tuesday September 18th - MD17: Mriin vs Dreamplanet
Wednesday September 19th - MD18: Dreamplanet vs Sultanate of Oontaz


Group 11                        Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Mriin 8 6 1 1 28 13 +15 19
2 Abanhfleft 8 6 0 2 16 8 +8 18
3 Jeruselem 8 5 1 2 15 10 +5 16
4 Dreamplanet 8 4 1 3 19 16 +3 13
5 Darkmania 8 4 1 3 17 15 +2 13
6 Crystalline Caverns 8 3 2 3 7 6 +1 11
7 Sultanate of Oontaz 8 3 1 4 6 13 −7 10
8 Mareibat 8 3 0 5 11 14 −3 9
9 Neo-Romanum 8 1 2 5 8 20 −12 5
10 Lycrabon 8 0 1 7 4 16 −12 1

Qualified for World Cup
Qualified for Playoffs
Last edited by Dreamplanet on Fri Sep 14, 2018 4:52 am, edited 2 times in total.
Dreamplanet
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Dreamplanet: We're 14 years behind!

Campionato Esportiva 24 Runners-Up
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Savojarna
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1452
Founded: Nov 11, 2016
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Savojarna » Sun Sep 09, 2018 2:08 pm

SavojarSports.sj - inside reports from all Savojarna
Savojarna's Top Three


As Savojarna stay in third place of a tightly contested WCQ group, having a shot at taking the second place in the next match against South Toronto, people throughout the country are finally getting back in the football euphoria that we enjoyed so much in the past. While an away draw against Chromatika, the top team of the group that so far had not lost a single point, would certainly have been enough to do so, the euphoria got even bigger thanks to the dramatic yet beautiful fashion in which the Northlights had taken that point from Chromatika. The decisive goal had been scored only minutes before the whistle after Chromatika had been ahead for most of the game, following a goal in the starting phase of the match when Savojarna could not clear a corner sufficiently and an opposing striker shot it into the net from a short distance. It only added to the enthusiasm that the goal, scored by substitute Morten Poulsen, was one of the most beautiful goals scored by Savojarna in the recent past. To celebrate this occasion, we bring you our top three of Savojar goals in history.

5: Artyom Revalov, CASK Thorsborg vs. Admiral Storevik, Savojar Futbal Ligaen 1943/44, 3-1 (final result: 5-2)
The oldest goal in this list is one of the most unlikely, as Revalov was far from being known for technique or anything resembling a beautiful game. While loved by CASK Thorsborg, the army club that always took hard work and fighting over skill and intelligence in a way that many critical voices would say was typical of the early Savojar army, the opponent's fans tended to hate Revalov for his ruthless play and often rather lucky-seeming goals. The exception came in this game in early autumn 1943, when the striker scored his best known and most beautiful goal. Following a free kick from the left side, Revalov tried to divehead it into the goal, but saw the cross deflected by a defender just before he got to it. Reacting in the blink of an eye, he raised up his left foot, getting the heel to the ball and kicking it past a stunned goalkeeper who never expected such a shot. Revalov later said it was an instinctive reaction to somehow touch the ball - and it surely paid off.

4: Freya Sigurdsdottir, Savojarna vs. Eshan, WCQ 80 Playoffs, 2-1 (2-4)
Beautiful not only because of the goal itself, but also because of what it meant - the first step in Savojarna's first ever World Cup qualification - this is a goal that many Savojar fans will remember fondly forever. Sigurdsdottir, a tall striker mostly known for her headers, showed a particular quality here. Following a pass from the side by Jarkasjärvi, she could take the ball with her chest, turn around past an Eshani defender and curl the ball wonderfully between two centre-backs next to the post and in the top left corner. The goal kickstarted the Savojar comeback to overturn the Eshani lead to a 2-4 away victory, and confirm qualification with a 2-2 in Sjoedrhavn.

3: Morten Poulsen, Chromatika vs. Savojarna, WCQ 81, 1-1 (1-1)
If you haven't seen it yet, go look at it. A beautiful shot coming from a beautiful pass, and with an even nicer meaning - Savojarna drawing Chromatika to keep the tie with South Toronto and having the second place in the group at their hands. It started out on the middle line, when Jashkin took the ball and passed his first opponent, passing it across the entire field to Krister Voynov on the left wing. The young star of the team dribbled past the fullback with a beautiful turn and chipped it back to the penalty point, where a fast approaching Morten Poulsen shot towards a seemingly slightly high pass. However, for Poulsen this is not a problem: The young playmaker jumped up into the air and blasted a wonderful jumping volley right against the bottom right post and from there into the goal.
MT socialist (mostly) island state - Cultural mixture of Scandinavia, Finland and Russia -Exports iron, steel, silver and wood - Low fantasy in terms of animal species - Sports-loving - 22.8 million inhabitants.

The adjective is Savojar; Savojarnan is not a word!
I am a student of (European) politics, ice hockey fan, left-wing communist bordering on anarchy, and European federalist. Enjoy!

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San Regada
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1658
Founded: Dec 23, 2016
Ex-Nation

Postby San Regada » Sun Sep 09, 2018 2:47 pm

Riots in San Antonio after 5-2 loss to Barunia


SAN ANTONIO. Taking many by shock, all across the city, riots broke out as the in the city as the Regadan national team suffered yet another devastating and humiliating defeat, this time at the hands of Barunia. The defeat is only second to the crushing 6-2 defeat suffered by the Super Eagles against Drawkland, and with the 4-1 defeat against Natanians and Nosts still fresh in the minds of many, it appears that fustration at what appears to be yet another failure for San Regada to qualify for the World Cup, has boiled over. It is believed that tens of thousands of rioters virtually sacked the capital last night, breaking into and looting shops, burning down buildings and torching cars, blockading roads, hospitals, government buildings, and more. The National Assembly building and Capital Police headquarters had a large number of molotov cocktails and grenades thrown at it. The National Guard and Gendarmie Special Operations command deployed hundreds of tanks, armoured vehicles, helicopter gunships, and thousands of troops after being assigned temporary control over law enforcement in the city in a desperate attempt to restore order. And now, whilst the citizens of San Antonio pick up the pieces, the nation has started to ask itself why do we never qualify for the World Cup?

On the streets of San Antonio, under the looming eyes of the military and gendarmes, the citizens seem to have different opinions on the matter. "The whole f*cking system is rigged!" Angrily shrieks one man. "Every time we take part in this bullsh*t we get put into the hardest groups because there is a conspiracy againat us! No one wants us to do well! It is a corrupt lie, all of it! No one has had a more miserable history of qualifying attempts than us! It is humiliating and a disgrace to our nation!" Many gather around the man, named as Javier and begin to nod and shout in agreement as he continues his fiery tirade. "They do this deliberately! Every time it looks lime we are doing good and might have a chance but because of the rigged draw we get shot down and crushed!" Not everyone agrees with the grand conspiracy however. "I cannot deny that the World Cup qualifying is terribly flawed." Begins a woman named Maria. "They should put higher ranked teams in groups of similar capability to give the lesser ranked teams a chance of actually qualifying and progressing in rank. The problem is elitism here, it may not be intentional but we have a serious problem with it." A more rational argument.

But, perhaps for a solution to this qualifying crisis we should look to issues within our own team? We as Regadans have a serious issue and its that when we feel as if our national honour has been disgraced, we move quickly to blame others. Marias argument is a perfectly legitimate one and is part of the reason for our unfairly dismal track record, but changes need to be made within the Regadan national team too. If we know we constantly end up in challenging groups with higher ranked sides, why do we continue to play so offensively in terms of tactics, players, and our formation? Against higher ranked teams, defense can be the best offense. It is painful to switch formations and play style depending on the nation you are up against but it is clear that an universal approach to the qualifiers does not work, and so long as we keep it up, we are really doomed to fail. So, with little, if not any hope of qualifying yet... here's to next time.
Last edited by San Regada on Sun Sep 09, 2018 4:35 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Kita-Hinode
Diplomat
 
Posts: 891
Founded: May 03, 2017
Civil Rights Lovefest

A new way to play football!

Postby Kita-Hinode » Sun Sep 09, 2018 4:09 pm

Image
Let the sun burn my eyes / Let it burn my back
At the beach / In my dreams / But you still
Champion: WC 75 and 76, CoH 74, U-15 WC 4 and 6, DBC 29 and 41, CE 21 and 24
hinodezenbaitai.co.hi/sports

The IC follow-up to Northern Sunrise Islands / Demonym: Hinodejin (singular, plural)

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South Toronto
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 179
Founded: Aug 20, 2017
Ex-Nation

Postby South Toronto » Sun Sep 09, 2018 4:30 pm

Chapter 4: Don't Open The Door


Chapter 3

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

"And next on Skies L1 Network, former South Toronto national team player and alleged murderer Trevon Eliezer has escaped out of his low-security prison cell in Lavender, Vareick. Eliezer and Kevin Yahaya were arrested after they opened fire in an office in the STFA Main Building, killing 22 people. Kevin Yahaya was already convicted, as he was sentenced to 138 years in prison, and will be eligible for parole in the year 2184, in which he will be thankfully long gone. Trevon Eliezer is facing the death penalty if convicted for the atrocities he has done while playing professionally for the Phoenixes. He has been charged with three counts of kidnapping, two counts of assault, seventeen counts of first-degree murder, seven counts of attempted murder, and one count of statutory rape. SSATPO units are beginning a country-wide search for Trevon, and anybody with any whereabouts of Trevon's location will receive 835,000 raicyans, or NS $1,429,269.5. Next on Skies L1 Network, how many years will it take for South Toronto to reach the World Cup Finals? Well according to scientists at the University of Benedict, Merto, this year we will finally reach the group stages, " said the news reporter before Decepti Vardez switched off the TV.

"Man, what the fuck is up with Trevon? He thinks he can shoot any place up, well it's good that they caught el pendejo. But I have a, erm, how do you say it in English?" asked Decepti.

"You mean feeling? And yeah I have that too. There's no way he could have got out-" said Ligti before he was briefly interrupted by a raucous sound coming from outside his house. It carried on for a couple of seconds, then it stopped. A voice shouted: "All right, we get the two in this address then we take them to la sede. ¿Entendido? asked the voice. Heavy footsteps were heard, and they seemed to be getting closer and closer to Decepti and Ligti.

"¿Quién podrá ser ahora? ¿Por qué ahora de todas las veces?" said Decepti in Spanish as he groaned. He got up out of his chair and tiptoed towards the door. Silent, he slowly put his eye into the peephole to see who it was, and it was a group of heavily armoured men, with big guns that neither of the two teenagers could tell which kind they were.

"It's probably delivery or something, right?" asked Ligti.

"No hermano, es imposible. Sorry I keep speaking so much Spanish, I have been living con, I mean, with my sister while my mansion is getting built. Anyways, they have huge guns. And they look automatic, I don't know if we can outrun them. Wait, what if they are secret agents that have come here to arrest us. Ligti, what did you do?" asked Decepti as he panicked.

"Nada, I mean nothing. Fuck, your Spanish is spreading to me. And I know it's some federal agents coming for us for whatever reason, but comply okay?" replied Ligti.

There were two loud knocks on the door, and their fear of the group of men being agents was confirmed by the words: "TASR team! Open up!". A battering ram burst open the door, and Ligti and Decepti were already on their knees with their hand behind their backs. The TASR ranger handcuffed the pair, and they were escorted out of the house and into the tank-like van. While the other rangers were searching the house, Decepti saw Bryan and Jamal.

"Eh, what are you doing here, goody two shoes?" asked Decepti.

"Ditto. TASR caught us. They'll explain once they got what they need," answered Jamal.

"But what about my sister's house. Are they wrecking it, because she's going to be muy furioso if they are," said Decepti.

"Shut up, no talking or no football, better pick one now," said the ranger. The whole van fell silent, and once the search was completed, Bryan, Jamal, Decepti and Ligti were escorted into Decepti's sister's home. They were seated down on the coach, and the rangers blocked all access to any exits.

"Do not talk until I tell you to. If you do we will use it against you in the court of TASM. We are the TASR rangers, or the Time And Space Rangers. We are fully aware of Bryan's ability to time travel, and both of you have the item needed for this to happen. This," said the ranger as he pulled out a can of beans.

"I know, weird right? But these are special beans, and once you are done with the match against Savojarna, I will tell you more info. You are second in the group, and you can qualify if you keep your run of form up. I won't say any more. If you even utter a word about this meeting to any living creature, we will have no choice but to exterminate you and any records of your existence. You can not even speak amongst yourselves about this, and just for a heads up, all of you are starting. Good luck, no talking about this, and the Time And Space Rangers will do the absolute most to ensure that the rules of time and space are not broken by time travelling newbies. And yes that is our motto. Ane we will leave now. Those vans were just an illusion, the battering ram, however, not so much," said the ranger. He signalled for the other rangers to tap the wrists, and they shouted: "Time Warp- Back to La Sede," before they all warped out of the living room.

"Let's just forget about and go to Aredia, I usually leave this time to get there anyway, and it will take a good 45 minutes to an hour if we are quick. Vamos el estadio ahora, por favor," said Decepti.

"Nigga English would be nice, I don't know any Spanish thank you," said Bryan as he gestured for everybody to follow him out the door.

In the city of Lavender, Vareick


"Hello young sir, how may I help you?" asked the old lady.

"Let me in. Now," asserted Trevon.

The old lady could only manage to say: "Okay, you may come-" before she was shot in the face by an impatient Trevon. He pulled the dead body into the house, and he looked around downstairs for a phone. He finally found one, and he started to dial a number. He called the number and said: "I'm free, come and get me," demanded Trevon.

"Sure, but we are coming back for matchday 9, right?" asked the man on the phone.

"Yeah, we are coming back with a [b]BANG![/b] No pun intended...
2nd place finish in BoF 66. There's more to come! Hopefully..
Your young don from Southwest London and I bang out 410, AM Skengdo, 1011 and a host of UK drill artists. You probably thought I was Canadian 'cause of my nation's name and flag, but I am actually Ugandan and I live in London.
Hosted the inaugural STIC, and a domestic newswire up and running. They will be a few more soon...
And remember guys, Toronton is Singular, South Toronton is an Adjective, and Torontons is Plural! Also, the USST is an abbreviation of Unified Socialist States of South Toronto, and apart from marijuana and abortion being legal, and our environmental policies, in no way does this nation reflect my RL views.

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Oberour Ar Moro
Diplomat
 
Posts: 547
Founded: Sep 11, 2009
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Oberour Ar Moro » Sun Sep 09, 2018 4:44 pm

"Dans les prisons de Serica
Y'avait un prisonnier."


Speaking of prisoners, Salaün felt a little like one. Trapped, unable to escape, kept from knowing about the outside world. His hands were gripped on the rough wooden bench. What will happen next?

A hand rested on his, breaking him from his self-indulgent reverie. He turned to his left, to see a lightly-blushing girl shyly turn away.

Okay, this is not prison in any sense of the word.

"Personne ne vint l'voir
Que la fille du geôlier."


In fact, apart from one in reality small, niggling thing, today was great. Salaün had finally had a chance to talk to Hermine, the gorgeous young woman in his geometry class. After he got her number she asked her if she wanted to join him at the Folk Music Festival, being held this year in Saida. She said she was free Saturday afternoon, and could meet him at 1, and he agreed without a thought.

Immediately after he turned away from her dark hair and dark eyes and soft smile he had remembered Oberour Ar Moro versus Tobiasia.

"Un jour il lui demande
Oui que dit-on de moi?"


So there was Salaün, on the grounds of Saida Park, a place where he had seen a lot of football. The weather was clear and warm, the band Martolod Sant was performing a really good rendition of "Dans les Prisons de Serica", sitting with a really cute girl in a nice dress and a ponytail.

And his thoughts kept turning to the Oberour Ar Moro national team.

"On dit de vous en ville
Que vous serez pendu."


It's ridiculous, but he couldn't help it. He had not looked at his phone once, but it was burning a hole in his pocket. He had turned off the ringer, but he could feel it vibrate again and again, with text messages or worse, score updates.

buzz

Another one!

"Mais s'il faut qu'on me pende
Déliez-moi les pieds!"


Hermine leaned in to Salaün's ear, leaned against him. "I'm going to get a drink, do you need anything?"

"No, I'm good, thanks."

He watched as Salaun walked away and behind a group of people, before he practically ripped the phone out of his pocket.

Texts, missed call, updates!

Tobiasia, Fraser Philips 16'
Oberour Ar Moro, Phelippon de Gentilli 20'
Tobiasia, Rosa Uzele 33'
Oberour Ar Moro, Phelippon de Gentilli 45+2'
Halftime: Oberour Ar Moro 2-2 Tobiasia
Tobiasia, Fraser Philips 50'
Tobiasia, Lee Ryans 56'
Tobiasia, Lee Ryans 68'
Tobiasia, Matthew Card 82'
Final Score: Oberour Ar Moro 2-6 Tobiasia

As Hermine walked back, she could see Salaün looked glum and hunched over on the bench. What's wrong? She thought he was having a good time. Maybe this wasn't going as well as she thought.

"Dans les prisons de Serica
Y'avait un prisonnier."
_The Dominion of_Oberour Ar Moro_

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Euran Oceania Territories
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 106
Founded: Nov 09, 2015
Ex-Nation

Postby Euran Oceania Territories » Sun Sep 09, 2018 5:23 pm

In the centre of Atlantian Oceania is a little country called the Euran Oceania Territories, a dominion of the much larger Rushmori nation. It hadn't exactly made much of a mark in the region - most regarded it as a neo-colonial oddity produced by the chaos of the Corvidae War and Euran opportunism. Yet it did have a reputation for football which is perhaps unsurprising given the sporting vintage of its mother nation. The individual in charge of football in the Territories was an elderly gent named Winton Monrose. He was the head of the Euran Oceania Football Federation, or EOFF for short, and sometimes modified to 'pissOFF' or 'writeOFF' by their critics. Originally set up as a Euran Ministry of Sport project to help generate a sense of national identity in the newly founded Euran Oceania Territories, it had become a self-sustaining football federation in its own right.

The EOFF-run EOTLeague was still an amateurish mess and the national football team mostly played their club football in Eura but they had made clear progress. So had the country. Not so long ago the Territories had been comprised of the ruins of Fligsive with a reduced population of Syndicatian and Whittorian refugees, a few remnant islands of Whittoria from the meteor strike that destroyed the country, and an unfathomably huge crater from the mysterious "Fligsive incident" towards the end of the Corvidae War. It had rapidly swelled its population (albeit in tragic circumstances due to mass migration of native Euran's from their war torn motherland), and was accepting peoples from other corners too. "EOT" had become a symbol of Euran and resilience and sheer ability to knock down the brick walls of what was deemed possible.

A population of a few million had become twenty million, although the housing situation in the Territories was pretty appalling. The dominion was able to secure its own borders with a domestically raised military and police force. It had its own dominion government much like the governments in Endemia and places like Helving. The economy was growing rapidly, blossoming off the back of a massive imported Euran labour force and an abundance of natural resources on land that had been spared consumption by the collapse of the Inevitable Syndicate a couple of decades ago, and all the deindustrialisation that entailed. There was even talk of territorial expansion! Sure, they still relied on the motherland for many things - and were saved by the Euran Navy from a Sameban invasion during the war - but the Territories, or the Expats as their nickname had come to be, were able to handle themselves enough that a new confidence had developed among its nascent citizenry. Monrose embodied that ambition. Born in Falourr, he had moved here in the early days and was responsible for hiring the legendary Apoxian Tolgus Tregajorran as the first manager of the national football team Euran Oceania Territories. Unfortunately, he was also responsible for replacing him.

Tregajorran had done a fine job just making this team competitive but something hadn't sat right recently. It struggled heroically on the big stage but that's just it. Struggled. Monrose wanted to build a team that could win games and pose a threat. The Apoxian was clearly agitating to return home. Discussions had been had behind the scenes and, on good terms with many fond memories in the bank, separation was agreed. Tregajorran returned home to manage Exton FC and replaced him with...

Nobody. Not at first.

Monrose and the executive committee abruptly realised that they had zero money to pay for a manager anywhere near the level or experience of Tregajorran - and he wasn't exactly the king of managers to start with! Lofty talk of bringing in a big name Euran manager with a hard on for their national sense of duty had fallen completely flat in the face of the realities presented by their budget. Funding had been prioritised for the refurbishment of the massive Flynn Arena in Fligsive and the subsidy of growing new clubs within the Territories, something that the Euran central government funding simply could not cover alone. Tregajorran had practically been working pro bono to boot, another strange product of earlier circumstances that could not be repeated easily. The Territories were in danger of competing in the qualifiers with no manager. Eventually EOFF panicked and begged a former Mertagne international and Gold League winner with Bastion, Rhys West, to take over on a temporary basis. The 37 year old former left back gladly took the job as a low pressure entry role into management just two years after retiring as a player.

West did a good job for much of World Cup 81 qualifying. The Territories actually looked pretty good with a firm defensive line and forwards that took their chances when they came. The on-paper quality of some of their players was finally showing - two Revolutionaries defenders played in the defence after all and they weren't even the best players. Victories over the Busoga Islands and Bongo Johnson, as well as draws against the amusingly named Cheergirls and Greater Libertania had only been overshadowed by defeats against Cosneolta, West Angola and Eshan, but these results were to be expected and these teams held positions 2-4 in the group. The crowning glory so far had been a home victory over the returning Ancharmunn, once a big force in the world game. Sadly however it was not to last. West was caught in a compromising position with a Euran Marine Corpsman, a prostitute and the Deputy Marshal of the Dominion Office. No-one would be hearing about Rhys West for some time.

Maybe it was because the stardom of Tregajorran and the fortune of stumbling across a hard working potential coach like West had spoiled Monrose, but his expectations were being dealt a severe reality check by his second recruitment drive of the year. The final game of qualifying beckoned. It wouldn’t have mattered if they were only going to play some no mark nation that was even smaller than they were but the opposition was former world champions Nephara. EOT had faced big teams before in the AOCAF and previous World Cup qualifying experience, including Eshan earlier in the cycle, but this felt like a different level. EOT might have had players who were regulars in the Euran Goldleague, but they still had an air of hearty amateurs about them when they turned out internationally, a patchwork squad of Euran expats who couldn’t get near the squads of Steve Thompson. Only a handful were actually born in the Territories but for a team like Nephara, who themselves had been something of a friendly nemesis to Thompson’s Eura teams, it would be easy to assume that they were all nobodies who could be crushed at will.

Somehow a new manager had to be found or a morale crushing defeat of epic proportions seemed inevitable. Monrose crushed the paper cup that formerly hosted his lukewarm tea with vein-popping fury. 'What do you mean, they said no?!' Another rejection from the committee’s shortlist. They all looked exhausted around the boarding room table overlooking the Flynn Arena. It was supposed to have been a day of interviews but not a single candidate had turned up, bar a Euran non-league manager who was instantly rejected for suggesting they play eight men at the back. Monrose was beset by grief. ‘How on earth can no-one want to manage our team? We have good players! A huge arse stadium! This is a project they could craft around their own image!’
‘Err, uhm, maybe if we just shifted the job advert around to offer a salar-‘
‘NO! No!’ He stood up from his desk so quickly he got headrush and was forced to lean against a wall briefly.

A concerned committee member sped to his aid. ‘Winton sit down for goodness sake, you’ll put yourself in hospital if you go on like this! It’s not the end of the world. We could give David Cooke a try, he knows the boys well.’
‘He’s never coached a team for a minute of professional football in his life!’
‘Neither did Rhys West.’
‘Rhys West didn’t eye up my daughter at the bloody Qualifiers party.’ The committee tried to suppress a giggle and failed. Everyone had been deeply amused by Monrose suggesting the now retired goalkeeper Cooke be deducted any bonuses from the previous campaign, after he was found hanging out the back of the EOFF chief’s rebellious second born. He deeply regretted introducing a 21 year old and very impressionable barely-a-woman to rich and famous footballers.

He cast these thoughts aside for the moment and looked out of the window at the Arena. ‘Look at this place, the former footballing cathedral of the Inevitable Syndicate. The site of a great moment of Euran glory! What we need is somebody who can realise a vision that will make this place great again.’
‘Make it great again? That’s handy boss, I know this lad in the domestic game who hates immigration AND minorities!’
‘What…I…what the fuck are you on about? We’re all immigrants. This is literally a country of immigrants. Are you fucking dense boy?’ The least well liked member of the committee promptly shut up. ‘No, we need somebody who will shake things up in a positive way. Somebody that is going to make the first generation of Territories-born Euran Oceanians look up and think “wow, I want to be like them one day”. Bold, or as bold as we let them be. A wildcard. Maybe an ex-player? Maybe…’ The idea crystalised in his head as memories of that iconic World Cup 66 final came flowing back. His powerful style of play. Pure aggression. Gorgeous head of hair. Would he care about money? The man was loaded – would he fuck. ‘I’ve had a wonderful plan.’

‘Someone look up the international dialling code for the Askari Union.’

----------


49 year old Skorji Oslograd passed the Territories equivalent of the rubicon – that giant Fligsive Crater – like it was nothing but a pothole. He rode in on a pale horse named Autumn. Yes, you read that correctly. Joining him on his noble steed was his assistant manager and rumoured lover, the 34 year old Askari Rhea Fianchetto. She didn’t seem particularly loving at the moment though. ‘Skorjiiiiiiii! I can’t feel my legs!’
‘MAYBE THAT’S BECAUSE YOUR ARMS ARE ABOUT TO FALL OFF!’
‘Or it’s because you’re going too fast you daft twat! Are you sure Garrett is ok?’
‘OF COURSE, THIS IS A CHARACTER BUILDING EXPERIENCE!’ Garrett Ramsey was Askari Union’s star striker (read: subject of Oslograd’s weird projected nepotism), Euran born and now conveniently being fast tracked for citizenship in the notoriously immigration friendly Territories. Ramsey had been “accidentally” knocked unconscious by Oslograd at the airport once he realised where he was and strapped to the side of the stallion like cargo. The newly built Fligsive Bypass motorway had ground to a halt as Oslograd and his travelling companions dipped and dodged between the traffic.

Epic music seemed to be following them around like a wildfire but that was probably just down to Oslograd’s boombox running on a battery pack off Autumn’s back. After a great deal of time had passed they arrived at the Flynn Arena to be greeted by a welcome party led by this odd Monroe fellow. Most of them had been expecting Oslograd to turn up in something extraordinary. A supercar was what they had in mind, not a big arse horse. Autumn dramatically threw up dust as she came to a stop. Oslograd dismounted, helping Rhea off and flicking off the boombox. ‘Skorji.’
‘What? Oh, right.’ He held a special bath salts mixture to Garrett Ramsey’s nose and he burst into life, squealing as he wriggled free from his restraints and fell to the floor. Oslograd whispered some delicate words into Autumn’s ear and she dashed off magnificently. Monroe, understandably perplexed by what he had just witnessed, offered a firm hand. ‘Mr Oslograd, I’ve been expecting you.’ Oslograd grabbed it hard and practically crushed the old man’s bone structure in doing so. ‘MONROE! You’re the one who sent me the letter.’
‘Owww, ffffuuuck, yes!’
‘First rule of my philosophy Monroe…nothing I do is ever expected.’

----------


Oslograd had been given barely two weeks with the squad before the Nephara game despite them having departed for the international break early. To say they reacted to him in a variety of different ways would be an understatement of just how divided they were by the new appointment. Bastion youngster Kasey Fuller was awestruck by a man who could only be described as his ultimate footballing hero, while club teammate Willem Ajax was pleased to see a familiar face. It seemed hard to believe but the two had played together towards the beginning of Ajax’s career and the end of Oslograd’s. The other youngsters were similarly impressed. So were the handful of EOTLeague players who were practically stealing a living in international football compared to their more professional colleagues.

Most of the seasoned Euraleague players were a bit more sceptical but understood that Oslograd was a legend who had turned around a previously pathetic Askari Union side. It helped that Oslograd took the unanticipated step of showing some respect for the existing system in the Expats dressing room, keeping the same captain and formation for now. Two exceptions to the rule did not welcome the new gaffer as he insisted on being referred to. The formerly Sunrisian left back Jesus Moreno had not time for a man he referred to as an “egotistical maniac” and had been a nuisance from the start. Oslograd sent him home four days before the game. To replace him he called up Marvin Walsh, an 18 year old right back for Holdenberg City (on loan at Suttonville for Euraleague Season 37), intending to use him as a left back if needed.

The other problem was Ulysses Zimmer who had become isolated under Rhys West. The former Arrowsmith and now Hornchurch striker demanded a starting spot over the clearly superior Pierre-Louis Le Tonnelier and Tom Duffy. He was promptly sent home and told he would not play for EOT again. That opened up a handy space for one Garrett Ramsey to join the squad. On the eve of the Nephara game it was already clear that Oslograd had come here to shake things up and would likely shape the system in his own image once this game was out of the way. However there hadn’t been much time to build up chemistry beyond initial impressions. To make matters worse the previously positive players were already quite intimidated by the borderline psychotic twists and turns of Oslograd’s mood.

In the dressing room before the game he was conspicuously absent until a few minutes before the players were due to go out. Just as captain Alex Charlton looked set to give the team talk himself in Oslograd’s absence, the manager and his assistant strode in purposefully. ‘Alex! Thank you for warming the boys up. You can be seated.’ Charlton gave in with a sigh and shrug. He hadn’t had time to get used to Oslograd’s tactics but his antics? You only needed a small amount of exposure to become desensitised to them. ‘Gentlemen. How are we all feeling today?’ Oslograd was greeted by a murmur. He predictably exploded. ‘WHAT?! You’re professional footballers, not mice. SOUND OFF LIKE YOU’VE GOT A PAIR!’
‘Sir yes sir!’ They’d all been watching various Euran war movies for much of the past fortnight. So. Many. ‘You see before you pre-game analysis of the Nephara international football team. What do you notice about them?’

The team gazed on quizzically as he pointed aggressively at what he liked to call the “Big Board” of the dressing room, or in his terminology “the war room”. Samuel Freeman piped up first as a senior member of the squad. ‘They’re a top team. Strong in every area. Incredibly physical but also technically adept. A number of Euraleague players. Timwise should know, Strongbow ripped him a new one in both Directus-Revolutionaries games this season.’ The others laughed as Timwise Gerduns sulked in the corner. It was bad enough having the only name at Revolutionaries that wasn’t cool. Now he was being taken apart on international duty! Oslograd shook his head vigorously at Freeman’s answer. ‘Anyone else?’
‘They’re an incredibly effective defensive unit?’
‘No!’
‘Hawke has more international goals than our entire team combined?’
‘No!’
‘Michael Brandon mugged you off right proper in Euraleague in the Directus-Bastion showdowns?’
‘ABSOLUTELY NOT YOU WRETCHED URCHIN!’ For that insult left midfielder Edward Pollard had a boot hurled at him from across the room.

His punishment didn’t end there. ‘You’re dropped!’
‘What? But I’m already on the teamsheet.’
‘By the power vested in me I say nay! Kasey, get ready. You are starting today.’ The 18 year old Bastion winger’s eyes widened like those of a toddler being introduced to a new puppy. What an occasion to make your first international start. ‘I swear to fucking Prime Minister Yarley, if anyone else harps on about…urgh, oooh, Michael Brandon is such a classy player! I want to shovel his loads into every part of me! Oooooooh!…I’ll…fucking Pollard. Hnngh.’
‘You alright boss?’ asked Ajax. ‘Yes, old friend. I simply find myself infuriated by the small team mentality here. None of you should be alarmed by my reactions. I’m the greatest footballing icon in this stadium! I thrive on ambition and success, and resent failure! Any one of you who cannot tolerate that attitude is, themselves, a failure!’
‘Does that make me the specialist in failure?’ snarked the bitter Pollard. Another boot went flying. ‘What did I tell you about thinking Pollard! This is where it gets you – on the bench holding your willy to keep warm. And no-one has answered my bloody question. Anyone?’ No-one was feeling brave today.

Except for Fuller, the youngster who dared to dream. ‘They’re mortals boss!’
‘…they’re what?’
‘Mortals.’ The team looked around stunned. ‘I mean yeah, ok, they play for really big teams. And they’re really good. And they can kick the shit out of you when they feel like it ‘cos they’re really mean, most of their team are girls and I thought girls were supposed to be nice but I think that Rowland one is-the-meanest-girls-I’ve-ever-seen-evenmeanerthanmynan!’ Momentarily it appeared that Oslograd might withdraw the golden opportunity he had handed out to this Bastion prodigy as he interrupted his stream of consciousness babble. Instead he rushed towards him and held him tight. ‘That is exactly it. I mean, the gender politics are a bit outdated my boy, we live in a modern world, but I like the passion and general sentiment. Ten points to your house. If you're still in school. Who remembers anyway.’ He returned to the board and picked off the picture of Rowena Strongbow. ‘Ask yourselves all this. Who the fuck is Rowena Strongbow? Timwise!’ The right back looked up nervously. ‘Yes boss?’
‘Did you feel like a winner when she took you apart in the league?’
‘I’m not sure that’s fair gaffer, I got a tackle in or two.’
‘No you didn’t. What she did was the footballing equivalent of taking you out to dinner and abandoning you to a sweaty Audioslavian. She made you look like a fucking bellend. But that was yesterday wasn’t it Timwise?’

Oslograd’s nerves were trembling as he squatted on his knees, face in hands, cackling manically. ‘Don’t you see my children? Who you are, who they are, it’s all reputation. Fantasy. That reputation might be built upon experience, but those experiences are from yesterday. You are the players of today if you want to be. Do you know what you’re going to do tonight Timwise? You’re going to put a boot through Strongbow at the first opportunity. She’ll be expecting you to be nervous and stand off, so I want you to clatter that Directus fucker at the first opportunity! SAMUEL!’ Freeman jumped in his seat a bit at the screaming of his name. ‘Who the fuck is Rusalka Klein?’
‘An internationally respected midfield dynamo?’
‘Codswallop! Klein is just another central midfielder. You’re all the bloody same on some level. Pass sideways too much, never know when to let Skorji put his boot through it. To beat Klein you must become Klein. Envisage that. Use it and triumph! Use yesterday, but win today! Pierre-Louis, are you sober yet?’ The enigmatic striker was becoming a bit of a cult hero in Euraleague but had yet to secure that status for his newly adopted national team (he was Gadiryan by birth). He was also routinely drunker than a skunk.

Nevertheless, Le Tonnelier was able to get to his feet in appreciation of this rousing ovation. ‘Yeah, why not?’
‘Good! Bruyne, Konovai. Who the fuck are they?’
‘Prissy wankers, gaffer.’
‘YES! And you might be as slow as a snail on crutches but good lord lad you can properly pump it from range. Don’t let them or whichever backup wankers Nephara put out stop you from scoring bangers for fun because I know for a fact you’ve got it in you. The point is my children…’ That was his latest thing – referring to them as children. Few yet had moved past him asking them to call him “Papa Bear” on their team building hiking exercise in the Crater. ‘…you can accomplish anything today. Just because you didn’t achieve it yesterday, doesn’t mean you can’t today. Yesterday they were the world class players, and you were the useless also-rans. Today they could be a quivering mess of gormless mincing miners and farmers who got too big for their swamp, and you could be the latest generation of glorious Euran bred heroes, so glorious that you will be even better than the motherland's team!'
'But gaffer, they fought a war like, yesterday, on our side.'
'The only war you should care about now is the one on the football pitch. And these arrogant Nepharim bastards? They’re just Polarian’s in disguise. Friendly comrades in arms off the pitch, preening fucknuggets on it. And do you know what Polarian’s are above all else? And I say this as a half-Polarian. They are bottlers.’ The team cried out in unison in reply; ‘Bottlers!’
‘Exactly. Bottlers who aren’t as good as me! Does anyone doubt my advice?’
‘A bit boss, I mean this lot are actually pretty good.’ Danny Lawrence was not being helpful. ‘How many World Cups have you won Danny?’ The centreback sighed in resignation having been swiftly reminded why he too was on the bench. ‘That’s what I thought! And what are we?’

Without hesitation the entire team, finally becoming one with the spirit of Skorjiball on a philosophical and possibly even sexual level, roared as one; ‘BALLLOOOOOOOONS!’
‘Balloons! Now, you all know what to do. Rise. Rise like balloons. Today we ride…riiiide out!’
‘RIIIIDE OUT!’
‘RIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE! DEEAAAAAAAAATH!’ Oslograd and the team stormed out of the dressing room. At some point his shirt came off leaving him with only suspiciously asymmetrical but alluring bodyhair protruding from under his suit jacket – once again, it’s important to emphasise that raw sexual energy is a key part of the pressing game of any Oslograd side. The Nephara team were waiting patiently in the tunnel. Brandon reached out to shake Oslograd’s hand. ‘Good to see you again Skorji, let’s hope it’s a good one today. Best of luck with the new role.’
‘Oh, Michael Brandon. Duplicitous, Directus scum Michael Brandon. I know a venomous snake when I see one. A slithery slimy snake. But you are nothing but a lowly adder. I am a magnificent cobra!’
‘…’
‘A fucking cobra!’
‘Alright mate, enjoy the game.’
‘I have fangs!’ The booming crescendo of noise created by the fans outside escalated noticeably as the players walked out. Shouting ‘ride out’ for at least another two or three minutes, Oslograd led out his new and glorious band of brothers to fight overwhelming odds for the first time.

User avatar
Indusse
Diplomat
 
Posts: 925
Founded: Nov 21, 2016
Father Knows Best State

Postby Indusse » Sun Sep 09, 2018 6:01 pm

INDUSSE WINS


    Group 6 Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
    1 Farfadillis 8 8 0 0 26 5 +21 24
    2 Super-Llamaland 8 6 1 1 27 12 +15 19
    3 Indusse 8 5 1 2 23 16 +7 16
    4 Semarland 8 5 0 3 20 10 +10 15
    5 Santa Rafa 8 4 1 3 13 10 +3 13
    6 Aggrey-Fynn Land 8 3 1 4 17 13 +4 10
    7 Kelssek 8 2 2 4 9 19 −10 8
    8 Tobria 8 2 0 6 16 27 −11 6
    9 Tarper 8 1 0 7 1 17 −16 3
    10 Ceskaar 8 1 0 7 3 26 −23 3

Indusse secures its happiness back. Indusse yesterday defeated a team 5-0. The match was one of the best in this worldcup. The first goal was scored by bechun in the 16th minute. The secsecond goal was scored by beckam. It was an olympic goal it was scored straight from the corner. The The 3rd goal by baskar was achieved by a long pass of Ahmad Ali. Baskar just kept his head its a goal.Next goal by aaryan was a freekick goal. The last one by baskar A penalty goal.
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Issue Author: #1428
IAC 13 Champions

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