World Cup 81: Roleplay Thread

[Ko-oren]

And the qualification rolls on with little regard for what's going on around it. Our closest allies, geographically speaking, are involved in a diplomatic mess. The Royal Kingdom of Quebec might have been slightly off our radar for a while, but they are most certainly in our minds again with the South Covello incidents. Our Foreign office is doing a lot in making sure that South Covello will not target Ko-oren next - apart from their football team touching down on Ko-orenite soil for the qualification match. Somehow, from geography, to diplomacy, everything comes back around to the World Cup.

And speaking of that World Cup, we're off to a great start. Arguably we haven't played the most high profile opponents, but neither have Flardania and South Covello, and we're keeping up with them. Our latest opponent was the Alenburg national soccer team, the Redhawks. Language wasn't an issue around our English and Dutch-influenced hosts, and it was an all-around friendly environment during the entire stay. That said, the Redhawks, around since the most recent Baptism of Fire, did not want to go down without a fight. Quite literally, Alenburg picked up seven yellows, ranging from a professional foul on the midway line, preventing a counterattack, all the way to pushing and shoving when the game didn't go their way. The Dragonflies' playing style is an exercise in self-control if you don't expect the defensive fortress being set up starting in the first minute. All criticism of our head coach aside, it does seem that the back five are working together a little better every week, and the youngsters did an excellent job to remain level-headed while the Redhawks dismantled themselves.

After about half the squad was booked, Maximus Svendson was terrified to pick up a second yellow and left Duchemin unchallenged on a clever Philip Odell through pass. Not looking a gift horse in the mouth, Duchemin chipped David Vorster for the only goal of the match. The inexperienced Redhawks failed to break down the wall in front of Larut Theshendan in the remaining 20 minutes of the match. For the first time in years, Ko-oren looked like that defensive behemoth again, but very rough around the edges for the time being. There isn't much to say about Linderood and Van Schelven, though Varela didn't always manage to keep up with Alenburg's pacy forwards. Varela was taken off by Juliasterinthen around the hour mark, and he brought on Benjamin. What many will probably have missed was that both Benjamin and Lampshire were warming up on the sidelines. The fourth official even briefly had number 16 displayed, which is Lampshire's. Number 16 was elated to finally get a chance again - he didn't play even a minute during AOCAF - when Juliasterinthen jumped in and told the fourth official to change the sign to 15, Ethan Benjamin. Now Benjamin jumped up, happy to get the 30 minutes, and this is where cameras turned to the Ko-orenite bench. With some rumours about Lampshire's status on the team going around already, surely this is another blow to his self-esteem. With the Dragonflies' defence finally looking on the mend, these are some small cracks and fractures in the structure of the squad. To Juliasterinthen's credit, the midfield and attack have been stable since his reign started. However, the defence is what any Ko-orenite team is about, and losing that part of the squad has meant the end of coaching careers in the past.

The Dragonflies are now heading into a tougher group of matches: home versus Bostopia, away at Routcher and home versus Togonistan, before going into a stretch containing both Flardania and South Covello. That last stretch is the best indication of this team's strength. The upcoming three matches will be a test in stability. If this team truly is a calm and steady force again, we're talking about at least a win and two draws, or two wins and a draw. If this team really has the genes of those famous Dragonfly XIs of the past, we might even see three wins.

If you're wondering, those three wins would be by a single goal, obviously.

[Union of Socialist Alpine Republics]

The Alpine Union beat Sangti

Loende, Sangti - (NAP) Following a win against Thibaea and a draw against Raffiah, the Alpine Union travelled to the Royal Barangay of Sangti to play against them. Sangti attacked early at the 8th minute when Adriel Marilag Cui passed to Reuel Davian Pisalvo who dribbled with the ball and made a short pass to Elmerei Jomyr Pusing who kicks the ball right into the net and Sangti is leading 1-0. Nothing much happened in the 1st half and the Royal Barangay was leading 1-0 at the halftime.

The Alpine Union attacked at the 48th minute when Yannick Ksiezniakiewicz passed to Sarah Schroffenegger who passed again to Yannick Ksiezniakiewicz. Ksiezniakiewicz dribbled with the ball and made a header pass to Amelia Zalwowska who heads the ball into the net and the game is tied at 1-1!

The Bisons attacked again at the 81st minute when Przemyslaw Zawistowski passed to Sarah Schroffenegger who dribbled with the ball and passed to Amelia Zalwowska who shoots on the cross bar. Kevin O'Maoilsheachlainn takes the lose ball but shoots it wide right and it's a goal kick for Sangti.

4 minutes later, the Reprezentacja Alpejski attacked again when Przemyslaw Tkocz passed to Pawel Wawrzynkiewicz who dribbled with the ball and made a cross to Amelia Zalwowska who made a short pass to Zbigniew Zajaczkowski. Zajaczkowski shoots and he scores! The Alpine Union is leading 2-1 and this is the final score!

The Alpine Union beat Sangti 2-1 and is now alone in 2nd place with 7 points. Sargossa, who beat Altai Almas 8-2, is still first with 3 wins in 3 games while Main Nation Ministry, Siovanija and Teusland and Kita-Hinode are all tied in 3rd place with 6 points. The Alpine Union is now playing a significant match on matchday 4 as they will recieve Kita-Hinode at home at Inbox Stadium in Linlithgow. The 50 947 seats stadium is already sold out for months with Hinodejins buying 25% of the tickets.

BOXSCORE

8th minute: Elmerei Jomyr Pusing assisted by Reuel Davian Pisalvo
48th minute: Amelia Zalwowska assisted by Yannick Ksiezniakiewicz
85th minute: Zbigniew Zajaczkowski assisted by Amelia Zalwowska

YELLOW CARDS

Alpine Union: Pawel Wawrzynkiewicz
Sangti: Monica Jemilie Magadia, Anthon Stanley Aldaba


RED CARDS

Alpine Union: None
Sangti: None

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

The Tale of Prince Fluffles and the Frolicsome Forfeit

Well, the mysterious mundy memo warning the referees of World Cup 81 not to be 'taken in' by ordinary bunny charm and cuddly cuteness had certainly put the fluffy bunnies in a huff.

"I am in huff" said Prince Fluffles, huffily, and all the other fluffy bunnies agreed, looking about as stern as ever so adorable fluffy bunnies can be.

But Prince Fluffles wasn't the sort of bunny who was going to take this sort of thing lying down.

He put on his bunny thinking cap, started munching on purple carrots (because he always thought that purple carrots gave him extra brain power), and by Be'atrix, he was going to come up with an answer, even if it meant staying up all not and not getting tucked in to his cosy little burrow bed.

And by the next morning, he gathered the other fluffy bunnies around, and said "I know what we can do!"

"Oooooooooooh" said all the fluffy bunnies excitedly, because they had also been worried about the awful meanie World Cup Committee's terrible bias against the adorable bunnies.

"If we can't get 'em on the pitch, then we get 'em off the pitch!" And then he told the other bunnies about his exciting plan.

The very next day, all of the fluffy bunnies were on the pitch, ready for kick off for the match against Joshenia.

The crowd was excited, and was cheering for the fluffy bunnies to win.

The sun was gleaming off the domes of the Imperial Hippodrome, and everyone was ready for an ever-so-exciting match of football.

But, oh dear, where was Joshenia?

The bunnies waited and waited, while Prince Fluffles whistled an innocent and happy tune.

And after an hour of the bunnies waiting and waiting, the ever so nice and patient referee man gave the match as a 3-0 forfeit to the fluffy bunnies!

The bunnies hopped and skipped and jumped for joy, because winning by a forfeit gets you just as many points as a normal win, and does wonders for your goal difference, besides.

But what about Joshenia's team?

The next day they were found back at the Sir Plakett Arena in Paradiz, cowering in a corner, muttering about 'the darkness, the darkness', and refusing to talk about what had happened.

And Mr Tzimisces wagged his finger sternly at Prince Fluffles, and told him never to do that again.

But Prince Fluffles just continued to whistle an innocent, happy song, as if nothing untoward had happened to anyone.

Hippity hop, hippity hop, into the burrow.

[Blaneu]

The Blaneu Broadsheet

Blaneu Take 6 from 2

Over the long four day bank holiday weekend many people no doubt enjoyed some of the best weather we've had yet this year as spring swings into action, and this pathetic fallacy laid the back drop to a great weekend for the Blaneuan National Side. In two games against opponents of a similar pedigree to themselves, Blaneu established some dominance and took six important points from the two matchdays.

Snellbridge's side impressed particularly with the performances put in by newcomers and more peripheral players, who made up the number in a grueling schedule involving two fixtures in four days, and some lengthy travel in-between. Over the two fixtures a total of four players made debuts, all of them youth team alumni and all four of them managed to give a good account of themselves. Dyfed Elron was particularly impressive as a wing-back, filling in for a knackered Leslie Driscoll. Elron marked his debut with a stunning goal from a 30 yard free-kick against the Hungarian Nation, putting his side two goals ahead and sealing the result. Moreover, he looked better able to transition between attack and defense, meaning Driscoll may not be long for the first team. Of the other three, Sean MacDermot looked solid in central defense and Tudur Aled looked as good as Robert O'Brian in goal, despite letting in two.

Both performance also saw Blaneu win by fairly comfortable scorelines, the six-two away win against Hertisiana was of particular note. Following on from the note of debuts, the Isthmus Arena in the Town-On-The-Cape hosted its first international, and despite only having a capacity of 3,750 it packed in plenty of atmosphere as Blaneu dispatched the Hungarian Nation.

Other notable performers from the weekend included Paul MacDaffyd, bagging four goals in two games he looks an assured presence in front of goal, and what he lacks in passing ability he more than makes up for in shot accuracy and positioning. Ojo Navarro should also get an honorable mention, his hat-trick against Hertisiana shows that his club form really is carrying over, with two of the goals coming from distance he may not be playing domestically in Blaneu for very long.

Whilst these two games will undoubtedly give a mental boost to Blaneu's players, Blaneu is still yet to get a result against a top 100 side, hence it is far too early to extrapolate from these two fixtures. Up next comes North Prarie, ranked 79th in the World this is their second World Cup qualifying campaign, and they come off the back of a strong performance in the Independents' Cup. Being thus far unbeaten North Prarie will enter their home match with plenty of confidence, especially after they managed to dispatch a strong Mattijana side in their previous fixture. Snellbridge is likely to revert to his previous starting eleven, however if Blaneu fail to take a result from this crunch fixture a shake-up is to be expected.

Blaneu		4 - 2		The Hungarian Nation	
Blaneu

O'Brian
Jones
Vernon - (MacDermot - 70') 
Sketty
Driscoll - (Elron - 63')
Sparks █
Starkey
Fitzstephens - (Powell - 72')
Navarro 3' 
Davis 
MacDaffyd 22', 50' 

Subs

Aled
MacDermot - (Vernon - 70')
Gwent
Elron - (Driscoll - 63') 79' 
Powell - (Fitzstephens 72')

Hertisiana		2 - 6		Blaneu	
Blaneu

Aled
Jones
MacDermot 
Hollands
Elron
Sparks 
Gwent
Fitzstephens
Navarro 13', 70', 75'   
Powell - (Apnest - 45')
MacDaffyd 11', 39'  - (Hartson - 71')

Subs

O'Brian
Vernon  
Starkey
Apnest - (Powell - 45')
Hartson - (MacDaffyd - 71') 89' 

[The South Falls]

95X vs. The South Falls, ends in 0-0 draw. First game of WC 81

The South Fallsian team has debuted in the 81st World Cup today, ending in no points. The battle was a sluggish, very tired-looking game, uncharacteristic of the interesting and high-scoring games the South Falls often plays. The ball passing from team to team without any real offensive drive showing from both teams. The names of the 95X players have not been released, so this analysis will use their numbers and positions in referring to them.

Starting from the very beginning, the South Falls put their fists in the air, with their index fingers extended, in reverence to their long-time manager, Raeburn Akane. Akane had died seven years to the day of that game, and the team decided to remember him at the beginning. The South Falls then received the ball to start off the game.

The South Fallsian pivoting-midfield line, with three members led by Camellia Martie, burst into action. Using agility and speed to compensate for their lack of hard attack, they were within a few yards of the six-yard box within the first two minutes. The dragon of bad shots then reared its ugly, boring head. Martie booted the ball across the pitch towards striker Alan Ina, and Ina, with poise and grace, slipped. The ball rolled off of his foot, caught by the padded gloves of the keeper of 95X. Possession of the ball then changed hands.

The 95X midfield then took control, and forced their way through the South Fallsian line, moving towards Torilis in the goal. Their striker set up for a dangerous play, with Torilis bouncing around within the goal. 95X’s striker then shot the ball, whacking center-left defender O’aloa K’reefe directly in the face, and causing the ball to bounce directly off the cross-bar, and fly back to the feet of the striker. The ball was then booted deep into the stands, entirely missing the goal.

Beginning at the 20th minute, the South Falls regained the ball and held it for another 8 minutes. In this time, the back-midfield of Haywood Aureole and Merton Jens had broken formation, and transitioned themselves into a psuedo- 4-5-1. They even overtook the front midfield, seeming to be too deep into the game to remember to pass. They moved their way to the goal, where they promptly made an amazing slip to the ground. The ball again rolled away.

Nothing very much important happened between the 28th and the 43rd minutes, seeing as both teams stayed within the bounds of a few yards left and right of the midfield line. Right after the 44th minute, the 95X team took their 4th shot on goal, the striker punting the ball into the stands.

The 81st minute saw a back and forth goal-missing relationship with the 95X players as each side took a total of 14 goal shots per side, with each missing all. Every member of the South Fallsian line took a shot, except for the goalkeeper. The most noteworthy shot came from The South Falls in the 86th minute, where Nadia Vladimirovna broke the national record for longest missed goal shot, coming from inside the South Fallsian six-yard box. Her cannon of a leg misfired, and she missed. The game took another 5 minutes worth of extra time, in which neither team could muster a goal.

The South Fallsian team was inaccurate, lazy, sluggish and just generally an extremely boring team to watch. Their normal offensive style was countered by 95X, and instead of responding with further pushing like they should, they just slowed down, and hand their game mired in an invisible mud. The lack of shot taking ability also crippled this team, making it extremely hard for them to recover from the blows they were dealt.

The defense was solid, though nothing Cup-winning, and possibly not even good enough to make it out of the qualifying round. While allowing no goals, they still let the 95X players into their 18-yard box 9 times. The real credit in this game must be given to Verein Torilis. Blocking all of the shots on goal, his athleticism has showed.

The future doesn’t look great for the South Fallsian squad. Cursed with a mediocre at best offense, and a defense who’s only golden spot is it’s goalkeeper, and a serious losing streak throughout the year, it will be a miracle if the WC-81 South Fallsian squad makes it out of qualifying.

[Mriin]

Before he knew what was happening, Geraard found himself sat in a small back room in a Darkmanian hole-in-the-wall. Going from the bright lights of the shiny new Tÿramël Städÿon to the dimly lit, dank confines caught his breath for a moment, but in the end this was all just a part of Don's routine.

But despite the obvious attempt at intimidation through choice of locale, the look leveled by the dragon was lacking in venom. It was difficult to make out in the lighting, but Geraard could have sworn he saw a hint of apprehension in there. "Alright, something is wrong here. Are you playing through a fever or a pull?"

"...naw, boss, I'm in good health." A casual shrug. "I just wasn't at my best tonight, and I hate that just as much as you do."

"I don't mind when you're 'not at your best', it happens. But on this team, 'not your best' does not mean 'five conceded and one point from Darkmania and fucking Neo-Romanum'." A heavy sigh. "You've been playing for me for nearly a decade, Geraard. There were clear lines to prevent several of those and I know you didn't simply miss them."

"...so what do you think I was doing, then?" A rising voice.

"I don't know!" A clawed fist slams into the table. "I don't have any idea why this team is playing the worst it's played in years now. We just nearly won a tournament and now we're shitting the bed at the real deal. What am I supposed to think?"

"Not accusing your players throwing the fucking match, that's for sure." Commotion outside, a lowered voice. "You're too wound up. There's a thousand reasons-- we're rusty, we celebrated too hard, we just plumb forgot how to play good football. All of them more likely than whatever you've got brewing in your head."

An awkward silence. Don's eyes darted around every few seconds as the hamster wheel spun; Geraard was suddenly able to see how red they were--had he been getting any sleep?

Snapping out of it with a shake of the head, Don buried his face into a hand. "You're right, that was a daft conclusion. I knew I was on edge, but... it's dangerous it clouded my judgement that badly."

Then Geraard's eyes went wide. "Oh, fuck, right. The MNL drama."

"Don't get me started. You must have gotten a taste at the perfunctory events you represented the Skewers at, but things are so much worse between the founding owners. Next season happening at all is in question." Geraard took his own turn processing that information silently. "...which should not leave this room, by the by. I'm doing all I can to keep this shitshow together, and it would be such a great help if the NT didn't decide to implode simultaneously."

[Main Nation Ministry]

Kahe Island: The Harbor

"May I see the relic?" CEO Ivo Seth said, looking over his tablet where he saw the relic on his screen. According to the description, the relic was supposed to be an artifact belonging to one of the tribes that were nestled within the uninhabited areas of Kahe Island. Made from darkened wood and have a bone on the top of the relic, the relic was supposed to be cursed, yet hold great power. CEO Ivo Seth and several other members were hiding in a docked cargo ship within Amplo Harbor. Amplo Harbor was still having FKF activity, however the FKF had prevented access from Sol Sun to the harbor, so they didn't need to flee towards Sol Sun, since it was filled with FKF militia men. The problem is that the FKF were patrolling the water with several attack boats.

"And this relic? Does it reach possibly millions of currency?" Ivo Seth asked a tribal native, who seemed to be unconcerned at why he was here. "Our people has had that relic for generations. Of course, we don't see any use in your money, unless you are willingly to trade." the tribal member forced to be in cilizan garb, also didn't see any use for the money, as it would have been useless for his tribe. "You wish to have food? Luxury food, perhaps?" Ivo Seth questioned the tribe native. "Let me see, what kind of possible luxury you may have?" Upon command, the CEO had a worker pull on a wheeled table a fish tank full of snakefish. "Bah. I don't expect to have creatures such as those. Your foreigners view them as an invasive species, anyways."

"Alright, time for Plan B." CEO Ivo Seth had a worker carry a large cage of cocoa beans and set them in front of the native. "I see.. I think only two cocoa beans are enough. We will simply use these to grow some trees." the native said, giving the CEO a map of where the village is. "I shall thank you for our transaction. Now, I recommend that you stealthy lead some of my assistants towards your tribe, so we may collect our relic?"

Kahe Island: The Sandcastle

"This is Squad Beta. Come in."
"Have you landed at Crema Bay yet?"
"We have. On a hillside. We're heading downhill towards the beach. Have Squad Alpha lured most of the FKF away, yet?"
"They have. Their holding ground, but not for long. We do have more intel on several possible information about TrenchSea. Remember, that they are to be treated as POI's and to be held in one place. About the TrenchSea, they are looking for a missing flash drive with their financial accounts. We are also getting reports that some employees from TrenchSea are trying to bribe citizens for their safety."
"Got it. Hang on, we see a structure in the distance." radioed the captain of the Beta squad, as his men saw a large third story castle made outta..was that sand?

At the beach was a large sand castle that seemed to act as a tourist attraction for possibly the resort, as there were cabanas with solar panels scattered around the area. Squad Beta was equipped with different type of assault rifles, rather MP5's and M14's, they had M82 assault rifles with ACOG scopes. As a special treat, they were equipped with tear gas grenades to stun enemies. Embarking down the hill, they entered through the cabanas to look for any possible citizens, until they hear two sounds at once. Footsteps coming from one of the cabanas and a bullet that came from up of the sand castle. "Sniper!" a squad member yelled, getting into cover. Someone tossed a tear gas grenade at the top of the sand castle, which was the chance for another soldier to run in the castle to confront the sniper at close-range. Not having time to admire the beautiful interior of the sand castle suite, they ran up the sand-made stairs, leaving large footsteps behind.

"Come on out! You're surrounded!" the soldier yells as from the top floor, they see the sniper cloaked in red, struggling to breath while clutching their sniper rifle which was similar to a Dragunov. "I said, you're surrounded! Drop the gun!" the soldier yells again, as the sniper smirked. Pushing down on a small button near the scope, they tossed the sniper rifle at the feet of the solider, not knowing what it's true purpose was. Then...

BOOM!

The rifle had been rigged to act as a martyrdom device, so it would deploy an explosive charge within the rifle. The resulting explosion demolished the top floor of the sandcastle first, being the rest proceeded to tumble down into a large pile of sand. A large amount of smoke can be seen erupting from the sand itself. "We lost Johnson! Damn it!" the captain, becoming enraged upon knowing Johnson couldn't have survived the blast. It was until a soldier discovered another TrenchSea executive hiding out in one of the cabanas. "Tell us why we shouldn't kill you! We lost one of our men and you are just wondering around in the middle of enemy terrority?!"
"Please! They had me implanted also!"
"With the heartbeat technology?"
"Yes, but not the FKF! TrenchSea had me implanted!"
"Wait. Are you saying that TrenchSea have been making the technology to help the FKF?"
"No! FKF were the ones to steal the technology. I'm just trying to get the locals on my side!"

"Sir, we found a bag of banded money on the bed of where we found him." a soldier explained, while the captain was interrogating the executive. "You don't understand! I came from the main resort! The whole resort is going to be ended up blown to smithereens, if we don't do anything soon!" the executive pleaded with the captain. "Why? What's happening at the resort?"

"Ben Mitsuyoshi, the founder of the resort! We think he has been kidnapped by someone!"

[Oscioru]

Save me ~by Desiderio Fraghi(1990-2007), he commited suicide caused by chronic depression. This is his last letter in the form of a poem, written days before he commited suicide in a forest near his house. The letter was found next to his deceased body, covered in blood.

Every day same old play
Happy in the daytime
Depressed in the nightime
Promises I never get to fulfill
Make me feel alright

But when I think everything's under control
It really is not
Trying to scream out "Save me"
But a hand is shutting my mouth off

Thoughts come back
Giving me ideas I never get to put to light
I think it's time to say "alright"
And ask for a saviour to watch my back

And when the lights fall down
and they get succeeded by the dark
it's the same old stuff, I can't bear it anymore
I need someone

But when I think everything's under control
It really is not
Trying to scream out "Save me"
But a hand is shutting my mouth off
But all I'm asking you for is to...
"Save me"

[Audioslavia]

On the first and second floors of the Supreme Court nightclub, dozens of revellers were partying the morning away. The steadily rising autumn sun helpfully blocked by blinded windows. All of them, in accordance to the club’s strict dress code on Monday nights and Tuesday mornings, were dressed in hard hats and overalls, like the guy from the Village People that also did that.

Below, in the bowels of the building, two men in overalls and hard-hats were staring at a concrete wall and wondering how thick it was. These two were not revellers. Not right now, anyway. They were contracted builders, tasked with unsealing the lowest floor of the club’s basement.

Harry laughed in Starblaydi as Barley aimed a furtive kick at the wall. Twenty minutes, now, the Audioslavian had been smashing at the concrete wall with a large sledgehammer. All Barley had accomplished was to create a short cavern.

“Who bloody knows how much concrete is here” said Barley, resting his sledgehammer on his right foot for a second.
“It’s definitely moving” said Harry. “If it’s moving, that means it’s not all solid concrete, at least”
“I haven’t seen it move” said Barley. He swung the hammer at the top section of the concrete, taking away a few lumps of it, trying to turn the cavern he’d created back into a wall, only a few feet further back. Slivers of cement flaked from the cavern’s ceiling. Harry brushed them away and behind them into the small pile they’d created.

Above them, a familiar song played. ‘Somebody once told me..’. Harry nodded at Barley, who shook his head in a ‘get away from the wall I’m about to hit it with a hammer’ motion. Hitting things with a hammer was much more fun if you could get into a pleasing rhythm. The same went for a lot of things. Running. Sex. War. Barley assumed the 1812 Overture had been written only to encourage soldiers keep firing cannons.

‘World’. ‘Aint’. ‘Shed’. ‘Look’. ‘Finger’. ‘Shape’. ‘Forehead’. The hammer blows smacked the concrete in time with the song. Fragments of concrete scattered the floor around them. Barley was able to take a step further forward into the cavern before…

“Aha!” shouted the Audioslavian. “Daylight”
“Daylight?!” asked Harry over the sound of falling concrete. “I bloody hope not, we’re five storeys underground”
“Nightlight then”
“No light whatsoever”
“Yes” said Barley, “but that’s the point. This, Harry, is a hole. You open it up. I’ll go on sweeping duty.”
Harry, a head taller than Barley and several heads wider in every direction, turned the hole into an accessible doorway in no time at all. There must have been six whole feet of plaster, concrete and cement that had been blocking the doorway. Now, on the other side, with the aid of a flashlight, the pair could see a stairwell winding down and to the right.
“They never had cells at the old Supreme Court” said Harry, “but I’ll bet there’s something down here. A network of tunnels maybe. I dunno. I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw other sealed-up doorways leading to god knows where”
Barley responded simply by gulping. The pair ducked under the concrete archway they’d created and sneaked through. The dull shudder of the music at the club upstairs faded to a background hum, one-upped by the sound of their footsteps in shallow water. The floor was damp.
“Natural” said Harry, nodding towards the floor. “There’ll have been a rusty pipe somewhere in this building at some point over the last few hundred years. Nowhere for the moisture to go once it gets down here.
The stone staircase descended onto the basement floor. Barley and Harry shone their flashlights ahead as they rounded a corner.
Barley swore and put his sleeve to his face.
“God strewth that smell”
Harry, senses dulled by decades of drinking and smoking, took a few more seconds to register.
“Ugh. Smells like something crawled down here and died.”
“What?”
“It’s probably just stagnant water, Barley, keep your head on”
Through a doorway now, the pair crept into what would have been the main corridor at some point. Beneath them, the thick pile carpet, once probably worth an absolute fortune, squished underfoot, sending the waterline to the bottom of their ankles in some places. Barley thanked the lord he was wearing boots. He saw that Harry had a pair on too, but knowing the Starblaydi they were probably as old as he was. He wondered if they had holes in them.
“Uuuuuurrggh for god’s sake”
Yep.
“We’ll head down the corridor to the end, scope the place out. There doesn’t look like there’s anything down here so far. It’ll just be a case of ventilating it and sucking out the moisture. It can be done in a day once we requisition the right equipment.” said Harry. “Pulling up these bloody carpets will be the hard part.”
“Are these walls artificial?” asked Barley, looking down to the end of the corridor. The corridor must have been thirty metres long, with doors either side every six or seven metres. At the end of the corridor Barley could see there was a corner, meaning it carried on to the left.
“Nah. This far down they’ll all be used for structural purposes. Should be properly conditioned to… yeah, see?” Said Harry. Barley looked over and saw that his colleague had shone his torch against a wall and wiped his finger across it. Any condensation that had been there had been removed by a wipe of his hand. The walls were sturdy. “No chance of the club coming down on our heads so long as we don’t take our sledgehammers to these things”
“Got it”.

The pair continued down the corridor, noting that, when they got to the left turn, the smell had largely dissipated. Barley found to his disgust that it came back once they rounded a second corner and came back in the same direction they came in. Ahead of them was an office. Nothing on the walls leading up to it but for the same types of closed door they’d already seen. Harry nodded towards it, stating they’d scope that out first before kicking open all the doors on their way back.
Once they got there, the pair shone their flashlights around the room. Wood panelling in some state of disrepair, an enormous mahogany desk and a typewriter. On top of the type-writer was an ancient magazine. Barley crept forward, nudged it, and saw that there were pictures of naked people on it.
“Nice” he said.
“Century old lad's mag. All those girls will be dead by now” said Harry, nodding sagely.
“Thanks for that” said Barley.
“You gonna check the drawers?” asked Harry.
“Aye” said Barley.
There was nothing.
“Let’s go, then” said Harry. “Leave the lad’s mag here. You can read it once we get some proper lights down here.”
“What now?” Asked Barley, ignoring Harry's suggestion.
“Let’s kick these doors open. Have a quick check to see if there’s anything big that’ll need carrying back up. You take the right, I’ll take the left.”
Barley heard one of Harry’s doors being kicked open as he slowly prised open the first door on his right. The room, thankfully, was empty. A door on the opposite side of what was presumably an old office seemed to lead back to the first corridor they’d come down. Barley left the door open and got to door number two. He noted that the smell had increased again. Drawing a deep breath through his sleeve, he moved to prise open the door before thinking better of it. A little spooked, he kicked it open and watched it swing, coming off its hinges a little as it hit the wall.
Barley shone a torch around the room, before fixing it steadily on a smallish desk. It took Barley a couple of seconds to register what it was that he was seeing. Once he’d processed the information, he dropped his torch to the ground and promptly fell to the ground himself.

[Petroslovania]

Petroslovania Daily

Providing Stats & Nothing But Stats est. 1938

The Black Blues Leave Challengers Bruised

Nigel Clarke, Sports Columnist

---

Petroslovakia - Due to the recent holiday in The Moderately Socialist Republic of Petroslovania we were closed and unable to report this weekend, however in these last three days the Black N Blues have played three games in the 81st World Cup.

On Saturday the first match was against Kalumba, a team that is only slightly superior to Petroslovania, but based on the game you won't have been able to tell that. Petroslovania outran Kalumba by a total of 200 meters per player.
11' Goal Carl López, Petroslovania
14' Goal William Johnson, Kalumba
42' Goal William Johnson, Kalumba
45' Substitution: Jędrzej Abdullaba off, Adam Czykowski on
45' Substitution: Soo-Jin Chan off, Pierre Beaulieu on
47' Goal Xia Sung, Petroslovania

Despite being an uneventful match this game witnessed López's first international goal as well as Beaulieu's and Czykowski's first game.

On Sunday the second match was agiant Bellarona, a team that is significantly worse than Petroslovania, the game was easy and Petroslovania decided to give many subs the chance to start, including veteran and WC 79 star Kiran MacEachern
39' Goal Igor Krasnodar, Petroslovania
45' Substitution: Igor Krasnodar off, Soo-Jin Chan on

This game has gone done in history as Petroslovania's least eventful match. Mark VanDeGraaf, dedicated Petroslovania fan who has only missed one game in the last 3 World Cups stated, "This was by far the most, and only, boring match I have been too.
The most interesting thing was the man selling Churros outside the stadium who had a sixth toe."

Above is the altered line up for Matchday 2

And today the third match is currenlty being held in Audioslavia, where the score is one to nill, Audioslavia winning, with only two minutes left. Despite playing their hardest we are unable to get anything past one of the multiverses most powerful and successful teams.

[Krytenia]

Tanks But No Thanks
By Rami Niblick in Emberton

THE nation hoped, and crossed its fingers. Bostopia, of course, are a team that the Krytenians traditionally like to get their teeth stuck into, and with it also being The Cocky One's first game in charge, the fans were hoping for the touchpaper to be lit on the Dragons' World Cup qualification campaign. What they got, however, was a damp fizzle as the men in white were unable to unlock a resolute Geesemonkey side. Instead, it's the visitors returning to Fort Boston with a single goal and three points.

What this game did uncover, however, was the inexperience of the tools at Valrauncion's disposal, especially in midfield. Roberto Juliano looked overwhelmed in the centre of the park, whilst Bostopia's wingbacks snuffed out any threat from the Hansen twins. Josh Coquelin acquitted himself well, laying on a few chances for the front two, but Valrauncion and Chris Naismith caught goalkeeper Liam Waters on a good day and he simply didn't look like being beaten. The same, to be fair, could be said of Marcus Washington, and one of the few positives to be taken from this game was the performance of the back five. Sadly, it was one of that defensive corps who ended up providing the only goal of the game as Cooper Sail's speculative effort deflected off Gareth Brannan's meaty thigh and, er, sailed over a helpless Washington and into the net. Sail's trademark "dying swan" celebration followed, but it's fair to say this was a Brannan own goal.

It's back to the drawing board, then, for the elf. Next up for the Dragons will be a trip to little-known Togonistan. Three points are a must here, as Krytenia have already seen their hopes of qualification begin to disappear into the distance. Onward!

KRYTENIA - 0
no scorers

BOSTOPIA - 1
Brannan (og) 68

[South Covello]

John Green's Presidential Address

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It seems, due to recent events in the nation, that some of our citizens wish to recall me. They say we should not be fighting wars, should not be helping free the Multiverse, and that the millions in chains of tyrants are, quite simply, not our problem. Let me make this abundantly clear - it is our problem. It absolutely is our problem. David Hale is a traitor and a tyrant for enabling other tyrants to come to power, and if the laws of our nation allowed it, I would lock him up for the rest of his life for Crimes Against Freedom. The blood of the Sanctii, of the Republicans, of the Taeshanis, of the Echanis, of the Kalactinites, of the Ethanios, and of the Quebecois are all on his hands. Blood of seven nations, all on this young man's hands for instituting a rebellion against freedom, against the very same principles we fought for just a few short years ago.

"Therefore, I encourage, nay, demand, the Legislature approve my seven war proposals with all due speed, not reject them yet again. But if you reject them yet again, I will submit them yet again, and we can keep playing this stupid game until you give me what I want and we take out tyrannical leaders who must be stopped. Trudeau is a tyant, Paulus is a tyrant, Bernat is a tyrant, Taeshan and Ethane impersonate tyrants which makes them tyrants too by pretending to be Eshan so they're basically the same nation, and Northwest Kalactin oppresses its people through its illiteracy campaign and must be stopped. If the Legislature won't do it, I'll make them. I'll teach them a lesson and make them. But that is not all. Wherever there is a tyrant, or a potential tyrant, or a tyrant in the making, or a tyrant wannabee, we will be there, we will take them out, and we will free the people of that nation from tyranny, potential tyranny, illiteracy, or whatever it is that troubles them. We will be a source of freedom everywhere. But only if the Legislature lets us, and only if treasonous tyrant-enabling filth like David Hale don't stand in our way. We must proceed to fight for the freedom that makes us free, to fight the tyrannical tyrants, to take out the power of the despots, wherever their strongholds may be. We will be a shining light for freedom, and so what if our country suffers, it's not about us, we can be free, but it is not good enough unless all are free. We must sacrifice as much as we can do fight for freedom around the world. David Hale is wrong - we must get the whole world, the whole Multiverse free before we can worry about ourselves. Cassadaigua oppresses men, they're like reverse Saintland, I think I'll declare war on them too. Hey Legislature, here's an eighth war for you to approve. I will submit a formal request just as soon as I'm done with this speech. Let's invade Cassadaigua and make them not sexist anymore, make them not hate men like Saintland hates women. And maybe it's not bad there as in reverse Saintland, but it's still bad, Cassadaigua is still evil, and hey, I think they have a Queen, which is a monarch, which is bad. So let's install egalitarian democracy in Cassadaigua right now. Eight war proposals now before you, dear Legislature, please accept them or the blood of Cassadaiguans and all the others will be on your hands.

"To reiterate - these are all fights worth fighting and we must fight all of them, and win, before we can focus on getting our own house in order. Because what good is freedom in one place if there is not freedom everywhere? What is the plight of South Covellans compared to the plight of billions across the Multiverse who are still in chains of tyrants? Cry me a river, David Hale, about people suffering here, people are suffering far worse elsewhere so I really don't give a tinker's tootle about what you say or what's going on here. We must fight for freedom everywhere, then focus on improving the conditions here, only once we have ridden the Multiverse of every last tyrant, monarch, despot, clown leader, and more. Freedom for all or freedom for none! Good night everyone, you'll never stop me!"

---

President Green's Approval Rating Near Zero

President John Green's approval rating is near zero, a new poll shows, particularly after he attempted to declare an eighth war in addition to his seven active declarations, this one on Cassadaigua. "President Green thinks he knows about Cassadaigua," activist and recall leader David Hale says. "They are a peaceful, free nation who just does things a little differently on gender. Men are not oppressed like women are in Saintland. And even if they were, that's not a reason to invade. Again, we must get our own house in order first. And we must stop these endless wars. President Green, by his own admission, 'doesn't give a tinker's tootle' about our people. That's a terrible thing for a leader to say."

Recall petition statistics just a week or so in to the effort show that about 100,000 signatures have already been collected, meaning they're well on pace to collect the requisite number of signatures in time, or even more. And the effort is ramping up. Hundreds, if not thousands of activists, of all ages but many of them under 30, are ramping up efforts to circulate petitions on street corners, in front of supermarkets, door-to-door, and eveyrwhere in between. It seems John Green's days are numbered.

Meanwhile, the Legislature unanimously rejected President Green's latest war proposal with Cassadaigua almost immediately, lest the Cassadaiguans get the wrong idea and launch a preemptive strike, but President Green of course immediatley proposed it again, true to his word. The Legislature now says it will wait the full 14 days before rejecting it again, lest they waste even more time, but made it quite clear to the Cassadaiguan government they have no intention of ever approving it, there was no reason to be alarmed, and they should not consider preemptive military action, lest all of President Green's threats and madness suddenly seem justified. For now, the situation seems to have stablized, but none of the governments mentioned have issued official responses yet, so time will tell what happens.

For now, with President Green increasingly descending into madness, the South Covellan people are certainly glad we now have a system of checks and balances preventing one crazy, mad leader from destroying everything, but the situation is nevertheless deeply concerning.

[Beepee]

Beepee 1 - 0 Jeckland
Veera ('4)

An early goal for Sam Veera resulted in a quiet and unassuming victory for Beepee.

Captain Chris Patterson, who was voted Beepee Player of the Match in Match Day 2 was interviewed following the victory over the higher ranked opponents.

Reporter: " Well Chris, it was a surprising result tonight?"

CP: " It was indeed. Jeckland are a tough side, but they've been a bit absent in the qualification so far. That helped us."

Reporter: "The team's done well so far, with 2 wins and a loss. How do you rate the teams performance tonight?".

CP: "I felt we were distinctly average, but Sam's early goal helped settle or nerves and we could play or usual style after that moment".

Reporter: "Tonight's match was called by some as a bit of a snooze- fest. Do you think Beepee should play a more attractive and exciting style of football?"

CP: "Well, we won. I don't think Beepeeps complain to much when we win. Could we do something more exciting... yes... could the Beepeean FA think of some exciting God-Mod event to happen rather than always doing journalism... yeeesss... but let's face it Beepee has always struggled to have any form of imagination at these things."

Reporter: "We're off to Ndaku next. Looking forward to it?"

CP: "Of course.... a new exciting place to visit. We know the 'Ndakenes are regarded as those who are willing to have fun and tend to be physically and mentally fit, thanks to the balanced lifestyle they live.' So it should be a great match".

Reporter: "Thanks".

CP: "You're welcome. ".

With no injuries or fitness issues... Beepee maintains its first team for the next match.

[Commonwealth of Baker Park]

© Sporting Times Daily 2020
BP will need to be Road Warriors again
by Mindy Cartwright, National Soccer Writer

For the Qualifying for World Cup 80, the Commonwealth National Team almost certainly defied the odds on the strength of their form away from the familiar fields of Baker Park; they earned 19 of their 32 points from away days, losing only to Darmen and South Covello.

This current edition of qualifying will need more of the same if BP wish to book a trip to Banija or the Free Republics as competitors rather than as fans. So far, they have taken all the points from their opening two matches in Freeport & Innovian Indusse and following the matchup with St Saratoga at Collins Park, they will have 3 of their next 4 games on the road, including back to back showdowns with Coldfield & Taeshan and also a trip to Darmen.

The rotation of the twin squads has seen each side get two opportunities to show their stuff, with Trevor Richmond's Black squad playing the away matches and Pam Scott's Gold squad getting the first two home matches--the previous game in Ezriquay against Timmy's Tigers and the upcoming one mentioned earlier. But Scott will keep her squad intact and the Golds will play the next match in the cycle at Coldfield, with the Black side getting the next home date when Kwesiland visit on matchday 7.

Although they have taken full points from the opening three contests, the performance as a team has been uneven on both sides. This has made the play of certain individuals stand out further when viewed in isolation and it's been this exceptional display of talent that has carried the day in all three contests. The center of midfield especially looks strong--and crowded--with Erica Shaw and Matt Villareal continuing their excellent partnership for the Blacks and Nathan Ohler and Steven DiPietro looking similarly dangerous for the Golds; throw in a strong 26 minutes as a sub for Annabeth Westmoreland against Timmy's, and you can see where there are going to be hard decisions to be made when it comes to selecting a final squad.

There's nothing so egregiously broken in the system that the luxury of 12-14 days of training wouldn't iron out, but that's a luxury the Commonwealth don't have at present.

[Qusmo]

QNT offense stymied in 1-0 loss to Savalen

After enjoying two matchdays at the top of the table, Qusmo was humbled by two-time World Cup qualifiers Savalen.

After opening World Cup 81 Qualification with a 4-1 win over Rakivland & then beating Axuva 4-0, Qusmo returned home & looked to enjoy another victory before taking on New Gazi, the only other Group 9 team which had won both of their first two matches. The visitors were ready to prove, however, that the tough part of Qusmo’s schedule started on Matchday Three, not Four.

“I heard a lot of people say before the match that because they were ranked lower than us, or because they were outside of the top hundred, they didn’t really pose a threat to us,” national team manager Avarn-Oxolt Ban said, visibly upset. “Well, Savalen has made it to the World Cup twice before, & no one in this country to ought forget that. We can’t ever look past an opponent, especially one like Savalen. There’s no excuse for that. & we can’t do that again. In fact, that kind of mentality will only hurt us in our supposed ‘important’ matches, as risking dropping points will only put more pressure on us in the matches to come. Indeed, now we’re behind New Gazi by three points, & we’ll need a win just to keep pace with them. That’s not the position we wanted to be in. It’s not a position we should be in, frankly.”

However, Avarn-Oxolt Ban rebuffed the idea that a mid-qualifier friendly may have contributed to their team’s performance by throwing the national team out of sync. “No, absolutely not. Our association decided that it would be invaluable to play against Banija, especially early on in the cycle. They qualified for the World Cup last year, & they’ll be at it again this year. This was a chance for us to try out some of our lesser-known players & evaluate them against some excellent competition. That was a fantastic opportunity for us, & I’m glad we took it.”

Many think that the 1-0 loss to Banija, with nine changes in the starting XI that was used in Qusmo’s first three qualifying matches, threw off Qusmo’s rhythm & made them lose momentum. Indeed, after two decisive victories in which Qusmo scored four times each & conceded one goal over the course of both matches, Banija held Qusmo scoreless, earning a 1-0 win that echoed Savalen’s winning margin the following matchday. & it is one of four losses in friendlies that Qusmo has suffered this cycle out of six matches total, accompanied by two draws & no wins. “Again, I don’t share that opinion,” Avarn-Oxolt responded. “I think that friendlies are an excellent way for us to evaluate players we don’t see that often & to bring new talent into the squad. That should never be an excuse for us to play poorly.”

Qusmo did not play all that poorly in their match against Savalen, however; they just fell a little short. Early in the context, poacher Paliv-Xilit Max - who had quietly been enjoying a three-match scoring streak, with seven goals from Xilit-Zaxac Yol during that time - landed a screamer square on the post. It rebounded to Xilit-Zaxac themself, & given the goalkeeper’s dive to try to keep the initial effort out, it seemed as though it would surely be goal number eight. However, despite an open net, Xilit-Zaxac was unable to react quickly enough & caught the wrong bit of ball on their wrong foot, pushing it far left.

After the match, Avarn-Oxolt said that it was one of its key turning points. “If we get that goal, we get the momentum, we get the lead, & we put pressure on Savalen. We wouldn’t have to send so many players forward so often, & that would leave us less exposed at the back. We could focus not on scoring a goal, but on preserving our lead. That’s where we wanted to be. Unfortunately, it just wasn’t our night for that.”

Ultimately, it was a sixty-seventh minute counterattack that left Qusmo’s back line out of position, allowing the only goal of the match - & leading not only to Qusmo’s first loss of the qualifying campaign, but their first loss to an opponent ranked lower than they. “Of course, it’s going to happen eventually,” Avarn-Oxolt contended. “Whether we lose here or whether we lose some other time, eventually we’re going to lose. It’s a shame that the streak had to be broken here & now, but every team gets beaten by teams ranked lower than they are. That’s what sport is. That’s why we play the game & don’t just assign the result of the match to whoever has the best KPB. Lower-ranked teams are always going to have a shot against higher-ranked ones. That’s what we hope to prove in our next match, against New Gazi - &, unlike this one, we’ll need to make sure we have our complete focus on the ninety minutes we’re playing that day.”

Group 9
Qusmo 0–1 Savalen
New Gazi 3–0 Axuva
Karulicja 6–2 Rakivland
Eastfield Lodge 3–1 Polkopia
Valanora 7–1 Nuadh-Alba

   Group 9                         Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 New Gazi                          3    3   0   0     7    1   +6     9
 2 Savalen                           3    2   0   1     5    4   +1     6
 3 Qusmo                             3    2   0   1     8    2   +6     6
 4 Karulicja                         3    2   0   1     9    4   +5     6
 5 Eastfield Lodge                   3    1   2   0     6    4   +2     5
 6 Valanora                          3    1   1   1    10    5   +5     4
 7 Polkopia                          3    1   0   2     3    6   −3     3
 8 Axuva                             3    1   0   2     3    9   −6     3
 9 Nuadh-Alba                        3    0   1   2     2   10   −8     1
10 Rakivland                         3    0   0   3     4   12   −8     0

QNT offense stymied in 1-0 loss to Savalen
Qusmo 0–1 Savalen
Mastad Polana, Polan, Qusmo (cap. 60 000)

---

GK  Xynat-Evela Cuf
CB  Yelto-Alfan Ono
CB  Zenon-Gerol Kal
CB  Cunix-Betva Tla
DM  Yunal-Julad Waz
77’ Prant-Pertz Gor
CM  Ilinx-Kepex Zev
LM  Kynda-Sevet Pec
81’ Ozolx-Mazur Guv
RM  Forzu-Ralox Kal
81’ Jralv-Nexec Pec
AM  Ilinx-Vulav Ixi
SS  Paliv-Xilit Max
ST  Xilit-Zaxac Yol

QNT falls in friendly to World Cup hosts Banija
Banija 1-0 Qusmo
Hoima City Park, Hoima, Banija (cap. 60 000)

---

GK  Vanza-Jerat Gep
CB  Cunix Betva-Tla
52’ Gavax-Nenzi Abe
CB  Ozolx-Alfan Ixi
LB  Yoltz-Tlanx Sal
RB  Nirlo-Betva Uzo
CM  Ilinx-Kepex Zev
46’ Yamaj-Blonz Jok
LM  Helek-Nenzi Ono
RM  Ilinx-Iblix Tla
LW  Ozolx-Mazur Guv
RW  Jralv-Nexev Pec
ST  Prant-Pertz Gor
78’ Rilan-Jerat Nev

[Jeruselem]

In Mareibat, after Jeruselem beat the local team 1-0 ... young Katya and the coach Princess Chloe

Chloe: Hey, thanks for saving our hides there. We were heading for a draw which wasn't what we wanted.
Katya: I was doing my J O B
Chloe: Say, that's how my sister says job.
Katya: I think I spend too much time talking to her.
Chloe: She talks a lot, maybe too much
Katya: I guess someone has to be good at that round here

Chloe: It's fine by me, I don't need to front up to the press
Katya: I just get the impression some people think I'm the Princess Cassie
Chloe: Why is that?
Katya: Not everyone but I get a lot of autographs from foreigners, locals know I'm not a Princess
Chloe: If you dress like her, you do look like her but I'd know you're not.
Katya: She's classy, I'm not.

Chloe: Hey, you're still very good looking. Well most Dallas girls are. I say "MOST"
Katya: I wish I had more confidence, maybe that's my problem
Chloe: You put yourself down far too much
Katya: I guess that comes from being from low socio economic background
Chloe: I guess us Princesses don't have much to complain about
Katya: Um, can ask a favour?

Chloe: As long as doesn't involve banks or lawyers
Katya: I need borrow some money ...
Chloe: Oh, that's OK then. What you doing with it?
Katya: I need to pay some back rent, landlord increased the rents recently.
Chloe: Funny some of the other team members have been complaining about that as well. I won't know, I live in a castle.
Katya: I don't want be homeless, that would suck.

Chloe: Can't you go back home with the parents?
Katya: They live in the middle of nowhere these days, too far from work for me.
Chloe: OK, that would makes sense. Can't your employer do that?
Katya: Oh them, they don't do pay advances. Tight asses
Chloe: Oh yes, you play for a club owned by a Jewish bank. I know who you talk about.
Katya: Yes

Chloe: So how much?
Katya: 100K ... eh ...
Chloe: Less than one BitCoin, that's fine ...
Katya: It's a lot of money for me.
Chloe: Why don't you move then?
Katya: Everywhere else is just as expensive to rent

Chloe: Actually it's just the currency, makes everything look expensive.
Katya: Yeah I know
Chloe: Don't worry, I'll deal with it. I don't want homeless players.
Katya: Thanks
Chloe: I don't charge interest but it's not free money either.
Katya: I'll pay it back ... when I get some monies

Chloe: If we qualify, which hasn't happened for a while but anyway. If we do, you get your bonus
Katya: More goals then
Chloe: Yeah, preferably winning ones like today.
Katya: Don't expect one every game
Chloe: As long as we win anyway
Katya: I'll do my best

[Siovanija and Teusland]

STELBURGER ZEITUNG

LATE EDITION -- SPORTS

TWO QUALIFIERS SEE MIXED RESULTS FOR GOLDHORNS

STELBURG -- Siovanija and Teusland’s national team took to the field for two further World Cup 81 Qualification matches, taking on the teams from Sargossa and Raffiah. A win and a loss resulted from those fixtures.

It had been known since the day of the group stage draw that Sargossa would be the national football team’s biggest opponent in Qualifiers: ranked 21st in the world, Sargossa had also reached the final of the recent Copa Rushmori tournament. Making things worse, the home fixture would be only the second date of the campaign, allowing little time for the Goldhorns to settle into good form for the match. The victory over Altai Almas kicked off the Qualifiers, and a strong 3-0 performance encouraged the team leading up to the Sargossa match.

Manager Alan Dzekov was similarly optimistic in his pre-match presser. “We played well last time out, and here we are facing the biggest challenge of these qualifiers. It’s going to be a tough day, but if we step up our game anything is possible.” Thorsten Kramer was excited for the match as well, saying “It’s always fun to play teams that are some of the best in the world, because you are learning so much in every minute. Hopefully, we can go out there and grab a win off them.”

Dzekov’s squad for the game was relatively unchanged from the first match of qualifiers. The only change saw Lyubomir Dimitrov dropped in place of Dietmar Kleinmann, who returns as first choice in the left back position. There had been some questions about Paulus Leistner’s fitness leading up to the game, as he had picked up a knock in training the week prior, but in the end he started the match.

Sargossa kicked off at the Nationalstadion to open the match, and they quickly took control of the game. Siovanija and Teusland could not keep up early on, and it looked as if Sargossa were going to waltz through the match without a problem. Nikola Karapetrov in particular made several solid tackles, however, in the early stages of the match to keep Sargossa away from goal. Sargossa’s best chance early came through Iván Mayoral, the veteran forward beating Raphael Klopfer to a ball before firing a shot that was off the post before going out of play.

The Corsairs, however, could not be held back for long. Eventually, Mayoral would get another chance off a corner. Lutz Daschner attempted to clear the ball, but could not, and the ball fell to Mayoral who pounced on the opportunity and blasted the ball into the net, making the score 1-0 for the visitors. They would follow up on that chance just minutes later, this time Miguel Mari put his name on the scoresheet. Mari rushed forward to intercept a poorly-placed pass from Nikola Karapetrov. Mari was then able to push towards the goal and slot a shot into the bottom right corner past Viktor Venev. 2-0 to the Corsairs, and Siovanija and Teusland were struggling to keep up.

The Goldhorns managed to strike on the counter attack, however, shortly after Sargossa’s blitz. Vladimir Kostov stole the ball off Sergio Espina in midfield, then ran forward as the Goldhorns responded in numbers. Kostov sent a pass off to Thorsten Kramer, who sent the ball off to Paulus Leistner on the wing. Leistner moved inside, before finding Ivo Romanov just outside the box. Romanov struck the ball after a single touch, and he managed to send it into the top left corner of goal. That cut the Corsair’s advantage to 2-1, and gave Siovanija and Teusland a bit of hope heading into halftime.

Two quick Sargossan goals killed off that hope, however, early in the second half. Ivan Mayoral set the Corsairs off right just 4 minutes into the half, a powerful shot from around the penalty spot beating Viktor Venev. Shortly after, Raphael Klopfer fouled Mayoral in the box, giving Sargossa a penalty. Mayoral knocked it home for his hat-trick, and surely put the game out of reach with a 4-1 Sargossan lead.

Siovanija and Teusland would grab a goal before the end of the match, however, Krasimir Kynev scoring from a wonderful solo effort. His strike, which flew into the the top of the goal and beat Carlos Rios to the top corner. It earned the applause of those in the Nationalstadion, but was nowhere near enough to save the day for the Goldhorns. Sargossa, who played some beautiful football on the day, added a late goal off the head of Alex Gonzalez. All in all, it was a poor day for Siovanija and Teusland who lost 5-2.

The focus for the team after that match was recovering in time for the match away to Raffiah. Raffiah, ranked 307th in the world, had managed a draw with the Alpine Union to open up their campaign, but then been defeated 4-0 by Main Nation Ministry. “We want to put that loss to Sargossa behind us, and hopefully put ourselves back on track here,” commented Ivo Romanov.

Alan Dzekov made a few changes to the squad for this match. Anton Dimitrov came in to play centre forward in place of Krasimir Kynev, while Lutz von Bergen stepped in for Paulus Leistner. The midfield trio remained the same, while at the back end Stefan Licht paired up with Raphael Klopfer, in place of Nikola Karapetrov. Julian Fehr stood in for Viktor Venev in goal.

The Goldhorns opened up the away fixture with a zip to their game, storming the Raffiah end of the pitch and launching attack after attack. Anton Dimitrov had a particular spark in his game, firing in several shots, however, the closest he came to a goal was off the post.

Three goals came for the Goldhorns in the first half, enough for a 3-0 lead at the break. Siovanija and Teusland really took the game to Raffiah, and would not let up on attack. Raffiah attempted to counter, but could not really get anything going. The first goal came off a brilliant Viktor Dimitrov through ball that found Anton Dimitrov. The forward worked his way past a defender before firing a shot that beat the keeper near the post. Shortly afterwards, Lutz von Bergen would grab his first international goal. Vladimir Kostov won a free kick, taken by Thorsten Kramer. Kramer’s ball swung into the box, meeting the head of von Bergen before going straight to the back of the goal. Goal three was a beautiful curved shot by Ivo Romanov, who took the pass from Kostov before firing in his shot.

The second half of the match saw an attempted push back from Raffiah, who first scored off a free kick from their left winger. His shot beat a diving Julian Fehr, cutting the lead of the Goldhorns to 3-1. Soon after, Raffiah would score again, with their centre forward banging in a rebound past Julian Fehr. The Goldhorns tightened up after that, however, and not much else came towards goal. Insurance was added through the substitute Michael Ribbeck, who claimed his 6th international goal with a shot well placed into the low corner. It was an overall good performance from the Goldhorns, who sit 4th in Group 14 on 6 points.

Next up for Siovanija and Teusland is another home match, this time welcoming Thibaea to the Nationalstadion. Thibaea sit 8th in the group, having managed a draw and two defeats so far. We’ll be here to cover the next step in Siovanija and Teusland’s World Cup Qualifying campaign.

Sargossa 5-2 Siovanija and Teusland

Siovanija and Teusland XI (4-3-3): Venev; Kleinmann, Klopfer, Karapetrov, Daschner (Helmke 62’); Kostov (Brotzmann 71’), Kramer, Dimitrov; Leistner (von Bergen 75’), Romanov, Kynev
Goals: Ivo Romanov 42’, Krasimir Kynev 81’
Match Summary: A disappointing afternoon for Siovanija and Teusland. Ivan Mayoral’s hat-trick for Sargossa ensured the Corsairs a win on the day despite a great goal scored by Ivo Romanov near the end of the first half. Sargossa dominated the day, and deserved their three points.[/b]

Siovanija and Teusland 4-2 Raffiah

Siovanija and Teusland XI (4-3-3): Fehr; Kleinmann, Klopfer, Licht, Daschner; Kostov, Kramer, V. Dimitrov (Schoff 76’); von Bergen, Romanov (Heiden 62’), A. Dimitrov (Ribbeck 62’)
Goals: Anton Dimitrov 21’, Lutz von Bergen 29’, Ivo Romanov 40’, Michael Ribbeck 76’
Match Summary: Strong performance from the Goldhorns here. A lapse in composure for a few minutes in the second half gifted Raffiah 2 goals, but overall the performance was thorough and Siovanija and Teusland deserved their win.

[The Sherpa Empire]

‭

----֎-֎-֎----

‭The Dragon King of Tibet didn't have visitors very often. He lived in a remote area, and most people were afraid of him.

‭But he had lived for a long time, and with enough time, even the most reclusive creatures will be found. He had met a fair number of people over the centuries. Most of them were men. A lot of them made a big show of swaggering around to prove their courage in the face of the fearsome dragon. Many of them, especially in the old days, had tried to kill him. Nowadays, the Sherpas came when they wanted something from him or they wanted to complain about something he had done. They had learned that he liked curry, and they would use it to buy his cooperation, but they still weren't his friends. Bringing him his curry was a nuisance that they put up with because it was less trouble than fighting him.

‭Today was different, though. Today, a woman was coming to visit him -- not to bring him curry, not to negotiate some deal between him and the humans, not to make demands or complain -- just to spend time with him.

‭The Dragon King had met Sarki Ihawa a year ago, during their ill-fated attempt to rescue Jigme Sherpa from the Taliban, and they had formed an unlikely friendship. They both had the same problem, which made it difficult to have a normal social life: they were too powerful for their own good. Sarki was more or less above the law, both because of the authority that she was trusted with in her job as a government shaman and because there were few people that had the physical or magical strength to overpower her if she decided to disobey them. She didn't legally exist, having faked her own death many years ago. It was useful for her work, but it made it harder to have normal relationships with other people. She understood the Dragon King's loneliness, the social awkwardness of being a giant dragon too large to fit through the streets without breaking things and frightening people. And she wasn't afraid of him. She didn't cower in fear, or apologize for everything, or annoy him with forced bravado. She was a wonderful companion except for one thing: She was COMPLETELY ignorant and apathetic about sports.

‭The Dragon King loved football and could not shut up about it, and it drove him absolutely bonkers when Sarki didn't know what he was talking about. So he had convinced Sarki to come over and watch a game with him, where he could explain what was going on. The game was taking place in Mytanija, a country that neither of them knew much about, except that in the world of football it had a much longer and more impressive history than the Sherpa Empire. Their greatest glory days had not been terribly recent, so the Dragon King was hopeful about the Empire's chances -- but he still knew the Mytanars wouldn't go down without a fight, possibly a fight in the most literal sense of the word and not just a figure of speech.

‭They talked and slurped curry as they watched the pre-game coverage. The Dragon King had a bucket of his special Taliban curry (made with real Taliban fighters), but he couldn't convince Sarki to try any no matter how emphatically he told her it was delicious, so she was having chicken instead.

‭Sarki was saying something about South Covello's politics that the Dragon King didn't care about. She thought somebody or other was a war-mongering idiot, and was tempted to teleport into his bedroom and give him a scare. She didn't plan to actually do it, but she thought the idea was entertaining, and the Dragon King kind of liked the mental image, even if he had no clue who she was talking about.

‭The sportscasters on SISN were talking about the stadium in Thessia and the noisy throngs of fans that were pouring in to watch the game. It was larger and more grandiose than most of the Empire's football stadiums, and the fans were making quite a spectacle in the street outside.

‭"67,000 people?" said Sarki, commenting on the size of the stadium. "That's not an audience; that's a town!"

‭"Eden Gardens is that big," said the Dragon King, referring to a stadium in Kolkata that was used by a few of the Empire's domestic sports leagues.

‭"That's stupid."

‭As the game got underway, the Dragon King tried to explain what was going on, but he got the distinct impression that Sarki didn't understand it and didn't understand why anybody cared. It didn't help that nobody was scoring... It was actually kind of amazing that nobody managed to score, as aggressively as they were playing and as many shots on goal as they had. There were several instances of players colliding as players from both teams went for the ball at the same time and discovered they couldn't occupy the same space at the same time. Brian Jones-Dan got into a shouting match with Fejzuli that almost turned into a fist fight because Jones-Dan was convinced that Fejzuli had tripped him intentionally.

‭Sarang Lotsawa and Jezdimir Ocokoljic were getting visibly irritated with each other because Ocokoljic kept snaking his way through the Sherpa defense, only to have his shots blocked by Lotsawa. Both of them were clearly tired of confronting each other. To make matters worse, the language barrier made it impossible for them to tell whether the other was throwing insults or just exclaiming in surprise or frustration, and Ocokoljic seemed to think that Lotsawa was trash-talking him. (Actually, Lotsawa did not say anything insulting while he was on the field, but instead saved it for a post-game interview where he called Ocokoljic "an upstart kid" who "thinks he's all that and a bag of chips.")

‭There was one run-in where the Dragon King got agitated enough to knock Sarki off the couch, but considering how passionate he was about football and how big he was, it wasn't all that surprising. He apologized, she wiped up her spilled curry, and they went back to watching the game.

‭The Sherpa forwards gave Savic his share of work too, but with the players at that end of the field not assuming that anything they couldn't understand because of the language barrier must be an insult, there was less obvious hostility.

‭

----֎-֎-֎----

[Indusse]

Hey 4 th in group yay. I defeated more better teams like aggrey Finn land. I am in the group which has the latest BOF hosts. They are farfadillis and semarland. How auspicious is to have them in my group the match against aggrey finn land was a hard one oh if they scored one more goal our dreams may get scattered.


Isn't it a nice poem!

[Turori]

:: Turorian players tackle the Tiones Lumber Lumberjack Challenge ::

The Tiones Lumber corporation has a long history of aligning itself with sporting events in Vilita & Turori, from being the long time shirt sponsors of the Vilitan Stellar Division's Yeaddin Owls AFC, to their sponsorships in motorsports, the name "Tiones" is always on the forefront. Competitors and fans alike reap the benefits of Tiones Lumber involvement in sporting events with their finances sometimes allowing a team to compete or an event to proceed and their famous Lumberjack Competition displays always a hit with the fans.

The competition recently took an abbreviated form to the Cocoabo Forest where Turori's National Cocoabo squad train and pitted Citizen v. Cocoabo in a challenge off the pitch sponsored by Tiones Lumber and the Cocoabo Preservation Society.

Cocoabo Squad Participants: Sponsored by the Cocoabo Preservation Society
Cocoabo #86
Cocoabo #57
Cocoabo #64

Cocoabo #72
Cocoabo #46

Cocoabo #99

Citizen Squad Participants: Sponsored by Tiones Lumber
Nubara Moafalia
Lulu Pumaziiri
Mikki Mayelli

Wiztsana Iretziia
Kigaoua Oalalka

Daliora Toru'u

Event Zone 1: Chopping & Cutting

There were 3 distinct events in Zone 1, the Standing Chop, the Firewood Split and the Saw-Through Cut. Each event would see one member of the Citizen Squad and one member of the Cocoabo Squad competing head to head with the winner at each discipline earning a point for their team.

Standing Chop: Tool: Standard Axe :: In the Standing Chop Challenge, competitors can be scored in two different categories: Time and Number of Chops. A single 12 inch diameter log will be stood vertically and the competitior will be tasked with chopping through until the log is severed. Competitive times are expected to be under 20 seconds. All contestants are required to wear chainmail protection from the waste down to protect against injury from errant chops.

The Cocoabo Squad were represented in this event by Cocoabo #86 - the starting goalkeeper for Turori's National Cocoabo squad. For the Citizen squad it would be midfielder Nubara Moafalia. The two lined up about 20 feet apart in the two chopping zones and awaited the horn to sound. While it was expected that Moafalia would employ a traditional strategy towards the chop, it was not clear what strategy the Cocoabo would employ in the event. When the horn sounded, Moafalia got to chopping while Cocoabo #86 got to winding up. In the end Moafalia would complete the chop in just over 19 seconds. It would take Cocoabo #86 23.4 seconds to complete the chop however the Cocoabo was able to cut through using 3 fewer swings than Moafalia meaning that each competitor earned a single point for their team.

Firewood Split: Tool: Standard Axe :: Like the Standing Chop, there are two separate criteria used to grade the Firewood Split. Contestants will have 45 seconds to split. as many firewood segments as they can. The first 10 segments will be pre-staged and the contestant will be timed in completion of the first 10 successful splits. Should they have time remaining on the clock after the 10th split they will be tasked with resetting and further chopping segments until time runs out. Winners will be declared both on speed and number of splits made. All contestants are required to wear chainmail protection from the waste down to protect against injury from errant chops.

In the second event it would be self-declared woodsman Lulu Pumaziiri for the Citizen Squad going up against Cocoabo #57. From the initial go it was clear that Pumaziiri's previous experience as a woodsman was paying off as they were quickly cycling through the 10 pre-staged stations and into the set and chop stage. Cocoabo #57 suffered a pair of mis-chops having to reset the segments and chop again just to complete the initial set of 10 finishing about 8 seconds after Pumaziiri. The Cocoabo could not get into enough of a rhythm to catch back up to Pumaziiri's total chop as the 45 second clock ran out and the Turorian defender earned 2 points for the Citizen Squad.

Saw-Through Cut: Tool: One-man Bucking Saw :: Contestants will saw through an elevated, horizontal log with a 20 inch diameter using a one-man bucking saw. Competitive times are expected to be below 15 seconds.

Trailing 3-1 the pressure was on for Cocoabo #64 to keep things close against the Citizens who were being represented by Mikki Mayelli. This was perhaps the most hotly contested event of the day not only because of what was on the line with the Citizen Squad having already run out to a sizeable advantage but because it ultimately required a video review for a winner to be declared. While Mayelli went with a traditional approach, Cocoabo #64 wisely used a foot-based approach lying down, getting off to a slow start but building momentum and angular advantage on a tiring Mayelli as the final cut approach. To the untrained eye, it appeared that both had completed the cut at the same time. However, upon video review it was Mayelli's saw that broke through the log first, less than one tenth of a second before the saw of Cocoabo #64, putting the Citizens up by a score of 4-1.

After 1 of 3 Zones:

Event Zone 2: Climbing

The Climbing zone had three identical Climbing Challenge stations, two of which were used for the head to head competition with the trailing team representative - in each case the Cocoabo - allowed to choose their preferred tower first.

Log Climb: The event consists of a 20 meter tall vertical log which the contestant must after starting from a position with both feet on the ground, climb and bypass the 18 meter mark. Contestants will have spurred climbers on their feet and steel-cored climbing ropes. Several safety precautions are taken in the event. A support pole next to the designated climbing log will support a belay rope system managed by event staff. Time will stop once the contestant reaches the 18 meter mark on the vertical log and the contestant will not be timed on the way back from the top of the climbing log to return to the ground. Competitive times are expected to be below 13 seconds.

Two competitors from each team were chosen and each would go head to head with a member of the other team in two distinct races and a total of two points on the line. Wiztsana Iretziia looked pumped up and ready to roll against Cocoabo #72 but about 15 seconds after the horn blew the motivated face had turned dejected as Iretziia finally reached the top of the pole a few seconds after Cocoabo #72. Unpredictably, the Cocoabo appeared to have a distinct advantage with its own built in spurs and weight balance effectively allowing it to step briskly up the log while Iretziia struggled to get into a saw shimmy rhythm. Having seen how things were done by their teammates, the next round was almost a gimme for Cocoabo #46. While Kigaoua Oalalka was able to improve on Wiztsana Iretziia's 15 second time, it was not enough as Cocoabo #46 had beat them to the top and the Cocoabo Squad had a clean sweep of the climbing rounds, narrowing the gap to 4-3 on the scoreboard with one event to go.
Kigaoua Oalalka

After 2 of 3 Zones:

Event Zone 3: Family Zone

Log Rolling Pool While traditionally a non-competitive zone, The family zonel featured learning zones where Firewood Splitting techniques are taught; three single-log rolling pools including one with a picture zone where the log can be locked into place for an individual or family to pose for photos, two 7 meter climbing logs, a firewood stacking challenge area and a special tree planting zone that teaches youngsters and parents alike the value of Tiones Lumber's Renewable Lumber Operations. For the head-to head competition, however, it was the log rolling pool.

The final event was as straight forward as it came, a direct head to head challenge pitting Citizen against Cocoabo with everything on the line. The Citizen Squad came into the event with a 4-3 lead so knew they could not be defeated in the competition but still needed to claim victory in the final event in order to be able to claim superiority in the Tiones Lumberjack Challenge. A victory for the Cocoabo in the Log Rolling Pool would result in a 4-4 scoreline and no clear winner on the day.

For the event, the Cocoabo Squad sent forth Cocoabo #99 while the Citizen Squad put forward Daliora Toru'u. The two competitors stepped forward from either side of the log which was locked in place. Upon the starting horn, it was all left up to the competitors. The log was unlocked and it was up to the competitors to get the log rolling and attempt to knock their opponent off the log while retaining their own balance in the process. The Cocoabo looked to get things started early though Daliora Toru'u fought back hanging tough in the early going. Toru'u could sense a bit of a disadvantage however and tried to physically interfere with the Cocoabo, reaching out and swatting at the Cocoabo to try to disrupt their momentum. It wasn't enough, however, as Cocoabo #99 proved the master of the rolling pool when Toru'u splashed down completing an impressive comeback for the Cocoabo Squad ending the competition with both teams accruing a total of 4 points.

After 3 of 3 Zones:

There would be no tiebreaker on the day, as for some reason competition organizers didn't plan a tiebreaking event nor tiebreaking criteria into the rules which really didn't exist as evidence by the unconventional styles of competition displayed by the Cocoabo in the Saw-Through Cut and Log Climb competitions, as well as in the Log Rolling Pool by Daliora Toru'u attempting to get physical to knock their opponent off the log. The competition was still a success, however, and could return in the future so long as Citizens and Cocoabo continue to do battle on the sporting stage.

[Geisenfried]

How do you keep a dying art alive? That question was more or less her life's work, as the pace of change surrounding the news publishing industry seemed to be never-ending. The role of the press was undoubtedly important, and she knew there were plenty of people understood that - but not necessarily enough to the effect of being willing to pay for a subscription. Too many people could just search things on the internet or social media for no cost to themselves, even if what she and her coworkers were doing was the original source of the information. Still, one way or another, she kept herself dedicated to her craft, knowing that ultimately this was a service to the people more than it was a business. Public service didn't necessarily put food on the table, however, nor did it shut up the shareholders about profit margins...

She had hoped the World Cup qualifying effort might drive up interest - but there was only so much her sportswriting team could write up about a nil-nil draw. Sure, in the grand scheme of things it was probably a good result for Geisenfried, given the disparity in rank, and sure, you could wax poetic about the tactics and analyze how Büchner's defensive scheme kept Vakolicci at bay, but at the end of the day, zero to zero wasn't necessarily the most interesting result to draw eyes to. Maybe if they got on a streak and prove themselves contenders again, but who was she kidding - there was a long road ahead of them. Still, the upcoming match with Squornshelous would allow them the opportunity to do a retrospective on when the Geisenfried team was actually good and in their heyday - nostalgia, after all, usually sold well.

With the ideas swimming around in her head, she almost didn't notice the innocuous email that popped up in her notifications. At first glance there seemed no particular reason for her to make heed of it. It was extraordinarily commonplace for people acting as "sources" looking to break some story to contact her. But with depressing inevitability, it always seemed to turn into some conspiracy theory nutjobbery. Still, you can't separate the wheat from the chaff without a little effort, so she nonetheless opened up and looked at it, halfheartedly expecting another story about how the government was secretly irradiating the populace to keep out extra dimensional creatures. It'd only be what, the fifth time over the past couple weeks? So you can imagine her surprise when she recognized from experience working previous news stories what definitely looked like official government documentation on the opposite side of her screen. And a quick read through of even just the beginning showed there was something to this. She read and reread what she'd been sent - it was obvious that this source was new to the whole "leaking government documents" thing, and it would need some thorough background checking, but if this was what was she thought it was, then she had her story of the year. And if she could get it out just in time for election season to come around, well... she had a distinct feeling that the board would finally get off her back about subscriber count.

Geisenfried 0 - 0 Vakolicci Haven and Celeria

[Vilita]

3WD selected as WC81 logo & branding firm

3WD Headquarters, Lonngeylin, Vilita :: After initially being reported as one of a small group of entities being considered by the organizing committee of the 81st World Cup in Banija & Free Republics as the brand consultants and design firm charged with producing the graphical theme surrounding the competition, Lonngeylin-based design firm 3WD has been confirmed as the firm that will brand the identity of the upcoming 81st World Cup.

While 3WD has a long history of working with sports teams and entities to create an identity for public consumption, the selection of 3WD for logo and branding consultancy by the World Cup 81 Free Republics and Banija organizing committee will be seen as a major victory for 3WD as they return to the international sports branding scene following a major corporate restructuring that saw many of their physical design and production groups sold off to Tropicorp. The NSWC 81 logo, unveiled by the Free Republics and Banija organizing committee during the World Cup 81 qualification phase group draw was completely designed in house in Lonngeylin by 3WD and will adorn official documentation, signage and officially licensed event merchandise throughout the World Cup Cycle. While 3WD are strictly a design firm they were rumored to have partnered with Tropicorp for access to their old printing machines to produce prototyp WC81 event apparel which reportedly aided officials from the Free Republics and Banija in visualizing the brand identity 3WD were presenting and tipping the scales towards the selection of the final World Cup 81 branding.

It is not known at this time whether official World Cup 81 apparel production rights will be licensed regionally or whether exclusive production arrangements will be made. 3WD have reportedly already completed through their production partnership with Tropicorp an initial prototyping run of 500 T-shirts and 150 polo-shirts to be used by the World Cup 81 organizing committee officials as required in the build up to the 81st World Cup while final licensing, apparel and souvenir production rights deals are completed.

The final logo design includes the "NSWC" moniker along with a numeralized '81' stylized with the flags of the Free Republics and Banija crossing diagonally across the face. The names of each host nation accompany the text in a subdued charcoal form with their stylization representing the spirit both nations bring to the competition. The World Cup lettering shimmers in light gold to resemble the finish on the World Cup Trophy itself, to be presented at the conclusion of the tournament to its champion.

[Nephara]

Nephara 1 - 0 West Angola
(4-2-3-1) 12 - Swoboda; 2 - Rafford, 5 - Konoval, 6 - Steelhenge (22 - Thorn 85'), 3 - Lohengrin (19 - Close 70'); 4 - Rowland (23 - Carrow 81'), 8 - Klein; 7 - Fanaiyan, 21 - Gosforth (c), 11 - Strongbow; 9 - Hawke
Goal: Hawke 36'

The HERALD Presents...
NEPHARA'S GREATEST XI - PART ONE
Markus Carney

Hell, it's about time. A panel of scores of the greatest Nepharim sportwriters has come together under the Herald's mighty auspices, and they've done it for you, dear reader. No longer will arguments rage in the pub about who was the greatest whatever to wear the shirt. After many days of debate, one extensive final survey, and many sunk pints, devoured kebabs and at least two all-out bar fights in between, the definitive answers to Nephara's greatest ever XI have been found. At least, until this current group are done - no players currently in international consideration were counted.

It is, however, unlikely that there will be significant issue with the first choice. Of course it's Diandra Ballard, who would ultimately be between the posts as Nephara lifted the World Cup. She had to bide her time to get there, though - and patience never was her strong suit, whether on or off the pitch. Ballard loved AFC Treason, her home club, her hometown. Unfortunately, she came through the ranks just as the Licentian Russ Miller was establishing himself as the best goalkeeper in the league. So what's a girl to do but request a transfer, politely but firmly, and wind up with Crisisbless?

It was already a long way from home, where Ballard had lived a relatively decent life. She was the sole daughter of two tradesmen who made a good living in locksmithing and boot repair, a family business she was meant to inherit. But football always came first, even as a kid. Certainly over the family trade, and definitely over studies, where she was a thoroughly mediocre student. Six years ago, in an interview in this very paper, Ballard recalled being dressed down by her mother at 15, accused of gambling everything on the notoriously unstable footballing career. "Well, she was right, it was a gamble," she admitted. "But it paid off, didn't it?"

So did the move to Crisisbless, and it wasn't long before she was considered a rising star of the nation. She wasn't an exceptional sweeper, her distribution was fairly ordinary, nor was she the strongest in the air - but when it came to the art of actually making saves, Ballard was right up there. She quickly forced her way into the national team, and then, at the most important juncture of her career, moving into her mid-twenties... things... well, they stalled. A big-money move to FC Endeavour saw her have to fight for her place with veteran Paradystopic goalkeeper Kjn Volgirshaad, but the steady veteran's reliability saw him keep his place, and that lack of game time also kept her out of the #1 jersey occupied by Reece Coleman, making a name for himself in the Goldleague, with a sweeping game that suited Nephara's high line and an almost 1:2 clean sheets to caps ratio that has still never been matched.

Diandra Ballard had to do what she'd never had to do before; bide her time.

Good things came to those who waited. After a couple of years working diligently behind the scenes to perfect her all-round game, Ballard's foot was finally in the door, both for Endeavour - at the time, arguably the greatest club in the multiverse - and for the Cormorants. Her specialisation never changed, and she was always most famous for her remarkable acrobatics between the posts, and her lesser-feted reliability. And that just kept on ticking along through Theresa Riether's career, until suddenly, she was 33, international retirement announced, and it was the World Cup 74. That one. Her form was exceptional throughout the tournament, often called into action to save a line playing high, a team pressing without fear, going for the throat game after game. Until, of course, that penalty - Sean Fraser's powerful effort that nobody would have looked twice at had it scored. But Ballard committed, hard, and put two powerful palms behind it to beat it away. Terrazas and Zelaya scored, but so did Rainsford and Vyntra, and the Cormorants had won the World Cup.

She kept good on her promise to retire from the international game, but stretched out her career for close to a decade after that. First, a sentimental homecoming to AFC Treason, where she spent four years as steady and capable as ever, even if her penchant for acrobatics understandably slowed down with age. That wasn't the end, though, as she moved to FC Samotath in Cosumar to wind down her career, ultimately playing into her early 40s. People often wondered if it was stressful playing behind a devil-may-care Samo defence, given the side's proud tradition of basically just trying to score as many goals as possible. But Ballard always said it just reminded her of her glory days, and that glorious World Cup. She's now retired, and despite some flirtation with punditry, her main focus is in coaching. Perhaps that won't be the last World Cup Ballard gets her hands on, after all...

Honourable Mentions: In the spirit of a 23-man roster, the 2nd and 3rd-placed goalkeepers deserve credit, and a place on the overall squad. Kieron Riordan was between the posts for Nephara's first World Cup. A sharp and effective shot-stopper, Riordan was known for his solidity above all else. Though originally from Treason, his hometown club being Chatswood (long before they were relevant), his senior career took him to North Laithland, then to Wrexton FC and Dwile Warriors in the ANL, at that time the pinnacle of the domestic game. He eventually returned home at 35, moving to Goodfeather FC, but there was still plenty left in him yet - after one more move, he ultimately retired at 42, at Raven River. Perhaps unsurprisingly, he seems to have had his fill of football for one career - though his son, Karsten, is a North Laithland leftback who won a few caps for the Ceyne Isles. Riordan's 66 caps included Nephara's first two World Cups, where he excelled for a team that was still very much an underdog on the national stage.

Portia Thrift, meanwhile, was a goalkeeper of similar longevity. A veteran at Crisisbless, Thrift was second-choice in theory at the Baptism of Fire but quickly won her place over the 38-year old Asger Stubbs. Her 78 caps are a staggering achievement, considering she officially started collecting them at 33. She was a reliable goalkeeper, a commanding leader, a stoic presence between the posts, and one of those players who it's genuinely alarming to think would probably not be of Premiership quality today. She was, however, one of Nephara's first players to go abroad, seeing out her career with Riverside in Saugeais. She then entered the coaching ranks of the national side, and from there, took the assistant job, before moving on to the hot seat at Crisisbless. Her mixed record there lead, eventually, to her exit - she's now manager of Yesopalitha, a side which once put four goals past her. She will always be thought of fondly.

OOC: yeah i know i'm just cribbing apox's arc, shhh

[Mercedini]

81st World Cup Qualification MD3 LIVE
Oberour Ar Moro vs. Mercedini
@ Parade Grounds - Regium, Oberour Ar Moro

Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome back to the World Cup Qualification grind, bought to you by Mercedini Sports Daily. Tonight, we are in Oberour Ar Moro for Mercedini's third game of the campaign, with Mercedini in second place behind Vilita on goal difference, so a big win could be enough to take first place even in Vilita win their own game. The top two have already established a two point gap over the rest of the field, with OAM in third place on four points. It adds a new dynamic to a game this early as Oberour could jump into the top two if they can beat the Golden Eagles here at the Parade Grounds tonight. Mercedini will need to keep a keen eye on OAM in the group as the unranked side have certainly punched above it's weight in the opening two games, so it is sure to be a tight tussle between two competitive sides going for a spot in the top two. The teams are about to head out to a packed house in Regium, we hope it's a great match for the tens of thousands in attendance.

---

0' - Here we go! The teams head out of the tunnel to greet the tens of thousands of people packed into the Parade Grounds in Regium, with the local crowds hoping to see something special from the home side to ignite their campaign and to but themselves in the driving seat for at least a playoff spot, while the away fans are in their signature black and blue have arrived in numbers not only in their designated seats, but even in some of the home seats thanks to the ticket touts outside the ground. The big match is certainly capturing the imagination of the locals here, meaning there's plenty of action happening in the stands with crowd in burgundy and dark-red matching the kits of the home side. Lyndainium has opted for a full strength side once again with Chillotov and Dostalok upfront with Nymark and Kraljic in central midfield, while Dosic and Toivonen remain at the back as they hope they can make it nine in nine from their first three matches. Tobiasia wait after this for Mercedini, so momentum is key if they want to go clear at the top with Vilita.

3' - (OAM 0-1 MRC) - GOAL! An extremely quick start in this match as Daniel Dostalok scores his first goal of the campaign and it couldn't have been a better start for the Golden Eagles in Regium. A pressing move from Mercedini forced a quick clearance from the Moran goalkeeper, which allowed the visitors to quickly advance to the final third. A quick ball over the top found Presic as he bounded into the box. Many thought he was going to take the shot first time but he pulled it back to an arriving Dostalok who struck it first time into the far corner. A great start as Mercedini take the lead with less than 200 seconds on the clock, it could be a good night if they manage to hold onto their lead here.

7' - (OAM 0-2 MRC) - Oh my goodness what is happening here?! Chillotov scores his third of the campaign as he adds to his brace with a tap-in at the stroke of seven minutes. It was another poor clearance which meant the Moran players had to track back while the Golden Eagles were on the prowl for a second. Presic had the ball once again and was caught up in the corner, but Catessic was there in support and acted as the secondary option for a cross which was being set up in the centre. Dostalok, Chillotov and Kraljic were in the centre, wary of the offside flag which could be waved at any moment should one of them step out of line. It was sent in by Catessic and was met with a strong Dostalok header which looked to be heading towards the bottom corner. However, a rather spectacular save from Desainctvictori meant their strong hand padded the ball onto the post. Despite their heroics, Chillotov hustled to the loose ball less than a yard from goal to blast it into the net. The shot took a deflection off the goalie's body before hitting the roof of the net for Mercedini's second, still before the ten minute mark. The blue and blacks have certainly gone out to draw some eyes in this match, 2-0!

14' - (OAM 0-2 MRC) - We've had a couple of moments following that blistering start from the Mercedinians, as the OAM team go forward of their own accord, trying to find a way back into the game to halve the deficit and the tide of goals which have besotted them in the opening minutes of this game. The Mercedinians are making all of the noise but Oberour have certainly held their own at the moment and haven't been overwhelmed despite those two set backs. Odierne looks dangerous and determined to get on the scoresheet in this match, and so do the crowd as they get behind their players. Mercedini still lead although it certainly isn't as one-sided as expected, 2-0.

21' - (OAM 0-3 MRC) - It might seem harsh on the home side, but Mercedini have netted a third goal in this game with just over twenty minutes on the clock, and the World Cup dream looks to be turning into a nightmare for Oberour, which is a shame. This time, it's Chillotov again with his second of the game, it's been a great campaign for him so far as he wheels away in celebration. This time, Mercedini were made to work on their own without the help of defensive errors or poor clearances. Garzallo overlapped Aznelik down the wing, but the Zoloroni Met winger couldn't have anywhere to go, so he passed inside to Chillotov who was in some space inside the box. The Azoth youngster picked up the ball and swivelled around his marker effortlessly to allow him to advance into the six yard box, which he curled the ball into the far corner for a well taken individual goal. Oberour are certainly not a bad side by any stretch of the imagination, but Mercedini have turned on the style tonight, they lead by three.

24' - (OAM 1-3 MRC) - Aaaah, there we have it! The goal the Oberour have been waiting for, and it was definitely a well take goal from the lowly ranked side. It's Gaspard who gets one back for the home side with a beautifully struck free kick on the edge of the box. Nymark's rush of blood meant his late tackle warranted a yellow card and a free kick concession from Mercedini. Brevalan Gaspard stepped up as the five man wall stood firm, but the deft flick of the Oberour players took it above the wall and into the side of the goal, a beautifully struck goal which is the least that the home side deserve, they have a foothold in this game. 3-1, game on!

31' - (OAM 1-4 MRC) - Just when we thought OAM were getting back into this game, Mercedini look to have shut down the match with a fourth goal, and it's another new name on the board as Ross Presic gets in on the action. This time it was another cross as Garzallo overhit a cross due to the winger being rushed and hassled by his marker. The ball didn't dip enough to allow Dostalok and Chillotov to reach it, but a surprise entrant was blistering into the box to reach the ball. A spectacular diving header had an impressive contact to it, which took it through the sprawling body of the Oberour goalkeeper for a fourth in half an hour. It could be a long night for the home side as Mercedini begin to run away with it already.

40' - (OAM 1-5 MRC) - Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! That caps off Mercedini's first half as they hit five past Oberour Ar Moro, their good run in the group stage looks to be coming to an end in a rather ugly fashion as the Golden Eagles run riot in the Parade Grounds. Credit to the home fans, they are sticking behind their players, many others would be heading for the exit already but they are staying for the duration of the match. It's Chillotov with his hattrick in the first half with what could very well be the goal of the game. Another individual move after the striker was fed through by Toivonen. He found himself in the box before cutting inside and nutmegging the defender, which was rewarded with cheers from the visiting crowd. The youngster then showed off his youthful confidence by chipping the oncoming goalkeeper in a cheeky move. It was a beautiful goal as Chillotov celebrated with his hand over his mouth like he couldn't believe it either. It's turned into a first half rout as Mercedini lead 5-1, record could still yet fall.

45+4' - (OAM 1-5 MRC) - Well, well, well. It's been an interesting first half to say the least. We've seen six goals in the first half with Ben Chillotov making a name for himself as he nets a first half hattrick to put his team four to the good with forty five minutes still to play. Oberour have given good performances and have looked promising for vas swathes of the match, but Mercedini do have that extra gear, which you could put that down to experience or just raw talent. It will be interesting to see how each team will come out following this revelation. At half-time it's Oberour Ar Moto 1, Mercedini 5.

HALF TIME
Oberour Ar Moro 1 - 5 Mercedini
Gaspard 24' • Dostalok 3', Chillotov 7', 21', 40', Presic 31'

Welcome back to Regium in Oberour Ar Moro, where Mercedini have taken the home side by storm in the first half in their third match of qualification for the 81st World Cup hosted by Banija and the Free Republics. The Golden Eagles have a massive lead through a Chillotov hattrick plus extra credit from Presic and Dostalok to put them up by four at the break, and it's stirring up to be an interesting final forty five minutes of the game with OAM chasing such a massive deficit. This could be the spark which ignites the chances of the Golden Eagles throughout the qualification cycle, with a statement of intent from Zoloroni to the rest of the multiverse. The teams are coming out of the tunnel to cheers from the crowds around the stadium, the second half should be upon us shortly at the Parade Grounds in Regium.

48' - (OAM 1-5 MRC) - OAM have started this match much better with those five substitutions they have made at half time in a radical change of personnel (which isn't normally allowed under the regular World Cup tournament rules). They have taken the pressure well in this opening coupled of minutes, with the largest amount of pressure coming from the home fans who seemed most displeased with that opening half performance, a chorus of boos ring around the stadium, putting a rather sour taste in the mouths of myself and surely the visiting team and fans. They have not played badly in this match, I stress again, but obviously this crowd expects great things from this new team. It remains 5-1. Presic OFF, Markus ON

56' - (OAM 1-5 MRC) - If the match wasn't already over, OAM's fightback may have just ended with a second bookable offence to reduce the home side down to ten men, or... ten people. It's Bonne-li-Donne who has been given their marching orders by the referee as he bundles into Johnny Markus in a rush of blood from the OAM player which looks to have injured the midfielder in his first start to qualification, he doesn't look like he will continue as his teammates surround him to check if he is okay. Donne is walking down the tunnel after only being one from just over ten minutes, an early shower is in store for them. Mercedini should cruise to a victory, it remains 5-1 with the Golden Eagles now a man to the good in addition. Markus OFF, Vorthik ON

63' - (OAM 1-6 MRC) - A new name gets on the score sheet as Mercedini make the man advantage count, this time it's Johannes Nymark who gets puts the ball into the net following a defensive error for his first and Dini's sixth of the night and are threatening to turn it into a cricket score with still about half an hour remaining. Nymark was pressuring the defenders as they passed around the back, and Clenge was the unlucky victim this time as an errant touch took it away from the Moro player which allowed Nymark to take advantage. The Zoloroni City midfielder didn't need anyone as he slotted coolly into the bottom corner. Hardly any celebration from the players as they know the battle is won. 6-1, there could be a record set at this rate. Catessic OFF, Di Sansev ON

69' - (OAM 2-6 MRC) - Goal! Oberour have a goal back with twenty minutes to with a well rehersed move to give themselves a consolation goal, but it looks to be nothing more at the moment. Ruran l'Emrite adds to he account in the sixty-ninth minute of the game which a storming move. A scything long ball forward found it's was to l'Emrite on the right hand side of he pitch, with Nycollas Mauranghas in attendance to tempt Di Sansev away from the striker. That brilliant move allowed l'Emrite free on goal, and they made no mistake as they cracked a shot past Hovek and into the side netting for their second of the game. With the chances they have been presented, they have been clinical, although the visitors have been frugal with the chances they have offered. It's 6-2, with twenty minutes still to play in this match, the fans have got great value for their ticket price.

75' - (OAM 2-7 MRC) - Big celebrations from Mercedinian team as Thomas Vorthik nets his first ever goal for the Mercedinian national team. The Langtree United striker lifts Mercedini into seventh heaven with a headed goal fifteen minutes before time. Crasic was making a hassle of himself on the left wing and managed to send in another cross on the far side, Vorthik was there (out of position to take up a striking role instead of his assigned right-mid position) and he flicked on the looping cross at the near post to deceive the glove of the substitute goalkeeper to go in off the far post. It shouldn't warrant a celebration but a maiden goal is always something to savour, it's not 7-2.

78' - (OAM 2-8 MRC) - Two records are broken in one fell swoop as Mercedini score an eighth on the night (beating numerous seven goal hauls in previous campaigns) and tenth in the match in total (overcoming a number of 7-2 victories, a 6-3 win against Yttribia way back when and a 5-4 loss against Nephara a handful of cycles ago). Its Crasic who scores the double record breaking goal from a corner. It was sent in by Vorthik but was originally cleared by the OAM defence, but Crasic was lurking outside the box to fire in a second shot. It took a deflection from one of the bodies in the box, wrong footed the goalkeeper and trickled into the net for his first and Mercedini's eighth of the match. That makes seventeen for the campaign from three matches as the Golden Eagles go clear at the top of the 'top-scorers' rankings. Eight, eight! We haven't seen anything like this before.

86' - (OAM 2-8 MRC) - We nearly had an eleventh goal of the game in spectacular fashion as young striker Nycollas Mauranghas hits the bar from a fierce long range strike which had the goalkeeper beaten on his right hand side. Play had ground to a halt as Mercedini knew they were far and away the winning side in this match, so Mauranghas took it upon himself to get what ever was left of the home crowd sitting up and watching. Space had opened up for the youngster in his first World Cup campaign, so the Spartan took a touch before firing a shot at goal. The ball was visibly moving in the air and Hovek didn't have a clean grasp of the ball as his glove went no where near the ball which was travelling at speed. It beat the goalkeeper but it didn't beat the woodwork as it blasted off the bar and out safely for a goal kick. It would have been a terrific third for the home side, but as time ticks down it remains 8-2.

90+3' - (OAM 2-8 MRC) - There we have it, the referee blows his whistle for the end of what was an entertaining affair in Regium with Mercedini taking all three points from Oberour Ar Moro in rather convincing fashion at the Parade Grounds. Mercedini were simply class on the night against a truly dogged and stubborn Moran team, with the result certainly not reflecting the action on the pitch with Mercedini's clinical edge shining through to net a record amount of goals. A hattrick from Chillotov to add to his brace with added goals from Dostalok, Presic, Nymark, Vorthik and Crasic to some serious gloss to the match which ultimately sealed Mercedini's third win out of three on the qualification stage for the 81st World Cup. It's been a good performance from their team, but it's finishied at the Parade Grounds; Oberour Ar Moro 2, Mercedini 8.

FULL TIME
Oberour Ar Moro 2 - 8 Mercedini
Gaspard 24', l'Emrite 69' • Dostalok 3', Chillotov 7', 21', 40', Presic 31', Nymark 63', Vorthik 75', Crasic 78'

That's it from us, Mercedini are top of the table in qualification and will head to face what could rpove to be a tricky Tobiasia side tomorrow in what will likely become a hard and strenuous for everyone involved. It will likely be a different environment for the lads as they look to overcome the third seeded team to maintain their three point margin from third place and bring home a top two finish as they travel around the multiverse looking for points in corners of regions and faraway lands, to book their place at the next World Cup. As ever, we will give you the run down of all the action including post match interviews and reactions. However, from us here in Regium, goodnight!

[Mattijana]

MFO SPORT

The Statto-Matchday 3

In this week's column, the statto tackles the legendary RL states curse.

RL States is a relatively new phenomenon in the multiverse, but is already raising eyebrows. The internet game, where users shape a fictional country's ideology by making decisions about political and social issues, has little relevence on the face of it, but outside of politics, there are worries about how the server-based world is affecting the game of football. Indeed some suspect that World Cup 81 teams with a RL States nation linked to them have been cursed and are doomed to underachieve at this cycle's tournament.

Based on the well-established laws of logic and mathematics, this is total nonsense. However the modern myth is attracting the attention of many statisticians more experienced than even myself. It is therefore time to prove once and for all whether this mysterious curse is actually real.

Of the 190 teams participating in qualifying for World Cup 81, 12 have an RL States nation practically named after them. These are:

-The Hungarian nation
-Colonial Australia
-West Angola
-Egyptosian
-Britonisea

Whilst this demonstrates a shocking lack of originality from certain internet users, whether this unimaginativeness has resulted in these countries underperforming is another matter. It is important to take into account that all these nations are relatively new to the world cup fold and so have low ranks, therefore we shall take into account not the total points scored, but the current position of the nations relative to their pot number.

Based on the calculations back in my cave, the average position of the 5 teams after matchday 3 is 6.6th, compared to an average pot number and therefore theoretical position of exactly 7th.

Therefore, those nations which should be most strongly affected by the RL States curse are actually performing slightly better than they theoretically should be. This is surely the first step to debunking the myth.


Of course as a serious statistician, one must conduct investigations thoroughly and with as large a sample size of data as possible. Therefore we shall now examine the nations that have a direct link to an area, province or city in the RL States world, of which there are 7. These are:

-South Toronto, a city in 'Canada'.
-Gudalajara, a province in 'Mexico'.
-Brittany Normandy Aquitaine, a collection of provinces in 'France'.
-Unified Hispania, a collection of nations in the region of 'Europe'.
-The Alpine Union, a collection of different nations in 'Europe'.
-St Saratoga, a city in the 'United States of America'.
-Jeruselem, a city disputed between the states of 'Israel' and 'Palestine' in the sort of petty squabble common on the game.

Using the same system, the average pot number of the 7 teams is 5.57, whilst the average matchday 3 position is 5.86. This suggests this set of teams have performed slightly below expectations, but not heavily so and three teams, South Toronto, the Alpine Union and Jeruselem, are all one spot above their predicted position.

Using a chi-squared test, the x value of 0.015, obtained by squaring the difference between average pot and averagen position and dividing the resulting value by the average pot number, would need to be above the critical value of 3.841 to be anything other than fluke. As it is nowhere near this value, the tiny difference is due only to glorious glorious chance. There is no mysterious curse responsible.


Once again, the general non-mathematical community has taken it upon themselves to speculate wildly about something that sounds incredibly romantic, but is actually complete bull's bollocks. Those in the media who are most responsible for spreading these unsubstantiated rumours should be eating humble pie from the oven of shame set as gas-mark egg on your face.