World Cup 81: Roleplay Thread

[Siovanija and Teusland]

STELBURGER ZEITUNG

LATE EDITION -- SPORTS

GOLDHORNS OPEN QUALIFIERS WITH WIN

STELBURG -- Siovanija and Teusland’s national football team kicked off the World Cup 81 Qualification campaign with a solid 3-0 win over Altai Almas.

Fans flocked to the Nationalstadion for the game, but some were quite nervous before kickoff. “We’ve not exactly been in the best of form recently, but this is the perfect time to correct ourselves,” commented fan Dimitri Ivankov. “I think we’ll win today, it’ll be a tough match but I believe we’re ready to start out strong,” was the view of Michael Strauss, another fan outside the stadium before the match.

Alan Dzekov had to answer several tough questions in the build-up to the game, thanks to the Goldhorns’ poor performances in friendlies before the World Cup. The national team took on first Apox, and then World Cup 81 co-hosts Free Republics. Both are teams ranked higher than the Goldhorns, and no-one was really expecting victories in either match. However, the opportunity to play highly-regarded teams always offers chances to improve, and that was the main goal. Siovanija and Teusland performed quite poorly in each friendly, however, losing 1-0 to Apox at the Celebratory Stadium, while the match against the Free Republics was lost 3-0 at the Coconut Coliseum. Making matters worse, tabloids reported that some members of the Goldhorns’ squad had been enjoying the Falatuluan party lifestyle the night before the heavy defeat. Dzekov mainly focused on the fact that while the friendlies had not gone as planned, the team was refocused and prepared for the opening qualifier.

Siovanija and Teusland lined up in the 4-3-3 formation, with Viktor Venev taking the start in net. At the back, Lyubomir Dimitrov came into the team at left back, while Raphael Klopfer and Nikola Karapetrov were the two centre halves. Lutz Daschner took the number 2 shirt as starting right back. The midfield trio of Vladimir Kostov, Viktor Dimitrov and Thorsten Kramer returned, that grouping being the national team’s best performers in the friendly matches. Kostov sits deeper, while Dimitrov and Kramer are more willing to push forwards and attack. Up front, Ivo Romanov and Paulus Leistner flanked Krasimir Kynev at centre forward. Lutz Daschner captained the side on the day.

Anthems sung, whistle blown, the eagerly-anticipated kick-off set the World Cup 81 Qualifiers off. The match started at a high pace, with Siovanija and Teusland taking control of the game early. Altai Almas was able to create some dangerous chances on the counter, but the flow of the game was with the Goldhorns. An early chance came off the boot of Thorsten Kramer. Kramer beat his man outside the box, then played a quick one-two with Krasimir Kynev. Kramer’s shot, however, was just wide of the target, leaving him quite disappointed.

As the first half wore on, the Goldhorns came closer and closer to scoring but could not find the back of the net. Paulus Leistner worked his way towards the box, and was trying to find a way to get the ball to Kynev. Before he could finish off the pass, however, he was hauled down by a tackle from one of the Altai Almas centre backs. A foul was called, and a free kick awarded in a very favourable area of the pitch. Thorsten Kramer and Viktor Dimitrov hovered over the ball, debating exactly how to approach the opportunity. Finally, Dimitrov stepped aside and allowed Kramer the chance. He fired in a shot that beat the Altai Almas keeper in the top left corner, giving Siovanija and Teusland a 1-0 lead thanks to the wonderful goal.

In the second half, the Goldhorns looked to build on their advantage and stay in control of the match. Altai Almas did have a 5 minute stretch early in the second half that made it seem as if they would threaten a comeback, however those hopes faded fast. Siovanija and Teusland remained on top of the match, and another breakthrough would come. Lyubomir Dimitrov rushed down the wing, before playing it forward for Ivo Romanov. Romanov whipped in a cross that found the head of Krasimir Kynev, and the Olympia Borograd forward directed it perfectly into goal. 2-0 to the Goldhorns, and the game now seemed to be drawing towards its conclusion.

A few substitutions followed for the Goldhorns. Leo Heiden was brought on for Ivo Romanov to make his international debut, earning applause from the Nationalstadion crowd. Evgeni Antonov entered the match in place of Thorsten Kramer, while Thorsten Helmke was a late addition in place of Lutz Daschner. One further goal came for Siovanija and Teusland. Evgeni Antonov moved the ball out to Heiden on the right wing, who cut towards the box and fired a shot. It was blocked by a defender in front, however, and fell to Krasimir Kynev in the box. Kynev turned, beat his man, then fired a shot past the keeper for his second of the match and a 3-0 scoreline and victory for Siovanija and Teusland.

“It’s the perfect way to start our campaign, and I think we’re all proud of that performance. Now we want to improve on that for our next match, and move forwards,” commented Thorsten Kramer after the game. The 3-0 win sees the Goldhorns top of Group 14 after the first matchday. Other results in the group included Sargossa defeating Main Nation Ministry 2-0, and a shock win for Sangti 2-1 over Kita-Hinode.

The next matchday of World Cup Qualifying sees the Goldhorns welcome 21st in the world Sargossa to the Nationalstadion. It will be a very difficult match, but anything can happen as already seen on matchday 1. The Stelburger Zeitung will be here each step of the way, covering Siovanija and Teusland’s World Cup Qualification journey.

Siovanija and Teusland 3-0 Altai Almas

Siovanija and Teusland XI (4-3-3): Venev; L. Dimitrov, Klopfer, Karapetrov, Daschner (Helmke 86’); Kostov, Kramer (Antonov 74’), V. Dimitrov; Leistner, Romanov (Heiden 68’), Kynev
Goals: Thorsten Kramer 43’, Krasimir Kynev 62’, 88’
Match Notes: Siovanija and Teusland opened up World Cup Qualifiers with a strong home win over Altai Almas, Krasimir Kynev earning a brace for his efforts. The pick of the goals was Thorsten Kramer’s first half free kick that sent the Goldhorns on their way.

[The Sherpa Empire]

‭

----֎-֎-֎----

‭Before the first game of the World Cup qualifiers, a concert was held at Bank of Bhutan Stadium to honor the people who were killed or kidnapped in last year's conflict with the Taliban. Over the course of several months, Taliban fighters skirmished with Sherpa forces along the Empire's western borders and perpetrated a series of high-profile kidnappings -- including star football player Jigme Sherpa, who was tragically killed during the fighting when a government shaman and an angry Tibetan dragon attempted to rescue him. (The Taliban fighters that were holding him hostage are also believed to be dead, though it's hard to be sure... No bodies were recovered, reportedly because they were eaten by the dragon.)

‭Although the kidnappings have stopped and the security situation along the border has improved, football players and fans are still reeling. So the Sports Department organized a tribute concert. There was a wide range of tributes with everything from traditional Buddhist chants to middle-aged 300 lb rapper Phat Karma shimmying around the stage and busting rhymes. Despite his age and weight, Phat Karma put on a surprisingly good show, still rapping with the same passion and energy as when he originally broke onto the scene 20 years ago.

‭The visiting team for game one was North Prarie, a nation mostly known to Sherpa sports fans for recruiting Sherpa baseball players to join Prariean teams. The national football team was able to get a decent amount of video footage for scouting purposes, to get a feel for the Prarieans' style of play, but a lot of fans came to the game not sure what to expect. Stadium security was not pleased with a visiting Prariean fan that tried to bring a smoke bomb into the stadium, but for the most part, people came to the game feeling good. They were expecting a challenging game, but not an unwinnable one and not one that was likely to turn nasty. They wanted to beat Prarie, but they didn't have any ill-will toward the Prarieans beyond wanting to beat them.

‭They almost managed it too. They were up 4 to 3, but then Bradley Francis put a shot in the corner of the Sherpa goal and Lotsawa tried to block it with something that looked more like Phat Karma's dance moves than a play by a professional goalie. He was too slow and the goal scored, making the final score a 4 to 4 tie.

‭

----֎-֎-֎----

Like their country of origin, little is known of the squad itself. They are said to live and train at high altitude, an additional challenge for Mattijana on their away visit, but at sea level in Weststrand, they should pose much less of a problem.

OOC: Lucky for your team ICly, they're visiting the Sherpa Empire in the first half, when our home games are being held in Phuntsholing. It's only 960 ft above sea level. Elevation can vary a lot between different cities within the Empire.

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

The Tale of the Fluffy Bunnies and the World Cup Final

The Fluffy Bunnies were ever so sad.

They had given it everything they had in the final of World Cup 80, only for Snuggles to hit the post with his penalty, which meant that the mean and smelly Brenecians - who for some reason hadn't realised it was their duty to lose the final to the Fluffy Bunnies - had won the World Cup.

Snuggles' ears and whiskers had drooped, and tears began to well up in his eyes, but all the other Fluffy Bunnies gave him hugs and cuddles.

"Don't be sad, Snuggles" said Whiskers. "We're all in this together. We're a bunny team!"

And then kindly Mr Tzimisces and Mr Di Bradini came over and gave all the bunnies - but most especially Snuggles - manly and encouraging patriarchal pats on the back. "You fought hard and gave it your best" said Mr Tzimisces "and at the end of the day that's what really matters."

Secretly the Fluffy Bunnies disagreed. Winning is what really matters; preferably accompanied by humiliating the enemy, turning their skulls into jewel-encrusted drinking cups, and feasting on the roast flesh of their children. But they knew that Mr Tzimisces meant well, so they nodded their cute little bunny heads, dried their big brown bunny eyes, and went hippity-hop back into the dressing room.

And goodness gracious me, boys and girls, what a surprise they had there!

It was the Dread Lords Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cottontail! They had been watching the match in person!

"Rejoice, bunnies!" said Flopsy.

"You have done us proud!" said Mopsy.

"You had never played international football before, and look at you - World Cup runners up!" said Cottontail.

"But we ever-so-much wanted to win" said Wiggles.

"Winning is best" said Snowball.

"Preferably accompanied by humiliating the..." said Twitch, before Flopsy cut him off.

"And had you won, the entire multiverse would have been enslaved to our dark plans for economic imperialism" said Flopsy.

"Which, in retrospect perhaps wasn't the brightest idea we've ever had" said Mopsy.

"Empires that over-extend inevitably go through periods of chaos and anarchy as their ability to govern their core territories effectively comes under strain" said Cottontail.

Well, the Fluffy Bunnies all scratched their cute little bunny heads in confusion. These were not concepts they had had to worry about before. They liked munching on carrots, and buttercups, and daisies; they liked looking super-cute; and they liked leading the invincible bunny Legions of Doom towards ever-greater conquests; but the impact of economic imperialism on potential over-extension? This was all very new, boys and girls.

"Don't worry about it" said Flopsy, who had noticed that Mr Tzimisces was nodding his head sagely.

"Hurrah!" shouted all the Fluffy Bunnies, who were not so secretly relieved.

"Instead we'll share the good news" said Mopsy.

"Hurrah!" shouted all the Fluffy Bunnies, who always liked hearing good news.

"We're going to enter you into World Cup 81, where you can see how well you do without advancing dark plans for economic domination of the multiverse"

"HURRAH!" shouted all the Fluffy Bunnies, who started hopping and jumping and hugging out of excitement. "We do so like the World Cup!" they all declared at once.

So they spent the next few months preparing super hard for World Cup 81, with kindly Mr Tzimisces and Mr Di Bradini putting them through their paces day after day after day.

And you know what, boys and girls?

All that hard work paid off! Because in their first World Cup 81 qualifier they defeated Filindostan 4-2; and this was just the start of an ever so great adventure....

Hippity-hop, hippity-hop, into the burrow.

[Michine]

Denis Lapine (denis6718) Goalkeeper for AS Locomotive and Michine. Satellite engineer, sports geek, and amateur anthropologist. Trying to get better at blogging in English.

Pre-Valladares thoughts

(very quick because we're still travelling home - long story)

> Nobody in Michine knows anything about Valladares, unfortunately. They've been very silent throughout the buildup and there is no video of their defeat to Turori (yet). I had to look them up and we're drawn against them...

> I am not a fan of this sort of needlessly monochrome bullshit. (I do love the socks though !)

> Also things I am not a fan of at this present time; the UMF. Why are we playing our qualifying games in a stadium where journalists fill up all the seats before any actual Michinien fans can get in ?

> Alex Aïvtchenko is the worst person in the world to defend penalties against. He just knows exactly where the crossbar and the stanchion are and what the limits of human flexibility are, and if he does travel abroad as I know he wants to, whoever he plays for should just put him on penalties straight away.

[Oberour Ar Moro]

Daric de l'Amie, Andreit Jugleeur, Kerrien Goncourt met in a conference room at the Ministry of Culture. It was morning, so the Ministry very generously had provided breakfast. They were snacking on bread with marmalade and cherry preserves. de l'Amie and Goncourt were drinking coffee while Jugleeur was on his third glass of orange juice.

The goal of the breakfast meeting was to begin preperations for their game against Rannoria. There were small binders at each seat prepared by Daric de l'Amie.

"Their leading scorer is Susanto Kader, he's their right winger" explained de l'Amie. "Three goals so far. He's the brother of the King of Rannoria."

"So: Prince Sustano?" asked Jugleeur, leaning over the table to get the pitcher of orange juice.

"Apparantly just Sustano Kader."

Goncourt was stretching in front of the window with the binder in his hand. "No one is just," emphasis on the just "the brother."

Jugleeur nodded slightly, then took a sip of orange juice. "But he's not the captain, right?"

de l'Amie looked down at his notes. "Right, that's..." he double-checked "...Karsten Sawar. A center midfielder."

Jugleeur looked down at his book, holding the page "Wonder how that works out? A captain over a member of royalty."

Goncourt, the only one at the table who had actually played the game, grabbed his seat and turned it around so he could sit back down. "Probably not well. Who else should we be looking out for."

"Well, there's Laki Gontayy and Susi'anak Gontayy. Brother Midfielders," responded de l'Amie.

"Oh, they have that sibling mind-connecting thing?" Jugleeur illustrated his question by pinting his fingers at his forehead and then waving them forward and back.

"So they say. Do you have a sibling that you have the, uh, mind-connecting thing with?" de l'Amie asked Jugleeur, imitating the mind connection finger illustration.

"Two older sisters. I think they had more connections to horses than they did to me. What about you Kerrien?" Judleeur turned his chair to look at Goncourt.

"Nope. I thought that mind-connection was reserved for twins anyways" he responded, putting down the knife he was using to spread jam on a piece of bread.

"There's also a 17 year old, Kola Agung." de l'Amie got back on topic, turning a page in his binder. "He's a back-up center attacking midfielder. He was really good against Tarper in the Baptism of Fire, came off the bench and looked just electric."

"Seventeen!" Jugleeur shook his head, impressed. "Man."

Kerrien Goncourt piped up with his mouth full. "What about their goalkeeper?"

"The goalkeeper is Karsak Malak. They let him go upfield and score a goal against Tarper. This was while they were up 2-1." de l'Amie sounded a little awed by the sheer audacity of it.

"The goal keeper?" Goncourt choked down his bread, then looked back and forth to both of his fellow coaches. "Do you think Sainctvictori would like to try his luck like that?"

Everyone laughed, then de l'Amie spoke up again. "Probably not. Then against Mercedini, Malak took the ball and practically handed it to a Mercedini striker. There's opportunity to take advatage of him."

de l'Amie backed his chair up and stood up, starting to walk around the conference table.

"Rannoria - have publically - that this game was circled on their calendar. They're a low-ranked team, though they only lost in the Baptism of Fire to the third-place team. But they figure that we're a team they can beat. And we're travelling. Remember Sharktail?"

The friendly against Sharktail. All three remembered Sharktail.

"We need to be better prepared, not just to play the game. But to travel, and compete in other nations. We can win two games out of two!"

"I'm just glad we got to one, after those friendlies," Goncourt interjected. de l'Amie sighed.

"Yeah." de l'Amie circled back to his seat. "So am I. So let's talk game plan."

[Nephara]

Nephara 1 - 0 Eshan
(4-2-3-1) 12 - Swoboda; 2 - Rafford, 5 - Konoval, 22 - Steelhenge, 3 - Lohengrin (19 - Vicelich 71'); 4 - Rowland, 8 - Klein (15 - Rosenthal 78'); 7 - Fanaiyan, 21 - Gosforth (c, 14 - Moxham 56'), 11 - Strongbow; 9 - Hawke
Goal: Konoval 25'

Dieter Konoval was old school personified. And that was a reputation earned in Nephara, where the old school was the only school there was. He'd gone through his career the right way, coming up through the ranks at Chatswood, quickly making himself indispensable as a solid, reliable, blue-collar professional, before earning the big paycheck to Mozi and staying there for what was now close to a decade. Unpretentious and taciturn, he fit right in in Audioslavia. Off the pitch, Konoval had close to no social media presence - he focused his attentions on working with deprived communities - ones like the fog-choked borough of west Treason he'd come up from - and otherwise kept reclusive. Maybe that's why he was rarely considered on a level with the classic Nepharim great defenders - leaders like Hadrian Belfast and Lukas Strongnesse, renegades like Catheline Stockinger, genuine brutes like Malachite Scharner.
Sure as hell deserved to be there on merit, though, and nights like tonight were where he proved it.
The goal was the least impressive thing of all of them, really. Was a brilliant delivery from Gosforth, coming back from the injury that cut his CR short, and up came Konoval two guys, crashing through like a bowling ball through pins, putting his head through it like every good Nepharim child got taught by their fathers and hammering it past a stranded Gautier. Yeah, that had been good, sure. Only the fourth goal of his international career, and at a pretty damn good time for it. It had been the deserved reward for Nephara's early dominance, coming at Eshan with the pressure high and no quarter given. Gautier had already saved sharply twice from Hawke, Strongbow had missed a presentable chance, and Klein had rattled a strike against the crossbar.

But the pace wasn't sustainable. They had to ease off a little, sit back, as Michael Brandon watched from the touchline. Gosforth was his voice in the attack, striding around with authority and making his presence felt, at the centre of every attack, while Konoval was commanding at the back with a quiet authority. Dragora Steelhenge had tried to give him a high-five, and he'd blanked her, growling that the hard work started now.
The hard work did start now. Konoval and Steelhenge, who was still young and a little coltish and feverish, stood firm under the pressure, secure in the knowledge that anything from distance would be handled by the steady Andreas Swoboda. Now it wasn't about the tackles Konoval made as the ones he hadn't - he was always willing to put his studs through a man if he had to, but he'd sooner just be standing in the right place at the right time, giving his man no choice but to run into him. Robby Stanford was at the spearhead, and he was a sharp operator, a cool finisher, well-proven in the Premiership... but with Steelhenge moving in harmonious lockstep, there would be no way past tonight. Not on the ground, even less in the air - it was clear by the end of the first half that crosses were pointless. Worse than pointless, given Swoboda's knack for quickly lamping the ball down the flanks, and when Strongbow or Fanaiyan could really get running...
But things started to open in the second half, as they often did. Fresh legs were injected on both sides, and Gosforth was forced to limp off somewhat gingerly - a precaution, ultimately nothing, and Chimera Moxham contributed more pace in the hole anyway. Vicelich replaced the tiring Lohengrin, but would endure a tentative twenty minutes, quickly chalking up a booking. And then... her man raced past her, and the thought process was clear on her face- clip him, oh wait, no, shit - and by then the cross or centre or cutback was already arrowing in, Stanford slowing his run to take it in stride before putting his foot through it and Dieter Konoval took that shot right in the goddamn crown jewels.
86 thousand people, damn close to capacity, and damn close to 1% of Nephara's population, winced.
Steelhenge reacted quickest to hoof the ball away, out to touch, then rested a sympathetic hand on Konoval's shoulder. The Mozi man took a deep breath, lowered himself into a squat, kept himself composed...
... and then, you know what? He just stood right back up and kept on with the game. Konoval's head had sorted out the goal, the only goal of the game, and with that three vital points against their closest rivals.
But it sure as hell wasn't the part that passed into legend.

[Beepee]

Match day 2 preview

Arriving at Estádio de Alvalade, Lisboa, the Beepeean squad undertook some light training ahead of the match with hosts New Lusitania.

The squad came through training without casualty, and Coach Friberg will maintain the first choice team and formation which saw a narrow victory over Michine.

Beepee have never faced their opponents before, however the scouts were watching as the New Lusitania team ran riot over the Central Shaneville side easily in Matchday 1. Beepee will be hoping to perform well against the higher ranked side.

The Beepeean defence will likely need to perform more solidly than in their previous match.

27 year old, central defender Jason Baker who is easily spotted within the Beepee defence due to his bald head is likely to be influential in the coming match. Baker often directs the defence and is a sound tactician coupled with strong positioning skills. This allows him to frustrate opposition players during set pieces.

The Beepee Player of the Match, an award chosen by the bulldozer fans, has been awarded for Matchday 1. With an average score of 6.7 out of 10, double goal scorer Sam Veera was awarded the honour.

[Geisenfried]

As world turns eyes to Banija, refugee questions remain
Shadow of the aftermath of Banija's war looms large over the upcoming World Cup

PERULUKE - While the football World Cup remains the world's most prestigious sporting tournament, here in the outskirts of the city of Peruluke - on the western border of Geisenfried, just across the Kanün river from Banija - such dreams of glory and recognition seem to pale in comparison to trying to piece back together life in the aftermath of the war in Banija. Home to the largest refugee camp in the country, the end of the humanitarian crisis and the return of peace after the downfall of the Mutebi administration have brought some relief to these Banijan exiles, but with the war over the question remains of how the bulk of these refugees - and indeed, the country and region itself - will return to 'normalcy'.

Though a humanitarian crisis had been brewing even before the outbreak of open warfare, the consequences of the Mutebi administration's ill-fated decision making led to both the separation of the Busoga Islands from the Banijan mainland and the brief and decisive invasion of the country by the Equestrian States and Baker Park. The erupting of that conflict sent hundreds of thousands of Banijans to seek shelter from the war by crossing the Kanün river, hoping for the protection and goodwill of the Geisen government. While the country's ever present stance of neutrality precluded any formal involvement in the conflict, nevertheless, both local and federal Geisen governments have been receptive to relieving the humanitarian crisis caused by the war and have been generous in providing aid. With the war ended and Mutebi ousted, there has since been a steady trickle of Banijans headed back across the river to their homeland, but there remains a significant percentage that have increasingly been seeking to stay under the more stable wing of Geisenfried, leading to questions of how this massive influx of people could be integrated into the country.

As Banija's eastern neighbor, immigration between the two countries is far from unheard of - the largest expatriate community of Banijans lie in Geisenfried, especially throughout Kövren, the southwestern region of Geisenfried most easily accessible to simple travel from Banija. Indeed, Mutebi's nativist outcry against the so-called "brain drain" of Banija and the betrayal of Banijan emigrant communities led to sizable protests both in Peruluke and the regional capital of Kapetägien, among others. Still, even with the sizable community already present, current government estimates of the number of refugees that crossed over the border anywhere to likely to be somewhere in the range of between half to just over a million Banijans, and while not all or even most may decide to stay in Geisenfried, even a fraction of that number would be a significant wave of immigration, and there have been a raising of concerns on just how this large of an assimilation might actually work.

The awarding of the World Cup to Banija by the international community seems to be a step looking to recognize the rebuilding efforts within Banija and has led to an influx of foreign money and infrastructural investment. Indeed, Geisenfried itself is no stranger to the benefits of what hosting the World Cup can bring - the next edition of the cup will be the 50th anniversary from Geisenfried's hosting with Milchama, the neighbors on the opposite side of the country. But given the massive amount of resources required to take care of the refugee crisis, some have called into question the dedication of so much money, time and effort into a sporting event given the real problems faced by the wartorn population. As the event draws closer and the eyes of the world turn to Banija, will the country be able to showcase a reborn spirit and government and be able to use the World Cup as a springboard into prosperity, or will the money only just temporarily plaster over unresolved problems and leave Geisenfried's western neighbor mired in the a swamp of false progress that disappears the moment the tourney ends? For now only time, it seems, will tell.

Geisen national team welcomed back to World Cup qualifying with Pasargan pounding
Steinadler struggle mightily against top ranked team in return attempt

HEIMÜLLER - While the road from Geisenfried to Banija may be the shortest of any country, the road to claim a World Cup qualifying position in either Banija or the Free Republics after opening qualifying matches looks to be as long as ever after 11th ranked Pasarga wandered into Heimüller Küstenkolosseum and promptly showed how large a gap exists between the Geisenfried of today and much fondly remembered Geisenfried team of yesteryear. While Geisenfried's struggles in the Equestrian States during AOCAF LVI suggested that there was substantial room for improvement for the young team heading into the World Cup qualifying stage, Pasarga's systematic dismantlement of the Steinadler puts in stark relief just how far this team has to go to return to the world stage once more.

From the outset, the contrast in team capabilities was stark. The veteran captain of Pasarga, Ingþór Auðbjörnsson, took less than a dozen minutes to hammer home a line drive shot just under the crossbar to provide the initial score, as the Wanderers' offense seemed to effortlessly cut through the Steinadler defense time and time again. Another dozen minutes later, Jörg Feierabend was able to make a run up from midfield to push the ball into the corner of the Geisen net to double the score, and just a touch after the half-hour mark Auðbjörnsson had struck again to put an insurmountable 3-goal lead on the home team, who only just managed to keep themselves from reeling further and giving up any more before the halftime whistle.

Though even after the turn the Steinadler defense continued to struggle to hold, with Pasargan striker Alexander Kárpáty adding a fourth goal to the tally ten minutes after returning to the field from the break, the Geisen offense started to finally show signs of life in the second half, as Rudi Löwenthal managed to hit the inside of the frame from the opposite side of the box just past the hour mark to finally give the home crowd something to cheer about. The feeling wasn't particularly long lived - after play resumed the Wanderers methodically built up an attack that eventually saw Orsolya Gere push the ball past Jonas Wieser to make it 5-1. With victory all but secure, Pasarga would bring in some of its young guns on to see what they could do - Alexander Jager obliged in trying to make a name for himself by flicking on a ball to increase the lead to five. Poor play defending the counter and perhaps some lazy overconfidence would allow his counterpart Mariusz Jaeger to get his first goal on the national team and help the Steinadler save some face with just five minutes before stoppage time, but the final scoreline left no delusions on who the better team was... and how much this new Geisenfried team needs to go before it can consider itself competitors.

Pasarga 6 - 2 Geisenfried
Auðbjörnsson (11', 32'), Feierabend (24'), Kárpáty (55'), Löwenthal (63'), Gere (67'), Jager (79'), Jaeger (84')

[Mercedini]

81st World Cup Qualification LIVE
Rannoria vs. Mercedini
@ Arena Perla - Franerik, Rannoria

It's back! Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the Arena Perla in Franerik, Rannoria for the start of World Cup Qualification, now in it's 81st edition. The Golden Eagles begin their journey in Rannoria at the Arena Perla for their first match, with many travelling fans hoping they can get their campaign off on the right foot, much like their World Cup 80 campaign which ultimately ended in defeat after beginning with an away win in their opening match. They have been drawn in a semi-strong group with Vilita and Anthor as their main rivals on paper, but others could rear their heads as potential rivals if results end up going their way. Mercedini are now becoming a major scalp at these tournaments with both the Cup of Harmony and Independents Cup under their belts, however Mercedini would want to get back to the promised land for a shot at the big time and for some serious KPB points. Two teams face off on opening night in Franik, with it certainly schedules to be a memorable night for one of these teams tonight, it will be interesting to see how the match develops between these two teams at opposite ends of the footballing spectrum.

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0' - Here we go! The teams head out of the tunnel to greet the tens of thousands of people packed into the Arena Perla, with the local crowds hoping to see something special from the home side to kick off their campaign, while the away fans are in their signature black and blue in a small portion at the back of the arena. The big match is certainly capturing the imagination of the locals here, meaning there's plenty of action happening in the stands. The home fans are up for it, the away fans are ready to watch their team back on the trail, and the press are ready for. Mercedini are back to their full strength squad after resting some players before the World Cup calendar began. Chollotov and Dostalok are the ones to watch for the Golden Eagles as they both did not participate in their domestic league due to the suspension and dissolution of the league, they start with full fitness from the front. Meanwhile in midfield, Garzallo starts at left-mid which will be a big test for the Zoloroni Met youngster, but he does have great support; with Nymark, Kraljic and Presic all accompanying him in midfield. In defence it's the new Goldstaff City acquisition Liam Toivonen with his namesake Dosic with him at centre-back. Aznelik and Catessic make up the full-backs, before Martin Hovek rounds up the Mercedinian roster for a strong side for the opener. Plenty of talent on the pitch for both sides, it's just the matter of who will be left standing once the dust has settled between these two teams in Group 13, unlucky for some.

6' - (RAN 0-0 MRC) - It's important to keep an eye on other matches as an early shot comes in from Susanto Kader for Rannoria, but it's easily collected by Hovek in the Mercedinian goal who rolls it out to Aznelik who can begin another attack. Top ranked Vilita is currently at home against Kernovi for their opening match, while third and fourth ranked Anthor and Tobiasia are playing away from home as well, which could spell fireworks if one of the lower ranked sides punches above their weight. In the match, there has been relatively little chances in the match apart from that tame and opportunistic shot from Kader on the edge of the box. There's plenty of noise going around the stadium, although nothing to really cheer about on either side.

16' - (RAN 0-0 MRC) - First big chance of the game and it's fallen to the Mercedinians as Dostalok heads from close range straight into the gloves of Karsak Malak. A chipped in-swinging gall from Garzallo went over the heads of the defence and found it's way to the Handon striker who was in an advanced position on the edge of the six yard box. The ball was just a touch too high as Dostalok leapt to meet the ball, but we couldn't get above the ball and ended up floating the ball into the safe clutches of Kalak. The Mercedinians sensed a goal but small margins proved to be the let off for Rannoria. Still goalless after a quarter of an hour but both teams have had shots on goal at this point, there's plenty of distance still to travel in the Arena Perla for the time being, a goal looks inevitable in this match from the look of the opening fifteen minutes.

19' - (RAN 0-0 MRC) - Wow, now it's Rannoria's turn to go close in this match! It was Kader once again as he announces himself as the danger man to the opposition. Rannoria were on a good run of possession with a Karsten Sawar unlocking the defence with a low pass to Kader who made a run into the box. He was held up by Catessic and was looking for a pass to make to set up a golden chance, however the Soldarian FC defender held up the Rannorian striker very well. Kader was forced to go on his own and showed his technical ability by shuffling to his right and allowing space to let out a shot on his right foot. He did narrow the angle for himself but let out a thunderbolt towards the near post which needed a strong hand from Hovek to deflect it into the side netting. Replays showed that it looked to be going into the far post and could have well gone in, but Hovek did his duty and then collected the subsequent corner well. After all of that, the danger was averted and no damage was caused.

27' - (RAN 0-0 MRC) - Mercedini have slowed down the play after than frantic piece of play about seven or eight minutes ago, with the Rannorian crowd now louder than ever as they begin to sense an upset in Franik tonight. However, Lyndainium is out there in his technical area barking at his players to keep possession and halt the Rannorian advancements up field, which is prompting boos and jeers from the fans in the stands next to them. The Golden Eagles are staying professional in their hunt for an opening win which looms promising, but it's been a long opening half an hour for both teams. There's still a good hour to go before the end of the match. Chillotov and Dostalok have been fairly isolated up top and have been forced back to interact with the play in midfield, not great if you're a Mercedinian fan but great for the home side and it's fans. About twenty minutes to go in the first half and it's still goalless.

34' - (RAN 0-0 MRC) - The play is becoming extremely few and far between as Mercedini tactically grind the game to a halt, prompting some of the fans to become disinterested with the game to check up on the other matches in the group, with a small stir going around the stadium as news gets round of some of the score lines. The same score lines which are embargoed until the end of the match as per World Cup convention. Garzallo and Kraljic have lined up very well in this match as they are the main driving force down the left-wing, with Chillotov obviously sensing that to form a strong trio with the midfield pairing. Still goalless, which is fairly disappointing from a Mercedinian point of view but Rannoria was holding out well in their maiden qualifier against a nation ranked much higher then them.

40' - (RAN 0-1 MRC) - GOAL! Mercedini take the lead in Arena Perla with Ben Chillotov scoring the first Mercedinian goal of qualifying with fourty minutes on the clock for the team in blue and black. It was a well worked move that ended in a emphatic finish as the Mercedinians celebrate between themselves in front of the Rannorian fans in the far corner, it's been a long time coming but they have deserved it over the course of the game. Mercedini broke forward after Aznelik gained possession and quickly released Garzallo down the wing. The winger darted down the line only to held up at the side by the Rannorian defence. The Zoloroni Met winger thought on his feet to cut inside and whip in a deep cross towards the far post. It was slightly over hit as Malak went to claim the ball, but he missed and allowed Dostalok (who was standing on the by-line at the time) to head the ball back into open play and towards the penalty spot. The ball only needed to bounce once before an arriving Chillotov lashed the ball into the net on the half-volley. A well worked move to open the scoring in Franik. The 1860 Azoth player has salvaged a forgettable first half for the Mercedinians, 1-0!

45' - (RAN 0-1 MRC) - ...and there we have it! Mercedini go into the first half holding a slender lead thanks to Chillotov's half volley goals which was sculpted and crafted by Garzallo and Dostalok. It's been a rather strange first half with Mercedini and Rannoria having plenty of chances in the first twenty minutes or so, only for the higher ranked side to slow the game to a halt and then cropping up to score the only goal of the game so far. It's tight margins so far but Mercedini lead at the Arena Perla by one goal to nil. We will be back after this short break.

HALF TIME
Rannoria 0 - 1 Mercedini
Chillotov 40'

Welcome back to Franik in Rannoria, where Mercedini are embroiled in a tight affair against the home side in their first match in qualification for the 81st World Cup hosted by Banija and the Free Republics. The Golden Eagles have the lead through a Chillotov strike towards the end of the first half, and it's stirring up to be an interesting final forty five minutes of the opening game, before Mercedini can finally hone in on their targets and head home to the Sports City Stadium for their second match. I've hearing unconfirmed reports that Vilita are cruising their way to a victory while Anthor and Tobiasia are not having it their own way thus far. We will have all of the action once the full time whistles are blown, but the teams are coming out of the tunnel to cheers from the crowds around the stadium. The second half should be upon us shortly.

51' - (RAN 0-1 MRC) - Play has restarted and it's Mercedini who are kicking off this second half with style and flair as they go for a second goal which could very well kill the game from a Rannorian perspective. The home side are defending quite well thus far, however Mercedini so have that ace card up their sleeve in the form of that goal earlier in the game, which means Rannoria need to get up to the other end of the field in order to register any point of their own. Presic and Dostalok are hooking up well down the right wing, although the road block of the Rannorian back four mean they have had to pass back on multiple occasions to find a way out. Mercedini are beginning to add gas to the spark they caused in the first half, although they haven't lit this match up just yet.

60' - (RAN 0-2 MRC) - GOAL! and that could be the goal which kills off the game from a Rannorian perspective it's Adam Kraljic from midfield who heads in from a corner. It all started with Garzallo being pinched in the corner after a break away move from the Golden Eagles, with the Zoloroni Met winger forcing the corner by practically kicking the ball into his opponent and out for a corner. There, the box was rammed with players as Presic sent the ball into the back post. It looked to be a close copy of the first goal with Dosic rising highest to head the ball from the far post back towards the middle of the goal, and Kraljic was there to prod home from a yard out. Mercedini celebrating in front of their own fans this evening, it has been a good night if the score line ends like this. Rannoria have given a good account of themselves but have been undone twice in the opening hour. Mercedini now lead 2-0.

67' - (RAN 0-2 MRC) - Rannoria are beginning to run out of time if they want to get back into this game as Purnama shimmies to his left and curls in a shot, but Hovek gather it well and they lays down to waste a little bit more time. All of the noise are coming from the one corner in the arena and that is the side littered in blue and black, with some of the Rannorian fans visibly deflated after that second goal. Less that half an hour to go in the game with the two teams looking to see the game out on the right note. Looking at other matches in the group, Vilita are strolling to their first win with Anthor and Tobiasia not out of the woods yet, they are being pushed all the way by their lower ranked opponents. Very interesting seeing how all 95 matches play out in their respective groups. Still 2-0 here in Franik

72' - (RAN 0-2 MRC) - Less than twenty minutes in the match as Mercedini attempts to bring the match to a close with some substitutions bought in by Lyndainium to waste some time and to bring some fresh legs onto the pitch to control the play in all areas of the pitch. The Rannorian have come close once again with Kader the man with his finger on the pulse. An opportunistic cross was deflected by Catessic and allowed Kader to scoop up the ball as he entered the box. The Rannorian striker took a single touch before firing low towards he battom corner. The shot beat the goalkeeper but it didn't beat the post as the ball went out of the outside of the post for a goal kick. Fine margins once again, but Mercedini escape with their clean sheet still intact Garzallo OFF, Karlovic ON; Catessic OFF, Di Sansev ON

80' - (RAN 0-2 MRC) - The youngsters that have recently come on are running riot in the Arena Perla and their youthful exuberance is emitted in Rannoria to the delight of the travelling Mercedinian fans. Di Sansev and Karlovic could very well be the future of the national team, and they are putting in good performances in their first outing of World Cup Qualification. The home stands are beginning to empty as the match looks over at this point. Mercedini hogging possession which isn't really great from a neutral point of view and for the highlight reel, but Lyndainium has played his tactics just right for the opening game. The nerves have long since passed with ten minutes left to play in the match

84' - (RAN 0-3 MRC) - Another goal in this match which pretty much wraps up proceedings in this match in favour of the team in blue an black. Rannoria attempted to play the offside trap high up the field to chase a way back into the match, but a Nymark pass allowed Chillotov to streak through on goal with challengers tens of yards behind them, leaving a one on one with the goalkeeper. The Azoth striker backed his own ability to round the goalkeeper on the outside and slot the ball into the net for his second and Mercedini's third of the game. It is certainly harsh on a spirited Rannoria, but they have come up second best in this second half and have been punished for it. 3-0, the battle is surely won now.

87' - (RAN 0-4 MRC) - It's just adding insult to injury now as Mercedini rack up the goals in these final few minutes. It's Toivonen who marks his first start in a qualifying game as first choice with a goal from a corner. Mercedini only sent two or three up for the corner, but that was all it took as Toivonen rose highest and planted a strong header into the bottom corner of the goal for a fourth, which is, on the balance of play, rather undeserved. Mercedini have ultimately ran away with it and look to be heading to a sizable win in the Arena Perla. 4-0 it stands on the night in Franik.

90+1' - (RAN 0-4 MRC) - There we have it, the referee blows his whistle for the end of what was an entertaining affair in Franik with Mercedini taking all three points from Rannoria on opening night. Mercedini were made to work for their win and the result may seem harsh from a Rannorian point of view, as the debutants lost their opening match in quite harsh circumstances come the end of the match, but it is a testament to the quality and talent of both squads here today. A brace from Chillotov with accompanying goals from Kraljic and Toivonen ultimately sealed Mercedini's first win on the qualification stage for the 81st World Cup. It's been a good performance from their team, but it's finishied at the Arena Perla; Rannoria 0, Mercedini 4.

FULL TIME
Rannoria 0 - 4 Mercedini
Chillotov 40', 84', Kraljic 60', Toivonen 87'

That's it from us, Mercedini are off the mark in qualification and will head to face Kernovi tomorrow in what will likely become a hard qualification schedule for everyone involved. It will likely be a different environment for the lads as they look to overcome the odds and bring home a top two finish as they travel around the multiverse looking for points in corners of regions and faraway lands, to book their place at the next World Cup. As ever, we will give you the run down of all the action including post match interviews and reactions. However, from us here in Franik, goodnight!

[Brenecia]

Cassadaigua 0 - 2 Brenecia
(4-1-4-1) 1 - Woodgate (c); 18 - Broxham (2 - Carrack 79'), 5 - Heneghan, 6 - Szubanski, 3 - Quill; 23 - Alweather; 7 - Crowther, 21 - Case, 13 - Wheeler (8 - Hartsdown 72'), 11 - Ashbrown (16 - Keynes 67'); 9 - Riordan
Goals: Riordan 65', Keynes 83'

"And Ranucci- must score! She- hasn't! Woodgate somehow gets down to it-"
"Oh my God."
"Well, that... happened?"
Gerik Marshall sighed. It wasn't like football was even His Sport, not these days, but it was the only sport there was that Brenecians were any good at. There was a barely-professional baseball league, albeit one mired in corruption, and rugby and ice hockey were presences. But you had to care about sport, because there weren't many other options to get your catharsis. He loved football, but only reluctantly, by obligation.
Anyway, the boys were winning 1-0, as they usually were these days after long years of mediocrity, and he could sit here and drain his-
"KeeeeEEEYNESSSSSS"
- okay, two nil, whatever. He had a pint full of cheap lager and a wallet full of small change and a head full of plans.
It had all been so different, fourteen months ago, when Brenecia had actually somehow won the World Cup. Marshall had loved his country back then, and the victory had come as vindication. He had a steady if unexceptional job as a government clerk, a steady if unexceptional girlfriend and two steady if unexceptional children from his last relationship, Moira and Marc. He got custody about a third of the time, and paid a fair level of alimony. Everything was working out, and he'd celebrated his 30th birthday the day of the World Cup final, a final Brenecia somehow won, and it was declared a national holiday (sweet! He could take holidays off on his birthday for the rest of his life!) and two days later when they were parading the trophy down in North Hall on its way down to Rozelle, he'd actually, you know, he'd touched Cheney Heneghan. With his fingers.
He was smiling and laughing and cheering and then he moved into a bigger flat and then he got laid off and cheated on and dumped and borrowed money and set it on fire gambling on the dogs and now he was here, basically fucked.
And then a raw-boned young woman, stretched thin over a broad frame, hipchecked the door and stepped inside the place with a swashbuckling grin. Rebecca Clement - Beck to pretty much anyone and everyone - was here, and possessed just the right kind of petty criminal skillsets Marshall was looking for.
"Been a long time, Ger!"
"... It's been like three weeks."
"Like I said." She shrugged, took a seat next to him, glanced up at the match. "Fuck me, Alweather's still playing? Reid's a fuckin' clown. Best manager in the world, but a clown." She glanced back towards Marshall. "Anyway, here I am. Missed all of four minutes of the game to get here, too. Did we score? Shit, we scored. Well, better that than them scoring. I mean, it's a good thing. Still sucks to miss a goal, though, you know-"
Marshall cleared his throat pointedly. "Look, Beck, I came here because I've got a plan and I need your, uh... expertise."
"Heh, yeah, that's one word for it. Whatcha got for me, champ?"
"Look, it's great, I've got it all figur- well, maybe half of it figured out, the rest we'll sort out as we go along. Maybe we find like three, four guys for it-"
"On, what, Craigslist?" Clement snorted.
"Sure, whatever! But think of the money. Think of the prize."
"And that'd be..."
Helpfully for the narrative, the camera panned - yes, there! To their prize, which the Patriots had been parading with them. Just like was a trophy, because it was. He pointed at the screen.
"The World Cup."
"Yeah."
"It's gonna be ours, Beck."
Clement blinked, confused. "It is ours. We won it. Remember? You touched Heneghan's shin and wouldn't shut up about it for like-"
"No, literally, Beck. Well, figuratively. We don't own it. We're gonna, though."
Clement laughed, and toasted to it. And they drank the night away, sinking pints, then quickly graduating to shots, moving down to the nightclub, moving up to her flat, and the very next morning, she groggily opened her eyes, blinked up at him, and asked;
"Wait, you're serious, aren't you?"

OOC to Cass: Oops. Thanks for the catch!

[Cheergirls]

Mikayla Corston and her mother have a conversation regarding the first game:

Mom: Mikayla, I have to tell you something important.

Mikayla: Yes, mom? I am sorry that we lost.

Mom: It’s not that. One of the match officials complained to me about the start of the game about our field not being, well, World Cup caliber.

Mikayla: They should be so grateful that we are using our backyard for this.

Mom: Neighbors complained that some people parked on their lawn. But I got that resolved now that they realize they can just charge people to park there.

Mikayla: Sounds like they make out good then, so let them make money off of it.

Mom: The match officials, though, think we need to play at a stadium, or at least an official field. Not our backyard.

Mikayla: Well they need to realize it costs money to rent out a field at one of the schools nearby. They should just be grateful that we are hosting these teams. We need to use our money to fly out to these other countries.

Mom: I agree. There is something else though, I think we need to get a scoreboard. I think we were expecting a low scoring game, so we all would remember what the score was, but some people thought that final was 3-3 because they didn’t show up in time to see Greater Libertanias first goal.

Mikayla: Just use poster board or something.

Mom: And we probably should have a game clock. No one really knew but the ref how much time had gone by.

Mikayla: Well, you know, sometimes we need to make sacrifices. You always taught me that. When the ref blows his whistle then everyone will know how much time is left.

Mom: I guess.

Mikayla: If the opponents want or need a game clock so bad, tell them to bring their own. Otherwise, wear a stopwatch and just let it run and you’ll always know the time of the game.

Mom: That’s a good idea, we could buy stopwatches, and then sell them for twice the price at the game. Just like real concession stands at big national stadiums do. Great idea!

Mikayla: Thanks, mom.

[Karulicja]

Danijel felt nothing. All he knew was that he didn’t want to remove his hands from his eyes – as if that could solve things. As the darkness intensified, his other sense slowly took over. The moist feeling below him, tickling his back. The smell of fresh-cut grass which always brought him back home, to the beautiful endless hills of the north. If it weren’t from the sound… It was impossible to put it under one word as it was a monotonous droning which invaded his ears, his brains. Only slowly, a string of words managed to force its way in, rematerializing everything around him.

“Get up, Dani, it’s halftime.”

He once had seen a movie, a quite crappy one in fact about someone who controlled time with simple pushes on a button – allowing you to go back and forth to your liking. Danijel Prigidar wanted to go back. To before the clever header from the hardworking Pagliarulo who not only had opened up space, but also flicked the leather in there for him. To before the cross from Derbali, a showing of his skill in a fairly unexciting opening half. To before the quick throw after grabbing hold of the corner kick, instigating a quick counter. Well, in fact – it all didn’t have to go that far for Danijel, actually. Just to before he skied a shot on open goal and the burst of disappointment of the crowd blew him on his back would be just fine.

He had to score – there was no other option. At last, the kid would see him. The relations between his mum and Dani were strained, to keep it more polite than the divorce had been. And some friends tried to cheer him after the trial that the judge probably hadn’t been a Valesjka fan, but the raw wording, in between the legalese, were clear. No visiting right unless permission given by the birthmother. And boy, did she knew how to use that leverage. He still hadn’t figured out why exactly she had brought little Jacopo to the Farelli – although she was stubborn enough to raise her son – their son, goddamned – as a Cadenza fan, just to mess with his head. So she couldn’t refuse the kiddo the chance to see his father for the first time in six years.

Azzini approached Danijel, head in hands, slowly but surely.

“Dani, I’m…”
“Coach, you can’t.”

The gaffer knew his squad well enough to realise this was out of the ordinary. As with any group of young, ambitious men, there were a few who wouldn’t hesitate to talk back. It was a fight he didn’t mind, in fact, because he knew he could win it with his thunderous voice. But he knew his lot and Danijel didn’t walk that way.

“I see you’re… You’re…” Azzini tried to reason.
“Playing shit,” Prigidar replied with much aplomb.
“Struggling, I was going for,” the gaffer grinned.
“It’s worthless, but give me fifteen minutes,” Prigidar begged.

Azzini hesitated. He had already asked Piccini to intensify his warm-up. Ciro might be a lazy bum, but he was the perfect man to break the back of Nuadh-Alba with an ugly goal.

“I will but…”
“I’ll do anything,” Danijel replied, looking his coach straight in the eye.
“But I want you to think of grass.”

An awkward silence.

“Grass?”
“Grass. It’s smell. And play some football, in between, if you don’t mind.”

Three minutes into the second half, an industrious Kunstelj won a free kick on the wing. As Giuseppe Trevisan, doing all in his might to win the battle over the pivotal midfield position with a strong performance, whipped it in the centre, Danijel Prigidar popped out of the pack and towered over all in dark and light blue to head it home. As he ran up to the coach, some claim to have heard him yell “it’s f’ing green!”. That was after he was pointing vaguely in that direction. Most thought he pointed too high if he wanted to thank the coach who had kept faith in him – but yeah, it’s difficult to properly point at something when you’re running. Few noticed the little boy behind the dugout, cheering in his Valesjka outfit with the big 9 on it.

[Starblaydia]

OOC: For full RP attribution, the WC63 graphic of ultimate smugness was made by Audioslavia way back at the time

In Starblaydia, the coverage of an average match is fairly consistent across the various media. Other times, it's a polar opposite. See if you can spot the difference in the tones of these two articles. There are no prizes for spotting any of the aforementioned differences, of course, it's just a little bit of comparative fun at Starblaydi journalists' expense.

__All Football | International | World Cup 81 | Qualifying | Group 5 __

A-WYN TO BULLS: I'LL EXECUTE ORDER 66

_ Boss gives warning of intent to top group

By Tarquin Ramos
Posted at 2:04 am | Updated 2:06 am

STARBLAYDIA players are put on alert by Ázëwyn Fëanáro to get an "important" result against Audioslavia

The Starblaydia boss made her comments ahead of the tough trip to rivals Audioslavia.


Ázëwyn Fëanáro hyped up fans over the 'important" match to kill Audioslavia's group hopes early.

The Starblaydi legend had said "Audioslavia away is an important match".

Starblaydi fans still feel the hurt 72 years later after losing the World Cup 63 final to Karsten Eiger's infamous brace.


Audioslavian fluke against Starblaydia ended Bulls' World Cup drought

One fan, SeXlOvEr74, wrote "We gotta smash these bellends."

SuperDiBradnini added, "so important so so important that we beat em."

Another simply said "yep".

"F**ing twunts."

A Seven Star Match
Starblaydi matadors prepare to enter the bullpen of the Arena Kirola

Ázëwyn Fëanáro spoke yesterday of how important the upcoming match against Audioslavia really was. She delved into the history of this fixture, going all the way back to the 4-0 win when a Lena Kochanska brace saw off the Audioslavians on Matchday One of the 36th AOCAF Cup. It was follwed some eight years later by the Final defeat, where Starblaydia's fantasy run to the Final was stopped by a Bulls side far more used to losing big matches than even the most pessimistic of Krytenians. This was the match that proved that heart and grit and blind dumb hit-and-hope luck can overcome the precision of skill, speed and technique. She touched on Starblaydi historically not performing well in Audioslavia, crashing out of both AOCAF Cups 42 and 49 in the Tentative Republic and in fact not even making it to World Cups 66 and 75, both co-hosted by her Matchday Two hosts.

The most recent two meetings between the sides, the only ones that can be seen in the light of day rather than decades-old historical context, do not make good reading for the men and women in white and purple. 2-0 in AOCAF 53, 1-0 in the Group Stage of World Cup 78, in Fëanáro's own first match taking charge of the team at a major tournament. Sure, she'd already won ten of Starblaydia sixteen matches in order to directly qualify for Bonesea and Cosumar, but this was the real finals, and Starblaydia hadn't even scored a single goal in three matches as they were dumped out with a single goalless draw to Semarland to their name, defeated by Audioslavia and thumped by Pasarga.

But, a lot has happened since then. Three consecutive World Cup berths, two straight knockout appearances, a third place at AOCAF 56 topped off with Starblaydia's 1,000th win in international competition. They're already up to 1,002 wins, by the way, thanks to a Friendly defeat of Taeshan and Matchday One's win over in Melbergia, ticking up their win percentage from 60.53% to 60.54% over 264 years of international games. What comes next, though, is Starblaydia's sternest test of these Qualifiers. They've barely gotten out of second gear in their first match, have yet to be buoyed by a good home win in front of their fans, and are facing the toughest team in their group. This is not an 'on paper' affair, where we look at ranks and history and form and formations and decide who should be theoretically Starblaydia's strongest test. No, this is Audioslavia. This is a side who come from just over the water to the east, who have eyed our achievements just as long as we have watched their performances. It's a styles clash in the truest sense, as it always has been. For as long as their are Starblaydi in their crisp white and purple trim, aiming for the stars, there will be Audioslavians in their specific shades of red and green ready to knock them back down to earth.

Even if Audioslavia were unranked, this would still be Fëanáro's greatest test during the Qualifying campaign. In the vertigo-inducing cauldron of the Arena Kirola, Starblaydia's bid to top this group and automatically qualify for their fourth World Cup in succession will be made or lost. Their goal difference, even their points total, can recover from a loss at this stage of the Group, such is the amount of games still to be played. They cannot win the Group with a win here, but they can certainly lose their pride and their confidence if they left the North-East Calanian Derby get the better of them.

[South Toronto]

Chapter 1: Moonlight

Before The Match Against Krenorus

Jamal Seruna laid back on the chair on the patio of his hotel as he watched the moonlight, unable to sleep. The game against Krenorus was the first test of many to come, and it was a tough game as they were away from home. He almost didn't want to go, because the names and terms they referred to in 'Footsoccer' for some reason infuriated him. "Bro, why can't some nations be normal? It's either football or soccer and even then, soccer shouldn't really be used," thought Jamal. Suddenly, his door handle for the hotel turned. He turned around, panicked, but he was relieved when the voice of Bryan Penelope was heard. "Who else could it be, of course, it's him," thought Jamal.

"Ay, what do you want, I'm kind of busy at the moment!" said Jamal. "Bro, get up, we need to get the jet man! Our flight's in like 40 minutes, so we got to go now if we wanna get there on time. You got your stuff?" asked Bryan as he knocked persistently on the door. The door then opened, and Bryan stood in the doorway, with a huge backpack, full of essentials for the trip to Krenorus.

"Sure man, lemme get my stuff," replied Jamal. He looked for his bags and remembered he left them on the patio. Quickly, he walked over to the patio and grabbed the bags off the floor, and slung them onto his shoulders. Jamal looked up at the moonlight one more time, but the moon was blood red, and the moonlight it gave off was a bright shade of red.

"Oh shit, Bryan come look at this!" shouted Jamal in confusion. Bryan rushed over and looked up into the night sky. And sure enough, the moon was red.

"What the fuck..." said Bryan in shock. "Are you sure it isn't a blood moon?" asked Bryan as rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating.

"Yep, I'm sure alright. If it was, the media would be hyping it up and they'd be bare people watching. it's just an ordinary night, except the moon of course. Surely other people would have noticed?" replied Jamal.

"Yeah, but I'm not trying to stick around for that. Must be one of those government nuclear tests or some weird shit like that, but I'm leaving. You coming?" asked Bryan.

"Si, mi amigo, vamos a aeropuerto," said Jamal. Bryan groaned and walked out the open door, and Jamal followed but shut the hotel door behind him.

12 hours later, everybody arrived in Krenorus for Matchday 1 of the World Cup 81 Qualifiers. The squad were then met with a huge coach and the words 'Krenorus v South Toronto, kickoff at 4:00 PM. Come on, the Eagle-Eyed Fighters!'.

"Hey you, funny looking man. You are South Toronto, correct?" said the coach driver.

"Well yes, I believe we hired a coach to take us to the stadium so we can get prepared for the match," answered Ellayandzer Walker. After the coach drive glared at every squad member, he tutted and said "Get in, you do not want to be late, or we'll win 3-0 by default. I'm not even sure if we need you to be late, we are going to win 3 or 4-0 against you. Especially with those tiny boys on your team. I thought twelve-year-olds weren't allowed to play!" mocked the coach driver.

"First of all yeah," began Paul Makanjoko. "Anybody of any age can play for their nation, not sure what's wrong with twelve-year-olds playing. Second of all, what does mine and Kenza's height have anything to do with how good our team is? I bet we can thrash your team without even trying," argued Paul.

"Okay, okay chill, it was just a joke," said the coach driver. "Call me Harris," He then saw Kayla and asked "Is the female a cheerleader or something? Or is she an actual player?"

"No, I'm the assistant manager for South Toronto. And not all 'females' are cheerleaders, and if I wanted to I could be a player just for this game and destroy your entire team. Can you stop fucking judging us and takes us to the stadium, you dickhead?" asserted Kayla.

"Okay, no need for such vulgar language. All of you get in," said Harris. Everybody got in the coach, with the staff taking the seats at the front of the coach. The stadium is 2 hours away from here," yelled Harris over the loud talking of the players. He started the coach and drove out of the airport and onto the highway. The occasional car would cut him off and he'd curse them, but otherwise, it was a calm trip with Harris not talking to any of the staff.

2 hours later, the squad had reached the stadium and now had to prepare for the match. They walked into the entrance for the teams, and they all went into the changing rooms. Once everyone sat down where their shirt was, Ellayandzer Walker started talking.

"Alright lads, it's the first game of the qualifiers against Krenorus, and I'd ideally like to start this off with a victory. They have a weird mix of tactics and will often shift tactics when things aren't going their way. But, they are moderately aggressive, so I want to take full advantage of that. Juan, you're the starting goalie. If you're through 1-on-1 then you must come forward and scare the strikers so they rush their chance. Got it?" asked Ellayandzer.

"Yes, boss. I won't let you down boss," replied Juan Esteban de Mites, with a smile on his face.

"I sure hope you don't, but anyways, the defence is the same as always, so that's Praye, Bryan, Jamal and Jeremías, and I want ya'll to play the same as always, but Bryan and Jamal, use your strength more to ward them off the ball, the strikers are kind of weak. In the midfield are Rosolgi, Delta, and Decepti. No offence, but I need the physically weakest players on the team, and you'll see why when it's game time. And the front three for today are Quinque, Ligti, and Tyrese. Any questions?" asked Ellayandzer.

"I got a question boss. Am I still going to be the team's penalty taker?" asked Jamal.

"I mean, nobody else is as good as penalties as you, so yes, you're still the penalty taker for the team. Unless of course, you don't want to be, the best person at particular set pieces will take them," said Ellayandzer.

"Anyone else?"

"Yeah, I got one, how come me and Delta are in the mid? Shouldn't there always be 2 defensive midfielders and one attacking one?" asked Decepti.

"Unlike your old manager, I am not stubborn, and I change tactics according to the team we play. I want to have a go at Krenorus' defence, so I need a threatening attack" replied Ellayandzer. He looked at the time on his watch, and it was 15 minutes until the match started. "It seems we need to get in our kits and go onto the pitch to do a quick training drill now. Come on let's excite the fans!" shouted Ellayandzer. The whole squad hyped themselves up for this game and were talking amongst themselves once they were done changing into their kits.

"So, any of you know about Krenorus? All I know is that all of the mandem jumping in if a fight breaks out," said Tyrese Townsend.

"Nah, but I wish he put Andre in the team, he would've helped us out massively!" said Praye de Lood, as everyone in the dressing rooms laughed, including Andre Tomanke. "But seriously though, I'm probably going to get subbed off in like the 50th minute, free 40 minutes up for grabs guys"

"I would like to play, but I don't want to play. You feel me? Like, I don't want to get banned for cheating, and I'm going to stop cheating. Besides, I only do it in desperate situations.

"Oh that's cool man, but if we are in a sticky situation you finna help us out, got it?" said Decepti. Ellayandzer burst into the room. "What the fuck are you guys doing? Get the fuck up and onto the pitch and do those drills!" shouted Ellayandzer. Startled, the players all got up and went onto the pitch to do a quick fitness session before coming back to the dug-out.

Kick-off Time

"And now, introduce the teams playing in this World Cup Qualifier, Krenorus and South Toronto!" the voice said, which was met with a strong cheer by the Krenorus fans.

The ball was set down, and the South Toronton players eagerly waited for the referee's whistle to be blown.

The referee whistled for kick off. They were off.

Apart from the occasional attack, Jamal had nothing to do, although, on the other end, the Krenorus players were playing for a draw. O'Brien made a silly challenge on Decepti Vardez Jr. inside the box, and Decepti pushed him and said: "What the hell, tonto!". The whole squad jumped in and knocked Decepti clean out. O'Brien was given a red in the 86th minute, and Decepti was stretchered out quickly. Germanpreet Sachadev came on for Decepti and Andre came on for Praye de Lood, who looked like he had a knock to his knee. "Oi ref, is it a penalty or not?" said Tyrese as he approached the referee. Without hesitation, the referee pointed to the spot and gave a penalty. "Jamal, get over here and take this!" the whole team shouted. Jamal sprinted over and placed the ball on the spot.

Krenorussian players and fans clearly disagreed with the referee's decision, and they weren't afraid to show it. Jamal blocked out all the noise and put the ball on the spot. He could potentially win this game if he scored, so he had to score to go 1-0 up. His heart was racing, he hasn't ever taken a penalty that he felt he was going to miss.

The referee blew the whistle.

"Inshallah I will score," whispered Jamal as he ran up to the ball and blazed it against the crossbar. It came straight for him and he was knocked clean. The ball rebounded off the crossbar and into his face, but the ball went into the top corner while Krusen was on the floor. Later on, in the second minute of added time, Germanpreet Sachadev launched the ball into the goal, crossbar and in. The match finished 2-0, with two players knocked out.

Huffingshire awaited the Phoenixes, but what was up with the red moonlight?

[Free Republics]

Designed by 3WD of Vilita

This is your Matchday 2 Cutoff brought to you by Citrus Computing! Citrus: Think Forward!

---

Scores

[The Macabees]

LOLITA, CH. 3

With two victories to kick off qualifying, the imperial football team was on a roll and spirits were high. But the first two gives were what one might call softballs, against unranked or poorly ranked teams. Now, the Golden Throne couldn't judge any other team for being of low rank, their own not being all that better, but that was exactly the point. Most of the big boys were still left to play and the next game would be against a team in the top 70, which for the Golden Throne might as well have been the top 20. A win would be exhilarating, a loss would return them back to earth. Either way, Lakén Yori would want to party to forget afterward. Lakén was rich, good-looking, and a good ball player, so he always got what he wanted.

It had been almost a week since that girl named Lolita had stormed the nightclub, demanded Lakén's blood, and finally removed from the premises by a team of bouncers. Truth to be told, whatever scar she had left on the player was gone after about...thirty seconds. It's easy to forget about drama when you got a beautiful girl sitting on your lap. But for Bernie it wasn't so easy. He had a feeling she'd be back and this time he had to be prepared for it.

Believe it or not, Bernie had a day job. His purpose in life wasn't just being Yori's fluffer.

Fedala was a stunning, sprawling city, with as much going on above the surface as there was below. Elaborately built palaces, temples, and other public buildings decorated the river side city's banks and extended deep toward the center. A bit further to the north one could see the financial district from just about any place, hundreds of tall buildings soaring into clouds high above. That's where he worked, in one of those buildings on the 97th floor, as a junior broker at a major brokerage firm that represented major sports players.

He reached the office early morning, at 7 AM. The boss was already there, giving him a level look from behind the glass of his office. Bernie took his own desk in a much smaller office that he shared with another broker. Anita was already there waiting for him, her blue on him almost as soon as he stepped in. She was beautiful, but Bernie had spent too much time with her to think of Anita in that way. Besides, she had already told him she wasn't interested.

"Long nights this weekend, I heard," she said.

He looked at her. Trying to look innocent, he said, "Huh? What do you mean?"

"Oh, you know, wild parties with your friend Lakén Yori. Half naked girls dancing on polls. Unlimited booze. Morning headaches. All the above. The rumor mill is always active, Bern, and it looks like this time you made it in." She threw a folded newspaper onto his desk. It landed with a slap.

He took it and unfolded it where she had left a marker. He read it out loud. "Unlimited alcohol. Unrestricted womanizing. Rampant irresponsibility. These have always characterized the lives of our most famous sportspersons, they are the constant traits that define our children's heroes. But it is different to see than it than hear about it. Recently emergent photographs of a recent party for the midfielder Lakén Yori, who has played pivotal roles in both recent victories in the World Cup qualifiers, show him with women hanging from his arms, while others are hauled off the dance floor. The woman being pulled by bouncers has been identified as Lolita Arakna, but she has so far refused to speak to the press, citing emotional difficulty. These photos lay bare a different truth, one of the emotional bullying that comes with patriarchy and its belief that it can dominate the female spirit."

"What the f@%& are you reading?" he asked. He flipped the paper back to its cover. "The Fedala Feminist. Why are you reading this trash?"

"That 'trash' believes in empowering women. Which is more than what we can say for your lot, it seems," she scowled. It broke into a smile, "Just kidding, f@%& that bulls^!$. Just be careful, because this s^!$ will come around to bite you in the ass."

"Yea," he said, "whatever, let's make some money."

He picked up the phone and dialed. A man picked up on the other side. "Heyyyyyy, Rogar, how's it going? I know it's early, but I wanted to catch you before you went into work. Yea man, how are you doing? How are the wife and kids? How's life? Are you doing well, are you at a good place? I know you were thinking about buying a boat. Oh, you want to upgrade your house first? That's going to take a serious investment, man. Looking at your portfolio, I don't know if you have that kind of money yet. Yea, you could definitely make it. Yea, why don't we meet for lunch later and we'll talk about some new investments that have landed on my lap. These are fantastic, they're going to make both of us rich, trust me."

Bernie made these types of calls throughout the morning. Clients called him too. It was almost four hours of work before lunch, purely consisting of sales calls. He was at his most productive in the AM, when the coffee flowed thickly through the veins. The phone rang, he picked it up.

"Hi, Bernie." A woman's voice. "It's Lolita."

"How did you get this number?" he asked, trying to keep the panic out of his scratchy voice. Anita raised an eyebrow.

Lolita laughed. "Oh Bernie, don't get so flustered. I won't hurt you. Any more than I already did that night."

He remembered 'that night.' Oh, what a night it had been. With her dark brunette hair, remarkable green eyes, and a spectacular body, there was no doubt that she was a beautiful woman. And great in the bed too. But the bitch was f@%&ing crazy. "I'm not flustered, I'm not flustered," he said, quickly. "Just wondering why the hell you're calling me."

"Tisk, tisk, Bernie," he replied. "You still owe me."

"What the hell do I owe you?" he asked, shouting now.

Silence for a minute. "You know what," Lolita said, finally. "Let's meet for lunch tomorrow. Be at the Lelun Fatal by 12:30, and don't be late."

The phone clicked on the other side and the line went dead. "What. the. f@%&."

"Who was that?" asked Anita.

Bernie shook his head. "The damned devil."

[Tinhampton]

TFA MATCH STATPACK: Tinhampton 4–1 Oscioru
Venue: Tin Park, Tinhampton, Tinhampton

STARTING LINEUPS and their USED SUBSTITUTES:

• Tinhampton (4-1-3-2): 1. Josh SMITH (GK), 2. William POTTER (↻ 90+3' MORRIS), 3. Harry PORTER, 4. Jamie VALLEY, 16. Brian SMALL, 6. Michael YOUNG (↻ 46' VATUNSKA), 7. Ian JONES (C), 8. Mohamed al-KHAZR, 9. Fred BALL, 10. Priscilla EVANS (↻ 75' WOOD), 11. Ian GRAHAM.
• Oscioru (Sweeper 5-1-2-2-1???; shirt numbers unknown): Carlo RAMIRES, Frank SACCO, Roger CROCETTI, Francisque LAURE, Philbert ARMATI, Antonio CASTRO, Isidoro DI MICHELIS, Roland BELROSE, Joaquim SANCHEZ, Xavi CONTOIS, Pons BRIOCHI, August MARTÍ.
  Unable to play: Peter WRIGHT (TIN).

GOALS: Mohamed al-KHAZR 32'48'' (TIN), Priscilla EVANS 44'29'' (TIN), Priscilla EVANS 81'55'' (TIN), August MARTÍ 90'00 + 00'42'' (Oscioru, trigram unknown), Ian JONES 90'00'' + 03'23'' (TIN)
CARDS: Yellow: Aihlo VATUNSKA 45+1' (TIN), Priscilla EVANS 66' (TIN), Frank SACCO 80' (OSC). Red: Antonio CASTRO 78' (OSC), Aihlo VATUNSKA 79' (TIN).
INJURIES: None.
OTHER INCIDENTS: Oscioru fielded twelve players instead of eleven* in this match, although Tinhampton has chosen not to file a complaint.

*Before Juvencus/Oscioru accuses me of godmodding - you listed twelve players in your "Starting XI!"

---

Forays of Folly
Season 1, Episode 3: The Cabinet Meets, a play in Iambic Pentameter - Act 1

---

Mid-August 2018, a large and well-aired room in Gasworks Road, Tinhampton. Enter the GOVERNMENT OF TINHAMPTON.

MAYOR PRICE:

1

Good afternoon, my fellow cabinet
Ministers, and welcome to our meeting.
What's to be discussed today?

DEPUTY MAYOR DYER
I say we
Get to task on the matter in hand, that

5

Is, the impendent reopening of
The Tinhamptonian Assembly and
All its related business.

MAYOR PRICE:
Very well, then,
We shall commence with discussion of our
Affairs fiscal and military. Should

10

You wish to speak, of course, you may do so.

FOREIGN MINISTER WRIGHT:
But wait! Has my forebear not been held to
Capture by dreadful King Halal and his
Merciless security men? And two
Of her valued political friends, too?

FINANCE MINISTER BYRNE:

15

My Honourable colleague makes quite the
Good point here---

FOREIGN MINISTER WRIGHT:
Not "good point," Vicky - it's true!

FINANCE MINISTER BYRNE:
If that is what you admit, you may admit so,
But I shall succumb not to the cowards and
Traitors that threaten our city dear, never!

FOREIGN MINISTER WRIGHT:

20

That point I shall not challenge. But how far?

MAYOR PRICE:
As far as I permit this cabinet
To do so!

FINANCE MINISTER BYRNE:
But...

MAYOR PRICE:
No "buts," nor shall
"Ifs" be deemed acceptable concourse! If...

BUSINESS STANDARDS MINISTER STEER:
You false hypocrite! Shall I report you

25

To the High Commissioner for Standards
Of Conduct for Assembly Members? Or
Perhaps take you to the local laundromat?

DEPUTY MAYOR DYER:
My overseer has done naught wrong, but to
Suggest that the woman in control of

30

Our finances ought to look after her
Passive-aggressive and unwomanly
Behaviour foremost!

FINANCE MINISTER BYRNE:
I am free to
Act however I wish to act, and my
Acts were and remain fully within our

35

Law, natural and artificial. But should
I perhaps strike against your flagrantly
Metastereotypical and hence
Utterly repugnant boasts?

BUSINESS STANDARDS MINISTER STEER:
This house is
In deep and catastrophic disarray;

40

Freedoms quashed, rights sinking under the yoke,
Nothing more but calls for obligations,
For ten cents should man wish to use a bag
Of low-density poly'thene,
Plus, not least, ten thousand dollars must he

45

Aspire to tell the men he employs
To opt out of his company pension!
Now, Victoria, I know you will say
That none of this happened under your watch -
Rather, none were stopped by your government,

50

Which is supposed to uphold Tinhampton
As a paradise that neither serves nor
Rules! What heresy is this?

MILITARY MINISTER HOWARD:
Nobody seems
To know, or care, although Tinhampton should
Instead aim to be an environment

55

Where the freedom of the consumer, not
Their being tied down in some now-barely
Explicable bureaucracy, is to
Be promoted. Should you be free, then so should
Everyone else, and should everyone be

60

Free, so will the markets, and in turn our
Entire society as we know
It to this day. Yes, I do advocate
Reasonable restrictions, even if
Primarily for the popular good. Now...

65

Still not convinced? Dave, aged forty-two, has
Been unable to seek employment of
Any sort - an asylum seeker? No,
But a native Tinhamptonian, now

70

In receipt of Municipal Welfare!
It is this insanity that must end.

EDUCATION MINISTER DAVIS:
Insanity? No - simply compassion.
There's no need to go on the jugular
Seeking welfare cuts that hurt thousands of

75

Average Tinhamptonians who, for
Whatever reason, cannot find themselves
Employment, other means of improvement,
Nor can we fight the other benefits
The popular utility hands us.

80

Laugh if you will, but we need to take care
Of those disadvantaged, those poorest in
Our society before we can give
Tax cuts to billionaires, although I
Would not argue that tax cuts are never

85

Just. Surely we have to find a way of
Sorting out this problem and many more
Before it eats us, swallows us whole, and
Spews political illiteracy!

FOREIGN MINISTER WRIGHT:
Must I join in this crowd? Yes, but solely

90

To act in defence of Tinhampton, its
Sovereign trophy itself, to fight for the
Cause of financial, internal, foreign
Common sense, and much more besides, the kind
Of courage I have unfailingly seen

95

To not be upheld by our government
Allegedly loyal to our people!

MAYOR PRICE:
By Maggie - one has indeed been cornered!

DEPUTY MAYOR DYER:
That's your fault, sir, for not keeping your people
Happy beyond reasonable doubt.

MILITARY MINISTER HOWARD:

100

And in other business, I'd like to seek
Approval for a war on Socialist
Mexico and its outright tyranny.

MAYOR PRICE:
My apologies, Saffron - those matters
We'll have to discuss at a time

105

And place yet to be decided, and
Far away from prying, spying eyes. Now,

107

As for the rest, depart imminently!

Exeunt.

[Apox]

Goalkeeper

Apoxian All-Time XI - Centre Defender

Solomon Etezadi
135 caps
7 goals
1 assist
International Playing Career: WC67 - CE16 (WC74)

One of the all time greats in Apoxian football, and at his peak, potentially the best central defender in the multiverse. Etezadi was a traditional style defender, tall and imposing, and his calmness in and around the box was one of the traits which made him so crucial to Apoxian hopes during the times he played for the team.

His debut for Apox was a friendly against The Licentian Isles prior to Campionato Esportiva 8, one with a qualifying tournament before the finals held in Apox and an unmitigated disaster for the team dropping out in the Round of 16. Etezadi performed admirably in the 2-0 against the Islanders, being a young player still finding his voice on the pitch - his performance being a bright light in the chaotic final days of Dravid Scott's time as manager of Apox.

The incoming manager, Magnus Fjelden, was aiming to make Apox a very strong defensive unit indeed and saw a lot of potential in Etezadi - introducing him into the team for the WC67 qualifiers and he immediately settled in as a starter, playing almost every game in qualifiers and in the finals - being part of the 2-0 loss after extra time to Polar Islandstates in the Round of 16.

Etezadi's immediate introduction to the first team meant his game awareness and defensive leadership qualities increased dramatically and he was quickly a key player in the side, playing almost every game he was available to play for. After a couple more World Cups as a regular in the team, he was made captain during Cup of Harmony 62, with Ettie Seabrooke giving up the captaincy while remaining in the team after the relatively poor World Cup 70 qualifying campaign.

He was captain throughout the early 70s World Cups, probably the most successful period for Apoxian international football, with four successive qualifications between World Cup 71-74, with the 73rd World Cup held in Apox made Etezadi the second captain to play World Cup football in Apox after Matthias Sindelar. Indeed, during World Cup 73, he overtook Olim Benzari's record for the most caps for Apox and in the qualifiers for World Cup 74 he overtook another record of Olim's - most games captained, all while the national team manager was Olim Benzari himself.

His international career was finished with the Apoxian footballing hiatus due to the corruption scandal - although he had announced his intentions to retire after Campionato Esportiva 16 anyway. And so, his international career ended on a rather bittersweet note - Apox's victory in CE16, the teams third CE victory in all and first international trophy since CE5. However, it would prove to be the final Apoxian international venture for six years as the country sorted itself out once again.

Domestically, he emerged into the first team at Issington F.C, whilst they were still something of a force in the ANL, although after their title winnings days. However, after a few years of Issington falling from title challengers to UICA challengers to mid table and draining players along the way, Etezadi grew disillusioned and put in a request for a big transfer to a club suitable of his level. In the end, he ended up playing for a superclub, Mâ Âlâmëómë of Farfadillis. There, he had an interesting time to say the least, often having to bail out his team which was traditionally Farf in that defense was usually considered optional. However, he was very successful there and club captain for a number of seasons. He finally retired from competitive football a couple of seasons after the corruption scandal occurred and has since mainly done ambassadorial work for Apoxian football, although there have been suggestions he might be interested in potentially getting into management in the future.

Apox 4-0 Miznan Palmisano, J. 8', Miznan OG 18', Gandhi, A. 53', Oakstone-Sandoval 86'
APX: Abujamal -- Fox, Gandhi. Os, Jekyll, Belgrave -- Drawbridge, Townsend (Magarhatery 68'), Palmisano, J. (c) (Bridges 73') -- Oakstone-Sandoval, Gandhi. A (Blake-Tatum 77'), Quintero
MIZ: Not supplied

Apox begin their World Cup with a strong victory over 272nd ranked Miznan, handing debuts to Eusebio Drawbridge and Cassiopeia Quintero in the process. The team started strongly from the off, with Miriam Oakstone-Sandoval heading the ball across the box to the waiting James Palmisano to sweep into the goal. The second goal was a speculative effort from Isidra Belgrave which was fumbled by the keeper and rolling slowly into the net, in fairly farcical fashion. An Alpha Gandhi penalty in eight minutes into the second half saw Apox comfortably ahead and confirmed the result, leading to Luxulya St. Cleer rolling in the changes bringing off many of the most experienced players and handing out yet another debut, this time to Marcy Blake-Tatum up front. Indeed, there was further excitement later on, with Ayrton Fox going on a mazy run up the wing and crossing the ball into the waiting head of Miriam Oakstone-Sandoval. A strong start to a campaign where qualification is the prime aim.

Filindostan 0-1 Apox Palmisano, L. 14'
FID: Gerry -- Kartio, Dina Satyawan (c), Casimir -- King (Sutikno 82'), Mohd Safri -- MMM, Yakob, Damaris (Juanda 66') -- Yish (Ina 66'), Bochog
APX: Spitfire -- Fox, Scott, Jekyll (Dialogue 35'), Redmond -- Menheniot, Townsend, Palmisano, J. (c) (Llangolan 70') -- Ephraim-Garza, Palmisano, L., Vladimirescu (Arrowsmith 88')

A difficult challenge against the third seeded team in the group and an important game for the team to show their mettle. Luxulya St. Cleer has largely picked the most experienced team available to her, with the fresher legs of Clarissa Ephraim-Garza and Lucan Palmisano preferred up front. Indeed, the selection of Lucan Palmisano proved to be an important one, as he linked up with brother and domestic teammate James to score the only goal of the game, James stealing the ball off King Tisang, doing a one-two with Titan Vladimirescu before slicing open Filindostan's defense to put brother Lucan through on goal. The shot was promptly buried in the back of the net. Filindostan did have plenty of chances, and Tregatta Spitfire produced a number of excellent saves in the second half in particular, but obth teams struggled for flow at times and the game ended up looking a little flat. Apox march on, another win confirmed, and a home tie against 190th ranked Romaien is what we have to look forward to next.

[Filindostan]

Two matches, two losses.

It was a less than ideal campaign by the Pula Garudas, at least for the first two matches. Placed in Pot 3 in their third try for World Cup qualification, they were placed in a group with The Holy Empire, a four-time World Cup champion, and a household nation name in Esportiva, Apox. Being the third best team in Group 4, the Filindos should take this opportunity to get points from the top two seeds while keeping the lower ranked teams at bay. When the coaching staff looked at the fixtures though, they sighed.

The first two matchdays were against the top two - a visit to The Dreamed Realm to face the world number five, before returning to San Marco to host the Apoxians, and they lost both of their matches - not an ideal start to Twilight Striker's campaign, especially after two of her assistant coaches left the team in the midst of the team's preparations after their low-key Campionato performance where they failed to sweep their group despite having the top seed in Group A, and losing to eventual winners Brenecia.

It was pretty obvious that Mister Hoswe will leave the coaching staff after he decided to choose to lead Sangti in their own World Cup campaign - which they started well thanks to a 1-0 win over the dethroned Esportivan champions, Kita-Hinode. Hoswe was not involved in the latest Campionato tournament having started the Sangtians' campaign in the AOCAF Cup. After the regional tournaments, the Pula Garudas arranged two friendlies, against Busoga Islands, and another, against Mister Hoswe's Sangti, which turned out to be both victories for the Filindostanis. Qusmo manager Cralt-Nirlo Fox was still also in the touchline assisting the Equestrian manager.

However, days after their Sangti friendly, Cralt-Nirlo Fox took an offer from another national team and decided to leave the team before the first match of the team's qualifying campaign. With Tony Vargas being the sole assistant manager after the departures, the coaching staff will have a lot to do to put their campaign back on track. And they will face the other pointless team in Halfdansodal on Matchday 3 hoping to arrest their two game slide.

[Ko-oren]

Right now, we have a tiny sample size of the once again revised Dragonflies. And what a sample size, it hasn't happened that often that Ko-oren managed to win two matches to start the qualification circus: an away match at Star United States, and far more importantly, a home match versus Krytenia. The very powerful teams are still weeks away, so this is the perfect time to get this new group to gel together a bit more every day. As said, so far there is not much to complain about.

The system used by head coach Juliasterinthen hasn't changed much at all since last World Cup and last AOCAF. Two wing defenders with some freedom to support the attack in possession. Three central defenders of which one is also allowed to play as a midfielder if the team is feeling very adventurous. Two defensive midfielders that can cover either whatever defender is up front, or they will cover the holes in between players. One attacking midfielder, a true playmaker, able to deliver the ball anywhere. Lastly there are two strikers, one who is able to hold the ball up front, the other to dance around him and take the shot. At least, that's the ideal and luckily we see that this team is able to divert from the plan and lay siege to the other goal any way they see fit.

Right now, the most divisive figure in Ko-orenite football is Juliasterinthen himself. Just as he found a back three that worked (Benjamin, Lampshire, Linderood) he switches it up and replaces two of those. Linderood stays, but the far more talented Lampshire is replaced by a veteran who has never played beyond his state's borders in Varela, and Benjamin, only 22, is replaced by a guy even younger than him: Minne van Schelven, at 20. Now we could argue about Varela's merits, or about Van Schelven's insane development, or the fact that Benjamin has stifled his own development with just 7 appearances last season... but part of the blame lies with Juliasterinthen. He selects, basically, defenders from three clubs known for their huge defence: Straudum, Cirelbourne and Bruncester, and even then he manages to forego any stability by mixing and matching players from these clubs. This is Ko-oren's biggest problem. There are no players that are taking a stand against this. Varela is happy to even get a call at his old age. Linderood is happy that he survived the culling. Van Schelven and Hellegeland, as well as benchwarmers Gicquel, Benjamin and Lampshire are too young to speak up. There's no player that has little enough to lose that they can risk speaking up about this.

And Juliasterinthen almost got away with this, at least, in the first match. Star United States are a newly assembled team with barely any ties to the team we've played in the past. Duchemin scored an easy tap-in for a 1-0 victory, and the defence barely had anything to do. Nobody was exposed, no questions arose after this match. Leave that to the Kryties.

Krytenia. Among Atlantian Oceania's best and (b)oldest, the cyan team is by far the least familiar to us. We know Starblaydia's royal purple, Audioslavia's green and claret, and tropical Vilita (& Turori), all arranged on a single parallel in central-northern Atlantian Oceania. We've known heartbreak against all of these nations, but one: Krytenia. We almost finally experienced defeat at their hands as well.

Nothing seemed off at first. Duchemin scored on a header off of a Longchambon cross just before halftime, and a few minutes after, Odell doubled the lead on a deflected shot from just outside the box. Cruising to a 2-0 lead in front of a huge audience in Aminey is pretty much the ideal way to go. Knowing the Dragonflies, that second goal is completely unnecessary and normally doesn't happen. 1-0 wins are our bread and butter (as is losing in the second round of a tournament). The Krytenians scored their first goal after 70 minutes. That's more time than a team can realistically waste. There's maybe half a minute on throw-ins, goal kicks and corners, so you'd need about 20-30 of those to run down the clock to 90 minutes. Before you think 'but a team would never do that to their fans! Football is supposed to be fun! And exciting!', just remember that we're dealing with the Dragonflies here. This is what we do, what we're good at, and how we manage to qualify for the Cup of Harmony all the time.

Before it came to that, however, there was a shot that silenced the entire stadium: Krytenia had managed to equalise. With reports of Flardania's and South Covello's leads, this is the last we needed. All Juliasterinthen did was substituting Van Schelven for Lampshire. Sacrifice the young one for the mouthiest defender. I just want to remark that this substitute is not going to do anything about scoring a goal to get the lead back, it's just to prevent a loss at best, and making sure you can pin responsibility on Van Schelven at worst. In extra time, Duchemin scored once again to give Ko-oren the lead again at 3-2 - but this wasn't a deserved goal. Least of all deserved by Juliasterinthen, who has excelled in meaningless substitutions and continuing a streak of minimal wins.

We, fans of the Dragonflies, need, expect and deserve a riot.

But still, that's pretty neat, being on 6 points after two games. Thank you Duchemin.

[Juvencus]

Tasrailia 2-4 Juvencus

ANOTHER 3 POINTS IN THE BAG

Visit to Tasrailia sees Juvencus push through victorious

Hunger for victory from last game was still prevalent on the team's visit to Tasrailia, as the team managed to power through the concrete defence of Tasrailia scoring 4. However several mistake errors saw the team concede 2, in what could be considered a good time to start thinking slightly more defensively before flukes happen.

In reality, the first half was a balanced bout between the two teams, exciting aggressive football with lots of chances early on. The Tasrailian team managed to find the net first, after a poorly saved shot by Bulgari was capitalised by the Tasrailian striker. In response to this, the gli attaccanti's engines turned on and the match turned one sided pretty quick and with that in mind an equaliser didn't take long to come, a great volley by Tafani saw the scoreline get to 1-1. Soon after, a long shot from Zuñiga went slightly wide and to compensate for that he sprinted through the entire left side of the Tasrailian defence before giving an easy goal for Martell to score. With the scoreline 1-2 on halftime, it all seemed to flow really smoothly for the gli attaccanti.

However, some sort of second half anxiety hit the team and after a series of unsuccessful passes, the Tasrailian team was able to push through the uncoordinated Juven defence, leveling up the game once more. But from that time on, the gli attaccanti settled on the field and started playing a slightly more passive style of play, with a great possession play to act up on the Tasrailian players' nerves, something that worked last time, which worked once again in this match. This time, at the 73rd minute, a Christian long ball from half-way accross the pitch found Etxeberria at a prime spot for a bicycle kick, a feat which he managed doing, leaving the goalkeeper motionless as he helped his team go up in front once more. Victory was essentially sealed at the 85th minute after a Martell through-ball was capitalised by the efficient striker that is Tafani. Another game, another victory for the books for the gli attaccanti. Next game is against Tanzanique, a team that's off to a bad start and most likely another win for the gli attaccanti.

Juvencus XI:
GK:Taddeo Bulgari
CB:Dudu Madeiros
CB:Nicolò Bassi
CB:Izotz Ibarra
CDM:Nino Russo(Subbed off for Firmino Maçon, 66')
CDM:Clovis Bret
RM:Ekain Zuñiga(Assist 45+2)
LM:Tore Christian(Assists 20', 73')
RF:Patxi Exteberria(Goal 73')
LF:Joaquim Martell(Goal 45+2', Assist 85')
CF:Brunella Tafani(Goals 20, 85')
Tasrailia XI:
A club with history of sending players with names on their jerseys decided to show up to their own pitch nameless, thus no data was found.

[Squornshelan Remnant States]

Three Things
Salwan Mynhier
Too Warm a Welcome

Last night we welcomed international football back onto Squornshelan soil for the first time in almost a century, and to be honest, we were entirely too welcoming for my liking. In our first match, an excellent showing away to Illahee saw Istaro Munib record his fourth clean sheet in just his seventh cap and a second-half goal from Jzeovak Vladcik seal the victory for the Confederacy, and sole possession of first place in Confederate goal scoring for the youngster from Lublova. Last night in Chalesm, on the other hand, was far from excellence. The visitors looked entirely too comfortable on the ball, and Lopal Daror's team seemed unable to make the appropriate adjustments to take back control of the game. Perhaps this is just the difference in class between 198th and 110th ranked teams, but we need to do better if we hope to finish higher than rank would dictate.

In fact, it has taken only two matches for Group 15 to sort itself into nearly the exact order you'd expect going simply by rank. Pasarga and Qasden top the table with full points. Behind them, 95X, Olastor, and VH&C are even with a win and a draw each, with us just a little way behind, and the bottom four teams struggling mightily. Not picking up any points against Olastor is a definite blow to our hopes of a top-half finish. I'm not one to say it's all over so early as this, but without at least a couple of upset wins, we're headed for sixth place or lower, and this match looked to be our best chance to take three points off one of the top five. I'd hoped we'd be able to catch them not yet in full form, while our boys had seven competitive matches together as a unit to build chemistry, but alas, it wasn't to be.

Some credit has to be given to the Black-and-Reds for effort. They kept the match close, and Olastor were not able to generate very many high quality chances, but the sheer quantity of possession and shooting opportunities made up for any lack of quality in the end. The visitors first goal, however, highlights a few shortcomings in the defense that need to be addressed before we play any of the better teams in the group. Geladi simply does not seem able to consistently deny crossing opportunities. Sure, his attacking contributions are helpful, and he picked up a big assist tonight to help Strepol tie it up before halftime, but that goal would have taken the lead if he hadn't allowed the cross on their first goal to get past him. Even then he was almost bailed out, but Raktsov's clearance from the head really let him down. He needs to have the presence of mind in that situation to pick out a black and red shirt, not a blue and green one. One small defensive lapse on that sequence could have been overcome, but two in quick succession is just too much. It's not fair to Munib to expect him to bail out the defense after a screwup like that.

Anyway, here's Three Things to look for going forward in qualifying:

Djabgor Dzarkhin's time is coming Or at least it should be. Personally, I'd like to see Dzarkhin given a chance for more than the last fifteen minutes or so of matches we're already leading. People say he can't contribute to the offense, but no one knows what he can do because Daror never plays him in situations where we're trying to score. All he's ever told to do is sit back and defend. Besides, even if his play doesn't lead to any goals for us, he can prevent more goals than Geladi does, which is a fullback's main job.

We're playing a pretty clean game so far One thing I definitely need to give Daror credit for though, is team discipline. We've just been through two very close matches, defending for long periods of time in emotionally charged environments, and we've only racked up two yellow cards. Whatever the coaching staff is doing in defensive training drills is working, and I love it. Our best players have to be able to be out there on the field if they're going to help us. I fully expect Ystrad, Raktsov, and Strepol to eventually miss some time, especially since the latter two have been cautioned already, but it's encouraging to see that the rest of the team is keeping it pretty clean.

We're back to scoring 1 goal per game and I don't like it. Sure, we'll need to batten down the hatches and play very defensively against the top teams in the group, but sitting back so much doesn't seem like the best strategy against teams closer to our own stature. When we give up on the possession battle before the match has even started, you get situations like last night. Our boys were under siege all game long, and lost the initiative. By the time we made changes late to try to push forward, it was too late. We had been on our heels for too long, and gotten completely out of any kind of offensive rhythm. Offense isn't something you can just switch on and off when you need it.

Anyway, that's all I've got for now. Our next two opponents are theoretically a bit easier than Olastor, but you should all feel free to tell me how wrong I am about everything in the comments.

Until next time, I'm Salwan, you're not. Keep reading.

Matchday 1:

Illahee  0 - 1  Squornshelan Remnant States
                Vladcik (Geladi) 60'

Man of the Match: Istaro Munib

SRS: Munib; Geladi (Dzarkhin 76'), Raktsov, Oleb, Ystrad, Ulcviecel; Vladcik, Strepol(Y 68') (Hagaz 82'), Damot, Zonde; Ajao

Matchday 2:

Squornshelan Remnant States  1 - 2  Olastor
Strepol (Damot) 35'                 Thing 1 26'
                                    Thing 2 78'

Man of the Match: Thing 2

SRS: Munib; Geladi, Raktsov(Y) (Jzvanic 81'), Oleb, Ystrad (Dzrenin 88'), Ulcviecel; Vladcik, Strepol, Damot, Zonde; Ajao

Squornshelan Remnant States Qualifying Schedule:
MD1:  Illahee 0-1 Squornshelan Remnant States
MD2:  Squornshelan Remnant States 1-2 Olastor
MD3:  @ The South Falls (307)
MD4:  v Geisenfried (UR)
MD5:  @ Pasarga (11)
MD6:  v 95X (50)
MD7:  @ Vakolicci Haven and Celeria (70)
MD8:  @ Dormill and Stiura (252)
MD9:  v Qasden (27)
MD10: v Illahee (307)
MD11: @ Olastor (110)
MD12: v The South Falls (307)
MD13: @ Geisenfried (UR)
MD14: v Pasarga (11)
MD15: @ 95X (50)
MD16: v Vakolicci Haven and Celeria (70)
MD17: v Dormill and Stiura (252)
MD18: @ Qasden (27)

[South Covello]

Recall Petition Initiated Against John Green

An organization calling itself "Citizens United For Peace" has filed a request to circulate a recall petition against President John Green with the South Covello Elections Committee (SCEC). This organization, led by anti-war activist David Hale, is seeking to recall the President and force a special election to replace him, citing Green's overly militaristic tendencies and the fact that he has increasingly seemed to have gone mad. Under South Covellan law, the group has 180 days to gather a number of signatures equal to 2.5 percent of the number of votes cast in the previous Presidential election. As that number was approximately 58 million, that means approximately 1.45 million eligible voters will need to sign the petition in order for the recall election to be initiated. However, the CU4P organization already claims a vast network of supporters across the country, and that number is expected to grow in the coming weeks and months as the petition circulates. Public sentiment is strongly against President Green at this point, and experts say there is a good chance this petition could succeed. Hale says he is looking to collect at least 2.5 million signatures due to the possibiity that some of them could be invalidated by SCEC for whatever reason, and ideally 3 million. In a country with approximately 60 million eligible voters, that is no small feat. However, they do have 180 days to do it, and pretty much every citizen is opposed to President Green at this point. A recent survey from the South Covello Morning Post showed Green's approval rating at a mere 7 percent, his disapproval at 89 percent, and the remainder undecided. Additionally, a snap poll this morning showed that 53 percent of citizens would support a potential recall.

In the event that the recall petition gathers the requisite number of signatures, an election would be held between 30 and 60 days hence to determine whether Green should stay in power, a simple Yes or No question. A simple majority vote is needed to remove him. At that point, the Presidency would be vacant, the Speaker of the Legislature would be appointed Acting President, and candidates would have 30 days to declare their intent to run by filing a statement of candidacy with SCEC and paying a $500 filing fee. After this, the candidate list will be closed and the election would happen between 30 and 60 days hence. If one candidate gets a majority, they will be elected President to serve the remainder of Green's four year term. If nobody gets 50 percent, the top two candidates will enter a run-off which will be held between 21 and 30 days hence. The one caveat, with Legislative elections scheduled to happen in about nine months, is that any special election may be moved up no more than seven days or back no more than 21 days from the usual range to coincide with a regularly scheduled election, so it is possible this will happen depending on timing.

When asked whether he would consider running for President if Green were successfully recalled, Hale was mum on the matter, saying simply "Let's get President Green out of office first, and then we'll worry about who's going to run and what they're going to do. President Green has failed to focus on South Covello, instead choosing to take out pretty much every leader and government he doesn't like, or at least try to, and that is simply unfortunate and we must put an end to his Presidency before he becomes the monster he claims to be fighting."

President Green gave a statement in response to the failed war proposals and the recall, saying "Once again, I have submitted war proposals against Free Republics, Saintland, Eshan, Ethane, Northwest Kalactin, and Taeshan. These are all nations who must be stopped, these are all menaces to freedom and a free society, and I am going to keep submitting these proposals until the Legislature actually passes them. And if they won't, then I guess they won't be voting on anything else anymore. And you know who else I submitted a war proposal for? The Royal Kingdom of Quebec. They are apparently launching some inquiry into a certain political group known as republicanism. I don't know what that is, but they make up 4 percent of the population and the Quebecois government claims they're all terrorists and is considering imprisoning them all on a prison colony in the middle of who knows where. We cannot allow Quebec to commit a mass genocide like this. First they give the Gregists nukes which they used to destroy everyone and everything, and now they plan on launching a mass genocide/deportation of republicanists or whatever they're called. This is not OK and they must be stopped. All the republicanists want to do is abolish the monarchy. And this is good, because monarchies are bad. They are freedom fighters, and I'm sure they're not all fighting violently either. We must work with the anti-monarchists to overthrow the wicked Quebecois monarchy since no longer may a king or queen sit on the throne and command dictatorship of his or its people. (OOC: President Green is greatly embellishing a response to Queb's RP from the IBC)"

The Legislature, forced to consider the six war proposals yet again, plus a seventh to invade Quebec and overthrow the monarchy, opted to reject them yet again, unanimously as well. Speaker of the Legislautre Darian Clarke was outraged at Green's actions, saying "President Green insists on wasting the Legislature's time yet again, voting on these ridiculous war proposals. Unfortunately, we are duty-bound to vote within 14 days, but next time we are waiting the full 14 days so we do not waste any more of our time. At this point, I enthusiastically support the recall of President Green and have signed the petition as a private citizen, as have most of my colleagues. Given the people have already opted to initiate a recall, we do not anticipate impeachment at this time - this is in the people's hands right now, as they have chosen. But I strongly hope, as a private citizen, that President Green is recalled. Young David Hale is right - we need to get our own house in order. Perhaps the young man will even run for President someday, perhaps as soon as this year if we do wind up having a special election. And wouldn't that be special?"

Of course, within minutes of the Legislature rejecting President Green's seven war proposals, he submitted them yet again, a fourth time now for some of them. Although the entire Legislature made it very clear they plan on rejecting the proposals and cautioned nations mentioned in them to avoid a preemptive strike lest they give President Green justification for his actions, they also stated they would be waiting the full 14 days to avoid continaully wasting time for this and so they can deal with other business and not tie up the Legislature with repeated, ridiculous votes on the subject. Right now, it looks like those nations have heeded the Legislature's warnings, but some national security agents have speculated that one of the nations may misconstrue the signs and try something stupid like launch an invasion. That would indeed be unfortunate, and the blood would be on President Green's hands for trying something as ridiculous as this.

(OOC: Yes, the Legislature is going to reject the war proposals yet again. Please don't try anything stupid like invading us or bombing us. It won't end well for you and is totally unnecessary. Feel free to write an RP in response though.)

[Dreamplanet]

MIXED START FOR DREAMPLANET

DREAMPLANET 1-2 JERUSELEM

Antonio Luis equalising for Dreamplanet in the 65th minute.

Os Tricores welcomed Jeruselem to the Estadio de Libon for the opening game of the World Cup Qualifying campaign, the stadium was packed as the Dreamplanetians eagerly awaited the return of the national team. Dreamplanet's first chance came in the 7th minute as Luis Silva orchestrated a counter-attack, however Aaron Hungar hit the shot over the bar.

Not much happened since then until Dreamplanet got a penalty in the 17th minute, Luis Silva stepped up and, unlike previous penalties, missed, the counter-attack blew Dreamplanet out of the water as they weren't able to prevent the first Jeruselem goal.
However that wouldn't be all that for the first half as Dreamplanet upped the tempo in order to try to get a goal before the half, the biggest of those chances was when Luis Silva broke through the Jerusalem defence, shot it past the goalkeeper, however it clipped the bar and as it went out it hit the goal line, many believed that Dreamplanet were level, however it did not cross the line. It was 1-0 to Jeruselem at the break.
The Dreamplanetian attack was able to make the Jerusalem defence very nervous, leading to a defender passing the ball to subsitute Paulo Figueiredo, who scored with his first kick of the game.
Jerusalem had some chances of their own in a very attack-minded game, however Filipe Vaz was able to hold his own until the 86th minute, where Jeruselem scored from a direct free kick, causing Dreamplanet to have the worst possible start.

LYCRABON 1-1 DREAMPLANET

Dreamplanet shellshocked by Lycrabon opener.

Dreamplanet knew that a win was on the cards against fellow unranked team Lycrabon, and Dreamplanet expected a comfortable win to reflect that, however the home team had the surprise opener after an own goal from Filipe Vaz as he spilled an easy shot from the Lycrabon forward, making matters even more complicated for Dreamplanet, who already had a chance to humble a bigger team in their opening game.

Dreamplanet fought hard to respond however, and got their wish in the 39th minute with Luis Silva's first goal of the campaign after a pass from Jorge Resende gave him an easy tap-in. However for the second half, Os Tricores were stopped by a defensive Lycrabon, deciding to park the bus to rob a point from Dreamplanet, and that's how the scores stood.

Dreamplanet is yet to pick up their first win of the season, however they'll be kicking themselves for missing their chance against Lycrabon, the road only gets harder from here.

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

The Tale of Wiggles and the Mysterious Mundy Memo

One fine bunny day, Wiggles - captain of the Holy Empire football team - was hopping through a sun-kissed meadow munching on a carrot when he saw an envelope sitting by the side of the burrow of his good bunny friend Twitch.

"Someone must have dropped this accidentally" thought Wiggles "for no one litters in Fluffy Bunny World; we are all too nice and neat and tidy".

But to his surprise, he saw that the envelope was addressed to him!

Across the front was written "KONFIDENTUAL. FOR WIGELS"

With his bunny whiskers all a-flutter in anticipation, Wiggles used his bunny paws to open the envelope, and goodness what a surprise he had. Inside was a memo on the official stationery of the World Cup 81 hosts! 'Stationery' is a big long word that means 'official written stuff', so he knew this was super important.

The mysterious mundy memo read as follows:

Dear World Cup Referees

You'll have noticed that those Holy Empire bunnies are back in the World Cup.

We know that they're absolutely adorable, but please don't forget that the rules apply to them as much as they apply to any other team. Just because they twitch their whiskers and bunny ears at you right after a cynical foul against the opposition doesn't mean you should let them off the hook.

Card them.

Call fouls against them.

Assume that if they're going out of their way to look incredibly innocent, they're probably guilty as sin.

Referee accordingly.

Well, you can imagine how shocked Whiskers was to discover that this mean and nasty mysterious mundy memo was signed by a Very Important Member of the World Cup 81 organising committee!

Clearly this was someone who didn't like bunnies; can you imagine?

Whiskers went and told the rest of the team right away, and they were as shocked as he was.

When it came to the match against Romaian, the cute fluffy bunnies just weren't themselves; and the fact that the opposition had cynically copied the Holy Empire's flag in a case of what the bunny lawyers called 'flagrant copyright violation of the best-known flag in the whole multiverse'* only left the bunnies even more confused and out of sorts. Even a half-time snack of hot buttered carrots (hmmmmm... hot. buttered. carrots.) couldn't perk them up.

So Mr Tzimisces was most upset when the bunnies ended up losing 1-0 to a team ranked 190-somethingth in the multiverse. Why, they hadn't committed a single foul in the whole 90 minutes!

But afterwards Wiggles realised that the really big mystery was... just who had left the memo lying by Twitch's burrow? And how had they known how to find him?

Perhaps he should try and find out....

With that thought, he perked up, and vowed to wreak unholy vengeance on the next team they played in the qualifiers.

Unless it was Apox.

Bunnies like Apox.

Hippity-hop, hippity-hop, into the burrow.



* OOC - this is a purely IC statement; I'm absolutely not OOC'ly claiming a right to be the only person who can use a version of the late Byzantine flag