The Bantland Gladiatorial Arena

[Schreiner]

It has finally happened; all of the major world leaders gather together in the heavily guarded arena. The large, heavily diverse crowd of citizens were led in a single file line into the stands and took their seats as they pleased. The contestants of the tournament are sat in the bunker together, waiting for their turn to fight. The prize for winning the tournament is the extremely valuable Rare Pepe; which gives the nation's leader the ability to buy lands and trade with other nations. The fight is to the death, and there are no rules of conduct within the fight.

The first two contestants are Big Brother, equipped with a Makarov and pure fear. His opponent is Cute Neko, a newcomer with no fighting skills and without a weapon of her own.

[I own u land]

Big brother takes his place in the arena and receives much fanfare from the Ownlandian people here to cheer him on.
He will not disappoint them.

[I own u land]

I make a b line towards the puny cat.
This will be an easy battle

[Schreiner]

I make a b line towards the puny cat.
This will be an easy battle

The neko, oblivious to what she got herself into immediately goes straight ahead. but she is not very fast, so she goes only just out of the gates.

[I own u land]

I make a b line towards the puny cat.
This will be an easy battle

The neko, oblivious to what she got herself into immediately goes straight ahead. but she is not very fast, so she goes only just out of the gates.

I keep moving forward to the smell of the pussy

[Schreiner]

As he moves forward, so does the Neko with reckless abandon

[Schreiner]

To take advantage of his range and cute neko's lack of climbing ability, Big Brother takes to climbing a cross-shaped platform. All the while, Neko still moves forward, no plan or strategy in mind. Big Brother then decided to move forward even further, moving to the edge of the platform, safe from any chance of harm at the hands of his opponent. Neko, devoid of all logic, still moves forward despite the danger that is now visible up ahead. Astonishingly, Big Brother tends to think that he is in no danger at all, and decides to hop down from his high-ground advantage, apparently wanting to take Neko on even footing. Startled, the Neko tries to dash to the side as fast as she can. As she runs, Big Brother loads his gun, preparing for the first offensive move of the tournament. The Neko tries to zigzag toward the large, intimidating champion to try and get the first swipe at him. Not one to be scared of such tactics, he moves in an L-shape to intercept her, he is almost in range to shoot. Neko tries to stay out of range of the gun in her zig-zagging. This is to no avail, however. Big Brother shoots her between the eyes at point-blank range, throwing her bloody head back hard onto the ground, killing her instantly.

[Fren Republic]

Justin Beyurself saunters into the stadium, enjoying the eyes of thousands of spectators all focused on his rippling muscles. He takes a quick glance into his mirror-like Club and adjusts his pompadour before surveying his surroundings.

[Schreiner]

Next on the roster is Justin Beyourself, the champion of a small tribe in Fren Republic and Florentin Akemi, the zealous empire fearmonger of New Francia.

Florentin leaps out of the gate in a straight line to the right with his massive movement advantage. Justin, on the other hand, eyes more focused on his own reflection in his club than the arena laid out in front of him. Florentin moves in between the two obstacles on the map, covering himself from all but the back. Justin moves in an L-shape to his left, avoiding the covered area. Florentin continues to sneak around the cover area, wanting to take him by surprise. Seemingly oblivious, Justin still drifts to the left, and Florentin is nearly out of the cover. Keeping his eyes on the opponent, Justin steps back forcing Niko to close the gap himself. Finally, they approach each other, Florentin making the first offensive move of the round. Justin ducks underneath the hammer's swing, exposing his tight rear end for all the fangirls in the process. He then swings his club upwards with all his might, aiming for Florentin's chin. It clips his chin, if it weren't for his massive resilience, it would have easily broken his jaw. Florentin is visibly confused at the speed of his opponent as he fails to hit him again. Justin feels the breeze from that last swing, silently thanking his mother for the nimble legs she passed down to him. He keeps trying to break through Florentin's iron defenses. Luckily, he strikes the temple directly, causing him some moderate pain. Justin kisses the end of his club for the luck it has blessed him with that last attack. Florentin tries desperately to hit Justin, but he misses and Justin uses the opportunity to slam down on his back. Florentin stumbles to his feet and swings again, only to have it be dodged, and his back attacked again. Not having scratched his opponent he doesn't even think about changing his tactics and swings his hammer yet again. Amusingly, Justin blocks it just in time with his hammer. Justin shakes his right wrist to soothe the pain from deflecting that blow. He then immediately swings the club into Florentin's gut, knocking the wind out of him. First, he missed the blow that was foretold by Lenin himself now he's grasping onto the last straws of his ideologies as he prepares to try to force his hammer into the skull of his enemy. He misses. So a crushing blow is landed onto the skull of the fighter. Leaving him barely alive but unconscious, Justin smiles at the conviction of his opponent, vowing not to dishonor him by going easy. As the frens in the crowd cheer in a frenzy, Justin stows away his club and lifts Florentin over his back, showing his respect by carrying him straight to the onsite hospital.

[Fren Republic]

Justin rushes back from the bathroom and takes his seat on the Victor's bench, hoping he made it before the next fight started. He tries to ignore the tension rising between him and Big Brother next to him as they both know it's only a matter of time before their turn comes around.

[Schreiner]

Up next is the tribal Snek Assassin, William Saigas equipped with a poison dagger, and his opponent, Tim Tam with his winged mace.

William decides to sidewind around the area, patiently waiting for his new opponent. Tim Tam makes an L-shape sidestep to his right. William heads to the far right cover nearest to him. Tim Tam moves 5 paces to his left downwards, playing the game of positioning. William moves five paces over to the corner of the center cover. Tim moves 5 paces to his left and over to the corner for cover. Brandishing the dagger, William climbs up the wall of the cover. Tim places his mace on the adjacent wall then climbs up it. Pacing five steps, William walks toward the edge, maintaining a safe distance away from Tim, finally getting a glimpse at him, sizing him up. Tim moves to left and positions himself away from William. William sidesteps to the other end of the ledge to see if his opponent tries to flank him from that side. Tim moves forward one step then places his mace on top of the higher ledge and climb it. William jumps down the cover and hugs the wall of the adjacent object. Tim retreats to the lower end on the other side, leaving William open to climbing up the first ledge. Tim moves down a pace, gripping his mace. William runs a corner, waiting to attack Tim. Tim wanting to get the upper hand gently places his mace on the side of the silver wall then tries to climb the wall as quietly as he can. Once up there he slowly reaches down and grabs it. Tim tam slowly creeps forward holding his mace ready to attack. Focusing, William focuses in on all of his senses to prepare his attack. Tim walks forward to the ledge and raises his mace above his head ready to clobber, he leaps down to attack from above but William easily dodges and steps back one. He lunges with his knife aimed for Tim's torso, but Tim dodges and prepares for his own attack. He winds up for an attack and aims for a sweeping motion on William's legs. William dodges and gives a spinning elbow to the stomach. Tim Tam aims for a diagonal attack on William's right shoulder. He narrowly dodges the attack and takes four steps back to regain distance. Tim Tam takes this opportunity to climb the silver wall. William uses this opportunity as his own to bless the poisoned dagger, as the people of his tribe do in such a worthy battle. Tim runs along the edge and aims to hit William's head as he runs by. WIthout much effort, William bends over backward and narrowly misses the wings that graze by his face. Tim Tam moves back two paces to try and catch his breath and plan his attack. William follows him to the corner where he rested. Tim takes a step back then runs and tries to perform yet another dive attack. William misdirects the mace using the hilt of his dagger, but the greater weight being directed all at his wrist nearly breaks it. William quickly jabs his dagger towards Tim's torso. Tim is grazed by the blade but he dodges the majority of the weapon. He moves his hands up my mace and jams the butt of the mace into William's gut to try and make him lose his breath. William dodges yet again and tries swiping the blade across Tim's arm. Tim bats away on instinct but gets his hand cut by the blade. Tim Tam quickly gets his mace into postilion an aims to bat William in the head, which he finally lands a successful hit. William, blinded by pain, lurches forward and jabs at Tim's face. William jams the blade directly into Tim's mouth, poisoning him with snek venom. Tm aims to wack William in the legs in an attempt to make him lose his balance and fall. William maintains his stability but is too caught up by the pain to react quick enough to get his shot in. Tim tries to use this to his opportunity but William disengages the moment before he could strike. William tries to stab his dagger into the arm of his opponent. William lodged the dagger into his opponent's arm, twisting it before pulling down hard, tearing down his skin and also throwing him off the cover they used as the battle ground, watching him seize from the envenomation of his now exposed veins. He won the round and had further honored Schreiner and his tribe doing so.

[Schreiner]

Up next is Harold McNamara from Amuritopia and Goodwin from Goodwinland

At the gates, Harold loads his flintlock rifle. Goodwin takes this chance and rushes forward and then climbs a structure. Harold McNamara maneuvers his way to the side. Goodwin moves to the edge behind him. Harold McNamara makes his way behind the structure to his left. Goodwin climbs down from the structure. Harold McNamara continues his way to the left and then climbs a structure. Goodwin moves backward to avoid incoming fire. Harold prepares to climb down and chase his target. Goodwin moves behind the structure behind him as Harold climbs down the structure. Goodwin also moves forward. He feels lady luck has got his back on this one. Harold moves forward just a tad to get a view of his surroundings. Goodwin stays in place, knowing when to ambush. Harold sprints as fast as he can to move at an accelerated rate. Goodwin lunges forward with his lawnmower blade. Goodwin's blade grazes against the skin. though it does not draw blood, it poisons him. Harold moves backward a little, rifle in hand. Having no other alternative, Goodwin rushes toward him and swings. It misses, but Harold fires a shot, hitting Goodwin in the shoulder. Goodwin shrugs this off and lunges yet again, slashing across his gut. Harold moves toward the structure, but Goodwin fucking slices him down his back, killing him first.

[Schreiner]

Next is Leafman, the sentient leaf with a foreboding rake as a weapon and Anti-Bully Ranger, the champion of 4Chinland.

THE COWARDLY LEAFMAN jumps out of the gate in a panic as the roar of the audience makes him nearly quiver. The anti-bully ranger from 4chinland advances forward. Leafman skitters shyly across the playing field and runs towards the cross 4 down 1 left. The anti-bully ranger from 4chinland maneuvres around the center structure towards her opponent. The Leafman senses an anime fg around the corner he eagerly runs towards the sound. The anti-bully ranger continues her advance, unable to climb over the structure she has no choice but to go around. The Leafman awkwardly clambers on top of the mound so he can see his opponent. The anti-bully ranger gets as close to her opponent as she can, however, due to her small size limiting her she is unable to reach him. The Leafman being a coward as he is tries to get an angle from above. The anti-bully ranger sees what her opponent is trying to do and moves to a more favorable battlefield, without any structures. The Leafman neurotically watches as the Anti-bully scampers in the distance he evades and runs as far away as possible. The anti-bully ranger decides to move closer so she can ambushLleafman once he jumps down, or watch as he succumbs to the poison from above. Leafman, hears a faint hissing noise up above just like his great uncle Goldstein warned him about. He squeals and runs off of the mound. Leafman see's the anti-bully in the corner of his eye and he set's his sights towards her gate. She corners him, and with nowhere to go.. leafman pulls out his rake and prepares for battle pre-emptively and lunges, stabbing the girl lightly. The anti-bully ranger unleashes a devastating counter-attack. Leafman swipes with a rusty rake, but Anti-Bully Ranger dodges. Anti-Bully Ranger just continues her assault and Leafman pushes away, leaving Anti-Bully Ranger to continue still. The anti-bully ranger attempts a different attack this time, one which Leafman was not able to counter. Leafman grabs one poisonous prong and tries to stab 4chin directly in the chest with hit. Anti-Bully Ranger pushes him away. Leafman retaliates and attacks once again. anti bully ranger attempts to dodge, which she does. such is the benefit of being so small. anti bully ranger lifts the massive 2 handed sword above her head to attack Leafman like a guillotine, striking him on the shoulder. Leafman desperately lunges, but Anti-Bully grabs the rake and beats the butt against his face. Leafman, bloodied and battered shrieks and repeatedly swings blindly in a fury of rake swipes, hitting her once on the head. The anti-bully ranger attempts to put Leafman out of his misery, which she does successfully, cleaving him in half. now standing over Leafman's bloodied broken corpse anti-bully ranger looks off into the distance, on this day all bullies shuddered. Leafman for one final second, shits himself on the floor and shitposts "/bant/ is a Canadian board".

[4chinland]

wow, reading that now without all our shitposting in between, that fight between me and the leaf was extremely one sided, like "Broly vs the Z fighters" level one sided.

anti bully ranger is a cute anime loli with a sword as big as Guts' one btw

[Amyrosia]

I hate to butt in, but what in the world of all things sacred is this?

NS Sports is for traditional sporting competitions (soccer, basketball, baseball, and the like). Perhaps you were looking for International Incidents?

On top of that, this is an in-character board; real-life nations (unless they are specifically part of a new nation or region defined in the RP) don't actually exist here.

[Schreiner]

I hate to butt in, but what in the world of all things sacred is this?

NS Sports is for traditional sporting competitions (soccer, basketball, baseball, and the like). Perhaps you were looking for International Incidents?

On top of that, this is an in-character board; real-life nations (unless they are specifically part of a new nation or region defined in the RP) don't actually exist here.

It's all good. Also this is private. So get lost pls. And another thing, there are no real nations here. So before you come on to a private thread and tell us how we are doing things wrong over such a minor technicality, please stop and think before doing something like this again. K thx bye.

[Schreiner]

The two winners of their respective rounds; The Assassin William Saigas and the Industrial Beast [Error 404 file not found] take the arena.

William, hardened from his close battle with Tim Tam makes no rash movements and decides to creep out of the gate and move to his left. [Error 404 file not found] makes his way to his right toward the black structure. William steps his way near the electric fencing, the buzzing of the current making his hair stand on end. [Error 404 file not found] keeps heading toward the black structure. William sandwiches himself between the large structure and the safe zone of the large cube that inhabits the arena. [Error 404 file not found] prepares to climb atop the structure, and William climbs the safezone of the cube. [Error 404 file not found] climbs atop the structure, but upon William seeing him, he steps back slowly to maintain a safe distance at all times. [Error 404 file not found] heads forward at a modest pace. William prepares to leap forward to meet his foe. [Error 404 file not found] beckons for his opponent to come forth. Not one to play to his opponent's games, William changes position to leap onto the higher platform where he will be safe. [Error 404 file not found] moves forward slowly, trying to observe his opponent's movements. Being a nimble, agile assassin, William had no issue leaping to the second platform. [Error 404 file not found] continues moving forward, cautiously. All the while, William casually brandishes his Dirk, dripping with Snek venom, casually sauntering over to Error's position. [Error 404 file not found] keeps a fixed position and waits for any movements from his opponent. Grinning in what seems to be some twisted, perverted amusement, William decides to leap to the adjacent platform. [Error 404 file not found] rushes toward the middle structure and in response, William leaps down, wanting to meet his foe while he is on the run. [Error 404 file not found] seizing the opportunity, rushes toward his opponent and strikes with his lawnmower blade, hitting him. Luckily it only grazed William, and his years of Snek immunity training helped him stave off the effects of the poison. [Error 404 file not found] swings his blade at his opponent again, luckily William deflects it this time, misdirecting the blade and uses the opening to stab the Dirk into his torso, but his opponent twists his body out of the way in the nick of time. [Error 404 file not found] swings yet again at his opponent, but William deflects yet again. William repositions himself and attempts to kick his opponent in the torso to knock him off the ledge, but yet again, his nimble opponent twists out of the way. [Error 404 file not found] swings his blade with fury in his eyes, but William easily ducks under and thrusts his Dirk yet again, which he misses, yet again. [Error 404 file not found] swings with even more rage, for missing his ultra-powerful swing last time, but William maneuvres around the blade and kicks him in the head. [Error 404 file not found] uhhhhh i forgot... oh yeah! strikes again, hoping to whomever that it actually does shit this time, and it nearly does, but William barely dodges in time. In frustration, William tries to land another kick to launch his foe off the edge. Yet again, he misses pathetically. [Error 404 file not found] recovers and swings for the 10000th time, which William deflects. To catch his breath. William leaps backward to the platform behind him. [Error 404 file not found] rushes toward his left, keeping an eye on his opponent. Having recovered himself, William casually steps to his side off of the high platform. Wanting to avoid his opponent getting the upper hand, [Error 404 file not found] steps down from the platform. Oozing with a newfound bloodlust given to him by his ancient ancestors, William walks toward the ledge with a purpose. [Error 404 file not found] heads to the lower corner of the other platform. William follows suit. [Error 404 file not found] gets on top of the structure, and William leaps to that very same structure, an intense, savage look in his eyes. [Error 404 file not found] repositions and throws a kick to his opponent to knock him off. William casually sidesteps and coldly swipes the dirk blade at the foe. But he misses yet again. [Error 404 file not found] repositions again and kicks his opponent, William grabs him by the leg and tries to throw him against the buzzing electrical fence. Error 404 file not found] counters his attack and attempts to kick him off into the electric fence. Shivering with the jolts of electricity, William cannot move for but a second, his opponent must take initiative now. [Error 404 file not found] swings his sword at his electrified opponent, but William barely manages to roll away, slashing at his heels at the same time. But he merely raises his foot. [Error 404 file not found] repositions and swings his blade, but he forgot about his surroundings. William takes his arm and spins him around, putting him in the fence and positioning himself in the center. Taking the opportunity, William holds his opponent with his feet and tries to plunge his dirk into his belly. He finally succeeds, but pulls away before the blade went deep as the staggered Error thrashed around before getting up. [Error 404 file not found] repositions, wanting to avoid that spooky shit and swings his blade at his opponent, Chuckling, William casually moves his head away from the fast-moving blade. Seeing his arm exposed, William immediately swung his own blade up, only intending to scratch it. He misses, but the counter his opponent made was successful. William, furious, intends to jab the blade into Error's mouth. But he misses yet again. [Error 404 file not found] swiftly dodges the oncoming blow and swings his blade again. William dodges, giving a spinning elbow to the eye. [Error 404 file not found] with a S E E T H I N G rage, swings his mighty blade again. William narrowly dodges and spins behind his enraged foe, planning to send the Dirk straight into his shoulder blade. [Error 404 file not found] turning behind his agile opponent, counters his absurd move. Out of desperation, he slashes madly at his foe's torso. Error can feel the Snek venom course through his veins, an agonizing wave of pain occurs with each heartbeat. He does not have much time until he collapses. William smirks and just stands there. [Error 404 file not found] barely standing, swings his blade at his bloodthirsty opponent. William just takes one step back, smirking at his doomed opponent. [Error 404 file not found] hoping to do what he can, walks towards his opponent and gives a final swing. William grabs Error by the shirt, basically a corpse by now, and throws the body off the ledge. He wipes off his dagger and casually hops down from the ledge and toward the gate.

[Schreiner]

Now for round 3: the undefeated William Saigas against the untouchable Justin Beyourself from the Beyourself Tribe.

Having watched Justin slaughter his opponents without much difficulty, William knows to be more careful with him than his other two worthy opponents. He moves six paces near a platform. The first thing Justin notices is the putrid odor lingering over the arena, giving him a new feeling of foreboding. He steps out of the gate cautiously, knowing this is one enemy who could strike from anywhere at any time. William leaps up the platform with ease and walks around the poison area. he hears a hissing sound, telling of the trouble it will cause later. Justin spots one of those chemical hazard signs from his science class and curses his luck. It figures that the one poison-based enemy he fights would be in an arena full of toxic shit. Raising his club to keep an eye on his back, he notices something even more horrifying - his face is all scrunched up in disgust! Justin hurriedly composes himself, silently hoping that no one in the audience took any unflattering pictures. William runs across the platform to his opponent's side. Justin is about to move forward but is taken aback by the sudden release of poison gas! He takes a tentative step to the side instead. In a surprising move of boldness, William steps down right across from his foe, brandishing his blade. They can both smell the stench of the poison from earlier mingling with the scent of the poison on his blade. Justin is pleasantly surprised at his opponent's bluntness, but the time when he'd have rushed in blindly has already passed. Instead, he charges forward in a faint, only to maneuver opposite the wall before lashing out with his club. Winded but not phased, William whirls around him and tries slashing at his side in the process. Justin swivels underneath the blade's arc, though he can clearly see the difference in speed and skill between William and his previous opponents. He responds in kind with a swipe to the legs, hoping to cripple his enemy's speed. William, however, just kicks in his ankle and trips him up. Justin's left leg buckles and he goes down on one knee, his body's sweaty defense mechanism already kicking in from the adrenaline. He steps back to regain his composure but then opts to charge his opponent directly instead of giving him the chance to escape. William simply bats his arm out of the way, however, and prepares for his opponent's next assault. Justin had his doubts. He knew that William must be waiting for his chance, as he had seen him turn the tables many times before. But he was already close to victory, all he needed was one lucky strike to place himself firmly in the lead and a second to end the battle entirely. William stumbled back in pain but dashes toward the poison gas, knowing he would be immune to the next spray. Oh shit, how long had it been since the last gas attack? Even if Justin's cursed frog-like body has a damn good immune system, he decides to play it safe and moves closer to the wall. William dashes forward and thrusts toward his middle. Justin had moved to the wall for a reason. Instead of dodging backward, he instead quickly closes the distance and attempts to pin William to the wall with a counter. Justin dodges and tries to slash his arm. Well fuck, Justin tries to move his arm behind his back in the split second before his veins get slashed just like that other poor bastard. Justin's eyes stay closed for what seems like ages, anticipating the stabbing pain of a knife in his back. When they finally open, it's to the image of a William shaped hole in the wall with his opponent slumped to the ground in front of it. With a huge sigh of relief, Justin tries to strike a pose with a witty one-liner, only to slip on the newly-lubricated floor and bang his head.