World Cup 80 • EqueStar • Roleplay Thread

by **Northwest Kalactin** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 2:52 pm

That was impressive we tied one of the better teams in the world. The free republics is a good team that is ranked in the 40s.

Free Republics 1-1 Northwest Kalactin

Rosters
FREE REPUBLICS
NORTHWEST KALACTIN
Luke Dillan
Jared Sednah
Midfielders: Jack Flemister
Steve Gilbert
Frank owens
Will Sanders
Backs: Gibson Fernandez
Hue Grebv
Matt Hall
Jack Dakota
Goalkeeper: Wendell Jakerein

GK: #1 Stig Roivas
RB: #2 Ralf Schroder
CB: #3 Zak Josef
LB: #4 Vaclav Urbanek
CDM: #5 Maxim Izmailov
LM: #6 Usman Eldarkhanov
RM: #7 Lecha Arsanukayev
CAM: #8 Johnny Smith
ST: #9 Porbergur Lydsson
ST: #10 Love Holm
ST: #11 Kalervo Peltola

Minute 3: Jared Sednah has a chance after Doing a skill move to get by free republican defender Zak Josef but goalie Stig Roivas stops the ball.

Minute 10: Gibson Fernandez does a bad clearance and gives the ball to the free republicans but Republican CAM Johnny smith misses the net.

Minute 27: goal for the free republicans as Kalervo Peltola scores on a penalty kick.

Minute 45+3: Maxium Izmailov gets a minor injury that takes him out of the game for 1 minute before half time.

Minute 61: the kalactanians score on a free kick Jared Sednah crosses it into the box and Luke Dillan heads it in.

Minute 83: the kalactanians get a breakaway but Steve Gilbert misses the shot.

Minute 89: Matt Hall gets subbed out for Walter Johnson.

Minute 90+4: the game ends

And there you have it see you later

by **Tobiasia** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 2:54 pm

North New South Wales 3–4 Tobiasia

Phew! Tobiasia just made it to victory in an extremely close match at the Ark of Tobiasia.

The first goal came in the 12th minute from Rosa Uzele with a shot from 20 yards through the legs of the keeper. The fans at the Ark began to cheer in joy at the opener, but just 3 minutes later an equaliser hurled in from an NNSW player, taking Percy Matthews by surprise. The fans were further shocked by another defensive error by Frank Woods led to an easy tap in by a NNSW striker in the 29th minute.

By now the defence was shaken, and a rash tackle by Goldsmith led to a free kick which was smashed into the top corner by the opposition team. Most of the 95,000 spectators fell silent at this unexpected result, but after half time the team was rejuvenated.

New subs were brought on - Yun instead of Eastgate and Hitchcock for Woods. Captain Fraser Philips began a new style of play, hard pressing up the field with the wingers using the width of the pitch. At the 63rd minute Lee Ryans stormed into the box and hammered the ball into the keeper, causing it to bounce back into the area where Harry Lithgow drove it home into the bottom left corner.

As the sun beat down on players and fans, the clock dragged on until it reached 85’. At this point, Zeya launched a long ball to Slim, who passed it to Yun, to Lithgow, then across to Uzele and volleyed by Philips straight into the goal over the keepers head from 34 yards.

The minutes still ticked on and it looked like a certain draw, but in the dying moments of the game Ryans had a stunning run. He launched an attack, getting through two defenders until he fired the ball at the goalkeeper, who knocked the ball back out and off the pitch. The Tobiasians now had a corner in the 92nd minute. Goldsmith took the kick, and crossed the ball into the box where Philips beautifully headed it into the top right corner.

The game ended minutes later, and the Tobiasian fans were back on their feet waving flags and singing. However there are still questions to be asked about how such a low ranked team nearly brought Tobiasia to its knees today, but all in all a fantastic game and 3 points is still 3 points.

The win brings the Tigers top of their group ~~above Juvencus~~, and the team have a lot of training to do before their next game to ensure they do not falter against heavier opposition. For now, however, the team will be pleased to grab the win, and the fans will be drinking and raving until the small hours of the morning we can assure.

by **Ashkam** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 3:05 pm

ASHKAM UPSETS NUMBER FIVE EURA 3-2 ON THE ROAD TO OPEN CYCLE

EURA --- Ashkam’s heroes are victorious after one game, pulling off a legendary upset over the fifth ranked team in the World Cup standings. Perhaps the Football Federation of Ashkam was correct when officials claimed that the nation was being underestimated, as it entered the tournament with a lack of a rank and was picked by some foreign media outlets as one of the most unknown and/or worst teams in the qualifying cycle. The match was broadcast in public squares across Ashkamite cities, most notably in the capital, where Honorable Chairman Rada Tanai engaged in a pre match pep rally with the city’s citizens and burnt a giant wooden pig with the Euran flag painted on the side.

This, of course, is because Eura is an enemy capitalist nation and one of the largest ones in the world, with more than two billion people living under its oppressive economic and political system. Chants of “Eura Warmonger” could also be heard at both the rally and at the upper decks of the stadium, where the Ashkamite government funded a trip for 750 members of the Crimson Army to travel to Eura and cheer on the team. The players were motivated heavily by the support and showed it in their performance, as they took the match to the capitalists and showed no fear towards the higher ranked nation.

The Hammerers were off to a flying start when Corey Hariri beat the offside line in the third minute and was fed a pass over the top from Michael Ledes, which he chipped behind keeper Robert Griffin after a single touch. As it turned out, the precision and skill taught by the communist football schools came in handy for Hariri, who finished calmly and celebrated by bowing down in the direction of the Haskari mountain range, the birthplace of Eternal Leader Rusen Tanai and Honorable Chairman Rada Tanai.

Wise manager Dren Husali did not order the Hammerers to sit back after scoring, however. The Ashkamite team only picked up the pace after the goal and kept the capitalists on the back foot, allowing strikers Corey Hariri and Dan Ransom to register four more shots in the next eight minutes. The Euran team struck back aggressively and forced goalkeeper Esa Jah to save two shots from forward Dean Sharp in the last ten minutes of the half. But Jah was a wall for the end of the half, and Ashkam went into the locker rooms up 1-0 despite playing on the road.

Temporary setbacks were suffered at the very start of the second half, when defender Bryan Butler booted the ball downfield and Dean Sharp beat Vae Haley to the header, allowing Sharp to get a free shot on goal and tie the match for the home side. Suddenly, the result was in peril for the Ashkamite team, which learned the effects of showing fear for the first time. The host team pressured Ashkam and prevented the Ashkamite attack from getting off any more shots for the first twenty minutes of the half. Sixty minutes into the match, Lofty Jones whipped the ball into the box for Josh Holmes, who finished the chance after finding himself unmarked due to Timofey Carone tripping and falling.

Eura now led the match 2-1, but Dren Husali revised the team’s game plan and brought on Audrey Kazma and Martin Majala as substitutes. Majala made a quick impact, and in the sixty eighth minute, he completed a one two sequence with Evgeni Hasakhan and placed the ball just next to the post to tie the match for Ashkam. Dren Husali pushed the tempo further for Ashkam and switched to a 3-3-4 formation with Saki Felles and Dan Ransom playing wide while Martin Majala and Armen Farak manned the middle. Farak and Majala generated a number of shots but failed to find the goal, hitting the post once and having multiple attempts saved by Griffin.

Ashkam’s breakthrough came in the seventy sixth minute when Quebec born midfielder Audrey Kazma gained control of the ball at the edge of the box and attempted to volley it to Martin Majala. However, the ball went off of the arm of Ben Hall, causing the referee to signal for a penalty. The fans in the stadium were immediately outraged, and neutral fans watching the match on television began to comment online that Kazma had kicked the ball into Hall’s arm to draw a penalty. Euran players protested to the referee, but the decision was final and Kazma stepped up to take the penalty, to the sound of resounding whistles and jeers around the stadium.

Despite the lack of sportsmanship from Ashkam’s capitalist pig opponents and their fans, Kazma calmly scored the penalty kick and celebrated by running down the sideline and crossing herself, a gesture that will surely be controversial in the mostly atheist Ashkam. Kazma can be forgiven for the gesture because of her foreign birth, however, and will go down as the hero of the match.

Eura went on the attack after the goal from Ashkam and would have one last good chance to get a point from the match. Lofty Jones beat Vae Haley one on one and aimed for the top corner, but an acrobatic parry from Esa Jah knocked the ball back into play, where Timofey Carone cleared the ball deep down the pitch. Eura had one more volley downfield and sent everyone towards the box, but Peter Kahvanen headed the ball clear of danger and the referee blew for the final whistle after three minutes of extra time. The Ashkamite bench ran onto the pitch to the sound of stunned silence from a home crowd not used to losing to low ranked nations at home, and some of the more iconic moments in Ashkamite sports history were captured at that moment.

“It was business as usual for us,” said manager Dren Husali in the post match press conference. “The rest of the world can talk about our political system or our leaders all they want, I’m sure the Euran players were laughing at us for that until they saw what the training from communist football schools did to them. And they can say whatever they want about the penalty decision. They’re the ones that let it get to that point, where Audrey could win the match with a penalty, and the Chairman is getting the last laugh in the end because we have the three points. We’re going to fly back to Ashkam, celebrate, and then it’s back to work.”

by **Ashkam** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 3:08 pm

Five Hundred Warriors

Chapter Two

“B on her face, shank on her waist
Shitden, I think I'm in love
Opps, cops, thots
Just wanting me cuffed…”

“You say you’re from Quebec?” asked the person at the airport customs desk, which somehow still existed despite the almost non existent traffic from Ashkam to other countries. In Ashkam, it was domestic flights that were tracked for security purposes, and so when someone was actually from a foreign country that wasn’t just the island of Renzhen, it was very surprising for the people working the airport. Not just surprising, but shocking even, the kind of thing that made you pinch yourself and do a double take to make sure that you had heard correctly. The girl on the other side of the desk was a little surprised herself by the reaction, considering she looked like any other Ashkamite citizen.

“I was born in Quebec and I’m flying in from there, yes. But I hold citizenship in Ashkam and I have a waiver from the honorable Chairman Rada Tanai to return to the country and live here,” she stated, handing over her papers that included the waiver and her identification. The worker looked over the name on file. Audrey Kazma. Apparently, she was the new footballer that had went through the allocation process before eventually being assigned to Hesevan SK, which was desperately in need of a star midfielder. The worker looked over the papers in a surprised way, but seemed to believe them and handed them back to Audrey, who slid them into her backpack.

“So you are the player from Quebec, yes? Interesting. In my years working here, I’ve never seen an athlete come here to play. I’ve also never heard a foreigner who speaks a tribal language. Or seen a foreigner that has a waiver directly from the Chairman at all, to be honest. What did you have to do to get that, and why did you decide to come here of all places? Forgive me if asking this seems unprofessional, but there aren’t many times when I would have the chance to ask such a thing,” the worker behind the desk said.

Audrey just shrugged in response, realizing that the strange looks weren’t really that strange in context. This country was closed off to just about the entire world. And that had been changed just for her, because of her talent at sport and the country’s desire to be taken seriously in sports these days. She had also agreed to represent the national team when it began playing, which was a major part of their decision to open the border for her. With Quebec cutting its football program, she didn’t have another choice if she wanted to play football on the biggest stage, at the World Cup. “I was at the academy in Kingston for a bit and I got a call from the FFA because of my Ashkamite ancestry. Both of my parents are from here, they ended up staying in Quebec after going there as laborers. I guess I was a good prospect, and the people in charge in Ashkam decided they wanted me back. Told me I’d play in the Top League and with the national team,” she explained.

The worker nodded in understanding. It was strange to have a conversation here, but it wasn’t like they were holding up the line, which didn’t exist at the moment. The airport was sleepy, even with the large city just to the south of it. The only others in the general area were the guards, which were dressed like soldiers and held automatic rifles that looked more fitting for soldiers than security guards. They never looked in Audrey’s direction or made eye contact, standing stoically at the edges of the room and holding their rifles. “Ah. You picked an interesting time to arrive. There was just a shooting, right outside of this airport. Hasn’t even been two hours since the police took someone away in a body bag.”

“Never thought of this as the type of place that would have shootings,” stated Audrey. With the military style police and the strict laws, she imagined that the government was more of a danger than criminals in Ashkam. But then again, poverty bred crime, and she had heard things about her home country when it comes to poverty… Not good things, from the foreign press that the government told her she should ignore. When talking to them before agreeing to return home, she had asked them about the things she heard and they assured her that it was foreign propaganda. She still didn’t know exactly who to believe.”

“Hesevan is the second most dangerous city in Ashkam, behind Dar Mora. I’m not supposed to talk about things like this, nobody is actually supposed to talk about things like the crime, but I have to tell you since you’re going to move here and I don’t want you to be shocked by it. The west and north areas are filled with gangs, but the entire city… Well, it suffers from poverty in a lot of areas and smuggling has also been a large business here for the last three decades, at least. It doesn’t help that most people here aren’t fans of the government, or the police, since the entire city has a more tribal identity and the government is believed to have erased tribal culture wherever possible,” the worker explained, keeping his voice down to avoid the guards hearing. “The shooting that just happened was directed at someone from Jestana, specifically at a rapper coming in for a show tonight. It’s really an example of the local chauvinism.”

“Hmmm. I think I’ll fit in just fine. I’ve always been close to my tribal roots, it was something my parents made sure of despite how I was born in Quebec. I actually have a rather traditional tattoo on my forearm because of that, and I grew up speaking the language even though I’ve never been here before now-”

“Be careful. If you’re dealing with the national team, and the government by extension, they won’t like it that you show that side of yourself. I would wear sleeves and cover that tattoo if I were you, and I would be careful letting that side out around coaches and players that are from, say, Jestana or CSKA. Even if you don’t intend it that way, it will be seen as stirring up sedition and unrest. Even if you don’t do anything overt.”

“Would I be able to wear anything with the old green, red, and black flag? Or is that considered seditious around here?”

“It is. And the punishment for having it could be swift and harsh. Don’t think that this is paranoia, Audrey. This is the reality around here, and I’m guessing that you have no idea about it because you haven’t been here before. I’m not saying to spend all your time worrying, but I’m telling you to be on your guard and avoid taking things at face value. There’s a lot of unwritten rules here. Knowing them can easily mean your life.”

Great. So they had brought her here for her ancestry, but they would want to lock her up if she expressed her actual heritage at all instead of simply identifying with the Ashkamite nationalism that had risen under communism, the kind that looked down on local identity and instead stressed devotion to the idea of the united Ashkamite nation over everything else. She wondered what the punishment would be. Was it that, being locked up? Or was it just something lighter, like a fine? Or were some of the other rumors true. She kept it in her mind as she left to find her taxi, and somehow, she couldn’t get rid of the sinking feeling in her stomach even as she arrived in the country that she had waited her entire life to see.

by **Silver Beach** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 3:11 pm

The Silver Standard
Silver Beach's #1 source for news!

Silver Beach mark 90th anniversary of first ever World Cup Qualifier with victory over Al Qurija on their return

Silverians celebrate their second goal in a home match against Al Qurija

ZION- The Hebrew Republic is back! After beginning participation in World Cup Qualifying over 90 years ago, all the way back in World Cup 50- when the Silverians went a pretty terrible 2-7-11, earning all of 13 points and finishing in last place in their 11 team World Cup Qualification group. But now, after years and years of going on and off, of entering some, then not entering any, it is clear- Silver Beach is back. Even though we are a country that never qualified for the World Cup Finals, or, indeed, the knockout stages of any WCC competition, this much was clear- Silver Beach had a history. Not a great one, we will say- though, of course, we were there long enough where the Silverian Football Association now holds the right to nominate a player to the Hall of Fame- but quite a history.

It has been 42 years since we participated in a World Cup Qualification tournament- World Cup 66. There are few people old enough to remember the national team at all, especially during its heyday. It went through great moments, having epic rivalries with nations like Tolietdonia, who are languishing in the bowels of history, and Eastfield Lodge, who have long surpassed anything and everything to do with the Hebrew Republic. Of course, that was in a different day and age, when this nation was a warfaring nation, getting involved in more than its fair share of wars, and pushing its weight around abroad, back in those "glory days".

There have been downs- losing 9-1 to Cafendeu in their first ever attempt at World Cup Qualification. There have been really serious downs, including the death of Daniel Adams, one of our managers, at a tournament in Tolietdonia. But here are the facts. Twelve times, have Silver Beach entered World Cup Qualifying. And 12 times, have Silver Beach failed to qualify for the World Cup Finals. We launched World Cup Qualifying Campaigns for 9 straight tournaments, from 50-58. We launched one in World Cup 60, one in World Cup 64, and another in World Cup 66.

It was many years of heartbreak, of some close calls, but of always being proved that Silver Beach simply were not capable of hanging with the big boys. So, we hung up our boots, and stopped participating in World Cup Qualifying. We were good at other sports- college football comes to mind, with St.John's Island back before the war went to the championship game of NSCF 2, and hosted a semifinal in NSCF 4, but we have undergone a period of great transformation as a nation, and needed the isolation. A set of failures on the international stage, including, but certainly not limited to, soccer broke the spirit of the Silverians.

But now, the Silverians have come roaring back. Of course, it is our 13th try to qualify for the World Cup Finals- and while we are not naive enough to think that we can qualify this time, we, of course, are one more set of qualifiers away from a second WCC Hall of Fame nomination. Who will it go to? Longtime superstar Jacob Jenkins? Manager Romeo Juliani? The history of sport in this country is not exactly known as decorated, but you never know the possibilities.

Regardless, let's look at the results on Matchday 1. We reigned victory over regional rivals Al Qurija- earning a 2-0 win in our first World Cup Qualifier in over 40 years. Jessy Margolis scored the opener, slotting home a counter-attacking opportunity in the 56th minute. The second goal of the match, which put the Silverians up 2-0, was Javen Isaaman heading home a cross from Jacobe Gross in the 61st minute. It was a solid start to the campaign. Now I have studied up enough on the World Cup, even though Silver Beach has not been around it, that we won't qualify on this go-around. It is simply impossible for a nation, with this little experience, to qualify for the World Cup Finals.

However, a win is a win, and those are a crucial set of three points. Silver Beach will be licking its chops in this World Cup Qualification group, with two regional rivals in it- Al Qurija, whom we just beat, and the giants of Drawkland, who hosted the previous edition of the tournament and have never yet missed out on qualification for a World Cup Finals- making it one of the few nations that has pariticipated in the World Cup Finals, yet never participated in the Cup of Harmony.

This is a happy day for the Silverians- but ultimately, in the bigger picture, it won't mean much. Throughout this tournament, we will take our readers through the long international sporting history of Silver Beach- which hasn't been added to for 42 years, until today. The history of our World Cup Qualification campaigns, our contenders for the SFA's Hall of Fame nomination, the history of Silverian club soccer, and much else. Just to show our younger generations that our nation does indeed have a history outside of our last 15 years of being a Republic, and hopefully so that education can drive support towards the national team.

by **Newmanistan** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 3:22 pm

THE ROCKET REPORT

HUGE CROWD WELCOMES BACK WORLD CUP

by Brianne Henry,

Overflow seating was needed into the grandstands of the racing facility at the Proving Grounds to watch the Rockets take part in their first World Cup qualifying game in several decades. A solid contingent of fans from Commonwealth of Baker Park, the runner up in the Baptism of Fire, also found their way to the Proving Grounds, and when considering the overflow seats, attendance was approximately 136,000. Emperor Michael V was in attendance, and despite some rumors that there was not going to be much fanfare for this return, there was plenty of it, as many long time relatives of former soccer greats from the Empire (our standards of greatness, of course) took part in a ceremony prior to the game. Many athletes from accomplished teams in other sports also took part of it as Newmanistanians were eager to show the world that we can play soccer in this country, too.

Commonwealth of Baker Park was an interesting opponent, given that they are coming off the Baptism of Fire runner up finish. That’s almost the same spot that we were in when we made our debut in World Cup 40, also hosted by Starblaydia and a nation that also wore sky blue very well, Krytenia. They were hungry, but respectful of what they were getting themselves into. They didn’t come in here with big heads, and many of their fans seemed eager to learn about the history of this amazing venue that has hosted all kinds of international championships throughout its history. Many in the Empire seemed to realize this about the visiting contingent, and everyone seemed to have a great time, both during and after the match.

When it came time to play, both teams were eager to start off right, though each were a little conservative. The first fifteen minutes of the match were more like a feeling out process of one another, and that didn’t lead to any particularly exciting action of chances. As the first half carried on, the teams began to get a little more ambitious, and the first great chance of the match came in the 28th minute on great shot by Robert Webster, that the Bees Scott Hartline barely got with his fingertips to knock it over the crossbar. Eight minutes later, Jackie Thomas buzzed down the left wing, eluded Shawn Mullen, who failed at a tackle attempt, before her shot hit the left post dead on and bounced away. The excitement was building, and as we headed to the intermission without a goal, the best was yet to come, for sure.

After some entertaining action for the start of the second half that saw both teams get some chances, the Rockets would strike first as a brilliant set up by Chase Lassiter allowed youngster Matthew Holt to get in prime scoring position, and Holt made the most of it, firing it by Hartline in the 59th minute. For a moment, the Rockets had the lead, but it would only last nine minutes as Brianne Whitestone was in perfect position to get the rebound of Ian Coverstone shot that Sergio Lopez was able to stop, and not control. The ball deflected ideally to Whitestone, and she knew what to do it, lifting it just underneath the crossbar to tie the match up at one. Four minutes later, Whitestone got another great chance off a corner, but a great stop by Lopez kept it from going in. Then, in the 83rd, one last great chance for Newmanistan by Timothy Hines rung a shot off the right post. Overall possession for the match was pretty even, and it was a clean game played by both teams. In the end, each team gets one point, and carried on from here.

In his post-game press conference, manager Michael Stratton stated, “I think it was a well played game by both us and the Bees. This was a first for both of us in the qualifiers, and I think each of us showed their best hand here today. Getting a draw at home against the Baptism of Fire runner up is a pretty good result when you come into this as fresh as we are.”

The Rockets head to North Dajao next and will hope to build off this result.

by **Eura** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 4:15 pm

emplor.eur/main/sport/football
EURA STUNNED AT HOME BY NEWCOMERS ASHKAM THANKS TO REF BLUNDER
Absurd penalty causes outrage but fans rightly concerned by woeful Euran performance
Report by our Euran international team correspondent Paul Falmer

EURA - 2
D. Sharp 47
Holmes 60

ASHKAM - 3
Hariri 3
Majala 68
Kazma 76 (pen)

Eura were left angry, and somewhat embarrassed, after a bizarre home defeat to World Cup qualifying debutant's Ashkam thanks to a controversial late penalty.

It was no surprise that Eura fielded a rotated side for one of the lowest ranked opponents in the group, but they still should have been more than capable of seeing off a side who have had barely any exposure to competitive international football. Robert Griffin was the only regular first teamer in a lineup that saw Ben Hall, Ethan Cook, Bryan Butler and Harvey Blake forming the back line; first choice or not, it is inexplicable that the centreback pairing of Butler and Blake who play together for a Gold League title contender were caught flat footed in only the third minute as Hariri beat the offside trap and left Griffin helpless with a beautiful chipped goal. The midfield of Gael Tobin, Harry Gravesen, Dominic Miller, Harrison Burns and Rhys Griffiths is not hugely experienced at international level, but all play for UICA level sides and were embarrassing themselves in the first ten minutes of the match, standing idle as Ashkam established an unlikely dominance over proceedings. Hariri and fellow striker Dan Ransom had numerous chances to score more early goals but were wasteful. Only Dean Sharp came away with any credit from the first half, fighting a lone battle up front and forcing several saves out of Esa Jah.

Failure to equaliser before half time left the stadium in a sour mood and prompted a substitution as Burns was withdrawn for Josh Holmes of Revolutionaries. Holmes made an immediate difference in the early second half but only after Sharp had brought the home side level, skillfully bringing down a speculative Butler route one ball forward and tucking home. Lofty Jones came on for Sharp who unfortunately picked up an injury after his goal. In an unusual turn of events Jones supplied a goal from a cross rather than scoring it himself. The hulking Jones ran rings around the slow opposition fullback out on the left hand side and put a fine cross into the box for Holmes to score a free header. It seemed to be business as usual again and a scare had been averted as they often are. Yet Ashkam were not done and were gifted a route back into the game by one of the biggest tactical blunders of Steve Thompson's management era. With the away side undeterred and chasing an equaliser, Thompson decided to experiment by switching to three centrebacks (Butler, Blake and a centralised Hall), bringing off Cook for William Stone to make his debut in a front three. This drastically weakened Eura on the flanks in return for attacking options they didn't need.

The visitors took control of the game again for a short period, clipping the post on one occasion and forcing some decent saves out of Griffin. It was arguably a defensive error that brought them level, when substitute Martin Majala exchanged a frustratingly simple one two with a teammate to get by Butler and Blake, who didn't play like club teammates whatsoever. The finish was tidy and Ashkam ambitiously switched to a 3-3-4 formation to expose Eura's sudden and unfamiliar weakness on the wings. Eura's superior quality and experience prevented what might have been an onslaught against a side with more innate quality, but allowing an away side to control proceedings in such a way had inevitable consequences. Audrey Kazma was no doubt being cynical in conning a penalty out of the referee, blatantly hoofing it into Hall's arm at short range, and then claiming it was deliberate handball. The official gave the penalty to much outrage from the Euran players (two of whom were booked for dissent). After a long wait, Kazma calmly and professionally dispatched the penalty leaving Griffin without a chance of saving it -and justifiably furious at both the referee and his team. Ashkam decided not to push their luck in the final stages and understandably became very defensive, which effectively stifled a frustrated Euran team. Lofty Jones had a great one on one chance towards the end but was denied by a fantastic save by Jah, who surely was the player of the match.

The aftermath of this match raises a lot of very troubling questions for Eura. There was no doubt that Ashkam's performance was equal parts heroic and clinical. They could not have been expected to perform half as well as they did, and it is unlikely they will achieve that level of performance consistently through all of qualifying. There is also no doubt that the penalty call which ultimately turned a wasted opportunity into a farcical defeat was one of the worst decisions seen in a Euran international match. However, neither of these facts excuse of a turgid Euran performance. Former Euran international and World Cup winner Daniel Belgrave, speaking on EBC Sport after the game, summed up the feelings of most of the country when he described the display by the red and gold as "spineless and bereft of good decision making". Coming from Belgrave this was fiery criticism indeed. The Farrenton manager is a close personal friend of Eura manager Steve Thompson who captained Belgrave on the national team. Criticism has indeed been directed at Thompson himself in an unusually cutting manner from various quarters. Thompson's national hero status, extremely long tenure as Euran national team manager and the reduced expectations caused by the impact of war seem to have all become less persuasive very quickly.

No-one can seriously question his experience and most of his record, but many informed observers of the game are starting to question if a culture change is needed at the highest levels of the Euran game. Increasingly Eura are developing repeat attitude problems at international level ranging from their obvious mental block when playing specific opposition (the most damning example being a dreadful run of defeats against Nephara) to a common thread of occasional but damaging blowouts against opposition that Eura should not be dropping points against. In another column in this paper, one of our football correspondents commented that "its like Eura have, over the years, began to believe that they won't be held accountable when they choke closer to the finish line against big teams, or lose concentration and drop points in humiliating fashion against less highly rated opposition". There may be some truth to this. The Euran team is notoriously slow to clear out regular players who are out of form and there are a number of players in the current squad who are there on questionable merit aside from playing for big clubs. Dropping several players including Freddie Nolan during the 79th World Cup qualifying campaign was a departure from the norm but Thompson is rarely that ruthless when he probably should be.

As tempting as it is to lay all of this at the door of the manager and the established team, this may be a bit of a harsh and presumptuous line of argument to take so early into qualifying. After all it is the less regular players who performed so badly against Ashkam. Regardless of Eura's flaws they have recently reached a World Cup final with an injury hit, ageing team, and didn't do badly qualifying for and performing in the last World Cup either aside from a brief but at the time worrying mid-qualifying crisis. For these reasons it is too early to pronounce Eura's national team to be unfit for purpose and needing an overhaul. Qualifying is a long process and this is hardly the first time that Eura have hit a painful bump along the road to success. At times its easy to forget how successful Eura are in the grand scheme of things and that as fans we are slightly spoiled. Expectations may need to be lowered in future. Nevertheless Steve Thompson must ask some searching questions of himself and his players heading into the upcoming qualifiers. He must then be honest about what the answers are and what action to take next. Knowing what Thompson is like the most likely answer will be that Eura should go back to the basics, hone their tried and trusted formula with a strong first team selection, and get back on track on and off the pitch.

by **Siovanija and Teusland** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 4:24 pm

STELBURGER ZEITUNG

EDITORIALS

With World Cup Qualifiers kicking off, the Stelburger Zeitung would like to give fans a greater insight into the national team and its players. To that effect, we’ve offered several players a chance to tell the story of just how they got to this point. First up is one of the youngest players on the team, Thorsten Kramer.

“Thorsten, can you come downstairs for a minute?” I’ll never forget my dad’s words that day. I took my time going down the stairs, because of course whatever online game I was playing that day was much more important than anything dad had to say. When I came downstairs, then, I was in for a big surprise. At the kitchen table sat mom, dad and FC Teussen Stelburg manager Kaspar Knauer.

Growing up in Stelburg, I had always been a massive Teussen fan. We tried to get to the stadium as much as we could, and my most prized possession was my Academy jacket. I wore that thing as much as I could, probably even to bed a few times. I’d always dreamed of playing for that club, and wanted nothing more. I don’t want to sound cocky or anything, but I’ve always believed that I could definitely make the team if I worked hard enough. Still, to see Kaspar in front of me, a man I’d usually observed from Row Z, was quite the shock.

“Thorsten, Mr. Knauer would like to speak to you,” my mom said. My eyes nearly popped out of my head as he stood up and shook my hand. “You’ve had some great performances for the youth side, and it’s really caught our eye. How would you like to attend our training session this Saturday?” The word ‘yes’ had formed before he’d even finished. Kaspar seemed to have noticed, and he grinned as he replied “9 o'clock sharp, don’t be late.”

Thursday and Friday at school flew by as if they hadn’t even happened, and I was mostly daydreaming through class. I could barely fall asleep Friday night, and I had to constantly remind myself that it was only a training session. Not a game, not the derby, training. “It’s really caught our eye,” he’d said. I knew of course that there was talk about me, lots of media outlets had wanted interviews. But nothing ever seems real until it is.

That morning, I was again starstruck as I saw my name up on the wall in the dressing room, and a training kit waiting for me. They were really going full out, I thought. I heard a voice behind me, one I knew from TV interviews. Rupert Holz, captain of the team. “Thorsten, hi! Welcome to FC Teussen Stelburg.” I turned around and greeted him. We talked a little more, than another familiar face came in “Hey, Rupert! Who’s the kid?,” said Alex Geschke. He came over, and gave some advice. “Play hard, don’t piss anyone off, and you’ll fit in fine.” With introductions out of the way, it was time for training.

To be honest, that session was mainly a blur, mixed in with the many since. I think I gave a good showing of myself, and I tried not to think about exactly where I was, on the pitch with players I had watched over and over again. It was an interesting feeling, knowing everyone's first name yet not having actually met them. What I remember is that afterwards, Kaspar took me aside and asked if I felt I was ready to join the team. I thought about his question for a second, and somehow, deep down, I just knew there was only one answer. “Yes, sir!” He smiled, and told me not to be late for tomorrow’s training.

The boys took me out for dinner that night. That’s a lie, though, because I had to pay for all of them. Of course, we went to the most expensive restaurant at the Konigsplatz. Then, it was entrees, mains and desserts for everyone, and a seemingly endless supply of various drinks. By the end of the night, I think my entire week’s wages had been spent on that outing. That would be my initiation into FC Teussen Stelburg.

The reason I’m going back in time a couple years, is because I recently got the chance to relive that whole experience. It was a week or two after the end of the Republikaliga season. I was still disappointed we’d missed out on winning the league, and I’d already been planning to go in for some more training. It’s a physical league, and I thought I needed a little more development in that side of my game. I was just about out the door when the phone rang. “Thorsten, can you get it?,” mom yelled from upstairs. On the other end was Kaspar Knauer.

There had been rumours since the start of the season that the football association (UFAST) had been considering creating a national team to go to international competitions. That was confirmed, of course, when it was announced we’d be participating in the Baptism of Fire and the World Cup. I knew Kaspar had been named one of the assistant managers for the team, but I wasn’t exactly sure what he was calling me about today. “Thorsten, I’ve just spoken to Apostol, and he’d like to know if you’d be interested in playing for the national team.” Apostol Manevski was, of course, manager of the national team, and now he wanted to call me up. Yet another dream was coming true. “We’re doing a training session at the Nationalstadion Friday at 9 o’clock am. Don’t be late.”

The first national training session was another great experience. I knew a couple of guys, of course, from Teussen. Rupert was there, Theodor Aberbach and Dietmar Kleinmann as well. Most of the others, though, I only knew from playing against. We seemed to click right away, all of us, and any animosity from the season was quickly forgotten.

The Baptism of Fire was a great experience for us. I’ll never forget being named to the lineup for that first game, our 3-1 win over The Cereal Isle. I assisted the opener, a nice goal from Miroslav Dinev, and got my first goal in our second game against Tzerinn. Of course, it didn’t end as well as we’d hoped it would. While overall it was quite successful, especially since our goal from the first day was to get out of the group stage, I can’t lie: getting eliminated was a real disappointment.

By the time we got home, though, we’d largely forgotten and were ready to go back to our club teams and start training. So, I traded one black-gold kit for another, and got back down to work. I think I’ve made a lot of growth as a footballer through all of this. Working with different guys from the national team, and seeing how styles differ across the league, and being able to take all that back to Teussen is great. Playing against other countries, as well, has been important, and really beneficial for all of us.

World Cup Qualifiers are up next. It’s going to be a lot tougher than anything we’ve faced yet, and we’ll be taking on teams with lots more football experience compared to us. We know it’s going to be a long, long road before we can really compete on the international stage. We need to put down a foundation, then, to build off of. We’re all raring to go, and we want to give our fans the best performances possible.

That’s the story of me, Thorsten Kramer, up to this point. Thanks to all the people who helped to get me here, and I believe that, both for me and my teams, that the best is yet to come!

Thorsten Kramer is an 18-year-old central midfielder, currently playing for FC Teussen Stelburg and the Siovanija and Teusland national football team. We’d like to thank him for this article, the first part of our series of editorials from national team players. We’d also like to offer congratulations to the Goldhorns, who defeated Aji No Moto 4-0 in their first match of qualifiers. Next up, it’s the first home match for this team, as they take on Luz de Libertados and St Esther at the Nationalstadion.

Siovanija and Teusland 4-0 Aji No Moto

Siovanija and Teusland XI (4-2-3-1): Venev; Kleinmann, Licht, Klopfer, Daschner; Kramer, Antonov (Brotzmann 80’); Leistner, V. Dimitrov, Romanov (Holz 72’); Dinev (A. Dimitrov 65’)
Goals: Miroslav Dinev 14’, Ivo Romanov 42', 61’, Anton Dimitrov 76’

by **Farfadillis** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 4:44 pm

"We've hit the 88th minute. Acronius fully deserve the win, but we still have a chance here. Somuele with the ball. He passes to Zsase. Zsolgar with the ball. He dribbles past Trésor. He passes the ball to Wínrôuge. Wínrôuge turns around, gets past Chimneeeeys. Täjó has it. He shoooooooots. GOL! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! TÄJÓ WITH A BRILLIANT EQUALIZER! FARFADILLIS 3, ACRONIUS 3."

Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ

It hadn't been easy. It really hadn't been. Fôrté had wanted to start the first game of qualifiers with a performance that would eclipse all of his teammates. To leave no doubt that he was the team's best player, and that Tíbürçìó's tactics should cater to him and only to him. He really wanted to continue dribbling after turning around, instead of making that pass. But at thirty-three, his pace was not the same and he knew the team needed him to make the best decision. With a heavy heart, he'd pulled off a pass that few players in the Multiverse could dream of making to Çíânflöné who had... well, he had done a fine job of putting it away, no doubt. Fôrté felt a tinge of regret. He knew who'd be stealing all the headlines the day after. Specially after scoring the first two goals...

An alternative version of the last play suddenly flashed before his eyes. He had received Zsolgar's pass, turned around, dribbled past both defenders and chipped the ball over the goalkeeper. In the past, that had happened more than once. But he found himself less and less able of scoring those goals nowadays. For the first time - ever in his life -Fôrté was doubting himself. What if he had tried? Would he have managed to steal all the headlines the day after? Impossible to tell, surely...

Eleonóra stole the ball from Althusse and began a counterattack as Acronius proved themselves a tad too conceited. They had been the better team, but their vanity led them to believe they could still get a win out of the game. Eleonóra one-twoed past Le Kervelec with der Pros' help, then passed the ball to Êns, who'd dropped very deep. The perhaps-too-talented striker represented the new generation of Farf footballers and, according to some pundits, a "possible future Wínrôuge". No, worse. For some pundits, he was a "possible future Wínrôuge or Çíânflöné". It's amazing how all it takes is one not-super-good season for everyone to forget who's the best, that's what Farfadillis' supposed best ever was thinking. All while his team was trying to score the winner in the last play of the game.

Êns passed to him. He turned around. He had four players in front of him. He moved with decision, focusing for a bit to try and remember how he used to feel invincible. For a few seconds, Wínrôuge's life had singular meaning: to take back what was his. He could've passed to his cousin, who had found space and would no doubt score the winner if Fôrté gave him a good pass, but instead he opted to try and make his way into the box. That he did, by dribbling a player. Inside the box, he dribbled another. He faced the goalkeeper. With little space left and the goalkeeper correctly positioned, he could neither dribble past nor chip the ball over the goalkeeper. So he just went for a powerful yet precise shot to the right post.

Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ

"Êns with the ball. He passes to Wínrôuge. He pauses for a second. He dribbles past Paulois. Here comes Wínrôuge, HE'S PAST MAÇOOOOOOOON. OFF THE POST! ÇÍÂNFLÖNÉÉÉÉÉÉ! GOOOOOOOOOOOL! GOOOOOOOOOOOOL! GOL! ÇÍÂNFLÖNÉ SINGLE-HANDEDLY WINS THE GAME FOR FARFADILLIS BY SCORING A POKER! SIMPLY UNBELIEVABLE! Farfadillis 4, Acronius 3. Crisis averted for la Vherderoja."

Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ Ӿ

Wínrôuge looked up and watched the ball hit the post. Before even being able to process things and feel the consequent frustration, Çíânflöné pounced on the rebound. For a split-second, he felt desperation. But not for his cousin to score, but for his counsin to miss. As Täjó scored his fourth of the night, his cousin could only feel himself fall into a pit of despair. Fôrté barely even feigned emotion for the celebration, then promptly went to the dressing room after the referee blew the final whistle. Çíânflöné had stolen the night, no doubt. He may have had a spark of brilliance, for which he'd get little credit, that ultimately saved the team two points, but Täjó's four goals would be the only thing the pundits would talk about.

Fôrté desperately wanted his national team back. The one that relied on him in every important moment. The one he was meant to carry. He didn't want to be anyone's second-in-command. This team no longer relied on him. He hated that.

Tíbürçìó patted him on the back on his way to the dressing room. "Very good performance, lad. I'm proud" were his words. Only two year ago, those words would've felt insulting. They now felt oddly comforting.

He watched from afar as his teammates surrounded Täjó amidst the euphoria of turning around a game in the last minutes, but he could not feel happiness, only envy.

by **South Covello** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 5:56 pm

South Covello Soccer Chants

South Covello's fan group, the Screaming Coconuts, are among the most rabid fan bases in the Multiverse. Standing behind the north goal for the entire match, they sing songs and cheers and chants about how great South Covello is and how they are going to will the Rebels to victory. What follows are some of the chants:

On the Banks of the Old Goldenrod

From far and near we cheer the Rebels
Together, united we shall laud
And so we stand and cheer
And toss our cups of beer
On the banks of the old Goldenrod

On the banks of the old Goldenrod, my Rebs
Where Covello evermore shall stand
For have we not stood since the time of the flood
On the banks of the old Goldenrod

For sing along to South Covello
And cheer the greatest ever squad
For raise your voices high
SoCo's name shall never die
On the banks of the old Goldenrod

On the banks of the old Goldenrod, my Rebs
Where Covello evermore shall stand
For have we not stood since the time of the flood
On the banks of the old Goldenrod

The Good Old Song

The Good Old Song of Coconuts, we'll sing it loud and clear
It warms our hearts and makes us proud to hear our Rebel cheer
We come from old Covello, where all is clear and bright
Let's all stand strong and raise a song to our favorite team all night

Co-vel-lo, Co-vel-lo, SoCo So Co-ve-e-e-lo
SoCo Go, SoCo Go, Go, Go, SoCo GO!

Who Do We Hate More Than [Opponent]?

Who do we hate more than [Opponent's name]?
Only tyrants!
Revan!
Paulus!
Sameba!
[Opponent]!
Surrender now or prepare to fight!
We'll win tonight!

The Eyes of SoCo

The eyes of SoCo are upon you
Watching down on you
The eyes of SoCo are upon you
Whatever you may do

We will scream and shout and chant
From night 'till early in the morn
The eyes of SoCo are upon you
'Till reffy blows his horn!

It was these chants that so nobly led South Covello to a 1-0 victory in the inaugural game at Revolution stadium last night, over Main Nation Ministry. Vice captain Coconut Charles scored in the 34th minute off a beautiful cross from Henry Ocho. That one goal was enough, as Matthew Tyler was brilliant in net. He made nine saves, including three in stoppage time alone, to keep Main Nation Ministry off the board in his World Cup debut. He was named the Man of the Match for that fantastic performance. Next up, the Rebels will travel to Coldfield for a match against the 62nd ranked team in the world. They'll look to win their second straight and hopefully improve on their breakthrough performance in the last World Cup.

by **Beepee** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 6:36 pm

CENI 1- 0 BEEPEE

Arrowsword '89

Beepee's world cup qualification campaign got off to a faltering start against Ceni after a 1-0 away defeat.

Beepee were never fancied against world ranked number 17 however Beepee put on ba strong defensive display at Cenial Halcyon National Stadium.

Andrew Arrowsword hit Ceni's winner in the 89th minute in Cenial, to sink Beepee's hipes of holding on for a famous point.

Beepee, who played their defensive style, frustrated the Ceni attack for much of the match but never themselves came close to scoring. Beepee are unlikely to qualify but will take some comfort from the strong display.

Speaking after the match Beepee Head Coach Michael Forsberg told BONC Sport: "I am feeling very happy. Whilsg the team lost we defended well and to lose by only one goal against such a strong side.. we can gake many positives from the match.

"It was obviously disappointing to lose so late on so it is crucial we take maximum points from our next game."

---

88th Minute

Kikki Dabol sat amongst the 4000 or so other Beepeean fans at the Cenial Halcyon National Stadium. She had almost chewed her fingernails away throughout the match.

There were only a few more moments to play and the match was still goalless.

The Ceni players has dominated the match, as Kikki expected, but in the last couple of minutes Ceni was pulling on the pressure to find a winning goal.

89th Minute

The fast, free flowing football was continuing from Ceni and frustration was beginning to mount in b the Beepeean players. When Jasper Valaran of Ceni was challenged heavily by Dirk Bolt.

The whistle blew. Free kick. in a dangerous position. Kikki closed her eyes and held her breath. "Don't score! Don't score! Don't score!" She muttered under her breath.

She heard the whistle go and opened her eyes.

Andrew Arrowsword was starting his run up.

Kikki could feel her anxiety levels rising 'He's going for goal'

Arrowsword stuck the ball cleanly sending it flying toward to right hand post.

Goalie Shep hesitated for a second before rushing to the post.

'He's too late ' she thought.

The ball hit the inside side net.   Goal!

The roar from the spectators was deafening. The Beepeean support slumped in their seats, as Arrowsword was surrounded by his teammates.

Kikki held back a tear. 'We tried.   So close!'

by **Main Nation Ministry** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 6:44 pm

Balancing the Chips

After the first Match Day, things were already at a rough start. After blowing the first match, Emmanuel Jones had them go on a jog at one of the coaster sectors to straighten them out. At the end of training, Emmanuel had a brief announcement for the soccer team. "Gentlemen! I realize that our first match day was difficult, but the reason I pushing you is to make sure you're in line! That means we will not lose to some team with an idiotic fan base called Screaming Coconuts! You might be covered in dust, blood, sweat and tears, but you need to have a reason for being covered in it. You need to have a reason to deserve your condition! Not loss, but by victory! Now, let's- Sherlocke, what are you doing?!" Jones yelled at Sherlocke, who was balancing a chip on both sides. "I'm trying to have some balance within the team. Coach."

"There will be balance, if we get our heads straight. Come on! We have another training match to do." Jones led the team back to the training room, as Sherlocke left his chip still balanced on both sides.

The Tide

Cadet Henry wandered through the desert in an island that seems to defy the rules of what was considered normal. The sand was wet, despite the lack of water. Was the ocean invisible, Henry thought as he looked for the rest of the men. Then, he noticed someone in the distance. Another soldier that Henry knew. He ran towards him in desperation. "Bruce! Bruce! It's me, Henry!", Henry yelled at Bruce, almost tumbling down a dune. "Henry, you're still alive? I thought the sand swallowed you?" Bruce said.

"The sand? What about the sand?"
"It swallowed the god-damn plane, that's what happened! We tried to get a piece of debris to use as a landmark to establish the camp, but the sand literally swallowed that too!"
"Did it swallow anyone we know?"
"It ain't swallowing anything living. If we lucky, we might- A drone! I think it's from our nation!" Bruce immediately pointed to the sky above, where both of them recognized the shape of the aircraft as a surveillance drone. The both immediately started waving their hands in the airs and screaming like maniacs to get the drone's attention, until...

A faint trace of smoke of visible.

The drone started to become closer to the ground...

And.

CRASH!

The drone literally fell outta the sky, like a bird that suddenly forgot how to fly it's wings. The drone nosedived in front of the two men, as after a sand cloud formed as a shockwave, the two men witnessed the drone literally sunk into the sand, like it was on a fast-moving elevator. Henry was dumbfounded at the sight, then he suggested something that made Bruce literally want to slap him. "Is sand edible?"

by **Audioslavia** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 6:47 pm

Even through the strained crunching sound of his trying to eat the bit of a shrimp you're apparently not supposed to eat (but that tastes really good anyway), Roddy Fraser could hear, clearly, the rising pitch of the Radio Crossroads Live commentator going crazy. It helped that Desya Kuznetsov was holding his phone so close to Roddy's ear that a passerby might have mistaken him for an artisanal lampshade. It's Kuznetsov! Into the box! Kuznetsov still! Finds... finds Dupont.... square! FraasssssEEEERRRRRRRRAAOOAOOAOOO! THREE ONE! THREE ONE AUDIOSLAVIA! THERE IS LIFE IN THE OLD BULL YET! IT'S FRASER FOR THE SECOND TIME!

"Classic" said Roddy, finally swallowing down some sharp shrimp exoskeleton. "I'm sure radio commentators do that on purpose. It's the best way to get your voice heard. Go crazy when your team score so that people use you as an example of how happy your nation was about a goal"
"Must you so coldly?" said Desya, smiling and frowning. Roddy embarked on his familiar adventure wherein he tried to guess exactly what verb it was that Desya had forgotten to say. English was Desya's fourth language. His first was Russian. He didn't have a second or third.
"It's true" said. "And remember what we said about verbs and how we really actually need to use them."
"I verbs" protested Desya
"You don't use verbs at all"
"Must is a verb. Is is a verb. I verbs"
"Aye, of course, Des"
"And next week" continued Desya, tossing his own prawn from his plate on account of the fact that it was neither a potato, vodka nor a staunch refusal to admit his own mistakes, and was therefore no use to him, "next week Nephara goals is mine"
"Are" said Roddy.
"Arr!" shouted Desya, raising his glass. There was a see-thru liquid in the glass. It was supposed to be water. Roddy was dubious. Desya continued. "Nephara is mine. I goal, you me the ball. You me the ball lots. Everyone me the ball"
"Give"
"Exactly!" said Desya, sipping a suspiciously small amount of his glass of water and gritting his teeth as he drank it down.

Roddy thought back to the manager's speech after the game. A short one, but a sweet one.

"Lads lads lads", Dragan had began, "Great show. Great performance. I ask you to counter-attack, you counter-attack. I can't be more happy. Next week, Tuesday, we have the trip to Nephara. You can relax tonight, but we're flying out on Sunday and working hard on Monday. Nephara are higher ranked than us, thirty places or more, but that doesn't matter to you. Your blood is claret and green, you'll wear the bull over your heart. Future generations won't care that this is, what they say, a 'transitional' period for the national team. Future generations will look back on the score on Tuesday and see a win, a loss or a draw. Make those future historians proud. Plus I heard the Nepharim guys say that you guys are a bunch of divs"
"BUNCH OF DIVS" Desya had shouted, standing up, "THEY BUNCH OF DIVS"
"Go ****ing prove it to them Tuesday"
"ARRR", Desya had shouted.
"Arr", said Roddy, to nobody in particular. Opposite him, Desya Kuznetsov downed his 'water'.
"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR"

by **Zwangzug** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 7:41 pm

The Spenson Star
Suns rise on new era

The re-resurgent Zwangzug football team took its first steps in World Cup 80 qualifying, falling 2-1 away in Barunia. The "Suns" made their international debut prior to World Cup 64, just as the previous iteration of the Zwangzug team was making its mathematically-apt return. Now third seeds, they duly held their form, but Zwangzug showed they can hold their own at least for a while.

Barunia sports a 1-4-5-1 similar to Zwangzug's, but with less specialization in the midfield. Captain Hannah Miller, however, stands apart in the attacking midfield position, and she evaded Heather Garland-Fowler to open the scoring on twenty-one minutes. Zwangzug played more defensively for the rest of the half, but cmae out strong after the break, with Spencer Gleason scoring off a long pass from domestic teammate Kendra Jover. Forrest Smith came off the bench to make the difference, scoring in minute 68.

"It's both relieving and frustrating not to be in charge of every aspect of tactics," summarized Jover, on her way to a Globe Cup fixture. "This wasn't really something any of us had ever planned on, I think, even us Eagles' Cup people. So we're still feeling it out and getting to know each other but we're all serious competitors, and we're ready to show these teams what we're made of."

The atmosphere in the Kytlerian-designed stadium was festive, with the home "Scarlet Army" having plenty to sing about. Not many Zwangzug fans made it out to The Union of Red Nations, but those who did tended to appreciate both the left-wing ambiance and musical accompaniment, although not so much that they didn't have a parody ready by the second half. Though drowned out by their host counterparts, our staff managed to transcribe it as follows:

The people's net is thin and white
So please don't kick it in, all right?
Before our feet grow tired and sore
We'll lock the gate and bar the door.

So keep your green and yellow kits
We couldn't really give two...rips
Though sieves may leak and then concede
We'll struggle to attain the lead.

The past saw triumphs come and go;
We'll start again, from way down low.
And maybe wave a flag with squares
Although nobody really cares.

With or without our caps we dream
Of following our favorite team
Come rainouts dark or great defeats,
Till whistles sound, we'll fill the seats.

World Cup 81/82/83/84

Newmanistan 1-1 Commonwealth--post match comments

Kristian Barnard
Daily Mail Soccer Writer

Reporting from Tundra Falls, Newmanistan:

National Team Manager Trevor Richmond following the opening match of World Cup 80 Qualifying at the Proving Ground:

"I think we did well to not get caught up in the moment and worry about the crowd. I think we probably played better because of the atmosphere, I told them that we really didn't have any pressure on us."
issues of concern?
"in general, no. As the match went on we seemed to find a better rhythm, the guys looked rusty, the ladies looked like they had confidence and that has to come from having gotten matches under their belts. I thought the back three did fine. Kris (Day) hasn't played as much on the left for us, although he has for his club, so under the circumstances I think he did well. Faith (Enzikimbo) showed why she's the best female defender in the country, but we should start to say she's one of the best period."
looking ahead:
"a point on the road, first time out, big crowd, good opponent, I think we should just quietly get out of town and be happy. There's room for improvement, and I think we're going to have to show some for Darmen. We have a couple of days to see how combinations work together. I'm sure we will probably rotate a few positions just get a feel for different lineups together."
___________________________________________________________________________________

meanwhile, in Belle Haven...a cable passed along to the Foreign Minister and the Chief of Security

by **Banija** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 8:32 pm

OOC: What does Katikkiro mean? What does Kabaka mean? Look at my sig!

The Banijan Post
Covering All of Banija, All of our News, All of the Time

Ebrahim Razav accuses Mutebi of 'idiotic mismanagement' as war of words between Premier and Katikkiro heat up amid worsening drought crisis

Ebrahim Razav at a press conference

BUSUKUMA- The drought crisis that has been gripping Banija shows no signs of going away. And droughts simply don't stay the same- they either get better, or they continue to get worse than they were before. And the latter, unfortunately, is very true for Banija at this stage. With the lack of ability of Banija's farmers to grow food within the country, it has led to the creation of a food crisis within Banija- a country that, while used to growing enough food for itself, is simply not able to grow that food. Insurance payments from the government are stretching government budgets thin as thousands upon thousands of livestock- cattle, pigs, goats, etc.. Continue to die as there is no answer. They are spending money on importing food, but as Banija's budget is not exactly built for this kind of strain- there are very many areas where food rationing is taking place, alongside water rationing being implemented in more and more parts of the country. In Banija's main three coastal cities that see foreign visitors, however- Istria, Busukuma, and Herzegovina City- the drought is just a story, as they have taken many steps to hide the drought from there.

Enter, of course, Ebrahim Razav, the Premier of the Busoga Islands. He was very critical of Busukuma's response to the entire crisis. "The Katikkiro has engaged in idiotic mismanagement of our nation's limited resources since the beginning of the crisis." Said Ebrahim Razav. "Instead of ensuring that each region's needs are met, he decides to flood extra resources towards our big cities- conveniently where he's staying in Busukuma, and Istria, and Herzegovina City, to ensure that foreign visitors to the country don't see what's going on. Why? It's already obvious. But we need a government competent enough to ensure that people don't die from this- and at this point, it's questionable whether we have that kind of leadership in Busukuma." Ebrahim Razav, a long time critic of Matthias Mutebi's government, is speaking from a position of frustration as the Islands continue to suffer. Authorities on the mainland refuse to allow Dukuma Regional Airport to be named an International ariport during the crisis, citing 'lack of capacity' to operate customs functions there- meaning that international aide must go through to the mainland before it goes to the Busoga Islands.

Matthias Mutebi, however, did not take this one lying down. He fired back at the Islander Premier. "This Government is doing what is necessary to ensure that, in this tough crisis, our economy can function close to normal, and so that there is enough food and drink to go around. We have implemented water rationing in much of the country, including on the Busoga Islands, and even food rationing in certain parts of the country, to ensure that we, as a nation, conserve resources. Unfortunately, we are not capable of opening the skies and forcing the rain to touch down in Banija- so we must continue on our path. As for the lack of water rationing on the coasts, it is clear of the reasoning for that- we need to ensure that the economy can maintain as much strength as possible during this crisis. The lack of agricultural production is going to severely impact our economy, and we need to ensure that cash is flowing in so we can afford to do this. We are going to have to import large quantities of food for the first time- that isn't free, and it is shortsighted to not recognize that we need to cover our costs." The Press Secretary for the Katikkiro said that Ebrahim Razav was 'grandstanding', and that Busukuma would handle this crisis.

Meanwhile, as the war of words continued, the first Banijan refugees of the drought crisis, after a couple of months, have been reported. Jean-Luc Banos, the Quebecois Minister for Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship, has stated that 'in the last month, 600 Banijans have been granted refugee status within the Royal Kingdom of Quebec', making Banija's ally and former colonizer the first nation to announce that they have received, and accepted, Banijan refugee applications. While it is only 600 for now, it is something that could grow as time goes along- there are plenty of countries in Atlantian Oceania that have significant Banijan migrant populations, who are not suffering from the drought, where Banijans may be comfortable emigrating too. And, of course, Banijans fleeing have, naturally, come under political attack at home from the government in Busukuma.

"The Kingdom of Banija is a strong and proud country, even when we face a crisis like we do today." Said the Katikkiro's Press Secretary. "We don't really need to be declaring a refugee crisis, or have thousands of Banijans fleeing the country. We are peaceful, and it will remain peaceful. It won't not rain forever- eventually, the skies will open up, and the rains will start falling again. That is why it is not necessary to change airport designations for Dukuma- not only are our limited resources better spent elsewhere, importing food and implementing water rationing in order to conserve resources throughout all of Banija, but there is simply no need for direct flights from abroad into Dukuma International Airport at this time. As we've always done, except for one sporting tournament, it simply makes sense for things to go there via Istria International Airport- it is more convenient, and more cost effective, than any other solution. The Islands will be fine."

Largely, Banija has been very fortunate to avoid the type of unrest and violence that can encounter conditions like these- showing that, at least for now, the Katikkiro has the confidence of the Banijan people in the actions he has taken to solve this crisis. And while the Busoga Islands has avoided protests and large-scale acts of violence, the attitudes towards the government in Busukuma are souring, to say the least. A few acts of non-verbal resistance have happened. The Banijan flag was recently lowered at the Islamic University of Busoga without announcement or fanfare- largely seen as an act of silent protest against the national government's handling of this crisis. It is said that there is a lot of muttering, and we certainly had a lot of people willing to speak to us off the record about the government's handling of this crisis- on the record, however, is a different story.

As Ebrahim Razav increases his criticisms of Busukuma, however, he is finding more and more support from the Busogan public- with his personal approval ratings at an all-time high, of 54% to 35%. It is clear where their sympathies lie- but, for now, everyone's just focused on making their rations work. We'll simply have to wait and see for what happens next, but for the country's sake- may as well say our prayers for the drought to get better, because as we said- things don't stay the same during a drought. They either get better, or they continue to get worse. And who knows how much more of this drought Banijans can tolerate before it turns from a crisis to a catastrophe?

by **Drawkland** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 9:16 pm

The Madisons are quite possibly the most prominent family in Drawkland. From a sporting standpoint at least. No, I don't say that because I'm biased, I say it because it's true. Without the Madison family, both the Drawk Corps and the National Team Corps of our great nation would be suffering. It's the simple facts of the situation.

Some people have joked about my father being a racehorse. You know, because of his pedigree. And the whole breeding thing. I'm sure if he cared about what people thought about him he'd find it in his heart to be offended by such a comparison. Really, he's just a man with a vision. He was on the track to be a professional athlete, likely a multi-talented Olympian. Unfortunately, injuries right after college hindered his athletic ability for the greater part of a decade and he moved on to other things. He became a prolific sportscaster and expert. Everybody knew Eric Madison.

And eventually he found the woman who would become his wife, and my mother. Hailey Lafayette was also a great athlete who slowed down with age and never created anything beyond a solid college career. But whatever insane vision my father had, he managed to impart upon her. They were going to create a dynasty.

Genetically, my parents seemed to hit the jackpot every time. Archtypical athletes in every sense of the word. You could look at any of us Madison children and your instinct is "yeah, that person could probably destroy me in 8 different sports." My father's vision didn't stop with just lucky dives in the gene pool, he went the extra mile. Ever since our early childhood, even infancy probably, we were pushed to play sports. Against each other, against other children in our rich neighborhood. We learned how to play simply everything. At first it was was just a weird gimmick not many people cared about. "Oh, it's just that one commentator and his wife shooting out a kid every 2 years, whatever." We all have Gerald and Daniel to thank for this, though.

Gerald is my oldest brother. He is the tallest out of all of us, which is saying something, because most of us are rather tall, even for Drawkians. Predictably, he took to basketball like a ring in a bell. Even eventually becoming a center, he proved he could shoot from anywhere on the court, even as a big man. But he wasn't even the beginning of the domination. When Daniel came onto the scene in college football, he turned us from just an interesting quirk to an actual phenomenon. By the time I emerged on the scene, it was all over for professional sports. The Madisons were here.

Soccer may have been around in Drawkland for ages, but I stand strongly beside the fact that I am likely the greatest Drawkian to ever play this game. That is, mortal Drawkian. There has never been a single person who has the pedigree, the natural talent, the training, or the drive to play that I have. That is fact. The only thing going against me is the time I was born. If I was born 10 years later than I was, I'd be right in the sweet spot. At this point, this Kick Corps' talent won't be enough to win a title. That's not my fault, really it's the fault of everyone else. In 4 to 5 Cups' time, our athletes will be catch up to the rest of the World and we'll be completely prepared and able to burn pitches the multiverse around. By then, I may be too old to still be on this squad. And that's if you don't count the fact that some health experts have predicted I'll be able to play at a national team level until age 50.

It's a shame, really. Now all I can do is lead a charge of a new generation of Drawkian players to accelerate to the level of play required to win reliably. We don't have that right now, as clearly evidenced by the Independents Cup debacle. The circumstances of my own berth have hindered me. If I was born later, I'd be amidst this training charge in the development programs in high schools and universities. I would be even greater than I am now. But in any case, my rightful claim as the greatest Drawkian to play soccer is stopped in its tracks by one person. The Elf.

No matter how you spin it, this Ellzidan is in my way. Sure, she'll live 100 times longer than I ever will. Sure, she's a national icon. A historical treasure. Whatever. You know who asked her to play this sport for 4000 years? Fucking nobody. She was probably compelled by some greater force to stump my career from fully flourishing. Maybe the penalty for my personal hubris. I don't know and I don't care. The facts remain. Just the facts. If it weren't for her presence every game, every, damn, game, I would be the icon of our nation with 0 question.

Let me tell you the truth. We lean too heavily on her. She is just not the answer. Independents Cup 4 showed that. The whole team, even Michael Starre, fell for her bait. They believed in her, and she let them down. How utterly predictable. Just another title stripped away from me before I could even obtain it. Maybe if I was given the ball more, maybe if they didn't just pass the ball to that Elf with pitiful desperation in their eyes every time, we'd have won that match. Congrats to Cam for the only goal of that. She truly is a worthy adversary. I can appreciate the work she's put in. But I think what this match did was expose her. And she finally decided to up and leave. Good goddamn riddance.

I said a moment ago that this title was unfairly stripped away from me. Just like in the GCoS. Just like in the Baptism of Fire. I could have everything under control, but suddenly the team reverts into panic mode and starts launching the ball to "Old Reliable" like she's God's gift to the sport. Well they're all fools. Need I remind you who scored our lone goal in the semifinal against Amnarei-asud? That's right, it was yours truly. Their defense was so easy to crack, and yet ... people just dumped it to her, every time. Maybe I need to just call myself a center mid and people will start giving me the ball that's rightfully mine.

I'll tell you, Ellzidan leaving without a trace is the best thing that has happened to me. This silly game between the two of us to hold the record for most Kick Corps goals scored is now going to be all mine for the taking, and I'm gonna run away with it. With this goal against Aggrey-Fynn Land, I've tied the tally at 31 goals. And now, by the time she returns, if she ever doubtfully crawls back, I'll be vastly supreme. People will finally give me the recognition I deserve. Kaitlyn Axelson, bless her heart, just isn't Ellzidan. There will be no center mid presence to sadly lean on. I will be the captain of this squad. I will be the key to victory, week in and week out.

As it should be.

"Corps fans the nation and world over can rejoice! Despite the lack of Ellzidan's ultra-veteran presence in the midfield, the Kick Corps still went out and won their first match of the World Cup 80 Qualifying campaign. Playing away in Aggrey-Fynn Land, Katie Madison scored the single defining goal of the game, a strong right-footed volley that streaked into the bottom corner of the goal. This score in the 65th minute put Drawkland ahead, and the Corps outlasted the Landers for the remainder of the game.

This opening week of games was a wild one for teams the multiverse wide, but especially in Group 8. Not only were the Corps' new rivals Free Republics stymied away against Northwest Kalactin 1-1, but former World Cup Champions and top seed in the group Electrum fell 4-1 on the road at Lionsguard, a no-name newcoming nation. These low-seed upsets may spell future troubles for the Corps if they suffer the same fate as their high-seeded fellows. However, many pundits predict that these were merely flukes. If that's all they are, then we can thank our lucky stars for such a turn of fortune in our favor.

The Kick Corps jumps back into action next week in their home qualifying opener against fellow Sonnelians Silver Beach, a nation just across the straight nestled on the coast of the Dubbo Krish. Silver Beach just recently came back to the world stage, and while they may not be the most impressive of teams, it's sure to be a lively night in Drawk City Stadium for both nations' fans in attendance.

Yesterday, Iarocav gave a statement on the disappearance of Ellzidan. He claimed that, as usual, there is nothing to fear and it's likely that the elven icon is likely off to do important business in another realm as she often does. He then went on to make a statement about the increased activity in the west Suntae region, and claiming that he is trying his best to avoid interacting with the Sulsu hordes as much as possible. Several petitions have come forth ..."

by **The Macabees** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 9:31 pm

PART II
I

He saw her again after the match. There had been plenty of time to move on, but little moving on took place. In fact, Anter Jora learned that world cup analyst duties for a team unlikely to qualify for the finals was not as sexy as he thought it'd sound. Most of the women at the bars outright plain ignored him.

Not knowing how to dance, or talk, or just plain seem attractive, Anter simply wasn't the 'bar type.' Every night since the break up, he went home tired, lonely, and filled with thoughts of Ilyna. She was attractive, wasn't she? He had been lucky to have her. She was the best he was ever going to get. These worrisome thoughts troubled his little mind, and sometimes they grew worse. Sometimes, Anter thought of Ilyna with Enrik Nestor. Damn that man! Why did he have to be so damn well-sculptured? And when Anter saw them together after the game, it took every ounce of dignity in him to walk away without breaking down.

The win against Ceyesca had been exhilirating. While the Golden Throne was a prideful nation, most recognized that the chances of an unraked team qualifying for the finals was infintesimal at best. Still, an opening match victory had awakened the hope of a people who had missed national football at the international stage. In that kind of environment, the boys had gotten out of the locker room quickly, given their press conference, and then invited the team staff to a round of beers at the pub. Enrik Nestor was there, laughing loudly and boasting of the winning goal he had scored, with Ilyna under his arm. She was wearing next to nothing, certainly not an outfit she had ever worn for Anter, and Anter was still standing at the foot of the pub's entrance when he realized he was staring. Of course, he pretended nothing was bothering him, proceeded into the pub anyway, and then slowly and silently died through the night.

"Damn, mate," said Anton Jilesk, the other analyst on the team. "That sounds like shit."

"That's because it is shit," answered Anter, bitterly. "What's a man like him doing with a girl like her anyway? Shouldn't he be out dating models?"

The other man shrugged. "Ilyna's pretty hot, mate. I'd pork her myself if I could."

"I thought you were a friend," said Anter.

"A coworker is not a friend, Anter, he is an enemy." The bastard smiled. "What you need, my man, is to get laid," he said, before turning away to click at his computer. He was watching a section of the map on one screen and had a spreadsheet in the other. He watched for a bit and then entered data, then continued to watch. Patterns in group tactics was what they were looking for, the distribution of passes, and other obstacles that could be turned into weaknesses.

Anter turned to his own work, saying only, "Yea, well, I'm not getting laid tonight, that's for sure."

The team's next game was against Northwest Kalactin, a team climbing up the world rankings. They had tied against Free Republics, a spectacular result against a team ranked at the low end of the top 50. An impressive result, indeed, and one the Golden Throne would have to perform a miracle to replicate. Jared Sednah, the prolific striker, looked particularly dangerous, and the team's midfield of four had played particularly well. A tight, two line defense had held Free Republics back, and Wendell Jakerein was proving himself a marvelous goalkeeper. It would be a challenging game for the Golden Throne, and Anter had not one drop of care in him to help the gaffer find the key to Northwest Kalactin's lock.

He went home late that night, having sat on his computer into the early hours. Mr. Jorah Valooh — the manager — did not like his analysts to come empty handed. He did not work with witless number guys, because you could not be a numbers guy without wit. Anter slept perhaps three hours, if that, and all three hours he dreamed of Ilyna's face. When he woke early morning, he was tired of seeing it.

In the shower, he felt numb. He made toast in his small kitchen and brewed himself a cup of coffee, but neither the food nor the caffeine seemed to lift him from the lull he had woken up into. Before leaving to return to work for an early morning pow wow with the technical staff to review the footage before showing it to Mr. Valooh, Anter shaved. As the razor came down his cheek to cut the final blade of hair he looked at himself in the mirror and put the razor back down on the vanity's porcelain surface. Placing his hands on the edges, he leaned down and gave a deep, long sigh.

"No more excuses, Anter," he said to himself. "After the game, you're going to go out and you're going to get some."

Somewhere within a server room on the tenth basement floor of the Highpoint Data Clearance Technologies headquarters, minute electrical impulses traveled up and down circuit boards, recording information and making computations. Highpoint was a data clearinghouse, responsible for regulating the data sharing between member tech firms. They connected with thousands of APIs, importing data from social media websites like Accelafeed and other sources. Every single aspect of a person's life ever publisized online, which today in age was most of it, was segmented and analyzed. It was then fed into hundreds of algorithms, probably more.

Some of those bites detailed the life of Anter Jora, a 24-year-old video analyst employed by the Golden Throne's national football team. He recently broken up with his girlfriend, Ilyna Lenis. It knew this from a status change she had made, recorded in both subject's data tables. Today, he browsed through clothing items in various online stores, buying two dress shirts, new shoes, and a Ŗ75 pair of jeans. Next, the male subject purchased a bottle of cologne.

He was desparate for love, uncertainty, and growth. He was ready to buy a new life.

by **Chromatika** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 10:02 pm

Cosnoelta 1-4 Chromatika
Goals: Sierra '21, Armageddon '39, Niro '78, Gail '88
Starting Lineup: Joy (C); Ruth - Ibex - Anderson; Kristine - Limones - Armageddon - Haxon - Croix-Pierre; Sierra - Bird.
Substitutes: McBee -> Ruth '58, Niro -> Croix-Pierre '73, Gail -> Bird '81
Game Summary: A first start for many - Ruth, Ibex, Kristine, Limones, Armageddon, Haxon, Croix-Pierre, and Bird - ended up to be a solid game for the Chromatiks as the defensive triangle of center midfielders allowed the wingers to play up with the strikers and contribute to all the scoring. It was a rather solid start to the campaign for the Chromatiks who are trying to return to the Proper.
Next: Chromatika vs. American Eastern States
Proposed Lineup: Williams; McBee - de Aea - Austic; Kelly, W. - Mora - Armageddon - Kuzami - Han; Vidal - Victoriane (C).

Part 1: Inkilings

INCOMING TRANSMISSION

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TRANSMITTING
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DECRYPTION COMPLETE
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RECEIVING TRANSMISSION
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START MESSAGE
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THE DARK CRUSADER AND THE PARTY ARE COMING NEAR. 
CEASE ALL OPERATIONS.
INITIATE PLAN ALPHA BRAVO GAMMA. 
ELIMINATE ALL EVIDENCE.
MEET IN SPOT THETA.
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END MESSAGE
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by **Qusmo** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 10:16 pm

Qusmo National Team wins in first match

Qusmo’s national team is in the midst of wild celebrations in the wake of their victory over Wolves Clans. Ilinx-Kepex Zev scored in stoppage time to give their nation a 1-0 victory in its first ever match. As the beginning of a World Cup qualifying campaign, it was a great result for the Qusmi’y.

After the match, star midfielder Ilinx-Kepex Zev told reporters that they were most proud of the opportunity to captain their national team in its first-ever match. “When I heard our anthem being played, it gave me such amazing pride. I couldn’t not give my country every bit of effort I had within me to win. And that’s just what we did.”

Ilinx-Kepex was quick to deflect praise, however. “It was really a fantastic effort all around to win. If our defense hadn’t been solid, if Cuf hadn’t made some saves, if the other midfielders hadn’t won us possession, if our forwards hadn’t kept the relentless pressure up, we wouldn’t have been in the position to win with such a late goal.”

Indeed, the Qusma team played superbly. From the opening whistle, Qusmo seemed eager to play in front of a raucous home crowd in Qanz, & they rewarded their supporters with an immediate barrage on the Wolves Clans goal. In the first fifteen minutes, Qusma players recorded seven shots, including several balls that the Wolves Clans keeper deflected away from their net; however, excellent goalkeeping play, some opportune defensive work, & a couple of offside calls kept the match scoreless.

“Certainly, I thought we should have been up 2-0, at least, after the first fifteen. I don’t think those goals should have been disallowed,” said Rilan-Jerat Nev after the match. Fortunately, it proved not to matter for the final result. Wolves Clans were able to regroup after the first precarious quarter hour, & they even got two good looks on goal late in the first half.

“Fantastic job by [Qusma goalkeeper Xynat-Evela] Cuf today. They’ve proven time & time again that they deserve to don the national team kit, & they proved that today. They made some awfully difficult saves to preserve our clean sheet today, & that’s what really made the difference,” glowed manager Avarn-Oxolt Ban. “All of our players did a fantastic job, & Cuf was really one of the best.”

The match was not over yet, however. After two promising attacks early in the second half were ended prematurely by poor crosses from midfielder Forzu-Ralox Kal, they were substituted off in the fifty-ninth minute, with Jralv-Nexev Pec coming on in their place. “Kal was just nervous, I think,” explained Avarn-Oxolt. “It’s perfectly understandable; it’s nil-nil at home in a World Cup qualifier that happens to be your country’s first-ever international match. It’s no wonder why Kal had a bit of nerves today. I think they’ll be fine for our next match, against Beepee, though.”

That wasn’t their only substitution of the match, as left midfielder Kynda-Sevet Pec & centreback Yelto-Alfan Ono were replaced by Ozolx-Mazur Guv & Zenon-Gerol Kal, respectively, in a double substitution in the eighty-third minute. “At that point, it’s the end of the match, & our players were tired. We were trying to both make sure we held on to one point & also tried to pick up three. We needed fresh legs both in front & in back to make sure that happened,” clarified Avarn-Oxolt. “It’s not that they played poorly; they were just a bit tired, & I felt that some fresher bodies would help the team over the last ten minutes of the match.”

Ultimately, it was not any of Avarn-Oxolt’s substitutes that made the difference; it was the captain, Ilinx-Kepex Zev. During the short stoppage of play extended for the substitution, they tried to rally as many Qusma players as were within earshot to finish the match strong. “Honestly, I didn’t really hear what Zev was saying, but I saw that he somehow still had energy & was still going to give it his all. That motivated me to push myself even farther over the last few minutes of the match, too,” striker Xilit-Zaxac Yol revealed to reporters afterwards. “That one seems virtually tireless. It’s really amazing to watch.”

Amazing it was, as Ilinx-Kepex made a critical standing tackle just outside Qusmo’s box in the ninetieth minute of the match. They dribbled forward, waiting for options to develop, but the midfielder marking them slipped, & then it looked as if Ilinx-Kepex might be able to pull something off on their own. They sprinted forward with phenomenal pace, considering what they had already put themselves through on the day, & eventually was able to slot the ball into the top right corner of the post from twenty yards out in the face of an onrushing Wolves Clans defender in the second minute of stoppage time.

As their teammates mobbed them, Mastad Qusma became a cacophony of sound, & Ilinx-Kepex was seen visibly crying. “I’m telling you, nothing compares. Absolutely nothing. Even thinking about it now, I’m getting somewhat emotional,” confessed the captain. “What an amazing honour it is to be on this team, & to lead it. And to score like that, in front of these fans, in such a momentous situation, it’s simply indescribable. I’m so grateful to all those who made this possible for me, both my teammates on the pitch today & those who helped me along my way.”

The national team has a while yet to go on its way, as this was the first of eighteen World Cup qualifying matches it will play before play kicks off in Starblydia & the Equestrian States. Manager Avarn-Oxolt has previously expressed their desire to take a point from match day two, against the reigning Baptism of Fire champions Beepee at Pinewoods Stadium. “Of course, it’s going to be an extremely difficult match. It’s going to take all these players have. But, from how they played today, I think they can do it. I know they can do it,” vowed Avarn-Oxolt.

Beepee lost in heartbreaking fashion to open their qualifying campaign; they conceded a goal off a free kick in the eighty-ninth minute to seventeenth-ranked Ceni to lose 1-0 on the road. In many ways, it was the opposite of what the Qusmi’y were treated to. Qusmo hopes, however, that Beepee won’t get redemption soon. They have proved today that Qusmo has come to play, & that it has come to win.

Qusmo 1-0 Wolves Clans
Mastad Qusma, Qanz, Qusmo
Ilinx-Kepex 90'+2
Cards: None
Injuries: None
Substitutions:
59' Jralv-Nexev for Forzu-Ralox
83' Ozolx-Mazur for Kynda-Sevet
83' Zenon-Gerol for Yelto-Alfan Ono

Quick notes for Beepee match:
Same Starting XI, reserves, & style modifier (-2) as against Wolves Clans
First-choice kits (red & gold)

by **Mriin** » Wed Apr 25, 2018 10:38 pm

"There we fucking go!" Solara cheered from the sideline of the eerily calm stadium, as Jorm leaped to meet Malia's cross and horned it in for his second. "You get that shot, Mako?"

But the youngster didn't respond, instead being turned around and panning the camera over the crowd that seemed to blend into the stands, save the pockets of purple and blue that were the travelling Mriinian fans.

She waited another moment, then looked back when she realized a response wasn't coming. "Oh, don't get... too fussed by the crowds in places like this. It's actually pretty common."

"That just makes it even more fucked up! Who are all these people? What do they do when they're not at football games? The city was absolutely dead when we drove through!"

Don appeared next to them, in his unsettlingly stealthy fashion, and interjected. "Incredibly complex socio-economic factors can have very strange effects on a nation. If you want to have a better grasp of it, go study it at Maal International University for thirty years. Otherwise, take in the game." He gestured forward just in time for Tali'raia to scuff in a sloppy save from the Eastern American keeper.

Mako rolled his eyes and started tinkering with the camera's settings. "Not a whole lot to take in. Their players don't have names, this was never going to be a game."

A little gust of flame left the dragon's lips. "Absolutely never say anything like that again. Attitudes like that are part of why we've done so well--higher-ranked teams getting complacent, looking at games they 'should' win as guarantees, letting their guard down and getting burned for it. But we played every game to the hilt, and got the results to show for it."

"But even that's not without its downsides," said Solara, as she rubbed one of her hamstrings. "I love leaving everything on the field, but it wears on you. That's part of why Joren and I pitched this rotating front line thing; we've got so many amazing strikers, why not give them time to let loose and shine, while buying us more time to recharge?"

by **The Sherpa Empire** » Thu Apr 26, 2018 1:54 am

----֎-֎-֎----‭

‭The Dragon King of Tibet was not actually a king, but he was actually a dragon, and very few people were brave enough to argue with him when he said he was King of Tibet. He was also a football fan.

‭He lived in a cave hidden high in the mountains in southern Tibet, near the border with Nepal and the Capital District. The cave was filled with gold, jewels, and the bones of people and animals that the dragon had eaten. It was also equipped with a large flatscreen TV, which the Dragon King used so he could watch football without scaring the crowds at the stadium.

‭He didn't necessarily dislike people, but he hated crowds. He liked the few Sherpas who were brave enough to visit him at his cave. (He also liked Sherpas who were simmered in curry, though that was a pleasure he hadn't partaken in for some time.) But he didn't like cities or crowds. He could talk to people if they came to him one or two at a time, but there was no way to have a conversation with a crowd where everyone was screaming and panicking -- and people did scream and panic when they saw a 20 metre dragon wandering down a city street. As much as he loved football, and he had never made the trip to Kathmandu or Lhasa to watch a game in person. The cities were too difficult to move around without stepping on anyone or breaking anything. It was disappointing that he couldn't watch the games in person, but he was used to it.

‭However, the World Cup had brought a new level of excitement, something special that didn't happen every year. The Dragon King resisted the urge to go down to Kathmandu to watch the first game, but after an embarrassing loss to Mercedini -- a loss in which Jai Mauryan and Ruixiong Yu had made complete fools out of themselves -- he could not contain himself any longer. Jai Mauryan played for Kathmandu during the regular season and was one of the Dragon King's favorite players, so it was particularly frustrating to watch him bumbling around while Daniel Dostalok kicked the ball right by him -- and more than once.

‭The Dragon King knew where Mauryan lived. For a creature that did not live among humans, he was surprisingly good at keeping tabs on them, and he had been watching Mauryan for a long time. Attracting the attention of supernatural creatures was one of the big downsides to being a celebrity in the Sherpa Empire. The Empire was not so steeped in magic that it infringed on the daily lives of ordinary people, but it did have magic, and it wasn't that unusual for supernatural creatures to take an interest in sports or music.

‭Jai Mauryan was exhausted when he arrived home. It had been a long day and a tough game. He was just settling down in front of the TV with a can of beer when he heard something thump loudly in his front yard. He glanced in the direction of the noise and was so startled by what he saw that he almost spilled his beer. There was a dragon staring at him through the window!

‭Mauryan had never seen a dragon before and had never quite believed they were real. He let out a frightened yelp and scrambled to find his phone. He need to call the police! Before he could dial, the dragon pulled open his front door and stuck it's head in the hall. "Don't be alarmed," it said. "I just want to talk to you. Come out and let's get some curry."

‭Mauryan was confused. "Wait... What?" he said.

‭"I came to talk to you and I want to have some curry," said the dragon. "Do you know any good curry places that are open at this time of night?"

‭Mauryan was still quite shocked to have a dragon at his door, and was struggling to process what he was seeing and hearing. "OK, so if I take you out to get curry, you won't hurt anyone?"

‭"Yes," said the dragon. "I just want to talk to you."

‭"Why?" said Mauryan.

‭"You need to play better defense," said the dragon. "The World Cup is the biggest sporting event in the multiverse, and it's embarrassing to watch the Mercedinians run circles around you."

‭"Hey!" said Mauryan. "Mercedini is a highly ranked team. Those guys are some of the best players in the world. It's harder than it looks to stop a team like that!"

‭"I know," said the dragon. "That's why I want to talk to you. I've been watching football for a hundred years, so I know what I am talking about. Take me to a curry shop, bring your phone, and we'll look at the footage and I'll tell you what you're doing wrong."

‭"You can't just leave me alone and let me get some rest?" Mauryan asked. "Getting enough rest is important."

‭"I want to get curry," said the dragon.

‭"You can get curry by yourself."

‭"No, I want you to come with me. Bring your phone so we can talk about the game."

‭Mauryan wasn't eager to argue with such a large and intimidating creature, and even if the dragon expected him to pay for the curry, he had money. He grudgingly took the dragon to the nearest curry shop that was still open. There weren't many people on the street at this time of night, but the few they did see mostly fled in terror at the sight of the dragon. The proprietor of the curry shop shrank back in fear, his eyes round as saucers, when he saw the dragon on the sidewalk outside. The Dragon King did not fit through the door, so he sent Mauryan to order for him -- 5 orders of goat curry, 5 orders of chicken, and 5 of beef -- and bring the food out to the sidewalk.

‭Passersby gave them strange looks as they sat on the sidewalk slurping curry and talking football. The Dragon King was blocking the sidewalk, and there was no room for him to get out of the way. Mauryan would have rather been at home getting some rest, and he would have rather kept the ₹2700 that he spent on the food, but the dragon actually did know what he was talking about. When they had finished eating and going through video of the whole game, the Dragon King agreed to take Mauryan home. "But I want to see you win!" the dragon added.

‭"We're trying, but you can't win them all," Mauryan insisted. "We're playing against some of the best teams in the world. I can't promise that we'll win, but I promise I'll play my very best, OK?"

‭"I suppose that's all you can do," said the dragon. He kind of wanted to pester Mauryan more and make him promise that the team would actually win, but he knew it wasn't fair to demand that.

*Current exchange rate ₹107 = $1NSD, so ₹2700 is around $25.

----֎-֎-֎----‭

by **Nephara** » Thu Apr 26, 2018 2:03 am

Lisander 1 - 2 Nephara
(4-2-3-1) 1 - Tsattalios; 18 - Brymora, 5 - Konoval (vc, 6 - Scharner (3c) 81'), 22 - Bruyne, 19 - Vicelich; 4 - Rowland (23 - Chilmark 81'), 15 - Rosenthal; 13 - Fanaiyan, 21 - Gosforth (c, 14 - Rowan 72'), 16 - Aspenwood; 10 - Kendall
Goals: Gosforth 14', Fanaiyan 27'

"Don't look now, but she's looking right at you."
Trajan Bruyne immediately looked now, straight into the unwavering stare of Nephara's Margravine, its head of state, Aurelia Fern.
She waved back, amused. Bruyne immediately shifted his glance to the ground, which he had the distinct advantage of never having voted for. Less awkward that way. Less pressure.
Leona Rafford laughed. "Told you! Aw, is big Tray-Tray blushing? What, you got a crush?"
"No! Shut up!"
Rafford just grinned and kicked him. "Well, get used to it. You're back in the hot seat now, mate. Under the big spotlight. Starting against the fucking Bulls, even!"
She had a point there, Bruyne had to admit. And it wasn't just the Margravine's presence throwing him off, it wasn't even being in the Farham Arena. It wasn't just the pressure of that green shirt on his back again. Nor was it the mental Audioslavian number 9 screaming "ALL OF YOU DIV! DIV! DIV!" in the tunnel while repeatedly punching the wall, making his unfortunate mascot burst into tears.
It was, at the end of the day, that it had all happened so fast, just as he'd started to write it off for good.

Michael Brandon had been a desperate man, though he hid it well. For someone who felt at his surest with a strong foundation, he was finding his core unnervingly weak of late. Misidjan and Konoval had endured terrible seasons for their clubs, and the former was in genuine risk of being pegged as an early bloomer. Malachite Scharner was an inspiration to the team off the pitch, but her legs were going on it. The attacking fullbacks he had at his disposal exacerbated the issue, and the leaky results in the CR had reflected this.
So who else was there? Steelhenge had been at the CR and done alright, but was still a little raw. Theuer was a solid option, but... there needed to be more. And the answer, as it happened, was right in front of his nose - he just didn't want to acknowledge it, because Trajan Bruyne hadn't been near the team for four years and hadn't exactly set the world alight then. When Brandon took over, he wasn't impressed by Bruyne's flash attitude or middling form, and never picked him.
But suddenly he was helping drag Mallox to the HL title. Mallox. Like it was 15 years or so ago, before Anders Engstroem left for greener pastures.
Whatever, he had to chance it, and while he didn't want to drag him in immediately, Lisander away seemed like a good, medium-sized test. He'd call up his two main workhorse centre-halves, while Bruyne's callup would send a positive message about form to the others. Unless he really pissed him off in the call...
On the other end, though, was an almost tentative voice.
"This is, eh, the Bruyne household? Look, if this is about life insurance again, I swear to God-"
"What? No. It's Michael Brandon."
"... Is this a prank call?"
"No! For fuck's- it's me. You know my voice, Trajan."
"Uh-huh." Bruyne still didn't seem convinced. Maybe the phone line from his hotel in wasn't as good as he'd hoped.
He was, though, eventually convinced, and predictably news of the callup dominated the sport headlines in all the Nepharim papers. 'Return from International Exile' his arse - he'd just been shit before, and arrogant. If he was now good and humble, then that was just bloody fine by him.

Much to his and Bruyne's relief, the match against Lisander went pretty smoothly, pretty much without comment. Nephara kept most of their best players fresh for Audioslavia, a must-win fixture, but not Konrad Gosforth, who rammed home the first goal with a violent strike that beat the goalkeeper at his near post, then set up the impressive Rosenthal to set up Fanaiyan for the clincher. Through it all, Bruyne took up a natural position next to the steady veteran Konoval, dashing about and making the first charge as the Mozi defender picked up the scraps he left. Lisander's goal, in the event, came from a penalty - generous, was the predictable Nepharim angle, but Vicelich did get as much man as she got ball despite her protests to the contrary.
He'd looked stable. He'd been assured. It was a solid 7.5/10 performance, without being put under the necessary pressure for a higher grade.
There was just one black mark.
In the dying moments of the game, Heron Kendall had rattled a vicious shot at goal that had been deflected away for a corner, and cursed - her 1:1 goal-to-game ratio was going to be sunk. Even so, the big Nepharim centre-halves rolled in menacingly for the corner, one that Aspenwood hit beautifully, drifting over the strander Lisander goalkeeper, perfectly finding Bruyne outmuscling his man at the far post, a nearly free header...
... and he put it over the bar.
He could laugh about it then, and did. But Michael Brandon looked him dead in the eye from the technical area.
It was a look that communicated a great deal, but most of all; "miss a chance like that against the Bulls and I will cut your feet off."
No pressure, then, he thought as he shivered in the cold, floodlit night. No pressure.

by **Brenecia** » Thu Apr 26, 2018 3:01 am

Brenecia 2 - 1 New Lusitania
(4-1-4-1) 20 - Hartigan; 2 - Marquess (5 - Beath 85'), 22 - Linvoy, 18 - Varney, 19 - Cattalock; 23 - Alweather; 7 - Crowther, 21 - Case, 13 - Wheeler, 16 - Corvey (11 - Ashbrown 61'); 17 - Bremner (9 - Riordan 72')
Goal: Wheeler 10', Crowther 79'

"Hey, boss. Looks like the first #ReidOut signs are up already."
Jim Reid gave his assistant manager a Look. "Was that really necessary, Colm?"
He grinned. "Just trying to give you some-"
"I mean, really?"
"- some, eh, motivation."
"How tae fuck is that motivating?"
"Means there's nowhere to go but up, boss. Nowhere to go but up."

Eight minutes later, Jim Reid gave serious thought to murdering Colm Beckwith and turning his body into a jaunty hat. He was not a violent man by nature, but the traffic-cone inspired defence of Gama's corner, which Dalot took full advantage of to bury, was enough to incite anyone to violence. Hartigan's intriguing new approach of not challenging the corner in any way was a learning experience for Reid, too. A learning experience in the amount of loathing he, a man who prided himself as being a father to his troops, could bottle up.
And he'd just spent the next couple of minutes working himself into a right old lather as some guy behind him called him a fat cunt when Corby Wheeler did...
... well...
... what she did.
Wheeler had had a somewhat flaky season in Cosumar, struggling to prove her young talent in a league where her talent didn't set her apart, just showed she belonged. She had an unfortunate tendency to get frustrated when the green didn't rub for her, and that could manifest itself one of two ways.
One, she drifts out of the attacking play, starts kicking and shoving her opponents, bickering with the referee and even her teammates with the air of someone who knows she's better that she's provided. That tended to snowball.
Or, two, she could fly through Fernandos, taking the ball with her as she went, go weaving past two, three players, find space, let the ball roll kindly for her favoured left boot and slamming it into the top corner past a motionless Patricio.
That was the one Reid preferred, for his part. After five bloody goalless defeats, Brenecia had their goal.
But that was still two points dropped. They needed another.

The search went on, and on, and on. Patricio sprung around his goal like a man fifteen years younger, the Lusitanian back three became a back five as the tenth-ranked side in the world tried desperately to find a way through. It was Niall Bremner's time to shine, but he could only underline that he wasn't yet the man they needed him to be, and he was pulled after a while. Corvey, too, so lethal in the A-League, failed to make an impact, and after a while the fans began to chant Sander Balliol's name.
Balliol didn't fit into the system. Balliol was on a run of two goals from his last eighteen caps. More pertinently, Balliol was at home, in Pasarga.
Fortunately, there is a God, and Brenecia did find their way through at last. Falcon Case's physicality and pace had been tough for the Lusitanians - or the referee - to deal with all match, and he marauded down the centre, doubled back past a desperately sliding Esgaio and slipped Brae Crowther through. She timed her strike to perfection, a first-time bullet into the top corner, leaving Patricio without a chance.
Relief rolled through the stadium. This was it. 2-1 up, eleven minutes remaining, yet to face a shot on target in the second half. Not even Brenecia could fuck it up from here, right?
Right.

"Did you ever consider maybe a curse was on your team?" some member of the press - Reid couldn't yet tell any of them from Adam - came at him with after the match.
Reid just shook his head, and smiled. "It was never in doubt, son. Never in doubt."

by **Beepee** » Thu Apr 26, 2018 3:19 am

Match Preview

BEEPEE v Qusmo

During his post-match interview before boarding the flight back to Beepee on Wednesday, Beepee striker Sam Veera was more than happy to discuss the prospect of qualification and the upcoming match against Qusmo.

"The 1-0 loss to Ceni shows were are not far from the standard of a top team. We are unlikely to qualify but very few clubs do at their first attempt. Whilst we're disappointed you lose we're determined to bounce back.

“We'll have to play well now in our next match. All week the gaffer has been saying to us to take care of our own job, get the three points first and foremost, and whatever our opponents do is up to them.

“We’ve got to get ourselves a win to give us confidence and move towards the top of the league, and if we get the chance to , then we have to make sure we do it. This match may be our best chance.

“ I believe in the boys and I’m more than confident we can get the job done.

Qusmo won their opening match against the Wolves Clans.

Beepee have no injury worries and go into their next match with their strongest squad.

World Cup 80 • EqueStar • Roleplay Thread

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