World Bowl XXXIII - Everything thread (Final posted)

[Taeshan]

The Fitin' Falcons of Taeshan have continued their resurgence in international American Football after a stunning quarterfinal run in World Bowl 32, with a solid start to World Bowl 33. The team is heavily favored to at least make it out of the group stage with only three ranked teams in the group and the Falcons, the middle side. With Alpine Union the highest seed and Chromatika the lower seed many of the fans of the gridiron peg the former champions as a likely team heading to the playoff rounds. With many new teams as fodder, and two evenly matched opponents many suspect the team might have a high chance of continuing on at least to the playoffs. And after their solid performance last go around many wonder if they might not just be able to make an actual run at a podium finish.

But before we get ahead of ourselves the Falcons have opened their most recent endeavor in the tournament with two wins. Oddly enough Bongo Johnson, the hosts, is doing a double round robin within the host nation and that means 14 matchdays for everyone to enjoy, but no home and away matches and nothing for the Taeshan home support to get especially excited for. While thousands of fans have visited the nation of Bongo Johnson, thousands more can't help but feel they are missing out on some action, and especially with Taeshan also having bid for the tournament. Ultimately the committee lost that bid and now the Falcons face 14 matchdays to see if they can move on to the playoffs.

The first of the two wins came against Rhineland Sued who although unranked, seemed for that game to put up a fight. The young Taeshani team in its second tournament likely did not expect the resiliency of their opponents and over the 60 minutes was forced into a lot of difficult plays. While the defense held for the most part the offense lacked a killer instinct and running back Parson Newberry fumbled twice on the Rhineland half of the field. Eventually the Knights were able to score two first half field goals and were down at the half 10-6. It took a while for any more score but early in the 4th Sam Clentimack found Andrew Michaelson for a game winning touchdown pass. The defense held for the final quarter and the Knights won their opener.

The second game proved much better for the Knights as they throttled North Dajao 40-13. With the offense firing on most cylinders and the defense keeping their opponents scoreless until late in the third quarter everything was coming up for the men wearing their white jerseys on the day. It was rather a coming out party for Parson Newberry after a rough start to the tournament as he twice found the endzone on long touchdowns. On the defensive side of things Oliver Hahn had a pick six early in the game that really fired up the team and late in the game kicker Martin Xavier kicked his third field goal of the tournament shortly after the Knights defense also forced a safety.

[Trans-Dniesters]

Приднестровская Суперлига Гридирон
PRIDNESTROVIAN GRIDIRON SUPER LEAGUE
SEASON I RECAP

Hello once again, comrades and fellow fans in gridiron! The last time we met, the teams we expect to be at the top of the Gridiron Super League, like CSKA, Dinamo Bender, and the Barunia Reds are at the top of the table while the teams we have come to expect to be at the bottom, like the Yeralenko Torpedoes, Bratsk Dolphins, and the Novonikolaysk Sharks are also at the bottom of the table. But I also remember saying that there's still room for this to change, so what do you say we continue our recap of the PGSL and take a look at what happened during matchdays three and four.

MATCHDAY THREE

Barunia-Karl Marx Reds      10  3  6  7  26
Yeralenko Torpedoes         10  7  0  6  23

Bratsk Dolphins             10 10  3 10  33
Admiral Novorossiysk        10  6  0 10  26

CSKA Tiraspol                6  7  0  0  13
Sheriff Tiraspol            14  0  3  3  20

Dinamo Bender                0  3  0  7  10
Rheinburg Spartans           3  7 14  0  24

Macaresti Gladiators        14 10  7  3  34
Novonikolaysk Sharks         3  7  0  0  10

Oh, it's hard to choose which match to focus on when all of these results are worthy of at least some kind of mention. Let's go out on a limb and start with the most notable game of the series, the Tiraspol derby between CSKA and Sheriff. The game was held at the New Army Stadium in Tiraspol, the one and only home of CSKA, but for today, the New Army Stadium failed to be the fortress that CSKA desired it to be. Yefrem Yakovlev returned to the starting lineup for CSKA after being sidelined with a training injury on the opening day of the season, and it showed in his performance. He completed only 60% of all passes and threw two interceptions as Sheriff built a two-touchdown lead on the back of a stellar performance from quarterback Iliya Tonev and tailback Nazariy Zelenko. Yakovlev did find Demyan Nikitich Medvedev in the second quarter to put some pressure on Sheriff but two field goals in the second half saw CSKA succumb to their first defeat of the season and allowed the Barunia-Karl Marx Reds to overtake the Army Club for top spot.

The second very noteworthy game in this matchday is the one between the Bratsk Dolphins and Admiral Novorossiysk. It was one of the most anticipated matchups of the league because it would pit two up-and-coming quarterbacks in Kelly Profit and Stan Serban respectively against each other, a test to see which of them is the better quarterback. Profit proved to be the better quarterback in this game, throwing for 201 yards and three touchdowns. Serban was no slouch himself, throwing 239 yards for two touchdowns, but in this game, it was Bratsk's field goals which proved to be the difference and showed that they wanted the victory more than the Seamen did.

In the other games, Barunia won a close victory against a determined Yeralenko side; only a missed field goal attempt at 29 yards from the Torpedoes prevented them from sending the game against the foreigners to overtime. Dinamo Bender was the next victim of the Rheinburg Spartans' defense, with Hieronymus Saller tallying three sacks in this game to add to the five that he had against Bratsk in matchday one. Finally, the Macaresti Gladiators demolished the Novonikolaysk Sharks 34-10, and the Sharks are still searching for that (at the moment) seemingly elusive first win of the season.

MATCHDAY FOUR

Yeralenko Torpedoes         10  3 10  7  30
Novonikolaysk Sharks        10 13  3  0  26

Rheinburg Spartans           0  7  0  7  14
Macaresti Gladiators         0  0  0 13  13

Sheriff Tiraspol            10  6  7  7  30
Dinamo Bender                0  3  7  7  17

Admiral Novorossiysk         3  3  7  3  16
CSKA Tiraspol                3 14  0  0  17

Barunia-Karl Marx Reds       7  7  3  3  20
Bratsk Dolphins              0 10  0  7  17

Once again, we are at the dilemma of not knowing where to start because a lot of these are juicy matchups which also deserve a mention as well. But let us once again start at the matchday's derby matchup, the Ixanian Derby between Rheinburg and Macaresti. Yes, it may not be as exciting as some of the other games in this matchday (Yeralenko vs. Novonikolaysk, hint hint) but at least it provided us all with drama until the end. For the first three quarters of the derby match, Rheinburg looked to have held back their rivals from the Ixanian state capital and was on their way to shutting out their state rivals, but then in the fourth quarter, Macaresti mounted what had to be an improbably comeback given Rheinburg's defensive prowess given the Spartans' newfound defensive prowess. Anastas Yermolenko and the Gladiators were suddenly finding gaps in the Spartans' defense, and Hieronymus Saller appeared to have vanished from the face of the earth. Macaresti scored two quick touchdowns after that, but a decision to go for a two-point conversion with 3:15 left on the clock would prove to be costly for the Gladiators. The Gladiators weren't able to make the two-pointer and Rheinburg responded with a touchdown from Lothar Hitzfeld, crushing the hopes and dreams of every Macaresti fan in the country.

Let us now head over to Rivymiyitevko for the game between the Yeralenko Torpedoes and the Novonikolaysk Sharks. At this point, everyone was probably now expecting an easy victory by the Torpedoes over the Sharks, but instead what they got was much more exciting, to a point. Novonikolaysk was actually leading Yeralenko 26-23 with 4:07 left in the fourth quarter when Yeralenko received possession. Torpedoes quarterback Janusz Kedzierski was able to move the chains rapidly to advance into the Novonikolaysk red zone and then, utilizing a shotgun formation, Kedzierski was able to find Maxine Stone (another Fleftic player and the second female player to officially join the PGSL) for a touchdown, leaving Novonikolaysk to continue searching for their first win anew once again.

In the other games, Sheriff Tiraspol demolished Dinamo Bender in "The New Derby", so called because Sheriff took CSKA's place as Dinamo's main rival in the Super League during the 2010s, resulting in the creation of a new derby between the two sides even though technically, all Tiraspol and Bender sides have their rivalries with each other. CSKA Tiraspol themselves triumphed over Admiral Novorossiysk in the Army-Navy Derby but only by the skin of their teeth. If it hadn't been for the two touchdowns that the Medvedev brothers (Demyan Nikitich and Andrey Nikitich, back as first-string quarterback after Yefrem Yakovlev's shameful display against Sheriff last matchday) had scored in the second quarter, and if it weren't for the CSKA defense limiting Admiral to committing to field goals, they could very well have lost the match. Meanwhile, the Barunia-Karl Marx Reds continue their inexorable march to the top of the PGSL table, this time sweeping aside Kelly Profit's Bratsk Dolphins in another game that could have been decided by a single field goal once again. Profit did a good job leading her team and putting the Dolphins within three points of the Reds with 2:13 left in the game clock but Dolphins kicker Russell Tobin (yet another Fleftic import into the league) was unable to find the gap between the posts from 43 yards away, meaning Barunia maintain their iron grip on the top of the table.

PGSL Table After Matchday Four

                              Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 Barunia-Karl Marx Reds       4    4   0    96   72  +24
 2 CSKA Tiraspol                4    3   1   119   79  +40
 3 Sheriff Tiraspol             4    3   1    80   54  +26
 4 Rheinburg Spartans           4    3   1    96   89   +7
 5 Macaresti Gladiators         4    2   2    69   43  +26
 6 Dinamo Bender                4    2   2    73   71   +2
 7 Admiral Novorossiysk         4    1   3    88   86   +2
 8 Yeralenko Torpedoes          4    1   3    66   87  −21
 9 Bratsk Dolphins              4    1   3    76   98  −22
10 Novonikolaysk Sharks         4    0   4    59  143  −84

At the end of matchday four, we still have two unblemished records, but I'm sure that one team would like their record to have at least some sort of blemish sometime soon. That team, of course, is the Novonikolaysk Sharks, who are now four games without a win. At the other end of the spectrum is the Barunia-Karl Marx Reds, who are undefeated in four games and don't want to see that record broken anytime soon. Yes, at the moment it's quite a strange-looking table, what with the foreigners topping the Pridnestrovian gridiron league but once again, it's still early days and a Pridnestrovian team could yet come away from this season with the Republican Shield, the trophy awarded to the team that tops the PGSL table at the end of the regular season.

Three consecutive defeats see Admiral Novorossiysk begin to slide down the wrong end of the table, almost like what their football counterparts are doing in the Super League at that moment. Consequently, CSKA Tiraspol are still in the running for the number one spot after their narrow victory against Admiral, and Sheriff Tiraspol and Rheinburg Spartans round out the top four of the league. But there's still more drama up ahead so for a look at matchdays five and six, make sure to tune in again next time. Till then, До свидания.

[Tenburg]

Kevin Mullen poured a full bottle of water on his head before taking another and chugging it with gusto. "Fuck." He panted heavily, tossing his helmet to the grass. "Who'd you say we got tonight?"

"No idea," replied his fellow sixty-minute man, Conor McKellan, taking a swig of his own bottle. These were filled with sports drinks; this isn't baseball where they have beer for you if you make it to third base. "Wasn't me who said it."

"Well who was it?"

"I don't even know, it was someone in the locker room."

Kevin cracked a grin. "Whatever, we'll figure it out."

Their quarterback, Damien MacGregor, came over, fist bumping both of them. "Man, I gotta tell ya, I don't know how you two are doin' it."

"It's hot out here," Conor agreed, a little surprised at himself. Playing as a center down after down is hard enough; playing linebacker on the other side every other down... even he didn't know how he did it sometimes, but damnit, he did it.

"Like my backup center in Crosskeys, his name's Roy... nice guy, but my god does he bitch. So much."

Kevin chuckled. "Ye signed up for it, kiddo."

"Man, that's what I tell him," Damien replied. We're out here bustin' our asses. You don't wanna bust your ass, don't come out here. Not my fault Tzrinity College takes practice easy."

"OH." Kevin hated Trinity College. Never met a nice person that went there. "Lemme at him for a minute, I'll whip the yuppie out of 'I'm."

The three shared a laugh.

[Abanhfleft]

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

Gabbing on Gridiron
with Dara Keane

Abanhfleft     14  7  3  7  31
Tenburg         7  3  0  7  17

Well, ultimately that was another winning game for us, but even though we won by a handy margin, why is it that I feel like we just barely scraped past Tenburg? I'm not complaining, I'm just wondering if there's anyone else out there that feels like this was a closer game than it probably really is.

Well, there's not much for me to report from this game because even though I say that we just squeezed past Tenburg, another part of me knew that we were going to win this no matter what. Jeremy Lacazette scored twice in the first quarter and after that, we just never looked back. Saddam Hussain scored the lone Fleftic touchdown in the second quarter and closing quarterback Danny Villavicencio scored his own touchdown with 5:51 left in the fourth quarter. Not quite the performance that we were all looking for, honestly, but at least we won.

Credit where credit is due, though. Tenburg did give us a decent run for our money even though they did run out of steam in the middle of the game. They mounted a sort-of comeback in the fourth and landed a touchdown but then damage was already done.

So what's there left for me to talk about? I can hardly talk about football (association football, that is), rugby, or basketball in a Gabbing on Gridiron post, can I? Well, you're right, I can't. So that's why I'm going to focus on a bit of gridiron news coming out of Pridnestrovia, who are now just below us in the group standings, I believe. Well, word on the Pridnestrovian street is that they're already thinking about expanding their Gridiron Super League after that admittedly very successful first season. Two expansion teams are already being mooted, with Kesselburg and Antakya being the most likely candidates for the expansion teams. There's also talk of adding a second conference to the PGSL to account for the growing number of teams (and that's their choice) although I think for the moment their current system is working very well for them. If they add even more teams then more conferences is all well and good too but right now, they've got a good system working for them and, as they say, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Oh, and as a sort of bynote or postscript, remember that Byquist curse that we were all talking about a few years ago, the curse of Tess Byquist causing chaos wherever she goes every time she scores? No? Anyway, the first event that we can attribute to her goalscoring form, the crash of a Weehawken Air Express on final approach to Bolkonsky Airport, has finally had its investigative report released. Apparently, a combination of factors such as poor maintenance of the engines and fuel lines, a relatively new pilot in control, and someone failing to convert gallons to liters or pounds or something like it all contributed to the crash. Expect a Troubled Skies episode about the whole matter sometime soon.

Well, that's all I can talk about with you guys for now. Til the next time.

[Tenburg]

"So, wait... we don't have a game tonight?" Kevin cocked his head, and somehow a combination for sadness and rage began boiling in his stomach.

"Nope," replied his six-foot-five, three-hundred-pound teammate, Donald Black. Donald was the best player in the SPNI, but since Kevin got all the flashy highlights, they were spoken of on two different planes. Donald was, however, making a name for himself already in the World Bowl; four sacks through three games. "It's our first bye." He chuckled. "You know they told me you never read the schedule."

"I don't," Kevin admitted. "Just practice for x, y and z and beat the shit out of x, y and z when they show up. No need fer names where we come from."

Donald apparently found this funny, laughing. Kevin may have missed a lot but he swore he had yet to see the big man laugh. Crack a smile once in a while, sure, but never laugh. Especially not on the field. He'd just rip through the line, murder the QB, and come back to the huddle for the next one. "Hey, man, that's one way to go about it." He hung his helmet on the hook in his locker and walked away, not even bothering to tell Kevin he was leaving.

Kevin didn't really mind, per say, but he was a little confused. His phone buzzed. It was a text from another teammate, wide receiver Essex Johnson.

bruh me n coley finna hit the town. u wanna come with

Kevin shrugged to himself. He replied promptly.

Sure, why not.

[Bongo Johnson]

**MD4 Cutoff**

[Bongo Johnson]

Matchday 4 Results

Group A

Sibandias 33–21 Bojikstan
Bongo Johnson 14–38 Drawkland
The Orion Islands 3–40 Royal Kingdom of Quebec

Group A                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Royal Kingdom of Quebec        4    4   0   0   120   56  +64    12
2 Drawkland                      4    4   0   0   125   63  +62    12
3 Bongo Johnson                  3    1   0   2    68   90  −22     3
4 The Orion Islands              3    1   0   2    39   87  −48     3
5 Firebolt                       3    1   0   2    45   60  −15     3
6 Sibandias                      4    1   0   3    80   97  −17     3
7 Bojikstan                      3    0   0   3    49   73  −24     0

Group B

Tenburg 14–20 (F/OT) Barunia
Pridnestrovia 21–20 Abanhfleft
Lisander 13–3 The Tiber and Wisdom

Group B                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Pridnestrovia                  3    3   0   0    74   49  +25     9
2 Abanhfleft                     4    3   0   1   130  102  +28     9
3 Barunia                        3    2   0   1    88   69  +19     6
4 Tenburg                        4    2   0   2    77   74   +3     6
5 Lisander                       3    1   0   2    43   58  −15     3
6 Mostly Idiots                  3    1   0   2    70   88  −18     3
7 The Tiber and Wisdom           4    0   0   4    42   84  −42     0

Group C

Buddharia 30–33 Cosumar
Qasden 10–7 (F/OT) Allamunnic States
Vangaziland 19–6 New Jarwel

Group C                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Cosumar                        3    3   0   0    66   49  +17     9
2 Buddharia                      4    2   0   2    97   75  +22     6
3 Vangaziland                    3    2   0   1    77   61  +16     6
4 Qasden                         3    2   0   1    76   63  +13     6
5 Allamunnic States              4    2   0   2    67   68   −1     6
6 The Kiaser Colonies            3    1   0   2    56   44  +12     3
7 New Jarwel                     4    0   0   4    40  119  −79     0

Group D

Equestrian States 10–29 Amuaplye
Kaboomlandia 17–21 Free Republics
Newlands 3–13 Hampton Island

Group D                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Free Republics                 4    3   1   0    80   51  +29    10
2 Kaboomlandia                   3    2   0   1    89   35  +54     6
3 United States of Devonta       3    2   0   1    47   42   +5     6
4 Hampton Island                 4    2   0   2    40   57  −17     6
5 Amuaplye                       3    1   1   1    53   40  +13     4
6 Newlands                       3    1   0   2    37   54  −17     3
7 Equestrian States              4    0   0   4    44  111  −67     0

Group E

Newmanistan 6–16 Greater Vakolicci Haven
Aggrey-Finn Land 10–24 HUElavia
Gregoryisgodistan 29–14 New Danican

Group E                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Newmanistan                    4    2   1   1    85   60  +25     7
2 West Phoenicia                 3    2   0   1   101   39  +62     6
3 Greater Vakolicci Haven        3    2   0   1    63   39  +24     6
4 HUElavia                       4    2   0   2    77  103  −26     6
5 Gregoryisgodistan              3    1   1   1    65   53  +12     4
6 New Danican                    4    1   0   3    68  139  −71     3
7 Aggrey-Finn Land               3    1   0   2    62   88  −26     3

Group F

Rhineland Sued 6–23 Chromatika
North Dajao 0–16 Alpine Union
Taeshan 19–13 Space

Group F                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Chromatika                     3    3   0   0    50   15  +35     9
2 Taeshan                        3    3   0   0    72   36  +36     9
3 Alpine Union                   4    3   0   1    48   37  +11     9
4 Velstrania                     3    1   0   2    30   40  −10     3
5 North Dajao                    3    1   0   2    43   75  −32     3
6 Space                          4    1   0   3    54   69  −15     3
7 Rhineland Sued                 4    0   0   4    36   61  −25     0

[Tenburg]

Vs. Barunia, 7-0 BAR, 8:26 1Q

Kevin, Essex and Patrick Coley stumble-sprinted out onto the field, and as they looked to their teammates, they quickly realized that they were not the only ones to be mistaken about the scheduling. Their coach, Jim Roe, usually a severe, no-bullshit man, was only relieved to see them.

"Thank fuck, boys, you're here!" he said with a deep sigh. "We missed ye on a deep bomb, Kevin. Offense is taking the field right now, get in there, the three o' ye's."

The three of them looked to each other, though they couldn't really see each other considering how absolutely wasted they were.

"Ey, if them baseball fuckers can do it, so can we," Essex said as he struggled to put his helmet on.

"Aye. Let's waste these bastards." He threw his helmet on his head and jogged onto the field--or tried to, anyway, his inebriation led to his feet twisting together and him eating shit, which drew quite a reaction from the people of Bongo Johnson.

As he reached the huddle, spitting grass from his mouth, Damien grabbed him. "You good?"

"Not really, but we gotta go."

"Right." He let him go and got down on a knee as the offensive unit surrounded him. "Alright, we got trips right, key left, 631 smash f-drag sneak, alert, smash on one, ready."

The group clapped in unison as they broke the huddle.

The lights were blinding to Kevin, and the noise was rattling his eyes and making his vision even worse than it already was. He could barely hear Damien as he made a "ringo" call on the line of scrimmage, and before he could snap, a ref blew the whistle and threw some laundry.

Kevin looked to his right to see Essex struggling to get up from the ground. He hadn't been touched.

"False start... number 1, offense. Five yard penalty, still first down."

As they reconvened, Essex grabbed Kevin's arm. "Hit me bruh."

"Eh?"

"Hit me."

Kevin offered a few good smacks to the side of his teammate's helmet.

"Aight, aight aight aight, I'm good." He shook his head. "Man, I am so faded..."



They lined up on the line of scrimmage again, and this time, Damien was able to get the ball off.

Problem was, Kevin was too drunk to remember what to do here.

His eyes darted to the left to see a charging defensive end about to nail Damien. The stumbling running back dove for his legs, managing to get bashed in the ribs for his trouble, but it was a successful block nonetheless. He looked up to see Damien hurl the ball downfield. His vision was spinning as he rose to his feet.

"Reception completed... by number 1, Essex Johnson, for a 51-yard gain."

"No fuckin' way!"


Vs. Barunia, 14-7 BAR, 5:23 4Q

Kevin had been drinking nothing but Powerthirst since they arrived, and had gone through five bottles in an attempt to sober up... but Cassadaigan Car Bombs are hard to shake, especially five of them each.

Patrick had sobered up more than the other two, and had made a catch in the back of the endzone for the TD off of Essex's deep bomb. But Kevin was getting punished on both sides of the ball and blamed himself for the touchdown that put Barunia back ahead.

But it was time to turn it around.


He stood opposite Miles Dawkins, 15 yards back from the play, on 3 and 8. The snap came and he readied, waiting for someone to get close enough to him. He saw a receiver coming down the right side, and made a break for him as he snapped directions and headed deep over the middle. The quarterback thought Kevin was too far back to make a play, and that this was an easy first down.

The dumb bastard thought wrong.

As the receiver went up for the ball, Kevin drove through him, knocking the ball out of his hands and deflecting it upward, so that Dawkins could come down with the interception. As the receiver and Kevin fell to the ground, he couldn't help but throw up in his mouth a little.

Fucking Car Bombs.


Post-game, 20-14 BAR


"My head is fuckin' killin' me."

"Same."

"Me too."

Kevin, Essex and Patrick were slumped all over the hotel room; not really in their beds, but not quite on the floor. rap music played quietly from Patrick's phone.

"Fuckin' car bombs," Kevin groaned.

"Fuggin' car bombs. Yo, next time, let's not mix Jagmaster into anything either.," Patrick said.

"Yea, fuck that jawn," Essex agreed.

[Trans-Dniesters]

Приднестровская Суперлига Гридирон
PRIDNESTROVIAN GRIDIRON SUPER LEAGUE
SEASON I RECAP

Hello yet again, comrades and fellow fans in gridiron! The obvious good news of the days is that the Pridnestrovian national gridiron team have just completed a historical milestone today: they have defeated the Armored Revolutionaries of Abanhfleft in the World Bowl! Yes, comrades and friends, you read that right: Pridnestrovia defeated Abanhfleft in the World Bowl! Da, it's not yet the World Bowl final itself but this is a display of the superiority of Pridnestrovian gridiron over Fleftic gridiron and, truly, it is marvelous! But we are getting too ahead of ourselves here. We must all remember that we are here for the recap of the inaugural season of the Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League, and so that is what we shall do now.

MATCHDAY FIVE

Bratsk Dolphins              3  0  3  7  13
Yeralenko Torpedoes          3 10  9 10  32

CSKA Tiraspol               10  0 10 10  30
Barunia-Karl Marx Reds       0  3 10  0  13

Dinamo Bender                3  9  0 10  22
Admiral Novorossiysk         7 10  0 10  27

Macaresti Gladiators         3  6  3  3  15
Sheriff Tiraspol             3 10  3  7  23

Novonikolaysk Sharks         0  0  0  3   3
Rheinburg Spartans          10  6  3  3  22

Well, that didn't take too long, did it? As soon as I said something about Barunia's undefeated streak, CSKA Tiraspol just had to go and snap that streak. That's not particularly nice of the Army Club, isn't it? Or maybe CSKA just saw it as their patriotic duty as citizens and soldiers of the Pridnestrovian Republic to reclaim the top spot of the Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League from the foreigners who were, in all honesty last-minute additions to the league because the Kesselburg franchise couldn't get off the ground in time. But enough about critiquing the bigger picture that this result entailed. Let's get down to the match itself.

I hate to be the one to say it but it seems as if CSKA's faith in Yefrem Yakovlev has been lost following their loss to Sheriff Tiraspol in the Tiraspol derby. The Medvedev brothers (quarterback Andrey Nikitich Medvedev and tailback Demyan Nikitich Medvedev) now appear to be the Army Club's golden boys, and it was they who would prove to be instrumental in the Army Club's defeat of the Reds. Andrey Nikitich Medvedev threw for 309 yards and three touchdowns with a 96 percent completion rate, arguably the highest completion rate to date in the PGSL. In comparison, Barunia's Keno D'Cunha was only able to manage 70 percent for 285 yards, and he was only able to throw for one touchdown, and it wasn't even a throw at all, more of a handoff to Roger Taylor in the third quarter. Other teams, take note; this might very well be the way to deal with a devastating derby loss. CSKA is determined to show us all who is king in the Gridiron Super League.

In the other notable game of the matchday, the Yeralenko Torpedoes continued on their winning ways, with Janusz Kedzierski and company dismantling the Bratsk Dolphins comprehensively at the Dolphins' home turf. There was some anticipation and build-up related to this game as this would feature the two teams currently with females in their roster; the Dolphins' QB Kelly Profit and the Torpedoes' wide receiver Maxine Stone. In all actuality though, everyone assumed that there was no reason for both Profit and Stone to appear on the field at the same time as they were both on the offensive platoons of their respective teams. However, everyone was surprised to see that Kelly Profit was being utilized as one of the cornerbacks marking Maxine Stone, and that probably contributed to Profit's exhaustion later in the game, eventually getting pulled out of the offense in favor of Sviatoslavas Mingauskas. The decision to play Profit both in offense and defense for the early stages of the game between the Dolphins and the Torpedoes would prove to be a costly one for Bratsk as they were unable to mount a good game against Yeralenko and were only able to score a touchdown in the fourth and final quarter, long after the result had been decided in the Torpedoes' favor.

The Novonikolaysk Sharks' quest for their first win in the competition continues anew as the Rheinburg Spartans proved to be too tough an opponent for the Sharks. Hieronymus Saller was once again responsible for stifling the Novonikolaysk defense, recording two sacks against Novonikolaysk quarterback Cortez Amoroso and reducing the Sharks to only a single field goal at the tail end of the fourth quarter. Sheriff Tiraspol triumphed over the Macaresti Gladiators in Ixania, and Dinamo Bender and Admiral Novorossiysk fought a close match that exploded at the fourth quarter with both teams scoring ten points each to make their scores a little flattering; Stan Serban found Abdulla Abdulganiyev for a 30-yard touchdown with 0:26 left on the clock to win it all for the Seamen.

MATCHDAY SIX

Yeralenko Torpedoes          3 14  7  0  24
Rheinburg Spartans           7  0  0  7  14

Sheriff Tiraspol             7 14  6  7  34
Novonikolaysk Sharks         3  0  3  7  13

Admiral Novorossiysk         7 10  0  6  23
Macaresti Gladiators         6  0  0  6  12

Barunia-Karl Marx Reds       3  3  3  0   9
Dinamo Bender                3  3  6  3  15

Bratsk Dolphins              0  0 14  3  17
CSKA Tiraspol               13  7 14  0  34

The twists and turns continue to come in the Gridiron Super League. Barunia has now lost two games in a row; CSKA Tiraspol has rained on the Bratsk Dolphins' parade yet again; the Yeralenko Torpedoes are now looking more and more likely to secure a top-eight berth even as they showed to Pridnestrovia that Rheinburg could actually be defeated. Yet again we are spoiled for choice in the PGSL but we have to choose only two matches to focus on. Let's start of with Yeralenko versus Rheinburg, shall we?

Once again, it seemed as if no one could get past Rheinburg's deadly duo of Hieronymus Saller and Anselmo Britos (yet another Fleftic import into the PGSL). Not even the quick and slippery Maxine Stone could apparently get past Saller and Britos. Grzegorz Kimmich handed off the pigskin to Arkady Moronov for a 41-yard rushing TD to open the game and the first quarter while all Janusz Kedzierski could do then was get close enough for a field goal. Then, in the second quarter, Yeralenko exploded. It looked like Maxine Stone had memorized the routes and blocks that Hieronymus Saller and Anselmo Britos had used to choke her off in the first quarter and was now finding ways to get past them and evade their blocks and tackles. She scored Yeralenko's first touchdown of the game and then provided the distraction that allowed Isaak Khodorkovsky to make a 30-yard rushing TD from Kedzierski's handoff. Kedzierski himself then scored a touchdown in the third quarter courtesy of a sneak play, and while Rheinburg scored another touchdown in the fourth quarter and shut out the Torpedoes, the damage was already done.

Our next notable game is going to be Bratsk versus CSKA. Once again, it's another matchup of up-and-coming quarterbacks, Kelly Profit versus Andrey Nikitich Medvedev. And once again, it was the Army man who came out on top of this matchup as CSKA blew the Dolphins out of the water in front of the Bratsk fans. A 20-nothing barrage in the first half proved to bee too much for the Dolphins to handle, and although Bratsk came back with two touchdowns in the third quarter (one of them being scored by Profit herself), Andrey Nikitich and Demyan Nikitich were just unstoppable. Andrey Nikitich threw 93 percent for 340 yards for five touchdowns (one of which he scored himself) to secure a 34-17 victory for the Army Club.

I believe special mention should go to the Barunia-Bender game for being what the press is now calling a "penalty shootout". Both teams were unable to get close enough for touchdowns but they were willing to take their chances with field goals and that was how the Barunia-Bender game looked like an association football game. In fact, you could even say that Dinamo won by 5 goals to 3, or that Barunia lost by 3 goals to 5. That's how much both teams were reduced to by their particular game. Admiral Novorossiysk disposed of the Macaresti Gladiators, and the Ixanian capital club were also reduced to trying their luck with field goals just so they wouldn't get shut out. And still the Novonikolaysk Sharks continue to search for their first win of the season. Sheriff Stadium has always been a formidable place to visit for anyone who doesn't support the Golden Stars and it proved to be the case for the Sharks. At least they landed a touchdown, even if it was at the end of the fourth quarter. The same couldn't be said for a lot of other teams in this particular matchday.

PGSL Table After Matchday Six

                              Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 CSKA Tiraspol                6    5   1   183  109  +74
 2 Sheriff Tiraspol             6    5   1   137   82  +55
 3 Rheinburg Spartans           6    4   2   132  116  +16
 4 Barunia-Karl Marx Reds       6    4   2   118  117   +1
 5 Admiral Novorossiysk         6    3   3   138  120  +18
 6 Yeralenko Torpedoes          6    3   3   122  114   +8
 7 Dinamo Bender                6    3   3   110  107   +3
 8 Macaresti Gladiators         6    2   4    96   89   +7
 9 Bratsk Dolphins              6    1   5   106  164  −58
10 Novonikolaysk Sharks         6    0   6    75  199 −124

So, as the table stands, CSKA has reclaimed top spot from the Barunia-Karl Marx Reds. Barunia themselves are now down to fourth place following two consecutive losses against CSKA Tiraspol and Dinamo Bender. Sheriff Tiraspol and Rheinburg Spartans round out the top four, while Admiral Novorossiysk continue to slowly climb up the table, something that their soccer-playing counterparts seem unable to do at the moment. Dinamo Bender are now closer to the wrong end of the table rather than the top; the Bratsk Dolphins are also near the bottom despite being touted as one of the contenders for a top-four spot, and the Novonikolaysk Sharks are still winless in six games. Surely that's going to change soon. Or is it? There's only one way to find out, and that's to tune in the PGSL Recap once again, same time tomorrow. But until that time, До свидания.

[Abanhfleft]

Gaelic Gamers
Presents...

Gabbing on Gridiron
with Dara Keane

Pridnestrovia      7  7  0  7  21
Abanhfleft         7  7  0  6  20

Hmm, why am I getting that feeling that my anus is not well and properly clogged up like it should be? That's very strange when you think about it, isn't it? Usually, at this point in the day, I would be complaining time and again about how I'm becoming constipated just because my body refuses to accept that the game is over, either we won or we lost, and there's no more reason to be tense. But no, today things are different. I don't know why, but even though we lost to Pridnestrovia by a single fucking point, I'm feeling quite calm and composed. Everything's all right. It's just a game. It's just one point. It's just one loss. We've got more opportunities to win later on.

No, actually, are you kidding me!?!?! Like, what the hell, team! That was just one simple fucking point after conversion! One point after conversion! It's not even a damned two-pointer! One kick! Send the pigskin between the posts, tie up the game, and then score first in overtime! How much simpler could it be!?!?!? Somebody tell me, please, before I tear up my computer and chomp on its plastic gristly bits!!!!!!!

Nope, I've finally calmed down. No need to call for security now. I'm fine, I tell you. I'm fine. There's no need for the taser, cousin Aisling, or the cattle shock prod, cousin Graham. I'm going to return to the business of typing up a levelheaded (at least I'll try to be as levelheaded as possible after our boys dropped the ball in such a moronically obvious way. I'll stop typing out stream of consciousness now. There's no need to torture the common Fleftic person with that.) summary of the latest World Bowl game involving Abanhfleft, which happens to be the aforementioned Abanhfleft versus Pridnestrovia.

Where do I even begin? I mean, it all started so well for us. Our quarterbacks were the shining stars of this performance. Harrison Aumann, Cortez Amoroso, and Danny Villavicencio all contributed in key ways to our team in this game. All of them got one touchdown to their name (or at least Cortez did, the others just passed or handed off the ball to an eligible receiver and the receiver did the rest). But that Pridnestrovian QB, what's his name again, Serban.... phwoar! That dude really could give all our guys a run for their money. It's really a shame that we (meaning the Armored Revolutionaries, the Fleftic national American football team) didn't pick Stan Serban up when he was still playing in the FNLAF for Garufaleo and Albarecete. I mean, technically he was eligible as he was born in Abanhfleft to Pridnestrovian immigrant parents. If only it weren't for him being overshadowed by other guys both in Garufaloe and Albarecete (even though Albarecete was an expansion team and he had a good shout at being the team's starting quarterback) then probably Stan Serban could be suiting up for Abanhfleft today. Oh, what could have been....

The truth of the matter is, I don't know whether I should be angry at Cleveland Hyneman for botching the kick or at the wind because it chose to pick up at just the wrong moment and threw the oval the wrong side of the goalposts. That's practically the only highlight, the only talking point of this game. I can't think up of anything else. My mind has been consumed by the thought of the wind not picking up at that exact moment and the pigskin sailing between the posts for a point after touchdown, and what could have been after that. It's the stuff of alternate history right here! All the what could have beens, the people who would have been born because their parents would have had victory sex had Abanhfleft actually won the game. All I can think of now are the future Pridnestrovian soldiers who were conceived because their parents had victory sex after Pridnestrovia won against us.

Oh, and on another note, did you know that Kaboomlandia were on a 29-game winning streak throughout the group stages of the World Bowl ever since World Bowl XXX before it was snapped by the Free Republics? Yeah, me neither. Just thought you should know. Kind of like a bonus for you guys sitting through some of my random musings after that game against Pridnestrovia. I've been rendered mute, boys and girls. Typing is now my only means of communication. Just kidding. However, I am reminded of a weirdly timely quote right about now. What is dead may never die, but rises harder and stronger the next time. I don't know about the rising harder and stronger part, but I'm feeling quite dead inside already so I probably can't die now, can I? Till Solvermann, Till Solvermann, Till Solvermann, Till....

[Bojikstan]

Fraternidad, Volume 1: Raquel

PLAYLIST

01/Series Theme: Papercut, Linkin Park
02: The Mole, Hans Zimmer
03: Supermarine, Hans Zimmer
04: Paint it Black, Ramin Djawadi Instrumental

Part Four.

“They’re bringing us a long way just to kill us,” says Petro Kozlov, one of the two prisoners that had been locked away near the bottom of the yacht, in a cell that was really a storage closet. There were others, but the Kozlov siblings didn’t know where they were. They’d been isolated from their crew, and from the enemy, and they didn't even know what day it was. They knew that one of the Blasistas was bringing them food and letting them go to the bathroom twice a day, but that was their only measure of time.

Their phones had been taken from them and they had no clocks inside the cell, and the guards hadn’t told them anything. They could tell, though, that the yacht was moving. The motions and sounds of the waters under them were enough to let them figure that out. “They’re probably trying to ransom us. If they wanted us dead, we would be dead right now. They wouldn’t wait, and leave more time for us to get rescued by the military or the police or something,” replies Ana, sitting across the cell from Petro.

“So you’re saying they offered ransom and our parents haven’t paid it yet.”

“Maybe, or maybe they’re dropping us off at a neutral location. Y’know, where they won’t get attacked and arrested or killed as soon as they return to the ship. I don’t know. I know we’re alive for a reason.”

“I heard the guard saying something about the Gallians. You think they’re involved?”

“These guys are wearing balaclavas and surplus uniforms, and they’re wearing the red star. They’re Blasistas through and through, not Gallians-”

“But could they be working together?”

Ana scratches her head. “Possibly. I always thought of the Gallians as democratic socialists, not revolutionaries. I’m not sure why they would help the Blasistas, but they do hate our parents’ company. I know everyone is saying there will be a war over it, because they want us out of Golden Atoll.”

“Doesn’t matter for us, I suppose. We’re still trapped by these guys, no matter who they are-”

Petro stopped talking, because of hearing footsteps and shouting from outside the cell. There’s the distinct sound of gunfire, and it sounds like silenced weapons are being used. “The hell? Something’s happening outside,” he says, running to the door and pressing his ear to it, listening to the Spanish shouting going on outside. Suddenly, the door flies open and hits him in the face. There’s a group of people standing in the hallway, brandishing automatic rifles and staring to the left, where backup is supposed to be coming from for the other side. “Who are you people?”

“My name is Raquel, and the others are Costa and Bojovic. We’re from the Bojikstani Mafia, the Drustvo, and your parents brought us here to rescue you from the Blasistas,” says the woman standing closest to the cell, waving the two prisoners out. “Do you have any injuries? Will you be able to get back to the boat with us, or will we have to think of something else?”

“No injuries. We’re just a bit shaken. And hungry. You have another boat?”

“It’s waiting outside, come on,” Raquel says, and she leads Petro and Ana down the hallway, while the other Drustvo follow her from behind and watch their backs. They’re moving fast, but before they can reach the stairway to go to the top deck, they’re already being chased by another group of guards, who open fire on them. “Stay calm. Let the others handle this.”

Petro keeps moving but turns and watches, as the men dig their heels in and stand in the face of the incoming fire, shooting back before one of them, the one with the beard that’s been identified as Costa, tosses a grenade into the enemy formation. “Look away!” he tells Petro, as he and the other man turn and run after Raquel and the others, and Petro can see even with his back turned that there was a bright flash and that the grenade also transmitted a piercing sound that leaves everyone in the hallway with ringing ears.

“Wait a minute, everyone,” says Raquel, once they’re halfway up the flight of stairs. “I’m getting a radio call from Vicky. We might be in trouble… Big trouble…” she says, before holding her radio closer to her face and listening carefully to the words coming from the other side. “Come on! We need to get to the top deck! RIGHT NOW!”

***

Prior

Most of the crew of the Gallian carrier in the Endemian Ocean didn’t know what they were there for. They knew that their ship was being used to move some special forces units and potentially provide backup in case anything went wrong with one of the operations, but they didn’t have the specifics or know exactly what the operation was about. They were wondering if there was an operation at all, but something finally happened when one of the ace pilots was informed that there was a job at hand for him, by the special forces captain.

“Costain! We need you to fly out to the coordinates that flight control is about to give to you. We have friendly forces occupying the yacht that’s sitting at those coordinates, and they’re being attacked by a small band of enemy mercenaries who have their own boat. The ship isn’t armed, and we only have small arms there, so we want you to fly out and sink the thing before the mercenaries can get away with the POWs being held on the boat,” the captain explains. “These details, of course, are secret, and are part of the operation that’s bringing us to port in Lismere soon.”

“Aye,” nods Costain, who has his flight helmet in one hand and is still wearing his flight uniform. He was told to be ready to fly at a moment’s notice, but he didn’t realize it would be as part of a combat operation involving the special forces and foreign mercenaries. He wants to ask for more details, but he knows that he’s not going to get any. Gallia is tight lipped when it comes to their special operations. “I’ll get right to it, sir. Has the plane already been prepared?”

“Yes. You’ll be loaded up with every weapon that you could need to do this job, in addition to having a few cameras that will let us check the scene out for ourselves. As soon as you’re ready, head to the flight deck, and it should only be a minute or two before the launch. Godspeed, Costain. You’re one of our best pilots. Don’t fail us now.”

The Gallian ace nods again and turns to leave and finish getting ready, pulling his helmet overhead and starting to go through the checklist of actions that need to be taken with his uniform before he can get into the plane. This Gallia-Bojikstan conflict is getting more interesting by the day, if that’s what this is about… And Costain is one of the first Gallians to hear about actual hostilities with Bojikstan, assuming that the mercenaries are Bojikstani and based in Golden Atoll.

[Lisander]

meepgram

---

@nationalarenaleague We should never bow our heads or bend our knees. Keep the good job, boys and @agfa. This was only the first victory! #LisanderGridiron

40m

---

♡ 17 loved | (...) 2 commented

---

@agfa Thanks, @nationalarenaleague, we'll keep #growingstrong #LisanderGridiron
View 1 more

[The Kiaser Colonies]

Chapter 3 b: Inner Workings Pt. II

Mental strength is so important in any sport. Whether it's confidence or focus as discussed in part one of this chapter, it plays as big a role as any physical aspect. The mind is so complex that there's so many aspects that you need to get right. Hence, it felt important to make a second sub chapter to finish this topic properly. Because, while there are unique things athletes need to do to prepare mentally, they also have to sort out the basics that the average person would do to be prepared.

In anything, comfort and familiarity are a huge positive. A sense of community goes a long way to getting something done efficiently. The Kiaser Colonies team itself came from a social sports background, so the team unit was their big strength before any steps to player development or professional set ups were made. Seeing each other regularly, spending extended periods of time together at training camps and so on all help with this. This is the minimum standard for any serious team, however. Whether you're a gridiron team, rugby team or a football (soccer) team, your players will always spend time together in training. But you can't train to be friends. The Kiaser Colonies players and coaches were hugely in favour of organising activities and even, occasional, nights out. The traditions of post match drinking may have gone, but the team weren't going to let the sense of unity and enjoyment go. Between doing things like paint-balling, ghost tours, video game leagues in camp and even camping, the whole team bonded together like a bunch of friends starting university.

The closeness of the team can be an issue too though. This was the case, just 13 months out from the start of the World Bowl. On the night of July 29th, the gridiron community of the Kiaser Colonies lost one of its most notable characters due to the tragic passing of Sid Butler. The 36 year old veteran guard and co-founding member of the national side was involved in a serious car accident on his way home from work. A drunk driver had come speeding through a junction off the motorway outside New Sydney and struck the vehicle in which Butler was travelling on the drivers side. Butler was rushed to the St. Francis' General Hospital in New Sydney where he later died of a brain bleed due to injuries sustained in the crash.

Butler meant a lot to the people in his life. Most of all to his wife Gemma and his son Patrick, but to the Kiaser Colonies team as well. Sid had been one of the real characters in the dressing room. He was always one of the very first people who would talk to a new member of the team, got along like a house on fire with everyone in the dressing room and he loved a joke too. He was always having a laugh with the players and coaches. Whether it was an anecdote, a smart comment or snapping a freshly showered teammate with a towel, Butler was always entertaining the lads somehow. But that wasn't to say he was the squad clown all the time. Once he was on the field, he was a real leader. He was always one of the loudest in the drills and on the pitch. Butler was one who was never afraid to stand up and be counted.

Naturally, this took a huge toll on everyone. When you lose a huge part of a team like that, it can be devastating. Butler was a real linchpin for the team. The fact that he was lost in such sudden circumstances was hard to take for many, and the grief felt around the squad was palpable. The training camp scheduled for the weekend after the incident was cancelled. The following one was a sombre affair. The dressing room had never been a gloomier place as it had that first day. Nobody felt comfortable taking on that role of joshing around with the rest of them. It was clear there was going to be a lot of adjusting to be done. While their unity had made the loss so extreme, they would have to use it as their strength to come to terms with it.

It was a gradual process for everyone. It started slow, trying to slowly make the routine seem normal again. Some players just tried to carry on and let time heal the wound, while others needed more help. The coaching staff were quick to realise the need for bereavement counselling to be available to those who needed it. Several players did avail of the service which was organised and were clearly improving rapidly thanks to it. Eventually the dressing room began to perk up again. There were fond memories recalled of the tricks Sid would play on his mates, then a more comfortable dynamic began to return. The atmosphere of grief was gradually replaced and returned to normal. This transferred onto the field too. Along with the laughter and mirth in the changing rooms and cafeterias, the intensity and accuracy on the field came too.

Special mention has to go to his replacement in the squad, Elias Kincaid. While it was hard for the rest of the team, they didn't have to fill the shoes of one of the biggest names in the sport. And especially being so young too, it would have been unsurprising if he was to choke under the weight of the expectation. But the youngster showed incredible mental resolve to settle and establish himself on and off the pitch as a player Sid would have been proud of having in the team, with some impressive showings in the remaining qualifying and warm up games. All in all, the Kiaser Colonies came into World Bowl XXXIII in very good shape just over a year later after having to over come their unique problems in preparation.

The Kiaser Colonies team observing a moments silence in honour of Sid Butler in their first game after his passing

---

In game related news, the Kiaser Colonies are going into their fourth game of the World Bowl off the back of two defeats after hard fought, narrow losses to top seeds Allamunnic States and Cosumar. The third World Bowl meeting of the Colonies and States showed that a real rival mentality is starting to develop. The game was incredibly even despite the gap in rankings, so much so that it went into over time thanks to a field goal in the final quarter to tie the game at 24 points each. The Kiasers did go on to lose the game 31-24 after a States touch down in over time. The following game also saw the Kiaser Colonies in another agonisingly close defeat to Cosumar. The final scoreline would have had La-Bier ruing a missed field goal as the Kiasers went down 6-3 after a second consecutive valiant runners up performance. While both results can be looked at as good showings for a minnow of the game like the Kiaser Colonies, the defeats leave the Kiaser Colonies 1 from 3 and in 6th place in group C. After the bye round, the Kiaser Colonies are coming up against impressive debutantes Buddharia. Their form has been reminiscent of the Kiaser Colonies first World Bowl, as they won their opening two games. Like the Kiasers, they also narrowly succumbed to the Allamunnic States and Cosumar by very similar margins. Most notably, they managed to put 30 points on Cosumar and would have felt hard done by to walk away from that game without the points running out 33-30 losers. The Kiaser Colonies in particular will want to watch out for the star performers, quarter-back Cedric Turner and in form tight end Quinn Wallace. The pair have been firing on all cylinders to propel the opponents to victory, especially in the 26-6 win against New Jarwel where they combined for 2 touchdowns. However, Buddharia's strength stems from their defence, almost living off the mantra that "defence wins championships". The Kiaser Colonies contrasting view of the game will certainly be put to the test in this case, and we will need to see a marked improvement on the attack after the Cosumar performance. All in all, the Kiaser fans and those from Buddharia are in for one very intense game of football, a winner takes all clash in the battle for an outside chance at play-off football.

[Kaboomlandia]

Incredible streak snapped as Phoenix upended by Free Republics

Heading into Tuesday's game against Free Republics, the Kaboomlandians knew they would have a challenge on their hands, facing the undefeated group leaders. In the end, it was Free Republics that pulled off the upset, defeating Kaboomlandia 21-17 and snapping a 29-game winning streak in the group stage for the Kaboomlandians dating back to World Bowl 30. "It's bitter to lose the streak, but Free Republics just outplayed us today and it was a strong game for both teams," commented quarterback Travis Reuben, who threw for 284 yards and two touchdowns in a quieter game for the veteran quarterback.

The game opened with both teams unable to break through, as a pair of experienced teams were defensively sound to open the game. The first score of the game came with five minutes left in the first quarter, when quarterback Wibe Rus found Roman Vesely with a 14-yard strike in the end zone. But on the very next play:

"Phoenix looking to bounce back here, Dean Kevin kicking off for Free Republics. The ball is up in the air, back down to Manny Hayes inside the 5. Hayes running with it, runs into some trouble at the 20, but here's a lateral pass back, now the ball is with Simpson. Alex Simpson runs the ball up, gets to the 30, more cover, laterals it again, now Brett Schremp has it! Schremp running, he's over the halfway point, Jens Klug comes up to cover him, what's this, a third lateral pass! Now James MMalone has it, he's going to go all the way, over the goal line, the Phoenix strike back with three lateral passes off the kickoff!"

The second quarter was more defensive football, but near the end of the half, the Phoenix took their first lead of the game when Reuben found Pauly Anderson on a screen play from the 11-yard line. When the second half started, the Phoenix went right back to playing their strong defensive game based on one of the best secondaries in the world, stopping long passes from getting through and turning the game into a ground war. However, the defensive side of the Free Republics team was just as strong, but near the end of the third quarter, Caleb McCallum was able to drop a beautifully-placed 49-yard field goal between the uprights to put the Phoenix up by ten.

Free Republics would not go away, though. Halfway through the final quarter, the team broke through with a 24-yard run from Matthijn Admiraal to pull within three. The Phoenix offense stayed strong, but right at the end of the game:

"Free Republics opting for the safe route here, lining up for a game-tying field goal from 33 yards. Dean Kevin preparing, Ludvig Eide holding here. The ball is snapped...no, it's a fake kick, Free Republics going for it! Eide on the run, looking for an option, high pass, up high, Vesely makes the catch, he's all alone and he will score! Free Republics wins on a spectacular fake field goal play, and the Phoenix lose their first group-stage game in three years!"

Next up for the Phoenix is Amuaplye, who are fifth in the group.

[Vangaziland]

While most of Vangaziland was split between hip-hop, trance club music and slightly lesser percentage towards female pop music, one Vannish athlete once again proved his individuality. Like many other nations, Rock & Roll ran it's course through Vangaziland. The best era of Vannish rock was in the mid to late 1960s.

It has become almost impossible to catch any of those bands live. Some of the most famous Vannish rock is based on 80's glam rock. Vangaziland never had a huge scene in it, but various territories within the Empire did. Wrexwic was big into hair bands throughout the 1980s.

One group, Stark, performed in the city of Auster recently. None other than Dan Bundison was seen, standing in a prime spot in front of the stage. Cameras spotted the QB, aged in his late 20s, rocking his thinning hairline to the rhythm of the bass.

With the show being the 25 year anniversary of the group's 'Auster 1992' concert, the show was filmed for a DVD and live album. Bundison would be noticeable from several angles, including the behind the stage camera. He also received a cameo, with a profile shot catching him zoning out and dancing in a daze. It would still be some time before the official video would be released. A few clips of Bundison dancing, as well as the close up were leaked online.

His eyes looked a little narrow, with heavy eyelids seeming extra vulnerable to gravity. He sang along to the Stark Hit, 'Dazed And Unconfused', with producers catching the QB in what seemed to be an altered state.

The footage wouldn't lead to much more than teasing in the Vannish sports media. Athletes were allowed to utilize non-performance enhancing, legal, natural supplements including cannabinoids.

An earlier memo from the Vannish government's Sporting Department recommended limited cannabinoids for players in violent sports. Imperial doctors are researching the effects of the plant on concussions and brain injuries. There was the chance to lessen the long term effects of taking so many hits to the head.

Bundison has definitely taken some tough tackles in his day, with a few heavy hits coming in the World Bowl. Dan flew to Auster after practice only to fly back to the team on an overnight flight after the show.

The QB has not spoken on the concert, but is expected to in post game interviews.

[Bongo Johnson]

**MD5 Cutoff**

[Bongo Johnson]

Matchday 5 Results

Group A

Drawkland 19–29 The Orion Islands
Bojikstan 10–15 Bongo Johnson
Firebolt 20–0 Sibandias

Group A                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Royal Kingdom of Quebec        4    4   0   0   120   56  +64    12
2 Drawkland                      5    4   0   1   144   92  +52    12
3 Bongo Johnson                  4    2   0   2    83  100  −17     6
4 Firebolt                       4    2   0   2    65   60   +5     6
5 The Orion Islands              4    2   0   2    68  106  −38     6
6 Sibandias                      5    1   0   4    80  117  −37     3
7 Bojikstan                      4    0   0   4    59   88  −29     0

Group B

Abanhfleft 34–41 Lisander
Barunia 0–7 (F/OT) Pridnestrovia
Mostly Idiots 7–29 Tenburg

Group B                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Pridnestrovia                  4    4   0   0    81   49  +32    12
2 Abanhfleft                     5    3   0   2   164  143  +21     9
3 Tenburg                        5    3   0   2   106   81  +25     9
4 Barunia                        4    2   0   2    88   76  +12     6
5 Lisander                       4    2   0   2    84   92   −8     6
6 Mostly Idiots                  4    1   0   3    77  117  −40     3
7 The Tiber and Wisdom           4    0   0   4    42   84  −42     0

Group C

Allamunnic States 20–14 Vangaziland
Cosumar 49–28 Qasden
The Kiaser Colonies 41–20 Buddharia

Group C                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Cosumar                        4    4   0   0   115   77  +38    12
2 Allamunnic States              5    3   0   2    87   82   +5     9
3 The Kiaser Colonies            4    2   0   2    97   64  +33     6
4 Buddharia                      5    2   0   3   117  116   +1     6
5 Vangaziland                    4    2   0   2    91   81  +10     6
6 Qasden                         4    2   0   2   104  112   −8     6
7 New Jarwel                     4    0   0   4    40  119  −79     0

Group D

Free Republics 14–7 Newlands
Amuaplye 23–37 Kaboomlandia
United States of Devonta 37–9 Equestrian States

Group D                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Free Republics                 5    4   1   0    94   58  +36    13
2 Kaboomlandia                   4    3   0   1   126   58  +68     9
3 United States of Devonta       4    3   0   1    84   51  +33     9
4 Hampton Island                 4    2   0   2    40   57  −17     6
5 Amuaplye                       4    1   1   2    76   77   −1     4
6 Newlands                       4    1   0   3    44   68  −24     3
7 Equestrian States              5    0   0   5    53  148  −95     0

Group E

HUElavia 14–13 Gregoryisgodistan
Greater Vakolicci Haven 38–24 Aggrey-Finn Land
West Phoenicia 3–33 Newmanistan

Group E                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Newmanistan                    5    3   1   1   118   63  +55    10
2 HUElavia                       5    3   0   2    91  116  −25     9
3 Greater Vakolicci Haven        4    3   0   1   101   63  +38     9
4 West Phoenicia                 4    2   0   2   104   72  +32     6
5 Gregoryisgodistan              4    1   1   2    78   67  +11     4
6 New Danican                    4    1   0   3    68  139  −71     3
7 Aggrey-Finn Land               4    1   0   3    86  126  −40     3

Group F

Alpine Union 37–22 Taeshan
Chromatika 0–27 North Dajao
Velstrania 20–27 Rhineland Sued

Group F                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Alpine Union                   5    4   0   1    85   59  +26    12
2 Taeshan                        4    3   0   1    94   73  +21     9
3 Chromatika                     4    3   0   1    50   42   +8     9
4 North Dajao                    4    2   0   2    70   75   −5     6
5 Space                          4    1   0   3    54   69  −15     3
6 Velstrania                     4    1   0   3    50   67  −17     3
7 Rhineland Sued                 5    1   0   4    63   81  −18     3

[Bojikstan]

Fraternidad, Volume 1: Raquel

PLAYLIST

01/Series Theme: Papercut, Linkin Park
02: The Mole, Hans Zimmer
03: Supermarine, Hans Zimmer
04: Paint it Black, Ramin Djawadi Instrumental
05: The Tide, Hans Zimmer

Part Five.

The Drustvo and their two freed prisoners emerge to the top deck of the Black Gold, where they’re met by a few more Blasista soldiers and a scene over the water that isn’t good for their odds. “Damn it to hell,” says Bojovic, and he steps forward to take some shots at the Blasista soldiers near the front of the ship, but his gun just clicks after one shot. He’s out of bullets, and he didn’t do a good enough job counting how many rounds he had left earlier. “Fuck’s sake-”

The Blasistas have already fired back, and even though Racquel manages to shoot one through the head with a single bullet, Bojovic gets caught by a bullet to the chest. Petro has to step out of the way to not get hit by the falling man, and the wound is already a bloody one. They can’t focus on it for now, though. There’s one more enemy soldier, and there’s a few more that are nearing the stairway that the Drustvo just went up. “I have two HE grenades in my bag, if you want to toss one of those down there,” Costa says, looking to Raquel after gunning down the last soldier on the deck.

“Yeah. That works,” Raquel replies, but she can barely take her eyes off of the sight in the distance, a military jet that’s approaching faster than they would like. She forces herself to turn away and grab an HE grenade from Costa, lobbing it down the stairwell just in time to cause an explosion that takes out the entire patrol of three or four men. “Amateurs,” she mutters, remarking on how they were all bunched together, allowing her to do more damage.

She turns her sights back to the plane, taking a couple of deep breaths to calm herself down and then pointing it out to the others. “Look at the green on the tips of the wings and the nose. And look at the model. That thing is definitely a Gallian plane. It has the same look of all their engineering… Clean, modern, but deadly. It’s coming right towards us, and it’s too low for it to be a mistake.”

“They can’t strafe us and risk hurting the prisoners that the Blasistas are trying to ransom,” says Costa, kneeling down and looking at Bojovic’s injury. “Also, it looks like we lost Bojovic. Bullet hit an artery, and there wouldn’t have been anything that we could do, even if we reacted quicker.”

Raquel keeps her eyes on the plane, scrunching up her tattooed face and clenching her jaw. “Fucking hell. I’m a gangster, not a soldier. I don’t know how to deal with shit like this… Okay, first off, we already have one loss, but has anyone seen Leon since he ran off by himself? He didn’t have a radio on him, so there’s no way to contact him…”

“I hate to say it, but he’s probably dead. I think the patrol we wiped out was the last of the Blasista forces, but there were way more of them when he ran away…”

Petro and Ana just stand with their arms folded while the two gangsters figure out what to do, and eventually, Raquel walks to the side of the deck and looks towards the smaller raft, where the last member of their group, Vicky, is waiting. “Get the hell out of here, Vicky. There’s a Gallian jet following us, and you don’t stand a chance against it! We’re safer in here,” she shouts, pointing to the sky and the jet that’s now even closer. “Get away from here and let us deal with the jet. If it attacks, this ship is at least big enough to not sink immediately.”

“You sure about that? They won’t sink a small raft while the prisoners they want are still on board-”

“I’m not so sure. I didn’t think the Gallians were involved with this, either, and they’re anything but rational. They’re not going to do the thing you expect them to do-”

“Raquel, get down!” Costa shouts, yanking Raquel to the ground by the shoulders as the jet comes in faster than anyone expected, open firing on the small raft. The explosions are enough to shake the ship and send water splashing onto the top deck, and the one thing Raquel sees after looking up is fire. Fire shooting out of the water and high into the sky, with bits of burning plastic raining down and metal pieces from the engine shooting out like sharp missiles. The flames keep burning even when there’s nothing there but a wreck of the ship, spreading across the water for a few moments before they finally burn out.

Even then, there’s bits of the raft that are on fire. “VICKY!” screams Raquel, still leaning on the rail and watching to see if there’s any signs that her friend had survived, by jumping out of the raft. “Vicky…” she repeats, her voice sounding defeated this time. But now isn’t the time of the place to mourn. Costa pulls her away from the rail, turning to see if the plane is coming back around to strafe them. His body language is uneasy, like he’s been forced into the role of leader because Raquel looks like she’s about to have a breakdown and everyone else is dead.

“Come on. Let’s get to the bridge and get out of here. No need to hang around and wait for there to be more deaths,” he says, embracing her in a quick hug before leaving her with the two prisoners and stepping inside the bridge. The plane isn’t coming back, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t more Gallian forces coming for them. Costa and the others don’t even know why the Gallians are involved with this, or just how much they’re involved, but that all doesn’t matter. What matters is getting back to Golden Atoll with Petro and Ana, and the island isn’t far away.

But still, everyone has a bad feeling as they turn around and start on their way, on a ship that’s full of dead bodies and that’s surely on the enemy’s radar.

---

ADVERTISEMENT LOADING... FAILED!

[Union of Socialist Alpine Republics]

The Alpine Union beat Taeshan!

Stratton, Bongo Johnson - (NAP) If there was a game that the Alpine Union absolutely needed to win, it's this one against Taeshan and the Alpines won 37-22. The defense was pretty good once again, allowing two touchdowns and 3 field goals. Taeshan won the coin toss and started with the ball in the first quarter. They made a field goal on their first drive. The Bisons answered back with a 27 yards field goal and Taeshan added another field goal before the end of the first quarter and the score was 6-3 Taeshan after one quarter. With 12:38 remaining in the 2nd quarter, Jennifer Killebrew caught Clifford Jenkins' pass into the endzone for a touchdown. On Taeshan's next drive, Sam Clentimack was intercepted by Kareem Johnson who returned the ball to the 32 yards line in Taeshan territory. After gaining 8 yards in 3 plays, the Reprezentacja Alpejski made a 41 yards field goal. Taeshan followed with a field goal. The score was 13-9 Alpine Union at the halftime.

The Bisons started with the ball in the 3rd quarter and made a touchdown on their first drive when Coconut Riddick ran into the end zone. Taeshan followed with a passing touchdown on their next drive when Angel Herrera caught Sam Clentimack's pass into the end zone. The Alpine Union added another touchdown before the end of the 3rd quarter on a 43 yards screen pass by Clifford Jenkins to Barkevious Hawkins. The score was 27-16 at the end of the 3rd quarter. Early in the 4th quarter, Sam Clentimack was intercepted by Nick Knox who returned the ball into the end zone for a pick six. Taeshan followed with a 34 yards passing touchdown but missed the two points conversion. With 2:24 remaining, the Alpine Union added 3 more points on a 21 yards field goal and the final score was 37-22 for the Alpines.

It's the Bisons 4th win in 5 game and they're currently in 1st place with 12 points but all other teams have one game in hand. The Alpines next game is against Space which shouldn't be taken too lightly despite having won just one game. Lavonta Thomas is probable with a foot injury.

Alpine Union  3  10  14  10  -  37
Taeshan       6   3   7   6  -  22

1st quarter
11:04 - Field Goal by Martin Xavier (46 yards)
6:42 - Field Goal by Crockett Burkhead (27 yards)
2:18 - Field Goal by Martin Xavier (30 yards)

2nd quarter
12:38 - Touchdown by Jennifer Killebrew (22 yards pass from Clifford Jenkins). Extra point by Crockett Burkhead good.
10:17 - Field Goal by Crockett Burkhead (41 yards)
2:39 - Field Goal by Martin Xavier (52 yards)

3rd quarter
9:55 - Touchdown by Coconut Riddick (6 yards run). Extra point by Crockett Burkhead good.
6:39 - Touchdown by Angel Herrera (15 yards pass from Sam Clentimack). Extra point by Martin Xavier good.
4:22 - Touchdown by Barkevious Hawkins (43 yards pass from Clifford Jenkins). Extra point by Crockett Burkhead good.

4th quarter
11:23 - Touchdown by Nick Knox (29 yards interception return). Extra point by Crockett Burkhead good.
7:41 - Touchdown by Andrew Michaelson (34 yards pass from Sam Clentimack). Two points conversion missed.
2:24 - Field Goal by Crockett Burkhead (21 yards)

[Tenburg]

Defense Has "Monster Day" as Vols Beat Mostly Idiots 29-7

After dropping a heartbreaking overtime loss to Baruvia last week, the Volunteers came into the game against Mostly Idiots looking to prove they still belong on the world's radar, dousing the opponent 29-7.

The fiasco began early, with a sack by none other than Donald Black on the first play. The very next play, he and fellow Greystone Pirate Tyrone White chased the QB into his own endzone, with White making the hit for a safety, the first in Tenburg's World Bowl history.

Damien MacGregor lead the team on a short-field drive immediately after, scoring a touchdown on a corner fade to tight end Michael Floyd.

Macgregor would throw another TD in the second quarter, this one a sixty-five-yard bomb to speedster Essex Johnson.

Everyone on the defense seemingly got in on the act, as the Vols racked up six interceptions against Mostly Idiots, including one returned for a touchdown by linebacker Conor McEllan. Additionally, the team forced two fumbles, and scored two more sacks; all-in-all, a fantastic day for the Volunteers, after the fiasco involving the schedule last week which saw at least one drunken player take the field.

Let's make sure that doesn't happen again fellas, eh? This isn't baseball.

[Trans-Dniesters]

Приднестровская Суперлига Гридирон
PRIDNESTROVIAN GRIDIRON SUPER LEAGUE
SEASON I RECAP

Hello, hello again, comrades and fellow fans in gridiron! Before we get into the business of recapping the first ever season of the Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League, let's do a little recap of the game between Pridnestrovia and Barunia in the World Bowl XXXIII. Both teams have had a lot of experience playing against each other, seeing as most of the players on the Pridnestrovian national team and the entirety of the Barunian national team play in the Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League. This meant that everyone knew just how everyone else was going to play, and that was exactly how things panned out. The game was quite scoreless for four whole quarters, requiring overtime to finally separate these two teams. Stan Serban once again proved just how invaluable he was becoming to the national team when he found Guntram Rosenfeld with eight minutes gone in overtime for a 70-yard touchdown. The field goal from Wislaw Sokoloff was just icing on the cake for the Pridnestrovian people. Now, having said that, I think it's time that we went back to the business of recapping the Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League. What do you say to that, eh, comrades?

MATCHDAY SEVEN

CSKA Tiraspol                6  3  6  3  18
Yeralenko Torpedoes          7  3  3  7  20

Dinamo Bender                6  0  6  0  12
Bratsk Dolphins             10  3  3 14  30

Macaresti Gladiators         0  3  3  3   9
Barunia-Karl Marx Reds       0  3  3  0   6

Novonikolaysk Sharks         3  6  7  7  23
Admiral Novorossiysk        14  6 14  7  41

Rheinburg Spartans           0 10 10 10  30
Sheriff Tiraspol             3 13  3  7  26

Oh, dear me, dear me, things really are looking grim for the Barunia-Karl Marx Reds at the moment! When the people flocked to the Stadionul Dinamo to watch the match between the Macaresti Gladiators and the Reds, they were expecting a great and boisterous affair with lots of tackles and touchdowns. Well, the people of Macaresti did get a lot of tackles but not so much in the way of touchdowns. Once again, the defensive prowess of the teams reduced this game into another "penalty shootout", with only field goals apparently the way to get themselves on the scoreboard. Bill Holman did his job for the Reds but the Gladiators' kicker Wislaw Sokoloff scored more field goals simply because the Gladiators were able to get to better positions. In soccer terms, one could say that Macaresti won 3 goals to 2 against the Reds, or that Barunia lost 2 goals to 3 to the Gladiators. The downward slide continues for Barunia. And just a few weeks ago a lot of us were thinking that Barunia could actually win the Republican Shield! Yes, they are foreigners but no one wants to see any team experience a decline like this down the table (well, maybe CSKA fans on Dinamo Bender or Sheriff or vice versa).

And speaking of CSKA, they succumbed to their second defeat of the season at home against the Yeralenko Torpedoes. What happened to the New Army Stadium being a fortress for the Army Club? Apparently, this fortress rule doesn't apply to gridiron! Who will the CSKA fans blame this time? Why, none other than Kaspar Martinov, who seemed to have suffered performance anxiety at such an inopportune time for the Army Club. Andrey Nikitich Medvedev did his job, finding his teammates in open routes and throwing two touchdowns for CSKA but for the points after touchdown, Martinov couldn't find his stride. And it was at the points after touchdown where we found the difference between CSKA and Yeralenko as Abram Kornilenko (no relation to Anastasiy Olegovich Kornilenko, commissioner of the Gridiron Super League) converted both attempts while Kaspar Martinov failed to convert the two attempts presented to him.

In the other games, the Bratsk Dolphins tallied only their second victory of the season as they demolished Dinamo Bender from the outset. Dinamo's kicker also appeared to have suffered from performance anxiety as he failed to convert the two points after touchdown chances given to him. At the other end of the field, Kelly Profit shone once again, throwing 89 percent for 247 yards and two touchdowns. Arguably the moment of this game was when Cezary Gomulka picked off the pass from Bender's Rodion Tarasenko, intended for Filipp Akimov, for a Bratsk touchdown in the fourth quarter to secure the victory for the Dolphins. The Rheinburg Spartans came from behind to win against Sheriff Tiraspol, and yet again, the Novonikolaysk Sharks are yet to record a first ever win in the season. Stan Serban had no regard for human life as he threw 86 percent for 401 yards (the first ever quarterback in the PGSL to tally more than 400 yards in a game) and six touchdowns. SIX touchdowns! If that isn't a sign that Stan Serban is the new thing then I don't know what is.

MATCHDAY EIGHT

Yeralenko Torpedoes          0  7  0  0   7
Sheriff Tiraspol             0 14  3  7  24

Admiral Novorossiysk         0  0 14 14  28
Rheinburg Spartans           7  3  7 14  31

Barunia-Karl Marx Reds       6 17 10  3  36
Novonikolaysk Sharks         3  7  0  0  10

Bratsk Dolphins              3 10  0  6  19
Macaresti Gladiators        10  3  6  3  22

CSKA Tiraspol               10  0  3 14  27
Dinamo Bender                3  3  0  0   6

Well, the most anticipated matchup of the season turned into a bit of a damp squib, didn't it? Everyone was waiting for, eagerly anticipating the Derby of All Derbies between CSKA and Dinamo Bender, hoping that it would just like all of the other Derbies of All Derbies in past football and basketball history, which have been historically close affairs with just the odd blowout here or there. But not today. Dinamo Bender scored only two field goals and then they gave up the ghost and acted like they weren't going to bother playing this game anymore. CSKA, sensing blood in the water, went in for the kill. Andrey Nikitich Medvedev shone for the Army Club once again, throwing 87 percent for 382 yards and two touchdowns, alongside his brother Demyan Nikitich Medvedev and Wladyslaw Skorupka, who now looks to become the third member of CSKA's Golden Gridiron Boys, as some of the Red Army Ultras are already beginning to call them. Andrey Nikitich landed the opening touchdown of the game and Demyan Nikitich and Skorupka did their jobs in the fourth quarter to show to Dinamo fans that CSKA is still king of Tiraspol and Pridnestrovia.

Now let us go to Barunia for the match between the Reds and the Novonikolaysk Sharks. With Barunia on a three-game losing streak, Novonikolaysk were definitely fancying their chances of finally tallying their first victory of the season against the foreigners struggling for form at the moment. Alas, it was not to be for the Sharks as the Reds returned to winning ways with a dominant 36-10 win in front of their home fans. Keno D'Cunha was just on hot form in this game, throwing 82 percent for 362 yards for four touchdowns. Barunia really brought on the pain for Novonikolaysk in the second half, with Sam Green and Brian Roberts landing both touchdowns and Billy Hook applying the cherry on top of the icing with a sumptuous field from 38 yards with curve and swerve that would have made soccer free kick specialists like Abanhfleft's Bella Maynard envious. Cortez Amoroso scored a touchdown for the Sharks also in the second quarter but beyond that point, it appeared as if he was the only one in his team interested in pulling his own weight. The rest of the Sharks looked like they couldn't be bothered with trying to pull an upset, which may be a reason why Novonikolaysk still haven't won a single game this season.

In the other games, the Bratsk Dolphins lost in front of their home fans once again, this time against the Macaresti Gladiators. Bratsk actually had a chance to win the game with the scores tied at 19-all with 3:06 left to play in the fourth quarter, but after Kelly Profit landed the Dolphins' second touchdown of the game after a sneak play, Bratsk decided to go for the two-point conversion, the attempt of which failed spectacularly and resulted in an interception for Macaresti, and Kerem Ali Kamiloglu buried the field goal that resulted from the Gladiators moving the chains rapidly in the last two minutes. Sheriff Tiraspol halted the Yeralenko Torpedoes' progress upwards the table and sent them right back to seventh place with a commanding 24-7 win and the Rheinburg Spartans barely squeezed past Stan Serban and Admiral Novorossiysk and their 28-point Zerg rush in the second half. Only the second quarter field goal from Terentiy Berensky proved to be the difference between the Spartans and the Seamen.

PGSL Table After Matchday Eight

                              Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 CSKA Tiraspol                8    6   2   228  135  +93
 2 Sheriff Tiraspol             8    6   2   187  119  +68
 3 Rheinburg Spartans           8    6   2   193  170  +23
 4 Barunia-Karl Marx Reds       8    5   3   160  136  +24
 5 Admiral Novorossiysk         8    4   4   207  174  +33
 6 Macaresti Gladiators         8    4   4   127  114  +13
 7 Yeralenko Torpedoes          8    4   4   149  156   −7
 8 Dinamo Bender                8    3   5   128  164  −36
 9 Bratsk Dolphins              8    2   6   155  198  −43
10 Novonikolaysk Sharks         8    0   8   108  276 −168

So, as things stand, CSKA Tiraspol lead the rest of the league, but only on points difference. Sheriff Tiraspol disputes this fact and claim that they should be top of the table on head-to-head results because they beat CSKA (on their own turf, Sheriff fans are quick to add), but the current rules of the PGSL make it very, very clear that points difference take precedence over head-to-head results when it comes to league position. Don't ask me why that is, the higher-ups decided that this is the way things are going to be and unless they change the rules next season, that's the way things will stay. Rheinburg and Barunia are keeping pace at third and fourth place, respectively. And need I mention that the Novonikolaysk Sharks are the only team in the league still to win against their opposition? As we near the midway point of the Gridiron Super League, matchday nine looks to be the decisive moment for many of our teams. Will CSKA secure their hold at the top of the table or will Sheriff usurp top spot from them once again? Will the Barunia-Karl Marx Reds surprise everyone and become champion of Pridnestrovia? Will Novonikolaysk ever win a game this season? Well, there's only one way to find out, and that is to tune in next time for another edition of the Season I recap of the Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League. The next edition will be a special edition dedicated solely to all matches of matchday nine. Until then, comrades, До свидания.

[Lisander]

MAYBE A LITTLE LATE, BUT THEY FINALLY JOINED THE PACK!
With two victories in the World Bowl, Lisander is still dreaming with the Knockouts.
Melanie Calavera, to TV5 Sports


Howard Underwood replaced Martin Hoffmann and is making a great World Bowl

With the entering of Howard Underwood, the long pass of Lisander is much better. Martin Hoffmann is a very good QB, but since he's already training with the NAL side Angels, his long pass isn't being used. Howard finished college last year (University of Soria 16') and was only a reserve in WB32. But his impressive pass skills secured a place in the starter offense team of Lisander. In the last game, against Abanhfleft, it worked as a clock. Good for the rotation of Wide Receivers. Leandro Zaid and Mark Lyons finished the game with 2 touchdowns each.

The final result was evidently close, after all the game was againt a TOP3 WB-ranked nation. but Lisander managed to keep the team calm even when Abanhfleft was close in the scoreboard. In the end, the 41-34 was an excellent result!

[Bongo Johnson]

**MD6 Cutoff**

[Bongo Johnson]

Matchday 6 Results

Group A

Bongo Johnson 16–44 Firebolt
The Orion Islands 14–24 Bojikstan
Royal Kingdom of Quebec 17–27 Drawkland

Group A                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Drawkland                      6    5   0   1   171  109  +62    15
2 Royal Kingdom of Quebec        5    4   0   1   137   83  +54    12
3 Firebolt                       5    3   0   2   109   76  +33     9
4 Bongo Johnson                  5    2   0   3    99  144  −45     6
5 The Orion Islands              5    2   0   3    82  130  −48     6
6 Sibandias                      5    1   0   4    80  117  −37     3
7 Bojikstan                      5    1   0   4    83  102  −19     3

Group B

Pridnestrovia 51–3 Mostly Idiots
Lisander 29–21 Barunia
The Tiber and Wisdom 20–23 Abanhfleft

Group B                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Pridnestrovia                  5    5   0   0   132   52  +80    15
2 Abanhfleft                     6    4   0   2   187  163  +24    12
3 Tenburg                        5    3   0   2   106   81  +25     9
4 Lisander                       5    3   0   2   113  113    0     9
5 Barunia                        5    2   0   3   109  105   +4     6
6 Mostly Idiots                  5    1   0   4    80  168  −88     3
7 The Tiber and Wisdom           5    0   0   5    62  107  −45     0

Group C

Qasden 30–23 The Kiaser Colonies
Vangaziland 24–53 Cosumar
New Jarwel 6–35 Allamunnic States

Group C                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Cosumar                        5    5   0   0   168  101  +67    15
2 Allamunnic States              6    4   0   2   122   88  +34    12
3 Qasden                         5    3   0   2   134  135   −1     9
4 The Kiaser Colonies            5    2   0   3   120   94  +26     6
5 Buddharia                      5    2   0   3   117  116   +1     6
6 Vangaziland                    5    2   0   3   115  134  −19     6
7 New Jarwel                     5    0   0   5    46  154 −108     0

Group D

Kaboomlandia 36–17 United States of Devonta
Newlands 29–13 Amuaplye
Hampton Island 7–0 (F/OT) Free Republics

Group D                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Free Republics                 6    4   1   1    94   65  +29    13
2 Kaboomlandia                   5    4   0   1   162   75  +87    12
3 United States of Devonta       5    3   0   2   101   87  +14     9
4 Hampton Island                 5    3   0   2    47   57  −10     9
5 Newlands                       5    2   0   3    73   81   −8     6
6 Amuaplye                       5    1   1   3    89  106  −17     4
7 Equestrian States              5    0   0   5    53  148  −95     0

Group E

Aggrey-Finn Land 17–45 West Phoenicia
Gregoryisgodistan 23–9 Greater Vakolicci Haven
New Danican 13–0 HUElavia

Group E                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Newmanistan                    5    3   1   1   118   63  +55    10
2 West Phoenicia                 5    3   0   2   149   89  +60     9
3 Greater Vakolicci Haven        5    3   0   2   110   86  +24     9
4 HUElavia                       6    3   0   3    91  129  −38     9
5 Gregoryisgodistan              5    2   1   2   101   76  +25     7
6 New Danican                    5    2   0   3    81  139  −58     6
7 Aggrey-Finn Land               5    1   0   4   103  171  −68     3

Group F

North Dajao 54–10 Velstrania
Taeshan 33–3 Chromatika
Space 9–53 Alpine Union

Group F                      Pld    W   D   L    PF   PA   PD   Pts 
1 Alpine Union                   6    5   0   1   138   68  +70    15
2 Taeshan                        5    4   0   1   127   76  +51    12
3 North Dajao                    5    3   0   2   124   85  +39     9
4 Chromatika                     5    3   0   2    53   75  −22     9
5 Rhineland Sued                 5    1   0   4    63   81  −18     3
6 Space                          5    1   0   4    63  122  −59     3
7 Velstrania                     5    1   0   4    60  121  −61     3

[Trans-Dniesters]

Приднестровская Суперлига Гридирон
PRIDNESTROVIAN GRIDIRON SUPER LEAGUE
SEASON I RECAP

Oh, hello again, comrades and fellow fans in gridiron! Today, as I promised, we are going to recap matchday nine of the Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League game by game! I'm in quite the generous mood right now, seeing as Pridnestrovia are top of Group B in the World Bowl XXXIII and we just trounced Mostly Idiots (what a queer name for a nation, by the way), but I already promised you comrades that we would be recapping the entirety of matchday nine as a special edition of the PGSL Recap special for the World Bowl. So, are you ready?

MATCHDAY NINE

Dinamo Bender               10 17  7  0  34
Yeralenko Torpedoes         10  3  7  0  20

Qtr    Time   Team   DIN   YER
 1     9:41    DIN     7     0   B. S. Tarasov 6-yard touchdown reception from R. A. Tarasenko, Ye. Z. Goncharovsky kick good
 1     6:08    YER     7     3   30-yard field goal by A. K. Kornilenko
 1     4:56    DIN    10     3   38-yard field goal by Ye. Z. Goncharovsky
 1     2:06    YER    10    10   M. E. Stone 19-yard touchdown reception from J. T. Kedzierski, A. K. Kornilenko kick good
 2    10:16    DIN    17    10   F. Yu. Akimov 2-yard touchdown run, Ye. Z. Goncharovsky kick good
 2     8:21    YER    17    13   42-yard field goal by A. K. Kornilenko
 2     5:56    DIN    20    13   26-yard field goal by Ye. Z. Goncharovsky
 2     1:18    DIN    27    13   F. Yu. Akimov 7-yard touchdown run, Ye. Z. Goncharovsky kick good
 3     7:08    YER    27    20   M. E. Stone 23-yard touchdown reception from J. T. Kedzierski, A. K. Kornilenko kick good
 3     1:48    DIN    34    20   R. A. Tarasenko 7-yard touchdown run, Ye. Z. Goncharovsky kick good

Macaresti Gladiators         3  0  0  7  10
CSKA Tiraspol               10  0  3  7  20

Qtr    Time   Team   MAC   CSK
 1     9:47    CSK     0     3   47-yard field goal by K. G. Martinov
 1     3:45    CSK     0    10   D. N. Medvedev 4-yard touchdown reception from A. N. Medvedev, K. G. Martinov kick good
 1     0:40    MAC     3    10   36-yard field goal by K. A. Kamiloglu
 3     5:53    CSK     3    13   49-yard field goal by K. G. Martinov
 4     8:16    CSK     3    20   W. A. Skorupka 16-yard touchdown reception from A. N. Medvedev, K. G. Martinov kick good
 4     3:15    MAC    10    20   A. R. Yermolenko 7-yard touchdown rush, K. A. Kamiloglu kick good

Novonikolaysk Sharks         7  0  7  3  17
Bratsk Dolphins              7 14  6  0  27

Qtr    Time   Team   NOV   BRA
 1     7:36    NOV     7     0   H. C. Amoroso 3-yard touchdown rush, G. R. Keller kick good
 1     2:03    BRA     7     7   Ye. K. Orlov 17-yard touchdown reception from K. E. R. Profit, R. S. Tobin kick good
 2     4:50    BRA     7    14   Ye. K. Orlov 6-yard touchdown rush, R. S. Tobin kick good
 2     0:09    BRA     7    21   K. E. R. Profit 3-yard touchdown rush, R. S. Tobin kick good
 3     9:08    BRA     7    27   P. I. Zhivnovitsky 7-yard touchdown reception from K. E. R. Profit, R. S. Tobin kick no good (hit right upright)
 3     2:37    NOV    14    27   H. T. Yanev 7-yard touchdown reception from H. C. Amoroso, G. R. Keller kick good
 4     5:27    NOV    17    27   38-yard field goal by G. R. Keller

Rheinburg Spartans           6 10  3  0  19
Barunia-Karl Marx Reds       0  3  6  3  12

Qtr    Time   Team   RBG   BAR
 1     6:37    RBG     6     0   L. H. Hitzfeld 7-yard touchdown reception from G. W. Kimmich, K. L. Oldenburg kick no good (hit left upright)
 2    11:11    BAR     6     3   47-yard field goal by B. Holman
 2     8:04    RBG     9     3   35-yard field goal by K. L. Oldenburg
 2     3:15    RBG    16     3   A. A. Moronov 14-yard touchdown rush, K. L. Oldenburg kick good
 3     9:58    BAR    16     9   F. Matthews 5-yard touchdown reception from K. D'Cunha, B. Hook kick no good (hit left upright)
 3     5:17    RBG    19     9   36-yard field goal by K. L. Oldenburg
 4     4:28    BAR    19    12   48-yard field goal by B. Holman

Sheriff Tiraspol             0  3  7  3  13
Admiral Novorossiysk        14  0  3  0  17

Qtr    Time   Team   SRF   ADM
 1     11:06   ADM     0     7   A. M. Abdulganiyev 22-yard touchdown rush, M. I. Iliev kick good
 1      4:36   ADM     0    14   A. M. Abdulganiyev 6-yard touchdown reception from S. O. Serban, M. I. Iliev kick good
 2      9:15   SRF     3    14   46-yard field goal by Ye. T. Abramov
 3      7:45   ADM     3    17   39-yard field goal by M. I. Iliev
 3      2:59   SRF    10    17   N. N. Zelenko 14-yard touchdown reception from I. I. Tonev, Ye. T. Abramov kick good
 4      4:50   SRF    13    17   40-yard field goal by Ye. T. Abramov

PGSL Table After Matchday Nine

                              Pld    W   L    PF   PA   PD
 1 CSKA Tiraspol                9    7   2   248  145 +103
 2 Rheinburg Spartans           9    7   2   212  182  +30
 3 Sheriff Tiraspol             9    6   3   200  136  +64
 4 Admiral Novorossiysk         9    5   4   224  187  +37
 5 Barunia-Karl Marx Reds       9    5   4   172  155  +17
 6 Macaresti Gladiators         9    4   5   137  134   +3
 7 Yeralenko Torpedoes          9    4   5   169  190  −21
 8 Dinamo Bender                9    4   5   162  184  −22
 9 Bratsk Dolphins              9    3   6   182  215  −33
10 Novonikolaysk Sharks         9    0   9   125  303 −178

Well, unfortunately for all of us, that's all the time that we have for today, highlights and nothing much else, and we won't be seeing each other again until after the Pridnestrovian bye day. The good news is that after the Pridnestrovian bye day in the World Bowl, we will be back to regular programming where we will all be able to enjoy the inaugural season of the Pridnestrovian Gridiron Super League once again. We will be leaving the PGSL with CSKA Tiraspol on top, the Rheinburg Spartans in second, Sheriff Tiraspol and Admiral Novorossiysk rounding out the top four, and the Novonikolaysk Sharks completely and utterly winless in the first half of the season. Will things change, or will they stay the same until the end of the regular season? We will all find out after the Pridnestrovian bye day. But until then, comrades, До свидания.