World Cup 78 - Roleplay Thread

[Coldfield]

When theory conspirations are true...

Facts brought to you by John Postman, from Coldfield One

In the match against Audioslavia, four of our players were sent off after complaining and harassing the referee: Kucera, Tjelvarsson, Balogh, and Kovacova are suspended from the next match and will not play against the United States of Devonta. Nevertheless, David Green was arrested this Monday when arriving with his team in the Crownsville Portal. Green was charged by the courts for participation in a criminal organization, the Black Pigeons. The goalkeeper - hero of the match against two times world champion team - showed surprise and did not resist arrest - as well as he does not assume the crimes he committed, that was photographed and registered by a agent of the secret service. "We were ready to put a reward on his head, but it was not necessary thanks to the action of our squad." Said Peter Williamson, Crownsville police chief. According to him, 100 police officers surrounded the Teleportation Center just to arrest Green if he tried an escape. "He was one of the first to get out of the vehicle and we handcuffed him in front of everyone. He was quiet and shocked - I'm sure it was a pretense in trying to be innocent."

David Green was an orphan who lived until the age of 16 at the Greenock Orphanage. He started playing football in his childhood and was recruited by a Greenock scout during his teens - where he supposedly got involved with the Black Pigeons. Raphael Salazar - national and international Coldfieldian chess champion - was president of the club at the time and was arrested years later due to the Goldmine Avenue Murder in April 2015, where his involvement with the faction led him to imprisonment and consequent suicide. Even with unsatisfactory performance Green became the club's main goalkeeper and lifted the second division trophy in the 2016-17 season after overtaking Orangefish Sports, who was safely leading the Championship 10 points behind second placed Southfield.

It is not yet known which task led Green to fulfill his dream of playing for his favorite team; It is suspected that the murder of Organization's "Baron" at Goldmine Avenue was what led to the social and material rise of a once poor and orphaned Greenockian boy who was bullied by having two left feet instead of just one. "It was not hard to recognize Green; he wore a mask throughout his involvement, however, he was recognized thanks to his height and the abnormality in his feet," Williamson commented. The goalkeeper was escorted to the central police station building where he awaits trial, which will probably take place in the next two weeks. Louis Palmer was also arrested along with David Green; The attacking coach who worked for Waterville before being hired by the king was photographed speaking to Green at Marsh Park together with another four men; Marsh Park was the scene of a shootout between Black Pigeons and an unidentified enemy, possibly a vigilante or the secret service agent - the security cameras were not operating that day due to a short circuit. Three of those unidentified men were killed and the survivor seriously injured.

"This is a serious loss to our team. Now we no longer have a reserve goalkeeper or an attacking coach, but the law has done its duty, and this is good for Coldfield, infinitely better than good results in a sporting competition." Your Majesty, Edmund Meyer, said in the Portal. He also commented that the recent increase in taxes to raise police, army and intelligence budgets were crucial to the success of the operation and that such arrests will become frequent; But our king did not reveal how he will oppose our next opponent's tactics in the qualifiers with the exception of the lineup:

Lineup: Pilkvist; Workman, Cockburn, Osborn; Lund, Ferguson, Simmons, Lewerenz, Chamberlain; Murray, Vestergaard.

[Brigantii]

Brigantii secure biggest win of campaign
The Stags blow past Karelo-Finland in 7-2 mauling

After the disastrous opening day defeat to the same opponents, The Stags were looking to reclaim some credibility and to take three valuable points. Lining up with the same starting XI that played in the previous fixture against Sarrbia, Brigantii set about making light work of their opposition.

Michael Irwin opened the scoring with what would be the first of his hat-trick. Proving to be too quick for the defenders, the centre forward raced into the box with the ball magnetised to his feet, dribbling past the centre backs before coolly slotting beyond the on-coming keeper. The Real Minanda forward then tapped in his second, being left completely unmarked at the back post.

The home side then made it 3-0 when Clem Batley scored his first international goal, leathering in from the edge of the away box. Before half time, Brigantii added a fourth through Tim Waldroup, who rose highest to meet a Zack Wilbraham corner and head it into the back of the net for his first goal in a Brigantii shirt.

Following the break, the home side didn't let up and continued to attack and were rewarded with a fifth goal, courtesy of Aaron Ramsbottom. The Marketnewton midfielder had so far failed to score during qualifying but made up for that with a neat volley from the edge of the box. At 5-0 down the visitors managed an unlikely consolation goal and then a second as Brigantii switched off.

5-2 and Irwin completed his hat-trick in the 78th minute. The man who would keep the match ball was then substituted for Trevor Winter, who added a 7th and final goal for Brigantii, who recorded their biggest win since World Cup 76 qualifying and the 6-1 win over Heznia.

---

The Ancient Creatures of Wyrmgore
And Where They Can Be Located

Episode 4

Travelling to the bustling metropolis of Cauchemar, Pays de Horreur, Ancient Creatures looks at the legend of Le Bossu de la Sainte Trinite – or the Hunchback of Holy Trinity. Unlike some of the other cryptids we have so far featured, Le Bossu is a human, supposedly feared by others and seen as a monster, rather than being non-human.

According to stories, Le Bossu, born Jean Trajin in the 10th arrondissment of Cauchemar in the early 1800's was born with a horrific disfigurement and was left on the church steps of Sainte Trinite de Cauchemar. Abandoned by his mother the young boy was raised by the priests working in the cathedral and taught to carve stone – something that he excelled at and would go on to carve gargoyles for the cathedral. Le Bossu would rarely venture into the town, owing to his disfiguration and remained for the majority of his life within the walls of the cathedral. As he was so rarely seen in public his existence was and continues to be disputed. Those that did claim to have seen him would recoil in disgust and children were said to have fled from the "monster".

One reported sighting of the man came from Brigantii diplomat Leonidas Chaney. Chaney revealed to family back home that he had visited the cathedral while working in Cauchemar and had seen “a man, unlike any other, stooped like an ape with a sloping brow and dumb look on his face.” When asked what the man was doing Chaney commented “He was chiselling at stone, carving a creature almost as hideous as himself.”

According to legend, Le Bossu's eyesight began to fail and carving intricate gargoyles became difficult. When this happened he became the custodian of the reliquary and would guard the important relics contained within. During the Pays de Horreur revolutionary war, the cathedral's treasury was ransacked and Le Bossu supposedly killed during the process, no body was ever recovered and it has been suggested the clergy buried the hunchback in a secret ceremony to prevent his body being taken by the revolutionaries.

However the church has refused to acknowledge the man's existence and recently, Sainte Trinite historian Florent Dufort refuted Le Bossu's existence and stated it was all a work of fiction. “Le Bossu is not real, he was created as a joke but became a legend. At no point has the church ever adopted orphans and set them to work.”

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

OOC - The Mammoth Compendium of World Cup Lies lives up to its name; you're free to believe it IC'ly, but please don't believe a word of these RPs OOC'ly. They're a compendium of lies.

THE MAMMOTH COMPENDIUM OF WORLD CUP LIES
World Cup 78 Qualification

Matchday 10 - Mad Rax!

Another matchday, another ho-hum humdrum victory for the Holy Empire, this time winning Emty-Fuff to Hozaz over the visitors from Acapais.

The match was at least livened up slightly by some fire and frenzy from the visitors; they may not be able to play football that well, but they at least know their post-apocalyptic wasteland cliches.

Eagle-eyed readers of the Compendium will remember this snippet from Matchday 1:

we'd like to focus on some curious facts about Acapais itself. The green and white home kits of a team universally known by the nickname 'the Acapoos' (apparently named after a rare species of parrot) are ironic indeed given that the nation is a post-apocalyptic ash-grey wasteland where every species of flora has been driven to the brink of extinction by radiation poisoning. The ruler of this blighted land - a mutated humanoid known only as 'Humongor' - attempts to distract his citizens from their long, slow deaths by cloning a world-class football team from the few remaining healthy cells in his capital's laboratory in the hope that some of the clones will be healthy enough to win the World Cup

The same report also noted that:

It's rumoured that both Acapais national captain Matthew Watson and national team manager Andrew Jennings are themselves clones of Humongor, thereby explaining their ripped physique and extraordinary leadership qualities

Well, we'd like to apologise to the good people of Acapais for this terrible error. Watson and Jennings are not clones of Humongor; where we managed to get that ridiculous idea, I couldn't begin to tell you - too much good whisky during a night in the Imperial Panopticon, maybe (we do wish those nice lads and lasses from SBIS would lock the whisky cabinet). In any case, in addition to our apologies we would like to publish a correction:

Matthew Watson and Andrew Jennings are not clones of Humongor, but rather the enemies of Humongor - the pseudonyms of two freedom fighters better-known as Rax Mockatansky and his plucky sidekick Duck. The legends of 'Mad' Rax's many attempts to help the oppressed people of Acapais escape from the legions of Humongor are legion. There's the one where things are beginning to fall apart in Acapais and Rax's family are all killed before he goes on a rampage of vengeance; the one where Rax turns up at a lonely outpost under siege; the really confused one involving big hair, pig faeces, and a tribe of lost children; and the one where they drive a very long way while being chased by lots of people before turning around and driving back to where they came from while still being chased by lots of people.

Mad Rax and Duck clearly can't play football. But that's not really their main purpose. Simply by travelling to the Holy Empire and taking on our national team in the Imperial Hippodrome - a thankless task if we've ever seen one - they've hoped to show to the people of Acapais that simply trying your best is sometimes enough.

Who knows, perhaps Mad Rax's latest effort will be enough to inspire the citizens of Acapais to throw off their chains and start a revolution against Humongor. Perhaps, in time, they can make their post-apocalyptic wasteland bloom again.

And losing to the Holy Empire in the Hippodrome will prove to have been a necessary piece of inspiration towards the long journey to verdant freedom.

[New Gazi]

Al-Khalifiya was a city state in the Middle East that had been under Soviet rule for decades. When the Union left in the 1990s, the economy started to fall. The government spun the downturn as the fault of certain foreign countries. Those countries included places like New Hayesalia, Birtonia, Vangaziland and New Gazi. It was those countries and their imperial ways that allegedly caused the Khalifiyan people to lose jobs and starve. Corruption began to swell to new heights.

It was not the fault of the Soviets. It was definitely not the fault of the Khalifiyans. At least, not from their point of view. This line of thinking lead to extremists. In 2015, they launched a terror attack and a coalition responded with full scale operations. With the two year anniversary rapidly approaching, coalition politicians and generals announced the coalition would be leaving the desert nation and transitioning from full scale operations, to support & logistics.

Support would include Unconventional Forces and cloak and dagger Intel Agencies as well as training and support for the new Khalifiyan Army. It still takes time for units to clear out, however. A group of Gazilian soldiers from a unit that drives an 8 wheeled armored vehicle, the Mbombe, were waiting to fly back to their homeland.

They sat in a terminal at Al-Khalifiya Airport, the city state's only. Just a few civilian flights travelled to and from here. Most of them were at night. Coalition troops usually left by military aircraft. Some might fly smaller transports like C-130 to nearby, more peaceful nations. Then they could switch to faster charter flights, as the Vannish Empire and the Khalifiyan Government hoped to limit civilian (airline vs military) crews of pilots and attendants under guard at AK Airport.

The group waiting at the moment was set to load up on a C-17 from Vangaziland's Air Force. That nation was helping smaller nations like New Gazi, because of their increased logistical support and bigger budget.

Not to mention, it was Vangaziland who brought the coalition into this mess. They might as well give their allies some rides home.

The inside of the terminal looked like any airport, except there was only one floor and no skybridges. This was the kind of land where you climbed stairs onto your plane. If you couldn't t climb, there was a mobile lift that could be seen ferrying between aircraft. Move onto the platform on the back of the truck and it would raise right to the door's level.

It saved a few bucks in airport maintenance. Speaking of money, a group of soldiers were talking about gambling and sports.

"Man, you better give me that money", said a taller solder with glasses. The group of Africans sat on rather-Spartan bucket seats, bolted to a metal bench. Rows and rows of these seats filled the many gates. There were modern electronic displays with messages from the Khalifiyan government. The smell of onions wafted around the terminal from a rustic falafel shop (followed by a long line).

"A bet is a BET", said the shortest soldier in the room.

"I know", said the taller African. "That's why you need to pay. I told you Jarlsdottir would come back after 2 games. Mnqobi, you're cheap."

"Yeah, but we said at full strength.", replied Private First Rate Mnqobi. "She didn't play a full amount of minutes."

"Dude, that was two games ago. She's back at full strength now. She-"

"Ah!" The thrifty private interrupted, saying, "See you admit it. She was back last game, but not in her first game back."

"She played shorter minutes, but she got a goal and an assist. For real, you have to pay up."

PFR Mnqobi chuckled and slapped his good friend on the shoulder. "You have to admit I was right though. Here, let me get change at the Government's Falafel Stand." He played on the Communist nature of the Khalifiyan shop to hide the fact that he stalled paying for awhile.

"Get that house sauce."

"I don't have money for that. You're paying for your own falafel's too, I'm just getting change and picking them up. Two?"

The tall soldier with glasses grinned and shook his head. "Yeah, two." He was shaking his head because of the PFR's stinginess.

"What were you guys betting on?" Another soldier sat down across from the two. He heard something about a bet from down the aisle.

"The World Cup."
"World Cup."

The other two had replied at the same time. They'd been assigned to the same fire team for about 18 months now, including the entire deployment. They mostly annoyed each other, but were cool. This third guy was an E-4, a medic.

"Yo! Did you see that Jamuike corner last game against Gummusservi?" The medic pulled out his cellphone and scrolled.

"Heard about it."

The medic held up his phone, playing the clip from a Gazilian network online.

"Jamiuke sets up for the corner", said a deep but rather stuffy African voice. "5'11, the new stryker out of Orincgo University."

There was a pause as the kicker aimed and prepared. The camera showed the Gazilians in their purple, black and red jerseys lining up. Some were set closer, maybe for a header or rebound. There was also a small group up and to the side where it looked like some might screen and cut. The players started to change or fight for positions.

The camera panned out from a shot of the Stryker. He put up his hand, shifted his weight, jogged up and launched a kick. Jamiuke followed through strongly as the ball set off towards the center of the pitch. But not for long. The keeper may have been distracted by some movement. There had been a few threatening cuts. Those in the box were moving outwards now though.

The ball started to curve back towards the goal. The timing was just good enough to catch the keeper out of place. One defender tried to run for the ball, but just missed it. The keeper dove but it curved all the way into the far end of the goal.

"Goal Olypico! Great Goodness Gracious!" The announcer used the call he brought out only for his most excited moments. "That was the luckiest goal in Gazilian football history! Jamiuke ties it back up at 3-3! 59th minute, ladies and gentlemen..."

His voice was much less formal, but way more high pitched.

Every purple jersey on that side of the field ran to the streaking attackman. Jarlsdottir got him first and hugged him, then Contee tackled them both to the pitch. Diya jumped on top and the others followed suit.

"You do not see that everyday! The striker, from the corner", said the announcer. "Let's see that on Vannish Motors Instant Replay..."

"That was a crazy shot", said the PFR.

"It was a close game though", said the medic. "We're team eighty-something. They're like a hundred and something in the rankings."

"We tied on matchday one, I think." said the taller soldier. His eyes narrowed and his expression changed as if a thought re-occurred. "Don't forget the falafels and that cash! And you pay for them. Your treat, man."

"Alright, alright", said the Gazilian as he got up and moved towards the booth's long line. The other soldiers joined in on a conversation about which celebrities they liked. The medic brought up Anita Jarlsdottir to which a few people chuckled.

It was the moments like these where solders could forget how far away they were from home. Just for a second.

[Flardania]

Opening Theme

---

Bonjour et Ohayōgozaimasu Kirishima. Welcome ladies and gentleman back once more to another World Cup 78 edition of the Kitsune Report, brought to you by the Nagatomo Sports Network (NSN), sponsored by Air Pacifica, and Pocari Surge. Here at the Kitsune Report, it's all about Kirishinan sports. With football currently taking center stage and with matchday seven of World Cup qualifiers having been completed,135 teams continue their battle for 30 spots with 8 matchdays to go. I'm your host, the fan you can count on the most, to bring you Kitsune news, Keitaaaaaaa Woo! Without any further delay let's get grooving to some world cup football once more!

So after first half of qualifers the Kitsunes were left sitting in a good position after 8 matches. following their 1-1 draw against Soltseed, the Kitsunes won every single game since then to put them up by four points. A Key match to circle is match day 11 when the Kitsunes visit Eura. Either the Kitsunes will lead Eura by a difficult to overcome 7 points with a win, remain up with their slightly comfortable upset insurance cushion of 4 points with a draw or lead by simply one fragile point with a loss to Eura. At the end of the day Kirishima will be fine with either result but a win or draw would both be very favorable for the Kitsunes. It would serve the Kitsunes well to repeat their first half run of form with 7 wins and one draw, even 8 wins this time around but that will be difficult. The Kitsunes will have to deal with opponents ready for their new playstyle and big matches against Eura, Kalumba and Taeshan will on be on the road this time around. While Eura did lose twice they still have some excellent form and are taking care of their homfield. Taeshan and Kalumba will also be bigger threats at home but not impossible nor improbable, just simply difficult.

In terms of those looking to qualify Kalumba which has the best chance to sneak into the top two, is down from the leader, Kirishima by 10 points and down from second by 6 points. For Kalumba to enter the top 2 need to win 2 more matches the Eura (so Eura needs to lose 2 at the same rate that Kalumba wins two) and for the Kitsunes to not stay in the top two they need to lose three and draw one to give time for Kalumba to catch up. While it is still early and on paper, there are enough matchdays. It seems very likely that Eura and Kirishima will have a spot waiting for them at World Cup 78. The question is who will win the group and Matchday 11 becomes even more important to keep an eye out for.

Kirishima 6–4 Soltsteed Review:

With the Kitsunes defeating New Danican 4-1 at home at the Dayangseong Stadium in Imgeum, the Kitsunes had a comfortable stretch of a mid-qualification break before having yet another home match. This time it was at Mori park located in the controversial and one of the leading if not the most promiscuous and nymphomaniac cities in the world and multiverse Hyuga. Hyuga being that way understandably as if lies in the center of an even more promiscuous and nymphomaniac island prefecture/region of Yamatai. It is also the home stadia of the Hyuga Valkyries FC and has produced national team players Rin Mizoguchi, Akiho Ubukata and Renée Guidice before she left for Nabaek. I wouldn't be surprised if some scandal came up in Soltseed's national media regarding a player or staff and a denizen of Yamatai.

Since Soltseed is a defensive minded team Seong Mi-Soo made some changes to the staring XI with Ai Takagawa in the goal for Miyoko Hojo and Miguel Tamayo in for Eizan Iwamoto. The Kitsunes entered the game with a seven-game winning streak with the only flaw being a draw against Soltseed and their tough defense. The Kitsunes were on top of the table and intended to keep it that way and see how their new approached worked against a team that led them to make the change. Soltseed, on the other hand, was coming off of a 3-1 win against Sulsuland while sitting 3rd in the group with four points out of second place. They were definitely looking to at least repeat their performance against the Kitsunes and inch further up the table.

This was a match that could make any legendary defensive manager weep for the score with the way it flowed. Kirishima seemingly had one objective against the opposition and it was a risky one at that. Throw so much at the opposition that they won't be able to counter attack effectively enough. Joseph Yabuta struck quickly in the 6' minute seemingly catching both teams off guard with a perfectly timed run early that led Izumi to deliver an accurate pass. It was not offsides and Yabuta beat the keeper with a GOAL! in one on one play to put the Kitsunes up one early. The opposition mounted an attack in the 11' minute but it was saved by Takagawa leading to a corner for Soltseed and afterward a Goal in the 12' minute to tie the game at 1-1 early. It must've been an interesting site to be late on a commute home somewhere in the world, turn on the T.V and see a 1-1 score with only 12 minutes played.

Guidice would have an attempt on goal in the 25' minute but it was off-target. Yabuta and Mizoguchi would both try in the 31' and 32' minutes but both attempts were saved by Emmet Ferdinand. The opposition would make an attempt on goal in the 41' minute but the shot was off-target. In the 44' minute, Izumi found Renée Guidice for a GOAL! at home, to the roar of the crowd as she scored her first goal as a home team member at Hyuga for the first time since she left. She was joined by former teammate and friend Rin Mizoguchi as they shared a moment with the fans. Both teams entered the half with Kirishima leading 2-1 with the shot attempts reading 5-3 in favor of Kirishima.

In the second half the crowd was still buzzing from the momentum changing late goal in the 44' minute and Joesph Yabuta was happy to raise the crowd's energy to new heights with a GOAL! in the 48' minute off of a cross from Josuke Ichikawa putting the Kitsunes up 3-1. The game would not stay that way for long as the opposition would score in the 52' minute to make the game 3-2. As if that wasn't enough offense Ako Izumi scored off of a free kick in the 55' minute for a GOAL! to make the game 4-2. Putting the Kitsunes back up with a two-goal lead. That lead would become a three-goal lead in the 58' minute as Koharu Miyamoto scored a GOAL! off of a corner to put the Kitsunes up three.

The opposition would have a chance on goal in the 64' minute but it was off-target but would try once more with a goal in the 68' minute to make the score read 5-3. The opposition would score another goal in the 77' minute to make the score 5-4 with an opptunity to steal a draw from the Kitsunes yet again but the 84' minute saw Sayo Matsuoka score the game-sealing GOAL!Final score Kirishima 6, Soltseed 4.

Seong Mi-Soo, had this to say following the match. "That was an intense match inj every sense of the word. We are glad our current tactics were enough to defeat Soltseed this time around as it fits from what my staff and I sought to achieve against defensive teams. Overwhelm them to the point that a shot attempt goes in for a goal and take advantage of there reduce goal scoring chances as opposed to other more offensive minded teams. If we have an attack play we need to go all out and commit to it. That is what we have been doing and it's been working and hopefully it works again versus Eura. "

Kirishima 6      -   4 Soltseed 
J.Yabuta (6' 48')        E.Gryndhout (12' 52' 68')
R.Guidice (44')          C.de Marcht (77')
A.Izumi (55')
K.Miyamoto (58')           
S.Matsuoka (84')

Eura v Kirishima Match Preview

Kirishima will travel to Eura for their next match. Their opponents are ranked 16th and while the Kitsunes have one the first match up 4-0, Eura is a quality side that will not only be home this time around but ready for the Kitsunes. If the Kitsunes can get another win over Eura then the Kitsunes will be up seven points ahead Eura and provide an excellent cushion towards potential winning the group. The Kitsunes will be happy with a win or draw and a loss won't kill them but the stakes are certainly high in this upcoming primetime bout. The Kitsunes may need some hidden plan if they want to sneak out of that game with another win. Until next time, Lets Go Kitsunes!

Post by: Keita Woo

[Apox]

Carried on from here

For the third time, the fuzzy golden light faded from around him. As his eyes adjusted to the natural light after the bright golden glow of whatever it was he'd been transported in, he took some time to get his bearings. As far as he could tell, he was in a relatively normal looking place this time around, and even normal compared to the slightly distorted higher dimensions place which he was in previously.

Could you even have higher dimensions? Weren't they always there just not interfering with the four dimensions humans interacted with? Or were they not there at all? He wasn't a scientist.

He was standing in some enormous hall, with an impossibly high looking ceiling and large marble pillars. The pillars seemed to be emitting some sort of golden and red hue, not just reflecting the light but actually emitting some. He walked over to one and put his hand against it. It was warm? Unsure if his theory had been proven either way, he was wrenched from his reverie by the large doors at one end of the room being opened - streaming bright light across the floor. A figure was hurrying towards him.

"OI! YOU!" the figure yelled, pointing at him. He started, before replying with,
"Me?"
"Of course I'm talking to you! Who else would I be talking to in this empty antechamber!" This was an antechamber? How big were the actual rooms in this place.
"He's going to be here in a second and I will NOT have staff wandering around for his arrival!"
"Staff? Who?" Confusion reigned in his mind. The other person had drawn closer by now, and he discover that this person was a tall, imposing woman, with bright blue hair and piercing grey eyes - eyes that most couldn't stare at for long without quailing. He however, wasn't just any man and despite the confusion he held her gaze.
"Weren't you at the briefing? Really, you'd think with his resources we might be again to get some better..." a loud screeching noise made her look over her shoulder. She sighed and turned back to him, "that'll be the first of his party. Why do the rhinoliphants always have to come first. Right, go through there and report to a sub-manager," she said, pointing to a small side door that he hadn't noticed before. He hurried over to it.
"So who's actually coming then?" he said, turning back to her as he pulled open the door to go through. She looked exasperated and rolled her eyes,
"The Prince Imperial, of course."

To be continued...

APX 2-0 SAM Palmisano L. 36', Townsend 63'
APX: Anaximander -- Richardson, Raynerson, Jekyll, Redmond -- Townsend, Palmisano J. (c), Llangolan (Pentameter 73'), Vladimirescu (Benzari 80') -- Palmisano L., Gandhi A. (Gandhi O. 70')
SAM: Not provided

Apox lined up for the second half of qualifying in a 4-4-2 against a wartorn and unknown Sameban side, with Wizzard Mormentor dropped after a number of poor performances in the first half of qualifying, Llorent Llangolan his current preferred replacement. Despite early Sameban pressure, the Apoxian team worked themselves into the game, Halyos Anaximander being tested early on, but importantly, no early goals were conceded. Alpha Gandhi was his usual threat up front, but the extreme focus on him by the Sameban defence allowed for Lucan Palmisano to operate in more space, and he was in plenty of space on the edge of the box when brother James picked him up with a good pass, allowing Lucan to slot the ball nicely in the top left corner. The second half was more of the same, although the threat of Lucan Palmisano was better accounted for. However, just before coming off, Llorent Llangolan worked a mazy and industrious run (something he's becoming known for at club level) to slip the ball slightly out wide to Imriel Townsend, who couldn't miss from that range, as she gets a goal to add to her five assists from this qualifying period as she becomes more and more important to the team.

[Buyan]

At first, Pawlo considered it to be a certain kind of cockiness of the young striker to simply assume the spot on the bus next to the captain. So far, they had left him his space and if the limited seating of the bus required so, it was Micaukis who took place besides him. Partially because the strong midfielder intimidated most of the guys with his appearance but the side-effect of a remarkable accent after fifteen years abroad was that he hardly spoke up. It was something Pawlo appreciated.

So when Emil Eklund left the two rows behind him open and placed himself next to Marciak with a certain aplomb, Pawlo was left somewhere in the middle between puzzled and irritated. Admittedly, the striker had earned himself a new position in the group dynamics with a second matchwinning goal in as many confrontations, this specific one a beauty that pierced the net and set the Nine and the night on fire. But still, Pawlo thought. Give your captain some room, dude.

“What’s it like, living abroad?”

Well, that one was novel. So far, no one had really tried to open up with small talk. The decade of separation, during which Marciak flourished with Crisisbless on the grandest stage of the multiverse whilst the others played in the proverbial soaked meadow in front of a bunch of farmers, had given him a sort of mythical status. Obviously those who secretly decorated their bedroom with his best moves feared to bother him but even the guys who had met on the pitch before kept their space.

“Is it… Tough out there?”

At last, Pawlo looked the Mullsphaller striker in the eye. He had the characteristic slow, lingering accent in his speech but nonetheless his words displayed a certain sharpness of mind. Deep down, he carried a soft spot for the focus and dedication of the guy, which contrasted heavily with the boisterous Kaukenas, insecure Gustloff or playful Polaniak.

“What do you mean?” Pawlo tried to hear him out.
“Let’s not beat around the bush,” Eklund cut him short. “If it’s about thumb powder,” as he made the characteristic signal for the green ones, “going abroad is always a good step. But is it worth it?”

It shook Pawlo that in all those years, this no-nonsense attacker was the first to actually ask him it. You would think that with such an amount of time to think about it, he would’ve gotten a proper answer.

“It’s certainly a unique experience,” he gave the politician’s answer, “a lot depends on where you’re going.”

Let’s set things straight, he had not for a second regretted picking Crisisbless over the long list of alternatives and felt nowhere better but in the dressing room of the Heelers. But that exactly placed the finger on the wound – only in the home arena, the Godswatch, he truly felt at his place. And there was more to life than stopping balls for a royal wage. Apparently.

“Why the question?” Pawlo tried to remove the attention from the puzzles in his brain.
“I’ve got,” the remarkably open Eklund showed, “at least nine business cards of guys that can bring me to a top UICA competition – or at least, that’s what they say. But this one looks like a mobster, this one calls me every half hour, this one has no credentials, this one…”

Eklund looked up and Pawlo saw the tired face from someone who had been pushed out of the cozy cocoon of being the village hero into the sharktank called professional football.

“In short, I trust none.”
“Representatives,” Pawlo replied thoughtfully, “are like wine.”
“They try to put your head upside down?”
“Well…” Pawlo halted, “that wasn’t what I intended, but, actually, yes. But think of it like this – if you throw a party, which wine would you serve to your guests?”
“How do you mean?”
“Well, first of all – never pick the cheapest wine. Never choose the one with the ugliest cover. Always question why the most expensive one asks his price.”

Emil Eklund looked for a second into the distance and when it seemed he had observed every last word to the fullest, he rose without saying a word. Just as he was making his way to one of the back rows, he looked back once more before giving Marciak his peace.

“And serve your guests as you’ld want to drink, I see. Thanks cap’”

Pawlo almost started to like this national team.

[Mriin]

"We're not giving up on this that easily." Janna stood between Don and the whiteboard he'd been ready to ravage via lecture, at the practice held two days after the Farves outplayed them for the 3 away points. "Accusing a strategy of being illegitimate because it didn't magically let us beat literally the highest ranked team in the world is daft."

"I don't want to hear any more of this," scowled the dragon. "My management has gotten us to this point where we have not only a chance, but a likelihood of qualifying! What makes you all think you know better? Why fix what isn't broken?!"

Gerard stepped up once more, getting real sick of this conversation. "Something is broken, and you're too proud of yourself to see! Take a moment and think about our games. Absolute devastation of lower ranked sides, nothing close. Four-two, three-oh, six-fucking-one for fuck's sake! I don't deny a good offense is a powerful thing, but you are too blindly obsessed with that idea. Joren and Solara are a world-class offense, that much has been proved so far, nevermind what Aldo brings to their dynamic. So why are we using two offensive midfielders alongside three strikers who can already score more than enough? Why do we have one of our three backs under orders to play like an aggressive wingback?! That falls apart against teams that actually fight for possession, and know how to create chances! You fucking admitted it yourself when you brought Qual on for the second half against Barunia! It was so blatantly obvious our formation does jack all when put up to any sort of challenge, and yet you still push for it because we've gotten lucky so far. Pull your snout out of your ass and let us play some proper football!"

A deathly glare was being traded between the gaffer and the leader of the defense. Mari shrunk away as she noticed a lick of flame peek through Don's scowl.

"Hold up, hold up--" Joren pushed through the grouped up team, closely followed by Solara and Aldo. "Is this what you guys have been yelling about these past few games? Whether we're using a fourth back or not?"

Both Don and Gerard did a small double take at the trio of confused forwards, Gerard responding first. "You... you didn't know that?"

Aldo planted a palm firmly on his forehead. "I swear nobody tells me anything anymore..."

"Seriously, though," said Joren, "this is ridiculous. Gerard is making extremely fair points--we can't make up for our defensive weaknesses with our offense when it really matters."

"Honestly--and this doesn't leave this group, alright?" Solara gave a very stern look around the group. "I'd love to play for a team that actually gives a shit about defense. I want to get off the Daemons as soon as I can, constantly having this enormous pressure to score at all times or you're going to fall behind no matter how much effort you've already put in... it's insanely draining. I get into these situations where I'll score twice in ten minutes and still feel like I'm not doing enough."

The fire died down, and a little softness crept into Don's expression. "Oh, you can't really think that, Solara? You've been performing incredibly so far, possibly one of the players of the tournament at this point."

She just shrugged. "It's hard to feel like that when I can confound a top-30 side's defense multiple times and only walk away with one point for it. That there's more I should have done."

Finally, a deep sigh escaped the dragon as his shoulders slumped, suddenly cutting a far less imposing presence. "I... I suppose you all have a point. I can't justify such an attack-centric strategy if it just makes our defenders feel useless, and our forwards powerless... that this is all happening while we're winning like this... I don't know what to make of it, but you're all on the team for a reason. I trust your ability to play the game, so we'll stick out these changes."

"Oh, thank the bazaar!" Don's head whipped around, cocking an eyebrow at Wanny's outburst. She tried to put on a hard face, but couldn't quite hide the blush. "I... I've just been a dumpster fire so far. I've been playing like absolute garbage. But... I couldn't just step down. My family would have my horns if they heard I willingly gave up on 'serving my country'... so I'm relieved to hear we're planning a different strategy that doesn't so heavily involve me, I don't know if I could take disappointing the crowd like I've been doing much longer."

Don closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his snout for a long moment, before making a scurry-along motion. "There's clearly a lot I still need to improve on as manager, but we've got a game against the third seeds coming up. Get out there and practice this new formation of yours, make sure it's ready to handle Boring Paradise better than it handles Farfadillis."

---

Maal Memoirs
Sports

Mriin One Point Back -- Half-Qualifiers Update

Lavor Prusc
Paradisia, Boring Paradise

Earlier today the Mriin National Football Team rounded out an unbelievably outstanding first half of the World Cup Qualifiers with an exciting game in a boring place. Coming off of a tight game against arguably the best team in the multiverse, which was closer than it really had any right to be, Mriin was three points behind Farfadillis and two ahead of Barunia for a tentative second place; but the final game of the half wouldn't come easy. An away match against one of the three higher-ranked teams in the group, periphery contenders Boring Paradise of Esportiva, would determine how "real" Mriin's cindarella first half would actually shake out as a proper run at Qualification. Now, the Paradisians were not faring particularly well this cycle--they were far enough behind Barunia that they were very nearly out of contention already, barring an absurdly successful second half--but it never does well to underestimate your opponents, especially those toting a higher rank than your own. For the peoples of a land self-described as boring, the Paridisians play quite exciting, aggressive football, and would be a real test for the new formation Don Mizzet has been gradually implementing.

The 3-4-3 that the NT had been using since their relatively successful Baptism of Fire run had produced solid results for a relatively unknown team in the qualifiers for World Cup 77, and had even given Mriin some time atop Group 6's standing this cycle, so there was understandably some backlash to the idea of shifting away from that. But I, for one, quite like the reasoning Mizzet provided--citing that it always seemed the correct decision to shift to a slightly more defensive 4-3-3 against top sides; it helped stifle the Barunian offense in the second half to secure a draw, some measure of revenge for them eliminating us from the last Cup of Harmony, and had the potential to hold the notorious Farf offense, until that Wínrôuge fellow proved why he's such a universally respected talent. I think it's pretty clear to anyone who watched the match against Farfadillis that Mizzet's snap decision to bring on another forward--forget 3-4-3, they straight up went to 3-3-4--in the second half was disastrous, as we lost all ability to control the pace of the game. If we want to properly contest with the top teams in the league, we'll need to shore up our weaknesses, and this is an excellent place to start.

It's worth noting that as we lined up against Boring Paradise, it wasn't quite a 4-3-3. It might more accurately be portrayed as a 4-1-2-1-2; Janna Kurung has always been a more conservative player, and seems to have fully embraced the role of defensive midfielder, granting a little extra speed to what would otherwise be a quite slow back line, considering we're reaching out to the thirty-five year old veteran Qual Yon as a starter. Additionally, Joren Kreuger, who's been a splendid pair up front with Solara Vol, fell back to play more like an offensive midfielder rather than the striker role he's traditionally seen in. That's a very fair move, as Solara is without a doubt the clear-cut best target on the team, and Kreuger's young Alchemists teammate Aldo Vocani brings a much nimbler touch up front. Not to mention Joren's penchant as a ridiculously prolific assist machine; his excellent vision of the field will be invaluable in that central coordinating position.

And that's not all theory, no--it was apparent in the Paradisian match. The team rotated around Krueger and Kurung's focal points precisely, and the Mriinian possessions were solid drive after solid drive. Solara opened scoring up, as she so often does, by following up a defense-splitting setup from Kreuger and firing a beam directly past both Fabien Wyatt, who misjudged her angle of attack, and Osama Homewood, who simply couldn't lay a finger on the pin-point shot; Mriin 1-0 at 13'. Krueger would continue putting in hard work setting up those opportunities, though several ended in Solara taking premature shots that were easily saved, and one occasional where Vocani comically overshot the goal to the amusement of the home crowd. Vocani would more than make up for that slip-up at 36', where he collected a stray ball from a very neat Polandre tackle, and then personally beat several Paradisian defenders on his way to the box and an insurance goal; certainly an interesting moment for the lad, who's known more for his powerful shots and raw speed than his swift feet.

Don't think that that the game was one sided, though! Not by any means--the Paradisians were very reminiscent of our own team, where a sub-par defense was being shored up by a blazing offense. Thanks to the extra effort being put in by the Mriinian backs they got off to a much slower start, but Hawsorn in goal was certainly feeling the pressure by the twenty-five minute mark, and just before the half rolled over Ryan Miller set up a wonderful cross to Raiyaan Malik Jr, who converted to bring it back to a one-goal game. Also--can I just mention how unbelievably young the Paradisian team is? Their midfielder and strikers have an average age of 22! They're starting Sameer Jaklim Jr at the fresh young age of 19! That might be a contributing factor to their underwhelming performance they've put up so far, that this is a sort of "rebuilding year" to get experience on those seen as the future of the side while forfeiting points in the present. I'm not sure how wise a strategy that is on the international level, especially in a group like ours that looked relatively weak on paper, but I wish the young Paradisians all the luck in their future endeavors, and hope they learned a great deal from these games.

The second half was a very back-and-forth affair, but fortunately for us, that freshness of the Paradisian team gave us the edge and put us on the front hoof for the exchange. A sloppy scene in front of the Paradisian goal that had started so well for them with an excellent Daniel Jones tackle stopping another signature Solara drive, but the ball pinballed around defender and attacker alike some six times before finding its way back to Solara, who promptly ended the rigamaroll with an exquisite leaping kick that plucked the ball from waist-height (for a satyr; a defender who wandered too close might have suffered a hoof-caused loss of wind) and directly into the inner siding of the net. With that, we were up 3-1, and it was difficult to resist a feeling of complacency--we hadn't lost a lead throughout the tourney to that point, nevermind when we'd reached three first. But the Paradisians certainly weren't done with us yet; they came off the mid line blazing, and the oh-so-young Jaklim managed a lengthy shot Zilia felt worthy of knocking over the bar. They weren't able to directly capitalize on the ensuing corner, but the scramble for possession after the ball got loosed in the midfield ended in their favor, and the follow-up drive brought the full brunt of the Paradisian team along in an effort to get in range where equalizing was an option, and that sort of all-out attack proved too much for even the bolstered Mriinian defense to handle. They very nearly threw a wrench in there, when Uhlon Loft literally flung himself (a safe distance) in front of Malik, preventing a clear shot, but the young striker reacted quickly and popped the ball sideways with his heel to a waiting Hishaam Ali Jr (many Jrs on this team--I wonder if this is a heritage team made of former Paradisian professionals? If only I'd thought to research that earlier!), who did not waste his first proper chance and slid it past an overloaded Hawsorn.

At a score of 3-2, the Mriin side took a more careful approach in their next possession; they had talked up their new defensive priorities so much, it called for the extra effort to ensure another desperate full-team rush wouldn't work out as well. Indeed, after some midfield footsie with the ball, Simon Ado managed a sneaky steal on a pass intended for Kreuger, and attempted to sweep forward with his team as it'd worked before. Unfortunately for him, Kalia Swurm had taken notice and took the ball out from under him just as the other Paradisians made a break to provide followup; some from the peanut gallery said it was a blatant yellow for recklessness as Ado staggered over her and only barely stayed on his feet, but the referees didn't show any reservations over the play while Janna sprinted to the free ball and punted it past the charging opposition. The Paradisians turned as quickly as they could manage, but they had committed too steeply and the ball was already well past them; Joren essentially walked it in, finally putting the game properly out of reach, up to two once again but only with ten minutes of play left. I know many lament turtle-like lead holding, but considering the circumstances, where every point so desperately matters for our ambitious squad? I'll take everyone holing up on our side of the pitch to secure the three away points any day. It'd be hard to complain at all, really--the first eighty minutes were as much action as I'm likely to handle without passing out! But as the second half of qualification rolls around, and the stakes raise even higher, I'll need to brace myself; the team needs all the support they can get, so I'll push off the nerves and keep cheering as long as I can, and I hope you all do too!

Mriin - 4
Vol 13', 54'
Vocani 36'
Kreuger 80'
Boring Paradise - 2
Malik 42'
Ali 65'

I'll try and catch up with both the Loynn game and tonight's game with the next RP.

[Turori]

Cocoa-bo, an establishment taking its name directly from the beloved national animal of Turori, started as a small dessert shop in Kionao. However, it was only after they added chocolate topped drinks to their menu that their popularity started to soar. As more and more patrons scooped up their chocolate flavored pick-me-ups, demand for the Cocoa-bo product skyrocketed and soon new franchised locations were popping up all throughout Turori. Shifting to more of a social 'hang-out' then just a casual place to drop in, get a dessert, and leave, the new locations started adding small foods such as Bagels for the morning, Soups and Sandwiches for Lunch or Dinner and Salads for the entire day. Cocoa-bo has expanded outside of Vilita & Turori. Their first regional location was opened in Andossa Se Mitrin Vega and the company continues to explore avenues to further increase its image, expanding the company footprint across Atlantian Oceania and beyond.

Cocoa-bo is now taking its latest marketing campaign, "Everything's Better With Cocoa-bo" on the road along with the Turori National Team, bringing to bus stops, digital screens and social outlets the image of the host countries flag and backstory 'altered' to show how it would be "Better with Cocoabo"...

Audioslavia

Before Cocoa-bo began following the Turori National Team around the multiverse looking for new places to set up shop and sell of their delectable delights, they first started putting feelers out closer to home in Atlantian Oceania.

While the first ever foreign Cocoa-bo location was in Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, it wasn't long before they made their way to Calania and Beyond!

There are some places, however, that Cocoa-bo have just never really done that well. Take, for instance, Audioslavia. The Audioslavic population don't much enjoy anything Turorian. That is, with the lone of exception of playing Turori in any International Footsport competition. Has Turori even ever beaten Audioslavia in the World Cup Finals? Probably not. How many times have the two teams met in the Quarter Finals only for it to be Bulls on Parade, marching on through.

But times, they are 'a changin'. Joining forces with neighbors Vilita, Turori were able to claim victory over Audiolsavia in AOCAF 41. Audioslavia themselves became World Cup Champions after a record number of final defeats - perhaps taking a bit of bitterness out of their population.

But what better way to take away bitterness then a sweet Cocoa-bo treat? Of course, even Audioslavia could be better... and less bitter... with a little bit of Cocoa-bo. Well... not little. After all, Cocoabo testicles are scientifically proven to be 33% larger than that of the Audioslavia bull.

So yes, even the testosterone-fueled flag of Audioslavia may be better with Cocoabo!.

The Holy Empire

Of course, beyond the local action of regional expansion, there was another type of expansion that was of interest to Cocoa-bo.

That special kind of always-present, free-thinking, utterly absurd action made possible in the dreamed realm!

Naturally, however, the same old presentation wouldn't make any mark in the Dreamed Realm. Keeping up with trends and communication preferences in the Dreamed Realm from the separation of Ordinary Reality can sometimes take a bit of effort. Luckily, snippets have made their way back to the Island Emirate, such as the fine limerick below;

A gentleman once told a story
Of curious things in Turori
Their great flightless bird
Is slightly absurd
But still leads the team on to glory

What an opportunity, for Cocoa-bo!

They quickly got their thinking caps on, and went to work. They didn't know how it would work or why they would want it to, but if they could get Cocoa-bo into the Dreamed Realm, what couldn't they do! But what would the campaign look like?

A Nation Everyone should know
They played the original show
Claim four World titles they would
Strive to be Better they should
Everything's better with Cocoabo!

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Lord Almighty Gregory's Speech to the People

"Good evening, ladies, gentlemen, and slaves. I speak to you today with great, glorious, awesome news. Our giant, 100 foot tall, electric fence on the border with the Land of the Devil, San Jose Guayabal, is complete! This 100 foot fence is also 50 feet thick, solid metal, and fully electrified. Anyone who so much as touches it will receive over 5,000 volts of electricity and likely die. But in the event they don't die, by some miracle, and make it over the wall, to invade our Most Glorious and Holy Nation, they will find a 500 yard wide Zone of Death, filled with deadly land mines, which will blow them to bits. The Guaya Menace will be stopped! The Guaya Menace will be destroyed! The Guaya Menace will be wiped off the map! The Guaya Menace will never attack us, will never invade us, and will die! Die! Die! Die Guaya Menace! Die!

"And, by the way, we have a Secret Plan to get around or though the Zone of Death, through the Wall of Death, and into San Jose Guayabal, should we choose to invade. But the Guaya Beans don't know it, nobody knows it except us, and we won't tell them, because then they'll stop us or use it to invade us. Furthermore, 5,000 nuclear warheads, fully armed and ready to launch at a moment's notice should I issue the command, have been transported to within 5 miles of the San Jose Guayabal border. And we will launch them if we have to, or even if we feel like it. Someday we will launch them without warninbg, and destroy the Guaya Menace once and for all. The Guaya Menace will really pay! They will really die! They will really be destroyed, and it will be a most glorious day in our nation's history. They will be destroyed! They will be destroyed! Say it with me - THEY WILL BE DESTROYED!"

All across Gregoryisgodistan, millions chant "THEY WILL BE DESTROYED!" at the top of their lungs for ten straight minutes before Lord Almighty Gregory holds up a loving hand to indicate to them to stop. Those who do not chant it are taken away to be executed, along with their families. But this is only about 125 people, including those on the toilet, a woman giving birth, the doctors assisting her, and and someone fleeing from a burning building. So they've been taken away, and Lord Almighty Gregory continues his speech.

"Yes, we shall destroy the Guaya Menace someday, once and for all. But for now, we have to be focused on stopping an invasion. That is why the wall has been completed, nobody shall get in from Guaya Devil Devil Land, they will be stopped, destroyed, and eliminated! We will destroy them! Yeah, baby! Yeah yeah yeah! San Jose Guayabal is the most wicked land in the Multiverse, we are the greatest land in the Multiverse. We shall destroy them!

"Furthermore, I am increasing the reward for killing a citizen of San Jose Guayabal to one quadrillion greggygodbucks, which is approximately three million NS Dollars. In the event that citizen is a government official or player of the national soccer team, the reward shall be 100 quadrillion greggygodbucks, or 300 million NS dollars. In the event that citizen is Queen Margaret I, aka the Devil Incarnate, that reward will be 10 quintillion greggygodbucks, or 30 billion NS dollars. You shall be rich beyond your wildest dreams, if only you take out Queen Maragret!

"And you may ask why I am giving the number in a currency that is banned in Gregoryisgodistan for commoners, and I will tell you why. We are also extending this offer to citizens of every country, excluding those on the Enemy List, and especially excluding San Jose Guayabal! And we'll extend it to those in east Saintland as well, as while we oppose the illegitimate government that is illegally occupying the eastern half of the Kingdom of Saintland, we have nothing against the people, who are innocent victims of a sexist and illegal government. However, the so-called "King" Andreas and others in his so-called "government" are ineligible for this offer, though if they want to bring the dead bodies here, maybe we can work something out. Or maybe we'll just kill you. You'll never know until you try, so if you want to try, you can, but we might just kill you instead of giving you the money. But yes, you're welcome to try. Of course you are.

"To receive this reward, foreigners do not need to travel to Gregoryisgodistan, unless of course they are "King" Andreas or his friends, they merely need to provide proof of death, a detailed description of how they killed the Guaya Scum, and a pictures of the dead bodies. And you know what? I'll tell you what. If you're in a nation on the Enemy List, as long as you're not a government official, we'll give you a partial reward - 500 trillion greggygodbucks, or 1.5 million NS Dollars. And if you kill one of the Most Wanted Scum, with the higher rewards, we'll give you the full reward just to show you how much we hate them!

"And government officials from Enemy List nations are welcome to come to our nation with the dead body and try to work something out, but again, we can't promise we won't kill you instead. You'll just have to try and find out. Maybe you'll be rewarded with numerous riches, maybe you'll be killed by Brownie Cutter of Death. But, Guaya Bean citizens of San Jose Guayabal cannot claim this reward for killing each other, since that's just what you do anyway. Again, though, you're welcome to show up and try, if by some miracle you get past the Wall of Death and Zone of Death. Though we may just kill you. We can't promise we won't. You'll just have to try and find out. And if you die, then at least you'll know.

"But now, the world will stand up and take notice of me, the One True Lord, who made both sea and land, and who will one day destroy San Jose Guayabal in a nuclear armageddon. And then the Guaya scum shall be forever dead, forever a gaping hole to our west where San Jose Guayabal used to be. They will be destroyed! They will be destroyed! Say it with me again! THEY WILL BE DESTROYED!"

Again, 75 million people across Gregoryisgodistan chant "THEY WILL BE DESTROYED!" non-stop for 25 minutes. This time, everybody chants, since those who didn't are already on their way to execution time. Lord Almighty Gregory puts a hand up to silence them and then continues his speech.

"Now, ladies, gentlemen, and slaves, let us vow as holy men and women to destroy the wicked land to our west, the wicked land of San Jose Guayabal. Let us vow to struggle for what is right, to destroy the menace that sleeps to our west. Let us vow to eliminate the Guaya Scum until there are no more of them, until they are erased from the page of time. Let us vow, let us vow, let us vow. Say it with me, will you vow it? Say, "WE WILL VOW!" Say it with me!"

All 75 million Gregoryisgodistanis, wherever they are, whatever they are doing, pause for 45 minutes and chant "WE WILL VOW!" Finally, Lord Almighty Gregory puts up a loving hand to silence them.

"Thank you, my loyal followers. Thank you for working together to destroy the Guaya Menace, to destroy the Guaya Scum. Let us destroy them! Death to SJG! Good night everybody!"

---

[/hr]
After Lord Almighty Gregory's speech, people spontaneously pile into the streets to show their hatred of San Jose Guayabal, burning Guayabalense flags, burning Queen Margaret in effigy, and even burning other Guayabalense celebrities such as every soccer player, past and present. In reality, government agents started this to rile up the people, then used subliminal messaging and audio in the telescreens to encourage people to go out and join them. Armed with flamethrowers, the people burn over 500,000 flags of San Jose Guayabal, as well as various symbols of San Jose Guayabal such as xylocarps, beans, and dioramas of their soccer stadiums. They also burned 300,000 effigies of Queen Margaret.

There were even rumors of citizens forming brigades with the hope of taking out Queen Margaret themselves, and claiming the massive reward for her death as individuals or a group, but these were unproven. Still, Queen Margaret had reason to fear for her life, as she was now the most wanted woman in the Multiverse, with a massive bounty on her head which could be claimed by virtually anybody, anywhere. We could even see an invasion of San Jose Guayabal by bounty hunters from all around the Multiverse, looking to claim the 30 billion NS Dollar prize for killing the Devil Queen herself.

Meanwhile, Government VIPs in Gregoryisgodistan whose names happened to be Margaret, Maggie, Peggie, Mags, or any variation thereof, were rushing to change their names to something else, preferably showing their hatred for San Jose Guayabal and their Devil Queen. All in all, it was a glorious and violent evening in Gregoryisgodistan, as hatred for San Jose Guayabal was mounting.

[Eura]

OOC: Essentially following on from here when it comes to the Battle of Oakstone. It is now approximately six months into the war.

War had brought much misery to Eura in the nightmarish months of fighting that had felt like an eternity. Its mighty armed forces had at times been dangerously humbled. At sea they had suffered severe losses in daring and well co-ordinated Sameban ambushes, while the nation's fuel supplies survived only on a knife edge as their enemies sought to destroy the imports on which Eura depends. Even the great port of Falourr itself hadn't been safe from the onslaught. That was not to say of course that the Euran Navy hadn't inflicted casualties on its opponents, but they hadn't been proportionate so far. In the air the bulk of the Sameban Air Force had been either held back or concentrated on the areas they had advanced south into. This strategy minimised their losses so far much to the frustration of EAF chiefs who had been itching to decimate Sameba's technologically inferior supply of jets.

Compounding this frustration was the surprising inability of Eura to strike back at Sameba so far. The political leadership in Bastion, or whichever bunker they were hiding in, was determined to save its resources and concentrate on defensive efforts in Oakstone. Only their brief nuclear assault on Sameba's nuclear facilities among other targets had reassured the world that Eura wasn't simply absorbing punches. Most worrying of all was the progress of the Sameban Republican Army, which had surged across the border in triumph, albeit while sustaining heavy losses. It had been their finest hour so far. Hundreds of miles of territory gained. Now they had even reached one of Eura's famed megacities. Oakstone had been a battleground for several months.

The effects of the Battle of Oakstone on the eponymous city had been enormous. The northern districts of the city, and to a lesser extent the western and central districts, had been dealt levels of damage that were unheard of in recent Rushmori history. Millions from around the world watched in horror and fascination on their television every evening as pictures beamed in of the struggle to end all struggles. Smouldering carcasses of buildings and the smoke of fires polluted much of the sky. A great many of the streets were simply impassable due to overwhelming amounts of rubble and destroyed vehicles, leading to intense urban fighting by two highly committed armies. Although Eura has a reputation for maintaining a consistent level of professional military might, tens of thousands of citizen soldiers were participating in the battle voluntarily. An even greater amount were being called up to play supporting roles to the official armed forces and militias.

The south and east of the city were better preserved but had still been subject to sporadic bombing raids by the SAF's faster bombers and attack aircraft. The main culprit for the destruction however was artillery. Sameba had dragged hundreds of artillery pieces and mobile artillery units south to lay siege to the embattled city. Every suburb, estate and high street of a city as populated as some countries was subject to a ruthless rain of high explosive and shrapnel. Nevertheless, the defenders had held on. Eura's own artillery and localised air power had made advancing beyond the suburbs an unwelcome task but Eura's overall technological advantage was negated by the great equaliser that is urban warfare. Increasingly the battle had the air of a stalemate. The most important reality though was that a stalemate favoured Eura. Every day that Sameba's massive commitment of men and material failed to hoist the green flag in the vast city centre was a day where their invasion force became more and more vulnerable and fatigued. By contrast Eura's war economy was still getting into gear and its main bulk of land forces remained in reserve.

Too many Euran's had bled for their freedom and safety at the hands of their neighbours already and the time was coming for this to change. Some sort of major effort to relieve the city had to be carried out soon. The Prime Minister, Michael Judge, and his war cabinet had already agreed on the method, but timing was a more difficult prospect. Everything had to be in place for the counterstrike to come off. Due to the nature of the battle, Eura had not committed the vast strength of its industrial machine on the ground despite pouring massive quantities of infantry into the city. Army Corps of a few hundred thousand, three of them, had been doing their job well without much armour in an environment that was hostile to it. On the other hand the Sameban's had actually sent a lot of their own vehicles forward to try and break the deadlock. They did this because they knew a breakthrough was needed to gain the kind of shock victory they desired to bring Eura to some kind of terms.

A long war would be a disaster for Sameba, which is why they had been prepared to put so much on the line in Oakstone and to its north. Thousands of supporting vehicles and personnel formed an unprecedented land and air supply chain across the ground they had gained. Small bases and camps like one mysteriously destroyed by what appeared to be Euran special forces earlier that month had been the lifeline of the advancing army, which at five armies strong was just over a million soldiers. At sea their navy was already operating at its limits on a seek and destroy mission like no other, attempting to cause havoc throughout Rushmore and beyond wherever Euran interests could be found. Victories had been gained but they were fleeting and not enough to earn final victory over the blue and gold leviathan. The consequence of this unspoken truth was that by design, this conflict was naturally handing Eura the initiative for every second that it refused to give in politically and negotiate a settlement.

The room where the most important decision of the war looked set to be made was an unremarkable office in one of Eura's very secret command and control bunkers in the south west of the country. A direct line had been established with the General Headquarters of the 2nd General Infantry Corps, which was holding the right flank of the great expanse that was the frontline of this war. They would usually be posted in a formidable and intimidating building in Directus. Damage from a surprise Sameban air attack down the east coast had assured them that this was an error, so now they resided in a much more subtle command facility further south. The overall military situation for their portion of Eura's army was ironically much less vulnerable. It might have been the case that the Sameban's had driven a spectacular wedge into Eura down the centre of the border's length, culminating at Oakstone, but on the left flank a brutal war of smaller numbers had produced few results in the more mountainous terrain they faced. This was despite their annihilation of half a Euran corps in the opening salvos of their attack with the help of a nuclear weapon dug under the DZ defences.

Where they had really faltered though was in the east. The 2nd had not lost much ground despite an initial armoured thrust supported by naval and air support. Only a few border towns had been ceded and thankfully most of their civilian inhabitants had been evacuated very efficiently. The armoured units supporting them had assisted in holding the line, producing the only significant tank battles of the conflict so far. The SRA simply didn't have the numbers to make such a bold attacking maneuver down Eura's east coast even though it was on paper the most vulnerable part of the line. Countless simulations and exercises pre-war had envisaged Sameba's tank battalions swarming down motorways in a thrilling charge that would conquer the appropriately named nuclear town Nukon, cut off the crucial commercial port of Eastweald from the rest of the country and threaten the Euran Navy at Falourr. No such attack ever came which provided Eura with an unexpected opportunity that played perfectly to its strengths. All they needed was a plan to not only pursue this opening, but to also decisively exploit it and turn the course of the war in doing so.

Early analysis of the situation before Oakstone's battle had actually reached its current intensity had made it clear that a central counterattack was not an option due to the overwhelming congestion of Sameban forces to fight through, especially as it would then be a long and almost entirely infantry based push through the war torn central borderlands. Attacking in the west was unlikely to be quick enough to outpace the redeployment of Sameba's majority of armoured divisions that were still at the border. A sea based offensive using Eura's impressive Marine Corps was the least viable option of all due to their commitment to retaking the Ferguson Islands in Endemia and fending off an invasion of Daera there. Therefore the most attractive option by far was a counter offensive down the east coast of the border. Skepticism had to be overcome at the Ministry of Defence and in the Prime Minister's office itself first to make it happen but the argument was eventually won. Key to winning the argument was the Chairman of the OSI who now notoriously had the ear of Amy Yarley ,the embattled Minister for Foreign Affairs. It was in that nondescript office which hadn't been freshly furnished for twenty years that he had successfully made the case alongside a raft of senior military figures who had mostly been advocating the same strategy. The only significant opposition had come from some of the army's more narrow minded general's who felt the war would be won in Oakstone alone.

Three preconditions had to be met for the new plan to succeed which the most senior officer in the Euran Army had come up with. General Bryan Maitlock pulled no punches as he read out the facts for one last time to the Prime Minister and his inner circle. 'Sir, to reiterate, the scenario is only plausible if we achieve the following in a buildup period of two weeks. We must firstly engage and destroy two major Sameban naval formations at sea, the First Endemian Fleet and the Second Grand Seas Fleet. Our colleagues from the Admiralty have already explained that this is now possible for the first time since hostilities began as the Sameban Navy has started to experience fuel shortages. As a result we know now that the First Endemian Fleet is returning from its run on the Pavola Gap where it tried and failed to sink one of our carrier groups and knock out the port at Helving. Our intelligence has come to the conclusion that for safety in numbers it will rendezvous briefly with the Second Grand Seas Fleet which sank nearly a whole carrier group. We've got three different naval groups mobilised in the Endemian Ocean who have what is needed to carry out such an operation. The risk is that if we fail the two fleets might be able to regroup with Sameban submarine patrols and hit back.' It had already been agreed that the navy needed to throw itself into that particular battle, but Maitlock wanted to make sure it was clear for the Prime Minister due to his nervousness over the situation at sea in particular.

Flicking through some slides at the same pace that he was speaking, Maitlock addressed the other two points. 'It is imperative that the Air Force does its part by launching Operation Indigo which was practiced several times in peacetime exercises. We need to launch a massed air attack on Aspel, Rivet, Storfan and surrounding towns using long range bomber aircraft including our SB-14 heavies and SB-16 supersonic bombers. Command, control and communication targets need to be hit hard and without warning. Naval support will also be needed to ensure the job is done, the Admiralty have already assured us this demand can be met. It all comes down at this point to the army's preparation and the work of our colleagues in intelligence.' Maitlock paused as Judge tapped the table quietly. He was clearly on edge just as much as everyone else was. 'The intelligence agencies have done an excellent service to the armed forces in the past month by masking our buildup. This has including mass communications interception, a quite remarkable amount of intelligence on the SRA's strength in the target area, the preparation of staging areas including reserve civilian traffic holding centres, and of course keeping as many loose lips sealed as we possibly can. Now I know we are prone to overstating our prowess in the oldest service but do not be discouraged Prime Minister. If we can get all of this in place then we will be ready to launch a major flanking offensive in the east two to three weeks from now. Our tanks will finally be unleashed on the enemy.'
'And if it goes wrong?'
'If it goes wrong, then we go back to attrition. But that's not going to happen sir. I am determined to see us knocking on the door of Aspel so hard that Gartanzo's bones will shake.' Maitlock had brought out the rhetoric for his final overture. He didn't need to really. The decision had already been made and the wheels were already in motion for what was provisionally known as Operation Roundhouse.

[Bonesea]

Anthropologists often ask me what effect Bonesea Rue - that's the Green Faerie - has on the prefrontal cortex and I usually show them this Boney party video

[Nephara]

Darmen 1-1 Nephara
(4-3-3) 1 - Fletcher; 2 - Koehler, 5 - Konoval, 6 - Scharner, 3 - Lohengrin; 8 - Tarashaj (16- Irwin 71'), 4 - Rainsford (c), 14 - Gosforth; 7 - Szalai (13 - Bereveskos 65'), 17 - Stavanger (9 - Hawke 78'), 21 - Amokachi
Goal: Gosforth 25'

Gideon Fletcher became dimly aware through the haze of his intense focus that he was on fire.
It wasn't a pleasant realisation, but given that the flames were only sort of licking up his sock, he probably had another few seconds until things got worse. He stomped vaguely at where the pain was and refocused himself. The referee hadn't noticed, and, well, he had to play to the whistle. This guy Lucanus had the ball and wasn't about to stop just because of a little fire.
He had a duty. So he ignored the flare, a-
- then the first coin hit.
Nephara's fans had had enough of this. There wasn't a clear consensus whether it was the players or the manager or, most likely, both who had let them down, but ever since the first World Cup had been won, it had raised their expectations. They'd hoped, they'd dreamed, after a manager wracked by crippling clinical anxiety and a team that played without fear had taken them to great things... and then Shale had made all the big talk about dynasty and failed to back it up, but at least he'd fucking qualified convincingly...
Now it was the 89th minute and they were set to be fifth.
The second coin hit. Then the third, and fourth, and a second flare, and even, imaginatively, a shaker of salt. And then a fight broke out between the minority hurling things and the majority who wanted them to stop hurling things, and chairs got ripped out of their seats, and someone was thrown, the pepper spray was broken out...
The match wasn't officially 'abandoned', in the end. The referee just decided that minus 20 seconds of injury time was, under the circumstances, the most appropriate course of action.

In the finest traditions of journalistic patriotism, the press had not been kind or supportive. "There we are," Fegelein said as she picked up her copy of the Western Star. The words 'FEGELEIN OUT!!!' were spattered across the back page, and, for good measure, the front. "'Darmen humiliation a step too far,' apparently - Christ, it was an unlucky draw!"
"You make your own luck," said Michael Brandon bitterly.
"We beat Cosumar, for fuck's sake! Away!"
"In a friendly. Who gives a shit about friendlies?"
"People should!"
"They don't," said Brandon, firmly. "In their eyes, you're just... a small-town Midas, and your touch has worn out."
"And in yours?"
The question came quickly, before Fegelein had a chance to second-guess herself. Brandon drew himself up to his full height, and... remained silent.
Fegelein snorted. "Yeah, well... Midas' touch was a curse, anyway."
"And yours isn't?" Brandon managed a tight, wry smile. "After all, it's brought you here, hasn't it... ?"

And in a small, clean room in a large, fastidious hotel, a seventy-nine year old with terminal lung cancer failed to wake up that morning.
But the machine refused to flatline.
Gethin Ramsey refused to die.

[Spaam]

"Hilnas, what on earth is going on?" Dr. Quexipha Fenfir sat in her office in the Spaamanian Football Association building, with the speaker-phone in front of her.

"Exactly what you are seeing on the television, Dr. Fenfir. Urk and Syku Lyku were in the gym training by themselves, and when the coach checked up on them, they were dead."

The greying woman ran her hands over her short hair and sighed. "What about Alan Belmore, is he okay?"

"Yes, he was out training with the others the whole time. We are putting extra security on him now."

"This is a disaster. You know how much we spent on developing these players." She sat back and glanced up at the muted monitor above her displaying the local news reports. "Our program will be set back years!"

"I am aware, Doctor. I've been working on this for years. These are my patients."

"Yes, yes, of course," replied Fenfir dismissively. "Are there any suspects? Have the police gotten anywhere with their investigations?"

"I've been in contact with them the whole time. As far as we can tell, no-one entered the whole time they were in the gym, and they were alive when the rest of the team left. They're still poring over the footage, but the only people in the compound are Hewelan and the team."

"How did they die?" asked the woman.

"It seems they were hit in the back of the head with a barbell pole. The police are taking DNA now. Since they're cleaned every night, they're hopeful something will come up."

Fenfir steepled her fingers in front of her face and thought. This was an unmitigated disaster, and would cruel their chances to qualify. "Make sure that Belmore stays with the rest of the team and is never left alone. We need him more than ever."

"Of course, Doctor. I'll be in touch. *click*"

Three years. Three years to get all the resources, the technology, the personnel. To obtain the DNA. Three years to do something that no-one had never done before. Each player was worth billions. And it was perfect, as far as the football was concerned. Who cares if they acted like automatons? As long as they scored goals and won games, they were perfect. Three of the best players in history, throughout the multiverse, and someone had destroyed it all. It could be rebuilt, but it would take years, and certainly not in time for the World Cup. Who? Who would do such a thing? Did we have enemies who wanted to stop us qualifying? His Majesty King Thalaamsus would be furious. At least Alan Belmore was still safe. And he was the best of the three... as long we could keep him safe we might still salvage something out of this. Hopefully we had enough wins to keep us ahead of our competition.

Fenfir sighed and rose from her desk. Better to face His Grace sooner rather than later.

---

"And the Krytenian fans are going crazy, they can smell victory here. With only one win to their name in qualifying so far, this will be a much needed boost to their chances, and even better, it is against their number one rivals to qualify in Group 2. The Spaamanians are just not playing like their usual selves, and it seems like the tragic death of two of their top players are deeply affected them. This was always going to be a tough ask, as Krytenia were close favourites at home, but the Orange and Black just don't seem to have any answers for what has been thrown at them today. They're still down, one goal nothing and there is just five minutes left on the clock. Krytenia is pushing deep down the left side, Côçô is marking his man closely... goes for the tackle and...
no, he sends it back and gives away the corner to the Sky Blues. This is just not Spaam's day, and they are looking very tired as they get into position, while Krytenia is looking excited at the prospect of revenge for their earlier two-nil loss last year. Lining up the kick... he crosses right into the middle, everyone is going for that ball, Inasys dives, GOAL! GOAL! That's two for the Sky Blues and Spaam's unbeaten streak is at an end as they fall to the home team. They will stay top of the table, but they are only ahead of Gregoryisgodistan on goal difference, and they still have to face the top seeds later this year. And unless they get a consolation in this last couple of minutes, this will be the first time Spaam has been kept scoreless since the Independent's Cup two years ago..."

[Electrum]

OOC: I had a much longer roleplay written up yesterday, and when I pressed submit my internet had crashed and I couldn't recover it...

Centralis Herald: Your wrap up - July 3rd

Electrum fends off Jeruselem to take top spot on the ladder
Marco Jensen

Some location, some stadium, Jeruselem - It took until the very end of the first half of qualification for Electrum to finally be on the top of Group 8's table, and it's this close finish that is expected to be repeated in the second half of qualification. This is because Electrum has a bye on the very first week, which means they will theoretically be a few points behind every week until the very last week, with the final match being against fellow top team Jeruselem.

A very early goal from Tyler Fernando livened up in what was otherwise a pretty ordinary and boring match between what was the second and third place teams in Group 8. In fact, Fernando scored the goal in the second minute of the game, taking advantage of the confusion of "The Princesses" (who were busy being confused and dysfunctional after not getting into their formation), coming in down the left and scoring 20 metres away from the goal.

It really was a tepid performance for the Electrumites, who instead of their disciplined selves, failed to take the opportunity to get more goals despite the early lead that they had built up. Although this pushes Electrum up to first place on the ladder, this does not bode well for Electrum, given that Valladares and Jeruselem are hot on their heels. Any repeat of this tepid performance will mean a very difficult time getting out of qualification, because of how close the group is.

Electrum CRC representatives accept Pasargan application; elimination of dual mandates
Frank Liszt

Centralis, Electrum - The Electrumite representatives of the Common Rushmori Community election have decided in a 27-6 decision to approve Pasarga's application to join the CRC, in a widely uncontroversial vote. This was the expected outcome of the vote with the mainstream parties of both left and right agreeing that Pasarga joining the CRC would be a victory for Electrumites, with access to larger markets and increased co-operation in areas such as immigration and security.

With Electrum's vote, only Savojarna, Aels and Ceni's votes are all that is required to give Pasarga the rights and privileges of being a Common Rushmori Community member. Electrum Nationalist MRP Walter Schmidt, one of the six Electrumite MRPs (member of the Rushmori Parliament) who voted against the membership said that, "Electrum should not desire to allow inferior, undemocratic nations such as Pasarga from entering the CRC. They will flood our economy with migrants and cheap exports and their MRPs will be bound by their monarch."

In separate news, the Provincial Senate recently gave assent to the bill that disallowed dual mandates between the Rushmori Parliament and the National Parliament in Centralis. The bill, introduced by Antonius Kruse, the current foreign minister, would ban anyone from simultaneously representing people in both the National Parliament and the Rushmori Parliament. There is only one person who is caught out by these new rules: Walter Schmidt, who is both the sole Nationalist MRP, but also the party leader of the Nationalists and Senator for Lyoness in the National Parliament. He has yet to respond to the new changes.

[Red Blackiland]

Red Blackiland Sports and Off-topic Chronicles

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The Cave

RB fans watching the second goal in the match against Drawkland

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Author : Mathias Gërdorffen

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The torch overwhelms the darkness of the cave, illuminating passages and paths, revealing the rock stakes on the floor and ceiling. Skeletons occupied the corners, bones of men and animals settling as they could in the uncomfortable landscape. This was the Cave of Hell, from which no one had ever returned, and as he went deeper and deeper, the traveler wondered what could be so deadly about him. So far nothing was particularly frightening: no dangerous animals, insects or poisonous fungi, or even unexpected traps, such as hidden ditches or unpredictable landslides.
Suddenly, as he passed one of the tunnels toward a hollow in the earth, the traveler felt a wind blowing through the rocks, a light and soft breeze, cold but not at all uncomfortable. And then he heard: the wind that hit the rocks, passed through channels, echoed in the tunnels. It was not a scary or macabre sound; On the contrary, the notes seemed to obey a careful score, the echoes of the tunnels overlapping with harmony, like a great orchestra of woodwinds. Surprised and amazed, the traveler paused to follow the melody.
Hours, days, weeks passed. The traveler was still there, settling in a corner of the cave, thinner by lack of food and sleep. But none of that mattered: I just wanted to keep listening to the music the rocks blew.

---

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The Loneliness and Silence

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The traveler was leaning against a tree of thoughts, watching the rotten fruits-daydreams devoured by amnestic worms. He was alone again, from when he dared to remember; She had been so many times so it was the routine she craved in the short comings and goings of company. One by one, his temporary companions, his pretensions, and even the lonely feelings that had come to torment him no longer - had been abandoned by his own solitude.
He sighed and tried to murmur something, any words that would at least accompany him for a moment. Nothing: also the sound had left him, going in search of another mouth to leave. He got up, and walked again; Decided to take advantage while the image of that forest of ramblings did not abandon him, leaving behind a more interesting explorer to confuse.

---

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The Eye

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A hurricane hit the city of Port Sachen, destroying everything it passed. Houses, cars, plates, buildings: nothing stood before the terrible fury of nature. With each passing day, people despaired, closing in on their homes and praying to all the gods they knew to be strong enough.
Which did not stop the hurricane from following its journey from the sea to the office of Dr. Stindl, where, to everyone's surprise, stopped moving. Dr. Stindl, an ophthalmologist, was there when it happened-and he could see the eye of the hurricane from the window, standing still while everything around it moved violently. He looked curiously at that image, watching it for several minutes; Shortly thereafter, he took one of his equipment and examined it. He scribbled something on a piece of paper and went to open the window - under the protests of his secretary, who was almost swallowed by the gale.
Holding himself so as not to be carried away by the wind, Dr. Stindl released the paper into the air, which flew to a stop just in front of the center of the eye. A few moments later, the hurricane bowed in thanks and left, heading to where it could buy a pair of glasses with the prescription delivered by the doctor.

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Drawkons Wise Warriors: The next game of Das SpielHaus

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Learn about the dragons in the land of Drawkland

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Group Storyline Quest #11 - The Luingeachain (Dark Wrath)

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This mission can be triggered after the mission 'The Ongoing Enemy'. A Cardogan warrior known as Dark Wrath is offering aid for the Insection from his mercenary company, the Luingeachain's. A messenger is waiting outside the Smallah'ch Mecha'dah, introducing himself as Granndach, a member of the Luingeachain, talk to him to proceed the mission. Unlock the Ceannaideach Coast area if you haven't already and then head there to meet with the Dark Wrath, on the coast, he and his company can be found on the beach just past the Coast's Wilderness Camp, as the Insector arrives, the Luingeachain's are in the midst of a battle with some Bruisian Empire warriors and archers. The Luingeachain's can be supported in the battle with barrier and defensive spells, though Dark Wrath himself is invulnerable, then after the fight, the Insection Leader can speak to Dark Wrath and either accept or reject him and the Luingeachain's for recruitment to the Insection, a next Insection text entry will unlock upon completion of the mission. This is how you recruited, or can recruit, Dark Wrath.

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Group Storyline Quest #12 - The Assault (Dark Wrath)

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The Eairdsidh Group have offered an alliance with the Insection and the Insection Leader must accompany Dark Wrath and his Luingeachain's to meet an agent in the Ceannaideach Coast, you must have spoken to Dark Wrath about the Eairdsidh Group and have had a drink with him and the Luingeachain's at Blárach, which requires at least a couple of approval, after the cutscene introducing the Luingeachain, the next time you speak to Dark Wrath triggers this quest mission.
Then, go to the Ceannaideach Coast with Dark Wrath, speak with him to begin the assault, clear out the Dhuinnians, signal the dreadnought, check on Dark Wrath back at Blárach, Dark Wrath's extension on Eairdsidh's offer is a surprise even to him, and the Insector can voice distrust of the Cardogan to Dark's disapproval, bringing Seratas will unlock some more dialogue regarding history between the Bruisian Empire and the Cardogan's, when ready, head to the Ceannaideach Coast and approach the rendevouz point north of the MacUrchaidh Fort. The Dark Wrath's contact, Rob Matasan, will be waiting at the Ceannaideach Coast and announces the plan. He tells that it's a pleasure to meet you, as the Insector and the Eairdsidh's reports say you're doing good work, you can respond that it's a pleasure to meet Rob, which grants slightly approvals, or that you're thrilled or that both of you have common enemies, but no longer have any approval impact. If Seratas is in the group, he says that one free from all that pointless free will and independent thought and that's such an improvement, if you says that Bruisians are worse or that Seratas is right, grants you some little aproval, but if you respond with that neither side is perfect or to focus on the important things, they have no change in approvals. Then, Rob explains that they'll need to eliminate the Dhuinnians, then signal the dreadnought so it can come in and take out the smuggler ship, you can ask to Dark Wrath if this works for him, which grants you another piece of little approval level.

Drawkons - Defeat the Dhuinnians

The Cardogan dreadnought Fearghasdan with a crew of one hundred and fifty souls, intends to end a Dhuinnian smuggling operation, their cargo is refined likitia, and the Eairdsidh Group see this as a clear and present threat to Cardogan's ambitions in the south, fearing this will allow the Dhuinnian to wipe out the Cardogan presence in Cosgraigh and turn the war's tide in favour of Bruis, before returning north to crush the Insection, to secure victory and allow the dreadnought's bombardment to succeed, both Dhuinnian encampments must be wiped out simultaneously, Rob, Dark Wrath and the Insector's group will leave to handle one site, while Granndach and the Luingeachain's leave to destroy the other, Dark Wrath will go to brief Granndach, and Rob can be spoken to for some more information on his own history, Dark's past and life under the Card, afterwards, speaking to Dark Wrath will begin the assault. The lower path to the fortification site is blocked off, so head directly south past where Dark Wrath was speaking to the Luingeachain to reach the camp, the Dhuinnians have set up some smaller watchposts along the path which must be dealt with first, the first campsite has a Dhuinnian Shale'dech, two Dhuinnian Warriors with defensive shields, once they're dead, a pair of Dhuinnians archers and another Shale'dech can be found behind the trees on the hill north west of the camp fire.
The main Dhuinnian camp is south-east of the first camp, containing a Dhuinnian elf-mage, three Shale'dechs and a Warrior, the elf-mage is farthest from the camp entrance and so has the advantage of range, thus removing the mage first will make the rest of the battle easier, after the Dhuinnians are defeated, the camp can be a place to search for items, afterwards, light the campfire to signal the dreadnought. Once the signal has gone up a large number of Dhuinnians are seen marching towards the Luingeachains, in the end the player must make a choice, tell Dark Wrath to order the Luingeachains to retreat, saving their lives but at the cost of the dreadnought and the alliance. This makes Dark Wrath, from a Cardogan to a Padean, which are Cardogan's who abandoned the teachings of Card. Or you can tell Dark Wrath to leave the Luingeachains to die, saving the dreadnought and the alliance at the cost of their lives, this option reaffirms Dark Wrath's commitment to the Card and its teachings. Regardless of the decision, Dark Wrath will approve right after reaching Blárach, Rob will visit the fort one final time, either to tell Dark Wrath he has been declared a Padean or that the Insector has been named a Dhubhaigan and that the Eairdsidh will begin forwarding the full extent of the Cardogan's information on the Dhuinnian spy agents network.

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Group Storyline Quest #13 - The Clues of Ngallah (Leilara)

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This quest-mission becomes available after completing the mission 'Planing The Future', which Leilara receives a posthumous letter from Celestial Ngallah instructing her to travel to the Gillebrìde where the Celestial Ngallah had formerly been the Holy Lady, Leilara believes that Ngallah left something there for her, so the Insector shall accompanies her on this journey. After arriving, Leilara will reminisce about traveling here after the Third Moyle, with the Enskrik'en, and meeting Ngallah, who was at the time still the Holy Lady Anabla, then a woman named Sister MacLagain appears and greets Leilara, who signals to the Insector that something seems wrong. MacLagain and Leilara chat about the mysterious letter, considering what it means and where Ngallah may have left a last memento for Leilara, as well as of other matters, Leilara notes several esoteric clues that the Insector can use to discover hidden mechanisms beneath related Mecha'dah paintings in order to open a secret door hiding Ngallah's final gift for Leilara, so the clues are: 'don't forget that faith is inside little things, even a branch can have a faith sprung', painting in anteroom of thorny branch, the second one is 'a clean mind is an open heart', painting in statue room of Henig's death, with a steel crossing the chest, and the last one 'our will shouldn't fear the terror of darkness', symbolizing the brazier in statue room.

Drawkons - The Secret Door

Once the secret door is revealed, Leilara turns on MacLagain and threatens her with a knife, it appears that MacLagain was a plant sent by Mecha'dah Cléric MacNèill, who was previously a nominal opponent of Celestial Ngallah and is now an enemy of the Insection preparing to move against what she sees as a heretical organization, Leilara notes MacLagain's slips in conversation and dress that tipped her off and prepares to kill her. If the Insector has previously taken actions to make Leilara's personality more chill, notably, persuading her not to kill her agent in Smallah'ch and convincing her that her agents are not expendable following the destruction of Mecha'dah in the main quest mission 'Inside Burning', she can be discouraged from this course of action and will merely threaten MacLagain into aiding the Inquisition, if not, she'll kill MacLagain.
Once inside the secret room, Leilara will discover a box that appears empty, on further inspection, there is an inscription within it stating that the right hand should lay down in her bundle, so Leilara realizes that Ngallah is releasing her, the Celestial feared using Leilara as happened with other females at other times, and felt she had failed her as the spirit in Dark in the main quest-mission Planing the Future, noted by taking advantage of Leilara in order to keep her own hands clean, confirm her ''chill'ed'' personality, the Insector can advise Leilara to stop torturing herself, or else confirm her tough personality if she has killed MacLagain and been encouraged to be more ruthless. Following the visit to Gillebrìde, speak with Leilara in Blárach to follow up on this side-quest mission and complete it. Leilara will find peace with Celestial's death and her own future.

[Super-Llamaland]

TIGERS STRUGGLING TO PULL AWAY

Nicholas Turner, LSN Football

When it was announced that the Tigers had been drawn into a Group 15 where they were expected to qualify, with the likes of New Gazi, Kaboomlandia, and Polkopia standing between them and second place, Llamanean fans were understandably excited. Since Bogdan Antonescu's resignation as manager after WC71, the Tigers just haven't been able to find consistent World Cup qualification, with just two appearances in the next six World Cups. It was hoped that the appointment of Ethanian Curtis Steeling and the implementation of his system of "explosive football" would bring the Tigers back to consistent qualification, and maybe even competitiveness at the World Cup (with the Llamaneans coming back from their last two World Cups completely empty-handed). Unfortunately, what these qualifiers show is that the Tigers are not ready to take that step up yet. After ten games, the Tigers have twenty points - with two draws and two losses. It's not a terrible record, but it's disappointing to only be two points ahead of the third-place team - and already virtually eliminated from winning the group, with Schottia perfect so far.

It's completely understandable that a new manager might need some time to successfully implement a new system. And the LFA and fans were cognizant that Curtis Steeling's new system was a lot different than traditional Llamanean football. But although the Llamaneans have been mostly able to stop smaller teams from scoring, the "Explosive" part of Explosive Football is still sorely lacking. The Tigers have just sixteen goals in ten games, far from the attack-minded Tigers teams of the past. "Explosive Football" is defensive-minded, but that shouldn't correspond to a listless and wasteful attack.

The established front three of Ansel Penbrooke, Eva Velasquez, and Miroslav Vorobyov is used to getting constant service from the midfield and fullbacks, and having to create their own chances off the counterattack is a definite shift (although it's something Penbrooke is more than capable of after a season spent at Bishop). The substitutes' bench provides nothing better though, with Sophia Trevelyan, Carsten Vincent, and Axel Korborg all looking unimpressive in their appearances.

As for the defense? Some might point to the team's record of ten goals conceded in ten games, something that's a lot better than what past teams have mustered. But anyone can keep a clean sheet against Gegernia, and it's undeniable that the defense hasn't stepped up against more determined opposition. And despite playing in such a defensively-minded system, the defense has still been porous against the likes of New Gazi (where the Tigers won 3-2) and Schottia (where the Tigers lost 3-0). Still, there's been definite improvement here. Steeling takes the credit for most of it, but it's undeniable that Ephraim Wagner and Emily Ynoa have both stepped up.

But still, the slight defensive improvements may not be enough. It's clear that Curtis Steeling's goal this cycle is to not only qualify, but to make some noise in the World Cup - something the Tigers haven't really done since WC70, nearly two decades ago. And with its focus on staunch defending and explosive counterattacks, his system does seem optimal for a World Cup upset. But if Steeling can't implement his plan quickly, the Tigers might not even qualify. And because the system is so different than what Llamaneans are used to, it's quickly becoming evident that the implementation of "Explosive Football" will take longer than Steeling expected.

[Chromatika]

OOC: Apologies for my short RPs the last few days. Enjoyed the long weekend, and then didn't take into account Bonesea's cutoffs are when I'm at work, so I have to write a day in advance. That being said, since there's six matchdays left after this one, and I've done three profiles already, two per day should let me introduce all fifteen before the Propers begin, I'm hoping!

Chromatika 1-0 West Angola

Lineup vs. West Angola: Elise; Cameron - Colbert - Lorenzo; Minke - Montague (C) - Berit - Etienne; Baumgartner - Mehdizade - Chesser. Subs: Sybill -> Berit ('52), Rien -> Baumgartner ('66), Ria -> Elise ('88)
Goal: Mehdizade '21 assisted by Montague Player of the Match: Aide Mehdizade (1 goal)

A narrow, exciting win over West Angola that kept the Chromatiks perfect with nine points to spare and six matches to go was tainted by bench keeper Halide Elise having to leave the game late due to a muscle strain on her left arm. Elise, who was pitching a shutout against West Angola, had to be replaced with Mia Ria for the last few minutes. Silian Parker was thinking of letting Nioli Quren in for the last few minutes, the skipper admitted, but the strategy of saving a substitute super late saved the Chromatiks as Ria was able to withstand the last few West Angolan attacks in the narrow victory.

Doctors say that Elise's injury is not serious and that the keeper should make a full recovery. That being said, Parker has already slated Ria as his starting keeper at Leopian, a minnow of footballing power that gave the top seeded Chromatiks a lot of trouble the first time they met. Ria is determined to redeem herself after letting in two goals early in that match.

It is heartbreak for Elise, as Nier and Ria are both much better than she is, and if it isn't starting in these games against the also-rans in the group, she won't get many more opportunities to represent the black and white in her dwindling career.

Lineup @ Leopian: Ria; Cameron - Colbert - Damjana; Minke - Montague - Berit - Etienne; Niro - Victoriane (C) - Chesser.

[Yue Zhou]

(ooc: please change my style mod to +2.5)

THE BEI'AN STAR - FOOTBALL
QIU HANYING FORCED TO RESIGN

Dong Haijun - Sports Contributor

After a start to the qualifying campaign that can only be described as a major disappointment, Red Dragons manager Qiu Hanying has been forced to resign. While the Yuezhou Football Association (YFA) searches for a new manager, assistant manager Ma Yong has taken the reins of the national team.

"I was honored to be chosen by the Yuezhou Football Association to lead our national football team to their first-ever international appearance. Unfortunately, after we have managed just seven points out of our first ten games, it is becoming clear that I am not the right man, and this is not the right system, to lead the Red Dragons forward," Qiu said in a hastily-assembled press conference after reports indicated that the YFA had told him to step down immediately. And the veteran manager couldn't be more right. Under Qiu's leadership, the Red Dragons played a dour, defensive brand of football that struggled to score goals. Indeed, after ten matches, Yuezhou had just seven goals. Even more worryingly, five of these goals were scored by substitutes, showing that Qiu's lineup selection was perhaps misguided as well.

But, while teams have qualified with similarly weak offenses and unbreakable defenses, Yuezhou couldn't defend coherently, either, with their twenty-one goals conceded fourth-worst in the group. Despite the dominant play of captain and center-back Han Ruoyang, who has been one of the few players to impress during this disastrous qualifying campaign, the defense has simply made too many mistakes - and it's showed.

Add up a sloppy defense and a struggling offense and what do you get? A disappointing eighth-place standing in a group with only nine teams. While the Red Dragons were never going to seriously challenge the likes of Nephara and Starblaydia, they were at least expected to be sixth, ahead of all of the other minnows in the group. While there's still six games to play, they haven't even achieved that - and many of the reasons why can be traced back Qiu Hanying.

And not only will the manager be leaving, but his unsuccessful system will be, too. Ma Yong revealed in his own press conference that the YFA were looking for a more dynamic, attack-minded national-team manager - in short, the exact opposite of the traditionalist, close-minded Qiu. And there are a number of domestic managers who can do that, although the Nangang Royals' Kang Guilin is widely expected to take the position. It's obviously too late to expect qualification from such a tough group after Yuezhou's poor start to the campaign. But with a new, younger lineup, a manager more willing to adjust, and a more attacking style of play, the Red Dragons might be able to make some noise.

[Abanhfleft]

Not my best work by my own standards but I really hope that quality stories and posts will be back soon. Also, no match report for today because I am pressed for time once again.

Sand as Red as Blood, Part Two

Pridnestrovian submarine K-312
Somewhere off the coast of Atlantian Oceania

"Yasila, status report," Captain First Rank Tanya Nikitovna Kalinina asked through the intra-submarine communications system, sometimes called the "kashtan" because of its similarities to the chestnut.

Captain Lieutenant Yasila Markovna Vroyev, missile officer of the K-312, took hold of the kashtan nearest to her and put it to her mouth. "We've checked all of the rest of the silos, Comrade Captain," she replied. "Looks like silo eight is the only one with a leaking missile."

"All right, now where's Yelena? I need to talk to her."

Vroyev passed on the kashtan to Captain Lieutenant Yelena Karpovna Stutskaya, the hull integrity officer of the submarine. "Have you located the source of the water leaks?" Kalinina asked her.

"Yes, Captain," Stutskaya replied. "Unfortunately, the failed seal is also at silo eight."

Kalinina shook her head and lightly banged her forehead against the kashtan in her hand. "Please tell me that that's all we have to worry about," she said once she was sure that she had control of her voice.

"I'm sorry, Captain, but this is exactly what one of our worst-case scenarios are," Vroyev replied. "The best we can do is to isolate this tube and hope that not much more fuel or water leaks in. Surfacing won't do us much good either except stop the seawater from leaking in from the faulty seal. We can't do any repairs here; we'll have to go all the way back to Novmash to fix the missile and drain the pooled fuel and water at the bottom of the silo. You would think that after suffering these kinds of incidents throughout our seventy-year history, the designers of our submarines would finally find a way to safely drain leaking missile fuel and seawater from a sub, Captain."

"Yes, Yasila, that's true, but if they did that then how would they be able to improve the submarines with new designs every time one sinks?" Kalinina asked back rhetorically. Submariners often had a black sense of humor due to the inherently dangerous nature of their profession.

"What do you want us to do, Captain?" Stutskaya asked.

"Seal the silo, seal the whole missile compartment if you have to," Kalinina ordered. "Remember the effects of the fumes from the missile fuel. That's the last thing we need on this trip."

"Yes, Comrade Captain," Vroyev and Stutskaya said at the same time. Everyone knew the stories of the incidents of missile fuel leaks onboard submarines told by those who were lucky enough to survive and related by the historians who could only piece together what could possibly have happened in the incidents where no one survived. Kalinina then dropped her kashtan and walked towards the communications station in the control room. "Tatiana, are we in contact with the Admiralty?" she asked.

"Yes, Captain," Captain Lieutenant Tatiana Kirilovna Avorkina, the communications officer, replied. "I was receiving some scheduled traffic from Admiralnaya when we went into the emergency. I've already told Admiralnaya to stand by to receive further traffic from us. Do you want me to send them an update on our situation, Captain?"

"Yes, let's," Kalinina agreed, "but let's stick to the bare facts for the moment, Tatiana. Tell them that we've found a leak in one of our missiles and have a faulty seal over one of our silos, but nothing more than that. On second thought, maybe you should add in a request to cut the patrol and to return to base. You can never know how the Admiralty is going to react to all of these things at the same time."

"As you wish, Comrade Captain," Avorkina said, typing on her console to compose the message that she would transmit back to the Office of the Admiralty of the Pridnestrovian Navy.

Meanwhile, back in the missile compartment, two seamen (who were actually women but carried the gendered rank titles) had been tasked to monitor the status of silo eight, specifically the pressure and temperature inside the tube. The missile's liquid fuel, when combined with seawater produced an exothermic chemical reaction which produced both toxic gases such as chlorine and nitrogen dioxide and intense heat. As long as there was only a small amount of fuel and seawater collecting in the bottom of the silo and the pumps were keeping up with the flow then there wasn't too much to worry about. Still, the seamen had been ordered to keep an eye on the temperature and pressure in case the heat got to a hundred degrees or the pressure went to something crazy like a three hundred pounds per square inch.

"This has to be some of the most boring duties during an emergency," one of the women seaman said as she kept an eye on the temperature dial. "We have to do nothing but stare at this circle thing and hope that it doesn't begin swinging wildly and whatnot."

"Be glad that this is all we have to do at the moment," the other seaman told her companion. "If we screw up with this then we're going to have to go around wearing gas masks because of the nitrogen dioxide or the nitric acid or whatever it is that makes this whole thing dangerous in the first place.

"I guess you're right about that... What's that noise?" the first seaman asked suddenly.

The second seaman looked down at the silo's bilge pumps. "Chyort," she muttered. "The flow of seawater into the tube has increased."

"What? How in the world did that happen?" the first seaman asked. She then reached out for the kashtan and called out, "Lieutenant Vroyev, Lieutenant Stutskaya, I think we have a problem over in silo eight."

"What is it, Seaman?" Vroyev asked from the control room.

"We've got more seawater flowing into the tube by the minute," the seaman reported.

"Govno!" Stutskaya muttered from their station. "Looks like that seal test we did just made the leak worse," she told Vroyev.

"How bad is that, exactly?" Vroyev asked.

"If we don't jettison the missile immediately, the water pressure is going to squeeze the missile even further and create more leaks in the fuel tanks and add more fuel into the seawater until it's all a vicious cycle," Stutskaya replied.

"Seaman, keep an eye on those temperature gauges," Vroyev ordered through the kashtan. "Tell us when it gets to ninety degrees."

"Yes, Comrade Lieutenant," the seaman replied. "You heard the lieutenant; we should keep an eye on this temp gauge once again."

"What did she say we should watch out for again?"

"When that gauge hits a hundred degrees, we have to call the lieutenant immedately because it means something bad is about to happen."

"If that's the case then shouldn't we be calling them now?"

"What? Why?"

"Look at the gauge. I think it's already passed a hundred degrees and is already at, what is that, one-hundred twenty degrees..."

The first seaman had barely even begun reaching for the kashtan before an orange fireball suddenly appeared out of the side of the missile tube and engulfed the two women standing right beside it. The fire was then quickly replaced by water rushing in from the ruined tube, whose hatch had now been popped by the explosion.

[Darmen]

Mayor of Scott City demands Inquiry
"Fan violence at World Cup Qualifier should have never occurred"

Gundisalvus Kruse (MND), Mayor of Scott City, was quick to denounce the actions of both Nepharan and Darmeni "fans" who engaged in fighting in the closing moments of the All Green's 1-1 draw against the Cormorants. The violence began when Nepharan fans, angered by their team's lack of success so far in these Qualifiers, began to throw flares and coins at Nepharan goalkeeper Gideon Fletcher and other Nepharan players in the proximity of the stands where the Nepharan fans were seated. Nearby Darmeni fans, hoping to put an end to the disruption in the match, decided not to wait for stadium security and Metropolitan Police to intervene and instead did so themselves.

It took almost a half hour for Metropolitan Police's Riot Response Squad to arrive at the stadium, but the fighting was mostly finished by that time. Fans from both sides, almost all of them exhausted from the fracas, were arrested on various charges, ranging from Assault to Rioting, a few even being charged with Incitement of Violence. While Darmeni fans are likely to face the full brunt of the Darmeni justice system, Nepharan fans faced much lighter punishment. According to Metropolitan Police Chief Isadore Albert, the Nepharan fans who were arrested were detained for 24 hours, given minor fines, and ordered to leave the country within 12 hours.

In a stadium already verging on the decrepit, fans on both sides caused major damage, with almost 100 seats being torn from their place for use as a weapon. It is likely that Thomas Stadium will see a further reduction in seating, while its already scheduled demolition may be moved up to occur at an earlier date.

Mayor Kruse has called for the Scott City Municipal Council which he leads to form an inquiry committee to review the incident and make recommendations for changes to be made so that similar occurrences do not happen in the future. The inquiry is likely to take several weeks, possibly even months, to deliver its final report.

Other Headlines

• Foreign Affairs Secretary, Joshua Rademacher, responds to criticism of handling of arrested Nepharan fans
• Opposition lawmakers decry lack of security at match: "If flares can get through security, so can bombs!"
• Six matches remain in Qualifying campaign: Can Darmen make it?
• Euran population in Darmen continues to rise, now numbers a few thousand

[Tumbra]

THE HERALD

EIGHTH WIN FOR BLUE LIONS AS CRUCIAL MATCH APPROACHES

- Crunch time as Blue Lions face La Selecta at home tomorrow
- Blue Lions top of group by 2 points
- Win could see Tumbra advance to five points ahead of La Selecta
- Speculation still rife - who could be replaced?

HIRVONI - The Blue Lions bravely march on to what could finally be their first ever qualification in six attempts as they defeated Hirvania in the Kamil Hirvoni Stadium, Hirvania. The 2-0 scoreline reflected a safe approach from Robin Stoff, as he seeks to guide the team through playing safely - and not dangerously. Where vital players were rested ahead of a vital game against San Jose Guayabal, ranked third in the world, the backup squad did not disappoint - especially considering how some of them might be replaced if Tumbra makes it to the World Cup proper.

The warm evening saw the match heat up quickly, and it did not take long to produce excitement. Barely 90 seconds in, Peter Jones made a fantastic run aided by Ervin Geeson as he hit the crossbar with a well placed shot. The Tumbrans pounded the Hirvanian defences throughout the first half, until Robert Alexander finally made a incisive run in and hit the near side of the goal sixteen minutes in.

Marich Lovoni made several run ins on goal, but Ryan Hughes - playing in what looks set to be his final cycle for the Blue Lions - tipped the shot over the crossbar in the thirty-seventh minute. A free kick in favour of the Hirvanians also failed to materialise any goalscoring opportunities.

After the break, the Hirvanians sought to break the deadlock in their favour, with Lovoni once again making several threatening runs on goal which were stopped by Ian Keum at times, and Alex Tucker by others. A well-placed cross in the seventy-fifth minute saw Peter Jones finally score, after a complicated manouvre by Arnold Lowe highlighted how technical the midfielder can really be.

The final fifteen or so minutes were spent mostly defending the two-goal advantage from the advancing Hirvonians, with players like Arlin Mushutai and Josan Roknovich all coming close to scoring, but failing at the final hurdle of Ryan Hughes' gloved fingertips.

The match ended 2-0 in favour of the Tumbrans, in what was a decisive result which was sorely needed before the match against top seeds San Jose Guayabal in Goldlion. The match sees a re-run of the fixture that ran earlier in the qualifying cycle, during which the Blue Lions fended off a resurgent Selecta and a hostile crowd to secure a 2-2 draw - which Robin Stoff admitted was probably "the best result they could have gotten."

Playing at home, on a streak of wins and having the confidence in their playing style that was sorely lacking in previous cycles, Stoff and the team must surely see this as a must-win opportunity for the Blue Lions if they are to have any hope in securing qualification - their match against the third seed, Abanhfleft, is being played away, after that massively disappointing 5-2 loss.

Indeed, this was the tune that Stoff sang following the win, citing this as a "major confidence booster" for the team. He, however, remained cagey on his plans for the match and for the team as a whole, especially if the team make it to the World Cup proper. The TFA have released no statement regarding the changing of players before the World Cup.

With that win, the Blue Lions are currently top of Group 1, something which quite a few people thought would be a Herculean task to achieve. Yet the Blue Lions have fought for the lead over the past ten matchdays, and have claimed it, held it and reclaimed it quite a few times.

A win on Sunday would see the Blue Lions advance to five points ahead of San Jose Guayabal. Abanhfleft have no chance of making the top two at this time as they have a bye game tomorrow, with their next match being away at HUElavia.

The questions regarding Stoff's statement after the win at Löptsegl remain as many as there were at that time, and as many remain unanswered. Who will stay? Who will go? Could Brandon Brooks be dropped? Will the new team be able to guide the Blue Lions through the World Cup as safely as they did through the qualification cycle? Should Stoff replace the team before qualifiers end, to let the new team have some time to bond?

Will Stoff continue as manager beyond this cycle?

Stoff refused to answer all those questions and more during the press conference.

Those are all questions that the public does not have the answer to. Those are also all questions that any self-respecting football manager would not answer. In the
meantime, however, the match against San Jose Guayabal is the country's greatest priority - and should be addressed before any other.

Who should be replaced?

The Herald's view is that the team is badly in need of restructuring, and this opportunity presents itself in a rather opportune manner. Several players like Lucien Parker, Robin Bailey, Michael Normandy, Charlie Lester, Luke de Coubertin, Evan Hughes, Elijah Adams, Jacob Craite, Amelia Roberts, Anna Colt, Tricia Hunt and Ashley Wilson all are deserving of spots, and spots should be made available for them.

OUT	IN	Position
Steven Haines, 35	Lucien Parker, 22	Goalkeeper
Louis Paterson, 30	Charlie Lester, 21	Left-back
Steve Nelson, 31	Robin Bailey, 23	Centre-back
Alex Tucker, 30	Amelia Roberts, 24	Centre-back
Roger Baker, 31	Luke de Coubertin, 24	Central defensive midfielder
William Coleman, 32	Elijah Adams, 26	Central midfielder
Arnold Lowe, 30	Jacob Craite, 23	Right midfielder
Justin Bielsen, 29	Anna Colt, 24	Left midfielder
Ervin Geeson, 34	Tricia Hunt, 20	Central defensive midfielder
Raymond Perry, 32	Michael Normandy, 24	Goalkeeper
Albert Foster, 30	Evan Hughes, 25	Right winger
Peter Jones, 28	Ashley Wilson, 23	Striker

Of course, not all the spots will be made available at this time. The team does require a degree of certainty about it, and hence this team should be fully implemented by the 80th World Cup qualification cycle. This is, however, a start and a reminder that these are only the Herald's views on who should be replaced, based on age and appearance.

Will this herald a Golden Generation for Tumbra? Only time will tell. For now, however, the Blue Lions must remain focused on their match against La Selecta.

Bold indicates goals scored by Tumbrans.

Kel-Assuk 2-3 Tumbra
S. Khalej 19', J. Krajewski 29', J. Krajewski 29', I. Azellay 79', O. Ganson 84'

Tumbra 2-1 Hirvania
J. Krajewski 8', J. Roknovich 88', J. Krajewski 90' + 3'

San Jose Guayabal 2-2 Tumbra
H. Butler 37', K. Santos 49', K. Santos 57', P. Jones 88'

Tumbra 1-0 Nellietopia
J. Krajewski 4'

Löptsegl 0–2 Tumbra
J. Krajewski 16', H. Butler 74'

Tumbra 2-5 Abanhfleft
A. Rosseau 16', J. Krajewski 27' (pen), L. Prescott 31', C. Stuart 51', C. Stuart 55', C. Stuart 77', O. Ganson 90' + 2'

HUElavia 0-1 Tumbra
J. Krajewski 60'

Tumbra 4-1 Bongo Johnson
BONGO JOHNSON STRIKER 7', J. Krajewski 37', O. Ganson 59', O. Ganson 74', O. Ganson 88'

Tumbra 3-1 Kel-Assuk
I. Azellay 74', P. Jones 78', P. Jones 81', R. Alexander 90'

Hirvania 0-2 Tumbra
R. Alexander 16', P. Jones 75'

[Apox]

Sammie Puskas sat at her desk in Hyton at the Football Development Complex. Across from her, sheepish looking, were the other senior members of the IFA. She'd called an emergency meeting after discovering that the IFA had lodged a bid with the Chromatika Football Federation, to host the 70th Cup of Harmony. Yes, discovered, as she hadn't actually had anything to do with organising this bid.

Opposite her were Jules Frokost, Head of International Relations in the IFA; Hans Nielssen, Head of Domestic Relations in the IFA; Sto Southwold, Head of Youth Development and Alaria Benthron, Head of PR. They sat in an icy silence, until Sammie spoke;

"What the fuck is this madness?" she said, struggling to control her voice, slamming the bid document on the table violently enough to cause Jules Frokost to jump. She was met with another silence.
"Oh, are we going for strength in numbers? Stay silent and let the boss take the flack?" More silence.
"Well then, unless one of you speaks right now I'm going to fire the lot of you, right here on the spot. Then I'm going to go through each of your departments, find whoever did this and fire them, and then fire one tenth of staff just to prove a point, you load of back-stabbing, cock-sucking, LIBERAL..."
"Sammie, please calm down," that was Jules Frokost. He and Sammie went way back, Frokost formerly coaching her as a player at Exton. He was honest and dependable, and she didn't seriously consider him as the rogue staff member. She quietly seethed, waiting for him to continue,
"Look, it didn't come from any of us, alright? It had to have had people on the inside to publish this bid but it was not a second tier executive decision." The second tier of the IFA was those four positions, occupied by the people sat in front of her, and as their name stated, they were second in command, only to Sammie, the Chairman herself.
"Well, what do you suggest we do now? We don't have the money for this sort of operation, but we can't back out now?"
"Voting hasn't happened yet, we could still never host it."
"Yes well. The fact still stands that..." she was interrupted by her phone. Looking down at it she frowned, grimaced, apologised to them and took the call,

"Hello! John! Yes.... Yes indeed we did... I know, it was all a bit of a whirlwind, came together very quickly... Yes... Yes... Of course, the APX is the biggest in Apox, it would play a leading role... That's, that's very kind of you... Hahahaha stop it you... Yes... Ok, thank you... Yep... Yep... Bye John, take care." She hung up. Four confused but eager faces were looking at her,
"That was, that was John Marquist," the four faces became grave, "Owner of Dwile Warriors as I'm sure you're all aware. He was, he was surprised that he hadn't been consulted about the bid, but was keen to get behind it, said it was exactly what this country needed to get back on its feet. Insisted the APX would have a big role to play."
"So it might not be so bad after all then?" asked Alaria with her anxious, quick-paced speech. "Because I'm going to have a hell of a time spinning this positive I'm telling you that, I just can't..." She was silenced by Sammie's phone ringing again. The same routine, she looked down, frowned, grimaced, apologised and picked up the phone,
"Cath! Good to hear from you, what's up?... Yes.... Yes.... Yes he did.... I know, very quick isn't he, eh?.... Yes.... Well, I'm glad you think that.... Well I can't confirm anything but the Barbaria will definitely feature aye.... Yes.... Yes, if you organise a time with my PA we'll get something sorted.... Alright, yep.... Bye, take care." More confused faces looking at her from across the table,
"And?" offered Hans,
"Well, that was Cath Earhart, yes owner of Gwinevra Barbarians Jules, she phoned, once again to express surprise over the bid being published, but she was glad it had been, and she wants the Barbaria to host a significant part."
"Well that's not so bad then." said Jules, measuredly.
"You know what Jules, maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all..." mused Sammie, before quickly retorting, "but if this ever happens again you're all fired."

LEG 0-2 APX
LEG: Not provided
APX: Steele -- Beck (Fox 69'), Raynerson, Jekyll (c), Redmond -- Menheniot (Bridges 75') -- Townsend (Ingersleben 70'), Ibrox, Benzari -- Arrowsmith, Palmisano L.

Another convincing 2-0 win for Apox, this time against group minnows Legatorum, with a weakened B side played for this game to give the other players a chance to stake their claim in the side. Imhotep Jekyll was handed the captains armband in the absence of both James Palmisano and Alpha Gandhi, and he played well, the now established central defensive pairing keeping any Legatorum efforts well away form goal. Winston Arrowsmith scored the opener in the 12th minute, before Zana Ibrox got the second four minutes later. The game largely fizzled out a bit after that. Onwards, to the next test!

[Drawkland]

IAROCAV
The immortal leader of Drawkland is one of the most famous figures of Sonnel. Indeed, Iarocav may be one of the most influential people to ever grace the multiverse, at least his corner of it. Leading Drawkland to its inception, through many wars, and to where it stands today, the nation would likely be lost to time without his efforts protecting it, through political, spiritual, and metaphysical strife.
Only decades away from his 5000th birthday, Iarocav's dreams are populated by him having faint visions of the future or reliving memories of his past. During the 78th World Cup, for whatever reason,
the First Drawkian begins to relive his childhood and ascent to the leadership of Drawkland, way back in the more ancient times. What follows is an account of these dreams.

It had been a year since Sirvatal had given that fateful address atop the balcony on his keep. Sadeg was still thriving alive and well, and Hellenmack hadn't made any aggressive advances in that long stretch of time, however it seemed it was starting to heat up again. Of course nobody could speak for what the minds in Hellenmack were thinking concerning Sadeg, but as far as Iarocav and his fellow citizens were concerned, it was business as usual.

Well, sort of. With the one year since Sirvatal's leave date only 2 weeks away, not even a messenger had been sent back to the kingdom in any sort of confirmation of the king's success or failure. Thus,
preparations had begun. Iarocav and Charlolad, over the past year, had been busy helping Taykonna script copies of the most important sections of the book which held the procedures for the tournament. They created flyers of sorts, and nailed them in important spots all around town. Iarocav, intending to enter the tournament despite Charlolad's indignant outbursts against the (rather dangerous) idea, had studied the book inside in out. He had to know every rule, every potential strategy. After all, it could be the difference between victory and defeat.

The "flyers" they'd made specified that anybody willing to enter had to go to the kingdom's scribe, who lived in the main keep, to have their name written down. With only 64 entrants, it was on a first-come, first-served basis, and Iarocav made sure he was one of the first to get his name down. In fact, once he knew the scribe was ready to start taking names he immediately went to get his name down, despite the fact that he'd only hung half the flyers at that point. He was told that he was Entrant #7. He wondered who the other six were, and how they could've possibly gotten there before him. Oh well, he thought, it's not like it will really matter.

Of course, once the flyers were hung near the barracks, all the slots were almost immediately filled up due to all the soldiers wanting to take part. After all, they were the best at fighting, and so a hand-to-hand combat tournament to become the new king? Sounded like a fantastic plan to them. Iarocav asked the scribe once all the 64 entrants were confirmed. Only 4 of the entrants were civilians ... all the rest were military, either normal soldiers or officers, like Iarocav. Despite the fact that officers were older and less physical than the foot soldiers, there were actually more officers entered in the running. Iarocav heard later in the coming weeks that most officers had demanded none of their patrols or units enter to ensure they'd have space, and many others convinced the normal soldiers that leading the kingdom, while extravagant, would be much more work than just sitting around all day.

Iarocav entered the library 3 days before the tournament was set to start. Taykonna was busy, poring over a massive piece of parchment on his desk. Charlolad looked over the paper too, consulting a small stack of papers in her hand.

"What's this about?" Iarocav asked, smiling as he walked up the stairs.
"The scribe was too lazy to do this himself, so he made us do it. We're constructing the bracket for the tournament," Taykonna said simply, inking a name into a slot.
"I see," said Iarocav, "He's making you do the scheduling too?"
"Of course he is. Apparently all he can really do is write," chortled Charlolad, and Iarocav smirked in agreement.
"Of course, this is meant to be impartial, so unfortunately, I can't give you a simple path to become king," Taykonna said humorously, despite there being no humor apparent in his voice.
"I wouldn't want a simple path. I want to prove myself by defeating the hardest out there."
"Remember that you'll have to face 3 at once if you want to do that," Charlolad huffed. She was right. It wasn't a traditional 64-person single-elimination bracket. It was actually split up into 4 sections of 16, and the winners of all 4 sections were due to face off against each other all at once, in a 1v1v1v1 fight. At least there was no killing allowed, still.
"You know me. I'll simply dance around until they all beat each other senseless, and then of course I'll just waltz right in to a win when they're too walloped to properly take me down."
"If they're good enough to defeat 4 of Sadeg's best, they'll certainly be smart enough to avoid something of that sort. You'd be lucky to even get there, think." Taykonna replied dryly. "Now, are you going to help us here, or are you going to continue to be distracting? Get the book and look up the page with the seeding 'algorithm' they put in place."
"Yes, sir," Iarocav responded, and he did what he was told.

3 days later and the day had come. In the military area of the castle, there had always been a sort of arena. It was mainly done for some sparring or for giving commands in large groups, but now it was to play a stage to the fights. It was square, with a sand and dirt surface. Perhaps it was 25 yards each side, but it was built long before anybody gave a shit about exact measurements. Somebody once said that it was 77 feet total. Nobody could say for sure. The fighting floor was surrounded by a brown wood wall, perhaps 7 feet in height, and then a grandstand in every direction extended, with 10 rows on each side. Brown wood benches and stairs were pretty much all the "grandstands" really were, but they could still probably seat almost a thousand spectators. This would pretty much cover any of the military personnel who were interested in watching, but with the civilian interest and the fact that somebody had to be guarding the kingdom at some point, there was plenty of space for non-military people to get a seat. One of the grandstands backed up to the inside of a castle wall as well, and many of the later citizens and personnel decided to view from up and afar. On the opposite side from the wall, there was a skinny, shortish tower, where there were several observation rooms. The equivalent of medieval luxury boxes, if you will. In the topmost room, there were two men, Taykonna and Mandorren, the former of which was mainly there to check for rule violations, and the latter who was the interim ruler of Sadeg who Sirvatal appointed. He was mainly looking to see if the fighters had true leadership potential.

The fights were set to go until a fighter was unconscious, held in a lethally prone position (such as unarmed, laying down, a sword held at the neck), or forfeited the match voluntarily, before or during the fight. Inside the tower room where Taykonna and Mandorren stood, there was a medium-sized bell. Once the fight was presumed over, one of them would ring the bell to signify the fight is over.
Redonak, Iarocav's old mentor, was also to be present on the floor of the arena, where he would also check for violations and official start, stop, or pause a match. Nobody knew how long fights would last, but based on practice sparring by some soliders, it was expected that they could probably fit a dozen or so within a day. After all, people still needed to get work done.

Iarocav was set to fight on the first day. He didn't know who his opponent was. Well, he'd heard his name before. Randiput. All Iarocav knew was that because he was the youngest entrant of the tournament (or "most foolish," according to Redonak), he'd been paired with the oldest entrant. He went down to the armory, where there were some aides who were instructed to help all entrants prepare. Iarocav insisted on simply using his own Corporal armor he'd been given in his ceremony many months ago, along with the helmet he was supposed to use in combat (he'd never had to wear it before then, and when sparring, he'd use a simple practice helmet for fear of breaking his real one). It was lighter than the general armor prescribed by the book and the aides, but Iarocav felt more comfortable with it. He took the sword that he'd also gotten at his ceremony, which was pretty close to what they'd suggested he use. It may be a waste to possibly break this fancy armor now, he thought to himself, but this may be the most important series of battles in his life anyway.

Once he was ready, he walked from the armory to the arena. The bell had just rang out, and the previous match had ended. He waited silently, in the tunnel under the grandstand, until he was supposed to walk into the arena. He could feel his heart beating quickly in anticipation. He remembered what Redonak had told him years before to calm his nerves. He closed his eyes and slowed his breathing. Slower breaths, and his heart seemed to calm down. For a second, it almost felt that he was drifting off ...

---

Iarocav woke up, his eyes squinting open to the view of his wife across from him in the covers. She had woken up a few moments earlier.
"Morning, sweetie," he said simply, as he got out of bed. She followed suit on the other side. They looked out of the window. It wasn't a sight of beautiful Drawkian forests to behold, instead, it was a wide ocean below. The couple, instead of staying at home, decided to take an airship ride through Rushmore to Pasarga. The Pasarga-Drawkland match was set to be the most important of their campaign, and if the Kick Corps was going to qualify, they were going to have to defeat or tie Pasarga, even while playing on the road. Of course the Drawkian Couple had to be present in Stade de Torgos.
"What happened in the dream last night?" Meliauden asked, slipping out of her pajamas and into some patriotic clothes.
"It was cut off, I think. Basically led up right to the first tournament match, and then I woke up. Funny, considering how one of the most important matches there will end up being my dream the night after one of our most important matches in this soccer cycle."
"You're an insufferable nerd," she replied, and she left the room with a chuckle and an affectionate shove on Iarocav.
"Got me there," he called down the hallway, as he too changed into clothes. He looked out on the horizon in the window. Land started to appear. Hopefully it was Pasarga and they could dock soon. Airship rides were a Drawkian staple, but Iarocav always enjoyed walking about much more. He wondered if he'd be able to get the airship to circle around the stadium during the match, perhaps get some media on there to get aerial shots, while he was in a box viewing the game.
"Good luck to the Corps indeed," he muttered to himself, and he walked out of the bedroom suite, closing the door behind him.

[Schottia]

The North Handon Way

Part Three.

Desdemona.

Gary prodded the letter with the tip of his garden cane, keeping a safe distance as he flipped it over to inspect the other side. He delivered a couple more stabs for good measure before reading the return address. It wasn't very often he got letters of any description, let alone official looking ones.

Dyerton Stadium
22-26 Shore Road
Handon
Schottia
HA414 2

Port Sebastian! Gary was right to smell a rat, the blue Airmail sticker was a dead giveaway. What on earth did they want with him? Was in not enough that he left in disgrace ten years ago, came back and played against them for Marionville, then opted for a to sign for Chatswood rather than going back there for a second stint. What more did he have to do before they just left him alone? Burn the place down?

'I'm jolly well not opening it on an empty stomach.' Gary muttered to himself, as he placed a pot on the stove and poured in some porridge oats. This letter was a thorn in his side that needed addressing, but not at the expense of breakfast. It was the only blip on what would have otherwise been a perfect day. Gary was only just coming to realise what he had been missing all the years he had been an international footballer; these international breaks were wonderful. It seemed like an unjust system that the players not good enough to be called up to their national teams got all these extra holidays; Gary had a mind to complain to the Players' unions. If it weren't for that bloody letter, he'd have a whole afternoon of sitting under a tree with a good book to look forward to, and nothing else.

The letter had now sat on his table for a full twenty-four hours, and in all likelihood, it would sit a while longer still. There was no way it could be good news - and Gary could say that with certainty, given the fact that there was literally nothing anyone could have to say that he wanted to hear. He had tried to explain as much to Desdemona when she'd brought it round yesterday.

Since a pair of endangered dormice had taken up residence in his mailbox at the top of the hill, his teammate Desdemona Schuster had been dropping round his post once a week. After an environmental standards agency had deemed it would be unlawful to disturb the breeding pair, he had no choice but to have his mail redirected to her house. (Actually that wasn't strictly true, he could have erected another mailbox, but that would have cost time and money.) As a result, the poor girl was left carrying his ass off the pitch as well as on it. Gary generally didn't keep any cash in the hut, knowing it to be an evil capitalist construct. Therefore, the only means he had to pay for this personal courier service was by offering half a dozen eggs, or the odd jar of honey.

Thank god for Schuster. One of those underappreciated players; an underappreciated person for that matter. She was one of those midfielders Gary loved playing alongside, basically doing all of the work, while he took all of the credit.* The worst part of all was the fact that Gary had made the First Division Team of The Year, while she had not. That was life, wasn't it? Some people could put in all the effort they like and they got nothing in return. Gary knew this only too well. It was like sitting on a bike, peddling like fuck, and only realising at the end that the chain had never been connected up to the gears.

Gary shifted while he laboured away at the hob, turning his back in the letter. Just knowing it was in his hut - the feeling that the outside world had penetrated his sanctum - was like parasites boring into his flesh. Desdemona had offered to open it for him quickly, and read him the contents as fast as she could. It would be like ripping off a sticky plaster she'd said. Gary had given it some serious thought, but in the end was forced to decline on the grounds that he didn't remove literal plasters that way, let alone metaphorical ones. Soaking the offended item in some warm water while prising it off bit by bit was his preferred method, and he would find a similar method to deal with the letter.

After his porridge had cooked, he drizzled on a little of his own fresh honey and took it down to the river, finding a nice sunny spot to usher in the day. It was that magical time of day, just as the sun rose enough to creep across the valley floor. Gary removed his sandals, and dipped his toes into the water, which glittered with the sun's rays. He gave an involuntary snort of laughter as he looked down at his feet, beneath the surface, thinking how ridiculous it was that Chatswood had once paid eight million for them. As Desdemona had reminded him the other week at training, Chloe had only gone Athletic for six.

'Having some porridge Gary?'

The footballer just about dropped the bowl into the river in fright, as Stick's head rose from behind some bulrushes. What the hell was the Newcomer doing down here at this time in the morning?

Gary held the bowl up in a way that that said: What else. 'Morning Stick.' He couldn't hide the annoyance in his voice at being disturbed. 'I see you're up bright and early.'

'Yes, welll... Just up actually.' Stick smiled as he pulled himself up to his full height. 'It was really warm last night, and well... I thought I would sleep down here by the river, just to see what it was like, you know?'

'Yes...' Gary shook his head as he tucked into another spoonful of porridge, his teeth giving a couple of undercooked oats some extra attention.

'That looks nice, that does.' Stick nodded over. 'That porridge you're eating.' Stick was dressed in and atrociously fitting, handmade felt shirt that seemed to be hanging off him. He also wore trousers that looked like they had been sewn together from an old pair or curtains. His hair at least backed-up his claim that he had in fact slept rough, as it was sprinkled with leaves, twigs, and bits of dried grass.

'It is yes.' Gary took another mouthful.

'Where did you get that bowl, it looks new.' Stick continued with his line of questioning, descending through the rushes to the edge of the river, like a wildebeest approaching its watering hole.

What was this, twenty-questions? Gary glanced down at it before replying. 'It's handmade, carved from a single piece of wood.'

'Did you carve it yourself?'

'No.'

'What kind of wood is it made from?'

'I'm not sure.'

'Is it easy enough to clean?'

'You clean it like any other bowl.'

Stick stood there nodding impressed little nods. 'Is that, like, a traditional Schottic way of eating porridge?'

Gary sighed in defeat. 'Listen, why don't you come across and have a look at it?' He said getting to his feet and slipping his sandals back on. As a rule, the Newcomers never crossed into Gary's half of the river uninvited, but it didn't stop them fishing for invites. Especially Stick, who clearly considered Gary a friend, was not opposed to pushing his luck. With a trample and a splash he was into the water and across the over side, no doubt frightening all manner or amphibians.

'That's a really beautiful one, I love the, eh, marbling effect in the wood.' Stick crouched down on his haunches and peered at it closely. 'And a carved horn spoon, very nice indeed.' After his curiosity had been satisfied, he plonked himself down on the tuffet next to Gary. 'So who was that girl that was round yesterday?'

'I beg your pardon?' Gary kept his gaze directed down into the bowl.

'The girl; the girl girl, the one who came round to your hut.' Gary could feel Stick was studying his reaction closely, so deliberately gave him nothing. 'I saw you showing her round the garden...' Stick leaned in a little closer '...including your strawberries.'

'She is a colleague, okay, just dropping off some post!' Gary knew exactly what Stick was getting at. Gary's soft fruits were his pride and joy, and of those, the strawberries were the jewel in the crown. Very few people got to go near them, and there was a rumour amongst the Newcomers that Gary had every one of them counted. 'You know fine well I've been having problems with dormice, Stick, so don't you go banding around indecent insinuations.' He shot the Newcomer a look before finishing the last scrapings from his bowl. 'Loose lips sink ships.' Fuck! That was the wrong turn of phrase, but it was out now. With any luck Stick would just be confused.

'Okay, sorry.' Stick sat back and folded his arms. 'All I'm saying was, you two were out there a long time.' Gary wasn't taking the bait, and was already back on his feet. 'Is she a good footballer?'

'No. Eh, yes, I think so.' Gary shooed Stick with his hands, while nudging him in the back with his toe. 'Anyway get up, and hop back over to your side. I'm not feeling particularly sociable, and I have a busy day planned.' By busy he meant he needed to do a little weeding, and work out how to open that letter.

'Yeah, of course, no worries Gary.' Stick slid down from his tuffet, and back into the stream. 'And thanks - for - letting me look at your bowl.'

'Don't mention it.'

'Oh yeah.' Stick stopped just as he was about to mount the banking on the other side. 'I nearly forgot to say. That woman is coming round again tonight, I can't remember her name, the one who gave us that tutorial on felt making.' He pointed to the chaotic looking shirt he was wearing, as if it were somehow a positive advert. 'She's a friend of Yogic Dave. It's usually a bit of fun, we have a few homebrew ciders, a bit of a laugh. We thought you might have been interested.' Stick smiled. 'You could even bring your lass with you..?'

Gary raised an eyebrow in reply. 'Nice try Stick.' He tuned off and marched back towards the hut. 'I'll perhaps make an appearance, I'll need to see how I get on with my afternoon chores.'

Okay, so that was nine hours to open one letter, surely even Gary couldn't fail at that.

---

*Gary Corise's options and perceptions, as always, must be taken with a large pinch of salt.