The streets of Bellator
14 June
14 June
It had been ugly. It had been grueling. It had been close to a disaster if not for the penalty that forced penalties.
Acapais had levelled late in regulation time and took the lead early in extra time. They had almost gone through to the final if not for Amado Lucio tripping Emma in the box. With four minutes to spare, Soltsteed made it 4–4 and forced a penalty shoot-out, true Soltsteedish bread and butter.
The Soltsteedish contingent went nuts when Ferdinand saved David Harper’s penalty attempt. 3–1 with no way for Acapais to catch up. The former Cup of Harmony champions had fallen. Celebrating fans made a rush to scoop up every forkdog available in the city of Bellator for a makeshift toast to the Stallions’ comeback.
Medals were a guaranteed prize for Soltsteed and hugs went all around on the bus as the team headed back to the hotel. With police and hotel staff nervous about another potential assault, a cordon had been set up to prevent any repeats of the sausage roll incident. But this time, the sausage rolls were celebratory, a toast to a team that so nearly crashed out in the group stage and a slap to the ultras who protested the Anglophone presence that had helped the team get this far.
An unfortunate valet would be subjected to the raucous cheers and celebrations of a national team and their supporters celebrating what was possibly their biggest scalp yet, recoiling at the cheers of twenty-five foreigners who had simply been happy to make it to the semis. How the hell am I going to park that bus?
The squad and staff filed into the lobby of the hotel the team had been staying at for their Bellator matches. “We’ll save the alcohol for after the final,” the manager told the squad. “We’ve still got a final to play. We’re back to Kayo in the morning, so get some sleep.”
But there was to be little sleep in the midst of the celebrations. The symbolic importance of each match was quickly escalating. The only thing that could be sweeter than taking out the team who dealt you a loss in the opening match or taking out a former WCC tournament winner would be the trophy itself.
The Beet
Inside the strange rise of the mysterious nation of Solsteed, surprise BoF finalists
Soltsteeders wake up to a surprise as the Stallions are replaced by an unknown force in the SPAWK final
Kayo, Drawkaland — Soltsteeders woke up to a massive surprise this morning as they found themselves unceremoniously kicked out of the final they had just presumably qualified for.
According to press in Aggreyfynnland, their national team will face a strange nation in the final: the suspiciously-named “Solsteed”. Little is known of this mysterious nation. No roster has been released by its football association and no records of its existence are even known, with the World Assembly’s World Census collectively shrugging their shoulders when asked for details of Solsteed’s existence by The Beet.
But according to reports, the team has the same roster as the Stallions and played the same schedule with the same results, from losing their opening game to Loynn—whom they later knocked out in a quarterfinal rematch—to knocking Acapais out on penalties. The team, also nicknamed “the Stallions”, play in the same red-and-black hoops as the real Stallions, except when required to change, when they use the same white shirts as Soltsteed.
“It is humiliating to fight for a place in the final and then find it suddenly ripped away from you,” Soltsteedish substitute defender Jean Peterssen told The Beet in an interview. “We fought long and hard to get to this point and now we’ve been replaced by these complete unknowns? What is this, a joke?”
The two nations will face off in Kayo, a city apparently located in Drawkaland. Like Solsteed, there is no record of Drawkaland’s existence, putting their eligibility to host the tournament in doubt. According to the constitution of the World Cup Committee, the body in charge of the Baptism of Fire tournament, nations must have previously taken part in World Cup qualifying to host a WCC-sanctioned tournament.
“I was surprised to say the least,” a spokesperson for WCC President Markus Rensenbrink told The Beet. “I swear we didn’t misspell any nation’s name when we sent out the bulletin starting the vote.”
The Drawkland FA were also stunned by the revelation. When told of the news, a spokesperson for the Drawkland FA reportedly muttered “That explains why no one’s been showing up to the matches.”
Of course, this could all just be a massive typo, but what is truly more likely? Who can attempt to type the word “Soltsteed” six times and screw it up in exactly the same way each time. So we’ll see you in Drawkaland as Solsteed faces Aggreyfynnland for the title, while the hosts secretly attempt to swipe the trophy while no one is looking. —TB
According to press in Aggreyfynnland, their national team will face a strange nation in the final: the suspiciously-named “Solsteed”. Little is known of this mysterious nation. No roster has been released by its football association and no records of its existence are even known, with the World Assembly’s World Census collectively shrugging their shoulders when asked for details of Solsteed’s existence by The Beet.
But according to reports, the team has the same roster as the Stallions and played the same schedule with the same results, from losing their opening game to Loynn—whom they later knocked out in a quarterfinal rematch—to knocking Acapais out on penalties. The team, also nicknamed “the Stallions”, play in the same red-and-black hoops as the real Stallions, except when required to change, when they use the same white shirts as Soltsteed.
“It is humiliating to fight for a place in the final and then find it suddenly ripped away from you,” Soltsteedish substitute defender Jean Peterssen told The Beet in an interview. “We fought long and hard to get to this point and now we’ve been replaced by these complete unknowns? What is this, a joke?”
The two nations will face off in Kayo, a city apparently located in Drawkaland. Like Solsteed, there is no record of Drawkaland’s existence, putting their eligibility to host the tournament in doubt. According to the constitution of the World Cup Committee, the body in charge of the Baptism of Fire tournament, nations must have previously taken part in World Cup qualifying to host a WCC-sanctioned tournament.
“I was surprised to say the least,” a spokesperson for WCC President Markus Rensenbrink told The Beet. “I swear we didn’t misspell any nation’s name when we sent out the bulletin starting the vote.”
The Drawkland FA were also stunned by the revelation. When told of the news, a spokesperson for the Drawkland FA reportedly muttered “That explains why no one’s been showing up to the matches.”
Of course, this could all just be a massive typo, but what is truly more likely? Who can attempt to type the word “Soltsteed” six times and screw it up in exactly the same way each time. So we’ll see you in Drawkaland as Solsteed faces Aggreyfynnland for the title, while the hosts secretly attempt to swipe the trophy while no one is looking. —TB
