Games of the XII Olympiad - Roleplay Thread

[Kelssek]

Cutoff

[Teremaran Olympics Delegation]

FSIS Blacksite 1-A
Somewhere off the coast of Falkasia…

“Zis iz it monsieur,” a lab-coated man mumbled, motioning through a pane of clear windows. “Vee have done eht!”

Andrei stood back, making sure to keep a bench between himself and the viewing port.

“You’ve done what?” He asked the Gaul, uncharacteristic worry penetrating his voice.

“Can you noht see vhat vee have done? Vee have veaponized sports!!”

The FSIS Director shook his head left-to-right slowly. “You’re kind of taking this whole foreign mad scientist character a bit far, aren’t you?”

“Non, monsieur! Vee are not! Vee have successfully veaponized sports! Behold!”

He turned towards the windows. Inside was a test dummy, wrapped in a contour-defining spandex garment. Red and blue stripes, complete with a yellow seal, adorned the suit.

“I geeve you… ze Tracksuit Mark… er… Un!”

Reaching down, he seized a small remote-control like device from the window sill. With a single press of a button, the entire room immolated with fire from a concealed jet turbine. A second later, the halogen filled the room and the torrent of fire was sealed back up. While the tracksuit remained, the mannequin was nowhere to be seen.

“Errr…” The scientist began, unsure of how to proceed. “I sink he must have run away!”

He turned to his side and raised his wrist up to his mouth.

“Dr. Thibideau requesting clean-up in Observation Theatre one,” he whispered, casting a watchful glance towards the FSIS Director.

“As I said… is still a prototype, oui? Ze main goal is to perfect a flame-retardant tracksuit for our athletes. Ve must give zem zee edge in high-stakes track meets! Obviously the tracksuit iz not zee issue, but zee occupant. We must perfect a flame-retardant human… zis is our next step! Mais oui, suivez s’il vous plaît!”

Andrei had no words. Rather, he blankly followed the Doctor with mouth agape. The enxt observation room was only a few steps away.

“Oui… ici. Theatre deux. Here, ve see our next world-shattering invention! I call it… zee Controlled Rocket-Assisted Pole… or C.R.A.P. if you will. I intend to furnish all of our vinning Olympic athletes with zees babies! Attendez!”

He turned once again towards the plexiglass and tapped a button on his remote. Andrei was sure to stand behind him, using the Gaul as an impromptu human shield in case anything went wrong.

Inside the carbon-lined room, a mannequin was poised with a robotic arm, grasped within the hand serve was a pole vaulting pole. Only. instead of a traditional stick, a solid-fuel rocket thruster was attached to end.

“Watch!”

The arm raised itself into a carrying position, pole perched over the shoulder and ready to land a vault. The rocket fired in an instant, exploding forward as the robotic arm was ripped clean from the mannequin. Both arm and pole careened forward into the wall, impacting it and burying themselves several inches. A second later, the motor detonated in a blinding flash.

All Andrei and Dr. Thibideau saw were the assorted dismembered mannequin limbs smacking into the viewport like a C-list slasher film.

“Vell... I did not realize zee human arm was so veak... D'acc...” Thibideau mumbled under his breath, promptly turning on his heel to face a flabbergasted FSIS Director.

“I had a shird prototype to show you, mais… I don’t sink it is wise yet. Too premature.” He conceded.

“What the fuck am I funding?” Andrei asked, barely getting the words out through his agape mouth.

“I suppose zen zat ve vill noht be getting any additional funds?”

The FSIS Director threw both of his hands up and turned to leave.

“Why don’t you just make a tracksuit made of Dinars? How can we lose if the competition is constantly tripping over the locals scrambling to literally get a piece of the action!!!” He concluded, his voice droning deeper and deeper as he stomped down the hall.

“Attend.... Zis geevs me an idear!”

RP courtesy of Falkasia.

[Kalosia]

Kalosia u l'Olimpiade
Official coverage of the XII Olympic Games by Lë Punto Kuotidianu

A Bad Start to Badminton?

Today was the first match day for the Men's Singles category of Badminton, and two Kalosian athletes — Nathan Zola and Rian Kruž — competed.

Nathan (competing under his real name Natanael Zola) was drawn to compete in Group 11. He played against Tommy Watson from Schottia but unfortunately was defeated in both rounds and is last in group standings.

Rian, meanwhile was due to play in Group 14. He went up against Peter P Larry from Britonisea but unfortunately lost as well to his opponent, and is now joint last with Quebec's Marius JB Reiber in group standings.

Is this a bad omen of what's to come? Or perhaps, as they say, when you reach the bottom the only way is up? What you can do is continue to support our athletes' journey in Kelssek and Vekaiyu — stay tuned as it unfolds!

[West Phoenicia]

The biggest highlight of Day 12 for West Phoenicia occured at the Sobranoc Corporation Bowl which had the men's water polo quarter finals. The West Phoenician Mermen came up against Eastfield Lodge where the current Water Polo International Championships winners The Mermen won the day 11-7. Pushing them forward into the semi finals.

The four teams competiting in the Semi-Finals will consist of West Phoenicia, Taeshan, Kelssek and Vekaiyu. Four powerhouses nations each competiting for the number 1 spot. With the hosts nations in contention and with a much large fan base and home venue advantage, West Phoenicia is gearing up for a tight battle. Which many sports fan predict will have Taeshan and West Phoenicia duking it out for the bronze medal.

Optimistic fans however are hopeful that the Mermen who cannot be intimidated may come out on top in the semis and move forward to the final. Its a strong team better than they have been in years and while out numbered in the stands they see themselves as David against the Goliath nations.

A team win would certainly boost morale after a horrible show by both West Phoenician basketball teams and what looks like to be a repeat performance by the mens handballwho have pretty much given up there chance to progress , a win by the Mermen will show its not just West Phoenician Individual athletes who win but teams too.

Meanwhile West Phoenician Swimming Marathon athletes are in an uproar with the West Phoenician Olympic Committee due to an administrative error that saw all of them left off the sign ups. Mona Hobson who was signalled out to pull a medal was on the verge of tears as she headed to the airport to fly home. Mona Hobson has suggested this may be enough to even pull her from the West Phoenician Confederate Games later this year.


Men's Long Jumper Guy Bush is in with a chance after qualifying something which many West Phoenicians are doing at these games only to be pipped at the post during finals. Final pressure is what is should be labeled as. They put their heart and soul into the qualifiers and the semis than they under perform when it comes to the race that matters.

His Long Jump co athlete Gaius True-Path faired far worse. He arrived at the competition late after a heavy night on the town. And was side lined for the qualifiers after it was ruled he would not be eligible to attempt any jumps.

The Badminton Men’s doubles had a very unique day with both men's double groups winning their matches. While Toan Le was doing his best to ensure West Phoenician progression in the Badminton Men's singles.

The women's doubles were however failing to live up to their end. Many in West Phoenicia see Badminton as an important sport. Looked down upon by the upper elite members of society.
60% of the badminton team are children of emigrated parents whose home nation supported Badminton. While West Phoenicia did have some success in the UM Summer games, there were far less teams involved which gave West Phoenicia an opportunity to shine. With so much talent sports pundits predict only Toan Le, an older veteran of the sport to progress beyond qualifiers.


Hannah Iowa and Mia Le Percy of the Canoeing (Slalom) - Women’s C-2 had a remarkable day. Whilst placing 4th it was a far better performance than yester years. And both women should be very proud of how far they have advanced.

Prince Owen Gryphon is another West Phoenician to watch out for. The 17 year old breezed through round 1 and 2 of the Cycling - Men’s Sprint and he is in line to ride for a medal. A second medal win in Cycling would be amazing as he would join Eve Central who won bronze in the  Women's individual sprint. A gold or silver in Cycling would give The West Phoenician Cycling Federation the sway it needs to demand more financial support.
The finals will be held on Day 13 so West Phoenicians wait with baited breath that the lull in gold and silver medal placings these last few days may be over

[Electrum]

Centralis Herald - Sports Section - Jane McNamara

Electrumite artistic gymnastics program: strength to strength?

Could this finally be the year that Electrum breaks through the team competition of the gymnastics? It's an unlikely hope, but one that is still very much possible, and goes to show how far the Electrumite gymnastics program has progressed throughout the years. In Aeropag, the men's team didn't make the final, and the women's team came in dead last in the finals. This time things are looking better with both teams qualifying above expectations, however with powerhouse teams like Eastfield Lodge and Taeshan in the hunt, it does seem unlikely that Electrum will be able to nab any medals at all in the final round of the teams event. Instead, what the Electrumite team is focusing on at the moment is on the individual medals.

On the women's side of the competition, Edwina Matthews and Linda Pomeranz have qualified for the individual events. For Pomeranz, who's been in the business for quite a while now, this will probably be her last hurrah. After saying that she was going to retire at the end of Aeropag, she has decided to give one more go at the Olympics before she will finally call it quits. After winning medals in a diverse range of events from vault, floor and individual events, she is an all-rounder who is versatile. Pomeranz has also qualified for the vault and beam finals as well. For Matthews, it is about proving herself: she is part of the next generation of Electrumite gymnastic talent and has also looked up to Pomeranz for inspiration. Unlike other individual sports, because there is a team component as well, all of the girls train as one team, giving tips and advice to each other - perhaps Matthews can draw on Pomeranz's wisdom before she herself competes in the uneven bars and the beam. Dawn Goodman rounds out the list of individual female athletes to make it to a final, scoring the highest score on the floor routine. Goodman prefers playing classical music in her floor routine, a marked contrast to what Pomeranz usually does, which is to play the latest pop music. It will be interesting to see how her routine goes.

Meanwhile over on the men's side of the competition, Gary Cook and Cory Rhodes are the two star athletes, being the anchors of the team and being the two that have qualified in the individual competitions. They have also both made the individual all-around event. Cory Rhodes, the more experienced gymnast, also made the horizontal bar final, his pet event. In the same event last year he came in fourth place, after an almost technically perfect performance, but because the difficulty was a bit low, he wasn't able to make full advantage of his precision. This year, he will attempt to perform a more difficult routine to pair with his good execution. Meanwhile, Gary Cook is the revelation of this year's competition: after not managing to do well at all in the last Olympic Games, he has managed to qualify in not just the all-around but also the pommel horse and the still rings, being Electrum's first ever entrant in those competitions. He is managing to hold up despite the nerves, telling me quickly that, "I'm relishing the opportunity to do well," before disappearing for more training behind closed doors.

Gymnastics manager Arthur Carroll (also former coach for the Electrumite Basketball team) credits the improvement in the gymnastics program not to increased funding but rather, "The increased level of player development - we've been able to develop new techniques to condition our athletes, especially their core muscles, which in hindsight was obvious, and also a pair of sports psychologists who help our athletes through competitions. I think that will give us the edge over other nations." This may very well be the start of a new sport we may specialise in.

[Mattijana]

Meanwhile...

"Man what's that stink?" Exclaimed Riko Salazar

"Probably the West Phoencians again" replied Katija Alazic. "This is the sweat with a side of garlic breath variety, but I'd be grateful if I were you because they had extra strength Horse crud on yesterday afternoon and I can still smell it now."

"Makes me want to spend less time in here than I already do. I hate hangin around like this for an event. It's like they want me to get up to something..."

"Don't even think about it. You're an athlete now. Your coach will go mad"

Riko Salazar, the BMX cyclist, is and will probably always be remembered for his water-balloon antics during the Aeropag Olympics. But a series of good results in the world BMX series had left him as one of the medal contenders. The combination of ability and off-track character had earned him a massive public profile and there were more home and foreign journalists watching him than ever before.

"I know, but this is hella boring. At least you can put your feet up a bit now you're done."

"Oh I don't know about that. I've got to keep my legs going. Some of the cycling round here isn't bad either. Some proper slopes. Not that you know what they are..."

Riko didn't take the bait.

"Do you do anything else but cycle?"

"I make muffins."

"I'd have your muffins any day baby."

"You cheeky bastard."

"This is what days of nothing does to you Kati"

Katija sighed. Riko was a talented rider, but he was always pushing the line between characterfullness and immaturity.

"The swimming pool isn't bad down here. Head down there maybe. I'm on a ride tomorrow morning, but I might pop down later."

"You could run afterwards you know. Do the triathlon next Olympics."

"Very funny. I'm a useless swimmer though, so don't expect to see me in a bikini for too long if that's what you're after."

"Oh you know me. See ya then."

"Damn right I do." Said Katija under her breath. The intelligent part of her brain hoped that the pair never ended up in the swimming pool complex at the same time. The stupid, still teenage girl part of her hoped she did for no discernible reason.

[Kriegiersien]

Gymnastics


Elfchen, after gracefully ending on the Floor.


Aires after failing on the Floor.

Aires qualified for 3 events, elegant star Elfchen only for 2. But there couldn't be a bigger difference between newcomer Aires and multiple medal winner and star Elfchen, who was once the scared young thing of the team and is now a grande dame. Still gracefull and small, while Aires (not related with the Archer) is the new generation of strong and driven Gymnasts.
Together they led the team into the final, with the other stars only as backup, leaving especially Ulan Batur frustrated.
“It is time that Kriegiersien relies on a younger, bigger generation. The old stars won't hold up for all time, they are missing the hunger that is needed”, reminded Aires the reporters.


Badminton

Petra MUller ist the leader of the team and until now is the only one to hold up the expectations, winning in the singles and even with her double partner Crystal Meth.
Interesting was the draw of Karsten Netsrak and Norbert Nappo in one group. It could well be that it is the only chance for a win of a Kriegiersien in the men's singles, probably Nappo. After suffering from a Virus, Netsrak is playing with painkillers to not forfeit the matches.

Table Tennis

The day was a total disaster, except for one.
Esther Ada was the only one reaching the next round and surviving the first day. While the rest of the team altogether lost, the silver medal winner of Aeropag had no trouble to win in 4 sets.

[Blitzkeig]

VKL

An invitation to festivities

It is that time of year again where I, Hoho Nonon, chief executive officer of Havenssport have the pleasure of inviting the athletes of the multiverse to the greatest party that they will go to all year, and the best party for athletes anywhere; that's right, it's the Haven day Olympic village party, this time taking place in Novonaya!
The drinks are free, the music is loud; their will be people selling questionable substances, young ladies and gentlemen who are very willing to do questionable things, and unquestionably high quality food. Forget about the pressures of your event for a while and immerse yourself in the raucous action.
Some of the Haven's greatest music stars will be performing for your enjoyment, and all of the biggest names from Havenic sport and high society will be present; so don't think you're too good for this. Likewise, their'll be a few more shady characters, so don't think you're too bad! Meet at where the big green party sign will be held up by a stupidly-dressed member of the Havenic security staff in the centre of the Olympic village, and follow him to the greatest party of your lives. Entry is, of course, free.

[Kelssek]

Cutoff

[Teremaran Olympics Delegation]

Olympic Village
Provinsk, Vekaiyu

He walked into the small side room that was an offshoot of one of the cafeterias in the Olympic Village. It was very crowded around the Village, so the fact that his appointment could clear even this small a room spoke volumes. He sat down opposite the man who was becoming his main nemesis, nevermind the talented judo martial artists that had come to compete.

“You’re late.” Walther Liebsgott aka Walther Laubmann, the BND agent, sat digging into a big bowl of pasta.

Detlef Lingrau, the Austrakian judo competitor and unwilling spy recruit sauntered up and joined him at his lonely table.
“Well, I thought you were too busy pretending to be an upstanding sports official. I didn’t want to get in the way of your performance.”

“Detlef, I’m not going to even acknowledge such negative talk. I’m here for our country. Are you?”

“Yes, of course. And me and my family, Walther.”

“Your family that lives in our country. The Republik of Austrakia.”

“Yeah, okay. I get it.”

“I need to get back to my other duties. What do you have to report?”
Det glanced at him and down at his earnest work at making the pasta disappear. This fucker didn’t seem at all in a hurry to depart from his pasta bowl.

“The Gauls are ready to machine gun everybody. The Glisandians want everything to turn to ice. The Falkasians are super drunk on the Neu Engollians' beer, racing on the wrong track, and awaiting the delivery of medals they didn’t win. The Yellowsians are holding classes on Marxism...And the Gragastavians want to ride their camels over the whole mess.”

“Great. Now, when you’re done with your jokes, I want a real report.”

“What is there to tell? You see the reports the hosts release everyday? I haven’t overheard any salacious conversations. I’m trying, but they just don’t share anything, or they don’t care. As for military...Yeah, a few of the Neu Engollians did or are doing service in their militia. They got a waiver to compete. Really, seems more like they were pushed to do it from their home militia units for prestige. Although, everyone seems to be excited to compete. The Yellowsians have a lot of war vets, as you could imagine....They want to bring some glory back badly. All of that is tempered by the need for us all to cooperate with each other.”

“I see. Well, I will note all of that. I want you to continue to keep your eyes and ears open. Remember, we’re driving the success of the region here. Keep up the good work.”

Det fought to control his eyes from rolling.
“Yes sir, I think I can handle that.”

“Good. Keep on. I think there’s plenty of female athletes that are getting ready to compete for the day. Check in with them.”

“Yes...sir.”

"Good. Eat up."

Det was not really hungry. He shook his head and scooted away from the table and then stood up.
"Nah. I'm good right now. You keep carb loading for...your duties?"

Walther smiled that snake smile that he always used as a response to Det's sarcasm and went in for another forkful. With his other hand he gave a waving motion that Det could interpret as being dismissed. He didn't need a second indication. He made quickly for the door.

---

RP Courtesy of Austrakia

[West Phoenicia]

Guy Bush wins Gold for West Phoenicia

It took two Olympics and an Athletics Championships but West Phoenician Guy Bush has final completed what he set out to do.

The 30 year old from Upper West Phoenicia; West Phoenicia first appeared on international radors at the Aeropag Summer Olympic Games, where he first took part in the mens long jump. While he qualified at a West Phoenician level, the pressure and competition was too much and he finished with a ranking of 33.

Not one to wave the white flag of defeat, he was accepted to represent West Phoenicia in the Long Jump at the Athletics Championships in Krytenia. Guy Bush rose in the rankings qualifying for the finals where he picked up a bronze.

Returning to the current Olympics, he had one goal in sight. Outdo 33rd spot and try his damn hardest to beat his Bronze record.

In the qualifying round he ranked 6. Outdoing his previous Olympics ranking. Whilst a bundle of nerves on his second jump he was able to secure an 8.24, the best of the day and a distance no other athlete was able to go up against.
With a gold medal to add to his collection, and wanting to go out while still on top. Reporters have asked Guy Bush if he will retire or will he come back for the next Olympics. "Anything is possible. I will keep training hard and decide when the next Olympics are announced if its something i should return for, or pass the mantle to another West Phoenician long jumper."

In other exciting news Darren Eastlow and Tom Eastlow have progressed passed the round of 16 after defeating Ethan Armstrong/Cedric Petersen of Coldfield. And next should be taking on
Ben Stephens/Parson Kennedy of Taeshan, one of the Olympics games stronger teams.
The Eastlow brothers have also signed a contract with Flattery, a female adult magazine where they will appear in a 10 page layout. Celebrating the sport of Beach Volleyball in West Phoenicia whilst appearing in as little clothes as possible to drive the female reader base and small same sex base of loyal reader wild with their sun tans, muscles and other measurements. The 10 page lay out will gibe them a hefty pay cheque of $100,000 each. Not bad for whats to be one days work of photography.

The Men's Singles and the Womens Singles Table Tennis dream has ended with all players now out of the competition. Axel Hobson was drummed out in the round of 16, a great position to be and the highest a West Phoenician Table Tennis player has reached. Carol Nguyen ended her advancement after the 3rd round.

Prince Owen Gryphon was not able to live up to the bype of possibility being the youngest West Phoenician to obtain a medal. He rode a great race, especially going up against more seasoned riders in the Cycling - Men’s Sprint. He did however finish 6th which is enough to ensure he will stay in the media spotlight and live to ride another day at a future Olympics.

Still on the topic of cycling, in the Cycling - Men’s Keirin Mike Morris stands a chance after qualifying in the First repêchage. However we should note the pressure put on cyclists like Prince Owen Gryphon to win our first gold in Cycling has turned out to be incorrect as Aaron Townsville took home gold just days ago in the Individual Time Trial. A 3rd medal at these games in Cycling would be nothing to turn our noses at. And would more than likely ensure added funding was included for cycling in future West Phoenician budgets.

Over in Badminton Toan Le/Nathan Tomica and Preben Deflaide/Brandon McCoy both have headed into the men's doubles with great success. A momentum that would be awesome to keep. If both teams could slip into the round of 16 and avoid going up against each other, West Phoenicia could find itself with its first ever Badminton medal.

Meanwhile tensions have flared in the women's triple jump camp for West Phoenicia. Franky Philo went into the event as the top performer for West Phoenicia. She won a bronze in the event at the Athletics Championships in Krytenia and out of the Triple Jump delegation she was groomed to win Instead she ranked close to last while Yasmin De Dorcas, the more average Triple Jump player landed in the top 12 and will be moving forward. While the weakest member of the team Marika Greeks placed 60th, she voiced as long as one of us gets through and places 1st, 2nd or 3rd that is all that matters.
Franky Philo had less flattering statements to make about Yasmin De Dorcas, and has accused her with sleeping with an official to reach the top 12.
"Its impossible. I'm clearly better. There is no way that slag could have placed and I'm at the bottom of the heap with the losers."

Prince Brutus Bush-Tasman of the men's Hammer throw was in even more confusion. When he ranked below what was needed to progress and noticed 5 nations representing the top 12. Which really sounds like a spooky numerology freak out.

All in all West Phoenicia is in a pretty good place. With a multitude of events still to go and West Phoenicia sitting on 8. Gold. 8.Silver. 10.Bronze, the West Phoenician Olympic Committee is urging their athletes to keep their eyes on the prize. A goal of 35-40 has been set, after the committee realised this is something that is quite possible for them to achieve. With 28 medals currently standing at least 9 more medals are to go to reach target .

Sports being looked at for possible medal wins are;

• Synchronized Swimming
• Water Polo
• Beach Volleyball
• Golf
• Athletics - Men’s 1500 m 
• Triathlon
• The 20km or 50km walk
• Sailing
• Trampoline
• An Equestrian Event

[Blitzkeig]

Robert Strong, he who throws people through walls, is prepared to win gold in the hammer throw

Robert Strong, the man famous for throwing people through walls, has informed the world today that he is now ready to throw for gold; though it's not people this time, it's the Olympic hammer. Robert Strong, who is around 7 ft 9 inches tall and generally agreed by most to be 'built like a brick shithouse,' enjoys throwing things very far, hitting people hard, and hitting people very hard. He also enjoys lifting weights up high, but wasn't very good at that this year, finishing outside of the medals.
"I had a bad day," he said following the defeat, "I wasn't feeling my best and weaker men managed to beat me. Even though I am the strongest, as I am Robert Strong, this is; some people were able to pretend that they are stronger than strong himself!"

Robert Strong has practised for the hammer throw by throwing members of his family (who aren't quite as strong as him) through a wall, leaving several of his teenage kids needing medical treatment and the wall needing a builder. "See?" he told people who he had gathered to watch, "I'm very strong! Those people are heavier than a hammer and I can throw them really far, that means that I'm strong!"

[Electrum]

OOC: Internalysis is a weekly Electrumite television show which talks about latest international events from across the multiverse. It is roughly based on Australia's Media Watch program on ABC.

Internalysis - Network ENN - Transcript

Olympics: A test case for international diplomacy

Opening theme

Hello, I'm Milo Goldman and welcome to Internalysis. Today we are covering the somewhat controversial events and news stories that have transpired in the Olympics so far. Every year the Olympic Games there seems to be a new international incident, and we start today's segment with a disturbing story that we woke up to just last week in the athlete's village in Novonaya.

ANNOUNCER: Björn Wang, part of the Table Tennis Men's Team, has been assaulted today in the Olympic Stadium today before his event in a few days. A male assailant with a knife attempted to stab Wang but Olympic security managed to hold him down.

—NBN News

Apparently, there was no motive to be found, but the Kelssekian police were on top of things, promptly arresting a 38 year old Vakolic spectator by the name of Lucien Berinu who according to sources was in a state of drunken stupor when he was arrested on the charge of assault. Such actions should be applauded - the response from Kelssek has been swift and efficient. What has been concerning however, is not the stabbing, as the culprit has been caught, but rather the response of the Vakolic government over the incident.

The opening position from this havenic government is that it does not tolerate the detainment, beating or execution of Havenic citizens, no matter the crime that they commit. [...] Therefore, it is necisary that foreign governments do not take it upon themselves to detain against their wishes any havenic citizen, but rather to offer as a maximum punishment deportation back to the Haven in a dignified mannor. [...] If, following this the release is not granted, the Havenic government shall classify the prisoner as a hostage of the host government and shall deploy hostage rescue agents in order to secure a prisoners release.

—Havenic government advice (as is)

Already we see that the position of the Havenic government is ill-informed at best and malicious at worst. To make such claims that holding a citizen on suspicion of committing an offence is analogous to being held hostage and therefore warrants an incursion by rescue agents is simply unheard of and ridiculous. Not even the hermit nation of Gregoryisgodistan has such a draconian and incorrect conception and interpretation of international law. It is a recognised principle across the multiverse that foreigners are subject to local laws whilst they are overseas, that is to say it is in their jurisdiction.

Luckily for Mr. Berinu, in Kelssek, his legal rights to consular assistance and other rights are guaranteed under Charter of Rights and Liberties. Unlucky for the Kelssek government however, they've had to deal with another person from the Havenic government.

An offer of monetary compensation shall be made to the 'victim,' as we are confident that that is all he wants in pressing charges, and we are fond of providing charity to such unfortunate individuals; so unfortunate indeed that they are forced to press ridiculous charges against an innocent man simply to get the money they require to survive... We request that deportation is the maximum sentence possible, as it is the only sentence that this Haven is willing to allow.

—Konstantin Glavus

This is a barely disguised attempt at blood money, and some might say even bribery, something that should be confined to the history books. There is a reason, in fact there are multiple reasons, why judicial courts around the world have abandoned blood money in favour of imprisonment. In most developed legal jurisprudences, the reasons why we imprison someone are to punish, to rehabilitate, act as a deterrent to others, to denounce the crime, and to seek retribution. What's more silly here is that presumably, this diplomat with some influence, has been willing to disregard the basic principles of international law across the multiverse, only exacerbating his nation's poor reputation across the multiverse.

It is inconceivable for anyone to accept those conditions anyway. It essentially gives a blank cheque to any Havenic citizen to commit any crime they would like in a foreign jurisdiction and not face the consequences, given that they are guaranteed the backing of the government. Again, this goes against the sentencing purposes that many jurisprudences have developed. The point of imprisonment when someone is found guilty is among other things, to punish and to denounce the crime. If they are just deported, as the Havenic government wanted, then no crime is deterred, and the victim won't get their retribution. In essence, no justice has been served.

It was this bizarre way of attempting to coerce the Government of Kelssek to acquiesce to their demands that led to this announcement by Kelssek's Minister for Justice, James Schlosser, saying that:

SCHLOSSER: "This is a country of laws, and they apply to every person within our territory... We will also not tolerate attempts by foreign governments to subvert the course of justice in our country. We are a republic and do not recognize any special privileges attached to noble or royal status. Furthermore, bribery of victims or witnessess is itself a serious crime."

Indeed, it was a bizarre statement merely because of the fact that it had to be made in the first place, which just highlights the absurdity of the situation. The Havenic government would do well in studying how legal systems across the multiverse operate, that these actions are simply unacceptable. I know this might make future Olympic hosts very cagey in accepting Havenic entrants and spectators, given the fact any crime they commit will probably go unpunished. For the sake of their athletes their laws must change to reflect the present day.

The writer of that particular piece of advice before was one Konstantin Glavus, a special representative for the Olympics. According to a local newspaper;

Konstantin Glavus, for someone who is officially little more than a diplomat, has gained something of a fan club throughout the Haven.

—The Times of Iros

I'm not quite sure having a fanclub at all is something any diplomat would boast about. But recently, it was that response from the Kelssek authorities which prompted him to goad said authorities to arrest him in the embassy for bribery. He also said that:

I am in no ways responsible for what the Haven chooses to do as punishment for arresting a member of its diplomatic staff. We now await the Kelssekians response, however what is known is that the Haven has very little sympathy for those who interfere with its diplomatic staff. Random cyberattacks by groups of citizens, terrorist incidents and other such occurences are known to happen...

—The Times of Iros

It is truly a pathetic charade to see a diplomat act in such an undignified and undiplomatic manner. His credentials and accreditation would certainly be terminated in any other country so it's interesting to see that the Kelssek government hasn't withdrawn it yet. What's clear to me is that the Havenic government cannot act in this childish manner anymore. They may claim that he is just one diplomat that doesn't represent the entire nation or government, but that is precisely the image that is put out when he hasn't been recalled by his own government. He has made credible threats against the Kelssek people and government, which makes you wonder whether any other sporting event should even accept Havenic athletes given the fact that this arose out of a relatively simple common assault case. If this international incident resulted from just an attempted stabbing, I shudder to think what the response would have been should it have been more serious.

In any case, this situation just highlights the many abuses of diplomatic immunity but it is well recognised in customary law across the multiverse that diplomatic immunity can be waived when individuals commit serious crimes. This will definitely be the test case: whether or not Mr. Glavus' immunity can be waived. He has made clear threats against the Kelssek people, including an implication that a terrorist attack may occur. The question is, will this be enough for the immunity to be waived? Perhaps we may see a new change in direction for the diplomatic service for the Haven. I for one will be watching and monitoring the situation.

That's all we have for this week on Internalysis. You can catch up on this month's episodes on our website at http://www.sportsnalysis.com.em and you can contact me on Tweeter. But for now until next week, goodbye.

[Britonisea]

Gold	Silver	Bronze	Total
2	2	5	9

IGBK
The Official Olympic Broadcaster for Britonisea
Broadcasters for Estogium, Nightom and the rest of the Ultimaverse

---

Is Britonisea heading for an Olympic Flop, or will things change? \\ VIEWING FIGURES!!

LIKE (5,059) | MORE

The Britonish are very disappointed at their own delegation so far, as this is proving to be a fairly difficult Olympics for us. Despite having a very large delegation, on the tenth of the Olympics, Britonisea has only managed to gain 9 medals, and is not expected to reach it's 25 medal target that it set before the Games had started. There has renewed talks on whether the Olympic budget should be, as the Britonish Government has decided to fund more money in to the Delegation but there has been poorer results this time around. To put it in to perspective, on Day 14 last year, Britonisea had 7 golds, 5 silvers and 6 bronzes, which is 18 medals in total. But this may be different because the schedule was shorter last year, and they also had a qualification process, which cancelled out a lot of other athletes, and Britonish Athletes successfully got the right to go to the Olympics. Though, it was expected that Britonisea would be on a level higher than it is on now.

The question is: How far is Britonisea going to get?

Far enough not to be embarrassed. Certain countries sudden success seem to have hindered the Britonish Delegation's performance as many of them are heard to have private conversations about how it is throwing them off course, and even some conversations heard includes asking for every athlete to be tested for enhancement drugs. Though, this was an eavesdropped conversation, so we shouldn't mention this any further.

In the Men's Singles, it seems that Britonisea is doing quite well as Bowie Salcedo and Ansell Fox both reach the Quarter Finals of the Olympics, and are not due to play each other, which means, they have a chance to both get to the Semi Final. If both of them go to the Semi Final, we will inevitably receive another medal to our tally. This will be revealed later.

Our Mario Atletico qualified for the Round Stages in the Olympics after running a fast time of 10.24, coming 11th overall, and therefore will be getting quite a good lane for the next rounds. We think that he has everything to lead him in to the finals. Darren Dupont Jared Mcguffie qualified in the Men's Hammer Throw, so that is something to look forward to, they came 2nd and 8th respectively, and are hoping to do a Britonish 1-2. Analiese Joe looks as though she is still taking her journey to an Olympic medal.

Below you find some figures regarding the Britonish viewing figures of the Games so far. The viewing figures are of live viewers¹, and do not count the On Demand watchers. The event mentioned was the most watched, judging by session, at any time (the highest peak) per day. Due to the poor results from the Olympics, it seems like the viewing figures have declined, and it also seems that the IGBK may not be interested in acquiring rights to broadcast the Winter Olympics; rumour has it, Britonisea will be returning to the Winter Games, hoping to get it's best result (to be honest, our record in the Winter Games is one medal, bronze...), and the task shouldn't be hard.

IGBK station	Percentage of Television Users (Avg)2	Number, Rounded to nearest 10K (Avg)	Peak
IGBK 1 - Day 2 of Athletics (Day 10)	21%	7.45m	7.60m
IGBK 1 - Gymnastics-Men’s Artistic-qualification (Day 11)	26%	9.09m	9.38m
IGBK 2 - Diving-Men’s 10 m Platform-finals (Day 11)	17%	5.94m	9.01m
IGBK 1 - Water polo - Men’s - QF (Day 12)	15%	5.25m	5.49m
IGBK 2 - Badminton Qualification (Day 12)	7%	2.45m	2.63m
IGBK 1 - Day 5 of Athletics (Day 13)	18%	6.73m	6.79m
IGBK 2 - Table Tennis (Day 13)	3%	1.12m	1.29m
IGBK Sport - Volleyball - Men’s Beach (Day 13)	1.5%	0.56m	0.58m

¹ One view is watching at least 10 minutes of a broadcast that is larger than 45 minutes, and 5 minutes of a broadcast that is smaller than 45 minutes. In this case, the Olympics run in 4 hour session each, so one viewer has to watch the Games for at least ten minutes for it to count. The ten minutes do not have to be consecutive, and do tally up throughout.
² The amount of television users facctuate between 32 to 37 million views.

---

Other TOP NEWS:
> IGBK asks BVC or BITC to pick up viewing rights to XIII Winter Games
> Ultimaverse Champions League 2017 set to be a close one as Togonistan prepares to host
> Leo Garry speaks about breaking in to the top 10, and is not pleased that Tennis features so late at Games.
> Etela Tomac is confirmed to be WHF Representative for Britonisea, though undergoes major lyric changes.
> Britonisea and the Environment: New Documentary on BVC 9pm, Mondays for 6 weeks.

[Kalosia]

Kalosia u l'Olimpiade
Official coverage of the XII Olympic Games by Lë Punto Kuotidianu

Day 13: Hope is not Lost

The games played today has built a bit of suspense for Kalosian supporters following the events as they unfold. Nathan Zola managed to beat his opponent, the Quebecois Christopher-Lil Twist Jones in the first round, although Zola was defeated in the following two rounds, rendering him last in the group table.
It was a different story for Rian Kruž. He defeated Marius JB Rieber, also from Quebec, seemingly with without as much effort as his colleague had to face. The two were joint 3rd in group standings yesterday; today's match has broken the tie and Rian is now 3rd out of 4 (no tie). Will he continue to climb upwards and qualify to the knockout stage?

Meanwhile, the Round of 16 was held today for Men's Beach Volleyball. Kalosia's beloved Paolo and Luka Sitšilianu went up against Matthieu Choquet and Georges Landry from Terres des Gaules. Both sides played very hard during the first match, with the opposing team managing to score 17 points before the Sitšilianu pair reached 21. However, they were willing to put up a fight. Choquet and Landry were not going to give up just yet, but Paolo and Luka weren't backing down. The second round ensued, and after a very tense game, Choquet and Landry were narrowly defeated and thus eliminated from the competition.
With the onset of Saturday night — a time of the week where nightlife is typically most active, sports bars are expected to have a night of partying. However, the journey is not over. Paolo and Luka Sitšilianu may have to face any of the following 7 athletes:

• Carolus Enderssen/Mihai Ionescu (Natanians & Nosts)
• Christian Heckathorn/Cooper Heckathorn (Unified Beretania)
• Ben Stephens/Parson Kennedy (Taeshan)
• Darren Eastlow/Tom Eastlow (West Phoenicia)
• Tim Peterson/Paul Slaughter (Electrum)
• Emmit Clausen/Alvin Richter (Taeshan)
• Cactus Heckathorn/Lenny "Buzz" Cordova (Unified Beretania)

Stay tuned for more coverage of Olympic-related news as Saturday night unfolds here in Kalosia.

[Lisander]

Johannes, Prince of Lisander, and his brother, the Infante Sorento, took advantage of the days of rest. They had already been eliminated from the fencing tournament, but could continue to visit the Olympic arenas. They had watched all the men's football games so far, and were excited for Game 5, after all Lisander still had chances to qualify for the Round of 16. But before they had to treat their appearance

"Come on, Sorento, why are you so late with this hair? You're worse than your wife."

"My brother, please, nobody takes more than Helena with your hair."

"I do not know what you're up to, if we're going to cut him down right now."

Sorento wore a braid, Johannes had loose hair. The long hairs and beards to be made were part of the disguise of William (Johannes) and Martin (Sorento) Blanchecroix, two fencing brothers who had represented Lisander in the games. That would be a marketing move to raise the morale of the national football team players. They both went down to the lobby of the building where they were staying, where they waited for the car.

---

Minutes later, the two "fencers" were in a barbershop rented especially for the occasion. The contractors cut their hair when Dorian Scilia and Licinius Galiani, captain and deputy captain of Junior XI arrived and sat down to wait in turn. The two boys watched TV commercials when an advertisement came on.

- Hey, Scilia and Galiani -

- Yeah, both of you, in the barber shop -

- all the people in Lisander have great expectations on you -

- and we called the first lisanderian in person to tell this to you and all your teammates -

- but you may know him for a different name -

- Right, William? -

-Or should I say... -

"Illustrious at extreme, His Sovereign Highness Johannes, the seventh, Prince of Lisander and Azhaar, national fencing champion under the alias of William Cédric Blanchecroix" said Sorento.

The boys looked at each other in disbelief as Johannes turned his chair. Now he appeared to be Lisander's prince. Who would have thought that the monarch, the most important person in the nation, had participated in the Olympic Games as an athlete?

"Boys, it's the following: I and my brother, Prince Sorento, we were eliminated from the fencing at the beginning of the games, we still have a lot to do before reaching your level. We support the Lisander sport.The Lisandro Olympic Committee has prepared this surprise for you, and we want from you as much effort as possible to carry on the dream of Olympic medals for Lisander! Can I count on you today against RKQ?"

[Kriegiersien]

Havenssport invited to a party and the Kriegiersien athletes came.
The Gymnasts celebrating their gold, with Val grooving smooth on the dance floor and Kraven with the crown for the medal win on his head.

The Ponies appeared out of a hot-air balloon, curious to see what happened here and showed some Magic tricks.

Iwan and Hungwung arrived drunk for even more boozing after their loss in Beachvolleyball and looking for some girls.

The whole Table Tennis squad was here, except for Esther Ada, who continued training, because she was still in the tournament.

And nearly all Swimmers showed up, in blue vault suits, gasping and gaping at all the things that were offered.
Some would have a great day and night, others would have the hangover and surprises of their lives...

[Kelssek]

RP cutoff

[Vilitan Union]

The Report from Novonaya and Provinsk :: Vilitan Union Continues Strong Aquatics Showing from Aeropag

When the sister diving duo of Inifalala Moamura and Alyfalala Moamura took home the Gold Medal in the Women's Synchronized 10m diving event at the Water Palace of Provinsk, they accomplished a feat that no Vilitan Divers had previously accomplished: Defend A Gold Medal.

With their score of 366.38 to best Ainlinnya Vanelwa and Halatolthaxa Birsume of Valanora by just under 20 points, the Moamumra sisters successfully defended the Gold Medal they won in the Womens Synchronized 10m platform event in the XI Olympic Games in Aeropag. In those games the Moamura sisters put up a similar score of 363.55 in the Final but were even further ahead of the competition, silver medalists Jaqueline Berny and Emma Barbara of Fluvique.

With their repeat gold in Novonaya and Provinsk, Inifalala Moamura and Alyfalala Moamura affirmed themselves at the forefront of the world in Womens Diving, clearly in a league of their own in comparison with the competition. Of course, Diving tends not to bring the year-round endorsements that follow major fan sports like Footsport and Auto Racing, but the Moamura Sisters will almost certainly be able to ride the wave of momentum home from Provinsk and capitalize back home in the Vilitan Cove. They will also almost certainly be in the consideration for Flag Bearers at the Closing Ceremony.

The Moamura's weren't the only Vilitan Union athletes to claim their second gold medal in Novonaya and Provinsk, however. Vilitan Union Canoeist Lkana Morala and Bikala Rutato took home the Gold in the Women's C-2 Slalom. While it was the first Gold Medal for Bikala Rutato, for Lkana Morala it was a second career Gold as the Vilitan took Gold as a teenager in their first Olympic appearance riding solo in the Women's K1 at the games in Krytenia.

It was also a 5th all-time Olympic medal for Morala who took home a Silver Medal in the K-1 Slalom in Aeropag, as well as a pair of Bronze medals in the K-1 500m and the K-2 500m with Keluaki Murasja.

But the event with which Morala won gold in Novayana and Provinsk was a special one for teammates Rutato and Morala. Favored heading into the C-1 final in Aeropag, Rutato and Morala missed a marker and had to cycle back upstream killing their time and placing them 10th and last in the final run. They responded in a big way in the XII Olympiad besting May Thomson Ani Na'Cara for the Gold.

The Vilitan Union Women's 4x100 Medley Relay Team was looking to join their fellow dihydrogen monoxide loving athletes in Repeat Gold Medal performances. Unfortunately, the push from the host country supporters at the Provinsk Sport Natatorium was enough to give the Kelssek Women swimmers that extra finger tip, out touching the Vilitan Union team by less than one tenth of a second and the Vilitan Union swim team had to settle for the silver medal.

While Golds have been in short supply, the Vilitan Union Aquatics programme has shown it is still amongst the best in the world at these games. Ricta Blika, who did claim gold in the Men's 200m Freestyle, was a marked improvement over the 20th place showing in the same event in Aeropag. It was Blika's second Olympic Medal having been a part of the Mens 4x100m Medley Relay team that won Bronze in Aeropag.

Another member of that team was Nuraziimi Kumarola. Kumarola picked up the Bronze medal in the Mens 100m Backstroke at the Provinsk Sport Natatorium, an emotional moment for the Vilitan Union swimmer who was out touched for the bronze at the wall by Vekaiyu's Yamano Viri in Aeropag, missing out on the medal podium in those games. The 3rd place finish in Provinsk is Nuraziimi Kumarola's third career bronze medal after claiming bronze in the Mens 4x100 Relay and the 200m Individual Medley in Aeropag.

Following up on the success of the two-time reigning Gold Medal winning Women's Divers, Men's 10m Synchronized Diving paid Tekko Maklo and Rin Ratao claimed a silver medal in Provinsk, besting by one their placement in Aeropag when they settled for bronze after a score less than half a point behind that of the Krytenia duo Juan Bartolomeo and Ernesto Sabio.

While Most of the Vilitan Union's continued success has come from its strong Aquatic programmes, there is one Olympic Cult-hero who transcends the sport in the Vilitan Union and that is the Vilitan Cove's favorite big man, Kay Beane. In Aeropag, Beane did the unthinkable and entered both the Boxing and Judo events. Not only did Beane enter these events, but he made the medal podium... in both! Beane made it to the Semi-Final round in the Mens Super Heavyweight Boxing tournament, ultimately falling and settling for the Bronze Medal; then followed up and did one better in the Men's Over 100kg Judo event making it all the way to the Final held at the Olympic Tower in Aeropag, before being defeated in the final match by the Avissian Union's Xavier De Santigo. Beane went on another deep run in the Mens OVer 100kg Judo tournament here in Novonaya and Provinsk, this time falling one match short of the final but recovering to claim the Bronze, the second career bronze and third career Olympic Medal for Kay Beane.

[West Phoenicia]

Upset for Team West Phoenicia across the board.

The first heartbreak of the day was in the Men's Beach Volleyball. Darren Eastlow and Tom Eastlow suffered a defeat in the Quarter-finals against Ben Stephens/Parson Kennedy of the nation of Taeshan.
The medal hopefuls were deflated after the loss, after days of ego boosting from fans and the nation of West Phoenicia. A medal in Beach Volleyball would have been a great boost to the sport. Hope still lies in Kylie Wolfe and Sofia Doc in the Women’s Beach Volleyball.

While applause goes out to the Eastlow brothers in reaching the Quarter-finals it is a blow to their bank account also, with no medal to pose in there 10 page spread in the female adult magazine Flattery, where a $20,000 bonus would have been awarded if medal were displayed during the photo shoot.

Angel Harlow, captain of the Women's Indoor Volleyball has called on the media to focus a little attention on them. After 4 matches they are on top of their division and feel they are being under represented at the Olympics. "We are in a good place. We have a small following yet we have an ability to progress, why wouldnt the media want to focus on winnere as opposed to events like Equestrian and the running events where we are stuggling. Does one have to be half nude to get some attention.?"

Ben Church placed 12th in the Triathlon, which was a disappointing blow to the athlete who had won Gold at the U.S Summer Games. "To go from gold to 12th is rather disappointing. His team mates placed 54th and 61. While there was alot of competition, Ben Church dismissed most as not a challenge. A mistake he would choose not to make again.

Thuy Le'Cell celebrates a victory in the women's Badminton singles. Progressing to the next stage. Thuy first came to the attention of West Phoenicia when she won silver at the U.S Summer Games. Thuy a first generation citizen of West Phoenicia after her family escaped from The People's Democratic Republic of East Viet. After all the hard work her parents did and the sacrifices they made to give her a good education and encouraged her from an early age to take part in traditional dancing and Badminton, a sport her own father had played in there previous country.


Qi Dai may have stopped from progressing in the womens singles for Badminton but she is playing brilliantly in the women's doubles where she has Cheryl Pisaccio as her Badminton partner. They are on top of their pool and are the best chance for the womens doubles to advance after Linda Trang in the second pair continues to fumble and cause headaches for her parter Thuy Le'Cell.

Yasmin De Dorcas also had an upset placing last in the women's triple jump finals much to the pleasure of follow West Phoenician Triple Jump athlete Franky Philo, who said if she had been in that position she would have placed first.

On a positive note Melanie Oaks has qualified in the women's shot put. Melanie nervously awaits for the finals when she attempts to break into the medal category and start helping West Phoenicia boost their medal tally in track and field events.

The West Phoenician Mermen Water Polo team also face a nervous wait. After losing in the semi finals to the Olympic Hosts Kelssek they will move into the bronze medal game against Vekaiyu who just happens to be the other Olympic host. It will definitely be tough clash, Vekaiyu has the home advantage, and they don't want to fail a second time on their home turf. West Phoenicia meanwhile has an international water polo win under their belt and want to return to further Water Polo Competitions with a medal under their belt to intimidate the other teams.

The Water Polo match is one of the must watch events for all West Phoenicians who are waiting for a team sport to rank high these Olympics. And will definitely be one of the most watched events on West Phoenician t.v over the next few days.

[Blitzkeig]

The Glavus and Berinu crisis explained
By Paulo Roscui

Another Olympics come around and yet again, a Havenic fan has done something stupid. Lucien Berinu, a table tennis spectator, inexplicably attempted to kill a foreign competitor in training; and like absolutely no sensible governments, the Haven rushed to its defence in the form of a man we've all seen a bit too much of over the past few years: Konstantin Glavus.
For those unfamiliar with the excentric diplomat, Glavus is a minor noble from Eastern Celeria, who stands about 5 ft 6 in height, and if you like small, feminine, extremely pretty men he's known as irresistible. He is gay, and lets you know it loudly in every aspect of his behaviour; he is also extraordinarily wealthy. Lord Glavus started his career with the foreign office without having to go through the usual rigourous testing process for some unknown reason, and he has developed a reputation as a man who can get things done within the Haven: given however that Mr. Berinu is still in a Kelssekian jail he might be about to lose this reputation.

But why does the Haven allow Berinu and Glavus, who are thought to be extremely close friends judging from the number of photographs of the two of them, to play God? The answer is simple: politics...and the answer to every question of Havenic politics is even simpler: it all comes down to money...and Glavus and Berinu have an awful lot of that, and their friends have even more.
To foreign observers, the Havenic parliamentary system should not work. We however know better: it's not that the system should not work, it genuinely doesn't work at all. 23000 representatives, over 150 parties and little coalitions, an election list longer than your leg; it is what happens when literally anybody is allowed to run, including the coalition in question here. After a lot of money changed hands, a bright person in the Havenic libertarian party decided that they should invite the 'break up the haven coalition' (yes, you heard that correctly) a pretty sizeable role in government. 7 ministerial positions are held by these people whose stated aim is independence for each Havenic province, and whose treasurer is one Konstantin Glavus.

Removing Glavus' diplomatic recognition, or hurting him really in any way, is going to make the government collapse because however much money they pay Glavus, he'll be paying his members of the Havensschkorpal to defect from the government coalition. Given that the break up the haven coalition are all that's holding up the other coalition of the libertarian and national capitalist parties in government, what we'll see if they disappear is another Havenic election, and literally no one wants one of those as they have a tendency to last about a year, involve compex legal proceedures, difficult coalition negotiations and the losers going to court to dispute the results...and so the Haven, and the world, are going to have to put up with more and more Glavus.

[Kalosia]

Kalosia u l'Olimpiade
Official coverage of the XII Olympic Games by Lë Punto Kuotidianu

Paolo and Luka Sitšilianu Eliminated from Men's Beach Volleyball

Sad news from Kelssek and Vekaiyu today — the only Kalosian athletes competing in Volleyball have been eliminated from the competition.

Paolo and Luka Sitšilianu, who have dominated our coverage of Kalosian athletes competing in the games, played against Tim Peterson and Paul Slaughter from fellow Rushmori nation Electrum, earlier today. Although the siblings had previously won against them in the group stage, their opponents delivered them their first (and last) defeat in this year's Games. In Kalosia, all eyes were on this match, in which Peterson and Slaughter won both rounds with the same score of 21 to 15.

While it may seem like all hope is lost, we still have 4 more athletes with a chance of winning a medal, 2 of which have not even played yet! In the following days, the spotlight will move toward them — the Games are not over!

End of Day 14: How are our athletes doing?

Badminton–Men’s Singles
Natanael Zola: 4th in group standings
Rian Kruž: 3rd in group standings

Cycling–Men’s BMX
Masimilian Dalesso: Due to play on Day 19

Fencing–Men’s Individual Sabre
Ǧamal Albukkori: Defeated in 2nd round
Rafael Korsikanë: Defeated in 2nd round

Tennis–Women’s Singles
Maria Pariǧi: Due to play on Day 19

Volleyball–Men’s Beach
Paolo Sitšilianu & Luka Sitšilianu: Eliminated in quarter finals

Weightlifting–Women’s 69 kg
Nadin Kruž: 26th out of 33 athletes, all sessions competed

[Electrum]

The Turnip: Five new Olympic Events that need to be added immediately in order to cater to the youth
by Seye Gniyrp, journalist

Every year we see the Olympic Games roar into action every year with hundreds of medals up for grabs every year! With possible rumours and murmurs within the Olympic Council to allow the addition of new sports, now is the best time to look at new Olympic events and sports. In particular, there is a focus to grab young people's attention, with plans such as allowing host cities to choose their own events and the admission of sports such as skateboarding and sports climbing as medal events in several cycles time, being considered very seriously. The Olympic Council sees that with declining viewership due to millennials, now is the time to have sports they can relate to and understand on their level. The Turnip now presents its list of five events that future Olympic Games should contest as full medal events in order to attract their attention.

1. Animestrian

Instead of letting horses have all the fun, all four legged animals should be allowed to compete in dressage, eventing and jumping events at the Olympics. For far too long dumb and expensive horses have had all the fun in competing in the Olympics: it's time that these events are opened to other four-legged creatures such as lions, wildhogs, tapirs and camels. Imagine a camel tap-dancing to music in the dressage events, or a cow trying to jump over all of the oxers in the jumping events. It would truly be a hilarious and wondrous sight, and it would be sure to attract the youth somehow. This concept could be extended to other sports as well, what about sentient camels wrestling with each other? Or even robot boxing. The possibilities are endless.

2. Honey Swimming and Running

With the endless permutations of events in the athletics and swimming, with 50m, 100m and 200m events and different stroke styles and different types of jumps, it shouldn't be too hard to add another permutation, that is, to just add honey. Swimmers would need to be fully submerged (with snorkelling tank, of course) in honey, and made to swim 100m in the goopy, sticky stuff. The quickest athlete wins. For the honey running events, just have a 1m pool of honey, and make athletes run through it, again, with the fastest athlete winning the gold medal. This will something that will really grab the attention of young people, who want nothing more but to eat sugar and laugh at pranks. This combines the two, ensuring eyes will stay 'stuck' to their television screens. We could also have honey polo and synchronised honey swimming. Everything is better with honey.

3. Weasel Stuffed Down The Pants

Athletes need to stuff a weasel (or some other small animal like a skunk) down their pants and keep it on their for the longest time. It would create the memeist and funniest gifs imaginable! The viral potential is unbelievable, and that's all that is needed to tap into the youth crowd.

4. Drawing Blood

There's nothing wrong with a bit of blood and guts. There are several ways this event could be done: One way is to have a duelling with pistols bracket -- whoever is maimed, killed or injured as the result of a duel will be eliminated until there is a gold medal winner. It would truly be an achievement to cheat death so many times. Another way this event could be run is to lock all of the athletes under a giant biosphere for the duration of the Olympics with a random assortment of traps and weather conditions in order to wreak havoc upon the athletes. The athletes would need to kill each other in order to win. In the middle of the biosphere would be weapons like bows, arrows, swords and axes: the winner is the last one standing, with the other athletes dying. This winner would win a gold medal, but no bronze and silver medals would be awarded.

5. Extreme Summer Vigil Fasting

This was an actual demonstration event which was competed in the Games of the III Olympiad, proposed by the Monastic Olympic Committee at the time. It is an event where athletes are locked into an isolated room for the duration of the Olympics, and whoever loses the greatest percentage of their body mass by the end of the Olympics is the winner. The problem is that diet pills are banned, and it would be the most boring event imaginable. Here are two suggestions to make it extreme for the youth of today, and revive its interest. First, allow diet pills of every kind. The Olympics have shifted towards catering to young people's interests, so athletes should be able to use these pills for extreme results. In fact, some athletes could get diet pill endorsements too - and there couldn't be anything wrong with that idea! The winning pills would then be proven to work, and we would truly know which weight loss pills work. Secondly, there should be a roulette that is spun every few hours. It should have different events like increase the temperature, sound an air horn every ten minutes to spice things up. It would turn this event to the max.

These are all fun, youthful and quirky events that the Olympic Council can utilise straight away in order to modernise the ageing event and appeal to the youth. We await their response.

[Vangaziland]

The Men's 100m Sprint was an event the Vangazi have been training hard for. The various colleges have recruited and developed naturally fast athletes from across the nation's high schools for years. The Empire had not put together much funding for a national team until recently. Some feel the athletics program may end up as the most improved Vannish Team of the XII Olympiad.

The first 100m Heats were on Friday, June 21st. The track would see three Vannish competitors; Dorn Wethingson, Tanner Afrikassen, and MC Ristoff. Each runner advanced into the next stage.

Wethingson ranked 3rd overall with a score of 10.22. He had to push hard to do so and spent a good bit of energy. Tanner Afrikassen was in the group of runners tied for 5th at 10.24. He made a push towards the end, but it wasn't anything outside of his normal strategy.

Ristoff ran a 10:27 along with two other runners, including a sentient tropical bird. He showed up at 16th, but that was under several ties, including the six alongside Afrikassen. The first place time was 10:17. This was a decent amount of separation looming over him. Ristoff was expected to do well. He didn't get off to his best start. This meant he had to spend energy catching up. That took away from his last push.

He'd have to focus more clearly on his launch. Now he knew what the pressure of the Olympiad felt like.

"Ristoff is a tactician", said his former coach. "He's always trying to get better. He gets people behind him. The guy is good for chemistry. Track teams are often filled with rivalries. It's competitive. Ristoff builds camaraderie. They're all in the same boat. He even pushes them to be faster."

Tanner Afrikassen was the first to run in the semifinals. He finished 2nd, just ahead of Blacksen Domination, the Havenic competitor. Ristoff and Wethingson finished the third heat 2nd and 3rd respectively. Wethingson fought to keep up with his countryman.

All three advanced to the Finals. The race got off quickly. This was a sprint. It was all out, all the way. On this level at 100 meters, strategy could only do so much. When everyone started to push, Wethingson and Afrikassen fell back from the pacemakers, finishing 6th and 8th.

It was a photo finish. There were a tense few moments while judges decided who would win. Three nations were on edge, hoping for the call. The decision came in. MC Ristoff just won Vangaziland's first gold medal.

Fans across Vangaziland let out a sigh of relief. The Empire added one of the nation's most targeted medals of the Olympiad. With the Olympic program still being developed in Vangaziland, there were expected to be difficulties. Several Vannish competitors have been having difficulties. A few chances had been blown. Others had simply underperformed.

But now, the Vangazi had their chance to hear their anthem and rally around national sports.

The Vannish men's basketball team is making a serious run at defending the Gold from the last Olympiad. They finished the Group stage undefeated and have advanced through the playoff stages. The Gold is not a given. The Vangazi still have a fight ahead. Even getting back to the Gold Medal Game will be the honor, at least according to the team's Captain.

"We're all fighting for that Gold", said starting point guard Steven Eaglesen. "It's about the stage. If another team brings it, that's life. But we were there. We put our flag on TV, along with the rest of the Empire."

He was also asked about his feelings on the team's XII performance. "Things have been in line with Vannish basketball. We're ranked 4th in the international league, the IBC. Its who we are. Basketball is the sport that anyone can play as long as they have a ball and a hoop. That's the first sport most of us learn."

There are basketball courts in parks across Vangaziland. As the taiga turns to a tundra and in other cold Vannish climates, indoor gyms might replace community parks. There are other sports that are just as popular. They just need more gear. Lacrosse is still technically the national sport in Vangaziland. But so much gear is needed just to go to practice.

Basketball is big business in Vangaziland. It generates more revenue than any other sport, both in professional and academic leagues.

The coach of the Vangaziland Royals IBC team spoke on the Vannish Olympiad Team. "It's going to be hard not trying to work more of these players onto the Royals. I'm making calls right now."

The Vangazi look to make a few more runs at the Gold in several other areas, including golf. Lyon Metals got off to a decent start, finishing 10th in the men's competition. He has the talent to make a run, but we'll see how the course treats him.

[Kriegiersien]

The good



Mystic Fighter (Artist's name) had a rough season. After becoming father and looking after his family, he had a difficult time getting back into the triathlon racing circus. On the Ironman distance he had only mediocre results, an injury hold him back, it didn’t look good for the Olympics.
But on this day he was in perfect shape. Good start in the water, dominating his special discipline, the cycling, he went on to make it a perfect day in running away his opponents and being able to take a Kriegiersien flag before crossing the finishing line. Gold in Triathlon.

“It was the surprising, but perfect end of a hard season. I felt great today, but I hadn't expected that”, said Bubi Bubiron, as he is named in real life.

He also thanked his sponsors, his family, his physio and pointed out that he is free of illegal substances. He even arrived with his own, small staff, as he didn't “trust this Kriegiersien doctors.”



Esther Ada had to play six close sets, but then she had beaten Matilda Docherty from Eastfield Lodge and reached the semis again.

Now a great semi final awaits against Leina Iselistre from Vekaiyu, ex Olympic champion and Ranking Number one, awaits.
Ada, still playing her exhausting offensive Shakehand style, wants to reach the final again and win Gold this time. She even qualified for the Tennis tournament, but that is (for the moment) only secondary.

We are hoping for a spectacular match.


The bad

The female gymnasts had a bad day. Nearly everything went wrong. Aires slipped, Elfchen flew through the room and Ulan dropped from the bars. Alice and Mantis lost balance on the beam with Mantis hurting an ankle.
It was as if everyone had rolled a natural 1.
8th and last place in the final, what was, after the Gold of the men a day before, a disaster. Many girls had tears in their eyes.


and the ugly



Multi-talent Rink has his last chance for a medal in Golf. But after day 1 it doesn't look good. A score of 82 and place 46, means being far away from the first and medal ranks.
“I trained hard at my Gamestation 3, with the Henry Burt Golf Simulator 2015, but it didn't work out yet. I destroyed 5 clubs, but to no effect”, said a frustrated Rink, putting down his champagne glass on the head of his caddy, Mr. Handy. Who is also his teammate and on place 57 with 83 strokes.


Hangover

Jeffrey Simmons woke up with heavy headache. He felt the crown on his head. After a while he remembered that he hadn't won a medal. He wasn't even close. He had been disqualified in the 200 m swimming. He had not deserved or gotten a crown. He had been on this party and...and...
Something dripped down from his eyebrows, down on his hairy chest. It was red. He felt his arms hold stiff in position, left and right. He looked around. His arms were bond to a post and his feet too. He was hanging on a cross. Naked. Blood dropping from his head. He believed to recognize a ring of thorns on his frontal. Just like on his first day on the wasteland, when he was captured from crazy cannibalistic raiders, he remembered. Hopefully this time ending better.
“Hello?”, he shouted.