International Basketball Championships 23 (IC Thread)

by **Abaja** » Sat Apr 22, 2017 6:58 pm

SEMI FINALS GAME 3 CUTOFF
Qasdonian Side

Game Time

Abanhfleft 87 - 63 Ethane

Abanhfleft wins series 2-1

@The Sanke Pit, Qad City

☆彡THIRD PLACE PLAYOFF☆彡

Abaja vs Ethane

@Alkón Arena, Menusa

★彡IBC 23 FINALS★彡

Saint Kanye vs Abanhfleft

@MaxCap Stadium, T.V City

by **Saint Kanye** » Sun Apr 23, 2017 6:59 pm

IBC 23: YEEZIES VS. FLEFTICS IV
The Surge-Rebs saga continues in the IBC finals

by the Kibitzer Research Department

The 23rd International Basketball Championships finals is shaping up to be one of the most exciting ones in the history of the world hoops contest, as the two most recent IBC champions, both backed by their legions of rabid supporters, will be facing off in a five-game series at MaxCap Stadium in T.V. City, Qasden. The St. Kanye Surge and the Abanhfleft Rebolusyonaryos have butted heads in three previous IBC playoffs, but never before have these strong and competitive teams met in the final round, until now. Let's get to know the participants of this epic clash and see how they stack up against each other.

ST. KANYE SURGE vs ABANHFLEFT REBOLUSYONARYOS

World ranking: 1st (STK), 2nd (AFT)

Expect great things to come from the top two national teams in the world. On paper, this looks to be a very even matchup, one that will likely come down to the last seconds of the game each time.

IBC debut: IBC 19 (STK), IBC 15 (AFT)

The Surge were considered the "surprise debutant" of the IBC's nineteenth edition, as they finished in third place in their very first appearance. Since then, they have gone on to post two more podium finishes in the next three IBCs. The Rebs failed to enter the postseason with a 5-5 record back in IBC 15, then went on a string of playoff appearances, falling short in each of them - until the IBC 21 squad bucked the trend with a championship, that is.

Titles won: IBC 20 and IBC 22 (STK), IBC 21 (AFT)

The Surge faced and downed the Rebs during both of their title runs. The Fleftics went for gold in between those two seasons, but the Kanyeans were nowhere to be found in the IBC 21 playoffs cast.

Head to head record: 5-1 (STK favor)

It took the Kanyeans three games to down the Fleftics in the IBC 19 quarterfinals, only to get swept by eventual champs The Andromeda Islands in the semis. The Surge and Rebs met again in the quarters one season later, in which the latter rioted after getting beaten twice by the former, who would go on to win it all against Ko-oren. St. Kanye's fifth win over Abanhfleft came last season, in the one-game semifinals which propelled the purple and lime into the finals, where they defeated the hosts Ethane.

IBC 23 record so far: 14-0 (STK), 14-2 (AFT)

"The record might look like it's an advantage for us, but it's really not", said Surge head coach Anton Spoletto. "There is no time for gloating or celebrating our record. None of that matters now, in the final stage. It's not how you got here, but that you did."

IBC 23 average points scored: 97.714 (STK), 85.875 (AFT)

IBC 23 average points given up: 82 (STK), 69.688 (AFT)

These figures simply mean that the Kanyeans must continue to go on a scoring rampage, but their defense could use more improvement. The Fleftics should keep up the good work on D, but continue to work on their offense.

IBC 23 average winning margin: 15.714 (STK), 19.5 (AFT)

On average, both teams have defeated their previous opponents by a fairly big margin. But given how evenly matched they are, we expect closer results.

IBC 23 starters' average height: 6 ft 7.6 in (STK), 5 ft 9.3 in (AFT)

The Surge have a very clear height advantage here. Knowing them, they will likely continue to overwhelm the smaller Rebs like so many times in the past, but look for the Fleftics to think of ways to get their shots through despite their height disadvantage.

IBC 23 starters' average age: 24 yo (STK), 30 yo (AFT)

The Surge is a young team composed of college and amateur stars, but despite these, they have shown that they can give professional ballers from around the world a run for their money. The Rebs' first five are all three decades old, but years of competing at the international level have given them loads of valuable experience and lessons to learn.

Game Schedule - Finals

Matchday 1: White Jerseys vs. Abanhfleft (2)
Matchday 2: Purple Jerseys vs. Abanhfleft (2)
Matchday 3: White Jerseys vs. Abanhfleft (2)
Matchday 4 (if needed): Purple Jerseys vs. Abanhfleft (2)
Matchday 5 (if needed): White Jerseys vs. Abanhfleft (2)

The finals will be televised live through SKYNET (Saint KanYe NETwork) Sports Channel 12; the third place series will be shown delayed. All games streamed live on ibc-tv.stk.

Next issue: We look at both teams' starters!

works? · by **Abanhfleft** » Mon Apr 24, 2017 7:59 am

The Interceptors: The Enemy Within, Part One

The Presidential Mansion
Official residence of the President of the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft
619 Steppy Drive
Riuwiee, Abanhfleft

Eva Soriano, the tall, slim, and fit 47-year-old woman who was also the Director of Abanhfleft’s Republican Bureau of Investigation, the national government organization tasked with investigating large-scale crimes such as internal bureaucratic corruption, terrorist threats, cross-province criminal activities and the like, sat patiently in the anteroom leading to the office of the President of the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft. At 5 feet 8 inches, Soriano cut a graceful and cultured figure whether standing up or sitting down, but underneath that silky exterior beat the heart of a steely warrior, a true crime-buster in every sense of the word. Eva Soriano had been one of the Bureau’s fastest rising stars in her early days with the RBI and attained the rank of Senior Supervisory Special Agent when she was just 40 years old, making her the youngest ever agent to attain that rank. Three years after that, Soriano was now the Special-Agent-in-Charge of the RBI’s Riuwiee Field Office, widely considered within the Bureau as the firs stepping stone to the directorship. Indeed, just two years after becoming the Riuwiee SAC, Eva Soriano was nominated Director by her immediate predecessor to the position and, after the approval of the President of Abanhfleft, her promotion to Director was made official.

Now Eva Soriano was waiting for her appointment with the President of Abanhfleft, her hands laid demurely on her lap and her legs crossed at the ankles. She knew very well the reason why she had been called here, and she knew why the President had specifically asked for her to bring the two men and one woman also waiting in the President’s anteroom with her.

Everyone by now knows the story of the abduction of Nina Dirnt, ambassador extraordinary and plenipotentiary of the Glorious Republic of Saint Kanye to the Allied States of the Empire of Cats, by a group of people calling themselves “The Real Fans of Abanhfleft.” Their reasons for abducting Ambassador Dirnt on her way to watching the Saint Kanye Surge (the national basketball team of Saint Kanye) were simple: “The Real Fans of Abanhfleft” considered Saint Kanye as the enemy of their great nation the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft and therefore all citizens of Saint Kanye were targets of their group. No one knows how “The Real Fans of Abanhfleft” managed to kidnap Dirnt but they did reveal themselves to be the entity behind the abduction after they had posted a video on a popular video-sharing site announcing their capture of Ambassador Dirnt and their demands for the international basketball governing body to strip Saint Kanye of their rank which, “The Real Fans of Abanhfleft” claimed, had been gotten by a combination of substance abuse, bribery of match officials, and outright intimidation tactics. Of course, there was no truth to these allegations, but the fans of Abanhfleft (a very tiny minority from which these so-called “real ones” sprung forth) had always seen themselves as being denied the chance at winning the International Basketball Championships (at least until the 21st edition) by either their own team choking long and hard or outside forces tripping up their title challenge. In their video, “The Real Fans” had claimed that unless their demands were met within 72 hours, they would then be “forced to take drastic measures upon their captive.” They had intentionally made it unclear what exactly they meant by “drastic measures” but it was clear from their tone that these “drastic measures” definitely involved some form of bodily harm upon the ambassador. And because these people had claimed themselves to be from Abanhfleft by virtue of their name, the Republican Bureau of Investigation had been called over by the President himself to handle the investigation of this case and, if possible, rescue Ambassador Dirnt.

“The President will see you now, Director,” the President’s secretary said after she had spoken on the phone to the President, who was still in his office. Director Soriano nodded her thanks to the secretary, who led her to the double oak doors of the office and opened them. The secretary announced, “Director Soriano is here to see you, Mr. President,” and then she nodded Soriano into the office.

Whenever people first set their eyes upon President Rako Novoire of the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft, he most often surprised them by appearing, in his own words, “simply as not what they would expect a president of a very big country like Abanhfleft to look like.” At 41 years old, Novoire still retained much of that boyish charm and matinee idol looks which he rode on his way to the Presidential Mansion in Abanhfleft’s first ever general elections since the 2008 Holy Catholic Revolution. A combination of very good genes and some light cosmetic work (one of Novoire’s few vices to which he admitted doing in a one-on-one interview on a very popular talk show) had ensured that Draco Novoire (his real name; “Rako” was how he had pronounced and spelled his name when he was young and he just rolled with it as he got older) still looked like no one’s idea of a president of a great nation like Abanhfleft even though he had grown himself a beard in an attempt to make himself “fit in more with other people’s ideals of a president.”

Novoire stretched out his hand in greeting as Director Soriano entered his office. “It’s a pleasure to see you again, Director,” he said as they shook hands. “I apologize for the manner in which we have been brought together once again, and I must also apologize for making you wait for so long. I just got off the phone with the Emperor of the Empire of Cats. He has asked if he could deploy a small task force consisting of some of his troops, as well as soldiers from Saint Kanye, to assist us in our search for Ambassador Dirnt. They have reason to believe that she is being held right here in Riuwiee.”

“How can they say that, Mr. President?” Soriano asked. “Do they have their own evidence which says that these ‘Real Fans of Abanhfleft’ are keeping the ambassador here in Riuwiee?”

“To be honest, the Cats have no hard evidence,” President Novoire replied. “I do not wish to use the word ‘assume,’ but I believe that they have made the conclusion that Dirnt would be kept here in Riuwiee due to the identities of her abductors.”

“And how is this… ‘Foreign Legion’ going to go about the business of looking for the ambassador?”

“I’ve been advised to tell the people of Riuwiee to remain in their homes while the Foreign Legion made their sweeps of the place,” Novoire said.

“Well, then, that’s definitely going to alert the criminals that we’re looking for them, if they are here in Riuwiee, which we still do not know with absolute certainty,” Director Soriano replied.

“Ah, it’s a good thing that we’re thinking along the same lines, Director,” Novoire said. “And this is why I’ve asked you to come here. You are the one who thought of the idea of creating the Interceptors, am I right?”

“Yes, Mr. President,” Soriano said, nodding her head. “Although I cannot claim full credit for bringing forth the concept of the Interceptors into this world. The Riuwiee Police Department has had a task force which they called ‘The Interceptors’ long before you or I have been on this world, but these Interceptors were generally successful with their own operations which was why, when the time came that I joined the Bureau, I thought that it was perhaps a good idea to create a unit similar to the Interceptors within the Bureau. I have to admit some creative failings, though, when I named this RBI unit ‘The Interceptors’ as well.”

“Ah, but why should we be worried about what this unit or that unit is called if they are all on the same side anyway?” Novoire asked. He leaned over to his intercom and called for his secretary. “Send them in,” he said. The two men and the other woman waiting with Director Soriano outside in the anteroom went in at the invitation of the President’s secretary. President Novoire once again stood up to greet the new arrivals with hands extended.

“It’s an honor to finally meet you, Mr. President,” the younger of the two men said as he shook Novoire’s hand.

“The honor’s mine, I should say, Mr. Anthony,” Rako Novoire said to his guest Geronimo “Gerry” Anthony, head of the RBI’s Interceptors unit.

“Here are my associates, Mr. Gabriel de Galicia and Miss Ellen Quest,” Anthony said, gesturing to his two companions. Gabriel de Galicia was the tall man with the white hair and the glasses while Ellen Quest was the curly-haired brunette with the big wide brown eyes.

“Ah, yes, of course,” Novoire said. “I’ve heard all about you guys and your exploits. Tell me, was Gharbambiyah really that messed up?”

“All that and more, Mr. President,” de Galicia replied to the dutiful laughter of the rest of the Interceptors.

“Well, then, I assume that you know why you’ve been invited here,” Novoire said as they got down to business.

“Yes, indeed, we have, Mr. President,” Gerry Anthony said as the Interceptors took seats beside Director Soriano. “It’s a very terrible thing, really. From what little we were able to determine from what little scraps we could get out of that single video that the quote-unquote ‘Real Fans of Abanhfleft,’ we think that these people are what we would call ‘Abanhfleft First’ people. They’re kind of like the old ‘America First’ people; they think that Abanhfleft is the greatest nation in the world and that any time and every time that Abanhfleft is defeated in any part of the world, be it politically or diplomatically or, in the case of these ‘Real Fans of Abanhfleft,’ on the sports stage, it has to be the work of nefarious forces working behind the scenes to deny Abanhfleft its rightful victory. It’s gone beyond a mere conspiracy theory into an outright mindset, even an ideology. These people truly believe that Abanhfleft has been denied victory in sports by an unknown and mysterious cabal doing their utmost best to deny Abanhfleft the victories and trophies which these people think we so richly deserve. Of course, to them, the times that we do end up victorious in the sports stage are just instances in which we triumphed over this evil cabal determined to keep Abanhfleft down on its knees. There is no piece of evidence which cannot be made to fit into their warped worldview, Mr. President. That is the way people like them have worked, and it’s very unlikely that this will change anytime soon.”

“Okay, then,” President Novoire said, nodding his head. “Now that we know who we’re dealing with, have you been able to determine where these people are holding Ambassador Dirnt?”

“We hit a lucky break right there, Mr. President,” Anthony replied. “I just got off the phone with Dench—Dennis Messi, one of my tech people—”

“You call him your ‘resident combat technologist,’ don’t you, Gerry?” Ellen Quest piped in.

“Yes, I do, but that’s not my point,” Gerry replied immediately. “My point is, Mr. President, is that I believe Dench—Mr. Messi may have discovered the location of Ambassador Dirnt’s captors.”

“And why do you think would this Dennis Messi techie of yours would have found that out?” Novoire asked.

“He gave me a detailed step-by-step guide of how he was able to do it, Mr. President,” Gerry Anthony replied. “To make a long story short, though, first he tried to trace the abductors’ location through the IP address from which they posted their video. The video has long since been taken down by the website and the user account which posted it blocked from further activity, but Dench was still able to gain access to an old cached copy of the original video as well as the profile page of the original uploader. Basically, he told me that the uploaders used a frequency-hopping router to set anyone trying to look for them through that particular trail on the wrong track by bouncing off of various IP addresses during the upload. That being a dead end, Dench then set to work trying to analyse the footage itself, hoping that analysing the background noise would help him determine where exactly they were when they made the video. Of course, there’s no guarantee that either the ‘Real Fans’ or Ambassador Dirnt herself would still be in the same location where they made the video, but at least it’s a better assumption to make than what those Catsian forces, that ‘Foreign Legion’ combing the streets of Riuwiee, made.”

“But did Mr. Messi find out where the video was made, Mr. Anthony?” President Novoire asked. The conversation had a chance of getting derailed if he didn’t interrupt Gerry immediately.

“Yes, sir, sorry about that, Mr. President,” Gerry said with a nod. “Dench gives this only an 80-percent probability of being correct, but he believes that the ‘Real Fans’ are holding Ambassador Dirnt right in the heart of the IBC finals, T.V. City.”

Rako Novoire couldn’t help but feel his jaw dropping in surprise. “T.V. City? In Qasden?” he repeated. “But why? Why would they go all the way from Abaja to Qasden just to hold the ambassador? If your tech guy did get it right—what did you say he gave this, an 80 percent probability?—Dirnt was indeed kidnapped in Menusa on her way to watch the Surge then why would her captors go to all the trouble of carrying her for the entire journey to Qasden?”

“You have to understand, Mr. President, the way in which the minds of these people work,” Gabriel de Galicia replied, speaking for the first time since their introductions. “The finals series between Abanhfleft and Saint Kanye in the International Basketball Championships has given them the platform, the stage from which they could spout their own beliefs to the rest of the world and show that they have the means to carry out their plans in full view of the basketball world. Their psychological profiles do show that while they may be able of hurting the good ambassador if their demands are not met, they are not capable of going all the way and killing her to prove their point. However, on that note, no one was able to predict that Aldo Thomson would go and blow himself up in Quebec along with at least twenty other people.” Aldo Thomson was the infamous fan formerly of Sixth Man Abanhfleft, the official fan club of the Abanhfleft national basketball team, who was kicked out of the club for his activities with regards to the IBC 20 Riots who then detonated a homemade bomb in the middle of a crowd outside of a stadium in Quebec where the semifinals series between Abanhfleft and Quebec were being held.

But before de Galicia could say more, the door to the president’s office opened suddenly and a man wearing the combat fatigues which were the daily uniform of the Fleftic Army burst into the office. “Mr. President, I hate to interrupt this meeting, but we have a rapidly developing situation,” he said. “Seven attack helicopters carrying the markings of the Empire of Cats are rapidly approaching Volga Volta International Airport, and there are also reports of soldiers from Saint Kanye and the Empire of Cats disembarking from Volta International’s Terminal Three! This might very well be the precursor to a combined Catsian and Kanyean invasion after their ambassador was kidnapped by our people!”

“General Balladur, do calm down, please,” President Rako Novoire said to General Rowan Benedict Balladur, the commanding general of the entire Fleftic Army, second-in-command only to the commander-in-chief himself. “This is not an invasion, General Balladur,” the president said with a smile.

“It’s not?” Balladur asked blankly.

“No, no, General Balladur, it’s not,” President Novoire repeated. “The Emperor of the Empire of Cats just called me before this meeting. They told me that they were deploying a small group of their soldiers to assist us in combing Riuwiee for the kidnapped ambassador, whom they believe is being held right here in our capital.”

“Oh, if that’s the case then perhaps I should excuse myself,” Balladur said. “Forgive me for making such a huge ass of myself, Mr. President.”

“Nonsense, General. And if you don’t mind, I want you to stay here for the moment to get you updated on the situation. General, have you met Mr. Gerry Anthony?”

“Yes, Mr. President, of course,” Balladur replied. “If it weren’t for Mr. Anthony and his team of RBI agents, my son would probably still be in Gharbambiyah, in the clutches of that despicable warlord Eskalumbuye.” One of the RBI Interceptors’ exploits in the nation of Gharbambiyah was helping to rescue Rowan Benedict “Arby” Balladur Junior, son of General Balladur, from the clutches of the rebel warlord Edward Eskalumbuye, who was ostensibly carrying out a rebellion in the country which was in fact supported by both his loyalist brother General Stephane Eskalumbuye and the self-declared president of Gharbambiyah himself, Isaiah Cabulovowino.

“Mr. Anthony, would you care to fill in General Balladur on what you’ve found out about Ambassador Dirnt’s captors?” Novoire asked. Anthony did so, taking him five minutes to bring the general fully up to speed. Once he had been fully briefed, Balladur asked Anthony, “I have faith in you and your people, Mr. Anthony. If your man Messi says that the ambassador is in Qasden then I believe him, and I believe you. I believe that you will be able to rescue her just as you rescued my son in Gharbambiyah. But what are we going to tell the Catsians and their Foreign Legion?”

“We shall tell them the truth, of course, General,” President Novoire said. “It is no less than what they deserve. But in the interests of keeping our targets unaware of our plans, we must have the Foreign Legion maintain their presence here in Riuwiee so that the ‘Real Fans’ do not think that we are now hot on their trail, if indeed they are in Qasden. We must also maintain a news blackout.” To Gerry Anthony and the Interceptors, he said, “Do what you do best, Mr. Anthony, Mr. de Galicia, Miss Quest. Bring Nina Dirnt back alive. We must show these so-called ‘Real Fans’ that they are no fans of our glorious Democratic Republic, and we must show the people of Saint Kanye and the Empire of Cats that we stand with them in their time of need and that we will not tolerate such despicable behavior from even our own citizens. Free Nina Dirnt, gentlemen and ladies. I have complete faith in you. Abanhfleft, Saint Kanye, and the Empire of Cats trust you to do your jobs as well. We are doing this for humanitarian reasons, of course, but this is also our chance to prove to both Saint Kanye and the Empire of Cats that a small group of fans is not representative of our entire nation, that we are their friends. We are Abanhfleft, ladies and gentlemen, and we will free Nina Dirnt.”

by **Saint Kanye** » Mon Apr 24, 2017 8:41 am

"YEEZUS CREW" ARRIVES IN ABANHFLEFT
Kanyean spec ops group to aid in search for abducted ambassador

by Stephanie Godfrey

RIUWIEE - About thirty members of the Kanyean National Armed Forces (KNAF)'s Special Operations Command, known as the "Yeezus Crew", have arrived via helicopter at Volga Volta International airport in Riuwiee, the capital of the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft. They are part of a multinational task force assembled to track down the captors of Kanyean ambassador to the Empire of Cats, Nina Dirnt, and bring her to safety.

Ambassador Dirnt, 38, was kidnapped en route to the St. Kanye Surge national basketball team's 23rd International Basketball Championships quarterfinals game against the Ceni Snakes in Menusa city, Abaja, six days ago. A group called the "Real Fans of Abanhfleft", composed of militant supporters of the Democratic Republic's Rebolusyonaryos basketball team, claimed responsibility for the kidnapping through a video that also showed that Ms. Dirnt is alive and well, yet tied to a chair.

The Fleftic, Kanyean and Catsian governments have all condemned the actions of the Real Fans group, and it is these three nations who have assembled the task force aimed to search and rescue the ambassador. A member of the Yeezus Crew, who refused to be named, has stated that they prefer to keep details of the mission under wraps to protect its safety and success.

Meanwhile, in T.V. City, Qasden, site of the IBC 23 championship series between the Surge and Rebolusyonaryos, dozens of other members of the KNAF are on standby to provide additional security in case members of the Real Fans intend to disrupt the games. Back in IBC 21, Aldo Thomson, a member of the said group, which broke off from Abanhfleft's official supporters' club The Sixth Man due to their strong xenophobic views, killed around twenty people and himself in a suicide bombing in the Royal Kingdom of Quebec, and it is feared that another attack by the Real Fans is planned.

by **Qasden** » Mon Apr 24, 2017 8:45 pm

Oh baby, it's time for the first CUTOFF of the IBC23 3PPO! It's times like this where you need to just sit back, breathe, and do it.

Abaja 96-89 Ethane

Abaja lead series, 1-0
@Alkón Arena, Menusa

by **Abaja** » Mon Apr 24, 2017 9:00 pm

IBC 23 FINALS GAME 1
Qasdonian Side

Game Time

Saint Kanye 101 - 75 Abanhfleft

Saint Kanye leads series 1-0
@MaxCap Stadium, T.V. City

by **Empire of Cats** » Tue Apr 25, 2017 9:06 am

(OOC note: I hope there are no objections to this, as I am done, if so, let me know.

Far From Home

Riuwiee - Lieutenant Frederick Graham frowned as he listened to General Kitt explain the strategy for their next sweep of the Fleftian capitol. It had been long enough and there had been no new evidence to show that Miss Dirnt was anywhere to be found. He had had enough.

"Sir, permission to speak freely?" The meeting quieted down. All of the main officers were here, and Frederick suddenly felt the weight of what he was about to say.

"Permission granted, Lieutenant. What do the Special Forces have to add to this discussion?"

"Sir, with all due respect, we don't know what we are doing. We have no evidence to support Miss Dirnt being here. We have found nothing and nobody in our sweeps of the capital, and evidence points to the fact that they were never here to begin with. Sir."

There was dead silence.

"The lieutenant just beat me to my next point. I was about to say that we do know that the ambassador is not here, but our orders from the Emperor and now the Fleftians was to sweep the capitol to keep our enemy from knowing that we know where they actually are."

"Why were we not informed? And where is the ambassador? We have made fools of ourselves and of our military!"

"I would like to remind the Lieutenant of his place." Graham quieted down.

"We were afraid of possible leaks if word of our true intentions got out to the press. Secondly, that information is classified. Finally, we have hundreds of international witnesses that can attest to our commitment to international peace. This is not a war zone, lieutenant."

Graham felt himself seethe with anger. Biting his tongue, he muttered to the General.

"Permission to leave, sir."

"Granted. Take a break, Graham. You're a good soldier, but this is not a matter of war."

Two Hours Later, Riuwiee Streets - Frederick scowled as he checked yet another civilian's ID as cars passed through the checkpoint located in downtown Riuwiee.

"So, can I go?"

"Yeah. Get moving, you're good."

"Thank you!" The civilian drove off.

He sighed as he switched out of his post and was replaced by Private Sanchez. He walked to a nearby bench and sat down, semi automatic rifle cradled in his arms. His body armor was heavy and his helmet obscured his vision.I came all this way to be a traffic cop.

He watched as a short man in an ill-fitting Abanhfleft jersey strolled into a nearby tobacco shop. Lucky sap. At least you don't have to watch cars go past for two hours, he thought. He idly sat as traffic flowed. After about fifteen minutes, the man came back out, looking at his phone and carrying his bag of groceries.

Life goes on. All is well.

Wait. Groceries? Fresh produce? Out of a tobacco store? He sat up and looked again as the man vanished down a nearby alleyway. That is...interesting.

He slid off of the bench and followed at a distance. He had nothing better to do, anyway.

For three blocks, the man dodged trash cans and dumpsters as he walked down the alleyway, Frederick following quietly behind. Then the man walked up a rickety old staircase in a loud and raucous apartment. Frederick followed.

The man pulled out his phone as he entered his apartment, closing the door and locking it. Frederick stooped over and listened. He's probably just calling his wife or something. Quit snooping. You have nothing to be concerned with.

"Yeah. Yeah. No. They're still at it. Keyhole Kops, I tell you. Yeah. Not too bright."

Maybe I do, after all.

"You still have her? Good. They'll be complying soon enough. No. They have no idea we have her. No. No new video. Yes. I leave tomorrow. They might get wise. That ambassador? Feed her twice. I'm leaving now. No, to get tobacco; that sham up front only works so well." He hung up.

No sooner had he done that then Frederick kicked down the door, wood shattering as Frederick slammed the butt of his rifle into the man's face, sending him sprawling across a ratty old table that collapsed under his weight.

"Stay down! Special Forces, you're under arrest!"

"Dou bwoke mah nose!" The man's face was gushing blood, but Grahm could care less.

"Shaddup!" He was already cuffing the man. He looked around at the dingy apartment. A phone, a ticket to T.V. City, a refrigerator-

Wait. That ticket. He quickly stuffed it into his pocket. He grabbed the phone and yanked the man up onto his feet. "Quasden, eh?"

"I down't knowe whatte dou ahre dalking ahboud."

"Let's move. I think quite a few people would like to talk to you."

by **Saint Kanye** » Tue Apr 25, 2017 10:21 am

IBC 23: SIZING UP THE COMPETITION
Abanhfleft Rebolusyonaryos

by the Kibitzer Research Department

Last issue, we looked at the numbers regarding the 23rd International Basketball Championships finals matchup between the St. Kanye Surge and the Abanhfleft Rebolusyonaryos. Now that you readers have the stats, it's time for you to get to know the ones who make them. Here are the main cast for what is surely going to be one of the most exciting IBC Finals matchups ever.

POINT GUARD: MICHAEL PORTER (STK) vs. LEONIDAS BAXTER (AFT)

This will actually be the first time that the Surge will get to play the Rebolusyonaryos' small wonder of a captain, five-foot-seven Leonidas "Leo" Baxter. The Fleftic captain was abducted during IBC 19, injured in IBC 20, and was not part of the team in IBC 22. Like Porter, Leo has playmaking and ball-handling abilities, but he's also more of a scoring point guard. The 6'1" Porter, however, like the rest of the Kanyean starters, has the height advantage going for him, and if at any point he gets bothered too much by how Leo can stay on pace with taller PGs, then he could just use his flashy and accurate passes to find his teammates to generate shots.

SHOOTING GUARD: VICTOR McLAIN (STK) vs. JAN HARRIS (AFT)

We give credit to Harris for being a capable scorer, but then there's McLain, who's a great one, provided we're talking about three-pointers. Jan might be able to capitalize on his Kanyean counterpart's barely average defensive skills, but just as Victor isn't the most reliable guy in rebounding, his 6'6" height compared to Harris' 5'11" might allow him to grab more of those boards than he's used to.

SMALL FORWARD: JOSH JACKSON (STK) vs. BORIS BARRY (AFT)

Surge captain Jackson, an all-around player, is one of the brightest young basketball stars in the Glorious Free Republic right now. Barry is a whole foot shorter (6'9" vs. 5'9"), but he has already played and outplayed taller small forwards from other teams. This will perhaps be a tough test for both. Will Jackson show off his star power, or will Barry continue to be the "bigger-SF-slayer"?

POWER FORWARD: BROCK DOTSON (STK) vs. NEWTON ISAACS (AFT)

If Game 3 of the Rebs' quarterfinals series against the Empire of Cats Felines is any indication, then the 5'10" Isaacs can torch other teams from beyond the arc. This makes him an extra scoring threat for the Fleftics, whereas Dotson of the Surge, all 6'10" of him, will be helping out in hauling in rebounds. Look for Brock to try to block Newt's long distance attempts as well, if Newt doesn't manage to get past him first.

CENTER: JOEL POND (STK) vs. DYLAN KAPOWSKI (AFT)

Rounding out the starting five for Abanhfleft is the 5'9.5" center Dylan Kapowski, going against the seven-foot Pond in what must be the greatest height discrepancy in this series. But Dylan here belongs to the Rebs. He'll find a way against that height no matter what. As for Pond, if his height doesn't make Dylan fear him, maybe his limitless energy which allows him to leave his defenders in the dust will.

SIXTH MAN: ZACK COYLE (STK) vs. JAZZ HIGGS (AFT)

Coyle of the Surge might be quiet when it comes to scoring, but his abilities on defense tell the tale. He's there to create more scoring opportunities for the rest of the boys in purple and lime by making steals, forcing turnovers and guarding shooters. The Rebs did not list a sixth man, but if we had to choose for them, our choice will be the 7'5" half-Kanyean half-Drawkian behemoth, Jazz Higgs. Only 20, but has shown to be one of the strongest players for the blue, orange and green, given his size and his scoring and defending prowess.

And there you have it, the finalists' first five, as well as their standout sub. May this series be a good one, and as exciting as it's all hyped up to be.

IBC 23: SURGE JOLT REBS 101-75
Kanyeans take Finals Game 1 in convincing fashion

by Kelsey Ratzenberger

T.V. CITY - The St. Kanye Surge take a 1-0 series lead in the 23rd International Basketball Championships best-of-five series against the Abanhfleft Rebolusyonaryos at MaxCap Stadium in Qasden's T.V. City, winning a hundred and one points to seventy-five on a strong second half performance. Joel Pond led the rest of the Kanyean national team with 23 points, 15 rebounds and seven blocks, while both captain Leonidas "Leo" Baxter and reserve center Jazz Higgs had 20 points for Abanhfleft.

The Surge played the first game of the IBC finals in their white jerseys; the Rebs were decked out in blue. The game started with the playing of the two participating teams' national anthems, the Kanyeans' first then the Fleftics'. Pond of the Surge had no problem taking the jump ball over Dylan Kapowski of the Rebolusyonaryos, and the Kanyean center scored the first six points of the game before the Fleftics responded with a timeout, and then equalized with a three from co-captain Newton "Newt" Isaacs and another from Baxter. The Surge tried to overwhelm the Rebs like usually do when these teams play each other (six times in the last four seasons), but the Fleftics, who were at a disadvantage in the paint, decided to focus on their long-range shooting. The first quarter ended 19-17 in favor of the Kanyeans, power forward Brock Dotson's last-second tip-in providing the difference in scores.

Abanhfleft brought out their taller bench players in the second quarter, including the seven-foot-five man-mountain Jazz Higgs, whose mother Kristen (maiden name Schimp) was from the Glorious Free Republic. Higgs sparked a 15-4 run that put the Rebs at a 32-23 advantage with 7:40 left in the second quarter, which led to the Surge switching to a tall lineup to try and contain the huge center. They would cut the lead to two, 37-35 after a hook shot by Dave Samson at the 3:55 mark of the quarter. Higgs and Baxter then traded baskets with the Surge's tall lineup before the halftime buzzer sounded with the Kanyeans ahead by just three, 41-38.

The Rebs returned to their first five at the start of the third, even regaining the lead 45-43 off two free throws by Boris Barry. The Surge likewise went back to their starting unit and continued overwhelming their shorter opponents. Tighter defense from the Kanyeans meant that less shots overall fell for the Fleftics. The Surge as a whole recorded twelve blocks in this quarter, four from Pond alone, and went on runs to outscore the Rebs 25-5, for an eighteen-point third quarter lead, 68-50.

The Rebs regained their shooting form at the start of the fourth, but it was short-lived, as after they cut their deficit to nine, 72-63 off a three-point play by Baxter at the 6:11 mark, the Surge would go on a twelve-to-nothing run to make the score 84-63 in their favor. Abanhfleft tried putting their bench players back onto the floor, but they fell behind further then on a 11-2 Kanyean run to make the lead thirty, 95-65 with a little over two minutes left. Once again, the Rebs would settle for playing the Surge even the rest of the way. They cut the lead to twenty-six at the end of the game after four successive free throws by Higgs.

"We're thankful for the big win", said Kanyean head coach Anton Spoletto after the game. "We will be reviewing our performance here, see what we did right and continue it, and also see what the Rebs did wrong and force them into that", he added. "We will also continue to use our height to our advantage, just as we did against this very team several times in the past". St. Kanye's win improved their head to head record against Abanhfleft, six games to one, that lone win by the Rebs coming in the second game of the IBC 19 quarterfinals against the original Surge team that included James Blackwell and Darrell Gatson, who are both among the 3,896 Kanyeans at MaxCap Stadium for this game. "May this good start lead to a good finish", said Gatson. "We're behind the new crew all the time." The Surge will be wearing purple for tomorrow's Finals Game 2, also held here.

At Alkon Arena in Menusa, Abaja, the home team Abaja Lions stopped the Ethanese national team 96-89 to lead their own series, a three-game battle for the IBC 23 bronze medal.

Scores:

ST. KANYE 101 - Pond 23, McLain 16, Dotson 12, Jackson 12, Porter 9, Samson 7, Coyle 6, Norris 6, Schneider 4, Duff, Levy 2, Walker 2.

ABANHFLEFT 75 - Baxter 20, Higgs 20, Isaacs 10, Barry 9, Kapowski 5, Harris 4, Mankiller 3, Katatonoios 2, Guiloreza 0, Rosenkrantz 0, Simboro 0, Vidal 0.

Quarters: 19-17, 41-38, 68-50, 101-75.

Game Schedule - Finals

Matchday 1: W 101-75 vs. Abanhfleft (2)
Matchday 2: Purple Jerseys vs. Abanhfleft (2)
Matchday 3: White Jerseys vs. Abanhfleft (2)
Matchday 4 (if needed): Purple Jerseys vs. Abanhfleft (2)
Matchday 5 (if needed): White Jerseys vs. Abanhfleft (2)

The finals will be televised live through SKYNET (Saint KanYe NETwork) Sports Channel 12; the third place series will be shown delayed. All games streamed live on ibc-tv.stk.

works? · by **Abanhfleft** » Tue Apr 25, 2017 11:10 am

The Interceptors: The Enemy Within, Part Two

"This is outrageous, completely outrageous. This is simply unbelievable! This is shameful!"

"Calm down, man! It's just one game!"

"Yeah, it's just one game! That's how it always starts! Game one is the game where people can see how far they can bend the rules with regards with making our country lose. And look at the fucking results, man! We lost by 26 points! 26 fucking points! How is that supposed to be possible?! We're supposed to be one of the best defensive teams in this tournament and now we've done and lost game one of the finals by 26 points? I'm telling you, man, the conspiracy is real!"

"Calm the hell down, man! Calm your fucking tits before they explode! You said it yourself; anger is not going to solve this problem. This requires a highly visible solution. Now I know that it's your bright idea to bring the Yeezie all the way to this place while the rest of the world is busy looking for her in Riuwiee, and I think so far we've made it work. This 'Foreign Legion' by the Cats is sweeping the capital searching for us, you were right about that. But they're never going to find us here."

"I told you I was going to be right about that. That's why I'm the smart guy and you're the muscle. Anyway, this is just more proof of the evil cabal dedicated to keeping our country down. And it's not just us they're trying to bring down; anyone and everyone in our sphere of influence from Oontaz to the Fhulghamous to even those fucking commies from Pridnestrovia are losing their games just because they're affiliated with us. Look at Pridnestrovia in the Copa Rushmori. They lost in a fucking penalty shootout when they've proven that they're masters at that thing. And in the Sporting World Cup, we lost the final once again, and to Anglatia of all people once again! And let's not forget that moment when we lost to fucking Bvriania in the Rugby World Cup! That shit's not possible in a fair world. I'm telling you, man, there are people really trying to keep us down."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before. But you seem to be forgetting one thing: Drawkland defeated us in the Handball World Cup as well. What do you say to that?"

"Ah, nobody cares about handball anyway. It's the real games like soccer and basketball and rugby where the forces that be are really working hard to make sure that we never win fucking anything. I'm telling you, man, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of them trying to keep us down. It's high time that we revealed them to the rest of the world so that they could finally be made to pay for their despicable actions against us."

"Yeah, yeah, marvelous, bravo. You've inspired me. Now, I know that it's just 24 hours since we made our announcement. There's still 48 hours left before our deadline but we need to do something to make the authorities work faster in stripping the Yeezies of their ranks and titles. What are we going to do with the woman?"

"Looks like she needs her glasses to see. Why don't we take that away from her, and we'll also cut her rations? At the rate she's eating, we're going to get starved out before the 48 hours are up."

"Hah. Fuck the Yeezies. Fuck the Cats. Fuck Bvriania. Fuck Anglatia and their entitled brat teenage footballers. Abanhfleft is the best; they just don't want to accept it for as long as they can."

T.V. City, Qadsen

There were a lot of bars in T.V. City catering to the thousands of basketball fans who had gathered there to watch the highly-anticipated finals between Abanhfleft and Saint Kanye in the 23rd International Basketball Championships. Most of these bars were family-friendly places, welcome and open to anyone and everyone, kind of like the sports bar where Jazz Higgs of Abanhfleft, Teresa Rolde of the Empire of Cats, and Victor McLain of Saint Kanye met up and established a friendship with each other which would eventually grow and expand to include the entirety of the nations they represented. However, there was one bar in T.V. City in which the likes of Jazz, Teresa, and Victor would never be caught dead in, or at the very least they would not go into that bar because it was populated with what were euphemistically called as "unsavory types."

For that bar was a biker bar. It was frequented by the local chapter of a wide-reaching motorcycle club with its roots in Abanhfleft, and the capital city of Riuwiee in particular, the Huns Motorcycle Club. The Huns were one of the oldest motorcycle clubs in Abanhfleft and prided themselves on being the owners of the country's capital city, Riuwiee. Because of its age, the Huns had a very far reach with chapters in every country within the Fleftic sphere of influence as well as countries definitely far away from and not part of the aforementioned sphere of influence. Qasden was one of those countries in which Huns chapters had just been recently established, having appeared on Fleftic maps only very recently. The Huns were like their historical counterparts, aggressively expansionist. The only difference between the Hun hordes and the Hun bikers was that the hordes ravaged those in their way and moved on while the Hun bikers went to one place and were often there to stay.

The Qasdenian Huns had gathered in this bar to celebrate the establishment of their latest chapter in the country, the T.V. City chapter. Three Huns from Abanhfleft had been sent to T.V. City to confirm the chapter's entrance into the greater Huns family and also to swear the chapter's allegiance to the MC and its international president, the man known only as the Doctor.

It was easy to tell if a person was a member of the Huns. He (or in some cases, she) would be wearing a leather vest over their clothes. The back of this vest was dominated by a hand-sewn patch depicting a grinning skull with an Oriental Fu Manchu-style facial hair, a German pickelhaube spiked helmet on the top of its head, and a scimitar clutched between its teeth. On top of this patch was the word HUNS in large capital letters, while below the skull patch was another patch bearing the name of the member's chapter. Most of the Huns in this bar had the words T.V. CITY sewn below their skull patches, but the three Fleftics who had sworn them into the club bore patches with the word RIUWIEE below their patches, indicating that they came from the capital of Abanhfleft and the heartland of Huns territory.

These three Fleftic Huns in Qasden made a very strange bunch. Their leader was a black-haired, blue-eyed 35-year-old known by most by his road name of Attila, and he was the president of his local Huns chapter within Riuwiee. His companions were a willowy raven-haired woman with arched eyebrows and a stocky blonde with a very girly face, known only as Countess and Kid. They were the three members of the Sapang Bato chapter of the Huns in Riuwiee, and they were also some of the most trusted members of the organization, at least according to the Doctor's book. If there was any group of people whom the Doctor could trust to get an entire probationary chapter into the MC without fear of being backstabbed, it was Attila and his girls, Countess and Kid.

The T.V. City chapter of the Huns having already been sworn into the club, the members were now celebrating their inclusion into the biggest outlaw biker club in Abanhfleft by being regaled by stories from Attila about their days fighting their numerous rivals in both Riuwiee and the rest of Abanhfleft. "All right, so get this, guys," Attila said to an enraptured crowd of Qasdenian bikers. "This guy, the leader of our rivals the Incisors, he's the only guy still left standing after we lured his gang into a trap. He's fucking terrified, the guy was. He's looking around nervously, jumping at shadows. He would've fired his gun if he still had ammo. Then, when the timing's just right, I step out of the shadows, RPG in my hand, and I say to the bastard, 'The Doctor sends his regards,' and I fire the RPG from the hip and the last I saw of him was with a fucking RPG warhead sticking out of his chest before he got blown out of the window and blown to bits."

"So this rival of yours, the Incisors, do they still pose a threat after that ambush you made?" the leader of the T.V. City Huns, a thickset man called Speedo, asked Attila.

"Nope, not anymore," Attila replied. "Weren't you asshats listening? We wiped out every single one of the Incisors back then! No one's going to be posing a threat to our Wanda Island chapters anymore after that display."

"Hear, hear!" the Qasdenians shouted, and then they toasted Attila with their beers. Attila, Countess, and Kid graciously accepted their new Qasdenian compatriots' salutes before they downed their beers. As they did so, Attila felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He put down his bottle and took out his phone, which was ringing. The caller was an unlisted number, but Attila knew exactly who it was. "Hang on, guys, I gotta take this," he said to the others, raising his phone so that they understood what he meant. "This is quite important. Kid, Countess, keep our new brothers entertained."

"Will do, Attila," Kid replied. Attila slipped out of the bar and into a deserted alley before answering his phone. "What is it now?" he asked.

"We need to talk. Someplace private. Do you know a place?"

"Yeah, yeah, I think I know a place." Attila then gave the caller the address of a place in a less-populated part of T.V. City.

"All right. I'll be there in fifteen." The caller then hung up unceremoniously. Attila looked at his phone, considered saying a goodbye to a call that had long been ended, and then he decided to pocket his phone and again and walk back into the bar. As he walked in, he saw that two of the Qasdenian prospects (aspiring members of the MC who were made to do the full members' bidding as part of their initiation into full membership into the club) were now duking it out in the middle of the bar, apparently at the instigation of Countess and Kid. "Oh, hey, Attila," Countess called out once she saw that Attila had returned to the bar. "You just missed out on all the fun. Kiddo and I though we'd have some fun with the local prospects so now we got Clanker and Bogart fighting in front of their own chapter. Anyway, who called you? Is it about your own kid?"

"No, it's something else entirely," Attila replied. "It's work-related. They need the three of us over at the quiet part of town."

"Oh, snap," Kid muttered, having made her way to the conversation while the Qasdenian bikers were busy watching their prospects punch each other up.

"I'll handle this," Attila told her, and then he walked up to the fighting prospects and physically separated. "All right, everybody listen up!" he called out. "No one speaks until I'm done talking! Now here's the deal: it's been a long night, and some of us are not as young as we used to be. Fighting and drinking is all well and good, of course, but unless we get some rest then we're going to come crashing down in flames. My girls and I are going to have a little nightcap now. What you boys do with your lives is up to you. Just remember, when the Huns call, you better be ready to answer. Good night, boys!"

"Nice exit speech, by the way," Kid said as she, Attila, and Countess mounted their bikes in preparation for setting off.

"It's the best I could do," Attila shrugged off. "Besides, I'm a chapter president, and the Doctor trusts me. They in turn trust me as well. It actually makes me sad to think about what we've been sent here to do in the first place." Attila then turned on his bike's engine and roared off. Countess and Kid quickly followed suit and then they set off for the seedier part of town. They arrived there in fifteen minutes, and when they got there, a large Rolls-Royce was waiting for them. The Rolls' windows were tinted but there was still enough transparency in ths windshield that they could tell that a woman with long brown hair was at the wheel.

A man eventually stepped out of the Rolls and he stepped into the light of the headlights. As soon as Attila recognized him, he called out, "Well, well, well, if it isn't the Interceptor himself. Geronimo Amadeus Anthony in the flesh. What brings you here to our little corner of Qasden? I thought you would have sent out your Oontaznik artist here to meet with us."

"Well, I had to see this Attila in person," Gerry Anthony replied. "Daniel James Linkletter, right? You've spent nine years undercover with the Huns for the RBI. I just had to see such a legendary agent for myself."

"And now you've seen me. Now, what's it you wanted to talk about?"

"I think you already know why I'm here, Attila," Gerry replied. "I'm sure you've heard of the Yeezie ambassador who was kidnapped by some of our more, ahem, mentally unbalanced fans."

"Hah! The way our teams play, it's so easy for us to hope and start believing. But like they always say, it's the hope that kills. So, what do you want to know?"

"What we want to know is if you or your new friends have seen something suspicious going on right here in T.V. City."

"Does that mean that you've really narrowed down the captors' location to here in Qasden?" Attila asked incredulously.

"Yeah, I know, it's a miracle," Gerry said with every bit of sarcasm that he could manage. "Unofficially, we already know they're somewhere in T.V. City. Officially, one of the Catsian soldiers in Riuwiee captured a guy who might know something about the abduction. They found a plane ticket to Qasden in the guy's apartment. We're still trying to keep the Cats from spilling the beans just yet so they don't alert our quarry. I was thinking that maybe you could talk to your new friends about this, see if they've seen any newcomers hanging around?"

"Well, you just hit a very lucky break," Attila said. "These guys we just accepted into the club, they've got connections. Already they got us tickets to the IBC finals. They know people, I'm telling you. All right. I'll ask around. I'm sure at least one of them knows something about this."

"I really hope so, Attila. The fate of the friendship of three nations hangs in the balance here."

by **Qasden** » Tue Apr 25, 2017 7:22 pm

CUTOFFtality. Now get ready, for MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!

Ethane 82-73 Abja

Series Tied, 1-1
@Alkón Arena, Menusa

by **Abaja** » Tue Apr 25, 2017 7:44 pm

IBC 23 FINALS GAME 2
Qasdonian Side

FINALS game 2.Let's get 'em

Abanhfleft 79 - 82 Saint Kanye

Saint Kanye leads series 2-0
@MaxCap Stadium, T.V. City

by **Abaja** » Tue Apr 25, 2017 11:19 pm

International Basketball Championships XXIII

Terror in Queens, Abaja drops Game 2

- By Amina Ogwu

BREAKING NEWS

Two huge tragedies stuck the famous city of Queens last night, where two shooters by the names of Mustafa Allan and Malik Issisi approached a bar during the Abaja-Ethane game 2 match in the third place playoff. The shooters opened fire at 50-60 people who were in the bar, and killed 9 people. Twenty two others were shot and injured, with many being in critical condition. Victims and witnesses say that there were about 40 shots that went off, aiming at any moving thing. The youngest of the victims was a sixteen year old male,
who died in the shooting. The oldest was a sixty three year old man who is currently in critical condition. Right after the game ended - or 33 minutes after the shooting, police arrived and arrested both suspects.When they arrived they noted that they "Saw shattered glass, bullet holes,
bloody floors, people limping and others scurrying." The two shooters were both in their twenties, aged twenty two and twenty six.

The streets were flooded with ambulance trucks and hauled in all victims after the massacre. Two unidentified Ethanese, who came to the city to visit, were also killed, with one more injured. It was said by the Queens Police Department that the two shooters were Abajan and not foreign and the reason why they opened fire is completely unknown. One witness stated that "me and my friend were watching the game against the Ethanese, and then I heard a large banging - banging on the door. A few seconds later I heard spraying bullets and shattered glass. Everyone was panicking, trampling eachother. Two men walked in in a black jacket, black gloves, [black] masks... black everything. I told my friend to duck down under the table, but he did not listen. He wanted to see what was happening and a bullet went into his leg. He went to [the] hospital as I carried him to the ambulance truck."

Though this tragedy was traumatizing for many, it isn't really shocking. Queens isn't exactly the safest place in Abaja, as shootings like this have happened before, just not in large injury/fatality numbers of nine and twenty two. Shortly after the wailing of the ambulance trucks and police cars seized, people stood around, with hands over their mouths and tears in their eyes. However, this was not this was not the only tragedy in the city.

About one-to-two hours after the shooting, more fatalities come to the city, this time with a huge bombing near downtown Queens. The usually-busy street went empty after bombs exploded two local stores in North Street. The bombings killed at least 6 people and left others severely injured, as more ambulance trucks and fire trucks got busy in the area. It is not known yet if this suspected terror attack was led by the two shooters, Mustafa Allán and Malik Issisi. Smoke covered the black sky, while a large fire lit up the block. The Abajan President is yet to get the information on neither on the incidents, but when he does, we would expect him to at least shut down certain areas of the city until futrther notice, as he did with Kuclaii in 2016, where multiple neighborhoods were attacked. Right now, we do not have much information on the incidents, but tomorrow will hopefully be different as we gather more facts on the horror scenes.

ETHANE

ABAJA

82 - 73

Don't miss out! Watch the Abaja-Ethane game at the Alkón Arena (Game 3)

The Welch-less Lions won game one of the third place playoff against Ethane 96-89, with Jacob Nessal again leading the team with 26 points. Sadly, the same did not happen last night, as the Abaja Lions choked away a possible sweeping of #3 ranked Ethane. Now being 1-1, head coach Yuhan Anekwe had some words to say after the game. "I feel as if though this team can get too confident some times. I mean, It's not like don't want them to be confident - of course I do. But, just because you beat a team without a key player does not always mean you will beat the team over and over again with the same or less effort put on the court. Just look at this nonsense. We've only put up 73 points. That's like what? Our second or third lowest amount of points scored by us in this entire tournament? I think our defense needs to tighten up more, and our offense needs to go back to how it was in game 1. Within two games we have given up 171 points to a team that doesn't even score much. That's too much for me. We want to keep these people under 80 points, or maybe even under 70. We are this close to getting the bronze, and I don't know about y'all, but I want that fucking bronze. We are not leaving our people without something here." Armani Welch will not play for game 3 against Ethane as he is out for 1-2 weeks with an ankle sprain that he got in game 2 against Saint Kanye in the semi-finals around the second quarter. This means that #3 Stephen Érénshé will take his place as starter as he did this game.

The first quarter started off lopsided as Ethane built up a 9-0 lead within the first few minutes, with 2 three pointers made by Ethane's Andrew Steven-Pauls and an and-one by Anderson, after sneaking past Abajan center Joseph Olu who tried wrapping him up, but instead let up an and-one play. Abaja would bounce back pretty quickly, with a quick dunk from Pápá Mouyre with an assist from Jacob Nessal. Nessal would then get a steal from Ethane's Kevin Stacey and lay it up easily off the glass on a 1-0 fast break. A few minutes after the play, Joseph Olu hustles to get a rebound over Samuel Anderson after Stephen Érénshé's missed three and puts it back in. With a couple minutes left in the first quarter of play, Ethane leads the Lions 18-13. Mouyre would then knock down a three from the corner to cut the lead to two. Ethane won the first quarter, as they held a 19-18 lead over Abaja. The Lions decide to turn on the heat in the second quarter, with back-to-back buckets by Jacob Nessal and a three from Michael Dísung, who subbed in for Pápá Mouyre. The Ethanese could not respond, as Lewis Oswalds gets stripped by Joseph Olu who passes it up to Alanye R'Andi for the vicious slam dunk. Andrew Steven-Pauls then dribbled up the court, took a three point shot, and made it. Head Coach Yuhan Anekwe called timeout and would switch Jola Nicholson for Alanye R'Andi and Calvin Anelé for Jacob Nessal. With 3 minutes left in the second quarter, Abaja went on another run, with Nicholson scoring a lay-up plus the foul for a three point play, and Stephen Érénshé would throw an alley-oop to Joseph Olu to put the Lions in the lead 38-33 near the end of the half. A few more good plays from both teams capped off the half of game 2 in the 3rd place match.

At the half, the Lions led the Ethanese 41-35. At the start of the third quarter, both teams basically subbed in their whole bench. For Abaja,
it was Érénshé at PG, Anele at SG, Ojeije at SF, Nicholson at PF, and Olu at center. The Lions would again start slumpy, giving up back to back buckets against Ethane's Jordan Summers and Roy Underwood. Calvin Anele would hit a three, but that would be the only shot he would make in the quarter, going 1-5 in the third. Ethane would continue to attack, cutting the lead in a short amount of time after a three from Henry Tellersom. Stephen Érénshé would then get the ball stolen from him by Tellersom, as he tried driving to the rim. When Tellersom was about to pass it up to his teammate Jordan Summers, Érénshé tipped the ball out of his hand, regained possession, popped a three and drained it. Halfway through the third quarter, both teams make changes on the court, with head coach Yuhan Anekwe putting in Damian Marakwo for Érénshé, Michael Dísung for Mathew Ojeije, and Alanye R'Andi for Jola Nicholson. Marakwo would start off his game with a turnover, as his pass gets intercepted by Andrew Steven-Pauls, though he would throw the ball out of bounds later on. Marakwo redeemed him self, tough, with a tough lay-up at the buzzer. Now, at the end of the third, Ethane regains their lead 65-59. Abaja made a giant run in the fourth, going on a 11-0 run, with 7 of those points being responsible from Alanye R'Andi, who got a slam dunk on a fast break after a block from Joseph Olu, a mid-range jumper, and an easy layup off the assist from Jacob Nessal. Stephen Érénshé would continue the run with another three, to put the Lions up 70-65 with 6 minutes left. Now starting to get a bit comfortable (why? you're only up by five!), the Lions lay off on defense, which was probably the biggest mistake they could make against a squad. At the last 6 minutes of the game, Ethane went on a whopping 17-3 run to secure their 9 point victory and win the second game of the third place play off. With the bronze on the line, Head Coach Yuhan Anekwe is conditioning his players so that they can get in the best shape possible in order to steal game 3 against Ethane.

COMMENTS • 415,579
Top Comments • New Comments

Duzl - April 25, 10:55 PM
@BobbHl, Callahan is literally the shittiest city in the world. Most murders in the country and the people there can barely afford water.
Reply • Like (6492) • Dislike (3019)

Kingsley01 - April 25, 11:12 PM
Typical violent northern idiots. #SaveQueens
Reply • Like (6314) • Dislike (291)

BobbHl - April 25, 10:33 PM
THIS s what happens when you choose a crook filled shit hole city such a Queens to host a tournament! Now 2 foregners are killed. Callahan would've made a wayyy better host city!
Reply • Like (5820) • Dislike (3383)

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works? · by **Abanhfleft** » Wed Apr 26, 2017 9:37 am

The Interceptors: The Enemy Within, Part Three

"One second left in this fourth quarter of game two of the finals of the 23rd International Basketball Championships. Abanhfleft must score from range if they want to force overtime and stop Saint Kanye from taking a commanding two-game lead. Jazz Higgs will inbound. He searches for the open man, and he shifts it to Leo Baxter. The clock is ticking. Leo can't get himself in open space. He passes it to Newt Isaacs, who's at the top of the three-point arc once again, and he goes for the three! Oh! And he's missed the three-pointer, and that's game over for Abanhfleft. Game two goes to Saint Kanye, and the Surge now hold a two-game lead in the finals of the 23rd International Basketball Championships. Abanhfleft will have to rally really hard and go for broke in game three, which has now become a do-or-die game for the Rebolusyonaryos or else that's the end of their title dreams once again--"

"Argh! Enough of this shit! I've had enough! I'm done! I can't take any more of this bullshit! The more I see how Saint Kanye overpower us, the more I'm tempted just to do away with the Yeezie woman and get it over with!"

"Calm down, man! You're letting your anger get the better of you once again! We must remain calm. The time will come when we will finally show the cabal that they were wrong to keep denying Abanhfleft the trophies that we so richly deserve. In 24 hours we will finally show the Yeezies what happens to those who try to steal titles from the rightful winners and give them to those who don't deserve it. Anyway, we have only 24 hours left before we have to make good on our promise. Where's Ricardo?"

"I just called him a few minutes ago. He says the fuzz are still turning Riuwiee upside down looking for us."

"Good, good. That means our little ploy is still working. Now all we need to do is get Ricardo here so that we're ready when the 24 hours are up. Does he already know where we are?"

"No, not really. I decided not to tell him in case someone got lucky and they nabbed him. It's called 'compartmentalization, you know. That way even if they get him, he can't tell them where we are until it's too late for our good friend the Yeezie ambassador."

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, have you seen the bikers running around this place?"

"Yeah. Fucking Huns. They give me the creeps every time they ride down these streets. I'm never sure if they might just suddenly bust down the door and grab the ambassador, either in a fit of patriotism and righteousness or if they just want to grab a ransom for themselves."

"Yeah, I'm not so sure about that. The Huns might be criminals but they're still patriots. They're all into international cooperation, that sort of thing. I wouldn't be surprised if the Huns are here setting up new groups--what do these bikers call 'em, chapters? I wouldn't even be surprised if the Huns already have a bunch of chapters here in Qasden, over in Abaja, or even in Saint Kanye and the Empire of Cats. Disgusting. They claim to be patriots but they'll freely associate with these kinds of nations. I want to spit at them just for that."

"Don't worry, man, you will have your chance to spit at Saint Kanye and the Cats. We just have to wait for one more day."

"One more day in which Abanhfleft might just lose yet another title to someone who doesn't deserve it."

"No one's forcing you to watch shit."

"But I have to watch the team. I have to support them even if I'm not there physically supporting them from the stands."

"Don't worry about supporting the team, man. Tomorrow, they will see just how much we support their yearly struggle for recognition against the nefarious forces trying to keep us from winning anything."

Fyodor Kiselev-Shyakhtor Building
Headquarters of the Republican Bureau of Investigation
700 Koba-Nekevsky Avenue
Riuwiee, Abanhfleft

"Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on?" Director Eva Soriano of the Republican Bureau of Investigation asked as she walked down the wood-paneled hallway to her office. Walking beside her was Cassius Kevorkian, a long-time member of the Bureau and another rising star alongside Soriano, at least before his career was sidelined by accusations of fraternization with a fellow agent (accusations which mostly came from said agent, who was already a little "unhinged" to begin with and had soon developed an obsession with Kevorkian after the two of them worked together on a case). The charges were soon found to be fake and the case was dropped, but Kevorkian's reputation had already been tarnished, and he was soon sidelined and forgotten, at least until Gerry Anthony came along with The Interceptors and revived what had been Kevorkian's floundering career.

"I don't have all the details yet, Director," Kevorkian said as he was ushered into Soriano's office. "But apparently one of the Catsian soldiers sent here alongside their Foreign Legion followed this man into his apartment and, after hearing the man talk to someone on the phone about the Kanyean ambassador, this soldier decided to go into the apartment and arrest the man."

"Okay, Vorky, I'm still with you," Soriano said as she sat down and ran a hand through her long black hair. "Now what's the problem?"

"Director Yazenev of the FNP's throwing a hissy fit, Director," Kevorkian replied. "He's throwing around words like 'jurisdiction,' 'foreign intervention,' 'illegal arrest of a Fleftic citizen.' You know, the usual fare."

Soriano snorted at Kevorkian's remark. Director-General Yakov Yazenev of the Fleftic National Police, the overall commander of all of Abanhfleft's police forces, was known to have very opinionated views on how he was running his policemen and was very touchy when it came to such things as his jurisdiction and that of the RBI. He and the police cooperated with the RBI when it came to the important things like solving crime and such, but sometimes he would let his temper get the better of him and he would keep trying to establish some kind of "inter-service rivalry" between the RBI and the FNP. Soriano, for her part, had warned her agents not to indulge Yazenev too much with the rivalry.

"President Novoire had to intervene between Yazenev and the Catsians," Kevorkian continued. "He was really throwing a tantrum, Director. There's no other way of saying it. He was right up that Catsian general's face, trying to get them to answer why they would think they're entitled to arrest a Fleftic citizen on Fleftic soil when they're not Fleftics themselves?"

"Typical Yakov, Vorky," Soriano said. "Anyway, where's the guy the Cats captured?"

"The deal that the President made was that the FNP could arrest the man officially," Kevorkian said. "And now he's in one of our interrogation rooms. I think Ellie's working on him right now." Ellie Quest, while not necessarily the Interceptors' interrogation expert, was widely recognized as the team's expert with words, specifically the spoken word, and she was most often tasked with talking to suspects to uncover information about them.

"All right, what do we know about this guy?" Soriano asked.

"His name is Ricardo Fujiwhara. He served his mandatory four years, then volunteered for two more years. He fought in Mezaladbyi and Verbergerkinnh, eventually getting recruited by the MSS for one of their 'counter-insurgency squads'. With the MSS, he picked up such impressive skills such as 'tactical interrogation' and other such epithets for torture. The fact that he's in contact with at least one of the kidnappers of Ambassador Dirnt--?"

"We've already confirmed that?" Soriano asked in surprise.

"You know Dench, Director," Kevorkian said, referring to the Interceptors' "resident combat technologist" Dennis "Dench" Messi. "As soon as Fujiwhara's phone landed on his lap, he's already tracing the last known locations of his most recent calls. Of course, there's the chance that they're using disposables or are using some kind of cell hopper, but we're at least somewhat confident that the kidnappers are indeed in T.V. City in Qasden with Ambassador Dirnt. Anyway, as I was saying, the fact that a person such as Ricardo Fujiwhara, who has a background in torture thanks to the MSS College of Brutality, is in contact with at least one of Ambassador Dirnt's kidnappers suggests to me--and by that, I mean Gab de Galicia--that those 'drastic measures' they plan on carrying out on the ambassador when their deadline is up involves torture at the very least."

"That's not good," Soriano mused. "That's never good. All right. How far along is Ellie with her Q&A with Fujiwhara?"

"I wouldn't say that Fujiwhara is singing like a canary--the MSS is good at that too--but he's certainly talking a lot more than the MSS would have liked him to if he was still working with them. But so far, we have confirmed that the ambassador is in T.V. City along with her captors. Gab is already coordinating with the Foreign Legion and the Yeezus Crew on how we're going to rescue Ambassador Dirnt, and we're already in contact with some of our counterparts in Qasden as well to coordinate this operation."

"Good, good, very good. As much as I hate to see Abanhfleft lose, the loss will be dulled by the fact that if we can save the ambassador, we will have gained new friends internationally. Go do what you do best, Vorky. And tell Gerry that my prayers, the prayers of everyone in Abanhfleft, Saint Kanye, and the Empire of Cats, are with you and your people."

"Of course, ma'am."

by **Saint Kanye** » Wed Apr 26, 2017 10:11 am

OOC: Empire of Cats did allow me to use the "Odd Odds" format for my own RP. He said so in the International Basketball OOC Thread.

DIRNT SEARCH PARTY MOVES TO QASDEN

Fleftic authorities force ambassador's location out of alleged kidnappers' accomplice

by Rodward Flynn

RIUWIEE - Operatives of the Kanyean National Armed Forces' "Yeezus Crew" spec-ops group met with Catsian counterparts the Foreign Legion and agents of Abanhfleft's Republican Bureau of Investigation (RBI) in the Fleftic capital to discuss the recently-acquired information regarding the disappearance of Kanyean ambassador to the Empire of Cats, Nina Dirnt.

The Foreign Legion yesterday captured a Fleftic national by the name of Ricardo Fujiwhara just as he was making a phone call to what was believed to be Ambassador Dirnt's captors. The Legion turned Fujiwhara in to the RBI for interrogation, where information was gotten pointing to Dirnt's location being in T.V. City, Qasden, site of the 23rd International Basketball Championships finals, currently being contested by St. Kanye and Abanhfleft.

"We head to Qasden ASAP. From what this Fujiwhara guy has told the RBI, it is highly likely that his associates will torture Ms. Dirnt if their demands are not met in 72 hours, according to their video. But that video was released two days ago. We have less than one day to work with before the time is up", said a Yeezus Crew member who wished to remain anonymous. He was referring to the video released by Ambassador Dirnt's kidnappers, members of the group called the "Real Fans of Abanhfleft" wherein they said that drastic measures will be taken if St. Kanye's rank and titles in world basketball are not voided.

The Crew, Legion and RBI hope to coordinate with Qasdonian police prior to conducting their search and rescue mission.

ODD ODDS: IBC 23 FINALS EDITION

by Kelsey Ratzenberger

Article name and format used with permission from the Catstantinople Dispatch

Many Kanyeans love to gamble when it comes to sports results. Mostly it's just which team will win, by how many, how big the scores will be, and the like. In this article, we look at some results that we bet people will not bet on, unless they're both incredibly rich and incredibly insane, that is.

SURGE AND REBS PLAYERS SUDDENLY BREAK INTO SONG - 100 million to 1

What if Victor McLain and Jazz Higgs do an encore of "Don't Stop Believing", right in the middle of a game, with all the other players and everyone else joining in? That's very possible - if they were in a movie. But this is not the feel good sports movie of the year, nor a sports roleplay in an internet forum. This is real life. And the Kanyeans and Fleftics are way too serious about basketball to disrupt a game like that.

ZOMBIE INVASION! - 1 billion to 1

The KNAF (Kanyean National Armed Forces) are here to provide security for the games, as well as the Qasdonian police. We're sure they'll blast any member of the undead to pieces with their high-powered guns before they even cause harm to the teams and their audience.

LEO BAXTER DRINKS MAGIC POTION, GROWS 50 FEET TALL - 60 billion to 1

The Rebs' Leonidas "Leo" Baxter may be considered small in basketball at 5'7", but he knows what it takes to win big. We doubt he'd take a shortcut to sporting success in the form of extra height, or if a potion that grants the drinker such a thing really exists. If it does, then we'll be happy to test it out. Not the Surge. Us here at the Kibitzer. Imagine how much the other newspapers would fear us! Hahahaha!

BLACK HOLE SWALLOWS MAXCAP STADIUM WHOLE - 450 billion to 1

Whether naturally or at the hands of an evil basketball-hating scientist, there's virtually no way that this will happen.

IBC 23: SURGE GO UP 2-0 IN FINALS BY NOSING OUT REBS
Ethanese equalize against Lions to force do-or-die battle for third

by Ray Wright

T.V. CITY - "Wins are wins. Big or small, we'll take it. We played our guts out for it. We'll continue to give it our all for tomorrow", said St. Kanye Surge assistant coach Bernard Foley after his boys in purple and lime outlasted the Abanhfleft Rebolusyonaryos, 82-79, to win Game 2 of their 23rd International Basketball Championships finals series, a five-game affair. St. Kanye now holds a 2-0 lead in the series, with them also winning the opener yesterday, 101-75. Captain Josh Jackson led the scoring for the Surge with 17 points, five rebounds and six assists. Leo Baxter was the Rebs' highest pointer with 24, followed by Jazz Higgs with 16 points off the bench. Jan Harris and Newton Isaacs, who could have sent the game into overtime if his desperation three-pointer hadn't rolled out at the buzzer, both had ten points.

Abanhfleft put the 7'5" Jazz Higgs in at starting center, in place of 5'9.5" Dylan Kapowski. Higgs won the jump ball over Kanyean center Joel Pond, and the Rebs scored the first two points of the game with a running layup by Baxter. The Surge then scored two of their own, with Michael Porter spinning away from Baxter's defense for his own layup shot. Then Fleftic power forward Isaacs made a three-pointer, and Kanyean shooting guard Victor McLain responded with his own trey, and the scoring showdown was on. With the score a 16-all deadlock at the 2:27 mark of the first quarter, the Rebs called a timeout. They put the rest of their taller second unit in, and they helped the Fleftics go on a 9-1 run to finish the quarter, as they took the lead 25-17.

It was the Surge's turn to bring in their substitutes as the second quarter started, putting in Jayvon Duff to help McLain (who moved to PG) with scoring, and Dave Samson at power forward, also as a scoring option (original starting PF Brock Dotson moved to center). The Kanyeans were able to catch up with the Fleftics, taking a one-point lead 30-29 after Duff's fadeaway three over the Rebs' Gregory Mankiller with 7:07 remaining in the quarter. The lead see-sawed several times before St. Kanye would momentarily pull away with an eight-to-nothing run, but after back-to-back baskets by Abanhfleft, the Kanyean lead was cut to two, 46-44, at halftime.

Both teams focused more on defense for the third quarter, as both the Fleftics and the Kanyeans tried to get steals and blocks off the other team. Neither team scored for the first few minutes of the third, before a thirteen-foot jumper by Samson made the score 48-44 with the Surge still in front, with 6:17 remaining in the quarter. However, two successive Fleftic baskets, both by Higgs, made it a 48-all tie at the 5:02 mark. The two teams missed a total of 26 shots (14 for the Fleftics, 12 for the Kanyeans) in this quarter as it ended with both teams at 58 points apiece.

The teams' tight D and offensive struggles both continued in the fourth quarter, although Abanhfleft was able to start a run that gave them a seven-point advantage with three minutes left in the game, 77-70. However, the Kanyeans were able to make those needed seven points to make it a tied game at the 1:20 mark, after Dotson grabbed a rebound off his own miss and went for a reverse layup. The Fleftics then had possession and the chance to retake the lead, but SG Jan Harris missed a mid-range shot, and the Kanyeans rebounded. They, too, would not manage to increase their score with their possession, as Jackson coughed the ball up on a double-team by Baxter and Harris. Harris threw the ball to Isaacs at the three-point line. Seeing Kanyean defenders closing in, Isaacs drove to the hoop, with Dotson in pursuit. Dotson tried to block Isaacs' shot from behind, but accidentally elbowed the Fleftic and got called for a foul.

Isaacs was awarded two free throws, and he made both, to put the Rebs up 79-77 with 0:46 left to play. The Surge called a timeout, and then equalized once more, after Jackson, hounded by Baxter and Rebs small forward Boris Barry, connected with reserve SG Duff on an overhead pass for a long two. Only 33 seconds remain in the game now. The Fleftics decided to run down the game clock, having Baxter shoot with just ten seconds remaining. The Fleftic captain's shot traced a perfect arc from the left corner of the court to the hoop. The pro-Abanhfleft crowd roared in delight over the go-ahead three, until the referee blew his whistle and waved his hands. The three-pointer was negated. Baxter had actually stepped out of the bounds of the court before taking his shot, which meant that the score was still tied, and St. Kanye now had possession.

The Surge put four guys along the three-point line, with only center Pond on the inside. At the five-second mark and knowing that Abanhfleft has no more timeouts, McLain (still at PG with Duff at SG) put up a three from directly in front of the basket. Dotson ran to the inside to help Pond rebound if ever the shot doesn't fall. But it did, nothing but net. The Surge are now leading by three, 82-79, with just 3.5 seconds left. Higgs inbounded quickly for the Rebs, getting it to Baxter. The Fleftic captain was immediately double-teamed, and he saw an open Isaacs waving for the ball. Baxter threw a bounce pass to his co-captain, and with a single second and change left in the game Isaacs sent the ball flying with a flick of the wrist. The ball met the rim and rolled around its edge as both teams looked on. Just as the buzzer sounded to mark the end of the game, the ball fell away and out of the net. The white-clad Fleftics fell to their knees while the Kanyeans, in purple, raised their arms up in joy as the 3,813 Kanyean fans at Qasden's MaxCap Stadium cheered on.

In a separate press conference held hours after the game, Surge head coach Anton Spoletto said, "We're 2-0 now, and I think that is a very dangerous place to be. We must play the next game as if it was a do-or-die match, with even more intensity than we showed so far. Every shot, every possession, every little thing must count if we want to grab the win tomorrow." The Kanyeans will go back to their white uniforms for tomorrow's Finals Game 3.

Meanwhile, at Alkon Arena in Menusa, Abaja, the Ethanese national basketball team won Game 2 of their third place playoff series, 82-73, over an Abaja Lions team who's still without starting PG Armani Welch. Welch suffered a sprained ankle during the co-hosts' semifinals Game 2 match against the Surge three days ago. Ethane's win meant that a Game 3 will be needed tomorrow to decide who gets the IBC 23 bronze medal.

Scores:

ST. KANYE 82 - Jackson 17, McLain 16, Pond 13, Porter 10, Dotson 8, Duff 7, Samson 7, Levy 2, Schneider 2, Coyle 0, Norris 0, Walker 0.

ABANHFLEFT 79 - Baxter 24, Higgs 16, Harris 10, Isaacs 10, Kapowski 8, Barry 5, Guiloreza 2, Katatonoios 2, Simboro 2, Mankiller 0, Rosenkrantz 0, Vidal 0.

Quarters: 17-25, 46-44, 58-58, 82-79.

Game Schedule - Finals

Matchday 1: W 101-75 vs. Abanhfleft (2)
Matchday 2: W 82-79 vs. Abanhfleft (2)
Matchday 3: White Jerseys vs. Abanhfleft (2)
Matchday 4 (if needed): Purple Jerseys vs. Abanhfleft (2)
Matchday 5 (if needed): White Jerseys vs. Abanhfleft (2)

The finals will be televised live through SKYNET (Saint KanYe NETwork) Sports Channel 12; the third place series will be shown delayed. All games streamed live on ibc-tv.stk.

by **Ethane** » Wed Apr 26, 2017 7:23 pm

Thanks to Saint Kanye for the kits

Ethane has officially adopted the kits made in Saint Kanye after our second place in the last IBC. The kits mark a slight change from the old style of kits which the team wore, but these kits are said to be of better quality and appearance and so will help the team's PR.

The kits mark one of a number of changes in the team. The Ethanese have also decided to follow the baseball in providing their team with a nickname, and the fans - who got to choose the nickname - also chose to have the same nickname as the national baseball team - our national animal - the Red Kites.

With the team establishing itself as an internationally renowned team, strong in defence, but deadly when met in play, it was thought that some things would need cleaning up as the team grew more fans and excelled, and the battle for third this edition after hosting it and finishing second last season has proven to be the point at which modernisation was seen as necessary.

by **Qasden** » Wed Apr 26, 2017 7:30 pm

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your final CUTOFF for the Third Place Playoff. No matter how this goes, just remember that Margaret and IIIIII will always love you!

Congrats to the third place winner and commiserations to a hard-fighting 4th-place finisher! Thanks to everyone for participating in this edition of the International Basketball Championships and for allowing Abaja and I to be your hosts! I cannot thank y'all enough for such an amazing experience.

'Til next time,
Qasden...AWAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!

by **Abaja** » Thu Apr 27, 2017 3:22 am

IBC 23 FINALS GAME 3
Qasdonian Side

FINALS GAME 3 CUTOFF! Sorry about the wait!

Saint Kanye 71 - 77 Abanhfleft

Saint Kanye leads series 2-1
@MaxCap Stadium, T.V. City

works? · by **Abanhfleft** » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:01 am

The Interceptors: The Enemy Within, Part Four

"Four seconds left in the fourth quarter, and Abanhfleft is defending a three-point lead over Saint Kanye. Saint Kanye can still send this game into overtime if they can make a three-pointer in this final possession. Victor McLain will inbound for the Surge. He passes to Mike Porter. Porter searches for the open man. He finds an opening with Brock Dotson. Wait a minute, Jan Harris dives in between Dotson and Porter! Harris claws the ball away from the Kanyeans! And now Abanhfleft is on the fast break with Leo Baxter leading the charge! Abanhfleft will take game 3 and keep themselves alive in this series, but not before Baxter goes for the three... and it's in! Abanhfleft takes Game 3 of the IBC 23 finals to keep alive hopes of a second title, but they still have a mountain to climb before they get there. Abanhfleft must win game 4 to force the do-or-die game 5 or else Saint Kanye walks away with the title once again."

"Finally, a performance that we can all be proud of! And right in the nick of time too. After I saw on the news that Ricardo's been captured, I thought it was going to be the end of us."

"Don't you have any faith in Ricardo, man? He's MSS. They teach them how to withstand even their own torturers over there. Ricardo's not gonna talk, man, plain and simple. We're still safe here."

"The only thing I'm worried about now is that the 24 hours are up, and with Ricardo in the hands of the Reps, we don't have anyone who can do for us those 'drastic measures' that we promised upon the Yeezie woman. What are we supposed to do now?"

"Wait, I have it. Thank God our team won this game, at least. This Yeezie must be thankful for our team, the Rebolusyonaryos, that they won and therefore spared her from harm for at least one more day. All right, set up the camera. We will make a new video."

"We are the Real Fans of Abanhfleft. We stand here with Nina Dirnt of Saint Kanye. By now, we know that the 72 hours we have given for you people in the International Basketball Organization to give us our demands has passed, but since Abanhfleft emerged victorious we have decided to give you a 24-hour extension to give us our demands. We already know that you have captured one of our fellow Real Fans, but that is not our concern now. 24 hours after this message goes out, we will do what we will on Ambassador Dirnt, and do not expect us to light her lightly because she's a girl. The Real Fans do not recognize genders, only nations who stand in the way of the glorious Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft. Remember, you have 24 hours more. After that, we will have a final reckoning."

"Yeah, what is it now?"

"Attila, it's Gerry. The Real Fans have just extended their deadline by 24 hours simply because our Rebolusyonaryos won in game 3. That means we have 24 more hours to find these 'Real Fans' before they do something very bad to Ambassador Dirnt. I thought you now had people who had connections and knew things. Where's that intel about the Real Fans' HQ you promised?"

"Hey, hey, Mr. Interceptor, it's not that easy, okay? These people may be part of my people now but I'm still working out a level of trust with these guys. And the intel you're asking me to get from them isn't exactly the easiest one to get out of these guys. I still have to work on them. But I can tell you this, though; in 24 hours, I will be getting you the location of these 'Real Fans.'"

"I'm counting on you, Attila. A lot of people here are getting nervous and edgy waiting for it."

by **Saint Kanye** » Thu Apr 27, 2017 11:38 am

OOC: First article not in the sports section.

DIRNT KIDNAPPERS RELEASE NEW VIDEO
Fleftic finals win prompts "Real Fans" to extend demand deadline by a day

by Stephanie Godfrey

T.V. CITY - The "Real Fans of Abanhfleft" group announced in their latest video that they are giving the International Basketball Organization another 24 hours to nullify the St. Kanye Surge national basketball team's rank and titles, just as their original 72-hour deadline expired today. The "Real Fans" group are the same people who kidnapped Kanyean ambassador to the Empire of Cats Nina Dirnt more than a week ago, and as indirectly stated in their videos, they shall be using force on the ambassador if their demand isn't met on ore before their given deadline. The video was made just minutes after the Abanhfleft Rebolusyonaryos won over the Surge, 77-71, in the third game of their best-of-five 23rd International Basketball Championships title series.

According to Ricardo Fujiwhara, whose connections to the Real Fans and the kidnappers themselves were confirmed upon interrogation by the Fleftic Republican Bureau of Investigation (RBI), the ambassador is being held in T.V. City, Qasden, site of the IBC 23 finals games. Members of the RBI, St. Kanye's "Yeezus Crew" special operations military unit, the Empire of Cats' "Foreign Legion" military unit, and the Qasdonian police are currently searching the city for the kidnappers and the ambassador's exact hideout, hoping to accomplish this before the deadline is up.

Assistant coach Bernard Foley of the Surge said, with regards to the Dirnt kidnapping, in a press conference after Game 3 of the IBC finals: "We at the Surge hope the search team finds her [Ambassador Dirnt] fast, and we hope that the people responsible for her abduction will pay for their disgusting act of terrorism. We will continue to play our games for her, and to show our effort and hard work, the real reasons why we got this far in world hoops, not whatever bull**** those 'Real Fans' are saying." Meanwhile, the #FreeNinaDirnt hashtag has risen to number four most mentioned in all tweets originating from the Glorious Free Republic, and number two, just behind #IBC23, in all Kanyean tweets discussing IBC 23. All employees at the Kanyean embassy in Catstantinople have started wearing at least one purple and lime article of clothing since three days ago, the start of the IBC finals, both as a display of support for St. Kanye itself, as well as the national team.

YEEZIES VS. FLEFTICS: ORIGINS
We take a look back at the Surge and Rebs' previous clashes

by Claude Harlan

The friendly rivalry between the St. Kanye Surge and Abanhfleft Rebolusyonaryos continues here in the finals of the 23rd International Basketball Championships. A true Surge or Rebs fan wouldn't miss for the world any game between these two teams. Whether you want to refresh your memory, are just starting to get in the know regarding this epic saga, or want to clear something up with your fellow IBC-watching friends, here are the details of every time that the purple and lime and blue, orange and green butted heads in the past IBCs.

IBC 19 QUARTERFINALS - GAME 1

Venue: Arena Foix, Bezieres, Valladares
Score: St. Kanye 77, Abanhfleft 65

The Surge, still unknowns in world hoops by this time, shocked a Leo Baxter-less Rebolusyonaryos squad, then ranked fifth in the world. The Kanyeans were unaware of Baxter's fate by that time, when in reality he was kidnapped by Ko-orenite conspiracy theorists and then released after the quarterfinals.

IBC 19 QUARTERFINALS - GAME 2

Venue: Arena Foix, Bezieres, Valladares
Score: Abanhfleft 81, St. Kanye 66

Damian Gonzales, Abanhfleft's naturalized center at the time, scored 21 points and hauled in 11 rebounds to help the Rebs take down the Surge and tie their IBC 19 quarterfinals series up at one game apiece.

IBC 19 QUARTERFINALS - GAME 3

Venue: Arena Foix, Bezieres, Valladares
Score: St. Kanye 72, Abanhfleft 69

It took Kanyean reserve point guard Darrell Gatson a buzzer-beating three-pointer, dubbed by local media as "The Swish Heard Around The World", to beat the Rebs and advance the Surge into the IBC 19 semifinals against The Andromeda Islands Eagles. The Eagles would go on to sweep the Kanyeans in the semis, and eventually win three games to one against the Vangaziland Royals in the IBC 19 finals, whereas the Surge would settle for third place in their debut, beating the Royal Kingdom of Quebec two games to one.

IBC 20 QUARTERFINALS - GAME 1

Venue: University of New Oxford Gymnasium, New Oxford, Ceni
Score: St. Kanye 87, Abanhfleft 64

Baxter once again missed his team's quarters matchup against the Surge, this time due to knee surgery. The Kanyeans outrebounded the Fleftics 306-206 and won Game 1 by a huge 23-point margin.

IBC 20 QUARTERFINALS - GAME 2

Venue: University of New Oxford Gymnasium, New Oxford, Ceni
Score: St. Kanye 77, Abanhfleft 67

The Surge won anew the next day and eliminated the Rebs from the IBC 20 playoffs, prompting Newton "Newt" Isaacs to bash the Kanyean team online and several angry Fleftics to riot and burn flags and jerseys of the Glorious Free Republic in protest. By now, Isaacs is on good terms with the Kanyeans, the Surge-Rebs relationship had cooled off to a friendly rivalry, and the anti-Kanyean fans have broken off from Abanhfleft's official Sixth Man fan group and formed the violent "Real Fans of Abanhfleft".

IBC 22 SEMIFINALS - SINGLE GAME

Venue: Heritage Sports Centre, New Sarum, Ethane
Score: St. Kanye 82, Abanhfleft 74

The Surge clawed back from a 15-point deficit at the end of the third quarter to beat the new-look Rebs by eight and deny them a second straight title shot. St. Kanye would go on to win in the finals, 95-71, over Ethane.

IBC 23: IT AIN'T OVER YET!
Rebs dodge sweep, take Finals Game 3 77-71 over Surge

by Ray Wright

T.V. CITY - Abanhfleft Rebolusyonaryos small forward Jan Harris intercepted a crucial pass by the St. Kanye Surge, and point guard Leonidas "Leo" Baxter drained a cold-blooded three in the final seconds to preserve a 77-71 win and avoid a Kanyean sweep of the 23rd International Basketball Championships finals series here in MaxCap Stadium in T.V. City, Qasden. Baxter was the Rebs' top scorer for the third consecutive game (sharing top honors with Higgs on the first day) with 20 points in Abanhfleft's first win over a Kanyean side since Game 2 of the IBC 19 quarterfinals four seasons ago; Victor McLain had 15 points for the Surge, who despite the loss are still up two games to one in the title series, and are aiming to close things out tomorrow.

"We shall not allow the Rebs to win yet another, as that would shift the momentum to them if we enter a game five", said Surge head coach Anton Spoletto. "And more importantly, we don't want to end up like Ko-oren, blowing finals leads", he added. The Ko-oren Dragonflies had experienced this kind of meltdown twice, winning the first two games of IBC 18 over Cosumar, only for the Stallions to beat them thrice in a row, and then going up 2-1 over St. Kanye in IBC 20 before the Surge would win the next two games and their first IBC title.

The Rebs, wearing blue, won the opening tip once more with Jazz Higgs at starting center. They went up 7-0 after a hop step jumper by Baxter, but the white-clad Surge would catch up, 7-6 after a three-point shot by McLain and then a three-point play by captain Josh Jackson. 8:11 remaining in the first quarter. A combination of Baxter and power forward Newton "Newt" Isaacs on the outside and Higgs on the inside would start a 15-4 run by the Fleftics, putting them up 22-10 with 3:15 remaining in the quarter, but the Surge outscored them the rest of the way to reduce the first quarter Fleftic lead to six, 24-18.

Original starting center Dylan Kapowski was brought back by the Fleftics to start the second, to enable Higgs to have some rest. He scored six of thirteen Fleftic points in another scoring run that saw the Kanyeans only score five in the same amount of time. Down 37-23 with 6:54 left in the half, the Surge utilized their scoring unit: McLain moving to PG, Jayvon Duff at SG, Jackson at SF, Dave Samson at PF and Joel Pond at center. This lineup put up a run of their own, even taking the lead, 44-40, at the end of the first half.

Higgs and Kapowski alternated at the five spot for Abanhfleft in the third quarter, and the rest of the substitutes also had their moments. Nathaniel Simboro made three out of three free throws to give the Fleftics the lead back, 45-44, and Gregory "Greg" Mankiller's midrange jumper put the Rebs up by double digits, 56-46 at the 3:42 mark of the quarter. The Surge would cut this lead at the end of the quarter once again, making it just five, 60-55 on a three by Michael Porter that had to be reviewed by the officials before being counted good.

The Rebs once again pulled away in the fourth, pushing the lead to double digits once more, 69-58 after a dunk by Higgs with 5:32 remaining in the game. Once again the Surge called a timeout, and after bringing all the starters back, they would try to get back into the game. After an 11-2 run, the Kanyeans were now down by only two, 71-69 within the final minute of the game. However, the Fleftics had the ball, and were looking to add to their small lead. Mankiller inbounded the ball to Kapowski, who went in for a layup, drawing a foul from Pond in the process. He made the free throw and increased the Rebs' lead to five, 74-69 with just 27 seconds remaining. The Surge used up their last timeout. A three-point attempt by McLain went off the mark, and the Rebs rebounded. Kapowski went to an open Baxter for the pass, but it was stolen by Jackson, who made a quick shot to cut the deficit back to three, 74-71. The Rebs decided to milk the clock to give the Surge less time to try and generate a shot. Isaacs, whose miss in the final seconds yesterday caused the Kanyeans to escape with the three-point Game 2 win, positioned himself at the three-point line with just 4.8 seconds to go. He was immediately double-teamed by Jackson and Brock Dotson, causing him to throw the ball out of bounds, giving the Surge back possession.

With 4.1 seconds left, McLain inbounded to Porter, who then attempted to pass to Dotson. It was here that Harris timed his jump between the pass perfectly, grabbing the ball and throwing it off to Baxter, who then made a quickly, The 77-71 result, Abanhfleft's favor, at the buzzer left the 3,661 Kanyeans at MaxCap Stadium speechless, and meant that the Rebs would go on to fight another day. "I was like, where the hell did he come from?" Porter said of Harris. "Oh well. They bounced back after yesterday, now it's our time to bounce back." The Surge will wear purple for Game 4.

Meanwhile, the co-host Abaja Lions defeated the Ethanese national team 109-94 to win Game 3 of their IBC 23 bronze medal series at Alkon Arena in Menusa, Abaja. The Ethanese team debuted brand new, Kanyean-made uniforms during the game, black with white lettering and red and purple stripes on the chest (this will be their away set; the home set will be white with black lettering and the same color chest stripes). They also announced that they shall be known in all future IBC editions by the nickname "Red Kites", same as the country's baseball team.

Scores:

ABANHFLEFT 77 - Baxter 20, Higgs 14, Isaacs 12, Harris 7, Kapowski 7, Barry 6, Simboro 5, Mankiller 4, Rosenkrantz 2, Guiloreza 0, Katatonoios 0, Vidal 0.

ST. KANYE 71 - McLain 15, Pond 13, Jackson 10, Porter 8, Dotson 7, Duff 7, Samson 6, Norris 3, Walker 2, Coyle 0, Levy 0, Schneider 0.

Quarters: 24-18, 40-44, 60-55, 77-71.

Game Schedule - Finals

Matchday 1: W 101-75 vs. Abanhfleft (2)
Matchday 2: W 82-79 vs. Abanhfleft (2)
Matchday 3: L 71-77 vs. Abanhfleft (2)
Matchday 4: Purple Jerseys vs. Abanhfleft (2)
Matchday 5 (if needed): White Jerseys vs. Abanhfleft (2)

The finals will be televised live through SKYNET (Saint KanYe NETwork) Sports Channel 12; the third place series will be shown delayed. All games streamed live on ibc-tv.stk.

by **Abaja** » Thu Apr 27, 2017 6:38 pm

IBC 23 FINALS GAME 4
Qasdonian Side

FINALS game 4. Here we go, yo!

Abanhfleft 80 - 84 Saint Kanye

Saint Kanye wins series 3-1
@MaxCap Stadium, T.V. City

Congrats to the Saint Kanye Surge for becoming the IBC 23 Champions! See you all next time.

works? · by **Abanhfleft** » Fri Apr 28, 2017 9:36 am

The Interceptors: The Enemy Within, Part Five

Somewhere in T.V. City, Qasden

Gerry Anthony, who was currently busy coordinating the planned raid against the "Real Fans of Abanhfleft," who had extended their deadline by 24 hours after the Abanhfleft Rebolusyonaryos had won Game 3 of the 23rd International Basketball Championships, with the various members of the special operations group created as a result of the crisis caused by the "Real Fans" abducting Ambassador Nina Dirnt of Saint Kanye to the Empire of Cats, excused himself as soon as he felt his cellphone vibrating. As soon as he was out of earshot, Gerry answered the call with a curt "Yeah?"

"You're going to get me and my girls killed for what we're doing, you know that?" the clipped voice of Daniel "Attila" Linkletter said from the other end. "Anyway, I finally got it. The location of the ambassador and her kidnappers, I mean. It took some time, but I told you that I'd get it, and I didn't disappoint."

"Okay, Attila, man, that's great news," Gerry said. "The team's already here in T.V. City and we're just waiting for the location so we can finally move in and rescue the ambassador. We just need to know which place to hit."

"Uh, yeah, man, about that..." Attila trailed off. "I can't exactly tell you where they are."

"What? What do you mean by that? Do I need to remind you that while you may have been undercover with the Huns for the better part of a decade now, you're still an active agent of the Republican Bureau and as such you are still bound to the oath that you swore when you joined the Bureau?"

"There's no need to throw the rulebook at me just like that, man," Attila said with the hint of a laugh. "What I meant to say is that while I know the place where foreigners have been spotted coming and going, I can't tell you the exact location, the exact warehouse where they are because the place where they set up their hidey-hole is a maze of warehouses and other secret passageways. You're going to need a guide is what I'm saying."

"And who exactly is going to be guiding us into this maze of passageways you just described?" Gerry asked.

"You're talking to him."

"Right. And how much trust exactly should I put in you for that?"

"Don't worry about yourself, Mr. Interceptor. I'm more worried about myself because of, you know, my real status."

"Just hang in there, man. You'll finally get out eventually."

"That's my problem. I'm not sure if I want to go out."

"We'll deal with that later. Right now, how are you going to guide us to the 'Real Fans'?"

"Just follow me and the girls and you'll be all right."

"Right. Thanks for the heads-up."

Gerry pocketed his phone as soon as Attila had ended the call, and then he went back to the room where he was coordinating with the Catsians, Kanyeans, and Qasdenians involved in the operation to rescue Ambassador Dirnt. "All right, everyone listen up," he said. "I have just received the last piece of information that we need to finally rescue Ambassador Dirnt. One of my contacts here in Qasden has just uncovered the location of the ambassador and her captors. Now all we need to do is meet up with our contact and then we will finally be able to locate the captors and make our final plan of assault."

"How sure are you of the reliability of your information and your contact?" one of the Kanyeans who were part of the "Yeezus Crew," the special operations unit deployed by Saint Kanye to Riuwiee to help search for the ambassador when it was still believed that she was being held in the Fleftic capital, asked Gerry. There had been a few difficulties in communication between the Fleftics and Kanyeans in the first few days of the search seeing as they spoke different languages and the Kanyeans had difficulty with the Fleftic language, even speaking in admittedly hilarious broken Fleftic, but after both teams revealed that they could speak English fluently enough, that was how everyone communicated for the rest of the hunt.

"I'm reasonably sure of the reliability of my contact and his info," Gerry replied evenly. "Let's go, then. Our contact only has a limited window of opportunity to tell us what we need to know. Suit up, and let's get loaded."

The special group, consisting of the Interceptors of Abanhfleft, the Yeezus Crew of Saint Kanye, and the Elite Eight of the Empire of Cats, then boarded black nondescript vans which were well-known for being the vehicles of choice of large groups of armed men traveling clandestinely. Nevertheless, speed was the more important objective of the special group as the 24 hour extension given by the "Real Fans of Abanhfleft" for the international basketball governing body to give in to their demands of stripping Saint Kanye of their ranks and titles would expire by the end of Game 4 of the finals series and they had little if any time to lose.

Gerry was in the lead van, being driven by his "resident combat driver" Rysa Browne, alongside the respective commanders of the Elite Eight and the Yeezus Crew. Gerry talked Rysa through the route that they would take to meet with the Huns who were actually undercover agents of the RBI. Eventually they arrived at a street lined by bars, most of which were filled with basketball fans here to watch the International Basketball Championships but one which was surrounded by motorcycles of brands such as Harley-Davidson, Triumph, Honda, and Yamaha. Gerry had Rysa park the van a short distance away from that biker bar and had her wait for his signal to move out.

"What exactly are we waiting for here?" the commander of the Elite Eight asked Gerry as Rysa stopped their van.

"We're waiting for my contact," Gerry replied. "He's working undercover in that biker gang. He can't exactly walk up to us and tell us what we need to know. We're going to follow him until he shows us where our target is."

"I will reserve my judgment of your tactics for later," the Catsian commander said. "But for now, we will have to rely on your contact getting it right or even working for the right side."

"Trust me, he'll get us to where we need to be," Gerry said with a quiet confidence which was enough to convince the Catsian to hold his tongue until further notice.

Three people, a man and two women, finally stepped out of the biker bar a few minutes after the special group had parked and mounted their bikes in such a way that Gerry knew that they were Attila and his "girls," his fellow undercover agents. "Right on time," he muttered. "Rysa, follow those three bikers."

"Sure thing, boss," Rysa Browne said, and she popped the clutch and began following the trio of bikes. While Gerry kept in contact with the rest of the special force, Rysa kept the three bikes well within her view, and after about half an hour of travel, one of the female bikers appeared to drop some trash beside a warehouse which looked like one of just many beside it, but as soon as the biker dropped the trash, Gerry got on the radio and said, "Lizzie, put a tracker on this warehouse we're passing by. It's our target."

"Right on it, Gerry," Elizabeth "Lizzie" Glenn, the youngest member of the Interceptors and Gerry Anthony's "resident slippery spy," replied, and then looking at the rearview mirror, Gerry saw a puff of spray paint mark the pavement outside of the warehouse, thus putting it firmly on their tactical map.

"All right, you were right, your man could be trusted," the Catsian commander conceded. "Now how are we going to rescue the ambassador?"

"We'll need to know a little more about the inside of that place, but here's the plan as it stands right now..." Gerry explained carefully the plan to rescue Ambassador Dirnt. After a few clarifications and modifications of the plan, they now had a workable plan of assault to save the ambassador.

"Three seconds left in the fourth quarter and Saint Kanye hold a slim one-point lead. Abanhfleft could have taken the lead after Newton Isaacs was fouled at the three-point line, but he could only stick one out of three free throws. Those two missed freebies might very well be what will cost Abanhfleft the chance at a second title. Victor McLain will inbound once again. He gives it to Michael Porter, who immediately shifts it to Brock Dotson. Hold on, here comes Jan Harris again, looking to replicate his Game 3 heroics! But Dotson's having none of it! Dotson snatches the ball right in front of Harris, who tries to compensate by going for the block, but Dotson just rides him out and then he cocks back for the three. And it's in! Saint Kanye are once again your International Basketball Champions! Jan Harris tries to steal the ball once again but this time Brock Dotson denies him the opportunity!--"

"Turn it off. Enough of this shit. The 24 hours is up. We must do what we must do now."

"Whatever it is we have to do, we have to do it quick. I just saw some black vans passing by this place. I'm sure that the Cats and the Yeezies are already in there, planning how we're going to take us down."

"Then don't waste any time! Set up the camera! This shall go out live!"

"I'm on it! I'm on it! Now, if I can just find the camera--grenade!"

The flashbang grenade went off with both a blinding flash and a deafening bang, just like its name said. The two Fleftic kidnappers were instantly incapacitated by the double whammy of the flashbang even as Gerry Anthony, the Yeezus Crew, and the Elite Eight entered the warehouse and swept it for any more enemies. "Get down! Get down!" Gerry shouted at the two.

"I think I have the ambassador here!" the Catsian shouted as he approached a woman tied and blindfolded to a rickety folding metal chair. The Yeezus Crew commander approached the woman as well, and then once the Catsian had removed the blindfold, the Kanyean held up an official photograph of Ambassador Nina Dirnt and compared it to the woman in the chair. "That's her, all right," he confirmed.

"Who--who are you?" Nina Dirnt asked the people surrounding her. She didn't have her glasses so all she could see were vague black and pink shapes.

"Ambassador Dirnt, my name is Gerry Anthony," Gerry introduced himself. "I am from the Republican Bureau of Investigation of the Democratic Republic of Abanhfleft. Madam Excellency, as much as it pains me to say this, your country has beaten my country in the International Basketball Championships. However, the International Basketball Organization would like to extend a formal invitation to you to attend the trophy presentation ceremony in the MaxCap Arena. That is, your Excellency, if you would like to attend it."

"Mr. Anthony, I'm not sure of what to say," Dirnt admitted. "I'm not sure I even know what to do!"

"What you should do is sit back, relax, and revel in the fact that not only are you free, but your Saint Kanye Surge has won the IBC once again," Gerry replied. "And, unlike my misguided compatriots here, let me be the first to congratulate you on your Surge's well-deserved victory. It was a game where the better team won, and that team happened to be Saint Kanye."

FIN

by **Empire of Cats** » Fri Apr 28, 2017 10:23 am

Tying Up Some Loose Ends

Catstantinople - Frederick Graham leaned against the wall, his head aching. Of all the times to have a cold, he had to do it the day after the rescue mission. His leg still ached from the blow he had taken from that kidnapper with a baseball bat. His was the only injury in the mission from all three nations. But he had been the one to get to the ambassador and had taken point. At least that guy who got him had been quickly subdued. They were all awaiting trial now.

But that was the least of his worries. Now the nation wanted to decorate him for "valor" and "courage" because of it all. Heck, the emperor himself was to decorate him and promote him. In his opinion, if the ambassador was fine than that was good enough. But she had insisted that he had been instrumental in her rescue, along with the other spec ops teams from 'Fleft and Kanye. So now he was a national hero. What a surprise it was; who could've known, he certainly didn't.

"Captain? You're to go out and be awarded in three minutes. Remember to smile and shake the Emperor's hand."

The promotion helped to ease some of the shock of his newfound fame. Leader of the Catsian Spec Ops force. If only he was able to believe it all...

As he walked out into the stage and the crowd started to roar, he couldn't help but wonder how this would have ended if he hadn't decided to watch that one guy come out of a store with groceries instead of tobacco. Thank heavens he had.

The nation was happy. The ambassador was safe. Peace was restored.

That was enough for him.

The Adventures of the Musketeers: Curtain Call

T.V. City - Tersa Rolde tilted her head back as she finished off the last dregs of her hot chocolate on the patio of the Quasden café, one of the many small, oftentimes quaint businesses that peppered the city. But far from standing out, Teresa looked as normal as any straight-out-of-college young woman. She was feeling refreshed, having bought a new pair of heels - she had them specially commissioned in royal blue and gold, of course - and even getting her hair done, topped with a baseball cap and a fresh pair of aviator glasses. She felt like one of the natives, and hardly looked like a star basketball player.

Most of the team had left already left for home. She had chosen to stay. She wanted to sightsee. She also wanted to honor her promise to two young men, and she always kept her promises if she could.

She glanced at her phone. She still had twenty minutes before she caught the bus to the small bar where she would meet Victor McLain and Jazz Higgs. They would perform one more round of songs for a few lucky locals in the bar, then part and go their separate ways. She would miss the boys; they were some of the nicest she'd ever met. But at least they'd be in touch. She scrolled through her newsfeed as she watched the passerby parade by on their daily journeys.

"Hey, beautiful!" came a voice from behind her. She whirled to confront the cheeky individual who had presumably been ogling her, but she was stunned by what she saw.

"Patrick? William!" she cried happily as her two teammates strolled up to her table. She embraced them both.

"What on Earth are you all doing here? I thought you had already left?"

"Oh, we did. We just happened to be in the neighborhood. We were just sightseeing when we noticed this stunning, absolutely incredible, sexy young woman with amazing legs...."

"William!" Teresa blushed and laughed at the same time. "If I didn't know you so well, I'd have to smack you!"

"...and then she got up and left, and we saw you in the table behind her." William grinned back.

"Oh, I'm definitely going to have to smack you now." She teasingly shoved him as the three laughed.

"So, what really brings you two here?"

Patrick smiled. "Do you like secrets, Res?"

"Sure. Well, it depends on what they are."

Patrick grinned now. "Want to see one?"

"Sure." She tossed her empty cup in an arc over three tables and watched the shocked reactions of the clientele and passerby as it sank into a trash can.

"Showoff," William teased.

"What, me?" she blinked innocuously.

"Res. You're going to have to step into that car about two tables behind you if you want to know this secret."

Teresa turned and gaped in surprise as a stretch limousine filled two parking spots. "What on earth..."

"M'lady, your ride awaits." William and Patrick stood up, with Teresa doing the same, more out of shock than anything.

"For...For me?"

"Well, more for all of us. Care to go for a ride?"

The two lifted Teresa up by her hands and escorted her to the limo. As they got in, she noticed the tinted black windows. She could hardly see out of them. William sat to her right, Patrick to her left.

"So, what's the secret?"

"Not yet, Res. Not yet. Here, lean forward slightly, please."

As she complied, a blindfold slipped onto her head.

"Okay, boys, what is this? Are you abducting me?"

"Well....yes. I guess so. But you'll like this surprise."

"I have to be at the bar to meet Victor and Jazz in fifteen minutes!"

"We'll get you there on time. I promise."

The limo ride was mostly peaceful. The occasional bounce disturbed her as the three chatted, though Teresa thought it strange that she had to have a blindfold. The limo stopped and she felt William and Patrick guide her through a corridor - she heard doors closing - and stop. The surroundings were pitch black, and as the blindfold was removed, it looked to her as if she truly had been abducted. There were no lights, and she was beginning to feel a little unsettled.

"This had better be good, for your sakes, boys."

Then, she heard footsteps going away, as she realized the two were walking away.

"Wait, what on earth are you up to? Get back here."

Suddenly, a familiar voice cried out in the black. "All right! Let's get this party started!"

Lights flashed on, and after the temporary vision loss she was stunned by the sight and the sounds that confronted her: the basketball stadium, packed full of people waving flags and sporting a rainbow of national jerseys, including many of the teams from the IBC. William and Patrick were seated up front with the rest of the Felines, mixed with the Rebs and Surge. The crowd started to roar as Victor and Jazz ran to midcourt to meet her. Her jaw dropped.

"You might say that there's been a change of plans," grinned Jazz.

"Might? There has been!"

"What is all of this?"

"Ready to sing, Res?"

"What?" She began to see what she had been drafted into. "You don't mean..."

"Yep. TV, radio, news reporters. Talk about an end to the IBC," quipped Victor.

She thought for a second, and the crowd seemed to sense her indecision, quieting down. Then she began to grin.

"Well, we had better not disappoint then! Who's with me?" The stadium began to roar again as her words echoed through the concrete.

A stage had been established, and the three mounted it as the stadium prepared to be entertained.

"You know the song?"

"You bet! Let's do this!"

As the three began to sing, Teresa couldn't help but smile.

UNTIL NEXT YEAR!

International Basketball Championships 23 (IC Thread)

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