World Cup 77 - Roleplay Thread

[Veldgouwen]

Six minutes left on the clock as Valkeniers was pacing up and down the touchline. The Ship had never before been that rowdy but the gladiators had given them plenty of reason to be so, in an exciting clash which had seen as many goals as red cards, two each. The squad from West Saintland knew, despite only going one third of the road so far, that a loss could end their hope for more than a seemingly endless series of games with little to fight for. As a consequence, the game was attractive and the opener from Clara Messalina had brought an extra spark.

It seemed that the Sanctii had all weaponry in their own hands to drag the three points home but with that, Censorina Marius made a crucial mistake. Getting caught wrong-footed on a cross, carried by the wind, she saw Marnix Van Baekel on a highway to the open goal. In a reflex, she grabbed the blue shirt that boomed past here and as could be expected, the left winger went down as if it wasn’t a human hand but a trident that found his back. Evidently, the referee had no choice but to give Marius her walking order, despite the lively protest of captain Princess Amanda.

The scales turned and the waves of attacks started to eat into the dikes put up by the visitors. Atia Calidius might have lived up to the expectations, but when Piet Masschelin appeared in front of her on his own, there was nothing left for her but to go and fish the leather out of the net. Just when the wall or red-and-white was about to be cracking, Dan Troch blacked out for a moment. Instead of booting the ball up the pitch, he chose for a dangerous backpass to the goalie and it appeared that Januaria Messalina had read that better than anyone of the Veldgouwer. In a reflex, Carlos Deferme wrestled her down, but not only were the home squad down to ten elements, the momentum was gone and lost – possibly not only for the game, but also for the campaign. The back line, down to three, kept the door closed but rattled in its hinges.

”We’ve got to do something,” Ronny begged to his boss.

As per usual, Johan only replied with a glance. As if that piece of info formed an added value, he would have murmured, but what to do.

”We’ve got to safeguard that point! I’ll let Mortelmans get his bib off and…” Ronny spoke but just as he turned around…
”Get Tarki.”

He admired Valkeniers for his stubbornness but every once and a while, he wished he had both the composure, guts and position to slap him in the face in situations like this one.

”Their wings are wide open. He’ll find that space and…”
”But we’re one on one in the back,” Ronny attempted, despite knowing better than to try and change his mind.
”… and maybe they’ll finally accept him as one of them.”

Finally. Admitting, even if it were at the worst possible moment, that there is an elephant in the room cracked the already poor resistance of Ronny. But it didn’t chase away the question marks in his head.

One has to be honest and say that it was a fairly poor cross from Kieran Maes, a ball with way too much hang time but what those at home will recall is that it is Tarki who loses the duel from Mansueta Marius. Immediately, the left back from the Sanctii moves forward and makes use of the gaping hole between the lines. More out of habit than of tactical rigor, Dan Troch steps out, allowing Januaria Messalina to dive into a boulevard. The pass might be on the poorer side but it doesn’t prevent the striker in hoops to mark with a marvelous rocket…

[Anglatia]

Hustlers United

Chapter Seven: One Shot

“For the first time in three years, we’re back in Kisote!” said Remy Ladipo, holding a microphone and addressing his hometown crowd at a sold out Mjasa Stadium, for the friendly between the Imperial national team and a Nordskania eleven, made up of players from the NDPR. Vas Zharkov was there, Emperor Colden was there, and the match was more than just a friendly; this was the first match that the national team had played since last cycle, and it was the one that would kick off their preseason and eventually their World Cup campaign. “It’s been a long time but now that we’re back, we’re going to try to put on a show for you! You’ve always been good to us, Kisote! And now we’re back and we’re throwing a motherfucking party out here! I want everyone to get on their feet and make some noise for your Anglatia Explorers!”

The crowd roared, and they would roar even more when Remy introduced the lineups. It had been three long years, and now that the Explorers were in town again, there was a party going on, just like Remy had said. There had been fireworks, a white and purple choreography from the crowd of the Imperial flag, and something of a pre game rally from the players. When the actual kickoff arrived, the atmosphere was crazy for what was really a friendly between the Imperials and a team that wasn’t even ‘official’. The first half hour of the match was frantic, too, with both sides drawing energy from the crowd and trying hard to impress the tens of thousands of fans packing the tight stands of the stadium.

Remy was in the lineup for Anglatia, and he nearly opened scoring in the first ten minutes by flicking the ball over a defender and then taking two dribbles before shooting it just wide of the net. The Nordskanians counter attacked five minutes later and forced Blaze Chrzanowska to run off of her line and make a diving save to knock the ball to Lukas Aukland. The crowd roared in the twenty first minute when Joao Francis Inciarte got loose on the wing and made a deep run to the byline before knocking the ball inside, where Zahara Santana shot it just over the bar. The atmosphere was exciting, and not just exciting, but fun. That is, until the thirty first minute.

=====

One shot. The man from the Eastern Brotherhood, who had secured access to the press box through his job as a journalist, had one shot, according to Eshe Al-Hatem. Eshe and the man were from drastically different backgrounds, with Eshe being the daughter of an immigrant and the man being born around the place that Eshe’s ancestors were likely from, and they held wildly different ideas. Eshe was an anarchist who wanted to see the fall of the state. The man was an Islamist who wanted to see his religion become the state. But while they might not agree on everything, today was a day when they had a chance to help each other. Both of their groups would benefit from helping each other, and that was how they had teamed up. Eshe had set up the night before, and now the man only had to finish what she had started.

Obviously, that would come in the thirty first minute, representing Patierre's December 31st secession from Anglatia, and when that minute arrived, the man stepped back from the desk that he and some of the other journalists were sitting at and he quietly stepped behind everyone else in the room, taking advantage of how distracted they were by the match to move to the janitor’s closet in the back of the room. Supposedly, that was where the box was. He silently opened the closet and stepped inside, before pulling the doors closed behind him. The box was in the corner, just like Eshe had promised. When he opened the wooden box and looked inside, he saw what he expected: a strange looking rifle that was made of some kind of cheap plastic.

The rifle had been 3D printed, because of the difficulty of getting real guns in Patierre. The Imperial occupation was coming down hard on anything that could facilitate rebellion, which caused the island to have the strictest gun control in the Empire. Only those associated with the military or Imperial Intelligence were allowed to have guns, a rule that notably kept them away from the local non-military police. The fact that the rifle was plastic also meant that none of the pre match security checks had discovered it. According to Eshe, it wasn’t durable, and so the man would have one shot before the thing would likely break. It was already loaded, but there was a seventy percent chance that he wouldn’t get more than one try. There was also a very powerful scope that was taped with duct tape to the 3D printed frame of the rifle, that was very obviously stolen from another weapon.

The man took a deep breath again and said a silent prayer. Then, he picked up the rifle, finding that it was lighter than he expected in his hands. He held the scope up, glancing through it before lowering the rifle and turning towards the door. It was time. The man burst through the doors, knowing he had to move quickly to avoid drawing attention. Everyone still had their eyes on the match, and the noise of the crowd drowned out the noise of the doors of the closet opening. The man raised the rifle and stared through the scope, looking through the massive glass windows at the front of the press box and towards the other end of the stadium, where the other box was. This box was for the press, but the box on the other side was open to anyone who paid enough to sit there. That was why Emperor Colden of Anglatia was there, along with his new ally, Vasily Zharkov. Colden ruled this realm among others, while Zharkov was the oligarch of the Nordskania Democratic People’s Republic.

His one shot would go towards the Emperor, not Zharkov or any of the others in the box, such as Jorg of Saint Rainier or Halle of Underfell, the Emperor’s siblings who were also in positions of power. The man stared through the scope and took a deep breath, lining up the sights before squeezing the trigger. What happened next seemed to happen slower than everything before it. There was a bang, people jumped and turned around and ducked, and the glass broke. But something broke inside of the shoddily produced plastic rifle, and the shot wasn’t anywhere near accurate. It didn’t even hit the glass on the other side of the stadium, and the bullet harmlessly went into the siding below the luxury boxes. By now, everyone saw the man, and the Imperial Intelligence agents in the other boxes were scrambling to move their guests to safety. They were also pointing out the man, and less than ten seconds after he was pointed out, an Imperial Intelligence team burst into the press box with their guns drawn. The man swung the rifle around at them, but when he pulled the trigger, nothing happened. Eshe had been right; the gun broke after one shot.

That meant that the man had to go with plan B. He wouldn’t be able to shoot his way out of this. The best thing that he could do would be to avoid getting captured, and so he dropped the rifle and continued backing up, reaching into his shirt pocket and finding an object tiny enough to fit in the middle of his palm: a cyanide pill. He bit down on the pill before reaching for something tucked into his waistband under his shirt, a plastic shank. “For the Brotherhood!” he shouted, charging at the Imperial agents and trying to make one last stand before the cyanide set in. The agents leveled their own rifles and fired. But as the effects of the pill started, the man barely felt the pain. The last thing he saw was blackness, as he ran to stab the Imperials.

This day would certainly go down in the history of the number thirty one and its significance for Anglatia, but not for the right reasons. Today, nothing had gone as planned.

=====

For the second time in two cycles, the Imperial footballers were led off of the pitch in the middle of a highly anticipated friendly, because of a security threat. This time, however, the ‘threat’ was barely dangerous at all, as the attacker hadn’t even managed to place a shot anywhere near the Emperor. The players themselves laughed about that, but everyone was still on edge as they moved to the locker room and were told to wait there until Imperial Intelligence secured the premises. More on edge than any of the others were Allie Vacek, Blaze Chrzanowska, and Ake Gustafsson, who had known ahead of time that something was coming. “So this is what you meant, earlier,” Blaze whispered, leaning next to Allie as the three players squeezed together at the end of the locker room’s secondary bench. “I knew you said there would be treason, but I didn’t expect this. You’d sell out the Emperor to please some girl who hasn’t talked to you in years?”

“I had no idea what she was planning to do. All I did was unlock some doors for them in the stadium when they set up the night before,” Allie whispered back, her tone harsh even though her voice was low. “Look, I knew it wasn’t going to work, even though I knew it would likely be against the royals. She’s an anarchist, her friends are edgy college students who probably couldn’t figure out how to commit treason if they actually wanted to. You see that it didn’t work. The bullet went completely off mark, and I’m guessing it’s because a bunch of college kids from Patierre couldn’t find a decent gun. And maybe it was stupid in hindsight, but it wasn’t like I knew any of the details, and I was doing it for love… We all do stupid things for love-”

“I’m sorry, but this is beyond stupid,” hissed Ake, his voice lower than Blaze’s and Allie’s. “You nearly killed the Emperor and destabilized an empire of over one billion people, to make some anarchist like you. We all do stupid things for love, but most of the things that normal people do don’t affect that many people. If you didn’t think that whatever they were doing would be that bad, you were lying to yourself. And you did all of this for someone that hasn’t talked to you in years. She’s probably just using you for your connections and your access. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that she turns up now, of all times.”

“If you want to know what I really thought, I assumed they were just going to do something in the press box to make a scene and bring attention to themselves,” sighed Allie, holding her head in her hands in frustration. “I’m sorry for being so shortsighted. I didn’t even know there was a gun, they just put a box in the janitor’s closet and they wouldn’t tell me what was in there. I don’t know why I helped them… I did it because I’m desperate for someone to love me, someone that I can trust… And I know that I can trust Eshe.”

“How can you trust her? She left, remember that?” asked Blaze. “You shouldn’t have fallen in love with a fucking anarcho-commie, either. At least the Nordskanian anarchists are respectable, but they’re nothing like the kind that your buddy is. If you wanted someone to love you, you should’ve told Darren, because I guarantee that he has feelings for you and that he’s more trustworthy than a commie. You never connected the dots about why he was acting mean to me the other night, did you? He acted that way because he’s jealous. He probably thinks you like me, because we spend so much time together and pick each other as roommates on every national team trip.”

“What? That’s absurd,” said Allie, although now that she looked at it from Darren’s point of view, it didn’t sound that unreasonable. “You’re straight, and after Eshe left me in Lane, I swore that I’d never date a woman ever again. Even when I messed around with Katie, Darren knew I never intended to do anything long term. Hell, I don’t know how he could think that we’re a thing, when you got pregnant with Marco’s kid. I only pick you as my roommate every time because you’re from the same city and it won’t be as awkward with you as it would be with him-”

“I know it’s not true, but I’m just telling you how it looks from his point of view,” Blaze whispered. “If you tell him that you only want to marry a guy because you want to start a family, but then you say that you’re fine with messing around with girls before then, and you pick me every time as your roommate, it’s not a stretch for him to assume that I could be the one that you’re ‘messing around’ with. He’s not going to think that we’re just close friends, either, because we’ve never been club teammates and we rarely see each other outside of national team duty.”

“Damn, I never looked at it like that. I thought everyone just knew that we were good friends and that we stay together because we can speak our own dialect with each other,” sighed Allie. “Poor Darren. I’ve been leading him on, haven’t I? There’s been more than one time when I’ve told him that I’m waiting for the guy of my dreams to come along, so I can have some motivation to clean my life up and start a family. And the whole time, he hasn’t made any moves on me and he’s just been making subtle hints and waiting for me to realize that he likes me as more than a friend and a friend with benefits. I keep acting ambiguously, like I might have an interest in him, and now I go running off with someone from my past… He’s going to think I just made up the thing about not dating girls-”

Allie looked up, to find that a new group was entering the locker room. They weren’t players, nor were they staff members. This group was made up of two men and one woman, who were wearing black police outfits with combat vests over them. They all had various firearms at their hips, which was how Allie knew that they were indeed from Imperial Intelligence and not from the stadium’s security detail. They looked around the locker room, before pointing to Allie’s group and approaching. As Allie, Blaze, and Ake watched with fear and nervousness, the lead man stepped ahead of the others and reached to his wallet to flash a badge at the trio. “My name is Luke Hennessy, and I’m with Imperial Intelligence. We want to ask some questions to Miss Alisandra Vacek,” he stated firmly, pocketing his wallet and gesturing for Allie to get up. “We believe that Miss Vacek was connected to the failed attempt on our Emperor’s life.”

When Allie didn’t stand up like Luke wanted, he grabbed her by the arm and roughly yanked her up. That got the attention of the rest of the players, who now ceased their conversations and turned their attention completely towards the three agents. “Hey, don’t you touch her!” shouted Darren Harbin, jumping up and running towards the three. The second man drew a stun gun, pointing it at Darren and warning him to back off. “You can’t just take her away, she’s an Imperial citizen from Valeria, she has rights! You don’t have a warrant for this-”

“Stand down,” ordered the second man, as the woman drew her own stun gun from a holster on her waist. “We want this to go smoothly, but we won’t hesitate to do things the hard way if you interfere. Alisandra may have her rights, but you should know that we from Imperial Intelligence work under a different code. The same laws that apply to normal police forces apply differently to us, and this is one of those cases where we have extra rights.”

Everyone froze. Darren, Hakki, and Nessa were all standing, ready to defend Allie. The agents were in a standoff with them, with two of them having their stun guns drawn and aimed at the players who were standing. Allie herself wasn’t struggling, knowing that there was no way to get out of this. All that could come from it was her friends getting hurt. “Guys, don’t fight for me,” she said, eventually. “It’s not going to do any good, and it’s a felony. Don’t get yourselves arrested… Just let them ask me their questions and we’ll see what happens from there.”

The players stood down, sitting back along the benches, and the agents holstered their stun guns and nodded in appreciation to Allie. “We’ll treat her fairly,” said Luke, as if it was consolation to the other players that they wouldn’t be too hard on Allie. That was somewhat the truth. Everyone knew that Allie Vacek loved her country, and so the agents doubted that she was really the one behind all of this. They suspected that someone else had pushed her into it, and that was where Allie’s usefulness was. She would be very useful to Imperial Intelligence indeed.

=====

“As I said before, my name is Agent Luke Hennessey. My partners are agents Jay Grennan and Patricia Kersey, and we work for the Western Anglatia branch of Imperial Intelligence,” said Luke, sitting down across the table from Allie Vacek, who looked ready to cry right now. “I’m sure you know this already, but our jurisdiction covers the city of Lane in addition to Ross, which means that all three of us are quite familiar with you. We’re going to ask you some questions, and if you answer them honestly, you’re going to get to go back to your teammates. OK?”

The blue haired girl nodded, blinking back her tears and looking down. “I’ll answer whatever you want. I never meant for it to turn out this way,” she said. “I just wanted someone that I could trust, and I didn’t realize how far I was willing to go for that-”

“Let’s start from the beginning,” said Luke, interrupting her and gesturing to Patricia, who took a envelope full of pictures from one of her pockets. She placed the envelope on the table and took out the first photo, showing it to Allie. “Do you know who the woman in the picture is? Security footage from outside the stadium a couple nights ago showed you walking with her and a group of others, but do you know her name and her origins?”

The picture displayed a smiling college aged girl leaning against a wall that had been tagged by graffiti. This was a rare picture where she wasn’t wearing hijab, and instead was letting her long hair rest around her shoulders. “Her name is Eshe Al-Hatem, and she lived in Lane before moving to Patierre to fight,” Allie said. “I don’t know where her family is from, but they came over from somewhere else and settled down in Lane, which was where she grew up. I think they might have been from East Kisote, actually, and if they weren’t, they had to be immigrants.”

“You’re close, but wrong,” Luke stated. “Her true name is Amala El-Nasiri, and her family is indeed from East Kisote. And while you may have believed that they were ordinary migrants, the truth is that her family has long been connected with the upper ranks of the Eastern Brotherhood. She was born out of wedlock to a Brotherhood jihadist, to a white mother whom she would never meet, and she was raised by a family that played a heavy role in resisting the Imperial crusades. When they dropped their last profession, they moved to Lane and lived relatively normally, but that didn’t prevent Eshe from exchanging one radical ideology for another and aligning herself with the anarchist movement. Do you know the group that she’s working with now?”

Allie shook her head. “I don’t think so. She just said that she was with anarchists and that she was fighting back against the Imperial integration in Patierre. Her group was pretty secretive. I only said a few words with any of them other than Eshe for the entire time that we were at the stadium.”

“The people that she works with now are called the Gold Hands. They’re extreme left wing anarchists, based out of the coastal city of Alery. They want to see the destruction of the state in Patierre, and the rise of an anarchist and communist society that would be based on community rule and left wing politics without a state,” explained Luke. He picked up another photo, turning it around and showing it to Allie. This photo showed Eshe wearing a mask and standing with a group of masked people, some of them holding weapons. “Other than Eshe, how many of these people do you recognize? These are the highest ranking members of the Hands. We believe that three of them accompanied you to the stadium.”

“I saw that man,” said Allie, pointing to the one next to Eshe. She could recognize him from his black jacket and his eyes, as the rough one who wouldn’t say anything to her and who had argued with Eshe at the end of the trip. “I think I also saw the two men at the edge of the picture. I don’t know their names, though. They didn’t talk to me, just to Eshe. Even when I spoke to them, they didn’t say anything back to me. But I know the second man at the edge of the picture was the one that carried the box with the rifle.”

Luke looked back at the picture, nodding. “The first man is James Vodenicharov, the other founder of the Hands. His family integrated from communist Nordskania when he was a child, but he had a much more romantic view of communism than they did. He befriended Eshe in high school as soon as she moved to Alery, and they both dropped out together to form the Hands. He would go on to become the expert that handled the more technical side of operations, and handled personnel, while Eshe refined her work as a propagandist to become the figurehead at the top of the group. As their frontwoman, Eshe gained them plenty of new recruits and aggressively brought in talent from anarchist circles across the colony, and she also kept the group focused on their goals and kept their morale high. She’s the one that anyone with experience with the group will think of when they think about the Hands, but James is the one who handles more of the behind the scenes things and the actual carrying out of the operations.”

Allie looked down, running a hand through her hair and trying not to let her nerves show. “I had no idea her family were jihadists or that she was running the show for a whole operation like this… Honestly, when she said that she was working with someone from the Eastern Brotherhood today, I thought they were just going to blow something up in the press box to make a statement for attention. I didn’t know what they were planning or what their real motives even were. I shouldn’t have helped her, I know-”

Patricia Kersey was the one to interrupt Allie. “Don’t condemn yourself just yet, you may be of use to us. What we want to know, though, is what is your relationship with Eshe? Or more specifically, what kind of relationship did you have before you were seen together outside the stadium?”

“We didn’t have one. She hadn’t talked to me in a couple of years,” said Allie. “When she ran off to fight, she never contacted me except for one message where she told me her intentions. Before that…” she added, her voice trailing. This was something that was hard for her to talk about, obviously. “She was my fiance. We were still young but we were going to go to Baratstan to marry, where it was legal… I know it sounds crazy in hindsight that we were together, but I met her at a rave party in Ross and we hit it off really quickly after that. She talked about her politics and I talked about mine but we always managed to stay together even if we should have hated each other politically. Our relationship was always secret, and I don’t think any of my other friends ever saw us together, but she was the only person I’ve ever loved.”

“And what would you say your relationship with her right now is?” asked Luke.

Allie paused, unsure of how to describe it. “I don’t know. She said that if I helped her, she would talk to me again, but I don’t know if she really wants to get back together or if she was just using me because I could get her to where she wanted to go. I didn’t realize that she could be using me until after the fact. I guess I’m more naive than I thought I was.”

“Everything she’s saying adds up with the reports from the inside,” said Jay. Patricia nodded, and then both agents looked back to Luke to continue speaking.

“We believe that her intent was to use you for your ability to get close to the stadium, but if she stays around after this, you can be useful to us by acting as one of our links to the Gold Hands. For all of the infiltration that we’ve done into the group, it’s concerning that we aren’t close enough to the leading circle to be able to predict what Eshe was going to do,” continued Luke. “Our agents have infiltrated the Hands up to the high levels of their organization, but we don’t have a link with their leading circle. We think that because of Eshe’s sympathies for you, and your past relationship, you may be a good option to serve as that link between us.”

“So you want me to be a spy? She doesn’t trust me enough to say much to me about the group itself, but I can try my best to give you the info that she does tell me. What are you going to do with her if I were to help you capture her?”

“She would suffer the same fate that you would expect from any prominent rebel leader. Death by firing squad,” Luke stated. “But for now, we don’t want her dead. We don’t want her captured and imprisoned, either. We’re working on manipulating the Hands from the inside into doing something that would cause the collapse of their entire movement. We take out Eshe and James Vodenicharov, and the movement takes a step back. We use our inside access to push them into starting a battle that we can’t win, and the entire group comes crashing down like a stack of cards. If that group goes down, the main resistance in Patierre goes down. But we still haven’t gotten anyone close enough to the leaders who are calling the shots to initiate something.”

“How am I supposed to be that person?” Allie asked. “She knows I’m a right winger. She’s known that since I met her. If she hangs around me, it’s because she likes or needs me, not because she’s looking for advice on what to do with her revolution. Even if I tried to hint at things, she would never take my advice-”

“Then you lie,” said Patricia Kersey. “You say that you want secession in Valeria and that you want the Patierre movement to succeed because it would set up secession wars in other places. One of our Valerian agents has used that excuse for joining the Hands, I’m sure you can make it work too. And if that doesn’t work, you come up with something, it’s not hard to figure out a reason for a change of heart.”

Allie sighed, slumping back in the chair and letting her hair drop over her face. “I don’t know… I don’t know if I can even do this. You’re asking me to help you out against the only person I’ve ever loved, so you can put her in front of a firing squad. I know she’s a rebel now, but I don’t want her to die. Do I even have a choice in this?”

“You help us and we drop every charge against you related to what happened today,” Luke said. “You may not have to see Eshe die, also. If you can convince her to leave her position, we may decide to spare her. We’d rather have her alive, and be able to watch her and see who she has connections to, than have her dead. But if we get our hands on her while she’s still a Hands leader, we have no choice. She’s done things worthy of a death sentence, and there’s no way around that.”

“Yeah? I guess I know what I need to do, then. Lie my way into the Gold Hands and hope that I can talk Eshe out of leading them, while trying to get them to do something stupid,” Allie replied, looking up and making eye contact with the agents. “Looks like I can add Imperial Intelligence agent to the list of professions I have, along with footballer, actor, and musician. I always knew I was a jack of all trades. I didn’t think I would ever be attempting to add bringing down a rebellion to my list of accomplishments.”

[Abanhfleft]

The Pridnestrovian Invasion of Nordskania, Part Twenty-one

Serpukhov-6 Fortress
Somewhere in Nordskania
Pridnestrovian-occupied territory

Colonel General Vsevolod Leonidovich Pankavuranov stared at the tablet computer on the desk in front of him, seeing the words displayed on the screen but not yet comprehending them. So the Mountain Pact was now ready to come to the negotiating table, he finally decided. To be honest, he was surprised that it had taken the imperialists this long to realize that the only way to end this whole conflict without resorting to what President Field Marshal Stepan Stepanovich Stepanenko had referred to as “extreme forms of warfare”: nuclear, biological, and chemical warfare obviously falling under the scope of the term as Stepanenko saw it.

A news service based in the anarchist north of Pridnestrovia had gained access to the terms with which the Mountain Pact hoped to secure peace in Nordskania. As expected, the website spouted the same propaganda that the Anglatians preached: according to the imperialists, the Pridnestrovians had been beaten back from the Sopova and Ryakova fronts and was now being squeezed into a smaller and smaller territory centered around the city of Puloko. Pankavuranov didn’t even need to look at a map to know that the Anglatians were merely spouting lies: Pridnestrovia still controlled large swaths of territory stretching from Puloko to Ryakova to the villages surrounding the old Vestanian “homeland” of Fiergrad and Duradino. The retreat from Sopova was actually a tactical manoeuvre; Vestania aimed to betray Pridnestrovia and Pridnestrovia had seen fit to let the Vestanians join those whom they really want as allies, but not before leaving behind a surprise to the traitorous Vestanian Protection Forces.

As for the Ryakovan Front, there was simply no truth in the statement that the northern anarchists and volunteers from the Vestanian diaspora had helped the forces of the old Communist dictator of Nordskania, Vasily Zharkov (who had given up all pretenses of communism to gain the support of Anglatia) escape the encirclement of Ryakova by Pridnestrovian forces. The Mountain Pact had an inflated sense of its superiority over the Pridnestrovians and they liked to trumpet the fact whenever they could. For their part, Pridnestrovia accepted that they were at a disadvantage against the Anglatians, but while their puppets were still being trained in using Anglatia’s advanced equipment, Pridnestroviav had the edge in experience. However, as the war dragged on and the puppets gained more experience in Anglatian technology, victories against the puppets became less and less until only against the poorly-equipped Nordskanian People’s Army were the Pridnestrovian Armed Forces able to record victories as of late. But the fact remained that the Pridnestrovians handed the Sopova Front to the Mountain Pact on a silver platter and that the Ryakova Front remained secure.

Fourteen billion marks in war reparations… Where could the Anglatians have come up with such a figure? Damages to the city of Puloko, as far as Pankavuranov had been told, totalled three billion rubles, although he didn’t know how much Anglatian marks that was worth. The ruble had been hyper-inflated in recent years although strangely the war had served to stabilize the currency. If Anglatia claimed that the rest of the reparations was due to damage dealt to the other members of the Mountain Pact then they were obviously just milking the Pridnestrovians. The vaunted anti-air defense system of the northern anarchists had held up despite the Pridnestrovians’ best efforts, and there was barely any damage to the northern cities, something which rankled the Pridnestrovian leadership verily. Damages to the north wouldn’t probably even amount to one hundred thousand rubles or marks or whatever.

The Republic of Vestania would establish its new homeland in the city of Puloko. Then where would the Republic of Nordskania be after the borders had been redrawn? Does that mean that Anglatia doesn’t want any Pridnestrovian-supported states in Nordskania? That wasn’t fair, was it? Why should only the imperialists have puppets in this island? Why can’t the communists have their own pet regime? Was Anglatian intending to give Pridnestrovia the short end of the stick?

Someone knocked on the door of Pankavuranov’s office. “Come!” he called out, and Major General Yaroslav Mikhailovich Yevin entered the office. “What do you have for me, Yaroslav Mikhailovich?” he asked.

“Comrade General,” Yevin began, “I am afraid that I bring bad news from the fronts.”

“Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself, Yaroslav Mikhailovich,” Pankavuranov said breezily. “How grim could this news be? It doesn’t involve my son or my brother or nephew, does it?”

“No, Vsevolod Leonidovich, of course not,” Yevin replied. “I am afraid it’s much worse than that, General. Our forces on the Sopova and Ryakova fronts have been forced into full retreat by the opposition.”

“Ah, that’s supposed to be the way it is in the Sopova Front, Yaroslav Mikhailovich. We discovered evidence of the Vestanians’ duplicity so we decided to let their cities fall to the Mountain Pact if they want to join them so fucking much.”

“But that’s the problem, sir. This isn’t a tactically executed manoeuvre anymore. It’s devolved into a full-scale retreat. Our forces are in full disarray.”

“What!? How in heaven’s name is that possible?” But Pankavuranov already knew the answer even before Yevin replied to his question.

“The Anglatians have always had a technological advantage, Vsevolod Leonidovich, and we’ve accepted that,” Yevin said. “Our early victories against the anarchists and Anglatia’s other puppets were more due to the fact that they were still not yet adequately trained in the equipment gifted to them by Colden’s subordinates. Then when actual Anglatian units moved into the island and the anarchists and fascists were finally fully trained in their new equipment, we lost the momentum of victory. Even the Ryakova front has collapsed under the onslaught of reinforcements from the north, coupled with Vestanian volunteers who want to take the fighting to us.”

“Vestanian volunteers? How in the world did the imperialists get Vestanian volunteers to fight for them?”

“We all know of the large Vestanian diaspora scattered throughout the multiverse. They have not taken lightly to the fact that we have executed the leaders of the Vestanian Protection Forces even though they fully deserved it for attempting to backstab us.”

“Backstabbing traitors, the lot of them,” Pankavuranov spat out. “I’ve never seen a more spineless and cowardly bunch. We had already guaranteed their independence! We would have given them full independence, not just the shadowy freedom which Anglatia’s puppets have. What is it about these imperialists which attract all these people to them? What do the imperialists have that we don’t? What makes faraway peoples like the Vestanians want to risk their lives fighting for a place, a country they haven’t even seen?”

“I don’t know, Vsevolod Leonidovich,” Yevin admitted. “I don’t know. However, I do think that we have stumbled upon the key to the Mountain Pact’s resurgent victory over our forces. The fact that volunteers have come out of the woodwork to fight and die for a faraway country like Anglatia and Nordskania tells me that they are the edge which the Mountain Pact has well and truly picked up over us. We make fun of the Anglatians for getting puppets to fight their wars for them while we pride ourselves on dealing with this conflict with our own armed forces. Dare I say that this is where we have made the telling mistake? We fight with our own forces while Anglatia sits back and laughs at us as their puppets absorb all of our blows and then, when we have battered ourselves on their meat-sacks, that is when they come and strike the killing blow to us. The Mountain Pact has volunteers and puppets fighting for them while we have only ourselves. And I believe the fact that we have become the losing side in this conflict is that we have forgotten the reason why we have invaded Nordskania in the first place.”

“Pray remind me of the reason, Yaroslav Mikhailovich,” Pankavuranov said.

“All we were supposed to do in Nordskania was to eliminate all the various factions which have sprung up in the country following the Rose Revolution,” Yevin replied carefully. “We have, dare I say, succeeded in the mission of destroying all of the Rose movements except for the Blue Roses, which has turned into the fascist State of Nordskania, established by the emperor’s girlfriend and therefore under his personal protection. We have smashed the Soviet Republic of Nordskania to bits. Andriychuk is gone with the wind, and we have captured Boyko. And, for almost the entirety of this war, we have kept the Nordskanian Democratic People’s Republic holed up in Ryakova with no way of expanding their territory. Only now with help from the anarchists and Vestanian volunteers were they able to break through our siege. Don’t you see, Vsevolod Leonidovich? We have already achieved the main objective which we had set out for ourselves when we took the decision to invade Nordskania. The Rose Revolution is dead, stamped out underneath our boots. Why do we even have to create this Republic of Nordskania? Is it just so we can have our own puppet regime in this country by the time the peace negotiations roll around? Or is it for a darker, more nefarious purpose? Have we become like the imperialists, Vsevolod? Are we right now setting aside this land for eventual annexation?”

“Don’t mention that word again, Yaroslav,” Pankavuranov said, his mood darkening. “I ask this simple favour of you. I do not want to hear of it ever again.”

“So it’s true, then?” Yevin forced on. “The Comrade President has indeed intended to make Nordskania an eventual part of Pridnestrovia, is that correct?”

“No, that is wrong, Yaroslav, and you know it!” Pankavuranov said forcefully. “You are only repeating the slander and lies of the counterrevolutionary elements! There is no truth in the words which you speak! Besides, the real last ditch option which the Comrade President wants us to carry out is to take the vast majority of our invasion army and then land in the northern cities of Turbayov, Masloka, Kurovo, and Maslev and show the anarchists that they’re actually still vulnerable.”

“But, Vsevolod, that’s tantamount to a suicide operation!” Yevin cried out. “Yes, the anarchists’ armies are here in the south fighting us, but what proof or intelligence do we have which says that the north has left their cities undefended? What if they have hidden forces and assets waiting to throw us back to the sea in case we do try to attempt landings in their cities?”

“I said much the same thing to the Comrade President when he suggested his plan to me,” Pankavuranov admitted. “The possibility of a raid in the northern Nordskanian cities is still something which we should consider, but I will not allow whole armies to be directed to such an operation. Do you know what this means, Yaroslav? It means that it is now time for us to head for the negotiating table with the Mountain Pact, much as I hate to say those words.”

“Yes, Comrade General, I daresay that the time is now ripe for negotiation,” Yevin agreed. “I shall alert the necessary people.”

“You do that, and I’ll alert the soldiers. This is the only choice we have left without resorting to the extreme forms of warfare, as the Comrade President calls them.”

---

CRESCENT NEWS NETWORK
SPORTS CHANNEL - OFFICIAL WEBSITE
ABANHFLEFT • PRIDNESTROVIA • OONTAZ DERT LI NG • COPPER CUPRUM • TRENDSTART • FHULGHAMOUS PENINSULA

WORLD CUP 77 QUALIFIERS: REPUBLIC OF KABOOMLANDIA VS ABANHFLEFT
By Malik Qazizadah


Abanhfleft's Tristan Lee celebrates his game-winning penalty against the Republic of Kaboomlandia. (Courtesy of Crescent News Network Sports Channel/Andros Tasasa)

ORNKOLPING, REPUBLIC OF KABOOMLANDIA - Abanhfleft returned to winning ways against the Republic of Kaboomlandia following a controversial decision in favor of the visitors which saw Tristan Lee score the decisive penalty kick.

Abanhfleft manager Ranulph Bustamante had been forced to make two changes to his starting eleven by virtue of illnesses which had struck down both Maksim Varamoninov and Daisuke Ogigayatsu on the eve of the qualifier against the Republic of Kaboomlandia, with Samwell Crownover and Zakarya Bergkamp moving into the respective positions vacated by the sick players.

This shakeup of the lineup may have been a contributing factor to Abanhfleft's shaky play during the first half as neither team managed to register a shot on target despite many attempts by players from both sides to find the goal.

A stern word from both managers during half-time then did the job of reinvigorating both teams as they finally began stringing together moves which gave them clearer-cut chances to open the scoring, and Rory Edwards would end up claiming that honor for the Revolutionaries as he tapped in the ball following Kevin Kelvin's pull-back.

But the Republic of Kaboomlandia (which insists on not being mistaken for the other nation known simply as Kaboomlandia) found a way back into the match just eight minutes later as striker Tor Akelund outmuscled two Fleftic defenders to smash in the cross from Raymond Lundstrom.

Both sides then pressed long and hard for the winning goal until Fleftic substitutes Omar El Salah and Vitaly Zima combined in injury time to produce what should have been a simple headed goal for the Imperial Markovsky striker, but Mikka Salomon's arm prevented the ball from crossing the line, resulting in a penalty awarded to Abanhfleft and Salomon getting sent off.

Further replays then appeared to show that the ball had actually hit Salomon's chest and not his arm, but despite that, Tristan Lee, the third Fleftic substitute, then secured all three points with a composed finish right to the bottom right corner of the net.


Abanhfleft manager Ranulph Bustamante: This win is all about grit and determination

Abanhfleft manager Ranulph Bustamante: "I'll have to break the old cliches out of the closet again, aren't I? Oh, what else am I supposed to say? The team dug deep within themselves to get all three points out of this contest. It's what we have to do after we dropped unnecessary points against Hazard Nation. This is what we have to do to keep up with the group leaders, and thank God we were able to do it tonight."

"This win is all about the grit and determination present in any given side. Whichever side has the more grit and determination will get the win, plain and simple. Sure, people will say that we got the win under controversial circumstances, but when you're the winning side, the manner of victory often doesn't matter so long as you actually win. That's the way things have been, and that's the way things will be."

Abanhfleft's World Cup qualification credentials will be tested starting next month when they host Acronius. After that, they have to head to Sabrefell to go up against current group leaders Nephara before playing host to potential dark horses Eshan.

REPUBLIC OF KABOOMLANDIA 1 - 2 ABANHFLEFT
           AKELUND (59')       R. EDWARDS (51')
         SALOMON (90' █)       LEE (90+2' pen)

ABANHFLEFT
GK: 13 Crownover
RB: 2 Afolayan
RCB: 4 L. Edwards
LCB: 5 Owobowale
LB: 16 Bergkamp
RM: 8 Vincelot
CM: 7 Zolnerov
LM: 6 Marilungo
CAM: 10 R. Edwards (El Salah - 62')
RS: 9 Kelvin (V. Zima - 71')
LS: 11 Dagen (Lee - 71')

REPUBLIC OF KABOOMLANDIA
GK: 1 Marnaren
RB: 2 Seller
CB: 3 Grayberg
LB: 5 Alberts
RM: 6 Salomon █
RCM: 7 Hansen
LCM: 8 Ahlgren (Nemychev - 64')
LM: 4 Selten
RW: 11 Lundstrom
CF: 10 Akelund (Krychov - 89')
LW: 9 Backstrom (Robertsen - 80')

MATCH STATISTICS
Possession
Republic of Kaboomlandia: 45%
Abanhfleft: 55%
Shots
Republic of Kaboomlandia: 12 (5 on target)
Abanhfleft: 17 (9 on target)
Corners
Republic of Kaboomlandia: 5
Abanhfleft: 5
Fouls
Republic of Kaboomlanda: 24
Abanhfleft: 19

[Juvencus]

Juvencus gets the 3 points again!


Juven players celebrating victory

Mattijana XI:
GK:Matej Handanović
CB:Edvard Crajasović
CB:Katija Burnisevič
RB:Dominik Illisević
LB:Helena Neumann
CM;Marko Hojbjerg
CM:Jago Adrianov
RM:Jessika Struna
LM:Sophia Velezia
CF:Mathilde Lekaris
CF:Andreas Weiss

Juvencus XI:
GK:Naldo Zappa
CB:Dudu Madeiros
CB:Valerio Scarpa
CB:Maximilliano Pissetti
CDM:Elio Prevenzano
CDM:Filipe Rodrigues
RM:Hugo Grec
LM:Angelino Alberighi
LF:Joaquim Martell
RF:Oriol Vives
CF:Rodolfo Gallo

An absolutely dominant Juvencus side played against Mattijana which seemed superior to them, at least in paper. This match was a solver of the point difference between the two which was none since both teams had 5 points at the start of the match. But a formed duo of Martell and Gallo were able to smash it on the Mattijanan net once and twice each. Keeping Juvencus at 5th, tied with Savojarna.

The first half started with Mattijana on possession. Struna found Weiss all alone in the box after siding Scarpa up but her cross wasn't strong and Pissetti was able to kick the ball out, starting a counter attack. Rodrigues then crossed it to Vives, who started doing magic with the ball on his feet. First, he got in a tight situation on which he dribbled through Neumann and Hojbjerg who had given him limited space, the he proceeded to the centre of the defence, close to the box, passing it to Rodolfo Gallo, Gallo was able to find space for a strong shot and he was able to capitalise with Juvencus getting the lead early on. However, after the first goal, 2 Vives and 3 Gallo chances followed, Vives' chances got saved and Gallo's chances went wide. Mattijana was unable to get possession for a long time, since Juven players were absolutely dominating the field. Martell was able to get a through ball played by Vives and found himself on the side of the box, shooting a curvy goal which ended in, thus settling the early Juven lead. No chances followed for the rest of the half, just possessive play by Juvencus which resulted in Mattijanan player Jago Adrianov getting mad and punching Alberighi before getting sent off.

The second half saw a determined Alberighi -and a Juvencus side in general- trying to push on to make it 0-3. At the start of the half, speedy Alberighi wasn't going to get easily caught by the Mattijanan players until Neumann's tackle got him for good. Alberighi got mad and Martell let him do the free kick. The result was a magnificent 3rd goal for Juvencus and Alberighi celebrating in front of a still mad Adrianov indicating 3 to 0. Alberighi then got yellowcarded. After Alberighi calmed down, the usual Juven play kept on. Alberighi crossed it on the other side to Vives and then Vives gave the through ball to Gallo but he was unable to score a final goal which could settle a smashing victory for Juvencus. Juvencus is staying alive at 5th, currently. Next match is against Savojarna with the Savojars also coming from a win against Tobiasia with 2-0.

Match mistakes:
Juvencus:Good ol' Juven players should get better at shooting. Despite scoring goals in almost every match they play, they're unable to capitalise most chances. This game alongside the game against Tobiasia and Turori are clear proof. The wins over Tobiasia and Mattijana could have a much bigger margin were the Juven squad more credible scorers. As in the game against Turori, Juven players could have easily equalised, to say the least.
Mattijana:Not the best day for the Mattijanans. All they have to watch out for is their behaviour on the pitch as well as their defending. Juvencus kept a 70% possession which is massive. Defending and intercepting are key, as well as more sportstastic behaviour.

Top scroers this cycle's WCQ:
Joaquim Martell: 5 goals
Angelino Alberighi: 2 goals
Rodolfo Gallo: 2 goals
Oriol Vives: 1 goal

Top assistmakers this cycle's WCQ:
Oriol Vives: 3 assists
Angelino Alberighi: 1 assist
Joaquim Martell: 1 assist
Aleix Costa: 1 assist

Ticket sales:
You can show your support for the team against Savojarna in the upcoming matchday for 25 pesos in front of the stadium as well as juventickets.jue
Food and drinks ranging from 5 to 10 pesos, depending on the saler.

Kit sales:
A new feature is kit sales. Kits will now be found in the front stands of the stadium as well as online at juvenkits.jue. The prices are ranging from 40 to 55 pesos, depending on the size.

---

The new national team logo's design

New national team logo!

The Juvencus football association recently published the design of the new national team logo which is going to be used in future competitions. The logo features the coat of arms in the flag of Juvencus as well as the 2 wreathes that are on the side. One being purple and the other being red with golden outlines to represent the gold in the flag as well. On the bottom, Juvencus is written in latin characters.

The idea emerged as an agreement by the Juven FA and Sunrisian artists, who wanted Juvencus to have a more modern logo and something much more representative. This all came for a price, as the artists got paid 800 thousand pesos for their work. The price seems legitimate though, since the general public seems to have a positive opinion over the new logo's design.

Even the king publicly announced his pleasings over the logo's design. Quoting "This logo is very nice and very representative of our culture and history. It's always nice seeing this kind of format being put into sports teams. I hope this will bring luck and determination to our players."

---

Alberighi to Plympton Town?

Different rumours suggest that U.S Scudelli as well as international Angelino Alberighi is under negotiations with Mercedinian Premier League club Plympton Town. Rumours also suggest that his price ranges all the way up to 1.5 million dollars or 1 million pesos. The superstar winger has had a great 2 seasons at U.S Scudelli as well as doing good on the international scene, having scored 2 and assisted 1 in his last 6 appearances for the national team.

Nor Alberighi or his manager have openly discussed this subject but a move like this is very highly likely for the winger, seeking to play football abroad to get some experience and a different ideology on how the game is set. However, Plympton Town have openly discussed their interest in the 24 year old in Mercedinian and international press.

Could this move happen in the next transfer window? A move like this could be game changing for both leagues, as the talented winger is also a very keen assistmaker.

[Ethane]

6 games into the qualifiers, and the team from Ethane is one of only 4 teams to have won all of their games.

Coming into this cycle, there was a sense of gloom after the previous cycle, in which Ethane should have at least come close to reaching the world cup, but failed to reach the playoffs even, despite facing a weaker-than-normal team from Ficiscia.

However, despite this sense of gloom about the prospects of the team, the team have been performing at their best, beating Electrum in the third match one-nil, and winning every game so far, putting them top of the group - the first time they have really held this position in any decent capacity.

After this performance from the team so far, people in Ethane have become optimistic about the chances of the Red Kites, with some hoping that this is 'our cycle'.

Considering that in the group, the Red Kites are doing significantly better than other group leaders, including the world number one, despite only just scraping into the to 50 rankings, this could potentially be the case if the team can maintain this strong defensive path they are finding, with their success (albeit limited) in front of goal.

However, it must be put into consideration where in the cycle they currently find themselves in. The team have only played 1/3 of their games. The team is yet to face the second seed in the group, who while they appear to be weak, could surprise the lower ranked team from Ethane. The team will also have to face every team again, including top seed Electrum.

Therefore, while the team has had great successes so far, and their greatest start to a world cup cycle ever, we are far from being able to call it our cycle, as we are far from a qualification position yet.

[Northern Sunrise Islands]

The five stood in front of a wooden door not too far from their home apartment.
Sunrise hid behind Kirisaki.
"...You're really scared, aren't you?"
"Given he asked at least five times if we couldn't just wait for Nephara to return from his trip-"
"Six."
"Why do you let her get away with it?"
"Coincidences."
"He always did something to justify a walloping as far as I'm aware."
"L-look, she was just unlucky, OK? It's not like I do it on purpose!"
Chrom shrugged, knocking at the door.
"Surely, she won't react poorly if we politely ask her about the fanged girl."
Pasarga opened the door, looking at the group.
"Good morning, gentlemen and ladies."
"Gentlemen?"
"I can see Sunrise hiding behind the lass."
"Damn."
"You tried, darling."
"I imagine you want to speak with Madam Valanora."
"We need to ask her about a girl she might know about."
"Fair enough. Come in."

Sunrise was visibly uneasy, trying to remain hiding behind someone.
"Sir, I understand your worries but I'd really appreciate if you stopped hiding behind me."
"Ahem... Well... You know."
"You should calm down, don't think she'll beat you up again if you don't give her a reason."
"Honestly, it's not like I don't like her or anything."
Sunrise looked to the ceiling of the elf's apartment just as she entered the room with a bag of groceries.
"I mean, she kind of made a name for herself, it's something I don't think I'd ever do and while sure, I did manage to pull some really good runs as of late, she's still probably the best trainer around for all the impact she had on the tournament's history, let alone being able to dominate during some of the most stellar competitions we ever had. I admire her efforts."
"Say, that was actually very nice of you, Sunrise."
"GAH!"
Sunrise jumped out of fear, accidentally stepping on Valanora's right foot, making her drop the groceries.
"SUNRISE!"
"AH!"
He ran away, hiding back at his home.
"For Elune's sake! Pasarga, didn't I tell you to not let him in here?"
"Still reeling from the turkey head incident, Madam?"
"YES!"
"I'm sorry, madam."
"Grr..."
"Anyway, he came with a group of people as well."
She got up from getting the groceries, looking at the other visitors.
"Huh. Greetings."
"Sorry about my husband."
"Wait. You married?"
"Well, we're still picking a day for that."
"...And you had the girl before marrying as well."
"No-"
Kitsunia put a hand over Qasden's mouth.
"Uh... Y-yeah. We weren't very careful..."
"Hmpf. The youth these days. And who is this girl?"
"Kirisaki of the Shining Moon, madam!"
"That's a really long name. Are you related to any of these?"
"It's a... well... long story."
"She's on the same boat as me, pretty much."
"Oh, Chrom. How are you?"
"I'm... ahem, fine. Sorry about Sunrise, I requested him to take me here."
"You could've come here under your own choice. I don't bite."
"You wallop!"
The elf looked at Qasden, only for her adoptive mother to put a place on her mouth again.
"Sorry."
"Well... I wasn't really sure about it, but I do need to ask you about a person."
"If I can help with anything. Pasarga."
"Yes, madam?"
"Bring us tea and my album of pictures, if you may."
"Understood. Will do."

Chrom found the mint tea to be delightful, although he pondered why none of his friends were doing the same.
Kirisaki was poking at the tea package with a spoon for some reason, Qasden was disgusted by the taste and Kitsunia simply refused it.
Valanora opened up the album, starting out with some really old pictures.
"Oof! Those are some really old pictures."
"They're family memories from a far away past."
Chrom could swear he saw a relative of his on one of the pictures but not as posessed as on the tale of Sir Sunrise.
"Would you believe this was actually me?"
She pointed to an elf looking an awful lot like her, brandishing a bow and a couple of arrows on hand in another picture.
"You look rather young here."
"This was before my 156th birthday."
"...Eh? This old?"
"Elves are known for having a longer lifespan than humans and it so happens that I'm one of the few surviving ones."
"The Atlantians formed their society over the lands of mythical creatures. Sadly, most of those ended up feeling like they were pushed aside and voluntarily left."
"They couldn't see the benefits of a land where all sorts of people walked by. I never agreed with that."
"...wait, so you met Sir Sunrise?"
Kirisaki peeked up, her interest raised after hearing the name of her family's old rival.
"Yes. He was rather divisive. He had good intentions, but had he married Mikoto; not only would have he not doomed the Esportivan Commonwealth but the Arceusian Sun's reign of horror after his death wouldn't have followed."
She flipped another page, finding a picture of her with Sir Sunrise and his eventual wife.
"Then again, he was overwhelmed with his status. I can still remember a bit of what he said during his marriage with his-"
"U-uh, missus Valanora?"
Qasden raised her hand up.
"Yes, Sunrise's daughter?"
"H-how can you have photos from the year 1870?"
"Arch."
They all collectivelly shrugged.
"Reasonable answer. Anyway, Sunrise did tell a story about Sir Sunrise and Gaiatheia."
"Yes, I do remember that as well. I also recall how the Northeasterners were angered after finding out what happened to their supposed secret weapon, although not as mad as when they found out what Krytenia's great-great-great-grandfather had done with their money."
The next page had a letter from that said man celebrating his trip to the Paradise Islands.
"I remember them collectively damning him, hoping for Thunder in Paradise."
"Ahem. I actually wanted to ask about a girl."
"Oh, feel free."
"Well... I've met a girl yesterday. She had silver hair, looked rather pale from what I could figure, had really red eyes and fangs."
"I think I know this person. Did she happen to have a Gothorita?"
"Yeah. And that Pokémon saved my life."
Valanora laughed a bit.
"Then I know exactly who's the person you found."

The photo had Valanora and the girl that met Chrom posing for a picture at what seemed like a Halloween party.
"That's her! Didn't change a single thing!"
"Her name is Yesopalitha. From what I recall, she showed up a while back, participating in tournaments. She got to the quarter-finals once before disappearing one day."
"Wait. If this is from Halloween, then why did you say it didn't change a single thing?"
"Yesopalitha happened to be a vampire as well. It was hard to face her on tournaments because of that."
The elf handed Chrom the picture, taking a sip of her glass of tea afterwards.
"Hard for you humans. Elves are fine around vampires. I believe Audio and Nephara met her as well."
"She said that!"
"Figures. It's odd, however. She disappeared all of a sudden and didn't exactly inform us very well."
"She noted that her mission was to show dark was not evil."
"Fits her personality. I do recall most people being scared of facing her. Got a couple of walk out wins back in the day."
"Hmmm... So, where can I find her?"
"You can't. Or at least, not in a way that I know of. As I said, she disappeared. Had you not met her, I'd think she had been slained or something of the like."

Chrom was looking at his bowl of soup, Sunrise already cleaning the dishes from everyone else after the dinner.
"Say, Chrom, you're looking a bit... confused."
"I never thought vampires were real, Sunrise. It's all... illogical."
"Well, one of our neighbors is an elf, we used to have a pony trotting around and we all remember the Fog incident."
"But... It's... You know, a vampire. And she saved me."
"From what I heard from you, she saved you for two good reasons."
"Yeah, but... Would you think that Yesopalitha was a vampire?"
"...Wait, that was the person?"
"Uh... yeah, Valanora told us."
"I was on my home, hiding, remember?"
"True but... why did it sound like you knew her?"
"Well, I know the name from a great Halloween party we had. It was almost as cool as New Years' Eve 2014."
"What happened there?"
"More like what didn't happen at that New Year's Eve, man."
"At the Halloween, Sunrise."
"Oh, right. I think I remember that as well."

Halloween.
Apox and Sunrise found a way to get stuck as the waiters for the annual Halloween Party of the Pokémon World Cup Association.
Apox, outfitted as Sherlock Holmes, was rather excited about it. Sunrise, stuck with a Werehog costume, on the other hand.
"I swear, this is full of crap. Why do we have to act as waiters for this?"
"I personally think this is a very good job for both of us. Plus, you still owe Commerce Heights for cleaning up your mess back at the Easter party."
"It was all the elf's fault! She totally should've dodged my brand new Rocket Easter Egg!"
"We really need to start imposing limits over you being near rockets."
"Whatever, man. It's just... this sucks."
"Stop complaining, Sunrise, and take this plate of sweets around for the partygoers."
"Fine!"
"And remember to smile."
Sunrise sighed, walking around with the sweets.
He was still rather muffled that he and Apox were denied invitations and the fact they got a last-minute enty due to both Swiftlandre and Taijan calling in sick at the last minute to work the party as waiters didn't help matters.
"Are you OK, young man?"
He stared at a pale, slender girl, noticeable for her really good vampire costume.
"Uh... No, I'm fine, I guess. Nice to meet ya... Vampirella?"
"Yesopalitha, rare Pokémon hunter. I believe you're at least aware about one of the upcoming great trainers in town."
"Not a whole lot. Apox is more deep into this, I'm more about inventing stuff."
"So, you're an inventor, eh? Do tell more."
She slapped at one of the chairs near her.
"Unless you're busy."
The two just talked for the following hours.
Apox would often pass by, giving the angry looks at Sunrise for ditching work just to hang out with a girl but it wasn't quite as he thought, funnily enough.
"So, you really want to know about my dreams?"
"Yes. The tale of someone that travelled from a small town just to accomplish his dreams sounds delightful."
"W-well... I didn't want to fit the future my parents pushed me to, moving to a big city was always my dream as there's much more to it than my hometown but..."
"But?"
"T-there's this girl. She's sort of my cousin."
"Hoho... A cousin?"
"Y-yeah, but she's adopted. Her parents died when she was very young and my aunt adopted her."
"So another sufferer?"
"I-in a way... B-but she was always nice to me and... well, she had a doll. I want to fix that doll for her and then finally be able to confess."
"Would you like my opinion?"
"Sure!"
"Fix the doll, but wait for her."
"Wait?"
"Yes. If she is as you say, she probably feels the same about you and it'd probably be nice for the little foxy girl from St. Futurnian to tell it to the cousin she always looked up to what she really feels."
"U-uh... OK!"
"And tell you what, why don't you enjoy the party? I'll go clean up your name with Valanora and the others."
"U-uh... T-thanks, Miss Yeso!"
"It's fine. Just promise you'll never change, OK? One day, we'll meet again in better terms."
Sunrise nodded as the vampire left. Apox quickly darted to the table.
"You done pissing around time, mate? We got tables to attend to."
"...Think we won't need to do that for the rest of the night."
"Why?"
He looked at the girl he had been talking with discussing with the others.
"Just a feeling, man. Just a feeling."

Sunrise looked at the open window, a bit thinkative.
"Never met her after that, wished I could've said thanks for cleaning us out and with enough time to have fun to boot."
"Well, that clears up but..."
"Yeah?"
"What about that Easter party?"
"You might wanna get some popcorn."
He laughed, looking at Chrom.
"Because it's a looooong story."

---

The Frigideira had awakened in a different way than the usual.
Dainer opened his eyes rather slowly, finding himself to be alone in the one of the dormitories.
He walked up to the ship's kitchen, finding Northwestern and Northern Sunrise cooking what seemed like lunch for the entire crew.
"You look a bit overwhelmed, little girl."
"Oh, hello, Mr. Dainer! Worry not, Northern Sunrise helps me with cooking. Besides, today's a big day!"
Northern Sunrise nodded, smiling, as he carried around a dish of cookies to place in a box.
"What is it? You're all going to watch me battle Ancharmunn?"
Northern Sunrise said something on sign language.
"N-not really... We're watching Sunrise face the fog of the Holy Empire!"
"...S-Sunrise?"
"Yeah, Sunrise! My brother, the current two-time World Champion!"
"Can I-"
"According to Western Sunrise, no. She doesn't trust you to not attack him."
"...Whatever! See if I care! I'm beating Ancharmunn and you'll all watch Sunrise lose!"

Western Sunrise and most of her crew watched in the plaza nearby as Sunrise waited for his latest opponent.
He seemed rather focused, but he was lacking Kitsunia.
Helps Kitsunia too was taking part at the qualifiers, although her lack of training and winning the Global Cup with loaned Pokémon made her qualifier debut be not as good as she expected.
Northern Sunrise munched on one of his sister's trademark cookies, Northwestern watched how her brother stood peacefully on the middle of the park.
A mass of fog slowly approached.
An ominous voice started to talk from, seemingly, the fog.
"Sunrise!"
"Hey."
"It appears we once again face!"
"True. I guess you're planning on giving me a hard time."
"Indeed! In fact..."
The fog uncovered the center of the plaza, not truly hiding the battleground but rather showing something weird.
Sunrise stared at what was in the middle of that fog.
Almost like looking at the mirror, a version of himself, dressed on the usual Holy Empire colors and with noticeable dark eyes with red orbs.
"A mirror match if you will."
He then unleashed a Mewtwo, smiling.
"Although slightly tipped on my side."

That Mewtwo had been ridiculously strong.
Then again, Sunrise's idea of trying out his weaker Pokémon, such as the Venomoth and the Oddish he caught on Evergreen Forest didn't help out matters.
Sunrise, however, didn't seem upset.
"You're not making this very fun for me, but I do have to say I'm surprised you seem fine with losing."
"Actually, I wanted to figure out your gimmick."
"...Gimmick?"
"Yeah."
Sunrise whipped out his phone from his pocket, smiling.
"I've often noticed how you're always different. Whenever we face, I'm facing something totally different."
"...Yes?"
"And that I'm one of the craftiest managers in town."
He unleashed his Haunter.
"Fair enough. Use Psystrike, Metwo!"
"Shadow Punch."
The Haunter fired a punch at thin air, shooting Mewtwo far out the cloud before any sort of move could've been done by the legendary, doing it out in one hit.
"What?"
"I might've figured your gimmick. Your Pokémon are as strong as you think, then again, so do mine."
"Grrr... Giratina, go!"
The legendary Pokémon Giratina appeared. Sunrise, however, wasn't exactly worried.
"Again, Haunter. Shadow Punch."
Haunter repeated his actions, again firing the legendary out of the cloud. Sunrise couldn't see what happened to either, but given how he traded them off, it sounded like he had tied things down.
"So. It's either that or..."
Sunrise clicked a bit on his phone.
"W-w-what are you doing?"
"Do you like music?"
Sunrise did a final click on his phone.
A cheery tune started to play.
"We like to party
We like, We like to party"
The fog started to blur, the mirror Sunrise itself failing to stand.
"And it could all be an illusion."
"G-GO ARCEUS!"
"I've got something to tell ya
I've got news for you
Gonna put some wheels in motion
Get ready 'cause we're coming through
Hey now, hey now, here's what I say now
Happiness is just around the corner
Hey now, hey now, here's what I say now
We'll be there for you"
The fog started to fade, leaving only a smaller portion of itself and an Unown, which he tried to pass out as an Arceus.
"Damn you!"
"Shadow Punch."
The Haunter beat the final Unown, a letter G one no less.
"Well, that was fun."
He stopped the music, laughing.
"I liked the 'bout. Next time, bring something different."
"Grrr... Wait until next match!"
Northwestern smiled, looking at Western Sunrise.
"This was a great match, eh, Sunrise?"
"...I COULDN'T SEE A DAMN!"

[Mercedini]

Newsdesk: 12/02/17
@ Zoloroni Sports City Stadium - Zoloroni, Mercedini

Hello and Welcome to the Mercedini Sports Daily Newsdesk broadcasting in Mercedini and throughout the multiverse. There has been plenty of news developing as we give you all the information regarding Mercedini's World Cup Qualifying campaign, domestic transfers and domestic competitions that will give you your fix for Mercedinian Sport. We will start with news regarding their WCQ campaign and the latest developments in their quests to qualify for the World Cup in Quebec and San Jose Guayabal for the very first time.

World Cup Qualification: Are Mercedini Running Out Of Steam?

---

FINAL SCORE

WCQ | MD5

---

VILITA 5
MERCEDINI 1

---

Alikka-Corra, Vilita

After a flawless start to qualification with four wins in their first four games, Mercedini received their first loss of the campaign at the hands of the group's highest ranked team; Vilita. It was a crushing and rather embarrassing 5-1 away defeat with Mercedini not at the races at all during the match. Vilita organised themselves well and dealt with almost every opportunity that came their way. The only bright spot of the match was Billic's rather emphatic consolation late in the game which denied the home team a clean sheet and added another goal to Mercedini's all-time top goal scorer. The goal came from a Mercedinian breakaway with Presic sending a deep cross which was thrashed into the top corner by Billic for the arguably the best goal of the came, unfortunately it was too little too late for the Golden Eagles as they fell to their first loss and relinquished the top spot in the group. Many cynics and critics have argued that if Mercedini can't beat the top teams then they would fare too well in the actual World Cup, something that the players and coaching staff are trying to prove wrong by qualifying for the World Cup and overcoming two higher ranked nations and stealing a top-two spot. The defensive issues finally came to a head in Vilita and this time the attackers couldn't bail them out.

FINAL SCORE

WCQ | MD6

---

MERCEDINI 2
COLLATIS 2

---

Zoloroni, Mercedini

When the team arrived back in Zoloroni, the Golden Eagles immediately back in training with David Bjarnasson and his coaching staff mainly focusing on the defensive aspect of Mercedini's play, as that has been a weakness ever since the first match. The positive has been that Mercedini have scored in every match which means the likelihood of a win increases. On the contrary, Mercedini have not recorded a clean sheet in qualifying thus far which is especially damning considering Mercedini have played teams ranked much much lower against them. The match against Collatis magnified said issue as stoppage time goal in both halves for Collatis meant that Mercedini dropped points against the plucky minnows who recorded their first points of the campaign because of that match. Mercedini went ahead mid-way through the first half with a threaded through pass towards Ben Chillotov who coolly guided the ball between the goalkeepers legs and into the net. The teams went in at the break level as Collatis bundled the ball into the from a corner in first half stoppage time, much to the dissatisfaction of the home fans who see their side concede yet another goal. The action of the second half was very similar to the first as Mercedini dominated possession but couldn't stick the ball in the net for much of the half but they looked to have emerge from the match with a win as Nymark headed in from a corner with about ten minutes of the game left. Once again, though, Collatis scored in stoppage time which gave Mercedini no time to reply. a deflected cross which was turned goal wards gave Collatis an equaliser at the death. Mercedini dropping points against a team many were expecting to beat. 2-2 the final score, Mercedini still in second place after that match.

# Group 12                                    Pld   W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts    H     A
 1 Vilita                                      6    5   1   0    17    9   +8    16    -    1-5
 2 Mercedini                                   6    4   1   1    17   14   +3    13
 3 West Angola                                 6    3   2   1     8    2   +6    11    -     -
 4 Savalen                                     6    3   1   2    16   12   +4    10   4-3    -
 5 Prusy Krolewskie                            6    2   2   2     9    6   +3     8    -     -
 6 Gadirya                                     6    2   1   3     9    9    0     7    -    2-1
 7 Kitsunia-Deesse                             6    1   3   2    11   12   −1     6    -    3-2
 8 Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland    6    2   0   4     4   16  −12     6   5-1 
 9 Kernovi                                     6    0   4   2     4    7   −3     4    -     -
10 Collatis                                    6    0   1   5     6   14   −8     1   2-2    -

Mercedini now sit in second spot with still a whopping 12 matches still to play. Mercedini's will now play West Angola which is a six-pointer if there ever was one. A win would see Mercedini go at least three points ahead of whoever is in third place while a draw would suffice but would no doubt cut Mercedini's cushion that they currently have with the rest of the field closing in. A loss would no doubt be a disaster as they would relinquish yet another spot and would fall out of the all-important top-2 who will qualify for the World Cup. Mercedini will need to rely on their personal results but can also rely on other teams to hold rivals to draws and take points to help Mercedini's cause.

New Recruits at Plympton & Carvi

---

They may have not gone home with a trophy but Juvencus nationals Angelino Alberighi & Hugo Grec could soon be making waves in Mercedini as they have been signed by Mercedinian Premier League clubs Plympton Town and Carvi Albion respectively. Both players have been signed from domestic league sides in Juvencus and have been tipped for greatness by their national team manager and coaching staff. Alberighi is 'a fast and agile player and usually whenever he's involved in a goal he's most likely to be the assistmaker' and has joined the Plympton side on an undisclosed fee, which is believed to be in the region of 1,000,000 NS$ which has been reported by the press back in Juvencus. Hugo Grec has caught the attention of Carvi Albion and is believed to be a rising star back in his home nation. His price has been anticipated to be in the region of 1,500,000 NS$ which many pundits and fans believe is a steal at that price, he's a player with tremendous potential going forward and was the leading scorer of the second season of the Campionato di Juvencus scoring 21 goals. Those goals can be used to the benefit of Carvi Albion as the small team hope to beat the drop in the opening season. The Mercedinian Premier League were the bid spenders with a multitude of transfers being brought in from abroad by every team. The Mercedinian Premier League is all set up for it's opening season which is set to start after the World Cup and Cup of Harmony has concluded.

MFA Cup: Second Qualifying Round Draw

---

With the best of the best battling it out in the World Cup, the season continues with the second qualifying round of the MFA Cup. Only four qualifiers make it through to the first round paroper and the opportunity to play the big boys. Sixteen teams are currently in the draw and they are two wins away from making it to the MFA Cup proper. The ties will be played during the World Cup Qualifying campaign to endure there is plenty of sport occurring throughout the country.

MFA Cup: Second Qualifying Round
Moorland & Tersham vs. Queen's Rose
Monmouth United vs. Ansav Town
Southern Rural Coalition AFC vs. Colwyn Park Avenue
Yushek Island vs. Portenshire FC
Polizia Nazionale vs. Union Metropolitano
Port of Zoloroni vs. FC Austerplatz
Maaston Athletic vs. Orga North End
OFR Ozzaya Agranka vs. Lena Brava

That's all after a jam-packed day in Mercedinian sport. We hope you will be back as we give you coverage of the remaining of Mercedini's matches for World Cup Qualification. From Zoloroni Sports City, goodnight!

[Schottia]

The Art of Sneaking

Part seven.

The Rev. Colin Moffatt

Claire Hanson stopped for a moment, before beginning the task of getting out of her car while eight months pregnant. It had been another busy morning, and in her current condition, probably a little too much. Ironically, going to her GP to get a signed letter clearing her to fly, had been the extra task that had pushed her over the edge. It had been a straightforward pregnancy so far, and for that she was grateful. Trying to juggle the multitude of roles in her life was difficult at the best of times, let alone when she had extra doctors appointments to make. She had spent most of yesterday trying to show her maternity replacement, Ian, the ropes at Harbour Hill Stadium. He had this irritatingly arrogant, straight out of University demeanour, and seemed more interested in showing off what he already knew, as opposed to learning from Claire. It was fine, she didn't care, it was only going to be for a couple of matches anyway. She was sure no one was going to fall apart in her absence, she was just a physic after all, but sometimes it would be nice to get a little more credit for what she did.

Claire opened the car door and pushed her way out, she was looking forward to a rest and a bite to eat, but she just had one more thing she needed to do.

Livingstone Kirk was an old, sixteenth century stone building, which had probably seen a lot of change over the years. When the church was built, this part of Handon was no doubt a series of fields and small holdings, but now it was a home to a sprawling housing estate, to which Livingstone Kirk had given its name. Claire had spent her entire childhood in Livingstone Crescent, her parents having moved there shortly after they got married. As a result she knew the area well. The little shop on the corner, which had been run until recently by Old Mrs Manck, still looked exactly the same. The same old A-frame outside the door currently heralded Schottia's draw in Ceni.

Claire walked past the sign and turned up the narrow gravel path towards the front door of the church. There was a small ascent of stone steps leading up to the heavy front door, upon reaching the top, she turned back to check that no one was watching. She wasn't doing anything wrong, but she didn't really want anyone to know why she was here. The problem with having such strong family ties to an area like this was the fact that your business was everyone's business. News spread like wildfire, and rumours could be half the was across the sea to Kirisaki, before the truth even had it's trousers on.

Claire looked in vain for a bell, and after failing to find one, was forced to thump hard on the door. As she waited for the sound of footsteps from within, she glanced up at the nest of CCTV cameras half way up the tower. A spate gravestone vandalisms had left the parish with little option other than to install the cameras - they were a deterrent if nothing else.

Eventfully the echoing of footsteps from within grew louder, and the door was slowly opened by smartly dressed young man in a clerical collar.

'Claire,' he said as he pulled the door wide. It was somewhere between a question and a statement. 'Come in, please.' He stood to one side and politely ushered her across the threshold.

'Morning Colin, I'm sorry to bother you at work, I saw the car parked outside.' She said as she stepped past him and into the foyer of the church. Already her nostrils will filled with the scent of musty books and wood polish, a smell she had always associated with this place. Claire always felt a prickle of guilt in the back of her mind as she walked past the church, having not been in attendance for close to thirty years. She sometimes wondered if the entrance to Livingstone Crescent’s placement - opposite the church - had been a cynical move designed to induce self-reproach.

'Oh, goodness. Not at all.' The Vicar waved away her apology. 'I'm sorry that I took so long to answer the door, I was up in the office, I don't normally use the main door during the week.'

'Oh... Of course.' Claire screwed up her face, realising that she'd not really thought this through. She had never actually considered what Vicars did when it wasn't Sunday. In wasn't like they wandered around the pews aimlessly waiting for some lost sole to come in. 'Yeah Colin, like I said, sorry to have taken you away from your work.' They were now walking down the main aisle approaching the alter, behind which she could only assume his office was. It was a modest building, but it was beautiful in its simplicity. Schottic Presbyterians weren't overly keen on large stain glass windows or effigies of saintly figures, and that had been something which had manifested itself in the nation's modern-day asceticism.

'And as I said, you don't need to apologise.' He placed a hand on her shoulder, and while she didn't quite shrug it off, there was enough there in her body language to tell him that she was uncomfortable. 'Okay, eh, it's just up here.'

Claire walked up the narrow steps to the pulpit and opened the door that sat just behind. She had hoped it wouldn't be awkward, seeing Colin Moffatt after all this time, but her inability to handle his physical gesture didn't bode well. She hadn't seen him in sixteen years, yet somehow their last meeting still hung think in the air.

They had both been eighteen and at the proverbial crossroads in their lives. He wanted to study religion, and she sports science; the problem was that made living in the same city impossible. They had only been together for a couple of months, but they were young, convinced they were in love, and it had felt like it was going to last. Promises had of course been made, regular phone calls, visits once a month, they would even write letters. However, Claire had learned that nothing in life ever ran that smoothly, and by the winter holidays, they had more or less lost all contact. By the time they finally got round to meeting up, what Colin had interpreted as a chance to give things another go, was the day that Claire had planned to end it. She had never felt so much guilt in her life as she did the day she watched him kneeling in the snow outside her house, sobbing his eyes out, as he begged her to give him one more chance. He had been nothing if not persistent, and he had kept it up for the best part of an hour, until her father had gone outside and told him to sling his hook.

'So...' Back in the here-and-now, Claire was determined not to dwell on the past. 'Nice little office space you've got...' Pretty dull conversation, but it was better than silence. It wasn't a lie though; the office was an interesting space. It was poky, but didn't feel cramped - and it was traditional without seeming stuffy. She liked the way that his laptop was sat open on a table that looked about two hundred years old, and the way his suede jacket was slung over a chair that looked more like a medieval throne. From what she could remember of Colin, Claire imagined he would be a good Vicar: modern, yet not out of touch with the older parishioners.

'Thanks,' He smiled, offering her the throne, while he grabbed a rickety looking wooden chair from the corner. 'There's not a lot you can do with a listed building, but hey, at least it's interesting.'

'Yeah.' Claire smiled as she sat down. The chair was a little firmer than she would have liked. She noticed Colin's eyes dart to her pregnant belly, but she pretended she hadn't seen. 'So how's things? Are your Mum and Dad well?' She actually struggled to remember Colin's parents, and she really hoped that the question didn't come across as disingenuous.

'Aye, yeah.' He smiled back, but looked almost longingly out of the window. 'Mum's the same as ever, and well, Dad too, I guess.' He rubbed the back of his head, clearly finding the whole situation a little awkward. 'My Dad had, well, you remember he was troubled with his knees..?'

'Yeah.' Claire lied, but managed a convincing face of concern.

'Well, yeah, he was in for an operation.' Colin took his glasses off and cleaned them on the bottom of his shirt. 'But he's fine: Still the same old Mr Moffatt.' Colin followed it up with a nervous laugh. 'And how about you? Your parents both well?'

Claire inhaled sharply; this was probably the chance she had been waiting for. 'Eh, no. Not really Colin. That's actually why I'm here.'

'Oh?' Colin put his glasses back on, and was suddenly into professional mode. He had clearly been so overwhelmed by seeing Claire at the door that he had instantly assumed it to be a social call. Now he was faced with the possibility that she could have been in need of his spiritual guidance.

'Yeah, erm, I'm not actually one hundred percent sure where to start.' Her expression was somewhere between a smile and a squint. 'About a month ago some kids - or rather one kid - broke into my parents' garden and completely ran it over. And I mean completely.' She needed to pause for a bit, such was the anger she still felt.

'I heard about that.' Colin said sympathetically, one of a Vicar's main jobs clearly being the offering of condolence. 'I was very sorry that it happened.'

'My parents are both very private people, and they don't want to go to the police, despite the fact that I've been trying to convince them.' Claire looked over at her ex boyfriend, trying to judge what he would say to the next part. 'The thing is I was wondering if I could ask you a favour?'

'Of course you can,' Colin replied. 'I'm here to serve this community in any way I can.'

'Okay, that's good.' Claire was just going to have to bite the bullet and ask. 'I was wondering then, do you store your CCTV footage, you know, from the cameras out the front?'

'Yes we do, yes.' Colin sat back in his chair, as he began to realise where she was headed. 'It's in a room up in the tower.'

'I know I'm overstepping the mark here Colin, so just tell me to get lost if you want. But is there any chance I could take a look at it, maybe see if it was someone I recognised.' She could see his expression was hardening, as if a "no" were on it's way. 'It's just that, given the direction my Dad said he saw the boy run, he would have almost definitely come out of the opening in front of the church.'

'Claire...' Colin's face was contorted. 'I think it's against Schottic law to let someone see CCTV footag...'

'Actually, no it's not.' Claire held a finger in the air. 'Sorry, but one of our players, Višnja Brankovič, is studying law and I called her on the way over here.' Despite her intervention, she could see that he clearly felt uncomfortable with it.

'What do you intend to do with the information?' Colin needed a change of tact, given the fact that she had called his bluff. 'I couldn't condone any sort of revenge Claire, the child probably comes from a disadvantaged background. He most likely needs our help, as opposed to a beating.'

'Doesn't the bible say an eye for an eye?' Claire tried hopefully.

'It also says not to damage your clothing.' Colin answered dryly.

'Well what about honour thy neighbour... or whatever it says along those lines? My parents have always been good neighbours to you.'

'Your Dad threw me into an icy puddle...' Colin replied, as Claire could only cringe at her mistake. 'Face first: while I was kneeling in the snow crying because the woman I loved had just dumped me...'

Claire had to hold her breath to prevent herself from laughing. 'I think he said he couldn't here the TV over your sobbing.' She answered eventually, as a giggle finally escaped.

'Yes. Indeed.' Colin answered. 'That was what he shouted, shortly before telling me to grow a pair and f-off.' Much to Claire's relief he allowed himself a smile too. 'Come on then,' the Vicar added at last - grudgingly. 'Lets go and have a look at that footage...'

[Abristan]

Abristan Express

NS World Cup 77: The Story So Far

by India Franks

Abristan have got off to a disastrous start to this World Cup cycle, winning just 1 of their first 6 matches in Group 13. Unless they can find some kind of form, they'll be going home very promptly, which would be a disappointing comedown after an excellent performance at the Baptism of Fire 64. Reportedly anger between teammates has led to a terrible sense of unity amongst the team, which could be blamed for their disappointing results.

The tournament started in the worst possible way, with a huge 4-0 loss to Schottia. The team failed to get any attacking momentum going, and what few chances they created were often quickly shut down by the Schottian defense and goalkeeper. These attacking woes continued in the next two games, failing to score until the end of the second game, a dream-crushing 2-1 loss to Nuevo Caracas, a game where Abristan failed to take chances, and showed a lack of unity at the back, a problem that has carried forward from the Baptism of Fire. A few moments of promise mostly came from striker LeMoyen Turka, who has been in fine form recently for his club, Magdalen 1977, who won the Abristani Super Cup last Sunday.

Abristan finally got going on matchday four, with a 2-0 victory over a weak Kinzenland side, and they could have put even more on the score sheet, if it wasn't for a superb performance from the man between the sticks for Kinzenland. On matchday five however they were brought back down to earth with a bang when the high ranked Ceni team brought their a game, winning 4 to zero. Matchday six ended up with a 5-2 victory for Kalumba, although manager Matthew Harris said he took the two goals as great encouragement considering the caliber of opposition they were up against.

At a press conference yesterday Matthew Harris outlined his 5 point plan for recovery, focusing on the key tenets of attacking movement, tempo, defensive unity, overlaps, and deep crosses to giant striker Ismel al Faucher. Harris claimed he still believed in his players, and going forward he believed they could still fight their way to a more respectable position in their group, even if qualification seems like a distant glimmer in the minds of Abristani fans.

The Express would like to publicly apologize for its lack of coverage of the last 6 matches, with reporters failing to reach the world cup when they forgot to renew their passports. Luckily the incredibly fast and efficient Abristani passport service's new e-passport renewal system worked perfectly to get the reporters passports within 6 days (excluding weekends, days when it rains, and days when they don't feel like working).

[Whovian Tardisia]

Whovians Slide Downhill; Sole Victory Tainted By Cheating Allegations

The past few days have not gone all that well for Whovian Tardisia. They currently stand at one win and five losses, ranking ninth in their group. Day 2 saw our lads defeated by Witty Penguins, which was a bit of a shock to some Whovian players. “I was not expecting to play against sapient penguins.” defender Duke MacWilliam commented. “And I wasn’t expecting to lose to them either.” The lone victory came on Day 3 against Drawkland, with Sappington and Moffett scoring. Drawkland coverage accused Whovian fans of manipulating the path of the ball with sonic devices, but the Post would like to assure foreign readers that these devices are not capable of which, and if they were, the WCC would have been notified and such devices would have been confiscated. Day 4 sparked somewhat of a controversy amongst the Order of the Blue Box, as some of Jeruselem’s coverage of the match featured the anchors engaged in what the Order deemed “overly sexualized portrayals” of the Doctor’s companions, along with allegations that the Whovian players were not actually Time Lords. This caused some public outcry against Jeruselem, with many demanding a boycott on further games against them. The team has decided not to heed these requests. Day 5 saw us beaten by Darmen by a spectacular margin of 7-3. Today, alas, saw another loss, this time at the hands of one of this cycle’s Baptism of Fire hosts, Bonesea. They beat the Whovian team 4-2 at home, and this, along with the rest of the string of losses have Whovian fans quite upset. Due to increased police presence, however, the rioting of 3 cycles past has not been repeated.

The Post would like to apologize for its lack of coverage over the past week. The expectation was made that coverage would be daily with the infamous tagline “Pick up the Post tomorrow…”. The writer of this section fell ill this week, and was unable to cover the World Cup. We apologize for any misleading.


Article provided by the Arcadia Post.

[Taeshan]

Game 6 is usually about the time teams start losing focus, especially if the season is not going their way. Often you see the best teams in a given qualifying tournament push through about this time and the weaker teams and those without the veteran push that is needed to get through the doldrums fall apart at the middle of the campaign. The fall apart is all to known in the history of the Taeshan Purple Knights attempts to qualify for the World Cup. Various times in the history of the purple side many teams have fallen by the wayside and the team currently wishes not to do that. On a matchday 8 where the leaders Chromatika dropped their first points of the season, and favorites to qualify Krytenia failed to beat Red Blackiland the Knights needed to keep pace and not lose any ground against a forlorn Serbian Empire side on the road.

Once again the Knights were in a must win road game against a seemingly weaker opponent and the contingent of fans who made the trip from Taeshan to the Serbian Empire were hopeful that the Knights could get some much needed points against the team barely off the foot of the table thanks to an even weaker looking side from EEC. The Knights came out for really only the second time time this season at full strength and they hoped to make it 3-3 with wins on the road. Lysander Ying Uing had been practicing a new pressing offense in the days prior and the back four had put more practice in on their offside trap looking to force the other team into more mistakes than the Purple Knights would. The Knights meanwhile would look to be calm on the ball and move it around to find the open player and keep the defenders away from the ball at all times.

The first half started very well for the home sides defense as twice Miles Snavely seemed in on goal but was caught in the offside trap of the Serbian Empire after putting the ball in the back of the net for what seemed like goals. Quickly though the Knights would find a third opportunity and Landon van Neymar would shoot just wide. It seemed quite likely that the Knights would be the first to score as they definitely were forcing the issue early in the game. Eventually it was van Neymar who lofted a ball in to Miles Snavely who first timed the ball into the upper 90 to give the Knights a 1-0 lead in the 31st minute after half an hour of great attacking play from the visiting side.

At the half the Knights came in seemingly assured of getting the full points but they had to see out the match and so Lysander Ying Uing made a move at the hour mark to bring in some speed in the attack, and some strength in the defense with Janson Jewsbury and Ford Cancun entering the game from Moki Nguyen and Everett Eskandarian. The Knights continued to force the issue and eventually Jewsbury was fouled just to the corner of the box near the sidelines and Enrique Fuegahita whipped in a cross that was met in the air by Jefferson Lafitte and the Taeshani center back scored his first ever goal for the national team.

The result was all but assured at this point and Ying Uing made an interesting move bringing in Alexander Kaiba for Anton Vader on the other side of midfield. Kaiba played almost exclusively as a fifth defender, as a wingback type deal, though hardly moved forward and eventually the final whistle blew giving the Knights a much needed 2-0 win. The win puts the Knights third by 2 points, and out of the lead by 5. As previously mentioned the Knights have Coldfield and Lymantatia ahead which most would expect the Knights to win on paper, but then again the Knights are notable chokers when it comes to must win games. And of course the final matchday before halfway pits the Knights on the road at leaders Chromatika which may be the most interesting matchup all year for the side.

[Pasarga]

Torgos Tribune ~ SuperLiga Surprise

A few weeks into the SuperLiga action, we would be remiss not to mention the new kits in the SuperLiga this year. While it is tradtion among the clubs to make "new" kits for every new season, usually these edits are merely a change in the sponsor or perhaps a bit of adjusting the shade in the trim.

Peynol-Lunas' new home (left) and away (right) kits.

However this season saw seventeen of the clubs unveil nearly completely new designs of their kits, while a few clubs also made slight alterations to their crests. The biggest change has to be that of Peynol-Lunas whose previous kit was admittedly quite a bit of a mess, the new kit has been streamlined somewhat with a wide yellow hoop on a forest green background, with black sleeves and collar, while a purple line snakes from the cuff to the chest.

CA Paulinthal's new home (left) and away (right) kits.

The away kit changes the hoop to the green while making the background black, while the sleeves and collar are now white, leaving the snaking purple line as a memento to their previous kit design where the purple featured more prominently.

On the other end of the spectrum however, you have clubs like Club Atletico de Paulinthal, or CA Paulinthal or CAP for short, and Baskita FC who have chosen to stay closer to their traditional outfits, though this is hardly surprising coming from two of the founding members of the SuperLiga. These clubs are stepped in tradition and two of the four most successful clubs in Pasarga, there is little reason to change up what has been working quite well for them for decades. That being said, CAP did decide to alter their crest slightly, moving from an oval to more of a shield, with black and red stripes and with white lettering in the foreground. The move has been mostly been received well from the Hurricane's supporters, though there are some of the traditionalists who are having a hard time accepting the change, believing that the former crest had nothing wrong with it. Club officials have said that the change was to provide a more modern look to their global audience, which is a fair assessment as CAP is one of the largest supported Pasargan clubs outside the dual islands.

As for the SuperLiga itself, it seems that Tani and CAP are both going to be looking to their already impressive trophy hauls, as they both have started off the season in good form as neither have lost a match as of yet. This has to be good news to for Wanderers' fans, as several members of the national pool play within each of the clubs' ranks and they will be hoping that the good form that they are having with their domestic sides can translate into good form with the national team. Thus far it has done so, with the Wanderers having only dropped points in a single match, a draw in their last outing against The Isles of Avon. It is a shocking result to be sure, however one does not simply assume that your side can nor should go perfect through a qualifying campaign, even if the Wanderers have done so once in the past. It is far better to have an unexpected hiccup now when the side has already established itself as the dominant team in the group than for it to creep up later or in a more pivotal match where qualification itself may be on the line. Never the less, if the Tani and CAP players keep performing at the levels they have been for their clubs, then the Wanderers' draw against Avon will be of no measurable consequence.

For a full link to all the SuperLiga kits, please visit http://www.SuperLiga/teams/kits.pas

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

Unified Sunrise Islands 6–5 The Holy Empire

IT'S....
THE WORLD CUP SHOW
With World Cup Hall of Fame Hosts: Basil & Theo

"Hi, I'm Basil..."

"And I'm Theo!"

"And welcome to this very exciting match of football as the Holy Empire take on... some random bunch of useless mundies."

"United Sunrise Islands, Basil."

"As I said, some random bunch of..."

"Who happen to be the best team in the multiverse and the defending World Cup champions."

"So.... not so useless, then."

"Well, we've won twice as many World Cups as they have, so it's perhaps a matter of perspective. But right now? No, they're definitely not useless. Especially when not playing at home in the Estádio Nacional Rei Mateus."

------------------------------------------------------------------
1st minute

"...the one about the two nuns, the donkey, and the plate of spaghetti..."

"Sorry to interrupt you there Basil, but just one minute into the game, Flanningan has brought down Silver just on the edge of the home side's penalty area."

"He just took that peg leg right out."

"He's surely lucky to escape with a yellow there, Basil. And it's Aslan to take the free kick; he looks assured, regal, almost as if a halo is shining from his magnificent mane. He steps up... GOAL! 1-0 to the Holy Empire!"

------------------------------------------------------------------
6th minute

"...which is why a carefully sculpted column of belly-button fluff will..."

"Sorry, Basil, but it's Chi-Chan on the wing."

"Man, that groovy cat sure can dribble."

"He's facing Rupert Bear, that stout-hearted Imperial defender... BUT WHAT'S THIS?"

"Bear seems to be cowering in fear, Theo, and shouting out 'THE HOUNDS, THE HOUNDS OF TINDALOS; THEIR FOULNESS ENVELOPS US ALL!'"

"And Chi-Chan has a clear run on goal, and Tigger can't stop it - 1-1, and this match is being played at a breathtaking pace."

"What did go wrong with Rupert there, Theo?"

------------------------------------------------------------------
16th minute

"And Hook's lucky the referee didn't see that, Basil."

"Some underhand - or should that be 'underhook' - play from the high-scoring Imperial forward; he's a sly one, alright."

"And it's a corner for the Holy Empire. THE BIG BAD WOLF!!!! YES!!!! HE TOWERS OVER THE HOME DEFENCE!!!!"

"Zezinho was nowhere, Theo, and the Big Bad certainly blew that home defence down."

------------------------------------------------------------------
18th minute

"Immediate reply for the home side, Basil, as Paddington Bear freezes, as if stunned by some foul, nameless eldritch horror beyond a Peruvian Bear's ken."

"Alcouin took full advantage, there; what was Paddington thinking?"

------------------------------------------------------------------
22nd minute
"Breathless stuff here, Basil, as Baggins seems to disappear from sight, gliding right through Flanningan and Hikari, and a superb pass leaving Silver with the tap-in."

"Extraordinary, Theo; absolutely extraordinary. Just 22 minutes in, and we've already seen five goals."

------------------------------------------------------------------
33rd minute

"Wonka collapses, howling in sudden fear, and shouting out 'the Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young is upon us!' and what sounds like 'flee you fools!'"

"And oh dear, Theo... He seems to be attempting to strangle Safadão; that is not a good look."

"The referee's blown his whistle... and penalty to the Islands. But it looks like the referee's being lenient, and isn't sending Wonka off."

"No, he's considering this a medical issue. The Oompa-Loompas are rushing on with a stretcher, and carrying the gibbering Wonka away as he screams of Shub-Niggurath whispering in the darkness. Tweedledee comes on as a sub."

"And in all the excitement, Alcouin steps up, and it's a straightforward penalty; her second, and 3-3 before we've even reached half time."

------------------------------------------------------------------
Half Time

"The referee blows his whistle; and surely the two teams can't keep this pace up, Basil?"

"I can't understand it, Theo; it's almost as if there are two Holy Empire teams out there, Theo. One lively, innocent, playing with verve and flair, almost as if they epitomise the carefree attitudes of childhood - the other paralysed by nameless rites and loathsome eldritch terrors that can turn any man - or bear, or lion, or halfling, or wolf, or tigger - mad."

"Quite; it's not so much a game of two halves, as a team with a split personality disorder, almost as if several separate realities were..."

"What did you just say, Theo?"

"Almost as if several separate realities were... My God; you don't think?"

"Could be, Theo."

"Not another reality bleed? I thought ISPI had those under control?"

"I don't know; this feels... different somehow; but it does somehow seem that several different realities might be in danger of bleeding into each other. Why, though, I couldn't say..."

------------------------------------------------------------------
52nd minute

"Potter sends in a deep cross, and OH MY!"

"I don't believe it, Theo - the ball bounces off Silver's parrot Captain Flint in mid-air, and bounces past a despairing Couch!"

"Flanningan is protesting furiously, Basil... but the referee lets it stand! He's ruling that Captain Flint is a standard obstacle, and that the ball was in play."

"Chiyo looks furious... But it's 4-3 to the Holy Empire"

------------------------------------------------------------------
68th minute

"The Big Bad Wolf with the ball - but he suddenly stops."

"Inexplicable, Theo - it's as if he's heard the thin monotonous piping of a demonic flute held in nameless paws!"

"Chi-Chan takes full advantage, feeds Alcouin; and it's 4-4! Tigger could do nothing!"

"And I just can't get a vision of the throne of Azathoth at the centre of ultimate Chaos; this is getting worrying, Theo."

------------------------------------------------------------------
89th minute

"SILVER SCORES!"

"Magnificent stuff from Tweedledum..."

"Tweedledee, I think, Basil."

"Er.. yes. Magnificent stuff either way; almost as if football were chess.

"There's some question about whether that's a hattrick for Silver; I suppose that depends on how you count the deflection off Captain Flint. That's perhaps one for the statisticians; but with time running out, the Holy Empire are leading the defending World Cup champions 5-4!"

------------------------------------------------------------------
90th minute +2

"Can the Empire hang on, Basil, as the Islanders throw everyone forward, and...."

"STRANGE UNEARTHLY COLOURS FROM SPACE ARE ERUPTING FROM THE GROUND WHEREVER A HOLY EMPIRE PLAYER IS STANDING!"

"I've never seen anything like it; well, except for that time uncle Nahum had that problem with his well..."

"The Imperial players seem paralysed by this horrific phenomenon, and Stabb seems almost embarrassed to score it past a Tigger who's just standing on the goalline, shivering in fear, turning a strange grey colour."

"Flanningan asks the referee how much time is left.... and straight from the kickoff just boots it upfield to the Imperial goal... and it dribbles over the goal line - and the final whistle blows!"

"Total chaos here as the Samba Kids celebrate, Theo, but at least have the decency to look embarrassed about the circumstances."

"And Tzimisces is running onto the field, and seems to be smashing a series of mysterious meteorites that have inexplicably appeared by each Imperial player, and as he does so, the unearthly colours dissipate, and the Imperial players return to normal."

"Everyone looks shellshocked by the turn of events here. And I understand that Tzimisces is refusing to comment to the Imperial media about the possibility of a reality bleed."

"So we're not the only people who noticed, Basil."

"Apparently not, Theo."

"Well, let's just consider how lucky the home team were today, Basil; if the bleeding reality is what we think it is..."

"Aye, Theo; it could have been a lot worse. Given what might have happened, I'll take the 6-5 loss."

"But let's hope Tzimisces and Di Bradini are on top of this one, and picked this team for a reason; I fear for the sanity of the multiverse if there's any chance the Great Old Ones are in any serious danger of pushing through the walls between realms...."

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Ndaku 0–2 Gregoryisgodistan

"Hello, and welcome to Lumumbaville Stadium in Ndaku, as we get set for the World Cup Qualifier between Gregoryisgodistan, and the hosts of Ndaku. We're just about set to get underway, so let's get to it. The Foot Slaves are in a tie for first place in their group so far, but trail Cosumar on tiebreakers. Still, with the toughest match out of the way already, the Foot Slaves are four points clear of a spot in the World Cup 77, and seem well on pace to qualify. Now, it's time for Foot Slaves Soccer!

...

"11th minute, and it's a goal kick for the Foot Slaves after Wekesa Fabron sent one over the bar. Prune Farmer 3818F to take, he lofts it upfield, and it's headed by History Teacher CZDE9745. He'll knock it upfield, and there's Soldier 0EDCK13DHI. He looks to send it upfield, but Duha heads it over the bar, that will be a corner for Gregoryisgodistan, their first of the match. Guy Who Cleans Up Behind The Elephant at the Circus P0120AZNNAU to take, it's swung out above the box, Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Xylocrap Notatypo tries the long range shot from near the top right corner of the box, TOP LEFT, GOOOOOOAAAAL GREGORYISGODISTAN! FOOT SLAVES LEAD 1-0! And Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Xylocrap Notatypon is celebrating by smashing about 30 different xylocarps (OOC: coconuts) that have been provided to him, while singing the WorldVision classic hit "Smash The Xylocarps" with his teammates. And the Gregoryisgodistani fans who made the trip are going nuts! "SMASH THE XYLOCARPS *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*" they chant. What a goal, what a strike, and Gregoryisgodistan has the early lead.

...

"20th minute, free kick for Ndaku about 35 yards out. Gosse to take, sends it up to Harden. She'll head it into the box looking for Fabron, but nobody's there, and Prune Farmer 3818F will kick it far, far away. Gregoryisgodistan looking to counter now, Prune Farmer 913881 dribbling up the right side, looking for Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Death to San Jose Guayabal, OH, THEY RAISE THE OFFSIDE FLAG! They were all alone, but Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Death to San Jose Guayabal couldn't stay behind the ball until it was kicked. Bonehead play by him, but let's look at a replay. Was he offside? No, he was behind the ball when it was kicked by about five feet. And Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Death to San Jose Guayabal is letting the official hear it, and out comes the yellow card for dissent. Now the Gregoryisgodistanis are chanting "DEATH TO THE REFS" and throwing rocks and prune juice and human solid waste and human liquid waste at the official who made the erroneous call. And here comes a brick, conks him square on the head, and he'll go down. He's bleeding and in pain, and it looks like the fourth official will have to take over for him. In the meantime, the Ndaku police are swarming to try to figure out who threw the brick, but the Gregoryisgodistanis aren't telling him. They never will. They can check the surveillance tape, but I suspect the glorious heroic fan who threw the brick at the ref is already being taken to safety. And yes, someone Gregoryisgodistani is being taken out of the arena by Gregoryisgodistani Military Security as they hand him a medal and put it around his neck. Obviously not arresting him, or they wouldn't give him a medal, just taking him to safety so the Ndaku Police can't arrest him.

...

"30th minute, and it's a free kick for Ndaku just outside the box. Here it comes, too high, over the bar. No, they say it was deflected by Prune Farmer 3818F. He leapt, but was nowhere near it, it was a foot over his head. More chants of "DEATH TO THE REFS!" Bags of human liquid waste, goat liquid waste, and prune juice being thrown onto the field by the Gregoryisgodistanis now, as are some glass prune juice bottles. The Gregoryisgodistanis are getting whipped up into a frenzy at this absolutely terrible officiating. Anyway, it's a corner for Ndaku, it comes into the box, Duha is there, oh but Enemy Crusher Fatty Footy will body-slam that infidel to the turf! So now it's cleared away and surprisingly no penalty called. Duha furious with the ref, but he'll wave that infidel off, Duha is an infidel. I mean, the ref is literally named Baddy Refereessi, so maybe this shouldn't be surprising. It's all right there in the title. Oh, what's this, Refereesi is calling Soldier 0EDCK13DHI over and showing him a yellow card! What did he even do? Let's look at a replay. Well, he's about five feet away from Manu, who slips on what I guess is the wet grass and falls to the ground. And then Refereesi thinks Soldier 0EDCK13DHI tripped Manu and gave him a yellow card. That's all I can think of. More chants of "DEATH TO THE REFS!" ring down from the Gregoryisgodistanis. But I mean, Baddy Refreesi isn't the one who raised the flag on the offsides, that was his assistant. You can't blame him for all of this.

...

"38th minute, Harden streaking down the pitch, she's all alone, only the keeper to beat, SHE SLIPS ON THE WET GRASS AND IT'S COVERED UP BY THE GOALIE! Oh no, oh no, not again! Baddy Refereesi is calling Prune Farmer 3818F over. He shows him the yellow card! And now it's a penalty, I guess? No, it's a goal kick. What the heck just happened? Is he giving Prune Farmer 3818F a card for something other than apparently fouling Harden with his mind? I don't know. But now Harden's looking for an explanation, and she'll get a yellow. Yellows for everyone, I guess. And now, even though we're only in the 40th minute, Baddy Refereesi blows the whistle for halftime. Stupid Farfadillis person. What a moron. Let's get Baddy Refereesi and give him a lesson in intelligence.

...

"56th minute, or 51st, I don't really know since we skipped five minutes at the end of the first half. It's a corner kick for Gregoryisgodistan, into the box, Enemy Crusher Fatty Footy heads it in, GOOOOAAAAL!!!!! No, Baddy Refereesi is saying he pushed off. There were no Ndaku players within ten feet of him. I don't know how he got so unmarked. But Baddy Refereesi is a moron, and called a foul on Enemy Crusher Fatty Footy. Sure, a body slam isn't a foul, but that, whatever that was, is? I don't really know what got into this Farf guy's head.

...

"67th minute, at least on the scoreboard. Another corner for the Foot Slaves. Guy Who Cleans Up Behind The Elephant at the Circus P0120AZNNAU to take, it's into the box, Morgan leaps for it and can't grab it, Prune Farmer HUXU88238ASF is there, heads it right into the wide open net. This one will count! And the Gregoryisgodistanis are celebrating by throwing prunes and prune juice at the opposing players and coaches and even at Baddy Refereesi. This is an atrociously officiated game and Baddy Refereesi should be ashamed of himself.

...

"80th minute, and, what's this? What just happened? Baddy Refereesi is going to call over Guy Who Cleans Up Behind The Elephant at the Circus P0120AZNNAU and Oshea Madeira. And now he shoes Guy Who Cleans Up Behind The Elephant at the Circus P0120AZNNAU a red card, and Madeira one too. What did they even do? Let's listen in to the microphone and see."

"What did we even do?" Guy Who Cleans Up Behind The Elephant at the Circus P0120AZNNAU asks.

"You clearly got into a punching match with each other."

"No we didn't. What are you talking about?"

"I saw you get into a punching wrestling match on the ground."

"That never happened!" they both say in unison.

"Get off now or you'll forfeit!"

"We'll both forfeit?"

"Just get off!"

"And they're walking off the field in shock, and the fans of both teams are chanting "DEATH TO THE REFS!" and throwing objects at the officials, especially Baddy Refereesi. What a sight to see. When both teams and fan bases think you're terrible, you are.

...

"And we're three minutes into stoppage time, and there's the final whistle, mercifully bringing this game to a conclusion. Baddy Refreesi races off the field with his assistants before he can be lynched. That's all for now, Foot Slaves win 2-01"

[Bonesea]

.

[Red Blackiland]

Red Blackiland Sports and Off-topic Chronicles

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Flesh-and-Blood

Players entrance at Red Glorious

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Author : Mathias Gërdorffen

He was a woman of closing trade.
Long blond hair, blond eyebrows, breasts whose voluptuous shapes the yellow blouse let her guess, tight pants, well fit ones, a perfection alone.
The bank teller was keeping an eye on her for about 15 minutes.
And he counted the seconds to serve her.
Finally, she stood in front of him, eye to eye, that fleshy mouth less than ten inches from her stunned mouth.
"No," she nearly stammered with such emotion, her heart leaping wildly.
"Can you deposit that check?" Go get the bill today? He asked, in a childlike voice, thin, without intonation, and no grace.
"Fall, yes," answered the attendant, relieved to see that his goddess was but one more woman.
And before calling the next client, he saw that the wall clock was 11:15 PM and he had a long day ahead of him....

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Krytenia 1-2 Red Blackiland

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Red Blackiland needed a lot of finals to dump goalkeeper Williams in the deciding game last night, however, beating Krytenia away from home 2-1, a great result. The visitors have made a great second half and have only one defeat so far. Red Blackiland's team returns to the field tomorrow, against HUElavia, a team that has been surprising and fighting for the first positions until then.
Krytenia pushed hard at the start of the game, however, succumbed in the final stage with errors of defender Albarn. Williams did what he could to save the team from a loss, especially in the early 45 minutes. The match was completely open.
Red Blackiland needed five minutes to reach the goal defended by Williams. Carmona tabled with Bazsta, inside the area, and finalized with force. Krytenia's goalkeeper did everything he could to save the score. Despite the bad start of the championship, the host team responded shortly. Verdano advanced through the middle, and no one from Red Blackiland fought and Krytenian fired from the edge of the area. The ball touched the beam and left.
Krytenia remained in the attack and, two minutes later, Valrauncion tried to finish, after Ortega's assist, however, sent the ball over the goal. Red Blackiland gave the change to the 15, in a beautiful shot of Schwartz, that almost surprised Williams. In fact, the goalkeeper of the main team made crucial defenses even with the defeat having incredible performance in the first stage. In the sequence, he defended a volley of Carmona. At 22, Williams stopped Carmona again, who risked the finish from outside the area after dribbling Johansson and Allen.
Hargreaves appeared at age 28, when he did not let Ortega open the count in Krytenia. The goalkeeper of Red Blackiland, however, just watching Escobar play head first, at 33, and swing the hammocks. The play of the goal was started with Ortega, who received from Mooney leaving Peri behind and crossed in the measure to the clubmate.
Williams continued with his job of braking the red and black team. He defended two Schwartz finals: a header after Bazsta's cross at 35, and face-to-face inside the area at 37. Two minutes later, Shacker made a good move near the small area, left Fournier on the ground but It took a long time to finish - Allen managed to send in corner.
Krytenia also responded, forcing Hargreaves to make good defenses, as in the 39th minute, on a long-range shot by Sammels, who made the goalkeeper stretch to extend the ball. With 42 minutes played, Ortega's fine free kick went just over the bar.
In the second half, the visiting team came back pressing the opponent. Carmona, just two minutes into the second half, ran towards the Krytenia area, however, kicked too weak. After 5 minutes, Beckenstander received a free kick inside the area and finished volley. Williams operated another miracle and defended with his leg. The first big chance for Krytenia in the final stage came in the 14th minute when the team made a good play with Sammels and Ortega. Sammels on the edge of the area, he finished to the left of the goal.
Without scoring, Red Blackiland nearly equalized the ball to the edge of the box. After cornering, Marckeiller crossed and Rodristander headed from the small area, to the right of the target. Red Blackiland equalized at 27. Eberhard, who entered Shacker's place, started the play, but lost the ball. Johansson got away badly and Beckenstander, out of the area, left Williams without reaction.
The Krytenia defender started the second half in place of Fournier and participated directly, also, the goal of the opponent's turn. Albarn split with Schwartz, lost in the rush to the striker and pulled the Red Blackiland player inside the area. At the penalty, Schwartz kicked in one corner, Williams jumped to the other and the visiting team scored the second goal, which gave a further three points to the Group A runner-up.

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The Justified Means - Storyline and Guide

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The Justified Means - Be a little warrior fighting against a titan!

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Mission 8 - Blackmail and Politics (Mission for Aljaysh Dakersh Almawy)

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Himil el-Emami asks you to get information from the nearby Dakersh Al'iilhiat hil Facility (Dakersh Divine Hill), that she'll need, in order to blackmail the Dakersh Wiladat Jadida. The place is located in one of the most big hills in the country. Is a radar facility which is a heavily armed military compound. It's a computer intelligence hub, heavy radar compound, and center of communications. It houses most of the government's intel and is very important to the Dakersh Armed Forces, so it's heavily protected and can only be reached by a restricted road, as well as many review points.
Shujaa el-Karim's nephew is on trial for murder and no witnesses were left. His mansion is used as one of the Dakersh Wiladat Jadida's headquarters. Naturally Taamir wants that nephew to lead him to Shujaa el-Karim, so the Dakersh Alwatani Shurta (Dakersh National Police) hires a fake witness to win the trial and arrest Shujaa's nephew. The Dakersh Wiladat Jadida want you to kidnap the witness. You'll have with a SMG and a motorcycle. The road to the southeast is a switchback heading up the mountain through two checkpoints.
You could try to ride the provided motorcycle and fight your way through the Dakersh Army. You could hijack a VV-20 armored car, from the first roadblock. Or you could sneak up via the grappling hook and use the parachute directly to the base. Two guard towers flank the entrance, each with a sniper. Two more guards pop out, once you engage the snipers. Resistance is pretty light and there are lots of radar dishes, towers, arrays and other equipment to blow up. There are also lots of parts strewn about, so be sure to grab those too.

Blackmail and Politics - The DK-30 jeep

Get up to the door control panel on the rear side of the building, but it turns out that it's locked - You must now find the officer who has the key to open it. Go exploring and Himil eventually send the officers location to your personal digital assistant and pick up his keycard. Return to the door panel and activate it. As the door opens, be prepared for the automatic gun behind the door to open fire. Take care of it and take the contents of the first aid kit. Grab what's in the weapon boxes, then download the witness's location.
Himil will inform you that he's sending a helicopter. Go outside and use the first aid package while you wait. Use the grappling hook to the helicopter and let it take you to the target. The target is being transported in a small convoy. Getting to the witness can be quite difficult, as hanging from the helicopter provides no protection from incoming fire. It's safer and more action packed, to use the hook to the convoy cars and kill the soldiers in the non-target car at close range. The convoy consists of three DK-30, a military off-road jeep, and the witness is in the front car. Use the grappling hook your way to the top of the first car and hijack it. You could also use the grappling hook to the other cars first, to blow them up with explosives.
You will definitely have to get off the helicopter before you get close to the target, because you'd otherwise get shot to death. Also, the helicopter will crash into a bell tower at a village and explode. When you have control of the target car, don't use any roads, or the chasing Dakersh Alwatani Shurta will destroy your vehicle long before you get to the drop off point. You could get out and find a new vehicle, as the witness will follow you into any vehicle, but the DK-30 can easily drive to the drop off point in a straight line across the desert. As a military off-road car, that's what it was designed for. Before arriving, Himil will inform you of the back-up she sent, in case you are being followed by the military.

---

Mission 9 - The trap of seduction (Mission for Aljaysh Dakersh Almawy)

---

One of the Aljaysh seductive informants, the wife of one of the Aljaysh's captains, has been discovered by a Dakersh General, who goes by the name Humaid al-Fares. The mission starts after activating the marker. Your objective is to steal a limo and use it to drive the Aljaysh undercover agent, ''Lady Leonora'' to a safe drop off point. Himil will often call Leonora a 'slut' and 'prostitute' throughout the mission dialogue. You're told that Leonora refuses to enter any vehicle other than the pink DI-120 continental, a limo. Reaching at her is easy and she'll enter the limousine.
If you drive the limo and are forced to abandon it, Leonora will exit with you and enter the same vehicle as you instead. However, on the road that leads to the rendezvous point, you'll encounter the Dakersh Army, at a roadblock and it's worse, General Humaid al-Fares is also there. Specially that he's armed with a rocket launcher. Maneuver around the rocket (which is not difficult) and you'll encounter no further problems. Killing Humad makes no difference. However, if you do decide to kill him, the easiest way to kill him is to run him over, then you will not have to get out of the car. Reach the destination and she'll exit, at which point the mission ends.

---

Mission 10 - Stabbed from the back (Mission for Dakersh Wiladat Jadida)

---

Federico gets this mission from a phone booth on the far side of the Dakersh Airport. Now you'll start to know the missions for the Dakersh Wiladat Jadida, Aljaysh's rival, not surprisingly, Shujaa el-Karim believes that disloyalty is a disease for which death is the only cure. You need to cure someone who has betrayed the Wiladat Jadida. When the mission starts, pick the contents of the weapon and ammo crate and turn around, you also get a standard issue, a pickup truck. Hop in it and head straight down the runway ahead and just to the right of the target.

Stabbed from the Back - Using the OP-15

You don't get far before Shujaa warns you that the traitor has found himself a helicopter and is taking off. Floor it towards the point where he takes off from and get out of the truck once near the helipad. Use the grappling hook onto the helicopter and hijack it after reaching a reasonable altitude. The traitor will fall out and die upon hitting the ground. If you have trouble doing this, get the NJ Hawk-200, a two door front engine sports car, from the airport entrance and drive it to the mission start before the mission.
If you choose to chase him with the OP-15, a light attack helicopter, then be really quick about it. If the traitor makes it into Alhaiat, the Dakersh's capital, the mission fails. Unless you brought the OP-15 with you to the mission start, which is highly recommended.

---

Mission 11 - (Mission for Dakersh Wiladat Jadida)

---

It's a short and easy mission to retrieve information for Shujaa and the Wiladat Jadida. Even so, this mission is a "stage completion", a type of faction mission that gives a bigger reward, and during these missions, the in-game clock is usually locked on a specific time. Go to the Dakersh Airport and contact Shujaa el-Karim from the phone booth to start this mission.
He's a little annoyed that someone called Huge Elephant, a hacker in his employ, has decided to turn evidence over to the authorities in exchange for a flight out of Dakersh to San José Guayabal or one of the Sunrise Islands. You must retrieve the Wiladat Jadida codes and passwords before Huge Elephant can flee the country. Take the messy but direct route through the main entrance and the government troops, or instead go left around the hangar to the end of the runway and hop up right next to the hangar, where the pilot is. He's got company, so you'll have to take the lot out, then grab the data.
There is also a less direct way to get in: go round the left side of the building, use the grappling hook on top of the pilot's hanger and drop down from there to avoid a shoot out and subsequently lose ammunition. Shujaa gets the information and then tells you Huge Elephant is already on board the plane, waiting on the runway, hijack. It's faster to grab the nearby DK-30 in the hangar.
The Shiper J-1 (a private jet) is waiting in is across the arrival terminal on another runway. If you hoof it, it will be easier to deal with the pair of soldiers armed with rocket launchers right next to the Shiper. Once they're taken care of, hop onto, then into, the plane and take off. Or just get in. When Huge Elephant realizes that you are working with the Wiladat Jadida, he panics and offers the information you seek, in exchange for being released. When Shujaa receives the data, your mission objective is complete and he tells you to do with Huge Elephant as you wish. You can land him back at the airport or kill him by getting out of the plane and letting him fall to his demise. Either way, you never actually see Huge Elephant, as he doesn't exit the plane.

[Brenecia]

Yes, it was official now. Brenecia were in crisis.
Aelfwynn Bannion knew it - what was more, she knew she'd be blamed for it. She'd run gamely around the business end of the pitch for a while, feeding on scraps. And hadn't scored. Nobody had scored. She was going to be held up, yet again, as proof of the lack of depth within the Brenecian side - and the A-League, for that matter. But she couldn't help but feel this wasn't exactly her fault.
She did her best, but wherever she went, Winchester and MacE... the other one anticipated, and all for a pass that never came. The shots were coming from increasingly distant as the game went on and that, Bannion knew, was the sign of desperation.
And, irritatingly, it turned out that Jennifer O'Byrne between the posts was quite good at football.
It was almost a mercy to be dragged off the pitch in the 70th minute with a tiring Ursula Rankin thrown on in her stead. But that didn't make a difference either. In fact, they really should've lost - a ball lumped over the top by Dunlop to the fresh legs of substitute Dwynwen Sherwood, who scooped the ball past Duguid, ran by Scrivener and marginally overcooked her first touch. Woodgate was there. Bailing them out as always.
The final whistle blew not long afterwards. A truly forgettable game, but a very damaging one for Brenecia's World Cup hopes.

But Bannion was wrong about one thing - the headlines weren't about her.
Well, alright, some of them were. 'Underpowered Patriots Hapless To Score', 'Patriots Set For A Fall', 'Aelfwynn Bannion is Crap at Football'.
But not the Rozelle Observer. The national newspaper, the only one with true reach north and south, an almost uncontested broadsheet. No time for complaints about the national team - or of Bannion - in there.
Because it were occupied, front and back, in every place, by a rather more pressing matter.

THE ROZELLE OBSERVER
EXCLUSIVE: A-League match-fixing epidemic rears its ugly head in recent Union title victory
Jacqui Broughan, Gareth Horner, Laura Mulholland and Tara Ousted

Fuck.

[Tinhampton]

Tinhampton City FC - Manager's Office: 8:12am, 11th February 2017

• Press Secretary Suzanne Hammond: I've done with my report. Ethane 1, Tinhampton 0. Other than the fact we held out for 75 minutes, can't say I'm surprised at this.
• First-Team Manager Clive Turnwood: Regrettably so. I've had a scroll through on your newspaper website of choice and it turns out that Ethane's won all their games so far and haven't conceded a single goal. To them, I say well fucking done.
• Suzanne Hammond: Still, it does look like a worrying thought to us - the best of the worst, as it is. Apparently, we only need to win 3-0 against Damukuni to leapfrog them in the table, but I doubt that three will be enough. Who's going to push them?
• Clive Turnwood: This is Tinhampton! We have the world's 1,500th highest retail industry, and its 500th biggest basket weaving industry! Maybe that's why the Gregoryisgodistani journalist wrote of these Tins Full Of Fun. But regardless, I suspect that they're going to push themselves to win.
• Suzanne Hammond: That's good to hear. Goodbye...

---

ETHANE 1-0 TINHAMPTON: RED KITES CONTINUE THEIR WINNING STREAK

Ethane narrowly squeak past Tinhampton with Boivin penalty, despite various scares from underdogs
Ethane 1 (Boivin 77' pen.) -- Tinhampton 0 (Daniels RED CARD 76')

[Chromatika]

Lineup at HUElavia: Nier; Ilya (Morningstar '70) - Stef - Aart - Damjana (Ellen '81); Etienne (Montague '51) - Lucas; Rien - Sybill - Dragana; Andisori (C);

"They seem to be taking the result well, Sil. Jillian had fire in her eyes, Keira was noticeably upset, and it was Alyss that led the team in the powow afterwards. She's really come a long way, like you thought she would. We're going to have a hard decision to make when Meagan returns," Didier Jacques said to Silian Parker, after they had dismissed the team after the post-game meeting following the HUElavia match, which the team had tied. It had been the first two points dropped in his first campaign as Chromatik manager, and it was his first chance to see how the team would fare after an unfavorable result.

It hadn't been a horrible match by any means. In fact, the team should've hung on for the win, if it wasn't for the last minute call against Keira that gave Cristiano Figo a penalty that Jillian failed to punch away. Besides that and a brilliant shot from Xabi Torres early, it was an absolute choke from the Chromatik team. Alyss continued her awesome performance with an assist and a goal, and Trenn continued his stellar play as well.

"Very well," said Silian wryly, "We'll see how they do the next game. I think I won't field a full reserve squad against Lanzo, although they are a rather weak squad. We need a pick-me-up after the fiasco against HUElavia, and I need to see that they recover before we play Taeshan in the ninth matchday. What are your thoughts on whom I should start in goal?"

"I think you should get Jillian back in there. She seemed pretty ticked off at the call. That Torres shot was a worthy one, not really her fault. Should give her one to recompose herself. Then maybe give the Taeshan match to Nikolai," said Didier, "Honestly, I think the draw could get the team to play even better. They were getting a bit complacent. I saw some disagreements in the locker room today, but they were well-founded ones that were trying to find the solution instead of just finger-pointing."

"Let us see how they respond. I'll start Jillian in goal, with Erika, Lucjusz, Luuk, Zlastica, Carrol, Alyss, Trenn, Gabriella, and Keira. I'll give Rachel a break - she's been having a sore ankle - and start Sandra. Should be able to sub out a lot of players and maybe even start some reserves against The Serbian Empire before the game against Taeshan. We're still in control, Didier. Make sure the team sees that," Silian added.

"Got it, Boss. It's not like we lost - it's just a draw, and they're a top 100 team. We've still got a three point lead, and we're in good form. We'll be fine," Didier stated.

Lineup vs. Lanzo: Nier; Morningstar - Stef - Aart - Ellen; Montague - Liam; Rien - Sybill - Antonio (C); Andisori;

---

Disclaimer: I am writing this with Northern Sunrise Islands's blessing. All credits of the PokéCards and whatnot go to him.

After leaving Chrom, Yeso was almost blindsided eventually by the arrival of an Aerodactyl. After tending to its wing wound, she read the note that it brought, before replying:

Correspondence #34
Dear Wight,

It is so good to hear back from you. I had no doubt in my mind that you would be able to find the Temple of Bùa. I hope you find your way in there, and that you're able to figure out his connections with the rest of the Pokémon world like you wanted. I had to heal your Aerodactyl back to full health - it seemed like he ran into a rather harsh hailstorm and sprained one of his wings. I apologize if I fed him a bit too much - you know how I am with Pokémon, and you worry a bit too much about their health.

My search for Necrozma continues to be rather slow. The Yveltal that is working with me seems to have a general sense for its location, but the closer we get to any solid clues about it, the more dangerous it becomes, and the more that it seems to allude me. I am still determined to find it, though, and to convince it to be less violent and be more benevolent. If Yveltal and my Pokémon can't persuade him, I'm not sure if anyone can. I'm sticking to the rural roads and to the forest itself, and have been going to hospitals anytime I need blood; with the card that I gained from Cassadaigua back in the day, they're more willing to negotiate, and I share a lot of my information I gather in my adventures in exchange as payment. Or I throw around names like Valanora and Nephara and Audioslavia, and people kind of get awed into cooperating with me.

I remember that you told me to never be shy about who I am... And I'm trying to live that. I just don't like to scare people, so I don't appear in public very often still. That being, I might have to step back into the spotlight soon because of a certain person that I randomly found yesterday. You remember the stories about Chrom the madperson who was cursed to be an always sex-changing demon, right? Well, apparently, he's been cleansed. I found him yesterday, being attacked by the ones that serve the One, that cult that I've told you about. The cultists said something about an Eevolved one that can stop them, though, so I suggested that Chrom stick to Sunrise - the one that's won the last two World Championships.

He seems to be walking in my footsteps - trying to show that Dark and Evil doesn't necessarily go hand in hand. With a friend like Sunrise, he should grow up to be a fine trainer. I also gave him that egg I've been writing to you about - the one of an Azurill. He should learn a lot about friendship and caring about different kinds of Pokémon from caring for an Azurill and hopefully growing it to be a Marill to an Azumarill. I still remember when I got my Eevee, how bewildered I was... Hopefully he does a better job with that Azurill than I did with my Eevee early.

I did tell Chrom to stand up for himself and to continue to live a different life - which kind of unveiled my powers. Having superhuman hearing and the ability to hide very well in the dark kind of scares people; I hope they don't check to their shadows very often around their house. It might be considered a bit creepy but I like keeping an eye on the Sunrise house. He is the future of the tournament for now, and also the new kid in town; the way he deals with Chrom and little Qasden is nice and very respectful. Kitsunia seems to be coming around as well.

I told him to ask Nephara, Valanora, and Audioslavia about me. I reckon the three of them will be able to tell him about my antics. Maybe Sunrise will even remember the advice that I told him earlier. He seems to have been taken it to heart, which is encouraging. He doesn't have any idea what he is capable of. Well, he might be getting an idea, but you and I know about the cosmic balance of good and evil, and just how important it is for people like Chrom to have a person in their life like Sunrise. Kind of how PIS was to me, and how Cass helped me out. Of course, you followed, and I've been on this journey since.

I'm going to keep looking into this cult, and take my eyes off of Sunrise for a while. Now that he knows danger is near, he should be able to stay more alert. I hope they take my words seriously. The cult seems to be preoccupied with treating Pokémon as demons - like a human extremist cult or something. This is something that I can't see occur - Pokémon deserve to share this world with us, and they are some of my best friends.

Tell the rest of your crew hi for me. Has your Misdreavus evolved yet? Send me a picture of your Mismagius when it happens - I haven't seen one yet, and I would very much like to.

Take care,

Love,

Yesopalitha

Yeso rolled up the scroll, and tied it with a black ribbon that she carried around massive quantities of. She put it into the waterproof canister that Aerodactyl had carried and tied it to his left back leg.

"Now, you avoid any major hailstorms on your way back, all right? she said to the Aerodactyl in an admonishing tone, "And tell Wight to not get turned into a Dusclops or something ridiculous like that. And tell him that even if Bùa doesn't have anything to do with Pokémon, he is free to believe what he wants to, all right?"

Aerodactyl nodded. Wight had a rather peculiar affinity to his Pokémon that he would be able to get all that from communicating with them. Aerodactyl brushed noses with Yeso's Yveltal, whom he was good friends with, before turning around.

The Aerodactyl took off from the ground, and started to fly off to the East. Yeso stood and watched it disappear into the sunset.

Then, she turned around, returned Yveltal to the Pokéball, and vanished into the forest.

It was time to find that cult.

[Audioslavia]

"I can't believe you'd put your own name to this heap of gonad poo" said Rubio, shaking his head in disbelief at his smartphone.
Jeremy got as far as saying most of the syllables of "Testicles don't defecate" before Rubio continued, aghast.
"Five things? Why five? More to the point, why does everything have to be a list nowadays? It's a video of you talking about Audioslavia's wins so far in qualifying. They've had five wins. Why not call it 'Audioslavia's five wins' or something along those lines?"
"Oh, no no no no no" said Jeremy. "People don't like that. If I had a video of me talking about five wins, and called it 'Jeremy Jaffacake on: Audioslavia's five wins' it'd get half the views."
"And that's a problem too" said Rubio, frowning. "It's just a video of you talking and occasionally taking sips of whisky"
"That's tea"
"Jeremy that is NOT tea"
"It's tea, I just put it in that whisky bottle as... y'know... an image thing"
"A what?"
"Well, it's me, innit, Jeremy Jaffacake" said Jeremy Jaffacake, leaning back on the sofa as he said it, pointing his thumbs inwards and doing a ridiculous little 'pew pew pew' movement with his index fingers at the same time, like he was shooting three holes into the ceiling. "Hard drinking, hard writing..."
"Hard headed"
"Hard smoking, hard... err.. erm.. oh, oh hard...
"Please don't finish that thought, Jeremy"
"I need that bottle of whisky to maintain the image of.."
"Jeremy, stop doing that"
"Doing what?" asked Jeremy, palms raised.
"That. That... thing with your hand. Like you're drawing an imaginary line across your chest with a really small bit of chalk"
"I'm not doing that"
"You're doing it every time you say the word 'image'"
"I'm not at all. But it's important, so it is, to have the image that..."
"YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN"
"..to have the image of the good old reliable old iconic Jeremy Jaffacake. People don't want to watch me sit and talk, they want to watch me drink and pontificate."
"So it is whisky, then?"
"No, it's tea"
"But why..." Rubio frowned and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, screwing his eyes shut for a second. "But why not just drink whisky"
"Professionalism"
"Jeremy you've been drunk on TV more times than a can of Coca Cola"
"This isn't TV"
"...Jeremy what has that got to do with... Look. God damnit Jeremy stop changing the subject. The thing I want to say is this: You are *not* drinking tea from that bottle"
"Of course I am. Professionalism. Image."
"Okay, now you're waggling your index finger like you're admonishing a stepchild every time you say the word 'professionalism', and you're still doing that chalk-line action when you say 'image'"
"That's also to do with the" ...Jeremy drew an imaginary line across his chest again... "...image"
"Okay. Listen" said Rubio, leaning forward, "I know you're not drinking tea from that bottle. At the fifteen second mark in that video you are clearly opening a previously sealed bottle of O'Bannon whisky"
"Yeah but it's tea in it"
"Tea? INSIDE a bottle of whisky that has NEVER BEEN OPENED before?"
"Yes. Wait. Oh."
"Why lie? Why lie to me? I've been your friend for... for how long? I know you drink and work at the same time, and always have but for the sober years. Why would you...
"Profess..."
*Finger waggle*
"No. Just no. Right. Okay. Back to the video. As I was saying. This is a video of you, Jeremy, sitting and talking. Drinking and pontificating. Whatever. So why, Jeremy, does the picture of the video look like a clip from a football match?"
"People don't..."
"No, wait, I just realised" said Rubio
"What?" asked Jeremy
"I don't care. Why is number three special?" said Rubio, ignoring Jeremy's frowny face.
"What do you mean?"
"'Number three will shock you'. Will it? How? It's just you talking about the third of Audioslavia's wins. I mean, there's the bit where you talk about how The Great Pi was named after a bakers who once made an above-standard meat and potato pie, which is shocking only in how you seemingly believe that for one second"
"That's actually true"
"And why is there a red ring and an arrow on the picture? You don't even mention that part of the game at all. In fact... this... this is a clip from an Aurora game in Sunrisia..."
"It gets people talking"
"Putting rings on pictures of bad football matches gets people talking?"
"You put a ring on anything and it gets people talking. Girlfriends, volcanos, planets..."
"I don't think I care for any of your responses, Jeremy" said Rubio, sighing again and putting down his phone, making sure to hit 'pause' so he wouldn't have to deal with two instances of Jeremy Jaffacake's voice at the same time. "And why haven't you even mentioned the Osarius game?"
"Never happened"
"I think I preferred you when you were a tabloid hack"
"You take that back!" said Jeremy, sitting up, "I am still a tabloid hack. Just.. one without a newspaper to hack for"
"Oh, and whose fault is that?"
"Oh, fault, schmalt, I'll get back in the game soon enough. Nobody can keep Jeremy Jaffacake away from a typewriter"
"Or YouTube, unfortunately"
"Or twitter now"
"Oh god, don't tell me you've"
"Another time, Rubio, I'll show you aaaalll the tweets I've done"
"Oh, god.."

[Eura]

Ascertaining the upper hand in conflicts is always more difficult when you are fighting to different standards of legality and basic humanity. Sameba had so far demonstrated that it had no boundaries anymore. General Gartanzo and his junta had not only launched an unprovoked attack, they had done so with nuclear weapons against an almost purely civilian target. Now they had crippled a Euran nuclear power station and created a nuclear danger in their largest port, alongside the Pooltree bomb and the "Border Bomb", creating a quadruple cleanup problem for the Euran authorities with potentially millions more lives at stake. Everyone knew that when it came to Euran nuclear deterrence, Sameba was a special case; its proximity made Mutually Assured Destruction impossible, and its small nuclear arsenal also made it unnecessary. However, a precedent was in danger of being set. It had been nearly a month and the conventional military situation was difficult, yet Eura had not demonstrated that a nuclear attack would be met with a response in kind. Voices in the corridors of power in Bastion were getting nervous. How would despotic regimes like so-called Gregoryisgodistan, or even more sane enemies like Sargossa, take Eura's nuclear umbrella seriously? At the very top, Prime Minister Judge had refused to escalate to this level so far because he believed it important that Eura conduct the cleanest war possible. But as time wore on and the bodies piled up, he had been presented with the stark reality that the bomb might be a necessary evil. For the military reason of delivering a crippling show of force to certain Sameban targets, the economic reason of causing major disruption to Sameba's industrial capacity and emergency services, and above all the political reason of proving Eura's determination to win at all costs, something had to be done.

When Judge was shown pictures of summary executions of Euran civilians in the few northern towns and villages captured by the Sambeban Army, he gathered together his cabinet to make the critical call. 'I'm sure all of you realise that this is not the course we wanted to pursue. This country does not seek to persecute war against civilians, or encourage the use of nuclear weapons.' A murmur of agreement swept through the chamber. 'Nevertheless, this is a unique and pressing situation we find ourselves embroiled in. General Danforth of the EAF, please outline the plan we have put together.' An ageing military figure turned off the lights, putting up some slides of a series of potential targets. 'Ourselves and our colleagues in military intelligence have identified a series of critical targets that could be disabled or destroyed by tactical nuclear strikes. The most critical is their nuclear production facility in the borderland mountains, near where we meet the Szavodan border. As you all were recently made aware this is where the Sameban military successfully developed their fission bombs. We are not sure how many they have left, or where they are if they do exist. But we do know that they will have to use this facility to produce more, and our latest intelligence collected by drones and scouts suggests they are trying to move equipment from the place to a more northern location. Although the facility is buried deep into the mountain, we believe it can be destroyed by a precise nuclear strike.' A few hands shot up. 'Yes?'
'What yield are we talking?'
'Medium yield, tactical. Delivered by EAF aircraft, most likely Blackjacks. We have already sounded out an attack route. Anti-aircraft defences are surprisingly light.'
'Will this cause tension with Szavoda?'
'No, they're on board.' There were no more questions, so the PM intervened. 'Before we discuss other targets, in principle, does the cabinet agree that this should be our primary target? A show of hands please.' The vote passed easily.

Subsequently, a number of distinct targets were discussed. The famous port at Aspel and also the Aspel Dellaro, crucible of Sameban football and cultural icon, were controversial. It was felt that an attack on Aspel had too much risk of massive civilian loss of life with little military effect due to the absence of most of the Sameban fleet. Attacking the Dellaro so overtly may also have bad optics, argued the propaganda experts. Attention shifted to Sameba's handful of nuclear power stations before being thrown out due to the potential fallout, both literal and metaphorical. The Sameban Army itself at the border was a potential target, but given the likely collateral damage would include Euran forces and civilians it was deemed too risky - especially if it encouraged the Sameban's to use one of their potentially existing nukes to make a further tactical breakthrough. The presidential residencies and central government buildings in Samebus were even considered, but this was deemed to be too extreme an escalation right now. This assertion proved controversial to the minority in cabinet who liked the idea. 'Prime Minister, they tried to kill you with a DIY nuclear bomb in one of our proudest small cities, and you're going to balk at bombing buildings that are probably empty?'
'We can't just level central Samebus. Anyway, if we wanted to burn their capital we'd have to go strategic to be truly effective. What about Target Twelve, General?' General Danforth cycled through a few slides back to Twelve. 'Pareda Base, a large military facility in the north east of the country. It isn't too close to any significant population centres but it is large and numerous buildings are extremely hardened to conventional attack. It also happens to be central to Sameba's arms length counterinsurgency operation against far left and regional ethnic rebel groups. If we took it out, it could destabilise their rear and motivate South Sameban's and the like to revolt. This in my view is the most obvious land based target.' The cabinet agreed, before also concluding that an isolated but significant Sameban radar station on the tiny Makrose Islands in the Endemian Ocean should be hit.

The main vote was about to be called when the most senior naval representative sounded an objection. 'Prime Minister, if we approve this, I have one issue with it which I'm sure you will understand. Pareda and the nuclear facility should be an air force operation, I am sure we all agree on that. I'd also understand if they are used against Samebus or Aspel or any other Sameban mainland target in the future. However, Makrose is too isolated to make it a viable op. I suggest that we either try and do it conventionally with a carrier group, or use it to make an even bigger statement.' The PM was curious, as were most, at this vague description. 'Bigger statement? What could be bigger than a tactical nuclear strike against an island barely the size of a small city with no civilian population?'
'We got strategic. The full deal, so to speak.' Such a proposal was not just unorthodox, but extremely divisive. Using strategic nuclear weapons, which would likely be submarine launched ballistic missiles, was a massive escalation. 'I can't abide by this. Setting aside for a moment how absurd it is to be dropping megatons on a radar facility, how the hell do we sell this to the international community? "Hi, its your trustworthy Euran buddy here, don't mind us, we're just nuking the absolute shit out of the Endemian Ocean, don't fuck with us?" This would be an appalling way to go about obtaining international support.'
'This isn't about international support.' The intervention of Foreign Minister Yarley was timely and welcome for the advocates in the room, silencing their opponents. 'We already have that, bar those who are too weak to risk incurring Sameba's wrath. This is about sending the message that whatever you pull on us, we will always be willing to go to the next level to come out on top. It is reminding our enemies that they should think twice before making the same mistakes Sameba has, and reminds our friends the value of being on our side. It will also throw some attention off the fact that our currency has been flatlining for a month.' It was a persuasive argument but Judge could tell the room was pretty evenly split. He didn't need to say anything though. His approving nod indicated to all that he had been won around.

Extraordinary times had most definitely produced a desire for an extraordinary response. Sensing great unease in the room, Judge decided to set his cards out on the table. 'In my view, its fairly simple. We go tactical on the two targets on mainland Sameba that were discussed, and threaten further escalation if Sameba or any allies attempt to use the bomb against us again. We go strategic against the radar facility. Its isolated so there will be few civilian ships to hit or irradiate, and from what our colleagues here have told us the environmental impact should ultimately be manageable. I presume, Admiral, that we have subs in the area already?'
'Two with a strategic payload, sir.'
'Good. That will do. What we can do alongside this, instead of carrying out more tactical strikes on riskier targets, is to start launching some selected aerial raids, rather than just throwing a few cruise missiles over the border at random targets. I think we should all agree that the EAF needs to decide within 72 hours on a list of priority industrial and military targets to attack with strategic bombers, cruise missiles and ground attack aircraft. I'll be using my executive powers to affirm that. But the nuclear order must go to a vote. In advance, I want anyone here who deems this to be a resignation issue to say so now.' Two hands went up. A junior minister explained their decision. 'I don't think this is the right tactical or moral choice, Prime Minister, simple as that. I'm sorry.'
'No need to be. Mary?' Mary Cotter was the Minister for Pensions, and the only high profile cabinet minister so seriously opposed as to consider resigning. 'Sir, with the greatest respect, I've been the leader of the anti-nuclear grouping of our Liberal Party for twenty years. I cannot countenance the idea of using nuclear weapons. I have great respect for you, and will not resign from the government completely in a time of such national crisis. But I cannot continue as a cabinet minister.' Judge respectfully understood her decision, as did all he suspected. The vote came. Everyone exhaled as it narrowly passed. Now they were heading towards the point of no return. Several military officers approached him to enquire about when they could get the go ahead. 'As soon as possible. We need to do it in a coherent manner, at the same time if possible. Consider this my approval to launch, bring me the code box later and we'll go through it.' From this moment onwards, Eura was committed to using nuclear weapons in combat for the first time within Rushmore. It would not be pretty, but Judge was sticking to his promise to the people that the government would do anything to ensure this was the last ever invasion of Eura.

[Natanians and Nosts]

"Accents of Natanians and Nosts,part three:The Northern.
The 'prestige' accent of Natanians and Nosts,and the natural accent of the capital N-City.Some distinctive characteristics of the accent are the use of a more closed version of the 'dress' vowel for the vowel in happy and a longer version for words like face and cake,words like poor and cure end the diphthong more open,also it does use a nasal vowel in words like fir or fur;alongside the Southeastern accent it does not use the /u.o/ sound in words like cool and pool.It's widespread use is derived from the fact that N-City is the capital since old times and historically is an influencial region.
The Northern accent is represented in our football team by players like Natan Nínnio Gonçalo and Marcos Tarquínio Ivanov."

-Well,this was another episode on the series abut our accents.
-Now.News from the national team.
"Natanians and Nosts had its worst defeat at the World Cup Qualifiers,losing 7-2 against Kosovakia at the Stadion Nacional.The game was dominated by Kosovakia,except for the last ten minutes when our team grew and scored the second goal.The game had an almost full Stadion Nacional.Kosovakia persisted on attacking with good opportunities by Martin Mistov,Gëzem Sobivic and Bekim Sobaksia,but they scored at the seventeenth minute of the first period with Dimitrov Sablikov after a corner.Three minutes later Gëzem after dribbling two scored the second goal.The third came at the thirtieth minute after several atempts,when Gëzem scored once more.The end of the first period saw Natanians and Nosts 'discount' with Natan Nínnio Gonçalo with a goal from a foul.
The fourth goal was scored by Bamir Sabok,at the third minute of the second period.The fifth came at the tenth minute,by Martin Mistov.At the fifteenth minute Gabriel Ápio Silva suffered a penalty,but the goalkeeper deffended,four minutes later Martin made a good cross and Gëzem scored.The last one was scored by Martin at the thirtieth minute.Our second goal was scored by Natan Nínnio Gonçalo with assistance of Logan North who just had ente'ed.At the 44th minute of the second period Lucas Lucius Vit lost an incredible opportunity of scoring the third."
-We are with Gheorghe.Gheorghe any comments?
-No Ion.It's just a bad result.I am just shocked because we managed to suffer "only" five goals from The Holy Empire,but seven from Kosovakia is unexpected.
-Gheorghe did yo talk to anyone?
-Yes Mihaela.I talked to Mr. Ion,our coach,he just lamented and said the team was sad for the results.
-Okay Gheorghe.After the break:Parliament can't agree on some bills.

[Valanora]

"The world is certainly getting more angrier out there. Protests are going on left, right, and center, while there is literally nukes being dropped and other weapons tests being done. It is hard to believe how quickly things have escalated, it seemed not to long ago that there was a strive towards peace, unity, and understanding. All that now seems to have gone out of the door in favor of discord, isolation, and self confirming ideologies."

"The balance of the world seems to be perilously placed upon the edge of a knife, with each straying from a harmonious balance resulting in loss and further slanted edges. While it is quite disheartening to see, it should not be overly surprising to do so, as we have seen it transpire time and time before. Sadly the lesson that those who do not learn from the history are bound to repeat its mistakes is one that is largely ignored."

"A shame, though when the majority of the population would rather consume media that appeals to the lowest common denominator as well as see history as boring, it is as you say an unsurprising result. That being of sound mind and good intellect has become something of a taboo and inherently casts doubts and distrust among the academics and intellectual circles from the common people is additionally quite problematic. For it is those circles who provide the new inventions and ideas that are usually required to tackle the complex or even more mundane of problems and intricacies that envelop our world."

"Well as you well know, this shaping to have the masses distrust those who are in the intellectual circles was not a random development, but rather a very focused and slow burn attack by those wishing to keep control of the masses. It is widely accepted that one of the best ways to keep a large group of people in relative control is to keep them uninformed and distracted, which is exactly why there has been a very long, covert war against the academics and intellectual circles. If it is seen as being taboo to be intellectual, then those with such desires might think different, in hopes to not be made as outcasts, while that mass media consumption that you have mentioned definitely rings very true in keeping the minds of those people quite distracted."

"Do you think that we are past the point of no return or that there might still yet be hope that the world can make a quick turnaround much as it has recently? I want to believe that compassion, understanding, and coexistance can come and replace all of the anger and hatred that seems to have come boiling to the surface as of late, but with the way that wars have begun in both the physical and psychological sense, I do not have a great amount of hope that it shall come to pass. That this is but just the beginning of a very dark era that is about to begin, that when history looks back at these years, they will be seen just as the great dark times were."

"All that it takes for evils like this to win is for good people to do nothing in the response to the rise of such dark forces. With that said, so long as those who do still hold those values that you wish to see reestabalished as the norm rather than what has become the norm continue to try and resist such drastic changes, then there is still hope for a turn around. However when false deities and crimes against sentient beings are done without blinking an eye or interference, it is hard to hold out hope. Though that is what is needed, for hope is among a person's greatest strength and can inspire those who have even seen their spark be snuffed out. With the way that the dark cloud has come from the horizon and blotted out the sky, we all could use some of that sparkle of hope to keep us going through what is to be a very dark age to be sure."

[95X]

Calling the 95X Government

Lucy Lumberstick was tasked with writing a story about visiting 95X. So, she tried giving the 95X Government a call.

Hello, this is Larry!

"Hello Larry, my name is Lucy Lumberstick with the Portlandistan Zero, can you connect me with your department that handles international travel information?"

I'm sorry, I can barely hear you there.

"Lu-cy Lum-ber-stick with the Port-land-istan Zero," she repeats slowly.

Yes.

"Our newspaper is running a story on visiting the country and we're needing to talk to your office that handles international travel information."

Yes, sorry, what was your name again?

"Lucy Lumberstick, Portlandistan Zero. For the third time."

Well, it's interesting you would call, because my third-oldest was talking about this last week. And he's very smart, because he was the first in the family to become a CEO, he's doing quite well and we're all very proud of him. So what else do you have to say about it?

"Larry, thank you, but I'm on a deadline here, can you please connect me to the travel department?"

I'm sorry, I didn't understand you there, can you repeat that please?

"Larry, can you connect me to the travel department, or perhaps the executive department?"

I'm sorry, again?

"Have I actually called the 95X National Government?"

Could you repeat what you just said?

"Larry, are you a recording?"

Yes, yes, yes.

"Their government number is a recording!" Lucy says as she hangs up in disgust.

[Revolutionary Nordskania]

RETRIBUTION

CHAPTER I

The clan of people known as the Northern Syndicate had succeeded in masterminding a war that changed an entire island. They had been the ones to rise up against the communist regime of the past, and had been the ones to gain their independence and gain freedom for their entire region, the north of the country. They had been the ones to support the Ryakova rebellions that spread the revolution from the north to the southern lands that were still under communist control. And when chaos reigned in the resulting battles and Pridnestrovia launched their invasion to restore order, the Northern Syndicate had been the one to bring in foreign support to win the war with, the one to fight on the front lines, and the one to negotiate the Turbayov Resolution that had brought peace.

Because of them, Nordskania was now made of a number of independent states that better represented its people; the anarcho-capitalist confederation of clans in the north, the fascist State of Nordskania in the center of the country, the ethnically different Republic of Vestania in the south and southwest, and the reformed Nordskania Democratic People’s Republic in the east, which was now something of an oligarchy that had went from being far left to leaning right of center. They had succeeded in their goal to remove the communist influences, from both the ruling regimes of the island and from the areas that had formerly been occupied by Pridnestrovia. It had been at the cost of much property damage and many lives, and the city of Puloko, but they had succeeded.

They still weren’t happy, however. As counter-revolutionary leader Darya Zharkov had said, they would never be happy until they had turned the tables on the leftists and repeated the end of the War of the Red and the White. She was, of course, referring to how the Communist Party had killed off anyone who supported its rivals, after taking power in the country long ago. Now that the communists had been ousted and their allies forced out of the island, Darya and the rest of the North’s allies were ready to return the favor to their enemies. Victory wasn’t enough for them. They had to be sure that the enemy would never rise again, that they would be permanently extinguished and fully repaid for what they had done in the past. In the minds of the North, it was time for the left to pay for every crime that they had ever committed in Nordskania, in blood.

That was what the meeting in Kurovo was about, between the heads of the Northern Syndicate and the Kurovo based sub-clan known as the Blue Skulls. The Skulls had their roots as a group of soldiers that had fought for the North against the communists and against the invaders, but they’d expanded after the northern secession and had become land owners outside of the city of Kurovo. They were known for being the fiercest men that the Northern Army could find, and had been responsible for many of the psychological warfare operations of the initial revolution. The skulls outside of military camps in Nordskania was a thing that had been invented by them; so was the practice of Nordskanian soldiers using audio broadcasting systems to call out their enemies personally and warn them to run, after lowering their morale.

Now, the Blue Skulls were one of the groups in the country that wasn’t done after the war was. They wanted more, and they knew that the Northern Syndicate wanted more too, and that was why their leaders and the Northern leaders, including Chief Executive Anya Belashova, had spent days discussing their plans after the war had ended. Those plans were finalized. Now, the military wing of the Skulls were gathered in a large hangar, receiving the news for themselves about what was going to happen.

“The left wing has committed many great crimes against the various peoples of Nordskania,” said Danilo Loncar, standing at the back of the hangar on the makeshift stage that had been set up, with the Northern Syndicate’s flag draped behind him and the crowd in front of him. “The left unjustly came into power after unseating the democratically elected government that had kept the island stable and economically well off for many years before the left rose. They defended that unjust reign brutally, taking action against anyone that spoke out against them, regardless of the merit of their complaints and regardless of the actual law. Under the left, we saw many die because of the poor economy that was caused by leftist economic policy, and we watched prosperous cities like Turbayov and Ryakova grow poorer and poorer as time marched on and the left spent more time in power. They eliminated any competition, including any supporters of the last government, and they did what they wanted with the country and acted unchallenged for decades.”

There was a pause, and Danilo spoke again. “Us in the north resisted them, fought for our independence, and then spread that rebellion to the south and brought freedom to the entire island. But there are still people that want to take that away from us and see us return to a communist rule, or even the rule of a foreign power that only cares about the past and not about the people of the island. We resisted Pridnestrovia, but some people still support them. Some people still think that they would be better rulers than Nordskania’s own people, and would fight for them if they invaded us again. We in the north know that to be false, and we will not allow such people to ruin what we’ve spent years, or even decades, working to build back up after the leftists ruined everything that they touched. This revolution has been building for decades, and now that we finally have what we want, nobody shall take it from us.”

The crowd roared, but Danilo wasn’t done. The speech was just beginning, really. “The Northern Syndicate, the State of Nordskania, and the Republic of Vestania have come together to decide which types of people our lands would be better off without, and we have come to this conclusion. No communists, socialists, anarcho-syndicalists, feminists, and democratic socialists will be welcome in Nordskania. We are no longer a leftist country, and we will no longer allow leftist influences to corrupt what we have worked towards. We are not a democracy, and our freedom does not mean freedom to do whatever one wants. Subversion is treason, and treason is the one crime that always results in death. From this day on, let it be known that there will be no leftism in Nordskania, and to those of you that still support the regime that killed its way to power, you are about to know what it was like for your opposition when you first rose. We have one message to the remaining traitors: leave or die.”

Leave or die. The speech would go on, but that was the one key message behind it. There was no room for the left in Nordskania any longer, not after the suffering that it had caused in the communist era and the invasion. As it turned out, if you pushed a group far enough, it wasn’t uncommon for them to snap and push back with the anger of a thousand burning suns. And now, the right in Nordskania had snapped. They had won, for now, and those who were ready to fight them would find that they either had to leave or die.

It was the start of the Great Retribution.

(OOC: Expect future posts to be longer, I was writing this as I was running out of time. I might as well warn everyone that this series isn't exactly for the feint of heart, either, considering the subject matter is a political purge)