World Cup of Hockey 32 (Everything Thread)

[Kaboomlandia]

Phoenix 5, Lisander 4

"Welcome to Reaper Coliseum in Valanora! Today, the ninth-ranked Kaboomlandia Phoenix will look to continue the momentum from their first game, while Lisander is making their debut in this tournament. Lyle Mace is starting this game in goal for the Phoenix, while Jean-Luc Anger gets the nod for Lisander."

"Four minutes into the first period of a fairly balanced game, Phoenix picking right up where they left off against Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland. Darryl Rutherford has the puck on the right side, dumps it into the zone, Phoenix making a full change for the first line as the Kid Line comes back on. Anger stops the puck behind the net, Huddleston back behind his own net to pick up the puck as both teams complete their changes. Zane Huddleston makes a quick pass across the zone for James Allegro, who skates over centre and tries a move outside on Bore, but he can't get past the Phoenix veteran and he wipes out over the blueline. Mace clears the puck away from his net, Bore behind the net for Strachan. Derek Strachan plays the puck off the boards and out, but Bryson Martin has the puck down the left side for a three-on-two. Martin crosses the blueline, stops and throws it across the ice where it's knocked down by Linden. Kennedy Linden shoots, but a quick glove save by Anger stops play."

"Nine minutes into the opening frame, still a scoreless game between Kaboomlandia and Lisander. Lynton and Horsfall two-on-two with Lindsay and Nash, but the puck is poked free and Philips picks it off. Adrian Philips back the other way on a quick breakout play. Philips crosses the blueline, flips the puck to Tyler Martin, shoots, stopped by Anger. Rebound is kicked out for Rutherford, back to the blueline for Herndon. Quick pass to Clooney, back to Herndon, shot it high and wide. Philips collects, goes behind the net, out to Clooney pinching in, shoots, SCORES! Some pretty passes, and Patrick Clooney opens the scoring for the Phoenix!"

"First period is winding down, but Lisander looking to tie the game up on a hooking call against Samsonov. Phoenix playing the box, Brandon Montagne has the puck on the back line. Montagne over to Zane Huddleston on the right side. Huddleston down low for Schiller, sharp-angle shot is blocked by Coderre. Schiller picks up the puck, back to Montagne. Brandon Montagne shoots from the point, stopped by Mace, Allegro shoots and scores! James Allegro picks up the rebound on the power play and the game is tied!"

"The first period is over, and these two teams are tied at one goal apiece from Patrick Clooney and James Allegro. However, Kaboomlandia was outshot 16-9 in that period and needs to step up their defense."

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"Second period is getting underway here in a 1-1 game between Kaboomlandia and Lisander. 41 seconds in, puck is dropped back to Tyson Nash who plays it off the boards and out for Mikael Samsonov coming back the other way to backcheck. Samsonov plays a centring pass for Blacken, the big centre will just flip it into the end boards for a change. Now the second line is out, Tyler Martin goes straight for the forecheck. Toloni panics, tries a quick pass off the boards but Rutherford springs forward to pick it off. Darryl Rutherford with the big slapper, he scores! A bad turnover off an effective forecheck puts the Phoenix up by one!"

"Five minutes gone in the middle frame. Phoenix starting to control the play here in the Lisander end. Derek Strachan has the puck, down low on the left side for Martin. Bryson Martin skates it out, drops behind him for Strachan who shoots it into the corner for Zack Murray. Murray with the puck now, sets up to Strachan. Quick back pass to Murray, quick shot is off the handle of Anger's stick. Diez gets to it first, off the glass...and a bad bounce and Haines is speeding to this one! Tiago Haines crosses centre on a clean break, cutting in on Lyle Mace. Haines fakes, shoots, scores! A horrible bounce for Derek Strachan as the puck hits the stanchion and lands right on the stick of a Lisander player racing in the other direction for a beautiful breakaway goal!"

"Twelve and a half minutes into the second here, Phoenix now on the power play. Murray wins a face-off back to Strachan on the left side, quickly on the right to Herndon. Scott Herndon fakes a shot, quick pass down low for Linden. Kennedy Linden shoots, blocked away by Anger. Zack Murray gets the puck now, back to Strachan. Derek Strachan winds, fires, blocked by Donati. Murray picks up the puck in his skates, quick feed left side to Martin, Martin kicks it to his stick, shoots, SCORES! Bryson Martin puts the Phoenix back on top on the power play!"

"Five minutes left in period number two, Lisander buzzing. Leland Anderson tries to take the puck over the blueline but is turned away by Donati. Francesco Donati finds Haines going up the middle with a quick pass, Bore caught pinching and Lisander has a two-on-one with Aquino. Tiago Haines keeps, shoots, scores! Lisander has tied the game!"

"And as we go to the second intermission, the Phoenix and Lisander are locked in a 3-3 battle after two periods."

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"Back we go for the third period from Reaper Coliseum in Valanora, where we have an exciting 3-3 deadlock between Kaboomlandia and Lisander. Both goalies have played well despite the high score, but the special teams are the story of the day, with two combined power-play goals in the game."

"Final frame is four minutes old, Phoenix regroup after a missed rush. Patrick Clooney skates backwards behind his own net, waiting for a Phoenix change. He throws the puck up the boards, Adrian Philips boosts it outside the blueline and knocks it over centre into the Lisander end. Tyler Martin chases again, Sora Necchi throws the puck around the boards back around to Huddleston. Zane Huddleston shoots it up the boards, but it's cut off by Darryl Rutherford, who snaps a quick shot wide and it stalls behind the net. Martin picks it up, wins a battle and puts the puck out for Philips, shoots, SCORES! Four and a half minutes in, the Phoenix are back on top!"

"Both teams making changes now, near the midway mark of the third period. Casey Lindsay circles back around his blueline, long pass here and now a breakaway for Mikael Samsonov off a line change! Samsonov races in, shoots, scores! It's a two-goal game for the Phoenix and their cheering section at the Reaper Coliseum comes alive!"

"Lisander is pressing now, as they are down two goals and are frantically trying to make a comeback. Ratti gets the puck in over the blueline with 3:28 left to go, dishes off to Allegro. James Allegro shoots behind the net, Bloxham knocks Nash off the puck and carries it out. Back to the line for Huddleston. Zane Huddleston crosses with Ratti. Quick pass from Huddleston, Ratti shoots, scores! Justin Ratti with a great shot, and Lisander is within one!"

"Lisander buzzing with thirty seconds left. Brandon Montagne has the puck, shot through traffic is blocked by Herndon. Bounced back to Montagne, quick pass to Lynton who shot, Mace just got an arm on that. Puck is behind the net now, Simoniti protecting the play, now he kicks the puck out for Horsfall who finds Diez at the point. Asier Dies shot, kicked out by Mace. Horsfall collects the rebound, shot, another save by Mace from the same spot where Allegro beat him earlier. Fifteen seconds left and finally the puck is flipped high down the ice by Patrick Clooney, and it looks like this is going to do it for the game. One last rush, Montagne goes back and fires the puck all the way up, but the pass can't be handled and this game is over! Lyle Mace gets his first win of the tournament and the Phoenix lead Group H heading into their day off!"

[Mercedini]

World Cup of Hockey Special
MD2 Quick Review: Lorenthia vs. Mercedini
@ Valanora

Mercedini's chance took a severe and possibly fatal dent as they failed to beat unranked Loranthia in their second match at the World Cup of Hockey. The Goldfinches were frustrated in a game that many thought they would easily win in, with heroic defending from the Loranthians, who kept out all of Mercedini's 23 shots on target. It was clear from the outset the Lorenthia were here to park the bus and pick up as many points as they can while frustrating the opposition. It was the unranked side's first match at the World Cup of Hockey and they got a result that quite frankly, would be a lot more than they were expecting if Mercedini were in the same position. Mercedini now fall to fourth in the group and without a win in their first two games, but still have two games left to salvage their campaign. Their next match day will be a BYE match, but after that they will play Devonta which will be a make or break game in their group, a win will see them almost guaranteed to beat Devonta in the group barring other results. While their final match will be against Sontarion, the other unranked side in the group which pundit and commentator would think would be a walkover, however the most recent result has put doubt in the minds of Mercedinian hockey fans the world over. Abanhfleft are almost certain to finish top of the group after they beat Devonta in their second match, with the Mercedinians now hoping that the group's top seed will take points over Mercedini's closest rivals. Many think it's a two horse race between Mercedini and Devonta with the winner of their tie advancing, however Sontarion and especially Lorenthia will be the great unknown in the group, as both teams have three games left in the group. We could see an unranked side advancing, however Mercedini will know where they stand after MD3 as they have their eyes on the other matched during their BYE match.

The match was a damp squib from the start, with Mercedini aiming to get the opening goal early while Lorenthia wanted to hold onto the point they had for as long as. It's safe to say that Mercedini peppered the Mercedinian goal time after time after time, relentless pressure but they couldn't force the puck into the net. Lorenthia's 'park the bus' approach to the match never threatened the Mercedinian defence, with Peter and Ian Pollock taking up an unconventional attacking role while the Lorenthian attackers stayed back to defend. The Mercedinian fans were getting frustrated with the match as Lorenthia were deliberately stalling the game to keep the game tied at 0-0. Max Morton had possibly the best chance of the game, with his shot toward goal coming from a goal-mouth scramble which was saved by the Lorenthian goaltender. At the end of the game, very audible boos were coming from the Mercedinian fans while the Lorenthian players celebrate with a debut point. Severe disappointment for the Mercedinian players as they skated off the ice with their head hung low. One point after two games, there may be repercussions if Mercedini fail to make it out of the group for the third successive World Cup of Hockey. They have two games to save their campaign, they have a BYE match next, then they must beat Devonta and finally Sontarion and hope other results go their way in order to make it through to their first ever knockout round.

FINAL
Lorenthia 0 - 0 Mercedini
(0-0) (0-0) (0-0)

Mercedini now head into a BYE match which means we have a day off for once, we will be enjoying the rest of the action at the World Cup of Hockey. We hope you will be able to join us next time for Mercedini's make-or-break fixture, but for now. Don't eat yellow snow!

[Tobiasia]

TTV Sport: Hockey: World Cup 32

The group games so far:
Tobiasia 5-1 The Redvale
Tobiasia 2-4 Valanora

My opponent may:
Choose scorers: Yes
RP scoring events: Yes
Injure my players: No
Godmod injuries: No
Penalize my players: Yes
Suspend my players: No
Godmod anything else: No

STARTERS
Goaltender: Samuel Simpson

1st Defensive Pair:
Arthir Smith
Matthew Gates

2nd Defensive Pair:
Desmond Ruebeni
Andrew Clarke

3rd Defensive Pair:
Ken Wallsom
Hugh Charlie

1st Offensive Line:
RW: Matt Oban
C: John Files
LW: Francis Rose

2nd Offensive Line:
RW: Kim Johnson
C: Martin Howard
LW: Drake Wallard

3rd Offensive Line:
RW: Douglas Devon
C: Charles Williams
LW: Nicol Ardson

4th Offensive Line:
RW: Roger Small
C: William Edwards
LW: Roger Small

[Prusy Krolewskie]

A 0-0 draw between Prusy Krolewskie and Unified Sunrise Islands

Travesian, Valanora - (NEIP) Prusy Krolewskie played an hockey game against Unified Sunrise Islands who are ranked 12th and it ended with a 0-0 draw, it was an epic goaltending duel between Grzegorz Grzegorczyk and Marty Svelber. Sunrise Islands were wearing their black jerseys and the Reprezentacja Pruski was dressed in white. With 16:33 remaining in the 1st period, Valentin Lampérier passed the puck to Tyson Sharp who skates with the puck and he's on a 2 on 1 with Gabriel JØrgensen. He passes him the puck and he shoots but Grzegorz Grzegorczyk makes a sensationnal save! 6 minutes later, Krzysztof Wdowiak is penalized for hooking and the Sunrise Islands bombarded Grzegorz Grzegorczyk with 7 shots during the power play but Grzegorz Grzegorczyk stopped everything. With about 2 minutes remaining, Szymon Krzysztalowicz makes a sensationnal forward pass to Czeslaw Niemczynowicz who'se on a breakaway but Marty Svelber makes the save.

With 13:51 remaining in the 2nd period, Wolfgang Wozniakowski is penalized for hick sticking, it's only a 2 minutes, and the Sunrise Islands goes again on a power play. Tyson Sharp passes the puck to Hao Lan who passes to Valentin Lampérier who passes to Phillip Lee who shoots and scores. But the referree denies the goal because of a goalie's interference by Gabriel JØrgensen. Gabriel JØrgensen is penalized for 2 minutes. Phillip Lee starts yelling at the referree and complaining and he looks pretty much mad that he denied his goal and the referree gave him a 10 minutes misconduct penalty (not a game misconduct), so Lee won't be on the ice for the next 10 minutes. With the absense of Lee, Coach Briain Blessed made some changes with his lines and Albert Johnsson was now saking on the 1st line and Israphel Mortiise, on the 2nd line. With 4:29 remaining in the 2nd period, Israphel Mortiise skated with the puck and passed it to Brian Skinner who shoots. Grzegorz Grzegorczyk makes the save but doesn't controls the rebound. Marie Létourneau comes in and shoot the puck but Grzegorz Grzegorczyk makes another save.

Prusy Krolewskie, who has been quiet so far, attacked early in the 3rd period when Czeslaw Niemczynowicz skated with the puck and passed it to Emilia Zyskowska who skates with the puck and skates behind the net, she comes back at the face off circle and shoots but Marty Svelber makes the save. Melania Zyskowska takes the loose puck and skates with it behind the net and comes back at the face off circle and at the blue line and she passes it to Czeslaw Niemczynowicz who skates with the puck and goes behind the net and passes it to Emilia Zyskowska who'se in front of the net, she shoots but Marty Svelber makes a spectacular save, it's probably the save of the game which will be shown on all sporting news! 9 minutes later, the Sunrise Islands attacked on a 2 on 1 again when Albert Johnsson skates with the puck and passes it to Brian Skinner who passed it back to Albert Johnsson. Johnsson shoots but Grzegorz Grzegorczyk makes the save. With less than a minute remaining, Melania Zyskowska skates with the puck and passes it to Emilia Zyskowska who skates behind the net and passes it to Melania Zyskowska who shoots but Marty Svelber makes another save. And the game is over with a 0-0 draw, there's no overtime apparently.

BOXSCORE

1st period
no goal

2nd period
no goal

3rd period
no goal

shots on goal
Unified Sunrise Islands: 38 Prusy Krolewskie: 17

A bye and then Gregoryisgodistan

Prusy Krolewskie put on an impressive fight against a stronger Sunrise Island and we would have lost if Grzegorz Grzegorczyk didn't made all of his sensationnal saves and the game resulted in a 0-0 draw. Meanwhile, Gregoryisgodistan and Cosneolta drew 0-0 either, so Prusy Krolewskie is now 4th in the standings with 1 point in 2 games. Gregoryisgodistan and Cosneolta are tied at 1st place but Gregoryisgodistan takes the lead on goal difference. Prusy Krolewskie will rest on matchday 3 before facing Gregoryisgodistan on matchday 4. We would like to advise every Pruski fans who are in Travesian to do not attend the game against Gregoryisgodistan or any games involving them. If it's not too late, it would be wise to travel to Raynor City and watch tonight's under 21 soccer game aganist Nephara. Meanwhile on matchday 3, Gregoryisgodistan (6) will recieve Unified Sunrise Islands (12) in the afternoon while General Dicking Around (UR) and Cosneolta (UR) will play each other in the evening.

[-Anthor-]

Ducks Drop Match to the World Champions
Quick scores from Robertson and Poindexter get hopes up, but no performance in the third does the Ducks in

^{SHARE THIS:}

Gnaeus Tanicius Vopiscus (@Gnaeus Tanicius Vopiscus)(TH)
^{Baltha 6, 601AE 6:09 PM | Vaumort, Anthor}

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Graham Robertson as he skates by the Elejamie goal after scoring the first strike of the gameTH photo

Vaumort, Anthor(Herald) — Last night, the Ducks met their budding international ice hockey rivals, the defending world champions the Elejamie Ice Elephants under the lights of Tranquil Park, for what would be their third time meeting, and the Ducks were gambling on third time being the charm for upsetting the world champions.

The Ducks got out of the faceoff, winning the initial one to begin the game, and immediately put themselves to work, firing on and skating like consummate professionals that have been training for months on end; even the new kids to the block, like Kersey and Brice were almost showing the same level of stellar defence they are renowned for across the AIHF. Brice got himself booked a little early with a slashing penalty on Elejamie's first line left winger, but without a man the Ducks surged to prove it wasn't a burden, with Deschamps checking Lucas Madgwick to steal the puck off of him, whipping it over to the right flank where the venerable Poindexter had dodged a slam and caught the puck, he flicked it forward to Brice who expertly snuck it to Robertson who was behind the goal, and he snuck around Elejamie's Antonio Cervantes and slapped the puck right into the bottom left side, right underneath Cervantes's mitt. The goal clearly had an effect, you would swear from the reaction of the fans we just won the whole Cup, and even the Ducks who were trying to remain cool and collected were looking very much upbeat.

After this, the battle turned back on, the Ice Elephants were looking very much un-damaged by the early goal and they began laying on the hits and superior passing, probing the Ducks defense for any holes they could find, and Lucas Madgwick found one after he blew by Pearson on his skates, and was hooked up with the puck by Bill Harrison and Carlos Sierra, the former stealing it off of Kersey after slamming him into the boards, and Madgwick scored some revenge off of a hard slapshot that sailed right past Dickson's head, evening the score out for the moment. The remainder of the first period was a back and forth battle, both sides taking atleast nine shots, four of which were on target for Anthor and seven of which were on target for Elejamie, and this was the first signs of trouble for the Ducks. They appeared to be in the rush-up, and were having a hard time collecting their focus under the Ice Elephant's defensive pressure.

The first period ended with every player on either side fighting to push the score in their team's favor, and the Ice Elephant's captain proved his merit, with Anatoly Kasputin scoring a brilliant goal at 15:43 into the second period. It was just barely underway, and the Ducks were already losing, and Graham Robertson could been seen to be visibly upset, shouting at his team mates on the bench, and when he got back on the ice, his fervor was being used to push his fellow team members. Just five minutes after Kasputin's tie-breaking goal, Michael Brice slammed Elejamie's Adam Keane into the boards, and grabbed the puck from the stunned defender and made a long shot pass up to Kersey, who caught it through the ankles of Lupe, and then fired it right at Poindexter who managed to outskate Lupe and Cerin Meloten and fire a long shot through the legs of Cervantes, evening the score back up to 2-2, and the Ducks were given a glimmer of hope.

Unfortunately, just a minute after Poindexter's goal, James Han swooped through the beleaguered defense for what would be ultimately the game winning goal, the assist from Ethan Swinbure, and the Ducks seemed to try to continue to fight, but just couldn't penetrate the Ice Elephant's defense in the third period; they did however manage to stop the Ice Elpehants from scoring any further goals, but they too were locked out as well, which led to their demise.

A post-game interview with Graham Roberston by myself who was in the stands, asking the Ducks captain how the team handled three key appearances against this Ice Elephants team, and how they dealt with losing each time; "Well Gnaeus, we don't let it get to us. Yea, they're a huge block for us going any further in the Cup, but you know what, we came into here fighting the defending world champions, a team at the peak of it's prime, and we fought them to a near-standstill for three full periods. We didn't come away with the win, but I'm damn proud of my team mates for the hard fought battle and congratulate the Ice Elephants on winning it. I will however, be hitting the practice ring tomorrow, I'm going to get them next time."

The Ducks are playing Natanian and Nosts in their next game in two days, the un-ranked team who were crushed in their first match by Elejamie, 5-1, and had a bye this latest week, and Graham and Coach Horn are looking to use the upcoming match for a re-bound, as they continue to fight for their goal to advance into the next stages of play for this 32nd World Cup of Hockey

Gnaeus Tanicus Vopiscus contributed to this article.

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© Tharsius Herald Ltd 2014

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411561 comments

^{FAVORITE THIS DISCUSSION}

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WhiteFreak · 1 minute ago
Damn shame, we deserved that win, it was a hard fought one! We're going to get you next time Elejamie!!

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MitchieFitchie · 4 minutes ago
My prediction was right, that was some Grade A+++ hockey, each team was fighting inch and inch till the end, it's just a shame they outclassed us in the third period. Maybe we need a stronger third line to help with depth? Regardless, we'll beat our rivals one day!!

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TimmySilverton · 4 hours ago
Even with this loss, we're going to qualify for sure. So, we just gotta pray someone takes the Ice Elephants down for us in the Round of 16.

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[Chromatika]

The atmosphere surrounding Chromatika's hockey team was definitely one that was much different than usual Chromatik sporting events. There was a lot more jokes, a lot more camaraderie, lots of looks of disbelief that they were here in the first place.

Sure, two draws wasn't the greatest on paper. But considering it was the first games ever in Hockey? Not bad. Seven goals in two games is also not bad. Vinto and Ki had two apiece, and Julius had one with four assists. Marium and Sand contributed one, and that was that. Could the defense use some work? Absolutely, they could. And they should. But all in all, good results from this experiment of hockey.

[Elejamie]

"... Day two of the World Cup of Hockey and so we go over to John Daverson with the sports. John?"

Yes Steve, good morning, Elejamie! The Icy Elephants have made it two out of two as they beat Anthor 3-2. The last time they played the ducks were those pre-tournament friendlies - where Elejamie won 5-2 in Davenport and 3-1 in Vaumort - and, indeed another win was on the cards. And so, after a tough battle, the Icy Elephants retained the top spot in their group as they get ready for their next game against Tomikosan. Here are the highlights:

The first period saw Elejamie go a man down as, less than a minute after the start, Francisco Solano received a two minute minor for boarding Michael Brice. Brice himself would receive a minor himself for slashing Solano, presumably as revenge. However, Elejamie weren't able to use the man advantage; in fact, it was Anthor who'd score the first goal of the game, with Graham Robertson - who was assisted by Roderick Deschamps and Austin Poindexter - sneaking the puck past Antonio Cervantes. A shot so great that the Anthoran fans and players celebrated as if they had become World Champions; even Michael Madgwick gave the opposing team a round of applause. However, the party soon came to an end when Bill Harrison delivered a powerful check on Albert Kersey and passed it to Carlos Sierra. Sierra gave it to Lucas Madgwick, who managed to tie things up courtesy of a very powerful slap shot. Although Anthor would twice get power plays - with less than six and a half minutes left, Aaron Andrews slashed Howard Jewel; and with less than one and a quarter minutes left on the clock, Paul Morton accidentally high-sticked Tony Pearson - the Ducks weren't able to trouble Antonio Cervantes, At the end of the first period, the score was 1-1, meaning that so far it was anyone's game.

The second period saw a bit of back and forth action between the two teams. With 15:43 left in the period, Elejamian captain Anatoly Kasputin put his team out in front with a brilliant snap shot, which was assisted by Cerin Meloten and Adam Keane. However, Poindexter was able to equalise for the Ducks around five minutes later, thanks to Michael Brice checking Keane and passing it over to Albert Kersey, who set up the shot. Anthor's relief was short-lived when Ethan Swinburne intercepted a pass from Ross Bacon and passed it over to line-mate James Han, who knocked it past Dickson Moore off the one-timer. Although Anthor kept their hands clean this period, Elejamie's Bill Harrison was sent to the box just under three minutes in for slashing Erhardt Müller and, with eight and a quarter minutes left, Felipe Barajas was sent to the box for interference; however, much like the first period, Anthor weren't able to capitalise on the powerplay. At the end of the second period, the score was 3-2 to Elejamie, who needed a goal or two to feel comfortable.

The third period, however, saw a slew of penalties. Less than eight minutes in, Tony Pearson received a double minor for high-sticking Paul Morton. In fact, Francisco Solano would be sent to the box himself shortly afterwards for slashing Michael Brice, presumably to get back at that slash from earlier. And, with just over three minutes left, Carlos Sierra had to sit out for two minutes for high-sticking Austin Poindexter. However, despite this, no goals were scored in the third period. The closest the Icy Elephants got was this wrist shot from Anatoly Kasputin that could've gone in had the net not been moved; whereas Graham Robertson got ready to celebrate this slapshot only for his face to drop when it turns out that Cervantes just managed to grab the puck and force a face-off. As a result, the match ended 3-2 in Elejamie's favour, with the Icy Elephants celebrating their fifth victory over the Anthoran Ducks.

In a post-match interview, head coach Michael Madgwick said "While I won't say that was a tough game, I will say that Anthor are definitely showing some improvement. In fact, in a couple of years it probably won't be a surprise to see the likes of Graham Robertson or Mike Brice in the ENIHL. Maybe the Dockers, Stars, Puffins or Ángeles could start sending their scouts to these games just to keep an eye out on any foreign talent.

As for us? Anatoly, James and Lucas all scored good goals. Toni did look a little bit out of it after that opening goal, but he managed to get himself together and made some spectacular saves. We took a few bad hits, got a few bad penalties but nothing to worry about. Maybe we'll face them again later on in the tournament, maybe in the next. Either way, we've got a lot to learn from this game and hopefully we can keep this momentum going."

"Any thoughts about the Tomikosan match?"

"I'm not worried. And the boys shouldn't be worried either. Tomikosan are new to the competition, so theoretically it should be an easy game. It all depends on how they get on with the Free Republics in their match later this evening. However, what I will say know is that I'm giving Toni a little break and having Peter start the next game. That's the only thing I'm going to say so far. Everything else is a secret."

Meanwhile, in the aforementioned other game, Tomikosan's debut World Cup of Hockey game didn't go as well as they hoped as they went down 1-0 to the Free Republics. So, as we look at the table, we can see that - as I've mentioned earlier - Elejamie remain top with four points. Anthor are second and the Free Republics are second and third respectively with a win and a loss, with the Ducks being ahead on goal difference. As a result of that loss, Tomikosan are now in fourth place with no points and a goal difference of -1. And, last but not least, the Natanians and Nosts remain in last place, thanks to that 6-1 opening loss and their bye day.

And so, as we look to Monday's games, we can see that the Free Republics will take their day off; Anthor will see if they can come back with a win over the Natanians and Nosts; and Elejamie will be up against Tomikosan. Will the Icy Elephants make it three out of three? Or will the Hockey-loids pull off the shock of the century? Find out on Puck Drop!

Meanwhile, over in Group H, it was a nine-goal game as Kaboomlandia beat newcomers Lisander 5-4. The Phoenix, who fell in the Round of 16 to Ficiscia back in Hannasea thanks to a 4-1 loss, were the favourites going into the match...

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Period			P1	P2	P3	FS
Anthor			1	1	0	2
Elejamie		1	2	0	3

[Lisander]

Lisander fights until the last second!
Luísa Brealey, for HOCKEY⚜NΛTION

H⚜N

What a game, my friends, WHAT A GAME!

Not even the most optimistic of the Lisanderians imagined such an exciting game! The three thousand fans who came to accompany the games of the first phase in Baysleef were well conformed with a team that struggled to lose by small differences:

—Oh, as long as they do not make you shame for more than four goals difference, I'm happy," said a man, accompanying his little son.

—Actually, we do not have much, we came to see Jean-Luc!" He's sooooo cute! — two teenage girls, wearing shirts with the number 01 and the names Ludie and Maggie, looked excited to see the Lisanderian keeper in the arena. —We hope he defend well today!

—I think it's going to be 3-1 for Kaboomlandia, our goal will be scored by Blake Lynton. This team still lacks experience.


But what we saw on the pitch was extremely positive! Lisander was not there to be a joke. The start of the game was balanced, and on five minutes, Kennedy Linden's shot was the first real chance of attack from Kaboomlandia, which stopped at Anger's hand. The Phoenix continued with pressure, and at nine minutes, on an assist from Adrian Philips to Patrick Clooney, opened the scoreboard. Lisander then started the substitutions, looking for good spaces, keeping the possession of the puck and shooting whenever possible. Great defenses from Lyle Mace avoided the tie for at least 5 minutes. At fifteen minutes of the first period, with Samsonov in the box by Hooking, the Power Play team came in, and with the speed of Daniel Schiller, they went to the attack. With bad angle, Schiller sent in the middle to Brandon Montagne's shot. Mace was unable to hold and the puck returned easily to James Allegro, who just had to push in and hear the sirens. 1-1, euphoria in the small crowd.

And for the first period it was all. In the second period, a rain of goals from both sides, which started at 41 seconds with Darryl Rutherford, after a very poor pass from Henri Toloni, scoring 2-1 for the phoenix. Kaboomlandia happiness have not longed, because the counterattack by Asier Diez found its way through the poorly assembled defensive formation, making Tiago Haines' shot very easy. 2-2 and the Lisanderians already believed it was possible to win that game. The game followed well balanced and in the twelve minutes of the second stage, Stefan Lovell went to the box for a completely unnecessary Icing, which greatly angered coach Andreas Bohinc. It was the opportunity that Kaboomlandia had been waiting for. From Face-off to the goal they were only a few seconds, but the sequence of defenses was impeccable. Once Anger, once Francesco Donati, in the third they could not handle. The pass to the left found the free angle and the puck ended up inside. 3-2. If you think Lisanderians got unmotivated after the goal, you're wrong, they were quite the opposite . Haines was doing well, so Bohinc put him to play! At 15, received from Donati, faked the pass to Aquino, cheated the goalkeeper and tied the game again! Nothing was defined so far and there were still twenty minutes left!

The third period began with pressure from the Phoenix. In the fourth minute, after a bad pass from Zane Huddleston, intercepted by Darryl Rutherford, Kaboomlandia resumed the play behind Anger's goal, and in a quick pass from Martin to the Philips shot, opened 4-3. Kaboomlandia still made 5-3 in the 10th minute with a long pass, and appeared to bury the hopes of the Lisanderians. Or not? With just over three minutes left, Ratti advances with Puck, passes to James Allegro. Allegro protects and sends behind the net to Tim Bloxham. Bloxham assures possession, returns to Huddleston while Ratti advances. The crossing again fools the keeper and Justin Ratti finds the open goal to make 5-4. The crowd started screaming madly at the Reaper Coliseum. All hell broke loose in the last two minutes, and Lisander made a lot of pressure. With thirty seconds left, it was all or nothing for Lisander, and the game only ended in a tie for a miracle by Lyle Mace. Or rather, three miracles! First defended the shot of Lynton with one arm, then the one of Diez with the leg and finally the one of Horsfall.

—We have to bend over. Lyle Mace is a f****** keeper! — Mark Horsfall said after the game.

WCoH MD2 - Reaper Coliseum - Baysleef, Valanora
KABOOMLANDIA 5 - 4 LISANDER
(1-1)(2-2)(2-1)

Despite the loss, the fans were very pleased with the result. Lisander faces Ilyseum next, this time hoping to even win.

[Novaya Zemlya]

HEALTHY SCRATCH, AGAIN
Leonid Tikhonenko has been scratched 61 times - Here is his story

LONGVIEW, VALANORA A lot of players have passed by on our national hockey team over the years, but some things seem to stay the same. Bogdan Bobr behind the bench with a grumpy look on his face is one of those things, Iosif Bezukladnikov between the pipes is another. But perhaps above all, seeing Leonid Tikhonenko sit in the press box eating popcorn has become a tradition, and something we all associate with international hockey. Tikhonenko has been selected to every Novozemlyan WCoH and Olympic roster ever, and has been scratched 61 times - a quite remarkable accomplishment. The talented center, once upon a time labeled "The New Yerokhin", has been to eight World Cups of Hockey, but only played nine games on the national team. How did this happen?

If we go back to the time of WCoH 25, Leonid Tikhonenko was a young forward on a Partizan team that had just won the NZEL championship in season 21. The year before he had won the award for best rookie in the league. Now, he was centering Partizan's second line and putting up close to a point per game in the playoffs. He was selected to the national team roster for Novaya Zemlya's first WCoH, and even though he was only a reserve, the general sentiment was that Tikhonenko was turning into Novaya Zemlya's next hockey superstar.

However, player development is rarely linear, and Tikhonenko's next season in the NZEL turned into a disappointment. While coach Bobr still chose him as a reserve for WCoH 26 in Quebec, he did not play a single shift. The pattern would repeat itself in the following WCoH's. Bobr, who saw the undeniable talent Tikhonenko had, kept selecting him and waited patiently for him to put it all together. Meanwhile, Tikhonenko's NZEL career seemed headed in the wrong direction. The former wonderkid developed a repution for being a lazy, unmotivated player and there were rumblings of off-ice issues.

"This was around the time the NZEL became big business," Tikhonenko recalls. "Government money flowed into the league, players started to hire agents and negotiate better contracts. I did too. Suddenly I became a rich man. As a young man in Belushya Guba with more money than I could spend, trouble was bound to happen. I started to hang out with the wrong people. Weird, weird dudes. I got into illegal model railroading, philately and all types of shit. Hockey was not all that important to me anymore. I lost focus."

Despite his lack of focus, Tikhonenko managed to hold down a roster spot on Partizan, but his numbers and ice time were on a steady decline. At one point in season 25, he went on a 22 game pointless streak. Finally, (then) head coach Gennadiy Ponikarov sat him down and told him to get his act together.

"We were at a hotel in Unitia City, we had lost to the Wanderers the night before and I played terrible," Tikhonenko said. "Probably my worst game ever. Ponikarov called me into his room and told me my effort level was not good enough and that I would be released from the club within two weeks if he didn't see some improvement. That was a wake up call, for sure."

Tikhonenko seems to have a complicated relationship with his old coach. The two of them could often be seen arguing on the bench, further reinforcing the image of Tikhonenko as a problem child.

"Gennadiy Ponikarov is old school," he said of his former coach. "He had been around forever, he came from the old days when Partizan players lived in army dormitories 11 months a year. I think he had trouble adjusting to the modern times. He had sort of a military style, there was a strict hierarchy within the organization and a lot of one-way communication, you know? Still, I respect him because he was always honest and upright. If there was a problem, he would always just come out and say it straight to your face. I can appreciate that."

Ponikarov's long tenure at Partizan ended abruptly after season 26, when the club was swept by Shakhter in the NZEL quarterfinals. In a surprising move, the team hired Elejamian Andy Bailey as new head coach, the first foreigner to coach a Novozemlyan NZEL club. The transition was not entirely smooth and took longer than expected, but Partizan found their way back to playoff success in season 28, although eventually coming up short in the finals against Metallurg.

After the low point in Unitia City a few years ago, Tikhonenko's career was slowly picking up again, and under Bailey his numbers improved. Bogdan Bobr kept selecting him to the national team's reserve list, and at WcoH 31 in Hannasea, he finally got his chance. The Novozemlyans' bad start caused Bobr to put Tikhonenko in the line-up for a round robin game against Second Ndakene Federation, and he played 4 out of the 5 remaining games. Although he only registered two assists, he created lots of chances and coach Bobr awarded him with plenty of power play ice time. Had Tikhonenko finally established himself on the national team at age 25? No, apparently not. When the roster for WCoH 32 was announced, he was once again listed among the reserves. His former coach Ponikarov, nowadays a hockey analyst at PBN radio, was not surprised.

"In terms of raw skill, Leonid is one of the best I have ever worked with," Ponikarov said. "But he does not have the passion and the drive to constantly become a better player. He becomes complacent. He does not take care of his off-season training at all and, to be honest, he is out of shape. He is not fit enough to be a first line center in the NZEL."

Tikhonenko's fitness issues are well known. There was a rumor floating around that he gained several pounds when Partizan signed winger Bill Townsend. Why? Townsend - a frequent linemate of Tikhonenko - was allowed to bring a pizza chef with him from Elejamie, paid for by the club in order to help ease the transition to a foreign culture. This sparked the pizza trend that is currently spreading all over Belushya Guba and nearby regions.

"If the future of Novaya Zemlya's hockey program is ruined by childhood obesity, that's on Billy," Tikhonenko said, jokingly. "Maybe it's all an evil Elejamian plot, haha. But on a serious note, yeah I enjoy pizza. Sue me."

It would be wrong to describe Leonid Tikhonenko as a bust. After all, he plays a prominent role on one of the top teams in the NZEL, has 3 league championships and 9 national team games on his resume at the age of 26. Still, it is fair to say that his career never turned out the way we hoped when he won Rookie of The Year 8 seasons ago. I think to myself that it must be frustrating to be constantly reminded about it, but Tikhonenko does not seem to care.

"Sure, it can be frustrating at times, but it is just hockey," he said. "It is a game. I get paid good money to play a game. If you look at it that way, it's all good. It is a privilege. And there is so much more to life than hockey."

[Abanhfleft]

The Pridnestrovian Invasion of Nordskania, Part Sixteen

Somewhere in the Sopovan Front
Sopova, “State of Nordskania”

Agent TANGENT of the Pridnestrovian Military Intelligence Directorate looked around the place which she had chosen as her place to rest and took note of the people who were with her. Infiltrating the Imperial Army had been the most difficult task which she had done, but it was all in the name of the Pridnestrovian Republic. TANGENT’s assignment had been simple: pretend to be a model Anglatian citizen, spout the pro-monarchist rhetoric when asked, and then enlist in the Imperial Army and learn all about the ground-level tactics being utilized by the Imperial Army. It had been sheer luck which had assigned TANGENT to the Imperial Third Army, and it was also sheer luck which had taken TANGENT’s First Division from their stations in Patierre straight into the fighting in Nordskania, which put her in quite possibly the best place where she could provide intel straight from the horse’s mouth, so to speak. Pridnestrovia needed a source to update them on what was happening inside the Anglatian side of the Sopovan Front, which had turned into a stalemated quagmire reminiscent of the Western Front of the First World War, and TANGENT was uniquely placed to tell the Pridnestrovians how their enemies were feeling.

Fighting against the Pridnestrovians had been a tough experience, but a necessary one if TANGENT was to maintain her cover among the Anglatians. TANGENT herself wasn’t Pridnestrovian by birth or by blood, but the chance to do something meaningful for her fellows was too good to pass up. Besides, if it weren’t for the Pridnestrovians, she probably wouldn’t be alive by now. In a sense, TANGENT owed Pridnestrovia a favor, and that was why she had agreed to perform this task for a country which she really should have no business serving in the first place.

TANGENT remembered the day that she had been recruited like it was yesterday; in reality, it had happened years and years ago, and the city had been under attack (but as to who was attacking the city, TANGENT didn’t know), but everything before the point when TANGENT had woken up following a particularly deadly and accurate volley of artillery fire had been strangely erased from her mind, like a massive dark gap or blank space in her memory.

“Two-Five-Five-Four, are you awake?” a muffled female voice asked. “Two-Five-Five-Four, can you hear me? Two-Five-Five-Four, answer me!”

“I am awake,” I replied. “I am here. I am present.” I knew that my name couldn’t possibly be a bunch of numbers like Two-Five-Five-Four, but somehow I felt all right and comfortable using it for myself.

I, Two-Five-Five-Four, opened my eyes, and I saw standing above me two people watching over me, their faces covered in balaclavas. The one nearest to me, the one who sounded like a woman, asked me, “What’s your designation?”

“Two-Five-Five-Four,” I replied automatically. I knew deep down that that couldn’t possibly be my real name, but the fact that the woman had called it my “designation” told me that I had a real name. I just didn’t know what it was just yet.

“Oh, thank God!” the woman sighed, and then she took off her balaclava to reveal a round-faced woman in her late twenties or early thirties with big, wide, and expressive brown eyes. I felt as if I could see straight into the woman’s soul through those big eyes. “Do you recognize me, Two-Five-Five-Four?” she asked.

It took me some time to recall the woman’s name. “You’re Five-Seven-Three, aren’t you?” I asked in reply. I knew that no person in the world should have a string of numbers for a name, but it seemed the correct answer at the time, and it was also quite possibly the woman’s designation rather than her real name, and the woman sighed once again and even smiled sheepishly when I had indeed recognized her.

“Welcome back, Two-Five-Five-Four,” Five-Seven-Three said as she smiled down at me. “You’ve survived the move, which is about the best that I could have expected. I’m sure you would have awoken a lot earlier if Nine-One-Five and Six-Four-Zero hadn’t been too haphazard in carrying you away from that shell crater, but you survived, and that’s all that matters.”

The other person in the balaclava removed the mask to reveal a man with a tanned and very shiny face and a high and most possibly receding hairline. He looked to be in his thirties but was most probably already somewhere in his forties or even his fifties. “In my defense, Five-Seven-Three, and in defense of Six-Four-Zero,” he told Five-Seven-Three, “we had to take the chance of moving Two-Five-Five-Four’s body or else she wouldn’t have survived at all. Neither would we, for that matter.”

“But we won’t know for sure what kind of effect that had on Two-Five-Five-Four until we ask her ourselves, will we?” Five-Seven-Three retorted. She then turned her attention back to me and asked, “Do you feel fine, Two-Five-Five-Four? Is everything all right? Is everything responsive?”

“Yes, I think so,” I replied, moving my arms, my legs, my hands, and my feet. “I think I’m in control.”

“Five-Seven-Three! Nine-One-Five!” someone, another woman, shouted from far away. “We have a situation!”

“What is it this time, Six-Four-Zero?” Nine-One-Five, the man, demanded as another woman strode into view. She looked to be in her late twenties as well, and long brown hair framed a face almost made entirely out of sharp angles. Six-Four-Zero, as the others called her, was carrying an Uzi submachine gun with a suppressor as long as her forearm, and whatever it was she had come to tell Five-Seven-Three and Nine-One-Five seemed to be troubling her deeply. “Well, do spit it out!” Nine-One-Five told her.

“The rebels are closing in on us,” Six-Four-Zero replied. “If we don’t want to answer the awkward questions they’re sure to have if they find us here, we have to move now!”

“Well, why are we still wasting our time?” Nine-One-Five took off the ballistic vest on his chest and turned it around so that it now appeared to be a blue paramedic’s vest. Beside me, Five-Seven-Three did the same, and soon I was surrounded by paramedics instead of whatever paramilitary unit it was that these people were from. “Come on, Five-Seven-Three, let’s go!’ Nine-One-Five shouted as he moved closer to the crack in the wall where Six-Four-Zero had just made her way out.

“Just because you’re a colonel and I’m a major doesn’t mean that you can now start ordering me around, Nine-One-Five,” Five-Seven-Three said. Then, she slid an arm under me and helped me onto my feet. “Can you walk now, Two-Five-Five-Four?” she asked me.

“Not just yet, Five-Seven-Three,” I replied. “I will still need help.”

“Come on!” Nine-One-Five’s voice echoed farther out of the ruins where these people had taken me in and taken care of me. Five-Seven-Three grunted with the effort of carrying my body through the crack and to the streets, where an ambulance was waiting for us. Both Six-Four-Zero and Nine-One-Five were already in the ambulance, waving for us to get in more quickly. Nine-One-Five helped Five-Seven-Three deposit me onto the stretcher in the back of the ambulance, and then Nine-One-Five tapped the glass separating us from the drivers and said, “Let’s get out of here, Eight-One-Two!”

The driver didn’t need any more encouragement. Eight-One-Two stepped on the accelerator, and the ambulance peeled away from the ruins with sirens blaring. After all, it wouldn’t do for us to get out of there just to get hit on our way to safety because the rebels thought that we were just pretending to be paramedics.

“All right, Two-Five-Five-Four, just lie down and rest your head,” Five-Seven-Three told me, and I immediately complied. “Here’s the drill, Two-Five-Five-Four,” she told me. “People think you’re a refugee now, so you have to act like one. We’re sending you deep into enemy territory, straight into the heart of it, if you will. You’re going to Ross, the capital of the Empire of Anglatia. There, you’re going to have to act like the model refugee and then, when your citizenship papers get finalized, you’re going to act like a good old regular Anglatian citizen. Then, when the time comes, you will have to join the Imperial Army. The GRU and the KGB think that war between Anglatia and Pridnestrovia will soon become inevitable, and the Committee and the Directorate want someone to act as their eyes and ears within the enemy’s war machine. Can you do that for us, Two-Five-Five-Four?”

“Yes, I can, Five-Seven-Three,” I replied automatically. It felt to me as if I had been given my orders, and that I had been trained to carry out those orders cheerfully, willingly, and immediately. Not that I would have minded. I heard that Anglatia was a good place to visit this time of the year.

“What’s your name?” Five-Seven-Three asked me.

“Two-Five-Five-Four,” I replied.

“No, that’s not your name, agent,” Five-Seven-Three said, shaking her head. “That’s your designation. Tell me, what’s your name?”

I closed my eyes and dug around in my mind, and then I finally came upon my name. I told Five-Seven-Three my real and full name, and this time she nodded.

“Good,” she said. “Now why are you in Anglatia?”

“I am a refugee from the Nordskanian Revolution,” I replied automatically again. “My family and I fled the country to escape from the fighting.”

“Good girl. Now what is your mission?”

“My mission is to gather intelligence and information from the perspective of a soldier of the Imperial Army of Anglatia and to pass it on to the military of Pridnestrovia to help them prepare for conflict or war against Anglatia.”

“What is your designation, agent?”

“My designation is Two-Five-Five-Four!”

“And who do you serve, Two-Five-Five-Four?”

“I serve the Pridnestrovian Republic!”

“As do we all, Two-Five-Five-Four, as do we all,” Five-Seven-Three replied. “Now take a good long rest, agent. You’re going to need your energy for when you step on Anglatian soil for the first time.”

As the ambulance began passing by columns of refugees displaced by the conflict going on outside of us, I followed Five-Seven-Three’s advice and leaned back on the stretcher and let my body and my mind fall asleep.

“All right, ladies and gents!” shouted the commander of Agent TANGENT’s unit, taking her out of her reverie. “The latest intelligence from our scouts has placed small Pridnestrovian patrols of ten men or so circling the little abandoned hamlet of Simyakovo just three kilometers from our position. The Pridnestrovians don’t think that there’s any enemy presence there so they shouldn’t be really alert. It’s our job to show them the error of their ways, and to show these communist bastards that we’re still in this fight. We assemble in ten minutes and set off at fifteen. That is all.”

Agent TANGENT stood up along with the other Anglatians in her unit, which was composed of an eclectic bunch from all corners of the empire. There were full-blooded Anglatians, Valerians, Jugoskanians, Patierreans, Nordskanians, and even some Territory Niners in the unit, although none of them could match Agent TANGENT’s unique identity. But as long as everyone fought and bled and died for Anglatia, that was what mattered to all of them in the army.

So they were going up against Pridnestrovians once again. Agent TANGENT may be serving the Pridnestrovian Republic, but at this moment, she had to serve the Imperial Army first if she was to maintain her cover among the true enemies.

[Savojarna]

SavojarSports.sj - inside reports from all Savojarna
Disappointing Draw versus Dylecte

Stormguard, VAL - As clear as Savojarna's road to the WCoH KO-stage seemed before the tournament, as barren it looks now. The plan was to win the match against fellow unranked Dylecte, a nation we had faced only days before on the football field as the teams were drawn together in the Di Bradini Cup group stage. Following this, an upset against Nephara or Quebec, together with a decent match against Qasden, could have led us on to the next round. The possibility of this had been shown in the past by teams such as Ficiscia, who had qualified in the 29th WCoH in a group with then fourth-seeded Zenic and The Sword Bloke by drawing against both of the group's favourites. However, while such a strategy was more than applicable to the defensively stable Savojar squad, it requires a flawless record against the lower ranked teams. Such a record could not be held up as the Savojar fell short against Dylecte. Against the Royal Kingdom of Quebec, a co-favourite for the title, the Savojar were successful with their attempt to frustrate the Quebecois offense by defending the blue line and trapping their opponent in the neutral zone. However, a much more harmless Dylecte managed to do a similar thing to a Savojar team that had to take a bitter 0-0.

Andrey Strakhov, the goalkeeper with the best percentage of the last SHS season, was chosen to start the second game in order to give a rest day to Hoyman before the difficult do-or-die match against the world's number 11, Nephara. This team will be nothing less than the second-best team of Pot 2, and pose a tough challenge at Hoyman. But we are confident that he can make it, given that the same Niklas Hoyman also conceded only 2 goals against a Quebec team that launched 36 shots onto him. Aside from Strakhov, the team remained unchanged, as was expected after the strong match against Quebec. The match started out as expected, with Dylecte hardly ever crossing the blue line and Savojarna managing a few outbreaks. But given the prudent play of the opponent and their physicality in the defensive zone, Savojarna had a hard time from the beginning. Their first major attempt at the goal came in the third minute and was swiftly stopped as the Dylecte defenders managed to tie up both Yurkin and Djurberg, and neither had even a shot at a rebound after the goalkeeper stopped a slapshot from the point by Toranen. The third line was formated by the coach to break exactly through such physical defenses as Dylecte presented, but to be frank, they did not do that job to the extent we expected. Djurberg was engaged, but failed to make much of a difference. He got off quite a few shots and rebounds, but mostly found only the pad of a waiting Dylecte goalkeeper. Igor Yurkin might have been one of the biggest liabilities to Savojarna in this match. Faced with many small obstructions that likely would have been called in the more zero-tolerance Savojar league, he got visibly discouraged and took six penalty minutes throughout the game.

Dylecte's offense was relatively minor. The main danger they posed came through point shots, mostly easy prey for a good Strakhov. The defense of Savojarna was absolutely up to the job they had to do and managed to push the attackers of the enemy almost entirely out to the boards. For most of the time, the only way to enter the zone for Dylecte was to dump the puck, and in this environment Vasilyev and Asgeirsson absolutely shone. The two team heavyweights dominated their corner with ease and dug out almost every puck in their way. In defense, there were very little points of criticism which is why we all should be very optimistic that this team can score a point or two against Nephara or Qasden. But it is the offense which is a problem for the Dragonborn, and they cannot expect to get through a Nepharim defense any easier than through Dylecte's. There were sparks of genius, for example Ville Stefansson's second period pass on a powerplay right through the box onto the tape of Bryzhnev, who pulled the puck around an attacking defender and shot it over to Djurberg. But even the strong Frans Djurberg, nicknamed "The Pillar" in his home league, was pushed off position by a Dylectian defender. Many of these actions, of course, were on the border of illegal action and the referee let the game flow despite a lot of cross-checks in front of the goal by Dylecte, and interferences such as holding. But this is international physical play, and we cannot expect anything less from Nephara either.

The Gulls are known for their physicality, which doesn't reach the potentially deadly levels of Gregoryisgodistan (try not to get caught between the fronts when their rivalry heats up again!) but is enough to suppress an offense that already fell at the likes of Dylecte. Coach Rundblad is well-advised to send his team through some toughening training, and potentially set Yurkin out there to provoke and grind down their Captain Esther Devante. Or, as the colleagues at the Sports Gossip section suggested, introduce her to Jonas Gulbrandsson. However, what makes us optimistic is the failue Nephara showed to score a goal in sixty minutes against Qasden. It has been difficult to score on the Savojars with counter-attacks, and if Vasilyev and Asgeirsson remain on fire, their backchecking may be enough to push the Nepharim offense out of the way. The key will have to be to force the likes of Devante to the boards and clear the space before Hoyman, two things that they did relatively successfully against the Quebecois. On offense, a lot of the match will be decided either through speed or intelligence for Savojarna. If they manage to get behind the lines of the Nepharim, or to tear apart their formation through intelligent passing and then jump at the gaps, they have a chance to get one or two behind Evangelos Tsatsimas. The third and fourth lines have potentially decisive roles here. The third will need to do what they can to soften up the defense, Yurkin has to grind down his opponent (and potentially sacrifice himself to get one of their stars ejected) and Djurberg will need to cause havoc in front of the goal. If Frans Djurberg is constantly with his toes at the crease, tangling up the defenders in a struggle for positions, he may open up the decisive shooting lane for Toranen, Glukov or Vasilyev. The fourth line can be a big advantage for Savojarna given that it is built upon speed and technique, and may be able to pose a veritable challenge to a worn down or technically inferior fourth Nepharim line. As a final slight advantage, Savojarna has four full lines on offer while Nephara plays with only three defensive pairings and two dedicated enforcers.

After the game, we got to talk briefly to Johan Bryzhnev, Savojarna's only export player who plays for Torpedo Belushya Guba in Novaya Zemlya and was a member of Partizan Novaya Russica before. "The NZEL can be fairly physical as well, but what I saw tonight is unusual", he stated. "I can take and dish out heavy checks, but Dylecte was not about the checking as much as it was about receiving that one little slash, that slight hook, that little push that gets you off balance. I think referees should really be strict on those things", a visibly frustrated Bryzhnev told us. He got off three shots in the game, all of which were blocked by the goalkeeper. "I got slightly hurt in the second period when I caught a slash to the thigh. It didn't stop me from playing, or will impact me against Nephara, but I felt I couldn't go full speed anymore for as long as I should. Same things happened to Ville [Stefansson, ed.] and Perttu [Rantanen, ed.], and you all saw how they crossed Frans [Djurberg, ed.] in front of the net. I mean, in the NZEL guys can check. In the SHS guys can check. They can annoy you in front of the net. Dmitry Vasilyev has never hesitated to lay anyone down to the ice. But there you know it comes, and you know the ref got your back if it gets dirty. But here? This just hurts the game", the visibly upset 19-year-old told me. His coach Fredrik Rundblad took a more conciliatory approach in mainly lauding his defense. Being asked about the referee specifically, Rundblad stated he'd prefer not to comment, and that there are rules and guidelines which are beyond his ability to influence. "My role in the hall is to make everyone play as good as they can, and that's where my responsibility ends. The referee is responsible for what is acceptable on the ice, and the authorities for what he has to do", Rundblad answered when asked if he thought that Dylecte crossed the line of what should be acceptable.

In two days, we need to win against Nephara to remain any chances at the Round of 16. After this game, Quebec takes on Dylecte in a game where we probably have to hope for another tie for the two to take points off each other. As the other game also ended 0-0 between Qasden and Nephara, the Quebecois now have the expected top position in the group and need only a victory against Dylecte to take a big step towards the KO round. Qasden at the time remains the potentially most dangerous opponent, but takes a day off before returning to the competition on MD 4 with the showdown against the Dragonborn, who will by then either be out of the tournament or fighting for their lives with the boost of a victory over the second group seed. The other groups were largely unsurprising, with the exception of unranked Cosneolta, who shapes up to be the surprise of Group G after drawing with top seed Gregoryisgodistan and beating third-seeded Prusy Krolewskie. In this tough group, also featuring the Sunrise Islands, a potential octofinalist seems destined to stumble now.

Savojarna 0-0 Dylecte (0-0, 0-0, 0-0)

GOALS: -
PENALTY: 5x 2 min Savojarna / 3x 2 min Dylecte
SHOTS: SVJ 30 - 19 DYL

THREE STARS: *** DYL Goalkeeper (100%/30 svs) - ** SVJ #35 Andrey STRAKHOV (100%/19 svs) - * SVJ #6 Dmitry VASILYEV (0 G/0 A/+-0)

[Lorenthia]

Guys, the best thing in the world is to be a supporter.
Linus Augustus Ohmdal, HNL Blog Editor

Pia Cecilia Ohmdal, my sister and Left-forward for the Lorenthia Ladies National Team,
watching the game. I am the guy with the blue cap and hands in pockets.

I love hockey. I lived hockey in my university years. I even played in HNL, two seasons in Christiania Ishockey (THE BEST TWO YEARS IN MY LIFE), before retiring to follow my dream of being a medicine doctor full-time. My clinic have now two-years attending hockey players from all the nation. And I leaned one thing in the last two years, healing concussions, bruises and stretched ligaments: BEING A SUPPORTER IS AWESOME. Watch on the screens of Christiania Park, with my friends and my sister, is the best way of experiencing the game. Even better than in the Ice.

In the ice you have all of the pressure, and the crowd booing, and you still need to hear the coach. IS LIKE A COLD HELL. Of course, seeing some of my friends hitting the ice to use the national colors is awesome. If I was an active player, I'd love to be there. My sister made this, and I'm so proud for her. I hope the best luck for these guys.

"And the game?" you ask me, "TELL US ABOUT THE GAME, LINUS!!!"

I like. Even if it was 0-0, I can clearly see potential on the team. The accusations of Mercedinian media that Lorenthian players only stalled the game are clearly absurd. We were the worst team, we had not space to go. What we should do, give the puck in a silver plate and let Mercedini score all the goals they wanted? Don't joke on us. For this evident disrespect, I launch a Social Media appeal. Let's put #MercediniShallNotScore in the trending topics! Let's see who stalls.

#MERCEDINISHALLNOTSCORE

[Botten]

OOC: The following event is taking place in the future. The WCoH is over and Prince Zygmunt VIII of Prusy Krolewskie has abdicated during the World Cup 77 following an orange revolution. Basically, what I'm doing is that all my monarchic nations are going to become republics and they will all eventually merge together to form a union of socialist republics.

Channel 5 news

News Presenter: Breaking News!!! King Gustav XI is addressing the nation, so we're going live from the Royal Palace!

King Gustav XI: Dear people of Botten, I hope you're doing great? Today is a sad day for my family and me but a really good day for you, the people. I recently made the most difficult decision in my life. Botten is a constitutionnal monarchy and despite I don't have a lot of power, I'm still the ruler. Well I was the ruler because I'm stepping down. In the past few days I was working on a new constitution with my younger brother Olaf and our prime minister Emilia Sundin. The new constitution for Botten will be available online shortly, but basically it says that Botten isn't a constitutionnal monarchy anymore. Also we've translated the name Botten in English. The Kingdom of Botten no longer exists, welcome to the Republic of Bothnia! Monarchy no longer exist in Botten or Bothnia, i'm now a simple citizen like you, like everyone else and guess what? I have to find a job now that I'm no longer a king. And let me introduce you to the 1st president of the Republic of Bothnia. Please welcome Emilia Sundin! Yep with the constitution changes, she has been upgraded from prime minister to president!

President Emilia Sundin: Thank you Gustav, you have been a great king, and, you know, you can run in my party for the next elections, you'd be a good vice-president. Well, today is a great day for Bothnia: monarchy no longer exist and we, the people, are in power. There won't be a lot of change to Bothnia, the only change is that we have now a president instead of a king and a prime minister. Botten was a constitutionnal monarchy and King Gustav wasn't deciding anything so nothing else need to be changed. Presidential elections will be every 4 years and no more than two mandates for the president. I'm the prime minister since 2 years, so the first elections will be in no more than 2 years. Well, that's all I wanted to say, so I hope you're all enjoying your day!

King Gustav XI: Thank you Emilia, you'll be a great president, I know it. And thanks everyone for watching my royal address to the nation.

Channel 5 news presenter: Wow I'm speechless. Let's go to a commercial break and then we'll analyyse this. I'm shocked, we're not a kingdom anymore.

[Neu Engollon]

“Good evening, Neu Engollon and to our International viewers. You’re watching the NETV 7 Sports Update. I’m Karl Demais, and my co-host, Magda Wertauer has thrown in the towel on this event. She is on board a flight right now back to Burgunden to cover the end of the AVBF rugby sevens.
We’re coming to you live from the Ironbound Colosseum in Longview, Valanora, where the Ibex are still competing in the 32nd World Cup of Hockey.

Coming on the heels of the defeat to Novaya Zemlya, the Ibex went into their second group game fighting, but ultimately ended up tying against Chromatika four all.

I'm not going to mince words here. Things are looking rather bleak for the Neu Engollian national team at the Cup. In order for them to pull out an advance from the group stage, they need to win the rest of their games as well as for the current group leaders to lose all theirs. Stranger things have happened, and they might actually be able to clinch the Botten match, but as for beating Aquitayne? We might need to start talking miracles here.

The great domestic focus experiment may have just shown its major failings, but despite what the fans and Ministry of Athletics might want, the blame can't all be thrown at the new management's feet. No, the Ibex are an experienced team and have persevered through much worse with shaker leadership. That they haven't been able to pull this one out begs the question: Were all the seasoned vets planning their retirement just a season too late in their plans? I certainly don't want to think that the old timers have lost their edge, but after these first two performances on the ice, you have to wonder...No matter what, this is going to signal a return to the drawing board for the Ibex. We'll look at the game play by play when we return from this sponsor break..."

[Esparmuran]

Espars suffer horrid, embarrassing tie against goats

5.50 k.

National Herald/nationale Herolden - A Commonwealth of Crowns Herald Affiliate

---

Olaf Skovgaard

Ianisle, Valanora

Remember Valanora last tournament, who had many surprised as they had a relatively lackluster group stage before proving their doubters wrong by making it to the finals (and beating us in the process)? Let's just hope that's us this time.

Because we lost to a bunch of goats.

We. Lost. To. Hockey. Playing. Goats.

Okay okay, so we didn't lose per se, but it sure as hell felt like one. Sure, you can argue Norrhavn is a pretty decent team, and sure it isn't too difficult to think they have a chance at tying against us... but goats?

God, I don't even want to talk about this game. Esparmuran has become an absolute laughing stock in the World Cup of Hockey. An unranked team (OF GOOATSS) managed to somehow tie against what is supposed to be the third greatest ice hockey team in the multiverse. How?

Overconfidence, that's how. While a tie against Norrhavn is nothing to be happy about, the Espars knew the game against Solitary Goats was going to be a breeze. In fact, they were so confident that the first period saw the Espars simply used the 20 minutes as a practice session, skating around the rink, shooting the puck at the boards while the goats stumbled around the rink with specially made skates and hockey sticks in mouths, occasionally falling over. With two minutes remaining in the first, the puck accidentally slid into the Goats net, with the goalie goat attempting to eat a slab of ice. 1-0 Esparmuran. The goal was awarded to a slightly bewildered Troels Carlsen, who touched the puck last.

In the second period, it was more of the same. The Espars passed the puck around, the goats fell over. Eventually the team were trying to deke around the goats for fun. At this point Espar goaltender Rickey White was pulled out of the game, I suppose coach Jimi Stack figured there was no reason for him to stay in the game. Oh how wrong he'd be.

In the third, the Espars continued their little skating session. Around halfway through (I don't remember the exact time nor do I care) the period Haven Clausen blundered and accidentally put the puck into his own net due to it ricocheting off his stick. Esparmuran wasn't up for this to bite them in the ass so Clausen put it in the goats net immediately afterwards. The goalie goat didn't have much of a chance, considering its tongue was stuck to the goal post.

And then, at the very end of the period, something that will live in infamy in Esparmuran for years to come happened. A flying puck bounced off a goat into the Espar net at 0:01. The puck, shot by Devereux Bone attempting to ricochet it off the boards, hit a goat in the head and slid into the net. Everyone was silent, and that wasn't because the entire crowd had already left. With one second left in the game, Espar captain Orrell Beake was playing as a centre for the first time ever, as he wouldn't exactly have any trouble to winning the faceoff. As soon as the puck dropped, Beake fired it off towards the goat's net, but it would be all for naught. The buzzer ran before the puck went in.

The Espar team was silent and emotionless getting off the ice. There was no media scrum. The team reportedly locked themselves inside their locker room until the press left the arena.

This was the worst thing I've ever seen.

[Northern Sunrise Islands]

In a way, Eric Fahrenheit was excited.
For the first time in years, the Council of Sunrise would be called for something that wasn't just tourist stuff.
Things had been really odd the last week at the Sunrise Islands in general.
Airplanes had been having a harder time than usual to fly, trying to avoid the likes of Harpies and Dragoons that suddenly took a good part of the air to travel around.
Streets got a bit clogged up as caravans of magic families crossed over the streets looking for places to stay.
Matthew City saw literal plant-people grow from the roots of the Babylon Gardens neighborhood.
Oh, and the fact that the neighborhood was literally floating over a hole that used to be under it was somewhat fishy as well.
Reports from Carnival mentioned humanoid beings covered with a mix of leaves and fur with their feet backwards hunting a somehow beheaded Ponyta.
The streets of Thunchester weren't a whole lot normal either as a flock of birds turning into people started to pop up in almost every corner.
...And the city turning into some sort of Steampunk city doesn't exactly help things.
Mardi, being Mardi, seems to just see all of that.
It's a surprise it hasn't turned into the city from that good ol' anime Neon Genesis Esportiva, as some quickly pointed out.

The Sunrisian leaders all gathered across the table.
Eric was used to some of the traditional issues these folks would normally have.
Queen Mizzelina of Western Sunrise always liked solving things with violence.
And having her day at Porto Velho ruined by a flocking family of Fauns asking her if she didn't mind them settling a little village into her personal forest didn't exactly help things.
The Southern Sunrisian president had changed from their latest encounters, now looking like some sort of Tomb Raider wannabe.
"...What the hell happened with you?" the Northern leader asked.
She smiled. "Got this from a genie traveling from En Sabah Nur. Like it?"
"ENOUGH! I WANNA KNOW HOW THESE THINGS GOT HERE!"
A laugh could be heard from the back.
The South by Southwestern president, covered by long robes, had a loud laugh.
"None of you recall the tale of the parakeet?"

In a summer day, a stormy afternoon
And a cold night all one way.
Things will walk in another pace
To welcome it is a saving grace.
Towers will raise from the bottom of the sea
Made of sand, paper, crackers and biscuit.
In amidst of all of this
A parakeet comes in the middle of the bliss.
Pay heed to its' advice
Don't think it's just a vice.
Bad luck will follow
If one fails the words to swallow.

A gentleman, dressed in a colorful green, yellow and blue suit smiled at the door of the meeting.
"I believe you're quite familiar with my song, ladies and gentlemen."
He'd touch the ground with a long stick, eased.
"Although your land is weird, it's nothing compared to what it can be on the eyes of your brethren."

[Vilita and Turori]

AOHC V Champions

Vilita & Turori Ice Cat Things
Coaching Staff:
Head Coach: Avalan Marcraw
Assistant Coach: Colora Boharii
Style Mods: +3.14159

Goalkeepers::
[ 92 ] Tommy Finn [ - Alikki-Corra Aye-Ayes (VHL) - ]
[ 42 ] Koyo Apen [ - Turoki Islanders (VHL) - ]
[ 96 ] Fiko Oreta [ - Yeaddin HC (VHL) - ]

Defenders::
[ 37 ] Kevin Diesel [ - Vilisorma Yutzies (VHL) - ]
[ 06 ] Dolak Vintal-Morta [ - Lonngeylin Storm Surge (VHL) - ]
[ 62 ] Hluali Tiik [ - Turoki Islanders (VHL) - ]
[ 56 ] Torren Filiao [ - Lonngeylin Storm Surge (VHL) - ]
[ 51 ] Korus Korney [ - Vilisorma Yutzies (VHL) - ]
[ 45 ] Cinnami Vellamoi [ - Alikki-Corra Aye-Ayes (VHL) - ]
[ 74 ] Mike Ice [ - Vilisorma Yutzies (VHL) - ]

Left-Wingers::
[ 32 ] Cartai Chiate [ - Vilisorma Yutzies (VHL) - ]
[ 48 ] Ricky Fike [ - Alikki-Corra Aye-Ayes (VHL) - ]
[ 16 ] Vakki Cren [ - Lonngeylin Storm Surge (VHL) - ]
[ 22 ] Ieeko Nareta [ - Yeaddin HC (VHL) - ]
[ 26 ] Ippolit Entara [ - Turoki Islanders (VHL) - ]

Right-Wingers::
[ 4 ] River Suzgar [ - Alikki-Corra Aye-Ayes (VHL) - ]
[ 23 ] Eastern Raciani [ - Vilisorma Yutzies (VHL) - ]
[ 41 ] Lance Blaki [ - Alikki-Corra Aye-Ayes (VHL) - ]
[ 52 ] Malaino Oraziala [ - Yeaddin HC (VHL) - ]
[ 49 ] Ki||to Orreta [ - Turoki Islanders (VHL) - ]

Centers::
[ 88 ] Ocean Suzgar [ - Alikki-Corra Aye-Ayes (VHL) - ]
[ 15 ] Emhaoi Linaozi [ - Vilisorma Yutzies (VHL) - ]
[ 22 ] Jualiar Fichaud [ - Alikki-Corra Aye-Ayes (VHL) - ]
[ 32 ] Akitana Ruta [ - Yeaddin HC (VHL) - ]
[ 17 ] Ataris Filiac [ - Lonngeylin Storm Surge (VHL) - ]

The Vilita & Turori uniform shirts are dark blue with orange and lighter blue striping. The shoulders are Vilitan Jungle Color while the elbows are highlighted in Eelskin Brown. The numbers match the striping in the lighter shade of blue with orange trim. The two-tone helmets allow the Vilita & Turori players to stand out on the ice.

RP Permissions:
Choose my Goalscorers: Yes
Godmod my Scores: Yes
RP Injuries to my Players: Yes, Duration of Group / Current Stage only
Godmod injuries to my Players: Sure.
Hand out penalties to my players: Yes
Godmod other events: Yes

[Valanora]

Matchday 3

Group A
Cosumar 2–3 Valanora
Averyickan City 1–3 The Redvale

P Group A                                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Valanora                                     2   2  0  0    7   4  +3    4
2 Cosumar                                      3   1  1  1    7   6  +1    3
3 Tobiasia                                     2   1  0  1    7   5  +2    2
4 The Redvale                                  3   1  0  2    5   9  −4    2
5 Averyickan City                              2   0  1  1    3   5  −2    1

Group B
Savojarna 0–1 Nephara
Royal Kingdom of Quebec 3–1 Dylecte

P Group B                                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Royal Kingdom of Quebec                      2   2  0  0    6   2  +4    4
2 Qasden                                       2   1  1  0    2   0  +2    3
3 Nephara                                      2   1  1  0    1   0  +1    3
4 Savojarna                                    3   0  1  2    1   4  −3    1
5 Dylecte                                      3   0  1  2    1   5  −4    1

Group C
Neu Engollon 0–0 Aquitayne
Novaya Zemlya 2–3 Chromatika

P Group C                                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Chromatika                                   3   1  2  0   10   9  +1    4
2 Botten                                       2   1  1  0    6   4  +2    3
3 Novaya Zemlya                                2   1  0  1    5   3  +2    2
4 Neu Engollon                                 3   0  2  1    4   7  −3    2
5 Aquitayne                                    2   0  1  1    1   3  −2    1

Group D
Elejamie 3–3 Tomikosan
Natanians and Nosts 2–3 Anthor

P Group D                                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Elejamie                                     3   2  1  0   12   6  +6    5
2 Anthor                                       3   2  0  1    7   5  +2    4
3 Free Republics                               2   1  0  1    1   2  −1    2
4 Tomikosan                                    2   0  1  1    3   4  −1    1
5 Natanians and Nosts                          2   0  0  2    3   9  −6    0

Group E
United Bermuda 3–2 Solitary Goats
Vilita and Turori 4–5 Norrehavn

P Group E                                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Norrehavn                                    3   1  2  0    8   7  +1    4
2 United Bermuda                               3   1  1  1    3   4  −1    3
3 Vilita and Turori                            2   1  0  1    6   5  +1    2
4 Esparmuran                                   2   0  2  0    5   5   0    2
5 Solitary Goats                               2   0  1  1    4   5  −1    1

Group F
Devonta 1–0 Lorenthia
Sontarion 2–5 Abanhfleft

P Group F                                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Abanhfleft                                   3   3  0  0    9   4  +5    6
2 Devonta                                      3   2  0  1    4   1  +3    4
3 Mercedini                                    2   0  1  1    2   3  −1    1
4 Lorenthia                                    2   0  1  1    0   1  −1    1
5 Sontarion                                    2   0  0  2    2   8  −6    0

Group G
Gregoryisgodistan 1–0 Unified Sunrise Islands
General Dicking Around 0–1 Cosneolta

P Group G                                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Gregoryisgodistan                            3   2  1  0    5   0  +5    5
2 Cosneolta                                    3   2  1  0    2   0  +2    5
3 Prusy Krolewskie                             2   0  1  1    0   1  −1    1
  Unified Sunrise Islands                      2   0  1  1    0   1  −1    1
5 General Dicking Around                       2   0  0  2    0   5  −5    0

Group H
Ilyseum 1–0 Lisander
Nova Anglicana 5–2 Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkunland

P Group H                                    Pld   W  D  L   GF  GA  GD  Pts 
1 Nova Anglicana                               2   2  0  0    6   2  +4    4
2 Kaboomlandia                                 2   2  0  0    8   4  +4    4
3 Ilyseum                                      3   2  0  1    6   3  +3    4
4 Lisander                                     2   0  0  2    4   6  −2    0
5 Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkunland      3   0  0  3    4  13  −9    0

[Novaya Zemlya]

THE BOARD MEETING

Miron Telitsyn, president of the Novozemlyan hockey federation, stood infront of the mirror in his fancy hotel room in Longview. He made a clumsy attempt to fix his tie. He hated ties. He sighed, today was going to be a rough day. The loss against Chromatika yesterday was disappointing enough on its own, but he had even bigger problems to deal with. Dark forces were in motion. Last night, in the middle of his third vodka on the rocks from the mini bar, someone from the Ministry of Sports called him and "strongly advised" the hockey federation to address the "Bobr issue". He knew they meant business, because the people at the ministry rarely lifted a finger unless they absolutely had to. It worried him.

Miron Telitsyn stepped into the conference room at the hotel. Eleven well-fed federation bureaucrats and their eleven secretaries were seated around the table. Telitsyn wondered why all these people had to fly with the national team around the world. It was a complete waste of money. He recognized Svetlana, the "infrastructure manager" who was in charge of fax machines and rental cars at the headquarters in Belushya Guba. She was a former local politician from Sakhaninsk who had been dismissed after a corruption affair. It was almost comical how she fit the stereotype to a tee - it was this exact kind of people who ended up in comfortable offices at the hockey federation. God forbid we hired someone with a hockey background, Telitsyn thought to himself. Sergey was also there. Telitsyn could not recall what Sergey's supposed job title was. It did not matter. Everybody knew he was actually an intelligence service officer whose real job was to oversee that nobody deviated from the correct political line of the Party.

Welcome comrades, we have gathered to discuss some of the recent comments by head coach Bogdan Bobr in an interview with the Journal. Comrade Bobr demonstrated an exceptional lack of judgement and refered to leading members of the Party as "dimwits" and "imcompetent morons". Our comrades in the Ministry of Sports contacted me last night and voiced their concerns. They expect us to address the situation in some way. Thoughts?

Vladan Kosorukov cleared his throat. Telitsyn knew exactly what he was going to say. Kosorukov was one of the hardliners. He used to advocate throwing the foreign teams, players, broadcasters and corporate sponsors out of the Novaya Zemlya Elite League, ranting about "sneaking restoration of capitalism". He was such an idiot. And the worst part? He was not alone.

Taking last night's turd against Chromatika into account, I think the time has come to fire Bogdan Bobr. I hear the salt mine in Karelka is looking to hire... Look, I aprreciate what Bobr has done for Novozemlyan hockey but this has gone on for far too long. He has repeatedly smeared our glorious Party of Labour, the revolutionary beacon of oppressed people all over the world. We need to put the foot down, or we will appear weak. Wait until they lose another game - and then BOOM.

Telitsyn sighed. He hoped one of the more reasonable people at the table would speak up and explain to Kosorukov that he was an idiot, but everyone sat in silence. Telitsyn looked at them. They were nervous, not knowing which way to lean. Pathetic. Apparently he had to do it himself. You are all useless, a waste of skin, Telitsyn thought to himself.

With all due respect, comrade Kosorukov, I think we all know firing Bogdan Bobr is not an option. At all. For one thing, sacking the coach mid-tournament would probably mean we can kiss our Cup chances goodbye. It would be monumentally stupid. More importantly, Bogdan Bobr is a living legend, a true hero of the people. Firing him would cause massive protests and could lead to widespread civil unrest. I am serious, it could in fact jeopardize the stability of our republic. Besides, if there is one coach who can win us a World Cup of Hockey, it is Bobr. Now THAT would bring glory to the Party of Labour, no? So I ask again, how do we address this situation?

He was so tired. For years he had worked hard to modernize Novozemlyan hockey, and while he had come a long way, it had always been an uphill battle. He looked around the table. There were a few he considered allies, who shared his vision. Damir Yumatov, head of the infamous PR department, was one. Too bad he sucked at his job. In fairness, competent marketing people were few and far between in Novaya Zemlya. Then again, who needs marketing when there is only one kind of toothpaste or one kind of cheese available? Anyway, Telitsyn decided to ask Yumatov to chime in.

Comrade Yumatov?

Yeah. It is no secret that I am not Bobr's biggest fan. I mean, the man threw a freaking chair at me the other day! But we need to look at the bigger picture here. Having a public figure criticize the government in state-owned media can actually paint us in a positive light. You know, the whole freedom of speech thing they care about abroad. Plus, I am sure the Party is well aware of how much a WCoH title would mean in terms of international prestige, and if Bobr is the best man for that job, well, what can you do?

Telitsyn was pleased. Yumatov knew f**k all about hockey, but he sure could be useful at times. He looked around the table again. A bunch of poker faces. These individuals were battle-scarred bureaucrat veterans, apparatchiks down to the bone. They knew all the code words, and they were experts at figuring out what opinion to have and who to agree with in order to further their own agenda. An agenda that had little to do with hockey, and everything to do with promoting their own careers without provoking the wrong people. Right now, it was obvious none of them knew quite what to think. This was something new - the Party would usually let the hockey federation take care of its own business, but now it appeared the Party and the federation president were at odds with each other. The air in the conference room was thick with anxiety.

Rodion Siyanko finally broke the silence. Siyanko was a bland, greyhared official known for his blatant favoritism towards Torpedo on all matters regarding domestic hockey and came from a failed career in the Ministry of Defense. While he was talking, he carefully watched Sergey's facial expressions. The intelligence officer's eyebrows would often indicate whether the Party could tolerate what was being said or not.

How about... you talk to Bobr, comrade Telitsyn... and then we report upstairs that coach Bobr received a reprimand... and committed self-criticism... and deeply regrets his comments?

The eyebrows seemed to approve, and Siyanko let out a sigh of relief. The rest of the people around the table suddenly started nodding in agreement, as if Siyanko had just said what they all had been thinking the whole time. Wankers, Telitsyn thought to himself. He knew the scales could have just as easily tipped the opposite way, if not for a slight movement of an eyebrow. Bobr could have been on his way to the salt mine. And the players? Most likely, they would have walked out mid-tournament and gone home. It would have been a complete disaster, and he, Miron Telitsyn, would have been in the middle of it. He suddenly recalled how his predecessor disappeared after the WCoH 25 fiasco. Jesus. Things were different back then, but still... And who knows what could have happened at home? Protests, riots, martial law? He shuddered. Tried to put his game face back on.

Okay, it seems we have an agreement. I will have a talk with comrade Bobr, and hopefully we can all focus on more important matters from now on. Let's hope the team can start winning again and this will all be forgotten in a few days. The meeting is ajourned, now get the f**k out of here. Comrades.

He just could not help the snappy tone, but nobody seemed to take notice. It was important to show who's boss anyway. The slightest sign of weakness could cause the sharks to start circling. The eleven bureaucrats and their eleven secretaries gathered their papers and walked out of the room. Telitsyn kicked his feet up on the table and looked at the ceiling. He closed his eyes, mumbling profanities in Gusinayan, his mother tongue. That was close, he thought to himself. It could have all gone to hell. He sighed. He was so tired.

[Savojarna]

SavojarSports.sj - inside reports from all Savojarna
Yet another "honourable defeat" for Rundblad's boys

Stormguard, VAL - While Savojarna's warriors did have a reputation as brutal conquerors that eventually earned them their names, and the territory of Russica Savojar, our Gods always honoured a good fight more than victory. But it also had been our ancestor's belief that the good fighters would be rewarded eventually. It turned out today that "eventually" does certainly not mean "at the 32nd World Cup of Hockey". The team that had pushed the Quebecois to the edge of defeat and followed up with sixty minutes of domination against Dylecte, yet couldn't score a goal, got shut out by Nephara again. A lone second-period goal by Adrienne Carradine decided the match in favour of the world's number 11. It remains unclear right now whether the team will be the same for the final match against Qasden, which now becomes a relatively worthless affair serving for nothing more than accumulating points for the international hockey ranking, hoping for a better draw next year. It also remains unclear whether Fredrik Rundblad will remain in charge of the national team. A change in coaching will have to be considered given the failure to score more than one goal in three games, which indicates that there are deeper problems underlying Rundblad's squad. There is no reason for the Savojar to question his strategy in defense when there had only been four goals conceded, one of them an empty-netter by Quebec. But the failure of players like Rasnikov and Hjalmarsson to score a single goal is worrying.

In the game against Nephara, our biggest fear had been that the Gulls would kick our players straight off the ice with their physicality and superior strength. But what happened instead was that the game was essentially shut down by both sides and the Savojar defense managed again to push off their forwards, like they did against Dylecte. Keeping the game to the border and dominating the slot proved very successful and provoked the Nepharim to multiple rough actions, which, unfortunately, the referees did not punish strictly enough. Savojarna temporarily lost Yarchenko after he was checked head first into the boards by enforcer Corren Brighton after fourteen minutes. While Brighton had only received a minor penalty for boarding, the Savojar lost Hendersen for 2+2 minutes (along with Brighton's second minor, all for roughing) so that the play continued with 5 a side. The protection the players received from the refs was minimal, and multiple players complained after the game about non-penalised slashes and checks. Similar problems stood before the goal of the Nepharim. Six minutes into the second period, Vasilyev was ejected for a slash in the slot. However, what the referee ignored was the two cross-checks of Rolf Chiswright into the back of Vasilyev that preceded it. In the following powerplay, a shot by Tsicaderis rebounded off Hoyman and could be shot into the now open net by Carradine.

The Savojar fought back as hard as they could and were never afraid of doing the work in front of the net, in the corners and behind the goal. They had one last big disagreement with the ref in the last period, when they were fighting like never before for their life in the WCoH. And then, four minutes before the end, we seemed to have been saved by the Gods when Yurkin and Djurberg created havoc and chaos in front of the net and Glukov slapped the puck onto Tsatsimas. Suddenly, the lights went on and the puck laid in the net, seemingly indicating the equaliser. But then, the referees went to review the goal and concluded that Frans Djurberg had interfered with the goalie. While the contact is undeniable, TV replays showed very clearly that Djurberg had been checked onto the opponent by a defender. Not only did the referees not credit the goal, they also sent off Yurkin when he had pushed Chaucer away from his linemate after he fell onto the goaltender. His reaction was understandably not very happy, which the ref honoured with a disciplinary penalty. With one man down in the last minutes of the game, Savojarna had very little chance to rectify the result and save their WCoH campaign. It was further communicated that Yarchenko had injured his jaw. While he was able to return with a full visor and some cautionary advices in the third period, it is largely expected that Partizan's Denis Antonov will play in the final game. Similarly, many fans expect Rundblad to give Andrey Strakhov or Petter Malmström an appearance in the Qasden match.

After the game, the players of Savojarna fumed justifiably at a feeling of not being sufficiently protected by referees again, as they claimed against Dylecte. Yurkin just shouted at our reporter, complaining about an unnecessarily rough play of the opponent and a "plot against the new guys" before breaking his stick over the boards. He then was taken away by two SHFB communications people, who presented us with a more civil Rundblad instead. Fredrik Rundblad refrained from criticising the referee's performance with the exception of the disallowed goal, where he argued that "there should be more common sense applied to the rulebook". He as well was quickly removed from our reach by the PR department, even though that was more subtle. It seemed that the SHFB wanted to avoid confrontation with the international authorities or with Nephara by accusing either of conspiracy or a lucky win.

In the second game of the night, the RK of Quebec safely beat Dylecte 1-3. This means that going into the final game of the Campaign, Savojarna is fourth in Group B. With a victory against Qasden, there would be some final hope for us to get ahead of them and finish the group in third position, even though such an outcome is highly unlikely. It is, however, entirely impossible to reach the second place required for qualifying for the KO round.

Savojarna 0-1 Nephara (0-0, 0-1, 0-0)

GOALS: 28' Carradine 0-1 (Tsicaderis, Devante/Penalty Vasilyev).
PENALTIES: 9x 2 min + 10 min (Yurkin) Savojarna; 6x 2 min Nephara
SHOTS: Savojarna 26 - 28 Nephara
REMARKS: 56' Goal for Savojarna disallowed (goaltender interference)

THREE STARS: *** NPH #1 Angelos TSATSIMAS (100%/26 svs) -- ** SVJ #30 Niklas HOYMAN (96.43%/27 svs) -- * NPH #5 Adrienne CARRADINE (1 G/0 A)

[Northern Sunrise Islands]

"YOU! YOU AND YOUR FREAKS!" Queen Mizzellina bolted from her seat, pointing a finger to the 'Parakeet'. "I'M TIRED OF YOU!" She tried delivering a punch towards the being.
The Parakeet swifly turned into a proper parakeet and flew away from her reach. He stood on top the table as his human form, smiling. "It appears we had some technical problems down there. Do you reckon we're playing here?"
He leaped over, smiling, now standing in front of the raging Western Queen. "You're a bit angry, young Queen of the Jolteons. Is it true that the anger of a Western Queen lasts eons?"
"Stop." the Northern leader said. "Although I'd love to beat someone up, the Parakeet knows what's going on."
"The leader that all love, beats people and dishes pain." The Parakeet smiled. "You're wise on your choice, young leader of men."
"...That's not accurate, but I do like it." Eric nodded. "So... Explain."

My people is different, unique and special.
We search for a land to call our own,
A land that is wise and its' sun teretial.
There are many places we've walked over the night,
But not good enough to answer our plight.
We promise not to bring disaster,
Although we prefer not to refer to you as our master.
If you accept our request, we will not disappoint,
Making your land the best shall be our focal point.

"..."
The Council of Sunrise looked at each other, until the Northener shrugged.
"Say, if you mess around, are we allowed to whoop your ass?"
The Western Queen had a gleeful look on her face upon hearing it. "YEAH! LET'S BEAT THEM ALL UP!"
The Parakeet waved his stick around, laughing.
"Relax your mind, leaders of men. I promise that your people will not be harmed by mine, you have to trust me then."
They ended up voting.
Queen Mizzellina was the exception of the vote, as they looked enthusiastically to what this would entice.

---

The Sunrisian hockey team faced the Gregoryisgodistani side in one of those weird hockey games one eventually has to go through.
The Gregorian team was... well... they hit like a bloody moving wall with all the cylinders on.
Although the forwards weren't very good, their defense line was a nightmare for the likes of Sharp and Jørgensen.
Plus, the whole "having killed people in the past" seemed like the worst sort of people to try to get past.
"Who pick these teams?" asked Maryse Lemaître as she watched the lack of Sunrisian fans.

Eventually, the team from South Esportiva scored a single goal to get the W.
The manager sighed.
He would have to figure out a way to outcome those opponents later.
For now... Briain wondered how much those cyborg implants would cost.

[Prusy Krolewskie]

A conversation between Pruski hockey players

Krzysztof Wdowiak: Well how do we prepare for a game against Gregoryisgodistan?

Stanislaw Wojciechowski: Maybe we should start writing our will?

Zdzislaw Przybylski: It's not funny at all. They're always killing players or referrees.

Stanislaw: They kill more referrees than players, I think we'll be ok. We'll be in pain after the game but we'll still be alive I think.

Wolfgang Wozniakowski: Luckily this year they still haven't killed a referree after 3 games.

Krzysztof: Really?

Wolfgang: Yep. They didn't crush any fans in the stands too.

Zdzislaw: Wow, what happened to them?

Stanislaw: It seems they don't play with the same passion as they used to.

Krzysztof: Or maybe they were on steroids and they aren't anymore this year?

Zdzislaw: Thank God, we'll have less scoring and less crushing against us!

Wolfgang: By God you mean God or Lord Almighty Gregory?

Zdzislaw: God, of course. Gregory whatever isn't a god!

Stanislaw: Hey I just got a text message from coach Otto Klötzer

Wolfgang: Same here!

Krzysztof: Here's what he says: "good eevning! ive made sum chnges in the linup. so we play against gregpoopteam so ive decided 2 bench emilia n melania u well watch the game from the priss box n so ive modified our lines well 1st line is sebastian zofia n slawomir 2nd line is czeslaw arkadiuz n jaroslaw 3rd line is kzysztoff max n pawel n finally 4ht line is zdzislaw domenik jaroszewski n radoslaw laszkiewicz. radoslaw u ell play at left wing. no chnge wiff the dmen lol"

Zdzislaw: Damn, he should learn how to write!

Wolfgang: Yeah, my eyes bleed!

Stanislaw: Let's NOT tell one of Greg's grammar enforcers about it.

Krzysztof: Luckily they don't have one on the hockey team.

Zdzislaw: Well it's time to sleep. Good night.

Stanislaw: Good night

Krzysztof: Nite

Wolfgang: Zzzzz

[Kaboomlandia]

Inside the Game: Mikael Samsonov

One of the most intriguing parts of the Kaboomlandian World Cup of Hockey cycle has been right winger Mikael Samsonov. First off, his Slavic name seems completely out of place among the more American names of his teammates on the Phoenix. Second off, nobody had ever heard of him before the team was announced. His official biography on the team preview released was vague, but strangely gave his birthplace as "Aarholm, Kaboomlandia" - a city that is located in the breakaway Republic of Kaboomlandia. Yet the six-foot, 204-pound right winger has become one of the best players on the team through this World Cup of Hockey, with two goals on the tournament including the game-winning goal against Lisander in an exciting 5-4 victory. One of our reporters, Dan Traywick, caught up with him today to have a little chat.

Dan Traywick: So, Mikael, you're one of the most mysterious players on the team. Why don't you tell us a bit about yourself?

Mikael Samsonov: Absolutely. I was born and grew up in Aarholm, which was part of Kaboomlandia at the time but is now the capital of the Republic of Kaboomlandia. I grew up playing hockey there. The quality of the leagues weren't bad - Kaboomlandia is hockey-mad and this extended to the Kaboomlandian Foreign Territory. When the Republic declared independence, they stopped focusing so much on hockey as much as soccer, so I decided to move to Kaboomlandia to continue my career. This is my first season in the KIHL so I don't know too many people outside of Ralia, where I play. Unfortunately, my family couldn't afford to go with me, but luckily there's still videoconferences with them daily.

DT: How has Kaboomlandia been for you?

MS: I heard the stories from the central government about how there was political unrest, and there were a few protests after the Republic declared independence, but I haven't seen anything too nasty. Daily life isn't too bad for me, the arena is definitely my home. I came here to play hockey, and that's what I enjoy. I like taking walks around Ralia, it's a beautiful port city that's worth living in.

DT: What's your experience in Valanora been like so far?

MS: I've really enjoyed it so far, the guys have been really good. Even playing on the fourth line is good because you don't have to face the opponent's top shutdown guys. Wade and Leland have been really fun to play with too. Obviously my favourite moment was that breakaway goal against Lisander, but the tip against that nation with the really long name was cool as well.

DT: If you had a do-over, would you still move to Kaboomlandia to play hockey?

MS: Completely. Being here's allowed me to pursue my dream to play professional ice hockey in the best league in the country, and even though I can't have my family with me, technology allows me to stay with them, and both Ralia and the Phoenix are families to me, to tell you the truth. I'd do it again, every time.

DT: Thanks for doing this, Mikael. Good luck the rest of the way.

MS: No problem, it was my pleasure.

The Phoenix will play Ilyseum in their next game before closing out the group stage with a highly touted match against Nova Anglicana.

[Abanhfleft]

Lex Talionis, Part Thirty

“The Raider Cove”
Headquarters of the Corsairs Motorcycle Club
Somewhere west of Riuwiee, Abanhfleft

Things had come to a head between the Huns and the Corsairs after the former had kidnapped one of the Crows responsible for helping out the Corsairs in the war between the Crows and the Huesca Cartel. The Corsairs had been the ones to draw first blood in this so-called “phase two” of the gang war between the Riuwiee-based cartel and the Otavice-based paramilitary gang by attacking a local Huesca clubhouse and crucifying a high-ranking member of the cartel, but once the Huns got involved in the war, things took a turn for the worse for the Corsairs, who had been rising through the ranks of the local underworld before they made the mistake of getting mixed up in the war. First, the Huns retook some turf which they had been forced to surrender to the Corsairs during the latter’s “era of aggressive expansion” last year, and then the Huns boldly went into actual and solid Corsair turf and kicked out the Wannabe presence in the said neighborhoods. During that time, the Huns got their hands on Francisco “Isko” Riviero, a former Hun who had gone off with the Corsairs’ leader, Jose Sorondo, to found the new and fledgling club after Sorondo had been kicked out of the Huns. As penalty for his turning his back on the Hun brotherhood, Riviero was executed, pulled apart and dismembered by four other bikers. After that, the Huns got their hands on Darko Jelacic, a Crow in Riuwiee assisting the Corsairs in logistics and supplies, and turned him over to the Huescas, who gave him the full crucifixion treatment, complete with a reenactment of the Passion of the Christ.

The Huns fully expected the Corsairs to hit back against them after those two events, and especially after their affiliate gang The Hand of Riuwiee decided that it was time for them to get out of the Corsair banner. The Huns had been involved in helping those Hands who had decided that loyalty to the city’s status quo trumped that of their new overseers to overthrow the Corsair presence in their turf and get rid of those misguided assholes who thought that partnership with the Corsairs and their outside sources was actually a good thing. It was actually surprising to the Huns that the authorities hadn’t clamped down on their little side war with the loyalist Hands against the pro-Corsair Hands, but at least the Hands were back with the real program of maintaining Riuwiee’s status quo at least until Rako Novoire finished his term as president. Of course, the victory had come at a price to the Hands: in exchange for the help that the Huns provided them, and because the Hands had been severely depleted by this episode of infighting between them, the Hand of Riuwiee would now have to rely on the Huns for both protection and support. It was a heavy price to pay, but it had to be paid nonetheless.

But, over the last few days, things have indeed gone quiet, not just between the Huns and the Corsairs, but also between the Huescas and the Crows. Hun scouting parties penetrating Corsair turf had come back with reports saying that there were simply no longer any Corsairs in the area. Naturally, none of the high-ranking Huns really took these reports at face value. The Corsairs had to be up to something, they decided. Were the Wannabes planning to lure out the Huns in one massive ambush to end this clash once and for all? After a few more days of probing and waiting, there was eventually only one way to find out.

To prepare for the worst, the Doctor, the Huns’ international president, had called for a “Hun Run,” a congregation of every member of the motorcycle club at a place decided by the club’s international president, in this case the Doctor. Hun Runs were usually held annually and somewhere far away from the congestion of cities like Riuwiee, but special circumstances called for special measures, and the Hun Run which the Doctor had called tonight was only for every Hun in Riuwiee along with some backup from neighboring islands such as Releinthi, Calfragilis, Bendy Benny, and Wanda Island. Over two hundred black motorcycles congregated in Barangay Cabron Admiral, the headquarters of the Huns, in preparation for this particular Hun Run.

Chapter presidents made their way towards the center of the congregation in which could be found six of the most powerful Huns in the country: the Doctor, as international president, stood in the center of the little group. His five trusted members, all chapter presidents of their own, surrounded him: the Witch, Stick-O, Joker, Crossword, and Attila. “I bet you’re all wondering what we’re doing here, brothers and sisters,” the Doctor said, addressing the gathering crowd of bikers. “Some of you will remember the last time that an international president has called for a Hun Run outside of the annual gathering, but most of us will not have been members yet during that time. Suffice it to say that the reasons why I have called for a Hun Run tonight is much the same reason why a non-annual Hun Run was called all those years ago.

“As you all know, brothers and sisters, we are in the midst of a big gang war,” the Doctor continued. “We have been dragged into the war between the Huesca Cartel and the Crows of Anglatia due to the fact that the Crows have dragged their own biker gang, the Corsairs or the Wannabes as we like to call them, into this war to fight their battles for them in this beloved city of ours. The Huesca Cartel believes that it takes a biker to bring down a biker, and while we all know that the Wannabes are not bikers, the principle of the statement rings true nevertheless. We’ve let the Wannabes run around for too long, and we have gladly taken the opportunity offered to us by the Huescas to put those wank-stains in their proper place. But now we come upon the same dilemma faced by our brothers almost fifty years before, in the days when they were still trying to exert their influence on this city, our city, mind you. Fifty years ago, the first Huns faced the impossible task of carving out their own slice of Riuwiee. They decided that the only way to prove themselves to the rest of the city’s gangs is a show of force, a Hun Run like we are about to do right now. Our brothers, the first Huns, came out in force and showed the rest of Riuwiee that we are a force to be reckoned with. They took their losses, but because they all came out in force, they were still standing at the end and had carved out their own slice of Riuwiee and had showed to the rest of the city that the Huns are there to stay.

“Now, we’re about to show our enemies the strength of our forces again, but for different reasons,” the Doctor continued. “We’re going to show the Wannabes that whatever they do to us tonight, there will still be even more of us waiting to take up the fight and take the fight to them. I know that we’ve heard that there are no longer any Corsairs running around the streets of our city, but there’s no way that we’re going to take those reports at face value, which is why we’re about to go on a Hun Run towards their HQ. If they’re just hiding then they surely can’t pass up the opportunity to take out some of us, but if they’re not around anymore, then it’s win-win for all of us, isn’t it? So, what are you waiting for, you assholes? Let’s ride!”

Two hundred Huns astride two hundred stock unmodified motorcycles made their way across the city from east to west, towards the Raider Cove, the large and heavily protected mansion which served as the Corsairs’ headquarters. No one made to stop the Huns as they passed through numerous stop lights, but as they got closer to Corsair turf, some of the other members of the club began growing a little bit agitated, looking around their surroundings with a hint of trepidation. They fully expected a highly-customized bike to come roaring out of nowhere and open fire on the approaching Huns. But no such happened even as they went ever closer to the Corsairs’ turf, and soon the Huns were riding around in Wannabe territory without even the single hint of a challenge.

Soon, the Huns had gone beyond the city limits and were making their way towards the little bit of countryside on the island which hadn’t yet been urbanized by the city government. Trees and hills dotted this landscape, and human habitation was few and far between. There weren’t houses in this place but mansions, large sprawling complexes built by the rich and famous and powerful to provide them a retreat away from the hectic urban madness of Riuwiee without really putting themselves more than a quick drive away from their workplaces or government offices or wherever they were in the capital.

Masses of Huns went down a winding country road which eventually took them to a large metallic gate. Three poles stood tall in the courtyard, which was curiously empty, and flags hung limply from the poles, as if they couldn’t even be bothered to flutter in the slight breeze. As the Huns surrounded the mansion, the Doctor brought his bike to a stop in front of the metal gates leading to the mansion and got off, immediately followed by his inner circle. The Doctor stood right in the middle of the road leading to the gate, with Attila and the Witch flanking him. “Jose Sorondo!” the Doctor shouted into the night. “So far, you’ve had us convinced that you’re not here anymore, but I’m personally inclined not to believe that until I’ve torn off every single limb from your body by myself. So enough with this hide and seek bullshit! Come out now and let’s talk about this mano y mano!”

When no one answered from what looked to be an empty mansion, the Doctor turned to his inner circle and muttered, “So they really want to make life harder for all of us? Burrito, Magnum, Mammoth, take care of the gates, will you? Everyone else, take out your guns in case this turns hot!”

Burrito, Magnum, and Mammoth had been tasked with tearing down the gates since they owned the most powerful bikes in the Huns’ arsenal. They tied off thick nylon ropes between their bikes and the gate’s iron bars, and then they revved their bikes’ engines and pulled at the gates with the full force of their rides. With an almighty crash, the gates were torn down from their mounts, leaving the Huns free to enter the inner sanctum of the Corsairs.

Bikes roared into the parking lot in front of the mansion, running in circles as they dared the Wannabes which they believed to be hiding inside the place to pop out and start shooting at them. The six presidents of the club went to the flagpoles and looked up at the flags fluttering half-heartedly in the lame breeze. “Someone get the tricolor away from the Wannabes’ flag,” the Doctor said, referring to the Fleftic flag, which was of a tricolor design with blue, orange, and green bands. Attila quickly set to work hauling down the Fleftic flag and then, with Joker’s help, reverently folding it up before stowing it in his bike. “What about the others?” Stick-O asked the Doctor.

“Leave the Anglatian flag where it is,” the Doctor replied. “There’s no reason to duly antagonize those people just yet. As for the Wannabes’ flag, burn it, tear it apart, trample it for all I care. But I want to get rid of it.”

“With pleasure, Doctor,” the Witch said with an evil grin. She and Attila set to work bringing down the Corsair flag and then, once it had touched the ground, some of the other Huns raced to get a scrap of the flag as it was quickly torn apart by the presidents and distributed to those who were lucky enough to catch the pieces.

“Still nothing, eh?” the Doctor muttered as he looked up at the cold and dark mansion. “Cowboy, Pegasus, go knock on the door, will you?” he ordered. “Maybe then we’ll finally get someone to answer.”

Cowboy and Pegasus nodded their heads and went over to their bikes to pick up something. Cowboy walked up to the doors carrying a thick short wooden rod painted black, very similar to the modern-day battering ram used by police forces to break down locked doors. Pegasus arrived at the doors carrying a few cream-colored blocks of a soft putty-like substance. Cowboy examined the doors, looking for weak points like doorknobs or hinges. Finding a spot which he liked, Cowboy stepped back and swung the battering ram against the pair of doorknobs in the middle of the doors. There was a cracking noise and a shouted curse. Cowboy now held two halves of a cracked battering ram in his hands. “The doors are fucking reinforced by something,” he told Attila, who had come to check on them on behalf of the Doctor.

“I’m willing to bet it’s by something crazy like titanium,” Pegasus said as he pawed around the doors. “The Crows are propping up the Wannabes, yeah? And didn’t somebody say that Jugoskania’s got lots of titanium deposits or something like it? Based from what I’ve seen of these Crows, they’re more than capable of financing a pair of titanium-reinforced doors, and it looks like they’ve done much more for the Wannabes. I’m looking at this place and I’m seeing titanium everywhere I look. Those Crows really splashed some cash to make sure that the Wannabes are here to stay.”

“Speaking of here to stay, where the hell are those assholes?” Attila asked nobody in particular. “Surely they would have ambushed us by now if they’re really in there.”

“All right, Attila, there’s something which I heard from the Huescas a few days ago or so, but I haven’t confirmed it yet so don’t take it at face value,” Pegasus said as he fiddled with the cream-colored blocks in his hand, molding them into some sort of rope or string. “Apparently, the Crows are pulling back to their original turf in Jugoskania and Otavice, and it appears that they invited the Wannabes to come along with them.”

“Is that so?” Attila sneered. “What happened to always fighting to the last man and never running away from a fight?”

“Hey, they’re the ones who ran away, not us,” Pegasus muttered as he finished attaching the putty-like string around the door. “You may all want to go back for this,” he said as he held up a detonator in the palm of his hand. “Fire in the hole!” he shouted so that the others wouldn’t be surprised by what was coming.

A large explosion erupted from the doors of the Raider Cove. The putty-like string that Pegasus had attached around the doors was actually C4, and it had done the job as expected. Attila applied a foot at the still-standing doors, which eventually fell down with an almighty crash. Attila still half-expected a hail of bullets to come and sweep him away from the threshold, but still the place remained silent and empty, but it soon wasn’t empty anymore as Huns charged through the breach and into the place.

“Nice digs,” the Doctor muttered as he looked around the place.

“Yeah, for a bunch of wannabe riders,” the Witch muttered.

“Still, the Wannabes have taste,” the Doctor said as he strode towards the bar and began examining the drinks stocked on the shelves behind it. “Expensive taste, I have to say,” he added as he picked up a dusty-looking wine bottle. “I know I’m driving, but I can’t let a 2016 Piri Reis go to waste,” he muttered to himself as he uncorked the bottle and took a long swig. Soon, more Huns were raiding the bar like the Doctor. Others were going up the staircase to check out the place further. Some of them were still expecting some sort of ambush to pop up someplace, but the others had taken the merrymaking Huns at the bar as a sign that no one else was going to come to spoil this party.

Countess and Kid, the vice president and sergeant-at-arms respectively of Attila’s chapter, were the first ones on the fourth and topmost floor of the Raider Cove. Kid, shotgun in hand and in front of her, went into a room whose door had been locked before she arrived (Kid had shot out the hinges and kicked the door in). Soon, she came to realize why the door had been locked in the first place. The room that she had entered appeared to be the Corsairs’ command and control center. Maps of Abanhfleft and Riuwiee had been pinned to the walls, and color-coded Post-Its had been used to mark territory conquered and lost. And that wasn’t all. Other maps of other places, mostly Anglatia but some others which Kid couldn’t really tell, hung on the walls beside the maps of Abanhfleft and Riuwiee. Computers also lay around the room, although Kid could tell that the Corsairs had made every effort to smash them up and take out their hard drives as it became more and more apparent that the Corsairs had left in a hurry, but not in such a hurry that whoever got to the Raider Cove first would get vital intel on the Corsairs and Crows’ future plans.

“What have you got in here, Kid?” Attila said as he entered the room, followed by Countess. He then saw the maps tacked around the place and muttered, “Hot damn.”

“Hey Attila, Countess, do you know what place this is?” Kid asked, pulling down a map of a large island which she had seen barely hanging on for dear life from a single thumbtack after having been roughly pulled away from the wall in an attempt to get rid of it. The Corsairs must have been running on a tight schedule if they didn’t really tear away this particular map after making the effort to remove it from the wall.

Attila picked up the map and cast a critical eye over it. “I think it’s a map of Patierre,” he said. “You know, that colony of Anglatia which they used as a casus belli to get involved in Pridnestrovia’s invasion of Nordskania. I think I know why they tried to take it with them,” Attila muttered as he stumbled upon a light bulb moment. “The Corsairs don’t care if we find the turf that they and the Corsairs have got here and in Anglatia, but somehow they don’t want us to find out about their plans for Patierre. Shit, there might be other clues in these maps as well. We’ll need to take all these and everything else they have with us. They’re really going to love this.”

“The Huescas, you mean?” Countess asked.

“Yeah, them,” Attila said with a quick nod, and then he went out of the room to tell the others of the intelligence gold mine that they had discovered.

After the Huns had cleared out the maps from the command and control room and the alcoholic drinks from the bar (the Doctor took the lion’s share, citing his position of international president as the reason why), there was only one thing left for them to do. “Torch the place,” the Doctor said. “Rid Riuwiee of this aberration, this abomination of a clubhouse.”

The Huns were only more than glad to oblige. While many of the Huns were busy looting the place, others were busy splashing gasoline and alcohol and other flammable liquids in and around the Raider Cove. As the last of the Huns got out of the Raider Cove, a small group of bikers armed with Molotov cocktails (wine and beer bottles filled with gas or alcohol and corked with a lit rag soaked in the same fuel loaded into the bottles) readied their bombs and then launched it into the gaping hole where the titanium-backed doors of the Raider Cove once stood. The bottles broke on the floor of the place, and the flaming rags ignited the vapors emanating from the gas and alcohol poured all over the place, and the Raider Cove was soon up in flames.

“Good riddance,” the Doctor muttered, and then he put on his helmet and followed the other Huns out of the parking lot in front of the mansion as they rode away from the now-burning Raider Cove.

[Vilita and Turori]

Ice-Cat Things downed by Norrehaven


Vilita and Turori were defeated 4-5 by Norrehaven in a matchup that was a thrill for the fans in attendance - until of course the very end if you were a fan of Vilita & Turori.

The Ice-Cat Things, Vilita & Turori's original joint effort squad are still chasing that elusive first World Cup of Hockey title and things aren't getting any easier with the defeat to the tournaments 27th ranked team.

Perhaps the team came out a little flat against Norrehaven after enduring an off-day prior to the match. Having taking control of their Matchday 1 clash with United Bermuda, netting twice and with a shutout from Fiko Oreta helping ensure the Ice-Cat things started out with the win. Then, however, there was no Vilita & Turori fixtures on Matchday 2 so as the rest of the group stayed on the Ice and continued building their momentum and camaraderie from the first set of games, Vilita & Turori were stuck with passing drills and sightseeing trips.

So when Matchday 3 came it was not completely surprising that the Ice Cat Things were a step behind there Norrehaven counterparts, conceding a goal early in the matchup and going into the first intermission down 0-1.

Things would get worse as the second period started as Norrehaven built up a 0-4 lead over Vilita & Turori prompting a change that saw Turoki Islanders goalkeeper Koyo Apen introduced into the game. It seemed to be the spark the Ice Cat Things needed as they scored 3 goals over the remainder of the period to come within one going into the third.

The first 18 minutes of the third period were relatively uneventful, no scoring, no penalties and virtually no stoppages in the play other than the odd offsides call. Apen headed to the bench with just under two-minutes to play to get the extra skater on for Vilita & Turori - but almost as quickly a turnover gave the chance for Norrehaven to ice the game which they did, increasing their advantage to 3-5.

The Ice-Cat things weren't done there, however, Pulling Apen once again and even converting with the extra attacker with 32 seconds left in the game to once again pull within a single goal. That would be the end of the scoring, however, and the Ice Cat Things fell 4-5 to Norrehaven putting a serious damper in their hopes to advance with a tough fixture against Esparmuran still to come.