Audioslavia Domestic Football Newswire

by **Audioslavia** » Fri Jul 31, 2020 12:37 pm


KT Laranjauzia 
(Luja Stadium, Laranjauzia)

1. Iker Saucedo (35, G , AUD)
2. Kemen Arenaza (31, D R, AUD)
3. Fortun Ansotegi (35, D L, AUD)
4. Estebe Antxustegi (32, DM C, AUD)
5. Edorta Mondragon (19, D C, AUD)
6. Ixaka Lizarzaburu (18, D C, AUD)
7. Inácio Castro (19, M RC, AUD)
9. Galin Alejandro (32, F C, AUD)
10. Domeka Zabala (31, M/F CR, AUD)
11. Zorian Linazasoro (25, M LC, AUD)
12. Diego Parrilla (34, M L, AUD)
13. Kieran Lorenzen (22, D L, AUD)
15. Xabat Urrestilla (22, D/M RL, AUD)
16. Nicolò Scarpaci (26, DM C, AUD)
19. Zorian Ytuarte (18, G , AUD)
20. Álvaro Valdovinos (34, F C, AUD)
21. Satordi Bastida (33, F C, AUD)
22. Michel Saint François (18, D R, AUD)
mng. Ramon Goicoechea (62, D C, AUD)

Newly promoted KT Laranjauzia are the only National League team with an all-Audioslavian line-up, and are another team who have been defying expectations this season. Favourites to go back down, the side have instead pulled themselves up to tenth place this season, with young winger Inácio Castro the highlight. They go into this week’s game hopeful of a point against reigning champions Cazadores…

Matchday 20
KT Moreazerua 0–0 Bombarralense
Oljestaden IF 2–2 1830 Cathair
KT Koroatuz 0–2 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
KT Laranjauzia 1–0 Cazadores Cathair
Shamrock Cathair 1–0 KT Itzalovalle

…and get so much more. Castro’s fifteenth minute cross finds the head of experienced striker Galin Alejandro who powers home for 1-0, and scoreline stays as such until the final whistle. Rook Cathar is furious with his side, who are looking far off the pace compared to last season.


Cazadores Cathair 
(El Ruedo, Cathair)

1. Hardcheese (34, G , DAI)
2. Jerquaad (24, D CR, DAI)
3. Aurelio Saez (30, D L, AUD)
4. Bryton Menheniot (26, DM C, APX)
5. Salvador Monterroso (28, D C, AUD)
6. Inteali Koranjo (19, D C, VIL)
7. Creidne Lindauer (28, F C, BRE)
8. Dane Pridgeon (22, M C, COS)
9. Aranha (30, F C, DAI)
10. Olimpia Vidal (27, F C, CMT)
12. Aloha (24, F C, DAI)
13. Cristos Harding (30, D C, EFL)
14. Francis Sutherland (21, M L, HVY)
15. Giorgio Gucci (24, M L, MRC)
16. Christian Armani (23, M R, MRC)
17. Guifré Menez (21, D/M R, AUD)
18. Azaim (21, M C, SHT)
19. Gaizka Etxenoz (27, M RL, AUD)
21. Mikhail Gerardo (23, F C, MRC)
22. Iago Cacho (22, DM C, AUD)
23. Theold Bracewell (29, G , NPH)
25. Jirijii Januaa (39, D LC, VIL)
28. Claudio Casimiro (17, M C, AUD)
Mng. Rook Cathar (49, F RLC, NPH)

Colours: Dark red shirts with black and gold trip, dark red / black shorts, black socks.

Audioslavian Champions: 2
Audioslavian Cup Winners: 1

Line-up

So where has it gone ‘wrong’ for Caza (for a given value of ‘wrong’, they’re firmly in contention for one of the league’s four IFCF spots)? Well, although Rook Cathar has made signings in the transfer window, the purchases have largely been to add depth to the squad. Azaim and Harding are improvements on previous backup players, but the first team remains unchanged since last season, and the rest of the league has figured out the Caza playbook by now, which Cathar has failed to update.

They were exploited by Laranjauzia last week, who shut up shop and cut off the supply line to Vidal and Lindauer. Surely this week, against bottom-of-the-league Koroatuz, they’ll fare better?

Matchday 21
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 KT Laranjauzia
Cazadores Cathair 2–2 KT Koroatuz
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–2 Oljestaden IF
1830 Cathair 3–1 KT Moreazerua
AC Izotz Zubia 3–1 Osarese Marcadia

Nope. Though Caza take the lead, two goals before half-time stun the champions and they trudge back down the tunnel to be treated, no doubt, to Cathar’s hair-dryer. Casimiro and Azaim take the field in the second half over Cacho and Menheniot, and it’s the former who supplies Olimpia Vidal with the equalizing goal. Caza go off in search of a winner that they fail to find, and the side fall into sixth place behind Oljestaden, victorious over Calcio Sicurezza Elfi.

Elsewhere, Mozi continue to struggle, dominated by 1830 Cathair. A side of Mozi’s stature should really be in the top eight, but they emphatically aren’t. You know who are?


Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 
(Stadio Oromë, Trentina)

1. Ibrahim Mathisen (33, G , VAL)
2. Pablo Maia (29, D C, AUD)
3. Naim Nabhani (31, D LC, AUD)
4. Santiago Canez (31, D/M C, AUD)
5. Gustav Marinussen (33, D CR, VAL)
6. Fredrik Pettersen (24, D C, VAL)
8. Ethan Floch (32, M C, AUD)
9. Dennis Våge (27, F C, VAL)
10. Qamar Wardak (32, F C, AUD)
11. Indra Söderström (18, M L, VAL)
12. Havelock Hennings (31, F C, AUD)
13. Elijah Magri (26, M C, AUD)
14. Fredrik Skotnes (27, M RL, VAL)
15. Karsten Carullo (30, D/M R, AUD)
16. Dylan Bain (26, D C, AUD)
17. Sergi Cambra (29, M/F C, AUD)
18. Yvete (33, M/AM C, DAI)
20. Santino Romero (32, F C, AUD)
21. Archald Aguilar (26, M C, AUD)
22. Tober Nijboer (29, G , AUD)
Mng. Axel Tufte (52, VAL)

Colours: White shirts with sky-blue trim, white shorts, black socks

Every year, pundits project CSE to go back down to the second tier, and every year they’re made to look very silly. As Sicurezza take to the field against struggling KT Moreazerua, they’re eighth in the table and just three points away from the ChC spots.

Matchday 22
Osarese Marcadia 2–0 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
KT Moreazerua 1–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Oljestaden IF 0–3 Cazadores Cathair
KT Koroatuz 0–0 KT Itzalovalle
KT Laranjauzia 1–4 Shamrock Cathair

The side more than match Mozi and are unlucky not to take victory after Hennings’s scuffed attempt at a finish in the dying moments of the game.


1830 Cathair 
(Arena Kirola, Cathair)

1. Goran Stroud (20, G , AUD)
2. Andries Nijland (29, M R, AUD)
3. Minne van Schelven (24, D C, KOR)
4. Stani Gröss (24, DM C, ZRH)
5. Jack Menard (19, D C, EUR)
6. Niko Szubanski (34, D C, BRE)
7. Steve Erickson (29, AM C, HAP)
8. Liam Armstrong (32, M C, EUR)
9. Pristina Shine (33, F C, EQS)
10. Thorsten Kramer (26, M/AM C, STL)
11. Rickson Marañón (31, AM LC, AUD)
12. Leona Rafford (31, D R, NPH)
13. Tucunduvá (35, G , DAI)
14. Aymeric Fortin (25, F C, VLD)
15. Tryfon Vlahilades (25, D L, VDR)
16. John Lomax (34, D RC, AUD)
17. Ainsley Gibson (32, D L, AFT)
19. Puristina Shinra (27, M C, HIN)
20. Dean Sharp (33, F C, EUR)
21. Shakira Handris (30, F C, PFA)
22. Alessio Roda (18, D LC, AUD)
23. Michael Jensen (20, D R, AUD)
24. Armand Cariou (16, M C, AUD)
27. Xaime Medal (22, AM L, TEQ)
Mng. Lee Sharp (70, F C, EUR)

Colours: White and blue striped shirts, white shorts, white socks

Domestic Honours:
Audioslavian Champions: 12

COCANEFA Honours:
COCANEFA Champions: 5
CopAnaia Winners: 1

International Honours:
UICA Champions Cup / IFCF Champions League: 2
UICA Super Cup / IFCF Super Cup: 2
AOCL: 1
Cup Winners’ Cup: 1
Tropicorp Super-cup: 1

Audioslavia’s most successful team, 1830 Cathair have come back stronger after their disappointing third-placed finish last cycle. Vlahilades, Fortin and van Schelven are welcome additions to the first team, while young Euran centre half Jack Menard has forced his way into the first eleven and goalkeeper Goran Stroud has proven worthy of the number one jersey foisted upon him by manager Lee Sharp.

After working hard to overcome their seven point deficit to Zozi over the course of those three games before the halfway stage, while fighting it out on the Cup Winners Cup and Champions League fronts at the same time, Cathair have to sit and watch their rivals pull ahead again, with a fallow period of three matchdays without having a ball to kick. Lee Sharp’s squad will get some well earned rest and get their calculators out. They will need to fight back all over again come the end of the season.

Matchday 23
Shamrock Cathair 5–1 KT Koroatuz
KT Itzalovalle 2–1 Oljestaden IF
Cazadores Cathair 1–2 KT Moreazerua
KT Ferramendiak 0–1 Osarese Marcadia
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 0–4 AC Izotz Zubia

Matchday 24
AC Izotz Zubia 1–1 KT Ferramendiak
Osarese Marcadia 3–1 AS Marcadia
KT Moreazerua 0–0 KT Itzalovalle
Oljestaden IF 1–2 Shamrock Cathair
KT Koroatuz 0–0 KT Laranjauzia

Matchday 25
KT Laranjauzia 1–2 Oljestaden IF
Shamrock Cathair 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Bombarralense 1–1 Osarese Marcadia
AS Marcadia 1–3 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Ferramendiak 1–1 Isle of Kjeligsted FC

The National League               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia                  18   13   3   2    38   15  +23    42
 2 1830 Cathair                    16   12   2   2    39   13  +26    38
 3 Shamrock Cathair                19   12   2   5    42   19  +23    38
 4 KT Itzalovalle                  19   10   5   4    19   14   +5    35
 5 Oljestaden IF                   20   10   2   8    33   30   +3    32
 6 Cazadores Cathair               18    9   3   6    35   23  +12    30
 7 KT Moreazerua                   20    5   7   8    16   22   −6    22
 8 Osarese Marcadia                19    6   4   9    29   41  −12    22
 9 Bombarralense                   16    5   6   5    17   21   −4    21
10 KT Ferramendiak                 17    4   6   7    24   29   −5    18
11 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi           17    5   3   9    16   22   −6    18
12 KT Laranjauzia                  19    5   3  11    15   25  −10    18
13 Isle of Kjeligsted FC           17    4   4   9    11   22  −11    16
14 KT Koroatuz                     19    2   7  10    19   40  −21    13
15 AS Marcadia                     16    2   5   9    16   33  −17    11

Six points is the gap at the top, with Cathair having two games in hand and a slightly better goal difference. Behind them, Shamrock are level on points but, having played three more games than their city rivals, have realistically fallen out of contention for now. Itzi are chugging away in fourth, with Oljestaden in the dizzying heights of fifth place largely due to the exploits of Spijkers, who has become the season’s breakout star. Caza continue to fall off the pace, but who are those teams in joint-seventh place? Despite gaining only five wins over the course of twenty games, Mozi are somehow up into the Challengers’ Cup spots, with Osarese Marcadia having turned things around just behind them, but to their rear are a train of clubs that have played fewer games and are within reach of both Mozi and OM.

At the bottom, AS Marcadia have played the fewest games, and it’s perhaps for that reason that they lie behind Koroatuz, but all the same thirteen place is looking increasingly beyond I Marchetti’s grasp.


Bombarralense 
(Estadio das Trevas, Bombarral)

1. Uolleys (30, G , DAI)
3. Muuna Kentar (36, D L, MRN)
4. Mario Valentini (36, D/DM C, AUD)
5. Szescõ Erôss (18, D C, PAS)
6. Beck Clayborn (30, D C, BRE)
7. Leon Davis (26, F C, HVY)
8. Tray Mohaupt (26, M C, SPM)
9. Jinpachi Mishima (27, G/D/DM C, HIN)
10. Martí Calderon (26, F C, TEQ)
11. Jordi Valeri (26, M LC, AUD)
12. Daczibog Ketadzic (31, D C, SRS)
13. Vanessa Way (34, D LC, BRE)
14. Cody Fraser (31, M C, AUD)
16. Maxil Girou (34, D C, MRN)
18. Victor Collar (30, F C, AUD)
19. Ambrosia Chance (35, M CL, BRE)
20. Craig Harris (22, D C, HVY)
21. Benjamin Beffa (33, F C, AUD)
23. David Africa (23, G , AUD)
Mng. Guillem Rodas (39, AUD)

Eletti Valligiani and Artiglieria are two teams that exploded up to the top flight of international football and reached UICA/IFCF football in their first season. After a few years, their exits from the top flight were similarly spectacular. Bombarralense had a similarly bombastic (if you pardon the pun) entrance in season ten, finishing seventh and pushing for an IFCF spot until the very end, and followed on with another similarly impressive seventh placed finish last season, but are wary of following the same path as EV and Artiglieria. They don’t look in danger of being relegated this season, but will need some special performances to propel themselves into the IFCF spots for the first time.

Matchday 26
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 0–0 AS Marcadia
AC Izotz Zubia 1–2 Bombarralense
Osarese Marcadia 1–4 1830 Cathair
KT Moreazerua 2–0 KT Laranjauzia
Oljestaden IF 0–0 KT Koroatuz

And how’s that for something special? Tequilo striker Marti Calderon smashes a late winner to silence the home crowd, whose lead over 1830 Cathair at the top of the table is halved. The Bombers may not be as high in the table as last season, and still have a strange little squad, but they are proving that they can be more than a match for any team on their day.

At the bottom of the league, AS Marcadia’s drab draw with Isle of Kjeligsted puts the light-blues in further trouble, and there’s more on the way for the eastern side.


AS Marcadia 
(Stadio di Via Montegrappa, Marcadia)

1. Fortune Cammers (20, G , EFL)
2. Erik Silberg (30, D R, AUD)
3. Amarzi George (24, D L, MRC)
4. Lance Bensom (23, D C, BRE)
5. Antonio Dragutin (24, D C, MRC)
6. Vega Lage (30, D/M RCL, AUD)
7. Simos Arvanitakis (20, AM RL, FHU)
8. Davide Lauri (27, M C, AUD)
9. Caceres (34, F C, DAI)
10. Menderchuk (31, F C, DAI)
11. Corey Aonen (31, F C, VLZ)
12. Giovanni Fanara (31, D C, AUD)
14. Minka Kranevitter (32, M R, NPH)
15. Adão Monserrate (34, D C, AUD)
16. Francesc Monzo (22, M LC, AUD)
17. Jarrod Di Virgilio (29, M/F RL, AUD)
18. Mattia Cicale (22, M C, AUD)
20. Salvatore Del Pozzo (36, AM LC, AUD)
21. Edoardo Del Conte (22, M C, AUD)
Mng. Mauro Bianchi (61, M CR, AUD)

Colours: Sky blue shirts with a black circle on the chest, white shorts, white socks

Audioslavian Cup Winners: 1

Matchday 27
KT Koroatuz 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–3 Osarese Marcadia
1830 Cathair 0–2 AC Izotz Zubia
Bombarralense 2–1 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
AS Marcadia 0–1 KT Ferramendiak

Marcadia are awful in defeat to KT Ferramendiak, and will have to double their win-count for the season so far in order to make up the points in their two games in hand. The strike partnership of Menderchuk and Caceres simply hasn’t been working, and Corey Aonen’s injury is preventing Mauro Bianchi from making any useful changes. The manager’s time at Marcadia will be up unless he can turn things around quickly.

Elsewhere, AC Izotz Zubia bounce back to crush 1830 Cathair at the Arena Kirola in a hugely important game at the top of the table, with Baume and Butler combining for both goals.

Matchday 28
KT Ferramendiak 0–1 Bombarralense
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 1–1 1830 Cathair
AC Izotz Zubia 2–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Osarese Marcadia 3–1 Cazadores Cathair
KT Moreazerua 4–2 Oljestaden IF

Matchday 29
KT Itzalovalle 2–2 Osarese Marcadia
Cazadores Cathair 0–1 AC Izotz Zubia
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–0 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
1830 Cathair 2–1 KT Ferramendiak
Bombarralense 2–1 AS Marcadia

Matchday 30
AS Marcadia 1–2 1830 Cathair
KT Ferramendiak 0–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 1–2 Cazadores Cathair
AC Izotz Zubia 2–2 KT Itzalovalle
Osarese Marcadia 1–4 Shamrock Cathair

The National League               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia                  23   16   4   3    46   19  +27    52
 2 1830 Cathair                    21   15   3   3    48   19  +29    48
 3 Shamrock Cathair                20   13   2   5    46   20  +26    41
 4 KT Itzalovalle                  21   10   7   4    23   18   +5    37
 5 Cazadores Cathair               21   10   3   8    38   28  +10    33
 6 Oljestaden IF                   22   10   3   9    35   34   +1    33
 7 Bombarralense                   20    9   6   5    24   24    0    33
  8 KT Moreazerua                   23    8   7   8    23   24   −1    31
 9 Osarese Marcadia                24    8   5  11    39   53  −14    29

At the top of the table, neither Cathair nor Zozi can afford any slip-ups, but both manage just seven of the possible nine points over these three games, with Cathair still feeling the pain of their derby defeat as they succumb to a dreadful 1-1 draw against Isle of Kjelisged. Zozi, three games later, are held by rivals KT Itzalovalle as their lead is reduced to just four, with Cathair having two games in hand on the men in salmon and silver.

Behind them, Shamrock and Itzi are off the pace for the title fight but are in the box seats for qualification to the Champions League, with Caza, Ojestaden and Bombarralense all on thirty-three points. Mozi and Osarese Marcadia may have played more games than most, but their form has turned around and both sides are fighting to get into contention for those Challengers’ Cup places.

Matchday 31
KT Laranjauzia 2–2 Osarese Marcadia
Shamrock Cathair 1–1 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Itzalovalle 3–0 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
Cazadores Cathair 2–1 KT Ferramendiak
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–0 AS Marcadia
1830 Cathair 5–0 Bombarralense

The National League            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia                  24   16   5   3    47   20  +27    53
 2 1830 Cathair                    22   16   3   3    53   19  +34    51
 3 Shamrock Cathair                21   13   3   5    47   21  +26    42
 4 KT Itzalovalle                  22   11   7   4    26   18   +8    40
 5 Cazadores Cathair               22   11   3   8    40   29  +11    36
 6 Oljestaden IF                   22   10   3   9    35   34   +1    33
 7 Bombarralense                   21    9   6   6    24   29   −5    33
 8 KT Moreazerua                   23    8   7   8    23   24   −1    31
 9 Osarese Marcadia                25    8   6  11    41   55  −14    30

None of the Cathair clubs are giving up just yet. Cathair obliterate Bombarralense by five goals to nil, with Thorsten Kramer scoring twice, Steve Erickson, Rickson Marañón and somehow Leona Rafford scoring the others. Caza overcome Feri via goals from Frank Sutherland and Olimpia Vidal, while Shamrock have the better of their game with AC Izotz Zubia but can’t find the winning goal. For Zozi fans, their lead may have slipped from four points to two, but the result is very much seen as one point gained rather than two lost.

Matchday 32
Bombarralense 3–2 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
AS Marcadia 0–2 Cazadores Cathair
KT Ferramendiak 0–0 KT Itzalovalle
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 0–1 Shamrock Cathair
AC Izotz Zubia 2–1 KT Laranjauzia
Osarese Marcadia 1–0 KT Koroatuz

The National League              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia                  25   17   5   3    49   21  +28    56
 2 1830 Cathair                    22   16   3   3    53   19  +34    51
 3 Shamrock Cathair                22   14   3   5    48   21  +27    45
 4 KT Itzalovalle                  23   11   8   4    26   18   +8    41
 5 Cazadores Cathair               23   12   3   8    42   29  +13    39
 6 Bombarralense                   22   10   6   6    27   31   −4    36
 7 Oljestaden IF                   22   10   3   9    35   34   +1    33
 8 Osarese Marcadia                26    9   6  11    42   55  −13    33
 9 KT Moreazerua                   23    8   7   8    23   24   −1    31

AC Izotz Zubia make the most of 1830 Cathair’s day off and extend their lead at the top, but it was close. Zozi are knocked out of the Champions League in mid-week and it’s a makeshift side that take the field on Sunday evening to stumble over the line via a goal from Coridai. The other two Cathair clubs both play, and both are solid, with Thor Møller grabbing the only goal of the game away to Isle of Kjeligsted and Creidne Lindauer scoring a brace to defeat AS Marcadia.

Matchday 33
Oljestaden IF 1–4 Osarese Marcadia
KT Koroatuz 0–1 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Laranjauzia 1–0 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
Shamrock Cathair 2–0 KT Ferramendiak
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 AS Marcadia
Cazadores Cathair 1–1 Bombarralense
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–1 1830 Cathair

The National League              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia                  26   18   5   3    50   21  +29    59
 2 1830 Cathair                    23   17   3   3    54   19  +35    54
 3 Shamrock Cathair                23   15   3   5    50   21  +29    48
 4 KT Itzalovalle                  24   11   8   5    26   19   +7    41
 5 Cazadores Cathair               24   12   4   8    43   30  +13    40
 6 Bombarralense                   23   10   7   6    28   32   −4    37
 7 Osarese Marcadia                27   10   6  11    46   56  −10    36
 8 Oljestaden IF                   23   10   3  10    36   38   −2    33
 9 KT Moreazerua                   23    8   7   8    23   24   −1    31

Zozi are in a strange position. In any normal league, a side being five points clear at the top with two games to play would be pretty confident of taking the title, but Zozi have only two more games to play compared to Cathair’s five, and there’s no doubt as to whether Cathair can keep the pace. A workmanlike win over CSE is recorded, with Xaime Medal beating Ibrahim Mathisen at the near post for the only goal of the game. All Zozi can do is keep winning and hope their rivals slip up, and a tired AC Izotz Zubia defeat Koroatuz by a single Eurico goal to nil.

Shamrock, of course, aren’t out of it yet, and their new look side has only been stronger since bowing out of IFCF football. They sweep Ferramendiak aside with a cool first-half performance with Fergus Sloan and Yohan Miller tearing their opponents asunder down the wing.

In the battle for that final IFCF Champions League spot, Cazadores slip up, though in truth Rook Cathar’s side are fortunate to snatch a draw from Bombarralense, for whom Szescö Erôss, Maxil Girou and Muuna Kentar are in solid form at the back, and only a last-ditch equaliser from Giorgio Gucci is enough for a single point. Fortunately for Cathar’s Cathair, fourth-placed KT Itzalovalle fare worse. Much, much worse.

The National League              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
10 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi           24    6   5  13    20   31  −11    23
11 KT Ferramendiak                 24    5   7  12    27   37  −10    22
12 KT Laranjauzia                  23    6   4  13    19   31  −12    22
13 Isle of Kjeligsted FC           25    4   7  14    14   32  −18    19
14 AS Marcadia                     23    3   7  13    19   40  −21    16
15 KT Koroatuz                     23    2   8  13    19   43  −24    14

AS Marcadia are still in the relegation places, but their victory over Itzi, via Simos Arvanitakis’s near-post finish, lifts them up to fourteenth and within striking distance of Kjeligsted.

Further up, neither Feri nor Sicurezza are safe despite having spent much of the season in mid-table. There is a definite divide in the league, here, with eight points separating ninth from tenth, yet only one point separating tenth from the Relegation Playoffs and five separating ninth from Challengers’ Cup football next season.

Matchday 34
1830 Cathair 2–2 Cazadores Cathair
Bombarralense 1–2 KT Itzalovalle
AS Marcadia 1–2 Shamrock Cathair
KT Ferramendiak 1–1 KT Laranjauzia
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 0–1 KT Koroatuz
AC Izotz Zubia 0–1 Oljestaden IF
Osarese Marcadia 1–2 KT Moreazerua

The National League               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia                  27   18   5   4    50   22  +28    59
 2 1830 Cathair                    24   17   4   3    56   21  +35    55
 3 Shamrock Cathair                24   16   3   5    52   22  +30    51
 4 KT Itzalovalle                  25   12   8   5    28   20   +8    44
 5 Cazadores Cathair               25   12   5   8    45   32  +13    41
 6 Bombarralense                   24   10   7   7    29   34   −5    37
 7 Oljestaden IF                   24   11   3  10    37   38   −1    36
 8 Osarese Marcadia                28   10   6  12    47   58  −11    36
 9 KT Moreazerua                   24    9   7   8    25   25    0    34

 As with last cycle, Osarese Marcadia’s season ends earlier, having played all their twenty-eight games with four gameweeks still to go. Unfortunately for Le Fenice, they’re defeated at home to KT Moreazerua and will miss out on Challengers’ Cup football next season despite their heroics in reaching the quarter-finals this time out. The season ends on a sort of high, however, as the fans demand Fabio Mancini come and see them after the game, not to complain about the result, but to applaud their player-manager who, from now, will be known simply as ‘manager’. Just shy of his fortieth birthday, the legendary Mancini hangs up his boots for good.

Oljestaden’s win condemns OM to a season without IFCF football, and what a win it is. In front of an increasingly infuriated Izotzazubian crowd, they defeat the title challengers by a single Erwin Spijkers goal to nil. The weekend is ruined for Zozi fans, but Monday evening turns out better than expected. Title rivals 1830 Cathair host Cazadores knowing that a win would decrease the gap to two points. Aymeric Fortin’s brace before half-time looks to put the Capital Club on their way, but their city rivals aren’t done, and pull a goal back through a Cristos Harding header on forty-eight minutes. Cathair, typically fitter than their opponents, begin to tire through the sheer tension and Olimpia Vidal strikes late on to halt the Teatimers’ march.

Nevertheless, Caza lose sight of fourth place as KT Itzalovalle edge past Bombarralense in an equally tight encounter. Taeshani striker Wilhelm Nkitilina Tray Mohaupt’s early strike and sets up Gabirel Zozaia for the winner.[/pre]

Matchday 35
KT Moreazerua 0–2 AC Izotz Zubia
Oljestaden IF 0–1 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
KT Koroatuz 0–1 KT Ferramendiak
KT Laranjauzia 0–1 AS Marcadia
Shamrock Cathair 3–2 Bombarralense
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 1830 Cathair
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi

The National League            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia                  28   19   5   4    52   22  +30    62
 2 1830 Cathair                    25   18   4   3    57   21  +36    58
 3 Shamrock Cathair                25   17   3   5    55   24  +31    54
 4 Cazadores Cathair               26   13   5   8    46   32  +14    44
 5 KT Itzalovalle                  26   12   8   6    28   21   +7    44
 6 Bombarralense                   25   10   7   8    31   37   −6    37
 7 Oljestaden IF                   25   11   3  11    37   39   −2    36
 8 Osarese Marcadia                28   10   6  12    47   58  −11    36
 9 KT Moreazerua                   25    9   7   9    25   27   −2    34

It’s a huge day at both ends of the table. AC Izotz Zubia finish their season with a victory, and a very hard earned one at that over local rivals KT Moreazerua, who themselves are chasing Oljestaden for that final ChC spot. Thomas Butler is in fine form once again, crossing for Carrick to score the first and drawing a penalty after Marwyn Asterisk grabs two handfulls of his shirt as the young Northwest Kalanian darts into the penalty area. Wilfried Baume converts the penalty, and Zozi will finish the season on sixty-two points. Since the start of the fifteen-team top-flight era of the National League, no championship winning side has ever scored more than fifty-nine. If Cathair can close the gap it’ll be a bitter blow for the men in salmon and silver.

Cathair, though, show no signs of slowing down, and Thorsten Kramer roars his team to a one-nothing win over CL-chasing Itzalovalle to maintain the gap at a surpassable four points. With three games still to play, this is already Cathair’s second best season of the fifteen-team era. All they need is a win, a draw and to not be battered too much in defeat in order to claim yet another title.

In defeat, Itzi lose out to Cazadores in terms of the race for the Champions League, with Caza’s Olimpia Vidal again on target as they beat Calcio Sicurezza Elfi.

The National League            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
10 KT Ferramendiak                 26    6   8  12    29   38   −9    26
11 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi           25    6   5  14    20   32  −12    23
12 KT Laranjauzia                  25    6   5  14    20   33  −13    23
13 Isle of Kjeligsted FC           27    5   7  15    15   33  −18    22
14 AS Marcadia                     25    4   7  14    21   42  −21    19
15 KT Koroatuz                     25    3   8  14    20   44  −24    17

It’s an enormous day at the bottom of the table, too. AS Marcadia’s fans chant we’re staying up after defeating fellow relegation candidates KT Laranjauzia, but their party is urinated on that afternoon as Isle of Kjeligsted do something they barely ever do: Beat their local rivals. Challengers’ Cup-chasing Oljestaden are overcome in their own stadium, with fans vehemently booing a poor performance.

Elsewhere, the writing appears to be on the wall for Koroatuz, who lose out to Ferramendiak. Their fans are informed that they should ‘enjoy Tout-Puissant Hasiera away, you *****s’. They are unlikely to enjoy that.

Matchday 36
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
1830 Cathair 1–2 Shamrock Cathair
Bombarralense 6–2 KT Laranjauzia
AS Marcadia 3–0 KT Koroatuz
KT Ferramendiak 1–1 Oljestaden IF
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 0–1 KT Moreazerua

The National League               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia                  28   19   5   4    52   22  +30    62
 2 1830 Cathair                    26   18   4   4    58   23  +35    58
 3 Shamrock Cathair                26   18   3   5    57   25  +32    57
 4 KT Itzalovalle                  27   13   8   6    29   21   +8    47
 5 Cazadores Cathair               26   13   5   8    46   32  +14    44
 6 Bombarralense                   26   11   7   8    37   39   −2    40
 7 KT Moreazerua                   26   10   7   9    26   27   −1    37
 8 Oljestaden IF                   26   11   4  11    38   40   −2    37
 9 Osarese Marcadia                28   10   6  12    47   58  −11    36

…”AND THE TITLE RACE HAS BEEN BLOWN. WIDE. GOD. DAMN. OPEN” goes the commentary. Shamrock fans are utterly delirious, with long-time hero Alexander Crewe coming off the bench and kerblamoing a rocket of a shot past Goran Stroud for a last-minute winner. Not only does this hinder their city rivals a lot going into the last two games, it puts Shamrock in the title fight themselves. Two wins would see the men in green leapfrog AC Izotz Zubia into first place, but they need 1830 Cathair to slip up again.

They are joined in celebrations by Zozi fans, but the Izotzazubians know that, chances are, one of these teams will finish with their noses ahead.

Elsewhere, Caza’s day off means that Itzi can steal a march on their opponents with a win, which they duly get via Moses Moxey.

The National League               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
10 KT Ferramendiak                 27    6   9  12    30   39   −9    27
11 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi           26    6   5  15    20   33  −13    23
12 KT Laranjauzia                  26    6   5  15    22   39  −17    23
13 AS Marcadia                     26    5   7  14    24   42  −18    22
14 Isle of Kjeligsted FC           28    5   7  16    15   34  −19    22
15 KT Koroatuz                     26    3   8  15    20   47  −27    17

AS Marcadia thrash KT Koroatuz by three goals to nil to finally, finally propel themselves out of the relegation places and all but condemn Kozi to the second tier.

Their cause is helped by Isle of Kjeligsted who, playing their final game of the season, are defeated by KT Moreazerua, whose near-namesake Morea Zozetua volleys home on fifty minutes. IoK are all but doomed. They now need AS Marcadia to lose their final two games in order to stay up on goal difference.

A point for Marcadia in either of their final two games would relegate Kjeligsted but, technically, not yet Koroatuz…

Matchday 37
KT Moreazerua 0–1 KT Ferramendiak
Oljestaden IF 2–2 AS Marcadia
KT Koroatuz 2–1 Bombarralense
KT Laranjauzia 1–2 1830 Cathair
Shamrock Cathair 2–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
KT Itzalovalle 1–1 Cazadores Cathair

The National League               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
10 KT Ferramendiak                 28    7   9  12    31   39   −8    30
11 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi           27    6   5  16    20   35  −15    23
12 KT Laranjauzia                  27    6   5  16    23   41  −18    23
13 AS Marcadia                     27    5   8  14    26   44  −18    23
14 Isle of Kjeligsted FC           28    5   7  16    15   34  −19    22
15 KT Koroatuz                     27    4   8  15    22   48  −26    20

Marcadia’s hard-earned draw with Oljestaden relegates Isle of Kjeligsted, but Kozi’s miraculous win over Bombarralense puts Kozi technically within sight of thirteenth. They will need a huge victory - and/or a huge defeat for either Calcio Sicurezza Elfi, Marcadia or Laranjauzia - to stay up. Who do they play on the final day? 1830 Cathair. Away. Speaking of Cathair…

The National League               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia                  28   19   5   4    52   22  +30    62
 2 1830 Cathair                    27   19   4   4    60   24  +36    61
 3 Shamrock Cathair                27   19   3   5    59   25  +34    60
 4 KT Itzalovalle                  28   13   9   6    30   22   +8    48
 5 Cazadores Cathair               27   13   6   8    47   33  +14    45
 6 Bombarralense                   27   11   7   9    38   41   −3    40
 7 Oljestaden IF                   27   11   5  11    40   42   −2    38
 8 KT Moreazerua                   27   10   7  10    26   28   −2    37
 9 Osarese Marcadia                28   10   6  12    47   58  −11    36

Zozi fans know that defeat for Shamrock and 1830 Cathair would give them the league title this weekend. Okay, only the most optimistic of Zozi fans. Both sides win, although the Teatimers leave it late before Pristina Shine pops up in the area to side-foot the winner home for all three points.

Shamrock’s two-nil defeat of Calcio Sicurezza Elfi, with Thor Møller scoring either side of half-time, ensures it will be a three-way battle for the league title on the final day. They will require all three points, and for Cathair not to win, in order to take the title.

In fourth place, Cazadores Cathair play KT Itzalovalle and fail to win, but taking all three points in their final game will certainly put them back into the Champions League for next season.

So. Caza and Shamrock both desperately need a win.
 Guess who they’re playing on the final day?

by **Audioslavia** » Fri Jul 31, 2020 12:47 pm

Matchday 38
Cazadores Cathair 0–1 Shamrock Cathair
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–2 KT Laranjauzia
1830 Cathair 3–2 KT Koroatuz
Bombarralense 5–1 Oljestaden IF
AS Marcadia 0–2 KT Moreazerua

Shamrock had no realistic chance of getting the league title just a few games ago but this still feels like another title that has gotten away from the men in green. Itzalovalle finish fourth and will play in the Champions League once more. Cazadores Cathair’s attempt at retaining their title never really got going, and they finish fifth.

In being thrashed by Bombarralense, Oljestaden drop out of the top seven thanks to Moreazerua’s defeat of AS Marcadia. For all their early-season woes, Mozi have attained Challengers’ Cup football once again.

At the bottom, Marcadia’s escape is almost complete, but they face a relegation playoff between themselves, Calcio Sicurezza Elfi and the third and fourth placed teams in the second flight: Sobrevolante and Santa Margarida

The National League               Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 1830 Cathair                    28   20   4   4    63   26  +37    64 IFCF Champions League
 2 Shamrock Cathair                28   20   3   5    60   25  +35    63 IFCF Champions League
 3 AC Izotz Zubia                  28   19   5   4    52   22  +30    62 IFCF Champions League
 4 KT Itzalovalle                  28   13   9   6    30   22   +8    48 IFCF Champions League
 5 Cazadores Cathair               28   13   6   9    47   34  +13    45 IFCF Challengers’ Cup
 6 Bombarralense                   28   12   7   9    43   42   +1    43 IFCF Challengers’ Cup
 7 KT Moreazerua                   28   11   7  10    28   28    0    40 IFCF Challengers’ Cup
 8 Oljestaden IF                   28   11   5  12    41   47   −6    38 VCI
 9 Osarese Marcadia                28   10   6  12    47   58  −11    36
10 KT Ferramendiak                 28    7   9  12    31   39   −8    30
11 KT Laranjauzia                  28    7   5  16    25   41  −16    26
12 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi           28    6   5  17    20   37  −17    23 Relegation Playoff
13 AS Marcadia                     28    5   8  15    26   46  −20    23 Relegation Playoff
14 Isle of Kjeligsted FC           28    5   7  16    15   34  −19    22 Relegated
15 KT Koroatuz                     28    4   8  16    24   51  −27    20 Relegated

National Two                      Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Excelsior Zijweg                38   25   7   6    58   21  +37    82 Promoted
 2 CdF Celtade                     38   24   6   8    60   24  +36    78 Promoted
 3 Sobrevolante                    38   22   6  10    64   28  +36    72 Promotion Playoff
 4 Santa Margarida                 38   22   6  10    50   29  +21    72 Promotion Playoff
 5 Tout-Puissant Hasiera           38   20   7  11    49   40   +9    67
 6 The Oran                        38   19   9  10    64   38  +26    66
 7 Laranjeiras                     38   16  10  12    51   48   +3    58
 8 Hibernação                      38   16   8  14    54   46   +8    56
 9 Tenth Star Hasiera              38   16   6  16    38   42   −4    54
10 C.D. Portobranco                38   15   8  15    42   43   −1    53
11 Silexhera FC                    38   13  13  12    41   41    0    52
12 Corações                        38   15   7  16    40   46   −6    52
13 Burdoc Ridge                    38   15   5  18    37   42   −5    50
14 Eletti Valligiani               38   12  11  15    36   39   −3    47
15 Crossport Dynamo                38   12  10  16    30   40  −10    46
16 Alistoun Academicals            38   12   9  17    35   48  −13    45
17 Necromarinai                    38    8   8  22    30   52  −22    32
18 CdFS Ilheiros                   38    9   3  26    26   62  −36    30
19 Sporting Clube Marinheiros      38    8   5  25    31   59  −28    29
20 2130 Calolziolungho             38    5   8  25    32   80  −48    23

Kirola Cup Preliminary Round
Ross Railway 1–1 Lemmitania State FC (1–1 AET) (4–5 pen.)
Glasgar Rebels 0–0 Vidrieros (0–0 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Valens AV 0–0 PLFC (1–0 AET)
KT Ferratzaileak 0–1 Cerejeiras
Orquideas 0–1 Maccabi Hasiera
Coile Owls 0–1 Frecce
Coile Blades 1–2 Viking Hryggur
Calcio Lecho 1–2 Fundición
CF Cruceros 1–0 Deportivo de Puerta Cruz
Steelworks 1–1 Viking Halehavn (1–1 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Clockwork FC 1–0 Glasgar Royals
Valderantia United 2–1 Ceilerden Harp

Kirola Cup
CF Herradores 3–0 Shamrock Cathair
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–1 CdFS Ilheiros (2–1 AET)
Excelsior Zijweg 2–1 Huiszwalluw FC
CdF Celtade 1–1 KT Koroatuz (1–1 AET) (3–5 pen.)
Silexhera FC 0–3 Alistoun Academicals
Crossport Dynamo 0–1 AC Izotz Zubia
Maccabi Hasiera 0–1 The Oran
Sporting Clube de São Jeremías 0–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi (0–0 AET) (7–8 pen.)
Uniao Tortuguita 1–0 Eletti Valligiani
AS Marcadia 1–0 Osarese Marcadia
Sobrevolante 2–1 KT Kanpoldelko
CF Cruceros 2–2 Oljestaden IF (4–3 AET)
KT Moreazerua 1–2 1830 Cathair
Bombarralense 0–3 2130 Calolziolungho
Artiglieria 2–0 Cerejeiras
DDM Dunas Secas 0–3 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
Sporting Clube Marinheiros 1–0 Glasgar Rebels
Viking Halehavn 0–1 Guerrilla Cathair
Valens AV 1–0 Fundición
Ceilerden Rovers 2–1 Clockwork FC
SC Laivanrakentajas 0–2 Crossport Mariners
C.D. Portobranco 2–0 Lemmitania State FC
Viking Hryggur 0–3 Union Cathair FC
KT Ferramendiak 1–2 Hibernação
Iron Brewery 3–3 Kitherwell (4–4 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Frecce 0–1 Valão
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
Santa Margarida 1–0 Reina Del Sud
Laranjeiras 0–1 Necromarinai
Corações 2–1 Sparta Zijweg
Burdoc Ridge 1–2 KT Laranjauzia
Cazadores Cathair 1–1 Valderantia United (2–2 AET) (3–0 pen.)

Kirola Cup
AC Izotz Zubia 3–1 The Oran
Santa Margarida 2–4 Alistoun Academicals
CF Herradores 0–0 Excelsior Zijweg (0–0 AET) (2–4 pen.)
C.D. Portobranco 2–4 Necromarinai
Crossport Mariners 0–0 Artiglieria (1–0 AET)
AS Marcadia 1–1 Iron Brewery (1–1 AET) (2–4 pen.)
1830 Cathair 1–0 KT Itzalovalle
Corações 0–1 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Uniao Tortuguita 0–2 Union Cathair FC
CF Cruceros 2–2 Sobrevolante (3–3 AET) (4–1 pen.)
Guerrilla Cathair 1–0 Hibernação
Valão 0–1 Ceilerden Rovers
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 2130 Calolziolungho
KT Koroatuz 1–0 KT Laranjauzia
Valens AV 1–2 Sporting Clube Marinheiros

Kirola Cup
Iron Brewery 0–4 CF Cruceros
Guerrilla Cathair 0–1 Ceilerden Rovers
Sporting Clube Marinheiros 4–1 Excelsior Zijweg
Crossport Mariners 1–0 Necromarinai
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 1–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Cazadores Cathair 0–0 AC Izotz Zubia (0–0 AET) (3–4 pen.)
KT Koroatuz 0–1 Union Cathair FC
1830 Cathair 2–0 Alistoun Academicals

Kirola Cup
1830 Cathair 4–1 Ceilerden Rovers
CF Cruceros 4–4 AC Izotz Zubia (5–4 AET)
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 0–2 Union Cathair FC
Sporting Clube Marinheiros 3–0 Crossport Mariners

Kirola Cup
CF Cruceros 1–0 Sporting Clube Marinheiros
1830 Cathair 0–0 Union Cathair FC (0–1 AET)

Kirola Cup
CF Cruceros 0–2 Union Cathair FC

It is… the most bizarre Audioslavian Cup final in history. The Kirola Cup is no stranger to second tier teams winning it - look at Osarese last season or Eletti Valligiani in season one of the National League, but to have a final contested by two teams from the third tier of Audioslavian football is, frankly, ridiculous. In a final that is high on drama but a little shorter on talent than you’d expect, Union Cathair defeat CF Cruceros to win the Kirola Cup and qualify for the CWC next season. Unbelievable. The goals both come from Fergus Coren who, at sixteen years of age, becomes the youngest man to score in the final. He’s pretty much the youngest man to play in it.

Cruceros, whose list of scalps include an extra-time victory over AC Izotz Zubia and a penalty-kick victory over high-flying second-tier Sobrevolante! are applauded as they leave the field.

Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0-0 AS Marcadia
Sobrevolante! 1-2 Santa Margarida

Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 2-2 Sobrevolante!
AS Marcadia 3-1 Santa Margarida

Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 2-1 Santa Margarida
AS Marcadia 4-4 Sobrevolante!

Pro/Rel Playoffs       Pld  W  D  L  F  A  Pts
AS Marcadia              3  1  2  0  7  5  5 National League
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi    3  1  2  0  4  3  5 National League
Santa Margarida          3  1  0  2  4  6  3 National Two
Sobrevolante!            3  0  2  1  7  8  2 National Two

It’s once again ‘as you were’ in the playoffs, with neither of the National Two sides managing to usurp the top flight teams. A solitary draw for Santa Margarida in their final two games might have been enough to sneak back into the top flight, but it wasn’t to be.

by **Audioslavia** » Fri Oct 23, 2020 3:04 pm

SEASON 13

Matchday 1
CdF Celtade 0–0 Excelsior Zijweg
AC Izotz Zubia 2–1 KT Laranjauzia
AS Marcadia 1–0 Shamrock Cathair
Osarese Marcadia 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Bombarralense 1–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi

Matchday 2
KT Moreazerua 2–2 Bombarralense
Shamrock Cathair 0–4 Osarese Marcadia
KT Laranjauzia 0–0 AS Marcadia
Excelsior Zijweg 0–1 AC Izotz Zubia
Oljestaden IF 0–1 KT Itzalovalle

Matchday 3
1830 Cathair 4–1 Oljestaden IF
AS Marcadia 0–2 Excelsior Zijweg
Osarese Marcadia 1–0 KT Laranjauzia
Bombarralense 1–2 Shamrock Cathair
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–4 KT Moreazerua
The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Moreazerua               3    2   1   0     7    2   +5     7
 2 Osarese Marcadia            3    2   0   1     5    1   +4     6
 3 AC Izotz Zubia              2    2   0   0     3    1   +2     6
 4 Excelsior Zijweg            3    1   1   1     2    1   +1     4
 5 AS Marcadia                 3    1   1   1     1    2   −1     4
 6 1830 Cathair                1    1   0   0     4    1   +3     3
 7 KT Itzalovalle              1    1   0   0     1    0   +1     3
 8 Shamrock Cathair            3    1   0   2     2    6   −4     3
 9 Bombarralense               3    0   2   1     4    5   −1     2
10 CdF Celtade                 1    0   1   0     0    0    0     1
11 KT Laranjauzia              3    0   1   2     1    3   −2     1
12 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi       2    0   1   1     1    5   −4     1
13 Oljestaden IF               2    0   0   2     1    5   −4     0
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the dumbest thing in domestic football: The National League table after three matchdays.

Who’s on top? Who has the early running? Who’s going to struggle this season? Who effing knows?

Every team in the National League will, at two points in the season, have a four-week break. For some teams this will come halfway through the season, arresting a run of bad form or cooling a hot streak. It may come at the end of the season and force your team to watch the title run-in from the sidelines, wondering whether or not you’ll keep the place you earned throughout the campaign.

There’s also at least one team every season that misses the opening matchdays and instead gets to enjoy an extended pre-season period. No team has ever absolutely needed an extended pre-season period more than Cazadores Cathair have needed this one.

KT Laranjauzia Luja
Luja Stadium. Laranjauzia, Tzierra

Domestic Honours - 0
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Iker Saucedo (37, G , AUD)
2. Ysaak (25, D CR, DAI)
3. Kieran Lorenzen (24, D L, AUD)
4. Estebe Antxustegi (34, DM C, AUD)
5. Edorta Mondragon (21, D C, AUD)
6. Ixaka Lizarzaburu (20, D C, AUD)
7. Alessandro Juliana (34, M CR, AUD)
8. Domeka Zabala (33, M/F CR, AUD)
9. Galin Alejandro (34, F C, AUD)
10. Metan Cordean (34, M/AM C, COS)
11. Zorian Linazasoro (27, M LC, AUD)
12. Kemen Arenaza (33, D R, AUD)
15. Xabat Urrestilla (24, D/M RL, AUD)
16. Nicolò Scarpaci (28, DM C, AUD)
17. Inácio Castro (21, M RC, AUD)
19. Zorian Ytuarte (20, G , AUD)
24. Klavdii Davydov (33, F C, AUD)

“What’s that KT team in Audioslavia?”
“Itzalovalle or Moreazerua”
“No, the other one”
“Oh. Ferramendiak”
“No, the other other one”
“Oh it’s.. thingmy. Koroatuz”
“No, that’s not it. It sounds like… it’s sounds like.. like it’s a spoonerism of ’Somehow lousier”
“Laranjauzia?”
“That’s the one. Are they good this season?”
“No.”

Except.. except Metan Cordean, arriving from KT Itzalovalle, is talented despite being woefully inconsistent. Alessandro Juliana used to play for Audioslavia and could well be effective. Ysaak is often called ‘Dainer’s answer to Jerquaad’ by people on the internet who think they’re funny, but the truth is he’s a decent player who arrives from Silexhera looking to prove himself in the top flight again.

Last season’s eleventh-placed finish - three points ahead of Calcio Sicurezza Elfi in the relegation playoffs and well clear of the struggling AS Marcadia, IoK and Koroatuz - was an excellent campaign for a team most had tipped for the drop.

Laranjauzia are, once again, preparing themselves for a relegation dogfight. Their three losses so far have been against much stronger teams, with their only other point coming against fellow strugglers AS Marcadia. Matchday five, however, sees them travelling eastwards to Calcio Sicurezza Elfi.

Matchday 5
Cazadores Cathair 2–1 KT Itzalovalle
KT Ferramendiak 3–0 Oljestaden IF
Bombarralense 3–2 Excelsior Zijweg
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–1 KT Laranjauzia
KT Moreazerua 2–4 Shamrock Cathair

Alessandro Juliana’s legs are a little too old to be playing 90 minutes every week, but the winger-turned-playmaker works his magic on sixty-four minutes for the only goal of the game, meeting a loose ball sweetly on the half-volley and sending it hurtling into the bottom corner. CSE goalie Ibrahim Mathisen is left rooted to the spot, and his team will end the match where they started: One point, second bottom, staring doom in the face.

Excelsior Zijweg The Wee Easy
Vidaak Arena, (Cap: 16500). Zijweg, Hyland

Domestic Honours - 0
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Yoruyoru (24, G , DAI)
2. Mathew Glassmaker (28, D R, AUD)
3. Jody Mahmud (16, D L, AUD)
4. Bryton Menheniot (27, DM C, APX)
5. Jacoby Gibson (23, D C, AUD)
6. Zackothy Almanzar (26, D C, AUD)
7. Hoyt Alas (21, M R, AUD)
8. Dane Pridgeon (23, M C, COS)
9. Eric Giese (27, F C, AUD)
10. Axel Agard (19, AM RC, AUD)
11. Troy Qaderi (22, M LC, AUD)
12. Folke Bolt (18, M/F C, AUD)
13. Lyndis (33, M/AM C, DAI)
14. Rogier Kuijken (21, AM R, AUD)
15. Rustex Van Heemstra (25, DM C, AUD)
16. Teunis Nijhof (21, DM C, AUD)
17. Tristen Rigger (26, M C, AUD)
18. Kazimir Sliva (23, G , AUD)
19. Pabel Krasinski (19, F C, AUD)
20. Jeroen Beethoven (24, M C, AUD)
21. Inigo Eskibel (16, D R, AUD)
Mng. Christopher Swansmith (69, DM C, AUD)

Excelsior, like Celtade, came up from the second second this season and are playing their first ever year of top-flight Audioslavian football. Their team, like many promoted sides, is largely young and Audioslavian but has had augmentations over the transfer window, notably with the arrivals of Caza duo Dane Pridgeon and Bryton Menheniot, who have been utter rocks in midfield for the side. Oh, and they now have a Daineri goalkeeper too. Natch.

Excelsior are 4–2-2 after eight games. Not usually good enough for the top spot in most leagues, but the National League isn’t most leagues. Excelsior are the only side to have played on all nine matchdays thus far. Were we going on points-per-game, they’d be around fifth.

That’s not to say the side haven’t been impressive though. Last week saw them over-run a bemused Shamrock side that had just come back from beating AFC Treason in the Champions League, and the side have had good results against Osarese Marcadia (a 4-2 win) and Moreazerua (a draw) and look every bit like they’re meant to be in this division.

This weekend, they will stay atop the league, albeit after a dull draw with KT Laranjauzia. Nobody will be watching. This weekend, it’s all about one game. The Derby of Audioslavia. Cathair vs Zozi.

Matchday 9
CdF Celtade 0–1 Cazadores Cathair
AS Marcadia 2–4 KT Itzalovalle
Osarese Marcadia 1–0 Oljestaden IF
KT Laranjauzia 0–0 Excelsior Zijweg

As with last week, Cathair go in at half-time at 0-0. As with last week, Thorsten Kramer has a midfield battle of wits on his hands, but this time it’s against Izotz Zubia’s Nepharan new boy Lothaire Cromwell, a $35m transfer from AFC Treason. Unlike Finn Townsend, this isn’t someone trying to prove they can be a leader for the rest of the team, it’s someone who’s already proven that at the highest level. Their battle is fought in both halves of the field, with Kramer having to get into the trenches on the edge of his own box and Cromwell having to do the same. Zozi are a five-man midfield team and Cathair have followed suit for this one, with Liam Armstrong in the centre of the midfield and just the one striker - the all-action Handris preferred to either Fortin, Shine or Sharp, the latter not even making the bench.

Cathair draw first blood, and it’s Thorsten Kramer again, taking a touch on the edge of the area to buy him a yard of space and side-footing the goal past Breeze at the near-post. Cromwell, however, is not to be outshined, especially with the price tag attached to their shirt, and the Nepharan levels the score on seventy-two minutes, diving onto a square ball just inside the box and scooping it into the top corner with a hooked left-footed shot that has Goran Stroud shouting obsenities at his defence before the ball has even crossed the line.

AC Izotz Zubia 1–1 1830 Cathair

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Excelsior Zijweg            9    4   3   2    15   10   +5    15
 2 1830 Cathair                6    4   2   0    17    8   +9    14
 3 KT Itzalovalle              7    4   2   1    16   11   +5    14
 4 Cazadores Cathair           5    4   0   1     6    3   +3    12
 5 Shamrock Cathair            7    4   0   3     9   10   −1    12
 6 KT Moreazerua               6    3   2   1    12    8   +4    11
 7 Osarese Marcadia            5    3   0   2     9    5   +4     9
 8 AC Izotz Zubia              5    2   3   0     7    5   +2     9
 9 Bombarralense               5    2   2   1    10    9   +1     8
10 Oljestaden IF               8    2   1   5     7   13   −6     7
11 KT Laranjauzia              8    1   2   5     5    9   −4     5
12 AS Marcadia                 5    1   1   3     3    7   −4     4
13 KT Ferramendiak             4    1   0   3     6    8   −2     3
14 CdF Celtade                 5    0   1   4     3   10   −7     1
15 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi       5    0   1   4     3   12   −9     1

A quarter of the season gone. What do we know about the title race? Look at the table. What does it teach you?

That’s right: Nothing. The way we like it.

by **Audioslavia** » Sat Oct 24, 2020 12:34 pm

KT Ferramendiak Feri
Burdina Jauregia, (Cap: 85000). Ferramendiak, Herradura

Domestic Honours - 1
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Jordan Yoda (31, G , AFT)
3. Maren Irigoyen (33, D LC, AUD)
4. Gorka Gurmendi (31, M C, AUD)
5. Rafael Borrego (36, D C, AUD)
6. Andoni Gorrindo (32, D C, AUD)
8. Kemen Goyenetche (27, M C, AUD)
9. Joshua Ferrand (27, F C, AUD)
10. Stanimir Rekawić (21, AM C, ZRH)
11. Ixaka Linda (30, M L, AUD)
12. Fathallah Echavarria (27, D/M LC, AUD)
13. Juan Esteban Corpuz (33, G , AUD)
14. Bardol Yrigoyen (27, D R, AUD)
15. Ximun Arambillet (33, D L, AUD)
16. Xalbador Telleria (23, DM C, AUD)
17. Igon Inurrutegi (23, F C, AUD)
18. Juan Sebastián Rigor (32, D C, AUD)
19. Parketh Barcena (23, F C, AUD)
Mng. Antwan Wangsgard (62, D R, AUD)

KT Ferramendiak have played just four times over the first nine matchdays, so surely we don’t know enough about them to make a judgement, right?

Lol no. This is KT Ferramendiak. They’ll be thuddingly predictable all season and finish in the bottom five. It’s how they roll.

Okay, so they’ve had their moments. In LigAnaia season 12, the year Monarchs somehow won the title in the LigAnaia East, Ferramendiak finished 12th out of twenty teams yet somehow managed to qualify for the Globe Cup, largely thanks to Legalite teams having pulled out of all UICA competition and Audioslavia’s high standing in the UICA rankings at the time. They qualified for the Globe Cup again three cycles later, this time finishing sixth out of ten teams in the inaugural National League season, but since then it’s been nothing but mediocrity from the boys in white. Relegated in season two, promoted in three, relegation playoff in season four, relegated in five, relegated again in six (alongside current league leader Excelsior Zijweg, no less), fifth in the old third division, luckily for them in the expansion season, two mid-table second-tier finishes in a row before another promotion back to the top flight. Last season’s tenth placed finish was their best performance in years, yet they were still ten points off the Challengers’ Cup spots and only eight from automatic relegation.

This season’s squad is largely unchanged from that one, and its that level of cohesion that they’re relying on to keep them out of danger this time out. A three-man central midfield of Kemen Goyenetche, Xalbador Telleria and Stanimir Rekawić is their key to victory. That and hoping their opposition don’t show up.

Matchday 10
Oljestaden IF 0–2 Bombarralense
KT Itzalovalle 2–0 Osarese Marcadia
1830 Cathair 2–2 AS Marcadia
Cazadores Cathair 2–4 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Ferramendiak 3–1 CdF Celtade

Finn Townsend shows up for Celtade, but on a cold evening in the mountains the men from the Costa Branca just can’t get going, and Feri mug them in the opening ten minutes with Josh Ferrand on the end of two crosses. Coridai reduces the deficit after half-time, but as the pitch soaks up moisture their attempts at passing their way out of danger begin to backfire. An error from Facunda Rosa allows Ferrand in for a third time, the striker notching a hat-trick with a sliced shot that bamboozles Placido Sousa, and Ferramendiak take all three points.

CdF Celtade are now 0-1-5 after ten matchdays and are rooted to the foot of the table. They now face a week off to lick their wounds and summon the courage to go again. They will be playing at home on matchday thirteen against a team called AC Izotz Zubia.

AS Marcadia I Marchetti
Stadio di Via Montegrappa, (Cap: 23500). Marcadia, Padia

Domestic Honours - 1
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Fortune Cammers (21, G , EFL)
2. Erik Silberg (32, D R, AUD)
3. Amarzi George (25, D L, MRC)
4. Lance Bensom (24, D C, BRE)
5. Antonio Dragutin (25, D C, MRC)
6. Vega Lage (32, D/M RCL, AUD)
7. Simos Arvanitakis (21, AM RL, FHU)
8. Davide Lauri (29, M C, AUD)
9. Caceres (35, F C, DAI)
10. Menderchuk (32, F C, DAI)
11. Javier Besoitagoena (26, M C, AUD)
12. Giovanni Fanara (33, D C, AUD)
13. Adam Porro (33, D/M RL, AUD)
14. Minka Kranevitter (33, M R, NPH)
15. Adão Monserrate (36, D C, AUD)
16. Francesc Monzo (24, M LC, AUD)
17. Jarrod Di Virgilio (31, M/F RL, AUD)
18. Mattia Cicale (24, M C, AUD)
20. Angelo Libera (22, M C, AUD)
21. Edoardo Del Conte (24, M C, AUD)
Mng. Mauro Bianchi (63, M CR, AUD)

There was a time when nobody in Marcadia knew who Osarese were. Now they’re provably the best team in the city and AS’s stock has fallen as Osarese’s has risen. They are another team to have made no notable changes to their squad in the off-season which, seeing as they finished thirteenth last time out, is not promising at all. Marcadia live off scraps at the bottom of the table and hope that there are two worse teams than them come the end of the campaign. With Celtade and CSE below them, that may well be true this time out too.

This week they host a Cazadores Cathair side who have gone a very modest 4-0-2 thus far and are looking for a crumb of consistency.

Matchday 11
AC Izotz Zubia 3–1 KT Ferramendiak
AS Marcadia 2–0 Cazadores Cathair
Osarese Marcadia 0–3 1830 Cathair
Bombarralense 3–1 KT Itzalovalle
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–5 Oljestaden IF

I mean, that might have been a crumb, to be fair. Caza are disjointed and directionless, which are two of the only insults you can’t hurl at AS Marcadia as they score either side of half-time and watch as Caza flatly run out of ideas. Their day is opitomised by a late chance for Gerhard Colvyn, on as a desperation substitute in place of defender Salvador Monterroso. The Brenecian controls a through ball at the third attempt, feints a shot, is dismayed to see the keeper stand stock still and, figuring he’d rather the keeper be on his arse rather than stood still, tries to take the keeper out once more. Fortune Cammers doesn’t move. Colvyn seems to decide that the keeper will definitely dive for the third attempt at a shot and chips the ball in the space the goalkeeper would leave behind if he’d dived for the ball. Cammers doesn’t dive. The ball loops harmlessly into his chest and the travelling Caza fans turn the air so blue they could terraform an asteroid.

This new-look Cazadores side are hot, hot garbage.

You know who isn’t hot, hot garbage?

Matchday 12
Oljestaden IF 0–1 KT Moreazerua
KT Itzalovalle 3–2 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
1830 Cathair 2–1 Bombarralense
Cazadores Cathair 0–1 Osarese Marcadia
KT Ferramendiak 2–3 AS Marcadia
CdF Celtade 1–0 AC Izotz Zubia

It had been Townsend’s interception on the halfway line and his quick pass that had released Facundo Rosa down the right. Rosa had seen Kalactinian full-back Larry Martinez in front of him, feinted cutting inside and instead knocked the ball down the line, his momentum taking him past the backtracking Martinez. Rosa’s cut-back to the edge of the area, Valentino Escandon’s decision to stop the ball and pass it sideways and Luca Sennna’s crisp, curling finish. 1-0 Celtade. A quick glance at the scoreboard. 83 minutes still to play. God damnit.

This is why Celtade bought Finn Townsend, yet its also why they’ve developed Declan MacCowan from a defensive-minded midfielder to an all-action one. It’s simply not possible to sit and defend against a team like Zozi for 80 minutes. You have to keep taking the play to them and you have to pretend that they’re not fourteen times better than you in every way.

Zozi’s three-man central midfield of Cromwell (scary), Deschapelles (o no!) and Eurico (aaaaaaaa) can only over-run you if they can get a foothold on the game. Finn and the MacCowans decide not to let them. Townsend versus Cromwell should be every bit as exciting as either of their battles with Thorsten Kramer, but this time out Townsend is hell bent on making sure Cromwell never even gets the ball to begin with. Declan MacCowan does the same to Deschapelles, keeping him covered when Zozi look to probe in the centre. The attention forces the midfielders to pass out wide when they do get the ball. The attacking midfielder, Eurico da Rosa, is harried by one or both of Carmelo and Daniel stepping up from the back line, with 19 year-old rookie Olegário Branco and the experienced Iñigo Tio formin a tight back-three whenever one of them gets forward. It’s all orchestrated by glances, points and shouts from Townsend.
 Zozi are forced down the wings, but they’re just as dangerous there, too, with Thomas Butler (argh!) and Kyran Knudsen (gack!) capable of tearing any team apart. Celtade, however, are resolute, and much to Zozi’s annoyance they keep bloody counterattacking. Valentino Escandon is close to making it 2-0 twice as Zozi start to get sloppy, while Luca Senna rattles the crossbar with a thunderous drive from outside the box.

Celtade tire first, but fatigue isn’t stopping Townsend any time soon. The ball is won time and time again by the midfielder who retains the wherewithall to pass it, rather than boot it, and it’s his insistence on doing something productive whenever he gets the ball that eventually puts Celtade ahead.

This technique goes right out of the window in injury time, whereby anything vaguely resembling a football gets booted into the second tier of the stand without mercy.

CdF Celtade hold on and, almost a third of the way through the season, find their first win. Zozi are disgusted and utterly, utterly knackered. The Celtade team climb the barricades between the pitch and the stadium and whip the crowd up into a delirious frenzy. They are off the bottom. Only one team remains there now.

The executive boxes at the Arena Kirola are luxurious, if a little dated. A row of comfortable chairs face a large window looking out onto the pitch. The glass of the window is so thick it could stop a bullet, which is useful if you’re Jeremy Jaffacake, which Jeremy Jaffacake certainly is. He’s sitting, facing the window, but with a low round coffee table between it and him. On the coffee table there are three coffees, which is [i]immensely satisfying for the table. To the left of the coffee table, sitting on a chair partially facing the table and partially facing the pitch is a small, rugged looking man who is dressed like someone once told him what clothes a 19th century factory owner wore over the phone in a gale. Whatever that factory owner was doing trying to use the phone in highly windy conditions is anyone’s guess. His name is Rohan Cammers. His salt and pepper hair is, these days, more the former than the latter, and has made gains on its slow escape from his forehead. Cammers, it appears, is helping it on its way by growing it a little longer than usual and slicking it back. He probably thinks this makes him look like Kirk Douglas in Wall Stret, but he’s too wiry, his face too jowely and his hair too thin and the result is that he looks like two Iggy Pops at a funeral. And in any case it was Michael Douglas, not Kirk.

Across from him, someone has decided to place one of the reinforced concrete foundations of a suspension bridge on an expensive armchair, wrap it in a black suit and place a polar bear’s head on it. His name is Rook Cathar and he looks like his new year’s resolution was to pull tractors out of swamps with his bare hands in between carbonaras. It’s December.

He’s hench. He’s also the kind of person whose face turns bright beetroot red when going from a cold outside to a well-heated room. Not a great look for someone whose blondness is only accentuated by going grey. When he picks up his coffee he looks like an embarassed sasquatch inspecting a thimble.

On the pitch, 1830 Cathair are making KT Laranjauzia look like Yuba United. Nothing is working for the boys in deep blue. Thorsten Kramer is doing more running than normal to compensate for the players around him, but the end result of that is that he’s out of position whenever Cathair do get going and, without him as an option the other midfielders are looking sideways rather than forwards for their passes, which only makes Kramer try to work harder. Laranjauzia, for their part, are acting like this is their cup final. It certainly will be their only trip to the Arena Kirola this season.

“It’s kind of looking like Cathair might not win this one. What do you say, lads?” asks Jeremy. Shamrock Cathair’s Rohan Cammers rises to the question first.
”They’ve been dire, you love to see it.” he says, looking over at Rook Cathar.
”Mmm”
”Obviously any time Half-Six lose, you have to take advantage of it” continued Rohan. ”It raises the stakes for tomorrow’s game”
“Are you annoyed you won’t be taking charge of the team for it?” asks Jeremy.
”I trust Alex 100%. He won’t let us down. We’ve got a game plan, he’ll make the right decisions on the touchline and, at the end, if we get the breaks, you have to see us as the favourites”
“Is that right, Rook?” asks Jeremy, glancing in the bear’s direction.
”Mmm” says the bear. After a couple of blinks, he realises he’s possibly being rude. ”Excuse me, gents. My mind wandered. Yeah of course it’s good when Cathair don’t win. My mind’s on the game tomorrow”
“Shamrock versus Cazadores. Big game. Always a fan favourite, even amongst neutrals. In fact, probably ‘only’ amongst neutrals. For Caza and Shammers fans it’s… it’s much too tense, isn’t it?”
”That’s what they say. When you’re on the pitch it’s a big one, aye, but there are so many huge games in the league. You make sure you’re fit and ready and that’s all you can do. Plus tomorrow with the chance to make up ground on Cathair. Yeah, our lads are raring to go”
“And does that matter for Cazadores?” asks Jeremy, looking over at Rook.
”Of course” says Rook.
“It’s just that, y’know” says Jeremy, pulling at his collar, knowing the words that are about to come out of his mouth. “Looking at the league table right now, it might seem like the distance between Caza and Cathair makes this game a bit… like…”
Rook turns to look at Jeremy.
“…like the gap might be insurmountable already. And that Caza… aren’t really… aren’t really going for the title… this… season”

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 1830 Cathair               12    7   3   2    27   15  +12    24
 2 KT Itzalovalle             13    6   4   3    24   19   +5    22
 3 AC Izotz Zubia             10    6   3   1    21   12   +9    21
 4 KT Moreazerua              10    5   3   2    18   13   +5    18
 5 Shamrock Cathair           10    5   2   3    11   11    0    17
 6 Excelsior Zijweg           10    4   4   2    18   13   +5    16
 7 Bombarralense              11    4   3   4    20   20    0    15
 8 Oljestaden IF              14    4   3   7    17   21   −4    15
 9 Osarese Marcadia           11    4   2   5    16   19   −3    14
10 Cazadores Cathair          11    4   2   5    12   15   −3    14
11 KT Ferramendiak            10    4   1   5    24   25   −1    13
12 CdF Celtade                10    3   2   5    12   14   −2    11
13 AS Marcadia                10    3   2   5    12   17   −5    11
14 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      10    2   1   7    12   25  −13     7
15 KT Laranjauzia             10    1   3   6     7   12   −5     6

Rook’s response was to verbally put Jeremy on a coathanger, but not as harshly as he could have. The fact was, like a stopped clock or a libertarian politician, Jeremy Jaffacake was occasionally accidentally right. Forget the fact that Caza were only four points off the Champions League places and that the season wasn’t even near halfway through, Caza had been lacking. The side had lost its foundations at short notice and, right now, Rook Cathar felt like he was propping the team up with twigs while he waited for the cement to dry on the new. Tutayan was an out-and-out winger, a guy whose play involved marauding forward and to the by-line, bought to replace a right-midfielder who had always cut inside to bolster the midfield. Full-back Jerquaad had always sprinted into the space on the right hand side, but Jerquaad had also gone. Guifré Menez, the replacement, was a converted winger who had still to adapt to the idea that, when he got forward, the guy ahead of him wouldn’t necessarily be filling the gap he left behind, and so he needed to stay back and defend, which was definitely not his strong suit. The two other guys who could fill in at right-back were also the marauding type, not the defending type, and Rook’s attempts to plug a centre-half into that spot hadn’t worked. Cristos Harding was a centre half’s centre half, Monterroso too old and too slow, and moving Inteali Koranjo out of position would be like using a faberge egg as a doorstop.

In midfield, Azaim was fine, but a downgrade on either Pridgeon or Menheniot. Adrian Toscani was probably an upgrade on the former, but as an out-and-out attacking midfielder he was too often getting in the sorts of positions Creidne Lindauer wanted to be in. Lindauer was still sharp, but still adjusting to the idea of being the lone striker. Besides, with the situation getting worse and worse, the Brenecian’s fuse had started to shorten. Though the goals were still coming, the bookings were starting to drip through into his game too. A switch back to a 4-4-2 would entail picking one of Aloha, Aranha or Gerhard Colvyn next to the striker, and neither of those three seemed a good fit right now. Another option was the guy they called ‘Just Vegeta’, but he’d just turned 16 and wasn’t ready for the rough-and-tumble of the senior game just yet.

Looking at his squad, Rook Cathar got the feeling he could have done more in the transfer window. Having won the league two seasons ago he knew his job wasn’t in immediate danger, but getting to the end of the season without succumbing to a total disaster would be quite the task.

Matchday 16
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 Excelsior Zijweg
1830 Cathair 0–0 KT Laranjauzia
Cazadores Cathair 1–2 Shamrock Cathair
KT Ferramendiak 1–1 KT Moreazerua
CdF Celtade 2–2 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
AC Izotz Zubia 1–0 Bombarralense
AS Marcadia 0–0 Osarese Marcadia

…whistle has blown at El Ruedo, let’s go down to Rubio Sanchez at the stadium. Rubio.
“Thanks Jeremy. The East/West Cathair Derby has ended and it has gone to form, but Caza did not go down without a fight. A keenly contested first half saw Creidne Lindauer rattle the crossbar from a header. Tutayan terrorized the Shamrock full-backs, almost scored himself on thirty minutes, and finally set up Lindauer for the go-ahead goal on forty.
Caza came out after half-time looking confident but Rosewing’s goal on fifty-two minutes took the wind out of their sails, shooting low into the bottom corner and under Theold Bracewell, who was furious with himself and letting the ball squirm under his body. Within five minutes it was two for Shamrock, Sho Itō with the probing pass, Thor Møller with the control and the lay-off to Colm O’Tuathail, and the Kelssek winger curled the ball neatly round Bracewell for 2-1. Caza rallied, Shamrock countered, and Corby Wheeler almost put the cherry on the cake at the end. It finishes 2-1, Shamrock’s woes may be over, they go up to fourh and, with three games in hand over 1830 Cathair they could be top by the mid-season break. Zozi will have something to say about that tomorrow when they play Bomba. Full time. 2-1 Shamrock Cathair.

Matchday 17
Bombarralense 4–3 AS Marcadia
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–0 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Moreazerua 1–0 CdF Celtade
Shamrock Cathair 4–2 KT Ferramendiak
KT Laranjauzia 5–6 Cazadores Cathair
Excelsior Zijweg 2–1 1830 Cathair

Let’s just take a minute here to appreciate that we’re in one of the worst runs of any 1830 Cathair team in recent memory. There had been a victory for the Elders between the defeats to Sicurezza and Shamrock, but they followed the Shammers debacle with a dreadful 0-0 draw at home to KT Laranjauzia and, this weekend, a 2–1 reverse against newly promoted Excelsior Zijweg. The side have no long-term injury worries but are struggling with a number of players missing a match here or there with some sort of niggle and lacking sharpness on their return. Most notably of this group is Pristina Shine suffering two muscle injuries over Cathair’s opening weeks and struggling in front of goal since. Wingers Medal and Koerner remain in fine fettle, but with Dean Sharp sidelined, Shine off form and Aymeric Fortin struggling to shake off an illness, the onus is on Shakira Handris to perform. Its Handris’s goal that opens the scoring against Excelsior, but the Poafmersian wastes two opportunities early in the second half before Zijweg hit back through Lyndis. Handris turns provider, creating a golden chance for Liam Armstrong with a perfectly weighted pass through defence, but Armstrong can only find the keeper’s knees and Excelsior, full of confidence, counter-attack themselves to a 2-1 lead that they will not give up.
 Elsewhere, Cazadores have taken their first win since matchday nine, but boy were they made to earn it. 2-0 up after ten minutes through Toscani and Lindauer, 2-2 after twenty-five minutes, then 4-2 down at the break as Alessandro Juliana starts pulling the strings in midfield, most notably setting up Metan Cordean for number four with a cool flick of the heel.

This must be Rook Cathar’s eighth half-time bollocking in a row, but they still have some sort of effect. Lindauer nods home to reduce the deficit but, in landing, the number seven rolls their ankle. The physio is summoned, the player hobbles to the touchline and, to the utter disgust of every Caza fan in attendance, Gerhard Colvyn takes off his tracksuit.

Colvyn hasn’t scored a single goal thus far this season. The closest he came was an assist for Tutayan that kickstarted Caza’s attempt to rescue some respectability after being 3-0 down to Izotz Zubia at half-time (they lost 4-2). Lindauer, and occasionally one of the Daineris, Aloha or Aranha, have been doing all the heavy lifting on the goal front, which isn’t very much at all right now. It’s with some surprise, then, that fans greet Gerhard Colvyn’s three goals in eighty-one seconds.

The hour mark heralds a corner kick to Cazadores, which Aurelio Saez floats deep. Giorgio Gucci improbably out-jumps Domeka Zabala on the edge of the area to send the ball looping back into the box where Colvyn is arriving to bounce the ball over the keeper with looping header. 4-4. Colvyn trots back to the centre circle. Laranjauzia restart, pass the ball back to the defence under pressure from a terrier-like Gucci, who intercepts a casual pass by Kieran Lorenzen. His own pass is instant and into the path of Colvyn who meets the ball fully twenty-five yards away from the goal. With the Laranjauzia defence scrambling to close the gap, everyone expects Colvyn to take the ball forward, but instead the Brenecian curls a low shot into the bottom corner leaving Iker Saucedo flat-footed in the Laranjauzia goal.

Laranjauzia kick off again, but a long ball forward it easily cut out by Inteali Koranjo, who has space to look up. Tutayan is bursting forward. Perfect. Koranjo’s pass travels around 65 yards and is almost entirely along the ground. Tutayan meets the ball at the corner of the area with the keeper in two minds about whether to come and meet him or stay on his line. Unwisely, he does neither, and Tutayan doesn’t even bother to control the ball, instead laying the ball square into space where he figures a striker is arriving. Colvyn is, indeed, there, yet somehow manages to hit the post with an open net, burying a fortunate rebound for the weirdest, and fastest, hat-trick in National League history.

Having gone from 4-3 up to 6-4 down in the time it takes to poach two eggs and glance at a third, Laranjauzia salvage some dignity from the situation via Galin Alejandro’s 88th minute strike. By that time, the away fans had already given Gerhard Colvyn a new nickname. Yellowstone.

In other news, Shamrock have now won three in a row.

Matchday 18
Cazadores Cathair 3–3 Excelsior Zijweg
KT Ferramendiak 0–0 KT Laranjauzia
CdF Celtade 1–4 Shamrock Cathair
AC Izotz Zubia 2–0 KT Moreazerua
AS Marcadia 3–2 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Osarese Marcadia 1–1 Bombarralense

Make that four. CdF Celtade had a minor turn-around in fortunes that ended the previous week with a commendably narrow away defeat to KT Moreazerua, but they’re utterly outclassed here. Townsend is, simply, off the pace. You can’t give it 100% every game. Physically? Maybe. Mentally? No. Just no. By the twenty-minute mark it’s an exercise in damage limitation. O’Tuathail is unplayable down the left and the unprededictability of Rosewing, coupled with the fact that Thor Møller will *always* score if you give him the ball in the area, means that Finn and the MacCowans have to spend the full ninety minutes suffering. Shamrock are 4-0 up by the hour. Luca Senna side-foots home a consolation late on.

Shamrock are now in second. At the very summit, Zozi win the bigger of the two Herraduran derbies, overcoming KT Moreazerua by two goals to nil - a Thomas Butler strike followed by a late Carrick finish - to inherit the number one spot ahead of a Cathair side who have already reached the halfway point of their season.

Zozi are a point ahead of Shamrock in second. The two will play one another in the final match of the first half of the league season.

Matchday 19
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–1 Osarese Marcadia
KT Moreazerua 1–0 AS Marcadia
Shamrock Cathair 1–1 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Laranjauzia 0–1 CdF Celtade
Excelsior Zijweg 3–3 KT Ferramendiak

The spoils are shared at the Glass Bridge, though it’s the away side, Zozi, who will feel most agrieved at not having taken all three points. With the game poised at 1-1, heading into the final twenty minutes, former Shamrock full-back Jerquaad steals down the right and finds Wilfried Baume in the area. Baume turns, digs the ball out from beneath his feet, runs into a Graentfjaller-sized wall and pokes the ball to Eurico, who somehow manages to put the ball over the bar from eight yards. Eurico is again involved two minutes later, this time breaking into the box, feigning a turn and instead drawing a foul from Ffibwd yTewgneoll who clumsily trips the playmaker up. It is a penalty every day of the week and twice on Sundays, but the referee instead books Eurico for diving.

The resulting melee sees Rohan Cammers sent off. Alexander Crewe becomes the caretaker boss for the second time this season.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             14    8   4   2    25   14  +11    28
 2 Shamrock Cathair           14    8   3   3    22   16   +6    27
 3 1830 Cathair               14    7   4   3    28   17  +11    25
 4 KT Itzalovalle             14    7   4   3    25   19   +6    25
 5 KT Moreazerua              14    7   4   3    21   16   +5    25
 6 Excelsior Zijweg           14    5   6   3    26   21   +5    21
 7 Bombarralense              14    5   4   5    25   25    0    19
 8 Cazadores Cathair          14    5   3   6    22   25   −3    18
 9 Osarese Marcadia           14    4   5   5    18   21   −3    17
10 KT Ferramendiak            14    4   4   6    30   33   −3    16
11 Oljestaden IF              14    4   3   7    17   21   −4    15
12 CdF Celtade                14    4   3   7    16   21   −5    15
13 AS Marcadia                14    4   3   7    18   24   −6    15
14 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      14    3   3   8    18   31  −13    12
15 KT Laranjauzia             14    1   5   8    12   19   −7     8

Halfway through the season, we finally come across a league table that tells us something about the season we’re watching. Pretty much every pundit worth their salt had predicted the ‘big six’ to be at the top, Oljestaden, Bomba and OM to be fighting for the Challengers Cup spots and the rest to be fighting relegation, and while that’s roughly what we’ve got, there are still a few surprises here and there.

In sixth place, Excelsior Zijweg are, ooh, eight places further up the table than anyone figured they had any right to be, while Caza sitting in eighth place, six points shy of fifth, is a shock that makes Rook Cathar’s seat a little looser, if not in danger of collapsing any time soon despite the man’s weight. Below, Oljestaden IF are sitting on four wins from fourteen games - they’ve been rididculously inconsistent.

At the top, Zozi and Shamrock lead the way, with Cathair, Itzi and Mozi well within striking distance and with a gap ahead of Excelsior in third. Towards the foot of the table, KT Laranjauzia are in huge trouble, having dug themselves seven points deep into the automatic relegation places. The side’s only win came early on against a Sicurezza side that, while sweating nervously, are still confident of staying up, while Marcadia and Celtade will spend much of the season looing over their shoulder.

by **Audioslavia** » Sat Oct 24, 2020 6:35 pm

Bombarralense Os Bombardeiros
Estadio das Trevas, (Cap: 17500). Bombarral, Lusitâninha

Domestic Honours - 0
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Uolleys (31, G , DAI)
2. Ortzi Iarzagarai (31, D/M RC, AUD)
3. Muuna Kentar (37, D L, MRN)
4. Maxil Girou (35, D C, MRN)
5. Szescõ Erôss (19, D C, PAS)
6. Beck Clayborn (31, D C, BRE)
7. Max Rizzo (24, M/F L, CBP)
8. Tray Mohaupt (27, M C, SPM)
9. Archnique Henderson (22, F C, AUD)
10. Martí Calderon (27, F C, TEQ)
11. Rylan Bishop (21, M L, TKT)
12. Daczibog Ketadzic (32, D C, SRS)
13. Jacob Marley (27, DM C, MUR)
14. Cody Fraser (33, M C, AUD)
15. Leandro Mexilões (17, M/F CR, AUD)
16. Jinpachi Mishima (28, G/D/DM C, HIN)
17. Robbie Bailey (25, M LC, AUD)
18. Victor Collar (32, F C, AUD)
19. Jordi Valeri (28, M RCL, AUD)
21. Antoni Moigne (21, AM R, AUD)
23. David Africa (25, G , AUD)
Mng. Guillem Rodas (41, D/M L, AUD)

Bomba, from their name to their kit to their octopus mascot, are weird as hell. Their twelve-nation ‘WA-select’ squad contains Murphtannian wingers, Mrii pyschoes, confederate memesters, Hinodejin keeper-cum-defeders, Brenecian journeymen, Pasargan wunderkinds and Cody Fraser. Their formation changes from week to week. Their only consistency is that, since they were first promoted to the National League, they have been Proper Good.

Seventh in their first season, seventh in their second season (plus qualification for the VCI) and sixth last season, including a place in the Challengers’ Cup which they are fully taking advantage of. As things stand they are through to the last sixteen, having traversed a group that included Sterling, Other Sabrefell and Baskita.

The Bombers are often mentioned in the same breath as Fabio Mancini’s Osarese Marcadia due to their similar colours, their having come up to the top flight one after the other and entrenched themselves in the mid-table together. Bomba, though, have stolen a yard on their southern brothers, and will hope to do their bit to arrest Shamrock’s march.

Matchday 22
Oljestaden IF 0–2 1830 Cathair
Excelsior Zijweg 0–1 AS Marcadia
KT Laranjauzia 1–1 Osarese Marcadia
Shamrock Cathair 1–2 Bombarralense
KT Moreazerua 1–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi

Bomba are as weird as Shamrock are strong, and it’s that that gives them the edge. Daczibog Ketadzic, a Squornshelan Remnant famed in his home country for somehow becoming his team’s top goalscorer despite being a centre-half, is played up front. He’s spent most of his time at Bomba as a third choice at the back, but in starting as a striker he seems to have found his calling. His size and strength and ability to trample opposition players in slow-motion is somehow too much for Shamrock, who are without BFG Viðar Adriansson and the experienced Txomin Lacouague, leaving an off-form Jawallawalla and an inexperienced yTewgneoll to collectively fail to do anything about the enormous red number twelve.

With AC Izotz Zubia starting an extended break, this was Shamrock’s chance to create a gap at the top. Instead, they remain second, and 1830 Cathair close the gap with an away win at Oljestaden IF.

KT Itzalovalle Itzi
The Antzerkia, (Cap: 48000). Ferramendiak, Herradura

Domestic Honours - 1
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Echepare Rospide (22, G , ASG)
2. Jerónimo Marzan (22, D/M RL, AUD)
3. Anxo Osorio (28, D RL, AUD)
4. Moses Moxey (21, M C, AUD)
5. Alejandro Consuegra (21, D C, AUD)
6. Garai Echevarrieta (22, D C, AUD)
7. Arial Skidoomacher (25, DM C, AUD)
8. Wilhelm Nkitilina (23, F C, TAE)
9. Gabirel Zozaia (23, F C, AUD)
10. Dreigiau Parrish (23, AM C, BRE)
11. Gabirel Oteiza (25, M RL, AUD)
13. Zakuty (24, F C, DAI)
14. Jiskastnya (24, F C, DAI)
15. Laurentzi Arenaza (24, M L, AUD)
16. Xabat Legarza (24, M C, AUD)
17. Vilca Hualla (23, M L, TEQ)
18. Eneko Burionagonatotorecagageazcoechea (18, M CR, AUD)
19. Elis Løvland (23, D L, FFD)
20. Reynard Salama (19, D C, EFL)
21. Theo Cosumar (24, D RL, AUD)
22. Vianca (26, G , DAI)
23. Thiago Vinas (30, AM L, AUD)
Mng. Arnoud Koolhaas (39, D C, AUD)

Matchday 23
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 4–6 Shamrock Cathair
Bombarralense 3–5 KT Laranjauzia
Osarese Marcadia 2–3 Excelsior Zijweg
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 Oljestaden IF
1830 Cathair 2–1 KT Itzalovalle

You remember matchday nineteen when Itzi were on 25 points and well within touching distance of the title? It’s now matchday 23 and Itzi are on 25 points and seemingly going nowhere. They put up a fight against 1830 Cathair, as they usually do, but as usual they’re just… not good enough.

There was a dark period in Itzi’s life where they got relegated, leaving Cathair and Zozi as the only two teams never to have dropped out of the top flight. The next season, out of ten teams in the second tier, they finished seventh. They were just woeful.

Ager Alaba changed all that. The likeable Astograthian took the side by the scruff of the neck, put them on a proverbial coathanger, waggled his finger in front of them and gave the team a thorough telling off. While it was feeling sorry for itself, he changed their culture, got rid of the dross, found a tall young man called Moses Moxey and built a proper, working football team around him.

It’s amazing to remember that Moxey is only 21. All one metre ninety-something of him seems to have been around since the stone age. He remains at Itzi, despite interest from elsewhere, and these days supports the likes of Dreigiau Parrish, Wilhelm Nkitilina, Vilca Hualla and Gabirel Zozaia. But not Ager Alaba.

Alaba’s departure opened the door for Arnoud Koolhaas to take charge last season, and the young boss took his Itzi side to fourth place - admittedly two places lower than where Alaba had taken them, and still fourteen points behind Alaba’s new team, Zozi, in third, but still. Itzi were cementing themselves as one of the elite.

This seasonn they’ve remained there or thereabouts, but that early season IFCF non-event of a campaign hit the side’s morale hard. Two games in the Champions League. Two defeats. Two games in the Challengers’ Cup. Two defeats.

Koolhaas has been forgiven by the board, if not the fans, and has been given more time, but one gets the feeling that this Itzi team should be much further north in the table than they are. A change of manager at the season’s end may be inevitable if he can’t at least get his side to the Champions League again - and ideally stay there for longer than two games next season.

PARRISH! It’s there! It’s one-nil! Koolhaas’s men have taken the lead after just two minutes! Cazadores look stunned, in truth they looked half asleep. What *is* happening with this team? Menez slow, nowhere near his man, the Vilca Hualla has all the time and space he needs to pick out the pass, and he finds Dreigiau Parrish to slot home for 1-0.
1-0 to Shamrock after four minutes, this is *exactly* the start they were looking for, it’s Thor Møller with the attempt, blocked by Rospide but Archer Andrews isn’t going to let that opportunity pass by. 1-0, and are we going to see a *five point gap* open up at the top of the table?
The table isn’t looking good for Caza at all. Eighth place as things stand, out of even the Challengers Cup places when, really, you’d expect them to be well in contention for the Champions League.
..Champions League places with that goal! Moreazerua’s equaliser, it’s that man again Koenraad Rijsbergen, he’s found space, he’s escaped the attentions of Albofokh there and that’s 1-1.
1-1? No! Excellent save from Rospide and it’s cleared away by Consuegra, Itzi living dangerously here. Tutayan was *so* close to the equaliser
..since the equaliser you have to say Moreazerua have had the better of this game, Shamrock looking frustrated. Konoval and Asterisk and Konovaal putting a shift in
..shifts the ball wide to Tutayan, he’s got Menez on the overlap, and that cross is cut-out by Moxey and there’s danger here on the counter, Moxey to Zozaia who will run at this defence, Caza are in disarray here! It’s through to Nkitilina! Nkitilina! Goal! 2-0! No! No the linesman is flagging. Oh that’s a close call. As the ball is played… as the ball is played he *looks* onside…
Onside says the linesman! Mozi are through here! I’s Bazterrikaaaaaa 2-1 Mozi! They’ve turned this one around inside the first half…
Start of the second half Cazadores in all black attacking the goal to your right…
…right into the path of Corby Wheeler and he’s got Andrews to his right! He’s Andrews! It’s Andrewwwws no! It flashes past the post. Shamrock starting brightly in the second half..
…second goal to Itzalovalle but that is an *excellent* stop from Theold Bracewell. He’s had his critics this season but, against most other goalkeepers, that might have been a goal
GOAL! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? And it’s a *disaster* here in West Cathair. Koenraad Rijsbergen on the bounce, he’s thirty yards from goal and that is a *screamer*. 3-1, and can Moreazerua go into *second* place….
..places the ball down, we’re 25 yards from goal here, it’s within range for Toscani. It will be Toscani.. over the bar…
…off the bar! And the rebound! It’s 4-1! It’s *Four One*. Shamrock have fallen apart here in the second half, the fans are furious, but it’s a hat-trick for Rijsbergen, Morezerua are going to move up to second place…
..down to eighth place unless they can get *something* here, it’s *all* Cazadores as we move into injury time. It’s Gucci, Gucci to Aranha the substitute, Aranha to Lindauer, Lindauer! Lindauer can’t get the shot away and Itzalovalle will come away with it. Coolly and calmly done there by Moses Moxey. Itzalovalle are on the verge of arresting their losing streak…
…their winning streak is over but this looks like it could be a consolation, it’s Rod Gordon… goal. A speck of a consolation. Shamrock will remain top, but Moreazerua have mugged them here.
Full time. Cazadores have been beaten by, frankly, the better side here. They cannot seem to pick themselves up…
Full time. Boos ring out at the Glass Bridge stadium. Final score, Shamrock Cathair 2, KT Moreazerua *4*.

Matchday 24
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 Cazadores Cathair
Oljestaden IF 2–1 KT Ferramendiak
Excelsior Zijweg 1–1 Bombarralense
KT Laranjauzia 1–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Shamrock Cathair 2–4 KT Moreazerua

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           19   11   3   5    36   28   +8    36
 2 KT Moreazerua              18   10   5   3    28   19   +9    35
 3 AC Izotz Zubia             16   10   4   2    27   14  +13    34
 4 1830 Cathair               16    9   4   3    32   18  +14    31
 5 Excelsior Zijweg           19    7   7   5    33   26   +7    28
 6 KT Itzalovalle             17    8   4   5    27   23   +4    28
 7 Bombarralense              19    6   5   8    32   36   −4    23
 8 Cazadores Cathair          16    6   3   7    23   26   −3    21

Salvador Monterroso hadn’t slept. That had been the case since he was a kid the night before 1830 Cathair and Cazadores Cathair were due to play one another. As a kid, that usually meant the big blue bully coming over, hitting four past his beloved Caza and heading back towards the city, their fans wiping their feet and breathing a sigh of relief as soon as they boarded the train back to Grand Forum Station.

Even now, aged 30, a professional footballer since he was 18, always at his local club, he didn’t like 1830 Cathair. He didn’t like the idea that they were allowed to just turn up in their stadium. It was like Darth Vader just rocking up to the rebel base for a friendly game of chess. You don’t belong here god damnit.

Salvador had fought his way back into the Cazadores team over the last two years. At least, that’s what his mum told him. The reality was that he’d lost his starting spot soon after Inteali Koranjo had arrived, and had only gained it back once Jirjii Januaa had retired. Koranjo was still the guy, though. Arguably the finest young centre-half in the world. Salvador was just there to be big, get in the way and ensure Koranjo only had to be in three places at once, rather than five.

He felt a pat on his shoulder. His old friend Aurelio Saez, another player who’d spent all their career at Caza and were now the wrong side of thirty, gave him a quick ‘let’s do this’. Ahead, Iago Cacho lead the team out onto the field.

Iago, as a defensive mid, was always at the centre of Caza’s play, and so it made sense to give him the captaincy. Though six years younger than Salvador and not a local lad - he’d been born down the coast in Celta - Iago was a definite for the team sheet and would be for years to come, while Salvador and Aurelio were, to put it harshly, replaceable. Iago was a first-teamer for Audioslavia. Aurelio had only made a couple of appearances. Salvador once got mentioned in the same breath as the national team, but the phone call had never come. Now he was 30, it never would. He didn’t begrudge Iago the captaincy, but he and everyone knew that Iago wasn’t quite the guy. He couldn’t bring a performance out of you that you didn’t know was there already. In truth, nobody in this team was truly a captain. Lindauer played her own game. Koranjo was too young. Hardcheese too weird. Menez too boring.

Iago elected to kick off, and as Creidne and Toscani stood over the ball Salvador got the chance to look over the opposition. Aymeric Fortin and Shakira Handris lead the line, Liam Armstrong was there next to Stani Grōss, with Steve Erickson just in front and then that man Thorsten Kramer seemingly staring right back at Salvador. No sign of Xaime Medal or Anselm Koerner. Cathair were going to play it down the middle and rely on the full-backs for the width, which was perhaps why Andries Nijland, a former winger, was at right-back instead of the less mobile (these days) Leona Rafford. Trfon Vlahilades was twirling his moustache on the other side. At the back, Cathair had gone with experience. Niko Szubanski had seen everything as a centre-half, and he was right next to Ko-oren’s Minne van Schelven. Behind those two, Goran Stroud was jumping on the spot, bringing his knees up to his chest, shaking himself loose.

This was it. The hardest game of the season. The one with the most at stake for the fans. Caza versus Cathair. Bring it on.

…and it’s a second corner for Cathair already, sliced behind from Monterroso and Cazadores look nervous. Tryfon Vlahilades will curl it in, Monterroso is there with the header, it’s out to Szubanski. Szubanski to Vlahilades who’ll take on Menez and he’s through! Danger here! It’s Vlahilades to Handris! Handriiiiiiis wide! A little warning there for Cazadores, Cathair are in the hunt for the title…
…title a few years ago, but they’ve been so poor at times this season. Directionless even oh, mistake from Monterroso! Fortin is through! Fortin’s through on goal! It’s 1-0 Cathair! Oh my word what was Monterroso thinking? He feints left, turns, he goes to play a pass out to the flank but he’s so slow and Fortin steals it. That’s *such* a soft goal to concede…
…concede again here as Fortin breaks through! Fortin lays it off to Erickson. Erickson with the cross but that’s cleared from Monterroso…
…tackle that is by Monterroso! Kramer would have been through there but the big Cazadores centre-half has it, and it’s out to Saez…
…Saez with the corner kick, Caza edging themselves back into this game now. The corner’s hit long, there’s Koranjo with the header but that’s into the arms of Stroud…
…save from Stroud! Oh that was almost 1-1! The first touch from Lindauer gives the Brenecian some space and that’s hit well but tipped round the post. Corner to Cazadores…
…another corner to Cazadores, they’re piling on the pressure here, late in the first half. Saez to take, whipped in and that’s cleared by Szubanski… back in from Toscani and… and they need to get that away and AND IT”S IN! GOAL CAZADORES! I didn’t see who that was?! It’s the number five! It’s Monterroso! 1-1! It’s as you were and Salvador Monterroso has made up for his horrendous error early on…

Salvador was shaking as he took a seat in the changing room. The nervous energy from early in the game hadn’t really gone away, and in fact had been replaced, temporarily, by *pure* adrenaline. For a second he tried to think when the last time he scored a goal had been. Three cycles ago? Four?

He glanced up and saw Rook Cathar looking down at him. The two shared a silent nod. No congratulations on the goal, no recrimonations about his stupid mistake. You broke it, you put it back together, I trust you, we move on.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, turned and saw Gerhard Colvyn, still in his tracksuit.
“Good goal, mate” said the Brenecian. “But next time Fortin takes the ball from you, break his fucking…”

…balls like that into the box more often, Caza might not be so far down the table, but Lindauer couldn’t find the finish, the Brenecian will be furious with himself. Still 1-1 here…
…almost makes it 2-1! It’s a sweetly hit strike from Kramer but…
…but that’s saved from Stroud! An audacious leap from Monterroso but the header is straight down Stroud’s throat…
…will be hard to swallow for this Cathair team fighting for another champinship. Still 1-1 as we roll into the final ten minutes…
…final five minutes now, heres Monterroso, he has the attention of Aymeric Fortin and… pfff that’s dangerous, but the balls forward to Cacho… yes… yes Rook Cathar you have every right to be stood up and yelling like that, Monterroso’s made that mistake before. Gerhard Colvyn looks to be coming off the bench. Lindauer does look tired, it’s been a frustrting evening for the striker… here’s Lindauer now. Tutayan. Tutayan forward, pass to Cacho, to Lindauer, Gucci! Great play! LINDAUER! GOAL! GOAL! GOAL CAZADORES! And from nothing, from nowhere, Cazadores Cathair are in the lead! Quick passing play down the middle, Lindauer screams for the return pass, it’s one touch, it’s a swing of the boot and that’s straight into the bottom corner with Stroud beaten!
…final moments here! Here’s Kramer! Kramer bursting forward, Kramer to Armstrong! Armstrong! HANDRIS! AND IT”S BACK TO KRAMERRR… blocked! What a block that is! Kramer’s shot, he’s only ten yards from goal but Salvador Monterroso has *launched* himself in fromt of the ball and it’s deflected off his… well it’s off his bum isn’t it, Clive?

At the full-time whistle, Salvador punches the ground hard, grabs a handful of dirt, holds it to the sky and shouts a loud AAAAAAA at nobody in particular. He briefly considers thinking about how much his arse hurts before he’s hug-tackled to the ground by Aurelio Saez.

Yes, Caza are kind of shit, but balls to it, they’re better than 1830 Cathair for today at least.

Matchday 25
KT Moreazerua 1–1 KT Laranjauzia
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–3 Excelsior Zijweg
CdF Celtade 1–2 Oljestaden IF
KT Ferramendiak 1–2 KT Itzalovalle
Cazadores Cathair 2–1 1830 Cathair

Matchday 26
1830 Cathair 1–0 KT Ferramendiak
KT Itzalovalle 1–1 CdF Celtade
Oljestaden IF 2–0 AC Izotz Zubia
Excelsior Zijweg 2–1 KT Moreazerua
KT Laranjauzia 3–5 Shamrock Cathair

Rohan Cammers stands with his hands on his hips. A bruised and battered Shamrock team are strewn around him, exhausted. An hour previous, roughly the same team had come into the same dressing room and listened to Rohan Cammers seemingly list every expletive and insult in the entire English language and designate each one appropriately to each according to their need. Had it worked? Or had Laranjauzia simply remembered at half-time that they weren’t the second coming of Yuba United? Either way, Shamrock had hit five goals without reply in the second forty-five.

Rohan let the room quieten down, called everyone a lucky bastard and then told them the result of the Oljestaden vs Zozi game.

The Shamrock players recovered some of their energy after that.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           20   12   3   5    41   31  +10    39
 2 KT Moreazerua              20   10   6   4    30   22   +8    36
 3 1830 Cathair               18   10   4   4    34   20  +14    34
 4 AC Izotz Zubia             17   10   4   3    27   16  +11    34
—
 5 Excelsior Zijweg           21    9   7   5    38   28  +10    34
 6 KT Itzalovalle             19    9   5   5    30   25   +5    32
 7 Oljestaden IF              20    8   3   9    25   26   −1    27
—
 8 Cazadores Cathair          17    7   3   7    25   27   −2    24
 9 Bombarralense              19    6   5   8    32   36   −4    23
10 AS Marcadia                17    6   3   8    21   25   −4    21
11 Osarese Marcadia           18    4   7   7    24   30   −6    19
—
12 KT Ferramendiak            17    4   4   9    32   38   −6    16
13 CdF Celtade                17    4   4   9    18   27   −9    16
—
14 KT Laranjauzia             21    3   7  11    23   32   −9    16
15 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      19    4   3  12    26   43  −17    15

by **Audioslavia** » Wed Nov 11, 2020 7:19 am

Matchday 29
Bombarralense 2–1 Oljestaden IF
Osarese Marcadia 2–1 KT Itzalovalle
AC Izotz Zubia 0–0 Cazadores Cathair
CdF Celtade 0–3 KT Ferramendiak

Wednesday night. 1830 Cathair vs Raynor City United. Two of the biggest teams in Atlantian Oceania going head-to-head in the AOCL Final. Thorsten Kramer’s opener, Goran Stroud’s error, Aymeric Fortin’s netbursting equaliser, substitute Niko Szubanski rising at the far-post to make it 3-2, Niko Szubanski failing to keep pace with the RCU winger to concede the 3-3 goal, before Xaime Medal’s 85th minute winner, curled sumptuously round the keeper and into the far corner. Another glittering silver trophy, another accodlate for 1830 Cathair manager Lee Sharp to add to his name.

Thursday night. A post-game press conference. A *victory* press conference. And Lee Sharp takes all of the oxygen out of the room with his announcement. Come the end of the season, he’ll be gone from the Arena Kirola.

Saturday afternoon. Pre-game press conference. None of the questions are about Sunday’s opponents, struggling AS Marcadia. Everything is Sharp. Where? Why? When? When exactly? Son Dean? Also gone. Grandson Alex? On the books aged 16? Staying. Lee says its not up to him. Lee tries to shift the conversation towards AS Marcadia, but the journalists aren’t having it.

Sunday afternoon.

AS Marcadia 4–2 1830 Cathair

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           21   13   3   5    44   32  +12    42
 2 AC Izotz Zubia             20   11   5   4    29   17  +12    38
 3 1830 Cathair               21   11   4   6    37   25  +12    37
 4 KT Moreazerua              20   10   6   4    30   22   +8    36
 5 KT Itzalovalle             22   10   5   7    34   30   +4    35
 6 Excelsior Zijweg           23    9   7   7    42   35   +7    34
 7 Oljestaden IF              23    8   5  10    30   32   −2    29
 8 Cazadores Cathair          20    8   4   8    30   34   −4    28
 9 Bombarralense              20    7   5   8    34   37   −3    26
10 AS Marcadia                20    7   4   9    29   33   −4    25
11 Osarese Marcadia           20    5   8   7    27   32   −5    23
12 CdF Celtade                20    6   4  10    26   34   −8    22
13 KT Ferramendiak            19    5   4  10    35   39   −4    19
14 KT Laranjauzia             22    4   7  11    27   35   −8    19
15 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      19    4   3  12    26   43  −17    15

At the top, it is tight.

Shamrock Cathair lead. They’re four points ahead of Zozi having played one game more, meaning the league is, once again, theirs to lose. Cathair drop to third with their defeat, five points behind, and will need to maximise their points over their final seven games in order to take the title. Maximum points would take them to 58 - typically a points total large enough to finish first or second, though last season would have netted them fourth place. Well, technically third, as they themselves won the league last year.

In mid-table, Cazadores are 8-4-8 and eighth. Their zero-all tie with Zozi is a commendable result, but does not take them any closer to relevance this year.

Matchday 31
KT Moreazerua 1–2 Oljestaden IF
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
Bombarralense 0–1 1830 Cathair
Osarese Marcadia 3–7 Cazadores Cathair
AS Marcadia 0–1 KT Ferramendiak

Dear Mr. Cathar.

We are sorry we threw pee at you.

We have decided that your identity is indeed, as hitherto suspected, our lord and saviour Sir Rook of Cathair.

Yours sincerely,

Cazadores fans

Rook Cathar puts the letter back in his pocket and waits for the journalists to stop laughing.

Over in Bombarral, 1830 Cathair win out by a goal to nil to keep the pressure on their rivals - they go a point behind Shamrock, albeit having played two extra games.

Cathair are third in the table. A day later, they’re second.

AC Izotz Zubia 1–3 CdF Celtade

Celtade have only won seven games thus far, but two of those have now come against an AC Izotz Zubia side who will be happy to see the back of them. Senna and Escandon are dangerous throughout, with Rosa and Serra’s supply lines the source of all three second-half goals. Finn Townsend’s ferocity and organizational skills dominate the pre-game coverage, but it’s a muted performance from the captain, whose role is simply to set the groundwork for his team-mates.

Employed as a make-shift right-back, teenage sensation Carmelo MacCowan, the youngest of the three brothers, is praised for his tenacity and ability to make life difficult for his opponents despite being a scrawny wee scamp.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           21   13   3   5    44   32  +12    42
 2 1830 Cathair               23   12   5   6    39   26  +13    41
 3 AC Izotz Zubia             22   12   5   5    32   20  +12    41
 4 KT Itzalovalle             24   11   6   7    36   31   +5    39
 5 KT Moreazerua              21   10   6   5    31   24   +7    36
 6 Excelsior Zijweg           23    9   7   7    42   35   +7    34
 7 Oljestaden IF              25    9   5  11    32   34   −2    32
 8 Cazadores Cathair          22    9   4   9    37   38   −1    31
 9 AS Marcadia                22    8   4  10    30   34   −4    28
10 Bombarralense              22    7   6   9    35   39   −4    27
11 CdF Celtade                21    7   4  10    29   35   −6    25
12 Osarese Marcadia           22    5   9   8    31   40   −9    24
13 KT Ferramendiak            21    6   4  11    36   41   −5    22
14 KT Laranjauzia             22    4   7  11    27   35   −8    19
15 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      21    5   3  13    27   44  −17    18

Time is quickly running out for KT Itzalovalle, who are relying on a series of disasters from their rivals in order to mount a serious title challenge. Itzi have just four games left in the season and will need to win each one.

Oljestaden IF are in a similar predicament, needing maximise their points from their three remaining games to keep them above Cazadores who, despite being in the middle of their most forgettable season in recent memory (at least we assume so, it’s difficult for more forgettable seasons to stay in recent memory), are only a point back with three games in hand and are the bookies’ pick for at least the final Challengers Cup spot.

At the bottom, Celtade once again drag themselves out of the relegation playoff spots. Osarese Marcadia, surprisingly, fall into them. Fabio Mancini’s men have drawn almost half their games this season, converting three points into one with alarming regularity. The side were gunning for the Challengers’ Cup at one point, but have long since abandoned hopes for IFCF football next season.

At the very bottom, Calcio Sicurezza Elfi have won only twice since the break, are four points adrift of the playoff spots, and have become the favourites for the drop.

Caza
…underway here with Shamrock, in green, going from left to right. Oljestaden, wearing light blue, attacking the goal to your left…
…left Naim Nabhani for dead there, it’s Vlahilades with the cross… out by Pettersen, only as far as Koerner… and KOERNER! Off the post! And it’s away! Sicurezza survive, but for how long will they be able to…
…able to shrug off the attentions of Beck Clayborn who brings him down… penalty! Penalty to Cazadores! Lindauer with the turn, Clayborn is flat-footed and that’s a clumsy challenge. It’ll be Lindauer to take. Uolleys bouncing around on the goal-line, will that faze Lindauer? No. No emphatically not. It looks like the striker was actually trying to hit the keeper with the ball, but Uolleys has helpfully dived to his left to avoid it. 1-0 Cazadores as we go into the 20th minute…
…in the 20th minute, it’s Shamrock who open the scoring! Such an important goal, can their extend their lead at the top of the table? Rosewingwith the strike, it’s 1-0 Shamrock!
…almost 1-0 Cathair but no, that’s an excellent save from Ibrahim Mathisen. Pristina Shine can’t quite believe…
…can’t quite believe what’s happened here, Monterroso… what is he doing? It’s a headed backpass but it’s *so* short, and it’s a gift for Archnique Henderson who blasts it home. 1-1 here at El Ruedo! Cazadores will kick off again. Bombarralense are somehow back in this…
…this is a great chance, it’s MØLLER! 2-0! 2-0 Shamrock after only forty minutes! Driven hard into the area, it’s the gentlest of flicks but it takes the ball past Castillo, and Shamrock have doubled their lead…
…take the lead here but no, that’s another good save from Mathisen. Cathair knocking on the door here but CSE are pretending they aren’t in. Corner to Cathair..
Corner to Cazadores. It’s whipped in by Gucci, back out by Erôss, only as far as Adrian Toscani who heads it back in… but it’s cleared away. Toscani’s down… yeah he it looks like he may have landed awkwardly. So close to half-time the boss may try to see if he can walk this one off…
…will walk off at half-time with a three-nothing lead. Is this their moment? Are they going to be the champions once again? Colm O'Tuathail the provider, Møller the scorer again. Shamrock three, Oljestaden zero as we go into half-time…
…second half commences with 1830 Cathair still in search of the go-ahead goal…
…second half commences with a change for Cazadores Cathair. Toscani is off, and we have an appearance from young Quebecois Kepler Marcel Gouveia de Souza, just turned sixteen years of age… very recently it appears. On the back of his shirt there appaears to be… ‘Just Vegeta’. Interesting…
…goal! A reply by Oljestaden! It’s Cocoabo 91 and this might make the second half interesting…
..Thorsten Kramer to Koerner, Koerner back to Kramer, Kramer probing, he finds Fortin! It’s FORTIN! No! off the post, and it’s away from Santiago Canez, and Sicurezza survive another wave of Catharan attacks…
…attacks down the left, here’s Vegeta, that’s a blistering turn of pace, it’s through for Creidne Lindauer! Saved by Uolleys! Lindauer again! Saved again! Oh, that was so close to being 2-1…
3-2! It’s 3-2 and it’s Santiago Santiago! The full-back meets the clearance full on, it’s a *thunderous* strike and McFarland is well beaten, and all of a sudden we have a game on our hands!
GOAL! GOAL! It’s unbelieveable! It’s Indra Söderström! Collecting the ball on the left, they blaze past Leona Rafford. Dennis Våge is arriving into the box but Indra doesn’t need him. I don’t think Stroud was expecting a near-post finish like that, it’s 1-0 to Calcio Sicurezza Elfi, it’s against the run of play, and who could have predicted…
…who could have predicted this? It’s Shamrock Cathair three, Oljestaden IF three! Shamrock have blown their lead! It’s Kasperi Otaleinen, the Savojar, and have Shamrock thrown away a golden opportunity here…
…here’s Vegeta again, he tries from distance OH WHAT A GOAL! From twenty-five yards, it’s curled into the top corner, and have Cazadores unearthed a diamond here! 2-1 Caza!
4-3! 4-3 Oljestaden! And Shamrock really have thrown this one away! It’s Cocoabo 91 once more!
1830 Cathair have created nothing since going behind, it’s looking bleak for the champions here. Only Shamrock’s capitulation is going to keep them in the title race, and speaking of which…
5-3. Shamrock have utterly, utterly fallen apart. Sep Ros the scorer, and this throws the title race wide open

Matchday 32
CdF Celtade 2–0 AS Marcadia
KT Ferramendiak 0–2 Osarese Marcadia
Cazadores Cathair 2–1 Bombarralense
1830 Cathair 0–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Oljestaden IF 5–3 Shamrock Cathair

Matchday 33
KT Laranjauzia 1–1 Oljestaden IF
Shamrock Cathair 3–0 KT Itzalovalle
KT Moreazerua 1–1 1830 Cathair
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–0 Cazadores Cathair
Bombarralense 3–0 KT Ferramendiak
Osarese Marcadia 1–0 CdF Celtade
AS Marcadia 1–3 AC Izotz Zubia

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           23   14   3   6    50   37  +13    45
 2 AC Izotz Zubia             23   13   5   5    35   21  +14    44
 3 1830 Cathair               25   12   6   7    40   28  +12    42
 4 KT Moreazerua              23   11   7   5    33   25   +8    40
 5 KT Itzalovalle             26   11   6   9    36   35   +1    39
 6 Oljestaden IF              27   10   6  11    38   38    0    36
 7 Excelsior Zijweg           23    9   7   7    42   35   +7    34
 8 Cazadores Cathair          24   10   4  10    39   40   −1    34
 9 Bombarralense              24    8   6  10    39   41   −2    30
10 Osarese Marcadia           24    7   9   8    34   40   −6    30
11 CdF Celtade                23    8   4  11    31   36   −5    28
12 AS Marcadia                24    8   4  12    31   39   −8    28
13 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      23    7   3  13    29   44  −15    24
14 KT Ferramendiak            23    6   4  13    36   46  −10    22
15 KT Laranjauzia             23    4   8  11    28   36   −8    20

Nobody at Shamrock can account for their spectacular climbdown against Oljestaden IF, but the side bounce back the next week to officially end KT Itzalovalle’s title hopes which were, admittedly, only mathematical after their home defeat to KT Moreazerua. Nobody has really taken Mozi as a serious title threat all season, but the side have been terribly difficult to beat, losing only five times in 23 games, and with the second best defensive record in the league. With Shamrock faltering and also going deep into the Champions League, nobody is writing off any of the teams except, perhaps, 1830 Cathair.

The Elders have three games left in their season. Three wins will take them to 51 points. They would need both Shamrock and Zozi to lose at least three or their final five matches in order to have a hope of winning the title.

In the middle, Cazadores are still plodding away in mid-table, just outside the Challengers’ Cup places. With Oljestaden having gone on a tear, their chances of IFCF football next season are looking less certain.

At the bottom, two wins for CSE lift them out of the automatic relegation places. The final relegation playoff place could go to any team from AS Marcadia to Bombarralense, while Laranjauzia are looking distinctively doomed at the bottom.

The next two matchdays will be ones to look out for. Two Cathair derbies, with 1830 Cathair taking on Shamrock on matchday thirty-four, with Shamrock hosting Caza the week after.

The end-of-season matchup between Shamrock and Zozi is looking more and more like it will be a title decider.

by **Audioslavia** » Thu Nov 12, 2020 6:24 am

Matchday 34
AC Izotz Zubia 2–2 Osarese Marcadia
CdF Celtade 0–0 Bombarralense
KT Ferramendiak 0–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Cazadores Cathair 1–1 KT Moreazerua
KT Itzalovalle 3–2 KT Laranjauzia
Oljestaden IF 0–0 Excelsior Zijweg

Monday evening’s Cathair derby comes after a bizarre matchday wherein every game bar one ends in a draw. On Friday evening. AC Izotz Zubia rescue a solitary point via a late Carrick strike. The two sides set the trend, with Celtade and Bombarralense sharing a nil-all draw in Saturday’s lunchtime kickoff, before Feri and CSE do the same and Caza and Moreazerua share the only two goals of the day, Caza’s coming through a towering Salvador Monterroso header that just about makes up for the bullshit he’s pulled over the last few weeks.

Sundays games see Oljestaden and Excelsior play out a drab nil-all draw, but only after Itzi and bottom-of-the-table Laranjauzia share five goals between them, with the former climbing to fourth place, albeit with only one game to spare.

Come Monday evening, all eyes are on the Cathair derby to save the weekend.

1830 Cathair 0–0 Shamrock Cathair

Balls.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           24   14   4   6    50   37  +13    46
 2 AC Izotz Zubia             24   13   6   5    37   23  +14    45
 3 1830 Cathair               26   12   7   7    40   28  +12    43
 4 KT Itzalovalle             27   12   6   9    39   37   +2    42
 5 KT Moreazerua              24   11   8   5    34   26   +8    41
 6 Oljestaden IF              28   10   7  11    38   38    0    37
 7 Excelsior Zijweg           24    9   8   7    42   35   +7    35
 8 Cazadores Cathair          25   10   5  10    40   41   −1    35

Here’s the top half of the league table. It’s almost exactly the bloody same except for one fact. 1830 Cathair are almost, *almost* definitely not going to win the league, and Oljestaden IF have now played *all* of their games and, in order to qualify for IFCF football, now require Caza and Excelsior to get less than two points from their final three or four games.

Oljestaden, understandably, go on holiday.

Matchday 35
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 4–1 CdF Celtade
Excelsior Zijweg 1–0 KT Itzalovalle
Bombarralense 0–1 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Laranjauzia 4–5 1830 Cathair
KT Moreazerua 3–2 KT Ferramendiak
Osarese Marcadia 3–2 AS Marcadia

For a team like 1830 Cathair, it’s really not supposed to be *this* hard. After Calcio Sicurezza Elfi’s fightback KT Laranjauzia are eight points adrift at the bottom at kickoff, yet Zorian Linazasoro still manages to open the scoring for the home side.

Cathair hit-back via an annoyed Thorsten Kramer, who scores with a low shot into the corner and sets up Dean Sharp for a second, before Xaime Medal cuts inside and bends a shot into the far corner with the outside of his left foot for 3-1.

1830 Cathair took their foot off the accelerator, and Laranjauzia stole their way back into the game. Alessandro Juliana’s free-kick cannons off a defender’s knee and loops into the top corner with Stroud helpless.

Laranjauzia have the cheek to emerge as the better side after half-time and somehow manage to equalise, Metan Cordean drilling a volley home through a crowd of players.

It’s at this point that Lee Sharp stands up fron his dugout, heads to the edge of his technical area and starts shouting. Cathair, with a touch more focus, go four and five-three up via Pristina Shine and Jack Menard before, with five minutes to go, a symbolic substitution is made. Off comes Dean Sharp, 35 years old, making a rare starting appearance in what will surely be his last game for 1830 Cathair, and possibly of his career. On comes a sixteen year-old striker named Alex Sharp. Dean’s son, Lee’s grandson.

The crowd give the act of pure nepotism a polite applause.

Alex doesn’t come close to scoring. Instead, Laranjauzia ensure the end of the game is a nervy one as they make it 5-4 on eight-six minutes.

While all this is going on, AC Izotz Zubia are painstakingly defending a 1-0 lead - given to them early via Thomas Butler’s trickery and Vesuvia Carrick’s ability to pass a ball into the bottom corner from four yards - against a Bombarralense side that are watching the IFCF door close slowly on themselves. Leandro Mexilhões and Martí Calderon both come close late on, but Zozi hold on take top spot in the league, and all eyes turn towards Sunday’s derby. Shamrock host Cazadores.

Three seasons ago, Shamrock Cathair were leading the league on the final day, but a two-all draw with Cazadores saw them fall behind 1830 Cathair to finish second. To add insult to injury, Cazadores galloped to the league title themselves the next season, with Shammers down in fifth.

Last season, the two Catharan rivals played each other on the final day once more, with Shamrock once again going for the league title. Caza were defeated that day, but a last-minute goal elsewhere again gave 1830 Cathair the league title, consigning Shamrock to second.

Shamrock come into the game missing key players. Midweek’s Champions League semi-final first leg was a gruelling affair, and many of their first team are carrying knocks. O’Tuathail needs to be rested, so Fergus Sloan comes in. Corby Wheeler’s out with a swollen ankle and Losduse Albofokh is suffering from general wear and tear, so there’s a makeshift look to the centre of midfield with out-of-favour centre-half Les Jawallawallah starting in midfield for the first time in two years, while seventeen year-old Emilia Torgersen makes her first start for the club. Up front, big number ten Alexander Crewe is also starting his first game of the season with Gordon and Rosewing both injured.

Crewe immediately sets about reminding the home fans why they love him so, bundling his way past Inteali Koranjo and launching himself at a high cross, sending it back across goal for Møller to bundle in at the far post for 1-0.

Cazadores have had a dreadful season, and many of their fans are just waiting for it to finally end. Ideally they’d prefer Shamrock *not* to win the league, though, so it’s with great joy that they greet Giorgio Gucci’s equaliser.

Shamrock’s Vanorian midfielder Torgersen has had a quiet game thus far, the teenager somewhat overwhelmed by the occasion and the unfair amount of pressure put on her young shoulders, but she shrugs this off in a moment of second-half inspiration, turning Salvador Monterroso inside-out with a cruyff-turn, changing direction quickly to create space for a shot and, instead, playing a lethargically slow reverse pass right into the centre of the area. Møller walks onto the pass and it seems like the sea has parted, with every red-shirted defender utterly bamboozled. Møller slides the ball into the corner for 2-1.

Cazadores fight their way back into the game, but their ascendancy is halted by an injury to Shamrock’s veteran defender Txomin Lacouague, whose knee has been subjected to the scary side of Gerard Colvyn’s boot. Lacouague, a recent arrival from Izotz Zubia, has never been a fan favourite at Shamrock, but that doesn’t stop the home fans dragging Colvyn’s name through the muck as Lacouague is stretchered off.

The stage is therefore set for Colvyn’s transition to pantomime villain to be completed.

On eighty-six minutes, a casually hit backpass from Jawallawallah causes havoc. Goalkeeper McFarland, Shamrock’s Ffibwd yTewgneoll and Caza’s Colvyn are all around the same distance from the ball as it rolls slowly to the edge of the area. McFarland comes forward, but is clearly in two minds and decides to wait on the edge of his six yard box. yTewgneoll races to the ball first but, before the defender can do anything, Gerard Colvyn literally pounces on his back. The pair start a slow collapse to the ground, but Colvyn manages to stick out a boot that sends the ball skittering into the corner for 2-2 past a confused McFarland.

From a distance, and from the point of view of a complete imbecile, you might think that Colvyn and yTewgneoll have had a fair tussle for the ball. Fortunately for Colvyn, Cathar and Cazadores, there was one wearing a black jersey in the centre of the field. The goal stands.

In any other game, Shamrock manager Rohan Cammers might have gotten into a slanging match with the opposition manager. He knows better than that when it comes to Rook Cathar. Cammers directs his anger instead at the referee, who summarily sends him down the tunnel.

Shamrock Cathair 2–2 Cazadores Cathair

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             25   14   6   5    38   23  +15    48
 2 Shamrock Cathair           25   14   5   6    52   39  +13    47
 3 1830 Cathair               27   13   7   7    45   32  +13    46
 4 KT Moreazerua              25   12   8   5    37   28   +9    44
 5 KT Itzalovalle             28   12   6  10    39   38   +1    42
 6 Excelsior Zijweg           25   10   8   7    43   35   +8    38
 7 Oljestaden IF              28   10   7  11    38   38    0    37
 8 Cazadores Cathair          26   10   6  10    42   43   −1    36
 9 Osarese Marcadia           26    8  10   8    39   44   −5    34
10 Bombarralense              26    8   7  11    39   42   −3    31
11 CdF Celtade                25    8   5  12    32   40   −8    29
12 AS Marcadia                25    8   4  13    33   42   −9    28
13 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      25    8   4  13    33   45  −12    28
14 KT Ferramendiak            25    6   5  14    38   49  −11    23
15 KT Laranjauzia             25    4   8  13    34   44  −10    20

It’s advantage Zozi at the top of the league, but only by a point, though it’s looking more and more like the title race might come down to that final game between Zozi and Shamrock. 1830 Cathair might be finishing down in fourth if Moreazerua win two of their last three matches, while Itzalovalle’s season ends with a miserable defeat to Excelsior, who will now try to overhaul them for fifth.

Cazadores remain eighth, where they’ve been for much of the season, though with Oljestaden’s season over they know exactly what they have to do to reach the Challengers Cup.

At the bottom, Laranjauzia are doomed, Ferramendiak may not escape the same fate, and it’s still a four-way battle to avoid the two relegation playoff spots.

Matchday 36
1830 Cathair 6–1 Excelsior Zijweg
AC Izotz Zubia 5–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
KT Ferramendiak 2–1 Shamrock Cathair
AS Marcadia 0–2 Bombarralense
CdF Celtade 0–0 KT Moreazerua
Cazadores Cathair 3–1 KT Laranjauzia

*heavy sigh*

The ecstasy of a midweek victory over Raynor City United to reach their first ever Champions League Final is followed by bitter humiliation away to all-but-relegated KT Ferramandiak, on a day where title rivals AC Izotz Zubia swat CSE aside and the other Cathair sides win 9-2 on aggregate.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             26   15   6   5    43   23  +20    51
 2 1830 Cathair               28   14   7   7    51   33  +18    49
 3 Shamrock Cathair           26   14   5   7    53   41  +12    47
 4 KT Moreazerua              26   12   9   5    37   28   +9    45
 5 KT Itzalovalle             28   12   6  10    39   38   +1    42
 6 Cazadores Cathair          27   11   6  10    45   44   +1    39
 7 Excelsior Zijweg           26   10   8   8    44   41   +3    38
 8 Oljestaden IF              28   10   7  11    38   38    0    37
 9 Bombarralense              27    9   7  11    41   42   −1    34
10 Osarese Marcadia           26    8  10   8    39   44   −5    34
11 CdF Celtade                26    8   6  12    32   40   −8    30
12 AS Marcadia                26    8   4  14    33   44  −11    28
13 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      26    8   4  14    33   50  −17    28
14 KT Ferramendiak            26    7   5  14    40   50  −10    26
15 KT Laranjauzia             26    4   8  14    35   47  −12    20

It’s as though the title race ends today. Cathair’s season comes to a close. Lee Sharp will not be adding a fourth league title to his tally, and the likeable Euran enters ‘retirement’ at the ripe old age of sixty-flex. One AOCL, one Champions League, three league titles and a domestic cup. That’s a good turn-around even for a team like 1830 Cathair.

Also waving farewell is Dean Sharp, Lee’s son, who comes to the end of his contract and, at 35, has decided to also ‘retire’. For the final minutes of the game, Dean and Alex sharp are both on the field together, and the strikers almost combine for a seventh goal, but Alex’s header is palmed over the bar by Mathisen.

Cazadores’s win means they are assured of an IFCF Challengers Cup place despite this being the first week they’ve even been above seventh since the first half of the season, and Caza even have an outside chance of taking fifth place with a win in their final match.

by **Audioslavia** » Fri Nov 13, 2020 6:13 pm

Matchday 37
KT Moreazerua 0–0 AC Izotz Zubia
Excelsior Zijweg 2–2 Cazadores Cathair
KT Laranjauzia 4–0 KT Ferramendiak
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–1 AS Marcadia
Bombarralense 2–3 Osarese Marcadia

…and the final score here, fourth-placed KT Moreazerua nil, league leaders AC Izotz Zubia nil. Zozi increase their lead at the top by a point, and Shamrock now know that, if they are to have any chance of winning the title next week against Zozi, they have to win tomorrow. It will be a match of vital importance at both ends of the table. Shamrock desperate to win, but their opponents are fighting to stay out of the relegation playoffs after having fallen back in. It will be Shamrock Cathair versus CdF Celtade, and it will be *live* on Chan…

…don’t you dare change that channel. Shamrock in all white attacking the goal to your right, CdF Celtade in green. Your commentator is Barry Heathcliffe and, with him, Rubio Sanchez…

…what do you think about that, Rubio?
It certainly was harsh, yes. Townsend has gone in firmly but fairly. The home crowd maybe influencing the referee, here
It is a capacity crowd as you’d expect. It’s a frenetic, exhausting month for the club. Two nailbiters against Raynor City United to make the Champions League final, this game that they *need* to win to keep their title hopes alive, to make next week’s match truly a winner-takes-all encounter, and then, in two weeks time, the Champions League final. Dragan Kryznjak’s Directus await.
They were looking past Ferramendiak last week and paid dearly. It’s made today even harder for them, and with this squad they’d ideally want to make sure their load is as light as possible
Corby Wheeler with the free-kick, whipped in.. it’s bouncing around in the area! GORDON! No! He couldn’t quite wrap his foot around it, and Sousa watches it sail over the bar. A warning there, for Celtade…
…Celtade can counter here, it’s MacCowan’s long ball and it’s Luca Senna bursting through! Senna! SENNA! Stopped! Saved by McFarland!
A warning, there, that this might not *all* go Shamrock’s way…

…given away by Jawallawallah! Here’s Escandon! Escandon to Senna! SENNA! Wide! Ooft, a *let* off for Shamrock!
He should be hitting the target. There’s no excuse for not making the keeper work, there. I agree, that’s a let-off for Shamrock..

..Shamrock having to chase back, here, here’s Luca Senna, it’s over to Rosa… Rosa gets the better of Miyazawa! Rosa! ESCANDON! Blocked by the keeper! And it’s away for a throw in, cleared hastily by Ffibwd yTewgneoll. Celtade are doing their utmost to ruin the Shamrock party, here...

…here’s Wheeler… but that’s too short for O’Tuathail and it’s cut out by Townsend who sprints forward! He’s got options to both sides as he bursts through the middle… he’s past Adriansson! He’s still going! It’s Finn TownSEEEEEEND off the bar! Oh my word what a goal *that* would have been! Struck from fully thirty yards after sprinting half the field…
Shamrock are *really* struggling in midfield. Abofokh and Wheeler have had an excellent partnership this season but they’ve played *so* many games, and that’s caught up with them. Albofokh is still injured. Shamrock have tried.. who have they tried? Jawallawallah? But he’s really not a midfielder any more, they’ve had him in the gym, he’s got a defender’s body. They’ve tried Karapetrov, a full-back, as a defensive midfielder, they’ve tried bringing Sloan into the centre without effect. O’Tuathail is the best bet as an attacking midfielder but that means Wheeler has to drop back, and it’s really not where he’s effective
Should Rohan Cammers be showing more trust in the teenagers, Rubio?
Torgersen has been *excellent* going forward but not nearly robust enough a player for what Shamrock are lacking. Plus, at 17 years old… that’s also the problem with October MacLucas or Alec McPahan. They can play in the centre, they’ve bags of potential, but they’re 16 and 17 respectively, it’s simply too early.
You wonder whether Rohan Cammers’s inability to bag an experienced backup midfielder in the transfer window will come back to haunt him. You wonder whether they could have kept hold of someone like Yohan Millar, the Eastfielder who was so effective in a central role…
You wonder whether Cammers would think about coming out of retirement and bringing himself on
It could be an idea…
He’s 49
An idea for the final two minutes of a game, maybe. If you’re a Shamrock fan which midfelder do you look at buying to…
Finn Townsend
…yes I thought you’d say that. The rumour mill has certainly been turning…

…turning here as Shamrock get through down the left, and here’s Sloan! The cross! Møller! GOAL! GOAL SHAMROCK! It’s against the run of play, it’s so, so cruel on Celtade, but is *this* the goal that rescues Shamrock’s title ambitions![/color]

Shamrock Cathair 1–0 CdF Celtade

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             27   15   7   5    43   23  +20    52
 2 Shamrock Cathair           27   15   5   7    54   41  +13    50
 3 1830 Cathair               28   14   7   7    51   33  +18    49
 4 KT Moreazerua              27   12  10   5    37   28   +9    46
 5 KT Itzalovalle             28   12   6  10    39   38   +1    42
 6 Cazadores Cathair          28   11   7  10    47   46   +1    40
 7 Excelsior Zijweg           27   10   9   8    46   43   +3    39
 8 Oljestaden IF              28   10   7  11    38   38    0    37
 9 Osarese Marcadia           27    9  10   8    42   46   −4    37
10 Bombarralense              28    9   7  12    43   45   −2    34
11 AS Marcadia                27    9   4  14    34   44  −10    31
12 CdF Celtade                27    8   6  13    32   41   −9    30
13 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      27    8   4  15    33   51  −18    28
14 KT Ferramendiak            27    7   5  15    40   54  −14    26
15 KT Laranjauzia             27    5   8  14    39   47   −8    23 R

Mozi’s inability to beat Zozi means 1830 Cathair are all but guaranteed third place in the league, though Mozi are assured of qualification for the Champions League.

At the bottom, KT Laranjauzia are down and Ferramendiak will join them unless they can beat CdF Celtade on the final day, though they’ll need Sicurezza to lose to Osarese at the same time. A win for Celtade should guarantee their safety as long as AS Marcadia don’t upset KT Moreazerua.

The big match of the final weekend is obvious. AC Izotz Zubia host Shamrock Cathair in a match that will decide the fate of the league title. A win for injury-hit Shamrock will hand them the championship. Any other result will see Zozi win their first league title since season eight.

It’s not so much a makeshift Shamrock line-up today as it is a make-do lineup. Thomas McFarland starts in goal, Ilya Karapetrov starts at left-back ahead of Aron McKenna, who Cammers says needs some recovery time. Kieran Docherty lines up at In the centre of defence alongside Viðar Adriansson, with yTewgneoll suffering from a knock, Jawallawallah well out of form, O’Lara still out with persistent ankle problems and Lacouague injured. Docherty, a right-back by trade, has been filling in at centre-half in training all season and the manager says he’s confident the Brenecian can adapt here. In midfield, Colm O’Tuathail will again play in the centre of midfield, with Corby Wheeler dropping into a defensive-midfield position, with Fergus Sloan on the left and Sho Itō on the right. Up front, Rosewing is out, Crewe is out, Archer Andrews hasn’t made an appearance since February, so there are pretty much only two options for Cammers: Thor Møller, the club’s top scorer this season, and young Rod Gordon. Shamrock’s bench today has an average age of nineteen, and that’s including backup keeper Bombidillyo, who’s 31. Midfielder October MacLucas and AM Emilia Torgersem may well have a part to play in proceedings today.

For AC Izotz Zubia it’s more or less their first-choice lineup. Branadru starts in goal again, with Breeze out with a bruised fetlock. Ceron captains from the back, with Michael Christie alongside, Larry Martinez at left-back and former Shamrock full-back Jerquaad on the right. Tigran Deschapelles and Lothaire Cromwell marshall the midfield, while Kyran Knudsen, Eurico da Rosa and Thomas Butler are the side’s formidable attacking midfield line-up, but there’s no place for Wilfried Baume up front, who’s failed a late fitness test. Teenager Fergus Coren starts in his stead, with Vesuvia Carrick on the bench.

The home side lining up in salmon and silver hoops, the away side, Shamrock, in all green. We are under way in Izotzazubia. Who will step up and become a hero? Who will win the National League? …

…Jerquaad picks it back up, back to Christie as Zozi go through the gears again. Martinez here. Martinez to Knudsen. Back to Martinez, cross-field ball will find Tom Butler on the right. Butler… a burst of pace, Karapetrov’s lost his footing, Butler’s in here! Butler! Cromwell! COREN! GOAL! 1-0 Zozi! It’s the nightmare start for Shamrock Cathair. They’ve spent the opening exchanges on the back-foot and now, four minutes in, they’re a goal down…

…goes down, nothing doing, says the referee. Cammers is incensed, Zozi attack, and here’s Eurico. Eurico to Knudsen, one-two…. he finds Coren! FERGUS CORohh off the outside of the post! Zozi in the ascendency here with ten minutes gone…

…twenty minutes gone, the ball drops for Møller here, but he can’t bring it under his spell and that’s Ceron coolly stepping in. Shamrock just can’t get going here…

…Sho Ito down the right, he’ll find Wheeler… but that’s cut-out again and here come Zozi on the counter-attack! And here’s Fergus Coren… he’ll wait for Knudsen… and what a ball that is from Kyran Knudsen! It’s Butler! Thomas BUTLERRRR! SAVED! AND AGAIN! Saved again from McFarland! And finally Docherty can clear it away, and it’s hearts-in-mouths time already for Shamrock Cathair…

Shamrock Cathair have barely got going as Zozi continue to press, and here’s Lothaire Cromwell. Cromwell to Deschapelles… it’s back to Cromwell who shoves his way past Wheeler, it’s Cromwell…. still Cromwell! Cromwell to Coren! COREN! Wide! i think… I think the goalkeeper got the slightest of touches it’s a corner…

…and another corner to defend. It’s Martinez to take… that’s evaded everybody! It’s JERQUAAAAApppffffft that’s an… erratic shot. It’s a good opportunity for Jerquaad but that ball may very well hit Opportunity when it comes down. Or maybe Spirit or the other one.

Half-time here, 1-0 to AC Izotz Zubia, and it has been *all* Izotz Zubia. If Shamrock are to even get back into the game, let alone win, they’re going to need something special. Some kind of surp…

PRAHAHARRRRRRAAAMFMEIO! WHAT A STRIKE! WHAT A STRIKE! It’s KARAPETROV! WOW. WOW. Forty yards. Forty yards and it’s not even an attempted lob, it’s a torpedo. Branadru, unsighted, can’t get across into time and it’s a *bullet* into the far corner from forty yards… the travelling fans are going mad here. 53 minutes gone and it’s 1-1…

TWO-ONE! Two-one to Shamrock! They’ve turned this around within 60 seconds! It’s Emilia Torgersen the substitute! Inherits that bobbling ball, nobody… nobody gets close enough and that’s a crisp finish from 20 yards out, and it’s advantage Cathair! Advantage Shamrock, I should say…

…sixty minutes on the clock, now. Just thirty for Shamrock to hold on. Zozi are still shell-shocked, and that’s badly given away by Deschapelles and here’s Torgerson. Torgerson finds Møller, the Vanorians combining well… it’s Møller! It’s Sloan! Fergus Sloan! Wide! Oooft if they’d have put some daylight between themselves and Zozi… I wonder if Sloan may rue that miss…

…Zozi still struggling, the corner’s defended by Martinez, but it’s out to Karapetrov. Karapetrov puts it back in! Møller! *Saved* by Branadru, who holds onto it at the second time of asking…

…time running out for Zozi who are beginning to dominate possession again, here’s Christie… Deschapelles… Cromwell. Cromwell will look up and find Butler. Thomas Butler’s past Karapetrov again here! Butler! Coren! No.. it’s back to CROMWELL! Post! It’s off the foot of the post, can you believe it? The ball… cleared away, and Shamrock hang on…

…hang on, that’s an awful backpass! Shamrock are through here! It’s O’Tuathall! Colm O’Tuathall can he put it beyond doubt for Shamrock?! BLOCKED by Branadru! Branadru pounces on the rebound, O’Tuathall looks to the heavens, that was *so* close…

…so close now, there’s only five minutes that remain. Shamrock… nervous, falling back further and further into their own area. Rohan Cammers just stands there, staring, *daring* any one of his players not to give it a hundred million percent. It’s Tom Butler on the right. Jerquaad on the overlap, but Butler doesn’t need him, it’s Butler… to Cromwell… CromWEEELLLLLL

….

…IT’S IN! DEFTLY CUT ACROSS THE FACE OF THE GOAL and in off the post! The number eight has done it! And has the National League just been won by a Nepharan?

…the away fans are in shock, here. How could this happen? How could this happen *again*?

…the attack breaks down and Zozi come forward, and they’re keeping possession well. Honestly you get the feeling Rohan Cammers wants to come on and tackle someone himself. The clock ticks past the 90…. and 3 minutes. Three minutes of injury time to be played. The Soldaduak Eremuaberria is *bouncing*, Ager Alaba is sat. Calm. The polar opposite of his opposite number. Here’s Lothaire Cromwell, is he looking for another goal? *Good* challenge from yTewgneoll, Cromwell’s dwelled on the ball too long there and Shamrock will break. Here’s Karapetrov. Karapetrov to O’Tuathail. Cammers is yelling instructions. They might not even be instructions, he might just be shouting ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA’. O’Tuathail takes it forward.. here’s Torgersen. Emilia Torgersen who may have thought she’d gotten the winner… Torgersen… finds Møller on the edge of the box. Quick pass and here’s Itō! Itō! Through for Docherty who’s sprinting forward! Kieran Docherty on the corner of the area! The pass! Torgersen’s there! TORGERSEN! BLOCKED! O’Tuathail gets to the loose baaaaa what a ball! CHIPPED THROUGH! HERE’S MØLLEERRRRRRRRRR

…

OFF THE LINE! Scooped off the line from Larry Martinez! Branadru was beaten by the header! He was in no-man’s land, but Larry Martinez was sprinting back to cover and, acrobatically, he may… he may have just…

Matchday 38
Osarese Marcadia 0–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
AS Marcadia 1–1 KT Moreazerua
AC Izotz Zubia 2–2 Shamrock Cathair
CdF Celtade 2–1 KT Laranjauzia
KT Ferramendiak 0–1 Excelsior Zijweg

The National League       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             28   15   8   5    45   25  +20    53 Champions. IFCF CL, AOCL
 2 Shamrock Cathair           28   15   6   7    56   43  +13    51 IFCF CL
 3 1830 Cathair               28   14   7   7    51   33  +18    49 IFCF CL, AOCL (Holders)
 4 KT Moreazerua              28   12  11   5    38   29   +9    47 IFCF CL
 5 Excelsior Zijweg           28   11   9   8    47   43   +4    42 IFCF ChC
 6 KT Itzalovalle             28   12   6  10    39   38   +1    42 IFCF ChC
 7 Cazadores Cathair          28   11   7  10    47   46   +1    40 IFCF ChC
 8 Osarese Marcadia           28    9  11   8    42   46   −4    38 VCI
 9 Oljestaden IF              28   10   7  11    38   38    0    37
10 Bombarralense              28    9   7  12    43   45   −2    34
11 CdF Celtade                28    9   6  13    34   42   −8    33
12 AS Marcadia                28    9   5  14    35   45  −10    32 Relegation Playoff
13 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      28    8   5  15    33   51  −18    29 Relegation Playoff
14 KT Ferramendiak            28    7   5  16    40   55  −15    26 Relegated
15 KT Laranjauzia             28    5   8  15    40   49   −9    23 Relegated

National Two                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Union Cathair FC           38   25   9   4    87   42  +45    84 Promoted, LBCC
 2 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      38   23   7   8    79   43  +36    76 Promoted, LBCC
 3 Sobrevolante!              38   22   9   7    73   36  +37    75 Promotion Playoff, LBCC
 4 Santa Margarida            38   22   8   8    82   50  +32    74 Promotion Playoff
 5 The Oran                   38   21   6  11    70   51  +19    69
 6 Burdoc Ridge               38   16  11  11    63   52  +11    59
 7 Tenth Star Hasiera         38   14  13  11    69   61   +8    55
 8 Isle of Kjeligsted FC      38   17   3  18    57   57    0    54
 9 Laranjeiras                38   15   7  16    54   58   −4    52
10 Sparta Zijweg              38   13  10  15    58   65   −7    49
11 Eletti Valligiani          38   12  13  13    58   67   −9    49
12 Hibernação                 38   13   9  16    60   69   −9    48
13 Corações                   38   14   5  19    58   69  −11    47
14 Alistoun Academicals       38   11  11  16    55   69  −14    44
15 Silexhera FC               38   11  10  17    51   69  −18    43
16 Crossport Dynamo           38   10  10  18    34   50  −16    40
17 KT Koroatuz                38    9  12  17    41   51  −10    39
18 C.D. Portobranco           38    8  12  18    57   82  −25    36 Relegated
19 Lemmitania State FC        38    9   8  21    48   71  −23    35 Relegated
20 Necromarinai               38    4   9  25    37   79  −42    21 Relegated

Round One

Tenth Star Hasiera 2–1 Kitherwell
Reina Del Sud 0–1 Iron Brewery
Orquideas 0–0 Coile Owls (1-1 AET) (3–2 pen.)
Eletti Valligiani 0–1 Frecce
Ceilerden Harp 2–0 2130 Calolziolungho
KT Moreazerua 1–0 CF Herradores
SC Laivanrakentajas 5–1 Uniao Tortuguita
Lemmitania State FC 0–1 1830 Cathair
The Oran 0–1 Hibernação
CdFS Ilheiros 0–0 Isle of Kjeligsted FC (1–1 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Union Cathair FC 0–1 KT Ferramendiak
Ceilerden Rovers 0–1 Excelsior Zijweg
KT Koroatuz 2–4 Viking Halehavn
Laranjeiras 2–0 Sporting Clube Marinheiros
Sobrevolante 3–1 Valens AV
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 Santa Margarida
AS Marcadia 3–3 Shamrock Cathair (3–4 AET)
Guerrilla Cathair 1–2 Silexhera FC
KT Ferratzaileak 0–1 CdF Celtade
Cazadores Cathair 6–0 Vidrieros
KT Kanpoldelko 2–2 Valão (2–2 AET) (3–1 pen.)
DDM Dunas Secas 1–4 AC Izotz Zubia
Valderantia United 0–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Corações 1–1 Sporting Clube de São Jeremías (1–2 AET)
Oljestaden IF 2–0 Alistoun Academicals
Artiglieria 0–2 Burdoc Ridge
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 2–1 C.D. Portobranco
CF Cruceros 0–4 Bombarralense
Clockwork FC 1–1 Crossport Mariners (1–1 AET) (2–3 pen.)
Sparta Zijweg 2–1 Necromarinai
Huiszwalluw FC 0–0 Crossport Dynamo (1–1 AET) (6–5 pen.)
KT Laranjauzia 0–0 Osarese Marcadia (0–0 AET) (3–4 pen.)

Round Two

Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–2 Oljestaden IF
Silexhera FC 0–3 AC Izotz Zubia
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–2 Sobrevolante
Laranjeiras 1–0 CdFS Ilheiros
KT Moreazerua 1–2 Shamrock Cathair
KT Ferramendiak 1–0 Burdoc Ridge
Ceilerden Harp 0–1 Excelsior Zijweg
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 2–0 KT Kanpoldelko
Orquideas 0–1 Viking Halehavn
Osarese Marcadia 2–0 CdF Celtade
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 Santa Margarida
1830 Cathair 2–0 Sparta Zijweg
SC Laivanrakentajas 1–2 Crossport Mariners
Sporting Clube de São Jeremías 0–1 Frecce
Bombarralense 2–0 Iron Brewery
Hibernação 1–0 Huiszwalluw FC

Round Three

Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–1 Osarese Marcadia
Crossport Mariners 2–2 KT Ferramendiak (3–2 AET)
Excelsior Zijweg 0–2 Bombarralense
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–1 Sobrevolante (1–1 AET) (8–7 pen.)
Hibernação 1–5 Shamrock Cathair
Laranjeiras 2–2 Frecce (3–2 AET)
Cazadores Cathair 2–1 1830 Cathair
AC Izotz Zubia 2–0 Viking Halehavn

Quarter FInal

Crossport Mariners 0–3 Cazadores Cathair
Shamrock Cathair 3–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Bombarralense 0–2 Laranjeiras
AC Izotz Zubia 0–2 Osarese Marcadia

Semi-Final

Cazadores Cathair 3–2 Osarese Marcadia
Shamrock Cathair 0–0 Laranjeiras (1–0 AET)

  Final

Cazadores Cathair 1–3 Shamrock Cathair

As a one-off experiment, the majority of the Kirola Cup is played early in the season, with the semis and final being played within five days of each other a week after the Champions League final.

Shamrock Cathair, downhearted from losing the league title to AC Izotz Zubia and the Champions League to Directus, can nevertheless rely upon this season’s incarnation of Cazadores blowing colder than a Polarian who…lefoods freezer repairman. An action-packed first-half ends with Shamrock three goals to the good via Corby Wheeler, Sho Itō and Colm O’Tuathail, who’s making up for having missed a golden opportunity in that Zozi game. Cazadores grab a goal back through Lindauer, and for much of the second half it looks like the second goal is going to come at any moment, but Shamrock fight hard and, eventually, are simply too strong for Caza.

At the end of the game, club captain Alexander Crewe lifts the trophy alongside skipper-for-the-day Colm O’Tuathail. Shamrock, after years of falling short, have won a major final again.

It’s not *quite* consolation for that Directus match though

AS Marcadia 0-0 Santa Margarida
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 3-1 Sobrevolante!

AS Marcadia 0-1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Sobrevolante! 2-2 Santa Margarida

AS Marcadia 1-0 Sobrevolante!
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 2-1 Santa Margarida

Promotion Playoff        P  W  D  L  F  A  GD Pts 
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi    3  3  0  0  6  2  4  9
AS Marcadia              3  1  1  1  1  1  0  4
Santa Margarida          3  0  2  1  3  4 -1  2
Sobrevolante!            3  0  1  2  3  6 -3  1

Once again, the top-flight sides stay alive in the playoffs, but it’s a close one. Only a late goal from Simos Arvanitakis saves AS Marcadia from going out on goals scored.

by **Audioslavia** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 2:41 pm

Season 14

3
The National League
Oljestaden IF 1–0 KT Moreazerua
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–0 Osarese Marcadia
CdF Celtade 1–0 Bombarralense
AC Izotz Zubia 0–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 1830 Cathair

4
The National League
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 3–2 KT Itzalovalle
Bombarralense 0–3 AC Izotz Zubia
Osarese Marcadia 1–0 CdF Celtade
KT Moreazerua 1–1 Excelsior Zijweg
Cazadores Cathair 2–0 Oljestaden IF

5
The National League
Excelsior Zijweg 0–4 Cazadores Cathair
Shamrock Cathair 0–2 KT Moreazerua
AC Izotz Zubia 3–1 Osarese Marcadia
KT Itzalovalle 3–3 Bombarralense
1830 Cathair 1–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera

Aside from a frustrating performance against newly promoted Tout-Puissant, who grab their fourth point in three games, Zozi look like a force to be reckoned with in the season’s opening salvos. So to do Cazadores, a side bouncing back from a dreadful turn-out last season to win their first four games, conceding none in the process.

Let’s see what we can learn from the league table at this early stage of the season:

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia              5    4   1   0    11    2   +9    13
 2 Cazadores Cathair           3    3   0   0     7    0   +7     9
 3 1830 Cathair                4    3   0   1     8    2   +6     9
 4 Tout-Puissant Hasiera       5    2   1   2     8    9   −1     7
 5 Bombarralense               5    2   1   2     6    8   −2     7
 6 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi       3    2   0   1     7    5   +2     6
 7 Osarese Marcadia            5    2   0   3     8    9   −1     6
 8 KT Moreazerua               4    1   1   2     3    3    0     4
 9 AS Marcadia                 1    1   0   0     5    4   +1     3
10 Oljestaden IF               2    1   0   1     1    2   −1     3
11 CdF Celtade                 4    1   0   3     1    8   −7     3
12 KT Itzalovalle              4    0   1   3     6   10   −4     1
13 Excelsior Zijweg            2    0   1   1     1    5   −4     1
14 Shamrock Cathair            1    0   0   1     0    2   −2     0
15 Union Cathair FC            2    0   0   2     1    4   −3     0

Ah yes. Nothing.

Still, that’s not a great start for Shamrock, is it?

Shamrock Cathair Shammers
Glass Bridge Stadium, (Cap: 31500). Cathair, Central

Domestic Honours - 3
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 1
Squad
1. Bombidillyo (32, G , DAI)
2. Daniel MacCowan (22, D CR, AUD)
3. Aron McKenna (24, D L, TJU)
4. Losduse Albofokh (28, DM C, TIO)
5. Ffibwd yTewgneoll (21, D C, KOR)
6. Finn Townsend (28, DM C, BRE)
7. Sho Itō (20, M/F R, SQR)
8. Corby Wheeler (29, M C, BRE)
9. Rod Gordon (21, F C, AUD)
10. Colm O'Tuathail (27, M L, KSK)
11. Rosewing (29.5, F C, EQS)
12. Viðar Adriansson (29, D C, GRF)
14. Thor (30, F C, VAL)
15. Bryson O'Lara (20, D C, EFL)
17. Kieran Docherty (30, D R, BRE)
18. Declan MacCowan (22, M C, AUD)
19. Fergus Sloan (26, M L, GRU)
20. Carmelo MacCowan (18, D/M LCR, AUD)
21. Emilia Torgersen (17, AM C, VAL)
22. Thomas McFarland (21, G , AUD)
23. Archer Andrews (22, F C, TJU)
31. Alexander McPahan (18, M CR, AUD)
Mng. Alexander Crewe (35, F C, APX)

First XI: McFarland - C. MacCowan, yTewgneoll, D. MacCowan, McKenna - Townsend, Dec. MacCowan, O’Tuathail, Wheeler, Itō - Møller

Rohan Cammers’s selection as new manager of the Audioslavia national team propelled Alexander Crewe into his first managerial hot-seat, after having twice took stewardship of the team last season after two suspensions for Cammers. Fellow Apoxian Crewe, who played under Cammers for seven years in a Shamrock shirt, has looked to carry on where his mentor left off while also moulding the team into his own image.

He started with a bang.

The raid of CdF Celtade for the MacCowan trio and angry Brenecian thunderstorm Finn Townsend has bolstered a thin midfield and a shaky defence, especially considering the offloading of a disinterested Les Jawallawalla and a rapidly deteriorating Txomin Lacouague. Crewe has opted for a 4-5-1 formation as opposed to the 4-4-2 the side played under Cammers, with Declan, Wheeler and Townsend looking like a formidable central partnership. Losduse Albofokh remains a defensive midfield option, as does Fergus Sloan and Alec McPahan, deputising for fan-favourite Kelssek winger Colm O’Tuathail and the exciting young talent Sho Itō.

Up front, Thor Møller will cut a lonelier figure up front this season, with Rosewing rotating in and Archer Andrews and Rod Gordon fighting for minutes. Just behind, Vanorian youngster Emilia Torgersen will be an option from the bench and may be the future of Shamrock’s attacking three.

Last season’s performance was arguably Shamrock’s best ever, despite ‘only’ one trophy in the form of the Kirola Cup. Champions League finalists and league runners up. Shamrock are desperate for a second title this season and Crewe is quietly confident they can put up a fight.

[box]

Cazadores Cathair Caza
El Ruedo, (Cap: 42500). Cathair, Central

Domestic Honours - 3
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Juxon Fillar (23, G , CMT)
4. Iago Cacho (26, DM C, AUD)
6. Inteali Koranjo (21, D C, VIL)
7. Creidne Lindauer (30, F C, BRE)
8. Adrian Toscani (23, AM C, SVG)
9. Aranha (32, F C, DAI)
10. Cristian Benitez (21, F C, VLD)
11. Giorgio Gucci (26, D/M L, MRC)
12. Aloha (26, F C, DAI)
13. Cristos Harding (20, D C, EFL)
14. Rasmus Caracole (26, M L, NPH)
15. Guifré Menez (25, D/M R, AUD)
16. Christian Armani (25, M R, MRC)
17. Per Frandsen (20, D RL, AUD)
18. Azaim (23, M C, SHT)
20. Kepler Marcel Gouveia de Souza (16, AM C, QUE)
22. Tutayan (31, AM R, TEQ)
23. Theold Bracewell (31, G , NPH)
28. Claudio Casimiro (21, D/M C, AUD)
32. Tiago Brown (17, D/M R, AUD)
36. Wilhelm Hielscher-Zendagorta (17, AM/F C, AUD/STL)
Mng. Rook Cathar (51, F LCR, NPH)

First XI: Fillar - Brown, Koranjo, Harding, Gucci - Cacho - Tutayan, Toascani, Caracole - Benitez, Lindauer

Last season’s seventh-place finish was Cazadores’s’ worst in the National League since their return to the top flight in season three. Eleven wins from twenty-eight games, disappointing performances in IFCF competitions and almost missing out on a Challengers’ Cup spot to boot. Rook Cathar’s coat was also on a shoogly peg, though to be honest anything big enough to cover Rook Cathar’s shoulders and heavy enough to be called a coat is always going to question the structural integrity of minor domestic fixtures.

Speaking of minor domestic fixtures. The Cross Capital Derby ain’t one of them, and Cazadores are hoping to take their rich early-season form into the derby. New signing Juxon Fillar, one of Chromatika’s metaphorical royal family of football players, has been a revelation in goal for Caza, with new Valladar signing Cristian Benitez impressing with two goals in three games so far. Caza are on fire, and favourites for the tie.

6
The National League
Bombarralense 0–1 1830 Cathair
Osarese Marcadia 0–0 KT Itzalovalle
KT Moreazerua 1–2 AS Marcadia
Cazadores Cathair 0–2 Shamrock Cathair
Oljestaden IF 2–2 Excelsior Zijweg

Derbies never quite go to form, though.
 After a horrific performance in defeat to KT Moreazerua on opening day - Mozi’s only win so far - Shamrock are convincing in their defeat of Cazadores, with Møller and O’Tuathail on target for the visitors and Finn Townsend seemingly possessing three lungs in his fierce pursuit of everything that comes into his half.

Cathar is philosophical about the defeat, noting that the best team won and that Caza have still cause to be optimistic for the season, but those fans who’d seen the side win three and conceded zero in their opening games have had to make the slow descent back to reality.

As long as they don’t continue the memulous ways of last year, their fans won’t be too unhappy.

KT Itzalovalle Itzi
The Antzerkia, (Cap: 48000). Ferramendiak, Herradura

Domestic Honours - 1
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Echepare Rospide (23, G , ASG)
2. Jerónimo Marzan (24, D/M RL, AUD)
3. Anxo Osorio (30, D RL, AUD)
4. Moses Moxey (23, M C, AUD)
5. Alejandro Consuegra (23, D C, AUD)
6. Garai Echevarrieta (24, D C, AUD)
7. Arial Skidoomacher (27, DM C, AUD)
8. Wilhelm Nkitilina (24, F C, TAE)
9. Gabirel Zozaia (25, F C, AUD)
10. Dreigiau Parrish (24, AM C, BRE)
11. Gabirel Oteiza (27, M RL, AUD)
13. Zakuty (25, F C, DAI)
14. Jiskastnya (25, F C, DAI)
18. Eneko Burionagonatotorecagageazcoechea (20, M CR, AUD)
19. Elis Løvland (24, D L, FFD)
20. Reynard Salama (20, D C, EFL)
21. Theo Cosumar (26, D RL, AUD)
22. Vianca (27, G , DAI)
37. Floriano Côtescassées (17, M L, AUD)
Mng. Arnoud Koolhaas (41, D C, AUD)

First XI: Rospide - Marzan, Osorio, Consuegra, Echevarrieta - Skidoomacher - Oteiza, Moxey, Parrish - Zozaia, Nkitilina

Sitting at the foot of the table, winless and often listless, KT Itzalovalle are having their worst start to a season in living memory, and considering living memory includes that time they finished seventh in the second division, that’s no mean feat.

Arnoud Koolhaas had come into the club in similar circumstances just two seasons ago and had managed to wrest some sense of control, but with every passing week and every pair or trio of points dropped, it looks more and more like he’s viewing the same situation from the other side.

Moses Moxey and Dreigiau Parrish should be the stars of this midfield, crashing hard against the likes of Townsend and TFK for central supremacy, but they rarely seem to be playing the same game, let alone in the same team. The marauding Parrish is rarely within 20 yards of Moxey, who prefers being the most withdrawn of the team’s midfield, often square of natural DM Skidoomacher. The result is a disjointed team that has put in some tame performances so far.

KT Moreazerua Mozi
Ibarretako Estadioa, (Cap: 40000). Moreazerua, Herradura

Domestic Honours - 2
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Maren Artetxebarria (25, G , AUD)
3. Asztrik Puskás (32, D L, AUD)
4. Ronan Stenhouse (25, DM C, EUR)
5. Marwyn Asterisk (26, D C, AUD)
6. Dieter Konoval (34, D C, NPH)
7. Mbdiai Akarenaa (33, M RCL, TUR)
8. Koldo Bazterrika (21, M LC, AUD)
9. Koenraad Rijsbergen (24, F C, AUD)
10. Olentzaro Karazatorre (25, F C, ASG)
11. Morea Zozetua (32, M L, MRN)
13. Deitr Konovaal (33, M C, MRN)
14. Gael Texeira (21, M C, AUD)
17. Zafarullah Hamdani (26, M CR, AUD)
18. Imauka Lkomorak (18, M CR, VIL)
19. Trevor Paraoan (23, AM/F C, FHU)
20. Bartolomej Wladmirowić (31, D LC, ZRH)
22. Catheline Voegel (32, M L, NPH)
24. Oran Coldcross (18, D C, AUD)
43. Zebjan Istanjovich (43, G , SIC)
Mng. Imanol Andueza (45, F C, AUD)

First XI: Artetxebarria - Puskas, Asterisk, Konoval - Stenhouse, Konovaal, Lkomorak, Zozetua - Akarenaa - Rijsbergen, Karazatorre

Nobody’s been paying attention to Moreazerua, and that’s perhaps what makes them so dangerous this season. Their oddball 3-5-2 formation is awkward to deal with, and Koenraad Rijsbergen is an absolute menace up front. The first eleven has been bolstered by two arrivals from the cove in the form of wingers Lkomorak and Akarenaa, the former being used as a sprightly wingback, the latter as the creative influence just ahead of the midfield.

Karazatorre’s arrival from Pyathora Mariners has given the club an extra dimension in attack, where previously they’d relied solely on Rijsbergen as a target man.

Their biggest news on the transfer front, though, regarded the signing of a certain Zebjan Istanjovich, at 43 the oldest non-elven player in the history of Audioslavian football. Istanjovich had initially joined KT Moreazerua for just one season as a teenager, back at the start of the LigAnaia era, and rejoined the club after a string of strong performances for Isle of Kjeligsted in the second tier. Istanjovich’s first season in Moreazerua hadn’t been the greatest, but the fans are more than willing to give him a second chance if Maren Artetxebarria goes down injured.

11
The National League
Union Cathair FC 3–3 Shamrock Cathair
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–1 Excelsior Zijweg
CdF Celtade 3–2 Oljestaden IF
AC Izotz Zubia 1–2 Cazadores Cathair
KT Itzalovalle 1–1 KT Moreazerua

As Herraduran derbies go, Itzalovalle’s one-all draw with Mozi was little to write home about, with the home team going ahead in the first half, being pegged back by a Rijsbergen equalizer and just about shutting out their opponents in the second half for a single point.

Elsewhere, Cazadores fans rejoiced as goals from Cristian Benitez and Creidne Lindauer were enough to beat league champions AC Izotz Zubia, while the ‘other other other’ Cathair Derby between Shamrock and newly promoted Union ended at 3-3.

12
The National League
KT Moreazerua 0–0 1830 Cathair
Cazadores Cathair 0–0 KT Itzalovalle
Oljestaden IF 3–4 AC Izotz Zubia
Excelsior Zijweg 3–0 CdF Celtade
Shamrock Cathair 4–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
AS Marcadia 5–2 Union Cathair FC

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair          10    5   2   3    17   10   +7    17
 2 AC Izotz Zubia              8    5   1   2    18   12   +6    16
 3 KT Moreazerua              11    4   3   4    15   10   +5    15
 4 Shamrock Cathair            7    4   2   1    16    6  +10    14
 5 1830 Cathair                7    4   1   2     9    3   +6    13
 6 Osarese Marcadia            9    4   1   4    11   11    0    13
 7 AS Marcadia                 7    4   1   2    15   17   −2    13
 8 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi       8    4   1   3    14   16   −2    13
 9 Bombarralense               8    3   2   3    11   13   −2    11
10 Union Cathair FC            8    3   1   4    14   14    0    10
11 Tout-Puissant Hasiera       7    2   2   3    11   13   −2     8
12 Oljestaden IF               9    2   2   5    14   18   −4     8
13 Excelsior Zijweg            8    1   4   3     8   16   −8     7
14 CdF Celtade                 8    2   1   5     5   15  −10     7
15 KT Itzalovalle              7    0   4   3     7   11   −4     4

It’s rock bottom for Itzalovalle as they eke out a commendable draw with early leaders Cazadores, but the pressure is mounting and you get the feeling that just one more reverse is going to cost Koolhaus his cool house.

Three points north, CdF Celtade and Excelsior Zijweg are both struggling for form. Celtade’s woes are understandable, having lost a slew of their best player last season, but Excelsior were supposed to be kicking on after wonderfully reaching the Challengers’ Cup last season and making it to the group stages this season. With one win from their opening eight games, they may be setting themselves up for a relegation scrap.

In eleventh, Tout-Puissant Hasiera are making a fist of things. The favourites for the drop, TPH are 2-2-3 and banking on the finishing skills of Eastfielder Leonardo Bousquet to save them from a relegation battle.

At the top, no teams are undefeated but Shamrock, having played a few games fewer than their title rivals, are looking strong in fourth, their only defeat coming in that opening-day disaster against Mozi, who sit third.

At the top, Cazadores are undoubtedly in that position due to their having played more games than their rivals, sure, but they have a chance to prove their mettle this coming week as they venture to the capital’s northern Grand Forum district to play hated rivals 1830.

Oljestaden IF Olga
Hygolje Arena, (Cap: 50000). Oljestaden, Hyland

Domestic Honours - 2
COCANEFA Honours - 1
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Donato Castillo (26, G , EFL)
2. Maas Hadler (34, D C, MRN)
3. Santiago Santiago (27, D L, TAE)
4. Thorian Nielsen (22, DM C, AUD)
5. Da Chong (22, D C, JOV)
6. Pelle Juergensen (26, D/M R, AUD)
7. Bastiaan Makaay (24, M CR, AUD)
8. Torvald Ebben (28, M C, SRS)
9. Kasperi Otalainen (32, F C, SVJ)
11. Bertus Verschoor (21, F C, AUD)
12. Ivan Sandiev (21, F LC, USR)
15. Mauithay (26, M C, DAI)
16. Helge Persson (26, D C, GRF)
18. Eric Soren (25, D CR, AUD)
19. Eyvindur Vilar-Trom (20, F C, AUD)
20. Numbers Guégan (23, D/M CL, AUD)
22. Maxi Lundgren (35, G , NPH)
29. Dries Van den Bossche (24, M LC, AUD)
91. Cocoabo #91 (??, F CR, TUR)
Mng. Tomas Kristofics (44, DM C, PIS)

First XI: Castillo - Soren, Persson, Hadler, Santiago - Makaay, Ebben, Van den Bossche - Sandiev, Otalainen, Cocoabo #91

If Oljestaden versus Bombarralense a derby? Not exactly. This is simply the matchup of two similarly peculiar teams.
 Tomas Kristofics has been involved with Oljestaden for a long time, initially as a teenage midfielder bought alongside two other Polarians by former manager Ivan Haarstad, now at true rivals Isle of Kjeligsted. Kristofics would end up replacing Haarstad after the Polarian manager’s ridiculously long run as Oljestaden boss, meaning men from the Polar Islandstates have been running the club for well over 20 consecutive seasons at this point.

Oljestaden are an odd team. A glance at their strike force should tell you all you need to know. One of them, for example, is a Cocoabo. Another, Ivan Sandiev, joined the club in pre-season for a princely sum after impressive performances for Sannyamathland in World Cup qualifying despite having no real experience in high-level club football.

Sandiev, however, has been a formidable presence on the left side of attack, often too much to handle for the league’s full-backs.

Bombarralense Os Bombardeiros
Estadio das Trevas, (Cap: 17500). Bombarral, Lusitâninha

Domestic Honours - 0
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Uolleys (32, G , DAI)
2. Ortzi Iarzagarai (33, D/M CR, AUD)
3. Muuna Kentar (38, D L, MRN)
4. Maxil Girou (36, D C, MRN)
5. Szescõ Erôss (20, D C, PAS)
6. Beck Clayborn (32, D C, BRE)
7. Max Rizzo (25, M/F L, CBP)
8. Tray Mohaupt (28, M C, SPM)
9. Archnique Henderson (24, F C, AUD)
10. Martí Calderon (28, F C, TEQ)
11. Rylan Bishop (22, M L, TKT)
12. Daczibog Ketadzic (33, D C, SRS)
13. Jacob Marley (28, DM C, MUR)
14. Cody Fraser (35, M C, AUD)
15. Leandro Mexilhões (20, M/F LC, AUD)
16. Cillian Hurdly (17, F C, AUD)
17. Patrick Read (19, D R, EUR)
19. Jordi Valeri (30, M LCR, AUD)
21. Antoni Moigne (23, AM R, AUD)
24. Ben West (18, AM C, EUR)
Mng. Guillem Rodas (43, D/M L, AUD)

First XI: Uolleys - Read, Girou, Ketadzic, Kentar - Erôss, Marley - West, Mohaupt, Rizzo - Calderon

Bomba are an odd team. As odd as you’d expect when you consider that their symbols are an octopus and a bomb. When they arrived in the top flight in season ten most had them as favourites to go back down, but thus far tenth is the lowest down the table they’ve finished, and the club have represented Audioslavia in the Challengers’ Cup with aplomb.

Rodas’s men have taken two Euran teenagers in the transfer window, with Patrick Read coming from Blackfields and Ben West arriving on loan from Falourr. Aside from young gun Cillian Hurdly breaking through in attack, that’s it for changes. The side once again rely on a united-nations first-team to see them through - they will often field a side with no Audioslavian players at all.

16
The National League
Cazadores Cathair 2–0 Osarese Marcadia
Oljestaden IF 0–0 Bombarralense
Excelsior Zijweg 0–1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Shamrock Cathair 2–0 1830 Cathair
AS Marcadia 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
Union Cathair FC 1–1 AC Izotz Zubia
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–0 CdF Celtade

Oh come on, guys. I set the two of you up as weird weirdos and you go and have the most boring 0-0 draw of the season so far.

The big match on matchday sixteen is, naturally, Shamrock versus 1830 Cathair, and the spoils go to the home side with Townsend just about getting the better of Kramer in the midfield battle. Thor Møller grabs the go-ahead goal after eighteen minutes, with Corby Wheeler breaking through in the sixty-fourth minute to slot home number two.

Elsewhere, Caza win their last match before the mid-season break, while KT Itzalovalle get their second win in a row. Smith’s new-manager bounce is in full effect.

Excelsior Zijweg The Wee Easy
Vidaak Arena, (Cap: 16500). Zijweg, Hyland

Domestic Honours - 0
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Yoruyoru (25, G , DAI)
2. Mathew Glassmaker (30, D R, AUD)
3. Jody Mahmud (18, D L, AUD)
4. Bryton Menheniot (28, DM C, APX)
5. Jacoby Gibson (25, D C, AUD)
6. Zackothy Almanzar (28, D C, AUD)
7. Hoyt Alas (23, M R, AUD)
8. Dane Pridgeon (24, M C, COS)
9. Eric Giese (29, F C, AUD)
10. Axel Agard (21, AM CR, AUD)
11. Troy Qaderi (24, M LC, AUD)
12. Folke Bolt (20, M/F C, AUD)
13. Lyndis (34, M/AM C, DAI)
14. Rogier Kuijken (23, AM R, AUD)
15. Rustex Van Heemstra (27, DM C, AUD)
16. Teunis Nijhof (23, DM C, AUD)
17. Tristen Rigger (28, M C, AUD)
18. Kazimir Sliva (25, G , AUD)
19. Pabel Krasinski (21, F C, AUD)
20. Jeroen Beethoven (26, M C, AUD)
21. Inigo Eskibel (18, D R, AUD)
24. Vann MacMurdo (23, D CR, AUD)
Mng. Christopher Swansmith (71, DM C, AUD)

First XI: Yoruyoru - MacMurdo, Gibson, Almanzar, Mahmud - Menheniot - Agard, Pridgeon, Lyndis, Qaderi - Giese

Christopher Swansmith’s men took the league by storm last season, qualifying for the Challengers’ Cup playing an old-school brand of kick-and-rush football orchestrated by two cheap-as-chips transfers from Cazadores in the form of Cosumarite Dane Pridgeon and Apoxian Bryton Menheniot. Like Cosumar and Apox, however, the side appear to have gone missing this season.

In short, they have been figured out.

Swansmith’s reliance on the team that got Excelsior promoted and into IFCF football has been the 71 year-old former Audioslavia midfielder’s undoing, and after Itzi’s change in fortunes Excelsior sit rock-bottom of the division with almost half the season gone.

The only bright spot so far has been the team’s progression to the knockout stages of the Challengers’ Cup, going 2-2-2 in the group stage to set up a knockout game with Banijans Kitara AA.

First up, they have to traverse the festive period, with a tricky tie at Bomba coming up.

17
The National League
AC Izotz Zubia 0–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 Union Cathair FC
1830 Cathair 1–2 AS Marcadia
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 0–1 Shamrock Cathair
Bombarralense 2–1 Excelsior Zijweg
Osarese Marcadia 0–4 Oljestaden IF

Menheniot sets up Eric Giese with a beautiful through-ball to open the scoring for Excelsior, but they’re simply outplayed for much of the second half and Bomba come away with the points, equalizing on the hour mark through Ben West’s far-post finish and taking the lead through and unlikely overhead kick from a defender. Oh wait, the defender was Daczibog Ketadzic. Nevermind. He just does stuff like that.

[box] 19
The National League
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 CdF Celtade
1830 Cathair 8–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 0–1 Union Cathair FC
Bombarralense 3–0 AS Marcadia
Osarese Marcadia 0–2 Shamrock Cathair

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           14    9   3   2    30   10  +20    30
 2 1830 Cathair               14    9   1   4    25    8  +17    28
 3 Cazadores Cathair          14    8   2   4    22   13   +9    26
 4 AS Marcadia                14    7   3   4    28   26   +2    24
 5 AC Izotz Zubia             14    6   5   3    24   19   +5    23
 6 KT Moreazerua              14    6   3   5    23   14   +9    21
 7 Bombarralense              14    5   3   6    17   21   −4    18
 8 KT Itzalovalle             14    4   5   5    16   18   −2    17
 9 Union Cathair FC           14    5   2   7    17   19   −2    17
10 Osarese Marcadia           14    5   2   7    14   20   −6    17
11 Oljestaden IF              14    4   4   6    21   22   −1    16
12 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      14    4   4   6    15   27  −12    16
13 CdF Celtade                14    4   3   7     9   23  −14    15
14 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      14    3   4   7    17   25   −8    13
15 Excelsior Zijweg           14    1   6   7    13   26  −13     9

The halfway point of the season is punctuated by 1830 Cathair utterly destroying Sicurezza by eight goals to nothing, leapfrogging Cazadores to round out a capital-headed league. Zozi are fifth, a point behind an AS Marcadia team having their best start to a league season in their history. Have they been particularly good? Well this is the side who have dropped points to three of the bottom four and were demolished at home 7-0 by Cazadores, yet who were comfortable in away victories over 1830 Cathair, KT Moreazerua and AC Izotz Zubia, so the answer to that question is a resounding ‘heaven knows’. Marcadia, for years an afterthought, are now the wildcard. It’s a massive improvement.

At the bottom of the table, Excelsior Zijweg have lost seven of their twelve games, along with Osarese, Union, Celtade and Hasiera. They remain bottom by four points due to their absolute inability to turn ties into wins. Tout-Puissant join them in the automatic relegation spots, while Celtade are just about keeping themselves above the line, coping admirably having their squad decimated in pre-season.

by **Audioslavia** » Sat Jan 30, 2021 2:48 pm

CdF Celtade Os Celts
Estadio Costa Branca, (Cap: 17500). Celta, Iberra

Domestic Honours - 0
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Plácido Sousa (36, G , AUD)
2. Iñigo Tio (32, D CR, AUD)
3. Gijsbert Van Buitenen (23, D LC, AUD)
4. Donovan Santiesteban (27, DM C, AUD)
5. Afonso Criado (27, D C, AUD)
7. Facundo Rosa (21, M/F CR, AUD)
8. Baillaire Fillar (17, AM C, CMT)
9. Luca Senna (26, F C, AUD)
10. Kausu Dione (24, F C, BNJ)
11. Guillem Serra (25, AM LCR, AUD)
12. Olegário Branco (21, D LC, AUD)
13. Coridai (25, F C, DAI)
14. Josep Ros (24, F C, AUD)
15. Vicente Mazariegos (29, M C, AUD)
19. Vernon Montesinos (31, D C, AUD)
20. Rodolf Sendra (20, M C, AUD)
22. Marnid Volland (28, G , NPH)
Mng. Jean-Pablo Costacurta-Groove (42, M R, HIN)

Starting XI: Volland - Tio, Branco, Criado, Montesinos - Rosa, Fillar, Serra - Senna, Dione, Ros

Last season, Celtade survived for two reasons. Firstly, they didn’t shy away from their opponents, fielding two or three striker in every game and contesting the midfield battle even against the strongest teams in the league. Secondly, they had Finn Townsend, the three MacCowan brothers and Valentino Escandon in the squad.

With four of that gang having been poached by Shamrock and Escandon departing for Townsend’s former employers North Hall, Celtade’s team this season has a very different feel. Commendably, they’re still trying to play football. Less commendably, they’re in the relegation playoff spots and are looking in real danger of going down, especially if Excelsior go back to winning ways.

The side have pinned their hopes on Chromatik playmaker Baillaire Fillar, sibling of Cazadores goalkeeper Juxon. Fillar though, despite her talents, is seventeen years of age. Precisely the reason he watched much of last season from the bench. It’s a lot of pressure to put on the shoulders of one so young, and though Fillar’s performances have shown promise, she’s not being helped nearly enough by those around her. Guillem Serra has gone off the boil since last season, Facundo Rosa struggling for match fitness, and the replacement midfielders of Mazariegos and Sendra haven’t been at the standard.

Fillar has forged an important partnership with Banijan striker Kauso Dione, an early-season arrival from Capitol City FC (not to be confused with the Simulland version), and it’s that that has gotten CdF some points so far, but they’ll need to keep up their escape act for the entire season, else they’ll be on their way out of the top flight.

20
The National League
Osarese Marcadia 3–1 AS Marcadia
Bombarralense 0–1 Union Cathair FC
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
1830 Cathair 2–0 CdF Celtade
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 AC Izotz Zubia

Cathair prove too strong for Celtade at the Arena Kirola, scoring either side of half-time through Xaime Medal and Steve Erickson. Fillar goes close at the other end late on, bringing a reaction save from Goran Stroud that earns them a corner, but by that time Cathair have done their usual schtick of bringing on the experienced Brenecian Niko Szubanski to close out the game and Szubanski spends the majority of the final ten minutes sweeping up Celtade’s atacks.

The next week’s game is a much more winnable one, with Celtade hosting promoted Tout-Puissant Hasiera.

Tout-Puissant Hasiera Les Coqs
Parc des Revenants, (Cap: 55000). Hasiera, La Chaine

Domestic Honours - 0
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Futuyna (33, G , DAI)
2. Pol Le Fur (31, D RL, AUD)
3. Aurelio Saez (34, D L, AUD)
4. Vulav-Izilv Lec (21, DM C, QUS)
5. Fayez Shaban (33, D LC, AUD)
6. Timeo Le Duff (21, D C, AUD)
7. Robert Gourcuff (23, M R, AUD)
8. Sean Prior (31, M/F C, AUD)
9. Foster Sivertsen-Bautista (28, F C, AUD)
10. Leonardo Bousquet (30, AM/F C, EFL)
11. Zainal Bilal (24, D/M LC, AUD)
12. Valentin Franck (22, M CR, AUD)
13. Bruno Borges (22, D/M L, AUD)
14. Evan Spencer (24, F C, HVY)
15. Txomin Lacouague (36, D LC, AUD)
16. Carter Morgensen (34, M C, AUD)
17. Cayden Le Hénaff (20, G , AUD)
18. Felix Mina (23, D C, AUD)
19. Caceres (36, F C, DAI)
31. Zorion Santisteban (18, M LC, AUD)
Mng. Reinaldo Schmidt (55, D RL, AUD)

First XI: Futuyna - Mina, Lacouague, Saez - Lec, Bilal - Gourcuff, Bousquet, Santiesteban - Sivertsen-Bautista, Spencer

Tout-Puissant, like their city rivals Tenth Star Hasiera, have always been a yo-yo team. After surviving the relegation playoffs for three seasons in a row at the start of the National League era, they responded to their eventual relegation by bouncing back immediately and somehow taking fifth place in season five, ahead of Mozi, Itzi and Shamrock. A succession of mid-table finishes followed, making the Globe Cup each time, but by season ten they’d returned to their old ways and, humiliatingly, were relegated via playoff defeat to cross-town rivals Tenth Star at the end of season ten.

Tenth Star would follow Tout-Puissant down the next season, but while TSH struggle, TPH found themselves promoted and, now, fighting for their National League survival once again.

The side have capitalized on the loan system in a similar way to Union, taking Zorion Santiesteban from Cazadores and borrowing Txomin Lacouague from Shamrock, who are still paying most of the 36 year-old’s wages. Lacouague, ineffective for Shamrock last season, has been solid for Tout-Puissant, heading the three-man central defensive partnership in a defensive 3-5-2 formation.

21
The National League
AC Izotz Zubia 2–0 1830 Cathair
CdF Celtade 0–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–4 Bombarralense
Union Cathair FC 1–1 Osarese Marcadia
Cazadores Cathair 0–3 KT Moreazerua

On a day where all eyes are on Zozi completing the double over Cathair in the Derby of Audioslavia, the only neutrals watching Celtade and Tout-Puissant cancel one another out - to the detriment of both - are those bored of watching Bomba score goals against Sicurezza and/or those waiting for Caza vs Mozi to start. Celtade’s one-trick attack crashes against the Hasieran shores, Tout-Puissant’s counter-attacks aren’t fast or accurate enough, and that’s the story of matchday twenty-one.

Calcio Sicurezza Elfi The Northern Marauders
Stadio Oromë, (Cap: 21800). Trentina, Padia

Domestic Honours - 0
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Ibrahim Mathisen (35, G , VAL)
2. Amalie Asghar (34, D R, VAL)
3. Bernhard Raabe (21, D L, VAL)
4. Thad Verhoek (25, DM C, AUD)
5. Gustav Marinussen (35, D CR, VAL)
6. Fredrik Pettersen (26, D C, VAL)
8. Petra Müthel (21, AM/F C, VAL)
9. Dennis Våge (29, F C, VAL)
11. Indra Söderström (20, M L, VAL)
12. Pablo Maia (33, D C, AUD)
13. Elijah Magri (30, M C, AUD)
14. Fredrik Skotnes (29, M RL, VAL)
16. Dylan Bain (30, D C, AUD)
16. Finnemolo Finnegan-McGillicudy-Herzog (17, M C, AUD)
19. Angelo Guariglia (27, DM C, AUD)
20. Robbie Bailey (27, M LC, AUD)
21. Archald Aguilar (30, M C, AUD)
22. Tober Nijboer (33, G , AUD)
Mng. Axel Tufte (54, , VAL)

First XI: Mathisen - Asghar, Raabe, Pettersen, Marinussen - Verhoek - Skotness, Magri, Söderström - Våge, Müthel

Marcadia has the Osarian immigrants, Hasiera the Mertians, while the mountainous Padian town of Trentina has the Vanorians. Whereas Trentina’s original club, Virtus Trentina, have never gotten out of the fourth tier, Sicurezza surprised everyone by blasting their way through to the top flight as a season eight expansion team and absolutely refusing to go back down.

The side combines journeymen from both Valanora and Audioslavia and uses them to support Indra Söderström, the side’s one boda-fide star. Pre-season saw the addition of Petra Müthel, adding a real zest to the attack, while twenty-nine year-old striker Dennis Våge may be closer to the moon than to Valanora’s national team roster, but is highly rated by the locals as a tireless blood, sweat and elbows striker with an eye for snatching a goal out of nowhere.

22
The National League
KT Moreazerua 4–1 Oljestaden IF
Osarese Marcadia 1–4 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Bombarralense 1–0 CdF Celtade
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 2–2 AC Izotz Zubia
1830 Cathair 0–0 KT Itzalovalle

Matchday twenty-two sees Våge and co at their best as they mug Osarese in the third minute, with Våge racing onto an errant backpass before Teruzuki can claim it and slotting the ball in for 1-0. Osarese dig their way back into the game but are 2-0 down before the break, with Söderström - nicknamed Soda-stream by the locals - bubbling up the left hand-side on the counter and setting Müthel up to double the side’s lead.

Osarese reply through Garnett Makanza, but Våge is there again with a near-post finish and Söderström adds a fourth at the end, pulling back a square ball at the edge of the box, creating space with a deft drop of the shoulder that sends Romneir to the shops for a paper, and coolly side-footing the ball into the bottom corner with Teruzuki rooted to the spot.

It’s Sicurezza’s final game before their three-matchday break. They’re not even close to being out of the danger zone (such is life at the mid-to-lower reaches of the National League), but they’re in good stead to secure yet another season in the top division

23
The National League
KT Itzalovalle 2–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
AC Izotz Zubia 1–0 Bombarralense
CdF Celtade 0–0 Osarese Marcadia
Excelsior Zijweg 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Oljestaden IF 3–3 Cazadores Cathair

24
The National League
Cazadores Cathair 5–0 Excelsior Zijweg
KT Moreazerua 1–0 Shamrock Cathair
Osarese Marcadia 2–1 AC Izotz Zubia
Bombarralense 1–0 KT Itzalovalle
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 0–6 1830 Cathair

25
The National League
1830 Cathair 1–0 Bombarralense
KT Itzalovalle 0–0 Osarese Marcadia
AS Marcadia 1–1 KT Moreazerua
Shamrock Cathair 1–1 Cazadores Cathair
Excelsior Zijweg 1–3 Oljestaden IF

The National League.         Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 1830 Cathair               19   12   2   5    34   10  +24    38
 2 KT Moreazerua              19   10   4   5    33   16  +17    34
 3 AC Izotz Zubia             19    9   6   4    31   23   +8    33
 4 Shamrock Cathair           16    9   4   3    31   12  +19    31
 5 Cazadores Cathair          18    9   4   5    31   20  +11    31
 6 Bombarralense              20    8   3   9    23   24   −1    27
 7 Osarese Marcadia           20    7   5   8    21   27   −6    26
 8 AS Marcadia                16    7   4   5    30   30    0    25
 9 KT Itzalovalle             19    5   7   7    18   20   −2    22
10 Union Cathair FC           16    6   3   7    19   20   −1    21
11 Oljestaden IF              17    5   5   7    28   30   −2    20
12 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      17    5   4   8    19   33  −14    19
13 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      19    4   6   9    20   35  −15    18
14 CdF Celtade                18    4   5   9     9   26  −17    17
15 Excelsior Zijweg           17    1   6  10    14   35  −21     9

It’s a two-week period with no team able to steal a match at the top but for 1830 Cathair, resounding winners over Tout-Puissant and fortunate to get all three points against a spirited Bomba side.

Cathair sit atop the division by four points from Mozi and five from Zozi, but Shamrock could surpass them if they win all of their three games in hand - perhaps with two wins and a draw if goal-difference goes their way.

Caza are making a better fist of things, with their draw away to Shamrock in the Cross Capital derby putting them within a victory of second place - their game in hand on the leaders.

In the hunt for the final Challengers’ Cup spots, Bomba and Osarese sit in sixth and seventh but having played more games than everyone, and it’s not outwith the realms of possibility that, with just a handful of games to go, AS Marcadia could have a serious chance of playing IFCF football next season.

Itzi’s early season slump means they’re in ninth, a point above Union but having played three more games, while Oljestaden are struggling to get even a .500 record.

At the bottom, Sicurezza, Tout-Puissant and Celtade were expected to be fighting it out at this end of the table, but Excelsior’s dreadful win record thus far - just one in seventeen, and that coming early on against Celtade - puts them dead last, a whopping eight points short of fourteenth and nine short of escape from the automatic relegation spots. By now out of the Challengers’ Cup by the hand of Kitara, the only thing Excelsior have to play for is their own survival.

30
The National League
Shamrock Cathair 1–0 Union Cathair FC
Excelsior Zijweg 2–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Oljestaden IF 1–0 CdF Celtade
Cazadores Cathair 0–2 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Moreazerua 0–2 KT Itzalovalle

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 1830 Cathair               20   13   2   5    35   10  +25    41
 2 Shamrock Cathair           20   12   4   4    38   14  +24    40
 3 Cazadores Cathair          23   12   4   7    37   26  +11    40
 4 KT Moreazerua              24   11   5   8    42   27  +15    38
 5 AC Izotz Zubia             21   10   6   5    33   27   +6    36
 6 Oljestaden IF              22    8   6   8    37   35   +2    30
 7 AS Marcadia                20    8   6   6    34   34    0    30
 8 Bombarralense              22    8   5   9    24   25   −1    29
 9 Osarese Marcadia           23    7   6  10    23   31   −8    27
10 KT Itzalovalle             20    6   7   7    20   20    0    25
11 Union Cathair FC           21    7   4  10    26   30   −4    25
12 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      21    7   4  10    27   41  −14    25
13 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      21    5   7   9    24   38  −14    22
14 CdF Celtade                21    4   6  11    11   31  −20    18
15 Excelsior Zijweg           21    2   8  11    21   43  −22    14

And that really is that for Mozi and Caza. Sure, there are leagues where being a point off the lead with seven matchdays to go has your fans rubbing their hands with glee (see: all other leagues) but this isn’t one of them. Caza have four games left to play and can attain a maximum of 52 points, which has never been enough to win the league.

Moreazerua, two points back with one fewer game to play, can’t do any better. They’ve scored the third most goals in the league thus far, but they’ve lost more games than struggling Itzalovalle, down in tenth, and can reach a maximum of 47 points - their exact points total last season.

Zozi are a further two points back, but the champions have two games in hand and are at least on course to better their own points total from last season, though whether it’ll quite be enough this time round is doubtful. What’s more, they’ve played a game more than both Shamrock and 1830 Cathair at the top, and it’s looking like the winner of this season’s national league will be between these two old rivals.

By now, both sides have tumbled out of the Champions League. This is the only prize either team has their eye on.

31
The National League
1830 Cathair 0–1 KT Moreazerua
KT Itzalovalle 1–1 Cazadores Cathair
AC Izotz Zubia 2–1 Oljestaden IF
CdF Celtade 1–0 Excelsior Zijweg
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–2 Shamrock Cathair
Union Cathair FC 4–0 AS Marcadia

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           21   13   4   4    40   14  +26    43
 2 1830 Cathair               21   13   2   6    35   11  +24    41
 3 KT Moreazerua              25   12   5   8    43   27  +16    41
 4 Cazadores Cathair          24   12   5   7    38   27  +11    41
 5 AC Izotz Zubia             22   11   6   5    35   28   +7    39
 6 Oljestaden IF              23    8   6   9    38   37   +1    30
 7 AS Marcadia                21    8   6   7    34   38   −4    30
 8 Bombarralense              22    8   5   9    24   25   −1    29
 9 Union Cathair FC           22    8   4  10    30   30    0    28
10 Osarese Marcadia           23    7   6  10    23   31   −8    27
11 KT Itzalovalle             21    6   8   7    21   21    0    26
12 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      22    7   4  11    27   43  −16    25
13 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      21    5   7   9    24   38  −14    22
14 CdF Celtade                22    5   6  11    12   31  −19    21
15 Excelsior Zijweg           22    2   8  12    21   44  −23    14

Thad Verhoek’s 80th-minute defensive howler finally gives Shamrock a break-through, and Alexander Crewe’s men put the game away on 86 minutes to go clear at the top following the Tea-timers’ failure to get anything from their home tie with Mozi, who score through Rijsbergen and hold strong over five final and frantic minutes.

At the bottom, Celtade’s descent towards doom is quelled by victory over Excelsior, the only goal of the game coming in the 91st minute of play with Baillaire Fillar collecting a bouncing ball and cutting in a far-post finish to the frenzied delight of the home fans.

In Izotzazubia, Ivan Sandiev’s fourteenth-minute volley is cancelled out altogether by two similarly sublime goals, the first via a far-post diving header from Vesuvia Carrick, the second a thirty-yard surface-to-soul missile from Fortune Russell that completes a Brenecian-blue one-two for Zozi.

Elsewhere, AS Marcadia’s fine form stutters to a complete halt as Fergus Coren, Ronan Fallon and Baker MacGeouch score a goal, with the fourth coming from a hopelessly placed back-pass from Lance Bensom bypassing the goalkeeper by a good fifteen feet and rolling stupidly into the bottom corner.

32
The National League
AS Marcadia 0–0 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Shamrock Cathair 5–1 CdF Celtade
Excelsior Zijweg 1–0 AC Izotz Zubia
Oljestaden IF 1–1 KT Itzalovalle
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 1830 Cathair
KT Moreazerua 2–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera

That is only Excelsior’s third win of the season.
That’s also Cazadores Cathair defeating their hated city rivals to go three points ahead of them in the league - albeit having played three games more - and massively dent Cathair’s hopes of another title. Rasmus Caracole is the hero for the men in deep red, cutting inside and drilling an unexpected low shot in at the near post with Stroud stood stock still in total disbelief that someone would even try to do him like that.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           22   14   4   4    45   15  +30    46
 2 KT Moreazerua              26   13   5   8    45   27  +18    44
 3 Cazadores Cathair          25   13   5   7    39   27  +12    44
 4 1830 Cathair               22   13   2   7    35   12  +23    41
 5 AC Izotz Zubia             23   11   6   6    35   29   +6    39
 6 Oljestaden IF              24    8   7   9    39   38   +1    31
 7 AS Marcadia                22    8   7   7    34   38   −4    31
 8 Bombarralense              22    8   5   9    24   25   −1    29
 9 Union Cathair FC           22    8   4  10    30   30    0    28
10 KT Itzalovalle             22    6   9   7    22   22    0    27
11 Osarese Marcadia           23    7   6  10    23   31   −8    27
12 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      23    7   5  11    27   43  −16    26
13 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      22    5   7  10    24   40  −16    22
14 CdF Celtade                23    5   6  12    13   36  −23    21
15 Excelsior Zijweg           23    3   8  12    22   44  −22    17

It’s looking more and more like it’s Shamrock’s to lose, but there are still six games to go and the gap is just five points to 1830 Cathair. What’s more, they travel to AC Izotz Zubia next week while Teatimer fans are confident their team can overcome Oljestaden at home.

33
The National League
Bombarralense 3–1 KT Moreazerua
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 0–2 Cazadores Cathair
1830 Cathair 1–1 Oljestaden IF
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 Excelsior Zijweg
AC Izotz Zubia 2–1 Shamrock Cathair
CdF Celtade 2–0 AS Marcadia
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–1 Union Cathair FC

Caza fans react to news that they’re top of the league with laughter after their two-nothing win over Tout-Puissant, sarcastically chanting we’re gonna win the league in front of an emptying Parc des Revenants.

Fans of Shamrock and 1830 Cathair mock them for it as if they were doing it seriously, and then proceed to emphatically not look like winning the league themselves.

Cathair play first, are torn apart by Cocoabo 91 and Ivan Sandiev within the first ten minutes and are lucky to only be one goal down, and spend the rest of the game being shithoused out a point by an increasingly emboldening Oljestaden side. It takes until the 87th minute before the unlikely figure of Ross Okano rises to meet a corner and send it on its way to the inside of the post with a wink.

Shamrock know they can steal a march at the top of the league, but it’s easier said than done against Zozi, form whom Julia Müller is in insistent form, scoring a penalty and a side-footed finish before partial namesake Möller’s late reply.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair          26   14   5   7    41   27  +14    47
 2 Shamrock Cathair           23   14   4   5    46   17  +29    46
 3 KT Moreazerua              27   13   5   9    46   30  +16    44
 4 1830 Cathair               23   13   3   7    36   13  +23    42
 5 AC Izotz Zubia             24   12   6   6    37   30   +7    42
 6 Bombarralense              23    9   5   9    27   26   +1    32
 7 Oljestaden IF              25    8   8   9    40   39   +1    32
 8 AS Marcadia                23    8   7   8    34   40   −6    31
 9 KT Itzalovalle             23    7   9   7    23   22   +1    30
10 Union Cathair FC           23    8   5  10    31   31    0    29
11 Osarese Marcadia           23    7   6  10    23   31   −8    27
12 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      24    7   6  11    28   44  −16    27
13 CdF Celtade                24    6   6  12    15   36  −21    24
14 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      23    5   7  11    24   42  −18    22
15 Excelsior Zijweg           24    3   8  13    22   45  −23    17

Moreazerua’s late season slump (smashing Zozi 4-0 in Izotzazubia not withstanding) continues with defeat to Bombarralense in a one-sided game, with young striker Cillian Hurdly on the scoreboard for the visitors alongside Daczibog Ketadzic and Marti Calderon.

At the bottom, a player by the name of Finnemolo Finnegan-McGillicudy-Herzog (even though the sound of it is really quite atertsog?) scores for Sicurezza to drag them one point closer to safety.

Osarese Marcadia, previously in contention for a Challengers’ Cup spot, have been dragged down into the relegation battle - such is life in a league where ‘mid-table’ is just three positions.

34
The National League
Union Cathair FC 0–1 CdF Celtade
AS Marcadia 0–3 AC Izotz Zubia
Shamrock Cathair 3–4 KT Itzalovalle
Excelsior Zijweg 0–3 1830 Cathair
Oljestaden IF 1–2 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Cazadores Cathair 0–0 Bombarralense
KT Moreazerua 0–2 Osarese Marcadia

Celtade bag a crucial win to keep ahead of Tout-Puissant at the bottom, who themselves defeat Oljestaden to widen the game at the bottom to eight points. Excelsior, beaten 3-0 by 1830 Cathair, are now all but doomed, needing nothing less than three wins on the bounce - and other results to go their way - to avoid the drop.

Cathair’s win puts them closer to Shamrock, who lose a three-one lead against Itzi to fall 4-3 right at the death, with Eneko Burionagonatotorecagageazcoechea emerging from the bench to sweep Itzi into the Challengers’ Cup places at the death and ensure no Shamrock fan will be unclenching any time soon.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair          27   14   6   7    41   27  +14    48
 2 Shamrock Cathair           24   14   4   6    49   21  +28    46
 3 1830 Cathair               24   14   3   7    39   13  +26    45
 4 AC Izotz Zubia             25   13   6   6    40   30  +10    45
 5 KT Moreazerua              28   13   5  10    46   32  +14    44
 6 KT Itzalovalle             24    8   9   7    27   25   +2    33
 7 Bombarralense              24    9   6   9    27   26   +1    33
 8 Oljestaden IF              26    8   8  10    41   41    0    32
 9 AS Marcadia                24    8   7   9    34   43   −9    31
10 Osarese Marcadia           24    8   6  10    25   31   −6    30
11 Union Cathair FC           24    8   5  11    31   32   −1    29
12 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      24    7   6  11    28   44  −16    27
13 CdF Celtade                25    7   6  12    16   36  −20    27
14 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      24    6   7  11    26   43  −17    25
15 Excelsior Zijweg           25    3   8  14    22   48  −26    17

Caza’s failure to convert a number of golden opportunities against Bombarralense in Monday evening’s fixture somewhat dampens their supporters’ spirits, who had made a ‘thing’ out of ‘wErE gOnNa WiN tHe LeAgUe’ chants, but nevertheless with a game to go for them, and many more for their opponents, they are indeed top of the division.

As for KT Moreazerua, they round out a pathetic end to the season with capitulation to Osarese Marcadia. The gap between themselves and the teams below is eleven points, which should be enough to remain fifth, but there’ll be no Champions League football for the men in purple this season, and their fans are utterly disgusted with the whole thing.

35
The National League
Osarese Marcadia 2–3 Cazadores Cathair
Bombarralense 2–1 Oljestaden IF
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–1 Excelsior Zijweg
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 AS Marcadia
AC Izotz Zubia 2–1 Union Cathair FC
CdF Celtade 1–2 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair          28   15   6   7    44   29  +15    51
 2 AC Izotz Zubia             26   14   6   6    42   31  +11    48
 3 Shamrock Cathair           24   14   4   6    49   21  +28    46
 4 1830 Cathair               24   14   3   7    39   13  +26    45
 5 KT Moreazerua              28   13   5  10    46   32  +14    44
 6 KT Itzalovalle             25    9   9   7    28   25   +3    36
 7 Bombarralense              25   10   6   9    29   27   +2    36
 8 Oljestaden IF              27    8   8  11    42   43   −1    32
 9 AS Marcadia                25    8   7  10    34   44  −10    31
10 Osarese Marcadia           25    8   6  11    27   34   −7    30
11 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      25    8   6  11    30   45  −15    30
12 Union Cathair FC           25    8   5  12    32   34   −2    29
13 CdF Celtade                26    7   6  13    17   38  −21    27
14 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      25    6   8  11    27   44  −17    26
15 Excelsior Zijweg           26    3   9  14    23   49  −26    18

Having played all 28 games and sitting atop the league, Cazadores’ fans hold a sarcastic ‘league champions’ celebration on the Saturday evening, after their win over Osarese but before AC Izotz Zubia close the gap with victory over Union. At the bottom, Sicurezza drag themselves out of the relegation zone (and dump Union in) with an away win over Celtade that puts CdF in big trouble, especially with Sunday afternoon’s game being Tout-Puissant versus bottom-of-the-table Excelsior. It’s a match both sides need to win - Excelsior to keep their slim survivial hopes alive, Tout-Puissant to drag themselves out of the automatic relegation spots - but the final score is one each. Excelsior are down. Tout-Puissant will join them if they can’t rustle together some points over their final three games.

The big match comes on Monday evening. Billed as a title decider, it’s 1830 Cathair at home to Shamrock.

by **Audioslavia** » Tue Feb 02, 2021 7:09 pm

36
The National League
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–3 AC Izotz Zubia
Union Cathair FC 1–2 KT Itzalovalle
AS Marcadia 0–1 1830 Cathair
Shamrock Cathair 2–1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Excelsior Zijweg 0–1 Bombarralense
Oljestaden IF 1–1 Osarese Marcadia

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 1830 Cathair               26   16   3   7    42   13  +29    51
 2 Cazadores Cathair          28   15   6   7    44   29  +15    51
 3 AC Izotz Zubia             27   15   6   6    45   31  +14    51
 4 Shamrock Cathair           26   15   4   7    51   24  +27    49
 5 KT Moreazerua              28   13   5  10    46   32  +14    44
 6 KT Itzalovalle             26   10   9   7    30   26   +4    39
 7 Bombarralense              26   11   6   9    30   27   +3    39
 8 Oljestaden IF              28    8   9  11    43   44   −1    33
 9 Osarese Marcadia           26    8   7  11    28   35   −7    31
10 AS Marcadia                26    8   7  11    34   45  −11    31
11 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      26    8   6  12    30   48  −18    30
12 Union Cathair FC           26    8   5  13    33   36   −3    29
13 CdF Celtade                26    7   6  13    17   38  −21    27
14 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      26    6   8  12    28   46  −18    26
15 Excelsior Zijweg           27    3   9  15    23   50  −27    18

“One down, two to go” is the line, as 1830 Cathair scrape past AS Marcadia via a solitary goal, this one scored by Thorsten Kramer. That evening, Shamrock take on Tout-Puissant in a match of vital importance at both ends of the table. Shamrock need to win to stay in touching distance of 1830 Cathair, and while the game is mired at 1-1 for much of the second half, Finn Townsend pops up at the edge of the area with a looping header into the top corner to snatch a vital win.

37
The National League
AC Izotz Zubia 2–2 CdF Celtade

 There is a third team in this title fight, of course, but Zozi’s season ends a week before the two Catharan clubs, and their 2-2 draw with a fired-up Celtade, for whom Baillaire Fillar and Kausu Dione score, means the league title is all but an impossibility.

37
The National League
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 0–1 AS Marcadia
KT Itzalovalle 2–1 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Osarese Marcadia 1–1 Excelsior Zijweg

Tout-Puissant can’t get the job done against AS Marcadia, for whom Alessandro Juliana has clearly been of vital importance this season. Marcadia won’t quite be making it into the Challengers’ Cup this season, but another couple good results would see them qualify for the Vilitan Cove Invitational which is more than most fans were hoping for at the start of the season. Rivals Osarese will push them close, but it’s AS who have been the talk of the season.

Elsewhere, Itzalovalle close the gap between themselves and KT Moreazerua to just two points. Having gone into week twelve in last place, looking up at Mozi in third, it’s remarkable how both sides’ fortunes have changed.

37
The National League
Bombarralense 0–4 Shamrock Cathair

Oh Sunday night. What a night. Shamrock destroy Bomba at the Estadio das Trevas and there’s really little Bomba could have done. Alexander Crewe’s boys (and girls, and pony) are irresistible in terms of their energy and drive. Even the Bomba fans are getting in on the action, joining in with the occasional anti-1830 chant here and there. Bomba, in seventh, have already qualified for the Challengers’ Cup and have had, by their standards, a quiet season. Bomba, too, join in in getting more and more vocal the night goes on, largely due to the news coming from the match happening concurrently in Cathair.

37
The National League
1830 Cathair 0–0 Union Cathair FC

And of all the teams to throw a wrench in the machinery, it’s the team founded by people who once started a strike by jamming a mill with a hammer and a sickle. Union Cathair, fighting relegation, eke out a point against their city rivals to the horror of the home support.

Weirdly enough though, whether 1830 Cathair can win the title or not is more or less in their hands.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           27   16   4   7    55   24  +31    52
 2 1830 Cathair               27   16   4   7    42   13  +29    52
 3 AC Izotz Zubia             28   15   7   6    47   33  +14    52
 4 Cazadores Cathair          28   15   6   7    44   29  +15    51
 5 KT Moreazerua              28   13   5  10    46   32  +14    44
 6 KT Itzalovalle             27   11   9   7    32   27   +5    42
 7 Bombarralense              27   11   6  10    30   31   −1    39
 8 AS Marcadia                27    9   7  11    35   45  −10    34
 9 Oljestaden IF              28    8   9  11    43   44   −1    33
10 Osarese Marcadia           27    8   8  11    29   36   −7    32
11 Union Cathair FC           27    8   6  13    33   36   −3    30
12 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi      27    8   6  13    31   50  −19    30
13 CdF Celtade                27    7   7  13    19   40  −21    28
14 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      27    6   8  13    28   47  −19    26
15 Excelsior Zijweg           28    3  10  15    24   51  −27    19

On the final day of the season, Shamrock host Osarese and 1830 Cathair travel to Calcio Sicurezza Elfi. If Shamrock win, they will win the league unless 1830 Cathair can make up a three-point swing goal difference. If Shamrock win 3-0, Cathair will need to win 6-0 to get ahead on tiebreakers.

After years of finishing second in the most heartbreaking of ways (see literally any episode of A Tale of Two Cathairs, Shamrock have their destiny in their own hands.

Shamrock’s Galactico Finn Townsend heads a captain’s goal past Teruzuki at the near post to give Shamrock an early lead against Osarese Marcadia, who themselves need a point to be sure of avoiding the relegation playoff they’ll fall into should Calcio Sicurezza Elfi win. Sicurezza though are playing 1830 Cathair, and themselves fall behind to a Tryfon Vlahilaldes long-ranger after fifteen minutes. The goal spurs Cathair on, but has the side-effect of causing Osarese to relax in their game against Shamrock. Colm O’Tuathail almost makes it 2-0 to the men in green, while Erik Moselle does so for Cathair on the stroke of half time.

Shamrock one up, 1830 Cathair two up. If it stays like this, Shamrock will be champions. If Cathair can get two goals without reply and Shamrock can’t win by more than a goal, it will be Shamrock who take the title.

Thorsten Kramer dives in at the far post to give 1830 Cathair a three-goal lead, and Xaime Medal is quick as a flash in fishing the ball out of the net and booting it back up to the centre circle. Sicurezza, by now certain to have to fight things out in a relegation playoff once more, catch their breath and prepare themselves for the onslaught. Pride was at stake for Sicurezza, gold for 1830 Cathair.

Shamrock all but go to pieces in the second half, giving the ball away at every opportunity, failing to put even the most basic passages of play together, as Osarese start to realise there are points to be had. Teenage substitute Bong Min-Joong has the ball in the net and the score at 1-1 for a few heartstopping seconds before the linesman raises his flag, nodding towards a supposed infraction from the winger. A push, apparently, on Carmelo MacCowan, who then proceeds to feign an injury to his shoulder after first glancing at Finn Townsend and watching as Finn mimed ‘oh no my arm is hurting’ from twenty metres away.

Cathair go close to the title-winning goal through Kramer, who blasts an effort narrowly wide after being put through on goal, and Shakira Handris tests goalkeeper Ibrahim Mathisen on eighty-five minutes with a near-post finish that the keeper somehow manages to bat away.

Steve Erickson and Eneco Carebello come onto the pitch for the final two minutes in place of both full-backs as Cathair switch to a 1-4-5 formation, throwing everything they have at a Sicurezza prepared to deny them the title out of spite. Sōderstrōm is their only real outlet as Sicurezza go 5-4-1, and on tw occasion they can break free on the counter. Goran Stroud stands up well and blocks a chipped finish on 88 minutes. He’s beaten in the 90th minute by a curled effort they rebounds off the foot of the post.

Shakira Handris crosses the ball in for Steve Erickson in the final, final minute of added time, and Erickson unleashes a shot which Mathisen can only stare at as it flies past him and cannons off his post. The rebound falls to Xaime Medal, who can’t hook his foot round it and can only send the ball into the side-netting from an acute angle.

The final whistles blow in both games at the same time. Alexander Crewe, Shamrock’s second Apoxian manager in a row, sinks to his knees and throws haymakers at the sky. After years of finishing as runners up, Shamrock are finally, finally the Champions of Audioslavia for a second time.

38
The National League
CdF Celtade 0–0 KT Itzalovalle
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 0–3 1830 Cathair
Union Cathair FC 2–1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
AS Marcadia 1–0 Bombarralense
Shamrock Cathair 1–0 Osarese Marcadia

National Two                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Sparta Zijweg              38   23   7   8    71   34  +37    76 Promoted
 2 SC Laivanrakentajas        38   20   7  11    50   29  +21    67 Promoted
 3 Tenth Star Hasiera         38   18   9  11    42   33   +9    63 Promotion Playoff
 4 Guerrilla Cathair          38   17  10  11    43   29  +14    61 Promotion Playoff
 5 Sobrevolante               38   15  13  10    49   39  +10    58
 6 KT Ferramendiak            38   16   9  13    36   32   +4    57
 7 Crossport Dynamo           38   16   9  13    37   42   −5    57
 8 KT Laranjauzia             38   15   9  14    41   36   +5    54
 9 KT Koroatuz                38   15   9  14    34   34    0    54
10 Burdoc Ridge               38   15   9  14    35   37   −2    54
11 Eletti Valligiani          38   14  11  13    36   38   −2    53
12 Laranjeiras                38   14   9  15    39   38   +1    51
13 Ceilerden Rovers           38   13  11  14    31   31    0    50
14 Silexhera FC               38   14   7  17    33   48  −15    49
15 Santa Margarida            38   12  12  14    46   36  +10    48
16 Isle of Kjeligsted FC      38   12   9  17    31   41  −10    45
17 Corações                   38   11   6  21    29   56  −27    39 Relegated
18 Hibernação                 38    9  11  18    26   44  −18    38 Relegated
19 Alistoun Academicals       38   10   7  21    38   56  −18    37 Relegated
20 The Oran                   38    8  12  18    37   51  −14    36 Relegated

Sparta Zijweg Spartans
Sparta-stadion, (Cap: 12450). Zijweg, Central

As one Zijweg side departs, the other arrives. Sparta have never played in the top flight before, and last season were mired in mid-table while Excelsior were qualifying for the Challengers’ Cup, but the tide appears to have turned.

The city of Zijweg started out as a spring that, if you were travelling directly north from Cathair, was a good place to rest and refuel your horse. The spring became a village, which became a town, largely based around the long stretch of road and the river that ran across it. The discovery of an enormous salt-mine nearby prompted the town to spread eastwards and sprawl into a weirdly Y-shaped city, and that’s where the name comes from.

The two branches of Zijweg are named Baronwater and Saltway, the former named after anglicized bastardizations of the local dialect (specifically the words bronwater, meaning spring), and the latter anglicized to ‘Saltway’ after foreigners kept pronouncing ‘De Zoutroute’ as ‘Chootyrooty’ and laughing.

Baronwater is picturesque in a boring, postcardy way, ruthlessly maintained by the local government and, by all accounts, an incredibly boring place to live. Saltway is, on the other hand, a depressing place to live, full of brutalist architecture and factories, but to be fair it is rarely boring, and away from the urban areas there are as many hills as you could walk in a year and just as many pubs to get drunk in.

Excelsior are from Baronwater, Sparta are from Saltway.

Excelsior are an easy team for sponsors to get behind and an easy club to sell as a workplace to older foreigners looking for someone their wife would like when deciding which club to spend their mid-thirties at.
 Sparta are not the sort of team that attracts sponsors easily. Which is arguably why they have such a good following, despite their stature.

Sparta’s stadium is in the middle of a residential area, squeezed in between rows of terraced housing, with two factories close to each corner. One such factory builds motorbikes, the other belongs to Daira, a prominent Audioslavian confectioner. Once a week, the latter factory burns off their equipment to prepare for cleaning, sending the rich smell of smoked caramel up into the night sky. The rest of the time, the stadium smells of burnt oil and rubber. The overall effect is that Sparta are a simple pie-and-a-bovril football team to take your son to on a Saturday morning to watch some local lads give some out-of-towners what-for.

People like Sparta.

The name is just a name. Despite the working class background, Sparta are named Sparta because someone, a long time ago, thought it sounded cool.

Manager Henrik Eastfielder, largely an unknown in Audioslavian football, took the side to the top of the league and kept them there last season. The Spartans will attempt to emulate their city rivals in challenging at the top half of the National League, and will try to avoid the same fate that beset Excelsior this season.

[box]

Laivanrakentajan JPS Laika
Persikan Kaistastadion, (Cap: 18500). Laivanrakentajas, Hyland

The second of the three debutants, Laika used to play in the R49 in the old LigAnaia system without ever getting close to the top division. Their highest finish was a heady 27th out of 49 in season twelve of the Anaia era.

Laika as the club’s nickname has two meanings. Firstly it’s a diminutive of the town’s name, secondly it has an association with one of the town’s two main industries.

For centuries, Laivanrakentajas’s shipyards built most of Audioslavia’s naval fleet, as well as a number of yachts and cruiseliners to be sent out to countries around the world. The industry is what the town is named after - laivanrakentajas means shipwrights in the local dialect, which is a tongue unlike any other in the country.

With the coming of the modern age and the rebuilding of the nation after recession, shipbuilding isn’t the industry it once was, leading to a downturn in fortunes for the town. Only two shipbuilding companies remain, one surviving on brand name alone and its apparently notability among rich foreigners whose three gold-plated yachts suddenly aren’t quite enough, the other on military contracts, which only happen when that one scary political party gets into power once every forty years. In the intervening years they twiddle their thumbs, do some subcontracting and take brief sojourns into building artisanal pirate ships for passing wealthy lunatics.

The industry which once employed 80% of the town now provides work for barely 2% of it. The defecit has, however, been replaced.

One company that decided it had use for four abandoned shipyards was Exeter, a private aeronautics firm with ambitions bigger than you’d expect with a name like that (it is, for the avoidance of doubt, named for the idea of exitting terra, not for the sleepy southern RL States town). Owned by tax-dodging billionaire arsehole Moschatos Short, Exeter have been doing extensive and expensive research into automated and re-useable rocket ships, with lofty plans to get to Mars or even further afield.

The result was that, almost as soon as the engineering jobs disappeared in the shipyards, they reappeared in the aeronautical industry.

The football team play at Persikan Kaistastadion, which pleasingly translates to Peach Lane Stadium in English. There are no peaches in Laivanrakentajas.

Guerrilla Cathair The Monstrous Regiment
Highfield Park, (Cap: 12000). Cathair, Central

Following the Union Cathair style - but in a different way to Laivan - is Guerrilla Cathair, a famous club in Audioslavia but one that has typically bounced around the lower leagues. Guerrilla Cathair are an all-female side founded a half-century ago, inspired by the rise to prominence of Audioslavia’s first ever female footballer R.J. Styrn. Since RJ, only two Audioslavian women have managed to make it to the big time: former Moreazerua winger Azucena Llorente and former 1830 Cathair and Mulholland midfielder ‘Flash’ Ripley Morrisson, both with a handful of caps for the national team and solid if unremarkable careers aside from their sex.

Audioslavian women are at a disadvantage compared to the men. Shorter and slighter than their male counterparts and much less efficient at turning hard work and protein into speed, strength and endurance, it takes ten times more effort to even get close to the fitness levels of even the laziest second division player, let alone the required level to compete in the top flight. As such, Guerrilla Cathair, nicknamed the Monstrous Regiment, have always taken the bulk of their playing staff from abroad, where the gap between the sexes isn’t so prominent. That’s not to say they can’t or won’t pick Audioslavian women, and it’s not as if they’re anti-men either - a number of male footballers have turned out for Guerrilla over the years, either as short-term backups or long-term members of the squad. The ones that leave tell stories of the majority-female dressing-rooms being learier and more macho than most male ones.

In response to accusations from shitcake journalists of being anti-men or in some way flouting Audioslavia’s discrimination laws, Guerrilla can point to the men who have thrown on the black shirts of The Regiment, but more often they’ll shrug and point out, calmly, that it’s simply a club that isn’t for men. FC Teussen Stelburg only employ Teus, Ferratzaileak have a Herradurans-only rule, the likes of Sicurezza, Osarese and Tenth Star have always shown preference to Vanorians, Osarians and Mertians respectively. Shamrock have always preferred players from Cathair’s predominantly white east-side, Cazadores have always had a core of players from the west of the city, so why can’t Guerrilla prefer hiring women?

Whether you consider the gender-based signing policy as a disadvantage is up to you. What’s objectively a disadvantage is their other signing policy: No money. While not an amateur club, Guerrilla have always taken a Contro Il Calcio Moderna stance when it comes to money. They refuse to pay transfer fees for players outside of generous signing-on bonuses, and each and every player receives the same wage as one another each season. How high the wage is decided on a players’ vote at the start of each season, with the board having the power to veto the players’ first offer and make a counter-offer. If the counter-offer is rejected by the players, the players are free to either leave or to play with an automatic rolling contract at 107% of the previous year’s salary.

Yes. It’s very bolshy. Even players at Union Cathair, whose crest depicts a hammer-and-sickle and whose pink and red colours were chosen as a nod to their far-left background, look at Guerrilla and frown.

Whereas Union have always been in Shamrock’s shadow on the eastern side, Guerrilla have 1830 Cathair for company. Highfield Park is within walking distance of the Arena Kirola, whose white exterior walls can be seen clearly from Guerrilla’s ground. The stadium isn’t quite in Grand Forum, the well-to-do area of Cathair that houses the city’s vast financial sector and boasts some of the most expensive housing in Atlantian Oceania, and instead lies literally the other side of the train-tracks in Collinan, a district of the city known for its multitude of student housing interspersed with thrift shops, bookmakers and derelict warehouses-turned-breweries, all surrounding a textile mill that once provided the all black kits for the stadium’s previous incumbents Collinan Grove Football Club, who folded shortly after Audioslavian football turned professional. Guerrilla adopted the team’s old colours of all-black, to which they’ve added a dash of pink. In some countries that’d be a statement. As it stands, they’re the third team from the top fifteen to have pink as their primary colour.

In breaking into the top flight, Guerrilla Cathair are pretty far from home. Yet they’ve been taken there by a manager who has proven themselves to be as talented on the bench as they ever were on a football pitch. For the last eighteen months, Guerrilla have been guided by the personification of the very soul of Guerrilla Cathair. A player who never played for the club - instead plying their trade at Cazadores and 1830 Cathair - but who inadvertently had a hand in its formation.

Her name is R.J. Styrn.

Kirola Cup 1st Round
Burnfax Trinity 0–0 Glesca Royals (0–1 AET)
DDM Dunas Secas 1–0 KT Kanpoldelko
Maccabi Hasiera 2–5 Cerejeiras
Viking Hryggur 3–0 Leftfield Steelworks
Viking Halehavn 1–0 Leftfield United
Ceilerden Harp 0–1 Ross Rovers
Ceilerden Rovers 0–1 Garden City FC
Sporting Clube Marinheiros 1–3 2130 Calolziolungho
CF Cruceros 1–0 Deportivo de Puerta Cruz
KT Ferramendiak 0–2 Clockwork FC
Kitherwell 1–0 Fundición
Calcio Lecho 0–1 Albakirk Athletic
Frecce 2–1 Edina City
Ross Railway 1–1 Vidrieros (1–1 AET) (3–4 pen.)
CdFS Ilheiros 0–0 Valderantia United (0–0 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Valens AV 3–0 Leftfield Owls
Lawport FC 2–2 Glesca Rebels (3–2 AET)
Straitport Rovers 3–2 Orquideas

Kirola Cup 2nd Round
Lawport FC 0–5 KT Moreazerua
Garden City FC 1–3 Artiglieria
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 3–1 Valens AV
DDM Dunas Secas 1–2 Viking Halehavn
Laranjeiras 2–0 Crossport Mariners
KT Ferratzaileak 2–1 Osarese Marcadia
The Oran 0–1 Cazadores Cathair
KT Koroatuz 3–1 AS Marcadia
SC Laivanrakentajas 0–1 Guerrilla Cathair
Sparta Zijweg 1–1 Burdoc Ridge (2–1 AET)
Excelsior Zijweg 2–0 Silexhera FC
C.D. Portobranco 0–2 Crossport Dynamo
Hibernação 1–2 Iron Brewery
2130 Calolziolungho 0–2 Valão
Ross Rovers 0–2 Straitport Rovers
CdF Celtade 0–0 Albakirk Athletic (0–0 AET) (3–4 pen.)
Corações 0–0 1830 Cathair (0–0 AET) (2–4 pen.)
KT Laranjauzia 1–2 Kitherwell
Sobrevolante 2–1 KT Itzalovalle
Frecce 2–1 Sporting Clube de São Jeremías
Calcio Sicurezza Elfi 1–0 Glesca Royals
Necromarinai 0–3 Union Cathair
Huiszwalluw FC 1–0 Lemmitania State FC
Cerejeiras 0–3 Shamrock Cathair
Santa Margarida 4–1 Reina Del Sud
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–0 Clockwork FC
Bombarralense 0–1 Oljestaden IF
CF Herradores 0–1 Viking Hryggur
CF Cruceros 0–1 Alistoun Academicals
Vidrieros 1–0 CdFS Ilheiros
Tenth Star Hasiera 1–0 Eletti Valligiani
Uniao Tortuguita 3–4 AC Izotz Zubia

Kirola Cup 3rd Round
Viking Hryggur 0–1 Alistoun Academicals
Cazadores Cathair 2–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Santa Margarida 3–1 Viking Halehavn
AC Izotz Zubia 0–1 Oljestaden IF
Guerrilla Cathair 2–0 Laranjeiras
Frecce 2–3 Artiglieria
Tenth Star Hasiera 1–2 Shamrock Cathair
1830 Cathair 0–1 Excelsior Zijweg
Straitport Rovers 1–3 KT Ferratzaileak
Sobrevolante 0–2 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi
Sparta Zijweg 1–0 Iron Brewery
KT Koroatuz 6–1 Albakirk Athletic
Kitherwell 0–2 Vidrieros
Huiszwalluw FC 0–2 KT Moreazerua
Crossport Dynamo 3–4 Valão
Union Cathair 0–1 Isle of Kjeligsted FC

Kirola Cup 4th Round
Guerrilla Cathair 2–0 Vidrieros
KT Ferratzaileak 0–0 Alistoun Academicals (1–0 AET)
Santa Margarida 1–1 KT Moreazerua (1–2 AET)
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 0–1 Artiglieria
Shamrock Cathair 1–0 Sparta Zijweg
Oljestaden IF 3–1 Valão
Excelsior Zijweg 0–3 Cazadores Cathair
KT Koroatuz 1–2 Calcio Sicurezza Elfi

End of season awards: Coming soon

by **Audioslavia** » Wed Jun 23, 2021 10:50 am

Season 15

The fifteenth season of The National League - and the 29th season of professional domestic football in total for Audioslavia, sees a slight branding change. Gone is the Novastrella and the wee green crown is notable by its absence - such Anaian branding isn't necessary for everything now that the region has been officially established - in its place a simple logo in bright Audioslavian colours, and a removal of the word 'the' for stylistic purposes.

Mixu Virtanen rubbed his hands together in the stands, partly to keep warm, partly due to excitement. On the field, eleven men in grey shirts emerged.

Laivanrakentajan JPS Laika
Persikan Kaistastadion , (Cap: 18500). Laivanrakentajas, Hyland

Domestic Honours - 0
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Tapani Haataja (26, G , AUD)
2. Jaana Jokinen (26, D R, SRS)
4. Anders Ibsen (27, DM C, AUD) (c)
5. Mikael Laakso (25, D CL, AUD)
6. Eric Soren (27, D CR, AUD)
7. Mikelatz Idaberry (32, F C, ASG)
8. Patricio Seda-Thompson (24, AM C, AUD)
9. Axel Gustavsen (24, F C, AUD)
10. Olavi Kivela (20, AM C, AUD)
11. Matthias Raphaelsson (24, M L, GRF)
12. Izzat Nuri (23, F C, AUD)
13. Waldemar Borgen (22, G , AUD)
14. Elden Janssen (21, M/F C, AUD)
15. Daan Bergesen (23, DM C, AUD)
16. Kalevi Jokinen (19, D C, AUD)
17. Christian Cafasso (31, M RC, AUD)
18. Alan Siman (22, M LC, AUD)
20. Errapel Balenziaga (26, D/M R, AUD)
21. Antero Koskinen (19, D RC, AUD)
Mng. Ivan Zukertort (76, M L, AUD)

Expected First XI
Haataja - J. Jokinen, Soren, K. Jokinen, Laakso - Ibsen - Raphaelsson, Seda-Thompson, Kivela - Gustavsen, Idaberry

“The National League!” says Mixu, excitedly. “I’ve waited so long. With all that’s happening at work I thought I might miss the first home game, but here we are. We host KT Moreazerua” he said - a rare occasion for Mozi’s full name to be used in general conversation. He’s asked how well he thinks his team will do against Mozi. He smiles and shakes his head.

KT Moreazerua Mozi
Ibarretako Estadioa, (Cap: 40000). Moreazerua, Herradura

Domestic Honours - 2
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Maren Artetxebarria (27, G , AUD) (c)
2. Adélaïde Garcia (26, D C, SVG)
3. Asztrik Puskás (34, D L, AUD)
4. Ronan Stenhouse (26, DM C, EUR)
5. Marwyn Asterisk (28, D C, AUD)
6. Bartolomej Wladmirowić (32, D LC, ZRH)
7. Mbdiai Akarenaa (34, M RCL, TUR)
8. Koldo Bazterrika (23, M LC, AUD)
9. Koenraad Rijsbergen (26, F C, AUD)
10. Olentzaro Karazatorre (26, F C, ASG)
11. Morea Zozetua (33, M L, MRN)
13. Deitr Konovaal (34, M C, MRN)
14. Gael Texeira (23, M C, AUD)
15. Oran Coldcross (20, D C, AUD)
17. Zafarullah Hamdani (28, M CR, AUD)
18. Imauka Lkomorak (19, M CR, VIL)
19. Trevor Paraoan (24, AM/F C, FHU)
43. Zebjan Istanjovich (44, G , SIC)
Mng. Imanol Andueza (47, F C, AUD)

Expected First XI
Artetxebarria - Garcia, Asterisk, Wladmirowic - Lkomarak, Akarenaa, Stenhouse, Bazterrika, Zozetua - Karazatorre, Rijsbergen

“They’ve got Koenraad Rijsbergen up front with Karza.. Karazator… the Astograthian guy that scares me. I hope we hold out. The whole crew hopes we hold out”
Mixu is asked whether he would swap a home win today with going to space on the mission that StarFox, a regional-owned rebranding of ExiTer, were rumoured to be running.
“Hmm” replies Mixu. “No”

Matchday 2
The National League
AS Marcadia 1–2 Oljestaden IF
Cazadores Cathair 2–1 AC Izotz Zubia
Shamrock Cathair 2–2 Sparta Zijweg
CdF Celtade 1–5 Bombarralense
Laivanrakentajan JPS 1–3 KT Moreazerua

Having lost the league on the final day of the previous season, Cathair boss Jerome Jaffacake-Phillips has rung some changes in his squad, bringing in young Chromatik starlets Baillaire and Grayson Fillar and adding diminutive Savigliano striker Thea Squarciafichi up front, young Audioslavian hopeful Antoine Letexier given the number eleven shirt on the wing. Thorsten Kramer remains the club captain but, following the various Foxchester incidents, his future at the club may be uncertain.

1830 Cathair The Teatimers / The Elders
Arena Kirola, (Cap: 77500). Cathair, Central

Domestic Honours - 14
COCANEFA Honours - 7
International Honours - 7
Squad
1. Goran Stroud (26, G , AUD)
2. Ysaak (27, D CR, DAI)
3. Minne van Schelven (27, D C, KOR)
5. Jack Menard (22, D C, EUR)
6. Brannigan Burley (22, M C, AUD)
7. Thea Squarciafichi (23, F C, SVG)
8. Erik Moselle (23, F C, STL)
9. Xaime Medal (25, AM L, TEQ)
10. Thorsten Kramer (29, M/AM C, STL) (c)
11. Antoine Letexier (18, AM RCL, AUD)
12. Leona Rafford (34, DM/D CR, NPH)
13. Tucunduvá (38, G , DAI)
14. Aymeric Fortin (28, F C, VLD)
15. Tryfon Vlahilades (28, D L, VDR)
16. Ross Okano (27, D C, KRY)
17. Baillaire Fillar (18, AM C, CMT)
18. Grayson Fillar (19, D R, CMT)
20. Emmanuel Awuah (37, D C, SEM)
21. Anselm Koerner (25, M R, NPH)
23. Devlin Napier (28, D/M LC, KRY)
25. Davide Laguardia (18, F C, AUD)
Mng. Jerome Jaffacake-Phillips (??, KRY)

Expected First XI
Stroud - Grayson, Vlahilades, Menard, van Schelven - Medal, Burley, Kramer, Koerner - Fortin, Squarciafichi

Laivana’s astronaut-program hopeful Mixu Virtanen was able to make it to Cathair for the match between the two sides. When asked about his side’s chances, he merely chuckles.
“I’m here to see the stadium. I don’t expect… y’know…”
There is still, however, a glint in his eye.

Matchday 3
The National League
1830 Cathair 0–1 Laivanrakentajan JPS
Sparta Zijweg 2–1 CdF Celtade
AC Izotz Zubia 1–4 Shamrock Cathair
Oljestaden IF 2–3 Cazadores Cathair
Guerrilla Cathair 0–1 AS Marcadia

…KIVELA! Goal! Where did that come from? Where did that come from? The Laivana number ten, finding space, curls a beautiful shot around the defence for an unexpected lead..
…lead going into the break, Cathair are knocking on the door here…
…really need an early goal here but Laivana are defending resolutely….
…mistake pounced upon here, and it’s Fortin.. Squarciafichi! Saved! Haataja with the stop to preserve Laivana’s lead…
…Laivana still pressed back into their area, it’s Thorsten Kramer in enterprising mood… to Squarciafichi.. back to KRAMER! Wide! Wide from the Teus, and Laivana…
….and Laivana cling on! A famous victory for the newcomers, a dreadful start to the season for Eighteen Thirty…

RJ Styrn has been heading every ball on the touch line, but there’s really nothing she can do at this point. Guerrilla Cathair, playing their first derby of the season, are having something of a baptism of fire here, with Cristian Benitez and Adrian Toscani practically unplayable tonight. 3-0 down with ten minutes left, Caza look to make a substitution. Styrn has a double-take at who’s coming on.

Cazadores Cathair Caza
El Ruedo, (Cap: 42500). Cathair, Central

Domestic Honours - 3
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Juxon Fillar (24, G , CMT)
2. Guifré Menez (27, D/M R, AUD)
3. Per Frandsen (22, D RL, AUD)
4. Iago Cacho (28, DM C, AUD)
5. Hilmar Farmansson (33, D C, GRF)
6. Inteali Koranjo (22, D C, VIL)
7. Creidne Lindauer (31, F C, BRE) (c)
8. Adrian Toscani (24, AM C, SVG)
10. Cristian Benitez (22, F C, VLD)
11. Giorgio Gucci (27, D/M L, MRC)
12. Aloha (27, F C, DAI)
13. Cristos Harding (21, D C, EFL)
14. Rasmus Caracole (27, M L, NPH)
16. Christian Armani (26, M R, MRC)
17. Wilhelm Hielscher-Zendagorta (18, AM/F C, AUD/STL)
18. Azaim (24, M C, SHT)
20. Kepler Marcel Gouveia de Souza (17, AM C, QUE)
22. Tutayan (32, AM R, TEQ)
23. Theold Bracewell (32, G , NPH)
28. Claudio Casimiro (23, D C, AUD)
31. Zorion Santisteban (20, M LC, AUD)
32. Tiago Brown (19, D/M R, AUD)
Mng. Rook Cathar (52, F LCR, NPH)

Expected First XI
Juxon - Koranjo, Farmansson, Frandsen - Brown, Cacho, Azaim, Caracole - Toscani, Tutayan - Benitez

Benitez is clapped from the field and Wilhelm Hielscher-Zendagorta, a player with dual Audioslavian and S+T nationality, enters the field. Most were expecting long time servant Creidne Lindauer to take the strikers place, but instead it’s WH-Z who collects a probing ball and, with an alarming turn of pace, sprints past Liana Lemuur and hits a snap shot from the corner of the area that leaves Lu Qiang standing in the Guerrilla goal. Four nothing. Cazadores have started the season in fine fettle. For Guerrilla, it’s a harsh lesson in exactly how competitive this league can be.

Matchday 4
The National League
Cazadores Cathair 4–0 Guerrilla Cathair
Shamrock Cathair 1–1 Oljestaden IF
CdF Celtade 0–4 AC Izotz Zubia
Laivanrakentajan JPS 1–1 Osarese Marcadia
KT Moreazerua 2–0 1830 Cathair

CdF Celtade Os Celts
Estadio Costa Branca, (Cap: 17500). Celta, Iberra

Domestic Honours - 0
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Marnid Volland (29, G , NPH)
2. George Jenkins (21, M C, MUR)
3. Gijsbert Van Buitenen (25, D LC, AUD)
4. Donovan Santiesteban (29, DM C, AUD)
5. Afonso Criado (29, D C, AUD)
7. Facundo Rosa (23, M/F CR, AUD)
8. Elsebeth Celustka (28, AM C, NPH)
10. Kausu Dione (26, F C, BNJ) (c)
11. Guillem Serra (27, AM LCR, AUD)
12. Olegário Branco (23, D LC, AUD)
13. Coridai (26, F C, DAI)
14. Josep Ros (26, F C, AUD)
15. Vicente Mazariegos (31, M C, AUD)
16. Xander Washington (19, M C, XAN)
17. Élie Dembélé (27, M/F L, CMT)
18. Daniel Kerlov (32, M/F LC, SAJ)
19. Vernon Montesinos (33, D C, AUD)
20. Rodolf Sendra (22, M C, AUD)
21. Robert Clayton (30, F C, FVA)
Mng. Jean-Pablo Costacurta-Groove (43, M R, HIN)

Expected First XI
Volland - Van Buitenen, Criado, Branco - Serra, Jenkins, Washington, Celustka, Dembélé, Kerlov - Dione

Nobody is quite sure how CdF Celtade survived last season, following the departures of a glut of key players. One more has followed, with Baillaire leaving to join 1830 Cathair, and Celtade have perhaps not spent so wisely, with question marks over the true abilities of the likes of Xander Washington, Elsebeth Celustka and Daniel Kerlov. Nevertheless…

Matchday 6
The National League
Shamrock Cathair 3–1 AS Marcadia
CdF Celtade 4–1 Guerrilla Cathair
Laivanrakentajan JPS 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
KT Moreazerua 0–1 Union Cathair
1830 Cathair 0–0 Osarese Marcadia

The side manage to make it stick against struggling Guerrilla, for whom Alex Sharp scores the opening goal of the game but can do nothing to halt Celta’s march.Celustka squeezes in the first and Xander Washington finds the second through a well-placed shot through a throng of defenders. Kausu Dione, now the side’s only real threat up front, pops up with two second half goals to cap off a resounding victory.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair           5    5   0   0    16    4  +12    15
 2 Shamrock Cathair            6    3   3   0    14    7   +7    12
 3 KT Moreazerua               4    3   0   1     8    2   +6     9
 4 CdF Celtade                 6    2   1   3     9   14   −5     7
 5 Union Cathair               2    2   0   0     2    0   +2     6
 6 KT Itzalovalle              2    1   1   0     1    0   +1     4
 7 AC Izotz Zubia              4    1   1   2     8    8    0     4
 8 Sparta Zijweg               3    1   1   1     5    6   −1     4
 9 Oljestaden IF               5    1   1   3     8   10   −2     4
10 Laivanrakentajan JPS        5    1   1   3     3    6   −3     4
11 AS Marcadia                 5    1   1   3     5   11   −6     4
12 Guerrilla Cathair           5    1   1   3     5   12   −7     4
13 Bombarralense               2    1   0   1     5    3   +2     3
14 Osarese Marcadia            3    0   2   1     1    4   −3     2
15 1830 Cathair                3    0   1   2     0    3   −3     1

[/box]

Elsewhere, 1830 Cathair have had better starts to the season. This is, however, the National League table after only five matchdays - probably the stupidest table you’ve ever seen outside of a memphis-group catalogue.

It’s a top-of-the-stupid-early-able clash on matchday seven with the Tale of Two Cathairs derby between Shamrock and Cazadores. Both sides are unbeaten, but while Shamrock have laboured to three wins and three draws, Caza have blasted each of their five opponents out of the water, and it’s the red half (third? fifth?) of Cathair who enter the match as favourites.

Shamrock Cathair Shammers
Glass Bridge Stadium, (Cap: 31500). Cathair, Central

Domestic Honours - 4
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 1
Squad
1. Bombidillyo (33, G , DAI)
2. Daniel MacCowan (24, D CR, AUD)
3. Aron McKenna (25, D L, TJU)
5. Ffibwd yTewgneoll (22, D C, KOR)
6. Finn Townsend (29, DM C, BRE) (c)
7. Sho Itō (21, M/F R, SQR)
8. Corby Wheeler (30, M C, BRE)
10. Colm O'Tuathail (28, M L, KSK)
11. Rosewing (30, F C, EQS)
12. Viðar Adriansson (30, D C, GRF)
17. Kieran Docherty (31, D R, BRE)
18. Declan MacCowan (24, M C, AUD)
19. Fergus Sloan (27, M L, GRU)
20. Carmelo MacCowan (20, D/M LCR, AUD)
22. Thomas McFarland (23, G , AUD)
23. Archer Andrews (23, F C, TJU)
31. Alexander McPahan (20, M CR, AUD)
Mng. Alexander Crewe (36, F C, APX)

Expected First XI
McFarland - Carmelo MacCowan, Dan MacCowan, yTewgneoll, McKenna - Townsend - Itō, Dec MacCowan, Wheeler, OTuathail - Andrews

Matchday 7
The National League
Union Cathair 2–2 1830 Cathair
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Bombarralense 1–2 Laivanrakentajan JPS
AS Marcadia 3–1 CdF Celtade
Cazadores Cathair 3–1 Shamrock Cathair

The former CdF Celtade quartet of Finn Townsend and the MacCowan brothers have all been present and correct for each of Shamrock’s opening games, and they preside over a goal-less first half before Cazadores prove too strong for them. WH-Z is at it again, the Siovanijan/Audioslavian forward creating the opening goal for Criedne Lindauer and adding a second himself. Rosewing hooves home a reply, but Toscani puts the game beyond doubt to extend Caza’s lead at the top of the table.

Elsewhere, there’s another Cathair derby going on, with Union grabbing a cathartic draw at home to an increasingly bewildered looking Cathair.

Sparta Zijweg Spartans
Sparta-stadion, (Cap: 12450). Zijweg, Central

Domestic Honours - 0
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Collin De Wilde (25, G , AUD)
2. Marquis Kroos (26, D CR, AUD)
3. Johan Martensen (22, D L, AUD)
4. Viggo Westerlund (22, M C, AUD)
5. Peter Sneijder (27, D C, AUD) (c)
6. Edwin Van den Berg (22, M C, AUD)
7. Alessandro Greig (22, M CR, AUD)
8. Art Burchardt (24, AM C, AUD)
9. Eneco Carabello (21, F C, AUD)
10. Piet Kessler (24, M R, AUD)
11. Jarell Tillmann (27, F C, AUD)
13. Lyndis (35, M/AM C, DAI)
14. Tonnis Boom (24, M LCR, AUD)
17. Thijmen Lauwers (26, M L, AUD)
19. Niek Beeckman (21, M LC, AUD)
20. Clark Partridge (24, F C, AUD)
23. Winfridh (39, G , DAI)
24. Nel de Haan (24, D R, AUD)
Mng. Henrik Easfielder (49, AUD)

Expected First XI
De Wilde - de Haan, Kroos, Sneijder, Mortensen - Kessler, Boom, Burchardt - Carabello, Våge, Tillmann

Also playing their first season in the top flight are Sparta Zijweg, replacing cross-town rivals Excelsior in the top tier and featuring a rag-tag bunch of remember hims? from prior National League season. Vanorian striker Dennis Våge was signed from relegated Calcio Sicurezza Elfi but played a pre-season friendly before being whisked away from the club by the Forced Relocation of Workers. It’s unknown exactly how Våge felt about that, having spent the majority of his playing career in Audioslavia, and on the matter of whether or not the team were compensated for the loss of their player, the team are keeping quiet.

Matchday 8
The National League
CdF Celtade 1–2 Cazadores Cathair
Laivanrakentajan JPS 1–2 Sparta Zijweg
KT Moreazerua 3–1 Bombarralense
1830 Cathair 3–2 KT Itzalovalle
Osarese Marcadia 3–2 Union Cathair

Experienced Daineri favourite Lyndis wins the game for Sparta with an eightieth minute strike as Laivana succumb to defeat on a day that 1830 Cathair finally grab their first win of the season, victorious over Itzalovalle by three goals to two.[

Matchday 9
The National League
KT Itzalovalle 0–2 Osarese Marcadia
Bombarralense 2–2 1830 Cathair
Sparta Zijweg 0–2 KT Moreazerua
AC Izotz Zubia 3–0 Laivanrakentajan JPS
Shamrock Cathair 4–2 CdF Celtade

Matchday 10
The National League
Laivanrakentajan JPS 1–2 Oljestaden IF
KT Moreazerua 1–1 AC Izotz Zubia
1830 Cathair 2–2 Sparta Zijweg
Osarese Marcadia 1–1 Bombarralense
Union Cathair 0–0 KT Itzalovalle

Sparta bounce back from defeat to Mozi to inflict further frustration on a mis-firing Elders team in Cathair, with former Zozi striker Eneco Carabello dragging the side to a share of the points via two half chances. Carabello, never really given a chance at Izotz Zubia, is intent on staking his claim to a place in the national team squad this season, and four goals so far is doing his cause no harm.

For 1830 Cathair, the pressure on manager Jerome Jaffacake-Phillips is mounting. The side have just seven points to their name, and with a showdown with rivals AC Izotz Zubia coming up.

Matchday 11
The National League
Bombarralense 1–0 Union Cathair
Sparta Zijweg 0–0 Osarese Marcadia
AC Izotz Zubia 2–2 1830 Cathair
Oljestaden IF 3–2 KT Moreazerua
Guerrilla Cathair 0–0 Laivanrakentajan JPS

In Sunday afternoon’s encounter, Guerrilla and Laivana battle to a nil-all draw that does no side any favours, with a typically swashbuckling Laivana side surprisingly reserved in one of the few games where the side might be able to pick up points. RJ Styrn claps her team from the field, but it’s a similar case of two-points-dropped for a Guerrilla side readying for a long relegation battle.

Over in the eastern mountains, the two most successful sides in Audioslavian domestic history, Zozi and Cathair, go head to head, and while the salmon and silver of Izotz Zubia are favourites, thanks to their opponents’ shocking form, Thorsten Kramer painstakingly drags his team to a draw, setting up Squarciafichi for a far-post header and burying a 20 yard grass-cutter into the bottom corner either side of two goals for Zozi - Lothaire Cromwell’s near-post finish and Thomas Butler’s sumptuous curling strike from the edge of the area.

It doesn’t get better for Cathair in midweek either.

Matchday 12
The National League
Laivanrakentajan JPS 3–2 AS Marcadia
KT Moreazerua 5–1 Guerrilla Cathair
1830 Cathair 0–0 Oljestaden IF
Osarese Marcadia 0–3 AC Izotz Zubia
Union Cathair 0–3 Sparta Zijweg
KT Itzalovalle 2–0 Bombarralense

Cathair have been booed off before, but never so vehemently as after this goalless draw with an uninspiring Oljestaden side who don’t even sit back and absorb the pressure. Kramer sees two golden opportunities go begging, Antoine Letexier is wasteful on the wing and striker Aymeric Fortin, looking out of sorts in recent weeks, is replaced an enegetic Squarciafichi far too late in the game for the Savigliano to be able to do anything concreate. Jaffacake-Phillips claps the fans whether they like it or not, showing composure under the pressure, but in reality his job is on the line unless his Cathair side start winning very, very soon.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Moreazerua              10    7   1   2    22    8  +14    22
 2 Cazadores Cathair           7    7   0   0    21    6  +15    21
 3 Shamrock Cathair            8    4   3   1    19   12   +7    15
 4 AC Izotz Zubia              8    3   3   2    17   11   +6    12
 5 Sparta Zijweg               8    3   3   2    12   11   +1    12
 6 Oljestaden IF               8    3   2   3    13   13    0    11
 7 Laivanrakentajan JPS       11    3   2   6    10   16   −6    11
 8 Osarese Marcadia            8    2   4   2     7   10   −3    10
 9 1830 Cathair                9    1   6   2    11   13   −2     9
10 KT Itzalovalle              7    2   2   3     5    6   −1     8
11 Bombarralense               8    2   2   4    11   13   −2     8
12 Union Cathair               7    2   2   3     6    9   −3     8
13 AS Marcadia                 7    2   1   4    10   15   −5     7
14 CdF Celtade                 9    2   1   6    13   23  −10     7
15 Guerrilla Cathair           7    1   2   4     6   17  −11     5

Just over a quarter of the way through the season, the table is beginning to take shape in more or less the way you’d expect, accounting for the differences in the amount of matches played and taking into consideration 1830 Cathair’s shocking form. The side have only lost twice in nine games, similar to Zozi in fourth, but six draws and only one solitary win is a depressing turn-around for the most decorated side in Audioslavian history.

At the top, Mozi take first place by a hair, but Caza in second are unbeaten and have truly turned the corner after a couple of difficult seasons. Manager Rook Cathar, a man often described as a yeti-sized yeti, has presided over seven wins from seven games and, if they keep winning, may have a ten point lead in the table by the half-way stage.

by **Audioslavia** » Wed Jun 23, 2021 5:34 pm

AS Marcadia I Marchetti
Stadio di Via Montegrappa, (Cap: 23500). Marcadia, Padia

Domestic Honours - 1
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Fortune Cammers (23, G , EFL)
2. Giacomo Durán (18, D R, AUD)
3. Amarzi George (27, D L, MRC)
4. Lance Bensom (26, D C, BRE)
5. Antonio Dragutin (27, D C, MRC)
6. Matteo Ercolani (22, D/M LC, AUD)
7. Simos Arvanitakis (23, AM RL, FHU)
8. Gabriel Buvalelli (20, M C, SVG)
9. Menderchuk (34, F C, DAI)
10. Aranha (33, F C, DAI)
11. Javier Besoitagoena (30, M C, AUD)
12. Commodore Pumphrey (18, G , AUD)
13. Ion Berriex (27, M/F R, AUD)
15. Casarno Anonno (28, AM C, AUD)
17. Giacomo Rossi (18, F C, AUD)
18. Mattia Cicale (28, M C, AUD)
21. Edoardo Del Conte (26, M C, AUD)
25. Alessandro Juliana (38, M CR, AUD)

Expected First XI
Cammers - Durán, George, Bensom, Dragutin - Arvanitakis, Juliana, Buvalelli, Berriex - Aranha, Menderchuk

Gabriel Buvalelli is the jewel in AS Marcadia’s crown, with I Marchetti very much relying on their playmaking Savigliano international for their creative spark. 38 year-old player-manager Alessandro Juliana is a deep-lying playmaker these days, and offers aerial support from behind. Marcadia rely on experienced Daineri strikers Menderchuk and Aranha to convert the chances created for them, but…

Matchday 13

The National League
Sparta Zijweg 1–1 KT Itzalovalle
AC Izotz Zubia 4–2 Union Cathair
Oljestaden IF 2–0 Osarese Marcadia
Guerrilla Cathair 2–5 1830 Cathair
AS Marcadia 0–0 KT Moreazerua
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 Laivanrakentajan JPS

…as much as the pair are well loved throughout Marcadia - and, indeed, Audioslavian football - if there’s one thing Marcadia really need it’s a striker under the age of 30 who still has the sharpness to convert chances. KT Moreazerua, a little out of sorts, give them plenty of opportunities, but Marcadia can’t quite convert

In Cathair, one of roughly four hundred thousand Cathair Derbies this season results in the former favourites 1830 bouncing back from a goal down to win five two, with on-loan striker Alex Sharp netting the opener for the home side before the dam bursts. Ikpeazu’s late strike makes the result a touch less embarrassing for newly promoted Guerrilla. Coach RJ Styrn, formerly of 1830 Cathair in her playing days, says after the game that there was little she could do. Guerrilla played to their potential. Their problem was that 1830 Cathair, lead by the buccaneering Kramer and the clinical Squarciafichi, also played to theirs.

Union Cathair The Misfits
Shepworth Racecourse Ground, (Cap: 7500). Cathair, Central

Domestic Honours - 1
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Paxton Keenan (33, G , AUD)
2. Hereld Jansen (26, D R, AUD)
3. Caiden Guthrie (31, D L, AUD)
4. Pascual Castel (32, DM C, AUD)
5. Anders Jonassen (29, D C, AUD)
6. Anargyos Zervaes (21, D C, VDR)
7. Khabib IIyev (30, M R, USR)
8. Ronan Fallon (31, DM C, BRE)
9. Luca Senna (28, F C, AUD)
10. Hjalmar Boisen (24, M/F C, AUD)
11. Baker MacGeouch (36, M LC, AUD)
12. Labinot Ruscoe (26, F C, NPH)
13. Hardcheese (37, G , DAI)
14. Callum MacKaye (28, AM C, AUD)
15. Errapel Zalacain (24, D/M C, AUD)
16. Julio MacEwan (26, D C, AUD)
17. Luke Rose (23, M/F R, AUD)
18. Raiden McLean (24, M LC, AUD)
19. Saint Legalese (23, D/M LC, AUD)
21. Joan Soler (25, M CR, AUD)
Mng. Bastijn Fokke-Rommedahl (68, D R, AUD)

Expected First XI
Keenan - Jansen, Jonassen, Zervaes, Guthrie - Fallon - Ilyev, Zalacain, Boisen - Senna, Ruscoe

Union were the bolshier of Cathair’s top-flight teams until Guerrilla came along with their rules about everyone being paid the same and feminist agenda. The side got off to a good start in their first season of National League football and have made some useful additions, such as completing the gutting of talented Audioslavian players from CdF Celtade through the signing of Luca Senna. The side, like many in Cathair, are based around a Brenecian lynchpin, this time in the form of Ronan Fallon, while Sannyamathland winger Khabib Ilyev is something of a wildcard going down the right.

Matchday 14
Laivanrakentajan JPS 0–2 Shamrock Cathair
KT Moreazerua 0–1 Cazadores Cathair
1830 Cathair 1–0 AS Marcadia
Osarese Marcadia 1–0 Guerrilla Cathair
Union Cathair 1–0 Oljestaden IF
KT Itzalovalle 2–2 AC Izotz Zubia
Bombarralense 0–2 Sparta Zijweg

Oljestaden are having an Oljestaden season, in that they’re in the middle of the table taking the points the other teams don’t seem to want. There are no scraps at the table against Union, however, as Luca Senna nods in a first half goal that proves enough for the win.

Elsewhere, Cathair win again to ease the pressure on manager Jerome Jaffacake-Phillips, while Caza win a top-of-the-table clash over KT Moreazerua, with Rasmus Caracole providing a cross for Cristian Benitez to convert from close range.

Over in Laivana, Mixu Virtanen is absent from the stands for Shamrock’s pilfering of all three points, having been officially selected for Project Icarus, the ridiculously named mission to put an Audioslavian into space without actually putting an Audioslavian into space. It’s complicated. Virtanen’s free time is therefore at something of a minimum.

He won’t be around next week either for Derby Day, a matchday including Laivana’s crucial relegation scrap with Celtade, two Cathair derbies and the Marcadia derby.

Matchday 15
The National League
AC Izotz Zubia 2–0 Bombarralense
Oljestaden IF 1–3 KT Itzalovalle
Guerrilla Cathair 1–0 Union Cathair
AS Marcadia 3–1 Osarese Marcadia
Cazadores Cathair 1–3 1830 Cathair
Shamrock Cathair 2–1 KT Moreazerua
CdF Celtade 0–2 Laivanrakentajan JPS

RJ Styrn spends the majority of the second half trying not to actually pull her hair out as Guerrilla Cathair labour to a hard-earned win in the Other Other Other Other Other Cathair Derby, with Banijan winger Sarafina Ikpeazu in incredible form, providing the opening goal for Dorotea Baro and making a nuisance of herself up and down the right wing for the entire game.

Later that day, Cazadores host 1830 Cathair full of confidence but… it’s Caza. The side have a huge inferiority complex when it comes to their biggest rivals and that, coupled with the Teatimers’s refound form does for them at El Ruedo, with Kramer imperious in midfield and Xaime Medal finding form again, the latter providing crosses for Fortin and Moselle to score and the former burying a twenty-five yarder into the bottom corner to seal the game. It’s a match that sees three of Chromatika’s much heralded Fillar siblings make appearances, though unfortunately for the Chromtik audience they’re not on the field at the same time - Grayson is replaced on fifty-five minutes by veteran Nepharim Leona Rafford at right back and Baillaire makes only a cameo appearance late on. There is one moment of interaction though, as Caza goalkeeper Juxon Fillar rises to pluck a cross from the air and lands pretty much on Baillaire’s shoulders. Juxon rolls the ball out of play to help his sister to his feet, which draws applause from the travelling fans behind the goal but the occasional jeer from a Caza crowd more concerned with trying to claw their way back into the game than acts of sportsmanship.

Over in Marcadia, Osarese boss Fabio Mancini is, of course, the better dressed between himself and Alessandro Juliana, but it’s Juliana, with his kit underneath his tracksuit, that has the last laugh, substituting himself onto the field on 85 minutes, with his side already leading, and curling a gorgeous free-kick past Teruzuki for 3-1.

KT Itzalovalle Itzi
The Antzerkia, (Cap: 48000). Ferramendiak, Herradura

Domestic Honours - 1
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Echepare Rospide (24, G , ASG)
2. Jerónimo Marzan (26, D/M RCL, AUD)
3. Katua Byrne (18, M L, BRE)
4. Moses Moxey (25, M C, AUD)
5. Alejandro Consuegra (25, D C, AUD)
6. Garai Echevarrieta (26, D C, AUD)
7. Arial Skidoomacher (29, DM C, AUD)
8. Wilhelm Nkitilina (25, F C, TAE)
9. Gabirel Zozaia (27, F C, AUD)
10. Dreigiau Parrish (25, AM C, BRE)
11. Gabirel Oteiza (29, M RL, AUD)
12. Liza Price (27, D R, BRE)
13. Zakuty (26, F C, DAI)
14. Jiskastnya (26, F C, DAI)
15. Floriano Côtescassées (19, D/M L, AUD)
18. Eneko Burionagonatotorecagageazcoechea (22, M CR, AUD)
20. Reynard Salama (21, D C, EFL)
21. Theo Cosumar (28, D RL, AUD)
22. Vianca (28, G , DAI)
Mng. Robert Smith (53, D C, AUD)

Expected First XI
Rospide - Price, Consuegra, Echevarrieta, Côtescassées - Byrne, Skidoomacher, Moxey, Oteiza, Parrish - Zozaia

Itzi are the only one of the ‘Big Six’ to have never won the league, and with a lacklustre start to this season it’s unlikely they’ll be breaking that record any time soon. The team are a talented one, especially having kept hold of Moses Moxey in midfield. Moxey has been a regular for the Audioslavian national team since he was a teenager and is tipped by many to be the first player in decades to grab over a hundred caps for the Bulls.

Ahead of him in midfield is, you guessed it, a Brenecian midfield lynchpin, this one being Dreigiau Parrish, and between them they boast one of the strongest engine rooms in the league.

Matchday 16
The National League
KT Moreazerua 5–1 CdF Celtade
1830 Cathair 2–2 Shamrock Cathair
Osarese Marcadia 1–3 Cazadores Cathair
Union Cathair 1–0 AS Marcadia
KT Itzalovalle 2–0 Guerrilla Cathair
Bombarralense 1–1 Oljestaden IF
Sparta Zijweg 0–2 AC Izotz Zubia

Itzalovalle are just too strong for Guerrilla Cathair, who continue to simply lack the size and strength to properly compete at this level. Elsewhere in Cathair, Union defeat Marcadia via Luca Senna once more, but all eyes are on the Arena Kirola as 1830 Cathair hold rivals Shamrock to a two-all draw. Whereas the previous week saw Cathair imperious against Caza, it’s Shamrock who look the more dangerous here, with OTuathail and Itō causing havoc down the flanks and Finn Townsend winning a fierce midfield battle with Thorsten Kramer. It’s Archer Andrews, though, who steals the limelight. Andrews, out of favour at Shamrock for his entire time there, has been thrust into the limelight after Thor Møller’s forced relocation and with Rosewing dipping in and out of form. Suddenly first choice after having been fourth choice for so long, Andrews took some time to bed into the first team, but a brace against 1830 confirms him as a player more than capable of mixing it at this level, especially with the service received from Shamrock’s wingers.

AC Izotz Zubia Zozi
Soldaduak Eremuaberria, (Cap: 52180). Izotzazubia , Herradura

Domestic Honours - 13
COCANEFA Honours - 4
International Honours - 5
Squad
1. Gentle Breeze (34, G , EQS)
2. Leonardo Ceron (27, D C, AUD)
3. Larry Martinez (26, D L, NWK)
4. Tigran Deschapelles (27, M C, AUD)
5. Grigorij Savicevic (23, D C, MYT)
6. Michael Christie (26, D C, SCT)
7. Wilfried Baume (31, F C, VLD)
8. Lothaire Cromwell (25, M C, NPH)
9. Thomas Butler (20, M R, NWK)
10. Fergus Coren (21, F C, AUD)
11. Fortune Russell (26, M L, BRE)
13. Branadru (36, G , DAI)
14. Eurico Da Rosa (23, AM/F C, AUD)
16. Ixaka Echeberz (30, D R, ASG)
17. Domiku Bergara (29, DM C, ASG)
18. Jerquaad (27, D CR, DAI)
19. Eskuin Nekol (23, M L, ASG)
21. Atole Kaplan (20, D L, KOR)
Mng. Ager Alaba (48, M C, ASG)

Expected First XI
Breeze - Kaplan, Ceron, Savicevic, Echeberz - Russell, Bergara, Cromwell, Butler - Baume, Eurico

The second most successful side in Audioslavian history behind capital club 1830 Cathair, Zozi have yet to finish below fourth in the National League era, qualifying for the Champions Cup / Champions League in every season bar two. Ager Alaba has put his mark on the team since taking over, introducing an Astograthian trio of Eskuin Nekol, Domiku Bergara and Ixaka Echeberz initially as backups, but now as vital parts of the machine. Nekol, behind Fortune Russell in the pecking order but used liberally in matches of secondary importance, has turned his fortunes around since a public failure at Sporting Iturributa, and the three Astograthians have become indispensable to their national team.

Matchday 18
The National League
Osarese Marcadia 0–2 CdF Celtade
Union Cathair 0–4 Shamrock Cathair
KT Itzalovalle 2–2 Cazadores Cathair
Bombarralense 3–0 AS Marcadia
Sparta Zijweg 1–0 Guerrilla Cathair
AC Izotz Zubia 4–2 Oljestaden IF

Oljestaden don’t make life easy for Zozi at the Soldaduak Eremuaberria, but between Fergus Coren making the most of his newfound place in the first team following Julia Muller’s sacking, Lothaire Cromwell running the midfield and Grigorij Savicevic’s imposing defensive presence, Zozi are victorious.

Matchday 19
The National League
Guerrilla Cathair 0–2 AC Izotz Zubia
AS Marcadia 2–2 Sparta Zijweg
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 Bombarralense
Shamrock Cathair 1–0 KT Itzalovalle
CdF Celtade 3–3 Union Cathair

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair          14   11   1   2    30   13  +17    34
 2 Shamrock Cathair           14    9   4   1    34   17  +17    31
 3 AC Izotz Zubia             14    8   4   2    33   17  +16    28
 4 KT Moreazerua              14    8   2   4    28   12  +16    26
 5 Sparta Zijweg              14    6   5   3    19   16   +3    23
 6 1830 Cathair               14    5   7   2    24   18   +6    22
 7 Union Cathair              14    5   3   6    14   21   −7    18
 8 KT Itzalovalle             14    4   5   5    15   15    0    17
 9 Bombarralense              14    4   3   7    21   19   +2    15
10 Oljestaden IF              14    4   3   7    19   23   −4    15
11 AS Marcadia                14    4   3   7    17   23   −6    15
12 Laivanrakentajan JPS       14    4   2   8    12   19   −7    14
13 Osarese Marcadia           14    3   4   7    12   24  −12    13
14 CdF Celtade                14    3   2   9    19   35  −16    11
15 Guerrilla Cathair          14    2   2  10     9   34  −25     8

Goals from Nekol and Butler are enough to take all three points away to Guerrilla Cathair as Zozi just about keep pace with the red and green sides of Cathair, while at the bottom Guerrilla are a little adrift but not completely a lost cause yet.

1830 Cathair have finally found form, but with a twelve point gap to make up to first and only fourteen games remaining, it’s hard to see how Audioslavia’s most famous club can drag their way towards a title fight. Just getting into one of the five Champions League spaces will be the order of the day.

Elsewhere, Laivana are making a decent fist of things in their first season in the top flight, but not as much as Sparta Zijweg who, with only three losses from fourteen, sit a point above Cathair in fifth place and will be fighting it out for the Challengers’ Cup places for the remainder of the season.

by **Audioslavia** » Thu Jun 24, 2021 3:48 am

Matchday 22
The National League
Laivanrakentajan JPS 0–1 1830 Cathair
CdF Celtade 1–1 Sparta Zijweg
Shamrock Cathair 2–2 AC Izotz Zubia
Cazadores Cathair 1–3 Oljestaden IF
AS Marcadia 2–3 Guerrilla Cathair

Shamrock versus Zozi comes just four days after Izotz Zubia’s draw with Caza, and a slightly altered line-up have the better of the match. Fortune Russell and Fergus Coren combine for two Izotz Zubia goals, but they come either side of a Fergus Sloan volley and Archer Andrews rescues a point for the home side.

Shamrock see it as two points dropped despite being the second best side, but they lead the table regardless thanks to Oljestaden’s shock upset of leaders Cazadores. Torvald Ebben, Kasperi Otaleinen and Christiaan Kracht are on the scoresheet for the visitors as they blast through a shell-shocked Caza defence in a period of just twelve first-half minutes, and the fightback never really materializes.

Elsewhere, Julius Garza pops up with the game-winning goal to snatch victory from Marcadia for Guerrilla Cathair and drag themselves towards free-falling Celtade and struggling Osarese. As Ronda Styrn announces to the live camera following her down the tunnel, it’s not fuckin’ over yet

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Shamrock Cathair           17   11   5   1    42   21  +21    38
 2 Cazadores Cathair          17   12   2   3    34   18  +16    38
 3 AC Izotz Zubia             17    8   7   2    37   21  +16    31
 4 KT Moreazerua              15    8   2   5    28   13  +15    26
 5 1830 Cathair               15    6   7   2    25   18   +7    25
 6 Sparta Zijweg              17    6   6   5    23   22   +1    24
 7 KT Itzalovalle             15    5   5   5    19   15   +4    20
 8 Oljestaden IF              17    5   5   7    24   26   −2    20
 9 Union Cathair              14    5   3   6    14   21   −7    18
10 Laivanrakentajan JPS       16    5   2   9    13   20   −7    17
11 AS Marcadia                17    4   5   8    20   27   −7    17
12 Bombarralense              16    4   4   8    21   22   −1    16
13 Osarese Marcadia           14    3   4   7    12   24  −12    13
14 CdF Celtade                17    3   4  10    20   40  −20    13
15 Guerrilla Cathair          16    3   3  10    14   38  −24    12

Alex Sharp is instrumental in Guerrilla’s season so far. The striker, on loan from cross-town rivals 1830 Cathair, scores the first two goals for Guerrilla and is generally involved in their more enterprising play, along with Sarafina Ikpeazu and Urtzumu Ganzarain, both of whom are impressing in their National League debut.

Sharp’s parent club, 1830 Cathair, have played just one game since the second half of the season kicked off, and the win catapults them up to fifth. They rem. ain more thirteen points short of first but with two games in hand, meaning that gap is arguably nearer seven. Is an unlikely comeback story on the cards?

Matchday 27
The National League
Cazadores Cathair 3–0 CdF Celtade
Sparta Zijweg 0–4 Laivanrakentajan JPS
Bombarralense 0–1 KT Moreazerua
KT Itzalovalle 1–3 1830 Cathair
Union Cathair 3–0 Osarese Marcadia

Celtade can do Shamrock no favours.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair          21   16   2   3    45   21  +24    50
 2 Shamrock Cathair           21   13   5   3    49   26  +23    44
 3 KT Moreazerua              20   12   2   6    40   20  +20    38
 4 AC Izotz Zubia             18    9   7   2    39   22  +17    34
 5 1830 Cathair               19    8   7   4    31   23   +8    31
 6 KT Itzalovalle             18    7   5   6    26   20   +6    26
 7 Oljestaden IF              19    7   5   7    27   26   +1    26
 8 Sparta Zijweg              18    6   6   6    23   26   −3    24
 9 Union Cathair              18    7   3   8    23   28   −5    24
10 Laivanrakentajan JPS       21    6   2  13    20   30  −10    20
11 AS Marcadia                20    5   5  10    24   34  −10    20
12 Bombarralense              18    5   4   9    23   24   −1    19
13 Osarese Marcadia           18    5   4   9    16   31  −15    19
14 CdF Celtade                22    3   5  14    24   51  −27    14
15 Guerrilla Cathair          19    3   4  12    16   44  −28    13

With between six and ten games to go, depending on your team, it appears the National League is going to come down to a straight fight between eastern and western Cathair, with the former having a commanding six point lead at the top - almost twenty points ahead of their other Catharan rivals in 1830, who remain fifth. After a string of close seasons at the top, this one appears anything but.

At the bottom, Guerrilla are still only a point from Celtade, but both are mired in the automatic relegation places, now five and six points adrift of Osarese and Bomba, who themselves are only a couple of wins away from competing for a place in the VCI.

In the race for the Challengers’ Cup positions, any two between Itzalovalle and Union Cathair could be playing IFCF football next season, with Sparta out-doing themselves in eighth place and Laivana an outside bet to push up the table.

by **Audioslavia** » Thu Jun 24, 2021 10:26 am

Matchday 30
The National League
Union Cathair 4–1 Bombarralense
Osarese Marcadia 0–1 Sparta Zijweg
1830 Cathair 3–1 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Moreazerua 3–1 Oljestaden IF
Laivanrakentajan JPS 1–0 Guerrilla Cathair

The National League       Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair          21   16   2   3    45   21  +24    50
 2 Shamrock Cathair           22   13   5   4    50   28  +22    44
 3 KT Moreazerua              23   14   2   7    45   24  +21    44
 4 AC Izotz Zubia             21   11   7   3    46   25  +21    40
 5 1830 Cathair               22   11   7   4    39   25  +14    40
 6 KT Itzalovalle             20    8   5   7    30   25   +5    29
 7 Oljestaden IF              21    7   6   8    30   31   −1    27
 8 Union Cathair              20    8   3   9    28   32   −4    27
 9 Sparta Zijweg              21    7   6   8    26   32   −6    27
10 Osarese Marcadia           21    7   4  10    23   33  −10    25
11 Laivanrakentajan JPS       24    7   3  14    23   36  −13    24
12 AS Marcadia                20    5   5  10    24   34  −10    20
13 Bombarralense              21    5   4  12    24   32   −8    19
14 CdF Celtade                23    4   5  14    26   52  −26    17
15 Guerrilla Cathair          20    3   4  13    16   45  −29    13

As Mixu Virtanen will tell you, you can’t go somewhere without leaving something behind. With time running out, Laivana might have ensured their continued presence in the National League via ensuring Guerrilla go down. It’s been a while since Guerrilla Cathair picked up points and the table bears that out. They’re struggling, and Olavi Kivela’s back-heeled finish from seven yards is enough to keep them rooted to the bottom of the table.

Laivana and Osarese now are just three points shy of seventh place - the last Challengers’ Cup spot currently occupied by an Oljestaden side having an Oljestaden season.

At the top, neither Caza nor Shamrock have moved since you last saw the table, largely because only one of them actually played a match in this time. Mozi have shuffled towards 44 points while the battle for that final Champions League spot has come down to a battle between Cathair and Zozi.

At the Arena Kirola, an attacking Cathair side boasting Kramer and Baillaire overpower AC Izotz Zubia in a ruthless first half display. 2-0 up at half time through Fillar and Moselle, Cathair are pegged back via Lothaire Cromwell’s drilled shot. Butler and Baume both go close for the visitors, but Devlin Napier pops up at the far post with an unlikely goal to secure the three points for the capital club, who join Zozi on forty points. Neither side will win the league, but it’s shaping up to be the fiercest battle for fourth place there’s been in recent years.

Matchday 34
The National League
Bombarralense 0–3 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Itzalovalle 1–2 Oljestaden IF
Union Cathair 2–3 Guerrilla Cathair
Osarese Marcadia 1–0 AS Marcadia
1830 Cathair 2–1 Cazadores Cathair
KT Moreazerua 1–2 Shamrock Cathair
Laivanrakentajan JPS 1–2 CdF Celtade

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair          24   17   3   4    50   26  +24    54
 2 KT Moreazerua              27   16   3   8    54   28  +26    51
 3 Shamrock Cathair           24   15   5   4    54   29  +25    50
 4 AC Izotz Zubia             25   13   8   4    55   28  +27    47
 5 1830 Cathair               26   13   8   5    45   29  +16    47
 6 Oljestaden IF              25    9   7   9    35   36   −1    34
 7 KT Itzalovalle             24    9   6   9    34   31   +3    33
 8 Osarese Marcadia           25    9   6  10    30   37   −7    33
 9 Union Cathair              24    9   4  11    32   40   −8    31
10 Sparta Zijweg              24    7   8   9    28   35   −7    29
11 Laivanrakentajan JPS       28    7   4  17    26   43  −17    25
12 Bombarralense              24    6   5  13    27   36   −9    23
13 AS Marcadia                24    5   6  13    25   39  −14    21
14 CdF Celtade                24    5   5  14    28   53  −25    20
15 Guerrilla Cathair          24    4   6  14    21   54  −33    18

From nowhere, Guerrilla Cathair are back in the hunt for survival, and it’s perhaps the game of Alex Sharp’s career so far as a Proper Hattrick - header, left foot, right foot - accounts for cross-city rivals Union in a breathless back-and-forth encounter. Guerrilla, with four games to go, are three points away from safety, but it’s the last piece of good news the Monstrous Regiment gets this season. In midweek, 1830 Cathair announce they’re recalling Sharp from the player’s loan period and intend to use him in the Elders’s tilt at the top four over their final two games. Sharp maintains a dignified media silence. Ronda Styrn does not. Her diatribe against Jerome Jaffacake-Phillips is pretty much entirely unprintable.

Cathair have only two games to go - one fewer than rivals Zozi, and while the side are victorious over a Cazadores team that are being treated as Champions Elect, closing the gap to just seven points, they’re still feeling the pressure. The board are massively concerned with the economic ramifications of missing out on the Champions League next season. With Thea Squarciafichi nursing an ankle injury, Moselle blowing hot and cold and Aymeric Fortin feeling the strain of a long season battling on all three fronts, Cathair need all the help they can get.

At the top, KT Moreazerua are just three points behind the leaders and with better goal difference, but with only one game left to play their chances of taking the league title are effectively nil.

Matchday 35
The National League
CdF Celtade 1–2 KT Moreazerua
Shamrock Cathair 3–1 1830 Cathair
Cazadores Cathair 4–0 Osarese Marcadia
AS Marcadia 1–1 Union Cathair
Guerrilla Cathair 1–4 KT Itzalovalle
Oljestaden IF 2–3 Bombarralense
AC Izotz Zubia 2–2 Sparta Zijweg

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair          25   18   3   4    54   26  +28    57
 2 KT Moreazerua              28   17   3   8    56   29  +27    54
 3 Shamrock Cathair           25   16   5   4    57   30  +27    53
 4 AC Izotz Zubia             26   13   9   4    57   30  +27    48
 5 1830 Cathair               27   13   8   6    46   32  +14    47
 6 KT Itzalovalle             25   10   6   9    38   32   +6    36
 7 Oljestaden IF              26    9   7  10    37   39   −2    34
 8 Osarese Marcadia           26    9   6  11    30   41  −11    33
 9 Union Cathair              25    9   5  11    33   41   −8    32
10 Sparta Zijweg              25    7   9   9    30   37   −7    30
11 Bombarralense              25    7   5  13    30   38   −8    26
12 Laivanrakentajan JPS       28    7   4  17    26   43  −17    25
13 AS Marcadia                25    5   7  13    26   40  −14    22
14 CdF Celtade                25    5   5  15    29   55  −26    20
15 Guerrilla Cathair          25    4   6  15    22   58  −36    18

On a humiliating night for 1830 Cathair, Alex Sharp doesn’t make it off the bench as Shamrock run out comfortable winners, with Finn Townsend dominant in midfield and Fortin managing nothing but a well-taken penalty for Cathair, who remain fifth. A heavy-legged Zozi snatch a point against Sparta thanks to an unlikely Larry Martin strike, while poor Guerrilla, shorn of their attacking edge, are overrun in a bitter home defeat to Itzalovalle.

Matchday 36
The National League
Sparta Zijweg 1–1 Oljestaden IF
Bombarralense 5–0 Guerrilla Cathair
KT Itzalovalle 1–1 AS Marcadia
Union Cathair 0–2 Cazadores Cathair
Osarese Marcadia 0–5 Shamrock Cathair
1830 Cathair 2–0 CdF Celtade

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair          26   19   3   4    56   26  +30    60
 2 Shamrock Cathair           26   17   5   4    62   30  +32    56
 3 KT Moreazerua              28   17   3   8    56   29  +27    54
 4 1830 Cathair               28   14   8   6    48   32  +16    50
 5 AC Izotz Zubia             26   13   9   4    57   30  +27    48
 6 KT Itzalovalle             26   10   7   9    39   33   +6    37
 7 Oljestaden IF              27    9   8  10    38   40   −2    35
 8 Osarese Marcadia           27    9   6  12    30   46  −16    33
 9 Union Cathair              26    9   5  12    33   43  −10    32
10 Sparta Zijweg              26    7  10   9    31   38   −7    31
11 Bombarralense              26    8   5  13    35   38   −3    29
12 Laivanrakentajan JPS       28    7   4  17    26   43  −17    25
13 AS Marcadia                26    5   8  13    27   41  −14    23
14 CdF Celtade                26    5   5  16    29   57  −28    20
15 Guerrilla Cathair          26    4   6  16    22   63  −41    18

With a comprehensive shellacking by Bombarralense, Guerrilla Cathair are effectively relegated, the bottom having fallen out of the debutants’ season. CdF Celtade, defeated by 1830 Cathair, are also all but down, needing at least four points from their final two games to consign AS Marcadia to their doom in their stead.

At the top, KT Moreazerua can only watch as their side drops down to third place, but their Champions League status is affirmed all the same, with Cathair having now played their final game.
 Shamrock, five-nothing winners over Challengers Cup-chasing Osarese, keep pace with Cazadores, but they need their cross-city rivals to throw their season away in order to have a hope of taking the title.

Matchday 37
The National League
CdF Celtade 3–0 Osarese Marcadia
Shamrock Cathair 4–1 Union Cathair
Cazadores Cathair 3–3 KT Itzalovalle
AS Marcadia 2–2 Bombarralense
Guerrilla Cathair 1–3 Sparta Zijweg
Oljestaden IF 0–2 AC Izotz Zubia

Fates are sealed on the penultimate matchday of the season. Guerrilla, as many suspected, are officially down, beaten comfortably against Sparta before their own supporters. Guerrilla are clapped from the field, the lowest budget team to ever appear in the top flight in the professional era made a fist of it until almost the final day.

Osarese, chasing seventh, are upended by Celtade and finish the season ninth at best, and Celtade look yet again to be on the verge of a Great Escape, needing victory against Union Cathair on the final day to stay up - for a few more days at least.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair          27   19   4   4    59   29  +30    61
 2 Shamrock Cathair           27   18   5   4    66   31  +35    59
 3 KT Moreazerua              28   17   3   8    56   29  +27    54
 4 AC Izotz Zubia             27   14   9   4    59   30  +29    51
 5 1830 Cathair               28   14   8   6    48   32  +16    50
 6 KT Itzalovalle             27   10   8   9    42   36   +6    38
 7 Oljestaden IF              28    9   8  11    38   42   −4    35
 8 Sparta Zijweg              27    8  10   9    34   39   −5    34
 9 Osarese Marcadia           28    9   6  13    30   49  −19    33
10 Union Cathair              27    9   5  13    34   47  −13    32
11 Bombarralense              27    8   6  13    37   40   −3    30
12 Laivanrakentajan JPS       28    7   4  17    26   43  −17    25
13 AS Marcadia                27    5   9  13    29   43  −14    24
14 CdF Celtade                27    6   5  16    32   57  −25    23
15 Guerrilla Cathair          27    4   6  17    23   66  −43    18

For Cathair, whose fifth place finished is now confirmed to be their worst ever performance in National League history, the inquest begins immediately. 14-8-6 and fifty points isn’t a terrible haul - the side managed just 49 two seasons ago in a third place finish - but the lack of income will draw questions from investors and the lack of a spot in the Champions League will draw the ire of supporters already keen for JJP’s head. Especially with former striker Ronda Styrn possibly looking for a job.

Zozi, with one game to go at home to Guerrilla Cathair, will try to leapfrog Mozi into third, but the big game of the final day will be at the top of the table. Cazadores and Shamrock are only two points apart, with the former away to Bombarralense and the latter visiting Itzalovalle on the final day.

National Two                   Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Calcio Sicurezza Exiles      38   24   8   6    75   36  +39    80 Promoted
 2 Tenth Star Hasiera           38   25   5   8    74   40  +34    80 Promoted
 3 Excelsior Zijweg             38   21   8   9    72   38  +34    71 Promotion Playoff
 4 Tout-Puissant Hasiera        38   23   2  13    69   42  +27    71 Promotion Playoff
 5 KT Ferramendiak              38   20   7  11    56   45  +11    67
 6 Crossport Dynamo             38   18  12   8    59   42  +17    66
 7 Ceilerden Rovers             38   19   7  12    59   47  +12    64
 8 Eletti Valligiani            38   16  13   9    55   40  +15    61
 9 Santa Margarida              38   18   5  15    56   44  +12    59
10 KT Laranjauzia               38   14  11  13    49   40   +9    53
11 Silexhera FC                 38   14   9  15    52   50   +2    51
12 Laranjeiras                  38   12  14  12    49   51   −2    50
13 Burdoc Ridge                 38   12  12  14    57   49   +8    48
14 Sobrevolante                 38   11  15  12    46   39   +7    48
15 Isle of Kjeligsted FC        38   11  14  13    47   48   −1    47
16 KT Koroatuz                  38   12  11  15    54   58   −4    47
17 Orquideas                    38    8   7  23    39   91  −52    31
18 Crossport Mariners           38    3  14  21    42   88  −46    23
19 Necromarinai                 38    4   5  29    26   84  −58    17
20 Ceilerden Harp               38    1   9  28    25   89  −64    12

[box]AS Marcadia 3-1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Laivanrakentajas JPS 0-0 Excelsior Zijweg

AS Marcadia 1-0 Laivanrakentajas JPS
Excelsior Zijweg 0-1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera

Laivanrakentajas JPS 2-0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
AS Marcadia 2-0 Excelsior Zijweg

Team                    P   W   D   L   F   A   GD  Pts
AS Marcadia             3   3   0   0   6   1   +5  9
Laivanrakentajan JPS    3   1   1   1   2   1   +1  4
Tout-Puissant Hasiera   3   1   0   2   2   5   -3  3
Excelsior Zijweg        3   0   1   2   0   3   -3  1

Laivana leave it late, but a final day win over Tout Puissant is enough to maintain their place in the top flight for one more season. Mixu Virtanen, days away from take-off, is rumoured to have accidentally broken a gyroscope in celebration.

Kirola Cup Preliminary Round
Lawport FC 2–2 Ceilerden Harp (3–2 AET)
Ross Railway 4–1 Edina City
KT Kanpoldelko 0–1 2130 Calolziolungho
Vidrieros 1–2 Albakirk Athletic
CF Cruceros 1–0 Calcio Lecho
Viking Hryggur 2–0 Necromarinai
Leftfield Owls 3–1 Straitport Rovers
Valens AV 2–1 Kitherwell
Deportivo de Puerta Cruz 2–2 Burnfax Trinity (2–2 AET) (7–8 pen.)
Maccabi Hasiera 1–3 Fundición
Garden City FC 0–0 Cerejeiras (0–2 AET)
Leftfield United 2–0 CdFS Ilheiros
Frecce 3–1 Reina Del Sud
Valderantia United 2–2 Viking Halehavn (2–2 AET) (4–3 pen.)
KT Ferratzaileak 0–0 Ross Rovers (1–0 AET)
Valão 2–2 Clockwork FC (3–2 AET)
Glesca Rebels 1–2 Glesca Royals
Leftfield Steelworks 1–3 Orquideas

Kirola Cup
The Oran 2–4 Bombarralense
KT Laranjauzia 1–3 Sparta Zijweg
Sobrevolante 2–1 Leftfield United
KT Ferratzaileak 1–0 CF Herradores
Shamrock Cathair 4–2 AS Marcadia
Albakirk Athletic 0–0 Alistoun Academicals (0–0 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Laivanrakentajan JPS 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Burdoc Ridge 2–0 1830 Cathair
Calcio Sicurezza Exiles 2–0 2130 Calolziolungho
Tenth Star Hasiera 1–1 Artiglieria (3–1 AET)
Oljestaden IF 1–2 Hibernação
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 2–0 Lawport FC
Huiszwalluw FC 0–0 Corações (1–0 AET)
Sporting Clube de São Jeremías 2–4 Ceilerden Rovers
Orquideas 1–0 Leftfield Owls
Valens AV 1–1 Sporting Clube Marinheiros (1–1 AET) (2–3 pen.)
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 2–2 Union Cathair (2–2 AET) (2–3 pen.)
Osarese Marcadia 1–1 Cerejeiras (3–1 AET)
DDM Dunas Secas 1–2 KT Itzalovalle
KT Ferramendiak 1–0 Silexhera FC
Crossport Mariners 1–2 Valão
Eletti Valligiani 2–0 Viking Hryggur
Guerrilla Cathair 3–1 Lemmitania State FC
Cazadores Cathair 3–1 C.D. Portobranco
Uniao Tortuguita 2–0 Glesca Royals
AC Izotz Zubia 2–0 Valderantia United
KT Koroatuz 3–0 Fundición
Excelsior Zijweg 2–0 Laranjeiras
Santa Margarida 1–1 CF Cruceros (1–3 AET)
Burnfax Trinity 1–2 Crossport Dynamo
Ross Railway 2–1 Iron Brewery
Frecce 2–4 CdF Celtade

Kirola Cup
Calcio Sicurezza Exiles 0–0 Union Cathair (0–0 AET) (4–3 pen.)
CF Cruceros 1–3 CdF Celtade
Tenth Star Hasiera 1–4 Guerrilla Cathair
Huiszwalluw FC 2–1 Albakirk Athletic
Bombarralense 0–2 AC Izotz Zubia
Sparta Zijweg 4–1 Ross Railway
Excelsior Zijweg 4–1 Orquideas
Ceilerden Rovers 2–1 Osarese Marcadia
Eletti Valligiani 3–1 KT Ferramendiak
Sporting Clube Marinheiros 0–1 Hibernação
KT Moreazerua 2–0 KT Itzalovalle
KT Ferratzaileak 0–2 Shamrock Cathair
Valão 0–3 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
Cazadores Cathair 1–2 Sobrevolante
Crossport Dynamo 3–3 KT Koroatuz (3–3 AET) (7–6 pen.)
Uniao Tortuguita 0–0 Burdoc Ridge (0–0 AET) (3–4 pen.)

Kirola Cup
Huiszwalluw FC 0–4 AC Izotz Zubia
Excelsior Zijweg 1–2 Calcio Sicurezza Exiles
Sparta Zijweg 0–0 CdF Celtade (0–2 AET)
Burdoc Ridge 2–2 Sobrevolante (2–3 AET)
KT Moreazerua 3–1 Hibernação
Eletti Valligiani 1–1 Shamrock Cathair (1–1 AET) (4–5 pen.)
Crossport Dynamo 1–2 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
Ceilerden Rovers 1–4 Guerrilla Cathair

by **Audioslavia** » Fri Jun 25, 2021 6:19 pm

Report Cards: Season 15
Part One

Guerrilla Cathair are too pure for this league. In reaching the Kirola Cup final and keeping the side in contention for safety up until the penultimate matchday, manager Ronda Styrn has performed beyond all expectations with the meagre resources at her disposal. The side will rejoin the National Two with some rebuilding to do, with Sarafina Ikpeazu expected to be snaffled away by a top team after seriously impressing in her debut season. Alex Sharp will rejoin 1830 Cathair with a mission: Force his way into the first team.
Player of the Season: Alex Sharp
Goal of the Season: A deflected cross from Urtzumu Ganzarain sends the ball looping and curling unexpectedly towards the edge of the eighteen-yard box, where Sarafina Ikpeazu is waiting, ready to volley the ball home, until at the last minute she decides to kill the ball dead underneath her right foot, roll it onto her left peg and curl the ball deliciously round Maren Artetxebarria and into the net off the underside of the bar. The Monstrous Regiment would end up losing the game 5-1.
Expected Transfers Out: Sarafina Ikpeazu is too good for the second division. Alex Sharp, controversially, had already been removed from the team.

In pre-season, CdF Celtade may have broken the record for the largest amount of high-price transfers to simply not come together. Not you, Kausu Dione, you’re great and will deserve your stint at whichever super-club comes in for you. We’re talking about the likes of Xander Washington, the first footballer in history to demand his own changing room - apparently a reaction to team-mate Robert Clayton deciding he disliked him enough to jump on him every time he needed to fart. We understand he began a low-carb, high protein diet in order to maximise his total gas output, as his on-field output dropped off a cliff. George Jenkins made a decent fist of things in midfield, with Daniel Kerlov an equally keen addition in midfield and Élie Dembélé trying her hardest on the wing. At least according to everone except Elsebeth Celustka, whose precise demands for passes to be made to her feet (NOT to her ankles and NOT in front of her to “run onto”, to her FEET) were left unmet, and as such her animatedly-slapping her hips in frustration while rolling her eyes - to - games ratio was the highest in the league.
Player of the Season: Kausu Dione
Goal of the Season: Elsebeth Celustka is, admittedly, quite good at football. On one of the few occasions where she did receive the ball at her feet, on or around the penalty spot with two Osarese defenders approaching, an oscar-worthy drop of her left shoulder sent Salvador Monterroso to the corner shop for a bottle of milk and a packet of chewing gum, and a feinted pass to her right was intercepted by Marcin Close, who was so convinced the pass had been coming she almost tried to clear the ball-less air-pocket she’d intercepted. Elsebeth simply side-footed the ball into the corner of the net through the gap the two defenders had very generously left behind.
Expected Transfers Out: Pretty much everyone mentioned above. Especially Dione, who has the attentions of Shamrock, Caza and Zozi. Celustka is said to have the attentions of KT Itzalovalle, who are looking for a wildcard to partner Moxey and Parrish in midfield.

Laivanrakentajan JPS will officially go by the much simpler Laivana JPS next season. The side were winless in six going into their final game of the playoffs, in which their victory over Tout-Puissant Hasiera kept them in the top flight for another season. They owe their continued survival to twenty year-old number ten Olavi Kivela, whose goals and enterprising forward play the side relied upon religiously. Winger Matthias Raphaelsson found his feet during the season and emerged as a key member of the team late on, with experienced Astograthian striker Mikelatz Idaberry and Audioslavian midfielder Patricio Seda-Thompson also impressive. At the back, Anders Ibsen and Eric Soren are starting to work well together, with Jaana Jokinen of Squornshelan Remnant States an occasional attacking threat.
Player of the Season: Olavi Kivela
Goal of the Season: Kivela turned provider for Laivana’s Goal of the Season, pausing briefly with the ball on the edge of the area to wait for experienced midfielder Christian Cafasso to arrive as the extra man into the box. A languid scooped lob dropped enticingly in front of the midfielder, who calmly volleyed a lob over the advancing Union goalkeeper with the inside of his foot, wheeling away before the ball dropped slowly over the line, without the energy even to touch the netting.
Expected Transfers Out: Laivana will want to keep hold of Kivela, though teenage centre half Antero Koskinen has captured the attentions of a number of Audioslavian clubs.

AS Marcadia’s season fourteen had been one of the best in the club’s history, finishing eighth after two successive seasons in the relegation playoffs. This time out, their fifth and final win of the campaign (the second lowest in the division, ahead of only Guerrilla) came on Matchday 26 of 38. Player manager Alessandro Juliana had planned to retire, but an inability to add meaningfully to the squad has forced him into a midfield role alongside Saviglano international Gabriel Buvalelli, the jewel in Marcadia’s crown who, along with Simon Arvanitakis, provides most of Marcadia’s chances. What the side really miss, though, is a holding midfielder, and Marcadia’s otherwise capable defence were left brutally exposed at times. Goalkeeper Fortune Cammers did his best to stop the rot, and made some important saves throughout the season, but it was one to forget for AS Marcadia.
Player of the Season: Gabriel Buvalelli
Goal of the Season: A penalty from Juliana, if only because I’m a sucker for a panenka.
Expected Transfers Out: Buvalelli could command quite the transfer fee, but such a deal would be an admission by Juliana that he doesn’t see any way up the table with this club. Marcadia’s main dealins will be to release some of the dead wood - Mattia Cicale and Edoardo del Conte barely played at all.

Bomba were utterly anonymous this season, slumping to eleventh in a season where they tried, and failed, to reinvent the 4-3-3 system. Jacob Marley has become the side’s standout player, but naturally Daczibog Ketadzic wins the plaudits for player of the season. Because it’s Ketadzic.
Player of the Season: Daczibog Ketadzic
Goal of the Season: You might expect it to be the time Rylan Bishop turned Oljestaden’s Pelle Juergensen inside-out on the edge of the area before bursting into space and launching the ball into the ceiling of the net, but no. Daczibog Ketadzic scored a header in a cup win over The Oran and that got picked instead.
Expected Transfers Out: Teenage Audioslavian striker Cillian Hurdly started to sneak his way into the side in later games, pricking the ears of some of the more moneyed teams in the league, while fellow Audioslavian Leandro Mexilhões may be moved - the winger’s form having fallen off a cliff since his brief stint in the national side.
Max Rizzo may depart, with the team not quite big enough for both him and Bishop, while Beck Clayborn is surely due for retirement in Brenecia’s second division.

That Osarese Marcadia finished the season eight points clear of the drop-zone is a testament to their nerve and resilience, having spent so long flirting with their own doom. They ended up, along with Union and Sparta, just two points from seventh place, but in reality this was another season to forget for Fabio Mancini. The former Galactico Manager of the Year has been at the club for six seasons now, and there are rumours that his future lies elsewhere. Teenage Quebecois Bong Min-Joong and Yue Zhou’s Jieren Jiang were instrumental to the team’s forward play, their work on the flank providing opportunities for Garnett Makanza and Johan Simundsen to net themselves double figures up front, with Lara Auðunsdóttir providing an option up front. In the middle, experienced Cosumarite Dane Pridgeon has become an inspirational captain for the side, with Tayaaga Romneir, one of many Mrii defenders in the National League, increasingly trusted to lead the defensive line.
Player of the Season: Bong Min-Joong
Goal of the Season: As if it wasn’t enough that she’s Osarian, 36 year-old midfield substitute Caprice Martinelli’s relentless one-girl gegenpress of rivals AS Marcadia already had the fans up in their seats even before an attempted pass back to the goalkeeper was hideously underhit. Martinelli[ got there before an advancing keeper and nonchalantly flicked itin off the post for 3-1 before collecting the adulation of the adoring fans - an instant classic.
Expected Transfers Out: Salvador Monterroso is perhaps *done* at this level, while 32 year-old full-back Marcin Close is a 32 year-old full-back, with teenage Ko-orenite Harmon Mulvahill waiting in the wings. Neither Min-Joong nor Jiang are for sale at any price, though we’ve heard that before.

Not only did Union Cathair successfuly avoid second-season syndrome, they got themselves two points more than in their inaugural National League season. Fierce number eight Ronan Fallon has been a poor-man’s Finn Townsend - though that’s hardly a bad thing to be considering how lauded Townsend is in Audioslavia - while Nepharan Labinot Ruscoe has done their bit up front, albeit out-shone somewhat by former Celtade striker Luca Senna. At the back, Anargyos Zervaes has been terrorizing attackers with his relentless observations. “Mad how you’ve not touched the ball for eighteen minutes”, “Where did you get those boots?”, “Ken shirts? How do they make them different colours? Is it different bits of material or do they just dye the one bit of material?” and repeat ad infinitum. On the wing. Khabib Ilyev was a strange signing, but the Sannyamathland man continues to crop up with a random goal every now and again - something formerly first choice Luke Rose was sorely lacking.
Player of the Season: Ronan Fallon
Goal of the Season: Luca Senna is a fox-in-the-box style finisher who rarely scores spectacular goals. When his shot is blocked, it generally falls to Pascual Castel, who is more likely to score spectacular goals from bouncing balls at the edge of the area. His strike against Osarese is just so, hitting a dropping ball with a meaty ker-thunk and waggling his finger in the air after Shinji Teruzuki can only watch it flash past him.
Expected Transfers Out: Daineri goalkeeper Hardcheese may be needed elsewhere as more of a premium is placed on such a luxury.

Sparta Zijweg’s first season in the top flight has been a successful one, finishing eighth and qualifying for the VCI, but then city rivals Excelsior were also good for their first season and, well, look where they are now. Sparta could have done more if they’d been allowed to keep semi-permanently Audioslavian-based Vanorian striker Dennis Våge, but as it happened Eneco Carabello was keen enough to show why Cathair were too hasty in letting him go to score goals by the hat-ful.
Player of the Season: Eneco Carabello
Goal of the Season: Carabello again, redirecting a wayward shot with a leaping, spinning header that wrong-footed the goalkeeper and sent the ball into the opposite corner.
Expected Transfers Out: Sparta are more than the sum of their parts, and so it’s difficult to know which players would be able to kick on elsewhere and which could be stars in a stronger team. Aside from Carabello, Alessandro Greig looks best placed to be able to kick on at any club, the 22 year-old midfielder having been a huge part of the team’s unlikely success this year.

by **Audioslavia** » Sun Jun 27, 2021 10:07 am

Report Cards: Season 15
Part Two

Since the 15-team era began, the highest position Oljestaden IF have finished in has been seventh. The lowest? Ninth. The absolute epitome of a mid-table football team, only occasional short-lived stints in the Challengers Cup and a solitary Kirola Cup win have been the highlights. The side often have trouble hanging onto their youth prospects, and tend to replace them via their left-field scouting policy. Polarian manager Tomas Kristofics signed Sannyamathland striker Ivan Sandiev last season to great effect, either partnering fan favourite Cocoabo #91 up front or played out on the left to provide service for either Bertus Verschor or Savojarnan Kasperi Otalainen. In midfield, Squornshelan Remnant Torvald Ebben is at the peak of his powers, partnered by occasional national team player Bastiaan Makaay. Helge Persson is the side’s Big Fucking Graintfjaller, marshalling a defence that includes Mrii Maas Hadler and occasionally Jovannic’s Da Chong, while there’s been some competition for the left-back spot between Taeshani full-back Santiago Santiago and Iskandervale’s Yon Martua.
Player of the Season: Torvald Ebben
Goal of the Season: BFG Helge Persson isn’t only good for powering home headers. The centre half nodded down a corner kick on matchday twenty-three for Cocoabo #91 to finish with aplomb, leaping, turning and back-talonning the ball into the goal from ten yards.
Expected Transfers Out: Christian Kracht has garnered some attention since his selection for Audioslavia’s CAFA Cup squad, while teenage defensive midfielder Jensen Ostergard started appearing from the sub’s bench more often over the final few games and may have attracted some international attention.
IFCF Watch: The quintessential cup team, Oljestaden reached the semi-final stage via a string of strong performances - most impressively featuring a heroic second-leg defence of a two-goal lead against Valladar heavyweights Fontvielle Impact. Defeat to Teussen Stelburg in the semi-finals was nothing to be ashamed of, and Oljestaden will be confident of their intercontinental prospects heading into the new season.

After finishing second and fourth in seasons eleven and twelve, this is KT Itzalovalle’s third successive sixth place. The side simply cannot break into that upper bracket despite the talent at their disposal. Moses Moxey is closing in on a hundred caps for Audioslavia, yet the 27 year-old has no domestic silverware to show for it, his team having won nothing for twenty three seasons now - not even a second division title after their brief sojourn into National Two, having finished runners-up behind KT Laranjauzia.
The blame may fall with the departure of Ager Alaba, who has gone on to do great things with AC Izotz Zubia while replacement Robert Smith has floundered. Moxey’s midfield partner Dreigiau Parrish is similarly frustrated by his team and his manager, and may be seeking silverware elsewhere. It’s a strong line-up at Itzi, but Wilhelm Nkitilina isn’t performing to expectations and Gabirel Zozaia’s form has worsened, necessitating the Daineri duo of Jiskastnya and Zakuty getting more game time up front than you might expect. Brenecian flank duo Liza Price and Katua Byrne started brightly, but there’s something in the way Smith manages the team that seems to cause mental and physical fatigue later on into seasons.
Nevertheless, Itzi are in the Challengers’ Cup next season, and with an influx of talent and perhaps a change of manager, the side could well challenge next year.
Player of the Season: Floriano Côtescassées
Goal of the Season: Getting himself under a Moses Moxey header that had rebounded high off the bar, Dreigiau Parrish shapes to try an overhead scissor-kick but, instead, catches the ball on his instep, tucks it behind his standing leg, twists and and pings the ball into the roof of the net in, seemingly, one fluid movement to take the lead against Sparta Zijweg on matchday thirteen.
Expected Transfers Out:Moses Moxey may not be long for this team, and keep an eye on Parrish too, but a change in manager could entice one or both to stay.
IFCF Watch: Bottom of their Challengers' Cup group with a single victory to their name, Itzalovalle paid no respect to Thursday nights and, in return, Thursday paid Itzi no respect back.

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear 1830 Cathair, a worst finish in The National League ever. Fifth place and outside the Champions League places for the first time since the very first post-LigAnaia season. Of all the managerial seats in the league, Jerome Jaffacake-Phillips’s is perhaps the hottest. Ysaak’s performances have been nothing short of disastrous, but teenage Chromatik Grayson Fillar is, at nineteen, not yet ready to fill that gap. Baillaire Fillar has made more progress, if largely due to being forced into a starting role at CdF Celtade for last season, aged just seventeen, and it’s in the younger sister’s progress that Cathair have pinned their midfield future, with Thorsten Kramer now thirty and rumoured to be considering his options. The side’s three strikers, Squarciafichi, Fortin and Moselle have taken it in turns to blow hot or cold this season, with the former the most reliable, while Anselm Koerner and Xaime Medal found opposing defences ready for them in higher profile games.
In Cathair’s defence (as in, in defence of their season, not just listening messrs Okano, Menard, Van Scelven and Vlahilades), the fifty points they achieved this season would have been enough for third in recent years. Their failure is as much a failure to keep ahead of the other big teams as it is a general inability to convert draws to wins.
Player of the Season: Goran Stroud
Goal of the Season: It’s a question of which Thorsten Kramer thunderbolt you prefer, and Cathair fans went for the one that rescued a point against AC Izotz Zubia, struck had and clean into the bottom corner at the exact moment some Kramer magic was needed most.
Expected Transfers Out: …surely not, right? Surely not.
IFCF Watch: A dreadful home defeat to Ponyville had Shamrock and Caza fans in hysterics after Christmas and officially inducted Cathair's season into banterdom.

Where Cathair faltered, KT Moreazerua thrived. The champions of season four snuck their way unto the Champions League for the second time in three seasons, and it’s surely only a matter of time before a title tilt, right? After all, local rivals Itzalovalle have finished in the top two more recently than Mozi, and despite Itzi’s prowess, it’s Mozi that have the more exciting team. The front two of Koenraad Rijsbergen and Olentzaro Karazatorre were, at times, untouchable, supplied by the likes of Turorian duo Imauka Lkomorak and Mbdiai Akarenaa, who themselves have been given license to create by a staunch defensive midfield performance from Ronan Stenhouse, Mozi were capable of beating anyone on their day. Adelaide Garcia in particular has been singled out as a player whose services the side absolutely must keep going into the transfer window, with Zeta Rekan Bartolomej Wladmirowić[. steadfastly reliable partner at the back, shortly to be replaced by young gun Oran Coldcross, it seems.
Player of the Season: Koenraad Rijsbergen
Goal of the Season: A thunderbolt from Mbdiai Akarenaa capped off the side’s five-goal demolition of Guerrilla late in the season, the midfielder hitting a bouncing ball as sweetly as possible and in off the far post for the final goal of the game.
Expected Transfers Out:Asztrik Puskas will likely be moved on, while Gael Texeira may well lose the battle for popularity among Mozi fans against Mrii midfielder Morea Zozetua, for reasons which should be obvious.
IFCF Watch: A third round defeat to Zeta Reka’s Aleiusia Capital zapped Mozi’s confidence at a vital stage in the season. Fans see it as an opportunity missed for a side they hope are not wasting one of their greatest ever teams.

Ager Alaba’s decision to change jobs a few years ago was Itz’s loss and AC Izotz Zubia’s gain, with Zozi consistent in both the league and IFCF competitions. This season the loss of Julia Muller to an as-yet unexplained decision to quit the club weakened the side, for whom Baume and Coren struggled under the workload thrust upon them. Atole Kaplan has largely displaced Kalactinian Larry Martinez at left back, but Thomas Butler remains a huge player for a side that, with Fortune Russell on the opposing flank, are hellishly dangerous on the counter. Zozi’s strength comes from their back six, with Gentle Breeze and Branadru two experienced goalkeepers and Leandro Ceron the heart of a solid defence that boasts Mytanar Grigorij Savicevic a wild-eyed gatekeeper with riddles three to pose opposing strikers. Domiku Bergara, after a few seasons as a squad player, is certainly now a fully fledged key player for Zozi. On paper, they don’t quite match up to the likes of Cathair, Mozi or even Itzi, but they continue to outperform each of the above teams. A Kirola Cup win over Guerrilla is a nice way to cap their season off.
Player of the Season: Lothaire Cromwell/b]
[b]Goal of the Season: Thomas Butler has a habit of looking like he’s slowing down just before he skins you. As he gallops down the wing in their first game with Bombarralense, he thrice seems about to pass the ball and thrice, instead, beats his man before languidly scooping a finish beyond Uolleys for a goal that brings the Soldaduak Eremuaberria jubilantly to its feet.
Expected Transfers Out:
IFCF Watch: While they put together a quiet yet capable performance in the league, Zozi’s IFCF form is where they really impressed. An all-Audioslavian semi-final with Shamrock resulted in a fortunate penalty shoot-out victory, and for large parts of the final they appeared to be heading towards a second Champions League title. Kitara, however, refused to go down, and an awful attempt at a Panenka by Eskuin Nekol saw the Champions League evade Zozi yet again.

Shamrock were champions the previous season, picking up seventeen wins and fifty-five points. This season they took eighteen wins, lost fewer games and attained sixty points. It’s hard to know where Alexander Crewe went wrong, if at all. One might point to the loss of Thor Møller to international politics, but the steep and immediate rise to prominence of TJUN-ia striker Archer Andrews made up for that, and with the addition of another striker the side should compete again next year.
Left wingers Fergus Sloan and talismanic Colm O'Tuathail are an embarrassment of riches, with O’Tuathail preferred in the marquee games but Sloan starting slightly more games this season. On the right, Sho Itō’s service has improved season upon season, with the Squidroidian the side’s assist leader this season. In the centre, Finn Townsend has treated Audioslavian football like a dog treats an ballpen and continues to be the beating heart of this team.
In defence, Ffibwd yTewgneoll[b] and [b]Viðar Adriansson are somehow *not* in their respective national teams’ squads, let along forming the backbone of their respective defences, which is something that Shamrock fans find peculiar. With TJUN-ian Aron McKenna on the left and any number of MacCowans across the rest of the defence, and with Tom McFarland in goal (again, somehow not a mainstay in Audioslavia’s national team), Shamrock’s back line has largely held firm.
Player of the Season: Finn Townsend
Goal of the Season: What Townsend does in defence, Corby Wheeler does in attack, and the number eight had quite the season for crackers. The fans chose a hit against Marcadia in the first round of the Kirola Cup, with the Brenecian latching onto a dropping ball and hitting a dipping shot that goalkeeper Fortune Cammers could only watch exasperatedly as it arced into the top of the goal behind him.
Expected Transfers Out: Reserves Kieran Docherty and Bombidillyo are coming to the tail ends of their contracts and could be let go, with a string of youth players seemingly ready and already able to take their places.
IFCF Watch: See above. Shamrock and Zozi have played each other a number of times on the intercontinental stage, and their habit of losing out in the cruellest way possible is starting to rub fans the wrong way.

At the top, Rook Cathar’s Cazadores were simply sublime, with enough strength, depth and diversity in attack to keep any team guessing. Would they pick Creidne Lindauer, the Brenecian goal-machine at the tail end of a prolific career? Or perhaps the half-Siovanian, half-Audioslavian wonderkid Wilhelm Hielscher-Zendagorta, now codenammed Whizzkid, who’s enterprising forward play so many teams couldn’t find the answer for? Maybe the alarmingly strong Quebecois Kepler Marcel Gouveia de Souza, nicknamed Vegeta, who has finally started to get some meaningful time on the back pages as well as in the glossy magazines. There’s also Valladar striker Cristian Benitez as Caza’s default option, who finished as the side’s top goalscorer this season, thanks in no small amount to the creative nfluence of Adrian Toscani in midfield as well as the industrious Azaim.
Inteali Koranjo may only be twenty-two years old, but the defender has become the fulcrum of a defence that includes Big Fucking Grainfjaller Hilmar Farmansson as the seige weapon and Iago Cacho as the annoying little shit who won’t leave you alone, while Eastfielder Cristos Harding has occasionally strolled through games without breaking a sweat when called upon. Caza were, simply, imperious, and with goalkeeper Juxon Fillar equal to what few chances were able to reach him, it’s no surprise that, for many observers, the league had been decided well before the end of the season.
Player of the Season: Inteali Koranjo
Goal of the Season: Shaping up for a free-kick, Adrian Toscani decides against the usual curling effort over the wall and instead, anticipating the jump, drills the ball underneath it with the outside of his foot, leaving Laivana keeper Tapani Haataja off balance as he fails to change direction in time and can only watch as the ball curls in off the foot of the near post.
Expected Transfers Out: Sharktail international Azaim has been told he no longer features in Rook Cathar’s plans, while stylish Mercedinian pairing Giorgio Gucci and Christian Armani may also be deemed surplus to requirements.
IFCF Watch: Dumped out of the Challengers Cup in the playoff round, Caza’s league title win can partially be put down to the side fighting on only one front this season. As champions they head directly into the Champions League group stage, and their fans will expect at least the knockout stages this coming season.

Team of the Season
GK - Goran Stroud - 1830 Cathair
RB - Tiago Brown - Cazadores Cathair
LB - Tryfon Vlahilades - 1830 Cathair
CB - Inteali Koranjo - Cazadores Cathair (Kirola Player of the Season)
CB - Grigorij Savicevic - AC Izotz Zubia
DM - Finn Townsend - Shamrock Cathair
RM - Thomas Butler - AC Izotz Zubia
LM - Sarafina Ikpeazu - Guerrilla Cathair
AM - Olavi Kivela - Laivana JPS - (Hygolje Young Player of the Season)
CF - Archer Andrews - Shamrock Cathair
CF - Olentzaro Karazatorre - KT Moreazerua

by **Audioslavia** » Wed Sep 08, 2021 8:07 pm

Season 16

Yuriorkis Stelea felt guilty even entering the penalty area. This was where the *actual* footballers played. He, a teenager, but more importantly a defensive midfielder who's job largely consisted of sweeping up any mistakes from when the actual footballers didn't football actually enough, by rights shouldn't be allowed there. But circumstances.

2-2. Last minute. Home crowd. Derby day. Itzi versus Zozi. Only three more games until the end of the season. An outside shot at the title. A very real chance of qualifying for the Champions League. Yuriorkis ignored what he assumed Daniel Bernard must have been shouting at him, the new manager having informed him, in no uncertain terms, that he should *not* lose his head and go for glory at any point in the game, and drifted towards the fringes of the throng of players in the box.

The cross is an in-swinger, delivered by Gabirel Zozaia. Zozi's goalkeeper, Ferus, jumps highest, but he's off balance from the attention he's being given by Alejandro Consuegra and his punch is more of a flail. The ball loops up into the air and spins awkwardly down towards Yuriorkis.

It's a defender's finish. Snatched at, the outside of his left foot scuffing against the ball with his left foot planted on the turf. The ball swirls and arcs slowly goalwards, spinning away from a goalkeeper trying to reposition himself and looping over the head of Eskuin Nekol on the goal line, whose jump is hilariously too early. The ball skims off the back of his head as it drops into the corner of the goal.

Yuriorkis Stelea doesn't have time to work out how one goes about celebrating a goal. He's immediately dragged to the ground by Liza Price and much of the rest of Itzi's team follow.

Up in the stands, a set of commentators tyldesley their way through a number of cliches. At the corner of their monitor, an updated league table appears.

The National League            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair            24   14   3   7    51   31  +20    45
 2 1830 Cathair                 23   14   3   6    41   22  +19    45
 3 Shamrock Cathair             22   14   3   5    38   25  +13    45
 4 AC Izotz Zubia               22   14   2   6    42   23  +19    44
 5 KT Itzalovalle               25   12   8   5    40   28  +12    44
 6 KT Moreazerua                23   13   5   5    41   32   +9    44

This... this is going down to the wire.

KT Itzalovalle Itzi
The Antzerkia, (Cap: 48000). Ferramendiak, Herradura

Domestic Honours - 1
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Echepare Rospide (25, G , ASG)
2. Jerónimo Marzan (28, D/M RCL, AUD)
3. Katua Byrne (19, M L, BRE)
4. Artizar Bailo (27, DM C, ASG)
5. Alejandro Consuegra (27, D C, AUD)
6. Garai Echevarrieta (28, D C, AUD)
7. Arial Skidoomacher (31, DM C, AUD)
8. Kausu Dione (28, F C, BNJ)
9. Gabirel Zozaia (29, F C, AUD)
10. Dreigiau Parrish (26, AM C, BRE)
11. Gabirel Oteiza (31, M RL, AUD)
12. Liza Price (28, D R, BRE)
14. Eurico Da Rosa (25, AM/F C, AUD)
15. Floriano Côtescassées (21, D/M L, AUD)
17. Yuriorkis Stelea (17, D/M C, AUD)
18. Eneko Burionagonatotorecagageazcoechea (24, M CR, AUD)
19. Claudio Vantula (22, F C, MRT)
20. Reynard Salama (22, D C, EFL)
21. Theo Cosumar (30, D RL, AUD)
22. Vianca (29, G , DAI)
Mng. Daniel Bernard (VLD)

The Burdina Jauregia is by far the biggest stadium around. Situated in the heart of Itzalovalle's home city of Ferramendiak, built halfway up and buried partly into the cliffs of one of the city's five mountains, the 85,000 seater ground has hosted World Cup and AOCAF knockouts, plus a Glone Cup final to boot. It's one of the most impressive stadiums in the country, but it's Itzalovalle's. Itzi play on the outskirts in a stadium about half the size: The Antzerkia. Built next to a river in a valley between two mountains, tight, tall, concrete and ugly, what little of the outside world that is visible consists mainly of the two mountains either side.

Itzi have underachieved throughout their history. Aside from a tumultuous period where the side almost sank to the third tier, the club were a founding member of the original LigAnaia and have spent long periods of their history near the summit of the Audioslavian game without ever truly getting there. One solitary domestic cup, won near the start of the LigAnaia era, is all the silverware they have to show for their exploits, which have involved a second and a third place finish in the league.

The appointment of Valladar manager Daniel Bernard, and the loss of talismanic midfielder Moses Moxey, has led to a change of tack for this season, with the side lining up in a more attacking 4-3-3 formation with the defence protected by one, and sometimes two, defensive minded midfielders to make up for Moxey's box-to-box energy. At the start of the campaign, these two DMs were the veteran occasional Audioslavia midfielder Arial Skoddomacher and incoming Astograthian number four Artizar Bailo, but in recent weeks the name Yurorkis Stelea has featured on the team sheet. Just seventeen years old, Stelea is as green as they come, but the midfielder's energy and enthusiasm has made him an instant hit among the Itzi faithful, and with a higher level of technique than the average Audioslavian, without losing out in terms of tenacity, Stelea may be one to watch for the future.

It hasn't been an easy season for the men in red, whose record dropped from an impressive 9-3-3 at the halfway stage to 9-6-5 before the fight back into the top six. With three games to go compared to their rivals' five or six, they have the outsidiest of outside chances of all the big six, but nevertheless the side have gone undefeated for two months now, and are keen to finish the season strongly: Of the six teams, only four can qualify for the IFCF Champions League.

All three of Itzi's remaining games are must-win, and so Union Cathair's 75th minute equaliser is a particularly frustrating blow for their travelling fans. Union, fighting to stay clear of the final relegation playoff spot, pick up the tempo and go close to taking the lead through Cabinet Ruscoe, but Itzi's superior fitness starts to come to the fore late on. Stelea again finds himself at the edge of the box for a corner, and the midfielder's header sends the ball towards the far post where Banijan star Kauso Dione is on hand to flick the side back into the lead with a calmly taken header. Three more points for Itzi, who will go top of the league for only two hours.

The next match to kick off this weekend is between the side conquered by Itzi last week - AC Izotz Zubia - and the side Itzi have just bumped off the top of the table - Cazadores Cathair.

AC Izotz Zubia Zozi
Soldaduak Eremuaberria, (Cap: 52180). Izotzazubia , Herradura

Domestic Honours - 14
COCANEFA Honours - 4
International Honours - 5
Squad
2. Leonardo Ceron (29, D C, AUD)
3. Larry Martinez (27, D L, NWK)
4. Tigran Deschapelles (29, M C, AUD)
5. Grigorij Savicevic (24, D C, MYT)
6. Michael Christie (27, D C, SCT)
7. Wilfried Baume (32, F C, VLD)
8. Lothaire Cromwell (26, M C, NPH)
9. Thomas Butler (21, M R, NWK)
10. Fergus Coren (23, F C, AUD)
11. Fortune Russell (27, M L, BRE)
12. Ferus (19, G , DAI)
13. Branadru (37, G , DAI)
15. Abarran Lizarraga (20, M/F RC, AUD)
16. Ixaka Echeberz (31, D R, ASG)
17. Domiku Bergara (30, DM C, ASG)
18. Jerquaad (28, D CR, DAI)
19. Eskuin Nekol (24, M L, ASG)
21. Atole Kaplan (21, D L, KOR)
23. Esro Sepúlveda (19, F C, AUD)
Mng. Ager Alaba (49, M C, ASG)

Alaba shore two star players from his side in pre-season, with long-time goalkeeper Gentle Breeze and home grown attacking midfielder Eurico da Rosa exchanged for their value in hard cash. The money has been invested back into the club via the youth system, which Alaba has been keen to upgrade since his arrival at a club more principally known for their expensive signings. Teenage Daineri goalkeeper Ferus was born a little too late to reap the benefits of that investment, but nevertheless doesn't seem to have had his development affected at all, slotting in seamlessly to the position vacated by Breeze.

Zozi, ten-time Audioslavian champions and one of two sides never to have been relegated from the top flight, are still favourites despite the lost talent, and go into the game with Caza needing all three points to mount a true fight for an eleventh title. Of these six clubs, at least one is expected to ace all of their last games. Every match is must-win from here on out.

Cazadores are reigning champions, and under the continued guidance of hairy alabaster cruiseliner Rook Cathar are mounting an assault on the title themselves, albeit one hampered by a 2-1 reversal at Laivana the previous week. The run of play continues to go against them, with a blocked clearance from Cacho falls to Thomas Butler who has time to take a touch before rifling a shot in at the near post with Juxon Filar wrong-footed.

The National League
Osarese Marcadia 2–3 Oljestaden IF
Union Cathair 2–3 KT Itzalovalle
AC Izotz Zubia 1–0 Cazadores Cathair
Laivana JPS 2–1 AS Marcadia
KT Moreazerua 0–0 Shamrock Cathair
Calcio Sicurezza Exiles 0–1 Sparta Zijweg
Bombarralense 2–0 Tenth Star Hasiera

The National League            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia               23   15   2   6    43   23  +20    47
 2 KT Itzalovalle               26   13   8   5    43   30  +13    47
 3 Shamrock Cathair             23   14   4   5    38   25  +13    46
 4 Cazadores Cathair            25   14   3   8    51   32  +19    45
--
 5 1830 Cathair                 23   14   3   6    41   22  +19    45
 6 KT Moreazerua                24   13   6   5    41   32   +9    45
 7 Oljestaden IF                27   10   6  11    47   43   +4    36
--
 8 Osarese Marcadia             23   11   2  10    35   36   −1    35
 9 Bombarralense                24   11   2  11    30   37   −7    35
10 Union Cathair                23    8   2  13    30   29   +1    26
11 Sparta Zijweg                23    6   6  11    22   37  −15    24
--
12 AS Marcadia                  24    6   4  14    26   41  −15    22
13 Calcio Sicurezza Exiles      24    3   8  13    25   39  −14    17
--
14 Laivana JPS                  23    5   2  16    24   47  −23    17
15 Tenth Star Hasiera           23    3   8  12    20   43  −23    17

It's a win that steals a march at the top of the table for Zozi. Itzi's win away to Union keeps their slim hopes alive with just six more points to play for, while Shamrock and Mozi's nil-all tie does neither side any favours, with Mozi at the foot of this sextet narrowly behind 1830 Cathair, who enjoyed a much needed rest day.

1830 Cathair The Teatimers / The Elders
Arena Kirola, (Cap: 77500). Cathair, Central

Domestic Honours - 14
COCANEFA Honours - 7
International Honours - 7
Squad
1. Goran Stroud (28, G , AUD)
2. Ross Okano (29, D C, KRY)
3. Minne van Schelven (28, D C, KOR)
4. Stani Gröss (28, DM C, ZRH)
5. Jack Menard (23, D C, EUR)
6. Brannigan Burley (24, M C, AUD)
7. Thea Squarciafichi (24, F C, SVG)
8. Erik Moselle (24, F C, STL)
9. Xaime Medal (26, AM L, TEQ)
10. Thorsten Kramer (30, M/AM C, STL)
11. Antoine Letexier (20, AM RCL, AUD)
12. Leona Rafford (35, DM/D CR, NPH)
13. Kuter (21, G , DAI)
14. Aymeric Fortin (29, F C, VLD)
15. Tryfon Vlahilades (29, D L, VDR)
17. Baillaire Fillar (19, AM C, CMT)
18. Grayson Fillar (20, D R, CMT)
19. Lázaro Patrón (19, M/F LC, AUD)
20. Alex Sharp (19, F C, EUR)
21. Anselm Koerner (26, M R, NPH)
23. Devlin Napier (30, D/M LC, KRY)
Mng. Jerome Jaffacake-Phillips (KRY)

6-2-6 at the halfway stage, Jerome Jaffacake-Phillips was given a very strict ultimatum: Win something by the end of the season, or your tea's oot. Expected to concentrate on the Kirola Cup or IFCF football, JJP has instead poured his resources into trying to storm his way up the table. Against all wisdom, the side managed to accomplish that feat, sitting on a 14-3-6 record before their four-week hiatus allowed the pack to swallow them again. With just five games to go, Cathair need to keep the pace, and smash three goals past a limited Oljestaden to move up to second in the table. Thorsten Kramer, the subject of some transfer speculation at the end of the previous season, is in fine fettle, laying on two goals - one for Squarciafichi, the other for Aymeric Fortin - and watching on as understudy Baillaire Fillar finished for number three in the final moments of the game.

Over on the east coast, Zozi's title tilt topples as they are defeated by an AS Marcadia side fighting valiantly to avoid the relegation playoffs. Cross city rivals Shamrock, too, are upended by a team at the bottom of the table, with Laivana securing yet another upset to move out of the bottom two for the first time since matchday ten.

The National League
Tenth Star Hasiera 3–2 Calcio Sicurezza Exiles
Sparta Zijweg 2–3 KT Moreazerua
Shamrock Cathair 1–2 Laivana JPS
AS Marcadia 3–2 AC Izotz Zubia
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 Union Cathair
KT Itzalovalle 4–1 Osarese Marcadia
Oljestaden IF 0–3 1830 Cathair

The National League         Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Itzalovalle               27   14   8   5    47   31  +16    50
 2 1830 Cathair                 24   15   3   6    44   22  +22    48
 3 Cazadores Cathair            26   15   3   8    52   32  +20    48
 4 KT Moreazerua                25   14   6   5    44   34  +10    48
 5 AC Izotz Zubia               24   15   2   7    45   26  +19    47
 6 Shamrock Cathair             24   14   4   6    39   27  +12    46
 7 Oljestaden IF                28   10   6  12    47   46   +1    36
 8 Osarese Marcadia             24   11   2  11    36   40   −4    35
 9 Bombarralense                24   11   2  11    30   37   −7    35
10 Union Cathair                24    8   2  14    30   30    0    26
11 AS Marcadia                  25    7   4  14    29   43  −14    25
12 Sparta Zijweg                24    6   6  12    24   40  −16    24
13 Laivana JPS                  24    6   2  16    26   48  −22    20
14 Tenth Star Hasiera           24    4   8  12    23   45  −22    20
15 Calcio Sicurezza Exiles      25    3   8  14    27   42  −15    17

Cries of 'we're gonna win the league' ring out around The Antzerkia as Itzi smash Osarese to move two points clear at the top of the table. Their final match of their campaign will come against 1830 Cathair. A win, and some choice results elsewhere, may ensure they stay in the title fight longer than anticipated, albeit watching it from the comfort of their living room sofa.

There's a raucous atmosphere at the Antzerkia for Friday's evening kick-off. Itzi, buoyed by the support, go a goal up within the first ten minutes via Dreigiau Parrish, and Kauso Dione's extention of the lead brings out the banners from the ultra's curve, with 'Real League Champions' and 'Stop The Count' unfurled, along with a number of overtly political separatist banners that the cameras try not to linger on. They are a little bit early. Thorsten Kramer breaks through to halve the deficit and almost sets up Erik Moselle for the equalizer, but for the Teus connection to only succeed in rattling the underside of the bar with Echepare Rospide's dive nowhere near the rocket shot.

Party mode continues in the second half, with former Zozi forward Eurico chipping over Stroud for 3-1. Cathair again close the gap, this time through Squarciafichi, but Claudio Vantula arrives at the edge of the box, sells Ross Okano a dummy and blasts a low shot into the corner for 4-2. The final whistle heralds the end of the campaign for Itzi, whose fans give them an enthusiastic round of applause. Everyone wearing Itzalovalle red will watch the rest of the season while on holiday, their fingers crossed for a minor miracle. Let's be real though: Despite their late season form and their status as league leaders, Itzi aren't winning the title.

Neither, of course, are Cazadores Cathair, two points behind with only one game to go. Champions Caza can overtake Itzi with a victory in their final game, but it's unlikely that 54 points will be enough for the title.

The National League         Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Itzalovalle               28   15   8   5    51   33  +18    53
 2 Cazadores Cathair            27   16   3   8    55   34  +21    51
 3 KT Moreazerua                26   15   6   5    48   34  +14    51

Mozi, four-nil winners over an almost-doomed Tenth Star, are there or thereabouts, but reaistically it's the sides in fourth to sixth place, halfway through matchday thirty-five, who hold the keys for the title. One of which is Cathair, who can still finish on a maximum of 57 points, the others are Shamrock and Zozi, who play one another on the Sunday.

Shamrock Cathair Shammers
Glass Bridge Stadium, (Cap: 31500). Cathair, Central

Domestic Honours - 4
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 1
Squad
1. Bombidillyo (34, G , DAI)
2. Daniel MacCowan (26, D CR, AUD)
3. Aron McKenna (26, D L, TJU)
4. Archer Flat (22, D C, AUD)
5. Ffibwd yTewgneoll (23, D C, KOR)
6. Finn Townsend (30, DM C, BRE)
7. Sho Itō (22, M/F R, SQR)
8. Corby Wheeler (31, M C, BRE)
9. Thor Møller (33, F C, VAL)
10. Colm O'Tuathail (29, M L, KSK)
11. Rosewing (30.5, F C, EQS)
12. Viðar Adriansson (31, D C, GRF)
13. Edith Fillar (16, M L, CMT)
14. Emilia Torgersen (19, AM C, VAL)
15. Archer Andrews (24, F C, TJU)
16. Oran Anders (18, D C, AUD)
18. Declan MacCowan (26, M C, AUD)
19. Fergus Sloan (28, M L, GRU)
20. Carmelo MacCowan (22, D/M LCR, AUD)
22. Thomas McFarland (25, G , AUD)
Mng. Alexander Crewe (37, F C, APX)

In an age of poor relations between Audioslavia and Valanora, one group of people with no ill will whatsoever towards the AO nation is Shamrock fans, for whom Thor Møller and Emilia Torgersen made triumphant returns at the start of the season. The Vanoran pairing, very much in the mood to, as usual, do their job to the best of their ability, form the backbone of a Shamrock side that still features the likes of Finn Townsend and Corby Wheeler in Audioslavian football's fiercest engine room. The returns of the two Vanorians felt like two new signings - as did the arrival of Archer Flat from a number of loan moves, with the weirdly-proportioned ginger centre half slotting immediately into the club's back line.

Shamrock, second last season, champions the year before, were expected to put up a more robust challenge than they have been doing, but their lack of involvement right at the top of the table can be put down to the rest of the league's top six very much narrowing the gap, not to mention the fact that they've played much of the season with games in hand.

Zozi break open the greens early, with Eskuin Nekol squeezing home a near-post finish from a drilled Kaplan cross, but Colm O'Tuathail's equalizer silences the home crowd and Sho Itō's go-ahead goal deep in first half injury time lulls them into a depression that is only lifted via a late penalty, with Wilfried Baume rescuing a point for the men in salmon and silver.

The National League
1830 Cathair 2–4 KT Itzalovalle
Osarese Marcadia 2–3 Cazadores Cathair
Union Cathair 3–2 AS Marcadia
AC Izotz Zubia 2–2 Shamrock Cathair
Laivana JPS 2–3 Sparta Zijweg
KT Moreazerua 4–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
Calcio Sicurezza Exiles 2–0 Bombarralense

The National League            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Itzalovalle               28   15   8   5    51   33  +18    53 - MAX: 53
 2 Cazadores Cathair            27   16   3   8    55   34  +21    51 - MAX: 54
 3 KT Moreazerua                26   15   6   5    48   34  +14    51 - MAX: 57
 4 1830 Cathair                 25   15   3   7    46   26  +20    48 - MAX: 57
 5 AC Izotz Zubia               25   15   3   7    47   28  +19    48 - MAX: 57
 6 Shamrock Cathair             25   14   5   6    41   29  +12    47 - MAX: 56
 7 Oljestaden IF                28   10   6  12    47   46   +1    36
 8 Osarese Marcadia             25   11   2  12    38   43   −5    35
 9 Bombarralense                25   11   2  12    30   39   −9    35
10 Union Cathair                25    9   2  14    33   32   +1    29
11 Sparta Zijweg                25    7   6  12    27   42  −15    27
12 AS Marcadia                  26    7   4  15    31   46  −15    25
13 Calcio Sicurezza Exiles      26    4   8  14    29   42  −13    20
14 Laivana JPS                  25    6   2  17    28   51  −23    20
15 Tenth Star Hasiera           25    4   8  13    23   49  −26    20

57 points is going to be the most any team can get right now, and that's only if your side can win all of your next games. As such, it's KT Moreazerua and 1830 Cathair, with the best goal difference, who assume the driving seat. Eyes turn to the fixture list, in which KT Moreazerua face Bomba and CC Exiles while 1830 Cathair have to face AS Marcadia either side of two Cathair derbies, the first of which comes on Matchday 36.

Cazadores Cathair Caza
El Ruedo, (Cap: 42500). Cathair, Central

Domestic Honours - 4
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 1
Squad
1. Juxon Fillar (25, G , CMT)
2. Guifré Menez (29, D/M R, AUD)
3. Per Frandsen (24, D RL, AUD)
4. Iago Cacho (30, DM C, AUD)
5. Salvador Monterroso (36, D C, AUD)
6. Inteali Koranjo (23, D C, VIL)
7. Creidne Lindauer (32, F C, BRE)
8. Adrian Toscani (25, AM C, SVG)
10. Cristian Benitez (23, AM C, VLD)
12. Aloha (28, F C, DAI)
13. Cristos Harding (22, D C, EFL)
14. Rasmus Caracole (28, M L, NPH)
17. Wilhelm Hielscher-Zendagorta (19, AM/F C, AUD/STL)
18. Zorion Santisteban (22, M LC, AUD)
19. Qaqilek (21, G , DAI)
20. Kepler Marcel Gouveia de Souza (18, AM C, QUE)
21. John McGraw (22, D/M LC, AUD)
22. Tutayan (33, AM R, TEQ)
27. Obadele Volonte (19, D C, AUD)
28. Claudio Casimiro (25, D C, AUD)
32. Tiago Brown (21, D/M R, AUD)
Mng. Rook Cathar (53, F LCR, NPH)

Champions Caza have an abundance of riches in terms of attacking midfielders but a dearth of mobile strikers under thirty (though Creidne Lindauer may kneecap you for assuming they can't still run around making a nuisance of themselves), and so Cathar has, in recent years, adopted a false-nine formation with Cristian Benitez, Adrian Toascani and/or Wilhelm Hielscher-Zendagorta up top. This season, the prodigal WH-Z has been given the job more often and the young gun has turned himself into an effective forward, with rumours of the striker being given the number 9 shirt next season.

The National League title has become a devilishly difficult one to retain, with only Cathair and Zozi managing to do so once apiece in the post-LigAnaia era. Caza have made as good an attempt as any team, but the sheer competitiveness of the top this season has made their job difficult.

At home to cross-capital rivals Cathair, they can't quite push themselves over the line. Both defences have occasionally sprung leaks this season, but both hold firm tonight as the competing midfields cancel one another out. The match finishes 0-0, and both teams' title hopes take a massive dent.

The National League
Bombarralense 1–1 KT Moreazerua
Tenth Star Hasiera 1–1 Laivana JPS
Sparta Zijweg 1–3 AC Izotz Zubia
Shamrock Cathair 1–0 Union Cathair
AS Marcadia 1–1 Osarese Marcadia
Cazadores Cathair 0–0 1830 Cathair

The National League            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Itzalovalle               28   15   8   5    51   33  +18    53 - MAX: 53
 2 Cazadores Cathair            28   16   4   8    55   34  +21    52 - MAX: 52
 3 KT Moreazerua                27   15   7   5    49   35  +14    52 - MAX: 55
 4 AC Izotz Zubia               26   16   3   7    50   29  +21    51 - MAX: 57
 5 Shamrock Cathair             26   15   5   6    42   29  +13    50 - MAX: 56
 6 1830 Cathair                 26   15   4   7    46   26  +20    49 - MAX: 55
 7 Oljestaden IF                28   10   6  12    47   46   +1    36
 8 Osarese Marcadia             26   11   3  12    39   44   −5    36
 9 Bombarralense                26   11   3  12    31   40   −9    36
10 Union Cathair                26    9   2  15    33   33    0    29
11 Sparta Zijweg                26    7   6  13    28   45  −17    27
12 AS Marcadia                  27    7   5  15    32   47  −15    26
13 Laivana JPS                  26    6   3  17    29   52  −23    21
14 Tenth Star Hasiera           26    4   9  13    24   50  −26    21
15 Calcio Sicurezza Exiles      26    4   8  14    29   42  −13    20

Shamrock's win in the other Cathair derby two days prior puts the green team into fifth place, while Zozi keep pace following Mozi's frustrating one-all draw with Bomba. With, at most, two games left to play, Itzalovalle somehow remain top of the table.

KT Moreazerua Mozi
Ibarretako Estadioa, (Cap: 40000). Moreazerua, Herradura

Domestic Honours - 2
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Maren Artetxebarria (29, G , AUD)
2. Adélaïde Garcia (27, D C, SVG)
3. Valentinos Giannakos (28, D C, VDR)
4. Ronan Stenhouse (27, DM C, EUR)
5. Marwyn Asterisk (30, D C, AUD)
6. Bartolomej Wladmirowić (33, D LC, ZRH)
7. Mbdiai Akarenaa (35, M RCL, TUR)
8. Koldo Bazterrika (25, M LC, AUD)
9. Koenraad Rijsbergen (28, F C, AUD)
10. Olentzaro Karazatorre (27, F C, ASG)
11. Dashmati (23, AM CL, DAI)
12. Syerra (19, M R, DAI)
15. Oran Coldcross (22, D C, AUD)
17. Zafarullah Hamdani (30, M C, AUD)
18. Imauka Lkomorak (20, M CR, VIL)
19. Trevor Paraoan (25, AM/F C, FHU)
20. Zakuty (27, F C, DAI)
43. Zebjan Istanjovich (45, G , SIC)
Mng. Morea Zozetua (34, M L, MRN)

KT Moreazerua's championship win in season two of The National League was the first time any team not named AC Izotz Zubia or 1830 Cathair had been crowned Champion of Audioslavia. Second, first and second place finishes over those first three seasons seemed to herald a new era for the club, but it never quite looked like sticking. Nevertheless, a side prone to yo-yoing through the divisions in the LigAnaia era had firmly planted themselves among the elite of the national game, and since then the side have only failed to qualify for UICA or IFCF football twice, during a particularly barren spell in seasons six and seven.

The selection of beloved player Morea Zozetua as player manager for the season raised a few eyebrows, but the winger-cum-manager has barely put a foot wrong all season. Mozi have occasionally topped the table and, though their chances of a league title are slim, they can at least put themselves at the division's summit in time for the final day.

Visitors CC Exiles were far from doomed at the start of the game, despite propping up the table, but after Laiva's 3-0 demolition of Bombarralense only a win will do for the east coast outfit. Mozi, however, are in no mood to help them out. The side's incoming Daineri wingers, Dashmati and Syerra, have been cutting swathes through opposition flanks throughout the season, and have been providing service to talismanic strikers Karaztorre and Rijsbergen all year. Today is no different, with Syerra planing a cross onto Rijsbergen's forehead and Dashmati jinking inside, squaring for Karazatorre and punching the air as the Astograthian striker thumps his side into a two-goal lead. Exiles's Elian Bra nets late on, but the fightback crashes futilely against Mozi's defences and the crowd roar at the final whistle. With one game to go, Mozi are atop the league. Their fingers are crossed. Only the football gods can help them now.

The National League
1830 Cathair 5–2 AS Marcadia
Osarese Marcadia 0–3 Shamrock Cathair
Union Cathair 0–3 Sparta Zijweg
AC Izotz Zubia 2–1 Tenth Star Hasiera
Laivana JPS 3–0 Bombarralense
KT Moreazerua 2–1 Calcio Sicurezza Exiles

The National League            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Moreazerua                28   16   7   5    51   36  +15    55
 2 AC Izotz Zubia               27   17   3   7    52   30  +22    54
 3 KT Itzalovalle               28   15   8   5    51   33  +18    53
 4 Shamrock Cathair             27   16   5   6    45   29  +16    53
 5 1830 Cathair                 27   16   4   7    51   28  +23    52
 6 Cazadores Cathair            28   16   4   8    55   34  +21    52
 7 Oljestaden IF                28   10   6  12    47   46   +1    36
 8 Osarese Marcadia             27   11   3  13    39   47   −8    36
 9 Bombarralense                27   11   3  13    31   43  −12    36
10 Sparta Zijweg                27    8   6  13    31   45  −14    30
11 Union Cathair                27    9   2  16    33   36   −3    29
12 AS Marcadia                  28    7   5  16    34   52  −18    26
13 Laivana JPS                  27    7   3  17    32   52  −20    24
14 Tenth Star Hasiera           27    4   9  14    25   52  −27    21
15 Calcio Sicurezza Exiles      27    4   8  15    30   44  −14    20

Zozi all but condemn Tenth Star Hasiera to second flight football again with a 2-1 win of their own to leapfrog Itzi into second place, while Cathair and Shamrock both keep the pressure up. For Caza, though, the season is over, and anything other than a heavy Cathair defeat on the final day will consign the reigning champions to a disappointing sixth place.

On the final day of the league season, Zozi travel to Bombarral to face a side desperate to propel themselves above the 36 point mark to guarantee themselves some kind of intercontinental football next season, and those of you paying attention will remember that, on this final Sunday, there's the little matter of an encounter between Shamrock Cathair and cross-capital rivals 1830 Cathair for a chance at the title. If Zozi don't win, a Shamrock win will give them the title by one point, or a Cathair win by as much of a goal difference as Zozi manage will give the Elders another championship. Oh, and if the Cathair clubs can only draw and Zozi lose, Mozi will take an unlikely title.

As far as final-day deciders go, Shamrock vs Cathair is up there with the famous Tale of Two Cathairs games go in terms of importance. On the field though, it's a different story. There's something about the capital clubs and dominant midfields, and so while Cathair can play a central unit of Brannigan Burley, Stani Gröss and Thorsten Kramer, flanked by wide-man Grayson Fillar and wide-boy Tryfon Vlahilades, Shamrock can counter with the likes of Finn Townsend, Corby Wheeler and Declan MacCowan with the attacking minds of Fergus Sloan and Sho Itō either side. It's Itō who provides the spark, cutting inside Jack Menard and curling an effort past Goran Stroud for one-nil in one of the winger's last acts of the game. He's immediately replaced by defensive midfielder Dec MacCowan, and Shamrock go about closing out the game.

It is, unfortunately, largely for nought. Ager Alaba, Zozi's magic manager, sets his side up to pop the Bomba, and Grigorij Savicevic's towering header puts his side into a lead that Bombarralense can't peg back. Eskuin Nekol comes off the bench and volleys his side into a two-nothing lead that they never look like giving up.

For the eleventh time in their history, AC Izotz Zubia are champions of Audioslavia.

The National League
Calcio Sicurezza Exiles 2–0 Laivana JPS
Bombarralense 0–2 AC Izotz Zubia
Tenth Star Hasiera 2–0 Union Cathair
Sparta Zijweg 2–0 Osarese Marcadia
Shamrock Cathair 1–0 1830 Cathair

The National League            Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia               28   18   3   7    54   30  +24    57 IFCF CL, CAFA LA
 2 Shamrock Cathair             28   17   5   6    46   29  +17    56 IFCF CL
 3 KT Moreazerua                28   16   7   5    51   36  +15    55 IFCF CL
 4 KT Itzalovalle               28   15   8   5    51   33  +18    53 IFCF CL, CAFA LA, CWC
 5 1830 Cathair                 28   16   4   8    51   29  +22    52 IFCF ChC
 6 Cazadores Cathair            28   16   4   8    55   34  +21    52 IFCF CL
 7 Oljestaden IF                28   10   6  12    47   46   +1    36 IFCF ChC
 8 Osarese Marcadia             28   11   3  14    39   49  −10    36 VCI
 9 Bombarralense                28   11   3  14    31   45  −14    36
10 Sparta Zijweg                28    9   6  13    33   45  −12    33
11 Union Cathair                28    9   2  17    33   38   −5    29
12 AS Marcadia                  28    7   5  16    34   52  −18    26 R. Playoff
13 Laivana JPS                  28    7   3  18    32   54  −22    24 R. Playoff
14 Tenth Star Hasiera           28    5   9  14    27   52  −25    24 Relegated
15 Calcio Sicurezza Exiles      28    5   8  15    32   44  −12    23 Relegated

At the bottom, the Exiles beat Laivana in their final game to narrow the gap between themselves and safety, albeit futilely, and the defeat doesn't provide enough of a goal difference swing for Tenth Star to save themselves, despite victory over Union on the final day. AS Marcadia had already resigned themselves to yet another playoff, while Oljestaden had long resigned themselves to losing out on the final Challengers' Cup spot but, despite being stuck on 36 points for an eternity, neither Bomba nor Osarese can overcome them.

1830 Cathair finish fifth again, and manager Jerome Jaffacake-Phillips is summarily fired. Caza would ordinarily join them on the competition, but the now former league champions add are victorious in the Champions League over favourites AFC Treason to add a gilded edge to a tough campaign.

At the top, it turns out Itzi had done enough to earn themselves Champions League football, in which tournament they'll be joined by Shamrock and Mozi, while Alaba's Zozi will jump straight into the group stage

National Two                   Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 CdF Celtade                  38   25   9   4    72   37  +35    84 Promoted
 2 KT Ferramendiak              38   20  10   8    65   38  +27    70 Promoted
 3 Excelsior Zijweg             38   18  10  10    58   44  +14    64 Playoff
 4 Lemmitania State FC          38   16  12  10    64   57   +7    60 Playoff
 5 Guerrilla Cathair            38   17   6  15    59   50   +9    57
 6 KT Koroatuz                  38   15  11  12    60   49  +11    56
 7 Tout-Puissant Hasiera        38   16   8  14    51   49   +2    56
 8 Ceilerden Rovers             38   15   9  14    60   51   +9    54
 9 Crossport Dynamo             38   13  13  12    53   56   −3    52
10 Fundición                    38   14  10  14    57   66   −9    52
11 Burdoc Ridge                 38   12  14  12    63   59   +4    50
12 Artiglieria                  38   15   5  18    53   59   −6    50
13 Eletti Valligiani            38   13  10  15    54   63   −9    49
14 Sobrevolante                 38   11  12  15    52   56   −4    45
15 Silexhera FC                 38   12   8  18    56   69  −13    44
16 Santa Margarida              38   10  13  15    39   50  −11    43
17 KT Laranjauzia               38   10  11  17    49   60  −11    41
18 Laranjeiras                  38   10  11  17    42   57  −15    41
19 Isle of Kjeligsted FC        38    9   9  20    41   58  −17    36
20 Iron Brewery                 38    9   9  20    41   61  −20    36

Playoffs
AS Marcadia 5–2 Lemmitania State FC
Laivana JPS 0–1 Excelsior Zijweg

AS Marcadia 1–2 Laivana JPS
Excelsior Zijweg 0–0 Lemmitania State FC

AS Marcadia 2–1 Excelsior Zijweg
Laivana JPS 4–1 Lemmitania State

Playoffs                   Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
Laivana JPS                  3    2   0   1    6     3    3   6
AS Marcadia                  3    2   0   1    8     5    3   6
--
Excelsior Zijweg             3    1   1   1    2     2    0   4
Lemmitania State FC          3    0   1   2    3     9   -6   1

Laivana overcome a setback against Excelsior to win the group, with surprise package Lemmitania State FC, a football club from outwith Audioslavia's borders after the recent boundary event, bringing up the rear. Marcadia, once again, survive the relegation playoffs and sneak themselves at least one more year of top flight football.

Round One
Clockwork FC 2–2 Guerrilla Cathair (2–3 AET)
Cerejeiras 0–2 Artiglieria
Sporting Clube Marinheiros 3–4 CF Herradores
CdFS Ilheiros 2–0 Laranjeiras
KT Koroatuz 0–0 Lemmitania State FC (0–1 AET)
Valão 0–2 Sobrevolante
Shamrock Cathair 1–1 Burdoc Ridge (3–1 AET)
Viking Halehavn 0–4 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
Silexhera FC 2–3 KT Itzalovalle
Ceilerden Rovers 2–1 Reina Del Sud
CF Cruceros 0–2 Calcio Sicurezza Exiles
Valens AV 3–2 Union Cathair
Kitherwell 0–0 Huiszwalluw FC (0–1 AET)
Crossport Dynamo 1–4 Iron Brewery
AS Marcadia 5–1 Ceilerden Harp
CdF Celtade 1–3 Vidrieros
Laivana JPS 2–0 C.D. Portobranco
DDM Dunas Secas 0–5 Cazadores Cathair
KT Laranjauzia 3–0 KT Kanpoldelko
Eletti Valligiani 0–1 Crossport Mariners
KT Ferratzaileak 2–1 Maccabi Hasiera
Fundición 2–1 KT Ferramendiak
Hibernação 0–2 1830 Cathair
AC Izotz Zubia 2–2 KT Moreazerua (3–2 AET)
Excelsior Zijweg 0–1 Orquideas
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 0–0 Sporting Clube de São Jeremías (2–1 AET)
Alistoun Academicals 2–2 Santa Margarida (2–3 AET)
Osarese Marcadia 3–1 Uniao Tortuguita
Frecce 2–2 Necromarinai (2–2 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Sparta Zijweg 1–2 Bombarralense
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–2 Oljestaden IF
2130 Calolziolungho 3–4 The Oran

Round Two
Iron Brewery 1–2 Santa Margarida
Fundición 3–2 Frecce
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 3–3 Lemmitania State FC (3–3 AET) (4–5 pen.)
KT Ferratzaileak 2–0 Valens AV
CdF Celtade 2–2 Laivana JPS (2–2 AET) (4–5 pen.)
Cazadores Cathair 3–2 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Orquideas 0–1 Osarese Marcadia
1830 Cathair 6–1 The Oran
Calcio Sicurezza Exiles 2–3 Crossport Mariners
KT Itzalovalle 3–1 KT Laranjauzia
Bombarralense 0–1 Artiglieria
CF Herradores 1–1 Ceilerden Rovers (3–2 AET)
Guerrilla Cathair 2–0 AS Marcadia
CdFS Ilheiros 2–5 Oljestaden IF
Huiszwalluw FC 1–1 Shamrock Cathair (1–2 AET)
AC Izotz Zubia 3–0 Sobrevolante

Round Three
Shamrock Cathair 3–2 Guerrilla Cathair
Oljestaden IF 2–0 Santa Margarida
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 Artiglieria
Fundición 2–3 Lemmitania State FC
AC Izotz Zubia 3–1 CF Herradores
Osarese Marcadia 3–1 Crossport Mariners
KT Itzalovalle 3–0 KT Ferratzaileak
1830 Cathair 0–0 Laivana JPS (1–0 AET)

Quarter Finals
1830 Cathair 2–4 KT Itzalovalle
Oljestaden IF 1–2 AC Izotz Zubia
Cazadores Cathair 4–0 Lemmitania State FC
Shamrock Cathair 0–1 Osarese Marcadia

Semi Finals
Cazadores Cathair 3–0 Osarese Marcadia
KT Itzalovalle 3–0 AC Izotz Zubia

Final
Kirola Cup
Cazadores Cathair 1–2 KT Itzalovalle

Caza have an easy route to the final, but can't overcome an Itzi side eager for more than just a taste of silverware. Twenty-five seasons on from their only other trophy, they finally get to double their trophy cabinet with a hard earned win. In his first season in management in Audioslavian football, Daniel Bernard has done what he'd set out to, and won a trophy for his side. From here, Itzi may be able to go onto greater and greater things.

Goals: Dione (16, Itzalovalle), Vantula (55, Itzalovalle), Toscani (81, Cazadores)

by **Audioslavia** » Wed Dec 22, 2021 8:10 am

Review of Season 17

Union Cathair The Misfits
Shepworth Racecourse Ground, (Cap: 7500). Cathair, Central

Domestic Honours - 1
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Paxton Keenan (37, G , AUD)
2. Hereld Jansen (30, D R, AUD)
5. Anders Jonassen (33, D C, AUD)
6. Anargyos Zervaes (23, D C, VDR)
7. Khabib IIyev (32, M R, USR)
8. Ronan Fallon (33, DM C, BRE)
9. Luca Senna (32, F C, AUD)
10. Hjalmar Boisen (28, M/F C, AUD)
12. Labinot Ruscoe (28, F C, NPH)
13. Hardcheese (39, G , DAI)
14. Callum MacKaye (32, AM C, AUD)
15. Errapel Zalacain (28, D/M C, AUD)
16. Julio MacEwan (30, D C, AUD)
17. Luke Rose (27, M/F R, AUD)
18. Raiden McLean (28, M LC, AUD)
19. Saint Legalese (27, D/M LC, AUD)
21. Joan Soler (29, M CR, AUD)
Mng. Bastijn Fokke-Rommedahl (72, D R, AUD)

Compared to Celtade, 'aging' manager Bastion Fokke-Rommedahl had a talented squad at his disposal, but with money - already scarce at socialist Union Cathair - absolutely dry this season, much-needed changes to the squad were simply not possible, and Fokke-Rommedahl simply found himself without a real game plan.

Union, bottom with four matches to go, rallied with a win and three draws over their final games, but were made to wait as the rest of the league finished up their own seasons, and were officially relegated on matchday thirty-five with AS Marcadia's defeat of Sparta Zijweg.

Sannyamathland's Khabib Ilyev showed traces of ability on the wing, but injuries affected the midfielder's season, and while his comeback coincided with a slight upturn in fortunes for the club, it was too little too late and the winger simply didn't quite have what it takes at this level. Up front, Labinet Ruscoe was short of service and, eventually, short of patience, with Ronan Fallon cutting an increasingly disillusioned figure in midfield as his side failed to gel around him. Striker Luca Senna's form has dropped off entirely, with the Audioslavian striker dropped for large periods of the season. Hjalmar Boisen, another attacker who once showed great promise, was largely anonymous as his replacement. If Union are to come back up to the top division, wholesale changes are required.

AS Marcadia I Marchetti
Stadio di Via Montegrappa, (Cap: 23500). Marcadia, Padia

Domestic Honours - 1
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Fortune Cammers (25, G , EFL)
2. Giacomo Durán (22, D R, AUD)
3. Amarzi George (29, D L, MRC)
4. Lance Bensom (28, D C, BRE)
5. Antonio Dragutin (29, D C, MRC)
6. Matteo Ercolani (26, D/M LC, AUD)
7. Simos Arvanitakis (25, AM RL, FHU)
8. Gabriel Buvalelli (22, M C, SVG)
9. Menderchuk (36, F C, DAI)
10. Aranha (35, F C, DAI)
11. Javier Besoitagoena (34, M C, AUD)
12. Commodore Pumphrey (22, G , AUD)
13. Ion Berriex (31, M/F R, AUD)
15. Casarno Anonno (32, AM C, AUD)
16. Edorta Mondragon (29, D C, AUD)
17. Giacomo Rossi (22, F C, AUD)
18. Mattia Cicale (32, M C, AUD)
19. Grigori Caraveo (24, M C, AUD)
20. Theo Reinders (34, F C, AUD)
21. Edoardo Del Conte (30, M C, AUD)
24. Antonio Bonacci (20, D/M R, AUD)
Mng. Alessandro Juliana (42, M CR, AUD)

Alessandro Juliana can't keep working miracles at AS Marcadia. The side's owners keep the purse strings tight and Juliana is tasked, season after season, with keeping the side in the division. Each year, they are forced to battle for their right to remain in the National League via the gruelling three-game Promotion Playoffs, and although Juliana's Marcadia have always been strong there, they surely can't keep riding their luck.

Gabriel Buvalelli must be on his way to a stronger club at some point soon - his loyalty to his beleaguered manager is inspiring, but perhaps mis-placed as he toils to provide service for the likes of Menderchuk and Aranha, who are two of the least reliable strikers you could hope to ask for - either red hot or ridiculous, with little in between.

In defence, Lance Benson struggled to hold the gates closed, with Marcadia spending the entirety of the second half of the season in the bottom four. The side finished the season with the second most goals conceded, despite the efforts of himself, Antonio Dragutin and talented goalkeeper Fortune Cammers. The only team to concede more were the team with perhaps the most disappointing season of all.

Oljestaden IF Olga
Hygolje Arena, (Cap: 50000). Oljestaden, Hyland

Domestic Honours - 3
COCANEFA Honours - 1
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Donato Castillo (29, G , EFL)
2. Maas Hadler (37, D C, MRN)
3. Yon Maurtua (23, D L, ISK)
4. Thorian Nielsen (28, DM C, AUD)
5. Da Chong (25, D C, JOV)
6. Pelle Juergensen (32, D/M R, AUD)
7. Bastiaan Makaay (30, M CR, AUD)
8. Torvald Ebben (31, M C, SRS)
9. Kasperi Otalainen (35, F C, SVJ)
10. Bertus Verschoor (27, F C, AUD)
11. Christiaan Kracht (24, D/M LC, AUD)
12. Ivan Sandiev (24, F LC, USR)
13. Vikingen (21, G , DAI)
15. Mauithay (29, M C, DAI)
16. Helge Persson (29, D C, GRF)
17. Jensen Ostergard (21, DM C, AUD)
20. Numbers Guégan (29, D/M CL, AUD)
22. Maxi Lundgren (38, G , NPH)
23. Ysaak (29, D CR, DAI)
91. Cocoabo #91 (??, F CR, COF)
Mng. Tomas Kristofics (47, DM C, PIS)

Challengers Cup qualifiers last season, The Oilers haven't had to put up with the embarrassment of a relegation dog-fight since their demotion in the very first season of The National League, yet here we are. Olga, like Celtade, were bottom on just two wins with eleven matches to go in the season, albeit having played fewer games. The side went on to take five points from their next five games, with a win and two draws, before defeating KT Ferramendiak and AS Marcadia on matchdays 34 and 35 to clear themselves of the danger of imminent relegation.

The change in fortunes came with the decision to put young Daineri goalkeeper Vikingen into the net for a few weeks, with the beloved youngster quickly impressing, and the reinstatement of Kasperi Otaleinen to the starting line-up in what may be the Savojar's final season turned out to be a master-stroke from Tomas Kristofics. Iskandervale's Yon Maurtua is a marauding full-back that created some great attacking threats for the likes of Cocoabo 91 and Ivan Sandiev, but when the chips are down - which they often were this season - he's far too slow in getting back, and the likes of Da Chong and Christiaan Kracht are barely capable of keeping things afloat when the counter-attacks come - which in Audioslavia is pretty often. In the centre of defence, Maas Hadler and Helge Persson are occasionally solid, but all too often are bystanders when the bigger teams come calling at Hygolje Arena. Oljestaden consider themselves a 'big' team, often pointing to their record four domestic cup trophies, but this season they fully deserve the dogfight of the Pro/Rel Playoff.

by **Audioslavia** » Wed Dec 22, 2021 8:41 pm

KT Moreazerua Mozi
Ibarretako Estadioa, (Cap: 40000). Moreazerua, Herradura

Domestic Honours - 2
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Maren Artetxebarria (31, G , AUD)
2. Adélaïde Garcia (28, D C, SVG)
3. Valentinos Giannakos (29, D C, VDR)
4. Ronan Stenhouse (28, DM C, EUR)
5. Marwyn Asterisk (32, D C, AUD)
6. Bartolomej Wladmirowić (34, D LC, ZRH)
7. Mbdiai Akarenaa (36, M RCL, TUR)
8. Koldo Bazterrika (27, M LC, AUD)
9. Koenraad Rijsbergen (30, F C, AUD)
10. Olentzaro Karazatorre (28, F C, ASG)
11. Dashmati (24, AM CL, DAI)
12. Syerra (20, M R, DAI)
15. Oran Coldcross (24, D C, AUD)
17. Zafarullah Hamdani (32, M C, AUD)
18. Imauka Lkomorak (21, M CR, VIL)
19. Trevor Paraoan (26, AM/F C, FHU)
20. Zakuty (28, F C, DAI)
21. Ximen Errandonea (14, M R, AUD)
Mng. Morea Zozetua (35, M L, MRN)

Having finished fifth, fourth and third over the last three seasons, Moreazerua's sixth-placed finish in season seventeen is a disappointment, but that doesn't tell the full story. Boasting a frontline of Karzatorre and Rijsbergen that would be the envy of most clubs in the multiverse - not to mention the likes of Lkomorak, Stenhouse and Akarenaa in the supply-line, manager More Zozetua's men finished a whopping fifteen points behind fifth and fourth place, and with it that Champions' Cup place the club need in order to continue to kick on. Only a fightback over the side's final four games propelled Mozi into even the Challenger's Cup places, lying a lowly eleventh on matchday thirty-three.

It had all started so promisingly too, with an opening day victory over regional rivals KT Itzalovalle via Koldo Bazterrika's seventh minute volley. At the time, a fanbase expecting a title tilt can't have imagined not only that they wouldn't win again until matchday eleven, but that the win would be one of only three against all the other top-six teams all season. The other two, strangely enough, would be against Champions Cup winners Cazadores Cathairs via a pair of one-nothing victories on Matchday 30 and that very Matchday Eleven encounter that saw Mozi pick up win number two.

Manager Zozetua has ridden his ever-lasting popularity at Mozi to the end of the season, but the general belief is that he may be removed from his position in pre-season. The top of the National League is as competitive as it gets in football, and there has to be a price for failure to compete when its expected of you.

1830 Cathair The Teatimers / The Elders
Arena Kirola, (Cap: 77500). Cathair, Central

Domestic Honours - 14
COCANEFA Honours - 7
International Honours - 7
Squad
1. Goran Stroud (30, G , AUD)
2. Ross Okano (31, D C, KRY)
3. Minne van Schelven (29, D C, KOR)
4. Stani Gröss (29, DM C, ZRH)
5. Jack Menard (24, D C, EUR)
6. Brannigan Burley (26, M C, AUD)
7. Thea Squarciafichi (25, F C, SVG)
8. Erik Moselle (25, F C, STL)
9. Xaime Medal (27, AM L, TEQ)
10. Baillaire Fillar (20, AM C, CMT)
11. Antoine Letexier (22, AM RCL, AUD)
12. Leona Rafford (36, DM/D CR, NPH)
13. Kuter (22, G , DAI)
14. Aymeric Fortin (30, F C, VLD)
15. Tryfon Vlahilades (30, D L, VDR)
18. Grayson Fillar (21, D R, CMT)
19. Lázaro Patrón (21, M/F LC, AUD)
20. Alex Sharp (20, F C, EUR)
21. Anselm Koerner (27, M R, NPH)
23. Devlin Napier (32, D/M LC, KRY)
25. Rivelino Bomba (19, M LC, AUD)
Mng. Gareth Blackthorn (53, EUR)

Jaffacake-Phillips was relieved of his duties for finishing outside of the Champions Cup places two seasons running - unthinkable for a side as massive as 1830 Cathair, by far the most successful side in the history of Audioslavian football. When Gareth Blackthorn took over, he was expected to put his side back into the top four at the very least, if not push for another title win.

And so what happened?

In truth, their season was over by the half-way stage. Five defeats in fourteen games - including home losses to rivals Shamrock and Cazadores and a 3-0 shellacking by AC Izotz Zubia in the Derby of Audioslavia, added to defeats at the hands of both Ferramendiak clubs in the early season, saw the side fifth at the half-way stage and eight points shy of fourth with just six games to go, wherein the side lost again to Cazadores. It was at this point that the tide turned, with Blackthorn's men winning each of their final six games - with the exception of a tie with Shamrock - to narrow the gap to zero points, with goal difference separating Cathair from the side in fourth. Another season of Challengers' Cup football looms.

Blackthorn isn't to blame for Cathair's troubles. 20 year-old Baillaire Fillar has had to inherit Thorsten Kramer's vacated number ten shirt, and while the young Chromatik has acquitted herself well, Kramer is simply a player that can't be replaced with just one human. Around Fillar, who finished as joint top-scorer for Cathair alongside Thea Squarciafichi, the likes of Jaime Medal, Brannigan Burley and Antoine Letexier haven't been performing, and the weight of expectation has proven just too heavy to be shared around those few players who have managed to maintain their form throughout the season. America Fortin flitted in and out of the side, as did Alex Sharp who is still finding his feet at this level after two seasons spent out on loan. It's clear to outsiders that standards have been allowed to drop, and it's yet to be seen whether or not the side's late-season form is a permanent return to form or just a rare purple patch. Cathair, long the preferred side of fair-weather fans, have begun to suffer from less-than-full crowds at the Arena Kirola. Only the on-line trolls are happy.

Cazadores Cathair Caza
El Ruedo, (Cap: 42500). Cathair, Central

Domestic Honours - 4
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 1
Squad
1. Juxon Fillar (26, G , CMT)
2. Per Frandsen (26, D RL, AUD)
3. Harmon Mulvahill (22, D L, KOR)
4. Iago Cacho (32, DM C, AUD)
5. Obadele Volonte (21, D C, AUD)
6. Inteali Koranjo (24, D C, VIL)
7. Creidne Lindauer (33, F C, BRE)
8. Adrian Toscani (26, AM C, SVG)
10. Cristian Benitez (24, AM C, VLD)
12. Aloha (29, F C, DAI)
13. Cristos Harding (23, D C, EFL)
14. Rasmus Caracole (29, M L, NPH)
17. Wilhelm Hielscher-Zendagorta (20, AM/F C, AUD/STL)
18. Zorion Santisteban (24, M LC, AUD)
19. Qaqilek (22, G , DAI)
20. Kepler Marcel Gouveia de Souza (19, AM C, QUE)
21. John McGraw (24, D/M LC, AUD)
22. Tutayan (34, AM R, TEQ)
28. Claudio Casimiro (27, D C, AUD)
32. Tiago Brown (23, D/M R, AUD)
Mng. Rook Cathar (54, F LCR, NPH)

Rook Cathar's men finished their season with a 6-1 away win over doomed Celtade to put them three points clear of KT Itzalovalle in third, and only a win away from table-topping Shamrock. Unfortunately for Cazadores, while they had played their final game of the season, those around them still had three games to go each, including a fifth-placed 1830 Cathair side in the middle of a run of wins. Caza, sitting on 53 points, would be leapfrogged and sent down into fourth position where, thanks to Shamrock's final-day draw with Cathair, they would stay. Not that it mattered: After the dust had settled, and with a long rest at the end of the season, the side progressed to the final of - and then won - their second Champions Cup title, giving the team an automatic berth in the group stage of next season's CC.

Always there or thereabouts, if mainly for having played more games than the teams around them, Caza became outside bets for the title during a tumultuous mid-season run where they lost on the bounce to rivals Shamrock and mid-table Bombarralense, drew nil-all with struggling Osarese and lost the aforementioned game to Moreazerua. They were seemingly in sight of first, but only through having played two, three or even four games more than their title rivals.

For the fans, however, this strong yet unnoteworthy league campaign will be forgotten. The side, somehow, are champions of the world for a second time: It is they, and not Cathair nor Zozi, who are the most successful team in the history of the multiverse's most prestigious competition.

Player of the season for Caza was a toss-up between half-Audioslavian Teus international Hielscher-Zendagorta, rumoured to be bound for Teussen Stelburg at some point, and beloved number eight Adrian Toscani, who has enjoyed his most productive season at the club. In defence, the dynamic duo of Koranjo and Volonte shipped only fourteen goals all season, with Chromatik human-octopus Juxon Fillar winning the award for 'Cathair's best Fillar' which we just made up. Elsewhere, Tiago Brown continues to be an attacking threat from full-back, while John McGraw has emerged as a defensive-minded full-back to cover for the marauding number 32.

The National League          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 KT Itzalovalle             28   18   5   5    44   22  +22    59 CC, CAFA LA
 2 AC Izotz Zubia             28   17   7   4    58   23  +35    58 CC
 3 Shamrock Cathair           28   16  10   2    55   22  +33    58 CC
 4 Cazadores Cathair          28   15   8   5    38   14  +24    53 CC
 5 1830 Cathair               28   16   5   7    38   25  +13    53 ChC
 6 KT Moreazerua              28   10   8  10    30   27   +3    38 ChC
 7 Sparta Zijweg              28    9  10   9    29   30   −1    37 ChC
 8 Laivana JPS                28    9   9  10    24   34  −10    36 VCIAPP
 9 KT Ferramendiak            28   10   5  13    29   44  −15    35
10 Bombarralense              28    9   7  12    24   35  −11    34
11 Osarese Marcadia           28    9   5  14    27   32   −5    32
12 Oljestaden IF              28    7   6  15    24   48  −24    27 Relegation Playoff
13 AS Marcadia                28    5   6  17    30   47  −17    21 Relegation Playoff
14 Union Cathair              28    4   8  16    19   41  −22    20 Relegated
15 CdF Celtade                28    2   9  17    18   43  −25    15 Relegated

National Two              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      38   21   9   8    54   36  +18    72 Promoted
 2 Tenth Star Hasiera         38   19  10   9    52   29  +23    67 Promoted
 3 Lemmitania State FC        38   18   7  13    45   33  +12    61 Promotion Playoff
 4 Crossport Dynamo           38   17  10  11    42   35   +7    61 Promotion Playoff
 5 Burdoc Ridge               38   16  12  10    39   32   +7    60
 6 Eletti Valligiani          38   17   8  13    44   34  +10    59
 7 CC Exiles                  38   16  10  12    46   39   +7    58
 8 Santa Margarida            38   13  15  10    41   33   +8    54
 9 Necromarinai               38   14  12  12    35   33   +2    54
10 Artiglieria                38   14  11  13    41   37   +4    53
11 Guerrilla Cathair          38   15   7  16    33   38   −5    52
12 Silexhera FC               38   13  13  12    32   37   −5    52
13 Crossport Mariners         38   13  12  13    36   39   −3    51
14 Ceilerden Rovers           38   13   7  18    32   41   −9    46
15 Excelsior Zijweg           38   11  12  15    33   36   −3    45
16 KT Koroatuz                38   12   8  18    35   55  −20    44
17 Fundición                  38   10  13  15    30   43  −13    43 Relegated
18 Orquideas                  38   10   9  19    34   43   −9    39 Relegated
19 Ceilerden Harp             38   10   4  24    23   37  −14    34 Relegated
20 Sobrevolante               38    7  13  18    35   52  −17    34 Relegated

Kirola Cup Preliminary Round
Ross Railway 3–0 Maccabi Hasiera
Valens AV 1–0 Kitherwell
Albakirk Athletic 0–1 KT Kanpoldelko
CF Herradores 1–0 KT Ferratzaileak
Valderantia United 1–1 Uniao Tortuguita (1–1 AET) (3–2 pen.)
Glesca Rebels 3–2 Leftfield Steelworks
Edina City 0–0 Burnfax Trinity (0–0 AET) (7–8 pen.)
Huiszwalluw FC 1–3 Reina Del Sud
Viking Hryggur 0–2 Clockwork FC
Sporting Clube de São Jeremías 0–0 Deportivo de Puerta Cruz (1–1 AET) (3–2 pen.)
Frecce 3–0 CF Cruceros
Valão 2–2 Leftfield United (2–2 AET) (2–4 pen.)
2130 Calolziolungho 1–0 Leftfield Owls
Calcio Lecho 1–0 Cerejeiras
Viking Halehavn 0–1 CF Daineri
Ross Rovers 2–1 Garden City FC
Glesca Royals 1–0 Lawport FC
Vidrieros 0–0 DDM Dunas Secas (0–1 AET)

Kirola Cup First Round
Tenth Star Hasiera 1–0 Union Cathair
Necromarinai 1–0 CdF Celtade
Valens AV 0–4 Glesca Royals
Oljestaden IF 1–2 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
Fundición 2–1 CF Daineri
KT Ferramendiak 2–1 Guerrilla Cathair
Corações 1–0 Alistoun Academicals
CF Herradores 3–0 Glesca Rebels
Leftfield United 0–1 Shamrock Cathair
Calcio Lecho 0–1 Sporting Clube Marinheiros
Ross Railway 0–1 DDM Dunas Secas
Lemmitania State FC 0–1 KT Koroatuz
Frecce 0–2 2130 Calolziolungho
KT Laranjauzia 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
The Oran 0–1 Ceilerden Harp
Reina Del Sud 1–0 Orquideas
Burnfax Trinity 1–4 Osarese Marcadia
Crossport Dynamo 0–0 Iron Brewery (0–0 AET) (4–5 pen.)
Sporting Clube de São Jeremías 0–2 Cazadores Cathair
Ross Rovers 0–2 1830 Cathair
Burdoc Ridge 0–1 Hibernação
KT Kanpoldelko 2–0 Laranjeiras
Clockwork FC 0–3 KT Moreazerua
Excelsior Zijweg 1–0 Artiglieria
Crossport Mariners 0–2 Eletti Valligiani
Sparta Zijweg 1–2 AS Marcadia
Santa Margarida 2–2 Laivana JPS (2–3 AET)
Sobrevolante 0–2 Bombarralense
C.D. Portobranco 2–0 Valderantia United
Silexhera FC 3–2 Ceilerden Rovers
AC Izotz Zubia 1–0 CC Exiles
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 3–1 CdFS Ilheiros

Kirola Cup Second Round
CF Herradores 0–3 KT Ferramendiak
Necromarinai 3–1 Bombarralense
KT Koroatuz 3–5 KT Itzalovalle
Shamrock Cathair 2–1 C.D. Portobranco
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 3–7 AC Izotz Zubia
AS Marcadia 4–2 Iron Brewery
Hibernação 0–1 Laivana JPS
1830 Cathair 3–0 Sporting Clube Marinheiros
Glesca Royals 0–2 2130 Calolziolungho
Ceilerden Harp 0–0 Silexhera FC (0–0 AET) (4–2 pen.)
DDM Dunas Secas 0–3 Osarese Marcadia
Reina Del Sud 0–2 Tenth Star Hasiera
Isle of Kjeligsted FC 0–1 Excelsior Zijweg
Eletti Valligiani 0–2 Fundición
KT Moreazerua 1–1 Cazadores Cathair (1–1 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Corações 1–1 KT Kanpoldelko (2–1 AET)

Kirola Cup Third Round
Laivana JPS 0–1 1830 Cathair
Ceilerden Harp 3–1 Fundición
AC Izotz Zubia 2–0 Necromarinai
Tenth Star Hasiera 2–1 Corações
KT Itzalovalle 3–1 AS Marcadia
KT Moreazerua 0–0 KT Ferramendiak (1–0 AET)
Excelsior Zijweg 0–3 Shamrock Cathair
2130 Calolziolungho 0–2 Osarese Marcadia

Kirola Cup Quarter Finals
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 Osarese Marcadia
AC Izotz Zubia 4–1 Tenth Star Hasiera
1830 Cathair 6–1 Ceilerden Harp
Shamrock Cathair 0–0 KT Moreazerua (0–1 AET)

Kirola Cup Semi Finals
AC Izotz Zubia 1–0 Osarese Marcadia
1830 Cathair 1–1 KT Moreazerua (1–1 AET) (5–4 pen.)

Kirola Cup
AC Izotz Zubia 0–0 1830 Cathair (0–0 AET) (1–3 pen.)

After another disastrous league season, 1830 Cathair fans are placated, to some extend by a victory in the most anticlimactic of finals. The two sides, by far and away the most successful in Audioslavian football history, play out a drab nil-all draw before Cathair walk a shoot-out victory, with Nekol, Coren and Butler failing from the spot for the men in salmon and silver. Blackthorn gets silverware in his first season, while Zozi fans are placated with victory in the Cup Winners Cup the following week.

by **Audioslavia** » Thu Mar 03, 2022 3:24 pm

Season 18

FFA Announces Post-Season League Restructuring

After ten seasons of operating as a fifteen-team league, with a twenty-team second division, the National League will be restructured after the coming season. Replacing the current 15/20 structure will be a 13/18 system, with one automatic relegation, one automatic promotion and the current four-team pro/rel playoff comprised of the next two worst teams in the first division and the next best pair of the second division.

For this season, the bottom four teams will be removed from the National League, replaced by the champions and runners-up of the second flight. There will be no pro/rel playoff.

The news has alarmed a number of the smaller teams in the National League, and at the halfway stage it’s looking like any four from the following six will be plummeting down into the second flight.

[box]Matchday 1
National League
KT Moreazerua 0–3 AC Izotz Zubia
Osarese Marcadia 2–0 AS Marcadia
Laivana JPS 0–1 Sparta Zijweg
1830 Cathair 1–0 Bombarralense
Shamrock Cathair 0–1 KT Ferramendiak

Matchday 2
National League
Bombarralense 3–1 Shamrock Cathair
Sparta Zijweg 1–4 1830 Cathair
AS Marcadia 2–1 Laivana JPS
AC Izotz Zubia 0–1 Osarese Marcadia
KT Itzalovalle 0–3 Cazadores Cathair

Matchday 3
National League
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 2–2 KT Itzalovalle
Laivana JPS 1–2 AC Izotz Zubia
1830 Cathair 2–1 AS Marcadia
Shamrock Cathair 4–0 Sparta Zijweg
KT Ferramendiak 2–1 Bombarralense

Matchday 4
National League
Sparta Zijweg 2–3 KT Ferramendiak
AS Marcadia 0–2 Shamrock Cathair
AC Izotz Zubia 2–1 1830 Cathair
KT Itzalovalle 4–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
Cazadores Cathair 4–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera

Matchday 5
National League
Tenth Star Hasiera 2–8 Cazadores Cathair
Oljestaden IF 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
Shamrock Cathair 0–1 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Ferramendiak 0–1 AS Marcadia
Bombarralense 1–0 Sparta Zijweg

Matchday 6
National League
AS Marcadia 0–1 Bombarralense
AC Izotz Zubia 2–0 KT Ferramendiak
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 KT Moreazerua
Cazadores Cathair 3–0 Oljestaden IF
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–2 Tenth Star Hasiera

Matchday 7
National League
Oljestaden IF 2–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
KT Moreazerua 2–0 Cazadores Cathair
Osarese Marcadia 1–1 KT Itzalovalle
Bombarralense 1–1 AC Izotz Zubia
Sparta Zijweg 1–2 AS Marcadia

Matchday 8
National League
AC Izotz Zubia 3–0 Sparta Zijweg
KT Itzalovalle 1–1 Laivana JPS
Cazadores Cathair 1–1 Osarese Marcadia
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–3 KT Moreazerua
Tenth Star Hasiera 1–1 Oljestaden IF

Matchday 9
National League
KT Moreazerua 1–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
Osarese Marcadia 1–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Laivana JPS 3–1 Cazadores Cathair
1830 Cathair 0–0 KT Itzalovalle
AS Marcadia 0–1 AC Izotz Zubia

Matchday 10
National League
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 Shamrock Cathair
Cazadores Cathair 2–2 1830 Cathair
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 4–0 Laivana JPS
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–1 Osarese Marcadia
Oljestaden IF 0–1 KT Moreazerua

Matchday 11
National League
Osarese Marcadia 1–0 Oljestaden IF
Laivana JPS 1–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
1830 Cathair 3–1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Shamrock Cathair 0–2 Cazadores Cathair
KT Ferramendiak 0–0 KT Itzalovalle

Matchday 12
National League
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 Bombarralense
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 KT Ferramendiak
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–0 Shamrock Cathair
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–0 1830 Cathair
Oljestaden IF 1–0 Laivana JPS
KT Moreazerua 1–0 Osarese Marcadia

Matchday 13
National League
Laivana JPS 3–0 KT Moreazerua
1830 Cathair 2–0 Oljestaden IF
Shamrock Cathair 1–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
KT Ferramendiak 0–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Bombarralense 1–1 Cazadores Cathair
Sparta Zijweg 2–2 KT Itzalovalle

Matchday 14
National League
KT Itzalovalle 4–1 AS Marcadia
Cazadores Cathair 3–0 Sparta Zijweg
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–2 Bombarralense
Tenth Star Hasiera 1–0 KT Ferramendiak
Oljestaden IF 1–4 Shamrock Cathair
KT Moreazerua 1–0 1830 Cathair
Osarese Marcadia 2–0 Laivana JPS

Matchday 15
National League
1830 Cathair 0–1 Osarese Marcadia
Shamrock Cathair 1–0 KT Moreazerua
KT Ferramendiak 2–1 Oljestaden IF
Bombarralense 1–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
Sparta Zijweg 1–1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
AS Marcadia 0–2 Cazadores Cathair
AC Izotz Zubia 2–2 KT Itzalovalle

Matchday 16
National League
Cazadores Cathair 0–0 AC Izotz Zubia
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 0–0 AS Marcadia
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–1 Sparta Zijweg
Oljestaden IF 1–0 Bombarralense
KT Moreazerua 0–1 KT Ferramendiak
Osarese Marcadia 1–2 Shamrock Cathair
Laivana JPS 0–1 1830 Cathair

Matchday 17
National League
Shamrock Cathair 4–1 Laivana JPS
KT Ferramendiak 0–1 Osarese Marcadia
Bombarralense 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Sparta Zijweg 0–2 Oljestaden IF
AS Marcadia 0–1 Tenth Star Hasiera
AC Izotz Zubia 1–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera

Matchday 18
National League
Tenth Star Hasiera 3–2 AC Izotz Zubia
Oljestaden IF 0–0 AS Marcadia
KT Moreazerua 2–1 Sparta Zijweg
Osarese Marcadia 0–3 Bombarralense
Laivana JPS 0–1 KT Ferramendiak
1830 Cathair 2–1 Shamrock Cathair

Matchday 19
National League
KT Ferramendiak 0–1 1830 Cathair
Bombarralense 2–0 Laivana JPS
Sparta Zijweg 0–2 Osarese Marcadia
AS Marcadia 1–0 KT Moreazerua
AC Izotz Zubia 2–1 Oljestaden IF

National League              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             14    9   3   2    22   10  +12    30
 2 Osarese Marcadia           14    9   2   3    15    8   +7    29
 3 Cazadores Cathair          14    8   4   2    31   11  +20    28
 4 1830 Cathair               14    8   3   3    19   10   +9    27
 5 Bombarralense              14    8   2   4    17    9   +8    26
 6 Shamrock Cathair           14    8   0   6    21   13   +8    24
 7 KT Moreazerua              14    8   0   6    12   12    0    24
 8 KT Ferramendiak            14    6   2   6    10   11   −1    20
 9 KT Itzalovalle             14    4   7   3    18   14   +4    19
10 Oljestaden IF              14    4   2   8    10   17   −7    14
11 AS Marcadia                14    4   2   8     8   17   −9    14
12 Tenth Star Hasiera         14    4   2   8    10   22  −12    14
13 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      14    2   4   8    12   21   −9    10
14 Laivana JPS                14    3   1  10    11   22  −11    10
15 Sparta Zijweg              14    2   2  10    10   29  −19     8

Having finished eighth twice, eleventh twice and tenth in recent seasons, Osarese’s march into the top two is a blistering return to form for Fabio Mancini’s men. Finally given some financial backing, the Osarian spent wisely and the team in the stadium that bears his name have burst out of the blocks, winning nine of their first fourteen games to place themselves in the thick of the fight. Their win over league leaders AC Izotz Zubia on matchday two is enough to propel them above Caza in third, while 1830 Cathair have thus far put a strong if unspectacular season together - their matchday four defeat by Zozi a massive disappointment and a sign that the side are perhaps not quite at the level their fans desperately need them to be at.

Shamrock, Mozi and Itzi all finished in the Champions League places last season, but the pressures of actually competing in IFCF football during the first half of the season, and balancing that will a title tilt, have overcome all three sides who sit mid-table interspersed with the likes of a solid Ferramendiak (revelling in being ahead of their city rivals at the break) and Bombarralense

KT Itzalovalle Itzi
The Antzerkia, (Cap: 48000). Ferramendiak, Herradura

Domestic Honours - 3
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Echepare Rospide (27, G , ASG)
2. Liza Price (30, D R, BRE)
3. Katua Byrne (21, M L, BRE)
4. Artizar Bailo (29, DM C, ASG)
5. Alejandro Consuegra (31, D C, AUD)
6. Garai Echevarrieta (32, D C, AUD)
7. Yuriorkis Stelea (21, M C, AUD)
8. Kausu Dione (32, F C, BNJ)
9. Claudio Vantula (24, F C, MRT)
10. Dreigiau Parrish (28, AM C, BRE)
12. Deon Tonnesen-Zegarra (22, D CL, AUD)
13. Ysaak (30, D RCL, DAI)
14. Eurico Da Rosa (29, AM/F C, AUD)
15. Floriano Côtescassées (25, D/M L, AUD)
16. Inigo Brandão (18, M CL, AUD)
17. Dunixi Oyangurengoitia (18, M R, AUD)
18. Eneko Burionagonatotorecagageazcoechea (28, M CR, AUD)
19. Kel Malaxetxebarria (19, M C, AUD)
20. Reynard Salama (24, D C, EFL)
22. Vianca (31, G , DAI)
Mng. Daniel Bernard (50, VLD)

Matchday 20
National League
AC Izotz Zubia 1–0 KT Moreazerua
AS Marcadia 1–3 Osarese Marcadia
Sparta Zijweg 2–1 Laivana JPS
Bombarralense 2–3 1830 Cathair
KT Ferramendiak 1–0 Shamrock Cathair

Matchday 21
National League
Shamrock Cathair 3–1 Bombarralense
1830 Cathair 1–1 Sparta Zijweg
Laivana JPS 1–0 AS Marcadia
Osarese Marcadia 1–1 AC Izotz Zubia
Cazadores Cathair 0–2 KT Itzalovalle

Itzi can only watch as local rivals KT Ferramendiak move four points clear of them on matchday twenty with a hard earned victory over Shamrock Cathair, with veteran striker Creidne Lindauer grabbing the only goal of the game. Itzi, champions last year, have made a meal of their season so far. It’s the kind of season that might have seen previous managers sacked, but Valladar boss Daniel Bernard has more than bought himself time with a first league title in his club’s history.

Imbued with an ‘anything you can do, we can do better’ mentality, Itzi make it two-out-of-two for Ferramendiaki clubs against capital city opponents for the weekend, beating Caza by two goals to zero. Claudio Vantula and Kausu Dione have made for a great partnership so far, and the goals come from those two. Why aren’t they higher up the table? It appears most of the other teams in the league simply got themselves sorted out earlier this year.

National League           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             16   10   4   2    24   11  +13    34
 2 Osarese Marcadia           16   10   3   3    19   10   +9    33
 3 1830 Cathair               16    9   4   3    23   13  +10    31
 4 Cazadores Cathair          15    8   4   3    31   13  +18    28
 5 Shamrock Cathair           16    9   0   7    24   15   +9    27
 6 Bombarralense              16    8   2   6    20   15   +5    26
 7 KT Moreazerua              15    8   0   7    12   13   −1    24
 8 KT Ferramendiak            15    7   2   6    11   11    0    23
 9 KT Itzalovalle             15    5   7   3    20   14   +6    22
10 Oljestaden IF              14    4   2   8    10   17   −7    14
11 Tenth Star Hasiera         14    4   2   8    10   22  −12    14
12 AS Marcadia                16    4   2  10     9   21  −12    14
13 Laivana JPS                16    4   1  11    13   24  −11    13
14 Sparta Zijweg              16    3   3  10    13   31  −18    12
15 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      14    2   4   8    12   21   −9    10

KT Ferramendiak Feri
Burdina Jauregia, (Cap: 85000). Ferramendiak, Herradura

Domestic Honours - 1
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Jordan Yoda (36, G , AFT)
2. Jerquaad (30, D CR, DAI)
3. Per Frandsen (28, D CL, AUD)
4. Finn Townsend (32, DM C, BRE)
5. Jerónimo Marzan (32, D CR, AUD)
6. Yuri Gurkin (30, D C, AUD)
7. Creidne Lindauer (34, F C, BRE)
8. Corby Wheeler (33, M C, BRE)
9. Luca Senna (34, F C, AUD)
10. Izan Alvarenga (23, M LC, AUD)
11. Davide Laguardia (24, F C, AUD)
12. Ronan Fallon (34, DM C, BRE)
13. Jiskastnya (29, F C, DAI)
14. Franco Almanzar (21, AM C, AUD)
15. Guifré Menez (33, D R, AUD)
16. Adie Sia (22, G , AUD)
17. Erroman Gorriaran (20, M LC, AUD)
18. Gabriel Montilla (20, F C, AUD)
Mng. Orson Faulkner (52, D CR, BRE)

After treading water last season, Orson Faulkner took a number of gambles in pre-season, signing older, experienced and often Brenecian footballers to make up the spine of his team KT Ferramendiak team, most notably Finn Townsend, a man whose midfield prowess has torn through the league since his arrival five seasons ago. He and Wheeler continue where their partnership left off at Shamrock, and were entirely responsible for the team’s victory over Shammers the previous week.

Matchday 22
National League
KT Itzalovalle 2–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
AC Izotz Zubia 1–0 Laivana JPS
AS Marcadia 0–0 1830 Cathair
Sparta Zijweg 1–0 Shamrock Cathair
Bombarralense 1–0 KT Ferramendiak

Matchday 23
National League
KT Ferramendiak 1–0 Sparta Zijweg
Shamrock Cathair 5–1 AS Marcadia
1830 Cathair 0–1 AC Izotz Zubia
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–1 Cazadores Cathair

Feri are turned over by a Daczibog Ketadzic at hime, but bounce back to secure a narrow win over relegation-threatened Sparta the next week to keep themselves in the fight. Anyone who’s seen the ordinarily unfashionable Feri play typically agrees: This season, they look like the real deal, don’t they?

KT Moreazerua Mozi
Ibarretako Estadioa, (Cap: 40000). Moreazerua, Herradura

Domestic Honours - 2
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Maren Artetxebarria (33, G , AUD)
2. Adélaïde Garcia (29, D C, SVG)
3. Valentinos Giannakos (30, D C, VDR)
4. Ronan Stenhouse (29, DM C, EUR)
5. Marwyn Asterisk (34, D C, AUD)
6. Máximo Andikoetxea (17, D/M C, AUD)
7. Mbdiai Akarenaa (37, M RCL, TUR)
8. Koldo Bazterrika (29, M LC, AUD)
9. Koenraad Rijsbergen (32, F C, AUD)
10. Olentzaro Karazatorre (29, F C, ASG)
11. Dashmati (25, AM CL, DAI)
12. Syerra (21, M R, DAI)
15. Oran Coldcross (26, D C, AUD)
17. Garfield Etxeleku (21, M L, AUD)
18. Imauka Lkomorak (22, M CR, VIL)
19. Trevor Paraoan (27, AM/F C, FHU)
20. Zakuty (29, F C, DAI)
21. Ximen Errandonea (16, M R, AUD)
22. Errapel Balenziaga (32, D/M R, AUD)
24. Reuben Corkhill (18, D/M C, AUD)
43. Zebjan Istanjovich (47, G , SIC)
Mng. Alessandro Juliana (38, M CR, AUD)

Alessandro Juliana had been doing an excellent job at AS Marcadia but, at the end of the day, it was AS Marcadia, and just keeping them up year after year was going above and beyond the call of duty. At Mozi, he has more pieces to play with, including impressive young midfielder Reuben Corkhill and star striking duo Koenraad Rijsbergen and Olentzaro Karazatorre, who are still at the peak of their careers.

Matchday 24
National League
Cazadores Cathair 2–3 Tenth Star Hasiera
KT Itzalovalle 3–2 Oljestaden IF
AC Izotz Zubia 1–1 Shamrock Cathair
AS Marcadia 0–1 KT Ferramendiak
Sparta Zijweg 0–3 Bombarralense

Matchday 25
National League
Bombarralense 0–0 AS Marcadia
KT Ferramendiak 0–2 AC Izotz Zubia
KT Moreazerua 1–2 KT Itzalovalle
Oljestaden IF 0–1 Cazadores Cathair
Tenth Star Hasiera 2–1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera

Karazatorre opens the scoring against Itzi, but the champions fight back through Dione and, eventually, Eurico, to snatch all three points and leapfrog a Mozi side that have barely gotten started this season. ‘But games in hand…’ is an increasingly desperate mantra from their fans, who would still be a net sixth with three consecutive wins.

For Mozi to be down in ninth is disappointing, but it may give their fans some small comfort to see who else is struggling…

National League              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             20   13   5   2    29   12  +17    44
 2 KT Itzalovalle             19    9   7   3    28   17  +11    34
 3 Bombarralense              19   10   3   6    24   15   +9    33
 4 Osarese Marcadia           16   10   3   3    19   10   +9    33
 5 Cazadores Cathair          18    9   5   4    35   17  +18    32
 6 1830 Cathair               18    9   5   4    23   14   +9    32
 7 Shamrock Cathair           19   10   1   8    30   18  +12    31
 8 KT Ferramendiak            19    9   2   8    13   14   −1    29
 9 KT Moreazerua              16    8   0   8    13   15   −2    24
10 Tenth Star Hasiera         17    6   2   9    15   26  −11    20
11 AS Marcadia                20    4   4  12    10   27  −17    16
12 Sparta Zijweg              19    4   3  12    14   35  −21    15
13 Oljestaden IF              16    4   2  10    12   21   −9    14
14 Laivana JPS                17    4   1  12    13   25  −12    13
15 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      17    2   5  10    14   26  −12    11

1830 Cathair The Teatimers / The Elders
Arena Kirola, (Cap: 77500). Cathair, Central

Domestic Honours - 15
COCANEFA Honours - 7
International Honours - 7
Squad
2. Ross Okano (33, D C, KRY)
3. Minne van Schelven (30, D C, KOR)
4. Stani Gröss (30, DM C, ZRH)
5. Jack Menard (25, D C, EUR)
6. Brannigan Burley (28, M C, AUD)
7. Thea Squarciafichi (26, F C, SVG)
8. Erik Moselle (26, F C, STL)
9. Xaime Medal (28, AM L, TEQ)
10. Baillaire Fillar (21, AM C, CMT)
11. Antoine Letexier (24, AM RCL, AUD)
13. Kuter (23, G , DAI)
15. Tryfon Vlahilades (31, D L, VDR)
17. Lance Logan (18, G , BRO)
18. Grayson Fillar (22, D R, CMT)
19. Lázaro Patrón (23, M/F LC, AUD)
20. Alex Sharp (21, F C, EUR)
21. Anselm Koerner (28, M R, NPH)
23. Devlin Napier (34, D/M LC, KRY)
24. Andrés Calvo (17, D C, AUD)
25. Rivelino Bomba (21, M LC, AUD)
27. Hernán Mata-Curie (16, D/M L, AUD)
30. Ramon MacMaster (20, M C, AUD)
Mng. Gareth Blackthorn (54, EUR)

Cazadores Cathair Caza
El Ruedo, (Cap: 42500). Cathair, Central

Domestic Honours - 4
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 3
Squad
1. Juxon Fillar (27, G , CMT)
3. Harmon Mulvahill (23, D L, KOR)
4. Iago Cacho (34, DM C, AUD)
5. Obadele Volonte (23, D C, AUD)
6. Inteali Koranjo (25, D C, VIL)
7. Kepler Marcel Gouveia de Souza (20, AM C, QUE)
8. Adrian Toscani (27, AM C, SVG)
9. Wilhelm Hielscher-Zendagorta (21, AM/F C, STL)
10. Cristian Benitez (25, AM C, VLD)
12. Claudio Casimiro (29, D RC, AUD)
13. Cristos Harding (24, D C, EFL)
14. Rasmus Caracole (30, M L, NPH)
15. Eneko Rolondu (24, M CL, AUD)
16. John McGraw (26, D/M LC, AUD)
17. Gabirel Zozaia (33, F C, AUD)
18. Zorion Santisteban (26, M LC, AUD)
19. Qaqilek (23, G , DAI)
22. Aníbal Borges (20, DM C, AUD)
32. Tiago Brown (25, D/M R, AUD)
Mng. Rook Cathar (55, F LCR, NPH)

Shamrock Cathair Shammers
Glass Bridge Stadium, (Cap: 31500). Cathair, Central

Domestic Honours - 4
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 1
Squad
1. Kazimir Sliva (33, G , AUD)
2. Carmelo MacCowan (26, D/M LCR, AUD)
3. Aron McKenna (28, D L, TJU)
4. Archer Flat (26, D C, AUD)
5. Ffibwd yTewgneoll (25, D C, KOR)
7. Sho Itō (24, M/F R, SQR)
8. Gabriel Buvalelli (23, M C, SVG)
10. Colm O'Tuathail (31, M L, KSK)
11. Rosewing (31.5, F C, EQS)
12. Viðar Adriansson (33, D C, GRF)
13. Edith Fillar (18, M L, CMT)
14. Emilia Torgersen (21, AM C, VAL)
15. Archer Andrews (26, F C, TJU)
16. Oran Anders (22, D C, AUD)
19. Fergus Sloan (30, M L, GRU)
21. Fraser Mackintosh (17, D LC, AUD)
22. Thomas McFarland (29, G , AUD)
24. Euan MacArthur (17, D C, AUD)
26. Lucas Keir (16, D/M C, AUD)
Mng. Alexander Crewe (39, F C, APX)

Matchday 26
National League
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–2 Oljestaden IF
Cazadores Cathair 2–0 KT Moreazerua
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 Osarese Marcadia
AC Izotz Zubia 3–0 Bombarralense
AS Marcadia 1–1 Sparta Zijweg

Matchday 27
National League
Sparta Zijweg 2–4 AC Izotz Zubia
Laivana JPS 1–1 KT Itzalovalle
Osarese Marcadia 1–0 Cazadores Cathair
KT Moreazerua 1–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Oljestaden IF 3–2 Tenth Star Hasiera

Matchday 28
National League
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–1 Osarese Marcadia
Cazadores Cathair 0–0 Laivana JPS
KT Itzalovalle 2–0 1830 Cathair
AC Izotz Zubia 3–1 AS Marcadia

National League           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             23   16   5   2    39   15  +24    53
 2 KT Itzalovalle             22   11   8   3    32   18  +14    41
 3 Osarese Marcadia           19   11   4   4    21   12   +9    37
 4 Cazadores Cathair          21   10   6   5    37   18  +19    36
 5 Bombarralense              20   10   3   7    24   18   +6    33
 6 1830 Cathair               19    9   5   5    23   16   +7    32
 7 Shamrock Cathair           19   10   1   8    30   18  +12    31
 8 KT Moreazerua              19   10   0   9    15   17   −2    30
 9 KT Ferramendiak            19    9   2   8    13   14   −1    29
10 Oljestaden IF              18    6   2  10    17   24   −7    20
11 Tenth Star Hasiera         19    6   2  11    17   30  −13    20
12 AS Marcadia                22    4   5  13    12   31  −19    17
13 Sparta Zijweg              21    4   4  13    17   40  −23    16
14 Laivana JPS                19    4   3  12    14   26  −12    15
15 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      20    2   6  12    16   30  −14    12

For 1830 Cathair to be twenty-one points adrift of Derby of Audioslavia rivals AC Izotz Zubia with so many games to go should be panic-attack material for its fans, but this is a Cathair side that have finished in fifth place for three seasons in a row, after having previously finished lower than third only once. With a win percentage of lower than 50%, nobody in blue is playing the game-in-hand game. Cathair are desperate.

Euran manager Gareth Blackthorn has aimed to balance blooding new talent with using older, more experienced players to tie the side together, and has largely achieved neither. Previous boss Jerome Jaffacake Phillips lasted only two seasons of fifth-place finishes. Is Blackthorn’s solitary Kirola Cup winners’ medal enough to keep his job?

Shamrock are a point behind their city rivals, similarly looking up at the head of the table. They, like, Cathair, can catch and pass Caza with two wins from their games in hand over the other other Cathair club, but for the only possible goal to be ‘scrape into the Champions League’ already is a dire situation for each of the three Cathair teams.

by **Audioslavia** » Sat Mar 05, 2022 2:00 pm

Matchday 29
National League
Shamrock Cathair 1–1 KT Itzalovalle
1830 Cathair 2–2 Cazadores Cathair
Laivana JPS 1–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Osarese Marcadia 2–2 Tenth Star Hasiera
KT Moreazerua 2–0 Oljestaden IF

Matchday 30
National League
Oljestaden IF 1–1 Osarese Marcadia
Tenth Star Hasiera 2–3 Laivana JPS
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 0–2 1830 Cathair
Cazadores Cathair 0–1 Shamrock Cathair
KT Itzalovalle 0–0 KT Ferramendiak

Matchday 31
National League
Bombarralense 0–2 KT Itzalovalle
KT Ferramendiak 0–0 Cazadores Cathair
Shamrock Cathair 0–1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
1830 Cathair 1–2 Tenth Star Hasiera
Laivana JPS 1–1 Oljestaden IF
Osarese Marcadia 2–1 KT Moreazerua

2-0 up at home to hated local rivals Cazadores (though trust us, the hate comes mainly from the other side), goalscorer Baillaire Fillar goes to ground awkwardly while turning and clutches at their ankle. Her team-mates wave for the opposition to kick the ball into touch, but 2-0 down with twenty minutes to go in a local derby, with a Champions League place on the line? Not on your nelly. Kepler Marcel Gouveia de Souza plays the ball out into the channel for Wilhelm Hielscher-Zendagorta to run onto and finish past Kuter for 2-1 and possibly the record for the most letters in an assist/goalscorer duo.

There is a brief interlude as all twenty-two players go to special military operation in the middle of the pitch. One of the teams emerges rattled, and surprisingly it’s not the team managed by a man who looks like he’d be more at home sitting next to a walrus carcas with blood all over his face. Rook Cathar’s men go for it and Valladar midfielder Cristian Benitez gets the equaliser to punch the wind out of the home side.

In midweek, Cathair field a changed line up and a younger team can’t help but roll over struggling Tout-Puissant, with Ramon MacMaster and Alex Sharp on the scoresheet. Their supposed ‘first’ team host Tenth Star on the Sunday, but in a scrappy rain-soaked game are overturned by two goals to one.

If there’s one thing saving Gareth Blackthorn’s job, it’s the fact that Cathair fans - at least, those who still like football - have become used to the New Normal. They remain fifth in the league.

National League           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             23   16   5   2    39   15  +24    53
 2 KT Itzalovalle             25   12  10   3    35   19  +16    46
 3 Osarese Marcadia           22   12   6   4    26   16  +10    42
 4 Cazadores Cathair          24   10   8   6    39   21  +18    38
 5 1830 Cathair               22   10   6   6    28   20   +8    36
 6 Shamrock Cathair           22   11   2   9    32   20  +12    35
 7 Bombarralense              21   10   3   8    24   20   +4    33
 8 KT Moreazerua              21   11   0  10    18   19   −1    33
 9 KT Ferramendiak            21    9   4   8    13   14   −1    31
10 Tenth Star Hasiera         22    7   3  12    23   36  −13    24
11 Oljestaden IF              21    6   4  11    19   28   −9    22
12 Laivana JPS                22    6   4  12    19   29  −10    22
13 AS Marcadia                22    4   5  13    12   31  −19    17
14 Sparta Zijweg              21    4   4  13    17   40  −23    16
15 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      23    3   6  14    17   33  −16    15

At the top, it’s probably about time we talked not only about AC Izotz Zubia, but the team that, with a solitary win from their three games in hand, could be sitting a net second soon enough.

First, though: Bomba.

Bombarralense Os Bombardeiros
Estadio das Trevas, (Cap: 17500). Bombarral, Lusitâninha

Domestic Honours - 0
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Uolleys (36, G , DAI)
2. Patrick Read (23, D R, EUR)
3. Muuna Kentar (42, D L, MRN)
4. Cechy (25, M C, DAI)
5. Jessico Eres (32, D C, AUD)
6. Gastão Fagundes (21, D/M C, AUD)
7. Max Rizzo (29, M/F L, CBP)
8. Tray Mohaupt (32, M C, SPM)
9. Cillian Hurdly (28, F C, AUD)
10. Martí Calderon (32, F C, TEQ)
11. Rylan Bishop (26, M L, TKT)
12. Daczibog Ketadzic (37, D C, SRS)
13. Chase Hernandes (17, D LC, AUD)
14. Petrus Maslin (27, M R, NPH)
15. Ezara Wild (19, AM C, AUD)
16. Jacob Marley (32, DM C, MUR)
18. Dick Munro-Moura (23, M C, AUD)
19. Juan José Pasillas (22, D/M C, AUD)
20. Joaquim Neto (16, AM C, AUD)
21. Antoni Moigne (31, AM R, AUD)
22. Reinhart Nijssen (22, D C, AUD)
Mng. Guillem Rodas (45, D/M L, AUD)

Bomba’s line-up is as curious as always. Dacizbog Ketadzic remains a beloved fan favourite, as does midfielder Jacob Marley, but both are getting to be past their peak. Elsewhere, Max Rizzo and Rylan Bishop still assume much of the responsibility with regards to providing chances, but in truth there isn’t a central spine to this odd little Bomba team. They consistently form more than the sum of their parts, and though they still appear to be the weaker of the top nine, they cannot be ignored. Delayed until matchday thirty-two, yeah, but not ignored.

Matchday 32
National League
KT Moreazerua 2–0 Laivana JPS
Oljestaden IF 4–2 1830 Cathair
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–1 Shamrock Cathair
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–2 KT Ferramendiak
Cazadores Cathair 2–1 Bombarralense
KT Itzalovalle 2–0 Sparta Zijweg

Bomba are no match for a Caza team on a late push at the end of the season, while over in Oljestaden the Oilers all but cement their place in the top flight for another season by inflicting another miserable defeat on a rag-tag Cathair side.

Osarese Marcadia The Phoenix
Stadio Fabio Mancini, (Cap: 21000). Marcadia, Padia

Domestic Honours - 1
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Saoirise (30, G , DAI)
2. Michael Jensen (32, D R, AUD)
3. Jan Galcirena (25, D L, AUD)
4. Tayaaga Romneir (30, D C, MRN)
5. Daniel MacCowan (30, D CR, AUD)
6. Declan MacCowan (30, M C, AUD)
7. Jiang Jieren (22, M R, YZH)
8. Phil Cole (25, AM C, TMB)
9. Thor Møller (35, F C, VAL)
10. Garnett Makanza (28, F C, CBR)
11. Bong Min-Joong (21, M L, QUE)
12. Esro Sepúlveda (23, F C, AUD)
13. Shinji Teruzuki (29, G , OSR)
14. Caprice Martinelli (39, DM C, OSR)
15. Bryson O'Lara (24, D C, EFL)
16. Bryton Menheniot (32, DM C, APX)
18. Dane Pridgeon (28, M C, COS)
19. Johan Simundsen (29, M L, SVJ)
21. Pearl Morgan (35, AM C, OSR)
Mng. Fabio Mancini (45, M C, OSR)

Adding two MacCowans and a Vanorian legend to their ranks in pre-season, and adding Tumbran creator Phil Cole in midfield, Fabio Mancini has finally managed to put together a competitive side. After years of struggling at the lower end of the table, Osarese have chosen this moment to get things right, and how. The side have outperformed the three Cathairs and are breathing down the necks of KT Itzalovalle in second place. With Zozi having all but disappeared over the horizon, the Phoenix have the chance to clinch an unlikely runners-up finish.

Matchday 33
National League
AS Marcadia 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
Sparta Zijweg 3–3 Cazadores Cathair
Bombarralense 1–1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
KT Ferramendiak 4–1 Tenth Star Hasiera
Shamrock Cathair 4–0 Oljestaden IF
1830 Cathair 1–0 KT Moreazerua
Laivana JPS 1–2 Osarese Marcadia

Laivana are in dire straits at the foot of the table, desperately trying to avoid the fourth and final relegation spot, but Osarese are in no mood to help them out. Bong Min-Joong, a Quebecois youth prospect turned key chance creator, feeds Thor Møller for the opener, and the Vanorian veteran makes it two-nil before half-time. Møller comes close to heading in a hat-trick in the second half but, after his flick bounce off the top of the bar, hobbles awkwardly back out of the area before signalling his distress to the bench. At age 35, Thor Møller’s season - and perhaps career - appears to have come to an end. Laivana, despite the desperate need to get back into the game, give the popular striker a round of applause that lasts until long after Møller has disappeared down the tunnel. At the final whistle, Fabio Mancini claps the travelling fans, but with a thin squad now even thinner, even the boss must be wondering if Osarese can keep up their push.

National League.             Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             23   16   5   2    39   15  +24    53
 2 KT Itzalovalle             27   14  10   3    38   19  +19    52
 3 Osarese Marcadia           23   13   6   4    28   17  +11    45
 4 Cazadores Cathair          26   11   9   6    44   25  +19    42
 5 Shamrock Cathair           24   13   2   9    37   20  +17    41
 6 1830 Cathair               24   11   6   7    31   24   +7    39
 7 KT Ferramendiak            23   11   4   8    19   16   +3    37
 8 KT Moreazerua              23   12   0  11    20   20    0    36
 9 Bombarralense              23   10   4   9    26   23   +3    34
10 Oljestaden IF              23    7   4  12    23   34  −11    25
11 Tenth Star Hasiera         24    7   3  14    24   41  −17    24
12 Laivana JPS                24    6   4  14    20   33  −13    22
13 AS Marcadia                23    4   5  14    12   32  −20    17
14 Sparta Zijweg              23    4   5  14    20   45  −25    17
15 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      25    3   7  15    19   36  −17    16

AC Izotz Zubia Zozi
Soldaduak Eremuaberria, (Cap: 52180). Izotzazubia , Herradura

Domestic Honours - 15
COCANEFA Honours - 4
International Honours - 7
Squad
01. Röémün Çídh (29, F C, FFD)
2. Leonardo Ceron (33, D C, AUD)
3. Larry Martinez (29, D L, NWK)
4. Tigran Deschapelles (33, M C, AUD)
5. Grigorij Savicevic (29, D C, MYT)
6. Michael Christie (29, D C, SCT)
8. Lothaire Cromwell (28, M C, NPH)
9. Thomas Butler (23, M R, NWK)
10. Elek Salai (24, M/F CL, PAS)
12. Ferus (21, G , DAI)
13. Branadru (39, G , DAI)
14. Yokin Erdokiain (25, F C, ASG)
15. Abarran Lizarraga (24, M/F RC, AUD)
17. Domiku Bergara (32, DM C, ASG)
18. Giacomo Durán (24, D R, AUD)
19. Eskuin Nekol (26, M L, ASG)
21. Atole Kaplan (23, D L, KOR)
23. Unai Cappadonna (17, M C, AUD)
24. Julho Viscondessas (18, AM/F C, AUD)
25. Txordyn Coy (19, D/M RC, AUD)

Mng. Ager Alaba (51, M C, ASG)

Over the last six seasons, Zozi have been champions twice, finished third on three occasions and on the sixth, and final occasion, finished runners-up. On only one occasion they’ve finished more than three points shy of the top spot. Their strength is partly due to an influx of money from selling on big-name players like Laborious Hawk and Valrauncion and replacing them with a crew of top quality footballers, and naturally it’s partly down to Zozi being a huge football team, but mainly their strength seems to come from Astograthian manager Ager Alaba. Formerly a defensive midfielder with Urbanista Trojans and KT Itzalovalle with a handful of caps for the national team, Alaba had gone on to manage Itzi, transforming them from a middling side coming off the back of the worst era in their history to a side that could win the league. Tempted across the hills to Izotzazubia, Alaba has built a formidable team that look nailed on to win the league.

Matchday 34
National League
Osarese Marcadia 0–0 1830 Cathair
KT Moreazerua 2–1 Shamrock Cathair
Oljestaden IF 1–2 KT Ferramendiak
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–0 Bombarralense
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 0–1 Sparta Zijweg
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 AS Marcadia
KT Itzalovalle 0–0 AC Izotz Zubia

Matchday 35
National League
AC Izotz Zubia 2–2 Cazadores Cathair
AS Marcadia 1–0 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Sparta Zijweg 1–2 Tenth Star Hasiera
Bombarralense 0–0 Oljestaden IF
KT Ferramendiak 0–3 KT Moreazerua
Shamrock Cathair 2–1 Osarese Marcadia
1830 Cathair 0–0 Laivana JPS

National League              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             25   16   7   2    41   17  +24    55
 2 KT Itzalovalle             28   14  11   3    38   19  +19    53
 3 Cazadores Cathair          28   12  10   6    47   27  +20    46
 4 Osarese Marcadia           25   13   7   5    29   19  +10    46
 5 Shamrock Cathair           26   14   2  10    40   23  +17    44
 6 KT Moreazerua              25   14   0  11    25   21   +4    42
 7 1830 Cathair               26   11   8   7    31   24   +7    41
 8 KT Ferramendiak            25   12   4   9    21   20   +1    40
 9 Bombarralense              25   10   6   9    26   23   +3    36
10 Tenth Star Hasiera         26    8   4  14    26   42  −16    28
11 Oljestaden IF              25    7   5  13    24   36  −12    26
12 Laivana JPS                25    6   5  14    20   33  −13    23
13 AS Marcadia                25    5   5  15    13   33  −20    20
14 Sparta Zijweg              25    5   5  15    22   47  −25    20
15 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      27    3   7  17    19   38  −19    16 - RELEGATED

AC Izotz Zubia’s game against Itzi had been billed as a top-of-the-table clash for the league title. Naturally, that narrative is complete nonsense. Victory for Itzi would have put them above Zozi, sure, but while the game was Itzi’s last of the season, Zozi would still have four games in which to get the one point required to overturn that deficit. It was never likely to happen, and Zozi’s defensive display, centred around the triangle of Christie, Ceron, Savicevic and Bergara (four can be a diamond if one of the points just kind of tucks in between two of the others), is enough to ensure Itzalovalle will not be defending the title they won last season.

Also over is the season of Cazadores Cathair, in third, who also succumb to a draw against an unbeatable looking Zozi for their final game. With three games to go, the only team that could possibly overtake the champions elect is Osarese Marcadia, down in fourth, who would need to win their final three games, make up a goal differential of fourteen, and hope Zozi lose all three of their final matches.

Also suffering two draws are 1830 Cathair, whose form and fitness has deserted them entirely. A goal-less tie with Osarese is par for the course, going on form, but a sour nil-all with battling Laivana, who turn up to throttle the game and take their point back to the western coast, sucks the utter life out of the Arena Kirola. Cathair are seventh. They’re seventh.

Matchday 36
National League
Laivana JPS 2–1 Shamrock Cathair
Osarese Marcadia 0–3 KT Ferramendiak
KT Moreazerua 1–0 Bombarralense
Oljestaden IF 0–0 Sparta Zijweg
Tenth Star Hasiera 3–3 AS Marcadia
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 1–0 AC Izotz Zubia

National League           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             26   16   7   3    41   18  +23    55 - CHAMPIONS
 2 KT Itzalovalle             28   14  11   3    38   19  +19    53
 3 Cazadores Cathair          28   12  10   6    47   27  +20    46
 4 Osarese Marcadia           26   13   7   6    29   22   +7    46
 5 KT Moreazerua              26   15   0  11    26   21   +5    45
 6 Shamrock Cathair           27   14   2  11    41   25  +16    44
 7 KT Ferramendiak            26   13   4   9    24   20   +4    43
 8 1830 Cathair               26   11   8   7    31   24   +7    41
 9 Bombarralense              26   10   6  10    26   24   +2    36
10 Tenth Star Hasiera         27    8   5  14    29   45  −16    29
11 Oljestaden IF              26    7   6  13    24   36  −12    27
—
12 Laivana JPS                26    7   5  14    22   34  −12    26
13 AS Marcadia                26    5   6  15    16   36  −20    21
14 Sparta Zijweg              26    5   6  15    22   47  −25    21
15 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      28    4   7  17    20   38  −18    19 - RELEGATED

1830 Cathair players spend the antepenultimate matchday slumped in front of the couch watching their supposed rivals win the league despite losing to bottom club Tout-Puissant Hasiera in a frankly ludicrous game of football. Zozi, who’s only job is to not lose one of their next four games, go a goal down early on and spend the first half pumping crossed into a box for nobody, and the second half crashing against Tout-Puissant’s defensive walls. The players walk off the field embarrassed and have to wait until later that evening for the Osarese Marcadia match, requiring the Phoenix not to win big. They don’t win big. A makeshift Osarese side are over-run in the first half and that’s that. Feri move above Cathair (and surely Ferramendiak cannot be allowed to finish above 1830 Cathair, but here we are) into seventh place. If 1830 Cathair fans can have one small crumb of comfort, it’s in Laivana humbling local rivals Shamrock to drag themselves three points closer to safety. At the very bottom, it’s looking like Sparta and Marcadia are doomed, at least without two miracles in their final two games, while Laivana, Oljestaden and Tenth Star will do battle to avoid the one remaining relegation place.

Matchday 37
National League
AC Izotz Zubia 1–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
AS Marcadia 1–0 Oljestaden IF
Sparta Zijweg 2–4 KT Moreazerua
Bombarralense 1–1 Osarese Marcadia
KT Ferramendiak 1–0 Laivana JPS
Shamrock Cathair 0–2 1830 Cathair

There is to be no resolution to the relegation battle on the penultimate matchday, aside from Sparta officially announcing their relegation and AS Marcadia deciding to delay theirs - the sky blues need to stuff six goals past Mozi next week in order to have even a chance of avoiding relegation.

In Cathair, Shamrock round off a forgettable season with a 2-0 home defeat to 1830 Cathair, for whom Alex Sharp nets both goals in what pundits call a coming of age performance. Cathair may be in dire straits, but if there’s anything their fans can take comfort in it’s the form of their younger players. Shamrock will miss out on Champions League football next season, although the door is still open for Cathair to sneak in. Victory in next week’s match against Ferramendiak, plus a winless-in-four Osarese finding a new way to shit the bed, will definitely propel Audioslavia’s marquee football side into the Champions League again, after three seasons on the fringes of the upper echelons of international club football. Mozi, for what it’s worth, have booked their place in the multiverse’s premier tournament already.

National League              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             27   17   7   3    42   18  +24    58
 2 KT Itzalovalle             28   14  11   3    38   19  +19    53
 3 KT Moreazerua              27   16   0  11    30   23   +7    48
 4 Osarese Marcadia           27   13   8   6    30   23   +7    47
 5 Cazadores Cathair          28   12  10   6    47   27  +20    46
 6 KT Ferramendiak            27   14   4   9    25   20   +5    46
 7 Shamrock Cathair           28   14   2  12    41   27  +14    44
 8 1830 Cathair               27   12   8   7    33   24   +9    44
 9 Bombarralense              27   10   7  10    27   25   +2    37
10 Tenth Star Hasiera         28    8   5  15    29   46  −17    29
11 Oljestaden IF              27    7   6  14    24   37  −13    27
12 Laivana JPS                27    7   5  15    22   35  −13    26
13 AS Marcadia                27    6   6  15    17   36  −19    24
14 Sparta Zijweg              27    5   6  16    24   51  −27    21
15 Tout-Puissant Hasiera      28    4   7  17    20   38  −18    19

Matchday 38
National League
1830 Cathair 1–2 KT Ferramendiak
Laivana JPS 0–0 Bombarralense
Osarese Marcadia 2–1 Sparta Zijweg
KT Moreazerua 1–0 AS Marcadia
Oljestaden IF 1–0 AC Izotz Zubia

At the top, Zozi aren’t fielding a full strength line-up for their visit to Oljestaden, but you could probably guess that from the scoreline. The win for Oljestaden gurantees their safety - a loss would have relegated them, what with Laivana’s spirited draw against Bombarralense. Mozi finish strongly by finishing Marcadia’s hopes of another year in the top flight. I Marchetti are finally relegated after years of threatening to do just that.

Meanwhile, the battle for the final Champions League spot is won by Osarese Marcadia, for whom goals from Phil Cole and Jiang Jieren are enough to overcome relegated Sparta. Cathair, needing victory over Feri to have a chance at that final CL spot, are defeated at home and leave the field to a chorus of boos. 1830 Cathair, who hadn’t finished below fifth ever in the league, end the campaign in eighth place, the club in absolute turmoil.

by **Audioslavia** » Sat Mar 05, 2022 3:15 pm

National Two                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts
 1 Union Cathair              38   27   6   5    50   20  +30    87 PROMOTED
 2 CF Daineri                 38   23   5  10    49   26  +23    74 PROMOTED
 3 CC Exiles                  38   21   8   9    45   28  +17    71
 4 Artiglieria                38   19  10   9    53   35  +18    67
 5 Santa Margarida            38   19   8  11    42   30  +12    65
 6 CdF Celtade                38   20   4  14    55   37  +18    64
 7 Ceilerden Rovers           38   16  12  10    44   33  +11    60
 8 Guerrilla Cathair          38   17   7  14    39   38   +1    58
 9 Silexhera FC               38   15   9  14    38   37   +1    54
10 Crossport Mariners         38   14  11  13    51   43   +8    53
11 Eletti Valligiani          38   15   8  15    34   35   −1    53
12 Burdoc Ridge               38   13  13  12    48   41   +7    52
13 Lemmitania State FC        38   13  10  15    46   38   +8    49
14 Excelsior Zijweg           38   14   7  17    40   46   −6    49
15 KT Koroatuz                38   13   9  16    39   44   −5    48
16 Crossport Dynamo           38   13   8  17    43   42   +1    47 RELEGATED
17 Necromarinai               38    8   9  21    24   46  −22    33 RELEGATED
18 KT Laranjauzia             38    7   7  24    35   61  −26    28 RELEGATED
19 Iron Brewery               38    8   4  26    35   78  −43    28 RELEGATED
20 Isle of Kjeligsted FC      38    5   5  28    25   77  −52    20 RELEGATED

Union Cathair's return to the top flight is swift and comprehensive, finishing the campaign on all of eighty-seven points. Joining them will be another team leaving the National Two at the first attempt, this time from the other direction. CF Daineri will replace Oljestaden IF as Audioslavia's northernmost team in the top flight, with the men from the Hook capturing the final promotion spot.

Kirola Cup Preliminary Round
Lawport FC 3–1 Valão
Sporting Clube de São Jeremías 1–0 Leftfield United
Valderantia United 1–1 2130 Calolziolungho (2–1 AET)
Ross Rovers 1–1 Calcio Lecho (1–2 AET)
Kitherwell 1–0 Reina Del Sud
Glesca Royals 1–1 Leftfield Steelworks (2–1 AET)
Viking Hryggur 2–2 Leftfield Owls (2–2 AET) (2–3 pen.)
Frecce 4–1 KT Ferratzaileak
Edina City 1–1 DDM Dunas Secas (2–1 AET)
Ross Railway 2–0 CF Herradores
Cerejeiras 2–1 Albakirk Athletic
Garden City FC 0–0 Huiszwalluw FC (0–1 AET)
Viking Halehavn 0–1 Sporting Clube Marinheiros
Deportivo de Puerta Cruz 0–0 Clockwork FC (0–1 AET)
CF Cruceros 1–0 Vidrieros
Burnfax Trinity 1–0 Glesca Rebels
Uniao Tortuguita 1–1 KT Kanpoldelko (1–1 AET) (3–2 pen.)
Maccabi Hasiera 2–0 Valens AV

Kirola Cup First Round
Silexhera FC 0–1 Sobrevolante
Frecce 2–0 KT Laranjauzia
Eletti Valligiani 2–0 Valderantia United
Cerejeiras 0–2 Necromarinai
Leftfield Owls 0–4 Shamrock Cathair
Tenth Star Hasiera 3–0 Iron Brewery
Osarese Marcadia 0–2 Oljestaden IF
Ceilerden Rovers 0–2 Excelsior Zijweg
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 0–0 Clockwork FC (0–0 AET) (4–2 pen.)
Sporting Clube de São Jeremías 1–1 Lawport FC (2–2 AET) (2–4 pen.)
Artiglieria 0–2 CdF Celtade
CF Cruceros 0–2 Fundición
Union Cathair 2–2 Uniao Tortuguita (3–2 AET)
Calcio Lecho 3–0 Glesca Royals
Crossport Dynamo 1–2 Guerrilla Cathair
KT Ferramendiak 0–2 Crossport Mariners
Alistoun Academicals 1–1 Kitherwell (3–2 AET)
The Oran 0–1 Ceilerden Harp
CdFS Ilheiros 0–7 Cazadores Cathair
AS Marcadia 1–2 KT Koroatuz
Ross Railway 0–0 Hibernação (0–1 AET)
Bombarralense 1–0 Laranjeiras
Sparta Zijweg 1–1 CC Exiles (3–1 AET)
Laivana JPS 5–0 Burnfax Trinity
Huiszwalluw FC 0–3 Corações
Burdoc Ridge 0–3 Lemmitania State FC
1830 Cathair 1–6 AC Izotz Zubia
Edina City 0–4 KT Itzalovalle
Santa Margarida 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Sporting Clube Marinheiros 0–2 CF Daineri
Orquideas 0–1 Isle of Kjeligsted FC
Maccabi Hasiera 1–0 C.D. Portobranco

Kirola Cup Second Round
Tout-Puissant Hasiera 3–1 Calcio Lecho
Shamrock Cathair 1–0 Necromarinai
Ceilerden Harp 1–0 Crossport Mariners
Lawport FC 1–1 AC Izotz Zubia (1–1 AET) (5–4 pen.)
Bombarralense 2–0 Oljestaden IF
Alistoun Academicals 1–1 Isle of Kjeligsted FC (2–1 AET)
Excelsior Zijweg 0–1 KT Koroatuz
Eletti Valligiani 2–0 Union Cathair
Sparta Zijweg 1–0 Lemmitania State FC
CdF Celtade 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
Frecce 0–5 KT Moreazerua
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–1 Guerrilla Cathair
Cazadores Cathair 3–0 Sobrevolante
Fundición 0–0 Corações (0–1 AET)
Maccabi Hasiera 0–3 Laivana JPS
CF Daineri 1–0 Hibernação

Kirola Cup Third Round
Sparta Zijweg 2–0 Corações
Guerrilla Cathair 0–0 Ceilerden Harp (0–0 AET) (2–4 pen.)
Laivana JPS 1–0 KT Itzalovalle
KT Koroatuz 0–1 Bombarralense
Lawport FC 0–0 Eletti Valligiani (0–0 AET) (3–5 pen.)
Alistoun Academicals 3–1 Tout-Puissant Hasiera
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 KT Moreazerua
Shamrock Cathair 1–1 CF Daineri (1–1 AET) (3–4 pen.)

Kirola Cup Quarter Final
CF Daineri 2–0 Ceilerden Harp
Alistoun Academicals 1–1 Bombarralense (2–2 AET) (4–3 pen.)
Sparta Zijweg 0–1 Eletti Valligiani
Cazadores Cathair 3–1 Laivana JPS

Kirola Cup Semi Final
Eletti Valligiani 0–0 CF Daineri (0–0 AET) (4–5 pen.)
Alistoun Academicals 1–3 Cazadores Cathair

Kirola Cup Final
CF Daineri 0–3 Cazadores Cathair

The story of the Kirola Cup is newly promoted CF Daineri reaching, and losing, their first Kirola Cup final, though theirs is not the biggest upset performance of the campaign. An all-star clash in round one between 1830 Cathair and AC Izotz Zubia results in the former losing six-one at home to their national rivals. Zozi are still laughing by the time Lawport come calling, and a largely reserve side are toppled by the third tier outfit in the biggest cup upset in living memory.

In the final, Rook Cathar's Cazadores are too much for Daineri, who hold the line for the first half before Wilhelm Hielscher-Zendagorta's breakthrough. Harmon Mulvahill's deflected far-post finish makes it two, and Obadele Volonte nods in the final goal to bring the cup back to Cathair.

by **Audioslavia** » Sun Mar 27, 2022 7:43 am

Season 19

It is famously impossible to properly analyse a National League table after only a handful of matchdays.

1 Shamrock Cathair            7    5   1   1    14    4  +10    16

Due to the nature of the league season, each team plays only twenty four games over the course of 34 weeks.

2 AC Izotz Zubia              9    5   1   3    13   10   +3    16

Down from the 28 games over 38 weeks, such was the case between seasons 9 and 18.

3 KT Itzalovalle              8    3   3   2     9    5   +4    12

The reason is simple.

4 Cazadores Cathair           6    3   2   1     9    4   +5    11

Fixture congestion.

5 Osarese Marcadia            6    3   1   2     9    9    0    10

With the amount of inter-associational tournaments in the multiverse, the bigger teams may be playing anywhere between three and twenty extra football matches over the course of a season.

6 Tenth Star Hasiera          7    3   1   3     8    9   −1    10

As such, the FFA insist the top flight teams play a maximum of 30 games - most recently 28 or 24.

7 CF Daineri                  5    3   0   2     9    9    0     9

If anything, it makes sure players aren't too tired for international call-ups, which are frequent among teams in the Audioslavian National League.

8 KT Moreazerua               6    2   2   2     7    8   −1     8

The National League has, despite itself, been one of the top leagues in the multiverse for a long time.

9 Union Cathair               6    2   0   4     7   11   −4     6

Due to the fact that 24 into 34 doesn't go, not every team plays every week.

10 KT Ferramendiak             6    2   0   4     5   10   −5     6

So after ten of the thirty-four matchdays, some teams have played nine times, some only four or five

11 Oljestaden IF               5    1   2   2     5    7   −2     5

As such, it's impossible to truly get an idea of what's happening, other than that the teams at the top have probably won a couple of games.

12 Bombarralense               6    1   1   4     4    9   −5     4

And that the team at the bottom are probably going to struggle all season.

13 1830 Cathair                5    0   2   3     0    4   −4     2

Oh. Hi there.

1830 Cathair The Teatimers / The Elders
Arena Kirola, (Cap: 77500). Cathair, Central

Domestic Honours - 15
COCANEFA Honours - 7
International Honours - 7
Squad
1. Lance Logan (19, G , BRO)
2. Grayson Fillar (23, D R, CMT)
3. Hernán Mata-Curie (18, D/M L, AUD)
4. Ramon MacMaster (22, M C, AUD)
5. Jack Menard (26, D C, EUR)
6. Kevin Sherwood (24, D C, EUR)
7. Thea Squarciafichi (27, F C, SVG)
8. Nicola Branić (26, DM C, ZRH)
9. Felixe Vetiver (19, F C, NPH)
10. Baillaire Fillar (22, AM C, CMT)
11. Antoine Letexier (26, AM RCL, AUD)
12. Tryfon Vlahilades (32, D L, VDR)
14. Maerhen Wake (21, M L, BRE)
15. Unax Goyenola (23, G , ASG)
16. Ilyana Brosch (35, D C, NPH)
17. Haarlem Routh (17, M C, AUD)
18. Caithe Shepherd (30, D R, BRE)
19. Valerién Tibère (22, D C, SVG)
20. Alex Sharp (22, F C, EUR)
21. Danil Lanziego (18, AM/F C, AUD)
Mng. Gareth Blackthorn (55, EUR)

Expected First XI
Goyenola - Fillar, Menard, Sherwood, Tibère, Mata-Curie - Branić, Fillar, Letexier - [Any two from Sharp/Squarciafichi/Vetiver]

The continued existence of Gareth Blackthorn at 1830 Cathair is a personal affront to fans of the club. This, after all, is the side that were absolutely always the best team in Audioslavia - and often the best team in the entire league - during each and every season of the old LigAnaia. This is a team whose fans saw their city rivals, Shamrock and Cazadores, bounce between the second and third flights for a generation while they themselves won league titles and Champions Cups. They saw Itzi relegated, almost twice, they saw Oljestaden lurch from crisis to crisis, Moreazerua struggle for an entire decade, all the while they set record after record for silverware. Only AC Izotz Zubia and Osarius's Hastmead Diamante managed to keep pace, but only just.

The advent of the National League era shuffled the pack a little, with Cathair struggling to fourth in season one, but it was a mere blip. Cathair finished between 1st and 3rd between seasons two and fourteen, won another Champions League, four more league titles, two regional titles and a Kirola Cup. The greatest players in the multiverse turned out for the side, most notably the Teus superstar Thorsten Kramer, a powerful number ten who carried the team on his back for almost a decade.

At the end of Kramer's tenure in midfield, 1830 Cathair finished fifth in the league. A blip? Everyone thought so, but then they did it again the next season, and again in season seventeen -- Blackthorn's first in charge of the club. The side did, however, win the Kirola Cup, and were presumed to have turned the corner until last season. They slumped to eighth.

For a club of this size, finishing eighth and outside of the IFCF spots is literally unheard of. It's never happened. The team is too big to fail like this, but fail it has. Since their last league title in season twelve, the Elders have failed to keep the pace with modern football. Zozi improved under Ager Alaba and won the league. Shamrock won the title with Alexander Crewe at the helm. Rook Cathar improved Caza's fitness, instilled a lethal bloodymindedness in his players and watched them not only win the league, but take back-to-back IFCF Champions League titles.

Cut to this season. Cathair spent the first four matchdays on the sidelines, their first game scheduled only for matchday five, and what a matchup it would be, with AC Izotz Zubia waiting for them. Zozi had endured their own torrid start to the season, but a solitary goal from Elek Salai would enough to take all three points, and from there a dispirited Cathair side lurched from disaster to disaster, soundly beaten at home by Shamrock, held by Cazadores and Itzi and finally defeated by Mozi on matchday ten. Just under a third of the way through the season, Cathair are on two points, zero wins and zero goals scored. It's a humiliation for Audioslavia's most storied club.

And yet. Those clubs. Cazadores, Shamrock, Zozi, Mozi, Itzi, are the five biggest and best sides in the country. Cathair have run an absolute gauntlet and have been thoroughly perforated, but coming up in the second quarter of the season is a run of games against the supposedly weaker sides in the league. The first of that group? Osarese Marcadia, a team whose fourth place finish last season earned them some Champions League football that may well cause enough of a distraction for Cathair to finally get that first win of the campaign.

Matchday 11
National League
Osarese Marcadia 1–3 1830 Cathair
KT Ferramendiak 2–5 Cazadores Cathair
Bombarralense 3–2 Shamrock Cathair
CF Daineri 0–4 KT Itzalovalle
Oljestaden IF 0–0 AC Izotz Zubia

Given the choice between concentrating on the league or their IFCF campaign, Osarese made the controversial decision to go for the former. Ousted from both the Champions League and the Challengers Cup at the first time of asking, Osarese have only three wins from seven games to show for their decision to concentrate on domestic football. Manager Fabio Mancini has been criticised for his uncharacteristic timidity, and it's that timidity that undoes the side against struggling Cathair. Trying to defend throughout the first half, Osarese go behind to an Alex Sharp strike after twenty minutes and quickly capitulate as the strike force of Sharp and Squarciafichi run riot.

Cathair, however, are still at the foot of the table.

National League              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             10    5   2   3    13   10   +3    17
 2 Shamrock Cathair            8    5   1   2    16    7   +9    16
 3 KT Itzalovalle              9    4   3   2    13    5   +8    15
 4 Cazadores Cathair           7    4   2   1    14    6   +8    14
 5 Tenth Star Hasiera          7    3   1   3     8    9   −1    10
 6 Osarese Marcadia            7    3   1   3    10   12   −2    10
 7 CF Daineri                  6    3   0   3     9   13   −4     9
 8 KT Moreazerua               6    2   2   2     7    8   −1     8
 9 Bombarralense               7    2   1   4     7   11   −4     7
10 Oljestaden IF               6    1   3   2     5    7   −2     6
11 Union Cathair               6    2   0   4     7   11   −4     6
12 KT Ferramendiak             7    2   0   5     7   15   −8     6
13 1830 Cathair                6    1   2   3     3    5   −2     5

The story of 1830 Cathair's early season is that of Blackthorn's failure to get his new players working together. A frantic transfer window saw money splurged on Nepharan teenage sensation Felixe Vetiver, Euran international Kevin Sherwood, Brenecians Caithe Shepherd and Maerhen Wake and veteran Nepharan centre-half Ilyana Brosch, along with young Astograthian goalkeeper Unax Goyenola to replace Kuter in nets, with the Daineri heading the other way.

Out the door go Ross Okano on a free to rivals Cazadores, along with long time servants Xaime Medal and Brannigan Burley, as well as first-teasers Stani Gross, Erik Moselle, Lázaro Patrón, Anselm Koerner and World Cup winner Minne van Schelven. After all is said and done, Blackthorn ends up with a defensive-minded side with three world class strikers who, initially... have no idea how to work with one another.

Young Euran Alex Sharp isn't quite the diminutive goal poacher his grandfather or father was. Taller and more chiselled, Sharp an all-action forward who has increasingly found himself dropping back to make a nuisance of himself in midfield. Saviliagnese Squarciafichi is more the Lee Sharp of the trio, staying on the shoulders of the defensive line and ready to pick off any scraps, and has been Cathair's top scorer these past two seasons. Newcomer Felixe Vetiver has Audioslavian-level speed and fitness and Nepharam-level technique and mentality. There should, somewhere, be a way for any two of these three to play off of one another.

Zero goals in those first five games would seem to suggest otherwise. Vetiver, who started all of those five games, either on the left side of Sharp or Squarciafichi, was dropped for last week's victory over Osarese and Blackthorn leaves his prize acquisition on the bench once more for the visit of KT Ferramendiak.

Matchday 12
National League
AC Izotz Zubia 3–2 Union Cathair
KT Itzalovalle 2–0 Oljestaden IF
Shamrock Cathair 0–1 CF Daineri
Cazadores Cathair 1–0 Bombarralense
1830 Cathair 0–0 KT Ferramendiak
KT Moreazerua 1–2 Osarese Marcadia

In previous seasons, either Sharp or Squarciafichi would have featured either side of Erik Moselle, a player whose link-up play the club relied upon until his departure. Tasked with linking up between one another once more, they find Feri's defensive triangle of Ixaka Lizarzaburu, Euan MacArthur and Finn Townsend far too strong and too wily and, when they do manage to break through, teenage goalkeeper Constance Creighton - on loan from Shamrock Cathair for the season - impenetrable at the back. Sharp and Squarciafichi's woes can be summarised in what happened on seventy-two minutes - Sharp bringing the ball past MacArthur, turning, waiting for Squarciafichi to dart past on the overlap, and playing a reverse ball behind the striker rather than the right-footed forward pass the Savigliana had been expecting. Squarciafichi's sprint grinds to an exasperated halt, and the number seven's frustrations are compounded by their substitution for Vetiver a minute later. Vetiver, tasked with continuing Squarciafichi's number-nine role rather than her preferred all-action give-me-the-ball routine, finds herself with nothing to do but find herself five yards from every wayward pass launched in her general direction.

Matchday 13
National League
KT Ferramendiak 0–3 KT Moreazerua
Bombarralense 1–5 1830 Cathair
CF Daineri 0–1 Cazadores Cathair
Oljestaden IF 0–2 Shamrock Cathair
Union Cathair 2–1 KT Itzalovalle
Tenth Star Hasiera 2–5 AC Izotz Zubia

Matchday 14
National League
KT Itzalovalle 5–1 Tenth Star Hasiera
Shamrock Cathair 0–1 Union Cathair
Cazadores Cathair 0–1 Oljestaden IF
1830 Cathair 3–0 CF Daineri
KT Moreazerua 0–0 Bombarralense
Osarese Marcadia 2–0 KT Ferramendiak

Vetiver plus Squarciafichi is the partnership Blackthorn chooses for the visit of CF Daineri the next week, amid rumours of internal strife between the two forwards. A barren first-half gives way to Vetiver forcing her way down the left early in the second, feinting a cut-back, feinting a cross to her strike partner and instead blasting in a near-post finish beyond a wrong-footed keeper. Vetiver again takes the game by the scruff of the neck five minutes later, blasting past Jerquaad on the left, cutting inside and curling a pass beyond Bombidillyo, before Kevin Sherwood heads in the third late on.

Matchday 15
National League
Bombarralense 2–3 Osarese Marcadia
CF Daineri 1–3 KT Moreazerua
Oljestaden IF 0–5 1830 Cathair
Union Cathair 0–1 Cazadores Cathair
Tenth Star Hasiera 1–3 Shamrock Cathair

Matchday 16
National League
Cazadores Cathair 4–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
1830 Cathair 5–0 Union Cathair
KT Moreazerua 1–0 Oljestaden IF
Osarese Marcadia 0–2 CF Daineri
KT Ferramendiak 0–0 Bombarralense

Cathair score ten goals in two games. Vetiver grabs four of the five against Oljestaden, with Squarciafichi grabbing the other. Sharp is preferred to Squarciafichi for the next game against struggling Union, and it's the Euran's turn to shine, grabbing a first-half brace before turning provider first for Letexier and then for Vetiver, who herself wins a late penalty which Sharp blasts home for the hat-trick.

Cathair may have figured things out, and just in time for the half-way stage.

Matchday 17
National League
CF Daineri 1–2 KT Ferramendiak
Oljestaden IF 2–1 Osarese Marcadia
Union Cathair 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Tenth Star Hasiera 1–1 1830 Cathair

If anything can bring your team back down to earth, it's a rain-soaked Hasiera in mid-winter. Alex Sharp scores early, finishing past Marcus Mosco with a far-post diving header from Vetiver's long diagonal ball. Vetiver herself goes close shortly after, twisting two Tenth Star defenders into knots before slotting a finish onto the foot of the right hand post. Baillaire Fillar bursts through shortly afterwards and can only find Mosco's torso with a shot, before Sharp's attempted near-post finish finds the side netting and Vetiver drags two long-range efforts narrowly wide before half-time.

Then, early in the second half, the rain starts falling more heavily and Dunerth DuFour levels with Tenth Star's first shot of the game, a finish of a bouncing ball after a poorly dealt-with corner, and all of a sudden Cathair's new found confidence dissipates. Vetiver runs herself into the ground, gets replaced by Squarciafichi, and it's the Savigliana that has the best of Audioslavia's late-game chances, killing a drilled cross dead with her left foot and blasting it past Mosco with the right, only to see her effort ricochet off the bottom of the bar, on the line, and out.

The haters go back to posting clown emojis on twit.tur, but at the half-way stage, Cathair aren't all that far away...

National League              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair          12    8   2   2    21    7  +14    26
 2 AC Izotz Zubia             12    7   2   3    21   14   +7    23
 3 Shamrock Cathair           12    7   1   4    21   10  +11    22
 4 KT Itzalovalle             12    6   3   3    21    8  +13    21
 5 KT Moreazerua              12    6   3   3    16   11   +5    21
 6 1830 Cathair               12    5   4   3    22    7  +15    19
 7 Osarese Marcadia           12    6   1   5    18   19   −1    19
 8 CF Daineri                 12    5   0   7    14   22   −8    15
 9 Union Cathair              12    4   0   8    12   22  −10    12
10 Oljestaden IF              12    3   3   6     8   18  −10    12
11 KT Ferramendiak            12    3   2   7     9   21  −12    11
12 Tenth Star Hasiera         12    3   2   7    13   27  −14    11
13 Bombarralense              12    2   3   7    10   20  −10     9

by **Audioslavia** » Fri Jun 03, 2022 5:43 am

Bombarralense Os Bombardeiros
Estadio das Trevas, (Cap: 17500). Bombarral, Lusitâninha

Domestic Honours - 0
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Uolleys (37, G , DAI)
2. Patrick Read (24, D R, EUR)
3. Muuna Kentar (43, D L, MRN)
4. Cechy (26, M RC, DAI)
5. Gabriele Crovo (25, DM C, AUD)
6. Gastão Fagundes (23, D/M C, AUD)
7. Max Rizzo (30, M/F L, CBP)
8. Tray Mohaupt (33, M C, SPM)
9. Cillian Hurdly (30, F C, AUD)
10. Giacomo Rossi (26, F C, AUD)
11. Rylan Bishop (27, M L, TKT)
12. Daczibog Ketadzic (38, D C, SRS)
13. Chase Hernandes (19, D LC, AUD)
14. Petrus Maslin (28, M R, NPH)
15. Ezara Wild (21, AM C, AUD)
16. Jacob Marley (33, DM C, MUR)
19. Juan José Pasillas (24, D/M C, AUD)
20. Joaquim Neto (18, AM C, AUD)
21. Antoni Moigne (33, AM R, AUD)
22. Reinhart Nijssen (24, D C, AUD)
Mng. Guillem Rodas (47, D/M L, AUD)

Expected First XI
Uolleys - Read, Fagundes, Tentar - Crovo, Marley, Mohaupt, Chechy, Bishop - Rossi, Rizzo

Bomba are as unpredictable as their namesake - either explosive or a dud. Rylan Bishop and Max Rizzo have long been the team's dual threat up front, with former Marcadia striker Giacomo Rossi providing an important playmaking role in recent years, but in truth the side haven't looked like getting up to the upper echelons of the table for some time - at least since their season 14 seventh place. Nevertheless, the side remain top-flight stalwarts, staying up when newcomers falter. And speaking of newcomers...

CF Daineri Os Brilhantes
Batmacumbastadion, (Cap: 14200). Corvidra, Ocorno

Domestic Honours - 0
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Bombidillyo (37, G , DAI)
2. Jerquaad (31, D CR, DAI)
3. Axel Tesoro (31, D L, AUD)
4. Olena Zinchenko (19, M C, TJU)
5. Akakios Demotis (17, M C, VDR)
6. Stamatios Christakos (26, D C, VDR)
7. Circe (33, F C, DAI)
8. Aloha (31, M/F C, DAI)
9. Menderchuk (38, F C, DAI)
10. Tim Kewell (27, F C, STR)
11. Coridai (30, F C, DAI)
12. Lyndis (39, M/AM C, DAI)
13. Futuyna (38, G , DAI)
14. Aranha (37, M/F C, DAI)
15. Amone Forlenza (25, D C, MCO)
16. Reese Russell (19, D RCL, EFL)
17. Mauithay (31, M C, DAI)
18. Ysaak (31, D RCL, DAI)
19. Andrés Calvo (19, D C, AUD)
21. Branadru (40, G , DAI)
Mng. Winfridh (43, G , DAI)

Expected First XI
Bombidillyo - Jerquaad, Tesoro, Christakos, Russell - Zinchenko, Lyndis, Demotis - Aranha, Aloha, Kewell

CF Daineri's ascent from the fourth and third flights to the highest level of Audioslavian football has been stratospheric. They may not be Audioslavia's first top flight club founded by ex-pats - Tenth Star beat them by a few decades - but they are indeed Audioslavia's first side from Ocorno. Nicknamed 'The Hook' or 'The Horn', Ocorno is the northernmost tip of Audioslavia, with the Wightsea to the north and the larger continent of Aurora to the east. Largely Lusitanian-speaking and with a large expat community from Dainer, CF Daineri rapidly became the largest club in the city of Corvidra (worry not, Mertians, it's a combination of local dialect words for 'crow' and 'glass').

CF Daineri have attracted a lot of the Daineri footballers that had previously played elsewhere, snatching the likes of Circe, Lyndis, Futuyna, Aranha, Jerquaad and Bombidillyo from rival Audioslavian clubs and adding an array of foreign talent, from Strayaroos's Tim Kewell to the Vdaran partnership of Akakios Demotis and Stamtios Christakos. Nobody knew quite what to make of them at first, but five wins from their first twelve games have catapulted the side into eighth at the halfway stage.

Matchday 18
National League
Tenth Star Hasiera 0–1 KT Moreazerua
Union Cathair 2–4 Osarese Marcadia
Oljestaden IF 0–0 KT Ferramendiak
CF Daineri 2–3 Bombarralense

CFD take an early lead against Bomba through Tim Kewell, but Bombarralense rally to take the lead themselves via a Rossi spot-kick and Max Rizzo's far-post strike before seemingly sealing the three points through Jacob Marley's deflected strike. Daineri, however, can never really be written off, and Mauithay's late goal sparks a fightback that almost, but not quite, levels the scores at the end.

Osarese Marcadia The Phoenix
Stadio Fabio Mancini, (Cap: 21000). Marcadia, Padia

Domestic Honours - 1
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Saoirise (31, G , DAI)
2. Michael Jensen (34, D R, AUD)
3. Jan Galcirena (27, D L, AUD)
4. Tayaaga Romneir (31, D C, MRN)
5. Daniel MacCowan (32, D CR, AUD)
6. Declan MacCowan (32, M C, AUD)
7. Jiang Jieren (23, M R, YZH)
8. Phil Cole (26, AM C, TMB)
9. Esro Sepúlveda (25, F C, AUD)
10. Garnett Makanza (29, F C, CBR)
11. Bong Min-Joong (22, M L, QUE)
13. Shinji Teruzuki (30, G , OSR)
15. Bryson O'Lara (25, D C, EFL)
16. Bryton Menheniot (33, DM C, APX)
18. Dane Pridgeon (29, M C, COS)
19. Johan Simundsen (30, M L, SVJ)
20. Helios Roy (16, AM/F C, AUD)
21. Pearl Morgan (36, AM C, OSR)
21. Apollonius Yaw (17, M C, AUD)
Mng. Fabio Mancini (46, M C, OSR)

Expected First XI
Teruzuki - Jensen, Romneir, O'Lara, Dan MacCowan - Min-Joong, Dec MacCowan, Cole, Jieren - Sepúlveda, Makanza

Fabiano Mancini's decision to largely ignore IFCF football in favour of concentrating on the league hasn't paid off in terms of increasing his team's chances of getting into the mix for Champions League football next year. The Osarian has been criticised for his timidity on the interassociational, but a glance at the man's squad suggests he's simply doing what he can with what he has. Osarese's squad is thin, around 30 years old on average and simply can't withstand the strain of two games per week without heavy rotation.

Mancini is once again being linked with moves to bigger sides, but has time and again stated that he is not interested in jobs elsewhere in Audioslavia.

Tenth Star Hasiera The Syndicate
Syndicate Stadium, (Cap: 56000). Hasiera, La Chaine

Domestic Honours - 0
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 1
Squad
1. Marcus Mosco (33, G , AUD)
2. Andrey Orlov (22, M R, PYA)
3. Ludvig Gram (33, D L, AUD)
4. Martin Staunt-Anderson (25, DM C, ZWZ)
5. Corey Dow (33, D C, AUD)
6. Donna Eclis (23, DM C, MRT)
7. Memphis Garlick (30, M/F R, AUD)
8. Neron Everdell (24, AM C, MRT)
9. Grigori Caraveo (28, M C, AUD)
10. Labinot Ruscoe (30, F C, NPH)
11. Anya Mann (28, M/F L, MRT)
12. Driyundar (29, D/F C, DAI)
13. Alexander McPahan (28, M CR, AUD)
14. Jack McAdams (28, F C, AUD)
15. Tonnis Boom (32, D/M LCR, AUD)
16. George Bell (31, M C, AUD)
17. Dunerth DuFour (30, F C, GVN)
18. Dalton Speare (16, G , AUD)
19. Tedecho MacAughtrie (18, D LC, AUD)
20. Lance Burns (31, F C, AUD)
Mng. Harrison McIntyre (37, F C, AUD)

Expected First XI
Mosco - Driyundar, Gram, Dow - Staunt-Anderson - Orlov, Mann, Caraveo, Everdell - Ruscoe, DuFour

Tenth Star Hasiera have been favourites to go down pretty much every time they've been in the top flight - which tends to be once every three seasons or so. A proud team lacking the funding of their foes to the north, Tenth Star do what they can with what they have - which generally isn't much. They attract attention from Mertagnians, for whose diaspora the team were created, and as such can generally be relied upon to have one or two Mertagnian players, of whom Neron Everdell and Anya Mann are two of the team's most important players.

Matchday 19
National League
Bombarralense 0–0 Oljestaden IF
KT Ferramendiak 1–0 Union Cathair
Osarese Marcadia 2–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
KT Itzalovalle 0–0 AC Izotz Zubia

Bong Min-Joon's far-post finish and Phil Cole's second-half strike are enough to keep Tenth Star at the bottom and propel Osarese to an unlikely second in the table. To stay there, they'll need to avoid injuries and work hard until the end of the season.

National League           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair          12    8   2   2    21    7  +14    26
 2 Osarese Marcadia           14    8   1   5    24   21   +3    25
 3 AC Izotz Zubia             13    7   3   3    21   14   +7    24
 4 KT Moreazerua              13    7   3   3    17   11   +6    24
 5 KT Itzalovalle             13    6   4   3    21    8  +13    22
 6 Shamrock Cathair           12    7   1   4    21   10  +11    22
 7 1830 Cathair               12    5   4   3    22    7  +15    19
 8 CF Daineri                 13    5   0   8    16   25   −9    15
 9 KT Ferramendiak            14    4   3   7    10   21  −11    15
10 Oljestaden IF              14    3   5   6     8   18  −10    14
11 Bombarralense              14    3   4   7    13   22   −9    13
12 Union Cathair              14    4   0  10    14   27  −13    12
13 Tenth Star Hasiera         14    3   2   9    13   30  −17    11

AC Izotz Zubia Zozi
Soldaduak Eremuaberria, (Cap: 52180). Izotzazubia , Herradura

Domestic Honours - 16
COCANEFA Honours - 4
International Honours - 7
Squad
1. Röémün Çídh (30, F C, FFD)
3. Atole Kaplan (24, D L, KOR)
4. Chloe Vischa (31, D/M C, NPH)
5. Grigorij Savicevic (30, D C, MYT)
6. Michael Christie (30, D C, SCT)
7. Unai Cappadonna (19, M C, AUD)
8. Lothaire Cromwell (29, M C, NPH)
9. Yokin Erdokiain (26, F C, ASG)
10. Elek Salai (25, M/F CL, PAS)
11. Eskuin Nekol (27, M L, ASG)
12. Ferus (22, G , DAI)
14. Olavo Larrea (19, D/M R, AUD)
15. Abarran Lizarraga (26, M/F RC, AUD)
16. Noor Ali (33, D C, BRO)
17. Domiku Bergara (33, DM C, ASG)
18. Giacomo Durán (26, D R, AUD)
24. Julho Viscondessas (20, AM/F C, AUD)
27. Curipurinho (17, G , AUD)
Mng. Ager Alaba (52, M C, ASG)

Expected First XI
Ferus - Kaplan, Savicevic, Christie - Nekol, Bergara, Duran - Salai, Cappadonna, Cromwell - Erdokiain

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it" is a phrase that Ager Alaba has no time for. As far as he's concerned, you can write it on the gravestones of every private business that ever folded. To continue to win, your side needs to continue to evolve. As such, Alaba's 4-5-1 formation of last season has switched to either a 3-6-1 or a 5-4-1 or even a 3-3-4 depending on which way you look at it. Elek Salai, used as a centre forward last season, has taken a more withdrawn position with last year's super-sub Yokin Erdokiain entrusted with attacking duties. The sales of Kalactinian pairing Butler and Martinez has opened the door not only for Eskuin Nekol as the side's primary winger, but also Giacomo Duran to get forward and Atole Kaplan to stamp his authority either at left wing-back or on the left side of a back four, where Alaba seems to prefer him.

The new look Zozi have made quiet progress to a 7-3-3 record so far, which is enough to have fans antsy and newspapers asking vague and ridiculous questions about the future of the club. Alaba, the press forget, is the man who helped his side to three league championships in his first eight seasons at the club, along with two Cup Winners Cup trophies and an appearance in the Champions League final. In that time, rivals 1830 Cathair have precisely zero title wins. The record holder for most National League winners medals no longer belongs to Cathair on four, but instead Zozi on a whopping seven from eighteen seasons.

Zozi's main rivals are typically portrayed as being KT Moreazerua, but in recent years fans have pointed to all three Cathair clubs as their primary bêtes noire.

This season, they have to play the three main Cathair clubs - Shamrock, Caza and 1830 - back to back.

Matchday 20
National League
AC Izotz Zubia 3–3 Shamrock Cathair
Tenth Star Hasiera 1–2 KT Ferramendiak
Union Cathair 0–1 Bombarralense
Oljestaden IF 1–2 CF Daineri

None of the big teams seem capable of stealing a march on the rest this season. The stalemate is evident in Izotzazubia, where Elek Salai puts the side into a one-and-then-two goal lead only for Sho Ito and Gabriel Bulavelli to negate the deficit before half-time and for Emilia Torgersen to grab what her side hopes to be the winning goal eight minutes from time. Astograthian forward Yokin Erdokiain is on hand, however, to divert a wayward Larrea shot into the opposite corner to save a point for a home side that, in just three days time, will travel to Cathair to face Shamrock's city rivals Cazadores.

Matchday 21
National League
CF Daineri 0–2 Union Cathair
Bombarralense 0–1 Tenth Star Hasiera
Cazadores Cathair 6–1 AC Izotz Zubia
Shamrock Cathair 2–1 KT Itzalovalle

One problem Zozi has this season is squad depth. Shorn of players with fatigue or nursing strains, Alaba opts for off-form centre half Michael Christie and newcomer Noor Ali as his central defensive partnership in a back four, with the expansive Larrea and Duran on full-back duties. It spectacularly doesn't work. Wilhelm Hielscher-Zendagorta has Ali in his pocket for a first half in which he scores twice and provides one each for De Souza and Benitez. Centre half Ross Okano, signed on a free from rivals 1830, thunders in a header to make it five-nil right after the break. Nekol grabs a consolation for Zozi, but the salmon and silvers are too lax at the back while searching for a second rely and Wilhelm is on hand again right at the death to heap on the misery for the reigning champions.

Matchday 22
National League
KT Itzalovalle 0–2 Cazadores Cathair
AC Izotz Zubia 0–1 1830 Cathair
Tenth Star Hasiera 1–1 CF Daineri
Union Cathair 1–1 Oljestaden IF

It's only four days between the Cazadores shellacking and the return to Izotzazubia to host Cathair, and while key players like Savicevic and Cromwell are available once again, this is a well-rested Cathair side intent on storming their way back up the table. It's an even game at the Soldaduak Eremuaberria, but Thea Squarciafichi comes off the bench to finish past Ferus late on and cap off a miserable week for the champions.

Cathair suddenly have three games in hand on Zozi and are only three points behind. Above them, Caza lead Shamrock by six points, with the two capital clubs due to meet on matchday twenty-three.

National League              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair          14   10   2   2    29    8  +21    32
 2 Shamrock Cathair           14    8   2   4    26   14  +12    26
 3 Osarese Marcadia           14    8   1   5    24   21   +3    25
 4 AC Izotz Zubia             16    7   4   5    25   24   +1    25
 5 KT Moreazerua              13    7   3   3    17   11   +6    24
 6 1830 Cathair               13    6   4   3    23    7  +16    22
 7 KT Itzalovalle             15    6   4   5    22   12  +10    22
 8 CF Daineri                 16    6   1   9    19   29  −10    19
 9 KT Ferramendiak            15    5   3   7    12   22  −10    18
10 Bombarralense              16    4   4   8    14   23   −9    16
11 Union Cathair              17    5   1  11    17   29  −12    16
12 Oljestaden IF              16    3   6   7    10   21  −11    15
13 Tenth Star Hasiera         17    4   3  10    16   33  −17    15

Cazadores Cathair Caza
El Ruedo, (Cap: 42500). Cathair, Central

Domestic Honours - 5
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 3
Squad
1. Juxon Fillar (29, G , CMT)
2. Angelo Castaldo (36, D/M LCR, AUD)
3. Harmon Mulvahill (25, D L, KOR)
5. Ross Okano (37, D C, KRY)
6. Inteali Koranjo (27, D C, VIL)
7. Kepler Marcel Gouveia de Souza (22, AM C, QUE)
8. Adrian Toscani (29, AM C, SVG)
9. Wilhelm Hielscher-Zendagorta (23, AM/F C, STL)
10. Cristian Benitez (27, AM C, VLD)
12. Claudio Casimiro (33, D RC, AUD)
13. Cristos Harding (26, D C, EFL)
15. Eneko Rolondu (28, M CL, AUD)
16. John McGraw (30, D/M LC, AUD)
18. Zorion Santisteban (30, M LC, AUD)
19. Qaqilek (25, G , DAI)
20. Azariah MacCormack (23, F C, AUD)
22. Aníbal Borges (24, DM C, AUD)
32. Tiago Brown (29, D/M R, AUD)
Mng. Rook Cathar (57, F LCR, NPH)

Expected First XI
Fillar - Mulvahill, Okano, Koranjo, Brown - Borges, McGraw - Toscani, Benitez, de Souza - Hielscher-Zendagorta

Caza's strength comes from a mobile, versatile forward line of Toscani, Benitez, de Souza and Hielscher-Zendagorta, each of whom can be relied upon, at any given point, to score a tap-in or a header or to provide either for each other from in deep, down the wing or inside the area. For Teus Hielscher-Zendagorta and Quebecois de Souza, this all comes as second nature, having been developed through the Caza system from a young age, while club captain Toscani generally pulls the strings.

At the back, the loss of Obadele Volonte to Directus has hurt a side naturally inclined to play three at the back, with Ross Okano coming in to support Inteali Koranjo in a back four often left exposed by the marauding Tiago Brown who, now 29, has lost none of his natural attacking instinct but has started to decline in other areas, most notably his acceleration - which was half his game - and his inclination to get back into a defensive position.

Shamrock Cathair Shammers
Glass Bridge Stadium, (Cap: 31500). Cathair, Central

Domestic Honours - 4
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 1
Squad
1. Kazimir Sliva (37, G , AUD)
2. Carmelo MacCowan (30, D/M LCR, AUD)
3. Aron McKenna (30, D L, TJU)
4. Archer Flat (30, D C, AUD)
5. Ffibwd yTewgneoll (27, D C, KOR)
7. Sho Itō (26, M/F R, SQR)
8. Gabriel Buvalelli (25, M C, SVG)
10. Emilia Torgersen (23, AM C, VAL)
11. Rosewing (32.5, F C, EQS)
12. Viðar Adriansson (35, D C, GRF)
13. Edith Fillar (20, M L, CMT)
15. Archer Andrews (28, F C, TJU)
16. Oran Anders (26, D C, AUD)
18. Sandy Harkness (16, D C, AUD)
19. Fergus Sloan (32, M L, GRU)
21. Fraser Mackintosh (21, D LC, AUD)
22. Thomas McFarland (33, G , AUD)
26. Lucas Keir (20, D/M C, AUD)
29. Cohen MacVicar (19, M C, AUD)
Mng. Alexander Crewe (41, F C, APX)

Expected First XI
McFarland - McKenna, Flat, Anders, MacCowan - Keir - Fillar, Buvalelli, Torgersen, Itō - Andrews

Buvalelli and Torgersen are a hellish midfield duo for this Shamrock side, supported by young Audioslavian Lucas Keir in midfield and aided on the wings by fan-favourite Sho Itō and the other other other Fillar - youngest sibling Edith. Up front, Archer Andrews used to be linked with moves away after occupying the bench for most of his Shamrock career, but now finds himself as the club's main outlet in attack. Crewe has set up a powerful squad to dominate possession, and it's exactly this that they accomplish against Cazadores.

Matchday 23
National League
Oljestaden IF 1–0 Tenth Star Hasiera
KT Moreazerua 0–3 AC Izotz Zubia
1830 Cathair 2–0 KT Itzalovalle
Cazadores Cathair 0–1 Shamrock Cathair

Archer Andrews's far-post diving header silences a home crowd who'd been dreaming all week of a 7 points lead at the top of the table. Cathair move into the top four by getting revenge on KT Itzalovalle for their earlier reverse, consigning their opponents to mid-table for now, while Zozi get back to winning ways by thumping Mozi three goals to nothing.

National League              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Cazadores Cathair          15   10   2   3    29    9  +20    32
 2 Shamrock Cathair           15    9   2   4    27   14  +13    29
 3 AC Izotz Zubia             17    8   4   5    28   24   +4    28
 4 1830 Cathair               14    7   4   3    25    7  +18    25
 5 Osarese Marcadia           14    8   1   5    24   21   +3    25
 6 KT Moreazerua              14    7   3   4    17   14   +3    24
 7 KT Itzalovalle             16    6   4   6    22   14   +8    22
 8 CF Daineri                 16    6   1   9    19   29  −10    19
 9 KT Ferramendiak            15    5   3   7    12   22  −10    18
10 Oljestaden IF              17    4   6   7    11   21  −10    18
11 Bombarralense              16    4   4   8    14   23   −9    16
12 Union Cathair              17    5   1  11    17   29  −12    16
13 Tenth Star Hasiera         18    4   3  11    16   34  −18    15

KT Itzalovalle Itzi
The Antzerkia, (Cap: 48000). Ferramendiak, Herradura

Domestic Honours - 3
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Echepare Rospide (29, G , ASG)
2. Liza Price (32, D R, BRE)
3. Katua Byrne (23, M L, BRE)
4. Artizar Bailo (31, DM C, ASG)
5. Alejandro Consuegra (35, D C, AUD)
6. Garai Echevarrieta (36, D C, AUD)
7. Yuriorkis Stelea (25, M C, AUD)
8. Kausu Dione (36, F C, BNJ)
9. Claudio Vantula (26, F C, MRT)
10. Dreigiau Parrish (30, AM C, BRE)
12. Deon Tonnesen-Zegarra (26, D CL, AUD)
14. Eurico Da Rosa (33, AM/F C, AUD)
15. Floriano Côtescassées (29, D/M L, AUD)
16. Inigo Brandão (22, M CL, AUD)
17. Dunixi Oyangurengoitia (22, M R, AUD)
18. Eneko Burionagonatotorecagageazcoechea (32, M CR, AUD)
19. Kel Malaxetxebarria (23, M C, AUD)
20. Reynard Salama (26, D C, EFL)
22. Vianca (33, G , DAI)
Mng. Daniel Bernard (52, VLD)

Expected First XI
Rospide - Côtescassées, Consuegra, Echevarrieta, Price - Byrne, Stelea, Parrish, Oyangurengoitia - Vantula, Dione

Recent champions Itzi have a squad that looks as strong as that which won the title, but nevertheless they haven't been able to add any noteable silverware to it since season seventeen and find themselves mid-table with only eight games remaining. The side, like many in Audioslavia, rely on a midfield engine-room and, again like many Audioslavians, rely on a Brenecian to pull the strings, this one being Dreigiau Parrish.

KT Moreazerua Mozi
Ibarretako Estadioa, (Cap: 40000). Moreazerua, Herradura

Domestic Honours - 2
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Maren Artetxebarria (37, G , AUD)
2. Adélaïde Garcia (31, D C, SVG)
3. Valentinos Giannakos (32, D C, VDR)
4. Ronan Stenhouse (31, DM C, EUR)
5. Oran Coldcross (30, D C, AUD)
6. Máximo Andikoetxea (21, D/M C, AUD)
7. Mbdiai Akarenaa (39, M RCL, TUR)
8. Koldo Bazterrika (33, M LC, AUD)
9. Koenraad Rijsbergen (36, F C, AUD)
10. Olentzaro Karazatorre (31, F C, ASG)
11. Dashmati (27, AM CL, DAI)
12. Syerra (23, M R, DAI)
16. Reuben Corkhill (22, D/M C, AUD)
17. Garfield Etxeleku (25, M L, AUD)
18. Imauka Lkomorak (24, M CR, VIL)
19. Trevor Paraoan (29, AM/F C, FHU)
20. Zakuty (31, F C, DAI)
21. Ximen Errandonea (20, M R, AUD)
22. Errapel Balenziaga (36, D/M R, AUD)
37. Gael Morea (18, DM C, AUD)
43. Zebjan Istanjovich (49, G , SIC)
Mng. Alessandro Juliana (42, M CR, AUD)

Expected First XI
Artetxebarria - Garcia, Coldcross, Giannakos - Dashmati, Stenhouse, Corkhill, Syerra - Lkomorak - Rijsbergen, Karazatorre

On paper a large squad, it's entirely necessary for Mozi this season, what with a squad of many, many over-thirties, including Mbdiai Akarenaa 39 and substitute keeper Zebjan Istanjovich a whopping 49. Mozi are organized and hard to break down, and its that solid defensive quartet of Garcia, Giannakos, Stenhouse and Coldcross that prove the difference in Itzalovalle, with Rijsbergen popping up at the other end to head home the only goal of a game that will likely have zero impact on the wider title picture.

Matchday 24
National League
Shamrock Cathair 0–1 1830 Cathair
KT Itzalovalle 0–1 KT Moreazerua
AC Izotz Zubia 1–0 Osarese Marcadia
Tenth Star Hasiera 1–2 Union Cathair

Elsewhere, it's the Cathair leg of 1830's comeback tour, as they defeat hated rivals Shamrock via a Felixe Vetiver wonder-strike and, one week later...

Matchday 25
National League
KT Ferramendiak 1–5 AC Izotz Zubia
Osarese Marcadia 0–0 KT Itzalovalle
KT Moreazerua 2–1 Shamrock Cathair
1830 Cathair 2–1 Cazadores Cathair

...account for their other hated rivals. Alex Sharp is the man against the men from eastern Cathair, reaching a loose ball first to sweep it home for 1-0 and, after Caza's equaliser, directing a high, wayward cross beautifully into the path of Vetiver with a flick of his heel that takes out the entirety of Caza's back-line.

National League              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             19   10   4   5    34   25   +9    34
 2 Cazadores Cathair          16   10   2   4    30   11  +19    32
 3 1830 Cathair               16    9   4   3    28    8  +20    31
 4 KT Moreazerua              16    9   3   4    20   15   +5    30
 5 Shamrock Cathair           17    9   2   6    28   17  +11    29
 6 Osarese Marcadia           16    8   2   6    24   22   +2    26
 7 KT Itzalovalle             18    6   5   7    22   15   +7    23
 8 CF Daineri                 16    6   1   9    19   29  −10    19
 9 Union Cathair              18    6   1  11    19   30  −11    19
10 Oljestaden IF              17    4   6   7    11   21  −10    18
11 KT Ferramendiak            16    5   3   8    13   27  −14    18
12 Bombarralense              16    4   4   8    14   23   −9    16
13 Tenth Star Hasiera         19    4   3  12    17   36  −19    15

It's hard to believe this is the same Cathair side that had run the gauntlet so miserably in the first half of the season. Whereas the other Shamrock clubs, Zozi and the like made mincemeat of them early on, a run of successive victories against each and every one of them redresses the balance and means the Capital Club know that, if they can defeat Mozi next week, it's just a string of lower-table clubs between themselves and what is, now, a very realistic shot at the title.

Oljestaden IF Olga
Hygolje Arena, (Cap: 50000). Oljestaden, Hyland

Domestic Honours - 3
COCANEFA Honours - 1
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Donato Castillo (32, G , EFL)
2. Maas Hadler (40, D C, MRN)
3. Yon Maurtua (26, D L, ISK)
4. Thorian Nielsen (34, DM C, AUD)
5. Da Chong (28, D C, JOV)
6. Pelle Juergensen (38, D RC, AUD)
7. Axel Agard (33, AM CR, AUD)
8. Jensen Ostergard (27, DM C, AUD)
9. Eneco Carabello (31, F C, AUD)
10. Bertus Verschoor (33, F C, AUD)
11. Christiaan Kracht (30, D/M LC, AUD)
12. Ivan Sandiev (27, F LC, USR)
13. Vikingen (24, G , DAI)
14. Txordyn Coy (23, D/M RC, AUD)
18. Ike Hoogstraten (26, M C, AUD)
19. Jensen Fischer (26, D CR, AUD)
20. Hossam Nasiri (34, M C, AUD)
21. Tjapko Van der Ende (19, D C, AUD)
91. Cocoabo #91 (??, F CR, COF)
Mng. Tomas Kristofics (50, DM C, PIS)

Expected First XI
Your guess is as good as mine

I hadn't realised we hadn't done Oljestaden yet. They don't play over these next two matchdays. If they did, I'm sure they'd have drawn and lost. I mean it's Oljestaden. They're always in the top flight, they're never relevant. Why do I have to always do a preview on them? Nobody is going to care that Oljestaden don't get a preview.

Matchday 26
National League
Cazadores Cathair 2–1 KT Moreazerua
Shamrock Cathair 2–0 Osarese Marcadia
KT Itzalovalle 2–4 KT Ferramendiak
AC Izotz Zubia 5–1 Bombarralense

Matchday 27
National League
CF Daineri 0–6 AC Izotz Zubia
Bombarralense 3–0 KT Itzalovalle
KT Ferramendiak 0–0 Shamrock Cathair
Osarese Marcadia 1–1 Cazadores Cathair
KT Moreazerua 2–2 1830 Cathair

National League              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             21   12   4   5    45   26  +19    40
 2 Cazadores Cathair          18   11   3   4    33   13  +20    36
 3 Shamrock Cathair           19   10   3   6    30   17  +13    33
 4 1830 Cathair               17    9   5   3    30   10  +20    32
 5 KT Moreazerua              18    9   4   5    23   19   +4    31
 6 Osarese Marcadia           18    8   3   7    25   25    0    27
 7 KT Itzalovalle             20    6   5   9    24   22   +2    23
 8 KT Ferramendiak            18    6   4   8    17   29  −12    22
 9 Bombarralense              18    5   4   9    18   28  −10    19
10 Union Cathair              18    6   1  11    19   30  −11    19
11 CF Daineri                 17    6   1  10    19   35  −16    19
12 Oljestaden IF              17    4   6   7    11   21  −10    18
13 Tenth Star Hasiera         19    4   3  12    17   36  −19    15

Cathair can only manage a draw with Mozi, who twice take the lead through Karazatorre through sloppy goals and are twice begged back by goals that come after long periods of hard graft by Cathair, who drop into fourth place but have a crucial game in hand (or four) on their title rivals. Mozi are there too, wide-eyed and jiggly-tailed and waiting to pounce, but few are looking beyond the capital for this season's champion, despite Zozi's impressive lead at the top. AC Izotz Zubia have spent the last two weeks smashing everyone, but remain in danger of being overhauled by any of the four teams below, who could catch and overtake by winning their games in hand and defeating Zozi face-to-face.

As long as they don't slip up, they're fine

KT Ferramendiak Feri
Burdina Jauregia, (Cap: 85000). Ferramendiak, Herradura

Domestic Honours - 1
COCANEFA Honours - 0
International Honours - 0
Squad
1. Jordan Yoda (38, G , AFT)
2. Guifré Menez (37, D R, AUD)
3. Per Frandsen (32, D CL, AUD)
4. Finn Townsend (34, DM C, BRE)
5. Ixaka Lizarzaburu (34, D C, AUD)
6. Yuri Gurkin (34, D C, AUD)
7. Creidne Lindauer (36, F C, BRE)
8. Corby Wheeler (35, M C, BRE)
9. Davide Laguardia (28, F C, AUD)
10. Izan Alvarenga (27, M LC, AUD)
11. Erroman Gorriaran (24, M LC, AUD)
12. Ronan Fallon (36, DM C, BRE)
13. Jiskastnya (31, F C, DAI)
14. Franco Almanzar (25, AM C, AUD)
16. Constance Creighton (19, G , AUD)
18. Gabriel Montilla (24, F C, AUD)
19. Zorion Mendizabal (25, D RC, AUD)
21. Errol Goncalves (22, D LC, AUD)
24. Euan MacArthur (21, D C, AUD)
Mng. Orson Faulkner (54, D CR, BRE)

Expected First XI
Creighton - Frandsen, Lizaburu, MacArthur - Gorriaran, Townsend, Fallon, Wheeler, Jikastyna - Lindauer

The key to getting a 'small club' (ignore that they're the second biggest club in the second biggest city. Feri excude smolness) to safety is apparently in luring every Brenecian shithouse you can to a club and having them be the General Grevious to the many lightsabres of local younguns and random journeymen. Also, if you can, get a young generational goalkeeper in on the action.

At nineteen years old Constance Creighton has stamped his authority not only on Feri's number one jersey, but also on many a league game. When needed, he's delivered, and although the incomparable Goran Stroud was already a nailed-on starter for the national team at the age, the incomparable Goran Stroud is incomparable.

Cazadores find out just how comparable Creighton is to the incomporable Goran Stroud on matchday twenty-eight.

Matchday 28
National League
1830 Cathair 2–0 Osarese Marcadia
Cazadores Cathair 0–1 KT Ferramendiak
Shamrock Cathair 0–0 Bombarralense
KT Itzalovalle 1–0 CF Daineri
AC Izotz Zubia 2–0 Oljestaden IF

and the young stopper isn't even done yet

Matchday 29
National League
Union Cathair 1–5 AC Izotz Zubia
Oljestaden IF 0–1 KT Itzalovalle
CF Daineri 1–1 Shamrock Cathair
Bombarralense 0–1 Cazadores Cathair
KT Ferramendiak 0–0 1830 Cathair
Osarese Marcadia 1–2 KT Moreazerua

National League              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 AC Izotz Zubia             23   14   4   5    52   27  +25    46
 2 Cazadores Cathair          20   12   3   5    34   14  +20    39
 3 1830 Cathair               19   10   6   3    32   10  +22    36
 4 Shamrock Cathair           21   10   5   6    31   18  +13    35
 5 KT Moreazerua              19   10   4   5    25   20   +5    34
 6 KT Itzalovalle             22    8   5   9    26   22   +4    29
 7 Osarese Marcadia           20    8   3   9    26   29   −3    27
 8 KT Ferramendiak            20    7   5   8    18   29  −11    26
 9 Bombarralense              20    5   5  10    18   29  −11    20
10 CF Daineri                 19    6   2  11    20   37  −17    20
11 Union Cathair              19    6   1  12    20   35  −15    19
12 Oljestaden IF              19    4   6   9    11   24  −13    18
13 Tenth Star Hasiera         19    4   3  12    17   36  −19    15

With Zozi continuing a monster run of form that sees the side pull seven points clear (yet still totally catchable by the rest of the top three), Cathair's failure to beat Feri narrows the margin for error somewhat on their fightback. AC Izotz Zubia, with five matches to go in the season, have only one more game to play before they're done for the year. They can get to a maximum of 49 points. Caza, in second, can reach 51, as can Cathair in third, while Shamrock can only reach 44 and are thus no longer in contention for the title, with draws against Bomba and Daineri scuppering any chance they had.

If the red and blue Cathair clubs keep winning, all season, then we're going down to Goal Difference.

Audioslavia Domestic Football Newswire

Season Twelve, Part 2

Season Twelve, Part 3

Season Thirteen, Part 1

Season Thirteen, Part 2

Season Thirteen, Part 3

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