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{BOLDSPORT} Low Quality Bonesea Sports News

PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 10:20 am
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 10:21 am
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{RESERVED - For future indexing}

{BOLDSPORT} Bonesligg

PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 10:24 am
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{BOLDSPORT} Skellingkop

PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 10:28 am
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{BOLDSPORT} National Team Records

PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 10:40 am
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{BOLDSPORT} Baptism of Fire 62

PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2016 11:49 am
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{BOLDSPORT} World Cup'75 Qualifying

PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2016 5:40 am
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{BOLDSPORT} World Cup '75 Finals

PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2016 6:07 am
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{BOLDSPORT} Bonesligg Season-574

PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2016 8:39 am
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{BOLDSPORT} Eagles Cup 6

PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2016 11:55 am
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{BOLDSPORT} Bonesligg Season-575

PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2016 2:17 am
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{BOLDSPORT} Tour of Esportonkin SB-576

PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2016 2:56 am
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{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-576

PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2016 3:05 am
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{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-577

PostPosted: Sun Nov 27, 2016 7:48 am
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{BOLDSPORT} World Cup'76 Qualifying

PostPosted: Tue Nov 29, 2016 2:53 am
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{BOLDSPORT} Cup of Harmony '68

PostPosted: Tue Nov 29, 2016 3:24 am
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{Boldsport} Domestic Season SB-578

PostPosted: Wed Nov 30, 2016 6:31 am
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Galacticos Index for UICA-66

PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2016 4:14 am
by Bonesea

Who will be the next Laborious Hawk*, Simeone de Bradini, or Val Kylx? [Actually, Laborious Hawk is still the Laborious Hawk and will probably be the next one, too]

Boldsport Magazine, proud purveyor of shoddy sports journalism since about last April, brings you the first in what is sure to be the global phenomenon of the Boldsports Sports Writers Awards for the greatest football players in the universe: The Galacticos Index.

Boldsport Editor-in-Chief, Izzy Worthette:

“Here we all are, gathered at the Royal Polarian Hotel up on Herring Island just north of Spittalsea, a day after the UICA Champions Cup 66 Final - congratulations to Real Azuris for a remarkable and thrilling win - and the time has come to announce the winners of the awards for player of the cycle, team of the cycle and young player of the cycle.

“Since a prestigious award of this magnitude is bound to attract the attention of big clubs to the lucky few who have been nominated for the awards, we have on hand football agent, dealmaker and notorious fixer Ezra Carp to analyse the market and the potential demands an agent - I mean a player - could make to jump into the transfer market. No doubt he’ll be talking up the market and touting for clients if he’s not busy so let’s keep an eye on him and his table of sheik friends over there, who look Gadiryan but certainly don’t sound it when you get up close to them. We also have television pundit Kirtland Straw here from our satellite television partner Spudnix Sports to recap some of the achievements of the nominees we have on the card tonight.

“It has been an exhaustive process to get to this point and the journalists who make up the panel of sports writers have followed no less than 224 players across the top of the game from 30-odd nations and 27 of the best clubs in world football. Since it would take all night just to list them all out, members of the audience here tonight have been provided with the ‘Longlonglist’ in their programmes.

Alan Moore (ETM), Directus
Gavin Mitchell (OSR), Directus
Mâás Fôx (FFD), Directus
Pedrinho (VAL), Directus
Felipe Ebenezer (USI), Directus
Takacs Endre (PAS), Directus
Fabio Quella (SAM), Directus
Joachim Elden (MBT), Directus
Sol Myren (SJG), Directus
Ethan Cooke (EUR), Directus
Andrew Watson (EUR), Directus
Craig Gilbert (EUR), Directus
Charles Hunter (EUR), Directus

Bobbie Kennedy (AUD), Raynor City United
Jamar Eastgate (SEM), Raynor City United
Oani Moralziia (TUR), Raynor City United
Ooóoos Skueri (AUD), Raynor City United
Timi'sala Koarena (TUR), Raynor City United
Cristian Arango (VLD), Raynor City United
Patxi Azarola (AUD), Raynor City United
Carlos Alberto Sáez (VLD), Raynor City United
Lasse Pedersen (SEM), Raynor City United
Täjó Çíânflöné (FFD), Raynor City United
Timi'sala Koarena (TUR), Raynor City United
Ilglerdiriel Lithvathar (VAL), Raynor City United

Nemanja Petrovic (SZA), Ulsa
Espen Erevik (PIS), Ulsa
Branmir Milic (SZA), Ulsa
Adnan Szalai (NPH), Ulsa
Craig Sinclair (EUR), Ulsa
Sebastian Kaur (AUS), Ulsa
Kris Campbell (EUR), Ulsa
Jakob Lindesfarne (SEM), Ulsa
Frank Ainsworth (EUR), Ulsa
John Leach (EUR), Ulsa
Freddie Nolan (EUR), Ulsa

Kiki Nuremberg (FEL), 1830 Cathair
Lenka Randáková (PAS), 1830 Cathair
Ulrika Kinlasson (APX), 1830 Cathair
Jaime del Olmo (CEN), 1830 Cathair
Faeron Soldarian (VAL), 1830 Cathair
Rodolfo Zelaya (SJG), 1830 Cathair
Espy va Drake (VAL), 1830 Cathair
Romelio Ceballos (PAS), 1830 Cathair
Nzuzi Kidiaba (SEM), 1830 Cathair
Batmacumba (DAI), 1830 Cathair
Marco Angelo (KRY), 1830 Cathair
Emmanuel Awuah (SEM), 1830 Cathair
Nestor Martinez (SJG), 1830 Cathair
Sroel Cavan (ZEN), 1830 Cathair
Dymon Cole (SEM), 1830 Cathair
Superintendent van Nifterick (APX), 1830 Cathair
Gael Marquez (AUD), 1830 Cathair
Jouard Carceres (AUD), 1830 Cathair

Nathan Musendo (SEM), Northern Union
Geneva Urquhart (BRE), Northern Union
Catherine Gryphon (BRE), Northern Union
Marijana Kuralay (NPH), Northern Union
Scout Given (BRE), Northern Union
Melinda Rubio (OSR), Northern Union
Candace Rivers (EQS), Northern Union

Drê Röènôùjýâ (FFD), Brinemouth
Matt Vintner (NPH), Brinemouth
Chrysanthe Scafidis (NPH), Brinemouth
Jonathan Bosetti (VLD), Brinemouth
Gianluigi Calabrese (OSR), Brinemouth
Jonathan Bosetti (VLD), Brinemouth
Osman Candelo (VLD), Brinemouth
Juquinho (APX), Brinemouth
Konrad Gosforth (NPH), Brinemouth
Danijel Brymora (NPH), Brinemouth
Jess Silkman (NPH), Brinemouth

Abraham Terrazas (SJG), AC Itotz Zubia
Morlaithan Aldamiel (VAL), AC Itotz Zubia
Gregory Besoitagoena (AUD), AC Itotz Zubia
Patrick Courtois (VLD), AC Itotz Zubia
Orson Faulkner (BRE), AC Itotz Zubia
Paranawê (USI), AC Itotz Zubia
Sterling Rose (EUR), AC Itotz Zubia
Etamara Kulkkiia (TUR), AC Itotz Zubia
Fabio Mancini (OSR), AC Itotz Zubia
Ingþór Auðbjörnsson (PAS), AC Itotz Zubia
Acquafresca (DAI), AC Itotz Zubia
Laborious Hawk (VAL), AC Itotz Zubia
Lairelaerion Tinuviel (VAL), AC Itotz Zubia
Giorgia Caruso (OSR), AC Itotz Zubia
Tar Hunor (PAS), AC Itotz Zubia
Paulinho Romã (WSI), AC Itotz Zubia
Txordinutzko Etxehartzaren (AUD), AC Itotz Zubia
Frantzisko Apexarena (AUD), AC Itotz Zubia
Paranawé (NSI), AC Itotz Zubia

Nubara Moafalia (TUR), Cednia Beach
Nikolai Aksenov (POL), Cednia Beach
Heron Crew (SCH), Cednia Beach
Tripate Falcon (VIL/TUR), Cednia Beach
GQ Disterfred II (TUR), Cednia Beach
Oani Moralziia (TUR), Cednia Beach
Dmitri Levada (TUR), Cednia Beach
Va'a-Rio Kiwavyn, Cednia Beach
Kryhata Calanndi, Cednia Beach
Tinjus Mngomeni, Cednia Beach

Ursula Rankin (BRE), Tanrisal
Lemuel Ortez (AUD), Tanrisal
Tevreness Bale (COS), Tanrisal
Emely Towers (EFL), Tanrisal
Amitee Abdalla (EFL), Tanrisal
Sander Balliol (BRE), Tanrisal

Ruy Monrazón (FFD), Avenida Leal
Trejo Maes (FFD), Avenida Leal
Ostadar Arambilet (FFD), Avenida Lea
Mattías Passarelli (SJG), Avenida Lea
Morris Morrison (FFD)(17), Avenida Lea
Norberto Longes (FFD), Avenida Lea

Justinian Hargrave (NPH), Starling
Mirko Koehler (NPH), Starling
Hyacinth Surman (NPH), Starling
Malachi Gallagher (NPH), Starling
Claudia Cautcher (NPH), Starling
Lucius Kaspian (COS), Starling
Nicola Costello (OSR), Starling
Francesca Marquon (NPH), Starling
Hansi Westerlow (NPH), Starling
Reinhard Meixner (NPH), Starling
Estrella Hawke (NPH), Starling
Ali Asif (EFL), Starling
Deirdre McNessa (COS), Starling

Ace Newman (COS), CD FAS
Alexander Lopes (VLD), CD FAS
Sebastián Hernández (SJG), CD FAS
Luciano Feijoo (SJG), CD FAS
Emilio Duero (SJG), CD FAS
Arnoldo Flechamachete (QUE), CD FAS
Xavier Hertel (QUE), CD FAS
Hazel Van Robben (RKQ), CD FAS
Tukhbatulin (SJG), CD FAS
Gutiérrez (SJG), CD FAS
Somoza (SJG), CD FAS
Gómez (SJG), CD FAS
Di Maria (QUE), CD FAS
Melo (NSI), CD FAS
Duero, CD FAS

Bo Foureleven (NFX), Matthew Rangers
Elrond Yorick (ESH), Matthew Rangers
Westbrook, Matthew Rangers
Ninth (NFX), Matthew Rangers
Sappington, Matthew Rangers
Hikari (PRO), Matthew Rangers
Caparelli (FFD), Matthew Rangers
Anderton (NPH), Matthew Rangers
Palmer (OSR), Matthew Rangers
Markus (PAS), Matthew Rangers
Hawkwood (NPH), Matthew Rangers
de la Fuente (CEN), Matthew Rangers
Spearowhead, Matthew Rangers
Baghdassarian (YTT), Matthew Rangers

Scheherazade Meier (FFD), Sabrefell Moths
Juninho Dos Santos (SJG), Sabrefell Moths
Aaliyah Johnson (OSR), Sabrefell Moths
Jessica Weiss (PAS), Sabrefell Moths
Isadora Caravella, (NPH), Sabrefell Moths
Kirsten Cliving (c), (NPH), Sabrefell Moths
Gudrun Crowley (NPH), Sabrefell Moths
Leo Hargreaves (EUR), Sabrefell Moths

Andreas Sparwasser (BRE), Crisisbless
Autumn Starbuck (ISK), Crisisbless
Isaia URSO (OSR), Crisisbless
Anders Engström (COS), Crisisbless
Leona Rafford, Crisisbless
Sieglinde Lohengrin (NPH), Crisisbless
Ror Jevdjevic-Hadsic (FFD), Crisisbless

Armando Elevado (FFD), Avenida Principal
Rainyardil Toraandal (VAL), Avenida Principal
Julia Price (OSR), Avenida Principal
Vareza Na'Noni (COS), Avenida Principal
Angelo Gelinas (QUE), Avenida Principal

Sean Fraser (SJG), Real Azuris
Hector Grier (ANG), Real Azuris
Ronan Bowditch (BRE), Real Azuris
Sandra Sybill (CRO), Real Azuris
August Ozuna (AUD), Real Azuris
Viviano Milani (PAS), Real Azuris
Andrew Arrowsword (CEN), Real Azuris (18)
Florentin Lachance (AUD), Real Azuris
Stig Söderquist (COS), Real Azuris
Adrian Lindberg (SLL), Real Azuris
Mortimer Chisenhall (COS), Real Azuris
Brygger Tidesson (COS), Real Azuris (16)

Dragan Kryznjak (AUD), Alianza FC
Ramón Ospina (SJG), Alianza FC
Leonardo Conavacio (QUE), Alianza FC
Mark Lindholm (SJG), Alianza FC
Davor Antunovic (PAS), Alianza FC
Marcia Danmark (BRE), Alianza FC

Odrej Cech (QUE), Turoki Tide
Polaox Torerun (VIL), Turoki Tide
Cavuna Aquafek (VIL), Turoki Tide
Amarini Baracelv (VIL), Turoki Tide

Elliot Horn (NGD), Celtic Noviodunum
Kira Koromin (CEN), Celtic Noviodunum
Michelle Stone (ETM), Celtic Noviodunum
Abigail Knight (ETM), Celtic Noviodunum
Jay Irikor (CEN), Celtic Noviodunum
Iñaki Martón (ESH), Celtic Noviodunum

Elaine Ashdown (NPH), Hastmead Diamante
Peppin Ruel (PAS), Hastmead Diamante
Esteban Crespo (OSR), Hastmead Diamante
Ryan Watson (OSR), Hastmead Diamante
Djair Claro-Hunt (SEM), Hastmead Diamante
Rnee Claro-Hunt (SEM), Hastmead Diamante
Reiss Claro-Hunt (SEM), Hastmead Diamante
Donminick M’Bia (SEM), Hastmead Diamante
Artemis Montanari (ESH), Hastmead Diamante (17)
Daniele Gentile (OSR), Hastmead Diamante
Demetrio Constantini (OSR), Hastmead Diamante
Will Simpson (OSR), Hastmead Diamante

Willem Ajax (APX/EOT), Bastion
Jeffrey Douglas (EUR), Bastion
Peter Morrison (EUR), Bastion
Lofty Jones (EUR), Bastion
Dion Underwood (EUR), Bastion
Adrian Bassa (VLD), Bastion

Hannah Alcouin (USI), Crawford City
Roddy Fraser (AUD), AFC Treason
Peter Svensson (COS), AFC Treason
Fedrea Quazin (EFL), FC Farleigh-Warburton
Anthony Baudelio (ESH), Phalanx AF
Sgt. Sam Billic (MRC), Myrmidon
Lea Pabst (PAS), Aurora Sylveons
Quinn Doherty (OSR), Trothwands Evolution
Jean-Marie Bentacaur (ESH), Baskita FC
Allison Swan (CEN), Crisisbless

“Kirtland, there are a lot of familiar faces on there of course, but any surprises?”

Kirtland Straw, Broadcaster, Spudnix Sports:

“Well I think the transfer of the Mercedinian military sergeant Sam Billic to Myrmidon in Ceni caught us all by surprise and they have done it again by sneaking in on this list - clearly we’ve got a bit of a rising star on our hands here with this one. A few youngsters made it onto the list despite not being first choice at their clubs - I’d cite Morris Morrison and Norberto Longes at Avenida Leal as examples - but clearly the wise guys on the voting panel are impressed with youth talent and want to acknowledge that, which will do wonders for their profile and marketability.”

Ezra Carp, super-agent:

“That’s right Kirtland. You look at young Roddy Fraser going to AFC Treason last season for 40 million green - crazy money, we all know that, but that sets the market value, doesn’t it? Clubs will think they might cash in and they’d be right - appearing on this longlonglist will easily put an extra 2.5 million clams on their price tag, and these youngsters won’t go for under 7.5 million now, I’d say.”

Izzy Worthette:

“And so onto the longlist, whittled down to the best thirty-eight players in the multiverse in the last cycle, although of course the locals will wonder why Tuw Turk didn’t make it.

The longlist, in alphabetical order, is as follows:”

Hannah Alcouin		24	CF	USI	Crawford City
Andrew Arrowsword 18 ST CEN Real Azuris
Elaine Ashdown 33 MC NPH Hastmead Diamante
Anthony Baudelio 20 ST ESH Phalanx AF
Jean-Marie Bentacur 24 MC ESH Baskita FC
Sgt. Sam Billic 29 ST MRC Myrmidon
Kris Campbell 30 ST EUR Ulsa
Romelio Ceballos 27 ST PAS 1830 Cathair FC
Täjó Çíânflöné 24 ST FFD Raynor City United
Mike Flanningan 29 DC USI Ramusok United
Mâás Fôx 35 MRC FFD Directus
Roddy Fraser 20 ST AUD AFC Treason
Sean Fraser 31 LW SJG Real Azuris
Daniele Gentile ? CM OSR Hastmead Diamante
Craig Gilbert 34 DC EUR Directus
Hector Grier 27 CB ANG Real Azuris
Catherine Gryphon 27 DM BRE Northern Union
Laborious Hawk 727 AMC VAL AC Itotz Zubia
Xavier Hertel 33 ML QUE CD FAS
Ror Jevdjevic-Hadsic 25 AM FFD Crisisbless
Aaliyah Johnson 25? ST OSR Sabrefell Moths
Meagan Kelly 28 MR CHR Kionao Locals
Etamara Kulkkiia 28 MC TUR AC Itotz Zubia
Frank Lescott 33 DL VAL Tannenberg FC
Ilglerdiriel Lithvathar 733 AML VAL Raynor City United
Alexander Lopes 28 DR VLD CD FAS
Trejo Maes 25 DLR FFD Avenida Leal
Deirdre McNessa 27 DM COS Starling
Ruy Monrazón 26 DMC FFD Avenida Leal
Alan Moore 23 DC ETM Directus
Jaime del Olmo 33 AML CEN 1830 Cathair FC
Pedrinho 31 ST VLD Directus
Drê Röènôùjýâ 29 ML/DLR FFD Brinemouth
Peter Svensson 26 DC COS AFC Treason
Adnan Szalai 26 MR NPH Ulsa
Abraham Terrazas 23 GK SJG AC Itotz Zubia
Rainyardil Toraandal 659 DC VAL Avenida Principal
Rodolfo Zelaya 31 CF SJG 1830 Cathair FC

Ezra Carp:

“Clubs are going to have to pay top dollar to secure the services of one of these gems, Izzy. I’m talking about one and a half times the current average ‘high fee’. I’ve studied the transfer market in the last window and if you take the top ten highest transfer fees paid last time around, you’re looking at an average of 19.3 million moula. So I’m suggesting clubs looking to buy from the longlist will probably not get anyone lower than 29 million notes from this lot - minimum!

“Oh, and I must say, at this point - mostly highly over-rated player of the last cycle? It’s tough on the lad but look at Lucjusz Stef from Chromatika: he was unattached and Mar Sara paid 12.5 million spondoolies for his services - 12.5 million! To nobody! For an unattached player!”

Kirtland Straw:

“You’ve probably devalued him by about 70% there, Ezra…”

Izzy Worthette:

“We move now to the exciting bit of the evening when we begin to whittle down our candidates towards the prizes. First, I’m proud to present the Galacticos Index Team of The Cycle sponsored by the highly sought-after watch maker Schu-Tallinger of Reselia. Each player selected for the Best Eleven plus seven subs will receive a highly valuable collectors item platinum Schu-Tallinger timepiece as well, I’m sure, as renewed terms on their contract.

“The Boldsport Galacticos Team of The Cycle is as follows:”

Drê Röènôùjýâ;
Sean Fraser, Laborious Hawk, Deirdre McNessa;
Täjó Çíânflöné, Pedrinho, Andrew Arrowsword

“All the big hitters in there, Ezra - how much would it cost to put that team together, do you think?”

Ezra Carp:

“For that Galactico XI? We’d be talking astronomical prices, Izzy. Every one of those players is going to fetch more than the top price paid this time around - that was a cool 40 million bones for Roddy Fraser and for Hannah Alcouin’s unexpected move to Crawford City - they must be rolling in it, and ambitious too to lure a world cup champion to an unranked UICA side: watch for them over the next couple of seasons. If they’re going to spend big, I’d want to be in there with my stable of players, for sure. Anyway, I think prices for the band of eleven would go something like one and a half times the top dollar price; you’re looking 43 million readies minimum for any of these eleven, I’m sure of it, and 35 for the subs - at least.”

Izzy Worthette:

“And so to the shortlist for the player of the cycle. This is where we get to the real nitty gritty - thirty-eight becomes six. And the nominees, in alphabetical order, are:”

Andrew Arrowsword	18	ST	CEN	Real Azuris
Roddy Fraser 20 ST AUD AFC Treason
Ilglerdiriel Lithvathar 733 AML VAL Raynor City United
Pedrinho 31 ST VLD Directus
Adnan Szalai 26 MR NPH Ulsa
Rodolfo Zelaya 31 CF SJG 1830 Cathair FC

Ezra Carp:

“Arrowsword’s contribution to his side’s sensational Champions Cup victory gets him on the short-list and I’m hardly surprised. He and Fraser are two young sensations who are going to dominate world football for years to come. The other four are household names already of course and it’s difficult to separate them. It will be difficult to separate them from their clubs too - inflation for these six on the Galacticos Shortlist means we’ll be talking silly money here - one and a half times the astronomical prices we were talking about before. Don’t expect to land any of these diamonds for less than 65 million nicker.”

Izzy Worthette:

“Talking of young sensations, let’s move on to the Boldsport Young Player of the Cycle, sponsored by NomNom world famous confectioners - because sometimes, sour sugar is good for you. With a number of young players competing right at the top of the sport already, this was a difficult and tightly-contested affair. And the winner of a lifetimes’ supply of sugar toucans and chocolate toads is…”

.Roddy Fraser

Kirtland Straw:

“As Rodraig Fraser stepped up to take Audioslavia's fourth penalty of the World Cup semi-final shoot-out, he probably wasn't thinking to himself 'hey, if I can score this, my country will have been in 11.8% of all World Cup Final games ever'.

What's more likely to have been going through the player's mind, however, is something along the lines of ‘crikey o’reilly’.

Whether or not Fraser was thinking about the weight of history, he scored Audioslavia's winning penalty with all the confidence and ease of a man who seemed to know which way the goalie was going to dive before he even took the penalty. Fraser's celebration, more relieved than anything else, showed just how far the young striker has come since his incident-ridden international debut last year. The boy has become the man.”

Izzy Worthette:

“Err, Kirtland, are you quoting Jeremy Jaffacake there?”

Kirtland Straw:

“Well, that’s fair attribution, I suppose…”

Izzy Worthette:

“And so we come to the final presentation of the evening - the Boldsport Galactico Player of the Cycle, sponsored by legendary dealers in precious objects, The Nomarque Mint of Taxhavn, who are providing the winner of this prestigious award with the equally presitgious prize of NothingTM - for the man, woman or person of indeterminate gender who has everything.

“It has been twenty-three years since the last issue of the Nomarque Mint. And now, at last, they present our finest creation to date: Orbis Vacuume, the latest in a legendary line of Product No.1’s by the world famous Mint. 134.373924 millilitres of purest hard vacuum encased in a 3mm Adamant shell of 65.4mm diameter and an impossible 103.36% purity; nowhere in the entire multiverse will you find such extraordinary refinement, polished to a near frictionless 0.1255mu.

“And, naturally, it is beautiful beyond any useful scale of measurement.

“But there can be only one Supreme Galactico or player of the cycle (mainly because we could only afford one Orbis Vacuume) and finally we are at the point where we can reveal them. But first, there must be honourable mentions for the close runners-up. In third place…”

Ilglerdiriel Lithvathar

Kirtland Straw:

“At 733 years old, the elfin winger at mighty Raynor City United is no spring chicken by any measure but continues to impress at the very highest level, and just completed a fine season. Winner of a Champions Cup medal the previous season, Lithvathar is dynamic in attack but with enough speed and sense of the pitch to make up on any sort of defensive lapse. She is not nearly as skilled as some of her United team-mates, but do not let that fool you, in a moment of magic she can undress an entire backline and set up more prolific scorers with easy chances… and yes, for the record, that’s a quote too.”

Izzy Worthette:

“In second place, and what a magnificent rise to the top of world football it has been in such a short space of time…”

Roddy Fraser

Kirtland Straw:

“With a World Cup runners-up medal and a Champions Cup semi-final medal in this last cycle you could be forgiven for thinking young Roddy is a bit of a nearly man - and in some sense you would be right: he’s an Audioslav after all. So no surprise he has come second in the Galactico Index; but let’s not forget the lad is only 20. He has the world at his feet and I’m sure we’ll see him collect plenty of gongs or empty balls or whatever it is you're giving out in the future.”

Izzy Worthette:

“And so, finally, ladies, gentlemen, persons of indeterminate gender, gender-irrelevant children and anthropomorphic creatures of the more distant corners of the multiverse - the winner of the Boldsport Galactico Player of the Cycle is:”

Adnan Szalai

Kirtland Straw:

“Adnan Szalai, the Ulsa wide midfielder, is deservedly labelled the best player in the multiverse, with his searing runs down the right, a mazy unpredictability and a street-footballer's way of going through people either to cross, pass or score himself - that’s what I read in the Brinemouth Herald, and I can’t disagree with that. Winning the midfield player of the season in Eura for his contribution to the Ulsa cause, he starred in the team that won the Globe Cup in Audioslavia and will surely go on to greater glory on the international stage.

Ezra Carp:

“He will surely also lead Ulsa to greater glory in club football Kirtland, not just because they are a fine team who will always compete at the very pinnacle of club football, but because no-one could afford to prise him away. Buying the Galactico will be a Galacti-con, I should think: he’s probably worth about one and a half times more than the silly money you’d have to spend on the Galactico shortlisters - so I think we’d be looking at an impossible bid of around 98 million frogskins or even into nine figures, if that’s even possible. People may laugh now, but seriously - I can’t see him going for less at the moment.”

Izzy Worthette:

“And that concludes the Boldsport Galactico World Player of the Multiverse for the present cycle. It only leaves me to assure the audience that Ezra Carp’s estimations of the world transfer market are entirely his own and clubs can spend whatever the hell they like on players during the appropriate windows. In a related note, and conversely, Kirtland Straw’s opinions are entirely not his own and come from quotes he has read on the International Domestic Soccer Newswires and in World Cup forum threads.

“We’re all off to paint the town a modest shade of green. Any complaints about the final decisions should be directed to spamfolder@boldsport.oi.

For those who are interested, there was method to this madness. Taking top 20 UICA teams, top 10 national teams, loads of searches, marking down RP comments, looking at transfers, and coming to some form of RP bonus scoring led to the result you see here. Not very scientific but based on what I could see and read. The lesson for future galacticos: get a move to a top UICA club that does a lot of newswire posts… other nations RPing about your stars counts double… the count begins again after the Cygnus Cup final.

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