World Cup 50 - The RP Thread

[Secristan]

MILLIONAIRES WIN TROPHY

Secristan won a soccer trophy, but it has nothing to do with World Cup qualifying. After holding Bears Armed to a scoreless draw, the Millionaires did enough to win the 4th Eternal Flame trophy. It is a nice little accomplishment for the team, but something that players were very motivated to win because it serves as a nice resume booster for their hopes of landing a big endorsement contract. It has in fact, already paid off for defender Matthew Lepage as the youngster signed a deal with a leading manufacturer of firewood within Secristan. “I don’t know if everyone cared in the field about this as much as we did, but it was a big game with Bears Armed, and we were probably looking more forward to that then the qualifying game against Isslemere-Nieland,” said Lepage. The Millionaires were lethargic against Isslemere, losing 4-1, and even though the team’s cushion was trimmed to two points, we still have a game in hand, making qualification still very likely.

The Secristan Department of Sports has not said much about the Eternal Flame, but loved the ratings boost that the tournament received. Fans always like watching the team battle the Bear-Belles, and games against other Baptism of Fire winners also generate interest. The fact that Secristan is not actually a Baptism of Fire winner does not make anyone feel guilty about having won the trophy. After all, find the nation that won it on a map. Can't find it? That's because it is no longer there. So as far as we are concerned, you can't lose to something that doesn't exist, so we are the true long term winner of that trophy. There is only one other nation from Baptism of Fire 30 that still participates in the World Cup and that is those annoying Dagan chicks.

[Cassadaigua]

Shannon’s Space

After defeating Mount Kip on the road by the score of 3-0, a very important win for us, we appear to unofficially clinched our spot in the World Cup. I do not believe it is official at the moment, but with two games to go, we have a six point lead over Sibirsky, and I think we have the tiebreaker here locked up. We would have it if it were based on head to head matchups, and we would have it on goal differential, realistically. We have a 21-goal advantage in that category, so we aren’t about to lose that nod. If the first tiebreaker is number of wins, then that’s where things could get hairy, and it is why no one is popping the cork on the champagne just yet. Plus, we just did a bunch of that after Kirsten’s wedding anyway. I’m not going to worry about the tiebreakers though, as the only thing on my mind right now is preparing for Rennidan. Well, I might have some other things on my mind, such as whether or not I should accept the Belguim FC offer or not. If I would, this would mean I would play for Kirsten’s team, but a dilemma I didn’t quite mention is whether or not playing for Kirsten is in my interest. It’s like a guy and a girl who are best friends for years and years. If they become romantically involved and then it doesn’t work over, then the friendship will also be lost. If something didn’t work out in The Babbage Islands for me, it could impact my relationship with Kirsten. I don’t think that it would, but everyone says that when they are at this stage, now don’t they?

Back to the World Cup, we were playing a team in Mount Kip that still had a small shot even though they have been really quiet about their team so far. Though we were well aware that we had the opportunity to take that small little shot they had and destroy it right there on their home turf. After three goals, it’s goodbye Mount Kip. The first goal came from yours truly, and it was nice to get back on the scoresheet, but the play was made by Meaghan Bateman. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time and anyone with even the slightest bit of soccer ability is going to put that chance in the back of the net. Later in the first half, Jessica Schanke doubled the lead, and early in the second, it was Schanke again. Ally (Salamida) made the stops when she needed to, but she didn’t have a ton of action and that was proven to us when after the game she told us she had noticed that one of the lights were out in a light fixture in one of the upper sections of the stadium. Well that’s going to be it. Up next Rennidan and maybe then I will able to officially tell you that we are in this World Cup.

[The Babbage Islands]

Thank you, Kulverint! With your win over Kosovoe and our 3:0 away win over Connar Republic, we are at last in a position to control our own destiny.

There are two rounds left in qualifying, but only one game each for us and Kosovoe. As fate would have it, they have their bye this round and we have ours next. In any scenario they must win in round 22 to have any chance to advance, being two points out with one to play. Our situation is simple: beat Montebank in Charleston and we qualify for our second World Cup. If we draw, we still qualify unless Kosovoe win. That possibility leaves both teams at the mercy of the hosts, as our media relations people have not uncovered the scheme of tiebreaks to be used. Clearly we aren't playing for a draw!

The One Big Island matchup in Connar Republic was slightly easier than we had thought, as the home team had an off night. Ganz Ijak had us out in our original 4:4:2. Erik Hebbeler set the tone for the evening in the third minute, putting away an Orson Cook corner and setting Connar on their heels. Solveig Þorsteinsdóttir had a fairly easy time putting up her clean sheet, as the hosts had no shot on goal in the entire first half. We increased our lead to 2:0 with four minutes to play before the break on a great run and finish by Pierre Rouleau. He's been at this a long time, and we saw why.

Melinda Wood gave me a rest for much of the second half, and made the most of her minutes with a sweet 71st minute downrange bomb that caught everyone by surprise. She's not known for long shots. But that 3:0 goal was a beauty.

So it's down to one sold out home game, with sixty thousand Bumblebee fans packing Capital Stadium. We are ready to buzz!

One more piece of buzz concerns Belgium FC. Apparently the new owners have found an innovative way to raise funds for pursuing developing foreign talent. They took on a couple of limited partners for seven figure prices. But they also established Community Limited Partnerships, a way to buy a piece of the club for just E:800. Yes, they get a proportionate share of profit for that. Only legal residents of the island of Daimler at least 13 years old can participate, one partnership per person. But with people getting them as gifts and such they've sold 29 000 of them. You do the maths, that's over 23 million edisons, about equal to what Chip and Kirsten paid for the club. Not a bad start.

Smile!

[Queer Poco el Mono Ara]

The World Cup throws up so many huge rivalries for a team, but what about those of us who plod along, never having a true rival, a national nemesis, someone you go head to head against on a regular basis and all that is on the line is pride, well, you have to hype whatever you can.

As a national football team, the Pocoans have no real rivals, but feel three teams almost fit the bill.

01. Pasarga. We have played them on three different occasions – losing every time in the Cup of Harmony and the Copa Rushmori, but that’s only the surface of where the mini rivalry lays – the real issue is our belief that Pasarga, as a land, is tainted with ill fortune. The previous cup of Harmony, The Whites traveled to Pasarga and were gifted what some would consider to be a favorable group. Kicking off the competition with a 4-0 win over Eastfield Lodge, QPeMA looked destined to breeze through the group stage and onto the knockout round – but 4 straight defeats (something that hasn’t occurred to the national side since their maiden tournament) saw the team crash out bottom of the group.

02. Sargossa. Another Rushmore neighbor, our rivalry is borne from possible jealousy. Graduating from the same Baptism of Fire we’ve watched as Sargossa have gone from strength to strength and even manage to win the most recent Cup of Harmony, whilst we have languished amongst the mid-strength teams. The teams now find themselves in a battle for the title of Best Team in the World – thanks to the transit of property.

03. Secristan. After The Whites prevented the side from reaching the World Cup with a last day draw, the disappointed Secristan players took it upon themselves to gain revenge in the Cup of Harmony when both sides were drawn into the same group. A brawl between the players broke out in a club during the CoH prior to the teams meeting and once out on the pitch bad tackles started flying. The teams haven’t met since, which is probably fortunate.

[Sarzonia]

Rivalries.

Seems to be the popular subject of this World Cup with it being the 50th edition and all.

With that in mind, here's a list of Sarzonia's biggest rivalries, old and new. For convenience's sake, we will use three categories: Old rivalries, meaning opponents the Stars no longer face; New rivalries, meaning opponents the Stars have faced on multiple occasions; and All-time rivalries, meaning rivals from both eras of Sarzonian football. They'll be listed in order of importance within their category and ultimately ranked later.

OLD RIVALRIES
Rejistania: The only nation Sarzonia referred to as The Evil Empire, this nation's infamous System Karela embodied an approach that "attack means defeat." Until Bettia and their kamikaze-style attack-based system came about, Sarzonia were known as an attack-minded team. More than the contrast in styles, Sarzonia only had one victory over Rejistania in several meetings in World Cup finals and qualifying matches, and that was a meaningless result.

Bedistan: That nation no longer exists.* When it did, Sarzonia knocked them out of the running to repeat as World Cup champions in the semifinals of World Cup 22, which the Stars eventually won. In World Cup 23, the Stars and Lions played in the third placed playoff. Sarzonia won there, too. It likely engendered ill feelings among Lions players and coaches, but the Stars knew they had to give it their all to win.

NEW RIVALRIES
Candelaria And Marquez: This is the most obvious new rival. After all, the Big Blues defeated the Stars in the semifinals in back to back World Cups. The first time around, the Big Blues and Stars both lost their next matches, finishing second and fourth, respectively. The second time around, both teams won their final matches, finishing as champions and third place winners. The two losses led the team to increase its squad size in an effort to buttress its depth.

Dancougar: The teams have played twice in official World Cup matches. Dancougar have won twice. The teams have also faced each other for Cashman's Urn. They haven't had a chance to engender bad blood yet, but that may happen if the teams face each other repeatedly with big stakes.

Secristan: The Millionaires and Stars may not have met very much on the pitch, but they've met rather frequently across a variety of sports. This has led to great interest (and high-rusa bids for pay-per-view time) in the matches between these two clubs. As apt as the Millionaires are to sue people into oblivion and try to make a fast rusa, Sarzonia have also demonstrated a strong grasp of the almighty dollar.

Cassadaigua: The teams have met each other frequently of late across all sports. They're rivals in the sense that they usually face each other with something at stake, but the teams have a healthy respect for one another.

Delaclava/Isselmere-Nieland (tie): In both cases, the teams have faced each other several times. Sarzonia considers both countries close friends, and the teams feel the same way about their opponents. It led to Sarzonia dubbing their pre-World Cup friendly series against Isselmere-Nieland "The Friendly War" and to a traditional post-World Cup friendly between the Phoenixes and the Stars.

ALL-TIME RIVALRIES
Starblaydia: The co-founders of the Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy have a varied history against Sarzonia across a variety of competitions. The MSMT. The Di Bradini Cup. AOCAF. The World Cup. In each of these, the Purple Peril and the Stars have met with something at stake. Starblaydia usually defeat the Stars for regional honours, but on their best days, the Stars can usually defeat the Purple Peril on the world stage.

Milchama: To quote Keith Jackson, "these two teams plain don't like each other." Sarzonia never has taken Milchama lightly, and relished the opportunity to knock them down a couple of pegs during qualifying this time around.

Krytenia: This is a case where one team considers the other a hated rival, whilst the other team merely considers them a strong foe to be respected. In this case, it's the Kryties who view the Stars as one of their two most hated nemeses. While the Purple Peril might engender more fear in regulation matches, the fear factor turns toward the Navy and Silver when it involves a certain spot twelve yards from goal.

RANKINGS
1. Starblaydia
2. Rejistania
3. Candelaria And Marquez
4. Milchama
5. Krytenia
6. Dancougar
7. Secristan
8. Bedistan
9. Cassadaigua
10 (tie): Isselmere-Nieland
Delaclava

*Noting that the player's current nation, Vephrall, has never played Sarzonia in football. They have played each other in gridball, however.

[Sargossa]

There are certain moments when time seems to freeze. We recently experienced one of those moments. Lucky us. The place was the ediraf Arena in the Sargossan capitol of Soluca. The event was a crucial world cup qualifier between Sargossa and Schiavonia. The time was deep into the final of four added minutes at the death. The outcome was thoroughly miserable.

The game was ticking towards the end, the Corsairs having clawed back a two goal deficit to led by three to two, and a long kick from visiting keeper Howard sent Leau away down the right. He skipped past Moya and drilled in a wicked low ball. And that’s when it happened. Time seemed to stop. Probably accompanied by some kind of whooshing sound. These things really should be accompanied by some kind of whooshing sound don’t you think?

A casual glance at the arena in the moment would have shown Sargossan defender Torres desperately sticking out a leg to block a ball he’ll never reach. Young, that’s a given really, Schiavonian James Hogan extending his own boot towards a ball he will. Fans behind the goal, faces descending into expressions of horror. And the face of a coach sinking towards his own outstretched palms.

Real time resumed and sure enough the low cross eluded Torres and was turned in by Hogan, ghosting in behind to all but hammer home the final nail into this particular qualification coffin.

[Delaclava]

Delaclava 1-0 Tyrrin
This was a hot game with hot temperature and hot tempers, but with great skill. The goal came in first half stoppage time, when Mose Fuentes got a feed from Ruben Hester and fed it to Simon De Braden, who nailed it home. No other scores occurred, and Delaclava took a tough win home.

Barnettsville 1-0 Delaclava
Barnettsvile managed to shock Delaclava. Although Delaclava kept in the full starting lineup for the kickoff, they played with an obvious, deliberate lack of intensity, and eventually subbed in everyone. Their center forward got a surprise long strike in the 57th minute, spoiling Graham Torres' eight-save performance.

Delaclava 3-1 Binary Load Lifters

Delaclava 4-1 Azadmenistan

Kelssek 3-1 Delaclava

Delaclava 1-1 Geisenfried

Aguazul 3-3 Delaclava

Delaclava 1-1 Vilita

Slaytesics 1-1 Delaclava

Delaclava 4-1 Westmeadow Tavern

[Bears Armed]

The players from the Bear-Belles who had been away in Newmanistan for the 'Eternal Flame' competition have arrived back home, and are visiting their team's HQ at Plumtrees Park to find out where & when they'll be wanted next.

"Congratulations to you all on managing to gain second place in the 'Flame' for us," manager Marra SunDaughter greeted them. "I'd hoped that you'd actually win it, of course, but being equal to the winners on points and only losing out on goal-difference certainly wasn't bad, not bad at all. Ahe well, we've still got one more chance at it before we cease to be eligible...

"Hrright, well, the good news is that you can all rest for a couple of days, after those exertions and the journey home, because I'm going to take exactly the same squad that's been keeping up our name in the qualifiers while you were away over to Obrenovacia for our next game too... and the bad news is that once the rest of us get back here after that match we're putting ALL of our players into really intensive training for our concluding qualifier so that I can pick out the best possible line-up for that..."

____________________________________________________________________


Meanwhile, outside in the stadium, some of the maintenance staff were taking down a number of the advertising posters that had been on the walls around the pitch, and replacing these with new ones... for a new product...

GRINNESS
Is Good For You!

[Candelaria And Marquez]

Many, many miles west from where New Fenton were resolutely defending against the reigning World Cup champions in what would prove to be, for this particular edition of the multiverse’s greatest sporting tournament, a relatively low-scoring, eight-goal thriller, and in a place that felt like a world away; Thorgan Hazard, Scourge of the Steppes, gripped the Crimson Blade of Obraniak and faced down the foe.

Ever to his side, Mattias the Savage presented a mask of steely determination, the Battle Banner of Righteous Smiting held tightly in his hands. Around them both, thirty of Hazard’s bravest, or perhaps most foolhardy, young warriors stood to a man at a resolute forty-five degree angle. Deep in his old, brittle heart; Hazard knew he was leading them to their doom.

The enemy Drude had wrenched apart his mightiest chariots with magiks most foul before they had even reached the massed ranks of fragile, sniggering Kobold upon the other side of the wood. Twelve of his finest Hell Hounds, bred through the decades and generations for this very day, had proven no match for even five of Lord Volkar’s slavering Vielfras. No fewer than three regiments of frenzied, flail-wielding raiders were fleeing from the battlefield in the face of thirty fearsome, oozing nachzehrers and their accured, macabre musician. Even Yngir, Hazard’s faithful mountain giant, had fallen after an epic battle with the enemy lindwyrm. Were there any left to tell them, the sagas would relate this day as a shameful massacre.

His men were straining at the bit to join their mounted colleagues in making one, last, desperate push into Kobold lines, but Hazard remained unyielding as a tide of baleful Noscans, united in their vengeful desperation to spill greyskin blood, threatened to overwhelm him. If they charged, and proved victorious, then the nachzehrers lay in wait to assault his regiment’s flank, where his own Banner of Rending Pain would offer no fear to the vacant minds of the undead, corpse-devouring scum. But stand stubbornly still, and only his horseman could help stem Volkar’s awe-inspiring numbers and stop a counter-charge that would surely bring about the collapse of his entire army.

Hazard had fought a thousand battles but, this night, he had failed his men. He would never utter such wretched thoughts aloud, but he knew no new plan would be forthcoming. ALl hope was gone. His mind was blank.

This was largely because his head was made of plastic, having been taken from the Knights of Astubia regiment sprue and glued inexpertly onto the usual body of Thorgan Hazard, sans the Banner of Rending Pain, which had been snapped off some time previously, and with the addition of a sizable blob of epoxy resin to cover the join. He was thirty millimetres tall, and looked less than chuffed about it.

Something was thinking, though, and watching and listening. Many somethings. Hungry somethings…

They heard the approaching voices, raised in petulance.

“…ou dragged me out there for that.”

“I thought they would be…”

“Why?”

“I read it somewhere.”

“Where?” the first voice said testily. “Where would you read about that?”

“Um. It was in last week’s Kick ‘n’ Rushmore…”

“Derek, you do not have a subscription to Kick ‘n’ Rush… what is Kick ‘n’ Rushmore!?”

“The region’s premier football magazine. That’s what it says on the front cover, anyway. Um. It was my sister’s…” the Derek added wretchedly.

“Whatever. Did it actually say there’d be nudity?”

“Not in so many words… Look, it said there might be, out of respect for the Emperor Boston, like.”

“And I suppose it said Young and Gaynor would be playing, an’ all?”

“Not as such… Don’t look at me like that, it was a fair assumption. It did say Davies was going to be rested, so they were right about that… Only it was for Vaughan instead, so… Alright, I’m sorry there was no nudity, arright?”

“No female nudity.”

“I was more interested in seeing Danny Adams become C&M’s all-time leading scorer, anyway…”

“You were not, you great fat fibber! You couldn’t give any more of a shit about football than I do. When there aren’t any potential tits around, anyway.”

“Well pardon me for being patriotic, Dave.”

“Derek, this is Zapata. Those people are bleedin’ foreigners. Apart from Jhanna Young, obviously, who is pretty and has breasts. Otherwise, there’s no excuse for cheering, and I did see you suppressing a cheer there, so don’t go and pretend otherwise.”

Derek groaned theatrically. “Are you still in ‘Green Island for Green Islanders! Down with the Evil Mainlanders!!!11’ mode? That got old pretty fast, y’know. ”

“Oh, am I not allowed to be patriotic now, is that it? Charging Hazard’s regiment with Kobold Spearlings.”

“Dave, this is Zapata. We’re basically Candelariasian and you know it. Have you got anything in common with your average crofter out in the sticks? Have you even seen one lately? And you can’t, by the way. I’ve got the Banner of Rending Pain.Yyou aren’t allowed to charge any regiment with that in unless you’re fear or terror causing yourself.”

“That’s only ‘cos of the bird flu restrictions, though. And Prime Minister Frampton says those’re going to be lifted any month now. We’ll be a united island at last, just as nature intended it, and nobody’ll need to piggyback on Candelarian successes anymore. Where’s your Banner of Rending Pain, then? I don’t see any Banner of Rending Pain.”

“It got snapped off.”

“S’not there, then. Clearly. It’s got to be shown on the model, Derek.”

“It’s inferred. Thorgan Hazard’s a special character, he can only be included with the equipment listed in the army book. Therefore, he’s always going to have the Banner of Rending Pain. You can’t charge.”

“Hang about, I’m not having that! You can’t pick and choose what magic items he’s carrying.”

“I didn’t. It got snapped off. It’s included in his points total.”

“You stick it down on yer army sheet?”

“No…”

“Well then!”

“S’not my fault you didn’t read the Noscan army list thoroughly, is it?”

“Hasn’t he got Altama’s Vial of Poisonous Poisoning and the Crimson Blade of Thingy, anyway? He can’t have more than two magic items, can he? You’re making it up about the banner, you little sneak!”

“He’s a special character, you knobhead, he’s allowed whatev… I’ll go and find the book, shall I? Happy?”

“Delighted!”

“Fine! And don’t move that copse while I’m gone, you’ve been eyeing it all afternoon…”

Some minutes later the Derek re-emerged, his shrill tones entering the garage several seconds before his body.

“…ound it. He’s allowed three magic items, and if the Vial isn’t shown on the model I don’t see why his Banner has to be, so nyaah. Also, it’s six-two now, would you believe? Wilkinson got the sixth from a corner, that’s his eighth international goal, y’know, pretty damn good for a full-back. Not that I’d know, of course, I… Dave? Oh, don’t tell me you’ve stropped off? Look, I let you re-roll yer Drude’s four plus ward save ‘cos you forgot you’d given her the Amulet of Negouai which, let me add, isn’t even listed in the Thynges From the Woodes army book, so… Dave? Here, what are these little fellas? They’re not even based properly, I don’t remember… Fuck it mate, there hundreds of ‘em, what’re you playing at, they… They… Oh, Christ…”

With glinting eyes and sharpened spoons, the pillywiggins emerged from behind the lindwyrm and amongst the tangled trees of the copse, and across the carpet and up the table legs. And they feasted.

Because we rather promised they would do, sooner or later.

[The Archregimancy]

THE MONASTIC TIMES

HOLY SYNOD CALLS COUNCIL ON HYPHENOCLASM
Hyphenophile Monks Demand "Equal Representation"

By Fr. Aethelwine the Theological Correspondent


With no World Cup qualification match overnight, the monks of the Archregimancy were free to focus on the controversy that has been causing much heated debate these past few weeks here in the Monastic Republic: hyphenoclasm.

Much of the media attention in Ordinary Reality has focussed on the hyphenoclasts, who have vigorously denounced the hyphen for being heretical. While initial reports both here and among the mundies indicated that the use of the hyphen was thought to be associated with Sabellianism, the hyphenoclasts have more recently (following a statement from former international footballer Fr. Innocent of Ariddia) stated that the hyphen is a feature of Anomoeanism in that separating the Holy Trinity in the formulation (using the allegedly heretical formulation) "Father - Son - Holy Spirit" at the very least suggests that the Son is separate, and of a different nature, from the Father. The hyphen is felt to be no different in this regard than the arch Arian heretical formulation of "ἑτεροούσιος". Where this leaves the Spirit is anyone's guess; but presumably it isn't good.

Yet more recently, a hyphenophile party has made its voice known. This group seems split between the radical hyphenophiles who believe that the hyphen is completely free from heresy, and the moderate hyphenophiles who believe that the hyphen is itself free from heresy but can nonetheless be used heretically by heretics. Despite these divisions, the hyphenophiles have made several demonstrations over the last week. We list these now, not to favour either party, but simply to allow our readers to see the extent of the controversy:

Painted Monastery of Voronets: Several hyphenophile monks raised their voices when accused of heresy.

Monastic Television: Theology Tonight actually featured a discussion on whether the hyphen was inherently heretical or merely used heretically.

St. John of New Patmos: The senior archimandrites refused to open the front gates to a travelling party of hyphenoclast hermits.

Xenophon: Two monks, one a hyphenophile, one a hyphenoclast, stared at each other across the monastery's potato patch, and then refused to speak to each other.

St. Saba's in the Desert: One monk refused to eat his lentils when prayers for the triumph of hyphenoclasm were read out at vespers.

With these and similar unprecedented incidents rocking the Archregimancy, the Holy Synod has felt it has no choice but to call a Council to resolve the issue of the hyphen's status once and for all. His All Holiness the Patriarch is said to be considering travelling to the Archregimancy personally; this rare journey beyond the borders of the Holy Empire would automatically turn this into a general council of the entire Orthodox Church of the Holy Empire, causing great excitement across the OCHE and the autonomous Holy Synod of the Archregimancy.

Meanwhile, hyphenophiles have been demanding "proper and equal representation" on the Council. If there's anything we like here in the Archregimancy, it's a good theological controversy, so look for this story to run and run over the Paschal season, especially if the hyphenophiles believe that their demands for proper representation are not being met.

[Delaclava]

"Okay, let's split up," John said, as he, Lisa, and Detective Andrews entered the room. "Lisa, take the bedroom and half of the kitchen. Detective Andrews and-"

"Please, Katy," Detective Andrews interjected.

"We like to pay foreign delegates respect," John responded with a grin.

"We're friends, we can be on first name basis," Andrews said, smile equaling John's in wattage.

"Fair enough, then," John said. "Katy and I will take the other half of the kitchen and the main area."

----------

Lisa found out within not more than a few seconds exactly what the stench was. It was a casserole, with what looked like asparagus, ricotta cheese, anchovies, and red peppers. "Yuck," Lisa said. It took all her willpower not to pick it up and throw it out. She decided to give her nose a break and move on to the bedroom.

Lisa first dusted the doorknob for fingerprints. She found several viable prints, and collected all thirteen she found. She couldn't find any breaks or marks on the door, nor did she find any footprints in the doorway, so she continued on to the bedroom.

The bed was unmade, and had visible semen stains. Lisa pulled off the sheets with stains and placed them in large evidence bags. However, nothing else looked out of place - until she found a pistol on the nighttable, with blood on it. She swabbed the blood and tested to make sure it was indeed blood, the put a swab in the kit to be tested. She found prints on the gun as well, and dusted and lifted them.

----------

"Well," Katy said, "the killer had the courtesy to leave the knife in. Saves us time on identifying both the blood trace and the weapon itself."

"We can't take it out yet," John said, "until the coroner gets the body. But yes, we do have that advantage. Katy, for now we can get a jump start and get prints off the handle. Be careful not to wiggle it around."

This Katy did with great care and skill, the skill that had made her so renowned as a great investigator. John, meanwhile, was lucky enough to find footprints; Lisa was unlucky because she dealt with tile and rough carpet; but John was dealing with a softer, gel-based carpet. He quickly, yet cautiously, got the footprints before they disappeared.

Lisa walked back in, and said, "Does Doc have any pistol-whip marks?"

Katy quickly checked and said, "No."

"Then why is there blood on this gun?"

"Used on a different guy, or it's a frame."

"I got some footprints," John said. "Looks like three different sets. Three entering the front door, one exiting the front and two the back. They didn't seem to notice that they left prints, especially considering that they were careful on the perimeter."

"Well," Katy said, "let's get back to the lab. It's time to test this all."

--------------------

"Katie!" President Vaoco Schneider called.

Katie Tang, Deputy Chief of Staff to the President, walked in. "You wanted me, Vaoco?" she asked. Normally the president would be called Mr. President, but President Schneider insisted that he be called by his first name; he believed himself to be equal to everyone else.

"Yes, Katie. You had something you wanted to tell me earlier. By the way, where are those drug research files I wanted to take a look at? And the foreign policy ones with Sarzonia?"

"Well, sir, that's the thing." Katie sighed. "It appears that they've been stolen."

"Stolen!" Schneider bolted straight out of his chair. "Are you sure?"

"I checked the log. There's nothing of relocation or being checked out since yesterday, when I checked them in. It's the only reasonable explanation."

Schneider rubbed his chin. "It must have been someone from inside. Or even the Congress, there's drug criminalization debate going on currently."

"Really? Won't that hurt our economy?"

"Yes, according to our research we seem to be the number one regional producers of marijuana, cocaine, prescription drugs, meth, rohypnol, LSD, and PCP. Most on the black market, of course, but it still helps the economy. I doubt it passes, but still," he paused, "that's valuable research to have, so losing it isn't help. Run an investigation. This is your project for at least the rest of the day."

"Yes, sir," Katie said, and exited Schneider's office.

[Vephrall]

Renário's job hinges on Weegies, Kura-Pelland wins

MEICE — With two matches remaining in World Cup 50 qualifying and the Auric Wolves very much on the outside looking in, the Vephraller Foutbiller Restritris has indicated that nothing short of successful qualification will be acceptable, and the continued employment of national team manager Renário will be contingent on it.

Following matchday 20, Vephrall sat in third place in Group 3, five points behind the Weegies, who are in the second and final qualifying place. The Wolves are nine points behind Bostopia, which has officially secured qualification. As a result, not only must Vephrall win the upcoming head-to-head matchup with the Weegies, they must also pick up three points at Kura-Pelland on the final matchday and hope that Pinpo is able to steal a result from the Weegies on that same day.

"We will do what we must do," said Renário when questioned by a Journal reporter. "We cannot control the outcome of Pinpo and the Weegies, but we are surely capable of winning our two games."

Renário was hired by the VFR three years ago during a disappointing World Cup 49 qualification campaign that resulted in the sacking of Sartiros Umsaasad. While there was some small hope that Renário would be able to salvage that qualifying campaign, VFR officials understood that the damage that had been done by then was most likely too much to overcome. After reaching the final of the Cup of Harmony, which the team lost to Sargossa, Renário was expected to lead Vephrall back to the World Cup this time.

[Krytenia]

We've Seen You Here Before...

WHEN it comes to rivalries, everyone in Krytenia knows that the word "nemeses" starts with an S and ends in an A. Starblaydia and Sarzonia are names so often thrown up against the Aces that it seems that everybody knows the inevitable clipshow that precedes a game against either to rote.

But the question is: Who have Krytenia played the most in senior internationals? Let's take a look. Ties are broken by whoever's done the best against the Aces.

11: Phoenicia
Record: P7 W5 D0 L2
Or Fmjphoenix, as the rest of the world knows them. A long-since lapsed member of the World Cup community, they became a legendary rival of the Aces due to a certain piece of golden kitchenware. The Cafetiere Cup, a friendly challenge match, was contested three times between the sides, and was coupled with the group stage match between the sides at World Cup XXIX. Krytenia are the holders, and can't wait to see the Vikings return to attempt to claim it. They'll have to though; more's the pity.

10: The Holy Empire
Record: P7 W3 D0 L4
Our illustrious friends and co-hosts, and a bizarre flip-flop of results. Krytenia won their first three meetings (all of which were during World Cup XXXII); however the men (well, beings of some description) of the Dreamed Realm did "the double" over the Aces in World Cups XLV and XLVI, the latter ending with the men in sky blue missing the World Cup altogether. We forgive them though.

9: Turori
Record: P7 W2 D2 L3
The Eels were the first nation that the Krytenian team could describe as a "rival". Turori were Krytenia's second opponents in their Baptism of Fire III group (after the long-gone Haperd), and then played the Aces twice in Krytenia during Cup of Harmony VII. Net result? Two draws and a win for the Eels. Turori nabbed a further two victories in World Cup XXVIII qualifying, before the Aces grabbed a long-awaited first victory in the prelims for World Cup XXXII. With the Vilitans returning for Fifty, is a return to the fray for the team in brown on the cards for World Cup LI?

8: Demot
Record: P7 W2 D2 L3
For whatever reason, you just don't see them around the World Cup competition any more, but Krytenia and the Dynamo had a tendency to come up against each other - and Demot were worthy opponents. Most notable of the seven encounters between the sides happened here in Krytenia; a four-two defeat that hastened the Aces' defeat from World Cup XL on home soil. They are missed in these here parts.

7: Bostopia
Record: P8 W3 D3 L2
That man, that tank, and his nation. As the preview to their World Cup XLIX meeting put it, the only difference between us and the Bostopians is that we're different kinds of insane. None of the eight games have produced less than two goals, and the exciting three-all draw from the last meeting is pretty much typical of what these sides bring to the table. A worthy, but friendly, adversary.

6: Qazox
Record: P8 W2 D3 L3
Say Qazox to most Krytenians, and they think oversized cattle and cycling. It's somewhat surprising, then, that the Aces and Oxen have met this many times. About the only notable footnote from this entry is that Qazox were the only side Krytenia beat in the unmitigated disaster that was the hosting of World Cup XL.

5: Spaam
Record: P9 W7 D1 L1
We like playing Spaam. Mainly because we usually win. The Waffles were the cause of a rare point back in the days of World Cup XX, when we couldn't win a group match to save our lives, and aside from a single defeat in World Cup XXVI qualifying, we've been taking points off them ever since. The last meeting (a three-nil Krytie victory) was way back in World Cup XXXI though, that I will admit.

4: PSC SLANI
Record: P11 W6 D0 L5
Also known as Commerce Heights, the UCS, Paripana, or whatever they're called this week. The "Rivalry of Goals", the eleven matches between the sides have produced an astonishing 57 goals; notably, eight of those were scored by the Aces in their largest ever victory during qualifying for World Cup XXXII. Their last meeting was Krytenia's first knockout game in six decades; the Aces won on penalties to play their first World Cup quarter-final in six decades.

3: Squornshelous
Record: P11 W4 D3 L4
Eleven matches against the Pshychoes can be condensed into ninety minutes of Krytenian folklore. In World Cup XVI, in only their second qualifying campaign (and helped somewhat by three free points thanks to the withdrawal of The Water Cooler), Krytenia beat Squornshelous by a goal to nothing, securing their first-ever qualification for the World Cup proper. The nine meetings since have produced good football, but not even victory in the World Cup XXXII quarter-final could compete with that one September afternoon over a century ago.

2: Starblaydia
Record: P15 W5 D4 L6
The Men In Mauve. The Purple Peril (so named after the colour and mood of any Starblaydi immediately after you utter the phrase "World Cup Twenty-Nine"). Yes, the rivals, friends, and enemies, both on and off the field. From "The Casaran Job" to "Eight Past Ibanez", and past the first game after the abomination that was West Starblaydia, when the Aces wore hand-me-down kits with taped-on numbers, this game will run and run, and will always create intrigue not just here, but around the world.

1: Sarzonia
Record: P15 W5 D3 L7
The Stars are infamous around here. Their first two meetings with the Aces saw Sarzonia win from twelve yards away; even now, the phrase "Sarzonia on penalties" is used in this country to indicate a heartbraking defeat. The Stars won all of their first six games against Krytenia, and when the Aces eventually made the breakthrough with a one-nil victory in World Cup XXVIII, it was made all the sweeter as it knocked out the Stars in the group stages. Old habits die hard, however, and Sarzonia have learned how to beat the men in sky blue once more. Watch this space.

[Krytenia]

You know what? Sing your own damn song today.

Matchday Blackjack cutoff.

[Schiavonia]

"David."

"What?"

"Bad news."

"What? What is it!?!?"

"You know the oil pump thing?"

"The one you put on the beach to get at the oil?"

"Yes."

"The one all of the island is really rather annoyed at you for?"

"Yes, that one! Well, after we've put all the work in, it turns out there was barely any oil there at all."

"Oh. How much?"

"Well, enough to get us to the Cup of Harmony."

"But... we're two-nil up in a game where if we win, we're through to the World Cup Finals. And there are only ten minutes left. Surely... surely nothing can go wrong now."

"That's where the other bad news comes into it."

"Oh hell..."

"It's the RP machine. It's exploded."

"Yes but... you still don't believe all that RP machine nonsense... do you?"

"Well, believe what you like. But in the space of time we've been having this conversation, the score has been pulled back to two-all."

"I'll book our tickets to Nethertopia and The Weegies now, shall I?"

"Wouldn't do us any harm, I don't think."

"And what else does it mean?"

"Well, we won't be getting any new stadiums or anything soon."

"Oh."

"Still, it's going to be a battle to get the meachine ready in time for the Glynhoran game."

"You mean, there's still hope?"

"Just a little. But not a lot. Not now that their third goal's gone in."

"Ah."

"I'll do what I can, yeah?"

[Jeruselem]

Jeruselem Government News

World Cup 50 Results update

Qualified on MD21 excluding hosts*

01 Candelaria And Marquez
03 Sarzonia
04 Valanora
05 Dancougar
06 Qazox
07 Sorthern Northland
08 Jeru FC
09 Starblaydia
10 Cafundeu
10 Kelssek
13 Bostopia
15 Akbarabad
16 The Archregimancy
19 The Han Empire
20 Jeruselem
21 Peisandros
22 Cassadaigua
23 Bears Armed (Mainland)
24 Newmanistan
27 Secristan
29 Septentrionia
30 Yafor 2
34 The Babbage Islands
41 Arroza
42 Toyur
48 Landau Institute
67 The Weegies

* Host are Holy Empire and them blues from Krytenia. We didn't put beer-loving SN and Jeru FC in the list next to each other on purpose.

Notable failures
17 Capitalizt SLANI (Group 15)
18 Milchama (Group 8 )
25 Kosovoe (Group 4)
26 Vephrall (Group 3)
28 Pasarga (Group 12)

Remaining contenders
Group 5
14 Ad'ihan
37 Uiri

Group 9
43 Aguazul
32 Tyrrin
54 Delaclava

Group 11
97 Schiavonia
36 Sargossa
31 The Macabees

[Aguazul]

One more name. Really, he'd done more than enough; Prado had claimed that the actual football association had come up with two players. There was no way of knowing if they'd yet ascertained said players' names, of course, but they could have found at least one. Couldn't they?

Or he could name someone more recent. There was talk that the right players to nominate were the ones that led their teams as they developed from unranked to serious powers. Miguel Rionda was retiring after the cycle, and wouldn't have to worry about any pressure. Would he deserve a slot, if Aguazul progressed to Krytenia or the Holy Empire?

The thought of the stranger cohost reminded him just how strange the world of football could be. Just when you thought you understood what was going on, were ready to come to terms with it, it would surprise you yet again. There was simply no way of knowing. Perhaps a meteorite would destroy the capital the next day. Perhaps Aguazul would turn out to have been sitting on top of a volcano all along, and it would erupt and ravage the entire country. Perhaps there would be another delay, and another, and they'd always be nervously waiting for a matchday 22 that would never come. He couldn't be sure.

They were children of their times, all of them. He'd been able to research, discover some players he'd never have heard of otherwise. But by and large, the list was his choice. His way of speaking for an era. Somebody had to, and it might as well have been him. Nobody could be perfectly objective, and better him than Melendez anyway.

If Prado wanted him to do it, he'd just have to live with the consequences. Espinoza finished the list, and picked up the phone again.

**************************************************

La Verdad

Slaytesics slay Aguazul

The national football team fell to a defeat by two goals at home to Slaytesics, who upset them in the previous Cup of Harmony. We remain second in group nine after Kelssek beat Tyrrin to clinch their spot in the finals, while Delaclava stay in contention with a defeat of Barnettsville.

The first goal came in the fourteenth minute of play, after Peyo Alarcón had been outplayed by a midfielder on Slaytesics' right side. The midfielder dribbled forward and held off Otoniel Sepúlveda, and duly delivered a pass to a forward who scored. The second would come in minute 37, from a different forward, with a central defender who had come up on a counterattack providing a long assist.

Cristian Delgado admitted that Kelssek's win "would have been wonderful news for us" if we'd managed a victory over Slaytesics, though did seem pleased that we remained second. With the domestic season ongoing, it's a bad time for players to be distracted, despite the fact that the the bulk of the starting roster is now based abroad. Delgado still indicated that Emilio Guaman will be a fifth midfielder for the final match, away in Westmeadow Tavern, with Anbessa Unzues on the bench to start.

Aguazul will be playing for the win; three points would secure their place in the finals. A draw would suffice only if Tyrrin fail to beat Geisenfried. Aguazul could progress with a loss, though this would require Tyrrin to lose as well and Delaclava to not win by enough, in combination with the hypothetical Aguazul defeat, to make up a goal differential differential of eleven. "Hopefully we do our part and don't need to worry about anybody except Westmeadow Tavern," says Beto, despite hoping to patronize at least one tavern or similar establishment offering two beers for the price of one on the final matchday. Delgado is similarly optimistic. "Last time around, we won when we needed to at the end; it just didn't work out overall. It's the other way around; we're in the driver's seat, and we can do this."

**************************************************

"...Jorge Shockey," said Espinoza, only in Spanish.

"Who?" replied Prado in kind.

"Oh, come on. Two time world champion, MVP of the Cafundelense league, named captain to lead his team to great heights. Well, metaphorically speaking."

"Yeah," said Prado, "but which team?"

"The Gnomes."

"Who?"

"The Gnomes," he repeated. "...Is the anathema still in effect?"

Goalkeeper:
Xavier Xu (Ariddia)

Defense:
Lee Branson (Audioslavia)

Midfield:
Jorge Shockey (Come now, you know where he's from...)
Laborious Hawk (Valanora)
Jaime Kuu (Starblaydia)
Naoki Maeda (Dance2Revolution)
Niv Cohen (Candelaria And Marquez)

Forwards:
Peri Busilanta (Bettia)
Vanessa Carpenter (Bedistan)
Jenji Y (Rejistania)
Marc J. Floren (Milchama)

[Cafundeu]

WC (Waldenyr Caldas) COACHING HINTS
Chapter 12 - Post-match reactions

Okay, so you've fielded your selected starting eleven, handled with the situations of the game with your style, did the substitutions accordingly to your ideas... this means, you did everything you could, maybe with only the exception of a rubber ckicken sacrifice or another kind of ritual, or maybe one of those bribe attempts to the referee which never work, and I'm talking about this by experience... erm, nevermind. The point is that, after all the effort made before and during a game, a result will come. Not always related with your effort, and sometimes not even related with the performance of your players or of the opponents... the match will end with a result. And yes, I'm not considering those games postponed due to some weather difficulty or a bomb threat or a huge fight between the players, as these do not end. Basically, any game that ends has a result. And this chapter will handle about how to face the consequences of each game, and how to react at the possible scorelines your team will face. Although I prefer to focus on the media issues, there's also the personal side of the situation, related to self-esteem.

To this last one now, then. As I simply love to talk about myself, I'll put on this site what I remember about my experiences as I coach, especially at the beginning of my career. When you're an unexperienced coach, something I'm not anymore but I was at one day, it's much more difficult to hold your emotions and to avoid being affected to what people say about you and about the consequences of your work. When things are going well, you may stick with too much faith with the victorious strategy, and forget that each game is different from another, and may demand a different attitude... too bad to realize this late. You may also get filled with confidence, at a point this confidence becomes a blind one, in which you'll never accept your responsibility for the bad results. If things are going badly, you may become desperate with the tactics, unable to see which one is the more suitable... you end taking too many or avoid taking any risks, at no criteria. You also lose the confidence in the squad, complaining about the players... or complaining about yourself all the time. Things get only worse if you are too sensitive to the critics, as those can be heavy, and will take you down with ease. I faced both situations.

Let's move to the media part, you're making me remember of some unpleasant events, and I'm almost crying here at home. Erm, let me put myself back on track... oh yes, the reactions of the media, which also demand a reaction from you so they may react back in a better way. If the team wins, depending on the performance of your squad the media may come with some different styles of interaction: they may consider the triumph a lucky one, maybe with the help of the referee or thanks to the mistakes of the opponents. In this case, I sometimes use expletives at the reporter, but it is better to laugh at them and say that a win is a win and you take one at any situation... this always work, unless you use the same excuse of luck when another team defeats you... in this case you end being a hypocrite. They may also praise your team, but here comes the point: they'll hardly praise both the players and you, they'll tend to direct the good comments to one of these jobs... here comes the point of the attention: if you caught their attention, they may praise you. If not, even if your tactics were crucial for the win, it was the performance of the players the only responsible for the three points/qualification.

You'll have to handle well this part. Usually, you want to have your work recognized, but you should not depreciate your players even if your acting was more important than theirs in the match. And when the praise is directed at a single player, I like to divide this praise to the others too. No answer will truly satisfy the reporters, but they usually question some of them less than others. But what if your team loses? Expect the bombardment by critics, the level of them related to the past results... it can range from a surprise loss to a crisis in the club. There are even some days in which the media will not criticize your style or the performance of your team, preferring to praise your opponents, but don't expect many of them. You should always get yourself prepared to react to complaints, and answer them instead of accepting what they say. This is the moment in which you should not please them, because by pleasing them you end admitting that you did wrong in the game... I would never do such a thing... yes, not even when I know I did wrong or that the problems of the team were so obvious that it would be ridiculous to deny... I deny!

Depending on the club you are coaching, two or three losses in a row can already be the beginning of a crisis. Honestly, they simply love crisis, because they can spend all day talking about the flaws in one club and laughing at the losses. More than this, it is also a perfect opportunity for them to add pressure on the coach. No matter if the striker doesn't score for ten games, if the goalkeeper slept during the match or if the referee scored the goal for your opponent after dribbling three defenders, you'll be the main guilty one. The others may be criticized, but you'll be tortured with bad comments. They enjoy to make pressure against coaches, ask for someone to be fired and replaced to another who will be fired later. And I confess that there were moments in which I lost my temper thanks to this pressure... once a reporter asked if my job was at risk after consecutive losses and what I thought about that... isn't this obvious that I'd want to stay? So I answered him: "Oh, surely I'm losing on purpose. I've been fired already. It wasn't so bad, in fact I recommend it... hope it happens to you too." I laughed at their idiot questions, and when someone asked why I didn't stop the crazy grin, I replied: "That's the best part. I can't!"

---

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[Landau Institute]

Landau Institute of Protection and Teaching
Department of Security
External Security Secretary

IMPORTANT REPORT: FOR THE PRESIDENT OF THE MEDICAL COMMITTEE ONLY
LIFE IN THE RETREAT - IX (XX of the series)

"Ah, President Saraiva, you don't know how much we are happy to have finally returned to our main encampment in this island, meeting you and the other doctors again. I can see that we have made many advancements in establishing ourselves in this new land, as we have something that we can call a village here, fully protected from the sentient goats, rays of energy and weird natives of this mystical place. I am satisfied to see this, and hope that we can develop even more, especially by discovering more about Isla Pilsen... by the way, why am I sending a letter to you, if now I am in the same place as you? It seems I got too used to this, but anyway... another thing that I'd like to comment is that I am glad that we were able to keep a more constant contact with the people in the remains of the Landau Institute, who are being able to follow the games of our National Team. The qualification has finally come, and we strongly believe that we will also be able to watch the games even in this island, due to the good advancements in contacting them and receiving signals. This will surely be a wonderful thing, to support our friends in such an important competition!"

REPORT - EIGHTH TRIP TO ANOTHER PLACE

Although we are right now safe from these transportations, thanks to the fact that our encampment is in an area of the island which is not subject of the dimension trips, we have one last story to talk about us visiting other worlds, right before reaching our village. When we were getting close to the border to the safe area, we had to retreat due to the presence of a small group of sentient goats armed with heavy weapons, and they didn't seem to be friendly. Looking for another way to finally return to our homebase, we ended being caught by another teleportation made by the island, waking up in a closed room. The door was sealed, same with the windows. At first we thought we were in a prison, but soon we noticed that it wasn't the case. Some old men dressed with old robes were talking, unaware of our presence. Sealed in that place with them, we weren't feeling good. It was too hot inside there, and the conditions weren't the best ones. Still hiding from these men, we followed what was happening, in order to finally discover what that place was. Soon, it became obvious that an election was happening, and one of our scholars commented:

"How could I not notice this earlier? It is clear this is a religious ceremony, a voting for their new leader!"

"Is it? Perhaps then finally this is our own world... I recognize this style of clothing, it reminds me of a church that exists there."

"Yes, you are right. But I do not spot any of the famous important figures of this religion in our world... none of the Cafundelenses, and this room doesn't remind me of any chapel in Magna Sancta Sedes."

We have seen pictures of the main buildings of this religion in our world before, and sometimes heard of their influential people on the news. Really, nothing was familiar there, which made us conclude that once again we were not in our own world, but in a different one.

"It is impressive how all these different world sometimes have things extremely similar to things in our one." - I said.

"I believe that this is what Isla Pilsen wanted us to notice... that our world is a combination of things present in other dimensions and cultures, becoming something unique." - the scholar commented, an interesting phrase.

"We'll be transported back soon, I believe, but right now we are sealed inside this place... we can just wait."

"I recognize their language. The one leading the ceremony is commenting about the death of their former leader, and introducing the new elections." - our languages expert said.

I asked him to keep listening to what was said. Probably that wouldn't have much importance for us in the end, but there wasn't much more to do in that room. As the ceremony was happening, our friend was keeping us informed of any development, at a point we could understand perfectly the situation:

"It seems that these elections are taking a direction... they are commenting a lot about a certain Luciani, he is now the favourite to win this."

"Who is Luciani?"

"That one wearing the robe."

"Everyone is wearing similar robes here, point at him!" - I yelled, nearly revealing our presence, at the point which he showed me who was the man.

"He seems to be friendly, that must be why he got support." - the scholar said.

Then it finally came the moment in which they announced, between themselves, that he was really the one elected. By watching he stand up to receive the compliments of the other men there, the specialist doctor in our team commented, something very rare during our exploration:

"He doesn't seem to be very healthy..."

[Milchama]

EPIC FAIL! WORST COLLAPSE EVER!

MEMORABLE COLLAPSE IN MEMORABLE CUP!

DOESN'T BODE WELL FOR DEBATE FUTURE!

ANOTHER TERRIBLE DRAW ELIMINATES WARRIORS FROM CUP!

MARGARET A FAILURE, PRAYER TO GOD ENCOURAGED!

[Delaclava]

DNBSports.com

Delaclava, miraculously, still within the scope of qualifying

After facing adversity in a 3-0 loss to Tyrrin, Delaclava inched their way back toward qualifying with a 2-0 win over Barnettsville, and both Slaytesics and Kelssek aided the cause; Slaytesics defeated Aguazul 2-0, and Kelssek, already out of Delaclava's reach, knocked off Tyrrin 3-1 to qualify themselves and push Tyrrin closer to the edge.

Delaclava scored in the 27th minute after Simon De Braden sent a great overlap ball to Alessandro Campeon Berrera, who crossed to Geraldo Ayala for the header into the corner. They struck again in the 57th when Calvin Castillo was tripped in the box after receiving a pass from Simon De Braden. Campeon Berrera nailed the kick from the mark into the bottom left corner. Try as they might, Delaclava couldn't muster any more goals.

Slaytesics took charge early, with goals in the 14th and 37th minutes. They couldn't score any more, but they still held on for the win.

"This was a great win," Graham Torres, who had nine saves, said. "But we can't let up. We've really got to score a lot of goals, and hope Aguazul loses. I heard Simon (De Braden) saying that some teams sacrifice rubber chickens or something to some broad named...Maggie? Mary? Margaret? Something like that."

In any case, Delaclava must make up a GD of 11 on Aguazul. If Delaclava wins and Aguazul loses, and the GD criterion is met, Delaclava would win the tiebreaker because of ties on points and wins. If Delaclava makes up 12 GD or more, they beat Aguazul; if they make up only 11 GD, Delaclava still would most likely beat Aguazul because they would have more goals, barring a complete anomaly in the Aguazul-Westmeadow Tavern game. Tyrrin must also lose; if Tyrrin draws, Delaclava would have to make up 19 GD on Tyrrin and score at least 14 more goals; if Delaclava can only score 14 more goals, Tyrrin would win because they have the head-to-head goal differential.

They have been rumors that Delaclava will be bringing in an offensive specialist to try to generate enough offense to have a chance. Meanwhile, all of Delaclava should be sitting by their fireplaces with piles of rubber chickens.

[Jeruselem]

Lilian Dazza Greenly with Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas ...

Lilian: This is Lilian Dazza Greenly for JGN, I'm with the Jeruselem assistant coach. We made it again Marie.
Marie: Yes, but we have our friends from SN to thank.
Lilian: And more good news, Qazox also made the finals.
Marie: Happy days for everyone in Jeruselem and Qazox.

Lilian: So what's the plans for the next game?
Marie: We're giving our senior players some rest and playing the kids.
Lilian: So who is going to be the team captain?
Marie: I think Princess Shay is the pick, she's a future leader when Pups and Jane retire.

Lilian: It's been a struggle at times.
Marie: Yes, but we're there now. Now to ramp up to the finals.
Lilian: We couldn't beat SN anytime and lost to Jasiyum twice.
Marie: Yes, they are good teams and we couldn't beat them but maybe the finals will be different.

Lilian: Qazians are doing well and looking good for shake at this cup.
Marie: Wouldn't we love a Qazox vs Jeruselem final.
Lilian: Yes, it'd be great although I'd have trouble who to support.
Marie: Well, same here.

Lilian: Looks like most of the top 30 made the finals again.
Marie: Most of the top 20 made it, except for one who can still make it.
Lilian: We did look in trouble at one stage.
Marie: It looked that way, but maybe struggle makes one stronger.

Lilian: Who's taking the team to Queer land.
Marie: Oh them, me. Marc needs quality time with the family.
Lilian: You must be an experienced traveller by now.
Marie: We have the Internet, it helps keep one talking to the family. Unless it's some backwater nation we go to.

Lilian: Not having your own time out?
Marie: I'll take my holidays after the World Cup finals are done.
Lilian: Going to Qazox?
Marie: Well, it's a great place to holiday.

[Sarzonia]

Sarzonia have been getting an education in learning how to treat non-losses as losses.

The coaching staff almost wished unranked Casari could recall their ages-old form and defeat the Stars. It would give James Potherington something to complain about in the post-match address to the team whilst Franz Braddock was still on holiday.

It was not to be. Potherington still had something to complain about. Casari did bear some resemblance to their glory days of the past in Sarzonia's narrower-than-expected 2-1 away victory. Of greater note to a Stars team that had to fight the urge to be indifferent, Arroza clinched the second and final spot in the World Cup finals from Sarzonia's Group 8.

That meant the 18th ranked team in the world, archrivals Milchama, were eliminated from World Cup contention. It meant the Admirals, a team that struggled to qualify for the World Cup finals, would finally get an opportunity to know what playing on the world's grandest stage would feel like.

For Sarzonia, it simply meant one final tune up for the team, in a home match against Fictions in Portland. It meant Diogo Avarel would get the last chance to manage a match that actually counted in the table. Even though it wouldn't count for much since the Stars had long ago punched their ticket to the finals.

"We just didn't execute in the second half," Potherington fumed at the post-match conference. "We got complacent and lazy, and it damn near cost us three points."

The Stars (17-2-0, 53 points) are looking ruefully at world No. 1 Candelaria And Marquez, which currently have an unblemished 19-0-0 mark and only have Libertarian Governance left to face. The Big Blues hammered Libertarian Governance 8-2 at home in their previous meeting.

Meanwhile, fourth ranked Valanora finish the campaign with 49 points, having played their 20th match in a 4-1 victory over Oberour Ar Moro. Their record sits at 16-1-3.

"We're just getting out there trying to win another match," Avarel said. "We're not going to stop just because we've already made ourselves a place at the table."

[Vephrall]

[OOC: Vephrese phone numbers use the same format as most of North America. Numbers used within this post may or may not correspond to real-world phone lines; if they do, this is purely coincidental.]

Renário was not surprised when his mobile phone rang just four minutes after the final whistle sounded. He didn't even have to look at the display and see the number. His assumption, as it turned out, was wrong. The call wasn't dialed from 101-837-1500, the desk of the president of the VFR. No, the president hadn't even bothered to go back to his desk and instead made the call from his own mobile, 306-436-4486.

There would be no press conference in the wake of his departure. This was the Cafundelense way and the way that Renário preferred it. Within half an hour, all the major TV networks had the news and the talking heads on BCN were dissecting it from every angle they could find. Many were quick to point out that Renário (26-5-8) had the greatest winning percentage of any manager in Vephrall national team history, assuming you didn't count Netgorin Ocilla's single match as caretaker just before Renário's arrival. Still, neither the suits nor the fans were going to be pleased with back-to-back failed qualification attempts. It was hard not to think of the position as something of a sinking ship, though. Ranked 7th in the world prior to World Cup 45 qualifying, Vephrall had been on a steady decline since, dropping to 12th, then 17th, then 19th, then 20th, and most recently 26th after settling for second place in the last Cup of Harmony. With another Harmony appearance now a certainty, the Auric Wolves would be pretty much guaranteed to fall out of the top thirty now.

Who in their right mind would take the job now? The VFR insisted just hours after the sacking that they had already received multiple applications, but who would really believe that? In this modern world, the Vephrall job was like a sinkhole.

[Whittoria]

WHITTORIA SUFFERS ROAD LOSS

Mayors can't overcome injuries, still manage offensive output

Story by Jimmy LePage


Whittoria went into the Jeruselem Match down two starters, and left without a win. They suffered a thrashing, losing 5-2; while still managing to score goals, it just wasn't enough.

"We were hoping for a tie," said Brian McNair. "That would have been huge, because they got us the last time around too. But we'll focus on our next matchup against Jasiyun. We want to draw one for the home crowd."

They'll have their work cut out for them, as their goalie, Dermot Mac an Fhoirbhich went down in the 84th minute with a high ankle sprain. No matter how many salt tablets Carlos Spicyweiner gave him he still couldn't put weight on the ankle. Most likely his replacement will be Griogair Còmhan, seeing as how he's the only other goalie on the team unless McNair decides to go with a no goalie set and add another attacker to the fray (which he's done before), in which case Pòl Mac an Oighre and Pàrlan MacGuaire will most likely spilt time.

Jasiyun will be a tough match, too, since they too thrashed Whittoria last time around. Hopefully their last game will be good and will keep Whittoria's soccer fans (all five of them) satisfied until the Cup of Harmony.