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World Cup 50 - The RP Thread

A battle ground for the sportsmen and women of nations worldwide. [In character]

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Sargossa
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1364
Founded: Mar 08, 2009
Compulsory Consumerist State

Postby Sargossa » Fri Mar 19, 2010 10:24 am

It’s been a long old hike so far but with just five games to go it’s got to the stage where a certain ‘Q’ word gets banded about. If you’re lucky to live in one of those sporting powerhouses that breezes through qualification campaigns like hot butter through a cold knife then the problem of actually qualifying for the damn thing is not really much of an issue. For the rest of us it’s a bloody, brutal, uphill battle as ten nations attempt to cram themselves into that one single World Cup place behind the group’s inevitable runaway leader.

Now we’re at that time when the contenders start to thin out as the ‘red death’, or the strangely pleasant ‘orange disappointment’, begins to sweep across the group tables. Here in Group 11 Royalsoldiers, already out of the running, were joined by three other nations. A heavy home defeat for Mantwenic saw their slim hopes exit stage left while even a rare win for San Giorgia a Cremano couldn’t prevent the group’s most exotically named side joining the also-rans and our own Corsairs did for Die Adler.

The comfortable win in Die Adler was in stark contrast to the performance before it, a crushingly awful home defeat to Glynorhan. Away from home Cassa’s side play with a freedom that has seen them rack up three solid away wins since the halfway point of the campaign, a 3 – 0 victory over The Macabees being particularly impressive. In stark contrast, the atmosphere at Soluca’s ediraf Arena is becoming increasingly poisonous. Their were rumblings during the friendly draw with Queer Poco el Mono Ara which graduated into booing, jeering and other unpleasantness in the goalless stalemate with unranked Sel Appa. Against Glynorhan the scenes got really ugly as players from both sides were pelted from the stands and scuffles broke out between home fans and Sargossan security personnel.

Which is more than a little embarrassing for the FFS who moved all qualification games to the capitol after several incidents during the last campaign. Arrests were made after matches in Cordova and Goza two years ago and a qualifier at the Estadio José Romero developed into a full-blown riot, which spilt out into the streets of Durgos, prompting the Federation to move all future games to Soluca until the provinces learnt how to behave themselves. Solutions, thus far, are not really presenting themselves. Playing the reminder of home games behind closed doors would not please the bank balance so we’re as sure as hell not doing that while switching venue to another Sargossan city, Maturín’s Ciudad Deportiva being the most likely candidate, would be seen as an embarrassing climb down. So while those in power argue about it we’ll just keep plodding along.

And that plodding alone will bring runaway group leaders, and already qualified, Dancougar to the mighty ediraf in the Sargossan capitol. And you can beat your life that a win over the, hopefully not interested as they're already qualified, Black Wings will dispel the evil atmosphere as though it were never even there. Fans will certainly be praying for something from the game as we’re getting to the stage where the margin for error is getting rather on the small side. Sargossa currently sit in fourth place in Group 11, a point behind The Macabees and two points off Cueto’s damn kids in second. With a tough trip to fifth placed Valladares in the offing following the crucial visit of Schiavonia to the Archipelago (or possibly somewhere else) it’s all starting to get a little tense.

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Bears Armed
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 21479
Founded: Jun 01, 2006
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Bears Armed » Fri Mar 19, 2010 10:30 am

One of the drawbacks with coming from a mostly-landlocked country is, of course, that you're quite unlikely to have gathered much experience at crossing the seas by boat. Now, most members of the Bear-Belles have done their fair share of travelling -- by one means or other -- since making individual debuts on the international scene but, even so...

"Memo," manager Marra SunDaughter dictated to herself: "If the team is going to have to play a match over on an island, and if the weather forecasters don't absolutely guarantee good sailing conditions, then make sure beforehand that the players you select for that game are ones who generally don't get sea-sick."

She groaned quietly. The islanders were a verry good team that was certain, especially for a nation with such a low population, but she thought that the Belles would probably have been able to hold them to another draw at worst (particularly with equality in the matter of 'special' beer supplies now obtained...) if over half of the squad hadn't still been suffering from the storm-tossed voyage's effects when they stepped out onto the pitch. Still, at least the next match was a 'home' one, and against a team whom the Belles had already beaten convincingly 'away' at that... Against a team that was apparently managing to play on, and even to host 'home' games somehow, despite the fact that its homeland had actually ceased to be a part of "known reality" months earlier, but whose morale must surely have been falling even before it had just fallen so far behind the group's leaders that it had now been eliminated from hope of qualification for the Cup proper...

At that moment Mitzi von und zu Steiffen, the team's doctor, poked her head around the door.
"News just in from Newmanistan, Marra" she said brightly. "Another win for the branch of the Belles whom you sent there, 3-2 over Balida, giving them a 3-1-0 record and placing them top of the table with only two matches left to play..."

"Two matches that just happen to be against their two
highest-rated sets of opponents, Somewhereistonia -- who won the last two 'Eternal Flame' tournaments -- and Secristan, whose last chance at that trophy this time is, though..."
Marra pointed out. "Still, I agree that it's good news. Why don't you go and tell those of the players who are still here, too?"

"Will do!"
Last edited by Bears Armed on Fri Mar 19, 2010 10:50 am, edited 3 times in total.
The Confrederated Clans (and other Confrederated Bodys) of the Free Bears of Bears Armed
(includes The Ursine NorthLands) Demonym = Bear[s]; adjective = ‘Urrsish’.
Population = just under 20 million. Economy = only Thriving. Average Life expectancy = c.60 years. If the nation is classified as 'Anarchy' there still is a [strictly limited] national government... and those aren't "biker gangs", they're traditional cross-Clan 'Warrior Societies', generally respected rather than feared.
Author of some GA Resolutions, via Bears Armed Mission; subject of an SC resolution.
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Cassadaigua
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Posts: 5253
Founded: Sep 19, 2008
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Cassadaigua » Fri Mar 19, 2010 10:59 am

An Announcement from CASE (Cassadagan Association for Soccer Excellence):

Dear hosts of the World Cup, we hear you wish to assemble an all-World Cup team in honor of the 50Th such Cup that is taking place this year. You have extended invitations to all nations to nominate various people to the team and then a vote would take place. Unfortunately, we do not feel as though we can make an educated decision on this. We have only been a part of this scene since World Cup 43, and admittedly we have not committed to memory the names of a whole bunch of foreign stars even in the process. The names that we may recognize are likely because of head-to-head matchups with the nation or we have a good sporting relationship with them.

However you have mentioned that three players from your own nation could be named, and therefore we would like to make some token nominations from Cassadaigua. We realize that these players probably would not be considered by any one else but it is our way of acknowledging their contribution to Cassadagan soccer at an international level. Therefore, we nominate forwards Courtney Ferguson and Stacie Kerrigan-Fraser, and midfielder Meghan Burns.

Now to the wedding day!

Every girl dreams of this day. A podium had been set at Victory Lane at Concord Heights Raceway and it was a beautiful day outside. The bridesmaids and the groomsmen gathered at opposite ends of the podium, closed off to one another, to assemble. Friends and family of both drivers took their seats as did pretty much all of the World Cup team; many of them were more excited to see Shannon Myers dressed up then Kirsten Hopkins because Shannon is who they knew. A traditional aisle had been set up for pairs of bridesmaids/groomsmen to walk down. Kirsten would be accompanied by her mother as Chip awaited by the altar. Shannon Myers went down with the best man, Tim Baker, who was a lifelong friend of Chip Woods, much like Shannon was of Kirsten. Tim’s needing to use a wheelchair did not become a burden on his or her happiness over the occasion. Then came Kirsten with her mom (Cassadagan custom), fighting back the tears because she could extend be eye to eye with Chip, beaming with excitement.

The Priest took over and delivered the sermon, making sure to make a joke about this being the first time he did this at a race track. He made witty analogies between racing and the commitments of marriage. After a wonderful ceremony, Kirsten and Chip were declared wife and husband. Now, the longest race of the lives would begin.

(OOC: I would go on but it is beautiful outside and its a Friday!)
NS Sports’ only World Cup, World Bowl, World Cup of Hockey, World Baseball Classic and International Basketball Championships winner!

(Motorsports, college basketball, and volleyball, too)


Specific Titles: World Cup 50, 51; WBC 14, 16, 19, 50 & 58; WB 8, 22, & 40; WCOH 11 & 39; IBC 13.
Also: CR 40 & 43; CoH 39; Swamp Soccer 4, RTC WC 18 & 19; WVE 6; NSCAA 3, 5 & 9; NSSCRA 7
Runner Up: CoH 40, CR 37, 38 & 41; WB 21, WcoH 8, IBC 12, WBC 13, 15, 47 & 48, DBC 21.
WC Qualified for: 45, 46, 49-61, 67, 79 (DNP WC 69-77), 81-90, 92.
XIII Summer Olympiad: 2nd Most Medals
Hosted: WC 54, 67, 84 & 88; CoH 57 & 73, BoF 47, CR 30, WB 16, WBC 18, 26, 40, 45 & 50, NSCAA, NSCH 1; WLC 7, 30 & 33.

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Delaclava
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5177
Founded: Jul 30, 2008
Democratic Socialists

Postby Delaclava » Fri Mar 19, 2010 1:16 pm

"Dispatch, we need all of CSI here."

This was Chief Homicide Detective Lou Gall. He stood outside the apartment of Doc Pepper, who lay slain with a knife in his back. Officer Andrews and Officers Daniels were taping off the scene. "Detective, when have we needed all of CSI on a case?" Daniels asked.

"When have we attempted to solve such a high-profile case?" Gall shot back.

"And later tonight," the radio said, "we'll be going over the national football team's qualifying run so far."

Gall turned off the radio as everyone on the night shift arrived. Supervisor Mark St. Pierre, John Durgan, Lisa Mahoney, Chris Bell, Shontelle Johnson, Drew Ross, Mitch Sentillo, Sofia Halvorsen, Roxanne West, and Guilia Cammileri. Gall said, "Okay, this is what we have," as everyone listened attentively. "Vic's name is Doc Pepper. Yes, the former baseball manager," he added, seeing the shocked faces. "Penny Flowers, 85 years old, informed Tom Lynch and James Shellack of the sound of fighting and a stench afterward. Tom and James went to get the landlord, Matty Jordan. Matty unlocked the door and found Pepper.

"He's got a knife in his back, and there's a lot of blood. There's a stench, but it's definitely not a decomp. So get on it, there's going to be a lot of evidence. I'll interview the landlord and the tenants involved."

At that moment, the sound of a car was approaching. Gall sighed and shouted to the officers, "Can we get the news car out of here?"

"Lou," Mark said, "I don't think this is a news car."

Gall craned his neck, trying to identify the copters. John said, "Gall, that's not any sort of cab. So what is that?"

Suddenly, Sofia came to the answer. "That's a foreign escort car."

Gall nodded his head and waved it to a parking lot behind the apartment complex. The car stopped, and a man and a woman got out. Gall met the approaching strangers and introduced himself, "Lou Gall, chief Homicide Detective, Catherina PD."

"Detective Todd Collins," the man said. "This is Detective Katy Andrews. We're from Sarzonia, and we're here to help with the Doc Pepper homicide. We hope our presence is welcomed."

"Of course, anything from friends," Gall said. "I'll start asking the landlord some questions."

"Mitch," Mark said, "go with Lou. Drew and Detective Collins, talk with Tom and James. Roxanne, speak with Penny, the old lady. This is a large complex, and we could find a lot of the perimeter, so I'll be taking Shontelle, Chris, Sofia, and Giulia to search there. Lisa, John, and Detective Andrews, collect from the apartment. The coroner's all the way in Fanuk, but this is priority one, so he's coming over as fast as he can. He should be here soon for the body."

----------

"So, Matty," Lou said, "describe exactly what happened."

"Well," Matty started, "Tom and James came to me, and said that Penny Flowers had heard fighting and then smelled a stench. I got the keys, unlocked the door, and found him lying there."

"Unlocked the door?" Mitch asked.

"Yes, from what I could tell, there was no forced entry. No windows were broken, and the back door was closed. Not sure though."

"Did you or anyone else move the body?"

"I knew to stay hands off. The first thing I did was call you guys."

"When's the last time you saw him alive?" Lou asked.

"4:00 in the afternoon. I told him to shut up his pet parrot. He basically told me to shove it and closed the door.

"Doesn't sound like a very nice guy."

"He was alright until he got fired. Then he kind of went down a spiraling path, and as you probably know, he spent a bit of time gay-bashing."

"How did the other tenants like him?"

"They found him okay, I guess. I mean, he wasn't a favorite, but they got along fine."

"You know," Mitch said, "we'd like your fingerprints to rule you out. We understand if you object."

"Take all you need," Matty replied, and Mitch got out the inkpad and a blank 10-card.

----------

"Tell me what you heard and witnessed," Roxanne said.

"Well," Penny said, "about 4 hours ago, 7:00, I heard a lot of shouting. There were four different voices. One was Doc's. The other three sound familiar, but I couldn't tell you who any of the others were. Then there was what sounded like a fight. One of the voices stopped, and the other three continued to talk. Soon after the fight, they all left."

"You say there was a stench. When did that start?"

"After the fight, but before they left. I think it was some sort of disgusting casserole, because I heard an oven going off."

"What were the voices saying?"

"First, Doc was reading cooking instructions out loud. Then one voice entered, and they made small talk. I guess they were friends, but I don't know who the friend was. Then the other two entered, and those two said they were going to plant evidence, or something. The friend's voice panicked and started shouting. My phone rang at that point, so I went to answer it. When I hung up, I heard some punching noises, then metal clanging and then a puncture noise. I'm guessing that's when Doc was killed. The friend's voice started to object, but they threatened him and mentioned kidnapping. The friend's brother, a little girl, and the brother of one of the other two voices were mentioned several time in the conversation, but I couldn't make sense of this part."

----------

The five on the perimeter regrouped. "Have any of you found anything?" Mark asked.

"Nothing," Sofia said, and the others consented.

"How is that? They had to have left something!" Mark exclaimed.

"No footprints in the grass, they used the walkways and didn't step in blood. There weren't any tire tracks. Whoever did this was basically pretty careful about entry and exit."

"Well," Mark said, "let's see how much care went into the act itself."
Sports Honor Roll
Football: 2x WORLD BOWL CHAMPIONS (13 & 15), 1x Runner-up (11), 4x Third Place (41-44), 1x Regional Champions
Hockey: World Cup 16 Third Place, 2x World Juniors Champion (18 & 22), 3x World Junior Runners-up (16, 17, 19), 1x Regional Silver
Basketball: 2x IBC Runners-up (31 and 36), 4x Regional Medal (1 Silver, 3 Bronze)
Lacrosse: 2x Worlds Runners-up (16 and 41) 1x Regional Silver
Soccer: Olympic Gold (V), 3rd at IAC 18 3rd at Di Bradini Cup 15, 4th at Baptism of Fire 34
Host of WC 55; CoH 44, 46, 84, and 87; BoF 72; World Bowl 11, 15, 39, and 43; IBC 7 and 31; AOCAF 31; WJHC 16 and 18; etc. Founder of Scott Cup and World Team Tennis Championship.

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Shivat
Spokesperson
 
Posts: 183
Founded: Jun 11, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Shivat » Fri Mar 19, 2010 1:26 pm

Image

Image

Decisive victory against Handicapia
Friday, March 19, 2010|World Cup 50|By Park Jae-Yoon|Shan Lu, Shivat


After such a bad cup where our national team hasn’t been able to have results as good as the ones of the last cup, we finally see a good result, finally we are 8th in our group, when we have been the entire qualifying time between the 10th and the 11th positions which are the two lowest of every group, but finally seems like the results of the hard training of our national team have finally shown some success, now we only hope that we can win in the next match. Still, some argue that the results of this position aren’t thanks to this hard training as it hadn’t proved to be enough prior to the kidnap of national coach James Saint-John, and after that and because of the pressure on the player’s shoulders they are actually working as good as we hoped but not near as good as World Cup 49, when we ended 4th on the group. And as a final note prior to the start of the real article of the match I, in the name of the Shan Lu Sports, would like to make clear our position against the kidnap of James Saint-John and we call for his liberation.

The match, played in the Shan Lu Metropolitan Arena , started with a goal of Jung Ji-Young in minute 17 of the first part after a great combined play between him and one of our less notorious midfielders, Seol Jae-Pyo, who just for curiosity is the president of the SFA’s grandson. This goal showed a superior skills and play of our national football team at least during the first part of the match, when also Ji-Young scored their second goal in the minute 34 of the same first part, and finally, in the minute 43 minute 58 second, Yeom Tae-Hwi, scored our third and last goal of the match. And just after the 15 minute break, the team became less and less motivated and too much self-confident which will lead them almost to another draw which could have final a horrible end for the match.

The second part of the match started again with the change of the positions of the fieldfs between both teams and with a major sign in the field for the fast recover or of the body of James Saint John or of course better, that the kidnaper freed him, after a the minute of silence of both teams the match restarted.

It continued with the first handicapian goal, scored in minute 25 of the second part, when the clear dominance of the handicapian team became too evident after the lack of good play of our team. This goal wasn’t a clear signal of the rival’s growing quality game but it was an advice of it. This goal was also a leading goal that Handicapia hoped for them to win or at least draw the match

The second goal of Handicapian was scored in minute 42 of the second part by handicapian central forward after what can be considered an epic fail of our national defenders line and later, of our national goalkeeper, Kim Sung-Ho , who didn’t jump enough as to stop the ball from entering .

But thanks God, after that, our national team could stop the rest of attacks of the handicapian team which assured during those long 3 final minutes that the rival team could have took advantage to make a draw but as I have said before our defenders behave greatly and bravely and also moved very quickly, all in order to stop the rivals from scoring a decisive third score.
Last edited by Shivat on Fri Mar 19, 2010 1:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Eastfield Lodge
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 10029
Founded: May 23, 2008
Democratic Socialists

Postby Eastfield Lodge » Fri Mar 19, 2010 1:38 pm

The Gazzette Sports


We're running out of excuses.

Yep, it seems that we are just running out of excuses to tell you why we aren't doing our job regularly. Well, our excuse now is that we aren't getting paid by the main paper, and we can't afford to live on that, so we've been on strike. Good enough? Probably not, but anyways, that's another four, no, five matches that we need to report on. I should get paid overtime for that.
So, first match, the match which was described as a must win if we wanted a serious chance of qualifying, and as everyone in the country was hit by a flu epidemic, we had to field a slightly reserve and defensive squad to face Uiri. Still, the risk payed off and we came out with a 2-2 draw, Dylan Bell bagging both goals after coming on as a substitute for a seemingly injured Shabeen Ahmad III, after going 2-0 down. The good news was that it was a minor knock, something which would be cleared up after the next matchday, which fortunately was a bye day for the team.
The second of the five matches was a rather humiliating away match, losing 1-0 to An Blascoad Mor, who are surprisingly not eliminated. Tomás Ó Súilleabháin provided the only goal, in the 34th minute. I, for one, wouldn't have liked to be in that dressing room after the match.
The third of five was a return to what things should normally be, a 4-0 rout of Copremesis, with the reserve side out on duty. Sameer Ahmad provided the opening two goals, and Wayne Brookes broke his own shot speed record (now 500 m/s) in providing the third, with Bennett Wood running the length of the pitch to score the fourth, which makes it the third goal by a keeper in two World Cups for us.
The momentum of that rout must have carried the team through the first half of the return match to Bears Armed (Mainland), match number 4. We went 2-0 up, with Shabeen Ahmad scoring both goals. Then both he and Matthew Lawrence got pretty severely tackled, and the two offenders only got yellows; perhaps the referree was intimidated in some way. The two were taken off with splendid applause, but Shabeen Ahmad III was deemed to be out for the next three matchdays, and Matthew Lawrence, well, is now considering retiring as his injury has basically ended his international career and only by some miracle will he partake in whatever tournament we end up in. The loss of the captain however killed the team's morale, and Urrsa SunBlesséd scored four times in twenty minutes to seal the victory. So much for revenge.
Number five out of five came from another reserve side, playing a 3-5-2 formation, against Den Reidpethe Cinneadh. It was a well-deserved 2-1 victory, and the team avoided a total humiliating experience of losing 4 out of 4 to unranked sides. Dylan Bell, wearing the captain's armband, was inspired and scored the two opening goals, before a Dimitar Klitschko own goal brought the opposition back into contention.
So, with all those results, here is the table for Group 5:
Pos  Team                       P   W   D   L   GF   GA   GD  Pts
1 Ad'ihan 15 11 2 2 46 20 26 35
2 Bears Armed (Mainland) 16 10 3 3 45 27 18 33
3 Uiri 16 8 6 2 39 22 17 30
4 Eastfield Lodge 15 8 2 5 37 21 16 26
5 Swartaz 15 8 2 5 35 30 5 26
6 An Blascaod Mor 15 7 5 3 26 23 3 26
7 Balida Minor 16 5 3 8 27 36 -9 18
8 Euroslavia 16 4 3 9 21 34 -13 15
9 Copremesis 15 3 3 9 17 35 -18 12
10 Obrenovacia 15 2 4 9 17 38 -21 10
11 Den Reidpethe Cinneadh 16 1 3 12 15 39 -24 6




Team to play Obrenovacia: Shabeen Ahmad III and Matthew Lawrence are injured

GK: Aidan Jagger

RCB: Wayne Brookes
LCB: Geoff Wood
RB: Ben Patterson
LB: Dimitar Klitschko

DMF: James Scott
RMF: James Tarpy
LMF: Ben Maddison
AMF: Alex Gallagher

RCF: Dylan Bell
LCF: Sameer Ahmad

Goal Tally WC50:
Shabeen Ahmad III: 15
Dylan Bell: 12
Matthew Lawrence: 4
Wayne Brookes: 3
Sameer Ahmad: 3
Aidan Jagger: 1
Adam Johnson: 1
Ben Maddison: 1
Chris Lau: 1
Bennett Wood: 1

Pre-qual 1: (H) 1-1.The Babbage Islands (Parliament Stadium, Lodgertia)
Pre-qual 2: (H) 1-0 Toiletdonia (Dillvill Park, north of country)
MD 1: (A) 1-2 Uiri
MD 2: BYE
MD 3: (H) 2-3 An Blascoad Mór (Parliament Stadium)
MD 4: (A) 1-0 Copremesis
MD 5: (H) 3-2 Bears Armed (Mainland) (Dillvill Park)
MD 6: (A) 1-2 Den Reidpethe Cinneadh
MD 7: (H) 6-0 Obrenovacia (Parliament Stadium)
MD 8: (A) 4-1 Ad-ihan
MD 9: (H) 3-3 Swartaz (Dillvill Park)
MD 10: (A) 2-0 Balida Minor
MD 11: (H) 4-0 Euroslavia (Parliament Stadium)
Mid-qual 1: (H) 2-2 Burchadinger (Parliament Stadium)
Mid-qual 2: (A) 1-0 Sarzonia
MD 12: (H) 2-2 Uiri (Dillvill Park)
MD 13: BYE
MD 14: (A) 0-1 An Blascoad Mór
MD 15: (H) 4-0 Copremesis (Parliament Stadium)
MD 16: (A) 2-4 Bears Armed (Mainland)
MD 17: (H) 2-1 Den Reidpethe Cinneadh (Dillvill Park)
MD 18: @ Obrenovacia
MD 19: vs. Ad'ihan (Parliament Stadium)
MD 20: @ Swartaz
MD 21: vs. Balida Minor (Dillvill Park)
MD 22: @ Euroslavia
Post-qual 1: vs. Westmeadow Tavern (Dillvill Park, so both teams have home advantage)
Post-qual 2: @ The Ursine Northlands
Economic Left/Right: -5.01 (formerly -5.88)
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.31 (formerly 2.36)
ISideWith UK
My motto translates to: "All Eat Fish and Chips!"
First person to post the 10,000th reply to a thread on these forums.
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This nation partially represents my political, social and economic views.

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Valanora
Senator
 
Posts: 4797
Founded: Sep 03, 2007
Democratic Socialists

Postby Valanora » Fri Mar 19, 2010 2:08 pm

Valanora Times
Err, Copycats!


With only a point earned by the Marauders or a point dropped by Taeshan to officially clinch Valanora's spot in the Proper (ed. and you mistakenly said a win last week would do so, do your research next time.) and with the side hitting full stride, we have decided to take our attention away from the field for a week. With the calls for Football Associations to send in their nominations for an All-Time XI, it has got us wondering, what would the All-Time XI for the Marauders be like? With many of the best players in the Marauders history playing either a striker or winger position, we were hard pressed to find a combination of players that would fit a valid formation. Another problem that our staff ran into in attempting to make this list, is that with our elongated lifespans, there is very little turnover in the squad. For instance, Laborious Hawk has started on the National Team sine World Cup 38, over 23 years. Many footballers are fortunately if their careers even last half of that. One final and minor problem that we posed to derail this project was the fact that so many of our best players have played in the most recent of World Cups. Regardless of these obstacles, here is the Best XI in Vanorian history.

GK: Akihiko Yoshida
CB: Dwier Titenburg
CB: Hizzen Hocn
CB: Mathias Nickel
RW: Espy va Drake
LW: Tiradir Jannian
MC: Faeron Soldarian
MC: Justinian Constant
AMC: Laborious Hawk
ST: Kiso Night
ST: Ikles Razov

Manager: Orophin Anárion

Of note, Yoshida is the only player on the team that was not born in any of the nations currently composing of Valanora, having been born in the now defunct nation of Assegai Developments. Yoshida is also the only human to have made the list, which caused a few eyebrows to be raised, while no Vyintanese or Templar were included. Regardless, the names on this list are respected and honored names throughout the commonwealth, and a few of them names that are to be remembered in all of the footballing community.
World Cup 40, 42, 43, 52, & 61 Champions
WC 47, 51, 94 (2nd), WC 34, 38, 39, 41, 44, 45, 53, 60, 67, 92 (3rd), WC 49, 58, 87, 90 (Semifinalist), WC 33, 35-37, 46, 48, 54, 55, 62, 63, 65, 72, 83, 85, 86, 88, 91 (Quarterfinalist)
WCoH VII, VIII, XVII, XXVIII, XXX, XXXII (1st), WCoH I, XXXI, XL (2nd), WCoH II, XXIX (3rd), WCoH XII (4th)
AOCAF 44, 46, 51, 53, 65, 68 Champions, AOCAF 39, 43, 55, 59, 64 Runners Up
Co-Hosted: too many events to count

EPL Season 20,073

I am that which I am and choose to be.

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F1-Insanity
Minister
 
Posts: 3476
Founded: Jul 09, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby F1-Insanity » Fri Mar 19, 2010 2:16 pm

Scorinators being blackmailed?
F1-Insanity's hyphen structurally missing

Ever since the rumours about some folks not taking a liking of our use of a hyphen in our nation's name, we've been scrutinizing the World Cup scorinators and are now wondering whether or not they are being blackmailed, we continually have to add our own hyphen to the group rankings. Never mind that we are mathematically eliminated, we want our hyphen recognized! Hyphen! It's "F1-Insanity", not "F1 Insanity". Why on earth would we name our nation and not use the hyphen? In who'se interest is it that the hosts refuse to use the hyphen in our name?

F1-Insanity 2 (Humes 82, Lockwood 89)
Silver Beach 0


Betting ring rumours? Players bought?
Just four games to go, three against higher ranking teams and one more against a lower ranked team. And after 16 games, amazingly, our record is still 100% against lower ranked teams and 0% against higher ranked teams. We mean, how much more predictable can it get? The Football Association of F1-Insanity will launch a full scale investigation because recently it became known that some people have placed rather heavy bets on the 100% vs lower ranked/0% against higher ranked continueing right to the finish. More on this later, hopefully.

We are however quite happy to be in 6th place, it means we would be ranked between 76th and 90th based on these qualifiers, and that would be a huge ranking improvement. That of course is great news!

Group Two
Pos  Team                       P   W   D   L   GF   GA   GD  Pts
1 Cafundeu 16 15 0 1 71 20 51 45
2 Secristan 16 12 2 2 54 25 29 38
3 Isslemere Nieland 16 8 6 2 32 18 14 30
4 West Pocono 16 9 3 4 31 25 6 30
5 Northern Bettia 15 7 4 4 30 37 -7 25
6 F1-Insanity 16 7 0 9 23 30 -7 21
7 Blouman Empire 15 2 6 7 23 41 -18 12
8 HappyFreedom 15 3 2 10 22 40 -18 11
9 East Lithuania 15 2 4 9 21 40 -19 10
10 Great Lenin 15 2 2 11 24 38 -14 8
11 Silver Beach 15 1 5 9 24 41 -17 8
Last edited by F1-Insanity on Fri Mar 19, 2010 2:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
F1-Insanity Factbook
World Bowl XII: Winner
Why yes, I am a progressive and social human being, thanks for asking!
Think about the numbers in terms that we can relate to. Remove eight zeros from the numbers and pretend it is the household budget for the fictitious Jones family:
-Total annual income for the Jones family: $21,700
-Amount of money the Jones family spent: $38,200
-Amount of new debt added to the credit card: $16,500
-Outstanding balance on the credit card: $142,710

-Amount cut from the budget: $385
Help us Obi Ben Bernanki, printing more money is our only hope... for a big bonus! - Wall Street
Bush's 'faith' was the same political tool as Obama's 'hope'.

User avatar
The Archregimancy
Game Moderator
 
Posts: 30598
Founded: Aug 01, 2005
Democratic Socialists

Postby The Archregimancy » Fri Mar 19, 2010 2:38 pm

The Archregimancy 3 Al Mumtaz 1

The Post Match Press Conference


"Metropolitan Kyrill, you must be proud of the lads today"

"Yes, they played well; it's a game of two halves, but they gave 110%"

"What about these rumours regarding the conversion of Mrs. & Mr. Kirsten and Chip Woods to the Orthodox Church? Is there any truth in them?"

"Well, she's just a small town girl livin' in a lonely world; she took the midnight train goin' anywhere. He's just a city boy, born and raised in the south Babbage Islands - he took the midnight train goin' anywhere."

"I see, Your Grace - and does it bother you that they're having a child out of wedlock?"

"A singer in a smoky room, a smell of wine and cheap perfume; for a smile they can share the night - it goes on and on and on and on"

"That suggests that you're surprisingly relaxed about the whole premarital sex issue."

"Strangers waiting up and down the boulevard; their shadows searching in the night. Streetlight people living just to find emotion; hiding somewhere in the night. And besides, they're not Orthodox - so just why are you asking me questions about such a peripheral issue?"

"Are you pleased with the team's result this evening? Formal qualification must surely be close now."

"Working hard to get my fill, everybody wants a thrill; payin' anything to roll the dice just one more time. Some will win, some will lose, some were born to sing the blues. Oh, qualification never ends - It goes on and on and on and on"

"Rather. And do you have a special message to monastic football fans this Lenten season?"

"Indeed I do: Don't stop believin' - hold on to that feelin'."
Last edited by The Archregimancy on Fri Mar 19, 2010 3:02 pm, edited 2 times in total.

User avatar
Alasdair I Frosticus
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1482
Founded: Antiquity
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Alasdair I Frosticus » Fri Mar 19, 2010 2:43 pm

I wanna hold em' like they do in Texas Plays
Fold em' let em' hit me raise it baby stay with me (I love it)
Luck and intuition play the cards with Spades to start
And after she's been hooked I'll play the RP CUT OFF card

Can't read my, can't read my

MATCHDAY 18 SCORES
Last edited by Alasdair I Frosticus on Fri Mar 19, 2010 3:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Τί ἐστιν ἀλήθεια?

User avatar
Schiavonia
Diplomat
 
Posts: 591
Founded: Sep 26, 2005
Ex-Nation

Postby Schiavonia » Fri Mar 19, 2010 7:48 pm

"It's amazing!"

"Absolutely!"

"Our kids went to The Macabees and won!"

"Yes. The atmosphere over here amonst the Schiavone fans is unbelievable!"

"And how many of them are there?"

"Well we've had a decent away following here. So seven."

"That's some turnout."

"It is. And they're dancing in the street. Which, amongst thousands of downbeat Macabee fans, is quite an odd sight."

"Indeed."

"And, because of this, we could qualify!"

"Don't be silly."

"Actually, we could. If results go the ways they're expected to, we'll get enough points to finish in second place, even if we lose to Sargossa."

"Yes, but if results went the way you'd expect them to, we'd be seventh. Or maybe sixth, Mantenwic are pretty rubbish."

"We're not going to the World Cup, are we?"

"Still probably not, no."

User avatar
Toyur
Envoy
 
Posts: 228
Founded: Jun 03, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Toyur » Fri Mar 19, 2010 7:52 pm

Toyurska Sportnyhet


DELAYED GRATIFICATION
Draw and SLANI loss sets up 'win and in' scenario
by Anders Alfven

CARPATHIA AND RUTHENIA (TP) - Normally, a draw this late on, in the type of place where three points is generally expected, has eyes rolling in homes and pubs everywhere. Used to late on qualification results that disappoint and mystify rather than encourage and inspire; an away draw against a decently ranked side generally sends Toyur downwards in the table as their rivals all manage victories.

Yet there was a consensus feeling of joy at the fact that Toyur failed to take advantage of Capitalizt SLANI's 2-0 loss in Loasils, itself the result of a highly ranked team who may have lost interest in an increasingly unlikely qualification spot. The loss meant that Toyur needed a win in C&R to clinch its first qualification spot for the World Cup in her short history, and a chance to play in the prestigious 50th edition of the competition. Toyur have surprised all who watch them with their strong overall campaign (matches with BrightonBurg notwithstanding), but those who haven't been surprised have been those who are involved with the players themselves.

'It's been overall what we've expected as far as the level of play we've put out there,' manager Toomas Ergma said after his side's draw. 'We figured that we would have problems in certain areas and strengths in others, and tried to accentuate those strengths. What we didn't expect was the wild results from the rest of the table, but we don't control that and it's benefitted us very much.'

The draw with C&R, while nothing spectacular, means that Toyur now lead Capitalizt SLANI by 11 points with four matches remaining. They also lead in many other tiebreaking categories, but with home matches with both Saint Haden and IDesperado remaining, as well as the match between those from Commerce Heights and Peisandros, it's now virtually become a matter of not if, but when. None would like it more to have the side clinch qualification in their home country, rather than on a not so distant Peisandros pitch, or in Jesselton. Ergma would much rather have qualification wrapped up by the time that these tough visits happen, and they have that chance in Österland against IDesperado, who have fallen off sharply after their strong and surprising start to the campaign. The potentially-historic moment can be seen live on TSTV1.

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Qazox
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 21295
Founded: Jan 17, 2006
Ex-Nation

Postby Qazox » Fri Mar 19, 2010 8:07 pm

(ooc: Lady Gaga? :twisted: :evil: not gonna touch that one with a 10-foot-pole)

WORLD CUP 50 Coverage


Thanks to Pays de Horreur's off day, Pokemonman's upset of The Han Empire, and a 5-0 blasting of Tentalon; Qazox moves closer to a 18th trip to the World Cup finals in the past 80 years, as they lead the co-third placed teams, Pays de Horreur and West Zirconia; by 9 points with just 4 matches left for each team. Qazox will clinch with a victory over Seven Castles. With the Han Empire's loss, Qazox moved to within 5 points of the group lead.

The game was delayed for 20 minutes due to a power failure in the northeast light tower. It was later learned that the stadium manager, a Mr. Kevin Smythe; forgot to re-link the power cables after routine maintenance earlier in the week.

After that Qazox put the lights out of the Tentalon team scoring all five goals in the first half. Head Coach Kallie Jaus used mostly the bench in this game, as Qazox will have to travel to Seven Castles; where it is expected that the bench will receive most of the playing time as well in that game.

Goals tonight were scored by: Benjamin Franks (14th and 24th), Dante Dukes (18th), Lucy Chadwick (32nd) and D'andre Fulton (44th).
Wikipage/Qazox National Football Team
Qualified for World Cups 31, 33, 35-50, 54-59, 61, 62. Runners-up: CoH 52
Baptism of Fire 44 (w/Mangolana); World Baseball Classics 1, 4, 5, 10, 13 and 23; World Cup of Hockey 7 and 14; World Bowls IV & IX; IBC X; Baptism of Iron III and VIII; NSCAA Tourney II, III (conferences/regionals), The OXEN Cup; the TOUR de QAZOX, Qazoxian Sports Festival and NS X-Games/Winter X-Games I.
World Cups of Hockey 4 & 6; World Baseball Classics 6, 8 and 9, World Bowls 3 and XXI; Draggonnii Inviyatii V, IBC XI
xkcd 1110 (zoomable!)

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Warkus
Diplomat
 
Posts: 778
Founded: Nov 21, 2009
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Warkus » Fri Mar 19, 2010 11:23 pm

The Reuchin Tribune
Lo, There shall be The Warkus All-Stars P&F (Past And Future)


After long chats with old Warken Football players, a formation of a All-Stars squad has succeeded. The players will play little football, and are mainly for show. These are the best of the best, and are a P&F (Past And Future) squad, having players from 20 years ago and now.



Let's see who made the squad:


GK: Yuu Saan (Past)
DEF: Vlo Ju (Past)
DEF: Black Stevens (Future/Current)
DEF: Osc Brown (Past)
MID: Ben Rodgers (Future/Current) (Captain)
MID: Kingsley Rodgers (Future/Current)
MID: Ru'tovu Jackson (PAST A-DUHHHHHHHHHH)
ATK: Victor Vos (Future/Current)
ATK: Vladimir Lucian (Future/Current)
ATK: John Ayatola (Past)



Hey! Check out their kits!

Home: Image




Away: Image



3rd/Goalkeeper: Image
Host of the 11th International Basketball Championship

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The Babbage Islands
Senator
 
Posts: 3767
Founded: Mar 25, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby The Babbage Islands » Fri Mar 19, 2010 11:48 pm

Sporting Magazine Interviews Ganz Ijak

As football's World Cup 50 qualifying moves into its final weeks, we had a chance to sit down with The Babbage Islands manager Ganz Ijak following a critical win over Iles Arctiques in round 18.

Sporting: Thank you for taking time to talk with us.
Ijak: I am pleased to do it.
Sporting: After this win, the Bumblebees lie third, one point out of a spot in the tournament. How do you like the team's chances?
Ijak: We got the help we needed from Jeru FC beating Kosovoe. We still need outside aid. If Kosovoe win their final three we cannot catch them. But if we win our last three they must also win out to qualify.
Sporting: Do you think you'll win all three?
Ijak: (laughs) This is football, anything can happen. Gordon Bay City at home, Connar Republic away, Montebank at home. We're favourites in all three. But recall that Connar drew us at home in the first leg.
Sporting: Right. No predictions, then.
Ijak: I predict that we'll go all-out to win all three.
Sporting: In recent matches you've done some formation-shifting away from your usual 4-4-2. Any reason for the change?
Ijak: As I learn what my players can do I try to fit a system to them.
Sporting: You were using what, a 4-2-3-1 against Iles Arctiques?
Ijak: That's right.
Sporting: Why?
Ijak: The 4-2-3-1 highlights a strong playmaker and good wingers, playing them forward in the midfield and giving up one striker. Tegan Nash is a world-class playmaker, and Orson [Cook] and Patty [Heatherly] are a superb pair of wingers. We were bound to try it sooner or later.
Sporting: Three to two. Goals by Cook, Heatherly, and striker Debbie Sherman. Assists by Nash on all three.
Ijak: And those four average what, 24 years old?
Sporting: A young, gifted crew up front there.
Ijak: Two from the Cafundéu First Division, the other two from the Premier League champions. The future of international football.
Sporting: Let's hope you're right. World-class, you say. Is Nash that good?
Ijak: Clube Comercial think so. They're not accustomed to throwing away their hard-earned money. I think she's the most adaptable midfielder I've ever seen. In ten years we'll know if she's truly great. Cafundéu will prove her.
Sporting: What does she need to prove?
Ijak: Great players, in addition to their skills, can pick up a team and carry it on their back through adversity. She did that when we were down 2-1 to Iles Arctiques. Do that against Candelaria and Marquez or Petardos S/A and the world notices.
Sporting: Any thoughts on the Kelli Alder signing?
Ijak: Belgium's new owners are gambling, and so is she. They're not in the Premiership yet. But don't be surprised if they sign several Cassadagan players before their honeymoon is over.
Sporting: That's right. Kirsten Hopkins and Chip Woods are now wife and husband, as they say there.
Ijak: They've been a busy pair.
Sporting: You could say that. (chuckles) Thanks again, and good luck.
Ijak: My pleasure.
NS World Cup: Runner-up 55/59; Third place 50/52/58/62/63; Host 49/54/60.
Founding member, Global Cricket Federation; 2x Twenty20 world champions.
FactbookRedballer scorinator for test cricket
Community football scorinator and CFC v2.1 (rules)

User avatar
Milchama
Diplomat
 
Posts: 995
Founded: Apr 29, 2005
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Milchama » Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:56 am

"You know history's been a big thing around these parts lately"

"It most definitely has and for good reason, it is the 50th World Cup."

"So with that in mind I ask you, what is the biggest choke job in terms of not qualifying in World Cup history and where do Milchama fall on it?"

"Well I don't know but seeing an 8 point advantage and first place in the group become a 3 point advantage for second place is just awful"

"It really is, this should not be happening"

"We need something drastic to reverse the slide"

"Yeah something crazy but what?"

"Well we do have a tradition of doing crazy things"

"True, but what can we do now"

"We could do the thing that we are famous for"

"What the heck are we famous for? Marc J. Floren can't play in every game"

"GODDAMNIT I'M TALKING ABOUT SACRIFICING A RUBBER CHICKEN!"

"Oh wow I'm an idiot. Are you sure you want to do that?"

"Maybe, I'd give it one more match because I think we can win our next one"

"Well we really should have beaten Verbatia. You do realize since MD 13 we are 0-2-3"

"That's pathetic"

"That's beyond pathetic, that's bloody useless. I think it calls for extreme measures"

"Really sacrificing is necessary now?"

"Maybe let's sacrifice a goat to god"

"For what?"

"For our sins, maybe it'll help"

"The Beit HaMigdash was destroyed a long time ago. Also, I don't think G-d would approve us sacrificing stuff for sports teams, they are just a minor diversion you know?"

"True, but we need to do something crazy"

"How about we riot?"

"Ok, now you're talking! How do you start a riot?"

"Hmmm... hold on a second let me look"

"'A friend of a friend he got beaten//He looked the wrong way at a policeman.' That's what Kaiser Chiefs say"

"Ok then let's get a policemen to do something stupid"

"Excuse me sir"

"Yes?"

"Can you start a riot?"

"Certainly, hold on"

"SCREW YOU ALL!"

"Thanks!"

"Oh my god!"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

"Go Milchama!"

"Come on You Warriors!"

"Come on you Warriors!"

"AHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

*A riot ensues*
Milchama Sports achievements:
World Baseball Classic 23 Champion!
Note: The demonym is Milchamian. There are two of the letter "I(i)" and not one.

3x CoH winner (29, 46, 50) 3x WBC winner (4,5,23), 1x World Cup host (32) Various other minor trophies there's a football club trophy, a kleptochase trophy, Other minor international football trophies.

User avatar
F1-Insanity
Minister
 
Posts: 3476
Founded: Jul 09, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby F1-Insanity » Sat Mar 20, 2010 5:46 am

Censorship is offensive
Whittorian newspaper buckles under liberal pressure

F1-Insanity Daily Observer stands up for freedom of the press, pc liberalism rejected
In solidarity with Horatio Keen, the Daily Whittorian intern, who had replaced famous columnist Jimmy LePage who was for once unable to write his usual matchday article, The F1-Insanity government has directed our largest newspaper, The Daily Mulcahey, to reprint the article on our paper's front page.

Some pc liberal apparently was 'offended' at the following picture and the little descriptive text under it:

[float=left]Image
Text removed & picture replaced because point has been made (RP-wise).
[/float]
The Daily Whittorian is reminded, once you start apologizing for 'offending' people when no one except pc liberals were really offended, that's when the terrorists win. Self-censorship, that is what they want.

And look at the picture! And the text under it, it doesn't even say 'he is a homosexual', but instead 'I am pretty sure he is', which would reflect the writer's opinion. Since when should opinions be subject to scrutiny by pc-liberalism?

And also, we'd like to point out that there is 'no such thing as the right not to be offended'. A feeling of 'being offended' is totally subjective, and where one person is offended if you merely point at him, the other one may never feel offended.

The only things we in F1-Insanity find offensive are democracy and communism. Oh and censorship of course (except where it comes to censoring views that our government finds 'objectionable').

Mr. Horatio Keen is free to apply for a job at our nation's grandest newspaper, the Daily Mulcahey, the paper that brought you this important message of solidarity in the battle against pc liberalism.


F1-Insanity Certifieds enjoy day off
The Certifieds didn't play a game yesterday, as our beloved team has been enjoying the second bye week of the schedule. With 7 wins and 9 defeats and 6th place in the group our team has done reasonably well so far, though we are still waiting for that first point against a higher ranked team. We have three more shots at it.

Our remaining schedule:
MD19: A - West Pocono (56)
MD20: H - Cafundéu (10)
MD21: A - East Lithuania (unranked)
MD22: H - Blouman Empire (90)

The final game against Blouman Empire might be the crucial battle for 6th place, but since we now enjoy a 9 point lead over them (and 7 over HappyFreedom) with four games to go, anything less than 6th place would be a massive disappointment.
Last edited by F1-Insanity on Sat Mar 20, 2010 3:10 pm, edited 7 times in total.
F1-Insanity Factbook
World Bowl XII: Winner
Why yes, I am a progressive and social human being, thanks for asking!
Think about the numbers in terms that we can relate to. Remove eight zeros from the numbers and pretend it is the household budget for the fictitious Jones family:
-Total annual income for the Jones family: $21,700
-Amount of money the Jones family spent: $38,200
-Amount of new debt added to the credit card: $16,500
-Outstanding balance on the credit card: $142,710

-Amount cut from the budget: $385
Help us Obi Ben Bernanki, printing more money is our only hope... for a big bonus! - Wall Street
Bush's 'faith' was the same political tool as Obama's 'hope'.

User avatar
Jeruselem
Minister
 
Posts: 2630
Founded: Antiquity
Democratic Socialists

Postby Jeruselem » Sat Mar 20, 2010 6:03 am

Naked News Jeruselem's Samantha Sallad with King Henry II of Jeruselem (aka Henry Dallas)

Sam: Hello, this is Sam Sallad for Naked News. I'm with our leader!
Henry: Good day to everyone.
Sam: You have a big announcement?
Henry: Yes, and it's nothing to do with our away loss to Jasiyun.

Sam: Yes, we've lost twice to them.
Henry: I have full confidence in our team still.
Sam: So what's the big news your majesty?
Henry: For all those single women out there, I won't be single soon.

Sam: You're getting married finally?
Henry: Yes, well Mum has been hassling me to find a wife.
Sam: She married quite young, relatively.
Henry: Yes, although not quite as young as Dazza Dallas marrying at 20.

Sam: It's good news! I'm a relative of the King folks.
Henry: All I can say is I am, but I can't say who for now.
Sam: Well, I know who is it but I'm not allowed to say folks.
Henry: I can't say too much for now, but it's happening after this World Cup.

Sam: It's so lovely, like that Chip Woods and that Kirsten race driver getting married.
Henry: Good luck to those two.
Sam: Why tell us on Naked News and not JGN.
Henry: I think this is being broadcast on JGN too.

Sam: I'm just a naked TV presenter, I have no idea.
Henry: I'm here because a lot of my female fan watch this news show.
Sam: And it's owned by the Dallases anyway.
Henry: It's all I have to say for now, but we'll be releasing more information later.

Sam: Why not a just a simple press release on JGN?
Henry: Because it's not a simple matter, I'm just an ordinary guy like all the others out there.
Sam: Why not have the wedding now?
Henry: A royal wedding is a big security nightmare, and not a good idea during a World Cup.

Sam: We've had some big weddings with our family.
Henry: Well, I guess the big one was Kate Dallas, Mum, marrying my father.
Sam: Dazza Dallas had a pretty big one too.
Henry: I'd love to be married at Dazza Dallas Stadium but it's not good for security.

Sam: Will it be live?
Henry: For sure, I want to share this with my people.
Sam: You're not one for attention.
Henry: True, but in this case ... I guess the people are invited to the party.

Sam: Maybe you can give an idea who this girl is?
Henry: It's not a Dallas or a Sallad
Sam: How many kids, 2? 5? 10?
Henry: Not 13 like Debbie Dallas, maybe like 3.

Sam: No time?
Henry: Yes, I don't spend a lot of time in the office really.
Sam: You're working too hard.
Henry: Dallas work ethic is hard work, work hard, play hard.

Sam: Yes, I think it's a good one.
Henry: Doing stuff in halves is counterproductive.
Sam: You sound like Princess Marie.
Henry: She is right, if you do it ... do it properly once.

Sam: Thank you for your time.
Henry: No problem Sam.
Jeruselem's sports achievements
http://www.nswiki.net/index.php?title=J ... hievements

Land of the Tiger Princesses

User avatar
Bostopia
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 353
Founded: Jun 27, 2004
Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby Bostopia » Sat Mar 20, 2010 6:39 am

The Emperor was busy in the kitchen of the Governor's Mansion in New Fenton Town, where he had gone "on holiday" some long months ago.

"Heeeeeeey mashed potato – AY!" he yelled at the top of his voice, while having his way with a pot of Jersey Royals with the aid of a potato masher (of the mashing variety, not the hand-grenade).

"Emperor, I'm pretty sure it's 'macarena', not 'mashed potato'," his aide, Haelwen, politely informed.

"Probably so, but you can't beat a good old sing-song from time to time, can you?"

"Well, no, but if it's not the correct word then there could be confusion. Remember the panic caused when the Michèle Nadeau accidentally sang 'we invite invadors to our nation' instead of 'we invite visitors to our nation'?"

"I do well indeed, I have it favourited on www.megogglebox.bp, a site most popular amongst people between the ages of 13 and 24, who can watch music videos, upload viral clips and otherwise laugh at all the stupid foreigners we have to share the World Cup with."

"Yes, well, if Madame Nadeau hadn't corrected herself, we would have been there in minutes, causing a nasty diplomatic incident, and another bill for some statues that had gone missing."

"How're we doing in the World Cup anyway, Haelwen?"

"No idea, haven't kept track of it for days..."
Are you a Mertagnian in Bostopia? If so, hand yourself in at the nearest Police Station now and you will be treated with the utmost care and attention.

NSGP: World Drivers Champion x 1 - NSGP 5 - F1 Constructors Champion x 1 NSGP 5
Cup of Harmony 26, 40: Champions
World Cup - Qualified x 20, SFs x 2.

User avatar
Ariddia
Diplomat
 
Posts: 628
Founded: Antiquity
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Ariddia » Sat Mar 20, 2010 7:37 am

Ariddians out of contention

A decisive 3-0 victory away in Balida yesterday may remain as one of the highlights of the Ariddian team’s impossible qualification campaign. After a disastrous start, the Rouge-et-Noirs picked themselves up and struggled up through the group rankings, one game at a time. From an unbroken string of defeats, they built of a record of five wins to ten losses, with thirty-two goals scored – not a bad turnaround.

But the most memorable match, of course, will be the one away in Starblaydia. On paper, it was the Ariddians’ most difficult game of all, and should have been a walkover for the home side.

As guests, the Rouge-et-Noirs performed the ulek first, before the Starblaydis –twice as numerous– responded with the Raiigar, to the delight of the crowd. The face-off between the two war dances is undoubtedly one of the great crowd-pleasers of the World Cup tournament.

From there, it only got better. Rick Eastton’s first shot on goal only narrowly missed its target in the twelth minute, proving the Ariddians to be a far more challenging opponent than expected for the world’s ninth best team. Starblaydis got off two shots on target, and Ariddians one –all three saved by the goalkeepers– before Makki Kaukonen scored the opener for the purple team, in the thirty-first minute.

Far from crumbling, however, the red and blacks responded with fired up energy. Having been fast starters but quick to tire in previous matches, perhaps they believed any goals they were to score would have to come soon.

And come they did. Joy Ngodzo scored the equaliser in the thirty-eight minute, catching the normally watertight Starblaydi defence off-guard and slipping the ball past Dacil Taniquentar. Then, in the forty-fifth minute, Kossi Touré weaved through the defence to slam the ball into the net, putting the Rouge-et-Noirs in the lead. The home crowd were left unexpectedly worried at half-time, while the coaches of both sides provided additional instructions to their teams.

Capitalising on any mistake made by the still inexperienced Ariddians, the Starblaydis were able to restore an equal scoreline when Nicole Maitland-Banks sent the ball into the net in the fifty-seventh minute. She got another shot off six minutes later, but this time a superb dive by goalie Patrick Michelet thwarted her attempt to reclaim the lead.

The Ariddians looked in distinctly better form than in previous games, displaying arguably their best defensive and attack playing since the beginning of the tournament. The uncertainty lingered, with Ariddian spectators clinging on to hopes of a draw –and perhaps more– while Starblaydis waited anxiously for the purples to pull ahead.

In the seventy-sixth minute, however, it was young Ariddian Lea Shaw who somehow outran Daeron Avathar, her burst of speed taking her up to Taniquentar – whereupon her shot sailed past him for Ariddia’s third goal of the match. The home crowd were stunned. Ariddians, watching back home, waited with nervous excitement as the last quarter of an hour ticked away.

In the eighty-first minute, when Ou Lo fell in the penalty area, the referee ruled that Onome Agu had committed an illicit tackle. Agu protested, and Lo backed him up; there had been no foul play. But after consulting with his assistants, the ref confirmed a penalty. Speaking for his team, Ariddian captain Fabien Levant refused it. There was some confusion, then the Ariddians were told to take the shot. Levant conferred briefly with his team mates, before advancing to take it. He gave Starblaydi goalkeeper Taniquentar a nod, before simply passing him the ball, instead of shooting it. Parts of the crowd applauded the act of sportsmanship. With a little more than eight minutes left on the clock, it meant that anything could still happen.

What happened was that the Ariddian defence held. In the final moments of the game, there was one last moment of tension as Starblaydia obtained a corner kick. The ball remained in play in the penalty area for a stressfully long while. Ngodzo tried to clear it, but Harvey intercepted, trying one quick, last shot on goal. In the thickness of the amassed players, miliencu intercepted and kicked it far upfield. The whistle was blown. The Ariddians –in an almost silent stadium– let their joy burst forth at last, hugging one another in unrestrained delight.

The final score: Starblaydia 2-3 Ariddia.

The moment of glory will endure, although it did not prevent the Rouge-et-Noirs from being eliminated from the Cup. With the pressure off, they are giving their best to the final few games, with coach Zé Sho rotating all players through the starting eleven. The end of the qualifiers is now a matter of pure enjoyment and personal challenge.


(OOC: Report on the Crosshill Cup match against the Holy Empire to come later, when I have time.)
Ariddia: land of islands, forests, grapefruit, and founder of the World Cup.

How Ariddia is governed now.

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Steroga
Attaché
 
Posts: 85
Founded: Mar 31, 2009
Ex-Nation

Postby Steroga » Sat Mar 20, 2010 9:02 am

Still in it

The Sterogan national team continues to remain alive for a qualification spot following a 2-0 victory over Iglesian Archipelago at Kumar Field. With the win, Steroga has improved to 8-5-3, and the 29 points put them in a good spot behind second place Milchama, who is 10-2-5, with 32 points and one more game played. The Warriors should still be seen as the more likely nation to go through to the World Cup but Coach Patel’s increased focus on defense has kept us in it. “There have been a lot of goals scored in this tournament, just look at Sarzonia laying ten on Arroza. I am more proud of our 19, as in the number of goals allowed. We are amongst the leaders of nations not in a top two spot right now in fewest goals allowed. I am really proud of that. Defense will always be how we win games.” Much earlier in qualifying the team was referred to as “stupid defensivists” by an Aguazul paper, something that Patel would consider a large compliment.

The question on the minds of Sterogans now is how much of a shot do we really have, and even though we are only going to look at Milchama right now the nations of Iglesian Archipelago and Arroza are still very much alive. Our final four games are: at Kazoo Peoples while Milchama is home to Arroza. Then we are at home to Toiletdonia while Milchama is off. Then we are at Teletropis while Milchama is in Iglesian Archipelago before things close out at home against Casari while Milchama is at home to The Kazoo Peoples. It’s a schedule that gives us hope and while we are the underdog, sometimes an underdog will win.

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Cassadaigua
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5253
Founded: Sep 19, 2008
Capitalist Paradise

Postby Cassadaigua » Sat Mar 20, 2010 10:09 am

Shannon’s Space

What a truly wonderful event Kirsten’s wedding was, and it will be something very memorable for me as well. I grew up with Kirsten, we were on the same school bus going to kindergarten. We were in the same detention after starting a food fight in the cafeteria when we were in fourth grade. When most people dream of having their wedding in a church, having it at a race track was a pretty cool thing too. I have never been in victory lane of any racetrack before, so that alone was pretty cool. There are a lot of parallels that one came make to a couple getting married as a soccer team going through qualification. For instance, every couple will have the bumps in the road, and not everything will be wonderful. How you handle adversity is what will keep you strong and only making you stronger. They will adhere to #1 rule of Cassadagan arguing if you are a couple: stick to the topic at hand, and listen (don’t just hear) to what the other person is saying. Kirsten and Chip will make a wonderful couple, and any time they may argue, they are both mature enough to work things out. The same is true for a World Cup qualification. There are going to be draws and losses which disappoint you, they will make you feel like you squandered a lot. The key, is you response to them, and I felt that we had a top notch response to the very disappointing draw to Manswell in Sibirsky last night. We’re not going to sit here and talk about how we have too many draws, because they are better then losses. We are still in a top two position, and still in pretty good shape, but if we lost to Sibirsky then all that would come shattering down on us.

Some silly people in the media thought that we might be distracted by the wedding ceremony between these two games, and I am glad we put all those thoughts to bed quickly. Yes, we had fun at the wedding reception, but we are all responsible adults here, or in the case of a couple teenagers on our team who are not yet adults, they are overseen by adults so they are not going to be allowed to slack off. Seriously, they are well behaved so I don’t want to give the impression that we need to babysit them. We played well from the get-go, with Hannah Barton scoring in the 9th minute, and then for the longest time it was up to our defensive ability as they seemed to play desperate for a little while. Valerie (McCann) scored a nice counter attack goal in the 33rd minute which went a long way in shifting the momentum. In the second half, we let them get confident again after a 55th minute score, but contained their attacks well before Stephanie Reeves finished them off in 80th. The game ends 3-1, and we improve to 9-6-1, leading Sibirsky by four points. We return home to play Al-Mumtaz next!
NS Sports’ only World Cup, World Bowl, World Cup of Hockey, World Baseball Classic and International Basketball Championships winner!

(Motorsports, college basketball, and volleyball, too)


Specific Titles: World Cup 50, 51; WBC 14, 16, 19, 50 & 58; WB 8, 22, & 40; WCOH 11 & 39; IBC 13.
Also: CR 40 & 43; CoH 39; Swamp Soccer 4, RTC WC 18 & 19; WVE 6; NSCAA 3, 5 & 9; NSSCRA 7
Runner Up: CoH 40, CR 37, 38 & 41; WB 21, WcoH 8, IBC 12, WBC 13, 15, 47 & 48, DBC 21.
WC Qualified for: 45, 46, 49-61, 67, 79 (DNP WC 69-77), 81-90, 92.
XIII Summer Olympiad: 2nd Most Medals
Hosted: WC 54, 67, 84 & 88; CoH 57 & 73, BoF 47, CR 30, WB 16, WBC 18, 26, 40, 45 & 50, NSCAA, NSCH 1; WLC 7, 30 & 33.

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Bears Armed
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 21479
Founded: Jun 01, 2006
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Bears Armed » Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:38 pm

"What do you mean, 'You stopped at 1-0 because you felt sorry for them'?!?" Marra SunDaughter enquired in a somewhat exasperated tone.

"What I just said," replied Urrsa SunBlesséd. "Look, they've already been eliminated from all hope of qualifying for the Cup, their very homeland has ceased to exist, and they don't even know where they're going to go when this series of matches ends... Hammering them with the sort of score that we could have gained pretty easily just seemed to too many of us to be adding insult to injury... And it's not as though we couldn't have come back and taken the lead again pretty easily if they had equalised, is it? C'mon, Marra, have a liver..."

"Wurrarh, I suppose so,"
Marra grumbled, "But I'm telling you -- and the rest of the girls, too, of course -- not to make a habit of such 'generosity', hokay? We can't be eight-eighths certain of qualifying, yet, ourselves, and we definitely don't need any upsets because you lot were going soft on your opponents!"

"Hokay, and I'll tell the others. Heyyah, what are
you doing during our 'bye' week? I'm taking a bunch of schoolcubs from my sept to StraightFord-on-SwanWater, to see the latest revival of Shakes-Bears's play 'A Comedy of Terrors'..."

"I'm meeting up with
Arri Thunder and his wife, and some of their friends from outside the team, we're going to watch the HoneySuckle League's "Special Plate" match and then go to Mother Goose's for a fancy meal; it's his wife's birth-feast on thatTiger's-Day."

"That smells like fun! Oh hwell, must run!"
Last edited by Bears Armed on Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
The Confrederated Clans (and other Confrederated Bodys) of the Free Bears of Bears Armed
(includes The Ursine NorthLands) Demonym = Bear[s]; adjective = ‘Urrsish’.
Population = just under 20 million. Economy = only Thriving. Average Life expectancy = c.60 years. If the nation is classified as 'Anarchy' there still is a [strictly limited] national government... and those aren't "biker gangs", they're traditional cross-Clan 'Warrior Societies', generally respected rather than feared.
Author of some GA Resolutions, via Bears Armed Mission; subject of an SC resolution.
Factbook. We have more than 70 MAPS. Visitors' Guide.
The IDU's WA Drafting Room is open to help you.
Author of issues #429, 712, 729, 934, 1120, 1152, 1474, 1521.

User avatar
Schiavonia
Diplomat
 
Posts: 591
Founded: Sep 26, 2005
Ex-Nation

Postby Schiavonia » Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:50 pm

Carlos Cueto turned the RP machine on. He wanted to do all he could to help his team along, although at the age of... actually, he can't remember, it's been so long, but anyway. He turned on the RP machine, and out came this...

THE SCHIAVONE RP MACHINE'S ALL TIME WORLD CUP ELEVEN

This RP machine, currently under the ownership of the nation of Schiavonia and the Schiavonia Football Federation, has seen a lot of things down the years. Here are the eleven it has chosen as having had the biggest influence on the World Cup. Now, these are not necessarily the best players - or even players - but hell, they've been picked anyway.

Gil Lemson (Commentator, Lemmitania)
Gil is dead, Gil will rise, Gil will collect his endorsement cheque. Or so the song went. Probably part of the greatest commentary team there ever was, there aren't many around who remember any Lemmitanian commentaries. Mainly because it was all at least 150 years ago and all the people around then are now dead. Possibly. If you think that the people in Candelaria and Marquez go on a bit, you should have heard these guys!

Carlos Cueto (Defender, Schiavonia)
He brought back a nation, was a trailblazer for international players in Cafundéu and is my owner. So I'm biased.

Margaret (Prophetic type figure, Snub Nose 38)
Despite Snub Nose 38 not being about for about a century, Margaret is still a name that goes hand in hand with the fortunes of many nations around the world, even those that have no recollection of the original tales of her and the sacrificing of rubber chickens. Quite an astonishing feat.

Melmond Fried Dice (Scorination figure, Melmond)
Once, long ago, there was a Cup of Harmony in Melmond where the results were influenced by a collection of mysterious dice. A quite bizarre tale ensued. This was the final outcome. Or something.

Juan Tzimisces (Midfielder, The Holy Empire)
Someone who is actually old enough to remember everything. Ever. That's the Dreamed Realm for you...

Marc J. Floren (Forward, Milchama)
A quite bizarre character who just keeps coming back. And back. And back. Oh, and just when you thought you'd seen the back of him, look who it is. Floren again.

Urk (Forward, Giant Zucchini)
Probably the greatest player in the first century of the World Cup, with the advantage of being an ageless sentient vegetable for longevity. Such that this legendary scorer ended up playing for Druida and The Holy Empire. Will probably make another comeback at some point. Maybe.

Alan Belmore (Goalscorer, The Belmore Family)
Belmore scored a record 1093 goals in a career for a nation where nobody else ever scored a goal. Ever. A truly remarkable figure. Literaly unbelievable!

Simeone di Bradini (Forward, Starblaydia)
A player so legendary that he's got his own cup named after him. Won loads of stuff and everyone knows who he is. A truly remarkable figure.

An egg (Utility player, NEWI Cefn Druids)
Most famous for one appearance in a training match during the third Cup of Harmony, the egg overcame a Druidish team that had failed to win a game through all of the preceding qualifying campaign and Cup of Harmony. Some of the egg's relatives took part in World Cup 50 for the nation it embarrased over 150 years ago.

Jeremy Jaffacake (Journalistic type figure, Audioslavia)
And that's our list. G'night bitches!

User avatar
The Ursine Northlands
Attaché
 
Posts: 75
Founded: May 23, 2009
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby The Ursine Northlands » Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:55 pm

Svengorra Nerrik's-darthrurr, the manager of the 'NorthBears', staretd incredulously at the assembled members of the Northlands Soccer Association's governing comnitee.

"Fired?" she growled, "Fired?!?"

"You promised that our team would qualify to compete in the actual World Cup, this time around, and you haven't delivered on that promise... or on all of the extra funds that we poured into your plans because of it"
retorted their chairbear, Narra o ShipBear (the chairbear of leading club 'NorthPort Navigators'), and her colleagues nodded in collective agreement.

"Merrchants: Urrgah!" the beleaguered Sevngorra snorted. "Hwell, in that case I call 'holmgang'!"

"Hwat? You can't do that!"

"I can, and I will: Check my contract, it specifies that disputes are to be settled under the laws of my own Clan -- 'Thuleann' -- and those say that grievances -- by either party to them -- can be settled in that way. Now, who will face me on the isle? Will it be you, 'madame chairbear', or will you take the coward's path and name a champion to take your place there... if you can find one?



(OOC note: 'Holmgang' = an old Norse custom... Two people who have a grievance with each other cross over to a small island [or 'holm'], with their choice of melee weapons, but only one of them returns...)
This is the northern section of Bears Armed, and enjoys a high level of autonomy.

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