World Cup 73 - RPing Thread

[Electrum]

Centralis Herald - Sports Section - Kate McNamara

Breaking: Electrum-New Gelderland bid successful

It was jubilant cheers across the nation from Agri to Prescott, Port Grenville to Hamilton and Fairleigh to Centralis as the Olympic Council voted 16-2 to accept their bid for the tenth edition of the Summer Olympics. As soon as the Republican representative announced the results, fireworks went across the entire nation as what seemed like years of hard work paid off for the bidding team. The bidding team, chaired by Gelder Liam Pierce were seen smiling, shaking hands and hugging each other at the Olympic Council meeting. Also present at the meeting were Jonathan Mercer (NGOC President) and Sally Lines (EOC President).

In a short statement to the press, Sally Lines said that, "It's definitely an honour and a privilege to be able to host this event. We never fathomed that we could make such an ambitious, audacious bid like this, but our technical demonstration I think put us over the line." Prime Minister Nick Wood, in a separate press conference all the way in Electrum also said that, "We will be working with the Match Integrity Unit and the Doping Testing Authority to ensure that no funny business will be in play in these Olympics. We want these Olympics to be fair and only showcase the best sporting talent the multiverse has to offer -- cheating is just not going to cut it. I have also immediately arranged the Minister for Sports, the Arts and Culture to have the additional portfolio responsibility of the 'Olympics'."

A sign of Terranean solidarity was also shown with the Euran representatives already in talks with Electrumite representatives on how they could help better the games. Leaked discussion points revealed that security, media and transportation were all on the agenda with talks of passing on some of those responsibility onto the Eurans. As is well-known and infamous throughout the multiverse, Electrum has strict anti-gun laws, and has a bare-bones military, if it can be called that. It has historically relied on trade, negotiation and treaties to get bye, but with the threat of terrorism and violence, which was seen to some extent in the last Olympic Games, the EOC does not want to take any chances. One of the proposals is that Eura will provide satellites to help with the transmission of all sports to a global audience, and that Eura will provide wholesale security staff for the games. Electrumites are known for their obsession with security, and so the Eurans could be seen swarming the venues and athletes looking for people who are troublesome.

The bid is seen as providing a great cost-effective way to drum up tourism and commerce into Electrum. It is expected to bring much commerce and attention from the global community into the two Rushmori nations Electrum and New Gelderland, especially in the areas of air travel (possibly via Eura as well), international commerce and international relations. For Electrum, only small costs will be incurred due to the fact that most of the venues were already built. The only new things that need to be built are a beach volleyball venue at Newton Beach, upgraded sailing facilities at Portsmouth and a media centre/athletes village at the Centralis Sporting Precinct. Other sports will be held in pre-existing venues, or venues newly built in the Multiverse Games, such as the Multi-Purpose Venue which will play host to volleyball and the Marise Symons Velodrome which will host the track cycling events (in the Multiverse Games it was used for roller sports).

Overall, this is a historic event for Electrum. It is one of a few nations ever to host an Olympic Games, and will always be remembered as an integral part of sporting history. We should be honoured at the fact that the Olympic Council has chosen both our nations to co-host the Olympics, and we should look forward to the entire multiverse coming to our borders -- let's welcome them with open arms.

[Witty Penguins]

WC QUALIFIERS: A.U.W.P. 0-2 Saintland

22 October 2015

---

UNITIA CITY - All good things must come to an end. Saintland have quite unceremoniously ended the Penguin win streak with a 2-0 win against the home team at Unitia City Stadium. After wins against Maklohi Vai and Cuboneland, the Penguins had been riding on a large confidence boost, and, playing the match at home, also had the support of an estatic fan-base. However Saintland, ranked 14th in the world, had the chemistry and skill that would ulimately lead them to victory. But despite the loss, the Penguins receive consolidation in the fact that they still maintain 4th place within their group, only 2 places away from the lucrative playoff spot.

The defenders played hard and aggressively against the Saintland front, but Oliver Johnson had more than his fair share of work during the 90 minutes. In the 33rd minute, it was Oliver vs. Olivia as Olivia Florius broke through and made a fast shot for goal. Johnson got a touch on the ball as it approached the mid right of the goal, but it wasn't enough as the ball drifted over the line, allowing Saintland to draw first blood. The barrage was held off until the 74th minute, when Florius again added a goal to the score. Gunther had few attempts at goal, which were on target, but Seius fought well to retain a clean sheet. The fight delivered by the Penguins would in the end, not be enough, with the visitors leaving with a 2-0 win.

So far in the Qualifiers, Witty Penguins has won a total of 2 matches, drawn 2, and lost a further 2 matches. This gives them a total of 8 points. To perhaps the comfort of supporters, the Penguins are still 4th in Group 18. New Gelderland sit below in 5th with 5 points, having a record of 1-2-3. Maklohi Vai are close in 6th, with 4 points from 1 victory and 1 draw. 7th placed Cuboneland have drawn a single match, from which they have received their single point. Saintland continue to dominate the Group, adding their recent win to their previous 4 victories. United States of Devonta and Abanhfleft follow reasonably close behind. At the current stage, Saintland will automatically qualify for the World Cup, whilst Devonta will go into the playoff to fight for a spot in the main tournament. Witty Penguins are a fair distance away from the qualifying spots, but the team still has six matches to catch up with the teams in front. The team has demonstrated potential to fight those teams - they were successful in holding Devonta to a nil-all draw earlier in the Qualifiers. But before the Penguins face those teams, they will be up against New Gelderland tomorrow, for the second time this tournament. The record drifts in favour of the Penguins - a win and a draw against the Gelderlish side in their previous 2 matches. But history and statistics don't always seem to matter in this Group; Maklohi Vai, ranked 92nd, is falling behind teams that are ranked in the 100's and 200's. Many fans will be flocking to a sold-out Unitia City Stadium to see the third installment of what NG manager David Ross is now describing as a 'rivalry' between the two teams. The match will be broadcast live on ChannelU and Polaris One at 10am Unitia Time.

In the post-match conference of the Saintland match, many journalists were curious to ask about Richard Peak's thoughts about the immenent New Gelderland match in Unitia City.

"Well, we are hoping to get a victory as much as the New Gelderland team are. I think it will be a close match, as it has been in our previous affairs with them. As for whether we'll win or not, I don't like to make a prediction. But it's certainly possible to grab a second victory - we have the capability to do so. It's just a matter that will be decided on the day."

Meanwhile in Penguinish football, the Gentoo Football League was recently announced as part of the continuing effort of the Penguinish Football Federation to expand the sport within the nation. The league plans to draw the top teams from state and regional leagues, with FC Unitia announced as the first team to join. Over the coming weeks other teams are expected to be announced. Air Arctica was also announced as the naming rights sponsor of the league.

[Banguela]

The last whistle echoed through the stadium in a slightly matt sound, bouncing on the cement walls of this modern, yet cosy arena. Exhausted by the past hour and a half, I planted myself on the grass and finally got the chance to get a good, full look of the architecture, something I had a fond interest for. Marvellous work, if you ask me. And disaster-proof as well, judging at how fast and orderly the disillusioned fans of the Sea Lions could leave through the large and safe halls. Truly a pearl at the field of sporting arch…

My daydreams got interrupted by teammates who could not suppress their urge to high-five me, to which I responded half-heartedly. It seemed a bit hypocrite to me that they would act as best mates now as we generally tended to keep a strictly professional relationship. Some even attempted to hug me, ugh. Do you ever, at work, after a meeting with satisfying results start to randomly embrace the managers? Or, if you walk through a spotless stairway and spot the cleaning lady, run up to her and start shouting nonsense in her ear?

Sweating, feeling a bit dirty, I would have preferred getting a hot shower right away but Flavio Kanté pushed me towards the furthest corner of the stadium. I shuffled behind him, not even willing to fake enthusiasm. So instead of rewarding my body for a tough game, I got to shout meaningless phrases to a bunch of moronic fans. Apart from spending an amount of Longa’s with which a regular family could survive more than a month for something that was as least as visible on television, they acted as if they had done something that allowed to be proud of themselves. ‘Sitting there’ did not suffice for me.

Luckily, Flavio had enough sense to ignore their cries to hand me the megaphone and handled that part of the ‘fun’ himself. When the mob eventually was satisfied, I finally could conjure a grin on my face as I walked to the tunnel, with upbeat steps and dreaming about the warm water th… Joao Ferreira grabbing hold of my arm. For half a second, I feared he would do one of those shameful ‘manager-hugs’, just long enough for photographers to get a good angle for tomorrow’s newspapers, but he showed himself less of a media whore than usual.

”Hey, the guys from the television asked for a player, it’s your turn, you deserve it.”

Not that much less. Wait, what? I was too baffled to resist as I was contemplating a hidden sneer in all this. Why would someone deserve such a thing unless it was how rowdy soldiers deserve a term in the gulag? But it did not help me any further as I stood there with a young lad carrying a gigantic microphone, claiming we must wait for the signal. Why the ‘we’ remained unclear to me and I could not exactly muster the ‘must’ either. One by one, my teammates passed us as my eyes silently screamed for help, something which only instigated a big grin on their faces. The bastards.

”We’re about to go in! Get ready!” Acne Face yelled.
”For God’s sake, I’m not deaf!” was my subsequent reply.

It did cause me, family told me afterwards, to appear in pubs and living rooms across the nation with an angered face and screaming the word ‘deaf’ like a maniac. How elegant. But, then again, it hopefully inspired them from not pulling that stunt with me again the next time.

”Luis Cangé, this must be a marvellous journey to Port Christopher to you!” Acne Face struggled with the eternal quest for a sentence between an exclamation and a question, a journalistic way of giving both problem and solution at once.

I begged to differ. To be honest, saying that Port Christopher had always been on my top list of future travel destinations would be a lie but in the build-up to the game, I had discovered that the semi-city-state carried an interesting history as port city. No wonder that in the build-up to the game, I wanted to see a bit more of it, at least more than in Legalese and Electrum where we hadn’t been outside of the hotel. But I first had to beg and plea with the technical staff and when those finally gave in, it was a struggle to find a companion. What do you want of a group of men of which most were close to illiterate, with interests that hardly exceeded football, cars and women? Ok, a Figuerinho, Helder Barbosa or Landa Landa might pick up a book if the stars stood right but even they couldn’t see the potential of a city walk. I only got three quarters of an hour for a bit of a tour.

”Well,” I responded, ”I would have liked to see more of it.”
”Indeed,” the reporter mangled my answer, ”with such a beautiful start, three victories out of six, we all want to see more of this. And that supported by such amazing fans!”

Again, he stuck his microphone between my nostrils, seemingly unaware of the fact that he had not asked me a question. The walk had been a disaster. I hardly had reached the quay when a bunch of drunken people clad in red-and-black insisted on going on pictures with me, shaking hands and even exchanging hugs as if we were close relatives. In the end, I was honestly happy to head back to the hotel and escape the mad house out there.

”They were awful,” I dryly replied.
A bit flabbergasted by my response, he returned to the match, ”An amazing goal, Luis, can you guide us through it?”

Amazing, schmamazing. I had scored much classier goals in my career, even one already this season. It had been a mediocre corner kick from Ze Mata, already exhausted from a difficult first seventy minutes of the game in which the home team held slight superiority but failed to cash in on it. His cross should have been targeted a bit behind the penalty point, to the second zone where Jacinto Freite and me should pop up while Djalma Yaba made the running action. At least, that was the plan. The leather ended up somewhere near the crescent where a surprised Ze Vidigal, waiting for a chance for a shot just let it bounce off his head towards the second post. Skill or luck, yours to decide. But it was luck. Either way, it came in ideal for me and all I had to do was stretch my neck and put my head against it. So I said,

”It was lucky. All I had to do was stretch my neck and put my head against it.”
[i]”Still,” Acne Face eagerly clamped on to his ignore tactics, ”a very important goal. We catch from the other fields that Acronius and Lymantatia drew, whilst Legalese took the expected victory. That puts us in third in the group, only three points shy of the play-off spot. Electrum seems settled for the group victory, but do we still stand a shot to qualify?”

Look, at the educational field, I’m a major fan of a positive approach. It is scientifically proven that giving positive stimuli makes it easier for the one under your guidance to pick up new things. So, well, congratulations, he finally asked an actual question. But it was such a silly, stupid question. We would have to overcome a three-point gap on an unbeaten Acronius, fend off a Legalese that after a dreary start seemed to have found the right track and in the meanwhile deal with Lymantatia and this Port Christopher that, despite the loss, certainly came across stronger to the neutral observer.

”No.”
”Oh.”

Finally, fi-na-lly, the guy started to see the uselessness of his efforts and released both of us from what must have been one of the lesser television moments of the evening.

”Thank you for your time, Luis Cangé, and once again congratulations on scoring the decisive goal which brought us three very important points with an eye to the further qualification campaign. Third at the halfway point, an unexpected success and we can only hope that Os Gnus continue this form!”

By the time of his last words, I was already in soap and finally having a joyful moment.

[Schottia]

Their Lives

Lunton's Number One?

#--: J. Murray, Assistant Manager

There was an eruption of macho goading and high-fiving as Lunton's skip drew in for another shot. The match was now a forgone conclusion, with a win across all three rinks. Granton West had never really stood much of a chance, and although their bowlers were competent enough, they just lacked the killer instinct of the home side. In communities all over Schottia, Lawn Bowls was a popular sport. It managed to gracefully straddle being a something to do while drinking outside, with being a highly competitive precision sport. In a great many countries around the region, it was seen as something of an old man's game, something you took up later in life. While in truth it was popular with the retired generation, in Schottia it had an ardent following, attracting players of all shapes and sizes, and at a competitive level certainly, it had its fair share of young people.

John Murray accepted a robust handshake from his teammate, as he finished jogging up the pitch after his last bowl. The younger players in his rink were jumping around sensing another big score. John on the other hand was unmoved by this, the concentration etched on his face was resolute in spite of the commotion. He held up a hand asking for calm, he was determined to get the job done, and every shot counted. This was how he spent his Friday nights. Even when he was still playing football professionally, he opted to come here rather than staying at home and resting up before the match. Like his father and grandfather before him he was a steadfast member of Lunton Bowling Club. Despite being Jane Gullie's right hand man in the Schottia team, and at The Warriors previously, for John Murray, the Cities and Counties League was as good as it got.

'Good shot young man!' Shouted an elderly gentle man, who was watching proceedings from a plastic garden chair at the edge of the clubhouse. Had the man not been in his nineties, the idea of calling John a young man would have been ridiculous. On evenings like this dozens of members would line the edge of the green outside, sitting in relative silence, taking in the sceptical.

'Cheers Billy.' Said John with a bit of a swagger, stepping up onto the banking and taking a drink from his pint glass. Drinking by the side of the green was not strictly in the rules, but it didn't deter many of the players. Sometime it could take the club's bar-manager the best part of an hour to collect in all of the empties at the end of a match, as the players left them dotted all round the perimeter of the green. John himself could easily get through four pints of lager during a two-hour game. Billy Fairly was one of those characters, whom you could depend on to always be there. He had given up bowling a few years ago now, but he was still in it for the drinking. Old age might have effected his ability to play, but luckily his drinking arm was still working; no doubt seventy years of training had strengthened the muscles to super human levels. Whether you came down on your afternoon off for a practice by yourself, or whether you were the last one to leave at quarter past one on a Saturday night, you could bet your house that William "Billy" Fairly would be there.

Since John had joined Gullie in the Schottia set-up he had had a lot more time on his hands, and he was pouring it back into his bowling. It wasn't that being the assistant manager of the national team was easier, in many ways the pressures made the whole thing a tense experience. Time was structured differently however, and rather than being on the training pitch every day, Gullie and he would be scouting matches, or discussing the merits of this player or that. The upcoming World Cup qualifiers would be the making of them in the fans eyes. John knew how it worked; one slip and you were gone. The Schottic fans wouldn't give them too many chances, and if they couldn't make the grade, they would be out on their backsides.

The late summer evenings down at the clubhouse were something special. Built in a secluded part of the town, just behind the allotments, meant that it was quiet even for the little town of Lunton. It had been where John had grown up, and since he had been old enough to stand, you could have found him down here with a bottle of juice in his hand, watching his father and grandfather play. It was a place of comfort and familiarity. It was somewhere that had changed little in all the years he had been attending, and as a result, for John Murray time stood still. People came and went, but the place was always the same, and his place of honour among the members was never at stake. Being a former professional footballer, there were never a shortage of people queuing up to by him drinks, and plenty of young people hanging on his every word. For a man who had been a pretty average player, and spent his entire coaching career as a number two, John enjoyed his moment in the spotlight immensely, although he would never have admitted it.

He was the authority on all football issues, no matter what it was his word was final. "What do you think of this player John?" or "So who's going to win the league this year?" These were the questions he loved to hear; it gave him a chance to sit back, fold his arms, and cast judgment. For a man constantly on the sidelines, this was his chance in to shine.

The sun was beginning to go down over the top of the trees, but there was still a warmth in the early evening sky. This was the time of night that John liked best, as the slight dewy dampness gathered round the grass like the finest of mists, cool and refreshing after a hot summer day. It was somehow invigorating, this short window within the evening day when evening transitioned into night. It was the point when John got to march of the green triumphant, and walk past the smattering of adoring fans.

After finishing the rest of his pint in three huge glugs, he marked the shot on his scorecard and hopped back onto the green with a confident stride. 'Right come on lads, let’s have a big finish here on the last end.' He was calm, collected, yet fired up; more so than he had ever been as a footballer.

'Oi! Tommy!' Shouted Billy, in the direction of a younger man a few seats down. 'Can ye not see that John has finished his pint?' Tommy looked slightly taken aback at the intervention, but he jumped to alert nonetheless. 'Get off yer ass and go buy him another one!' Like a dutiful foot soldier, he scampered off down the path and back to the bar to bring John the requested beverage.

He didn't react, but the conversation John Murray smiled to himself. There was something rather nice about being appreciated.

[Armeia]

It had taken a lot of convincing to get Vance LaFlame to return to football. Well, he had wanted to return to football. But not with Lionesses. The club that his daughter had played for, had died for, it didn't bring back good memories. But Darian Brassington, the new owner of the new team that would be joining WD1, a revival of the first Lionesses team that had folded with the flight 414 crash, was quite persuasive, and he had done what many thought was impossible: convinced Vance LaFlame to come to Lionesses, as the new GM and Director of Football Operations of the 'new' team.

That was why everyone was gathered at the Red Leaf Hotel in downtown Redtown, gathered in a large press conference room. That was why Vance was standing at the podium, about to deliver a speech about the revival of the club. It was strange how nervous he was, considering how much of a cold blooded clutch player he had been during his playing career. He was the all time leading scorer for the Forge Rangers, before they folded, and then later in his career when he signed for Atlas, he became the leading scorer in the Loftus Metro Area Derby. He scored so much because he never lost his composure, but right now it was getting harder and harder to keep up his composed demeanor, when he knew that the whole country would be watching.

"I'm happy to announce that rumors of our demise have been greatly exaggerated," he started, going with an opening line he had thought of before. "And we won't be merging with Gunnery FC... We'll be merging with the new ownership group from the now defunct Kobenhaven FC. The deal was agreed upon earlier this week, and we're already getting everything moved into Redtown for the start of the season. While technically we are an expansion team, this is not a new club in the traditional sense. We will retain all the history and accomplishments of Lionesses FC, and take over Kobenhaven's roster along with some players from Gunnery. We'll be rebranding, too, and today we're unveiling the new kits and logos."

A video board behind Vance lit up, displaying the new logos. As this happened, Lionesses winger Katarina Dana Bonner came out from backstage wearing the new kit. It was all white, with black accents, and neon green socks, more tight fitting than previous kits and in the style of the all white kits worn by Racing Club Lions before their 1999 rebrand to blue. There was an unexpected guest, also, central midfielder Ingrid van Voerdesaan, the 21 year old playmaker from the Northeastern Fem-Dragons. She was modeling the third kit, which was all black with cyan blue hoops near the bottom of the sleeves.

"Along with the rebranding, I'm happy to say that we have some new players," continued Vance. "We've signed Ingrid here to a four year contract, and we've also signed Tris Rijker from Gunnery and we gained the exclusive rights to Bianka Schraeder's contract once she leaves AC Kawajiri. There's one more signing we have to announce... You all know her because she scored a brace in the last minutes to give us a win over Acronius in the Emperor's Cup semis... I'm proud to announce that we've signed my niece, Tess Byquist, on a one year contract."

The room cheered, everyone knowing that Tess, although she was young, would be one of the faces of the team. Marketing was important in football, especially in a league that fielded most of the national team stars, and Tess was a recognizable name because of her mother's long career with Royals FC and her victories with the Southern Armeia national team. Four straight Regions Cup titles was her prized accomplishment, and everyone was hoping for her daughter to follow in her footsteps. Tess's father, Carter Leroux, was a popular player too, the journeyman midfielder winning hearts with his off the field sense of style and humor, even if his career had been a mediocre one. And he was a Leroux, which automatically made his fame go up. The Leroux family dominated Armeian sports, especially when it came to management.

"We're also working on bringing in some other talents, including two from abroad... Our last signings to announce are Zsofia Dolan, from Abahnfleft, who we acquired for a fee of 1.5 million, and Aleixis Villa, who's signing on with us as a free agent from the Federated Districts," Vance said. "In the coming weeks we'll announce our full roster, for now these new signings should have us ready to go for the start of the season in terms of the midfield and the attack."

Yes, even though they would lose everything, they wouldn't stay down for long. Redtown got back up, always, and these new players would help them with the impossible dream, returning to Women's Division 1 stronger and even better than before. It seemed impossible, but it was what every staff member, player, and executive was working towards, and they were on the right track to succeed.

[Semarland]

73 – SEMARLAND’S QUALIFYING CAMPAIGN SO FAR

Okay, so, in short, it hasn’t been that great. A few strong wins against lower ranked teams may look nice on paper with all the big fancy goal differences but performance wise, we should be doing better, or at least trying to do better, at teams around our level. We’ve been sloppy against Bears Armed and Quakmybush, the two seeds below us, and don’t even start on the way we performed against Polar Islandsates. Yes, we did not expect to beat them 8-0 and no, we don’t think we’re better than them or even on their level, but what we did expect was a little fight. Ahem, Matur Eiriksson. The usually combative left-back decided to be more, uh, comative (is that even a word) and despite the Polarians not even having any actual wingers in their entire squad, they dominated our left hand side like Semars dominate mixtapes. Heh.

Anyway, so:

Bears Armed 1-0 Semarland
I’m really not too happy to talk about this. They’re a very good side, are Bears Armed, but statistically, ranked thirty places lower than us. We looked sloppy, save for Marcel Labonne (who I really think’s going to be our next best player) and maybe Jakob Lunds but our attacking play was dreadful. I love Marc Lygaard with all my heart but I really think it would be best for him to retire from international football at the end of this World Cup. Cup of Harmony at the latest. He still kills it in the Premarligaen and I’m sure he will in LigAnaia, but international football he doesn’t look as cut out as he was a few years ago. Especially with people like Jakob Lindesfarne, Isaac Nketiah and Serge Mavididi all impressing, I assume Lygaard will probably be rested a little bit for the second half, allowing Nketiah and Mavididi to try and cement starting places for the Cup of Harmony, which, at the rate we’re performing, is our most realistic target. Apparently, I heard in the SFA offices they were looking at bringing Andre Smith-Brown to the senior fold. He’s currently uncapped, but he’s in his mid-twenties so it’s not necessarily too late. He was amazing for FC Jansberg until his release at the end of his first professional deal (why they never gave him an extension I’ll never know) but he’s definitely lit up the 2Ligaen with Sporting Solsholm. Marcssen and Huxley did the same. Why can’t he?
Semarland: Marco Valbuena, Matur Eiriksson (Rasmus Norregaard 65), Jakob Lunds, Soren Pedersen, Johan Huxley, Abel Nkutu, Demba Cisse, Marcel Labonne, Diego Snow (Tipio Runen 67), Marc Lygaard (Yannick Simeone 80), Jakob Lindesfarne

Semarland 1-0 Estelar
Was it worse than the performance against Bears Armed? I’ll let you decide. We improved marginally in attack. Lygaard looked a little sharper and Cisse was back to his best with his mazy runs, stepovers and pinpoint passing, but it still felt like something was missing. Was it the grit in midfield of Labonne? The subtle flamboyantness of Strand? (In case you were wondering, Strand should be back for the first matchday back. Fucking injuries.) Or the charisma of Eiriksson? It turned out to be all of them as Labonne and Eiriksson were dropped for some reason, being replaced by Norregaard (no regard for that decision. Ha) and Lasse Pedersen. Pedersen impressed me with his passing and the occasional fancy move, but sadly nothing much else really. His free kick that just skimmed the Estelar goalkeeper’s bar was nice though, and the midfield trio of him, Tunde and Cisse was actually quite smooth working. Lygaard, Lindesfarne and Simeone was quite nice to watch, although I think all three were probably suited for the centralmost role, but whatever. So are Nketiah and Mavididi. But then again, I think out of the wingers, Saint Etienne and Runen would be better on the wide attacking roles of 4-3-3 than Nkutu and Snow.
Semarland: Blaise N’Zonzi, Rasmus Norregaard, Jakob Lunds, Martell Chalobah (Soren Pedersen 79), Johan Huxley, Lasse Pedersen, Tunji Tunde, Demba Cisse (Diego Snow 84), Marc Lygaard, Jakob Lindesfarne, Yannick Simeone (Tipio Runen 80)
Goal: Lindesfarne 59’

Polar Islandstates 6-0 Semarland
Yeah I’ve spoken about this. We really needed more grit. I would’ve personally swapped Pedersen, Huxley and Tunde for Chalobah, Oseni, and Labonne. Not that Tunde didn’t impress me of course, I think he’s gonna really do well over at SK. Huxley…I guess he needs time to develop. Malsen needed to do that too. Just think back then the right-back rotation around the time Malsen made his debut was quite regular. Of course, we haven’t had to deal with that considering Malsen was first choice for around twelve years, but Huxley will need time to do what Malsen did as of course, he was primarily a 2Ligaen player before his move to Bleak Rock. Of course, the average foreign fan would wonder why we’re selecting former 2Ligaen players who now play for a fishing team in minor Valhalla for the World Cup, the answer to that is risks. We wouldn’t have Tunde without risks. There was an article in Sporstat the other day about Krsthaven’s winning team of the 2011 U18 Cup. Their manager put Marcel Labonne, who was an U16 with hardly any prior U18 experience at the time, in the starting lineup. Krsthaven won which ultimately gave Labonne is big break, and that’s probably the main reason why he’s here now.
Semarland: Marco Valbuena, Matur Eiriksson, Jakob Lunds, Soren Pedersen, Johan Huxley (Nathaniel Oseni 82), Abel Nkutu, Tunji Tunde, Demba Cisse, Diego Snow, Marc Lygaard (Isaac Nketiah 70), Jakob Lindesfarne (Serge Mavididi)

Semarland 5-3 Estenia
Tensions between Semarland and Estenia were as great on the football field as sadly it is off the field, but fortunately we moved a step closer to putting that to rest. We saw the debuts of the one and only, Dequane Saint Etienne, and highly rated central midfielder Tunji Adebayo, who both really impressed me. Adebeyo was combative in the middle of the park, linking up with Cisse well. Adebayo’s older brother, Pamilekunayo, or Kunayo or even Pascal for short is also quite highly rated but yet to earn a cap for the senior side. Moving onto Saint Etienne, it really was astunning debut from the 17 year old who slinked past two and squared it to Jakob Lindesfarne for the fifth and final Semar goal on 83 minutes before the Estenians got their third consolation on 87. At 17 years oldd the guy looked like a seasoned pro, not a 17 year old footballer who doesn’t even play for a professional team at the time of writing. But yeah, definitely got high hopes for this guy. Nkutu’s approaching his thirties, and maybe it will be Saint Etienne to take over?
Semarland: Blaise N’Zonzi, Matur Eiriksson, Jakob Lunds, Soren Pedersen (Martell Chalobah 80), Johan Huxley, Abel Nkutu (Dequane Saint Etienne 60), Marcel Labonne (Tunji Adebayo 60), Demba Cisse, Diego Snow, Marc Lygaard, Jakob Lindesfarne
Goals: Nkutu 4’, Lygaard 20’, Labonne 37’ (pen.), Saint Etienne 67’, Lindesfarne 83’

Googolsia 0-4 Semarland
Probably by far our best team performance, Isaac Nketiah and Serge Mavididi earned their first starts of the campaign and the duo both grabbed two goals each in a phenomenal performance that has outshone Lygaard, Lindesfarne and Simeone’s displays so far. Nketiah and Mavididi are doing quite well club wise, over in Polar Islandstates for FC Torshavn. Both on loan for a season from FC Jansberg, they look set to cement themselves in the starting lineup. They’ve got the potential to do so for the national team of course, although they currently have Lygaard, Lindesfarne, Simeone et cetera in their way and the slightly more dynamic duo of Kwame Nelson and Reiss Claro-Hunt, backed by attacking midfielder or trequartista, whichever is needed and twin of Reiss, Rene. So yeah, very dynamic. Kwame and Reiss are nearly the polar opposite of Isaac and Serge, with the latter two being giant, powerful strikers and the former two more fancy, box-of-tricks, out-and-out goalscorers. But both pairs great to watch, anyway. What I’d love to see though, is the linkup between Saint-Etienne, Nelson, and the Claro-Hunt twins. That sounds almost perfect…
Semarland: Kojo Boakye-Yiadom, Matur Eiriksson (Rasmus Norregaard 78), Jakob Lunds, Martell Chalobah, Nathaniel Oseni, Dequane Saint Etienne, Marcel Labonne, Tunji Tunde (Yannick Simeone 75), Diego Snow (Tipio Runen 62), Isaac Nketiah, Serge Mavididi
Goals: Nketiah 24’, 48’, Mavididi 30’, 52’

Semarland 2-2 Quakmybush
We could have won this. Countless times. The closing game of the qualifiers saw us draw 2-2 to third-ranked seed Quakmybush. This leaves us trailing in fourth place at the break, and considering we are second seed, that isn’t too great. Polar Islandstates look a dead cert to top the group, and then I guess from there it’s a race between us, Quakmybush and Bears Armed for second place, with maybe Estelar in the running for third or fourth. Either way, we should have definitely done better in this, with a disappointing performance from the usually ever consistent Jakob Lindesfarne but to make up for that, he played a lovely pass to Diego Snow who hit an absolute belter for his first goal of the qualification campaign, with Marc Lygaard grabbing the other goal.
Semarland: Marco Valbuena, Matur Eiriksson, Jakob Lunds, Soren Pedersen, Martell Chalobah, Nathaniel Oseni (Johan Huxley 82), Demba Cisse, Lasse Pedersen, Tunji Tunde (Diego Snow 62), Marc Lygaard (Yannick Simeone 87), Jakob Lindesfarne
Goals: Diego Snow 68’, Marc Lygaard 74’

San Jose Guayabal 0-2 Semarland
Semarland: Marco Valbuena (Blaise N’Zonzi HT), Matur Eiriksson, Jakob Lunds, Soren Pedersen, Nathaniel Oseni, Abel Nkutu, Marcel Labonne (Lasse Pedersen 70), Demba Cisse, Diego Snow, Marc Lygaard (Jakob Lindesfarne 87), Yannick Simeone
Goals: Simeone 31’, Lindesfarne 89’

The Royal Kingdom of Quebec 4-3 Semarland
Semarland: Kojo Boakye-Yiadom, Rasmus Norregaard (Matur Eiriksson 70), Jakob Lunds, Martell Chalobah, Nathaniel Oseni (Johan Huxley 70), Dequane Saint Etienne, Tunji Tunde (Marcel Labonne 85), Tunji Adebayo, Tipio Runen, Isaac Nketiah, Serge Mavididi
Goals: Adebayo 24’, Runen 56’, Saint Etienne 79’

Semarland 2-0 Polaaskan
Semarland: Blaise N’Zonzi (Marco Valbuena HT), Matur Eiriksson, Soren Pedersen, Martell Chalobah, Johan Huley, Abel Nkutu, Marcel Labonne (Pedersen 50), Tunji Tunde (Adebayo 50), Demba Cisse (Lunds 50), Tipio Runen, Yannick Simeone
Goals: Simeone 55’, Nkutu 74’

[Valanora]

Valanora Times
Second Half Blast

Six from six and in total control of Group 20 is where our Marauders find themselves after a marvelous first half of qualifying that was bookended with vintage performances by the two most dangerous teams in the group. Defeating Taeshan to start the campaign put the Marauders off on the right foot and then finding a way to escape Cosumar on matchday six ensured that the side would be top of the group at the first half, taking down the second seed thanks to a great effort by the offense to nab the late winner. That Taeshan would then defeat Cosumar on the final day of the first half gives the Mauraders some margin for error as they begin for the second half of the campaign.

What does this all mean though? Well it means that while there is still some pressure on the side to get the results that is expected of the team that has those five stars on its crests, it can play a bit looser knowing that one poor game will not mean the end of their qualification hopes. While the biggest threats remain Taeshan and Cosumar, our first and last matches in this second half respectively, the side will also now have to deal with not becoming complacent as they are assured the group title should they win at least five of their remaining six matches. That has to be the expectation for the squad, even if the dream of having a perfect qualifying section is out there, as you have to think that there will be one hiccup along the way. The key is not to let that one hiccup turn into two and then three and have not only a loss of form but a loss of confidence, for it is definitely the boost in confidence from how spectacular performance last World Cup that has sparked this revitalization.

There is also of course the superb efforts from the team and while the defense has been solved somewhat, they continue to perform above and beyond what most Vanorians are used to from the back three, while Aediron Galadirdren is starting to make a case for being the best Vanorian keeper of all time with coming up with timely and heroic stops when the defenders are beat. There is little we can say about Laborious Hawk or the rest of the hero quartet that has not already been said, for they are indeed the lifeblood of the team and the side seems to go where they take them. A big surprise however has been the continued excellent play from Dûrdur Celetholtinu, who was supposedly on the brink of being dropped from the national team side in the lead up to the qualifiers. The big target man however has shown that he still is of the quality for the national team with a pair of goals and some assists to go with them, as well as being one of the cogs in linking up the attacking play.

Taeshan is going to look to stonewall the midfield and our superb attacking force though, as it is always a case with their version of System Karela. The side was able to figure out how to break it down numerous times when they went to Atlantea to begin the campaign and you have to believe that the experience in overcoming it there along with the support they are expecting to get in Capri will be enough to see them past the Knights. A win would be the next step in securing the group outright and putting to rest any thoughts that the side will trip up here during the stretch run of qualifying, as the win would put them relatively out of touch of the Knights and give Cosumar all to do to try and recapture the lead from the Marauders. Thus this match is quite the pivotal one for our Marauders and as long as they play their game, a result is more likely than not to be theirs to capture.

[Pasarga]

"How angry do you think the Wanderers are right now?"

"On a scale of 0 to Gregoryisgodistan, probably a Starblaydia."

"That makes no sense at all."

"Doesn't it?"

"Right, well personally I bet that these first two games to start the second half of the Qualifiers are going to be some of the Wanderers best performances considering it was Yttribia and Gim that had them start off in such a slow and frightening path to begin the campaign. To add insult to it, one nation is a debutante in the tournament and the other one is using replacement players that are amateur and semi professionals from like the third and fourth tier of their pyramid. It's a bit insulting and very disconcerting that it was these two teams that saw the side be humbled in such a manner."

"Yeah I guess but that's the breaks, some teams field sentient eggs and trees, while other teams field actual players. Maybe it was the shock factor of not playing against the quality of team that they expected from Yttribia or maybe they were just too high up on their own headlines, but they lost and then they draw. Life happens, just ask Damukuni who had the unfortunate pleasure of being on the receiving end of our squad's anger and frustrations. Five goals to nil and utter shelling that may demoralize them for the rest of the tournament. You think that they find it fair that they had to play against the best team in the world while they were angry? Probably not, yet that's what happened."

"So what you're saying is to accept the fact that life is often cruel and unfair?"

"No, just that things happen and you have to accept that they happen, mourn or do what you need to do in those instances, and then move on. Dwelling on them just causes bitterment and keeps you from progressing towards being a better person with a fulfilled life."

"I think you're looking far too analytically and philosophically into what is merely a contest of skill."

"And you fail to see the grander picture in the scale of life."

[Flardania]

マッチデー七ポッドキャスト！
The current affairs of Kirishinan Football
Français|日本語|한국어|English
Tetsuya & Manabu Show | Kirishinan Broadcasting Corporation

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Broadcast in French

TH: "Welcome to the Tetsuya and Manabu radio show, I'm Hamasaki Tetsuya"

MY: "And I am Yonamine Manabu and at this point in the World Cup things are good so far, but today we will speak about a certain woman."

TH: "I do not like this at all"

MY: "For those at home who do not yet know this, in breaking news Bianka Schraeder will being playing her last season at Kawajiri and will be heading back to Armeia."

TH: "May I remind you without notifying anyone at all, not a single person on the team, the staff, management, her fans!?"

MY: "And yes like Hamasaki-san just mentioned she did not notify anyone at AC Kawajiri of her decision with people only finding out at the Lionesses FC press conference.

TH: "Let me tell you something, you have a girl who is towards the bottom of the barrel during the Sporting World Cup who while ignored by every single damn team, get's noticed by Takeshi "The Mad Scientist" Miyamoto who contacts you and give you a contract worth significantly more at the time then you are worth. Although I must say in hindsight she earned the money. Anyways the point is this man bet his career on you....

MY: "Perhaps she was just homesick and she just wanted to go back surely that's understandable. Right?"

TH: "I frankly don't care one bit if she is homesick or not because that's not the main issue. It still an issue we will get to but it's not the main issue. This girl had the ability to meet with Lioness representatives behind peoples back without anyone knowing but can't call up Miyamoto-san and thank him for the opportunity to get noticed and leave then?"

MY:"You make a pretty strong point especially considering how you felt with her coming in."

TH: "Exactly, I was not much of a fan of her but she started to prove me wrong about everything until today. Literally until today. That is.

MY: "Well it seems you aren't the only one who has an issue with this as one of the most kindhearted and honest players in the game, Sayo Matsuoka took to social media saying." "If I ever wanted to leave AFC CC, I would repay the fans and management by informing them. Then again not everyone has class... #Principle"

TH:"I'm predicting this now, Lioness/AFC CC games may get much more interesting then usual, I will tell you that much. Sayo can get spicy when she feels a basic decency has been violated. Anyways any explanation for our viewers as too why Bianka is homesick? "

MY: "Well according to sources apparently recently she found Kirishima to be too politically moderate for her and not enough right wing." *laughs* "I see you're boiling so I'm going to leave you to your rant." *laughs some more*

TH: "It's not funny, listen to this. Not politically right enough.....god forbid she was in a country that allows her current same sex relationship to be legal. The only Il Kauker thing that even effects her policy wise. Speaking of her same sex relationship remember that poor soul that she used to date."

MY: "I believe his name was Augustus Lenz, what about him?"

TH: "I legitimately feel so bad for him he gets a serious injury that was a threat to his career, he is frustrated and dealing with a bunch of things at a time where he needs support, Bianka leaves him for the thing most right wing nations or area don't allow...oh the irony. Hm and history repeats itself as we can see the way she is now treating Kawajiri."

MY:"How about any other foreign players you have a problem with any of them? "

TH: "No I literally love every single one of the rest. I love Ana Carolina from Sunrise Island she, Tomoyo Nishidake also from Sunrise, Kiirdhon Aeraval from Valanora who all helped Yabuta bring Akihabara their first title. I love everyone still just still upset with Bianka."

MY: "Even Draga?"

TH: "Yes even Draga, despite not have huge age difference with Bianka, is miles ahead. She is here on a two year loan so we know she is going to leave after awhile giving the manager time to plan and Draga played a 180% effort game every match in my opinion. She would have had more initially media coverage than Bianka if she wasn't on loan.

MY: "If Bianka is listening do you have anything to say directly to her?"

TH: "Look I'm sorry I'm angry but you need to realize you where not any regular high profile player. You were brought in as the center piece of a developing historically struggling team. You leaving when you are makes things difficult in team building. You not only may have permanetly setback a team that had high hopes for you but you hurt the careers of your teammates who either stayed on this team because of you or joined this team because of you. I guarantee ms Izumi is concerned that this may be her last world cup because of you because making a national squad from D2 is nearly impossible and Kristan Marle from Semaland is wondering what she is doing in Kawajiri.

MY: "Well that has been our show for today I'm Manabu..."

TH: "....And I'm Tetsuya...

MY & TH:.....Signing off End Show Music

[The Sword Bloke]

ANOTHER VOLCANIC CITY RUINED

There are many hobbies people can like. In The Sword Bloke, one hobby is to kill Volcanic people. And today that happened again, with the Volcanics being forced to remember the desert city of Kojo is about 700km west of Casablanca, and had a population of only 33,752 people, but Kojo is home to the V.A.B, or Volcanic Army Base. So Shop Owner just had to make the Swordeans happy.

After executing 39 people for the day, Shop Owner teleported to the Kojo Creek Walk, a walk along a path that used to be the old Kojo Creek. As Volcanic time is 14 hours behind Swordean time, it was 10:00pm at night in Kojo. All shops in Kojo are closed at night, or the Holy Volcanoc's evil half-brother the Sadel Snake would kill everyone in town, Kojoans believe.

Anyways, Shop Owner hid behind a sand sculpture of Priest Major Gulan, who was born in a hospital in the city. He got out a gun. There was one man walking on the street at night with a toy poodle and a torch. Shop Owner shot the man and grabbed the Toy Poodle to take home to his mansion to keep, as Shop Owner is an animal person.

He then got a sword and started chopping at the Priest Major Gulan statue, changing it to a statue of himself, even engraving it as Shop Owner. He was planning to put the statue on a beach near Angelou. The then went over to the town hall, and started a fire in the town hall. The mayor happened to be sleeping upstairs in town hall, so he was killed.

The fire spead to a tiny street, killing 14 people. Then, the good part happened. Shop Owner blew up the underground VAB by digging a hole that led into a pipe, and pushing the bomb that was about to explode in 10 seconds down a straight pipe. As 5,000 Volcanic soldiers sleep in the base, they were all killed.

With nobody to protect the other 25,000 + people, Shop Owner went back up into a blimp, dropping a nuclear bomb with a range of 7 kilometres onto Kojo. Everyone was killed, including another 783 tourists and 16 people taking part in a night walk just outside of the city.

Shop Owner teleported back to Angelou, where thousands of people were watching the bombing on a screen. As always, he was given a heroic reception. One Volcanic spy in The Sword Bloke then started booing the broadcast, with Shop Owner strangling him as well. The moral of the story is that Shop Owner always wins and that Volcanoc has a crap army.

[Brenecia]

THE ROZELLE OBSERVER
Weirdly Rock-solid Brenecia Have What It Takes
by Karena Fife

What conclusions can you take from the first half of qualifying? Well, it can't be that bad - Brenecia have won every game and kept clean sheets in all but one of them. By now, the Patriots hold a three-point lead over Starblaydia and six over Ko-oren, with a home leg to come against both of them. That said, none of the victories besides the first (against nonentity Ilasia) and last (a refreshing bit of revenge against Recuecn) have been won by more than a single goal, and the fact that a mediocre Antoletia side scored three goals is a concern even if no other team could follow suit. Occasionally final balls aren't connecting, and Maddon is, at times, isolated up front. Brenecia probably aren't scoring as many as they should. Still, as it stands, Brenecia should (touch wood) qualify. So who should come with them?

Goalkeepers
A total no-brainer. Geneva Urquhart is staking a solid claim to be the best goalkeeper Brenecia has ever produced. Leagues ahead of her competition, none of whom have played in the Bale era. If Urquhart's injured, well, um... the best bet looks to be Sheila Cannon, who is at least young and improving.

Defenders
Surprising nobody, the middle part of Brenecia's solid defensive spine is captain fantastic Orson Faulkner. But for what seems like the first time in a while he's surrounded by competence. Brandon Duguid has improved massively since being thrown straight into the fire two years ago, now cool and composed on the ball and clean in the tackle. Late bolter Anaximander Scrivener is a pure brick, and the Guilder centre-half should be the long-term replacement for Faulkner - he's easily better than either Kilcane or Colback, neither of whom has had too many opportunities so far. Given is still easily the first-choice rightback, and while Berenger is a better rightback than Waters, it's the former Kingsgrove fullback who's done better with her cameos. Collingwood, a young squad player for Hastmead Diamante, has cemented his place as first-choice leftback, with Duffy a very good backup.

Midfielders
Lilith Paterson is the story of qualifying so far, and even though Brenecia 4-3 Antoletia marked the first time she'd ever even been to the country (and it was a shaky performance from her on the night), she's been simply unbeatable at all other times. Kilbane is a top-class midfielder who just kind of slots into the mould at Crisisbless but is truly appreciated for her country, while Purrington is beautifully poised and has a perfect left boot as always. A strong first-team is probably not adequately supported in depth. Fife is a good A-League player who can't stand up to players of genuine class and is used to having more support, Galloway's duty is to replace the irreplaceable Purrington (and she just doesn't), and Blackslate is pretty much just a slightly worse clone of Kilbane. The Harmonica Tundra midfielder will be glad to have opened her account for Brenecia in her 15th cap with a beautiful curling strike to open the scoring against Recuecn. Curtin and Ramsey are, well... probably not going to make the last 23. They've looked okay, but not been tested against the best sides.

Forwards
There's no replacing Isadora Cullen either on the right wing or up front. Due to lack of alternatives, she plays - as she always has for her country - out on the right. Her squad player status for her club, like Collingwood, has contributed to her freshness. Out on the left, Naphtali Thatcher has been irrepressible. It's important to mention that the goals that beat both Dainer and Starblaydia were basically identical - a far-post Cullen cross that Thatcher stuck in the net. Bowditch is showing promise, but not technique, effectively shutting out Swain's chances. Pendragon on the left continues to be one of the A-League's best, cutting apart weak rightbacks but not with too much to offer against the best. Up front, Sabrefell Moths striker Sheila Maddon has three goals from five qualifiers, Rankin (whose chances have been limited) one from three. Both are ideal strikers for this sort of team, very quick and reasonably clinical. Danmark is only the first of those things. It would be interesting to see how Brenecia could use a big target man up front, but the Brenecian half of the A-League doesn't really have any good ones besides the uncapped 33-year old North Hall striker Chris Ravenhorst, whose bird has flown.

So in summary, it's clear to see that this Brenecian first XI is one of fantastic quality... and there isn't too much to back it up. There's some decent players in the wings, but none you would feel entirely comfortable pitting against top-qualify opposition. Avoiding injury and suspension will be key to the Patriots' chances of making a real impact at the World Cup for the first time. For all that? Hopes are sky-high at home, and so they should be. It's time for Brenecia to make the world stand up and take notice.

[The Saint James Islands]

(As promised, the election thread is up! Please don’t throw Omerica to the vultures.)
blogdefootball.co.om
All the football news that's fit to print!

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Could qualification be on the cards for Apox-Quebec?
By Makaio Moana, published 12 April 2021

With the current federal election going on, you would be very much forgiven for forgetting that World Cup qualifying was upon us. Jean-Baptiste Archambault’s return to the helm of Omerica has been a successful one so far, going 9-5-2 since taking over from James-Alexandre Christopherson. (By the way, someone might want to talk with us about our obsession with hyphenated names.) Currently sitting in third place in qualifying Group 17 and on a hot streak since crashing out of KRYBEC, this could be Omerica’s year to shine, provided we are willing to put in the struggle.

Omerica has lost just two games since that fateful loss to the Sarian sent Omerica out of the last Cup of Harmony in the group stage (yet again): the Campionato quarterfinal to Nephara that took extra time to decide and the nail-biter in West Angola. Given the circumstances, neither win is unforgivable and given his performance so far, seeing Archambault lead the Omerica team into the next Campionato Esportiva is but a certainty barring a horrific turn of fortunes in the second half of qualifying for this cycle. Six games in and just two points shy of Omerica’s results in the entire fourteen game qualifying campaign of World Cup 69, the TAO appears to be satisfied and Omerica is definitely in a dead-heat battle to make it to the World Cup.

Omerica 1–1 Unified Sunrise Islands
Not a shabby start to qualifying, though it is worth noting that in five attempts, Omerica have never won their opening qualifying game. Not once. Nonetheless, a draw against the USI is worth something, taking them down a couple of notches moving ahead. If we can win the return leg—which is not outside reason—we ought to have a significant advantage down the road. Alas, it might not come to be, so brace yourselves for a brave loss to open the second half.

Zackalantis 2–4 Omerica
Who are these people and how did they score two goals? We haven’t a clue who they are, where they are or what they are, so it isn’t really worth trying to decipher this, but suffice to say that the return leg should be a healthy steamrolling by Omerica.

Omerica 3–2 Armeia
For a qualifying débutante, Armeia have proven a worthy side playing strong, attacking football. Tactically, an interesting spectacle all around and we almost feel bad that Armeia lost. Nonetheless, the narrow margin of victory will not bode well for the return leg, where Armeia have home pitch advantage, so cross your fingers that nothing bad happens to the team in the meantime, because this will be a surprisingly difficult game that could make or break our qualifying dreams.

West Angola 3–2 Omerica
Exactly the result we feared when they were pulled from the pot in the qualifying draw, but ultimately not a bad sign for the home game, which is strangely going to be played outside the country for whatever reason. But a narrow loss for the Omerican reserves ought to serve as a bright spot of hope for the future of the Omerican side when players like Marvin Sessions and Neama Iokua depart. The big if is what would have happened if we fielded our strongest side. We likely would have won, but then this next game might not have happened.

Omerica 3–2 Osarius
WOO! Nowhere near as comprehensive as the win over the Holy Empire in Kalsden, but still an important moment if Les Oiseaux want to make the World Cup in Apox and Quebec. If there were ever a moment for a pessimistic Omerica fan to regain faith in the team, this would be that moment. A back-and-forth battle all the way, but the trip to Osarius is likely to see Omerica go away empty-handed. Nonetheless, one win is better than none, so look on the bright side.

Kaboomlandia 0–0 Omerica
It is a disappointment not to win against a lower-ranked side, but this game was always going to be the most tactically challenging of the bunch. Kaboomlandia have actively spat on the face of football by resorting to such tactics as the offside trap, so it is even sadder that we didn’t win. Nonetheless, a draw keeps us in the race for the play-offs, so we are not in as bad a shape as we would have been in if we had lost. The return leg ought to be a narrow, but respectable win for Omerica.

Our fate
The second half of qualifying will be a challenge. Facing the Sunrisians, Osarians and even Armeians away will be a difficult task, but Omerica should have home wins over Zackalantis, West Angola and Kaboomlandia locked up. Armeia will certainly be a must-win game, with some finger-crossing needed to pull one over on the Firebirds and Samba Kids (the USI’s nickname, by the way; we didn’t know it either). The loss to West Angola is starting to look more agonising, but given Omerica’s record since then, it is perfectly possible to overcome that small obstacle in the weeks ahead. Direct qualification is a bit far-fetched, but play-offs will be a winnable battle.

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Turanga ʻAhipula ʻo ʻOmerika
6 Jacques la Rouge Road
Port-Alexandre, Philibiscostal 18-A40
COMMONWEALTH OF OMERICA

Official Press Release - Tuku Katipa Hoi ʻe Pieti

Qualifiers for the Seventy-Third World Cup
Omerica national team line-up vs Unified Sunrise Islands (away)

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Substitutes
GK - N^o 13: Stéphane ROUSSEAU
GK - N^o 25: John MARTIN
LD - N^o 14: Martin PALL
CD - N^o 17: Jean-Marie MOLINEAUX
CD - N^o 15: Makara ʻO TOA
RD - N^o 16: Mikäel CHRISTOPHE
CM - N^o 18: William PARNELL
CM - N^o 19: Tömas DE VRIKT
AM - N^o 20: Raia TURI
LF - N^o 21: Red TYLER
ST - N^o 22: John PERCIVAL
RF - N^o 23: Ryan CASSIDY

Starting eleven
GK - N^o 1: INTAN Petera
LD - N^o 2: Jean-Luc CHARPENTIER
CD - N^o 5: Tobias WILMER
CD - N^o 3: Marvin SESSIONS
RD - N^o 4: Victor MASON
CM - N^o 6: Kai EKO
CM - N^o 7: Erik DE WAALD
AM - N^o 8: Uirema MOANA
LF - N^o 9: Neama IOKUA
ST - N^o 11: Jan-Nikläs ROSENKRÄNTS
RF - N^o 10: JEAN-BAPTISTE Couard

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Omerica’s top scorers

John Percival - 3 goals
Georges Rousseau - 2 goals
Tömas de Vrikt - 2 goal
Neama Iokua - 2 goals

Tii ʻo Uirema - 1 goal
Casimir Paquet - 1 goal
Jan-Nikläs Rosenkränts - 1 goal
Kai Eko - 1 goal

[Gim]

Football Magazine: Goal!

SATV HD - Friday 1:05 A.M. - 1:35 A.M.

Hosts: Chae Byung Ho and Ha Ga Eun

Camera moves down from an aerial view of the studio to facing the two hosts.


Chae Byung Ho: "Hello and welcome to Football Magazine: Goal! This is Chae Byung Ho."

Ha Ga Eun: "I'm Ha Ga Eun!"

Chae Byung Ho: "Well, the Gimian players had a day of rest, and I think they are very eager to play again."

Ha Ga Eun: "Mind you that the team has never allowed more than two goals in any of their tournament games. Defensive prowess can definitely be seen from their team."

Chae Byung Ho: "Yes, especially the game against Yttribia, a team that is probably the best in this tournament so far. They are undefeated in the tournament, not to mention the fact that they have beaten the No.1-ranked Pasarga. So far, the only teams that have not lost against Pasarga are Yttribia and us."

Ha Ga Eun: "I mean, we lost the game against them 1-0, but, honestly, I think the game should have at least 5-0 for the Yttribians. Thirty-one scoring opportunities for them and the Gimians blocked all of them, except for one, which was barely...I mean...barely over the goal line. Two inches close from a draw against the best team in the 73rd season of the World Cup."

Chae Byung Ho chuckles.

Chae Byung Ho: "I mean, I just cannot forget the fact our team has flourished defensively. I think it is safe to say our defense is one of the top in the World Cup right now. During the 60th season of Baptism of Fire, we had a perfect, a clean sheet, round robin, undefeated, and no regulation losses; we only lost in the extra time against Eshan in the quarterfinals. Ga Eun, who do you think is the best player for Gim so far?"

Ha Ga Eun: "Defensively, it is undisputed that Kim Dong Jin is the best player. We heard of a rumor that Abanhfleft requested Kim to be transferred to their team. The exact amount is unknown, though. Jeon Geon Tae has leadership, since he is a veteran, but Kim Dong Jin is probably the one with the best defensive prowess in our team, perhaps one of the top defensemen in the multiverse, in my opinion."

Chae Byung Ho: "Yes, I believe so, too. Due to time constraints, let's jump to another topic. Gim versus Greater Watford. 1-0 goal for Greater Watford. How is the appeal going?"

Ha Ga Eun: "Well, we have taken the issue to the Multiverse Football Association; however, unfortunately, the appeal process did not go in our favor, as it was denied with a comment that the goalkeeper would not have saved it in the first place, thereby making it a goal. I disagree with this call, because a player can make mistakes and let's say a player slipped and lost possession. He cannot gain possession of the ball just because he made a mistake. Same applies to the call. The Watfordian player made a mistake of kicking the ball off the crossbar. Is it that, since he made a mistake, he deserves a goal? The logic is clearly flawed."

Chae Byung Ho: "Well, for those of you who do not know what the situation was, here is the disputed play."

Camera turns towards the erroneous goal call by the referee.

Chae Byung Ho: "Well, we are almost out of time, so I will make a final comment. We cannot appeal the call anymore; we just hope we would not create an opportunity again by which the referees can call a goal against the Gimian team. Thank you very much. This was Chae Byung Ho and..."

Ha Ga Eun: "Ha Ga Eun."

Camera switches to an aerial view of the studio.

[Jeruselem]

Jeruselem Government News

Princess Amy's last World Cup

Jeruselem coach Princess Amy (Amelia Song Dallas) has announced World Cup 73 will be her last. She is retiring from her football duties in all forms and pursuing some special projects. When asked about these special projects, she said one of them was a dating show modelled on a popular Chinese dating screening in Jeruselem. She said she would be hosting the show.

"I'm a grandmother and well, tripping around the universe gets tiring when you get to this age. I'm sure my kids and grandkids are taking over this gig." she said about her future.

Her son-in-law ROAW, married to her daughter Princess Laura Virginia Dallas, current Jeruselem captain said he'd be interested in taking a role in the next World Cup. Although he said, the chance of being manager was pretty much zero considering no one likes him.

Former Jeru FC coach Major Trooble is still in hospital in stable condition but not well enough to leave. His daughter Fifi, who works for Naked News Jeruselem, said her Dad would never be same again after the heart attack. It was attributed to genetic fault in his genome and he was lucky he was fit and strong healthy person in the first place.

[United States of Devonta]

Halfway There
_{Devontans defeat unranked Cuboneland to cap off WCQ 73 half}

United States of Devonta 2-0 Cuboneland

United States of Devonta (4-4-2 Diamond): Cooper, Brooks, Benton, Kindred, Liam, Russell, Abdullah, Edwards, Owens, Johansen, Adams
Cuboneland (Unknown): UNKNOWN

Quick Stats:
61% Possessions, 11 Shots, 8 on goal, 4 corners
39% Possessions, 6 Shots, 4 on goal, 2 corners

Goals:
Johansen (22'), Owens (47')
--NONE--

CAUTIONED: Liam (60')
EJECTED: --NONE--

Table:

  Group 18                              Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Saintland                               6    5   1   0    11    2   +9    16
2 United States of Devonta                6    4   1   1     9    7   +2    13
3 Abanhfleft                              6    4   0   2    14    8   +6    12
4 Witty Penguins                          6    2   2   2     5    5    0     8
5 New Gelderland                          6    1   2   3     3    5   −2     5
6 Maklohi Vai                             6    1   1   4     3    8   −5     4
7 Cuboneland                              6    0   1   5     4   14  −10     1

Schedule:
MD1: United States of Devonta 0-4 Saintland
MD2: United States of Devonta 2-0 New Gelderland
MD3: United States of Devonta 0-0 Witty Penguins
MD4: BYE
MD5: United States of Devonta 3-2 Abanhfleft
MD6: United States of Devonta 2-1 Maklohi Vai
MD7: United States of Devonta 2-0 Cuboneland
RD: BYE
MD8: United States of Devonta Vs. Saintland
MD9: United States of Devonta Vs. New Gelderland
MD10: United States of Devonta Vs. Witty Penguins
MD11: BYE
MD12: United States of Devonta Vs. Abanhfleft
MD13: United States of Devonta Vs. Maklohi Vai
MD14: United States of Devonta Vs. Cuboneland

Other Group 18 Games:
Witty Penguins 0-2 Saintland
Maklohi Vai 0-3 Abanhfleft

---

----MATCHDAY SEVEN----

---

Matchday Seven | Cuboneland | Unranked | @Capitol Stadium, Devonta City, United States of Devonta | 45,438 attendance | Ref. Rory Cloen

[Acronius]

---

Halfway There
Safe 2-2 draw against Lymantatia concludes first half of qualification
James E. Sudlow (@SudlowUP)
^{10/19/2015, 22:19 | Aberdeen, Acronius}

^{SHARE THIS:}

---

ACRONIUS 2 - 2 LYMANTATIA

Acronius - 4-2-4
GK - Sebastian Nielsen
LB - Richard Ayers
LCB - Paul Caron
RCB - Louis Fabre
RB - Franz Ruess
LCM - Lewis Graves
RCM - Eddie Allison
LW - Malcolm Blueman
LCF - Artem Karlenko
RCF - Jimmy Jervis
RF - Jeremy Buckley

Lymantatia - 4-4-2
GK - Jacques DeLamielleure
LB - Edward Lowe
LCB - Jacques Volante
RCB - Jacques Martineau
RB - Nicholas Baker
LM - Nicholas Ivanov
LCM - Charles Garcia
RCM - Jacques Villiers
RM - Christ. DeLamielleure
LF - Jacques Bressler
RF - Sylvius Johnson

Goalscorers

---

Jervis - '34
Blueman - '80

Bressler - '24, 59

To be fair, it was a good result. Most were forecasting the Free Union to have their undefeated streak shattered on the last matchday of the World Cup 73 Qualifiers' first half. After all, despite home advantage, the Blue Boys were going up against a superior Lymantatian side, ranked 25 spots above the Blue Boys in international rankings. The game, played at the Swindon Lane, a grand stadium with a maximum capacity of 80,000 seated located in the second-largest city in the Free Union, Aberdeen, hosted the match, which would eventually end in a 2-2 draw. This game would more or less shape up Acronius' chances of qualifying as they prepared for the second half of qualification - and after the dull 2-2 draw against the Lymantatians, they don't have the best chances of qualifying, but they don't have the worst chances either. But, we'll talk about that later. Now, for the game.

Once more, Acronius, playing at home, was supported by a full house of 80,000 fans and media from both nations, with around three quarters of Swindon Lane was occupied by local supporters. Coming off a solid 3-5 away win against Port Christopher, Acronius C's record wasn't half-bad at all in most people's books, minus their abhorrent goalkeeping. But then again - the Free Union has only had two clean sheets so far throughout the length of their history in the world of football - the first one being a memorable 7-0 thrashing of minnows Slovenya during an international friendly, and the other being a goalless draw against Kingkamp during the group stages of the inaugural Emperor's Cup, in Flardania. That bad habit wouldn't end on this particular day.

For a surprising change, Lymantatia and Acronius seemed to be quite evenly-matched when the starting whistle blew - possession and territory were shared by the two sides immediately as play started. Acronius C, with a midfield comprised only of Lewis Graves and Eddie Allison, who despite being members of the original Blue Boys, had shown overall sloppy play so far, possessed a serious lack of authority within the midfield, which would come to be dominated by Lymantatians Charles Garcia and Jacques Villiers in the centre, with Nicholas Ivanov and Christianus DeLamielleure reinforcing their centre-field counterparts. A strong four-man defense lead by the likes of Richard Ayers and Franz Ruess were able to fend off the Lymantatians for a substantial amount of time with applaudable defending, but with four Acronians idling up front and two others practically useless in the midfield, Lymantatia drew first blood, nearly 25 minutes into the game.

Winger Christianus DeLamielleure quickly began to ruthlessly exploit the right flank of the field - one of the few, yet often deadly shortcomings of the uncommon 4-2-4 formation, and quickly engaged in brisk one-on-one, face-to-face action with Richard Ayers - and the latter eventually won the fight, pushing DeLamielleure back out of the Acronian box. The Lymantatian winger wasn't done though, and he instead took advantage of an inattentive Louis Fabre in order to get the ball to striker and team captain Jacques Bressler, who sidestepped Paul Caron before firing a shot past goalkeeper Sebastian Nielsen's gloves, opening the match's scoreline without incident. The score was now 0-1 for the visitors, and the crowd wasn't exactly happy.

Play resumed, though, and despite the Acronians being somewhat down on morale, they still came running back into the game a mere ten minutes later, with eighteen year old wonderkid Jimmy Jervis leveling the playing field for the Blue Boys. The majority of play in the game had now shifted from the heart of the field onto the fringes of the flanks, which now possessed a considerable Acronian presence, made up of the wingbacks and wingers improvising for the lack of midfielders anywhere near the extremities of the pitch. It was one of these wingbacks, Franz Ruess, who also happened to have been chosen to captain Acronius C, who drove the ball forward with cutting-edge crossing that ended up perfectly at the legs of Malcolm Blueman, an Acronian winger whose passing skills and chemistry were not something to overlook. Blueman followed up on the cross with a second one, this time into the center of the Lymantatian box, and it was the meek, yet sturdy Jimmy Jervis that aerially outplayed Jacques Martineau and thrust the ball into the back of the net with his forehead. The score was now 1-1 in the 34th minute.

The halftime mark passed with play staling in wake of the game's second half. Lymantatia's iron grip in the center of the pitch and Acronius' deftness and nimbleness on the flanks balanced each other out, which stagnated play for nearly half an hour before a second Lymantatian goal set the game back on track, and, once again, it would be Jacques Bressler who would score. Acronius C's firm grasp on the wings eventually had to give way at one point, and ultimately yielded to Lymantatian winger Nicholas Ivanov's pressure. The Alexanderburg FC player, after a fruitless spell of long battles with Franz Ruess and Jeremy Buckley, finally slipped under the radar of Acronius C's captain, but an unsolicited and pointless tackle on the winger on the part of a sloppy Louis Fabre was enough to gift Lymantatia with a classic nineteen-yard free kick, to be taken by Bressler. With no-nonsense accuracy, the Laurentia FC player pinpointed the top-right corner of the goal, generally considered an impossible zone for the majority of goalkeepers in the world, and scored a dead-on goal that would boost Lymantatia back to its previous one-goal lead on Acronius. 2-0 for Lymantatia in the 59th minute.

After the game's third goal, Acronius and Lymantatia had their roles in the game reversed - the former was now on the offensive for the most part, as the latter sat on their modest, yet important lead over their opponents, trying to outplay the clock and run away with a measly 1-2 win. The visitors' compact four-man defense, made up of Edward Lowe, Jacques Volante, Jacques Martineau, and Nicholas Baker, was efficient and effective in keeping Acronius' four-man offense, made up of Malcolm Blueman, Artem Karlenko, Jimmy Jervis, and Jeremy Buckley, at bay for the following twenty minutes. But with a drop of luck, a second equalizer finally came, in the 79th minute.

For once, Lewis Graves had a hold of the ball, and somehow got past Charles Garcia before sneaking a pass past Jacques Villiers and to Malcolm Blueman. The muscular, yet agile winger was brought down to the ground with a substandard slide tackle issued by Jacques Volante, and Acronius was awarded a free kick by the referee. Blueman was certainly dangerous from this distance - he had already scored a fee kick from a similar distance back on matchday four against Port Christopher - and he succeeded yet again, this time against Lymantatia, with a little help from a useful deflection from Artem Karlenko. The match ended in a 2-2 draw under a slight Aberdeen drizzle, and things weren't looking as good for Acronius as they did before.

The draw against Lymantatia comes amidst two important pieces of news within Acronian football. The first one is official news of an indefinite suspension of Acronius' supposed manager, Frank Vereyt, meaning that Henry Coyle was now the team manager for the Blue Boys, but the second piece of news would probably be more important to most. Acronian star athlete and the original captain of the Acronian team, Jean Richelieu, won't be playing in the qualifiers at all - despite an initial forecast of a full recovery from his severe knee injury, the 'Blue Cardinal' will not see any action in the World Cup 73 Qualifiers, following injury complications that have postponed his recovery, according to sources.

This would unquestionably impact the Free Union's team - a lack in the offense meant that miracles such as 2-2 draws against Electrum, phenomenons like 4-4 draws against Lymantatia, or much-needed 2-2 upsets against teams like Lymantatia would be even more impossible to believe - and it appears that a lot of people are behind this idea. A recent survey organized by the Union Post reveals that a paltry 28% of voters believed that the Blue Boys would qualify (with 3% believing they would qualify in first place, while 25% believed they would qualify in second place), compared to a whopping 72% of voters who were adamant that Acronius would not qualify for the prestigious tournament. Whether or not they do, though, remains to be seen - but having to immediately go up against Electrum on matchday eight probably won't do much good for Acronius.

Lymantatia didn't post a roster for the WC73Q, so all references to their team made in this post are based off the last football tournament in which they posted a roster in, the World Cup 69 Qualifiers.

Man of the Match: Malcolm Blueman

Vigorous agility, excellent passing, skillful crossing, and useful adaptability all come to mind when one thinks of Malcolm Blueman's performance during the match against Lymantatia. His splendid free kick goal in the 80th minute will , without a doubt, earn him a very good spot in Henry Coyle's book. Along with Titus Blackett, Franz Ruess, Jimmy Jervis, and Axel Aubry, Blueman is one of our picks to appear on the finalized version of the Acronian national team.

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Comments [ --COMMENTS-- ] | E-mail

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521 comments

thekwasak · 17 minutes ago
That free kick was essentially impossible. You know, like our chances of qualifying.

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203 up · 44 down

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Peter Islington · 1 hour ago
Ugh... why do we have Electrum next... we're going to die...

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116 up · 11 down

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Michael Courkey · 2 hours ago
Going to Atlas Arena to see the Electrum game. My heart and soul is ready to see Acronius D receive the most painful trashing of their lives.

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[Nephara]

THE BRINEMOUTH HERALD
WORRYING SIGNS FOR SWOONING CORMORANTS AT THE HALFWAY POINT
by Sepp Thorn

It's starting to recall some echoes of 69. (That's a really bad thing, kids.)

Except, to be fair, 69's squad was thought to be the best Nephara had ever produced. It was preceded by a wave of optimism, as Nephara were champions of Esportiva. Marlowe and Belfast at the back and Rowland and Cathar up front were all in their prime. There wasn't a side of Nova Anglicana's quality in our group. Oh, and we won all our home games.

Fuck.

Still, it's hardly too late to recover. Really, we should recover, though it's no longer all in our own hands - Nova Anglicana will need to drop another game at some point, and we really need to beat them away. Christ. And what's just as disconcerting is the manner of the defeat to Timbermunich. Theresa Riether has cut a... well, she wasn't inspiring confidence in the technical area as Nephara just kind of slunk to defeat. It seemed like the wrong time to bring out the 4-3-3, Gawain had a poor match and nothing really seemed to, well, work. And then, of course, a late cross by Timbermunich is scooped into the net by... Hadrian Belfast, of all the people in the world. In fairness, he needed to make some kind of touch to stop their striker getting to it, but still. What is the universe coming to?

Another way of looking at it is that it's two defeats, one to a very good team, another to an okay team at home. Nothing irreversible. And, even if we do just scrape into the playoffs, we'll probably still win those playoffs.

But maybe we just aren't quite as good as we think we are.

A more straightforward question. If Riether failed to qualify, would she, in spite of everything she's done, get the axe? She's the only Nepharim manager to fail to win anything. Admittedly, she's only the third, but it isn't as though she can point to any trophies in self-defence. Something she had on her predecessors was a qualifying record close to flawless. So much for that, then. As for what the President of the NFA might think, well, interviews with him haven't found it too hard to get him to say outright that he probably should have sacked Jess Mortlock (now thriving with Violence Chariots) after failing to qualify or even reach the playoffs as top seeds. The Cup of Harmony was little consolation for a mediocre end to Mortlock's tenure.

It would be stupid, however, to throw the baby out with the bathwater just yet. Riether is an exceptional manager, a sharp tactician and a born winner who has, despite her lack of experience or silverware, genuinely lifted the Cormorants to new heights on and off the pitch. Nephara these days is, well, third in the world with two straight quarterfinal finishes at the World Cup - beaten by the eventual champions in each. Who else would come in, anyway? Reinhard Shale is probably the obvious candidate, but he seems more than content at Crisisbless presently. Larissa Garrotte would be a left-field choice, and probably the wrong one. The Nepharim way has, in all fairness, been to pluck someone from obscurity, but even casting the net further out doesn't find anyone who you'd give even a coin-flip's chance of doing better than Riether.

And in theory, her plan so far has worked, even if it's come a little unstuck sometimes. Throwing on Gawain for Keller and pushing the wingers forward, well... that only works if Gawain doesn't pull a disappearing act, and there was nobody to feed on Kellard's sick knock-downs and second balls. In Ashdown and Rainsford, we finally have a midfield unit of two who are genuinely on the fringes of world-class. Both have a similar skillset but, tantalisingly, different mindsets - both are very clever, both have fantastic passing ranges, both are good shots, but Rainsford (who is significantly slower, it has to be said, but a fantastic tackler) prefers to sit back and hold the line while captain-in-waiting Ashdown roams forward and causes trouble. You need central midfielders of this class to play a 4-4-2 at the top levels. We're lucky to have them. Keller has done pretty well, even if he's been a touch streaky. So has Covenant. This can work.

Even if it's a little rough right now.

[Krytenia]

TO: news@embertonpost.kt, editor@southerner.kt, carlasanguinetti@thecyun.com
FR: rn3@kfa.kt
SJ: Open Letter - Please Publish In Full

An Open Letter To The People Of Krytenia

Hello, Rameses Niblick III here.

It's been an interesting journey, hasn't it?

I don't just mean this World Cup campaign, a rollercoaster ride though it has been. I mean the whole shebang, from Haperd to whatever happens next. We have seen glory and defeat (mainly the latter, alas, we are specialists in agonising failure), we have seen the rise of the greats and the fall of careers, of empires, of good men and bad.

And I have been here with you, placing ink to paper, reflecting your greatest desires and your darkest fears. Enunciating those thoughts you never dared to make public. Heaping all of the invectives on Starblaydia, whilst secretly respecting and envying them. Consoling Audioslavia, whilst secretly despising them. Hoping that this time, it won't be Sarzonia on penalties, or Valanora away, or Aguazul in general.

Sadly, though, all good things must come to an end.

For the last seven years, I have managed the Krytenian national football team. It's been a wonderful burden, an onerous honour, and I wouldn't change one minute of it for the world. Now, though, I understand it's no longer the time for an old dinosaur like myself. I will honour the remainder of my contract - which will likely conclude at the LXV^th Cup of Harmony, and then I will be gone.

And when I say gone, I mean gone. No going back to the Cy'un, no reporting on matches in far-flung and long-forgotten corners of the world. I'm going to retire, enjoy some time with the little Niblets that my daughter (and her children) have inflicted upon the world, and generally enjoy the fruits of my labours. Hell, if we win a World Cup down the line, I might even change my name back.

There will always be a place in my heart for all of you. I am, and always will be, a proud Krytenian. I've gone to prison for that belief, and I know it's one you all share.

So, to sign out, I shall paraphrase the man who has been my greatest rival, my most heinous enemy, and the one man in this world I would truly say has earned my eternal respect.

I've Been Daniel Wheldon, G'Nite Bitches.

Cleo patted her father's shoulder as he sent the e-mail, expression ashen but stony.

"You'll be OK, dad. You always were."

[Damukuni]

<< Previous Post | Next Post >>

THE LXXIII WORLD CUP
APOX · ROYAL KINGDOM OF QUÉBEC
on


Qualifying Stage
Group 5 | Qualifier 20 | 21 Oct 2015
(191) PAS 5 - 0 DKI (229)
Stade de Torgos, Pasarga

MATCH TIMELINE
presented by Supercel®
PAS
PLAYER
TIME
EVENT
DKI
0
-- ----
00:00
Start of Match
0
1
-- Mauer
08:16
GOAL
2
-- Mauer
14:31
GOAL
3
-- Van Kruistum
17:10
GOAL
4
-- Mauer
25:33
GOAL
5
-- Valdimarsdóttir
76:36
GOAL
5
-- ----
90:00
Full Time
0

---

The car stopped at what looked like an abandoned fortress. Because Wisdom Tracey's kidnappers did not blindfold her, she looked around before the car turned into the entryway. She saw a dilapidated pair of signs that read:

(A 403) E (Y1)

That's funny, she thought to herself. The A403 was closed long ago, with the formation of the new Federal Highways Act of 2014.
"Out we go!" the lead man ordered when they were inside, and the orderlies in the car led her out and untied her. "Come with us," he said assuringly to her. "We at the Confederation treat our honoured guests well."
Such an honoured guest, she thought, but didn't want to voice that out loud, fearing she might fall into bad favour with her "hosts."
"Well, well, well... if it isn't my old friend Wisdom!" A woman's voice bellowed from the other end of the fort. Everyone turned.
Wisdom, upon recognising the voice, immediately facepalmed...
An image flashed through her head. Two young girls in South Otselic soccer jerseys, messing around with a ball in the park in Forest Glade. That park was long gone, with an information technology firm that later merged with telecom giant Supercel now inhabiting the place, but those memories had never left her mind.
The woman coming toward her had grown a little more haggard beyond her age than Wisdom had last seen her, given the Tracey family had moved around a bit, but the crazed look in her eyes was still the same. Wisdom opened her mouth to say something, but no words would come...

REMEMBER! Nicole Statham is currently replacing Wisdom Tracey, and Jayne Patrick is currently the acting captain.
IN ADDITION: The second leg's home matches will be played at the West Bay Cricket Club (WBCC for short) in West Bay City, West Bay State, Damukuni.

[Ceni]

---

Ceniana Consolidates in Rushmore, Astyria

---

As part of its expansion into the sporting regions, Ceniana, through its subsidiary Javelin Airlines, has consolidated its position in Rushmore by expanding service to Eura, Vermark, and New Gelderland, as well as Transalpine Republic and Semarland in Atlantian Oceania. Meanwhile, in Astyria, Ceniana has secured an important cargo concession, agreeing to become the air carrier of the international company South Soda Seas of Costa Aluria. Finally, Ceniana split off its cargo division to create a separate all-cargo airline. All of these measures have been designed to increase revenue and profit in the lucrative sporting regions and Astyria.

"Our company needs to be more flexible, to grow with the changing times," Ceniana CEO Xina Iesan reflected in an interview with LTA Matrix. "I hope to lead our company in a direction where it can better respond to changing currents and wind and change its tack, so to speak, in response to those changing trends. One of those trends is the increasing importance of the sporting regions in our planning." Iesan views the sporting regions as an opportunity to expand into an area where there isn't a lot of competition. "We have the opportunity to be trailblazers in a lot of countries, to connect them to a lot of the rest of the world. I think that we're in a good position to take that opportunity and run with it, and find ourselves a new base and a new niche." Iesan also reflected that her company needed to focus on ways to serve its customers. "When I was a flight attendant a while back, I was the face of our company, actually serving the customers. Sometimes I felt like corporate management and those up top weren't trying to serve the customers. I think they were trying to gouge every single dime out of these passengers without caring for them at all. Our company needs to change from this model. We need to reflect on, and adapt to, the needs of our customers. Among those needs are increase business class seating and more connections in the sporting world. I'm glad to say we're making progress in our goal of focusing on the customer, not on the balance sheet."

More specifically, Ceniana gained slots, which are times that aircraft are allowed to take off and land, at several airports in these regions. Included in them are Bastion Fairways International Airport, in Bastion, Eura, one of the largest airports in the region; several other airports in Eura, including some in Directus, Spartangrad, Brigham, and Holdenburg, some of Eura's largest cities. In nearby New Gelderland, also in Terranea, Cenian has gained slots at the airports in Lexington and Nassau Bay, the upcoming site of the Olympics. In Vermark, a rising economic and commercial power, Ceniana gained rights to fly to Videnhagen as well as operate domestic and foreign services to several other cities within the region. Indeed, the Rushmori routes have already proven popular with the Baptism of Fire in Eura and Valladares attracting Gelderlish fans, and Ceniana is betting that the Olympics in New Gelderland and Electrum will boost its traffic to those areas as well. In Atlantian Oceania, Jansberg, Semarland ought to prove a popular destination for the carrier, as should Geneva, Valschloss, Ennesau, and Ingolstadt, gateways to the skiing resorts of Transalpine Republic. The carrier should benefit from its new routes to these cities, considering their proximity to regional powerhouses Quebec and Krytenia and the high discretionary income and good economies of both.

For Xina Iesan, the deal with South Seas Soda marks a major turning point in the airline's relationship with Astyrian companies. Previously, the large and burgeoning drinks sector, which has profitable (if labor- and time-consuming) deliveries, had previously relied upon ViZionair, Ceniana's larger (but older and less mobile) rival. Iesan is very happy to change the status quo in that direction and hopes that this contract with South Seas will allow Ceniana to get contracts with other major Astyrian companies. "When a journalist asked Willie Sutton why he robbed banks, he said, 'Because that's where the money is.' The money is in Astyria, and I'm glad that we're able to expand our operations in Astyria with this groundbreaking contract with South Seas Soda," Iesan expressed in an interview with LTA Matrix. "The soda segment is a very profitable and lucrative area where Ceniana has a lot of room to expand. Right now, I like to think of this move cracking open the door to even more profitable and lucrative contracts." While the exact agreement with South Seas has yet to be disclosed, aviation analysts believe that Ceniana will be the sole carrier for South Seas products, cutting ViZionair out of the equation altogether. Ceniana also secured slots at the only airport in the tourist paradise of Costa Aluria, the home of South Seas Soda, where it believes it will have a large presence from Blackhelm Confederacy and Symphonian tourists, both fairly well-off groups.

Xina Iesan has also decided to swing a lot of the airline's focus towards cargo, which can be a lucrative, if overlooked, segment of the airline world. Among the items in Iesan's shift to a more cargo-friendly airline was the creation of a new cargo airline, Ceniana Cargo. It will have a fleet of twelve Celestar aircraft and will be responsible for handling a lot of the cargo that Ceniana routes, including manufactured products, mail, packages, and other pallets and cargo items (especially larger cargo items) that need shipping by air. "I believe that our cargo division will allow us to be more responsible to our customers' cargo needs," Iesan continued in our interview with her. "We now have the option of transporting cargo more efficiently and more cheaply, and we're now also able to transport more voluminous cargo instead of limiting our cargo to that which will fit in our passenger planes' holds." The cargo airline will have hubs in Cenial International Airport, Her Majesty's Airport in New London, Dungeyland to cover its Astyrian bases, and Bastion Fairways International Airport to be able to capitalize on the Rushmori segment of the world. Iesan hopes that her company will be able to steal market share from ViZionair, Royal Kingtonian, and other competitors because of its wide geographic reach and access to a wide variety of markets. "Ceniana is well positioned to create a world-spanning cargo airline that will help our customers transport our products quickly and cheaply," Iesan said.

Ceniana is one of the largest aviation companies in the world, with over 300 destinations and $2 billion in quarterly revenue. Its CEO, Xina Iesan, recently took the helm of the company several months ago from the embattled CEO Olmas Epia, who was responsible for an expansion charge out of the Social Liberal Union that left Ceniana with a bigger share of the market and more revenue and profit but also left the company a bit disorganized and overstretched. Iesan has hoped to turn the company around, reducing expenses, reorganizing the company, streamlining routes, and focusing the company on the customers rather on profit. "I have said many times in the past that our company needs to grow efficiently and smartly to become the company that we want to be," Iesan told LTA Matrix. Ceniana has still been expanding under Iesan, albeit at a much slower and more selective pace than her predecessor Epia. Rumor within the company has it, through an unnamed source, that Ceniana could be close to buying its rival company Air Electrum. Iesan would neither confirm or deny the rumor, although saying she would run any merger much better than Ceniana's previous mergers with Global Wings Airlines and ViZionites Airline conducted under Epia. Ceniana is also rumored to be expanding south in Atlantian Oceania into Krytenia, as well as expanding its presence within Esportiva. The Games of the X Olympiad, meanwhile, recently named Ceniana one of the official airline partners of the games, allowing Ceniana to perhaps gain a publicity boost and revenue boost from travelers to the Olympics.

Eseph Lorian, an aviation analyst, thinks that the expansion will help to create a larger revenue and profit stream for the company. "Rushmore, Esportiva, and Atlantian Oceania are, very generally, affluent regions, and especially Astyria. People in these regions have a lot of discretionary income for leisure travel - to sporting events, most generally - and, in Astyria, the great connectivity means that there's a lot of business travel there. Business passengers are cash cows for any airline, and they're willing to pay for good seats - on their company's teat, of course," Lorian opined. On the cargo airline, Lorian expressed that it could be lucrative and provide an extra source of revenue and profit, but that the airline cargo business can have its pitfalls. "Air cargo is probably a little less volatile and more profitable than regular passenger travel. That being said, there's a general increase in capacity of cargo space, and companies are doing a lot less manufacturing in developing nations and bringing that closer to home. Because of this, Ceniana, at the moment, may not be most positioned to have the best profit of the cargo airlines, but they'll definitely take market share and revenue from ViZionair if that's their goal. And in the long run, a cargo airline will be very profitable and a little bit more stable, helping Ceniana to diversify its business practices, always a good thing in any company."

[Farfadillis]

The Kamikaze
A site dedicated to Farf football

National Team Section

First Half: Performance Review
submitted just now

We've been having an unusually comfortable qualifying phase. We're five points clear of the second-placed team, Crystal Empire, who are bound to drop a few points cause they won't stay so in-form forever. Super-Llamaland are a point behind them and they're our biggest threat. But with six points to spare we can breathe light. Except we're playing like shit, obviously. Offensively, at least. Please, Pekarik, rotate a bit against the lower-ranked teams. Maybe you'll find someone trying to force his way into the first team (like, I don't know, Fôrté flipping Wínrôuge).

STEFFAN PEKARIK

4

MANAGER
Pekarik's not a man that likes to take risks. If he's chosen to play as offensively as any Farf manager would, it's only because he's realized it's the least risky way for us to play. He's still Polarian at heart, and that's got to change if we are to move forward. I'm not calling for his head, naturally, as he's given us a lot. Like the recent AOCAF Cup win. In which we played extremely well. Let's not get reactionary, guys. We're still qualifying comfortably and all. Let's just hope he figures the team out by the time the finals come around. Otherwise, we're screwed.

RÔHJ TZÂÍN

6

GOALKEEPER
Tzâín's been pretty solid. He's definitely not been tested much as our defense has been surprisingly good, but he never blundered. I expect him to continue playing well this second half of qualifying. There isn't much to say here, to be honest.

CLETO MATA

7

LEFT (WING)BACK
Cleto's been a huge threat when attacking, and extremely solid (by his standards) when defending. At times he looks like any other midfielder when trying to split the opponent's defense apart. Pekarik giving him more positional freedom paid dividends last AOCAF Cup, and it's paying dividends now. However, I'm worried how a better team than the ones we've been facing would go about facing him. His over-aggressive style works against teams worse than ours, but would it collapse catastrophically against, say, Pasarga?

IVAKTÖR BÂRR

9

CENTRE BACK
We've never ever ever had such a solid centreback. Never ever. Not like our team's been around for particularly long, but we've got to enjoy Ivaktör while we can. Once he retires, we'll start missing him very much. Pickton's looking like a nice replacement and all, but I just can't see him winning so many aerial challenges, tackling so brutally but fairly, making so many interceptions and inspiring fear in so many adversaries. I know I wouldn't pick a fight with him.

DRÊ RÖÈNÔÙJÝÂ

7

RIGHT (WING)BACK
Drê's definitely benefited from having gotten his starting spot just as Pekarik changed tactics. He would've been decidedly mediocre with a more defensive approach, but as a bombarding wingback of sorts, he's been truly impressive. In a team so old, it's refreshing to see a twenty-four-year-old with such vigor and viciousness going forward. He's talented and he sure can cross the ball, even if Fuego's not been very good at doing anything with that. Fôx and him seem to have an almost-telepathic understanding of each other, too, which makes the two of them that much more deadly.

YURPÁ MÊNDÊLÖÍNDÇÊL

7

(DEFENSIVE) CENTRE MIDFIELDER
Yurpá's no longer the most important man in defense, sure. That's to be expected. I'm actually surprised he can still run so much. His performances have been pretty good despite his age, and I'm just glad he'll get one more chance to win the World Cup, as impossible as it may sound. This is the last we're seeing of Mêndêlöíndçêl. The end of an era approaches.

ALEX TERÁN

7

(OFFENSIVE) CENTRE MIDFIELDER
Alex has been highly irregular. Some matches, like against Super-Llamaland, he was uncontrollable. Some others he'd misplace most passes. Terán is still Terán, though, and he shouldn't be substituted even when he's underperforming badly. If there's one player whose performance can fluctuate frustratingly during a match, it's him. One moment you see him misplacing a pass, the other you see him setting Risko up flawlessly.

MÂÁS FÔX

7

RIGHT (MIDFIELDER/WINGER)
Mâás has always been a very regular player. Just ask the Eurans. This qualifiers, he's been a seven very regularly. Not exactly game-breaking, but almost always contributed with something. I think an in-form Mâás is what this team is missing. If he hits his stride, you can expect us to be outside contenders for the World Cup. A World Cup with peak Kâí-Fôx? Sign me up.

RÜBÉÃN TÔR

7

LEFT (MIDFIELDER/WINGER)
Rübéãn's been continuing his AOCAF Cup form. He waited patiently for his starting spot, and he's making the most out of the opportunity Steffan gave him. It's not like there were many other options. Iñaki's definitely a tier below him, and Jê is just too young. Tôr's also contributed to making the defense more solid, though not much, as you would expect. He's truly a running machine.

MATÍAS DELAFUENTE

4

OFFENSIVE MIDFIELDER
Unlike last qualifiers, when Matías was possibly our best player, he's been doing terribly lately. His move to the Euraleague might've damaged his form a bit. He was definitely happy in Buyan, as fucked up as the country was. He definitely did well at Holdenberg - he was chosen the second-best signing of the season. However, it seems the change of leagues has altered something about him. He wasn't good last AOCAF Cup, either. I still think he's our best offensive midfielder but, if he keeps this kind of performances up, he should definitely make way for Wínrôuge to finally grab his inevitable starting spot in the national team.

RISKO KÂÍ

10

STRIKER
He may not be as good as Laborious Hawk, but Risko's not making us miss Friekder. Following a mouth-watering performance in the regional tournament, Risko's been carrying us extremely hard. It really makes me reminisce of World Cup 66 to World Cup 69 Friekder Dandalleion. Dandalleion and Kâí are simply the best players we've ever had. We should enjoy Risko as much as we enjoyed Friekder. The mind-blowing part about all of this is that he's playing out of position. It really makes me wonder how things would've turned out if he'd played as a striker his whole career.

JOSÉ TORINO FUEGO

4

STRIKER
Fuego's the other underperforming Faroleran. In his case, we're absolutely fucked. Delafuente at least has a talented substitute in Fôrté. However, we've got no striker even close to Fuego's true skill. He's been a four, yeah, but would you expect Nofzaleiné or Cornelio to play like we know he can? The youngster's, well, young, and Horacio's just not as good anymore. Some have been demanding that Fuego's ex-teammate Carlos Abrigo be given the nod, but let's face it: what Farf striker is better than José? Risko and only Risko. José, we need you to step up your game. We really need it. Maybe even more than Mâás hitting his stride.

FÔRTÉ WÍNRÔUGE

8

OFFENSIVE MIDFIELDER
Fôrté's the only substitute that I feel has been worth mentioning. He sure has saved our asses a few times, and he's shown he's here to stay. Friekder Dandalleion, Risko Kâí and now Fôrté Wínrôuge. How does that sound? Delafuente and Terán should definitely look to improve their performances if they don't want this hungry Rulandese overtaking them by the time the finals come around. I can't see both of them hanging on until the AOCAF Cup, though. Specially not with the break-out season Fôrté's been having with Mâ Âlâmëómë.

The second half approaches. We've got some tough fixtures ahead, like Super-Llamaland and Crystal Empire on the road. Nothing's guaranteed, but even playing as badly as we have been, I fancy our chances. Only time will tell, though. Let's just cross our fingers. I can only hope our dip in form has been due to Ichi Tuzzio's tragic incident, and that the team will be over it after the break.

[Nova Anglicana]

Lions Top Group At Halfway Point

Hayden Landers, Nova Anglican Football Today

First Half Review

Shtiar Bakal 0-4 Nova Anglicana

An away game against a lower side as their first game of qualifying was no trouble for the Lions. Jimmy Kelly, Emmanuel Moga, and Casey Bowman put the ball in the back of the net in the first half and the Lions more or less dominated play. Mathieu Garçon scored a nice goal later in the second half to put the finishing touches on it. The game was notable for Alec Chapin's two assists in his first start for his country in a World Cup qualifier and Cory Henry's thrilling but frustrating play in the second half. Henry looks like an asset, but he's very wild right now. The home match to start the second half should be a good time to see some more substitutes as well.

Nova Anglicana 0-0 Timbermunich

A very uninspiring performance from the Lions at home. Timbermunich employs a heavily-attacking strategy and they largely kept the Lions pinned back in their own end. The Lumberjacks took 18 shots, recorded 12 corners, and retained 57% possession. Kudos to Casey Bowman and Aaron Bowen for holding things down in front of Thomas Barnett, who himself did an excellent job marshaling his troops from the net. Jimmy Kelly just hung around the midfield stripe for most of this game and Jake Rhodes was similarly uninvolved on defense. Give credit to Moga for showing his defensive chops, and Chapin and Parker for backtracking solidly. Offense and possession need to be much better in the second half, especially in Timbermunich's grim fastness, the Laubholz-Stadion.

Maretta 0-4 Nova Anglicana

The last time the Lions saw Maretta, they smashed five goals past them in a game they absolutely had to win in order to make the WC72 playoffs. The next meeting wasn't all that different. It took the Lions a little while to get started, as the home side definitely had the advantage for the first twenty minutes. But a 23rd minute goal off of a corner kick from Aaron Bowen, a 26th minute rocket from Cesar Martínez's foot off of a free kick, and a cheeky 30th minute chip from Jimmy Kelly took the wind right out of Maretta's sails. The three-goals-in-seven-minutes flurry buried the Lions' opponents. In the 65th minute, Rolf Pitre played a nice one-two with Emmanuel Moga and tapped the ball in for the final margin.

Nova Anglicana 3-0 San Llera

Even at home, some were worried about San Llera. The 108th-ranked side were 2-0-1 and had battled Nephara to a one-goal loss at home. But, as it turned out, those fears were unfounded. A clinical 3-0 victory saw the Lions rack up 56% possession, complete more passes, and in general look more well-organized than their foes. Jimmy Kelly scored his third goal of qualifying in just the 7th minute, and he later assisted Jake Rhodes for a nice shot that beat the keeper over to the far post in the 28th minute. Chapin picked up another assist in the 70th minute, finding the veteran fullback Bradley Lancaster for a header in the box. 3-1-0 were the Lions, but headed to Nephara.

Nephara 1–2 Nova Anglicana

Wow. That's all I can say about this game. The Lions trailed 1-0 for about sixty minutes, going behind on a brilliant Nepharan set piece in the 15th minute. But in the 75th minute, with time winding down and Sook Jin Lee nearly pulling his hair out in frustration, the old reliable Chris Hodges delivered. He's come up with big goals in big games before, and this was no different. Hodges is good, but we haven't seen him blast a left-footed volley past the keeper from ten yards out yet, I don't think. A tip of the cap to Chris Parker's perfectly placed ball. For the winner, it was (who else?) Emmanuel Moga. Moga tried to dazzle Daniel Kruse with some fancy footwork, but the Firewood City centre-half was having none of it. Moga tried a different tack and charged at Hadrian Belfast, the captain of the side. Desperate times make men do desperate things, but the younger Moga was just quick enough to get himself an opening to curl the ball past Diandra Ballard with less than two minutes remaining in the match. Cormorants will be out for blood in the second half.

Nova Anglicana 2–1 Mangetsujima

It was a substitute lineup that took on Mangetsujima at home, and it definitely showed. Derrick Cole got the start in goal, Bradley Lancaster and Josh Owens took up the fullback spots, Brendan Cook played DM, Brendan McBride replaced Chris Parker on the right wing, and Kyle Fleming got to experiment as an AM for a bit. Rolf Pitre started up front, and the Lions never really got settled in. For the first forty-five minutes, they looked uncomfortable and unorganized, like a team that hadn't played much together. Which they really hadn't, I suppose. Even though Mangetsujima wasn't really threatening, scattered boos echoed across the pitch as the Lions slopped their way to a 0-0 scoreline at the half. Could the Lions really drop two points at home to this team? Kyle Fleming found Pitre with a nice through ball in the 49th minute to somewhat dispel those fears, but Mangetsujima struck back with a ball that deflected off of Aaron Bowen and spun past Cole in the 70th. Fortunately, McBride's cross found a slashing Jake Rhodes, and he put the game to bed in the the 75th with a nice scoring strike. The Lions then ran out the clock on a less-than-satisfying win.

Second Half Preview

5-1-0 is phenomenal, and probably the best the Lions could hope for at this point. They just didn't know it would be a draw against Timbermunich and a win against Nephara. They caught a break when Timbermunich drew San Llera away and then watched in astonishment as the Lumberjacks upended the Cormorants 1-0. With a two-point lead on Timbermunich, and sitting four points ahead of Nephara, the Lions probably feel pretty good right now. But it is a dangerous road head. The Lions get Shtiar Bakal at home in what should be a simple game, but then they have to travel to Timbermunich and San Llera in the second half. Nephara in Kelly Park will be no picnic either. The fact of the matter is, the top three teams in this group are so close that one or two losses could make the difference. A 4-0-2 second half might not be enough for second place, and almost assuredly won't be good enough for first place. The Lions have to play disciplined football and keep their heads above water. Beat the teams you're supposed to beat, and try to get at least one against the good teams. Do that and they might just stand a chance of returning to the World Cup.


Josh Owens (foreground) and Derrick Cole (background) during a recent Lions training session

[Eura]

Sinclair strikes to sink Szavoda
Entertaining rivalry stoked further by dramatic late win
Simon Banning reports from Bastion Arena

EURA - 2
Jones 67
Sinclair 88

SZAVODA - 1
Stefanovic 74

Not so long ago, Eura were not a major footballing power. They didn't participate in UICA tournaments, instead playing friendlies and Endemian and Terranean tournaments. One of the other non-WCC nations they played in the old days of Lionel Carlston and his chums were Szavoda, our large but sparsely populated northern neighbour. Though Euran-Szavodan relations have never been particularly cosy, the shared nuisance of sharing borders with Sameba, Szavoda's dependence on the Euran economy and relatively few wars having happened between them (compared to Eura's other neighbours) has made us at least amicable towards each other. As a result the participation of Szavoda in WCC football is a pleasant surprise for Eura and has now produced three World Cup qualifying matches between the two. Szavoda famously nicked a 0-0 draw against Eura during the 71st tournament qualifiers before being pasted in Bastion, but this time they traveled south and put up a determined performance and even scored a quality goal, courtesy of the creativity of Ulsa's new midfielder Branimir Milic, by far their best player. However Eura would win the day in the end perhaps less comfortably than they would have hoped thanks to their own magic man, the irresistible Craig Sinclair.

Not too surprisingly, there's been a significant Euran influence in Szavoda's recent success, with the team having reached remarkable heights in the last year under new manager Louis Watson, Eura's former head coach and then short lived manager. Watson, who was unfortunate enough to have to deal with the fallout of the collapse of Kelly Sporadic's reign, was dismissed fairly unceremoniously after a disastrous exit from World Cup 70 at the group stage. He had a hard group containing the Holy Empire and Valanora, but the defeat to one hit wonder HopNation was considered a national embarrassment at the time, and the final straw after a stuttering qualification campaign that involved two defeats to Nova Anglicana. Watson took a break from the game before controversially taking up the Szavoda job with financial backing from a consortium, SzaTec International, to professionalise the FA north of the border. In the time since he has done a fantastic job, instilling discipline and co-ordination into a team considered rank amateurs not long ago, and was now seeking to snatch points off his so far unstoppable motherland, to sustain Szavoda's unlikely charge for the playoff spot or even top spot in the group.

Against his old employers in Bastion, Watson came to get a result, not just to put in a creditable performance. Watson's players to came with a determined mindset, looking for a famous result at a leviathan of a stadium that all Szavodan's had seen on television a million times - and a few of them were probably thinking a good performance might attract interest from Gold League scouts too. His team was more defensive than their usual counterattacking but not overly defensive side, with a deep back four in front of the towering goalkeeper Nemanja Petrovic. Pero Milovanovic sat in a very deep defensive midfield position with four other midfielders in front of him - two in the centre and one playing fairly centrally on each side. One of them was Branimir Milic, the energetic key player of the team and Ulsa's unusual signing from Bronze League side Moors. Up front was the pacey Mijo Nikazic, unusually playing alone as a focal point for counterattacking opportunities. Eura, who had now won five consecutive games, were not messing about either and Steve Thompson, who used to captain Eura when Watson was the third most senior staff member, played a full strength side. Waller in goal as usual, a back four of Churchilli, Gilbert, Watson and Rogers, who was just about preferred to Ainsworth as Thompson anticipated Rogers would be better suited to matching the pace of Nikazic. The usual midfield started with neither Hunter or Rose pushing Blackthorn out of his spot again, and Campbell led the line, looking to improve his already brilliant scoring record.

The atmosphere was buzzing in Bastion in a way it had not for any of the other qualifiers there so far, with the Euran fans on a high after five straight wins and in their usual loud mood, while Szavoda had brought a big visiting group of 15,000 fans who were singing their hearts out. The national anthems were boomed out with a good response from the stands, though Watson had to be careful not to sing Eura's like he used to. He was well received by the home fans, perhaps unsurprisingly given how sympathetic public opinion was to his situation when he briefly managed the national team. Now though he was firmly out of the Euran camp and there would be no favours for old friends. Eura started the game with intensity and drive like they had every game of this qualifying phase, something that maybe has been missing in these games in the past. Campbell was the danger man of the moment in the eyes of Szavoda and he showed why in the early stages, wriggling past the stocky Radmilo Novak to drill an opportunistic shot from 15 yards just over the bar in the 7th minute, assisted by Hughes. Hughes decided to go for glory with the next opportunity that came by, curling a well placed shot towards the right hand corner from just outside of the box, but Petrovic did well to shuffle over and palm it away. As the clock hit fifteen minutes, Petrovic was beaten by a looping Craig Gilbert header from a corner at the far post, but to Eura's frustration (and the relief of the visitors) the ball struck the crossbar and flew out for a goal kick.

Eura had dominated the early stages but it was more a case of Szavda defending well off the ball rather than being rolled over. What was crucial was that they pressed Eura on the ball when their midfielders or fullbacks dithered or were isolated, to spring the counter attack trap, and they reminded the home side that they were no pushovers with such pressure in the 23rd minute. Blackthorn, so often the picture of composure when passing in the past, made a costly error as he waited too long to pass out wide to Sinclair as Eura were on the front foot, and lost the ball to the hard working Srecko Brekovic. Brekovic stormed into the centre circle, an imposing presence, and though Spartan backtracked well to close him down, he was able to release the ball out to Milic to his left. Milic is so often the shining light for this otherwise limited team, and every time he got on the ball there was feverish excitement among the away fans. Now he had a chance to create something, with plenty of space and only two Euran defenders back to deal with him and Nikazic, who was bursting away into space. Milic cut the retreating Churchilli out of the game with a feint before thumping a beautifully weighted ball down the pitch ahead of Nikazic, who Rogers kept up with but was unable to tackle. Nikazic had a real chance, being 25 yards from goal with only Craig Gilbert in front of him. However Gilbert has been one of the most consistent centrebacks in the world for at least four or five years and raw pace alone would not be enough against him. Nikazic over elaborated as he tried to dribble past the Directus defender, before Rogers eventually came in and snatched the ball away.

Szavoda didn't actually have a shot on target until the 34th minute, when Isijia Jovanovic took a hopeful pop from 30 yards that went straight to Waller after a move broke down. However this won't have bothered Watson too much because the sting had been taken out of Eura somewhat, who were now struggling to create clear cut chances. Campbell appeared to finally be having an off day, having started well before fading after twenty minutes or so. Sutton's pace and finishing were going to waste against a packed defence and Hughes was being cut out of the game by Pero Milovanovic, while Blackthorn and Spartan were playing well but unable to really create anything. Only Sinclair appeared to be an ever present danger, lurking on the near right like a blue-gold Euran falcon waiting to pounce. He did have a go in the 42nd minute from outside of the box when given some space, but it went well wide of the goal. Szavoda had done the job they intended and finally had a clear cut chance as Nikazic broke away in first half stoppage time and got a shot off, which was saved well by Waller down to his right. The resulting corner was well dealt with by Eura, who were looking increasingly well drilled at defending set pieces these days, which is helpful against physically imposing teams like Szavoda. At half time the visitors decided not to change anything, but Eura took decisive action. Blackthorn the workhorse was replaced by the in form Hunter, who seemed to be finding goals every time he touched the ball at the moment. In the first minute of the second half it briefly appeared that he had done it again, rounding the goalkeeper after some smart interplay on the edge of the box, but Sutton's pass through had come just after Hunter drifted offside, leading to the goal being disallowed as he began to celebrate.

The home team now looked convincingly on top but were still frustrated in their search for a goal as various players took hopeful efforts from outside of the box, while Campbell failed to get an opening. Eventually Eura went for plan B, substituting Campbell surprisingly early (in the 57th minute) to replace him with the dominant aerial presence of Lofty Jones, a 6ft 9in titan. The tallest registered player in Euraleague history, Jones is already a cult hero in the mould of Eura's last successful gargantuan striker Scott Daley, though he was four inches shorter. Jones had not actually scored many goals at international level so far, but there is more to his game than just his head and he showed that soon after coming on. Spartan had a free kick out wide that came in and achieved little, being headed away, only for Sutton to take ownership of the ball 30 yards from goal. His only option was to pass it to Jones, who had drifted out of the box in the lackadaisical jog that he always seems to be running. Jones, seemingly from nowhere, took the ball and spun forcefully around Tim Lukic, rounding him far too easily before prodding a flawless pass through two defenders in for Lewis Hughes, who found himself with the ball in the box, onside and with only the keeper to beat. Hughes was not having a good game though, his performance being summed up nicely by the pathetic shot he fired straight at the stunned Petrovic, who was rooted to the one spot Hughes happened to shoot at with the goal gaping.

Louis Watson began to look agitated on the sideline as he realised his team was 25 minutes from a legendary clean sheet, but the impact of Jones was already taking its toll and soon produced a goal that pierced the bubble of frustration and tension that now filled the stadium with anxiety. It was a very simple and well orchestrated goal that put much more use to the physical stature of Jones. Spartan might have had a quiet game but he showed in the 67th minute that while form is temporary, class is permanent. He had drifted out to the left as Sutton came inside and received the ball from the winger in a seemingly hopeless position on the byline with Slavko Stefanovic about to drive him off the pitch. Stefanovic, worn out by his efforts during the game, threw himself into a reckless slide tackle that Spartan dodged easily with a skillful dink of the ball and shift to the right. Without taking a touch he whipped the ball into the box with his right foot, finding Jones who simply powered the ball down with his forehead from eight yards and into the back of the net. It was far too easy for Eura and this sudden breakthrough prompted changes as Szavoda reverted to their normal formation, subbing off the ineffectual Jovanovic for target man Zar Mihailovic, who in other circumstances would start every game. He would not be joining his usual partner Nikazic up front; the striker had played well but had also ran himself ragged, and was replaced by the veteran Graeme Stefanovic. It was a dream come true for Stefanovic, who grew up in Bastion with half-Euran lineage and was a Bastion fan as a boy, watching the mighty Sam Needle dispatch teams with ease.

It would have seemed absurd a few years ago, but this childhood Bastion fan was about to score in their stadium in front of a global television audience. Yet it was Milic, the workhorse of the midfield who had been the channel through which all of Szavoda's efforts came, who would orchestrate the equaliser against the run of play. Mihailovic did well to head down a ball forward from the back as the away side made a rare venture forward; but it was Milic who took the ball 25 yards from goal, brushed off a challenge from Hunter, drove into the box while Mihailovic took Gilbert's attention and then, from the inside right edge of the box, chipped in a magnificent dinked cross that came back over the target man, Rogers and Gilbert, and fell to Stefanovic. He was ten yards from goal and the ball didn't have much energy in it as it dipped down, but the forward had no time to let it drop for the volley as Churchilli charged in to close down the shot from the side. He threw himself at the ball, a diving header high off the ground, just about heading it cleanly enough for it to glide into the top left hand corner beyond the dive of Waller. It was a brilliant goal and a fantastic moment for Szavoda. The away fans simply erupted into a state of absolute pandemonium. Szavoda had a spell of five minutes where suddenly they looked like winning as for the first time in qualifying, with the possible exception of a few minutes against Norrehavn, Eura panicked and began to make all sorts of mistakes. Milic had a glorious near miss, a dipping volley from 20 yards that only just went on to the roof of the net and had beaten Waller.

International football is not a kind mistress, however, and there would be no fairy tale ending here. On the 82nd minute Watson dropped the target man into a midfield role and left Stefanovic to press alone up front as he brought on another defender for the exhausted Milic, who got a standing ovation, as the away side played for the draw. There was not long to go now; whistles emanated from the away support as they anxiously awaited what would be the greatest result in their history, not quite a shock on the level of some of the results inflicted on other first seeds recently such as Pasarga, but nevertheless a shock. Eura's fans roared the team on but were clearly extremely anxious now. It was nail biting stuff as Eura pushed up and threw on a second striker, George Davies, for Rogers. Stefanovic was not a fast player, making the chances of a breakaway winner virtually zero, and therefore it was worth the risk of committing everyone forward. Szavoda seemed to be intercepting everything and even the long ball game wasn't quite coming off, with Jones getting frustrated. It did not matter. All it took to avoid disaster was one moment of world class quality, one reminder of why this is one of the best teams in the world. Sinclair has not been the star of the show so far in qualifying, as Campbell has taken all the plaudits. Even so it seemed to be inevitable that Sinclair would be the man to create something out of nothing, and he did. Spartan attempted a first touch through ball in to Davies in the box but the ball was blocked and rebounded away to Sinclair, 35 yards from goal, slightly to the right of the centre of the pitch. He could have passed it out to Churchilli on the right for another cross, or dribbled forward, or something, anything to create one last opportunity.

Unfortunately for Szavoda, Ulsa's star player, the teammate of Milic, was determined to win this game by himself if he had to. It was a no nonsense goal, something right out of the dreams of any young Euran schoolboy around the country. He controlled the ball with his left foot, rolled it forward as he looked up to realise nobody was immediately closing down, and just as Brekovic cottoned on to what he was about to do and charged at him, Sinclair let rip with his right foot. The shot flew as straight and seemingly as fast as a bullet, ripping through the air from just over 30 yards. Petrovic shuffled slightly to his right but in reality he stood no chance and you can't blame him for not having dived for the ball. It punched the top left hand corner of the net like a train hitting a wall, an unstoppable force hitting a more overwhelmingly immovable object - they rope nets well in this country. Bastion descended into celebratory anarchy in a way that we possibly haven't seen at the Arena for a few years despite all the great moments we have had, perhaps since the Champions Cup final or the last time Eura had to win here to be sure of qualification. Last minute winners have seemed so rare for Eura in recent years, but this match was different, like a flashback to a more reckless and exciting time. Thompson celebrated six out of six, Szavoda and Watson were gutted but had reason to be proud of themselves, and Craig Sinclair had reasserted himself as nothing short of a Euran hero.

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[San Jose Guayabal]

MATCHDAY 8 RP CUTOFF - GROUPS 1-10

Because one can't trust a lot about trying to RP near cutoff time and finishing it on time!

[Audioslavia]

Rami Niblick's shin buzzed. His shin doesn't usually buzz. He put it down to some kind of outside interference. He reached down and retrieved his smartphone from the pocket of his trousers, swiped his pattern in to unlock it, and then recommenced his shit. A deep 'splop' sound reverberated round the toilet cubicle, briefly drowning out the sound of the hotel bar beyond the door to the gents', which opened and closed at that moment.

"You have 1,812 new emails" read the tab at the top of the screen. Rami, remembering it had been at 1,811 earlier, glanced at the name of the sender, and saw only 'god@cathairherald.as' before the tab disappeared.

Jeremy. What on earth could he want?

Rami tapped on the email icon and brought up his inbox. The top message was, indeed, marked 'Jeremy Jaffacake'. The title was, simply, 'H.T.K.R.?'

Rami clicked 'open'. He probably should have known better. Filling the screen now was a poorly photoshopped picture of himself and a goat in a particular pose. It was semi-famous for being fake, or at least it had been a long time ago. Rami tutted, rolled his eyes, put his phone to sleep and reached for a handful of toilet paper.

Outside the cubicle, the door opened and closed.

Rami finished his business and returned to his table. He had allowed himself one pre-bedtime whisky, neat, of course, the night before his Krytenia team flew out from Ousevale to some hellhole in Sameba for the national team's all-important qualifier. To his surprise, his almost-finished neat whisky was suddenly looking a lot more full than he remembered.

There was also another glass. Another whisky. This one with ice. On the rocks. With a straw. And an umbrella.

Rami blinked.

"Come out. Wherever you are, come out"

Rami's eyes skirted the room, analysing every face, every coat, every set of arms and legs.

Suddenly, the tablecloth twitched. An old Audioslavian man began to crawl out from under the table.

"Tah dah"

"F***** hell, how long have you been there?"

"I had to dive in quickly. You left the toilet quicker than I expected."

Rami looked up. A dozen of the bar's patrons were looking over, frowning at the scene of an old man crawling out from beneath another old man's table.

"Is this some bizarre plan to discredit me upon my retirement?" said Rami, folding his arms. Jeremy grabbed a chair and groaned as he dragged his body into it. "Sounds like you're due for retirement too."

"It's half of it" replied Jeremy, "'Villainous hack seen cavorting with beloved Krytenian football manager'. I can see the headlines now.

"Hilarious" said Rami, with the tone of voice that suggested he wasn't at all enhilarioused. "And the goat? You know, of course, that everybody and their mother has seen that photo and knows its a fake. Unlike the one of you and that Karditani street-trotter"

"Everyone knows they're both fakes" said Jeremy. "A photo of a soon-to-be-retired dickballs sitting in a toilet cubicle with his trousers round his ankles while holding a picture of a goat, though, that one's brand new"

Rami blinked, and sighed.

"Really?". Jeremy took his phone from his pocket and opened up the gallery. Sure enough, there was a colour photo from just five minutes earlier. Rami shook his head and sighed again. "Nobody will believe you. Nobody ever believes you"

"They might"

"They won't"

"Well, okay, they won't" said Jeremy, sipping on his whisky-with-everything. "They'll still ask at least one question about goats in every interview until the day you retire, though, which would get tiring very quickly. It might tarnish your reputation somewhat."

"What did I do to deserve this?" asked Rami, folding his arms.

"Eternal respect" said Jeremy. "We once had a long conversation about 'respect'. I know how you feel about the word, the idea. You're all about 'reputation', I seem to remember. A word you'd never catch me saying."

"You've used it twice in the last twenty seconds"

"You can't prove that. Unless you still secretly record everything I s.. ah"

Rami unrolled his jacket sleeve by an inch or so to reveal his own phone. The voice-recorder app was active.
"That's a habit I've never stopped. Slipped it in there as you were coming out from under the table"

"Said the actress to the bishop" said Jeremy. "Oh well"

"Oh well indeed. Seriously though, Jeremy, why are you here? Why are you taking photos of me on the toilet and sending me emails of goats and generally being a kind of ham-fisted satire of yourself? I thought we'd agreed we were stuck at a stalemate for eternity. Like two professional noughts-and-crosses players, if such a thing exists. We're both too clued-in. You can't get one over on me any more, I can't get one over on you, even if I tried, which I don't, because I never have, because it's always *you* creating trouble for *yourself*.

Jeremy exhaled deeply, puffing out his cheeks and leaning back into his chair.

"You won't retire, you know"

"I will"

"You can't"

"I can. You can't stop me"

"I don't want to stop you"

"Good"

"It's just, you know."

"What?"

"You can't just retire... like this. There needs to be a 'bang', a puff of smoke, a 'that's all folks'. You're Rami Niblick, for christ's sake. The least you could do is publicly deny fornicating with a goat, just for old time's sake"

"No"

"That wasn't a question" replied Jeremy. Rami looked Jeremy in the eye. He saw a mischevous glint. "Maybe this whole whisky-table-toilet-goat thing was a decoy tactic. Maybe the wheels are already in motion. Maybe I've made you stay here in this bar for longer than you should have, allowing my accomplices to get to work."

"This is Jeremy talk for 'i've paid a cat to shit in your bed' isn't it?"

"No"

"It is, isn't it?"

"It isn't a bed"

"But it is a cat and the shit of said cat"

"I hope so" replied Jeremy, "I didn't pay good money for a cat that's just gonna shit some other cat's shit". Jeremy downed the rest of his whisky and stood up.
"Especially as this particular cat is metaphorical. Allegorical. I forget which."

Jeremy grinned at Rami.

"What have you done this time?"

"You'll see..."