World Cup 71 - RP Thread

[Northern Sunrise Islands]

Season 6, Chapter 3: Matrix

While Sunrise and Mikoto were at the dinner.



Southie Sunrise: Back off. Westie's favorite show started.
Westie Sunrise: The Adventures of Mr. Bunny is my favowit show!
Southie Sunrise: Exactly. So enough of playing football on that Dream. Turn it off, Purity.
Lower Sunrise: Don't turn it off, Purity! We'll just stop when I get a win over him!
East Sunrise: Might as well waste the entire day, you know I'm talented.
Lower Sunrise: Yeah, right. I'm going to win against you and your face will be down and-
Southie Sunrise: Sheesh, sister. Didn't know you were so competitive.

Central and Upper Sunrise peek from outside via the window.

Central Sunrise: She is like that ever since our mining days.
Upper Sunrise: Indeed. Never a peaceful moment.
Lower Sunrise: Whatever. Press Start, let's go.
Southie Sunrise: Oh, no, you won't!
Westie Sunrise: I want to watch my cartoon!
Southie Sunrise: Yes! Now let her watch her little TV show and let me go ou- I mean, let her do what she wants!
Purity: Enough!

The ghost of Purity materialized outside of the console, crossing her arms.

Purity: You have been playing for a while now. Now let her watch the Rabbit!
Westie Sunrise: Yay!
Lower Sunrise: ...*sigh*...

Lower Sunrise then started to cry, loudly yelling, before starting to run to the room she shared with her brothers and sisters.

Southie Sunrise: ...huh. What have you told her, East?
East Sunrise: I swear, I said nothing!
Southie Sunrise: Yo, you two!

Central and Upper Sunrise peeked up.

Central Sunrise: She also does that an awful regularly.
Upper Sunrise: Yeah, she'll stop eventually.
Central Sunrise: But she's going to be upset with you for a while.
Southie Sunrise: She always storm for no reason like that?
Upper Sunrise: Precisely.
East Sunrise: Reminds of you and father, don'cha think?
Westie Sunrise: Big Brother East just made fun of you, Sister Southie. o3o

The house's door opened, as the group that had dinner last episode was finally returning home.

Mikoto: I have to congratulate you later for such a wonderful dinner.
Sunrise: Yeah... I mean, 'twas a pleasure...
Mikoto: Hahah. Thanks~
Dainer: Got to say, that was the best pizza I had in a while.
Sarian: I dunno... Still feel like it was lacking something.
Ytt: Meat, probs.
Dainer: Vegetarian Pizza will always be superior. The quicker you realize that, the better.

The group was stopped on their tracks once they heard a loud cry from one of the rooms.

Sunrise: Oh, Arceus Damn It. Westie?
Westie Sunrise: I'm here! Woosh Woosh Woosh!

Westie leaped towards Sarian, who held her high and started to run around, causing Westie to continue emulating helicopter sounds. Meanwhile, both Central and Upper Sunrise walked to the group from outside of the house.

Ytt: If it wasn't Westie, then who's crying like that?
Upper Sunrise: I believe we can answer that.
Central Sunrise: Your daughter, Southie, yelled at Lower Sunrise. Eventually, she started to cry once she noticed no one took her part.
Sunrise: That's typical Southie.
Southie Sunrise: I'm here and I'm not crying. Ass.
Sunrise: Then you do realize that there was another TV Westie could watch her show?
Westie Sunrise: Told you it was a flawed pwan... I mean woosh woosh woosh.
Southie Sunrise: Well, now that you mentioned it-
Sunrise: Go talk with your sister. Now.
Southie Sunrise: But I-
Mikoto: NOW.
Southie Sunrise: Fine.

Southie walked, unhappily, towards their room. There, she found not a brash Lower Sunrise, but a heavy crying, Duskull plushy-hugging Lower Sunrise.

Lower Sunrise: WHAT DO YOU WANT!?
Southie Sunrise: I want to talk.
Lower Sunrise: GO AWAY! YOU HAD WHAT YOU WANTED, NO NEED TO PESTER ME EVEN MORE!
Southie Sunrise: Look, I'm sorry, Lower. Didn't want you to storm like that or anything.
Lower Sunrise: ...why didn't you let us play?
Southie Sunrise: It's just...
Lower Sunrise: ...your brother? You wanted to piss him off?
Southie Sunrise: Y-yes, but-
Lower Sunrise: ...Why?
Southie Sunrise: That's what brothers do, Lower.
Lower Sunrise: ...not from where I'm from.
Southie Sunrise: What?
Lower Sunrise: It may not seem like it, but Central, Upper and I? We were family ever since we started our job at the other realm... Maybe I took my freedoms a bit too far with them, but still. They treat me better than you did at that moment. Without even complaining. But I never acted like you. Think about it.

Lower Sunrise turned her back to her sister, falling asleep eventually. Southie simply left the house towards the Futurnian building, more specifically, the bar. There, she found a chubby old man, preparing some drinks and mostly a crowd of different people, mostly background characters and others waiting for their speaking role debut.

Cilnotuz: Ah, wajah baru! (Ah, a new face!)
Jeck: Huh... Down again, Southie?
Southie Sunrise: ...Maybe.
Esten: Well, if you're not under, then you'd be dancing, κορίτσι? (girl)
Southie Sunrise: ...OK, I'm not well. And I don't speak that.
Esten: It's glorious ελληνικά! (greek)
Southie Sunrise: Whatever.
Jeck: What took you down anyways?
Southie Sunrise: Just... some heavy words from Lower.
Jeck: Ah, your new sister?
Quebec: Seems attractive, if she's like you.
Southie Sunrise: Bug off.
Cilnotuz: Maaf, dia seorang yang berat sedikit dari minum selepas perkara Hoki. (Sorry, he's a bit heavy from drinking after the Hockey thing.)
Southie Sunrise: I noticed.
Jeck: Look, there's one thing mom Cyborg Dutchia always said, "You need to learn from criticism.".
Cilnotuz: Ya! Tetapi pada masa yang sama, mengapa tidak anda mempunyai minuman atau dua? (Yes! But on the meantime, why don't you have a drink or two?)
Quebec: I can feel the étoile- irc... *fall*

Elpi was summoned from the shadows, retrieving Quebec out to the nursery.

Cilnotuz: Walaupun saya cadangkan anda tidak minum banyak. Perkara-perkara ini adalah sakit yang jika anda keterlaluan. (Though I'd suggest you not to drink a lot. These things are a pain if you overdo.)

[Zenic]

“Well, so far so good, I suppose,” Sanders said to Minister of Sports Zimmel III.

The two of them were seated in a café in downtown New Citium, having lunch together in the brief free time they had found. Sanders was in a slightly good mood as the squad was at the top of Group 17 and had the momentum going into the next game against the highest ranked opponent in the group, the Blouman Empire. He hadn’t been in a good mood in a while since the rumors of his possible forced exit became public. Fortunately, it gave him an excuse to bunker himself down in his office in order to study his opponents as a way to try and save his job.

It had paid off with a fantastic performance against Ceni and a workman-like performance against Khalifa Arabia. He now hoped his plan for the Blouman Empire would work just as well as the others and further extend their momentum and dominance within the group. Zimmel was incredibly ecstatic as he was on the side of keeping Sanders for a longer time and the early success this cycle seemed to be proving his thought camp was correct.

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Michael: those were great performances because of your planning, your training, your management. We’re incredibly lucky to have you here and I felt that you should know that,” replied Zimmel. He proceeded to hand Sanders a manila folder. Sanders opened it to look at the contents: the plane ticket to the Blouman Empire, a reservation at a hotel, a list of names and scouting reports for Erbsted & Calcoon as well as Octistine. “Dmitri dropped these off before he left with the team to the Blouman Empire. The list is the names of key players on for Erbsted & Calcoon and Octinstine, in case you were wondering.” Sanders nodded as he looked over everything as quickly as possible. Once satisfied, he closed the folder and stood up. “Well then, I need to be in the Blouman Empire in a couple of hours so I’ll be going now. Thanks for the meal. Take care.”

“Likewise, Michael and good luck,” Zimmel said, returning to his unfinished meal as Sanders made his way to his flight for the incredibly important match that could determine his future.

[Cosumar]

NOTE: This was supposed to be posted after MD1, but emergency circumstances prevented me from getting to my computer yesterday. Posting it now instead, along with today's match report in the next post.

Cosumar cruise past Garifunya to begin World Cup 71 campaign

KALDUKOSIC, COSUMAR - The last time the men of the Cosumarite National Team were on the pitch together for a meaningful match, they were raising the Cup of Harmony 3rd Place Trophy. As much as that Cup of Harmony run meant to this team and ignited its country, most of us were left with a slight bitter aftertaste once we finished celebrating. Once you've tasted the wine of World Cup success, everything else tastes like cheap liquor in comparison. Now, after what seemed like only a few weeks later, the cycle is restarting from scratch once again. New hopes, new dreams, new team.

Former Cosumar captain Abel Scarloff formally announced his retirement from domestic and international football this week, as did longtime defender Endyl Paru. Ceremonies were held and new faces have filled in to replace them. Talented young stars like Frazan Va'Goshal and Everett Seymour shine a beacon of hope for the future, merging with remaining old-timers like Paaron Petrov and Tae Woo Miyori. Could this be the perfect mix, the perfect team to finally return Cosumar to the World Cup?

So far, so good. After a hard-fought 1-0 friendly defeat at defending champion Osarius, Cosumar obliterated Gloriax and Estenia in home friendlies by a combined score of 7-4. Then, last night, the Dragons welcomed Group 15 rival Garifunya to the Fiefdom for the first match of World Cup 71 Qualifying. Their welcoming gift? A sound 2-0 defeat, a master class in suffocating defense.

Right after Leviathan Arena raised the Cup of Harmony 3rd Place banner and played one last video tribute to Abel Scarloff, the Dragons went right back to business as usual.

They dominated defensively. They infuriated captain Paaron Petrov (and the 90,000 on hand) by squandering some great opportunities in the first half. But they then found a way to secure their deserved three points in the second half, beating 116th ranked Garifunya in a game that could've been more lopsided than it was.

Anders Engström buried a quick tap-in when defenders Ousmane Okoye and Kodjoe Adeoye failed to clear Frazan Va'Goshal's cross in the 55th minute. Petrov blasted a high-velocity volley home in the 81st minute, snuffing out hope for a Garifunyan side that had just started to mount some promising pressure.

Jakk Winterfyll earned the shutout with just one save in his first World Cup start. It was surely a memorable night for the Exton goalkeeper, though he was seldom called into action. It was a one-sided performance by the Dragons, with the back four channeling the spirit of Endyl Paru, who watched in a suit from the sidelines.

"It's just the first game, but I thought we were solid," defender Arndu Farsgaard said. "One of our goals is to be this good for the whole competition, against every opponent. We have some great attacking players that take most of the burden off of us on most nights. We're just looking forward to building on this win and keeping it rolling."

Cosumar
16 shots (7 on-target)
56% Possession
4 corners, 2 offsides
14 fouls, 1 yellow card (Merchison)
Garifunya
6 shots (1 on-target)
44% Possession
2 corners, 2 offsides
15 fouls, 2 yellow cards (Ledeboer, Diallou)

Cosumar - 2
55' (Engström)
81' (Petrov)
Garifunya - 0
No scorers

Though it was nostalgic seeing Scarloff (second all-time in assists for Cosumar) and Paru (top five all-time in caps) join former teammates on the pitch pre-match, neither of them had appeared in Cosumarite uniform since the World Cup 69 cycle. The team that took the last Cup of Harmony by storm remains largely intact. Veteran center back Kirum Mortonsson, 30, was snubbed in favor of young buck Everett Seymour. New blood has been infused into the attacking line in the form of Frazan Va'Goshal. Some of the bench depth has changed. But Farris Crowley has re-invigorated the squad without losing any continuity of the chemistry and momentum from World Cup 70. Guys like Sur Arora and Jon-Perohlin Nodtveit, though no longer starting, will still play key roles.

This continuity was evident late in the second half against Garifunya. Despite dominating the flow of the match, the Cosumarites found themselves in danger of surrendering an equalizer and losing two points. They never lost their composure, pulling together and grinding out the win.

"It's the same team, for the most part," Crowley said. "They're an experienced group, and they know how to play together. You can believe me when I say that they never had any doubt as to the outcome of this match."

The Dragons dominated possession and didn't allow a Garifunya shot to reach their net in the first half. Winterfyll's only save came in the 75th minute with an easy parry of Assane Diakite's strike from the top of the box. But Cosumar's inability to finish numerous scoring chances left Petrov livid. Engström notably had a point-blank chance in front of goal in the 41st minute, but sent it over the crossbar - a rare moment of carelessness from the experienced scorer. Ace Newman then had a chance to punch in a wide-open cross across the face of goal at the far post, but mistimed his sliding redirection.

"I thought it was just a matter of time before we scored a goal," Crowley said. "We put them in a position where any team would tire out a good bit because they had to do a lot of running back and defending in the first half. I think on a day where we're finishing chances better we might have gotten three or four goals."

Cosumar used three substitutions in the game. Ole Öhman came on for Engström on the left wing in the 70th minute. Crowley sent Arora on for Ace Newman in the 80th minute when he was desperate for a second goal to ice the game. A minute later, Petrov was able to score in part because of the attention Arora drew from defenders. Nodtveit came in for Farsgaard at center back in the 83rd minute after the goal.

Thank you for reading The Cosumarite Courier's exclusive World Cup 71 Coverage. Follow us on Twitter @TheCourier or subscribe to our website (TheCourier.cos) to receive daily updates and analysis of Cosumar's progress in the tournament.


Trey Olychick
Staff Writer

---

Cosumar's World Cup 71 Journey
Pre-Qual Friendly: Cosumar 4-2 Gloriax
Pre-Qual Friendly: Osarius 1-0 Cosumar
Pre-Qual Friendly: Cosumar 3-2 Estenia
Matchday 1: Cosumar 2-0 Garifunya
Matchday 2: Cosumar vs. Milchama
Matchday 3: Sarrbia vs. Cosumar
Matchday 4: Cosumar vs. Sameba
Matchday 5: Royalsoldiers vs. Cosumar
Matchday 6: Cosumar vs. Audioslavia
Matchday 7: Affiliated South Califan Sprawls vs. Cosumar
Mid-Qual Friendlies: TBA
Matchday 8: Garifunya vs. Cosumar
Matchday 9: Milchama vs. Cosumar
Matchday 10: Cosumar vs. Sarrbia
Matchday 11: Sameba vs. Cosumar
Matchday 12: Cosumar vs. Royalsoldiers
Matchday 13: Audioslavia vs. Cosumar
Matchday 14: Cosumar vs. Affiliated South Califan Sprawls
Blue: Draw
Green: Victory
Red: Defeat

Cosumar Goal-Scorers Tally (2 GF)
Anders Engström (1)
Paaron Petrov (1)

Cosumar Assists Tally
Frazan Va'Goshal (1)
Everett Seymour (1)
Vareza Na'Noni (1)

[Cosumar]

Cosumar survive late Milchama rally to top Group 15 with six points

Cosumar sought to turn the three points they won from Garifunya into six against visiting Milchama in Matchday 2.

It was a clash of two nations with extensive World Cup histories, though the Dragons have fared better than the 87th-ranked Milchamans in recent years. The last time Milchama came to Cosumar was MD7 of World Cup 57, and Cosumar won 3-1 en route to winning the group. Thirteen World Cups later, the red and blue-clad sides took to Leviathan Arena once again....and the result was not much different. The Dragons won behind three goals from three different players while Milchama scored twice, once early in the match and once in stoppage time.

Anders Engström opened the scoring with his second goal of Qualifying after six minutes. Jukka Lindroos whipped in a nice-looking cross from the flank and Engström leaped to connect his left foot to it, powerfully volleying it past the keeper from 8 yards out. But the visitors levelled before the 19-minute mark. A Milchama midfielder sliced through the Cosumarite defense all the way to the baseline before dinking it inside the far post at a tight angle.

Cosumar stepped it up after the break, and took the lead through Vareza Na'Noni's blast under the crossbar on 50 minutes. Paaron Petrov did well to set him up with a great one-on-one look to the right of the penalty spot, and the Red Star Severny midfielder slammed it home. The Dragons went 3-1 up thanks to Frazan Va'Goshal's first ever World Cup goal just before the hour mark. The Galatica winger charged down the left flank on a furious counter, making a few defenders miss, before turning inside and rifling one into the top-right corner.

With raucous support from the Leviathan Arena crowd, the Cosumarites were in control from there until a nervous final few minutes. A Milchama winger pulled a goal back in the 91st minute and Jakk Winterfyll was forced to tip out a scary-looking header off a corner kick that would've equalized it at the last gasp.

“It was a very important win,” Farris Crowley said. “It was a difficult moment there late, but we handled it and got a big save from Jakk, and got the win for these fans. It was a great performance overall. Milchama is one of the better teams in this group and a win against them was never something we took for granted.”

Cosumar used three substitutions in the game. Petri Hansen came on for Frazan Va'Goshal on the right wing in the 64th minute. Crowley switched center forwards, Sur Arora for Ace Newman, in the 76th minute. Second-choice left back Ben Seppanen subbed in 78 minutes along to give Jukka Lindroos some rest. It was Seppanen's first international appearance.

Cosumar
20 shots (7 on-target)
61% Possession, 88% pass accuracy
6 corners, 2 offsides
14 fouls, 1 yellow card (Seymour)
Milchama
10 shots (5 on-target)
39% Possession, 81% pass accuracy
4 corners, 6 offsides
7 fouls, 0 yellow cards

Cosumar - 3
6' (Engström)
50' (Na'Noni)
59' (Va'Goshal)
Milchama - 2
18'
91'

After the events of Matchday 2, Cosumar is the only remaining perfect 2-0-0 team in Group 15. Garifunya, after being bottled up tightly by the Dragons, spewed out five goals worth of offense against Royalsoldiers in a convincing 5-2 win, which puts them in 2nd ahead of 3rd place Milchama (also 1-0-1). The titans of the group, 3rd ranked former champions Audioslavia, aren't exactly striking fear into the hearts of their groupmates yet. Lee Sharp's team sits in 6th after two scoreless draws: at #193 Sarrbia and at home against #66 Sameba.

For a squad filled with so much top-level talent, they have been a bit toothless thus far. There is little doubt that Audioslavia will figure things out eventually, but if our neighbors keep struggling and we keep winning, the Dragons could really solidify their position at the top of the group early on.

On Matchday 3, Team Cosumar will travel to Rushmore to take on the tropical archipelago of Sarrbia. Though they are more known for their beach soccer and succulent coconuts, Sarrbia do have a pedigree in the World Cup - having qualified for the 56th and 57th editions. Cosumar's last trip to Sarrbia in World Cup 59 resulted in a scoreless draw, though the Dragons won the reverse fixture 4-2. We will be the favorite to win this meeting as well, probably by multiple goals, though Audioslavia made the Palmettos' defense look rather formidable. We will find out if Sarrbia's perplexing result against the group favorites was a fluke or a sign of a surprise challenger in Group 15.

Most Cosumarites will probably be familiar with Sarrbia's starting winger Dmytro Kurosawa. He plays for AC Holmenkollen in our Harlighet Ligan, and is a former teammate of Dragons substitute full back Ben Seppanen. Sarrbian defender Patrick Banderas also plays his club ball here in Cosumar with Sekundar Ligan side Samaj FC. Domestic connections aside, the main player to watch out for against Sarrbia is veteran center forward Charlotte Thompson - their captain, leading scorer and sole remaining player from the last time these two nations clashed.

Thank you for reading The Cosumarite Courier's exclusive World Cup 71 Coverage. Follow us on Twitter @TheCourier or subscribe to our website (TheCourier.cos) to receive daily updates and analysis of Cosumar's progress in the tournament.


Trey Olychick
Staff Writer

---

Cosumar's World Cup 71 Journey
Pre-Qual Friendly: Cosumar 4-2 Gloriax
Pre-Qual Friendly: Osarius 1-0 Cosumar
Pre-Qual Friendly: Cosumar 3-2 Estenia
Matchday 1: Cosumar 2-0 Garifunya
Matchday 2: Cosumar 3-2 Milchama
Matchday 3: Sarrbia vs. Cosumar
Matchday 4: Cosumar vs. Sameba
Matchday 5: Royalsoldiers vs. Cosumar
Matchday 6: Cosumar vs. Audioslavia
Matchday 7: Affiliated South Califan Sprawls vs. Cosumar
Mid-Qual Friendlies: TBA
Matchday 8: Garifunya vs. Cosumar
Matchday 9: Milchama vs. Cosumar
Matchday 10: Cosumar vs. Sarrbia
Matchday 11: Sameba vs. Cosumar
Matchday 12: Cosumar vs. Royalsoldiers
Matchday 13: Audioslavia vs. Cosumar
Matchday 14: Cosumar vs. Affiliated South Califan Sprawls
Blue: Draw
Green: Victory
Red: Defeat

Cosumar Goal-Scorers Tally (5 GF)
Anders Engström (2)
Paaron Petrov (1)
Vareza Na'Noni (1)
Frazan Va'Goshal (1)

Cosumar Assists Tally
Frazan Va'Goshal (1)
Everett Seymour (1)
Vareza Na'Noni (1)
Jukka Lindroos (1)
Paaron Petrov (1)
Felix Merchison (1)

[Nova Anglicana]

Lions to Tangle With Les Oiseaux

Hayden Landers, Nova Anglican Football Today

Well, a home draw against the top seed's not bad. Unified Sunrise Islands are an absolute juggernaut and nearly guaranteed to make the World Cup every year. So just to stay with them is an accomplishment. That's not to say that I and many other fans didn't go straight from relieved to greedy when Chris Hodges knocked in a goal in the 81st minute to tie the score. We'd scored on the top seed, we were at home, and we had the momentum. Is it such a sin to want your team to press forward for the win, even if it comes at the risk of a loss? It didn't end up that way, and the Lions scored a nice satisfactory draw to keep them tied with USI, Kalumba, and Omerica atop the group with four points. Now the Lions will travel for the first time in qualifying, heading to Omerica (formerly the Saint James Islands), the 93rd-ranked team in the world.

Les Oiseaux are a tough side, having already tussled with 54th-ranked Kalumba at home, holding them to draw, to say nothing of a 4-1 away demolishing of a Peace Republic side that looks like their first World Cup qualifying experience will be a true nightmare. Omerica caused plenty of trouble in qualifying group 1 last World Cup cycle, holding Nephara to a draw and defeating Quebec and Yttribia on their way to 27 points and fourth place in the group. Had they not dropped points against Arvenia and suffered a catastrophic loss to Pays d'en Haut, they might well have been in contention on the last matchday.

Les Oiseaux are unquestionably led by their captain, forward Mikere Raia, who has 28 career goals in 67 caps for his country coming into qualifying. Springs FC tried to sign him back in the day when Omerica was still a young nation on the world footballing stage, but he rejected their offer, choosing to stay with his beloved Uniti Takatori. Springs had to settle for his partner Mani de la Cruz, but de la Cruz struggled in NAFL play, recording just 10 points in 39 appearances over two seasons. His club fate is unknown, but he is certainly no longer with the national team. Raia leads this attacking 4-2-1-3 formation that will test the Lions' disciplined 4-2-3-1 and the new starter Casey Bowman. Fullbacks Felix Kelly and Bradley Lancaster will have to hold back a bit on their bombs up and down the sideline to deal with wide men Jan-Nikläs Rosenkränts (already 16 goals in just 26 appearances before the cup) and George Kostas. However, wingers Chris Parker and Kyle Fleming will be able to take advantage of Les Oiseaux's narrow midfield and really harass the fullbacks Theodoridis and Mason.

Since Omerica isn't much more than a hop, skip, and a jump away from the NAAZE, many Nova Anglican fans have been making their way to this beautiful island nation's capital of Philibicostal for this pivotal Group 12 showdown. Arena de la Rouge will be rocking, but it will be Lions fans making some of that noise. A draw away would not surprise me and would not be a damning indictment of the Lions' play so far, but the Lions need to build on their early momentum and an away win against a team of Les Oiseaux's caliber would certainly keep the ball rolling. If you haven't gotten over to Philibicostal yet, you can tune in on StateSports1 at 21:30 to catch all the action.

[Garifunya]

Economy of Garifunya (taken from Your Guide to Tinpot Dictatorships)

Garifunya's economy is still only semi-industrialized. The largest sector is agriculture, which comprises nearly half of Garifunya's GDP, with the main crops being bananas and coffee. The rich waters around Garifunya make the fishing sector a significant contributor, with the spiny lobster a big hit both domestically and internationally. Garifunya does have a small manufacturing sector, mainly focused on garments and the production of paper. They also export raw materials, like sand and lumber. Tourism is a vital part of the economy, but it is not as strong as it could, due to its poor international reputation.

Agriculture has a strong presence in all three depamaans, but Platanakust, as per its name (Banana Coast) produces the cash crops bananas and coffee and is fairly well off economically. The combination of a strong agricultural sector and Vrijport's status as a major national port make it stronger than any other region except the wijk of Frederykvil. The middle part of the country, Aryncasse, produces almost exclusively subsistence crops like yams, sweet potatoes, cassava, tomatoes and cucumbers. Some farmers grow corn to sell for feed as a way to support their families, but Aryncasse's residents don't generally make much money off of their agricultural endeavors. What money there is to be made in this poor depamaan comes from the lumber industry. Manufacturing is starting to make some inroads to take advantage of some of the excess labour in the 18-24 demographic, but most of Aryncasse's residents live on fewer than $2 a day. Klenzeelaan, with its capital of Mytelbeerg, has some agriculture similar to Platanakust and Aryncasse, but is heavily focused on fishing and a good amount of manufacturing. It gains some tourism money from cruises stopping by on their way around the Caribbean and also exports beach sand and sea salt.

Frederykvil, the center of the government bureaucracy, has a very strong public sector, but is also the center of much foreign investment. Most of the manufacturing (garments, mostly) is located in this city and what direct tourism Garifunya has is centered here, as evidenced by the handful of high-level resorts and the innumerable seedy beachside motels that cater to low-budget tourists such as college students. The black market, which some organizations report makes up as much as ten percent of the Garifunyan economy, is rampant in the capital, with counterfeit goods, currency, and arms comprising the largest sectors of the black market.

[San Jose Guayabal]

www.elnacional.gu/sjg/fiebre_mundialista_tv_stream

You are in: El nacional > SJG > TV Stream > Fiebre Mundialista.

Host: José Correa & Mario Vásquez.
Date: Friday, 2/6/2197, 23:25 - San Salvador time

Welcome and good evening again, my fellow football lovers to a new edition of our program of "Fiebre Mundialista" presented by Urbanística, creating residential alternatives since 2175.

Now we head to the most recent game of the national team, but we had a tough game on the Crystal Empire after having rescued a point where, at least that's better than having left the Crystal Empire with a not so tasty defeat in the World Cup Qualifiers opening, now in the second matchday of the World Cup Qualifiers match at the Estadio Cuscatlán, La Selecta in front of a typical sellout, faced its similar National Team of Itanpavia, a game that was played at 19:30, with a moderately cold, typical of the winter season in San José Guayabal, a game where we observed a good approach, strategic plays and a good domain imposing the home conditions which is good to know that the national team has, because getting a lot of points at home is key to developing a good World Cup Cualifiers.

After the protocol activities, highlighting the involvement of the Symphonic Orchestra of San Salvador for the interpretation of the national anthems of both nations, Itanpavia national team won the toss and chose to keep the ball to start the game, giving the initial touch the player Luiz Roberts, who decided to immediately start on the offensive, giving a pass to his partner Casey Ellis, who lost the ball to an appropriate intervention of the Guayabalense Rudy Valencia, sending the ball to a side kick, a goal which was successful and the ball was taken by Tomasz, who sent him into the hands of Henry Hernández certainly was an early intervention showed momentum players Itanpavia in just a minute of play.

The revolutions from the players of Itanpavia were reduced due to the functions of Sebastián Núñez and Leónidas Bregoo to contain the attacks of the National Team ofItanpavia, caused mainly by Tomasz and Luiz Roberts, these two players were the main part of the offensive for the Itanpavians, where the offensive actions of Itanpavia were channeled but did not give the result they expected based on the actions taken in the first five minutes of the game, which is rather inclined to Itanpavia while SJG seemed to be passive in the game, with no intention of attacking desperately, Looking for the perfect moment to do harm.

The minutes passed and Itanpavia lost the moment they had acquired at the beginning of the game, fifteen minutes, SJG already beginning to took the midfield with interventions from Saucedo and Bregoo, which would stop the engine of the opposing team, to Alx Liszt, who was not longer giving passes as smoothly as he used to and the balls began to be received by more attack-minded players from the Guayabalense side as was the case of Jonathan Faña or Sean Fraser, who had the ball in the three quarters of the field but the timely interventions from Ais Keller and Tom Chacko slowed both Guayabalense strikers, who saw how his desire of scoring goals was contained in front of fans of "La Selecta" while "Los Borrachos del Sur" never stopped their chants in support of the National Team.

From the first twenty minutes, the game began to take shape, the final form that would be the same for almost the rest of the game, San José Guayabal began to take a greater role in the game through they increased their aggressiveness at the offensive zone, Rodolfo Zelaya began therefore to take the lead in the game with a couple of scoring chances, as James Moreira began at twenty-two minutes, where after starting a play with a series of passes, Sean Fraser left Zelaya in optimal position against the goalkeeper Tom Albrunte and the defender Junior, who lost track and toppled Zelaya, leaving the ball to Faña, who was heading for goal but a gentle kick of him wasted a move that could have opened the scoring for San José Guayabal, such opportunities are not always generated and is a pity that has been missed. Itanpavia looked literally locked up their defensive area but had opportunities that could help defend or attack better and who knows how to score a goal.

Zelaya had another opportunity and wasted it at the twenty-seventh minute, this time it was through a rehearsed move during training in a throw, Núñez, gave a pass Fraser and then to Zelaya who dribbled three times and was profiled on the side left the area and finished above the goal of Albrunte to the surprise of fans present, apparently Zelaya was not at its best night, while Tom Albrunte claimed to his defenders its little or no involvement in attacks of SJG against his goal, which looked that was closest to conceding than Itanpavia scoring surprisingly.

Already in thirty minutes, SJG took the baton of the game slightly, before the first ten minutes of surprise caused by Itanpavia, who proposed but failed to generate occasions of danger in goal for Hernández, who was becoming slightly a spectator, the only insider view into the field, having generated dangerous chances only twice in thirty minutes while SJG made four to the goal of Albrunte of which had little or no support for the defense in certain plays that could have turned the game into something more inclined to the balance of SJG, possession remained balanced since Itanpavia, despite its collapse in terms quality after the first fifteen minutes of game kept some possession, being 49% while SJG had majority control of possession for just 51%.

While SJG attacked, Itanpavia pulled out a trump card, performing a counter attack where Tom Chacko gave a pass to his teammate Lewis von Kampf, who from about 40 meters off decided to surprise a Henry Hernández was well ahead of the goal, shot of Kampf got into trouble Hernández, who could do nothing and just watched as the ball crashed against the crossbar and Hernandez commanded the left side to avoid trouble, Tomasz pass to Casey Ellis gave for her finish off and Hernández retained the ball and then perform the clearance.

Hernández made a direct long punt to Zelaya, who had retreated a few feet to look for a ball and achieve a speed run, succeeding until von Kampf fouled on the edge of the area, receiving a yellow card, a large possibility that Zelaya or Núñez would kick and probably score the first goal of the night, Zelaya decided to take the ball and waited for the referee's permission to make the shot, Zelaya kicked the ball with his left foot and sent the ball into the goal to the static look of Albrunte, the fans held out of control (as they always does) and SJG took the lead in the game at the thirty-six minutes of the first half minute.

Already with one goal lead to halftime, SJG decided to calm his intensity and save much of it for the second time, however, Itanpavia and Casey Davis took the ball again in a counterattack but Meyson Salume performed a good intervention, he timely swept and returned the ball, without major chances, but the referee Rímer Salgado, from Valladares, ended the first part of the game, SJG took advantage of a goal in the result, despite having clear goal chances missed before the first thirty minutes.

At halftime of the game, both coaches made urgent changes to their teams, as both squads had things to fix, especially for Itanpavia where a fragile defense could create complications for the team, while SJG needed to extend the lead to well ensure the party and avoid problems during development. Itanpavia replaced Alx Listz with Josiah Bartender to improve the midfield, for it was there that were given with greater recurrence errors by the angle Itanpavia, while on the side of SJG, Mattias Passarelli was replaced by Herbert Sosa, all this It was in order to strengthen the defense of SJG, and thereby avoid any unexpected surprise.

Rimer Salgado began the Second half, SJG started with the ball and attitude change compared to the first half was marked from the beginning, SJG with the intervention of Núñez and Saucedo, generated rapid and fulminant attacks towards the defending Itanpavians, they looked surprised by the speed of attacks by the Guayabalenses. 47 minutes in, Saucedo gave a pass to Bregoo to infiltrate into the area and finish off at the bottom corner of the goal from Tom Albrunte, SJG was placed in a 2-0 just two minutes after the start of the second half, the game certainly was a sudden change of attitude, a slightly timid play in the first half, to a vertical game, where he took the first opportunity generated in the second half.

Itanpavia looked decimated by the early goal in the second half, Albrunte still complaining about the terrible pressure of the players towards SJG attackers, who were improving substantially from the second time, this gave a new dimension perspective about the game, I was really becoming more of a team than the other, all this because one of the defenses was shown and that could not afford certain liberties as Itanpavia a team that was looking to defend the opponent's pressure.

At the mark of the fifty three minutes, Saucedo approached the area, he passes Fraser and von Kampf fouls in the area, the referee penalizes penalty and ejected von Kampf, leaving Itanpavia with only 10 players to face the remaining thirty-seven minutes of play over which he added the referee, Faña stood in front of the ball without hesitation kicked it safe and made it 3-0 for SJG fifty-four minutes into the game, a comfortable lead while the opponent play with one player less, it might seem a solved game but the players refused to give SJG winners because of previous lessons learned from the World Cup 69 was better to be safe than sorry.

SJG replaced Rodolfo Zelaya at the fifty eight minutes, giving entrance to Antonio Rosado, who debuted with senior national team and thus try new players in the national team, Rosado could provide the national team extra support in height , for butting in corner kicks, any help would be accepted at that time, while Casey Ellis of Itanpavia was replaced by Dani Jackson, making a defensive switch all lights and so prevent further collapse of which was already receiving.

But still lacked the cherry on the cake, Antonio Rosado became good pace to the game, giving fairly successful passes, and one of those passes, managed properly attend Saucedo, who finished from the center edge of the area and beat Albrunte, placing well the 4-0 finish for SJG, that would be the end result, but not the game, because we were just sixty-three minutes into the game.

In seventy minutes, SJG played with less intensity, but still generating options danger through counter attacks from Antonio Rosado, who came once face to face with Albrunte, but his shot was contained by the goalkeeper in a timely manner, also include improving Itanpavia defensive after making appropriate substitutions, unfortunately this change came too late, as a 4-0 disadvantage against, there was much more that could be done to rescue the result, unless it is scored a goal with the mere purpose of trying to rescue the goal difference and thus avoid future problems with this tiebreaker.

Óliver Abrego, a player of 1830 Cathair (Audioslavia), made his debut too, when it was replaced by Bregoo seventy-seven minutes into the match and thus two players made their debut for the senior national team. The referee added four minutes, where SJG almost achieved the fifth goal of the game through a Ábrego shot that hit the right goalpost of Albrunte, this left SJG with a good result and a good momentum to face Star United States as visitors in Ilha Recife.

[Darvale]

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YES, THAT DID JUST HAPPEN
Darvale somehow manages to hold off Valanora to a goalless draw on Matchday 2 of the World Cup 71 Qualifiers
Article by Ramon Goldstein | Sports Category | Posted 03/21/2015 at 12:38 am

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DARVALE 0 - 0 VALANORA

Darvale - 3-2-1-4
GK - Jordan Bridges
LB - Wade Schultz
CB - Marlon Fowler
RB - Owen MacGee
LM - Steven Bennett
RM - Cedric Pearson
AM - Callum Ramsey
LW - Ryan Keane
LCS - Spencer Campbell
RCS - Darrell Burns
RW - Philip Downing

Valanora - 3-5-2
GK - Aediron Galadirden
LB - Morlaithan Aldamiel
CB - Rainyardil Toraandal
RB - Revhil Lardireil
LW - Espy va Drake
LM - C'yonan Haerear
AM - Laborious Hawk
RM - Ilglerdiriel Lithvathar
RW - Faeron Soldarian
LCS - Allandren Fresco
RCS - Dûrdur Celetholtinu

Goalscorers

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None

None

The Capital Citadel, New Fairbanks, Darvale - Yes, you did read that right. No, you do not need a pair of glasses. In what was supposed to be an all-out thrashing in every thinkable way for the Darvalian Goats, was instead a tight, goalless draw between Valanora and Darvale. Both Darvalians and Vanorians are equally shocked at the final outcome of the match, and nearly everyone is accrediting manager John Elroy for the Goats' recent success. The Darvalians, even without their regular goalkeeper, Lowell Rose, who was out with an eye injury, still managed to fend off wave upon wave of Vanorian attacks at their nation's national stadium, the Capital Citadel.

After kicking off their World Cup 71 Qualifiers campaign with a 1-2 win away against Karditan (who was ranked 20 spots above the Goats internationally), the Vanorians were welcomed into the Capital Citadel to a roaring crowd of 75,000 Darvalian and Karditani fans, all cheering on their teams. The match started with the Darvalians being immediately pushed back into defense by the Vanorian offense. The first piece of action came in the 20th minute, with the Vanorians in the offense. With Dûrdur Celetholtinu in the lead, the Vanorians managed to sneak through Darvalian central-midfielders Steven Bennett and Cedric Pearson, and take on the three Darvalian defenders at the same time.

The two Vanorian strikers easily outmaneuvered Owen MacGee, Marlon Fowler, and Wade Schultz, but substitute goalkeeper Jordan Bridges managed to somehow catch Dûrdur Celetholtinu's shot. After that, ball possession almost never fell into the hands of the Goats, whose offense was either idling on the other side of the field along with Vanorian goalkeeper Aediron Galadirden, or aiding the Darvalian defense, which had expanded to include central midfielders Steven Bennett and Cedric Pearson, to fend off wave, after wave, after wave of constant attacks by the Vanorians.

The first wave of attacks came in towards the end of the first half. In the 40th minute of the game, the Vanorians were awarded a penalty kick after Vanorian midfielder Ilglerdiriel Lithvathar was fouled by Steven Bennett. Nearly everybody watching the match believed that the goalless stalemate was going to break at that moment, but Darvalians nationwide sighed in relief when Allandren Fresco's shot was blocked by Jordan Bridges. In the 43rd minute, Vanorian winger Espy va Drake managed to slip past Cedric Pearson, Steven Bennett, Owen MacGee, and Marlon Fowler, but fired a shot that skimmed just wide of the left post. Then, just one minute later, Vanorian captain Laborious Hawk fired a quick pass at Dûrdur Celetholtinu, who managed to chip the ball into the back of the net. However, the match officials ruled Celetholtinu offside when he received Hawk's pass, to the disappointment of the thousands of Vanorian fans who had gathered in the Capital Citadel.

The second wave of attacks came in roughly around the 55 minute mark. In the 56th minute, Faeron Soldarian chipped in a cross into the box, where Allandren Fresco nosedived to head the ball into the goal - but it instead found the post. In the 58th minute, Caeltimyonan Haerear fired the ball high in the air from the half-line, attempting to score by shooting the ball above the head of goalkeeper Jordan Bridges. Caeltimyonan's plan nearly worked, but the shot was just barely overshot, and fell a few centimeters off target, landing on top of the net. Then, in the 59th minute, a free kick from Laborious Hawk bounced off the Darvalian goalpost so hard it left a dent in it. A few minutes later in the 63rd minute, Valanora was awarded a second penalty after an involuntary hand ball on the part of Marlon Fowler within the penalty box. However, Allandren Fresco missed yet again, and was met with a wave of booing from his own fans.

The gritty Darvalian defense was hit again and again with constant attacks by Valanora's offense, but managed to hold against the likes of Espy va Drake, Dûrdur Celetholtinu, Allandren Fresco, Laborious Hawk, and others all the way until the 90 minute mark, dropping the jaws of analysts and critics all across the world. Darvale's next opponent will be Pays d'en Haut, who, in 135th place on the KPB rankings, will be hosting the Goats at Parc Angora, Terrebonne. We are expecting the match to be rather tight, although we are looking to pick up another three points to maintain our second position in Group 18.

[Flardania]

Je Dois Continuer à Déplacer, Flardania Defeats Seventeen Syllables on the Road
Français|日本語|English
FBC News | Flardanian Broadcasting Corporation

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Manager Hikaru Kyosuke happy with win

Kitsunes fans chanting at Seventeen Syllables' homefield

Seventeen Syllables- Flardania's second game in the World Cup qualifiers against Seventeen Syllables ended in a 0-3 win. The opposition stadium was once again filled with dedicated Kitsunes fans who traveled to see their team. The the increasingly famous Otaku Army were vocal and became more vocal as the goals came pouring in. Coach Kyosuke was in a good mood following the win.

"....I'm happy with the win which puts us in a good starting spot as we are right now we can't advance out of qualifiers but here in the early going it certainly is possible. Also knowing how this team finished in the Baptism of Fire after beginning with a draw and following with a win, things are looking pretty good. The Otaku Army fan section was providing our players energy and made sure to take over the opposition's homefield. In a match where a win is always important, We succeeded and we are in a workable position. Our next opponents is one we know little about besides drawing with Fallenmark Island which we also drew with. Hopefully we are prepared enough to win or draw. At this point qualify or not a good performance is one of many wins or ties."

The Kitsunes next opponent is the team hailing from El Gregoria in Kairaku, Flardania. Many Flardanians looking forward to a win or draw in this next matchup which will not only advance the Kitsunes into a better position in the group but to also to be in a position to potential upset in the Group and if not qualify at least reach the Cup of Harmony. For those at home games can be seen on Nagatomo Sport Network (NSN) and Saito Broadcast Channel (SBC) in Japanese or French. For those seeking english broadcast check local network listings.

Flardania 3 - 0 Seventeen Syllables
JOSEPH YABUTA (15' 30')                                  
JOSUKE ICHIKAWA (69')

Article by: Timothy Norfolk

[Yttribia]

Dance Along!

As we start getting into da funk of the qualifiers, the nations start getting into the rhythm of the national game with the world's elite. How will your team do?

MATCHDAY THREE CUTOFF

[Walkany]

Starting Lineup
GK:Daniel De Hayu
LB:Luke Poloski
CB:Mark de Man
CB:Fil Gones
RB:Pep Pep Guardiola
CDM:David Lucius
CM:Clint Daniels
CM:Xander Xavi
LW:Chris Rolonda
CFSlatan Irkovic
RW:Eddy Haphazard *Captain

Subs
GK:Shtap de Bull
CB:Fil Nevis
LB:Michael Haywood
CDM:Lucas Shawn
CM:Andre Inestia
RW:Daniel Well-Bit
ST:Leones Cleen

In the Wandelaar Stadio press conference room post game three...

O'nielle:First of all, I would like to say thank you to all of the fans who showed tremendous support. It was an amazing atmosphere! The music, the chants, everything was fantastic. Now, with that aside, we will take your questions.

Press:How does it feel for this to be your first tie at home?

O'nielle:It's great! I mean, it's not a win, but it's a point and against a much stronger opponent. I think part of what kept us going were the fans. They supported us the whole way through, even when it seemed like we were going to lose.

Press:Was this the hardest game the team has played so far?

O'nielle:Yes, in some ways. They are very high ranked, so obviously they're very good. In other ways though it was only a somewhat difficult game. We were not under a great amount of pressure which helped us. It was completely opposite when we played Bloody Bluff in the semifinals of the Coup de Zlatan. There was so much pressure on the team that it caused mistakes against a weaker team. Here, we played a top one-hundred team and we got a decent result because we still have time to fix mistakes.

Press:Chris Rolonda has scored another stoppage time goal to get a result. Is that a good or bad sentiment for the team?

O'nielle:That is very good for the team. It shows that we never surrender! He has a knack for keeping up the (quotation fingers) dramatic pause until the final moments when all seems lost. Of course, he probably wished he had scored before that as well(laughs). Chris is one of our best players right now. He will be crucial to qualifying and if he keeps up this form, he might even become a Walkany Hall of Famer'.

Chris:I don't mean to score like I do. It just kind of happens. Scoring at the end is always a rush of adrenaline because you know you made a difference. When you score early on, it's not as special because the other team can still score once or twice to ruin the day.

Press:The game was slow and some say 'The most boring game to come out of Walkany yet' due to similar play styles. Do you agree with them?

O'nielle:Sometimes you have to be patient. There were four goals today which says maybe it wasn't that slow, but I enjoyed it. The game was almost like chess except very fast paced and with a ball. The pieces were constantly moving, reacting to the other side's pieces. One would be on the defensive and the other on the offensive for a while, then suddenly they would switch! If you look at it like a patience game, I think we did a very, very good job. Especially after Eddy's early goal was cut down to almost nothing when they scored their two. We had to be patient for our last goal and it happened.

Press:Can we expect Jurgen Coeman to be back in for the next game?

O'nielle:Probably(shrugs shoulders). I mean, he looks fine, but his head cut is still tender. Those were Alligator's words actually. I would put him on if Alligator wasn't so worried about him busting it again, which is a legitimate concern, though it's a concern that in my opinion should be left up to the player. It won't matter if he's back or not because De Hayu was on fire tonight! I believe he had nine-

De Hayu:Ten saves, Coach.

O'nielle:Ten saves! See how good he did? Jurgen said that as well. He had been sitting with his friends in the stands behind us and jumped down after the game to congratulate Daniel. It really was an amazing showing. Both of them came and talked to me about who would be the number one and I said we'll see. It's hard to choose between two high class goal keepers.

Press:How is Alex Sorrel's recovery?

O'nielle:Same as before. He's getting better and is expected to be match ready by the second half of qualifiers.

Press:How do you feel about your next away match against the Star United States?

O'nielle:We don't know much about them. Actually, we don't even have directions to their stadium yet(laughs). I think we'll put up a good game though. We have had several high class games so far and I'm expecting us to make more of those.

Eddy:I've spoken with the team about all of our opponents. We know enough about each of them to know what we're getting into. The team is confident that we can at least tie, if not beat, everyone of these teams at least once. Personally, I'm not worried about our next game. I'm excited and anxious, but not worried at all. I think we'll win with a big goal difference. Trust me, Walkany, we can do this.

O'nielle:We'll take one more question before departing.

Press:The WMNT recently had a friendly against Wandelaar University in this stadium and you were able to look at some other possible call-ups to the national team. Who could you possibly be bringing in for the next friendly?

O'nielle:I definitely want to look at the last group again. They were all worthy of being called up. There are many others though so it's not a promise to see those same players. I've had my eye on Floyd Overton, Chess Fabulous, Rodney Mckay, and several others. I am probably going to bring Sean Cono again. He has what it takes to get on the national team. Also, we are trying to set up a B-Team to give players experience before such big competitions. It's hard with such a weak economy though so we'll have to see. Thank you all for your time, and once again thank you fans who showed all of your support. I thoroughly enjoyed the sea of blue today.

[Turori]

KIONAO, TURORI :: It came as little surprise as the Cocoabo Preservation Society's Noa-isinao Wioauoi stepped forward along with a representative from the Tropicorp Artificial Intelligence Team (TAIT) to reveal the second Turori-based calculation segment associated with Tropicorp's "World Cup 71 Madness" Research & Development effort - a study in Predictive Artificial Intelligence.

While the Cocoabo Preservation Society is focused on raising awareness for the plight of a Cocoabo - the native species of the Island Emirate of Turori - and not on Technological Research or Artificial Intelligence innovation, it quickly became clear that at least someone who aligns themselves with the CPS was.

Although it wasn't revealed exactly where; or by whom; the Turori Regional - East calculations would be taking place, it was clear that all the calculations would be published at the grounds of the Cocoabo Preservation Society with each new result being accompanied by a new opportunity to raise awareness - and funding - for Cocoabo research, preservation and education activities.

With the technical mumbo-jumbo at a minimum, and promises of plenty-more Cocoabo related propaganda for days and weeks to come, it was time to reveal the bracket.

It was no surprise that the Island Emirate of Turori was found amongst the Nations in the calculation segment, but perhaps all eyes fixated on the fact that once again there were a pair of pre-primary calculation pairings scheduled.

With the simulation originally advertised as a 68 entrant bracket-style system, those with mathematical prowess were quickly left wondering what exactly the final 'quadrant' of calculations would look like, with there having now been 54 nation slots announced. The 14 remaining nation slots - as based on the announced 68 nation limit - would not leave an even or symmetric bracket formula.

When questions, Wioauoi - clearly just there to talk about Cocoabo's and not Predictive Artificial Intelligence; simply shrugged his shoulders and pointed at the TAIT representative.

Unprepared for the question, the TAIT representative muttered something in a confused tone, once again referencing the Darvale/Darmen scenario that had previously been announced in Cednia Beach. It was later revealed, however, that it was not the Darvale/Darmen situation that was the source of the added pre-primary matches. In fact, one of the research and development test engineers back at TAIT had been experimenting with the code just days before the final test campaign, and had coded a fictional pre-primary stage matchup between Neu Engollon and New Spaam simply to test the systems ability to accept multiple pre-primary stage inputs. While the tests were successful, that specific engineer was out sick the day of the final code lock down, and never commented out that line of code resulting in the extra matches at the 11th seed level, and the expansion of the nation slots from 68 to 72. Luckily for Tropicorp officials, the entries of Neu Engollon and New Spaam were not hard coded, and could be overwritten prior to the distribution of the code base to the four sites.

Elsewise in the Cocoabo Calculation bracket would be all three of the reigning Regional Champion nations of the 'Big 3' regions of sport. Esportiva's reigning champions Buyan would receive the 2 seed behind World Cup Committee chair nation Polar Islandstates while Atlantian Oceania's champion nation Valanora was close behind as a 3 seed. The Rushmori champs, Sargossa, slid in behind defending Cup of Harmony champions Turori as the #5 seed. Reigning Baptism of Fire champions The Hakifao Isles were also in this sector, making it truly the Champions Calculation sector; with the lone absense being reigning World Cup champions Osarius - perhaps an opportunity missed from an organizational standpoint


1x. WC71 Madness Announcement: A Study in Predictive AI
2a. WC71M :: Turori Regional - North :: Initial Bracket
2b. WC71M :: Vilita Regional - West :: Initial Bracket

[Neu Engollon]

"Good Evening, Neu Engollon...and the World! I am your host, Magda Wertauer and you're watching the NETV 7 Sports Update.
The top story on everyone's mind is...How is the Confederacy playing in the World Cup if the Ministry of Athletics never signed up and the Goats never hopped on a plane to go qualify?

I have in the studio with me Joachim Brenz, the Captain of the Mountain Goats, the National football team of Neu Engollon. I will repeat that...In the studio with me. Joachim, how did this last match go and was it a bit of a stunner to find that the decision to withdraw from International association football was repealed?"

"Magda, obviously, the match just finished and yet here I am, right next to you in Burgunden, not in the Polar Islandstates. I can't explain it, other than if the decision to no longer compete in football was changed by the Athletics Ministry, we were not informed and they got a bunch of ringers to play in our place."

"Are you feeling like these 'ringers' are stealing your thunder?"

"Magda...seriously, I'm very confused. There is no thunder to steal. We were all busy playing club matches, or spending time with family, or doing some heavy drinking, or doing all of the above at once...depending on who you talk to on the Goats, when we heard this news today. This is very surreal for us."

"Thank you, Joachim. Now we go live on the phone with a Government analyst from the Surrealist Super Duper Think Tank in Telleursville. Doctor Ricardo Bontalmon. Dr. Bontalmon has helped counsel some of our national sports players who have gone overseas to play ponies, cats, trees, baboons, dragons and vapor clouds, among other such phenomena...Doctor, can you tell us if there is an explanation as to what has happened?"

"Yes, Magda, thank you for having me on, by the way. We have been called in to some emergency Federal Council meetings here in the capital to figure out who the imposters are that are playing as the Goats abroad. Then we have more meetings to figure out how we figured that out. Then we have m-"

"...And, what has the conclusion been?"

"Well, it's rather complicated, but if you recall, the Paradystopians and Communadi, among other Para-commonwealth associated nations, were at some point turned into vast fields and mounds of cheese."

"Well, I think we have heard such tall tales and storybook myths, but I don't know what that has to do with..."

"Of course, bear with me here. I realize that it is quite difficult for the very reality based Confederacy to fathom. So, cheese...They were all turned to cheese. Um...The best hypothesis that we have been able to come up with is that some of the clones, conjured from stolen Neu Engollian DNA, were able to escape the Glorious Commune before it was blasted into cheese by the Monks. They then took on the personas of the Mountain Goats, and have been traveling the multiverse to play association football as our national team, without the knowledge or consent of the Confederacy's Government, or Athletics Ministry. Does that make sense?"

"I'm sorry, I completely tuned out what you just said for some reason. Can you repeat that?"

"Do what now? Repeat whozit? Where am I?"

"Nevermind, Captain Platypus. We'll be back after the break with more rugby scores. Stay tuned...I feel woozy for some reason."

[Jeruselem]

Jeruselem coach Princess Amy and her daughter Laura after losing 2-0 to Boring Paradise ...

Laura: Mum, we're last on the table now with no wins.
Amy: Yes it doesn't look terribly good does it?
Laura: And Jeru FC are winning games
Amy: But we did play the best two teams in our group in the first three games
Laura: Oh yes, Boring Paradiese and Ko-oren
Amy: OK it looks bad but then we don't face them at the end so it looks a lot worse than it is

Laura: We've conceded 6 goals in 3 games. Jeru FC just 3 in comparison.
Amy: But they have not faced the Holy Empire or Maklohi Vai as yet
Laura: I guess it's a bit early to panic
Amy: We're last by one point, so don't panic. 3rd place is on 4 points so it's nothing to worry about. 4th to 7th have 3 points.
Laura: Still, it looks pretty crap.
Amy: Well, someone should start scoring a few goals then

Laura: I only played like five minutes of the game, before someone I got injured.
Amy: Yes I guess faceplanting the grass wasn't an ideal start to the game.
Laura: Yes well, my knee is still bloody sore after that clumsy tackle.
Amy: You seem to be limping around a bit still.
Laura: I'll be OK ... maybe
Amy: The defense seems a bit fragile still

Laura: I think they are bit ... slow
Amy: I move faster than they do, I'm getting into granny age
Laura: I guess scoring goals would help too
Amy: Well, Jeruselem's famed slow start kicks in I guess
Laura: The forwards didn't get much supply today anyway. The ball was trapped on our own half anyway.
Amy: I did noticed the midfield were a bit slow to get forward, and then they lost the ball anyway.

Laura: Boring Paradise sure put pressure on our defense. But we only lost 2-0 ... which isn't too bad
Amy: I guess we have lost games 4-0 before
Laura: I think not playing any friendlies wasn't helpful, we could sorted these problems out earlier
Amy: That's because the clubs release players as late as possible, I don't get time to find these problems out if I can't my team to play friendlies
Laura: Jeru FC don't have that problem, they spend all their time together
Amy: They don't have a choice though, they have to live with each other anyway

Laura: What you think of this new fangled Paleo diet?
Amy: It's load of crap. I wouldn't let my kids eat that sort of diet.
Laura: Well, the cavemen didn't live past 40 anyway. Says a lot about a paleo diet.
Amy: Some of the team do follow this new diet
Laura: I certainly don't endorse it, I don't to limit what I eat
Amy: Each to their own. If you drop dead people and you followed the wrong diet, it's not my fault.

Laura: No milk so ya can't breastfeed your kids
Amy: Yes, well I wonder why women have breasts. It's not for men to stare at.
Laura: They do that, but they do have another function ...
Amy: And I'm not going that activated almond crap either
Laura: Apparently you have to soak them for like 12 hours and roast them
Amy: That's just a total waste of water and energy for just a few nuts

[Nephara]

THE BRINEMOUTH HERALD
DEATH OF A THOUSAND CUTS FOR THE THICK PURPLE LINE
by Theodora Kenway
Nephara: Ballard; Christener, Belfast (c), Marlowe, Stockinger (Cardiff 72'); Brandon; Ashdown (Kestrel 65'), Murdoch; Locke; Quinn, Cathar
Goals: Murdoch 28', Cathar 61'
Taeshan: Yu; Broadway (Testudio 79'), Black, Brahms, Bloomsbury; Guggenheim; Uing, Benoit (Medici 50'); Toulanlan; Pantoum (Yon 87'), McDrew
Goal: McDrew 89'

Nephara won a deserved victory against the Purple Knights in the Gauntlet - part of a new plan to spread Nepharim home fixtures across the entire country, championed by NFA President Markus Rensenbrink who is himself a Northerner - despite a late scare from Xander McDrew. Riether's Cormorants assembled in a diamond midfield and a new plan, built to retain possession and pick apart the tight Taeshani defence, paid dividends with two neat goals against one of the multiverse's toughest back lines.

But it was a game lean of raw excitement - none of the pace or surging runs the Cormorants are renowned for, but relying on superior ability and composure to simply outplay their opponents. "I'd like to reassure the press that this isn't what I would consider our default style," Riether stated after the match. "But it has perhaps showed the multiverse we're a lot more versatile than some give us credit for, and we have some truly skilled talents here."

Indeed, there weren't too many decisive moments besides the goals themselves. But Locke, making a start that might well be rare these days, reminded everyone why he was worth 25 million pounds to Tannenberg with the killer pass through the packed defence that Logan Murdoch surged through the centre to get onto. It was a brutally powerful strike that smashed past everyone to open the scoring.

While Nephara would seemingly fancy themselves to hold onto a clean sheet, their pursuit of a second was, in hindsight, vindicated. Taeshan, forced to open up a little, scorched Ballard's palms with a great shot from Lysander Ying Uing. But bringing on Josmer Medici off the bench was another sign in Taeshan's favour, the cultured Burgess midfielder giving McDrew a peach of a throughball which Ballard had to do fantastically to sweep away from his feet. Largely, though, it was no surprise to see a bit more muscle take centre stage, Locke threading the needle yet again. Quinn ran onto it, unable to score from the angle but able to cut back for Rook Cathar - the East Franz Athletic striker powerfully letting rip on what would've been a tap-in, and the ball threatened to burst the net.

Yu in goal was tested by another couple of good shots from Cathar, and a threatening header from Quinn, but Nephara did finally seem content with their two-goal advantage. But perhaps a little complacent - Medici made the Cormorants pay, drifting out wide and delivering a peach of a cross. Marlowe - who hasn't been in the best form so far - failed to outjump Xander McDrew, who headed powerfully past Ballard. Still, Nephara deserved their victory, and it puts them in a powerful position in the group despite the loss to the Royal Barangay. The Barangay themselves sit level on six points, Taeshan on four after a draw to Maretta in the first round, and it confirms that Nephara can still be in the driving seat of the group.

Perhaps the captain, Hadrian Belfast, said it best. "The match we dropped was the hardest one on paper in the group. We can beat everyone else, we can beat them at home, and at the end of the day? We're gonna put some of those nightmares to rest."

[Brenecia]

'Union doesn't grow players.'
Hah. Laughable. Danielle Rebecca Pendragon had been a regular starter for them since the age of 20, hovering around the setup in her teens. She'd excelled for them in every season since. And now - a little later than expected, thanks in large part to Spitfire and Connolly - she was starting in the blue shirt.
Alright, technically she'd done so in the Liberty Cup, too. Run around Sasha Christener a couple times. Gotten kicked in the shins by Sasha Christener a couple times. She'd not made too thunderous an impact there. But that was basically a friendly, and, hell, they'd won anyway.
She always liked to get the measure of her opposite number early on, who she'd been told was (barring the various accents in his name) Malvo Ev Dogeis. She made sure to stare into his eyes as they shook hands.
The blue shirt felt good on her back.
It was a strong front line. Cullen and Scherzer were still starting, Purrington and Hecate Charing behind. Lons were a fairly defensive side, and despite a low rank after a full-scale overhaul of their entire FA, weren't going to be easy to break down. Especially playing in Brenecia, where a 0-0 draw would suit them just fine.
Yeah, well. Wasn't going to happen.
Pendragon could feel it from the outset. Every game had an... osmosis, and this one just felt from the very beginning as though Brenecia had the number of their red-and-white-clad opponents.
She got that impression in the seventh minute. In the eighth minute, Insedis managed to latch onto a neat forward pass, play a great one-two with Blakan before firing past Fairhall.
Well. Alright, then.
That only meant Lons were going to defend deeper, and more determined. Any team in that situation would do the same. And Pendragon had seen matches five, six, seven years ago, late in the reign of Jon Slatesaver where Brenecia simply wouldn't be able to break through. She knew Brenecia needed someone like her - not her, not yet, but someone like her, a system like this. Not to trash Slatesaver, who had given the Patriots so much respect and stability, but...
She knew that today, the Patriots could win.
The equaliser came in the 11th. The match was being played at Union Park, and fans faithful to Union themselves were cheering whenever she or Branagh or Monroe behind her got a touch of the ball. And when that touch was a goal? Berenger's low cross evaded everyone but Warden, who sliced his clearance to Charing. She could shoot, but it was better to find openings for others, and she found one - an open channel which Pendragon simply ran onto and fired in with her left foot past Timenai. Elation in the home crowd.
Wasn't good enough, of course. They needed another.
Got that in the 18th. Pendragon's cross headed convincingly away by Kalamus, but Purrington took it on the chest, let it drop and lofted it past Timenai from thirty yards.
Lons learned their lesson, but bided their time until striking. Alterd Blakan tested Fairhall with a sharp drive soon afterwards, but Brenecia wasn't done trying to kill them off. They got a third in the 35th, all along the left flank. Pendragon was pushed inside by Ev Dogeis but put a forward ball out to her teammate Branagh - sometimes you just needed that chemistry, that club bond - who crossed it in. The lean Scherzer headed it back to Pendragon who had a split second to decide to chance it with her right... wasn't the cleanest impact, but she watched in wonder as it lofted over a wrong-footed Timenai to reach the net.
Yet again, the crowd erupted - chanting her name, in only her second match for the Patriots! Christ. Hurt to think about, almost. But she knew she deserved this.
4-1 came in stoppage time of the first half. Cullen's cutback, Charing's pass, Scherzer's first-time shot.
The second half was somewhat quieter. Lons seemed caught in a battle of philosophies - while Ev Dogeis and Regesi on the right seemed grimly determined to hold onto the margin as it stood, and defended stoutly, the left side with Dorole (then Serean, brought on in the 55th minute) and Volus were prepared to pull one back. A fine cross from Volus needed Fairhall to come out and claim it, before Serean's forward ball put Kostie through on goal, but at a narrow angle from which he slashed the ball into the side netting.
Cullen made them pay. Serean badly out of position, Purrington gave her yards of space to move in. Picking her time and place, she hit it across to Charing as she ran into the area and the central midfielder made no mistake. 5-1, and the crowd were starting to get delerious. Swain and Given came on soon afterwards.
Enough, surely?
No, Pendragon knew a sixth was coming. Osmosis. That was how games worked. And she knew there was a sixth coming, and she knew she'd scored two so far...
Charing slid a neat pass across to her. Progressing viciously into the box, she was abruptly hauled down by a brutally efficient Ev Dogeis.
So much for that hattrick.
Purrington walked over to the site, glanced at it, and shook her head.
"What d'you mean?" asked Pendragon, rising (wincing) to her feet.
The midfielder leaned closer. "This is shooting distance. You know's well as I fuckin' do I only got one foot, and that ain't a left-footed shot. ... You fancy it?"
"Eh?"
"You've got a decent right peg on you."
Pendragon preened a little. "Pride myself on it."
"Alright, then. I'll... I'll do the janky thing where I run over it-"
"That's just really distracting to everyone. I'll hit the fucking side netting."
"... Good point. Alright, just hoof it." She clapped the Union winger on her shoulder. "Atta girl."
She glanced at the ball. She glanced at the net. She glanced at the increasingly anxious-looking Timenai in the net.
"Fuck it."
She blasted it with her right boot past all the players and into the far corner of the net. Timenai was left with no chance. Brenecia had six.
And when she was taken off, the entire home crowd stood up and applauded - Union fans, Hall fans, southerners, everyone. It was a feeling she'd treasure for the rest of her life.
All that was left was to top it. And with the World Cup beckoning, what better a place for her to leave her mark... ?

[Apox]

Where are they now?

It's been 23 years since Apox pariticipated in our first ever tournament, the Romili Cup. This wasn't entirely authorised by the AFB as such, and therefore, the first tournament which is really considered the first for our National Team, is Baptism of Fire 48.

In this series, we are going to look at the Starting XI from that tournament, and ask, where are they now? and, how did they get there? Some of the players from that team have gone down in history, with long and successful careers, both internationally and domestically, while other have faded from the spotlight. All of them, have interesting stories to tell.

Jarvis Staniels
Position: Goalkeeper
Current Age: 53
National Team Caps: 48
National Team Goals: 0

Jarvis Staniels, aged 31 at the time of the Baptism of Fire, was a key player in the inaugural squad. Undisputed starting goalkeeper, a strong and powerful player, and immensely respected. He was an experienced figure in the domestic scene as well, having played with Gwinevra Barbarians since their refounding following the First Civil War, and therefore was one of the more prepared figures on the team.

He played with the side through their early days, retiring following on from Cup of Harmony 54, aged 37. He was lucky enough to become captain of the team for their second World Cup cycle, one in which they very nearly qualified, being the highest non-qualifier in the whole field of nations, after Dravid Scott had stepped down from the captaincy for a cycle. In total, the national side played 27, won 15, drew 3 and lost 9 games with Staniels as captain, a fine record.

Following on from his retirement, he initially spent nearly a year away from the game, in order to spend more time with his children, and generally take life a little slower after nearly 20 years spent in the fast lane. However, boredom soon got the better of him, and at 38 he still had plenty of life ahead of him, and so he took up a job with APXSports broadcasting corporation, based out of Dwile.

Working originally as a pundit for some international games, he eventually decided that a commentator was more his thing, having always been good with words. Soon, he was one of the most influential commentators in the Apox domestic scene, as well as commentating many of the international matches shown on APXSports. He was given the honour of commentating on Dwile Warriors successful Champions Cup final in 585, seen by him as the pinnacle of his achievements outside the playing of the game.

From time to time, he also competes in charity games, with the most recent one being in 580, with Gwinevra Barbarians All-Stars. He also was registered with amateur club, FC Vargas, on the outskirts of Gwinevra from 570-577, where he would occasionally play games if he was missing the thrill of playing.

Team Sheet against Albaie (scorer in bold)
GK - John Lockwood
RD - Jack Lerryn
CD - Solomon Etezadi
CD - Nicolas St Teath
LD - James Fowey
RM - Alice Monteforth
CM - Armando Quillisi sub Wilfried Lidgley 62'
CM - Zana Ibrox
LM - Kaj Aurora
ST - Tolgus Tregajorran
ST - Adnan Zozula

(Tolgus Tregajorran needs one more goal to equal Dravid Scott's scoring record)

[The Royal Barangay]

This special was aired after the Adoxinia match.

"As The Royal Barangay played its 228th match against Adoxinia, we here at TvRB reminisce the matches the Agilang Dilaw had over the years - from the days as Sangti until now that this team has two World Cup finals appearances and a well furnished record in Campionato Esportiva. Let's look at the statistics first before looking at the most memorable matches of the Agilang Dilaw."

OVERALL RECORD
228 GP, 106 W, 51 D, 71 L, 438 GF, 358 GA - 46.49% WP

First Match: Sangti 0-0 Lzherruskia
The match was played on Estadio Ferdinand Marcos (now StadiumSangti) and the temperatures favored the home team, as the Lzherruskie were not familiar with the hot conditions in Sangti. The Agilang Dilaw however failed to capitalize on this and ended the match on a bore goalless draw. The only note to be taken in that match is the near-slugfest between winger Marvick Sor and Lzherruskie wingback Nikita Andreikin in the 54th minute, with both of them earning red cards for their troubles.

First Goal: Daren Corsiga (Lzherruskia 0-1 Sangti)
The return match at Lzherruskia looked like a slidefest, as heavy downpour ensured a swamp pitch for the players. This helped the Agilang Dilaw mitigate their struggles in cold weather and on the 62nd minute, Daren Corsiga shot from 30 yards giving keeper Denis Rublevsky no chance. This goal gave the Agilang Dilaw its first victory, and Corsiga is still in the national team as of the World Cup 71 qualifiers.

World Cup (+Qualifiers) Performance
105 GP, 49 W, 22 D, 34 L, 209 GF, 171 GA - 46.67% WP
Cup of Harmony Performance
12 GP, 4 W, 3 D, 5 L, 23 GF, 28 GA - 33.33% WP
Campionato Esportiva Performance
41 GP, 21 W, 11 D, 9 L, 71 GF. 49 GA - 51.22% WP

The Agilang Dilaw made their first attempt in qualifying for the World Cup in its 65th edition, which included eventual champions Wight, dark horses Saintland, Karditan and Jedi8246 among others. Then-manager Jerous Manalo had been under pressure for the moment, as early eliminations from both the Market Cup and Baptism of Fire demanded results from the FA Sangti and the fans alike. Sangti had a shot of occupying the playoff spot after victories against Sondstead, Narsora, The Sovan Antithesis and Karditan. However, things turned against them in the second half of qualifiers, as they only made a victory against the last seeds, and sealing Manalo's fate. He would return to club management at Baoyam and replaced by Jaime Faltado for the away game at Karditan.

Faltado's first full qualifying campaign was not too shabby either. Having secured a runners' up finish at the Campionato Esportiva at The Glorious Commune, Faltado and the gang had hopes of sneaking into the 66th World Cup. Entered in a group involving Osarius, Filopines and Aels among others, the Agilang Dilaw struggled at the first half, notching wins against Felinetopia and Partially Blind People, but the second half of the campaign did not pan out well, as a loss to Felinetopia eliminated them from World Cup contention. They would have a better Cup of Harmony campaign as they progressed through the group stage after managing to beat Milchama 3-2.

Their third campaign would prove to be a struggle, as results would not go Faltado's way - he was sacked after tasting defeat against New Sideburn, and was replaced in temporary capacity by his assistant Niccolo Abundo. Abundo himself did not perform well to the standards of the FA Sangti, as he was not shortlisted for the job, despite the Agilang Dilaw beating New Sideburn at the final matchday of the qualifiers. The Agilang Dilaw, now led by Rick Martinez, qualified again for the playoffs of the Cup of Harmony until Super-Llamaland ended their campaign.

After a heartbreaking shootout loss to Paradystopia at the Campionato in Mogya, the Agilang Dilaw were not much fancied for qualification in the 68th edition of the World Cup, particularly after defeats to the better seeded sides The Inevitable Syndicate and Astograth. However, after a breathtaking win over Star United States, the Barangayans swept the second half of the qualifiers, leading to them winning the group. That edition however, did not warrant the group winners an automatic ticket to the World Cup finals; they had to go through the playoffs against fellow group winners, and if they fail that stage, they will have a second chance. That happened against the Vanorians after holding them to a draw in the first leg. They had to prevail against Estope, and eventually punched their ticket with a 4-2 win. They would bow out of their maiden finals appearance no thanks to a 4-3 loss to Bloumany.

With the recent found success, the team expected to have a good run at the Tenth Campionato. However a disastrous campaign culminated with a 4-0 drubbing by New Sideburn ensured the Barangayans' elimination. The qualifying campaign for the 69th World Cup started with a bang however, winning 6 of their first 7 games before losing to Carialus, drawing to other nations and losing again to Bloumany. However, they managed to hang on to a playoff spot, and make their back-to-back appearance thanks to a victory over Gregoryisgodistan over two legs. Despite that, they endured an early exit thanks to losses to the hosts The Holy Empire and The Licentian Isles.

After elimination from the 11th Campionato at the hands of Slembanana, the Agilang Dilaw proceeded to play in the qualifiers without any scheduled friendlies. Drawn into a group involving The Holy Empire and Boring Paradise among others, they managed to rack up wins and hold off the third seeds to enter their third consecutive playoffs. It could have been a third consecutive finals appearance after a first leg victory against HopNation, however, it was over after ninety more minutes and eight goals - albeit six from HopNation. Their performances didn't even merit a Cup of Harmony invite (OOC: I was inactive during these times, so I won't really get an invite either way).

However, there is hope this campaign. Despite another elimination at the hands of Nephara (CE XII), the Agilang Dilaw started their campaign well by defeating the Cormorants, before hitting a brick wall against Taeshan. They managed to crush Adoxinia to get their campaign back on track, and hopefully qualify without the need for playoff matches.

"On our next special, we'll take a look on the Agilang Dilaw's biggest and most painful defeats so far in their history. See you there!"

---

THE ROYAL BARANGAY 4-0 ADOXINIA
Lineup (4-4-2): Llamera 7; Berciles 7, Ang 8 [c], Bayona 7, Oliva 7; Amio 10 (Doquenia 90' NR), Marchadesch 8 (Corook 85' NR), Leron 7, Taguiam 7; Yparraguirre 9, Sampaga 7 (Conanan 62' 8)
Goalscorers: Amio (5', 31', 44'), Yparaguirre (76')

SANGTI - The Agilang Dilaw took this matchday to rest the first squad, and fielded effectively their second stringers and reserves. The defense and the keeper were not challenged at all despite the forward runs the Adoxinians made - the closest their got is a long shot comfortably saved by Amer Llamera. Josue Amio torched the left flank with his brilliant runs and made a solo run towards goal in the fifth minute, the shot itself was magical, as he shot from an almost impossible angle. His second 26 minutes later came from a layoff from Kid Marchadesch, running with the ball near the penalty area, jinked through the Adoxinian backline and drive a curling right footed strike past the keeper. He ensured that he will leave the pitch with the match ball with a carefully timed run to beat the offside trap before beating the rushing keeper. 3-0 it was on half time, and Rick Martinez never saw the need for his regulars to take part in the match.

The second half was nearly the same story, though the Barangayans were suspect to shots off target by Reimond Yparaguirre and substitute Niel Conanan. The Real Tiagosan striker was rewarded with a goal after Amio's timed runs found an open Conanan, and as the Adoxinian defense scrambled to the striker, squared the ball to him for a simple tap-in. Game over it is, and TRB never looked back.

In other Group 3 matches, Palmeria grabbed their first win inflicting a 1-0 defeat to Maretta, while Polaaskan managed to prolong Quakmybush's woes with a 2-1 win. In the group's most important match for this matchday, Nephara overcame Taeshan's pesky defense, winning 2-1. This left Group 3 as follows:

  Group 3                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Polaaskan                                 3    3   0   0     8    4   +4     9
2 The Royal Barangay                        3    2   0   1     8    3   +5     6
3 Nephara                                   3    2   0   1     9    6   +3     6
4 Maretta                                   3    1   1   1     5    3   +2     4
5 Taeshan                                   3    1   1   1     4    4    0     4
6 Quakmybush                                3    1   0   2     5    7   −2     3
7 Palmeria                                  3    1   0   2     2    5   −3     3
8 Adoxinia                                  3    0   0   3     2   11   −9     0

Matchday 4 sees Quakmybush host Taeshan, Adoxinia host Nephara, TRB visit Palmeria and Polaaskan host Maretta. Whether Polaaskan keeps their lead over a charging duo of TRB and Nephara remains to be seen.

[The Inevitable Syndicate]

September 2194, Undisclosed Location

“And calibrate arm C, two ticks to the… left? Yep, that looks about right.”

The lab was abuzz with activity. Men and women in white coats, lanyards, and clipboards were running between two sealed glass cases. One of them had a table of assorted equipment on, ranging from a pocket calculator, through an apple, to a bottle of scotch. The computers around the lab were focused on these cases, and at the back of the room was a locked door that hummed if you got too close.

Around the glass cases were several robotic arms, some of which had pointed ends, pointing inward towards the objects on the case. Electricity crackled between the arms at random intervals, which caused the air to snap and shine brightly, which never failed to startle some of the scientists.

The back door opened occasionally to show engineers hard at work on… something, running diagnostics with complicated pieces of machinery. The door only opened for short periods of time, as members of staff dashed from one room to the other, and each time it opened the engineers had moved positions, testing or fixing something else.

Everyone was hard at work, except for two scientists, who were stationed in the break room, making themselves a cup of coffee. The break room had a view of the lab, and one of them, a short bald man, jabbed his colleague and pointed to one of the glass cases.

“So, you reckon it’s going to work? We’ve never done a whole table before.” he said, taking a sip of coffee.

“I don’t know - we’ve done the apple, and the glasses - but multiple objects? And something as complicated as a calculator? Anything could happen, really.”

A mumbled voice came over the tannoy, muttering something about everyone donning correct safety equipment. The short scientist went over to the side of the window, and drew the blinds.

“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

The tannoy cut to one of the engineers, and his voice echoed through the lab:

“We’re at 20% power. Capping at 45. 25. 28. 30. 35. 40. 42, capping off now… 45. 47. Erm, ladies and gents, something’s a little off here… 56. 63. 79. 91…”

One of the scientists in the lab chimed in on the tannoy. “Okay, Dr. Brightman, can we stop now? I think one of the arms is misaligned anyway, if you could shut it down that’d be fantastic…”

“I can’t, Dr. Arnott. It seems I can’t do anything on my end. Have you locked the control frame? Also, we’re at 256% power…”

A gasp from the lab could be heard in the breakroom.

“256%? But nothing’s happening here. How’s the ground focus, focus team?”

Another voice from the tannoy.

“She’s fine, sir - but why did you send the pulse off at such an angle? That’s not going to target the facility at all - were your calibrations off?”

“Power’s still rising - 412%... Can this thing even go that high?”

“Not safely, Dr. Brightman. Shut it down and get everyone out of there - this could be an emergency. Sound the alarm.”

The two scientists in the breakroom dropped their coffee cups and made a dash for the exit. They were followed by a mass of staff, who spilled out of the complex and into the gleaming sun of the desert. Just as Dr. Arnott stepped out, she turned towards the building that housed the ground focus, to see a large beam of light fire into the sky.

“It’s never been that large before…” said the taller of the break room scientists.

“You’re right… and why was it headed… south?”

Six people stayed behind while the emergency alarm was sounded. One of them was Dr. Brightman, who slammed buttons on a control panel. Another was a security co-ordinator, who ushered the staff to the exit. The other four were engineers, who rushed downstairs in the room beyond the door to see to the Yamato engine, the Vanorian creation that was powering this mess. It was sealed behind yet another metal door, but after receiving the all clear from a member of staff at the ground focus, the engineers stepped into the room and smashed the reinforced glass that was holding the device.

It was hot to the touch, and one of the engineers recoiled in pain as he placed a hand on the white box. The others hauled in a large container on a trolley, and one broke off to input commands on the hulking computer system that lay outside the metal doors. Robot arms clicked and snapped into life, and hauled the engine up off it’s plinth and into the metal container. The engineers looked around the room before slamming it shut, and pushed the trolley off to a nearby service lift. Within minutes, they had moved to the delivery bay and moved the engine into a stationed truck. The engineer with the burned hand hopped into the driver’s seat, turned the key, and began to drive off out of the complex before the confusion died down...

---

December 2196, Sallenhass Rock, The Corvidae State

The basement of the former prison had spent the last two years as a lab, clean and pristine while Corvidae and Calanian Union aligned boats circled the complex, the Calanians blockading anyone that entered the waterspace, and the Corvidae agents menacingly pointing guns at anything that moved. An uneasy peace had been held here for the past three years, with the Union government believing that if Corvidae had a known base of operations that was under 24 hour surveillance, they could not have other operations elsewhere. Nothing had happened in the time that Corvidae had taken over the Rock, at least nothing that the Calanian Union cared about, but today Administrator General Emilio Blume recieved some news from the basement that impressed him greatly.

"... And as you can see from the experiment, we've finally been able to reverse engineer the Yamato process that the scientists were aiming to create two years ago, Administrator General. It won't quite be as powerful as the sabotage we performed back then - we're not able to eliminate several nations like we did last time - but we should be able to, er, 'relocate' an area approximately the size of Fligsive."

"Excellent work, my friend." said Blume, sat down at a desk in the highest reaches of a converted watchtower. A helicopter buzzed as it swung around the tower, a routine perimeter check. "That is our plan, after all. We've been denied out capital for far too long, and now is the time to take it by force. I'll get to work on assembling an operation to bring the device into Fligsive, and from there, we can issue our ultimatum. We will reclaim our capital for the Corvidae cause! We will never die!"

"How long do you believe the assembly will take? Also, a work of warning - the device needs 72 hours to charge once we've placed it in the city - will we have that time?"

"Of course. The ultimatum gives the citizens of that broken city time to leave, as they should recognize that it simply doesn't belong to them. After the 72 hours are up, we will have full control of the city, and our ideals will be realised once again..." Blume reached for a telephone. "Anyway, I have some calls to make. A certain someone is going to be very interested in this indeed..."

---

Global :: Calanian Union :: Breaking
Tags: Atlantian Oceania, Calanian Union, Fligsive, Bomb Crisis
Bomb Threat In Fligsive
Corvidae Relealed to be Behind Attack - Ultimatum Issued to Citizens - 72 Hours to Evacuate
23rd March 2197

by Jordan Webber

Fligsive, THE CALANIAN UNION---- An international crisis has unfolded this morning in one of the multiverses most troubled cities. Fligsive, once the shining jewel of the Former Inevitable Syndicate, and now a city struggling to get back on its feet, has been dealt another blow, this time as a bomb has been placed on the seventh floor of the Herring Building, a former office block that was converted into the residential housing after the Corvidae War.

The bomb was first reported at approximately 09:00 this morning, as a video message was posted on-line that quickly spread across the country. In the video, former Administrator of the Former Inevitable Syndicate, Lex Crowley (who was rumoured to be dead after the war seven years ago) states that the city of Fligsive has a choice - to evacuate within 72 hours, or be absolved into the new Corvidae State that he claims to be setting up in 'his capital'. He has asked armed forces not to enter the Herring building, as if they do so, the device will be detonated instantly, possibly killing thousands. The footage offers a link to a website, where a live feed shows the bomb - a large, white box with a timer on it - in the middle of a room on the 7th floor of the Herring Building. Ekitaldia news helicopters have raced to the building, and have confirmed that the white box is in position, and the footage has not been edited.

This box - whether a bomb or otherwise - has caused widespread panic among Fligsive's citizens and the Union government. Citizens have been urged to evacuate, and several units of the First Mertian Army have been dispatched to help with the evacuation effort and attempt to scout the building, but not enter it. Representatives in Eura have also been contacted, but neither government has commented on the mobilisation of Euran Marine Commandos which are known to be based within the city.

The website offering a live feed to the bomb also claims that Corvidae was behind the so-called 'displacement' of two other nations within Atlantian Oceania, three years ago. They claim to have done this with a 'targeted weapon of mass destruction', and that the 'same will happen to everything [their] enemies hold dear'. Experts have told Ekitaldia that the Corvidae insurgents are referring to an event two years ago in which meteor strikes hit two nations in Atlantian Oceania - Whittoria and Kishrael - resulting in an international crisis that was quickly resolved. This led to the creation of several new islands, which the international community is currently working to recolonise. The claims that Corvidae were behind these events have been dismissed, as there is no possible way that an insurgent group could possibly manipulate meteors. Other groups have claimed that the destruction was not due to meteors at all, as none were reported to strike this plane of the multiverse at the time the nations disappeared.

Either way, this bomb threat is not one to be taken lightly, and if you live in Fligsive, it's heavily recommended that you leave as soon as possible. In the wake of the news, the Union government announced that train services would also focus on evacuation, along with the help the First Mertian Army will provide.

Ekitaldia will give more news on the bomb threat as and when it happens.

Jordan Webber
Defence Correspondent, Ekitaldia News Network

[Jeru FC]

Naked News Jeruselem's Laura Cashman and Jeru FC player ROAW

Laura: This is Laura Cashman for Naked News Jeruselem, we're back home in Jeruselem and the boys took on visitors Nurkama of which we know nothing bout really. Anyway, the boys still managed to win 2-0. I'm with ROAW, one of the strikers.
ROAW: Hello all
Laura: Another win, but a home win. The team have two wins a draw against that Greg team. Great start to the campaign.
ROAW: Yes, we can't complain. We're scoring goals and conceding less goals.
Laura: Bit of an off day for yourself, no goals and well ... completely didn't do much with what you got
ROAW: Yeah, dunno what happened. Everything turned into poo today for me.

Laura: Strong defense by the boys, but then the visitors didn't really pose a threat.
ROAW: Yes, well we weren't tested in defense really. But no goals conceded is great result for us.
Laura: The boys are yet to face the top teams which is the real test
ROAW: We're looking good but we haven't faced the best in the group as yet really apart from Greg's team
Laura: What does the Jeru FC midfield actually do?
ROAW: No idea, they are supposed to to give supply to the strikers but I think they have a bit a holiday myself

Laura: The boys are 3rd on the table behind the two leaders who are undefeated with perfect records. Greg's team is 4th. So it's OK so far.
ROAW: Seeing Jeruselem actually being last on Group 16, yes.
Laura: But they've played the two strongest teams and had a draw at home. The results look awful but they had the most difficult opponents early.
ROAW: I'm worried, leaking 2 goals per game. They have to fix that. I think they've only managed 4 goals total.
Laura: But Ko-oren and Boring Paradise are top teams.
ROAW: I think Jeruselem are never quick starters. They manage to lose a game early, sometimes it's the first game.

Laura: Do you boys have the advantage of never changing the team, Jeruselem always seems to change their team a lot between cups.
ROAW: For unity yes but it also means everyone knows what we're about even before we get on the field because our style of football doesn't change either
Laura: Some call your football dirty, as it in marginally illegal dirty
ROAW: We're a bit rough and not exactly elegant but it's all legal
Laura: Can you beat the teams that really matter?
ROAW: We may not have the talent but we'll try.

Laura: Did you see today's incident with Princess Laura
ROAW: Yes, she was pretty unlucky really. The defender jammed the ball against her while trying to clear it and she tripped over the ball while trying to kick it. Her knee twisted badly and she faceplanted herself.
Laura: Those sort of incidents can end careers
ROAW: She is a young and I guess she'll be OK.
Laura: Not good considering she was on the field for like 5 minutes
ROAW: Don't worry about her.

Laura; That's the sort of football you boys play
ROAW: Some days it works and some days it blows up in your face when half the team get send off
Laura: That's it from Jeru FC, the boys did well today.
ROAW: Yes, time for a beer or ten of them.
Laura: I'm sure it's just more than beer today.
ROAW: It's all legal I tell ya

Laura: I don't believe you
ROAW: How come no one does?

[Gregoryisgodistan]

All references to "The Unholy Empire" in the below RP refer to The Holy Empire. Additionally, all references to "The Dreamy Realm" are mocking references to The Dreamed Realm. This is similar to how Lord Almighty Gregory refers to the Holy Republican Empire as the Unholy Republican Empire, or how several nations refer to us IC-ly as Gregoryisnotgodistan, Gregoryissatanistan, etc. No OOC offense is intended.

On that note, just a reminder that if you're going to refer to me as Gregoryisnotgodistan or similar IC-ly, please either include the correct name in an OOC note, as I am doing for THE here, or TG me to give me a heads up (no need to wait for permission.) I regularly search the forum to find references to my nation in RPs so I can respond, but if you don't use the correct name, that won't work.

Lord Almighty Gregory's Speech to the People

"Good morning, ladies, gentlemen, and slaves. I hope you enjoyed your gruel breakfast that I so lovingly provided for you at no cost other than your 100 percent taxes. Gruel is good, isn't it? Anyway, today, I must talk of very important matters. I received a letter from the leader of the nation that calls itself The Holy Empire allowing us to basically do whatever we want while playing their soccer team, including kill whoever we want and cause whatever chaos we want. Needless to say, we will be taking full advantage of this. When we play the team in The Holy Empire, our players and fans will come armed with weapons. After the game, we will use said weapons to kill the other team and all its fans, then set fire to the entire stadium and surrounding area. It will be a glorious day as we will destroy The Unholy Empire, proving once and for all that it is not so holy after all. Perhaps the players, stadium, and/or surrounding area will be replaced by impostors.

(OOC: Nothing in the following paragraph is true, but everyone in Gregoryisgodistan believes it.)

"It has happened before. The woman in Acedonia impersonating Sister Maria Polus is an impostor, since we killed the original one after she foolishly tried to assassinate me, perhaps forgetting that I am immortal. After we killed King Paulus XX, he was replaced by his identical twin brother, also named Paulus, so they could carry on the charade. Eventually, said twin was killed by the Sanctii military in a false flag and blamed on Feministvs Sanctvsterra, which was very convenient.

(OOC: In a bizarre inversion, the following paragraph is true, but few outside Gregoryisgodistan believe it.)

"As a result of the same incident, Feministvs Sanctvsterra was blamed for the killing of Consul Piazza of the Free Republics. Of course, it was our brave and noble assassins who did that, not Feministvs Sanctvsterra. They were also blamed for the attempted assassination of Samuel Izmailov. I do not know who did that, but it was not us and it was not Feministvs Sanctvsterra. Feministvs Sanctvsterra is not a group of murderers - they would never do a thing like that. And while we would most certainly do a thing like that, we would succeed if we tried. If it had been us killing Izmailov, he would be dead right now. Not to mention our assassins would have killed him with a gun, which would have resulted in instant death and avoided the problems that resulted later and led to his survival. Perhaps someday we will kill Samueu Izmailov. I hope we do. But when we do, we will succeed and he will die.

"But alas, I digress. Back to The Unholy Empire. We will destroy those heathens and their stadium and everything they hold dear. Perhaps it will all be replaced by impostors. So be it. If so, we can just laugh at their desperation to cover up my Godliness. They will not accept me as God, and so they must be destroyed. This creates the perfect opportunity. They have also, foolishly, allowed us to attack them in our home leg. We will most certainly do so. After the game, we will detain the team and have them executed for blasphemy and crimes against Lord Almighty Gregory. The executions will be nationally televised immediately following the soccer match. Perhaps they will be replaced by impostors then too. Perhaps The Unholy Empire will claim they are the real team and some Dreamy Realm magic saved them. So be it. You will all know the truth. (OOC: No, it's not the truth, per THE's letter, but that doesn't mean they won't believe it.)

"Finally, in order to more easily accomplish this, I am adding The Unholy Empire to the Enemy List, where they will join their sister Dreamy Realm nation, The Archregimancy. This means that the killing of citizens of this wicked nation within Gregoryisgodistan will be legal, and the killer will receive a $1 million greggygodbuck reward. This reward will even apply to killings outside Gregoryisgodistan, though local laws will, of course, apply to those killings. Ordinarily, athletes would be exempt from this, but as The Holy Empire has allowed us to cause whatever chaos we want to their athletes, I am waiving the exemption at least temporarily. However, as always, members of organizations dedicated to the overthrow of the government of The Holy Empire are exempt, and killing them is still murder under our law. You will not get a reward - instead, you and your family will be executed. So don't do it.

"The Unholy Empire is a wicked nation full of sinners who must be destroyed. Death to the so-called Holy Empire! Death to The Archregimancy! Death to Saintland! Death to Free Republics! Death to everyone else on the Enemy List! Accept me as God or die! That is the way of the Lord!"

[Abanhfleft]

CRESCENT NEWS NETWORK
SPORTS CHANNEL - OFFICIAL WEBSITE

ABANHFLEFT'S WORLD CUP QUALIFICATION WOES CONTINUE WITH 4-2 AWAY DEFEAT AT KAZAMATSURI
By Arnold Isaacs


Players from Abanhfleft and Kazamatsuri fight to gain control of the ball following a corner for the hosts. Kazamatsuri defeated Abanhfleft 4-2 in their home stadium following a strong showing which saw the Revolutionaries barely make any headway into their opponents' defense. (Courtesy of Crescent News Network/Harry Daniels)

KAZAMATSURI - Abanhfleft's recent World Cup qualifying woes continues as the Kazamatsuri national team run roughshod over the Revolutionaries and defeated them 4-2. Gustavo Potter and Abdullah Musa finally opened up the scoring for the country, but it was not enough to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat on Kazamatsuri's home ground.

9000 Fleftic fans braved the journey to faraway Kazamatsuri to watch their Revolutionaries, even as the national team appeared to be suffering a slump in form which has seen them lose by a large scorline against Turori and fail to score any goal against a mysterious Isula ge Ru side.

In the 19th minute of the game, Kazamatsuri forward Suzuno Shokuho opened up the scoring after scoring a brilliant long shot from an estimated 30 yards, and keeper Maksim Varamoninov later on praised the female youngster's "amazing" ball control ability. Kazamatsuri doubled their lead eleven minutes later when Yuki Higashikuni scored a header from a Kaori Toyota corner. Six minutes after Higashikuni's goal, Toyota herself netted a goal of her own by chipping the ball over a rushing Varamoninov and sending it into the back of the net. Just like the game against Turori, Abanhfleft found itself 3 goals down at the end of the first half. Another second half meltdown seemed likely, even as the 9000 Fleftic fans in the stadium were trying to motivate their team into fighting back.

It seemed like Kasper Molak had given his boys a stern talking-to during the halftime break, because the players returned to the pitch with fire and brimstone burning in their eyes, and they looked hungry to score. Gustavo Potter finally scored the country's first goal in this World Cup cycle by volleying a pass from Luke Edwards high into the left corner and beyond the reach of the Kazamatsuri keeper in the 56th minute. Abdullah Musa scored the country's second goal five minutes later after evading his defender and slotting in the ball after receiving the pass from Walter White. Being the only Fleftic not in an offside position when White made the pass, perhaps it was for the best that it was Musa who managed to receive it. Either way, a goal is a goal, and Abdullah Musa put the country just that little bit closer to stealing a point from under the noses of Kazamatsuri.

But they would have none of it. In the 79th minute, with every player except the Kazamatsuri keeper crowding the Kazamatsuri box in preparation for the corner. Kaori Toyota sent the ball high into the middle of the box, with Fleftic and Kazamatsurian (?) players jumping as high as possible for the ball. But it was Sachiko Sakurada who jumped the highest, and steered the ball into the back of the net with her forehead to seal her country's win. Try as they might, the Revolutionaries failed to make any more inroads into the Kazamatsuri box, and the game ended with yet another loss to Abanhfleft's name in this World Cup qualifying cycle.

Some more bad news for Abanhfleft is that Randy Floyd may not see out the rest of the qualifiers after landing awkwardly on his right leg, which was later confirmed to be a twisted leg. Not just a twisted ankle, but a twisted leg. Kevin Kelvin will take Floyd's spot in the starting lineup starting with the home game against Panamerhispania.

"Difficult draw may be reason for country's World Cup woes"

A difficult draw which saw Abanhfleft grouped with football powerhouses such as Turori, Chiata and Kazamatsuri may be one of the reasons why the country is currently going through a difficult period when it comes to results, Kasper Molak told the press in the post-game conference. "We had a markedly easier draw in our first World Cup cycle. We lost against the big teams like Legalese and Eastfield Lodge, but we managed to draw against Falcus, and we even won against Archregimancy and Icemark! But the teams in our group today; they're in pretty good form. But hopefully when we play them we find out their strengths and weaknesses, and use that to our advantage."

Abanhfleft to host Panamerhispania in Stadion de December 27


Stadion de December 27 is currently undergoing conversion into a football pitch in preparation for the coming Abanhfleft-Panamerhispania game. (Courtesy of Crescent News Network/Morulo Watonzie)

The Fleftic Football Federation announced today that the Stadion de December 27 will be hosting the coming game against Panamerhispania. The FFF cited cost-saving measures as one of the reasons why the match was moved to Imgortur's baseball stadium instead of IKEA Arena in Wanda Island.

"Let's admit it, not many people will be wanting to watch this particular game," FFF spokesperson Thomas Gurney said. "And I highly suspect that the country will be flooded with Panamerhispanian--is that what they even call themselves?--fans keen to support their national team, when they haven't even bothered with submitting a roster! I also highly suspect that the country is coming close to internal collapse, as barely anything has come out of that country in recent days. Still, hopefully their team will put up a decent performance against us. Wouldn't want too many goals for our team, eh? Or maybe that will actually be a good thing, seeing as we've got a big, big deficit in goal difference."

           KAZAMATSURI 4 - 2 ABANHFLEFT
  SUZUNO SHOKUHO (19')       GUSTAVO POTTER (56')
YUKI HIGASHIKUNI (30')       ABDULLAH MUSA (61')
    KAORI TOYOTA (42')
SACHIKO SAKURADA (79')

WORLD CUP QUALIFYING GROUP 9 TABLE

P Group 9                                 Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Turori                                    3    3   0   0    10    0  +10     9
2 Chiata                                    3    2   1   0     4    0   +4     7
3 Kazamatsuri                               3    2   1   0     6    3   +3     7
4 Isula ĝe Ru                               3    1   1   1     4    4    0     4
5 Walamzia                                  3    1   0   2     7    7    0     3
6 Frenline Delpha                           3    1   0   2     8   10   −2     3
7 Abanhfleft                                3    0   1   2     2    9   −7     1
8 Panamerhispania                           3    0   0   3     2   10   −8     0

Abanhfleft's starting lineup following Randy Floyd injury

[Queer Poco el Mono Ara]

“You have really dropped a bollock this time.”

“What, you wanted players with international experience, that’s what came through.”

“But they’re rubbish, well, most of them, Traore and Rudolpho I can get on board with, but the others, who the hell is this Tim guy?”

“I dunno who Tim is, he’s an accident.”

“You know we can hear you?” came a voice from behind a heavy wooden door.

“Shit.”

The high priests opened the chamber door and faced the squad they had just summoned. Looking round the ethereal blue shimmering spectres there were a couple of familiar faces, players they’d seen on TV when “historical” or “classic” matches had been seen, but not many of them were instantly recognizable. The defence they managed to muster up was pretty good, the wingers were a little iffy, particularly the number 11 and the attacking partnership looked a little suspect.

“You’ve really hurt my feelings” came a voice from the back of the room. “I never asked to be summoned back.”

“Shut up Tim, none of us did.” Snapped Rudolpho, already taking the mantel of leader upon himself.

“We’re sorry?” squinted Sakhr, one of the priests, unsure as to whether it was an apology they were looking for and whether his empty one would be sufficient.

“Not good enough.” Bellowed Rudolpho. It wasn’t good enough..

The head priest made his way to the front. His ceremonial robes were made entirely of cotton and looked more like good quality pyjamas than the kind of attire you’d wear for summoning the spirits of dead footballers from the afterlife. It was offset by a headdress that was far too fancy to be worn to bed.

“We need your help. One last hoorah. We don’t have a team anymore, we tried, we failed, people just seem to have lost interest in football in Queer Poco el Mono Ara.”

“So? We’ve done our part, it is time for us to reap our rewards and enjoy eternity in heaven.” Declared Aruna

“Yeah!” agreed Wilfried.

“Wait. I don’t remember seeing you there?” Aruna narrowed his ghostly eyes and looked Wilfried over.

“Oh, me, yeah, I was definitely there, err, soft clouds, harp music, nothing to eat but ambrosia, I was having the time of my afterlife....”

Aruna narrowed his eyes.. narrower.

“Anyway... One last World Cup qualifying campaign, make us proud.”

....

Jump ahead a little, like three games into the campaign.

“Bloody good go today lads, shame we couldn’t keep the 100% streak up, but they’re not an easy side to beat.” Rudolpho patted his spectral hand on the almost completely transparent shoulder of Clancy Gibson. “Just got to keep our chins up.”

There were noises of agreement in the locker room, understandably disappointed, after a 2-1 win away in Nethertopia and then a more than comfortable victory in their first game at home over Renatiem might have had the footballing apparitions believing in their own hype a little too early on, now they’d come crashing back down to Earth and could see that the journey to the World Cup wasn’t going to be a cake walk.

“So, next game, we need to bounce back, we need to get stuck in and hit them hard, remember, we can’t be hurt, we’ve already snuffed it. Hassle the guy on the ball, don’t give them a minute to think, if it means going two up on a man, you do it.”

There was a giggle in the back. Tim snorted

“Did I say something funny Tim?”

“Just when you said going two up on a man, like, two up, up his butt.”

“You’re a moron.”

“Gentlemen” The high priest Abdul bustled his way into the locker room, hounded by the press “Wow, they really can’t get over the fact you’re ghosts.” He said, pushing the door shut tight and leaning against it. “Now, I don’t want to seem ungrateful for your efforts, but what the Hell were you doing out there? How do you lose to a team of flesh and bone, you’re otherworldly, this should be child’s play for you.”

“You know, we’re only as good as we were when we were living... and Tim is dreadful.” Complained Clancy.

Suddenly several different voices all chimed in at once “Tim hasn’t even played yet.” “We could leave Tim at home.” “I think we should leave Tim at home.” “Besides which he’s so juvenile.”

“You guys realise I’m still here, right?”

“Yes.” Replied 16 other ghosts.

[Alasdair I Frosticus]

IT'S THE ARTS
Featuring Nicholas Lascaro and Dr. Juan Botaniates

"...conclusion of the exciting live coverage of the Holy Empire's 5-2 victory over Dawnhaven, the second consecutive match where they've put five past their hapless opponents. And now back to the studio, and tonight's edition of It's The Arts"

<jaunty but intellectual theme tune>

"The Imperial Epic of Guillermo Yeatses, The Borderer of Double Stock, the Song of the Five Potatoes - all among the very finest and most famous artistic achievements of Imperial Art. Yet why do we never talk about the epic six-hour long magical realist Slobbodovanian folk opera In Search of the Lost Vowel in the same breath as these monuments of intellectual achievement? With the exciting news that Slobbodovanian folk outfit Sbrskj Krk Trkrj will be performing this lost masterpiece alongside the Imperial Symphony Orchestra, Imperial Opera Choir, and the Howling Dogs of the Imperial Kennels at the forthcoming Quebec Broadcasting Company Sir Pascal Park Promenade concert season, I have asked Dr Juan Botaniates, Professor of Really Obscure Folk Traditions at the Imperial University to outline In Search of the Lost Vowel's basic plot."

"Thank you Nicholas. As you know, In Search of the Lost Vowel has six acts, each taking approximately an hour. I shall describe each act in turn, accompanied by clips of a recent amateur performance - though I regret I lack the time to offer more than the most skeletal outline, and cannot go into the opera's rich magical realist symbolism in any real detail...."

ACT 1
The 56 consonants of the Slobbodovanian alphabet (represented by the male members of the chorus) gather for a beet feast. Many traditional folk melodies are played, and traditional all-male folk dances feature prominently. Alas, the consonants soon discover that only one of the two vowels (the soprano soloist) of the alphabet is present, meaning they cannot complete the ritual beet beating that is necessary to flatten the beets for beet carpaccio - and which symbolically requires both vowels. The famous lament 'Without Two Beet Beaters We Cannot Beat the Beets' is sung. Two of the more pronounceable consonants, Xch and Glottal Stop, volunteer to set out across the multiverse to search for the lost vowel, so that the beet beating can be complete. After much discussion, they are sent out into the world.

ACT 2
Xch and Glottal Stop speak to representatives of different social classes in order to see if they have seen the lost vowel. They start with the working classes, but alas neither the cheese miners nor the fish bone skyscraper construction workers have heard of the lost vowel. The colour farmer peasants have better news, and suggest asking the representatives of the Intelligentsia. The famous aria 'Can We Trust the Representatives of the Intelligentsia to Play Fair with Working Class Consonants?' is sung. Many members of the intelligentsia admit to having seen the lost vowel, but she has moved on to the High Castle in the Mountains. Xch and Glottal Stop journey across the plain to the mountain.

ACT 3
Xch and Glottal Stop reach the High Castle. They ask castle functionaries if they have seen the lost vowel, but find themselves entangled with the castle's complex bureaucracy, and are unable to get a straight answer from anyone. A particularly famous sequence here is the "Sign This Form In Quintiplet Please" trio, where traditional folk melodies are given a discordant atonal form while the dogs of the Imperial Kennel howl in the background. Many Imperial citizens find it to be the single most moving sequence in the entire opera. Eventually Xch and Glottal Stop reach an upper parapet of the Castle, and glimpse the lost vowel sailing away in a boat made of breadcrumbs and cobwebs.

ACT 4
Xch and Glottal Stop attempt to follow the lost vowel, but find themselves in a purgatory of the professional classes of the petty bourgeoisie, many of whom admit to never having eaten (or beaten) beets, much to the surprise of our intrepid consonants. They find themselves bound to thrones of glass, listening to such numbers as the 'Aria of the Psychoanalysts', the 'March of the Cosmetic Surgeons', and the infamous 'Chartered Accountant's Waltz'. Eventually Xch and Glottal Stop escape, fall down a dark pit, and emerge into an unknown land…

ACT 5
Our heroes find that they have taken the form of the traditional Slobbodovanian folk instruments the moodelhoorn and the hoobrl drums. Traditionally, this Act offers considerable scope for virtuoso soloing by the players of the relevant instruments, alongside improvisational interpretive dance by the troupe's folk dancers. Eventually, Xch and Glottal Stop retake their original form, and ask the rhetorical question whether it is better to be a consonant or a musical instrument. The rich symbolism here will surely be obvious to even the densest of mundies.

ACT 6
The lost vowel suddenly appears – to the stunned surprise of Xch and Glottal Stop, she is in the company of a third vowel! The four travellers return to their home, where the presence of a third vowel allows for the beets to both beaten and sweetened, and a magnificent feast is held, with the folk musicians, full orchestra, full chorus, and all of the dogs from the Imperial kennels building to a mighty crescendo as the plates of beaten sweetened beets are presented to the entire village. Xch and Glottal Stop enter into a mystical symbolic marriage with the second and third vowel, and as the music gradually falls away, a giant dancing white beet sings out the final aria 'I Am a Giant Dancing White Beet'.

[Xzyxrouw]

Shao'Xatsihr Ahr'Xhaan experiencing the unenviable task of checking the Xzyxrouw football team into a Darmeni hotel ahead of their Matchday 3 away game

---

Halorit ... Hi ... ah, sorry ... erm ... I nocht spreekert Legonian. What? Oh, yes ... Ic nocht sprekert Legonian. Sorry, I'm not so good with languages. Yes, I'm here to check in the Xzyxrouw national team. No, they're not my pets, they're Xatz, y'know, the Xati race?
Yes Momo, I'm just explaining that to the guy. Yes, I get that Khfufu finds being referred to as a pet offensive. Tell her he apologises. I know he hasn't, but Khfufu doesn't know th...
What? Sorry. Papers? Oh yes, papers! Yes, I should have all the papers for the team. Xatz don't generally have pockets you see, so I'm having to look after all the paperwork. Haha. Yeah, I suppose it isn't that funny ... Right, here's mine, Momo's and Maoeq's then there's
Ozsgha! Momo, can you get Ozsgha? He's about to wander through the door ...
Sorry. So, then there's Aqrag, Umku, Qum... No, Umku's the white one. You're pointing at Rhahaxa. No, I haven't got to her ID papers yet. Yes, I have them but...
No Rhahaxa, you ... can't ... Momo! Explain to ... Where's Momo?
Sorry? No Momo's like a tortoise-shell colour, that's Xowzo.
Momo? Oh wait, she went to get Oszgha. They better get back soon ...
Ok. So we've done myself, Momo, Maoeq, Aqrag, Umku, Qu... Yes, Umku's the white one, Qumgrog, Rhahaxa. Did we get up to Rhahaxa? Yes? Good. Then there's Zowri, Ahky, Iuki ... Iuki? Dammit!
Rhahaxa ... get ... Iuki. I know you understand me, don't play stupid. Is Momo back yet?
No. She's tortoise-shell colour, that's Xowzo. No, we haven't got up to Xowzo's ID yet. Yes, that 'dog' is with us. Yes, he does also have ID, I'm getting to it ... Relax ... No, I understand it's a legal requirement.
Momo, you're back! What? Oszgha went to find some food?! He needs to be here to check-in. Can't you damn Xatz wait for five minutes?
I know he doesn't have his ID, Tankaghabhál du very much! ... What? Tanknasaghabhál du then, whatever. Can we get everybody else checked in first, then deal with who's missing? Good. Right, so Iuki ... where's Iuki? No, that's Xowzo again you're pointing at.
Iuki! Where did you come from?!
So then, Iuki, Xowzo, Qyumouw, Kha, Khfufu, Zrha, Rhaazu ... No, Rhaazu's the one behind Xowzo. No that's Oszgha ... Oszgha!
So you're back then? Found some old meat in a bin ... thanks, didn't need to know that. Right ... where was I?
Rhaazu ... yes, he's that one. Then Oszgha, Ruf Gruf ... yes, Ruf Gruf's the arf ... Sorry? Fine 'dog', whatever. Then there's Myrmynx, Hroreq, Grhegyrhy and Mroqagog. All done. Sorry? The xat on the sofa? Wruqyryum! Where's her ID?
Do you have it? I know you don't have pockets Momo, but do you have any idea where it is? No, not your pockets. Wruqyryum's ID?
Sorry? Yes, I'm very aware that without her ID she'll be unable to have a room. The police?! Is that really necessary? Yes, I'm perfectly aware that there are certain rules to abide by. Can she not share a room with another xat? No, I'm not trying to contravene the laws of your country. Can you not call the Ministry of Citizenship and Immigration to verify that we are indeed here to play a football match. Yes, we are an international football team. No, we don't practice with balls of yarn ... I'm beginning to find your laughter quite unprofessional. Yes, we're playing against Darmen tomorrow. No, this isn't a joke. Can you stop laughing please? No, we can't find Wruqyryum's ID but if you call the Minis... Do you have to call the police? We're not making a disturbance. No, it isn't some sort of hoax! For fu...
No Khfufu, he doesn't need any persuasion. I know what you classify as persuasion. Momo, explain what I just said to Khfufu please.
Fine whatever. Call the sodding police ...

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Later on, Shao'Xatsihr Ahr'Xhaan experiencing the unenviable task of attempting to explain to the Darmeni police why a member of the Xzyxrouw squad is lacking their ID papers

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Halorit ... Hi ... erm ... No, I nocht spreekert, I mean Ic nocht sprekert Legonian. No, this isn't a joke. We really are the Xzyxrouw national football team ...

I'm beginning to find your laughter quite unprofessional ...