X Winter Olympics RP Thread

by **Free Republics** » Sat Jan 17, 2015 9:06 am

Logo created by Yttribia

Today, the first knockout rounds begin for a team sport while the final events will be held in Nordic Combined and Short Track. Yes, it is the 8th day of the X Winter Olympics and it is time for cutoff!

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Sat Jan 17, 2015 11:34 am

Day 8 Roundup

It was a disappointing Day 8 for Gregoryisgodistan at the Winter Olympics, as they once again failed to win any medals. However, they were largely successful in preliminary rounds, setting up nicely for finals later in the Games.

In the women's super-G, Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Veronica Varmit finished in 6th place, only 0.18 seconds off the lead, with a time of 1:21.08. She accidentally tripped and fell about 25 feet from the finish line and basically rolled across. She would probably have won the gold if she didn't do that. Instead, she finished sixth. After the failure, Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Veronica Varmit accused Senator and Chairman Samuel Izmailov of placing a rock in front of her when she was skiing. "It is clear that this heathen put something there to trip me up," she said. "Izmailov is a heathen and a clown and he will stop at nothing to prevent us from winning. I would kill him if I could, but it would mean all our athletes get expelled, so I won't. How sad. But he will die eventually, I know, at the hands of Lord Almighty Gregory." Slave Beater UKELELE2 finished tied for 8th, while Slave Beater GHEUU8138 came in 16th and Slave MSAMDMSAMDMASD823882348 came in 19th.

in the cross-country skiing men's 50 km classical, Pervert Chaser ALCAPACINE came in 14th with a time of 2:06:16.4. He was for some reason the only Gregoryisgodistani competitor in this event since the others were not entered properly. Sports Clerk K929OAPDSOADN was responsible for this error and has been executed along with his family.

In men's curling, the Broom Slaves lost to Paymina 8-7 to drop to 2-1, now in third place in their group.

After the short program in figure skating men's singles, Male Dancer IKEALUKCANDNA sits in 13th place with a score of 81.94, while Male Dancer KUUUHUUUASA is tied for 36th with a score of 72.68. After the skate, Male Dancer KUUUHUUUASA accused Senator Izmailov of bribing and threatening judges to give him a low score. "I know in my heart that I should be in first place," he said. "But Izmailov obviously bribed and threatened judges to give me low marks, just like he did to Lord Almighty Gregory. Izmailov must be killed. I am proud of my Lord that he has put a bounty on Izmailov's head. He should be killed as painfully as possible. But not until after the Games when we are all gone. Death to Izmailov!"

In men's aerials freestyle skiing Slave 289IASJDNASNFD advanced to the Final out of the First Qualifying, while Slave ASNNCNAN848284 and Slave HNANDNA advanced out of the Second Qualifying. The final will be tomorrow.

In the women's aerials final, Youth LI388A8S8A, Slave HSAHJNCNAN37 and Youth MMAUSUDU43813 all advanced to the second round but were all eliminated there. It was great elation followed by great disappointment. All three of them agreed Samuel Izmailov bribed and threatened the judges to give poor scores in the second round. Youth MMAUSUDU43813 even accused the Republican army of fatally shooting a judge who wouldn't comply and allowing Izmailov to take over himself. "It was absolutely pathetic on Izmailov's part," Youth MMAUSUDU43813 said. "He must be arrested, executed, blown to bits, and set on fire all at the same time. Izmailov is horrible. Izmailov is wicked. Izmailov must die!"

In the women's ice hockey play-in round, Gregoryisgodistan fell to Darmen 5-2, ending their run. In nordic combined, a team of slaves came in 9th. Who cares?

In the short track finals of the men's 500 m, Pervert Chaser 248AFBAF came in fourth, narrowly missing a medal. In the women's 500 m final, Lady Soldier GUGUGAGA came in fifth, also missing a medal.

After the first two runs in women's skeleton, Farmer IDIFDNANDSBA sits in 7th place, while Lady Soldier ZINCUSA and Sledmaker LPPDSFVMMA are tied for 11th. Any of them could wind up medaling.

It was a good day in men's snowboard cross, with Youth 488ABF and Youth U4UAUTOUC both advancing to the final where they could easily one or both win medals. There are only six athletes left in that event. It should be fun tomorrow.

In addition to the aforementioned men's snowboard cross and women's skeleton, there will be other medal events tomorrow as well. The men's super-G will be held, featuring legitimate medal contender Pervert Chaser LSD8S8FFDHHAF and three enemy crushers entered for the entertainment who almost certainly won't win but will look very funny. There will be a women's cross country relay featuring four slave catchers who are probably not going to win a medal but they're better than the Enemy Crushers. The men's free skate will also be held, as will the finals in men's aerials. Finally, regular speed skating gets underway with the 5,000 m, which Pervert Chaser 923483247 has a very good shot of winning a medal at. Two other pervert chasers will also compete. Let's hope there are no streakers, or they will get dickapitated and castrated by the pervert chasers. That is their job and they will do it anywhere in the world. There must be no mooning, streaking, rape, or other sex crimes at the competition or they will pay for their sins.

by **The Sword Bloke** » Sat Jan 17, 2015 1:26 pm

THAT BIT CLOSER...
The Sword Bloke's hope for a medal is a step closer. Despite a 10-4 loss to Electrum, both sides have qualified into the last 16 of men's curling. Shop Owner spoke exclusively with us, stating 'No Curling team members would be executed, and that the Ice Hockey team where big fans. We spoke with Assistant I, meanwhile!

Us- Welcome, Assistant One!
Assistant I- Thanks for the welcome. It's awesome talking to Swordean media.
US- We know! Anyways, we're loving the Swordean entrants performances, do you watch your fellow Swordeans often on TV in your hotel?
AI- We do, and we do it often. Watching the curling side's been simply rad.
US- Are your overworked, you feel?
AI- I've gotten in a lot of events, but no, I do it for The Sword Bloke.
AI- Now, in the one Swordean cafe in town, me and Shop Owner got a standing ovation. Hard to believe, as we haven't won a medal, but we still have support. Wait, is that a taco joint?
US- Yes..
AI- Bye! I need taco...
US- Haha! OK... See your all tomorrow for Day 9!

by **Darmen** » Sat Jan 17, 2015 1:42 pm

OOC: That's right, yesterday was my four year anniversary on NS. Yay me!

Bram Hayes elected Prime Minister in landslide over Zebedaios Cantu
Office exchange to happen on Monday | Hartell chosen as Deputy Prime Minister over Parent

Hartell (l) and Hayes (r) walk towards Bronco Stadium prior to Day Two of the Convention

SCOTT CITY - Former Deputy Prime Minister sailed past Environmental Minister Zebedaios Cantu, 298-7, to become Darmen's fourth different Prime Minister in four years.

Despite rumors that Forestry Minister, Hróarr Parent, was the favorite to become the new Deputy Prime Minister, Justice Minister Marnix Hartell was instead elevated to the number two position in government. Mining Minister Benaiah Neumann will become the new Justice Minister.

During his State of the Rechom address, Duke Francisco Lyons the XXth congratulated Hayes on his victory and welcomed him as the newest Prime Minister. Today the Duke the Prime Minister are expected to have meetings all day to discuss various topics.

Meanwhile, outgoing Prime Minister, Scat Peari, began clearing out his office. He will not officially be forced out until Monday, when he is expected to say goodbye to his Cabinet and his other Parliamentary colleagues. Hayes will begin to move into the Prime Minister's office that same day from his current office across Government Street.

Heavily defeated, Zebedaios Cantu is rumored to be resigning from his Cabinet position, although Hayes had made it clear prior to the Convention of the Combined Legislatures that he wanted Cantu to stay.

Five new Cabinet members are expected to be named either Tuesday or Wednesday. Currently the Interior Ministry, the Treasury, Education Ministry, Mining Ministry and Royal Affairs Ministry are all Minister-less. Of these, the Interior Ministry will be the one most sought after, although Hayes has not named any prospective candidates to replace the aging Calixte Huff.

by **Britonisea** » Sat Jan 17, 2015 3:07 pm

Hook Line and sinker

Britonisea and The Grand British Kingdom are on the verge of withdrawing and boycotting this Olympics and therefore would be banish for the next few. The decision was made by our president as he says "I don't want this on my television any more. I can't bare it, it is not good television. It is boring. Get the Britonish people back to this country here where they will compete in a national Olympics." If granted, The Grand British Kingdom will be the first nation to withdraw in a few editions, or maybe in history. This will dent Free Republic's Olympic hosting as they will know be know as "The Host city where 6 nations withdrew". On Monday 19th January 2015, The Winter Games will no longer be shown on Britonish Television whether the withdrawing is granted or not.

by **Todd McCloud** » Sat Jan 17, 2015 4:26 pm

Skaters Miss Bronze, Receive Polyimide Medal Instead
Reporting for V3 News Services, Rin Slakori

BASETON - Despite smooth transitions and good footwork during most of the match, the speed skating relay team from Vekaiyu finished just out of 3rd for the Men's 5000 Relay. While one could say Ilo Pikari's miscue on the fifth lap when he slid up slightly into turn one cost them the valuable time they needed to place, the race really came down to the last leg when Viktor Igalvo's skate did not cross the line in time after the photo finish was analyzed.

"It is tough luck," Visent Lokari, the skater who started the relay race for Vekaiyu, affirmed. "I am proud we were able to make it to the finals, however. That is an accomplishment altogether."

While the tandem missed the medal podium by less than five hundredths of a second, they were supplied fourth place medals constructed of a specific blend of polyimide to give the medal an amber-orange color and high toughness. Of course, these medals aren't official, but are rather given out to Vekaiyun athletes who happen to place 4th in an event.

Rewinding to a few days ago, Riyna Yovisktre proposed the construction of a 4th place medal. Her rationale, it seemed, was that in a field of 100 or so athletes, to give the third place individual a bronze and the 4th place individual nothing did not seem quite right. After her press conference, a reporter asked her if this would diminish the efforts of the third place athlete. She jokingly replied, "I doubt it. It would at least give them an even number so they could hug another athlete instead of standing awkwardly as the first and second place athletes are highlighted." While her proposal will more than likely fall of deaf ears, it did not actually stop Vekaiyu from producing medals for its own athletes. After all, many nations practice such behavior with their own personal athletes - for years, Vekaiyu provided medals for all competitors on the basis of making the Olympic roster alone. Plus, what better way to showcase this technology than to their own athletes in the Tenth Winter Olympics?

Iluski-Nari, the company that had agreed to make the medals in the first place, synthesized a few prototypes out of pyromellitic dianhydride (PMDA) and benzidine. "We had intended to simply make the medals out of Kapton, or PMDA and oxydianiline, but we felt the color was too plain," exclaimed R&D scientist Dr. Sayli Naligaversi. "Plus benzidine is cheaper anyway."

Will this be the last 4th-place medal Vekaiyu hands out to its own citizens? Hopefully in the coming days Vekaiyuns will win more medals of the metallic variant and increase their standing in what is turning out to be a thrilling Tenth Winter Games.

by **Vermark** » Sat Jan 17, 2015 6:41 pm

'
Environmentalism
Curling Culture in the Mountains

MALERISK
How Curling, National Parks, and Northern Vermark come together to define 'going green'.
16 Jan 2015 | CULTURE | Henrik Soversteen

A curling match on Lake Elsa in Malerisk National Park.

At dusk, the scene at Lake Elsa in Malerisk National Park is nothing short of serene. The sunset in manufacturing unbeatable cinematography. The birds are singing gorgeous symphonies. When one talks about coming in touch with nature, Malerisk is the place to go. Established in 1916, Malerisk National Park was Vermark's first established conservation area. Ever since, it has become the symbol of two things that are central to Northern Vermark: curling and environmentalism.

Known to most as the "Mountains Region", Northern Vermark has undergone drastic changes since its first settlement. It first major establishment were industrial cities built to exploit a natural resource and sustain a certain industry. Vinoburg became known for its wineries. Varnskog became the centre for Varish lumber and lumber products, especially paper needed in large quantities at the University of Videnhagen. Service industry didn't truly enter the north until Raskstad boomed as a skiing destination. The wealthy academics and businessmen from the coastal cities made excursions by the thousands to Raskstad, and brokers and investment seekers simply followed the money. Thus, Raskstad boomed as a financial centre, and more recently as per the digital age, as a start-up hot bed. Northern Vermark now accounts for almost 40% of the entire nation's Gross Domestic Product and is also the fastest growing region in terms of economics out of the three major regions of Vermark (Mountains, Plains, and Coastal).

Long before North Vermark's urbanization and economic robustness, the Mountains became home to people who didn't quite belong anywhere else. As early as 1800, rogue university biologists and anti-urbanists sould leave the coast in search of a place closer to nature. The first of these encampments became known as Malerisk. Malerisk grew over time and attracted countless tourists up until 1916 when it became commissioned as the first national park in Vermark. Malerisk's stunning natural beauty made it a pilgrimage destination for outdoors-men and photographers alike. The moderate summers made Malerisk an ideal location for hiking, canoeing, and numerous other outdoor activities. The winters were much more extreme than the summers, however, they still attracted skiers from around Vermark. Even more popular than skiing was curling. Skiing required equipment and skill whereas curling only needed some brooms from the closets and some rocks from the lake. Malerisk even became a centre of sporting innovations such as mountain biking and snowboarding. However, above Malerisk's renown for its natural beauty is Malerisk's renown for the sport of curling.

The first stone was thrown on Lake Elsa around 1830. Following that, curling became a popular excuse to go outside in the cold and avoid cases of cabin fever. In 1920, the first Lake Elsa Classic was played featuring a tournament made up of squads of park rangers representing national parks from across Vermark. Malerisk National Park beat Vittsteen National Park 10-7 with an eight-ender in the final end. Parks became centres of curling and curling became one of the most popular activities in Vermark. It's a very tranquil sport. The sound of brooms being swept against the ice complements the sound of birds singing in the trees in the early spring. This peacefulness allowed curlers to enjoy the scenery and the presence of nature as they played. Additionally, the quietness fostered deep thinking and discussion which was frequently philosophical. Curling served as the pastor to a marriage between nature and thought. And from this marriage, environmentalism was born.

Curling became a haven for environmentalists. Discussions concerning climate change, conservation, and habitat destruction were, and still are, common topics of debate during recreation curling matches. The Green Party of Vermark even holds an annual curling get-together at a different park each year. Something about the rudimentary supplies used in curling makes it a "natural" sport. Even more recent indoor curling facilities are built to be environmentally conscious. It's unlikely that the Green Movement would've taken hold in Vermark if not for the discussion that curling nurtured. This "curling culture" has spilt over into northern urban areas where progressive, environmentally-minded twenty-somethings vivaciously identify as curlers and environmentalists. Curling has even been ridiculed by the right wing as the sport of the "crunchy-granola" crowd. Regardless, curling has become an extremely important vehicle in the spread of environmental awareness.

by **Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland** » Sat Jan 17, 2015 8:55 pm

Social media news round-up from Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland.

Twötter

@jasminjäggy

@SuperSkiSWR

@electricastrid

@SchäfCurlSkip

@HHAAHpineapples

@TheSaltiSchutzi

@Senta_60

@TheSaltiSchutzi

@jasminjäggy

Fäcebüch

Anja Hintzen

Tanja Gerst

Liesel Kistner

NutriMunch

YummySportsNutriChompBarExcellence

NuttyFruitySportyFunSuperYummyGummyCrummyJummySuperAwesomeSnackSmash

NutriMunch

NuttyFruitySportyFunSuperYummyGummyCrummyJummySuperAwesomeSnackSmash

87 other equally ridiculously named sports brands

Inßtabljörk

Annemarie Schultze

WTF was this??? MeMe "disqualified"??? #olympics #teamswr
5,376 people like this.

Judith Krüger

Reiner Frost

Heinrich Heinrichs

Ben Beermann

Lothar Frohloff

He's Had An Absolute Hölöschwredermeinerbinghofkallenschlachtesentermittelhopferdeilungabschlachtweltungsmeining

Repeated failures on alpine slopes: do they prove Marx's critique was right? (Yes)

ResistanceSports

Is society intrinsically unattainable? Why would class service outdated perceptions of sexual identity? How does cultural prepatriarchialist theory denote the difference between sexual identity and truth? Three key questions in the wake of a skier being eaten by a fucking yeti

b00bmaster69

Viewing figures show more watched Olympic curling than Olympic hockey: sign of the times or fleeting fancy?

curling_iron

Judging to perfection: Figure skating judge Sofie Osler speaks out after a quiet, uneventful competition so far

pineapples

Just...complete bullshit, and loads of it

MetaNarrativesFTL

Tinðer

Freja, 27

Olympic Village, Baseton Active Just Now

by **Southern Yugoslavia** » Sun Jan 18, 2015 2:07 am

DAY 8: Laiatan suffers multiple defeats, hopes rising
For ZRN, Mikhail Tsurenov

BASETON - Not a single Laiatanese athlete medaled today, a day which many thought Laiatan could potentially come away with two gold medals. Short track speed skaters Artyom Zharkov and Anastasia Grachyov ultimately failed in their medal attempts, coming in fifth place and sixth place respectively in their respective events. Neither athlete could really explain what happened, but both eventually came to the conclusion that they "didn't bring their best" at a time where they should've.

The Men's Curling Team suffered yet another extremely close defeat today against Britonisea 6-5. With today's loss, advancement out of the group stage is practically impossible. Nevertheless, all athletes received standing ovations from their fans in the crowd. After all, competing in the Olympics is a huge feat in and of itself. The Laiatanese people are keeping their heads high following a series of losses in hopes better days are right around the corner.

"We've got plenty of hope coming up in these next few days," Konstantin Ostapyuk said in an interview earlier today. "Our women's hockey team is doing better than anyone expected, plus we've got the advantage of playing the lowest seeded team."

The Women's National Hockey Team has remained undefeated throughout the group stage, and is looking to continue this winning streak into the elimination stage when they play #16 Darmen. Laiatanese attention for snowboarding is soley on flag bearer Alexi Zaytsev, who is in the finals for snowboard cross tomorrow.

Will Zaytsev resuscitate Laiatan's medal hopes after falling today from fifth place to seventh? How will the men's ice hockey team do? Can they even get into the Round of 16? What about the women's curling team? Can they secure their advancement out of the group stage tomorrow as well? We'll just have to find out.

Gaute haufen und gaute streibeck.

by **Weisstal** » Sun Jan 18, 2015 5:26 am

On a very challenging track as the one the Republican organisers had laid out, it was already clear from the first moment onwards that we would be facing a long race in which one by one, competitors would drop out of the main group. Any attempt to go ahead and make a dent proved to be a kamikaze action in the end, as was bitterly demonstrated by Ernst Traxel. The youngest of the participating trio of Weisstaller athletes had attempted to break up the pack with a firm attack after only twelve kilometres, had managed to find two collaborators in Kuno Freud and Jeremy Hunter, but had been blown back to the peloton only half an hour later. No surprise as the constant follow up of steep hills and technically challenging downhill wore out the bodies of minds of these competitors to the Olympic classical event.

Herbert Wernke attempted to keep up with the canny pace set up by the duo of SkiRobs who fly the flag for the Slawic Union. Behind them, a group of twelve had assembled and amongst them, he still had his compatriot Schorsch Desterding. It was a course of events Herbert would have signed for ahead of the competition. In the morning, Desterding had been quite frustrated over his eighth spot in the skiathlon, something he hadn’t hesitated to toot about that he could have ended up higher. The cocky lady-killer tended to talk as rashly as he skied, but had found a proper balance today. Usually, he would try to tear the group apart, but he had learned enough of the international level to keep himself in the shades. Something he hadn’t done the night before when he had claimed that a medal would be his.

On the other hand, it was quite a surprise to Herbert that he was still keeping up with the pace here. It was his third event already and this morning, he had felt that both the biathlon and skiathlon has asked a lot of his arsenal. But on the bright side, this was his kind of race. A flat pace in which it was a matter to stay shy of the red zone, it fit him like a glove.

“Herbs!” Schorsch yelled, as all were incapable of proper talking by now.

Wernke slowed down a little, moved to the right trail trying to pick up the slipstream of Turner and moved besides his compatriot. A little nod indicated that he was ready.

“You attack. I finish it.”

Obviously no one could blame Schorsch on his lack of proper use of sentences, that’s not the kind of thing that worries someone forty kilometres into such an event. It seemed the regular course of affairs as you still had two cards in your hand as a nation, something only Chiata, the Isula guys and Slawic duo had up their sleeve at the moment. But Herbert was well aware that it was a sacrifice to his Olympic dream. Attacking in these circumstances was giving up your chance of a medal.

He was already used as being the solid number two next to the flamboyant Desterding, the boring alternative to the victorious star. His fairness, sportsmanship and positive mentality had earned him quite some respect in the sporting world, but it didn’t feel the cabinet. Don’t get it wrong, Wernke had won his fair share of prices already, but seldom did a nasty trick to add a trophy to that list. To the contrary, he accepted well if he was the lesser man at a given day and took second or third with a smile. But playing the second violin at the Olympics... He hesitated.

“Too soon,” he tried to divert the attention. But Desterding knew him long enough to spot the deeper meaning of his words.
“No medals,” he cried, “we’re f’ed.”

It was a trick as old as the street. Someone like Desterding, who bathes in national titles could get away with a result where they both had tried for their own and failed to make it. The odds were in favour of him ending higher up the ranks in that case and ‘it could’ve been a medal with some more help’ was easily said. Wernke, on the other hand, couldn’t fall back on that, especially as son of the delegation leader. There was only one chance he had if he would walk that road and that’s getting a medal.

Wernke only nodded and moved back forward. For an instant, Desterding thought that he would get it his way and that Herbert was loading his cannon, but it quickly became clear that he was simply following Joey McGuire, the Isulan who was a dangerous outsider in this group for the title.

Time went by and it was clear that no one dared to throw his hand. As the sign with the last kilometre moved past, eleven cross-country skiers were still in that pack, with CC-2 putting in a high pace. With a little hill coming up, Desterding couldn’t hold back his second nature. It was a rush to the summit, quickly acquiring the support of Thant and Davidsson. They took all possible risks in the downhill, narrowly avoiding a crash. The remaining once had looked at one another for an instant, always a dangerous situation.

Wernke was swearing under his breath, well aware that he had to protect the attack here and as SkiRob CC-2 was worn out, CC-1, Ho Maria, BlueYaks, Turner, McGuire and Soykeri would probably hesitate to burn their hands and medal chances to a chase. Eventually it was McGuire who gave in to this little game of chicken or who took his responsibility, depending on the point of view. The Chiatan tore the group to a line as he picked up the trio where Desterding still did all the hard work.

Last stretch up the hill and that was the cue for Davidsson. He moved out, Thant followed and Desterding... Saw his medal drop out of his hands. He did frantic attempts to follow but going downhill into the stadium, he was almost overtaken by Turner and the others. While Thant and Davidsson challenged one another for eternal glory, Herbert Wernke tried to keep his nerves together. As if he had eyes on his back, he anticipated a last-second attack by CC-1, followed him in the inside of the last corner and skied as if devil and hell were on his heels. Stroke by stroke, he closed in on him and by the time he crossed the line, he could’ve had enough time to lift a hand in the air... Herbert Wernke picked up the third bronze medal for Weisstal.

by **Electrum** » Sun Jan 18, 2015 5:29 am

X Winter Olympics Coverage - Network ENN - Day 9 - Highlights Show Transcript

Sam Pace: What a day we've had today, we've won three more gold medals, catapulting us right up to second on the ladder!

Ed McCoy: Yes, no longer do we have to skip from tenth to Electrum, but we're on the ladder proper~

Sam Pace: Electrum sits in second place with 5 gold, 8 silver and 2 bronze, winning three gold and a silver today.

Ed McCoy: Before we get to the highlights, here's a word from our sponsor, Electrum Bank International with Redd Zeeland, one of our short track skaters which won gold today.

Prerecorded Segment
Announcer: Current Olympic Champion Red Zeeland for the Electrum Bank International--

Redd Zeeland: Choosing which diversified joint holding stock company to choose from is a bit like short track skating. I'm here on behalf of Electrum Bank International to talk about your superannuation's variance of hedged portfolio. That's why I choose them for suiting my macroeconomic high-growth financing needs. They provide extensive wealth-creating retirement holdings - now that is unbelievable! I've seen many people over the years choosing the wrong consolidated reporting with the incorrect correlation coefficient - you've got to select the right consolidated reporting techniques! Whether you're talking about liquidity ratios or superannuation, the EBI is fast and strong - a bit like my skating. That's why I choose Electrum Bank International.

Sam Pace: Um, yes. Anyways, we're with roving reporter Christina Rodriguez, who is at the skating track as I understand it, Christina?

Christina Rodriguez: Yes, I'm at the SkateDome, where we've won two gold medals! Oh my god I think I'm going to collapse!

Ed McCoy: Tone down the drama Christina...

Christina Rodriguez: Ah right, I'm with 500m final winner Redd Zeeland, and 1000m final winner Mary Quentin, and on the last day of short track skating, we have beaten all odds! First, let's look at the highlights, and then I'll interview them.

Short Track Highlights
Maxine Day: First up, is the 500m final, mixed bag of competitors - Maĉia in stunning form - and Nico Heap is a favourite. Electrumite Redd Zeeland is a surprise entrant, having crashed out in the 1k, joined with him is Taeshan's John Williams who won in a photo finish against Red, Zharkov is in there, and a Pervert Chaser. And bang! Their off, Redd to a fast start, coming in second, and Maĉia up front - he's dictating the race, Heap and Zharkov are fading ever so slightly, two laps to go in this pure sprint race - Redd, what is he doing! He's getting in on the inside, Maĉia tries to squeeze him out, but it's all over! Oh my god, Zeeland is in the lead, and he's furthering his speed! Williams straight on his tail, and Zeeland gets first! Macia I think has just made it past Williams and those are the medal winners.

Maxine Day: In our final race for the day, and it's the women's 1000m race, Mary Quentin, the last of the Quentin sisters, and who excruciatingly got 4th in the relay with her sisters is shooting for gold. She's in stunning form and she might have just peaked at the right time, with Lady Soldier GUGUGAGA being the only person who beat her. Republican van Gemeren was the other person in Quentin's race to advance, and so did Laitanese Grachyov, Patistani Hafiz and Kytlerian Slijngaard - now that's a mouthful. Great expectations for van Gemeren, and big cheers, while boos for Quentin. Simple start, Slijngaard takes the early lead - Hafiz looks to be a threat and now storms ahead, now van Gemeren and Quentin move up to second and third, pushing Slijngaard to fourth, and four laps to go - very quick race, can Quentin hold on for a medal spot? Hafiz now burnt out and losing ground, first overtaken by van Gemeren, then Quentin and Slijngaard, just way too much power - an amateur mistake. Two laps to go and the home crowd is going loud, could this be another medal for them? van Gemeren looking back, she sees a rebounding Quentin who has bade her time, the second fastest qualifier - can she steal it from the last lap? An audacious move on the inside.... and it connects! She's in and storming through, first place for Electrum amid boos from the crowd.

Christina Rodriguez: Alright, first up is Mary Quentin, and Mary, how did it feel to win!

Mary Quentin: I felt like 'IN YOUR FACE' to everyone! Because I beat my sisters (though I still love them), I beat those who said I couldn't do it, and I proved those Republicans wrong. The way they changed their faces when they saw I won!

Christina Rodriguez: What are you going to do now?

Mary Quentin: What do you mean? What type of question is that! It's the end of the Olympics, and I can't stand this place anymore! The way people stare at me on the streets... now that's what I call unholy. I'm going straight home, without collecting 200 dollars, thank you very much.

Christina Rodriguez: Well, that's a shame we won't see you in the Closing Ceremony. I suppose it's in solidarity for the feminist group?

Mary Quentin: That's right. And besides, I came here to steal gold, so I'm happy I did it legally, alright see ya!

Christina Rodriguez: Um, okay... Now we have Redd Zeeland, and in 40.9 seconds you won your first medal!

Redd Zeeland: Yes, that's right, it was really fast. I got myself on in the inside of Macia, and sneaked it through to the end. A precision skate if you will.

Christina Rodriguez: And what are you going to do with the gold medal now that you have it?

Redd Zeeland: I'm contacting my friends in the Electrum Bank International, and seeing the commodity prices for gold, and see if my effort today was worth it, or I'm just selling the medal.

Christina Rodriguez: Really?

Redd Zeeland: You know what they say, time is money, and the EBI saves a lot of your time when you invest in our portfolios, come and give them a call....

Christina Rodriguez: And there you have it... Redd and Mary winning a gold medal. Back to y'all in the studio.

Sam Pace: That was interesting. Onto more results, and in a departure from tradition, the fifty kilometre classical cross country race was run today, instead of the last day, but Thom Thant from Electrum won, winning in two hours and five minutes and thirty six seconds. 2 seconds later was Davidsson from Muriburiland, and Wernke for Weisstal comes next. Although it was held today, methinks that the medal ceremony will be in the closing ceremony, so Thant will have to wait just a while longer for the medal. And of course... the Electrum anthem will be played at the closing ceremony too. That will be great, won't it! Angela is at the end of the course, and please tell us about what happened!

Angela Simmons: Thom Thant's gone out for the day, I think he'll be tired as he's just raced a three hour race, but this is so much more than a marathon. This is fifty kilometres. A technically challenging course with lots of uphill sections, sure to test anyone. Thant hit the ground running, and around halfway through the race, he was part of a leading pack of twelve, which would narrowly miss the peloton catching up to them at the end. At one of the hills near the finish, SkiRob number two lead the pack, but Thant and Davidsson did better on the downhill, finding that sweet spot. SkiRob would then be worn out, such is the life of someone who just uses too much energy trying to stride ahead, up another incline, and Davidsson would be the first to make a move. But Thant would soon follow, but it was a pushover really, Thant just found energy from seemingly out of nowhere, to get in front Davidsson, and he would hold on comfortably to get gold - Desterding frightened after losing what he just built up. Davidsson found his way to second, and the other Weisstal skiier, Wernke shrugged off a late finish from SkiRob number 1 to get the bronze. An enthralling race from start to finish. Ed?

Ed McCoy: In other news, Jennifer Alton and Amanda Prospero were seeded 2nd and 3rd in the Snowboard Cross, Nixon in 9th, Thames in 50th. Regis Hitchener qualified for the snowboard cross in the men's side. Pint, Kim and Zulkovic are sitting on 2nd, 6th and 8th in the Women's skeleton, and the Nordic Combined team came fourth, missing out, meaning Electrum won't be getting any medals in that sport. Lisa Tran, who won bronze in the aerials at City Centre, failed to qualify along with Ludlam, but Wu and Appleby made it to the finals for the men's side.

Sam Pace: Greg Gregson is in first place for the figure skating, Silver-and-bronze medallist Susilo Awais is 8th, and Matthew Corby is 12th. Sophia Antioch definitely feeling the Iesus Christus luck in the air, as she got silver in the Women's Super-G. Finally, we qualified in the men's curling, and we'll be hoping to do the same tomorrow for the women's. Finally, onto Jennifer Byrne with the social media update.

Jennifer Byrne: Yes, and we've seen a lot of tweets, especially from Rosalind Corby, Electrum's former sports minister, who resigned in the last election to pursue her sporting career - came fourth in the relay, and fifth in the large hill. Here's some of her tweets:

Rosalind_Corby: I'm really proud for my team, I did this to prove to myself that anyone, no matter how old can still be an Olympian 1/2

Rosalind_Corby: ...and that you should always follow your dreams, no matter what people say.

Jennifer Byrne: Nice words from former Minister Corby, who was one of the founders of the Institute of Sport, which has been an instrumental success in the last Summer Olympics as well as this one. Finally, some tweets from Queenie Feng, who came to prominence last year after her meme and acronym-laden interview with Christina Rodriguez. She seemed to fulfill her own prophecy:

QU33NIEF3NG: I SED MUCH MEDAL, AND I GOT MUCH MEDAL

QU33NIEF3NG: J00 N00bs WTF! whatevs l0s3rs! I has a silver medal! #OLYMPICKS

Jennifer Byrne: That was interesting. Alright, and that's all for me today.

Sam Pace: Thanks for watching see you next time. Up next on this channel is the rerun 50km race.... all three hours of it. Switch to another channel if you want, and after that will be the skating.

Ed McCoy: See you tomorrow morning for another day of events.

by **Transalpine Republic** » Sun Jan 18, 2015 8:33 am

High Speed Rail Line Opened
Links Ingolstadt with Geneva

A high speed rail project connecting Transalpine Republic's largest cities has been long in the making when voters approved it what seems like an eternity ago. Now, fifteen years later, that dream has finally become a reality as government officials started the first train off in Geneva to finish the massive undertaking.

When a core of activists first conceived the project all the way back in 1997, it was only a small thought in the minds of most Transalpinians. While the activists that conceived it billed it as a necessity for Transalpine Republic's growing population, most people at that time opposed the project, citing its large cost. "1997 was a time when most Transalpininans thought that their rail system was adequate," Transalpine Rail President Valerie Bouchard opined. "It got people from place to place reasonably fast, and most people agreed it did not need improvement." When the activists tried to put the measure for a referendum in 1998, thinking it might have enough support, it failed - badly, not even getting enough signatures to be put on the ballot, at a time when voters viewed the government as a profligate monstrosity spending millions of taxpayer francs with not a centime to show for their investment.

However, an incident in 1998 changed all that. An aging train on old, rusty tracks near Valschloss got stuck with over a hundred passengers on board. Although there were no injuries, it took engineers over two hours to get the train back and moving again. "It was a horrible experience," Wilhelm Peter moaned. "We were stuck on that train for so long with all of those people and we had no idea what to do." The incident sent reverberations through the railroad industry - Transalpine Republic's railroads were old, outmoded, rusty, and in need of an overhaul. In addition, Transalpine Republic's rising number of riders on the railroads left many concerned about overcrowding as well as speed. The activists, which had now coalesced into the Alpine Plain Rail Project, were ecstatic.

The Project was put to a vote in 2000 after conceptual details were worked out with Transalpine Rail. It passed, by a large margin - 65% in favor and 32% opposed. Although some voters were turned off by the projects large cost - over $2 billion francs - over an over-300 kilometer route, most people felt that it was a good investment to hedge against Transalpine Republic's rising population and increasingly spread-out workforce. Construction began in 2002, with ground breaking occurring just outside the capital of Valschloss. The route was very simple from the outset - the rail line would start in Geneva's main railway station, head along the southern border of Lake Geneva, stopping in Chevrec, heading through the northern area of the Alps, skirting the national parks south of Valschloss, heading straight across the Alpine Plain with stops in Breitenstadt, Agustau, Horen, and Ennesau before finally ending in Ingolstadt on the shores of Lake Constanz. Of course, the project was designed to connect with Transalpine Republic's already large railroad system.

Although air travel was becoming a major competitor, organizers felt the rail project had an advantage over air travel. "Air travel can be somewhat of a hassle," Hendrik Zimmerman, head of the Alpine Plain Rail Project, opined. "Train travel, on the other hand, is affordable and easily accessible." He did concede, however, that air travel might be a shorter transit time, but he argued that the rail line's low cost was an advantage, and the more rigorous screening procedures at an airport added to the travel time.

Because the project was on the relatively flat Alpine Plain, organizers did not have to worry about tunnels, steep inclines, or cog railways because of the flat terrain. The only mountains near the proposed rail site were the Pays d'en Haut, but organizers successfully avoided them, since they were in a national park, of course. For future sporting development in the ski resorts of that area, organizers planned several small spur lines to connect the areas to the main line. After kinks had been worked out and the final route approved, construction began in earnest. Work was slow but steady on the main areas of the line for several years, but the Great Recession impeded funding and work slowed to a crawl for four years while the government got its finances together. At this point, only the line between Breitenstadt and Agustau was left uncompleted; organizers competed two railway companies against each other to see who could build the most line. The challenge was successful, and the companies completed it in record time - about six months. With the construction finished, Transalpine officials bought rolling stock - fast Karlberg models from Eslovakia- and integrated the line into Transalpine Republic's main rail network.

Today, Transalpine officials, including President David Vonn, set off on the inaugural train ride of just under one hour from Geneva to Ingolstadt, without any stops. "This is a great day for Transalpine commerce!" President Vonn spoke. "This railroad project has greatly improved the state of our railways and I am proud of all the work they have achieved. Commuters now have their commutes drastically shaved and tourists can enjoy all we have to offer at a minimal expense." Several trains will run each day, some with straight Geneva-Ingolstadt service, others with stops in just Valschloss and Ennesau, and others which stop in the major cities along the route. "It's not just a normal train - it's a high speed train," project President Zimmerman said. "Therefore, we tried to limit the number of stops to as few as possible."

Public reception to the completion has been very good. Uli Hirsch, a doctor, was extremely ecstatic.
"I live in Ingolstadt - it's a nice city and all, but I have patients all the way in Valschloss. This rail project slashes their commute to my office in half." Observers also said that the project would increase Transalpine Republic's economy. In addition to providing jobs for laborers who worked in the construction as well as engineers, drivers, and technicians who work on the new line, the increased commerce brought on by the rail line would help the economy, not to mention the increase of tourists who would see the rail line as a plus for their touring adventures - how about a side trip after the ski resort? "Overall, this railway project has been much touted, long awaited, and finally here - a momentous day for the Transalpine Republic," President Vonn said at his speech, "and I am glad to finally open this project to the public." At that moment, fireworks exploded, and a new era in Transalpine transportation began.

by **Free Republics** » Sun Jan 18, 2015 8:46 am

Logo created by Yttribia

Another eventful day of action lies ahead. Its the cutoff for the 9th day of the X Winter Olympics!

by **Gregoryisgodistan** » Sun Jan 18, 2015 11:23 am

Gregoryisgodistan Wins Three More Medals

It was a glorious and holy day for Gregoryisgodistani athletes today, winning three more medals in the nation we can only call the Unholy Republican Empire because that's what they are. The first medal came in the women's 4x5 km cross-country relay, where Slave Catcher 9128ADNAND, Slave Catcher SAHDN, Slave Catcher SATANEID and Slave Catcher SAHDHA took the silver medal with a time of 55:42.9 in the relay. After the victory, the four of them wrapped themselves in Gregoryisgodistani flags, joined hands, and sang the Gregoryisgodistani national anthem in front of the Republican fans, who booed them loudly. Then one of them took out a statue of Lord Almighty Gregory that their coach had kept for them and they all bowed to it as is the law for them to do. They were crying tears of joy that Lord Almighty Gregory had enabled them to reach this moment. Then came the ceremony, where they were again booed by the fans, so loudly and continuously that it drowned out the introduction of the gold medalists from Muriburiland. Samuel Izmailov again refused to shake hands with the athletes, to nobody's surprise. Slave Catcher SAHDHA told the state media 'This is the greatest day of my life. We are all proud to be Gregoryisgodistanis and win the medal in hostile territory. We are the most hated nation here, and we like it that way. Sure, this medal is only silver and not gold, but to get it in front of heathens who desire our death, well, it might as well be gold. Glory, Glory Lord Almighty Gregory! May he vanquish and destroy Consul Kulseth and Samuel Izmaiov!"

In the men's aerials final, two Gregoryisgodistanis advanced to the final round, but neither of them could medal. Slave 289IASJDNASNFD came in fourth and Slave HNANDNA came in fifth, amid more allegations that Chairman Samuel Izmailov had bribed or threatened the judges to give them poor scores which prevented them from winning a medal. Witnesses claimed Izmailov said "Don't let the slaves win or you will be my slaves forever" to the judges before pointing his personal nuclear hand grenade gun at them and threatening to kill them if they didn't comply, before running their dead bodies over with his personal tank, shooting holes in their dead bodies with his personal AK-47, and then contacting "Eye-ee-zus" to send them to "hell." The judges complied and the Gregoryisgodistanis failed to win a medal in spite of flawless performance, which the witnesses claim is totally true. It is. The Gregoryisgodistani government would never lie to its people. If you think it does, we will kill you and your family. And that's not a lie.

But Gregoryisgodistan would win more medals today anyway. Youth 488ABF took third in the men's snowboard cross finals, celebrating his victory by throwing a bowl of gruel on a mannequin dressed as Samuel Izmailov then repeatedly punching it in the face. He then contacted his pervert chaser friends who used their pervert chaser knives to behead the mannequin. They would have dickapitated and castrated it, but it wasn't anatomically correct. Or maybe Izmailov really does have nothing down there. It wouldn't be surprising. Elsewhere in snowboarding, Youth 93499AD9ASDUDAB advanced to the final of the women's snowboard cross, to be held tomorrow.

In the ski jumping women's normal hill qualifying, all four Gregoryisgodistani athletes qualified in top position. Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Petrus's Father Is Dead Woohoo! finished first in qualifying, Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Veronica The Queen Must Be Blown To Bits finished fifth, Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory We Shall Kill Queen Of Saintland finished 11th, and Loyal Friend of Lord Almighty Gregory Petrus's Mother Is An Old Hag finished tied for 14th. All of them will move on to the final tomorrow. They all have great medal hopes.

Gregoryisgodistan's final medal of the day came in speed skating, in the men's 5000 m final, where Pervert Chaser SAJXANANAJ won the silver with a time of 6:16.27. It was the first silver medal awarded in speed skating these Games, and it went to a pervert chaser. A few hours later, as Pervert Chaser SAJXANANAJ was walking to Olympic Stadium for the medal ceremony, he saw a streaker run by him wearing nothing at all. Pervert Chaser SAJXANANAJ knew he was planning to sneak into the stadium and streak during the medal ceremony, and that he must do his duty as a pervert chaser. So, he took out his pervert chaser knife, chased after the streaker, and dickapitated and castrated him. The man now had no privates and was turned over to Republican police for public nudity and attempted streaking. The one good thing you can say about the Church of Saintland backed government is that they don't take these crimes lightly. They thanked Pervert Chaser SAJXANANAJ for turning the man in and didn't even charge him with assault in the dickapitating and castrating incident. He was then allowed to receive his medal in the medal ceremony, though Izmailov still didn't shake his hand even though he saved the ceremony from a most untimely disturbance.

Gregoryisgodistan is allegedly in fifth in the overall medal table due to the biased and discriminatory decision to put Chiata and Laitanese foundation ahead of them since they had more goals. Those two nations combined have fewer medals than Gregoryisgodistan, but some infidel decided they should be ranked higher because Republicans like them better. We should be ranked higher and we demand the organizers make us ranked higher.

by **The Sword Bloke** » Sun Jan 18, 2015 1:56 pm

THE SURVIVORS
A 1-0 Ice Hockey loss to the Holy Republican Empire, coupled with Gregoryisgodistan beating Sheffland 6-1, now means that the Swordean Ice Hockey team are now eliminated and that the Men's Curling team, who've reached the last 16, are The Sword Bloke's final medal hopes at their first Olympics. The Curling draw for the final 16 has not been drawn yet, with the side going on a shock run seeing them 2nd in their group, behind Electrum. Well, that's today, another disappointing day for Swordeans.

by **Schutzenphalia and West Ruhntuhnkuhnland** » Sun Jan 18, 2015 3:51 pm

Selection of articles from Der Nordschutzenphalenglaubreiterfluchtschlamterkrötische Flümederthelweiderverlautzällegerwißmeinschlaftsörbschlimmelbeobachter.

Generic Athlete Profile Bandwagon: Jonas Sommer

Gabler

Das Carnivale Des Hamsters

Completely Missing The Point Of The Olympics Medals Table Update: Pressure on alpine skiers after SOA announces target "half met"

by **Todd McCloud** » Sun Jan 18, 2015 6:41 pm

A Pair of Near Misses
Reporting for V3 News Services, Rin Slakori

BASETON - The string of 4th place finishes continues for Vekaiyu, where skater Isoli Yestingostru was dogged early on by a relatively poor (by his own admission) short program routine. The disappointing thing is, his performance was excellent aside from a fall on his second element, which was planned to be a quad toe loop / triple toe loop combination. A triple lutz triple toe loop combination saved his score, and he finished his routine with a change foot combination spin.

Even though the skater had difficult time making up for his score in the short program, he made up for it in the free skate, perfecting a difficult element which featured a quad toe loop / triple toe loop combination, which he had difficulty with prior. His only problems came from a double-footed landing on a triple axel. His score improved and made things interesting Greg Gregson, the skater from Electrum who had difficulty in the free skate, but in the end Yestingostru fell just two points out off of the podium.

Skeleton, an event in which athletes run head-first down a slope and obtain speeds upwards of 140 km/hr, featured Sera Sulakeri from the Kunnat Highlands in Vekaiyu. In her first two runs she raced herself into third place, and seemed to be getting the hang of the course with a strong 53.88 time. The start to her third run was good, but she struck the track wall on the first major turn, losing vital hundredths of a second. Her time fell to 54.06. On the fourth run, a slight wobble prior to the turn did nothing to prevent her from grazing it yet again, and her time increased further to 54.16, giving her a total time score of 3:36.21. While she could only muster a 5th place showing, her runs gave the Vekaiyuns in the crowd a lot to cheer for, as it was a tight race to the very end.

"If we all did it over again, I can almost guarantee the medals would all be different," she said, noting that one second is all that separated first to tenth. "I'm proud of my performance. I did the best I could in the given situation."

Vekaiyu continues to search for that elusive fifth medal in an annual winter competition, and has fallen to fifteenth overall in the standings. However, there is much to look forward too - speed skating and more figure skating events are just on the horizon.

by **Listonian Socialist Republic** » Sun Jan 18, 2015 6:55 pm

First Listonian Athlete Competes
Reporting for Listonia Sun, Viktor Uleskegori

It was a day to remember for Listonians everywhere as the Listonian-born Temotu Legavensu competed in the men's figure skating event to finish 28th in a field of 95 athletes. The native of Cestinglavoiga may not have been the most talented skater to take the ice today, but he won the hearts of the Listonian citizens present with his jumps and twirls. He did not choose extremely difficult moves, but also did not fall in both the short program and the free skate routine.

"I am extremely proud," he gushed as the Star interviewed him after his times were announced. "I didn't even dream of doing this a few months ago, and now it's a reality. I cannot thank the Listonians back home for giving me all the support I could have ever needed, and Father Stapen Evesuni for believing in us athletes."

His routine brought the citizens of Listonia great pride indeed. Five years ago, Listonia was not a nation. It had to survive three major wars, trade embargoes, and coups in order to prove its strength. And the appearance of a talented young Listonian skater only made us stronger. Nations across The East Pacific watched his routines with deep amaze. Indeed, the nation has slowly moved from backwater to bold, especially after cementing itself as a member of the Council of Nations, the Kerilo Accord, and The Vekaiyun Union.

We as Listonian citizens hope that our competitors demonstrate the never-say-die attitude of the Listonian spirit and bring glory to their countrymen at home! May our athletes bring glory to the nation!

by **Transalpine Republic** » Sun Jan 18, 2015 8:40 pm

Valentin Bernatt was not, you could say, in the happiest of moods. True, his team was in sixth place at the Olympics - an impressive feat to say the least. True, there were still two more weeks of competition still to go, with several defending medalists still with the chance to compete for another dose of glory, that euphoric drug. What was not true was that his team was improving - in fact, it was stagnating. After Day 3, where the team won two gold medals and several other medals, the team did not win any more gold medals. None. Nada. Nil. Zip. Zilch. How many more ways could you say zero? Sure, there were a couple of silvers and bronze, but the team won no more gold medals, as other nations - Electrum, Laiatan, Gregoryisgodistan, Chiata - kept up the pace with more golds than Transalpine Republic. It really irked Valentin for his team - which had put in hours upon hours, days upon days, weeks upon weeks of training - not to win medals, in favor of slaves and other athletes who seemed to just waltz in, take their medals, and then fade from everyone's attention. (Were they holograms? Valentin wondered.)

The team from the Free Republics had it all. It seemed to Valentin that they really didn't practice or train - all they did was pray and boo. Every time someone else (especially someone from Gregoryisgodistan) won a medal - boo! Every time someone gained a position on a Free Republican competitor, you could hear a pin drop in the stadium. Either that, or a chorus of boo's. No wonder Valentin was disheartened - his competitors were being booed out of the stadium. There was nothing he could do to change that - his cries of obvious favoritism in judging, distractions caused by the audience, and just plain skulduggery all fell on deaf ears. Some of them probably were just him spouting, some needed to be taken with an ocean's worth of salt, and some of them probably came from that morning's coffee.

Either way, Valentin Bernatt needed something to cheer him up. The comedy club down the street - only telling religious jokes, and maybe a couple of bad puns. "HEY! I saw a A++ Movie about Counsel Kulseth that was so good -" "How good was it?" "I don't need to say anything!" HA. HA. HA. Valentin was not laughing, and he wasn't sure whether that was satire or genuine praise. Of course, if it was satire, the offender would probably be thrown into a gulag for a thousand years. You didn't mess with the Church here. Listening to music in his hotel room - too boring. Drinking in the hotel lobby - he never had it in him. He still needed a way to let off a lot of steam - the anger was building up inside him like a hot air balloon inflating.

At that moment, a messenger from the hotel rang his doorbell. There was no response. Another ring, this time accompanied by some loud knocks. No response. A third ring, and Valentin grabbed the door knob and yanked the door open. "What is it?" he growled. "Sir, this is for you - top priority, it says." "Where?! I don't see it!" he barked gruffly. "Right there in big red letters on the envelope, sir. Are you drunk?" "Who, me, drunk?" Valentin said, and he grabbed the envelope. "Thank you very much!" he said with a generous dollop of sarcasm and slammed the door quickly. He turned on the radio, tuned to a rap station, and cranked it up to full blast. The response from next door - "Hey, my kids are trying to sleep!" Valentin ignored it. Who sends their kids to sleep at or before 10:00 at night, he wondered. Oh, yeah, most parents. He continued to open up the letter with a gruff rip. It didn't need to be said that his letter opening skills didn't have much finesse.

The letter was addressed to Valentin Bernatt - Head of the Transalpine Republic Olympic Committee. It was marked URGENT - TOP PRIORITY, in big red letters. He sat down on his bed and began to read it. It was terse and succinct, just like him.

Mr. Bernatt:
Transalpine Republic to start Alpine Skiing World Cup. Possibly to bid for XI Olympics. Improve performance.
David Vonn - President, Transalpine Republic

Whether the letter would work was anyone's guess. But by whatever god you believe in, Valentin was going to make sure that he would do his best to do his part to help President Vonn to do his job. He hastily scribbled a note on hotel stationary -

Athletes:
The success of Transalpine Republic as a sporting nation rests on your accomplishments as athletes. President Vonn holds you in the highest confidence - please live up to them.
Valentin Bernatt

That would probably do it for today, he reasoned, it's time to go to bed. As he got in the shower, he started thinking. What had they done wrong this Olympics? What could they do better next year? Maybe the figure skaters were putting too much work into the short program. All figure skating athletes to have competed scored well on the short program, only to flop on the free routine. Roger Marquardt and Verena Schulz had performed well - maybe too well. They made first place in all three pairs events up until the final free skate. Either they were daydreaming about gold medals or they weren't concentrating, but they crashed in the middle of their routine. They didn't recover, only placing fifteenth. In the Alpine Skiing events, the skiers weren't taking enough risks - to hedge against possible snow problems, they were skiing to far around gates. Same thing in the snowboarding and freestyle skiing disciplines - Bernatt was of the opinion that they stuck to cliched, tired, old tricks. All of those deficiencies would have to change if the Transalpine Team is to win any more gold medals.

Bernatt still had hope for his athletes despite their problems. He knew they were among the best trained athletes in the world. He knew they were capable of achieving gold. And while they might not ever catch up to the Free Republics, they might get up to second or third. And there would always be next year - if President Vonn held out, the next Olympics could be held on home soil. That would definitely be a bonus. Whatever may come in the weeks ahead, though, Valentin decided he was getting tired as he finished his preparations. As he turned off his lamp and got into bed, he wondered what surprises the next day might hold. It would be a new day with new opportunities. If only we could take them.... Valentin drifted off to sleep.

by **Kelssek** » Sun Jan 18, 2015 10:06 pm

The figure skaters had enjoyed some kind of depraved orgy last night, or at least the rumours were flying and known participants weren't telling. Jorrit had not been a participant and was in fact rather frustrated with Plan B. It was too awkward with a shared room - even if he knew the other occupant was going to be away, he'd always been paranoid about being walked in on and that hadn't changed in the five years since leaving the nest and ceasing to be a hormonal teenager. A couple days ago he'd tried a relatively quiet bathroom tucked away behind a weights room only to have someone get into the next stall barking instructions about executions and prune juice into his phone. With concentration impossible Jorrit had inked the chorus of Every Sperm Is Sacred onto the door with permanent marker, flushed, and pretended to have just been conducting regular business.

"What's up," he had nodded to the much older man as they met at the washbasin. The other guy ignored him and barely even washed his hands.

Jorrit picked a chocolate milk out of the vending machine and went back to his room. He opened the door to find much of the floor space taken up by a 1:200 scale model of the Ce540 widebody long-range passenger airliner.

by **Valanora** » Sun Jan 18, 2015 11:07 pm

Valanora Times
Champs Galore, No More?

Here in Valanora, we consider ourselves quite the experts at team based sports, as we consistently perform at high levels in them, such as football, basketball, hockey, and other various ones. This is demonstrated by the multitude of trophies from the various competitions that all of these sports have, from domestic to the national team levels, including being the champions in the Olympic Hockey and Curling. Coming into these games, our lads and lasses were considered favorites to repeat in these competitions once more, with the possibility of a fabled threepeat in the mens side of the hockey. Alas, in a strange turn of fate, the Calcuttas somehow managed to only win one of their five matches in the group stage and have massively crashed out and the hopes of that feat dashed with them. Perhaps their minds were on the WCoH set to begin after the Olympics or perhaps the feat of defending their championship once had made them not perform as well, whatever the case is, like the Marauders they have failed to live up to expectations and are seemingly now caught in quicksand.

Not all hope is lost though, as the reigning champions in the Women's Curling finished off the group stage with a perfect record, after besting Devonta in a close affair to close out group play and clinching the top seed overall. This means that in their Round of Sixteen tie, the girls will get to face off with the team from the Transalpine Republic, who were able to sneak in despite two losses on the merit of a positive score differential in the third place table. On the mens side, with a match to go in the group stage, they have clinched their advancement after defeating the insane organizational folks from Paripana and the women's hockey team will begin elimination play against Slavic Union as the overall 4th seed, after winning all three of their group stage matches as well.

Once dubbed the land of champions by our denizens, Valanora can not claim that anymore, yet it can restore some of that glean if those three teams continue to do well and medal, as is expected of them, though the men's hockey team is obviously a warning not to get overconfident on expectations. With two gold medals already, another three medals of any color would be a nice haul for the delegation, though another three gold would definitely make the VSC feel like the increased expense in a larger delegation was worth the effort. Unlike the fans and participants who are happy to play or to support the nation, the VSC sees everything just from a business venture. Perhaps that is where things have gone wrong lately, perhaps the small people need a larger voice in what makes Valanora and her national teams tick...

by **Electrum** » Mon Jan 19, 2015 12:47 am

Retrospective

Loreen Kim watched as the other athletes stood in the line, as always, to create tension, they would run things in reverse order. The fastest skeleton athletes would go last, the slowest first. She thought it was a terrible idea - it didn't do wonders for the nerves, and the pressure to win a medal was overwhelming. She stood by herself, away from her two teammates, Katarina Zulkovic, who was to run 77th in the skeleton, then Loreen herself would go 78th, Cathrine Jokumsen from Vermark, and then lastly, and the leader of the competition so far, Les Pint, who would be last on at 80th.

The Irad athlete would go down next, enjoying support from the home crowd - but she could not think. They had all promised each other to try their hardest, but Loreen had never felt so close in winning a medal before, and she was scared at the prospect. She was getting the nerves at the wrong time, right before her last run, she was scared, not for herself, but her teammates. What if all of them would fail? What if none of them got a medal, even though they took three of the fastest four on the track so far? Could she deal with the pressure? Was she going to win? Was she going to take the medal from someone more deserving, like Les, who had been working her butt off? So many questions, so little answers.

A gruff voice spoke up, "Katarina Zulkovic, you're up next." Katarina looked at both her teammates - first she glanced at Loreen, then at Pint. She mouthed a few words of good luck: "I hope we win all the medals... but if I don't, know that we worked all our hardest, despite the circumstances." Zulkovic sighed, and took her sled, and walked to the track. Loreen decided to keep herself distracted by watching the television screen, maybe looking at someone else do the track would settle her nerves? Zulkovic had a good start, got onto the sled a bit early, but it didn't matter, as she had a ripper pace. Stuck to the sweet spot on the bend, didn't touch the sides a single bit, really high top speed, and it would be the seventh fastest run in the whole competition thus far, 53.78. She launched into first place with 3:35.74.

"Lady, you're up." Loreen Kim was startled. She didn't expect to be next, but she looked at the starting order - and there she was. She had to beat Zulkovic by 0.08 seconds to get gold. A quick goodbye to the first-placed teammate, Les, and she walked to the start line. Her lungs wanted to scream, and her stomach wanted to throw up. Philosophical questions buzzed in her head at this point - What is the point of sport? Why am I doing this? Why do people like to race each other on sleds down a track? Too late to think of answers - this is now. She saw her coach - "Just do what she did. We might just sweep it! Good luck."

Loreen ran with all her might, her coach behind her screaming "FAST FAST FAST," she leaped onto her sled, a bit shaky, but no harm done. The next minute was a blur, but she daren't throw up, lest she wanted to make herself slower and lose the medal - she stared straight ahead, no cocking or slant in her head, as she turned, and turned, and turned. The boos in the crowd slowly drowned out her thoughts. She didn't know how she went, but she finally reached the end. She looked up, 53.82. It was enough, a fast run followed by another fast run, and she saw herself in gold medal position. With that, she knew she was guaranteed a medal. She sighed in relief as she made it to the winner's couch at the other end - where the Iradian athlete and Zulkovic were. She hugged Zulkovic, and wished her all the best, knowing that she could still be bumped off. Already, the Vermarkian was in progress down the track, her splits were just hugging Loreen's, but she hit the wall, and slowed down a bit - 54.22 - but still good enough for third.

Loreen and Zulkovic wished the Iradian athlete, Tamara good luck as the Vermarkian Cathrine Jokumsen made her way to her spot. This was it, it had all been set up perfectly. Two Electrumites on top, it didn't matter where Pint landed on the podium, it was going to be a sweep. At least, that was going to be the plan. The fastest athlete til last, and Loreen knew her time on the rightmost side of the couch was ticking down. She did some quick maths as the provisional results were shown for the last time, she needed 54.08 to get gold, 54.12 for silver, 54.37 for bronze. Easy enough right? But Loreen sensed something was wrong - Pint didn't run as fast as she did at the start (it would sooner turn out to be a cramp), then she hit the track wall as she didn't gain enough speed, the split was peeling away from Les. Loreen couldn't bare to look - this was the end of the line - and she knew she was going to get gold. But she willed for all her might, that Les would pull up and pull something out.... she heard the crowd... and they were cheering. It was over, Les Pint didn't complete the sweep.

The Vermarkian hugged the Electrumites, but they didn't reciprocate as well as they should of - their disbelief was painted on their faces - they hadn't achieved perfection. It would be Electrum, Electrum, Vermark. They saw Les Pint walk up from the track, the Electrumites shook away Cathrine Jokumsen and they went on to console Les. "I don't know what happened... I think it was a cramp," was the reason given. A million thoughts were processed in Loreen's head - no sweep - gold medal - you world champion - boos from the crowd - ceremony.... But she had done it. She won the gold medal, and there was no denying that. She would join her compatriot on the podium and hear the mighty Electrum anthem.

by **Southern Yugoslavia** » Mon Jan 19, 2015 1:02 am

"Za unser Sunheit!"

"Vasily, you lucky Fautzen!"

"Finish the bottle! It's bad luck to not..."

Memories of the celebration party were still fresh in Alexi's mind as he returned with coffee to his room in the Olympic Village where the bodies several other athletes were strewn across the carpet and furniture, almost as if a tornado had torn through the room. He took a mental note of who was laying around. Nikita Ivakin, snowboarding. Vasily Andreyev, men's ice hockey. Sasho Kozar, biathlon. Alya Gagolin and Anastasia Grachyov, women's short track. Ania Burdukovsky, women's ice hockey. Actually, she wasn't laying on the ground. She was taking photos and laughing to herself. She looked up to Alexi, giving him a nod.

"Morning, Ania."

"Good morning, Alexi. Congrats again on your medal."

"Thank you. Good luck in your game today. Gotta say, smart move on only taking that first shot."

Alexi said this with a laugh as he walked over to her, pulling a cup of coffee from the tray and handing it to her. She thanked him with a nod and a laugh, taking a sip from it. "Hey, even though we're playing the lowest seed doesn't mean we get to go play hungover. Bezukladnikov would've shot me." Alexi took his own cup and sat down next to her - after stepping over gold medalist Alya. "Yeah, I can understand it. Can't believe Vasily over there managed to get out of the group stage."

Ania laughed, taking another drink from her coffee. "Yeah, can't believe it. Maybe they'll actually start playing and learn how to be undefeated." She said confidently and with a look of superiority. Alexi rolled his eyes as he looked around the room, noting the stirring in a couple of the zombie-like athletes. Some coughing went on, and Sasho managed to get up - though he was on all fours. "Ohh... Mahimutter. I'm never drinking again."

The two on the couch laughed as Sasho struggled to get to his feet, using the wall as support. He sniffed the air, his eyes lighting up just a bit. "Coffee?" He stumbled over to the table to grab his cup before sliding back down the wall, taking a long drink from his cup of brown gold. He let out a sigh of relief, looking over the other athletes still asleep. "We really went all out..." He managed with a laugh, drinking down more of his coffee.

"Can you believe it?" Alexi asked, looking over at Ania. "Laiatan's first medalist." Sasho simply responded with a rather obscene gesture, which was laughed off by Ania and Alexi.

by **Weisstal** » Mon Jan 19, 2015 6:52 am

“So, gentlemen, tomorrow is the day.”

With three medals already in the bag, delegation leader Wernke looked even more relaxed than ever. Although according to official announcements there had been no target for the squad from Weisstal and sentences like ‘this is meant to be a learning experience’ had been the word of the day, the Grand Duke Gerolf IV had been quite detailed in what he had in mind. Avoiding embarrassment and ensure that they would come home with silverware had been the message.

Wernke was enough in the know and close enough to the Duke to know that he could use a booster to his popularity. The spread of democratisation had unfortunately reached the borders of the alpine republic as well and another claim that the autocracy still worked was most favourable. Partially, it had been part of the reason why his son Philipp, the honorary representative, had started his travel to the Holy Republican Empire only yesterday as the delegation did even better than expected.

Around the table, four heads nodded in agreement. On the left side of Helmut Wernke, the two skiers had lined up. Veteran Uwe Rinkenberger, already thirty-four but still the reigning national champ, was a thoughtful man, whose reputation of consistency went along splendidly with his receding hairline and calm eyes. Also partaking tomorrow was Dennis Wyss, almost a decade younger and a daredevil on the course. As had become customary, the participants the following day had dinner with the delegation leader and it was considered a token of good fortune.

The same went for the two skaters that completed the quintet. Both on and off the track, Torben Eschmann and Karsten Ahlmann had major difficulties with one another. Their career had gone along the same course and for years, both had had the upper hand at moments but these days, it was Ahlmann who could triumph over his slightly shorter opponent. The outgoing Ahlmann always had gathered more followers, more interest and as the results followed, he was unofficially crowned as the number one, even if the gap between both was close. With the results in mind, it even spurred a slightly brash remark from the man from Zweikirchen.

“I suggest, gentlemen, that we raise the glass on a fourth medal for the Weisstaller delegation.”

Some uneasy laughter ensued, but it was Wyss who tried to unnerve the situation.

“Well, to four medals, in that case!”

But Ahlmann, possibly enthused by a second glass of wine, dared to go a step further.

“If the circumstances are right, I can be close. And I even dare to say the same about you, Uwe, we’ve discovered that the Weisstaller standard of sports isn’t that far off of the multiversal one!”

While they tipped their glasses to one another and the one of Wernke, Eschmann looked slightly amused to Wyss. Without turning his glance away from the skater, he addressed all whilst raising his wine as well.

“Who would’ve thought that outsiders like us would grab medals,” Eschmann reminisced, “To outsiders, I say!”
“To outsiders!” four voices agreed.

But only Wyss really understood.

Some foreigners presumably would have complained about the weather but to Dennis Wyss, these were the kind of circumstances he had signed up for in advance. A drizzle of snow made the course only more challenging, but it was certainly possible to complete it with high speed as had been evidenced by the skilled performances of Bellefeuille, Foster and Trentino. Obviously, the home crowd enjoyed what their heroes were bringing to the course and that only was imperative to the atmosphere.

Wyss strapped on his goggles and checked what was lying in front of him. Although his eyes were locked to the first flag, somewhere to the right, he tried to let the whole course fly in front of him. Quite a harsh task as there hadn’t been a test run allowed but despite his relatively young age of twenty-five, he had seen enough snow in his life to get started.

He immediately got off to a good start and took the first few flags with grace, carving the snow as he had so oft prepared back at home. It was a very diverse track, with short and long passages quickly following one another and for Dennis, it was just what he would ask for. With every other turn, his speed rose and nothing seemed to could go wrong. A little over halfway, he had a minor mistake when he took one a few centimetres too wide, but that didn’t hamper him at all. Even to the contrary, Wyss had turned into a bullet by now.

Left… Right… Left… Wyss was entering the finish zone by now and the swelling noise of the crowd indicated that this was a splendid time. With the last flag passed, he made himself as aerodynamic as possible and tried to jump across the line, stopping the clock abruptly. Large yellow numbers indicated all he had to know and as a camera swung near him, he raised a fist. Number one… Hot seat.

Already for hours, Dennis was glued to this spot. Skier after skier had made his way down the hill and quite a few had discovered that it was a technical course. Amongst them was Rinkenberger, who for once had decided to take risks and at once found himself going down after four turns. Although it was with a meagre smile, he still congratulated Wyss whilst moving himself to the cooling down. But that was almost two hours ago and finally, we had arrived to the last five. With Dennis Wyss ‘the unknown Weisstaller’ still in the hot seat.

In one of the televisions lined up in that area, Wyss also had kept a close eye on the actions in the Skate Dome, where an epic duel had been fought in one of the early runs. Tsai and some Gregoryisgodistani had been lined up against one another, which obviously led to fireworks. The duo raised one another to an exceptional level and as it eventually saw the home favourite grab the top spot, the crowd was ecstatic. No one had been able to reach to their times, although Torben Eschmann did a courageous attempt. Struggling to push the pace one last time in the final laps had eventually parked him in sixth. That Ahlmann trailed behind with 23th, needing nearly eight seconds more to complete the distance, had painted a grin on the face of Wyss.

But that grin had turned into a frown by now as Jönsson, from Quakmybush, started his course. It was a smile for an instant when he missed the twelfth gate and at once decided to abandon the race, but his nerves were killing him. Ninety-eight down, four to go. But what kind of four… Jean-Luc Lacroix is a monument in winter sports. The press in Kelssek was starting to turn away from the hero of Neverend but Wyss had already spotted that he wasn’t too shabby in the downhill. Quite correctly so and as this course demanded the most of men, the giant of international sports rose to the occasion. Swift turning, impressive speed.

1 Dennis Wyss        32.56
2 Jean-Luc Lacroix   32.59   +0.03

Dennis couldn’t believe his own eyes. How did he ever get quicker down the hill than this monument of skiing. He had read about him, heard about him before but never had the chance to meet him. Every movement of Lacroix, as small as possible, was designed to fit the course. Wyss rose, trying to get as up close to the screen as possible, waiting for the letters to reappear.

1 Dennis Wyss        58.42
2 Jean-Luc Lacroix   58.46   +0.04

If they would have pasted his run on the one of Lacroix, it must have been as if two shadows were going down the hill. Ok, Dennis had won the Krabslaube, the most notorious Super-G race in the nation this year. But that was about it. He seldom managed to trump the best ones nationally, let alone the whole multiverse!

1 Dennis Wyss        1:14.08
2 Jean-Luc Lacroix   1:14.09   +0.01

Everything about Lacroix was perfect now, his movements like pencil strokes painting a perfect picture of the hill. Wyss now stood at the boarding, spotting his opponent coming into the final zone, turning left… Right… Left… And crossing the line.

2 Dennis Wyss        1:30.45
1 Jean-Luc Lacroix   1:30.44   -0.01

by **Free Republics** » Mon Jan 19, 2015 8:00 am

Logo created by Yttribia

Hard to believe that we've already reached the mid-point of the X Winter Olympics. Yes, this is your cutoff for Day 10!

This is also the final cutoff that will take place during the current cutoff window. Starting tomorrow and through the end of the Olympics, the cutoff window will be 9 hours later than it has been up to this point. This means that the next cutoff will be 33 to 35 hours from the time of this post.

X Winter Olympics RP Thread

Who is online