World Lacrosse Championship XIX [Everything Thread]

[The Serbian Empire]

The coach's words...

Just crushed about the loss, but there's still another game to be played and it's for 3rd place. I'm just glad to be able to play for such honors as that. 3rd's not the place we aimed for, but it's better than being ranked 10th. I have little more to say than good luck to Paradystopia. They're a strong team and worthy of winning it all.

[Cosumar]

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The portion of the site where users submit brief blog posts related to Cosumar Lacrosse

Dyno's CHAMPIONSHIP DAY Preview (now with gibbons!)
submitted by Dynomatic -- August 23, 2:27 p.m.

It's finally here! The day every member of this website has been yearning for since we fell to Civil Citizenry in WLC XII......a return to WLC Finals! A chance for vengeance! A chance to win Cosumar's first international 1st place finish since NS Arena Bowl III. Yeah, it's been that long.

Before I knew who Cosumar was going to face in the Championship Game, I had the brilliant idea of previewing the match-up by doing side-by-side analysis of the teams' players at each position and declaring a "winner" at each. Then, by adding up who was stronger at more positions, I would predict a Champion. However, my idea has been complicated by the fact that Paradystopia is our opponent. *groan*

Why is this a problem, you ask?

If you've been following this WLC at all, you know that Paradystopia's "team" consists of a band of genetically modified gibbons. Yes, like monkeys. I can't tell any of them apart and none of them have names, aside from one that seems to prefer the moniker "Steve". So much for discussing player match-ups. Nevertheless, these primates have proven to be quick learners when it comes to lacrosse. Despite starting 0-2, they're undefeated since.

To make matters worse, the tranquilizers that formerly calmed the rabid gibbons down to a civil level seem to have been having the opposite effect in the playoffs. They now respond to the drug by becoming hopelessly hyper and alarmingly aggressive. Perhaps they have developed a resistance to the drug? I don't know, I'm not a doctor. But ever since this phenomenon began, Paradystopia has been unstoppable on the field. They dominated Nassau-Hessen and The Serbian Empire (two fantastic teams, mind you) in the quarterfinals and semifinals by a combined score of 43-18.

This is worrying for the Dragons. Their primate opponents do not play the game how it is meant to be played. They simply physically attack the defenders and bull rush their way into the goal with brute strength. They bite off arms, they maul defenders, they throw feces, they bully the referees, they kick, they even steal their opponent's crosses and whack them on the heads. Playing Paradystopia is not lacrosse, it's chaos. Quite frankly, it's a disgrace and insult to the game we all love.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that this game is more than just Cosumar vs. Paradystopia. WLC XIX has evolved into something far more meaningful.

It is a crossroads for our beloved sport. Should the Paradystopians take home the Gold, how many nations will follow in their footsteps and convert to their vicious practices come WLC XX? It is a battle between proper lacrosse (a beautiful yet physical team game played with respect) and this unlawful savage brutality the Paradystopians have infected it with.

I hope all fans of the game of lacrosse, Cosumarite or otherwise, join with me in rooting for the Dragons to triumph over the classless, dishonest Paradystopians who are spitting on this wonderful sport with their barbaric malevolence. The Dragons are no longer solely trying bring glory to their kingdom, they are also trying to save the future of lacrosse.

Cosumarite fans travelling to The Sarian for the match may want to bring protection for themselves in case things get out of control and the gibbons attack the crowd.




Cosumar survives Abanhfleft in thrilling overtime victory
submitted by BlueDude84 -- August 23, 4:51 p.m.

As the only all-female team in a male-majority tournament, Abanhfleft is used to being underestimated. Some teams during the group phase would be visibly unwilling to be physical with their feminine opponents (at first). Startled by the sudden onslaught of athleticism, teamwork and determination from the Abanhfleft women, these teams would quickly fall too far behind to recover.

Coach Duke McDougle spent all week emphasizing that his team must treat the feminine Abanhfleft side like any other semifinals team - that they must fight hard and at 100% right from the start. Fortunately, Cosumar did not fall into the same trap as Camerania and Britonisea.

Nevertheless, the game was neck and neck all the way up until the final few seconds of overtime. Abanhfleft was not intimidated by Cosumar's reputation, attacking relentlessly and forcing Wesley Hill to make 21 saves. The game's blistering intensity and high level of play hinted at the potential formation of a new long-term international rivalry. It was a hard-hitting, physical match-up between Cosumar and Abanhfleft, and the two sides were tied 9-9 at the end of regulation.

Both scored once in the overtime period, but Tracy Sheppard scored a second for Cosumar with 24 seconds left to secure the 11-10 win. Sheppard slithered past Regina Tamaho thanks to a Skyler Cobb pick and created just enough space to flick the ball under goalkeeper Ceneisia Repextob, who closed her legs just milliseconds too late. The Cosumarite sideline leapt in the air in jubilee as Sheppard raced across the field, fist raised in the air. Luzviminda Lozima, who had been passionately encouraging her team throughout the game, crouched to the ground and ran a hand through her hair in exasperation. Though her team was visibly disappointed from coming so close to knocking off the Dragons, the Fleftic women kept their chins up and walked off the field with pride.

"There is a lot of mutual respect between these two teams. We had to fight them tooth and nail and they fought us tooth and nail. It really could have gone either way, I feel that we both deserved a shot at the Championship," Cosumar Coach Duke McDougle said. "Luckily, Tracy [Sheppard] was able to make a great play to send us through. I look forward to seeing Abanhfleft achieve great things in future World Lacrosse Championships."

In addition to his late winner, Sheppard scored three other goals for a total of four. Christopher Tennant was also a major contributor, putting up three of his own, including the first overtime goal. Achmed Dejagah (2), Jacques Archambault (1), and Marcus Warrick (1) scored the remaining Cosumarite goals.

Neither team led by more than two goals until Cosumar took a 9-7 lead with four minutes remaining. Menan Alrisheb and CeCe Suvini scored back-to-back goals within the span of a minute to draw Abanhfleft even. Christopher Tennant's desperate heave at the very end of regulation almost slipped into the goal and prevented overtime, but was poked out by the tip of the crosse in a spectacular save by Repextob.

The Cosumar Dragons advance to play Paradystopia at Nayokia Arena in Chippenham for the World Lacrosse Championship title. It is our first appearance in the title game since we lost to hosts Civil Citizenry in WLC XII. The upstart Fleftics will attempt to salvage a medal against traditional power The Serbian Empire in the 3rd-place game.

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[The Sarian]

Final cut off, good luck to you both.

[The Sarian]

Third Place Playoff

The Serbian Empire 9–15 Abanhfleft

GRAND SUPER UBER FINAL

Paradystopia 9–9 Cosumar (11–10 OT)

Really well done to Paradystopia for winning the competition, and of course tarnishing its reputation by winning it with wild monkeys. Commiserations to Cosumar, who came so close, as well as a big well done to Abanhfleft for debuting in third.

And to everyone that competed, it's a massive thank you from me!