World Cup 68 RP Thread

by **Valanora** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 3:23 pm

"A draw... dang nabbit."

"Dang nabbit? Have you been watching those RLverse human cartoons again?"

"Well, maybe, but all they have are reruns since that whole shindig went down in Astograth. Not even sure if the RLverse will continue to make new episodes of their shows after all of that turmoil. It's been turned into another propaganda channel I've heard."

"Don't be preposterous, why would they switch up a channel on the weird people who are like "I'm not saying it was Aliens, but, it was Aliens" watch to some propaganda channel?"

"That's just what they are saying on the internet."

"And you believe everything that you read don't you?"

"Oh shush you, I like my conspiracy theories, they are interesting to read and speculate on."

"Yeah, just as likely as Elune being a real person."

"You are far too cynical, whatever happened to you to make you not believe in *anything*."

"What's worth believing in? Nothing is true."

"If you can't believe in anything, you'll get swept away by everything."

"Oh shut up and go back to your conspiracy theory chats."

by **Vilita** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 3:24 pm

Fans Prepared for a Thriller

After scoring 11 combined goals in Bears Armed, the Belles and Jungle Cats clash in Turoki

The Turoki Community Complex on the Vilitan Island or Turoki has become a shrine of defensive football over the past couple of seasons, with Vilitan club Turoki United winning back-to-back stellar division championships punctuated by the top-class performances of Turorian netminder Mumau Atla-Siioai and a record string of 1-0 results.

So its no surprise that tickets for the Vilita National Team matchup against Bears Armed started flying off the shelf after the Jungle Cats Matchday 3 triumph over the Bear Belles where the two sides combined for 11 goals - the same amount that might be seen in Turoki United home matches for an entire season!

Of course, when Turoki United are not playing their home games, the stadium is co-occupied by former UICA Champions Cup winners the Turoki Tide who put on a bit more of an attacking show, but still nothing like the show that went down when the Bears and Jungle Cats faced off on Matchday 3.

It was Bears Armed who opened the scoring through Shiirrie Arrogh as Arri's Furry Army erupted when the ball was tucked underneath Cednia Beach AFC's Jaqe Planst just 4 minutes into the match. The spirited mood would last about 15 minutes before the Groups top-seeded Vilitans opened the flood gates with a trio of goals from Endur Rotropii - on a corner kick, Lopaki Kilpter from a free kick and then Purapal Eskiiy who made a dazzling run in from the wing and squeezed the ball in on the near post while the Bear-Belles all stood stone footed awaiting the cross that never came.

It appeared at that point that Bears Armed were done and dusted but they used their secret weapon, Harrietta Karra o Hara to pull a goal back immediately from the kick off. In fact, many of the Vilitan players were unaware that play had resumed as the ursine players on the pitch cleverly opted to remain stationary on the kick off while Harrietta sprinted up the field and gained position. By the time the Vilitan players stopped celebrating and paid attention the ball was on its way to the back of the net cutting the scoreline to 3-2.

The fans were given further false hope just before the half when Marra SunDaughter equalized for the Bear Belles on an unfortunate deflection from Endur Rotropii. SunDaughter's attempt at goal was well hit but Planst appeared to have the line on it until it clipped the backside of Rotropii who had turned weakly in defense. The ball deflected just out of reach of Planst who's momentum was bringing him the opposite direction and found the twine equalizing the scores at the half.

Rotropii was removed from the game at the half and Kamarul Zaman introduced in his place. It wasn't the move that spurred the Vilitan resurgence in the second half, but the Jungle Cats certainly came on strong.

Vilita and Bears Armed exchanged goals early in the second half through Jomur Hulyer and Shiirrie Arrogh making the scoreline 4-4 before Vilita ran away with the match. Goals from Viela Lianksa, Nili Ylimaiina and Kristofer Kilpter capped a high-scoring thriller of a match, one of the highest since the unfathomable 8-7 scoreline that Vilita suffered at the hands of Bedistan - the result that some say have cursed the Jungle Cats from ever reaching the World Cup finals again.

Regardless, the fans in Turoki will be hoping for a match just as exciting when Bears Armed come to town on Matchday 10 - so long as the Jungle Cats win, of course!

	Bears Armed
:: Goalscorers :: :: 18' Endur Rotropii :: 19' Lopaki Kilpter :: 26' Purapal Eskiiy :: 54' Jomur Hulyer :: 69' Vliela Lianksa :: 71' Nili Ylimaiina :: 84' Kristofer Kilpter	:: Goalscorers :: :: 4' Shiirrie Arrogh :: 26' Harrietta Karra o Hara :: 43' Marra SunDaughter :: 65' Shiirrie Arrogh
:: Best Player: Jomur Hulyer :: Worst Player: Purapal Eskiiy :: Shots on Target: 11 :: Corner Kicks: 7	:: Best Player: Marra SunDaughter :: Worst Player: Beorra ‘Locomotive’ o Barrdenn :: Shots on Target: 6 :: Corner Kicks: 10

Vilita Jungle Cats ::
[GK] Jaqe Planst, [D.] Amarini Baracelv, [D.] Uajiala Pulkki, [D.] Endur Rotropii, [ML] Purapal Eskiiy, [MC] Vliela Lianksa, [MC] Lopaki Kilpter, [MR] Jomur Hulyer, [FC] Lboaisa Akarelm, [FC] Kristofer Kilpter, [FC] Nili Ylimaiina
BENCH::
[FC] Kaivel Illatara, [FC] Perran Adlani, [M] Tripate Falcon, [M] Kiroki Mitaroka, [U] Kamarul Zaman, [D] Miiara Makose, [GK] Jungrii Canopii

Vilita & Turori Substitutions::
(45) - Endur Rotropii >>> Kamarul Zaman
(63) - Uajiala Pulkki >>> Kaivel Illatara
(70) - Jomur Hulyer >>> Tripate Falcon

by **Kericia** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 3:36 pm

Seagulls keep on rolling

Fears of a slow start after the mid-qualifying break were abated after Kericia’s 3-1 victory over New North Aqmuland. The Seagulls began their campaign with a 1-1 draw against the Maroon Lions, with substitute Juan Padilla scoring the only Kerician goal. This time around, Kericia had to travel to the Stade Butanga and try to stop NNA from making a push for a qualifying position.

Vince Conner’s goal put Kericia up 1-0 after only two minutes, in one of the quickest first goals in national team history. Speedy midfielder Jeffrey Johnson streaked past the NNA captain, Reneé Fouba, and then connected on a short pass to Conner. The elder statesmen of the national team then cooly slotted the ball past keeper Mousso Tembe. The already urgent Maroon Lions stepped up their attack, forcing Kerician keeper Antonio Peña to make a few important saves. NNA clearly had the momentum, but not the lead, as the game went to halftime.

The halftime break benefited the Seagulls, who were able to pressure the home team into some mistakes that led to golden opportunities. An errant pass from Amari Nyasi gave Kerician forward Brett Marsh an opportunity in the 56th minute, but the Hastings forward sailed his shot into the Maroon faithful. As the teams tired late into the second half, more chances arose for both sides. Connor finished his brace with a short header in the 81st minute, giving the away side a 2-0 lead. Things really unraveled for NNA when left back Dider M'Kwzubo made a late challenge on Kerician midfielder Gilberto Colón, giving up a penalty and earning a yellow card in the process. A tremendous dive by Tembe nearly saved Marsh’s penalty, but it wasn’t enough to prevent a 3-0 scoreline in the 83rd minute. Striker Ricky Ofo played well for the Maroon Lions, but was not rewarded until the 88th minute, when he placed a long volley past Peña. The goal wasn’t enough to spark a comeback, however, and the match ended 3-1 in favor of Kericia.

The win kept the Seagulls within one point of Turori, who steamrolled Taijan 4-0.
---
Kericia won 3-1 for the second match in a row – and earned their fifth straight victory in the competition – over the Greater Vakolicci Haven. The first match between the teams was intense and in front of one of the most hostile crowds the squad has seen in recent memory. The peaceful tranquility of Kericia City was a welcome contrast to the warzone they faced in the previous match. Kericia has struggled against offensive-minded mid-table teams in the past (a 6-2 loss to Gaveo in World Cup 67 comes to mind) but apparently they have figured something out. The first goal of the match came from an unlikely place: young defender Alan Bell gave Kericia the lead after a corner in the 23rd minute. The Haven rebounded well, and netted the equalizer ten minutes later. A pair of goals from Brett Marsh early in the second half would clinch the victory for the Kericians.

Another shutout by Turori meant the Seagulls were unable to make up any ground in the hunt for first. However, Svengarda’s loss to the Eels gives Kericia some breathing room in second place. The Seagulls now have a four point advantage over Svengarda. The next match for the Kericians will be against Arbeitsgemeinschaft Alpenlander, a team who have so far scored as many goals as they have syllables in their name. Kericia will seek their sixth straight win and hope to keep the group leaders within reach.

by **New Sideburn** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 3:36 pm

There was a small prayer room to the side of the tunnels in the Farham Arena.
It was built to be all-purpose - generally Catholic iconography, and a priest could be called in at fairly short notice for confession (the easy-going Father Orson, who attended all home matches anyway) but with directions to Mecca on the walls. Generally it went unnoticed, by the home team at least. The Sideburnese generally held to the belief that God didn't care about sport, and He probably had more important shit on His mind.
Today, Auburn heard murmuring from inside - Cockney murmuring.
She didn't open the door. That'd probably be a bit much, but she did hang around out of curiosity.
Whoever it was, she stopped less than a minute later, and the woman who walked out was Tana Colbright.
"Oh! Oh. Uh. Hey, Auburn," said Tana, a little awkwardly.
"No, it's fine, don't worry. Just... you never struck me as the type."
"Catholic?"
"No, just to pray for football results."
"I was praying for a lot of things," said Tana acidly. "... But yeah, somewhat of a focus directed at the present. I know I'm not playing, but I'd... thought I'd pray anyway. Hopin' maybe God would bring out the best in us. It's thinkin' He gives a damn about winnin' or losin' that don't add up - but I figure He can still inspire somethin' in people. And why not for sport?"
"Right. Yeah, that makes sense."
"Sorry for preaching."
"It's fine. ... And if you do go out there tonight, then good luck."
Tana smiled. "Thanks. Appreciate it."

"Jess is late," said Logan Byron quietly. He was always the one to say what others were keeping to themselves.
"Oi," said Jess Leinster mildly.
"Not... not you, Jess. The guv'nor, Jess."
"Right."
"'S not a good sign," said Cheney morbidly. "Wonder if even she thinks we can-"
The door opened.
Mortlock strode confidently into the dressing room, head held high. Darryl Boyden walked behind her, already smoking a cigarette. Behind them both, Auburn Bywater was there with her clipboard.
"Right, lads," said Mortlock assertively. "It's packed out there. Youse know the team?"
"Right, guv," said Cath Stokes, and a few others after her.
"Win here by two goals and our fate's in our own hands. Fail t' do that and they got to slip up, and we can't. I want the same plan's we tried to bring last time. Didn't work then. Make it work now. Don't be afraid to get dirty. Light rain out there, nothin' that should change things too much."
Mortlock paused for a second, and reflected on her final words. "There's some as say you should treat games like this as though they were any ordinary game. Don't do this. I want you to go out there and bring it home, no matter how. Good luck, lads."
A roar echoed through the home dressing room.

Kieron Riordan and Gignac smashed into each other - and it was the Wrexton goalkeeper who fell heavier. It was with a certain sense of satisfaction at least that he fell clutching the ball with both hands. It had started with an incisive attack from Pedrinho, whose shot he'd only been able to parry out for a corner. That corner was swung in and immediately headed behind the goal by an awkwardly-placed Karl Finnan, but the second corner threatened to strike at goal itself - Riordan had backpedalled and tipped it over the bar.
Now at least they could stop lining up like idiots. Riordan hated set pieces.
Gignac did offer him a hand, which the goalkeeper took gratefully. Then, of course, it was all business.

From the very start of the game, Rook Cathar identified Perrin as a weak point.
All the experience in the world couldn't stop Perrin from being thirty-seven years old. Cathar rather fancied himself in the strength department. And the pace department. In fact he rather fancied himself in the 'being thirteen years younger' elements generally.
He checked himself for offside, and turned to trot back - which is where he saw Snowy Sleet utterly skin Morantes and dash inside. He got the chance to wave Cathar and Brightley forward before getting done by Coupet. Which was fair enough, really, but the holding midfielder still got a caution for it.
It was in a dangerous area. Too far for a shot but at a good angle to rake across the defence and try to find someone. They'd not done too much practice on these, most set piece training was either direct or from corners, but the general premise was solid - Cath Harper would lash it across the defence, everyone go for it. Cathar's job, along with Finnan - who was just hustling forward now - was to generally be a massive physical presence to deal with.
Perrin found himself between Gareth Crowley (who was himself the third-tallest outfielder on the team) and the target man. Harper swung in the ball and everyone dashed forward.
Rook leapt for it, missing the ball but taking Perrin out of the game, as Stokes ran at the far post - but the goalkeeper had that covered. What it didn't have covered was for Crowley to stick out a boot at the far post to shank the ball into the net.
If you couldn't win nice, win hard.

Crowley's physical presence was causing headaches - he had the freedom to cut out to the wing with Stokes in support, and barring defensive movement from Valladaran wingers they held a significant advantage going forward on the wings. One that was, he had to concede, only partially making up for the simple fact that they had three forwards in a vaguely central role and Finnan and Marlowe were being run ragged - Riordan had already made four good saves, and with just forty minutes played.
And they did need that second goal, after all...
A long goal kick from Riordan found Crowley largely unmarked. The big midfielder turned and ran forward, daring Carrasso to come out and challenge him. This was a mistake because as it happened it was Pedretti that came out for him, from behind, and it took good fortune to pull back the ball. The holding midfielder's slide tackle caught Crowley's trailing leg, but the midfielder just winced and kept moving forward - buying time for the captain to dash across on the left flank. Carrasso was caught ball-watching when the Celtic midfielder cut the defence open with an incisive forward ball - Stokes, just onside, latched onto it and bombed it across the mouth of goal.
The goalkeeper rose for it and missed. Rook Cathar, lurking inside the box, came off Perrin's shoulder, made his yard of pace over the defender count for everything and buried it.

The Cormorants had their advantage. The sensible solution would be to park the bus and pray, but that... just wouldn't do. Anyway, what happened if it failed?
Still, the players re-entered the dressing room in jubilant mood. To their mind, they had what they'd came for, and though it'd been tough to defend, they'd lasted forty-five minutes, hadn't they? And Mortlock didn't tell them her private misgivings - just sent them out again, praying Brandon, Crowe, Marlowe, Finnan and Riordan could just about hold things tight at the back.

Andrea Crowe was on the fringe of the team and knew it. Still, she held a valuable role - knew that, too, and clung to it. She didn't really fit neatly into the diamond midfield, but they weren't using a diamond here. Two banks of four, and Crowe offered focus in the deep-lying playmaker role while Brandon acted every inch the midfield enforcer.
They got on well.
Here, though, they did feel ever so slightly out of position - the Valladar formation was a strange one on paper but in practice the four in midfield were ... flat initially, but very pronounced going forward on the wings and holding behind. So on the defensive at least Brandon had generally gone to support the centrebacks and Crowe had... largely been out of the game so far. Defensively, at least.
Bosetti - substituted in at half-time - was younger and more entrepreneuring than the number 6 he replaced. Crowe roughly found similarities with herself, which was bad because right now keeping the Valladars on the defensive was something very much in Sideburn's favour. When Bosetti received an ordinary pass from the goalkeeper, the Mardi midfielder just knew the bastard would run forward, through the acres of space, and-
He did. The fucker.
"MIKE!" shouted Crowe, pointing forward at him - Crowe herself was well away, but could at least mark the clear option of Gignac. But Rozenthal slipped away from Finnan and took a long pass from Bosetti on the chest.
It would've taken an outstanding forward to turn and strike accurately on the volley, taking Riordan by surprise and bringing Valladares back into the game.
Turned out Rozenthal is an outstanding forward.

The floodgates had opened. Bosetti got the second assist as well, another long ball forcing Riordan to come off his line and try to punch it away, but Gignac was first to it and cannoned the ball into the net. Valladares was level, and silenced the crowd when a free kick from Morantes came in high, well-aimed and basically unstoppable.
Seventy-nine minutes played. New Sideburn needed a goal.
They nearly got one when Dale Brightley came into the area and fired low and hard - Fuentes only just got a hand down in time. Nearly scored again from the corner, Finnan's header cannoning off the bar, but Valladares in turn bombed the ball forward (Bosetti, again). Riordan had to sprint into no man's land to belt the ball away, but Pedrinho was too close for comfort.
It would have to take something special.

In the 82nd minute, the Farham Arena crowd noticed something. Gerhard Thunder had taken off his jacket, baring his massive arms to the chilly Sabrefell air, and was doing stretches on the side.
A cheer came up from those who noticed, as they pointed it out to those who didn't. It was a call for standard "'Ere we go!" services to be resumed in earnest.
In the 83rd minute, the fourth official held up a board. Red: 15. Green: 7.
Rook Cathar had been worn down throughout the match, but tried to get to the bench as quickly as possible. He wondered what he could possibly tell his inspiration, his idol, the man people constantly compared him to.
"Do 'em one," he said hoarsely.
"Right," said Thunder, gruffly.
Anna Shrike came on at the same time - another BoF veteran, someone else for whom age had let them down, and just as much of a goalscoring threat. Snowy had run himself ragged, and couldn't even breathe a word to her as they switched.
It seemed to lift the entire team.
Harper finally took the throw-in - short, to Shrike, who pelted forward with her customary abandon. The Valladars, who weren't exactly fresh themselves, were taken a little aback, and only Lescott (a substitute himself) had the presence of mind to block the shot with his back.
A corner. If anyone could work this it was the Cormorants.
Shrike took the ball, waited until she liked the feel of things, then slammed it in. Thunder (for, he reflected, probably the first time in a while) had the edge in age over his centreback, and was certainly more than a match for anyone else in the box, rose and directed the header at the net.
The crowd's roars turned to shock as it glanced off the bar. Lescott got to it unchallenged and headed it away - but only as far as Harper.
You knew it was coming. Harper laid the ball across to Shrike, who cut inside and let fly with her left. It wasn't her favoured boot, but christ, you wouldn't know from the shot.
The crowd went mental.

Mortlock didn't know what to say. The objective had been a clear two-goal win. They'd not gotten that.
But christ, to look at the players ... relief shone through them. And they'd simply been outplayed in the second half - it was heart and spirit that had put them back in the game.
"Well done, lads," she said, at last. The team cheered. They'd have cheered fucking anything by then.

by **Lymantatia** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 3:43 pm

Lymantatia 3–2 Bonticello
Posted at 12:00pm 2014 April 4 by Edmund Diamond - Thanks to a numerous amount of wins and whatnot, there is possible hope Lymantatia will qualify for the World Cup.
Goalscorers
5 minutes - Jacques Bressler (Lymantatia)
6 minutes - Diane Graye (Bonticello)
8 minutes - Diane Graye (Bonticello)
14 minutes - Sylvius Johnson (Lymantatia)
21 minutes - Jacques Bressler (Lymantatia)
Current Statistics
Average number of time of goals: 44 minutes
Average number of time of goals by other teams: 43 minutes
Most goals by person on Lymantatia's team: Jacques Bressler (19)

by **Albaie** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 3:43 pm

The Road To The World Cup

Gathering The Team

Robert Tererent 19 Dubrack's Town Celtic 75 caps 65 goals

He stepped onto the battlements. " Commander on the walls. " Shouted the young Polish-Albaie Ensign called Masakowski who was part of his staff here.
" Salute attention. " Cried the Sergeant of the Watch who he recognized as Sergeant Major Jacabow of the 45th Light Infantry stationed in the fort. The men of the watch guarding the walls all stood to attention and saluted.
" Stand down men. " He commanded returning their salute. This was his early morning patrol of the walls and he couldn't see anything. It wasn't too far till the front line in fact if he had his telescope he'd be able to see the enemy front lines off in the distance. His men had t be on full alert it was only last week a group of Noble Rebellion Soldiers tried to storm the fort and his men had to see them off at bayonet point. That had been his first action in a few months and it had felt good to draw a bit of blood again after his unfair posting here.

He had been the youngest up and coming Colonel in the entire army when he had been posted here. Battle after battle he had shown his tactical skill and personal bravery and was being considered for a Brigadier promotion but instead he had been posted here. Fort McArthur. Yes it was a lucrative promotion for many officers. But not him his skill lay in fast paced troop movements and intricate battle plans not drawing up guards for the armory or the food rations. He had a good enough Quartermaster but still much of that duty fell to him. Right now he could be with Field Marshall Deberen thrashing the enemy away from Imperial territory or with the Emperor destroying army after army in his way or even with William Dubrack Dubrackson his old team mate making a name for himself in football and warfare.

That was another thing that struck him about his career in warfare. Both of his careers had followed the same path. He had started out with a meteoric rise quickly rising to the peak of the field. Most of his rise was due to a lucky break in football it had been his relationship with Vincet Deberen who as both club and country manager offered the young starlet every opportunity while in the military the course he had taken at University in Infantry tactics enabled him to be fasttracked to Captain enabling him to quickly rise through the remaining ranks to Colonel. Then his career stagnated as he reached a peak that only time could break. In football it had been his inexperience in terms of the professional game while in the military it had been the constraints of promotion and his required time as a colonel. Then both careers had taken a hit. In football it was when Elecki Queb and Vincent Deberen broke onto the scene taking his place at both club and country while in the military it had been his placement in this fort where he was so close but so far away from the glory of the battlefield.

He remembered his early years in football so well. His dad the little known journeyman midfielder Simon Tererent who's biggest moment in his career had been a single cap for Albaie after he had one season in the then Albaie First Division had played with his young son in the backgarden many a time when he signed him up for the local youth team Turnligton Tigers the small local team in the village. There Robert had found his passion for the game as he scored in almost every game sometimes notching up 6 or 7 goals a game. It was at Junior School he made his first appearance for the school team playing for Turblington Junior School in a small local tournament in which he scored 15 goals in 5 games and as captain lifted the Turble Downs School Cup. It was then he moved from the Rovers to Turbledon Athletic the semi-pro team in the nearest town. At Turbeldown Secondary School in Year 7 he made waves in the Imperial Inter Schools Tournament which was competed yearly in Dubrack's Town. He scored 21 goals in that 10 game tournament but the rest of his team let him down and he never lifted the trophy. Then the young striker was picked for the Under 15's Turble Downs team in the Albaie Island Cup despite being way below the age. That didn't stop the starlet as he led his team to victory even beating the Dubrack's Town Team who had won it every year for the last ten years. It was in that year Alexander McCool a Dubrack's Town Celtic scout spotted him and signed up the young player and the Tererent family had to endure the two hour drive to the academy three times a week for the young boy's commitments. Robert never looked back as he entered the Imperial Bank Premier Academy League and started making appearances for the international team at youth level. Vincent Deberen gave him his debut for the club at 16 and his debut hat rock quickly led to his international call up on his 17th birthday where he scored one goal to mark his rise to the top.

" Sir horseman approaching. " A young Private from the 12th Turbles Down Foot shouted and as Robert contemplated if the boy had been in his year at school he responded ignoring the Watch Officer's own command.
" Open the gates I'll meet him. " He commanded in reply and then swept back down the stairs. He was dressed in the purple of the 5th Turbles Down Rifles which was his official capacity and the cloak flowing behind him was a deep red bearing the insignia of his house he had set up after being knighted at the Battle of Red Ronnet's Bridge. It showed a quartering of the 12th Turble's Down Rifles and a fiery bridge to show his bravery at crossing the flaming bridge on that day. The gates were open when he reached the foot of the stairs and he saw a black dressed horseman thundering towards the gate. He reached Robert and looked down.
" Colonel Ser Robert Tererent ? " The man enquired.
" Ah yes that's me. " He replied formally.
" Message from the Emperor. " The man replied passing down a note.

To Robert Tererent
You are to report to Sturte House by Saturday morning. You are to play in Albaie's team for the next World Cup. You are excused from all duties and to are get to Dubrack's Town as fast as possible.
Emperor Michael II

Robert smiled as he read the note and promised himself he'd show Deberen he deserved to be Albaie's number one striker.

by **Zwangzug** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 3:47 pm

"Well, here we go. Zwangzug got an upset win on the road last time, wherever that was--"

"Royal Equestrian Stadium, Abhinav, don't give me this, you were there!"

"Yeah yeah, whatever."

"The top seeds hoping to take over the first-place position, and they come into the match with all cylinders firing."

"Definitely, the Ponies are--what?"

"Well, Abhinav, a cylinder is a geometric solid in three-space, the Cartesian product of a circle with a line perpendicular to it--"

"You know perfectly well that's not what I--"

"--although there might be some broader definitions that allow for skew--"

"Looks like we're about to get going."

"--why you'd want to burn them up is unclear, but they're a limited resource--"

"Shannon! Is Pristina Shine in the starting lineup today? She did turn around that game against Iturributa."

"What? Er...I don't think so, no...maybe she'll be a substitute."

"Yes, well, we'll see whether Zwangzug can get out to another early lead again. Hopefully it'll be the Ponies who have to search for a rally..."

"...Keane-Liuprand, looking in good form--back to Ruan, intercepted by Dash. Uh, that's the midfielder, Dash, not the forward."

"Yeah, a couple of Dashes on this team, to say nothing of the coach...you'd think they were trying to censor something out! Haha."

"Very droll, Abhinav, but we reassure you viewers that the Equestrian States are a perfectly, uh,"

"Competent top seed,"

"Known for their speed and durability, but nothing to, uh,"

"Worry about, we can upset them. Nothing,"

"To get worked up about. See? Uh, it's...McCluey with a pass from Ruan now, McCluey--scores again! And Zwangzug have gotten off to another fast start..."

"...good burst of speed by Witchein-Coan, that's what we like to see. Hale-Barnard a little bit out of position, probably for the best, I'm not sure where you could try tackling one of those forwards without getting dinged--"

"That's a bit ignorant, Abhinav."

"They're rather oddly-proportioned, Shannon, I think even you have to grant."

"If I must. By the way, a little bird tells me that a 'cylinder' is also part of a gun. I know, horrible weapons, not allowed here, but presumably if you were to shoot them you'd be firing all the cylinders?"

"I believe you shoot a gun one at a time, Shannon."

"I'll have you know, Abhinav, I never shot a gun at all! So don't believe a word of that!"

"Yikes, okay. Why were you talking to a little bird?"

"What?"

"Birds can't talk. Or was this in one of those dreams between interviewing a unicorn and analyzing a pegasus tape?"

"Dream? Did you sleep through the pregame show again?"

"What do you mean again, I've never done it before today."

"Well, it's a metaphor."

"I'm skeptical."

"You're being a bit close-minded. Hang on, Schi in possession--up to McCluey--another goal! And Zwangzug have really figured something out..."

"...This is beautiful. Just like the first leg, they're really in control, going for the attack right away."

"The first leg that you totally were there for?"

"The first leg of only two rounds, Shannon, it's a biped's game."

"If you say so. Oh, I've also been told that a cylinder is part of a car engine, so if you had a car to drive--"

"Insert your own insults at the environmentalist nanny state here--"

"Are you sure you're from Guariday? Don't answer that, but the metaphor comes from driving a car."

"Are you sure this time?"

"Yes."

"I liked it better when you were setting guns on fire."

"That's 'guns blazing', Abhinav, that's a different metaphor, but the Ponies were trying to do that too. Anyway, it's not working, Eliot works her way past Cloudchaser, still going--she'll take it herself--it's a goal for Patricia Eliot! 3-0, Zwangzug..."

"...yet another shutout opens up a bit of space at the top of the group. Zwangzug are four points ahead of Equestrian States, and ten points clear of Iturributa in third. Though, of course, nothing's clinched yet."

"Nor can it be for a while, with this structure."

"Fair point. For now, another great example of what Kratochvil's side is capable of. Zwangzug head to McKleigh next; see you then!"

by **Super-Llamaland** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 3:49 pm

Chapter 1
Chapter 1.5
Chapter 1.75
Chapter 1.875
Chapter 1.9375
Chapter 1.96875
Chapter 1.984375
Chapter 1.9921875
Chapter 1.99609375
Chapter The End Chapter 1.99804688

com[plete ranodmness

Chapter 1.99902344

Somewhere in Barunia, a duck quacked...into a wormhole.

The quack echoed and echoed, until it landed in a Neutrino Production Plant in a very odd dimension where everything was made. However, the dimension wouldn't last long, as the Plant for the Combining of Hydrogen and Oxygen and Another Hydrogen had an explosion when somebody lit the hydrogen on fire. The town the plant was located in slowly dehydrated, and as stored water ran out as the idiot did the same thing to most of the plants, so did the world.

The quack echoed around and shot neutrinos everywhere. The neutrinos altered Billy Livingston Senior Times Fifty-Six's DNA slightly. When he married Mary Livingston Senior Times Fifty-Six, the genes began to go down the Livingston family tree until Billy got the gene, which made you leak apple juice and die whenever an alien shot you.

The human body truly works in mysterious ways.

"I'm feeling a little peckish," SJG said.

"Where did Llama go?" Jeck wondered.

"He ran away thanks to the omniscient dog," Hicana said. "That jerk."

"Hicana!" Jeck yelled. "You're alive!"

The spaceship hadn't moved as the police ship had left to chase Llama throughout the galaxy.

"Do you know where we need to go?" SJG said. "I mean, where do we get food? I mean, like, I'm hungry. A lot. So, I need to eat. Um..." he realized the awkwardness of it all and stopped talking, only muttering a final "yeah".

"How about the Restaurant at the End of the Qualifiers?" Jeck wondered aloud.

"Nah, they're only three stars on Yelp," SJG pointed out, consulting his phone.

"No, it's a good spot. The only requirement is...uh oh. We have to qualify for the World Cup. Then, they show us the exploding of the DEATs and CTEs instead of the end of the universe."

"Doesn't that place have, like, bovine waiters?"

"Nope, the Restaurant at the End of the Qualifiers has those that barely missed out do it."

"Like, Cup of Harmony?"

"Yeah. Llama got an offer to be a bartender there, but he got fired because he tried to lace Kandorith's water with alcohol."

"Whoa. He's not normally like that."

"So, do you think we'll get in?"

"No."

"Okay. Let's just get a bite at McDonald's."

And so they did.

Llama ran and ran and ran. He ran so fast, he warped through six dimensions. The first five were fine. In the sixth, however, bodies did not exist. Only an endless sea of minds.

Llama vanished.

<'Ello?>
<Anybody?>
<Is anybody here?>
<What's happening to me?>
<Where am I?>

He heard something.

<Hello? Hello? How do I get out?>
<There is no way out that anybody here knows of. Who are you?>
<Holy...this isn't the land of the CTEs, is it?>
<I've heard it called by that name before. Welcome to Necromia.>

<Calm down. Calm down. Once you lose yourself, it will be easier.>
<Who...who are you? Who am I?>

<Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk? You hosted the Lively Cup! That was my first->
<It does not matter.>
 Llama felt a spine-tingling terror run down through his spinal cord and permeate through his body. He shivered. <Please, tell me a way to get out!>
<Okay. You must go to the>

There was a loud explosion.

Gerald was terrified and nervous. He was terrified because he was on an unknown spaceship with strangers, who were having very weird things happen to them. He was terrified because he had nearly become a Gregoryisgodistan slave. He was nervous for about the same reasons.

"Hey, what's going on!" he demanded. The actual, non-NS humans followed him. Guns were pulled out of thin air.

"Uh oh," SJG murmured.

by **Annar** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 3:50 pm

A draw. Better than a loss, Vimes supposed. It had actually been a pretty good game, but he had wished to win. He had narrowed down the location the robot had come from to three possible countries. One was Slakan, Annar's worst political enemy. The others were a remote wilderness unclaimed by any country, and Annar itself. Slakan liked assassins. They even liked military robots. Their tech, however wasn't usually this advanced. The remote wilderness was a possibility, but Vimes had a feeling that the origin was Annar. He couldn't really explain it, other that to say that Annar did have rather good technology.

Vimes looked around at the rest of his team. They were on a plane again, so Rincewind was hyperventilating. Marvin was reading a newspaper for conspiracy theorists, although he always said that he didn't trust the author. Javert was reading every last word of his contract to look for loopholes, mostly because he was in a sulk after finding that the airline had obeyed all safety procedures and couldn't be sued. Teatime was doing a crossword, but he was the only one who was doing anything normal. They didn't need to know about this. Especially Rincewind and Marvin.

Last.fm · by **Cosumar** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 3:53 pm

The Cosumarite Courier
Cosumar's #1 Sports News Source

SCORELESS DRAW AGAINST ALSACIE SLIDES COSUMAR TO 3RD; FARFADILLIS NEXT

Matchday Nine Review

RAMUSOK, COSUMAR - Cosumar's woes in the second leg of Qualifying continued as they struggled to a 0-0 draw with seventh-place Alsacie at Leviathan Arena last night. Failing to pick up what should have been an easy three points on their home field did little to advance the Dragons' playoff hopes and allowed Sameba to leap-frog Cosumar into 2nd place.

"I was actually very pleased by our defensive performance. It was probably our most dominant performance on that end of the field so far," Manager Farris Crowley said. "But obviously, we've got to find a way to score the ball. To be unable to take advantage of great defense and a superb home crowd is very disappointing. We've got to put it behind us and focus on the next opponent."

The Dragons were held to 0 goals in a match for the first time in this campaign by a lowly Alsacie squad that had hitherto struggled to stop opponents from scoring. Since their blazing-fast 5-1-0 start in which they scored 27 goals, the Dragons are 0-2-1 with only 2 goals to their name. The Bastion Emplor of Eura went as far as to call us out for "choking". Perhaps the Dragons should listen.

After all, this is a Cosumarite team that established its identity as a high-scoring, offense-minded team early in Qualifying. However, the strikers' legs seem to have cooled off tremendously since Matchday Six, draining the entire team of the swagger and confidence it had displayed prior to the Mid-Qualifying Break. Since their 6-3 rout of Sameba, the only words that can be used to describe the Dragons' performance are flat, passive, and sloppy.

Alsacie's goalkeeper put on a spectacular performance, denying Cosumarite playmaker Sur Arora three times and also impressively stopping a valiant late effort from Francois Renault. Cosumar seemed the better team for much of the match, controlling the ball and most statistical categories, but could not convert it into goals.

An Alsacie defender preserved the draw in the 89th minute with an incredible feat of athleticism, clearing the ball off the line when it looked as if Addam Andsman-Savage had the goalkeeper beaten at close-range.

Cosumar - 0
No scorers
Alsacie - 0
No scorers

Storylines from elsewhere in Group 8, beyond

Cosumar's draw against Alsacie brought their point total to 18, and dropped their record to 5-3-1. It was their second draw against an inferior opponent in three games - critical missed opportunities for a team still seeking its first win of the second leg. The Dragons' underwhelming draw allowed overachieving Sameba (19 points) to sneak past them into 2nd place after a last-second 2-1 win over Usjekhipstahf. While Cosumar still occupies a playoff slot, it would undoubtedly be a huge blow to their pride to be surpassed by a Sameba squad they dismantled 6-3. And you're never safe with a streaky team like Boring Paradise lurking behind you.

Meanwhile, fifth-place Catholican Catholica shut out winless side The Andromeda Islands 5-0 to gain ground on Boring Paradise, who fell 2-1 to Farfadillis on Matchday Nine. The group-leaders' road win stretched their cushion over the Dragons to six points. It's becoming apparent that first place is to be no one but Farfadillis' for the remainder of Qualifying.

Outside of our group, Group 14's Polar Islandstates finally allowed their first goal nine matches into their campaign in a 3-1 victory over formidable Eastfield Lodge. Elsewhere, The Holy Empire (Group 3), Barunia (Group 7), Valanora (Group 15) and Valladares (Group 21) all failed to win a match for the first time last night. In a remarkable series of surprising scores, all four of the remaining 8-0-0 teams suffered their campaigns' first blemish on Matchday Nine.

Matchday Ten Preview

Tomorrow the Dragons will be pitted against Farfadillis for the second time. In their previous matchup, as I'm sure you all remember, we emerged victorious 5-3 in an exhilarating display of goal-scoring ability. However, Farfadillis has won every single one of its matches since that loss and is one of the hottest teams in the World Cup at the moment. And this time, the Dragons won't have the benefit of its home field and fans.

"Hector Rossizzo has his team playing fantastic soccer right now. They're winning matches with great teamwork, fundamentals and a strong sense of confidence", Assistant Manager Truda Jotunoj said. "I wish I could say the same for our team at the moment. We're in a bit of a rut right now and seem to need something to jump-start us, give us our energy and swagger back. Playing a fantastic team like Farfadillis at La Fantás might be just the thing to rejuvenate us."

The key to this match will be to prevent Friekder Dandalleion from getting clean looks at the goal. He's perhaps the best striker in Group 8 and an incredibly crafty player. The Dragons also need to find a way to neutralize Santos Alaminos, the best Farf defender, and make their other defenders step up and make plays to stop us. They were unable to do so in Matchday 3, allowing five goals.

For a report of the Cosumar-Farfadillis match and a preview of Matchday Eleven's crucial rematch with Boring Paradise, check out tomorrow's edition of The Cosumarite Courier. Thank You for reading,

Brock Denver
Staff Writer

Cosumar's World Cup 68 Journey
Matchday 1: Cosumar 3-0 Usjekhipstahf
Matchday 2: Alsacie 2-4 Cosumar
Matchday 3: Cosumar 5-3 Farfadillis
Matchday 4: Boring Paradise 4-4 Cosumar
Matchday 5: Cosumar 5-2 The Andromeda Islands
Matchday 6: Cosumar 6-3 Sameba
Matchday 7: Catholican Catholica 1-1 Cosumar
Matchday 8: Usjekhipstahf 2-1 Cosumar
Matchday 9: Cosumar 0-0 Alsacie
Matchday 10: Farfadillis vs. Cosumar (Away)
Matchday 11: Cosumar vs. Boring Paradise (Home)
Matchday 12: The Andromeda Islands vs. Cosumar (Away)
Matchday 13: Sameba vs. Cosumar (Away)
Matchday 14: Cosumar vs. Catholican Catholica (Home)
Blue: Draw
Green: Victory
Red: Defeat

Cosumar's Goal-Scorers Tally (29 GF)
Sur Arora: 8 goals
Addam Andsman-Savage: 5 goals
Francois Renault: 5 goals
Ejegefe Na'Safeh: 3 goals
Abel Scarloff: 2 goals
Corey Simmons: 2 goals
Paaron Petrov: 1 goal
Thomas Teverridge: 1 goal
Tae Woo Miyori: 1 goal
Anders Engström: 1 goal

by **Chiata** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 4:00 pm

Wartorn
Part 9

Deala Invasion Beach-

Fred Gpkaba had joined the army at age seventeen. Well not "joined," but he was drafted into the Deala army. In Deala, the draft, which was called conscriptions to make it sound better, was for men ages 17 to 50. Every man in that range would get a card numbering one through one hundred by mail. Then the military would pick one of the numbers and all the people with it would be officially drafted. Therefore, after every round of the draft, 1% of the draft population would be in the army.

Fred had been called in the 5th round. The military had pushed it and drafted for 15 rounds, or 15% of the draft population. The citizens had protested at first, but then the reality of the situation had sunk in. Now practically everyone was involved in the war. Those that weren't drafted were now organizing unofficial militias. In the cities, the women would manufacture mines, guns, and ammunition while the children would scrounge around for scrap metal. In the rural areas, the women and children would run the farms to keep the food supply. The entire country was pitching.

Fred wasn't on his father's farm anymore. Now, he was in a muddy trench with his friend laying in the bottom of it, cut to ribbons by a fragment bomb. Fred was manning an MG now and was shooting at the "commies" as they charged up the beach. Fred had long since gotten over the killing part of the war. Carialus was invading HIS home. He was going to let them do that. Even if he was going to die, Fred drew comfort from the fact that he would take a couple of the "commies" down with him.

It was pitiful, though Fred as he pinned some Carialites behind a steel obstacle. Here he was, a young man, shooting at a bunch of other people who were probably also forced into the army. What was the point, so an imaginary line could switch places? Then it all went black.

by **San Jose Guayabal** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 4:01 pm

OOC: For effects of naming, a roster of Blackclyffe used the IX Campionato Esportiva was used for the RP

www.elnacional.gu/sports/highlights

You are in: El nacional > sports > Highlights.

NEWS
- SJG 6-2 Blackclyffe, Ready to visit Bastion.
- International friendly: SJG 0-2 Polar Islandstates, a tune-up.
- Eura vs SJG, time to be serious.

SJG 6-2 Blackclyffe, ready to visit Bastion.

Wrote by: Karl Magnussen.
Follow on Circles as: @Kamagnu142
04/04/14
5:50 PM (Guayabalian time, GUT-6)

SJG managed last night at The Roblar a resounding victory against Blackclyffe with a 6-2 showed that SJG basically mastered the game from start to finish , in addition to an excellent match Marcos Haedo , who begins to make merit to be a starter in the national team by scoring three of the six goals for SJG , while the starters are resting and training for the trip to Bastion, Eura 's capital for a party that will be decisive in the fight for first place group.

SJG 's fans came in large numbers to cram the stage of the city of El Roblar to witness an important game for SJG , from early in the morning (11:00 AM) the entrance of the stadium was enabled so that viewers could reserve the best locations for a game , but this was later (7:30 PM), the visiting fans arrived about three thirty in the afternoon, came in small quantities (3,700) but were very noisy and generated excitement in the contours stadium.

In the starting lineup of SJG, based on that used in the previous match against The Holy Forden Church, with the variation that instead of Marcos Rodas, Marcial Palazyus would be the starter in the area of attack of SJG. Inzer change their typical 3-1-3-3 to a different and very rarely used 3-3-4, with four forwards, showing that his intention was to dominate the game early and avoid any unwanted surprise, but without underestimating the opponent and playing respectfully .

In the opposing team, his coach decided to use the same starting lineup that always with a 4-4-2 that he intended to propose without being underestimated, to provide a good show in the game as the coach said.

Blackclyffe started with the ball in the match, showing fairly fast to try moves that could embarrass the national team of SJG, in 8 minutes, Cadell Falkenwrath made a shot from distance that failed to stop the young goalkeeper Abraham Terrazas feet and then send it to a corner, in the corner, made a cross Falkenwrath Roparzh Santillian to come to make a header that was stopped by terraces on the goal line.

17 minutes, Palazyus recovered a ball in midfield, to take it away from Terentius Hall, who in a bad brand slipped and Palazyus managed to snatch the ball to venture into a solo run, then gave him a pass to Nicholas Jarvis, who remato Lockwood Sajinius the goal but managed to send the ball the throw. Bruno Camilletti made the kick, he gave a pass to Palazyus who in turn enabled Marcos Haedo for this stay in front of Lockwood and finish off the center of the goal , making the score SJG up 1-0 with this goal Blackclyffe not intimidated, then tried to find a scoring opportunity .

Contrary to what we can imagine, was not shy Blackclyffe after the goal, but it was shown in an incisive way to find the equalizer through long distance shots or using the factor of the head. 30 minutes, the inexperience happened invoice Terrazas, who at just 17 was playing his second game at senior level with national team, Hall made a pass giving Santillian backlash for this gently pulled a goal but an offensive devolved Terrazas, who stayed static when the ball entered his goal , putting the 1-1 draw in the match.

SJG was beginning to be seen in a compromising position because of goal recently annotated therefore began to see an even more offensive trend for SJG, so Palazyus tried to climb a frontal attack on the defensive opponent, achieving remove a ball at the area, but Lockwood began to appear as an important factor in the match, sending the ball to a corner. Jairo Araujo made a pass Palazyus who Haedo who focused towards a very orthodox stance not managed to score the 2-1 for SJG 42 minutes, which returned the good expectations for the squad led by Emanuel Inzer, scoring his pupils sought another goal to go with a comfortable lead into the locker room.

The referee added three minutes of stoppage time in the first of those minutes Martin Mo gave the ball towards Palazyus, who managed to take the pressure off a defense for a shot at a distance of 34 yards to the goal of Lockwood, managing to put the ball in the bottom corner of the goal of Lockwood and scoring the 3-1 team which SJG left with a considerable advantage to the locker room to discuss the virtues and errors that took over the first 45 minutes.

At halftime, the players Inzer emphasized the importance of scoring more goals in order to achieve further goals in goal difference, which can be useful to SJG in future circumstances, and hinder the creation of moves by the opponent, especially down the right field, because the problems were obvious because there close to that Blackclyffe achieved success momentary tie 30 minutes into the game was conceived also stressed the importance of respecting the opponent and play him humbly but with all the potential available.

At the other team the importance of seeking at least deduct the scoreboard more comeback attempt, tempers were high in Blackclyffe therefore felt very able to cash achieve such feat is emphasized.

In the second half, SJG started with the ball , looking to close the gaps left by the defense in the first half, which would be vital SJG pair in case you want to expand the difference , in 54 minutes , did a reasonable shot Haedo that almost surprises Lockwood, but the shot was also deflected by Demosthenes Pokorny , who touched the ball with his hand in a move clearly intended goal , so was reprimanded and free kick is awarded from outside the area , Haedo shot with high power shooting and beat parrot Lockwood 's goal put SJG so the lead 4-1, which was the lighter led by Emanuel Inzer , who was pleased with the work of the players, but demanded even more from them.

Blackclyffe not going to stay with her arms crossed, as Pokorny was able to make a powerful shot towards the goal, but Terrazas responded effectively in a very good action, granting him a corner to Blackclyffe. Aran Reed made the shot, giving pass to Tau Maoilseachlainn who made a shot at goal, crashing the ball in the post to Llwelyn Muirchead after that exploited the rebound and scored the 4-2 for Blackclyffe, who was still inside the contest, besides it would be very difficult demstrar appease their minds it was still 68 minutes , 32 minutes still remaining in which anything could happen .

The pressure from the Captain Herbert Sosa began to increase to succeed in defining a game for SJG, the same Sosa missed a shot in front of the goalkeeper to extend the lead 75 minutes into Palazyus took the ball , giving pass Camilletti to achieve this score 5-2 with a soft shot that step above the head of Lockwood, with whom SJG mentally before beginning to impose Blackclyffe, and expand the difference on the scoreboard.

87 minutes, Haedo out what could be his fourth goal of the night due to a detour of Pokorny when Haedo made the shot , sending the ball to a corner.

Araujo performed the corner, giving Palazyus to pass then give this a pass to Martin Mo, who managed to volley powerful way to the goal , overcoming the resistance of Lockwood and thus scoring the final 6-2 to SJG, with that fans of SJG held in a very colorful way with fireworks and traditional chants.

International friendly: SJG 0-2 Polar Islandstates, a tune-up..

Before the team SJG left for Bastion, the capital of Eura, SJG received a surprise visit to play a football game, because not very often they play against a champion of the Newest WC, was nothing less than Polar Islandstates the recent champion of the last edition of the World Cup, arriving to play a friendly match which would serve to test new players to SJG, PIS play with their second team, used for the Copa Rushmori, which is a very important team for future talent into the main national team of the "terns".

In the game that would be played in the city of San Ignacio, in the presence of over 115,000 viewers SJG and also with the presence of 5,000 Valhallans who attended early hours to the stadium to see a game where two teams are currently living a good time in the 68 WC Qualifiers would face, but that also two completely different ideas.

The players led by Morten Rasmussen emblematic who was the former FC boss Axel Heiburg Morten Rasmussen took over at the helm of the Terns five cycles ago now, and I've Been a revelation, turning the side into one of the hardest teams in the Multiverse to beat. Two of his twelve defeats in charge of the Terns, a full sixth of them, Have Been in the World Cup finals. Twice they've come close, and he's twice I picked them back up again. The third team They succeeded, but with inspirational players like Saarinen and Cornelius announcing Their international retirement upon arrival back in Franz Josef City. A technician employed much like the classic "The Pythagorean" 2-3-3-2, a system that is balanced, where the offense and defense work together to achieve good results.

Against Emanuel faced Inzer, the home who has a style of play more offensive than PIS, but uses the "Hexagon" 3-1-3-3 where the midfield works hand over the front, providing more ease at the time of attack, and a defense against your average.

The last time WC Champs, Polar Islandstates has visited
SJG to a friendly match (Picture: Kolehmainen scoring
a goal in WC 67).

The game started with owning PIS, which mostaba playing his typical game of dominance over the opponent while SJG had smaller possession to try to decipher the game of PIS.

7 minutes, Saucedo took the ball, making a counterattack, giving pass to Rodolfo Zelaya, who finished the goal but the shot was stopped by Artemiusz Korzhanenko a good intervention showing the defensive line clear, so that later Korzhanenko cleared the ball, falling under the possession of Torsten Navarro, who after an attack speed, yield Svenbjorn Einarsson pass to prove that this Henry Hernandez reflexes in goal.

After that the party entered a stage of parity where both sides gave their best, generating continuous occasions chance at the opponent's goal until 34 minutes, Illich-Svitych Vadim gave a pass to Frederiksen who scored head 1-0 in favor of PIS, a result that was within that expected for a friendly.

38 minutes, Rodolfo Zelaya entered into the PIS area and was brought down by Fabian Vaaraniemi, claiming the penalty for SJG.

Sean Fraser made the penalty kick, which was blocked on the goal line by Korzhanenko, who kept his net zero goals against from (Approximately 500 minutes without a goal against) does a good while back.

Now after that play, oth teams went to the closets, SJG was losing 0-1 to PIS, a result which to be honest was excellent for SJG.

In the second half, Emanuel Inzer made a change to keep their players in good shape, changing its lineup to put the team of reservists and thus visualize future ayan elements to be headlines in the national team in the near future SJG while PIS kept his players on the field without any change in their tactic.

SJG began the second half with the ball possession in their favor, starting to fight PIS excellent defense, through deep passes and counterattacks, as Mo Martin, who gave Palazyus pass to finish off the goal this but his shot was stopped by Korzhanenko in a spectacular way, saving the fall of his record.

After 61 minutes, tried to sneak Haedo pressure defenses PIS running rapidly on the right side of the court, dribbling 2 players and then make a shot that went wide of the goal of PIS.

After 74 minutes, PIS was beginning to show signs of wanting to expand the score in his favor, gave a solid Einarsson Navarro who tried to pass off a volley, but his shot was deflected and went on Hernandez's goal.

PIS managed to score the second goal 78 minutes until through Torsten Navarro, who in a counterattack, decided to shoot at goal from 29 yards and managed to place the ball in the upper right of the goal angle Hernandez, who was defeated by the power of that shot.

After that, there were no more opportunities for both teams, who have settled for the 0-2 result in favor of PIS, a result that demonstrates a good defensive approach by SJG, who managed to avoid a landslide against him before a opponent with a lot of ability to perform some level of markers scandal.

Eura vs SJG, time to be serious.

SJG travels towards Eura to face a key game for the aspirations of both teams, as they are only three points not fight, but also the first group 17, both teams have done an excellent job during the knockout stage of the tournament, mostrandose in excellent results

Meanwhile in the side led by the Audioslavian Sporadic Kelly, a talented former player who played for great teams as XXV de Maio in Cafundeu, besides being skilled in national teams like Audioslavia and apart winning the WC 66 with the national team of Eura, no doubt this has been theirr most important achievement, plus Eura was with the same base of players with which they won the WC 66 as Skorji Oslograd and John Spartan, both name players that were key to glory in world football.

According to Emanuel Inzer, SJG played with all the optimism to seek to obtain an excellent result in the game today, which will put all the starters, where to look for the all out to regain the lead and the group.

by **Free Republics** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 4:04 pm

Another night, another World Cup qualifying cutoff. This is the Church of Saintland Cutoff for Matchday 10. The Church of Saintland: Compassion. Dignity. Virtue.

Results

by **Kandorith** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 4:06 pm

Another Close Match

By Lisho Yaru

With the second zero to one defeat against Audioslavia the Kandorese team has to face defeat, but acknowledge they can hold their ground against one of the best teams in the world. The Kandorese national team showed extreme expertise, but failed to place the shots where they count. No one expected the Kandorese team to win because of the vastly superior Audoslavian team, but just a one goal loss is a great achievement for the team. Once again the coach has shown he is the most competent man for the job and will be the coach for many years to come, hopefully.

With Kandorith being in third place on the qualification stage now, they have to secure the next wins, which the coach does not doubt in any way. The Kandorese team will be entering the crucial match stages now, as they have to try and get as much wins as possible to secure the second place, or even try and snatch the first place still. Without doubt, the performance has been top notch in this campaign once again, with some tough and unexpected competition. If the team manages to pass the qualification stage it would once again be a mark on Kandorese sporting history, another step forward.

by **Brenecia** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 4:08 pm

http://www.patriotsown.net.bre/dg_home
ON THE ROAD - PATRIOTS vs DORADO GRANDE

I have a confession to make. I, Harriet 'aitchkay' Kilbane, was convinced that we were fucked. We weren't going to reach third. The World Cup was a distant dream.

Fortunately, close to every other team is just as inconsistent, barring Mytannion, and we're actually right in the mix. Particularly after this match. Dorado Grande, which I basically know from a trading card what a guy gave me a few weeks ago and I gave it to some kid for a pack of crisps 'cause I'd just been down the pub and had a few too many, got righteously destroyed by our lads down at Kingsgarden, which is a lovely place and I adore it and its plastic blue seats and chrome everywhere.

What I also liked was the fact that we'd brought in Snowden on the right, Bowyer at left fullback and Greig, of course, was back from his suspension. Camden replaced Sylver, too, and it was Bryson and Kuepper up top. Slatesaver had taken the radical step of not using players who weren't doing very well, which I thought was brilliant.

At the time of course I didn't think this was brilliant, I thought we'd get done 2-0 at home by the worst team in the group, but in hindsight? Brilliant. And I knew it was brilliant when Tanith Bryson defied the five-quid bet I'd put on her that she wouldn't score for the rest of the cycle by smashing in a shot after ten minutes. Then again after fifteen minutes. Which is about when you can rest easy against an unranked side. I noticed a fat man from Dorado Grande shouting at Kuepper who made exaggerated gestures about his weight and rubbed his gut in return which I figured was the point at which Brenecia had achieved a moral as well as an actual victory, because when your best centre-forward finds the time to mock the weight of hecklers is probably when the game's in the bag. Then Kuepper hit the post, showing that maybe his attention wasn't entirely focused on the fat man from Dorado Grande, but I still reckon it's all he cared about. Danny Snowden came up with the third goal, which was good because I'd put another five-quid bet on him doing so and as long as my random spite-fuelled bets break even then I'm happy, particularly if it gets the Patriots off their arses and winning matches, and the bloke who threw his ticket for the Mytannion match at Slatesaver (who didn't even fucking look - it was Mags Chartreuse who looked up, picked up the ticket and fuckin' stashed it, probably to give to the physio or a mate or something) looks right foolish now except probably not because Mytannion are still going to destroy us regardless of whether or not we can show up against the weakest side in the group.

Went to the pub after the match which was a mistake because after long enough at the pub you think maybe you'll go to the strip club with your mates but I'm pretty sure this site won't print my further adventures - so I'll leave you on this note. 'Fuck Steed Raynor's haircut'.

'Bye.

by **Saintland** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 4:16 pm

Royal Square Garden, St. Petrus, Saintland

It was the day after the coronation of King Petrus XX. With controversy raging about some of the King's comments in his post-coronation speech, Prince Andreas decided to hold a special conference at RSG to make a major announcement relating to the Saint, his interactive entertainment platform. While he would have to sacrifice a day's preparation for the upcoming World Cup, he hoped to take some international media attention away from his brother's words and put it on RCES instead.

Prince Andreas stood in the middle of RSG, surrounded by television cameras and press from many nations. As at the original Saint reveal, there was a table set up in the middle of RSG. A cloth was placed on top of it, clearly covering something up. Prince Andreas started by speaking to the crowd:

Prince Andreas - On behalf of Royal Computer Entertainment of Saintland, I welcome all of you to Royal Square Garden. Today, I am going to talk about the latest revolutionary new technology from RCES, but first let me introduce you to Dirk Roth from our partners at RepublicSoft.

Dirk Roth walked out onto the stage and began to speak, in English.

Dirk Roth - Thank you, Prince Andreas. We at RepublicSoft are honored to have the opportunity to work with you on exciting new technology products. For those of you who have forgotten, I am Dirk Roth, Senior Vice President of Games and Simulations at RepublicSoft and I am here today to introduce the device that is going to revolutionize the mobile phone industry. Without further delay, I give you the....... SaintPhone!

As he said those words, Dirk Roth lifted the cloth, revealing what looked like an ordinary Saint, albeit with a smaller screen size. The SaintPhone appeared to be significantly smaller than the Saint, but other than that, it seemed like all of the same inputs were still intact.

Dirk Roth - You are undoubtedly familiar with the Saint, which is known as the leading portable interactive entertainment device in the region. The SaintPhone is the latest evolution of the Saint. Re-designed for maximum portability, the SaintPhone is the ultimate all-in-one portable device. It is not only a fully-featured Saint, but the SaintPhone also features a phone app and a text messaging app. These features are compatible with your existing cell phone network.

The crowd began cheering wildly, once they realized that the SaintPhone would replace both their cell phone and their Saint.

Dirk Roth - If you've ever been frustrated about having to carry both a Saint and a cell phone around with you, the SaintPhone is designed especially for you. The SaintPhone is compatible with all existing Saint software and apps and will contain the same bundled software as the Saint. The SaintPhone screen is smaller than the original Saint's screen and the device is optimized for use as a phone. If you already own a Saint and wish to purchase a SaintPhone, you will be able to re-download all of your digital purchases to your SaintPhone thanks to our revolutionary "Account System" feature. Now, you can download all of your digital purchases simultaneously to both a Saint and a SaintPhone. Thanks to the account system, even software purchased at retail and used on a Saint will be guaranteed to work on your SaintPhone device as well, so long as you have logged into your account on both devices.

The crowd cheered the announcement. Then, Prince Andreas began speaking in Latin.

Prince Andreas - Many of you are probably wondering how the text messaging system is going to work. I have already spoken about this at length with Royal Phone. RepublicSoft will be assisting in the rollout of a text message infrastructure to support the sending of "SMS" messages to other "SMS" compatible phones. Now, you will be able to send messages to any of your phone contacts, who own a SaintPhone, and you will be able to send messages to foreigners who have other "SMS" compatible phones. The SaintPhone is the best way to stay connected to your friends and family.

Suddenly, Prince Andreas switched to English

Prince Andreas - Mr. Roth, I think its time to reveal the great new software coming soon for Saint and SaintPhone.

Prince Andreas put the SaintPhone into Remote Broadcast mode, allowing it to broadcast over a large television screen so that everybody in RSG could see the new software.

Dirk Roth - I agree, Prince Andreas, so I give to you..... Robotfall

As Dirk Roth spoke those words, the trailer for Robotfall began playing. The game was set on another planet and looked very futuristic. The footage showed giant robots battling each other, although it was clear that the option to fight without a robot was also an option. Either way, every character seemed to have a giant gun. As this trailer was playing, the Sanctii portion of the crowd looked completely uninterested. It was obvious that this was intended for the Republican market. Finally, the trailer concluded and Dirk Roth began speaking again.

Dirk Roth - Robotfall is a revolutionary new futuristic military shooter simulator. Robotfall is not just another Medal of Duty clone. It is actually by the original creators of Medal of Duty and is the next big first-person-shooter. New content and new features will be added dynamically to Robotfall on a weekly basis to ensure that Robotfall never gets old. With Robotfall, you can experience battles between giant robots and compete online against your friends. Robotfall is the next big first-person-shooter and will be available soon exclusively for Saint, SaintPhone and PCs running Doors 9.

Roth had no interest in revealing, at that time, that Robotfall had no single player mode, would launch without a private lobby feature, had a 6V6 limit for multiplayer matches or that the matches would be loaded with AI bots that were incompetently programmed so they would be easy kills. Regardless, he knew that RepublicSoft was going to give some money to the critics to ensure that Robotfall got strong reviews, so he'd be able to sell it, in the Free Republics at least, on hype alone. He decided to move on to the next game, rather than bore a majority-Sanctii crowd any longer.

Dirk Roth - Our next exciting upcoming release is from RCES. Here's the trailer for Cantus Virginum Saves The Day:

Since Georgius Catiotus had disappeared for several weeks to compete in figure skating (with his wife Martha) at the Olympics, development of Cantus Virginum Saves The Day was behind schedule, but they were still able to produce a trailer, which started with the character selection screen, where the player could choose from 1 of 8 different Cantus Virginum singers. Then, it moved on to show some of the content and gameplay, revealing that Cantus Virginum Saves The Day was in 2D and that it scrolled from side to side. The characters were only mildly detailed.

The gameplay revolved around picking fruits out of the ground for power-ups and then using kicks to defeat monsters. The object of the game was clearly to jump across platforms, making it through the level. A voiceover informed those watching that Cantus Virginum was trying to recover the ceremonial robes of the Patriarch of the Church of Saintland. It was poorly timed, given that the Patriarch had died the night before, but they hadn't had enough time to change the video and decided to show it anyway. It was clear, from the trailer, that it wasn't ready to be released yet, but Prince Andreas wanted to reveal it anyway. Originally drawing a favorable reaction, the reaction from the crowd turned decidedly mixed by the end of the trailer.

Dirk Roth - Cantus Virginum Saves The Day is an innovative new software title about efforts by the popular singing group to save the day, after a Feministvs Sanctvsterra "activist" steals a very valuable item.

Roth was clearly bored and didn't want to have to talk about a "primitive" genre like the 2D platformer.

Dirk Roth - It is somewhat behind schedule at the moment, but now that the Olympics are over, Georgius Catiotus will be resuming work on it. He hopes to finish the project soon and have it ready for release, exclusively on Saint and SaintPhone.

A bored Dirk Roth showed trailers for several other games and described them. None of them were particularly notable or interesting. After Robotfall's trailer drew such an indifferent reaction, he decided on the fly not to reveal Super-Human III, since the Sanctii crowd likely wouldn't appreciate a game about a man who develops powers similar to a super hero. In Saintland, the talk was all about the SaintPhone while Republicans talked primarily about Robotfall and how "cool" it looked. Everything else was virtually ignored. Prince Andreas just hoped that the disastrous software reveals hadn't damaged the SaintPhone...

by **Annar** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 4:39 pm

The thrill of victory. The agony of defeat. Mostly agony, if truth be told. The crazy, murderous, leader-worshipping, and evil country had beaten them. Vimes buried his head in his hands. Someone from his home country was trying to murder one of their leaders, and all they could seem to do was lose football games. To murderers. He wished more than anything to be back at home.

The robot, if it came from Annar, would have come from the capital city. He would take a look around when he got the chance. If he did. Vetinari was about to start sending him the emails, the horrible "understanding" ones, which, although they seemed to offer only encouragement, also set an intangible deadline. His computer made a horrible beeping noise, cheerfully offering up the email.

by **Glaser** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 4:43 pm

Oh Glaserians, remember the times? / Reill N'sauier

It was so far back. Citizens of Glaser, remember the times when we hoped for a tie against Kinzar? When we would settle for a draw, and because of that lacking of motivation we actually tied against them? Oh, that was good times. Being first in the group now, we should and did beat Kinzar, especially at home. Well, let's look at the match.

The formation the Meliss played with.

Match Review:

You could see Glaser's desire for revenge against the Wildcats; Cod overlapped Dancer in the right side of the pitch in the first attack, and elevated a ball to Bronde'e Mur's head which reached Fielder first and he nudged it to a corner kick for the favor of the hosts. W'deyir took the corner and lifted the ball in the box, just to the reach of Tunney's clenched fist. The ball ricocheted over the defense to Hordro who didn't lift his head and immediately shot over the Wildcat's net.

The retaliation came not long after. In the fifteenth minute mark, after progressing with the ball in Glaser's half, Floria tried to pass to Shannon around the Glaser defense: the ball was seemed to be intercepted by Hordro but suddenly it slipped under his leg. Shannon instinctively dived on the ball but his diving shot was stopped by a wonderful body save by G'kroll. Hordro has to give credit to G'kroll for correcting a huge mistake made by Hordro.

In the 39th minute Bronde'e Mur criss-crossed Donald and was left alone dribbling to the oncoming Kinzite defenders; he diverted his run just before Fielder stole the ball from him and from that position he took the open pathway between Donald and Junior Nelson III and under heavy physical pressure from them he kicked the ball with the tip of his shoe over Tunney's leg. A wonderful solo goal for Glaser's exceptional forward.

Donald deliberately pulled down Puliito a bit after the half line to purposely stop the Glaserian counterattack after a Kinzite ball loss at the 43rd minute mark, and got the yellow card for that action. Gor curved an air ball in the box for someone to direct it to goal- no one reached the ball, and unless Tunney would have dived excellently and deflect the ball away, an embarrassing goal for the hosts would have gone in. Kenny Schneider looked furious while going down with his team to the dressing rooms.

The Dragons used the first corner they got three minutes after the break to stabilize Glaser's status as the winner of this match. Gor again curved the ball in the box, Dancer got his head to the ball first and nudged it away from the danger zone, right to Melirr; he kicked it to the goal, but again a Kinzite player got to the ball first: Homewood just reached his knee to the swirling ball and the ricochet from his knee got to Dret which this time didn't miss and directed his shot to the upper net. What a mess and frenzy in the Kinzite defense when a fixed position is being taken.

Cod nearly scored his first goal for this match at the 61st minute: Puliito chipped a through ball over all the Kinzite defense which was horrible this match. Cod reached the bouncing ball before Dancer and with a lack of the goalkeeper going out of the goal he blasted the ball to the left post and went to celebrate with his friends. But alas, the linesman lifted his flag and called for an offside. The camera replays confirm L'khordd was really in an offside position when the pass left Puliito's foot.

In the 85th minute mark, W'deyir sent a through pass to the running Dret who was brought down from behind by Donald, who got his second yellow card and was sent off the pitch. Mur calmly slotted his second of the game over Tunney's hand which dived to the right position. A minute later, Dret did the same action he did earlier which got Donald the second yellow in the defensive hole that was created and this time because he had no one to interfere with his dribbling he curved his shot to the right bottom corner.

Glaser formation for Landpolis.

by **Qazox** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 6:20 pm

QSPNWC68.com

Unless a miracle happens over the next 2 weeks, the countdown to the final game (for now, we hope) in Qazox football history has all but begun. A 5-2 loss at Polar Islandstates, despite 2 goals from Irena Lomax (16' & 84'); has Qazox 11 points out of third with 4 games left. The host Terns have cliched a playoff berth thanks to the win, which was sparked by 4 goals in the 1st half (Wolff 7', Koningstein 33' PK, Kolehmainen 38', Kolehmainen 45+2'). A Zeljeznicar goal in the 60th minute made it 5-1. Qazox will attempt to make what would be a historic comeback against Eastfield Lodge.

by **Nexxus Drako** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 6:31 pm

The poet by the name of Joshua Kevin was preparing to speak at the Free Esportiva rally in Drako City. He had written a poem about a dictatorship that had just recently moved to Esportiva.

He was called onto stage, and started to speak.

There once was a man,
He battled depression,
From Gregoryisgodistan,
He battled opression.

He wanted to say goodbye,
To the Amighty Lord,
He he dared not try,
To escape the horde.

When he finally did leave,
He ran for the hills,
He would get no reprieve,
For Lord Gregory kills.

They captured the man,
So his point was mooted,
In Gergoryisgodistan,
He was executed.

The crowd cheered, and the poet made national headlines and such, although it lasted about a week before he faded back into obscurity.

by **Razul** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 6:33 pm

Alia Warren, Economic Manager at National Sports Association of Razul
alia365@shininge.com

File Contents:

Petition for Funding for New Football Stadium, Response: No response yet (Due: April 6), Notes:

Petition for Funding for Domestic Tournaments, Response: Replied to (Negative — Currently funds are being used to pay for World Cup Expenses), Notes:

Petition for Expansion to More Sports, Response: Replied to (Indecisive — We'll see after the World Cup), Notes: AFTER THE WORLD CUP, PEOPLE!

Offer of Cooperate Sponsorship, Response: Replied to (Indecisive — Thank you for the offer we'll consider it), Notes: Ads. All over our stadiums and our jerseys and everything. On the plus side: money.

Extra Notes: Yeesh. I don't understand why people seem to think the team would be better with more money. It's not like you need that much equipment, at least for football. We just need an in-it-to-win, but positive attitude.

by **Carialus** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 7:56 pm

Wartorn
Part 10

Deala Invasion Beach-

The first wave of soldiers had been cut to ribbons by the MGs. A few soldiers had found refuge by obstacles and even less had made it to the sea wall. However, the defenses were weakened as the second wave came onto the beach. Once again, the doors dropped down and the soldiers piled out, sometimes on their feet and sometimes falling to the water.

The soldiers charged across the beach by the thousands. However, tens of thousands of bullets were being thrown their way. It was a game of luck. The Carialite soldiers would run towards the sea wall with their life out of their hands. They would either live to tell the tale or add more blood to the beach.

The invading soldiers weren't just letting themselves be killed and were fighting back. They were able to destroy three MGs with grenades, flame throwers, and bazookas. By the time the third wave landed, the only defenses left were artillery and a few MGs. Once the third wave landed, the defenses were overwhelmed and forced to withdraw. Carialus now had a foothold Deala.

by **Chiata** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 7:58 pm

Wartorn
Part 11

Over Deala-

Now that Carialus had a beachhead, Deala crucially needed support. Just like bringing in supplies, it was difficult to get troops to Deala by sea. Right now, Chiatan cruisers were sweeping the ocean and looking for enemy submarines, however, the waters were still not safe. For these reasons, Chiata once again resorted to using the Air Force. However, the runways in Deala were filled with defensive aircraft and some were even being destroyed. To get by this, Chiata would drop in paratroopers.

T-72s were loaded up with 50 troopers each and were filled with fuel. The "Goliaths" wrr'd to life and lifted from the runways. In total, 100 T-72s took to the skies along with 150 42-7s and 10 LPUs, a fuel plane that was like a T-72 except that instead of having a cargo bay it had a giant fuel tank.

The 260 planes crossed the North Sea uneventfully. When they reached Deala they began to meet trouble. Because of the frequent bombing raids, the AA gun placements confused the convoy as a group of bombers and began opening fire. The lead flight captain began screaming on the radio "friendly fire!" Sadly, when the firing stopped, three T-72s and seven 42-7s had been shot down with all crew onboard.

Now discouraged, the paratroopers began to jump out of the planes. However, because of the AA gun fire, the T-72s had spread out and some were out of their drop zones. When the troopers jumped out, all of their units were mixed up and mass confusion ensued. Also, there were some accidents of soldiers breaking bones on landing. Already, before combat, the 5,000 paratroopers had been narrowed down to 4,630 ready for combat and 50 wounded.

by **Super-Llamaland** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 8:35 pm

Chapter 1
Chapter 1.5
Chapter 1.75
Chapter 1.875
Chapter 1.9375
Chapter 1.96875
Chapter 1.984375
Chapter 1.9921875
Chapter 1.99609375
Chapter The End
Chapter 1.99804688
Chapter 1.99902344

COmdptet jRadnomess
Chapter 1.99951172

":p", somebody said.

Meanwhile, in Necromia, the spirit of Llama was searching for a way to escape. He desperately looked around, slowly losing his will to do so, battling against both himself, Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuk's "you should settle down" comments, and the complete and utter lack of an exit.

<No! No! There must be a way out!>
<There is not.>
<Yes, there is. People have done it before! Costa Luna did it!>
<He killed himself in this world. But 66.6666666666666666...>
(two hours later)
<666666666666666666666666666...>
<Just say two-thirds.>
<No. 666666666666...>
(six hours later)
<66666666...>
<Say two-thirds already!
<...66666662 percent of people do not survive. You must have extremely strong character...>

<...a baseball trophy...>

<Wait, what was the explosion, anyway?
<A bored spirit with a paper bag he blew full of air.>
<Ah. Yes. You stuff yourself in a paper bag and have somebody do that. That's how you die and get portalled back to the NS dimension.>
Llama only thought for .0000666666666666

2 seconds before coming to a decision. It was the only way.
<Get me a paper bag.>
<You'll regret this, Llama.>

<Okay, here! Get in! Are you sure about this! There is a .666->
<Get on with it.>
<Chance that you will roast in the fires of the Marshmallow Dimension for all of eternity minus (all of eternity minus ten->


There was a cosmic pop. A marshmallow appeared in the Marshmallow Dimension.

"Aw, ****!" the marshmallow yelled. It roasted for ten minutes, then popped back into the Necromia Dimension.


<Get the bag again.>

Unfortunately, Margaret, the Goddess of Chance, would not be kind to Llama that day. After sixty-three unsuccessful pops, of which the odds are 8.05843449e-10 out of 100 if you round slightly up to two-thirds, Llama then popped into the total vacuum of space with an improbability factor of <CENSORED.>

"Yowch!" somebody said, spilling hot milk upon their epidermis. Over five thousand years earlier, the wheel had been invented, although that didn't make the man feel much better. A cosmic computer attempted to tell the milk-spiller this fact, but the milk-spiller was crying, although probably not over the spilt milk so much as the boiling liquid on his epidermis.

Llama appeared in Justin Bieber's house. He quickly grabbed some oily rags, did...something...and then walked out of the burning house. He closed his eyes and focused. There was a flash of ice-blue lightning, and he was gone and in the ship.

"Glad to have me back?" Llama said, materializing in the lightning, which was now an Alex Whitelock shade of emerald green.

"YOU IDIOT!" SJG screamed.

"No?" Llama asked, taking a step back.

There was a loud shot. Hicana crumpled to the floor, blood streaming from his leg. "Ow ow ow ow ow!" Hicana yelled, then passed out.

"We're being attacked by the normals!" Jeck shouted from behind the refrigerator.

"The normals!?!?!?!" Llama said, so incredulously that when he typed it up later, he needed three question marks and four exclamation points to express this.

"We demand equal rights or something!" Mark Rogers disserted.

"No!" Gerald yelled. "You will not demand that! We demand to be better than you, since we're real people and you aren't!"

Llama tried (and failed miserably) to snap his fingers. He tried again, and got it. Jenni turned into a red panda.

"All right!" Llama said. "Do real people have that happen to them!"

"Y-you!" Gerald said, face red.

Llama turned Gerald into a yellow-bellied sapsucker. He then turned to face Gerald Smith the Physicist and Mark Rogers.

After finally submitting forty-seven minutes later, a yellow-bellied sapsucker, a red panda, a koala bear, and a one-foot-tall Velociraptor were turned back into people. They gasped on the ground, rolling around and coughing up fur, feathers, and scales.

"Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!" yelled the milk-spiller six years later before falling off of a mountain.

A bird yodeled in perfect unison with the milk-spiller.

Nobody cared, even though the bird saw through space-time and miles and miles of distance interdimensionally to sync its yodel perfectly.

Llama flashed and reappeared in a bolt of blue lightning.

"Like those moves?" Llama asked.

The blue lightning set the spaceship on fire.

"Oh no," said Llama. In the spreading flames, he felt somewhat like a marshmallow from another dimension.

"Llama!" Jeck scolded. "Do not set the spaceship on fire!"

The malfunctioning engine short-circuited and exploded. Nobody had time to scream.

"Where...am...I?" Llama blinked his eyes open. His head pounded with a passion.

"Urrrrggghhh..." Llama said. He was very thirsty. He closed his eyes. He opened his eyes. He looked around.

He was alone. Utterly alone.

"Not this again," he murmured, and passed out.

The same scene repeated itself as every occupant of the ship woke.

by **Maklohi Vai** » Fri Apr 04, 2014 8:40 pm

Anders looked out across the water, his husky blue eyes locking with a shimmering stroke on the far side of the bay. He put another hand on his cane and leaned forward. His wool cap budged slightly. "Lumo," he started to say, "I-"
"You don't need to apologize." The Vaian man, sitting on the end of the green bench, clasped his hands as he rested his elbows on his knees. He glanced up at the octogenarian.
"Forty years ago, Lumo, forty years and two weeks."
"Exactly. Wounds have time to heal."
"But even this one..."

Lumo stood up slowly and approached Anders. "You do not need to worry. Please."

Anders glanced at him, and, slowly turning up a corner of his mouth, muttered, "Perfect."

Anders dropped his cane, took off his gloves, and walked down the path along the water.

"What's the case, you say?"

"Man left dead by the bay, hit and stabbed with a blade concealed in a cane."

"Perp?"

"None yet, chief."

"And why the hell is this going through me and not the violent crimes people?"

"Important person, sir."

"How so?"

"Uncle of a celebrity."

"And what sort of celebrity warrants having his uncle being considered a VIP?"

"Football player, sir. Tumo Makanopalani."

"His uncle?"

"Yes, sir."

"And you don't have any leads?"

"None, sir."

"Start getting some. The papers are going to go crazy."

"Erik, come."

"What is it?"

"The papers have already picked up the death." Anders flicked the paper at him.

Makanopalani's Uncle Found Dead

by Polako Numarakanapai

KOLO LAHI — The Kolo Lahi Police Department has confirmed the death...

"You'll have to move quickly, Anders. Very quickly."

World Cup 68 RP Thread

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