World Cup 68 RP Thread

[Zwangzug]

"Thursday's child," said the shorter of the two men, under his breath, "has far to go."

"What's that now?" said the taller one, flicking his head over.

"Nothing," he stammered. "Er...I mean...nursery rhyme. Stupid little thing, overgeneralizing about people based on the day of the week they were born. I guess?"

"Aha! Beats your old month-of-the-year lark, I suppose?"

"Superstition, doesn't matter."

"Or year-of-the-docade!"

"Docade still isn't a word, no matter how hard you try."

"It's going to be the next big thing, I'm telling you! Time dilation--"

"--isn't a consistent ratio, I'm telling you, and even if it was? We are a long, long way from the World Cup or any tournament people actually care about."

He didn't like Kerlagrad. His colleague loved it, of course--the guy was probably only there because the Courier wouldn't give him a real job--but it wasn't for him. And not just because of the lack of quality journalism; cities, in general, weren't his scene. Maybe it was unpatriotic to yearn for an open road--a real open road, with cars and other such vices gouging their way through the supposed natural beauty--but train rides got tedious. Particularly train rides in the presence of the aforementioned colleague.

"Fair enough," said the latter. "So give me another, then."

"Another what?"

"Another day of the week?"

"Um, the...the child that's born on the Sabbath day is bonny and blithe and good and gay."

Before he could elaborate, the other man cut in. "Aha! Stereotyping some more, are we?"

"It's not--"

"Why do they have to be good and gay? How about schemingly malevolent and gay? Gay people can be dastardly villains too, you know!"

"I will inform the creators of the nursery rhyme," he nodded politely. There was only so much that could be done.

"You had better. We reach an enormous audience, you know! Nice to see you having a little pride. For once."

"If you're finished, I have an interview to tape. For some reason."

"Yes, yes, I won't keep you. Good luck!"

Rolling his eyes, he fiddled with the microphone some more, as his colleague paced off muttering about other underrated combinations of sexuality and character alignment, presumably from an epic campaign of Dungeons, Dragons, and maybe some Damsels, or not, whatever.

The interviewee was ten minutes late, blushing as he sprinted the last few steps. "Sorry," he said, "missed the train."

"It's all right." The microphone, unfiddled with, was placed aside. Maybe he'd found a kindred spirit, someone who was equally unimpressed by the Kerlagrad rapid transit system? "You ready?"

He nodded. Everything the interviewer had been told to expect; a teenager, barely out of high school, clearly from a Bigtopian family. His face was difficult to read--frustration at the train, embarrassment about running late? Or maybe a slight sense of ridiculousness that they were there at all, that the conversation was even happening? It was one thing to be embarrassed about delays out of your control, another to regret your own lack of haste that had made you late. Perhaps another, still, to be bemused by everything that had brought them here.

"Well, okay. It's nice to meet you!"

(Rais-Sonnen 24 and 71, Ruan 43, Coelho 56)

[Darvale]

Excelsior News

---

A Bad Start
Darvale make their debut in the World Cup with a 2-0 loss
Ramón Pérez | Legalese | 5:26 pm DST

---

Manager Rusley after the match, clearly disappointed


EXCELSIOR NEWS - It was one of those rare occasions where the Darvalian team walked off the pitch in defeat, with their hopes of victory in the World Cup crushed by the nation of Brenecia. "Of course, we are very disappointed that we lost, especially when this is our debut match in this prestigious tournament. But, we played our best and we know that, but Brenecia played better." Head Coach Grigori Petrov said in an interview after the match. The Suns lost 2-0 against the Esportivan nation of Brenecia earlier, to the disappointment of pretty much every Darvalian sport-fanatic.

The game kicked off to a roar of applause, the ball staying in the midfield for the majority of the time. The Darvalians had a wonderful chance to score in the 3rd minute, after a wonderful cross from Mavis Huberman landed at the feet of James Tanner, whose volley flew just wide of the left post, to the relief of Franca Connell, who dived to the wrong side. In the 7th minute, a splendid long pass from Steed Raynor at the half-line managed to reach Brad Kuepper, who managed to lob the ball over Noah Garver. However, the Darvalians were saved by a quick Evan Allen, who, with an almost impossible shred of luck, dove headfirst towards the ball and arrived just in time to block the ball with his head.

In the 12th minute, the Brenecians were in the attack again, their midfield constantly providing sly passes to Brad Kuepper and Gareth Farrell. One of these passes, from winger Fiona Sylver, somehow ended up from the left wing to an unsuspecting Gareth Farrell, who was just outside the box. Farrell, who did not see the ball coming, just turned around to break away from a resistant Anthony Arben. The ball arrived just as Farrell turned around and he accidentally chipped one in from 17 meters with the exterior of his right foot, which was in the process of turning. 1-0 in 12 minutes.

7 minutes later, in the 19th minute, Osmond Powell was put on to the pitch to replace Evan Allen, who had apparently mildly hurt his head after that magnificent save. Darvalian fans rose up from their seats in a standing ovation as Allen walked off the pitch, gripping his head. It was the first time Powell would be playing, and, according to Petrov, he was "A hard-working, talented player who deserves to be in the First 11 after Allen or Arben retires".

In the 16th minute, the Brenecians were still in attack, possessing the ball for the majority of the ball so far, Kuepper and Farrell constantly pressuring the defence and trying Garver. On one such occasion, Kuepper, with the ball 23 meters away from the goal, tried his luck and executed an almost perfect shot that Garver only just managed to tip upwards.

The ball, after being tipped, hit the post and landed beside a lucky Farrell, who was silently waiting in the 6 meter box for a few minutes already. Farrell managed to dribble past Garver but was immediately tackled by Powell, who had emerged just behind Garver, and, still unseen by Farrell, performed a fantastic slide-tackle that, luckily, touched the ball before touching Farrell's ankle.

Farrell nonetheless tripped and fell to the ground, to the anger of his teammates, who were by now repeatedly calling for a penalty and a booking. The referee however, who was just behind Powell and Farrell during the incident, saw that the tackle was perfectly legitimate and let play continue.

A few minutes later, in the 24th minute, Donovan Maform, rapidly advancing, sent the ball forward to star striker William Beveran, who stayed on spot, to the surprise of Seth Greig, who slipped in a failed attempt to slow down to stay with Beveran. Beveran passed Greig when he was still on the ground and fired the ball at Franca Connell who did not see a hint of the ball until it had ricocheted off the top-right corner of the post.

6 minutes later, in the 30th minute, Maform was pictured again with the ball, but he was lurking around the half-line this time, slyly biding his time, waiting for Tanner to break away from Greig, who was constantly sticking to him. However, Tanner finally managed to break away from Greig for a split-second, creating an opportunity which Maform immediately seized, sending the ball low to Tanner, who, dribbled pass Greig with such technique and skill that Greig fell down backwards, as if the dribble was something of an ankle-breaker in basketball. Tanner proceeded, and, after slowly winding up, abruptly fired the ball when the defence and Connell were least expecting it, and the ball was only stopped by Connell's last-moment reflex that moved her left hand up and blocked the ball.

34th minute, the Brenecians are slowly recovering from the burst of Darvalian attacks, Spitfire, Chenoweth, Raynor and Sylver providing passes to Farrell and Kuepper, who were constantly sending magnificent balls to the goal, only to be stopped by the seemingly impossible reflexes of Noah Garver. However, on one occasion, these reflexes were almost broken by a tricky shot by Kuepper. Spitfire, on the wing, passed the ball inwards towards Chenoweth, who immediately followed up with a pass to Kuepper, who was only a few seconds away from a second goal, until Powell took the ball away. However, Farrell took the ball back and mini-chipped the ball back to Kuepper, who semi-volleyed the ball just past the upright.

46th minute now, the Suns are getting more and more anxious to get back that goal, already in the second half now, Darvale in possession of the ball, Gibson passed it to Huberman, Huberman to Roppet on the other wing. Roppet crossed it forward, Tanner, barely managed to collect the ball, Chartreuse tried to kick the ball but she instead kicked Tanner's foot. Tanner was sprawled on the floor in pain as the referee handed out a yellow card. Jones came on to substitute Tanner.

The Brenecians have slowly gained the upper hand in this match, with a 52%-48% possession in their favor. In the 59th minute, Chartreuse passed the ball forward to Chenoweth, who immediately sent it forward to an unmarked Kuepper, who only had Noah Garver in his way to the goal. Kuepper advanced to 12 meters to the goal until Garver started advancing, which caused him to attempt to curve the ball in. Kuepper did manage to execute a perfect curve, but Garver managed to block it with his forearm. However, an extremely fast Farrell managed to head the ball in when it was still in the air. 2-0 in 59 minutes.

In the 76th minute, Caleb Gibson and Donovan Maform were in the attack with Matthew Jones and William Beveran, the 4 players were passing to each other in a square formation, until Jones suddenly broke the formation and sliced the ball with the end of his foot. The position of his foot during contact with the ball caused it to go in a lob with an odd effect that was seemingly pulling it back. Photographic and video after the match proved that the ball still managed to pass the goal line, Connell tipping the ball back after it had crossed the line. However, the referee didn't see that, and let play continue, to the dismay and frustration of the Suns.

That was the last action of the match, you will be able to have a similar match report for tomorrow's match, against the Atlantian Oceanian nation of Furellum.

[The Sarian]

One Shot - Part Two

When I got home, my mother was already making the diner. Food was a constant subject of conversation in our village because there was so little of it and everyone grew their own. We were lucky. As well as a vegitable patch we had a dozen chickens, which were all good layers so (unless the neighbours crept in and stole them) we always had plenty of eggs. She was making a stew with potatoes, turnips and tinned tomatoes that had turned up a week earlier in the village shop and that had sold out instantly. It was exactly the same meal that we had the night before. She would serve it with slabs of bread and, of course, a small glass of whisky. I had been drinking whisky since I was nine years old.

My mother was a slender women with bright blue eyes and hair that was once as blond as mine but was already grey, even though she was bearly fourtey. She wore it tied back so that I could see the curve of her neck. In our household, my mother and grandmother did most of the talking. My father was a very thoughtful man who looked exactly like the scientist he was, with black hair which was going grey around the edges and a serious sort of face made to look more so with his glasses.

He lived in Estrov but his heart was still in the city. He kept all his old books around him and when letters came from the city, he would disappear to read them and at diner he would be miles away. Why did I never question him anymore? I ask myself now but I suppose no body ever does. When you are young, you accept your parents for what they are and you believe the stories they tell you.

Conversation at dinner was often difficult because my parents didn't like to discuss their work at the factory and there was only so much I could tell them about my day at school. As for my grandmother, she had somehow got stuck in the past, twenty years ago, so most of what she said had no relevance to anything. But that night was different. Apparently, there had been an accident, a fire at the factory... nothing serious, but my father was worried and for once he spoke his mind.

"It's these new investors, all they think about is money. They want to increase production and to hell with safety measures. Today it was just in the generator but what about if it was in one of the labs?"

"You should talk to them"

"They won't listen to me. They are pulling the strings from KWC and they have got no idea what goes on." He threw back his whisky and swallowed in one gulp. "That's the new Sarian for you, Tevra, We all get wiped out and as long as they get their check, they don't give a fuck."

That struck me as insane. There couldn't be any real danger, not here in Estrov.How could the production of fertalizers and pesticides do anyone harm?
"We should have never gone along with this. We should never have been a part of it." My father refilled his glass. He didn't drink as much as other people in the village but, like them, he used to drink his whisky heavily. "The sooner we get out of this pile of crap, the better. We've been here long enough."

"The swans are back," my grandmother interjected. "They're so beautiful this time of year." There were no swans in the village. There had never been any swans in the village. There had never been any swans in the country.

"Are we really going to leave?" I asked "Are we really going to go and live in a city like KWC or Chippenham?"

My mother reached out a ruffled my hair, "Maybe one day Joshua. And you can go to University, like your father. If you are willing to work hard."

The next day was a sunday and I had no school. On the other hand, the factory never closed and my parents both worked weekends. That meant going to work till five and leaving me to clean the house and look after my grandmother. Henry came round after breakfast but we both had a lot of homework, so we agreed to meet down by the river at six and perhaps kick a ball around with some others. Just before midday I was lying on my bed, trying to plough my way through my Science homework, with my head close to the window, allowing the sun to slice through onto the pages of my textbook. It was a very quite morning. Even the chickens had managed to stop their endless noise and it was only the ticks on my watch that were making any noise.

I glanced up at the time, it was sixteen minutes past twelve. And that was when I heard the explosion. Actually, at the time I didn't think it was an explosion. It sounded like a paper bag being crumpled. I climbed off the bed and went and looked out of the open window. A few people were walking across the fields but otherwise there was nothing to see. I returned to the homework. How could I have forgotten my parents' conversation the previous night?

About half an hour passed. And then I heard another strange sound. Soft and far away, but unmistakable all the same. It was gunfire, the sound of an automatic weapon being emptied. That was impossible. People went hunting sometimes, but never with machine guns, and there had never been any military exercises in this area. I looked out the window a second time and saw smoke rising to the air. That was when I knew something had happened, something major. The smoke was coming from the factory.

I leapt off my bed, dropping my textbook and ran down the stairs out of the house. The village was completely deserted. Our chickens were strutting around the front door of our house, I heard a dog barking, if you ignored the smoke, everything was eerily normal.

No sooner had I thought this when the alarm went off. It was extraordinary, deafening, like nothing I had ever heard before. It couldn't have been more deafening if the Yttribians had invaded. Maybe they were? Maybe this was a beginning of the end?

I quickly realised the sound was coming from the factroy, more than a mile away! How could it be so loud? Even my school's fire alarm was nothing like this. The high pitched siren continued to wail, it seemed to spread out from a single point till it was everywhere, behind the forest, over the hills, in the sky - and yet at the same time it was right next to me, in front of my house. I knew know there had been another accident. I had heard it. I was sure it was an explosion now. But that was half an hour ago at least. Why was the alarm only going off now?

The siren finally stopped. And in that split second there was silence, it was like the countryside, the village I grew up in was just a picture, and I was on the outside looking in. There was nobody around me, the chickens had scattered and the dog had stopped barking.

I snapped back to reality when I heard the engine, a car came hurtling toward me, bumping along the mud track. The first thing I noticed was that it was a black Ilgana. Then I took in the bullet holes all over the body work, and the shattered windscreen. But only when it stopped did I notice the shocking truth. My father was in the front seat. My mother behind the wheel.

---

Line Up for Next Match

[Armakistan]

Armakistan Lose Thrilling Opening Match

The Armakistan team learnt just how cruel the World Cup qualifying can be last night going down 4-3 to a strong Quakmybush side. Coming 3rd in the BoF looked so easy after the toughness of this fixture. The game started with some strong tackles from the opposition which took Armakistan by surprise. However there tough-as-nails captain replied with his own on the 7th minute. The outcome? A yellow. He'd be walking on a tightrope for the rest of the game. Armakistan never got into the game in the first half. They found themselves down 2-0 at the break thanks to a lovely passing move which was finished with a delightful lob by the opposition striker. The second showed Armakistan still had some way to come on the world stage as the defense was left for dead by quick speed and deadly passing. The same striker blasted home from close range.

Armakistan though have spirit. They fought on. They pushed hard at the start of the second and were rewarded with a goal. Bucklebury was set free by lovely link up play between Freddy Bell and James Darling and the new found star of Armakistan football slotted the ball past the on rushing keeper. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard after all? Oh no wait...

From kickoff Quakmybush launched a quick attack. A 35 yard pass allowed the attack to bypass the midfield and great control and awareness opened up the two striker and the right winger to an easy 3-2 against the Armakistan center backs. The winger took the ball forward and beat his marker for pace before playing a through ball towards the strikers between the second defenders legs. This put both players in front of goal with only the goalkeeper left to beat and they almost messed it up. The shot was taken and saved, but the rebound was fired home by the second striker. 3-1 and goals where still to come. First though changes. Potters came off for Evergreen and Appleby was subbed off for Martins.

Armakistan tried to play their game and slowly got back into it holding possession and creating chances. Finally one fell to leading goalscorer Nick Kelly who collected the ball on the outside of the box from Darling and quickly played it back while starting a run around his marker. The ball was returned by Darling as he lobbed the marker and landed the ball at Kelly's feet one on one. Kelly doesn't miss and he slammed into the top left corner. 3-2 could the come back be on? Well Armakistan pushed and in the 85th minute they drew level. Another substitute William Taser, on for Bucklebury who was still building up match fitness, managed to steal the ball on the half way line and play it wide to Martins he played in back across the pitch to Darling who with his first touch knocked it past his marker and then ran after it. Darling didn't look for support he ran at the defense and after some lightening fast step overs he beat them on the outside and looked to cross the ball into the box. No one was there and he was being chased. Quickly he changed direction to back the way he came causing the closest follower to slip. Now the box was full and on his weaker foot to crossed the ball beautifully onto the head of Kelly who had no trouble knocking it past the keeper. It was level with 5 minutes to go, but it was not to be.

Quakmybush looked for the winner and annoyingly to Armakistan it was rather simple. Hanson was caught out of position by his opposition number would was able to cross the ball into the box and after no one really connected and the ball had bounced around the 6 yard box, one of Quakmybush's midfielders managed to poke to ball past the diving keeper to win the first qualifying game in Group 19. Armakistan will be unhappy not to have won a point but there is plenty of games still to play as the side now travels to Ratastan before they finally get to play their first home international match at the new home of Armakistan football The Marston Arena.

[Greater Watford]

Joe Davis-Executive boxes
Here I was, a few hours from seeing the first game of WC68 qualifying. I’d flown cross-region to Furellum, and was excited to see the Hornets in action. Of course, Furellum were higher ranked than us, so a draw would be good for us. I was sitting with Nathan Ashmond, the chief scout.

“What’d you expect of Furellum?” I asked
“It’s tough to say, they’ve not publicised their squad. I’d gamble on there being a few goals though, watching us in training saw many goalscoring opportunities created.” was his response.
“Good to hear. Optimistic for this campaign?”
“I suppose I have to be” he chuckled”. “But seriously, some good results and consistency, and I see us challenging for the playoffs”.
“Well I’d be glad to get to the playoffs, it would show the world we’re advancing”. I sat and contemplated the idea of us being in the World Cup itself. No, I said, it’s too soon for those thoughts.

Gianpedro Dominico-Halftime, Furellum 1-1 Greater Watford.
“Right guys. We’re doing well OK, that goal was unfortunate to concede. I think we could take them, but it’s gonna require some battling”. I spoke to the 23 before me, 11 looking battle-worn, but ready for the second half.
“Mannetti, keep up the fine work, your goal pleased me. Lincoln, Serven, keep taking chances and creating them, and we’ll breakthrough.” I addressed the strikers.

“Tilder and Revson, keep the suplpy from the wings. Now Harris, don’t always look to push forward. Look to play the ball back to a teammate if necessary. We can’t score if we don’t have the ball”.

“Razdeski, King, Warthons, keep yourself between the ball and the goal. They’re not getting many shots, so restrict them. Be careful from set pieces, they’re our weakness at the moment.” I confidently told the defenders.

“Hemsworth, stay focused, and be ready for any long shots”. I patted the goalkeeper on the back as he stood up to return to the pitch.

“Now, go out there and take the fight to them!” I shouted out, as I saw a red shirt and 10 yellow shirts run past me.

Mario Mannetti-87th minute, Furellum 2-2 Greater Watford
“Come on!” I yelled, as we advanced from a corner. It was a long game, and we were tiring, but we could still score. I saw Harris run down the centre with the ball. I charged forward, and saw the defenders run to cover me off. The ball had already been sent forward. It was now or never. I saw the ball come to head height. Instinctively, I flicked it on with my head, and rushed to get it onto my foot. It was hovering just under knee-height, but I only had one touch before I’d be tackled. That was it. I took the shot on the volley.

It’s hard to describe the feeling of a great shot. All I know was as the ball curved into the corner of the net, I knew I’d delivered. I was a hat-trick hero. The ball wasn’t even in the net, as I rushed over to the sea of yellow away supporters. Sliding on my knees, I felt a rough grab from behind, as my teammates piled onto me in celebration. 3-2. A few more minutes remained, but I believed that I’d secured the winner.

They call it the beautiful game, and when you deliver a performance like that, it’s hard to find anyone who’d disagree with you.

[Antoletia]

Fire Ants Start Qualifiers With Victory

IT was a good opener for the Fire Ants of Antoletia as they opened the World Cup qualifiers with a home matchup with relative unknowns UzBenistan. The UsBenistani's were just coming off of their Baptism of Fire with a overall record of 2-0-2 and really nothing big in the way of accomplishments. The Fire Ants handily defeat their opponents on the day 3-1 behind an impressive new team on the pitch. The Fire Ants started 6 players for the first time, and 1 player who has long flirted with starting and being the first sub off the bench. It was a great easy game to get the campaign underway with and the Fire Ants were able to begin a new with continued play like they have for the last few seasons. Continuing it through out the campaign will surely see them on to another world cup.

The real spark for the team in the first half was the two fullbacks, Funar and Cobacaru, both getting their first starts and both impressing for the Manager. Eventually their continual speed and alacrity for finding space led to the opening goal in the 35th minute when Funar passed the ball in for a rising Anton Gregovich to pound the ball past the UzBenistan goalie. Then the floodgates opened up as two more Antoletian goals were scored. Hannibal found a streaking Funar on the right, who blasted a shot off the goalie and to the feet of vice Captain Georghe von Leeweonheouck who pushed the ball into the open net. The Ants would go three clear when Funar was given a goal of his own on a misjudged ball by the goalie from the halfway line. The Fire Ants Goalkeeper Anghelescu was only stopped from getting a clean sheet in only his second cap as the UsBenistani's put a charge into the game late and came away with a consolation goal.

[The Icemark]

...

[Taeshan]

Purple Knights Demolish Krad United

With all the festivities of any other opening game in any other sport the world Cup qualifiers have begun, and for the Purple Knights of Taeshan they got off as expected, without a hitch in a 4-1 defeat of unheralded Krad United. The Purple Knights are attempting this qualifier to shed the 3 year plague that has mocked them in their failures to qualify for the world cup. It will not be easy, especially with group favorites Valanora heading the 8 sides and notable crushers of Taeshani dreams from the last qualifying, Quebec, also in the Group. Beyond that the only team with any hope of making the playoffs is Kintratar and really they are from from hopeful of qualifying.

The games first goal came rather quickly 10 minutes in as the Knights expressed their desire to win and talent early on finding the net behind a fury of action in the Krad United box that somehow led to a header from Jordan Jaffacake into the net. After that it was rather easy pickings for the Knights as they made it 2-0 in the 30th with a Jeremi Krieder screamer and in the 38th Jaffacake got a second on a rather obviously played corner kick, but in the end it worked. The Knights started the second half rather sluggish and that led to Krad United's lone goal of the afternoon. This defensive mishap led to some rather quick changes in the Taeshani defense as the brace scorer, Jaffacake, and Left back Jeremiah Longwaters were replaced by Tyler Provyay and Max Toledo. Later a third defensive change was made as Provyay took a nock in the head forcing Gwyn Juniper to move Lydie out to left Back and squeeze in Dusty Latrine in the middle for Toledo. The Knights would find a fourth goal late as Brian Ibrahim poached a goal from a mishandled play from the Krad United goalie.

[Kernansquillec]

The Power of Football #2
Matchday. The big one. The whole country had been waiting years for this. Now it was actually here! Kate couldn't believe what she was seeing when she saw those 11 players covered in green and white walk out on to that pitch. The Tivali-Ring Stadium it was called. It was in some far away, foreign sounding capital of Vilita, a place known as Alikki-Corra.

Kate had found herself a nice little spot towards the front of the crowd that had formed outside the local town hall. The match was being projected onto a big screen at the front so that everyone could see it well. Not many people had televisions since the War. A new broadcasting system had rendered most of them useless. But things were looking up now.

While the national anthem was being played Kate caught a glance of the black armbands each player was wearing. A sad reminder of the tragedy that had been a part of live for so many, for so long. It was getting to be a bit too much, a bit to real for a couple of the players. You could clearly see Ellysa and Lilac holding back their tears. Many watching didn't. But then, the referee blew his whistle. And everything stopped. Everyone stopped shouting, stopped singing, stop crying. Silence. Sixty long seconds of absolute silence. All across Kernansquillec but also beautifully respected by the Vilitan crowd.

Then the massive roar. It was now game on! 90 minutes to see just what this new bunch of players were made of.

We kicked off and we didn't play badly. We were very solid in the first 10 minutes, forcing a corner after Iris caused a few problems for Molali. But Vilita started to show their quality. After a warning shot from Ylimaiina the 25 year old forward smashed a shot past Elyssa just past the 20 minute mark. Groans came from everyone watching. Kate did too. But we didn't lose hope. The 7,000 odd Kernansquillecans to make the long trip didn't lose hope either. Almost immediately they were signing with all of their might.

And oh my God didn't they shout and scream and cry as the clock ticked 28'32. A clearance was well kept in play by Zac Poutre. All of a sudden a break was on. 4 v 4. And then Poutre sent in what was the perfect ball. One of those curling balls that just seems to hang in the air. And it almost seemed as if it was attracted to Peter Lilac's head because he hit it perfectly.

GOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!

One one. One all. An equalizer! It was amazing! Everyone was going bonkers. We almost missed Steffyn Siazzu fire a long range shot onto the bar. Vilita hadn't let that goal shake them at all. The Kers were under a lot of pressure. But the defense was staying solid and compact. Kate Elyssa made a couple of good saves as well. For a little while it looked as if the Kers could maybe, just maybe cause an upset.

Half time finally arrived after three added minutes where Vilita hardly left Kernansquillec's 18 yard box. But we'd survived the first 45 minutes onslaught. Everyone was pretty happy so far. Kate didn't stop chatting during half time with her friends that we around here. Eventually after what seemed like a very short break the two teams emerged from the tunnel, Kernansquillec in their green and white kit with the black arm bands, Vilita in their kit made up of black, white, orange and blue-green.

This time round Kernansquillec's defense didn't hold long. On Vilita's first proper attack of the second half Kristofer Kilpter had his first goal of his qualifying campaign. Things didn't get any better unfortunately as Vilita finally got the rewards for their dominance as Kilpter grabbed himself a second with a 17 yards strike. The Green Stalions were suddenly down 3-1 before the hour mark. It had hit people watching hard, but credit to the fans at the stadium, they were still going at it with everything they had.

OH WHEN THE KERS GO MARCH-ING IN!

We were actually getting back into the game. Vilita may have turned the gas down a bit but the Green and Whites were definitely playing better now. Zac Poutre was causing a load of problems down the right-wing. Lilac had a couple of decent efforts, but they both went wide. The final ten minutes was closing in. Still the Kers were behind by the two goals. Kate was starting to think that it might be all over. That dream start wouldn't be.

But then: after a couple of scrappy balls in midfield a defense slitting ball from Poutre sent Noupen free. The Guingamp forward stayed calm to slot the ball past Jaqe Planst. At 3-2 the whole complexion of the game had changed. One more goal and Kernansquillec had a point. One more goal and it would be brilliant. And they had just under 8 minutes plus added time to find it.

Kernansqulliec were now starting to get on top. Attacks were building but were missing a cutting edge against a solid Vilita back four. Lilac eventually got a shot away but Planst held on tight. Everyone watching was now on the edge of their seats. Now the Kers were going forward again.

Quaby to Fengouli. Fengouli to Noupen. Noupen back to Fengouli and onwards to Cressac. Into Vilita's final third. Cressac pushing foward. Quick back pass to Poutre. POUTRE WITH THE CROSS! Cleared! Now Vilita were on the break. What a ball! And Kilpter is in one on one for the hat-trick... SAVED! Fabulous save by Ellysa!

Corner for Vilita thought. Just the minute and a half of added time left...

Fair play to Vilita, they didn't play around with the corner. They knocked in right into the box. But the goal that Miiara Makose scored from it put an end to Kernansquillec's hopes of an upset. It was hard to take but it had been a brave performance. Vilita did deserve to win to be fair. Still, it didn't stop Kernansquillec putting up a very respectable performance that will surely worry their fellow unranked opponents in the group who all lost as well.

Kate took the long way home. She wanted to have a look at the sunrise. It had been tiring staying up till 5:30AM to watch the first game but it had been worth it, even if it ended in defeat. But next week would see unranked Sammelreich visit Kernansquillec's capital. This time it wouldn't be a late night but an afternoon game. This time victory could well be the outcome. This time, Kernansquillec would win.


KERFA Overview

VILITA 4 - 2 KERNANSQUILLEC
Ylimaiina 22' Kilpter 48' 53' Makose 90'+3' // Lilac 29' Noupen 82'

Kernansquillec's currant league position: 5th/8 (0-0-1, -2)

Next game: vs. Sammelreich (at National Stadium, Kernansquillec City, Kernansquillec)

Expected starting line-up: Kate Elyssa; Mary Cressac, Julian Yegos, Jean Dubois, Stuart Kellah; Julia Fengouli, Silvio Quaby, Marie Iris, Zac Poutre, Adélaïde Noupen; Peter Lilac

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT #1: A minute's silence will also be held for Kernansquillec's first home game against Sammelreich before kick-off. Kernansquillec will also be lining up in a special all black with dark green trimming kit in memory of all those who died during the War of Independance.

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT #2: The latest KERFA domestic rankings have been released on our official website: http://kernansquillecanfa.wix.com/kerfa

[Audioslavia]

From Astograth to Zwangzug
The runners and riders of World Cup 68
Part Two

Cassadaigua is a name that, when scribbled next to that of your own nation, with a large 'Vs' in the middle, can often cause the bowels to rumble in protest, occasionally resulting in the seeped release of feces from the back-side area in preparation for said area to be ripped from its moorings and served to the recently bum-bereft on a silver platter. That may be a rather visceral way of saying 'Dagans are big, scary, and good at football', but that particular sentence utilises an oxford comma and as such can go die in a fire.

It might come as a surprise to most, then, when, while drying their underwear, they read that the Dagans are ranked outside the top thirty. The former two-time champions - albiet with both victories coming in the days of perms, tiny shorts and the discovery of the avocado - have fallen in hard times as of late, dropping out of the World Cup altogether at one point, but the Dagans are always dangerous, especially when their sheer imposing size is taken into account, and the inclusion of the girls (and boys) in pale pink in one's group is sure to cause to rather sweaty palms - especially for those partial to the giant, broad-shouldered women of the Dagan nation.

Cassadaigua are just one of a slew of sides that used to reserve hotels in World Cup citiies for the full four weeks, but who now find themselves twiddling their thumbs on the sofa every fourth June. Not too long ago, Sargossa and Saugeais has players pencilled in to every nerd's World Cup fantasy football team, but recent cycles have seen both teams entirely absent from the competition. Recent wins in the Copa Rushmori and Cup of Harmony respectively for the two sides have ensured the years haven't been wasted, but fans of both are anxious for their teams to return to their 'rightful' place in the top thirty. Whether this generation of Saugeains and Sargossans can match up to previous standards remains to be seen. Either way, one shouldn't be too confident while betting against them.

The same can't really be said for Schiavonia.

The Schiavone have been part of the football landscape, in some form or other, as long as most can remember, but a recent hiatus has shorn the side completely of natural talent and, with such a meagre population to choose from, the former semi-finalists and Cup of Harmony winners are expected to finish bottom of their qualifying group. The famous amber and red shirts will ensure a few photo ops for supposed 'lesser' nations, but the fact is that Schiavonia, cruelly dubbed 'knobjockeys' by the Audioslavian press, are likely to be out-played even by the most star-struck of opposition.

Or will they?

Schiavonia failed to progress past the first round of the AOCAF Cup earlier in the year, but the side did score a victory over an (admittedly weakened) Audioslavia side in the compeition before their trip home. In a tournament where every point is a bonus, Schiavonia will be making it as difficult as possible for sides to leave their home ground with all three points.

Gatekeepers are cool, aren't they? The one in MacBeth is really funny, and then there's St. Peter who gets so many punchlines in pub jokes, and those two fellas who can only lie or tell the truth and can only be fooled by a tricky, if long-since cemented in common knowledge, one-sentence question. Or a hammer. There's very few guards in the world who can outmaneuvre a well-aimed hammer. There's something oddly pleasing about the word, too. 'Gatekeeper'.
"What do you do for a living, Jeff?"
"I'm a gatekeeper. I keep the gate. Keep it right here, so I do. Stay."

Only, in this sporting context, I have to admit that the term 'Gatekeeper' is a somewhat perjorative one. In boxing, where the term originates, a gatekeeper is a fighter who can't quite match up to the champions and challengers, but has little difficulty dispatching those fighters with the desire, but not quite the talent, to reach the top. They are the gatekeepers to the upper floors of the sport, allowing through the doors only those who are capable, but without the ability to enter themselves.

Not even in transition. Some teams are as good as they ever were, or will be.

Qazox have been around long enough to see the tournament won by the likes of Casari, Squornshelous and Bedistan. They've seen the Bettia/Ariddia era come and go, and witnessed the rise of Valanora and Starblaydia first hand, but have never themselves truly threatened to add their own name to the list of the elite. In the modern era, it sometimes appears as if the men in cyan and scarlet have all but given up on the idea of being even a World Cup semi-finalist, yet remain on the world scene as a yardstick by which younger, hungrier national football teams can measure themselves. That is not to say, of course, that the team from the Q Continuum are not themselves at least capable of hanging with the big teams. Last time round, they were dispatched 7-4 by Audioslavia in a ridiculous game, but picked themselves back up to win the return encounter, tanning the Bulls' leather hides as a reminder that, despite the lack of silverware, the team can, on any given day, deliver a beating to those who would under-estimate the noble Q.

Elsewhere amongst the gatekeepers, Taeshan and Blouman Empire are two teams that, despite entering around fifty cups between them, have consistently failed to perform when it really matters. The latter, at least, have found some consistency after bouncing around the middle reaches of the world rankings and, from fourteenth in the world, are at least well placed to have a good crack at World Cup 68 and go metaphorically slamming the laptop lids of snarky Audioslavian journalists firmly on their chubby, pale fingers. Taeshan, on the other hand, find themselves barely in the top fifty, long since removed from the sort of team that used to bound through the qualifiers barely conceding a goal.

Jeruselem, very much the odd-balls of world football, can set themselves aside from the above three nations, somewhat, by virtue of the fact that they have, actually, reached a World Cup final on a previous occasion, even if most televisions were black and white at the time. They do, also, hold the record for most appearances in the final thirty-two with a whopping forty-seven appearances - more than previous finalists Audioslavia and Polar Islandstates put together. Impressive? Sure. A mark of success? Not quite. "You can never write off the Jeruselemites" said no one, ever. Jeruselem will be in with a chance of reaching the latter stages if they break a recent habit and qualify for the World Cup, but few will be sweating at the prospect of playing the team - unless they resume their policy of playing naked, anyway.

[Cassadaigua]

Recapping World Cup 67 Financially,
by Maureen Kingston, Dean of Economics, New Lakeland Business School

Another World Cup is beginning, and Legalese and Free Republics pick up their consolation prize hosting job after half of them (oh, who are we kidding, its like its both of them!) were defeated by the superior bid from Cassadaigua and Equestrian States for the prior World Cup. After dropping Casaran, these two provided an adequate enough bid to impress the World Cup Committee that them hosting was better then no one hosting. Fortunately, it keeps them from hosting the next World Cup, which will surely be known as the Cup of Bad Sexual Puns.

It wasn’t a bad bid, if you’re looking at it from an economic sense, which is naturally my primary focal point. Forcing every nation that finishes in the top three in its group to have to compete in a two legged playoff series after the double round robin will create a revenue windfall. Nations like Polar Islandstates and Audioslavia, who we watched compete for the final of World Cup 67 don’t even have a safe road to the World Cup. Even if Polar Islandstates plays someone like, Kinitaria, in that series, you better believe those games will sell out, leading to money for the nations involved, with presumably the host nations getting a percentage of that revenue for their own benefit. Such a series would have a very good loser, whichever nation it is, and that nation falls into the second chance bracket, so-to-speak. Now that nation is playing more games, and the hosts making more money off them, long before the World Cup actually begins. Certainly, there will be TV and advertising revenue to be had for these games, so while some nations might think its an overly complicated and difficult qualification round for the top nations, it is undoubtedly economic genius.

This takes me to World Cup 67, which was certainly successful for Cassadaigua, its stadiums, and advertisers. In total twelve stadiums from nine different cities hosted World Cup games. For cities that already have a high reputation like Concord Heights or Brattleboro, any kind of success is just a bonus. But what about cities like Canton, which never hosted any kind of international event before? Katherine Cornell, the mayor of Canton responded to our inquiry about the economic benefit, nearly four years later, “We were able to bring people in from nations which had very loyal followings. I know they all do when you reach this level, but with nations like Mizuyuki, Farfadillis, and Northern Sunrise Islands coming to Canton to play soccer, we had nations who hadn’t had a ton of success yet in the World Cup and are all on the upswing as far as their national programs are concerned. For the most part, we had no serious issues with any of the travelers. We also brought in some sponsors who’s advertising dollars would only go to Concord Heights or Brattleboro if they were going to go to Cassadaigua, and never to Canton. Across the board, it was an amazing experience for us.” What has Canton done with the money, you ask? “The tax revenue was used to benefit the city as a whole. We wanted to make sure that everyone, no matter what their interest was, or income level was, would get a benefit from the revenue, so we significantly upgraded a couple of our town parks in the area, as well as all roads through the metro area. It’s a better city now, and hopefully an even better destination for Cassadagans and anyone else.” Even in Winchester, where locales hate when international events come to the city, but accept it for the economic benefit, things were a success. Evelyn Mayers, of the Southside Retirement Home in central Winchester tells us, “We saw some fans from the nations that played here also go to bingo halls, or similar attractions, the day before or after a game. I know here on our Thursday Night Double Jackpot day, we had a record number of participants. Definitely we brought in tourists who were here for those soccer games, and the best part of it is that the grand jackpot was won by local resident at the end of the day.” Mayers goes on, “We’re glad they came and spent money in Winchester and now we can find good uses for it.” The Retirement Home also had a $250,000 jackpot day three weeks after the World Cup, again taking advantage of some of the additional revenue it saw.

Showing that both young and old benefitted, the fact that three universities hosted games: University of Concord Heights, Brattleboro Technical Institute, and Grande Mountain University hosted events in additional to games played on the cities’ primary field, were of great help to those schools. Games were also played at the University of Starksville, but the agreement between them and the city was a little different, with the city of Starksville taking a large portion of the revenue. It’s not the first time that UCH has hosted a major event, but it was for Brat Tech and the embattled (at the time), Grande Mountain University. Meghan Johannes, my peer as a Dean of Economics at Brat Tech told me, “The school made an investment upfront for stadium enhancements, and they proved to pay an enormous dividend. Since school was not in session, we were able to rent out rooms in our residence halls like a hotel, and that also provided another source of revenue. We used this to decrease room and board expenses for the last two years, and this will be the third year of that arrangement. The amount of full scholarships given for incoming freshman, which for the common four-year student has a benefit of $120,000, were also increased by 10%. Professors all received a bonus, as well. This has always been a modern, state-of-the-art campus, so the best use of the money was to give it back to those who have made Brat Tech one of the best schools in Cassadaigua.” It should be noted that Brat Tech did not have to provide any kind of tax revenue to the city of Brattleboro, as local government used the games played directly at Brattleboro Stadium for that purpose.

Even at Concord Heights Stadium, a place rich in history of hosting prestigious sporting events, revenues exceeded expectations. Some believe a benefit to this was the nations that played in the final: Polar Islandstates and Audioslavia. These were not surprise finalists, and the game was a showdown between two soccer giants. Naturally, that drew interest from all over the globe, that was to be expected. But there was something a little different, said Johannes, “Neither finalist had a ton of experience with Cassadaigua. Nor do we with them. These aren’t nations that also do a bunch of other sports, so they may have been to Concord Heights in the past. This was different, and it seemed as though many fans who came to the final also made it a vacation and took in other sites around the city, to truly get a feel of Cassadaigua.”

In every way, World Cup 67 was a financial success. And for Legalese and Free Republics, that’s a fine consolation prize.

[The Inevitable Syndicate]

Lex Crowley sat at his desk, in the highest echelons of The Forum, and smiled to himself. Looking out across the river, he saw what was, in his eyes, the perfect nation. Shoppers, going about their Monday business, a couple sat in the park with their daughter, feeding ducks, and a man peering out from behind a tree, hands placed below his belt. It wasn't long before the man had his comeuppance, however, as two police officers sauntered up behind him and placed a cold hand on the man's back. Control.

This part of the morning routine involved checking his emails, drinking coffee, and watching the multiverse go by until the Circle had it's weekly progress report after lunch. It was around this time on a Monday that Bargavrik sent him this weeks "Unrequired Reading" - a comprehensive list of books, songs, and other works of penmanship that were to be declared unfit for Syndicatian consumption. And, right on cue, the message popped up with a flash.

Crowley scanned through the links, picking anything that looked to be worth reading...

Blog Entry: "Why Lex Crowley is a tyrant and will go down in history as being worse than Viannor Starblayde" by Eleanor Ark Can't you tell from the title?
Television Show: "Hang On A Second: I Don't Know" - Season 17 Episode 4 Part of the show discusses your 'rampant tyrannical oppression of the masses'...
Blog Entry: "7 Things About Lex Crowley That Will Make Your Blood Boil" - Fuzzfeed Blog Why haven't we banned this entire site yet?
Radio Broadcast: FireStoke 94.6 - "Warm Calling" segment, anti-Corvidae rant... Poxy Krytenians...
Video Games: Colonisation IX: Mod: "Corvidae's Syndicate" - Adds Lex Crowley as leader There's some unflattering text...
Television Show: "Mertagne Tonight" Episode 1093 It's about the incident at their independence parade - they blame us!
Song: "Rabble" - Montfort and Sons Some Licentian Parody Band who made a song about our latest football game - I think it's awful...
And 17 more...

Crowley clicked on the song - Bargavrik claimed it was 'awful', but if it didn't mock the nation in any way, why was it banned? It's not as if the Syndicate lost to New Mumford...

"Rabble" - Montfort and Sons

'Cause I know that ninety minutes is a game
But I'll go for the goal no matter what you say...
And the fans'll be laughing, look at us now
The defence to your goal, it comes tumbling down...

And my ears hear the roar of their disheartened fans
And I see that the goalkeeper has lost control of his hands!
But I'm sure that they'll at least score one,
I've not ever played a game where we've not lost the ball...

Because we know your weakness, know your choice,
And when we score goals our fans rejoice...
And I know that my feet are quite fast,
But I could do this quite half-assed...

The Arena that roared loud when we scored five,
I stretched my arms into the sky!
I cried "Rabble! Rabble! Look at me now!"
Then the other team, they were all fumbling round...

You asked "Give them a thrashing, and make it quite foul!"
As you can see, they have put on a scowl,
So come down from the stands, and stand where we've been,
You know that they were weak, we had to win!

Press the buttons, find the table on the box,
I should have known, we were winning from the start...
They'll kick their balls and I will play my bloody part...
To wear, wear them down...
Well I'm gonna wear, tear them down

Because we know your weakness, know your choice,
And when we score goals our fans rejoice...
And I know that my feet are quite fast,
But I could do this quite half-assed...

Crowley laughed, before moving his mouse swiftly to the song title. Copying it, he added it to the document marked "For Removal".

[Star United States]

Star United States

---

The World Cup 68 Qualifies

---

☆★First Victory, Check ★☆

---

Yesterday, Star United States started 'on the road to the World Cup' , and with a victory! Yes, a victory! Over who you might ask?

Group 18 - Match Day One

---

The Inevitable Syndicate 5–1 New Mumford
Astograth 3–1 Arititan
The Royal Barangay 3–2 New South Aqmuland
Carialus 2–3 Star United States

As we know, Star United States has been placed in Group 18, with The Inevitable Syndicate, Astograth, The Royal Barangay, Carialus, New South Aqmuland, Arititan and New Mumford.

Yesterday, the first victory of Star United States during the 68th qualifiers was won. Star United States faced Carialus, as an away game. Who is Carialus? They are a soccer team ranked at 110, with 7.20, 25 ranks higher than Star United States, who is at 135, with 4.65. Besides this, little is known about this team among the people of Star United States.

Carialus 2 - 3 Star United States

Carialus (March 25, 2014) - Star United States travelled to Carialus for our (and their) first match of the World Cup Qualifiers 68. The match started off a little slow with close to no action! The ball kept moving up and down the field with a steady pace, until a mistake happened.

Minute 36: A striker of the Carialus team took the ball from Horas, and went straight to the goal net and kicked. The ball flew through and caught Spark off guard. (Carialus 1 - 0 Star United States)

Minute 37: Without a chance to breathe, another striker of Carialus went towards the goal, kicking the ball as hard as possible, and goal! Spark jumped towards the ball, and the ball slipped right through his fingers. (Carialus 2 - 0 Star United States)

Minute 44: Star United States' Mid-fielder Soarison kicked the ball to Garrison, who kicked the ball towards the goal and scored. (Carialus 2 - 1 Star United States)

Minute 47: Soarison kicked the ball into the goal after a pass from Stafford, making the game a tie. (Carialus 2 - 2 Star United States)

Minute 85: Gonzalez scored a goal, after a pass from Soarison, breaking the tie into the advantage of Star United States. (Carialus 2 - 3 Star United States)

Today's Match

Today Star United States will play against New Mumford on an away game! Best of luck to both teams!

New Mumford - This team is currently unranked, as it enters it's first World Cup, little is known about this team, and this could be a problem and a challenge. Once again, best if luck!

World Cup Qualifiers 68 Matches

3/24: @ Carialus
3/25: @ New Mumford
3/26: v. New South Aqumland
3/27: @ Aritian
3/28: v. The Inevitable Syndicate
3/29: @ Astrograth
3/30: v. The Royal Barangay
4/1: v. Carialus
4/2: v. New Mumford
4/3: @ New South Aqumland
4/4: v. Aritian
4/5: @ The Inevitable Syndicate
4/6: v. Astrograth
4/7: @ The Royal Barangay

Home Games Venues

March 26, 2014
SUS v. New South Aqumland
The Golden Stadium

March 28, 2014
SUS v. The Inevitable Syndicate
Five-Point Stadium

March 30, 2014
SUS v. The Royal Barangay
Stadium of Jackson

April 1, 2014
SUS v. Carialus
The Golden Stadium

April 2, 2014
SUS v. New Mumford
Star Stadium

April 4, 2014
SUS v. Aritian
Five-Point Stadium

April 6, 2014
SUS v. Astrograth
Stadium of Jackson

---

[Jeckland]

DAMP SQUIB

It was supposed to be a glorious occasion. The start of Jeckland's pursuit of qualification. But it didn't work out that way.

After the pomp and ceremony, national anthems etc. Jeckland took to the field against Falcus with something they didn't have at the Baptism of Fire.

Fear.

Their hearts had come out of their mouths and were writhing around on the floor, wondering why they were there and why they were beating so fast.

Beating louder than the screams of the Jeckish at their tellies 60 seconds later.

Because it all went wrong.

Falcus kicked off, and the ball was moved out to the right where Elliot was. Jeckland converged on him like a pack of nervous hyenas, so he switched the ball to Abello, who ran inside and finished.

Shit.

Falcus retained the majority of possesion for the next 15 minutes without troubling Evans further, but slowly Jeckland started to wake up and seize the game. A brisk counter-attack saw Hoonas force a low diving save from Lockwood, and the Falcus keeper was called into action again when King's sidefoot was comfortably saved. Pressure was mounting.

They say one of the worst times to concede is just before the break.

You'll never guess what the bloody Jeckish did.

This time, a simple long ball from Koenigsted picked out Jovanovic, who gladly half volleyed into the top right corner.

The Spuds went in at half time deflated, and Falcus retained control up to 70 minutes. Jovanovic could have had two more, and Hertz almost curled in a long range effort. Only on 85 minutes could Jeckland muster up anything noteworthy, when Nollard's shot was brilliantly saved by Lockwood. Jeckland were galvanized, but too late.


In the other Group 24 matches, things went as expected. Blouman Empire won convinincly, as did Antoletia. Estope only just got past Scorpio, which doesn't bode well seeing as The Spuds travel to the side they defeated in the BoF Ro16 in their next match, with the current table looking like this.

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
1 Blouman Empire           1    1   0   0     5    1   +4     3
2 Antoletia                1    1   0   0     3    1   +2     3
3 Falcus                   1    1   0   0     2    0   +2     3
4 Estope                   1    1   0   0     3    2   +1     3
5 Scorpio                  1    0   0   1     2    3   −1     0
6 UzBenistan               1    0   0   1     1    3   −2     0
7 Jeckland                 1    0   0   1     0    2   −2     0
8 Total n Utter Inanity    1    0   0   1     1    5   −4     0

So Jeckland travel to Scorpio sitting a lowly 7th. We can do better!


COME ON JECKLAND!

[Sargossa]

Lima Station, Islas Ominas.

‘. . . and here’s Quinteros popping up on the left. Farías likes his wide players to switch flanks. He’s up against Ferdinand this time. Oh and that’s a lovely drop of the shoulder! He surges passed the fallback, edge of the box now. Low drive! In to the bottom corner! Fine strike from Saturnín Quinteros. He hit it hard, he hit it low and above all he took it early to catch Williams cold. Agrincourt had parity for just five minutes but Quinteros edges the Corsairs back in front. It’s 2 – 1 and we have twenty two minutes to go. . .’

Thousands of miles away in Soluca the first round of World Cup qualifiers was heating up nicely, sadly SargoSport’s fine radio coverage wasn’t finding an entirely appreciative audience. The listening post’s main monitoring station was deserted but for one analyst who, with his feet up on the main console, snored quietly. It was a tranquil scene. Until a klaxon in the corner of the room erupted with noise. The analyst awoke with a sharp jolt, his arms flailing wildly in an ultimately futile attempt to keep his balance. He extricated himself from his toppled chair and tried to focus on the scene as the sirens still raged and red lights flashed overhead.

“What the fuck is happening?”

Lima Station wasn’t exactly known as an exciting posting. Located on the smallest island of the Islas Ominas chain, its primary function (not that we'd ever admit it) had been to eavesdrop on the likes of the Kaiser Colonies, Nieuwe Sleeswijk and the Kytlerians. But with those governments becoming increasingly isolationist the station’s bored staff were left with silent airwaves and empty airspace to monitor. Standards had inevitably slipped.

“What-do-I-do? What-do-I-do? What-do-I-do?” Private Second Class Oscar De Pedro tried to remember his basic training. He would have checked with his Sergeant, had he not snuck out early for a swift nine at the local golf course. The cause of the commotion was obvious, there was a blip on the big screen exactly where there shouldn’t be a blip on the big screen. What air traffic that did pass through Ominas did so on an East/West or West/East vector. But this blip was approaching from the South. That was bad. And bad meant he had to alert . . . someone.

“The airbase!” He yelled in triumph to no one in particular. He turned off the klaxons and grabbed the phone, keying in the number.

“Ground Control, this is Lima. I . . . errrr . . . we have an unidentified contact approaching from the Southern sector. Ummm, requesting further instruction?”

‘Copy that Lima, we’ll take a look. Is that shouting over there? Do you have a situation? Over.’

“Oh no. No, no. That’s just the radio, the . . . umm . . . football. I think we just scored again. Errr . . . over.”

‘Glad you've got your priorities right. Ground Control out.’

* * * * * * * * * *

Pueblo Airbase, Islas Ominas

“Do we have visual yet?”

“Any second now.”

The alert from Lima Station had seen a Jaguar diverted from its routine patrol to investigate the mysterious blip. It would make contact at any moment.

“And you’re certain it’s a civilian transponder?” Captain Gustavo Salas, the deputy commander of Pueblo Airbase, chewed on a fingernail as he spoke. There's nothing south but thousands of miles of wilderness. And the Kytler Peninsulae, which is essentially the same thing.”

“Yes sir, it’s definitely a Polair code.”

“Polarians? Here? I need visual confirmation.”

Right on cue a new bulb on the central console lit up. The technician flicked a switch and spoke into his headset. A moment later he turned to the captain. “Delta 5 has eyes on target now. He confirms it is a civilian liner with Polair markings.”

“This makes no sense. Signal Delta 5 to hold steady and patch me through to that bloody plane.” He waited a moment before holding a second headset to his ear. “Unidentified craft this is Pueblo, you have entered restricted airspace. Alter your course immediately or you will be forced down. Respond. Over.”

‘Pueblo, this is PLR224 out of Sant’Elia. Right now it’s you or the sea and against my better judgement I think it’s going to have to be you. We’re running on fumes right now so unless you want to explain away a politically awkward crash I suggest you point me at a runaway pretty damn quick. Over.’

Arrogant arse. Salas thought. Although he had to admit, the pilot raised a good point. “Sant’Elia? That’s Ossidiacqua isn’t it? What’s he doing out here.”

“Sir. Regardless of where they’ve come from they are Polarian.” The technician said. “Standing orders are clear.”

“Standing orders on Kűlmsaar, not here.”

“But sir.” The technician tried again. “It could be filled with troops. Or packed with explosives. We need to act.”

“Explosives?” Visions of mushroom clouds frittered across Salas’ mind’s eye. “No. The Polarians are sneaky bastards at the best of times but they wouldn’t resort to that.”

He reached for the headset again. “PLR224 this is Pueblo. You have been granted clearance to land. I imagine you’ve noticed the fighter that’s currently keeping you company out there. He’ll lead you in. Over.”

‘Received and understood. Over. Out.’

“Dammit.” The weight of responsibility felt heavy as he placed the headset back on the panel. The technician just looked at him. “Well? Relay that to Delta 5 and have the runway cleared.” He turned on his heel and walked away. “We’re going to have guests.”

“Sir. I’ve just had another update from Lima, they have two further contacts from the south. Same course.”

Salas stopped in his tracks. “And maybe put base security on high alert too.” If this turned out to be an invasion the Colonel was going to be seriously pissed.

* * * * * * * * * *

Pueblo Airbase, Islas Ominas. 54 minutes later.

Salas surveyed the scene from the main window of the control tower. On the tarmac below a third Polair aircraft was taxiing to an empty stand while Sargossan aircrews and soldiers assisted in the unloading of passengers and baggage from the second. As it turned out this was no Polarian invasion. In fact, going by the dusky hue of many of the passengers, there were very few Polarians in attendance at all. He watched the different emotions of those disembarking, some were in tears while others seemed strangely elated. One even stepped off the plane, dropped to his knees and kissed the ground. Nobody should be that happy to be here. Something had happened down South and Salas was certain that it wasn’t a good something.

“Get me the Colonial Ministry, they’re probably going to want to hear this.”

[Sicoutimont]

Sicoutimont Takes First Match of World Cup Qualifiers

After a shaky start, Marc Denis' club rebounded for a win on Day 1 of World Cup Qualifiers, against Dorado Grande

Pierre Beach -- Fans who braved the cool early-April temperatures, rare for coastal Pierre Beach, were given a treat on matchday 1 of World Cup Qualifying. The visiting team, Dorado Grande, proved a good challenge for Denis' boys, but in the end they were able to show they were superior with a 2-1 victory.

Dorado Grande enters the World Cup Qualifying ranked 356th in the world. This is their first World Cup campaign. At the most recent Baptism of Fire, they were drawn into Group A. They had a rough go of times in this group, losing the first game to The Greater Vakolicci Haven 5-0. Game two for the team was a 1-1 draw, while, as many football fans know, on matchday four, the team were completely mangled by Mastille, losing 10-0. Finally, they lost the last match 4-2. This gave them a 0-1-3 record, with 3 goals for, 20 goals against, and a -17 goal differential.

On the other hand, Sicoutimont enters this campaign looking to re-gain their spot in the World Cup Finals. This is our eighth World Cup campaign. The most recent tournament for this team was the Copa Rushmori. At the tournament, the team reached the Quarterfinals, with a campaign that, before a 3-1 loss to the nation of Irad, saw a 5-0 victory over tournament host Ossidiacqua. The team has reached the World Cup once, at World Cup 66, but lost out in World Cup 67. This may be many players, and manager Marc Denis chance to reach the World Cup.

The teams clashed in the opening match of Sicoutimont's World Cup campaign at Stade Pierre Beach, located on the south coast of Sicoutimont. As we mentioned earlier, the weather was not great for this one, and was quite a cold day for Pierre Beach's usual standards. After the pre-match organizations had been figured out, and the national anthems played, the game began. Both teams seemed to be laid-back with the ball early in the match, not looking for a break but mostly short-passes in the midfield. The first chance of the game came for Gaspard Demaru in the 7th minute. He received a ball from Yves Savard in the backfield, and broke into the offensive zone. He passed the ball for Girard Giroux, who played it back to him closer to the goal. Demaru got off a shot, but it went just over the goal, a disappointing result for the Jan Mayen Islanders player.

The first goal would come soon after that first good chance of the game. In the 19th minute, Dorado Grande were looking to break out of the deadlock. Quick passes broke them into the attacking zone for the first time in the game, and they were quickly past the midfield. Forced out of the zone, they flanked the goal, and a breaking midfielder received a cross directly in front of the net. His header put the ball just past the fingers of Alain Rivcoucher, and just like that, Sicoutimont were down 1-0.

Sicoutimont would even the score, however, by half time. In the 37th minute, Demaru would get his redemption for the earlier miss. His second chance of the game would not be stopped, as he received the pass off a free kick taken by Girard Giroux. The ball found its way to Demaru, and he and Alex Gannot found their way into a great offensive chance. Demaru passed to Gannot, Gannot chipped the ball back, and Demaru was able to get a 1-on-1 with the keeper. Although the keeper made a valiant attempt to stop the attack, a fake to the right was enough to put the ball over the sliding keeper and into the goal. After the 45+2 minutes of play in the first half, the teams headed off deadlocked in a 1-1 draw.

The second half saw Sicoutimont take over the game. Sicoutimont took the lead in the 54th minute with a goal from Louis Desjardins. This was a big goal, not just for the team, who now had a strong keeper and top defence behind them, but also for Desjardins. Although he succeeds at his club, Alianza F.C in San Jose Guayabal, he hasn't been the best internationally. He was chosen to this team in the hopes that that would change, and the big goal in the first match is a good way to tell the manager that he was ready and prepared for this tournament. With the 2-1 lead, Sicoutimont mostly sat back into a defensive style, blocking all attempts to cross the mid line, and long passes to force the ball out. Winning the possession game by far (74%-26%), there was no major threat to the lead late in the game. Sicoutimont finished off and held on to the 2-1 victory in game 1.

After the match, Marc Denis stated: "I feel that this is a great way to start off this campaign, with a win. We had a rough time in the first minutes, but I thought we really found ourselves in the game and played some top football today." He also mentioned the performances of Louis Desjardins, saying "We really needed that goal at that time, and I'm glad it was Louis who came through for us and showed that he was the right choice for that spot," and also praised Gaspard Demaru, mentioning the youthful forward's skilled play. Captain Yves Savard also spoke to the media after the game, saying he was happy with the team's performance.

After the strong win on matchday 1, the team's focus shifts to game 2. This game will be a clash between the number 1 and 2 seeds of this group, Mytannion and Sicoutimont. Many players on the Sicoutian national team play for clubs in the nation, notably Yves Savard and Alex Gannot. Gannot was once the Mytanar Player of the Year. Recently, fans of both teams will remember matchday 3 of World Cup 66's final tournament. Going into the final day, Sicoutimont were 0-0-2 with losses to Valladares and The Inevitable Syndicate. On the other hand, Mytannion were 0-2-0, and with a win over Sicoutimont on the final day would reach the Round of 16. In a game considered to be the high point in Sicoutian football history, the underdog overcame the favourite to win 5-3, giving Sicoutimont their first ever World Cup Finals victory.

Years later, though, it is unlikely this could happen again. Mytannion were the champions of the most recent Copa Rushmori, and are ranked much higher than Sicoutimont. Still, we should expect a good match, the first away fixture of the tournament for Sicoutimont. Mytannion will enter the game off a 2-0 win over Schiavonia.

[New Montreal States]

BEST KIND OF HOMECOMING FOR DE LA WARE

New-look Paladins run up the score on unfortunate newcomers

NEW MONTREAL - William St. John de la Ware can breathe a little easier.

After a spectacular WC 67 flameout that saw the Paladins drop from fifth in the world to 23rd, the 120,000-odd Montrealais crammed into the Paladin Dome could hardly been accused of optimism. de la Ware, meanwhile, having gotten the boot from the Darmeni FA after failing to bring the All Greens anywhere near the 3rd-place finish they'd enjoyed early in his tenure, had to have been wondering if the footballing world had passed him by.

The banners at the Dome really drove the point home, with groups of fans telling the world "Welcome Back Mr. de la Ware, now win already," "Don't fuck this up," and "All I want for my birthday is for the Paladins to not shit the bed."

Someone got their birthday wish.

The Paladins brought back the 2-6-2 for the first time in almost 25 years, and everybody partied like it was World Cup 29. Schottia's vanilla 4-4-2, featuring 11 players named "Marge" regardless of gender, was pressed back on it's heels right from the opening kickoff, with the Paladins clogging up the midfield and bombarding the Schottia back four with a mixture of short passes and longshot heaves.

Schottia's back line held up admirably for the first twenty minutes, smothering the Paladins' forwards and doing a good job of clearing the ball out of danger. Their midfielders, however, were consistently swarmed and isolated whenever they tried to cross the midfield line. The pressure ultimately got to them in the 21st minute, when John Gordon Larchmont-Louvrier launched a near-perfect crossing pass that found Phil Kimberly's head in traffic. Schottia's keeper had no chance of keeping the ball out of net, and Paladins' fans nervous energy abruptly broke; sustained cheering broke out for the first time in the match as the Paladins went up 1-0.

After Schottia's tapoff, Larchmont-Louvrier once again broke coverage on the right wing while Alistair St. George Millet-Wapintake dispossessed his Schottian counterpart and fired a laser up the middle. Larchmont-Louvrier fielded the pass cleanly, sprinted through the center-backs, and volleyed the ball past a helpless Schottian keeper for the second goal in 100 seconds.

This was the point where the eight gentlemen waving the "Don't fuck up" banner took their sign down, engaged in some frantic scribbling, and began holding up a banner reading "We always believed in de la Ware."

Their newfound faith was rewarded with five minutes to go in the first half, when Phillippe Delafrénière stepped in front of a Schottian pass and redirected it to a wide open Georges-Laurent-Arsène Jean-Marie Deslauriers, who tapped it in while the entire Schottia defense, and their keeper, pleaded with the linesmen for a flag that wouldn't come. Six minutes of indecisive toe-stubbing later, and both sides headed to their lockers, while the Paladin Dome's collective inhabitants took a deep breath and reminded themselves that they were still cheering for a pretty good team, all things considered.

The second half was pretty sluggish. de la Ware sat veteran Phillippe Delafrénière in favor of Digby Barnett Jr., who played far back enough to qualify as a second defensive midfielder. Schottia was able to exploit this, making their first concerted attack on goal and forcing Isaac Brown to make his first four saves of the night. The fifth time was the charm, though, and a nameless striker put Schottia on the board with a spectacular bicycle kick to close within two goals. The entire stadium began expecting failure; with 28 minutes to go, there was still plenty of time for the Paladins to shit the bed, contravening the banner that expressed hoped they wouldn't.

They didn't need to worry. Barnett killed any momentum the Schottians might have had with a pair of devastating tackles on their forwards as they did their best to make it a real match. The game quickly devolved into back-and-forth clearances until the 62nd minute, at which point Barnett and Millet-Wapintake discovered some previously lacking chemistry. The Paladins brought it back to their front third, capping off an eight-minute drive with André Potvin popping his international cherry in the 70th minute to send the Paladins up 4-1.

That was pretty much it for competitive play, as Potvin was yanked in favor of Bob Saunders as a third defender. After twenty-odd minutes of running down the clock, NMS walked away with three points, and Schottia walked away with a reminder of what it would take to be competitive at this level.

Full credit for this strong start should go to William St. John de la Ware, the best defender the Paladins have had in modern times. He set up an impressive scheme to contain the Schottia attack; doubly impressive, since he had no knowledge of his opponent's roster, formation, or history. Richard Reilly, official sports historian at oldmanyellsatcloud.nms, stated that Schottia was named after "a borderline Nazi baseball-club owner, scarred for life by a loveless marriage, who let her dogs shit in the outfield," but this could not be verified by the Presse-Journal Devoir before press time.

de la Ware came off to a strong start in a group whose top three seeds are all on downward cycles: the Paladins, Cassadaigua, and the Vaians. de la Ware's schemes will be put to a real test when Cassadaigua makes their first-ever trip to the Paladin Dome on the next matchday.

[Svengarda]

Characters: Eremeni Saari - Our hero. A Svenga goalkeeper. Also a bit not right in the head.
Kimi Rekkonen - Eremeni's girlfriend. Worried for Eremeni
Kom - An animate rubber bath duck
Douglas - An animate purple plush dinosaur

---

Helsirn, 10 years ago

No-one is quite sure of the events of the 21st of March, 2004. Scientists recorded a large solar flash, well, they assumed it was solar as it came from outside our atmosphere. And it defined as large as Svenga naval vessels on exercise recorded a large increase of solar energy at exactly the same time as data was picked up in satellite stations across the mainland. It had no detrimental effect on anything, so scientists disregarded it and life went on as normal. For everyone bar one...

"ERI!" screamed Mrs. Saari from the down the stairs of their three-floor Helsirn town house. A non-committal grunt returned from the top of the house. For the fourth time this week (and it was only Friday), Eremeni Saari had missed his three alarms and was on the brink of missing school. Mrs. Saari resorted to the tried and tested emergency method: she marched out into the garden, gathered a small lump of snow in her hand before marching back upstairs and dumping the snow all over her son's head.

Eremeni let out a terrified yelp, bolting out of bed and frantically sprawling to get the snow out of his hair. He removed most of it onto the floor and the rest onto the walls, and he stared at his mother with a face half furious half bewildered before moping past her and into the bathroom.

The hot water bucketed down thick and fast, and Eremeni spent several minutes just warming up after his rather cold wake-up call. His mind skipped from place to place: school work, football, lunch, back to work then the bruise on his left shin. Snow fell softly outside the window and the sun had started to scrape the horizon. Eremeni reached for the shampoo when suddenly, from nowhere, a bright flash came from outside and Eremeni could see nothing. He promptly reached out and inadvertently turned the tap to ice-cold, where upon he lurched backwards, slipped on the shower floor & let out a high pitch scream.

Mrs. Saari heard her son's fall and shouted out to see if everything was alright.

"Fine...just..err..slipped"

Eremeni got up slowly, careful to avoid another fall. He slowly stepped out of the shower and wrapped himself up in a towel, and was about to leave the bathroom, when suddenly, a small voice caught his attention.

He stopped dead.It wasn't his mum, and the radio was off. He looked up, looked down, before twisting round and searching the rest of the bathroom. Nothing. Just his imagination.

He put his hand on the door handle when he heard it again.

"Yo."

Eremeni searched frantically once again, but still to no avail.

But then, there, on the bathmat. Small, yellow. His rubber bath duck from his childhood.

Looking directly at him.

[Boring Paradise]

Group 8

Farfadillis (#9)
Boring Paradise (#40)
Cosumar (#70)
Sameba (#111)
Catholican Catholica (#153)
Usjekhipstahf (#238)
Alsacie (#316)
The Andromeda Islands (#UR)

MD1: 9-2 Alsacie (H)
MD2: vs Farfadillis (A)
MD3: vs The Andromeda Islands (H)
MD4: vs Cosumar (H)
MD5: vs Sameba (A)
MD6: vs Catholican Catholica (H)
MD7: vs Usjekhipstahf (A)
MID-QUAL
MD8: vs Alsacie (A)
MD9: vs Farfadillis (H)
MD10: vs The Andromeda Islands (A)
MD11: vs Cosumar (A)
MD12: vs Sameba (H)
MD13: vs Catholican Catholica (A)
MD14: vs Usjekhipstahf (H)

Chapter 12
WC 67

Ghostly Story|Elsewhere

Well, this is now our eighth attempt, so far we have qualified into 3 world cups out of 7. But with our pattern so far we are expected to be knocked out at the first stage. We had a bad ending to 67th edition, when we lost all three matches in the group stage and only scored 1 goal, and it wasn't against our easiest opponent, Barunia but the two time champion, Audioslavia. Which is good. When I looked back at the results from qualifying in that world cup, I had started to wonder how we got to the playoffs and then won it against Jeru FC. But you can't just predcit the paradisians. During the World Cup Break, I had collected all of our world cup matches since and including the Baptism of Fire. After playing 144 matches, 58% of it were wins, 11% of it were draws while the remaining 31% were loses. Which is quite decent for my standard. Well then these are our reports for each team.

Farfadillis (#9)
Previous Meetings (BoF/WC/CoH): First Time
Predicted Finish: 1st

Farfadillis are a strong team for us, ranked 9th in the world, which was a surprise when I saw their rank, when I was expecting them to be ranked in the twenties, but it does show how then pattern of not us qualifying for the World Cup this World Cup.

Cosumar (#70)
Previous Meetings (BoF/WC/CoH): World Cup 66 Qualifying, World Cup 67 Qualifying
Predicted Finish: 2nd/3rd
Record (W/D/L): 2/1/1

Well this is quite a coincidence, the paradisians have been drawn with Cosumar for the third time in a row, or was this just a purposeful problem to annoy people. Well in World Cup 66, we had won both of our matches against them, with a 2-0 victory at home then a 2-1 win at Cosumar. Whereas we had done worse in World Cup 67 when we lost 4-3 at Cosumar then we drew 2-2 at home, which then took us to the playoff because if we won then we would have qualified automatically and Apox would have taken the playoff spot.

Sameba (#111)
Previous Meetings (BoF/WC/CoH): First Time
Predicted Finish: 4th/5th

Well well, a new nation huh? We should be able to at least tie them in our away match but then beat them in the home match.

Catholican Catholica (#153)
Previous Meetings (BoF/WC/CoH): First Time
Predicted Finish: 4th/5th

Another nation we haven't faced yet, well this will get annoying.

Usjekhipstahf (#238)
Previous Meetings (BoF/WC/CoH): First Time
Predicted Finish: 6th

The name is just gibberish, so the team should be as well.

Alsacie (#316)
Previous Meetings (BoF/WC/CoH): First Time
Predicted Finish: 7th

They will never beat us, after they got beaten by us, making it the highest scoreline so far Boring Paradise in World Cup history but also the highest scoreline for this World Cup so far. Well that was unexpected.

The Andromeda Islands (#UR)
Previous Meetings (BoF/WC/CoH): First Time
Predicted Finish: 8th

Very New Nation, did not take part in the Baptism of Fire (for some reason), so we should be able to beat them heavily.

[West Angola]

NAMIBE CHRONICLE

WEST ANGOLA RINGS IN WORLD CUP WITH 3-0 WIN OVER PRAXEOLOGICALIA


Christian Davis celebrates his first career goal and third of the match

NAMIBE- The tune-up went about according to plan. Luke Parrish’s revitalized attack put three goals past a beleaguered defense, Gregory Jackson stopped both of the shots that came his way, and everyone in between did their jobs to give West Angola a win in the first match of their qualifying campaign. The match began on an emotional note, with commemorative banners for Luke Parrish and Blake Green joining those of Phillip Garren and Isaac Warren in the northeast corner of the stadium, and a moving ceremony reflecting on Parrish’s accomplishments over his forty-year career brought wild cheers from the home crowd. After a disappointing attempt at qualifying for World Cup 67, and a fourth-place finish in the Cup of Harmony, West Angola needed to win impressively to regain the support of the people, and while there were definitely issues on display last night, the victory was enough to help the team on its way for its next match against Pasarga.

Alan Harrison scored his first goal in the 22nd minute, drawing approving cheers from the fans along with a few joking chants of Luke Parrish’s name. The second goal, however, was far more important, as Christian Davis had stepped off for a few minutes to rest, being replaced by Anna Williams, marking the first time in West Angolan history that two women had been on the pitch for the national team at the same time. In the 38th minute, Mary White took the ball down the right side, drawing the defense with her, and passed to Williams just inside the box. Williams’ goal beat the keeper, marking the first goal by a woman assisted by a woman in West Angolan history. White and Williams embraced near the middle of the pitch, drawing especially loud cheers from the female fans in attendance, and an important West Angolan footballing milestone was reached. The final goal came in the 67th minute from Christian Davis as part of an excellently executed play that utterly bamboozled the Praxeologicalian defense and froze the keeper, with Mary White feinting to shoot, then drawing the defense to the right with a sudden charge. Once the defense was committed, she lobbed a pass over to Harrison on the left side, who appeared to stumble and struggle to control the ball, drawing the defense and keeper back to him. As they closed, however, he passed to Davis, who had crept in unseen and was able to easily tap in his first career goal to put West Angola up 3-nil and effectively end the match.

Having secured three points in their debut, West Angola next travels to Pasarga, a team they have never beaten, as they seek to improve upon their disappointing World Cup 67 campaign and actually score a point against the top seed in the group. Pasarga's forwards performed extremely well in their opening match, putting seven goals past the defense of New Alderaan-Coruscant, and appear to be in top form, along with the rest of the team, as they head into the crucial 1-2 match of the opening leg. This match holds even broader implications for West Angola than for Pasarga, as West Angola lost to Pasarga in the initial match of the previous qualifying run and never truly recovered en route to a fifth-place finish. Phillip Garren underscored the need to perform well against Pasarga in his post-match press conference, saying "One of the biggest challenges for a second seed like us is playing well and scoring points against the top seed. This is our first big challenge of the campaign, and how we play here will set the tone for the remainder of the matches. If we play our best, we can definitely give Pasarga a run for their money, even on the road."

Match Statistics
Goals:
22' 1-0 WA: Harrison 23yd (Davis Assist)
38' 2-0 WA: Williams 17.5yd (White Assist)
67' 3-0 WA: Davis 10yd (Harrison Assist)

Keepers:
Jackson (W. Angola): 3 Saves, 0 Goals
Unknown (Praxeologicalia): 4 Saves, 3 Goals

Attack:
Harrison (W. Angola): 3 Shots, 1 Goal
Davis (W. Angola): 2 Shots, 1 Goal
Williams (W. Angola): 1 Shot, 1 Goal
Unknown (Praxeologicalia): 2 Shots, 0 Goals
Unknown (Praxeologicalia): 1 Shot, 0 Goals

Cards: None

[The greater Vakolicci Haven]

[v-net[/b]
Begin transmission
Origin: HRH Blacksen W. Domination, Crown Prince of Celeria
Addressee: Kericia national football team
Subject: Provision for lodging and conditions in Roma

Greetings;

As Captain of the Greater Vakolicci Haven's national football team, I would like to wish you all a fantastic journey to my very own city of Roma, the greatest city on this side of the eternal voyd of the afterlife. We hope you have an enjoyable time in our glorious city.

As I believe in professionality, I have taken it upon myself to host your players and coaching staff in the Polacie Romagna, on the northern half of the city, my own home, as well as the Schkugen, the home of lord Alesandro Buertova, who has graciously allowed foreign football teams to be lodged in his imperial-era fortress. Of course, all meals will be provided free of charge, should you wish to take advantage of such offerings, and both myself and Lord Buertova have instructed our housekeepers to ensure that slaves are on hand to meet your every need.

Unfortunately at the moment, Roma is not a safe city. Unfortunately, Force Arena was already chosen as a world cup qualifying stadium before hostilities began to occur, and any injury to any players, coaching staff or medical personelle as a direct result of actions of Celerian persons currently inhabiting Roma will of course be compensated.

In a city with such a high risk of terrorist attacks, shootings and rarely, pitched battles, it is advisable for your own personal safety that you provide your own security, although of course I will not hesitate to provide CCA (Celerian Clansmen's Army) personelle to assist in your security protection, should it be needed.

The stadium is fully protected with security patrols, and so terrorist action inside the stadium is not expected. Despite this, we will be playing a short announcement regarding the emmergency procedures in the event of an emmergency exit to your supporters before the kickoff.
Force Arena itself ais a modern stadium with a total capacity of 279,331, and is fully equipped with modern facilities, including luxury seats. Your supporters will note that food and drink inside the stadium is free, and tickets are still available.

Thank you for reading, and enjoy your time in Roma.
Yours faithfully,
Blacksen Domination.

[Mytannion]

Rasmus switched the television off and waited for the inevitable noise of complaint that would come from across the room.

"OI!" There it was, Rasmus smiled and looked across at the man that he had been tasked with sharing a room with for the duration of World Cup qualifying. Ildar Patrelyak, a player almost as controversial as Ismet van Huijgevoort, but probably a whole lot more stupid in his actions and less threatening to his own life - apart from the incident with the fireworks and the bathroom, that could have ended pretty badly, but Rasmus didn't really dare to mention that for fear of a less than sweet reaction.

"Ildar, come on, we have to sleep."

"What did you do that for? I was watching it." Ildar replied petulantly, oblivious to Rasmus' reasoning. Rasmus couldn't take him seriously, he was a teenager stuck in a man's body, wanting to play the clown and wanting to get his own way all the time with no sense of responsibility. Rasmus often wondered why he had been tasked with trying to keep him on the straight and narrow, he often wondered what he had done so wrong to suffer the injustice of having to share a room with him.

"We have to go to sleep Ildar, we've got the toughest game of qualifying tomorrow and we need our rest… Come on now, sleep." Rasmus said, turning over and closing his eyes.

For a moment, he thought it had worked, there was silence from the room and a bit of rustling. Rasmus assumed that Ildar was just settling himself, actually giving in to Rasmus' reasoning. Rasmus should have known better.

The next moment there was a blaring noise as Ildar turned on a game on his tablet. Rasmus opened his eyes and sighed.

"Fuck's sake Ildar!"

[Hutt River]

Carl Winther flopped down onto his armchair. The fire was on and a half-smoked cigar lay in the ashtray on the table next to him from yesterday, next to a box of unused ones. He reached over and opened the box rather clumsily, so the box slid off it's rest and stuck at a 45 degree angle, showing it's contents. Winther grabbed the box and took out a cigar. He noted that there wasn't many left, so he needed to go and buy some more soonish. It wasn't that difficult to do but he couldn't be bothered to do it right now.

Feeling on the bookshelf behind him, Winther had spotted something he didn't recognise. He stopped looking for a lighter and moved his hand over to it. It was a book, quite thick but not as large as some of the others he had on his shelf, with gold words on the dark green cover. He pulled the anglepoise lamp behind him so it was over his shoulder and examined the cover. The title was in German, which he had absolutely no knowledge of despite being born to parents who could fluently speak it, and underneath it was 'English edition'. It was a bit strange how they had forgot to translate the title, Winther thought, maybe it was a mistake. The book certainly wasn't new, and he noticed it was torn in places as he flipped through the pages, as well as dark stains in a few places at the bottom of the page.

It was all a bit odd. Winther had never seen the book before in his life, and it certainly didn't seem the type of thing you'd give as a present to someone. If it was a present, who had given it to him? His first thought was his wife, but she didn't seem like the person who'd buy him a book as a present. He'd ask her later, but didn't expect an affirmative answer. Maybe it was some person who he'd done business with recently, they'd be the only other people to know where he lived.

Winther tried to put that out of his mind and start reading. He switched the TV on to give some background noise, he didn't like a silent room for any length of time. The football was on, Hutt River were playing some other team, Zenic whoever they were. He didn't have much of an interest in football, he only knew which teams were normally good and some of the better players on the national team, but apparently Zenic were supposed to be quite good according to the slither of commentary he heard. Hutt River were 1-0 up after about 20 minutes so that was good at least. With the commentators droning on in the background, he started reading.

"Carl, you coming to bed?"
"Why? It's not that late."
"It's one o'clock."

Winther glanced up at the clock on the wall. His wife was right. The TV was still blaring on in the background:

"Hutt River staved off a comeback from Baptism of Fire winners Zenic to run out 4-2 winners at today. Two goals from Steve Gibson and another from Robert Schwartz put Hutt River three goals..."
"Did you buy me this book?" Winther asked
"No", she looked confused, "why would I do that?"
"I thought that. But who else could it be?"
"I dunno. There was no sender on it. No note, nothing."
"You're sure are you?"
"It wasn't me. Perhaps you have a secret admirer or something."
"Totally sure. It's not our anniversary or anything? I haven't forgotten to give you something?"
"For God's sake I didn't buy it, okay?"
"Alright, alright", Winther yawned. He hadn't realised how tired he was until now. "I best be going to bed. Night love."
"Night."

Before he made space for the book on his shelf, he decided to check the date it was published. 1924. No wonder it looked worn. He put the book down very carefully at the end next to his encyclopedias and headed upstairs. His wife was making some last minute phone calls about her exhibition in the kitchen, she always got so worried over the details. She'd come up in about an hour or so.

[Vettrera]

Beatrice Parker sat in a chair in her hotel room, gazing out the window. Her team had claimed a decisive victory over 5th seeded Sammelreich, but she wasn't happy. She wasn't the coach. She was the supervisor. But it wasn't just her designation as supervisor as supervisor that had her upset. She had been upset with her job for a long while. The tangled-up bureaucracy of the Valoria Sporting Association was ridiculous, it was so obsessed with keeping checks and balances on all the officials, that her position didn't even have any true power. She could be president of PUSH, but couldn't even convince the VSA to make her coach of the World Cup Squad? Please.

These victories weren't her victories. They were empty. And Beatrice's life was filled with nothing but empty victories. As she gazed out the window for a substantial period of time, her mind began to lose focus, and she began to fade out. She bad to recollect. Beatrice went back to her time in the military school. She wanted to become a spy for Vettrera. She wanted to keep the nation safe from secret invaders. She wanted to be in a position of power. That was her dream, that was her ambition. And hell if she was going to let some douchebag get in her way.

Mr. Reynolds was Beatrice's main administrator. The most popular teacher at the school, who had a reputation that nobody could really prove either way. Sure, there were rumors about what he was doing. But nobody could prove anything. And nobody would ever bring anything up. And of course, who would want scandal to befall the academy. And of course who would want to make waves. And no matter what she did, she just couldn't get his approval. At every twist, and at every turn, he would fail her. There was no way that she was going to survive his class, and no way she was going to make it as a spy. He held her fate, and he was crushing her dreams. Beatrice went to his office after school one day, requesting extra help. And he said he'd do it...but she'd need to do something for her.

She said no. She said no. She recalled saying no, and she remembered being slapped. She remembered being abused. She remembered him saying "don't worry it'll be over soon". She knew it was rape. And she knew she had to speak up. But she knew what would happen to her if she spoke. But she didn't care. She was damaged, she was hurt, and she wasn't going to let him affect her future. So she reported it. So she reported it. She testified, she got him fired. And scandal befell the university. Nobody "knew' it was her. "Nobody" knew it was her. Nobody knew it was "her". Actually, yes. The whole school knew it was her. Legally, no. In actuality, yes. The whole school was aware of the situation. Beatrice was the only person indifferent enough to speak up. Everyone knew it was her. But she was victorious. Her grades were thrown out when the main administrator was fired. And he, was thrown out too. But so was her social standing, so were her relationships, so was her peace of mind. An empty victory.

[Albaie]

The Road To The World Cup

Mark sat on the sand bags and looked round him. Mount Gerton was a hell hole now more than ever. A Imperial Colonel of Logistics called McFerkun had just informed him that the Siege of Mount Gerton had just descended into the most brutal and biggest bloodbath on the soils of the Imperium throughout it's entire existence. He had been told 400,000 men had fought for the Imperial Army today and 300,000 remained alive while a further 50,000 had severe injuries. One of the prisoners taken was Lord Gerton's 22 year old son Richard who had been found in his room just sitting there waiting for the Imperial Soldiers. Sir Richard Gerton fell to his knees pleading he was a loyal soldier and the man who found him, Captain William McDonald who had served on Mount Gerton with the 33rd Light Infantry before the war though recognized certain objects around the room that had once belonged to Count McRogers his old commanding officer and clubbed the man round the head with his rifle and dragged him to the feet of Emperor Michael II who had arrived into the battle just before the end of the battle. When Sir Richard woke he claimed there had been 150,000 inside Mount Gerton and from early reports only 3,000 to 5,000 of those had survived.

Mark couldn't believe what had happened. It had just seemed so usual when they surged up over the walls of Mount Gerton and set to slaughter. It had seemed like any ordinary battle as they cut their way through the masses of soldiers standing against them. He looked down at his hands and wondered how he would ever clean them of the masses of blood that coated them. He could hear the screams and gunshots in his head. He saw some burly sergeant from the 17th Imperial Grenadiers walked across pulling a dead body towards the vans being loaded with the dead. His beard was red and his once white uniform was almost like that of the old British army. Mark almost gagged at that sight. He hadn't released what was happening till he pulled his sword out of some young lad no more than 15 but dressed as a soldier. He looked into that boys eyes as he screamed his war cry and saw the pain he was causing. He had tried to control his men after that roaring for them to stop but the battle lust was upon them. He watched as thousands were put to the sword and what for they were only fighting for their lords just like most of the men in his army but their old loyalties and kinship were forgotten on this day in Mount Gerton and every man was each others arch enemy.

Mark was just sitting there with a blank expression when the Emperor walked over. The Emperor was all alone such an unexpected occurrence for the leader of the Imperium especially during a war and possibly a one time occurrence on the site of a battle. Mark barely acknowledged the Emperor as he sat down next to him. " I didn't expect this. " The Emperor said grimly as he looked down at his once white riding gloves.
" Did any of us ? " Mark said his voice making it obvious it meant it rhetorically.
" How is "Lucky" ? " The Emperor asked and Mark guessed he had heard the news.
" The doctor said he'll be fine and he'll be serving again within a few weeks. " Mark answered.
" So what happened some one ran him through wasn't it ? " The Emperor probed but Mark guessed that he already knew all the details.
" Yeah but it missed anything important, " Lucky " always was a bit of a moaner. " Mark joked but he felt none the better for it.
" Aye i'll always remember the time he thought he was shot in Advaria and fell down a sand dune screaming. Completly gave away our flanking movement but luckily we were doing a pincer. " The Emperor replied and Mark sensed he was rambling.
" Sounds great. " Mark said in a sarcastic voice which made the Emperor recoil as he had never had someone talk like this to him before.
" Look Mark I know you don't want to fight anymore so i'm putting your brigade on reserve duties for a month or two. " The Emperor said and Mark nodded.
" Thank you Sir it'll be good. " Mark replied.
" I need you for a job though Mark. There is a World Cup coming up and I want us to be there. " The Emperor said and Mark turned fast.
" Really Sir ? " Mark asked in an excited voice.
" Aye i'm having messengers sent out to the entire team to gather in Dubrack's Town this Saturday. " The Emperor replied before standing and walking a few paces. " I expect you to be at our victory celebrations tomorrow night at Juncton Hall. " The Emperor finished and Mark just nodded as a million different tactics and situations flew through his brain.