IX Winter Olympics RP thread

by **Hazamaeia** » Sun Mar 16, 2014 10:08 am

Itrévna Rwpa issue 86 (Mar 11, 2014) page 7
Itrévna Rwpa issue 89 (Mar 14, 2014) cover page

by **Schiavonia** » Sun Mar 16, 2014 6:54 pm

"It's time for the Sound of the Slopes! I'm Jenny Jones..."

"...and I'm Kevin Smith..."

"...and we're here in Saugeais for our final report on Schiavonia at the Winter Olympics!"

"But... all of our athletes finished four days ago. Where have you been? I've been here in Arse-on watching people sliding about ever since, freezing my arse off... as it were..."

"I've been on business."

"What business have you got around here?"

"I've been on a bit of a mission to Montbenoit with Tony Cueto and Benny Sanderson."

"Doing what?"

"Trying to find out about Schiavonia."

"What do they know about Schiavonia in Saugeais?"

"Well..."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"...it turns out that they know about as much as you do about the other nations that are here."

"You still haven't forgiven me for that opening ceremony, have you?"

"No. Now, onto how the Schiavone skeleton athletes did."

"Which was rubbish."

"It really was. Shall we bother with it?"

"No."

"And our friends in Vilita have pretty much won the whole thing, if that's how it works."

"I think it is."

"Great. Well, that's that. Bye from us!"

"Hang on... I looked at the train timetable the other day. It only takes about three and a half, four hours to get to Montbenoit."

"And..."

"You were gone for four days."

"Have you tried looking after Tony and Benny? It's like trying to look after a couple of teenagers on one of those drinking holidays. And as soon as Tony realised that Benny and Jenny rhymed..."

"Fair point."

"OK. So, that really is it from us now! We'll come back and report on some sports you may know about soon! Until then, goodnight!"

by **Saugeais** » Sun Mar 16, 2014 7:00 pm

Alright, it's the homestretch from here on out. 4 more days to go after tonight.

Day 12 evening RP cutoff.

Results

by **Benjamin Mark** » Mon Mar 17, 2014 6:55 am

Kelly - Hello, I'm Josh Kelly

Zhang - Hello, I'm Jessica Zhang, We're down to the homestretch of the IX Winter Olympics, it is almost over, Angie Cameron is in Arcon with the latest, Angie?

Cameron - The medal blues has been suppressed, an athlete or rather athletes won a medal. The Barrientos Sisters, won a gold medal today. In Alpine Skiing, Men's Giant Slalom, Tony Guerra placed 5th & Christian Elliott placed 94th, Biathlon - Mixed relay final, Megan Kazana, gold medalist Kellyanne McHeidlin, Rickey Orville & Anthony DeSilva placed 27th, close to being dead last. Bobsleigh, Women's Charlene Sung/Ashley Matsui placed 17th & Chelsea Tang-Hudson/Callelyn Hernandez placed 31st. Cross-country skiing - Women's Team sprint classical finals, the magic team, Krystal Barrientos/Dominique Barrientos, the newest gold medalists today. Jessica Veirini got sent home packing by Laura Mathieson of Taeshan, and she herself lost. Hayley Evans placed 6th in speed skating & Jacqueling Cheng-Williams placed 72nd. Today's events are...

Cameron - Reporting live in Arcon, Angie Cameron, BMNS news.

by **Kriegiersien** » Mon Mar 17, 2014 10:11 am

Alpine Skiing - Men's Giant Slalom final
Pingu Penguin made a chilled first run on icy course, but lost it all when it began to snow harder in the second, slowing many of the Top placed from the first run down, finishing Place 12.

Cross-country skiing - Team sprint classical finals

Graham Stark and Matt Wiggins (18:52.6) missed Bronze by 5 tenth of a second, in the final sprint of the Sprintfinal against Flynn Copland/Faltin Sjo (FFR/18:52.1).

Barbara Rhabarbara and Fiona Five (18:15.0) lost Silver in the final sprint to the slave Females of New Clone XXXVIII & XLVIII (TGC/18:14.1) but winning Bronze.

"Finaly all the training paid off", rejoiced Rhabarbara, while Fiona was still a bit angry. "I lost the sprint. And the third is the second loser."

Bobsleigh - Two-Woman run
After a terrible buggy second run, the third heat saw a sudden best time from Bernadette Bug and Maria Magdalena. But the divine was soon gone in the 4th run again and they ended on place 6.

KTV-Interview

Moderator: And now to an interview with Barbara Rhabarbara and Fiona Five, bronze medal winners in Cross Country skiing. Hello.

Barbara: Hi.
Fiona: Hello.

So, what are your feelings after this intense race?

I am happy. I was in the leading group when I passed over to Fiona and she brought the medal home. Best day of my life so far.

I am disappointed. I lost contact to the second Barrientos sister and then these Clone was faster in the sprint. I hoped for more.

But a medal is a good thing. Surely you will be celebrated at home?

I already got many SMS and Mails from my hometown and my Fanclub, the Barbarians. I love you guys. And Hi Mum and Dad.

Yeah, the mayor of my town called and said there will be a ceremony when I return.

What do you work beside your life as sportstars? And will anything change now?

I am not a star. I am working in a bar and will stay there. This was also the place where I met my coach, because of him I started to train and got the Olympia ticket in the end.

I was always in the extended squad for Olympia, training since I was 4. Now I am in the Military.

Did you two work together before the Olympics?

No!

We just did see each other a few times at competitions.

How do you like Arçon?

I like the older city parts. Viewing and take picutes about the buildings and go out, bar-hopping and meet people. That's nice.

Hadn't much time to come around, I am training mostly. The courses are ok.

So, as you may have heard you can play Snowmash on the new Rockstation X and we would like to invite you to play for the Highscores, here in the Studio.

*gives them some gamecontrollers*

We don't have to strip now, if we lose?

Nono, that is another Sportchannel. One moment. You have to hit the Snowman on the screen. Wait, I am loading the map. How does that work? Errr, ah, now. Hell.

How do I do that? Ah, ok. Ah. Missed, missed, ha, I got one.

3182 Points. Now you, Fiona.

*plays the game without much enthusiasm* Like Biathlon, with moving targets. And less blood.

3015 Points. Thank you. You are the first in the High Score. Here, we have flowers and a copy of the game for you. Thank you for gaming and coming.

I have no console.

I will put both into a vase at once.

*to the audience*
If you, dear viewer, don't have a Rockstation X, you can win one, just call the displayed number below and answer the question.

Who is host of the IX Winter Olympics?

a) Kriegiersien
b) Saugeais
c) Barunia

Good luck.

Can you be better then the best athletes of the Olympics? Buy Snowsmash, with the newest state-of-the-art 2D Graphics and try to beat their highscores.

Snowsmash Highscores

1. Barbara Rhabarbara 3182
2. Fiona Five 3015

by **Zwangzug** » Mon Mar 17, 2014 12:29 pm

The Kerlagrad Courier
Dedication brings medals, or conversely

Two athletes from Zwangzug won silver medals in the twelfth day of Winter Olympic competition. Samantha Lundin came in second in the 5000-meter women's speed skating event, with a time of 6:51.35 placing her between Simone Yang and Hannah Lagunes. (Keiko Mimura, one of Zwangzug's better hopes for a medal, was down in thirty-fifth place.) Meanwhile, Hugh Dantreigh took second in men's giant slalom alpine skiing, with a total time of 2:37.55 after two runs placing him between Ryan Higgins and Harve Offermans. (Ioan Karger-May was able to complete the event, finishing 67th overall.)

"This is a surreal experience," Dantreigh summarized, after the initial emotions had worn off. "Going down those slopes, you know, it's just me, trying to pull together everything I've learned and practiced through the years, to finally see it pay off like this. But now that it's over, you know, I find myself thinking more and more of everyone who's helped me get to where I am. To my coaches, my family; this is my accomplishment, but I couldn't have done any of it without you."

"In particular," he went on, "I want to acknowledge both my grandmother in Herthavan, who is an inspiration, and my high school hockey team back in Milase, for teaching us all how to lose and keep it competitive. Like, it would have been nice to reach the final, yeah? But no, I think they actually looked good in losing while they did, rather than getting humiliatingly blown out like those actual runner-ups."

"I hope no one compares me to them," he shuddered and went on.

Dantreigh went on to praise his grandmother's fighting spirit in dealing with health challenges at her advanced age. "Like any competitor, there can be setbacks, and you just have to shrug those off and move on. So it really helps to have a short memory--uh--poor choice of words but you know what I mean," he continued, before returning to the apparent mismatch that was the final of the Milase tournament. "Look, maybe the losers were tired from the long semifinal, that's understandable. I guess the fourth-place team was too. But even they were able to put up some fight, I mean really."

"It's hard being away from home for so long, training," he went on, "and being an athlete--it's a glamorous life, and being able to win an Olympic medal has really vindicated that. But of course I'm so acutely aware that I'm not really contributing much to society, I don't go into this to make a profit or anything--so with the training schedule, it can get stressful. I wasn't able to visit my grandmother, to support her, so that's a sacrifice I've made. But I can tell you one thing, I'm really glad I didn't get home in time to watch the hockey third-place playoff. Or, as importantly, the final. Because seriously, bleep that." Dantreigh explained it would have "totally sucked" to get excited for the championship game, only to find his school not participating, and "been even worse" when the the talent disparity became all too clear.

"So I guess I just want to thank my parents again, even when they're not here with me, they're the ones who've supported me and gotten all this way. I know they're proud and doing whatever it is needs doing, whether it's helping drive my grandmother back from the hospital, or averting their eyes from the hockey debacle. This just feels great."

When asked for comment, Lundin was gloating about how nobody had expected her to edge out Mimura, but she totally did and that's all that matters.

by **Valanora** » Mon Mar 17, 2014 12:56 pm

"Well how about that, all three of our teams that advanced from their groups made it to the gold medal game. Just goes to show you that Vanorians have a really good team mentality, though it is a shame that the women's hockey team wasn't about to make it out of their group and into the Final."

"Well, that would be a bit greedy, though it surely would have been something awful special. Now we have to cross our fingers and hope that the teams all manage to win, or at least one of them does. Can you imagine having them all make it only to all get silver instead of gold."

"Ahh pshh, I'm hoping for a sweep of the events and take our gold tally up to four, it would be sweet vindication for an Olympics that has failed to live up to expectations for our delegation. All those bittersweet good performances that have went by the wayside, tis a bit of a shame you know, but I guess that is sports. Winners and losers separated by inches and a hair's breadth of a second."

"A sweep would most definitely be welcomed after all those close calls for our athletes. One way or another, the delegation is going to come home with at least ten medals, which is not a bad haul at all. Not the outrageous forty that some people were calling for and lower than the hope of twenty, but what can you do. There was so many close calls with our athletes and we did get a bit lucky on the events we took those silvers in. All in all, slightly disappointing but you can not complain to much."

"Well, I suppose you are a bit right on that, though what I wouldn't give to see the teams sweep their gold medal matches. Going to stay up the whole evening to catch all of the action!"

by **Vulshain** » Mon Mar 17, 2014 1:56 pm

Vulshainian Olympic News Coverage: Winter Olympic Games IX

Vulshainian LGBT Snowboarders Score Medals

Bonjour everyone! This is Yermolai Vadimaron, reporting live from Arçon in Saugeais, where this year's Winter Olympics are taking place, for Vulshainian Confederate News and Media Network (VCNMN)'s Winter Olympic Games IX Coverage.

Vulshain has won two medals, both in the Men's Parallel Giant Slalom Snowboarding event. Kathon Demyain won the gold, while fellow Vulshainian snowboarder Aleksei Yulian Vyacheslav scored the bronze. "I was very surprised when we both won," Kathon told VCNMN after he and Aleksei gave each other congratulatory kisses. It is well known that both snowboarders are gay and are planning on getting engaged two years from now. "I know that a lot of people might get upset, but aren't these Games all about bringing people together, regardless of our many differences," Aleksei said in an interview soon after winning bronze.

This has been Yermolai Vadimaron, reporting live from Arçon in the Republic of Saugeais, for Vulshainian Confederate News and Media Network (VCNMN)'s Winter Olympic Games IX Coverage, and wishing our athletes good luck out there and congratulating them on their hard work! Au revoir et à demain!

by **Muriburiland** » Mon Mar 17, 2014 3:39 pm

Íþróttafréttir - Ólympíuleikarnir Sérstakt
Loðmundur Skæringursson - Olympic Village, Arçon

Muriburiland win second silver of games on day 12

The day started off with miserably when the team of Eiður Davidsson and Andreas Svensen didn't make it out of qualifying after finishing 3rd in their heat in the Cross-country skiing - Men's Team sprint. It got even worse when Franziska Anbjørndatter and Gerdil Edildotter only managed 8th in their heat in the Women's Team sprint.

It got much better when the Muriburi Women's Ice Hockey Team put the men to shame yet again by beating Nassau-Hessen 2-1 in the Women's Ice Hockey Semi Final. It was tied 1-1 after regulation time, but Snæfríður Hlöðvarðurdóttir scored a fantastic goal in overtime to win it 2-1. The younger sister of Ævarr and Friðþjófur Hlöðvarðursson of the Men's team, said, "Oh my god! I can't believe what happened. It's still a blur. All I remember is hitting the puck and then seeing everyone around me celebrating." The ladies now face a very tough Gold Medal match against Lymantatia who gave a strong performance in their semi by destroying Frusennia 4-0. But they will be delighted now that they have secured at least a silver.

That was it for the Muriburi representatives in the morning session so now onto the evening. The evening session started off fantastically when Muriburiland got their second silver of the games after finishing 2nd in the Biathlon - Mixed Relay. The team of Torgeir Ærinbjørnsen, Aðalþegn Fjölvarsson, Þórða Úadóttir and Tala Toralddotter finished second to the team from Asteran. "Absolutely delighted" said Þórða Úadóttir, "It's been an awful Olympics so far for the biathletes. We have some great talent in this country and were expecting quite a few medals, yet only Torgeir (Ærinbjørnsen) had really shown what he was capable of with some strong finishes and was indeed the only one who had won a medal (silver in the 12.5km pursuit) before today. I think the pressure and the grandeur of the occasion had gotten to us all a little bit, so yeah, we're delighted after today's performance and I now feel like all the hard work has paid off."

The only other Muriburi representative in the evening session was Frida Udodatter, who will be pleased to see the back of this Olympics after failing to fulfill her potential yet again after finishing way down in 75th in Women's 5 000m Speed Skating. She said she was "distraught" after todays performance. "All the years of backbreaking training and I've thrown it all away in this Olympics. All of my performances have been sub par. But don't worry, this experience has just made more determined to come back even stronger next time. I will go home and have a little rest and then go over my whole training regime with my coaching team and see what went wrong. As I said, I will definitely be back next time."

There is not much happening in the way of our athletes tomorrow with the team of Njædel Oddgardsøn, Geirþjófur Feykirsson, Alexius Andersen and Brynjolvur Lenarson being the only Muriburi athletes who will be competing in the Nordic Combined - Men’s Team Large Hill. Again it has been a story of woe so far for the Muriburi competitors in the Nordic Combined at this Olympics, but they will be looking to rectify that and they have a good chance of doing just that as they are one of the favourites to walk away with a medal in this event. Most eyes are looking beyond that to day 14 and the women's Ice Hockey Final which many believe will break all viewing records, not just for female sports, but all sports on Muriburi TV. Well that's all for today and we look forward to bringing you the review tomorrow. Goodnight from beautiful Arçon.

by **Saugeais** » Mon Mar 17, 2014 7:01 pm

Short day, but full of medals to hand out!

Day 13 RP cutoff.

Results

by **The Archregimancy** » Mon Mar 17, 2014 9:50 pm

A STATEMENT FROM THE MONASTIC OLYMPIC COMMITTEE MEDIA SPOKESMAN

I, Fr. Vasily, am wishing to make a statement:

I am being filled with joy!

Yes, I am being here at final of curling tournament where monks have been doing the crushing of ~~Valanorians~~ ~~Vanalorians~~ ~~Valaorians~~ Heathen Elven worshippers of Elune by score of 8-2.

The only gold medal we are caring to be winning is in hands of monks!

Was fine display of virtue and concentration through act of constant prayer, the throwing of stone and brushing of ice in reaching of target being perfectly suited to life of contemplative prayer.

Whole nation is doing the wild celebrating and taking up of curling - sometimes both at once. I am showing you picture!

In the fairness, Heathen Elves were doing the playing of final in spirit of respecting prayerful practices of Orthodox monks, for which we are thanking them. Fr. Vasily is being in oddly generous mood this evening, so he is observing that Spirit can sometimes be found moving even in the pagans.

And here are athletes walking to podium to receive medals!

And now is time to be hearing glorious Archregimancy national anthem! Is enough to be making grown monk cry.

See, we are even keeping it down to short version of less than 90 minutes!

Say, why is no one sitting in crowd anymore? Did everyone do the leaving?

Is outrage!

by **Renzynistan** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 5:49 am

Maria Tukar wins gold!
Country’s second gold medal at Arcon Games

SALEVIK, RENZYNISTAN 8:33 PM--
Now talk about unexpected.

Maria Tukar has won the gold medal in the Ladies’ singles at Day 13 of the IX Winter Olympics.

Maria, who was teary-eyed after the awarding ceremony said that she thought she was out of medal contention because she got a low score on the short program “By that time, after I finished my program and knew my score, I just said to myself that a top 10 finish was ok” she comments.

In her short program, she danced to Nocturne by Secret Garden. Despite a good performance, the judges seemed not to be pleased and only gave her 66.35 points. She finished 10th in the short program.

Tukar finishes her Free skate during the competition

Her Free skate however, was different. She danced to Pas de Deux from The Nutcracker, and, was according to Johanna Milkova, editor of The Salevik Sports Journal, “extraordinary, graceful, and one of a kind performance”.

“The scores please, for Maria Tukar of Renzynistan” Maria looked at the monitor in front of her and when her score of 146.39 was shown, she just stared blankly at it, still making her mind sink in to what she was seeing. As her scores were announced, the audience thundered with cheers, chanting “Renzynistan”, “Maria” and others. She, together with her coach, Sandra Bluck, hugged together.

She instantly became a crowd favorite. “After the awarding ceremony, many little girls went up to me and took a picture with me. They said that they want to be like me too. I replied that they should have the passion and love for what you’re doing. The little girls seemed to be happy as they left”.

This is Tukar’s second Winter Olympics having competed at City Centre a year before. She is also one of the youngest competitors for Renzynistan. Her compatriot, Qamar Quintavos, who failed to skate on the day of the Short program due to personal circumstances, was 17 years, 3 months and 19 days. Tukar on the other hand is 17 years, 4 months and 13 days.

King Gaston and Prime Minister Stravinsky have extended their congratulations to the skater.

Share this story on:

Comments (1,788)

SamanthaKaye: +455
You go work it girl! Another Renzynistanian to be proud of!

Mira_Balbuena: +173
Finally some good news! Getting tired of some politics nonsense!

Mr_Politics: -973
Is just me or I smell something about this news hmmmm......

LePetite_Wallflower: +573
Just be proud for the girl! She won a GOLD medal for Pete's sake! Some people nowadays are really judgmental

Show more comments

by **Kriegiersien** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 7:44 am

Silver and Bronze, what sounds like a great day, with two medals, but one was secured before already.

Curling - Women's Final
Valanora (VAL) 6–4 Kriegiersien (KGS)

Sadly, the Kriegiersien crew was just good enough to play, but not to win.

Vice Loewenzahn had to be replaced by a broom, that was prepared with her jersey, a balloon and a rug to create the impression she was playing, while Andrea Egyptulan was ventriloquising for her.

Skip Bratwurst took an airbed with her, to rest between her rounds.

Even when Briza Icemop throw the stone in the opposite direction, the team still could have won it in the last end, but failed to inaccuracy.
After surviving the medal ceremony they will now celebrating the medal together in hospital.

In the mens final Valanora was mopped away by the Archregimancy, denying them a double win.

Freestyle skiing - Men's Ski cross

The Ting won Bronze, after a hard day with 5 rounds.

Nordic Combined - Men's team large hill 4 X 5 km finals

Thorwald Ubongo, Djagobert Djudge, Vincent Vaugh and Sven Steampunk failed their last chance to win a medal. Place 6 wasn't bad, but being behind 0:36 after the jumping was too much to come into the reach of a medal. They were only able to surpass the quartett from Polar Islandstates in the loop, when the last runner Jan Hovda took a piss.

The Interview

Moderator: And today with me, The Thing, Bronze medal winner in Ski Cross.

The Ting: Hello. It's The Ting.

I thought that was a misspelling?

No, the Ting was an assembly of the tribes in our region. The old spelling is Ting, which I prefer.

What gave you the idea to that name?

When I was young my father took me with him into the mountains of our ancestors. There I witnessed the old customs of our people. I took the name later to represent the old traditions and our desire here.

And what is your desire?

Good that you ask. Our forests and countrysides are destroyed by Minimax Corp for their pleasure and capitalistic greed. Hotels, roads, slopes. But it is important to preserve the nature we all life in.

But, aren't your teammates, in fact, many of the athletes members of the Family Minimax?

Yes and this is why we have many discussions. Or we had, until they tried to avoid me.

Hm..surely an interesting issue. But to your run. It was a hard competition. You often only qualified barely with your aggressive and, many say, risky style?

I do everything with my whole heart. With power and focus. You have to risk everything and speak out loud to achieve anything.

Were do you train and started your career?

I am skiing in the mountains of Nordberg. But whenever I can I am traveling around the world to try other challenges.

There are spectacular videos in the Internet of you, jumping from the Top of mountains. Isn't that extremely risky and what do you feel when you do that? Fear?

No. Respect. Respect for life and nature. But the thrill and freedom you can experience is unique. Your soul gets one with the world.

Fascinating. So, for the end you may have heard you can play Snowmash on the new Rockstation X and we would like to invite you to play for the Highscores, here in the Studio.

Ok.

*to the audience*
If you, dear viewer, don't have a Rockstation X, you can win one, just call the displayed number below and answer the question.

What is the Nr. 1 Sport of The Archregimancy?

a) Curling
b) Cursing
c) Icehockey (women)

Can you be better then the best athletes of the Olympics? Buy Snowsmash, with the newest state-of-the-art 2D Graphics and try to beat their highscores.

Snowsmash Highscores

1. The Ting 7041
2. Barbara Rhabarbara 3182
3. Fiona Five 3015

by **Zwangzug** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 10:52 am

The Kerlagrad Courier
"I'm not a bleeping good sport"

An extraordinary sequence of events at the Olympic Village, including but not limited to another medal for the Zwangzug delegation, appears to have been capped off with a bilingual tirade from freestyle skier Shailaja Harkar. Harkar, who eventually earned the silver medal after being mistakenly listed as achieving the highest score, declared that "if you think I'm actually a good sport you can go [untranslatable Junba profanity]."

The day began with the qualification events in the women's halfpipe. After some impressive twists, Harkar was awarded 88.92 points on her first run, the seventh-best score of the stage. In contrast, Thulile McEller, another hopeful, crashed early on, finishing with a meager 31.61 points. By her second run, however, she recovered magnificently, soaring to a score of 92.60. "I really did feel like I had it down, my first time," she explained, "it would have been great, I just lost control so early." But despite making good on her promise, the skier from Dancirk would soon be overshadowed.

Harkar had already clinched her spot in the finals by the time her second run came around, and could perhaps have been forgiven for easing up. But her competitive spirit would not be denied; as she would soon say in a slightly different context, "The bleep do you [plural] take me for? Like you have any [slight] idea what it feels like, competing at this level. [Unintelligent skiing spectators]." Instead, she excelled, pulling off a beautiful somersault maneuver for 96.75 points--the highest score of qualification, and one that ensured she'd enter the finals with a target on her back.

In the finals, both McEller and Riitta Horn wiped out early on, but both would recover significantly in their second run. And, of course, only the best of those runs counted. McEller was only able to finish fifteenth of sixteen, ahead of Alison Glibery, who struggled on the final run. (Horn came in sixth.) But the real excitement was in the competition for medals. Several of the top competitors would pull off scintillating first runs, and not quite match the standard the second time around. J. P. Parenteau recorded a score of 92.46, good enough for a podium finish. Hoping to improve on even that, she did almost as well on run two, recording a 90.01. As for Harkar, her 95.90 seemed to be the best first run, and as the second run went on, others failed to match it; Jenny Lauener slumped to an 89.42, while Calanthia Quincy and Justyna Hathaway improved on their first runs, but not enough to match Harkar. The pressure off, she carried out an exuberant if distracted run, recording an underwhelming 82.01 points. Of course, only the first run mattered.

It seemed like Zwangzug's first gold medal of the games--and, with three days remaining, possibly their only. This delegation is larger than the one sent to City Centre, but with so many other NOCs in the works, competition for gold has been scarce. Add to that the fact that Zwangzug didn't return any medalists, and don't really have the sort of world-beating, elite talent that other countries boast...well, let's just say that everyone was ready to feel very proud of the champion from Shozquiz, Vetlass.

And then she essentially gave the medal away.

Okay, not really. What happened, more or less, was that Harkar doubled back to the Forest Cluster on her way to the medal ceremony. Foolish journalists, not realizing that this would probably be their last chance for a family-friendly interview, let her go and retrieve some scoring documents. After the officials looked them over, they realized that Lauener had actually posted a score of 97.94 in the first round--two points ahead of Harkar, and the true gold standard. The flags were quickly swapped, and Harkar remained glaringly straight-laced through the strains of "Thatius. Forever."

Then some extremely unwise person complimented her sportsmanship.

"Do I look like [a] good sport to you?" she snapped from the athlete's village. "I mean, maybe with your [limited] eyesight I do, but let me [inform] you, you're [wrong]. I don't want to be [celebrated] for being a [good sport], I wanted to have won the [esteemed] gold medal. But that's not [going to] happen."

It was pointed out that Harkar could potentially have taken gold after all, simply by keeping silent about the irregularities, prompting her outcry above, followed by--if that was possible--an even more expletive-ridden version of the same message in Junba for both Namirite journalists in attendance. "You have no [clue] what it would feel like, to work for [many] years for this, only to get the [gold] medal and know, every [single] time you see it, it's a [undeserved] lie. It wasn't [at all] me being [nice] to [Lauener], it's as [calculatingly] self-interested as anything I've [ever] done. I couldn't have [lived] with [myself] otherwise, and if you didn't think so, you're [still wrong]."

"And that's not even considering the [plausible] possibility that I'd shut up and someone else noticed, and I'd have to have given the [gold] medal back. What would I look like in that [potential] case, huh?" she went on. "And if you think that I--or for that matter, any [sane] person with a [modicum of musical taste], wants to put up with Zwangzug's [national] anthem, you're [also wrong]. [Giving up the gold] was almost worth it for that alone. [Our Junba translators refused to translate her description of the anthem in any further detail.]"

Harkar ultimately reaffirmed her desire that nobody "make this a [big] thing about me being a [good] sport or anything like that." If Zwangzug fail to win a gold medal in the final three days, it will be the first time since their first Olympics that the delegation has gone home without gold. "I'd love it if one of [us] did," said Harkar, "so you [journalists] don't have to go on about [this story]. However, the odds aren't good. But I dare any of you [talentless hacks] to prove me wrong."

by **Nassau-Hessen** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 4:27 pm

Nassau Hessen Women's Hockey

v. New Wolfopolis (W 3-1)
v. Anditia (W 2-0)
@ Vettrera (L 0-1)
R16 v. Vulshain (W 1-0)
R08 @ Icatus (W 2-1)
R04 @ Muriburiland (L 1-2 OT)
Bronze: @ Frusennia

The women's hockey team has been through quite the run to be an understatement. After two Major upsets and a lost opportunity to clinch a medal, the Eagles are once again face with a do or die situation for bronze (which is strangely the country's favorite medal) or none against another fellow near perfect team.

The Eagles started off with a strong and persistent bang in the group stage, a huge win against New Wolfopolis helped them through the first hurdle. The game was very intense in urgency, maybe not in score, as the Eagles swiftly breezed past the Wolf-pack. The game in Anditia was also a well paced step towards the knockout stage. A two to nothing victory not only gave Nassau Hessen a safe amount of points, but it crucially added to their goal differential. The third game was by far the biggest one for the Red and Purple yet, it was against a spectacular Vettrera. The game ended in being an extremely close loss, especially in the last remaining minute of fate for the Eagles. Nothing, despite multiple dead lock breaking opportunities, ended up happening, and the two teams could only wait. After NW took care of Anditia, it was off to the group stage for the Hessen.

The knockout round commenced with a worthy opponent. Vulshain was much like Vettrera, and equally as dangerous. The game was a fight to the final buzzer, decided only by a single shot in favor of Nassau. The second round posed an even larger challenge as the players intensity was constantly tested over and over again. Icatus posed as a very worthy team of a medal, and almost caught the Eagles in the act of letting their guard down near the end. Yet the Eagles quickly corrected their mistake, and got out of the game still qualified, and with a 3/4 chance of getting Nassau's first medal. Recent history repeated itself once more in the competition, the Eagles went up against Muriburiland, who they beat in Men's Curling in the competition by a score of 10-7. Muriburiland were hungry for repayment and a well earned medal, unfortunately for the Eagles, the ones of the Land of Muriburi got their way in expert fashion through a close overtime. The Eagles will now face an all or nothing bronze medal match against Frusennia, whom was shockingly blown out in the Semifinals and looking for compensation. Nassau is only trying to get their mere first medal, it would be absolutely huge if they achieve it tonight.

by **Qazox** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 6:55 pm

Arçon, Saugeais-

We apologize for the lack of reports lately, there was "technical issues" (we sold our computers for meth), "sunspot increases" (most of us were arrested and we had to wait for bail money) and "we were hacked by Bigtopian nerfherders" (we spent our bail money on hookers).

So here is the medals we won, if any since "that night we made a goat eat Jonn Haskins' balls" (no, that is the real thing that happened):

Mike Lorne, Chuck Finley, Brian Hayes, Ike Finlay won gold in the Men's Ski Jumping Large Hill.

That's it? My god we suck. Can't we use performance enhancing drugs or something? They're on P.E.Ds already? Damn, we really suck.

by **Saugeais** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 7:04 pm

Big day today. Lots of chances for medals as we start the final countdown. Two days left.

Day 14 RP cutoff.

Results

by **Benjamin Mark** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 7:12 pm

Tresmington - Hello, I'm Stephanie Tresmington, Jessica Zhang is off today.

Kelly - I'm Josh Kelly, No one played in Arcon yesterday, no one qualified for the events or we have nobody participating in the events. In any case, Angie Cameron is in Arcon, with an update, Angie?

Cameron - Nothing new to update, no one played today, but I see many athletes practicing for their game ours and other countries', the closing ceremony is coming up, and Jennifer Valenti-Gonzales, decorated medalist will be leading us in the closing ceremony. Several athletes from our country is participating in today's events, which are as follows.

Cameron - Reporting Live in Arcon, Angie Cameron, BMNS News.

by **Kriegiersien** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 8:15 am

Alpine Skiing - Women's Slalom

Kathleen De Vere didn't made it. Like about the half of the competitors, she had big problems with the close put poles and went out.
"That was a difficult course. And I took too much risk."

Critics remarked she would be too fat.
"I don't make a burger diet", she answered angrily, crunching chocolate.

Biathlon - Women's 4 x 6km relay
On place 6 ended the team event for Franka Brotente, Manuela Achter, Rot Kaepchen and Sandra Sprintmonster. With the last shooting it got clear that even the fast Sandra couldn't make up the many faults at the shooting range. With this the Kriegiersien Biathletes go home without medals. That is also a hard slap into the face of the Kriegiersien military who supplied over 80% of the athletes here. The president is not amused.

Short Track Speed Skating - Men's 500 m finals
Vladimir Minimax-Putin brought home Gold. Furious he left Ron Herdt and Ross Kerr behind him in both the Semis and Finals, in spectacular races.

Loudly and proud he belt out the Anthem at the medal ceremony, with naked upper body at freezing temperatures.

Short Track Speed Skating - Men's 5000 m relay
And a second medal,although this time 'only' silver, was brought home from Vladimir Minimax-Putin, together with Qwertzy Qwop, Octo Dad and Frank Werner.

In Speed skating - Team pursuit both women and men qualified for the Final as 8th and last team.

KTV-Interview

Moderator: With great proud I can reveal out todays guest is Gold and Silver medal winner in Short track, Vladimir Minimax-Putin.

Vladimir Minimax-Putin: Hello.

You brought the two medals with you. Can I see them?

Of course.

Shiny. You are the first male Gold medal winner at Olympic Winter Games for Kriegiersien, the first of the Family Minimax winning Gold, the first with two medals. Do you recognized already that you made history?

Yes, it was what I expected from myself and what hard training and effort rewards you for. I am satisfied, even though we could be third in the medal table, had we won Gold in the team event.

So, you have won two medals today. Are you exhausted?

I could go on and on now. Also, the second medal was a team event. I couldn't have done it without my comrades. It showed what many beautiful characters and strong athletes Kriegiersien has.

So, you are content with 'only' silver?

I say we only had bad luck.

You are the son of the director of the Kriegiersien Intelligence Service?

Yes, that is true. My father has an important job to defend and ensure our nations safety and power.

Your spectacular, splendid and expensive marriage to Andrea Minimax some months ago is said to be an arranged marriage.

Thats nonsense, I love my wife, Alex.

Andrea.

That's what I said. And my new family is proud of my success.

For how long do you do Short Track now?

For 2 years. I played many other sports, riding, Judo, Hockey. But in Short Track I qualfied for the Olympics.

What do you think of your future?

Going on with training, winning medals for Kriegiersien and defending my title next time. Otherwise, maybe I am going into politics after that.

I wish you good luck for that. At the end, we would like you to play a game of Snowsmash.

I'll try my best.

*Vladimir fails in the first round with only 361 points, when the console crashes. He gets a second run*

Very good. We see, mistakes can even happen to the best once. Thank you for beeing here.

*passes a copy of the game and pink flowers*

*to the audience*
If you, dear viewer, don't have a Rockstation X, you can win one, just call the displayed number below and answer the question.

What do you need for Skiing?

a) Ski
b) Racket
c) Football

Can you be better then the best athletes of the Olympics? Buy Snowsmash, with the newest state-of-the-art 2D Graphics and try to beat their highscores.

Snowsmash Highscores

1. Vladimir Minimax-Putin 8361
2. The Ting 7041
3. Barbara Rhabarbara 3182
4. Fiona Five 3015

by **Zwangzug** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 9:13 am

The Kerlagrad Courier
Placement takes place

As expectant fans around the world watched in tense excitement, the placement final in the women's 1000 meter short track speed skating concluded at the Olympic games. Lisa Rayburn, having previously come third in semifinal two, took fifth place. Alyssa Meyers and Caleigh Devine, despite recording better semifinal times than Rayburn, came sixth and seventh respectively, maintaining their relative positions from heat 1.

"Truly, this is a great day in the annals of sortition," decreed one commentator. "No longer shall they linger in an incomparable state, but indeed, a ranking has been decisively established once and for all. These skaters have been placed, and the world is better for it."

"Yeah," said Meyers, "um, I came sixth all right."

"Some may have believed that such races were reserved only for the Summer Olympians," thrilled fans went on, "but we bring them good news! Even icebound competitors deserve the opportunity to be comprehensively placed, and it has been wondrously provided. Some might even call this a 'consolation round', but we shrink back from such judgments. Is the nature of the event to console, to calm athletes in times of disappointment? Does it not rather provide a stirring to greater heights and more finely-grained comparisons, urging them to remain motivated?"

"I dunno, I had some nerves when the semifinal started, I wanted to prove that I really belonged there, you know?" said Meyers. "But as soon as I started I was able to calm down and pull it off, that's a pretty good time for me I realize now, but I was disappointed about not advancing, of course. So yeah, maybe knowing that I had another race to complete kept me focused a little longer. But either way, I'd be finished eventually, right?"

"Long after the ice has melted, the concessions consumed, the facilities adapted into other sporting venues or awkwardly failed to be repurposed," gushing onlookers marvelled, "these placements shall endure. It matters not that Rayburn's time might have won silver in the final, it matters not that Meyers posted her best time yet. What matters is that they have been placed!"

"I'm just glad there were no disqualifications this time," Meyers concluded. "Not just in terms of advancing to the final. But it was good that there were actually three of us qualified for that...thing."

"Just two of us out there, bummed out we're not in the finals?" she suggested. "That would have been really awkward."

by **Vulshain** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 12:11 pm

Vulshainian Olympic News Coverage: Winter Olympic Games IX

Can Vulshain Turn Things Around? Doctors Order All Nations' Athletes to Not Push Themselves Too Hard

Bonjour everyone! This is Yermolai Vadimaron, reporting live from Arçon in Saugeais, where this year's Winter Olympics are taking place, for Vulshainian Confederate News and Media Network (VCNMN)'s Winter Olympic Games IX Coverage.

Spectators were shocked when the Reinhilde Sisters lost in the Quarterfinals of the Women's Ski cross Freestyle skiing event. "I couldn't believe it," one Vulshainian spectator told VCNMN in disbelief. "They're our best skiers and they haven't earned a medal yet!?" In the majority of the Olympic Games that Vulshain has competed in, the Reinhilde Sisters have usually scored at least one medal in pretty much at least one event they have participated in, so this year's Winter Olympics was something of a surprise to all of people. There has even been talk of removing them from future Games.

However, Patrick Stanford, Chairman of the Vulshainian Confederate Olympic Committee (VLCOC), put an end to the speculation and rumors spreading about the possible end of the Reinhilde Sisters' athletic career in a press conference. "I wish to inform not only my fellow Vulshainians, but also to the Reinhilde family, that we will not remove the Reinhildes from any sporting event, especially the Olympic Games. No one is perfect, and we cannot expect any athlete to win all the time. They have accomplished much since Vulshain has joined the Olympic community, and Vulshain is proud of all they have done." Stanford did confirm that Vulshain's Olympic training programs will be completely rebuilt from the ground up in order to assist all Vulshainian athletes in achieving their full potential. When asked about medical personnels' concerns, he did acknowledge that there might be a problem. "After speaking with various doctors and sports medicine experts, I have come to the conclusion that our athletes might be pushing themselves too hard and that might be the problem here. While you cannot deny their dedication in making their nation proud, we have to draw the line somewhere, and I believe we have to draw that line now." This decision came as a result from reports in relation to various incidents where numerous Vulshainian athletes were complaining of sore muscles, fatigue, cramps, and we have even one report where Alania Reinhilde almost passed out during the Women's Ski cross Freestyle skiing Quarterfinals! She had to be rushed to the emergency room as soon as she finished her run as medical personnel at the event took notice of her condition as she skied. Doctors have told VCNMN that she will recover quickly but they are advising her and all athletes to not to kill themselves while practicing. "We are to the point where we might have to order all nations in attendance to cut back on their athletes' practices," one doctor who requested to remain anonymous told VCNMN.

With only a couple of days left, can Vulshain's athletes turn things around without injuring themselves in the process? We'll have to wait and see!

This has been Yermolai Vadimaron, reporting live from Arçon in the Republic of Saugeais, for Vulshainian Confederate News and Media Network (VCNMN)'s Winter Olympic Games IX Coverage, and wishing our athletes good luck out there! Au revoir et à demain!

by **Transalpine Republic** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 6:43 pm

An Alpen Children's Tale
By Andrea Lafontaine

Young ones, gather round
Can I tell you a story?
Yes, folks, I promise
T'won't be boring

The slopes of the Alps
Covered with snow
High in the mountains
No enemies can go

The Alps are
The backbone of our nation
The Alps are
Cause for celebration

Matterhorn and Mont Blanc
Each an iconic peak
Both rich in life
None of them bleak

Chamoises, marmots
Mountain goats, too
Kestrels and falcons
Life here, all a big zoo

Geneva and Constance
Across all the lakes
Amidst all this beauty
Life gives and life takes

The mighty Rhine
Flows fast and strong
Its great current
Moves right along

The cantons
Are rich in history
So much to tell
A long story

Formed by the cantons
After the Holy Empire fell
Date of formation
Marked by a bell

Throughout the ages
We maintained our state
It withstood invasions
We kept our nation great

By blood and by tears
Shed by our nation
We kept on going
To keep a good relation

Our people composed
Of German and French
In rich cultural customs
Our nation is drenched

Of winter sports, too
People flock to our slopes
They have lots of fun
And come back with high hopes

That's why our nation is great
People can see
Now my story's done
Thanks for listening to me

by **Benjamin Mark** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 7:04 pm

Zhang - Good Evening, I'm Jessica Zhang

Kelly - Good Evening, I'm Josh Kelly, not so much good things has happened in Arcon over the past few days, I wonder why? Rebecca Rosalind-Golden is in Arcon with the latest, Rebecca?

Rosalind-Golden - As the IX Winter Olympics in Arcon, Saugeais comes to a close, the results are getting dismal. In Alpine Skiing - Women's Slalom finals, Peggy Sue Ziegler placed 25th and silver-medalist Jennifer Valenti-Gonzales did not finish, Ms. Valenti-Gonzales approached me at the Olympic Village and commented that while she is disappointed about her result in today's final, she is cherishing her silver medal she won in Arcon. The biathlon race saw our team place 17th. In the Men's team pursuit Speed Skating, Trevon Williams/Mohammed al-Virata/Alex Serrano placed 22nd and did not qualify in the finals. The women's matches saw much of the same thing and saw Erica Heizel/Jacqueline Cheng-Williams/Sheilene Singerman-Torres placed 19th. Today's events are...

Rosalind-Golden - The closing ceremony is tomorrow, Angie Cameron, Megan Su, & I will cover it, reporting live in Arcon, Rebecca Rosalind-Golden, BMNS news.

by **Saugeais** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 7:06 pm

The penultimate day of competition. Very few chances for medals left. Who'll be victorious today?

Day 15 RP cutoff.

Results

by **Zwangzug** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 9:46 pm

"For the last time these Olympics--thankfully--I'm Cynthia, here with Kathy, as we take you through the women's parallel slalom snowboarding."

"Yes, and here we have Robot 3-Barricade."

"Robot? 3 Barricade?"

"That's her name, Kathy."

"...Her?"

"Well, of course! This is the women's event!"

"Obviously. I was just..."

"Concerned that there might be a robot made out of barricade materials, about to snowboard?"

"No, I--"

"Because even if there was, it's a bit sexist of you to assume that it couldn't enter the women's event."

"That's not what I--"

"Barricade robots, whatever they may be, are certainly not an inherently masculine--"

"That's enough..."

"...And here's Shelby Rivera, of Xander District."

"She isn't necessarily one of the leading contenders, but who knows, maybe there'll be some bandwagon fans supporting her now?"

"Could well be. Let's see...aha, very nicely done! 38.02 for Rivera, that's one of the best times we've seen so far! That could put her in contention at the end of the day."

"At the middle of the day, surely, there's still the finals left..."

"...Bringing us to Justine Nosegrab."

"Indeed. Lucie Nosegrab, also of Northern Sunrise Islands, improved by over eight full seconds on her first run; Justine had a much better first, of course, but she'll be hoping to keep up the improvement likewise."

"Do you think that's a strategy?"

"Trying to improve your time? I think it's about the only strategy. Not for the leaders, necessarily, but--"

"Grabbing one's nose?"

"Of course it's not, do you watch the event or what?"

"I was just curious. Might help you keep warm, you know, moving around the extremities--"

"It appears she is not improving..."

"...This'll bring us to Mini Minimax."

"Don't you start on her family!"

"Wasn't going to. Just wanted to say, she doesn't seem all that small."

"That's allowed. Irrelevant and slightly annoying, but permissible, I only have to put up with you for one more day anyway..."

"...Here comes D'squeeriboozlius Jones VII."

"The seventh?"

"Yes, if the name stays in the family that long you might as well keep it, right?"

"Uh..."

"Do you have something against the name D'squeeriboozlius? A little provincial of you."

"Hardly."

"Then out with it!"

"Er, I'm not used to names passing down the women's side of the family. For Seven generations at a time. Sometimes someone along the way will change their last name, is all."

"There was a Kira McDonald II, you didn't raise a fuss about her!"

"Ah, in that case I thought it was...um...actually part of her name. Since she wasn't a junior."

"If you say so. Jones improves her time by half a second, to 38.49. Wonder if she'll have a kid someday..."

"...And here comes Winona Ryder."

"Where's she from?"

"Liventia."

"Really?"

"Of course."

"I don't know..."

"C'mon. She's the defending champion! Silver in Ashton, too, if there's one competitor you've heard of here it's her."

"If you say so..."

"...and a time of 38.07 for Antonie Svechova ensures she'll be the first seed in the bracket, taking on Suzette Corbin."

"Join us again to catch all the action!"

"What do you mean again? Join us right now."

"Don't we get a break?"

"No."

"Make the studio say something!"

"It's not our job, and do you really trust the teleprompter guys?"

"At this point, I need a break. Make something up."

"Uh, yes. Er, well, we'll have all the news from around the Olympic village soon...almost time for the closing ceremonies...the attempt to get Shailaja Harkar to carry Zwangzug's flag is proceeding about as well as you'd expect..."

IX Winter Olympics RP thread

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