Garundia Kickball Championships

[Garundia]

Dear Outsiders,

We have just found out about you. As we have believed ourselves to be alone for so long, we would like to invite you all to Garundia to play kickball. We have heard that kickball is the most popular sport in something called the multiverse, which I am told you are a part of. So we would like you to come to Garundia and play with us, to compare oursevles to others around the world.

Kika Skarou
Coach of Garundia Kickball Team

Mokri Kalimbaa
Leader of Garundia

OOC: Kickball (as played in Garundia, and not to be confused with the RL game of the same name) is not football, but the people of Garundia seem to think it is. It is similar, but it has slightly different rules. Like so:

• There are no fouls whatsoever in kickball. As a result, a lot of violence can happen in games. Because of this, it can help to have a big squad.
• Similarly, there are no offsides.
• There are no goalkeepers. As a result, games are 10-a-side.
• The ball can only be touched by part of the leg. If the ball hits another part of someone's body, and the judge declares that the person could have avoided it, then possession is automatically ceded to the other team.
• There are no official edges to the pitch. Play can continue at the discretion of the judge, who can order the ball to be kicked back towards the goals at any time. This does lead to games taking to the stands on occasion.
• Despite the extended playing area, goals can still only be scored through one side, and are netted.
• The judge is positioned on the half way line in a raised seat, similar to a tennis umpire.
• Players wear nothing but a protective leather jockstrap and body paint.
• Due to the extremely sexist nature of Garundia's culture, female players are not welcomed by the locals. However, there is nothing in the invitation saying that they can't enter...

Scorination: Will be done on xkorinate using the Water Polo setting, to reflect the higher scores of a game without goalkeepers.

The number of teams will be limited to a maximum of 16, though the tournament will go ahead, even if only one other team sign up.

I think that's everything. Any other questions, just ask.

(Fish feast - 08-09/02)
Game Day 1 (10/02): Garundia v The Sarian, San Jose Guayabal v Super-Llamaland, Saintland v Cassadaigua;
Game Day 2 (12/02): Super-Llamaland v Cassadaigua, Saintland v The Sarian, Garundia v San Jose Guayabal;
Game Day 3 (14/02): San Jose Guayabal v Saintland, Garundia v Super-Llamaland, Cassadaigua v The Sarian;
Game Day 4 (16/02): Garundia v Saintland, Cassadaigua v San Jose Guayabal, The Sarian v Super-Llamaland;
Game Day 5 (18/02): The Sarian v San Jose Guayabal , Super-Llamaland v Saintland, Garundia v Cassadaigua;
Game Day 6 (20/02): THE FINAL!!!
(Where possible, scorination will happen around 11:00am UTC. If scorination is late, then this will be continued throughout the competition, to guarantee that there is at least 48 hours between matchdays.)

[The Sarian]

Sound fun, The Sarian signs up.

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Are you a puppet of another nation or is this your first time in NS Sports? I might be interested but I would want a host who isn't brand new to this.

[Saintland]

Actually, it might be interesting to send the backups from the Saintland National Soccer Team, since this should be done before the next World Cup.

[Saugeais]

Are you a puppet of another nation or is this your first time in NS Sports? I might be interested but I would want a host who isn't brand new to this.

It's a puppet of Schiavonia.

[Schiavonia]

Are you a puppet of another nation or is this your first time in NS Sports? I might be interested but I would want a host who isn't brand new to this.

It's a puppet of Schiavonia.

Yes, this. Although it might be a bit presumptuous of me to expect everyone to know who I am.

I hosted WC20 & 24 with Druida and WC32 with Schiavonia. I did a comeback for a few cups in 2010, but have barely been heard of since. Then I came back onto IRC a week or two ago, and have been RPing the return of my main nation and the introduction of another (the host of this tournament, Garundia.)

[Super-Llamaland]

In.

[Schiavonia]

Dear nations of NationStates,

May I categorically recommend that you do not sign up for this tournament! The game of Kickball played in Garundia is a most violent and uncultured game. If you are a football team who has mistakenly entered thinking that this is a football tournament, may we warn you that it is not! It is a twisted and primitive perversion of the sport that is known and loved across the multiverse.

May I emphasise again, this is categorically not an endorsement of Garundia. If you do go there, you will be putting your own safety at risk.

Yours in friendship.
Benny Sanderson
Deputy Leader, Schiavonia

While Schiavonia disapprove of their near neighbours, they have heard that there are just three days left of signups. After that, the tournament will be under way, no matter how many entrants we have.

[San Jose Guayabal]

In.

[Cassadaigua]

[*] Due to the extremely sexist nature of Garundia's culture, female players are not welcomed by the locals. However, there is nothing in the invitation saying that they can't enter...[/list]

Perfect.
Cassadaigua, in.

[Garundia]

"People of Garundia!"

The leader's broadcast went all around the island.

"We have sent out a message to the sporting world, and five of them will be sending a team of their finest flat-chests to Garundia. The kickball teams of the famous nations of The Sarian, Saintland, Super-Llamaland, San Jose Guayabal and Cassadaigua will be coming to our island, to The Pit, to play the all-conquering Garundia kickball team.

"The teams will be arriving in the coming days, landing on the new beachside Valae Airstrip, and will all play each other once. At the end of the competition, the two best teams will play each other to claim the title of the Garundia Kickball champions!

"The teams will be invited to a great feast two nights prior to the start of the tournament, where our national dish of fried fish, rice and vegetables will be served to teams and supporters alike. All are welcome at the feast!

"The games will then begin, one after another, every other day until all of the games are played. The schedules have been printed out, and are available as follows.

(Fish feast - 08-09/02)
Game Day 1 (10/02): Garundia v The Sarian, San Jose Guayabal v Super-Llamaland, Saintland v Cassadaigua;
Game Day 2 (12/02): Super-Llamaland v Cassadaigua, Saintland v The Sarian, Garundia v San Jose Guayabal;
Game Day 3 (14/02): San Jose Guayabal v Saintland, Garundia v Super-Llamaland, Cassadaigua v The Sarian;
Game Day 4 (16/02): Garundia v Saintland, Cassadaigua v San Jose Guayabal, The Sarian v Super-Llamaland;
Game Day 5 (18/02): The Sarian v San Jose Guayabal , Super-Llamaland v Saintland, Garundia v Cassadaigua;
Game Day 6 (20/02): THE FINAL!!!
(Where possible, scorination will happen around 11:00am UTC)

"So, we look forward to welcoming you to our homeland! Oh, wait... this is your homeland. They're not here yet..."

[Cassadaigua]

TEAM CASSADAIGUA- GARUNDIA KICKBALL CHAMPIONSHIPS

Note: The protective leather jockstrap worn will be a bright pink.

Starters:
(It is not clear yet who will be in what kind of position, more then likely they will just be randomly running around)
Player (age)
Jason Andrews (20)
Dave Bartholomew (21)
Marcus Gomez (18)
Patrick Southgate (23)
John McDouglas (22)
Carl Harris (25)
James Lannigan (21)
Jeff Francis (21)
Ricky Ellis (23)
Wally Ruiz (19)

Reserves:
Thomas Truman (20)
Bruce Nieves (18)
Freddie Drury (18)
Michael Jeffries (19)
Matthew Crosson (22)
Mitch Renny (24)
Lenny Kemmer (21)
Kyle Pfohl (19)
Gordon Wueffrel (19)
Zachary Hartigan (18)

Style Mod: (if used) +3

RP Permissions: Have fun, just no killing.

Wait, you were expecting a team of women? Sorry!

[Cassadaigua]

Meaghan Bateman, the President of CASE (Cassadagan Association for Soccer Excellence) has a young man walk into her office....

“Mrs. Bateman, mam, you know me and my buddies who play men’s soccer would love for an opportunity to play in an international tournament, especially after we won the Swamp Soccer tournament last time.”

“Well as you know there doesn’t seem to be swamp soccer this year.”

“Regular soccer is fine. As a matter of fact, it would be cool if we could just play in a regular soccer tournament and not on a muddy bog.”

“The appeal of sending men to Swamp Soccer was exactly that, to watch you guys get all dirty. No one really cared if they won or not.”

“Could we just have a regular tournament. Please?”

“No. Sorry, as you know soccer tournaments are for women. But there is something.”

“What?”

“I’m not sure if you are up to this, though.”

“I’m up to anything! We all are!”

“Do you like eating fish?”

“What kind of man doesn’t like feasting on nice succulent fish?”

“I mean, actual fish.”

“Oh. Well sure, but what does that have to do with soccer?”

“Nothing, it’s just that this tournament starts with a fish feast, that’s all. So you have to show that Cassadagan men enjoy eating fish, too.”

“Uh yeah. Anyway tell me about the tournament.”

“It’s kinda like soccer. There’s a goal.”

“Good.”

“You use your feet only.”

“Sounds good.”

“And there are no goalies.”

“Really? Well that’s good I guess. Let’s do it!”

“You sure?”

“Yes, sign us up! Here are the names!”

“Good. Have a good time!”

“Thanks!”

“Oh by the way, there are no fouls, so it can be a violent game; often very violent. And all you can wear is a protective leather jockstrap, and we will be supplying one which is this color (a bright pink) for all of you. What’s the matter, you stopped smiling?”

“Uhh”

“Don’t worry, ratings will be great in Cassadaigua. Women from all over the country will love watching good looking men run around in just a jockstrap in this tournament while getting real physical. It will provide a nice source of income for CASE. You all have fun, put on a good show, and remember we don’t care if you actually win games, just make sure you are always looking sexy! By the way, no one over 25. We only wanna watch sexy younger men, nothing older.”

[Super-Llamaland]

NOTE: Please click on all the spoilers to get best results.

"Carl, we need you to interview somebody to be player-manager."

"All right."

"Here is an envelope. It contains the list of responsibilities, all the travel info, a list of prospective players, and their job description. You'll give them the info and find us the best candidate."

"Right."

"Also, I decided I want to interview. That will make five options. If you don't pick me, I'll fire you. Pick whoever you want. I'll give you full rein."

"Ho-kay then."

NOTE: THE FOLLOWING ARE TRANSCRIPTS OF THE INTERVIEW

Case File #1: Matthew Murton, 32, FC Denizen defender

"Hello, Mister Murton."
"Hi."
"My name is Carl Smith, and I want to know why you'd make a good player-manager for the Kickball team."
"I'm very qualified because-"
"The tone of voice you used was enough to convince me. Next, I'll read to you the rules of kickball. Which one is it? (rustling paper) Ah. Let's see. You have to be very physical, there are no fouls."
"Check."
"There are no goalies."
"I can manage that."
"There are no offsides."
"I can work on the strategy."
"You sound very believable."
"Yeah-cough cough (scratches back of neck) uh huh. I am a mastermind of strategy."
"Do you like fish?"
"Why?"
"They are treating us to a fish feast. Who knows how the natives will react if you refuse the fish."
"Uh...I'll eat fish. Sure."
"Okay. And...players wear nothing but a jockstrap and body paint."
"Good-bye." (door slam)
"Also, no women!"

Case File #2: Chris Smith, 33, FC Vargas reserve

"Hi Mr. Smith. My name is Carl. I will be your interviewer today. Tell us, what makes you so qualified."
"I have a degree from Polly's School of Puppetry."
"And how does that qualify you?"
"I also have a gun." (clicking noise)
"Uh...sure. Okay, Chris, do you like fish?"
"Yes. Fish are my only friends."
"I thought you were married."
"I'm married to a fish."
"stupid Super-Llamaland laws. Any-hoo, would you be willing to wear a jockstrap and body paint?"
"In fact, I am wearing a jockstrap and body paint right now!"
"Only a jockstrap and body paint."
"I painted myself to look like I was wearing clothes. Here, touch me."
"Uh...no thanks."
"Anyways, they're treating you to a fish feast, and-"
"Eating fish? Don't be absurd."
"I think you should go, Mr. Smith. Thank you."
(bonking noise)
"The door is that way, Mr. Smith."

Case File #3: Jim Levine, 36, fan

"Hello, Mr. Levine."
"WHOA! You should be calling me EMPEROR!"
"Erm...respectfully, Mr. Levine, you aren't-"
"I'm commissioner of my fantasy league! BOW TO ME!"
"No thank you."
"WHAT?"
"Here, if you jump out that window, I'll give you the job."

Case File #4: James Firkin, 61, CEO of Firkin Inc.

"I have to admit, Mr. Firkin, that you don't look very in-shape."
"Nonsense! My company sells fitness products."
"We'll see about that. Bring the Stepmaster, Harold!"
"Nooooo! My nemesis! I must-gasp-run-pant wheeze gasp-to the (groan) door!"
(large thunking noise)

Case File #5: My Unnamed Boss, 43, Boss of Carl Smith

"Good to see you, underling!"
"Hello."
"I would like to harvest your kidneys!"
"Erm..."
"And then kill you!"
"Uh...you're schizophrenic, right? That's what this case file says."
(banging noises)
"You leave me no choice, tremble at my light-saber!"
(slashing noises)
"That was a bad idea. CLEANUP IN AISLE THREE!"

(flashes to a Coffee Shop. Todd has read all of the case files)

"So that's why you're player-manager of a kickball team?"

"Yeah. What color jock strap should I get?"

[Saintland]

Saintland National Soccer B Team

Formation: 4-4-2
Style Modifier: +1.5
Captain: Andreas Inventius
Colors: Red and White
Demonym: Sanctii

Roster

Starting Lineup

DEF: #13 Petrus Jucundius
DEF: #4 Matthaeus Belaeus
DEF: #19 Paulus Plinius
DEF: #14 Marcus Jucundius
MID: #8 Petrus Mamilius
MID: #43 Petrus Barrius
MID: #34 Isaacus Barrius
MID: #15 Andreas Inventius
ST: #17 Paulus Gabinius
ST: #18 Ioannes Gratus

Backups

DEF: #29 Iulianus Agrius
DEF: #31 Ioannes Fufius
MID: #27 Sebastianus Suedius
MID: #91 Lucas Gavius
ST: #66 Alessandro Drusus
ST: #16 Petrus Fadius

Kits (made with Smart Shirt Designer 2)

Home



Away



RP Permissions

I give my opponent permission to:
Choose my goalscorers: Y
Godmod scoring events: Y
Give injuries to my players: N
Godmod injuries to my players: N
Godmod other events: Y

[Saintland]

Saintland to enter Garundia "Kickball" Championships

(SP) Despite the recent assassination of King Paulus XV at the World Bowl Championship Game, his son King Petrus XX has authorized a team to represent the Kingdom of Saintland at an event in Garundia, a nation that recently emerged onto the international sporting scene. Garundia has their own version of soccer, which does not use goalkeepers, so King Petrus XX decided to send the backups from the National Soccer Team and the scrubs from the National Beach Soccer Team to Garundia to compete in this tournament. "With the National Ice Hockey Team performing so badly at the current World Cup of Hockey, even after I dedicated it to the memory of my father, I have decided to send a soccer team to Garundia to compete in their unique variant of that sport. I am hopeful that God will bring them many victories, in honor of my father." - King Petrus XX

In their infinite wisdom, Garundia scheduled our National Team to face Cassadaigua in the opening game of this tournament. It seems that Cassadaigua has the desire to get back into international soccer competition after the debacle that was the abortive World Cup 67, a debacle largely caused by the Equestrian States (OOC: Remember that the press in Saintland pretended that the Cup of Harmony was the World Cup and some newbie cup was the Cup of Harmony. Additionally, King Petrus XX really hates the Equestrian States, due to what they did to him during the Mud Bowl at World Bowl XX.). Due to the decision by Legalese and the Free Republics to restore some prestige to the World Cup, 151 nations have already signed up for the 68th edition and it looks like a return to the traditional 32-team format is a strong possibility this time around. There will even be a Baptism of Fire, an event whose very future existence had come into doubt after the World Cup 67 debacle. The re-organized World Cup Committee even seems to be less corrupt than it was in the past, even though the corrupt President from the Polar Islandstates, a nation that will likely never win a World Cup, remains the President of the WCC. The World Cup may very well make a full recovery from the damage done to it by the racehorses, something which seemed an impossibility just weeks ago.

In the remainder of the tournament, the National Team will face the notorious Sarian, followed by an easy win against San Jose Guayabal. Then, we'll take on the hosts and finish with Super-Llamaland, a nation obsessed with baseball. Unless God has some surprises in store for us, the opener against Cassadaigua will be a preview of the final. Most of the Kingdom will be hoping for a Saintland-Cassadaigua final and for the outcome to go differently from how it went when the Sanctii faced the men from Cassadaigua at last year's Swamp Soccer World Cup. God willing, it will be so.

[Garundia]

The fish feast was an opportunity for the members of all of the teams who have come to Garundia to meet each other and learn about the country they had come to visit. Whether the things they learned were all that pleasant are another matter.

The initial signs were good. Before the feast, the release of the Garundia squad. The maroon-skins released this piece of paper:

DEFENDERS
Sala Ramao
Fena Polatae
Olla Morue
Poto Kaiae
Koli Oueranao
Lika Porou
Fima Baloo
Pora Manutou
Bina Kalimbaa
Palou Alinai
Kona Seloi

MIDFIELDERS
Lika Omorai
Porta Milao
Daro Kinalaa
Kila Milao
Porta Demarao
Brita Tafarae
Bora Timao
Siku Amanai
Fima Ramao

FORWARDS
Maksi Meluo
Rani Ramua
Pola Koruo
Karna Polae

Typical formtions - 5-4-1 or 4-4-2

The individuals involved all wore name tags at the feast, pinned to their ceremonial jock straps. The sight of these almost-naked maroon-skinned men were quite formidable. And frightening. That all of the other islanders were dressed in what was essentially leather underwear just added to the slightly awkward situation.

But still...

The locals told the visitors all about their nation. How they thought that they were the only people in the universe until not long ago. In fact, they weren't really sure that there was anything beyond the seas around the island. How they have magical warm waters on the island that are not like the sea. How great men are and how great it was to see everyone here.

The last part was not entirely true. Though the meal and welcome ceremony were sincere and seemingly welcoming, the nature of Garundis is a fickle one. But, on this occasion, they hoped to dish it out on the kickball pitch, at The Pit.

As long as they won, they would be happy. But if they lost... well, they weren't going to lose!

(OOC: This isn't RP-speak for "I'm going to fix the scorinator", if anyone is thinking that. Just that they will not react well to losing.)

[Garundia]

Kickball Matchday 1

Garundia 11–6 The Sarian
San Jose Guayabal 6–8 Super-Llamaland
Saintland 8–8 Cassadaigua

Garundia Kickball  Pl  W  D  L  F  A  GD Pts
Garundia            1  1  0  0 11  6  +5   3
Super-Llamaland     1  1  0  0  8  6  +2   3
Cassadaigua         1  0  1  0  8  8   0   1
Saintland           1  0  1  0  8  8   0   1
San Jose Guayabal   1  0  0  1  6  8  -2   0
The Sarian          1  0  0  1  6 11  -5   0

[Super-Llamaland]

Kickball Matchday 1

Garundia 11–6 The Sarian
San Jose Guayabal 6–8 Super-Llamaland
Saintland 8–8 Cassadaigua

Garundia Kickball  Pl  W  D  L  F  A  GD Pts
Garundia            1  1  0  0 11  6  +5   3
Super-Llamaland     1  1  0  0  8  6  +2   3
Cassadaigua         1  0  1  0  8  8   0   1
Saintland           1  0  1  0  8  8   0   1
San Jose Guayabal   1  0  0  1  6  8  -2   0
The Sarian          1  0  0  1  6 11  -5   0

San Jose Guayabal 6 - Super Llamaland 8

Goals:
SJG: IDK 17', IDK 63', IDK 67', IDK 80', IDK 85', IDK 88'
SLL: Washburn 13', Washburn 20', Smith 26', Johnson 32', Benjamin 40', Carlson 44', Michaels 45+1', Aaron 86'

VICTORIOUS!

Wearing emerald green jockstraps, Llamas dominate in first half, Washburn key

In a sunny day here in Garunia, a very, hm, quirky nation, the Super-Llamaland side has defeated San Jose Guayabal by a score of eight to six. That's right, eight to six. The team dominated their way to a 7-1 first half lead, and San Jose Guayabal's late comeback was not enough.

Mike Washburn, 35, was a key player in the match, scoring twice in the first half. The timid Washburn did not want to wear the Llama emerald green ceremonial jockstraps, but he was given a stern look by the 7'2"/250 ref and decided it would be a good idea. He scored twice in the first half, playing surprisingly clean as San Jose Guayabal's blue-jockstrapped players pushed and shoved.

The fighting James Purte, 32, was key on defense, bullying the commies out of the ball with pushes, punches, kicks, and biting. That's right, Purte bit six-time scorer and team star IDK in the leg to stop him from shooting early on.

The Llamas were led into things by Washburn's two goals after the first sixth of the game passed awkwardly and the natives began throwing fish at players. Carl Smith and Jake Johnson got into things after Washburn, each scoring a goal, while San Jose Guayabal's infamous IDK also put up a goal. Jon Benjamin and Tyler Carlson chipped in goals from midfield later in the first half, while Griffin Michaels lobbed a brilliant shot over the defense's heads and into the goal in stoppage to make it 7-1.

IDK led a furious comeback in the second half, but Brett Aaron's clutch goal after a key drive sealed the deal. The Llamas are 1-0 in the new sport, and we're probably "Better than Havl".

[Garundia]

Kickball Matchday 2

Super-Llamaland 6–7 Cassadaigua
Saintland 11–0 The Sarian
Garundia 11–7 San Jose Guayabal

Garundia Kickball  Pl  W  D  L  F  A  GD Pts
Garundia            2  2  0  0 22 13  +9   6
Saintland           2  1  1  0 19  8 +11   4
Cassadaigua         2  1  1  0 15 14  +1   4
Super-Llamaland     2  1  0  1 14 13  +1   3
San Jose Guayabal   2  0  0  2 13 19  -6   0
The Sarian          2  0  0  2  6 22 -16   0

[Garundia]

No posts, so...

Kickball Matchday 3

San Jose Guayabal 8–17 Saintland
Garundia 6–8 Super-Llamaland
Cassadaigua 15–8 The Sarian

Garundia Kickball  Pl  W  D  L  F  A  GD Pts
Saintland           3  2  1  0 36 16 +20   7  H2H: 8-8
Cassadaigua         3  2  1  0 30 22  +8   7
Super-Llamaland     3  2  0  1 22 19  +3   6  H2H: 8-6
Garundia            3  2  0  1 28 21  +7   6
San Jose Guayabal   3  0  0  3 21 36 -15   0
The Sarian          3  0  0  3 14 37 -23   0

[Super-Llamaland]

No posts, so...

Kickball Matchday 3

San Jose Guayabal 8–17 Saintland
Garundia 6–8 Super-Llamaland
Cassadaigua 15–8 The Sarian

Garundia Kickball  Pl  W  D  L  F  A  GD Pts
Saintland           3  2  1  0 36 16 +20   7  H2H: 8-8
Cassadaigua         3  2  1  0 30 22  +8   7
Super-Llamaland     3  2  0  1 22 19  +3   6  H2H: 8-6
Garundia            3  2  0  1 28 21  +7   6
San Jose Guayabal   3  0  0  3 21 36 -15   0
The Sarian          3  0  0  3 14 37 -23   0

"Welcome to Channel Eight SportsCast. In today's news, Super-Llamaland defeats Garundia in kickball, and the World Baseball Classic is about to start. Also, we're in the Lzher-Jeckland invitational. We only have twenty minutes, so let's go fast."

(9.5 minutes on baseball)
(9.5 minutes on tennis)

"That wraps it up, oh, wait, yeah, we beat Garundia. Correspondent Herman Shankster is in Garundia right now. Whoa, Herman. That's some interesting clothing choice."

"Hi, I'm Herman Shankster. All of my clothes and food were stolen by a Garundian thief who didn't like foreigners. He somehow also stole the clothes I was wearing and food I was chewing. None of the local shops offered shirts and pants so I had to buy this jock strap made out of fish scales and dye my skin maroon so nobody would threaten me."

"Anyways, I'm here with a local Garundian, who is mad that our kickball team beat theirs. Okay, Mister, what did you think about the match-OH **** MY LEG!"

"Uh, Herman, you know they have a scandal going on where they sell maroon dye which is actually a genetic add-on that will give you the intelligence, appearance, and personality of the average Garundian, right?"

"Wha?"

"Wow, Herman, you've been working out-OH **** CUT THE SCENE!"

(Herman suddenly comes extremely tanned and muscular and snarls at the camera. He eats his microphone, then attempts to murder the camera man with his bare hands)

"CUT! CUT!"

(Thumping noises)

"Oh, the humanity!"

"Gary the cameraman's dead!"

(Camera goes dark)

"Uh oh."

Gregslist.net
Your source for shady property deals!

ADVERTISEMENT by Channel Eight Llamanean News

WANTED. A correspondent for Garundia to cover the Kickball Championships. Pay is $50 an hour, plus expenses. Bringing many spare clothes, locking your suitcase with a medium-sized padlock, and dying yourself maroon at home, are all job requirements. Do not purchase any maroon dye in Garundia. Applicants should be passionate about sports and should enjoy fish.

[Garundia]

The news of the filtered through to Garundia's Leader, Mokri Kalimbaa.

"Dead, you say?"

"Yes, sir."

"How did he die?"

"Garundia killed him."

"No!"

"Yes sir. Live on television."

"On what?"

"It is an invention like radio, but with pictures."

"So people saw this happen?"

"It is possible."

"This is terrible! This sport... this was to show the world that we are good. These are our guests. We can't go around killing when things do not go our way."

"But it is our sport. We must win!"

"No! Sport is supposed to forge positive relationship. Not this!"

"But it is our sport!"

"It is our sport when just Garundia plays! But we have other teams here. We must share the sport, and be the best!"

"But we are not the best! We lose!"

"Then you must win! Or else, it will be our players who get into trouble. Not the outsiders! We must be welcoming towards them!"

"Yes sir!"

"Now, I must go onto this... seeing radio to apologise to the world! We will have no more of this in Garundia!"*

*OOC - We might have more of this in Garundia. Scorination will be in approximately 90 minutes.

[Garundia]

Kickball Matchday 4

Garundia 11–6 Saintland
Cassadaigua 11–7 San Jose Guayabal
The Sarian 6–10 Super-Llamaland

Garundia Kickball  Pl  W  D  L  F  A  GD Pts
Cassadaigua         4  3  1  0 41 29 +12  10
Super-Llamaland     4  3  0  1 32 25  +7   9  H2H: 8-6
Garundia            4  3  0  1 39 27 +12   9
Saintland           4  2  1  1 42 27 +15   7
San Jose Guayabal   4  0  0  4 28 47 -19   0
The Sarian          4  0  0  4 20 47 -27   0

[Super-Llamaland]

Kickball Matchday 4

Garundia 11–6 Saintland
Cassadaigua 11–7 San Jose Guayabal
The Sarian 6–10 Super-Llamaland

Garundia Kickball Pl W D L F A GD Pts
Cassadaigua 4 3 1 0 41 29 +12 10
Super-Llamaland 4 3 0 1 32 25 +7 9 H2H: 8-6
Garundia 4 3 0 1 39 27 +12 9
Saintland 4 2 1 1 42 27 +15 7
San Jose Guayabal 4 0 0 4 28 47 -19 0
The Sarian 4 0 0 4 20 47 -27 0

The Daily Derp
The internet's number-one spot to mock people for doing great things!
Garundian Dye Scandal Expose: NOT GARUNDIAN!
-Peter Mahogany, junior contributor

Yep, you heard right. Not only are two games deciding the finals (more of that on some website that cares! LOL), but the Garundian Dye Scandal that indirectly murdered Gary the Channel Eight Camera-Guy and also really messed up Herman Shankster's life IS NOT GARUNDIAN. In fact, the stall owner was caught and admitted to being...NOT GARUNDIAN.

The maroon-dye-genetic-add-on scandal (MA DYGENADONS), now known as "Mrs. Dygenadons", was actually perpetuated by evil citizens of Hicana. One of those evil citizens, Ricardo Ferdinand Fernandez, was caught selling maroon dye and quickly tackled by angry family of Gerald "Gary" Thompson, late Channel Eight Camera-Man. Fernandez plead guilty and admitted to everything, including the names of the six others in it. He admitted that the Centauri Council for Progress put them up to it as well, and revealed the other names:

-Jason Martinez, 26
-Rob Michaels, 33
-Jeffrey Hernandez, 23
-Michael Cerraro, 29
-Chris Diaz, 24
-Nick Cross, 19

A predominantly Hicanan-native group, the six all plead guilty.

"What a shame, a bunch of young Hicanans who decided to do something terrible," Human Republican Party representative Justin Bohr mentioned, "but even worse is the evil CCP that tasked the Hicanans with doing so. A shame."

More to come.

-The Daily Derp, 9:26 AM

Katzenburg Trib: A Blog by Darnell Katzenburg and Friends
Breaking News: Tigers are close to finals!

-Devin Tyler, F.O.K. and James Tyler, B.O.K.

With a dominant 10-6 victory over The Sarian, lead by a furious late run by Mike Washburn, who scored four goals, the Tigers are in second! But enough of that, let's just look at the game table, because that's not the main story, right?

TSA 3 2 1 6
SLL 0 4 6 [i]10

The line above? First number is first 30 minutes, then the next 30 and the final 30. As you can see, it was all Sarian early on, the Sarian really taking control of the first half (5-2 lead at end). But an astonishing 8-1 run over the rest of it really made it clear that the Tigers are not to be trifled with. We've beaten everybody except for Cassadaigua (8-6 L) and Saintland (we play tomorrow!), and we could do well in the finals.

TSA: IDK 12', IDK 23', IDK 29', IDK 40', IDK 49', IDK 66'
SLL: Washburn 42', Aaron 55', Aaron 57', Washburn 58', Johnson 66', Smith 70', Washburn 77', Washburn 82', Washburn 88', Smith 90+1'

Okay, I'll hand to over to James to talk scenarios.

Basically, San Jose Guayabal and The Sarian are winless with zero points each. They're playing each other, though, so somebody's going to come out ahead. Which means we don't have to cover them at all. Let's take a look.

Garundia Kickball  Pl  W  D  L  F  A  GD Pts
Cassadaigua         4  3  1  0 41 29 +12  10
Super-Llamaland     4  3  0  1 32 25  +7   9 (8-6 H2H)
Garundia            4  3  0  1 39 27 +12   9
Saintland           4  2  1  1 42 27 +15   7

Garundia v. Cassadaigua, Tigers v. Saintland. Let's cover it all.

Hosts/Tigers win: Tigers 12, Garundia 12, Cassadaigua 10, Saintland 7
Hosts/Sanctii win: Garundia 12, Saintland 10 (Probable-RD), Cassadaigua 10, Tigers 9
Dagans/Tigers win: Cassadaigua 13, Tigers 12, Garundia 9, Saintland 7
Dagans/Sanctii win: Cassadaigua 13, Saintland 10, Tigers 9, Garundia 9
Hosts W/Draw: Garundia 12, Cassadaigua 10 (H2H), Tigers 10, Saintland 8
Dagans W/Draw: Cassadaigua 13, Tigers 10, Garundia 9, Saintland 8
Draw/Tigers Win: Tigers 12, Cassadaigua 11, Garundia 10, Saintland 7
Draw/Sanctii Win: Cassadaigua 11, Garundia 10 (H2H), Saintland 10, Tigers 9

That's all. The Tigers advance if they win, miss out if they lose, and maybe make it if they draw and Cassadaigua wins. We'll see!