Cup of Harmony 58 [Everything Thread]

[Gregoryisgodistan]

Gregoryisgodistan unveiled their new soccer uniforms today. The jerseys were produced by the Gregoryisgodistan Clothing Bureau. Since the team was busy practicing, Model Slave 923UDHS wore the uniform for the press conference.

[Northern Sunrise Islands]

DE PLACA
PFFFFFFT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

CUP OF HARMONY 58 / GOZAÇÃO SPORT CLUBE
Preview, Part 1: Our neck of the woods

Among the teams that accepted their invitations, an impressive fourteen nations of Esportiva are making an appearence at the Cup of Harmony and boy, how do each team look so different from each other. The "Third Continent" is strongly represented this time around, by different colours, different names (sadly no appearence of Ignacio Porras, that sucks) and most importantly, a lot of football. So, why not starting this tournament preview by listing the thirteen Esportivans? It's our neck of the woods anyways...

ALBAIE
Rank: 127th (5,99)
Captain: William Dubrack (CMF)

Our first name is Albaie, Esportiva's third tea drinker resident. Good god, these guys are that Knight country that played at the Campionato three years ago reincarnated!

APOX
Rank: 29th (24,91)
Captain: N/A

From the third to the first, how amusing. Ah, Apoxian Football Bastards, we meet again! One of those guys that use Kirola (no love for the region's one, we guess), drunk too much tea to play and now are at the Cup of Harmony. Sucks that they are favorites, but given how they normally screw up against us, it's not too likely.

A VERY STRANGE NAME (Åsløtten-Bëðerbørg så Česky)
Rank: 106th (8,11)
Captain: Mads Sørensen (CB)

Took me a whole day to write their nation's name, that's usually a good sign, right? Aside from being the resident Barrengeka wearers and also speaking a really bizarre language, which probably gives Sunrician a run for its money, this team is probably a spot filler, maybe with a slight possibility of Second Round.

BRENECIA
Rank: 100th (8,74)
Captain: N/A

Gotta love a side that actually declares openly that they are "bluntly, a bit shit", but given our luck for groups like last time around (Neo Lemmitania and Taeshan at our group, seriously?), we ain't seeing them too. Also, another Kirola-wearing team. See? Nations like these are the ones that keep firing people off Vulpine.

CHIATA
Rank: 111st (7,61)
Captain: N/A

Inside Esportivan borders, they are the newest one of the bunch, as relocation has been quite an issue with them. Dub them the Last Minute Entries, the Suns probably will see a lot of rain on their way. Also, Kirola.

ESTOPE
Rank: 79th (11,17)
Captain: N/A

Now this is a squad that may have a good chance of playing at the Second Round. Estope, one of our headquarters' favorite teams because of their choice of kit (dubbed "The Eyesores" by DE PLACA), has a well-put squad and a decent chance of going somewhere here.

FELIX
Rank: 93rd (9,34)
Captain: TBD (Between Viggo Tyko [GK] and Mikel Araboa [CF])

At last, someone that actually uses the region's kitmaker! Felix is another team playing at this one and continues the job of "giving a hope" for a Second Round. Who knows, maybe with the new coach, Ishikawa Haruka from Mizuyuki, they could give a good run around.

GERMAN AMERICAN STATES
Rank: 97th (9,18)
Captain: Gunnar Baumgartner (OMF)

Another team at the 90s and not the last one, you'll see. German American States is actually a very promising side and could make an impact straight out this time around. Also, their kits, made by Adler Sports, is pretty nice; this writer actually wanting to buy it and wear while coming to work.

NEW SIDEBURN
Rank: 46th (17,95)
Captain: Lucia Oakwood (DMF)

There ain't much to make fun out of New Sideburn, aside from being another of those teams that wear Kirola. For the start, they have Oakwood's roughness backing them up for any match and with her, they tend to use fast players around. And second, they are the third name of the current "Esportivan Power 4", with those two tea drinkers and those strange guys from Paradystopia. Also, winning a Baptism of Fire and a Campionato Esportiva AND a Market Cup? Damn.

NORTHERN SUNRISE ISLANDS
Rank: 57th (14,89)
Captain: Justin Redwing (LB)

The Vaporeons, also known as New Sunrise Islands (very funny, Cup of Harmony hosts, Ha Ha) were once part of the best four of Esportiva, but even no longer a part of it, are still a force to be reckoned with. Also, it's our national team, known for getting at the worst groups ever and pulling bizarre stuff from whatever angle possible. From Milly Trakat riding a Pony at the U-15 World Cup to Alcouin literally showing she was a half-Pokémon on front of everyone in Farfadillis, the Vaporeons are the hues that Esportiva lacked. Also, Vulpine, yay!

PARADYSTOPIA
Rank: 44th (18,47)
Captain: Kjn Volgjsrhaad (GK)

Remember that we nicknamed Estope "The Eyesores"? Paradystopia was originally the one that would take the cake, actually. If you even want to ask why, check their secondary kit, really. Either way, Paradystopia is still an amazing team and should really be considered among the favorites of the title. And if you don't believe on that, ask Volgjsrhaad, that giant of a goalie to see the answer.

SAN JOSÉ GUAYABAL
Rank: 159th (4,16)
Captain: N/A

YES! FOR THE LOVE OF ARCEUS, YES! These guys are amusing at all levels, seriously. If anything, it's great to see that the hosts are giving San José Guayabal a chance to play at the Cup of Harmony. Probably one of the weaker teams of Esportiva, though it has also to do with their relative youthness to the rest of the tournament and the region itself, just the sight of seeing a bunch of Guayabalian fans at Falcus or Free Republics will be just awesome. Oh, and they wear Barrengeka, that's life.

SANGTI
Rank: 91st (9,68)
Captain: Gregorio Bautista (RB)

90s, we meet again! Probably the hugest attractive for Sunrisian fans at Sangti's matches is the fact that some of them will be playing at the Sunrise League after the World Cup break, such as Villejo, Pablo, Sor and Magcaleng. The reasons to make fun of? Well, they wear Kirola (look, another one fired of Vulpine) and they play on that amazing formation that has the whole left front empty. Why? Dunno.

THE LICENTIAN ISLES
Rank: 38th (20,15)
Captain: Ruaraidh Donaldson (CMF)

And the last of the bloody tea drinkers, though not really the weakest (at all) of the trio, Licentiapacisterra, oh, I mean, the Licentian Isles, have finally obtained a World Cup appearence last time around. But status quo made them return almost empty-handed from the tournament and only to top it off, luck screwed them out by placing them at The Holy Empire's group. Anyways, they are still a big team and... how the hell do you speak Ruaraidh anyways?

OTHER NEWS
> "The Running Fox isn't the only logo we are putting around", declared Vulpine Sportif's HQ
> Project +90 celebrates huge sellings for this season
> SGFL: First tests made, currently impressive results
> Kitsunia-Deesse ponders sending a national team to the World Cup
> Ninon Beart packing heat in the ball market
> Regional News: Hardrup Ambition's striker on jail after trying to blow up airport

OOC: If you didn't like anything of this post, try translating Gozação and you'll get it.

[Barunia]

Pirate's Cove, on Marion Island's west coast. According to legend, it was once a safe haven for smugglers and buccaneers, a hidden base from which to terrorise the islands. Now, ironically, it's a naval base.

The BNV Constellation rode in the harbour, the flags flying from her mast indicating an imminent departure. Midshipman Thomas "Tom" Silva was amongst the last to arrive from the shore. Pirate's cove didn't have much space, and the dock space was currently being occupied by two submarines and a frigate. The Constellation was only here briefly anyway, as it had just returned from a patrol in the ocean south of Barunia. Now the ship was heading north, west of the Northern Islands, stopping only at Pirate's Cove to resupply and give it's crew of three-hundred a precious twenty-four hours of shore leave. Thomas had spent his well, heading into the nearest village for a pint or two and a game of pool at the local pub. Alcohol was forbidden aboard ship, so it would be his only beer for the next three months. Thomas shook his head as he grabbed hold of the wire ladder and pulled himself up onto the deck with practised ease. It was a hard life being a sailor, but it was all he'd ever wanted to be.

[Alitaba]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4 and 5

Part 1
Part 2

---

The DVD
The search for the new keeper

Anton sent the telegrams, in which after 2 days, he received all the needed responses. Only one though accepted the offer to join the Alitaban team: Carlos Santiago.

After the interview, Carlos left a DVD to Anton, which he opened. This contained a video, a mixtape of what he could show to the team, and a file, which he opened. It was his biography, unneat and unfinished, but he still read the contents.

Stop and Eject.

---

The Fringe Keeper

Carlos is currently a fringe keeper at CD Viocla. He had his haydays when he was the first choice keeper of his hometown club, 1854 Maragtas, one of the most prominent Alitaban amateur clubs in the nation. He was born in Maragtas, to a Sangtian father and an Alitaban mother. His father was an owner of a tyre company in Viocla, and while he was on a business trip, he impregnated a woman, which was his mother. However, when he was born, his mother died of complications. His aunt raised him up, since his father was still missing in action and stayed in Alitaba until he turned 19, when he was playing for 1854. His father then went to their house to get Carlos.

At first, his aunt did not want his father to get Carlos. He was not there when his sister had a hard time carrying Carlos in her womb, until her death. But Carlos intervened.

"I want to be with my father. I really wanted to know who he is, and to make up lost time, I am coming with him."

"You are not going anywhere, Carlos. Stay here."

"Tita, I have made my decision. I love you, but I have to face reality. Thank you for raising me up, and loving you is my best way to give back to what you have done for me."

Carlos grabbed his things, and went to his father. His aunt, was crying, and she could have done nothing to stop him. Before the pair left, his father gave her money, a sign of gratitude perhaps for raising his son. "I don't need that. What I need from you is the assurance that you will take care of the person who I raised with my own tears and sweat." He nodded, put the money on the floor, and left. He was not sure what she did with the money. He did not care now, as he had his son with him.

He passed by the clubhouse and bid farewell to his teammates at the club. He thanked his coach for releasing him from his contract. After all, it was beyond his control to go to his father's hometown, Viocla.

[Callumackbar]

Callumackbar Cup of Harmony 58 Squad

Head Coach: Johnny Bailey - 48

#1 Javik Adnyamathanha (C) GK [Age 23] Wolverhampton Admirals
#2 Samuel Richards RB [Age 22] Ackbar City
#3 Lukas Shore LB [Age 17] Sporting Quara
#4 Colin McGee CM [Age 26] Sheffley-Hoyes FC
#5 Bryan Weaver CB [Age 31] Northtip AFC
#6 Jay Hicks CB [Age 29] Southtip AFC
#7 Aleskei Olsson RW [Age 18] Plying Towm
#8 Jack Price CAM [Age 19] Wolverhampton Admirals
#9 Mohammed Sakoura ST [Age 19] Ackbaria United
#10 Jesus Salazar ST [Age 27] Wolverhampton Admirals
#11 Alexander Olsson LW [Age 18] Plying Town
#12 Marcos Richardson GK [Age 15] Gallifrey United
#13 Cory Bowman LB [Age 27] Bridgfordley Albion
#14 Jody Powell CB [Age 28] Sporting Quara
#15 Christopher Valdez RB [Age 31] Pikachu Athletic
#16 Alfred Ray RM [Age 36] Oldtown Wanderers
#17 Gary Stevens CDM [Age 20] Bruminum City
#18 Bernard Burton CM [Age 23] Silva-Santos City FC
#19 Dominic Owen CAM [Age 29] Vancumdon
#20 Ashely Richards LM [Age 17] Wolverhampton Admirals
#21 Eddie Pitman ST [Age 32] Ackbarian Rivers
#22 Boyd Morris ST [Age 16] Oldtown Wanderers
#23 Frank Forde ST [Age 21] Sporting Quara

*More to follow*

[Filopines]

Why Filopines Have Absolutely No Chance Of Winning The Fifty-Eighth Cup Of Harmony

(also known as the 'WFHANCOWTFECOH)

(pronounced 'wif-ahn-cowt-feeco')

The First Reason: We're just so crap.

"But we're ranked 51st in the multiverse!"

Ranks don't matter, little boy. In football, you don't need the skills, you don't need the money, you don't need the rank, you don't even need the women. All you need is rubber chickens. But, for some reason, all our rubber chickens were stolen by an unknown thief. Ever since, the poultry industry and the rubber industry have gone absolutely bank-ruptured.

"Uh, sir? It's bankrupt. Not bank-ruptured or whatever you said."

What? Shut up, boy. Sit down RIGHT NOW.

The Second Reason: We're getting old.

Not the players, but all the football fans. We conducted a survey during the World Cup which showed that every man, woman and/or frog in the five retirement homes we surveyed, loves football to death. That means they are getting very close to hating.

We also surveyed three different high schools and four different primary schools (that's elementary school for all you dongs). Out of those seven schools, there was only one football fan out of three-thousand odd students: the 85-year old principal of one of the surveyed primary schools. That's dangerously close to hating. And he's a convicted pedophile as well.

Consensus: Come on, Filos! You can do better than that.

The Third Reason: We will be playing in Falcus.

Dear Non-Rushmori Nations And/Or People That Don't Know The Situation Involving Filopines and Falcus-comeout-whereveryouare,

Three nations border the great nation of Filopines. They are: Taeshan, Crolacia and Falcus or Falcus-comeout-whereveryouare (whatever their waste of space is called).

We have been neighbors since one of us made a map claim...

"Woah, this place is like limbo! Can we go back to IC, please?"

Despite being right next to each other, there are absolutely NO similarities at all between the two nation's culture, language, people and environment.

Falcus has these weird-ass dances while the Filopinian dances are elegant and upbeat at the same time.

Filopines is a very green country filled with untouched forests and unpolluted cities while Falcus is just a barren wasteland full of excrement.

Well, at least that's what the great government of Filopines has told us.

The Fourth Reason: We've no female players in the squad.

What's football without the women, right?

"But you said earlier that the women don't matter. It's all about rubber chickens you said."

That was about off the field. This is about actual female players on the pitch getting down and dirty with the men.

"Oh, okay."

Some people were so outraged that there were no female players called up, that they even called for Harley Reid to be sacked as the Filopinian manager. Even I think it's outrageous. We need more female players and shorter shorts and a much more thin material for the jersey (for female players, not men because I am heterosexual).

The Fifth Reason: That's it. We're done here. We just can't win.

[Chiata]

Style: -3
KPB Rank: 111
Overall Record: 10-4-20

Gulf Stadium, Villitova(60,000)

Coach: Roger Fillmont

Roster:
Starting:
GK: Ron Gross 15
D: Ted Stevenson 22
D: Roy Hubert 17
D: George Chriss 45
D: Keo Yales 34
D: Jack Foer 25
MF: Paul Outman 12
MF: Ram Willis 7
MF: Bill Rickers 10
F: Sammy Swade 1
F: Joe Ringer-Toso 20

Subs:
GK: Fill Stewert 35
GK: Julius Netherhill 37
D: Frank Zimm 46
D: Lee Robertson 40
D: Noel Stevenson 57 *
D: Buck Miles 54 *
MF: Logan Britt 33
MF: Ethan McGreen 20
MF: Roger McGeehe 52**
F: Tony Stewart 49**
F: Rick Vickerson 10

* former Chiata Puma
** Rookie

Kits:
Home:

Away:


My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:

Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod scoring events Y
RP injuries to my players Y
Godmod injuries to my players N
Hand out yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out red cards to my players Y max of 1
Godmod other events N

[Saugeais]

POW! Out goes Pieran


Powell Pieran after viewing the Saintland result

The decision was made with a heavy heart, but a firm hand. FAS chairman Michael Francis, in a brief statement to members of the media, said that Powell Pieran, the winningest manager in Saugeain history, has been relived of his duties at the national level. "It was not an easy decision, by myself or any of the members here," said Francis, "but when you have standards to be met, you are expected to meet them. We had every hope in the world that Saugeais would once again make an appearance in the World Cup, and while the qualifying campaign results would've been sufficient in almost an other group, letting Saintland advance over us is a disappointment."

This announcement of Pieran's sacking comes just one week after the final match of qualifying was played. Saugeais was almost immediately extended an invitation to the Cup of Harmony, to which the national team graciously accepted. Pieran, while showing a distinct will to right the Saugeain ship in this competition, was given the news of his release shortly after the CoH acceptance. "It is very sad that they are willing to move forward without me," Pieran said in a press conference. "I've given this team my all, made it all about the bettering of Saugeain football, and to not let me get a chance to redeem myself in the Cup of Harmony is a disappointment. But in the end, I have to respect [the FAS] decision."

Powell Pieran leaves the national team as the coach with the most wins all time, as well as the best winning percentage. His 77 wins in 115 matches, leading to a victory percentage of 66.9%, are both record taken from another long time fan favorite manager: the Sortherner Iarlaith Mag Aonghusa, who now manages for Sargossa. Saugeais have released that assistant manager Thomas LeBoeuf will take over as manager on an interim duty until the FAS came find a suitable replacement.

[Falcus]

The group draw and schedule has been added to the OP. MD1 will be on Friday (the 4th), with both hosts cutting off at 9PM EST.

[Qazox]

QAZOX faces familar foe in CoH.

ASMV is the best known team Qazox will face at the cuppa de loserinos, aka the Cup of Harmony. Felix and co-hosts Free Republics are in the group as well, along with Albaie. Should be a group that is winnable.

SCHEDULE:
v. Felix
OFF
v. Free Republics
v. ASMV
v. Albaie

[Estope]

Group G
#79 Estope
Estope is a first time Cup of Harmony participant and one of 14 teams representing Esportiva in The Cup of Harmony. They are an offensive minded team who, if they live up to their potential, have a shot to pull off an upset. They scored the most goals of anyone in Group G in the World Cup Qualifying Cycle. This high powered offense is lead by striker Jacob Lawrence and midfielder Alex Stark. These two players do a great job of controlling the game and getting quality shots off. If they perform well Estope can beat anyone. However when they are off it often leads to humiliating defeats. The defense has been suspect throughout Inzer's tenor as manager and must improve for Estope to have a shot at moving on. And while the team may be very talented, the coaching staff has completely lost the faith of many of the fans. Another poor showing in qualifying paired with Inzer's personality has lead to many fans to call for his dismissal. The Estope Soccer Association board has already issue a statement saying his contract is being reviewed at the end of this cycle. It is highly likely that he will be forced to resign unless he finishes top two in the group. This has created an entire media saga and been a real distraction.

#115 Iturributa
Iturributa is representing Rushmore and is also a very good team. Although they are ranked fairly low, they have the tools in place to be competitive in the Group. They have an above average and capable offense. Forward Yeremi Belaustigetigoitia is a star player and is possibly one of the best in the world. He has great skill and speed and will be a tough matchup for any defender. The Iturributa offense clearly revolves around him and so his performance will be crucial to the success of this team. The defense is the real problem for this team. In World Cup Qualifying they gave up a group worst 22 goals. This played a significant part in their poor showing. There are no real defensive stars for Iturributa and so opponents have taken advantage of this weakness. This also may be due in part to the transition to a new manager. Eneko Dicharry took over at the beginning of this cycle and thus far has been unimpressive. He is still unproven at the international level but has a proven track record as a club coach. No doubt he will have this team turned around once given the time.

#105 Crystal Empire
Crystal Empire is a team to be reckoned with in Group G. Despite a low ranking, this is a stacked team. They did very well in teh Baptism of Fire and despite being a young team were competitive in World Cup Qualifying. Their offense will not score a lot of goals but do a good job of managing the game. In fact statistically they have the worst offense in the group. But that does not mean they are not talented. Rather than focusing on skill, they rely a lot on their speed and endurance to take advantage of opportunities. The Crystal Empire are a second half team and try to wear down their opponents. This strategy leads to many close and low scoring games. Their biggest advantage is their powerful defense. The Crystal Empire has probably the best defense in the group and focus most of their efforts on stopping opposing attacks. This will bode well for them in this defensive minded group.

#33 Jeru FC
Jeru FC is the team to beat in Group G. They have been here many times before and are one of the favorites to win it all. This traditional powerhouse is well rounded and has the most talent in the group and one of the best coaching staffs. They missed World Cup by only a single point and looked impressive throughout. The offense is very capable of scoring and, although they managed relatively few goals in qualifying, are one of the better offensive clubs. And to compliment that impressive offense, their defense is also one of the best. This is a well rounded Jeru FC team that will be hard for anyone to beat, especially when considering the long history and tradition they already have.

#44 Paradystopia
Another team from Esportiva, Paradystopia comes in as one of the early favorites to win the title. They too missed the World Cup by only a single point. Paradystopia is a star studded team. Everyone on the roster is an outstanding athlete and could play for any team in the world. With all this capability, they had to be very disappointed not to make the World Cup Proper. This could play out two ways for this team. 1. They come out playing with something to prove and win the group or 2. They are still disappointed about missing the World Cup and so suffer a let down and underperform in the Cup of Harmony. With the amount of talent this team has option one seems more likely. They have the weapons on offense to score and are very stout on defense. It all comes down to motivation for this team.

Predictions
1. Paradystopia - 4-0 - We expect them to play with a chip on their shoulder and not only win the group, but win the entire cup.
2. Jeru FC - 3-1 - They will likely move on as well with only a close loss to Paradystopia, although they could be on upset alert against Estope and the Crystal Empire.
3. Estope - 2-2 - They match up well with this group and have an offense that can challenge many of these defenses. However they just don't have the talent yet to compete with the top dogs of the group.
4. Crystal Empire - 1-3 - They have a bright future ahead of them but will struggle in this group. The match-ups are unfavorable for this team and they still are in the process of building their program.
5. Iturributa - 0-4 - We put them winless and in last place by default because we put the others ahead of them. They could just as easily finish in third with a 2-2 record.

Schedule:
MD1: Friday, Oct. 4th: BYE
MD2: Sunday, Oct. 6th: Estope v Iturributa
MD3: Tuesday, Oct. 8th: Crystal Empire v Estope
MD4: Thursday, Oct. 10th: Estope v Jeru FC
MD5: Saturday, Oct. 12th: Paradystopia v Estope
Round of 16: Monday, Oct. 14th: TBA
Quarterfinals: Wednesday, Oct. 16th: TBA
Semifinals: Friday, Oct. 18th: TBA
FInal: Sunday, Oct. 20th: TBA

[Barunia]

BaruniainSports.com.bu

Cup of Harmony 58 preview
Article by Kitty Smith

The group draw has ben announced for the 58th Cup of Harmony, and Barunia have been placed in Group C. So that means the team will be off to Falcus. Things certainly look good for the Suns here, as they are second seed in the group. Let's take a closer look.

Group C
Barunia (40)
Brenecia (100)
Astograth (60)
Jeruselem (35)
San José Guayabal (159)

Schedule
MD1: Bye
MD2: Barunia v Brenecia
MD3: Astograth v Barunia
MD4: Barunia v Jeruselem
MD5: San José Guayabal v Barunia

The Suns have an ideal schedule, with the bye coming right at the start of the tournament, giving them four uninterrupted games of football and avoiding a tense final day that occurs with a last-day bye. What's more, the final match will be against the lowest ranked side in the group. But who is this opposition? Here's a more in-depth analysis.

Brenecia - Brenecia, to quote their own press release "are a bit shit." I wonder if the players have the same lack of confidence in their abilities as their Association clearly does. If so, that could well be the difference when the Suns meet them on the opening day. Never underestimate the power of belief. Stylistically, Brenecia's Patriots play very wide on the wings, which may cause some trouble for Barunia's centralised play, and the Suns will need to widen out the midfield if they want to stop Brenecia from advancing down the pitch. Julian Millet will be crucial to the defence, as it's likely he'll play one-on-one with lone Patriot striker Brad Kuepper.
Prediction: 2-1 Win for the Suns

Astograth - The Olives have been around for a long time, making their WCC debut in the 42nd Baptism of Fire. While they may have slipped down in form from their glory days, they have a new manager and certainly should not be underestimated. Playing a 4-3-1-2 formation, the key for the Suns here will be to isolate Eriz Bakaikoa, the attacking midfielder, and to create openings in the defence for one of the forwards.
Prediction: 2-2 draw

Jeruselem - Jeruselem were runner-ups in the last Cup of Harmony, losing the final on penalties. The Princesses are not a team to be taken lightly, and Jeresulem will be the biggest threat in the group. They play a 4-4-2 formation, similair to the SUns own formation. However, Barunia's 3-1-3-1-2 has more flexibility, and the Suns can utilise that in a rolling form they may be able to outnumber and outmanoeuvre the Princesses. The defence will need to be well prepared for a counterattack though, and Willans is likely to be well-worked.
Prediction: 0-1 loss for the Suns

San José Guayabal - Rank outsiders, SJG are a surprising inclusion into this Cup of Harmony. Coming into WCC competition this cycle, they managed just three wins in qualifiers. Their formation is almost identical to Barunia's, and with a similar aggression the danger will be that the team's cancel each other out. Hopefully though, the Suns' experience will come through, and they will win possession. That will be a key factor in this game, and expect the team with the most of the ball to win this one.
Prediction: 0-3 Win for the Suns

So that's the teams. There's plenty of good teams here, but it is certainly winnable for the Suns, and we should expect to qualify for the Round of Sixteen. Go Suns!

[Taeshan]

Another 1.

http://chirb.it/C6EHIq

[Jeruselem]

Julia Dallas and Princess Melody Song Dallas

Julia: I'm Julia Dallas for Naked News Jeruselem, taking the place of Princess Amy who can't be here. And no, I'm not playing in the team since I'm not really much of football player anyway. I'm with Princess Melody:
Melody: Hello everyone
Julia: We're in Falcus for the 40th Cup of Harmony. Last CoH Jeruselem almost won
Melody: Yes, almost. We're going one better.
Julia: We're in group C with Barunia as 40th seed as the closest seed.
Melody: The group is pretty much a mystery to us other than Astrograth

Julia: We have Brenecia and San José Guayabal also in this group
Melody: Hopefully we do much better here than in the world cup
Julia: Almost winning last time, and not about to give in
Melody: This is not holiday, we're here to win!
Julia: Jeru FC are in Free Republics in Group G
Melody: I'm glad they are there and not here

Julia: Estope, Iturributa, Crystal Empire, Pardystopia join the Cannons
Melody: I really know little about those teams
Julia: But everyone expects Jeru FC do make the next round
Melody: Yes, they should
Julia: Who's the big threat to Jeru FC?
Melody: Paradystopia, they failed to qualify by one point like Jeru FC

Julia: There's plenty of familiar faces in this CoH
Melody: Eastfield Lodge, Taeshan, Milchama, Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, Qazox, Mangolana, Saugeais, New Sideburn ... just to name the ones people know about
Julia: It will be an interesting cup
Melody: Well, I don't care as long as we or Jeru FC win it
Julia: So it's not time for games
Melody: So close to winning the last CoH, we want to win. Jeru FC have, we've failed twice in the final

Julia: It is a cup of failure?
Melody: There's plenty of great teams in this cup. Some failed to qualify by the barest margin.
Julia: Do you plan hand your job to someone else should you fail?
Melody: I'm waiting for someone to step up and say I want the job
Julia: Surely someone would have
Melody: Well, I'm doing the job. And it's no time to step down right now.

Julia: Some say, an man should take the job back
Melody: Jeru FC is all men, and look they didn't make the finals either. They are higher ranked too.
Julia: Some say we should give up
Melody: This defeatist atttitude is crap! The moment you give up, is the moment you lose.
Julia: So no time for defeatist talk
Melody: No, we're here to win

Group C in Falcus
Barunia (40)
Brenecia (100)
Astograth (60)
Jeruselem (35)
San José Guayabal (159)

Group G in Free Republics
Estope
Iturributa
Crystal Empire
Jeru FC
Pardystopia

[Free Republics]

Sporting World

We're hosting the Cup of Harmony and we're going to win it
by: Rule Theriault

Once again, we fell short of qualifying for the World Cup. This time around, it hurts slightly more because now we will not be the first nation from our region to qualify for the World Cup. Regardless, we stepped forward with a bid and will now be hosting the 58th edition of the Cup of Harmony. Now, teams from 19 foreign lands will get to experience what it is like to be in a free country. While the Federation Government unfortunately got their bid with Falcus in before those bureaucrats from the King's Government of Saintland could finalize our bid, I am still happy to be competing in the Cup of Harmony on home turf.

Of course, it is clear from the results of the draw that I had absolutely no control over the draw whatsoever. There is no way that I would have allowed us to be drawn against Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, who are somehow still the #2 ranked nation in the world. Don't ask me about the KPB rankings. These are the same rankings that have those Sanctii ranked below Barunia. Barunia, for crying out loud! The KPB rankings are a disgrace and an international joke. Everybody knows that those Sanctii are better than the 45th best team in the world. I think the pollsters at KPB need to adjust their polling methods.

Speaking of polls, isn't it unsurprising how the poll that actually mattered yesterday went in a different direction from what the polls predicted? The final polls had Danielsson leading and Izmailov fading. Instead, the actual poll saw Samuel Izmailov finish first with over 20 percent of the vote. Yes, Danielsson, the "reasonable" Progressive, also advanced, but he just barely reached the 10% threshold. Those polls were skewed all along! So, now we're down to the independent Progressive Danielson, the National Greatness candidate Izmailov, the playboy Liberal Nicholas Harding, the "Moderate" Rene Baum and that dangerous Radical Vinicio Piazza. So far, I have mostly remained quiet about Piazza's absurd claims, but I want to assure everybody that the Cup of Harmony is not a waste of tax dollars. It is, rather, one of the best decisions our government has ever made. Even if the matches are poorly attended, it will pay for itself because of all the money those foreigners will pump into our economy. Besides, it is the perfect opportunity to address my own trolling problems, especially since we will be facing the Trolls yet again. Playing them to a 1-1 draw at the Soccer Palace wasn't enough, so now somebody thought it was a good idea to draw us in the same group with the Trolls. Why can't those obnoxious Trolls just go away? Didn't they embarrass themselves enough in World Cup qualifying?

We will open up against Albaie at Church of Saintland Stadium. Albaie made their debut in international soccer last year, winning their first match in that year's U-15 World Cup against Ibex before losing against 95X and Ko-oren, falling short of advancement. In the BoF, they finished 29th in the Casaran stage. They went on to finish an unimpressive 7th in their World Cup group last year. This year, they entered the Campionato Esportiva, the "championship" tournament of that loser region that doesn't have a single nation in the World Cup, and finished 2nd in a group of 7 to advance. After playing Cyborg Holland, of all places, to a 1-1 draw, they conceded 3 goals in extra time. The fact that Cyborg Holland has finished 2nd or 3rd in the Campionato Esportiva a total of 4 times in the last 5 years just shows what a joke that tournament is. Cyborg Holland is such a non-entity in international soccer that they didn't even enter the current World Cup. At this year's Di Bradini Cup, Albaie was drawn in our group. After we had already secured qualification, we played our backups for 90 minutes and still beat them 2 goals to 1. They entered the Olympics, where they were defeated by Chiata and Thatius, failing to advance out of their group. They went on to win just 3 matches in this year's World Cup. Thus, the only success they have ever had in international soccer was at Esportiva's joke of a regional championship. Even the idiots at KPB admit that we are better than Albaie, as we are ranked 74th and they are ranked 127th. That's going to be an easy win.

Our second opponent will be the Felix Trolls, at the MilaneseDome in Wortana. The Trolls debuted at last year's Campionato Esportiva, where they picked up just a draw from 3 matches, failing to advance out of the group stage. We first met at the Di Bradini Cup last year when the Trolls were drawn in our group. After we defeated them 3 goals to nil on the final day of group stage, they somehow still advanced. We ran into them again in the semi-finals, where they took us to extra time, but Jan Beranek and Kobe Theodore scored critical goals and we beat them 3-1 after extra time. They would get defeated by Polar Islandstates in the 3rd place match, finishing in fourth place. Felix would fittingly fail to advance out of the group stage at last year's U-15 World Cup. However, they finished 9th in the Casaran stage at the BoF and eventually advanced to the finals. Against Aels, the match was tied 1-1 at the end of regulation and 2-2 AET, so it went to penalties. Aels would win on penalties 2 to 1 and the Trolls would be denied. In World Cup qualifying, they would fall just short of a playoff berth, faltering in the final days of qualifying. In the Cup of Harmony, they remained in contention until the final day of group stage, when the Inevitable Syndicate swatted the Trolls down. Their fortunes continued to be in a downward spiral this year. At the Di Bradini Cup, they did not advance, although they did finish ahead of the farm animals. The Trolls would also finish 6th of 7 in their group at that joke known as the Campionato Esportiva. At the Olympics, they picked up a mere draw, finishing at the bottom of their group. In this year's World Cup, the Trolls got their comeuppance, barely avoiding the bottom of their group with a pitiful performance. They won just a single match out of 10, against notoriously inept Omarios. Ranked 93rd in the world, the Felix Trolls are also ranked below the FFR in the current KPB poll, as well they should be. I'm surprised that they somehow made it in the top 100. They must have paid off somebody at KPB to get ranked that high.

Our 3rd opponent is Qazox, a nation that has been around forever, probably since World Cup 1. Qazox has only a single performance of note in WCC events. They were the runners-up at the Cup of Harmony 6 years ago, losing to the Archregimancy. They also co-hosted a BoF 9 years ago. More recently, Qazox finished 3rd in their World Cup qualifying group this year, behind the Archregimancy and German American States. The perennial Cup of Harmony participants are notorious for their inability to win the big one. While we can't take them lightly at Podvez Field, I feel confident that we can beat Qazox, the #56 national soccer team in the world right now according to KPB. I don't agree with that ranking, but I think we can beat them regardless.

Following an off-day, we will finish up our group stage at the Soccer Palace against Andossa Se Mitrin Vega. The runners-up at the BoF 41 years ago, Andossa Se Mitrin Vega have become one of the true powers of international soccer. They went on to host 2 BoFs and win 3 Cups of Harmony. They won the Cup of Harmony 14, 9 and 4 years ago, to tie Milchama and Newmanistan for the most Cup of Harmony championships. They co-hosted 2 World Cups, 5 and 8 years ago and have been a perennial top 3 finisher in the World Cup in recent years. They finished 3rd for the 3rd time in last year's World Cup, having also done so 5 and 7 years ago. 2 years ago, they achieved their best result, falling in the World Cup finals to Audioslavia. This year, they finished a distant 3rd behind Zwangzug and Maklohi Vai in qualifying, failing to advance to the World Cup. They come in as overwhelming favorites to win the Cup of Harmony, somehow still ranked 2nd in the world by KPB. The only other top 20 teams in the Cup of Harmony are last year's World Cup co-host Saugeais and Taeshan, last year's Cup of Harmony favorites who underperformed when it mattered. Although every sportsbook in the FFR has Andossa Se Mitrin Vega as overwhelming favorites to win it all, the most recent odds I've seen put them at 5-to-2, I have a feeling that they may feel letdown by their performance in World Cup qualifying and underperform at the CoH. If so, we're definitely ready and able to pick up the pieces.

Since everybody else in the FFR seems to be doing it, I'll pick which 16 national teams I believe will advance to the Round of 16. In Group A, I'm going with Taeshan and Hutt River, although that group seems pretty unpredictable. I was hoping Gregoryisgodistan would end up in the Free Republics because I'm sure a team known as the "Foot Slaves" would appreciate being freed from involuntary servitude under our laws, so it would be nice actually if they somehow ended up in the FFR. In Group B, I'm going with BoF champions Welsh Cowboy and Maklohi Vai. Although there are no easy wins in that group, I have to go with the nation that shares my desire to ban those stupid horses from international soccer. You don't come so close to eliminating the Archregimancy from the World Cup without being a good team. In Group C, I'm going with Astograth and Jeruselem, 2 long-time powers of international sports. Maybe New Sideburn's former colony of Brenecia can put up a fight in that group. In Group D, I'm also going with experience, as I'm taking Milchama and Filopines. Sangti will push one of those teams to the limit, however. In our group, I'm going with the FFR and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega. Those are the obvious choices. In Group F, I'm going to go with Mangolana and Super-Llamaland. The Llamas impressed me with their strong play during World Cup qualifying and they are definitely a better team than that joke of a team that Esportiva calls its regional champions. In Group G, I'm going to go with the Crystal Empire, since animals like them have an unfair advantage, and Jeru FC to advance. My picks in Group H are Saugeais and Vaugania. Saugeais is, of course, the 2nd best team in this field according to KPB and they are currently narrowly ahead of your National Soccer Team for 2nd place in the current odds. Vaugania is a good newcomer to international soccer, although not a newcomer to international sports, and I think they can get out of the first round.

As you can see, I'm not picking a single Esportivan nation to advance out of the Group Stage because Esportiva is a joke of a region, filled with loser nations. They don't even have a single qualifier for the World Cup. I can assure everybody reading this that our National Soccer Team will personally see to it that 2 of Esportiva's many Cup of Harmony entrants don't make it out of the group stage. We're going to take care of Albaie and then we're going to take care of the Felix Trolls, in more ways than 1. I should warn that reporter for Felix's newspaper, who will remain unnamed, that we don't appreciate defamation around these parts, so remember to be respectful and accurate about our National Soccer Team and our journalists while you're here, if you know what is good for you.

Rule Theriault is the manager for the FFR's National Soccer Team. He was the manager of Petrograd United. After a disappointing end to his tenure there, he entered a team in the 27th Di Bradini Cup on behalf of the Federation of Free Republics. His mostly unheralded team finished 2nd in that competition, losing to the Equestrian States in the final. He led the National Soccer Team to a 17th place finish in the 52nd Baptism of Fire and a 6th place finish in Group 20 during World Cup qualifying. In the Cup of Harmony, the National Soccer Team overcame having to play in the Equestrian States and came back to win their final 2 matches, including a shocking victory over Jeru FC, one of the true powers of international soccer. In the 28th Di Bradini Cup, he led the FFR right back to the finals, this time finishing on the right note. The Free Republics finished 3rd in their second World Cup qualifying attempt. With the Cup of Harmony taking place in the Free Republics this year, Theriault intends to win it.

[Andossa Se Mitrin Vega]

Group E

ASMV (#2)
Once again the Sea Dragons come limping into the Cup of Harmony licking their wounds following a complete meltdown in the World Cup Qualifiers. And so, just as in the Cup of Harmony 55 proceedings, the world ranked number two side enters this tournament with a ton of lofty expectations and a mountain-sized chip on their collective shoulders. And also as three-time Champions of this “bridesmaids” tournament the one real consolation would come only in the form of a record-breaking 4th CoH title.

The young squad finally seemed to gel and play at their expected level somewhat over the final four matches of the qualifiers. Now they just need to work on some consistency as well as the ability to finish. Manager Tanis Bazmud was upbeat as he confronted the media this morning. The defense has been solid as Harladar, Thokradul, and Xara have played at a high level, yet it is the play of Falcanian-born Gracchus Pack that has hopes building for a truly elite defensive unit once more. Pak is electric in his Up Back position and plays well when moving forward. Ar’ath, Xu, and Juu will need to become more polished as they attack. We need more multiple goal efforts to keep our defenders fresh as the opposition slacks down when trailing big. And of course there is Traian. The newly anointed national side keeper has struggled a bit at times and needs to learn how to focus for an entire match. Too many easy goals brought us here rather than the World Cup Proper.

The Sea Dragons will have a chance to check out their competition, albeit on the television as they enjoy a match day 1 bye. They will be paying special attention to the Albaie-Free Republics match as they get the lower seed on match day 2.

MD2 - Albaie (#127) – The 66+ thousand fans in Nichols Enterprises Stadium in Baseton, Amolotopia will be treated to the Sea Dragons debut match as they face the lowest ranked side in the group. Albaie plays an offensive style out of the rather strange 4-1-2-2-1 formation which hasn’t led to very much success or even offensive prowess. Yet they are a side on an uptick from the would-be contender region of Esportiva. We should easily wrap this match up early and treat the home fans, who are suffering from major political unrest, to some exciting football.

MD3 - Felix (#93) – From north to south we will be forced to travel on match day 3 as the tournament organizers obviously attempt to weary the Sea Dragons with the longish trip to Olden where we will face upstart Felix. One thing is certain in this one, we will be sick of the bright red kits before it is over. The Felixians play an offensive 4-2-3-1 that should manage a bit of pressure on the defense even with the lone dedicated forward Araboa taking more than his fair share of hard hits. If we play up to our level of expertise we should be just fine and the crowd of over 92 thousand will be treated to a second Sea Dragon win.

MD4 - Qazox (#56) – How many times have we faced these guys over the years? Too many to remember. Here we go again. This time the venue will be the beautiful, clear-domed stadium in Doranto. Easily a top-ten world stadium from an architectural standpoint it is a shame it was only designed to capacitate around 72 thousand. It is also a shame that it must bear the name “RayDome”. The name also qualifies for a world top ten – in atrocities. But Qazox will be there along with their attacking 5-3-2 formation which our Tidal Surge matches very well against. I still cant grasp how a squad that touts itself as extremely offensive puts five defenders on the pitch. Hmmm… We have to be careful not to drop points in this one if we truly have ambitions of a championship.

MD5 - Free Republics (#74) – The cohosts wait for what might just be the biggest match of the group stages in the Free Republics. And in another naming mangled mess we will face off at the Soccer Palace in Petrograd. This side will be dangerous as they will have nearly all of the 111 thousand or so fans clad in blue while screaming obscenities at us. This makes a four for four in facing offensive minded squads in this group stage. I guess we are the only ones who truly value defense. Yet their unique 3-1-2-1-3 formation matches our 3-2-2-1-2 very well. The keys to the match will be controlling Koch as he moves forward and forcing Bozek into bad positions when running the counter-attack. Bolton likes to come right down the pipe as he attacks. Thokradul will have ample chances to punish him if he doesn’t find another tactic.

Recap
All-in-all this could be a very interesting group as the four offensive sides battle each other. Hopefully the Sea Dragon’s form will be as good as advertised. If so we should be able to handle Group E easily and move on to the knockout stages.

Group A – We love Taeshan’s defensive prowess to take this group easily. But keep an eye on Eastfield Lodge. They are far overdue for a good run.

Group B – This is a two-horse group as Apox will battle Maklohi Vai for the top spot. We think the Vaians are on a roll.

Group c – The whores live up to expectations and take the group. Second is a bit of a guessing game. We’ll go with Barunia

Group D – Tough group. Of course we will be pulling for Milchama. We want them to have that record 4th CoH title in clear view before we smach their dreams and take it for ourselves. We like Sangti to come out as well.

Group F – Licen and Mangolana should rule this group of would-be contenders.

Group G – Jeru FC should be the class of the group. Whoever wins the Paradystopi/Estope match moves on as well.

Group H – Like ourselves, Taeshan and Apox, Saugeais is wondering just what the hell happened in the qualifiers. They should cruise through this group and they should drag New Sideburn along with them.

[Nouvel Ecosse]

McFadden's Dilemma
Or How Darren Came to Worship the Ball. An Interview with the Nouvel Ecosse Winger.
Interview by Jason Goodman.

Profile: Darren McFadden is Nouvel Ecosse's all-time leading goalscorer, with 21 goals in 36 appearances for his country. He is also a professional footballer for Brinemouth of New Sideburn, scoring 12 goals last season. Normally playing on the left wing, he can also appear in the centre. He left Endeavour Thistle in Nouvel Ecosse to play for Brinemouth.

Firstly, I better ask of your thoughts on the Group that Nouvel Ecosse have been drawn with for this Cup of Harmony. Could this be the toughest group for the team?

Any Group in the Cup of Harmony was always going to be a tough one. To be drawn with these guys though...phew. Vaugania have already proved their definite worth in our group in the World Cup Qualifying stages, and another game against them is not something I'm relishing, especially after that horror 6-3 defeat. Saugeais and the Northern Sunrise Islands are both exceptionally strong, hard-working teams, and again I feel as if a draw would be a job well done. And New Sideburn, for me anyway, will always be a really tough team to play, not only with all those fans who are normally cheering me on now jeering me back.

You mention the 6-3 loss to Vaugania as a horror match. Do you think Norrie Stewart deserved to be sacked after it?

Yes and no. Norrie did a lot for our team, he established us on the international footballing map, he introduced players like Curt [LaFleur] and Jorge [Sanchez], hell he even gave me the chance to kickstart my career once again. But the team had stagnated under him - we weren't improving. It has been a long time since I left Endeavour Thistle, but I know that tensions were still high between the side and Stewart after his dismissal of McCash [Whom Stewart banned from the team]. I think that it was the right choice to find a new manager - hell, I even think Norrie knows it was time to call it a day.

Pierre Mossebien was seen by many as a surprise but obvious choice for the role. What exactly do you think he brings to the table?

Aside from his moustache? *Laughs* Pierre was a friend of mine before he was appointed, having given me my first game at Endeavour all those years ago. He's got a great tactical mind, a mind like Plato or Kernaghan [A Nouvel Ecossian Mathematician]. He weighs up everything - the pros, the cons, the pro-cons, the con-pros. And he is always compiling lists and tables. I think it was the Edinburgh Herald that described him as "Football's answer to Pythagoras", and I don't think anybody else has put it better. He'll be an excellent choice, I'm sure of it.

Is Ron McCash ever likely to make another appearance for the National Team?

To put it simply, no. He is just to angry, to easily aggravated. Its not only on the pitch, its in the dressing room, on the flight home, in the bars. Many people claim that it is just the Edinburgh City players he doesn't get along with, but I certainly was never a friend of his, and I was much like a strike-partner to him. Sanchez [Reno] and I have a great partnership going, and with the addition of Leandro Cardoza on the other wing I think we have finally found an attack that gels and works. No offense to Leigh [Donovan], but he just wasn't performing. He needs more time to develop his game with his club side.

The introduction of Leandro Cardoza to the National Side halfway through that campaign was a breath of fresh air. Did you expect it, or was it a surprise to you?

Leandro has been captain of his club side in Taijan for a while now, but I think that this may have been a bit problematic. He hadn't established himself in the national team before moving abroad, and I don't think it was honestly worth Norrie's time making the long-trip over there to see him in action. Its a great shame, because he is such a great striker. I don't think anyone expected him to make such a big change to our style of play, but he forced that ball up the park. I'm actually a tad jealous, given that he has a better strikerate than I do.

How did you come to enjoy football?

It was always a big part of my life. Although he only played at amateur level, my dad was a very passionate footballer, and I inherited a lot of that passion when I came to play as a kid. He was there at every match, and still would go if it didn't mean a trip to New Sideburn every week. He has come over once or twice, and makes sure to be at every Nouvel Ecosse match, including the away games.

It is clear that he is one of your biggest inspirations football wise. Any others?

Actually, Norrie Stewart was one of my heroes, because back in the day he was terrific. I'd put him up there with the best, alongside your Curtis Mayhews and Donnie Crandanowitz. Guys we rarely hear of outside of Nouvel Ecosse, but guys that had big personalities. I wouldn't say that I have a big personality - I know that I can often be quiet, but I feel like I'm one of those guys that anybody and everybody can talk to. Those players were much like that.

Finally, do you think Nouvel Ecosse can qualify from this group?

I believe anything is possible, and so yes, I do believe we can qualify from this group. Will it be difficult? Certainly. But I don't think it will be impossible. With Cardoza, Reno and I shooting all cylinders and going out guns blazing I think we can well. The only thing stopping us is ourselves.

[Eastfield Lodge]

Familiar Territory

So here we are again, out of the World Cup and trying to better ourselves through the Cup of Harmony. This time, it is edition 58, hosted in Rushmore and a region called World Changers. The co-hosts, Falcus and Free Republics, will be overseeing the many teams that tried and failed to get through to the World Cup in qualification, yet played positively despite their failings and as such earning an invite to the prestigious Cup of Losers (as some call it).

Somehow, we made it after missing out on qualification due to not beating Mytannion, despite being perfect against all other teams. The groups were drawn at a closed location last night, and today the footballing multiverse is reeling from all the analysis being put in here. The importance of which is merely a fraction of that the World Cup draws, but hey, it's important analysis. Several big teams failed to make through qualifying, including, but not limited to: Taeshan, Apox, Astograth, Jeruselem, Milchama, AMSV, Qazox, Mangolana, Jeru FC, The Licentian Isles and Saugeais. Other notable names involved this time are the likes of Welsh Cowboy, German American States, Hutt River, Maklohi Vai, Filopines, Sangti, Silver Beach, Felix, Paradystopia and Northern Sunrise Islands.

So, it's obvious that the competition this time will be fierce, and it begins with 40 teams being whittled down to 16 via 8 groups of 5. 4 matches to determine the cream of each group and pit them against each in a series of knockout matches to determine the 33rd best team in the Multiverse (OK, that's a very debatable claim, as some teams that made it to World Cup are evidently worse than some of the ones here, but leave that for the comments section, savvy?).

Back to the groups, and we find ourselves in Group A, a group hosted by Falcus and officials courtesy of Free Republics. Joining us in this prestigious first group are Taeshan, Hutt River, Luzvimindia and Gregoryisgodistan. Let's now look at the schedule, with my comments on each game.

MD1: Eastfield Lodge vs. Taeshan
Great. First match is against the top seeds. Taeshan lost out on a place at the World Cup to Legalese in group 27 by virtue of having a worse goal difference, but getting 25 points in the process. We have met them before, with the first competitive meeting between the two coming in qualifying stage at World Cup 59. There, we drew 2-2 at them, with the away leg finishing 1-1. And courtesy of a last matchday bye, Taeshan knocked us out of the playoff spot in that group. Since then, we have played each other twice in Copa Rushmoris: in CR14, on Taeshani turf, we lost 1-0 in the quarter-finals and in CR15, we drew 0-0 in the Casaran stage. In the last Cup of Harmony, they were the highest ranked team there, but fell at the Round of 16. Their ultra defensive style compared to our attacking style means that this match will largely be spent inside the Taeshan half on the pitch. But with a massive reliance on counter-attacks to get goals, our defence needs to be on top form if we want a chance to win. The 20th ranked team, and the best ranked team in this tournament, will be looking to go all the way this time, and I don't see us winning this one. A draw perhaps, but I'm leaning towards a loss.

MD2: EL vs. Gregoryisgodistan
Those heretics in Gregoryisgodistan are next up. Ranked 112th, we've never played this team before, but they're not to be taken lightly. They managed 10 points in five games in their BoF group, being eliminated with the joint highest point total of any third placed team. They went on to finish a respectable third in their qualifying group with 16 points. Oddly, their people have some of the longest and weirdest "names" I have ever seen, so good luck to any commentators. Anyways, they play defensively, with a 4-4-2 formation, but we should be able to beat them. We'll need to if we want to advance.

MD3: Bye
I suppose it's better than the last matchday byes we are renowned for attracting.

MD4: EL vs. Luzvimindia
Another nation we've barely heard of, and also one of more annoying to pronounce correctly, we have 96th ranked Luzvimindia. They made their debut in the Casaran style BoF 52, where they gained 10 points in the Casaran stage to finish 8th, before losing to Felix 9-8 on penalties (ouch!) in the Ro16. They went on to finish 7th in their rather tough WC65Q group with 20 points, and this qualifying cycle they finished 3rd with 16 points. Yet another defence-minded team, their 4-3-2-1/4-5-1 formations will be hard to break down by virtue of sheer numbers of players behind the ball. But again, I'm going to call a close win.

MD5: EL vs. Hutt River
Ah yes, the decider. The one that will actually determine whether we advance or not. Rankings wise, we have a significant edge on them, 25 places between us, but history wise, it's bends the other way, with Hutt River having a 1-1-0 record against us, all from World Cup 62 where they beat us 2-0 and then drew 1-1 on our turf. More recently, we smashed them 3-0 in the Ro16 of Beach Cup IX, but that's elsewhere. This cycle, they finished third in their group with 17 points. The only other attack minded team in this group, they play a weird 4-1-1-2-2 formation, with very advanced wingers, so we'll have to be wary of counter-attacks down those flanks. As I said, this will almost definitely be the decider for who gets that second spot in the knockout rounds.

So where do I see us after four matches? Well, if we can pull a point from Taeshan and Hutt River don't, and we beat the bottom two teams in the group, then we get at least that assurance of advancing with a draw against Hutt River. However, it won't be easy to do.

What about the other groups? Well, let's see:

Group B: Apox should advance from this group easily. As for who goes second, it should be Maklohi Vai, but with BoF champions Welsh Cowboy and almost surprise WC qualifiers German American States also fighting for that second spot, don't rule out the Vaians being eliminated.

Group C: Jeruselem top and Astograth second. Easy on paper.

Group D: Milchama should top, or at least advance. Filopines will need to be wary of Sangti's potential challenge, but they should advance as well.

Group E: Another tough group. The woefully off-form ASMV, Qazox, Felix and co-hosts Free Republics all battling for two spots. I think ASMV will advance, maybe not top though. As for the second qualifier, my guess is Qazox, but it will be too close to call.

Group F: The Licentian Isles top, and Mangolana and Super-Llamaland will be fighting for that second place; another one too close to call.

Group G: Jeru FC top, Paradystopia second.

Group H: Saugeais top, and New Sideburn and Northern Sunrise Islands is another one that's too close to call for second place.

So there you have it, my summary of the other groups, and my analysis of our group. I'm not going to look at the overall picture, because rankings wise, Taeshan should win overall. I said that last time, and I was proven well wrong.

This is Shabeen Ahmad III, signing off.

[Maklohi Vai]

OOC: Just as a heads up for anyone who's planning on listening, it's over 900016 minutes, so budget that time. Danke.

Lumako Kurukapai with a Cup of Harmony Preview

[Chiata]

(After MD 10 of WC 66)

There was a dark veil over the away locker room in Thatius. The occupants, Chiatans, had their heads held low in disappointment. Coach Fillmont had set a goal, an easy goal, to get the number three spot in group 23. Yet the Suns had failed to even do that. Chiata finished number four in group 23 after having the number three spot for most of the qualifying. Coach Fillmont entered the room.

Coach Fillmont- I know we didn't make our goal. We didn't get the third spot in our group, but we must look on the bright side of things. Last World Cup, we finished 9th in our group with a record of 2-4-12 and only scoring seven goals. This World Cup, we finished fourth in our group with a record of 5-0-5 and scoring fourteen goals. We almost doubled our performance for the better. Let us not think of the past, but let us dive into the future. We cannot dwell on our mistakes we made this cup, we must forget it, move on, and get better. Let me ask you a question. Does the sun ever stop shining because it doesn't feel good?

Players- No.

Coach Fillmont- Does the sun stop shining because it lost a match?

Players- No!

Coach Fillmont- Does the sun stop shining when it is one place behind where it wanted to be?

Players- NO!

Coach Fillmont- That's right! The sun never stops shining! Rank is just a number! Be that sun! Continue to shine! Be a Chiata Sun!

Players- YEAH!

Coach Fillmont- See you at the Cup of Harmony.

[German American States]

Group Draw and Group Stage Preview
OOC: Put the volume up sort of high, I was an idiot and held the mic far away from my face

[San Jose Guayabal]

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The Message who fill in joy to an entire nation

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After the bitter 2-1 defeat against Darmen (In a game who SJG played with a high level) as visitor, SJG and its fans believed that the process would go down to our national team or better known as "La Selecta SJG" or as "Chaparreros" by the alcoholic beverage par excellence and yet, SJG's national drink, the Chaparro. all was well for a first experience, get 3 wins, 2 away, but one home, something not found favor with the fans, but spite of that, never stop supporting the feeling that you can not stop at that "conscious and consistent Madness" that many confuse as fanaticism, but is just plain love for the homeland.

After this alleged "inactivity", came a very motivating and encouraging message from the organizers of the CoH 58, a message filled with joy and happiness, an invitation to participate in this prestigious tournament which houses major nations by A or B therefore not qualified for the WC, is that SJG was fortunate to be invited, something that everyone accept with great joy, after the news spread like wildfire throughout SJG, in less than 45 minutes, people erupted in joy over the nation, and had people buying plane tickets to attend the world competition, after that, we calculated an estimated 15,000 to 22,000 people will travel to Falcus by various means.

The NT of SJG prepared to leave for his new adventure Falcus in global, but before leaving, the captain, and coach Matías Passarelli: Milos Miljanic gave statements.

-Passarelli: Oh my God, do not leave my amazement, I could not imagine at all this, but thank God they gave, we're coming with everything, we will play and we will succeed, SJG come with arms raised and all people shout "Pum pum Guaya" are sure we will give all out.

-Miljanic: Well, to be honest I was not expecting it, but God made that the organizers invited us, we're coming with the spirits high, we humbly, we know that the opponents are very tough, but we're playing, we are eleven against eleven and we are aware that only one will prevail, and God forbid that one, will be SJG, Ura!, ura! ura!.

With this, SJG is prepared to put up our nation and hopefully get a win in order to grow more and more.

From the SJG National Airport in Llano Grande, I'm Mauricio Perla.

[Gregoryisgodistan]

OOC: Very little of Lord Almighty Gregory's speech is supposed to be true IC. However, the people of Gregoryisgodistan believe all of it. The plan to destroy copies of The Saint is real, though. TG me if you're unsure what is true IC and what Lord Almighty Gregory claims is true but isn't.

"Greetings, Gregoryisgodistan. My name is State Assistant Staffer Slave 283824HDHA and it is my utmost pleasure to announce that Lord Almighty Gregory, His Godliness, His Awesomeness, The Deity of the Multiverse and Dear Leader of Gregoryisgodistan, is about to speak. But first, I ask that everyone please rise for the national anthem of Gregoryisgodistan, which will by played by the National Supreme Band."

Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
We Praise You We Worship You
Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
Master of Gruel and Prune Juice
He Gives Us Gruel And Prune Juice Yes
We Worship Him as a Deity and Bow Down To Him Whenever We See Him
On TV or In Person or In Statue
Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
We Love You We Worship You
Gregory Gregory Lord Almighty
A million praises unto you
Gregory Gregory Is Immortal
He Considers Us His Little Playthings
A term He Only Uses In Jest Because He Has Infinite Mercy for Us All
Gregory Gregory We Adore Thee
We Bow Down To Thee In Praise
Thou Art More Smart Than Sir Einstein So We Say "Einstein Who?"
Gregory Gregory Master of Slave Labor
We Are All Your Slaves in Heart
Some Of Us Are Slaves to this Nation
Some of Us Just Wish We Were
Gregory Gregory Inventor of the Solar Bomb
Which We Use to Vanqiush Our Enemies
Gregory Gregory Master of Everything
Thou Art Lord and Thou Art God
Gregory Gregory You Wrote This Song
Our Favorite Song In The Entire World
We Sing it Every Hour on The Hour
Like Clockwork We Praise your Lordship
Gregory Gregory We Bow Down Again
We Fly This Flag Outside Our Home
Gregory Gregory We Have Shrines in Our Homes
In Our Shops and Everywhere
Gregory Gregory We Worship You Day and Night
In Our Dreams We even Worship You
Gregory Gregory This is the Only Song We Sing!”

"Now, here to speak, is Lord Almighty Gregory!"

"Thank you, my good slave, sir. There is a reason you were selected as Slave of the Month for September. I speak to you tonight to wish our national soccer team luck in their Cup of Harmony performance. This afternoon, the Foot Slaves departed from Lord Almighty Gregory International Airport to Falcus, where they will compete in Group A. I wish them luck in what will surely be a very tough group. I encourage them to play their hardest and not make any humiliating mistakes that embarrass the nation. We all know which traitor I'm referring to, and he has paid for his sins. Let there be no more sinners! No more sinners! You know the consequences if you betray your nation! Do not do so! Remain loyal and strong! Be loyal and strong and you shall be rewarded, for I am the Lord Your God!

"Additionally, many have expressed concern that we our sending our soccer team to a liberal, sin-loving nation like Falcus. In Falcus, such devilish, sinful items like bicycles, pizza, and cheese are available readily. I assure you our team will have none of these temptations. They will be staying in a hotel where all the rooms have been booked by our National Association, and all the staff have been trained to ensure they do not provide our nationals with any sinful items.

"Furthermore, should we wind up playing in the Free Republics in later rounds, I wish to address concerns about "The Saint", the so-called holy book of Saintland, which is in association with Free Republics. 'The Saint' is a pack of lies! It is the work of the devil! This so called 'Jesus' is not a god, he is a figment of King Paulus's delusional imagination! King Paulus is the devil! His filth has already spread into the Free Republics and it must spread no further! In the event that our team makes it to the Free Republics, I have instructed them to buy up as many Saints as they can, and then set fire to them in the parking lot of the team hotel. Funds will be appropriated for that purpose should we wind up playing there. We must purge this filth from existence. It is bad enough that it spread across national lines to Free Republics. We must not let it spread further. Down with this filth. Down with this filth! I am the Lord your God! Not Jesus! Not anyone else mentioned in The Saint! The world is 2,013 years old! I created it on November 1, 0000! For I am the Lord Your God! Do not forget that!

"In just under a month, it will be Creation Day, celebrating the 2013th anniversary of the multiverse, which I the Lord Your God created. Do not forget that, no matter what 'The Saint' tells you. It is full of sin! It must be destroyed! The Soccer Team shall make it to Free Republics for a later round, and when we do, we will destroy as many copies of 'The Saint' as possible! So cheer on your Foot Slaves, cheer them on to Free Republics! For I am the Lord Your God! I am the Lord Your God! The Saint is full of lies! The Saint is full of lies!

"Finally, I would like to turn the subject to our beloved Bat Slaves baseball team, who is 2-1. Notably absent from the tournament is that idiot nation of Costa Luna, which I destroyed. I am the Lord Your God, and I do not tolerate nations who cheat at baseball, as the Costa Lunian team did by hiring intelligent, professional ringers from outside their nation to play on the national team during the last tournament. They went to the semifinals. However, then the ringers realized the Costa Lunians were so stupid, they were paying them with bricks with money signs on it, thinking it was money. So they quit. And guess what? COSTA LUNA LOST! They lost for they are idiots! And for the sin of stupidity, the sin of cheating, the sin of imposing sanctions against my glorious nation, and the sin of blaspheme against my holy name, I have destroyed them. They are gone, no more to play baseball or anything else. The only Costa Lunians anymore are those on that TV show, 'Costa Lunians Say the Darndest Things'. I hear that tomorrow night, they're running a new episode where Doybert looks in a mirror and thinks he has a clone, so he cries and tries to kill the clone, but it only appears when he looks in the mirror. Also, he's stupid and thinks that breaking a mirror will turn him into a cauliflower, so he does not want to do that! But eventually, he punches the "clone" and the mirror breaks, so he consults a Costa Lunian who calls himself a man of God, though he most certainly does not worship me. This false prophet advises Doybert to do a series of ridiculous tasks, like farting in a poodle's face and singing a song about frogs while naked in the middle of the water, to avoid being cursed into a cauliflower. It's a good episode. I know, for I am the Lord Your God. I encourage everyone to watch it! I am the Lord Your God, who destroyed the sinning, stupid nation of Costa Luna. I am eternal!

"To all in Gregoryisgodistan, I wish you a very good evening. Our beloved team's first game is Saturday night as they take on Eastfield Lodge. This team claims to have time travel ability, but we know better, right? Only the Lord Almighty can transcend time. They are not the Lord Almighty! I am Lord Almighty! Don't ever forget that no matter what those blasphemers and false gods from Eastfield Lodge tell you. We shall prevail over those sinners! I guarantee it! Sinners never prosper! Good night!"

[Jeru FC]

Princess Katy and Jeru FC play Dream Lord

Katy: Say, have you played any football at all???
DL: No, not yet
Katy: What's wrong with you now?
DL: Nothing
Katy: Well, here's you chance right here.
DL: If I get selected

Katy: Go annoy someone else I have work to do
DL: I have inside information on the team
Katy: Well, that could be useful
DL: But it's not free
Katy: I'm not giving you sexual favours
DL: Bugger

Katy: I'm not that slutty
DL: Say, I love the new single
Katy: Well, I'm glad I have fans
DL: Love the hot women
Katy: A grub only dates hot women
DL: Wish I was like that

Katy: Well that song isn't about you
DL: Who is about?
Katy: It's not one person
DL: I aspire to be like that
Katy: But the hot women aren't coming?
DL: That's the problem

Katy: You're not good looking enough
DL: Well that's a start, no one tells me stuff like that
Katy: I'm just honest
DL: Don't want ugly kids?
Katy: I sure don't
DL: If you want help, I'll be there

Katy: Err, thanks
DL: All boys will be happy to help
Katy: I'll ask if I want help
DL: I hope there's not a queue
Katy: There's queue alright
DL: We'll do it for free

Katy: As they say, the best things in life are free
DL: Yep
Katy: Now, I have work to do

[Super-Llamaland]

Group F
Super-Llamaland
Åsløtten-Bëðerbørg så Česky
Callumackbar
Mangolana
The Licentian Isles

"Hey, and welcome to Soccer with Spiff with ME, Dale "Spiff" Spiffton! So, here's the preview!"

The Licentian Isles, Ranked 38

The Licentian Isles was the closest to qualifying in this group, tying for first with a healthy twenty-two points. However, the Holy Empire edged them out of Group 14 supermacy by tiebreak, so they're a favorite to win the group.

Mangolana, Ranked 41

Mangolana was good for second with a good 22 points in Group 15. Unfortunately, their two losses were to the undefeated nation of Wight, which earned a perfect thirty-point record. Still, 22 is better than the 20 of the Tigers.

Super-Llamaland, Ranked 59

There's the Tigers, of course, with a HUGE jump in the rankings from ninetieth to fifty-ninth after placing second in Group 29 to top-twenty seeded Gyatso-Kai. We're an obvious dark horse, not too far behind the one-two of Licentian Isles and Mangolana.

Åsløtten-Bëðerbørg så Česky, Ranked 106

Åsløtten-Bëðerbørg så Česky finished a distant fourth in Group 3 with fifteen points, nine behind champion Sicoutimont. They shouldn't pose too much of a challenge for the Tigers and other favorites.

Callumackbar, UR

The least experienced (WC-wise) of the bunch, Callumackbar still has no rank as far as I can tell. In Group 30, they managed thirteen points, but that was ten too little as Farfadillis won the group.

PREDICTION (for rankings): THESE ARE NOT ACCURATE AT ALL

1. The Licentian Isles: 13 Points
2. Mangolana: 12 Points
3. Super-Llamaland: 10 Points
4. Callumackbar: 6 Points
5. Åsløtten-Bëðerbørg så Česky: 4 Points