Nepharan Domestic Newswire - the Zenith

by **Nephara** » Fri Feb 06, 2015 3:41 am

Vermillion Rage grab Hills by the throat and smash them repeatedly into the ground. Two from top scorer Havelund, one from Bazinho, a fourth from Gazzincha behind them, they simply look unstoppable while simultaneously looking worse on paper than just about any team in the top ten. The Quakers have had a rough season so far - one of four midtable teams sitting on 50 points before kickoff, they show a lot of spirit, leading 1-0 against Treason thanks to Rettinger until Treason mount a comeback in the last twenty. Kieron Riordan keeps the scoreline down, but can’t do enough - Quinn’s just unstoppable, and nets a headed brace.

Chenoworth hold out against a constant Chariots offensive - a 1-0 defeat would be too much, given the away goal - and manage the 0-0 draw after 90 minutes of torture for Violence fans. They must be feeling better than Chatswood, though - needing to win, any win, at home against their local rivals, they’re turned over comprehensively. 4-0, in fact, though you’d suspect Chatswood No. 1 Alhambra Shrike would have made a couple of those saves. Jayce Pence, for her (rare) part, excelled. Newrook produced a battling performance to beat Southfell, playing the sort of football that got them promoted for a 3-1 aggregate win. City, meanwhile, sponged up pressure away because they expected to attack at home. Well, as it happened, Parrhesia attacked away, too, and were better at it - Monti and Sebastian getting the goals.

Stanislav Navratil scores the goal of the season - a leisurely trot forward to get onto the end of a headed clearance before an inexplicable scissor-kick from the 32-year old smashes past a stranded Hargrave from the edge of the penalty area (the young goalkeeper winning a place in the first team over Veldt of late, not that it makes much difference). It is, perhaps, a bit wasted on Corvette Maulers, and a very ordinary Walker header is enough anyway. Sabrefell Moths come to Goodfeather FC, two teams with disappointing seasons so far, and, well, the Moths simply shatter their opponents. Literally, in Dana Kendall’s case - she suffers a bad ankle injury to a late Martell challenge that earns a caution - but more metaphorically with regards to the four goals. Sasha Christener, the rightback, scores the last after assisting twice before that, reinforcig that it’s been Kellard, Martell and Christener who have been the highlights of a dismal year.

Kurtis Quinn gets ahead of his man, turns and slashes the ball past the Sokojiwa Dosi goalkeeper. That goal, in the 29th minute, is the sole upside of a dark day for Nepharim football, as Treason’s hopes of victory in the Champion’s Cup are fairly conclusively eaten.

A Treason side rather muted by their staggeringly heavy defeat can only put the one goal past Corvette Maulers in the Gauntlet. Corvette, incidentally, have failed to find a new manager of any repute. Or, according to their PR, have totally and definitely voluntarily decided Foxglove’s assistant Eloise Twist would be caretaker manager until the end of the season, as she is the best manager to steer them clear of relegation. Clearly. Either way, Chenoworth Rovers, who were so stalwart so often against high-tier teams throughout the season, get thumped 5-1 by Vermillion.

It’s more spirited, at least, but not exactly technical. Treason make several changes and still get turned over 3-0, and while Jaspenner looks lively going forward (Quinn might as well rest in the pointless, unwinnable game) she can’t chalk up a consolation goal. The Stags, then, are the last team to crash out of UICA - but they’ll be looking to vent their frustrations on the Premiership.

Brinemouth are so bad right now. Their papier mache defence leaves them winless in ten - ten! - league matches, and Garrotte is brittle post-match. “There has to come a point at which you have to blame the players,” says the manager, who has constantly blamed the players throughout the season rather than her own tactics. “So that’s done. Next match we go and beat Leichhardt. That is all there is to it.” Maximum City deserve credit, however, for a strong all-round performance that simply, aside from one killer ball from Mathias that opened up Wintergren on goal, choked Brinemouth out of the game. Treason brush aside Chatswood away, simply defending so solidly that Chatswood only manage a single shot on target. And Vermillion Rage, stunningly, are destroyed by the Wanderers. Yes, Vermillion Rage, the ones in the title race, fresh off a . Crisisbless United have had a horrible run of form, capped off by a 7-1 annihilation at home at the hands of the Ferrymen. It’s their fourth loss in a row, but the very nature of the defeat puts a sour note on what had been a pretty damn good season to that point. All this, and Crisisbless’ very tidy 2-0 victory over Sabrefell Athletic might somewhat get overlooked - but goals from the Apox Connection, Keast and St. Cleer, might well prove pivotal in determining the exact order of the top five.

As promised, Brinemouth pick Leichhardt apart, though the Canaries’ characteristically solid defence holds the Dockers back for the first half. Felmen has a couple of great saves in him, but the better side wins, and maybe the Dockers might just get back into this season… particularly since the Rage draw against Coret Hawks, Newrook City sensationally holds Treason away from home, finding a new hero in the form of Maxine Lynwood, Crisisbless is drawn 1-1 by Parrhesia. Everything’s still open in the top five, still very much to play for - increasingly less so in the bottom four, but the continued slump of Extreme Hills, who have one point in eight games, gives them hope. Also giving them hope is a spat between the NFA and the Football Federation of Integristan - Nepharim officials see that they’ve hit the mainstream, want an all-Nepharim top flight, and will allow the Integristani teams (Integabad and Leopolis, both Premiership sides ten years ago but in the First and Second Divisions now) from the second tier down but not to be promoted. The Panthers, by chance, are in fact making a promotion push. Much like how 21st-placed Leopolis’ Premiership stay was extended a year by administration-suffering Vermillion finishing second, an interesting role reversal and another sign of Nephara’s gradual but firm break from Serenes.

Ramsey will be furious to have conceded two cheeky goals on the break to Rovers, who dropped the out-of-form Rogalski to inject more pace into the front line. It worked, with Sienna Lotus and Diana Thrushell both finding space where it seemed like it was none, and Treason were honestly somewhat lucky to escape with a draw - Pence was called upon for an exceptional save when Damkjaer’s curling shot from 22 yards nearly snuck in the top left corner. Newrook, meanwhile, can’t break down Parrhesia - any talk of backup goalkeepers is gone for Newrook despite Mackan’s good performances to this point, they want to win this Cup more than anything in the world. Even relegation? journalists ask Rivett. “Even relegation. We can always get back to the top flight, but these sorts of chances rarely strike twice.” But they need to win at the Anchorwright Arena.

If the Hounds weren’t in relegation form before, they are now - a 2-1 defeat to Leichhardt the latest indignity, as they press and press all game but can’t beat the direct option on the break. Particularly with draws for Newrook and Chenoworth, though Corvette look basically gone by this point. Rook Colfer is all smiles as his team peg back Sabrefell Athletic 4-2, thanks largely to his brace. “I was a Moths fan growing up as a kid, like basically everyone in West Sabrefell,” he told the press afterwards. “So, yeah, I won’t deny it felt good.” That defeat is a major setback for Athletic, but a little less disastrous in the wake of a Crisisbless draw to a Maximum Rovers side that has been stronger than just about anyone expected. Yet again, it’s Harper giving them the X-factor, simply too cunning for young Brigid Kestrel throughout the night, and yet another player of the match performance with a goal and assist for Drake.

AFC Treason wanted to win every tournament. AFC Treason lost in the Champions Cup. AFC Treason came home and were very disappointed to find Vermillion Rage were pretending they were a real title contender. AFC Treason kicked the living shit out of them. Dominant performances throughout the first half saw them go into the break 2-1, but then Underwood was finally given a yellow card for his harsh treatment of Acosta. He had to put his foot off the gas a little, and it gave Acosta the opening he needed to play a pivotal part in the four Treason goals to follow. By the end of the match, Schneider scoring with the last kick of the match, Russ Beresford had dived to try and save it and wasn’t feeling like getting back up, having to be dragged back to his feet by Dalglish and Jonas-Anderson to limp off to the tunnel, the cheering of the Gauntlet’s supporters ringing in their ears. A demoralising defeat for Vermillion, a statement of intent for Treason.

One point out of a potential 33 for Extreme Hills now, who must surely be looking over their shoulder with a confident Newrook win. “I’ve always said a strong Cup run will inspire us to do well in the league,” said Newrook manager Jayce Rivett, “and while the boost has come a little later than I’d have liked, it’s still giving us a good chance of getting out of this league.” Treason, meanwhile, do not even slightly let up the pace as they brutalise Southfell United. 34-year old Dale Brightley likes to play at a slow tempo these days. 19-year old Tanith Rainsford, set to mark/destroy him, did not appreciate this, and repeatedly cut off the passes meant for him, took the ball out from under his legs, or flat-out tackled him before distributing accurately from deep. She’s done exceptionally of late, and with Acosta looking weary after people keep. Kicking. Him. Might just start against Athletic, too. “Next match is my 20th birthday,” said Rainsford after the match with a bashful grin. “Nice present to go on and get a win for the team, eh?”

Well, Rainsford might not have gotten more than 12 minutes on the pitch, but Acosta and Flaccus moved directly against Cilic and Sarracena. It was a rough, tight contest, Athletic given many chances but the back four of Treason and especially Russ Miller, responsible for a double-save from both Bray’s boots in the space of two seconds, as well as a point-blank save from Reagan’s header (enabled, of course, by a fantastic Sarracena free kick) and the Stags put their own chance away without hesitation, Quinn glancing a header past Seward. Vermillion slip again, to a Daniella Strauss goal, while Brinemouth sensationally drag themselves into the headlines (for the right reasons, for once!) with a 3-0 thrashing of Crisisbless. Norgen finally rediscovers some of his old form with a brace, Mathias striking a third from midfield in off the post, and Crisisbless now need Treason to slip up twice in the last three games if they’re to win the title.

It’s closer run than they would’ve liked, but Treason this time do a proper job on Chenoworth. Closer to it, at any rate - Quinn’s goal is cancelled out by Sphinx North’s volley, but away goals still clinch it and they never look like conceding a second. Parrhesia and Newrook, meanwhile, can’t decide it over 210 minutes, so it goes to penalties. All of the first ten hit. But Hennessey saves from Blanchard, Brennan tips Brun’s over the bar, Brenecian defender Bruce Daunton goes for power over accuracy and barely manages to keep it on target. Anna Sullivan, the seventh Saint to step up, is clearly overwrought by emotion - her penalty is poor, and Brennan punches it away before punching the air, because Newrook City are going to the Farham Arena!

It wasn’t so long ago that Corvette inexplicably routed Brinemouth 5-1 the match after the Dockers won the title. It was cited as an example of overconfidence from a team without history. None of that now - for one, Brinemouth have nothing to feel confident about, and for another, Corvette can’t really score from anyone not named Daniel Canady. He nets a late consolation and doesn’t even really bother celebrating beyond some applause for the long-suffering fans - the damage has already been done, Corvette are down 4-1. Leichhardt have defended solidly all season, but Coret have done the same while actually scoring, and a 1-0 defeat puts the Canaries under intense pressure. The Rage simply can’t break through against North Laithland, and while Bazinho haunts the club who let him go on a free, it’s a late and probably undeserved equaliser.

It’s not official, but the swing of goal difference it would take is frankly alarming - Maximum Rovers’ 2-0 defeat all but wins the title for the Stags, who will get the chance to get the trophy in front of their own fans against Leichhardt. Also significant are defeats to Brinemouth - sunk by an Essex double by a Chenoworth side that have been fantastic against those top-level teams - and Maximum City - beaten by Vermillion Rage - and that makes things far more open for Chatswood, who beat a dead Mauler 4-1. Leichhardt’s defeat to the Chariots leaves them hanging onto a thread thanks to The Integabad Technicality. A lot is up in the air for the final match...

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                       P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 AFC Treason               45  27  11   7  87  41  +46  92  CC
  2 Crisisbless               45  26  11   8  81  48  +33  89  CC
  3 Vermillion Rage           45  25   8  12  71  52  +19  83  GC
  4 Sabrefell Athletic        45  24  10  11  72  46  +26  82  GC
  5 Maximum City              45  23   8  14  59  40  +19  77
  6 Chatswood                 45  21  13  11  70  48  +22  76
  7 Brinemouth                45  23   6  16  73  49  +24  75
  8 Maximum Rovers            45  19  17   9  63  49  +14  74
  9 Southfell United          45  19  12  14  67  52  +15  69
 10 North Laithland           45  19  12  14  53  48   +5  69
 11 Sabrefell Moths           45  18  12  15  62  49  +13  66
 12 Violence Chariots         45  17  14  14  59  46  +13  65
 13 Raven River               45  15  15  15  57  52   +5  60
 14 Goodfeather FC            45  16  11  18  57  55   +2  59
 15 Vermillion Wanderers      45  17   6  22  56  70  -14  57
 16 Chenoworth Rovers         45  14  13  18  35  49  -14  55
 17 Crisisbless United        45  13  13  19  52  82  -30  52
 18 Coret Hawks               45  11  18  16  42  50   -8  51
 19 Parrhesia United          45  11  14  20  48  65  -17  47
 20 Extreme Hills             45  11  10  24  46  82  -36  43
 21 Newrook City              45  10  11  24  43  77  -34  41
 22 Leichhardt                45  10   8  27  33  57  -24  38
 23 Chenoworth Harriers       45   6  15  24  37  67  -30  33  R
 24 Corvette Maulers          45   5  12  28  43  92  -49  27  R

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Cranequin Wanderers      45  26  12   7  78  32  +46  90  P
  2 Cranequin City           45  24  12   9  60  34  +26  84  P
  3 South Laithland          45  23  13   9  71  43  +28  82
  4 AFC Integabad            45  21  17   7  53  30  +23  80
  5 Bishop                   45  21  16   8  70  42  +28  79
  6 AFC Serpentine           45  23   7  15  71  58  +13  76
  7 West Brinemouth          45  20  13  12  43  32  +11  73
  8 Ritter Town              45  21   9  15  71  64   +7  72
  9 Rochford                 45  20   8  17  50  39  +11  68
 10 Starling                 45  17  12  16  78  56  +22  63
 11 Creed United             45  18   9  18  58  59   -1  63
 12 Sheridan                 45  16  14  15  44  47   -3  62
 13 Iron City                45  16  13  16  42  39   +3  61
 14 Cypher Town              45  16  13  16  55  56   -1  61
 15 Sutcroft                 45  16  10  19  50  54   -4  58
 16 Martella Jazz            45  17   7  21  63  74  -11  58
 17 Dross Rovers             45  14  13  18  46  56  -10  55
 18 AFC Shale                45  12  15  18  30  49  -19  51
 19 Mainstream Fist          45  13   9  23  45  74  -29  48
 20 Iron United              45  10  14  21  44  59  -15  44
 21 West Hook                45  11  10  24  38  52  -14  43
 22 South Parrhesia          45  10  10  25  44  76  -32  40  R
 23 Franchise FC             45  10  10  25  36  71  -35  40  R
 24 Strephonage              45   7  10  28  31  75  -44  31  R

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Locksley                     45  28  11   6  95  48  +47  95  P
  2 Ox River United              45  25  11   9  60  36  +24  86  P
  3 East Laithland Harriers      45  21  12  12  68  47  +21  75
  4 Armstrong                    45  19  18   8  61  41  +20  75
  5 Boleyn Town                  45  20  15  10  57  44  +13  75
  6 Brookford Otters             45  20  12  13  50  39  +11  72
  7 North Sabrefell              45  20  10  15  75  57  +18  70
  8 Rhagant Schadenfreude        45  17  18  10  45  33  +12  69
  9 Coret Rovers                 45  19  12  14  68  59   +9  69
 10 Leopolis Hatemongers         45  18  14  13  57  49   +8  68
 11 Iberia Chenoworth            45  18  14  13  61  62   -1  68
 12 Hackett                      45  15  20  10  65  51  +14  65
 13 Belgrave                     45  16  14  15  50  48   +2  62
 14 Kensey Town                  45  16  13  16  61  67   -6  61
 15 Crossroads Town              45  16  11  18  54  52   +2  59
 16 Gridlock Rovers              45  16   8  21  59  68   -9  56
 17 Senway Town                  45  13  13  19  53  72  -19  52
 18 Dubstep Rangers              45  10  15  20  55  75  -20  45
 19 Rushe United                 45  11  11  23  54  73  -19  44
 20 Crisisbless Athletic         45   6  23  16  40  50  -10  41
 21 Long Lake                    45   8  15  22  26  60  -34  39
 22 Project +90                  45   8  14  23  49  69  -20  38  R
 23 Falston Town                 45   6  18  21  41  73  -32  36  R
 24 Fenland Albion               45   7  12  26  37  68  -31  33  R

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Masculine Town         45  27  11   7  82  36  +46  92  P
  2 North Dubstep          45  25   9  11  75  42  +33  84  P
  3 Corby Hubris           45  24  12   9  62  40  +22  84  P
  4 Chaker Town            45  23  12  10  64  38  +26  81
  5 Gridlock East          45  23  11  11  77  51  +26  80
  6 Brindleton             45  22  14   9  72  47  +25  80
  7 Brookway Town          45  21  12  12  71  50  +21  75
  8 Sutcroft Athletic      45  18  15  12  50  40  +10  69
  9 Forge Carpenters       45  20   8  17  50  43   +7  68
 10 Gridlock               45  17  13  15  48  44   +4  64
 11 Bodkin Road            45  17  12  16  63  62   +1  63
 12 Diamondqueen           45  16  14  15  56  46  +10  62
 13 South Brill            45  16  12  17  63  57   +6  60
 14 Blaze                  45  17   8  20  81  79   +2  59
 15 Vermillion Spite       45  15  14  16  56  66  -10  59
 16 FC United              45  16   9  20  51  58   -7  57
 17 Stonegrave             45  10  21  14  34  43   -9  51
 18 Downsparrow            45  13   9  23  43  67  -24  48
 19 Bellamy                45  12  10  23  44  62  -18  46
 20 Ringway                45  13   7  25  39  61  -22  46
 21 The Strongest          45  11  13  21  66  94  -28  46
 22 Reckdale Town          45  11  10  24  51  81  -30  43
 23 Stamper Road           45  10   9  26  34  74  -40  39  R
 24 Camwell Road           45   8   5  32  31  82  -51  29  R

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                     P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Dartmouth Terriers      38  20  12   6  66  34  +32  72  P
  2 Lackerrun               38  19  14   5  62  39  +23  71  P
  3 Grovebank               38  20  10   8  55  31  +24  70
  4 Geoff United            38  20   8  10  59  40  +19  68
  5 Stekelenbright          38  19   9  10  47  33  +14  66
  6 Courser                 38  18  11   9  61  36  +25  65
  7 Southriver              38  18   9  11  54  35  +19  63
  8 Harrington              38  18   6  14  61  46  +15  60
  9 Kommissar               38  14  11  13  57  55   +2  53
 10 Haymaker Town           38  15   6  17  30  30   +0  51
 11 Perrett                 38  14   8  16  42  46   -4  50
 12 Tryst Athletic          38  14   8  16  47  57  -10  50
 13 Barcastle Rovers        38  14   7  17  47  56   -9  49
 14 Thratewood              38  12  11  15  41  46   -5  47
 15 Ramsay                  38  12  10  16  35  54  -19  46
 16 Norton Road             38   8  14  16  34  49  -15  38
 17 Worthall                38   9   9  20  27  48  -21  36
 18 Huysegem                38   9   8  21  20  48  -28  35
 19 Crisisbless Ermac       38   8   6  24  35  67  -32  30
 20 Virginia Treason        38   6   9  23  32  62  -30  27

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Greygate                   38  25   6   7  63  27  +36  81  P
  2 Morningstar                38  22  10   6  57  38  +19  76  P
  3 Mantlegrove                38  21  11   6  53  27  +26  74
  4 Nay Town                   38  19   7  12  47  33  +14  64
  5 Sandrock                   38  18   8  12  40  27  +13  62
  6 Getton Town                38  18   6  14  61  46  +15  60
  7 Fischer                    38  16  11  11  42  39   +3  59
  8 Riverkey                   38  15  10  13  58  46  +12  55
  9 Inner-East Fairywrens      38  14  11  13  40  40   +0  53
 10 Norpike                    38  15   7  16  42  48   -6  52
 11 De La Patria               38  14   8  16  58  44  +14  50
 12 Pridehome                  38  12  14  12  52  49   +3  50
 13 Violence Tigers            38  13   9  16  47  50   -3  48
 14 Twelvetrees                38  14   5  19  33  47  -14  47
 15 Starrian                   38  13   5  20  34  44  -10  44
 16 Leo                        38  11   9  18  33  48  -15  42
 17 East Slake                 38   8  15  15  35  49  -14  39
 18 Rookwall                   38   9  10  19  33  54  -21  37
 19 Markoni                    38  10   5  23  40  86  -46  35
 20 Harbrook United            38   6   7  25  33  59  -26  25

by **Nephara** » Tue Feb 10, 2015 1:34 am

FINAL MATCHDAY FIXTURES
Chatswood vs. Brinemouth
A direct battle for supremacy. Only with a better result than Maximum City can Chatswood make the Globe Cup, only with a win while City draw or lose will Brinemouth.

Vermillion Wanderers vs. Chenoworth Rovers
Wanderers are 15th, Chenoworth 16th, and aside from a Chenoworth win putting them above their hosts there’s nothing to play for.

Newrook City vs. Corvette Maulers
Hapless all season, Corvette are down no matter what. Newrook should beat them, and if they win and Extreme don’t, they’ll clamber to safety at the Hounds’ expense.

Coret Hawks vs. Crisisbless
Realistically, Crisisbless are locked in at second, and Coret are comfortably safe. Dead rubber.

Chenoworth Harriers vs. Crisisbless United
Amidst all the dramas around other teams, the Harriers have quietly just been the league’s 24th club, and they’re relegated no matter what.

Violence Chariots vs. Extreme Hills
A win for Hills would secure them in the top flight. Defeat or a draw, and a City win would knock them back into 21st, at which point they’d be hoping for Integabad to stay in the top four.

Vermillion Rage vs. Goodfeather FC
Goodfeather’s terrible season is still mired in midtable no matter what. The Rage are secure in either 3rd or 4th, though the 3rd will put them closer to the Globe Cup proper and won’t stress their squad as much next season.

AFC Treason vs. Leichhardt
“Alright Tosca, Rachael, Russ, get close together. I know it’s the last match of the season but we can’t get complacent - I know it’s gonna be a hell of a challenge out there, you just have to not concede thirteen goals to Leichhardt, allegedly the league’s worst attack on misleading figures like ‘goals scored’, and then the title’s ours. They’ll be going out highly-motivated, of course, since if they win and Newrook lose to the league’s worst club and Integabad also keep their spot, they might stay up. God save us all.”

Southfell United vs. Maximum City
Only with a win will the Smiths be secure in the Globe Cup, and while Southfell have little to play for - and are resting Brightley - they’ll look to put a nice end on another great season.

Sabrefell Moths vs. Maximum Rovers
Barring a City loss, CHT/BRI draw and an 8-0 Rovers win, it’s a dead rubber. A Sabrefell win could potentially put them back in the top 10, at least, which would look at least a little better after a disappointing season.

Sabrefell Athletic vs. North Laithland
No dramas, but Athletic need a better result than the Rage to come 3rd rather than 4th. North Laithland need any kind of result to at least be a Top Ten Side™.

Raven River vs. Parrhesia United
Parrhesia need a win to reach the sacred 50-point mark. Not that it matters, particularly. River haven’t even got symbolism left to play for.

KICK-OFF
One minute played across the country, and Sabrefell Athletic have already scored. 38 seconds in and Geneva Rafferty’s cheap concession of possession has gifted Oehman the ball, and it’s a peach of a cutback that Gawain runs to at just the perfect moment to stroke past Corren from just inside the box. It takes a while for the action to heat up in any of the actually meaningful fixtures, though, even counting Treason vs. Leichhardt as ‘meaningful’ - the Canaries are defending well and determinedly, but haven’t actually had a shot within the first ten minutes - a mighty 29% possession does them no favours, either. It’s a heavily-rested Treason side in preparation for two consecutive finals - but in a nice gesture that’s also plain convenient, Cathy Stokes is starting in her final league match - now 34 after a steady transition from ‘endurance runner’ to ‘actually slow’, she’s heavily expected to retire, and she can at least go out after 90 minutes lifting the trophy.

Athletic score again in the 13th, this time through Bray, but a goal for Vermillion’s Elmo Havelund puts them back in third. Somewhat more importantly, fans in Chatswood from both sides go wild as the news filters in from Southfell - Claire Rusland has found the net with a beautiful dipping strike from just outside the box. Fifth is, suddenly, wide open - and Chatswood are currently occupying it, and defending stoutly.

Treason finally score in the 41st minute, at which point Chenoworth Harriers vs. Crisisbless United is already 2-2 and Athletic vs. North Laithland 3-0; it’s Stokes whose low cross gifts Jaspenner with a near-post tap-in. Extreme Hills, currently trailing 1-0 thanks to Jess Ritter, breathe a sigh of relief. Violence fans are mournful despite the result so far - while Gareth Sumner isn’t being sacked, after an exceptionally disappointing season his contract will not be renewed. Vermillion, meanwhile, find themselves on the wrong end of a quick-fire double from Wrexham and the enterprising leftback Seneca Matthews, and are pegged back to fourth as the half-time whistle blows.

With Integabad currently drawing 1-1 with Creed United and Bishop losing to Starling, 21st is currently a safe haven. It’s not one that Newrook look to escape, as they look frankly terrible against Corvette - they’re finding all the holes, yes, but the finishing is dismal and Just Hargrave is having a great match. Fortunately, Daniel Canady is seemingly having a crisis in the twilight of his career up front, and after 45 matches of giving his all in front of goal for a team as bad as Corvette, one can understand the 32-year old just kind of giving up in the last. Teenager Lisa Heller is thrown on to partner him up front, and gamely chases some wayward long balls. 0-0 is written all over this one. And, shockingly, even Leichhardt manages to get on the scoresheet - Maddon is played through on goal by an inspired Docherty pass, leads Katskalidis a merry chase before returning the favour for Docherty wonderfully, a surging run and a shot smashed past Russ Miller. The scores, somehow, are back level.

But not at Chatswood! After an even, gritty affair that’s come close to boiling over a few times, it comes down to the fact that Brinemouth can’t defend set pieces and Chatswood can definitely attack them. Seth Greig brushes past Elaine Blackstock and heads in at the far post from a perfectly weighted Ferreira corner, and as long as the home side keep beating up Brinemouth’s front five whenever they get possession, it looks like they have fifth sewn up. Still some anxiety left, though - not five minutes later and news comes in from the Scipio Arena that Georgia Kite has beasted Julian Kite and headed home a Keane cross. The Smiths are still sixth, but a win puts them back in the Globe Cup.

It’s no surprise to anyone, but Treason hit back against Leichhardt. Jaspenner hits a post, the rebound is clumsily scuffed away by a wrong-footed Larkland but Flaccus charges it down and hits it across the goalmouth. The last touch seems to have been applied by Cheney Portsmouth, sliding in at the far post and getting a deflection from what looks like Rowlins into the net with his shin. Ugly. Effective. By this stage Crisisbless are winning 1-0 in Coret thanks to Portsgate but really, it’s Treason’s day. Vermillion’s, too, from the looks of it - they’ve clawed back a 3-2 lead from 2-1 down at half-time. And while it’s not working out for Newrook, they’re bolstered by news that Sasha Haas has restored Integabad’s lead over Creed. Bishop are still losing, flaccidly, to Starling at home. The reprieve looks likely.

By the end, the dust seems to have settled. Treason has not lost 13-0 and will defend the league title. Vermillion’s now 4-2 up against Goodfeather, so Athletic’s 4-0 win over North Laithland is meaningless. Integabad are defending breezily and will glide into… not the Premiership next season, giving a hapless Newrook a second chance. Extreme have also avoided the drop despite losing 2-1 to Violence. But there’s still some room for drama left - in the 89th minute, substitute Teresa Wintergren snaps past Rhys Dundalk in possession. Dundalk’s left with no choice; sweep Wintergren’s legs from under her. It’s a clear red, and he’s already trying to get off the pitch before referee Markus Anderlecht can give it, but there’s a sudden fracas as Dockers wade into him and the referee, seeming to ignore the clearly pained Wintergren. And the Dockers are then dragged aside by the broadly larger and tougher Chatswood players. And then a streaker runs onto the pitch and kicks the ball into the net before being tackled by guards. In the six minutes it takes to resolve the situation, Greig, Breton and the surprisingly feisty Amanda Clough have followed Dundalk into the tunnel (Breton just for a second yellow, Greig for a headbutt and Clough for an elbow to the jaw) - and it is, by a distance, the last match to end. On a nine vs. nine, as Chatswood sit deep in the patented 4-3-1 formation and just wait for the game to end, as the news has already reached them that Maximum failed to score again. “Pure football,” says Emery Lineker after the match. “Pure fucking football.”

And in the centre of Treason, with no idea what happened in the outskirts, Catherine Stokes lifts the Premiership trophy. It’s their fifth win, it’s her last league match, and it’s a fitting send-off to the eleventh year of the modern era.

CUP FINAL DAY
AFC Treason: 1 - Miller; 2 - Grana, 5 - Green, 4 - Marlowe, 17 - Cardiff; 13 - Carrick, 21 - Flaccus, 16 - Acosta (c), 11 - Connacht; 15 - Quinn, 10 - Schindler
Bench: 18 - Pence; 3 - Stokes, 6 - Tachibana, 7 - Portsmouth, 8 - Anderton, 9 - Schneider, 20 - Ashdown

Treason is forced to rest a couple of players - but only those with more or less equivalent stand-ins. Carrick and Schindler both get to start, while the policy of Pence starting Cup games is dropped for the final. Treason, understandably, are massive favourites going into the game.

Newrook City: 12 - Brennan; 6 - Brindle, 18 - Seward, 22 - Daunton, 3 - Bellamy; 4 - Keenan (c); 8 - Blanchard, 13 - Thorn; 10 - Beckett; 23 - Lynwood, 11 - Mallory
Bench: 1 - Mackan; 2 - Gallard, 5 - Chadwick, 9 - Cromwell, 15 - Archer, 17 - Randall, 21 - Dailly

Elated by their reprieve, Newrook will go into this match with nothing to lose and everything to gain. Maxine Lynwood is the only player who didn’t start regularly last season, but she played her way into favour from the two-thirds mark of the season and has looked efficient throughout. Brennan has started in the Cup since the semi-finals. Markus Beckett, of course, is a Cup winner with Chatswood last season - Daunton a league winner with Brinemouth, though on the periphery of the squad. Massive underdogs.

Kick-off
The match kicks off at 6pm, with 31-year old referee Aphrodite Corren officiating as the youngest referee ever to manage the Cup final. Most expect Newrook to rely on their defence holding firm - Seward and Daunton are a decent set of centrebacks, Brennan a legitimately good goalkeeper - but that doesn’t seem to be on the menu tonight. With Beckett as a playmaker, they’re actually able to set up a fantastic chance as early as the seventh minute, the leftback Bellamy sprinting ahead of Grana to latch onto a Beckett forward ball before slowing down, cutting it back to utterly wrong-foot the defence. But unmarked and under no pressure, Esther Mallory’s first-touch shot goes over the bar.

It’s an infuriating showcase of the lack of quality Newrook have had in front of goal all season, and Treason immediately put their foot on the game. Catheline Keenan, who normally prefers to be more proactive, was reduced to a desperate attempt to chase down both Roque Acosta and Josephus Flaccus. Flaccus was too quick and dynamic, and the more thoughtful, slower-paced Acosta seemed almost to sigh as he realised that yet another club lower in technique was going to compensate by trying to kick him in the shins. Repeatedly. But the Newrook line held, and the one time it didn’t, Schindler in possession and just onside after catching onto Quinn’s flick-on, Brennan made a fantastic save with her feet. And then a fantastic save with her fists from Acosta’s free kick. And then, fantastically, was fouled by Marlowe during a dangerous corner.

So the end of the first half had Newrook more or less hanging on for dear life. The second half was more or less in the same vein - though with a change made in the 53rd minute, the box-to-box midfielder Markus Anderton replacing the Rock. While Anderton did skip past the slower, tiring Keenan with ease, it perhaps did not have the immediate input hoped for. The Stags kept a very high line, and after being broken down - Brennan rising to claim an optimistic long ball meant for Quinn’s head before a quick release down the left - Treason suddenly looked vulnerable. Bellamy beat Carrick to the ball, broke down the wing before a forward ball to Lucius Thorn cut Grana out of the equation. With a slightly clumsy first touch, Thorn had to slide to get to the ball before Green - but that left Lynwood in a footrace with Marlowe to get to it. And Marlowe had to turn, despite being far closer. Lynwood got there just in time, skipped past the challenge, and drifted into the box, centring just as Markus Beckett slowed and began to shape in anticipation of the strike…

Markus Beckett, hero of Chatswood, had suddenly put his old rivals into a hell of a bind.

From that point, the Rooks knew they weren’t getting another goal. They sat back, defending with ten men (32-year old defensive Stephen Dailly was brought on for Mallory, shifting Newrook into a very deep, narrow 4-2-3-1) and hoping that Treason couldn’t break them down. They nearly did - Quinn hurled himself forward to get to a low Connacht cross, headed into the post and swept out a leg for the rebound that rolled right into Brennan’s arms - but as they got more and more desperate, City got more and more resolute, winning the affection of many of the neutrals in the crowd. And finally, despite everything - the final whistle blew.

It was the greatest Cup final upset in modern Nepharim history. But few could begrudge the Rooks as Catheline Keenan held up the trophy for the whole stadium to see. And the Stags? They might have missed out on the chance for an unprecedented triple… but they could still make it two. They just had to beat Kingsgrove. ‘Just’.

AFC TREASON 0 - 1 NEWROOK CITY
Player of the Match: Rachel Brennan

CAMPIONATO ESPORTIVA DI CAMPEONES FINAL DAY
Kingsgrove: 1 - Knight; 18 - Molina, 5 - Bologna, 13 - Duguid, 12 - Portadown; 22 - Fife, 4 - Crowley; 7 - Rowe, 10 - Stamper (c); 11 - Gardella; 17 - Gardot
Bench: 20 - Pallister; 3 - Bail, 6 - Fisher, 8 - Sullivan, 9 - Sanchez-Dysos, 15 - Adrian, 16 - Hendrickson

Kingsgrove, as always, are an intimidating prospect - and they have their full-strength team to bear. Olenna Knight has been an exceptional replacement for Jayce Pence, now of course sitting on the Stags’ bench, while Crowley and Fife are a phenomenal partnership in defensive midfield. The Royals have a wonderful midfield in general, very fluid and making up for young, dynamic Gardot’s inexperience. Kingsgrove are narrow underdogs, but it would not be a shock to see them win their second Campionato in three years.

AFC Treason: 1 - Miller; 2 - Grana, 5 - Green, 4 - Marlowe, 17 - Cardiff; 7 - Portsmouth, 21 - Flaccus, 16 - Acosta (c), 11 - Connacht; 15 - Quinn, 9 - Schneider
Bench: 18 - Pence; 3 - Stokes, 6 - Tachibana, 10 - Schindler, 13 - Carrick, 20 - Ashdown, 23 - Rainsford

An unambiguous full-strength lineup. Portsmouth and Schneider are restored to the first-team, teenage midfielder Tanith Rainsford, interestingly, brought onto the bench. Jayce Pence, to nobody’s surprise, will watch her old team from the bench.

Kick-off
The symbol of the modern A-League against the symbol of the modern Premiership - two dominant forces going head to head to decide who was the strongest non-Apoxian club in Esportiva. Kingsgrove, playing a very aggressive, free-flowing game, went off to a flying start. Gardot kicked off to Stamper, who immediately shuttled it along for Gardella. And then to the overlapping Portadown, who knocked the ball nicely past Portsmouth, cut inside Grana and angled for the shot… only to be taken out by Marlowe’s sliding challenge. A perfect one, giving the Brenecian international no cause to claim a foul.

That set the tone for the game. Treason may have been tripped up by a single inspired counterattack and some desperate defending, but when they were against a side that wanted to score on its own terms, that left them able to play to their own strengths.

Trusting themselves to have the discipline to close ranks when needed, Treason kept up a high line, pressing relentlessly when out of possession. With two very high-tempo teams on the pitch, there was certainly plenty of movement around the field. And yet, the Royals’ defensive line was just that little bit more vulnerable, that little less accustomed to pressure. And Knight, while a great shot-stopper, was not nearly the match of Russ Miller. So nobody was too surprised when Connacht found Acosta’s pass, skinned Molina and smashed the ball into the top right corner, across and past Knight. It had happened in a flash.

Treason weren’t content to sit on their lead, however - seventy minutes left, and either side could easily have found a goal. Stamper, who had of course already scored a Campionato-winning goal a couple years back, had a great chance to level but blazed just over from twenty yards, while Quinn was, as always, a constant threat who managed to go one-on-one with Knight - unfortunately for the Stags, the shot was palmed out for a corner as Quinn tried to simply blast it past her. By the end of the first half, Treason maintained their lead - while Kingsgrove were getting shots in, they weren’t able to get the ball into the box. The Stags simply defended too tightly, and Miller had the distant shots covered with ease.

Infuriatingly for Kingsgrove, the Stags only got stronger coming into the second half. Despite their advantage in midfield, they simply couldn’t get hooks into the red and white line - except once, one beautiful pass that set up Gardot, but Miller got across stunningly to tip the first-time shot out for a corner. And while Treason weren’t dominating possession, they still had more than their fair share of chances - an Acosta free kick glanced off the crossbar, Knight had to get down well to save a Schneider header, and the Taijani was later called offside when through on goal.

In the last ten minutes of the game, the osmosis of the game called for Kingsgrove to put on a last-ditch assault. The deeper-lying Rainsford had been brought on for the aggressive Flaccus in the 65th minute, and in the 81st Cathy Stokes was brought on for Cardiff and given the armband by Acosta - a choice that came through necessity as much as sentiment, with Stokes still a very good defensive player. One substitution was left for the prospect of extra time. No such restraint for Kingsgrove, however - none other than Guillermo Sanchez-Dysos, now 34 years old, had been thrown on as a last throw of the dice. So had Bennett Adrian on the right, for that matter, but Sanchez-Dysos was the true talisman. His impact was almost immediate, smashing a first-time shot from Adrian at a comfortable height but dangerous angle for Miller to palm away. He later rose well over Green to head just wide from Gardella’s cross.

But with all that, they simply couldn’t find a way through. With just three minutes of injury time to go, Treason abandoned their forward line, defending with 10 as Kingsgrove dominated possession but simply couldn’t find a way in. And as Rowena Stamper, who’d won this very tournament with a total thunderbastard two years ago, blazed over the bar from just outside the box, the final whistle blew - and Cathy Stokes lifted the Campionato Esportiva di Campeones. The first, hopefully, of many Nepharim victories.

KINGSGROVE 0 - 1 AFC TREASON
Player of the Match: Rutger Connacht

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                       P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 AFC Treason               46  28  11   7  89  42  +47  95
  2 Crisisbless               46  27  11   8  82  48  +34  92
  3 Vermillion Rage           46  26   8  12  75  54  +21  86
  4 Sabrefell Athletic        46  25  10  11  76  46  +30  85
  5 Chatswood                 46  22  13  11  71  48  +23  79
  6 Maximum City              46  23   9  14  60  41  +19  78
  7 Brinemouth                46  23   6  17  73  50  +23  75
  8 Maximum Rovers            46  19  18   9  63  49  +14  75
  9 Southfell United          46  19  13  14  68  53  +15  70
 10 North Laithland           46  19  12  15  53  52   +1  69
 11 Violence Chariots         46  18  14  14  61  47  +14  68
 12 Sabrefell Moths           46  18  13  15  62  49  +13  67
 13 Raven River               46  15  16  15  58  53   +5  61
 14 Goodfeather FC            46  16  11  19  59  59   +0  59
 15 Vermillion Wanderers      46  17   7  22  58  72  -14  58
 16 Chenoworth Rovers         46  14  14  18  37  51  -14  56
 17 Crisisbless United        46  14  13  19  55  84  -29  55
 18 Coret Hawks               46  11  18  17  42  51   -9  51
 19 Parrhesia United          46  11  15  20  49  66  -17  48
 20 Extreme Hills             46  11  10  25  47  84  -37  43
 21 Newrook City              46  10  12  24  43  77  -34  42 CEdC 
 22 Leichhardt                46  10   8  28  34  59  -25  38  R
 23 Chenoworth Harriers       46   6  15  25  39  70  -31  33  R
 24 Corvette Maulers          46   5  13  28  43  92  -49  28  R

TOP SCORERS
25 - K. Quinn (TRE)
22 - O. Keast (CRI)
20 - C. Bray (SFA)
19 - R. Drake (MXR), R. Colfer (VRR)
18 - T. Bryson (CHT), F. Keller (SFU)
17 - A. Rettinger (GDF), M. Kellard (SFM), S. Levy (VRR), N. Walker (VIC)
16 - D. Norgen (BRI), G. Graz (CHT), B. Sternberg (CRI), A. Rourke (CRU), G. Kite (MXC)
15 - S. Maddon (LEI), R. Monti (PAR), D. Strauss (RVR), K. Volker (SFU), E. Havelund (VRR)
14 - H. Matheson (COR), P. Garrard (EXH), T. Covenant (NLA), E. Schneider (TRE)
13 - D. Canady (CVM), R. Ironside (GDF), E. Ashworth (MXR), J. RItter (VIC)

AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Kurtis Quinn (TRE)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Roque Acosta (TRE)
Iron Fist (Debutant of the Year): Ole Oehman (SFA)
Team of the Year: Miller (TRE); Christener (SFM), Marlowe (TRE), Pryor (MXC), Cardiff (TRE); Knutsen (CRI), Acosta (TRE), Venetianer (CHT), Oehman (SFA); Quinn (TRE), Keast (CRI) - Bench: Beresford (VRR), Stubbs (CHT), Clough (BRI), Tremmel (VRR), Gawain (SFA), Hasselbaink (VRR), C. Bray (SFA)
Manager of the Year: Gerhard MacMillan (VRM)

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Cranequin Wanderers      46  27  12   7  79  32  +47  93  P
  2 Cranequin City           46  24  13   9  61  35  +26  85  P
  3 AFC Integabad            46  22  17   7  55  31  +24  83
  4 South Laithland          46  23  13  10  72  45  +27  82  P
  5 Bishop                   46  21  16   9  70  43  +27  79
  6 AFC Serpentine           46  24   7  15  73  59  +14  79
  7 West Brinemouth          46  20  13  13  43  33  +10  73
  8 Ritter Town              46  21  10  15  72  65   +7  73
  9 Rochford                 46  21   8  17  52  39  +13  71
 10 Starling                 46  18  12  16  79  56  +23  66
 11 Sheridan                 46  17  14  15  45  47   -2  65
 12 Creed United             46  18   9  19  59  61   -2  63
 13 Cypher Town              46  16  14  16  56  57   -1  62
 14 Iron City                46  16  13  17  42  40   +2  61
 15 Sutcroft                 46  17  10  19  53  54   -1  61
 16 Martella Jazz            46  17   8  21  64  75  -11  59
 17 Dross Rovers             46  14  14  18  47  57  -10  56
 18 AFC Shale                46  13  15  18  31  49  -18  54
 19 Mainstream Fist          46  14   9  23  47  74  -27  51
 20 West Hook                46  11  11  24  39  53  -14  44
 21 Iron United              46  10  14  22  44  62  -18  44  R
 22 South Parrhesia          46  10  10  26  44  78  -34  40  R
 23 Franchise FC             46  10  10  26  36  72  -36  40  R
 24 Strephonage              46   7  10  29  31  77  -46  31  R

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Locksley                     46  28  12   6  98  51  +47  96  P
  2 Ox River United              46  25  12   9  60  36  +24  87  P
  3 Boleyn Town                  46  20  16  10  58  45  +13  76  P
  4 East Laithland Harriers      46  21  12  13  68  49  +19  75  P
  5 Armstrong                    46  19  18   9  61  43  +18  75
  6 Brookford Otters             46  21  12  13  53  40  +13  75
  7 Leopolis Hatemongers         46  19  14  13  59  49  +10  71
  8 Iberia Chenoworth            46  19  14  13  62  62   +0  71
  9 North Sabrefell              46  20  10  16  75  59  +16  70
 10 Coret Rovers                 46  19  13  14  69  60   +9  70
 11 Rhagant Schadenfreude        46  17  18  11  46  36  +10  69
 12 Hackett                      46  15  21  10  66  52  +14  66
 13 Belgrave                     46  16  15  15  50  48   +2  63
 14 Crossroads Town              46  17  11  18  56  52   +4  62
 15 Kensey Town                  46  16  14  16  61  67   -6  62
 16 Gridlock Rovers              46  17   8  21  61  68   -7  59
 17 Senway Town                  46  13  14  19  55  74  -19  53
 18 Dubstep Rangers              46  10  16  20  57  77  -20  46
 19 Rushe United                 46  11  11  24  54  75  -21  44
 20 Long Lake                    46   9  15  22  28  60  -32  42
 21 Crisisbless Athletic         46   6  23  17  40  51  -11  41  R
 22 Project +90                  46   8  15  23  52  72  -20  39  R
 23 Falston Town                 46   6  19  21  41  73  -32  37  R
 24 Fenland Albion               46   7  13  26  38  69  -31  34  R

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Masculine Town         46  28  11   7  84  36  +48  95  P
  2 Corby Hubris           46  24  13   9  64  42  +22  85  P
  3 North Dubstep          46  25   9  12  75  44  +31  84  P
  4 Gridlock East          46  24  11  11  79  51  +28  83  P
  5 Brindleton             46  22  15   9  72  47  +25  81
  6 Chaker Town            46  23  12  11  64  40  +24  81
  7 Brookway Town          46  22  12  12  73  50  +23  78
  8 Sutcroft Athletic      46  19  15  12  53  42  +11  72
  9 Forge Carpenters       46  20   9  17  51  44   +7  69
 10 Gridlock               46  18  13  15  51  45   +6  67
 11 Diamondqueen           46  16  15  15  57  47  +10  63
 12 Bodkin Road            46  17  12  17  64  65   -1  63
 13 Blaze                  46  18   8  20  82  79   +3  62
 14 South Brill            46  16  12  18  63  58   +5  60
 15 Vermillion Spite       46  15  15  16  56  66  -10  60
 16 FC United              46  16   9  21  51  60   -9  57
 17 Stonegrave             46  11  21  14  36  43   -7  54
 18 Bellamy                46  13  10  23  45  62  -17  49
 19 Downsparrow            46  13   9  24  45  70  -25  48
 20 Ringway                46  13   8  25  40  62  -22  47
 21 The Strongest          46  11  14  21  67  95  -28  47  R
 22 Reckdale Town          46  11  11  24  53  83  -30  44  R
 23 Stamper Road           46  10   9  27  34  75  -41  39  R
 24 Camwell Road           46   8   5  33  31  84  -53  29  R[/color]

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                     P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Dartmouth Terriers      38  20  12   6  66  34  +32  72  P
  2 Lackerrun               38  19  14   5  62  39  +23  71  P
  3 Grovebank               38  20  10   8  55  31  +24  70
  4 Geoff United            38  20   8  10  59  40  +19  68
  5 Stekelenbright          38  19   9  10  47  33  +14  66
  6 Courser                 38  18  11   9  61  36  +25  65
  7 Southriver              38  18   9  11  54  35  +19  63
  8 Harrington              38  18   6  14  61  46  +15  60
  9 Kommissar               38  14  11  13  57  55   +2  53
 10 Haymaker Town           38  15   6  17  30  30   +0  51
 11 Perrett                 38  14   8  16  42  46   -4  50
 12 Tryst Athletic          38  14   8  16  47  57  -10  50
 13 Barcastle Rovers        38  14   7  17  47  56   -9  49
 14 Thratewood              38  12  11  15  41  46   -5  47
 15 Ramsay                  38  12  10  16  35  54  -19  46
 16 Norton Road             38   8  14  16  34  49  -15  38
 17 Worthall                38   9   9  20  27  48  -21  36
 18 Huysegem                38   9   8  21  20  48  -28  35
 19 Crisisbless Ermac       38   8   6  24  35  67  -32  30
 20 Virginia Treason        38   6   9  23  32  62  -30  27

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Greygate                   38  25   6   7  63  27  +36  81  P
  2 Morningstar                38  22  10   6  57  38  +19  76  P
  3 Mantlegrove                38  21  11   6  53  27  +26  74
  4 Nay Town                   38  19   7  12  47  33  +14  64
  5 Sandrock                   38  18   8  12  40  27  +13  62
  6 Getton Town                38  18   6  14  61  46  +15  60
  7 Fischer                    38  16  11  11  42  39   +3  59
  8 Riverkey                   38  15  10  13  58  46  +12  55
  9 Inner-East Fairywrens      38  14  11  13  40  40   +0  53
 10 Norpike                    38  15   7  16  42  48   -6  52
 11 De La Patria               38  14   8  16  58  44  +14  50
 12 Pridehome                  38  12  14  12  52  49   +3  50
 13 Violence Tigers            38  13   9  16  47  50   -3  48
 14 Twelvetrees                38  14   5  19  33  47  -14  47
 15 Starrian                   38  13   5  20  34  44  -10  44
 16 Leo                        38  11   9  18  33  48  -15  42
 17 East Slake                 38   8  15  15  35  49  -14  39
 18 Rookwall                   38   9  10  19  33  54  -21  37
 19 Markoni                    38  10   5  23  40  86  -46  35
 20 Harbrook United            38   6   7  25  33  59  -26  25

by **Nephara** » Sat Mar 28, 2015 5:21 pm

340 Season Preview

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                       P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 AFC Treason               46  28  11   7  89  42  +47  95
  2 Crisisbless               46  27  11   8  82  48  +34  92
  3 Vermillion Rage           46  26   8  12  75  54  +21  86
  4 Sabrefell Athletic        46  25  10  11  76  46  +30  85
  5 Chatswood                 46  22  13  11  71  48  +23  79
  6 Maximum City              46  23   9  14  60  41  +19  78
  7 Brinemouth                46  23   6  17  73  50  +23  75
  8 Maximum Rovers            46  19  18   9  63  49  +14  75
  9 Southfell United          46  19  13  14  68  53  +15  70
 10 North Laithland           46  19  12  15  53  52   +1  69
 11 Violence Chariots         46  18  14  14  61  47  +14  68
 12 Sabrefell Moths           46  18  13  15  62  49  +13  67
 13 Raven River               46  15  16  15  58  53   +5  61
 14 Goodfeather FC            46  16  11  19  59  59   +0  59
 15 Vermillion Wanderers      46  17   7  22  58  72  -14  58
 16 Chenoworth Rovers         46  14  14  18  37  51  -14  56
 17 Crisisbless United        46  14  13  19  55  84  -29  55
 18 Coret Hawks               46  11  18  17  42  51   -9  51
 19 Parrhesia United          46  11  15  20  49  66  -17  48
 20 Extreme Hills             46  11  10  25  47  84  -37  43
 21 Newrook City              46  10  12  24  43  77  -34  42 CEdC 
 22 Leichhardt                46  10   8  28  34  59  -25  38  R
 23 Chenoworth Harriers       46   6  15  25  39  70  -31  33  R
 24 Corvette Maulers          46   5  13  28  43  92  -49  28  R

  1 Cranequin Wanderers      46  27  12   7  79  32  +47  93  P
  2 Cranequin City           46  24  13   9  61  35  +26  85  P
  3 AFC Integabad            46  22  17   7  55  31  +24  83
  4 South Laithland          46  23  13  10  72  45  +27  82  P
  5 Bishop                   46  21  16   9  70  43  +27  79
  6 AFC Serpentine           46  24   7  15  73  59  +14  79

TOP SCORERS
25 - K. Quinn (TRE)
22 - O. Keast (CRI)
20 - C. Bray (SFA)
19 - R. Drake (MXR), R. Colfer (VRR)
18 - T. Bryson (CHT), F. Keller (SFU)
17 - A. Rettinger (GDF), M. Kellard (SFM), S. Levy (VRR), N. Walker (VIC)
16 - D. Norgen (BRI), G. Graz (CHT), B. Sternberg (CRI), A. Rourke (CRU), G. Kite (MXC)
15 - S. Maddon (LEI), R. Monti (PAR), D. Strauss (RVR), K. Volker (SFU), E. Havelund (VRR)
14 - H. Matheson (COR), P. Garrard (EXH), T. Covenant (NLA), E. Schneider (TRE)
13 - D. Canady (CVM), R. Ironside (GDF), E. Ashworth (MXR), J. RItter (VIC)

AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Kurtis Quinn (TRE)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Roque Acosta (TRE)
Iron Fist (Debutant of the Year): Ole Oehman (SFA)
Team of the Year: Miller (TRE); Christener (SFM), Marlowe (TRE), Pryor (MXC), Cardiff (TRE); Knutsen (CRI), Acosta (TRE), Venetianer (CHT), Oehman (SFA); Quinn (TRE), Keast (CRI) - Bench: Beresford (VRR), Stubbs (CHT), Clough (BRI), Tremmel (VRR), Gawain (SFA), Hasselbaink (VRR), C. Bray (SFA)
Manager of the Year: Gerhard MacMillan (VRM)

by **Nephara** » Sat Mar 28, 2015 5:22 pm

by **Nephara** » Sat Mar 28, 2015 5:24 pm

by **Nephara** » Thu Apr 02, 2015 4:11 am

The season might start well for Athletic and Crisisbless - the Reds managing a sensational 7-0 win against a poor Ranstn - but Chatswood are ultimately beaten on penalties by a determined Quebecois outfit. They’ll be disappointed not to have reached the groups.

And finally, after such a wait, the season starts in earnest. It’s a hell of a first day, too - Crisisbless snatching many of the headlines as they destroy Vermillion Wanderers 7-1, Sur Arora scoring twice on his domestic debut. Having already scored the winner against Sonoma Center in the Champions’ Cup qualifiers, the Cosumar international’s off to a flying start for his new club. Parrhesia, for their part, conclusively dismantle Sabrefell Moths - it’s another Cosumarite, Flynn, who sets up two of the goals in a 5-2 win, though Maddon scores on her Sabrefell debut. Parrhesia are the sole team of that state to win a match, as the Rage are ground down by Maximum City - teenager Gandhi yet another player to score on his debut. Debutants who can’t get on the scoresheet include two of the big-budget strikers to have entered the league in the offseason - Juqinho has a poor match against South Laithland, but Stephen Frew’s squad still manage to beat a determined South Laithland in their first game, while Puntoriero can’t help Treason beat the Rovers. On the whole? Things are set to be exciting.

A top-class defence is the difference at the River Exe Ground, and Arora can only get a single shot against fellow Cosumarite Jakk Winterfyll in the Exton goal. Keast hits a post, but ultimately it’s Exton who create all the chances and convert two of them - Vaarakaalio clipping a low shot past Flynn King in the twelfth minute, Zerzubar rising to head home a deserved second in the 90th. Sabrefell Athletic go defensive and hold out Federation away, hoping for a home victory.

Two exceptionally back-and-forth draws from two unlikely sources. Stephen Frew gets to witness his side’s defensive frailty for the first time, with Bruce Shea scoring a brace for a Roy Chalker-inspired 3-3 draw. Cranequin City have now drawn both Brinemouth and Chatswood, and have galvanised their chances of survival. A normally solid Coret is picked apart by a Crisisbless side looking to avenge their defeat to Exton, but the Heelers still look nervy at the back themselves - a quickfire brace by Harald Matheson in the 86th and 89th minutes salvages a 4-4 draw for the Hawks.

Disaster on both fronts. Well, alright - Exton are a strong team, and while they allow Crisisbless to dominate affairs they simply defend too well. Athletic, meanwhile, opens up far too much and gets torn to shreds by their opportunistic Mangolanan opponents.

It’s a good day for the newly-promoted teams. Dan Shaw scores first against South Laithland, but Drinkwater’s got his spark back after a couple mediocre seasons for the Hounds, and a couple well-taken shots past Brennan secures the Southrons a nice three points. Cranequin City also get a leg up against a potential relegation rival, new signing Bruce Shea getting his first goal for his new club and setting up the other as he drops back into attacking midfield later in the game, setting up Stefan Raleigh for the second goal. Cranequin Wanderers face Brinemouth - two teams defined by their progress made under Larissa Garrotte, neither employing her now - and while they can’t get a point, they acquit themselves well and get a deserved late goal through Olga Pardew.

Crisisbless are now winless in five following their 7-1 annihilation of Vermillion Wanderers. Lyon’s counterpunching football simply has all the answers, though an explosive cameo from Brigid Sternberg off the bench does at least give them a goal. It’s still winnable for them. Vermillion Rage get the better of Korriga, goals from Levy and Gazzincha ensuring they enter the second leg as favourites.

After several indifferent performances from Robin Leighton, 18-year old Schottian Chloe Rudden is given a first start against the Rovers. While Ashworth nets first, a lively performance from Rudden culminates in a stylish cross with the outside of the boot that Damien Arragne easily converts. A fairly uneventful match between Parrhesia United and Maximum City is livened up by a spectacular overhead kick by Durgan Pryor to try and hit a corner. The Wightling centreback is unfortunate to hit a post.

Crisisbless fights back against Lyon in hostile territory. A couple of smart saves by Flynn King are required, but ultimately thanks to Keast and Khan they get the two goals they needed and deserved. Vermillion Rage’s surging attack at home swept Korriga out to sea.

An unusually free-flowing Maximum derby, helped in part by some dodgy defending. While the Rovers’ giant centrebacks sort of invalidated the aerial route, Gandhi was able to get some love when served through the centre. A long ball from Layland gave him the first goal, and when Kite turned and shot against the post in almost no space, the Apoxian teenager fed off the scraps to smash past Middleton. The Rovers had learned from this, and Rainer Hildebrandt spent the remaining seventy minutes of the match flattening him - teaching the youth an important lesson about Nepharim defenders. In the meantime, Drake and Warwick pulled the Rovers back level, but a heartbreaking late goal when Keane chipped Middleton gave the home side all three points.

The resilient Cranequin Wanderers took three surprise points at the Gauntlet, thanks at least in part to veteran Paul Rothner’s performance between the sticks. But they were deserved winners even without his saves - and even given Flaccus’ spectacular equaliser in the 57th minute - kept working at the winner. They got it through the rarest of things, a Croft Drinkwater assist - he made a slick cutback for the onrushing Steed Conagher to bury it. The 36-year old claims to have felt ‘revitalised’ since joining the Wanderers, and it’s certainly reflected in the poacher’s play after being fairly poor last season. For Treason, it’s their first defeat of the season.

Cranequin City are unbeaten heading into a home clash against Athletic. Somehow, they’re unbeaten heading out of it - and, in fact, have a win to show for it. Injury-wracked former Moth Roy Chalker manages to be a thorn in their side one last time, striking the corner that the giant Christian Clare headed home, while Shea’s bruising, uncompromising play allowed him to burst past Matt Breen, through Ryan Reagan and head a dipping Kelsey Worner cross low past Seward. Treason, meanwhile, take some revenge on Newrook City after last year’s Cup Final defeat. While an undignified scramble in front of goal after a corner does somehow lead to Blanchard kicking the ball into the net, ultimately the Stags breeze to a 3-1 victory. “It felt good,” admitted player of the match Tanith Rainsford, rotated in for Acosta. “It felt so fucking good.”

Shocks in Treason. Darek Norgen, so often the bane of Treason in the past wearing Brinemouth blue, continues to be their bane in Violence red - scoring a brace as Violence ease to a surprising 3-0 victory. It’s the first time Ramsey and Mortlock have ever faced as managers. Mortlock, evidently, won that particular battle.

An interesting matchday. Extreme Hills’ absence of a defence culminates in a sparkling 5-3 away win over Chenoworth Rovers, who collapse to a second-half Seb Woodlark hattrick. Cranequin City suffer a first defeat, a high, powerful drive by Darren Parrett beating Docherty. United win the Crisisbless derby thanks to a surging display of attacking football and, in part, to a fantastic performance by new signing Roy Hennessey between the posts. The journeyman goalkeeper more than shows his worth. Finally, there’s a fair share of banter ahead of the Brinemouth-Treason clash. When asked his thoughts on Frew also having faced the challenge of managing a Baptism of Fire team, Ramsey only smiled. “He didn’t win it, though, did he?” Brinemouth score first in the match itself, Connolly clipping a low shot past Miller, but Puntoriero and Portsmouth put the Stages back in front. In the 87th minute, though, Watt crosses in, a weak sliced clearance by Green only makes it as far as Christon who powerfully drives it into the net. 2-2 just about the right result, and Brinemouth really do look resurgent.

Juquinho has really struggled to put his foot down in the Premiership so far, starting every league match but scoring just once. That ends today, as he manages a sweet hattrick as Brinemouth crush Southfell United. All the new signings perform, in fact - Cathmore Everheart with two assists, Connolly hits a post and Steinberg scored as well with a powerful header from a corner. Treason beat the Moths in a tense, end-to-end encounter, while Violence Chariots are abruptly put to the sword 3-0 by River, ending a streak of wins that included both Brinemouth and Treason away.

The Stags haven’t been in fantastic recent form, but they do manage to hold Exton to a draw - Exton notable for having beaten Crisisbless earlier. Acosta’s the star for the home team, assisting both Puntoriero and Portsmouth for the goals, but a late equaliser courtesy of Aviram drifting inside from the right wing and clipping a low, powerful shot past Miller to grab a point for the Apoxians. Sur Arora’s homecoming back to Cosumar is an unhappy one, as the aging and heavily-foreign Klyde get the three points - Ejegefe Na'Safeh scored a fantastic volley and was unlucky to hit a post late on for a second that would've sealed it. Vermillion Rage, in a surprise to everyone but themselves, hold Turori United to a draw. There had been genuine concerns that the Rage would just not be good enough for UICA, but fortunately for Nepharim football they’re acquitting themselves well.

Violence Chariots go right back to their destructive ways, as Gethin Ramsey’s former assistants go head to head. The one who beat Ramsey himself 3-0 comes out on top, Norgen, Walker and Hertz all getting on the scoresheet. Vermillion do a comfortable job on their local rivals, and despite goals from Rivers and Beckcamp (who has looked impressive so far this season on the left wing) cruise to a 4-2 victory to claim the bragging rights.

In the background of all this - though obviously of supreme importance to the clubs involved - the lower leagues kick off the NFA Cup. There is no relief for either of the new teams promoted from the state leagues to fill the gaps left by the Integristani clubs - Pillars of Southfell are destroyed by Southriver 4-0, while The Hanged Man are taken apart by Getton Town. It seems a good time to highlight the clubs individually, given tha absence of too many other remarkable results - Pillars were founded only five years ago, but dominant throughout the state leagues thanks to high-cash banking. The Hanged Man is actually the offshoot of a sports club in Treason which also has a powerful team in the NIHL Second Division - it’s well-supported and decently-backed financially, and both will be chasing promotion. Today, however, no joy.

A heavily-rested Treason still has enough in them to beat their impotently fierce rivals in the Laith - Rudden, electrifying since her debut start, was kept utterly quiet by Grana wide or young Callia Katskalidis centrally. Schneider and Connacht get on the scoresheet. Sabrefell Athletic and Brinemouth, meanwhile, play out a surprising stalemate. It’ll disappoint Athletic, who fall to second, after, yes, a still-unbeaten Chatswood ease comfortably past South Laithland to rise to first. Brinemouth, meanwhile, sit sixth… somehow behind Cranequin City, who beat supposed relegation rivals Chenoworth Rovers 2-0 at home. City, who have been beaten all of once in eleven matches, and boast nine goals from Bruce Shea. Where has this team been hiding?

Alright, so all three clubs win against good opposition. Vermillion beat Republica, a penalty from Karl Finnan puts Crisisbless past Comunas, but c’mon. Northbrook Diamonds 0, AFC Treason 4. Mull that over for a while, and you’ll realise you have one of the most famous wins in Nepharim UICA history to date. Gentle Breeze, beaten four times. At home. Cheney Portsmouth had the match of his life directly in opposition to legendary World Cup-winning Tern captain Kohev Kuengas-Vaga, his mixture of muscle and pace married to deadly crossing to set up a goal for Quinn (evading the colossus, Aapo Nordenberg) before later a surging run put him on the end of an Acosta forward pass. A neat first touch set him up to smash past Breeze into the underside of the crossbar and in. Flaccus constantly threatened with long shots before finally getting the better of Breeze in the 71st minute and finally, to complete the rout, Acosta played his fellow Osarian Puntoriero through on goal in stoppage time. The striker made no mistake, and so the night passed into Nepharim legend. 4-0 away against one of the strongest clubs in the world… are Treason a dark horse for the Champion’s Cup themselves? Surely, by this stage, they have to be worth consideration.

PREMIERSHIP

Team                       P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Chatswood                 12  7  5  0  21   9  +12  26
  2 Sabrefell Athletic        12  8  2  2  20  10  +10  26
  3 AFC Treason               12  7  3  2  22  13   +9  24
  4 Violence Chariots         12  7  2  3  23  13  +10  23
  5 Cranequin City            12  6  5  1  19  10   +9  23
  6 Brinemouth                12  6  4  2  22  13   +9  22
  7 Maximum City              12  6  4  2  16  10   +6  22
  8 Crisisbless               12  6  3  3  25  13  +12  21
  9 Sabrefell Moths           12  6  2  4  22  18   +4  20
 10 Raven River               12  5  4  3  17  12   +5  19
 11 Vermillion Rage           12  5  3  4  23  18   +5  18
 12 Parrhesia United          12  4  5  3  15  11   +4  17
 13 Crisisbless United        12  4  3  5  12  15   -3  15
 14 South Laithland           12  5  0  7  11  17   -6  15
 15 North Laithland           12  4  2  6  12  17   -5  14
 16 Maximum Rovers            12  3  4  5  11  14   -3  13
 17 Coret Hawks               12  2  5  5  11  17   -6  11
 18 Chenoworth Rovers         12  3  2  7   8  22  -14  11
 19 Southfell United          12  3  2  7  11  27  -16  11
 20 Goodfeather FC            12  3  1  8  12  19   -7  10
 21 Cranequin Wanderers       12  3  1  8  10  18   -8  10
 22 Extreme Hills             12  1  6  5  12  17   -5   9
 23 Vermillion Wanderers      12  2  3  7  10  21  -11   9
 24 Newrook City              12  1  3  8  10  21  -11   6

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                          P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Bishop                       12 10  1  1  30   5  +25  31
  2 Chenoworth Harriers          12  9  1  2  27  13  +14  28
  3 Ritter Town                  12  8  2  2  23   8  +15  26
  4 Iron City                    12  8  2  2  16   4  +12  26
  5 AFC Shale                    12  7  2  3  13   7   +6  23
  6 Starling                     12  6  4  2  20  14   +6  22
  7 Creed United                 12  6  3  3  19   8  +11  21
  8 Martella Jazz                12  6  2  4  18  12   +6  20
  9 Corvette Maulers             12  6  1  5  22  15   +7  19
 10 AFC Serpentine               12  5  4  3  12  10   +2  19
 11 West Brinemouth              12  5  3  4  13  10   +3  18
 12 Dross Rovers                 12  5  3  4  12  13   -1  18
 13 Sheridan                     12  4  4  4   9  10   -1  16
 14 Sutcroft                     12  4  4  4  12  19   -7  16
 15 Cypher Town                  12  4  3  5  13  13   +0  15
 16 Iron United                  12  4  3  5  14  16   -2  15
 17 Boleyn Town                  12  2  5  5   9  20  -11  11
 18 Ox River United              12  3  1  8   9  15   -6  10
 19 Mainstream Fist              12  2  4  6  15  24   -9  10
 20 Locksley                     12  2  3  7  13  26  -13   9
 21 East Laithland Harriers      12  2  3  7  13  27  -14   9
 22 Leichhardt                   12  1  5  6   3  15  -12   8
 23 West Hook                    12  2  1  9   7  19  -12   7
 24 Rochford                     12  0  2 10   3  22  -19   2

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                        P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Brookford Otters           12  8  2  2  17  11   +6  26
  2 Corby Hubris               12  7  2  3  24  12  +12  23
  3 Rhagant Schadenfreude      12  7  2  3  15  10   +5  23
  4 Kensey Town                12  6  4  2  16  11   +5  22
  5 Hackett                    12  6  3  3  20  11   +9  21
  6 Armstrong                  12  5  6  1  16   8   +8  21
  7 Project +90                12  6  3  3  19  15   +4  21
  8 Franchise FC               12  5  5  2  17  10   +7  20
  9 South Parrhesia            12  5  5  2  19  17   +2  20
 10 North Sabrefell            12  6  1  5  23  17   +6  19
 11 Long Lake                  12  5  3  4  13  13   +0  18
 12 Iberia Chenoworth          12  5  2  5  16  14   +2  17
 13 Crisisbless Athletic       12  4  4  4  16  14   +2  16
 14 Gridlock Rovers            12  3  7  2  17  19   -2  16
 15 Belgrave                   12  4  4  4  14  16   -2  16
 16 Senway Town                12  3  6  3  15  16   -1  15
 17 Crossroads Town            12  4  3  5   8  10   -2  15
 18 Dubstep Rangers            12  2  5  5   9  15   -6  11
 19 Gridlock East              12  2  4  6  11  16   -5  10
 20 Coret Rovers               12  1  6  5   7  14   -7   9
 21 Strephonage                12  2  3  7   6  14   -8   9
 22 Rushe United               12  3  0  9  13  23  -10   9
 23 Masculine Town             12  2  1  9   7  19  -12   7
 24 North Dubstep              12  1  3  8  10  23  -13   6

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                     P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Chaker Town             12  8  1  3  23  12  +11  25
  2 Fenland Albion          12  8  1  3  23  13  +10  25
  3 Brookway Town           12  8  0  4  31  10  +21  24
  4 Morningstar             12  6  5  1  14   9   +5  23
  5 South Brill             12  6  4  2  17  11   +6  22
  6 Greygate                12  7  0  5  15  11   +4  21
  7 Sutcroft Athletic       12  6  2  4  17   9   +8  20
  8 Falston Town            12  6  2  4  22  15   +7  20
  9 Blaze                   12  6  2  4  19  16   +3  20
 10 Forge Carpenters        12  5  4  3   9   6   +3  19
 11 Diamondqueen            12  5  4  3  13  11   +2  19
 12 Brindleton              12  6  0  6  16  16   +0  18
 13 Gridlock                12  5  2  5  14  15   -1  17
 14 Dartmouth Terriers      12  5  2  5  13  16   -3  17
 15 Ringway                 12  3  5  4  11  15   -4  14
 16 Bodkin Road             12  4  2  6  11  16   -5  14
 17 Downsparrow             12  3  5  4  11  16   -5  14
 18 Stonegrave              12  4  2  6  11  17   -6  14
 19 Bellamy                 12  3  4  5  11  15   -4  13
 20 FC United               12  2  4  6  16  22   -6  10
 21 Vermillion Spite        12  2  3  7   6  16  -10   9
 22 Lackerrun               12  1  5  6   8  20  -12   8
 23 Reckdale Town           12  1  4  7  15  21   -6   7
 24 The Strongest           12  1  3  8  13  31  -18   6

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                    P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Kommissar              12  8  3  1  24  11  +13  27
  2 Ramsay                 12  9  0  3  19   6  +13  27
  3 Courser                12  7  4  1  22   9  +13  25
  4 Southriver             12  7  2  3  20  12   +8  23
  5 The Hanged Man         12  7  2  3  15   8   +7  23
  6 Camwell Road           12  6  4  2  15   8   +7  22
  7 Geoff United           12  6  2  4  15  11   +4  20
  8 Norton Road            12  5  5  2  10   7   +3  20
  9 Haymaker Town          12  5  4  3  11   7   +4  19
 10 Grovebank              12  5  4  3  12  11   +1  19
 11 Barcastle Rovers       12  4  3  5  14  16   -2  15
 12 Stekelenbright         12  5  0  7   9  14   -5  15
 13 Huysegem               12  4  1  7  12  17   -5  13
 14 Perrett                12  4  1  7  11  18   -7  13
 15 Tryst Athletic         12  3  3  6   9  13   -4  12
 16 Worthall               12  3  3  6   8  13   -5  12
 17 Harrington             12  2  4  6  11  15   -4  10
 18 Thratewood             12  3  1  8  10  19   -9  10
 19 Virginia Treason       12  1  3  8   6  22  -16   6
 20 Crisisbless Ermac      12  1  1 10   9  25  -16   4

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Getton Town                12  8  2  2  29  16  +13  26
  2 Mantlegrove                12  7  5  0  16   4  +12  26
  3 Stamper Road               12  7  3  2  16   8   +8  24
  4 Norpike                    12  7  2  3  20  12   +8  23
  5 Rookwall                   12  7  2  3  18  10   +8  23
  6 Pillars of Southfell       12  6  4  2  19   8  +11  22
  7 Nay Town                   12  7  0  5  17  14   +3  21
  8 Fischer                    12  5  3  4  19  12   +7  18
  9 Inner-East Fairywrens      12  3  7  2  10   8   +2  16
 10 Sandrock                   12  4  4  4  10  10   +0  16
 11 Leo                        12  4  4  4   9  15   -6  16
 12 Riverkey                   12  3  6  3   9   9   +0  15
 13 Twelvetrees                12  4  3  5   9  10   -1  15
 14 De La Patria               12  3  2  7  13  16   -3  11
 15 Markoni                    12  3  2  7  17  32  -15  11
 16 East Slake                 12  2  4  6  11  18   -7  10
 17 Violence Tigers            12  2  4  6   8  15   -7  10
 18 Pridehome                  12  1  6  5  18  23   -5   9
 19 Starrian                   12  3  0  9   7  20  -13   9
 20 Harbrook United            12  2  1  9   7  22  -15   7

by **Nephara** » Mon Apr 06, 2015 10:38 pm

Extreme Hills finally manage their second win of the season. It… somehow comes 5-1 against Violence, away? With former Chariots striker Seb Woodlark responsible for a brace? It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but it happened either way. Goodfeather’s already wretched season gets worse as a result, with them falling into the relegation places following a late brace from Havelund that caused them to lose 3-1 in a game they’d arguably had the better of.

Chatswood… lose their unbeaten streak to Newrook City, somehow. Dan Shaw, the transfer gamble who has looked, frankly, garbage, gets a scrappy first goal of the season. Cranequin City keep up their… Globe Cup credentials? Either way, they beat the Wanderers 2-1 at home in the first Premiership Cranequin derby in years - Shea with an assist and a goal (his tenth of the season) to highlight that for four hundred thousand more than Shaw cost, Newrook City could have had an actually good player who can play anywhere in the front half of the pitch while being three years younger.

Race Point look strong on paper, with Kazimieras Zemaitis and Kyle Bolton bolstering a homegrown core, but apart from Zemaitis’ cross picking out Armistead lurking on the far post it was all Stags, with Quinn, Acosta (from the penalty spot), Portsmouth and Schneider all scoring. Kyle Bolton had Isadora Przybyla tailing him constantly on her Champions’ Cup starting debut, and the Islander matches him pace-for-pace, constantly having his number - Ramsey was glowing in his praise of her at full-time. Vermillion Rage weren’t so lucky, looking pretty poor in defeat to Hondo, while Crisisbless’ come-from-behind victory against Southampton saw them score twice in the last ten minutes.

The two sets of Wanderers face off, both in the relegation spots, and… Cranequin wins 4-0, away. “It’s a massive boost to everyone,” admitted captain and player of the match Olga Pardew at the final whistle, who scored and chalked up assists for Conomore and Conagher, with late substitute Sanders scoring in the 92nd minute. “And, yeah, a bit of a relief.” Crisisbless, meanwhile, manage a late goal of their own as Osric Keast’s looping header beats Miller for a 1-0 away win over AFC Treason. It could well prove crucial in the title race.

First Division Rochford, who have scored just four goals in the league all season, manage an encouraging five against Gridlock East. Less encouragingly, they manage to concede three, at home, to a pretty bad Second Division side. “We’re delighted by the victory,” barked Harriet Shaw in the press conference in a true showcase of how dismal Rochford’s season is. Improbably, Shale put six past Project +90 - after conceding early to Laura Weiler, they were forced to open up and utterly pummel their goal. The thoroughly unremarkable Senway Town pummel an admittedly pretty terrible Tryst Athletic 7-0 away, while on the weekend’s biggest mismatch Harrington’s 2,500-capacity stadium saw their home fans outnumbered by travellers from nearby relative giants, Leichhardt. Unsurprisingly, Leichhardt switched to 4-4-2 and pummelled them 4-0. It’s a midweek short of upsets, though two matches of strong First Division sides play each other - the Harriers edging promotion favourites Bishop, AFC Serpentine beaten at home by West Brinemouth.

A dour first half in the Treason derby sees Alhambra Shrike sent off for flattening Quinn in the box, and Roque Acosta powers the penalty through Brand Finnan’s well-placed but weak fingertips. “It was a shit decision to send me off,” said Shrike sulkily at the press conference, ignoring the fact that she flew out of her goal to kneecap Quinn with her fists. “Either way, the squad rallied ‘round and got back into the game.” Graz nearly scored when one-on-one with Miller, but hit a post - Ferreira ultimately equalised with a powerful 28-yard drive, and it took stoppage time for Quinn’s low header to put the Stags back in front.

Treason hit Race Point quickly, with two goals in the first thirty minutes, then shut up shop for the evening. Vermillion avenge their defeat to Hondo, while Crisisbless are perhaps lucky to salvage a point against New Southampton thanks to a pair of perfect set pieces from Knutsen and first Keast, then Finnan, heading them in.

The Moths, running typically hot and cold, annihilate Chatswood. Granted, they were clearly missing Shrike between the posts - Finnan fumbled a Kellard header into the net despite an otherwise fairly decent performance - but Maddon’s pace constantly got the better of Chatswood’s defensive line, the firebrand of a striker scoring a brace. And for the neutrals there were two ridiculous thunderbastards to enjoy, one from Coleman and another from Venetianer. Cranequin City manage an away draw against the Stags, thanks to a late equalising header by Christian Clare from a corner. “We don’t have the most technically adept squad,” manager Agincourt admitted to the press, “but we can make up for it with a lot of time on the training ground spent rehearsing those set pieces. That will always pay off.”

Six different 1-0s, and yet Crisisbless United sparked from 4-1 down at home at half-time to 4-4 at full time thanks to a second-half hattrick from Andreas Rourke. Southfell United dazzling Cranequin Wanderers 4-0 away with Dale Brightley on the bench. Vermillion Rage crushing Newrook away by the same scoreline, while the logical middle ground of those two victors manages two goals against Treason but lets in five at their own end. Exhilarating stuff.

A tense fixture against Exton FC saw a battle between two squads with fantastic defences. Treason nearly scored a fluky opener as Acosta’s free kick careened off Theutrich and nearly crept into the corner of the net, but it took real class from Alfreton Zerzubar to skip past Green, shoot low in the inch of space he had and for that shot to be perfectly placed between Miller and the post was pure class. Puntoriero equalised somewhat less subtly, blasting past Winterfyll when the ball fell to him in a packed penalty area, but it was Aviram drifting inside to meet Ognevski’s forward ball and slotting past Miller with his first touch that sealed the match. Sur Arora’s return fixture against his native Cosumarites is somewhat happier, as he scores a neatly-poached goal en route to a 2-1 victory probably not as comfortable as Crisisbless would have wanted. Vermillion secure another good point against United - they’ve done well.

Cranequin City’s honeymoon might be over, as they now have one point from five games. Admittedly, a point away at the Gauntlet is more impressive than most, but they were simply outdone by River at every position as five different scorers - Kendall, Harrison, Strauss, Pritchard and substitute Arran Zealand - tear them to shreds despite a consolation from Buchanan. “We’re looking forward to the Cup,” says City captain Sarah Croft, “with all due respect to our next opponents.” Given that their next opponents are Lackerrun, probably the worst team in the fourth tier, City should probably break that winless streak. Brinemouth nearly choke a point to lowly Extreme Hills, with the slightly rubbish but exceptionally spirited Seb Woodlark doing his utmost to get an equaliser - he scores both of the Hounds’ goals in the space of 15 minutes before being stretchered off after running into a post - but Juquinho buries them in the 82nd minute.

Cranequin City do, in fact, break their winless streak - number 12 Boris Tallyman without a shot on goal to worry about. Boleyn Town felt ‘worried’ about being drawn against Crisisbless United, mindful of the way that they evaporated Iberia Chenoworth 13-0 last season, sat back and hit on the counter to a respectable 4-2 defeat. And even that was contingent on a few smart saves from Juergen Swallowtail - the goalkeeper auditioning to win back his starting place from Hennessey. While heavyweights Chatswood, Maximum City and Sabrefell Athletic crash out to other Premiership opposition, there’s two top-flight teams who crash out to First Division sides - Vermillion Wanderers beaten 1-0 by Shale in the pouring rain, Maximum Rovers beaten by the same scoreline in the same way by West Brinemouth.

Brinemouth have shown flashes of class this season, but manage to show absolutely none of them against the Chessmen, who destroy them 3-0. Pablo Corderro, who has looked very good yet again this season, scored the first and set up Mueller for the second. 20-year old winger Andrea Cawdor fed on the scraps as Colbright palmed away a powerful Rourke header to hammer the third nail in the coffin. “It was an unequivocally poor performance,” said Frew firmly in the press conference. They can take some solace from Treason’s 2-1 defeat to Vermillion Rage, a close-run thing seperated by Hasselbaink’s fantastic low drive. Treason have themselves been linked with Hasselbaink as a potential successor to Connacht when and if he loses his pace. This kind of match-changing performance was why. Extreme Hills, remarkably, manage to come from behind and beat Crisisbless 2-1 away to round off a disappointing week for title challengers, Woodlark back from his concussion to head past Flynn King for the first, volley against a post (his nemesis) twelve minutes later and foul King in the buildup to a corner that Batton bundled over the line for the winner. His former club Violence Chariots, who slumped to a 2-1 home defeat to Southfell despite a great goal from Hearn, might almost miss the spirited 28-year old.

How? How does this happen twice. How do these things happen two times. Mysteries never cease. Regardless of the how, the what is that Treason repeat their 4-0 victory over Northbrook Diamonds. Yet again, insanely good players like Kuengas-Vaga, Nordenberg and Hufschmied are undone by not only Treason’s Acostas and Marlowes but their Portsmouths and Granas, too. Homegrown talent Kurtis Quinn clambered into the crowd to celebrate the third goal as he clipped a low header into the underside of the crossbar and in, and despite being booked for it, it was still a flawless day for the Stags. “8-0 over Northbrook over the two games,” Gethin Ramsey said breathlessly at the press conference. “Fucking hell. Anyone doesn’t think we can win this tournament, I reckon they got reason to think different now.” The win puts Treason second in the group, a comfortable four points over Northbrook in third, with Exton a point ahead and Race Point without a point from their six matches. Vermillion’s 2-2 draw scrapes them into second, thanks to Hondo FC’s victory over Turoki United who sit three points behind them. Crisisbless finish first with their 1-1 draw with Comunas, and progress alongside New Southampton in a tight group.

Treason are still flying, and Southfell are brushed aside. It’s a rare start for Olenna Jaspenner, who makes the most of her opportunity with a goal. Athletic edge the Chariots in a tense East Sabrefell derby thanks to a Rowan Gawain brace, while Cranequin City suffer a red card to everpresent centreback Christian Clare and fall utterly apart, Gandhi and Kite having a field day in a 4-0 victory. Goodfeather give some relief to an under-fire Spike Turnbull with a convincing 3-0 victory over South Laithland, and Hills’ troubles are worsened as Chatswood mugs them for a 5-1 victory. But most sensationally of all is Brinemouth being defeated 3-0 by Crisisbless, Arora netting a brace before Knutsen clipping a shot under Colbright to seal a strong victory. With both sides underachieving in the league, an embattled Stephen Frew looks uncharacteristically unsettled during the press conference. “This is the nadir,” he says through gritted teeth. “We will get back from this.”

Newrook City, in the CEdC thanks to their Cup win, manage a surprise victory over Halholzer United. The Gold and White are known for having the tighest defence (and one of the weaker attacks) in the A-League, and while they do get a share of chances it is a low drive from 33-year old Markus Beckett who secures an unlikely away victory. Treason, meanwhile, defeat Gregoryisgodistani club FC 17 June solidly. “I wish it had been more,” said Roque Acosta plainly after the match. “They have the strongest home advantage in all of football to call upon in the second leg.”

Two… utterly mystifying results overshadow two top-of-the-table clashes. Crisisbless are edged by Chatswood, while across town AFC Treason succumb to a late Bray equaliser, but Vermillion losing seven-two to River? That’s a hell of a shock. Southfell manage to destroy the Moths 5-1 in a match where Brightley scored two and set up two, almost looking ten years younger. Credit is also due to Rachel Schroeder between the posts to keep the Moths down to a single goal. Maximum Rovers are sleepwalking into relegation, with Catheline Harper uncharacteristically furious following a 2-1 defeat to Newrook. Still panting from her exertions on the pitch, the veteran captain had time and breath to snap into a microphone, “It’s fucking insane! It’s like they don’t even want the fucking win! There’s no fucking respect in this fucking squad!” Harper’s slammed within the club, but the fans stand by her comments.

Halholzer United’s blunt forward line is their bane, lone prowling striker Ashrav Dev kept quiet by Seward and Daunton, but they do get one of the goals they need when captain Roger O’Connor curls a shot past Brennan from twenty yards. With Brennan called on a few more times, Newrook are looking likely to succumb until a low, drilled cross from Celso Erôs is diverted by the unfortunate Enevoldsen past Clark in the United goal. Treason, meanwhile, withstand the oppressive, desolate atmosphere of Gregoryisgodistan to hold on for a 1-1 draw, and both Nepharim clubs progress.

Catheline Harper, ‘rested’ after her outburst, watches grimly from the stands as the Rovers defend solidly but fail to threaten the visiting Chariots for a dire 0-0 draw - Middleton likely saving a point with a point-blank double save from Darek Norgen. In the battle of the bottom two, Extreme Hills and Vermillion Wanderers brutalise one another - Hills lose 2-3 at home, but cause two injuries to key Vermillion personnel in Marlborough and Goldmeier that might prove almost as useful to them in the long-term. Tragically, both sides have good goalkeepers - constantly sold short by utterly brain-dead defending, the game could easily have been 6-6 without their interventions. Both Crisisbless teams host both Cranequin teams in a quirk of scheduling that sees both visiting clubs take home unlikely 1-0 victories. Finally, the Sabrefell derby sees Athletic firmly annihilate the Moths. Coalan Bray, weathering the storm of the away end’s “you fat bastard” chants, scores the opener, with Reiter and Bowyer contributing the others.

AFC Shale… manage another 1-0 away win over a Premiership team. This time, former Shale defensive midfielder Michaela Donachy of Crisisbless has a simple pass stolen from her by Daineri striker Robill, who rushes forward, beats Harridan and beats Keel at his near post. Rather than accept the failure of three backup players as the reason they are, in fact, backup players, Gareth Bournemouth blames just about everyone outside of the Crisisbless organisation. “Let’s get facts straight - it was pouring rain, right, the officials didn’t give a fuck about whistling fouls, it’s all bullshit. Was a fucking farce. Disgraceful.” It wasn’t. Starling reinforce their promotion credentials with a solid 2-0 victory over Raven River, Newrook their survival credentials with a plucky away victory over Corvette Maulers (who don’t manage a shot on target all game), and Chenoworth Rovers their relevance credentials as they beat Parrhesia United through a clean sheet and Hastings’ brace. In one of more than a few Premiership clashes, Treason are knocked out by the plucky Southrons.

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                       P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Sabrefell Athletic        23  15  4   4  39  20  +19  49
  2 AFC Treason               23  14  5   4  42  22  +20  47
  3 Maximum City              23  13  6   4  33  16  +17  45
  4 Chatswood                 23  13  5   5  42  27  +15  44
  5 Vermillion Rage           23  12  5   6  45  35  +10  41
  6 Crisisbless               23  12  4   7  40  22  +18  40
  7 Brinemouth                23  11  6   6  39  29  +10  39
  8 Violence Chariots         23  10  7   6  37  30   +7  37
  9 Sabrefell Moths           23  11  4   8  36  33   +3  37
 10 Cranequin City            23  10  7   6  30  28   +2  37
 11 Raven River               23  10  6   7  37  25  +12  36
 12 North Laithland           23  10  2  11  24  29   -5  32
 13 South Laithland           23   9  4  10  23  28   -5  31
 14 Parrhesia United          23   7  9   7  28  25   +3  30
 15 Crisisbless United        23   8  6   9  33  37   -4  30
 16 Goodfeather FC            23   9  1  13  28  31   -3  28
 17 Southfell United          23   8  3  12  31  43  -12  27
 18 Chenoworth Rovers         23   8  2  13  16  35  -19  26
 19 Cranequin Wanderers       23   7  1  15  25  38  -13  22
 20 Coret Hawks               23   4  8  11  21  30   -9  20
 21 Maximum Rovers            23   4  8  11  22  33  -11  20
 22 Newrook City              23   5  4  14  21  39  -18  19
 23 Extreme Hills             23   3  8  12  27  39  -12  17
 24 Vermillion Wanderers      23   4  3  16  23  48  -25  15

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Iron City                    23  17  3   3  32   6  +26  54
  2 Bishop                       23  15  3   5  43  19  +24  48
  3 Starling                     23  14  6   3  38  20  +18  48
  4 West Brinemouth              23  12  6   5  33  16  +17  42
  5 Chenoworth Harriers          23  13  3   7  40  25  +15  42
  6 Ritter Town                  23  12  3   8  38  22  +16  39
  7 Martella Jazz                23  11  5   7  36  26  +10  38
  8 AFC Serpentine               23  10  6   7  36  26  +10  36
  9 Cypher Town                  23  10  6   7  31  22   +9  36
 10 AFC Shale                    23  10  6   7  19  16   +3  36
 11 Corvette Maulers             23  10  5   8  40  30  +10  35
 12 Creed United                 23  10  4   9  30  22   +8  34
 13 Dross Rovers                 23   9  6   8  20  25   -5  33
 14 Sheridan                     23   8  8   7  19  19   +0  32
 15 Sutcroft                     23   8  6   9  20  30  -10  30
 16 Leichhardt                   23   7  8   8  14  21   -7  29
 17 Iron United                  23   7  5  11  23  29   -6  26
 18 Boleyn Town                  23   5  7  11  20  36  -16  22
 19 Mainstream Fist              23   5  7  11  26  45  -19  22
 20 Locksley                     23   5  6  12  23  40  -17  21
 21 West Hook                    23   6  2  15  14  31  -17  20
 22 Ox River United              23   5  3  15  20  34  -14  18
 23 East Laithland Harriers      23   4  3  16  23  53  -30  15
 24 Rochford                     23   3  3  17  12  37  -25  12

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Rhagant Schadenfreude      23  16   4   3  36  11  +25  52
  2 Corby Hubris               23  14   3   6  41  22  +19  45
  3 Project +90                23  13   4   6  33  25   +8  43
  4 North Sabrefell            23  13   2   8  50  35  +15  41
  5 Brookford Otters           23  12   5   6  33  23  +10  41
  6 Armstrong                  23  11   7   5  30  17  +13  40
  7 Strephonage                23  12   3   8  37  19  +18  39
  8 South Parrhesia            23  10   9   4  39  28  +11  39
  9 Franchise FC               23  10   8   5  29  18  +11  38
 10 Kensey Town                23   9   8   6  31  32   -1  35
 11 Crossroads Town            23   9   5   9  23  22   +1  32
 12 Belgrave                   23   7   9   7  24  27   -3  30
 13 Hackett                    23   8   5  10  31  30   +1  29
 14 Gridlock Rovers            23   5  13   5  26  30   -4  28
 15 Long Lake                  23   7   6  10  22  29   -7  27
 16 Crisisbless Athletic       23   7   5  11  22  27   -5  26
 17 Senway Town                23   6   8   9  26  33   -7  26
 18 Dubstep Rangers            23   6   7  10  22  33  -11  25
 19 Rushe United               23   7   3  13  27  46  -19  24
 20 Gridlock East              23   6   5  12  21  33  -12  23
 21 Coret Rovers               23   4  10   9  20  30  -10  22
 22 Iberia Chenoworth          23   6   2  15  22  36  -14  20
 23 Masculine Town             23   5   4  14  20  34  -14  19
 24 North Dubstep              23   3   5  15  22  47  -25  14

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                     P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Falston Town            23  14   4   5  41  23  +18  46
  2 Fenland Albion          23  14   4   5  38  22  +16  46
  3 Brookway Town           23  14   1   8  43  17  +26  43
  4 Chaker Town             23  12   6   5  35  21  +14  42
  5 South Brill             23  12   5   6  38  25  +13  41
  6 Brindleton              23  12   2   9  36  26  +10  38
  7 Forge Carpenters        23   9  10   4  21  12   +9  37
  8 Morningstar             23   9   9   5  23  19   +4  36
  9 Greygate                23  11   3   9  29  28   +1  36
 10 Sutcroft Athletic       23   9   7   7  24  19   +5  34
 11 Blaze                   23   9   6   8  38  38   +0  33
 12 Stonegrave              23   9   6   8  20  24   -4  33
 13 Ringway                 23   7  11   5  25  25   +0  32
 14 Diamondqueen            23   7   9   7  27  26   +1  30
 15 Dartmouth Terriers      23   8   5  10  24  28   -4  29
 16 Gridlock                23   6   9   8  24  27   -3  27
 17 FC United               23   6   7  10  27  33   -6  25
 18 Downsparrow             23   6   6  11  20  32  -12  24
 19 Lackerrun               23   4  11   8  27  34   -7  23
 20 Vermillion Spite        23   5   7  11  20  35  -15  22
 21 Bodkin Road             23   5   5  13  21  33  -12  20
 22 The Strongest           23   4   7  12  29  51  -22  19
 23 Bellamy                 23   3   9  11  15  32  -17  18
 24 Reckdale Town           23   4   5  14  29  44  -15  17

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                    P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Kommissar              23  17  4   2  45  19  +26  55
  2 Courser                23  13  6   4  39  19  +20  45
  3 Southriver             23  13  4   6  37  20  +17  43
  4 Camwell Road           23  12  7   4  36  21  +15  43
  5 Ramsay                 23  13  1   9  30  20  +10  40
  6 Geoff United           23  12  3   8  27  21   +6  39
  7 Haymaker Town          23  10  8   5  23  13  +10  38
  8 Grovebank              23  10  6   7  27  19   +8  36
  9 The Hanged Man         23  10  6   7  22  18   +4  36
 10 Harrington             23  10  4   9  29  26   +3  34
 11 Stekelenbright         23  11  1  11  21  24   -3  34
 12 Tryst Athletic         23   7  5  11  24  31   -7  26
 13 Perrett                23   8  2  13  23  33  -10  26
 14 Worthall               23   6  7  10  18  25   -7  25
 15 Thratewood             23   7  4  12  20  32  -12  25
 16 Norton Road            23   6  6  11  18  29  -11  24
 17 Huysegem               23   6  4  13  21  32  -11  22
 18 Barcastle Rovers       23   5  5  13  23  36  -13  20
 19 Virginia Treason       23   4  6  13  22  35  -13  18
 20 Crisisbless Ermac      23   5  1  17  17  49  -32  16

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Mantlegrove                23  14   7   2  32  11  +21  49
  2 Pillars of Southfell       23  12   7   4  34  17  +17  43
  3 Stamper Road               23  11   8   4  28  16  +12  41
  4 Getton Town                23  11   5   7  42  32  +10  38
  5 Fischer                    23  11   5   7  31  21  +10  38
  6 Rookwall                   23  11   5   7  28  21   +7  38
  7 Nay Town                   23  11   5   7  28  22   +6  38
  8 Riverkey                   23   9   8   6  30  20  +10  35
  9 Norpike                    23  10   5   8  27  22   +5  35
 10 Inner-East Fairywrens      23   9   7   7  22  15   +7  34
 11 Leo                        23   9   5   9  23  31   -8  32
 12 Sandrock                   23   8   7   8  20  18   +2  31
 13 Twelvetrees                23   7   8   8  18  18   +0  29
 14 Violence Tigers            23   6   8   9  18  24   -6  26
 15 Starrian                   23   7   3  13  21  34  -13  24
 16 Harbrook United            23   7   2  14  22  35  -13  23
 17 East Slake                 23   4   9  10  18  29  -11  21
 18 De La Patria               23   5   4  14  22  37  -15  19
 19 Markoni                    23   5   3  15  28  56  -28  18
 20 Pridehome                  23   2  11  10  25  38  -13  17

by **Nephara** » Tue Apr 07, 2015 3:08 am

Catheline Harper’s return into the Rovers’ starting XI gave everyone a good feeling. When the 34-year old number 14’s name was called out at the Gauntlet, the entire stadium cheered - after all, she’s a legendary figure for both clubs, as well as her country. Eventually, good-natured chants of “Fuck Maximum City” also echoed around the stadium. Either way, Harper’s free kick was headed home by Drake for the first goal, but a 76th-minute equaliser by Olenna Jaspenner was a fair reflection of the game. In a flurry of violence, Sabrefell Athletic took River apart 7-1 - thanks in part to a red card for Lukas Finnan, reinforcing their title credentals. Newrook City, meanwhile, strove to get out of the bottom four with a magnificent 5-1 victory over Crisisbless United, Maxine Lynwood the star with her electrifying pace and bristling energy, the typically immobile Dan Shaw credited by a gushing Jayce Rivett as ‘giving her space’. That said, Coret get a goal through the enigmatic Al-Kebwek, who would be a fantastic player if he actually gave a shit about the Hawks, and his swerving low shot defied Hills goalkeeper Kennedy to keep Coret out of the relegation zone and Hills decidedly in it.

Newrook City move from strength to strength, Dan Shaw heroically falling over during a shot to score the first goal in what was ultimately a 3-1 triumph over Paymina Navy. Treason dispatch of Matthew City somewhat more stylishly, vindicating Ramsey’s decision to rest Puntoriero against the Rovers as he and the tireless Quinn account for all three goals.

It’s shaping up to be one of the most interesting relegation battles in recent history, as no side seems truly buried and a lot of teams could yet be dragged into it. Southfell United, at least, take a stride towards safety as Lily Schindler’s shot from close range is blasted past Jelic in the Maximum City goal. Newrook win their second straight in the league - fourth straight in all competitions - against a Chenoworth Rovers side that had tried to just subtly creep away from that whole ‘relegation’ unpleasantness, while the Rovers continue to look high on aggression and low on quality and have, in fact, overtaken Chatswood in terms of discipline when Rainer Hildebrandt contrives to kick Sheila Maddon in the face. Protesting his innocence, he couldn’t argue with the fact that Maddon needed stitches - for her part, Maddon wiped off the blood with her shirt and kept on playing for six minutes until the referee finally noticed despite her best efforts. During her goal celebration for the second goal, when she whipped off her shirt and threw it into the crowd. Which earned a second yellow card. Things are always that little bit more exciting with Maddon on the field. “It’s hard to be mad at Sheila,” admitted captain Maria Martell after the final whistle.

City manage an away draw against Paymina Navy, even with a heavily-rotated squad (not even bringing veterans Beckett or Keenan on the plane), while Treason breeze through Matthew City with a chance for young squad players like Rainsford, Katskalidis and Przybyla to get some big-game experience.

Newrook lose a winnable fixture to South Laithland, who seem reluctant to join the fun at the foot of the table and manage victory through Karl Sturrock’s crisp strike. Dan Shaw, whose goal tally for the league season stands at a mighty three, is presented with a free header from seven yards in the 89th minute. He heads directly upwards, and when a confused-looking Reece Benedict jumps to claim it Shaw does what he does best and falls over under the Southron goalkeeper. “He’s an integral part of the team,” insists Jayce Rivett, “even if he hasn’t had the best of luck at times.” It’s a particularly bad day for them once Coret, Chenoworth Rovers, Maximum Rovers and Cranequin Wanderers all get draws against strong opposition, and Vermillion Wanderers beat Cranequin City 2-1 through a Rook Colfer brace. The 29-year old’s not been in the best form throughout the season, and the team’s suffered for it. An unremarkable scoreless draw between River and Maximum Rovers sees a crushing blow to the latter’s hopes of survival, with Harper’s ACL snapping in a bad challenge. “I’m not going to retire, but… yeah, I’d say that’s it, that’s my season done,” she told the press bitterly two days after the match. “Feels awful.”

Shale can’t keep their run of scalps going, with Newrook triumphing a comfortable 2-0. West Brinemouth take advantage of the draw against Locksley to win out 2-0 at home, while Starling have to do it the hard way in a tense match. Reinhard Buchanan scores first with a low drive past Karling, but a late equaliser from Starling striker Konrad Braunbier manages to take the tie into extra time. It’s Braunbier yet again causing problems, felled clumsily by Liam Corter in the 118th minute, and Tallyman goes the wrong way for a simple sidefoot from Rosalind Millan. Those two are the only lower-league sides left for the final eight.

With a crucial match between Cranequin Wanderers and the Rooks, a very even match sees Pardew beat Brennan from 26 yards with a free kick, while Coret Hawks also win a valuable point. Crisisbless United turn up the style to beat Sabrefell Moths 3-0, and it comes to everyone’s attention that Sabrefell manager Weixelbraun’s constract runs out at the end of the season. Maximum Rovers slump to a bad defeat to North Laithland, leading to a bizarre decision from the board - Monroe is fired, loyal assistant Kurtis Monroe resigns, leaving Catheline Harper, who literally does not possess any qualifications, to be promoted to player-interim manager. It makes marginally more sense in the context of Harper’s season-ending injury, and yet...

Catheline Harper’s enigmatic managerial career kicks off to a high, as the Rovers beat Maximum City 2-0. Surely she’s imprinted herself into Rovers folklore by this stage, as Ashworth stabbed home after a flurry of activity in the Smiths’ box and Parrett switched flanks and struck home just as City threatened an equaliser. Hers begins just as Malta Fletcher’s ends - well, with Hills, at least - on a whimper, with a 3-0 defeat to a powerful-looking Parrhesia side. The contrast couldn’t be more marked. Mackinlay dragged the Saints away from the drop zone to sit around midtable this season, Fletcher’s Hounds hadn’t won in eight and had only won three times all season.

Newrook City are presented with a finely-honed winning machine and don’t know what to do about it. Even with the controversy surrounding the death of young defender Abel Luchenwill and the culprit, Pallstadt’s best left winger, Stefan Hostmann, the Craftsmen treat Newrook with enough respect to bring most of their starting XI to the away leg. It’s more than enough. Piotr Kluszak opens the scoring by adroitly dodging Keenan’s clumsy sliding challenge, being presented with a clear shot on goal and all the time in the world, and beats Brennan with the strike. Duco Dalmshelf’s clever backheel presents Siebel - standing in for Hostmann - with a clear shot he converts, while young Friedrich Riesling smashes home from just inside the box after Daunton gives him far too much space. Treason, for their part, let Real Santa Maria wear themselves out on the attack and score on the counter, Flaccus neatly stroking home the winner.

“This is insanely stressful,” Harper admits to the press as her side stumbles to a 1-1 draw with Extreme Hills. It’s still useful, at least. It’s also useful for Rafael Whitman, a young, highly-rated First Division firefighter just 41 years of age who accepted a temporary contract with Hills until the end of the season. “We can build on it,” said the baby-faced, slightly pudgy man in a sweaty dress shirt who appears about as good a fit for the Laith as a snowball in Hell. Hard to believe he was a professional striker until retiring at 36. Turnbull, meanwhile, is elated to silence some critics with a complete triumph over Maximum City - Rettinger and former City midfielder Wrexham with the goals.

There is a reason that, in the absence of Apoxian clubs, the final has been expected from the very start to be between Blau-Weiss and Treason. Newrook, needing a spectacularly improbable 4-1 win to even progress on away goals, just go for broke against Pallstadt in a wonderfully energetic performance. This approach paid dividends at first - Jan Erhardt might well feel disgusted to be beaten by a clumsy shot from a player as bad as Dan Shaw - but Pallstadt quickly got things back to 2-2 by extra time before turning the screws. Brennan made the difference for Newrook - at least, the difference between 4-2 and 8-2 - and Pallstadt ran out comfortable winners on aggregate. But the tidings are better back in Nephara, where a Real Santa Maria side lacking in international class besides their Osarian strike partners and Brenecian international leftback, Lockhart (left repeatedly in Portsmouth’s wake) are chewed up and spat out by Treason, with Puntoriero scoring a hattrick and young centreback Callia Katskalidis scoring her first senior goal, volleying home a corner.

Sabrefell Athletic stand tall as City, Treason and Rage all falter, while there’s wins for Crisisbless and Brinemouth too. Brinemouth in particular have been resurgent, with sixteen points from their last possible eighteen, as Stephen Frew tells the press that the squad is “finally performing to the levels I knew they were capable of. It just took time and patience.” Anchor man Breton looks like a new player, Juquinho has lost the early-season jitters to look deadly in front of goal, and the other new signings in Steinberg, Connolly and Everheart all performed well even back when the rest of the team wasn’t. It’s Connolly who gets the goals as they triumph over Violence Chariots, who haven’t made the progress many expected.

Yet another strange day in this strangest of seasons. Mortlock wins back some pride with a 1-1 draw to Treason, sharing an embrace with her mentor, Ramsey, at the final whistle. There’s a rainy day in Vermillion that turns a poor pitch in the Falstaff Ground to mush, and Athletic simply can’t get fluency while the Wanderers smugly hoof it up to Colfer. Unsurprisingly, he gets a brace in a 2-0 win, prompting Miriam Aragon to call the pitch ‘a disgrace’. With more than a little justification. Olgina Harrison scores five as River smash Cranequin Wanderers 7-3 away - that equals Cheney Bittencourt’s record for most goals scored by one player in a match, which was as it happens set against the same team at the same ground. Bittencourt was even a former River player, though he set the record at Treason. Trivia aside, Maximum Rovers devastate Chatswood 4-0 in Treason to put a dent in the Woodsmen’s bid to stay in the highly-contested Globe Cup places. Yet again, Parrett excels on the right wing. “I’m elated,” says Harper simply. “The squad’s playing with so much joy right now, I just wish I could be out there with them, y’know?”

Treason and Brinemouth are both unlikely to win the title - Sabrefell Athletic seem to have quietly wrapped that up. But they are still in the direct fight for second, and it’s a tense match during a passionate fixture. Katskalidis - who has seemingly started to win a first-team place over Rachael Green - heads home what looks to be the first goal, but it’s rightfully adjudged offside to the fury of the home crowd.

The Stags suffer a major blow thanks to Mithlithelen’s brace, the 658-year old striker making the best of his experience. Treason’s entire 24-man squad is 620 years old, by way of comparison. But joking aside, it puts their chances in serious jeopardy. Vermillion manage to punch above their weight yet again to draw 1-1 with East Franz Athletic, Zozula scoring a heartbreaking but deserved equaliser in the 70th minute after Rage took an 8th-minute lead through young Gazzincha. The fact that Russ Beresford in the Vermillion goal was man of the match tells you a lot about the flow of the game. So soon after being obliterated 6-0 by AFC Treason, Real Santa Maria are probably not looking forward to another Nepharim club coming to visit. They give their best in an open and free-flowing game, but Crisisbless win out 4-2, leaving them the only Nepharim side remaining who are favourites to progress.

Violence and River play out an exhilarating 5-5 draw, livened by a hattrick at each end - Walker for the Chariots, Harrison for the Ferrymen. “A crazy match,” was all Brind had to say at the final whistle. “Utterly mental stuff.” Athletic continue to swan towards the title with a 3-0 dismantling of the Rage in Vermillion, in which their hosts couldn’t even get three shots on target. That Rage defeat is a boost to Chatswood, who have an uncharacteristically free-flowing performance to put down Crisisbless United 4-3. That, admittedly, relied on Roy Hennessey spilling a weak Graz shot into his own net - Hennessey’s a strong goalkeeper and a good shot-stopper, but the 31-year old’s never been totally reliable. Both sets of Rovers and the Cranequin Wanderers continue to step away from the relegation zone with three good wins, and with defeat for Coret and a draw for Newrook a gap is finally opening up between the bottom four and the rest of the strugglers.

Treason score as early as the third minute through Connacht to put some pressure on Ibini, but they can’t keep it up. When Mithendion gives the hosts a deserved equaliser in the 64th minute, the fight just seems to drain from Treason, and they ultimately crash out of the Champions’ Cup. East Franz Athletic also take out Vermillion Rage, Astograthian ex-patriot and Tern international Zeljeznicar showing true class to put the winner past Beresford in the 38th minute, Vermillion simply not good enough to score in the Islandstates. Crisisbless, at least, breezes past Santa Maria.

Brinemouth are undefeated in 11 after a dazzling 2-0 victory over the Sabrefell Moths. They now sit second, nine points out of first and six above Treason in third. Goodfeather have gotten themselves out of trouble but still look pretty bad from time to time, and still streaky at best - a 3-0 defeat at home to Vermillion Wanderers gives the away side a massive boost. It drags them off the foot of the table at last, with Extreme Hills losing a 2-1 lead in the 80th minute and losing their 2-2 draw in the 83rd to a deserving Cranequin Wanderers.

Newrook’s title defence is seriously damaged by a Sheila Maddon brace - the quick striker having recently expressed her availability to both the Nepharim and Brenecian national teams over Twitter, attached to a gif of her throwing her shirt into the crowd while streaming with blood against the Rovers and the text “Bet u #Cormorants and #Patriots want som more of this ! XD @nfaofficial XD @brenecianfa XD” - while West Brinemouth is lucky to still be in the tie against Crisisbless United, with Mark Foster clearly a foot offside when he scored a consolation. Chenoworth Rovers, surprisingly, shut down Brinemouth and won through a low Sphinx North shot, while Starling succumb to simply superior Southrons.

Treason vent their frustrations on a cashed-up Alianza FC high on wage bill but, on the day, short of heart and quality. Daniel Cromwell in the Alianza goal, capped for the Nephara U-21s, picks the ball out of his net with grim regularity, though he still makes some decent saves in a 4-0 defeat. “We’re going to win something this fucking season,” Ramsey muttered to the press - out of UICA and the Cup, fifteen points out of first in the league, this really does seem like the Stags’ last shot.

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                       P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Sabrefell Athletic        34  23   6   5  67  27  +40  75
  2 Brinemouth                34  19   9   6  59  36  +23  66
  3 AFC Treason               34  17   9   8  57  37  +20  60
  4 Crisisbless               34  17   7  10  60  39  +21  58
  5 Vermillion Rage           34  16   8  10  61  54   +7  56
  6 Maximum City              34  15  10   9  43  29  +14  55
  7 Chatswood                 34  15   9  10  54  46   +8  54
  8 Raven River               34  14  10  10  61  49  +12  52
  9 Violence Chariots         34  13  12   9  53  49   +4  51
 10 Sabrefell Moths           34  15   6  13  47  47   +0  51
 11 North Laithland           34  15   5  14  40  45   -5  50
 12 Parrhesia United          34  13  10  11  47  37  +10  49
 13 Southfell United          34  14   6  14  52  58   -6  48
 14 Goodfeather FC            34  15   2  17  42  41   +1  47
 15 Cranequin City            34  12   8  14  38  48  -10  44
 16 South Laithland           34  11   9  14  37  43   -6  42
 17 Crisisbless United        34  11   8  15  50  58   -8  41
 18 Maximum Rovers            34   9  11  14  36  44   -8  38
 19 Chenoworth Rovers         34  11   5  18  23  46  -23  38
 20 Cranequin Wanderers       34  11   4  19  40  56  -16  37
 21 Newrook City              34   7  10  17  34  51  -17  31
 22 Coret Hawks               34   6  11  17  29  48  -19  29
 23 Vermillion Wanderers      34   7   7  20  39  63  -24  28
 24 Extreme Hills             34   4  14  16  35  53  -18  26

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Starling                     34  22   9   3  72  29  +43  75
  2 Iron City                    34  22   7   5  43  14  +29  73
  3 Bishop                       34  21   5   8  65  34  +31  68
  4 Ritter Town                  34  20   4  10  57  33  +24  64
  5 Chenoworth Harriers          34  19   6   9  57  36  +21  63
  6 West Brinemouth              34  18   8   8  48  22  +26  62
  7 AFC Serpentine               34  17   8   9  63  37  +26  59
  8 AFC Shale                    34  16   9   9  32  24   +8  57
  9 Creed United                 34  17   5  12  47  36  +11  56
 10 Cypher Town                  34  14   9  11  38  32   +6  51
 11 Sheridan                     34  14   9  11  31  26   +5  51
 12 Corvette Maulers             34  15   5  14  52  48   +4  50
 13 Martella Jazz                34  14   8  12  51  47   +4  50
 14 Dross Rovers                 34  12  11  11  32  37   -5  47
 15 Sutcroft                     34  12  10  12  35  44   -9  46
 16 Iron United                  34  10   8  16  33  41   -8  38
 17 Leichhardt                   34   9  10  15  20  33  -13  37
 18 Ox River United              34   9   4  21  28  45  -17  31
 19 Locksley                     34   7   9  18  36  63  -27  30
 20 West Hook                    34   7   7  20  24  48  -24  28
 21 Mainstream Fist              34   6  10  18  42  68  -26  28
 22 Boleyn Town                  34   5  11  18  25  58  -33  26
 23 East Laithland Harriers      34   6   5  23  34  74  -40  23
 24 Rochford                     34   5   5  24  18  54  -36  20

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Rhagant Schadenfreude      34  22   4   8  46  20  +26  70
  2 Corby Hubris               34  19   7   8  56  33  +23  64
  3 Brookford Otters           34  19   6   9  55  30  +25  63
  4 Franchise FC               34  17  11   6  52  27  +25  62
  5 North Sabrefell            34  19   3  12  66  49  +17  60
  6 Armstrong                  34  16  10   8  46  31  +15  58
  7 Project +90                34  17   6  11  48  38  +10  57
  8 South Parrhesia            34  15  11   8  56  41  +15  56
  9 Strephonage                34  16   5  13  47  32  +15  53
 10 Crossroads Town            34  14   7  13  42  40   +2  49
 11 Kensey Town                34  13   8  13  48  51   -3  47
 12 Gridlock Rovers            34  10  16   8  41  43   -2  46
 13 Crisisbless Athletic       34  12   7  15  36  45   -9  43
 14 Iberia Chenoworth          34  13   3  18  45  49   -4  42
 15 Belgrave                   34   9  13  12  34  43   -9  40
 16 Hackett                    34  10   9  15  42  47   -5  39
 17 Coret Rovers               34   9  12  13  37  43   -6  39
 18 Rushe United               34  12   3  19  44  65  -21  39
 19 Masculine Town             34  10   8  16  32  42  -10  38
 20 Dubstep Rangers            34   9   8  17  32  50  -18  35
 21 Long Lake                  34   8  10  16  30  49  -19  34
 22 Gridlock East              34   8   8  18  29  49  -20  32
 23 Senway Town                34   8   8  18  32  53  -21  32
 24 North Dubstep              34   8   7  19  35  61  -26  31

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                     P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Falston Town            34  20   6   8  59  31  +28  66
  2 Fenland Albion          34  20   4  10  50  30  +20  64
  3 South Brill             34  18   8   8  56  34  +22  62
  4 Brindleton              34  18   7   9  57  36  +21  61
  5 Chaker Town             34  17  10   7  47  27  +20  61
  6 Morningstar             34  15  13   6  41  30  +11  58
  7 Brookway Town           34  18   3  13  55  26  +29  57
  8 Sutcroft Athletic       34  14   9  11  39  32   +7  51
  9 Stonegrave              34  13  11  10  29  33   -4  50
 10 Blaze                   34  14   7  13  61  56   +5  49
 11 Diamondqueen            34  13  10  11  43  38   +5  49
 12 Greygate                34  14   7  13  38  42   -4  49
 13 Forge Carpenters        34  11  15   8  30  29   +1  48
 14 Dartmouth Terriers      34  12   6  16  37  41   -4  42
 15 Downsparrow             34  10  12  12  36  45   -9  42
 16 Gridlock                34   8  15  11  32  37   -5  39
 17 Vermillion Spite        34   9  11  14  37  48  -11  38
 18 Ringway                 34   8  14  12  32  53  -21  38
 19 Bodkin Road             34  10   6  18  31  46  -15  36
 20 The Strongest           34   9   9  16  49  68  -19  36
 21 FC United               34   9   8  17  36  49  -13  35
 22 Lackerrun               34   5  16  13  43  57  -14  31
 23 Bellamy                 34   6  10  18  27  51  -24  28
 24 Reckdale Town           34   5   7  22  40  66  -26  22

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                    P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Kommissar              34  23  7   4  58  27  +31  76
  2 Southriver             34  22  5   7  54  28  +26  71
  3 Courser                34  19  8   7  58  32  +26  65
  4 Camwell Road           34  17  8   9  49  33  +16  59
  5 Geoff United           34  18  5  11  42  27  +15  59
  6 Grovebank              34  16  8  10  47  31  +16  56
  7 The Hanged Man         34  16  8  10  37  26  +11  56
  8 Ramsay                 34  18  2  14  42  34   +8  56
  9 Harrington             34  15  6  13  45  36   +9  51
 10 Haymaker Town          34  13 10  11  29  24   +5  49
 11 Stekelenbright         34  15  4  15  27  29   -2  49
 12 Perrett                34  13  4  17  31  47  -16  43
 13 Norton Road            34  11  9  14  39  44   -5  42
 14 Tryst Athletic         34  11  8  15  40  45   -5  41
 15 Thratewood             34  10  7  17  33  50  -17  37
 16 Barcastle Rovers       34   9  7  18  36  52  -16  34
 17 Huysegem               34   8  8  18  30  48  -18  32
 18 Worthall               34   6  9  19  23  43  -20  27
 19 Crisisbless Ermac      34   7  6  21  22  59  -37  27
 20 Virginia Treason       34   5  7  22  29  56  -27  22

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Mantlegrove                34  21   7   6  49  22  +27  70
  2 Pillars of Southfell       34  18  10   6  48  24  +24  64
  3 Fischer                    34  19   7   8  49  26  +23  64
  4 Stamper Road               34  18   9   7  45  26  +19  63
  5 Getton Town                34  17   7  10  58  41  +17  58
  6 Inner-East Fairywrens      34  15   9  10  37  23  +14  54
  7 Riverkey                   34  14  11   9  46  30  +16  53
  8 Nay Town                   34  15   6  13  43  37   +6  51
  9 Sandrock                   34  14   9  11  30  27   +3  51
 10 Norpike                    34  15   6  13  38  36   +2  51
 11 Rookwall                   34  14   8  12  37  33   +4  50
 12 Violence Tigers            34  11  12  11  28  29   -1  45
 13 Twelvetrees                34  10   9  15  29  33   -4  39
 14 Leo                        34  10   7  17  28  51  -23  37
 15 East Slake                 34   7  15  12  32  43  -11  36
 16 De La Patria               34   9   7  18  34  49  -15  34
 17 Harbrook United            34   9   5  20  30  50  -20  32
 18 Pridehome                  34   6  13  15  36  50  -14  31
 19 Starrian                   34   8   4  22  32  60  -28  28
 20 Markoni                    34   7   5  22  39  78  -39  26

by **Nephara** » Thu Apr 09, 2015 4:02 am

Eight 1-0 wins to signify a time of year where things are tighter than ever, and just a solitary draw. One of these is Brinemouth’s 1-0 defeat at home to Athletic, where a victory would have brought them to within six points - striking distance. Now Athletic are twelve points clear, thanks to Oehman’s powerful strike that threatened to snap through the net (and, of course, to rock-solid defending). Catheline Harper, facing the grilling of the press after a 4-0 defeat to the Rage, snaps “Fuck if I know” in response to the accusation that she was tactically inept. “I’ve had fuck-all experience here, and I’m just learning this shit as it goes along. I’m doing a better fucking job than anyone would’ve fucking expected, alright?” The stress is clearly getting to her, but they are still decently clear of relegation. Extreme Hills manager Rafael Whitman might have enjoyed an early honeymoon of four straight 1-1 draws followed by a plucky 2-1 away win over South Laithland, but they’re still eleven points away from safety after Newrook City has the better of them, 4-2.

Newrook City fight strongly, but the Moths are too strong for them. That said, a crushing blow to them comes when Jess Beck’s injured, and badly - out for the rest of the season. That puts their options between left-footed centreback Pembroke (who comes in on the night) and an actual leftback in Kresinger who’s just 18 years old. Crisisbless United blow West Brinemouth away with ease, Andrea Cawdor in particular impressing, while an open, exposed Starling are destroyed 4-1 at home by South Laithland. But in the shock of the round, Brinemouth are defeated 2-0 at home by Chenoworth Rovers, who get just two shots on target against Cass Banton. Fortunately, both fall to the clinical Darren Essex - meanwhile, former Brinemouth goalkeeper Gerry Malone in the Rovers’ net is equal to every attempt.

Despite a brace from dangerous Audioslavian forward Jaervinen, Treason ease to aggregate victory thanks to goals from Markus Anderton and the talented Claudia Cautcher, who seems like she could be fantastic in the future if it wasn’t for her glass knees. But right now, she sashays through two players and fires high past Cromwell for the equaliser on the day and an unneeded winner on aggregate. And who do they face in the final? Oh, that’s right - Blau-Weiss Pallstadt.

AFC Treason celebrate their progress in the CEdC by thumping Maximum City in a typically forceful display. Quinn gets an opportunistic first past Jelic early on, and after Terrance Jordan brings down Puntoriero inside the box, Acosta smashes home the penalty. It gives them an edge on Brinemouth, who can only snatch a draw with Raven River. “All the craziness that’s gone on recently, I tell ya, it’s great to just keep a clean sheet,” says a relieved River goalkeeper in Brandon Roberts. And as Sabrefell Athletic destroy Parrhesia United 3-0 away, the title is looking decidedly like it’s headed back to the capital for the first time in seven years...

Crisisbless might be facing an incredibly tough opponent in 1830 Cathair (or, to put it another way, ‘half of the Audioslavia national football team’), but this is the company Nepharim clubs are going to have to keep now. And a 1-1 draw away is a strong start, with the Heelers keeping compact. Sur Arora - rested against Newrook - nearly opens the scoring with a spectacular drive from twenty-six yards, but Andrea Molovi throws out a leg to deflect it out for a corner. But from that corner, Espen Knutsen places it perfectly for Karl Finnan to rise like a phoenix and powerfully head it home. From there, Crisisbless cede the initiative, arguably to their cost, as they don’t look likely to threaten. Flynn King, who hasn’t looked like a true Globe Cup goalkeeper this season, is still on hand for a brilliant string of saves against Caszely, but RJ Styrn (who had been quiet all game) shifts and fires a magnificent drive past King. Crisisbless take home the narrow advantage of an away goal and parity, but it could have been so much better.

Extreme Hills, somehow, pull out a victory over Treason at the Gauntlet, the energetic Seb Woodlark twice assisting the more naturally incisive Page Garrard. “Sometimes miracles happen,” Gethin Ramsey said derisively after the final whistle. The Hounds will need a lot more of the same if they’re of escape relegation. Meanwhile, in a Cranequin derby the Wanderers would really need a win in, City (who have seemed to get worse as the season progresses) look fatigued. Despite this, and Shea’s goals drying up lately, Chalker still drives a free kick past Rothner to equalise in the 66th minute after Conomore opened the scoring.

Cathair calls on another level and simply outplays Crisisbless at Godswatch. The Heelers defend well, but even then, a dominant performance from Styrn is enough to give her a goal and what could have been an assist for Caszely but yet again Flynn King was on hand to dash out and sweep the ball away from under his feet. It’s to no avail, though - ‘the Lidge’ is on song to crash home a decisive second goal, and while his fellow Apoxian Osric Keast hits a post late on Cathair have the deserved win. “We’re simply not at that level yet,” admits captain Karl Finnan through gritted teeth. “The squad all sweated their hearts out tonight, but Cathair had some true world-class talent in that side. Still feels awful to crash out.”

Unfortunately for Crisisbless, they get another taste of world-class talent. Both sides seem a little deflated by recent defeats in what was expected to be a headlining clash, and despite a few forays at either goalkeeper Josephus Flaccus wins the match with one of those “Fuck you, I’m proper talented” thunderbastards. Coret Hawks slump to a 2-0 defeat to the Southrons, causing Anna Cliving to bring a squad she has in recent weeks described variously as ‘spineless’, ‘weak’ and ‘pathetic’ in front of the away fans to be lambasted. Hopefully, the extreme tactic will work.

Sabrefell Athletic windmill into Crisisbless United and put six goals past Hennessey. Braces from Bray and Gawain, with Bergman and Oehman padding it further... they’re just breezing to the title by this stage, even if Andreas Rourke does fire powerfully between Seward’s legs when played one-on-one. The Treason derby sees a game more violent than skilful, a red card on either side, but Quinn evades Greig to head a Connacht cross past Shrike for the winning goal. The Hawks don’t exactly show grace or class, but a dirty six-pointer against Cranequin Wanderers sees rock-solid defending from Tzavaras and Derringer, while rough diamond Al-Kebwek runs onto a headed Matheson flick-on and smashes the ball past Rothner.

In an atypically tense match on the Laith, the cruising Northerners are smashed by an Extreme Hills team eager to hit on the break. But that’s an oversimplification, as Aidan Kennedy is well-worked - a draw would have been a fair reflection had he not been at his best on the day. Coret hearts are broken just as things look like they’ve won a vital away match against a relegation rival when Maxine Lynwood is inelegantly barged into by Mick Derringer for an eighty-ninth-minute penalty. Faulkner guesses the right way, but Markus Beckett stays cool and fires the penalty high beyond his reach, right into the corner.

Brinemouth and Goodfeather, two sides who have both benefited from surges in the second half of the season, face off - but it’s Goodfeather, away, who establish themselves as the form team of the present day. Rettinger’s powerful header is cancelled out by a quick Juquinho flick into the path of Larissa Connolly, who manages to beat Gilchrist (who has excelled since winning her first-team place at around the three-quarter mark of the season) with the outside of her boot. But despite how flashy the goal is, Rettinger gets a second just as brutally efficient as his first, and they all count the same. Once Wrexham and, finally, Auburn Tarrant have had their say, Brinemouth find themselves on the end of a crushing humiliation.

Coret Hawks appear, possibly too late, to realise they’ve been sliding towards the First Division. Showing the determination and grit they’ve lacked until being shouted at by their own loyal fans, they extend their unbeaten run to four by holding out against Treason, with former Treason midfielder Logan Byron particularly impressing. But it’s a 0-0 draw that might have been a 1-0 win last season, as the talented but shiftless Moussa Al-Kebwek disappoints to break a good run of form. Sadly, the 5.5-million winger has looked worth his price in approximately 5.5 matches.

The Moths edge out the Chessmen in an uncharacteristically tight match that yet again saw Swallowtail audition to get his place back. Sadly for him, Hennessey’s looked a consistently better bet this season - and sadly for him, Martell cuts through the United defence, Maddon latches onto the ball and smashes it into the net. Peterson also has a good game, and a rare chance for backup right winger Klinsmann to get on the scoresheet is ruined when she smothers a point-blank shot from him and, even more remarkably, doesn’t let it creep away from her to Andreas Rourke, who surely would have buried it. Chenoworth Rovers, surprisingly, actually score two goals against South Laithland. Despite Hadrian Kuepper’s header in the seventh minute, the Rovers continue to look unshackled in the Cup, and between Hastings and Damkjaer they seize the day.

Vermillion Wanderers fall apart in a winnable fixture, Olgina Harrison smashing them into a fine paste with a hattrick as Strauss, Brind, Kenway (off the bench) and Vaughan also get on the scoresheet. Harrison’s ability to stab accurately home with no space or time has inspired comparisons to Drinkwater, but the actual Drinkwater can’t get on the scoresheet even once. Parrhesia United continue to look like a team reborn (admittedly, they’ve had their share of false dawns in recent years), and they’re simply better than the Cranequin Wanderers all over the pitch, Monti with the brace. The Yttribian international’s looking back to his best after a subpar last season.

A day of a lot of effort and pace but simply no finishing on either side gets the Moths through to the final. They’ll be resounding favourites against Chenoworth Rovers, who did manage to score twice - admittedly once in farcical circumstances, Flint Cole slicing a backpass straight to Essex who coolly passed the ball into the net before an unmarked corner gives Taylor Lovelock a free header.

It’s official, as Brinemouth battle Crisisbless heroically but succumb to a late winner from Osric Keast and Sabrefell Athletic edges fierce rivals the Chariots despite goals from Norgen and Hearn - the Premiership trophy is wheeled out at the Scythes. A farcical scene emerges as Rhys Bergman lifts the trophy in confetti to the jeers and hurled bottles of a hostile home crowd, stewards and a healthy police presence keeping the home crowd barely in check. Fortunately, the active support of the Chariots, the Boudicca Bloc, manage to restrain themselves and even give the champions lukewarm applause. “They’re the cunts who knifed a uni student, remember,” one prominent member confided to the press. “We’re the ones with some class, for fuck’s sake.” But nobody can take this triumph away from them. They haven’t had the best squad, or the most expensive, but between tactics, workrate, and sometimes just plain luck, they’ve raced well clear of the pack - and have, at last, broken the Treason/Brinemouth duopoly. “This is where the title belongs!” bellowed Rhys Bergman the moment someone gave him a microphone. “Here, in the capital!” And that, at least, both sets of fans could cheer wholeheartedly.

At the top of the table, Sabrefell Athletic are given a resentful guard of honour by AFC Treason’s first XI, who are mostly universally glaring at their hosts as they run through. The Stags defend solidly throughout the match and come close to winning late on when Elior Schneider’s looping header hits the crossbar and bounces onto the top of the net. Another 0-0 draw at the other end of the table seals Coret Hawks’ fate - the Hawks, as with the entire season so far, simply lacking the heart or the fight despite a squad of good quality.

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                       P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Sabrefell Athletic        45  29   9   7  91  39  +52  96  Champions
  2 Brinemouth                45  25  11   9  78  47  +31  86  CC
  3 Crisisbless               45  24   9  12  75  47  +28  81  GC
  4 AFC Treason               45  21  14  10  67  44  +23  77  GC
  5 Vermillion Rage           45  21  12  12  84  67  +17  75
  6 Chatswood                 45  21  10  14  66  55  +11  73
  7 Goodfeather FC            45  23   3  19  56  47   +9  72
  8 Sabrefell Moths           45  21   9  15  60  55   +5  72
  9 Violence Chariots         45  18  14  13  74  65   +9  68
 10 Maximum City              45  18  12  15  57  44  +13  66
 11 Southfell United          45  19   9  17  68  72   -4  66
 12 Raven River               45  17  14  14  79  64  +15  65
 13 North Laithland           45  18   6  21  48  61  -13  60
 14 Parrhesia United          45  16  11  18  54  49   +5  59
 15 Crisisbless United        45  16  10  19  67  78  -11  58
 16 Cranequin City            45  16  10  19  51  65  -14  58
 17 Maximum Rovers            45  12  15  18  45  58  -13  51
 18 South Laithland           45  13   9  23  45  61  -16  48
 19 Chenoworth Rovers         45  12  11  22  30  59  -29  47
 20 Cranequin Wanderers       45  13   7  25  47  70  -23  46
 21 Newrook City              45  11  12  22  50  70  -20  45
 22 Vermillion Wanderers      45  11  11  23  53  81  -28  44
 23 Coret Hawks               45   9  15  21  38  60  -22  42  R
 24 Extreme Hills             45   6  17  22  50  75  -25  35  R

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Starling                     45  29  12   4  90  37  +53  99  P
  2 Bishop                       45  30   7   8  87  41  +46  97  P
  3 Iron City                    45  27  11   7  60  24  +36  92  P
  4 Ritter Town                  45  29   4  12  73  39  +34  91  P
  5 AFC Serpentine               45  26   9  10  81  43  +38  87
  6 West Brinemouth              45  24  10  11  60  27  +33  82
  7 Chenoworth Harriers          45  24  10  11  69  44  +25  82
  8 Sheridan                     45  19  13  13  41  32   +9  70
  9 Creed United                 45  20   6  19  57  55   +2  66
 10 AFC Shale                    45  17  13  15  40  38   +2  64
 11 Cypher Town                  45  16  14  15  51  46   +5  62
 12 Corvette Maulers             45  17  10  18  66  67   -1  61
 13 Dross Rovers                 45  15  14  16  41  50   -9  59
 14 Sutcroft                     45  14  14  17  41  57  -16  56
 15 Martella Jazz                45  15  10  20  62  66   -4  55
 16 Locksley                     45  13  11  21  51  72  -21  50
 17 Leichhardt                   45  12  13  20  31  44  -13  49
 18 Iron United                  45  12  12  21  40  56  -16  48
 19 Ox River United              45  12   8  25  37  54  -17  44
 20 Boleyn Town                  45   9  13  23  34  72  -38  40
 21 West Hook                    45   9  11  25  31  59  -28  38
 22 Rochford                     45  10   8  27  27  62  -35  38
 23 Mainstream Fist              45   6  14  25  53  92  -39  32  R
 24 East Laithland Harriers      45   8   7  30  45  91  -46  31  R

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Brookford Otters           45  28   7  10  75  33  +42  91  P
  2 Rhagant Schadenfreude      45  28   6  11  58  26  +32  90  P
  3 Franchise FC               45  24  13   8  66  40  +26  85  P
  4 Corby Hubris               45  24   9  12  70  44  +26  81
  5 North Sabrefell            45  25   5  15  94  64  +30  80
  6 Armstrong                  45  20  13  12  57  39  +18  73
  7 South Parrhesia            45  20  13  12  69  53  +16  73
  8 Project +90                45  21   8  16  65  56   +9  71
  9 Crossroads Town            45  19  12  14  59  51   +8  69
 10 Strephonage                45  20   8  17  62  42  +20  68
 11 Hackett                    45  17  11  17  73  56  +17  62
 12 Gridlock Rovers            45  12  21  12  54  58   -4  57
 13 Belgrave                   45  13  18  14  44  50   -6  57
 14 Crisisbless Athletic       45  16   9  20  49  66  -17  57
 15 Iberia Chenoworth          45  17   5  23  55  60   -5  56
 16 Coret Rovers               45  13  15  17  49  55   -6  54
 17 Dubstep Rangers            45  14  10  21  42  60  -18  52
 18 Masculine Town             45  14   9  22  39  58  -19  51
 19 Kensey Town                45  13  12  20  56  77  -21  51
 20 Rushe United               45  14   7  24  51  82  -31  49
 21 Senway Town                45  12  10  23  43  67  -24  46
 22 Long Lake                  45   8  16  21  35  63  -28  40  R
 23 North Dubstep              45  10  10  25  47  81  -34  40  R
 24 Gridlock East              45   9  11  25  34  65  -31  38  R

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                     P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Fenland Albion          45  29   5  11  74  37  +37  92  P
  2 Brookway Town           45  26   5  14  77  35  +42  83
  3 South Brill             45  23  14   8  69  41  +28  83
  4 Brindleton              45  24  10  11  72  43  +29  82
  5 Falston Town            45  24   8  13  75  45  +30  80
  6 Chaker Town             45  22  13  10  64  42  +22  79
  7 Diamondqueen            45  20  13  12  65  46  +19  73
  8 Morningstar             45  19  16  10  62  45  +17  73
  9 Sutcroft Athletic       45  19  12  14  53  44   +9  69
 10 Stonegrave              45  17  14  14  43  50   -7  65
 11 Blaze                   45  17  12  16  76  70   +6  63
 12 Forge Carpenters        45  15  15  15  41  48   -7  60
 13 Downsparrow             45  15  14  16  47  55   -8  59
 14 Greygate                45  15  12  18  43  54  -11  57
 15 FC United               45  14  11  20  54  64  -10  53
 16 Dartmouth Terriers      45  14  10  21  48  58  -10  52
 17 Vermillion Spite        45  13  13  19  53  69  -16  52
 18 Gridlock                45  10  16  19  40  55  -15  46
 19 Ringway                 45  10  16  19  44  71  -27  46
 20 Bodkin Road             45  12   9  24  36  58  -22  45
 21 The Strongest           45  11  11  23  67  92  -25  44
 22 Bellamy                 45  10  13  22  41  64  -23  43
 23 Lackerrun               45   8  18  19  56  86  -30  42
 24 Reckdale Town           45   9   8  28  52  80  -28  35  R

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Kommissar              38  24   8   6  67  37  +30  80  P
  2 Southriver             38  24   6   8  58  31  +27  78  P
  3 Courser                38  22   9   7  69  37  +32  75
  4 Camwell Road           38  20   9   9  57  35  +22  69
  5 Geoff United           38  20   6  12  48  32  +16  66
  6 Grovebank              38  17  11  10  53  35  +18  62
  7 Harrington             38  18   7  13  54  39  +15  61
  8 Haymaker Town          38  16  10  12  37  29   +8  58
  9 The Hanged Man         38  16   9  13  39  33   +6  57
 10 Ramsay                 38  18   2  18  46  45   +1  56
 11 Stekelenbright         38  16   5  17  33  38   -5  53
 12 Perrett                38  14   6  18  32  49  -17  48
 13 Norton Road            38  11  12  15  45  52   -7  45
 14 Tryst Athletic         38  11  11  16  43  49   -6  44
 15 Thratewood             38  12   8  18  39  53  -14  44
 16 Barcastle Rovers       38  10   8  20  42  60  -18  38
 17 Huysegem               38   9   8  21  31  52  -21  35
 18 Crisisbless Ermac      38   9   6  23  28  67  -39  33
 19 Worthall               38   7  11  20  26  46  -20  32
 20 Virginia Treason       38   6   8  24  32  60  -28  26

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Mantlegrove                38  24   8   6  62  25  +37  80  P
  2 Pillars of Southfell       38  19  12   7  52  27  +25  69  P
  3 Stamper Road               38  20   9   9  53  34  +19  69
  4 Fischer                    38  20   7  11  54  35  +19  67
  5 Getton Town                38  18   7  13  60  47  +13  61
  6 Sandrock                   38  17   9  12  35  28   +7  60
  7 Inner-East Fairywrens      38  16  11  11  40  26  +14  59
  8 Riverkey                   38  15  13  10  51  35  +16  58
  9 Nay Town                   38  16   9  13  46  39   +7  57
 10 Rookwall                   38  15  10  13  45  41   +4  55
 11 Norpike                    38  16   7  15  41  40   +1  55
 12 Violence Tigers            38  13  14  11  35  32   +3  53
 13 Twelvetrees                38  12  11  15  32  34   -2  47
 14 East Slake                 38  10  15  13  38  45   -7  45
 15 Leo                        38  10   9  19  30  55  -25  39
 16 Harbrook United            38  11   5  22  34  53  -19  38
 17 De La Patria               38   9   8  21  35  55  -20  35
 18 Pridehome                  38   7  13  18  41  58  -17  34
 19 Markoni                    38   9   6  23  42  80  -38  33
 20 Starrian                   38   9   5  24  35  72  -37  32

by **Nephara** » Sun Apr 12, 2015 2:11 am

340 FINAL MATCHDAY BUILD-UP
The nation is blessed. While the title race is out of contention, there’s still a single Globe Cup place that any of four teams could win and, enchantingly, two relegation places to be filled by any of five teams. With Vermillion needing just a point to all but clinch fifth, however, here is a short list of the teams that could go down… as that looks to be a truly enchanting

South Laithland - 18th, 48 pts, -16 GD - vs. Chenoworth Rovers at home
”Me and the rest of the boys are keeping it simple - we beat Chenoworth at home and we stay up. And the Rovers are shit,” Ange Milner summarised with all the refreshing bluntness the Premiership represents. He might have all the tactical insight of a brick, but a haul of forty-eight to fifty-one points in a first season back isn’t bad at all. And, in Markosian and Oliver, the Southrons have the attack power that the Rovers so sorely lack. They just need a point to be safe. That said, when they faced off in the Cup semifinals, the Rovers won 4-1 on aggregate...

Chenoworth Rovers - 19th, 47 pts, -29 GD - vs. South Laithland away
The Rovers are firmly on course for the fewest goals scored of any side in the top flight. Again. Thirty is, in fact, enough to average two goals every three games. The phrase ‘isolated striker’ is a common one but it’s comparatively rarely applied to a strike partnership and the attacking midfielder behind them. They need an away win to assure their safety.

Cranequin Wanderers - 20th, 46 pts, -23 GD - vs. Crisisbless United at home
The Wanderers have had perhaps a slightly underwhelming season. “At least it’s been exciting,” captain Olga Pardew wryly told the press ahead of the new match. They’ll be hoping that a Crisisbless United side with nothing to play for is a beatable opponent, but they should have the quality to stay up. Even if they might ruefully be wondering if it’s not the wrong Cranequin side on this end of the table...

Newrook City - 21st, 45 pts, -20 GD, - vs. Goodfeather FC at home
For Newrook, it’s still entirely within their own hands. If South Laithland beats or draws the Rovers, Chenoworth is stranded on 48 points, and the Rooks have a better goal difference. If Chenoworth wins, South Laithland have 48 points, and there’s four points of goal difference seperating the two (with goals scored favouring Newrook). There’s just one problem… the resurgent Quakers have won seven in their last eight.

Vermillion Wanderers - 22nd, 44 pts, -28 GD - vs. Extreme Hills at home
It looks bleak for Vermillion, but there’s some light at the end of the tunnel. They are home, and playing the club that will prop up the division no matter what happens. But they are alone in the five in that it’s not in their hands alone, as they’re relying on two of; Newrook failing to win, Cranequin losing (or drawing, if Vermillion thump the Hounds by five goals), and Chenoworth Rovers losing. Still, they aren’t a good team, and things could still go wrong for them if Hills decide to bow out of the Premiership with a bit of pride.

And with that...

KICKOFF!
And already with a few energetic forward balls the Hounds have proven that, with nothing to lose, they might as well try and get a few goals. A string of early passes culminates in Moran crossing to Woodlark, who has to head off-balance and does well to get it on target. But it’s right into Roosevelt’s chest, and the former Rozelle goalkeeper smothers it with his typical reliability. It cuts a marked contrast to how cautious South Laithland and the Rovers are. A long shot from Penthall is the first on target of the game, and Benedict has all the time in the world to trot across the net and pluck it out of the air.

Within eight minutes, though, there is a goal - and Newrook hearts plummet as it’s Goodfeather who scores it. While the Quakers’ chances of reaching fifth are, well, mathematical at best, they’re still giving their all to finish strong in a season that looked, at first, utterly dreadful. As Newrook overcommit forward only for Lynwood’s low shot to be saved by Cath Gilchrist, the 24-year old goalkeeper quickly releases it for Rakeruth down the left, who dashes forward and gets the ball to Rettinger. Rettinger, in turn, holds up the ball until finally being able to play it to Gerhard Wrexham, charging like a leopard, who skips past Daunton and smashes through Brennan’s hands.

It’s crushing, and worse comes when, yes, in the eleventh minute Diandra Marlborough (only recently back from injury) hoofs the ball into the box and Rook Colfer beasts Fowler to head it past a flailing Kennedy. Jubilation at the Falstaff Ground… that lasts precisely two minutes before Page Garrard latches onto Cassidy Moran’s speculative lobbed pass and manages to excellently fire past Roosevelt with her first touch. Even with Hills going down, you’d fancy former Brinemouth winger Moran and the 24-year old Garrard could still do a job in the Premiership.

Newrook nearly equalise with a basically identical chance, too - this time with Beckett playing Lynwood through, but Gilchrist pulls off a fantastic save. But things look a little brighter for them after Cranequin Wanderers midfielder Behan gives the ball away cheaply to the pressing of Corderro, who breezily puts it across for Cawdor blazing along the left. Brazenly, Cawdor attempts a shot with the outside of her right boot on her first touch, but veteran goalkeeper Rothner scrambles it away. Not far enough, though, as Strachan races onto the loose ball before Kearney can clear it and hammers it home. That gives a sigh of relief to Chenoworth Rovers fans just before Peter Oliver dominates Defrank in the air, chesting the ball down to Olivia Schwarzer who fires coolly across Malone for South Laithland to pull ahead.

Amidst all this drama, it’s a hell of a game in Vermillion. Yet again, the Wanderers pull ahead, this time through some luck as Marlborough’s piledriver of a shot bounces off Bardsley, kindly for Jayce Carsten, who stabs the ball home. That’s all well and good, but it takes just six minutes for Extreme to draw level by smashing down the centre, Kestrel ‘Not Auburn Tarrant’ Batton seeing Roosevelt lingering too far from his far post and beating him with a low drive from outside the box. Espen Ulster hits a post soon afterwards, but that’s the end of the first half - and with just one of the five teams in the relegation fight winning, does any team really want this?

Or, rather, is any team actually good enough?

Cranequin Wanderers kick off during the second half, and they suddenly look good value. Simply by switching the focus to their veteran wingers and young overlapping fullbacks they shift the momentum in their favour rather than relying on an outnumbered midfield, and their immediate reward? Holt plays Hawkshaw through United rightback Markus Bren, and the Nepharim Under-21 crosses low across goal. He trusts Croft Drinkwater to get on it somehow, through his foot, his head, his knee, his throat, his arse, anything. But it’s Dirk Conomore who races ahead of the pack of defenders and smashes it into the ceiling of the net. Game on, and Chenoworth Rovers can sweat again.

Newrook City, however, look sunk - the home fans briefly glancing up from their smartphones to stop checking other scores and ironically voting Dan Shaw as Premiership Player of the Season to watch a single Tarrant pass cause a 3 v 3 situation in the Newrook box, Wrexham, Rettinger and Ironside passing rings around the Rooks defenders before Brennan overcommits forward, Daunton falls over and Ironside passes into the net. 2-0, game seemingly over. And they slide to 22nd, as Extreme Hills’ floodgates finally open as Colfer scores after a period of Vermillion dominance. That leaves Chenoworth Rovers needing to equalise, as thanks to Cranequin and Vermillion, they’re suddenly down to 21st. But South Laithland are keeping them at arm’s length, and the redoubtable Reece Benedict in the hosts’ goal is not about to do them any favours.

The Quakers score a third by way of Loxley’s penalty after Daunton brings Ironside down in the box, and Colfer completes his hattrick with a smart left-footed volley past Kennedy, and things are starting to take shape. The main viewing, however, is in Cranequin, where Crisisbless have woken up and are going for broke. And worse, Croft Drinkwater limps off with an ankle injury, but on comes Melissa Sanders - a pace merchant with 42 league goals in her prior five-season stint in the Premiership, but while her pace has deteriorated with age her composure and finishing have improved markedly in the First Division. With those two in front, the Wanderers shift tack yet again and pay immediate dividends - a long ball forward by Hawkshaw suddenly exposes the lack of pace in the away side’s defence, with Gannon and Barker a combined age of 64 (and with only 31-year old Broadbelt on the bench). Conomore and Sanders suddenly break free, Hennessey can’t figure out how to force an error, and Conomore ultimately gets a free shot on target. Crisisbless leftback Ronan Dailly miraculously manages a sliding clearance to hack it off the line, but there’s no relief, and Conomore’s there to finish the job, pumping his fists as he runs to the corner flag, as the home crowd comes alive. Cranequin are going to do it, in front of their own fans.

And as the final whistle blows, after Vermillion Wanderers get a fifth through the deserving Marlborough and celebrate, knowing that they’re safe. Ajter their local neighbours look to their phones after a 2-3 defeat to North Laithland and realise that Chatswood have, despite a late rally, failed to beat Brinemouth, and they remain in fifth. After the Rovers concede a second with the last kick of the game, substitute Brooke Miller with the perfect corner for Peter Oliver to head past Malone. After Newrook’s players hear the final whistle after just two minutes of stoppage time and sink to the ground, desperately wishing to start the day over again. After the champions are denied a smooth victory march as Jesper Lee Coleman smashes an equaliser in from twenty-four yards, with the Moths looking ahead to the Cup. And after Cranequin Wanderers claim 19th place like it’s the title itself, proving to everyone that they’re back where they deserve.

The final matches of the season run;

Premiership Final Matchday
Chatswood 2-2 Brinemouth
South Laithland 2-0 Chenoworth Rovers
Cranequin City 1-4 Crisisbless
Cranequin Wanderers 2-1 Crisisbless United
Vermillion Wanderers 5-2 Extreme Hills
Newrook City 0-3 Goodfeather FC
Coret Hawks 0-1 Maximum City
Violence Chariots 1-0 Maximum Rovers
Vermillion Rage 2-3 North Laithland
AFC Treason 2-0 Parrhesia United
Southfell United 1-2 Raven River
Sabrefell Moths 2-2 Sabrefell Athletic

CUP FINAL DAY
Sabrefell Moths: (4-4-2) Peterson; Christener, Uidhir, Yorke, Kresinger; dos Santos, Martell (c), Cliving, Coleman; Kellard, Maddon
Bench: Cronin; Kavanagh, Pembroke, Penrooke, Montag, Richter, Webber
The Moths go into the final placed eighth, in their own city, and with an almost-clean bill of health. Beck at leftback is still missing, with 18-year old Ashley Kresinger given a surprising start and her number 38 being the first thing to catch the eye. If she doesn’t pan out, then they can call on Pembroke off the bench to fill in - she’s started most of the league season, but Weixelbraun is confident that Kresinger’s defensive vulnerabilities are hardly likely to be exploited by, well, the Rovers. Needless to say they’re favourites, but the counterpunching Rovers have a few surprises despite being, well, relegated…

Chenoworth Rovers: (4-4-2 diamond) Malone; M. Breen, Lovelock, Defrank, Hartley; Parr (c); Damkjaer, North; Lotus; Essex, Hastings
Bench: Burnley; Penthall, Kinsman, Mallory, C. Breen, Sutton, Foster
A clean bill of health for the Rovers, too, though Lovelock and Parr would’ve both been suspended in the days of two yellow cards being able to suspend for a final. They have, unsurprisingly, switched up the front, with Sienna Lotus with a rare start in the hole and the clinical Darren Essex up front. Molly Breen has also won a starting berth over her sister, Cathy, likely due to being the stronger defender. Despite finishing in 21st with just 30 league goals to their name, can the Rovers at least leave on the high of a Cup?

Kick-off!
The narrative’s set, the game ready. The flowing, dominant Moths with one last chance to grab a trophy, Rachel Weixelbraun’s final audition to keep her job, the solid Rovers hoping to cling on for penalties.

The narrative wasn’t prepared for the Rovers to come out of the gates and score within two minutes.

Chenoworth was happy to come out and play at first, creating serious pressure on the midfield. Something had to give, and in this case it was Kirsten Cliving trying to find Maddon but having it be cut out by Ileana Defrank. In Project +90, they teach you to play the ball, and the Islander was no different, running forward into a Rover-flooded midfield and then hoofing it forward to Lotus. With the pass obvious to Essex, she instead goes for it herself, and her shot forces Peterson to scramble to parry it. Carlotta Hastings gets past Yorke and taps it in. The Arena is stunned.

Predictably, when Kellard rather dazedly kicks off to Maddon, the Rovers are back to holding desperately on. The Moths nearly equalise just a minute later, Kresinger’s wicked cross opening up a header for Kellard that goes right down Malone’s throat. But the Moths soon find their feet, and equalise in the twelfth - not before a slick bit of passing through the midfield, where the Moths are supposed to be outnumbered, suddenly opens an avenue for Jesper Coleman who dash forward, evade the challenge of Parr and, once he finds the space to shape to shoot, utterly belts a shot past Malone. That’s what class gets you, and it’s a goal that lets you marvel just how far the league has come. Eleven years ago the Moths tended to score whenever Rosewood belted it to Thunder’s head, time and time again. Largely through lack of other options - that was how Thunder ended up with 33 league goals and a move to Astograth. And the Moths were the best team in the league back then!

But the Rovers buckle down, and thanks to Gerry Malone (at the top of the list of players almost certain to find a Premiership home in the offseason) keep the score down to 1-1. And not without a last warning, either, as the last touch of the ball before the half-time whistle sees Hastings break past Uidhir and guide Miranda Hartley’s low cross only just off target.

In the end, though, both sides revert to form. Chenoworth is under the cosh as soon as the second half kicks off. In the seventieth minute, Juninho dos Santos beats Hartley and then cuts the ball back for a drifting run from Sasha Christener, always a crowd favourite, who smashes the ball past Malone with her first left-footed touch. It’s a demoralising goal, and Chenoworth are toothless going forward - and as Sienna Lotus’ long shot goes at least a foot high and wide, the final whistle blows. The league trophy is back in the capital… and now, for the first time in three years, so is the Cup.

SABREFELL MOTHS 2 - 1 CHENOWORTH ROVERS
Hastings 2’
Coleman 12’
Christener 71’

CEDC FINAL DAY
Blau-Weiss Pallstadt: (4-2-3-1) Erhardt; Orani, Dunford, Milosevici, Miyori; Wladecki, Riesling; Stardust, Kluszak (c), Siebel; Dalmshelf
Bench: Vullerich; Watt, Trull, Hueppe, Kozlowski, Kauppi, Muehrer
There might have been scandal. There might have been pain. There might have been the brutal murder of young centreback Abel Luchenwill by left winger Stefan Hostmann. But Pallstadt, set for a tasty reception in the Gauntlet, is more than resilient enough to bounce back from this. The Stags will know this better than anyone, given how often the two teams have played recently.

AFC Treason: Miller; Grana, Katskalidis, Marlowe, Cardiff; Portsmouth, Flaccus, Acosta (c), Connacht; Quinn, Puntoriero
Bench: Pence; Green, Schneider, Carrick, Moody, Ashdown, Rainsford
“Apoxian clubs are welcome to come back to the tournament any time they bloody want. We’ll give ‘em a real challenge - this match is gonna prove it,” Ramsey told the local press. But Treason have a clean bill of health, Callia Katskalidis who only turned 21 three months ago trusted to start even on an occasion of this size, and they’ll be desperate to avenge a domestic season in which they finished seventeen points and twenty-seven goals out of first. Narrow favourites, but only thanks to home advantage.

Kick-off!
Look through both of these sides, and you’ll see plenty of internationals. Plenty of class. And hardly any degree of skill to set them apart. You might just favour Acosta over Kluzsak, but by the same token Erhardt might edge Miller. Most neutrals would say that these two teams are the strongest in Esportiva outside of the ANL - proof that Esportiva has, in recent years, thrived after being given some space by the strongest league in the world.

Oh, and they’ve gotten to know each other well. Setting aside certain recent matches between Nephara and Buyan that may or may not have ended in Buyan winning 1-0, this is the seventh time that Treason and Pallstadt have played one another in three years. And compare the results these two sides have had on the road to the final. The Stags have beaten Matthew City 5-0 on aggregate, Real Santa Maria 7-0, Alianza FC 6-2. Pallstadt evaporated City of Star 11-0 in their first set of fixtures, with a 7-2 demolition of Newrook City not long after - and it’s important to note Newrook only got into the CEDC by beating Treason in the Cup.

Kluszak kicks off to Dalmshelf. The match begins, and immediately things get heated. It doesn’t take long before a slick move from Siebel hands Dalmshelf a chance on a platter… before Callia Katskalidis hammers him with a meaty challenge to get the ball away. Calls for a penalty are waved away, to the outrage of the Pallstadt fans and the delight of the locals. And soon enough Jan Erhardt was under siege - Flaccus testing him fiercely from 25 yards before a heavily deflected cross from Portsmouth only just went wide off Milosevici’s back.

It was a tense first half, without any clear-cut chances after Katskalidis’ world-class/dirty challenge on Dalmshelf. But in the end, it was Treason that broke through, Roque Acosta finding space down the middle to lay off a diagonal pass for Rutger Connacht down the left. With a break on the back four, he beat Orani before cutting back just as Puntoriero was running into the box. The Osarian struck it powerfully, into the underside of the crossbar and in, leaving Erhardt no chance.

Pallstadt, however, were quick to respond. Just two minutes later and Miller had already needed to get down low, hard and fast to deny Piotr Kluszak. And just five minutes later, Kluszak had played Dalmshelf into the box, with plenty of space. Katskalidis came diving in once again, Dalmshelf’s shot deflecting off her, but Siebel came running in for the rebound, tucking it with considerable power into the bottom-left corner.

The second half came and went, chances coming and going. Quinn, Dalmshelf, Stardust, Flaccus… all taking whatever half-chances they could find. Both managers called on their benches; Carrick and Green reinforcing Treason, Hueppe, Trull and Kozlowski coming up for Blau-Weiss. Both sides tired in extra time, and chances started to open up again, and Quinn missed a golden opportunity to give the Stags the lead when played through on goal, but the placed shot was weak and Erhardt scrambled it away. And so, to penalties.

Acosta tucks his spot-kick perfectly into the bottom-right.
Miller gets a hand to Kluszak’s, but it’s hit far too hard for him to make the save.
Puntoriero’s goes in off the inside of the post. A sharp intake of breath across the Gauntlet.
Inch-perfect from Dalmshelf.
Carrick’s is fairly dodgy, but Erhardt guesses the wrong way.
Riesling makes no mistake.
Erhardt guesses the right way this time. Flaccus watches in horror as his fairly solid penalty is parried away by the Buyan international.
Presented with the chance to put his team ahead, the substitute Kozlowski hits flawlessly on target.
No messing, at least, from Kurtis Quinn. He steps up and utterly belts the leather into the top-left.
And so, all the pressure on 34-year old rightback Christopher Orani. He plants the ball on the ground. He cracks his knuckles. The substantial Treason-supporting presence shouting “WANKER!” at him. But he steps forward…
… and he buries it. Blau-Weiss Pallstadt had come to a hostile ‘neutral’ stadium and, at the death, emerged triumphant. And as Piotr Kluszak lifts the trophy, not even the most partisan fan could deny they deserved it.
“Next time,” is all they say as they leave the ground. “Next time.”

BLAU-WEISS PALLSTADT 1 (5) - 1 (4) AFC TREASON
Puntoriero 61’
Siebel 68’

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                       P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Sabrefell Athletic        46  29  10   7  93  41  +52  97  Champions
  2 Brinemouth                46  25  12   9  80  49  +31  87  CC
  3 Crisisbless               46  25   9  12  79  48  +31  84  GC
  4 AFC Treason               46  22  14  10  69  44  +25  80  GC
  5 Vermillion Rage           46  21  12  13  86  70  +16  75  GC
  6 Goodfeather FC            46  24   3  19  59  47  +12  75
  7 Chatswood                 46  21  11  14  68  57  +11  74
  8 Sabrefell Moths           46  21  10  15  62  57   +5  73
  9 Violence Chariots         46  19  14  13  75  65  +10  71
 10 Maximum City              46  19  12  15  58  44  +14  69
 11 Raven River               46  18  14  14  81  65  +16  68
 12 Southfell United          46  19   9  18  69  74   -5  66
 13 North Laithland           46  19   6  21  51  63  -12  63
 14 Parrhesia United          46  16  11  19  54  51   +3  59
 15 Crisisbless United        46  16  10  20  68  80  -12  58
 16 Cranequin City            46  16  10  20  52  69  -17  58
 17 South Laithland           46  14   9  23  47  61  -14  51
 18 Maximum Rovers            46  12  15  19  45  59  -14  51
 19 Cranequin Wanderers       46  14   7  25  49  71  -22  49
 20 Vermillion Wanderers      46  12  11  23  58  83  -25  47
 21 Chenoworth Rovers         46  12  11  23  30  61  -31  47  R
 22 Newrook City              46  11  12  23  50  73  -23  45  R
 23 Coret Hawks               46   9  15  22  38  61  -23  42  R
 24 Extreme Hills             46   6  17  23  52  80  -28  35  R

TOP SCORERS
25 - C. Bray (SFA)
22 - N. Walker (VIC)
21 - Juquinho (BRI)
20 - O. Keast (CRI), O. Harrison (RVR), E. Havelund (VRR), D. Norgen (VIC)
19 - F. Keller (SFU), K. Quinn (TRE)
18 - A. Rourke (CRU), A. Gandhi (MXC), S. Maddon (SFM)
17 - D. Strauss (RVR), L. Schindler (SFU), R. Colfer (VRM)
16 - S. Arora (CRI), A. Rettinger (GDF), R. Monti (PAR), R. Gawain (SFA), M. Puntoriero (TRE), Bazinho (VRR)
15 - L. Connolly (BRI), G. Graz (CHT), B. Shea (CRC), M. Lynwood (NRK), M. Kellard (SFM)
14 - H. Matheson (COR), D. Arragne (NLA)

AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Coalan Bray (SFA)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Rowan Gawain (SFA)
Iron Fist (Debutant of the Year): Juquinho (BRI)
Team of the Year: Seward (SFA); Christener (SFM), Pryor (MXC), Marlowe (TRE), Cardiff (TRE); Portsmouth (TRE), Breton (BRI), Gawain (SFA), Connolly (BRI); Bray (SFA), Walker (VIC)- Bench: Miller (TRE); Everheart (BRI), Breen (SFA), Knutsen (CRI), St. Cleer (CRI), Oehman (SFA), Juquinho (BRI)
Manager of the Year: Miriam Aragon (SFA)

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Bishop                       46  31   7   8  90  41  +49 100  P
  2 Starling                     46  29  12   5  90  40  +50  99  P
  3 Iron City                    46  27  12   7  60  24  +36  93  P
  4 Ritter Town                  46  29   5  12  73  39  +34  92  P
  5 AFC Serpentine               46  26  10  10  81  43  +38  88
  6 West Brinemouth              46  25  10  11  62  27  +35  85
  7 Chenoworth Harriers          46  24  11  11  69  44  +25  83
  8 Sheridan                     46  20  13  13  43  32  +11  73
  9 Creed United                 46  21   6  19  58  55   +3  69
 10 AFC Shale                    46  17  13  16  41  40   +1  64
 11 Cypher Town                  46  16  14  16  51  48   +3  62
 12 Corvette Maulers             46  17  11  18  66  67   -1  62
 13 Dross Rovers                 46  15  14  17  41  52  -11  59
 14 Sutcroft                     46  14  15  17  42  58  -16  57
 15 Martella Jazz                46  15  11  20  62  66   -4  56
 16 Locksley                     46  14  11  21  53  73  -20  53
 17 Leichhardt                   46  13  13  20  32  44  -12  52
 18 Iron United                  46  12  12  22  40  57  -17  48
 19 Ox River United              46  12   8  26  37  55  -18  44
 20 Rochford                     46  11   8  27  31  62  -31  41
 21 Boleyn Town                  46   9  13  24  34  76  -42  40  R
 22 West Hook                    46   9  11  26  31  60  -29  38  R
 23 Mainstream Fist              46   7  14  25  54  92  -38  35  R
 24 East Laithland Harriers      46   8   8  30  46  92  -46  32  R

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Brookford Otters           46  28   8  10  76  34  +42  92  P
  2 Rhagant Schadenfreude      46  28   7  11  59  27  +32  91  P
  3 Franchise FC               46  24  14   8  67  41  +26  86  P
  4 Corby Hubris               46  25   9  12  71  44  +27  84  P
  5 North Sabrefell            46  25   6  15  95  65  +30  81
  6 South Parrhesia            46  21  13  12  72  53  +19  76
  7 Armstrong                  46  21  13  12  58  39  +19  76
  8 Crossroads Town            46  20  12  14  62  52  +10  72
  9 Project +90                46  21   8  17  65  57   +8  71
 10 Strephonage                46  20   9  17  63  43  +20  69
 11 Hackett                    46  18  11  17  76  56  +20  65
 12 Gridlock Rovers            46  12  22  12  55  59   -4  58
 13 Belgrave                   46  13  18  15  45  52   -7  57
 14 Crisisbless Athletic       46  16   9  21  49  67  -18  57
 15 Iberia Chenoworth          46  17   5  24  55  63   -8  56
 16 Dubstep Rangers            46  15  10  21  44  61  -17  55
 17 Coret Rovers               46  13  15  18  49  56   -7  54
 18 Masculine Town             46  15   9  22  40  58  -18  54
 19 Kensey Town                46  14  12  20  58  78  -20  54
 20 Rushe United               46  15   7  24  54  83  -29  52
 21 Senway Town                46  12  10  24  43  70  -27  46  R
 22 Long Lake                  46   8  16  22  36  66  -30  40  R
 23 North Dubstep              46  10  10  26  48  84  -36  40  R
 24 Gridlock East              46   9  11  26  35  67  -32  38  R

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                     P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Fenland Albion          46  30   5  11  77  37  +40  95  P
  2 Brindleton              46  25  10  11  73  43  +30  85  P
  3 Brookway Town           46  26   5  15  77  36  +41  83  P
  4 South Brill             46  23  14   9  69  42  +27  83  P
  5 Chaker Town             46  23  13  10  65  42  +23  82
  6 Falston Town            46  24   9  13  77  47  +30  81
  7 Diamondqueen            46  21  13  12  68  47  +21  76
  8 Morningstar             46  19  16  11  62  48  +14  73
  9 Sutcroft Athletic       46  19  13  14  54  45   +9  70
 10 Stonegrave              46  18  14  14  44  50   -6  68
 11 Blaze                   46  17  13  16  77  71   +6  64
 12 Forge Carpenters        46  15  16  15  41  48   -7  61
 13 Downsparrow             46  15  14  17  48  58  -10  59
 14 Greygate                46  15  13  18  44  55  -11  58
 15 Dartmouth Terriers      46  14  11  21  49  59  -10  53
 16 FC United               46  14  11  21  54  65  -11  53
 17 Vermillion Spite        46  13  14  19  55  71  -16  53
 18 Gridlock                46  11  16  19  43  55  -12  49
 19 Bellamy                 46  11  13  22  44  65  -21  46
 20 Bodkin Road             46  12  10  24  36  58  -22  46
 21 Ringway                 46  10  16  20  44  74  -30  46  R
 22 The Strongest           46  11  11  24  68  95  -27  44  R
 23 Lackerrun               46   8  18  20  56  89  -33  42  R
 24 Reckdale Town           46  10   8  28  55  80  -25  38  R

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Kommissar              38  24   8   6  67  37  +30  80  P
  2 Southriver             38  24   6   8  58  31  +27  78  P
  3 Courser                38  22   9   7  69  37  +32  75
  4 Camwell Road           38  20   9   9  57  35  +22  69
  5 Geoff United           38  20   6  12  48  32  +16  66
  6 Grovebank              38  17  11  10  53  35  +18  62
  7 Harrington             38  18   7  13  54  39  +15  61
  8 Haymaker Town          38  16  10  12  37  29   +8  58
  9 The Hanged Man         38  16   9  13  39  33   +6  57
 10 Ramsay                 38  18   2  18  46  45   +1  56
 11 Stekelenbright         38  16   5  17  33  38   -5  53
 12 Perrett                38  14   6  18  32  49  -17  48
 13 Norton Road            38  11  12  15  45  52   -7  45
 14 Tryst Athletic         38  11  11  16  43  49   -6  44
 15 Thratewood             38  12   8  18  39  53  -14  44
 16 Barcastle Rovers       38  10   8  20  42  60  -18  38
 17 Huysegem               38   9   8  21  31  52  -21  35
 18 Crisisbless Ermac      38   9   6  23  28  67  -39  33
 19 Worthall               38   7  11  20  26  46  -20  32
 20 Virginia Treason       38   6   8  24  32  60  -28  26

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Mantlegrove                38  24   8   6  62  25  +37  80  P
  2 Pillars of Southfell       38  19  12   7  52  27  +25  69  P
  3 Stamper Road               38  20   9   9  53  34  +19  69
  4 Fischer                    38  20   7  11  54  35  +19  67
  5 Getton Town                38  18   7  13  60  47  +13  61
  6 Sandrock                   38  17   9  12  35  28   +7  60
  7 Inner-East Fairywrens      38  16  11  11  40  26  +14  59
  8 Riverkey                   38  15  13  10  51  35  +16  58
  9 Nay Town                   38  16   9  13  46  39   +7  57
 10 Rookwall                   38  15  10  13  45  41   +4  55
 11 Norpike                    38  16   7  15  41  40   +1  55
 12 Violence Tigers            38  13  14  11  35  32   +3  53
 13 Twelvetrees                38  12  11  15  32  34   -2  47
 14 East Slake                 38  10  15  13  38  45   -7  45
 15 Leo                        38  10   9  19  30  55  -25  39
 16 Harbrook United            38  11   5  22  34  53  -19  38
 17 De La Patria               38   9   8  21  35  55  -20  35
 18 Pridehome                  38   7  13  18  41  58  -17  34
 19 Markoni                    38   9   6  23  42  80  -38  33
 20 Starrian                   38   9   5  24  35  72  -37  32

by **Nephara** » Fri May 01, 2015 3:02 am

340 NIHA FIRST DIVISION PREVIEW

Pos                       P   W  D  L GF  GA  GD   Pts
 1 Sabrefell United       76 48  9 19 262 160 +102 153
 2 Vermillion Glory       76 44 11 21 290 227 +63  143
 3 HC Treason             76 41 18 17 211 142 +69  141
 4 Laith United           76 40 10 26 270 216 +54  130
 5 Chatswood              76 39  9 28 185 162 +23  126
 6 HC Maximum             76 38  8 30 159 137 +22  122
 7 Crisisbless            76 35 15 26 187 156 +31  120
 8 Brinemouth City        76 36  9 31 197 177 +20  117
 9 Northern Vale          76 33 16 27 220 180 +40  115
10 Cranequin Rovers       76 32 13 31 197 192 +5   109
11 Iron Athletic          76 31 12 33 139 150 −11  105
12 Leichhardt City        76 31 10 35 145 149 −4   103
13 Chenoworth             76 30 13 33 172 185 −13  103
14 HC Creed               76 27 15 34 205 198 +7   96
15 Cypher                 76 27 15 34 137 163 −26  96
16 Coret                  76 26 12 38 166 207 −41  90
17 Macambre River         76 26 10 40 167 213 −46  88
18 Southfell              76 21 13 42 187 260 −73  76
19 HC Sheridan            76 18 10 48 143 258 −115 64
20 Locksley Town          76 17 12 47 131 238 −107 63

The first season of a new, professional era of Nepharim ice hockey was a resounding success. Crowds were high at the start and sustained throughout the season as the quality was high enough to inspire the public. Hockey is now, proudly, very much an active presence in the Nepharim conscious. Even weak clubs like Sheridan or Locksley found small but faithful followings, and their administrators confirm that they run sustainably.

Sensationally, the NIHA secured an early, informal relationship with the Quebecois league - a genuine powerhouse of the sport. Four players from Nephara’s World Cup squad were signed to lucrative contracts abroad, while HC Treason claims the league’s first marquee signing. 31-year old right winger Alexandre Rioux was bought from the Kingston Knights, an exciting forward not far past his prime with four titles under his belt. Despite Sigrid Carrick having left the other way, it makes them comfortable favourites for the coming season. But there’s always room for surprises…

Finally, the simple matter of changes. Last season in the state leagues saw a pick of 20 chosen to form a national Second Division. While some of these are semi-professional (though the expectation is a fully-professional second tier within three years), the most distinguished of these old sides such as Riverside, the Hanged Man or Maximum Warriors are raring to get to the top tier. Central Sabrefell-based Riverside in particular are very … vocal about their opinions on the new, ‘plastic’ clubs. The top three will be promoted. The addition of a NIHA Cup is also universally admired. The first round will consist of the 72 state league clubs before the national teams filter in through later rounds, and the prize for the winner is one of the four Champions’ Cup places. This adds to the commitments of an already tightly-packed season that, on top of this, has international commitments for the first time for last season’s top four. It all adds to the atmosphere, and it’s going to be a hell of a season.

The future is looking bright for Nepharim hockey.

by **Nephara** » Sat May 02, 2015 2:12 am

FIRST DIVISION

Pos                         Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Vermillion Glory       76   45   9  22   294  227  +67   144  Champions
 2 HC Treason             76   43  11  22   224  155  +69   140  HCL
 3 Sabrefell United       76   42  12  22   232  174  +58   138  HCL
 4 HC Maximum             76   41  13  22   183  150  +33   136  HCL
 5 Crisisbless            76   42   6  28   236  180  +56   132
 6 Chatswood              76   39  12  25   212  175  +37   129
 7 Laith United           76   40   7  29   283  247  +36   127
 8 Chenoworth             76   35  13  28   184  153  +31   118
 9 Cranequin Rovers       76   33  10  33   211  211    0   109
10 HC Creed               76   31  14  31   186  194   −8   107
11 Northern Vale          76   29  14  33   247  246   +1   101
12 Iron Athletic          76   30  10  36   162  154   +8   100
13 Macambre River         76   28  11  37   198  234  −36    95
14 Coret                  76   25  17  34   179  190  −11    92
15 Brinemouth City        76   26  13  37   219  243  −24    91
16 HC Sheridan            76   26  13  37   171  222  −51    91
17 Leichhardt City        76   27   9  40   150  188  −38    90
18 Southfell              76   24  13  39   224  262  −38    85  R
19 Cypher                 76   24   9  43   135  208  −73    81  R
20 Locksley               76   16  12  48   127  244 −117    60  R

SECOND DIVISION

Pos                         Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Maximum Warriors       76   47  12  17   194  139  +55   153  P
 2 The Hanged Man         76   45  10  21   194  125  +69   145  P
 3 Scaleplain Rovers      76   42  10  24   247  200  +47   136  P
 4 Southern Hellions      76   36  14  26   306  246  +60   122
 5 Serif                  76   35  15  26   222  191  +31   120
 6 Riverside              76   38   6  32   198  171  +27   120
 7 Shale                  76   38   6  32   161  150  +11   120
 8 Escutcheon             76   33  14  29   228  187  +41   113
 9 Brinemouth Saracens    76   33  12  31   203  190  +13   111
10 HC Schadenfreude       76   30  12  34   184  209  −25   102
11 Harriers HC            76   30  11  35   187  222  −35   101
12 Raeburn Wanderers      76   28  14  34   238  245   −7    98
13 Falconhead             76   29  11  36   180  191  −11    98
14 Eastbank               76   26  18  32   223  225   −2    96
15 Treason Phalanx        76   29   9  38   102  133  −31    96
16 Alpha Chenoworth       76   28  12  36   145  180  −35    96
17 Violence               76   28  10  38   151  173  −22    94
18 East Coast Rovers      76   25   9  42   187  267  −80    84
19 Iskander Ridge         76   22  15  39   153  197  −44    81
20 Cullen Avenue          76   24   8  44   167  229  −62    80

CROWNSEND

Pos                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Crownsend Warriors       66   40   8  18   165   93  +72   128
 2 Treason Rovers           66   37  13  16   171  117  +54   124
 3 Chatswood Gulls          66   37  10  19   194  161  +33   121
 4 Serpentine Wanderers     66   34   9  23   237  170  +67   111
 5 Treason City             66   32  11  23   170  164   +6   107
 6 HC Harridan              66   27  12  27   197  209  −12    93
 7 Southcage                66   26   9  31   140  156  −16    87
 8 Extreme Bandersnatches   66   24  10  32   223  214   +9    82
 9 Terracotta               66   23  11  32   127  145  −18    80
10 CBD Robins               66   18  11  37   148  196  −48    65
11 Grath Wolves             66   17  13  36   154  207  −53    64
12 Western Outskirts        66   19   7  40   200  294  −94    64

ARIES

Pos                          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 HC Diamondqueen         66   38  10  18   205  146  +59   124
 2 Sheridan Corsairs       66   38   8  20   234  179  +55   122
 3 APYN Sabrefell          66   35  12  19   234  170  +64   117
 4 Sabrefell City          66   31   9  26   175  158  +17   102
 5 Sabrefell Teutons       66   29  10  27   148  152   −4    97
 6 West Sabrefell Rams     66   28  12  26   141  130  +11    96
 7 Southfell Warriors      66   28  11  27   140  139   +1    95
 8 Raven River Ferrymen    66   28  10  28   164  177  −13    94
 9 Inner-West Cormorants   66   28   9  29   172  174   −2    93
10 Sabrefell Souths        66   23  13  30   166  188  −22    82
11 Corby Rovers            66   17  10  39   132  198  −66    61
12 Westkey                 66   11  10  45   117  217 −100    43

CHARDONNAY

Pos                          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Goodfeather Wolves      66   41  16   9   208  111  +97   139
 2 Grovebank               66   32  11  23   165  148  +17   107
 3 HC Crisisbless          66   32  11  23   141  137   +4   107
 4 HC Southriver           66   31  12  23   185  146  +39   105
 5 Mirren                  66   29  18  19   159  146  +13   105
 6 Chardonnay Reavers      66   31  11  24   181  140  +41   104
 7 East Crisisbless        66   27  15  24   141  129  +12    96
 8 Leichhardt Town         66   25  13  28   112  112    0    88
 9 HC Corvette             66   24   9  33   157  172  −15    81
10 Crisisbless City        66   21   9  36   115  160  −45    72
11 Saunderbank             66   14  17  35   124  190  −66    59
12 Chequerage              66   12  12  42   145  242  −97    48

PARRHESIA

Pos                          Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Vermillion Victory      54   35   3  16   183  130  +53   108
 2 Cruickshank             54   30   6  18   209  164  +45    96
 3 Vermillion City         54   28   6  20   134  121  +13    90
 4 Vermillion Ardour       54   26   6  22   191  165  +26    84
 5 Morningstar             54   24  12  18   141  132   +9    84
 6 Parrhesia Brewers       54   25   4  25   161  132  +29    79
 7 Docklands               54   21  11  22   144  159  −15    74
 8 Rookwall                54   16   8  30   106  143  −37    56
 9 Tanqueray               54   15   7  32   120  183  −63    52
10 Riverkey Rovers         54   14   9  31   133  193  −60    51

TRIDENT

Pos                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Mantlegrove              54   29   6  19   133   96  +37    93
 2 Shinepike                54   28   8  18   121   86  +35    92
 3 Burgundy Thistle         54   27  11  16   135  113  +22    92
 4 Ashgarden                54   27  10  17   145  128  +17    91
 5 West Cranequin           54   28   6  20    97   91   +6    90
 6 Cranequin Stallions      54   24  11  19   143  137   +6    83
 7 Festival Grounds         54   25   5  24   130  131   −1    80
 8 Cranequin Hounds         54   17  15  22   127  133   −6    66
 9 Last Hope                54   13   6  35    63  113  −50    45
10 Looseleaf                54    9   8  37    71  137  −66    35

FADDEN

Pos                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 HC Greygate              54   31  13  10   155  109  +46   106
 2 HC Umbershore            54   30   9  15   137   82  +55    99
 3 Stonewall                54   28  12  14   123   83  +40    96
 4 HC Belmore               54   26   7  21   143  110  +33    85
 5 Chenoworth Warriors      54   23   9  22   111  109   +2    78
 6 Chenoworth Saints        54   21   8  25   120  130  −10    71
 7 Rovers HC                54   20   8  26   162  188  −26    68
 8 Jekyll Park              54   15  10  29   104  127  −23    55
 9 Garthside Wolves         54   16   7  31   129  194  −65    55
10 Halepike Sharks          54   14   9  31    93  145  −52    51

LAZULI COAST

Pos                           Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Brookford                54   32  11  11   169  111  +58   107
 2 Coret Wardens            54   30   7  17   162  125  +37    97
 3 Brinemouth Rovers        54   28   9  17   172  134  +38    93
 4 Markoni Sashes           54   25  13  16   114  110   +4    88
 5 HC Rochford              54   26  10  18    95   92   +3    88
 6 Rochford Town            54   21   7  26   106  125  −19    70
 7 Aitch Kay                54   18   9  27    84  102  −18    63
 8 Fischer Town             54   17  11  26   123  134  −11    62
 9 Brinemouth Athletic      54   15   9  30   122  160  −38    54
10 The Lighthouse           54   11   8  35    79  133  −54    41

Another successful season, though Treason will have to wait another year for a trophy they feel was theirs by right. Sadly, high hopes for a Cup tournament were derailed by simple logistical concerns, many state league teams simply unable to fit cross-country travel into their schedules. NIHA vows to keep planning towards that goal, but at least the HCL proved a success for Nepharim sides. Granted, Nephara’s club coefficient is second-to-last of all its participants, but for a nation so recently professionalised, for Sabrefell United or Treason to be going to foreign grounds and coming away with wins? It’s a massive success for the sport. The season itself provided more overachievement for Vermillion Glory somehow firing themselves to a title despite what looked on paper to be Treason dominance, while Laith United failed to cope with the loss of Beresford and lost their HCL place accordingly - HC Maximum will take it gladly. HC Sheridan, sensationally, avoided relegation despite what was largely held to be the worst squad in the First Division - the likes of Cypher and Southfell, one thinks, will be picked to the bone by surviving clubs. Riverside, meanwhile, couldn’t make good on their promises of revenge and failed to win promotion. Not a good year for Sabrefell. Either way - another season, another step forward in Nepharim hockey, and another step closer to being a genuine contender in the international spectrum.

Nephara (NPH) HCL qualifiers
Vermillion Glory, HC Treason, Sabrefell United, HC Maximum

by **Nephara** » Sat Jun 13, 2015 2:56 pm

341 Season Preview

LAST SEASON’S STANDINGS

Pos Team                       P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Sabrefell Athletic        46  29  10   7  93  41  +52  97  Champions
  2 Brinemouth                46  25  12   9  80  49  +31  87  CC
  3 Crisisbless               46  25   9  12  79  48  +31  84  GC
  4 AFC Treason               46  22  14  10  69  44  +25  80  GC
  5 Vermillion Rage           46  21  12  13  86  70  +16  75  GC
  6 Goodfeather FC            46  24   3  19  59  47  +12  75
  7 Chatswood                 46  21  11  14  68  57  +11  74
  8 Sabrefell Moths           46  21  10  15  62  57   +5  73
  9 Violence Chariots         46  19  14  13  75  65  +10  71
 10 Maximum City              46  19  12  15  58  44  +14  69
 11 Raven River               46  18  14  14  81  65  +16  68
 12 Southfell United          46  19   9  18  69  74   -5  66
 13 North Laithland           46  19   6  21  51  63  -12  63
 14 Parrhesia United          46  16  11  19  54  51   +3  59
 15 Crisisbless United        46  16  10  20  68  80  -12  58
 16 Cranequin City            46  16  10  20  52  69  -17  58
 17 South Laithland           46  14   9  23  47  61  -14  51
 18 Maximum Rovers            46  12  15  19  45  59  -14  51
 19 Cranequin Wanderers       46  14   7  25  49  71  -22  49
 20 Vermillion Wanderers      46  12  11  23  58  83  -25  47
 21 Chenoworth Rovers         46  12  11  23  30  61  -31  47  R
 22 Newrook City              46  11  12  23  50  73  -23  45  R
 23 Coret Hawks               46   9  15  22  38  61  -23  42  R
 24 Extreme Hills             46   6  17  23  52  80  -28  35  R

  1 Bishop                       46  31   7   8  90  41  +49 100  P
  2 Starling                     46  29  12   5  90  40  +50  99  P
  3 Iron City                    46  27  12   7  60  24  +36  93  P
  4 Ritter Town                  46  29   5  12  73  39  +34  92  P
  5 AFC Serpentine               46  26  10  10  81  43  +38  88
  6 West Brinemouth              46  25  10  11  62  27  +35  85

TOP SCORERS
25 - C. Bray (SFA)
22 - N. Walker (VIC)
21 - Juquinho (BRI)
20 - O. Keast (CRI), O. Harrison (RVR), E. Havelund (VRR), D. Norgen (VIC)
19 - F. Keller (SFU), K. Quinn (TRE)
18 - A. Rourke (CRU), A. Gandhi (MXC), S. Maddon (SFM)
17 - D. Strauss (RVR), L. Schindler (SFU), R. Colfer (VRM)
16 - S. Arora (CRI), A. Rettinger (GDF), R. Monti (PAR), R. Gawain (SFA), M. Puntoriero (TRE), Bazinho (VRR)
15 - L. Connolly (BRI), G. Graz (CHT), B. Shea (CRC), M. Lynwood (NRK), M. Kellard (SFM)
14 - H. Matheson (COR), D. Arragne (NLA)

AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Coalan Bray (SFA)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Rowan Gawain (SFA)
Iron Fist (Debutant of the Year): Juquinho (BRI)
Team of the Year: Seward (SFA); Christener (SFM), Pryor (MXC), Marlowe (TRE), Cardiff (TRE); Portsmouth (TRE), Breton (BRI), Gawain (SFA), Connolly (BRI); Bray (SFA), Walker (VIC)- Bench: Miller (TRE); Everheart (BRI), Breen (SFA), Knutsen (CRI), St. Cleer (CRI), Oehman (SFA), Juquinho (BRI)
Manager of the Year: Miriam Aragon (SFA)

by **Nephara** » Sat Jun 13, 2015 3:00 pm

by **Nephara** » Sat Jun 13, 2015 3:02 pm

by **Nephara** » Wed Jun 17, 2015 3:59 am

Not too much to report as the season warms up, yet to officially start. Treason and Vermillion breeze through, but Brinemouth disappointingly crash out against Xistrumbigonça of Dainer, edged on away goals after a home defeat.

Finally… the season, hotly-awaited, kicks off. And in the very first round, Sabrefell Athletic are already taking on AFC Treason! Puntoriero volleys home a perfect Connacht cross for the first goal, but Athletic hit them on the counterattack just as they look to threaten a second. Bray loops a header over Russell Miller, and it remains 1-1 until the 89th minute… a perfect series of passes bypassing the entire back four, with Reiter making a diagonal run unmarked, Gawain passing forward to her, and the young right winger sweeping the ball into the net. Perfect. The first goal of the new campaign is scored by Chatswood, however - Harald Matheson taking just two minutes to open his account for his new club, and Iron City’s already getting that sinking feeling. Fans of North Laithland are treated to an uncharacteristically solid performance at the back, Chloe Rudden sealing the deal in the 41st minute by clipping a shot past Roosevelt, but they’re also treated to the substitute appearance in the 81st minute of a ruffled-looking, slightly… ‘fluffy’ number 10, Anderson Sandro. Number 10? Wasn’t that Jayce Carsten? As it turned out, he demanded that squad number for himself. Sure, Carsten had been with the club since she was 23, but he needed the number 10. Apparently. He gets two touches, doing fuck-all with either of them.

Not much to say, except that Brinemouth have opened the season pretty terribly. Bundled out of the Champions’ Cup by a Daineri side before an unconvincing 1-0 win over Ritter Town, and now playing with fire against Gabelona. They need to get their act together. Treason play out a dull draw with a resilient Mallox who looked dangerous on the counter-attack, but at least Vermillion Rage get the job done. Fly out, big Sigmund Levy sticks the ball in the net twice, fly back.

Vermillion Wanderers already look shambolic, and simply get murdered 4-0 at home by a less-than-rampant Maximum City. Trystan Fitzpatrick gets his first two goals for his club, but given that he was totally unmarked for either, does it really count? Meanwhile, no sooner have Sabrefell Athletic repelled AFC Treason than they’ve been forced to go to Gargoyle’s Court to take on Sabrefell Moths. Again, an early scare when Curio equalises in the 37th minute, and the Moths overall look the better team in the first half. Again, victory secured in the second with goals from Oehman and Gawain. They’re looking good so far… meanwhile, Brinemouth beat up Iron City 3-0 emphatically, Crisisbless edge South Laithland without ever conceding a shot on target, and AFC Treason… well, they succumb to Christian Beckcamp’s powerful drive in the 79th minute, losing 1-0 at home to the Saints. Not looking good so far for the Stags.

Easy victory for a rotated Vermillion Rage, though they concede twice. Brinemouth aren’t so lucky, despite having their best squad line up against Gabelona. They draw, and crash out. Treason look to be in for a rough ride when Baptista’s perfect pass lays it on for Engstroem to fire low past Miller. The Nepharim fight back, though - Acosta hits a post, then Cheney Portsmouth goes one better, looking first to fire in a diagonal cross before simply breaking past Ombudsman and smashing the ball past Tobias Umpton in goal. Portsmouth, later nominated man of the match over any of Treason’s big names, provides the cross that Quinn defies all reasonable expectations from his height to rise over Brandon Duguid and glance into the net, and Mallox are left to press for two goals. They manage one, in injury time - Engstroem again, clipping a 20-yard shot past Miller - but Treason still progress on away goals.

It was inevitable. Diandra Marlborough beats Bren, scans ahead of her for yellow shirts, and cuts it back to… yes, Anderson Sandro, the big number 10. With remarkable skill and a sway of the hips, he beats Curran and smashes the ball emphatically into the top corner - it’s the Wanderers’ first goal of the campaign! But despite Matraxis adding to the scoreline, they choke, and Crisisbless United level in the second half while being unlucky not to win outright. In a worrying sign for Starling, who are yet to win, Brinemouth vents their UICA frustrations on them with a masterclass of annihilation. Erica Karling looks dodgy in goal while the back four aren’t mobile enough to cope with Brinemouth’s fluid passing, and it ends 6-0.

A very disappointing pair of results, Vermillion edged away and Treason falling to a late goal at home. Still, fans of both sides are optimistic. There’s still a home leg for Vermillion against weaker opposition, and Treason should surely win conclusively away, right… ?

Bruce Shea, whose form was the main question people were asking of Cranequin City, allays some fears by putting two past Dan Keel - one a driving header, the other a powerful shot from 15 yards that went in off the underside of the crossbar. Roy Chalker’s direct free kick is enough to finish off a poor Iron City, who could probably stand to get their shit together. But at least they have a win to their names. Starling… don’t, succumbing 2-1 to South Laithland in what already feels like a relegation six-pointer.

The less said about these two defeats, the better. It’s up to the two directly-qualifying teams now; Athletic in the Champions Cup, Crisisbless in the Globe Cup.

Treason still seems to be suffering a hangover from their Globe Cup defeat. Crisisbless lead 1-0 at the break through Espen Knutsen, but it should really be 3 or 4 - Miller keeps down the scoreline after being directly culpable for one of the Willox Street goals. Treason fight back in the second, getting a barely-deserved equaliser in the 71st minute through a hell of a strike from Rutger Connacht. Meanwhile, in the east of the same city, the Chessmen utterly destroy Southfell United. It’s 5-0 in the first half, though to their credit (and after three substitutions) the Tanners fight their way back to a marginally more respectable scoreline. That’s the sort of form to take into an away fixture against the defending champions.

Crisisbless United aren’t feeling goalshy. But despite constantly annihilating Sabrefell Athletic’s back four, passing rings around them (though the direct option works fine for a couple of Rourke headers), Athletic… well, they score five in the second half to come from a 3-3 draw to an 8-4 home win. The slightly dazed home crowd isn’t quite sure what happened, but they love it. Six different goalscorers for the Reds, no less, and when substitute Alysia Dorne rounds Hennessey and stabs the ball into the net it sets a record. 12 goals is the most any single Premiership game in the modern era has seen, overtaking a 9-2 North Laithland win over Chenoworth Harriers in 334. Less of a goal frenzy in Treason - Ritter, somehow, manage to win 2-1 away. Jack Warwick (a former Brinemouth man) headed a Bran Tailor cross (once of Crisisbless) past Miller, but Quinn equalised just five minutes later, weaving past the Stallions’ defence like it isn’t there. But it’s the players with big-team experience who come to Ritter Town’s rescue again, Doug Rinehart (Northern Union) rising for an inch-perfect corner from Darren Parrett (Sabrefell Athletic, and the national team). Treason stunned in front of their home fans, but Ritter take a significant and unexpected three points.

The Passerines have been getting the shit kicked out of them routinely, and have one point and two goals from six games. But thanks in large part to Karl Finnan, they hold out against AFC Treason - a 71st minute thunderbolt from Flaccus that goes in off a stanchion looks to put them down, but after getting into the mood with a snap-shot that grazed the outside of a post, Konrad Braunbier finally gets the service he needs and thumps the ball into the net with his second touch. Still, they need to improve. So do both Maximum sides, each of them with goal-shy Cosumarite strikers, playing out a dull scoreless draw. Nothing dull in Ritter, though, as the Stableground sees a cataclysmic 7-2 thumping. Curio and Maddon up front both notch up hat-tricks, Juninho dos Santos striking home the spare, but Ritter have their own teeth with goals for Parrett and Purrington.

Catheline Harper returns at last for Maximum Rovers, managing the last 23 minutes of a dull home defeat to Crisisbless United. They kept exceptionally tight at the back, but had absolutely nothing up front, and the game was sealed by a searing long shot from Rebecca Strachan. They don’t get quite the same luck as others in a day for late equalisers and winners. Brinemouth need a glancing header from Stephen Mahoney in the 86th minute to bring down Vermillion Wanderers, Iron City’s hopes of an away win at the champions (after just two shots all game) are dashed in the 89th minute when Merry Reiter skims a shot past Keel, and Theodora Covenant breaks free of her markers in the 91st minute to latch onto Rafferty’s forward ball and slides it past Marciak to salvage a point against Crisisbless.

Two crap defences and two theoretically-strong attacks in the (other) Vermillion derby sounds like a sure recipe for excitement? Well… no. Everyone’s final ball seems a little off, and nobody can finish their chances, lending the entire afternoon a slightly frustrating feel. Chatswood vs. Maximum Rovers unsurprisingly ends up in a brawl - Matheson scores a great goal in the 17th minute somewhat overshadowed by Hildebrandt and Rosler arguing over who should have had him covered. Dobrovolskas, to his credit, runs over to try and help resolve this, but a wayward gesture from the colossal Hildebrandt catches him in the face. By the time Catheline Harper has finally seperated everyone in the brawl that ensues (and mysteriously involves three sky blue shirts), the tone for the match has already been said, and Gustaf Graz nets a second. Marten Akerman, at least, nets his first of the season as he finds Harper’s cross, but… bad signs for the Rovers. At least their local rivals are doing worse, and manager Erica Brewer’s former boss is doing better - Crisisbless utterly clean out Maximum City, 3-0. Luxulya St. Cleer continues to dominate in a holding role, Knutsen (who scores one and assists two) continues to dazzle at the point of the diamond. Bishop’s remarkable 2-1 win over the defending champions is largely overshadowed.

First win of the season for Maximum Rovers, who have been… not great, so far. Still struggling to adapt to Brewer’s system, or just crap? The jury is out. Meanwhile, Vermillion have won all but one match so far (which they’ve drawn) while Brinemouth have eight wins of their own. Vermillion are home, though, and Brinemouth have been terrible in UICA. So what happens? Uh… a 6-1 win for the Dockers, Juquinho personally accounting for four, apparently. A Crisisbless derby sees an early goal for Osric Keast, who has established himself as a club favourite, and it looks like the Heelers will cruise to victory when Samantha Rhinestone is harshly sent off for a bad, but not violent, tackle. Fortunately for United, the referee evidently feels remorse for his actions - after the Chessmen bravely hold out for 60 minutes, a terrible penalty decision goes their way as Nodtveit lightly brushes against Cawdor, and it’s ruled impedement. Corderro puts it away, and both teams walk away with a point.

Athletic face arguably the strongest team in the world in FC Endeavour at home, a side that Armando Quillisi (who has looked worth every penny so far) knows all too well. Bravely, Miriam Aragon sends out her team to attack, and buoyed by the home crowd they get a goal within six minutes, Gawain with a forward ball to Bray, who brings the defence with him as Ballard closes in before cleverly cutting sideways to Merry Reiter, who has a tap-in. Ole Oehman manages a powerful drive in off the underside of the crossbar in the 28th minute to double the Reds’ lead, sending the home support into raptures. But they can’t hold out - Tôr’s cross is perfect for big Danny Leighton, rising powerfully above Matt Breen to head home in the 44th minute. Endeavour dominate the second half, though Athletic threaten on the counter, and as Seward and Hamilton prove their worth the limited Breen plays out of his skin. Still - the goal’s inevitable, and ultimately it’s Teran who smashes home after a silky eleven-pass attacking move by the visitors. Crisisbless go a goal down and look unsettled by Atletico Nacional, Bolivar’s header putting the hosts in the driving seat, but something Shale says evidently raises their spirits. Playing without fear, though their strikers are marked down, the midfield dominates - a Kilbane goal gives Crisisbless a deserved point.

Starling get their first win! It’s a… startlingly emphatic one, but Maxine Lynwood gets her first (and then second) goals of the season with placed snap-shots. The pace of Lynwood and Braunbier - pace totally absent from Starling’s own defence - causes the Smiths problems throughout. The ‘friendly derby’ between South and North Laithland ends in a thrilling draw, Cheney Markosian giving the hosts a lead at half-time, but as Rudden and Archer look to have pulled the game back for the Spiders a powerful cross by Seneca Matthews is emphatically met by the head of big Peter Oliver, the 35-year old on as a substitute and making an immediate impact just two minutes into his cameo. As far as the top of the table goes? Brinemouth and Treason play out a fiery encounter - Carragher (notably, formerly of Maximum City) sent off for the Dockers at 3-1 up with 70 minutes played. But despite a Quinn header in the 86th minute, Treason can’t make their advantage tell, and continue a disappointing start to the season.

And the Cup kicks off with the usual variety of teams from the fourth and fifth tiers of the pyramid. Newly-promoted sides Peregrine and the Fully Sick XI are both defeated, however - the former suffering a chastening defeat to Third Diviision Greygate, 4-1, the latter edged by Southriver. The Strongest might specialise in a 2-3-5 formation hell-bent to score as many as possible, and yet… a Mantlegrove side that has gone 1-6-4 so far in the Third Division manages to hold out for a 1-0 win. Ringway and Haymaker Town, meanwhile, play out something of an epic - an end-to-end 2-2 in regulation time, a dodgy penalty in each half of extra time, and then nine perfect penalties before one is finally hacked straight at a diving Barry Atkins in the Haymaker goal.

Immediately after meekly succumbing to Iron City away, Goodfeather surge to a 5-1 annihilation of Bishop, who briefly look very much like a First Division side indeed. Defeats for them, South Laithland and an agonisingly-dull draw for Cranequin City mean that eight different sides so far have failed to get a point per match. Treason show the defensive capability that was missing against Brinemouth to beat the Moths 2-0, but no matter what positive spin you put on it… they’re 13th, and out of UICA to boot. And Vermillion Rage, who manage a two-goal comeback to break Athletic away, are top of the table… this despite selling Saskia Hasselbaink, who has looked suspect defensively for Brinemouth in the leftback role.

Both sides come up against Calanian sides and both win with clean sheets. Sabrefell Athletic match Burgess for shots but are far more clinical, a good game for Seward helping in a cruisy 3-0 win… Matt Breen, once again, exceeding himself. Crisisbless, meanwhile, look solid and stable at home as Sur Arora scores both goals with typically crisp finishing, still seeming to have what it takes at 34.

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                       P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Vermillion Rage           12 10  1  1  22  12  +10  31
  2 Brinemouth                12  9  1  2  29   9  +20  28
  3 Crisisbless               12  8  4  0  21   7  +14  28
  4 Chatswood                 12  7  3  2  18  10   +8  24
  5 Parrhesia United          12  7  2  3  18  10   +8  23
  6 North Laithland           12  6  3  3  17  14   +3  21
  7 Sabrefell Athletic        12  6  2  4  27  19   +8  20
  8 Goodfeather FC            12  6  2  4  19  11   +8  20
  9 Violence Chariots         12  5  4  3  22  16   +6  19
 10 Sabrefell Moths           12  5  3  4  22  16   +6  18
 11 Maximum City              12  5  3  4  16  14   +2  18
 12 Cranequin Wanderers       12  5  3  4  18  19   -1  18
 13 AFC Treason               12  4  4  4  16  14   +2  16
 14 Crisisbless United        12  4  4  4  23  24   -1  16
 15 Southfell United          12  4  3  5  16  23   -7  15
 16 Raven River               12  3  3  6  13  18   -5  12
 17 Cranequin City            12  3  2  7   6  13   -7  11
 18 Bishop                    12  2  4  6   8  20  -12  10
 19 South Laithland           12  2  3  7   7  14   -7   9
 20 Vermillion Wanderers      12  2  3  7  12  20   -8   9
 21 Ritter Town               12  2  3  7  14  26  -12   9
 22 Starling                  12  1  5  6   9  23  -14   8
 23 Maximum Rovers            12  1  4  7   7  14   -7   7
 24 Iron City                 12  2  1  9   5  19  -14   7

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                        P  W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Cypher Town                12  7  4   1  21  10  +11  25
  2 Extreme Hills              12  6  6   0  16   5  +11  24
  3 Coret Hawks                12  7  3   2  20  11   +9  24
  4 Leichhardt                 12  7  2   3  13   7   +6  23
  5 Dross Rovers               12  6  3   3  19  11   +8  21
  6 AFC Serpentine             12  6  3   3  11   8   +3  21
  7 Brookford Otters           12  5  5   2  16   8   +8  20
  8 Chenoworth Harriers        12  6  2   4  11   9   +2  20
  9 Newrook City               12  5  3   4  14   8   +6  18
 10 Ox River United            12  6  0   6  10  13   -3  18
 11 West Brinemouth            12  4  5   3  14  10   +4  17
 12 Chenoworth Rovers          12  5  2   5   9   9   +0  17
 13 Martella Jazz              12  5  1   6  16  19   -3  16
 14 Sutcroft                   12  4  3   5   8  11   -3  15
 15 Creed United               12  3  5   4  14  14   +0  14
 16 Rochford                   12  2  8   2  12  12   +0  14
 17 AFC Shale                  12  3  5   4   7  11   -4  14
 18 Locksley                   12  4  1   7  13  18   -5  13
 19 Corvette Maulers           12  2  6   4  10  14   -4  12
 20 Iron United                12  3  3   6  10  18   -8  12
 21 Sheridan                   12  2  5   5  12  10   +2  11
 22 Rhagant Schadenfreude      12  3  1   8  10  17   -7  10
 23 Franchise FC               12  2  4   6   6  14   -8  10
 24 Corby Hubris               12  1  0  11   3  28  -25   3

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 South Parrhesia              12  9  2  1  26   7  +19  29
  2 West Hook                    12  7  3  2  26   8  +18  24
  3 Armstrong                    12  6  5  1  11   5   +6  23
  4 Mainstream Fist              12  7  1  4  21  13   +8  22
  5 Belgrave                     12  6  3  3  18  20   -2  21
  6 Project +90                  12  6  2  4  25  11  +14  20
  7 Kensey Town                  12  6  2  4  20  15   +5  20
  8 North Sabrefell              12  6  2  4  13   9   +4  20
  9 Strephonage                  12  5  4  3  15  11   +4  19
 10 Crisisbless Athletic         12  5  3  4   9  10   -1  18
 11 Crossroads Town              12  4  5  3  15  10   +5  17
 12 Brookway Town                12  5  2  5  16  20   -4  17
 13 Hackett                      12  4  4  4  17  15   +2  16
 14 Brindleton                   12  5  1  6  12  17   -5  16
 15 Masculine Town               12  4  4  4  12  17   -5  16
 16 East Laithland Harriers      12  4  3  5  22  22   +0  15
 17 Rushe United                 12  3  5  4  21  19   +2  14
 18 Boleyn Town                  12  4  2  6   9  12   -3  14
 19 Iberia Chenoworth            12  3  3  6  13  22   -9  12
 20 Coret Rovers                 12  1  7  4  15  17   -2  10
 21 Gridlock Rovers              12  2  4  6   9  16   -7  10
 22 Fenland Albion               12  3  1  8   8  20  -12  10
 23 Dubstep Rangers              12  1  3  8   9  26  -17   6
 24 South Brill                  12  1  3  8   5  25  -20   6

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                       P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Long Lake                 12  8  4  0  18   8  +10  28
  2 Gridlock East             12  7  3  2  16   8   +8  24
  3 Diamondqueen              12  6  5  1  23   9  +14  23
  4 Falston Town              12  7  2  3  22  10  +12  23
  5 Dartmouth Terriers        12  6  4  2  21  13   +8  22
  6 Senway Town               12  6  3  3  20  15   +5  21
  7 Blaze                     12  5  5  2  19  12   +7  20
  8 Kommissar                 12  5  5  2  16   9   +7  20
  9 North Dubstep             12  6  2  4  17  12   +5  20
 10 Stonegrave                12  5  4  3  12  10   +2  19
 11 Forge Carpenters          12  5  2  5  13  16   -3  17
 12 Morningstar               12  5  1  6  17  14   +3  16
 13 Southriver                12  4  4  4  15  16   -1  16
 14 Chaker Town               12  4  4  4  14  17   -3  16
 15 Downsparrow               12  4  4  4   9  15   -6  16
 16 Bellamy                   12  3  4  5  11  18   -7  13
 17 Sutcroft Athletic         12  4  1  7  13  21   -8  13
 18 Greygate                  12  3  3  6  11  15   -4  12
 19 Vermillion Spite          12  3  2  7  11  22  -11  11
 20 Mantlegrove               12  1  6  5   9  13   -4   9
 21 FC United                 12  2  3  7  12  20   -8   9
 22 Pillars of Southfell      12  2  3  7   5  15  -10   9
 23 Bodkin Road               12  2  2  8   9  13   -4   8
 24 Gridlock                  12  2  2  8   6  18  -12   8

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                    P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Reckdale Town          12  9  0  3  28  14  +14  27
  2 The Strongest          12  7  4  1  34  13  +21  25
  3 Camwell Road           12  6  5  1  16  10   +6  23
  4 Courser                12  6  4  2  13  12   +1  22
  5 Worthall               12  5  3  4  13  10   +3  18
  6 Harrington             12  5  2  5  20  15   +5  17
  7 Grovebank              12  4  5  3  15  11   +4  17
  8 Stekelenbright         12  5  2  5  13  13   +0  17
  9 Haymaker Town          12  4  4  4  16  16   +0  16
 10 Tryst Athletic         12  4  3  5  18  16   +2  15
 11 Perrett                12  3  6  3  10  11   -1  15
 12 The Hanged Man         12  4  3  5   9  12   -3  15
 13 Huysegem               12  3  6  3  11  17   -6  15
 14 Geoff United           12  4  3  5  13  23  -10  15
 15 Ramsay                 12  4  2  6  14  13   +1  14
 16 Norton Road            12  2  6  4   9  11   -2  12
 17 Fully Sick XI          12  2  6  4  13  17   -4  12
 18 Barcastle Rovers       12  2  4  6  11  21  -10  10
 19 Thratewood             12  2  4  6  12  23  -11  10
 20 Crisisbless Ermac      12  2  2  8  13  23  -10   8

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Lackerrun                  12  7  4  1  26  11  +15  25
  2 Riverkey                   12  8  1  3  22   8  +14  25
  3 Ringway                    12  7  2  3  21  11  +10  23
  4 Violence Tigers            12  6  5  1  15   7   +8  23
  5 Fischer                    12  6  2  4  16  12   +4  20
  6 Twelvetrees                12  5  4  3  13  10   +3  19
  7 Sandrock                   12  5  3  4   9   9   +0  18
  8 De La Patria               12  4  5  3  19  13   +6  17
  9 East Slake                 12  4  5  3  15  13   +2  17
 10 Norpike                    12  4  5  3  12  13   -1  17
 11 Nay Town                   12  4  4  4  13  16   -3  16
 12 Pridehome                  12  5  1  6  13  19   -6  16
 13 Stamper Road               12  3  5  4  14  15   -1  14
 14 Rookwall                   12  4  2  6  13  16   -3  14
 15 Inner-East Fairywrens      12  3  5  4  10  14   -4  14
 16 Leo                        12  2  5  5   8   9   -1  11
 17 Getton Town                12  2  4  6  10  15   -5  10
 18 Peregrine                  12  2  4  6   5  13   -8  10
 19 Markoni                    12  1  5  6  10  27  -17   8
 20 Harbrook United            12  0  5  7   9  22  -13   5

by **Nephara** » Fri Jul 24, 2015 9:39 pm

An uneventful weekend, exemplified by Vermillion Wanderers against Maximum Rovers. Diandra Marlborough hits a dangerous cross into the box, Sweane easily heads it out, Anderson Sandro walks into Hildebrandt and falls over. For ninety minutes. The Rovers should probably win it on the break in the 89th minute, but Warwick’s cross hits Akerman in the face and skims the top of the bar. Beyond Southfell United with a remarkable 2-0 win over Sabrefell Athletic, Felix Keller in remarkably good form to harry the Athletic defence all season. No wonder he’s been linked with a move to better things.

A far more interesting matchday presents itself. First off, a tense match between Brinemouth and Sabrefell Athletic marked by excellent goalkeeping on both sides, but it’s still a more cautious affair than the neutrals hoped. No such restraint in the Laith, as the Stags’ poor start to the season is compounded further. The scores are locked at 3-3 in the first half, but the Stags seem to play within themselves in the second half, and Theodora Covenant (to that point practically silent in Katskalidis’ pocket) pounces gleefully. First a misplaced pass by Tosca Marlowe is charged down before Covenant fires past the goalkeeper, before she streaks onto a long Rafferty shot six minutes later. Miller had that covered… but didn’t account for Covenant intercepting it with a diving header. Escher Speare finally gets one over her mentor. North Laithland look good this season. Can they keep it up?

No more caution for Sabrefell Athletic. They go out to win, away. Oehman slots home in the 11th minute - Bray, in the 19th. The Euran hosts recover, but while they’re able to pull one back, big Matty Breen rises above everyone to head home a corner. He’s been incredibly good during international tournaments, despite being… a big, lumbering academy graduate with no real ability to play the ball and tackles that go clean through attackers. The most unlikely hero. Crisisbless win away in a spirited performance, the midfield dominant throughout.

A first-ever match in the Cup Winners’ Cup by a Nepharim side, the Moths had high hopes for the occasion - on the front-foot from the opening whistle, a neat cutback from Coleman finds Kirsten Cliving, whose one-two with Curio puts her through on goal. She makes no mistake, but while the Moths keep on creating chances, they can’t finish them, and they might just regret it.

Five wins, five draws and five defeats for Treason. It’s the ever-fiery grudge match between Treason and Maximum City, and here … well, here it becomes pure spite. No goals, no real attempts to play the ball as the two teams kick lumps out of one another, and even a leniant performance from referee Markus Anderlecht (the Premiership’s most senior - only he could be trusted) sees red cards for both Katskalidis and Layland. Terrance Jordan, a relatively new arrival, doesn’t seem to get the significance of the match and tries to help Josephus Flaccus stretch out a cramp. Appropriately, Michael Keane drags him off and throws him aside - no quarter.

First Division sides enter the fray - at last it’s time for some proper mismatches. Barcastle Rovers is all set up for a fall, a weak Conference West side facing, in Coret Hawks, a fresh-relegated First Division side already a favourite for promotion. And yet… they only lose 1-0. It takes a proper lower-league moment to put the semi-pros down, too. Foster crosses to former Violence Chariot Ritter, who flicks it on to Pierce Griffiths at the far post - as Griffiths bundles it into the net, it’s the only time that an overweight 32-year old working bookstore retail part-time, Jayce Atkins, is beaten all day. Third Division Greygate don’t feel like sticking to the script against Rochford, either - it takes extra time for Rochford to secure a win, and that coming through a somewhat dodgy penalty. Chenoworth Harriers face … the East Laithland Harriers. It’s the Laithlanders who score first, but the somewhat more significant visitors smash home five as an answer. Despite East Laithland pulling one back through an own goal off Harry Blanton’s thigh, it’s a deserved win. Serpentine also avoid the pitfalls of other promotion candidates, pumping Stekelenbright 6-1 away with an almost-entirely second-string team. Corvette Maulers and West Brinemouth aren’t so lucky, clashing early on. Harry Robertson glances home a header from Leo Barrackster’s free kick, but the 36-year old Ninian Locksmith still has what it takes, a clumsy bicycle kick dragging the ball past young Russ Lazaridis, whose 21st birthday is today. Lisa Heller regains the lead with a powerful half-volley, but a neat bit of… well, something from May Glasson secures a draw, her right-footed shot cannonning off the foot of the post before she threw out her left foot quickly to drag the ball over the line. Ultimately, despite her heroics, Glasson skies the fifth penalty and Corvette progress.

The less said the better, as the Moths bow out in miserable fashion. The home crowd barely even musters a cheer for Maddon’s 82nd minute consolation, and there’s still a fourth Hondo goal to come.

Ritter Town see a winnable opponent in Vermillion Wanderers, at home - but Riko Raske rashly scythes down Jayce Carsten with 12 minutes played, and receives his marching orders. Ritter shifts to a 4-4-1, Thea Killen coming on, but Ritter never quite regain their balance, and goals for Carsten, Calisto Matraxis and substitute Morgan Keyes secure three much-needed points for the Wanderers. Sandro still hasn’t scored since his first game - on the pitch, at least. He was, at least, caught by journalists entering a local brothel. “What happens off the pitch stays off the pitch,” says Cheney Carrick, leniently.

The Revolutionaries, having buckled as Sabrefell stunned them with early aggression, stun Sabrefell with early aggression. 2-0 down within 31 minutes, the Reds are simply unable to do more than stabilise, and succumb to a damaging defeat. No such anxiety for Crisisbless - Keast’s looping header and Knutsen’s driving shot from distance put down RGS, Nodtveit and Gallardo keeping tight at the back.

A lot of dull matches today. Brinemouth, Parrhesia, Crisisbless, Treason, Cranequin… all win 1-0, and it looks like Starling are going to follow them. But Jayce Carsten finds the ball in space, and remarkably for a striker of limited ability manages to knock the ball past Karl Finnan, a truly class defender reduced to this, run onto it and side-foot it past Erica Karling. The luckless Passerines remain stranded on just two victories, so far shaping up to be the disappointment of the season.

Brinemouth continue being fucking dismal against international opposition, and fail to even score against resilient Thalamascian opposition.

Sabrefell Athletic haven’t been up to scratch in the league, while Crisisbless - unbeaten in UICA and the league - have been doing a far better job of balancing their commitments. They show it with a comfortable 2-0 win, the hosts’ 4-man midfield clamps down on Athletic’s 5, with the wingers unable to break past the fullbacks. Kilbane’s long pass set the way for Keast to score the first, while with a feint of the feet and sway of the hips Fiona Berenger wrong-footed Laxenburg and fired past Seward for a deserved second. Comfortable stuff. No such comfort for the Wanderers though in the Cranequin derby - an opportunistic stab home from Croft Drinkwater, eight yards out, puts them ahead in the 11th minute. City spends the entire rest of the game on the attack, defied by a mixture of Rachel Brennan in goal (player of the match) and utterly terrible finishing. “We had one good chance, we took it. They had about nine and they couldn’t,” is all Olga Pardew can tell the press, with a shrug.

FC Endeavour outfoxes Sabrefell Athletic, on the front foot all game with goals from Leighton and young prodigal Alpha Gandhi - on loan at Maximum City last season. The Reds strike back on the counter-attack in the 79th minute, substitute Alysia Dorne (lightning-quick, questionable finishing) making her mark… but it’s not enough. Strangely, it’s Endeavour’s only win of the Group Stage so far. Crisisbless breeze past Nacional comfortably, 3-0 up by the 70th minute and cruising to victory despite a late consolation from Bolivar.

Brinemouth’s inability to score a goal, ever, apparently extends to a comically bad penalty shootout. Plucky Panethokoi, who deserve a lot of credit for holding out, progress to the next round.

The Saints decide that to sit back at home against Crisisbless is suicide, and go for broke. The reward? Goals from Monti and Beckcamp, both stylishly taken, as Crisisbless slump to… their first defeat all season, in all competitions. Remarkable. Immediately after a smash-and-grab away victory against a relegation rival, Cranequin Wanderers face Vermillion Wanderers at the Falstaff Ground, grab two goals within twenty minutes and settle in for the long run. Vermillion can hardly complain when their attacking moves fail, despite a lone Marlborough goal - the terrible state of their home pitch is the default scapegoat for visiting teams. A scapegoat Cranequin won’t need this time, and when Sandro looks set to smash home an injury-time equaliser from seven yards, the ball bobbles off a clump of dirt, he ends up kicking Gareth Kearney in the shins and picks up a yellow card.

The Premiership teams enter the fray. Brinemouth, the Moths and Treason immediately exit it. Sabrefell Athletic, inspired by a masterful performance from Armando Quillisi, destroy Brinemouth 4-0 as their silky passing, short and long, disassembles their defence. Treason, away and with a heavily-rotated squad, still fancies themselves against South Laithland with genuine justice. But Peter Oliver is given a start that’s been rare these days, after Kuepper pulled up in training, scores twice and provides a flick-on for Markosian to bundle in at the far post. The Moths don’t even have the excuse of being away - their old flame Roy Chalker provides three assists despite being practically immobile these days, goals for Shea, Buchanan and, adding insult to injury, a looping header from Stefan Raleigh that sends Malta Hawthorn stumbling into the net. Crisisbless avoid being one of the scalps… barely. Ever so barely. Unable to break through in normal time against a packed Rochford defence, Adelaide Mathers finally manages to fire home in the 98th minute. Rochford don’t take half measures, transforming from full-defence to full-attack, and goalkeeper Harald Scheuer is on the scene to head home a corner in the 120th minute. Sadly for the hosts, Scheuer can’t repeat his heroics in the penalty shoot-out. Instead, Flynn King, starting goalkeeper of last year but making a first start of the season and with just one save needing to be made all game, makes himself huge in the net and saves two penalties, giving the Heelers the win. Project +90, who consider the Cup a top priority given that their raison d’etre is to play as many competitive fixtures to blood their squad as possible, felt they were in with a shot against Ritter Town. But with a quick brace from Ash Purrington, the young squad simply fell apart, unable to breach the Stallions’ defence or even seriously test Andrea Curran in their goal. The final score… 9-0 to the visitors.

Starling attracted notice for allowing themselves to have a documentary filmed about them - Rise Like A Phoenix is the temporary title. It might well change, given that most of the footage so far has involved being terrible. A home match against Sabrefell Athletic sees three unanswered goals in their net - two from normally neat Athletic play, but an uncharacteristic long ball is all-too-characteristically dropped by Karling, and Bray bundles it in without even really knowing what’s going on. Ritter, buoyed by their 9-0 thrashing of the Project, play without pressure to beat Parrhesia United 1-0 at home. Lukas Farrell bursts through the middle to find Wolfgang’s cross and smash it past Koeller, and the defence, for once, holds firm. Not quite without a catch, though - rightback Kurtis Rough practically kneecaps Christian Beckcamp with two minutes to go. Straight red for Rough - but six weeks out for the Parrhesia left winger, one of their genuine emerging talents.

Sabrefell defend stoutly, Brix Hamilton a standout performer, but they uncharacteristically lack a finishing touch going forward and finish third in the group. “The lads are crushed, without a doubt,” Miriam Aragon admits, “but all we can do is kick on and try and make our mark on the Globe Cup.” Crisisbless have already done that - while Westonbirt strike early through Theberge’s powerful drive, Osric Keast’s header restores parity before a driving run from Espen Knutsen sees him latch onto the end of Berenger’s cross and sidefoot the ball low past the ancient Touissant in goal.

Rough genuinely lived up to his name, but he was genuinely good at his job. Ellis Lucan, it turns out, is nowhere near a replacement, and Warwick and Rosler get significant joy attacking him all match. Furthermore, with the Marten Akerman experiment abandoned for the time being, a start for 19-year old Schottian centre-forward Lucy Curren - her first in the Premiership. Shay Warwick scores the first and Rosler’s low cross is flicked on by Drake for Curren to convert at the far post, as Shay’s brother Jack watches on hopelessly isolated in the Ritter attack. Brinemouth and Crisisbless United might have had their share of tasty fixtures in the past, but no joy here - Roy Hennessey has a flier as United reform to try and sit back and hit on the counter. Andrea Cawdor breaks loose a couple of times, but the young winger doesn’t quite have her end product yet. It ends goalless.

A cagey win for Athletic straight off their defeat to lowly South Laithland is a welcome panacea. It’s Ole Oehman who breaks the deadlock in the 71st minute with a curling drive from range, but Aragon will be happy enough with the clean sheet, Breen and Hamilton continuing to look tidy in central defence.

Maximum City collapses against nearby Iron - Damien Arragne with a genuine poacher’s goal. The Smiths fight back, but their finishing is simply dreadful, and Iron’s defence holds firm. While deeply mired in the relegation battle, this Iron side definitely seems to have more bite than some others. Another set of relegation battlers in South Laithland find it in themselves to crush the notoriously streaky Parrhesia United 3-0, Markosian ending a drought of seven league games with a brace. Even in spite of that, Parrhesia somehow sit in the UICA places! Another streaky striker - this time Marten Akerman of Maximum Rovers - comes off the bench to find a spectacular winner against Starling, a diving header past Karling. Can Anderson Sandro do a job, too? No. No, he can’t - booked for simulation, substituted off in the 52nd minute, he watches from the bench as his side crash from a respectable 2-2 draw to lose to Sabrefell Moths 4-2 at home. Curio, a true all-round striker who’s been in explosive form all season, scores twice that match to further prove his worth… but it’s been a fairly dismal season for the Moths so far, even so.

Less emphatic than hoped, but both sides simply defended too well. Bray’s 29th-minute header off Eastway’s cross is enough to seal the deal. The flow of the match was interrupted frequently by a snippish referee who showered both sides in cards and stopped play for the slightest infraction, but that suited Athletic just fine. Well, almost - Breen was sent off in the 82nd minute for dissent, but they held on for the win.

Starling have looked good at points this season, and look to get three invaluable points against Goodfeather FC - but Andrey Rettinger crashes through their defence in possession and smashes past Erica Karling. Starling’s glass jaw has cost them dearly, and a record of just two wins and ten (!) draws leaves them in last. Ritter Town, remarkably, claw their way a bit closer to safety, overcoming Sur Arora’s fifteenth-minute strike thanks to precise crossing and bullet headers from Warwick in open play and Rinehart from a corner. As a result, Crisisbless lose top spot to Brinemouth - who decisively beat Chatswood 3-1. Violence Chariots visit Sabrefell Athletic, fierce East Sabrefell rivals. It’s a fiery game, with three players sent off, and despite a man disadvantage the Chariots level late on when Norgen takes a cross on his chest, lures Breen away with his back to goal before abruptly turning and shooting past a wrong-footed Seward. It leaves them 7th and 8th, both disappointing seasons so far. It’s even worse for the Stags. Collapsing from 4-2 up at the 75-minute mark to a 4-4 draw against a plucky, Rusland-inspired Southfell United, they’re 9th. Misfiring in attack, not nearly as strong as they used to be in defence, out of UICA and the Cup… they need to show improvement to salvage this season.

Starling manage a win over Maximum City they really could have done with in the league. Karl Finnan hurls himself at a corner and drives home a powerful header past Sheila Kilgallon. Similarly, Ritter Town beats Chatswood. South Laithland need penalties to beat Rushe United at home, but it’s a good cameo for backup goalkeeper Flint Cole, who saves three penalties and watches another hit a post. Iron City also face the easy task of Crisisbless Athletic, from the Second Division, and chance a largely second-string side. But the risk wasn’t worth it - Athletic treat it like any other match, go on the front foot and after poor finishing and a good audition from out-of-favour Wren Redruth in goal, finally get ahead when the wonderfully named 19-year old Scylla Andrews ghosts past the defence, chests a cross onto the ground and stabs the ball past Redruth before anyone can react. Belatedly, Iron City lumber into action, but can’t do a thing.

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                       P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Brinemouth                23  15  5   3  43  17  +26  50
  2 Crisisbless               23  14  7   2  39  15  +24  49
  3 Vermillion Rage           23  14  4   5  37  24  +13  46
  4 Parrhesia United          23  12  6   5  31  20  +11  42
  5 North Laithland           23  12  5   6  37  28   +9  41
  6 Chatswood                 23  10  7   6  31  24   +7  37
  7 Violence Chariots         23   9  9   5  40  27  +13  36
  8 Sabrefell Athletic        23  10  6   7  45  34  +11  36
  9 AFC Treason               23   9  9   5  37  29   +8  36
 10 Sabrefell Moths           23  10  4   9  41  31  +10  34
 11 Goodfeather FC            23   9  7   7  33  27   +6  34
 12 Cranequin Wanderers       23   9  6   8  32  35   -3  33
 13 Maximum City              23   8  7   8  25  23   +2  31
 14 Raven River               23   9  4  10  31  36   -5  31
 15 Crisisbless United        23   7  8   8  37  41   -4  29
 16 Southfell United          23   7  8   8  31  36   -5  29
 17 Maximum Rovers            23   6  6  11  20  24   -4  24
 18 Bishop                    23   5  8  10  17  33  -16  23
 19 Cranequin City            23   6  4  13  16  32  -16  22
 20 South Laithland           23   5  5  13  19  31  -12  20
 21 Iron City                 23   5  4  14  13  33  -20  19
 22 Ritter Town               23   4  6  13  22  41  -19  18
 23 Vermillion Wanderers      23   3  7  13  26  40  -14  16
 24 Starling                  23   2 10  11  14  36  -22  16

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                        P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Chenoworth Harriers        23  13  6   4  24  13  +11  45
  2 Extreme Hills              23  12  7   4  31  16  +15  43
  3 Cypher Town                23  12  6   5  34  18  +16  42
  4 Brookford Otters           23  11  8   4  29  13  +16  41
  5 AFC Serpentine             23  12  5   6  30  15  +15  41
  6 West Brinemouth            23  11  7   5  25  15  +10  40
  7 Coret Hawks                23  12  4   7  30  21   +9  40
  8 Chenoworth Rovers          23  12  3   8  19  15   +4  39
  9 Leichhardt                 23  10  5   8  18  16   +2  35
 10 Newrook City               23   9  6   8  29  21   +8  33
 11 Creed United               23   8  9   6  30  25   +5  33
 12 Dross Rovers               23   9  5   9  27  23   +4  32
 13 Martella Jazz              23   9  3  11  28  33   -5  30
 14 Corvette Maulers           23   7  8   8  24  30   -6  29
 15 Sheridan                   23   7  7   9  21  20   +1  28
 16 AFC Shale                  23   7  6  10  18  21   -3  27
 17 Sutcroft                   23   7  6  10  21  30   -9  27
 18 Iron United                23   7  5  11  21  33  -12  26
 19 Ox River United            23   7  4  12  18  27   -9  25
 20 Franchise FC               23   5  9   9  18  26   -8  24
 21 Locksley                   23   7  3  13  25  38  -13  24
 22 Rochford                   23   4 10   9  21  27   -6  22
 23 Rhagant Schadenfreude      23   6  3  14  19  30  -11  21
 24 Corby Hubris               23   2  5  16  11  45  -34  11

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 South Parrhesia              23  15  5   3  42  15  +27  50
  2 Armstrong                    23  14  7   2  29   9  +20  49
  3 North Sabrefell              23  14  3   6  35  18  +17  45
  4 Mainstream Fist              23  12  6   5  36  21  +15  42
  5 Crossroads Town              23  12  6   5  33  20  +13  42
  6 West Hook                    23  11  7   5  35  15  +20  40
  7 Belgrave                     23  10  7   6  30  30   +0  37
  8 Hackett                      23  10  6   7  33  24   +9  36
  9 Strephonage                  23  10  6   7  29  27   +2  36
 10 East Laithland Harriers      23   9  6   8  45  34  +11  33
 11 Kensey Town                  23   9  5   9  29  28   +1  32
 12 Crisisbless Athletic         23   8  8   7  19  20   -1  32
 13 Project +90                  23   9  4  10  33  24   +9  31
 14 Masculine Town               23   8  7   8  25  29   -4  31
 15 Coret Rovers                 23   7  8   8  33  28   +5  29
 16 Brookway Town                23   8  5  10  27  33   -6  29
 17 Boleyn Town                  23   8  2  13  14  26  -12  26
 18 Gridlock Rovers              23   6  5  12  18  30  -12  23
 19 Rushe United                 23   4  9  10  30  40  -10  21
 20 Fenland Albion               23   5  6  12  21  36  -15  21
 21 Brindleton                   23   5  6  12  17  36  -19  21
 22 Iberia Chenoworth            23   5  5  13  23  43  -20  20
 23 South Brill                  23   3  8  12  15  38  -23  17
 24 Dubstep Rangers              23   3  5  15  14  41  -27  14

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                       P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Long Lake                 23  12  8   3  28  17  +11  44
  2 Dartmouth Terriers        23  12  7   4  37  23  +14  43
  3 Gridlock East             23  13  4   6  31  19  +12  43
  4 Diamondqueen              23  11  8   4  40  19  +21  41
  5 Falston Town              23  11  7   5  40  22  +18  40
  6 Senway Town               23  11  7   5  34  25   +9  40
  7 North Dubstep             23  10  8   5  38  27  +11  38
  8 Chaker Town               23   9 10   4  26  23   +3  37
  9 Morningstar               23  11  3   9  43  29  +14  36
 10 Stonegrave                23   9  9   5  23  17   +6  36
 11 Forge Carpenters          23  10  6   7  29  30   -1  36
 12 Kommissar                 23   9  8   6  38  29   +9  35
 13 Blaze                     23   8  9   6  31  27   +4  33
 14 Downsparrow               23   8  6   9  23  23   +0  30
 15 Mantlegrove               23   7  7   9  22  25   -3  28
 16 Gridlock                  23   7  7   9  16  23   -7  28
 17 Sutcroft Athletic         23   8  4  11  27  35   -8  28
 18 Southriver                23   5  7  11  25  32   -7  22
 19 Greygate                  23   4  8  11  22  32  -10  20
 20 Bodkin Road               23   3  9  11  18  26   -8  18
 21 FC United                 23   4  6  13  26  42  -16  18
 22 Bellamy                   23   3  9  11  15  36  -21  18
 23 Vermillion Spite          23   5  3  15  24  52  -28  18
 24 Pillars of Southfell      23   3  6  14  10  33  -23  15

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Camwell Road           23  12   8   3  32  18  +14  44
  2 Courser                23  12   7   4  25  20   +5  43
  3 Reckdale Town          23  12   6   5  40  25  +15  42
  4 Grovebank              23  10   8   5  32  23   +9  38
  5 The Strongest          23   9   9   5  45  30  +15  36
  6 Haymaker Town          23   9   7   7  31  23   +8  34
  7 Harrington             23   9   6   8  32  23   +9  33
  8 Worthall               23   9   4  10  21  21   +0  31
  9 Stekelenbright         23   9   4  10  24  25   -1  31
 10 Geoff United           23   8   7   8  27  36   -9  31
 11 Fully Sick XI          23   7   9   7  28  29   -1  30
 12 Huysegem               23   7   8   8  24  33   -9  29
 13 Perrett                23   6   9   8  24  27   -3  27
 14 Tryst Athletic         23   6   8   9  25  29   -4  26
 15 Thratewood             23   6   8   9  24  34  -10  26
 16 Barcastle Rovers       23   6   8   9  21  31  -10  26
 17 Crisisbless Ermac      23   7   3  13  32  40   -8  24
 18 Norton Road            23   4  11   8  18  21   -3  23
 19 Ramsay                 23   6   5  12  25  33   -8  23
 20 The Hanged Man         23   6   5  12  16  25   -9  23

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Riverkey                   23  15  3   5  46  18  +28  48
  2 Lackerrun                  23  14  5   4  45  28  +17  47
  3 Ringway                    23  14  4   5  44  24  +20  46
  4 Violence Tigers            23  12  8   3  30  17  +13  44
  5 Sandrock                   23  11  6   6  24  17   +7  39
  6 Fischer                    23  11  3   9  27  23   +4  36
  7 De La Patria               23   9  7   7  35  24  +11  34
  8 East Slake                 23   9  7   7  30  26   +4  34
  9 Twelvetrees                23   9  6   8  20  17   +3  33
 10 Stamper Road               23   8  7   8  33  30   +3  31
 11 Nay Town                   23   7 10   6  25  27   -2  31
 12 Norpike                    23   8  7   8  23  26   -3  31
 13 Rookwall                   23   8  6   9  24  26   -2  30
 14 Getton Town                23   7  6  10  29  34   -5  27
 15 Pridehome                  23   7  5  11  18  31  -13  26
 16 Inner-East Fairywrens      23   5 10   8  19  27   -8  25
 17 Peregrine                  23   4  8  11  14  27  -13  20
 18 Leo                        23   4  7  12  15  24   -9  19
 19 Markoni                    23   1  9  13  18  45  -27  12
 20 Harbrook United            23   2  6  15  21  49  -28  12

by **Nephara** » Sat Jul 25, 2015 4:03 am

In the ‘try and salvage some pride from this fucking trainwreck of a season’ derby, Treason and Athletic appropriately draw 1-1 - while the similarly underperforming Violence Chariots can’t get a goal against overperforming Parrhesia United. Norgen hits a post, but it takes a great game from Asger Thrace to salvage a point for the hosts. North Laithland struggle and succumb to Vermillion Wanderers, struggling to deal with Vermillion’s exceptionally direct game. Morgan Keyes scores his sixth of the season, and contributes an assist, too - flicking on for Carsten at the back post. Sandro has one and none - and yet the only reason Keyes starts this match is Sandro starts vomiting during the warm-ups. “Totally inexplicable, and unfortunate,” deadpans a Wanderers official.

With a strong selection, Athletic ease past their Islander opponents. Gawain and Quillisi get the goals, both from out of the box, while the Reagan-Hamilton combination proves solid (with Breen still suspended). A late fightback from Stilwater is counteracted by good work from Seward in goal, and also the outside of the crossbar - but the Reds deserve their win.

An uncharacteristically-tight Sabrefell derby. Felix international Maria Martell is missing thanks to a hamstring complaint, but local boy Gareth Penrooke plays out of his skin in her place, brutally hacking down anyone that gets within a foot of him in the midfield. Eventually he’s sent off for a second yellow in the 79th minute - planting his studs through Rowan Gawain’s knees - but not before an unlikely assist in the 71st, lofting the ball over the top, Matt Breen’s attempted clearing header unconvincing at best and latched onto by Sheila Maddon, who evades Hamilton’s covering challenge, skips around Seward and sidefoots into the net. “I’d do anything to beat those fucking war criminals,” Penrooke confides in the press. North Laithland and Vermillion Rage trade blows in a match that ends 5-4 to the Spiders. The tired line by commentators is that North Laithland should regret letting Bazinho go on a free, and he does score one and assist one… but North Laithland’s striker, Theodora Covenant, manages a hattrick based off her ability to hang off the shoulder, make quick bursts of pace and take whatever chances she can get, and a top-drawer save from beresford keeps her from having a fourth. It’s not enough, though - and Escher Speare feels increasingly confident in her team. “UICA’s not out of the picture by any means,” she tells the press. “And the best part about a squad this young? We’re only getting better.”

A few people are rested as Athletic recovers from its derby, but an Alysia Dorne goal in the 17th minute all but seals the deal. Stilwater never look likely to equalise, let alone get the three goals they needed - credit to the home crowd of the Barbarossa, always an intimidating place to come to.

Bishop have looked a good fit for the Premiership. Tight. Compact. Solid at the back. Quick on the break. And now, following a 1-0 home defeat to Iron City in which they looked more or less toothless and relied upon Katsouranis in goal to keep the score down, winless in ten and embroiled in a relegation dogfight they’d hoped to avoid. North Laithland score another five - and this time without conceding four. Southfell United look a total shambles, simply unravelled by the pace and passing range of North Laithland’s midfield, while Covenant scores a second hattrick in two games, the first player ever to accomplish this feat in the Premiership! Treason play Maximum Rovers - it’s historically a friendly match, the two sides bound by the love of Catheline Harper and scorn for Maximum City, but neither’s had a good season so far. Treason notch up the victory here, 3-1.

Parrhesia United’s early promise is imploding. It briefly seemed like, in Brun and Ryalusci, they had a decent defence in them - but then after Brun’s failed clearance paves the way for Daniella Strauss to clip home River’s second of the game, Ryalusci punches him. He’s sent off - Valiant retrieved from the tunnel, but the 10-man Saints are hung, drawn and quartered for three more goals, Koeller left helplessly exposed throughout. Compounding the situation further, the talented but hot-blooded Beckcamp is senselessly dismissed on a second yellow, for dissent - the Saints finish the game down five goals and two men.

Sabrefell Athletic progress pretty easily, but otherwise it’s a surprisingly close time. Parrhesia United, still looking pretty shaky after a poor run of form, concede early to journeyman striker Bastian Heldegast’s opportunistic strike, but ultimately their class in attack dispatches Creed United. Relegation-threatened South Laithland faced the promotion-chasing Harriers, and they had to defend well after Aziz Senturk’s fantastic free kick to defend their lead. Flint Cole took a kick to the face for his trouble defending a one-on-one bravely, and perhaps it’s a blessing in disguise - captain and first-choice goalkeeper Reece Benedict steps off the bench and makes a number of good saves. In a similar match on paper, Starling rested several of their better, older players against Corvette Maulers, and nearly paid the price. Corvette looked the better team after Braunbier’s 9th-minute goal, Lisa Heller hitting a post after rounding the goalkeeper Helena Middlesborough (who is otherwise impressive, perhaps hoping to take over from the out-of-form Karling) before Logan Theodorakopolous broke through the middle to smash home Barrackster’s low cross. But Espen Havenaar’s corner is headed home in extra time by the resilient, impressive centreback James Doncaster - who should maybe be given more joy in the league. North Laithland also rotate a number of players and nearly pay the price, Martella Jazz winger Markus Schneider lashing home a late equaliser. The Laithlanders can’t break through in extra time, but at the end of the day, Cheney Morgan in goal is the hero, saving a decent penalty from Christian Tobruk at full stretch to put the Spiders through. It also comes to penalties between Cranequin City and Vermillion Rage - eight perfect penalties a showcase of technique and nerve before Sarah Carmady lashes hers over the bar. 20-year old Louise Merson goes for a low, powerful drive into the bottom corner to send City through. Cranequin Wanderers rest Croft Drinkwater against Crisisbless Athletic and nobody else on their team can finish, and it’s left to a defender, leftback Malachi Hawkshaw, to cut inside and hit the ball low past Logan Canecross in goal. And Ox River United, normally so goalshy and struggling to keep afloat in the second tier, find two goals against Crisisbless United - though they’ve Swallowtail’s error to thank for the first. They nearly cling onto it, but in the 91st minute, Reinhard Mueller surges onto the back post to find Cawdor’s cross and heads it home - and in the fourth minute of extra time, substitute Laura Weiler’s snap-shot has the better of Crockshaw in the River goal. The home side has nothing left in the tank, and the Chessmen progress. Very close - and yet, all the top-tier teams progress.

Oh dear, Parrhesia… scoreless in five league games now, with two points to show for it and the last three games being 10-0 on aggregate. After North Laithland gives them a good, solid kicking, it becomes evident that the Saints simply can’t cope with the pace of Covenant, Archer and Rudden up front. So much for their early UICA challenges, unless they can get the ship steady again. Crisisbless have been coolly excellent throughout the season, and while Brinemouth are pegged back by a late Peter Oliver header, Crisisbless make short work of Treason at the Gauntlet. Reinhard Shale’s crisp-passing, fluid midfield has been more than a match for any opponent this season, and the Stags are no exception, out-thought and outplayed on the way to a 2-0 defeat.

Sabrefell come out of the gates swinging, but early momentum is checked when Bengtsmark hit them on the counter with Felipe Maniche skilfully volleying home Brendan Rivers’ cross. That halts Athletic in their tracks, and it’s not long before Droimpol makes it 2-0 six minutes later. But a late goal pulled back by Athletic, Oehman’s low cross tucked in by Bray, gives the Reds hope. In the second half, they dominate - an unfortunate own goal by Steinar Niemela, who had been exemplary to that point, before Big Matty Breen rises to head home an expertly taken corner. Athletic are looking good to progress after a tough draw.

Violence Chariots are in fine voice. Leading Starling 1-0 in the 40th minute, a brutal challenge from a tired and frustrated Karl Finnan sees him sent off. Jess Hearn’s curling free kick is fumbled into the net by the hapless Erica Karling. Then the blood-letting begins in earnest. Walker, Norgen, Navratil off the bench and Kellen all get on the scoreboard to complete a 6-0 hammering of a thoroughly defeated-looking Starling. Iron City look sunk within sixteen minutes - Bazinho and Ashworth both find the net. But they go back to basics - Arragne heads home Church’s cross before his hold-up play produces the room for Reeve to latch unmarked onto a pass and equalise, before a slip from Jonas-Anderson lets Postecoglou cut inside and beat Beresford. Vermillion equalise, Levy taking possession, muscling through Vauxhall and Langerak and sidefooting past Dan Keel, but it’s Wil Ripton, on as a substitute, who scores with a cracking direct free kick that glances off the inside of the crossbar to give Iron the crucial three points.

Bengtsmark make their intentions clear early on when they are denied an 8th-minute lead only when Nikolaev blazes over the bar from six yards. It’s not a warning they take to heart, as Brendan ‘Beast’ Rivers - on his homecoming back to Nephara - clips a shot low and hard past Seward from just outside the box. From there, it becomes a tight midfield battle - but Athletic have the edge through away goals. They have the edge on aggregate in the 57th minute thanks to an unlikely source, leftback Christian Laxenburg - and despite a spectacular diving header courtesy of Sunrise Island international Felipe Maniche, Athletic hold on to scrape through on away goals.

Treason’s season is doing just about anything but reviving. After the defeat to Crisisbless, they’ve subsequently failed to score against lowly Ritter Town and now a Finnanless Starling. Karlingless, too - the goalkeeper, short of confidence and ability, is pulled. Instead it’s 21-year old Helena Middlesbrough, standing just 5’7”, making her league debut. She makes a couple of good saves, too - but Treason look abysmal. It’s goals galore elsewhere in the league, though. Crisisbless put four past River, the Chariots past South Laithland, Brinemouth past Cranequin and the Moths past Ritter. Cheney Carrick, the Vermillion Wanderers manager, is sacked after a dismal 3-0 home loss to Cranequin City. Clint Hemingway, the ultimate specialist of direct football, is brought in to shake up the ship.

Gethin Ramsey tries a formation switch to 4-3-3 - Acosta sitting behind Flaccus and Anderton, which looks good on paper. Treason still loses 3-1 to South Laithland, who dumped them out of the Cup earlier. “Last time I’m ever experimenting with shit,” he mutters to the press after the match. Parrhesia United finally scrape a win against Chatswood, who have had an unremarkable season so far. And Brinemouth can only watch Crisisbless in envy, as they succumb to a 2-0 defeat to Vermillion Wanderers. Clint Hemingway’s lads belt it forward to Keyes and Carsten up top, Sandro not even on the bench and reportedly training with the reserves, while the defence keeps it tight. Keyes’ looping header with his back to goal wrongfoots Malone, but there’s nothing fluky at all about their second, Miriam Serrif’s diagonal run to find Matraxis’ forward pass and sliding the ball under Malone. Could the recovery be on?

Hemingway’s Wanderers claim another win - this time in the Vermillion derby. Reasonably tight at the back, they hit Rage on the break, and it gets results. Stephen Frew’s Brinemouth shut down the Chariots, silky work from Connolly in particular putting them down, but a crushing challenge from Darren Reid sees James Watt’s season over. The 31-year old Licentian has been an inspirational captain and a solid player for Brinemouth over the years, but at his age and with Brinemouth looking for any edge they can get, it could prove his last match for the Dockers.

Athletic, fresh off a nervy 1-0 win over Bishop, seem a totally different team against Izotz Zubia - the Audioslav side is well-beaten from head to tail, and it’s a happy homecoming for Coalan Bray (who, having arrived from Shamrock Cathair, certainly isn’t used to beating LigAnaia sides) who scores a powerful volley and a glancing header. A Martin Cilic strike from holding midfield - a collector’s item, but perfectly-struck - wins Athletic a comfortable three-goal cushion. Crisisbless go for broke. They’re caught on the counter once, but while the 5-3-2 of their hosts chokes out their strikers, Haukmann strikes from the flank and Kilbane manages a smooth shot from just outside the box… but a late equaliser from Avendaño puts the celebrations on ice, and they’ll still need to do a job at home.

Crisisbless derby time, and it’s a hell of a match, end-to-end. Crisisbless eventually triumph thanks to their usual quick passing and dominant midfield, but the one time all match Pablo Corderro does get possession for long, his long ball almost the whole length of the pitch is perfect for Cawdor to break free, knock the ball past Gallardo and then sidefoot past Marciak. It’s enough to make it 3-1, and Rourke turns and shoots given seemingly no room to pull it back further, but Kilbane and Keast complete Crisisbless’ victory. Iron City play Maximum Rovers in perhaps the worst game of the season so far, neither side looking like they can even complete a pass, let alone beat Keel or Middleton in the respective goals. Still, Iron are starting to see some daylight between themselves and the bottom four...

Athletic play with the freedom won by their earlier victories, cleaning Zozi out 3-1 at the Barbarossa. It’s somewhat nervier in Crisisbless, and not as good viewing - but Rodriguez are simply worn down. When Sabine Portsgate breaks clear, Gallegos clips her heels. Given that she came on for the rested Arora, the designated penalty-taker, the 22-year old took it herself, clipping it high past Goeransson, and Crisisbless ultimately get through.

Crisisbless sprint ahead of the pack, their midfield simply choking Chatswood’s out as Nodtveit heads home a well-taken set-piece - Knutsen going the short option to find Kilbane, who crosses from a more favourable angle against an off-balance defence. Brinemouth need something against a floundering Treason, but despite Teresa Wintergren (deputising for Watt) snapping home a neatly-taken opener, Roque Acosta inspires a comeback. He leads by example to smash home a free kick before laying on a perfect assist for his countryman, Puntoriero. Solid defence secures Treason the win, but they remain mired in 12th, eleven points out of the UICA places. Crisisbless are now eight points ahead - could they break their title drought at last? North Laithland beat their Southern counterparts - surprisingly, they now sit third in what will most likely be a Champions’ Cup spot by the end of the season. South Laithland, meanwhile, remain mired in second-last.

South Laithland, shockingly, manage to hit Athletic for a 3-1 win. They owe much to the leniant refereeing of Haley Arkwell, but an error from Lind Pressinger in goal - who has otherwise been exemplary throughout and remains a very promising prospect - doesn’t help. Starling, similarly, surprise many when Konrad Braunbier breaks clear of Kearney, rounds Brennan and passes the ball into the net, and when the blunt Wanderers’ attack fails to get past Karling in goal (hoping to win back her starting role, but it looks like the breather from the pressures of the league has done wonders for her) they score again, Lynwood and Braunbier running clear on the break, and when two strikers take on one goalkeeper, there’s only ever one result. Parrhesia have evaporated in the league as North Laithland have built on their early successes, but they still manage a comfortable home victory, Matt Sebastian’s driving header showing that the 27-year old really can lead by example before Cath Rivers does her specialty - knock the ball past Webber and run really quickly to get onto it before smashing past Morgan. Atherton Telfair manages a stumbling but spectacular bicycle kick, but the match is sealed when Fowler brings down Beckcamp in the box and Yttribian international Raul Monti slots home the penalty. Cranequin City, battling to avoid the drop, go out all guns blazing. Crisisbless United show their glass jaw - Shea crashes past their flat-footed defence to smash past Swallowtail before Reinhard Buchanan beats Swallowtail from twenty-seven yards, and as City resolve to park the bus, United, for once, can’t produce anything to beat them. Impressive work from Alice Docherty, City’s biggest question mark last season before being replaced in the league by Marisa Cronin, helps them to the 2-0 win.

Rozelle United have put up a good fight so far for a lower midtable side that made it through by being last year’s Cup winners, and they continue to do so here. One goal in the 15th minute off the counterattack, Atarus Calypso’s slide-rule pass playing in former Northern Union winger Griffin, is only called back for a marginal offside. They manage it better in the 35th through Kirum Ingolfsson, prompting an affectionate cry of “Golfiiiiii!” by the home crowd for their fan favourite Cosumarite forward. But in the second half, they fall apart. First fellow Cosumarite Oehman smashes emphatically past veteran Audioslavian goalkeeper Cillian Najdorf before fellow Audioslav Bray runs rings around the 34-year old former international Drummond before sidefooting between Najdorf’s legs. Tariff hits a post in the 88th minute, but it would have been well against the run of play, and Seward probably had the shot covered anyway.

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                       P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Crisisbless               34  22   9   3  59  23  +36  75
  2 Brinemouth                34  20   7   7  58  26  +32  67
  3 North Laithland           34  19   7   8  63  39  +24  64
  4 Vermillion Rage           34  19   6   9  62  45  +17  63
  5 Sabrefell Moths           34  19   5  10  62  39  +23  62
  6 Sabrefell Athletic        34  16  10   8  61  40  +21  58
  7 Violence Chariots         34  14  14   6  59  33  +26  56
  8 Goodfeather FC            34  14  12   8  50  37  +13  54
  9 Parrhesia United          34  14  10  10  36  36   +0  52
 10 Chatswood                 34  13  11  10  40  35   +5  50
 11 Maximum City              34  12  12  10  38  33   +5  48
 12 AFC Treason               34  11  14   9  46  43   +3  47
 13 Raven River               34  13   6  15  49  53   -4  45
 14 Cranequin Wanderers       34  11  11  12  42  54  -12  44
 15 Crisisbless United        34  10  12  12  55  62   -7  42
 16 Southfell United          34  11   9  14  50  58   -8  42
 17 Bishop                    34   9  10  15  25  43  -18  37
 18 Maximum Rovers            34   8   9  17  28  38  -10  33
 19 Iron City                 34   9   6  19  21  45  -24  33
 20 Cranequin City            34   8   7  19  24  44  -20  31
 21 Ritter Town               34   7   9  18  33  58  -25  30
 22 Vermillion Wanderers      34   6   9  19  35  55  -20  27
 23 South Laithland           34   6   8  20  28  52  -24  26
 24 Starling                  34   4  13  17  22  55  -33  25

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 AFC Serpentine             34  21   6   7  58  24  +34  69
  2 Coret Hawks                34  20   5   9  49  26  +23  65
  3 Chenoworth Harriers        34  18   8   8  35  21  +14  62
  4 West Brinemouth            34  17  10   7  42  25  +17  61
  5 Cypher Town                34  17   7  10  47  26  +21  58
  6 Extreme Hills              34  15  12   7  44  31  +13  57
  7 Chenoworth Rovers          34  17   6  11  34  23  +11  57
  8 Brookford Otters           34  15  11   8  40  26  +14  56
  9 Leichhardt                 34  16   8  10  31  20  +11  56
 10 Sheridan                   34  13  12   9  33  25   +8  51
 11 AFC Shale                  34  14   9  11  29  26   +3  51
 12 Corvette Maulers           34  14   8  12  39  39   +0  50
 13 Newrook City               34  12  12  10  40  29  +11  48
 14 Creed United               34  12  11  11  41  39   +2  47
 15 Martella Jazz              34  14   4  16  51  53   -2  46
 16 Sutcroft                   34  12   8  14  33  41   -8  44
 17 Dross Rovers               34  11   8  15  35  38   -3  41
 18 Rhagant Schadenfreude      34  10   5  19  27  42  -15  35
 19 Locksley                   34  10   5  19  41  61  -20  35
 20 Franchise FC               34   8  10  16  25  43  -18  34
 21 Ox River United            34   8   7  19  26  43  -17  31
 22 Iron United                34   8   7  19  26  52  -26  31
 23 Rochford                   34   5  11  18  24  44  -20  26
 24 Corby Hubris               34   2   8  24  15  68  -53  14

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 North Sabrefell              34  22   5   7  56  26  +30  71
  2 South Parrhesia              34  21   7   6  62  32  +30  70
  3 Armstrong                    34  19  10   5  44  13  +31  67
  4 Mainstream Fist              34  19   8   7  62  35  +27  65
  5 West Hook                    34  18  10   6  51  19  +32  64
  6 Hackett                      34  18   8   8  56  32  +24  62
  7 Crossroads Town              34  16  11   7  54  38  +16  59
  8 Strephonage                  34  14   8  12  39  37   +2  50
  9 East Laithland Harriers      34  12  12  10  62  43  +19  48
 10 Kensey Town                  34  13   8  13  45  44   +1  47
 11 Belgrave                     34  12  11  11  48  54   -6  47
 12 Project +90                  34  13   6  15  44  46   -2  45
 13 Brookway Town                34  13   5  16  42  53  -11  44
 14 Crisisbless Athletic         34  11  10  13  29  36   -7  43
 15 Coret Rovers                 34  10  11  13  50  45   +5  41
 16 Masculine Town               34  10  11  13  33  43  -10  41
 17 Gridlock Rovers              34  10   9  15  33  42   -9  39
 18 Boleyn Town                  34  12   3  19  22  37  -15  39
 19 Iberia Chenoworth            34  11   5  18  41  61  -20  38
 20 Brindleton                   34   8   9  17  24  51  -27  33
 21 Rushe United                 34   6  12  16  43  59  -16  30
 22 Fenland Albion               34   7   9  18  30  50  -20  30
 23 Dubstep Rangers              34   7   7  20  23  51  -28  28
 24 South Brill                  34   3  11  20  23  69  -46  20

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                       P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Diamondqueen              34  18  10   6  62  30  +32  64
  2 Senway Town               34  18   8   8  51  35  +16  62
  3 Gridlock East             34  18   7   9  50  33  +17  61
  4 Dartmouth Terriers        34  16  11   7  50  32  +18  59
  5 Morningstar               34  17   7  10  61  39  +22  58
  6 Chaker Town               34  15  13   6  42  30  +12  58
  7 Forge Carpenters          34  16   8  10  45  37   +8  56
  8 Long Lake                 34  15  11   8  38  31   +7  56
  9 Falston Town              34  15  10   9  55  31  +24  55
 10 North Dubstep             34  13  13   8  54  41  +13  52
 11 Sutcroft Athletic         34  14   9  11  44  43   +1  51
 12 Kommissar                 34  13  11  10  50  45   +5  50
 13 Downsparrow               34  14   6  14  33  34   -1  48
 14 Stonegrave                34  12  12  10  29  30   -1  48
 15 Mantlegrove               34  12   9  13  34  36   -2  45
 16 Blaze                     34  10  12  12  37  38   -1  42
 17 Greygate                  34  11   9  14  39  42   -3  42
 18 Gridlock                  34   8   9  17  24  43  -19  33
 19 Bodkin Road               34   7  11  16  29  40  -11  32
 20 Vermillion Spite          34   8   5  21  36  74  -38  29
 21 Southriver                34   5  12  17  35  55  -20  27
 22 FC United                 34   6   9  19  34  57  -23  27
 23 Bellamy                   34   5  12  17  25  51  -26  27
 24 Pillars of Southfell      34   5  10  19  21  51  -30  25

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Reckdale Town          34  20   7   7  73  46  +27  67
  2 Camwell Road           34  19  10   5  49  25  +24  67
  3 Courser                34  17   9   8  42  34   +8  60
  4 The Strongest          34  15  10   9  65  44  +21  55
  5 Grovebank              34  14  12   8  48  38  +10  54
  6 Harrington             34  14  10  10  49  31  +18  52
  7 Geoff United           34  13  10  11  43  48   -5  49
  8 Tryst Athletic         34  12  11  11  42  46   -4  47
  9 Barcastle Rovers       34  12  10  12  40  42   -2  46
 10 Haymaker Town          34  10  12  12  38  37   +1  42
 11 Stekelenbright         34  12   6  16  39  41   -2  42
 12 The Hanged Man         34  11   8  15  29  33   -4  41
 13 Norton Road            34   8  15  11  31  34   -3  39
 14 Worthall               34  11   6  17  29  39  -10  39
 15 Thratewood             34   9  12  13  34  47  -13  39
 16 Ramsay                 34  10   8  16  42  48   -6  38
 17 Huysegem               34   8  14  12  27  43  -16  38
 18 Perrett                34   9  10  15  34  42   -8  37
 19 Crisisbless Ermac      34  10   6  18  45  60  -15  36
 20 Fully Sick XI          34   7  12  15  35  56  -21  33

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Ringway                    34  22   6   6  64  33  +31  72
  2 Riverkey                   34  21   7   6  63  24  +39  70
  3 Lackerrun                  34  21   6   7  66  40  +26  69
  4 Violence Tigers            34  17  12   5  43  24  +19  63
  5 Fischer                    34  18   7   9  47  27  +20  61
  6 Sandrock                   34  13  11  10  31  27   +4  50
  7 Nay Town                   34  12  13   9  39  39   +0  49
  8 Rookwall                   34  13   8  13  35  36   -1  47
  9 East Slake                 34  12  10  12  37  38   -1  46
 10 Stamper Road               34  11  12  11  47  44   +3  45
 11 Inner-East Fairywrens      34  10  14  10  33  38   -5  44
 12 De La Patria               34  11  10  13  44  40   +4  43
 13 Twelvetrees                34  11   9  14  24  25   -1  42
 14 Norpike                    34  10  11  13  40  47   -7  41
 15 Getton Town                34  10   7  17  46  62  -16  37
 16 Peregrine                  34   8  11  15  27  38  -11  35
 17 Pridehome                  34   9   8  17  31  51  -20  35
 18 Leo                        34   7  10  17  23  33  -10  31
 19 Markoni                    34   3  14  17  29  67  -38  23
 20 Harbrook United            34   3  10  21  32  68  -36  19

by **Nephara** » Sat Jul 25, 2015 4:16 am

The Stags get a vital 1-0 win in terms of trying to salvage their season, but it’s noteworthy that the Moths, playing away, look the better team. But an Acosta corner is powered in by little Kurtis Quinn popping up at the far post. “Is this what the alleged champions-in-waiting are reduced to?” Kirsten Weixelbraun mocked after full-time. “We should have had that game - away - two or three nil. But one mistake’s what’s cost us. The sort of thing I’d expect to say about a relegation battler.” On the subject of relegation battlers, Vermillion Wanderers come tantalisingly close to escaping the drop zone, one point away, when an 89th minute goal - Keyes flicking on the ball into the path of Calisto Matraxis, who almost fluffs the shot but barely manages to scrape the ball into the net. Brinemouth turn up the style by pumping four past Southfell, but can’t put on the pressure - former Crisisbless goalkeeper Dan Keel is beaten twice by his former club, and Crisisbless continue to breeze towards the title.

“We’ll win by three,” claims Athletic leftback Christian Laxenburg before the match. But it’s Laxenburg’s error that allows 22-year old Olivia Schwarzer to pounce, seizing on his misplaced pass and breaking past the Athletic defence. A one-two with Markosian takes her around Pressinger, and she converts from a narrow angle. The second is simpler, though by this stage Athletic face a seemingly insurmountable challenge, and it becomes too much when Schwarzer’s cross is forced home by the big number nine, Kuepper. Starling struggle early on against Cranequin Wanderers, Dirk Conomore beating Karling at a narrow angle. But they hit back on the break, against the run of play - Kurtis Warner breaking past Straker’s sliding challenge on a diagonal run and snapping the ball under Brennan, and Maxine Lynwood is brought down by Kearney in the box. Augustine Bywater steps up to take it, and smoothly converts it to send Starling through - they defend stoutly to hold out for the win. The Saints - ever the Cup specialists - are confident of a victory, but their two-goal advantage is nullified within sixteen minutes. It takes just two for Chloe Rudden to find Rafferty’s diagonal forward pass and smash it, first-time, past Natalia Cyprus. Fourteen later, Rudden’s found Covenant with a low cross, and she whips it past Cyprus with her first touch. The Laithlanders almost hold out for the away-goal win, but a late free kick belted in by Beckcamp sees the gigantic Fallenmarker, Dagbjartur Damkjaer, rise above everyone to head the ball home - Parrhesia are through to the semifinals. Cranequin City join them thanks to an early goal from a scrappy corner, touched home by Scherzer. Crisisbless United, in front of their own fans, fight back valiantly - particularly when Liam Corter is sent off for a tactless foul on Andrea Cawdor - but despite great goals from Cawdor and Strachan, they can’t quite bridge the gap.

Fairly clear-cut… but close, in practice. Yet again, Rozelle rely on the counterattack and aim to keep tight at the back, but when Quillisi finds the perfect pass through their entire defence there’s not much anyone can do about it, Bray sprinting to find the end of it and with a spectacular backheeling nutmeg to get the ball through Drummond, one of the three defenders chasing him. Rowan Gawain, totally unmarked and fourteen yards from goal, effectively has a penalty conversion more than an open play goal, and makes the best of it by driving powerfully home. Good work from Najdorf and more solid defence (particularly through the three-man midfield) gets Rozelle as far as the 76th minute when Griffin beats Seward from just outside the box thanks to a crisp counterattack, but they can’t get a second, and the Nepharim are through to the final.

South Laithland are fresh off their Cup triumph, and find Crisisbless United to be willing lambs to the slaughter. Cheney Markosian hits a 12-minute hattrick, the quickest in Premiership history, all of them neatly-taken. 23rd minute, he took a cross off the chest and fired it first-time past Hennessey. 28th, latching onto Senturk’s fine forward pass and hitting it under Hennessey. 35th, and Matthews’ cross was headed vaguely skyward by Hadrian Kuepper, then Markosian anticipated it before everyone else and headed it home despite being clattered by Hennessey. Senturk scored one of his own in the 49th minute, a great free kick. Markosian later won a penalty, smashed to the turf in the 70th minute by Gannon for her second yellow card. Lochhead converted that off the inside of the crossbar, and Kuepper and Sturrock off the bench would complete the scoring. 7-0 the final score, equalling the highest-ever margin of victory in the modern top flight. There’s further drama at the bottom of the table, too - two six-pointers. Maximum Rovers pass through Vermillion Wanderers easily enough, thoroughly deserving a 2-1 victory, but while the Wanderers’ crosses were ill-timed against the Rovers’ towering centreback pairing, one from Marlborough nevertheless cannonned off Sweane’s face past Middleton in the 86th minute. Ritter Town were at home and valiantly attacked Iron City for 90 minutes, but were chasing the game for 76 of them after a potent counterattack. Dan Keel defied them when a solid, disciplined defence couldn’t, and Postecoglou hit them on the break again on the stroke of half-time, so when Ash Purrington finally managed to open Ritter’s account seven minutes from time it was scant consolation.

Crisisbless seemed to be cruising to a comfortable victory against Stvoto Latolisi opponents, until a late strike from O’Bearga beat Marciak to pull one back for the visitors. They’ll need to be on their guard for the away trip. Rebecca Larkland returned to Nephara for the first time in a sky blue shirt, the U-21 international and former Leichhardt defender still fondly remembered on these shores, but Sabrefell Athletic dispatch strong opponents cleanly and efficiently. Bray is marked down, but Quillisi’s still firing in passes from his holding midfield role, chalking up an assist for Reiter. Reiter, in turn, sets up Rowan Gawain for a neatly-taken second, and Athletic look comfortable.

After three straight goalless defeats for Bishop, the First Division champions finally put some distance between themselves and the bottom three with a convincing 3-0 win over Ritter Town. The pace of Lukas Kruse on the right carves them open time and time again, two goals on the same theme of beating Ritter with pace before his cutback provides Ulrich Crane with an easy chance in the 65th minute. Crane, who has endured a difficult first season in the Premiership, stabs the ball past a floundering Cunningham to get his first goal in nine games. Crisisbless surprisingly lose to Cranequin City in a match where Marisa Cronin has a blinder - “The last ninety minutes were a blur,” she confesses to the press after the 1-0 win - but Brinemouth can’t capitalise. 1-0 up against Sabrefell Athletic, they then concede a goal late in the first and early in the second half before a 81st-minute equaliser courtesy of Juquinho’s volley in a spectacular game.

Despite the early setback of a Johan Haukmann own goal leaving them needing to score to avoid an away goals defeat, the experience of Sur Arora comes to the fore. The 34-year old still shows he has it with a neatly-taken first goal before Knutsen is felled in the box for a penalty. Arora steps up and dispatches it with ease, and Crisisbless go through. It’s almost a homecoming for Equestrian defender Brix Hamilton, and it’s a day her opposite numbers will want to forget. Coalan Bray finds space where there was none away, and scores two out of Athletic’s four that day. Sebastian Seward in the Athletic goal is barely tested, and having humbled a good side, Athletic are starting to come into the conversation as potential victors. Good thing, too - the domestic title’s far out of reach.

Vermillion Wanderers can’t muster a shot on target. Crisisbless muster thirteen, and five of them get past big Matt Roosevelt. The Heelers look every inch the champions, and as long as they can keep being consistent, they should manage to bring it home. Treason’s bad season goes to worse as Maximum City manage a scrappy home win over them to liven up a pretty dire season - two solid defences, but one good cross brings Fitzpatrick past his marker and the Cosumarite makes no mistake, firing across Miller. As Gethin Ramsey looks furious on the touchline, the camera pans towards a single, laconic sign held by a Maximum City supporter - ‘Mad Because Bad’.

South Laithland look to be pulling themselves out of trouble, three straight league wins and in the semifinals of the Cup, and with a winnable home fixture at Bishop. But - finally - Bishop show what they’re capable of. South Laithland’s supposed advantage of experience means nothing when they can’t put the finishing touch past Evan Katsouranis in goal, while their own defence proves porous at best. Goals for Lukas Kruse and Emerald Sheehan give Bishop a deserved victory. Starling are the winners at the bottom of the table by actually managing to actually win a game, while Ritter and Vermillion Wanderers play out a 1-1 draw short on quality and Iron City sink to defeat at the hands of Cranequin Wanderers. Dan Keel, reliable for them throughout the season, drops a cross in the 56th minute. Croft Drinkwater doesn’t miss chances like that, and stabs it clumsily home for the only goal of the game.

Maximum City, normally so dire to watch, somehow fire six goals past a 10-man Raven River. Trystan Fitzpatrick, who had not exactly lit up the league to that point, just shrugs and smiles to the press after taking the match-ball with a perfect hattrick; left foot, right foot, head. “Some days in soccer- in football, y’know, every time you hit the ball it just goes in. Today was one of those days.” Veteran goalkeeper Kieron Riordan in the River net spends close to all ninety minutes screaming bloody murder at his own defence. But no matter how low you feel, someone’s always doing worse. Chatswood and Treason, for example, play out a dull 0-0 derby marked by dirty play and little else, hardly putting any glamour on disappointing seasons. Vermillion Wanderers, 2-0 up against Starling at half-time, but a fantastic fightback by the hosts gives them three vital points. It includes a brace for Maxine Lynwood, hitherto curiously ineffective despite showing so much promise for Newrook City in the past. South Laithland, brought crashing down to earth with an injury-time winner for Bruce Shea. Or Vermillion Rage … beaten 3-0 by Ritter Town. The Stallions have shown all the endeavour in the world, but the final ball has so rarely been there for them. But one night at the Stableground, it all came together for them, and they’re still in with a hope of staying up.

Sabrefell Athletic are simply the better team against Alianza, Daniel Cromwell not enjoying the happiest of returns to Nephara, and not for the first time. Bray, Oehman and, after a storming run down the left that took him past six players and immediately goes viral, Christian Laxenburg all get on the scoresheet. But things aren’t quite so simple for Crisisbless. In Candace Rivers and Erin Camden (both internationals), Union have two talented midfielders who aren’t afraid to take on Crisisbless’ tight, talented unit. Mostly, they put the ball down the flanks, Mick Hadley and Dani Pendragon wreaking havoc along the channels. Rivers’ forward pass was found by Hadley’s diagonal run, with neither leftback Haukmann nor left-sided centreback Nodtveit picking up the run, and Hadley fired low past Pawlo Marciak. Aided by the overlapping run of Diandra Branagh, Pendragon gets into position to fire a powerful low cross that Fiacre Bellerose strokes home for a 2-0 lead by the 39th minute. Crisisbless fight back valiantly, but the primary aim is to keep it tight at the back, and they can’t pull a goal back. “We’ll break ‘em back home,” rumbles Nodtveit with quiet confidence.

In a twist of fate, the two remaining Nepharim teams in UICA tournaments play each other between quarterfinal legs. Crisisbless, with a 2-0 defeat to overturn, rest key players Arora and Knutsen. Even so, they’re capable of bringing out the win - Khan shifted to the front, St. Cleer into the middle and Augustine Brandon performing admirably in defensive midfield, while Keast, Kilbane and Khan seal a 3-1 win. Brescia Stubbs is the only Chatswood player to have anything to cheer about - she sets a record! For quickest red card, as a flying elbow in the 2nd-minute breaks Curio’s cheekbone and is less than kind on his nose, either. Curio, blood streaming, scores twice on the way to a 6-1 win, while Southfell United manage a victory over Ritter Town by the same scoreline that rather deflates the Stallions’ hopes.

By the time Jaervinen equalises in the 76th minute, it’s already over for Alianza. 4-1 down on aggregate, that becomes 5-1 as the Reds storm into the semifinals on a high when Matt Breen hurls himself at Oehman’s corner and heads it powerfully past Cromwell. Crisisbless won’t be joining them. In the 15th minute, a spectacular short-passing move from Crisisbless culminated in Sur Arora passing the ball, unmarked, into the net. But as they surge forward in search of an aggregate equaliser, a poor pass from Kilbane is hoofed away by former Crisisbless man Seth Greig along the wings. Hadley picks up possession and gets it forward to Bellerose, who takes it on the chest, turns and shoots past Marciak from twenty-eight yards. A fantastic goal, and it breaks the Heelers’ hearts - the game ends 1-1, and Crisisbless finally crash out.

Maxine Lynwood has finally found her feet. Finding Slateport’s forward ball on the counterattack, she hurdles Morespike’s sliding challenge, outruns Julian Grey, watches Kirsten Gerrard slip on a slick pitch and belts the ball past Rachel Schroeder. Her second, Starling’s third, and they are, miraculously, coming close to a recovery. Iron City and South Laithland also get good points, and Vermillion Wanderers are looking to join them… until Kristian Hardwick kicks Croft Drinkwater in the face as a cross was coming in. Unsurprisingly, the big Semarlander was sent off. 38-year old Drinkwater might have had blood pouring from his face, but he still managed to place the penalty past Matt Roosevelt for the win. They, alone of all the sides in the top flight, look like they’re going down.

A low-quality game between South Laithland and Starling, unsurprising for two sides mired deep in the relegation battle. It’s settled when Seneca Matthews lofts a cross into Starling’s box. Karling punches out convincingly, but falls heavily on captain Natalia Gentlesteed and puts them both out of commission. Hadrian Kuepper heads the ball into the empty net, easy as that. Reece Benedict makes a number of good saves to keep the clean sheet, but it’s hardly a decisive one. Parrhesia United are a far better team than Cranequin City on paper, and a powerful drive by Raul Monti smashes past Alice Docherty seemingly putting them on course for a convincing victory. But the Saints never make things easy on themselves. Roy Chalker’s knees somehow haven’t exploded by the 79th minute, and when he lofts a diagonal free kick over the wall, a mix-up between Ryalusci and Cyprus leaves the prophetically-numbered 13 goalkeeper unable to do anything about the set piece which floats insolently into the back of the net.

The Saints bring a run of four straight defeats in the league without a goal to a close with an unconvincing 1-1 draw with Ritter Town, though the goal was a cracker - Beckcamp’s flamboyant scissor kick leaving Cunningham with no chance. But Warwick’s glancing header ensures the Saints’ slide continues. Erica Brewer and Reinhard Shale, assistant and manager at Maximum Rovers, Treason and the Buyan national team, are reunited. It’s been a difficult season for the Rovers, as usual, but Brewer doesn’t do her old side any favours. The Rovers’ defence crumbles under the pressure of passing for Keast to sidefoot ball past Middleton, but holds firm for the rest of the match, and Lucy Curren comes off the Rovers’ bench and nearly steals a point - throwing out a boot for a low diagonal cross, she hits the upright as Marciak is left motionless. But Brinemouth keep up the chase thanks to a pulsating 3-2 win over Goodfeather FC. There’s no celebrations yet.

A neat passage from play from Starling sees Lynwood clip the ball past Reece Benedict. With the Passerines resolute in defence but lacking a further cutting edge in attack, it goes to extra time - and it takes a heartbreaking own goal from the big converted rightback, Henrick Davenport, to take South Laithland through to the final. It’s a much more straightforward affair for Parrhesia United, as they put their recent poor form to bed by pumping three goals past Docherty in a throwback to how they played in the first half of the season - dazzling, quick football permanently on the front foot with lethal finishing from Monti.

Crunch time. Crisisbless keep their cool at the top of the table, though a vintage game from Cath Gilchrist means that they only manage the one goal - Keast’s header when Erick Khan clips the ball into the box. But Brinemouth fight their way back from 2-1 down at half-time - some great saves from Gerry Malone helps, but with a long ball out to the flanks he provides the platform for Teresa Wintergren to stroke home. Mathias’ inch-perfect pass in the 85th minute puts Juquinho through on goal for the winner, but the Apox striker’s first touch is overcooked. Somehow he runs onto it before Hennessey or anyone else can find it and actually drags it back to send the chasing defenders, Dailly and Curran, floundering. Almost smugly, he sidefoots the ball into the net as Gannon helplessly slides into the net - a world-class atonement for a basic error. Vermillion Wanderers are finally put down for good by AFC Treason, who give them a right thumping - 4-1, including a Puntoriero hattrick. But Lukas Farrell’s placed strike from distance keeps Ritter in the fight, while a former Moth comes off the bench to beat Sabrefell Athletic - Peter Oliver’s late header steering South Laithland to their fourth win over Sabrefell Athletic of the season!

Athletic find themselves drawn against Northern Union, who are fresh off beating one Nepharim team and are champing at the bit to take out another. Dani Pendragon breaks past Bergman early on and smashes a low shot that Seward does well to beat away, and only a perfect sliding challenge from Brix Hamilton stops Bellerose from putting the ball in the net. But as Athletic settle into the game, they’re finally able to get some leverage, and a quickly-taken free kick sees Reiter streak through the defensive line and sidefoot the ball past Shazib. The home crowd, now hellbent on murdering the referee for allowing the goal, is silenced just six minutes later as Rowan Gawain breaks through the middle and fires high past Shazib just inside the box, the shot bouncing off the crossbar and on the line. Coalan Bray reacts quickest to head the ball into an empty net, a flat-footed Brady Monroe crashing into him after the fact. But Union have threatened throughout the match, and deserve to pull one back - Pendragon breaks past every defender but Hamilton, who forces her into a narrow angle, but she’s still able to cut the ball back for Bellerose to slash the ball high over Seward.

The only way it could be more dramatic is if it was on the last matchday. Crisisbless, at the top of the table, visit Brinemouth, the only team that can stop them. The Dockers are forced to pass the trophy as they walk out - the trophy that they can’t yet win. Reinhard Shale’s Crisisbless are on 99 points, Stephen Frew’s Brinemouth on 95 and with better goal difference. Buoyed on by their home fans, Brinemouth put themselves on the front foot early on - but as they’ve done throughout the season, Crisisbless look to hold firm. But when Jess Carragher brutalises Kilbane in midfield and rushes forward, it looks like things might just open up. Her shot is deflected off Nodtveit, but Juquinho acts quicker than Gallardo and races onto it, almost putting it out to touch. But Carragher keeps running, Juquinho desperately cuts it back for her, and her low, powerful volley beats Marciak. It forces Crisisbless to open up, and the gaps are found by Saskia Hasselbaink - a one-two with Connolly sees the leftback forge ahead of every other Brinemouth player, and she hits the shot past Marciak. But Crisisbless manage to pull a goal back in the 44th minute, sending some doubt into a rapturous home crowd - Berenger’s cross headed back to Knutsen from Keast, with Knutsen’s pass finding Arora slipping his marker to convert at the back post. Crisisbless seem revitalised as they press in the second half, Brinemouth unable to do anything but try and hit on the counterattack. They do that well - Connolly hits the side netting at one stage - but Crisisbless remain on the front foot. Malone saves well from a curling shot from Kilbane, Keast hits a post but there’s nothing anyone can do when Kilbane’s forward pass to Arora is passed back to find Espen Knutsen’s run. He’s been the standout player for Crisisbless this season, the standout player in the league, and he has the whole goal in front of him. He goes low, to the left, with power to beat Gerry Malone - and with a 2-2 draw, Crisisbless finally, finally lift the league trophy for the first time in the modern era. Even the home crowd can only applaud. The Heelers deserve this.

Sabrefell Athletic rested a number of players in a pedestrian 1-0 win over Cranequin Wanderers, all in preparation for this game. It’s a justified move, as Northern Union go out determined to overturn their home defeat. It takes just five minutes for them to get the first goal they need - Matt Breen crunching Dani Pendragon just outside the box and picking up a yellow card, and Erin Camden curls the free kick beautifully over the wall and past Seward. But the fun ends there for them. Bray stabs home the first, a true poacher’s goal, before Oehman and Gawain pump up the scoreline. Union respond in the 52nd minute, Bellerose’s flick-on finding Hadley at the far post to get the ball in the net. Victory still mathematically possible for Union… but Athletic kill them off in the 68th minute, Bray’s diving header off Oehman’s cross his second, Athletic’s fourth, sealing a 6-3 win on aggregate. Still... Union will get their chance at revenge. After all, they're set to meet Athletic in the regional final...

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                       P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Crisisbless               45  30  10   5  77  29  +48 100  Champions
  2 Brinemouth                45  29   9   7  89  36  +53  96  CC
  3 Sabrefell Moths           45  26   7  12  88  51  +37  85  UICA
  4 North Laithland           45  25   9  11  73  47  +26  84  UICA
  5 Violence Chariots         45  22  15   8  79  43  +36  81  GC
  6 Sabrefell Athletic        45  20  14  11  77  55  +22  74
  7 Goodfeather FC            45  19  15  11  63  46  +17  72
  8 AFC Treason               45  18  16  11  60  48  +12  70
  9 Vermillion Rage           45  21   7  17  73  68   +5  70
 10 Chatswood                 45  17  14  14  52  51   +1  65
 11 Southfell United          45  17  12  16  70  70   +0  63
 12 Maximum City              45  16  14  15  52  44   +8  62
 13 Parrhesia United          45  16  13  16  45  54   -9  61
 14 Raven River               45  15  11  19  61  71  -10  56
 15 Cranequin Wanderers       45  14  14  17  48  65  -17  56
 16 Crisisbless United        45  12  15  18  65  83  -18  51
 17 Maximum Rovers            45  12  12  21  38  48  -10  48
 18 Bishop                    45  12  12  21  38  59  -21  48
 19 Cranequin City            45  12   9  24  34  57  -23  45
 20 South Laithland           45  10  11  24  48  67  -19  41
 21 Iron City                 45  11   7  27  26  61  -35  40
 22 Ritter Town               45   9  12  24  46  80  -34  39
 23 Starling                  45   7  17  21  33  66  -33  38
 24 Vermillion Wanderers      45   7  11  27  44  80  -36  32  R

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 AFC Serpentine             45  27   9   9  74  34  +40  90  P
  2 Coret Hawks                45  25   9  11  61  32  +29  84  P
  3 West Brinemouth            45  23  13   9  57  30  +27  82
  4 Chenoworth Rovers          45  24   8  13  47  27  +20  80
  5 Chenoworth Harriers        45  23  10  12  50  31  +19  79
  6 Cypher Town                45  22  10  13  66  36  +30  76
  7 Extreme Hills              45  21  13  11  61  41  +20  76
  8 Leichhardt                 45  21  13  11  40  25  +15  76
  9 Corvette Maulers           45  20  11  14  54  48   +6  71
 10 Newrook City               45  17  16  12  58  40  +18  67
 11 Brookford Otters           45  17  15  13  48  37  +11  66
 12 AFC Shale                  45  17  12  16  36  38   -2  63
 13 Sheridan                   45  14  20  11  40  33   +7  62
 14 Sutcroft                   45  17  11  17  42  50   -8  62
 15 Creed United               45  15  14  16  53  56   -3  59
 16 Martella Jazz              45  17   6  22  59  65   -6  57
 17 Dross Rovers               45  13  11  21  40  50  -10  50
 18 Rhagant Schadenfreude      45  14   6  25  33  54  -21  48
 19 Ox River United            45  11  12  22  35  54  -19  45
 20 Iron United                45  12   9  24  36  66  -30  45
 21 Rochford                   45  10  14  21  39  56  -17  44
 22 Franchise FC               45   9  13  23  34  61  -27  40  R
 23 Locksley                   45  11   7  27  48  86  -38  40  R
 24 Corby Hubris               45   4  10  31  27  88  -61  22  R

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 South Parrhesia              45  29   8   8  81  42  +39  95  P
  2 North Sabrefell              45  29   7   9  71  35  +36  94  P
  3 Mainstream Fist              45  26  11   8  84  47  +37  89  P
  4 Armstrong                    45  25  13   7  60  24  +36  88  P
  5 West Hook                    45  24  12   9  65  27  +38  84
  6 Crossroads Town              45  23  13   9  70  45  +25  82
  7 Hackett                      45  23  10  12  75  45  +30  79
  8 Strephonage                  45  20  11  14  66  49  +17  71
  9 Crisisbless Athletic         45  16  14  15  43  45   -2  62
 10 Belgrave                     45  15  16  14  58  62   -4  61
 11 Coret Rovers                 45  14  17  14  70  57  +13  59
 12 East Laithland Harriers      45  14  16  15  76  62  +14  58
 13 Boleyn Town                  45  18   4  23  34  48  -14  58
 14 Brookway Town                45  17   7  21  57  75  -18  58
 15 Masculine Town               45  15  12  18  44  53   -9  57
 16 Kensey Town                  45  14  12  19  53  60   -7  54
 17 Gridlock Rovers              45  13  13  19  47  58  -11  52
 18 Project +90                  45  15   7  23  57  69  -12  52
 19 Iberia Chenoworth            45  15   7  23  54  79  -25  52
 20 Fenland Albion               45  11  11  23  43  66  -23  44
 21 Dubstep Rangers              45  10  10  25  36  68  -32  40  R
 22 Brindleton                   45   9  12  24  33  69  -36  39  R
 23 Rushe United                 45   7  14  24  56  85  -29  35  R
 24 South Brill                  45   4  11  30  30  93  -63  23  R

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                       P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Senway Town               45  28   9   8  73  41  +32  93  P
  2 Diamondqueen              45  22  14   9  72  37  +35  80  P
  3 Morningstar               45  23  10  12  82  51  +31  79
  4 Gridlock East             45  22  11  12  65  41  +24  77
  5 Dartmouth Terriers        45  21  14  10  61  41  +20  77
  6 Chaker Town               45  20  16   9  59  43  +16  76
  7 Long Lake                 45  20  14  11  50  41   +9  74
  8 Falston Town              45  18  15  12  68  43  +25  69
  9 Forge Carpenters          45  19  12  14  56  50   +6  69
 10 Stonegrave                45  18  15  12  44  40   +4  69
 11 North Dubstep             45  17  17  11  65  50  +15  68
 12 Mantlegrove               45  18  13  14  51  43   +8  67
 13 Kommissar                 45  17  15  13  64  58   +6  66
 14 Greygate                  45  17  12  16  58  53   +5  63
 15 Sutcroft Athletic         45  17  12  16  62  62   +0  63
 16 Downsparrow               45  16   8  21  43  57  -14  56
 17 Blaze                     45  13  14  18  44  55  -11  53
 18 Southriver                45  10  14  21  53  72  -19  44
 19 FC United                 45  11  10  24  46  70  -24  43
 20 Vermillion Spite          45  11   5  29  50  96  -46  38
 21 Bellamy                   45   6  19  20  32  61  -29  37
 22 Gridlock                  45   8  13  24  25  55  -30  37
 23 Bodkin Road               45   7  13  25  35  59  -24  34  R
 24 Pillars of Southfell      45   7  13  25  28  67  -39  34  R/color]

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
[color=#008000]  1 Reckdale Town          38  22   8   8  83  54  +29  74
  2 Camwell Road           38  20  12   6  54  29  +25  72
  3 Courser                38  21   9   8  50  34  +16  72
  4 The Strongest          38  17  11  10  76  50  +26  62
  5 Harrington             38  17  10  11  57  33  +24  61
  6 Geoff United           38  16  10  12  50  53   -3  58
  7 Grovebank              38  14  14  10  51  44   +7  56
  8 Tryst Athletic         38  13  12  13  47  59  -12  51
  9 The Hanged Man         38  14   8  16  36  35   +1  50
 10 Barcastle Rovers       38  13  11  14  43  48   -5  50
 11 Thratewood             38  11  13  14  39  51  -12  46
 12 Haymaker Town          38  10  14  14  40  41   -1  44
 13 Stekelenbright         38  12   8  18  41  45   -4  44
 14 Norton Road            38   9  16  13  36  41   -5  43
 15 Ramsay                 38  11  10  17  47  54   -7  43
 16 Perrett                38  11  10  17  40  47   -7  43
 17 Huysegem               38   9  16  13  32  49  -17  43
 18 Worthall               38  11   7  20  31  46  -15  40
 19 Fully Sick XI          38   9  13  16  42  61  -19  40
 20 Crisisbless Ermac      38  10   8  20  48  69  -21  38

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Riverkey                   38  24   7   7  72  28  +44  79
  2 Ringway                    38  24   6   8  70  36  +34  78
  3 Lackerrun                  38  24   6   8  77  44  +33  78
  4 Violence Tigers            38  19  12   7  47  28  +19  69
  5 Fischer                    38  19   9  10  54  33  +21  66
  6 Stamper Road               38  14  13  11  57  46  +11  55
  7 Sandrock                   38  14  12  12  35  34   +1  54
  8 Nay Town                   38  12  15  11  41  45   -4  51
  9 Rookwall                   38  14   9  15  39  48   -9  51
 10 De La Patria               38  13  11  14  50  44   +6  50
 11 Norpike                    38  12  13  13  44  48   -4  49
 12 Inner-East Fairywrens      38  11  16  11  35  41   -6  49
 13 Twelvetrees                38  13   9  16  27  28   -1  48
 14 East Slake                 38  12  10  16  39  51  -12  46
 15 Getton Town                38  12   8  18  52  63  -11  44
 16 Pridehome                  38  10  10  18  36  57  -21  40
 17 Peregrine                  38   9  12  17  31  43  -12  39
 18 Leo                        38   8  11  19  26  39  -13  35
 19 Markoni                    38   4  15  19  30  72  -42  27
 20 Harbrook United            38   4  12  22  38  72  -34  24

by **Nephara** » Thu Jul 30, 2015 11:39 pm

Final Matchday Fixtures
Chatswood vs. Brinemouth
Chatswood are set to finish somewhere between 10th and 12th after a disappointing season, Brinemouth are locked into second. The two have had a knack of being drawn against one another on final matchdays, and there’s something of a rivalry brewing - it’s always a tasty affair. But nothing’s riding on it this time.

Ritter Town vs. Crisisbless
Crisisbless are the champions… but Ritter Town absolutely need to win to have even a chance of staying up. They’ve been spirited throughout the season, and won’t go down without a fight.

Iron City vs. Crisisbless United
Iron City realistically need to win, and hope that South Laithland can’t beat the Rovers, to stay up. At least they’re at home, and Crisisbless United have basically nothing to play for.

Starling vs. Goodfeather FC
Goodfeather are 7th, and if Sabrefell Athletic win the Globe Cup final and receive an extra Champions’ Cup place, the Quakers stand to benefit with a Globe Cup spot. They need to win, and might actually overtake Athletic into a guaranteed Globe Cup place. Starling need to win, too - roughly 15-0.

Bishop vs. Maximum City
In what should be a fairly dull game, neither team has anything to play for.

South Laithland vs. Maximum Rovers
South Laithland need a win to be sure of survival, but their superior goal difference means that a draw might be good enough, as would defeat if neither of the teams below them can capitalise. The Rovers have nothing to play for save the symbolism of reaching the 50-point mark, after what has been a typically Rovers season.

Cranequin City vs. North Laithland
Despite an anemic attack, City have confounded their critics to stay up almost comfortably. North Laithland have also exceeded all expectations, and if they can win (and the Moths don’t), they can snatch 3rd place.

Cranequin Wanderers vs. Parrhesia United
The Wanderers are fine - so are Parrhesia, despite their spectacular capitulation over the second half of the season. A dead rubber.

Vermillion Wanderers vs. Raven River
Vermillion Wanderers are the only team whose fate so far is sealed - Clint Hemingway managed two wins immediately after coming in, but just one after that. Anderson Sandro is set to start after the injury to Jayce Carsten three weeks back. Raven River, who can’t finish higher than 14th, should at least have some fun pummelling them.

Violence Chariots vs. Sabrefell Athletic
A bitter rivalry, but the Chariots are 5th unless they win and North Laithland loses. Athletic would, ideally, need at least a draw to almost certainly keep Goodfeather out of 6th, but it’s a moot point if they can win the Globe Cup anyway - and they’re resting players for it.

Vermillion Rage vs. Sabrefell Moths
Vermillion have regressed to the mean this season, which is still pretty good, honestly. The Moths need a win to be sure of clinging onto 3rd, which they can still lose to Vermillion.

AFC Treason vs. Southfell United
Treason have had a truly awful season… but they can scrape into the World Cup. They have to win, Goodfeather must lose, and Sabrefell Athletic must win the Globe Cup. Southfell have happily floated around midtable as expected, and nothing’s riding on it.

KICK-OFF!
1 min - And already, Vermillion Wanderers have nearly conceded. A long drive from Vaughan is caught between Jasper Cheswick’s legs. It trickles to Olgina Harrison, who blazes over from twelve yards.
2 mins - First yellow card. Unsurprisingly, from Chatswood - Miller scything down Connolly as she bore down on goal.
3 mins - Oh dear, oh dear. Vermillion look shaky - but it’s Starling doing their best clown impressions early on, a short pass going straight to Andrey Rettinger. He spends about two seconds looking confused before lofting a shot past a stranded Helena Middlesbrough. STR 0-1 GDF.
4 mins - Ritter nearly go ahead! Only a scrambling double save from Marciak keeps the champions level - first from Wolfgang, then the opportunistic scuffed shot from Ash Purrington.
5 mins - Lukas Kruse has looked good in the Premiership, all pace and stamina and decent finishing, too. A speculative drive from thirty-five yards has Jelic beaten and skims off the top of the crossbar.
6 mins - There’s an opening for Iron City! Not in their own game, but South Laithland have conceded to a heavily-rested Rovers side! Dobrovolskas comes charging down the right-hand side to find Chapin’s pass, and his cross to Drake is perfect. Drake himself can’t direct his header on target - the pressure’s too hard from Glaive - but he can flick it onto the darting Lucy Curren, who sweeps home from five yards. SLA 0-1 MXR.
7 mins - What’s this? Reinhard Buchanan has a mazy run from midfield, beats three men and despite the options around him decides he might as well give it a shot. He drives the ball past Corren into the bottom corner. Sensational! CRC 1-0 NLA.
8 mins - Well, that’s just unfortunate. Parrhesia’s dynamic winger Cath Rivers has pulled up, and it looks serious - right before the Cup Final, even! That’s a blow.
9 mins - Kurtis Rough goes right for Johan Haukmann’s knees, sending him sprawling. He’s lucky to stay on the pitch - and Ritter need him, he’s a good rightback. Despite his… moments.
10 mins - Rettinger’s glancing header from a Sutcliff cross is enough - Middlesbrough gets fingers on it, but the Quakers increase their lead. Karl Finnan slumps onto the post. STR 0-2 GDF.
11 mins - It can’t be. Anderson Sandro takes Matraxis’ pass to feet, turns in a flash to beat Donachy, feints past Pritchard and nutmegs veteran goalkeeper Riordan. It’s a sensational goal! It’s only his second of the season! As he runs down to the home end to celebrate, however, the disgruntled active support is less than pleased, and Sandro is felled amidst a rain of hurled water bottles, coins and chips. It actually looks like one’s got him on the head. He’ll have to be brought to the sidelines for the time being, but the fact remains; VRW 1-0 RVR!
12 mins - Or not. The short-handed Wanderers aren’t able to react in time as Machan’s flying run down the wing is cut back for Strauss. The former Brinemouth striker sidefoots home confidently. VRW 1-1 RVR.
13 mins - Worthy of note - it’s Karena Braham’s first start in the Premiership as Sabrefell Athletic rest everyone they can for the Globe Cup. She turned 20 only two months back, and nearly marks her debut with a goal, but the left-sided attacking midfielder’s curling long shot hits the top-right intersection of the goalposts. One to watch, perhaps.
14 mins - It’s very much not a debut start for 37-year old Croft Drinkwater, who’s been linked with a move abroad, but he hits a post as well. A good save by Koeller denies him, hits the foot of the woodwork and is smashed out to touch by Craig Ryalusci.
15 mins - Well, Connolly gets the better of Miller at the second time of asking. Cutting back inside and firing past Shrike, Brinemouth leads. CHT 0-1 BRI.
16 mins - Iron might be level on points with South Laithland as it stands, but they owe it to their defence and slightly wayward finishing from United. Garnet Langerak clears a scrappy corner off the line that Dan Keel - a good shot-stopper but not reliable at dealing with crosses - flaps hopelessly at.
17 mins - If North Laithland can find a way back, they could snatch third - Vermillion Rage score as a silky series of passes is capped off by Seb Woodlark’s cool finish. Peterson in goal is incandescent - where was the defending? VRR 1-0 SFM.
18 mins - Curio tries an overhead bicycle kick as all three Vermillion centrebacks look too excited at the prospect to do more than stand around and watch… but it’s five clear feet over the bar. The dual-national Paradystopi-Apoxian’s been a revelation this season but will have to do better than that.
19 mins - Graz breaks through on goal… but drags his shot wide of the post. Chatswood should be level. Fitzpatrick gets the ball in the net for Maximum City but he’s a good half a yard offside, and flagged accordingly.
20 mins - Crisisbless are managing 71% possession over Ritter Town, who are simply trying to hit it along the flanks and running at the defence. No breakthrough yet, though Riko Raske comes close to putting it into his own net from a low Berenger cross.
21 mins - Southfell’s 32-year old striker Lily Schindler is remembered fondly by Treason fans - not as the best striker out there but someone who always gave her all for the side and was happy to sit on the bench, never taking the spotlight for herself. She’s applauded by the home and the away crowd when she half-volleys home from eighteen yards, Miller left motionless. TRE 0-1 SFU.
22 mins - An overhit cross by Dobrovolskas shades the crossbar, Benedict out of position. A close shave there for the Spiders, who really haven’t gotten into the game.
23 mins - It’s a slick pitch at the Scythes - too slick for Jess Leinster, who falls over while trying to take a corner. At least there’s not been any crowd trouble yet.
24 mins - Seems to be a bit of a lull in proceedings-
25 mins - Oh, or not. When it rains, it pours. Leinster avenges her slip with an inch-perfect cross that Darek Norgen arrows past Seward, while in Vermillion, the notoriously-bad pitch works in the visitors’ favour. Cheswick misjudges a clearance after a bobble, and Olgina Harrison acts with a pace that belies her 35 years to sweep home the goal that puts River in front. VIC 1-0 SFA; VRW 1-2 RVR.
26 mins - And another! Auburn Tarrant pulls the trigger from eighteen yards and leaves Marlborough floundering. This is becoming a slaughter. STR 0-3 GDF.
27 mins - After so many goals, it is perhaps only natural that Rough’s cross to give Ash Purrington a free header misses the goal entirely, Pawlo Marciak in goal with one of those funny little “Oh fuck I’m going to concede and there’s nothing I can do- nevermind” hops.
28 mins - In a microcosm of Vermillion Wanderers’ season so far, rightback Marian Christon waves everyone forward for a long through, takes four steps back for the runup and falls over an advertising board.
29 mins - Advantage Smiths in a basically meaningless fixture. Bishop goalkeeper Evan (short for Evangelos) Katsouranis has been consistently good all season, but he should’ve done far better against Eloise Parrish’s shot. Instead, he’s beaten at his near post. BSH 0-1 MXC.
30 mins - It’s worthy of note that Third Division Senway Town, already locked into first place, is 6-0 up against Bellamy, who needed to win to stay up. Edgar Harlech, Senway’s 23-year old star striker, already has four.
31 mins - Lynwood really should pull one back for Starling, played through on goal and pulling the trigger. Gilchrist makes an amazing save to push it out, just past the post, but she shouldn’t’ve had the chance to. Lynwood’s had a disappointing season for the Passerines, it must be said.
32 mins - The champions finally break through against Ritter Town! Arora isn’t playing, but Sabrine Portsgate’s getting a run-out, and when Knutsen’s pass gets to her she turns nicely to stab it past a stationary Cunningham. RTT 0-1 CRI.
33 mins - Penalty given! Mind, referees tend to cave when they’re in front of the home end of the Gauntlet, but it does look like Puntoriero’s heels were clipped by Kirsten Gerrard… she isn’t booked for the tackle, but cops a yellow for dissent anyway.
34 mins - And Puntoriero’s countryman, Roque Acosta, dispatches it easily. Schroeder goes the right way, but not with much conviction, and can’t get her hands to it. Acosta’s already been linked away after the Stags’ poor season - hopefully it doesn’t end on this. But if it does, at least he has a goal to show for it. TRE 1-1 SFU.
35 mins - Hearts stop as Cheney Markosian neatly chests down Seneca Matthews’ cross unmarked… but he dwells on possession when he really just needs to pull the trigger, and Colm Sweane comes flying in to slide tackle the ball out for a throw. Should’ve equalised. Didn’t.
36 mins - And it’s a narrow escape for Iron City! Andrea Cawdor, who has been sensational the whole season, is played through their defence with an inch-perfect Corderro pass… but as Keel rushes in, surely too late, Cawdor drags it just wide of the far post! The Reds are fortunate.
37 mins - Distinctly less fortunate is Ace Flynn. Teresa Wintergren knocks the ball past Chaplain and outraces her to it before a low, venomous cross flashes across goal. Juquinho’s the obvious target, or Connolly running in from the left, but Flynn aims to slide in and hook the ball away. But all he can do is hook it past the distinctly unimpressed Alhambra Shrike. CHT 0-2 BRI.
38 mins - This time, Lynwood makes good on her earlier chances. Sashaying through Elaine Blackstock as though she isn’t even there, this time she smashes the ball confidently past Gilchrist. Just fifteen more to go, lads. STR 1-3 GDF.
39 mins - 6-1 in Senway! The comeback is on!
40 mins - Felix Keller should’ve put Southfell back ahead, but his old fatal flaw of utterly terrible finishing comes back to haunt him. Beats Katskalidis, only a stranded Miller left, and he blazes it over. His old club, Ritter, almost equalise against the Heelers, but Ash Purrington’s placed shot is parried by Marciak, cleared by Nodtveit. It’ll take better than that.
41 mins - Beckcamp falls under Bolt’s challenge… but there’s daylight between him and the trailing boot of the Cranequin defender! A blatant dive! Disgraceful! Beckcamp’s rightfully booked, and Ebony Lane jeers the winger mercilessly. Beckcamp’s got plenty of talent… he just seems a bit of a prat. Almost like a nouveau Cheney Rosewood.
42 mins - Chatswood think they’ve pulled one back, the stocky Matheson powerfully heading a corner home, but not only is it disallowed, but as Gerry Malone collapses clutching his face, replays reveal Stubbs elbowed him full in the face… she’s sent off. Colbright on for the blood fountain that is Malone, and Ferreira’s taken off for Gillard as Chatswood transition to a 4-3-2, Venetianer stepping back into central midfield.
43 mins - Beckcamp falls over again after going shoulder-to-shoulder with Bolt. Or, more accurately, a man six inches taller and broader smashes Beckcamp out of the penalty area altogether The referee remains impassive, likely due to Beckcamp’s earlier antics.
44 mins - More trademark Vermillion flair! Bazinho’s hauled down five yards shy of the penalty area, but Gazzincha curls the ball masterfully over the wall and past Peterson, who sees it far too late. The Moths, as it stands, need Cranequin City to maintain their lead over the Spiders. VRR 2-0 SFM.
45 mins - If anyone’s still watching the Bishop-Maximum game (and if so, why are you still watching the Bishop-Maximum game?), they’d have seen Bishop almost equalise. Pity, then, that Ulrich Crane was about a foot offside when Curran centred it for him.
Injury Time - Something happened off the ball in the Scythes… and now there’s almost a brawl going on! It seems to be Morgan and Laxenburg at the centre of it, but just about everyone’s involved. Referee Kurtis Brady just about gets things under control, books Laxenburg and shunts them both into the tunnel, but things have gotten just a little bit spicy...

HALF-TIME!
Chatswood 0-2 Brinemouth
Ritter Town 0-1 Crisisbless
Iron City 0-0 Crisisbless United
Starling 1-3 Goodfeather FC
Bishop 0-1 Maximum City
South Laithland 0-1 Maximum Rovers
Cranequin City 1-0 North Laithland
Cranequin Wanderers 0-0 Parrhesia United
Vermillion Wanderers 1-2 Raven River
Violence Chariots 1-0 Sabrefell Athletic
Vermillion Rage 2-0 Sabrefell Moths
AFC Treason 1-1 Southfell United

46 mins - Alright, kick-off- oh, is that a penalty?! Yes it is! No sooner have Athletic and the Chariots returned to the field when Norgen’s played through on goal, rounds Seward… who grabs him by the ankle and drags him to the ground! Well, well! Both sets of players mob the referee, the notoriously fiery Seward’s sent off (though he’ll not miss the Globe Cup final), Breen picks up a yellow for dissent… so does Sarracena. Brady’s trigger-happiness manages to get the rest of the Reds into order. It looks like, after a lot of thought from Aragon, it’s Quillisi who makes way for young Lind Pressinger. He could probably use the rest, and Athletic transition to a 4-4-1.
47 mins - Oh God. Pressinger’s first league match, if the statisticians have it right… and the highly-rated 23-year old local leaps magnificently to push Norgen’s spot-kick beyond a post! The danger’s not quite over, but Hamilton dispossesses Leinster and thumps the ball as far forward as she can. Pressinger’s mobbed by his teammates! The Reds have their second wind! The Chariots are despondent!
48 mins - They should keep some perspective, though. They could be Vermillion Wanderers, who are reduced more or less to watching sullenly as Strauss beats three defenders before centring to Vaughan, who basically can’t miss. VRW 1-3 RVR.
49 mins - And it’s almost four! Karin Machan homes in on goal from rightback and shoots well, but Roosevelt tips it across the post.
50 mins - The comeback is… on? 35-year old Vance Thrace is brought on (for in all likelihood his final appearance in Starling colours) at rightback, and it evidently has immediate effect as the totally unaffected and unrelated left flank manages some neat interplay to foil Goodfeather’s defence and bring Kurtis Warner one-on-one with Gilchrist. He chips her, and while Finch scoops the ball back over the line after it crosses the line, this is the era of goalline technology, and it’s STR 2-3 GDF.
51 mins - Meanwhile, Jess Carragher’s late run into the box is found by substitute Stephen Mahoney’s pass, and she fires past a wrong-footed Shrike. The home crowd is unimpressed. CHT 0-3 BRI.
52 mins - North Laithland are fighting their way back into the game against Cranequin City after a poor first half. Covenant slips between Clare and Corter, but her touch is marginally too heavy and Cronin - barely - swoops onto it before she can finish what she started. Still, North Laithland’s pace is wreaking havoc against a team whose right side of defence is 34 and 33, matched against a 20-year old left winger in Chloe Rudden. Who is also better than them.
53 mins - The Moths have, too - they, however, finish their chances! Curio plays nicely with his back to goal, draws two centrebacks away, then turns and fires a shot off. Tachibana should leave it for Beresford, who has it covered, but she stabs at it with her boot… and the other Moths striker, Sheila Maddon, sidefoots it home gleefully unmarked. VRR 2-1 SFM.
54 mins - Violence have been pressing for the second goal they feel like they should already have, but Norgen looks bereft of confidence and Pressinger is having a blinder. The Polarian’s pulled for Daniel Freuen… but all the Ruentenbacher can do when put through on goal almost immediately after coming on is fire it straight at Pressinger. The young stopper fumbles it through the sheer force of it, but smothers it before anyone can take advantage.
55 mins - Rudden sashays past both Clare and then Rook Logan, who slide tackles thin air, and pulls the trigger. But Cronin’s more than ready to deal with it, pushing the ball onto a post and then flicking out a leg to get it out for a corner. North Laithland’s forwards are tiny, City’s defenders are gigantic and Cronin’s command of her box is superb, so it’s no surprise when Rafferty’s aimlessly drifting set piece is easily claimed by the former West Brinemouth and Moths goalkeeper.
56 mins - The comeback is off. Auburn Tarrant’s long shot is powerful, Middlesbrough does well to parry it into the ground, but Rettinger simply smashes the ball home. STR 2-4 GDF.
57 mins - South Laithland’s front six have all been abysmal this half, passes just aren’t connecting, no final ball and terrible finishing… but the defence looks reasonably solid. Until Mark Graves passes it more or less in the direction he feels like Lochhead might theoretically be, very slowly, and Chapin pounces on it. Graves tries to atone by flying at Chapin, but misses, and the gaps in the defence leave Chapin free to pick his options. Ultimately, he goes for a forward pass into the path of substitute Cassidy Moran and her fresh legs, and the former Brinemouth midfielder sweeps the ball home neatly. SLA 0-2 MXR.
58 mins - Oh, that news has been well-received in Swordgarden! The sudden cheers buoy on City’s Connor Church who takes an optimistic shot from range that Roy Hennessey misjudges and tips over the bar, but it remains goalless - and Iron need a win.
59 mins - Beckcamp turns from zero to hero at Ebony Lane, Damkjaer finding him with a speculative forward pass and he turns to shoot past a surprised Brennan. CRW 0-1 PAR.
60 mins - There’s the breakthrough! Crisisbless United are chasing a goal too (why not?) but it leaves them vulnerable on the counterattack. Klinsmann’s cross is too short and Sepp Vauxhall calmly heads it back to Dan Keel, who catches it and immediately hoofs it forward. Arragne wins the 50/50 with Curran, flicking it on towards goal, and 23-year old Pravenna international Kostas Postecoglou’s first to it, sweeping it under Hennessey as the United goalkeeper steps forward to try and do something. As it stands, the Reds will stay up! IRC 1-0 CRU!
61 mins - But it’s not over yet, as Iron are immediately reminded. Straight from kick-off, the Chessmen go for the throat, but after a neat 18-second passage of play, Klinsmann’s shot is right at Dan Keel. The right winger’s been poor today, fortunately for the hosts.
62 mins - North Laithland pay for their lack of finishing throughout the game despite having dominated the half. Shea’s shot is tipped over by Corren, but the corner comes in and who else meets it but captain fantastic Christian Clare? He rises handily over his marker (who isn’t doing a spectacular job of even remembering where he is) to head home. You can’t say they don’t deserv- well, actually, you can say that, and you’d probably be right. But it’s still CRC 2-0 NLA.
63 mins - There is a shot on target in Bishop vs. Maximum City! Shame Oleg Evseev is about thirty yards out when he takes it, and Jelic looks puzzled as to why the Mytenar even bothered. Still, big number 9 Kyle Lawrence is suited up and ready to come on for the hosts. He played for Treason’s academy and was the Nephara U-21’s fifth-choice striker at some point, and despite having left the northwest around ten years ago he still gets jeered by the away crowd. How sad is that?
64 mins - River are pounding on the Wanderers but just can’t get a fourth… until a frustrated Strauss passes it back to the central midfield, and Morgan Kendall just puts her foot through it. Amazingly, she scores - Roosevelt motionless - and the home crowd starts to trickle out of the stadium, not even willing to see out their own season. Understandable, too. VRW 1-4 RVR.
65 mins - The Moths are trying to fight back against the Rage, but just can’t quite get their finishing on target. Vermillion, it seems, can - against the run of play, substitute Manuel Reid’s first-time shot is well-taken to beat Peterson. The Moths are really happy for the Terracotta Army’s two-goal cushion now. VRR 3-1 SFM.
66 mins - The Stallions nearly equalise against Crisisbless. Marciak pulls off a remarkable double save to defy Purrington, through on goal and all he can do is fire powerfully straight at Marciak twice. Rachael Gallagher’s seen enough - big Patrick Harrington comes on, much more conducive to having long balls pumped at his head from the wings.
67 mins - Shock at the Scythes! 10-man Athletic, playing an unfamiliarly wide formation, use their newfound width to good effect. Oehman might prefer to be closer to goal under normal circumstances, but he can still hit raking low crosses - this one evades Bray, but Reiter, backing him up on the far post, slides in to drag the ball into the net! VIC 1-1 SFA!
68 mins - Oh dear. For all their endeavour up front, Ritter simply forget how to defend as Berenger’s cross goes straight to Keast, unmarked but at a very narrow angle. He heads it down and Portsgate gets her second of the match. It’s starting to look a little out of the Stallions’ reach… RTT 0-2 CRI.
69 mins - Something something this particular minute something Vermillion Wanderers something getting fucked.
70 mins - South Laithland are on track to be relegated, but they have a free kick in a dangerous area for Senturk to take, and... what are they doing?! The Rovers have Hildebrandt and Sweane, massive gigantic centrebacks, and Reinhard Drake, a massive gigantic striker, for good measure! Why hoof it into the mixer?! Either way, the Rovers deal with it with contemptuous ease.
71 mins - Treason and Southfell seems to be petering out, and Acosta comes off for highly-rated local Tanith Rainsford, applauded by the home crowd. If Acosta leaves after this season, it will go down as a moment signifying a changing of the guard… though if he stays, most people seem to be suggesting that while Rainsford has learned a lot from Acosta’s example, she needs first-team football, and without the heavy rotation a UICA season demands, she’s unlikely to find it at Treason if Acosta does stay...
72 mins - Rudden slips her markers again, but blazes over. The Spiders have simply lacked the finishing touch they’ve needed all afternoon… and City have taken their chances.
73 mins - Sabrefell Moths draw one back against Vermillion. Christener - who, like most rightbacks, more usually plays provider - spots an opening and simply cuts Vermillion’s defence apart herself before sidefooting past Russ Beresford. The Moths still need another two… but then, that’s assuming North Laithland can get three past Cranequin City. That isn’t looking likely. VRR 3-2 SFM.
74 mins - Beckcamp hits the bar with a seemingly speculative strike from close to halfway. Brennan didn’t even make the attempt to catch it - overconfidence, or a mistake that nearly cost them? Not like the match really matters, anyway - and Brennan’s saved them more than enough points over the season.
75 mins - Bishop vs. Maximum isn’t a great match, but goddamn if that isn’t a crushing late challenge from Markus Wiseman to properly annihilate Fitzpatrick as the Cosumarite comes bearing down on goal. That warms the heart.
76 mins - The equaliser in Cranequin! Dorcas Roebuck hits a fluky cross that gets caught in the wind. Instead of hitting the face of big Connor Scuffett, it manages to beat an unsuspecting Elaine Koeller - something of a rare howler by a good goalkeeper. CRW 1-1 PAR.
77 mins - Olgina Harrison gets the ball in the net, River have their fifth- nevermind, offside. Harrison evidently disagrees, cuts out the middleman and goes over to fight the linesman - and ultimately, has to be dragged away by Brind and Strauss. Nice work from the captain and vice-captain, there.
78 mins - The comeback remains steadfastly off. The fresh legs of Augustine Bardsley have been giving Starling’s defence trouble since he’s come on. Admittedly, he came on for hat-trick hero Rettinger, so maybe the Passerines should be relieved… but here and now he sprints past everyone else and fires low and hard. Middlesbrough gets down well to parry it, but only into the path of Wrexham, who bundles it home. STR 2-5 GDF.
79 mins - Harrison, who has been fuming since the call, is taken off for Theodora Kenway. River fans breathe a sigh of relief. That said, they’re 4-1 up against the worst team in the league, so they probably have some breathing room.
80 mins - Red card for the Stallions! Oh, dear - Rinehart is left helplessly sprawling by Keast, and in retaliation lashes out a boot to send the big Apoxian crashing to earth. A second yellow, even if it probably saved Ritter a goal in the short-term, does them no favours for the ten minutes left. Warwick off, veteran defender Thea Killen on.
81 mins - Fantastic goal! Patrick Ježek with a powerful drive from just outside the box as Bishop finally succumb to the pressure. Katsouranis might have done better, but the Smiths deserved their equaliser. BSH 1-1 MXC.
82 mins - Ahh, a consolation for Chatswood. Venetianer’s curling drive beats Malone from distance. CHT 1-3 BRI.
83 mins - 10-2 at Senway Town, by the way. Bellamy’s right winger is openly sobbing on the pitch as he trudges aimlessly around, but they’re out of substitutes, so his manager can only watch and shake his head.
84 mins - So close! So close! Iron bends but it doesn’t break. Fantastic reflex stop from Dan Keel stops Cawdor from equalising. Rourke is lurking but Garnet Langerak flies in from nowhere to smash the ball behind the goal, straight into the block of away fans. The corner comes to nothing, and the hosts breathe a sigh of relief.
85 mins - Ritter sure breaks easily enough, though. Keast’s header and that’s a done deal, Crisisbless are three up and Ritter are a man down. RTT 0-3 CRI.
86 mins - Drama in the First Division, too! Both Chenoworth sides are directly jostling for the final position - the Harriers, in 5th before this match, have overtaken the Rovers with a comfortable 2-0 win over already-relegated Locksley. The Rovers, who need a win, press high in search of one… but they’re hit on the break by Dross Rovers, a side with nothing to play for! They’re 1-0 down, and unless they can score twice in four minutes plus injury time, it’s the Harriers heading to the Premiership next season…
87 mins - South Laithland need goals and they need them now. Belatedly, some sense of urgency begins to seep through the squad - Markosian’s come close a couple times without actually testing Middleton, Kuepper’s gifted with a free header that goes straight at the Quebecois shot-stopper and it’s left to the unlikely source of Bryan Lochhead to actually test Middleton properly. It’s a decent shot, but it’s still bread-and-butter stuff for the ‘keeper. Time’s ticking.
88 mins - Ritter fans are reduced to tears - the miracle’s not happening tonight. Luxulya St. Cleer breaks through the midfield and clips a shot past Cunningham. The Stallions, surely, are going down. RTT 0-4 CRI.
89 mins - 38-year old centreback and club legend Didier Bernard, finally retiring at the end of the season, is brought on for the applause. It doesn’t quite work, given that Bishop are the slightly bemused hosts, but eventually the home crowd catches onto it and adds some half-hearted clapping to the mix.
90 mins - This is it! Surely Iron City are staying up now! Connor Church cuts inside onto Sable’s pass and thumps home a powerful drive off the underside of the bar and in! Hennessey had no chance! IRC 2-0 CRU.
Injury Time - Southrons nearly pull one back! They need to! But they don’t. Aziz Senturk hits the foot of the post and surely it’s all over, the final whistle blows in both games and there’s scenes of jubilation in Iron, desperation in the Laith, resignation in Ritter. Big Connor Scuffett, cheerfully aimless young Cranequin target man, scuffs home a low cross from Roebuck that nobody else can get to and the Wanderers lead - CRW 2-1 PAR. A late winner, and both sides congratulate one another regardless. Champion’s Cup football is back in Gargoyle’s Court despite the Moths’ defeat, Sabrefell Athletic are relying on a Globe Cup victory for Champions’ Cup football and in a roundabout way the Quakers are left to hope for Athletic to win, too. Serpentine, West Brinemouth, Coret Hawks and Chenoworth Harriers will join the top flight next term. And finally, the curtain is drawn on another exhilarating season in the Premiership…
… but the fun doesn’t end just yet.

PREMIERSHIP FINAL MATCHDAY RESULTS
Chatswood 1-3 Brinemouth
Ritter Town 0-4 Crisisbless
Iron City 2-0 Crisisbless United
Starling 2-5 Goodfeather FC
Bishop 1-1 Maximum City
South Laithland 0-2 Maximum Rovers
Cranequin City 2-0 North Laithland
Cranequin Wanderers 2-1 Parrhesia United
Vermillion Wanderers 1-4 Raven River
Violence Chariots 1-1 Sabrefell Athletic
Vermillion Rage 3-2 Sabrefell Moths
AFC Treason 1-1 Southfell United

FIRST DIVISION FINAL MATCHDAY RESULTS
Rochford 2-0 Sutcroft
Corby Hubris 0-2 AFC Shale
Franchise FC 1-1 Martella Jazz
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-2 AFC Serpentine
Brookford Otters 0-3 Creed United
Extreme Hills 1-0 Sheridan
Coret Hawks 0-1 West Brinemouth
Newrook City 0-2 Cypher Town
Chenoworth Rovers 0-1 Dross Rovers
Ox River United 1-1 Iron United
Locksley 0-2 Chenoworth Harriers
Leichhardt 0-0 Corvette Maulers

SECOND DIVISION FINAL MATCHDAY RESULTS
North Sabrefell 2-1 Gridlock Rovers
South Brill 4-2 Dubstep Rangers
Brookway Town 1-2 Project +90
Brindleton 0-1 Rushe United
Fenland Albion 1-4 Coret Rovers
East Laithland Harriers 0-2 Armstrong
Mainstream Fist 0-1 Iberia Chenoworth
West Hook 0-2 Belgrave
Boleyn Town 1-0 Crossroads Town
Masculine Town 0-1 Hackett
Crisisbless Athletic 2-1 Kensey Town
Strephonage 0-0 South Parrhesia

THIRD DIVISION FINAL MATCHDAY RESULTS
Gridlock 1-1 Chaker Town
Pillars of Southfell 1-1 Sutcroft Athletic
Mantlegrove 2-0 Blaze
Southriver 1-5 Vermillion Spite
Kommissar 0-3 FC United
Gridlock East 1-1 Forge Carpenters
North Dubstep 1-0 Diamondqueen
Long Lake 2-0 Stonegrave
Senway Town 10-2 Bellamy
Dartmouth Terriers 1-3 Downsparrow
Greygate 0-0 Bodkin Road
Morningstar 1-1 Falston Town

NFA CUP FINAL
South Laithland (4-4-2): 1 - Benedict (c); 21 - Amber, 18 - Graves, 5 - Glaive, 2 - Cheney; 7 - Schwarzer, 16 - Lochhead, 8 - Senturk, 11 - Matthews; 10 - Markosian, 15 - Oliver
Bench: 13 - Cole; 3 - Brace, 9 - Kuepper, 12 - Miller, 19 - Sturrock, 20 - Behan, 33 - Seip

Parrhesia United (4-3-3): 13 - Cyprus; 2 - Arrowsmith, 12 - Brun, 6 - Valiant, 22 - Ryalusci; 23 - Damkjaer, 4 - Banks, 8 - Sebastian (c); 21 - Driscoll, 10 - Monti, 16 - Beckcamp
Bench: 1 - Koeller; 5 - Alabaster, 9 - Kightley, 11 - Mullery, 15 - Conagher, 17 - Karmichael, 31 - Boyden

South Laithland, relegated on the last day of the season but not broken, determined to claw something from this season. But they’ll have a fight on their hands to beat the Saints, who might well have had a spectacular collapse in the second half of the season but, well, they’re Cup specialists. Natalia Cyprus is in goal for the Saints - Cup goalkeeper to this point, and perhaps the fact that she wasn’t beaten by an overhit cross on the final day of the season is in her favour, too. Injuries haven’t helped the Saints in the second half of the season, either. 33-year old veteran Gerhard Driscoll isn’t exactly going to light up the field with pace, but there’s a crisis in defence where centreback Ryalusci is pushed out to the left and academy graduate rightback Priscilla Boyden sits on the bench (as, to be fair, does Seip for the Southrons). A rare start for Peter Oliver up front for South Laithland, too - the 36-year old is a powerful charging bull of a striker, but he’s, well, 36 years old. Should be interesting.

The injuries lend a different feel to Parrhesia. Driscoll isn’t nearly as quick as Cath Rivers on the right but his final ball is far superior, not to mention the physical threat - meanwhile, Beckcamp remains a spectacular winger on the left but Ryalusci isn’t exactly going to pelt upfield in support. The slightly disjointed, tentative attack gives the Southrons confidence as they weather the initial storm, and it’s not long until Cyprus is called into action. One good save from Schwarzer (tipped for a transfer to remain in the top flight), another from the ravening Markosian. But the first goal was always likely to be the Saints’, and just as the Southrons seem confident to attack, Valiant hoofs a clearance out to midfield. Monti races out to snatch it from Lochhead’s feet and, with a perfect pass to the wing, releases Beckcamp on goal. The flamboyant winger throws himself forward, threads the needle between Amber and Graves and slides the ball past Benedict.

The Saints dominate the first half from there, and finally put down a stranglehold of the midfield. Senturk (another decent player) manages to break free a couple of times, but can’t quite put his passes on target. But just as the Southrons think they’ve weathered the storm, it’s Damkjaer who breaks through the middle. The physicality of Driscoll gives Parrhesia an extra dimension going forward, as Beckcamp’s cross to him is headed across to find Damkjaer’s run, and the burly Fallenmarker - who had scored in both of the past two rounds - buries the half-volley past Benedict.

The Saints are all too aware of their glass jaw, and defend staunchly when the Southrons come out swinging in the second half (leaving plenty of holes in the process). As a result, it’s an evenly-poised second half, but no matter what the Southrons simply cannot get ahold of the midfield, and Milner refuses to make the obvious substitution - the talented but unreliable Senturk out, the more industrious Sturrock in. Instead, Matthews - who has lit up the game from the left - is pulled out for Miller, an unremarkable 33-year old. Miller might have provided the assist for the only goal the last time South Laithland won the Cup, but it takes two to tango, and the Southrons don’t have any towering former Polar Islandstates internationals up front these days. They do pull a goal back in the 57th minute, but it’s not through the left wing - instead, it’s Schwarzer who gives up on simple crosses but cuts inside to leave Ryalusci stranded before firing high over Cyprus. But they can’t break through again, something missing in the final ball, and as Schwarzer knocks the ball desperately past an exhausted Ryalusci again the ball simply rolls out of play as she chases after it in vain… and the final whistle blows.

Both sides came into the tournament as past winners - and no matter what, someone was always going to come away as the first side to win the trophy twice. Reece Benedict and company might have at least had some consolation after a dire season, and trophies are remembered far longer than league finishes. But all they can do is watch as Matt Sebastian and his green-clad colleagues lift the trophy after a well-deserved, though not comfortable, victory.

South Laithland 1- 2 Parrhesia United
Beckcamp 19’
Damkjaer 43’
Schwarzer 57’

CEDC FINAL
Sabrefell Athletic (4-2-3-1): 1 - Seward; 2 - Bergman (c), 13 - Hamilton, 5 - Breen, 3 - Laxenburg; 14 - Quillisi, 4 - Sarracena; 15 - Reiter, 17 - Gawain, 11 - Oehman; 9 - Bray
Bench: 16 - Pressinger; 6 - Reagan, 7 - Montreal, 8 - Cilic, 10 - Dorne, 12 - Eastway, 21 - Hargreave

Northern Union (4-3-3): 1 - Shazib; 2 - Fastolf, 23 - Monroe, 5 - Greig, 3 - Branagh; 13 - Rivers (c), 4 - Rourke, 7 - Camden; 21 - Hadley, 10 - Bellerose, 11 - Pendragon
Bench: 20 - Merochite; 6 - Oakley, 8 - Kilroy, 9 - Lund, 12 - Searle, 14 - Barragan, 18 - Halloran

Athletic are favourites, and they know it. The pressure is on to beat a very strong Northern Union side for the third time in two months. Not to take Union lightly, as they remain a powerful side in their own right. Athletic have seven internationals in their squad - Union have eight, including a powerful Brenecian core. Shazib is an acrobatic presence in goal, but their strong suit is the engine room of a midfield, Camden and Rivers with the quietly workmanlike Rourke behind them.

Also, well, it’s a clash between Nepharim and Brenecians. That’s always going to end interestingly.

It’s a good match early on. Both sides play their games, both sides look assured in defence. Union might fancy themselves as the big-spenders of the A-League but Brix Hamilton in the Reds’ defence is the most expensive signing in Premiership history, and plays well enough to live up to the label. She looks assured and prepared along with the entirety of the Athletic back four.

Until, very suddenly, they aren’t.

Camden’s pass is scuffed away by Breen, but only gets as far as Rivers. It’s the Equestrian who threads the pass to the incisive Pendragon, who cuts inside and shoots low past Seward. Disaster, and the fans aren’t happy about it - there’s calls for offside despite an immediate replay that proves the goal was perfectly valid. Seward looked furious at himself for letting in the shot, probably justifiably, but he’d been a rock up until then.

Athletic fought back valiantly, taking the front foot in proceedings, but Union looked dangerous on the break - only a last-ditch tackle from Breen saved an almost certain goal from Bellerose, and Seward had to keep alert, too. Ultimately, the equaliser was coming, and it was more than warranted - Gawain passed straight to Bray who fought his way past the two centrebacks to slip it across to Oehman, who smashed the ball low and hard. Shazib got down well to save it, but Bray once again fought his way to the fray, stuck out a boot and flicked the ball into the net. 1-1 after ninety minutes.

Extra time was frantic, but both sides were tiring and had cleared out their benches - and the Reds’ momentum was firmly checked in the 98th minute as a weary late challenge by Rourke sent Sarracena to the ground, clutching his hamstring. Second yellow for the Union midfielder, but nobody left to replace Sarracena, leaving the match finely poised at 10 vs. 10. Both sides, now down a defensive midfielder, transitioned into 4-4-1 formations and the game bogged down. A late last strike from Bergman nearly snatched it, but the rightback’s shot after a long run went high and wide. By inches. Score that, and he would’ve assured his enduring place in Athletic folklore.

And so to penalties.

Armando Quillisi - of course - is first to step up, and fires clinically past Shazib. Seward goes out to intimidate Erin Camden, but the Brenecian captain isn’t fazed, and smashes it high and to the left. Rowan Gawain goes for power over placement, and although Shazib goes the wrong way, it hits a post. Once again, Seward attempts psychological warfare, but Greig also places it perfectly. Both Brenecians are penalty specialists (who have played the bulk of their career in Nephara, for that matter), so perhaps it’s no surprise. The Reds’ hopes teeter as Bray scuffs a shot that Shazib easily palms away...

… but hope is restored as Bellerose, who doesn’t look intimidated at all, fires basically at the centre and Seward’s trailing legs to enough to block it. Game on. Rhys Bergman steps up, the captain who has already decided to move abroad at the end of the season (stating that while his side has outgrown his abilities, he couldn’t think of being at any other Nepharim side) and smashes it confidently past Shazib. Seward gets right up in Hadley’s face, and the visibly-affected Calanian blazes over. Step forward, Ole Oehman… and the Cosumar international dispatches it calmly. Only Candace Rivers left. A standout in the match to that point… she goes right.

So does Seward, denying her with a fingertip save. Jubilation amongst the red shirts in the crowd as this totally redeems a dismal domestic season, and yet the fun’s not over yet...

Sabrefell Athletic 1 - 1 Northern Union (1-1 aet, 3-2 pens)
Pendragon 33’
Oehman 68’
Penalties
1-1: Quillisi scores, Camden scores
1-2: Gawain misses, Greig scores
1-2: Bray saved, Bellerose saved
2-2: Bergman scores, Hadley misses
3-2: Oehman scores, Rivers saved

GLOBE CUP FINAL
Raynor City United (4-3-1-2): Celelothina; Corbijn, Tinueme, Haelinde, McKray; Durosa, Soldarian, Lithvathar; Runlithdren; Boule, Saez

Sabrefell Athletic (4-2-3-1): 1 - Seward; 2 - Bergman (c), 13 - Hamilton, 5 - Breen, 3 - Laxenburg; 14 - Quillisi, 8 - Cilic; 15 - Reiter, 17 - Gawain, 11 - Oehman; 9 - Bray
Bench: 16 - Pressinger; 6 - Reagan, 7 - Montreal, 10 - Dorne, 12 - Eastway, 19 - Darke, 21 - Hargreave

Athletic take on the Vanorian champions in the Globe Cup final, managed ably by Talglinaenan. It’s not just the trophy at stake, but a Champions’ Cup place for Athletic. Well… okay, mostly it’s the glory of the trophy. Nephara is yet to win a UICA trophy, and victory here would go so far to announce the relevance of the Premiership on the international scene. Even Moths fans are praying for the Reds to win. Maybe.

It’s an uncharacteristically cagey affair, and nobody can quite get their efforts on target. It’s not the best of finals in general, a tense affair where the first half in particular seems to be too much pressure for both teams. Not too much for either goalkeeper to worry about. The absence of Yupanqui Sarracena isn’t helping Athletic’s fluency, either, and the replacement of club stalwart Martin Cilic puts the age of the holding midfielders at 34 and 35. Doesn’t do wonders for the pace of the side.

The second half sees both sides somewhat more fluent, but the final ball isn’t there. Saez hits a post from fifteen yards while Bray puts the ball in the net from an offside position and goes ballistic at the referee when called out on it - earning a yellow card. The game starts to get needly as Breen in particular starts kicking lumps in the Raynor City forwards. As Quillisi comes agonisingly close with a direct free kick that skims the top of the crossbar, it signals full-time. Still scoreless.

Aragon uses her two remaining changes immediately. Oehman was heroic against Union but stilted and playing within himself tonight, and Montreal is thrown onto the left wing - Cilic, meanwhile, has been rock-solid defensively but the playmaking of young Olenna Darke is hoped to make the difference. But Raynor are determined to get the win, too, and practically knock Athletic’s feet from under them early on as Runlithdren skins Darke and smashes a shot against a post. Breen scuffs a clearance away poorly and Saez rushes onto the end of it, but fortunately blazes over. Seward was lying prone, and wouldn’t’ve stood a chance.

Athletic took that warning to heart, and charged forward to take the game by the horns. Suddenly, the match turned from a low simmer to a full boil, and tempers were flaring as well. Celelothina did well to tip Reiter’s shot over the bar, and a dangerous corner from Quillisi was whipped in over the top with three Athletic players inches from tipping the ball in but nobody actually managing to make contact. And yet, it would be the less heralded players who would build up a quick assault with four rapid forward passes. Darke to Montreal, who drew Corbijn away before a clever pass found the overlapping run of Laxenburg. Presented with a clear forward line to aim at, the former Maximum City (and Corvette Maulers, for what it’s worth) clipped a low cross across the face of goal. Bray stretched, but couldn’t quite get to the end of it, but there was the smallest curve on it that managed just barely to get the ball to Reiter on the opposite flank. With her first touch, she took the ball on and smashed the ball home with her second.

Raynor City go all out, not much time to maneuvre, but Athletic park the bus and focus on keeping it tight at the back. Even then, Seward is required to be at his best to tip Lithvathar’s strike past the post, but as Matt Breen heads out the corner and Coalan Bray desperately hoofs the ball upfield before collapsing in exhaustion, the final whistle blows and the Reds have secured the Globe Cup, the first ever Nepharim side to do so. Bergman and Cilic lift the trophy together, captain and vice-captain, both excellent in the match and both likely playing their last match for the club, and there’s a distinct sense around the ground that, yes, this is only the start of a golden age.

Mark the date; it all started here, in Brigham, with Merry Reiter’s last-ditch goal.

Raynor City United 0 - 0 Sabrefell Athletic (0-1 aet)
Reiter 117’

by **Nephara** » Thu Jul 30, 2015 11:39 pm

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                       P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/-  Pts
  1 Crisisbless               46  31  10   5  81  29  +52  103  Champions
  2 Brinemouth                46  30   9   7  92  37  +55   99  CC
  3 Sabrefell Moths           46  26   7  13  90  54  +36   85  CC
  4 North Laithland           46  25   9  12  73  49  +24   84  GC
  5 Violence Chariots         46  22  16   8  80  44  +36   82  GC
  6 Sabrefell Athletic        46  20  15  11  78  56  +22   75  CC
  7 Goodfeather FC            46  20  15  11  68  48  +20   75  GC
  8 Vermillion Rage           46  22   7  17  76  70   +6   73
  9 AFC Treason               46  18  17  11  61  49  +12   71
 10 Chatswood                 46  17  14  15  53  54   -1   65
 11 Southfell United          46  17  13  16  71  71   +0   64
 12 Maximum City              46  16  15  15  53  45   +8   63
 13 Parrhesia United          46  16  13  17  46  56  -10   61  CWC
 14 Raven River               46  16  11  19  65  72   -7   59
 15 Cranequin Wanderers       46  15  14  17  50  66  -16   59
 16 Maximum Rovers            46  13  12  21  40  48   -8   51
 17 Crisisbless United        46  12  15  19  65  85  -20   51
 18 Bishop                    46  12  13  21  39  60  -21   49
 19 Cranequin City            46  13   9  24  36  57  -21   48
 20 Iron City                 46  12   7  27  28  61  -33   43
 21 South Laithland           46  10  11  25  48  69  -21   41  R
 22 Ritter Town               46   9  12  25  46  84  -38   39  R
 23 Starling                  46   7  17  22  35  71  -36   38  R
 24 Vermillion Wanderers      46   7  11  28  45  84  -39   32  R

TOP SCORERS
24 - Curio (SFM)
23 - N. Walker (VIC)
22 - Juquinho (BRI)
21 - T. Covenant (NLA), S. Maddon (SFM)
20 - O. Keast (CRI)
19 - C. Bray (SFA), F. Keller (SFU), D. Norgen (VIC)
18 - S. Levy (VRR)
17 - A. Cawdor (CRU), A. Rettinger (GDF)
16 - L. Connolly (BRI), S. Arora (CRI), D. Strauss (RVR), L. Schindler (SFU), K. Quinn (TRE)
15 - A. Rourke (CRU), M. Puntoriero (TRE), S. Woodlark (VRR)

AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Curio (SFM)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Espen Knutsen (CRI)
Iron Heart (U-21 Player of the Year): Chloe Rudden (NLA)
Iron Fist (Debutant of the Year): Diandra Kilbane (CRI)
Team of the Year: Malone (BRI); Christener (SFM), Gallardo (CRI), Riviello (VIC), Hasselbaink (BRI); Knutsen (CRI), Carragher (BRI), St. Cleer (CRI), Oehman (SFA); Curio (SFM), Juquinho (BRI) - Bench: Marciak (CRI); Rosewood (NLA), Nodtveit (CRI), Kilbane (CRI), Gawain (SFA), Cawdor (CRU), Walker (VIC)
Manager of the Year: Escher Speare (NLA)

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 AFC Serpentine             46  28   9   9  76  34  +42  93  P
  2 West Brinemouth            46  24  13   9  58  30  +28  85  P
  3 Coret Hawks                46  25   9  12  61  33  +28  84  P
  4 Chenoworth Harriers        46  24  10  12  52  31  +21  82  P
  5 Chenoworth Rovers          46  24   8  14  47  28  +19  80
  6 Cypher Town                46  23  10  13  68  36  +32  79
  7 Extreme Hills              46  22  13  11  62  41  +21  79
  8 Leichhardt                 46  21  14  11  40  25  +15  77
  9 Corvette Maulers           46  20  12  14  54  48   +6  72
 10 Newrook City               46  17  16  13  58  42  +16  67
 11 Brookford Otters           46  17  15  14  48  40   +8  66
 12 AFC Shale                  46  18  12  16  38  38   +0  66
 13 Sheridan                   46  14  20  12  40  34   +6  62
 14 Creed United               46  16  14  16  56  56   +0  62
 15 Sutcroft                   46  17  11  18  42  52  -10  62
 16 Martella Jazz              46  17   7  22  60  66   -6  58
 17 Dross Rovers               46  14  11  21  41  50   -9  53
 18 Rhagant Schadenfreude      46  14   6  26  33  56  -23  48
 19 Rochford                   46  11  14  21  41  56  -15  47
 20 Ox River United            46  11  13  22  36  55  -19  46
 21 Iron United                46  12  10  24  37  67  -30  46  R
 22 Franchise FC               46   9  14  23  35  62  -27  41  R
 23 Locksley                   46  11   7  28  48  88  -40  40  R
 24 Corby Hubris               46   4  10  32  27  90  -63  22  R

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 North Sabrefell              46  30   7   9  73  36  +37  97  P
  2 South Parrhesia              46  29   9   8  81  42  +39  96  P
  3 Armstrong                    46  26  13   7  62  24  +38  91  P
  4 Mainstream Fist              46  26  11   9  84  48  +36  89  P
  5 West Hook                    46  24  12  10  65  29  +36  84
  6 Hackett                      46  24  10  12  76  45  +31  82
  7 Crossroads Town              46  23  13  10  70  46  +24  82
  8 Strephonage                  46  20  12  14  66  49  +17  72
  9 Crisisbless Athletic         46  17  14  15  45  46   -1  65
 10 Belgrave                     46  16  16  14  60  62   -2  64
 11 Coret Rovers                 46  15  17  14  74  58  +16  62
 12 Boleyn Town                  46  19   4  23  35  48  -13  61
 13 East Laithland Harriers      46  14  16  16  76  64  +12  58
 14 Brookway Town                46  17   7  22  58  77  -19  58
 15 Masculine Town               46  15  12  19  44  54  -10  57
 16 Project +90                  46  16   7  23  59  70  -11  55
 17 Iberia Chenoworth            46  16   7  23  55  79  -24  55
 18 Kensey Town                  46  14  12  20  54  62   -8  54
 19 Gridlock Rovers              46  13  13  20  48  60  -12  52
 20 Fenland Albion               46  11  11  24  44  70  -26  44
 21 Dubstep Rangers              46  10  10  26  38  72  -34  40  R
 22 Brindleton                   46   9  12  25  33  70  -37  39  R
 23 Rushe United                 46   8  14  24  57  85  -28  38  R
 24 South Brill                  46   5  11  30  34  95  -61  26  R

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                       P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Senway Town               46  29   9   8  83  43  +40  96  P
  2 Diamondqueen              46  22  14  10  72  38  +34  80  P
  3 Morningstar               46  23  11  12  83  52  +31  80  P
  4 Gridlock East             46  22  12  12  66  42  +24  78  P
  5 Dartmouth Terriers        46  21  14  11  62  44  +18  77
  6 Chaker Town               46  20  17   9  60  44  +16  77
  7 Long Lake                 46  21  14  11  52  41  +11  77
  8 North Dubstep             46  18  17  11  66  50  +16  71
  9 Falston Town              46  18  16  12  69  44  +25  70
 10 Mantlegrove               46  19  13  14  53  43  +10  70
 11 Forge Carpenters          46  19  13  14  57  51   +6  70
 12 Stonegrave                46  18  15  13  44  42   +2  69
 13 Kommissar                 46  17  15  14  64  61   +3  66
 14 Greygate                  46  17  13  16  58  53   +5  64
 15 Sutcroft Athletic         46  17  13  16  63  63   +0  64
 16 Downsparrow               46  17   8  21  46  58  -12  59
 17 Blaze                     46  13  14  19  44  57  -13  53
 18 FC United                 46  12  10  24  49  70  -21  46
 19 Southriver                46  10  14  22  54  77  -23  44
 20 Vermillion Spite          46  12   5  29  55  97  -42  41
 21 Gridlock                  46   8  14  24  26  56  -30  38  R
 22 Bellamy                   46   6  19  21  34  71  -37  37  R
 23 Bodkin Road               46   7  14  25  35  59  -24  35  R
 24 Pillars of Southfell      46   7  14  25  29  68  -39  35  R

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Reckdale Town          38  22   8   8  83  54  +29  74  P
  2 Camwell Road           38  20  12   6  54  29  +25  72  P
  3 Courser                38  21   9   8  50  34  +16  72
  4 The Strongest          38  17  11  10  76  50  +26  62
  5 Harrington             38  17  10  11  57  33  +24  61
  6 Geoff United           38  16  10  12  50  53   -3  58
  7 Grovebank              38  14  14  10  51  44   +7  56
  8 Tryst Athletic         38  13  12  13  47  59  -12  51
  9 The Hanged Man         38  14   8  16  36  35   +1  50
 10 Barcastle Rovers       38  13  11  14  43  48   -5  50
 11 Thratewood             38  11  13  14  39  51  -12  46
 12 Haymaker Town          38  10  14  14  40  41   -1  44
 13 Stekelenbright         38  12   8  18  41  45   -4  44
 14 Norton Road            38   9  16  13  36  41   -5  43
 15 Ramsay                 38  11  10  17  47  54   -7  43
 16 Perrett                38  11  10  17  40  47   -7  43
 17 Huysegem               38   9  16  13  32  49  -17  43
 18 Worthall               38  11   7  20  31  46  -15  40
 19 Fully Sick XI          38   9  13  16  42  61  -19  40
 20 Crisisbless Ermac      38  10   8  20  48  69  -21  38  R

Promoted: Swag Hill Rovers

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Riverkey                   38  24   7   7  72  28  +44  79  P
  2 Ringway                    38  24   6   8  70  36  +34  78  P
  3 Lackerrun                  38  24   6   8  77  44  +33  78
  4 Violence Tigers            38  19  12   7  47  28  +19  69
  5 Fischer                    38  19   9  10  54  33  +21  66
  6 Stamper Road               38  14  13  11  57  46  +11  55
  7 Sandrock                   38  14  12  12  35  34   +1  54
  8 Nay Town                   38  12  15  11  41  45   -4  51
  9 Rookwall                   38  14   9  15  39  48   -9  51
 10 De La Patria               38  13  11  14  50  44   +6  50
 11 Norpike                    38  12  13  13  44  48   -4  49
 12 Inner-East Fairywrens      38  11  16  11  35  41   -6  49
 13 Twelvetrees                38  13   9  16  27  28   -1  48
 14 East Slake                 38  12  10  16  39  51  -12  46
 15 Getton Town                38  12   8  18  52  63  -11  44
 16 Pridehome                  38  10  10  18  36  57  -21  40
 17 Peregrine                  38   9  12  17  31  43  -12  39
 18 Leo                        38   8  11  19  26  39  -13  35
 19 Markoni                    38   4  15  19  30  72  -42  27
 20 Harbrook United            38   4  12  22  38  72  -34  24  R

Promoted: Rochford Pilgrims

RESERVES LEAGUE - FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Sabrefell Moths          38  23   9   6  87  45  +42  78  YC
  2 AFC Treason              38  20  16   2  70  36  +34  76
  3 Crisisbless              38  22   7   9  63  32  +31  73
  4 Maximum City             38  21  10   7  46  24  +22  73
  5 Sabrefell Athletic       38  22   7   9  53  36  +17  73
  6 Brinemouth               38  15  13  10  51  42   +9  58
  7 North Laithland          38  15  12  11  59  51   +8  57
  8 Vermillion Rage          38  15  10  13  59  46  +13  55
  9 Maximum Rovers           38  13  13  12  47  47   +0  52
 10 Goodfeather FC           38  14   9  15  54  46   +8  51
 11 Extreme Hills            38  15   6  17  59  66   -7  51
 12 Parrhesia United         38  12  12  14  42  47   -5  48
 13 Chenoworth Harriers      38  12   9  17  31  45  -14  45
 14 Chatswood                38  10  11  17  37  48  -11  41
 15 Chenoworth Rovers        38  11   8  19  35  47  -12  41
 16 Corvette Maulers         38  11   8  19  51  68  -17  41
 17 South Laithland          38  11   8  19  37  59  -22  41
 18 Leichhardt               38   6  11  21  23  50  -27  29  R
 19 Southfell United         38   6  11  21  35  77  -42  29  R
 20 Crisisbless United       38   5  12  21  46  73  -27  27  R

Promoted: Iron City, Newrook City, Rochford

Nephara (NPH) Qualifiers
Champions Cup: Crisisbless, Brinemouth, Sabrefell Moths, Sabrefell Athletic
Globe Cup: North Laithland, Violence Chariots, Goodfeather FC
Youth Cup: Sabrefell Moths

CEdC: Crisisbless, Brinemouth
Cup Winners' Cup: Parrhesia United

by **Nephara** » Wed Sep 02, 2015 12:01 am

IT'S TIME TO DO SOME HOCKEY

Attendances may be falling and the national team may be failing, but hockey remains the credible #2 sport of Nephara in its fourth season. Unafraid of the low standard of play and drawn into the violence and atmosphere, enough diehards still turn out to partially cancel out the sophomore slump, and as bigger sides come up from the Second Division, attendances will hopefully level and begin to rise. The prospect of the old dog Riverside finally having a derby against the new boys and champions Sabrefell United is expected to end in blood, sweat, tears and hooliganism next season, but the police will deal with that when it comes. Recruiting more Rioux-like old boys in search of their last paycheck (the fantastically-named Ontorisan Aji-ma-Zakri the latest) can only help publicity, as long as they pull their weight - and to the credit of the locals, none of whom have spent their entire careers as professionals, they've kept the foreign recruits honest.

FIRST DIVISION

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Sabrefell United       76   49   8  19   237  142  +95   155  Champions
 2 HC Maximum             76   44  14  18   161  118  +43   146  HCL
 3 Cranequin Rovers       76   39  16  21   231  194  +37   133  HCL
 4 HC Treason             76   38  18  20   225  176  +49   132  HCL
 5 Laith United           76   38  11  27   227  183  +44   125
 6 Chenoworth             76   35  19  22   173  137  +36   124
 7 Vermillion Glory       76   38   8  30   251  205  +46   122
 8 Chatswood              76   36  14  26   223  184  +39   122
 9 Northern Vale          76   36  11  29   248  235  +13   119
10 Coret                  76   35   9  32   184  182   +2   114
11 Brinemouth City        76   30  16  30   208  210   −2   106
12 Leichhardt City        76   33   7  36   143  146   −3   106
13 Macambre River         76   31  12  33   177  202  −25   105
14 Maximum Warriors       76   27  12  37   137  163  −26    93
15 HC Creed               76   24  16  36   156  192  −36    88
16 Iron Athletic          76   25  11  40   115  163  −48    86
17 The Hanged Man         76   20  19  37   139  179  −40    79
18 Crisisbless            76   21  13  42   141  183  −42    76  R
19 Scaleplain Rovers      76   20  10  46   150  226  −76    70  R
20 HC Sheridan            76   11  16  49   130  236 −106    49  R

Sabrefell United are the runaway winners of the league, obliterating everyone en route to the title. Beating opponents into a pulp was also on the remit of HC Maximum despite their inability to score goals, Cranequin Rovers despite not actually being very good on paper, and HC Treason, who had expected (as usual) to win the title breezily. Maximum Warriors will feel happy to have attained midtable mediocrity with a fairly boring side, and The Hanged Man also managed to attain safety. Crisisbless inexplicably shat the bed to go down with newly-promoted but rubbish Scaleplain Rovers and, after miraculously staying up last season, the catastrophically inept HC Sheridan.

SECOND DIVISION

Pld    W   D   L    GF   GA   GD   Pts 
 1 Riverside              76   44  15  17   229  145  +84   147  P
 2 Southfell              76   45  10  21   274  178  +96   145  P
 3 Brinemouth Saracens    76   44   9  23   216  158  +58   141  P
 4 Raeburn Wanderers      76   44   8  24   264  198  +66   140
 5 Southern Hellions      76   40  12  24   285  214  +71   132
 6 Serif                  76   39  10  27   221  182  +39   127
 7 Cypher                 76   33  18  25   170  158  +12   117
 8 Escutcheon             76   34  11  31   192  185   +7   113
 9 Iskander Ridge         76   35   7  34   183  189   −6   112
10 Falconhead             76   30  17  29   169  159  +10   107
11 Eastbank               76   28  20  28   230  235   −5   104
12 Locksley               76   25  18  33   186  240  −54    93
13 Violence               76   28   8  40   137  178  −41    92
14 HC Schadenfreude       76   24  18  34   166  195  −29    90
15 Treason Phalanx        76   26  12  38   115  144  −29    90
16 Shale                  76   26  12  38   135  165  −30    90
17 Alpha Chenoworth       76   22  21  33   146  170  −24    87
18 Cullen Avenue          76   22  14  40   173  234  −61    80
19 East Coast Rovers      76   23   9  44   204  280  −76    78
20 Harriers HC            76   19   9  48   154  242  −88    66

Riverside finally lived up to their claims of being the biggest hockey side in Nephara by managing promotion, and should do a job in the top flight. Southfell go straight up alongside them, recovering well from relegation and probably improving on paper, while Brinemouth Saracens ensure that this time there will be no terrible Scaleplainesque side in the top flight next term. Harriers HC are left to be thankful that no way has yet been determined to figure out how to promote sides from the state leagues in a fair and balanced manner, but maybe the Chenoworth side could take some lessons from their notoriously hard-to-squash football parent club.

Nephara (NPH) HCL Entrants:
Sabrefell United
HC Maximum
Cranequin Rovers
HC Treason

by **Nephara** » Thu Sep 17, 2015 3:20 am

342 Season Preview

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                       P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/-  Pts
  1 Crisisbless               46  31  10   5  81  29  +52  103  Champions
  2 Brinemouth                46  30   9   7  92  37  +55   99  CC
  3 Sabrefell Moths           46  26   7  13  90  54  +36   85  CC
  4 North Laithland           46  25   9  12  73  49  +24   84  GC
  5 Violence Chariots         46  22  16   8  80  44  +36   82  GC
  6 Sabrefell Athletic        46  20  15  11  78  56  +22   75  CC
  7 Goodfeather FC            46  20  15  11  68  48  +20   75  GC
  8 Vermillion Rage           46  22   7  17  76  70   +6   73
  9 AFC Treason               46  18  17  11  61  49  +12   71
 10 Chatswood                 46  17  14  15  53  54   -1   65
 11 Southfell United          46  17  13  16  71  71   +0   64
 12 Maximum City              46  16  15  15  53  45   +8   63
 13 Parrhesia United          46  16  13  17  46  56  -10   61  CWC
 14 Raven River               46  16  11  19  65  72   -7   59
 15 Cranequin Wanderers       46  15  14  17  50  66  -16   59
 16 Maximum Rovers            46  13  12  21  40  48   -8   51
 17 Crisisbless United        46  12  15  19  65  85  -20   51
 18 Bishop                    46  12  13  21  39  60  -21   49
 19 Cranequin City            46  13   9  24  36  57  -21   48
 20 Iron City                 46  12   7  27  28  61  -33   43
 21 South Laithland           46  10  11  25  48  69  -21   41  R
 22 Ritter Town               46   9  12  25  46  84  -38   39  R
 23 Starling                  46   7  17  22  35  71  -36   38  R
 24 Vermillion Wanderers      46   7  11  28  45  84  -39   32  R

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 AFC Serpentine             46  28   9   9  76  34  +42  93  P
  2 West Brinemouth            46  24  13   9  58  30  +28  85  P
  3 Coret Hawks                46  25   9  12  61  33  +28  84  P
  4 Chenoworth Harriers        46  24  10  12  52  31  +21  82  P
  5 Chenoworth Rovers          46  24   8  14  47  28  +19  80
  6 Cypher Town                46  23  10  13  68  36  +32  79

TOP SCORERS
24 - Curio (SFM)
23 - N. Walker (VIC)
22 - Juquinho (BRI)
21 - T. Covenant (NLA), S. Maddon (SFM)
20 - O. Keast (CRI)
19 - C. Bray (SFA), F. Keller (SFU), D. Norgen (VIC)
18 - S. Levy (VRR)
17 - A. Cawdor (CRU), A. Rettinger (GDF)
16 - L. Connolly (BRI), S. Arora (CRI), D. Strauss (RVR), L. Schindler (SFU), K. Quinn (TRE)
15 - A. Rourke (CRU), M. Puntoriero (TRE), S. Woodlark (VRR)

AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Curio (SFM)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Espen Knutsen (CRI)
Iron Heart (U-21 Player of the Year): Chloe Rudden (NLA)
Iron Fist (Debutant of the Year): Diandra Kilbane (CRI)
Team of the Year: Malone (BRI); Christener (SFM), Gallardo (CRI), Riviello (VIC), Hasselbaink (BRI); Knutsen (CRI), Carragher (BRI), St. Cleer (CRI), Oehman (SFA); Curio (SFM), Juquinho (BRI) - Bench: Marciak (CRI); Rosewood (NLA), Nodtveit (CRI), Kilbane (CRI), Gawain (SFA), Cawdor (CRU), Walker (VIC)
Manager of the Year: Escher Speare (NLA)

by **Nephara** » Thu Sep 17, 2015 3:24 am

by **Nephara** » Thu Sep 17, 2015 3:26 am

Nepharan Domestic Newswire - the Zenith

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