Nepharan Domestic Newswire - the Zenith

by **Nephara** » Wed Aug 27, 2014 4:29 am

337 NFA PREMIERSHIP PREVIEW

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L  For  Ag  +/- Pts
 1 Brinemouth               46  29  11   6  105  51  +54  98  Champions
 2 Violence Chariots        46  28   7  11   82  57  +25  91  Champions
 3 Crisisbless              46  25  15   6   68  34  +34  90  Globe
 4 AFC Treason              46  24  10  12   71  46  +25  82  Globe
 5 Maximum City             46  22  16   8   63  39  +24  82  Globe
 6 Raven River              46  21  13  12   71  53  +18  76
 7 Vermillion Rage          46  22  10  14   66  55  +11  76
 8 Sabrefell Athletic       46  20  15  11   66  52  +14  75
 9 Goodfeather FC           46  21   7  18   69  65   +4  70
10 North Laithland          46  16  14  16   61  57   +4  62
11 Chenoworth Rovers        46  17  10  19   50  54   -4  61
12 Sabrefell Moths          46  15  14  17   49  50   -1  59
13 Corvette Maulers         46  16  11  19   57  70  -13  59
14 West Brinemouth          46  14  14  18   37  42   -5  56
15 Chatswood                46  14  13  19   49  56   -7  55
16 Chenoworth Harriers      46  15   9  22   52  68  -16  54
17 Parrhesia United         46  14  11  21   59  75  -16  53
18 South Laithland          46  12  14  20   46  56  -10  50  CedC
19 Maximum Rovers           46  11  14  21   53  72  -19  47
20 Ritter Town              46  11  13  22   58  71  -13  46
21 Martella Jazz            46  11  12  23   59  81  -22  45  Relegated
22 Iron City                46  11  12  23   32  57  -25  45  Relegated
23 Cranequin Wanderers      46  11  11  24   48  81  -33  44  Relegated
24 Southfell United         46   7  14  25   29  58  -29  35  Relegated

 1 AFC Integabad              46  25   9  12  57  36  +21  84  Promoted
 2 Extreme Hills              46  24  10  12  70  50  +20  82  Promoted
 3 Newrook City               46  24   9  13  66  42  +24  81  Promoted
 4 Crisisbless United         46  24   9  13  76  53  +23  81  Promoted
 5 Leichhardt                 46  22  12  12  46  31  +15  78
 6 Coret Hawks                46  22  10  14  53  39  +14  76

TOP SCORERS
28 - D. Norgen (BRI)
24 - T. Kenway (RVR)
22 - C. Drinkwater (VIC)
20 - C. Bittencourt (TRE)
19 - J. Ritter (VIC)
18 - J. Capulet (MXC)
17 - E. Rogalski (CHR), R. Ironside (GDF), D. Arragne (NLA), D. Canady (PAR)
16 - L. Fletcher (CVM), O. Keast (CRI), A. Rettinger (GDF), R. Drake (MXR), C. Kellow (SFA), A. Dorne (SFA), E. Havelund (SLA)
15 - K. Mathias (BRI), G. Kite (MXC), F. Keller (RTT)
14 - C. Scherzer (CRI), K. Lazuli (VRR), G. Farrell (VRR)

AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Darek Norgen (BRI)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Rutger Locke (VIC)
Iron Fist (Debutant of the Year): Lucia Vaughan (RVR)
Team of the Year: Ballard (CRI); Kellen (VIC), Marlowe (TRE), Finnan (CRI), Clough (BRI); Watt (BRI), Mathias (BRI), Locke (VIC), Leinster (VIC); Kenway (RVR), Norgen (BRI) - Bench: Fitzmarten (RVR), Bernard (MXC), Stockinger (CRI), Harper (TRE), Murdoch (VIC), Connacht (TRE), Drinkwater (VIC)
Manager of the Year: Harry Collingwood (RVR)

CLUB FORMAT (Crest linked)

by **Nephara** » Wed Aug 27, 2014 4:33 am

by **Nephara** » Wed Aug 27, 2014 4:34 am

by **Nephara** » Fri Aug 29, 2014 6:47 pm

Sometimes, opening matchdays are kind of dull - all teams trying to shake off the rust. That… was very emphatically not the case. Well, it might have been for the Harriers, utterly pulverised by Vermillion Rage - 2-0 after 10 minutes, new signing Havelund stroking home the first goal of the season after three, 4-0 by the end of the first half, then Havelund finishing his hattrick rather belatedly in the 88th minute. Asked for her thoughts on the match after the fact, manager Ruth Tungsten solemnly and unironically blamed the referee. Next up, the new-look Moths under Rachel Weixelbraun utterly destroyed Crisisbless. Diandra Ballard’s throat was hoarse by the end from shouting at her own defence - evidently fellow Nepharim international Karl Finnan tired of it after a while, and got himself sent off in the 60th minute. By then, the score was ‘just’ 3-1, but Asquith and Oliver ensured the pain wasn’t over just yet. Even better for the Moths, on the other side of Crisisbless the newly promoted Chessmen were taking a very unlikely but much-needed three points over their rivals, Athletic. The icing on the cake for a neutral, at least, was Integabad’s return to the top flight - eight goals, a defender on each side sent off, both managers incandescent with rage throughout, and home fan smugness cut short by a debut goal from Raul Monti - the orders to light the pink flares across the stands shut down early by the Yttribian international’s half-volley in injury time. More of the same, please.

Gareth Bournemouth evidently put the boot into the Heelers, as Crisisbless put down a plucky-but-rubbish Ritter Town with brutal efficiency. Osric Keast, who scored Crisisbless’ one goal last match, seems at last to be coming into his own as he adds two more to his tally. Meanwhile, Judith Keller’s reign at the helm of the Spiders is off to a great start - first a victory over Maximum City last week with the help of an impressive series of saves from Pence, and now a 3-0 triumph over Goodfeather at the Bluegrass. A clearly aggravated Spike Turnbull, whose grievance with the club that fired her is deeply personal, did at least get as far as making it to the press conference, but stormed out after the first, innocuous question.

Goodfeather can at least vent their frustrations on the utter destruction of Maximum Rovers and everything they stand for and love, including Gerhard Zander’s hamstring - put paid to with a spiteful Kieran Ritter slide tackle. The Project +90 graduate is adjusting very quickly to his new surroundings. Meanwhile, Treason are denied a victory over the Chariots by a factor of Cheney Bittencourt. Gethin Ramsey, who’s gotten off to a slow start back in the Premiership, asked what his thoughts were on Lily Schindler’s performance - the striker missing a number of chances. He replied darkly; “She’ll learn to regret her mistakes.”

Unsurprisingly, Schindler was dropped against Brinemouth, but Treason can still only battle their way to a draw. Darek Norgen crushes their hopes in the 82nd minute with a spectacular overhead kick. Gethin Ramsey doesn’t respond well in the press conference, muttering darkly about how ‘we was robbed by foreign flair bullshit’. Crisisbless’ quest to cunningly lower the expectations of its title-challenging rivals continues with a flaccid draw to Newrook City in which both sides missed penalties. These are just two of seven 1-1 draws over the weekend, but the scoreline is at least made up for by the Smiths and the Hounds - Hills takes an unlikely 4-3 win away at Maximum City, Croft Drinkwater poking home the laziest and cheapest of hattricks.

The Hounds’ hot streak continues, never really looking threatened against a Goodfeather side whose primary reaction to long low crosses to Drinkwater (who nets another two) is to look sad. Meanwhile, Integabad are yet to chalk up a win, and can’t do so against the Chessmen - despite dominating most of the game, they’re wretched in the final third. Twenty shots, three on target, says the whole story. Meanwhile, United centreback Cheney Broadbelt might not be able to defend at this level, but he can apparently bundle corner kicks into the net to give his team the victory.

Another win for the Hills, brutally maiming the Chessmen. Meanwhile, Ritter manage a clean victory over Treason, 1-0 at home - Ramsey’s expression is stormy throughout, perhaps not helped by what was at times open laughter from opposing manager Rachael Gallagher at seeing the Stags’ finishing (or lack thereof). It seems as though Quinn’s stint of starting over Schindler is at an end. In Goodfeather, the Quakers prove unusually porous yet again, though Rettinger and Bottlegreen both get on the scoresheet - even with that, their three-man defence seems not quite to have clicked yet. Keast’s formidable early form continues, but out of nowhere it’s Luxulya St. Cleer to save the day, scoring her first goals for her new club in the 80th and 83rd minutes. Spike Turnbull’s nails look more than a little well-chewed.

The Hounds finally get found out, evaporating at the prospect of Geneva Rafferty hoofing the ball at the box and Sadler or Fletcher getting on the end of it. Four times. Meanwhile, the first Crisisbless derby in years (at this level, at least) finds Crisisbless frustrated time and time again in a game they dominate, before United very nearly steal it in the 89th minute - Rourke, however, hits a post. Crisisbless finally do get the result they deserve, Finnan heading in a badly-defended corner in injury time, but it’s a close-run thing.

Treason suffer another humiliating defeat, while Brinemouth suffer their first of the season to the unlikely source of Ritter Town. Corvette, meanwhile, continue last season’s trend of both winning and losing big, following up on their destruction of the Hounds with getting demolished by Crisisbless. That said, most eyes were drawn to Goodfeather’s impressive feat - utterly maiming Chatswood with five goals in the second half. “I feel sick to the very fucking core,” commented Emery Lineker, who looked very tempted to shank Spike Turnbull rather than shake her hand.

Treason do manage a result over recently fierce rivals Maximum City, however - Lily Schindler finally clocks up a goal with a spectacular finish from fifteen yards, low and well beyond Jelic’s fingertips. But it’s a goal deserved by the flow of play throughout, with Harper, Schneider and, making her debut in the 81st minute, Olenna Jaspenner all coming close. Meanwhile, Chatswood might be lacking the bullshit long throws and extreme violence of Vince Riggs, but marquee man Mikko Haagensen does happen to be younger, faster, less prone to being sent off and genuinely far better - a man-of-the-match performance saves a point for the Woodsmen against an overachieving Crisisbless United, and it’s his assist for Tanith Bryson that gets them the goal.

Two sides who’ve chalked up some upsets recently come head-to-head - Augustine Houghton’s Newrook City hosting Rachael Gallagher’s Stallions. The hosts seem to have the better of it, aside from collapsing dramatically as soon as the ball got into the box - a mixture of Cromwell and Bardsley imitating clowns and Killen and Rinehart imitating good defenders. Felix Keller quietly shows them the value of a striker who can actually put chances away by running at, and through, the Rooks’ defence to stab the ball past Brennan for the winner. Meanwhile, one of those quirks of scheduling sees both Maximum teams hosting both major Sabrefell teams - convenient, as not only do Athletic get the chance to see their team rip the Rovers apart (a first goal for Martin Cilic a particular highlight), but they get to laugh at Moths fans on the bullet train back to the capital.

Integabad are still winless, but they can at least count Athletic as something of kindred spirits - a club whose best years came before UICA. Perhaps, then, they can finally cut a break. Athletic firmly reject this notion with a 4-0 thrashing, with four different players getting on the scoresheet - including one for promising centreback Daniel Kruse, bundled in at a corner. When asked for his thoughts on the match, Wilhelm Moesler let loose a string of curses in German before quietly asking for the next question - the curses, incidentally, loud enough to interrupt Miriam Aragon’s own interview in the adjoining room.

Rachel Weixelbraun’s a creature of habit. In the first match of the season, her Moths went to Crisisbless, maimed the opposition 5-1, Peter Oliver threw his shirt into the crowd after his second goal, and then went home. Now, in the twelfth, they’ve gone to Crisisbless, maimed the opposition 5-1 in a match where Peter Oliver threw his shirt into the crowd after his second goal before going home. On the other side of Crisisbless, the Heelers have a better time of things - South Laithland look tired and jaded, and get picked apart at the seams. Meanwhile, Integabad continue to be winless, Treason suffer another upset defeat, Extreme Hills are involved in a crushing defeat on one side or another and Felix Keller saves the Stallions from defeat, and all is right with the world.

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                      P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Brinemouth               12  8  3  1  19   8  +11  27
  2 Crisisbless              12  7  1  4  21  13   +8  22
  3 North Laithland          12  6  4  2  17  10   +7  22
  4 Chatswood                12  6  4  2  17  14   +3  22
  5 Sabrefell Athletic       12  6  2  4  23  15   +8  20
  6 Corvette Maulers         12  6  2  4  17  14   +3  20
  7 Vermillion Rage          12  6  1  5  19  13   +6  19
  8 Sabrefell Moths          12  4  6  2  22  12  +10  18
  9 Extreme Hills            12  5  3  4  19  17   +2  18
 10 Parrhesia United         12  5  3  4  22  22   +0  18
 11 Goodfeather FC           12  4  5  3  22  16   +6  17
 12 Violence Chariots        12  4  5  3  20  17   +3  17
 13 Maximum City             12  5  2  5  14  12   +2  17
 14 AFC Treason              12  4  4  4   9  10   -1  16
 15 Ritter Town              12  4  4  4  11  16   -5  16
 16 Raven River              12  4  3  5  13  13   +0  15
 17 Maximum Rovers           12  4  3  5  10  13   -3  15
 18 South Laithland          12  4  2  6   8  17   -9  14
 19 Chenoworth Rovers        12  3  4  5   8  11   -3  13
 20 Crisisbless United       12  3  3  6  10  19   -9  12
 21 Newrook City             12  2  4  6  11  14   -3  10
 22 Chenoworth Harriers      12  2  4  6   8  20  -12  10
 23 West Brinemouth          12  2  2  8   8  19  -11   8
 24 AFC Integabad            12  0  6  6   9  22  -13   6

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                        P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 AFC Serpentine             12  9  1  2  19   9  +10  28
  2 Iron City                  12  9  1  2  15   6   +9  28
  3 Leichhardt                 12  8  1  3  16   6  +10  25
  4 Cypher Town                12  7  3  2  24  12  +12  24
  5 Bishop                     12  6  2  4  17   8   +9  20
  6 Martella Jazz              12  6  2  4  23  18   +5  20
  7 Creed United               12  6  2  4  16  14   +2  20
  8 Coret Hawks                12  5  3  4  18   6  +12  18
  9 Southfell United           12  5  3  4  20  21   -1  18
 10 Rochford                   12  3  8  1  16  13   +3  17
 11 Cranequin Wanderers        12  5  2  5  16  16   +0  17
 12 Mainstream Fist            12  4  4  4  17  17   +0  16
 13 Vermillion Wanderers       12  4  4  4  20  22   -2  16
 14 Leopolis Hatemongers       12  3  6  3  15  14   +1  15
 15 Starling                   12  4  3  5  13  14   -1  15
 16 West Hook                  12  3  6  3   6   8   -2  15
 17 AFC Shale                  12  3  6  3   9  12   -3  15
 18 Dross Rovers               12  3  4  5   9  17   -8  13
 19 Franchise FC               12  3  3  6  13  22   -9  12
 20 Brookford Otters           12  3  2  7  12  23  -11  11
 21 Cranequin City             12  2  3  7  13  19   -6   9
 22 Crisisbless Athletic       12  1  5  6   8  14   -6   8
 23 Sutcroft                   12  1  3  8   9  22  -13   6
 24 Rhagant Schadenfreude      12  0  5  7   7  18  -11   5

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Locksley                     12  8  4  0  36  10  +26  28
  2 Sheridan                     12  8  2  2  17   5  +12  26
  3 Ox River United              12  8  1  3  14   6   +8  25
  4 Boleyn Town                  12  6  3  3  14   6   +8  21
  5 Project +90                  12  6  3  3  23  17   +6  21
  6 North Sabrefell              12  5  5  2  18  11   +7  20
  7 Strephonage                  12  6  2  4  14  11   +3  20
  8 South Parrhesia              12  6  1  5  13  16   -3  19
  9 Rushe United                 12  5  3  4  24  23   +1  18
 10 South Brill                  12  6  0  6  16  15   +1  18
 11 Crossroads Town              12  4  6  2  12  13   -1  18
 12 North Dubstep                12  5  3  4  11  12   -1  18
 13 Dubstep Rangers              12  5  3  4   9  11   -2  18
 14 Hackett                      12  4  5  3  10   8   +2  17
 15 East Laithland Harriers      12  4  4  4  12  13   -1  16
 16 Falston Town                 12  4  4  4  14  22   -8  16
 17 Coret Rovers                 12  3  4  5  11  13   -2  13
 18 Armstrong                    12  2  6  4  13  12   +1  12
 19 Iron United                  12  2  6  4  11  12   -1  12
 20 Forge Carpenters             12  3  2  7  13  17   -4  11
 21 Gridlock Rovers              12  3  2  7   9  18   -9  11
 22 Kensey Town                  12  2  2  8  10  25  -15   8
 23 Fenland Albion               12  1  2  9   7  19  -12   5
 24 FC United                    12  0  3  9   4  20  -16   3

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                        P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Corby Hubris               12  9  3  0  19   7  +12  30
  2 Masculine Town             12  8  2  2  20  11   +9  26
  3 Iberia Chenoworth          12  8  1  3  24  12  +12  25
  4 Brookway Town              12  7  4  1  20   9  +11  25
  5 Chaker Town                12  7  3  2  16  12   +4  24
  6 Long Lake                  12  7  2  3  14   7   +7  23
  7 Gridlock                   12  6  4  2  22  10  +12  22
  8 Geoff United               12  5  4  3  15  13   +2  19
  9 Belgrave                   12  4  6  2  16   9   +7  18
 10 Reckdale Town              12  5  2  5  16  15   +1  17
 11 Blaze                      12  5  2  5  20  21   -1  17
 12 Senway Town                12  4  3  5  15  13   +2  15
 13 Gridlock East              12  4  3  5  12  14   -2  15
 14 Vermillion Spite           12  4  3  5  11  14   -3  15
 15 Brindleton                 12  4  2  6  15  14   +1  14
 16 Stamper Road               12  4  2  6  16  16   +0  14
 17 Sutcroft Athletic          12  3  5  4  12  14   -2  14
 18 Getton Town                12  3  3  6  13  20   -7  12
 19 Inner-East Fairywrens      12  2  4  6  11  15   -4  10
 20 Camwell Road               12  2  4  6   9  16   -7  10
 21 Ringway                    12  2  3  7  15  27  -12   9
 22 Nay Town                   12  1  4  7   6  18  -12   7
 23 Lackerrun                  12  1  4  7  15  28  -13   7
 24 Haymaker Town              12  2  1  9   8  25  -17   7

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                     P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Courser                 12  9  1  2  16   7   +9  28
  2 Dartmouth Terriers      12  7  1  4  20  11   +9  22
  3 Thratewood              12  7  1  4  14  11   +3  22
  4 Bellamy                 12  5  6  1  12   7   +5  21
  5 Grovebank               12  6  3  3  15  11   +4  21
  6 Tryst Athletic          12  5  5  2  17  13   +4  20
  7 Stonegrave              12  5  5  2   9   7   +2  20
  8 The Strongest           12  5  4  3  21  11  +10  19
  9 Ramsay                  12  5  4  3  16  15   +1  19
 10 Virginia Treason        12  4  5  3  15  12   +3  17
 11 Norton Road             12  4  4  4  11  11   +0  16
 12 Barcastle Rovers        12  3  6  3  12  13   -1  15
 13 Kommissar               12  2  8  2  17  16   +1  14
 14 Harrington              12  3  4  5  13  14   -1  13
 15 Stekelenbright          12  3  2  7  10  18   -8  11
 16 Worthall                12  2  4  6  10  16   -6  10
 17 Crisisbless Ermac       12  3  1  8   9  18   -9  10
 18 Southriver              12  2  3  7  10  17   -7   9
 19 Perrett                 12  1  5  6   8  13   -5   8
 20 Huysegem                12  2  2  8   7  21  -14   8

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                  P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Riverkey             12  8  2  2  19   8  +11  26
  2 Sandrock             12  7  4  1  12   4   +8  25
  3 Mantlegrove          12  8  0  4  18  14   +4  24
  4 Bodkin Road          12  8  0  4  17  17   +0  24
  5 Greygate             12  6  4  2  23  12  +11  22
  6 Diamondqueen         12  6  4  2  16   8   +8  22
  7 East Slake           12  6  2  4  12  13   -1  20
  8 Morningstar          12  5  4  3  23  12  +11  19
  9 Downsparrow          12  5  3  4  24  15   +9  18
 10 Fischer              12  4  4  4  14  13   +1  16
 11 Rookwall             12  4  4  4  14  20   -6  16
 12 Violence Tigers      12  4  3  5  13  15   -2  15
 13 Norpike              12  4  2  6  19  19   +0  14
 14 Leo                  12  3  4  5  17  18   -1  13
 15 Starrian             12  3  4  5  14  16   -2  13
 16 De La Patria         12  3  3  6  15  19   -4  12
 17 Twelvetrees          12  3  1  8   4  12   -8  10
 18 Pridehome            12  3  1  8  12  21   -9  10
 19 Markoni              12  2  3  7  14  28  -14   9
 20 Harbrook United      12  0  4  8   9  25  -16   4

NFA CUP

A new-look NFA Cup kicks off at last in its new format - Third Division clubs face off against those of the Conference. There’s few surprises, but it’s a good publicity boost for semi-professional teams only recently in the spotlight. Even if, sometimes, that spotlight isn’t particularly flattering - Kommissar and Grovebank grind their way through a penalty shootout that ends 1-0, ultimately in Grovebank’s favour - their goalkeeper, Damian Ryall, a 22-year old police constable, gets spectacularly lucky to make all five saves. Semi-professional Twelvetrees nearly pulls off an upset against fully-professional-but-crap Stamper Road, once of the old Second Division, bringing them to extra time in a fantastic 3-3 draw - but that same extra time dooms them, their lack of conditioning showing as a couple of tapins wins the match for Stamper. But spare a thought for Harbrook United - the Lazuli Coast team is winless in the league, and simply gets hung, drawn and quartered against the Third Division’s Long Lake - a 5-1 pummelling is on the cards.

First and Second Division clubs enter the fray, and on several occasions the gulf in quality shows. Granted, it isn’t always that simple - Iron City and Martella Jazz, both in the Premiership last season, have the misfortune to be drawn against one another in a match Iron wins convincingly in front of their own fans. Doubtless Martella would feel they deserved a Third Round berth over Riverkey, a Conference East side smartly dispatching Third Division Gridlock East with a deserved win on penalties. While Riverkey are a fine team who deserve their victory with a long-term plan to become a fixture in the professional tiers, they are somewhat lucky to avoid the big teams - Cranequin Wanderers bury Downsparrow 8-1, six from Melissa Sanders (who only scored ten in the Premiership all last season), and there’s thumpings on the cards for Brindleton, Grovebank and de la Patria too.

by **Nephara** » Mon Sep 01, 2014 4:09 am

Treason manage to purge their demons with a good win over the Harriers - Ramsey’s preference for utterly dominating opponents showed marvellously. The Harriers got 56% possession in a match they failed to get a shot on target and lost 3-0. Just over west in the Laith, North Laithland have been unusually good, lodged in the UICA places at the quarter-mark. Heretofore winless AFC Integabad put a stop to this with a dominant performance, more than one pass cutting through the Laithland defence - manager Judith Keller railed at the weakness of her defence after the match, but saved her harshest critique for striker Darren Arragne. “Compare his performance today to that of the last twelve matches, he was unrecognisable. Fucking unrecognisable!” Meanwhile, the tradition of Sabrefell’s teams merking those of Crisisbless continues - Athletic, inspired by a fantastic Bree Montreal performance, destroy them 4-1.

Brinemouth, fresh off putting Maximum Rovers to the sword, now have their bigger, harder roommate to deal with. The Smiths, characteristically, begin compact and defensive - but the Dockers scoring first is ultimately good for the game, a low cross from Musni converted by Norgen. It forces City to open up and attack, which they do with gusto - after a sustained attack on Tana Colbright’s goal, it’s ultimately Michael Keane who gets into it, striking a fierce shot from just outside the box that hits the underside of the crossbar on its way in. However, Brinemouth do climb into the lead by half-time - Norgen turning provider with a neat centre, just as Chris Christon’s charge puts him in the perfect position to bury the strike past Jelic. It’s a mystery exactly what Brunet tells his team in the dressing room, but it must’ve done a hell of a job - Kite strokes the second past fellow Cormorant Colbright from eight yards when played one-on-one with her, then is felled by Magnus Horaek for a penalty. Kite converts it herself, but can’t walk right after that - she’s taken off for the veteran William Calrek, who bags his first of the season with a spectacular side-volley coming off a Parrish cross. A fine victory, though Kite’s predicted two-week absence will punish them. Meanwhile, it continues to be a season of things repeating themselves - yet again, Athletic and Moths both go to a different city (this time Chenoworth), with the Reds winning and the Greens losing, and presumably many words to that effect being exchanged on the ride home. But the Harriers are lucky to have their victory - there were more than shades of offside to Lauren’s goal. “Football’s a funny old game, and it all evens out in the end,” Rachel Weixelbraun said magnanimously after the match. “It wasn’t bloody offside,” grumbled Tungsten in her own interview.

Peace and quiet all around… in ten of the twelve fixtures. But there’s a storm in the Laith, as a nine-goal title fight happens between Spiders and Heelers - Arragne’s long-distance strike is cancelled out by a fine solo effort from Keast, and then another - before fellow Apoxian St. Cleer gets on the scoresheet. Mantell pulls one back just before the break, and Arragne equalises three minutes after, but Sternberg’s left-foot drive is too much for Jayce Pence. And it’s Pence at fault for the fifth and final Heeler goal - Knutsen strikes from a tight angle at long range, albeit low and with power, and Pence fumbles it into her own net. Sam Allbeck’s cross is flicked on by Arragne for an easy Sedgwick goal (and very multicultural, at that), but it’s not enough to do anything more than make things tense. Not to be outdone, Chatswood put five of their own past Seb Seward in the Barbarossa - four from set pieces or long throws. “You’ve got to use the advantages you have,” remarked Chatswood captain Markus Beckett cheerfully.

The Spiders have chosen an interesting long-term plan of attack, deciding cunningly to go winless in seven in order to keep their opponents off their guard. The Rovers make it eight with a crushing victory in which the Spiders are left utterly ruined in their wake - despite missing key forward Rogalski through suspension. A crisply-taken goal from Storin in the 13th minute, as well as an assist that Penthall made the best of, shows that their striking options certainly do not begin and end with the Ruentenbacher.

For all the peace and quiet of last match, there’s none of that around today - aside from the Spiders making it nine without a win in the background. The Hounds are a pretty decent team, and players like Fowler and possibly Rivers are likely future Cormorants, but they don’t look it in a sorry display that sees them evaporate against Brinemouth’s short passing game. Kennedy is left repeatedly exposed, a situation which isn’t helped when the Hills defence gives away two penalties (both coolly converted by Darek Norgen), and it’s not a showing their attack makes up for. Croft Drinkwater, as literally anyone who has seen him plays knows, is helpless without service (especially at the age of 33) and all Meghan Sandmire can do is shoot straight at Colbright a couple of times. The only consolation is that while the Hounds were getting merked 6-0, the Chessmen were getting merked 7-0. Cheney Broadbelt, Bess Gannon and, in the 58th minute, Constantine Synge seemed utterly incapable of dealing with low crosses. Or high crosses. Or long shots. Or pace. Or technique. Or physicality. It was enough for Rook Harm in the commentary box to acidly declare Synge the ‘worst player to ever reach the Premiership’ - they’ve since begun a Twitter war, as an aside. Next match, of course, sees United face the Dockers. That’ll be… fun.

“Chessmen? Hah! Pawns is more like,” Brinemouth midfielder Chris Christon is heard to say before the match. Perhaps his viewpoint is understandable, given that Brinemouth are the reigning champions, expected to be in the front running for the title and have just beaten a decent team 6-0, while Crisisbless United are newly-promoted, expected to prop up the table and have just been trashed 7-0, equalling a record for highest defeat in the league no less. The bookies, perhaps unsurprisingly, aren’t giving the best odds to the plucky hosts. But Christon’s words didn’t fall on deaf ears - United’s opening is clinical, a series of long balls eventually putting Reinhard Mueller in a position to smash the ball high past Colbright. A little more is added to the ‘do you believe in miracles’-metre when Rebecca Strachan manages to fire past Colbright from twenty yards after a sustained period of, yes, United dominance. Brinemouth do eventually get back in their stride, and the rest of the first half belongs to them and them alone - despite a few decent saves, Juergen Swallowtail is beaten twice, both by Licentian captain James Watt. But magic is still very much in the air - Carruthers using his height and strength, unusual for a winger in any other league, to head in a cross from Bren at the far post, before he turns provider for substitute Rook Speed with a low cross, which the former Chenoworth Rovers man smashes into the roof of the net. The result that literally nobody could have predicted, apart from the four hundred and twenty stories of people putting cheeky bets on them and getting paid hundreds the tabloids run the following day. Any word from trash-talker extraordinaire Christon? “Home advantage means a lot these days, y’know… big team like United get a lot of voices behind ‘em…” Thanks, Chris.

The Rovers and Chariots steal the show in Maximum tonight in a six-goal thriller, notable not only for a Goal of the Season contender - Louisa Spellmeyer manages to dance past Leinster, Murdoch and Naylor before a high, astoundingly powerful thunderbolt makes it past Thrace by way of the post - but for the goal celebration of the fifth. Reinhard Drake, with a powerful strike to beat Thrace, celebrated by taking the corner flag like a golf club and swinging it. Brenecian strike partner Elsa Ashworth, perhaps expecting more of a baseball bat-swinging motion, perhaps just not very observant of her surroundings, ran right into the swing and took it full in the face. “Ah, I don’t take it personally,” she said cheerfully after the match. “After all, we got a good result.”

The prospect of playing Corvette Maulers away still leaves a bitter taste in the mouth of Dockers fans - after all, it was their first match after securing the title last season, and they lost to the never-predictable Maulers 5-1. Leigh Fletcher coolly points out that lightning can, in fact, strike twice, burying two goals and putting a third on a silver plate for Lara Holt. In other news, an error from Constantine Synge costs United a (largely undeserved) win against the Harriers in Chenoworth. Rook Harm reignites their Twitter feud by calling him a bottler. And then a ‘crap beta’, a ‘microdick’ and, curiously, ‘Brenecian’. Synge responds calmly by informing Harm that the colour commentator is, in fact, ‘welcum 2 cum fight me if your man enough you kno where 2 find me cumon if you think your hard enough dog cunt’. Crisisbless United Association Football Club responds by forcing Synge to delete his account. It’s probably for the best.

Extreme Hills get utterly destroyed against the Chariots, again conceding six though at least this time they manage to score. Of these, Nate Walker puts the ball in the net four times - Licentian by birth, Project +90-graduated, and a naturalised Nepharim dual-citizen, the striker is a symbol of Esportiva as a whole. Croft Drinkwater rather fittingly nets the Hounds’ consolation, and is applauded even by the away fans - Drinkwater’s affection for Violence and vice versa is hardly a secret. Meanwhile, West Brinemouth’s troubles continue with a bad defeat to Crisisbless United - though perhaps not as bad as the other Brinemouth’s defeat to the Chessmen - where they barely threaten the league’s weakest defence. Daniel Freuen is left rather isolated up front, though he’s not blameless either, missing a sitter in the 77th.

It’s a quiet day, where most teams seem content to draw with their opponents. Specifically, by one-all scorelines. Corvette aren’t so lucky, sunk by a Gulls’ defence determined to stand strong for once, and a headed goal by Freuen - neither are Extreme, who get utterly pumped again. The Hounds are proving good value in the Premiership, and tend to be liked by most neutrals - even Treason fans politely applaud their consolation goal, an astounding free kick from Crisisbless loanee Brigid Kestrel.

Brinemouth utterly pulp Chatswood, who somehow contrive to have two men (Reeve and Firth) sent off by the end of the first half. Total Football has faced many challenges, but a 3-4-1 with a midfield diamond that lacks literally any wing players is not foremost among them. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Emery Lineker spends the entire post-match conference lambasting respected referee and Baptism of Fire veteran Maria Stout, without offering a single comment either on the defeat, or on her opponents. Treacherously, captain Markus Beckett later remarked he felt lucky not to be sent off himself for a particularly vicious challenge. United, meanwhile, continue to defy their critics by keeping solid at the back (sometimes) - centreback Cheney Broadbelt is, in fact, declared man of the match in a 2-0 victory over South Laithland, somehow managing to keep veteran striker and former Tern Vadim Illich-Svitych in his pocket all match. The Southrons, as a result, are starting to get a sinking feeling.

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                      P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Brinemouth               23  14  5   4  46  24  +22  47
  2 Crisisbless              23  13  4   6  43  28  +15  43
  3 AFC Treason              23  12  6   5  32  16  +16  42
  4 Sabrefell Moths          23  10  8   5  33  21  +12  38
  5 Sabrefell Athletic       23  11  4   8  43  30  +13  37
  6 Vermillion Rage          23  10  5   8  39  26  +13  35
  7 Maximum City             23   9  8   6  29  21   +8  35
  8 Chatswood                23   9  8   6  30  32   -2  35
  9 Goodfeather FC           23   8 10   5  39  29  +10  34
 10 Corvette Maulers         23  10  4   9  32  27   +5  34
 11 North Laithland          23   9  7   7  30  27   +3  34
 12 Violence Chariots        23   8  9   6  40  32   +8  33
 13 Parrhesia United         23   9  6   8  34  38   -4  33
 14 Raven River              23   8  8   7  24  21   +3  32
 15 Ritter Town              23   6 10   7  22  29   -7  28
 16 Crisisbless United       23   7  7   9  26  41  -15  28
 17 Newrook City             23   7  6  10  24  24   +0  27
 18 AFC Integabad            23   6  9   8  18  30  -12  27
 19 Extreme Hills            23   6  7  10  26  43  -17  25
 20 Maximum Rovers           23   6  6  11  22  30   -8  24
 21 South Laithland          23   6  5  12  15  30  -15  23
 22 Chenoworth Rovers        23   4  8  11  16  24   -8  20
 23 Chenoworth Harriers      23   4  7  12  15  36  -21  19
 24 West Brinemouth          23   3  5  15  15  34  -19  14

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                        P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Leichhardt                 23  15  3   5  34  12  +22  48
  2 Iron City                  23  14  3   6  23  12  +11  45
  3 Cypher Town                23  13  4   6  39  25  +14  43
  4 Southfell United           23  13  4   6  40  36   +4  43
  5 AFC Serpentine             23  13  3   7  32  25   +7  42
  6 Bishop                     23  12  4   7  29  15  +14  40
  7 Creed United               23  12  4   7  37  25  +12  40
  8 Vermillion Wanderers       23  11  7   5  37  31   +6  40
  9 Martella Jazz              23  11  4   8  37  33   +4  37
 10 Cranequin Wanderers        23  10  6   7  32  25   +7  36
 11 Coret Hawks                23   9  8   6  29  14  +15  35
 12 Starling                   23   9  5   9  31  28   +3  32
 13 West Hook                  23   7  8   8  17  23   -6  29
 14 Franchise FC               23   7  7   9  25  34   -9  28
 15 Mainstream Fist            23   7  6  10  30  30   +0  27
 16 Dross Rovers               23   7  5  11  19  32  -13  26
 17 Rochford                   23   5 10   8  21  24   -3  25
 18 Cranequin City             23   6  7  10  30  34   -4  25
 19 Crisisbless Athletic       23   5  7  11  18  29  -11  22
 20 Sutcroft                   23   5  6  12  23  33  -10  21
 21 AFC Shale                  23   4  9  10  14  25  -11  21
 22 Leopolis Hatemongers       23   3  9  11  22  34  -12  18
 23 Brookford Otters           23   5  3  15  20  44  -24  18
 24 Rhagant Schadenfreude      23   3  8  12  16  32  -16  17

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Locksley                     23  15   6   2  56  21  +35  51
  2 Strephonage                  23  12   5   6  32  21  +11  41
  3 Sheridan                     23  12   4   7  30  18  +12  40
  4 Hackett                      23  11   6   6  25  18   +7  39
  5 Ox River United              23  12   3   8  23  18   +5  39
  6 Crossroads Town              23  10   9   4  34  30   +4  39
  7 East Laithland Harriers      23  11   5   7  33  23  +10  38
  8 South Brill                  23  12   2   9  30  27   +3  38
  9 North Sabrefell              23  10   7   6  31  23   +8  37
 10 South Parrhesia              23  11   4   8  29  29   +0  37
 11 Rushe United                 23   9   7   7  39  33   +6  34
 12 Boleyn Town                  23   9   6   8  23  17   +6  33
 13 Project +90                  23   9   6   8  33  34   -1  33
 14 Armstrong                    23   7  11   5  25  17   +8  32
 15 Iron United                  23   7  10   6  22  18   +4  31
 16 Falston Town                 23   7   9   7  27  34   -7  30
 17 North Dubstep                23   7   8   8  27  31   -4  29
 18 Coret Rovers                 23   8   4  11  22  25   -3  28
 19 Kensey Town                  23   7   4  12  28  35   -7  25
 20 Dubstep Rangers              23   6   7  10  18  27   -9  25
 21 Gridlock Rovers              23   5   4  14  15  32  -17  19
 22 Forge Carpenters             23   4   3  16  17  40  -23  15
 23 Fenland Albion               23   3   5  15  15  37  -22  14
 24 FC United                    23   2   5  16  14  40  -26  11

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                        P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Masculine Town             23  18  2   3  44  18  +26  56
  2 Iberia Chenoworth          23  14  4   5  46  25  +21  46
  3 Chaker Town                23  13  7   3  39  26  +13  46
  4 Long Lake                  23  14  4   5  26  15  +11  46
  5 Belgrave                   23  11  9   3  33  13  +20  42
  6 Brookway Town              23  12  6   5  39  24  +15  42
  7 Corby Hubris               23  11  8   4  27  20   +7  41
  8 Gridlock                   23  11  7   5  37  25  +12  40
  9 Blaze                      23  11  6   6  36  30   +6  39
 10 Gridlock East              23   9  7   7  28  24   +4  34
 11 Stamper Road               23   9  5   9  37  32   +5  32
 12 Senway Town                23   9  5   9  26  23   +3  32
 13 Geoff United               23   7  8   8  27  33   -6  29
 14 Vermillion Spite           23   7  7   9  23  28   -5  28
 15 Sutcroft Athletic          23   6  9   8  24  27   -3  27
 16 Reckdale Town              23   7  5  11  31  35   -4  26
 17 Inner-East Fairywrens      23   5  7  11  22  25   -3  22
 18 Brindleton                 23   6  4  13  24  31   -7  22
 19 Haymaker Town              23   6  4  13  20  34  -14  22
 20 Nay Town                   23   5  7  11  20  36  -16  22
 21 Camwell Road               23   3  9  11  19  28   -9  18
 22 Ringway                    23   3  7  13  20  45  -25  16
 23 Getton Town                23   3  5  15  19  47  -28  14
 24 Lackerrun                  23   2  6  15  26  49  -23  12

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                     P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Stonegrave              23  14   6   3  25  11  +14  48
  2 Dartmouth Terriers      23  14   3   6  39  20  +19  45
  3 Courser                 23  13   4   6  29  18  +11  43
  4 Bellamy                 23  11   7   5  22  14   +8  40
  5 Grovebank               23  12   4   7  31  24   +7  40
  6 Thratewood              23  11   4   8  27  21   +6  37
  7 The Strongest           23  10   6   7  33  27   +6  36
  8 Barcastle Rovers        23   8   7   8  23  29   -6  31
  9 Tryst Athletic          23   8   6   9  29  30   -1  30
 10 Harrington              23   7   8   8  24  21   +3  29
 11 Kommissar               23   5  14   4  30  29   +1  29
 12 Stekelenbright          23   8   4  11  21  25   -4  28
 13 Perrett                 23   7   5  11  19  22   -3  26
 14 Southriver              23   7   5  11  26  30   -4  26
 15 Virginia Treason        23   6   8   9  21  25   -4  26
 16 Norton Road             23   6   8   9  19  27   -8  26
 17 Worthall                23   6   7  10  21  25   -4  25
 18 Ramsay                  23   6   7  10  27  34   -7  25
 19 Huysegem                23   6   2  15  14  30  -16  20
 20 Crisisbless Ermac       23   5   5  13  20  38  -18  20

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                  P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Diamondqueen         23  14  4   5  37  12  +25  46
  2 Riverkey             23  13  5   5  29  17  +12  44
  3 Morningstar          23  12  5   6  51  23  +28  41
  4 Mantlegrove          23  13  2   8  32  24   +8  41
  5 Bodkin Road          23  13  2   8  32  25   +7  41
  6 Fischer              23  10  9   4  29  19  +10  39
  7 Downsparrow          23  11  4   8  44  27  +17  37
  8 Sandrock             23  10  7   6  19  13   +6  37
  9 East Slake           23  11  3   9  25  26   -1  36
 10 Violence Tigers      23   9  6   8  27  29   -2  33
 11 Greygate             23   7 10   6  32  28   +4  31
 12 Norpike              23   9  3  11  27  37  -10  30
 13 Rookwall             23   7  8   8  25  31   -6  29
 14 Leo                  23   7  7   9  28  32   -4  28
 15 De La Patria         23   6  7  10  24  30   -6  25
 16 Pridehome            23   6  5  12  21  34  -13  23
 17 Twelvetrees          23   6  4  13  11  22  -11  22
 18 Starrian             23   4  6  13  20  34  -14  18
 19 Markoni              23   4  6  13  25  46  -21  18
 20 Harbrook United      23   4  5  14  16  45  -29  17[/color]

NFA CUP

Three Conference teams have done well to make it this far - sadly, none progress further, with Riverkey put well in hand by Vermillion, Mantlegrove taking an early lead against Brookford before 34-year old striker and veteran of the Premiership years Delicious Johnson sinks a hattrick (Smoky Whelan making it four in injury time) and Southriver dismantled by last year’s surprise package in the Cup, Strephonage. Meanwhile, Maximum City and AFC Treason contrive to draw each other in the Cup. Again. Somehow. It adds to an already bitter rivalry and ends up going to penalties with both designated Cup goalkeepers given a chance to prove themself a hero. Joss Kay goes the right way four times from five, but can’t pull off a save against inch-perfect City penalties - the Smiths’ 18-year old stopper Sheila Kilgallon gets luckier, saving one and seeing another missed for the victory. At the Stableground, Ritter play Leichhardt in a dozy affair, both seemingly saving themselves for the league (the Stallions still have relegation concerns, Leichhardt are mounting a push for promotion). It’s as though they’re not expecting extra time, but they take it strongly when it arrives, cramming three goals into thirty minutes as both defences have, evidently, tired and frayed away. Ultimately, Ritter are the victors. Not every match was as close, and indeed several teams recently in the Premiership crash out by astounding margins. Young Kytlerian Brandon Roberts saves all three penalties Cranequin City fire at him, a heavily-rotated Southron lineup still puts four past the Hatemongers, Iron City have their dreams crushed in Sabrefell for the second time in two years, though this time in more emphatic fashion, Dubstep Rangers evaporate against the Quakers and Mainstream is taken out in an end-to-end affair by two Elsa Ashworth goals.

Boleyn Town, fresh off annihilating Rhagant, manage a shock 1-0 victory over Brinemouth - 19-year old midfielder Sharon Karsten finishing coolly past Malone from ten yards. It’s a massive boost to a team that was so very skint so very recently. Meanwhile, West Brinemouth suffer the usual curse of getting a cup result they’d much rather get in the league - a 2-0 win over Crisisbless would be very welcome in their relegation battle. Project +90 show a resilient defensive display to deny Maximum City until the 89th minute - their proud manager, Lukas Pallister, feeling disappointed they couldn’t hold out for an eventual win. An Illich-Svitych goal ensures Strephonage won’t be repeating last year’s run, while the number of Premiership clubs left thins considerably - Newrook are cold-cocked by River, the Maulers succumb to Violence, North Laithland are beaten on home turf by Vermillion Wanderers, Ritter are cleared out in a 4-3 thriller by Athletic, it takes extra time for Cranequin to beat Chatswood but it’s no less bitter a defeat, the Rovers are outlasted by Goodfeather and there’s nearly another scalp - it takes penalties for Weixelbraun’s new-look Moths to put down West Hook, but their greater composure shows and they manage three to Hook’s one.

Sabrefell Athletic, given another away tie against a Premiership outfit, manage another emphatic win - Christine Kellow, out-of-favour in the lone striker system favoured this season, nets twice in a 3-0 win over the holders. River and the Smiths face off in Maximum, both clubs needing penalties in the Third Round, and it comes to that again - this time Roberts can’t repeat his heroics, but Kilgallon can, and the hosts are through. Two sets of Wanderers face each other, but few are surprised it’s Cranequin, until recently of the Premiership, who edge rapid-rising Vermillion at home. Boleyn Town’s fairytale win over Brinemouth is put to bed by an unglamorous Brookford, Johnson yet again getting on the scoresheet with two workmanlike goals from close range. Franchise FC, in mid-First Division purgatory, put some glamour on the season with a narrow victory over Integabad - Brooke Finch, one of the few survivors from their ill-fated 331 Premiership campaign, nets both their goals from direct free kicks. Violence put paid to the Gulls’ hopes of winning another Cup - probably to their secret relief, as they’ve their hands full staving off relegation as it is. The Moths see off Goodfeather with an extremely free-flowing attack, the Quakers relying on heroics from Caravella to keep them in the game but ultimately succumbing to Gerhard Thunder’s physicality - the 37-year old managed a rare ninety minutes, and scored both goals. Finally, Bishop manages to progress over yet another Premiership team on penalties - they miss two to the Harriers’ one, but Mike Garland’s two saves carry them to victory.

by **Nephara** » Sat Sep 06, 2014 3:06 pm

Shock - the Gulls manage to avenge their opening-day defeat against Brinemouth. West Brinemouth lies bottom by five points coming into the match, while the Dockers have a four-point lead over Crisisbless, but with the home crowd baying for blood the Gulls outlast the Dockers with desperate defending. The Dockers look exhausted by the seventy-minute mark, and well out of ideas - West Brinemouth finish the job with two quick counterattacks culminating in a brace for Daniel Freuen. Meanwhile, in Sabrefell, Athletic avenge their opening-day defeat to the Chessmen with a 6-1 evisceration. The hapless Constantine Synge (deputising for a suspended Gannon), who finally has his Twitter account back on a probationary basis, suffers another sledging from Rook Harm in the commentary box as he gives two penalties away. Even the normally calm, composed and unbiased Rowan Pendragon can’t help but openly laugh when the second is conceded. Meanwhile, the Chariots, Treason, Crisisbless and Goodfeather also manage to avenge opening-day defeats - and even the Parrhesia-Integabad game marks a contrast. An open, fast-paced 4-4 draw on the first day, it’s now a dull grind settled only by Matt Sebastian heading home a Mullery cross.

Yet again, the unnatural clumping of derbies in the Premiership continues - and out of the Maximum and Treason ones, the latter makes for decidedly better viewing, a pulsating 3-3 draw marked by an obscene foul-count. Referee Markus Anderlecht declares stoutly after the match that he “decided they’d work out their differences between themselves.” Perhaps, Markus, but Brescia Stubbs kicking Elior Schneider’s legs out from under him off the ball is still a red card offence. The Maximum derby is a markedly duller affair, ninety grinding moments of dour football brightened only by the goal, in the 92nd - Rachael Monroe looks distraught as Hansson’s cross is headed powerfully home by Kite.

All the free-flowing, open play the Chariots can bring to the table… and it’s all for naught. Gethin Ramsey stated openly to the press, several times, that it was time for the Stags to “pull their finger out, get stuck in, turn the screw and go up.” Typical Ramsey buzzwords, but his Stags manage to shut down a Violence side that looks almost lost in attack without the influence of Rutger Locke. The Chariots have, in fact, struggled all season - as it happens, you can sell a player for twenty-five million pounds, but you can’t get twenty-five million pounds to play an advanced playmaker role in central midfield. Ramsey immediately declares his new victory a statement of intent; “Brinemouth are going down. We beasted the Chariots, and those sashed fuckers are next.” But Brinemouth have hardly missed a step either, and Garrotte is quietly confident after watching her side massacre Vermillion 3-0 at the Iron Hill. It’s a discussion Crisisbless would very much like to be a part of, but with two defeats in two matches they seem almost to be falling away - Parrhesia easily had the better of the match throughout, and deserved their victory.

For all the talk, the match is dead even. Brinemouth, the hosts, take an early lead through a James Watt free-kick; but as the match goes on, Treason’s physicality puts them in control of the match - Roque Acosta is easily man of the match, could have easily scored himself but for a stunning Tana Colbright save, and ultimately sets up the equaliser - an inch-perfect long pass for a nearly-unmarked Harper to fire low and hard into the bottom-left corner. It’s a truly quality match, with many international stars - Acosta, Grana, Flaccus, Watt, Miller, to say nothing of the number of Cormorants on display - and it shows the leaps and bounds the Premiership has come over the years, despite differences that seemed subtle on paper year-by-year, but that have added up immensely. It’s not a top league, and probably never will be, but it’s one to be counted - and it’s these two clubs, Brinemouth and AFC Treason, that have risen to become the strongest sides of a new era.

Five straight losses for AFC Integabad; and worse, they’ve not scored in that time. This time they’re dispatched by, of all things, a Constantine Synge goal - he bundles in a corner at the near post. At the other end of the table, the Smiths, who have been quietly capable these past few weeks, chalk up another win. The victims are Crisisbless, who dominate the centre of midfield but can’t get a sniff of it along the wings, and ultimately it’s City who make their advantage count - Hansson cross, Kite flick-on, Capulet buries it.

Crisisbless haven’t won in four matches, but it’s looking good as they bring a 1-0 lead into half-time against the Quakers. They manage sixty minutes before Goodfeather quietly strings a few good passes together, and one fantastic one, for Rettinger to take the ball on his chest, streak past Greig and smash the ball past Ballard. And just three minutes later, Rettinger’s flick-on sets up the substitute, 32-year old Dietmar Borussia, for the Goodfeather’s second of the match and Borussia’s second of the season. “We’re not letting any talk of a ‘winless streak’ upset us,” said a clearly upset Crisisbless captain, Karl Finnan, in the post-match interview. “All that matters is the next game.” And that’s away against a Crisisbless United side that have already claimed a few scalps this season. Yeah, no pressure, lads. At least someone, somewhere, will always manage to do worse - the Moths, after getting pulped 5-1 by Brinemouth, are now winless in nine.

Well, Crisisbless do break their winless streak, even if it is somewhat less than convincingly. A deflection off Cheney Broadbelt from a free kick gives Birgit Sternberg all the time in the world to smash the ball past Swallowtail. Meanwhile, South Laithland picks up a much-needed win over River - Illich-Svitych has really risen to the challenge of the relegation battle, and leads by example with a goal and an assist. Theodora Kenway pulls one back, but poor finishing betrays her when she’s given the perfect opportunity to level the scores - she’s a fine striker, but simply hasn’t looked as devastating as she was last year. The Gulls also pick up some much-needed points; coming at the expense of Maximum Rovers. But they need to pick up the pace - desperately.

The Gulls can’t capitalise on their earlier victory - they get beaten at home to Integabad. It’s Kelly Reisinger, who’s proven such a threat this season bombing down the right, who sets up a sitter for Uli Fischer, and the Panthers are unlucky to be held at just one. Yet again, Illich-Svitych scores a rare goal to deny the Spiders in a Laith derby - the Northerners had a great start to the season, but utterly collapsed after it. They won six times in their first eight matches - they’ve only won five more times since then.

Ruth Tungsten has done a lot of things for the Harriers, but the board evidently feels that saving this season would be a step too far, even for her. After she very characteristically blames a 5-1 defeat on the referee, she’s axed hours later; brought in to salvage the situation is Jeorge Hawthorne, once of Coret Hawks, a man who’s pulled more than one great relegation escape in his brief Premiership career. Meanwhile, for some other under-pressure managers, the situation gets better - for others, worse. Rachael Monroe goes another step towards keeping her job long-term with a good, solid 2-0 victory over South Laithland - club hero Gareth Brunt looks decidedly pensive about the result.

Hawthorne’s first match in charge of the Harriers comes at the home leg of the Chenoworth derby. It’s a bore draw, but they’ll take a point. Unfortunately for them, West Brinemouth claim a significantly better point - a vicious Freuen half-volley salvaging a draw against Crisisbless. South Laithland, meanwhile, continue their good form with a win over the Panthers.

It’s been a while since Crisisbless United got utterly taken to the cleaners, but Gethin Ramsey’s Treason manage a sickening 5-0 victory away. United have managed several great scalps at home this season, and this was not one of them - Harper’s venemous long balls doing all the damage as the 31-year old midfielder chalks up four assists. Josephus Flaccus puts the final nail in the Chessmen’s coffin, putting a wicked curve on a long shot to beat Swallowtail. United failed to put a shot on target all match. But elsewhere in Crisisbless, a far more even but even more pulsating encounter is to be found - Vermillion Rage score twice in the first ten minutes, forcing their hosts to open up and try to take back the game. Knutsen pulls one back with a low strike slotted under Rosenfeld, and St. Cleer manages the second with a free kick. It seems as though it’s all for naught, however - Diandra Ballard might be a fantastic shot-stopper, able to pull off a fantastic double save at close range, but that doesn’t work when you can only parry the second save off to the side, directly in the path of an onrushing Elmo Havelund. Presented with an empty net, the Buyan international can hardly miss. But after half time, Vermillion’s nemeses come back to bite them - their poor defence, specifically. Khan looks almost confused to be left with so much space as he runs into the box, but his strike arcs over Rosenfeld and into the net for the equaliser. Subsitute Mark Grayson, in for the curiously muted Sternberg, doesn’t get on the scoresheet, but he does chalk up a good assist - after doing most of the work, he’s forced out to the side by Jonas-Anderson. It’s too narrow to shoot, but he manages to brush past Jonas-Anderson and cross. Keast makes no mistake from the far post.

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Brinemouth               34  21   7   6  71  34  +37  70
  2 AFC Treason              34  20   8   6  55  26  +29  68
  3 Maximum City             34  17   9   8  43  26  +17  60
  4 Crisisbless              34  17   7  10  59  40  +19  58
  5 Chatswood                34  15  11   8  50  45   +5  56
  6 Violence Chariots        34  15   9  10  55  41  +14  54
  7 Vermillion Rage          34  15   8  11  59  41  +18  53
  8 Goodfeather FC           34  13  12   9  55  42  +13  51
  9 Raven River              34  14   9  11  40  33   +7  51
 10 Sabrefell Athletic       34  15   5  14  58  46  +12  50
 11 Parrhesia United         34  14   8  12  47  50   -3  50
 12 Sabrefell Moths          34  13   8  13  43  42   +1  47
 13 North Laithland          34  12  11  11  40  39   +1  47
 14 Corvette Maulers         34  12  10  12  43  40   +3  46
 15 Ritter Town              34  10  11  13  36  46  -10  41
 16 Extreme Hills            34  10  10  14  42  56  -14  40
 17 Crisisbless United       34  10   9  15  38  64  -26  39
 18 Chenoworth Rovers        34   9  11  14  30  36   -6  38
 19 Maximum Rovers           34  10   7  17  33  44  -11  37
 20 Newrook City             34   9   8  17  33  44  -11  35
 21 AFC Integabad            34   8  11  15  23  44  -21  35
 22 South Laithland          34   8   9  17  25  47  -22  33
 23 Chenoworth Harriers      34   7   9  18  23  55  -32  30
 24 West Brinemouth          34   7   7  20  26  46  -20  28

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Leichhardt                 34  22   6   6  51  17  +34  72
  2 Southfell United           34  21   6   7  66  49  +17  69
  3 Cypher Town                34  19   8   7  58  33  +25  65
  4 Bishop                     34  19   6   9  47  27  +20  63
  5 Iron City                  34  20   3  11  36  25  +11  63
  6 Coret Hawks                34  17  10   7  53  22  +31  61
  7 Martella Jazz              34  19   4  11  58  47  +11  61
  8 AFC Serpentine             34  16   5  13  42  43   -1  53
  9 Creed United               34  15   6  13  49  41   +8  51
 10 Cranequin Wanderers        34  13  11  10  42  36   +6  50
 11 Starling                   34  14   7  13  50  37  +13  49
 12 Vermillion Wanderers       34  13   8  13  50  51   -1  47
 13 Cranequin City             34  11  11  12  47  48   -1  44
 14 Rochford                   34   8  16  10  32  34   -2  40
 15 West Hook                  34  10  10  14  27  37  -10  40
 16 Sutcroft                   34   9  11  14  37  43   -6  38
 17 Mainstream Fist            34   9   9  16  39  44   -5  36
 18 Franchise FC               34   9   9  16  32  48  -16  36
 19 AFC Shale                  34   8  11  15  26  39  -13  35
 20 Leopolis Hatemongers       34   7  12  15  36  51  -15  33
 21 Brookford Otters           34   9   4  21  35  64  -29  31
 22 Crisisbless Athletic       34   7   9  18  23  54  -31  30
 23 Dross Rovers               34   7   8  19  27  52  -25  29
 24 Rhagant Schadenfreude      34   6  10  18  24  45  -21  28

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Locksley                     34  20   9   5  70  31  +39  69
  2 South Parrhesia              34  19   5  10  46  39   +7  62
  3 Ox River United              34  18   7   9  42  26  +16  61
  4 Sheridan                     34  18   6  10  43  25  +18  60
  5 Strephonage                  34  17   8   9  46  28  +18  59
  6 Hackett                      34  16  10   8  39  29  +10  58
  7 Crossroads Town              34  15  11   8  45  42   +3  56
  8 East Laithland Harriers      34  15   9  10  40  31   +9  54
  9 North Sabrefell              34  14  10  10  45  33  +12  52
 10 Falston Town                 34  13  12   9  40  43   -3  51
 11 Iron United                  34  12  13   9  33  30   +3  49
 12 Boleyn Town                  34  13   9  12  34  27   +7  48
 13 Rushe United                 34  13   9  12  53  47   +6  48
 14 Project +90                  34  13   9  12  44  46   -2  48
 15 South Brill                  34  15   3  16  40  42   -2  48
 16 Armstrong                    34  11  14   9  38  26  +12  47
 17 North Dubstep                34  13   8  13  41  44   -3  47
 18 Coret Rovers                 34  13   7  14  38  37   +1  46
 19 Gridlock Rovers              34   9   7  18  29  48  -19  34
 20 Kensey Town                  34   8   9  17  43  58  -15  33
 21 Dubstep Rangers              34   8   9  17  26  48  -22  33
 22 Fenland Albion               34   5   8  21  20  49  -29  23
 23 Forge Carpenters             34   5   5  24  22  54  -32  20
 24 FC United                    34   3   7  24  19  53  -34  16

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Masculine Town             34  24   4   6  56  26  +30  76
  2 Corby Hubris               34  19  10   5  42  23  +19  67
  3 Iberia Chenoworth          34  20   6   8  70  35  +35  66
  4 Chaker Town                34  19   8   7  55  42  +13  65
  5 Brookway Town              34  17  10   7  53  35  +18  61
  6 Belgrave                   34  16  12   6  48  24  +24  60
  7 Long Lake                  34  17   9   8  35  21  +14  60
  8 Gridlock                   34  15  11   8  51  33  +18  56
  9 Senway Town                34  15   8  11  41  33   +8  53
 10 Blaze                      34  15   8  11  50  48   +2  53
 11 Gridlock East              34  14   7  13  43  36   +7  49
 12 Stamper Road               34  13   8  13  48  42   +6  47
 13 Geoff United               34  11  12  11  38  44   -6  45
 14 Reckdale Town              34  13   5  16  52  51   +1  44
 15 Sutcroft Athletic          34  11  11  12  36  40   -4  44
 16 Vermillion Spite           34  10   9  15  37  47  -10  39
 17 Brindleton                 34   9   8  17  38  46   -8  35
 18 Haymaker Town              34  10   5  19  31  49  -18  35
 19 Nay Town                   34   8  10  16  28  52  -24  34
 20 Camwell Road               34   7  12  15  32  44  -12  33
 21 Ringway                    34   7  10  17  35  59  -24  31
 22 Inner-East Fairywrens      34   5  10  19  27  42  -15  25
 23 Lackerrun                  34   4   9  21  38  66  -28  21
 24 Getton Town                34   5   6  23  32  78  -46  21

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                     P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Stonegrave              34  21   8   5  39  18  +21  71
  2 Dartmouth Terriers      34  20   5   9  59  29  +30  65
  3 Courser                 34  19   7   8  42  25  +17  64
  4 Bellamy                 34  16  10   8  37  26  +11  58
  5 Grovebank               34  15  11   8  49  37  +12  56
  6 The Strongest           34  14   8  12  53  41  +12  50
  7 Harrington              34  13  10  11  44  37   +7  49
  8 Thratewood              34  13   7  14  42  41   +1  46
  9 Norton Road             34  12  10  12  33  40   -7  46
 10 Kommissar               34   9  16   9  45  44   +1  43
 11 Stekelenbright          34  12   7  15  29  32   -3  43
 12 Perrett                 34  11   9  14  28  30   -2  42
 13 Southriver              34  11   9  14  38  45   -7  42
 14 Barcastle Rovers        34  11   9  14  32  47  -15  42
 15 Tryst Athletic          34  10  11  13  42  44   -2  41
 16 Worthall                34  10  11  13  32  37   -5  41
 17 Virginia Treason        34   8  13  13  33  42   -9  37
 18 Huysegem                34   9   5  20  24  46  -22  32
 19 Ramsay                  34   7   9  18  37  54  -17  30
 20 Crisisbless Ermac       34   7   9  18  30  53  -23  30

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                  P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Mantlegrove          34  21   4   9  50  34  +16  67
  2 Morningstar          34  18   8   8  69  35  +34  62
  3 Diamondqueen         34  18   7   9  49  22  +27  61
  4 Bodkin Road          34  17   6  11  46  35  +11  57
  5 Riverkey             34  16   9   9  39  31   +8  57
  6 Downsparrow          34  16   8  10  66  40  +26  56
  7 Fischer              34  15  10   9  44  34  +10  55
  8 Greygate             34  13  13   8  44  36   +8  52
  9 Violence Tigers      34  14   7  13  43  44   -1  49
 10 East Slake           34  14   6  14  36  36   +0  48
 11 Sandrock             34  12  10  12  27  26   +1  46
 12 De La Patria         34  11   9  14  36  41   -5  42
 13 Norpike              34  11   9  14  41  53  -12  42
 14 Twelvetrees          34  11   8  15  27  33   -6  41
 15 Rookwall             34   9  10  15  33  44  -11  37
 16 Leo                  34   8  12  14  37  46   -9  36
 17 Pridehome            34   9   8  17  32  46  -14  35
 18 Starrian             34   8   9  17  30  46  -16  33
 19 Harbrook United      34   9   6  19  28  61  -33  33
 20 Markoni              34   7   7  20  36  70  -34  28

NFA CUP
Quarterfinals

Sabrefell Athletic 2-3 Maximum City
Maximum City 0-0 Sabrefell Athletic
Maximum City wins 3-2 on aggregate.

Both sides have it the way they like it at home; Athletic see a free-flowing affair with plenty of action at both ends on the red fields of the Barbarossa, scoring the first goal within just 47 seconds - Dorne streaking past Pennant and onto a long Sarracena pass, before her first touch lofts the ball over Kilgallon. The 18-year old might be considered something of a prodigy, but her naivete shows with how far she strayed off her line. That said, the Smiths strike back three times by the end of the first half, just hammering incessantly at Harry Grimm’s goal - Grimm is somewhat at fault for the second goal, beaten at his near post by Capulet, but saves a penalty from Calrek just four minutes later. Dorne scores her second in the 54th minute to restore some tension, but they can’t make it count. With City at home, they shut up shop and keep the match scoreless, to their advantage - they progress after two almost even games, but they’re deserved victors.

Cranequin Wanderers 4-1 Brookford Otters
Brookford Otters 0-1 Cranequin Wanderers
Cranequin Wanderers win 5-1 on aggregate.

Brookford, fighting against relegation in the First Division, face a Cranequin side consolidating in midtable. Russ Reucassel’s men utterly crush the Otters at home, despite a consolation goal - Gabby Queanbeyan’s free kick is nothing short of spectacular. Ultimately, the Wanderers are just too much for the Otters, and the difference in quality shows in the second half - Warner Garfield scored twice and Olga Pardew buries the Wanderers’ fourth in the ninetieth minute. Cranequin are well capable of finishing the job, too - the Otters look limp and defeated at home, and it’s only sterling work from Elena Ricks that keeps the score down - in the 68th minute, Pardew finishes Brookford off with a coolly-taken strike from just outside the box.

Franchise FC 0-1 Violence Chariots
Violence Chariots 5-2 Franchise FC
Violence Chariots win 6-2 on aggregate.

Not even close, as Violence took a fairly weak First Division side apart. On the second match, at least - they lead the first only through a single Nate Walker goal, and Franchise threatened repeatedly to equalise - 31-year old George Farlane, with a single Premiership goal to his name, forced Per Sammon into a couple of smart saves. But Violence were decisive in front of their own fans, and Walker netted another three - Farlane did pull back one goal, and another Premiership ‘veteran’ (six starts), the unfortunately-named rightback Mark Gelding, scored a neat half-volley, but at the end of the day the better team came through.

Sabrefell Moths 2-0 Bishop
Bishop 1-3 Sabrefell Moths
Sabrefell Moths win 5-1 on aggregate.

The Moths look extremely comfortable and composed as they coolly dispatch a First Division side - a good First Division side, and one chasing promotion, but at the end of the day the difference in quality is too much. Michael Kellard, formerly of Project +90, starts both matches alongside Oskar Montag - he nets a brace to sink Bishop at home, and one of the Moths’ three away. An outcome never really in doubt, but Bishop can count themselves lucky the result wasn’t worse. They did, at least, get a consolation - James Yorke was unlucky to get in the way of a low cross, and bundled it past Koeller into the net. But it only made the scoreline 4-1, and he didn’t take it too badly.

Semifinals

Maximum City 2-0 Cranequin Wanderers
Cranequin Wanderers 0-2 Maximum City
Maximum City wins 4-0 on aggregate.

City dominate the two legs, keeping Wanderers to just a single shot on target in 180 minutes. With three big clubs left in the competition, Cranequin were always going to be the one teams wanted to draw, and their lack of quality showed. The Smiths took comfortable control of the fixture in the first leg, and despite heavily rotating their squad for the away fixture, a second-string team were just as casual. It found rare starts for two players on opposite sides of the age spectrum - 18-year old Project +90 graduate Layland, and 34-year old Ceskian William Calrek. Both scored from half-volleys just within the box, and City were through.

Violence Chariots 1-0 Sabrefell Moths
Sabrefell Moths 1-1 Violence Chariots
Violence Chariots win 2-1 on aggregate.

A tight fixture in Sabrefell - both sides quietly wishing they’d drawn Cranequin. An uncharacteristically cagey match from both sides saw a 1-0 first leg victory for the Chariots - Nate Walker again chalking up a goal to become the Cup’s top scorer so far. He can’t get past a more solid Moths defence the next match, however, and is substituted in the 65th minute with a calf strain. By that point, the Moths have had a far better game up until the final third, where poor finishing or good goalkeeping has defied them, but they do have a goal from Rook Asquith - the Brenecian cutting inside before striking low and hard past Sammon. It looks as though it’s going to head to extra time, but cometh the hour, cometh the woman - the unlikely figure of Kelly Margrave rises, or rather slides in, to bundle in a low Leinster corner at the near post for the Chariots’ victory.

by **Nephara** » Wed Sep 10, 2014 2:53 pm

Crisisbless United are missing key defender Cheney Broadbelt through suspension - and for the first time all season, Synge is passed over to deputise, Cassandra Costell instead making her first Premiership start. “No wonder they didn’t trust that rat-faced bastard,” chuckles Rook Harm when the camera cuts to Synge looking dejected on the bench. “Fuckin’ goggle-eyed Gollum freak creature over there.” Whether the goggle-eyed Gollum freak creature could’ve done better or not is unknown, but either way the Moths sink them easily. Meanwhile, Chatswood’s good season continues at West Brinemouth. It’s a match Russ Austin describes as a ‘must-win’. His players evidently didn’t take the word to heart, as they look lively for precisely two minutes and thirty-five seconds; that’s how long it takes for Mikko Haagensen to put a long ball over the top, releasing Tanith Bryson, who coolly slots it under Cronin. The fight’s gone from the Gulls after that, and Haagensen chalks up another assist (this time for Beckett), before Calista Ferreira finishes the wretched Gulls off.

An absolutely massive win for Newrook City, who have had a fairly wretched season to date - drawn against Maximum City, with the Smiths at home, they manage to score the first goal - Kenneth Bardsley cannoning the ball off the post and in from ten yards. Unafraid, Maximum City is forced to open up, and despite the Rooks managing several incisive counterattacks that just fall apart at the end, it’s the Smiths that equalise - the always dangerous Capulet stroking neatly past Snowy Brennan. But after the break, the hosts are still left open in their search for a winner - and it lets Newrook find one, Bardsley scoring an impressive second as he takes a Brindle cross on the chest and volleys home, and young Rowan Gawain makes it 3-1 with a staggering free kick. There’s a good win for Crisisbless United, too - they’ve confounded their critics, despite little quality in the squad. Perhaps it’s a situation Ritter Town can sympathise with, but regardless it’s United that win on the day with a stunning 4-1 triumph. Meanwhile, West Brinemouth can defend pretty well, but their attack is nothing short of flaccid, and Freuen looks overstretched and underused - Violence make heavy weather of getting the goal, but once Logan Murdoch’s stuck it in the net, it’s game over by the 50-minute mark.

Ritter recover from their prior defeat by using Corvette as a stress-ball, an emphatic 3-0 victory featuring a brace from Felix Keller. Keller’s talent was clear from the start, but he often lacked confidence in the top flight, and seemed out of his depth, or at least comfort zone. Largely, that feeling’s gone this year - and he’ll like as not be headed for glory. Corvette, whose strikers are ten and eleven years older than Keller, must feel more than a little envious. Meanwhile, Brinemouth vs. Maximum City in the last few years has had something of an Irresistable Force vs. Immovable Object billing - this year more than most, as Maximum City took Brinemouth by storm in the reverse fixture, scoring four. This time the match works out far more to Daniel Brunet’s Plan A - Darek Norgen’s the best striker in the league at capitalising on defensive lapses, but there’s none to be found, and the Polarian’s marked out of the game - Eloise Parrish, meanwhile, bombs a cross over to Michael Keane cutting out of the other flank, who gets the ball where he wants it with his first touch and smashes it past Colbright with his second.

Another defeat for Corvette - this time it’s Parrhesia United who storm past them 4-0. They’ve lost six on the trot now, to an aggregate scoreline of 2-18. Still, with a Newrook City side that’s sinking fast next on the firing line, the Maulers have a good chance to end that record - the Rooks were held scoreless by Crisisbless United, beaten 1-0. Elsewhere in the relegation battle, Extreme Hills beat Maximum Rovers by the same scoreline, Meghan Sandmire’s strike seperating the teams. Despite a poor run of form that’s seen them winless in six, manager Rachael Monroe insists relegation isn’t on the cards. “I inherited this club in a rocky streak, a low point,” she tells the press, cunningly putting most of the blame on her predecessors, “but I believe that Rovers are on an upswing. We’ve had some bad results, but some good ones in the streak as well - a draw with Brinemouth, for one - and I can confidently predict we’ll finish above the drop with a couple matches to spare.” Russ Austin is similarly bullish, though in a far worse situation and probably with an inferior squad - a 1-0 win over the Moths thanks to a Freuen goal will likely prove crucial. The Ruentenbach international will need to break into form if the battling Gulls, a side propping up the table for most of the season, are to start a comeback. This match was, at least, a start.

As the season enters its final stages, it’s becoming increasingly clear the title is going one of two places - Larissa Garrotte’s Brinemouth, which would make them equal for the most successful modern-era side, or AFC Treason, bastion of the north. The latter slips, however, and slips badly - South Laithland pull ahead within seven minutes through the veteran Illich-Svitych, and they almost hold out for the win. But the Stags’ pressure proves too much, and Lily Schindler finally strokes home past Peterson - however, they can’t find a winner. It’s coming down to the wire.

South Laithland claw back another point as they hold the Moths to a draw, while Brinemouth choke against Extreme Hills; 3-2 up at half-time, it’s former Brinemouth man Croft Drinkwater who notches up a brace in the second half to put the Dockers away. Newrook City’s tailspin continues, as Jeorge Hawthorne’s Harriers make short work of them - water-carrier extraordinaire Bror Helmensun managing three assists, Rowan Gawain characteristically getting City’s only goal well against the run of play. Gawain, one senses, could be a Cormorant someday - but certainly nobody else in the squad. Augustine Houghton is furious with his squad, claiming they lack the bottle to get out of a relegation battle. The board, it seems, is furious with him - making the questionable choice to fire him. Assistant Karin Vermaelen takes temporary control.

In the return fixture between Crisisbless United and Brinemouth, one which easily took the award for ‘most humiliating defeat of the season’, the Dockers do manage to put paid to their opponents. It’s a close-run thing, though - the scores are level at 2-2 an hour in, but United just run out of steam. Houghton’s loss is keenly felt by Newrook, and they look demoralised in a very winnable game, a true six-pointer against the Gulls that catches them short. Gawain gives Sonya Blanchard an easy goal for the lead, but West Brinemouth get two rare goals through open play - Freuen scores once either side of the interval, and looks good value to complete his hattrick but Snowy Brennan denies him. Brennan has, in fact, proven herself a Premiership-quality goalkeeper - though she’s often called upon by a weak defence. Meanwhile, in Sabrefell, Athletic crush the Moths 3-0. Rachel Weixelbraun’s side have been extensively overhauled to play exciting, aggressive football, but they’ve not managed so much of the results. Still - things are improving for them, and they do manage some good moments, just that Peter Oliver had a pretty nightmarish seventy minutes before finally being pulled for Kellard. The hosts, however, run out deserved winners.

Treason slip up with a second draw in as many matches - compounded by two Brinemouth victories in that time. It is, surprisingly, North Laithland who gum up the works - the Spiders haven’t been relevant in a long time this season. Judith Keller, almost certainly to be fired when the season ends, said that the fine counter-attacking performance truly reflected what she was trying to set in motion at the club. Be that as it may, the Spiders were lucky to have a point. On the other side of Treason, Chatswood have better luck, jumping ruthlessly up and down on AFC Integabad. Bryson notched up a first-half hattrick, and though Integabad did eventually get a consolation goal through Haas it’s not even close, 5-1 by the end. It’s part of a very good matchday for the Gulls - the Panthers, Harriers and Southrons all lose, and Newrook can only get a point at Vermillion. It’s a good result for City, but can’t begin to match West Brinemouth’s - Russ Austin’s side win their third match in three games, managing to conquer Maximum City 2-1. It’s a victory Austin describes as ‘astounding, a real capstone on our success these past couple weeks’. Stirring words, but he might be stretching a bit when he states it ‘comes a step closer to confirming our survival, but I don’t think any of us ever seriously thought we’d be relegated’. Yeah, mate, sure.

Karin Vermaelen manages to put some glory on her resume with a 2-0 win over South Laithland - a vital one, at that. It’s very likely one that will prove fatal to the Southrons, as they still have the Smiths and Quakers to contend with in their last three games. Things hardly look rosy for Newrook, either - they’re to face powerful Athletic, the confident River, and the inconvenient North Laithland. Speaking of the devil, they continue to be vaguely annoying to other, better teams, netting thrice in the last fifteen minutes to deny the Moths what looked like a cruisy win. On the touchlines, Rachel Weixelbraun spends practically the entire time toying absently on her scarf - by the end, she seems ready to throttle herself with it. West Brinemouth can’t force a win against a Goodfeather team desperate to finish strong and make the Globe Cup, but yet again it’s Freuen who puts an equaliser past Willans - Goodfeather played better, but couldn’t press their advantage more than a single goal of their own.

The Rovers are saving their worst form for the worst time - they look utterly pathetic against a flamboyant, aggressive, high-pressing Moths team. West Brinemouth compound that issue with, yes, another win - this one, to be fair, comes against a Crisisbless United side that is hardly the firmest opposition. The Harriers also manage a good win over the never-consistent Maulers - survival might just be doable, but they’ll need a miracle against Brinemouth, in Brinemouth, next match. At the other end of the table, Chatswood reinforce their UICA credentials with a solid 2-0 victory over Crisisbless at home - Mikko Haagensen is often cited as their greatest asset, but others in the squad have also risen admirably to the challenge, Beckett, Bryson and Stubbs chief among them.

West Brinemouth have escaped. With a 1-0 victory over a tired, jaded Corvette, they’ve pulled off the great escape. Barring, of course, defeat and a Panthers victory on the final day, with a swing of goal difference of thirteen. The Rovers have also escaped, pulling out a complete performance against Ritter Town - Rainer Hildebrandt does gift Sander Cascronin what is, then, an equaliser, but goals from Spellmeyer and Ashworth give the Rovers a victory that ensures their well-deserved safety. Crisisbless United are safe as well, managing an unlikely clean sheet in a muted 1-0 victory over Vermillion. Integabad managing (however impressively) only a scoreless draw against the Moths, Newrook drawing River, South Laithland’s demolition by Goodfeather and the Harriers’ defeat to Brinemouth means that, barring that aforementioned mathematical miracle, the bottom four have been confirmed.
All the drama for this season, then, happens at the top of the table. Brinemouth and Treason both won decisively, meaning that Treason are two points ahead, but behind on goal difference. Both sides have tough fixtures - Treason host Crisisbless, while crosstown rivals Chatswood host Brinemouth. Emery Lineker, hosting a fairly conventional set of questions after a 1-0 defeat to Rovers, was asked whether she’d attempt to throw the match to spite her rivals. She responded quite calmly by standing, picking up the microphone, and viciously throwing it with impressive accuracy at the unlucky journalist, catching him on the forehead. In related information, Lineker will be viewing the final match of the season from the stands - assistant Shay Hurst will look to preside over an important match. After all, the Haagensen-inspired Woodsmen can still finish within the UICA places if they do better than those above them. Crisisbless, as mentioned, will look to hold onto third against Treason. The Chariots face the Rovers who, on the face of it, shouldn’t be too rough, but a team that’s just beaten Chatswood and held Brinemouth to a 4-4 draw can’t be underestimated. Goodfeather and Maximum, meanwhile, both have difficult fixtures in Sabrefell - hosted by Athletic and River respectively. City will need someone to slip up.

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 AFC Treason              45  28  11   6  81  34  +47  95  CC
  2 Brinemouth               45  28   9   8  98  50  +48  93  CC
  3 Crisisbless              45  22  10  13  75  52  +23  76
  4 Violence Chariots        45  21  12  12  71  52  +19  75
  5 Goodfeather FC           45  20  14  11  76  57  +19  74
  6 Maximum City             45  21  11  13  53  37  +16  74
  7 Chatswood                45  19  16  10  67  54  +13  73
  8 Sabrefell Athletic       45  20   8  17  74  56  +18  68
  9 Parrhesia United         45  19  11  15  64  60   +4  68
 10 Sabrefell Moths          45  18  12  15  61  54   +7  66
 11 Raven River              45  16  15  14  55  50   +5  63
 12 Vermillion Rage          45  17  11  17  72  57  +15  62
 13 Extreme Hills            45  15  13  17  57  70  -13  58
 14 North Laithland          45  13  18  14  56  56   +0  57
 15 Chenoworth Rovers        45  14  15  16  46  47   -1  57
 16 Corvette Maulers         45  14  11  20  54  70  -16  53
 17 Ritter Town              45  13  12  20  50  71  -21  51
 18 Crisisbless United       45  13  11  21  51  81  -30  50
 19 Maximum Rovers           45  12  12  21  43  57  -14  48
 20 West Brinemouth          45  13   8  24  39  59  -20  47
 21 AFC Integabad            45  10  14  21  30  63  -33  44
 22 Newrook City             45  11  10  24  46  65  -19  43  R
 23 Chenoworth Harriers      45  11   9  25  36  72  -36  42  R
 24 South Laithland          45   8  15  22  31  62  -31  39  R

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Southfell United           45  28   9   8  85  59  +26  93  Champions
  2 Cypher Town                45  25  12   8  79  41  +38  87  P
  3 Leichhardt                 45  26   9  10  62  25  +37  87  P
  4 Iron City                  45  25   7  13  49  29  +20  82
  5 Coret Hawks                45  22  13  10  66  29  +37  79
  6 Starling                   45  21  10  14  63  41  +22  73
  7 Bishop                     45  21   9  15  57  42  +15  72
  8 Martella Jazz              45  21   7  17  69  67   +2  70
  9 Cranequin City             45  17  15  13  60  53   +7  66
 10 Cranequin Wanderers        45  16  16  13  54  48   +6  64
 11 Creed United               45  17  12  16  59  56   +3  63
 12 Rochford                   45  15  16  14  44  45   -1  61
 13 Vermillion Wanderers       45  17  10  18  62  64   -2  61
 14 AFC Serpentine             45  17  10  18  53  63  -10  61
 15 Sutcroft                   45  14  13  18  46  52   -6  55
 16 West Hook                  45  13  15  17  40  51  -11  54
 17 Leopolis Hatemongers       45  11  15  19  49  64  -15  48
 18 Mainstream Fist            45  12  11  22  53  61   -8  47
 19 AFC Shale                  45  11  14  20  37  53  -16  47
 20 Franchise FC               45  11  14  20  40  59  -19  47
 21 Dross Rovers               45  11  10  24  42  66  -24  43  R
 22 Crisisbless Athletic       45  10  12  23  35  68  -33  42  R
 23 Rhagant Schadenfreude      45   9  13  23  32  58  -26  40  R
 24 Brookford Otters           45  10   8  27  41  83  -42  38  R

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Locksley                     45  29  10   6  98  39  +59  97  Champions
  2 Sheridan                     45  24   8  13  56  29  +27  80
  3 Hackett                      45  23  11  11  56  39  +17  80
  4 South Parrhesia              45  24   7  14  60  52   +8  79
  5 North Sabrefell              45  22  12  11  69  40  +29  78
  6 Crossroads Town              45  21  14  10  60  51   +9  77
  7 Ox River United              45  21  12  12  48  34  +14  75
  8 Strephonage                  45  21  11  13  59  39  +20  74
  9 Iron United                  45  19  14  12  51  37  +14  71
 10 East Laithland Harriers      45  19  12  14  48  40   +8  69
 11 Boleyn Town                  45  18  11  16  47  39   +8  65
 12 South Brill                  45  20   5  20  52  51   +1  65
 13 North Dubstep                45  18  10  17  54  55   -1  64
 14 Rushe United                 45  18  10  17  66  69   -3  64
 15 Coret Rovers                 45  18   8  19  55  51   +4  62
 16 Project +90                  45  17  10  18  57  68  -11  61
 17 Armstrong                    45  14  17  14  47  37  +10  59
 18 Falston Town                 45  14  14  17  49  67  -18  56
 19 Gridlock Rovers              45  14   8  23  40  62  -22  50
 20 Kensey Town                  45  10  12  23  52  77  -25  42
 21 Dubstep Rangers              45   9  14  22  32  62  -30  41
 22 Fenland Albion               45   6  12  27  27  63  -36  30  R
 23 Forge Carpenters             45   6  10  29  31  69  -38  28  R
 24 FC United                    45   3  12  30  26  70  -44  21  R

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For   Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Masculine Town             45  31   6   8  74   30  +44  99  Champions
  2 Iberia Chenoworth          45  28   8   9  91   44  +47  92  P
  3 Belgrave                   45  24  13   8  64   29  +35  85  P
  4 Corby Hubris               45  23  15   7  51   30  +21  84  P
  5 Chaker Town                45  22  13  10  63   49  +14  79
  6 Long Lake                  45  21  13  11  48   29  +19  76
  7 Brookway Town              45  20  14  11  66   47  +19  74
  8 Blaze                      45  21  10  14  67   61   +6  73
  9 Senway Town                45  20  12  13  55   45  +10  72
 10 Gridlock                   45  19  14  12  59   41  +18  71
 11 Stamper Road               45  19  10  16  68   57  +11  67
 12 Geoff United               45  15  15  15  47   54   -7  60
 13 Reckdale Town              45  17   8  20  64   67   -3  59
 14 Gridlock East              45  15  11  19  54   57   -3  56
 15 Brindleton                 45  15  10  20  51   55   -4  55
 16 Vermillion Spite           45  14  11  20  53   62   -9  53
 17 Sutcroft Athletic          45  14  11  20  44   58  -14  53
 18 Camwell Road               45  12  13  20  47   59  -12  49
 19 Nay Town                   45  12  13  20  39   63  -24  49
 20 Ringway                    45  10  13  22  46   68  -22  43
 21 Haymaker Town              45  10  12  23  36   62  -26  42
 22 Inner-East Fairywrens      45   7  13  25  36   59  -23  34  R
 23 Lackerrun                  45   6  11  28  47   87  -40  29  R
 24 Getton Town                45   6   9  30  44  101  -57  27  R

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                     P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Stonegrave              38  22  10   6  42  20  +22  76  P
  2 Courser                 38  22   8   8  48  26  +22  74
  3 Dartmouth Terriers      38  22   6  10  65  33  +32  72
  4 The Strongest           38  18   8  12  61  44  +17  62
  5 Bellamy                 38  16  13   9  40  30  +10  61
  6 Grovebank               38  16  11  11  52  42  +10  59
  7 Harrington              38  15  11  12  51  42   +9  56
  8 Thratewood              38  15   9  14  50  45   +5  54
  9 Stekelenbright          38  14   8  16  36  36   +0  50
 10 Norton Road             38  13  11  14  35  42   -7  50
 11 Kommissar               38  11  16  11  50  50   +0  49
 12 Barcastle Rovers        38  13  10  15  38  52  -14  49
 13 Tryst Athletic          38  12  12  14  46  49   -3  48
 14 Southriver              38  13   9  16  44  50   -6  48
 15 Perrett                 38  12  10  16  31  35   -4  46
 16 Worthall                38  11  11  16  34  43   -9  44
 17 Virginia Treason        38   8  14  16  34  48  -14  38
 18 Crisisbless Ermac       38   9   9  20  34  57  -23  36
 19 Ramsay                  38   8  10  20  40  60  -20  34
 20 Huysegem                38   9   6  23  26  53  -27  33

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                  P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Mantlegrove          38  22   5  11  55  42  +13  71  Champions
  2 Diamondqueen         38  20   7  11  54  26  +28  67
  3 Morningstar          38  18  11   9  74  43  +31  65
  4 Riverkey             38  17  12   9  43  34   +9  63
  5 Downsparrow          38  17  11  10  72  43  +29  62
  6 Bodkin Road          38  18   7  13  49  39  +10  61
  7 Greygate             38  15  14   9  50  41   +9  59
  8 Fischer              38  16  11  11  47  39   +8  59
  9 East Slake           38  17   6  15  41  39   +2  57
 10 Sandrock             38  15  10  13  30  27   +3  55
 11 De La Patria         38  13  11  14  44  45   -1  50
 12 Violence Tigers      38  14   8  16  44  50   -6  50
 13 Rookwall             38  12  11  15  42  47   -5  47
 14 Twelvetrees          38  12   9  17  32  38   -6  45
 15 Norpike              38  11  12  15  42  56  -14  45
 16 Leo                  38  10  14  14  44  50   -6  44
 17 Pridehome            38   9  10  19  35  52  -17  37
 18 Harbrook United      38   9   9  20  30  64  -34  36
 19 Starrian             38   8  11  19  35  56  -21  35
 20 Markoni              38   9   7  22  45  77  -32  34

NFA CUP FINAL

Maximum City vs. Violence Chariots

Maximum City Lineup: 30 - Kilgallon; 5 - Walker (c), 2 - Bernard, 3 - Pennant, 18 - Hansson; 8 - Keane, 4 - Carragher, 20 - Donagh, 11 - Parrish; 13 - Kite, 9 - Capulet
Nobody can accuse the Smiths of having gotten here the easy way. They were drawn against fierce rivals AFC Treason in the very first round (that contained Premiership clubs, at least); it took penalties to seperate them. An easier draw pit them against Project +90 in the next round, who they defeated 1-0 in a lively match, before they were brought up against Raven River. Yet again, it took penalties after a 0-0 draw, but City entered the quarterfinals not having conceded. A solid victory over Sabrefell Athletic in the quarterfinals followed - 3-2 on aggregate, City narrowly the better side in both fixtures. After all of that, perhaps it was only just they were drawn against Cranequin in the semi-finals, the recently-relegated First Division side by far the weakest team of the final four. Making short work of them, they’re worthy competitors in the Final, hoping to pip the Chariots both here and to UICA.
The Smiths have very nearly picked a first-choice lineup. Kilgallon’s been designated Cup goalkeeper since the very start, while Markos Thames is suspended - leaving out-of-favour club captain Audioslav Jack Walker at rightback..

Violence Chariots Lineup: 25 - Sammon; 2 - Kellen, 20 - Hikari, 5 - Riviello, 3 - Reid; 18 - Hertz, 8 - Murdoch, 4 - Margrave, 11 - Leinster; 15 - Ritter, 9 - Walker
The Chariots have a similar story - drawn against Premiership opposition in every round but the quarterfinal, they’ve been propelled by Nate Walker’s outstanding form - he’s only equal second-highest scorer of the tournament, but since Cranequin’s Melissa Sanders got six of her goals against Conference side Downsparrow in an 8-1 victory, it’s not really a discredit to Walker. Their campaign began with a 3-2 victory over Parrhesia after extra time, but after that close shave (in which Parrhesia arguably looked the better side) they had a much more comfortable victory over Corvette, 2-1. It took extra time yet again to beat West Brinemouth, and they looked poor in the away leg against Franchise FC (a club who have only narrowly avoided the drop from the First Division). However, they picked themselves up, ultimately beat Franchise 6-2 on aggregate, before edging Sabrefell Moths 2-1 over both legs in a tense, tight affair.
The Chariots do have the luxury of a full-strength side, apart from the obligatory backup goalkeeper between the sticks. Annoyingly, that means there’s two Walkers on the pitch, both foreign.

The match kicks off, as usual, at a packed Farham Arena - Violence carry the slightly larger crowd due to the club sharing the city, but it’s by no means a home fixture by proxy. Early on, it’s the Chariots that have the edge all over the pitch - both team’s 4-4-2 formations leave them going man-to-man, and it’s down the right especially that Stanislava Hertz gets some joy against Parrish and Hansson. In fact, Violence think they take the lead in the seventh minute when Ritter gets on the end of a hooked Hertz cross and heads past Kilgallon - it’s called, rightfully, offside. But after a couple more warning shots, and a couple good saves from Kilgallon, they finally get their goal in the 22nd minute - another incisive long ball from Hertz loosed Walker, who raced past City’s aging back line, rounded Kilgallon and smashed the ball in, despite a desperate slide from the other Walker to try to block it.

City sharpened up after that, and soon had their first shot on target - it wasn’t a good one, however, Kite tamely heading straight at Sammon. Kite puts a lot more venom into her second strike, which Sammon stretches well to reach but fumbles, and Chariot hearts are in their mouths until Riviello scrambles it away. The rest of the half passes tensely and evenly - Capulet rifles a shot against a post at one end, Kilgallon’s forced into another good few saves at the other.

In the second half, though, it’s clearly City who got the better team talk - they put their foot directly on the accelerator, take the game in a vice-grip and don’t let go. The challenge seems too much for young leftback Darren Reid - after getting repeatedly beasted by Keane, Pearce Naylor is brought on in his stead in the 56th minute, and fares significantly better. It’s not enough to stop a goal, though - and it’s one that’s been coming. It’s a neat play that does it - Eloise Parrish flicks it over the head of Kellen to Kite, who holds back Riviello and flicks it on with her head - Parrish runs onto it and fires low, and hard, past Sammon.

Sammon’s an erratic goalkeeper at the best of times, but he rises to the challenge for the last twenty minutes. City continue to pile on the heat, but his best attribute, his reflexes, come to the Chariots’ rescue more than once. An agile save denies Capulet, while a Keane shot that tries to sneak in at the far post is pushed onto the post with his fingertips. And as the clock wears on towards extra time, it’s actually the Chariots that nearly snatch it at the death - a long ball from Leinster, who’d otherwise had a quiet game, allowed Ritter to play a forward pass to Walker. It was just a metre overhit, and Kilgallon managed to get to it first. Still - that could’ve made all the difference.

It didn’t, though, and so on to extra time. The match was, from now, dead even - both sides seemed tired and jaded, but bitterly determined to hold on through penalties. Both sides made substitutions to inject some energy, but while City’s were both defensive (Austen and Groves replaced Pennant and Hansson), Gareth Sumner was more adventurous with his own choice - the all-rounder Keller on for the chiefly defensive Margrave. And it was that that ultimately made the difference. Keller did have the defensive ability to wrest the ball from a sleepy Donagh in midfield, but Margrave wouldn’t have started a run forward themselves - when Keller did lay it off, it was to play Leinster past Jack Walker. With both strikers heavily marked down, Leinster’s centre was low and strong - and ultimately it was local hero Logan Murdoch running into the box who caught it sweetly with his right boot, smashing it into the top right.

City tried to make a comeback, as Čalrek came on for the weary Capulet. And the veteran Cesk did find some joy, rifling a low shot only just wide in the 113th minute. But just two minutes after that, the nail would be hammered into City’s coffin, as playmaker Donagh was sent off for a second caution - they couldn’t come back from that. And so for the first time, Violence Chariots lift the Cup. They might be up for a hell of a fight in the league to keep a hold on their UICA place, but silverware is always worth the effort.

FINAL SCORE
Maximum City 1-1 Violence Chariots (1-2 AET)

by **Nephara** » Fri Sep 19, 2014 4:43 pm

FINAL DAY FIXTURES

Chatswood vs. Brinemouth
Chatswood (4-4-2 diamond): 1 - Shrike; 2 - Firth, 6 - Flynn, 5 - Stubbs, 3 - Dundalk; 4 - Haagensen; 12 - Ferreira, 11 - Conway; 10 - Beckett (c); 7 - Charlemagne, 9 - Bryson
Brinemouth (4-3-3): 1 - Colbright; 6 - Horæk, 3 - Stewart, 5 - Blackstock; 4 - Clough; 12 - Mathias, 17 - Breton, 23 - Ashdown; 8 - Watt (c), 10 - Schwarzenegger, 13 - Musni
What’s At Stake: If Brinemouth can win, and Treason don’t, the title is theirs. Chatswood, for their part, can qualify for the Globe Cup with victory here and a couple of their competitors slipping up. Brinemouth have suffered an injury to key striker Darek Norgen at the worst time possible, and outspoken midfielder Christon is suspended - that said, Chatswood’s manager is suspended, so it evens out.

West Brinemouth vs. Chenoworth Harriers
West Brinemouth (4-2-3-1): 1 - Cronin; 23 - Skelton, 5 - Chaucer (c), 21 - Finch, 3 - Holden; 13 - Anderton, 6 - Mueller; 8 - Carrick, 19 - Jorgan, 15 - Curtis; 9 - Freuen
Chenoworth Harriers (4-2-3-1): 1 - King; 17 - Keating, 5 - Monroe (c), 23 - Markus, 2 - Byron; 18 - Mallory, 6 - Edmonds; 8 - Brun, 7 - Lauren, 16 - Buckingham; 12 - Helmensun
What’s At Stake: Had this match happened a week or two ago, it would’ve been a crucial six-pointer. As it stands, it’s meaningless - should the Gulls lose and Integabad win, they’ll draw level on points, but there’s a goal difference gap between them of thirteen. The Gulls are safe, the Harriers are down, no matter what.

Violence Chariots vs. Chenoworth Rovers
Violence Chariots (4-4-2): 1 - Thrace; 2 - Kellen, 20 - Hikari, 5 - Riviello, 3 - Reid; 18 - Hertz, 8 - Murdoch, 4 - Margrave, 11 - Leinster; 15 - Ritter (c), 9 - Walker
Chenoworth Rovers (4-4-2 diamond): 1 - Burnley; 2 - Breen, 5 - Lovelock, 13 - Steinberg, 19 - Brennan; 6 - Parr (c); 4 - Damkjaer, 11 - Mallory; 8 - Penthall; 9 - Kinsman, 15 - Rogalski
What’s At Stake: Violence need a result to make sure of staying in the Globe Cup places, but the Rovers have nothing to play for. Both teams more or less have full-strength sides, so the Rovers evidently have no plans to go easy on their opponents.

Vermillion Rage vs. Corvette Maulers
Vermillion Rage (3-4-3): 1 - Rosenfeld; 5 - Dalglish, 2 - Madden, 20 - Jonas-Anderson; 22 - Tremmel, 15 - Barrett, 6 - Marlowe, 13 - Avery; 19 - Orion, 14 - Havelund, 7 - Lazuli
Corvette Maulers (4-4-2): 12 - Veldt; 2 - Kilgallon, 5 - Matos, 3 - Brosque (c), 19 - Laxenburg; 7 - Rafferty, 18 - Somner, 6 - Halloran, 13 - Holt; 15 - Fletcher, 21 - Robertson
What’s At Stake: Nothing, and both teams have made plenty of changes. Vermillion’s are largely enforced through injury - a Corvette side with a clean bill of health are just taking the chance to rotate.

AFC Treason vs. Crisisbless
AFC Treason (4-4-2): 1 - Miller; 2 - Grana, 12 - Tachibana, 4 - Marlowe, 3 - Stokes (c); 11 - Harper, 21 - Flaccus, 16 - Acosta, 13 - Connacht; 10 - Schindler, 9 - Schneider
Crisisbless (4-4-2 diamond): 1 - Ballard; 2 - Berenger, 3 - Greig, 5 - Finnan (c), 31 - Thrush; 6 - Brandon; 8 - Knutsen, 20 - St. Cleer; 7 - Khan; 10 - Keast, 9 - Sternberg
What’s At Stake: Everything. The Stags win here and they’ve secured the title - anything less opens the way for Brinemouth, if they win at Chatswood. Crisisbless need a result here if they’re to make sure of Globe Cup qualification. Everything is on the line, both sides have picked full-strength squads… barring the necessity through injury for Crisisbless to put 19-year old academy graduate Thrush at leftback.

South Laithland vs. Crisisbless United
South Laithland (4-4-2): 1 - Peterson; 4 - Pryde, 3 - Brace, 5 - Drummond, 2 - Cheney; 21 - Webber, 8 - Dashwood, 19 - Sturrock, 11 - Ashdown; 10 - Illich-Svitych, 20 - Markosian
Crisisbless United (4-3-3): 1 - Swallowtail; 17 - Westerveld, 6 - Gannon, 23 - Costell, 3 - Thistlewood; 8 - Chaucer, 4 - Rhinestone (c), 11 - Strachan; 21 - Mueller, 9 - Rourke, 14 - Moltke
What’s At Stake: Nothing, bar the Southrons have the chance to avoid the wooden spoon if they win and the Harriers lose. The Southrons have gone for a full-strength lineup - United have a couple changes forced on them, but are taking the opportunity to blood Westerveld a little more.

Sabrefell Moths vs. Extreme Hills
Sabrefell Moths (4-4-2): 12 - Koeller; 2 - Kavanagh, 5 - Gallagher, 3 - Yorke, 21 - Beck; 7 - Snowden, 4 - Martell, 8 - Penrooke (c), 19 - Richter; 10 - Montag, 22 - Kellard
Extreme Hills (4-4-2): 1 - Kennedy; 2 - Rorschach (c), 13 - Fowler, 6 - Coronet, 18 - Hesselink; 23 - Rivers, 13 - Layland, 4 - Oakwood, 11 - Farham; 10 - Sandmire, 12 - Garrard
What’s At Stake: The Moths have the chance to overtake local rivals Athletic. Extreme Hills have the chance to finish above nearby North Laithland, which would be really funny. Bar pride, nothing’s at stake, but the Moths’ injury troubles have plagued them all season, while the Hills aren’t exactly unscathed either.

Sabrefell Athletic vs. Goodfeather FC
Sabrefell Athletic (4-2-3-1): 1 - Seward; 21 - Hargreave, 6 - Reagan, 5 - Breen, 18 - Bowyer; 15 - Cilic (c), 19 - Sarracena; 12 - Eastway, 7 - Montreal, 13 - Belgrave; 10 - Dorne
Goodfeather FC (3-5-2): 1 - Willans (c); 5 - Kelly, 2 - Stock, 3 - Ritter; 16 - Kendall, 21 - Wrexham, 4 - Loxley, 15 - Pearce, 11 - Bottlegreen; 13 - Rettinger, 9 - Borussia
What’s At Stake: Goodfeather need to win to ensure their Globe Cup place - they’ll have to do that missing Monroe, one of their best defenders, and Ironside, their most incisive striker. Athletic have nothing to play for.

Ritter Town vs. AFC Integabad
Ritter Town (4-4-2): 1 - Cunningham; 13 - Lucan, 4 - Killen, 17 - Rinehart, 16 - Cardiff; 7 - Wolfgang, 15 - Bellamy, 8 - Farrell, 11 - Callan (c); 18 - Harrington, 10 - Keller
AFC Integabad (4-3-3): 20 - Morder; 22 - Reisinger, 3 - Luxembourg, 4 - Teuton, 15 - Mordred; 6 - Mannheim (c), 21 - Klose, 8 - Rorschach; 7 - Sepp, 9 - Fischer, 11 - Haas
What’s At Stake: AFC Integabad need to knuckle down, believe in themselves, and bootstrap their way to a 12-0 victory while hoping West Brinemouth lose. Failing that, they’re relegated. What doesn’t help is the fact that their goalkeeper, von Specta, is injured - but other than that, both clubs can take, for the most part, their best squads.

Raven River vs. Maximum City
Raven River (4-4-2 diamond): 1 - Fitzmarten (c); 19 - Milligan, 4 - Andi Maria, 5 - Deighton, 17 - Portadown; 13 - Danton; 8 - Lundgren, 11 - Brind; 16 - Vaughan; 21 - Strauss, 9 - Kenway
Maximum City (4-4-2): 1 - Jelić; 22 - Thames, 2 - Bernard, 3 - Pennant, 18 - Hansson; 8 - Keane, 4 - Carragher (c), 20 - Donagh, 11 - Parrish; 13 - Kite, 9 - Capulet
What’s At Stake: The Smiths need a win, and one of the three clubs above them to slip up, to reach the Globe Cup. River, who’ve never come close to reaching the heights of last season, are steady midtable no matter what.

Parrhesia United vs. Maximum Rovers
Parrhesia United (4-3-3): 1 - Hennessey; 2 - Keller, 6 - Valiant, 5 - Alabaster, 3 - Sullivan; 11 - Camden (c), 16 - Banks, 8 - Sebastian; 7 - Rivers, 10 - Monti, 13 - Mullery
Maximum Rovers (4-4-2): 21 - Middleton; 4 - Keller, 5 - Hildebrandt, 31 - Haukmann, 6 - Foster; 16 - Spellmeyer, 13 - Warwick, 8 - Marr (c), 12 - Lysander; 7 - Drake, 9 - Ashworth
What’s At Stake: It’s a dead rubber, but Rovers can at least reach The Magic Fifty Point Mark to restore some credibility to their rapidly-diminishing Established Premiership Team credentials. The primary change is Rovers deciding to hand young Johan Haukmann his first start in the heart of defence.

North Laithland vs. Newrook City
North Laithland (4-2-3-1): 1 - Pence; 21 - Allbeck, 5 - Pearce (c), 2 - Forrester; 8 - Candell, 15 - Martyn; 20 - Mantell, 7 - Sedgwick, 13 - Svardaskar; 9 - Arragne
Newrook City (4-4-2 diamond): 12 - Brennan; 6 - Brindle, 18 - Seward, 5 - Chadwick, 2 - Hartley; 4 - Keenan (c); 8 - Blanchard, 13 - Thorn; 11 - Gawain; 9 - Cromwell, 7 - Bardsley
What’s At Stake: North Laithland can make absolutely sure Judith Keller is sacked if they suffer an embarrassing defeat. Newrook City can raise Gawain’s retail price when he leaves their sinking ship if he does well. That’s about it.

As per usual, a simultaneous kickoff - from the listless crowd at the Bluegrass hailing the end to a poor season against relegated opposition, to the battle in the Gauntlet with everything at stake. But the most energetic start is to be found in Dross - South Laithland surprisingly getting off to a lightning-quick start. It’s Morgan Ashdown, one of the squad’s few highlights this season, who carves out a chance on a platter for both strikers with a low cross after just 55 seconds - Illich-Svitych can’t get down in time, but Cheney Markosian can, and Swallowtail can’t do much about it, left terribly exposed by his defence. 1-0 to South Laithland. Soon after, there was another unlikely source for a goal - yes, it was South Laithland again. This time Ashdown’s chip to Illich-Svitych was flicked straight back in her path, and she buried the strike with her left boot. Swallowtail should’ve done better. It looks like South Laithland are going to romp to a final-day victory. Parrhesia are also off to a sweeping start, but haven’t turned their dominance into goals yet - Adrian Middleton is furious with his defence. By this point, of course, both rightbacks named Keller have a shot on target - but neither’s come to anything.

But of the matches in which something is at stake, they’re all too tight to call. Chatswood are, predictably enough, keeping very compact and very organised, and Brinemouth are without their best striker. Crisisbless, meanwhile, have had the better of the match so far, but it takes eleven minutes for them to get a shot on target - Diandra Ballard easily deals with Keast’s shot, which comes fast but at a comfortable height. City, meanwhile, are off to a slow start - and Raven River nearly make them pay for it. But Jelic manages a stunning double save at close range from Daniella Strauss, who can’t believe she’s missed. And yet there is a goal soon afterwards - entirely against the run of play, of course, but strikers like Capulet will capitalise on any edge. A scrappy Keane cross comes off Andi Maria’s thigh, and Capulet sneaks between the centrebacks and pokes past Fitzmarten. As it stands, it gives them the edge in the UICA battle. The Chariots nearly take the lead against Chenoworth, but Nate Walker stumbles uncharacteristically in possession and can’t put the ball in the net. Robyn Burnley, who’s been rather suspect in goal for the Rovers this season, breathes a sigh of relief. Meanwhile, Parrhesia finally makes their breakthrough after a period of sustained dominance - Mullery rattling a strike in off the crossbar. It’s nothing more than they deserve.

Finally, a decisive goal in the title battle - AFC Treason catch Crisisbless overextended, and after passing them off the pitch as they fall back, Josephus Flaccus gets possession on the edge of the box, with a clear shot on goal. He makes no mistake - the shot is inch-perfect, just past Ballard’s fingertips at full stretch. Ballard just looks resigned - she couldn’t really have done better. Bournemouth, however, is incandescent on the sidelines. West Brinemouth’s defence are also left red-faced, though more through embarrassment than rage - the Harriers rightback, Keating, is left totally unmarked for a corner, and literally chests the ball at an empty net, clumsily taking a swing at it with his right boot to get it over the line. Not exactly the prettiest goal, but they all count.

The Maulers and Rage have both been pretty dire, but they’ve at least had the right idea most of the time - just not the execution. Christian Laxenburg’s cross is the simplest thing in the world, however, at the perfect height, and Fletcher just slips behind Jonas-Anderson and heads in. By contrast, South Laithland’s third goal of the match is a thing of beauty - a training-ground sort of deal from a set piece, as the Laithlanders simply pass around the Crisisbless United wall, their defenders, and ultimately their goalkeeper in a quick set of five sharp passes. Illich-Svitych can’t miss. He doesn’t.

Brinemouth already have a lot of troubles, but it gets worse in the 41st minute - Chatswood with a fine display of route one football. Rhys Dundalk hurls a throw-in at Brinemouth’s penalty area - there’s a scrap, it’s cleared only as far as Haagensen, who strikes crisply past Colbright. Haagensen’s been Chatswood’s best player this season, and possibly the best signing - it’s only right he score eventually, and this is his first league goal of the season. But Chatswood’s competition for the UICA places gets tougher soon afterwards - Georgia Kite heads home City’s second of the match past River, and soon afterwards Andrey Rettinger volleys past Seb Seward to put the Quakers in the lead. And with that, the first half is over - and the Stags are forty-five minutes away from the title.

HALF-TIME
Chatswood 1-0 Brinemouth
Chatswood are uncharacteristically standing off their opponents, and it’s paying dividends by denying Brinemouth the space they need. The Dockers need to pick up the pace.

West Brinemouth 0-1 Chenoworth Harriers
A boring match with a boring goal. The Gulls are letting their relief at survival show.

Violence Chariots 0-0 Chenoworth Rovers
The Chariots look weary and off the pace, the Rovers have shown a couple flashes of inspiration but have nothing to show for it. Chariots should really be one up, and they need a result here.

Vermillion Rage 0-1 Corvette Maulers
Both sides look off their game, but Leigh Fletcher can always be relied upon to stick it in the back of the net.

AFC Treason 1-0 Crisisbless
A very even game, Treason very narrowly the better side, but they don’t look like conceding unless Crisisbless can get something extra.

South Laithland 3-0 Crisisbless United
Crisisbless United don’t even look unmotivated, they’re just getting a right thrashing. South Laithland are not in the mood for mercy, showing the hunger they really needed to exhibit a couple of months ago.

Sabrefell Moths 0-0 Extreme Hills
One of those exciting, high-tempo matches where neither side can actually finish. Sooner or later, though, one team’s going to score.

Sabrefell Athletic 0-1 Goodfeather FC
Goodfeather’s fierce attack has been matched by a defence simply stonewalling the embrace of Athletic’s front four. Kieran Ritter in particular is having a fantastic game, the Project graduate vindicating those who think he could be the successor to Hadrian Belfast.

Ritter Town 0-0 AFC Integabad
Ritter look the better side, but neither looks likely to score. It’s been a good match for Morder, deputising in the Panthers’ goal.

Raven River 0-2 Maximum City
The Smiths’ undeserved goal kickstarted their match, and they’ve looked resoundingly the better team since. River will need to step up their game to compete.

Parrhesia United 1-0 Maximum Rovers
The Saints are dominant, but Middleton’s had a strong match between the posts - with Rovers making two substitutions (Zander on for the muted Drake, Fischer brought on for Marr) to try and stop the rot while they can still do something about it.

North Laithland 0-0 Newrook City
A mind-numbing exercise in tedium with no redeeming qualities between two dismal teams.

The second half kicks off and immediately Brinemouth seem rejuvenated. Chatswood are struggling with Brinemouth’s passing game - and the Dockers dominate the first ten minutes. That said, they can’t put it in the net - Alhambra Shrike is at the top of her game, and Flynn and Stubbs are standing strong too. Bryson, meanwhile, nearly catches Colbright off her line - but the quick-footed Cormorant can compensate enough to tip it over the bar.

It is, surprisingly, Chenoworth Rovers who score first, in the 49th minute - the Fallenmarker Damkjaer’s long ball finds Rogalski in space, able to swerve to the side, beast Hikari and smash past Thrace. The goal seems to stir Rovers into life - Damkjaer nearly scores himself soon afterwards, but Thrace is equal to the shot. Meanwhile, Roy Hennessey (at Parrhesia, Thrace’s former club), is entirely at fault for a Maximum Rovers equaliser - Lysander’s weak shot is rather clumsily parried, and a bemused Elsa Ashworth taps into an empty net. The Saints can answer it three minutes later, however - Sophia Mullery rifles in a shot from the edge of the box. Crisisbless United have a fairly meaningless goal against rampant South Laithland - Andreas Rourke, drifting wide, beasts Pryde on a diagonal run to meet a long Rhinestone pass. Drummond should’ve dealt with it, but she dwells on possession, and Rourke capitalises by blasting past Peterson. Understandably, the Equestrian is furious in probably her last match with the club.

But that’s all a sideshow, as Brinemouth finally press their advantage in the 56th minute - within two minutes of being brought on, dynamic left winger Stephen Mahoney moves through an open diagonal right at Shrike’s goal, tearing past Flynn, before laying the ball across to Felix Schwarzenegger - the bustling centreforward makes no mistake, smashing into the ceiling of the net. But the job isn’t done yet. Fortunately for the Dockers, Crisisbless is getting firmly into the match, holding the distinct upper hand - but Russ Miller is equal to their efforts. Bad news for the Stags, however, as Catheline Harper pulls up with a calf strain - Cheney Portsmouth, one of the Youth Cup runners-up (like Crisisbless goalkeeper Ballard) is brought on in her stead. While Portsmouth might not have Harper’s accuracy, set piece ability or personal danger, he’s a dynamic runner who can definitely cause problems on his own.

Meanwhile, in Gargoyle’s Court, someone can finally put their shots on target. Promising Crisisbless loanee and U-21-capped midfielder Brigid Kestrel takes possession, turns, dances past her two markers and fires past Elaine Koeller from barely outside the box. Elsewhere in Sabrefell, there’s signs of life from Daniella Strauss, who scores one of the clumsier shots of the season - rising well for a cross at the far post, she headers it against the upright, stumbles into the ricochet and hits it into the net with her left knee. Hardly a dignified way for the Ravens to pull one back, but they all count. Meanwhile, South Laithland surely finishes off the Chessmen - Illich-Svitych heading home a corner for his second of the match, and seventh of the season. The score now stands at 4-1.

Twenty minutes to play, and many matches winding down to the close. But there’s a sudden development in Treason - Crisisbless surge forward on the attack, and after three minutes of aggressive probing, they find an opening. Espen Knutsen is the hero of the hour - Khan flicks the ball to Keast, who fires low and hard, Miller gets down well to palm it away, but it’s the Buyanese who slides in to smash the ball into the net after a very multicultural buildup. Despair in Treason - they’re now reliant on Chatswood holding on, which doesn’t look a likely prospect as Brinemouth press them higher and harder. But the Stags nearly pull one back through Elior Schneider’s powerful header - it’s a strong effort, but Ballard smacks it away with a single strong palm.

It’s Parrhesia who are next to score, in fact - player of the match Mullery is felled in the box, Camden smashes a penalty underneath Middleton, who at least goes the right way. And Sabrefell Moths draw level soon afterwards - Kellard smashes a volley against the upright after a corner, and substitute Kirsten Cliving throws herself at the rebound to head in. A fairly farcical goal, but it’s followed by a thing of beauty. Brinemouth are unafraid to run at the most violent defence in the league, and they take full advantage of the, well, advantage - Mathias is felled brutally by Firth, but the ball trickles to leftback Clough. Clough fires the ball into the centre to Schwarzenegger, playing with his back to goal, who takes it on the chest, draws a defender off him, before cutting across to young Elaine Ashdown. The midfielder, with Flynn pulled away and Stubbs motionless with indecision, has all the space in the world to charge forward and snap a shot under Alhambra Shrike. Brinemouth, unless Treason can pull ahead again, have the title.

News filters quickly along Treason, and Ramsey switches up the side - Quinn comes on for the tiring Schindler, the dynamic Moody for Stokes. Across town, Rovers finish off the Chariots, the exceptional Damkjaer firing high across Thrace. The Stags’ substitutions nearly pay dividends as Quinn’s pace allows him to get around Greig with the ball, but again, Ballard’s equal to the task. Across in Sabrefell, Hounds centreforward Sandmire strikes the final nail in the Moths’ coffin with a thunderous drive. Cheney Portsmouth hammers a shot on target, and Ballard uncharacteristically can only fumble it away… but Finnan hoofs it out for a corner. Roque Acosta lashes the ball across the penalty area, but Ballard redeems herself by rising for it and claiming it - but a heavy fall, first onto Elior Schneider and then onto the ground, injures her shoulder. Not seriously, but enough to warrant a stop of play and a reluctant substitution. The largely untested Dan Keel is brought on in her stead to finish the match. As that substitution is happening, the Saints run the Rovers ragged, pulling their defence to pieces before a killer ball from Mullery gives Monti a tap-in.

The final whistle is blown in Chatswood - Brinemouth have won, and Treason have three minutes of injury time to strike a winner. It’s desperate now, and Ramsey is unafraid to order his men to go route one. Moody is the first to try her luck, hoofing a ball at the Taijani Schneider, but it’s dealt with by a muscular aerial challenge from Karl Finnan. Then Connacht attempts a bit of skill, a smart one-two with Quinn giving him all the room in the world to line up a shot - but Keel’s equal to it. Schneider tries his luck from another header, then Portsmouth misses from fifteen yards… and Keel’s not in a hurry to take the goalkick. It’s over, even when he finally does hoof it at Russ Miller…

… And news filters through to Westcroft. Brinemouth have won the trophy, and while it’ll take another half an hour for it to get there from a carefully-chosen location roughly in the middle of Treason, they can already rejoice in their third successive victory. Chatswood are gracious winners, willing to shake hands and swap shirts despite losing their shot at the Globe Cup. And there’s celebrations in the Gauntlet too, from the away fans - they’ve retained third place, very, very narrowly. In Violence, Chariot supporters are left to wonder what might have been… but as it stands, they choked at the last second, to Maximum City’s gain on the other side of Sabrefell, and the Smiths are jubilant.

The curtain closes on the 337 season. It began with an exodus of talent and the managerial return of a legend, and forty-six exhilarating matchdays later, we have our champions. For the third season in a row, Brinemouth can lift the trophy… but this time, it’s been closer than ever.

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Brinemouth               46  29   9   8 100  51  +49  96  Champions
  2 AFC Treason              46  28  12   6  82  35  +47  96  CC
  3 Crisisbless              46  22  11  13  76  53  +23  77  GC
  4 Goodfeather FC           46  21  14  11  77  57  +20  77  GC
  5 Maximum City             46  22  11  13  55  38  +17  77  GC
  6 Violence Chariots        46  21  12  13  71  54  +17  75  CEdC
  7 Chatswood                46  19  16  11  68  56  +12  73
  8 Parrhesia United         46  20  11  15  67  61   +6  71
  9 Sabrefell Athletic       46  20   8  18  74  57  +17  68
 10 Sabrefell Moths          46  18  12  16  62  56   +6  66
 11 Raven River              46  16  15  15  56  52   +4  63
 12 Vermillion Rage          46  17  11  18  72  58  +14  62
 13 Extreme Hills            46  16  13  17  59  71  -12  61
 14 Chenoworth Rovers        46  15  15  16  48  47   +1  60
 15 North Laithland          46  13  19  14  56  56   +0  58
 16 Corvette Maulers         46  15  11  20  55  70  -15  56
 17 Ritter Town              46  13  13  20  50  71  -21  52
 18 Crisisbless United       46  13  11  22  52  85  -33  50
 19 Maximum Rovers           46  12  12  22  44  60  -16  48
 20 West Brinemouth          46  13   8  25  39  60  -21  47
 21 AFC Integabad            46  10  15  21  30  63  -33  45  R
 22 Chenoworth Harriers      46  12   9  25  37  72  -35  45  R
 23 Newrook City             46  11  11  24  46  65  -19  44  R
 24 South Laithland          46   9  15  22  35  63  -28  42  R

TOP SCORERS
26 - D. Norgen (BRI)
23 - O. Keast (CRI)
22 - A. Rettinger (GDF)
21 - T. Bryson (CHT), N. Walker (VIC)
19 - C. Drinkwater (EXH), R. Ironside (GDF), P. Oliver (SFM), E. Havelund (VRR)
18 - R. Monti (PAR), A. Dorne (SFA), L. Schindler (TRE), J. Ritter (VIC)
17 - J. Capulet (MXC), F. Keller (RTT)
16 - A. Rourke (CRU), D. Arragne (NLA)
15 - L. Fletcher (CVM), B. Sternberg (CRI)
14 - N. Charlemagne (CHT), G. Kite (MXC), R. Drake (MXR), T. Kenway (RVR), D. Strauss (RVR), E. Schneider (TRE)

AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Darek Norgen (BRI)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Rachael Loxley (GDF)
Iron Fist (Debutant of the Year): Mikko Haagensen (CHT)
Team of the Year: Miller (TRE); Grana (TRE), Marlowe (TRE), Finnan (CRI), Clough (BRI); Watt (BRI), Loxley (GDF), Haagensen (CHT), Bottlegreen (GDF); Norgen (BRI), Keast (CRI) - Bench: Ballard (CRI), Stewart (BRI), Hansson (MXC), Acosta (TRE), St. Cleer (CRI), R. Connacht (TRE), A. Rettinger (GDF)
Manager of the Year: Spike Turnbull (GDF)

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Southfell United           46  29   9   8  86  59  +27  96  P
  2 Cypher Town                46  26  12   8  81  42  +39  90  P
  3 Leichhardt                 46  26   9  11  62  27  +35  87  P
  4 Iron City                  46  25   8  13  50  30  +20  83  P
  5 Coret Hawks                46  23  13  10  68  29  +39  82
  6 Bishop                     46  22   9  15  59  42  +17  75
  7 Starling                   46  21  11  14  65  43  +22  74
  8 Martella Jazz              46  21   7  18  69  69   +0  70
  9 Cranequin City             46  18  15  13  61  53   +8  69
 10 Creed United               46  18  12  16  61  56   +5  66
 11 Cranequin Wanderers        46  16  17  13  54  48   +6  65
 12 Vermillion Wanderers       46  18  10  18  63  64   -1  64
 13 Rochford                   46  15  17  14  44  45   -1  62
 14 AFC Serpentine             46  17  11  18  55  65  -10  62
 15 Sutcroft                   46  14  13  19  46  53   -7  55
 16 West Hook                  46  13  15  18  40  52  -12  54
 17 Franchise FC               46  12  14  20  43  60  -17  50
 18 Leopolis Hatemongers       46  11  15  20  50  67  -17  48
 19 Mainstream Fist            46  12  11  23  54  63   -9  47
 20 AFC Shale                  46  11  14  21  37  54  -17  47
 21 Crisisbless Athletic       46  11  12  23  37  69  -32  45  R
 22 Dross Rovers               46  11  10  25  43  68  -25  43  R
 23 Rhagant Schadenfreude      46   9  13  24  32  60  -28  40  R
 24 Brookford Otters           46  10   9  27  42  84  -42  39  R

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L  For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Locksley                     46  30  10   6  104  44  +60 100  P
  2 Sheridan                     46  25   8  13   57  29  +28  83  P
  3 Hackett                      46  24  11  11   59  40  +19  83  P
  4 Crossroads Town              46  22  14  10   62  51  +11  80  P
  5 South Parrhesia              46  24   8  14   60  52   +8  80
  6 North Sabrefell              46  22  13  11   69  40  +29  79
  7 Strephonage                  46  22  11  13   62  39  +23  77
  8 Ox River United              46  21  12  13   48  36  +12  75
  9 Iron United                  46  19  15  12   51  37  +14  72
 10 East Laithland Harriers      46  19  13  14   48  40   +8  70
 11 Boleyn Town                  46  18  12  16   47  39   +8  66
 12 South Brill                  46  20   6  20   53  52   +1  66
 13 Rushe United                 46  18  11  17   67  70   -3  65
 14 North Dubstep                46  18  10  18   55  57   -2  64
 15 Project +90                  46  18  10  18   60  69   -9  64
 16 Armstrong                    46  15  17  14   48  37  +11  62
 17 Coret Rovers                 46  18   8  20   60  57   +3  62
 18 Falston Town                 46  14  14  18   50  70  -20  56
 19 Gridlock Rovers              46  14   8  24   40  63  -23  50
 20 Dubstep Rangers              46  10  14  22   34  63  -29  44
 21 Kensey Town                  46  10  13  23   52  77  -25  43  R
 22 Fenland Albion               46   6  12  28   27  64  -37  30  R
 23 Forge Carpenters             46   6  10  30   31  72  -41  28  R
 24 FC United                    46   3  12  31   27  73  -46  21  R

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For   Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Masculine Town             46  31   7   8  77   33  +44 100  P
  2 Iberia Chenoworth          46  28   9   9  94   47  +47  93  P
  3 Belgrave                   46  25  13   8  66   30  +36  88  P
  4 Corby Hubris               46  24  15   7  52   30  +22  87  P
  5 Chaker Town                46  23  13  10  66   50  +16  82
  6 Long Lake                  46  22  13  11  49   29  +20  79
  7 Blaze                      46  22  10  14  72   63   +9  76
  8 Brookway Town              46  20  14  12  66   48  +18  74
  9 Gridlock                   46  19  15  12  59   41  +18  72
 10 Senway Town                46  20  12  14  55   46   +9  72
 11 Stamper Road               46  20  10  16  69   57  +12  70
 12 Geoff United               46  15  16  15  47   54   -7  61
 13 Gridlock East              46  16  11  19  57   58   -1  59
 14 Reckdale Town              46  17   8  21  66   72   -6  59
 15 Brindleton                 46  16  10  20  53   56   -3  58
 16 Sutcroft Athletic          46  14  12  20  45   59  -14  54
 17 Vermillion Spite           46  14  11  21  54   64  -10  53
 18 Camwell Road               46  13  13  20  48   59  -11  52
 19 Nay Town                   46  12  13  21  40   66  -26  49
 20 Ringway                    46  10  13  23  47   71  -24  43
 21 Haymaker Town              46  10  12  24  36   63  -27  42  R
 22 Inner-East Fairywrens      46   7  14  25  37   60  -23  35  R
 23 Lackerrun                  46   6  11  29  47   88  -41  29  R
 24 Getton Town                46   6   9  31  45  103  -58  27  R

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                     P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Stonegrave              38  22  10   6  42  20  +22  76  P
  2 Courser                 38  22   8   8  48  26  +22  74  P
  3 Dartmouth Terriers      38  22   6  10  65  33  +32  72
  4 The Strongest           38  18   8  12  61  44  +17  62
  5 Bellamy                 38  16  13   9  40  30  +10  61
  6 Grovebank               38  16  11  11  52  42  +10  59
  7 Harrington              38  15  11  12  51  42   +9  56
  8 Thratewood              38  15   9  14  50  45   +5  54
  9 Stekelenbright          38  14   8  16  36  36   +0  50
 10 Norton Road             38  13  11  14  35  42   -7  50
 11 Kommissar               38  11  16  11  50  50   +0  49
 12 Barcastle Rovers        38  13  10  15  38  52  -14  49
 13 Tryst Athletic          38  12  12  14  46  49   -3  48
 14 Southriver              38  13   9  16  44  50   -6  48
 15 Perrett                 38  12  10  16  31  35   -4  46
 16 Worthall                38  11  11  16  34  43   -9  44
 17 Virginia Treason        38   8  14  16  34  48  -14  38
 18 Crisisbless Ermac       38   9   9  20  34  57  -23  36
 19 Ramsay                  38   8  10  20  40  60  -20  34
 20 Huysegem                38   9   6  23  26  53  -27  33

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                  P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Mantlegrove          38  22   5  11  55  42  +13  71  P
  2 Diamondqueen         38  20   7  11  54  26  +28  67  P
  3 Morningstar          38  18  11   9  74  43  +31  65
  4 Riverkey             38  17  12   9  43  34   +9  63
  5 Downsparrow          38  17  11  10  72  43  +29  62
  6 Bodkin Road          38  18   7  13  49  39  +10  61
  7 Greygate             38  15  14   9  50  41   +9  59
  8 Fischer              38  16  11  11  47  39   +8  59
  9 East Slake           38  17   6  15  41  39   +2  57
 10 Sandrock             38  15  10  13  30  27   +3  55
 11 De La Patria         38  13  11  14  44  45   -1  50
 12 Violence Tigers      38  14   8  16  44  50   -6  50
 13 Rookwall             38  12  11  15  42  47   -5  47
 14 Twelvetrees          38  12   9  17  32  38   -6  45
 15 Norpike              38  11  12  15  42  56  -14  45
 16 Leo                  38  10  14  14  44  50   -6  44
 17 Pridehome            38   9  10  19  35  52  -17  37
 18 Harbrook United      38   9   9  20  30  64  -34  36
 19 Starrian             38   8  11  19  35  56  -21  35
 20 Markoni              38   9   7  22  45  77  -32  34

Nephara (NPH) qualifiers
Champions’ Cup: Brinemouth, AFC Treason
Globe Cup: Crisisbless, Goodfeather FC, Maximum City

CEdC: Brinemouth, Violence Chariots

by **Nephara** » Sun Sep 21, 2014 2:06 am

BRENECIAN LEAGUE - 337 SEASON REVIEW

A-LEAGUE

Pos Team                   P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Northern Union        38  25   8   5  62  30  +32  83
  2 Kingsgrove            38  24   7   7  84  42  +42  79
  3 Lotus Park            38  22  10   6  64  34  +30  76
  4 Marque                38  23   6   9  62  39  +23  75
  5 Falkner United        38  18  12   8  50  35  +15  66
  6 North Hall            38  17  13   8  58  35  +23  64
  7 South Rathia          38  16  10  12  61  47  +14  58
  8 Francisca Orient      38  16   8  14  50  58   -8  56
  9 Saint Alexander       38  15   8  15  43  44   -1  53
 10 North Rathia          38  13   9  16  56  70  -14  48
 11 Rozelle               38  13   8  17  40  46   -6  47
 12 Rosbank Town          38  13   7  18  42  60  -18  46
 13 Pikemouth             38  11  12  15  45  49   -4  45
 14 Sutbyrne              38  11   9  18  44  53   -9  42
 15 Gallant Cross         38  10  12  16  40  52  -12  42
 16 Rozelle United        38  11   6  21  41  60  -19  39
 17 Snowden River         38  10   8  20  45  60  -15  38
 18 Westpike              38   7  14  17  26  43  -17  35
 19 Ridgeway United       38   7   9  22  29  50  -21  30
 20 Westpike United       38   6   8  24  26  61  -35  26

TOP SCORERS
29 - G. Sanchez-Dysos (KNG)
23 - A. Byrne (MAR)
20 - A. Bowman (SRA)
18 - C. Ravenhorst (NTH)
17 - R. Gillard (NRA)

AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Guillermo Sanchez-Dysos (KNG)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Guillermo Sanchez-Dysos (KNG)
Team of the Year: Carrick (MAR); Blackwood (NTU), Oakley (NTU), Chilton (LOT), Murtagh (FLK); Stamper (KNG), Dietmar (NTH), Kilbane (LOT); Graves (FLK), Sanchez-Dysos (KNG), Pendragon (NTU)
Manager of the Year: Max Haywood (ROS)

B-LEAGUE

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Guilder                  38  21   8   9  64  38  +26  71
  2 Mount Roland             38  18  12   8  48  27  +21  66
  3 Chafford                 38  18  12   8  52  37  +15  66
  4 Southside Wanderers      38  19   7  12  52  33  +19  64
  5 Thrush                   38  16  12  10  54  38  +16  60
  6 Region                   38  17   9  12  50  43   +7  60
  7 Arkwood                  38  16   8  14  52  39  +13  56
  8 Hooker Ridge             38  16   7  15  64  58   +6  55
  9 Saint Wessex             38  14  13  11  50  47   +3  55
 10 Dalgallen                38  14  11  13  61  50  +11  53
 11 Thriss Valley            38  16   5  17  50  61  -11  53
 12 Platwood                 38  13  13  12  48  42   +6  52
 13 Sharrow                  38  15   7  16  57  53   +4  52
 14 Fort Keller              38  11  14  13  43  48   -5  47
 15 Scaffield                38  11  11  16  31  43  -12  44
 16 Garfield                 38  11  11  16  46  60  -14  44
 17 Swayback                 38  10  11  17  49  61  -12  41
 18 Glassfields              38   9  12  17  42  59  -17  39
 19 Saint Essex              38   8  11  19  46  75  -29  35
 20 Pryde Wanderers          38   7   6  25  35  82  -47  27

C-LEAGUE

Pos Team                   P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Crest                 22  13  6   3  40  24  +16  45
  2 Greater Snowden       22  12  7   3  46  22  +24  43
  3 Norbyrne              22  11  6   5  38  22  +16  39
  4 Reave City            22  10  8   4  28  18  +10  38
  5 Shenworth             22   8  8   6  26  20   +6  32
  6 Jackdaw River         22   8  8   6  25  23   +2  32
  7 Hammerton             22   7  7   8  21  23   -2  28
  8 Gallow Park           22   5  9   8  24  30   -6  24
  9 Highden               22   5  7  10  18  27   -9  22
 10 Caybrooke             22   5  6  11  25  41  -16  21
 11 Brookden              22   4  7  11  14  32  -18  19
 12 Rathia Wanderers      22   2  5  15  10  33  -23  11

D-LEAGUE

Pos Team                        P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Proudcastle                22  13  6   3  34  13  +21  45
  2 Monastery Park             22  12  7   3  35  14  +21  43
  3 Marque Rovers              22  11  7   4  42  32  +10  40
  4 Goldrush Wanderers         22  10  7   5  27  19   +8  37
  5 Pikemouth United           22   9  8   5  22  19   +3  35
  6 Falkner Wanderers          22   8  7   7  30  24   +6  31
  7 South Ridgeway             22   6  9   7  23  27   -4  27
  8 Corder Town                22   6  6  10  24  34  -10  24
  9 Rooke and Knightstone      22   5  8   9  21  24   -3  23
 10 Fentonbridge               22   5  7  10  24  31   -7  22
 11 Myhill                     22   2  9  11  17  32  -15  15
 12 Rushden                    22   3  3  16  19  49  -30  12[/color]

CROWN CUP

Final
Ridgeway United 1-1 Falkner United (1-2 AET, 1-2 agg)

Brenecia (BRE) qualifiers
Puppet of Nephara

Champions’ Cup: Northern Union
Globe Cup: Kingsgrove, Lotus Park, Marque

CEdC: Northern Union, Falkner United

by **Nephara** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 3:04 am

338 Season Preview

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Brinemouth               46  29   9   8 100  51  +49  96  Champions
2 AFC Treason              46  28  12   6  82  35  +47  96  CC
3 Crisisbless              46  22  11  13  76  53  +23  77  GC
4 Goodfeather FC           46  21  14  11  77  57  +20  77  GC
5 Maximum City             46  22  11  13  55  38  +17  77  GC
6 Violence Chariots        46  21  12  13  71  54  +17  75  CEdC
7 Chatswood                46  19  16  11  68  56  +12  73
8 Parrhesia United         46  20  11  15  67  61   +6  71
9 Sabrefell Athletic       46  20   8  18  74  57  +17  68
10 Sabrefell Moths          46  18  12  16  62  56   +6  66
11 Raven River              46  16  15  15  56  52   +4  63
12 Vermillion Rage          46  17  11  18  72  58  +14  62
13 Extreme Hills            46  16  13  17  59  71  -12  61
14 Chenoworth Rovers        46  15  15  16  48  47   +1  60
15 North Laithland          46  13  19  14  56  56   +0  58
16 Corvette Maulers         46  15  11  20  55  70  -15  56
17 Ritter Town              46  13  13  20  50  71  -21  52
18 Crisisbless United       46  13  11  22  52  85  -33  50
19 Maximum Rovers           46  12  12  22  44  60  -16  48
20 West Brinemouth          46  13   8  25  39  60  -21  47
21 AFC Integabad            46  10  15  21  30  63  -33  45  R
22 Chenoworth Harriers      46  12   9  25  37  72  -35  45  R
23 Newrook City             46  11  11  24  46  65  -19  44  R
24 South Laithland          46   9  15  22  35  63  -28  42  R

1 Southfell United           46  29   9   8  86  59  +27  96  P
2 Cypher Town                46  26  12   8  81  42  +39  90  P
3 Leichhardt                 46  26   9  11  62  27  +35  87  P
4 Iron City                  46  25   8  13  50  30  +20  83  P
5 Coret Hawks                46  23  13  10  68  29  +39  82
6 Bishop                     46  22   9  15  59  42  +17  75

TOP SCORERS
26 - D. Norgen (BRI)
23 - O. Keast (CRI)
22 - A. Rettinger (GDF)
21 - T. Bryson (CHT), N. Walker (VIC)
19 - C. Drinkwater (EXH), R. Ironside (GDF), P. Oliver (SFM), E. Havelund (VRR)
18 - R. Monti (PAR), A. Dorne (SFA), L. Schindler (TRE), J. Ritter (VIC)
17 - J. Capulet (MXC), F. Keller (RTT)
16 - A. Rourke (CRU), D. Arragne (NLA)
15 - L. Fletcher (CVM), B. Sternberg (CRI)
14 - N. Charlemagne (CHT), G. Kite (MXC), R. Drake (MXR), T. Kenway (RVR), D. Strauss (RVR), E. Schneider (TRE)

AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Darek Norgen (BRI)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Rachael Loxley (GDF)
Iron Fist (Debutant of the Year): Mikko Haagensen (CHT)
Team of the Year: Miller (TRE); Grana (TRE), Marlowe (TRE), Finnan (CRI), Clough (BRI); Watt (BRI), Loxley (GDF), Haagensen (CHT), Bottlegreen (GDF); Norgen (BRI), Keast (CRI) - Bench: Ballard (CRI), Stewart (BRI), Hansson (MXC), Acosta (TRE), St. Cleer (CRI), R. Connacht (TRE), A. Rettinger (GDF)
Manager of the Year: Spike Turnbull (GDF)

CLUB FORMAT (Crest linked)

by **Nephara** » Thu Oct 23, 2014 1:54 pm

by **Nephara** » Fri Oct 24, 2014 4:27 am

by **Nephara** » Mon Nov 10, 2014 7:53 pm

Ah, UICA preseason - sometimes derided for the presence of relative minnows on the global scene, there were some decent games here. There were a fair few comfortable and deserved victories, but Pasargan outfit Galactica and Zwangzug’s Rovers United were both dispatched by AFC Treason - they have decidedly not got an easy draw, especially with Buyan outfit Blau-Weiss Pallstadt coming up. Goodfeather hosted a Fallenmarker side - Nephara’s always viewed the Islands warmly ever since hosting them in the Baptism of Fire - in a good-natured encounter that saw the Quakers win through, while the Smiths were actually bundled out by unfancied Jujoo in an exhilarating 5-3 defeat at home. Still, with Maximum City the lone exception, four clubs from five reach the Playoff Rounds.

But the preseason is nothing but foreplay - it’s time to get down to the gritty business of the league, a first kickoff of forty-six. It’s good to see some fire on an opening matchday, as yet again it kicks off on a Brinemouth derby. A rather surprising one, for that matter, as the plucky Gulls manage to get the first goal on the counterattack through Daniel Freuen, carrying on his form from late last season. With 70 minutes to play, Brinemouth hammer and hammer on Marisa Cronin’s goal, but only once find a way through thanks to James Watt, firing an arcing shot that just caught Cronin out a little. Credit where it’s due - it was coming from somewhere. A Maximum derby is to be had as well, and yet again it’s a 1-1 draw - City still seem a little stunned by their UICA exit, and Catheline Harper takes advantage in a player-of-the-match performance. She chalks up a goal and should’ve chalked up an assist, but Reinhard Drake missed a sitter, and as it stood the home side got a scarcely-deserved equaliser from Georgia Kite. Meanwhile, in Corvette, the season gets off to an inauspicious start for the Maulers - Treason roll in off the back of an impressive 4-2 win over Rovers United in no mood for a weaker side, and annihilate them 5-0. Maulers can’t get a shot on target, while Kurtis Quinn adds to his five UICA goals so far with two in the league. If he can keep up this kind of form, all of Treason’s striker concerns might be over… as for the newly promoted sides, Southfell are only narrowly beaten by Crisisbless and two Osric Keast strikes, one either side of half-time. Cypher also fall, looking impressive in spells but not enough to really challenge Sabrefell Athletic. Leichhardt get a decent draw at home against a shaky North Laithland yet to gel, while Iron City manage an impressive win over Parrhesia, albeit from a dodgy penalty.

Brinemouth, in front of a strong home crowd, put Whirl Island champions Navel FC to the sword without ever really looking threatened - Stephen Mahoney impresses in a man of the match performance and chalks up a brace, but Garrotte will be happy with her team’s disciplined defending. Meanwhile, Treason face a tougher task - Blau-Weiss Pallstadt go into the fixture as narrow favourites on aggregate, Treason favourites for the home match itself. They can’t take it, however - Kurtis Quinn, so effective in prior matches, simply can’t find any way past Pallstadt’s all-foreign back four, let alone Jan Erhardt in goal. Blau-Weiss have the fewer chances, but the best ones of the match, and Russ Miller has a great game to keep the scores level.

As for the Globe Cup? With a 4-1 win, Crisisbless are set for a cruisy away leg against unfancied Krsthaven. To their credit, the Semarland club picks themselves up admirably in the 70th minute at 4-0 down, and could’ve had a couple of goals were it not for smart work from Flynn King - as it stands, they do score one, but the Heelers can strongly fancy themselves for the return fixture. Less fortunate are Goodfeather FC - Ponyville United might hail from a league that’s fallen on relatively hard times of late, but they still have enough about them to thoroughly outclass the Quakers over the 90 minutes. It’s an even match until late in the first half until Emma Kelly dithers on the ball before having a weak clearance charged down by Fire Dash, who beats the other two centrebacks before smashing past Caravella - from then on, United are dominant, Dash getting another goal before Vagn Meyer’s low strike beats Caravella from twenty yards.

A rather quiet matchday - Goodfeather have more than a few rotations in the hopes of a UICA comeback, but the resultant side is hammered 3-0 by Escher Speare’s North Laithland. The Spiders exhibit in 90 minutes more optimism and assertiveness than the entirety of last season. Treason, also with a heavily rested squad (Quinn, Acosta, Grana and Tachibana all on the bench) edge Chatswood with a thunderbolt from Cheney Portsmouth - Gustaf Graz comes close to opening his account for Chatswood with an equaliser, but his late strike smashes off the crossbar.

Brinemouth blow Navel FC away with a performance even better than the home leg - they’ll be wishing they could have produced something like that against Violence last league match. Treason, however, are out of the Champions’ Cup - it might have been a narrow match, but Blau-Weiss Pallstadt’s pressure was just too much in the end, and the Buyanese ran out worthy winners. Krsthaven manage an impressive win on home soil, but the damage is done, and Crisisbless wins on aggregate. Goodfeather save face with a heroic victory at home - Rettinger and Bottlegreen beating Mellody Sioux with impressive strikes in a deserved win, but Doherty’s late goal kills any hope of a comeback. Treason are now to play for the Globe Cup, Goodfeather crash out of UICA entirely, but without disgracing themselves.

The Stags field a full-strength side against the Chariots, and Gareth Sumner’s men are annihilated. It’s a tough loss to take, given how meekly they rolled over after the first two goals - both within the first ten minutes. Sumner is appropriately disgusted with his squad in the post-match confidence, while Ramsey brazenly states outright that Militar Marte, their UICA opponents, are next. Brinemouth evidently fare less well at balancing league with international football - Vermillion come from 2-0 down to draw a match the Dockers really should’ve had in the bag. Meanwhile, the Maulers suffer a third straight loss, but they do at least score a first goal - they now have one scored and ten conceded. And Bryan Veldt will feel he should’ve done better, beaten at his near post for Town’s winner.

The Stags look a little tired against Militar Marte - while they take an early lead through Elior Schneider, they can’t keep tight at the back, and concede two late goals. Still, Ramsey continues to insist Treason are favourites - “We’ll soften ‘em up at the Gauntlet. You think we can’t beat them two or three nil back in Nephara? Then you’re bloody deluding yourself, mate.” No such dramas for the Heelers, though, who run out comfortable 3-0 winners against Balmas.

What in God’s good name was this week?
From the top;
The Stags hosted Brinemouth. This the match between the two favourites, one that could well come to swing the balance for the title race. And the Dockers, yet to record a win, managed to beat a Treason side yet to drop points - both sides had rotated personnel in and out after their UICA matches, but Watt still set up Norgen for a tap-in to take advantage of some weak defending in the 31st, before a late penalty (won by the substitute Felix Schwarzenegger, converted by Watt) sealed the deal.
Southfell and Vermillion played out a 5-5 draw, with Elmo Havelund managing four for Vermillion, Dale Brightley of the Tanners scoring twice with three assists (one for Gannon, one for Volker, one for Hilde Petrarch).
Ritter Town shockingly crush Chatswood 4-0, with four different scorers. The score was 1-0 in the 76th, but a second yellow card for Haagensen opened the floodgates - highlighting how crucial the Valhallan defensive midfielder is for the team.
Finally, Goodfeather put seven past Iron City. Rettinger nets a hattrick - between him, Havelund and a neat Knutsen goal that sinks North Laithland, the league’s three Buyanese have scored eight this matchday - Ironside two, Seneca Matthews a fluke cross-cum-shot with a Rachael Loxley penalty book-ending the match.

Both Nepharim clubs mirror the other’s matches in the first leg - Crisisbless suffer a shock defeat to Balmas which isn’t enough to knock them out, while Treason utterly dominate the Guayabalense at home as promised by their manager a week ago. Kurtis Quinn opens the scoring, Susana Grana scores with a dipping strike cutting inside from the wing and substitute Olenna Carrick nets a third from Connacht’s low cross. Both Nepharim sides progress to the group stage of the Globe Cup - three teams in all make it through qualifying, a record for Nephara.

Cypher must have thought they had this one in the bag - hosting Iron City, a team who’d just been beaten 7-1 at home. And Iron did score again, Diandra Marlborough slashing a shot in from the edge of the box - but they defend incredibly deep and compact to frustrate the Eagles for the entire rest of the game. A good performance by Wren Redruth doesn’t hurt. Ritter Town suffer an unpleasant reversal of fortunes, Violence taking them apart at the seams in a 7-0 crucifixion, scorching the earth and salting the fields.

Leichhardt were predicted to come into this season with a bad attack, a decent defence, and a prayer of survival. They’ve scored seven in the past two, conceding just once to an inch-perfect Andreas Rourke strike. As it stands, it’s Corvette who take a bad, bad loss - yet another, in fact, as they continue an uncomfortable start to the season. Meanwhile, the Moths continue their mixed start to the season by getting utterly wasted by Brinemouth. 1-0 at half-time, it slowly becomes a massacre as Brinemouth finds the weak link in the defence, Clint Gallagher, and picks them apart from there. The Brenecian international’s been coming under increased pressure from academy graduate Lucia Pembroke of late, and it seems like that might just be a lost battle.

Southfell continue a solid start to the season with victory over Raven River - keeping solid and compact at the back and nicking quick goals at the front for a 2-0 scoreline. But it’s notable largely for the return of a legendary Cormorant - Dale Brightley, who’d had a slow start to the season (seemingly taking a while to get used to the physicality of the division again), finally scores his first goal with a stunning strike from thirty yards that left fellow Baptism of Fire winner Kurtis Fitzmarten without a hope in hell, before a neat Hilde Petrarch cross found him unmarked running into the centre of the box - he made no mistake. Just to the north, Violence Chariots are expecting an easy win over Maximum Rovers. But the Rovers have enjoyed a start to the season nothing short of fantastic - and the Chariots are just the latest of their scalps. Catheline Harper yet again makes the difference with two assists, Reinhard Drake and the substitute Marcia Naysmith both on the receiving end. But to credit her for everything is to dismiss how much more disciplined Maximum look at the back - Hildebrandt and Graves might have a slightly comical difference of eight inches’ height in the former’s favour, but they were impeccable tonight against an attack far classier than them. Meanwhile, Leichhardt continue their good run of form - Chatswood are frustrated in front of goal time and again, hit the woodwork twice, find Jan Felmen in great form and, as it turns out, when they do get an equaliser it should have been called offside. Emery Lineker, of course, is unrepentant. “That goal was fucking coming, legally or not,” she snapped to the press - not winning many fans with the Leichhardt faithful.

Ritter haven’t enjoyed a particularly good start to the season, but they nearly pull off something special against Brinemouth. They take a lead in the seventh minute from Felix Keller’s half-volley, while Lukas Farrell cuts inside in his box-to-box role to convert a cross at the far post, unmarked. Ritter, with precisely two more goals than they expected to get in the first place, predictably park the bus. Brinemouth quickly pull one back, or at least think they have, but Watt is rightly called offside - and that rejuvenates a weary Stallion defence, as they manage to hold out firm. Until the 75th minute, at least… this time Watt isn’t offside as he cuts inside and rifles past Cunningham in the box, before setting up the fresh legs of substitute Felix Schwarzenegger for the equaliser, before Schwarzenegger later takes an Ashdown pass past Rinehart before smashing past Cunningham for the winner. Ritter do nearly claw back an equaliser, Dorcas Merochite nearly catching out Tana Colbright from thirty yards, but ultimately the better side, for all the talk of fairytales, won. The Crisisbless derby, meanwhile, sees the Heelers win away fairly comfortably; Leichhardt’s brief unbeaten streak is put to the sword by Nate Walker’s brace.

Ritter pull more or less the same stunt as they did last match - 3-2 at half-time becomes 3-4 after the full ninety as their defence tires, exposes itself and is put to the sword by an efficient Parrhesia. Corvette haven’t been doing terribly well to start their season, but it’s a former Parrhesia (also Maximum Rovers, Sabrefell Athletic) striker who opens his account for the maulers against the unlikely target of Crisisbless - a mistake from Flynn King gifts him with a tap-in before he marks his brace with a ferocious strike from just outside the box, but Crisisbless are quick to strike back through Keast and Khan - and they get a third through Gustavo Matos’ error, all but passing to Birgit Sternberg who stops, stares, and centres for Keast to score his second. Things quiet down for a while, but Lara Galloway notches up a fourth with a neat long goal, and while Canady completes his hattrick with a header from Scannell’s cross, it’s not enough for the Maulers. Meanwhile, North Laithland’s patchy start to the season becomes steadily more gloomy as Sabrefell Athletic destroy them 4-0. Bray is the man of the match, the quick, sturdy Audioslav a nightmarish spanner in the works for the slow, plodding Pearce and Dvorak (with Rook Kennedy injured with a hamstring strain), and he’s unlucky to only score twice - Steed Corren helps to keep the scoreline down. At least last season started well for the Spiders… Speare, for her part, plays it cool in the press conference, while Miriam Aragon cites it smugly as an example of how far Athletic have come under her tenure. They really are looking like UICA contenders… or perhaps for the title itself.

The Saints, aka ‘poor man’s Brinemouth’, today beat the tar out of the actual, affluent man’s Brinemouth. Granted, the Dockers had rested a couple of players (Stewart, Mathias, Mahoney) for the Champion’s Cup tie, but they still should’ve had enough about them for a victory. And yet a United side inspired by Brenecian club and country captain Erin Camden and the packed home crowd manage to get off to an early 3-0 lead through Monti, Mullery and Sebastian. Arrowsmith nearly fires home a fourth, skimming along the bar, but Brinemouth retaliate by way of Darek Norgen to at least get something on the plate for the second half - and Norgen scores again soon after the interval. But Parrhesia are able to stabilise, rather than falling apart at the seams as they’ve been prone to doing, and two counter-attacks started by Roy Hennessey’s exceptional distribution lead to goals for Monti (again) and the substitute Rivers - a great result for Parrhesia, food for thought for Brinemouth. But at least they can take heart that their title rivals haven’t stolen a march on them - the Stags also lose in Goodfeather, 3-1, with Rachael Loxley the outstanding player of the match. Crisisbless also lose to Chatswood, and Athletic and City stalemate one another. At least the newly promoted sides have their hierarchy sorted out - the Tanners annihilate Iron City 4-0 away, inspired yet again by Brightley who scored or assisted the first three, with 34-year old BoF winner Leyland Stallion rifling home the last.

This is a day that will live long in the memory. Two Nepharim clubs visit Polarian giants, and they come away with a win and a draw. The Griffons are vastly the favourites to beat Brinemouth, and much is made of the fact that Darek Norgen’s experiences with Divijon One are less than happy - and yet, he scores a goal in the eighth minute, volleying home a cross from Stephen Mahoney. Brinemouth have plenty of class, but Franz Josef City have… well, far more, and while Brinemouth continue to press for a second Franz Josef are only denied by a fantastic Colbright save, before finally getting a goal through Toby Drummond’s strike. But a greater triumph still is taking place across the city, at Stadion Rendahl. After a Polarian scores against a Divijon One team, it’s perhaps fitting that East Franz take the lead through a Nepharim, Rook Cathar, who beasts Seth Greig before firing low across Flynn King into the net. But the Heelers knuckle down and defend tighter, and Augustine Brandon in particular stands out - outnumbered by Athletic’s two attacking midfielders, he nevertheless manages to stem the tide - often by brutally hacking down star man Alexis Zeljeznicar. Espen Knutsen scores an equaliser on the counter-attack for Crisisbless, while a rare error from captain Karsten Mannerheim allows Apox international Luxulya St. Cleer to pounce, set up her countryman Keast with a beautiful long pass, and the reliable striker makes no mistake from the chance. A draw would’ve been the ‘fair’ result, but Crisisbless manager Gareth Bournemouth doesn’t believe in such concepts; they’ll take the three points. Treason complete the unbeaten matchday with a solid win over Rovers United - both sides defended well, and it took a moment of Kurtis Quinn elusively slipping through the Rovers’ lines for them to snatch victory. Beyond that, both sides lacked penetration.

Every team still in UICA follows up their successes abroad with a victory domestically - though North Laithland give Brinemouth quite a fight, their suboptimal defence (still lacking Kennedy) failing their strong attack. And Cypher Town can at least hold firm against Treason for seventy minutes until, yes, that man again; Kurtis Quinn leaping like a salmon to convert Portsmouth’s cross. There’s also good wins for Ritter and West Brinemouth, both in six-pointers - well, Corvette Maulers weren’t initially expected to be in the relegation battle, but any team that concedes four to the Gulls has reason to be concerned. The Saints, for their part, will be less than pleased - fresh off winning away against Brinemouth, they now contrive to concede two late goals to Maximum Rovers, and yet again it’s Harper making the difference with a goal and a perfect corner for Vadim Illich-Svitych to convert.

Not too much excitement as the Conference and Third Division sides kick off the NFA Cup. But it’s a rapid end to the dreams of Riverkey - one of last season’s surprise package by making it to the Third Round, they get annihilated 6-0 by Third Division Ringway. Their fellow Third Round Conference teams fare at least a little better - Southriver also suffer defeat, but by a closer 1-0 to Stekelenbright, while Mantlegrove (now of the Third Division) can at least weather a difficult start to their season by beating up De La Patria 4-0. Forge Carpenters continue collapsing down the divisions by losing on penalties to the Conference’s Perrett - this from a side in the First Division until fairly recently.

Corvette versus Vermillion is always a hell of a fight - and it lives up to the billing this time around, too. Canady’s return to form makes the difference, as his late brace turns 3-3 into 5-3 in the space of the last twelve minutes. With Rosenfeld at fault for a couple of goals, patience is starting to run out, and backup goalkeeper Logan Sainsbury looked almost pleased on the bench. Maximum City’s terrible form in front of goal continues, as a single North Laithland counterattack clinches a game the Smiths dominate thanks to their abysmal finishing. Former North Laithland striker Diana Cooper is brought on as a substitute and does manage to light up the game, but Steed Corren’s equal to every attempt.

Well, much of the good feeling from the last set of results fades quietly, Brinemouth beaten on home turf by an efficient Fontvielle Impact who make the best of the chances they have, while the Ables and the Ordinaries utterly dismantle Crisisbless in a hectic second half to take top spot in the group as Granger and East Franz play out a 4-4 draw. Once again, the Stags are the odd one out - in a tight affair, they beat Viztourzys Kolektyvinis in Buyan. “I’d rather have won in Pallstadt, if it came down to it,” Gethin Ramsey muttered to the press afterwards, but he’ll take the three points all the same.

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                     P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 AFC Treason             12  9  0  3  21  10  +11  27
  2 Sabrefell Athletic      12  8  2  2  18   5  +13  26
  3 Brinemouth              12  7  4  1  23  12  +11  25
  4 Crisisbless             12  7  3  2  18  11   +7  24
  5 Maximum Rovers          12  6  4  2  15   7   +8  22
  6 Southfell United        12  6  2  4  23  16   +7  20
  7 Extreme Hills           12  6  2  4  18  12   +6  20
  8 Violence Chariots       12  6  1  5  25  16   +9  19
  9 Goodfeather FC          12  6  1  5  23  17   +6  19
 10 Raven River             12  6  1  5  11  10   +1  19
 11 Chatswood               12  5  4  3  12  13   -1  19
 12 Sabrefell Moths         12  6  1  5  13  17   -4  19
 13 Maximum City            12  4  6  2   8   5   +3  18
 14 Chenoworth Rovers       12  4  3  5  12  14   -2  15
 15 Parrhesia United        12  4  2  6  17  18   -1  14
 16 Leichhardt              12  4  2  6  13  16   -3  14
 17 North Laithland         12  4  2  6  13  17   -4  14
 18 Ritter Town             12  4  1  7  17  24   -7  13
 19 Crisisbless United      12  3  2  7  12  22  -10  11
 20 Iron City               12  3  2  7   9  25  -16  11
 21 West Brinemouth         12  2  4  6  11  18   -7  10
 22 Corvette Maulers        12  3  1  8  13  28  -15  10
 23 Vermillion Rage         12  1  6  5  19  22   -3   9
 24 Cypher Town             12  1  2  9   7  16   -9   5

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                       P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Vermillion Wanderers      12  8  3  1  33  11  +22  27
  2 Cranequin Wanderers       12  7  3  2  19   5  +14  24
  3 Coret Hawks               12  7  2  3  16   9   +7  23
  4 Bishop                    12  6  4  2  16   8   +8  22
  5 AFC Serpentine            12  6  3  3  25  14  +11  21
  6 Chenoworth Harriers       12  6  2  4  17  13   +4  20
  7 Sutcroft                  12  5  5  2  17  14   +3  20
  8 Sheridan                  12  6  2  4  12  12   +0  20
  9 Rochford                  12  5  4  3  14  11   +3  19
 10 Newrook City              12  5  4  3  13  17   -4  19
 11 South Laithland           12  5  3  4  13   8   +5  18
 12 Leopolis Hatemongers      12  5  2  5  21  16   +5  17
 13 Starling                  12  4  5  3  21  18   +3  17
 14 AFC Shale                 12  4  5  3  11  11   +0  17
 15 Martella Jazz             12  5  2  5  13  15   -2  17
 16 Cranequin City            12  4  4  4   9  10   -1  16
 17 West Hook                 12  4  3  5   9  11   -2  15
 18 Hackett                   12  3  5  4  10  14   -4  14
 19 AFC Integabad             12  3  4  5  10  17   -7  13
 20 Creed United              12  2  4  6  19  23   -4  10
 21 Locksley                  12  2  3  7   6  19  -13   9
 22 Crossroads Town           12  1  3  8  10  21  -11   6
 23 Franchise FC              12  1  3  8   8  28  -20   6
 24 Mainstream Fist           12  0  2 10   5  22  -17   2

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Dross Rovers                 12  9  1  2  21   9  +12  28
  2 Iron United                  12  8  2  2  26  12  +14  26
  3 Ox River United              12  8  1  3  19  14   +5  25
  4 Dubstep Rangers              12  7  2  3  14   9   +5  23
  5 South Parrhesia              12  6  4  2  18   8  +10  22
  6 Armstrong                    12  7  1  4  19  16   +3  22
  7 Coret Rovers                 12  6  2  4  20  18   +2  20
  8 Gridlock Rovers              12  5  4  3  17  12   +5  19
  9 Strephonage                  12  5  3  4  22  14   +8  18
 10 East Laithland Harriers      12  5  3  4  18  18   +0  18
 11 Boleyn Town                  12  5  2  5  10   8   +2  17
 12 North Dubstep                12  4  4  4  12  13   -1  16
 13 North Sabrefell              12  5  1  6  13  17   -4  16
 14 Project +90                  12  4  3  5  14  15   -1  15
 15 Falston Town                 12  4  3  5  11  14   -3  15
 16 Rushe United                 12  5  0  7  15  24   -9  15
 17 Belgrave                     12  4  2  6  11  17   -6  14
 18 Brookford Otters             12  3  4  5  12  14   -2  13
 19 Iberia Chenoworth            12  4  0  8  16  16   +0  12
 20 Crisisbless Athletic         12  1  8  3  11  13   -2  11
 21 Rhagant Schadenfreude        12  3  2  7   9  16   -7  11
 22 South Brill                  12  3  2  7  13  22   -9  11
 23 Corby Hubris                 12  2  2  8   7  21  -14   8
 24 Masculine Town               12  1  4  7   5  13   -8   7

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                    P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Senway Town            12  9  2  1  22   7  +15  29
  2 Long Lake              12  9  1  2  19   6  +13  28
  3 Kensey Town            12  7  2  3  26   9  +17  23
  4 Blaze                  12  7  2  3  22  13   +9  23
  5 Brindleton             12  6  4  2  24  13  +11  22
  6 Vermillion Spite       12  6  3  3  17  10   +7  21
  7 Forge Carpenters       12  5  5  2  10   6   +4  20
  8 Stonegrave             12  5  4  3  11   7   +4  19
  9 Gridlock East          12  5  4  3  14  11   +3  19
 10 Fenland Albion         12  4  4  4  14  13   +1  16
 11 Geoff United           12  4  4  4   9   8   +1  16
 12 Gridlock               12  4  4  4  11  11   +0  16
 13 Sutcroft Athletic      12  5  1  6  14  15   -1  16
 14 FC United              12  4  3  5  11  13   -2  15
 15 Brookway Town          12  4  2  6  12  18   -6  14
 16 Camwell Road           12  4  2  6   8  16   -8  14
 17 Courser                12  3  4  5   6   8   -2  13
 18 Chaker Town            12  3  4  5   8  13   -5  13
 19 Reckdale Town          12  3  4  5  11  20   -9  13
 20 Stamper Road           12  3  3  6  13  18   -5  12
 21 Ringway                12  3  2  7  13  19   -6  11
 22 Diamondqueen           12  2  3  7  10  21  -11   9
 23 Mantlegrove            12  2  3  7   6  22  -16   9
 24 Nay Town               12  0  4  8   7  21  -14   4

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                     P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Grovebank               12  7  4  1  21   8  +13  25
  2 Southriver              12  6  4  2  19  10   +9  22
  3 Crisisbless Ermac       12  6  3  3  21  16   +5  21
  4 The Strongest           12  5  5  2  23  15   +8  20
  5 Stekelenbright          12  5  5  2  15  11   +4  20
  6 Harrington              12  6  2  4  18  17   +1  20
  7 Kommissar               12  5  4  3  16  13   +3  19
  8 Barcastle Rovers        12  6  1  5  13  15   -2  19
  9 Dartmouth Terriers      12  5  3  4  19  15   +4  18
 10 Virginia Treason        12  5  3  4  10  10   +0  18
 11 Norton Road             12  5  2  5  13  12   +1  17
 12 Bellamy                 12  5  2  5  11  10   +1  17
 13 Thratewood              12  3  6  3  11  13   -2  15
 14 Lackerrun               12  4  2  6  17  19   -2  14
 15 Tryst Athletic          12  4  1  7  13  20   -7  13
 16 Ramsay                  12  4  1  7  12  19   -7  13
 17 Haymaker Town           12  2  5  5   8  13   -5  11
 18 Worthall                12  2  4  6  13  18   -5  10
 19 Perrett                 12  2  3  7  10  18   -8   9
 20 Huysegem                12  1  4  7   7  18  -11   7

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Greygate                   12  9  2  1  27   7  +20  29
  2 Downsparrow                12  8  3  1  25  12  +13  27
  3 Morningstar                12  7  3  2  18  12   +6  24
  4 De La Patria               12  7  2  3  19  11   +8  23
  5 Inner-East Fairywrens      12  7  1  4  17  10   +7  22
  6 Fischer                    12  6  3  3  20  16   +4  21
  7 Bodkin Road                12  6  2  4  21   8  +13  20
  8 Getton Town                12  6  1  5  23  20   +3  19
  9 Leo                        12  5  3  4  12  17   -5  18
 10 Sandrock                   12  5  2  5  13  13   +0  17
 11 Rookwall                   12  4  3  5  10  13   -3  15
 12 Violence Tigers            12  3  5  4  12  13   -1  14
 13 Norpike                    12  4  2  6   9  17   -8  14
 14 East Slake                 12  4  1  7  13  17   -4  13
 15 Harbrook United            12  4  1  7  11  22  -11  13
 16 Riverkey                   12  3  3  6  12  13   -1  12
 17 Twelvetrees                12  2  3  7  14  20   -6   9
 18 Starrian                   12  2  3  7  12  21   -9   9
 19 Markoni                    12  2  3  7  16  26  -10   9
 20 Pridehome                  12  2  2  8  11  27  -16   8

by **Nephara** » Mon Nov 10, 2014 7:56 pm

Cypher Town have yet to really… begin the season, and sit bottom of the table with a single win a quarter of the way in. If they’re going to get a result against anyone, Ritter would make a good start - but the Stallions are on a rampage, Keller striking first on the counter-attack before Harrington and Woodrow also get on the scoresheet, in a match where Cypher… simply can’t get moving. West Brinemouth struggled massively for goals last season, and really historically in general. They appear to be getting over that with two Freuen goals against Chariots (and really, when will the rest of the squad start chipping in?) but also diverge from history in conceding five, and rather weakly crumbling in the face of Ritter and Walker up front. Leichhardt are evidently the new West Brinemouth, it seems, as they hack an ugly 2-0 win over Maximum Rovers, both goals coming from set piece headers. “They didn’t try to come out and play football at all,” remarked a disgusted Rachael Monroe after the game, but by the same token Rovers at no point came out to actually attempt to defend two rather easy corners.

See, Cypher? It isn’t so hard after all, Crisisbless seem to say, grabbing Ritter by the throat and shaking them until they give up six goals rather tamely. They do get a consolation, from Keller, but they’re four down even after that, and it becomes five not long after. Goodfeather similarly puts Maximum Rovers to the sword, while the other Rovers take part in a 3-4 thriller against the Moths. They’re 3-1 up by half-time, at which point Rachel Weixelbraun throws the dice and brings on Gerhard Thunder. One volleyed goal, one flicked-on header assist for Asquith and one goal for Kirsten Cliving because Thunder was reducing Taylor Lovelock to a mere curiosity in the greater spectrum of the Rovers’ defence to clear her way - even at 38, the big veteran striker can still change games.

Well, Brinemouth aren’t repeating any heroics tonight - Endeavour simply defend too stoutly and tightly for Brinemouth to poke any holes in their defence, and the Dockers, for their part, aren’t nearly so sturdy. Endeavour’s Farfish midfielders Terán and Tôr link up to bypass most of the Brinemouth midfield before Tôr’s low cross gives Danny Leighton an unmissable chance. Both Globe Cup clubs can do better at home - Treason give no quarter against Mortsey despite the highly-rated (locally, at least) defensive partnership of Barker and Harnett, which Kurtis Quinn strolls through for two goals before Flaccus adds a third from a cracking free kick, and the Dockers impressively win comfortably against Granger thanks to Keast and substitute Markus Stubbs.

Last match, Iron City were getting pumped 3-0 at home by Maximum City. The one before, North Laithland skewered them neatly 1-0. And before that, Raven River beat them 3-0 in Iron. The Moths beat them 2-0 in Sabrefell, Southfell beat them 4-0 playing away. You have to look back six matches to see the last time Iron City scored a goal, and didn’t lose a match - Vermillion, complacently, allowed them to get back in to a 2-2 draw. The point that this drives at is that Iron City are not only not very good but are coming into Brinemouth to face the champions in a moderately abysmal run of form. They leave it with a famous three-two win. What happened? Sepp Vauxhall (later declared man of the match for this and his defensive performances) leapt over Elaine Blackstock to dynamically head in a corner, before Teresa Wintergren threaded the gap between Stewart and Clough before cutting the ball back for an onrushing Wil Ripton to fire low past Colbright. Brinemouth did get by far the best of the match from that point, despite a quietly muttering home crowd, and scored just after the interval - a clearly out-of-sorts Norgen finally getting a strike on target, Redruth scrambling to parry it away, and Mahoney (one of the surprises of the season - if Nephara actually used wingers he’d be an easy choice to call up) sidefoots in. But Iron then manage another goal - Anna Reeve setting up Wintergren nicely for an easy goal of her own. Brinemouth do get another goal, Elaine Ashdown tactfully not celebrating against the team that gave her chances at regular first-team football as early as 18, but it’s not enough, and Iron depart with a win not so much historic as flat-out implausible.

The First and Second Division clubs make their entry and it is just a little sad to see South Laithland down there with them - yes, it’s true, that the rest of the league surpassed them with time. But they were still a Premiership staple in their day, and in Muscat and Grey both their goalscorers today are former Sabrefell Moths. They make somewhat heavy weather of it, but they’re still able to best Boleyn Town 3-2 at home. There’s a brutal culling of Conference sides - but none is moreso than Third Division Blaze’s 8-0 annihilation at the hands of First Division Creed United. On the whole, it’s a day that goes largely as expected, though it doesn’t go entirely without shocks - the largest of which is Newrook City vs. Brookford Otters. The Otters did fantastically well in the Cup and got annihilated, relegated, in the First Division - Newrook were also relegated, but they still felt a side including the likes of Cromwell and Bardsley up top, who scored a combined twenty in the Premiership last season, should account for the struggling Second Division side. At home. It isn’t so, as Brookford hold out for the ninety minutes - and 35-year old Delicious Johnson, who found himself a rather unlikely one of the top goalscorers in last season’s Cup, heads home a cross from another Premiership veteran in 30-year old rightback Lee Winters. The ground is, predictably, silent - and the Otters get to relive some of their old glories that seem so very distant now.

Well, all of the last match’s excitement wears away - Iron are punished for a defensive lapse in a dull game against Extreme Hills, Brinemouth outpass, outmaneuvre and overwhelm Goodfeather despite a fantastic goal from Reinhard Ironside. But there’s room in the other fixtures for excitement, and no, it’s not Cypher Town losing yet another winnable match, a 2-0 home defeat to Leichhardt - it’s a defeat that costs Olivia Dresback her job, leaving the reasonably-fancied Eagles having won once in sixteen matches. Sabrefell Athletic win a tense match against the Chariots 1-0, Bray scoring the only goal - perhaps a sign that the tides are shifting in Sabrefell yet again. But the real excitement is to be found in Treason - no, not a 1-1 draw between Chatswood and River, but Southfell shipping six and still scoring twice in a spirited match. Gethin Ramsey’s Stags came out looking to dominate, and Kurtis Quinn ultimately scored four times against a Southfell defence that really couldn’t handle ‘the Ferret’, as the nippy little striker’s been nicknamed of late.

Well, all the goodwill Brinemouth earned for their other plucky performances just evaporated. Much like their defence at home against FC Endeavour, in fact. The deficit stays at 1-0 (Rübéãn Tôr the scorer) in the first half, but then the blood starts to flow, and Zana Ibrox adds to the scoreline in the middle of a second-half Leighton hattrick. Colbright, Stewart, Blackstock and Breton form the core of Brinemouth’s defence - all internationally capped, and they all have nightmares. One might imagine Gethin Ramsey surveying the match footage with nothing short of contempt before going out to beat Mortsey comfortably in Jeckland - Quinn’s rested for the match against Sabrefell Athletic, but Schindler and Schneider both get on the scoresheet. Mortsey do put up more of a fight, testing Russ Miller decently a couple of times from range, but not much more of one. Granger, meanwhile edge Crisisbless in a tense affair at home - Flynn King, so often the hero in prior matches, plays the villain as he’s beaten at his near post for the first goal, and the Heelers’ attempts to fight back are for naught - Erick Khan equalises with a sweetly-placed shot, but a penalty is conceded soon after, and while King saves it with his chest it rolls right back at the taker. They don’t make a mistake twice, roll it in, and Granger have a group victory they badly needed.

Assistant manager Theseus Huth takes the reigns as Cypher manage to claw a 2-2 draw away at Goodfeather. It’s a good result, showcasing some of the attacking bite that they’ve been desperately lacking. There’s also a remarkable win in North Laithland, with Chatswood winning 3-0 in a match they had just 38% possession. “All about taking your chances,” said Tanith Bryson piously in the post-match interview; she scored the first, with impressive Fallenmark striker Gustaf Graz netting the others to finish a hapless Spider team off. The work is not yet done for Escher Speare - in fact, she’ll need to pick them up quickly if she’s to avoid the ignominy of a relegation battle.

Ah, the Sabrefell derby - blood is in the air, flares are on the ground, tensions are high and defences are fragile. Both of the Big Teams Of Sabrefell follow a roughly similar template these days, young squads good going forward with bad defences and acrobatic goalkeepers, which always makes for a good fixture - but it’s the Moths who are still in transition, and thanks to the practical nonexistant home advantage of a fixture so close, Athletic go in as favourite. But it’s the Moths who strike first - Peter Oliver the bull to Ryan Reagan’s china shop as he rises to head home a cross from the bright young rightback Sasha Christener. Reagan makes up for his weakness soon afterwards, though - as Bray’s shot is deflected off Yorke for a corner, Diandra Belgrave’s perfect corner allows Reagan to rise highest and nod it in with the slightest inclination of his head. The Moths press fiercely for a goal to restore their lead, Oliver missing from twelve yards, Cliving denied by Seward and Kellard hitting the bar, but it’s Athletic who get the lead, Martin Cilic releasing Bray, who is pressured out by Yorke but manages to cut it back for an onrushing Rowan Gawain to smash it past Peterson. The Moths do snatch an equaliser, Beck’s cross flicked back by Kellard and slashed past Seward by Cliving, but Athletic get the last laugh - Bowyer’s long throw leads to chaos in the Moths box, and Lucia Pembroke blatantly dragging down Bray when the Audioslav somehow gets unmarked possession. It’s a stonewall penalty, and Adrienne Eastway strikes low and hard to leave Equestrian international Peterson without a chance. The red half of Sabrefell, then, ecstatic - the Moths still with much to build on.

Brinemouth, well… they get pumped again. Nepharim international Bittencourt and Jean-Pierre de Roux each net a brace, though Brinemouth’s consolation goal (coming at 3-0) was the most attractive of the match, Kurt Mathias’ strike arcing beautifully over the Fontvielle goalkeeper from twenty-five yards. Treason fight their way to a 2-2 draw against Viztourzys Kolektyvinis, the Stags mounting a physical and muscular defence and attack against side somewhat diminished in recent years by some important… departures (the subject of Karsta Lupeikis is one best sidestepped in a politically neutral sport paper) - in all honesty, they’re a little fortunate to get a point, but they deserved some reward for the bravery with which they played. Meanwhile, the Ables and the Ordinaries of Ark have done astoundingly well to go unbeaten so far. That ends against Crisisbless, who show genuine ruthlessness in front of goal to put four past them, and by this stage it’s likely that both will progress together over the actual first and second seeds of the group.

This is it. This is the big one, the one marketed incessantly as not only a Northwestern derby but a clash between master Gethin Ramsey of AFC Treason and his long-time assistant, Escher Speare of North Laithland. The master, of course, has the best and deepest full squad in the league, while the apprentice is trying to rebuild the team that finished 15th last season, and predictably the Stags roll over the Spiders with all the force of a monster truck - Quinn scores twice, Flaccus nets the third, while Damien Arragne has a penalty pushed onto the post by Russ Miller. The Moths, incidentally, continue their patchy form by utterly annihilating the Ferrymen 5-1. It’s a quiet, even 2-1 that gives River plenty of chances to get back into the game until the last twenty minutes - then a triple substitution totally destroys River’s resistance, and it isn’t pretty. Also not pretty in an entirely different way is an amazingly dull and tedious game between two bad teams - grindy, unappealing long-ball merchants Leichhardt and grindy, unappealing defensive possession-retaining West Brinemouth. The only player who injects any life into the match is Nepharim U-21 Sheila Maddon, who seems far from isolated, but thriving - and when a long, swerving shot of hers finally beats Marisa Cronin as it smashes off the inside of the top-left corner and bounces into the net, everyone knows who to credit for the three points.

Was there a problem of not enough shocks? Well, this round put paid to that. Starting with the top, Sheridan manage to beat Violence Chariots at home - 21-year old Pravenna international Calisto Matraxis seems to be putting her Copa Rushmori experience to good use, and is hardly overawed by opposite number Brenecia international Cheney Keller. And Sheridan’s direct, defensive, combative 4-3-3 pays dividends, Matraxis scoring and assisting on two counterattacks. While in no way at all an upset, a first-ever derby between Parrhesia United and South Parrhesia becomes a good-natured match, and nobody’s too upset with South Parrhesia’s slightly offside consolation goal. The Wanderers look in shape to continue last season’s Cup heroics after a heroic comeback win over the Moths in extra time - Brookford, though, aren’t about to have another of their own, though it takes Iberia Chenoworth penalties to down them. Rochford outlast Sabrefell Athletic and hit them on the counter, Coret Hawks do the same to Vermillion Rage. No talk of outlasting between Masculine Town and Corvette Maulers - they exchange punches, three for the hosts, two for the Maulers, and go home. There’s even a couple of scalps within the Premiership itself - Chenoworth Rovers beat Maximum City on penalties, and Cypher Town manage to beat the Stags in Treason after extra time. And West Brinemouth, well… score three goals, perhaps not where they’re needed most, against Crisisbless United to win. Worthall, broadly considered one of the weakest sides in the Conference West, manage another shock win. It does, perhaps, help that they’ve not yet been drawn against a side stronger than the Third Division, but two Third Division sides (one away) and Downsparrow, who are among the favourites for promotion, is a respectable set of scalps. And there’s some thrillers on the cards as well - Chenoworth Harriers vs. Goodfeather FC is an uneasy homecoming for Tanya Bottlegreen, but it’s Bottlegreen who has the last laugh. It’s 2-2 after ninety minutes, the Harriers went ahead in extra time, and then Goodfeather were all over them - Bottlegreen assists Rettinger, then Bardsley, for the hard-earned victory. In a somewhat lower-profile clash, Mainstream Fist are held 1-1 by Nay Town until their superiority finally pays off. Jake Moresby scores a second, which opens the floodgates for him to complete his hattrick, before Claire Merson makes it four.

There’s something different about Treason this year. These past couple of years they’d always been too eager to stumble into 0-0 draws, they’d sometimes been overgenerous, and sometimes given away at the back. But here, playing the old enemy - Maximum ‘Fucking’ City - they showed no quarter. Either on a tactical level - their domination was supreme, allowing just one shot on target in a 2-0 win - or an emotional one, with players refusing to kick balls out for clear injuries, or help stretch out cramps. For once, it seems, Kurtis Quinn doesn’t score - creating plenty of chances, but denied by Jelic at every step - but Schneider and Connacht do, but the goals were going to come from somewhere given how much of the match was spent with City defending desperately. The foul count is not exactly low. “They’re a shit little club with an expiry date of maybe three, four years back,” remarked a grinning Gethin Ramsey at the post-match interview. “I didn’t tell the lads to do anything special. Knew we’d win even with a couple red cards, any one of our lads is worth two or three of them.” “Unsportsmanlike and unprofessional,” snorted opposite number Daniel Brunet. “Morally speaking, I think we all know who won this match.” Perhaps he shouldn’t talk until he sees the replay of a certain Paul Donagh digging his studs into a fallen Roque Acosta’s thigh…

So apparently Nepharim clubs are the bogey teams of Polarian ones - which is strange, given that Polarians largely play like technically superior versions of Nepharim. Brinemouth thought an away draw was cause for celebration and, perhaps, progress from the group - which of course didn’t happen as Endeavour and Fontvielle condemned them to four defeats, but apparently playing with freedom allowed them to triumph over superior opposition. And a somewhat more direct approach at times helped - Darek Norgen edged by Griffons captain Vladimir Lucic and stuck out a boot to poke home Watt’s sweeping low cross. Gustaf Kolehmainen defied the tight (for once) Brinemouth defence to lash home an equaliser, but Elaine Ashdown managed a sharp drive into the bottom corner to ensure Brinemouth entered the break with the lead, before muscular midfield substitute Chris Christon rose dynamically to head home a sweetly-struck corner. It wasn’t enough for them to progress, but at least Brinemouth escape with some pride. Treason, facing Rovers United for the fourth time this season, managed a second-half comeback through Quinn (again!) and Connacht to finish the group stages with five wins and a draw, while Crisisbless manage to beat their own Polarian opponents. Yet again, they marked very tightly and broke forward quickly and decisively in what was a very cautious match that could’ve gone either way. You could sense there was a goal in it for one side, and it was Birgit Sternberg who ultimately got it, cutting inside after drifting out wide to latch onto a forward pass and firing low and hard with her first touch. Both Treason and Crisisbless progress - but Brinemouth can look back at a campaign where they managed a few shocks, a few good successes, and knuckle down to focus on the league.

Iron somehow manage not to get destroyed by an actually good team yet again - this time, it’s the Stags held to a frustrating draw. Admittedly, they’re resting a few players, but the likes of Lily Schinder, Markus Anderton or Olenna Carrick should still have had enough about them to deal with… this. Meanwhile in nearby Maximum, just like last season, both Big Sabrefell Giants (™) visit the Maximum sides. This time, however, both win - the Moths resoundingly destroying the Smiths 3-0, two goals from Kellard after Rook Asquith opened the scoring. The Rovers do respectably well against a powerful Athletic, but Seb Seward’s equal to all their attempts up front and it takes a simple flick from Belgrave to release Bray for the goal. The Rovers have continued to struggle more than a team with literally six internationals in their first eleven ought to, but they have looked good in fits and starts this season, denied by bad luck and defensive lapses - manager Rachael Monroe glowers after the goal as though she wants to fire Mark Graves into the sun.

A solid set of matches, but the best viewing can be seen in Parrhesia - where the Spiders finally click at the front, though thanks to some great long passing through Brighton Lovelock. It’s two assertive, attack-minded short-passing sides, and the results are predictable - Parrhesia the better side going forward, but with flaky defenders who genuinely struggle to deal with Lovelock’s long passes or the cutbacks of Leighton and Rafferty. It’s the substitute Bazinho, however, who makes the real difference - the second-generation Sunrisian immigrant brought down by Alabaster for a penalty which Lovelock converts for the 3-2, before half-volleying home a Rafferty cross for the equaliser. In fits and spurts under Escher Speare, North Laithland are starting to show some promise...

Brinemouth and Chatswood played each other in the last match of the season, and the Dockers, well, overmatched their opponents. But this time it’s the Woodsmen who honestly have the better of the match, and are unlucky that a late Kurt Mathias goal denies them the win. Mikko Haagensen is, yet again, pivotal - he probably wasn’t expecting to taste UICA football again, but honestly, they’re looking like they might just make it this season. North Laithland, meanwhile, continue their recovery in a dominating affair against Maximum Rovers. Mark Graves is sent off, the Rovers get pressed further and further back (and, to be fair, a tactic of ‘Harper blasts the ball at now-lone striker Illich-Svitych, who tries to get a shot off’ forces Corren into a couple of scrambling reflex saves) and the goal is inevitable, Arragne finishing a long string of passes by tapping into an empty net.

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                     P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 AFC Treason             23  18  2   3  48  18  +30  56
  2 Crisisbless             23  13  6   4  36  19  +17  45
  3 Brinemouth              23  12  8   3  39  24  +15  44
  4 Southfell United        23  13  4   6  44  29  +15  43
  5 Sabrefell Athletic      23  13  4   6  30  17  +13  43
  6 Chatswood               23  11  8   4  30  22   +8  41
  7 Violence Chariots       23  12  4   7  50  28  +22  40
  8 Maximum City            23  10  8   5  22  15   +7  38
  9 Sabrefell Moths         23  11  3   9  36  34   +2  36
 10 Goodfeather FC          23  10  5   8  40  31   +9  35
 11 Raven River             23  10  5   8  25  27   -2  35
 12 Chenoworth Rovers       23   9  4  10  27  29   -2  31
 13 North Laithland         23   8  6   9  21  29   -8  30
 14 Extreme Hills           23   8  5  10  30  32   -2  29
 15 Leichhardt              23   8  4  11  22  28   -6  28
 16 Parrhesia United        23   7  6  10  30  31   -1  27
 17 Vermillion Rage         23   6  8   9  41  40   +1  26
 18 Maximum Rovers          23   7  5  11  22  30   -8  26
 19 Ritter Town             23   7  1  15  30  50  -20  22
 20 Corvette Maulers        23   6  3  14  24  44  -20  21
 21 Crisisbless United      23   5  5  13  24  39  -15  20
 22 West Brinemouth         23   5  5  13  21  36  -15  20
 23 Iron City               23   5  3  15  15  41  -26  18
 24 Cypher Town             23   3  6  14  18  32  -14  15

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                       P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Vermillion Wanderers      23  16   4   3  57  20  +37  52
  2 Cranequin Wanderers       23  14   5   4  41  18  +23  47
  3 Martella Jazz             23  12   6   5  35  18  +17  42
  4 Coret Hawks               23  12   6   5  30  18  +12  42
  5 Chenoworth Harriers       23  12   5   6  36  25  +11  41
  6 Newrook City              23   9   9   5  29  29   +0  36
  7 Cranequin City            23   8  11   4  22  17   +5  35
  8 AFC Serpentine            23   8  10   5  46  33  +13  34
  9 Sheridan                  23   8  10   5  18  16   +2  34
 10 Starling                  23   8   9   6  37  33   +4  33
 11 Rochford                  23   9   6   8  22  24   -2  33
 12 South Laithland           23   8   8   7  22  16   +6  32
 13 Bishop                    23   9   5   9  28  24   +4  32
 14 West Hook                 23   9   4  10  18  19   -1  31
 15 AFC Shale                 23   7  10   6  20  22   -2  31
 16 AFC Integabad             23   7   9   7  19  20   -1  30
 17 Leopolis Hatemongers      23   7   6  10  28  29   -1  27
 18 Sutcroft                  23   6   9   8  24  31   -7  27
 19 Creed United              23   6   8   9  34  44  -10  26
 20 Franchise FC              23   6   4  13  20  44  -24  22
 21 Locksley                  23   4   5  14  16  41  -25  17
 22 Hackett                   23   3   6  14  20  42  -22  15
 23 Crossroads Town           23   3   5  15  19  37  -18  14
 24 Mainstream Fist           23   2   6  15  20  41  -21  12

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Dross Rovers                 23  15   4   4  47  20  +27  49
  2 South Parrhesia              23  14   6   3  37  16  +21  48
  3 Ox River United              23  13   2   8  36  27   +9  41
  4 Iron United                  23  12   4   7  39  25  +14  40
  5 East Laithland Harriers      23  12   4   7  33  28   +5  40
  6 Strephonage                  23  11   6   6  34  21  +13  39
  7 North Sabrefell              23  12   3   8  38  26  +12  39
  8 Coret Rovers                 23  12   3   8  39  35   +4  39
  9 Dubstep Rangers              23  11   5   7  28  27   +1  38
 10 Boleyn Town                  23  10   5   8  25  19   +6  35
 11 Project +90                  23   9   8   6  35  30   +5  35
 12 North Dubstep                23   9   6   8  27  29   -2  33
 13 Armstrong                    23   9   3  11  30  33   -3  30
 14 Iberia Chenoworth            23   9   1  13  32  33   -1  28
 15 Gridlock Rovers              23   7   7   9  27  30   -3  28
 16 Crisisbless Athletic         23   5  11   7  27  27   +0  26
 17 Rhagant Schadenfreude        23   7   5  11  19  28   -9  26
 18 Rushe United                 23   8   2  13  30  48  -18  26
 19 Brookford Otters             23   6   6  11  19  26   -7  24
 20 South Brill                  23   7   3  13  31  42  -11  24
 21 Belgrave                     23   6   4  13  17  35  -18  22
 22 Falston Town                 23   4   9  10  14  28  -14  21
 23 Masculine Town               23   4   7  12  16  27  -11  19
 24 Corby Hubris                 23   5   4  14  21  41  -20  19

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                    P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Long Lake              23  15  3   5  38  18  +20  48
  2 Senway Town            23  14  4   5  43  25  +18  46
  3 Kensey Town            23  14  3   6  51  24  +27  45
  4 Brindleton             23  11  7   5  36  25  +11  40
  5 Forge Carpenters       23  11  6   6  27  18   +9  39
  6 Gridlock East          23  11  5   7  39  26  +13  38
  7 Chaker Town            23  10  8   5  25  17   +8  38
  8 Vermillion Spite       23  10  4   9  26  24   +2  34
  9 Blaze                  23  10  4   9  31  30   +1  34
 10 Sutcroft Athletic      23  10  3  10  29  26   +3  33
 11 Geoff United           23   9  5   9  21  22   -1  32
 12 Fenland Albion         23   8  7   8  27  25   +2  31
 13 Gridlock               23   8  7   8  22  20   +2  31
 14 Ringway                23   9  4  10  34  33   +1  31
 15 Stonegrave             23   8  7   8  23  22   +1  31
 16 Mantlegrove            23   8  5  10  15  28  -13  29
 17 Courser                23   8  4  11  17  24   -7  28
 18 Diamondqueen           23   7  6  10  22  27   -5  27
 19 Reckdale Town          23   7  6  10  24  40  -16  27
 20 Camwell Road           23   8  3  12  19  35  -16  27
 21 FC United              23   6  6  11  16  26  -10  24
 22 Brookway Town          23   7  3  13  21  34  -13  24
 23 Stamper Road           23   5  5  13  21  34  -13  20
 24 Nay Town               23   2  5  16  15  39  -24  11

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                     P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 The Strongest           23  13  6   4  52  27  +25  45
  2 Southriver              23  13  5   5  39  27  +12  44
  3 Dartmouth Terriers      23  12  5   6  39  22  +17  41
  4 Bellamy                 23  12  5   6  24  14  +10  41
  5 Harrington              23  13  2   8  35  31   +4  41
  6 Stekelenbright          23  11  6   6  29  25   +4  39
  7 Kommissar               23  10  8   5  30  21   +9  38
  8 Grovebank               23  10  6   7  31  22   +9  36
  9 Lackerrun               23   8  7   8  32  29   +3  31
 10 Crisisbless Ermac       23   9  4  10  29  32   -3  31
 11 Haymaker Town           23   8  5  10  18  21   -3  29
 12 Thratewood              23   7  7   9  22  28   -6  28
 13 Perrett                 23   7  5  11  27  32   -5  26
 14 Barcastle Rovers        23   7  5  11  22  31   -9  26
 15 Tryst Athletic          23   7  4  12  32  35   -3  25
 16 Norton Road             23   7  4  12  24  29   -5  25
 17 Virginia Treason        23   6  6  11  16  28  -12  24
 18 Ramsay                  23   7  2  14  20  37  -17  23
 19 Huysegem                23   6  5  12  15  33  -18  23
 20 Worthall                23   5  7  11  20  32  -12  22

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Greygate                   23  14  5   4  44  19  +25  47
  2 Bodkin Road                23  14  3   6  41  17  +24  45
  3 Downsparrow                23  12  8   3  43  21  +22  44
  4 Getton Town                23  12  4   7  39  25  +14  40
  5 Morningstar                23  11  7   5  36  24  +12  40
  6 Fischer                    23  11  5   7  32  26   +6  38
  7 De La Patria               23  11  4   8  31  23   +8  37
  8 Inner-East Fairywrens      23  11  4   8  27  20   +7  37
  9 Riverkey                   23  10  5   8  26  24   +2  35
 10 Leo                        23   9  6   8  25  30   -5  33
 11 Harbrook United            23  10  3  10  21  30   -9  33
 12 Sandrock                   23   8  5  10  19  22   -3  29
 13 Violence Tigers            23   7  8   8  24  28   -4  29
 14 Rookwall                   23   8  4  11  23  28   -5  28
 15 Norpike                    23   8  2  13  19  32  -13  26
 16 East Slake                 23   7  3  13  23  34  -11  24
 17 Pridehome                  23   6  4  13  27  45  -18  22
 18 Twelvetrees                23   5  5  13  19  34  -15  20
 19 Starrian                   23   4  7  12  17  31  -14  19
 20 Markoni                    23   4  4  15  23  46  -23  16

by **Nephara** » Tue Nov 11, 2014 9:34 pm

It’s a much-diminished lineup of Premiership clubs able to contest the Fifth Round, and it doesn’t help their numbers when they often end up drawn against each other again - West Brinemouth surprisingly knocks out Chenoworth Rovers away, thanks to a Robyn Burnley fumble which highlights the exact reason why the Rovers spent so much on a new main goalkeeper in Gerry Malone, and Chatswood surprisingly account for Crisisbless. Brand Finnan manages a double-save from a penalty, and it’s Gustav Graz who poaches the winner off an excellent Firth cross. Ritter, meanwhile, surprisingly manage a victory over Goodfeather FC on penalties - Caravella was the penalty hero last season, but now she’s the club’s starter with Willans getting the run-out in Cup fixtures, and while he saves two, Andrea Curran saves two of her own and watches a third miss. Cypher can’t pull off another upset, this time brought down by Raven River, and Leichhardt somehow find four goals in them to bring down a heavily-rotated Extreme Hills without conceding. With five more Premiership clubs down through the luck of the draw, the few that are left manage to fight their corner, and while it’s a close-run thing for North Laithland who rely on extra time to beat Falston Town it’s rather more clear-cut for Brinemouth, who destroy South Laithland 5-1. Meanwhile, somehow many of the scalpers from last round get drawn against each other as well - Cranequin Wanderers and Rochford both beat Premiership teams, but it’s Rochford who take this round through Matt Newark’s strike - off the crossbar and in over Moira Gorrister. It’s a similar story between Coret Hawks and Masculine Town, who also accounted for Premiership sides, and there it comes down to penalties. It’s a poor set of them, but Masculine manage to win despite two outright misses. Sheridan shred Iberia Chenoworth 5-0, buoyed by last round’s victory over Violence Chariots, and yet again Calisto Matraxis is outstanding - hitherto thought to be a pure pace player with little technique, she’s looking fantastic these past few matches… a Premiership player someday soon, perhaps? Finally, Worthall’s fortunate-but-plucky run to the Fourth Round ends with AFC Integabad, as the pink and black dispatch them 3-0 with cool Teutonic efficiency.

West Brinemouth get… well, in all honesty, brutally pumped by Brinemouth for three goals that could’ve been five or six. Marisa Cronin made several great saves, and yet her fumbling a long Ashdown shot gave Mahoney a tap-in. And yet it is, as usual, the Maximum derby which provides all the fireworks. Daniel Brunet’s under-fire Smiths had to be at their best to fight back against the Maximum Rovers, who were at their best. It was two veterans who showed the way for the Rovers - Cormorant Catheline Harper and Tern Vadim Illich-Svitych. The Polarian striker has thrived from the presence of someone who can get the ball exactly where he wants it, and as for his own contribution? “The ball sticks to him, nobody can snatch that from him,” said Rachael Monroe admiringly after his man-of-the-match performance, scoring twice and threatening a hattrick. “But I’d like some attention to that late penalty… was that a dive from Martinho? Well, yes,” she adds, helpfully answering her own question. And, yes, he was certainly looking for the contact from Graves - but either way, it was a point Brunet needed. Badly. And in their current form, the Rovers will take it.

Crisisbless United were floundering, and they need a win in the six-pointer against Ritter Town. They get that and more, annihilating the Stallions - Rourke sliding home a low Mueller cross, then Mueller scoring a brace of his own before Theodora Strachan struck a thunderbolt past Johanna Cunningham. What was also impressive was that, for once, United actually defended stoutly and tightly, and as a unit. A vital win, and another came at the other end of the table for Crisisbless, who convincingly beat Sabrefell Athletic 3-0. Athletic have looked impressive so often this season, but apparently not in Crisisbless, and they’re very much second-best. It gives Crisisbless a much-needed boost as Chatswood manage to triumph over city rivals Treason through a Tanith Bryson brace. Chatswood seem to have polished a few rough diamonds over the past couple of years - Haagensen was a known quality, but the likes of Bryson, Stubbs, Shrike - and now it’s the youths Lundgren and Graz making the difference. They have, in a very quiet way, become a UICA contender.

Cypher Town might have enjoyed a minor resurgence of late, but they’re still dismal - they’re fresh off being torn to pieces 4-0 at home by a clinical Raven River. They need a victory to come from somewhere, anywhere - but probably weren’t expecting it to come from North Laithland. The Spiders were perhaps complacent after running their way to a 2-0 scoreline within 15 minutes, then a 3-1 scoreline by halftime. But Cypher called upon a reserve of spirit and bravery that has not been drawn upon at any other point this season in order to scrape a barely-deserved victory - credit is due at the back to Cath Gilchrist for keeping down the scoreline and at the front to Bror Helmensun for leading the charge back to level pegging before scoring the winner in the 82nd minute.

Well, they promised it would be tight. And while the Stags are… kind of running away with the league at the moment, it’s Brinemouth who take home the three points, a match that is the usual battle of opposites. But all the physical defending and tight marking in the world won’t stop Elaine Ashdown pulling the strings, bringing James Watt into the game with a beautifully-threaded forward pass before the cutback to Norgen, controlled with a tight first touch before being smashed past Miller. If Brinemouth are to get their title challenge up and running, there’s no better start than this. Is the comeback on?

Brinemouth and Chatswood have shared a few fights, but this is a particularly sweet win for the Woodsmen in which neither side really rests anyone besides the traditional choice of backup goalkeepers - an early lead through Bryson, a hard-fought battle for seventy-five minutes before Felix Schwarzenegger cruelly smashes home a last-minute equaliser. But Chatswood regain the upper hand during extra time, though they can’t score, and when it comes to penalties? Young Brand Finnan tips two over the bar, and Chatswood have their win. Ritter, prepared to join them, have probable victory snatched from them in extra time by a dour, defensive but opportunistic Rochford. They do, in all honesty, need their wins in the league more. Sheridan’s dynamic Cup run ends with Cranequin City, who still haven’t really recovered from their fateful sojourn into the Premiership - but one reminder of those times in former Sabrefell Moth Roy Chalker nets the only goal, neatly chipping the goalkeeper from twenty-five yards. Southfell are resting their own veteran attacking midfielder, but backup Claire Rusland still has a decent enough game in a tight contest against Raven River. But Brandon Roberts, eager to fight for the number one jersey at River, keeps his club in the game before saving a penalty and watching another stubbed into the ground before bouncing pathetically off-target, and it’s the Ferrymen who progress. Parrhesia rest what is in hindsight too many players against Gridlock, who take an early goal from an Alastair Brun error and park the bus for the rest of the match. Gridlock, who are literally a Third Division club (and an average one at that) playing away to a Premiership club, hold out until the 38th minute, concede once (to Cath Rivers after a clever, slaloming run) and hold out until extra time before collapsing - they only take two shots all game, one on target, but they did well with the hand they got. West Brinemouth play most of their first team and get the better of a complacent North Laithland - they’re resting Brighton Lovelock, and he’s needed to tell the entire rest of the back six how to actually defend, and as a result they’re expertly pincushioned by Daniel Freuen - who is surely good enough to be a Premiership regular on most sides, should the Gulls go down - and Glyn Reuben - who isn’t. First Division AFC Integabad flex their advantage over Second Division Masculine Town in an efficient 3-1 win despite giving away two penalties (one scored, one hitting the crossbar impressively), while Bishop chalk up another upset, though honestly not too much of one given that Bishop are a strong First Division side playing at home. But Leichhardt haven’t been the Premiership pushovers most expected, and it’s a surprise to see them concede late goals - one in the 88th minute, one in the 118th - as they’re a club that prides themselves on defending solid and alert the whole match. “We got arrogant,” said an exasperated Lyn Hartmann in the post-match interview, “about a club that we shared a division with half a season ago.”

The comeback is off. Brinemouth take an early two-nil lead over Southfell United, but the Tanners have, bluntly, been amazing ever since their return to the top flight. Much of this, of course, is due to Dale Brightley, and it’s the 33-year old with over a hundred Nepharim caps who scores both goals - one is a direct free kick after Arron Stewart kicks Paula Gannon just outside the box and picks up a yellow card, the other is a penalty after Arron Stewart kicks Paula Gannon just inside the box and picks up a second yellow card. Colbright can’t get to the penalty, Brinemouth switch to 4-3-2 and can only watch as Colbright keeps them in the match, and it’s another Southfell veteran and Baptism of Fire winner - Leyland Stallion, 34 years old and with seven caps - who threatens time and time again. And Brinemouth fans start checking their phones, as just a few miles north Treason are putting Sabrefell ‘We’re In Transition, Please Spare Our Lives’ Moths to the sword, 4-0. Rachel Weixelbraun’s plans seem to revolve around getting young players to do the jobs her veterans were last season, and if her goal was parity before a slow buildup, that seems to be solid - she’s rebuilding the Moths around their academy. But at times, it’s slow and painful going. Treason are given a further boost when it turns out that their fierce rivals, Maximum City, beat their main title rivals Crisisbless with a Georgia Kite header. Surely, surely, they can’t drop the ball here.

It’s an exact rematch of the recent Cup tie - West Brinemouth host North Laithland, and this time the Spiders aren’t bringing their B-team. As a result, North Laithland tear the Gulls apart at the seams, Sedgwick and Rafferty - neither of whom started in the Cup - scoring the goals and Arragne threatening several were it not for poor finishing. Meanwhile, Cypher Town almost get a win that’s crucial, but ultimately take an injury to the cruciate - specifically, Cheney Launceston’s, and the unfortunate central midfielder is out for the rest of the season. That is precisely not what Cypher needed, and nor are the two goals that followed - .Croft Drinkwater might be 34, but his positioning still gets him into the right places, and if the entire rest of Extreme Hills Association Football Club can do the running, passing and defensive work that he won’t, he’ll stick it into the back of the net. Specifically, twice, against Cypher Town. And in the background to all this, Sabrefell Moths smash Brinemouth and grab a win in a very tight, even match - Kirsten Cliving strikes a rocket on the counter-attack just outside the box that Tana Colbright can’t get more than a hand to.

Today’s a good day for crushing defeats. Emotionally, for Brinemouth - Athletic eventually win a hard-fought midfield battle, and a first-time shot from Rowan Gawain wins them the game - by sheer scoreline for Ritter Town, who get pumped five-nil by the Moths, Michael Kellard scoring a headed hattrick. It happened in northern Vermillion, Treason crushing Parrhesia 4-0, and it happened, perhaps most surprisingly, in Maximum. And no, it wasn’t a flaccid 1-1 draw between City and West Brinemouth, but in a season where Rovers are struggling to string good performances together, they somehow find it within themselves to shut down Violence Chariots. The Chariots have had a frustratingly quiet season in general, but Jess Leinster, Nate Walker and the like are always dangerous. Adrian Middleton (still refusing to discuss a new contract) makes a couple of sharp saves, Catheline Harper saves the day yet again and the patchy Reinhard Drake has his shooting boots on for the first time in a couple of weeks. Helped, of course, by yet another great performance from Vadim Illich-Svitych, though he doesn’t get on the scoresheet. But the Chariots are missing the Osarian Riviello through suspension, and Illich-Svitych completely overawes the young, inexperienced deputy Daniel Cox throughout the match - and that gives Drake all the room in the world, at times.

The Crisisbless derby strikes up again, and it’s… well, it’s a 1-1 draw. And it’s one that United, playing away, will gladly take - Andreas Rourke putting them ahead in the 6th minute with a crisply-taken drive, and a defence diminished by injuries manages to hold the line, Sternberg scoring an equaliser but keeping tight beyond that. And who comes on in the 74th minute but Constantine Synge, resident go-to villain of last season? And yes, in the 75th minute he already has a yellow card for annihilating Luxulya St. Cleer with a blatantly late tackle. And is sent off in the 89th, for much the same offense on substitute Mark Grayson. In the commentary box, Rook Harm - hardly a saint himself during his playing days - can barely contain his glee. Synge was knocked down to fourth-choice since late last season, he’s had few chances to crow at how terrible he was, so he makes the best of the airtime he has. “Gutless brainless spineless coward,” he roars triumphantly as Synge trudges sullenly off the pitch, as physios help Grayson to limp onto the touchline. “Useless idiot wanker.” But the Heelers can’t capitalise in extra time, despite a fantastic St. Cleer long shot being tipped over by a spectacular Juergen Swallowtail, and the scores end level.

Chatswood and River get the easy gigs, picking up First Division clubs to face, and hell, West Brinemouth will probably be one next season too. Both of the former two run up breezy 2-0 leads, and a meek Rochford cede approximately 70% of the pitch to the Sky Blues. Lineker’s squad responds by viciously tearing them up, and continuing to brutally kick them when they try to get ideas above their station. “They’re proper cunts, all of them,” says a bitter Rupert Tanglewood, 34-year old captain - he and Mackay in central defence were the only two outfielders to keep brave in the face of danger, along with goalkeeper Lukas Emery, and both of the defenders were regular starters during Rochford’s Premiership campaign. “They should try kicking the ball someday.” When Lineker’s informed of his comments post-match, she laughs. “Four words, Tangles - cry, some, fucking, more.” Cranequin’s resistance is somewhat fiercer - but they just lack the quality at the end of the day, and it’s yet another good performance from Brandon Roberts - one senses Fitzmarten’s last league start for River grows ever closer. Parrhesia shut down West Brinemouth, who seem content to limit the damage away before, presumably, some sort of victory at home, while AFC Integabad’s victory over Bishop has a touch of fortune about it. To the tune, specifically, of a blatant Feodore Teuton handball in the box, missed by every referee but seen by all 23 players and the entire away section of the crowd. But both their goals were classy, ball-worked-into-box affairs, and they defended solidly enough. If there was an aspect of luck (which there was), well, you make your own luck.

Crisisbless United get yet another good result, coming back from 2-1 down to beat Chenoworth Rovers. Gerry Malone keeps the scoreline down with some impressive saves, and he has in general been a massive success for the Rovers, and yet he’s beaten at his near post by Ash Moltke for the winner. The Rovers have roughly continued to be the least exciting club in the league - not in terms of a lack of goals, as they aren’t too bad for value for money, they just have a mind-numbing stability about them. You won’t find that in the other, more exciting Maximum Rovers - they concede twice in the last ten minutes to the Moths to lose what seemed like a certain 0-0 draw, judging by the finishing on display.

The Stags hold out against a second-half onslaught to go into the home leg even against SC Oceanside - they go out to an early lead, 2-0 through Kurtis Quinn and, to the away crowd’s joy, Cathy Stokes. The club and former national captain has had to fight Esther Cardiff for her place in the squad, but the 32-year old can’t complain about the competition given her age, and her thunderous strike is a boost to everyone. Ramsey sets his troops to hold out, and while the hosts’ first goal has a touch of fortune about it - it glances heavily off Asbjorn Tachibana’s back to bounce past a helpless Miller - their second, in the 79th minute, is richly deserved on the run of play. 2-2 is a fair result, but the Stags will feel confident about winning the home leg. Crisisbless attempted to shut down the Phoenix, and they were, well, successful - though they owe Karl Finnan a world of debt for several crucial headers and challenges. Luxulya St. Cleer scored on the counter-attack, and they’ll take a 1-0 result against the Commerce Heights giants. But Kagoshima still go into their home leg as heavy favourites, and the Heelers will need to defend every bit as stoutly.

‘Poor man’s Brinemouth indeed’ - well, Parrhesia were flying high after beating Brinemouth 5-2 at home, and now they’ve gone and beaten them 4-3 away, too. Brinemouth’s combination of a very strong attack and a fairly strong defence simply isn’t pure enough for the likes of Parrhesia, who prefer the combination of a strong attack and a glaring weakness in defence, and it’s only by going all-out that they rack up a 3-0 lead within 38 minutes. Brinemouth get the better of the game after that point, but the Saints do just about enough to stay in the game before Gerhard Driscoll thunders in a winner cutting inside. Driscoll’s former club, West Brinemouth, flounders against the third and weakest of the ‘4-3-3, where the ‘3-3’ stands for ‘ATTACK, ATTACK!’’ trifecta, and Crisisbless United chalk up a comfortable 3-1 win. Daniel Freuen looks increasingly frustrated with the lack of any help he gets from anyone on the team, but in this match at least it’s Kanye Mourinho’s free kick that gets the consolation goal. And this is the final straw for the board - Russ Austin, Manager of the Year so very recently, is fired. “It’s a strange decision,” he says idly to the press. “We’re going down anyway - and I’m just about the only person who could shape this mess into a club again. What do the board expect when they throw me peanuts? This club should never have been promoted in the first place, I’m being punished for overachievement, it’s a disgrace.” There’s a chance, a slight possibility, that Russ Austin may or may not be mad.

AFC Treason, all according to plan, brought out their best squad and rolled over SC Oceanside, whose consolation goal was rifled in smartly and neatly when already 4-0 down. Sadly, Crisisbless won’t be joining them in the next round - the Heelers held out mightily in the first half, but in the second? They conceded one, at last, and then the floodgates opened. But they can hold their heads high, on the whole - they’ve exceeded expectations, and done Nephara proud.

Crisisbless United are now undefeated in eight. It’s remarkable, and has lifted them out of what was looking like a desperate relegation struggle. They do, in fact, leapfrog Vermillion Rage with a 2-1 win here. Treason rest… a lot of their squad after beating Oceanside, but really? Even after a 1-1 draw with Cypher, while Crisisbless beat Violence in an impressive, end-to-end game marked by flamboyant goalkeeping, they’re still eleven points clear at the top. They’ve often dropped points before or after UICA matches, but Ramsey’s recruitment policy of going for young, local squad players to grow into the next first team has paid massive dividends. At the other end of the table, Leichhardt have a five-point lead on Ritter Town, nine on West Brinemouth, ten on Iron and thirteen on Cypher. Even in the First Division it’s fairly clear that Vermillion Wanderers, eight points clear at the top, will certainly clinch a promotion at the very least. This season has produced some great football, but it certainly hasn’t been close-run.

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                     P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 AFC Treason             34  25   4   5  68  23  +45  79
  2 Crisisbless             34  20   8   6  56  28  +28  68
  3 Sabrefell Athletic      34  20   5   9  48  27  +21  65
  4 Brinemouth              34  18  10   6  60  37  +23  64
  5 Chatswood               34  18   9   7  47  31  +16  63
  6 Southfell United        34  16   9   9  59  48  +11  57
  7 Violence Chariots       34  16   6  12  61  45  +16  54
  8 Sabrefell Moths         34  16   5  13  53  46   +7  53
  9 Raven River             34  15   8  11  44  40   +4  53
 10 Goodfeather FC          34  15   6  13  55  44  +11  51
 11 Maximum City            34  12  14   8  32  27   +5  50
 12 North Laithland         34  13   8  13  40  44   -4  47
 13 Chenoworth Rovers       34  14   4  16  43  49   -6  46
 14 Extreme Hills           34  13   5  16  45  48   -3  44
 15 Parrhesia United        34  11  10  13  50  50   +0  43
 16 Crisisbless United      34  12   7  15  45  55  -10  43
 17 Vermillion Rage         34  10  11  13  58  55   +3  41
 18 Maximum Rovers          34  11   7  16  35  43   -8  40
 19 Corvette Maulers        34   9   9  16  40  62  -22  36
 20 Leichhardt              34   9   8  17  27  40  -13  35
 21 Ritter Town             34   9   3  22  39  72  -33  30
 22 West Brinemouth         34   6   8  20  27  57  -30  26
 23 Iron City               34   7   4  23  24  61  -37  25
 24 Cypher Town             34   4  10  20  30  54  -24  22

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                       P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Vermillion Wanderers      34  21   7   6  77  37  +40  70
  2 Cranequin Wanderers       34  18   8   8  51  25  +26  62
  3 Coret Hawks               34  18   7   9  44  29  +15  61
  4 Chenoworth Harriers       34  18   7   9  51  37  +14  61
  5 Newrook City              34  16  10   8  44  43   +1  58
  6 Cranequin City            34  14  13   7  40  29  +11  55
  7 Martella Jazz             34  15   9  10  48  34  +14  54
  8 Bishop                    34  16   6  12  45  35  +10  54
  9 South Laithland           34  14  11   9  40  23  +17  53
 10 Rochford                  34  14   9  11  34  34   +0  51
 11 Starling                  34  11  14   9  62  52  +10  47
 12 AFC Serpentine            34  11  13  10  61  49  +12  46
 13 West Hook                 34  12  10  12  32  32   +0  46
 14 AFC Integabad             34  11  12  11  27  26   +1  45
 15 AFC Shale                 34  10  14  10  31  32   -1  44
 16 Sheridan                  34  10  14  10  24  26   -2  44
 17 Creed United              34  10  10  14  43  54  -11  40
 18 Franchise FC              34  10   8  16  28  53  -25  38
 19 Leopolis Hatemongers      34   9  10  15  37  44   -7  37
 20 Sutcroft                  34   8  12  14  36  48  -12  36
 21 Mainstream Fist           34   8   7  19  34  52  -18  31
 22 Hackett                   34   6   8  20  30  68  -38  26
 23 Locksley                  34   4  12  18  26  56  -30  24
 24 Crossroads Town           34   5   7  22  27  54  -27  22

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 South Parrhesia              34  22   7   5  51  22  +29  73
  2 Dross Rovers                 34  20   8   6  73  33  +40  68
  3 Iron United                  34  20   6   8  61  32  +29  66
  4 North Sabrefell              34  17   7  10  56  37  +19  58
  5 East Laithland Harriers      34  17   6  11  49  43   +6  57
  6 Strephonage                  34  16   7  11  51  35  +16  55
  7 Iberia Chenoworth            34  17   2  15  52  48   +4  53
  8 Ox River United              34  16   5  13  45  42   +3  53
  9 Boleyn Town                  34  13  10  11  33  29   +4  49
 10 Coret Rovers                 34  14   7  13  50  50   +0  49
 11 Crisisbless Athletic         34  11  13  10  40  36   +4  46
 12 Project +90                  34  11  12  11  56  54   +2  45
 13 Brookford Otters             34  13   6  15  36  36   +0  45
 14 Rhagant Schadenfreude        34  11  12  11  34  37   -3  45
 15 Gridlock Rovers              34  10  12  12  41  44   -3  42
 16 Dubstep Rangers              34  11   9  14  30  45  -15  42
 17 Armstrong                    34  10   9  15  38  46   -8  39
 18 South Brill                  34  11   6  17  52  64  -12  39
 19 Falston Town                 34   8  13  13  32  40   -8  37
 20 North Dubstep                34  10   7  17  33  51  -18  37
 21 Rushe United                 34  10   4  20  44  74  -30  34
 22 Masculine Town               34   7  11  16  19  32  -13  32
 23 Belgrave                     34   8   8  18  22  42  -20  32
 24 Corby Hubris                 34   9   5  20  38  64  -26  32

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Senway Town            34  22   5   7  60  33  +27  71
  2 Long Lake              34  21   4   9  51  28  +23  67
  3 Chaker Town            34  17  10   7  41  25  +16  61
  4 Kensey Town            34  18   6  10  64  36  +28  60
  5 Fenland Albion         34  17   8   9  51  32  +19  59
  6 Blaze                  34  18   5  11  54  43  +11  59
  7 Forge Carpenters       34  15  11   8  40  26  +14  56
  8 Gridlock East          34  16   7  11  50  35  +15  55
  9 Brindleton             34  14  12   8  54  42  +12  54
 10 Diamondqueen           34  14   8  12  37  33   +4  50
 11 Gridlock               34  13  10  11  33  28   +5  49
 12 FC United              34  13   7  14  29  34   -5  46
 13 Sutcroft Athletic      34  13   5  16  39  42   -3  44
 14 Ringway                34  12   7  15  45  47   -2  43
 15 Stonegrave             34  11   9  14  32  36   -4  42
 16 Vermillion Spite       34  12   6  16  35  47  -12  42
 17 Courser                34  11   6  17  24  34  -10  39
 18 Reckdale Town          34  10   9  15  41  60  -19  39
 19 Camwell Road           34  11   6  17  30  50  -20  39
 20 Geoff United           34  10   7  17  26  36  -10  37
 21 Stamper Road           34   9   8  17  36  47  -11  35
 22 Mantlegrove            34   8  11  15  21  41  -20  35
 23 Brookway Town          34   8   9  17  29  48  -19  33
 24 Nay Town               34   4   6  24  27  66  -39  18

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                     P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 The Strongest           34  20   8   6  84  41  +43  68
  2 Bellamy                 34  18   8   8  37  22  +15  62
  3 Kommissar               34  17  10   7  51  30  +21  61
  4 Southriver              34  17   8   9  52  44   +8  59
  5 Harrington              34  18   5  11  52  46   +6  59
  6 Stekelenbright          34  15  11   8  41  34   +7  56
  7 Dartmouth Terriers      34  15  10   9  54  34  +20  55
  8 Lackerrun               34  13  11  10  52  40  +12  50
  9 Perrett                 34  14   6  14  42  41   +1  48
 10 Crisisbless Ermac       34  14   5  15  40  46   -6  47
 11 Grovebank               34  12  10  12  41  34   +7  46
 12 Norton Road             34  13   5  16  40  41   -1  44
 13 Haymaker Town           34  11  10  13  27  30   -3  43
 14 Barcastle Rovers        34  11   7  16  36  50  -14  40
 15 Tryst Athletic          34  10   7  17  45  57  -12  37
 16 Ramsay                  34  11   4  19  36  58  -22  37
 17 Thratewood              34   9   9  16  31  44  -13  36
 18 Virginia Treason        34  10   6  18  28  45  -17  36
 19 Huysegem                34   8   8  18  27  53  -26  32
 20 Worthall                34   6   8  20  25  51  -26  26

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Bodkin Road                34  20   6   8  56  28  +28  66
  2 Downsparrow                34  18  10   6  65  32  +33  64
  3 Greygate                   34  18   8   8  58  34  +24  62
  4 Morningstar                34  16  11   7  54  38  +16  59
  5 Fischer                    34  16   8  10  52  40  +12  56
  6 Getton Town                34  15   9  10  55  40  +15  54
  7 Inner-East Fairywrens      34  14   8  12  41  31  +10  50
  8 Harbrook United            34  15   5  14  32  40   -8  50
  9 De La Patria               34  13  10  11  42  36   +6  49
 10 Riverkey                   34  14   7  13  38  35   +3  49
 11 Sandrock                   34  13   9  12  30  29   +1  48
 12 Leo                        34  11  10  13  37  44   -7  43
 13 Violence Tigers            34  10  12  12  36  43   -7  42
 14 Rookwall                   34  11   5  18  35  49  -14  38
 15 Twelvetrees                34  10   8  16  27  41  -14  38
 16 Starrian                   34   9  10  15  26  39  -13  37
 17 Norpike                    34  10   7  17  29  46  -17  37
 18 Pridehome                  34   9   9  16  42  59  -17  36
 19 East Slake                 34   8   7  19  27  46  -19  31
 20 Markoni                    34   6   9  19  36  68  -32  27

by **Nephara** » Sun Nov 16, 2014 9:30 pm

Brinemouth have simply lacked the cutting ruthlessness of the past three seasons - they’ve not been coolly despatching any opponent in their path the way they used to. No mistake against the Maximum Rovers, though - they put five past Adrian Middleton, and Darek Norgen works off a touch of a goal drought with a tasty hattrick. There’s also a very open affair in Sabrefell, as the Moths surprisingly get laid low by Cypher Town. The Eagles have been utterly shambolic in the top flight despite high hopes, but at least goals from Hastings, Dalton and Brookwood will help in their real fight this season; not ending with a record low points total, as their win lifts them three points above Rochford’s tally of 22 in 335. In the highest-profile of the clashes on display, meanwhile, Treason suffer a late equaliser to draw 1-1 with Crisisbless. The Heelers are looking good for the Champion’s Cup, while Treason look good to be, well, champions.

Rochford manage to claw a goal against a (heavily rotated) Chatswood, but only the one - and Nikita Charlemagne promptly bags an equaliser nine minutes later. The result never really in doubt, Chatswood sail through. Cranequin City put up a strong fight against Raven River, Chalker and substitute Foxwood both scoring in the second half, but they can’t stop River scoring three crisply-taken goals to win 5-2 on aggregate. West Brinemouth, fresh off a 3-2 defeat to Chatswood in the league, won’t be joining them in the Cup semi-finals; while Daniel Freuen bags a goal, it only brings the fixture to extra time, and Raul Monti manages to cancel it out in the 98th minute. Some measure of revenge, perhaps, for CE11 - after all, both Monti and Freuen were in those squads. Integabad, meanwhile, seals the deal over Bishop - they trailed for 79 minutes, but a header from Hahn, the veteran forward, stopped them from losing on away goals. Bishop might well feel robbed of a result, but if you don’t take your chances? You won’t win the match.

Maximum City have endured a torrid season, and frankly Brinemouth haven’t been so hot either. But the Dockers still go in confident against a team with really nothing to show up top. More fool them, however - City defend tightly and compact, and in attack? Georgia Kite’s form might have eroded and probably cost her any chance of a Nephara callup ahead of the World Cup, but she nevertheless scores both goals, a magnificent diving header and a volley that’s pretty easy on the eye as well. Cypher, meanwhile, win… a second match in a row? It’s a bad sign for Ritter Town. To be fair, a lot of credit is due to Cath Gilchrist for keeping the clean sheet in spite of Cypher’s nonexistant back three - capped at U-21 level for Nephara, Gilchrist is the sole Cypher player to emerge from the season so far with any credit, having not only reliably stopped shots but never lost confidence despite an unending torrent of defeats, either.

TAATO have, frankly, exceeded all expectations, and Treason will be looking to do better than Crisisbless did in the group stage. Still, a 0-0 draw away isn’t so bad, and waiting for the home victory worked against Oceanside. TAATO defended solidly, and created more than a few chances against a tight Treason defence - Russ Miller continued to assert himself as the Premiership’s best goalkeeper when called upon. Treason go into the next leg as strong, though not overwhelming, favourites.

Treason rest basically their entire squad against West Brinemouth at home. Because the league is in the bag and, well, it’s West Brinemouth at home. The Gulls, who have recently picked up veteran manager Arran Starkey, manage a lucky but gutsy win. Chatswood’s shot at UICA is given two dents by Southfell United - the first is their defeat, 2-1, to goals from Brightley and Gannon. The second is an injury to Sennetian Calista Ferreira, who goes down in the 39th poleaxed by a late Cath Morespike challenge. They’re already 2-0 down by that point, and while they rally to get a goal through Gustaf Graz, it’s a poor day for the Woodsmen.

Heartbreak. AFC Treason go on the attack, and aim to dominate from the getgo - goals from Quinn and Acosta put them to a 2-0 lead, and that seems like that - until TAATO snatch a goal in the 44th minute. A goal just before half-time always changes the complexion of a match, and it practically overturns this one into a deadly even affair - a goal for Treason would settle it, a goal for TAATO edge them ahead on away goals. And it is, ultimately, TAATO who equalise in the 77th minute - Russ Miller clawing at air after a thunderous free kick - and Treason, after Elior Schneider rifles against the post, are out of the Globe Cup.

Well, after three draws on the spin and twelve… TWELVE games unbeaten, Crisisbless bloody United were finally turned over by North Laithland. But there’s two remarkable results near the top of the table - Chatswood brutalise Sabrefell Athletic with four goals and two injuries (Bergman out for two weeks, Eastway out for the rest of the season), while keeping both clean sheet and clean bill of health. But it’s even worse for Southfell United - while they’ve overachieved basically no matter what, Violence Chariots casually disembowelling them 6-0 isn’t brilliant for morale.

Sabrefell Athletic were wishing the East Sabrefell derby would come at… any other time. Fresh off a 4-0 defeat, and with the Chariots fresh off a 6-0 victory? Seemed like there’d only be one winner. Apparently, however, not. Nate Walker’s early goal is cancelled out by Coalan Bray’s late one. However, headlines are dominated by one of the more severe instances of street violence, a rare occurence in Nephara’s general stops-at-fists climate, as NNU student Catheline Temple is stabbed at a bar by an Athletic fan. While Temple survived, it’s still a sombre footnote that puts the police on edge, particularly as the victim was a River fan and local wearing no actual colours or allegiances to any club.

With a couple of ‘This Is For You, Temple’ and ‘Athletic Are Cunts’ banners unfurled by the away crowd at Chatswood, Raven River battle their way to a gallant 2-2 draw, coming from two behind. It is, in fact, a rematch of… literally a few days ago, in the league, a match Chatswood won 2-1 away. Daniella Strauss has scored all three of River’s goals in those two matches, and gave Ace Flynn plenty of issues throughout. Parrhesia, meanwhile, struggle to put down a defensively resilient AFC Integabad, but eventually Erin Camden’s beautiful free kick arcs past Penelope Morder for the winner. Still, the First Division side are definitely within striking distance of the final...

Brinemouth get brutalised by Extreme Hills, thoroughly outmatched all over the pitch. Brendan Rivers, who was linked to Brinemouth in the transfer window, creates both assists, and in general Brinemouth’s defence (missing Stewart through injury) struggled to stifle the opportunistic Drinkwater. Colbright had to make a few scrambling saves, but at the end of the day Brinemouth were on the back foot for the ninety minutes. Treason also lose to Sabrefell Athletic, who come back from 1-0 down at half-time with a brace from Bray. That will leave fond memories for Athletic. Meanwhile, back in Sabrefell, River are utterly destroyed at home by Violence Chariots. River’s 4-4-2 diamond is all well and good, but the Chariots simply exploit the flanks to vicious effect. Nate Walker in particular tears into them, winning a hattrick, but Fitzmarten should’ve done better for both Ritter (his hand to the shot was weak) and Hertz (who beat him at the near post).

A bruising physical affair in the Sabrefell derby, and the Moths come off second-best. Bray started the season well and is ending it better still, and while it might be an uphill struggle for an international callup nobody can say he’s not giving it his best shot. Cilic and Sarracena lock down the midfield, and from there it’s a matter of taking chances. Meanwhile, a flying 4-4 affair in Ritter is not quite good enough for the Stallions, who can’t keep a two-goal lead from turning sour. A key point in the game is the exceptionally slow midfield battle between holding Town player Andreas Charisteas (Pravenna captain, 34 years old) and 33-year old Dale Brightley at the head of Southfell’s diamond. Once Brightley manages to get out of Charisteas’ pocket, Southfell break through with a goal put on a plate for Volker and the equaliser for Brightley himself. It’s good to see United back, and their mixture of veterans and exciting young players has been perfect.

Okay, seriously, so the twelve matches unbeaten is one thing, but after one defeat United went on to draw twice before beating Extreme Hills and, now, Brinemouth. Brinemouth had the better of the game, but poor finishing and some great saves from Swallowtail give Crisisbless United the chance to fight their way to a 2-1 win. And this result came missing top scorer Andreas Rourke, who has adapted so well to the Premiership! Still, Rook Speed’s header opens the scoring for United, with the ever-reliable watercarrier Markus Chaucer scoring the second with a crisp finish. Treason, meanwhile, break North Laithland’s spine again, this time with a 4-1 victory. Yet again, the master takes the apprentice to the cleaners. When the master has a squad full of international stars and is playing at home, anyway.

Maximum City have had an utterly dismal season, but they gloss it up a little with a bruising 1-0 victory over AFC Treason. It’s not the thorn in the side of their fierce rivals they’d hoped for - the Stags are still strolling away with the league with three matches remaining. Still, the Smiths’ defence managed to hold strong, and Wightling Durgan Pryor surprisingly managed to clamp down Kurtis Quinn. Pryor also scored their goal, heading home an immaculate Parrish corner. Crisisbless notch up another victory in the background, while Leichhardt clamp down Vermillion Rage for a 0-0 draw, Hartmann’s club managing to close them down all over the pitch for an unlikely point that must feel like a victory. Rage have, in general, had a fairly poor season in attack - Havelund’s still firing, but aside from him? Things have been too quiet, and the midfield simply isn’t chipping in.

Another exciting, high-tempo match in Sabrefell, and after a poor run of form for River in general Daniella Strauss immediately starts firing again the moment she sees Ace Flynn looking innocent and vulnerable. She gets two more goals, with Graf and Beckett scoring for Chatswood, but after Casey Brind manages to get on the end of Milligan’s cross to slice it home, it looks like River have it signed and sealed. But it wasn’t to be. It takes until the 92nd minute, but with Roberts’ save from Graz to create a corner for Chatswood, and Beckett’s corner rising perfectly for that man, Mikko Haagensen, to head home… and Raven River, who were so recently flying high, are suddenly crashing out. Integabad have set out to frustrate the Saints and hit them on the counter. Parrhesia wise up within about 15 minutes, and start to sit back, and there’s an incredibly boring 10 minutes until Integabad figure it out, overextend forward, and United hit them on the counter for Raul Monti to sidefoot home a low Mullery cross.

Brinemouth have a way of losing creatively to Corvette Maulers. It isn’t the ‘5-1 defeat immediately after winning the league’ of two seasons past, but two goals from Daniel Canady (who has thrived in the starting lineup, and given the Maulers their best striker since Konrad Evans left for Astograth) clipped in neatly from just inside the box account for them this time around. Ritter continue to save their best form for while it’s too late, managing to outplay North Laithland and get a 3-1 win. The Spiders have had a mixed season, but at least Speare’s given them some home for the future - for now, it’s damage control.

Brinemouth have now put the finishing touches on a four-match losing streak - can they make it five to end the season? Chenoworth Rovers away is hardly the toughest fixture, but Gerry Malone excelled on his return to his former club, and Tana Colbright… did not, blatantly at fault when chipped by Damkjaer from 30 yards, while Malachi Steinberg heads home a Damkjaer free kick for the second. Fortunately for them, Chatswood also lose, and Sabrefell Athletic is held to a draw by Leichhardt in a frantic 2-2 draw. It’s a crucial point for them, and it means that Ritter Town’s superb win over Maximum City - Keller and Dan Woodrow managing to get past Jelic and the tight Smiths defence - is basically meaningless. Even if Ritter win and Leichhardt lose, a ridiculous amount of goal difference would have to change hands.

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                     P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 AFC Treason             45  31   7   7  88  33  +55 100  Champions Cup
  2 Crisisbless             45  27  12   6  77  37  +40  93  Champions Cup
  3 Sabrefell Athletic      45  26   9  10  65  39  +26  87  Globe Cup
  4 Chatswood               45  23  11  11  64  43  +21  80  Globe Cup
  5 Brinemouth              45  22  10  13  76  55  +21  76
  6 Violence Chariots       45  22   8  15  84  54  +30  74
  7 Goodfeather FC          45  22   8  15  71  52  +19  74
  8 Southfell United        45  19  12  14  72  69   +3  69
  9 Sabrefell Moths         45  20   8  17  66  59   +7  68
 10 Maximum City            45  16  19  10  46  39   +7  67
 11 North Laithland         45  19   9  17  56  59   -3  66
 12 Parrhesia United        45  17  13  15  69  63   +6  64
 13 Raven River             45  17  11  17  55  60   -5  62
 14 Extreme Hills           45  17   7  21  60  63   -3  58
 15 Chenoworth Rovers       45  16   9  20  52  63  -11  57
 16 Vermillion Rage         45  14  14  17  66  66   +0  56
 17 Crisisbless United      45  14  13  18  56  67  -11  55
 18 Maximum Rovers          45  14  11  20  44  58  -14  53
 19 Corvette Maulers        45  13  11  21  52  80  -28  50
 20 Leichhardt              45  11  11  23  34  52  -18  44
 21 Ritter Town             45  12   5  28  53  90  -37  41
 22 West Brinemouth         45   7  13  25  39  76  -37  34  Relegated
 23 Iron City               45   9   7  29  32  73  -41  34  Relegated
 24 Cypher Town             45   7  12  26  45  72  -27  33  Relegated

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                       P   W   D   L  For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Coret Hawks               45  27   9   9   61  32  +29  90  Promoted
  2 Vermillion Wanderers      45  26   7  12  101  57  +44  85  Promoted
  3 Newrook City              45  24  11  10   63  49  +14  83  Promoted
  4 Chenoworth Harriers       45  23  11  11   60  44  +16  80
  5 Bishop                    45  23   9  13   63  44  +19  78
  6 Cranequin Wanderers       45  22  11  12   69  37  +32  77
  7 Cranequin City            45  19  17   9   53  40  +13  74
  8 South Laithland           45  20  13  12   52  31  +21  73
  9 Martella Jazz             45  19  11  15   59  50   +9  68
 10 AFC Serpentine            45  17  15  13   77  59  +18  66
 11 Starling                  45  15  18  12   79  69  +10  63
 12 AFC Integabad             45  16  15  14   44  37   +7  63
 13 AFC Shale                 45  15  16  14   44  41   +3  61
 14 Rochford                  45  16  11  18   42  51   -9  59
 15 Sheridan                  45  13  19  13   34  38   -4  58
 16 Creed United              45  15  10  20   58  71  -13  55
 17 Mainstream Fist           45  13  10  22   51  64  -13  49
 18 West Hook                 45  13  10  22   33  47  -14  49
 19 Franchise FC              45  13  10  22   40  79  -39  49
 20 Sutcroft                  45  11  15  19   47  61  -14  48
 21 Hackett                   45  10   9  26   43  81  -38  39  Relegated
 22 Leopolis Hatemongers      45   9  11  25   43  67  -24  38  Relegated
 23 Crossroads Town           45  10   7  28   39  67  -28  37  Relegated
 24 Locksley                  45   7  13  25   38  77  -39  34  Relegated

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 South Parrhesia              45  30   8   7  76  31  +45  98  Promoted
  2 Iron United                  45  26   8  11  79  45  +34  86  Promoted
  3 Dross Rovers                 45  25  10  10  84  41  +43  85  Promoted
  4 Strephonage                  45  20  13  12  73  48  +25  73
  5 North Sabrefell              45  20  11  14  64  46  +18  71
  6 Iberia Chenoworth            45  21   5  19  66  65   +1  68
  7 East Laithland Harriers      45  19  10  16  55  55   +0  67
  8 Coret Rovers                 45  19   9  17  65  60   +5  66
  9 Rhagant Schadenfreude        45  17  15  13  55  51   +4  66
 10 Ox River United              45  18  10  17  59  56   +3  64
 11 Boleyn Town                  45  15  16  14  44  39   +5  61
 12 Gridlock Rovers              45  15  16  14  61  58   +3  61
 13 Brookford Otters             45  17   8  20  45  48   -3  59
 14 Project +90                  45  14  16  15  68  70   -2  58
 15 Falston Town                 45  13  17  15  53  53   +0  56
 16 Armstrong                    45  14  14  17  50  52   -2  56
 17 Belgrave                     45  15  11  19  38  51  -13  56
 18 Crisisbless Athletic         45  13  14  18  48  55   -7  53
 19 Rushe United                 45  15   6  24  60  89  -29  51
 20 Dubstep Rangers              45  13  11  21  37  72  -35  50
 21 North Dubstep                45  13  10  22  45  65  -20  49
 22 Masculine Town               45  11  13  21  28  48  -20  46  Relegated
 23 South Brill                  45  12   8  25  61  86  -25  44  Relegated
 24 Corby Hubris                 45  12   7  26  51  81  -30  43  Relegated

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Senway Town            45  29   7   9  78  41  +37  94  Promoted
  2 Fenland Albion         45  26   9  10  74  45  +29  87  Promoted
  3 Kensey Town            45  25   8  12  90  45  +45  83  Promoted
  4 Long Lake              45  24   8  13  61  37  +24  80
  5 Chaker Town            45  22  13  10  53  35  +18  79
  6 Brindleton             45  20  16   9  81  55  +26  76
  7 Gridlock East          45  20  11  14  59  43  +16  71
  8 Forge Carpenters       45  18  15  12  53  43  +10  69
  9 Blaze                  45  19  10  16  70  63   +7  67
 10 Diamondqueen           45  18  12  15  54  46   +8  66
 11 Sutcroft Athletic      45  19   8  18  55  54   +1  65
 12 Gridlock               45  17  13  15  43  36   +7  64
 13 FC United              45  16  12  17  47  49   -2  60
 14 Ringway                45  15  10  20  51  58   -7  55
 15 Stamper Road           45  14  12  19  48  58  -10  54
 16 Reckdale Town          45  13  14  18  48  66  -18  53
 17 Camwell Road           45  14  11  20  44  62  -18  53
 18 Stonegrave             45  14  10  21  39  56  -17  52
 19 Vermillion Spite       45  13  12  20  44  61  -17  51
 20 Brookway Town          45  12  12  21  45  56  -11  48
 21 Geoff United           45  12  12  21  37  54  -17  48
 22 Courser                45  13   8  24  32  55  -23  47
 23 Mantlegrove            45  10  14  21  27  55  -28  44  Relegated
 24 Nay Town               45   5   7  33  29  89  -60  22  Relegated

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                     P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 The Strongest           38  24   8   6  96  42  +54  80  Promoted
  2 Bellamy                 38  20   9   9  41  27  +14  69
  3 Kommissar               38  19  10   9  59  39  +20  67
  4 Dartmouth Terriers      38  18  11   9  59  34  +25  65
  5 Stekelenbright          38  17  11  10  45  38   +7  62
  6 Harrington              38  19   5  14  53  49   +4  62
  7 Southriver              38  18   8  12  54  53   +1  62
  8 Lackerrun               38  15  12  11  57  44  +13  57
  9 Crisisbless Ermac       38  17   5  16  51  50   +1  56
 10 Perrett                 38  15   8  15  46  44   +2  53
 11 Haymaker Town           38  14  10  14  32  34   -2  52
 12 Grovebank               38  13  10  15  44  40   +4  49
 13 Norton Road             38  13   7  18  40  44   -4  46
 14 Ramsay                  38  14   4  20  41  60  -19  46
 15 Barcastle Rovers        38  12   8  18  40  59  -19  44
 16 Tryst Athletic          38  11   9  18  53  62   -9  42
 17 Thratewood              38  10  10  18  35  51  -16  40
 18 Virginia Treason        38  10   7  21  30  52  -22  37
 19 Huysegem                38   9   9  20  30  57  -27  36
 20 Worthall                38   7   9  22  29  56  -27  30

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Bodkin Road                38  21   8   9  63  36  +27  71
  2 Downsparrow                38  20  10   8  68  37  +31  70
  3 Greygate                   38  19  11   8  64  38  +26  68
  4 Morningstar                38  17  13   8  61  42  +19  64
  5 Getton Town                38  17  10  11  59  43  +16  61
  6 Fischer                    38  17   9  12  55  45  +10  60
  7 Inner-East Fairywrens      38  17   8  13  46  33  +13  59
  8 Riverkey                   38  17   7  14  45  36   +9  58
  9 De La Patria               38  15  10  13  48  45   +3  55
 10 Harbrook United            38  16   6  16  39  46   -7  54
 11 Sandrock                   38  14  11  13  32  31   +1  53
 12 Violence Tigers            38  13  12  13  42  46   -4  51
 13 Rookwall                   38  14   6  18  41  51  -10  48
 14 Leo                        38  12  11  15  39  49  -10  47
 15 Twelvetrees                38  12   8  18  34  47  -13  44
 16 Norpike                    38  11   9  18  34  52  -18  42
 17 East Slake                 38  10   8  20  31  48  -17  38
 18 Starrian                   38   9  11  18  28  47  -19  38
 19 Pridehome                  38   9   9  20  44  65  -21  36
 20 Markoni                    38   7   9  22  38  74  -36  30

by **Nephara** » Tue Nov 25, 2014 7:48 pm

Final Matchday
Chatswood vs. Brinemouth
West Brinemouth vs. Chenoworth Rovers
Violence Chariots vs. Corvette Maulers
Vermillion Rage vs. Crisisbless
AFC Treason vs. Crisisbless United
Southfell United vs. Cypher Town
Sabrefell Moths vs. Extreme Hills
Sabrefell Athletic vs. Goodfeather FC
Ritter Town vs. Iron City
Raven River vs. Leichhardt
Parrhesia United vs. Maximum City
North Laithland vs. Maximum Rovers[/spoiler]

Alright, so there’s almost nothing left to play for. Three relegation slots are stamped in, and realistically Ritter Town is down as well unless Iron City feel so depressed by their campaign they just decide to pump the ball into their own net twenty or thirty times.
There is, however, one final Globe Cup place to contest. Brinemouth hold onto it by a relative thread - they might have two points on Violence and Goodfeather, but if they slip up? The Chariots have the advantage in goal difference, and it’s attainable for the Quakers too. Violence has the easiest match, by far - Corvette, at home. Brinemouth goes to Chatswood and Goodfeather goes to Sabrefell Athletic, so it’s looking pretty even between Brinemouth and Violence… but it’s within reach for the Dockers.
If there’s any positive, it’s that Chatswood are resting many of their players - giving Brand Finnan a run-out, too, since Lineker has stated calmly she has ‘literally no intention to even ironically use anything but her best in every position for a fucking Cup final’. But even if they are missing Shrike, Haagensen, Ferreira (through injury) and Reeve, there’s still plenty of a squad there.
Sadly for Brinemouth, Violence immediately ratchet up a two-goal advantage against a porous Corvette. It’s an open enough match, but Violence are better all over the park, and Bryan Veldt was… blatantly at fault for the second goal, fumbling Hertz’s shot right onto Ritter’s boot. Crisisbless United, surprisingly, also run out to an early lead, Rook Speed firing low past Miller.
Still, Brinemouth can at least threaten an opener, Stephen Mahoney firing about an inch over the bar. Chatswood are playing with the same high line and intensity they’ve been using all season, and it’s chiefly been Mahoney who’s been getting past it. And it’s Mahoney who finally gets the Dockers underway - Firth barely keeps him onside for Ashdown’s long pass, he runs onto it just before it goes out of play and cuts it back for Norgen to beast Ace Flynn and smash past Shrike. Though it only makes it into the net via the post, but really, that’s just better for style purposes.
The scoreline persists for the next twenty minutes, Chatswood being kind of muted and under fire for a while before starting to fight back. A Graz shot is saved smartly by Colbright, who also has to deny Beckett and Lundgren. But it eventually falls to Chatswood to equalise in the 44th minute - after Bryson’s long strike is smashed off of Arron Stewart’s back and out for a corner, Beckett’s corner is at the perfect height for Ace Flynn to leap… and clumsily head home for his first goal of the season.
It silenced the away crowd, and seemed to shatter the Dockers as they wandered across the pitch, almost stunned until they were saved by the whistle.
Across the rest of Nephara, there wasn’t too much excitement. Erik Rogalski had one goal against West Brinemouth and another ruled offside, Violence were maintaining their advantage, and Crisisbless lead Vermillion by a goal. Treason, unsurprisingly, had gone from 0-1 down to 3-2 up over the course of a frenetic 30 minutes, thanks to Kurtis Quinn (now sitting on 25 goals), Markus Anderton and Olenna Carrick. Southfell were simply rolling over a sickly-looking Cypher Town, Rudolf Blake coming on as a substitute for the injured Paula Gannon and netting his first goal of the season, 91st of his Premiership career, and given his age and impending end of his contract, probably the last of them. The Moths and Hounds were currently 0-0, neither side really having their finishing boots on, while it was a genuine battle of goalkeepers in the other side of Sabrefell - Seb Seward matching Isadora Caravella save for save, and both looking to earn a callup to the Nepharim national team for the upcoming World Cup. Ritter Town’s rather damp season was coming to a dismal close, missing every chance of the many they created, and even then nearly contriving to concede from Iron’s only shot of the half - Marlborough put the ball in the net, but was offside. River were comfortably disposing of Leichhardt, Maximum City of Parrhesia, while the Spiders looked to have the better of the Rovers without actually scoring to that point.
If the Woodsmen were hoping Brinemouth would exit the tunnel as demoralised as they entered it, however, they were sorely mistaken. Okay, granted - Garrotte had made two substitutions to try and overturn things, the energetic Christon for the artistic Mathias and the straightforward Moran for the unusually quiet Watt. But whether it was that, the team talk, or just natural defiance, it made the difference for Chatswood. Christon was better at being kicked than Mathias, and as a result Brinemouth enjoyed far more possession in central midfield, and used it to full effect. It was Christon who released Ashdown, and Ashdown released Moran. With no real time or inclination for a cross, Moran went diagonal and fired low past Shrike - who was clearly furious at her defence.
Chatswood redoubled their efforts, and Brinemouth couldn’t afford to keep on the defensives - with Colbright soon having to make a couple of brilliant saves to keep them in the game, they knew they’d buckle eventually. So they continued to put their foot down, clamping down the midfield and bombing the ball forward along the wings whenever they could. Chatswood defended stoutly, and neither side really got any clear-cut chances… which perfectly suited Brinemouth. And by the time the final whistle blew, and the dust settled, they’d scraped into fifth at the last. Chatswood, meanwhile, held strong in 4th, while Sabrefell (after drawing Goodfeather 0-0) remained in 3rd. Treason, after conceding another equaliser but scoring yet again through Quinn, had reached 103 points, a Premiership record. Leichhardt did their job by losing 3-1 to River, but Ritter Town failed to hold up their end of the bargain after a damp 0-0 draw with Iron City. Having failed to win by the seventeen goals they needed, they’ll be joining each other, and Cypher (flattened 3-0 by Southfell) and West Brinemouth (dealt with 2-0 by Chenoworth Rovers) in the First Division next year. And the final scores of the weekend are...

CUP FINAL - CHATSWOOD vs. PARRHESIA UNITED
Chatswood
Lineup: Shrike; Firth, Flynn, Stubbs, Dundalk; Haagensen; Lundgren, Reeve; Beckett (c); Graz, Bryson
Bench: Finnan; Forsythe, Gillard, Keegan, Caldwell, Meixner, Charlemagne

With nothing left to play in the last match, Chatswood have a full-strength squad to draw off (bar the injured Ferreira), and take full advantage - that includes bringing Alhambra Shrike in for Brand Finnan, who started all other Cup fixtures to this point. As a result they’re playing what has generally been regarded as their first XI for the season. A season which has, after all, taken them to 4th in the league, well above expectations. Resounding favourites to win.

Parrhesia United
Lineup: Hennessey; Arrowsmith, Valiant, Brun, Sullivan; Camden (c), Banks, Sebastian; Rivers, Monti, Mullery
Bench: Tomasen; Keller, Blaze, Danton, Wainwright, Kightley, Beckcamp

The Saints are fresh off a 13th-placed finish, slightly disappointing but not that bad. A poor defence is weakened still further by the absence of John Alabaster through injury, leaving 19-year old Alastair Brun to start. Cath Rivers also starts on the right, with regular Gerhard Driscoll seemingly being rested after a gruelling season. Hennessey starts for the first time in the Cup after playing 45 matches in the league - one red card stopped him from making it a full season. A winnable match for them, but they’ll be up against it.

The Match
Well, the stakes are set and the players ready for a match presenting both clubs with a rare chance at silverware. Parrhesia are traditional Cup specialists in the first place, with one modern era victory five years ago. But a history largely forged from the pre-UICA era, and one victory that came in the year Chatswood were promoted, has little bearing on the facts of the matter - Chatswood are firm favourites.
Gustaf Graz, helpfully, reinforces this by hitting a post within three minutes from a decent range. That amount of time and already he’s found ways past Brun - that doesn’t bode well for the Saints. And it takes a fantastic save from Hennessey to deny Markus Beckett soon after, the Chatswood captain leading by example. But Parrhesia soon show some steel themselves, and a long drive from just outside the box from Cath Rivers is clawed away for a corner by Shrike, and while Camden’s corner sails harmlessly over the entire penalty area, it’s a statement of intent.
Still, it’s United who buckle first. Surprisingly, it’s Banks - who has sharpened up late into the season, presumably hoping for a callup to the Starian national team - who is caught in possession by a ravening Cheney Reeve, who plays a neat one-two with Beckett to evade Sebastian before driving past Hennessey. While the Saints’ goalkeeper is furious at his lacklustre defence, Chatswood have been the better team so far, and richly deserve the goal. A second is nearly provided by the Valhallan connection five minutes later, as Haagensen nearly plays Graz through the defence. But a proactive Hennessey comes out smartly to deny him the chance, before his own kick actually releases Sophia Mullery on the left wing. The winger defies Firth and her low cross is dangerous, but Brescia Stubbs reads it well and hoofs it back upfield. The fiery Hennessey, by this stage, has reverted yet again to shouting at his defenders.
The rest of the half is quiet, by comparison. While there are still chances, Banks has finally gotten the better of Beckett, and so severely put the attacking midfielder in his own pocket that Chatswood simply aren’t getting the supply they need. And as a looping Bryson header from Dundalk’s cross ends up nestled on the top of the net, the half-time whistle is called.

The second half sees a double substitution from Chatswood, as Lineker tries to re-inject some venom back into her squad. Paul Meixner, who has been a useful but low-profile bit player throughout the campaign, is brought on for Beckett (Haagensen running out with the armband) and there’s a chance for 20-year old rightback Cheney Forsythe, who replaces Firth. Gareth Conway’s made changes, too - to temperament, if not personnel. The Saints attack straight from the off, making great use of the wings - Chatswood’s Achilles heel - to harry their tougher, harder opponents. A superb cross from Rivers gave Monti space, which was suddenly and brutally robbed from him with an equally superb sliding challenge from Stubbs. But with Mullery quiet on the other flank, suffering from the brutal bedside manner of Forsythe and his studs, Conway made the decision to bring on the dynamic 20-year old Beckcamp.

It changed the game for the Saints, and Beckcamp’s first touch of the ball (from Sebastian’s pass) took it past Forsythe. Though the sneaky rightback tried to hack at his shins as he was passed, Beckcamp kept going before letting loose a dangerous cross/shot that Shrike had to tip over the bar. Shrike came out well to claim the corner, but she soon had to make two desperate saves from Monti, and an optimistic effort from Erin Camden just curled the wrong side of the post. By this stage, there was nobody who didn’t realise that this was suddenly all Parrhesia. Eventually, inevitably, something cracked - while Haagensen managed to flatten Camden, the ball went straight to Banks, who passed to Sebastian. Matt Sebastian, given all the space in the world, made the best of his shot and cracked it against the woodwork. It left Shrike helplessly sprawling, and while it never crossed the line, Monti was quicker than Flynn and, when presented with a tap-in, didn’t miss it.

What followed was an onslaught. The Saints wanted their second, and nearly got it when Beckcamp’s distant shot narrowly missed after beating Shrike. Beckcamp then put chances on a plate for Monti, and then Sebastian, but outstandingly brave goalkeeping from Shrike denied them in both instances. Not without cost, as Sebastian’s leaping strike caught her in the chest, and she was left to lie stricken for the better part of five minutes as physios attended to her. Eventually, the winded goalkeeper signalled that she was alright to carry on - and that earned cheers from the sizable sky blue presence in the stands.

It seemed to uplift the entire team, too, even though Shrike was clearly less than at her best. She was very slow to get down to a scrambled Brun header from a corner, but Forsythe cleared it off the line, and that, as it happened, was Parrhesia’s last real chance of the game. Lineker’s substitutions might not have had immediate effect, but it was Meixner who grew into the match as it progressed, and slipped Banks in the 71st minute to put a lovely chip over Brun’s head. It couldn’t have been easier for Bryson, who put it on a plate for herself and smashed it past Brun. And while Parrhesia tried, yet again, to get another goal, they were ultimately let down when caught on the break, as Forsythe rushed forward in all the space in the world to get onto the end of Haagensen’s clearance. Leftback Linda Blaze, a substitute, took hold of it only to kick it into Forsythe’s throat, and the bounce fell far more favourably for the (now somewhat breathless) Chatswood man. Suddenly in a world of space, he hit a dynamic low cross, and as Graz slid in for it, Luther Valiant heroically put himself on the line to put the Fallenmarker off. All, sadly, for naught - as the cross ultimately smashed off Valiant’s leg, utterly beat a flat-footed Hennessey and crossed the line with a deep finality.

And so it was with a moment of farce that the Cup Final effectively ended. Lineker used her last substitution to bring on the fresh legs of Marko Gillard in defence, Conway bringing on Jayce Wainwright for the exhausted Sebastian. And ultimately, Chatswood held firm against Parrhesia’s last sallies, nearly scored themselves on the counterattack (Bryson denied one-on-one with Hennessey, the goalkeeper’s outstretched leg guiding the shot onto the far post) and, when the final whistle blew at last, could finally consider themselves richly deserved winners. Parrhesia played a great game, and took the fight to their opponents, but it wasn’t enough in the end as the muscular, distinctly Nepharim Chatswood were simply better at taking their chances.

Chatswood 3 - 1 Parrhesia United
Reeve 14’
Monti 58’
Bryson 71’
Valiant (o.g.) 79’

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                     P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/-  Pts
  1 AFC Treason             46  32   7   7  92  36  +56  103  CC
  2 Crisisbless             46  27  13   6  78  38  +40   94  CC
  3 Sabrefell Athletic      46  26  10  10  65  39  +26   88  GC
  4 Chatswood               46  23  11  12  65  45  +20   80  GC, CeDC
  5 Brinemouth              46  23  10  13  78  56  +22   79  GC
  6 Violence Chariots       46  23   8  15  86  54  +32   77
  7 Goodfeather FC          46  22   9  15  71  52  +19   75
  8 Southfell United        46  20  12  14  75  69   +6   72
  9 Maximum City            46  17  19  10  48  40   +8   70
 10 Sabrefell Moths         46  20   9  17  67  60   +7   69
 11 North Laithland         46  20   9  17  58  59   -1   69
 12 Raven River             46  18  11  17  58  61   -3   65
 13 Parrhesia United        46  17  13  16  70  65   +5   64
 14 Chenoworth Rovers       46  17   9  20  54  63   -9   60
 15 Extreme Hills           46  17   8  21  61  64   -3   59
 16 Vermillion Rage         46  14  15  17  67  67   +0   57
 17 Crisisbless United      46  14  13  19  59  71  -12   55
 18 Maximum Rovers          46  14  11  21  44  60  -16   53
 19 Corvette Maulers        46  13  11  22  52  82  -30   50
 20 Leichhardt              46  11  11  24  35  55  -20   44
 21 Ritter Town             46  12   6  28  53  90  -37   42  R
 22 Iron City               46   9   8  29  32  73  -41   35  R
 23 West Brinemouth         46   7  13  26  39  78  -39   34  R
 24 Cypher Town             46   7  12  27  45  75  -30   33  R

TOP SCORERS
26 - K. Quinn (TRE)
23 - N. Walker (VIC)
21 - D. Norgen (BRI)
20 - T. Bryson (CHT), A. Rettinger (GDF), R. Monti (PAR)
19 - O. Keast (CRI), A. Rourke (CRU), C. Bray (SFA)
18 - D. Canady (CVM), B. Sternberg (CRI), R. Ironside (GDF), F. Keller (RTT), M. Kellard (SFM), J. Ritter (VIC)
17 - C. Drinkwater (EXH), D. Strauss (RVR), K. Volker (SFU)
16 - D. Arragne (NLA), P. Oliver (SFM), P. Gannon (SFU), E. Havelund (VRR), D. Freuen (WBR)
15 - G. Graz (CHT), M. Sandmire (EXH), G. Kite (MXC), E. Schneider (TRE)
14 - E. Rogalski (CHR), L. Fletcher (CVM), S. Maddon (LEI), T. Kenway (RVR)

AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Kurtis Quinn (TRE)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Roque Acosta (TRE)
Iron Fist (Debutant of the Year): Dale Brightley (SFU)
Team of the Year: Miller (TRE); Kellen (VIC), Marlowe (TRE), Stubbs (CHT), Kestrel (CRI); Knutsen (CRI), Acosta (TRE), St. Cleer (CRI), Mahoney (BRI); K. Quinn (TRE), N. Walker (VIC) - Bench: Seward (SFA); Berenger (CRI), Tachibana (TRE), Clough (BRI), Haagensen (CHT), Brightley (SFU), Bryson (CHT)
Manager of the Year: Emery Lineker (CHT)

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                       P   W   D   L  For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Coret Hawks               46  27   9  10   61  33  +28  90  P
  2 Newrook City              46  25  11  10   65  50  +15  86  P
  3 Vermillion Wanderers      46  26   7  13  101  58  +43  85  P
  4 Chenoworth Harriers       46  24  11  11   62  44  +18  83  P
  5 Bishop                    46  24   9  13   65  45  +20  81
  6 Cranequin Wanderers       46  23  11  12   70  37  +33  80
  7 South Laithland           46  21  13  12   53  31  +22  76
  8 Cranequin City            46  19  17  10   54  42  +12  74
  9 Martella Jazz             46  20  11  15   61  50  +11  71
 10 AFC Serpentine            46  17  15  14   77  60  +17  66
 11 Starling                  46  16  18  12   80  69  +11  66
 12 AFC Integabad             46  17  15  14   45  37   +8  66
 13 AFC Shale                 46  15  16  15   44  42   +2  61
 14 Sheridan                  46  14  19  13   35  38   -3  61
 15 Rochford                  46  16  12  18   42  51   -9  60
 16 Creed United              46  16  10  20   60  72  -12  58
 17 Mainstream Fist           46  13  10  23   51  66  -15  49
 18 West Hook                 46  13  10  23   34  49  -15  49
 19 Franchise FC              46  13  10  23   40  81  -41  49
 20 Sutcroft                  46  11  15  20   47  62  -15  48
 21 Crossroads Town           46  11   7  28   41  68  -27  40  R
 22 Hackett                   46  10  10  26   43  81  -38  40  R
 23 Leopolis Hatemongers      46   9  11  26   44  69  -25  38  R
 24 Locksley                  46   7  13  26   39  79  -40  34  R

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 South Parrhesia              46  30   9   7  76  31  +45  99  P
  2 Dross Rovers                 46  26  10  10  88  41  +47  88  P
  3 Iron United                  46  26   8  12  79  46  +33  86  P
  4 Strephonage                  46  21  13  12  74  48  +26  76  P
  5 North Sabrefell              46  20  12  14  64  46  +18  72
  6 Iberia Chenoworth            46  21   6  19  66  65   +1  69
  7 East Laithland Harriers      46  19  11  16  56  56   +0  68
  8 Ox River United              46  19  10  17  61  56   +5  67
  9 Rhagant Schadenfreude        46  17  16  13  55  51   +4  67
 10 Coret Rovers                 46  19   9  18  65  62   +3  66
 11 Boleyn Town                  46  15  17  14  45  40   +5  62
 12 Gridlock Rovers              46  15  17  14  62  59   +3  62
 13 Brookford Otters             46  17   9  20  46  49   -3  60
 14 Armstrong                    46  15  14  17  52  52   +0  59
 15 Project +90                  46  14  16  16  69  75   -6  58
 16 Falston Town                 46  13  17  16  53  54   -1  56
 17 Crisisbless Athletic         46  14  14  18  53  56   -3  56
 18 Belgrave                     46  15  11  20  38  53  -15  56
 19 Rushe United                 46  16   6  24  61  89  -28  54
 20 Dubstep Rangers              46  13  11  22  37  76  -39  50
 21 Masculine Town               46  12  13  21  30  48  -18  49  R
 22 North Dubstep                46  13  10  23  45  67  -22  49  R
 23 South Brill                  46  12   9  25  62  87  -25  45  R
 24 Corby Hubris                 46  12   8  26  52  82  -30  44  R

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Senway Town            46  29   8   9  79  42  +37  95  P
  2 Fenland Albion         46  26  10  10  74  45  +29  88  P
  3 Kensey Town            46  26   8  12  94  46  +48  86  P
  4 Long Lake              46  25   8  13  62  37  +25  83  P
  5 Chaker Town            46  22  13  11  53  36  +17  79
  6 Brindleton             46  20  17   9  81  55  +26  77
  7 Gridlock East          46  20  11  15  59  44  +15  71
  8 Blaze                  46  20  10  16  73  63  +10  70
  9 Forge Carpenters       46  18  16  12  53  43  +10  70
 10 Gridlock               46  18  13  15  45  36   +9  67
 11 Diamondqueen           46  18  12  16  54  47   +7  66
 12 Sutcroft Athletic      46  19   9  18  55  54   +1  66
 13 FC United              46  16  12  18  47  52   -5  60
 14 Stamper Road           46  15  12  19  50  58   -8  57
 15 Ringway                46  15  11  20  52  59   -7  56
 16 Stonegrave             46  15  10  21  40  56  -16  55
 17 Vermillion Spite       46  14  12  20  46  62  -16  54
 18 Camwell Road           46  14  11  21  44  64  -20  53
 19 Reckdale Town          46  13  14  19  49  70  -21  53
 20 Brookway Town          46  13  12  21  46  56  -10  51
 21 Geoff United           46  12  13  21  38  55  -17  49  R
 22 Courser                46  13   9  24  33  56  -23  48  R
 23 Mantlegrove            46  10  14  22  27  57  -30  44  R
 24 Nay Town               46   5   7  34  30  91  -61  22  R

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                     P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 The Strongest           38  24   8   6  96  42  +54  80  P
  2 Bellamy                 38  20   9   9  41  27  +14  69  P
  3 Kommissar               38  19  10   9  59  39  +20  67
  4 Dartmouth Terriers      38  18  11   9  59  34  +25  65
  5 Stekelenbright          38  17  11  10  45  38   +7  62
  6 Harrington              38  19   5  14  53  49   +4  62
  7 Southriver              38  18   8  12  54  53   +1  62
  8 Lackerrun               38  15  12  11  57  44  +13  57
  9 Crisisbless Ermac       38  17   5  16  51  50   +1  56
 10 Perrett                 38  15   8  15  46  44   +2  53
 11 Haymaker Town           38  14  10  14  32  34   -2  52
 12 Grovebank               38  13  10  15  44  40   +4  49
 13 Norton Road             38  13   7  18  40  44   -4  46
 14 Ramsay                  38  14   4  20  41  60  -19  46
 15 Barcastle Rovers        38  12   8  18  40  59  -19  44
 16 Tryst Athletic          38  11   9  18  53  62   -9  42
 17 Thratewood              38  10  10  18  35  51  -16  40
 18 Virginia Treason        38  10   7  21  30  52  -22  37
 19 Huysegem                38   9   9  20  30  57  -27  36
 20 Worthall                38   7   9  22  29  56  -27  30

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Bodkin Road                38  21   8   9  63  36  +27  71  P
  2 Downsparrow                38  20  10   8  68  37  +31  70  P
  3 Greygate                   38  19  11   8  64  38  +26  68
  4 Morningstar                38  17  13   8  61  42  +19  64
  5 Getton Town                38  17  10  11  59  43  +16  61
  6 Fischer                    38  17   9  12  55  45  +10  60
  7 Inner-East Fairywrens      38  17   8  13  46  33  +13  59
  8 Riverkey                   38  17   7  14  45  36   +9  58
  9 De La Patria               38  15  10  13  48  45   +3  55
 10 Harbrook United            38  16   6  16  39  46   -7  54
 11 Sandrock                   38  14  11  13  32  31   +1  53
 12 Violence Tigers            38  13  12  13  42  46   -4  51
 13 Rookwall                   38  14   6  18  41  51  -10  48
 14 Leo                        38  12  11  15  39  49  -10  47
 15 Twelvetrees                38  12   8  18  34  47  -13  44
 16 Norpike                    38  11   9  18  34  52  -18  42
 17 East Slake                 38  10   8  20  31  48  -17  38
 18 Starrian                   38   9  11  18  28  47  -19  38
 19 Pridehome                  38   9   9  20  44  65  -21  36
 20 Markoni                    38   7   9  22  38  74  -36  30

Nephara (NPH) qualifiers
Champions’ Cup: AFC Treason, Crisisbless
Globe Cup: Sabrefell Athletic, Chatswood, Brinemouth

CEdC: AFC Treason, Chatswood

by **Brenecia** » Sat Dec 06, 2014 9:49 pm

BRENECIAN LEAGUE - 338 SEASON REVIEW

Look upon it, viewers, and sigh - for this is the end of an era. Preparing for a merger with the Mareibat league next year, this has had massive ramifications for a top tier preparing to be cut from 20 Brenecian clubs to just 12. The top 10, the Cup winners (Guilder) and, in the spirit of the promotion/relegation system, the top B-League side (Westpike) will make the cut, while even lofty 11th-placed Saint Alexander will have to be taken down a peg. The upsides of this from a league perspective is that a massive migration of talent can be expected, with the remaining A-League clubs now licking their lips at the prospect of plundering the best talent from the still fairly decent teams among the relegated sides. It’s hard to imagine the likes of Whitehouse, Tariff, Caleigh and Galloway content with the second tier of football.

So it is the last ever A-League season as we know it that is, appropriately enough, taken by Kingsgrove - Falkner sneaking past Northern Union into the new second Champion’s Cup spot. And now it’s time to get ready for a revolution in Brenecian sport...

A-LEAGUE

Pos Team                   P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Kingsgrove            38  29  6   3  95  33  +62  93
  2 Falkner United        38  24  8   6  75  31  +44  80
  3 Northern Union        38  24  7   7  59  29  +30  79
  4 Rozelle               38  23  6   9  61  36  +25  75
  5 North Hall            38  21  9   8  59  27  +32  72
  6 Marque                38  18  7  13  57  48   +9  61
  7 South Rathia          38  17  8  13  47  50   -3  59
  8 Francisca Orient      38  16  9  13  54  55   -1  57
  9 Lotus Park            38  15  8  15  55  54   +1  53
 10 Rozelle United        38  14 10  14  46  56  -10  52
 11 Saint Alexander       38  14  8  16  39  43   -4  50  R
 12 North Rathia          38  13  7  18  48  55   -7  46  R
 13 Sutbyrne              38  13  5  20  40  58  -18  44  R
 14 Gallant Cross         38  11  9  18  40  50  -10  42  R
 15 Guilder               38  11  7  20  34  44  -10  40  CeDC
 16 Pikemouth             38  11  7  20  41  59  -18  40  R
 17 Mount Roland          38  10  6  22  31  52  -21  36  R
 18 Snowden River         38   9  8  21  38  63  -25  35  R
 19 Rosbank Town          38   8 10  20  38  67  -29  34  R
 20 Chafford              38   3  7  28  20  67  -47  16  R

AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Malta Keohane (ROZ)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Rickard Lund (FLK)
Team of the Year: Fairhall (NTH); Milligan (ROZ), Monroe (NTU), Connors (NTH), Portadown (KNG); Stamper (KNG), Crowley (KNG), Lund (FLK); Hadley (NTU), Keohane (ROZ), Connolly (FLK)
Manager of the Year: Kieran Storrin (FLK)

B-LEAGUE

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Westpike                 38  25   7   6  68  33  +35  82  P
  2 Hooker Ridge             38  22   9   7  68  37  +31  75
  3 Platwood                 38  22   8   8  44  23  +21  74
  4 Westpike United          38  21  10   7  55  31  +24  73
  5 Thrush                   38  18  12   8  67  38  +29  66
  6 Region                   38  16  13   9  45  31  +14  61
  7 Saint Wessex             38  15   8  15  42  46   -4  53
  8 Scaffield                38  16   5  17  38  42   -4  53
  9 Dalgallen                38  14  10  14  50  49   +1  52
 10 Southside Wanderers      38  12  14  12  43  38   +5  50
 11 Ridgeway United          38  15   5  18  43  45   -2  50
 12 Sharrow                  38  13  10  15  53  51   +2  49
 13 Glassfields              38  11  12  15  52  65  -13  45
 14 Greater Snowden          38   9  15  14  44  54  -10  42
 15 Swayback                 38  10  12  16  44  56  -12  42
 16 Fort Keller              38   9  12  17  38  57  -19  39
 17 Crest                    38   9  10  19  45  60  -15  37
 18 Garfield                 38   8  10  20  46  69  -23  34
 19 Thriss Valley            38   6  12  20  37  65  -28  30
 20 Arkwood                  38   6  12  20  42  74  -32  30

C-LEAGUE

Pos Team                  P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Norbyrne             33  21   7   5  71  35  +36  70  P[/color]
  2 Gallow Park          33  20   9   4  65  32  +33  69
  3 Pryde Wanderers      33  16   6  11  63  47  +16  54
  4 Saint Essex          33  15   8  10  46  37   +9  53
  5 Shenworth            33  12  14   7  43  30  +13  50
  6 Hammerton            33  14   6  13  39  35   +4  48
  7 Jackdaw River        33  13   7  13  38  37   +1  46
  8 Highden              33  13   7  13  45  45   +0  46
  9 Proudcastle          33   8   7  18  30  52  -22  31
 10 Caybrooke            33   8   6  19  35  61  -26  30
 11 Monastery Park       33   8   5  20  20  45  -25  29
 12 Reave City           33   4  10  19  44  83  -39  22

D-LEAGUE

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Brookden                   33  19   7   7  44  20  +24  64  P[/color]
  2 Marque Rovers              33  17   7   9  47  41   +6  58
  3 Goldrush Wanderers         33  16   9   8  46  25  +21  57
  4 Rathia Wanderers           33  16   7  10  57  32  +25  55
  5 South Ridgeway             33  15   6  12  42  38   +4  51
  6 Rushden                    33  13   9  11  50  42   +8  48
  7 Pikemouth United           33  12   7  14  45  47   -2  43
  8 Rooke and Knightstone      33  10  12  11  39  43   -4  42
  9 Falkner Wanderers          33  11   9  13  45  53   -8  42
 10 Myhill                     33   8   8  17  29  50  -21  32
 11 Corder Town                33   8   6  19  35  64  -29  30
 12 Fentonbridge               33   6   7  20  23  47  -24  25

CROWN CUP

Final
Guilder 2-0 Snowden River

Brenecia (BRE) qualifiers
Puppet of Nephara

Champions’ Cup: Kingsgrove, Falkner United
Globe Cup: Northern Union, Rozelle, North Hall

CEdC: Kingsgrove, Guilder

by **Nephara** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 12:08 am

Many years of work have finally come to fruition as the newly-founded Nepharim Ice Hockey Association announced that they were finally moving to create a new, professional league. New clubs were created, one for each capital and twelve others for a single First Division of 20 - during this season's state leagues, Second and Third Divisions will be drawn out from existing teams. Teams were highly encouraged to buy players from the local semi-professional state league they were in, but that didn't stop a few high-profile poaches - still, by and large, players will be locally based. At first, anyway.

For all the embrace of a sport some might consider traditionally socialist in format, NIHA will be running it like any other traditional league - no playoff series, no draft, no salary caps, draws permitted, three points for a win and relegation to be implemented in a year's time. The aim of the league is to pave the way for Nephara to become a force in global hockey - and it will, of course, compete in any international club tournaments if that becomes an option.

Sabrefell United, naturally, was one of the first clubs to be formed. "Most of the time United is just a word, but now? This is a club that will knit a large city with very divided loyalties together - a club everyone in Sabrefell can get behind," boasted their manager, Aristide Kearney. United will wear traditional green and black, and have taken a vast majority of the best local players, leaving other southern teams to fight over the scraps. They'll be one of the favourites for the title.

That said, HC Treason, directly affilitated with and helped to its feet by AFC Treason and wearing the same white and red, are probably favourites. The Northwest has always been the true home of the strongest hockey players, and despite more competition for those players Treason still seem to have gotten more than their fair share.

Crisisbless have eschewed any title, after a brief flirtation with 'Steelers' that lead to a lot of online abuse. In a city where the big western team wears white and blue and the big eastern team wears red and black, Crisisbless have diplomatically chosen to wear purple. Something of a wild card.

HC Maximum is expected to be another powerhouse, having largely selected a team of maulers, bruisers and destroyers. In a league that probably doesn't have the greatest talent pool, this might be what is needed most. They'll wear the city's traditional white and black, and by and large carry the city's affection.

Brinemouth City is largely expected to be the weakest capital club - hockey isn't really big on the Lazuli Coast, and despite being one of just two clubs there, it's uncertain if their idealistic free-flowing attack can thrive in what will probably be a very punishing league to play in. They'll wear sky blue and navy.

Cranequin Rovers are another relatively weak capital club, but they do have enough talent in them to at least be dark horses. Support has been encouraging, too - in a city without any football clubs in the top tier, they need something to cling to, and the reasonably powerful Rovers in their green and terracotta colours might just be it.

The optimistically-named Vermillion Glory follow the city's pattern of abstract club names, as well as viciously attack-minded teams. They poached a fearsome set of attackers, one good goalkeeper, and the rest just sort of cobbled together. The orange and black are already favourites among the neutral crowd.

Chenoworth is another city that has never had any footballing giants - the brief heyday of the Rovers has long passed since the beginning of the UICA era - and their white kits are symbolic (according to them) of a blank slate for the city, a chance to establish themselves in a new league. Chenoworth have form for this - they're still the only city who gives a damn about korfball, for God's sake.

Laith United is another 'it's more than just a word' team, and in all honesty they've gotten a fairly good team together. Helped, doubtless, by the fact that the Laith rather sees itself as the unwritten ninth state, they've had a fairly decent pool of hardbitten, dirty players to draw upon. Based out of Serpentine, United will wear jade green and navy blue.

Northern Vale is based in Corvette, wearing black and yellow - another powerful side, with a fair amount of players to draw from in theory but in practice they weren't allotted as much dominance of the north as they might have hoped. Still a decent enough squad.

Leichhardt City is the reason for that - the traditional yellow and blue flag was raised moments after Northern Vale came into being. Both have largely played to stereotypes, in that Leichhardt's players are hard, cynical and hail from the urban centre of the north, while Vale's generally picked more attack-minded rural players.

Iron Athletic is a solid, average squad expected to perform reasonably well. They've largely taken the scraps rejected by Maximum, and have in fact ended up more or less with a worse version of the same idea. They'll wear the city's traditional red.

Southfell is expected, by and large, to be one of the weakest clubs in the new tournament. The south has never been a great place for hockey, and Sabrefell's domination of that local talent has been absolute. They do, at least, have nice indigo uniforms and an attack-minded style.

The Macambre River might have a fairly small area, but as the stream that runs more or less the length of the whole nation and finds a centre broadly in the town of Crossroads has generally produced a fairly above-average group of sportsmen. Secure in their sexuality as well, judging by their pink and black uniforms. They're expected to do alright.

Chatswood were a late but inevitable bolter into the league, given Treason's situation with regards to the outskirts feeling like a different place altogether. As in football, the south-eastern Chatswood of the city might be the hub, but the entire surrounding area of Treason is expected to rally around the sky blues. A strong team, but not a title challenger.

Cypher was another late entrant, but far from an afterthought. A very well-supported club financially, they've invested heavily largely in a core of veterans and youth to support them, more or less ignoring anyone actually in their prime. We'll see if it pays off for the men in blue and red.

There always has to be someone wearing lucky terracotta - and in hockey, it seems, it's HC Creed. One of the supply towns ringed around Maximum that used to supply the great fortress city in medieval times, it is perhaps one of the most hockey-loving towns out there. Expect them to punch above their financial weight.

Coret is the other Lazuli Coast club, with a fair amount of money behind them but grasping at straws as far as state league players go. Their light green and yellow kits (yet another 'city colours' choice) are as light as their squad depth, but they have a reasonably good starting six.

Locksley Town is one of the weakest teams in the competition - much like Southfell, they're simply working off Sabrefell's scraps. But there were a couple of Locksley-based players who stayed loyal, and if they can utilise those stars to best effect might just do alright.

HC Sheridan, compared to all this, seems rather an afterthought. It was a surprise to see them accepted, and their dark green and bright orange kits might look flash on the ice, but in reality they're expected to crash and burn.

And so, the clubs are assembled. The stadiums are ready. The fans are ready. The state leagues are alienated, but willing to fight for their return to the top tier. And the future looks bright.

Time to get this show on the road.

Pos                       P   W  D  L GF  GA  GD   Pts
 1 Sabrefell United       76 48  9 19 262 160 +102 153
 2 Vermillion Glory       76 44 11 21 290 227 +63  143
 3 HC Treason             76 41 18 17 211 142 +69  141
 4 Laith United           76 40 10 26 270 216 +54  130
 5 Chatswood              76 39  9 28 185 162 +23  126
 6 HC Maximum             76 38  8 30 159 137 +22  122
 7 Crisisbless            76 35 15 26 187 156 +31  120
 8 Brinemouth City        76 36  9 31 197 177 +20  117
 9 Northern Vale          76 33 16 27 220 180 +40  115
10 Cranequin Rovers       76 32 13 31 197 192 +5   109
11 Iron Athletic          76 31 12 33 139 150 −11  105
12 Leichhardt City        76 31 10 35 145 149 −4   103
13 Chenoworth             76 30 13 33 172 185 −13  103
14 HC Creed               76 27 15 34 205 198 +7   96
15 Cypher                 76 27 15 34 137 163 −26  96
16 Coret                  76 26 12 38 166 207 −41  90
17 Macambre River         76 26 10 40 167 213 −46  88
18 Southfell              76 21 13 42 187 260 −73  76
19 HC Sheridan            76 18 10 48 143 258 −115 64
20 Locksley Town          76 17 12 47 131 238 −107 63

Well, nobody can say it wasn't tight - but at the end of the day, it was the capital city club that won out playing their sweeping aggressive game - with Vermillion sneaking in second. One suspects the northwesterners who entered the season as favourites will be somewhat underwhelmed with finishing third, fourth, fifth and sixth for their best teams. Attendancewise, of course, the season was a resounding success - an initial rush burned out after the first three or four weeks, a steady core staying in place after the honeymoon ended, and then grew steadily in numbers up to the end of the season. Particularly impressive, yet again, is Sabrefell United - who stayed true to their boast of uniting the city behind them. A season, in short, that exceeded all expectations... and the future might just be bright for ice hockey in Nephara.

by **Nephara** » Wed Jan 28, 2015 1:36 am

339 Season Preview

Pos Team                 	P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/-  Pts
  1 AFC Treason         	46  32   7   7  92  36  +56  103  CC
  2 Crisisbless         	46  27  13   6  78  38  +40   94  CC
  3 Sabrefell Athletic  	46  26  10  10  65  39  +26   88  GC
  4 Chatswood           	46  23  11  12  65  45  +20   80  GC, CeDC
  5 Brinemouth          	46  23  10  13  78  56  +22   79  GC
  6 Violence Chariots   	46  23   8  15  86  54  +32   77
  7 Goodfeather FC      	46  22   9  15  71  52  +19   75
  8 Southfell United    	46  20  12  14  75  69   +6   72
  9 Maximum City        	46  17  19  10  48  40   +8   70
 10 Sabrefell Moths     	46  20   9  17  67  60   +7   69
 11 North Laithland     	46  20   9  17  58  59   -1   69
 12 Raven River         	46  18  11  17  58  61   -3   65
 13 Parrhesia United    	46  17  13  16  70  65   +5   64
 14 Chenoworth Rovers   	46  17   9  20  54  63   -9   60
 15 Extreme Hills       	46  17   8  21  61  64   -3   59
 16 Vermillion Rage     	46  14  15  17  67  67   +0   57
 17 Crisisbless United  	46  14  13  19  59  71  -12   55
 18 Maximum Rovers      	46  14  11  21  44  60  -16   53
 19 Corvette Maulers    	46  13  11  22  52  82  -30   50
 20 Leichhardt          	46  11  11  24  35  55  -20   44
 21 Ritter Town         	46  12   6  28  53  90  -37   42  R
 22 Iron City           	46   9   8  29  32  73  -41   35  R
 23 West Brinemouth     	46   7  13  26  39  78  -39   34  R
 24 Cypher Town         	46   7  12  27  45  75  -30   33  R

  1 Coret Hawks           	46  27   9  10   61  33  +28  90  P
  2 Newrook City          	46  25  11  10   65  50  +15  86  P
  3 Vermillion Wanderers  	46  26   7  13  101  58  +43  85  P
  4 Chenoworth Harriers   	46  24  11  11   62  44  +18  83  P
  5 Bishop                	46  24   9  13   65  45  +20  81
  6 Cranequin Wanderers   	46  23  11  12   70  37  +33  80

TOP SCORERS
26 - K. Quinn (TRE)
23 - N. Walker (VIC)
21 - D. Norgen (BRI)
20 - T. Bryson (CHT), A. Rettinger (GDF), R. Monti (PAR)
19 - O. Keast (CRI), A. Rourke (CRU), C. Bray (SFA)
18 - D. Canady (CVM), B. Sternberg (CRI), R. Ironside (GDF), F. Keller (RTT), M. Kellard (SFM), J. Ritter (VIC)
17 - C. Drinkwater (EXH), D. Strauss (RVR), K. Volker (SFU)
16 - D. Arragne (NLA), P. Oliver (SFM), P. Gannon (SFU), E. Havelund (VRR), D. Freuen (WBR)
15 - G. Graz (CHT), M. Sandmire (EXH), G. Kite (MXC), E. Schneider (TRE)
14 - E. Rogalski (CHR), L. Fletcher (CVM), S. Maddon (LEI), T. Kenway (RVR)

AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Kurtis Quinn (TRE)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Roque Acosta (TRE)
Iron Fist (Debutant of the Year): Dale Brightley (SFU)
Team of the Year: Miller (TRE); Kellen (VIC), Marlowe (TRE), Stubbs (CHT), Kestrel (CRI); Knutsen (CRI), Acosta (TRE), St. Cleer (CRI), Mahoney (BRI); K. Quinn (TRE), N. Walker (VIC) - Bench: Seward (SFA); Berenger (CRI), Tachibana (TRE), Clough (BRI), Haagensen (CHT), Brightley (SFU), Bryson (CHT)
Manager of the Year: Emery Lineker (CHT)

by **Nephara** » Wed Jan 28, 2015 1:37 am

by **Nephara** » Wed Jan 28, 2015 1:37 am

by **Nephara** » Fri Jan 30, 2015 5:40 pm

A very uninspiring set of preliminary UICA matches to start off the season. Treason suffered an upset loss away but more than made up for it at home, though it was still a scare. Crisisbless played the Acedonian Dolphins in a very tight fixture, eventually squeezed out on away goals. But Brinemouth will be kicking themselves for a weak performance to squeak through against a Dracon side, an only slightly more assertive performance against a puny Microcalanian outfit, before a brave performance by Jeckland outfit Rack City knocks them out with a late away goal. Chatswood will be disappointed to only scrape through against Oakland side Cobre Grove after a devastating 2-0 home loss, while Crisisbless smashed Southwestern FC before playing a youth team in the home fixture to secure a comfortable aggregate victory.

For all the preseason damp squibs, the season kicks off with a bang as some of the newcomers learn the hierarchy of the top flight. Not without a fight, though, and Vermillion Wanderers have taken heart from Brinemouth’s terrible UICA start - new signing Calisto Matraxis gets off to a flying start and sets up Jayce Carsten for a low, quick shot across Colbright for the first goal of the new season. Brinemouth eventually overwhelm the Wanderers 3-2, but it’s a quality match in which other new signing Matt Roosevelt makes several key saves. Newrook also manage two goals against Chatswood - former Chatswood captain Markus Beckett not celebrating his 17th minute goal and given a standing ovation by the home crowd as he’s substituted in the 75th. Ultimately, though, the Woodsmen win through. There’s a few emphatic wins on the table early on, unsurprisingly including a dominant performance as Treason overruns the Hounds, but somewhat more surprising is Vermillion Rage being taken out by a fantastic Crisisbless United - Richard Barker yet another debutant to excel on debut. A great first match, and hopefully more to come.

Treason, resting several players for the match to come against Crisisbless, can only notch up a 1-0 victory over Raskstad United - Olenna Jaspenner looked sprightly up front throughout but was hampered by poor finishing, and it fell to 19-year old Tanith Rainsford to tuck past Jukka Sedin from twenty yards. Credit to Sedin and Raskstad’s stalwart centreback pair (all capped for Vermark) to keep down the score, and now they’re within reach of an upset at home. Crisisbless, also resting players, fall to a shock late equaliser against Levadia Narkiv, while Chatswood and Sabrefell Athletic edge their respective opponents.

So Karlos ‘Olde School’ Cypress’ rein with Maximum City didn’t get off to the best possible start with a 2-0 defeat to Sabrefell Athletic at home. Worse follows as Parrhesia United actually manage a 3-0 win. Not to say that City don’t have chances, but Elaine Koeller in goal is excellent while former Parrhesia striker Kite is less than clinical. Not so Violence loanee Hearn, Yttribian international Monti and substitute Driscoll, who all put away their chances perfectly. Chenoworth Rovers, meanwhile, do a brilliant job of frustrating Violence Chariots - Rogalski beats Thrace with 12-yard volley in the 8th minute, and then the Rovers defend resolutely for the rest of the match. The Chariots shoot 22 times, but manage just three shots on target, all dealt with (one, admittedly, in spectacular fashion) by goalkeeper Malone.

Young Raskstad United and Vermark striker David Isaacson scores a quick goal in the 7th minute to send the home crowd into rapture, but that only forces Treason forward, and when the dust settles the Stags simply had too much class and overwhelmed them. Still, Raskstad proved a valiant opponent. Less so Levadia Narkiv, who succumb quietly at home to goals from Birgit Sternberg and Lara Galloway. While Athletic also get through after another good victory against Chippewa Falls, Chatswood fall to a Caren Findlay-inspired New Southampton - Findlay evidently trying to press her claim to a starting spot in the Kernansquillec national team. “That was dogshit,” Emery Lineker muttered in the press conference.

The Smiths have had a torrid time of it so far, not scoring and conceding five, but they get back on track by beating their local rivals 2-0. Yes, both goals were from set-pieces, and yes, Catheline Harper (always guaranteed a tasty reception at City, this being her second stint at the Rovers seperated by many fruitful years with AFC Treason) hit a bar with Jelic beaten. But it’s still a good result, much like Chenoworth Rovers’ stalwart defence refusing the Stags. The big Sabrefell teams both head for Crisisbless, and as the Moths heroically manage a 3-1 victory over Crisisbless against the odds, United snatches a late winner through Rook Speed against Athletic to give the green half of the city all the bragging rights on the train home.

An exhilarating pair of matches between some very comparable opponents. Mignon go to an early 2-0 lead against Crisisbless, with the pegasus Rosewing dominant on the flank against an overwhelmed Fiona Berenger, but the Heelers fight back heroically through Keast and, in a substitute appearance for her first minutes in UICA, Adelaide Mathers who strikes home with a spectacular volley. In another even match, Hondo FC have at least sold Laborious Hawk but still boast the likes of Lardireil and Telthathor, and in an end-to-end affair sees three goals apiece. It’s very even until the last ten minutes, in which Athletic concede the equaliser and Hondo threaten far more than that, but Seward in goal keeps the ship steady and keeps them the favourites to win the home leg. Still - they’re fortunate the game wasn’t any longer.

Violence Chariots have not enjoyed the greatest start to the season, and leaving themselves open to the counter for two quickfire goals in the second half blows a 1-0 lead over Coret Hawks. Heroics from Bret Faulkner keep the Hawks in the game, and ultimately they win. Vermillion Rage only have the one win to their name themselves and they look like they’re cruising to defeat against Newrook City, who look reasonably solid with a 1-0 lead in the 70th minute. Suddenly, goals in the 71st, 78th, 89th and 93rd minute and they’re down for the count, Elmo Havelund the hat-trick hero as his tactic of ‘lurking at the far post’ is one that neither Seward nor Daunton seem to figure out.

Two nervy draws away, as it turned out, just paved the way for two scintillating home victories. Keast’s hattrick alone would be enough to have sealed it given how stoutly Crisisbless defended (aside from one corner in the 65th), but Knutsen and Khan also contributed. Athletic, meanwhile, got all of the early jitters out of the way when centreback Matt Breen was caught lazily in possession for the first goal. At home with a need for at least one goal, Athletic were unshackled and attacked endlessly. Gawain was the key, scoring the first and constantly pulling the strings, and by the time an uncharacteristically brutal tackle sidelines him in the 83rd minute the game is already easily in their grasp. This means that for the first time, Nephara has three teams qualifying for UICA proper.

Another good result for Coret, stonewalling Treason thanks to some excellent work by Tzavaras. Only a late goal by Quinn, rising like a salmon for a perfectly-placed header, salvages a point for a disgruntled-looking Gethin Ramsey. North Laithland, meanwhile, have been off to a flying start with three wins, a draw, and just a single goal conceded. Crisisbless rather finds them out, and when 2-0 up in the 72nd minute, compound the matter as Augustine Brandon makes a clumsy two-footed challenge on Damien Arragne. He’s sent off, and suspended for an additional two games, but that alone won’t appease the Spiders - their Sicoutian striker is out for the duration of the season, with only teenager Theodora Covenant as a natural replacement.

The Chariots come to Treason after back-to-back defeats, having lost three of their first five, and not looking great. Inexplicably, they leave with a 3-0 victory. Stanislav Navratil has been decidedly lukewarm so far but is utterly electrifying here, setting up Nate Walker in the 16th minute, scoring himself in the 42nd and continuing to orchestrate the Chariots’ attacking play as Hancock has the rare privilege of hounding Acosta out of the game. A spectacular bicycle kick from Elior Schneider nearly puts the Stags back in the game, but Thrace gets a hand to tip it away, and it’s all over just three minutes later as Leinster’s diagonal run is rewarded by Ritter’s cutback, and she strikes high past Miller to cap off a 3-0 win.

Theodora Covenant, who’d been given the unenviable task of replacing Spiders mainstay Arragne for the entire season (and underlining the importance of having three strikers on the books), was frankly terrible against the Rovers last week. Here against the Vermillion Wanderers, she scores a hattrick, with Rafferty sealing the deal in the 83rd - things just might turn out alright after all. Violence Chariots go straight back to losing ways as they’re sunk at Gargoyle’s Court thanks to a Kellard brace, while AFC Treason hold Brinemouth to a bad-tempered 2-2 draw with nine cautions in all but no sending-off.

A quiet day, the main event coming from the Crisisbless derby. It’s an exciting, end-to-end match in the first half, Keast smashing past Swallowtail for the first goal but a period of fast-paced United dominance (Donachy simply can’t make up for the still-suspended Brandon) leads to a perfect Pablo Corderro forward pass. Andreas Rourke beats Finnan to get there, can’t quite get the angle for the shot, but his floated cross is powerfully headed home by the slender left winger Moltke. That said, the second half is back to the expected Heeler dominance - Keast notches up another and Knutsen gets his first of the season in spectacular fashion, striking beautifully from 25 yards.

Several very high-scoring matches today - Chatswood utterly demolish Extreme Hills 5-1 in a game that showcases all of Rudolf Venetianer’s greatest attributes as a playmaker, Brinemouth annihilate Sabrefell Moths 4-0, Treason vent their recent frustrations with a convincing 3-1 win over River and, surprisingly, Vermillion Wanderers manage to beat the Quakers. Kieron Riordan - a highly publicised free transfer after spending his peak years in Apox - is resolute in goal, but at 35 perhaps not as convincing coming off his line as might be hoped for. It’s that which costs him as he’s slow to intercept a cross that should’ve been his that Rook Colfer powerfully heads home, and while another Nepharim international in James Sleet sets up Rettinger for an equaliser with a perfect cross, Colfer completes his hattrick by showing some unusual poise alongside his brute strength, pace and finishing. The Wanderers really could accomplish something this season...

If Brinemouth are shaken by their early UICA exit, they haven’t been showing it, and Sabrefell Athletic will need to… concede four goals less if they’re to stand up to the Globe Cup group. A consolation goal from Oehman isn’t much consolation. Treason’s squad players have largely failed to step up when needed, and while Callia Katskalidis looks like an exceptional talent, she’s to blame for both North Laithland’s goals - a weak header goes straight to an unmarked Geneva Rafferty who smashes past Miller, and Theodora Covenant catches one of her passes for the equaliser. The former student, Escher Speare, couldn’t look happier to have drawn against the master, but the handshake between former national team assistant and manager is open and sincere.

Treason are faced with a tough prospect in Raynor City United, facing them on home ground. They don’t balk at the challenge, however, and the Stags go toe to toe with them to grind out a 1-1 draw. Valladar striker Saez strikes in the 34th minute, bursting through the seemingly solid Treason line, but the Stags fight tooth and nail to get back into the game and it’s finally rewarded with a thunderbolt from Rutger Connacht. Teenage centreback Kwiimekii Hentetii is the star against Sabrefell Athletic, but it’s Mungwaii, even younger at 16, who scores a 70th-minute equaliser to cancel out a poacher’s goal from Coalan Bray. Crisisbless have no time for tense draws, and blow through Ticomaça Nacional in short order.

Brinemouth are in exuberant form, and utterly destroy Raven River 3-0. River only manage two shots on target themselves, both from former Brinemouth striker Strauss, and the Dockers have now managed eleven goals in three matches, six from a Darek Norgen eager to do better than a mediocre last season (by his high standards). But he’s not the only Valhallan to get on the scoresheet tonight, with Maximum Rovers getting a late goal through Illich-Svitych, Graz netting a winner against the Rovers and Damjkaer, well, being on the losing side. Maximum City hamstring AFC Treason thanks in part to a resolute performance from their own Valhallan, Oskar Hansson, but it’s a team performance that allows them to sit back and let Treason go at them. They’re careful not to overextend, until very suddenly and dramatically they do with Jelic’s quick release allowing Hansson to hoof it perfectly for Carragher to hit a great throughball - lanky centreforward Georgia Kite striking home past Miller. City fans are exuberant, Ramsey is furious, and Treason’s decidedly mediocre start to the season continues.

The NFA Cup kicks off with a number of penalty shoot-outs, most lamentably an appalling match between Blaze and Rookwall on a muddy, drizzling pitch. 37-year old Rookwall goalkeeper Cassandra Ostfalen manages to keep a clean sheet in the match itself before saving two penalties with anohter two ballooned over the bar. Rookwall only get two to score of their own, but it’s osmehow enough. The best viewing comes in the extra time of Sutcroft Athletic against Thratewood, playing out an entertaining 1-1 draw in the 90 minutes before both teams just go for broke, three goals in extra time between the teams putting Sutcroft Athletic into the second round. Too early for any real shocks, anyway.

So recently somewhat at fault against Vermillion Wanderers (who are crushed 5-1 by a merciless Chatswood), Kieron Riordan is largely to credit for Goodfeather FC’s hard-fought draw against a Treason side resting Acosta, Portsmouth and Schneider for the Champions Cup match to come. But Carrick still gives Quinn a perfect cross for the go-ahead goal, with a response in kind by Rettinger’s powerful volley five minutes later. From that point, Treason clearly have the better of the match, but several great saves from Riordan keep them to one - including a penalty after Lily Schindler is felled in the box by a badly flat-footed Emma Kelly.

Burgess FC gives AFC Treason a masterclass in taking a game by the throat, simply not giving the Stags a way in while man of the match Gabriel Jenaro pulls the strings in midfield and Peto Kartal puts the finishing touches on a 2-0 win. Worse news for Treason comes as their superb Licentian goalkeeper falls heavily after a corner, and it’s fortunate for them they hired Brenecian international Jayce Pence over the window. Crisisbless, sensationally, crush Lisda Lokado Goji Salamjĭ 4-1 at home - Keast yet again phenomenal - as Miradela Athletic grinds down Sabrefell Athletic before hitting them on the break in a typically Ko-orenite victory.

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                       P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Brinemouth                12  9  1  2  26   9  +17  28
  2 Sabrefell Athletic        12  7  2  3  18  11   +7  23
  3 Crisisbless               12  6  4  2  19  10   +9  22
  4 Maximum Rovers            12  6  4  2  17  12   +5  22
  5 Chatswood                 12  6  3  3  21  13   +8  21
  6 North Laithland           12  6  3  3  15  10   +5  21
  7 Crisisbless United        12  6  3  3  18  15   +3  21
  8 AFC Treason               12  5  5  2  18  12   +6  20
  9 Vermillion Rage           12  6  2  4  17  16   +1  20
 10 Chenoworth Rovers         12  5  4  3  13   9   +4  19
 11 Southfell United          12  4  5  3  20  13   +7  17
 12 Coret Hawks               12  4  5  3  10  10   +0  17
 13 Parrhesia United          12  4  4  4  13  11   +2  16
 14 Sabrefell Moths           12  5  1  6  14  16   -2  16
 15 Maximum City              12  4  3  5  14  17   -3  15
 16 Violence Chariots         12  3  4  5  12  13   -1  13
 17 Raven River               12  3  4  5  14  19   -5  13
 18 Extreme Hills             12  3  3  6  15  25  -10  12
 19 Vermillion Wanderers      12  4  0  8  13  24  -11  12
 20 Leichhardt                12  3  2  7  10  13   -3  11
 21 Goodfeather FC            12  2  5  5  11  17   -6  11
 22 Chenoworth Harriers       12  1  5  6   7  16   -9   8
 23 Corvette Maulers          12  1  5  6  10  20  -10   8
 24 Newrook City              12  1  3  8   9  23  -14   6

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                      P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 South Laithland          12  8  2  2  23  10  +13  26
  2 Iron City                12  7  4  1  13   4   +9  25
  3 West Brinemouth          12  6  6  0  12   4   +8  24
  4 Bishop                   12  6  5  1  19   9  +10  23
  5 Cranequin Wanderers      12  6  4  2  21  11  +10  22
  6 Rochford                 12  6  4  2  14   9   +5  22
  7 Starling                 12  6  3  3  22  13   +9  21
  8 Cranequin City           12  5  6  1  14  10   +4  21
  9 Cypher Town              12  5  2  5  17  16   +1  17
 10 AFC Integabad            12  4  5  3   6   6   +0  17
 11 Martella Jazz            12  5  1  6  15  13   +2  16
 12 Creed United             12  5  1  6  17  18   -1  16
 13 Ritter Town              12  4  3  5  20  22   -2  15
 14 Mainstream Fist          12  3  5  4  14  20   -6  14
 15 Franchise FC             12  4  2  6  10  16   -6  14
 16 Sheridan                 12  3  4  5  14  16   -2  13
 17 Dross Rovers             12  3  4  5   9  11   -2  13
 18 AFC Serpentine           12  3  4  5  11  16   -5  13
 19 South Parrhesia          12  4  1  7  17  23   -6  13
 20 AFC Shale                12  3  3  6   8  16   -8  12
 21 Iron United              12  2  5  5   8  14   -6  11
 22 Strephonage              12  3  2  7   9  16   -7  11
 23 Sutcroft                 12  2  3  7   8  14   -6   9
 24 West Hook                12  1  1 10   2  16  -14   4

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Locksley                     12  8  4  0  25   8  +17  28
  2 Leopolis Hatemongers         12  7  3  2  18  12   +6  24
  3 Crossroads Town              12  6  4  2  21  11  +10  22
  4 Belgrave                     12  6  4  2  15   8   +7  22
  5 Brookford Otters             12  6  4  2  15  10   +5  22
  6 Armstrong                    12  5  5  2  17   9   +8  20
  7 Hackett                      12  4  6  2  13   9   +4  18
  8 Ox River United              12  5  3  4  12  11   +1  18
  9 North Sabrefell              12  5  2  5  23  20   +3  17
 10 Boleyn Town                  12  3  8  1  13  10   +3  17
 11 Iberia Chenoworth            12  4  5  3  17  15   +2  17
 12 Project +90                  12  4  5  3  11  11   +0  17
 13 Rhagant Schadenfreude        12  4  3  5  12  13   -1  15
 14 Kensey Town                  12  4  3  5  15  17   -2  15
 15 Rushe United                 12  4  3  5  13  21   -8  15
 16 East Laithland Harriers      12  3  5  4  14  14   +0  14
 17 Senway Town                  12  3  4  5  15  16   -1  13
 18 Coret Rovers                 12  3  4  5  16  18   -2  13
 19 Crisisbless Athletic         12  3  4  5   8  13   -5  13
 20 Dubstep Rangers              12  3  2  7  16  19   -3  11
 21 Fenland Albion               12  3  2  7  13  20   -7  11
 22 Gridlock Rovers              12  2  2  8   8  20  -12   8
 23 Long Lake                    12  0  7  5   5  14   -9   7
 24 Falston Town                 12  0  6  6   5  21  -16   6

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                    P  W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Masculine Town         12  7  3   2  21  10  +11  24
  2 Corby Hubris           12  7  2   3  20  13   +7  23
  3 Blaze                  12  7  1   4  26  17   +9  22
  4 Chaker Town            12  6  4   2  16   9   +7  22
  5 Forge Carpenters       12  7  0   5  17  10   +7  21
  6 Gridlock               12  6  3   3  15   9   +6  21
  7 FC United              12  6  3   3  17  12   +5  21
  8 South Brill            12  7  0   5  16  12   +4  21
  9 Sutcroft Athletic      12  6  3   3  13  10   +3  21
 10 Brookway Town          12  6  2   4  25  18   +7  20
 11 Bodkin Road            12  6  1   5  22  17   +5  19
 12 Brindleton             12  5  4   3  12   8   +4  19
 13 Gridlock East          12  5  3   4  21  17   +4  18
 14 North Dubstep          12  5  3   4  18  15   +3  18
 15 Vermillion Spite       12  5  2   5  16  17   -1  17
 16 Stonegrave             12  3  7   2  10   9   +1  16
 17 Diamondqueen           12  4  3   5  16  14   +2  15
 18 Reckdale Town          12  3  3   6  14  21   -7  12
 19 The Strongest          12  3  3   6  12  22  -10  12
 20 Downsparrow            12  3  2   7  14  26  -12  11
 21 Bellamy                12  2  4   6  13  21   -8  10
 22 Ringway                12  3  1   8   8  21  -13  10
 23 Stamper Road           12  2  2   8   7  17  -10   8
 24 Camwell Road           12  0  1  11   2  26  -24   1

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                     P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Southriver              12 10  0  2  25   7  +18  30
  2 Courser                 12  7  4  1  25  13  +12  25
  3 Stekelenbright          12  7  3  2  18  10   +8  24
  4 Geoff United            12  7  2  3  20  14   +6  23
  5 Lackerrun               12  6  4  2  17  10   +7  22
  6 Harrington              12  7  0  5  23  14   +9  21
  7 Grovebank               12  6  3  3  21  14   +7  21
  8 Dartmouth Terriers      12  5  4  3  17  10   +7  19
  9 Ramsay                  12  4  4  4  10  17   -7  16
 10 Barcastle Rovers        12  4  3  5  13  15   -2  15
 11 Tryst Athletic          12  4  3  5  13  17   -4  15
 12 Thratewood              12  3  5  4  12  14   -2  14
 13 Crisisbless Ermac       12  4  2  6  11  16   -5  14
 14 Kommissar               12  3  4  5  13  17   -4  13
 15 Haymaker Town           12  3  3  6   8  12   -4  12
 16 Huysegem                12  3  3  6   4  10   -6  12
 17 Perrett                 12  3  3  6  11  18   -7  12
 18 Norton Road             12  2  5  5  11  15   -4  11
 19 Worthall                12  1  3  8   7  23  -16   6
 20 Virginia Treason        12  1  2  9   7  20  -13   5

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Nay Town                   12  9  1  2  21  10  +11  28
  2 Greygate                   12  8  2  2  23  11  +12  26
  3 Getton Town                12  7  0  5  19  16   +3  21
  4 Fischer                    12  6  3  3  13  10   +3  21
  5 Sandrock                   12  6  2  4  14   8   +6  20
  6 Morningstar                12  5  5  2  16  13   +3  20
  7 Twelvetrees                12  6  1  5  13  11   +2  19
  8 De La Patria               12  5  3  4  22  13   +9  18
  9 Riverkey                   12  4  5  3  19  14   +5  17
 10 Mantlegrove                12  4  5  3  14  11   +3  17
 11 Norpike                    12  5  1  6  18  20   -2  16
 12 Leo                        12  4  4  4  10  14   -4  16
 13 Violence Tigers            12  4  3  5  17  15   +2  15
 14 Pridehome                  12  3  5  4  19  17   +2  14
 15 Inner-East Fairywrens      12  3  4  5  12  12   +0  13
 16 Rookwall                   12  4  1  7  12  21   -9  13
 17 East Slake                 12  3  3  6   9  16   -7  12
 18 Markoni                    12  3  2  7  14  38  -24  11
 19 Starrian                   12  3  1  8   8  16   -8  10
 20 Harbrook United            12  1  3  8  12  19   -7   6

by **Nephara** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 1:33 am

Another stumble on the road for AFC Treason, with Crisisbless United relying on a frankly unusally stalwart performance to ensure that Andreas Rourke’s powerful header wins them a tough fixture. Juergen Swallowtail is unsurprisingly man of the match, but poor finishing also takes its part. Southfell, meanwhile, take Extreme Hills apart at the seams in a remarkably Dale Brightleyless performance - it’s the younger and more dynamic Claire Rusland who excels, scoring twice and notching up an assist in a 4-0 thrashing.

A 6-1 thumping is in the pipes for Corvette Maulers as AFC Treason vent their frustrations on them, four goals for Kurtis Quinn the perfect appetiser in front of a rough-looking fixture against Carter FC. Southfell’s shaky defence is ravaged by Crisisbless, but in turn Crisisbless’ Karl Finnan is clearly struggling for fitness, has a torrid time matched by the lightning-quick Felix Keller and is ultimately forced off in the 55th minute. All the newly promoted teams end up playing each other, and contrary to logic, it’s Chenoworth and Newrook who end up beating opponents that have looked far more comfortable in the top flight.

A tight, grinding affair between Treason and Carter in which there are close to no clear-cut chances is exactly the time for Kurtis Quinn to find space from nowhere, leap further than anyone could predict and nod home a cross from Rutger Connacht - a crucial victory for the Stags in what has been a productive but often tense UICA campaign so far. Credit is due to Jayce Pence, the Brenecian goalkeeper doing well whenever called upon in her last match before Miller’s return from injury. Greater Watford club Leavesden Rovers defend stoutly and force the hitherto on-fire Osric Keast into a quiet game - it’s ultimately fellow Apoxian Luxulya St. Cleer who picks up the slack and takes the game home. Athletic, meanwhile, are up against it in a flying, end-to-end affair in which Palle Angst and Seb Seward, both internationals for their nations, are put to the test. At the end of the day, though, it’s Henrik Ostergaard who proves he has the nerve to convert his chances, and his brace overturns a 1-0 deficit. Still plenty to take heart from for the Reds.

Corvette learn from their experiences against Treason and sharpen up at the back in preparation for a tough test against - no, wait, Michael Kellard nets a hattrick as the Moths win 6-1. Daniel Canady must be having flashbacks to that ill-fated Sabrefell Athletic title defence, only much worse - he’s been the goalscorer in both these matches, but the other 10 around him are hopeless. Treason, riskily, go for an almost unchanged lineup against Chatswood (Miller returns from injury, and has a good game) and grind out another 1-0 win over their local rivals. Meanwhile, the first true Vermillion derby in the modern leagues sees Rage’s brutal attack along the ground triumph over Wanderers’ brutal attack in the air, winning 3-0.

A few brilliant matches as the First and Second Division teams enter the fray, including a spectacular performance from Project +90. They get two early goals against conservative, direct Rhagant, which forces a reaction. Andrew Payman and Dacey Greening, both veterans of the Premiership campaign, eventually get on the scoresheet late in the game as the Project start to tire. Greening scores from a free kick early in extra time, but a desperate Project somehow gets an equaliser against the run of play by Nepharim U-21 Laura Weiler - still, when it comes to the crunch, Rhagant get their victory on penalties. Third-tier Brookford have been surprising Cup specialists in recent years despite being dreadful in league terms, despite the retirement of Cup hero and Premiership veteran Delicious Johnson, but they still beat First Division AFC Serpentine 3-0 at home in a spirited match.

Goodfeather FC have enjoyed a pretty dismal start to the season, but they seem in the ascendancy with a 2-1 victory over Maximum City. Emma Kelly is too easily beaten by Georgia Kite for City’s opening goal, but is stalwart past that point. Goodfeather dominate the remainder of the game but it takes a late Ironside strike to give them a deserved win, while Kieron Riordan came to the rescue a couple of times when the Quakers were caught on the break. Corvette’s defence is still terrible and they concede another four goals to River, though Canady manages a brace and finally gets some help, Raphael Somner breaking through the middle to lash past Brandon Roberts from 20 yards.

No respite for Treason, who are torn down 3-0 by Carter FC and show a distinct lack of the grit they’d showed to beat them at home. No such drama in the Globe Cup, however, as Leavesden are torn open 5-0 by the Heelers and, even more impressively, the star-studded Purple Trees have a torrid time of it at the Barbarossa - 3-0 the final score, Coalan Bray playing himself back into form with two goals but Ole Oehman of Cosumar the star with all three assists, as teenaged rightback Stal Halving was simply not up to the task of marking him. When Sparre came on, Tjelberg’s defence shored up remarkably, but aside from a thunderous long drive from Lammerschon that scorched Seward’s palms, they were unable to get themselves back into the game.

Maximum Rovers - bolstered by a foreign influx over the transfer window - have done surprisingly well early on. They continue that state of affairs by sensationally breaking Crisisbless 4-1. Their ramshackle back four has proven astoundingly solid, and Quebecois international Adrian Middleton has, as always, done his part - but tonight the plaudits go to hat-trick hero Reinhard Drake, the 26-year old at times seeming like so much unfulfilled potential but playing sensationally well tonight. Leichhardt have their own Nepharim U-21 striker to thank for a 4-0 thrashing of Extreme Hills, Sheila Maddon punishing them on the break time and time again as Hills can’t do anything with their dominance, and Larkland marking Drinkwater down so heavily the veteran striker remarked bitterly to the press after the match that “I swear I’ll get a restraining order against that fucking centreback.”

Chatswood have struggled in front of goal lately, and have now scored just three in their last five after a match against Deportivo Nespa in which both teams just lacked that bit of imagination. You’d fancy Chatswood to come up ahead in that sort of grind, but Bryson was on a hiding to nothing up front while Graz and, alarmingly, Venetianer simply went missing.

Gethin Ramsey’s clearly on boiling point. Treason are cruising 2-1 and comfortable favourites in the 60th minute before a late, bad challenge by Tosca Marlowe - very uncharacteristic - sends her to the showers. Green and Tachibana together is still nothing to sniff at in central defence, but late goals from Bazinho and Havelund clinch the game for Vermillion in the last five minutes. Lip-readers aren’t certain, but they’re pretty sure Ramsey shouted “WHY ARE WE SO SHIT?!” after the winner. Corvette, after a dreadful run of form for the team that coincided with a great run of form for Daniel Canady (who has now scored five in four), inexplicably find a 3-1 win in them against Maximum City.

Treason might have Marlowe suspended domestically but she’s good to go for the Champions Cup, making up for the red card against Vermillion with a rock-solid performance against Burgess capped by a goal from Josephus Flaccus, making a run at a perfect time to latch onto Connacht’s ball and smashing it into the net. Rough defeats, however, are on the cards for Crisisbless and Athletic, but by this stage it’s still possible that all three Nepharim clubs could qualify - Athletic, however, desperately need to beat Eastal Lunar in Sabrefell.

Chatswood press hard at home, but can’t get more than a single goal past a sensational Jovick Bucaoto, and that needing to be an inch-perfect strike from Nikita Lundgren. After that, a 72nd-minute equaliser from Kenneth Canapi is a kick in the teeth, though no less than the quieter but far more incisive Nespa deserved. When the dust settles, Chatswood are out on away goals.

Crisisbless United don’t pull their punches, and have in general had an outstanding season so far. Pablo Corderro has been the best free transfer of the period, helping inject some true quality into the midfield. Brinemouth are the latest team to discover this, and now they’re in something of a slump after a fighting start to the season. Elsewhere, there’s somehow four different 4-0 wins - notably, including Vermillion beating the Moths by that scoreline at Gargoyle’s Court, including a goal and an assist for former Moths striker Karma Lazuli.

Iberia Chenoworth Football Club’s chosen eleven realise they have a prime opportunity for Cup Magic (tm) here on the Chessboard. Crisisbless United have rested five players after a sensational 1-0 victory over Brinemouth. They have a strong footballing tradition of their own, representing the Spanish-speaking element of Chenoworth, based in the city’s northeast. Hoping to take advantage of United’s backup goalkeeper Callum Molyneux’s rustiness and the rest for both Richard Barker and Samantha Rhinestone, they set up to attack.
This is a mistake.
Highly rated teenaged winger Andrea Cawdor is first on the scoresheet, then tees up a perfect assist for Andreas Rourke. Markus Chaucer notches up a rare goal, then Rourke again. By the time Rourke’s latched onto Mueller’s cross to half-volley past 31-year old Iberia goalkeeper Thompsinho, it’s 5-0 in the first 45 minutes and Iberia’s chances of an upset look pretty slim. But it’s Cawdor again in the second half, then Mueller, Rourke, a Broadbelt header from the corner, Rourke, Rourke, substitute rightback Michael Westerveld and, well, Rourke, with his seventh of the night. 13-0 the final scoreline, a record in Nepharim domestic competition.
Rather anticlimactically, the bigger Crisisbless loses 1-0 to Mainstream Fist on the other side of the city. Looks like it’s the red and black who have the bragging rights tonight.

Unsurprisingly, after seven goals in the Cup, Andreas Rourke rather fancies himself to net one against Corvette Maulers, somehow scoring a bicycle kick to equalise for United. But with three clashes between big shots, eyes are in Crisisbless and Treason - Crisisbless recover from a humiliating Cup defeat and Brinemouth decidedly do not, a defence shellshocked after a 3-0 defeat to Maximum City has another two put past it in Godswatch. Chatswood, meanwhile, force the best from Kieron Riordan in the Quakers’ goal before finally getting late goals from Venetianer and, from a corner, former Goodfeather man Seth Greig to win the game. AFC Treason and Sabrefell Athletic, both having rested large swathes of their squad in the Cup to prepare both for this match and the upcoming UICA fixture (Treason edged Raven River, but Ritter Town managed a 3-1 upset of Athletic thanks largely to Harry Grimm making an awful slice straight to Harrington and then being beaten at his near post by Wolfgang) have a rough match that Athletic barely edge thanks to Coalan Bray’s typically Audioslav grit and power allowing him to charge through Marlowe and Green before hitting low past Miller.

Treason recover from their league form to brush past Raynor City United - the Stags’ home form has really carried them across the line, and people are very excited in Treason. Also in Crisisbless and Sabrefell - the Heelers are held by a stalwart Ticomaça Nacional, while the Reds get the win they need in a gutsy attacking performance.

A goal-packed weekend, including a 6-3 win for Chatswood, 6-4 for Treason, 5-0 for Goodfeather, 4-1 for Violence and surprisingly not at all in Brinemouth, who fail to even score against Corvette Maulers - the streaky Bryan Veldt has a rare exceptional game, true, but the Dockers genuinely lack bite and Darek Norgen is dangerously out of form, having failed to score in eight. Amidst all this, the Sabrefell derby ends with Rowan Gawain scoring the game’s only goal in the 12th minute, the Moths coming very close to equalising but ultimately, leaving Athletic within a point of top spot.

A Crompton City side packed with Sarian internationals took an early lead through Maxim Tunis but couldn’t last the ninety minutes - Acosta started slow before working his way into dominating the game from midfield, and he chalks up assists both for Flaccus and substitute Schindler. But despite the Stags’ dominance, Crompton think they’ve equalised against the run of play in the 86th minute - fortunately, Jacobo Yap was half a step offside. Reason enough for Treason to be wary going into the home leg.

Norgen is dropped in favour of Felix Schwarzenegger, who looks reasonably tidy against a well-drilled but uninspired Chenoworth Rovers team and scores a well-placed strike to beat former teammate Gerry Malone. Brinemouth win 2-0 and stay top by a thread, helped by a draw for Athletic and a Rook Colfer-driven 2-1 comeback win for Vermillion Wanderers over Crisisbless. But things are looking anxious on the Lazuli Coast.

While Treason go into the half-time break 2-0 up, Crompton never stop pushing for the goals they need, pull one back in the 52nd before Yap equalises in the 68th minute. Miller makes an incredible double save to deny Yap again before Ramsey makes a double substitution - Carrick and Anderton revitalise the game, and Crompton are reduced to desperate defence in the last 20 minutes. They hold out, but it isn’t enough - they crash out, but with plenty to be proud about.

North Laithland suffer a second 4-0 defeat on the bounce, last week to a Brightley-inspired Southfell and now to a Gawain-inspired Athletic, and the prevailing opinion is that defensive midfielder Brighton Lovelock, whose 37th birthday is in two weeks, has sadly outlived his usefulness at this level. Brinemouth manage a more assertive showing in front of goal against Chatswood, Schwarzenegger scoring a brace and Watt taking the third as the Woodsmen are left rueing a missed opportunity to sucker-punch a close rival.

Things start to clear up. Southfell United struggle to break through a determined Franchise FC defence and often look vulnerable on the break. But at least they aren’t North Laithland, who suffer a third successive 4-0 defeat to the Essex-inspired Chenoworth Rovers (the versatile forward playing in the hole this match), and prevailing opinion is suddenly that maybe Patricia Martyn isn’t so great either. Ritter Town get another revenge victory over a Premiership side, this time Goodfeather FC - a poor performance from Cath Gilchrist undercutting her bid to take over Kieron Riordan’s place in the net anytime soon. Mainstream Fist follow up their impressive victory over Crisisbless with a 3-0 smashing of Martella. Maximum City need extra time to beat Iron City, Violence look shaky against Gridlock Rovers… all these are sides who could learn some lessons from the Sabrefell Moths or Maximum Rovers, who cruise to 6-0 and 5-0 victories over their own lower-league opposition.

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                       P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Brinemouth                23  15  2   6  40  20  +20  47
  2 Sabrefell Athletic        23  14  4   5  32  17  +15  46
  3 AFC Treason               23  13  5   5  46  26  +20  44
  4 Crisisbless               23  12  7   4  40  26  +14  43
  5 Chatswood                 23  12  6   5  37  22  +15  42
  6 Vermillion Rage           23  11  5   7  33  27   +6  38
  7 Sabrefell Moths           23  11  4   8  31  26   +5  37
  8 Crisisbless United        23  10  6   7  28  28   +0  36
  9 Violence Chariots         23   9  8   6  32  21  +11  35
 10 Goodfeather FC            23  10  5   8  35  26   +9  35
 11 Southfell United          23   9  6   8  39  28  +11  33
 12 Maximum Rovers            23   8  8   7  34  34   +0  32
 13 North Laithland           23   9  5   9  26  29   -3  32
 14 Maximum City              23   8  6   9  23  26   -3  30
 15 Extreme Hills             23   8  6   9  31  43  -12  30
 16 Raven River               23   8  5  10  31  32   -1  29
 17 Vermillion Wanderers      23   9  1  13  31  41  -10  28
 18 Coret Hawks               23   6  9   8  20  24   -4  27
 19 Chenoworth Rovers         23   6  8   9  21  26   -5  26
 20 Parrhesia United          23   6  6  11  27  34   -7  24
 21 Leichhardt                23   6  3  14  23  29   -6  21
 22 Corvette Maulers          23   3  8  12  24  49  -25  17
 23 Chenoworth Harriers       23   3  6  14  15  35  -20  15
 24 Newrook City              23   3  5  15  19  49  -30  14

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Cranequin Wanderers      23  11   9   3  39  20  +19  42
  2 Cranequin City           23  12   6   5  31  18  +13  42
  3 South Laithland          23  13   3   7  36  25  +11  42
  4 Rochford                 23  12   5   6  33  20  +13  41
  5 AFC Integabad            23  11   7   5  23  16   +7  40
  6 AFC Serpentine           23  11   5   7  35  29   +6  38
  7 Bishop                   23   9  10   4  33  24   +9  37
  8 Ritter Town              23  11   4   8  36  33   +3  37
  9 Iron City                23  10   6   7  25  18   +7  36
 10 West Brinemouth          23   8  11   4  19  14   +5  35
 11 Martella Jazz            23  11   2  10  37  33   +4  35
 12 Cypher Town              23  10   5   8  29  26   +3  35
 13 Starling                 23   9   6   8  43  29  +14  33
 14 Sheridan                 23   9   6   8  24  24   +0  33
 15 Dross Rovers             23   8   8   7  26  23   +3  32
 16 Creed United             23   8   3  12  28  33   -5  27
 17 Mainstream Fist          23   7   6  10  23  32   -9  27
 18 Sutcroft                 23   7   4  12  25  30   -5  25
 19 AFC Shale                23   5   8  10  14  27  -13  23
 20 Iron United              23   5   7  11  17  32  -15  22
 21 West Hook                23   6   2  15  18  29  -11  20
 22 Franchise FC             23   4   8  11  22  42  -20  20
 23 South Parrhesia          23   5   4  14  24  42  -18  19
 24 Strephonage              23   4   5  14  13  34  -21  17

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Locksley                     23  15   6   2  52  24  +28  51
  2 Ox River United              23  13   5   5  30  17  +13  44
  3 Brookford Otters             23  12   7   4  28  16  +12  43
  4 Armstrong                    23  11   9   3  34  17  +17  42
  5 Crossroads Town              23  11   6   6  30  20  +10  39
  6 Leopolis Hatemongers         23  10   7   6  28  22   +6  37
  7 East Laithland Harriers      23  10   6   7  28  23   +5  36
  8 Belgrave                     23   9   8   6  27  20   +7  35
  9 Boleyn Town                  23   8  11   4  25  19   +6  35
 10 Hackett                      23   7  11   5  28  24   +4  32
 11 Iberia Chenoworth            23   7  11   5  30  29   +1  32
 12 North Sabrefell              23   9   4  10  35  30   +5  31
 13 Coret Rovers                 23   8   7   8  37  34   +3  31
 14 Rhagant Schadenfreude        23   7   8   8  18  19   -1  29
 15 Senway Town                  23   7   8   8  31  35   -4  29
 16 Rushe United                 23   7   6  10  26  37  -11  27
 17 Dubstep Rangers              23   6   8   9  31  33   -2  26
 18 Gridlock Rovers              23   7   5  11  21  33  -12  26
 19 Kensey Town                  23   6   7  10  28  35   -7  25
 20 Project +90                  23   5   7  11  23  32   -9  22
 21 Crisisbless Athletic         23   3  10  10  13  24  -11  19
 22 Fenland Albion               23   3   6  14  20  37  -17  15
 23 Falston Town                 23   1  12  10  14  35  -21  15
 24 Long Lake                    23   2   9  12  11  33  -22  15

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Chaker Town            23  13   6   4  31  17  +14  45
  2 Masculine Town         23  11   9   3  39  17  +22  42
  3 Brindleton             23  12   6   5  31  16  +15  42
  4 Corby Hubris           23  12   5   6  29  21   +8  41
  5 Gridlock East          23  11   6   6  41  30  +11  39
  6 Brookway Town          23  11   6   6  38  27  +11  39
  7 Gridlock               23  11   6   6  30  20  +10  39
  8 North Dubstep          23  12   3   8  34  27   +7  39
  9 Sutcroft Athletic      23  10   6   7  22  18   +4  36
 10 Forge Carpenters       23  10   4   9  26  19   +7  34
 11 South Brill            23  10   3  10  30  24   +6  33
 12 FC United              23   9   6   8  31  30   +1  33
 13 Blaze                  23   9   3  11  39  39   +0  30
 14 Vermillion Spite       23   8   6   9  33  34   -1  30
 15 Bodkin Road            23   9   3  11  33  36   -3  30
 16 Ringway                23   9   3  11  23  32   -9  30
 17 Stonegrave             23   5  13   5  17  18   -1  28
 18 Bellamy                23   7   6  10  24  31   -7  27
 19 Diamondqueen           23   6   8   9  22  25   -3  26
 20 The Strongest          23   6   6  11  32  48  -16  24
 21 Reckdale Town          23   5   8  10  24  33   -9  23
 22 Downsparrow            23   6   4  13  25  45  -20  22
 23 Stamper Road           23   5   5  13  15  27  -12  20
 24 Camwell Road           23   2   3  18  11  46  -35   9

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                     P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Geoff United            23  14  4   5  38  24  +14  46
  2 Southriver              23  14  2   7  36  20  +16  44
  3 Harrington              23  13  4   6  43  26  +17  43
  4 Dartmouth Terriers      23  12  6   5  38  20  +18  42
  5 Grovebank               23  12  6   5  36  20  +16  42
  6 Lackerrun               23  11  8   4  35  25  +10  41
  7 Stekelenbright          23  12  4   7  32  23   +9  40
  8 Courser                 23  10  8   5  37  23  +14  38
  9 Ramsay                  23   9  6   8  19  28   -9  33
 10 Haymaker Town           23   9  5   9  17  16   +1  32
 11 Barcastle Rovers        23   8  6   9  26  26   +0  30
 12 Kommissar               23   8  6   9  29  33   -4  30
 13 Tryst Athletic          23   8  6   9  28  34   -6  30
 14 Perrett                 23   7  5  11  21  30   -9  26
 15 Thratewood              23   6  7  10  22  30   -8  25
 16 Huysegem                23   6  4  13  12  23  -11  22
 17 Worthall                23   6  4  13  14  31  -17  22
 18 Norton Road             23   4  8  11  21  33  -12  20
 19 Crisisbless Ermac       23   5  3  15  18  37  -19  18
 20 Virginia Treason        23   3  4  16  18  38  -20  13

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Greygate                   23  17  4   2  43  15  +28  55
  2 Nay Town                   23  15  1   7  29  16  +13  46
  3 Morningstar                23  13  7   3  35  23  +12  46
  4 Fischer                    23  10  6   7  29  28   +1  36
  5 Norpike                    23  10  5   8  30  29   +1  35
  6 Getton Town                23  10  4   9  37  29   +8  34
  7 Twelvetrees                23  10  4   9  22  23   -1  34
  8 Mantlegrove                23   8  9   6  27  24   +3  33
  9 De La Patria               23   9  5   9  36  26  +10  32
 10 Riverkey                   23   9  5   9  36  31   +5  32
 11 Inner-East Fairywrens      23   7  9   7  29  27   +2  30
 12 Pridehome                  23   6 10   7  35  30   +5  28
 13 Sandrock                   23   8  4  11  20  18   +2  28
 14 Violence Tigers            23   7  7   9  30  29   +1  28
 15 Leo                        23   7  6  10  22  30   -8  27
 16 Rookwall                   23   7  5  11  22  33  -11  26
 17 Markoni                    23   7  4  12  22  56  -34  25
 18 Starrian                   23   7  3  13  19  30  -11  24
 19 East Slake                 23   4  8  11  21  36  -15  20
 20 Harbrook United            23   3  6  14  23  34  -11  15

by **Nephara** » Fri Feb 06, 2015 1:14 am

Brinemouth stutter against Vermillion Wanderers, their passing looking laboured and seeming to lack a creative outlet - Mathias, uncharacteristically, is marked out of the game by Gustav Huskarl, Breton looks scared out of his wits every time Pravennan international (not the phrase as damned by faint praise as it seemed a couple of years ago) Matraxis came after him, and Christon was, well, the kind of limited trier usually associated with their opposition. And when Arran Kearney’s high cross was swept on by Colfer, a single touch off the chest before volleying past Colbright in the 61st, manager Larissa Garrotte looked disgusted. “We were sickening, just sensationally bad,” said Garrotte after the game. “Out of ideas, no bottle in defence… the better team won, and it wasn’t the team with the core of three consecutive titles.”

Treason started strong, hitting Cintore on the break to take a lead through Schneider in the 9th minute, but Joey Jardinico equalises for the Barangayans soon afterwards, gliding past Green and slicing over Miller in the one-on-one, hitting the underside of the crossbar before bouncing in. The home side presses further forward, however, and it’s rewarded by a quickfire brace from Flaccus - always threatening throughout the game, his marauding runs are rewarded by Connacht, then in a sensational (lucky?) long ball, Susana Grana. A good result, but not one to rest on comfortably.

Brinemouth recover to blow away Newrook City at home 4-0, but the Rooks have been truly awful this season, languishing second from bottom on seventeen points. While they did, miraculously, beat Chatswood last match, they’re back to their usual in a match that sees Snowy Brennan, normally their lifeline, drop a total clanger for Mahoney to tap in. Maximum City, meanwhile, have struggled this season - but these last two matches have seen some very slick, composed performances as Kite, Carragher and the substitute Cooper put three past Parrhesia United. Crisisbless and Treason match each other blow-for-blow at the top of the table, Crisisbless seeming to have the better play but Treason’s discipline shines through as they score from two perfectly-placed set pieces - Acosta floating a corner perfectly for Quinn and a free kick perfectly for Cheney Portsmouth on the far post.

Treason comfortably signs and seals an away victory. Marty Balido is under siege all game, and while Jardinico manages another goal in a rare break in the Stags’ high line Cintore are simply very clearly second-best. Goals by Schindler, Flaccus and Cardiff send Treason through.

Results force the hand of the Parrhesia United board. The style of play was strong, assertive… but frankly, Parrhesia United have been rubbish all season, languishing in 20th and on an astonishing run of seven straight defeats. Five including today’s capitulation to Goodfeather (Rettinger notching up a tasty hattrick) have been by a three-goal margin - and one of those that wasn’t was a 6-4 defeat to AFC Treason, which hardly says wonders for the defence. And so, Gareth Conway becomes the season’s first managerial casualty. Esther Mackinlay is announced as the replacement two days later - it’s been a while since she’s been in the top flight, but she won a Brenecian title for Northern Union back in the day and has focused more on academy roles since.
All this, of course, should not distract from Brinemouth’s frankly humiliating 5-2 defeat to Coret Hawks. Harald Matheson shows all the dynamism up front that Brinemouth lack, and seems to be everywhere - scoring twice, he also lays on an assist for Griffiths, unable to convert a low cross after sliding in but able to flick it onto the free man (who makes no mistake), but between Watt and Christon the score is 3-2 at half-time. Salvageable for the Dockers? No, as after Faulkner brilliantly tips over a long shot from Firebird-come-Cormorant-come-Firebird Kurt Mathias, Derringer nods home a corner and a mazy run from rightback Beckett ends with them somehow beating Cheney Ralston before a poacher’s finish defies Colbright. Garrotte refuses to speak to the press - former Brinemouth legend of the pre-UICA era Anna Cliving, however, shows no such reluctance. “Today we showed we’re here to be counted. Couldn’t possibly be prouder of this squad after what they’ve done tonight, but as always we’re always looking ahead to our next matches.” Violence at home followed by Treason away looks like a rough ride for the Hawks.

Brinemouth look far from convincing against the Harriers, who have largely been the poor man’s Hawks this season. Darek Norgen saves them, scoring as a substitute in the 82nd minute to end his goal drought, but Daniel Payne somehow manages to hit the post with a left-footed shot before heading the rebound onto the crossbar, a confused and wrong-footed Colbright flailing it over the bar. Even the corner nearly scores, but Brinemouth at least have the points on the board. Vermillion and Coret, the two recently-promoted teams to have convincingly found the Dockers out, both manage impressive 1-1 home draws against Violence and Treason.

No shocks here, but some matches get close. Esther Mackinlay gets her first win as Saints manager against the club they’re set to face in the league next Premiership matchday - it takes extra time, but the Maulers can’t cling on despite an inspired performance from 20-year old shot-stopped Just Hargrave - it’s a rare chance for striker Joanne Kightley, who works hard all match before ultimately providing the brace in extra time. Mainstream Fist nearly chalk up another scalp, desperate defence and a last hurrah from 35-year old Elliot Cabriolet, nominal backup goalkeeper but excelling in every Cup match to date keeping Chatswood from scoring. But the Woodsmen keep tight at the back the way no other opponent of the fist could - and Calista Ferreira, enjoying a rare opportunity to play in the hole, manages a cracking goal and an assist for substitute Cheney Reeve. RItter Town, who’ve also managed some quality scalps, find Violence in Sabrefell a step too far - a frenzied double save from Andrea Curran not enough as a goalmouth scramble sees Navratil stab it over the line. Relegation-battling Newrook City annihilate promotion-chasing Cranequin City, and they’ll hope to take that form into the match against Southfell United in the league.

Esther Mackinlay’s third match in charge of Parrhesia is no classic, but at least a long drive from Hearn to beat Veldt gives them the points over Corvette. It’s the last chance for Markus Foxglove, who simply couldn’t get the Maulers out of trouble, but the search might be long for a replacement - and by this stage it might be a rebuilding operation, perhaps not suitable for someone whose recent signings have largely been ‘thirty-two year old centre forwards’. The Chariots haven’t had the greatest season so far, and there’s even talk of Sumner facing the sack, but Brinemouth’s slump has caught even more headlines and it’s Jess Ritter’s well-taken half-volley that separates the sides at the Scythes.

A typically resolute performance from both teams, but there was one player on either side capable of showing up for that crucial finisher. Dalmshelf, in Pallstadt white, was a constant threat throughout, but Marlowe and Green consistently kept him back from the penalty area - still testing Miller with some fine low shots, but the Licentian equal to him at all times. Siebel, the hero the last time Pallstadt had faced the Stags, came on in the second half on the left wing but Grana stuck to him like glue throughout, but eventually the Stags put their foot on the gas. A couple dangerous counter-attacks were repelled by the Buyanese back line, but eventually it was a classic formula that put Treason in the front seat. Cathy Stokes, who has admirably done everything she can for the squad in her dimished rotational role, puts the perfect cross in for Kurtis Quinn, who ghosts past Milosevici in that special way he does before rising spectacularly to head home. Quick, direct and efficient, the Treason way - and they defend the lead stoutly to hold a crucial advantage going into the next leg.

Vermillion Rage are a team about whom little has been said. Everyone expects their run of form to be put to a sudden and violent end at some point. But entering the final third of the season, one would think people could start taking them seriously - and they show it against Brinemouth. Yes, the Dockers have been abject in some recent matches, but they genuinely looked at least similar to their best form. Vermillion were just better, Saskia Hasselbaink in particular a player of scintillating quality, but 19-year old Gazzincha - whose run in the first team was only enabled by a hamstring injury to Marlowe early in the season - has shown himself to be a player of true Iberian flair. It’s Gazzincha who gets the goal this time, a surging run to get onto a desperate flick-on by Elmo Havelund (another player revitalised by this season) and smashing the ball with unnecessary force into an almost unguarded net.

Treason’s gradual rotation policy - out of necessity, lacking any real game to drop a ton of players - perfectly exhibits their depth, as neither Ásbjörn Tachibana nor Morgan Ashdown are players that really seem like second-string players. And Ashdown does strike the crossbar with a fluky long ball in the second minute of the match, looking almost embarrassed by it. Eventually it’s Acosta who gets the goal the Stags needed for security in the 31st minute, and while Dalmshelf unselfishly gifts Stardust with a peach of a cross for an equaliser, it isn’t enough to stop Treason moving through for a final against Kingsgrove.

This has been the true test of Ramsey’s rotation policies. Moths away, Coret at home, Blau-Weiss away, Violence away, Blau-Weiss at home and now Brinemouth at home, with hardly a chance to rest. It is a run of matches through which the Stags have been unbeaten. Brinemouth are out of form, and in a match of little fluidity it is as always the Stags who are happier with it, and Quinn scores from a cross. The Dockers never look like a threat. In a far more individually interesting match, Maximum Rovers’ veterans and homegrowns combine to see Chatswood taken out. Often-overlooked Brenecian striker Elsa Ashworth chalks up a brace, but Colm Sweane gets on the end of Catheline Harper’s corner before Harper herself finishes the rout with a beautiful long shot. Tanith Bryson rather sheepishly turns in a badly-defended consolation goal, but Chatswood’s away support’s sarcastic applause is worse than the shocked silence that preceded it.

Crisisbless United know a thing or two about thrashings - who could forget a 13-0 victory in the Cup? But they’re on the wrong end of one against their local rivals, Osric Keast netting four as Crisisbless push high, are rarely punished for it, and rain down shots, crosses and fluid forward passing on Juergen Swallowtail’s goal. Meanwhile, Chatswood have been in truly dreadful form, and after dropping to 10-men after a second yellow for Rhys Dundalk, Leichhardt striker Sheila Maddon hits them on the counter in a classic move by the struggling side.

A Treason derby holds by far the most interest of any of these fixtures, but the Stags are favoured by the form book - unbeaten in 20 matches in all competitions, while Chatswood have lost their last three games. But Chatswood hold out in a typically gritty battle in which Schneider and Venetianer get the goals and Greig and Anderton pick up red cards. Newrook, who can’t get a win from anywhere in the league, manage one away in the Cup from a Southfell side who rested Brightley and paid for it with a lack of creativity in attack - Maxine Lynwood, who’s been mounting a push on the first team over Cromwell of late, glances a header past Lewis Whitlam for the only goal of the game. Chenoworth come back from 1-0 down at half-time to show their teeth against Violence, triumphing through Essex - the academy lad has really stepped up as 33-year old Rogalski’s form has derailed - and Damkjaer, while Parrhesia under Mackinlay have taken the revolutionary step of ‘not attacking with their entire squad at once’, and aren’t punished on the break by Maximum City - that match ends 0-0.

After Treason finish out their terrifying run of matches with the Moths and Chatswood, perhaps it’s understandable they rest a few of their best for River. But the Ferrymen prove they’re nobody’s fool, and in a hard-fought 90 minutes a single moment of inspiration from an otherwise poor Theodora Kenway is enough to seal the match for them, breaking a 21-match unbeaten run for the Stags. In an Olde School Vermillion derby (not counting those filthy Wanderers, who are put down by Spike Turnbull’s Quakers) Rage manage a 1-0 win, and the only shock here is that there was only one goal between two such porous defences! But Bazinho’s beautiful solo goal arced past Koeller’s fingertips is enough, and Vermillion keep marching on.

Blau-Weiss again? As Treason lines up for their fifth encounter against the Buyanese in two years, soon to be followed by a sixth, one wonders if the young Nepharim Premiership has found its first true overseas rivalry. But both teams are stalwart at the back, and the away leg for the Stags is goalless. Athletic edge the Senators, Coalan Bray industrious and relentless in attack and providing an assist on a platter for Ole Oehman, but there’s a disaster for Crisisbless as Telino barely edge past them. Hale and Arce might be their high-profile national team stars, but it’s Zenic international Ayoade’s brace that carries the Yttribian side through. Calanian goalkeeper Terry Scott is on the ball to tip over a magnificent free kick from St. Cleer, but at least Erick Khan pulls one goal back for the Heelers in the dying minutes of the game.

Brinemouth’s fifth consecutive loss, and it comes in humiliating fashion - Oehman, Bray, Bergman put the score to 3-0 within the first half. Brinemouth fight back desperately, Christon skying a few chances before finally striking a clean ball past Seward, but they’re pegged back yet again from a nearly undefended corner that Ryan Reagan crashes into at the near post. 4-1, then, the final score. Chatswood manage a hard-fought win over Crisisbless, overturning their backslide in recent league days, and the former Heeler Seth Greig manages both a goal (from the spot, after Graz was brought down by Greig’s replacement, Fabricio Gallardo) and, well, another red card for scything down Sternberg in the 78th minute. Sternberg, limping to an extent, pulled back a goal in the 83rd minute but it wasn’t enough, and the home side held on.

Disaster for the Stags as they go 2-1 down in the first half, Quinn unable to cancel out the fine work of Dalmshelf and Kluzsak - the Pallstadt captain scoring perhaps the goal of the tournament in a long strike that arcs beautifully past Miller. But with trademark Gethin Ramsey brutality, Treason grab Pallstadt by the throat and violently shake them until they’re back in the match. Riesling is flattened by Schneider, Grana sticks to young Stefan Hostmann like a bad infection, and a succession of short, incisive forward passes gets the ball from Acosta to Portsmouth to Quinn, back to Flaccus who lashes the ball into the net. Acosta pulls the home side in front from a set piece and the home side is in rapture, but the Stags are well aware that another goal conceded puts them out on away goals. They defend solidly, Dalmshelf hits a post but Marlowe turns to hoof a clearance well upfield. Flaccus runs onto it, sees a very exposed Pallstadt defence, and his long ball to Connacht on the left is perfect. One good diagonal run, one low strike across goal, the ball going in off the post and Treason have done it, winning against their cross-regional rivals and getting revenge for last year’s defeat. Again. Crisisbless are strangely tame in front of goal after managing just the one goal through Sabrine Portsgate - Sternberg still not fully fit after the Greig tackle - and they pay for it. Telino might have Ayoade and Arce up front but it’s the unlikely source of young Starblaydi defensive midfielder Mario Lopez who gets on the end of a scrappy corner goalmouth scramble, stabbing not so much past as through Flynn King in goal. Crisisbless try desperately to get back into the game with 17 minutes to play, but Telino are simply too tight and disciplined in defence, and the Heelers are dumped out. And so, as it happens, are Athletic - who slump to a miserable defeat against the Senators.

“Jesus fucking christ, what is it with City?!” Lily Schindler, a true Treason hero despite never really being in the spotlight, howls despairingly as she sinks to her knees at full-time. It was a frustrating 0-0 draw 80 minutes in, but two very direct, unerringly accurate counterattacks saw Kite and Parrish put the Stags out - it’s a result that pegs Treason back to 4th, and puts the Smiths up to 5th. “We’re really pleased by the way we’ve rescued our season,” Nepharim international Jess Carragher told the press after the match. “Feels like we’re really close to regaining the fans’ trust, but we can’t afford to sit on this laurel.” They have Chatswood and a number of other teams breathing down their necks, while Treason sit three points back. Sabrefell Athletic’s draw with a resurgent Parrhesia puts them third, Crisisbless secure second over them after putting down the Rooks 2-0, and somehow, after 34 matches, it’s goals from Hasselbaink, Tremmel and Levy that break Leichhardt apart to put Vermillion Rage on the top of the table.

PREMIERSHIP

Pos Team                       P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Vermillion Rage           34  20   6   8  52  35  +17  66
  2 Crisisbless               34  19   8   7  64  37  +27  65
  3 Sabrefell Athletic        34  19   8   7  56  32  +24  65
  4 AFC Treason               34  18   9   7  61  34  +27  63
  5 Maximum City              34  17   6  11  42  31  +11  57
  6 Chatswood                 34  16   8  10  54  41  +13  56
  7 Brinemouth                34  17   3  14  50  37  +13  54
  8 North Laithland           34  16   6  12  42  39   +3  54
  9 Maximum Rovers            34  13  13   8  49  41   +8  52
 10 Violence Chariots         34  13  11  10  44  31  +13  50
 11 Goodfeather FC            34  14   8  12  48  38  +10  50
 12 Sabrefell Moths           34  14   8  12  46  39   +7  50
 13 Crisisbless United        34  13  11  10  42  47   -5  50
 14 Southfell United          34  13   8  13  52  42  +10  47
 15 Chenoworth Rovers         34  11  10  13  29  36   -7  43
 16 Raven River               34  10  11  13  39  42   -3  41
 17 Vermillion Wanderers      34  12   4  18  41  56  -15  40
 18 Extreme Hills             34  10   9  15  41  62  -21  39
 19 Coret Hawks               34   8  14  12  32  39   -7  38
 20 Parrhesia United          34   9   8  17  35  51  -16  35
 21 Leichhardt                34   9   6  19  29  43  -14  33
 22 Chenoworth Harriers       34   6  10  18  25  47  -22  28
 23 Newrook City              34   6   7  21  29  65  -36  25
 24 Corvette Maulers          34   4  10  20  36  73  -37  22

FIRST DIVISION

Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Cranequin Wanderers      34  19  10   5  60  25  +35  67
  2 South Laithland          34  19   8   7  58  35  +23  65
  3 AFC Integabad            34  17  12   5  38  20  +18  63
  4 Cranequin City           34  16  12   6  43  24  +19  60
  5 Bishop                   34  14  13   7  51  34  +17  55
  6 AFC Serpentine           34  16   7  11  52  45   +7  55
  7 Rochford                 34  16   6  12  43  31  +12  54
  8 West Brinemouth          34  14  12   8  33  25   +8  54
  9 Cypher Town              34  15   9  10  44  39   +5  54
 10 Ritter Town              34  15   7  12  55  52   +3  52
 11 Sheridan                 34  14   8  12  33  36   -3  50
 12 Iron City                34  14   7  13  32  27   +5  49
 13 Creed United             34  14   6  14  48  47   +1  48
 14 Starling                 34  12  10  12  61  45  +16  46
 15 Sutcroft                 34  13   5  16  39  44   -5  44
 16 Dross Rovers             34  11   9  14  36  42   -6  42
 17 Martella Jazz            34  12   4  18  47  60  -13  40
 18 West Hook                34  10   6  18  26  34   -8  36
 19 AFC Shale                34   8  12  14  21  36  -15  36
 20 Mainstream Fist          34   9   8  17  30  51  -21  35
 21 Iron United              34   7  11  16  29  45  -16  32
 22 Franchise FC             34   7  10  17  30  54  -24  31
 23 South Parrhesia          34   8   6  20  36  61  -25  30
 24 Strephonage              34   6   6  22  25  58  -33  24

SECOND DIVISION

Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Locksley                     34  22   8   4  71  37  +34  74
  2 Brookford Otters             34  17  10   7  44  30  +14  61
  3 East Laithland Harriers      34  17   8   9  52  32  +20  59
  4 Armstrong                    34  16  11   7  47  30  +17  59
  5 Ox River United              34  17   8   9  42  30  +12  59
  6 Boleyn Town                  34  15  12   7  42  31  +11  57
  7 North Sabrefell              34  17   5  12  59  41  +18  56
  8 Iberia Chenoworth            34  15  11   8  47  41   +6  56
  9 Leopolis Hatemongers         34  15   9  10  44  37   +7  54
 10 Belgrave                     34  14  10  10  40  33   +7  52
 11 Rhagant Schadenfreude        34  13  11  10  30  25   +5  50
 12 Crossroads Town              34  13   9  12  41  34   +7  48
 13 Hackett                      34  10  17   7  48  39   +9  47
 14 Coret Rovers                 34  12   8  14  46  49   -3  44
 15 Kensey Town                  34  10  12  12  45  49   -4  42
 16 Gridlock Rovers              34  11   6  17  41  53  -12  39
 17 Senway Town                  34   9  10  15  40  59  -19  37
 18 Dubstep Rangers              34   8  10  16  43  53  -10  34
 19 Rushe United                 34   8   8  18  34  53  -19  32
 20 Project +90                  34   7  10  17  34  49  -15  31
 21 Crisisbless Athletic         34   5  15  14  27  37  -10  30
 22 Long Lake                    34   6  12  16  20  44  -24  30
 23 Fenland Albion               34   6   8  20  27  50  -23  26
 24 Falston Town                 34   4  14  16  28  56  -28  26

THIRD DIVISION

Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 North Dubstep          34  20   5   9  54  33  +21  65
  2 Brindleton             34  18  10   6  49  28  +21  64
  3 Masculine Town         34  17  11   6  58  30  +28  62
  4 Chaker Town            34  17  11   6  46  26  +20  62
  5 Corby Hubris           34  16  11   7  47  32  +15  59
  6 Brookway Town          34  17   7  10  58  40  +18  58
  7 Gridlock East          34  16  10   8  55  39  +16  58
  8 Sutcroft Athletic      34  15   9  10  37  30   +7  54
  9 Gridlock               34  14  10  10  41  32   +9  52
 10 Forge Carpenters       34  15   7  12  38  30   +8  52
 11 Blaze                  34  15   5  14  64  52  +12  50
 12 Bodkin Road            34  14   8  12  52  48   +4  50
 13 South Brill            34  13   8  13  45  40   +5  47
 14 FC United              34  13   8  13  39  40   -1  47
 15 Vermillion Spite       34  12   8  14  45  55  -10  44
 16 Diamondqueen           34  11   9  14  38  38   +0  42
 17 Stonegrave             34   8  17   9  27  30   -3  41
 18 Downsparrow            34  10   8  16  36  56  -20  38
 19 Bellamy                34   9   8  17  33  47  -14  35
 20 Ringway                34  10   4  20  27  47  -20  34
 21 The Strongest          34   8   9  17  47  75  -28  33
 22 Reckdale Town          34   7   9  18  41  61  -20  30
 23 Stamper Road           34   7   6  21  23  49  -26  27
 24 Camwell Road           34   5   4  25  22  64  -42  19

CONFERENCE WEST

Pos Team                     P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Grovebank               34  19   9   6  51  27  +24  66
  2 Lackerrun               34  17  12   5  56  37  +19  63
  3 Geoff United            34  18   8   8  52  35  +17  62
  4 Dartmouth Terriers      34  16  12   6  57  30  +27  60
  5 Southriver              34  18   6  10  52  32  +20  60
  6 Courser                 34  16  11   7  57  31  +26  59
  7 Harrington              34  17   6  11  58  40  +18  57
  8 Stekelenbright          34  16   9   9  40  30  +10  57
  9 Kommissar               34  13  10  11  51  48   +3  49
 10 Barcastle Rovers        34  13   7  14  40  45   -5  46
 11 Tryst Athletic          34  13   7  14  42  50   -8  46
 12 Haymaker Town           34  12   6  16  25  27   -2  42
 13 Perrett                 34  11   8  15  36  44   -8  41
 14 Ramsay                  34  10  10  14  30  49  -19  40
 15 Thratewood              34  10   9  15  34  41   -7  39
 16 Norton Road             34   7  13  14  32  45  -13  34
 17 Huysegem                34   8   7  19  17  42  -25  31
 18 Worthall                34   7   7  20  19  45  -26  28
 19 Virginia Treason        34   6   9  19  31  55  -24  27
 20 Crisisbless Ermac       34   7   6  21  33  60  -27  27

CONFERENCE EAST

Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
  1 Greygate                   34  24   5   5  59  23  +36  77
  2 Morningstar                34  20  10   4  53  33  +20  70
  3 Mantlegrove                34  19   9   6  49  26  +23  66
  4 Nay Town                   34  18   6  10  42  27  +15  60
  5 Riverkey                   34  15   9  10  56  36  +20  54
  6 Sandrock                   34  15   7  12  32  25   +7  52
  7 Fischer                    34  14   9  11  36  37   -1  51
  8 De La Patria               34  14   8  12  54  35  +19  50
  9 Getton Town                34  15   5  14  53  46   +7  50
 10 Inner-East Fairywrens      34  12  11  11  35  36   -1  47
 11 Twelvetrees                34  13   5  16  30  38   -8  44
 12 Violence Tigers            34  11   9  14  42  45   -3  42
 13 Norpike                    34  12   6  16  37  47  -10  42
 14 Leo                        34  10   9  15  31  44  -13  39
 15 Pridehome                  34   8  14  12  46  48   -2  38
 16 Starrian                   34  11   3  20  31  43  -12  36
 17 Markoni                    34  10   5  19  34  76  -42  35
 18 Rookwall                   34   8   9  17  30  48  -18  33
 19 East Slake                 34   6  13  15  28  44  -16  31
 20 Harbrook United            34   6   6  22  30  51  -21  24

Nepharan Domestic Newswire - the Zenith

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