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Nephara
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Posts: 1525
Founded: Jun 06, 2014
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Nephara » Mon Dec 26, 2016 4:27 pm

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Season 66 Preview

LAST SEASON
Pos Team                      P   W   D   L  For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 AFC Treason 46 27 10 9 90 50 +40 91
2 Brinemouth 46 27 9 10 114 54 +60 90
3 Sabrefell Athletic 46 25 11 10 77 42 +35 86
4 Creed United 46 26 7 13 81 61 +20 85

5 Brookford Otters 46 23 14 9 83 55 +28 83
6 Starling 46 23 13 10 72 43 +29 82

7 Sabrefell Moths 46 23 11 12 92 60 +32 80
8 Vermillion Rage 46 23 11 12 78 57 +21 80
9 Crisisbless 46 22 10 14 74 58 +16 76
10 Coret Hawks 46 22 8 16 67 50 +17 74
11 Violence Chariots 46 20 9 17 83 89 -6 69
12 North Laithland 46 18 7 21 68 74 -6 61
13 Chenoworth Harriers 46 16 12 18 61 80 -19 60
14 Parrhesia United 46 16 10 20 64 75 -11 58
15 Bishop 46 15 11 20 45 58 -13 56
16 Chatswood 46 15 9 22 48 66 -18 54
17 Newrook City 46 14 11 21 44 60 -16 53
18 West Brinemouth 46 12 11 23 30 60 -30 47
19 Maximum Rovers 46 11 13 22 58 79 -21 46
20 Goodfeather FC 46 12 8 26 56 89 -33 44
21 Maximum City 46 9 16 21 51 76 -25 43
22 Sheridan 46 10 9 27 31 64 -33 39
23 Armstrong 46 7 15 24 40 76 -36 36
24 South Laithland 46 6 15 25 40 71 -31 33


1 Corvette Maulers 46 30 5 11 79 34 +45 95
2 AFC Serpentine 46 29 7 10 74 41 +33 94
3 Cranequin Wanderers 46 25 14 7 83 44 +39 89

4 Leichhardt 46 22 16 8 57 27 +30 82
5 Raven River 46 24 10 12 80 51 +29 82
6 Extreme Hills 46 19 16 11 75 57 +18 73
TOP SCORERS
28 - Johnson (SFM)
27 - Scafidis (BRI)
25 - Loeher (BRO)
24 - Cantor (TRE)
22 - Voeller (VIC)
21 - Cantor (STA)
19 - Bottlegreen (BRI), Farrier (CRD), Stavanger (CRU)
18 - Antonio (COH), Lucassen (SFA)
17 - Silkman (BRI), Curtis (BRO)
16 - West (CHH), Redmayne (CRI), Meier (SFM), Portsgate (TRE)
AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Aaliyah Johnson (SFM)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Konrad Gosforth (BRI)
Iron Heart (U-21 Player of the Year): Sieglinde Lohengrin (CRI)
Iron Fist (Debutant of the Year): Conan McMillan (CRD)
Team of the Year: Hargrave (STA); Koehler (STA), Belfast (BRO), Katskalidis (TRE), Lovelock (SFA); McMillan (CRD), Gosforth (BRI), Sarracena (SFA), Meier (SFM); Scafidis (BRI), Johnson (SFA) - Bench: Ballard (TRE); Gerhardt (SFA), Vyntra (TRE), Alemane (VRR), Labonne (TRE), Bottlegreen (BRI), Loeher (BRO)
Managers of the Year: Ezekiel Statham (CRD)


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League Finish: 15th
Cup Run: Fifth Round
Stadium: Crossgate (23,000)
Nickname: the Bishops
Captain: Monica Cunnington
Goal Tallies: Dragana (13); Casarine (10); Cunnington (7); Wintergren, Rosenberg (4); Kresinger, Woadswell (2); Neptune, Joanson, Barker (1) - 45 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-3) 1 - Scannell; 2 - Farlane, 5 - Rosenbauer, 6 - Crinion, 3 - Kresinger; 21 - Cunnington (c), 4 - Pennyfeather, 11 - Rosenberg; 22 - Milligan, 9 - Jaspenner, 10 - Dragana
In: Olenna Jaspenner (AFC Treason, 2.5m), Jacqui Milligan (Sheridan, 1.7m)
Out: Tanya Barker (Yillog City, free), Nat Casarine (FC Maris Ladies, free)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 15th, W15, D11, L20, GF45, GA58, 56 pts
64: Premiership; 11th, W17, D13, L16, GF49, GA48, 64 pts
63: First Division; 3rd, W27, D6, L13, GF66, GA36, 87 pts, Promoted
62: First Division; 7th, W20, D13, L13, GF59, GA46, 73 pts
61: First Division; 7th, W23, D9, L14, GF48, GA30, 78 pts
60: Premiership; 23rd, W6, D15, L25, GF38, GA67, 33 pts, Relegated
59: Premiership; 18th, W12, D13, L21, GF39, GA60, 49 pts
58: First Division; 1st, W31, D7, L8, GF90, GA41, 100 pts, Promoted
57: First Division; 5th, W21, D16, L9, GF70, GA43, 79 pts
56: First Division; 5th, W24, D9, L13, GF65, GA45, 81 pts

Another good season for Bishop. Spurlock's hard-running, tight-pressing side managed another comfortable midtable finish, and the expectation is that there will be more to come next season following some expansion on their occasionally blunt front line. Casarine, a decent and spirited 30-year old centreforward, was released along with the experienced winger Barker. That said, Bishop didn't quite reach their targets for replacement, and 31-year old Jaspenner and the inexperienced Milligan were, well... not quite the calibre desired. Even so, this is a good team they've brought together.

They should play some decent football, as well - Spurlock's playstyle is hard-pressing, hard-running and deadly on the counter, and they now have a finisher to add meat to their threats. The back is pretty solid, Scannell an acrobatic and proven shot-stopper at this level while the silk of Project +90 graduate Rosenbauer and the steel of the hulking Crinion kept attackers at bay - a bit of asymmetry on the wings was sometimes problemativ, with Farlane older, slower and more conservative than the lightning-fast and adventurous Kresinger. The midfield, once a strong point, has reverted to the mean somewhat - the excellent captain Monica Cunnington remains one of their best assets, but at 34, Pennyfeather's unable to keep up with Premiership pace and Rosenberg has never quite managed to be better than just average. On the flanks, Milligan is all pace but yet to find her final ball, while Dragana on the left is arguably the team's best player - when Bishop are on the front foot, she combines with Kresinger to terrifying effect. Up front, Olenna Jaspenner can float back and link up the midfield when it suits the team but is entirely happy to just be the finisher as well. The depth might be stretched in places, especially with uncertain midfielders like Fletridge and Joanson, but 31-year old Theresa Wintergren (once of Brinemouth) is an electrifying impact substitute. So all in all, Bishop are a decent side that will stay up comfortably... but they're unlikely to be involved at either business end of the table.

PREDICTION - 15th.
Manager: Alexis Spurlock
Asst. Manager: Karl Partell
Goalkeepers: 1 - Rebecca Scannell, 20 - Cethin Manson, 25 - Connor Risdon
Defenders: 2 - Jacqui Farlane, 3 - Ashley Kresinger, 5 - Joscelyn Rosenbauer, 6 - Darren Crinion, 17 - Hilde Scottrie, 18 - Chris Ravett, 19 - Tomas Hammersmith, 31 - Alcander Visser
Midfielders: 4 - Andreas Pennyfeather, 11 - Josef Rosenberg, 15 - Adrienne Fletridge, 21 - Monica Cunnington (c), 23 - Matt Joanson, 35 - Nicki Reed
Forwards: 7 - Theresa Wintergren, 9 - Olenna Jaspenner, 10 - Jazmin Dragana (CMT), 14 - Leofric Woadswell, 16 - Lysander Corsell, 22 - Jacqui Milligan, 32 - Lorelei Neptune

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League Finish: 2nd
Cup Run: Third Round
Stadium: Portsgate (57,000)
Nickname: the Dockers
Captain: Jonathan Bosetti
Goal Tallies: Scafidis (27); Bottlegreen (19); Silkman (17); Gosforth (14); Candelo (10); Juquinho (8); Sable (6); Röènôùjýâ (5); Beckcamp, Bosetti (2); Nkembe, Rosewood, Drinkwater (1) - 1 o.g. - 114 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-3) 1 - Vintner; 23 - Brymora, 5 - Nkembe, 22 - Calabrese, 13 - Röènôùjýâ; 21 - Gosforth, 4 - Bosetti (c), 8 - Candelo; 15 - Bartley, 10 - Scafidis, 11 - Silkman
In: Kyron Bartley (FC Barciddia, undisclosed), Juan Pablo Morales (Viento Oeste, 8.5m)
Promoted: Dimitra Exarchopolous (LW, 18), Lasse Scharnberg (ST, 18), Lucia Silkemark (CM, 19)
Out: Rachel Sable (Phalanx AF, 8m), Tanya Bottlegreen (AC Izotz Zubia, 6m), Juquinho (OAS Royal FC, 5m), Christian Beckcamp (Nomad Brotherhood FC, 3m), Karel Jonason (Diamondqueen, 750k)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 2nd, W27, D9, L10, GF114, GA54, 90 pts, Champions Cup
64: Premiership; 6th, W25, D12, L14, GF74, GA58, 72 pts, Globe Cup
63: Premiership; 2nd, W25, D12, L9, GF103, GA56, 87 pts, Champions Cup
62: Premiership; 1st, W31, D10, L5, GF129, GA52, 103 pts, Champions Cup
61: Premiership; 1st, W33, D10, L3, GF103, GA38, 109 pts, Champions Cup
60: Premiership; 3rd, W25, D10, L11, GF86, GA51, 85 pts, Champions Cup
59: Premiership; 2nd, W30, D9, L7, GF92, GA37, 99 pts, Champions Cup
58: Premiership; 2nd, W25, D12, L9, GF80, GA49, 87 pts, Champions Cup
57: Premiership; 7th, W23, D6, L17, GF73, GA50, 75 pts
56: Premiership; 5th; W23, D10, L13, GF78, GA56, 79 pts, Globe Cup

Something of a rebuilding year for the Dockers, perhaps - as others around them smash transfer records, the Dockers opt instead to offload the old and invest in youth. They aimed to get Bereveskos early in the window, but found themselves outflanked by Sabrefell Athletic. That forced their hand in buying... probably a better player, in Kyron Bartley, the main addition to their starting lineup. Morales, now 19 and already a staple in the Ceni national team, is the goalkeeper for the future. The best news of all? After a protracted saga, reigning Premiership player of the year Konrad Gosforth agreed to sign a new four-year deal. But sacrifices had to be made, with Rachel Sable's transfer request ultimately granted reluctantly (it sees her join the Phalanx project in Ceni), Bottlegreen returning to Zozi, Juquinho and Beckcamp trying their hands in Cosumar and who the hell is Karel Jonason anyway? Well, he's gone from third-choice at the Dockers to backup in the First Division, anyway. The academy's had a somewhat barren run of late, but Exarchopolous and Silkemark might just break that mould.

But they're not to be trifled with - this is still a powerhouse of a side. Brinemouth always is, especially under Stephen Frew's strong leadership, and they retain their emphasis on flowing attacking football so dedicated to outscoring the opposition that it'd make a Farf pro- well, not flip channels, anyway. Between the posts, Matt Vintner remains indisputed starter, for good reason giving his sweeping, shot-stopping and set-piece stifling prowess. One very silky centre-half in front of him in Gianluigi Calabrese often starts the counterattacks with big sweeping passes, while Nkembe, though not quite fulfilling the promise he was initially hyped for, is a fearsome prospect to come up against. Homegrown Danijel Brymora and Farf international mainstay Roenoujya may be at opposite ends of their career, 20 and 30 respectively, but they're very much in the same mould of bloody-mindedly aggressive fullbacks who look more like wingers at times. Brymora's the quicker, stronger and dirtier of the two, but Roenoujya's the equal of many attacking midfielders in his technical skillset. Bosetti anchors playmaker Candelo and rampaging war machine Gosforth to form what was once called the Valladar Connection but with Locke gone is now usually referred to as the Bosetti Triangle. Up front, Bartley, Scafidis and Silkman - internationals all - are a free-flowing, energetic and interchangeable front three, though Scafidis' aerial prowess lends her to linger in the box. The defensive depth is great, with Rosewood, Finnan and Bayliss all hardened successes at this level, but further forward can the likes of Winter and Mytaras step up if needed? The jury is out - but if the Dockers want to be serious title contenders, which they do, they need a clean bill of health.

PREDICTION - 5th.
Manager: Stephen Frew (APX)
Asst. Manager: Erica Kenney (CAS)
Goalkeepers: 1 - Matt Vintner, 20 - Chase Rushden, 25 - Juan Pablo Morales (CEN)
Defenders: 2 - Malachi Rosewood, 3 - Tessa Bayliss, 5 - Temperance Nkembe, 6 - Lukas Finnan, 13 - Drê Röènôùjýâ (FFD), 18 - Axel Fauler, 22 - Gianluigi Calabrese (OSR), 23 - Danijel Brymora
Midfielders: 4 - Jonathan Bosetti (VLD, c), 7 - Konrad Gosforth, 8 - Osman Candelo (VLD), 16 - Diogenes Kutris, 21 - Lorne Winter, 31 - Lucia Silkemark
Forwards: 10 - Chrysanthe Scafidis, 11 - Jess Silkman, 12 - Petros Mytaras, 15 - Kyron Bartley (OSR), 17 - Karin Drinkwater, 32 - Dimitra Exarchopolous, 36 - Lasse Scharnberg

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League Finish: 5th
Cup Run: Fifth Round
Stadium: The Rock (20,000)
Nickname: the Otters
Captain: Hadrian Belfast
Goal Tallies: Loeher (25); Curtis (17); Kestrel (8); Rivers (7); Whiteforest, Bradburn (5); Heitinger (4); Belfast, Carragher (3); Duprey (2); Haubeck, M'Baye (1) - 2 o.g. - 83 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-4-2) 1 - Alphonse; 18 - Siegrist, 5 - Haubeck, 6 - Ynoa, 13 - Heitinger; 7 - Schwarzer, 4 - Dimitar, 19 - Kestrel (c), 11 - Whiteforest; 23 - Curtis, 10 - Loeher
In: Emily Ynoa (Jaunepont Herault, 3m), Olivia Schwarzer (Southfell United, 3m), Kurtis Siegrist (Belgrave, 2.75m), Tanya Chilton (Armstrong, 2.5m), Camille le Sueur (Charmat Training Centre, 100k)
Promoted: Esther Vannatter (CB, 18)
Out: Brendan Rivers (East Fyre FC, 3m), Adrian Carradine (Goodfeather FC, 2m), Penelope Karassalidis (Bufelino, free)
Retired: Jess Carragher (CM, 36), Paolo Cirrincione (LB, 36), Hadrian Belfast (CB, 38)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 5th, W23, D14, L9, GF83, GA55, 83 pts, Globe Cup
64: Premiership; 3rd, W21, D13, L12, GF69, GA46, 76 pts, Champions Cup
63: Premiership; 10th, W19, D11, L16, GF84, GA71, 68 pts
62: Premiership; 7th, W21, D8, L17, GF87, GA73, 71 pts, Globe Cup
61: Premiership; 15th, W14, D9, L23, GF66, GA76, 51 pts
60: First Division; 2nd, W26, D7, L13, GF106, GA72, 85 pts, Promoted
59: First Division; 11th, W17, D15, L14, GF48, GA40, 66 pts
58: Second Division; W28, D8, L10, GF76, GA34, 92 pts, Promoted
57: Second Division; 6th, W21, D12, L13, GF53, GA40, 75 pts
56: Second Division; 13th, W17, D9, L20, GF46, GA49, 60 pts

The end of an era. The Otters' run was glorious while it lasted, but maybe a little too glorious, as Gerhard Thunder takes the managerial vacancy everyone knew he would at the club his status remains legendary at - Sabrefell Moths. But they picked a replacement well - Matilda Heisenberg, the mind and voice behind Crisisbless United's remarkable rise and long-delayed fall. Much more rise than fall, really. The Otters had an incredible season last time, ending in 5th and scoring freely, but they look... ill-equipped for war on two fronts. So Heisenberg's gone to patch up what she can - defensive holes filled by experienced Llamanean international Ynoa and Siegrist, Armstrong's start performer over the last two seasons in Chilton, a former Treason winger in Schwarzer, a highly-rated centre-half in Vannatter and whoever le Sueur is. They've lost... well. Rivers and Carragher, both internationals, while Carradine, Karassalidis and Cirrincione were all solid veteran performers. But what hurts most of all... yes, it was his time. Hadrian goddamn Belfast hangs up his boots at last. And immediately takes up a coaching role at Sabrefell Athletic.

So what does Heisenberg have at her disposal? Well, she's sticking with the 4-4-2 she was handed for now - but there will likely be changes next season. For now, the experiment involves... a few of last season's key players, but much of the veteran spine is missing. They'll still be expected to play fast, attacking football, of course, as they take their splendid vapourwave kits to UICA. Rook Alphonse played out of his skin last season, great distribution and seemingly unstoppable between the posts at times - will he regress to the mean? Without a clear replacement, that's a key question. At least the redoubtable Haubeck and classy Emily Ynoa will be a good defensive basis for them. The fullbacks, Siegrist and Heitinger, are in the same mould - very quick, attack-minded and diligent, with low centres of gravity and a fondness for crosses. Dimitar is a battler who can't pass - 32-year old former international Kestrel can play about nine different positions, but excelled in particular last season as the side's primary central playmaker, a role that Tanya Chilton can also play very well. Schwarzer is an excellent right winger who was transparently too good for the second tier in the past couple of seasons, but Whiteforest... bluntly isn't quite her match, especially at 30. But diligent Malakai Curtis and the ruthless Loeher don't need great service - they'll make the best of any chance between them. In terms of other options? A handful of unspectacular players, Chilton aside. This side, for all its virtues, will struggle to fight on multiple fronts - expect a bounce after their Globe Cup elimination.

PREDICTION - 10th.
Manager: Matilda Heisenberg
Asst. Manager: Gretchen Heath
Goalkeepers: 1 - Rook Alphonse, 12 - Morgan Bell, 25 - Ellen Wheelock
Defenders: 2 - Bastian Keller, 5 - Katrin Haubeck, 6 - Emily Ynoa (SLL), 13 - Janne Heitinger, 18 - Kurtis Siegrist, 24 - Marika Brind, 33 - Esther Vannatter, 35 - Camille le Sueur (GAD)
Midfielders: 4 - Ursa Dimitar, 7 - Olivia Schwarzer, 8 - Tanya Chilton, 11 - Kelpie Whiteforest, 16 - Jasper Dyer, 19 - Brigid Kestrel (c), 20 - Freelove M'Baye, 21 - Elaine Brackwater
Forwards: 9 - Paul Bradburn, 10 - Nikita Loeher, 17 - Ulysses Mithradates, 23 - Malakai Curtis, 36 - Cantra Duprey

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League Finish: 16th
Cup Run: Fourth Round
Stadium: Westcroft (28,000)
Nickname: the Woodsmen
Captain: Devane Miller
Goal Tallies: Matheson (13); Corsie (8); Chilmark, Cohen (6); Archer (4); Graz (3); Konoval (2); Schuster, Miller, Flynn, Sabitzer, Suttner (1) - 1 o.g. - 48 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-1-3-2) 1 - Middlesbrough; 2 - Vlahos, 6 - Miller (c), 13 - Strauss, 3 - Chaplain; 7 - Archer, 17 - Flynn, 21 - Sabitzer; 8 - Corsie; 16 - Nketiah, 15 - Mavididi
In: Isaac Nketiah and Serge Mavididi (Handon United, 10m), Darius Rashkin (West Hook, free)
Promoted: Timo Blankman (CM, 18), Bernhard Duisburg (ST, 19), Kayla Dorran (LB, 19)
Out: Helmut Chilmark (Duke of the North, 8m), Dieter Konoval (KT Moreazerua, 7m), Gustaf Graz (Matekkipper Knuckles, 2m), Ellen Broadis (FADA, free), Rook Keenan (Cranequin City, free), Tzipporah Cohen (Emerald City Harmony, loan)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 16th, W15, D9, L22, GF48, GA66, 54 pts
64: Premiership; 18th, W14, D13, L19, GF40, GA51, 55 pts
63: Premiership; 11th, W17, D17, L12, GF58, GA48, 68 pts
62: Premiership; 5th, W23, D14, L9, GF62, GA36, 83 pts, Globe Cup
61: Premiership; 5th, W23, D12, L11, GF64, GA43, 81 pts, Globe Cup
60: Premiership; 6th, W20, D12, L14, GF45, GA32, 72 pts, Globe Cup
59: Premiership; 10th, W17, D14, L15, GF53, GA54, 65 pts
58: Premiership; 7th, W21, D11, L14, GF68, GA57, 74 pts
57: Premiership; 5th, W22, D13, L11, GF71, GA48, 79 pts, Globe Cup
56: Premiership; 4th, W23, D11, L12, GF65, GA45, 80 pts, Globe Cup

Chatswood are in dire straits. Three very strong teams come up from the First Division and, West Brinemouth excepted, there's no obvious candidates for the bottom four. One of those candidates is... Chatswood. They did pretty well to come 16th last season, but that was before selling their best two players (both young, homegrown and vital parts of their survival), letting three forwards leave, seeing four full internationals out the door in total and, hell, for good measure, Rook Keenan refused a one-year contract extension to turn out for the Terracotta Army in the second tier. But, thankfully, in the dying hours of the window they were finally able to throw their money at important new forwards in Nketiah and Mavididi. Issue is that there was no money left over so basically everyone else they brought in is a kid. Rashkin is better than he looks on paper - a 23-year old who impressed for relegated West Hook and unsurprisingly refused a new contract - but the youth products are pretty ordinary.

Anyway, Elrik Raskine's got a pretty good first XI still - and he's thrown them into decent order. The old white-line fever is gone, though, and the side looks... weirdly fragile. Not for want of trying by Helena Middlesbrough, though, a decent and unremarkable Premiership goalkeeper, or the rock of the defence Devane Miller. But Miller's 35 now, Strauss alongside him isn't amazing, Vlahos... won a couple of caps somehow but his development's stalled a bit, and Chaplain, at 29, is losing her pace. They'll be shielded capably by the midfield, Gareth Flynn is Osarian by blood but a pure Nepharim bruiser in style while Archer, Corsie and Sabitzer are all very technically proficient players. Corsie's even shed a few pounds lately, miracles do happen! Up front, Nketiah and Mavididi are a deadly partnership... and that partnership is crucial, they've never been as good apart from each other. Is there a relationship there? That's up for the tabloids to decide. On the bench things are, uh, not pretty. Guys like Rashkin, Thorn, the Beresfords and Schuster who just aren't that great, Ilsander who might be too young and Matheson who's found himself out of favour and, at the end of the season, contract. If Chatswood stay up... they need a clean bill of health. As it stands, this side's been gutted.

PREDICTION - 22nd.
Manager: Elrik Raskine
Asst. Manager: Shay Hurst
Goalkeepers: 1 - Helena Middlesbrough, 12 - Ulrich Beresford, 25 - Baltasar Gensch
Defenders: 2 - Maeon Vlahos, 3 - Catheline Chaplain, 5 - Darius Rashkin, 6 - Devane Miller (QUE, c), 13 - Marisa Strauss, 18 - Constantine Dahl, 25 - Julian Ilsander, 39 - Kayla Dorran
Midfielders: 4 - Claire Beresford, 7 - Daniel Archer, 8 - Gary Corsie (SCT), 14 - Kenneth Thorn, 17 - Gareth Flynn (OSR), 19 - Desdemona Schuster, 21 - Robyn Sabitzer, 38 - Timo Blankman
Strikers: 9 - Harald Matheson, 15 - Serge Mavidivi (SEM), 16 - Isaac Nketiah (SEM), 23 - Chris Suttner, 31 - Bernhard Duisberg
Out on Loan: 10 - Tzipporah Cohen

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League Finish: 13th
Cup Run: Fourth Round
Stadium: The Keel (35,000)
Nickname: the Harriers, the Reds
Captain: Raphael Somner
Goal Tallies: West (16); Feist (12); Weber (7); Evans, Barthez (6); Mirzayev (4); Culpepper, Weiss, Bekkwaters (2); Malleon, Morton, Somner (1) - 1 o.g. - 61 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-2-3-1) 20 - Sheffield; 16 - Crowe, 2 - Everheart, 6 - Evans, 3 - Bekkwaters; 4 - Mirzayev, 18 - Somner (c); 13 - Feist, 8 - Weber, 11 - Barthez; 10 - West
In: Alisara Crowe (Extreme Hills, 2.5m), Monica Bairstow (Ritter Town, 2m), Markus Sheffield (Depri Sanar, free)
Promoted: Angela Braugher (ST, 18), Harriet Skiff (CM, 19)
Out: Corren Dankworth (Friendship Heights, free), Portia Malleon (Alissar Phoenix, free), Bryce Burnett (Janford City, free), Julian Morton (Langtree United, free), Penelope Caddett (Alfanhatan Devils, free)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 13th, W16, D12, L18, GF61, GA80, 60 pts
64: First Division; 1st, W25, D7, L14, GF68, GA49, 82 pts, Promoted
63: First Division; 5th, W24, D12, L10, GF67, GA48, 84 pts
62: First Division; 6th, W21, D12, L13, GF70, GA45, 75 pts
61: First Division; 14th, W18, D10, L18, GF46, GA45, 64 pts
60: Premiership; 24th, W7, D9, L30, GF32, GA79, 30 pts, Relegated
59: First Division; 4th, W24, D10, L12, GF52, GA31, 82 pts, Promoted
58: First Division; 7th, W24, D11, L11, GF69, GA44, 83 pts
57: Premiership; 23rd, W6, D15, L25, GF39, GA70, 33 pts, Relegated
56: First Division; 4th, W24, D11, L11, GF62, GA44, 83 pts, Promoted

The Harriers did nicely for themselves last season. They came up, they made a nuisance of themselves, their lack of depth wasn't exposed too badly and, importantly, their big purchase in Peta-Gaye West banged in sixteen goals, six assists and just generally linked up nicely with the rest of the team. Aidan Brosque proved tactically versatile and generally made substitutions that mattered. This does not look like the yo-yo side the Harriers were infamous for being! Over the course of the window, five backups leave, while vulnerabilities in defence and goal are patched up - the depth, meanwhile, receives help in the form of the versatile Monica Bairstow who can play basically anywhere around the centre of the park.

One thing's for sure - improvement is expected at the back. Markus Sheffield is a Llamanean international with a reputation for extreme aggression, athleticism and for saving penalties with the help of some serious mind games. His name even sounds Nepharim! He was born for this league, and will do nicely sweeping for the defence. 32-year old Everheart shifted across to centre-half in the offseason, not his first position but one he's capable in, and he's the ball-player to Dimitri Evans' more standard bouncer. On the flanks, U21 international Crowe and Bekkwaters will provide width going forward. The platform in midfield is provided by Mirzayev, who was technically adept but struggled a little with the pace and physicality of the Premiership last season, and 33-year old captain Somner, who was a good leader but also a little physically under-par. Still, their relative weakness is compensated by the fluid attacking unit of Feist, Weber and Barthez (with the versatile Bairstow as the natural backup), three quick technicians who'll give any defence pause for thought, while the Aquilani West proved a ruthless finisher. The depth still looks dangerously weak in defence, but there's some good young talents ready to take chances if provided. So, then... more of the same, please?

PREDICTION - 13th.
Manager: Aidan Brosque
Asst. Manager: Henrick Barden
Goalkeepers: 1 - Cath Hammond, 20 - Markus Sheffield (SLL), 30 - Matt Sallow
Defenders: 2 - Cathmore Everheart (LGL), 3 - Jascha Bekkwaters, 5 - August Culpepper, 6 - Dimitri Evans, 16 - Alisara Crowe, 17 - Stephen Denilson, 19 - Maxine Parr, 25 - Jacqui Brownlowe
Midfielders: 4 - Ekaterina Mirzayev (ISK), 7 - Matilda Weiss, 8 - Auburn Weber, 11 - Sebastyen Barthez, 12 - Elaine Brighton, 13 - Konrad Feist, 18 - Raphael Somner (c), 21 - Monica Bairstow, 23 - Jack Churchfather, 33 - Harriet Skiff
Forwards: 9 - Juergen Evans, 10 - Peta-Gaye West (AQL), 31 - Angela Braugher

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League Finish: 10th
Cup Run: Third Round
Stadium: The Aviary (30,000)
Nickname: the Hawks
Captain: Alex Beckett
Goal Tallies: Antonio (18); Tarashaj, Kuepper (10); Montague (7); Fletchclair, Draxler (6); Hastifer, Bickermann, Neustadt (2); Sixpence, Manning, Jeurissen (1) - 1 o.g. - 67 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-4-2) 1 - Lethbridge (c); 19 - Christener, 5 - Neustadt, 6 - Valkanis, 32 - Jeurissen; 12 - Montague, 4 - Bickermann, 8 - McDonald, 16 - Draxler; 10 - Fletchclair, 11 - Antonio
In: Jenny McDonald (Willox Street Pirates, 6m), Sasha Christener (Sabrefell Moths, 2.75m)
Promoted: Mariam Brookhouse (GK, 18)
Out: Vedran Tarashaj (AFC Treason, 10m), Willow Latchford (Cranequin Wanderers, 1.25m), John Godsflock (Porschena Riders, free)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 10th, W22, D8, L16, GF67, GA50, 74 pts
64: Premiership; 10th, W17, D14, L15, GF55, GA61, 65 pts
63: Premiership; 8th, W21, D10, L15, GF55, GA53, 73 pts
62: Premiership; 16th, W14, D14, L18, GF51, GA67, 56 pts
61: Premiership; 16th, W12, D14, L20, GF56, GA70, 50 pts
60: Premiership; 12th, W18, D10, L18, GF46, GA40, 64 pts
59: First Division; 3rd, W25, D9, L12, GF61, GA33, 84 pts, Promoted
58: Premiership; 23rd, W9, D15, L22, GF38, GA61, 42 pts, Relegated
57: Premiership; 18th, W11, D18, L17, GF42, GA51, 51 pts
56: First Division; 1st, W27, D9, L10, GF61, GA33, 90 pts, Promoted

It was meant to be a quiet off-season for Coret as they consolidated and basked in their new upper-midtable status, but it was never going to be the case - almost immediately, Tarashaj was subject to a 10-million bid from AFC Treason. Off went Tarashaj, and stalwart squad players in Latchford and Godsflock followed him out the door (albeit to less exalted locales). In came a new figure, Jenny McDonald - a midfielder of remarkable talent, but there's just one awkward elephant in the room. Port Christopher's league, while of surprisingly high quality, is notoriously short. The Premiership is notoriously long. Will the Hawks' new marquee have the stamina to keep going? No such doubts over Sasha Christener, of course, a veteran of the league with 116 Nephara caps to her name.

The Hawks, that said, look a strong proposition going into the new season. Anna Cliving prefers 4-4-2, though she's flexible when it makes sense to be, and the core is rock-solid. Cormak 'the Brigadier' 'Spider' 'Tiny' Lethbridge between the posts, the Cosumarite flier having adapted fantastically to this level and taken up the vice-captaincy, with Neustadt and Valkanis impenetrable ahead of him. The fullbacks will be trusted to add a lot of thrust this season more than last, be it the guile of Christener on the right or the blistering pace of the highly-promising 19-year old Jeurissen on the left. Bickermann exists entirely to make room and kick people for Jenny McDonald in the centre of the park. The wingers are fantastic players in their own right, of course, with Draxler an outside bet for Nephara caps and Montague a constant in Chromatik squads - both similar in terms of their pace and willingness to drift inside and cause problems. Up front, Gabriella Antonio is the main outlet, and the flamboyant 24-year old Fletchclair will get his chance to prove his worth with regular starts. Plenty of options too on the bench, just how Cliving likes. She has experienced, defensive fullbacks in captain Beckett and Brenecia international Duffy. She has a dedicated box-to-box midfielder in Manning, a big striker in Kuepper, and a crap goalkeeper in Ellery. All in all? It's a dangerous mix, and sides who felt like comfortable Globe Cup candidates will need to watch over their shoulder.

PREDICTION - 8th.
Manager: Anna Cliving
Asst. Manager: Claire Antioch
Goalkeepers: 1 - Cormak Lethbridge (COS), 20 - Alisander Ellery, 30 - Mariam Brookhouse
Defenders: 2 - Alex Beckett (c), 3 - Gerry Duffy (BRE), 5 - Ulrich Neustadt (PAS), 6 - Eva Valkanis, 17 - Amalie Sulzer, 19 - Sasha Christener, 21 - Liam Scherzer, 32 - Isidra Jeurissen
Midfielders: 4 - Sherry Bickermann, 7 - Jacqui Hastifer, 8 - Jenny McDonald (PCR), 12 - Alyss Montague (CMT), 14 - Justine Manning, 16 - Trifon Draxler, 23 - Robert Cuellar, 33 - Thanasi Holland
Forwards: 9 - Hadrian Kuepper, 10 - Dorian Fletchclair, 11 - Gabriella Antonio (CMT), 21 - Natasha Sixpence, 26 - Alexi Cattlin

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League Finish: Champions (First Division)
Cup Run: Second Round
Stadium: The Bullrush (30,000)
Nickname: the Maulers
Captain: Nadine Mateus
Goal Tallies: Harper (21); Ankergren (15); Heller (11); Mateus (9); Plutarch, Neumann (4); Robertson, Hildebrandt (3); Karoy, Theodorakopolous (2); Hatherton, Allard, Rathbone (1) - 2 o.g. - 79 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-3) 12 - Sparr; 23 - Karoy, 2 - Silverstein, 6 - Rainwall, 3 - Laursen; 11 - Mateus (c), 4 - Vassall, 8 - Nikolaidis; 7 - Đurić, 13 - Harper, 16 - Ankergren
In: Athanasios Nikolaidis (Cypher Town, 3m), Lara Silverstein (Cranequin City, 2.6m), Lukas Sparr (Cypher Town, 1.5m), Ruža Đurić (free agent)
Promoted: Andre Sciberras (RB, 20)
Out: Francesca Quail (Aratha Metz, free), Rainer Hildebrandt (TOPS, free), Bruce Deiler (East Laithland Harriers, free), Logan Theodorakopolous (Riverkey, free)
Retired: Leo Barrackster (RW, 36)

RECENT HISTORY
65: First Division; 1st, W30, D5, L11, GF79, GA34, 95 pts, Promoted
64: First Division; 9th, W19, D11, L16, GF54, GA50, 68 pts
63: First Division; 7th, W21, D10, L15, GF70, GA60, 73 pts
62: First Division; 11th, W18, D9, L19, GF69, GA70, 63 pts
61: First Division; 16th, W17, D7, L22, GF58, GA75, 58 pts
60: First Division; 15th, W17, D9, L20, GF62, GA74, 60 pts
59: First Division; 9th, W20, D12, L14, GF54, GA48, 72 pts
58: First Division; 12th, W17, D11, L18, GF66, GA67, 62 pts
57: Premiership; 24th, W5, D13, L28, GF43, GA92, 28 pts, Relegated
56: Premiership; 19th, W13, D11, L22, GF52, GA82, 50 pts

Largely unexpected, Corvette manage a promotion in emphatic fashion, overhauling the Dragons on the last day to win the title. While they managed promotion largely through their overpowering attack, manager Leo Santander recognised the need to sharpen up at the back - step forward Lukas Sparr and Lara Silverstein, both players with a fair amount of experience at this level and the talent to come back. Further forward, 21-year old Nikolaidis is another who impressed at this level and Đurić, 20, bears high hopes in Pasarga of developing to an international standard. Sciberras is called up after a decent season in the reserves to add to the depth lost as a series of depth options are sold or let go - the most painful of all Rainer Hildebrandt, a colossus during the promotion campaign but at 37 probably not good enough for the Premiership anymore.

The Maulers are a side with traditional values. Specifically, that they attack, hard, in search of victory. This kind of approach tends to need a very good goalkeeper - Lazaridis was alright, sure, but while the official word is that Sparr was brought in to 'compete' for the starting role preseason matches and plain common sense would seem to indicate the acrobatic goalkeeper's won that. Silverstein is the classy, intelligent gem in a very ordinary defence - Karoy, Rainwall and Laursen are just pretty good First Division players, and lack Premiership experience. Things get better going forward - Vassall is the murderer that allows the main playmaker Mateus and the exceptional, diligent young Nikolaidis to shine. Up front? Even better... if Đuric can shine at this level, and it might be worrying that her 23-year old companions have no Premiership experience. But Dani Harper is a mosquito up front, lightning-quick and great at finishing and that's about it - Ankergren is a more elegant presence. The weak point? Depth, in places - the backup striker is chronically mediocre 33-year old Harry Robertson or the teenaged, piebald Patches Rathbone, and the backup defence looks extremely fragile, but in other positions the likes of Plutarch and Heller - who played big parts in the promotion campaign - will stand up and be counted. Of the three promoted sides, it's the champions that look the most likely to go down - even so, they should be safe, as long as they can avoid a string of injuries.

PREDICTION - 18th.
Manager: Leo Santander
Asst. Manager: Dean Hessel
Goalkeepers: 1 - Russ Lazaridis, 12 - Lukas Sparr, 30 - Marcia Folkhard
Defenders: 2 - Lara Silverstein, 3 - Ana Laursen, 6 - Levi Rainwall, 17 - Hedwig Schelin, 18 - Paul Allard, 19 - Max Stelicher, 23 - Attema Karoy, 26 - Andre Sciberras
Midfielders: 4 - Sebastian Vassall, 8 - Athanasios Nikolaidis, 11 - Nadine Mateus (c), 15 - Trish Plutarch, 21 - Jacqueline Sembrant, 35 - Ylissa Hatherton
Forwards: 7 - Ruža Đurić (PAS), 9 - Harry Robertson, 10 - Lisa Heller, 13 - Dani Harper, 16 - Johanna Ankergren, 18 - Francesca Neumann, 32 - Patches Rathbone

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League Finish: 3rd (First Division)
Cup Run: Fourth Round
Stadium: Ebony Lane (48,000)
Nickname: the Wanderers
Captain: Diandra Behan
Goal Tallies: Teixeira (27); Scuffett (12); Bismarck (11); Rook (6); Kearney, Kendall (5); Payne, Jantzer, Conagher (3); Roebuck, Brooklyn, Falkirk (2); Diebeck (1) - 1 o.g. - 83 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-4-2) 1 - Castelen; 2 - Pietersen, 6 - Jantzer, 22 - Kearney, 18 - Salone; 13 - Rayne, 11 - Bismarck, 4 - Behan (c), 17 - Clarke; 10 - Scuffett, 9 - Teixeira
In: Tobias Clarke (Firewood City Stars, 5m), Willow Latchford (Coret Hawks, 1.25m), Sunshine Rayne (Pur, free), Dakota Blaylock (Ayronhrod University, free)
Promoted: Emerance Sanborn (CM, 19)
Out: Steed Conagher (Fort Archer, free), Seth Rook (Mabel Wigglytuffs, free), Dorcas Roebuck (Stilwater City, free), Michael Westerveld (AFC Shale, free)

RECENT HISTORY
65: First Division; 3rd, W25, D14, L7, GF83, GA44, 89 pts, Promoted
64: Premiership; 21st, W15, D9, L22, GF45, GA57, 54 pts, Relegated
63: Premiership; 9th, W21, D6, L19, GF63, GA51, 69 pts
62: Premiership; 12th, W16, D15, L15, GF48, GA46, 63 pts
61: Premiership; 6th, W22, D12, L12, GF62, GA43, 78 pts, Globe Cup
60: Premiership; 17th, W14, D14, L18, GF47, GA66, 56 pts
59: Premiership; 15th, W15, D14, L17, GF50, GA66, 59 pts
58: Premiership; 19th, W14, D7, L25, GF49, GA71, 49 pts
57: First Division; 1st, W27, D12, L7, GF79, GA32, 93 pts, Promoted
56: First Division; 6th, W23, D11, L12, GF70, GA37, 80 pts

Wanderers come straight back up in imperious fashion, and the vision of tactically-astute Levan Kyprianou has shifted the team from the Route One hoofball boys that went down (though they would probably have flattened West Brinemouth had the promotion/relegation playoff been introduced a season earlier) and installed instead a confident, muscular, pacey side that prsses high and forcefully evaporates their opponents. Of course, this means that many of the old guard - marginalised in the promotion run - have been shown the door, with Premiership veterans Rook, Westerveld, Conagher and Roebuck all released. And while they've signed a few new players, the one everyone's kinda staring at is Tobias Clarke. Yes, THAT Tobias Clarke. THE Tobias Clarke.

Granted, Clarke is now 35, so the ten guys around him are going to be pretty important. Former U21 international Luna Castelen, now 27, truly seized her chance last season between the posts, an agile and acrobatic shot-stopper who worked to bulk up and be a tougher prospect in the air than before. Her distribution is fantastic, as well, with big sweeping diagonal balls to the flanks adding to the Wanderers' threat. She has the rock-solid partnership of Jantzer and Kearney ahead of her, and they are proven at this level. On the flanks, Pietersen and Salone are both good, fast fullbacks who contribute well to the attack, but cover their tracks well. Bismarck is a classy technician while captain Behan keeps things calm in the centre of the park. Sunshine Rayne offers traditional Islander pace, flair and improvisation on the right. On the left? That's Clarke's territory - maybe a little further back than he's used to, but Salone will run for him to leave him free to drift. Up front is a mixed bag. Gareth Teixeira tore the First Division apart last year and harbours ambitions of a callup from his Guayabalense grandfather's birthplace, and he has the muscle, pace and finishing to be the natural target for Clarke's crosses. But who to pair him with - the giant but unprolific Scuffett, or the tall, elegant but delicate 21-year old Heron Kendall? The depth in the side is pretty decent - Payne did well for them last season as a regular starter, Diebeck is a capable rotation option to rest Behan's legs while former Brinemouth leftback Cheney Ralston is still going strong at 30. In a very strong cohort, the Wanderers should stay up... but it's going to be a close-run thing.

PREDICTION - 16th.
Manager: Levan Kyprianou
Asst. Manager: Harriet Leijer
Goalkeepers: 1 - Luna Castelen, 20 - Oskar Rourke, 30 - Cedric Pardons
Defenders: 2 - Bernadette Pietersen, 3 - Cheney Ralston, 5 - Matthias Whyteleafe, 6 - Ciprian Jantzer, 18 - Markus Salone, 19 - Willow Latchford, 22 - Gareth Kearney, 31 - Susanna Woodpress
Midfielders: 4 - Diandra Behan (c), 7 - Lowen Falkirk, 8 - Lance Diebeck, 11 - Paul Bismarck, 13 - Sunshine Rayne (USI), 17 - Tobias Clarke (OSR), 23 - Matt Payne, 33 - Emerance Sanborn
Forwards: 9 - Gareth Teixeira, 10 - Connor Scuffett, 14 - Heron Kendall, 16 - Sigrid Brooklyn, 34 - Dakota Blaylock (COS)
Last edited by Nephara on Mon Dec 26, 2016 4:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Nephara » Mon Dec 26, 2016 4:27 pm

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League Finish: 4th
Cup Run: Fourth Round
Stadium: Gardengate (26,000)
Nickname: the Oathmen
Captain: Eden Hereford
Goal Tallies: Farrier, Stavanger (19); Bittner (9); McMillan (7); Leadbetter, Kearney (6); Bryson, Gillard, Trelawney (3); Colfenton (2); Bristoll, Livesey (1) - 3 o.g. - 81 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-4-2) 12 - Woodgate; 2 - Hereford (c), 5 - Herron, 4 - Loredan, 22 - Reisman; 23 - McMillan, 21 - Bittner, 6 - Livesey, 11 - Braham; 10 - Stavanger, 13 - Farrier
In: Mathis Woodgate (Mallox, 12m), Taddeo Loredan (AC Holmenkollen, 6m), Karena Braham (Depri Sanar, free), Valentin Vettriano (AS Marcadia, free)
Out: Arran Kearney (Birdingstone United, 5m), John Bryson (Pro Patria, free), Destiny Merlot (Crisisbless United, free), Byron Caldwick (Diamondqueen, loan)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 4th, W26, D7, L13, GF81, GA61, 85 pts, Champions Cup
64: Premiership; 8th, W18, D14, L14, GF57, GA48, 68 pts
63: Premiership; 14th, W17, D10, L19, GF54, GA64, 61 pts
62: Premiership; 17th, W14, D12, L20, GF51, GA66, 54 pts
61: First Division; 1st, W25, D12, L9, GF55, GA28, 87 pts, Promoted
60: First Division; 10th, W18, D13, L15, GF53, GA47, 67 pts
59: First Division; 14th, W16, D14, L16, GF56, GA56, 62 pts
58: First Division; 9th, W21, D6, L19, GF58, GA55, 69 pts
57: First Division; 12th, W18, D9, L19, GF59, GA61, 63 pts
56: First Division; 16th, W16, D10, L20, GF60, GA72, 58 pts

Well, God knows how they managed it. Ezekiel Statham's cobbled-together mid-table squad ended up coming fourth with a point tally that would've been enough to win the league twice in history, and they may have just unearthed Nephara's next truly great number 9 (though freshly handed the number, uh, 10) in Dragan Stavanger. Statham showed all the mercy and compassion of a Football Manager veteran by dismantling his side. "We want to stay here, after all," he grunted to the press as he released Bryson and Merlot, shopped Kearney out to Ethane and loaned Caldwick to promotion-chasing Diamondqueen. In? Vettriano's the man for the future, sure, the Audioslav's just 16 and already earmarked to at least train with the first team. Braham? Was very strong in the A-League on loan last season, proven at this level and, thanks to politics, free. Loredan? Highly-rated defenders, that's what Statham's all about. And, most startling of all, they somehow found one of the best shot-stoppers in the world in 26-year old Mathis Woodgate. Cost a pretty penny, predicted to be worth every cent.

So they have a side and it's a terrifyingly good side, the intention clearly being to jam their foot hard in the door of the business end of the league while competing strongly for international honours. With defensive reinforcements provided, the Oathmen should be even more invincible at the back - Woodgate needs no introduction, and will rack up points for the side on his own. Loredan is a club legend back in Holmenkollen, and along with the clean Herron there is perhaps the least impolite central defence in the top flight. The fullbacks are the only real clear weak point - Hereford, the captain, a stalwart defender at 32 but offering little going forward, while Reisman is a sturdy young stallion with limited technique. In central midfield, there has been a slight shift in focus - the deeper-lying Livesey giving Bittner, the real star and an essential cog of the team last season, the freedom to maneuvre and make raking diagonal passes that the expert wingers McMillan and Braham, both mostly concerned with attack and letting the men behind them work out the defensive shift, thrive on. They, in turn, provide all the crosses that a genuine beast like Stavanger might want, with deadly Danica Farrier eager to feed on the scraps. On the bench, players like Beresford, Thrush, Gillard and Trelawney did literally nothing wrong last season and will be eager to take their chance to return to the limelight - and watch out for teenagers Vettriano and Bristoll.

PREDICTION - 7th.
Manager: Ezekiel Statham
Asst. Manager: Mavis Oliver
Goalkeepers: 1 - Russ Beresford, 12 - Mathis Woodgate (BRE), 25 - Ange Shackell
Defenders: 2 - Eden Hereford (c), 3 - Diana Thrush, 4 - Taddeo Loredan (COS), 5 - Stefan Herron, 17 - Ellen Penny, 19 - Marko Gillard, 22 - Ash Reisman, 24 - Micaiah Cohen
Midfielders: 6 - Elsa Livesey, 7 - Melissa Colfenton, 8 - Michelle Trelawney, 11 - Karena Braham, 16 - Orchid Basclif, 21 - Karena Bittner, 23 - Conan McMillan (TLI), 33 - Kurtis Bristoll
Forwards: 9 - Bryce Leadbetter, 10 - Dragan Stavanger, 13 - Danica Farrier (BRE), 15 - Frey Sylvine, 32 - Valentin Vettriano (AUD)
Out on Loan: 20 - Byron Caldwick

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League Finish: 9th
Cup Run: Fifth Round
Stadium: Godswatch (63,000)
Nickname: the Heelers
Captain: Isaia Urso
Goal Tallies: Redmayne (16); Jevdjevic-Hadsic (12); Engstroem (11); Urso (8); Tarrant (7); Rashford (6); Sundu (4); Priest, Lohengrin (2); Rafford, Gallardo, Condotta, Breisgau (1) - 2 o.g. - 74 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-1-3-2) 1 - Marciak; 35 - Rafford, 13 - Gandhi, 5 - Larkland, 3 - Lohengrin; 21 - Tedesco; 8 - Urso (c), 11 - Swan, 15 - Jevdjevic-Hadsic; 14 - Gandhi, 10 - Redmayne
In: Allison Swan (1860 Azoth, 12.5m), Lauro Tedesco (Trothwands Evolution, 5m), Ozaria Gandhi (FC Endeavour, undisclosed), Osmosis Gandhi (FC Endeavour, undisclosed)
Promoted: Methuselah Tregajorran (ST, 18), Amelia Warner (LB, 18)
Out: Auburn Tarrant (Pelethas United, 7m), Anders Engstroem (Eletti Valligiani, 5m), Agaete Sabbath (Muirford Athletic, 3.5m), Christine Burrell (Alissar Phoenix, 3m), Catheline Stockinger (Phalanx AF, 2.5m)
Retired: Luxulya St. Cleer (CM, 35)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 9th, W22, D10, L14, GF74, GA58, 76 pts
64: Premiership; 13th, W17, D11, L18, GF54, GA56, 62 pts, Cup Winners
63: Premiership; 6th, W21, D13, L12, GF74, GA51, 76 pts, Globe Cup
62: Premiership; 2nd, W32, D3, L11, GF86, GA37, 99 pts, Champions Cup
61: Premiership; 3rd, W24, D14, L8, GF60, GA37, 86 pts, Champions Cup, Cup Winners
60: Premiership; 5th, W22, D13, L11, GF57, GA41, 79 pts, Globe Cup
59: Premiership; 1st, W31, D10, L5, GF81, GA29, 103 pts, Champions Cup
58: Premiership; 3rd, W25, D9, L12, GF79, GA48, 84 pts, Globe Cup
57: Premiership; 2nd, W27, D11, L8, GF82, GA48, 92 pts, Champions Cup
56: Premiership; 2nd, W27, D13, L6, GF78, GA38, 94 pts, Champions Cup

Portia Thrift, in her first season as a professional manager, watched the squad she inherited sputter to a 9th-placed finish. She decided that this would not do, and promptly stomped on it. Anders Engstroem's departure was unsurprising, but it hurt - the 33-year old had taken on hero status in his six seasons at the club - while Tarrant had also been a key performer, Stockinger... was herself, but was also 33, while Sabbath and Burrell were too far from the first-team and forced out for good money. Oh, and their captain retired - which makes the departure of vice-captain Engstroem that much more painful. Isaia Urso is somewhat surprisingly handed the armband at just 25, the youngest captain in the league, and she'll be joined in midfield by two new faces - countryman Tedesco behind, and Swan, the first Cenian in the Premiership. But the club's long-standing Apox connection plays dividends, as two Gandhi twins (though not Alpha) are brought across, and... well... it turns out old Tolgus Tregajorran moved to Nephara a bit after retirement. And brought his family with him. And that family includes a son earmarked for roughly equal talent, and that son is playing in Nephara youth sides. Warner's not bad either.

Crisisbless have kept on with their recent high-class, short-passing, polished approach - not backing down to any challenge, but just very clean-heeled and classy. Between the posts, as ever, is Pawlo Marciak, once a talented but callow shot-stopper, now a fan favourite and commanding presence. Ahead of him, Osmosis Gandhi and the seasoned, classy Larkland form a composed central defensive unit while young gun fullbacks provide width going forward, Leona Rafford just 19 on the left and full of both talent and needle while on the left it's the classy Lohengrin, both very talented players. Lauro Tedesco, latest in a fine tradition of Osarians in Nephara, anchors a sickeningly talented midfield that sees Urso, Swan and Jevdjevic-Hadsic, an eyewatering array of hard-running creative talents, cause endless troubles going forward. Up front, Ozaria Gandhi looks to match her more famous brother and has a peach of a first touch and a keen finishing blow - Anika Redmayne is slightly more physical, and a proven goalscorer in her own right. The bench is full of quality - Machan, Gallardo, Condotta and Sundu the highlights as they've proven strong players in their own right at this level. Thrift's side is a powerful one, and it's surfacing as the most likely challenger to the Stags this coming season.

PREDICTION - 2nd.
Manager: Portia Thrift
Asst. Manager: Espen Knutsen (BYN)
Goalkeepers: 1 - Pawlo Marciak (BYN), 20 - Karena Hesketh, 30 - Gerhard Hartmuth
Defenders: 2 - Karin Machan, 3 - Sieglinde Lohengrin, 4 - Fabricio Gallardo (OSR), 5 - Rebecca Larkland, 13 - Osmosis Gandhi (APX), 18 - Mahe Beitar, 34 - Amelia Warner, 35 - Leona Rafford
Midfielders: 6 - Bianca Condotta, 7 - Sante Sundu (SEM), 8 - Isaia Urso (OSR, c), 11 - Allison Swan (CEN), 15 - Ror Jevdjevic-Hadsic (FFD), 21 - Lauro Tedesco (OSR), 24 - Irsa Croxteth, 25 - Camilla Priest
Forwards: 9 - Lukas Rashford, 10 - Anika Redmayne, 12 - Klaus Breisgau, 14 - Ozaria Gandhi (APX), 32 - Methuselah Tregajorran

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League Finish: 20th
Cup Run: Fourth Round
Stadium: Steelchurch (32,500)
Nickname: the Quakers
Captain: Ethan Candelario
Goal Tallies: Lynwood (15); Schanzer (11); Arisilde (6); Loxley, Hochmeister (5); Bardsley, Candelario (4); Leitner, Rusmond (2); Markussen, Garrard (1) - 56 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-1-2) 1 - Kolar; 2 - Dukakis, 5 - Markussen, 6 - Carradine, 3 - Garrard; 4 - Arisilde, 16 - Dietrich, 8 - Candelario (c); 7 - Coxswain; 12 - Schanzer, 10 - Lynwood
In: Rutger Kolar (Newrook City, 2m), Adrian Carradine (Brookford Otters, 2m)
Promoted: Soren Faerstein (DM, 18), Diana Lochteth (CM, 18), Sylvia Aviston (RB, 19), Lexi Farrakhan (ST, 21)
Out: Cath Gilchrist (Matekkipper Royals, 2m), Gerhard Wrexham (Santa Jolteona, free), Tanith Sutcliff (Alissar Phoenix, free), Augustine Bardsley (AFC Corvistone, free), Ulrich Finch (Vermillion Wanderers, free)
Retired: Rachael Loxley (DM, 36)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 20th, W12, D8, L26, GF56, GA89, 44 pts
64: First Division; 3rd, W22, D13, L11, GF56, GA35, 79 pts, Promoted
63: Premiership; 23rd, W8, D16, L22, GF57, GA84, 40 pts, Relegated
62: Premiership; 14th, W17, D9, L20, GF50, GA55, 60 pts
61: Premiership; 12th, W17, D14, L15, GF54, GA57, 65 pts
60: Premiership; 11th, W17, D14, L15, GF57, GA53, 65 pts
59: Premiership; 7th, W20, D15, L11, GF68, GA48, 75 pts
58: Premiership; 6th, W24, D3, L19, GF59, GA47, 75 pts
57: Premiership; 14th, W16, D11, L19, GF59, GA59, 59 pts
56: Premiership; 7th, W22, D9, L15, GF71, GA52, 75 pts

A mixed season for the Quakers, though you suspect most fans are quietly okay with 20th. In attack? Job done - the Quakers' striker problems are over as the running of Schanzer and finishing of Lynwood combined to lethal effect. In defence? Tear it up and start over. Rachael Loxley, sad to say, may have just stretched one season too far - she's retired now, and Finch and Gilchrist depart. Also released are veteran forwards Wrexham and Bardsley as Andrea Betancourt tries to desperately freshen things up. But who replaces them? Kolar fell out of favour at Newrook City for unclear reasons but the former Chariots backup is a good, solid goalkeeper, while Adrian Carradine was consistently pretty good for Brookford. And... well, stocky young centre-forward Lexi Farrakhan had been taken for granted as not good enough to break through until she suddenly netted forty-one goals to propel East Laithland to the Second Division title. So, worth a punt, right? She's even taken the number 9 shirt vacated by Bardsley!

So, the final result? Yeah, it looks okay. Betancourt favours a technically glossy, possession-heavy approach playing a lot through the midfield, but a more solid spine should suit them well. Kolar should stiffen their spine, Markussen and Carradine are battle-hardened centre-halves while Dukakis and Garrard are the right women for the job of providing width to the attack. But what of the hole left by Rachael Loxley, club legend? Elsa Dietrich is badly injured and will miss the first six to eight weeks of the season - she's just about good enough, while 21-year old Artur Bierofka (a versatile defender) will likely fill the gap in the interim. A U21 international, Bierofka hasn't quite hit the heights expected of him back when Goodfeather had to fend off bids from Quebecois clubs, with a lack of confidence blamed for it. Arisilde and Candelario, both internationals, are their strongest players - Arisilde figuratively, Candelario literally - while the slow, injury-prone but technically adept Coxswain, once of Brinemouth, will be thrown further forward than normal. The strikers, thankfully, are solid - Schanzer a brawler, 30-year old Lynwood a ruthless finisher very used to relegation scraps. The Quakers aren't strong in depth, but have a core of around sixteen versatile players who they're hoping will be enough to cover a starting XI at any given time. Still... it's hanging on a knife-edge for the Quakers.

PREDICTION - 21st.
Manager: Andrea Betancourt
Asst. Manager: Seb Seward
Goalkeepers: 1 - Rutger Kolar, 23 - Raven Forster, 30 - Anya Beraht
Defenders: 2 - Pandora Dukakis, 3 - Heather Garrard, 5 - Johan Markussen (SEM), 6 - Adrian Carradine, 14 - Bryony Johansen, 18 - Artur Bierofka, 22 - Eloise Davison, 34 - Sylvia Aviston
Midfielders: 4 - Xavi Arisilde (ESH), 7 - Elaine Coxswain, 8 - Ethan Candelario (SLL, c), 13 - Koen Rademacher, 16 - Elsa Dietrich, 20 - Marisa Leitner, 36 - Soren Faerstein, 39 - Diana Lochteth
Forwards: 9 - Lexi Farrakhan, 10 - Maxine Lynwood, 12 - Gerhard Schanzer, 21 - Amelia Rusmond, 35 - Johan Macruse

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League Finish: 21st
Cup Run: Third Round
Stadium: Ludd’s Hammer (59,000)
Nickname: the Smiths
Captain: Grubiša Jelić
Goal Tallies: Corvell (13); Devante (10); Rosmalen (8); Katsamatis, Buchan (5); Whitesmith (3); Longstocking, Kisel (2); Sutton, Mirzian (1) - 1 o.g. - 51 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-4-2) 1 - Jelić; 2 - Sable, 4 - Axelsson, 19 - Napthine, 6 - Demetriou; 7 - Katsamatis, 10 - Rosmalen, 15 - Kisel, 11 - Whitesmith; 9 - Devante, 22 - Corvell
In: Meredith Napthine (Ritter Town, 2.25m), Corinne Murdock (Vermillion Wanderers, 1.8m), Abram Axelsson (Eikborg Club, free)
Promoted: Rusalka Klein (CM, 18)
Out: Patrick Ježek (Alfanhatan Devils, 1.5m), Jess Teagan (Cypher Town, 1.5m), Lauren Sutton (AFC Corvistone, free), Jill Austen (AFC Corvistone, free)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 21st, W9, D16, L21, GF51, GA76, 43 pts
64: Premiership; 16th, W16, D11, L19, GF49, GA52, 59 pts
63: Premiership; 12th, W19, D10, L17, GF48, GA39, 67 pts
62: Premiership; 9th, W18, D14, L14, GF50, GA42, 68 pts
61: Premiership; 9th, W21, D11, L14, GF49, GA38, 74 pts
60: Premiership; 10th, W17, D14, L15, GF42, GA36, 65 pts
59: Premiership; 12th, W16, D15, L15, GF53, GA45, 63 pts
58: Premiership; 10th, W19, D12, L15, GF58, GA44, 69 pts
57: Premiership; 6th, W23, D9, L14, GF60, GA41, 78 pts
56: Premiership; 9th, W17, D19, L10, GF48, GA40, 70 pts

Providence Mitford keeps her job by a thread as the Smiths - yet to face relegation in their history - win the first promotion/relegation playoff. Some would say that the relegation would do the sliding side good. What's weird is that for once they weren't too bad in front of goal, with Devante and the rough Corvell striking up a decent understanding, but the defence fell to bits as key centre-half partnership Sutton and Austen fell out with Mitford. Well, they were released, and Ježek and Teagan follow them out the door. And they've brought in... er... well, Axelsson is a good player, though at 33 hardly solves the pace issue. He does have a moustache, though. Napthine does not have a moustache, but having come from Iron United (and the Nephara U21s) to Ritter Town and established herself in the second tier, the 23-year old looks to make the next step up. Murdock is a quick rotation winger comfortable on either flank, a little technically raw.

So, Mitford's opened the side up a bit, which could be a mistake. Still, not to worry - not with Jelic between the posts, the indomitable 35-year old Pasarga international with more Premiership appearances than any other player. Centre-halves Axelsson and Napthine are good players at this level, in theory, but Sable and Demetriou are both coming off poor seasons. Demetriou's better than he showed. Sable might not be. In the centre of the pitch, Kisel is a good holding midfielder who can't pass for beans while Niko Rosmalen is definitely the side's best player, a natural playmaker who just finds his way everywhere, the right place at the right time, with the right pass. On the wings, Katsamatis and Whitesmith are straightforward hard runners. The flanks are, in general, a weakness for the Smiths. Up front, things are alright - Devante's got the nous, for sure, but is he a proven finisher? Dejan Corvell is very fast, has a nose for goal but is worryingly profligate when out of form. They cannot afford a dry run for him. Honestly? They look really bad. They're going to be relegated.

PREDICTION - 23rd.
Manager: Providence Mitford
Asst. Manager: Joachim Lovren
Goalkeepers: 1 - Grubiša Jelić (PAS, c), 12 - Darren Koufax, 25 - Loris Aldous
Defenders: 2 - Harald Sable, 3 - Martinho (NSI), 4 - Abram Axelsson (COS), 5 - Logan More, 6 - Kostas Demetriou, 17 - Basmath Clinton, 19 - Meredith Napthine, 31 - Ellen Mifsud
Midfielders: 7 - Artemis Katsamatis, 8 - Sophia Moloney, 10 - Niko Rosmalen, 11 - Holly Whitesmith, 15 - Catrine Kisel, 20 - Odette Longstocking, 23 - Corinne Murdock, 35 - Rusalka Klein
Forwards: 9 - Solomon Devante, 14 - Geoff Buchan, 22 - Dejan Corvell, 24 - Hamlet Jylland, 38 - Ephraim Mirzian

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League Finish: 19th
Cup Run: Semifinals
Stadium: Griffindon (36,000)
Nickname: the Rovers
Captain: Alex Chapin
Goal Tallies: Curren (14); Sternberg (13); Naeher (9); Senturk (7); Chapin, Seeklander (4); Kolitsidakis, Luitgard, Saravakos (2); Lineker (1) - 58 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-1-3-2) 1 - Hawthorn; 3 - Halfpike, 2 - Lineker, 6 - Jurist, 18 - Saravakos; 4 - Chapin (c), 21 - Woodbine, 13 - Kolitsidakis; 8 - Senturk; 7 - Murdoch, 10 - Curren
In: Klaus Murdoch (Sabrefell Athletic, 2.5m), Kurtis Woodbine (Armstrong, 2m)
Promoted: Bella Scarratt (LB, 19), Adele Rosborough (CM, 18)
Out: Raquel Naeher (Cartagena Desert Foxes, 4m), Kristupijas Dobrovolskas (Unixas Surxvit, 1.75m), Birgit Sternberg (Aurora Sylveons, 1m), Galen Wickham (Sheridan, free)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 19th, W11, D13, L22, GF58, GA79, 46 pts
64: Premiership; 20th, W14, D12, L20, GF53, GA60, 54 pts
63: Premiership; 16th, W16, D7, L23, GF52, GA70, 55 pts
62: Premiership; 18th, W13, D11, L22, GF49, GA67, 50 pts
61: Premiership; 11th, W19, D12, L15, GF60, GA53, 69 pts
60: Premiership; 13th, W17, D12, L17, GF51, GA49, 63 pts
59: Premiership; 16th, W13, D12, L21, GF40, GA48, 51 pts
58: Premiership; 18th, W12, D15, L19, GF45, GA59, 51 pts
57: Premiership; 8th, W19, D18, L9, GF63, GA49, 75 pts
56: Premiership; 18th, W14, D11, L21, GF44, GA60, 53 pts

Ominous for the Rovers. Their key players age - their depth frays, and their best player by a mile, Nephara's possible next left winger Raquel Naeher... went to Osarius, because of course the Rovers can't have nice things. But veterans Sternberg and Dobrovolskas will also be missed, while the blue-collar Galen Wickham's release met with a mixed reaction from fans. And their signings are mixed - Murdoch is a good and versatile forward, but he's just not a goalscorer. Woodbine might be the more decisive signing, something of a journeyman in recent times but a properly violent manhacker of a holding midfielder.

Catheline Harper is far more motivator than strategist, but she ensures her team can at least play decent football and look fairly solid, reverting to a diamond midfield to bring the best out of her star. Between the posts, Malta Hawthorn (formerly of the Moths) is an entirely solid, capable shot-stopper, doesn't make mistakes but is rarely flashy, either. Lineker and Jurist, both U21 internationals, are a typical steel-and-silk partnership, and both are very much up to this standard. On the wings, Halfpike's versatility has him favoured at the troublesome rightback position, but there's no doubting the quality of young Saravakos down the left. Woodbine's propensity for homicide allows him to anchor the captain Chapin and the diligent, driven Kolitsidakis, a homegrown 25-year old midfielder who has taken his time to get consistent starts but looks up to the money. In theory, deploying Senturk - a wonderful attacking player in form, a liability out of it, but being a former Cosumar international counts for a lot - in the hole allows the 31-year old to do many passes and shots and minimal running. Up front, Murdoch is expected to do the running and bruising for Lucy Curren, a ruthless instinctive finisher without many other strings to her bow. On the bench, veteran defender Vidurvoerdr can add solidity while there's plenty of depth as far as the forwards go with target man Seeklander and firebrand sprinter Luitgard offering different options up front, but there's a lot of mediocre dross like Chaulker and Bielert as well. All in all - this will be a difficult season for the Rovers, and they're relying on a clean injury bill and Harper's inspirational powers to keep them from relegation. Still - for once, they're at least in better shape than their neighbours!

PREDICTION - 20th.
Manager: Catheline Harper
Asst. Manager: Matthew Rickard
Goalkeepers: 1 - Malta Hawthorn, 20 - Iona Britton, 25 - Bryce Henderson
Defenders: 2 - Conan Lineker, 3 - Dorian Halfpike, 5 - Sven Erik Vidurvoerdr (AUD), 6 - Catheline Jurist, 17 - Colin Chaulker, 18 - Alexandra Saravakos, 19 - Amber Steelshrift, 34 - Bella Scarratt
Midfielders: 4 - Alex Chapin (NOV, c), 8 - Aziz Senturk (COS), 13 - Spyridon Kolitsidakis, 15 - Jasmine Colindon, 16 - Carina Bielert, 21 - Kurtis Woodbine, 23 - Florian Schneider, 32 - Adele Rosborough
Forwards: 7 - Klaus Murdoch, 9 - Rouwen Seeklander, 10 - Lucy Curren (SCT), 14 - Konstanze Luitgard, 22 - Allen Slayback

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League Finish: 17th
Cup Run: Runners-up
Stadium: Anchorwright Arena (30,000)
Nickname: the Rooks
Captain: Othello Ideye
Goal Tallies: Stokes (12); Jacobsen (10); Sanna (7); Fenwick (5); Connolly, Mendehlson (3); Ideye, Roe, Clijsters, Hammond (1) - 44 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-1-2) 1 - Summersteen; 18 - Luque, 5 - Rivello, 6 - Zagorec, 3 - FIscher; 4 - Fenwick, 16 - Ideye (c), 11 - Plibersek; 7 - Sanna; 9 - Jacobsen, 15 - Stokes
In: Danira Plibersek (Diamondqueen, 2.5m)
Promoted: Alessa Marconi (AM, 18), Magda Kattner (GK, 19), Maladict Farrell (ST, 19)
Out: Rutger Kolar (Goodfeather FC, 2m), Arjen Clijsters (Castle United, free), Liberty Hammond (Ayeville Pikachus, free), Caspar Roe (AFC Corvistone, free)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 17th, W14, D11, L21, GF44, GA60, 53 pts
64: Premiership; 15th, W14, D17, L15, GF56, GA47, 59 pts
63: Premiership; 17th, W13, D14, L19, GF49, GA74, 53 pts
62: First Division; 2nd, W27, D12, L7, GF68, GA41, 93 pts, Promoted
61: Premiership; 21st, W12, D5, L29, GF49, GA83, 41 pts, Relegated
60: First Division; 3rd, W24, D13, L9, GF63, GA35, 85 pts, Promoted
59: First Division; 10th, W17, D16, L13, GF58, GA42, 67 pts
58: Premiership; 22nd, W11, D12, L23, GF50, GA73, 45 pts, Relegated
57: Premiership; 21st, W10, D12, L24, GF43, GA77, 42 pts, CEdC
56: First Division; 2nd, W25, D11, L10, GF65, GA50, 86 pts, Promoted

Newrook were alright last season, never seemed like true relegation candidates, but a stuttering end to the season saw them drift a few places downwards and, worryingly, end with less than a goal a game to their names - fifth-least in the league. They failed to find a striker able to fit their budget in the window - Lynch from the A-League was outside of their price range and after he left for Valanora they'd missed out on their second target, Jaspenner. But they managed to further bolster their midfield with the acquisition of Danira Plibersek. Four veterans depart, in all - they sell Rutger Kolar again, a questionable move but Keenan was apparently attracted to Summersteen's tenuous virtues of 'distribution' over Kolar's solidity and he was unhappy playing second fiddle, while Clijsters, Hammond and the cult hero Roe who everyone knew was crap but he just ran so much... well, they'll be missed. Farrell and the second-generation Yttribian immigrant Marconi are two to keep an eye on going forward.

Keenan likes those old-school diamond midfields, and has stocked it with technically proficient players - it's become gradually younger, as well. Between the posts, Summersteen is an occasionally suspect shot-stopper but Keenan is technically right to call her one of the better goalkeepers in the league with her feet. Rivello is a proper junkyard dog in the centre of defence, Zagorec more often taking the high road and with a rare ability to pass her way out of trouble. She often goes forward now and allows for heroic 33-year old captain Othello Ideye to cover - Ideye is a colossus who crushes foes, with no technical ability to speak of but a way of scoring powerful headers. On the flanks, Luque and Fischer are unremarkably pretty decent. Ahead of Ideye there's Plibersek, a talented player with a touch like a feather, while seasoned midfielder Fenwick can call on a wealth of experience to just sort of make the difference, an all-rounder good at everything. In the hole, Sanna struggled a little with the league's physicality last season but he's still, when on song, easily the team's star playmaker, and he'll hope for better results from his front-men - Jacobsen too often a blunt instrument last season, Stokes often lacking end product. There's some decent depth, though,

PREDICTION - 19th.
Manager: Catheline Keenan
Asst. Manager: Esther Mallory
Goalkeepers: 1 - Lisa Summersteen, 20 - Thea Henson, 30 - Magda Kattner
Defenders: 3 - Petra Fischer, 5 - Robert Rivello (SAN), 6 - Perica Zagorec (PAS), 17 - Luna Traugott, 18 - Monroe Luque (NSI), 19 - Johan Haukmann, 31 - Glenn Baumann, 38 - Conrad Trelliston
Midfielders: 4 - Rook Fenwick, 7 - Bonifacio Sanna (OSR), 8 - Reinhard Mendehlson, 11 - Danira Plibersek, 16 - Othello Ideye, 23 - Gareth Brewer, 25 - Rafaela Fenchel, 37 - Alessa Marconi
Forwards: 9 - Stefan Jacobsen (SEM), 13 - June Connolly, 15 - Alysia Stokes, 22 - Marcia Haskell, 36 - Maladict Farrell

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League Finish: 12th
Cup Run: Third Round
Stadium: The Bluegrass (48,000)
Nickname: the Spiders
Captain: Rook Kennedy
Goal Tallies: Rhodes (14); Rui Mokanga (12); Rudden, Stenet (9); Brickwalk (5); Tsikitsiris, Keogh (4); Finlay, Kistler (3); Jameson (2); Kennedy, Wintergren (1) - 1 o.g. - 68 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-3) 1 - Corren (c); 2 - Guiliani, 5 - Duguid, 17 - Serjeant, 3 - Riordan; 4 - Finlay, 19 - Parable, 8 - Rhodes; 7 - Stenet, 10 - Rui Mokanga, 21 - Tsikitsiris
In: Medea Tsicaderis (Project +90, free)
Promoted: Marcia Lapwing (CM, 18), Gabriel Traustram (CB, 19)
Out: Chloe Rudden (Sabrefell Athletic, 6m), Malachi Hawkshaw (Primaverry Sotaeri, 2m), Gunnar Brickwalk (AC Holmenkollen, 2m)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 12th, W18, D7, L21, GF68, GA74, 61 pts
64: Premiership; 5th, W20, D14, L12, GF68, GA50, 74 pts, Globe Cup
63: Premiership; 5th, W21, D14, L11, GF66, GA43, 77 pts, Globe Cup
62: Premiership; 4th, W25, D13, L8, GF68, GA41, 88 pts, Champions Cup
61: Premiership; 10th, W19, D12, L15, GF65, GA43, 69 pts
60: Premiership; 4th, W22, D16, L8, GF70, GA51, 82 pts, Champions Cup
59: Premiership; 4th, W25, D9, L12, GF73, GA49, 84 pts, Globe Cup
58: Premiership; 13th, W19, D6, L21, GF51, GA63, 63 pts
57: Premiership; 10th, W19, D12, L15, GF53, GA52, 69 pts
56: Premiership; 11th, W20, D9, L17, GF58, GA59, 69 pts

The Spiders have been thoroughly gutted in the offseason. If it wasn't enough to lose arguably their best player in Chloe Rudden, new uncertainties were crafted in leftback and midfield. Oh, and in the hot seat, too, as Escher Speare resigned her post as the side shrugged to 12th. She's now Nephara's U21 manager, in a full-time capacity. In comes Lara Finch, formerly of Mainstream Fist and then as a long-term assistant of Rachel Weixelbraun's at the Moths. But money's hard to come by - not only was Rudden sold, but starters in Hawkshaw and Brickwalk, too. Apart from a couple decent academy prospects, all she could draft in was a Project +90 leftback to compete.

Still, Finch's instincts are to attack, attack and attack again, and she has a few good tools for that. Steed Corren's another +90 man, one of the first batch of Nepharim to enter and come through the system, and the perpetual fringe international is very good with his feet, very quick to sweep and just sort of generally competent and modern. Duguid is a proven quality in the heart of defence but 21-year old Serjeant is something of a surprise. On the flanks, too, Guiliani is a very capable, driven international while Riordan's an unproven and raw 22-year old, son of Kieron or not. The weirdest part of the whole damn squad is the fact that there are six guys comfortable playing in holding midfield. Duguid's busy in defence and Finlay's pushed a bit further up, which is understandable, but Vanderlei and Wintergren are available... and yet Finch has opted for Swiss army man Julian Parable, the kind of athletic mediocrity you save on your bench to fill holes where they appear. Well, whatever - Parable's got Finlay and Rhodes, two very good players, ahead of him, Rhodes in particular being the side's designated playmaker in this role. But things look promising up front - versatile forward Tsikitsiris drifting on the left, direct, incisive Stenet the more orthodox option on the right and big Rui Mokanga, slowing at 32 but still potent, up front. It's going to be a transitional season for the Spiders, and it might be a really painful one. But at the end of the day, they'll be alright.

PREDICTION - 14th.
Manager: Lara Finch
Asst. Manager: Victor Dunham
Goalkeepers: 1 - Steed Corren, 12 - Gerhard Sinstadt, 30 - Ophelia Rattin
Defenders: 2 - Alessandra Guiliani (OSR), 3 - Karsten Riordan, 5 - Brandon Duguid (BRE), 6 - Rook Kennedy (c), 17 - Christian Serjeant, 18 - Medea Tsicaderis, 32 - Gabriel Traustram, 38 - Harald Reuser
Midfielders: 4 - Ross Finlay (TLI), 8 - Louis Rhodes (NGD), 13 - Rasunda Vanderlei, 15 - Luke Wintergren, 19 - Julian Parable, 35 - Marcia Lapwing
Forwards: 7 - Prisca Stenet, 9 - Damian Keogh, 10 - Rui Mokanga (BNG), 11 - Lavender Jameson, 14 - Rosary Kistler, 21 - Dimitra Tsikitsiris, 22 - Patricia Etheridge

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League Finish: 14th
Cup Run: Fourth Round
Stadium: Knightsgrave (43,000)
Nickname: the Saints
Captain: Matt Sebastian
Goal Tallies: Telfair (14); Rouseff (11); Hexmark, Rademacher (8); Frei (7); Monti, Shawcroft (4); Rowan (3); Beckett (2); Alexandros, Sorrenson, Mastiff (1) - 64 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-3) 1 - Klavier; 2 - Alexandros, 5 - Brun (c), 6 - Beckett, 19 - Mixe; 13 - Frei, 8 - Womack, 11 - Rademacher; 22 - Berisha, 9 - Telfair, 7 - Rouseff
In: Olaf Womack (Twentytwo Cacti, 2m), Leonhard Mixe (AFC Treason, 1.75m), Arda Yilmaz (Altintop Training Centre, 100k), Quinn McEnithly (Handon United, free)
Promoted: Claudia Solwood (RB, 20)
Out: Marcelino Asteinza (Porto Velho, 1m), Simon Ardley (North Sabrefell, free), Michael Arrowsmith (Martella Jazz, free)
Retired: Raúl Monti (ST, 35), Matt Sebastian (CM, 35)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 14th, W16, D10, L20, GF64, GA75, 58 pts
64: Premiership; 9th, W19, D10, L17, GF77, GA67, 67 pts
63: First Division; 1st, W31, D8, L7, GF100, GA40, 101 pts, Promoted
62: Premiership; 23rd, W8, D14, L24, GF43, GA74, 38 pts, Relegated
61: Premiership; 17th, W13, D9, L24, GF48, GA72, 48 pts
60: Premiership; 18th, W14, D13, L19, GF64, GA68, 55 pts
59: Premiership; 13th, W16, D13, L17, GF46, GA56, 61 pts, Cup Winners
58: Premiership; 14th, W16, D11, L19, GF54, GA51, 59 pts
57: Premiership; 19th, W11, D15, L20, GF49, GA66, 48 pts
56: Premiership; 13th, W17, D13, L16, GF70, GA65, 64 pts

Interesting season for the Saints, who under seasoned manager Spike Turnbull eschewed any real defensive structure to just pummel teams - and it worked. Interesting window, too, as the clu'bs been able to rebuild for an eventual Globe Cup charge. The marquee men are Olaf Womack - a 31-year old Cosumar international and veteran of three World Cup campaigns - and Leonhard Mixe, a Farfadillis mainstay and key part of their title campaign last time around. But while Yilmaz is a promising unknown, 22-year old Schottia youth international Quinn McEthinly is something of a shot in the dark - unable to force her way into Handon United's first team, Turnbull sees her as the long-term replacement for Telfair. Out the door - retiring Yttribia international Monti and one-club man Sebastian, the departure of Audioslavian journeyman Asteinza, the release of unconvincing backup Ardley and, heartwarmingly, Michael Arrowsmith joining his elder sister, Tash, at Martella. Strangely, Mixe was just one of the bevy of leftbacks Parrhesia bid for, as they lost out on Catheline Stockinger, Kurtis Rakeruth and Raquel Woods. Mixe might be better than all of them regardless, if he can continue to fend off the relentless march of time.

Anyway, the Saints look good yet again, and the upgrades have shored them up nicely. Klavier remains a great shot-stopper flappy in the air in slightly shaky form, Brun and Beckett have great chemistry and a bloody-minded disbelief in the concept that they might be beaten in the air to compensate - though they are quite slow, as was generally exposed time and again last season. Alexandros is a great fullback, not as fast as you might think but clever and technically gifted - it really shines through that she was originally a midfielder and can still play there now, while Mixe is still one to watch at 33. The back line will be very grateful to have the assistance of Womack, who has probably murdered before and is the early favourite to pick up the most cards in the league. He supports two quick-witted and -footed technicians, both very capable at this level in Frei and Rademacher, and Ursula Rowan's about as good on the bench as well. Midfield is the strong point, but you can't sniff at the forwards, either. Berisha is favoured down the right in preseason, all pace and muscle, decision-making not quite caught up yet, while Rouseff is an incisive, gritty close control specialist on the left - both can hit in the crosses when necessary and that's when Telfair, whose metamorphosis from Haelighet reject with a bad attitude to frustrated North Laithland backup to the Saints' junkyard dog has been marvellous to watch, can really thrive. As for backups, there are a number of excellent youth options. Rowan and McEthinly have been mentioned, but Avery's very capable as well - but when it comes to an impact, watch out for 29-year old Hexmark, whose form has flickered in and out after a breakthrough initial season. The Semar forward is desperate to force his way back into the side after failing to agree a deal with any foreign sides in the window. All in all? Looking good, Saints.

PREDICTION - 12th.
Manager: Spike Turnbull
Asst. Manager: Reuben Price
Goalkeeper: 1 - Aphrodite Klavier, 12 - Jakob Carter, 30 - Arda Yilmaz (GAD)
Defenders: 2 - Hellenica Alexandros, 3 - Tasha Avery, 5 - Alastair Brun (APX, c), 6 - Constantine Beckett, 17 - Dimitra Altman, 19 - Leonhard Mixe (FFD), 21 - Priscilla Boyden, 23 - Lazlo Kearney, 28 - Claudia Solwood
Midfielders: 4 - Cheney Gestede, 8 - Olaf Womack (COS), 11 - Swabia Rademacher, 13 - Christian Frei, 21 - Ursula Rowan, 33 - Saturn Mastiff
Forwards: 7 - Sylvia Rouseff, 9 - Atherton Telfair (COS), 10 - Quinn McEthinly (SCT), 13 - Sasha Shawcroft, 18 - Valentin Hexmark (SEM), 20 - Dietrich Sorrenson, 22 - Swanhilda Berisha
Last edited by Nephara on Mon Dec 26, 2016 7:22 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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League Finish: 3rd
Cup Run: Third Round
Stadium: The Barbarossa (72,000)
Nickname: the Reds
Captain: Levin Castellan
Goal Tallies: Lucassen (18); Castellan, Mueller (11); Oehman (9); Ferryman (8); Wardenier (7); Lovelock (4); Murdoch, Darke (2); Moravec, Breen, Sarracena (1) - 3 o.g. - 77 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-3) 1 - Pressinger; 17 - Lauren, 13 - Gerhardt, 6 - Moravec, 3 - Lovelock; 18 - Castellan (c), 4 - Sarracena, 8 - Ferryman; 21 - Bereveskos, 10 - Lucassen, 13 - Rudden
In: Chloe Rudden (North Laithland, 6m), Andrea Bereveskos (Cypher Town, 3.5m), Lena Iserlohn (returned from loan)
Promoted: Alistair Swepstone (GK, 18), Gareth Krane (CB, 19)
Out: Orpheus Clement (Ayeville Pikachus, 3m), Klaus Murdoch (Maximum Rovers, 2.5m), Kurtis Rakeruth (Mabel Wigglytuffs, 2m), Gareth Corvine (AFC Serpentine, loan)
Retired: Matt Breen (CB, 35)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 3rd, W25, D11, L10, GF77, GA42, 86 pts, Champions Cup
64: Premiership; 12th, W16, D15, L15, GF61, GA62, 63 pts
63: Premiership; 4th, W22, D14, L10, GF86, GA53, 80 pts, Champions Cup
62: Premiership; 8th, W19, D12, L15, GF69, GA50, 69 pts
61: Premiership; 8th, W21, D11, L14, GF66, GA50, 74 pts
60: Premiership; 7th, W18, D16, L12, GF63, GA58, 70 pts, Globe Cup
59: Premiership; 6th, W20, D15, L11, GF78, GA56, 75 pts, Champions Cup
58: Premiership; 1st, W29, D10, L7, GF93, GA41, 97 pts, Champions Cup
57: Premiership; 4th, W25, D10, L11, GF76, GA46, 85 pts, Globe Cup
56: Premiership; 3rd, W26, D10, L10, GF65, GA39, 88 pts, Globe Cup

It might have been a quiet transfer window in some respects, but the signings made by Brunet showed genuine intent to get a title challenge rolling. They were just five points and five goal difference out from Treason last time around, and while admittedly they didn't spend a fortune on three established internationals like Treason did, they still got their money's worth in two wingers who can both be devastating on their day. A few squad players are shipped out - dissatisfied backup goalkeeper Clement, brawny forward Murdoch and aging World Cup winner Rakeruth, while just as Iserlohn returns from a productive loan spell helping Extreme Hills to 6th, Corvine is shipped off to Serpentine to boost their winger stocks. But spare a thought for Matt Breen, a genuine one-club man and something of a folklore hero for the sheer amount that the distinctly average, limited centre-half would raise his game for hard-hitting UICA ties, back before the Premiership was a truly big player in the world game.

Thought spared? Right. Then let's get down to it. This is an impressive side, no two ways about it, playing slick football going forward and, crucially, solid at the back - in fact in a season with no real outstanding defensive units, it was Lind Pressinger, the 30-year old fringe international, who lead his side to concede the fewest goals in the league. The flying stopper was helped, of course, by cinderblock Moravec and one of the lowkey bargains of the season in the classy Gerhardt, but also through the work of diligent 21-year old rightback Robyn Lauren, who has a great future ahead of her. Less thanks for that record is owed to Ophelia Lovelock, but the Brenecian is a gifted talent going forward, and so her relative physical frailty and occasional mental lapses are easily forgiven. Yupanqui Sarracena, still going strong after all these years thanks to that Islander magic (figurative? literal? who knows?) is the perfect assertive anchor for a side like this, a pre-emptive striker with a real love for the ball and exploiting defensive gaps from distance. Levin Castellan ahead of him is a brutish mauler who excels at late runs into the box - it's the more technically-adept Ferryman who holds the keys to the league's defences, and it's a real statement to the strength of the Cormorants' midfield at the moment that neither's been capped. Up front, Bereveskos is 21 and has her best years in front of her, and she can drift out of games - the miniscule Rudden, 27, has long had that broken out of her and is a ruthlessly consistent pest down the left-hand side. Linden Lucassen up front? He scores goals. It's uncomplicated. But his place is under threat from the more mobile, roving presence of the restless Wardenier, while seasoned operators like Oehman, Darke, Layland and Rough, who have all enjoyed plenty of success starting at Premiership level, underline the depth that Athletic, for the first time in a while, truly enjoys. All in all? Looking good, lads.

PREDICTION - 3rd.
Manager: Daniel Brunet
Asst. Manager: Cheney Rutherford
Goalkeepers: 1 - Lind Pressinger, 12 - Daniel Fitzmarten, 30 - Alistair Swepstone
Defenders: 2 - Kurtis Rough, 3 - Ophelia Lovelock (BRE), 5 - Bronwyn Gerhardt, 6 - Zdenek Moravec (PAS), 17 - Robyn Lauren, 20 - Jasper Sorrenson, 22 - Lena Iserlohn, 31 - Gareth Krane
Midfielders: 4 - Yunpaqui Sarracena (NSI), 8 - Alexa Ferryman, 18 - Levin Castellan (c), 19 - Olenna Darke, 23 - Elsa Layland, 34 - Valerie Webber
Forwards: 7 - Abigail Mueller, 9 - Avila Wardenier, 10 - Linden Lucassen (COS), 11 - Ole Oehman (COS), 13 - Chloe Rudden (SCT), 16 - Morten Crestwell, 21 - Andrea Bereveskos
Out on Loan: 36 - Gareth Corvine

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League Finish: 7th
Cup Run: Champions
Stadium: Gargoyle’s Court (53,000)
Nickname: the Moths
Captain: Kirsten Cliving
Goal Tallies: Johnson (28); Meier (16); Belgrave (13); Hargreaves (9); Cliving, Haldenstadt (6); Tambor (5); Christener (3); Griffiths, dos Santos (2); Crowley, Etzebeth (1) - 92 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-4-2) 1 - Caravella; 16 - Tawney, 5 - Weaver, 19 - Weiss, 3 - Griffiths; 13 - Belgrave, 18 - Cliving (c), 8 - Etzebeth, 11 - Meier; 22 - Hargreaves, 10 - Johnson
In: Sheila Kilgallon (Cranequin City, free)
Promoted: Nevaeh Cathar (ST, 18), Rona Morgantrau (RB, 19)
Out: Carsten Thunder (Vermillion Rage, 4m), Sasha Christener (Coret Hawks, 2.75m), Juninho dos Santos (Sunrice Saint-Raptors, 1m)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 7th, W23, D11, L12, GF92, GA60, 80 pts, Globe Cup, Cup Winners
64: Premiership; 7th, W19, D13, L14, GF69, GA66, 70 pts, Globe Cup
63: Premiership; 3rd, W26, D5, L15, GF85, GA60, 83 pts, Champions Cup
62: Premiership; 6th, W23, D7, L16, GF66, GA56, 76 pts, Globe Cup
61: Premiership; 2nd, W26, D14, L6, GF81, GA34, 92 pts, Champions Cup
60: Premiership; 1st, W30, D5, L11, GF78, GA37, 95 pts, Champions Cup
59: Premiership; 3rd, W26, D7, L13 ,GF90, GA54, 85 pts, Champions Cup
58: Premiership; 8th, W21, D10, L15, GF62, GA57, 73 pts, Cup Winners
57: Premiership; 12th, W18, D13, L15, GF62, GA49, 67 pts
56: Premiership; 10th, W20, D9, L17, GF67, GA60, 69 pts

The Weixelbraun era ends in victory - in truth, it was the right time for them to leave. They'd done great work steadying the ship, refocusing the club on its roots and, of course, winning a Premiership title. But they're gone now and, well, he's back, and this time he's wearing a suit. Gerhard Thunder's voice rumbles across Gargoyle's Court yet again, only it's not the Court anymore because it was crumbling and decrepit and a death hazard. So now they're dorming in the Farham Arena, to much outrage across the canal. Anyway, you know how you can tell a father knows what's best for his son? When he comes into his football club and, to avoid any accusations of nepotism or the general cloud of his presence ships him out to a starting role in Vermillion. Also club legend and country stalwart Christener and World Cup runner-up dos Santos. Thunder's bought conservatively in his first season, preferring (fair enough) to work with the foundations of what he was given, and they're pretty good foundations. Sheila Kilgallon is brought in on a free as the new backup goalkeeper, which is something. Yes, that is the daughter of Rook Cathar. She's meant to be quite good - Morgantrau, too. Oh, yeah, and he switched everything to 4-4-2.

Because of course he did, that's what he does, he's Gerhard Thunder. It's time to get hype. At the back, traditional goalkeeper, a pure shot-stopper per excellence like Caravella, now 32 and hasn't slowed a beat. Ahead of her, Weaver and Weiss, as smooth as they are alliterative and unafraid to get a boot in edgewise. The flanks are run by Tawney and Griffiths, who are unsurprisingly in the traditional overlapping shit-starting mode. In the heart of midfield, Cliving and Etzebeth are a rock-solid spine - the former, the captain, turns 34 just a month into the season and has understandably slowed a bit but remains an excellent Hollywood pass dispenser and set piece specialist. She'll also put in a defensive shift, but that's Etzebeth's bread and butter, a relentless specialist who'll do any job, no matter how ugly. Belgrave on the right wing, Meier on the left - the latter would be starting for Nephara had she not opted to make waves in Farfadillis instead, not that this magazine is bitter or anything. But they're both quick agents of chaos, and that's the kind of thing that the front two thrive on. Veteran Hargreaves, normally a midfield playmaker by trade, drifts just behind the aggressive poacher Johnson and offers the link to midfield as well as a deeper option for his signature grass-cutting shots. Johnson, well, she scored 28 league goals last season to win her third Iron Boot, enough said. A world-class striker. The backups are largely homegrown, instilled with the club's values and entirely capable of filling in gaps - keep an eye out especially for Gudrun Crowley, raven-haired and with dangerous eyes.

PREDICTION - 4th.
Manager: Gerhard Thunder
Asst. Manager: Audrey Carlock
Goalkeepers: 1 - Isadora Caravella, 12 - Sheila Kilgallon, 25 - Jacqui Edmond
Defenders: 2 - Everard Tawney, 3 - Nikita Griffiths, 5 - Pavel Weaver, 6 - Lucia Pembroke, 17 - Joan Casemere, 19 - Jessica Weiss (PAS), 23 - Berthold Albrecht, 36 - Rona Morgantrau
Midfielders: 4 - Gudrun Crowley, 7 - Sabina Tambor, 8 - Orion Etzebeth, 11 - Scheherazade Meier, 13 - Cardinal Belgrave, 18 - Kirsten Cliving (c), 24 - Gareth Austine, 37 - Valerie Ashburner
Forwards: 9 - Rune Haldenstadt (SEM), 10 - Aaliyah Johnson (OSR), 15 - Mathilda Jaeger, 22 - Leo Hargreaves (EUR), 32 - Nevaeh Cathar

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League Finish: 2nd (First Division)
Cup Run: Third Round
Stadium: Aventurine Street (20,000)
Nickname: the Dragons
Captain: Gareth Hartson
Goal Tallies: Swanenburg, Steelbridge (17); Keoman (7); Barron, Ornstein (6); Bramall (4); Keoman, Kovalski (3); Keepton, Armagnac (2); Langbauer, Truiden, Penclare, Pfenning, Scandard (1) - 2 o.g. - 74 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-4-2) 1 - Hartson (c); 2 - Sorrell, 22 - Kovalski, 5 - McGuinness, 18 - Riesling; 7 - Ornstein, 8 - Keoman, 6 - Emmerich, 23 - Corvine; 9 - Mason, 16 - Swanenburg
In: Talisca Sorrell (Cypher Town, 2m), Orlagh McGuinness (FC Matovallanen, 1m), Carrie Mason (Pur, free), Gareth Corvine (Sabrefell Athletic, loan)
Promoted: Brandon Connell (GK, 18), Nils Armbruster (CB, 19)
Out: Tash Arrowsmith (Martella Jazz, free), Camilla Searle (Extreme Hills, free), Lind Fontaine (Goldstaff City, free), Mick Armagnac (Martella Jazz, free), Nikita Barron (Rochford, free)
Retired: Barry Mallon (RB, 36)

RECENT HISTORY
65: First Division; 2nd, W29, D7, L10, GF74, GA41, 94 pts, Promoted
64: First Division; 6th, W21, D8, L17, GF54, GA48, 71 pts
63: Premiership; 22nd, W12, D10, L24, GF52, GA87, 46 pts, Relegated
62: First Division; 4th, W24, D6, L16, GF83, GA51, 78 pts, Promoted
61: Premiership; 22nd, W10, D10, L26, GF43, GA79, 40 pts, Relegated
60: Premiership; 16th, W14, D14, L18, GF66, GA68, 56 pts
59: First Division; 1st, W28, D9, L9, GF76, GA34, 93 pts, Promoted
58: First Division; 5th, W26, D10, L10, GF81, GA43, 88 pts
57: First Division; 6th, W24, D7, L15, GF73, GA59, 79 pts
56: First Division; 10th, W17, D15, L14, GF77, GA60, 66 pts

So, the Dragons are back in decisive fashion, clinching a surprising but comfortable promotion in emphatic fashion. Serpentine have haemorrhaged their best youth products over the years - usually to Treason, who now have Woodspur and Vesper on the flanks and Vyntra in defence. After another surprising promotion, the decision was made to break out the warchest and make a real statement of intent... well, that's what the board said, but it didn't really materialise. Their best asset on paper is the free, Mason - who spent last season on loan at Ritter Town, her goals keeping them out of the relegation fight - but her status is near-legendary after a spell in Chromatika where she established herself as one of its leading marksmen. At 27, this is her first shot at the Premiership. Promising, physical 20-year old winger Corvine is loaned from Athletic, seasoned ex-Pilgrimage defender Orlagh McGuinness is brought in from Semarland while Talisca Sorrell has been pretty impressive back in the second tier. Five club servants and Premiership veterans are released, a sixth retires.

Still... they should be in a position to cause problems at the sharp end of Nepharim football. Bronwyn Sadler remains in charge, of course, and continues to favour a swashbuckling 4-4-2 relying on great wing play and lethal forwards. In goal, it's still 32-year old captain Gareth Hartson, a natural leader, all swagger and muscle. The foreign central defence in front of him is pretty tasty, too - Kovalski and McGuinness are both of the 'when in doubt, hoof it out' mould that's never gone out of fashion - while Sorrell and Riesling are both very, very fast. Sorrell's a lot better at everything else, too. Keoman and Emmerich provide a solid midfield platform - Emmerich is everywhere in a holding role and Keoman's got a devilish shot on her - while Ornstein and Corvine are both muscular, incisive wingers happy to drift inside and let their fullbacks overlap. Up front, Swanenburg is a typical Audioslav, all brawn and industry, while the lightning-quick, lethal Mason is expected to shine. In terms of depth, backup goalkeeper Swoboda is highly-rated at just 21, while players like Bramall, Penclare, Taylor and Steelbridge were important parts of earlier Premiership glories. All in all, this season is crucial for the Dragons - stay up and they can build to become a Premiership fixture. Go down? And you won't be sure when they'll be back.

PREDICTION - 17th.
Manager: Bronwyn Sadler
Asst. Manager: Gerhard Cambridge
Goalkeepers: 1 - Gareth Hartson (c), 12 - Andreas Swoboda, 30 - Brandon Connell
Defenders: 2 - Talisca Sorrell, 3 - Ash Scandard, 5 - Orlagh McGuinness (MBT), 17 - Cethin Bramall, 18 - Yehoshua Riesling, 19 - Fortune Adeleke, 22 - Harland Kovalski (AUD), 33 - Nils Armbruster
Midfielders: 4 - Elsa Taylor, 6 - Ranulf Emmerich, 7 - Lezalit Ornstein, 8 - Ashley Keoman, 11 - Hannah Truiden, 13 - Scott Penclare, 21 - Jorja Pfenning, 23 - Gareth Corvine
Forwards: 9 - Carrie Mason, 10 - Miriam Steelbridge, 15 - Mateo Keepton, 16 - Grigori Swanenburg (AUD), 14 - Coraline Langbauer

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League Finish: 6th
Cup Run: Third Round
Stadium: Jade Park (24,000)
Nickname: the Passerines
Captain: Kurtis Warner
Goal Tallies: Cautcher (21); Westerlow (15); Gallagher (9); Asif (7); Kerrigan, Costello (4); Kaspian (3); Warner, Auttenberg (2); Hawke, Sutton, Surman (1) - 2 o.g. - 72 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-4-2) 1 - Hargrave (c); 18 - Koehler, 4 - McNessa, 3 - Marquon, 6 - Surman; 7 - Asif, 8 - Gallagher, 23 - Costello, 13 - Kaspian; 9 - Andisori, 10 - Cautcher
In: Keira Andisori (Letson Town, 16m), Cesar Corvalan (Argi Sanguesa, 3m)
Promoted: Lyre Castor (LB, 18), Elsa Kaelin (LM, 19)
Out: Julia Kerrigan (Rozelle United, 2m), Kurtis Warner (The Port FC, 750k), Rebecca Moody (Grigio Calcio, free), Estrella Hawke (Lammerton, loan)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 6th, W23, D13, L10, GF72, GA43, 82 pts, Globe Cup
64: Premiership; 1st, W23, D10, L13, GF66, GA49, 79 pts, Champions Cup
63: Premiership; 1st, W27, D8, L11, GF71, GA42, 89 pts, Champions Cup
62: Premiership; 13th, W17, D11, L18, GF65, GA66, 62 pts
61: Premiership; 18th, W12, D12, L22, GF46, GA70, 48 pts
60: First Division; 1st, W26, D10, L10, GF84, GA51, 88 pts, Promoted
59: Premiership; 23rd, W7, D17, L22, GF35, GA71, 38 pts, Relegated
58: First Division; 2nd, W29, D12, L5, GF90, GA40, 99 pts, Promoted
57: First Division; 10th, W18, D12, L16, GF79, GA56, 66 pts
56: First Division; 11th, W16, D18, L12, GF80, GA69, 66 pts

Here comes Starling again. Okay, they didn’t win the league or become World Champions, but still, they’ve been damn impressive and look to be trying to consolidate their position at the business end of the Premiership. And, well, technically they did better than their second title win, but that was a really weird season in general. They haven’t made that many changes, naturally - it pays to stick with the sort of players who have done absurdly well by you in the past, and Fegelein respects loyalty. But Kerrigan felt she needed to start, Hawke needed room to flourish and, well, for the veterans Moody and Warner, their time had simply come… even if Moody could probably have done better than the Askari Union, wherever the hell that is. But they’ve spared no expense on replacement - specifically, on Keira Andisori, who needs no introduction. Corvalan? He’s one to watch, as well - but the Ceni youth international’s one for the future.

So, the squad, and yes, it’s in the familiar 4-4-2 (most of the time) used to such perfect, quintessentially Nepharim effect of recent times. Hargrave is indomitable between the posts, huge, impossibly strong and a pure commander between the sticks, and a gentle, soft-spoken Valesider off the pitch. Overcome your natural bile reflex at the fact that Marquon took the 3 vacated by Moody to line up with (number 4) McNessa in the heart of defence to realise that the partnership is among the Premiership's best... at least, with the ball on the floor. Neither will go down easily, but neither is a physical juggernaut. But the technical efficiency of both is a significant advantage to them. Koehler and Surman, Nephara internationals both, are solid, defensive types, intelligent and brisk and rarely caught out. The midfield is the side’s relative weakness, but it’s nothing to be sniffed at - for Christ’s sake, the first name on the teamsheet is Nicola Costello, who’s hardly slowed a beat since 33. But Malachi Gallagher’s form as a box-to-box marauder slipped noticeably last season, and the more solid Sutton pushed him firmly for his place. On the wings, Asif and Kaspian are also both internationals, more cunning than quick, and the defensive solidity of the fullbacks ensures they can focus on what they do best without wearing themselves out tracking back. Up front? Andisori and Cautcher are going to score an absurd amount of goals - if Cautcher stays fit, anyway. But Starling’s physios seem to be the best on the planet, rehabilitating both her and the one-glass McNessa into 50-starts-a-year stalwarts. If the depth is stretched, there’s a good mix of good, solid veterans (Fowler, Hastings, Westerlow) and gifted young guns (Corvalan, Kaelin, the loaned Hawke). All in all? This is not a side that can be dismissed anymore. They’re here to stay.

PREDICTION - 6th.
Manager: Amethyst Fegelein
Asst. Manager: Markus Horst
Goalkeepers: 1 - Justinian Hargrave, 12 - Melissa Aspen, 30 - Reinhard Meixner
Defenders: 2 - Emery Hastings, 3 - Francesca Marquon, 4 - Deirdre McNessa (COS), 5 - Steed Fowler, 6 - Hyacinth Surman, 18 - Mirko Koehler, 19 - Helvetica Scaffell, 34 - Lyre Castor
Midfielders: 7 - Ali Asif (EFL), 8 - Malachi Gallagher, 13 - Lucius Kaspian (COS), 14 - Sleipnir Woodwind, 15 - Athana Finchcleft, 20 - Josie Sutton, 23 - Nicola Costello (OSR), 35 - Elsa Kaelin
Forwards: 9 - Keira Andisori (CMT), 10 - Claudia Cautcher, 16 - Hansi Westerlow, 22 - Ingrid Auttenberg, 36 - Cesar Corvalan
Out on Loan: 31 - Estrella Hawke

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League Finish: Champions
Cup Run: Third Round
Stadium: The Gauntlet (65,000)
Nickname: the Stags
Captain: Scylla Vyntra
Goal Tallies: Cantor (24); Portsgate (16); Woodspur (11); Vesper (10); Jaspenner (5); Vyntra, Murdoch (4); Kantaroff (3); Kuijer, Mixe, Katskalidis, Preussler (2); Armstrong, Anderton, Lindgren (1) - 2 o.g. - 90 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-4-2) 1 - Ballard; 23 - Westmead, 19 - Svensson, 6 - Katskalidis, 2 - Vyntra (c); 7 - Woodspur, 4 - Labonne, 8 - Tarashaj, 11 - Vesper; 9 - Fraser, 10 - Cantor
In: Roddy Fraser (Oljestaden IF, 40m), Peter Svensson (FC Jansberg, 15m), Vedran Tarashaj (Coret Hawks, 10m), Gareth Westmead (Violence Chariots, 8m)
Promoted: Servet Misidjan (CM, 19)
Out: Olenna Jaspenner (Bishop, 2.5m), Gary Boatman (Armstrong, 2.2m), Logan Murdoch (Willox Street Pirates, 2m), Leonhard Mixe (Parrhesia United, 1.75m)
Retired: Markus Anderton (CM, 35)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 1st, W27, D10, L9, GF90, GA50, 91 pts, Champions Cup
64: Premiership; 4th, W22, D9, L15, GF69, GA50, 75 pts, Champions Cup
63: Premiership; 7th, W20, D15, L11, GF73, GA56, 75 pts, Globe Cup
62: Premiership; 3rd, W26, D11, L9, GF81, GA51, 89 pts, Champions Cup
61: Premiership; 7th, W22, D11, L13, GF76, GA45, 77 pts, Globe Cup
60: Premiership; 9th, W19, D10, L17, GF54, GA47, 67 pts
59: Premiership; 9th, W18, D17, L11, GF61, GA49, 71 pts
58: Premiership; 4th, W22, D14, L10, GF69, GA44, 80 pts, Globe Cup
57: Premiership; 1st, W28, D11, L7, GF89, GA42, 95 pts, Champions Cup
56: Premiership; 1st, W32, D7, L7, GF92, GA36, 103 pts, Champions Cup

"A football club is like a shark. You have to keep moving forward, or you're dead." Thus said Ben Randall in the offseason, and his side - defending champions - have splashed mightily in the offseason. Treason had already set the last record transfer fee, 25 million for Adnan Zozula. Now they spend 40 million on Roddy Fraser, a 20-year old Audioslavian striker with an uncanny eye for goal. And international bulwark Svensson. And jostling candidate to command a place in Nephara's back line Westmead. And outstanding midfielder Tarashaj. Aged 20, 26, 25 and 22 respectively. They lose... a backup striker and two 35-year olds - admittedly all of them fondly regarded, as Anderton retires a one-club man, Jaspenner was homegrown as well and Murdoch, a distinguished international, was their driving force behind last campaign. Gary Boatman, who managed a sterling seven league appearances over three years in the first team, is also shunted off to Armstrong. Look, there's not much else to say, is there? Right now they are, perhaps, the best team in the entire world.

Ben Randall deserves all credit, of course - he's a hard taskmaster with a great eye for tactics and seems to have an instinctive feel for exactly the right thing to say or do at any given time. His eye for recruitment, evidently, helps. Diandra Ballard looks likely to keep her place between the posts - the 35-year old veteran, who of course is a product of the club, remains a commanding presence and a world-class shot-stopper. Svensson and Katskalidis are... also world-class players, a natural commander and an lanky murderer. Not elegant, but very effective. With a spine like that, adventurous fullbacks like Gareth Westmead and the new captain and national hero Scylla Vyntra just make perfect sense, especially when they allow two extremely good, very incisive wingers - Woodspur and Vesper - to cut inside as they overlap. All four, by the way, incredibly fast. In the centre of the pitch, the spine is straightened out by Marcel Labonne, worth every penny forked out for him to stiffen the side, while Tarashaj, the first Premiership player of Vale Traveler descent, is a superb box-to-box player when he's not elbowing or kicking people, easily fulfilling his defensive yards while also driving forward in attack. Up front, Fraser's eye for goal is genuinely eerie at times while Igrene Cantor needs no introduction - the most powerful left boot in the world (if by no means the most subtle), and an eye for the top corner. Someone injured? Then look to the bench. Fletcher has to be the best backup goalkeeper in the competition, Przybyla and Armstrong are great defenders in their own right, Portsgate a proven goalscorer to have on the bench and Saskia Kantaroff in particular has a very bright future ahead of her, just to pluck out the highlights. That's 5 World Cup winners, by the way, and 13 depending on Mixe internationals. As for concerns about homegrown players? Baseless - 12 of the players came through the academy. Yeah - favourites.

PREDICTION - Champions.
Manager: Ben Randall (EUR)
Asst. Manager: Juergen Stone
Goalkeepers: 1 - Diandra Ballard, 18 - Gideon Fletcher, 30 - Besart Schankelen
Defenders: 2 - Scylla Vyntra, 3 - Nikola Lindgren, 5 - Reinhard Armstrong, 6 - Calliope Katskalidis, 16 - Isadora Przybyla (NSI), 17 - Sansa Dreyfuss, 19 - Peter Svensson (COS), 23 - Gareth Westmead
Midfielders: 4 - Marcel Labonne (SEM), 7 - Mariska Woodspur, 8 - Markus Anderton (c), 11 - Lienke Vesper, 15 - Sonja Dreyer, 21 - Saskia Kantaroff, 25 - Ana Kuijer, 33 - Servet Misidjan
Forwards: 9 - Roddy Fraser (AUD), 10 - Igrene Cantor, 13 - Sabrine Portsgate, 22 - Ida Preussler, 24 - Helmut Brouwer

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League Finish: 8th
Cup Run: Fifth Round
Stadium: The Iron Hill (49,500)
Nickname: the Rage, the Lads
Captain: Hye Min Jeong
Goal Tallies: Alemane (15); Runen (14); Purrington (12); Pokrovski (8); Xidhas, Cruz (7); Aveline (4); Rathlinker (3); Defaye, Jeong (2); Tzavellas, Ashworth, Fernwood (1) - 1 o.g. - 78 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-3) 12 - Thunder; 2 - Defaye, 6 - Jeong (c), 4 - Preston, 3 - Osei-Mensah; 19 - Aveline, 8 - Tzavellas, 21 - Purrington; 10 - Alemane, 9 - Cruz, 23 - Madrigal
In: Carsten Thunder (Sabrefell Moths, 4m), Coraline Madrigal (Crisisbless United, 3m), Kojo Osei-Mensah (FC Jansberg, 2.5m), Joscelyn Ambrose (Project +90, free)
Promoted: Daniel Sorrentine (RB, 19), Leontios Skapoulis (CB, 19)
Out: Apostolos Tsattalios (Phalanx AF, 10m), Kunigunde Almerich (West Brinemouth, 2m), Sarah Carmady (West Brinemouth, 2m), Christian Ledger (Iron City, 1.75m), Brendan Blake (Cranequin City, free), Kamasutra Fernwood (Riverkey, loan)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 8th, W23, D11, L12, GF78, GA57, 80 pts
64: Premiership; 2nd, W23, D8, L15, GF78, GA56, 77 pts, Champions Cup
63: Premiership; 15th, W17, D6, L23, GF77, GA86, 57 pts
62: Premiership; 11th, W18, D11, L17, GF66, GA67, 65 pts
61: Premiership; 13th, W18, D10, L18, GF62, GA69, 64 pts
60: Premiership; 8th, W19, D11, L16, GF69, GA60, 68 pts
59: Premiership; 8th, W22, D7, L17, GF76, GA70, 73 pts
58: Premiership; 5th, W21, D12, L13, GF86, GA70, 75 pts, Globe Cup
57: Premiership; 3rd, W26, D8, L12, GF75, GA54, 86 pts
56: Premiership; 16th, W14, D15, L17, GF67, GA67, 57 pts

Lots of changes in Vermillion, after a narrow failure to reach the Globe Cup places. Theresa Riether appears genuinely happy wheeling and dealing, trading up by shipping the old or bad (Carmady and Almerich respectively to West Brinemouth, Blake and Ledger respectively to the second tier) and buying shiny new models in their stead, as out-of-favour Fernwood also goes out to win some experience with newly-promoted Riverkey. She wasn't meant to at first, but transfers involving 33-year old captain Runen fell through at the end. What, annoyingly for Vermillion fans, did not fall through was a 10-million swoop for Nephara's brightest emerging goalkeeper by Cenian side Phalanx. Prince of Nepharim footballing culture Carsten Thunder takes over the reigns between the posts, Madrigal reinforces and enlivens the front line, Osei-Mensah sharpens a problem position while Joscelyn Ambrose... well, she's one of those Project transfers that's like, 'she's decent and free' more than the Corren/Ritter/Tarrant/Kellard brand of stars in the making. Both Sorrentine and Skapoulis are promising, after a rather underwhelming series of players in the past have emerged from the academy. Like, well, Ledger and Almerich.

But enough of off-field matters - the Rage look set for another season of unleashing relentless, full-bore entertainment on neutrals across the multiverse. This is post-World Cup Riether, controlling her crippling anxiety with relaxed tactics and an admirable determination to just let her side play their game. Carsten Thunder, just sold by his own father, is 25 and has never consistently started but always looked up to the part when called upon, more a traditionalist than the departed Tsattalios. Ahead of him, Jeong is a standout for the team, a steady hand at the back and inspirational captain - Ronan Preston, by contrast, is one of the dirtiest players in the entire league. Defaye and Osei-Mensah are both suspect defensively but have plenty to offer charging forward, and that's what counts to Riether. Anyway, more defensive cover is what the metronomic Tzavellas does, no longer quite in the earthbreaking form that lead to widespread calls for an international callup but still just someone who does the simple things very well and enables the figuratively well-rounded Ashleigh Aveline/'Judas' Xidhas and the literally well-rounded playmaker Purrington to shine. Up front, Alemane is one of the team's shining assets, seemingly everywhere at once in the attack. On the left, Madrigal was ripping the First Division to shreds with her impeccable close control, and there wasn't a finer dribbler outside the top half of the Premiership, while up front? Christa Cruz is definitely clever enough to get in the right places and angry enough not to be stopped, but she needs more consistency in front of goal to maintain her place. On the bench, veterans Pokrovski and Runen have plenty of gamechanging moments in them, even in their early-mid thirties, but the squad is alarmingly thin everywhere else. A strong performance relies on a clean bill of health - injuries to key defensive personnel, Jeong and Tzavellas especially, would be disastrous.

PREDICTION - 9th.
Manager: Theresa Riether
Asst. Manager: Lorelei Redruth
Goalkeepers: 1 - Gerry Malone, 12 - Carsten Thunder, 25 - Gareth Kinneman
Defenders: 2 - Elisa Defaye, 3 - Kojo Osei-Mensah (SEM), 4 - Ronan Preston (TSA), 6 - Hye Min Jeong (QUE, c), 13 - Diana Ashworth, 18 - Hecia Barksdale, 34 - Leontios Skapoulis, 36 - Daniel Sorrentine
Midfielders: 8 - Marios Tzavellas, 14 - Persephone Xidhas, 19 - Ashleigh Aveline, 20 - Eleanora Scherer, 21 - Catherine Purrington (BRE), 24 - Les Katholos
Forwards: 7 - Tipio Runen (SEM), 9 - Christa Cruz (ARM), 10 - Corvid Alemane, 11 - Svatioslav Pokrovski (PAS), 15 - Claire Rathlinker, 16 - Joscelyn Ambrose, 23 - Coraline Madrigal
Out on Loan: 22 - Kamasutra Fernwood

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League Finish: 11th
Cup Run: Fourth Round
Stadium: The Scythes (29,500)
Nickname: the Chariots
Captain: Alexander Soarhaven
Goal Tallies: Voeller (21); Siorrha'Asione (15); St. John (12); Nemeth (8); Walker, Machairas (7); Hearn, Westmead (2); Riviello, Morgan, Robinson (1) - 1 o.g. - 78 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-3) 1 - Edelgrau; 2 - Raskin, 5 - Hagicostas, 18 - Soarhaven (c), 3 - Brill; 7 - Nemeth, 6 - Paterson, 22 - Machairas; 10 - Siorrha'Asione, 15 - Voeller, 11 - St. John
In: Dimitri Hagicostas (Armstrong, 2.25m), Adelaide Raskin (Morningstar, 2m)
Promoted: Interrobang Bermond (ST, 19)
Out: Gareth Westmead (AFC Treason, 8m), Trajan Bruyne (Lylat Starfox, 7m)
Retired: Nate Walker (ST, 35)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 11th, W20, D9, L17, GF83, GA89, 69 pts
64: Premiership; 14th, W17, D11, L18, GF78, GA85, 62 pts
63: Premiership; 13th, W17, D13, L16, GF74, GA63, 64 pts, Cup Winners
62: Premiership; 10th, W18, D12, L16, GF66, GA60, 66 pts
61: Premiership; 4th, W23, D13, L10, GF91, GA64, 82 pts, Champions Cup
60: Premiership; 2nd, W25, D11, L10, GF85, GA57, 86 pts, Champions Cup
59: Premiership; 5th, W22, D16, L8, GF80, GA44, 82 pts, Globe Cup
58: Premiership; 9th, W19, D14, L13, GF75, GA65, 71 pts
57: Premiership; 11th, W18, D14, L14, GF61, GA47, 68 pts
56: Premiership; 6th, W23, D8, L15, GF86, GA54, 77 pts

Some transfer windows are just very deeply unpleasant. This was one of them. They lose two really good young Nephara internationals and, agonisingly, the belated retirement of adopted Licentian one-club man Nate Walker, who could always be relied upon to shake things up in the final third and was one of the best strikers in the league in his day, winning a smattering of caps after naturalising to Nephara. The replacements? Well, Hagicostas is a proven player at this level, Raskin’s an impressive young fullback from the second tier - good, but hardly what was lost. And now their third-choice centre-forward is a guy literally called Interrobang. That’s literally just the ‘?!’ thing! But it's all part of the project, or so the club's line goes with gritted teeth and fingers crossed behind their backs, so they rebuild and go again.

But all that pessimism doesn’t quite add up with what’s on the pitch, and it has to be admitted that world-renowned manager Rossizzo is building a young, thrilling squad out of duct tape and prayer, and he’s even got the league’s most exciting goalkeeper! If exciting is defined by acrobatic and error-prone. But Edelgrau’s got more credit than debit in the back, and the solidity of Hagicostas and the Cosumarite captain Soarhaven should stop the team being massacred for the sake of idealism. Raskin and Brill… well, Farfadillan coaching. They overlap, unsurprisingly, and they do so excellently. The midfield is solid and unexciting - Lilith Paterson is more or less just a murderer, to try and balance out the side, while Nemeth is exciting but drifts out of matches and Machairas… is exciting but drifts out of matches. At least one of them needs to be on song come game time, and the redoubtable Lily Robinson can come on for the other. But the real riches are up front - Siorrha’Asione is a deliciously talented player, and just needs to keep his focus on the pitch. If he manages to lose his job, teenager winger Coppinger’s tipped to be a future international, and can step in already at this stage. Voeller is a Proper Nepharim Striker, iron-skulled and dynamic in the air, while St. John’s a classy, subtle operator drifting in from the left. While there’s many young guns on the bench (Coppinger, Escrow and Quiverell the best of them), there’s plenty of guile too - not just the aforementioned Robinson, but the self-imposed exile of veteran Republican midfielder Hancock can continue to help the Chariots hold on in the dying stages. A good side, the Chariots… but where are they going with all this?

PREDICTION - 11th.
Manager: Héctor Rossizzo (FFD)
Asst. Manager: Gonzalo Mordaz (FFD)
Goalkeepers: 1 - Maxine Edelgrau, 20 - Olivia Selkie, 25 - Stefan Bolander
Defenders: 2 - Adelaide Raskin, 3 - Alexis Brill (COS), 5 - Dimitri Hagicostas, 17 - Shara Lankin, 18 - Alexander Soarhaven (COS, c), 19 - Machalat Sauber, 21 - Sandra West, 23 - Tomas Ruthven
Midfielders: 4 - Kieran Hancock (FFR), 6 - Lilith Paterson, 7 - Valentine Nemeth, 8 - Lily Robinson, 22 - Escher Machairas, 36 - Inka Quiverell
Forwards: 9 - Claudia Escrow, 10 - Stiin Siorrha'Asione (FFD), 11 - Corentin Jack St. John (MBT), 14 - Sharon Kitteman, 15 - Asher Voeller, 33 - Interrobang Bermond, 39 - Brigitte Coppinger

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League Finish: 18th
Cup Run: Third Round
Stadium: Volkstadion (31,000)
Nickname: the Gulls
Captain: Maximillian Pembroke
Goal Tallies: Hurriston (16); Capulet, Taylor (9); Katsambanis (6); Foster (4); Martin, Courtenay (2); Halster, Culden, Terry (1) - 51 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-1-4-1) 1 - Morgan; 2 - Carmady, 5 - Defrank, 6 - Courtenay, 3 - Pembroke (c); 4 - Neubaum; 12 - Kirschester, 14 - Taylor, 8 - Capulet, 16 - Almerich; 9 - Weiler
In: Kunigunde Almerich (Vermillion Rage, 2m), Sarah Carmady (Vermillion Rage, 2m), Laura Weiler (Crisisbless United, 1.35m)
Promoted: Dave Cassen (GK, 20), Rook Trestleman (DM, 19)
Out: Joachim Pendant (Riverkey, free), Michael Whelan (Iron City, free), Apollo Demetriou (Fevelo United, free), Samael Lawrence (Diamondqueen, free)
Retired: Leigh Ramsay (GK, 36)

RECENT HISTORY
65: Premiership; 18th, W12, D11, L23, GF30, GA60, 47 pts
64: First Division; 4th, W19, D18, L9, GF51, GA38, 75 pts, Promoted
63: First Division; 16th, W15, D10, L21, GF47, GA53, 55 pts
62: First Division; 9th, W18, D13, L15, GF48, GA43, 67 pts
61: First Division; 10th, W19, D14, L13, GF48, GA31, 71 pts
60: Premiership; 22nd, W11, D9, L26, GF26, GA59, 42 pts, Relegated
59: First Division; 2nd, W24, D13, L9, GF58, GA30, 85 pts, Promoted
58: First Division; 6th, W25, D10, L11, GF62, GA27, 85 pts
57: First Division; 7th, W20, D13, L13, GF43, GA33, 73 pts
56: Premiership; 23rd, W7, D13, L26, GF39, GA78, 34 pts, Relegated

Most people thought the Gulls would shit up the league. But they opened with three straight draws, including an away Brinemouth derby, and continued to do just enough throughout the season despite having a bad team filled with bad players. They've released another four of them and seen backup goalkeeper Ramsay retire. What's worrying is the departure of Apollo Demetriou, who contributed precisely a third of West Brinemouth's 30 league goals last season. They've moved on local talent - the experience of Laura Weiler, who has plenty of goals in this division over the years, and grabbing the exuberant Kunigunde Almerich and seasoned Sarah Carmady from Vermillion.

Thing is, the Gulls still look really bad on paper. Old, as well - the average age is 28.8, and it'd skyrocket higher (to an even 30) if 22-year old Almerich was replaced by her 34-year old understudy, Martin. Plan A was always to defend, and basically all their goals were counterattacks or set pieces. Henna Morgan's a pretty good goalkeeper, you know? She needed to be last season. Carmady - if she can stay fit - has what it takes at this level, technically and mentally if not physically. Defrank, Courtenay and the versatile captain Pembroke are solidly mediocre Premiership defenders. Neubaum played out of his skin last season shielding that defence, and Taylor and Capulet are yet more muscular types ahead of him, capable of occasionally venturing forward. Attack, though, was left to the wings - brawny 32-year old Kirschester bruising leftbacks out of his way, while Almerich's pace will be a strong boon to the side. Weiler's, too, but the 30-year old's only played for the Project and Crisisbless United - can she thrive on such limited service? As for the depth, well... there's backup goalkeeper Lockwood, 20 and youth-capped, and Cattalock, who often moonlighted as a winger and did quite well. Most everyone else is second-rate. Last season was a miracle. How do you fancy their chances of another?

PREDICTION - 24th.
Manager: Almuth Coppell
Asst. Manager: Volker Schult
Goalkeepers: 1 - Henna Morgan, 20 - Reinhard Lockwood, 25 - Dave Cassen
Defenders: 2 - Sarah Carmady, 3 - Maximillian Pembroke (c), 5 - Ileana Defrank (NSI), 6 - Pearce Courtenay, 17 - James Culden, 19 - Alice Woodman, 22 - Jason Godfrey, 23 - Siri Cattalock
Midfielders: 4 - Uther Neubaum, 7 - Nicola Katsambanis, 8 - Miriam Capulet, 12 - Morgan Kirschester, 13 - Ivan Halster, 14 - Logan Taylor, 15 - Saffron Martin (OSR), 16 - Kunigunde Almerich, 25 - Hilda Stannion, 37 - Rook Trestleman
Forwards: 9 - Laura Weiler, 10 - Connor Hurriston, 23 - Brun Terry
WCC Grand Slam champion.
Accidental Gridiron Championship Silver Belt holders for six cycles??

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Postby Nephara » Fri Jan 06, 2017 3:20 am

AFC Treason 2-2 Sabrefell Moths (2-2 aet, 2-3 pens)

Before the season proper starts, the Stags and Moths end their preseason with a curtain-raiser at the new 28,000-capacity Phoenix Rise, a stadium that is an integral part of the eventual plan to be a proper capital side. League champions versus Cup champions - and named after the manager, Gethin Ramsey, who not only dragged Nephara’s national team into the modern era but has a world record to his name after taking three different sides (Nephara, the Licentian Isles and his current charges, Cosumar) to the World Cup. Both sides bring out mostly first-choice lineups, and the Moths go out all guns blazing. Hargreaves lashes a strike past Gideon Fletcher and then sets up Meier for a second, but in the second half, the Stags fight back. It’s a straightforward enough header from Fraser, first, and then he’s in the right place at the right time, seemingly drifting in the middle of nowhere but he turns out to be perfectly-placed as a glancing header falls onto his volleying boot. But it doesn’t avail his side - the teams are split after 120 minutes. Fletcher saves one penalty - but Caravella saves three, and it’s the Moths who take this trophy home. Is it a meaningless friendly or a sign of things to come? … Who can really tell, so far?

They both end up playing controversial local side AFC Corvistone as well, a side that counts four Premiership veterans amongst their ranks, including Maximum City’s defensive partnership throughout most of last season. They’re expected to win the Second Division by a canter, though they’ll be doing so in a much smaller local stadium. Schottian winger Jack Brier opens the scoring against Sabrefell Moths and Caspar Roe doubles the advantage within ten minutes, but the Moths (well, their B-listers) hammer five goals past Soren Johan (Nevaeh Cathar with a hat-trick!) to an ultimate 5-3 victory (Krista Morham with a perfect through-ball for former Goodfeather FC stalwart Bardsley to sidefoot home a consolation). Treason aren’t having any of that, though, and just pump the Ravens 5-0 - Servet Misidjan delivering an eyecatching performance from midfield.

Brinemouth 2-1 Cranequin Wanderers
Chatswood 2-3 AFC Serpentine
Crisisbless 4-0 Corvette Maulers
Maximum City 1-0 West Brinemouth
Maximum Rovers 6-4 Goodfeather FC
North Laithland 2-0 Chenoworth Harriers
Sabrefell Athletic 2-1 Bishop
Sabrefell Moths 1-1 Parrhesia United
AFC Treason 2-0 Newrook City
Vermillion Rage 1-0 Creed United
Violence Chariots 4-5 Brookford Otters
Coret Hawks 1-3 Starling

And the season kicks off! Finally! And… Jesus Christ. There’s some stunners here! Okay, so a drab 1-0 win by Maximum City over West Brinemouth, settled by a thumping drive from Niko Rosmalen, lets the team down somewhat - but almost everywhere else? Crisisbless remind the Maulers what the top tier is like, and Allison Swan gets a hat-trick of assists on debut, Ozaria Gandhi a brace of well-taken finishes as she’s simply given far too much room time and again, 4-0 the final score. Chatswood aim to show Serpentine what it’s like at the top, too - and they lead 2-1 at half-time. But cometh the hour, cometh the Mason, as the hitherto silent striker figuratively bursts into flame and lashes a brace past Middlesbrough to give Serpentine a vital three points away. The Chariots? Well, it’s a classic match they have as Matilda Heisenberg takes over the Otters - red cards for Siorrha’Asione and Lilith Paterson allow a comfortable 4-2 lead to become a 4-5 capitulation, with Kestrel the catalyst. But best of all? Maximum Rovers 6, with an unshackled Senturk inspirational from his new attacking midfield role, Goodfeather FC 4, Lexi Farrakhan lighting the game up in the last ten minutes as she’s hurled on from the bench and scoring a consolation goal with a backheel. Rutger Kolar, it’s fair to say, has a nightmare on his debut. But it’s in Coret where the real subplot kicks off - Gabriella Antonio’s Hawks might have been overrun by national teammate Andisori’s Passerines, but her consolation goal in the 79th, a neat half-volley that blindsided Hargrave, ensured that Andisori owed her dinner that night after a bet made public in a recent interview.

AFC Serpentine 3-4 Brinemouth
Corvette Maulers 0-2 Cranequin Wanderers
West Brinemouth 1-1 Chatswood
Goodfeather FC 0-2 Crisisbless
Chenoworth Harriers 5-1 Maximum City
Bishop 3-0 Maximum Rovers
Parrhesia United 3-1 North Laithland
Newrook City 1-3 Sabrefell Athletic
Creed United 0-5 Sabrefell Moths
Brookford Otters 1-1 AFC Treason
Starling 3-1 Vermillion Rage
Coret Hawks 0-3 Violence Chariots

Oh dear. Maximum City get annihilated by Chenoworth Harriers as their central defence just hasn’t quite clicked yet. Peta-Gaye West has tons of space and uses it all, making the most of uncertainty from Napthine in particular, but the real culprits are the fullbacks being unable to cope with Feist/Crowe and Bekkwaters/Barthez (and Bairstow, later) down the flanks. The Smiths… can’t defend? Creed United are… even worse. Mathis Woodgate seems to be wondering what kind of trainwreck he’s joined - the side’s already in danger of crashing out of the Champions’ Cup, but a 5-0 defeat at home to the Moths? Admittedly, an aging Hereford (soon on a yellow card) against Meier is not a fair fight down the left, and Livesey picks up a red at 3-0 after 70 minutes, but… were it not for Woodgate’s saves, it’d be looking close to double figures. Brinemouth are almost shocked by Serpentine and again it’s the exuberant, lightning-quick Carrie Mason repeatedly finding time and space to shoot beyond Vintner - but there’s too much class at the other end. Hartson will be dearly disappointed at being beaten at his near post for Bartley to lash home a late winner, but plenty of good signs for the Dragons early on.

Brinemouth 1-0 Corvette Maulers
AFC Serpentine 0-0 West Brinemouth
Cranequin Wanderers 1-0 Goodfeather FC
Chatswood 0-2 Chenoworth Harriers
Crisisbless 2-0 Bishop
Maximum City 0-1 Parrhesia United
Maximum Rovers 2-0 Newrook City
North Laithland 3-1 Creed United
Sabrefell Athletic 1-1 Brookford Otters
Sabrefell Moths 0-0 Starling
AFC Treason 0-3 Coret Hawks
Vermillion Rage 0-2 Violence Chariots

Creed United suffer their third straight defeat - the Spiders inflict a punishing 3-1 defeat on them, and it has to be said that they probably expected their big new expensive goalkeeper to not let Tsikitsiris’ weak shot trickle through his near post. Stavanger equalises but the Spiders secure their deserved victory late, a screamer by Stenet before substitute Damian Keogh all but passes the ball into the net. The Hawks set the tone for their match against Treason when Isidra Jeurissen finds a bit of space inside Westmead and somehow lashes the ball into the top corner in the second minute. The Stags never recover - they shut down the strikers well enough but more distant strikes without enough pressure are provided by Montague and McDonald for a chastening 3-0 home defeat. The Hawks, you’d imagine, would be happy with that as vindication for their top 6 aspirations. Player of the round is undoubtedly Maxine Edelgrau, though - the Chariots goalkeeper makes eleven saves in a typical free-flowing affair against Vermillion and keeps a clean sheet. At the other end, Siorrha’Asione’s brace ensures the Sabrefell side return home with the three points.

West Brinemouth 0-2 Brinemouth
Goodfeather FC 1-2 Corvette Maulers
Chenoworth Harriers 3-3 AFC Serpentine
Bishop 1-0 Cranequin Wanderers
Parrhesia United 4-1 Chatswood
Newrook City 1-5 Crisisbless
Creed United 0-0 Maximum City
Brookford Otters 2-1 Maximum Rovers
Starling 1-1 North Laithland
Coret Hawks 0-1 Sabrefell Athletic
Violence Chariots 0-6 Sabrefell Moths
Vermillion Rage 0-4 AFC Treason

Christ. Form means nothing. Edelgrau was brilliant against the Rage, while the Moths were held to a scoreless draw last match - and yet, the Chariots are pumped 6-0 at home, not that Edelgrau gets any help from her hapless defence. Raskin in particular is substituted off at half-time after being predictably dominated by Meier - Machalat Sauber, a fresh-faced 21-year old, hardly does any better.

UICA Qualifying Roundup
Qualifying has concluded, and it was pretty torrid.Sabrefell Athletic got cleaned out 5-1 away by La Nueva Avenida after a scoreless home draw and Creed United were also well beaten after a visit to Tanrisal - leaving Treason and Brinemouth to contest the Champions’ Cup.

The Moths were on the receiving end of a terrible upset as Ethani side Loconstead beat them 3-1 in Sabrefell and held on in the home leg to go through. But Athletic and Creed, at least, managed a comfortable pair of wins over Yeaddin and a thumping pair of wins over obscure Oberklasse respectively. They will join Starling and the Otters in the Globe Cup to make six UICA qualifiers in all.

Brinemouth 6-0 Goodfeather FC
West Brinemouth 1-2 Chenoworth Harriers
Corvette Maulers 1-4 Bishop
AFC Serpentine 1-2 Parrhesia United
Cranequin Wanderers 1-2 Newrook City
Chatswood 2-1 Creed United
Crisisbless 3-1 Brookford Otters
Maximum City 0-0 Starling
Maximum Rovers 2-2 Coret Hawks
North Laithland 0-3 Violence Chariots
Sabrefell Athletic 5-0 Vermillion Rage
Sabrefell Moths 5-1 AFC Treason

Newrook break their string of four defeats.
Crisisbless are the early front-runners, it seems - five straight wins, just two goals conceded, and a massive favour done for them by the Moths. They won their last match 6-0, Treason won theirs 4-0, and it’s looking like an exhilarating prospect… and in a way it proves it. Certainly for the Moths supporters, as Gerhard Thunder’s lads pulverise the Stags 5-1! Naturally, it’s Aaliyah Johnson doing most of the damage as she continues to stake a claim to being the world’s best striker. Athletic, though, beat Vermillion 5-0 across town with five different scorers, while Brinemouth annihilate an abject, pointless Goodfeather FC 6-0. The Quakers already look relegated, in all honesty, and someone seems to have kidnapped the real Rutger Kolar and replaced him with a fan from the stands. Meanwhile, in Corvette, the Maulers are forced to learn the hard way that the way to deal with disciplined, proficient counterattackers like Bishop is not to keep overextending to run at them - they lose 4-1 at home, and all the goals are basically identical.

Chenoworth Harriers 2-0 Brinemouth
Bishop 0-0 Goodfeather FC
Parrhesia United 2-0 West Brinemouth
Newrook City 2-2 Corvette Maulers
Creed United 1-1 AFC Serpentine
Brookford Otters 3-0 Cranequin Wanderers
Starling 3-0 Chatswood
Coret Hawks 2-1 Crisisbless
Violence Chariots 4-1 Maximum City
Vermillion Rage 4-0 Maximum Rovers
AFC Treason 4-1 North Laithland
Sabrefell Moths 3-6 Sabrefell Athletic

Form is meaningless this week. Vermillion Rage recover from a 5-0 defeat at the hands of Athletic to thump the Rovers 4-0, Purrington and Alemane carving them apart. Treason find a panacea in ripping Lara Finch’s Spiders to shreds to earn bragging rights in northwestern Crownsend, Tarashaj with a goal, an assist and a red card for elbowing Parable in the face and becoming an instant hero in the process. But what happens when Athletic and the Moths, who each scored five last match, face off? Admittedly, the Moths are in flying form, and had only conceded twice all season… riiight up until Andrea Bereveskos scored her first, second and third goals for her new club to round out a 6-3 win for Athletic. But spare a thought for the dreary scoreless draw in Bishop - it’s Goodfeather FC’s first point of the season.

Brinemouth 2-0 Bishop
Chenoworth Harriers 1-2 Parrhesia United
Goodfeather FC 2-1 Newrook City
West Brinemouth 1-1 Creed United
Corvette Maulers 2-1 Brookford Otters
AFC Serpentine 1-3 Starling
Cranequin Wanderers 0-0 Coret Hawks
Chatswood 4-1 Violence Chariots
Crisisbless 1-1 Vermillion Rage
Maximum City 2-3 AFC Treason
Maximum Rovers 0-4 Sabrefell Moths
North Laithland 4-0 Sabrefell Athletic

Odd day for Rutger Kolar between the posts for the Quakers - conventional wisdom in Newrook stated that he’d been given up on too early for an inferior replacement in Summersteen, while Goodfeather fans think (rightly) he’s been terrible all season and really should be dropped. As it happens, he’s not dropped, and makes a few good saves as, thanks to Maxine Lynwood’s first goals of the season, Goodfeather pick up a first win despite a late screamer from Plibersek. An unhappy homecoming for Chloe Rudden - not because she’s booed or anything, she’s still beloved at the Bluegrass, but because North Laithland pump her side 4-0 and Karsten Riordan kicks her a lot. There’s another 4-0 scoreline in Maximum, as the Moths pump the Rovers, but most eyes are on City. As always, they put up a fight against Treason, this time of a more constructive variety - standout star Niko Rosmalen with a 20-yard chip of Ballard before his direct free kick is deflected heavily past the flat-footed goalkeeper by Katskalidis. Roddy Fraser misses a complete sitter and looks abnormally demotivated, eventually hauled off after 50 minutes. And, worst of all, Dejan Corvell is played through one-on-one with Ballard… and while he doesn’t score, he breaks her arm. Gideon Fletcher is thrown on, and the away side are mad - almost immediately, Cantor blats one into the top corner out of nowhere, before in the 85th minute the pressure finally tells and Woodspur curls one beyond Jelic. But, inevitably, it takes until injury time… and a moment of magic from Gareth Westmead, cutting inside, beating three defenders, finding himself somehow in a central attacking midfield position, shrugging and smashing it into the stanchion for an unforgettable 3-2 win.

Parrhesia United 1-2 Brinemouth
Newrook City 2-0 Bishop
Creed United 2-0 Chenoworth Harriers
Brookford Otters 2-0 Goodfeather FC
Starling 2-0 West Brinemouth
Coret Hawks 2-0 Corvette Maulers
Violence Chariots 6-1 AFC Serpentine
Vermillion Rage 6-3 Cranequin Wanderers
AFC Treason 2-0 Chatswood
Sabrefell Moths 2-3 Crisisbless
Sabrefell Athletic 2-0 Maximum City
North Laithland 0-4 Maximum Rovers

Creed finally win a game - one of seven 2-0 home victories on a day where nobody actually drew. One of these is a Treason derby, and unsurprisingly it’s the Stags who breeze to a 2-0 win. Chatswood do alright, considering, but that unstoppable Lineker fire’s gone, and they lack the cutting edge to get past Gideon Fletcher deputising between the posts for the hosts. Vermillion Rage have the match of the round, a 6-3 thriller against Cranequin Wanderers (Luna Castelen does not have her best match) but Violence Chariots win even more plaudits with a concerted 6-1 destruction of Serpentine, who appear to be struggling in the central midfield as Ashley Keoman struggles to adapt to Premiership level and Ranulf Emmerich battles a niggling calf injury. But special credit is due to Maximum Rovers, who visit North Laithland and come away with a 4-0 win thanks largely to the brilliance of Aziz Senturk… and, surprisingly, a shift up front. Klaus Murdoch, their big attacking signing, snapped his ACL last match and is likely out for the season. In comes Konstanze Luitgard… and in her first start of the season, ratchets up a brace.

Brinemouth 0-2 Newrook City
Parrhesia United 1-1 Creed United
Bishop 2-2 Brookford Otters
Chenoworth Harriers 1-3 Starling
Goodfeather FC 1-0 Coret Hawks
West Brinemouth 0-1 Violence Chariots
Corvette Maulers 0-1 Vermillion Rage
AFC Serpentine 0-4 AFC Treason
Cranequin Wanderers 1-3 Sabrefell Moths
Chatswood 1-1 Sabrefell Athletic
Crisisbless 4-2 North Laithland
Maximum City 1-1 Maximum Rovers

The Maximum derby is actually really bad and boring, a 1-1 draw without even any red cards to talk about. But it’s not the most exciting week in general - though a highlight, you’d imagine, is Newrook City utterly dominating Brinemouth, defending tooth and nail and scoring twice off set pieces - Rivello heads home a corner, Sanna curls a free kick straight past Vintner. West Brinemouth manage 16% possession against Violence Chariots, fail to muster a shot (not ‘shot on target’. Zero shots attempted) and, impressively, only lose 1-0, Asher Voeller flicking a header past Henna Morgan in the 35th minute to pave the way for a collective sigh of relief around the stadium.

Creed United 0-1 Brinemouth
Brookford Otters 1-1 Newrook City
Starling 5-0 Parrhesia United
Coret Hawks 1-0 Bishop
Violence Chariots 2-2 Chenoworth Harriers
Vermillion Rage 3-1 Goodfeather FC
AFC Treason 2-0 West Brinemouth
Sabrefell Moths 2-3 Corvette Maulers
Sabrefell Athletic 4-0 AFC Serpentine
North Laithland 1-1 Cranequin Wanderers
Maximum Rovers 0-1 Chatswood
Maximum City 2-3 Crisisbless

Serpentine have conceded 17 goals in their last four games. Perhaps unsurprisingly, they’ve lost them all. The most recent is Sabrefell Athletic, simply far too fluid for them all over the pitch, and Sadler’s attempts to just dominate the opposition appear to come unstuck against the superior central midfields being encountered. The captain, Gareth Hartson… well, his confidence is clearly shot, as he passes straight to Bereveskos for the first goal. But they at least do one better- well, less worse, than the Saints, demolished 5-0 by Starling as Claudia Cautcher nets four. Keira Andisori was rested for the upcoming Globe Cup match, so the scoreline could’ve been far worse. Credit’s due to Corvette Maulers, incidentally, who go to Gargoyle’s Court with one mandate - to attack. It works for them, in a 3-2 victory - but they’re helped as Lukas Sparr, patchy up to this point in the season, makes ten saves.

Somer City and Surrounds 1-0 AFC Treason
Brinemouth 0-0 La Nueva Avenida

Hmph. Back down to earth, then. And in rather chastening fashion for the Stags who can’t break through Somer City, largely through the Electrum side’s sheer defensive grit. Those are three words that aren’t traditionally associated with either Brinemouth or La Nueva, and the bookies were probably scratching their heads as the very long odds on under 2.5 goals came to fruition.

Fadroen Flight 0-1 Creed United
Arlington Crew 0-1 Starling
Brookford Otters 1-0 Telecontare
Sabrefell Athletic 4-0 Club Stein-los

It’s not pretty, but Nepharim sides get it done. Four matches, four wins, four clean sheets. Three 1-0 scorelines, no less. Stavanger header sees off Fadroen, Andisori half-volley sees off Arlington, Kestrel penalty sees off Tele. Athletic, at least, are the only Nepharim side in the entire round of either UICA tournament to score more than just the one goal! They play some truly stylish football, with 34-year old Ole Oehman playing out of his skin out of position and with the armband in the heart of midfield as captain Castellan was injured.

Brinemouth 1-3 Brookford Otters
Creed United 1-1 Starling
Newrook City 1-3 Coret Hawks
Parrhesia United 0-3 Violence Chariots
Bishop 0-0 Vermillion Rage
Chenoworth Harriers 4-3 AFC Treason
Goodfeather FC 0-4 Sabrefell Moths
West Brinemouth 1-3 Sabrefell Athletic
Corvette Maulers 0-1 North Laithland
AFC Serpentine 1-1 Maximum Rovers
Cranequin Wanderers 1-0 Maximum City
Chatswood 2-4 Crisisbless

Despite a lightning start, the Saints are reeling - one point from four, now, as the Chariots destroy them 3-0 at home right after Starling had already pumped them 5-0 the last match. Goodfeather continue to be incredibly bad, and despite a career of solid service… dear God, someone please get Kolar out of the firing line. If it’s any consolation, which it really isn’t, Ethan Candelario does well in defensive midfield after Bierofka and Dietrich (returned from injury) had both been trialled and failed. He does well for thirty-three minutes, hacks down Hargreaves twice in the same run of play and is sent off. The Quakers lose 4-0 at home. Matilda Heisenberg’s Otters take the fight to Brinemouth and rip them apart 3-1, with Nikita Loeher scoring with three of her seven touches before being taken off in the 71st minute. The Dockers, meanwhile, squander the chances they’ve got. But credit is due to Chenoworth Harriers… leading 3-0 at half-time against the Stags, but cut back to 3-3, Woodspur cuts inside, Culpepper panicks and kicks her down… but Fraser looks aghast as his penalty is lashed over the bar. Within two minutes, in injury time? Raphael Somner’s strike from range is deflected past Fletcher, and the Harriers have a famous win to savour.

Gridlock Rovers 0-1 Falston Town
Norpike 1-3 Forge Carpenters
Masculine Town 0-0 Boltcroft Thorns (0-0 AET, 3-1 PKs)
Brunyard FC 0-1 Violence Tigers
Dartmouth Terriers 4-1 Vermillion Spite
Coral Bay 2-0 Gonen's Bridge
Long Lake 3-0 Gridlock
Alliance Barossia 3-1 Fischer
Norton Road 0-5 Pillars of Southfell
South Brill 0-2 Kommissar
The Hanged Man 3-0 Hartford Glade
Dubstep Rangers 1-1 Sirencall FC (1-1 AET, 5-3 PKs)
Gosmouth Swans 2-3 The Strongest
Stamper Road 0-0 FC Seierstad (0-0 AET, 4-5 PKs)
Ballardine FC 1-0 Lazuli Diamonds
Falston United 1-6 Fully Sick XI
Mainstream Fist 4-0 Swag Hill Rovers
Tryst Athletic 0-1 Harrington
Sandrock 0-3 Grovebank
Peregrine 0-1 Sutcroft Athletic
Twelvetrees 0-3 Nay Town
Fenland Albion 1-0 Rochford Pilgrims
Ramsay 0-1 Courser
Ringway 2-0 Camwell Town
Rushe United 1-0 West End
North Dubstep 0-0 Gridlock East (0-1 AET)
Downsparrow 1-0 Franchise FC
Lackerrun 2-1 Corby Hubris
Bodkin Road 1-0 Celebryant FC
Blaze 1-1 Clay Terrace (2-1 AET)
Bellamy 2-0 Rookwall
Corinthians No Longer 1-0 Mapleford

Teams scrap it out at the bottom of the ladder. Not many of these matches are ever hugely significant for neutrals, but some can sure as hell be exciting. Okay, so sometimes you need to be flexible with your definition of ‘excitement’ - a scoreless draw after 120 minutes between Conference minnows Masculine and Boltcroft ends in a 3-1 penalty shootout to the hosts - one penalty on either side literally ends up booted into a nearby car-park. There’s two other, better shootouts, but one is from Dubstep Rangers, a midtable fifth-tier side who were relatively recently in the Premiership but have totally collapsed fiscally. At least they beat Sirencall, only promoted to the Conference a couple of seasons ago! Meanwhile, the Fully Sick XI, a team founded by the Nepharim football subreddit that… got out of hand, celebrates its newfound professional status by pumping Falston United 6-1 away.

Starling 1-1 Brinemouth
Coret Hawks 4-0 Brookford Otters
Violence Chariots 1-2 Creed United
Vermillion Rage 3-3 Newrook City
AFC Treason 0-1 Parrhesia United
Sabrefell Moths 0-2 Bishop
Sabrefell Athletic 0-1 Chenoworth Harriers
North Laithland 5-1 Goodfeather FC
Maximum Rovers 1-0 West Brinemouth
Maximum City 3-2 Corvette Maulers
Crisisbless 1-2 AFC Serpentine
Chatswood 1-0 Cranequin Wanderers

It’s ultimately Crisisbless who enter the first quarter on top - this, despite being edged out somewhat unluckily by a ruthless AFC Serpentine, three badly-needed points. Undefeated Starling and Brinemouth, in the chase, cancel each other out to a 1-1 draw while Athletic are undone by the Harriers and a flying scorpion kick from Peta-Gaye West as the entire top four stumble. Parrhesia United, away from home, steal a march on them all - they hunker down and await the Stags’ onslaught and when, in the 72nd minute, backup striker Quinn McEthinly (only playing due to Telfair’s ankle injury) finally gets a sniff of the ball, she rifles it into the bottom corner leaving Fletcher without a chance. They’re now in 5th, Treason 7th, with the unreliable Chariots sandwiched between them. The Moths are well-beaten by Bishop and their early promise has given way to a distinctly poor run of form.

The Chariots are beaten by Creed, and that’s a useful three points for a side that somehow finds itself in 18th - beneath both Chatswood and the Rovers, who both grind out 1-0 home wins against strugglers. The Wanderers (the former of those strugglers), Maulers and Serpentine bridge the gap to relegation, all in a neat line. Maximum City beat the Maulers in an exhilarating 3-2 win, and right now they basically are just Niko Rosmalen and ten other guys. It lifts them above Goodfeather FC who are… oh, dear, annihilated 5-1 by North Laithland. They finally tried switching their goalkeeper to Raven Forster. It didn’t work out for them, and they’ve the worst defence in the top flight. But at least they aren’t the Gulls! West Brinemouth go down to a limp 1-0 defeat against the Rovers. They’ve conceded just one goal more than the defending champions, sure, and have only conceded once to set pieces… but they have just four goals (no two from any one player), three points and no wins. They’re genuinely fucked.

In the second tier, lots of familiar faces at both ends of the table, but no one team has dominated thus far. Raven River top the league as it stands thanks largely to a defence that has conceded just six goals but also the belated fitness and consistency of Nikita Arbor up front. Armstrong, who have surprisingly kept ahold of star striker Damian Harbour in the offseason, are also making a strong bid for promotion, while it’s tight as hell beneath there - Belgrave currently third and the highest scorers in the league with a flowing technical attack, South Laithland doing their standard yo-yo act in 4th. Spare a thought to Leichhardt, who are in the chase despite having scored (and conceded) less than a goal a match. Freshly-relegated Sheridan have lost their defensive edge and struggle along in 9th while promotion hopefuls Southfell waste away in 11th. But it could be worse. Once-proud Shale (the team that gave us Tosca Marlowe) are like a slightly less bad second tier version of West Brinemouth, while recent Premiership names in Ritter Town, Rochford and Cypher Town (who lost their three best players by a mile to Premiership teams, as well as last season’s starting striker, Daniel Bowyer, to the newly-founded TOPS) are all distinctly in the relegation battle. Newly-promoted Riverkey are struggling as well, and despite good preseason hopes have already fired their manager.

AFC Treason 3-0 Hastmead Diamante
Yuba United 2-0 Brinemouth

Beautiful stuff from the Stags - nostalgia-inducing, even. A very strong Diamante side that does, let’s not forget, include Elaine goddamn Ashdown, is run through not through superior technique but through Treason’s rock-solidity (Peter Svensson ends the game as man of the match) and ruthlessness (Fraser and Cantor don’t get many chances, but they make the most of them). Yuba deal with Brinemouth comfortably, however, and Stephen Frew’s side just seem to have slipped out of being one of the world’s best sides lately as they enter a transitional period.

Creed United 3-1 Port Sebastian
Starling 0-0 Twentytwo Cacti
Sonoma Center Panthers 2-0 Brookford Otters
CD FAS 2-1 Sabrefell Athletic

Creed United host Port Sebastian and fulfil the one key task of any side facing them - shut down Purinton. This accomplished by Taddeo Loredan with trademark efficiency, Farrier gets a brace at the other end and, though AFC Treason youth product Michi Leonard sets Steven Rexmont up perfectly to pull one back, Karena Braham kills it off in injury time. That’s a lot more than happens in Starling’s bore draw with Twentytwo Cacti, while the Otters are utterly stonewalled by Sonoma. Athletic, for once, find their final ball lacking, and they pay the price against a ruthless CD FAS.

MATCHDAY 1
Rochford 2-2 Locksley
Martella Jazz 1-2 North Sabrefell
Leichhardt 1-0 Riverkey
Extreme Hills 0-2 East Laithland Harriers
Vermillion Wanderers 1-3 South Laithland
Ritter Town 1-1 Armstrong
Coret Rovers 0-3 Sheridan
Iron City 1-0 AFC Shale
Morningstar 2-3 Crisisbless United
Belgrave 0-1 Raven River
Cypher Town 2-3 Southfell United
Cranequin City 1-0 Diamondqueen
MATCHDAY 2
North Sabrefell 4-0 Rochford
Riverkey 1-1 Locksley
East Laithland Harriers 1-1 Martella Jazz
South Laithland 1-0 Leichhardt
Armstrong 2-0 Extreme Hills
Sheridan 1-3 Vermillion Wanderers
AFC Shale 1-0 Ritter Town
Crisisbless United 2-3 Coret Rovers
Raven River 2-0 Iron City
Southfell United 1-2 Morningstar
Diamondqueen 1-1 Belgrave
Cranequin City 1-1 Cypher Town
MATCHDAY 3
Rochford 0-3 Riverkey
North Sabrefell 3-1 East Laithland Harriers
Locksley 2-1 South Laithland
Martella Jazz 1-2 Armstrong
Leichhardt 1-0 Sheridan
Extreme Hills 4-3 AFC Shale
Vermillion Wanderers 2-4 Crisisbless United
Ritter Town 0-3 Raven River
Coret Rovers 2-3 Southfell United
Iron City 0-0 Diamondqueen
Morningstar 2-0 Cranequin City
Belgrave 3-0 Cypher Town
MATCHDAY 4
East Laithland Harriers 0-2 Rochford
South Laithland 1-1 Riverkey
Armstrong 1-1 North Sabrefell
Sheridan 2-0 Locksley
AFC Shale 2-2 Martella Jazz
Crisisbless United 0-0 Leichhardt
Raven River 1-1 Extreme Hills
Southfell United 2-2 Vermillion Wanderers
Diamondqueen 2-2 Ritter Town
Cranequin City 2-2 Coret Rovers
Cypher Town 0-1 Iron City
Belgrave 3-6 Morningstar
MATCHDAY 5
Rochford 1-3 South Laithland
East Laithland Harriers 1-1 Armstrong
Riverkey 1-3 Sheridan
North Sabrefell 1-0 AFC Shale
Locksley 2-0 Crisisbless United
Martella Jazz 2-1 Raven River
Leichhardt 1-1 Southfell United
Extreme Hills 0-0 Diamondqueen
Vermillion Wanderers 2-2 Cranequin City
Ritter Town 0-1 Cypher Town
Coret Rovers 1-5 Belgrave
Iron City 0-0 Morningstar
MATCHDAY 6
Armstrong 0-0 Rochford
Sheridan 0-2 South Laithland
AFC Shale 0-0 East Laithland Harriers
Crisisbless United 9-0 Riverkey
Raven River 2-0 North Sabrefell
Southfell United 2-2 Locksley
Diamondqueen 0-2 Martella Jazz
Cranequin City 0-1 Leichhardt
Cypher Town 1-0 Extreme Hills
Belgrave 4-1 Vermillion Wanderers
Morningstar 2-1 Ritter Town
Iron City 0-1 Coret Rovers
MATCHDAY 7
Rochford 4-1 Sheridan
Armstrong 2-0 AFC Shale
South Laithland 5-1 Crisisbless United
East Laithland Harriers 1-0 Raven River
Riverkey 0-0 Southfell United
North Sabrefell 4-0 Diamondqueen
Locksley 1-2 Cranequin City
Martella Jazz 2-1 Cypher Town
Leichhardt 1-1 Belgrave
Extreme Hills 5-2 Morningstar
Vermillion Wanderers 2-0 Iron City
Ritter Town 0-0 Coret Rovers
MATCHDAY 8
AFC Shale 0-1 Rochford
Crisisbless United 0-2 Sheridan
Raven River 3-0 Armstrong
Southfell United 1-2 South Laithland
Diamondqueen 2-0 East Laithland Harriers
Cranequin City 1-0 Riverkey
Cypher Town 2-1 North Sabrefell
Belgrave 4-2 Locksley
Morningstar 1-2 Martella Jazz
Iron City 1-0 Leichhardt
Coret Rovers 0-0 Extreme Hills
Ritter Town 2-3 Vermillion Wanderers
MATCHDAY 9
Rochford 1-1 Crisisbless United
AFC Shale 1-3 Raven River
Sheridan 2-2 Southfell United
Armstrong 1-0 Diamondqueen
South Laithland 0-1 Cranequin City
East Laithland Harriers 2-1 Cypher Town
Riverkey 0-1 Belgrave
North Sabrefell 0-2 Morningstar
Locksley 1-0 Iron City
Martella Jazz 1-2 Coret Rovers
Leichhardt 2-1 Ritter Town
Extreme Hills 0-1 Vermillion Wanderers
MATCHDAY 10
Raven River 2-0 Rochford
Southfell United 0-1 Crisisbless United
Diamondqueen 2-0 AFC Shale
Cranequin City 0-1 Sheridan
Cypher Town 0-2 Armstrong
Belgrave 3-0 South Laithland
Morningstar 3-0 East Laithland Harriers
Iron City 3-0 Riverkey
Coret Rovers 1-1 North Sabrefell
Ritter Town 3-1 Locksley
Vermillion Wanderers 2-1 Martella Jazz
Extreme Hills 2-0 Leichhardt
MATCHDAY 11
Rochford 0-2 Southfell United
Raven River 0-0 Diamondqueen
Crisisbless United 2-0 Cranequin City
AFC Shale 0-2 Cypher Town
Sheridan 2-2 Belgrave
Armstrong 2-0 Morningstar
South Laithland 3-0 Iron City
East Laithland Harriers 1-1 Coret Rovers
Riverkey 1-3 Ritter Town
North Sabrefell 1-2 Vermillion Wanderers
Locksley 3-4 Extreme Hills
Martella Jazz 0-1 Leichhardt
MATCHDAY 12
Diamondqueen 2-0 Rochford
Cranequin City 2-3 Southfell United
Cypher Town 1-2 Raven River
Belgrave 0-0 Crisisbless United
Morningstar 1-0 AFC Shale
Iron City 1-1 Sheridan
Coret Rovers 1-2 Armstrong
Ritter Town 2-0 South Laithland
Vermillion Wanderers 0-1 East Laithland Harriers
Extreme Hills 1-2 Riverkey
Leichhardt 3-0 North Sabrefell
Martella Jazz 1-1 Locksley
MATCHDAY 1
Project +90 2-0 AFC Corvistone
Crisisbless Athletic 0-1 Southriver
Rhagant Schadenfreude 4-0 Iberia Chenoworth
South Parrhesia 1-0 Strephonage
Brindleton 0-1 Hackett
Ox River United 0-0 Chenoworth Rovers
Greygate 1-0 Dross Rovers
Senway Town 0-1 West Hook
Iron United 0-1 Boleyn Town
Sutcroft 1-2 Kensey Town
Mantlegrove 0-0 Stonegrave
Brookway Town 1-1 Crossroads Town
MATCHDAY 2
Southriver 2-2 Project +90
Iberia Chenoworth 3-2 AFC Corvistone
Strephonage 0-5 Crisisbless Athletic
Hackett 1-0 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Chenoworth Rovers 2-0 South Parrhesia
Dross Rovers 0-1 Brindleton
West Hook 3-0 Ox River United
Boleyn Town 0-2 Greygate
Kensey Town 1-1 Senway Town
Stonegrave 0-1 Iron United
Crossroads Town 2-2 Sutcroft
Brookway Town 3-3 Mantlegrove
MATCHDAY 3
Project +90 1-3 Iberia Chenoworth
Southriver 3-0 Strephonage
AFC Corvistone 4-0 Hackett
Crisisbless Athletic 0-1 Chenoworth Rovers
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-1 Dross Rovers
South Parrhesia 2-0 West Hook
Brindleton 0-0 Boleyn Town
Ox River United 0-1 Kensey Town
Greygate 2-1 Stonegrave
Senway Town 0-1 Crossroads Town
Iron United 4-1 Brookway Town
Sutcroft 0-0 Mantlegrove
MATCHDAY 4
Strephonage 1-0 Project +90
Hackett 2-1 Iberia Chenoworth
Chenoworth Rovers 3-1 Southriver
Dross Rovers 0-2 AFC Corvistone
West Hook 2-2 Crisisbless Athletic
Boleyn Town 1-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Kensey Town 1-1 South Parrhesia
Stonegrave 1-0 Brindleton
Crossroads Town 4-0 Ox River United
Brookway Town 0-2 Greygate
Mantlegrove 4-0 Senway Town
Sutcroft 3-0 Iron United
MATCHDAY 5
Project +90 2-2 Hackett
Strephonage 2-3 Chenoworth Rovers
Iberia Chenoworth 2-5 Dross Rovers
Southriver 0-0 West Hook
AFC Corvistone 3-4 Boleyn Town
Crisisbless Athletic 1-0 Kensey Town
Rhagant Schadenfreude 1-0 Stonegrave
South Parrhesia 0-2 Crossroads Town
Brindleton 2-1 Brookway Town
Ox River United 1-1 Mantlegrove
Greygate 1-1 Sutcroft
Senway Town 0-1 Iron United
MATCHDAY 6
Chenoworth Rovers 0-1 Project +90
Dross Rovers 1-1 Hackett
West Hook 1-2 Strephonage
Boleyn Town 4-2 Iberia Chenoworth
Kensey Town 2-1 Southriver
Stonegrave 1-1 AFC Corvistone
Crossroads Town 3-1 Crisisbless Athletic
Brookway Town 0-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Mantlegrove 2-1 South Parrhesia
Sutcroft 1-0 Brindleton
Iron United 2-0 Ox River United
Senway Town 1-3 Greygate
MATCHDAY 7
Project +90 1-1 Dross Rovers
Chenoworth Rovers 1-1 West Hook
Hackett 5-0 Boleyn Town
Strephonage 1-1 Kensey Town
Iberia Chenoworth 1-3 Stonegrave
Southriver 1-1 Crossroads Town
AFC Corvistone 7-1 Brookway Town
Crisisbless Athletic 1-1 Mantlegrove
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-1 Sutcroft
South Parrhesia 1-0 Iron United
Brindleton 2-0 Senway Town
Ox River United 0-1 Greygate
MATCHDAY 8
West Hook 0-0 Project +90
Boleyn Town 0-2 Dross Rovers
Kensey Town 4-0 Chenoworth Rovers
Stonegrave 2-1 Hackett
Crossroads Town 1-1 Strephonage
Brookway Town 0-8 Iberia Chenoworth
Mantlegrove 1-1 Southriver
Sutcroft 3-1 AFC Corvistone
Iron United 1-2 Crisisbless Athletic
Senway Town 0-0 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Greygate 3-0 South Parrhesia
Ox River United 1-2 Brindleton
MATCHDAY 9
Project +90 2-0 Boleyn Town
West Hook 0-0 Kensey Town
Dross Rovers 1-1 Stonegrave
Chenoworth Rovers 1-0 Crossroads Town
Hackett 4-0 Brookway Town
Strephonage 1-3 Mantlegrove
Iberia Chenoworth 1-1 Sutcroft
Southriver 2-1 Iron United
AFC Corvistone 4-0 Senway Town
Crisisbless Athletic 2-0 Greygate
Rhagant Schadenfreude 1-0 Ox River United
South Parrhesia 3-4 Brindleton
MATCHDAY 10
Kensey Town 0-1 Project +90
Stonegrave 2-0 Boleyn Town
Crossroads Town 2-0 West Hook
Brookway Town 1-0 Dross Rovers
Mantlegrove 3-0 Chenoworth Rovers
Sutcroft 0-2 Hackett
Iron United 1-2 Strephonage
Senway Town 0-1 Iberia Chenoworth
Greygate 1-0 Southriver
Ox River United 1-1 AFC Corvistone
Brindleton 1-0 Crisisbless Athletic
South Parrhesia 1-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
MATCHDAY 11
Project +90 1-1 Stonegrave
Kensey Town 3-0 Crossroads Town
Boleyn Town 2-1 Brookway Town
West Hook 1-1 Mantlegrove
Dross Rovers 0-2 Sutcroft
Chenoworth Rovers 3-0 Iron United
Hackett 1-0 Senway Town
Strephonage 0-1 Greygate
Iberia Chenoworth 3-2 Ox River United
Southriver 0-3 Brindleton
AFC Corvistone 2-1 South Parrhesia
Crisisbless Athletic 1-0 Rhagant Schadenfreude
MATCHDAY 12
Crossroads Town 2-1 Project +90
Brookway Town 0-1 Stonegrave
Mantlegrove 2-1 Kensey Town
Sutcroft 1-0 Boleyn Town
Iron United 3-1 West Hook
Senway Town 0-1 Dross Rovers
Greygate 1-1 Chenoworth Rovers
Ox River United 0-1 Hackett
Brindleton 1-0 Strephonage
South Parrhesia 4-1 Iberia Chenoworth
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-1 Southriver
Crisisbless Athletic 2-0 AFC Corvistone
MATCHDAY 1
Sutcroft Athletic 2-1 Ballardine FC
North Dubstep 3-1 Peregrine
Ringway 1-0 Falston United
The Strongest 0-1 The Hanged Man
Grovebank 1-0 Gridlock Rovers
Gridlock East 1-1 Fenland Albion
Fischer 2-2 Rushe United
Falston Town 0-2 Dartmouth Terriers
Bellamy 1-1 Lackerrun
Pillars of Southfell 0-0 Kommissar
Corby Hubris 1-3 Fully Sick XI
Long Lake 1-0 Mainstream Fist
MATCHDAY 2
Peregrine 1-1 Sutcroft Athletic
Falston United 0-0 Ballardine FC
The Hanged Man 1-1 North Dubstep
Gridlock Rovers 1-0 Ringway
Fenland Albion 0-2 The Strongest
Rushe United 4-0 Grovebank
Dartmouth Terriers 2-0 Gridlock East
Lackerrun 2-3 Fischer
Kommissar 2-1 Falston Town
Fully Sick XI 2-3 Bellamy
Mainstream Fist 2-1 Pillars of Southfell
Long Lake 7-1 Corby Hubris
MATCHDAY 3
Sutcroft Athletic 1-1 Falston United
Peregrine 1-0 The Hanged Man
Ballardine FC 2-1 Gridlock Rovers
North Dubstep 1-0 Fenland Albion
Ringway 1-2 Rushe United
The Strongest 2-0 Dartmouth Terriers
Grovebank 0-1 Lackerrun
Gridlock East 1-3 Kommissar
Fischer 1-4 Fully Sick XI
Falston Town 2-3 Mainstream Fist
Bellamy 0-3 Long Lake
Pillars of Southfell 2-0 Corby Hubris
MATCHDAY 4
The Hanged Man 0-1 Sutcroft Athletic
Gridlock Rovers 1-1 Falston United
Fenland Albion 0-1 Peregrine
Rushe United 4-0 Ballardine FC
Dartmouth Terriers 1-2 North Dubstep
Lackerrun 1-2 Ringway
Kommissar 1-1 The Strongest
Fully Sick XI 4-0 Grovebank
Mainstream Fist 2-1 Gridlock East
Long Lake 2-0 Fischer
Corby Hubris 0-1 Falston Town
Pillars of Southfell 2-0 Bellamy
MATCHDAY 5
Sutcroft Athletic 1-1 Gridlock Rovers
The Hanged Man 0-1 Fenland Albion
Falston United 1-1 Rushe United
Peregrine 0-2 Dartmouth Terriers
Ballardine FC 4-1 Lackerrun
North Dubstep 2-1 Kommissar
Ringway 0-0 Fully Sick XI
The Strongest 1-0 Mainstream Fist
Grovebank 0-1 Long Lake
Gridlock East 1-0 Corby Hubris
Fischer 0-2 Pillars of Southfell
Falston Town 0-1 Bellamy
MATCHDAY 6
Fenland Albion 0-0 Sutcroft Athletic
Rushe United 1-1 Gridlock Rovers
Dartmouth Terriers 1-1 The Hanged Man
Lackerrun 1-2 Falston United
Kommissar 2-1 Peregrine
Fully Sick XI 2-2 Ballardine FC
Mainstream Fist 1-1 North Dubstep
Long Lake 2-0 Ringway
Corby Hubris 2-6 The Strongest
Pillars of Southfell 2-1 Grovebank
Bellamy 1-1 Gridlock East
Falston Town 2-0 Fischer
MATCHDAY 7
Sutcroft Athletic 2-1 Rushe United
Fenland Albion 0-4 Dartmouth Terriers
Gridlock Rovers 3-0 Lackerrun
The Hanged Man 2-1 Kommissar
Falston United 1-1 Fully Sick XI
Peregrine 0-1 Mainstream Fist
Ballardine FC 1-1 Long Lake
North Dubstep 0-0 Corby Hubris
Ringway 0-0 Pillars of Southfell
The Strongest 2-0 Bellamy
Grovebank 0-3 Falston Town
Gridlock East 0-1 Fischer
MATCHDAY 8
Dartmouth Terriers 0-0 Sutcroft Athletic
Lackerrun 1-4 Rushe United
Kommissar 1-1 Fenland Albion
Fully Sick XI 0-0 Gridlock Rovers
Mainstream Fist 0-2 The Hanged Man
Long Lake 0-0 Falston United
Corby Hubris 2-1 Peregrine
Pillars of Southfell 1-0 Ballardine FC
Bellamy 0-1 North Dubstep
Falston Town 0-1 Ringway
Fischer 1-2 The Strongest
Gridlock East 1-0 Grovebank
MATCHDAY 9
Sutcroft Athletic 3-2 Lackerrun
Dartmouth Terriers 2-1 Kommissar
Rushe United 1-0 Fully Sick XI
Fenland Albion 0-2 Mainstream Fist
Gridlock Rovers 0-1 Long Lake
The Hanged Man 3-0 Corby Hubris
Falston United 2-0 Pillars of Southfell
Peregrine 1-0 Bellamy
Ballardine FC 0-6 Falston Town
North Dubstep 2-0 Fischer
Ringway 0-1 Gridlock East
The Strongest 2-1 Grovebank
MATCHDAY 10
Kommissar 5-0 Sutcroft Athletic
Fully Sick XI 3-3 Lackerrun
Mainstream Fist 3-4 Dartmouth Terriers
Long Lake 2-2 Rushe United
Corby Hubris 0-2 Fenland Albion
Pillars of Southfell 3-1 Gridlock Rovers
Bellamy 1-1 The Hanged Man
Falston Town 1-0 Falston United
Fischer 1-0 Peregrine
Gridlock East 1-1 Ballardine FC
Grovebank 0-3 North Dubstep
The Strongest 2-0 Ringway
MATCHDAY 11
Sutcroft Athletic 0-1 Fully Sick XI
Kommissar 0-1 Mainstream Fist
Lackerrun 0-3 Long Lake
Dartmouth Terriers 3-2 Corby Hubris
Rushe United 1-1 Pillars of Southfell
Fenland Albion 1-0 Bellamy
Gridlock Rovers 1-1 Falston Town
The Hanged Man 1-1 Fischer
Falston United 3-0 Gridlock East
Peregrine 1-2 Grovebank
Ballardine FC 2-4 The Strongest
North Dubstep 1-0 Ringway
MATCHDAY 12
Mainstream Fist 1-2 Sutcroft Athletic
Long Lake 3-1 Fully Sick XI
Corby Hubris 3-2 Kommissar
Pillars of Southfell 3-0 Lackerrun
Bellamy 0-2 Dartmouth Terriers
Falston Town 1-2 Rushe United
Fischer 1-1 Fenland Albion
Gridlock East 1-0 Gridlock Rovers
Grovebank 0-1 The Hanged Man
The Strongest 3-1 Falston United
Ringway 1-4 Peregrine
North Dubstep 0-0 Ballardine FC
MATCHDAY 1
Harrington 1-1 Franchise FC
Gonen's Bridge 2-0 Courser
Tryst Athletic 0-1 Camwell Road
Norton Road 1-0 Vermillion Spite
Ramsay 1-0 Nay Town
Mapleford 0-2 Gridlock
Alliance Barossia 0-0 Forge Carpenters
FC Seierstad 2-1 Sirencall FC
Swag Hill Rovers 5-3 Corinthians No Longer
Gosforth Swans 1-1 Boltcroft Thorns
MATCHDAY 2
Courser 0-3 Harrington
Camwell Road 0-1 Franchise FC
Vermillion Spite 0-0 Gonen's Bridge
Nay Town 1-1 Tryst Athletic
Gridlock 0-2 Norton Road
Forge Carpenters 3-0 Ramsay
Sirencall FC 1-2 Mapleford
Corinthians No Longer 1-2 Alliance Barossia
Boltcroft Thorns 1-4 FC Seierstad
Gosforth Swans 1-4 Swag Hill Rovers
MATCHDAY 3
Harrington 2-0 Camwell Road
Courser 2-1 Vermillion Spite
Franchise FC 1-1 Nay Town
Gonen's Bridge 1-1 Gridlock
Tryst Athletic 0-1 Forge Carpenters
Norton Road 2-0 Sirencall FC
Ramsay 0-2 Corinthians No Longer
Mapleford 1-1 Boltcroft Thorns
Alliance Barossia 2-0 Gosforth Swans
FC Seierstad 4-1 Swag Hill Rovers
MATCHDAY 4
Vermillion Spite 2-1 Harrington
Nay Town 2-1 Camwell Road
Gridlock 1-0 Courser
Forge Carpenters 2-0 Franchise FC
Sirencall FC 0-1 Gonen's Bridge
Corinthians No Longer 4-1 Tryst Athletic
Boltcroft Thorns 1-1 Norton Road
Gosforth Swans 4-2 Ramsay
Swag Hill Rovers 3-2 Mapleford
FC Seierstad 0-1 Alliance Barossia
MATCHDAY 5
Harrington 1-1 Nay Town
Vermillion Spite 1-5 Gridlock
Camwell Road 0-3 Forge Carpenters
Courser 1-1 Sirencall FC
Franchise FC 3-1 Corinthians No Longer
Gonen's Bridge 0-0 Boltcroft Thorns
Tryst Athletic 2-2 Gosforth Swans
Norton Road 3-1 Swag Hill Rovers
Ramsay 2-1 FC Seierstad
Mapleford 2-1 Alliance Barossia
MATCHDAY 6
Gridlock 1-1 Harrington
Forge Carpenters 0-1 Nay Town
Sirencall FC 0-0 Vermillion Spite
Corinthians No Longer 2-3 Camwell Road
Boltcroft Thorns 5-3 Courser
Gosforth Swans 1-4 Franchise FC
Swag Hill Rovers 1-0 Gonen's Bridge
FC Seierstad 0-2 Tryst Athletic
Alliance Barossia 2-0 Norton Road
Mapleford 2-0 Ramsay
MATCHDAY 7
Harrington 1-2 Forge Carpenters
Gridlock 2-3 Sirencall FC
Nay Town 0-0 Corinthians No Longer
Vermillion Spite 2-5 Boltcroft Thorns
Camwell Road 0-1 Gosforth Swans
Courser 4-4 Swag Hill Rovers
Franchise FC 3-0 FC Seierstad
Gonen's Bridge 0-3 Alliance Barossia
Tryst Athletic 0-2 Mapleford
Norton Road 1-3 Ramsay
MATCHDAY 8
Sirencall FC 2-1 Harrington
Corinthians No Longer 0-0 Forge Carpenters
Boltcroft Thorns 1-3 Gridlock
Gosforth Swans 2-3 Nay Town
Swag Hill Rovers 1-1 Vermillion Spite
FC Seierstad 5-0 Camwell Road
Alliance Barossia 2-1 Courser
Mapleford 2-3 Franchise FC
Ramsay 0-3 Gonen's Bridge
Norton Road 2-1 Tryst Athletic
MATCHDAY 9
Harrington 2-1 Corinthians No Longer
Sirencall FC 1-2 Boltcroft Thorns
Forge Carpenters 2-0 Gosforth Swans
Gridlock 1-0 Swag Hill Rovers
Nay Town 0-2 FC Seierstad
Vermillion Spite 2-2 Alliance Barossia
Camwell Road 2-2 Mapleford
Courser 2-0 Ramsay
Franchise FC 4-1 Norton Road
Gonen's Bridge 4-0 Tryst Athletic
MATCHDAY 10
Boltcroft Thorns 2-0 Harrington
Gosforth Swans 3-1 Corinthians No Longer
Swag Hill Rovers 2-0 Sirencall FC
FC Seierstad 1-0 Forge Carpenters
Alliance Barossia 0-1 Gridlock
Mapleford 3-0 Nay Town
Ramsay 2-1 Vermillion Spite
Norton Road 0-1 Camwell Road
Tryst Athletic 1-0 Courser
Gonen's Bridge 3-0 Franchise FC
MATCHDAY 11
Harrington 5-1 Gosforth Swans
Boltcroft Thorns 4-1 Swag Hill Rovers
Corinthians No Longer 2-4 FC Seierstad
Sirencall FC 1-2 Alliance Barossia
Forge Carpenters 1-2 Mapleford
Gridlock 3-0 Ramsay
Nay Town 2-1 Norton Road
Vermillion Spite 1-1 Tryst Athletic
Camwell Road 0-3 Gonen's Bridge
Courser 3-2 Franchise FC
MATCHDAY 12
Swag Hill Rovers 1-2 Harrington
FC Seierstad 1-0 Gosforth Swans
Alliance Barossia 1-0 Boltcroft Thorns
Mapleford 4-2 Corinthians No Longer
Ramsay 1-1 Sirencall FC
Norton Road 0-1 Forge Carpenters
Tryst Athletic 2-1 Gridlock
Gonen's Bridge 2-0 Nay Town
Franchise FC 0-1 Vermillion Spite
Courser 3-1 Camwell Road
MATCHDAY 1
Sandrock 0-3 Rochford Pilgrims
West End 1-2 Bodkin Road
Rookwall 1-1 Dubstep Rangers
Violence Tigers 1-3 Blaze
Lazuli Diamonds 2-2 Celebryant FC
Norpike 0-1 Masculine Town
Twelvetrees 4-1 Stamper Road
Clay Terrace 1-0 South Brill
Hartford Glade 0-1 Downsparrow
Brunyard FC 2-2 Coral Bay
MATCHDAY 2
Bodkin Road 1-1 Sandrock
Dubstep Rangers 2-1 Rochford Pilgrims
Blaze 3-1 West End
Celebryant FC 1-0 Rookwall
Masculine Town 1-2 Violence Tigers
Stamper Road 1-2 Lazuli Diamonds
South Brill 3-0 Norpike
Downsparrow 1-0 Twelvetrees
Coral Bay 1-1 Clay Terrace
Brunyard FC 1-0 Hartford Glade
MATCHDAY 3
Sandrock 1-1 Dubstep Rangers
Bodkin Road 2-2 Blaze
Rochford Pilgrims 8-1 Celebryant FC
West End 3-4 Masculine Town
Rookwall 1-0 Stamper Road
Violence Tigers 0-2 South Brill
Lazuli Diamonds 1-0 Downsparrow
Norpike 0-1 Coral Bay
Twelvetrees 0-3 Brunyard FC
Clay Terrace 2-1 Hartford Glade
MATCHDAY 4
Blaze 3-0 Sandrock
Celebryant FC 1-2 Dubstep Rangers
Masculine Town 0-2 Bodkin Road
Stamper Road 1-4 Rochford Pilgrims
South Brill 2-1 West End
Downsparrow 0-3 Rookwall
Coral Bay 0-0 Violence Tigers
Brunyard FC 1-4 Lazuli Diamonds
Hartford Glade 2-1 Norpike
Clay Terrace 0-2 Twelvetrees
MATCHDAY 5
Sandrock 2-2 Celebryant FC
Blaze 2-0 Masculine Town
Dubstep Rangers 1-1 Stamper Road
Bodkin Road 1-0 South Brill
Rochford Pilgrims 0-1 Downsparrow
West End 0-0 Coral Bay
Rookwall 1-1 Brunyard FC
Violence Tigers 1-3 Hartford Glade
Lazuli Diamonds 1-0 Clay Terrace
Norpike 0-0 Twelvetrees
MATCHDAY 6
Masculine Town 5-0 Sandrock
Stamper Road 5-0 Celebryant FC
South Brill 2-2 Blaze
Downsparrow 0-3 Dubstep Rangers
Coral Bay 1-0 Bodkin Road
Brunyard FC 0-3 Rochford Pilgrims
Hartford Glade 1-2 West End
Clay Terrace 0-1 Rookwall
Twelvetrees 1-1 Violence Tigers
Norpike 3-0 Lazuli Diamonds
MATCHDAY 7
Sandrock 1-1 Stamper Road
Masculine Town 1-2 South Brill
Celebryant FC 1-1 Downsparrow
Blaze 1-2 Coral Bay
Dubstep Rangers 1-4 Brunyard FC
Bodkin Road 1-0 Hartford Glade
Rochford Pilgrims 3-0 Clay Terrace
West End 0-0 Twelvetrees
Rookwall 2-0 Norpike
Violence Tigers 0-3 Lazuli Diamonds
MATCHDAY 8
South Brill 0-1 Sandrock
Downsparrow 3-2 Stamper Road
Coral Bay 1-2 Masculine Town
Brunyard FC 2-1 Celebryant FC
Hartford Glade 2-1 Blaze
Clay Terrace 0-1 Dubstep Rangers
Twelvetrees 0-1 Bodkin Road
Norpike 5-2 Rochford Pilgrims
Lazuli Diamonds 4-0 West End
Violence Tigers 1-4 Rookwall
MATCHDAY 9
Sandrock 0-0 Downsparrow
South Brill 1-1 Coral Bay
Stamper Road 0-3 Brunyard FC
Masculine Town 0-1 Hartford Glade
Celebryant FC 3-0 Clay Terrace
Blaze 3-0 Twelvetrees
Dubstep Rangers 2-0 Norpike
Bodkin Road 1-1 Lazuli Diamonds
Rochford Pilgrims 1-0 Violence Tigers
West End 2-2 Rookwall
MATCHDAY 10
Coral Bay 2-0 Sandrock
Brunyard FC 1-1 Downsparrow
Hartford Glade 1-2 South Brill
Clay Terrace 0-1 Stamper Road
Twelvetrees 2-1 Masculine Town
Norpike 2-0 Celebryant FC
Lazuli Diamonds 3-0 Blaze
Violence Tigers 1-0 Dubstep Rangers
Rookwall 1-0 Bodkin Road
West End 0-3 Rochford Pilgrims
MATCHDAY 11
Sandrock 0-3 Brunyard FC
Coral Bay 4-2 Hartford Glade
Downsparrow 0-0 Clay Terrace
South Brill 1-2 Twelvetrees
Stamper Road 0-1 Norpike
Masculine Town 0-0 Lazuli Diamonds
Celebryant FC 2-1 Violence Tigers
Blaze 1-3 Rookwall
Dubstep Rangers 1-1 West End
Bodkin Road 1-1 Rochford Pilgrims
MATCHDAY 12
Hartford Glade 1-0 Sandrock
Clay Terrace 2-2 Brunyard FC
Twelvetrees 0-2 Coral Bay
Norpike 0-2 Downsparrow
Lazuli Diamonds 1-1 South Brill
Violence Tigers 2-2 Stamper Road
Rookwall 1-0 Masculine Town
West End 0-2 Celebryant FC
Rochford Pilgrims 1-2 Blaze
Bodkin Road 2-2 Dubstep Rangers

PREMIERSHIP
Pos Team                      P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Crisisbless 12 9 1 2 33 15 +18 28
2 Starling 12 7 5 0 25 7 +18 26
3 Sabrefell Athletic 12 8 2 2 28 13 +15 26
4 Brinemouth 12 8 1 3 22 13 +9 25
5 Parrhesia United 12 7 2 3 18 16 +2 23
6 Violence Chariots 12 7 1 4 30 21 +9 22
7 AFC Treason 12 7 1 4 26 17 +9 22
8 Sabrefell Moths 12 6 2 4 35 17 +18 20
9 Coret Hawks 12 6 2 4 18 12 +6 20
10 Chenoworth Harriers 12 6 2 4 23 19 +4 20
11 Brookford Otters 12 5 4 3 22 20 +2 19
12 Vermillion Rage 12 5 3 4 20 22 -2 18
13 North Laithland 12 5 2 5 21 22 -1 17
14 Bishop 12 4 3 5 13 12 +1 15
15 Maximum Rovers 12 4 3 5 18 22 -4 15
16 Chatswood 12 4 2 6 15 22 -7 14
17 Newrook City 12 3 3 6 16 24 -8 12
18 Creed United 12 2 5 5 10 17 -7 11
19 Cranequin Wanderers 12 3 2 7 11 19 -8 11
20 Corvette Maulers 12 3 1 8 12 24 -12 10
21 AFC Serpentine 12 2 4 6 16 31 -15 10
22 Maximum City 12 2 3 7 11 22 -11 9
23 Goodfeather FC 12 2 1 9 10 32 -22 7
24 West Brinemouth 12 0 3 9 4 18 -14 3

FIRST DIVISION
Pos Team                          P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Raven River 12 8 2 2 20 6 +14 26
2 Armstrong 12 7 4 1 16 8 +8 25
3 Belgrave 12 6 4 2 27 15 +12 22
4 South Laithland 12 7 1 4 21 13 +8 22
5 Morningstar 12 7 1 4 23 17 +6 22
6 Leichhardt 12 6 3 3 11 7 +4 21
7 Vermillion Wanderers 12 6 2 4 21 21 +0 20
8 Crisisbless United 12 5 3 4 23 17 +6 18
9 Sheridan 12 5 3 4 18 16 +2 18
10 North Sabrefell 12 5 2 5 18 15 +3 17
11 Southfell United 12 4 5 3 20 18 +2 17
12 East Laithland Harriers 12 4 4 4 10 14 -4 16
13 Extreme Hills 12 4 3 5 17 17 +0 15
14 Martella Jazz 12 4 3 5 16 16 +0 15
15 Cranequin City 12 4 3 5 12 15 -3 15
16 Iron City 12 4 3 5 7 10 -3 15
17 Diamondqueen 12 3 5 4 9 11 -2 14
18 Coret Rovers 12 3 5 4 14 20 -6 14
19 Locksley 12 3 4 5 18 22 -4 13
20 Cypher Town 12 4 1 7 12 17 -5 13
21 Ritter Town 12 3 3 6 15 17 -2 12
22 Rochford 12 3 3 6 11 20 -9 12
23 Riverkey 12 2 3 7 9 24 -15 9
24 AFC Shale 12 1 2 9 7 19 -12 5

SECOND DIVISION
Pos Team                        P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Greygate 12 9 2 1 18 6 +12 29
2 Hackett 12 8 2 2 21 10 +11 26
3 Brindleton 12 8 1 3 16 8 +8 25
4 Mantlegrove 12 5 7 0 21 10 +11 22
5 Crossroads Town 12 6 4 2 19 11 +8 22
6 Sutcroft 12 6 4 2 16 9 +7 22
7 Chenoworth Rovers 12 6 3 3 15 13 +2 21
8 Crisisbless Athletic 12 6 2 4 17 10 +7 20
9 Kensey Town 12 5 4 3 16 9 +7 19
10 Stonegrave 12 5 4 3 13 9 +4 19
11 AFC Corvistone 12 5 2 5 27 18 +9 17
12 Project +90 12 4 5 3 14 12 +2 17
13 Southriver 12 4 4 4 13 14 -1 16
14 Iberia Chenoworth 12 5 1 6 26 28 -2 16
15 Rhagant Schadenfreude 12 4 3 5 9 7 +2 15
16 Dross Rovers 12 4 3 5 12 12 +0 15
17 Iron United 12 5 0 7 14 16 -2 15
18 South Parrhesia 12 4 2 6 15 18 -3 14
19 Boleyn Town 12 4 2 6 12 21 -9 14
20 West Hook 12 2 6 4 10 13 -3 12
21 Strephonage 12 3 2 7 10 21 -11 11
22 Brookway Town 12 1 2 9 9 35 -26 5
23 Ox River United 12 0 3 9 5 20 -15 3
24 Senway Town 12 0 2 10 2 20 -18 2

THIRD DIVISION
Pos Team                       P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 The Strongest 12 10 1 1 27 9 +18 31
2 Long Lake 12 9 3 0 26 5 +21 30
3 North Dubstep 12 8 4 0 17 5 +12 28
4 Dartmouth Terriers 12 8 2 2 23 11 +12 26
5 Pillars of Southfell 12 7 3 2 17 7 +10 24
6 Rushe United 12 6 5 1 25 12 +13 23
7 Sutcroft Athletic 12 5 5 2 13 14 -1 20
8 The Hanged Man 12 5 4 3 13 8 +5 19
9 Mainstream Fist 12 6 1 5 16 15 +1 19
10 Fully Sick XI 12 4 5 3 21 15 +6 17
11 Falston Town 12 5 1 6 18 12 +6 16
12 Kommissar 12 4 3 5 19 15 +4 15
13 Falston United 12 3 6 3 12 10 +2 15
14 Gridlock East 12 4 3 5 9 14 -5 15
15 Peregrine 12 4 1 7 12 15 -3 13
16 Fenland Albion 12 3 4 5 7 13 -6 13
17 Fischer 12 3 3 6 11 20 -9 12
18 Gridlock Rovers 12 2 5 5 10 12 -2 11
19 Ringway 12 3 2 7 6 14 -8 11
20 Ballardine FC 12 2 5 5 13 23 -10 11
21 Bellamy 12 2 3 7 7 17 -10 9
22 Corby Hubris 12 2 1 9 11 31 -20 7
23 Grovebank 12 2 0 10 5 23 -18 6
24 Lackerrun 12 1 2 9 13 31 -18 5

CONFERENCE WEST
Pos Team                        P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Alliance Barossia 12 8 2 2 18 8 +10 26
2 Gonen's Bridge 12 7 3 2 19 5 +14 24
3 FC Seierstad 12 8 0 4 24 13 +11 24
4 Gridlock 12 7 2 3 21 11 +10 23
5 Forge Carpenters 12 7 2 3 15 5 +10 23
6 Mapleford 12 7 2 3 24 16 +8 23
7 Franchise FC 12 6 2 4 22 16 +6 20
8 Boltcroft Thorns 12 5 4 3 23 18 +5 19
9 Harrington 12 5 3 4 20 14 +6 18
10 Swag Hill Rovers 12 5 2 5 24 25 -1 17
11 Norton Road 12 5 1 6 14 16 -2 16
12 Nay Town 12 4 4 4 11 15 -4 16
13 Courser 12 4 2 6 19 23 -4 14
14 Ramsay 12 4 1 7 11 23 -12 13
15 Tryst Athletic 12 3 3 6 11 19 -8 12
16 Vermillion Spite 12 2 5 5 12 20 -8 11
17 Gosforth Swans 12 3 2 7 16 27 -11 11
18 Camwell Road 12 3 1 8 9 24 -15 10
19 Sirencall FC 12 2 3 7 11 18 -7 9
20 Corinthians No Longer 12 2 2 8 19 27 -8 8

CONFERENCE EAST
Pos Team                    P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Rookwall 12 8 3 1 20 7 +13 27
2 Lazuli Diamonds 12 7 4 1 22 9 +13 25
3 Coral Bay 12 6 5 1 17 9 +8 23
4 Rochford Pilgrims 12 7 1 4 30 13 +17 22
5 Brunyard FC 12 6 4 2 23 15 +8 22
6 Blaze 12 6 2 4 23 17 +6 20
7 Dubstep Rangers 12 5 5 2 17 13 +4 20
8 Bodkin Road 12 5 5 2 14 10 +4 20
9 Downsparrow 12 5 4 3 10 11 -1 19
10 South Brill 12 5 3 4 16 12 +4 18
11 Hartford Glade 12 5 0 7 14 16 -2 15
12 Twelvetrees 12 4 3 5 11 14 -3 15
13 Celebryant FC 12 4 3 5 16 25 -9 15
14 Masculine Town 12 4 1 7 15 16 -1 13
15 Norpike 12 4 1 7 12 15 -3 13
16 Stamper Road 12 2 3 7 15 22 -7 9
17 Clay Terrace 12 2 3 7 6 16 -10 9
18 Violence Tigers 12 2 3 7 10 22 -12 9
19 Sandrock 12 1 5 6 6 22 -16 8
20 West End 12 1 4 7 11 24 -13 7
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Nephara
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Postby Nephara » Tue Jan 10, 2017 1:19 am

Brinemouth 2-2 Coret Hawks
Starling 3-1 Violence Chariots
Brookford Otters 2-2 Vermillion Rage
Creed United 0-2 AFC Treason
Newrook City 2-3 Sabrefell Moths
Parrhesia United 1-3 Sabrefell Athletic
Bishop 4-0 North Laithland
Chenoworth Harriers 0-1 Maximum Rovers
Goodfeather FC 0-1 Maximum City
West Brinemouth 0-5 Crisisbless
Corvette Maulers 5-0 Chatswood
AFC Serpentine 1-3 Cranequin Wanderers

Almuth Coppell might have provided West Brinemouth some miracles last season, but winless in the first 13? She’s axed, and Augustine Houghton (formerly of Newrook City, in a couple of stints) is rushed in to replace her. It was a thoroughly gutless performance all along the pitch as Crisisbless’ B-listers crushed them 5-0. They aren’t alone! Chatswood are… appalling away, and simply have no answers for the Maulers who rake them against the coals 5-0 as well, Nikolaidis putting in his best performance of the season so far. Bishop have a story as well. North Laithland are obliterated 4-0 after leaving themselves so open time and again, though Rui Mokanga’s patchy form in front of goal continues to hinder them.

Violence Chariots 1-3 Brinemouth
Vermillion Rage 3-1 Coret Hawks
AFC Treason 2-1 Starling
Sabrefell Moths 3-1 Brookford Otters
Sabrefell Athletic 1-3 Creed United
North Laithland 1-1 Newrook City
Maximum Rovers 0-2 Parrhesia United
Maximum City 1-1 Bishop
Crisisbless 2-0 Chenoworth Harriers
Chatswood 2-0 Goodfeather FC
Cranequin Wanderers 0-1 West Brinemouth
AFC Serpentine 2-0 Corvette Maulers

Treason against Starling, defending champions against current leaders… and it’s the latter who get themselves ahead in the sixth minute as (NARRATIVE KLAXON) Claudia Cautcher lashes one in off the inside of the post. She almost doubles it, played one-on-one not long afterwards but Fletcher makes his presence felt and that seems to be the turning point as the Stags start to fight back, win back some ground. Starling are on the ropes and just as they start to recover leading into the second half… a corner from Vesper, a heroic leap and downward header from Peter Svensson, 1-1. The Stags capitalise on the momentum in the second half and Vedran Tarashaj’s powerful strike is a deserved winner, the Passerines left beaten at last. And on the other side of the spectrum, West Brinemouth get their first win of the season. Much less to talk about. Houghton narrows the team into a midfield diamond, throws on Hurriston to give Weiler some help up front, throws Pembroke into a holding midfield role and gives young blood in Lockwood and Cattalock a chance. They do look a lot better, but it’s ultimately one of the players dropped who makes the difference here. Bismarck’s pass is poor, cut out by Capulet who immediately lays a wonderful forward ball on for Kunigunde Almerich, thrown on for Weiler up front just three minutes prior, to race beyond the flatfooted Cranequin defence and lash a powerful left-footed drive past Castelen.

Myrmidon 1-1 AFC Treason
Brinemouth 3-1 KT Moreazerua

Myrmidon chalk up an early lead through marquee man Inzazi Dvulu, freshly picked up from Trothwands, but Treason dominate the second half and look good value for an overdue goal. They only get it in the 86th, however, and the substitute who scored it, Saskia Kantaroff, looks as much relieved as elated. Brinemouth have it far easier against Mozi, though, pumping three goals past the creaking limbs of Llorente. They do, however, suffer the ignominy of conceding a header to Anderson Bloody Sandro, one of the worst Premiership strikers in living memory, inexplicably wearing the ‘01’ [sic] shirt. It’s an 87th-minute consolation, but he runs the length of the away fans whipping his shirt over his head and waving it about, inadvertently hitting a ballboy in the process. Ahhh, Sandro...

Creed United 1-1 Mliona-Lpaka
Atletico Nacional 4-0 Starling
Brookford Otters 2-0 Thurmond City
Sabrefell Athletic 1-2 Navel Sharks

It has to be said that Creed look a lot better in international tournaments than domestically, but they’ll still be incandescent at the manner of the equaliser - inexperienced Ash Reisman accidentally directing a defensive header past his own goalkeeper. Brookford, at least manage a straightforward home win over Thurmond, the sure finishing of Nikita Loeher making the difference. Athletic are poor against Navel, and it’s an uncharacteristically weak performacne that puts the Sharks in a strong position going forward. And, uh, that’s it for the Globe Cup. Starling match? What Starling match? Move along.

Sabrefell Moths 1-1 Alissar Phoenix

A few familiar faces as an Alissar side containing three Premiership veterans holds off the Moths in Nephara. Tanith Sutcliff is the player of the match - why the hell did Goodfeather release her again? - shutting Meier down, while Portia Malleon rattles the crossbar in the third minute. Ultimately, it’s a grass-cutter from Reiss Sinclair-Jones that puts the Phoenix in front, but within the minute the hosts equalise through Cardinal Belgrade spinning and twirling into space before curling one into the top corner. It sets the stage for a finely-poised away tie.

Brinemouth 0-0 Vermillion Rage
Violence Chariots 3-4 AFC Treason
Coret Hawks 0-2 Sabrefell Moths
Starling 1-1 Sabrefell Athletic
Brookford Otters 1-0 North Laithland
Creed United 2-1 Maximum Rovers
Newrook City 4-1 Maximum City
Parrhesia United 2-2 Crisisbless
Bishop 2-0 Chatswood
Chenoworth Harriers 1-1 Cranequin Wanderers
Goodfeather FC 3-3 AFC Serpentine
West Brinemouth 0-0 Corvette Maulers

Against a mediocre Newrook City, Maximum City would feel that they could really attack the game. Instead, they went down 2-0 in the first five minutes and, not long after Corvell had at least put one back, Axelsson went two studs into June Connolly’s knees, ending his team’s chances, his own game and Connolly’s season. Fenwick coolly dispatched the penalty and Maladict Farrell, coming off the bench for Connolly, rifled home his first senior goal in injury time. West Brinemouth, meanwhile, manage a scoreless draw as the Maulers just can’t find their final ball - and Lockwood’s strong showing between the posts doesn’t hurt, either. Goodfeather FC’s defence continues to let them down, and they’d been doing so well, too! Schanzer, Coxswain and plucky rightback Dukakis had put them 3-1 up in the 85th minute, but a late brace from Carrie Mason salvages a point for the Dragons and deepens the Quakers’ rut. At the top of the table, meanwhile, a 1-1 draw between Starling and Athletic isn’t the most thrilling, but it does let Treason steal a march with the odd goal in seven taken in the 86th minute by flying substitute Sabrine Portsgate.

Cypher Town 2-1 Fully Sick XI
Iron City 3-1 Ballardine FC
Stonegrave 2-1 Crossroads Town
Long Lake 0-1 AFC Shale
Project +90 1-1 Blaze (2-1 AET)
Senway Town 0-1 Leichhardt
Diamondqueen 3-4 Iberia Chenoworth
Southriver 1-1 Sutcroft (1-1 AET, 3-4 PKs)
Downsparrow 2-3 Chenoworth Rovers
Nay Town 0-3 Crisisbless Athletic
FC Seierstad 0-4 The Strongest
Kensey Town 2-2 Kommissar (3-2 AET)
Martella Jazz 2-1 Brindleton
Pillars of Southfell 1-0 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Coral Bay 0-2 Sutcroft Athletic
Violence Tigers 1-2 Masculine Town
South Parrhesia 1-1 Fenland Albion (2-1 AET)
Grovebank 3-1 Bodkin Road
South Laithland 2-1 Strephonage
Belgrave 8-1 The Hanged Man
Rushe United 0-0 AFC Corvistone (0-1 AET)
Ritter Town 1-1 Crisisbless United (2-1 AET)
Mainstream Fist 5-1 Riverkey
Rochford 1-1 Vermillion Wanderers (1-1 AET, 3-2 PKs)
Morningstar 4-1 Mantlegrove
Sheridan 2-1 Coret Rovers
Locksley 3-2 Falston Town
Dartmouth Terriers 0-1 Hackett
Extreme Hills 5-0 Dubstep Rangers
Armstrong 0-0 Raven River (0-1 AET)
Brookway Town 1-4 East Laithland Harriers
Forge Carpenters 8-1 Corinthians No Longer
Ox River United 4-0 Alliance Barossia
Greygate 1-1 Boleyn Town (1-2 AET)
Dross Rovers 7-2 Bellamy
Cranequin City 1-0 West Hook
Ringway 0-1 Lackerrun
Courser 1-5 Southfell United
Gridlock East 2-3 North Sabrefell
Iron United 1-1 Harrington (2-1 AET)

The Second Round is traditionally the NFA Cup’s craziest - inevitably some semi-professionals leak through the First, just in time to be cut down to size by hardened second-tier sides, a league that would make UICA’s top 32 in its own right. And there’s plenty of big mismatches, too! Eight-goal Belgrave beat down the eight-man Hanged Man from two tiers below, while bizarrely the Forge Carpenters, once a name vaguely of note, utterly trashed the ex-Corinthians by the same 8-1 scoreline. Dubstep Rangers, another fallen giant, were conclusively broken apart 5-0 by Extreme Hills - back when the Rangers were in the Premiership, Hills were in the Conference! Dross Rovers’ 7-2 was another match notable for the fact that they won four penalties, and even had time to miss one of them. No real big upsets - but most eyes are on Armstrong, as they face Raven River, the two sides who look almost certain to be promoted to the Premiership next season. Unfortunately for all those neutrals it’s a very dull match, ultimately settled by Chris Whitehawk’s far-post header in extra time - with all credit to Leona Catterick for providing the cross.

Alissar Phoenix 4-3 Sabrefell Moths
Alissar Phoenix win 5-4 on aggregate.

Well, it’s a breathless, energetic match, and the Moths are off to a flying start despite the dedicated home crowd. Johnson enjoyed a productive homecoming and It was great! But then the second half hit and, well… it just did not go to plan at all. Except for the newly-promoted Phoenix, who are probably feeling pretty good about the whole thing. They progress and the Moths crash out.

AFC Treason 3-0 Brinemouth
Sabrefell Moths 1-1 Vermillion Rage
Sabrefell Athletic 4-3 Violence Chariots
North Laithland 1-3 Coret Hawks
Maximum Rovers 1-2 Starling
Maximum City 3-3 Brookford Otters
Crisisbless 0-1 Creed United
Chatswood 2-0 Newrook City
Cranequin Wanderers 0-3 Parrhesia United
AFC Serpentine 1-1 Bishop
Corvette Maulers 4-3 Chenoworth Harriers
West Brinemouth 1-1 Goodfeather FC

So there’s the fixtures everyone’s been waiting for… and, yes, a dull 1-1 draw between the worst two teams in the- oh, you meant Treason/Brinemouth? And the Eastern Sabrefell derby? Ohhh. Well, not too much to say about the first, really. Brinemouth are incredibly not good at all, and have no answer to even the metaphysical concept of Roddy Fraser, let alone the real deal who notches up a goal and assist. Tarashaj and Labonne, outnumbered in the centre of the park, somehow manage to dominate regardless and Brinemouth’s flanks are overrun, and Vesper and Vyntra finish the deal. Meanwhile, the Chariots go straight for the throat of Athletic, and an early couple of goals from Machairas and Voeller ratchets up the pressure. But Athletic, homegrown goalkeeper Lind Pressinger leading by example with a few flying saves, holds firm until half-time and then bites back. Hard. They pull two back before a diving header from Linden Lucassen puts them ahead and though some sloppy defending from Robyn Lauren allows Siorrha’Asione to smash home an equaliser it never really feels like they’ve turned the corner, and it’s confirmed in injury time - the substitute Oehman with a perfect corner, Edelgrau stranded in no-man’s land, Moravec’s there to smash home a decisive header.

AFC Treason 0-1 Myrmidon
KT Moreazerua 2-0 Brinemouth

A terrible week for Nephara. The Stags are outplayed on their home turf and deserve their eventual defeat. Worse still, FUCKING SANDRO scores two goals against Brinemouth, meaning that he’s now scored more goals over these two matches than he did in his entire Premiership season. He dabs. Of course he fucking dabs.

Mliona-Lpaka 0-1 Creed United
Starling 2-0 Atletico Nacional
Thurmond City 4-1 Brookford Otters
Navel Sharks 1-4 Sabrefell Athletic

Three reverses - Creed United are the only team not to take exactly three points from their rivals. They hold back, put out a dour defensive performance and eventually snatch the result when Stavanger mashes home a header late on. Starling get some revenge after the Match That Never Happened, thanks to Cautcher’s finishing and Nicola Costello holding court in the centre of the park, but let’s just skim right over Thurmond beating the shit out of the Otters and focus on Athletic, and a dominant victory over the Sharks. Bereveskos, who’d looked a little out of her depth abroad, finally clicks into form. With three assists. Which is pretty good.

Brinemouth 1-2 Sabrefell Moths
AFC Treason 1-0 Sabrefell Athletic
Vermillion Rage 3-1 North Laithland
Violence Chariots 3-1 Maximum Rovers
Coret Hawks 3-3 Maximum City
Starling 3-0 Crisisbless
Brookford Otters 4-1 Chatswood
Creed United 2-0 Cranequin Wanderers
Newrook City 1-0 AFC Serpentine
Parrhesia United 1-1 Corvette Maulers
Bishop 1-1 West Brinemouth
Chenoworth Harriers 0-2 Goodfeather FC

Okay. It’s happened. Goodfeather FC have kept a clean sheet - not quite their first of the season but by God does it feel that way. They seem to hit upon a decent formula, Candelario now anchoring the midfield, Forster doing okay between the posts, Leitner impressing in midfield and Lynwood and Farrakhan providing a goal apiece. Why Farrakhan and not Schanzer? A hamstring injury for the workhorse striker, exactly not what they needed. But the goals are enough to take them past the Harriers, at any rate. Starling annihilate Crisisbless, and Keira Andisori finally puts in a truly decisive performance as she dances through the Heelers’ supposedly tight defence - one goal with each foot and even when she does miskick when the ball falls to her in the box, the substitute Westerlow steals inside to hammer it past Marciak anyway. The other high-profile fixtures are less exciting - a tense match between Treason and Athletic is won when Svensson flicks home a corner while Brinemouth vs. the Moths is settled by a rare goalkeeping error from Matt Vintner, who dwells on the ball long enough for substitute forward Jaeger to chase him down, raise a boot and rebound the ball into the net with her face.

Sabrefell Athletic 4-1 Brinemouth
North Laithland 2-3 Sabrefell Moths
Maximum Rovers 0-2 AFC Treason
Maximum City 4-2 Vermillion Rage
Crisisbless 3-0 Violence Chariots
Chatswood 0-2 Coret Hawks
Cranequin Wanderers 0-3 Starling
AFC Serpentine 2-1 Brookford Otters
Corvette Maulers 0-1 Creed United
West Brinemouth 1-0 Newrook City
Goodfeather FC 0-1 Parrhesia United
Chenoworth Harriers 1-1 Bishop

Athletic go to Brinemouth and are not in the mood to fuck around. Even missing Lucassen at a bad time through a calf strain, they can still hurl on Avila Wardenier up front, and the lanky former Diamondqueen striker did not disappoint, scoring a brace and being a handful in general. Brinemouth could not cope, their only answer an admittedly impressive free kick from Candelo. West Brinemouth, incidentally, are strong at the back and beat Newrook thanks to a powerful thumping drive from, that woman again, Kunigunde Almerich. They’re 2-3-0 under Augustine Houghton so far, though survival still looks… like an impressive feat, to say the least. Providence Mitford, at the helm of Maximum City, must have felt brave, desperate or foolish, maybe all three. She sets out to just sort of run aggressively and physically at Vermillion and to her credit it works - sure, there’s the by-now routine horrible defensive error from Napthine to cost them a goal, but the notoriously inconsistent Corvell and the actually good Rosmalen get a brace each to secure a 4-2 win that is kind of unlike them.

AFC Treason 2-0 Somer City and Surrounds
La Nueva Avenida 0-1 Brinemouth

Refreshingly straightforward wins for both sides that puts both sides in decent positions going into the last match. Treason just shut it all down and rely on Roddy Fraser to do the business up front, and, of course, he does. Brinemouth are not playing well, and Stephen Frew knows it. “I played a little more direct today, because it was the best way to look for a win,” which he found when the impressive Danijel Brymora’s speculative cross was headed home by the salmon-esque Scafidis.

Creed United 2-1 Fadroen Flight
Starling 4-2 Arlington Crew
Telecontare 2-0 Brookford Otters
Club Stein-los 3-1 Sabrefell Athletic

The hosts do well in the Globe Cup, as Creed United beat Fadroen thanks largely to the playmaking of Bittner and Starling overpower the Crew. Conversely, Brookford have now lost all their away matches after Telecontare do the job against them. Meanwhile, things go off the rails for Athletic, as the evergreen Pasarga international Oszlar runs the match from midfield and ensures that, at various points, Sarigul has two different tap-ins to convert through a perforated defence. Chloe Rudden sidefoots one back between Csikos’ legs but Club look good value for their third, ultimately won by Dominic Ellis’ inelegant cross/shot hybrid that Pressinger misjudged terribly.

Brinemouth 3-2 North Laithland
Sabrefell Athletic 5-1 Maximum Rovers
Sabrefell Moths 2-1 Maximum City
AFC Treason 2-1 Crisisbless
Vermillion Rage 4-0 Chatswood
Violence Chariots 6-1 Cranequin Wanderers
Coret Hawks 2-2 AFC Serpentine
Starling 2-0 Corvette Maulers
Brookford Otters 0-1 West Brinemouth
Creed United 3-0 Goodfeather FC
Newrook City 2-1 Chenoworth Harriers
Parrhesia United 0-1 Bishop

The Quakers finally sigh and give Andrea Betancourt the heave-ho. She’s had the dressing room lost since almost the season began, and none even lift a finger as Creed clean them out 3-0 with a heavily-rested team. West Brinemouth string together an impressive run of two straight wins, but they absolutely did not deserve this one - Lockwood makes fourteen saves, many of them spectacular, and then auxiliary 35-year old one-footed out-of-position winger Saffron Martin, relocated to attacking midfield and inexplicably quite good at it, thumps home a free kick for her second goal of the season. But there’s a few utter thrashings here - none moreso than Violence Chariots’ 6-1 annihilation of a Cranequin side who just cannot cope with their fast passing, the Rovers being 1-1 at half-time, getting Woodbine sent off and losing 5-1 to Athletic and Vermillion Rage reducing Chatswood to a fine 4-0 paste. At the top end of the table, Crisisbless cling grimly to life with ten men against a determined Treason, Ozaria Gandhi having rifled home an early strike but her brother sent off for annihilating Igrene Cantor in the penalty area, one dispatched flawlessly by Fraser. But it’s all for naught, as in the end it is, yet again, Peter Svensson from, yet again, a crisply-lashed set piece from Vyntra that is headed home dramatically past Marciak. The Cosumar international is making a name for himself as a club legend in the making.

Ox River United 2-2 AFC Shale (2-2 AET, 4-2 PKs)
Iron United 0-3 North Laithland
Stonegrave 3-1 Lackerrun
Locksley 1-2 Leichhardt
South Laithland 4-1 Mainstream Fist
Cranequin City 0-1 Creed United
Raven River 0-0 East Laithland Harriers (0-0 AET, 3-2 PKs)
Sabrefell Athletic 1-0 Violence Chariots
Forge Carpenters 1-1 Hackett (1-1 AET, 1-1 agg, 8-7 PKs)
Brinemouth 2-0 Extreme Hills
Newrook City 3-1 Chenoworth Rovers
Chenoworth Harriers 1-0 Rochford
AFC Treason 0-0 Sutcroft Athletic (0-1 AET)
Maximum City 2-0 South Parrhesia
Crisisbless Athletic 0-1 Maximum Rovers
Vermillion Rage 1-1 Grovebank (4-1 AET)
Chatswood 2-0 Kensey Town
Masculine Town 1-3 Crisisbless
Cranequin Wanderers 6-3 The Strongest
Martella Jazz 3-0 Iron City
Brookford Otters 2-0 Sheridan
Dross Rovers 3-2 Ritter Town
Iberia Chenoworth 1-3 Starling
Cypher Town 1-0 Pillars of Southfell
Sutcroft 0-2 Belgrave
West Brinemouth 1-0 Goodfeather FC
AFC Serpentine 4-2 Boleyn Town
Coret Hawks 1-0 Project +90
Southfell United 2-4 Bishop
Sabrefell Moths 8-0 Morningstar
Parrhesia United 0-2 North Sabrefell
Corvette Maulers 4-0 AFC Corvistone

So yeah, this is it - the part where the Premiership clubs show up. And, oh, good, just what the world needed; another West Brinemouth vs. Goodfeather clash! Both sides rest everyone, some 21-year old from West Brinemouth’s reserves called Shayna Markus scores her first senior goal in her first senior appearance, 1-0 win, let’s move on. What is genuinely impressive is that Forge Carpenters, given a chance to relive the relative glory days (okay, so it’s Hackett, a First Division club… last year) and, thanks to a traditional godawful pitch and a ludicrous 8-7 penalty shootout, secure a lucrative (but probably doomed) away tie at North Laithland next round. That might just save their doomed finances. Reward for the biggest giant-killing, though, must go to Third Division mediocrities Sutcroft Athletic, who hold the fort against the Stags, a heroic effort from goalkeeper Sarah Leatherhead to keep them at bay before Matt Swindon, a sturdy forward in his first year as a full professional, rifles home an extra time winner. Credit’s also due to fellow Third Division side The Strongest, who put three goals past Cranequin Wanderers… just, they leak six the other end. The Corvistone Project is going disastrously in the league - can they do any better in the Cup? Signs (including a clean sheet for Russ Lazaridis and goals from fringe players Plutarch, Rathbone, Neumann and whoever the hell Hedwig Schelin is) point to no. But the Premiership sides do a really good job of not being scalped and generally not drawing one another - along with Goodfeather and Treason, the only other Premiership scalp is a heavily-rested Parrhesia United, beaten well by second/third-tier yo-yo side North Sabrefell. As for Morningstar, who are pressing for promotion and drawn against the Moths? Well, it goes poorly. It’s already 2-0 in the first 40 minutes when, well… ahh, Lopez… he always retaliates. And it’s no exception when Weaver gives him a bit of a kick, as the firebrand striker lashes out and takes his legs from under him. He’s off, and hulking bouncer Arne van Hoof follows after getting into a fight with Rune Haldenstadt. The end result? 8-0. At least Stars can focus on promotion now...

Maximum Rovers 2-0 Brinemouth
Maximum City 2-3 North Laithland
Crisisbless 1-1 Sabrefell Athletic
Chatswood 0-2 Sabrefell Moths
Cranequin Wanderers 2-3 AFC Treason
AFC Serpentine 1-1 Vermillion Rage
Corvette Maulers 1-2 Violence Chariots
West Brinemouth 0-2 Coret Hawks
Goodfeather FC 1-3 Starling
Chenoworth Harriers 1-1 Brookford Otters
Bishop 1-1 Creed United
Parrhesia United 2-1 Newrook City

Maximum Rovers, again benefiting from Senturk’s flying form but no less importantly Hawthorn between the posts, inflict Brinemouth’s fourth defeat from five. 2-0, the final score, as the Dockers had a lot of the ball but just couldn’t do anything with it - Lineker and Jurist were made to look like unstoppable titans in the heart of defence, which they aren’t. West Brinemouth finally lose after four wins and three draws in all (well, both) competions from Houghton’s seven matches, but Coret just have too much for them, both in technique and, the weak point of Houghton’s new model army, width. Carmady’s a crock and Cattalock isn’t very good defensively, so against the lightning pace of Draxler and the weaving runs of Montague? They didn’t stand a chance. But it’s okay, because things don’t really go to plan for any of the other relegation battlers, either - Serpentine probably emerging with the most credit in their bank, continuing to take the fight to Premiership opposition and securing a deserved point against Vermillion. Gareth Hartson’s reclaimed his place in goal of late and, it seems, the break to let him steady his nerves

Hastmead Diamante 1-3 AFC Treason
Brinemouth 4-3 Yuba United

Treason are already basically through, and a Fraser-inspired 3-1 victory over Diamante just confirms this. However, due to the vagaries of head-to-head rulings, they fall back to second despite a far superior goal difference to Myrmidon. Brinemouth need a pulsating 4-3 victory over group winners Yuba United, with Konrad Gosforth having a hand in all four goals, to squeeze through a highly-competitive group as well.

Port Sebastian 0-0 Creed United
Twentytwo Cacti 2-1 Starling
Brookford Otters 1-1 Sonoma Center Panthers
Sabrefell Athletic 4-0 CD FAS

Port Sebastian hold Creed United to a dull scoreless draw in a dead rubber - literally no matter what, Creed were to finish first and Porty second, the Oathmen undefeated in their first UICA tilt. Starling manage to be on the right end of a polarising group - Twentytwo Cacti had five wins and a scoreless draw earlier with Starling, Arlington lost all their matches, and what lifts the Passerines over Nacional and their superior goal difference and head-to-head is, in fact, that 0-0. Brookford have endured a torrid group stage, and have gathered all seven of their points at home - a respectable 1-1 draw with group winner Sonoma Center sees them bow out. Athletic need a win, and by God, they get it. CD FAS fall apart within 19 seconds of kickoff, Rudden ultimately provided with a tap-in, and the Reds never look back. They finish the group in second, with Navel top.

Brinemouth 0-0 Maximum City
Maximum Rovers 2-2 Crisisbless
North Laithland 4-1 Chatswood
Sabrefell Athletic 2-0 Cranequin Wanderers
Sabrefell Moths 1-1 AFC Serpentine
AFC Treason 7-0 Corvette Maulers
Vermillion Rage 3-1 West Brinemouth
Violence Chariots 0-1 Goodfeather FC
Coret Hawks 0-2 Chenoworth Harriers
Starling 4-1 Bishop
Brookford Otters 2-1 Parrhesia United
Creed United 1-2 Newrook City

The Maulers collapse under the pressure in an otherwise fairly unremarkable matchday - Treason just pulverise them, 7-0. Lara Silverstein had been missing through suspension, and while that clearly unsettled the back line, she’s probably feeling fortunate to have missed the fiasco. So, Fraser and Cantor against Rainwall and Schelin, that’s… no contest at all. Lukas Sparr starts out well, and then gets beaten too easily by a long shot from Woodspur and his confidence collapses, as does Corvette’s resistance. Even when it’s already 7-0 and Dany Harper is slipped through the back by Nikolaidis… she ends up tamely shooting down Gideon Fletcher’s throat. Brinemouth, by contrast, can’t even score against Maximum City, though admittedly that owes much to a strong performance from under-fire goalkeeper Jelic.

Crisisbless 1-0 Brinemouth
Chatswood 1-1 Maximum City
Cranequin Wanderers 2-0 Maximum Rovers
AFC Serpentine 2-0 North Laithland
Corvette Maulers 1-1 Sabrefell Athletic
West Brinemouth 2-1 Sabrefell Moths
Goodfeather FC 0-2 AFC Treason
Chenoworth Harriers 2-2 Vermillion Rage
Bishop 2-0 Violence Chariots
Parrhesia United 0-0 Coret Hawks
Newrook City 2-2 Starling
Creed United 1-0 Brookford Otters

Five points from eight games for Brinemouth, and something is deeply, deeply wrong. Crisisbless contain them easily and a single crisp sidefooter from Isaia Urso is enough to see them off, and they never even really leave second gear. The Gulls, meanwhile, get back into gear. They’re holding on against Gerhard Thunder’s Moths, and already the vultures are circling for Reinhard Lockwood as he plays out of his skin on his 21st birthday, and eventually the Moths wear themselves out with their assault waves. That’s when the Gulls strike - Almerich hammering home a counterattack, Pembroke heading home a corner. Serpentine, meanwhile, assert themselves as the strongest force on the Laith at the moment as Corvine and Mason, through a powerful grasscutter and a fluky flicked backheel, ensure a 2-0 win.

Brinemouth 4-3 Chatswood
Crisisbless 1-0 Cranequin Wanderers
Maximum City 0-1 AFC Serpentine
Maximum Rovers 1-1 Corvette Maulers
North Laithland 2-0 West Brinemouth
Sabrefell Athletic 3-2 Goodfeather FC
Sabrefell Moths 1-1 Chenoworth Harriers
AFC Treason 0-2 Bishop
Vermillion Rage 1-6 Parrhesia United
Violence Chariots 2-0 Newrook City
Coret Hawks 1-1 Creed United
Starling 2-1 Brookford Otters

The stage is set for the second half, and there’s two teams on track for triple-digits. Treason, at the top heading into the weekend, let it slip as they’re outfoxed 2-0 by a diligent Bishop (now 8th), former Treason striker Jaspenner with a driving header to fulfil the narrative counter but with Theresa Wintergren, who has impressed hugely when thrown into an unfamiliar central midfield role, as the undoubted star. Starling take advantage, edging the Otters despite a goal from former Passerine Loeher. Tense home victories for Athletic and Crisisbless ensure they round out the top four, with the Moths slipping to fifth as a typically obstinate Harriers side clinches a draw. The Saints consolidate in 6th - they’re set for a hell of a derby, and they make a hell of a derby, by breaking Vermillion 6-1. Away. They just attack, attack and attack until something sticks, and it always ends up sticking. It prevents Vermillion from making it into the last Globe Cup place, which instead is squeezed into by the Dockers after a pulsating 4-3 win over Chatswood, secured by a late brace from Kyron Bartley. “We’ve turned a corner,” captain Bosetti barked to the press after the match, presumably praying it’s true. Wishing they were in that conversation would be Coret and Creed, but the two underachieving sides draw one another 1-1 to remain 11th and 12th - that is, at least, one ahead of Brookford.

At the other end of the table, Maximum Rovers can only manage a disappointing draw in a low-quality match against Corvette, but they’ll be grateful that Luitgard has found her scoring boots again - her first headed goal of the season, in fact, squeezes past Sparr’s near post. But defeats for Chatswood and Maximum City, albeit narrow ones, keep safety within reach - Corvette in the playoff position are a point away from Chatswood (whose goal difference is godawful) and level with City. West Brinemouth, who have now scored a whole twelve goals, aren’t able to unsettle a North Laithland side that just plucks them apart in the end, but they’re still within striking range when they previously looked doomed. Surprisingly, Cranequin Wanderers have slipped badly, now second-last - they look defensively solid against Crisisbless, but what else? At the bottom of the table, of course, is Goodfeather FC. Sebastian Seward leads his men out bravely to a 3-2 defeat at the hands of another former club, Athletic. “But it’s still a defeat,” he said grimly, and the Quakers’ chances of survival look grim.

In the First Division, the top four… well, they all kind of look sealed in. River and, surprisingly, Armstrong, are almost definitely going up next season. They’re locked on 54 points, seven ahead of third and fourth (goalhungry Belgrave and physically dominant Morningstar) and a staggering sixteen ahead of the 5th-placed Sherries. Preseason favourites South Laithland are… 11th. Bruno Hawke’s paid for it with his job. The bottom six are starting to splinter away from the pack, though, now five points adrift - Cypher Town and Ritter Town recovered strongly to get away from it, but Martella and Locksley are in trouble. Shale, Coret and Riverkey are battling hard but with just 13 goals scored thus far (admittedly the same as other former yoyo club Iron City, in 17th) Rochford are distinctly treading water.

North Sabrefell 1-3 Starling
Bishop 0-1 Sabrefell Athletic
West Brinemouth 2-0 Coret Hawks
Vermillion Rage 2-0 Creed United
Dross Rovers 2-1 Ox River United
AFC Serpentine 2-2 Leichhardt (2-2 AET, 2-3 PKs)
Raven River 2-2 Brinemouth (2-2 AET, 4-1 PKs)
Sabrefell Moths 6-2 Crisisbless
Chatswood 0-1 Cranequin Wanderers
South Laithland 0-0 Maximum Rovers (0-0 AET, 3-2 PKs)
Belgrave 1-2 Martella Jazz
Stonegrave 2-1 Sutcroft Athletic
Corvette Maulers 3-1 Cypher Town
North Laithland 1-0 Forge Carpenters
Maximum City 0-4 Chenoworth Harriers
Brookford Otters 2-1 Newrook City

Now this is more like it. After all the Premiership sides avoid one another in the Third Round, they all seem to clash in the Fourth. In the unremarkable bracket; Bishop, Coret (admittedly to West Brinemouth’s B-listers), Chatswood and Newrook are beaten forgettably by other Premiership sides. More memorably, Chenoworth Harriers - giving the Cup full focus, admittedly - take Maximum City to the cleaners, with 70% possession and a 4-0 win. Sabrefell Moths obliterate Crisisbless 6-2, both sides with strong but partially rotated lineups, and the much-vaunted Crisisbless depth completely lets down the side as Nevaeh Cathar, who only recently turned 19, scores four (!) goals as she runs utterly rampant. Admittedly she’s also sent off for headbutting veteran Gallardo, but still! Serpentine are matched blow-for-blow by a resilient Leichhardt before, of all people, their most reliable performers in Emmerich, Mason and Ornstein all miss the target in the shootout. It’s the same way that a couple other sides drop out, too - an agonisingly boring scoreless draw between South Laithland and the Rovers and a far more exciting affair between River and Brinemouth that ends the same way - the big sides crash out. Sadly, North Laithland don’t follow suit - but Forge Carpenters, going out with something of a 9-1-0 formation (a 5-4-1 with lonely striker Rhys Devonport looking miserable in the centre circle the whole game) perform out of their skins to get away with just a 1-0 defeat, Lavender Jameson ultimately playing fairytale-destroyer for the fallen Conference side.

MATCHDAY 13
Rochford 0-1 Cranequin City
Diamondqueen 3-0 Cypher Town
Southfell United 1-2 Belgrave
Raven River 1-0 Morningstar
Crisisbless United 3-0 Iron City
AFC Shale 2-0 Coret Rovers
Sheridan 0-0 Ritter Town
Armstrong 2-0 Vermillion Wanderers
South Laithland 0-0 Extreme Hills
East Laithland Harriers 1-0 Leichhardt
Riverkey 0-0 Martella Jazz
North Sabrefell 1-0 Locksley
MATCHDAY 14
Cypher Town 1-0 Rochford
Belgrave 2-1 Cranequin City
Morningstar 2-1 Diamondqueen
Iron City 1-1 Southfell United
Coret Rovers 0-2 Raven River
Ritter Town 1-2 Crisisbless United
Vermillion Wanderers 1-1 AFC Shale
Extreme Hills 1-0 Sheridan
Leichhardt 1-1 Armstrong
Martella Jazz 1-2 South Laithland
Locksley 1-4 East Laithland Harriers
North Sabrefell 2-2 Riverkey
MATCHDAY 15
Rochford 0-2 Belgrave
Cypher Town 1-1 Morningstar
Cranequin City 1-0 Iron City
Diamondqueen 1-0 Coret Rovers
Southfell United 4-1 Ritter Town
Raven River 1-5 Vermillion Wanderers
Crisisbless United 0-5 Extreme Hills
AFC Shale 1-0 Leichhardt
Sheridan 3-1 Martella Jazz
Armstrong 3-1 Locksley
South Laithland 3-0 North Sabrefell
East Laithland Harriers 2-0 Riverkey
MATCHDAY 16
Morningstar 3-0 Rochford
Iron City 0-0 Belgrave
Coret Rovers 1-1 Cypher Town
Ritter Town 1-0 Cranequin City
Vermillion Wanderers 1-1 Diamondqueen
Extreme Hills 1-2 Southfell United
Leichhardt 0-1 Raven River
Martella Jazz 1-2 Crisisbless United
Locksley 0-0 AFC Shale
North Sabrefell 1-2 Sheridan
Riverkey 0-1 Armstrong
East Laithland Harriers 1-0 South Laithland
MATCHDAY 17
Rochford 1-1 Iron City
Morningstar 3-0 Coret Rovers
Belgrave 1-4 Ritter Town
Cypher Town 3-2 Vermillion Wanderers
Cranequin City 0-1 Extreme Hills
Diamondqueen 0-1 Leichhardt
Southfell United 4-1 Martella Jazz
Raven River 5-2 Locksley
Crisisbless United 4-3 North Sabrefell
AFC Shale 2-0 Riverkey
Sheridan 0-1 East Laithland Harriers
Armstrong 0-0 South Laithland
MATCHDAY 18
Coret Rovers 0-1 Rochford
Ritter Town 0-1 Iron City
Vermillion Wanderers 0-5 Morningstar
Extreme Hills 1-2 Belgrave
Leichhardt 2-0 Cypher Town
Martella Jazz 1-3 Cranequin City
Locksley 0-1 Diamondqueen
North Sabrefell 2-3 Southfell United
Riverkey 0-1 Raven River
East Laithland Harriers 1-4 Crisisbless United
South Laithland 1-0 AFC Shale
Armstrong 2-0 Sheridan
MATCHDAY 19
Rochford 0-1 Ritter Town
Coret Rovers 1-1 Vermillion Wanderers
Iron City 1-0 Extreme Hills
Morningstar 3-0 Leichhardt
Belgrave 7-0 Martella Jazz
Cypher Town 2-1 Locksley
Cranequin City 3-1 North Sabrefell
Diamondqueen 1-1 Riverkey
Southfell United 2-0 East Laithland Harriers
Raven River 3-1 South Laithland
Crisisbless United 0-1 Armstrong
AFC Shale 0-1 Sheridan
MATCHDAY 20
Vermillion Wanderers 3-0 Rochford
Extreme Hills 2-1 Ritter Town
Leichhardt 2-1 Coret Rovers
Martella Jazz 1-1 Iron City
Locksley 0-4 Morningstar
North Sabrefell 1-2 Belgrave
Riverkey 3-0 Cypher Town
East Laithland Harriers 1-0 Cranequin City
South Laithland 1-1 Diamondqueen
Armstrong 1-0 Southfell United
Sheridan 1-1 Raven River
AFC Shale 0-0 Crisisbless United
MATCHDAY 21
Rochford 0-1 Extreme Hills
Vermillion Wanderers 0-4 Leichhardt
Ritter Town 4-0 Martella Jazz
Coret Rovers 0-3 Locksley
Iron City 0-0 North Sabrefell
Morningstar 2-0 Riverkey
Belgrave 4-1 East Laithland Harriers
Cypher Town 1-0 South Laithland
Cranequin City 1-2 Armstrong
Diamondqueen 0-1 Sheridan
Southfell United 1-1 AFC Shale
Raven River 3-1 Crisisbless United
MATCHDAY 22
Leichhardt 1-0 Rochford
Martella Jazz 1-5 Extreme Hills
Locksley 0-8 Vermillion Wanderers
North Sabrefell 2-0 Ritter Town
Riverkey 2-1 Coret Rovers
East Laithland Harriers 1-1 Iron City
South Laithland 1-2 Morningstar
Armstrong 3-2 Belgrave
Sheridan 1-0 Cypher Town
AFC Shale 1-1 Cranequin City
Crisisbless United 0-1 Diamondqueen
Raven River 2-0 Southfell United
MATCHDAY 23
Rochford 0-3 Martella Jazz
Leichhardt 0-1 Locksley
Extreme Hills 4-2 North Sabrefell
Vermillion Wanderers 1-0 Riverkey
Ritter Town 5-0 East Laithland Harriers
Coret Rovers 2-1 South Laithland
Iron City 0-3 Armstrong
Morningstar 0-1 Sheridan
Belgrave 2-0 AFC Shale
Cypher Town 4-1 Crisisbless United
Cranequin City 0-2 Raven River
Diamondqueen 1-2 Southfell United
MATCHDAY 13
Project +90 3-2 Brookway Town
Crossroads Town 1-2 Mantlegrove
Stonegrave 0-0 Sutcroft
Kensey Town 0-1 Iron United
Boleyn Town 1-0 Senway Town
West Hook 0-0 Greygate
Dross Rovers 0-0 Ox River United
Chenoworth Rovers 3-1 Brindleton
Hackett 2-0 South Parrhesia
Strephonage 1-0 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Iberia Chenoworth 1-2 Crisisbless Athletic
Southriver 0-1 AFC Corvistone
MATCHDAY 14
Mantlegrove 0-1 Project +90
Sutcroft 1-0 Brookway Town
Iron United 1-3 Crossroads Town
Senway Town 0-2 Stonegrave
Greygate 2-0 Kensey Town
Ox River United 0-1 Boleyn Town
Brindleton 1-1 West Hook
South Parrhesia 2-1 Dross Rovers
Rhagant Schadenfreude 1-1 Chenoworth Rovers
Crisisbless Athletic 2-1 Hackett
AFC Corvistone 3-0 Strephonage
Southriver 3-4 Iberia Chenoworth
MATCHDAY 15
Project +90 0-1 Sutcroft
Mantlegrove 1-0 Iron United
Brookway Town 6-1 Senway Town
Crossroads Town 0-3 Greygate
Stonegrave 0-1 Ox River United
Kensey Town 2-2 Brindleton
Boleyn Town 1-1 South Parrhesia
West Hook 0-2 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Dross Rovers 1-0 Crisisbless Athletic
Chenoworth Rovers 2-0 AFC Corvistone
Hackett 5-0 Southriver
Strephonage 1-5 Iberia Chenoworth
MATCHDAY 16
Iron United 6-0 Project +90
Senway Town 2-2 Sutcroft
Greygate 0-0 Mantlegrove
Ox River United 0-2 Brookway Town
Brindleton 1-1 Crossroads Town
South Parrhesia 1-1 Stonegrave
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-1 Kensey Town
Crisisbless Athletic 2-0 Boleyn Town
AFC Corvistone 1-4 West Hook
Southriver 1-3 Dross Rovers
Iberia Chenoworth 1-4 Chenoworth Rovers
Strephonage 2-0 Hackett
MATCHDAY 17
Project +90 2-1 Senway Town
Iron United 1-1 Greygate
Sutcroft 2-0 Ox River United
Mantlegrove 0-3 Brindleton
Brookway Town 0-1 South Parrhesia
Crossroads Town 2-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Stonegrave 0-1 Crisisbless Athletic
Kensey Town 1-5 AFC Corvistone
Boleyn Town 1-1 Southriver
West Hook 3-1 Iberia Chenoworth
Dross Rovers 2-0 Strephonage
Chenoworth Rovers 1-2 Hackett
MATCHDAY 18
Greygate 5-2 Project +90
Ox River United 0-4 Senway Town
Brindleton 2-3 Iron United
South Parrhesia 1-2 Sutcroft
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-1 Mantlegrove
Crisisbless Athletic 0-1 Brookway Town
AFC Corvistone 0-0 Crossroads Town
Southriver 3-1 Stonegrave
Iberia Chenoworth 1-4 Kensey Town
Strephonage 0-1 Boleyn Town
Hackett 1-1 West Hook
Chenoworth Rovers 0-2 Dross Rovers
MATCHDAY 19
Project +90 2-2 Ox River United
Greygate 2-1 Brindleton
Senway Town 1-5 South Parrhesia
Iron United 3-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Sutcroft 2-0 Crisisbless Athletic
Mantlegrove 1-0 AFC Corvistone
Brookway Town 1-0 Southriver
Crossroads Town 0-0 Iberia Chenoworth
Stonegrave 2-0 Strephonage
Kensey Town 1-1 Hackett
Boleyn Town 1-2 Chenoworth Rovers
West Hook 1-0 Dross Rovers
MATCHDAY 20
Brindleton 2-1 Project +90
South Parrhesia 2-1 Ox River United
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-3 Greygate
Crisisbless Athletic 3-1 Senway Town
AFC Corvistone 0-0 Iron United
Southriver 0-1 Sutcroft
Iberia Chenoworth 1-1 Mantlegrove
Strephonage 2-0 Brookway Town
Hackett 3-0 Crossroads Town
Chenoworth Rovers 1-1 Stonegrave
Dross Rovers 1-1 Kensey Town
West Hook 2-0 Boleyn Town
MATCHDAY 21
Project +90 1-1 South Parrhesia
Brindleton 1-2 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Ox River United 2-0 Crisisbless Athletic
Greygate 4-3 AFC Corvistone
Senway Town 0-0 Southriver
Iron United 2-3 Iberia Chenoworth
Sutcroft 3-0 Strephonage
Mantlegrove 1-3 Hackett
Brookway Town 0-3 Chenoworth Rovers
Crossroads Town 1-2 Dross Rovers
Stonegrave 0-1 West Hook
Kensey Town 1-2 Boleyn Town
MATCHDAY 22
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-1 Project +90
Crisisbless Athletic 2-2 South Parrhesia
AFC Corvistone 1-0 Brindleton
Southriver 3-0 Ox River United
Iberia Chenoworth 1-3 Greygate
Strephonage 1-1 Senway Town
Hackett 3-1 Iron United
Chenoworth Rovers 1-0 Sutcroft
Dross Rovers 0-1 Mantlegrove
West Hook 2-1 Brookway Town
Boleyn Town 1-3 Crossroads Town
Kensey Town 1-0 Stonegrave
MATCHDAY 23
Project +90 1-2 Crisisbless Athletic
Rhagant Schadenfreude 1-1 AFC Corvistone
South Parrhesia 1-1 Southriver
Brindleton 1-1 Iberia Chenoworth
Ox River United 2-1 Strephonage
Greygate 2-1 Hackett
Senway Town 1-1 Chenoworth Rovers
Iron United 2-0 Dross Rovers
Sutcroft 0-1 West Hook
Mantlegrove 1-0 Boleyn Town
Brookway Town 3-1 Kensey Town
Crossroads Town 1-0 Stonegrave
MATCHDAY 13
Sutcroft Athletic 1-1 Long Lake
Mainstream Fist 4-1 Corby Hubris
Fully Sick XI 1-3 Pillars of Southfell
Kommissar 2-0 Bellamy
Lackerrun 0-3 Falston Town
Dartmouth Terriers 1-0 Fischer
Rushe United 3-4 Gridlock East
Fenland Albion 1-0 Grovebank
Gridlock Rovers 1-1 The Strongest
The Hanged Man 0-1 Ringway
Falston United 2-1 North Dubstep
Peregrine 3-2 Ballardine FC
MATCHDAY 14
Corby Hubris 1-0 Sutcroft Athletic
Pillars of Southfell 1-0 Long Lake
Bellamy 1-0 Mainstream Fist
Falston Town 2-0 Fully Sick XI
Fischer 1-1 Kommissar
Gridlock East 1-2 Lackerrun
Grovebank 3-2 Dartmouth Terriers
The Strongest 2-1 Rushe United
Ringway 2-2 Fenland Albion
North Dubstep 0-1 Gridlock Rovers
Ballardine FC 1-1 The Hanged Man
Peregrine 3-1 Falston United
MATCHDAY 15
Sutcroft Athletic 1-2 Pillars of Southfell
Corby Hubris 1-5 Bellamy
Long Lake 1-1 Falston Town
Mainstream Fist 4-1 Fischer
Fully Sick XI 1-1 Gridlock East
Kommissar 1-0 Grovebank
Lackerrun 1-8 The Strongest
Dartmouth Terriers 1-0 Ringway
Rushe United 3-1 North Dubstep
Fenland Albion 1-4 Ballardine FC
Gridlock Rovers 6-1 Peregrine
The Hanged Man 0-1 Falston United
MATCHDAY 16
Bellamy 1-0 Sutcroft Athletic
Falston Town 1-2 Pillars of Southfell
Fischer 4-0 Corby Hubris
Gridlock East 2-0 Long Lake
Grovebank 4-0 Mainstream Fist
The Strongest 3-0 Fully Sick XI
Ringway 0-3 Kommissar
North Dubstep 2-1 Lackerrun
Ballardine FC 1-1 Dartmouth Terriers
Peregrine 2-2 Rushe United
Falston United 3-0 Fenland Albion
The Hanged Man 0-2 Gridlock Rovers
MATCHDAY 17
Sutcroft Athletic 1-0 Falston Town
Bellamy 1-1 Fischer
Pillars of Southfell 1-0 Gridlock East
Corby Hubris 3-1 Grovebank
Long Lake 0-0 The Strongest
Mainstream Fist 2-2 Ringway
Fully Sick XI 2-1 North Dubstep
Kommissar 1-5 Ballardine FC
Lackerrun 1-1 Peregrine
Dartmouth Terriers 3-2 Falston United
Rushe United 1-0 The Hanged Man
Fenland Albion 1-0 Gridlock Rovers
MATCHDAY 18
Fischer 1-0 Sutcroft Athletic
Gridlock East 1-2 Falston Town
Grovebank 0-3 Bellamy
The Strongest 2-3 Pillars of Southfell
Ringway 2-1 Corby Hubris
North Dubstep 0-2 Long Lake
Ballardine FC 1-2 Mainstream Fist
Peregrine 1-0 Fully Sick XI
Falston United 0-2 Kommissar
The Hanged Man 1-2 Lackerrun
Gridlock Rovers 1-3 Dartmouth Terriers
Fenland Albion 1-2 Rushe United
MATCHDAY 19
Sutcroft Athletic 0-0 Gridlock East
Fischer 2-1 Grovebank
Falston Town 0-1 The Strongest
Bellamy 1-0 Ringway
Pillars of Southfell 1-1 North Dubstep
Corby Hubris 2-1 Ballardine FC
Long Lake 2-0 Peregrine
Mainstream Fist 2-1 Falston United
Fully Sick XI 2-1 The Hanged Man
Kommissar 1-2 Gridlock Rovers
Lackerrun 1-5 Fenland Albion
Dartmouth Terriers 3-2 Rushe United
MATCHDAY 20
Grovebank 1-2 Sutcroft Athletic
The Strongest 4-1 Gridlock East
Ringway 1-0 Fischer
North Dubstep 0-0 Falston Town
Ballardine FC 0-0 Bellamy
Peregrine 1-2 Pillars of Southfell
Falston United 2-1 Corby Hubris
The Hanged Man 1-0 Long Lake
Gridlock Rovers 1-4 Mainstream Fist
Fenland Albion 1-2 Fully Sick XI
Rushe United 1-4 Kommissar
Dartmouth Terriers 7-0 Lackerrun
MATCHDAY 21
Sutcroft Athletic 1-1 The Strongest
Grovebank 1-1 Ringway
Gridlock East 2-4 North Dubstep
Fischer 1-4 Ballardine FC
Falston Town 4-0 Peregrine
Bellamy 2-0 Falston United
Pillars of Southfell 1-1 The Hanged Man
Corby Hubris 3-3 Gridlock Rovers
Long Lake 0-1 Fenland Albion
Mainstream Fist 0-1 Rushe United
Fully Sick XI 3-5 Dartmouth Terriers
Kommissar 6-2 Lackerrun
MATCHDAY 22
Ringway 0-2 Sutcroft Athletic
North Dubstep 5-1 The Strongest
Ballardine FC 0-2 Grovebank
Peregrine 4-1 Gridlock East
Falston United 2-0 Fischer
The Hanged Man 3-0 Falston Town
Gridlock Rovers 2-0 Bellamy
Fenland Albion 0-2 Pillars of Southfell
Rushe United 6-0 Corby Hubris
Dartmouth Terriers 2-0 Long Lake
Lackerrun 1-2 Mainstream Fist
Kommissar 2-2 Fully Sick XI
MATCHDAY 23
Sutcroft Athletic 1-0 North Dubstep
Ringway 0-0 Ballardine FC
The Strongest 6-2 Peregrine
Grovebank 0-1 Falston United
Gridlock East 0-0 The Hanged Man
Fischer 2-0 Gridlock Rovers
Falston Town 2-0 Fenland Albion
Bellamy 1-3 Rushe United
Pillars of Southfell 1-0 Dartmouth Terriers
Corby Hubris 2-3 Lackerrun
Long Lake 0-2 Kommissar
Mainstream Fist 1-2 Fully Sick XI
MATCHDAY 13
Harrington 3-0 FC Seierstad
Swag Hill Rovers 1-1 Alliance Barossia
Gosforth Swans 2-1 Mapleford
Boltcroft Thorns 1-0 Ramsay
Corinthians No Longer 4-1 Norton Road
Sirencall FC 2-0 Tryst Athletic
Forge Carpenters 1-1 Gonen's Bridge
Gridlock 0-1 Franchise FC
Nay Town 2-0 Courser
Vermillion Spite 3-2 Camwell Road
MATCHDAY 17
Harrington 4-2 Norton Road
Ramsay 2-1 Tryst Athletic
Mapleford 1-1 Gonen's Bridge
Alliance Barossia 2-0 Franchise FC
FC Seierstad 0-0 Courser
Swag Hill Rovers 3-0 Camwell Road
Gosforth Swans 4-0 Vermillion Spite
Boltcroft Thorns 4-1 Nay Town
Corinthians No Longer 0-0 Gridlock
Sirencall FC 0-2 Forge Carpenters
MATCHDAY 18
Tryst Athletic 1-4 Harrington
Gonen's Bridge 1-0 Norton Road
Franchise FC 1-0 Ramsay
Courser 0-3 Mapleford
Camwell Road 1-2 Alliance Barossia
Vermillion Spite 2-0 FC Seierstad
Nay Town 1-0 Swag Hill Rovers
Gridlock 0-2 Gosforth Swans
Forge Carpenters 1-1 Boltcroft Thorns
Sirencall FC 3-2 Corinthians No Longer
MATCHDAY 19
Harrington 4-2 Gonen's Bridge
Tryst Athletic 2-2 Franchise FC
Norton Road 2-1 Courser
Ramsay 1-0 Camwell Road
Mapleford 5-4 Vermillion Spite
Alliance Barossia 1-1 Nay Town
FC Seierstad 1-3 Gridlock
Swag Hill Rovers 2-1 Forge Carpenters
Gosforth Swans 5-1 Sirencall FC
Boltcroft Thorns 5-3 Corinthians No Longer
MATCHDAY 20
Franchise FC 2-1 Harrington
Courser 0-2 Gonen's Bridge
Camwell Road 1-1 Tryst Athletic
Vermillion Spite 0-1 Norton Road
Nay Town 0-4 Ramsay
Gridlock 0-1 Mapleford
Forge Carpenters 3-0 Alliance Barossia
Sirencall FC 3-4 FC Seierstad
Corinthians No Longer 5-1 Swag Hill Rovers
Boltcroft Thorns 1-4 Gosforth Swans
MATCHDAY 21
Harrington 0-1 Courser
Franchise FC 2-1 Camwell Road
Gonen's Bridge 3-0 Vermillion Spite
Tryst Athletic 3-2 Nay Town
Norton Road 1-0 Gridlock
Ramsay 1-1 Forge Carpenters
Mapleford 3-1 Sirencall FC
Alliance Barossia 0-2 Corinthians No Longer
FC Seierstad 2-3 Boltcroft Thorns
Swag Hill Rovers 0-4 Gosforth Swans
MATCHDAY 22
Camwell Road 0-2 Harrington
Vermillion Spite 0-2 Courser
Nay Town 1-3 Franchise FC
Gridlock 0-0 Gonen's Bridge
Forge Carpenters 0-0 Tryst Athletic
Sirencall FC 0-2 Norton Road
Corinthians No Longer 1-3 Ramsay
Boltcroft Thorns 0-1 Mapleford
Gosforth Swans 1-0 Alliance Barossia
Swag Hill Rovers 1-0 FC Seierstad
MATCHDAY 23
Harrington 4-1 Vermillion Spite
Camwell Road 2-1 Nay Town
Courser 1-0 Gridlock
Franchise FC 3-2 Forge Carpenters
Gonen's Bridge 2-1 Sirencall FC
Tryst Athletic 1-0 Corinthians No Longer
Norton Road 1-2 Boltcroft Thorns
Ramsay 2-2 Gosforth Swans
Mapleford 4-1 Swag Hill Rovers
Alliance Barossia 0-1 FC Seierstad
MATCHDAY 13
Sandrock 1-0 Clay Terrace
Hartford Glade 0-0 Twelvetrees
Brunyard FC 2-0 Norpike
Coral Bay 1-0 Lazuli Diamonds
Downsparrow 0-2 Violence Tigers
South Brill 1-1 Rookwall
Stamper Road 2-1 West End
Masculine Town 0-3 Rochford Pilgrims
Celebryant FC 3-1 Bodkin Road
Blaze 3-3 Dubstep Rangers
MATCHDAY 23
Sandrock 1-1 Blaze
Dubstep Rangers 3-2 Celebryant FC
Bodkin Road 1-1 Masculine Town
Rochford Pilgrims 1-0 Stamper Road
West End 3-0 South Brill
Rookwall 1-1 Downsparrow
Violence Tigers 1-1 Coral Bay
Lazuli Diamonds 3-3 Brunyard FC
Norpike 1-1 Hartford Glade
Twelvetrees 1-0 Clay Terrace

PREMIERSHIP
Pos Team                      P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Starling 23 15 7 1 51 17 +34 52
2 AFC Treason 23 17 1 5 54 26 +28 52
3 Sabrefell Athletic 23 14 5 4 53 28 +25 47
4 Crisisbless 23 14 4 5 51 26 +25 46

5 Sabrefell Moths 23 13 5 5 56 29 +27 44
6 Parrhesia United 23 12 5 6 37 27 +10 41
7 Brinemouth 23 11 4 8 36 33 +3 37

8 Bishop 23 9 8 6 30 21 +9 35
9 Vermillion Rage 23 9 8 6 42 41 +1 35
10 Violence Chariots 23 11 1 11 51 44 +7 34
11 Coret Hawks 23 9 7 7 34 28 +6 34
12 Creed United 23 9 7 7 26 25 +1 34
13 Brookford Otters 23 8 7 8 38 37 +1 31
14 Chenoworth Harriers 23 7 7 9 35 36 -1 28
15 North Laithland 23 8 3 12 37 45 -8 27
16 AFC Serpentine 23 6 9 8 32 44 -12 27
17 Newrook City 23 7 5 11 31 40 -9 26
18 Maximum Rovers 23 6 5 12 28 43 -15 23
19 Chatswood 23 6 3 14 25 50 -25 21
20 Maximum City 23 4 8 11 28 42 -14 20
21 Corvette Maulers 23 5 5 13 25 44 -19 20
22 West Brinemouth 23 4 6 13 12 33 -21 18
23 Cranequin Wanderers 23 5 3 15 20 42 -22 18
24 Goodfeather FC 23 4 3 16 20 51 -31 15

FIRST DIVISION
Pos Team                          P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Raven River 23 17 3 3 42 16 +26 54
2 Armstrong 23 16 6 1 35 13 +22 54
3 Belgrave 23 14 5 4 53 27 +26 47

4 Morningstar 23 15 2 6 48 22 +26 47
5 Sheridan 23 11 5 7 28 23 +5 38
6 Extreme Hills 23 11 4 8 38 26 +12 37
7 Southfell United 23 10 7 6 40 31 +9 37
8 Leichhardt 23 11 4 8 22 16 +6 37
9 Vermillion Wanderers 23 10 5 8 43 39 +4 35
10 East Laithland Harriers 23 10 5 8 23 31 -8 35
11 South Laithland 23 10 4 9 31 24 +7 34
12 Crisisbless United 23 10 4 9 40 37 +3 34
13 Cypher Town 23 9 3 11 25 32 -7 30
14 Diamondqueen 23 7 8 8 20 20 +0 29
15 Ritter Town 23 8 4 11 33 29 +4 28
16 Cranequin City 23 8 4 11 23 27 -4 28
17 Iron City 23 6 9 8 13 21 -8 27
18 North Sabrefell 23 7 4 12 33 38 -5 25
19 Martella Jazz 23 5 5 13 26 47 -21 20
20 Locksley 23 5 5 13 27 50 -23 20
21 AFC Shale 23 4 7 12 15 26 -11 19
22 Coret Rovers 23 4 7 12 20 39 -19 19
23 Riverkey 23 4 6 13 17 37 -20 18
24 Rochford 23 4 4 15 13 37 -24 16

SECOND DIVISION
Pos Team                        P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Greygate 23 17 5 1 43 15 +28 56
2 Hackett 23 14 4 5 43 21 +22 46
3 Sutcroft 23 13 6 4 30 14 +16 45
4 Chenoworth Rovers 23 12 6 5 34 23 +11 42

5 Mantlegrove 23 11 9 3 30 19 +11 42
6 Crisisbless Athletic 23 12 3 8 31 22 +9 39
7 Crossroads Town 23 10 7 6 31 25 +6 37
8 West Hook 23 9 9 5 26 20 +6 36
9 Brindleton 23 10 5 8 31 25 +6 35
10 AFC Corvistone 23 9 5 9 42 31 +11 32
11 Iron United 23 10 2 11 34 30 +4 32
12 Dross Rovers 23 9 5 9 24 21 +3 32
13 Kensey Town 23 8 7 8 29 27 +2 31
14 South Parrhesia 23 8 7 8 32 31 +1 31
15 Project +90 23 8 7 8 28 34 -6 31
16 Stonegrave 23 7 7 9 20 19 +1 28
17 Iberia Chenoworth 23 8 4 11 45 52 -7 28
18 Boleyn Town 23 8 4 11 21 34 -13 28
19 Southriver 23 6 7 10 25 32 -7 25
20 Rhagant Schadenfreude 23 6 5 12 17 22 -5 23
21 Strephonage 23 6 3 14 18 40 -22 21
22 Brookway Town 23 6 2 15 25 49 -24 20
23 Ox River United 23 3 5 15 13 37 -24 14
24 Senway Town 23 1 6 16 14 43 -29 9

THIRD DIVISION
Pos Team                       P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Pillars of Southfell 23 16 5 2 36 15 +21 53
2 The Strongest 23 16 4 3 56 24 +32 52
3 Dartmouth Terriers 23 16 3 4 51 24 +27 51
4 Rushe United 23 12 6 5 50 30 +20 42

5 Long Lake 23 11 6 6 32 16 +16 39
6 North Dubstep 23 11 6 6 32 21 +11 39
7 Kommissar 23 11 5 7 44 28 +16 38
8 Mainstream Fist 23 12 2 9 37 31 +6 38
9 Sutcroft Athletic 23 9 8 6 22 22 +0 35
10 Falston Town 23 10 3 10 33 21 +12 33
11 Falston United 23 9 6 8 27 24 +3 33
12 Fully Sick XI 23 8 7 8 36 36 +0 31
13 Bellamy 23 8 5 10 22 26 -4 29
14 The Hanged Man 23 7 7 9 21 19 +2 28
15 Gridlock Rovers 23 7 7 9 29 28 +1 28
16 Peregrine 23 8 3 12 30 42 -12 27
17 Fischer 23 7 5 11 24 35 -11 26
18 Fenland Albion 23 7 5 11 20 31 -11 26
19 Ballardine FC 23 5 9 9 32 37 -5 24
20 Ringway 23 6 6 11 15 27 -12 24
21 Gridlock East 23 6 6 11 22 35 -13 24
22 Corby Hubris 23 5 2 16 26 62 -36 17
23 Grovebank 23 5 1 17 18 39 -21 16
24 Lackerrun 23 4 3 16 27 69 -42 15

CONFERENCE WEST
Pos Team                        P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Mapleford 23 16 3 4 47 25 +22 51
2 Gonen's Bridge 23 12 8 3 36 14 +22 44

3 Alliance Barossia 23 13 4 6 28 19 +9 43
4 Franchise FC 23 13 4 6 39 33 +6 43
5 Boltcroft Thorns 23 12 6 5 47 35 +12 42
6 Gosforth Swans 23 12 4 7 47 34 +13 40
7 Harrington 23 12 3 8 45 27 +18 39
8 Forge Carpenters 23 10 6 7 27 16 +11 36
9 Swag Hill Rovers 23 11 3 9 43 42 +1 36
10 Gridlock 23 10 5 8 29 18 +11 35
11 FC Seierstad 23 10 3 10 35 32 +3 33
12 Norton Road 23 9 2 12 27 34 -7 29
13 Ramsay 23 8 3 12 25 35 -10 27
14 Nay Town 23 7 6 10 24 38 -14 27
15 Courser 23 7 4 12 26 38 -12 25
16 Vermillion Spite 23 6 5 12 31 47 -16 23
17 Tryst Athletic 23 5 6 12 21 38 -17 21
18 Corinthians No Longer 23 5 4 14 41 52 -11 19
19 Sirencall FC 23 5 4 14 26 41 -15 19
20 Camwell Road 23 4 3 16 18 44 -26 15

CONFERENCE EAST
Pos Team                    P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Lazuli Diamonds 23 13 7 3 38 18 +20 46
2 Brunyard FC 23 12 6 5 44 27 +17 42

3 Downsparrow 23 11 8 4 24 17 +7 41
4 Dubstep Rangers 23 10 10 3 33 24 +9 40
5 Coral Bay 23 11 7 5 28 22 +6 40
6 Rochford Pilgrims 23 11 5 7 44 24 +20 38
7 Rookwall 23 10 8 5 30 24 +6 38
8 Bodkin Road 23 9 9 5 26 19 +7 36
9 Blaze 23 10 6 7 41 35 +6 36
10 South Brill 23 9 8 6 27 22 +5 35
11 Stamper Road 23 9 4 10 35 35 +0 31
12 Hartford Glade 23 8 5 10 26 26 +0 29
13 Twelvetrees 23 7 8 8 21 26 -5 29
14 Masculine Town 23 8 3 12 33 31 +2 27
15 Norpike 23 6 5 12 23 31 -8 23
16 Sandrock 23 4 10 9 14 31 -17 22
17 Celebryant FC 23 5 6 12 28 42 -14 21
18 West End 23 5 4 14 20 41 -21 19
19 Clay Terrace 23 3 7 13 8 25 -17 16
20 Violence Tigers 23 3 6 14 18 41 -23 15
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Nephara
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Postby Nephara » Sun Jan 15, 2017 10:04 pm

Cranequin Wanderers 0-1 Brinemouth
AFC Serpentine 0-2 Chatswood
Corvette Maulers 0-0 Crisisbless
West Brinemouth 0-2 Maximum City
Goodfeather FC 0-1 Maximum Rovers
Chenoworth Harriers 2-2 North Laithland
Bishop 0-3 Sabrefell Athletic
Parrhesia United 3-0 Sabrefell Moths
Newrook City 0-3 AFC Treason
Creed United 0-0 Vermillion Rage
Brookford Otters 0-1 Violence Chariots
Starling 3-0 Coret Hawks

Thirteen clean sheets from twelves games - not that this was a boring week, just. Funny that way. Somewhat inevitably, West Brinemouth lose 2-0 and Goodfeather 1-0 at home to the visiting Maximum sides to continue something of a rut, while Crisisbless surprisingly can’t get past the streaky but talented Lukas Sparr in the Corvette goal. The Saints underline their Globe Cup credentials by thrashing the Moths 3-0, and while everything clicks well in attack the man of the match award goes to Olaf Womack - the Cosumar international has thrived in a league where he can just murder people to his heart’s content. Meanwhile, Keira Andisori gets the better of national teammate Antonio this time around - she scores twice and Malachi Gallagher a third to ensure the Hawks slink home disappointed. “It’s so tight at the top and a good run could spark us forward any time,” argues Anna Cliving after the match, but if the rumours are right her job is under threat.

Mekhanist Lokomotiv 0-0 AFC Treason
Olympique Charmat 2-0 Brinemouth

… Sorry, what?

Brinemouth 0-2 AFC Serpentine
Cranequin Wanderers 3-0 Corvette Maulers
Chatswood 1-0 West Brinemouth
Crisisbless 3-0 Goodfeather FC
Maximum City 0-1 Chenoworth Harriers
Maximum Rovers 0-1 Bishop
North Laithland 1-0 Parrhesia United
Sabrefell Athletic 0-1 Newrook City
Sabrefell Moths 0-0 Creed United
AFC Treason 2-0 Brookford Otters
Vermillion Rage 0-3 Starling
Violence Chariots 1-1 Coret Hawks

Yet again, twelve clean sheets in twelve matches. A weird new trend? Levan Kyprianou has one job to save his match. That’s the narrative as the Wanderers host the Maulers… and, well, evidently the players want him to stick around, as a spirited, gutsy performance finally sees Tobias Clarke allowed to flourish. It’s helped by the incompetence of Corvette’s rightback, Karoy, and Teixeira rediscovering his scoring boots after a ten-match goal drought - he gets a brace, both from Clarke assists, before Paul Bismarck’s thunderbastard finishes the Maulers off. Helpfully, basically every other relegation battler loses. Serpentine drag themselves further away from it, too - they simply outrun and outmuscle Serpentine, with Gareth Hartson making a number of strong saves and Carrie Mason, at the front of the assault, scoring a crisp brace - two goals, three shots, five touches.

AFC Treason 3-1 Mekhanist Lokomotiv
AFC Treason win 3-1 on aggregate.

Brinemouth 1-0 Olympique Charmat
Olympique Charmat win 2-1 on aggregate.

Stags do the job at home to compensate after a typical Away International Match held them away. But Brinemouth’s 1-0 win isn’t enough, and they slip away. Konrad Gosforth sighs in the postmatch interview as his goal fails to be enough to break down a determined Charmat. “You ever get that feeling you’re the defeated villain in someone else’s story?” Yeah, he’s unsettled as fuck - but at least his performances have only grown more intense.

Corvette Maulers 4-0 Brinemouth
West Brinemouth 0-1 AFC Serpentine
Goodfeather FC 1-3 Cranequin Wanderers
Chenoworth Harriers 2-1 Chatswood
Bishop 2-2 Crisisbless
Parrhesia United 3-1 Maximum City
Newrook City 2-1 Maximum Rovers
Creed United 3-1 North Laithland
Brookford Otters 2-1 Sabrefell Athletic
Starling 1-0 Sabrefell Moths
Coret Hawks 2-1 AFC Treason
Violence Chariots 3-0 Vermillion Rage

Back when Brinemouth won their second straight title, they had to visit Corvette Maulers. Easy match against a mediocre side destined to finish midtable. And yet, Leigh Fletcher’s double (yes, the Armstrong manager) and further goals from Lindsay Halloran (who???), Lara Holt (??????) and Daniel Canady (well, okay, he’s at least memorable) ensured a famous 5-1 win. Yes, those namedrops were entirely to make you feel old, it was ten years ago. And, well… Jesus Christ, Brinemouth, nothing can go right for you this season, as this time Harper, Duric, Mateus and even plucky piebald 19-year old Patches Rathbone secure a 4-0 win.

Brinemouth 3-0 West Brinemouth
Corvette Maulers 0-1 Goodfeather FC
AFC Serpentine 2-3 Chenoworth Harriers
Cranequin Wanderers 1-0 Bishop
Chatswood 0-2 Parrhesia United
Crisisbless 3-0 Newrook City
Maximum City 1-1 Creed United
Maximum Rovers 2-1 Brookford Otters
North Laithland 1-0 Starling
Sabrefell Athletic 4-0 Coret Hawks
Sabrefell Moths 1-0 Violence Chariots
AFC Treason 1-3 Vermillion Rage

Brinemouth derby time - the Gulls are in a bit of a slump but seem to have mostly revived since Houghton took charge, the Dockers look vulnerable. Does it play to script? Well, not to that one - it plays instead to the script of ‘the very strong home team beats the very weak away team 3-0’ - an imperious performance by Gosforth to blame, as well as some uncharacteristically shaky defending from the away side who melted down the wings. The Moths, for their part, break a winless run of six matches with a tense, back-to-basics performance against the Chariots. They held the line, they waited for the first error (a helpful errant pass from Lilith Paterson cut out by Belgrave) and, with a clever cutback to the charging Cliving who thumped it past Edelgrau, got a 1-0 win to show for it. Cliving’s mother, Anna Cliving, is fired after overseeing a terrible 4-0 thumping at the hands of Sabrefell Athletic, an entire team that looks great on paper but just can’t figure out how to deal with Alexa Ferryman and her pesky ‘passing’ and ‘running’.

Brookford Otters 2-2 Stonegrave (3-2 AET)
Sabrefell Athletic 1-0 Leichhardt
South Laithland 2-1 Martella Jazz
Cranequin Wanderers 1-0 West Brinemouth
Dross Rovers 0-5 North Laithland
Starling 1-0 Sabrefell Moths
Raven River 2-2 Chenoworth Harriers (3-2 AET)
Corvette Maulers 0-0 Vermillion Rage (0-1 AET)

Last round before the quarterfinals. Perennial Cup specialists South Laithland have made it, a crisp strike from Jamie Ratchford and Rutger Connacht’s direct free kick enough to take them past a spirited but limited Martella. Across town, Dross Rovers are thumped 5-0 at home by North Laithland, Rasunda Vanderlei given a rare chance further up the pitch and impressing. In a dull set of matches, Athletic see off Leichhardt, Cranequin beat West Brinemouth and Starling take down the Moths, all 1-0 home wins. Corvette and Vermillion disappoint most, though, as the two attacking sides absolutely fail to come up with any final ball. It’s settled in extra time in the end, when a fresh Joscelyn Ambrose runs into the box and gets clattered by Russ Lazaridis, and the young striker’s allowed to convert the winning penalty herself. The real treats are a couple more Premiership vs. lower-tier matches - Brookford make heavy weather of brave third-tier Stonegrave, and it takes a shot right into the stanchion from 30 yards by Tanya Chilton to sink them, while River are also locked 2-2 with the Harriers in extra time. But just as Matt Bowerman seems to be single-handedly repelling the Premiership side, it’s one of his sweeping crossfield kicks that gets the ball straight to the danger man, Casper Lindgren. Lindgren was, admittedly, found out horribly at Premiership level, but the substitute does manage to scuff one past Sheffield at the death to ensure a strong win for the central Sabrefell side.

Goodfeather FC 2-5 Brinemouth
Chenoworth Harriers 3-0 West Brinemouth
Bishop 1-3 Corvette Maulers
Parrhesia United 4-1 AFC Serpentine
Newrook City 1-0 Cranequin Wanderers
Creed United 1-3 Chatswood
Brookford Otters 1-2 Crisisbless
Starling 2-1 Maximum City
Coret Hawks 1-1 Maximum Rovers
Violence Chariots 2-0 North Laithland
Vermillion Rage 0-0 Sabrefell Athletic
AFC Treason 3-1 Sabrefell Moths

This has been the busiest season for managerial changes in a while - Coret pull off a coup, bringing in stalwart former Sabrefell Moths manager Rachel Weixelbraun. She isn’t quite in the hot seat yet, and watches from the stands as interim manager Claire Antioch oversees a lukewarm 1-1 draw with Maximum Rovers. West Brinemouth’s renaissance might just not be a thing, as they fail to even register a target against the Harriers. The attack is bad enough - Laura Weiler, a solid goalscorer at this level, has managed a grand total of two from her 25 matches - without the defence folding as well, which it does, crumbling yet again down the flanks. Sarah Carmady’s hamstring injury a few weeks ago was a disaster. Goodfeather, meanwhile, think they’re lucky when Lynwood scores an increasingly rare goal against Brinemouth in the fourth minute of the game. That’s, well… they ultimately lose 5-2, and the fans are growing restless.

AFC Treason 1-0 Olympique Charmat

Worrying echoes of the last leg, but a heavily-rested Treason do manage to break them down in the end. An unsettled home crowd relaxes once homegrown midfielder Sonja Dreyer drifts in from the left wing to score her first senior goal for the club.

Brinemouth 1-3 Chenoworth Harriers
Goodfeather FC 0-0 Bishop
West Brinemouth 0-2 Parrhesia United
Corvette Maulers 2-0 Newrook City
AFC Serpentine 1-2 Creed United
Cranequin Wanderers 0-1 Brookford Otters
Chatswood 2-2 Starling
Crisisbless 2-0 Coret Hawks
Maximum City 0-1 Violence Chariots
Maximum Rovers 2-0 Vermillion Rage
North Laithland 2-1 AFC Treason
Sabrefell Athletic 0-1 Sabrefell Moths

Rivalries galore. Well, okay, two of them. Neither’s really that good a match, it has to be said - a grinding Sabrefell derby, settled in the end by Cliving’s masterful set piece headed home by the towering leap of Weaver, and what has come to be known as the Crownsend derby, with North Laithland getting two goals (one from each winger) in quick succession and stemming the bloodflow in the second half, Steed Corren making a number of excellent saves. Igrene Cantor does lace in an unstoppable thunderbastard from the edge of the box, but that’s what she does, and it’s not enough in any case. Weixelbraun’s first match in charge of the Hawks is… a pretty limp defeat to a vastly superior Crisisbless side, in all honesty. Meanwhile, Chatswood seem to bring back some of the old Lineker spirit, matching Starling every inch in blood, sweat and tears. And, impressively, in goals, as former Starling goalkeeper Middlesbrough concedes and then saves a penalty in the seventh minute and, just two minutes later, Nketiah sets up Serge Mavididi to rifle home the opener. Starling fight back and the class eventually tells, Gallagher with a late run into the box letting him head home a clever Asif cross before another Asif pass, more of a long ball this time, is rifled home by impressive teenager Elsa Kaelin, but after a scrappy set piece smashed into the box by Corsie everyone kicks each other around a bit before, finally, the substitute Matheson forces his way into the middle of the pinball and toebashes it over the line to ensure a useful point for the Woodsmen.

Olympique Charmat 1-3 AFC Treason
AFC Treason win 4-1 on aggregate.

Conceding a goal wasn’t in the plan, but the Stags knew better than to underestimate a Charmat side that already accounted for Brinemouth. Portsgate’s header and a brace from Tarashaj was enough to see them through.

Bishop 0-1 Brinemouth
Parrhesia United 2-7 Chenoworth Harriers
Newrook City 5-3 Goodfeather FC
Creed United 1-0 West Brinemouth
Brookford Otters 3-3 Corvette Maulers
Starling 3-1 AFC Serpentine
Coret Hawks 1-1 Cranequin Wanderers
Violence Chariots 2-3 Chatswood
Vermillion Rage 0-2 Crisisbless
AFC Treason 0-0 Maximum City
Sabrefell Moths 0-1 Maximum Rovers
Sabrefell Athletic 6-4 North Laithland

A few dull recent weeks. Not this matchday, though. Most eyes are on the Stags/Smiths match and it thoroughly disappoints, Treason are uncharacteristically poor and City entirely characteristically poor aside from Jelic between the posts. 0-0 the final score. Moving along to the real deal. The Saints have been good this season, haven’t they? Well, largely, that’s due to the homicidal presence of Olaf Womack anchoring the midfield - it’s a 2-2 dead heat in the first half until, on the stroke of the interval, he puts two studs into Sebastyen Barthez’s knees. That’s Barthez’s MCL gone and most of his season with it, and unsurprisingly Womack received his marching orders. In the second half? West, West, West, Weber and, um, West, made them pay, to the tune of a 7-2 victory. There’s the first perfect hat-trick of the season in Newrook as Maxine Lynwood returns to her old stomping ground and hometown club, a left-sidefoot into the far corner, a scuffed right-footer past a scrambling Summersteen and a neat enough header to put the Quakers 3-2 up at the break. Somehow, she manages to mute every one of her celebrations to lowkey fist-pumps as she jogs back to the halfway line. A rare and much-needed win? Well, Forster fumbles a cross within two minutes of the restart and Jacobsen stabs it home, and Fenwick returns off the bench from an ankle knock on the hour mark… immediately notching up a fantastic goal that thunders past Forster and then a perfect pass for charging rightback Luque to sidefoot home for Newrook’s fifth. Lip service has to be paid to a 3-3 draw between Brookford and Corvette, two sides running at each other with, despite the scoreline, some brilliant acrobatic saves from both Alphonse and Sparr, but the real match of the round has to be Athletic vs. Laithland. Ross Finlay’s free kick is deflected past Pressinger by the wayward leg of Gerhardt before Christian Serjeant’s thumping header puts Lara Finch’s side 2-0 up. Serjeant, incidentally, can apparently play as a centre-forward, and has done so this match as the Spiders search for a consistent goalscorer. But Athletic have a few of those - such as Chloe Rudden, whose first shot is intercepted by Lucassen’s face to beat Corren before chipping the goalkeeper herself and rifling a second goal into the top corner. North Laithland retake the lead on the stroke of half-time, Prisca Stenet with a rifled toebash. Unfortunately, in injury time, Steed Corren stretches… something taking a goalkick, and limps off the pitch. Enter Ophelia Rattin, a promising 19-year old goalkeeper, with number 12 Sinstadt also injured. She has a torrid time, gives away two penalties, is beaten at her near post and is, mercifully, blameless for Alexa Ferryman rifling home Athletic’s sixth, and a 92nd-minute strike from Louis Rhodes is scant consolation.

Brinemouth 1-2 Parrhesia United
Bishop 0-2 Newrook City
Chenoworth Harriers 2-2 Creed United
Goodfeather FC 2-1 Brookford Otters
West Brinemouth 0-2 Starling
Corvette Maulers 0-0 Coret Hawks
AFC Serpentine 1-2 Violence Chariots
Cranequin Wanderers 0-1 Vermillion Rage
Chatswood 1-2 AFC Treason
Crisisbless 0-3 Sabrefell Moths
Maximum City 2-2 Sabrefell Athletic
Maximum Rovers 0-2 North Laithland

Nine straight defeats. Nine straight failures to score. Augustine Houghton would be fired, but, well, what can he do with this kind of squad? His tiny purple patch was worth something, at least. Of course, now that this streak’s been mentioned… Parrhesia, meanwhile, missing the entire core of their defensive plan, throw Gestede into the gap and hope for the best. And, surprisingly, they come away with a 2-1 win - Brinemouth think they see defensive shakiness and, to be fair, they’re right, but the Saints have just the right amount of pace in attack (‘lots’) to exploit on the counterattack, and despite a goal of the season contender from Dre Roenoujya who somehow manages to scorpion kick in a cross from Bartley, the Dockers succumb to another defeat. Treason enter their derby with one win from five but they make it up to the fans. Chatswood are back to striving hard and running hard but despite a wonder goal from Corsie they, too, succumb to the law of averages and Roddy Fraser’s forehead. Crisisbless are stunned by Sabrefell Moths, a quickfire first-half double from Aaliyah Johnson derailing the Heelers’ plan. Just as they string together a few shots and some decent possession in the second half, Leona Rafford needlessly headbutts Scheherezade Meier off the ball and receives a red for her troubles - Meier, for her part, scores a third.

Newrook City 1-2 Brinemouth
Creed United 1-3 Parrhesia United
Brookford Otters 1-3 Bishop
Starling 1-2 Chenoworth Harriers
Coret Hawks 0-2 Goodfeather FC
Violence Chariots 0-1 West Brinemouth
Vermillion Rage 3-3 Corvette Maulers
AFC Treason 3-2 AFC Serpentine
Sabrefell Moths 3-1 Cranequin Wanderers
Sabrefell Athletic 2-2 Chatswood
North Laithland 2-1 Crisisbless
Maximum Rovers 2-0 Maximum City

IT IS OFFICIALLY TIME TO LOSE YOUR SHIT
WEST BRINEMOUTH SCORED A GOAL AND DID NOT LOSE
HOLY FUCK
They’re still really bad though, the Chariots are just flaky and a weak shot from Almerich slipped between Edelgrau’s legs somehow. Lockwood has done well between the posts for the Gulls and assuredly keeps them in the game here, ensuring a seemingly impossible 1-0 win. The Rovers relish a chance to put their local rivals deeper in the hole they’re digging - Catheline Harper’s side just fights harder and plays better than their rivals, Kurtis Woodbine has a one-man hack job laser-guided on Niko Rosmalen and, without him, the Smiths have nothing. The goals in the end are scored by Curren and Chapin, but the man of the match is Spyridon Kolitsidakis, who might not have fulfilled his early promise but, on his 26th birthday, shows he’s certainly come of age as a good Premiership midfielder. Meanwhile, the Stags look to be out of gas and spinning their wheels - they took a first-half 2-0 lead against Serpentine but a goal well against the run of play by Swanenburg just before the hour just swept out the rug from under their feet. The Stags are poor from then on, and seem oddly disjointed, and Gareth Corvine’s strike rifled into the ceiling of the net from 30 yards is entirely in sync with the run of play, and they look the most likely to score a winner in injury time… until Vesper swings in a decent corner, Tarashaj and McGuinness both contested it and Roddy Fraser, seemingly just sort of loitering in the middle of nowhere, happens to be in the right place at the right time to volley the ball low and hard past an unsighted Hartson. The luck of champions, or, at least, of Fraser, who seems to have a gift in finding the rub of the green. With Starling, Crisisbless and Athletic all dropping points, a vital win for the Stags.

Brinemouth 2-0 Turoki Tide
AFC Treason 2-0 Metropolis Alligators

Straightforward home wins, just what Nepharim fans like to see in UICA. Kyron Bartley’s potential and diligence can’t be faulted but his finishing has sometimes been questionable - not so tonight, rifling one into the far corner drifting in from the right before finding his way onto the far post and heading Roenoujya’s cross home, totally unmarked. Treason also get a secure margin, Igrene Cantor and Vedran Tarashaj getting the goods, but Metropolis do force some good saves from Fletcher.

Starling 1-1 Navel Sharks
Sabrefell Athletic 2-2 Pikemouth
Ulsa 2-0 Creed United

This was less good. Two winnable home fixtures spoiled by draws - Starling only salvage it late on when Marquon’s flying header converts a crisp Costello free kick, while a dominant performance from former Bishop midfielder Emerald Sheehan is the catalyst for Pikemouth managing a draw against Athletic, though it’s Brittain’s straightforward header off Lena Waters’ cross that ultimately gets the result. Ulsa, meanwhile, are just a far better side than Creed. They escape Eura with a 2-0 defeat, Mathis Woodgate stemming the blood flow, but what could have been if Danica Farrier hadn’t skied from five yards in the 85th minute… ?

Brinemouth 2-1 Creed United
Newrook City 3-2 Brookford Otters
Parrhesia United 0-1 Starling
Bishop 2-1 Coret Hawks
Chenoworth Harriers 3-0 Violence Chariots
Goodfeather FC 1-2 Vermillion Rage
West Brinemouth 1-3 AFC Treason
Corvette Maulers 1-0 Sabrefell Moths
AFC Serpentine 2-1 Sabrefell Athletic
Cranequin Wanderers 2-1 North Laithland
Chatswood 0-1 Maximum Rovers
Crisisbless 1-1 Maximum City

Confidence high on a run of one match unbeaten, West Brinemouth are promptly pulverised by the Stags. The Gulls do actually score first as Kunigunde Almerich continues her metamorphosis into a capable First Division striker (just in time, really) but the Stags wear them down and score three times after the hour mark to secure a more than deserved victory. Lockwood, yet again, impresses between the posts, and is reported to be a target for Cranequin, Newrook, North Laithland and Sabrefell Moths. On a goalkeeping note, Lukas Sparr’s put his early jitters behind him and the Maulers can basically thank him for a lucky 1-0 win over the Moths, Johanna Ankergren netting on the break as Sparr makes nine strong saves. The Harriers, meanwhile, have passed under the radar somewhat - but they’re unbeaten in 14 league games (though they did exit the Cup), have won eight of their last nine including travels to Starling and Brinemouth and today simply pulverised the Chariots, Konrad Feist continuing to put himself on the map for the Premiership’s top sides. But respect is also due to Raphael Somner, the 34-year old captain, and Mirzayev, the 29-year old who was signed from bloody Pravenna, who are one of the league’s lowest-key and most underrated midfield platform. They haven’t been too great at times, sure, but they’ve come into their own in this run of form. Who knows when it could end?

Turoki Tide 0-0 Brinemouth
Brinemouth win 2-0 on aggregate.

Metropolis Alligators 3-2 AFC Treason
AFC Treason win 4-3 on aggregate.

A complete borefest in Turoki. Stephen Frew’s squad has been woefully inconsistent, so while it’s a surprise to see him go compact and aim to spring counterattacks, it works. Metropolis Alligators rally on home soil, but the tie seems almost over when Igrene Cantor’s hammerblow is a 1-1 equaliser on the day but means that Metropolis need three more goals in the remaining 51 minutes. They get two, but Svensson’s reputation for, as is the term back in his native Cosumar, ‘clutch’ goals, comes to the fore yet again - though so much credit, naturally, goes to Vesper for whipping in another fantastic corner.

Navel Sharks 1-0 Starling
Navel Sharks win 2-1 on aggregate.

Pikemouth 3-1 Sabrefell Athletic
Pikemouth win 5-3 on aggregate.

Creed United 2-1 Ulsa
Ulsa wins 3-2 on aggregate.

A poor game in the Whirl Islands is more than enough for the Sharks as the Passerines, uncharacteristically, just fail to turn up. Fegelein’s disgust is clear. Pikemouth dominate Athletic as well, a typically overachieving Brenecian performance that sees the lightning-quick forwards Wakefield, Brittain and substitute Mordred Greig each manage a goal as Athletic are carved apart on the counterattack again and again. Creed, surprisingly, close the gap in the first half - they go for pure physicality, Stavanger and the equally bruising Leadbetter each getting a goal in the first half, but in the second half returning Nepharim hero Adnan Szalai continues his dominance over Ash Reisman (later, mercifully, substituted for Thrush, but the 32-year old does even worse) and manages to nutmeg him, run onto the end of it and curling one past a surprised Woodgate’s near post. All three sides crash out.

Brookford Otters 0-1 Brinemouth
Starling 1-2 Creed United
Coret Hawks 1-1 Newrook City
Violence Chariots 1-1 Parrhesia United
Vermillion Rage 2-0 Bishop
AFC Treason 5-1 Chenoworth Harriers
Sabrefell Moths 5-2 Goodfeather FC
Sabrefell Athletic 3-0 West Brinemouth
North Laithland 1-5 Corvette Maulers
Maximum Rovers 0-0 AFC Serpentine
Maximum City 0-0 Cranequin Wanderers
Crisisbless 6-1 Chatswood

Ignore everything that was just said about Chenoworth, Treason pump them 5-1. This time, it’s Starling who slip up - largely thanks to a sullen-looking but ever-professional Mathis Woodgate between the posts and the juggernaut Stavanger up front, neither of whom will be there next season (well, almost definitely). They still have the lead, five goal difference (though fewer scored) but the sides are locked on points. Crisisbless play to type, definitely in the hunt but with their incredible midfield demolishing Chatswood 6-1. That front five… Urso, Swan, Jevdjevic-Hadsic, Gandhi, Redmayne and even the substitute Sundu, all get on the scoresheet, and the inelegant header (Miller, off Archer’s corner) Chatswood use to claw back to 3-1 on the stroke of half-time just looks so inelegant. The Saints cling onto their place in 4th, but it takes a last-gasp equaliser from the Chariots from teenage forward Brigitte Coppinger at full stretch to keep them from a safer margin. As it stands, Athletic are 5th, a point behind Parrhesia and two ahead of the Moths - the two sides beat down the probably-relegated Gulls and Quakers by three goals at home. Brinemouth win ugly against Brookford, reliant on an unfortunate but hilarious defensive error from Esther Vannatter who accidentally slips with her foot on the ball and falls over - Silkman pounces, and does the rest. Four points away, if the Harriers can get their run of form back, they can

Stranded in midtable are a series of teams who thought they could do a whole lot better - the Chariots are seven points out of 7th, Creed round out the top 10 a point and a place behind and Vermillion’s negative goal difference puts them behind the Oathmen in 11th after a breezy victory over Bishop, a place behind them. The Cardinals, though, would be happy with their boring safety, and they’ve even managed to score more than a goal a match for once! Newrook City and Maximum Rovers are both involved in dull draws and will be happy with safety as well. Beneath them? North Laithland and Coret Hawks should be doing better than what they have. Funnily enough, managed by Lara Finch and Rachael Weixelbraun, the latter failing to get an immediate turnaround from the stalling Hawks. Neither’s at risk, but both need an upturn in fortunes - Finch’s job security is hanging by a thread, especially given this last result...

Brookford are sleepwalking into potential trouble, now 18th - they’re leapfrogged by a Corvette side that now looks most likely safe, thumping North Laithland 5-1 away. 21st and 22nd play out a really bad scoreless draw - Maximum City are winless in ten, remaining four points short of Cranequin Wanderers. The Wanderers have been pretty poor, granted - worse than when they went down with 52 points - but it seems like Tobias Clarke, when fit, might just drag them to safety. Chatswood, three points out of 21st but just having been hammered by the Heelers, look vulnerable. Goodfeather can get to safety on paper, but they’re slumping. Sebastian Seward’s made some neat tactical switches but the side simply isn’t good enough. West Brinemouth, freshly annihilated by Athletic, looked sunk in the first quarter of the season, enjoyed an impressive resurgence to recover for the halfway mark and… look sunk again. “This has been the worst year of my life,” says captain Pembroke in the post-match interview. Alright then.

Let’s be honest, the top four are set in stone. Morningstar have taken top place with their physical approach, a team that… oh, of course, Emery Lineker runs it now, and complete bastards like Arne van Hoof and Henrique Lopez are pummelling the second tier into oblivion. Armstrong and River need no introduction, while Belgrave’s more elegant, flowery approach has earned them many fans abroad but their wealthy image has earned them few at home. Sheridan are distinctly irritable being nine points short of them, with other recent Premiership sides in Leichhardt, Extreme Hills, South Laithland, Southfell and Crisisbless United rounding out the top 10. Cypher are 11th, somehow, despite selling all their best players in the offseason. It’s anyone’s game at the bottom, meanwhile, with six teams cut adrift at the bottom looking to fight for two places - Martella and Coret Rovers have them at the moment, with former Premiership sides Rochford and Shale and sides with high hopes skewered in Locksley and Riverkey. Rochford, incidentally, are on their fourth manager this season. None have worked out. Corvistone, worryingly, have fought their way to 7th, but still have a fight on their hands for promotion. It definitely looks like they went way too hard for experience, and they’re just… slow. Roe and Morham have been lifting them above their level.

MATCHDAY 24
Locksley 0-3 Rochford
North Sabrefell 1-1 Martella Jazz
Riverkey 0-0 Leichhardt
East Laithland Harriers 1-1 Extreme Hills
South Laithland 1-0 Vermillion Wanderers
Armstrong 1-1 Ritter Town
Sheridan 1-1 Coret Rovers
AFC Shale 0-2 Iron City
Crisisbless United 4-7 Morningstar
Raven River 1-2 Belgrave
Southfell United 1-0 Cypher Town
Diamondqueen 1-0 Cranequin City
MATCHDAY 25
Rochford 2-0 North Sabrefell
Locksley 1-2 Riverkey
Martella Jazz 2-2 East Laithland Harriers
Leichhardt 0-1 South Laithland
Extreme Hills 1-1 Armstrong
Vermillion Wanderers 0-1 Sheridan
Ritter Town 2-0 AFC Shale
Coret Rovers 0-4 Crisisbless United
Iron City 2-1 Raven River
Morningstar 3-0 Southfell United
Belgrave 1-1 Diamondqueen
Cypher Town 2-0 Cranequin City
MATCHDAY 26
Riverkey 1-1 Rochford
East Laithland Harriers 0-2 North Sabrefell
South Laithland 1-0 Locksley
Armstrong 2-1 Martella Jazz
Sheridan 1-0 Leichhardt
AFC Shale 1-3 Extreme Hills
Crisisbless United 6-2 Vermillion Wanderers
Raven River 3-0 Ritter Town
Southfell United 4-1 Coret Rovers
Diamondqueen 1-1 Iron City
Cranequin City 1-3 Morningstar
Cypher Town 2-0 Belgrave
MATCHDAY 27
Rochford 0-2 East Laithland Harriers
Riverkey 2-4 South Laithland
North Sabrefell 0-2 Armstrong
Locksley 0-1 Sheridan
Martella Jazz 1-0 AFC Shale
Leichhardt 2-1 Crisisbless United
Extreme Hills 2-1 Raven River
Vermillion Wanderers 1-1 Southfell United
Ritter Town 0-2 Diamondqueen
Coret Rovers 1-1 Cranequin City
Iron City 1-2 Cypher Town
Morningstar 0-1 Belgrave
MATCHDAY 28
South Laithland 2-1 Rochford
Armstrong 1-0 East Laithland Harriers
Sheridan 1-1 Riverkey
AFC Shale 0-1 North Sabrefell
Crisisbless United 4-1 Locksley
Raven River 6-0 Martella Jazz
Southfell United 0-2 Leichhardt
Diamondqueen 1-1 Extreme Hills
Cranequin City 2-0 Vermillion Wanderers
Cypher Town 1-0 Ritter Town
Belgrave 3-1 Coret Rovers
Morningstar 2-0 Iron City
MATCHDAY 29
Rochford 2-0 Armstrong
South Laithland 0-1 Sheridan
East Laithland Harriers 0-0 AFC Shale
Riverkey 1-2 Crisisbless United
North Sabrefell 0-0 Raven River
Locksley 1-2 Southfell United
Martella Jazz 0-2 Diamondqueen
Leichhardt 1-0 Cranequin City
Extreme Hills 3-3 Cypher Town
Vermillion Wanderers 0-3 Belgrave
Ritter Town 0-1 Morningstar
Coret Rovers 3-1 Iron City
MATCHDAY 30
Sheridan 1-1 Rochford
AFC Shale 0-0 Armstrong
Crisisbless United 2-3 South Laithland
Raven River 1-1 East Laithland Harriers
Southfell United 0-0 Riverkey
Diamondqueen 1-0 North Sabrefell
Cranequin City 0-0 Locksley
Cypher Town 1-1 Martella Jazz
Belgrave 0-1 Leichhardt
Morningstar 0-2 Extreme Hills
Iron City 1-1 Vermillion Wanderers
Coret Rovers 0-2 Ritter Town
MATCHDAY 31
Rochford 1-1 AFC Shale
Sheridan 2-0 Crisisbless United
Armstrong 2-3 Raven River
South Laithland 0-0 Southfell United
East Laithland Harriers 0-5 Diamondqueen
Riverkey 0-1 Cranequin City
North Sabrefell 1-2 Cypher Town
Locksley 2-0 Belgrave
Martella Jazz 0-0 Morningstar
Leichhardt 1-1 Iron City
Extreme Hills 3-2 Coret Rovers
Vermillion Wanderers 1-1 Ritter Town
MATCHDAY 32
Crisisbless United 2-1 Rochford
Raven River 1-1 AFC Shale
Southfell United 1-2 Sheridan
Diamondqueen 0-2 Armstrong
Cranequin City 2-2 South Laithland
Cypher Town 2-2 East Laithland Harriers
Belgrave 3-1 Riverkey
Morningstar 2-1 North Sabrefell
Iron City 2-0 Locksley
Coret Rovers 3-1 Martella Jazz
Ritter Town 1-1 Leichhardt
Vermillion Wanderers 0-2 Extreme Hills
MATCHDAY 33
Rochford 0-3 Raven River
Crisisbless United 4-3 Southfell United
AFC Shale 1-0 Diamondqueen
Sheridan 0-0 Cranequin City
Armstrong 2-0 Cypher Town
South Laithland 1-3 Belgrave
East Laithland Harriers 0-5 Morningstar
Riverkey 1-1 Iron City
North Sabrefell 1-1 Coret Rovers
Locksley 2-5 Ritter Town
Martella Jazz 6-3 Vermillion Wanderers
Leichhardt 1-0 Extreme Hills
MATCHDAY 34
Southfell United 4-1 Rochford
Diamondqueen 1-0 Raven River
Cranequin City 3-2 Crisisbless United
Cypher Town 1-0 AFC Shale
Belgrave 1-0 Sheridan
Morningstar 2-0 Armstrong
Iron City 1-0 South Laithland
Coret Rovers 2-2 East Laithland Harriers
Ritter Town 2-1 Riverkey
Vermillion Wanderers 2-0 North Sabrefell
Extreme Hills 2-4 Locksley
Leichhardt 1-0 Martella Jazz
MATCHDAY 24
AFC Corvistone 1-1 Project +90
Southriver 3-1 Crisisbless Athletic
Iberia Chenoworth 0-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Strephonage 1-2 South Parrhesia
Hackett 1-0 Brindleton
Chenoworth Rovers 3-0 Ox River United
Dross Rovers 1-1 Greygate
West Hook 2-1 Senway Town
Boleyn Town 1-1 Iron United
Kensey Town 0-2 Sutcroft
Stonegrave 2-1 Mantlegrove
Crossroads Town 1-0 Brookway Town
MATCHDAY 25
Project +90 2-1 Southriver
AFC Corvistone 6-1 Iberia Chenoworth
Crisisbless Athletic 2-0 Strephonage
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-0 Hackett
South Parrhesia 1-0 Chenoworth Rovers
Brindleton 1-1 Dross Rovers
Ox River United 0-0 West Hook
Greygate 1-0 Boleyn Town
Senway Town 2-3 Kensey Town
Iron United 1-0 Stonegrave
Sutcroft 0-4 Crossroads Town
Mantlegrove 0-1 Brookway Town
MATCHDAY 26
Iberia Chenoworth 2-1 Project +90
Strephonage 0-2 Southriver
Hackett 3-1 AFC Corvistone
Chenoworth Rovers 2-0 Crisisbless Athletic
Dross Rovers 2-0 Rhagant Schadenfreude
West Hook 1-3 South Parrhesia
Boleyn Town 1-0 Brindleton
Kensey Town 1-1 Ox River United
Stonegrave 0-1 Greygate
Crossroads Town 1-4 Senway Town
Brookway Town 1-1 Iron United
Mantlegrove 1-1 Sutcroft
MATCHDAY 27
Project +90 0-1 Strephonage
Iberia Chenoworth 1-1 Hackett
Southriver 0-1 Chenoworth Rovers
AFC Corvistone 1-2 Dross Rovers
Crisisbless Athletic 4-1 West Hook
Rhagant Schadenfreude 1-1 Boleyn Town
South Parrhesia 2-0 Kensey Town
Brindleton 0-1 Stonegrave
Ox River United 1-0 Crossroads Town
Greygate 3-2 Brookway Town
Senway Town 1-3 Mantlegrove
Iron United 3-3 Sutcroft
MATCHDAY 28
Hackett 1-2 Project +90
Chenoworth Rovers 2-0 Strephonage
Dross Rovers 0-2 Iberia Chenoworth
West Hook 0-0 Southriver
Boleyn Town 2-3 AFC Corvistone
Kensey Town 3-0 Crisisbless Athletic
Stonegrave 1-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Crossroads Town 1-0 South Parrhesia
Brookway Town 3-1 Brindleton
Mantlegrove 4-1 Ox River United
Sutcroft 0-1 Greygate
Iron United 2-0 Senway Town
MATCHDAY 29
Project +90 1-0 Chenoworth Rovers
Hackett 3-2 Dross Rovers
Strephonage 0-2 West Hook
Iberia Chenoworth 1-3 Boleyn Town
Southriver 2-0 Kensey Town
AFC Corvistone 0-1 Stonegrave
Crisisbless Athletic 1-1 Crossroads Town
Rhagant Schadenfreude 1-0 Brookway Town
South Parrhesia 1-2 Mantlegrove
Brindleton 0-2 Sutcroft
Ox River United 0-1 Iron United
Greygate 2-2 Senway Town
MATCHDAY 30
Dross Rovers 2-1 Project +90
West Hook 0-1 Chenoworth Rovers
Boleyn Town 0-1 Hackett
Kensey Town 0-1 Strephonage
Stonegrave 1-0 Iberia Chenoworth
Crossroads Town 3-0 Southriver
Brookway Town 1-4 AFC Corvistone
Mantlegrove 1-1 Crisisbless Athletic
Sutcroft 0-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Iron United 1-2 South Parrhesia
Senway Town 3-2 Brindleton
Greygate 2-1 Ox River United
MATCHDAY 31
Project +90 3-2 West Hook
Dross Rovers 0-1 Boleyn Town
Chenoworth Rovers 1-1 Kensey Town
Hackett 2-0 Stonegrave
Strephonage 1-1 Crossroads Town
Iberia Chenoworth 2-1 Brookway Town
Southriver 4-2 Mantlegrove
AFC Corvistone 3-1 Sutcroft
Crisisbless Athletic 2-1 Iron United
Rhagant Schadenfreude 2-3 Senway Town
South Parrhesia 0-2 Greygate
Brindleton 4-2 Ox River United
MATCHDAY 32
Boleyn Town 3-1 Project +90
Kensey Town 1-2 West Hook
Stonegrave 1-0 Dross Rovers
Crossroads Town 2-0 Chenoworth Rovers
Brookway Town 1-3 Hackett
Mantlegrove 3-1 Strephonage
Sutcroft 5-0 Iberia Chenoworth
Iron United 0-1 Southriver
Senway Town 2-1 AFC Corvistone
Greygate 1-0 Crisisbless Athletic
Ox River United 2-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Brindleton 2-1 South Parrhesia
MATCHDAY 33
Project +90 4-1 Kensey Town
Boleyn Town 1-1 Stonegrave
West Hook 1-0 Crossroads Town
Dross Rovers 1-2 Brookway Town
Chenoworth Rovers 0-0 Mantlegrove
Hackett 2-1 Sutcroft
Strephonage 1-0 Iron United
Iberia Chenoworth 1-1 Senway Town
Southriver 0-2 Greygate
AFC Corvistone 1-0 Ox River United
Crisisbless Athletic 0-1 Brindleton
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-0 South Parrhesia
MATCHDAY 34
Stonegrave 0-2 Project +90
Crossroads Town 3-2 Kensey Town
Brookway Town 0-4 Boleyn Town
Mantlegrove 3-1 West Hook
Sutcroft 5-0 Dross Rovers
Iron United 1-0 Chenoworth Rovers
Senway Town 2-0 Hackett
Greygate 1-0 Strephonage
Ox River United 1-1 Iberia Chenoworth
Brindleton 3-1 Southriver
South Parrhesia 1-4 AFC Corvistone
Rhagant Schadenfreude 3-1 Crisisbless Athletic
MATCHDAY 24
Ballardine FC 1-1 Sutcroft Athletic
Peregrine 2-1 North Dubstep
Falston United 2-1 Ringway
The Hanged Man 0-0 The Strongest
Gridlock Rovers 1-1 Grovebank
Fenland Albion 2-0 Gridlock East
Rushe United 1-1 Fischer
Dartmouth Terriers 0-0 Falston Town
Lackerrun 1-1 Bellamy
Kommissar 0-2 Pillars of Southfell
Fully Sick XI 1-1 Corby Hubris
Mainstream Fist 2-1 Long Lake
MATCHDAY 25
Sutcroft Athletic 3-3 Peregrine
Ballardine FC 3-2 Falston United
North Dubstep 1-2 The Hanged Man
Ringway 1-3 Gridlock Rovers
The Strongest 4-1 Fenland Albion
Grovebank 1-3 Rushe United
Gridlock East 0-2 Dartmouth Terriers
Fischer 0-0 Lackerrun
Falston Town 0-0 Kommissar
Bellamy 5-2 Fully Sick XI
Pillars of Southfell 2-3 Mainstream Fist
Corby Hubris 3-4 Long Lake
MATCHDAY 26
Falston United 0-1 Sutcroft Athletic
The Hanged Man 0-1 Peregrine
Gridlock Rovers 1-0 Ballardine FC
Fenland Albion 1-1 North Dubstep
Rushe United 0-1 Ringway
Dartmouth Terriers 1-0 The Strongest
Lackerrun 1-1 Grovebank
Kommissar 2-1 Gridlock East
Fully Sick XI 2-3 Fischer
Mainstream Fist 0-2 Falston Town
Long Lake 0-0 Bellamy
Corby Hubris 1-1 Pillars of Southfell
MATCHDAY 27
Sutcroft Athletic 0-1 The Hanged Man
Falston United 2-2 Gridlock Rovers
Peregrine 2-0 Fenland Albion
Ballardine FC 2-1 Rushe United
North Dubstep 1-0 Dartmouth Terriers
Ringway 1-0 Lackerrun
The Strongest 4-2 Kommissar
Grovebank 1-0 Fully Sick XI
Gridlock East 2-1 Mainstream Fist
Fischer 2-1 Long Lake
Falston Town 3-2 Corby Hubris
Bellamy 1-0 Pillars of Southfell
MATCHDAY 28
Gridlock Rovers 1-0 Sutcroft Athletic
Fenland Albion 1-0 The Hanged Man
Rushe United 3-2 Falston United
Dartmouth Terriers 4-0 Peregrine
Lackerrun 2-4 Ballardine FC
Kommissar 1-1 North Dubstep
Fully Sick XI 1-4 Ringway
Mainstream Fist 0-1 The Strongest
Long Lake 0-0 Grovebank
Corby Hubris 3-0 Gridlock East
Pillars of Southfell 4-2 Fischer
Bellamy 1-1 Falston Town
MATCHDAY 29
Sutcroft Athletic 1-2 Fenland Albion
Gridlock Rovers 3-2 Rushe United
The Hanged Man 1-1 Dartmouth Terriers
Falston United 1-3 Lackerrun
Peregrine 1-0 Kommissar
Ballardine FC 4-1 Fully Sick XI
North Dubstep 3-1 Mainstream Fist
Ringway 4-1 Long Lake
The Strongest 3-0 Corby Hubris
Grovebank 2-3 Pillars of Southfell
Gridlock East 2-1 Bellamy
Fischer 2-2 Falston Town
MATCHDAY 30
Rushe United 1-3 Sutcroft Athletic
Dartmouth Terriers 0-2 Fenland Albion
Lackerrun 5-1 Gridlock Rovers
Kommissar 3-0 The Hanged Man
Fully Sick XI 6-0 Falston United
Mainstream Fist 0-5 Peregrine
Long Lake 2-1 Ballardine FC
Corby Hubris 4-2 North Dubstep
Pillars of Southfell 2-1 Ringway
Bellamy 0-0 The Strongest
Falston Town 0-1 Grovebank
Fischer 3-3 Gridlock East
MATCHDAY 31
Sutcroft Athletic 1-0 Dartmouth Terriers
Rushe United 2-1 Lackerrun
Fenland Albion 0-1 Kommissar
Gridlock Rovers 5-1 Fully Sick XI
The Hanged Man 2-2 Mainstream Fist
Falston United 2-1 Long Lake
Peregrine 1-3 Corby Hubris
Ballardine FC 1-1 Pillars of Southfell
North Dubstep 2-0 Bellamy
Ringway 0-1 Falston Town
The Strongest 4-1 Fischer
Grovebank 2-1 Gridlock East
MATCHDAY 32
Lackerrun 3-7 Sutcroft Athletic
Kommissar 2-2 Dartmouth Terriers
Fully Sick XI 1-0 Rushe United
Mainstream Fist 0-0 Fenland Albion
Long Lake 1-1 Gridlock Rovers
Corby Hubris 2-1 The Hanged Man
Pillars of Southfell 1-0 Falston United
Bellamy 2-1 Peregrine
Falston Town 2-2 Ballardine FC
Fischer 0-0 North Dubstep
Gridlock East 0-2 Ringway
Grovebank 1-3 The Strongest
MATCHDAY 33
Sutcroft Athletic 4-0 Kommissar
Lackerrun 3-1 Fully Sick XI
Dartmouth Terriers 5-1 Mainstream Fist
Rushe United 0-3 Long Lake
Fenland Albion 1-0 Corby Hubris
Gridlock Rovers 1-0 Pillars of Southfell
The Hanged Man 1-0 Bellamy
Falston United 2-1 Falston Town
Peregrine 2-2 Fischer
Ballardine FC 1-2 Gridlock East
North Dubstep 1-1 Grovebank
Ringway 0-5 The Strongest
MATCHDAY 34
Fully Sick XI 1-0 Sutcroft Athletic
Mainstream Fist 1-2 Kommissar
Long Lake 2-0 Lackerrun
Corby Hubris 0-2 Dartmouth Terriers
Pillars of Southfell 1-2 Rushe United
Bellamy 1-0 Fenland Albion
Falston Town 2-1 Gridlock Rovers
Fischer 0-0 The Hanged Man
Gridlock East 1-1 Falston United
Grovebank 2-4 Peregrine
The Strongest 3-0 Ballardine FC
Ringway 1-0 North Dubstep
MATCHDAY 24
Nay Town 2-2 Harrington
Gridlock 0-0 Vermillion Spite
Forge Carpenters 1-1 Camwell Road
Sirencall FC 1-2 Courser
Corinthians No Longer 3-2 Franchise FC
Boltcroft Thorns 0-3 Gonen's Bridge
Gosforth Swans 2-0 Tryst Athletic
Swag Hill Rovers 4-1 Norton Road
FC Seierstad 2-2 Ramsay
Alliance Barossia 0-1 Mapleford
MATCHDAY 25
Harrington 1-0 Gridlock
Nay Town 2-2 Forge Carpenters
Vermillion Spite 2-7 Sirencall FC
Camwell Road 0-1 Corinthians No Longer
Courser 0-3 Boltcroft Thorns
Franchise FC 0-1 Gosforth Swans
Gonen's Bridge 2-2 Swag Hill Rovers
Tryst Athletic 3-0 FC Seierstad
Norton Road 0-3 Alliance Barossia
Ramsay 1-2 Mapleford
MATCHDAY 26
Forge Carpenters 1-1 Harrington
Sirencall FC 0-1 Gridlock
Corinthians No Longer 1-0 Nay Town
Boltcroft Thorns 4-4 Vermillion Spite
Gosforth Swans 3-0 Camwell Road
Swag Hill Rovers 0-0 Courser
FC Seierstad 2-2 Franchise FC
Alliance Barossia 2-0 Gonen's Bridge
Mapleford 3-1 Tryst Athletic
Ramsay 1-0 Norton Road
MATCHDAY 27
Harrington 1-3 Sirencall FC
Forge Carpenters 3-1 Corinthians No Longer
Gridlock 2-0 Boltcroft Thorns
Nay Town 1-2 Gosforth Swans
Vermillion Spite 1-4 Swag Hill Rovers
Camwell Road 3-0 FC Seierstad
Courser 0-2 Alliance Barossia
Franchise FC 0-0 Mapleford
Gonen's Bridge 0-1 Ramsay
Tryst Athletic 2-2 Norton Road
MATCHDAY 28
Corinthians No Longer 4-2 Harrington
Boltcroft Thorns 4-2 Sirencall FC
Gosforth Swans 0-0 Forge Carpenters
Swag Hill Rovers 1-1 Gridlock
FC Seierstad 1-2 Nay Town
Alliance Barossia 3-0 Vermillion Spite
Mapleford 3-1 Camwell Road
Ramsay 0-2 Courser
Norton Road 3-1 Franchise FC
Tryst Athletic 0-6 Gonen's Bridge
MATCHDAY 29
Harrington 2-1 Boltcroft Thorns
Corinthians No Longer 1-2 Gosforth Swans
Sirencall FC 3-1 Swag Hill Rovers
Forge Carpenters 2-0 FC Seierstad
Gridlock 1-1 Alliance Barossia
Nay Town 3-5 Mapleford
Vermillion Spite 4-1 Ramsay
Camwell Road 1-0 Norton Road
Courser 0-1 Tryst Athletic
Franchise FC 1-2 Gonen's Bridge
MATCHDAY 30
Gosforth Swans 0-4 Harrington
Swag Hill Rovers 2-1 Boltcroft Thorns
FC Seierstad 2-1 Corinthians No Longer
Alliance Barossia 1-1 Sirencall FC
Mapleford 2-0 Forge Carpenters
Ramsay 2-1 Gridlock
Norton Road 1-1 Nay Town
Tryst Athletic 1-1 Vermillion Spite
Gonen's Bridge 4-2 Camwell Road
Franchise FC 2-2 Courser
MATCHDAY 31
Harrington 1-1 Swag Hill Rovers
Gosforth Swans 2-1 FC Seierstad
Boltcroft Thorns 1-1 Alliance Barossia
Corinthians No Longer 1-1 Mapleford
Sirencall FC 1-0 Ramsay
Forge Carpenters 1-0 Norton Road
Gridlock 2-1 Tryst Athletic
Nay Town 2-0 Gonen's Bridge
Vermillion Spite 0-1 Franchise FC
Camwell Road 2-0 Courser
MATCHDAY 32
FC Seierstad 1-1 Harrington
Alliance Barossia 3-1 Swag Hill Rovers
Mapleford 2-0 Gosforth Swans
Ramsay 0-1 Boltcroft Thorns
Norton Road 2-1 Corinthians No Longer
Tryst Athletic 3-0 Sirencall FC
Gonen's Bridge 1-0 Forge Carpenters
Franchise FC 0-2 Gridlock
Courser 2-2 Nay Town
Camwell Road 1-3 Vermillion Spite
MATCHDAY 33
Harrington 3-0 Alliance Barossia
FC Seierstad 3-2 Mapleford
Swag Hill Rovers 2-1 Ramsay
Gosforth Swans 2-1 Norton Road
Boltcroft Thorns 3-0 Tryst Athletic
Corinthians No Longer 1-0 Gonen's Bridge
Sirencall FC 4-0 Franchise FC
Forge Carpenters 0-0 Courser
Gridlock 1-0 Camwell Road
Nay Town 0-3 Vermillion Spite
MATCHDAY 34
Mapleford 1-1 Harrington
Ramsay 0-0 Alliance Barossia
Norton Road 1-0 FC Seierstad
Tryst Athletic 2-0 Swag Hill Rovers
Gonen's Bridge 1-1 Gosforth Swans
Franchise FC 3-2 Boltcroft Thorns
Courser 2-0 Corinthians No Longer
Camwell Road 1-4 Sirencall FC
Vermillion Spite 0-2 Forge Carpenters
Nay Town 2-1 Gridlock
MATCHDAY 24
Celebryant FC 1-0 Sandrock
Masculine Town 3-0 Blaze
Stamper Road 2-0 Dubstep Rangers
South Brill 1-2 Bodkin Road
Downsparrow 1-1 Rochford Pilgrims
Coral Bay 1-1 West End
Brunyard FC 1-1 Rookwall
Hartford Glade 2-0 Violence Tigers
Clay Terrace 0-1 Lazuli Diamonds
Twelvetrees 2-0 Norpike
MATCHDAY 25
Sandrock 0-2 Masculine Town
Celebryant FC 4-1 Stamper Road
Blaze 2-2 South Brill
Dubstep Rangers 1-1 Downsparrow
Bodkin Road 0-0 Coral Bay
Rochford Pilgrims 0-0 Brunyard FC
West End 1-1 Hartford Glade
Rookwall 1-0 Clay Terrace
Violence Tigers 1-1 Twelvetrees
Lazuli Diamonds 1-2 Norpike
MATCHDAY 26
Stamper Road 2-0 Sandrock
South Brill 0-0 Masculine Town
Downsparrow 3-2 Celebryant FC
Coral Bay 1-2 Blaze
Brunyard FC 2-2 Dubstep Rangers
Hartford Glade 2-2 Bodkin Road
Clay Terrace 0-1 Rochford Pilgrims
Twelvetrees 0-2 West End
Norpike 0-2 Rookwall
Lazuli Diamonds 1-5 Violence Tigers
MATCHDAY 27
Sandrock 0-1 South Brill
Stamper Road 1-1 Downsparrow
Masculine Town 3-0 Coral Bay
Celebryant FC 1-3 Brunyard FC
Blaze 1-1 Hartford Glade
Dubstep Rangers 2-1 Clay Terrace
Bodkin Road 1-1 Twelvetrees
Rochford Pilgrims 2-0 Norpike
West End 1-2 Lazuli Diamonds
Rookwall 1-1 Violence Tigers
MATCHDAY 28
Downsparrow 2-0 Sandrock
Coral Bay 1-1 South Brill
Brunyard FC 3-1 Stamper Road
Hartford Glade 2-0 Masculine Town
Clay Terrace 0-3 Celebryant FC
Twelvetrees 1-3 Blaze
Norpike 1-2 Dubstep Rangers
Lazuli Diamonds 2-1 Bodkin Road
Violence Tigers 2-1 Rochford Pilgrims
Rookwall 1-0 West End
MATCHDAY 29
Sandrock 0-0 Coral Bay
Downsparrow 1-0 Brunyard FC
South Brill 1-1 Hartford Glade
Stamper Road 1-1 Clay Terrace
Masculine Town 1-0 Twelvetrees
Celebryant FC 2-2 Norpike
Blaze 2-0 Lazuli Diamonds
Dubstep Rangers 4-1 Violence Tigers
Bodkin Road 0-3 Rookwall
Rochford Pilgrims 2-0 West End
MATCHDAY 30
Brunyard FC 0-1 Sandrock
Hartford Glade 2-1 Coral Bay
Clay Terrace 0-2 Downsparrow
Twelvetrees 1-0 South Brill
Norpike 0-1 Stamper Road
Lazuli Diamonds 1-2 Masculine Town
Violence Tigers 1-0 Celebryant FC
Rookwall 1-2 Blaze
West End 1-4 Dubstep Rangers
Rochford Pilgrims 2-0 Bodkin Road
MATCHDAY 31
Sandrock 1-0 Hartford Glade
Brunyard FC 1-0 Clay Terrace
Coral Bay 2-0 Twelvetrees
Downsparrow 0-1 Norpike
South Brill 1-3 Lazuli Diamonds
Stamper Road 0-1 Violence Tigers
Masculine Town 1-0 Rookwall
Celebryant FC 1-1 West End
Blaze 1-0 Rochford Pilgrims
Dubstep Rangers 1-2 Bodkin Road
MATCHDAY 32
Clay Terrace 2-0 Sandrock
Twelvetrees 1-2 Hartford Glade
Norpike 0-2 Brunyard FC
Lazuli Diamonds 0-0 Coral Bay
Violence Tigers 4-0 Downsparrow
Rookwall 1-1 South Brill
West End 2-1 Stamper Road
Rochford Pilgrims 3-3 Masculine Town
Bodkin Road 1-1 Celebryant FC
Dubstep Rangers 0-1 Blaze
MATCHDAY 33
Sandrock 1-0 Twelvetrees
Clay Terrace 2-1 Norpike
Hartford Glade 0-5 Lazuli Diamonds
Brunyard FC 2-1 Violence Tigers
Coral Bay 1-0 Rookwall
Downsparrow 2-0 West End
South Brill 1-3 Rochford Pilgrims
Stamper Road 2-0 Bodkin Road
Masculine Town 0-3 Dubstep Rangers
Celebryant FC 1-2 Blaze
MATCHDAY 34
Norpike 1-1 Sandrock
Lazuli Diamonds 1-1 Twelvetrees
Violence Tigers 3-0 Clay Terrace
Rookwall 2-0 Hartford Glade
West End 2-1 Brunyard FC
Rochford Pilgrims 6-0 Coral Bay
Bodkin Road 2-3 Downsparrow
Dubstep Rangers 2-0 South Brill
Blaze 2-4 Stamper Road
Celebryant FC 1-3 Masculine Town

PREMIERSHIP
Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Starling 34 22 8 4 70 26 +44 74
2 AFC Treason 34 24 2 8 78 39 +39 74
3 Crisisbless 34 20 7 7 73 36 +37 67
4 Parrhesia United 34 19 6 9 59 41 +18 63

5 Sabrefell Athletic 34 18 8 8 75 42 +33 62
6 Sabrefell Moths 34 18 6 10 70 41 +29 60
7 Brinemouth 34 18 4 12 53 48 +5 58

8 Chenoworth Harriers 34 15 9 10 64 52 +12 54
9 Violence Chariots 34 16 3 15 64 55 +9 51
10 Creed United 34 13 11 10 40 39 +1 50
11 Vermillion Rage 34 13 11 10 53 56 -3 50
12 Bishop 34 12 10 12 39 37 +2 46
13 Newrook City 34 13 6 15 47 57 -10 45
14 Maximum Rovers 34 12 7 15 39 50 -11 43
15 North Laithland 34 13 4 17 54 67 -13 43
16 Coret Hawks 34 10 12 12 41 46 -5 42
17 Corvette Maulers 34 10 9 15 46 56 -10 39
18 Brookford Otters 34 10 8 16 50 57 -7 38
19 AFC Serpentine 34 9 10 15 45 64 -19 37
20 Chatswood 34 10 5 19 41 70 -29 35
21 Cranequin Wanderers 34 9 5 20 31 52 -21 32
22 Maximum City 34 5 13 16 36 55 -19 28
23 Goodfeather FC 34 7 4 23 34 76 -42 25
24 West Brinemouth 34 5 6 23 14 54 -40 21

FIRST DIVISION
Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Morningstar 34 23 3 8 73 31 +42 72
2 Armstrong 34 21 9 4 48 23 +25 72
3 Raven River 34 21 6 7 62 27 +35 69

4 Belgrave 34 21 6 7 70 37 +33 69
5 Sheridan 34 17 9 8 39 28 +11 60
6 Leichhardt 34 17 7 10 32 21 +11 58
7 Extreme Hills 34 16 8 10 58 41 +17 56
8 South Laithland 34 16 6 12 46 36 +10 54
9 Southfell United 34 14 10 10 56 46 +10 52
10 Crisisbless United 34 16 4 14 71 62 +9 52
11 Cypher Town 34 15 6 13 41 43 -2 51
12 Diamondqueen 34 13 11 10 35 26 +9 50
13 East Laithland Harriers 34 11 11 12 33 52 -19 44
14 Ritter Town 34 12 7 15 47 42 +5 43
15 Iron City 34 10 13 11 26 33 -7 43
16 Cranequin City 34 11 8 15 33 39 -6 41
17 Vermillion Wanderers 34 11 8 15 53 63 -10 41
18 North Sabrefell 34 9 7 18 40 51 -11 34
19 Martella Jazz 34 7 9 18 39 68 -29 30
20 Coret Rovers 34 6 11 17 35 62 -27 29
21 Rochford 34 7 7 20 26 53 -27 28
22 Locksley 34 7 6 21 38 72 -34 27
23 AFC Shale 34 5 11 18 19 38 -19 26
24 Riverkey 34 5 11 18 27 53 -26 26

SECOND DIVISION
Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Greygate 34 26 7 1 60 21 +39 85
2 Hackett 34 21 6 7 60 31 +29 69
3 Mantlegrove 34 16 12 6 50 33 +17 60
4 Sutcroft 34 17 8 9 50 29 +21 59

5 Chenoworth Rovers 34 17 8 9 44 29 +15 59
6 Crossroads Town 34 16 9 9 48 35 +13 57
7 AFC Corvistone 34 15 6 13 67 46 +21 51
8 Crisisbless Athletic 34 15 5 14 43 39 +4 50
9 West Hook 34 13 11 10 38 36 +2 50
10 Project +90 34 14 8 12 46 48 -2 50
11 Brindleton 34 14 6 14 45 41 +4 48
12 Iron United 34 14 5 15 46 41 +5 47
13 South Parrhesia 34 13 8 13 45 45 +0 47
14 Boleyn Town 34 13 7 14 38 44 -6 46
15 Stonegrave 34 12 9 13 28 28 +0 45
16 Dross Rovers 34 12 7 15 35 39 -4 43
17 Southriver 34 11 8 15 39 46 -7 41
18 Iberia Chenoworth 34 11 7 16 56 73 -17 40
19 Rhagant Schadenfreude 34 10 9 15 28 32 -4 39
20 Kensey Town 34 10 9 15 41 47 -6 39
21 Strephonage 34 9 4 21 24 55 -31 31
22 Brookway Town 34 9 3 22 37 70 -33 30
23 Senway Town 34 6 8 20 35 62 -27 26
24 Ox River United 34 5 8 21 22 55 -33 23

THIRD DIVISION
Pos Team                       P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 The Strongest 34 24 6 4 83 30 +53 78
2 Pillars of Southfell 34 21 7 6 53 29 +24 70
3 Dartmouth Terriers 34 21 6 7 68 32 +36 69
4 Rushe United 34 16 7 11 65 49 +16 55

5 Long Lake 34 15 9 10 48 31 +17 54
6 Kommissar 34 15 8 11 57 44 +13 53
7 North Dubstep 34 14 10 10 45 34 +11 52
8 Sutcroft Athletic 34 14 10 10 43 35 +8 52
9 Falston Town 34 14 8 12 47 32 +15 50
10 Gridlock Rovers 34 13 10 11 49 43 +6 49
11 Peregrine 34 14 5 15 52 59 -7 47
12 Mainstream Fist 34 14 4 16 48 56 -8 46
13 Bellamy 34 12 9 13 34 36 -2 45
14 Falston United 34 12 8 14 41 47 -6 44
15 Fenland Albion 34 12 7 15 30 41 -11 43
16 Ringway 34 12 6 16 31 42 -11 42
17 The Hanged Man 34 10 11 13 29 30 -1 41
18 Fully Sick XI 34 11 8 15 53 62 -9 41
19 Ballardine FC 34 9 12 13 51 55 -4 39
20 Fischer 34 9 12 13 40 54 -14 39
21 Gridlock East 34 9 8 17 34 55 -21 35
22 Corby Hubris 34 9 4 21 45 81 -36 31
23 Grovebank 34 8 5 21 31 56 -25 29
24 Lackerrun 34 7 6 21 46 90 -44 27

CONFERENCE WEST
Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Mapleford 34 23 6 5 69 36 +33 75
2 Gosforth Swans 34 19 6 9 62 45 +17 63
3 Alliance Barossia 34 18 8 8 44 27 +17 62
4 Gonen's Bridge 34 17 10 7 55 26 +29 61

5 Harrington 34 16 8 10 64 41 +23 56
6 Boltcroft Thorns 34 16 8 10 67 54 +13 56
7 Gridlock 34 15 8 11 41 26 +15 53
8 Forge Carpenters 34 14 11 9 39 24 +15 53
9 Swag Hill Rovers 34 15 7 12 61 58 +3 52
10 Franchise FC 34 15 7 12 51 54 -3 52
11 FC Seierstad 34 12 6 16 47 53 -6 42
12 Norton Road 34 12 4 18 38 51 -13 40
13 Nay Town 34 10 10 14 41 58 -17 40
14 Sirencall FC 34 11 5 18 52 57 -5 38
15 Courser 34 10 8 16 36 51 -15 38
16 Ramsay 34 11 5 18 34 50 -16 38
17 Corinthians No Longer 34 10 5 19 56 68 -12 35
18 Vermillion Spite 34 9 8 17 49 71 -22 35
19 Tryst Athletic 34 9 8 17 35 57 -22 35
20 Camwell Road 34 7 4 23 30 64 -34 25

CONFERENCE EAST
Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Lazuli Diamonds 34 18 9 7 55 33 +22 63
2 Downsparrow 34 17 11 6 40 29 +11 62

3 Brunyard FC 34 17 9 8 59 37 +22 60
4 Dubstep Rangers 34 16 12 6 54 36 +18 60
5 Rochford Pilgrims 34 17 8 9 65 32 +33 59
6 Blaze 34 17 8 9 59 49 +10 59
7 Rookwall 34 15 11 8 43 31 +12 56
8 Coral Bay 34 13 12 9 35 37 -2 51
9 Masculine Town 34 15 5 14 51 41 +10 50
10 Stamper Road 34 14 6 14 51 49 +2 48
11 Bodkin Road 34 11 13 10 37 37 +0 46
12 Hartford Glade 34 12 9 13 39 41 -2 45
13 South Brill 34 10 13 11 36 38 -2 43
14 Twelvetrees 34 9 11 14 29 40 -11 38
15 Violence Tigers 34 9 8 17 38 53 -15 35
16 Celebryant FC 34 8 9 17 45 59 -14 33
17 Sandrock 34 7 12 15 18 42 -24 33
18 Norpike 34 8 7 19 31 48 -17 31
19 West End 34 8 7 19 31 57 -26 31
20 Clay Terrace 34 5 8 21 14 41 -27 23
Last edited by Nephara on Sun Jan 15, 2017 10:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Nephara » Sat Jan 21, 2017 3:16 pm

Brookford Otters 1-1 Sabrefell Athletic
South Laithland 0-2 Cranequin Wanderers
North Laithland 2-1 Starling
Raven River 2-3 Vermillion Rage

No huge surprises. Sabrefell Athletic are arguably a little fortunate to get away with an away draw, but there’s plenty of chances at both ends and the undisputed man of the match is Sarracena, breaking down the middle of the park and sorting everything out. Lucassen misses a bevy of chances but does, importantly, shin one in eventually. Cranequin Wanderers have too much for the Southrons, even away - Gareth Teixeira is a terror against First Division defence, and even with Tobias Clarke rested, he gets the supply he needs to put home a brace. A sloppy pass from Julian Parable lets Ceni youth international Cesar Corvalan steal in, nudge past Serjeant and fire past Sinstadt for his first goal for his club, but an impressive second-half turnaround lets Tsikitsiris (back in attacking midfield) and Kistler grant the Spiders a narrow advantage. River cause Vermillion plenty of issues as 21-year old Cassadore impresses, but Cheney Bittencourt’s side tire visibly in the last ten minutes and fold, Sigrid Cooper beaten at her near post by Coraline Madrigal’s hopeful effort before a lapse of concentration by Hannes Caravel gives Tipio Runen free reign to notch up a winner.

AFC Treason 1-0 Alianza FC

A typically resolute performance from the Stags does well to hold Alianza at bay, but Randall will be less than pleased with the failure to score more than a single goal after a similarly resolute performance from the Guayabalense. Still, Cantor blazes home into the top corner from 20 yards, doing as she always does, to give the side a healthy advantage leading into the away leg.

Brinemouth 4-3 Starling
Brookford Otters 2-2 Coret Hawks
Creed United 2-2 Violence Chariots
Newrook City 2-1 Vermillion Rage
Parrhesia United 3-2 AFC Treason
Bishop 0-1 Sabrefell Moths
Chenoworth Harriers 1-1 Sabrefell Athletic
Goodfeather FC 0-1 North Laithland
West Brinemouth 1-1 Maximum Rovers
Corvette Maulers 3-2 Maximum City
AFC Serpentine 3-2 Crisisbless
Cranequin Wanderers 2-0 Chatswood

After resting a lot of players between the two CEDC legs, Treason’s second-string are overpowered by the resplendent, confident Saints, former North Laithland man Atherton Telfair with two first-half headers. The Stags do get back into the match, Kuijer pulling one back from nothing before the screws really start to turn and Sabrine Portsgate scuffs home an ugly equaliser, but they overextend in attack and Parrhesia’s lightning-quick wingers strike decisively, Berisha leaving Lindgren in her dust before a long diagonal pass leaves Fletcher stranded in no-man’s land as Rouseff rifles it into the bottom corner. But they’re done a significant favour elsewhere as many of the other top sides slip, a vintage Brinemouth performance overpowering Starling as Gosforth drags them over the line in a 4-3 end-to-end thriller, Serpentine’s slight technical sloppiness patched over by their willingness to run forever and Carrie Mason’s crisp brace in a 3-2 win over a shellshocked Crisisbless and Athletic a little fortunate to escape Chenoworth with a draw, thanks to Avila Wardenier’s flying header. At the bottom of the table, Cranequin draw level on points with Chatswood and leapfrog them to safety on goal difference, never looking threatened at the back as a thumping free kick from Clarke and a swerving volley from Bismarck put a flourish on a deserved win for the Wanderers. Goodfeather defend tightly for once but can’t actually score in a 1-0 defeat and Maximum City lose a pulsating match to the Maulers, cutting them only further adrift.

Sabrefell Athletic 5-1 Brookford Otters
Sabrefell Athletic win 6-2 on aggregate.

Cranequin Wanderers 2-1 South Laithland
Cranequin Wanderers win 4-1 on aggregate.

Starling 1-1 North Laithland
North Laithland win 3-2 on aggregate.

Vermillion Rage 2-4 Raven River
Raven River win 6-5 on aggregate.

An Athletic win was always anticipated, but 5-1? Avila Wardenier, who’s played her way into a rotation role up front, scores a silky hat-trick but it’s Olenna Darke, expected to leave at the end of the season, who pulls the strings in a more advanced role. Russ Cohurst’s far-post header off a beautiful diagonal cross from in-demand left-back Raquel Woods is an early shock in Cranequin, but the Wanderers get the job done in the end - Matt Payne levelling the scores, young Dakota Blaylock finishing off an impressive 90 minutes with a first-touch flick past Yossarian. A dull 1-1 draw between Starling and North Laithland is enough for the resilient Spiders to edge through, though they’re indebted to the shakiness of Melissa Aspen between the posts for Starling. The only real shock comes in Vermillion, as Raven River refuse to back down - even with an 8th-minute piledriver from Alemane puts the Rage even more firmly in the drivers’ seat. Apotheosis Kaskanis, a recent and wildly successful signing up front, scores a quickfire brace in retaliation before Adrian Heffernan is wrestled to the ground during a corner - the veteran captain Kendall converts the penalty crisply, on her 33rd birthday. Handed a rare start, Joscelyn Ambrose pulls one back in the 56th minute to level the aggregate scoreline, but a flying header from Kaskanis seals the match for the Ferrymen late on.

Alianza FC 2-0 AFC Treason
Alianza FC win 2-1 on aggregate.

It’s Alianza in the CEdC. The inevitable happens.

Coret Hawks 2-1 Brinemouth
Violence Chariots 3-2 Starling
Vermillion Rage 0-3 Brookford Otters
AFC Treason 1-0 Creed United
Sabrefell Moths 0-0 Newrook City
Sabrefell Athletic 2-1 Parrhesia United
North Laithland 2-1 Bishop
Maximum Rovers 1-2 Chenoworth Harriers
Maximum City 1-2 Goodfeather FC
Crisisbless 3-0 West Brinemouth
Chatswood 0-4 Corvette Maulers
Cranequin Wanderers 1-1 AFC Serpentine

Maximum City blow a much-needed chance to clamber closer to safety, Niko Rosmalen basically kicked into the dirt by Candelario and though Corvell scores a fortunate opener for the Smiths, Lynwood’s brace ensures a deserved Quaker victory. But although an insipid Chatswood are annihilated 4-0 by the inspired Maulers, Cranequin’s dull draw against Serpentine means the Quakers and Smiths are eight points from safety. West Brinemouth, brutalised 3-0 by a slick-as-ever Crisisbless outfit, are surely doomed by this stage. Olaf Womack, meanwhile, earns somehow only his second red card of the season. The scores locked at 1-1 against Athletic and seemingly simmering to a close, Womack somehow defends a corner with a flying kick. To Bronwyn Gerhardt’s face. Lucassen slots home the penalty and pegs the Saints back, but Spike Turnbull’s side is still in a good position for an unlikely top four berth.

Brinemouth 1-1 Violence Chariots
Coret Hawks 6-1 Vermillion Rage
Starling 2-4 AFC Treason
Brookford Otters 3-3 Sabrefell Moths
Creed United 0-1 Sabrefell Athletic
Newrook City 1-0 North Laithland
Parrhesia United 5-2 Maximum Rovers
Bishop 1-0 Maximum City
Chenoworth Harriers 2-5 Crisisbless
Goodfeather FC 0-1 Chatswood
West Brinemouth 0-1 Cranequin Wanderers
Corvette Maulers 1-1 AFC Serpentine

Coret might just be back in business. They have had a thoroughly disappointing season, and are basically out of any kind of running, but… Gabriella Antonio’s brace took them past Brinemouth last week, and now another brace - this time with help from McDonald (twice, with two assists), Montague and Fletchclair sees them annihilate Vermillion. In response, Purrington slams home a direct free kick but that’s about it - cultural icon she may be, but at 33, Purrington is sadly done at the top level. At the top of the table, not even the Narrative can save the Passerines - you just knew it wasn’t going to go their way when in the third minutes, after Andisori was cleaned out by Katskalidis, Cautcher’s penalty slammed into the crossbar. Cautcher always scores against Treason. That’s how it’s meant to go. Asif picks up the slack, but Hargrave is put under siege, and the normally indomitable defence is found wanting - Treason win 4-2 in a massive boost to their title defence ambitions, though Crisisbless, annihilating Chenoworth 5-2 away from home, are still well in the hunt. At the bottom of the table, extremely boring away wins for Chatswood and Cranequin over Goodfeather and West Brinemouth (with Maximum City also beaten easily by Bishop) just increase the gap further.

Vermillion Rage 1-1 Brinemouth
AFC Treason 2-0 Violence Chariots
Sabrefell Moths 3-1 Coret Hawks
Sabrefell Athletic 2-1 Starling
North Laithland 2-4 Brookford Otters
Maximum Rovers 1-2 Creed United
Maximum City 1-1 Newrook City
Crisisbless 6-1 Parrhesia United
Chatswood 1-1 Bishop
Cranequin Wanderers 2-2 Chenoworth Harriers
AFC Serpentine 1-1 Goodfeather FC
Corvette Maulers 1-0 West Brinemouth

Starling are choking, badly. They don’t play badly against Athletic - they aren’t even playing badly at all in general - but as they’re pressing for a win late on it just takes Koehler missing the inside run of Lovelock, who Ferryman finds with a raking pass and who provides her side with a great win, and dooms Starling to a fifth successive defeat. They’ve scored in all of them, and four have just been by the one goal, but… it’s not pretty, and the Stags press the advantage in a comfortable win over the Chariots. Crisisbless dent the Saints’ ambitions and significantly aid their own as Parrhesia just have no answer to the Heelers’ lethal midfield. Urso in particular leads by example, scoring twice and assisting twice in an eventual 6-1 win - but the Saints missed a penalty that could’ve put them 2-1 ahead, Telfair lashing it against the crossbar.

Brinemouth 1-1 AFC Treason
Vermillion Rage 3-1 Sabrefell Moths
Violence Chariots 3-0 Sabrefell Athletic
Coret Hawks 0-1 North Laithland
Starling 4-0 Maximum Rovers
Brookford Otters 4-1 Maximum City
Creed United 2-1 Crisisbless
Newrook City 3-0 Chatswood
Parrhesia United 2-0 Cranequin Wanderers
Bishop 1-2 AFC Serpentine
Chenoworth Harriers 4-2 Corvette Maulers
Goodfeather FC 0-3 West Brinemouth

Chatswood are conclusively beaten by a Sanna-inspired Newrook while the Saints take down Cranequin and Brookford jump up and down on Maximum City. The Quakers have West Brinemouth at home. This is surely Goodfeather’s time to shine, if anything ever will be! Aaaand… they are terrible, instead! The Gulls sit back, wait for Goodfeather’s weak, overthought attacks to break down and spring counterattack after counterattack. Laura Weiler scores a mighty fourth league goal of the season, assisted by some midfielder they called up from the academy called Gerwyn Clarke, before Almerich and Logan Taylor ensure a comfortable 3-0 win. In related news, it’s made official that Sebastian Seward’s contract will not be extended into the new season. Starling snap their five defeats on the spin (they’ve only had eight all season!) by trashing Maximum Rovers 4-0 in a game where Cautcher, related, snaps her five-game goal drought with a handy brace. It’s actually Josie Sutton who opens the scoring with her first of the season, and Malachi Gallagher who finishes them off. The Chariots have handily the best of the east Sabrefell derby, a typically fiery affair where their case is aided by a reckless challenge and sending-off for Levin Castellan - their structure collapses, the Chariots take full advantage and Siorrha’Asione makes a typical ass of himself in front of the away fans. Finally, the Brinemouth/Treason silk vs. steel match isn’t terribly interesting, but both sides seemed content enough to take the point.

Sabrefell Moths 3-2 Brinemouth
Sabrefell Athletic 2-3 AFC Treason
North Laithland 0-0 Vermillion Rage
Maximum Rovers 1-1 Violence Chariots
Maximum City 1-0 Coret Hawks
Crisisbless 2-1 Starling
Chatswood 2-4 Brookford Otters
Cranequin Wanderers 1-0 Creed United
AFC Serpentine 2-2 Newrook City
Corvette Maulers 1-1 Parrhesia United
West Brinemouth 0-1 Bishop
Goodfeather FC 1-2 Chenoworth Harriers

Perhaps visiting Crisisbless wasn’t the easiest of jobs for Starling, but they’re still right back to losing ways in what is starting to feel like a proper derby. Nobody snaps into tackles faster or better than Lauro Tedesco, an underrated part of Portia Thrift’s machine, but it’s the ability of Ozaria Gandhi to find the bottom corners from anywhere in the box that really causes trouble, as well as the ability of the Heeler midfield to find her unerringly. Coret’s resurgence is put rather damply to bed with a third straight defeat - most damningly of all, this one’s to lowly Maximum City. It feels somewhat redundant to keep trumpeting Niko Rosmalen’s name, and yet it continues to be him providing everything good the club does. But while he certainly creates enough chances for others, none are converted - it ends up coming down to a scuffle over a long Sable throw, that Dejan Corvell ends up getting on the end of and stabbing home.

AFC Treason 3-0 Yuba United
Bastion 1-1 Brinemouth

Two good results for Nephara - in fact, after Treason blew Yuba out of the water, a single goal in the next leg will basically ensure their progression. The margins are tighter for Brinemouth, Dion Underwood’s shot from distance was probably saveable by Vintner, but a frenzied last twenty minutes ultimately sees Dre Roenoujya’s curling strike give the Dockers the away goal they deserve. They’ll feel confident about grabbing a home win.

Brinemouth 4-2 Sabrefell Athletic
Sabrefell Moths 4-1 North Laithland
AFC Treason 3-1 Maximum Rovers
Vermillion Rage 3-1 Maximum City
Violence Chariots 0-1 Crisisbless
Coret Hawks 0-1 Chatswood
Starling 2-1 Cranequin Wanderers
Brookford Otters 5-1 AFC Serpentine
Creed United 2-0 Corvette Maulers
Newrook City 1-0 West Brinemouth
Parrhesia United 6-1 Goodfeather FC
Bishop 0-1 Chenoworth Harriers

Another punishing blow for the Quakers’ rapidly-slimming ambitions of survival, as the Saints outrun, out-think and outfight them in a painful 90 minutes. The midfield, supposedly their only asset, is battered into the earth by Womack while the quick and willing Rowan and Rademacher take the ball forward, make things happen. And, while Lynwood as usual finishes her one chance - and the 31-year old striker’s made her intentions to move abroad at the end of the season clear - Raven Forster lets in six at the other end. Brookford, similarly, punish Serpentine 5-1. They’ve struggled this season and will definitely need to make some changes in the off-season, but although they’ve been at the wrong end of the table, they’ve never been in serious danger - not as long as they’ve had someone the quality of Nikita Loeher banging them in up front, though veteran captain Brigid Kestrel’s the star of this particular fixture.

Yuba United 2-0 AFC Treason
AFC Treason win 3-2 on aggregate.

Brinemouth 0-1 Bastion
Bastion win 2-1 on aggregate.

The Stags almost screw it up - almost. In truth, they don’t exert enough pressure going forward, get caught out a couple of times early on and Fletcher needs to make a few good saves to keep his side in the game - but the Stags settle in the second half, and they retain a dull stalemate to bring the game to a close. Nervy, but at least they made it. Brinemouth, sadly, did not - Roenoujya may have been the hero of the first leg but he was badly run ragged by Peter Morrison in the second, and the Eura international winger’s crosses eventually pay off with Lofty Jones flicking on a header to Underwood at the far post, who has a tap-in from three yards.

North Laithland 1-1 Brinemouth
Maximum Rovers 3-2 Sabrefell Athletic
Maximum City 0-5 Sabrefell Moths
Crisisbless 1-2 AFC Treason
Chatswood 1-8 Vermillion Rage
Cranequin Wanderers 2-0 Violence Chariots
AFC Serpentine 3-3 Coret Hawks
Corvette Maulers 0-1 Starling
West Brinemouth 1-2 Brookford Otters
Goodfeather FC 1-1 Creed United
Chenoworth Harriers 3-0 Newrook City
Bishop 2-1 Parrhesia United

This is the last chance for Crisisbless, really. Win here, and pull the Stags back to a maybe-manageable five-point lead. They go out bravely, swinging hard for the fences, peg the Stags’ backs to the wall, force Gideon Fletcher into a couple of impressive saves… and concede in the tenth minute to a Cantor thunderblast. While they’re still reeling, Tarashaj makes it worse, and it takes until half-time for them to relax and refocus. They’re dominant in the second half, but struggle to penetrate against Ben Randall’s side which knows exactly what it’s doing, and though Anika Redmayne does manage to pull one back? There’s no second. Treason are now eleven points clear of Crisisbless, at the front of the table. Chatswood have a home tie to try and pull their way back to safetOH MY GOD. Well, it was already 1-0 to Vermillion, and then Chatswood had Gareth Flynn sent off for a headbutt and it just kind of… escalated. Catherine Purrington’s been under fire for her poor form this season but when totally unmarked she is essentially hell to deal with - as Helena Middlesbrough finds out, en route to an 8-1 defeat at home. To make matters worse? Cranequin’s direct physicality and staunch defence guides them to a 2-0 win over the Chariots, isolating the bottom 4 further. That includes the Smiths - not only are they annihilated 5-0 at home by the Moths in a game they really needed to win, but a spirited performance from Catheline Harper’s Rovers and resulting victory over Athletic might as well paint the town orange and black for the night.

Sabrefell Athletic 3-1 Cranequin Wanderers
North Laithland 3-1 Raven River

Predictable enough results. Athletic want a trophy - admittedly, so do a probably-safe Wanderers, giving up on the pretense of their ropey Cup goalkeeper Rourke. But Luna Castelen isn’t really great either, and should never have let Alexa Ferryman’s low, dipping strike slip under her. Tobias Clarke does what he does, and Connor Scuffett heads the cross into the net - a 40th-minute equaliser, but Athletic go back ahead two minutes later when their own veteran winger, Oehman, goes it himself and manages to catch Castelen out at her near post. Nothing she could do against the final nail in their coffin, though - substitute centre-half Whyteleafe can’t get out of the way of a low, raking Oehman cross, and accidentally bundles it into her own net. Raven River are gamely up for the challenge against North Laithland, but the Spiders are too good for them in the first half. They run circles around the Ferrymen, but only Tsikitsiris can actually find the net, with Matt Bowerman (again, normally the league number 1) resolute between the posts. More holes open up on both sides in the second half, and while Rui Mokanga’s brace seems to have killed River’s chances off, Zivka Petkovic pulls one back and leaves the Ravens with a shot.

Brinemouth 0-2 Maximum Rovers
North Laithland 2-0 Maximum City
Sabrefell Athletic 2-1 Crisisbless
Sabrefell Moths 2-1 Chatswood
AFC Treason 4-0 Cranequin Wanderers
Vermillion Rage 1-1 AFC Serpentine
Violence Chariots 1-0 Corvette Maulers
Coret Hawks 1-0 West Brinemouth
Starling 0-1 Goodfeather FC
Brookford Otters 0-3 Chenoworth Harriers
Creed United 2-0 Bishop
Newrook City 2-0 Parrhesia United

The trophy is wheeled outside the tunnel. The sides walk out - red and white hoops, black shorts, white socks, staring hungrily at it as they pass. Green shirts, white shorts and dark red socks (a set heavily rested for the forthcoming Cup tie, at any rate) glance nervously at their opponents. It’s clear who will win, and the Stags do not disappoint. 4-0 is the final score, and Ben Randall lifts the trophy. Even had they not, a clearly nervous Crisisbless blow it, too many memory lapses costing them against an Athletic side on a four-game losing streak - now broken, Avila Wardenier scoring a brace with a starting place that now looks her own as the Reds look to cling onto a Champions’ Cup spot as well as finding their way to a trophy.

Cranequin Wanderers 1-2 Sabrefell Athletic
Sabrefell Athletic win 5-2 on aggregate.

Raven River 3-2 North Laithland
North Laithland win 5-4 on aggregate.

In the end, the Wanderers don’t have what it takes - a driven Athletic play the patient game, stopping them from breaking out on the counterattack and when the Wanderers finally do open up a little 30 minutes in they almost immediately pay for it when Ferryman slips Wardenier through on goal and the young striker makes no mistake. Bereveskos puts the tie to rest on the stroke of half-time, but Heron Kendall puts the goalscoring touch on a strong cameo off the bench to at least remind the Wanderers’ fans that they have the makings of a decent team here. River immediately turn up the heat on the Spiders, a first-half Kaskanis brace putting the Ferrymen up on aggregate… but a spirited comeback in the second half gives Laithland the edge, Rui Mokanga enjoying a resurgence in form entirely restricted to these two legs. The unlikely source of rightback Mbukane puts River back in the lead for the night, but it’s the Spiders who will be meeting Athletic in the final.

Maximum City 1-4 Brinemouth
Crisisbless 2-0 Maximum Rovers
Chatswood 0-2 North Laithland
Cranequin Wanderers 2-2 Sabrefell Athletic
AFC Serpentine 1-2 Sabrefell Moths
Corvette Maulers 0-4 AFC Treason
West Brinemouth 4-5 Vermillion Rage
Goodfeather FC 0-0 Violence Chariots
Chenoworth Harriers 0-1 Coret Hawks
Bishop 2-0 Starling
Parrhesia United 0-1 Brookford Otters
Newrook City 0-0 Creed United

The bottom three are finally confirmed - the bottom four, all but. Chatswood are beaten all too comfortably by North Laithland, Goodfeather surprisingly manage a clean sheet against the Chariots but the scoreless draw isn’t enough while Maximum City get destroyed by Brinemouth. Sebastian Seward will keep the job, somewhat controversially, while Providence Mitford is told to pack her bags immediately. City in particular… is bizarre, in a way. This side was one match from winning the league within the modern era, and was one of a handful of sides to have been in the Premiership throughout… but now they’re relegated, and as the news filters through to Corvette as they’re beaten down 4-0 by the champions (a match that inspired many comparisons to the Maulers’ spoiling act against Brinemouth years ago before the match, and none after) the away fans cheer, as do the Rovers in Crisisbless as their own team trails 2-0. City were not a popular side, but, in a way, they will be missed. West Brinemouth probably won’t be - they’ve been out for a while now, but at least go down swinging to Vermillion Rage in a 4-5 stunner. Kunigunde Almerich scores a brace to celebrate her re-invention as a quick striker, and she can’t resist celebrating against her hometown club, which goes down about as well as you’d expect.

AFC Treason 1-1 Bastion

Another homecoming for Nephara international Kieran Ritter, and after resolute defending against Brinemouth (and here) he batters home a header against the Stags, from an excellent Morrison set piece. But the Stags bite back and have the best of the remainder of the match - Cantor and Tarashaj come close, Douglas makes a brilliant save to deny Vyntra but in the end it is, predictably, Roddy Fraser making the difference for Treason. Can they succeed where Brinemouth failed?.

Brinemouth 1-2 Crisisbless
Maximum City 0-0 Chatswood
Maximum Rovers 1-0 Cranequin Wanderers
North Laithland 2-1 AFC Serpentine
Sabrefell Athletic 1-1 Corvette Maulers
Sabrefell Moths 3-1 West Brinemouth
AFC Treason 0-1 Goodfeather FC
Vermillion Rage 1-0 Chenoworth Harriers
Violence Chariots 1-1 Bishop
Coret Hawks 4-3 Parrhesia United
Starling 1-2 Newrook City
Brookford Otters 1-2 Creed United

For the first time in a while, everything’s basically sorted out in time for the end of the season. Ben Randall rests his entire first-team and the replacements, including a couple of youth prospects, are ingloriously beaten by Goodfeather 1-0. Who cares? His side are still more than worthy champions. Crisisbless, the Moths and Starling (despite yet another defeat) round out the Champions’ Cup places. Athletic, eyes firmly on the Cup final, just about manage a home draw against Corvette - still better than 6th-placed Parrhesia, 7th Harriers and 8th Brinemouth, all of whom lose. Brinemouth were spirited in defeat to Crisisbless, Kyron Bartley’s scorpion kick a goal of the season contender, but barring some absurdity of goal difference they will not be in UICA next season. With Konrad Gosforth almost certain to leave this time, there’s a lot of soul-searching to do.

Things are pretty much sorted out at the bottom, too - Cranequin Wanderers might only manage a tepid 1-0 defeat to the Rovers, but Chatswood are even harder on the eye as they slump to a scoreless draw against the Smiths. They’re locked into 21st now, while the bottom three of Goodfeather, Maximum City and West Brinemouth have been confirmed for a while. Credit is due to the likes of Newrook City (11th), Bishop (15th) and Maximum Rovers (17th), as well, who were never even in the relegation picture.

With a cagey 1-0 win over Southfell, Raven River have all-but-mathematically secured the First Division title with some assertive, technically proficient football courtesy of Cheney Bittencourt’s guidance. Armstrong did their part, at least - Damian Harbour has basically dragged them right back into the Premiership, but the form of their disciplined defence didn’t hurt, either. They manage to drag Belgrave down with a 1-0 away win of their own, and Morningstar’s pulsating and violent 2-2 draw with the Southrons keeps Emery Lineker’s physical outfit in third, with Belgrave a point back in fourth. They’ll have to contend with fierce rivals Sheridan on the last matchday, too…

At the bottom of the First Division table, a number of sides (seven, specifically) are falling well short of getting a point per game, but the bottom four are confirmed. Shale and Rochford, two counterpunching small-town clubs who managed to stamp themselves on the map in the Premiership’s early days (Rochford, admittedly, only in yo-yo form) have slid down and will be missed, while ambitious Riverkey and Locksley, both far more attack-minded outfits, will be pegged back significantly by relegation where they’d hoped to consolidate. It’s worth noting that both Rochford and Shale were out of the top flight for good by the time Riverkey first washed up in the newly-formed Conference East. It would be an injustice not to mention events in the Second Division - specifically Greygate, beaten only once all season (back in their ninth match), cantering to a comfortable victory with a stunning 114 points. This despite selling last season’s top scorer in the window, Niko Boldman, to Morningstar - well, they reinvested well, and should make a mark on the second tier. Not making a mark on the second tier will be Corvistone, who, for all their big talk, limp to ninth.

Bastion 0-0 AFC Treason
1-1 on aggregate. Bastion progress on the away goals rule.

No, the Stags cannot. A dull, dreary stalemate, two excellent defences and two excellent goalkeepers, but Treason need a goal and they simply cannot force one past Jeffrey Douglas. Bastion go to meet Real Azuris in the final - a remarkable feat for Real, given that no Cosumarite side had ever made it to even the Champions’ Cup knockout stages before their run this cycle.

MATCHDAY 35
Rochford 0-4 Diamondqueen
Southfell United 0-0 Cranequin City
Raven River 2-2 Cypher Town
Crisisbless United 4-1 Belgrave
AFC Shale 2-0 Morningstar
Sheridan 1-1 Iron City
Armstrong 3-0 Coret Rovers
South Laithland 1-2 Ritter Town
East Laithland Harriers 2-3 Vermillion Wanderers
Riverkey 0-1 Extreme Hills
North Sabrefell 2-2 Leichhardt
Locksley 2-1 Martella Jazz
MATCHDAY 36
Cranequin City 0-0 Rochford
Cypher Town 1-0 Diamondqueen
Belgrave 4-0 Southfell United
Morningstar 2-3 Raven River
Iron City 1-1 Crisisbless United
Coret Rovers 2-0 AFC Shale
Ritter Town 0-1 Sheridan
Vermillion Wanderers 3-0 Armstrong
Extreme Hills 1-0 South Laithland
Leichhardt 4-1 East Laithland Harriers
Martella Jazz 1-1 Riverkey
Locksley 2-0 North Sabrefell
MATCHDAY 37
Rochford 1-1 Cypher Town
Cranequin City 1-0 Belgrave
Diamondqueen 3-1 Morningstar
Southfell United 2-1 Iron City
Raven River 7-0 Coret Rovers
Crisisbless United 0-2 Ritter Town
AFC Shale 4-1 Vermillion Wanderers
Sheridan 0-0 Extreme Hills
Armstrong 0-2 Leichhardt
South Laithland 0-2 Martella Jazz
East Laithland Harriers 0-0 Locksley
Riverkey 2-2 North Sabrefell
MATCHDAY 38
Belgrave 1-0 Rochford
Morningstar 1-1 Cypher Town
Iron City 1-0 Cranequin City
Coret Rovers 0-2 Diamondqueen
Ritter Town 1-4 Southfell United
Vermillion Wanderers 2-2 Raven River
Extreme Hills 1-1 Crisisbless United
Leichhardt 1-1 AFC Shale
Martella Jazz 0-2 Sheridan
Locksley 0-2 Armstrong
North Sabrefell 0-4 South Laithland
Riverkey 3-0 East Laithland Harriers
MATCHDAY 39
Rochford 1-1 Morningstar
Belgrave 2-3 Iron City
Cypher Town 2-0 Coret Rovers
Cranequin City 1-2 Ritter Town
Diamondqueen 3-0 Vermillion Wanderers
Southfell United 1-1 Extreme Hills
Raven River 1-1 Leichhardt
Crisisbless United 3-3 Martella Jazz
AFC Shale 1-0 Locksley
Sheridan 1-0 North Sabrefell
Armstrong 0-2 Riverkey
South Laithland 2-1 East Laithland Harriers
MATCHDAY 40
Iron City 1-1 Rochford
Coret Rovers 0-1 Morningstar
Ritter Town 0-1 Belgrave
Vermillion Wanderers 1-0 Cypher Town
Extreme Hills 1-1 Cranequin City
Leichhardt 2-0 Diamondqueen
Martella Jazz 1-5 Southfell United
Locksley 3-3 Raven River
North Sabrefell 0-1 Crisisbless United
Riverkey 1-1 AFC Shale
East Laithland Harriers 0-3 Sheridan
South Laithland 2-0 Armstrong
MATCHDAY 41
Rochford 1-3 Coret Rovers
Iron City 0-1 Ritter Town
Morningstar 2-1 Vermillion Wanderers
Belgrave 3-1 Extreme Hills
Cypher Town 0-0 Leichhardt
Cranequin City 1-1 Martella Jazz
Diamondqueen 2-1 Locksley
Southfell United 3-6 North Sabrefell
Raven River 2-2 Riverkey
Crisisbless United 1-0 East Laithland Harriers
AFC Shale 0-2 South Laithland
Sheridan 1-1 Armstrong
MATCHDAY 42
Ritter Town 2-0 Rochford
Vermillion Wanderers 2-2 Coret Rovers
Extreme Hills 1-0 Iron City
Leichhardt 2-1 Morningstar
Martella Jazz 2-1 Belgrave
Locksley 0-1 Cypher Town
North Sabrefell 0-2 Cranequin City
Riverkey 0-1 Diamondqueen
East Laithland Harriers 0-4 Southfell United
South Laithland 0-1 Raven River
Armstrong 5-0 Crisisbless United
Sheridan 2-1 AFC Shale
MATCHDAY 43
Rochford 0-2 Vermillion Wanderers
Ritter Town 0-4 Extreme Hills
Coret Rovers 2-1 Leichhardt
Iron City 1-1 Martella Jazz
Morningstar 5-1 Locksley
Belgrave 1-2 North Sabrefell
Cypher Town 1-1 Riverkey
Cranequin City 3-0 East Laithland Harriers
Diamondqueen 1-1 South Laithland
Southfell United 1-1 Armstrong
Raven River 2-0 Sheridan
Crisisbless United 1-1 AFC Shale
MATCHDAY 44
Extreme Hills 1-1 Rochford
Leichhardt 1-0 Vermillion Wanderers
Martella Jazz 1-0 Ritter Town
Locksley 2-2 Coret Rovers
North Sabrefell 1-5 Iron City
Riverkey 2-2 Morningstar
East Laithland Harriers 0-4 Belgrave
South Laithland 0-0 Cypher Town
Armstrong 1-0 Cranequin City
Sheridan 1-0 Diamondqueen
AFC Shale 1-3 Southfell United
Crisisbless United 2-4 Raven River
MATCHDAY 45
Rochford 0-0 Leichhardt
Extreme Hills 1-0 Martella Jazz
Vermillion Wanderers 2-0 Locksley
Ritter Town 4-2 North Sabrefell
Coret Rovers 3-1 Riverkey
Iron City 0-1 East Laithland Harriers
Morningstar 2-2 South Laithland
Belgrave 0-1 Armstrong
Cypher Town 2-0 Sheridan
Cranequin City 1-0 AFC Shale
Diamondqueen 2-1 Crisisbless United
Southfell United 0-1 Raven River
MATCHDAY 35
Project +90 1-1 Crossroads Town
Stonegrave 2-0 Brookway Town
Kensey Town 1-3 Mantlegrove
Boleyn Town 0-0 Sutcroft
West Hook 0-1 Iron United
Dross Rovers 2-2 Senway Town
Chenoworth Rovers 0-3 Greygate
Hackett 0-1 Ox River United
Strephonage 1-1 Brindleton
Iberia Chenoworth 1-5 South Parrhesia
Southriver 1-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
AFC Corvistone 3-1 Crisisbless Athletic
MATCHDAY 36
Brookway Town 0-2 Project +90
Mantlegrove 1-0 Crossroads Town
Sutcroft 0-1 Stonegrave
Iron United 1-4 Kensey Town
Senway Town 2-1 Boleyn Town
Greygate 1-0 West Hook
Ox River United 1-0 Dross Rovers
Brindleton 1-0 Chenoworth Rovers
South Parrhesia 3-2 Hackett
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-1 Strephonage
Crisisbless Athletic 1-0 Iberia Chenoworth
AFC Corvistone 4-0 Southriver
MATCHDAY 37
Project +90 1-1 Mantlegrove
Brookway Town 1-1 Sutcroft
Crossroads Town 1-2 Iron United
Stonegrave 2-0 Senway Town
Kensey Town 1-1 Greygate
Boleyn Town 1-0 Ox River United
West Hook 0-2 Brindleton
Dross Rovers 5-1 South Parrhesia
Chenoworth Rovers 0-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Hackett 2-1 Crisisbless Athletic
Strephonage 1-1 AFC Corvistone
Iberia Chenoworth 1-2 Southriver
MATCHDAY 38
Sutcroft 1-2 Project +90
Iron United 1-1 Mantlegrove
Senway Town 0-1 Brookway Town
Greygate 4-1 Crossroads Town
Ox River United 1-1 Stonegrave
Brindleton 2-0 Kensey Town
South Parrhesia 2-0 Boleyn Town
Rhagant Schadenfreude 2-0 West Hook
Crisisbless Athletic 1-1 Dross Rovers
AFC Corvistone 1-2 Chenoworth Rovers
Southriver 2-4 Hackett
Iberia Chenoworth 1-1 Strephonage
MATCHDAY 39
Project +90 2-3 Iron United
Sutcroft 1-0 Senway Town
Mantlegrove 0-2 Greygate
Brookway Town 1-0 Ox River United
Crossroads Town 3-2 Brindleton
Stonegrave 4-1 South Parrhesia
Kensey Town 2-0 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Boleyn Town 1-5 Crisisbless Athletic
West Hook 0-3 AFC Corvistone
Dross Rovers 1-3 Southriver
Chenoworth Rovers 9-0 Iberia Chenoworth
Hackett 1-0 Strephonage
MATCHDAY 40
Senway Town 1-2 Project +90
Greygate 1-0 Iron United
Ox River United 0-0 Sutcroft
Brindleton 0-1 Mantlegrove
South Parrhesia 2-1 Brookway Town
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-2 Crossroads Town
Crisisbless Athletic 2-2 Stonegrave
AFC Corvistone 0-3 Kensey Town
Southriver 1-1 Boleyn Town
Iberia Chenoworth 1-1 West Hook
Strephonage 3-3 Dross Rovers
Hackett 1-1 Chenoworth Rovers
MATCHDAY 41
Project +90 1-2 Greygate
Senway Town 1-1 Ox River United
Iron United 0-0 Brindleton
Sutcroft 0-0 South Parrhesia
Mantlegrove 1-0 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Brookway Town 0-6 Crisisbless Athletic
Crossroads Town 1-3 AFC Corvistone
Stonegrave 2-0 Southriver
Kensey Town 1-0 Iberia Chenoworth
Boleyn Town 1-1 Strephonage
West Hook 1-1 Hackett
Dross Rovers 1-1 Chenoworth Rovers
MATCHDAY 42
Ox River United 1-1 Project +90
Brindleton 0-4 Greygate
South Parrhesia 1-2 Senway Town
Rhagant Schadenfreude 1-1 Iron United
Crisisbless Athletic 1-0 Sutcroft
AFC Corvistone 0-1 Mantlegrove
Southriver 2-1 Brookway Town
Iberia Chenoworth 5-3 Crossroads Town
Strephonage 0-2 Stonegrave
Hackett 1-0 Kensey Town
Chenoworth Rovers 0-0 Boleyn Town
Dross Rovers 2-0 West Hook
MATCHDAY 43
Project +90 0-1 Brindleton
Ox River United 0-0 South Parrhesia
Greygate 1-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Senway Town 2-2 Crisisbless Athletic
Iron United 3-1 AFC Corvistone
Sutcroft 1-0 Southriver
Mantlegrove 3-0 Iberia Chenoworth
Brookway Town 2-1 Strephonage
Crossroads Town 3-4 Hackett
Stonegrave 1-0 Chenoworth Rovers
Kensey Town 2-2 Dross Rovers
Boleyn Town 0-2 West Hook
MATCHDAY 44
South Parrhesia 3-0 Project +90
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-1 Brindleton
Crisisbless Athletic 1-0 Ox River United
AFC Corvistone 0-1 Greygate
Southriver 0-1 Senway Town
Iberia Chenoworth 1-1 Iron United
Strephonage 1-2 Sutcroft
Hackett 5-1 Mantlegrove
Chenoworth Rovers 0-1 Brookway Town
Dross Rovers 1-3 Crossroads Town
West Hook 1-2 Stonegrave
Boleyn Town 1-1 Kensey Town
MATCHDAY 45
Project +90 4-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
South Parrhesia 5-2 Crisisbless Athletic
Brindleton 2-3 AFC Corvistone
Ox River United 2-0 Southriver
Greygate 7-1 Iberia Chenoworth
Senway Town 2-0 Strephonage
Iron United 2-1 Hackett
Sutcroft 0-0 Chenoworth Rovers
Mantlegrove 2-1 Dross Rovers
Brookway Town 0-1 West Hook
Crossroads Town 3-0 Boleyn Town
Stonegrave 0-0 Kensey Town
MATCHDAY 35
Sutcroft Athletic 2-2 Mainstream Fist
Fully Sick XI 2-4 Long Lake
Kommissar 2-2 Corby Hubris
Lackerrun 2-3 Pillars of Southfell
Dartmouth Terriers 0-1 Bellamy
Rushe United 0-1 Falston Town
Fenland Albion 0-1 Fischer
Gridlock Rovers 2-0 Gridlock East
The Hanged Man 0-2 Grovebank
Falston United 1-3 The Strongest
Peregrine 0-1 Ringway
Ballardine FC 0-2 North Dubstep
MATCHDAY 36
Long Lake 0-1 Sutcroft Athletic
Corby Hubris 1-1 Mainstream Fist
Pillars of Southfell 3-0 Fully Sick XI
Bellamy 3-2 Kommissar
Falston Town 1-2 Lackerrun
Fischer 0-2 Dartmouth Terriers
Gridlock East 0-1 Rushe United
Grovebank 0-2 Fenland Albion
The Strongest 2-1 Gridlock Rovers
Ringway 0-0 The Hanged Man
North Dubstep 1-0 Falston United
Ballardine FC 4-5 Peregrine
MATCHDAY 37
Sutcroft Athletic 1-1 Corby Hubris
Long Lake 1-0 Pillars of Southfell
Mainstream Fist 2-0 Bellamy
Fully Sick XI 1-3 Falston Town
Kommissar 4-2 Fischer
Lackerrun 2-5 Gridlock East
Dartmouth Terriers 5-1 Grovebank
Rushe United 1-0 The Strongest
Fenland Albion 0-2 Ringway
Gridlock Rovers 1-0 North Dubstep
The Hanged Man 1-1 Ballardine FC
Falston United 0-2 Peregrine
MATCHDAY 38
Pillars of Southfell 0-1 Sutcroft Athletic
Bellamy 2-1 Corby Hubris
Falston Town 0-0 Long Lake
Fischer 1-1 Mainstream Fist
Gridlock East 2-0 Fully Sick XI
Grovebank 2-2 Kommissar
The Strongest 2-0 Lackerrun
Ringway 2-1 Dartmouth Terriers
North Dubstep 0-0 Rushe United
Ballardine FC 5-1 Fenland Albion
Peregrine 2-2 Gridlock Rovers
Falston United 2-0 The Hanged Man
MATCHDAY 39
Sutcroft Athletic 2-2 Bellamy
Pillars of Southfell 2-4 Falston Town
Corby Hubris 2-3 Fischer
Long Lake 1-1 Gridlock East
Mainstream Fist 0-1 Grovebank
Fully Sick XI 1-1 The Strongest
Kommissar 1-3 Ringway
Lackerrun 0-1 North Dubstep
Dartmouth Terriers 1-2 Ballardine FC
Rushe United 2-3 Peregrine
Fenland Albion 1-2 Falston United
Gridlock Rovers 1-1 The Hanged Man
MATCHDAY 40
Falston Town 3-0 Sutcroft Athletic
Fischer 0-1 Bellamy
Gridlock East 2-3 Pillars of Southfell
Grovebank 1-1 Corby Hubris
The Strongest 5-1 Long Lake
Ringway 0-1 Mainstream Fist
North Dubstep 2-0 Fully Sick XI
Ballardine FC 0-0 Kommissar
Peregrine 1-0 Lackerrun
Falston United 0-0 Dartmouth Terriers
The Hanged Man 1-0 Rushe United
Gridlock Rovers 1-0 Fenland Albion
MATCHDAY 41
Sutcroft Athletic 2-0 Fischer
Falston Town 4-1 Gridlock East
Bellamy 3-3 Grovebank
Pillars of Southfell 0-0 The Strongest
Corby Hubris 1-2 Ringway
Long Lake 2-1 North Dubstep
Mainstream Fist 3-1 Ballardine FC
Fully Sick XI 1-1 Peregrine
Kommissar 3-0 Falston United
Lackerrun 1-1 The Hanged Man
Dartmouth Terriers 0-0 Gridlock Rovers
Rushe United 3-0 Fenland Albion
MATCHDAY 42
Gridlock East 1-4 Sutcroft Athletic
Grovebank 2-1 Fischer
The Strongest 3-0 Falston Town
Ringway 1-2 Bellamy
North Dubstep 1-2 Pillars of Southfell
Ballardine FC 1-0 Corby Hubris
Peregrine 1-0 Long Lake
Falston United 1-2 Mainstream Fist
The Hanged Man 2-0 Fully Sick XI
Gridlock Rovers 1-2 Kommissar
Fenland Albion 1-0 Lackerrun
Rushe United 2-2 Dartmouth Terriers
MATCHDAY 43
Sutcroft Athletic 1-1 Grovebank
Gridlock East 4-6 The Strongest
Fischer 0-0 Ringway
Falston Town 0-1 North Dubstep
Bellamy 3-3 Ballardine FC
Pillars of Southfell 1-0 Peregrine
Corby Hubris 0-1 Falston United
Long Lake 0-2 The Hanged Man
Mainstream Fist 0-4 Gridlock Rovers
Fully Sick XI 1-1 Fenland Albion
Kommissar 0-0 Rushe United
Lackerrun 2-2 Dartmouth Terriers
MATCHDAY 44
The Strongest 4-0 Sutcroft Athletic
Ringway 2-0 Grovebank
North Dubstep 0-1 Gridlock East
Ballardine FC 1-2 Fischer
Peregrine 5-4 Falston Town
Falston United 1-1 Bellamy
The Hanged Man 1-0 Pillars of Southfell
Gridlock Rovers 0-2 Corby Hubris
Fenland Albion 1-0 Long Lake
Rushe United 6-1 Mainstream Fist
Dartmouth Terriers 6-1 Fully Sick XI
Lackerrun 1-9 Kommissar
MATCHDAY 45
Sutcroft Athletic 3-0 Ringway
The Strongest 0-2 North Dubstep
Grovebank 1-2 Ballardine FC
Gridlock East 1-0 Peregrine
Fischer 1-5 Falston United
Falston Town 2-0 The Hanged Man
Bellamy 0-2 Gridlock Rovers
Pillars of Southfell 1-0 Fenland Albion
Corby Hubris 0-3 Rushe United
Long Lake 2-1 Dartmouth Terriers
Mainstream Fist 3-7 Lackerrun
Fully Sick XI 1-1 Kommissar
MATCHDAY 35
Harrington 0-2 Ramsay
Mapleford 0-1 Norton Road
Alliance Barossia 3-0 Tryst Athletic
FC Seierstad 0-1 Gonen's Bridge
Swag Hill Rovers 1-0 Franchise FC
Gosforth Swans 1-0 Courser
Boltcroft Thorns 2-1 Camwell Road
Corinthians No Longer 3-2 Vermillion Spite
Sirencall FC 2-1 Nay Town
Forge Carpenters 1-0 Gridlock
MATCHDAY 36
Norton Road 0-1 Harrington
Tryst Athletic 2-0 Ramsay
Gonen's Bridge 2-0 Mapleford
Franchise FC 0-2 Alliance Barossia
Courser 1-1 FC Seierstad
Camwell Road 4-1 Swag Hill Rovers
Vermillion Spite 1-3 Gosforth Swans
Nay Town 1-3 Boltcroft Thorns
Gridlock 2-0 Corinthians No Longer
Forge Carpenters 1-0 Sirencall FC
MATCHDAY 37
Harrington 5-0 Tryst Athletic
Norton Road 1-0 Gonen's Bridge
Ramsay 3-2 Franchise FC
Mapleford 3-0 Courser
Alliance Barossia 3-0 Camwell Road
FC Seierstad 1-3 Vermillion Spite
Swag Hill Rovers 2-1 Nay Town
Gosforth Swans 3-1 Gridlock
Boltcroft Thorns 0-0 Forge Carpenters
Corinthians No Longer 1-1 Sirencall FC
MATCHDAY 38
Gonen's Bridge 1-1 Harrington
Franchise FC 1-1 Tryst Athletic
Courser 0-0 Norton Road
Camwell Road 1-4 Ramsay
Vermillion Spite 3-7 Mapleford
Nay Town 1-2 Alliance Barossia
Gridlock 1-1 FC Seierstad
Forge Carpenters 0-2 Swag Hill Rovers
Sirencall FC 1-2 Gosforth Swans
Corinthians No Longer 0-5 Boltcroft Thorns
MATCHDAY 35
Sandrock 1-2 Lazuli Diamonds
Norpike 0-1 Violence Tigers
Twelvetrees 1-0 Rookwall
Clay Terrace 1-1 West End
Hartford Glade 5-1 Rochford Pilgrims
Brunyard FC 0-0 Bodkin Road
Coral Bay 2-3 Dubstep Rangers
Downsparrow 2-1 Blaze
South Brill 2-1 Celebryant FC
Stamper Road 1-1 Masculine Town
MATCHDAY 36
Violence Tigers 1-2 Sandrock
Rookwall 1-2 Lazuli Diamonds
West End 1-1 Norpike
Rochford Pilgrims 2-1 Twelvetrees
Bodkin Road 0-0 Clay Terrace
Dubstep Rangers 0-2 Hartford Glade
Blaze 0-0 Brunyard FC
Celebryant FC 2-3 Coral Bay
Masculine Town 0-1 Downsparrow
Stamper Road 1-1 South Brill
MATCHDAY 37
Sandrock 1-1 Rookwall
Violence Tigers 0-1 West End
Lazuli Diamonds 2-5 Rochford Pilgrims
Norpike 2-1 Bodkin Road
Twelvetrees 1-0 Dubstep Rangers
Clay Terrace 1-1 Blaze
Hartford Glade 0-0 Celebryant FC
Brunyard FC 1-0 Masculine Town
Coral Bay 2-3 Stamper Road
Downsparrow 2-0 South Brill
MATCHDAY 38
West End 0-1 Sandrock
Rochford Pilgrims 2-1 Rookwall
Bodkin Road 2-0 Violence Tigers
Dubstep Rangers 0-3 Lazuli Diamonds
Blaze 3-2 Norpike
Celebryant FC 1-0 Twelvetrees
Masculine Town 1-0 Clay Terrace
Stamper Road 5-1 Hartford Glade
South Brill 1-3 Brunyard FC
Downsparrow 2-0 Coral Bay

PREMIERSHIP
Pos Team                      P   W   D   L  For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 AFC Treason 45 32 3 10 104 50 +54 99
2 Crisisbless 45 27 7 11 99 50 +49 88
3 Sabrefell Moths 45 26 8 11 97 54 +43 86
4 Starling 45 25 8 12 87 47 +40 83

5 Sabrefell Athletic 45 22 11 12 92 62 +30 77
6 Parrhesia United 45 23 7 15 82 64 +18 76
7 Chenoworth Harriers 45 21 11 13 84 66 +18 74

8 Brinemouth 45 21 8 16 73 67 +6 71
9 Creed United 45 18 14 13 53 48 +5 68
10 Vermillion Rage 45 18 14 13 77 76 +1 68
11 Newrook City 45 19 10 16 61 65 -4 67
12 Violence Chariots 45 19 8 18 76 67 +9 65
13 North Laithland 45 19 6 20 68 79 -11 63
14 Brookford Otters 45 17 10 18 79 74 +5 61
15 Bishop 45 16 12 17 49 48 +1 60
16 Coret Hawks 45 15 14 16 61 62 -1 59
17 Maximum Rovers 45 15 9 21 52 72 -20 54
18 Corvette Maulers 45 13 12 20 59 73 -14 51
19 AFC Serpentine 45 11 16 18 62 85 -23 49
20 Cranequin Wanderers 45 13 8 24 43 66 -23 47
21 Chatswood 45 12 7 26 48 96 -48 43
22 Goodfeather FC 45 10 7 28 42 92 -50 37
23 Maximum City 45 6 15 24 44 80 -36 33
24 West Brinemouth 45 6 7 32 24 73 -49 25

FIRST DIVISION
Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Raven River 45 27 11 7 90 41 +49 92
2 Armstrong 45 26 11 8 62 34 +28 89
3 Morningstar 45 26 7 12 91 49 +42 85

4 Belgrave 45 26 6 13 88 51 +37 84
5 Sheridan 45 23 12 10 51 35 +16 81
6 Leichhardt 45 22 12 11 48 29 +19 78
7 Extreme Hills 45 21 13 11 71 48 +23 76
8 Diamondqueen 45 20 12 13 53 34 +19 72
9 Southfell United 45 19 13 13 79 63 +16 70
10 South Laithland 45 20 9 16 60 46 +14 69
11 Cypher Town 45 19 12 14 52 49 +3 69
12 Crisisbless United 45 19 8 18 86 82 +4 65
13 Ritter Town 45 18 7 20 61 57 +4 61
14 Vermillion Wanderers 45 16 10 19 70 79 -9 58
15 Cranequin City 45 15 12 18 43 45 -2 57
16 Iron City 45 13 17 15 40 45 -5 56
17 East Laithland Harriers 45 12 12 21 38 79 -41 48
18 Martella Jazz 45 10 13 22 52 85 -33 43
19 Coret Rovers 45 10 13 22 49 84 -35 43
20 North Sabrefell 45 11 9 25 55 78 -23 42
21 AFC Shale 45 8 14 23 31 52 -21 38
22 Riverkey 45 7 17 21 42 67 -25 38
23 Locksley 45 9 9 27 49 91 -42 36
24 Rochford 45 7 13 25 31 69 -38 34

SECOND DIVISION
Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For   Ag  +/-  Pts
1 Greygate 45 35 9 1 87 26 +61 114
2 Hackett 45 27 8 10 82 46 +36 89
3 Mantlegrove 45 23 14 8 65 44 +21 83
4 Sutcroft 45 20 13 12 56 35 +21 73

5 Stonegrave 45 20 12 13 47 33 +14 72
6 Crossroads Town 45 20 10 15 69 58 +11 70
7 Chenoworth Rovers 45 19 12 14 57 39 +18 69
8 Crisisbless Athletic 45 20 8 17 66 55 +11 68
9 AFC Corvistone 45 20 7 18 86 61 +25 67
10 South Parrhesia 45 19 10 16 68 62 +6 67
11 Iron United 45 19 9 17 61 54 +7 66
12 Brindleton 45 19 8 18 57 53 +4 65
13 Project +90 45 18 11 16 62 63 -1 65
14 West Hook 45 15 13 17 44 51 -7 58
15 Kensey Town 45 14 13 18 56 58 -2 55
16 Dross Rovers 45 14 12 19 54 58 -4 54
17 Boleyn Town 45 14 12 19 44 61 -17 54
18 Southriver 45 14 10 21 50 65 -15 52
19 Rhagant Schadenfreude 45 12 12 21 35 46 -11 48
20 Iberia Chenoworth 45 12 10 23 67 107 -40 46
21 Brookway Town 45 13 4 28 45 87 -42 43
22 Senway Town 45 10 11 24 48 75 -27 41
23 Strephonage 45 10 9 26 34 71 -37 39
24 Ox River United 45 8 13 24 29 61 -32 37

THIRD DIVISION
Pos Team                       P   W   D   L  For   Ag  +/-  Pts
1 The Strongest 45 31 8 6 109 41 +68 101
2 Pillars of Southfell 45 27 8 10 68 41 +27 89
3 Dartmouth Terriers 45 24 10 11 88 45 +43 82
4 Rushe United 45 21 10 14 83 57 +26 73

5 North Dubstep 45 20 11 14 56 40 +16 71
6 Sutcroft Athletic 45 19 14 12 60 49 +11 71
7 Kommissar 45 19 13 13 83 59 +24 70
8 Falston Town 45 20 9 16 69 47 +22 69
9 Long Lake 45 19 11 15 59 46 +13 68
10 Gridlock Rovers 45 18 13 14 64 52 +12 67
11 Peregrine 45 20 7 18 72 75 -3 67
12 Bellamy 45 17 13 15 52 53 -1 64
13 Ringway 45 18 8 19 44 51 -7 62
14 Mainstream Fist 45 18 7 20 64 80 -16 61
15 Falston United 45 16 10 19 54 61 -7 58
16 The Hanged Man 45 14 15 16 38 39 -1 57
17 Ballardine FC 45 13 15 17 71 74 -3 54
18 Fenland Albion 45 15 8 22 37 57 -20 53
19 Fischer 45 12 14 19 51 74 -23 50
20 Gridlock East 45 13 9 23 52 78 -26 48
21 Fully Sick XI 45 11 12 22 61 88 -27 45
22 Grovebank 45 11 9 25 45 75 -30 42
23 Corby Hubris 45 10 8 27 56 98 -42 38
24 Lackerrun 45 9 8 28 63 119 -56 35

CONFERENCE WEST
Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Mapleford 38 25 6 7 79 42 +37 81
2 Gosforth Swans 38 23 6 9 71 48 +23 75

3 Alliance Barossia 38 22 8 8 54 28 +26 74
4 Gonen's Bridge 38 19 11 8 59 28 +31 68
5 Boltcroft Thorns 38 19 9 10 77 56 +21 66
6 Harrington 38 18 9 11 71 44 +27 63
7 Swag Hill Rovers 38 18 7 13 67 63 +4 61
8 Forge Carpenters 38 16 12 10 41 26 +15 60
9 Gridlock 38 16 9 13 45 31 +14 57
10 Franchise FC 38 15 8 15 54 61 -7 53
11 Ramsay 38 14 5 19 43 55 -12 47
12 Norton Road 38 14 5 19 40 52 -12 47
13 FC Seierstad 38 12 8 18 50 59 -9 44
14 Sirencall FC 38 12 6 20 56 62 -6 42
15 Courser 38 10 10 18 37 56 -19 40
16 Nay Town 38 10 10 18 45 67 -22 40
17 Corinthians No Longer 38 11 6 21 60 78 -18 39
18 Tryst Athletic 38 10 9 19 38 66 -28 39
19 Vermillion Spite 38 10 8 20 58 85 -27 38
20 Camwell Road 38 8 4 26 36 74 -38 28

CONFERENCE EAST
Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Downsparrow 38 21 11 6 47 30 +17 74
2 Lazuli Diamonds 38 21 9 8 64 40 +24 72

3 Rochford Pilgrims 38 20 8 10 75 41 +34 68
4 Brunyard FC 38 19 11 8 63 38 +25 68
5 Blaze 38 18 10 10 64 54 +10 64
6 Dubstep Rangers 38 17 12 9 57 44 +13 63
7 Rookwall 38 15 12 11 46 37 +9 57
8 Stamper Road 38 16 8 14 61 54 +7 56
9 Masculine Town 38 16 6 16 53 44 +9 54
10 Coral Bay 38 14 12 12 42 47 -5 54
11 Hartford Glade 38 14 10 14 47 47 +0 52
12 Bodkin Road 38 12 15 11 40 39 +1 51
13 South Brill 38 11 14 13 40 45 -5 47
14 Twelvetrees 38 11 11 16 32 43 -11 44
15 Sandrock 38 9 13 16 23 46 -23 40
16 Violence Tigers 38 10 8 20 40 58 -18 38
17 Celebryant FC 38 9 10 19 49 64 -15 37
18 West End 38 9 9 20 34 60 -26 36
19 Norpike 38 9 8 21 36 54 -18 35
20 Clay Terrace 38 5 11 22 16 44 -28 26
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Nephara » Thu Jan 26, 2017 2:55 pm

Premiership Final Matchday
Chatswood 0-2 Brinemouth
Cranequin Wanderers 2-2 Crisisbless
AFC Serpentine 3-2 Maximum City
Corvette Maulers 3-3 Maximum Rovers
West Brinemouth 1-1 North Laithland
Goodfeather FC 2-4 Sabrefell Athletic
Chenoworth Harriers 4-4 Sabrefell Moths
Bishop 1-0 AFC Treason
Parrhesia United 3-2 Vermillion Rage
Newrook City 3-2 Violence Chariots
Creed United 2-2 Coret Hawks
Brookford Otters 0-7 Starling

Without any unnecessary fanfare - all the necessary things are sorted out in advance, after all. Chatswood summarise their decline as their second-string fail to manage the traditional nail-biting brutalisation of Brinemouth, instead limply falling to a 2-0 defeat. Treason are beaten by a canny Bishop outfit, though it hardly matters to them - they’ve the title, after all! The Harriers take on crowd-pleasing duties with a 4-4 draw as they host the Moths, while Starling pulverise Brookford 7-0. It’s been a deeply disappointing end to the Passerines’ season and a very rough campaign for the Otters in general - but they’ll build from this. In fact, a series of high-scoring fixtures lifts the Premiership’s goal-per-game average above 3 for the first time! Already breaking the record of 2.8 set last season, positively eclipsing the previous nadir of 2.26 set in cycle 50. While goals do not necessarily mean quality, it has tended to coincide with the recent trend of high-quality players gelling with attacking, expansive pass-and-move sides climbing the ladder, compared to the more physical, stolid and direct.

In the second tier, Sheridan rest their entire side and roll over rather meekly in front of Morningstar to let Emery Lineker’s array of strong men secure an easy 1-0 win (Karo Vanstrattan rifling home the winner) in order to screw over Sherries’ local rivals, Belgrave. The Gargoyles fuck up their end of the bargain anyway, contriving to lose 1-0 to relegated Shale - perhaps manager Andros Rache saw it coming, and rested many of his best attacking players. It will be their expansive side that takes on Chatswood to see who will make it to the league.

First Division
Martella Jazz 1-1 Rochford
Locksley 1-1 Leichhardt
North Sabrefell 1-0 Extreme Hills
Riverkey 0-0 Vermillion Wanderers
East Laithland Harriers 1-2 Ritter Town
South Laithland 2-0 Coret Rovers
Armstrong 0-2 Iron City
Sheridan 0-1 Morningstar
AFC Shale 1-0 Belgrave
Crisisbless United 2-1 Cypher Town
Raven River 3-0 Cranequin City
Southfell United 1-2 Diamondqueen

Second Division
Crisisbless Athletic 4-0 Project +90
AFC Corvistone 1-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Southriver 1-2 South Parrhesia
Iberia Chenoworth 0-0 Brindleton
Strephonage 0-1 Ox River United
Hackett 1-1 Greygate
Chenoworth Rovers 3-0 Senway Town
Dross Rovers 1-3 Iron United
West Hook 0-1 Sutcroft
Boleyn Town 0-2 Mantlegrove
Kensey Town 0-2 Brookway Town
Stonegrave 1-1 Crossroads Town

Third Division
North Dubstep 3-2 Sutcroft Athletic
Ballardine FC 1-1 Ringway
Peregrine 3-1 The Strongest
Falston United 3-0 Grovebank
The Hanged Man 2-0 Gridlock East
Gridlock Rovers 0-0 Fischer
Fenland Albion 0-0 Falston Town
Rushe United 2-0 Bellamy
Dartmouth Terriers 0-0 Pillars of Southfell
Lackerrun 5-2 Corby Hubris
Kommissar 0-0 Long Lake
Fully Sick XI 0-1 Mainstream Fist


PROMOTION PLAYOFF
It’s not the most exciting match, as it turns out - Chatswood have plenty of physicality, Belgrave plenty of pace and endeavour but both sides struggle for final product (much as the winner is expected to struggle to stay up next season). Nobody can make the difference in the first half, though perhaps Serge Mavididi will feel as though he should have - played masterfully through on goal by Robyn Sabitzer as the shaky centre-half partnership of Stepton and Naess was yet again breached all too easily, he managed to fire straight down former Nephara youth international Kosovare Fairweather’s throat.

The breakthrough comes late in the second half, as Belgrave’s fancy footwork finally comes to fruition. It’s a simple thing in the end, the excellent Dejana Petersen clipping in a neat diagonal cross and former Cranequin City centre-forward Claudia Oakwood skips past Strauss to flick the header past Helena Middlesbrough. The game comes alive, but only has seventeen minutes left to do so, and then then it falls into a pattern. Chatswood attack with desperation, but it breaks down and Belgrave launch a counterattack which Chatswood do well to stop in its tracks. But thanks in no small measure to an excellent double save from Fairweather - Archer’s long shot palmed down, and then somehow the overqualified substitute Matheson’s followup is clawed away for a corner - it’s confirmed. Chatswood, after a long stay in the top flight, have at last dropped out of it - never the same since axing Emery Lineker, who will of course be making her belated return with Morningstar.

Chatswood 0 - 1 Belgrave

CUP FINAL
A pretty juicy fixture on paper. Athletic might have had a top four place slip from their clutches - six points short at the end of the day - but they’ll be eager to ensure the season isn’t a wasted one. They rested many players in the last league ficture to bring their full forces to bear here, including former Spiders winger Chloe Rudden on the left and recent breakout star Avila Wardenier up front. But perhaps the lynchpin of double-World-Cup-winning USI, Yupanqui Sarracena, will be the key player here. North Laithland have done… pretty badly, if we’re being honest, in Lara Finch’s return to management. The side is in need of a lot of overhaul and may lose some of its stars, such as Guiliani, in the transfer window. Both sides line up in attack-minded 4-3-3 formations, and some real fireworks are anticipated - particularly on what is, in the Farham Arena, almost a home ground for the Reds.

And it goes convincingly their way in the first half, as those hoping for an even keel would have been disappointed - three Reds shots on target in the first eight minutes and 68% possession, the last of these shots coming as Riordan’s bamboozled by Bereveskos who crosses into the far post for Avila Wardenier to direct an impeccable header into the net. Already things going wrong for Finch, and the deficit’s almost doubled not long after, an error from Parable and failure to close down by the defence ensuring that Alexa Ferryman has all the time she needs to place a powerful shot. Steed Corren has to get down quickly and fast to get a hand to it, tipping it onto the outside of the post. But despite the rural side getting their foot back in the door, and Lind Pressinger, Athletic do, in the 36th minute, get their deserved second. Rudden wins a dangerous free kick, hacked down by Guiliani, and it’s a training ground routine from there - Ferryman taps it to Castellan who manages an impressive throughball that no Spider tracks, Corren doesn’t see ‘til too late and Rudden steals a march to tap it past him. She celebrates just a little before getting ahold of herself, but fuck it, it’s the Cup final, right?

The Spiders look sunk from that point, only kept in the game by solid defensive work (a rarity up to that point, in fairness) and a few strong saves from Steed Corren, who is supposedly eager to leave in the transfer window. The real issue is the lack of killing edge up front - 33-year old Rui Mokanga’s past his best and was never the most clinical technician to start with, though the fans have always been fond of him, while the first sight of goal Damian Keogh (his replacement) gets is shanked into the stands. In injury time, Tsikitsiris hits the post, but it’s as good as they’re getting. Athletic win 2-0, and thoroughly deserve both victory here and the Cup on their resume. Credit to Daniel Brunet, who gets another feather in his cap, and to his side, several of whom surely warrant a look by Reinhard Shale come the qualifiers...

Sabrefell Athletic 2 - 0 North Laithland

PREMIERSHIP
Pos Team                      P   W   D   L  For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 AFC Treason 46 32 3 11 104 51 +53 99
2 Crisisbless 46 27 8 11 101 52 +49 89
3 Sabrefell Moths 46 26 9 11 101 58 +43 87
4 Starling 46 26 8 12 94 47 +47 86

5 Sabrefell Athletic 46 23 11 12 96 64 +32 80
6 Parrhesia United 46 24 7 15 85 66 +19 79
7 Chenoworth Harriers 46 21 12 13 88 70 +18 75

8 Brinemouth 46 22 8 16 75 67 +8 74
9 Newrook City 46 20 10 16 64 67 -3 70
10 Creed United 46 18 15 13 55 50 +5 69
11 Vermillion Rage 46 18 14 14 79 79 +0 68
12 Violence Chariots 46 19 8 19 78 70 +8 65
13 North Laithland 46 19 7 20 69 80 -11 64
14 Bishop 46 17 12 17 50 48 +2 63
15 Brookford Otters 46 17 10 19 79 81 -2 61
16 Coret Hawks 46 15 15 16 63 64 -1 60
17 Maximum Rovers 46 15 10 21 55 75 -20 55
18 Corvette Maulers 46 13 13 20 62 76 -14 52
19 AFC Serpentine 46 12 16 18 65 87 -22 52
20 Cranequin Wanderers 46 13 9 24 45 68 -23 48
21 Chatswood 46 12 7 27 48 98 -50 43
22 Goodfeather FC 46 10 7 29 44 96 -52 37
23 Maximum City 46 6 15 25 46 83 -37 33
24 West Brinemouth 46 6 8 32 25 74 -49 26
TOP SCORERS
30 - Johnson (SFM)
28 - Fraser (TRE)
26 - Cantor (TRE)
25 - Andisori (STA), Cautcher (STA)
22 - Loeher (BRO)
20 - Oz. Gandhi (CRI)
19 - Jevdjevic-Hadsic (CRI)
18 - Stavanger (CRD), Mason (SRP)
17 - West (CHH), Antonio (COH), Bereveskos (SFA), Voeller (VIC)
16 - Gosforth (BRI), Redmayne (CRI), Curren (MXR), Tsikitsiris (NLA), Berisha (PAR), Rudden (SFA)
AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Aaliyah Johnson (SFM)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Gideon Fletcher (TRE)
Iron Heart (U-21 Player of the Year): Roddy Fraser (TRE)
Iron Fist (Debutant of the Year): Peter Svensson (TRE)
Team of the Year: Fletcher (TRE); Rafford (CRI), Svensson (TRE), Marquon (STA), Lohengrin (CRI); Berisha (PAR), Labonne (TRE), Gosforth (BRI), Meier (SFM); Fraser (TRE), Johnson (SFM) - Bench: Hargrave (STA); Katskalidis (TRE), Bekkwaters (CHH), Urso (CRI), Womack (PAR), Rudden (SFA), Cautcher (STA)
Managers of the Year: Spike Turnbull (PAR)

FIRST DIVISION
Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Raven River 46 28 11 7 93 41 +52 95
2 Armstrong 46 26 11 9 62 36 +26 89
3 Morningstar 46 27 7 12 92 49 +43 88
4 Belgrave 46 26 6 14 88 52 +36 84

5 Sheridan 46 23 12 11 51 36 +15 81
6 Leichhardt 46 22 13 11 49 30 +19 79
7 Extreme Hills 46 21 13 12 71 49 +22 76
8 Diamondqueen 46 21 12 13 55 35 +20 75
9 South Laithland 46 21 9 16 62 46 +16 72
10 Southfell United 46 19 13 14 80 65 +15 70
11 Cypher Town 46 19 12 15 53 51 +2 69
12 Crisisbless United 46 20 8 18 88 83 +5 68
13 Ritter Town 46 19 7 20 63 58 +5 64
14 Iron City 46 14 17 15 42 45 -3 59
15 Vermillion Wanderers 46 16 11 19 70 79 -9 59
16 Cranequin City 46 15 12 19 43 48 -5 57
17 East Laithland Harriers 46 12 12 22 39 81 -42 48
18 North Sabrefell 46 12 9 25 56 78 -22 45
19 Martella Jazz 46 10 14 22 53 86 -33 44
20 Coret Rovers 46 10 13 23 49 86 -37 43
21 AFC Shale 46 9 14 23 32 52 -20 41
22 Riverkey 46 7 18 21 42 67 -25 39
23 Locksley 46 9 10 27 50 92 -42 37
24 Rochford 46 7 14 25 32 70 -38 35

SECOND DIVISION
Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For   Ag  +/-  Pts
1 Greygate 46 35 10 1 88 27 +61 115
2 Hackett 46 27 9 10 83 47 +36 90
3 Mantlegrove 46 24 14 8 67 44 +23 86
4 Sutcroft 46 21 13 12 57 35 +22 76

5 Stonegrave 46 20 13 13 48 34 +14 73
6 Chenoworth Rovers 46 20 12 14 60 39 +21 72
7 Crisisbless Athletic 46 21 8 17 70 55 +15 71
8 Crossroads Town 46 20 11 15 70 59 +11 71
9 South Parrhesia 46 20 10 16 70 63 +7 70
10 Iron United 46 20 9 17 64 55 +9 69
11 AFC Corvistone 46 20 8 18 87 62 +25 68
12 Brindleton 46 19 9 18 57 53 +4 66
13 Project +90 46 18 11 17 62 67 -5 65
14 West Hook 46 15 13 18 44 52 -8 58
15 Kensey Town 46 14 13 19 56 60 -4 55
16 Dross Rovers 46 14 12 20 55 61 -6 54
17 Boleyn Town 46 14 12 20 44 63 -19 54
18 Southriver 46 14 10 22 51 67 -16 52
19 Rhagant Schadenfreude 46 12 13 21 36 47 -11 49
20 Iberia Chenoworth 46 12 11 23 67 107 -40 47
21 Brookway Town 46 14 4 28 47 87 -40 46
22 Senway Town 46 10 11 25 48 78 -30 41
23 Ox River United 46 9 13 24 30 61 -31 40
24 Strephonage 46 10 9 27 34 72 -38 39

THIRD DIVISION
Pos Team                       P   W   D   L  For   Ag  +/-  Pts
1 The Strongest 46 31 8 7 110 44 +66 101
2 Pillars of Southfell 46 27 9 10 68 41 +27 90
3 Dartmouth Terriers 46 24 11 11 88 45 +43 83
4 Rushe United 46 22 10 14 85 57 +28 76

5 North Dubstep 46 21 11 14 59 42 +17 74
6 Kommissar 46 19 14 13 83 59 +24 71
7 Sutcroft Athletic 46 19 14 13 62 52 +10 71
8 Falston Town 46 20 10 16 69 47 +22 70
9 Peregrine 46 21 7 18 75 76 -1 70
10 Long Lake 46 19 12 15 59 46 +13 69
11 Gridlock Rovers 46 18 14 14 64 52 +12 68
12 Bellamy 46 17 13 16 52 55 -3 64
13 Mainstream Fist 46 19 7 20 65 80 -15 64
14 Ringway 46 18 9 19 45 52 -7 63
15 Falston United 46 17 10 19 57 61 -4 61
16 The Hanged Man 46 15 15 16 40 39 +1 60
17 Ballardine FC 46 13 16 17 72 75 -3 55
18 Fenland Albion 46 15 9 22 37 57 -20 54
19 Fischer 46 12 15 19 51 74 -23 51
20 Gridlock East 46 13 9 24 52 80 -28 48
21 Fully Sick XI 46 11 12 23 61 89 -28 45
22 Grovebank 46 11 9 26 45 78 -33 42
23 Corby Hubris 46 10 8 28 58 103 -45 38
24 Lackerrun 46 10 8 28 68 121 -53 38

CONFERENCE WEST
Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Mapleford 38 25 6 7 79 42 +37 81
2 Gosforth Swans 38 23 6 9 71 48 +23 75

3 Alliance Barossia 38 22 8 8 54 28 +26 74
4 Gonen's Bridge 38 19 11 8 59 28 +31 68
5 Boltcroft Thorns 38 19 9 10 77 56 +21 66
6 Harrington 38 18 9 11 71 44 +27 63
7 Swag Hill Rovers 38 18 7 13 67 63 +4 61
8 Forge Carpenters 38 16 12 10 41 26 +15 60
9 Gridlock 38 16 9 13 45 31 +14 57
10 Franchise FC 38 15 8 15 54 61 -7 53 Folded
11 Ramsay 38 14 5 19 43 55 -12 47
12 Norton Road 38 14 5 19 40 52 -12 47
13 FC Seierstad 38 12 8 18 50 59 -9 44
14 Sirencall FC 38 12 6 20 56 62 -6 42
15 Courser 38 10 10 18 37 56 -19 40
16 Nay Town 38 10 10 18 45 67 -22 40
17 Corinthians No Longer 38 11 6 21 60 78 -18 39
18 Tryst Athletic 38 10 9 19 38 66 -28 39
19 Vermillion Spite 38 10 8 20 58 85 -27 38
20 Camwell Road 38 8 4 26 36 74 -38 28

Promoted: Capricopia Rangers, Stonesthrow Town, Gartside FC

CONFERENCE EAST
Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Downsparrow 38 21 11 6 47 30 +17 74
2 Lazuli Diamonds 38 21 9 8 64 40 +24 72

3 Rochford Pilgrims 38 20 8 10 75 41 +34 68
4 Brunyard FC 38 19 11 8 63 38 +25 68
5 Blaze 38 18 10 10 64 54 +10 64
6 Dubstep Rangers 38 17 12 9 57 44 +13 63
7 Rookwall 38 15 12 11 46 37 +9 57
8 Stamper Road 38 16 8 14 61 54 +7 56
9 Masculine Town 38 16 6 16 53 44 +9 54
10 Coral Bay 38 14 12 12 42 47 -5 54
11 Hartford Glade 38 14 10 14 47 47 +0 52
12 Bodkin Road 38 12 15 11 40 39 +1 51
13 South Brill 38 11 14 13 40 45 -5 47
14 Twelvetrees 38 11 11 16 32 43 -11 44
15 Sandrock 38 9 13 16 23 46 -23 40
16 Violence Tigers 38 10 8 20 40 58 -18 38
17 Celebryant FC 38 9 10 19 49 64 -15 37
18 West End 38 9 9 20 34 60 -26 36
19 Norpike 38 9 8 21 36 54 -18 35
20 Clay Terrace 38 5 11 22 16 44 -28 26

Promoted: The Travellers FC, Markoni
Last edited by Nephara on Thu Jan 26, 2017 2:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
WCC Grand Slam champion.
Accidental Gridiron Championship Silver Belt holders for six cycles??

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Posts: 1525
Founded: Jun 06, 2014
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Nephara » Sun May 21, 2017 1:48 pm

Image
Season 67 Preview

LAST SEASON
Pos Team                      P   W   D   L  For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 AFC Treason 46 32 3 11 104 51 +53 99
2 Crisisbless 46 27 8 11 101 52 +49 89
3 Sabrefell Moths 46 26 9 11 101 58 +43 87
4 Starling 46 26 8 12 94 47 +47 86

5 Sabrefell Athletic 46 23 11 12 96 64 +32 80
6 Parrhesia United 46 24 7 15 85 66 +19 79
7 Chenoworth Harriers 46 21 12 13 88 70 +18 75

8 Brinemouth 46 22 8 16 75 67 +8 74
9 Newrook City 46 20 10 16 64 67 -3 70
10 Creed United 46 18 15 13 55 50 +5 69
11 Vermillion Rage 46 18 14 14 79 79 +0 68
12 Violence Chariots 46 19 8 19 78 70 +8 65
13 North Laithland 46 19 7 20 69 80 -11 64
14 Bishop 46 17 12 17 50 48 +2 63
15 Brookford Otters 46 17 10 19 79 81 -2 61
16 Coret Hawks 46 15 15 16 63 64 -1 60
17 Maximum Rovers 46 15 10 21 55 75 -20 55
18 Corvette Maulers 46 13 13 20 62 76 -14 52
19 AFC Serpentine 46 12 16 18 65 87 -22 52
20 Cranequin Wanderers 46 13 9 24 45 68 -23 48
21 Chatswood 46 12 7 27 48 98 -50 43
22 Goodfeather FC 46 10 7 29 44 96 -52 37
23 Maximum City 46 6 15 25 46 83 -37 33
24 West Brinemouth 46 6 8 32 25 74 -49 26


1 Raven River 46 28 11 7 93 41 +52 95
2 Armstrong 46 26 11 9 62 36 +26 89
3 Morningstar 46 27 7 12 92 49 +43 88
4 Belgrave 46 26 6 14 88 52 +36 84

5 Sheridan 46 23 12 11 51 36 +15 81
6 Leichhardt 46 22 13 11 49 30 +19 79
TOP SCORERS
30 - Johnson (SFM)
28 - Fraser (TRE)
26 - Cantor (TRE)
25 - Andisori (STA), Cautcher (STA)
22 - Loeher (BRO)
20 - Oz. Gandhi (CRI)
19 - Jevdjevic-Hadsic (CRI)
18 - Stavanger (CRD), Mason (SRP)
17 - West (CHH), Antonio (COH), Bereveskos (SFA), Voeller (VIC)
16 - Gosforth (BRI), Redmayne (CRI), Curren (MXR), Tsikitsiris (NLA), Berisha (PAR), Rudden (SFA)
AWARDS
Iron Boot (Goals Scored): Aaliyah Johnson (SFM)
Iron Ball (Player of the Year): Gideon Fletcher (TRE)
Iron Heart (U-21 Player of the Year): Roddy Fraser (TRE)
Iron Fist (Debutant of the Year): Peter Svensson (TRE)
Team of the Year: Fletcher (TRE); Rafford (CRI), Svensson (TRE), Marquon (STA), Lohengrin (CRI); Berisha (PAR), Labonne (TRE), Gosforth (BRI), Meier (SFM); Fraser (TRE), Johnson (SFM) - Bench: Ballard (TRE); Katskalidis (TRE), Bekkwaters (CHH), Urso (CRI), Womack (PAR), Rudden (SFA), Cautcher (STA)
Managers of the Year: Spike Turnbull (PAR)


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League Finish: 2nd (First Division)
Cup Run: Second Round
Stadium: Swolefens (25,000)
Nickname: the Paladins
Captain: Jess Hearn
Goal Tallies: Harbour (19); Hearn (14); Whitehawk (7); Havenaar, Bruntwood (5); Kouroglou (4); Chandler, Maxwell (2); Catterick, Martyn, Herrick (1) - 1 o.g. - 62 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-1-4-1) 20 - Holstad; 2 - Leonard, 4 - Costabile, 5 - Martyn, 3 - Catterick; 21 - Kisel; 7 - Whitehawk, 8 - Hearn (c), 6 - Kouroglou, 13 - Nikolajsen; 17 - Harbour
In: Catrine Kisel (Maximum City, 3m), Mako Holstad (CD Las Animas, 1m), Sauro Costabile (IFK Aldenskoett, free), Adnan Nikolajsen (Stilwater City, free)
Out: Ivy Herrick (Torpedo Spitney, free), Espen Havenaar (Hackett, free), Gerry Hewett (Extreme Hills, free)
Retired: Augustine Bywater (DM, 35)

RECENT HISTORY
66: First Division; 2nd, W26, D11, L9, GF62, GA36, 89 pts, Promoted
65: Premiership; 23rd, W7, D15, L24, GF40, GA76, 36 pts, Relegated
64: Premiership; 19th, W14, D12, L20, GF50, GA51, 54 pts
63: First Division; 4th, W25, D11, L10, GF66, GA37, 86 pts, Promoted
62: First Division; 5th, W21, D14, L11, GF53, GA33, 77 pts
61: First Division; 13th, W19, D7, L20, GF51, GA48, 64 pts
60: First Division; 19th, W12, D13, L21, GF41, GA64, 49 pts
59: Second Division; 3rd, W26, D13, L7, GF62, GA24, 91 pts, Promoted
58: Second Division; 7th, W21, D13, L12, GF58, GA39, 76 pts
57: Second Division; 5th, W19, D18, L9, GF61, GA43, 75 pts

Leigh Fletcher's done it again, bringing small-market no-hopers Armstrong back to the top flight. She's kept them up before, too - for a season, at least. Miserly at the back but lacking for creativity up front, they remain essentially the same side that came up and went down a few years ago, though some canny signings will at least give them a fighting chance. The return of local Catrine Kisel, for instance, will further bolster the defence, as will seasoned Semar goalkeeper Holstad and the hulking, brutish Sauro Costabile. Nikolajsen's a nice pickup from the Islander leagues, as well. They've managed to avoid losing any star names - the retirement of influential captain Augustine Bywater will sting the most - while the most important transfer news of all was keeping ahold of Damian Harbour, badly craved by Coret Hawks.

Armstrong are going to play ugly, direct, physical football. Leigh Fletcher was once a moderately prolific striker at Premiership level, now she is a commanding, stalking, shouty presence in the technical area. Now she has an old-school goalkeeper in Holstad (last season having the notoriously flaky Hewett, now departed, losing his place to 22-year old Corridan halfway through) between the posts. Deon Martyn is a surprisingly tidy operator at the back, reliable with just short, clean passes. Sauro Costabile is not. Sauro Costabile's reputation in Cosumar has been built on the blood of the weak. Flanking them, tough, hard-nosed runners in Leonard and Catterick. Catrine Kisel is the midfield enforcer par excellence of the lower-midtable Premiership, and she'll cover for the clean-heeled box-to-box man Kouroglou and for the 33-year old captain, Jess Hearn, who boasts a powerful shot and an eye for a pass. Chris Whitehawk is a solid, sturdy and unremarkable winger, so Nikolajsen operating down the left is expected to be the main influence. Up front, Damian Harbour is the perfect striker for them. He's not pretty, but he's big and tough and quick and diligent, always defending from the front. Unfortunately for Armstrong, they really suffer for depth, especially up front where the callow Busch and the veteran Bruntwood are just not going to be up to the task. All in all, it's going to be a tough task for Armstrong to stay up this season, but one thing's for sure - they will give absolutely everything in pursuit of survival.

PREDICTION - 23rd.
Manager: Leigh Fletcher
Asst. Manager: Brun Kissinger
Goalkeepers: 1 - Helene Corridan, 20 - Mako Holstad (SEM), 30 - Yann Cawood
Defenders: 2 - Garrett Leonard, 3 - Leona Catterick, 4 - Sauro Costabile (COS), 5 - Deon Martyn, 12 - Casim Maxwell (OSR), 18 - Malta Rankin, 19 - Gary Boatman, 24 - Constantine Strutton
Midfielder: 6 - Damocles Kouroglou, 7 - Chris Whitehawk, 8 - Jess Hearn (c), 10 - Tanya Chilton, 11 - Josie Woodard, 13 - Adnan Nikolajsen (SEM), 16 - Ivan Collinger, 19 - Colette Proudfoot, 21 - Catrine Kisel, 25 - Callum Chandler, 32 - Leo Rosenstiel
Forwards: 9 - Karen Bruntwood, 17 - Damian Harbour, 23 - Jonas Busch

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League Finish: 4th (First Division)
Cup Run: Fourth Round
Stadium: Cherryfields (25,000)
Nickname: the Violets
Captain: Laura Galloway
Goal Tallies: Petersen (20); Oakwood (18); Galloway, Dimitrius (12); Whyte (7); Saxton (6); Thane, Markranstadt (3); Heidel, Hollister, Mersiades, Tsiolkas (1) - 3 o.g. - 88 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-3) 1 - Fairweather; 2 - Dreyfuss, 4 - Gronkjaer, 19 - Naess, 6 - Markranstadt; 8 - Whyte, 15 - Tsiolkas, 21 - Galloway (c); 10 - Dimitrius, 9 - Oakwood, 16 - Petersen
In: Sansa Dreyfuss (AFC Treason, 2.5m), Kristian Gronkjaer (Jaunepont Herault, free)
Out: Halley Trapp (Titanderth, free), Barth Hollister (Coret Rovers, free)

RECENT HISTORY
66: First Division; 4th, W26, D6, L14, GF88, GA52, 84 pts, Promoted
65: First Division; 8th, W19, D16, L11, GF65, GA52, 73 pts
64: First Division; 7th, W19, D13, L14, GF50, GA40, 70 pts
63: First Division; 10th, W20, D7, L19, GF67, GA66, 67 pts
62: Second Division; 4th, W25, D11, L10, GF89, GA49, 86 pts, Promoted
61: Second Division; 6th, W21, D11, L14, GF87, GA62, 74 pts
60: Second Division; 11th, W19, D10, L17, GF59, GA55, 67 pts
59: Second Division; 10th, W16, D16, L14, GF60, GA62, 64 pts
58: Second Division; 13th, W13, D18, L15, GF45, GA52, 57 pts
57: Second Division; 13th, W16, D15, L15, GF50, GA48, 63 pts

It's Belgrave's first season in the top flight after blazing their way to the top- well, to fourth in the First Division, Claudia Oakwood's glancing header seeing the northeast Sabrefell outfit replace the far grittier Chatswood in the top flight. Belgrave are something of an oddity - a side with a wealthy image favouring attractive, attacking football as embodied by their marquee player, Brenecia international Laura Galloway. They conceded a fair few goals in the process, second-most of the entire top 10, but they've moved to soften that - battling young rightback Sansa Dreyfuss comes in from Treason while the job of applying traditional Nepharim grit to the defence falls to Kristian Gronkjaer, a Semar from the Sunrise Islands. Two backups are shipped out to compensate. Everything else, though, remains unchanged - Andros Rache is confident that they've gotten this far with Plan A, so why change now?

That Plan A is to dominate possession and shove it down opposing throats. Defence takes a back seat, but it's helped by the presence of reflex stopper Kosovare Fairweather, the second tier's best goalkeeper last season, with brilliant distribution on her side. Gronkjaer will probably partner the tall, elegant ball-playing defender Naess while Dreyfuss takes the right and the lightning-quick Markranstadt on the left. The midfield is the main strength of Belgrave - Achileas Tsiolkas, a 22-year old local, is a genuinely talented player at just making clean tackles and following them up with clean passes. He wasn't even booked last season! As a defensive midfielder! Espen Whyte runs about a lot and Laura Galloway, former Brenecia international, is left to sit with the playmaking duties squarely on her shoulders. The wingers help with this - Dimitrius is incredibly fast and that's about it, but Petersen's a real danger with both feet - but Claudia Oakwood is a slightly underwhelming, if capable enough, spearhead. Depth is primarily young and untested at the top end, and that's a major strike against Belgrave's survival chances. On the whole? They mean well, but they're likely to be at the foot of the table when all this blows over.

PREDICTION - 24th.
Manager: Andros Rache
Asst. Manager: Gareth Oxcham
Goalkeepers: 1 - Axel Stamworth, 12 - Kosovare Fairweather, 20 - Jocasta Searle
Defenders: 2 - Sansa Dreyfuss, 3 - Milos Roth, 4 - Kristian Gronkjaer (SEM), 5 - Dion Stepton, 6 - Quin Markranstadt, 18 - Catheline Pitspurr, 19 - Drusilla Naess, 24 - Cristoph Heidel
Midfielders: 8 - Espen Whyte, 11 - Corinne Mersiades, 15 - Achileas Tsiolkas, 21 - Laura Galloway (c), 22 - Detlef Konstantin, 23 - Diana Lake
Forwards: 7 - Julia Thane, 9 - Claudia Oakwood, 10 - Sascha Dimitrius, 13 - Ivan Slate, 14 - Brani Saxton, 16 - Dejana Petersen, 25 - Ilary Muscat

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League Finish: 14th
Cup Run: Fourth Round
Stadium: Crossgate (23,000)
Nickname: the Bishops
Captain: Monica Cunnington
Goal Tallies: Jaspenner (12); Dragana (10); Cunnington (8); Wintergren (6); Milligan (5); Corsell (3); Rosenberg (2); Kresinger, Crinion, Joanson, Woadswell (1) - 50 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-3) 1 - Scannell; 2 - Farlane, 5 - Rosenbauer, 6 - Crinion, 3 - Kresinger; 21 - Cunnington (c), 4 - Blondel, 11 - Rosenberg; 22 - Milligan, 10 - Penbrooke, 12 - Shawcroft
In: Ansel Penbrooke (Eastal Lunar, 5m), Rudolf Blondel (Colesham Rovers, free), Sasha Shawcroft (Parrhesia United, free)
Promoted: Julian Alderweiss (GK, 19), Roxana Coffey (RW, 18)
Out: Jazmin Dragana (Parrhesia United, 6.5m), Leofric Woadswell (Cranequin City, 1.8m), Andreas Pennyfeather (CSKA Tiraspol, free), Matt Joanson (Lunas FC, free), Cethin Manson (Iturributa United, free)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 14th, W17, D12, L17, GF50, GA48, 63 pts
65: Premiership; 15th, W15, D11, L20, GF45, GA58, 56 pts
64: Premiership; 11th, W17, D13, L16, GF49, GA48, 64 pts
63: First Division; 3rd, W27, D6, L13, GF66, GA36, 87 pts, Promoted
62: First Division; 7th, W20, D13, L13, GF59, GA46, 73 pts
61: First Division; 7th, W23, D9, L14, GF48, GA30, 78 pts
60: Premiership; 23rd, W6, D15, L25, GF38, GA67, 33 pts, Relegated
59: Premiership; 18th, W12, D13, L21, GF39, GA60, 49 pts
58: First Division; 1st, W31, D7, L8, GF90, GA41, 100 pts, Promoted
57: First Division; 5th, W21, D16, L9, GF70, GA43, 79 pts

Bishop comfortably kept their heads above water last season - fourteenth and a positive goal difference a genuinely impressive finish. The main issue, though, is that they just sold their best player, Jazmin Dragana. And their midfield lynchpin, Pennyfeather. And some other guys. Perhaps it's not the best sign that their replacement on the left wing is Shawcroft, Parrhesia's backup last season and released due to being surplus to requirements with... well, Dragana. But in brighter news, they have something of a marquee signing in Ansel Penbrooke, a journeyman through Vilita and Turori with close to a hundred caps for his country. Penbrooke is a genuine coup for the side. Rudolf Blondel, formerly of Brinemouth (and before that... Parrhesia) reinforces the midfield. They've been frugal, but that might not be a bad thing in and of itself - there is a trust in the squad at present.

Bishop are not a vibrant attacking side, but they can be pulsating to watch when on the break. Manager Alexis Spurlock keeps them tight at the back, discipline her main concern. Scannell at the back is a redoubtable goalkeeper with no real weaknesses and, crucially, exceptional distribution, with long, sweeping diagonal balls creating many chances on the break. Rosenbauer is good with her feet, Crinion's a hulk who kicks people. Neither's brilliant, but capable enough. Jacqui Farlane, at rightback, is now 30 and might be a weak point, but she played out of her skin last season - on the left, Ashley Kresinger's a key attacking option going forward and has improved markedly defensively since joining. Bishop has a strong but slightly haphazard midfield. Blondel is big, but technically proficient, Cunnington is a hard-running player with a gift for telling through-balls and set pieces while Theresa Wintergren, a converted winger, love to press forward and threaten goal. It's the front three, though, who Bishop's hopes primarily rest on. Milligan and Shawcroft are both a little rough, it has to be admitted, but they are blindingly quick, and Penbrooke's not only fast and powerful but is the sort of striker who can score from anywhere, at any angle. He mightn't get many chances a game, but can be counted upon to bury them. There's a lot of youth on the bench, with half-Cosumarite Lorelei Neptune and backup goalkeeper Connor Risdon the highest-rated, while veteran striker Olenna Jaspenner is a powerful impact substitution. Bishop, all in all, should be fine - boring midtable safety is all they can really aspire to.

PREDICTION - 15th.
Manager: Alexis Spurlock
Asst. Manager: Karl Partell
Goalkeepers: 1 - Rebecca Scannell, 20 - Connor Risdon, 30 - Julian Alderweiss
Defenders: 2 - Jacqui Farlane, 3 - Ashley Kresinger, 5 - Joscelyn Rosenbauer, 6 - Darren Crinion, 17 - Hilde Scottrie, 18 - Chris Ravett, 19 - Tomas Hammersmith, 24 - Alcander Visser
Midfielders: 4 - Rudolf Blondel, 7 - Theresa Wintergren, 11 - Josef Rosenberg, 15 - Adrienne Fletridge, 21 - Monica Cunnington (c), 23 - Nicki Reed
Forwards: 9 - Olenna Jaspenner, 10 - Ansel Penbrooke (SLL), 12 - Sasha Shawcroft, 13 - Lorelei Neptune, 16 - Lysander Corsell, 22 - Jacqui Milligan, 37 - Roxana Coffey

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League Finish: 8th
Cup Run: Fourth Round
Stadium: Portsgate (57,000)
Nickname: the Dockers
Captain: Jonathan Bosetti
Goal Tallies: Gosforth (16); Scafidis (15); Bartley (12); Silkman, Candelo (8); Drinkwater (6); Roenouya (3); Exarchopolous, Bosetti (2); Brymora, Nkembe, Scharnberg, Winter (1) - 75 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-3) 1 - Vintner; 23 - Brymora, 5 - Nkembe, 22 - Calabrese, 13 - Röènôùjýâ; 7 - Kuralay, 4 - Bosetti (c), 8 - Candelo; 15 - Bartley, 10 - Scafidis, 11 - Silkman
In: Marijana Kuralay (Northern Union, 8m)
Promoted: Lacuna Harlequin (CM, 18)
Out: Konrad Gosforth (Ma Alameome, undisclosed)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 8th, W22, D8, L16, GF75, GA67, 74 pts
65: Premiership; 2nd, W27, D9, L10, GF114, GA54, 90 pts, Champions Cup
64: Premiership; 6th, W25, D12, L14, GF74, GA58, 72 pts, Globe Cup
63: Premiership; 2nd, W25, D12, L9, GF103, GA56, 87 pts, Champions Cup
62: Premiership; 1st, W31, D10, L5, GF129, GA52, 103 pts, Champions Cup
61: Premiership; 1st, W33, D10, L3, GF103, GA38, 109 pts, Champions Cup
60: Premiership; 3rd, W25, D10, L11, GF86, GA51, 85 pts, Champions Cup
59: Premiership; 2nd, W30, D9, L7, GF92, GA37, 99 pts, Champions Cup
58: Premiership; 2nd, W25, D12, L9, GF80, GA49, 87 pts, Champions Cup
57: Premiership; 7th, W23, D6, L17, GF73, GA50, 75 pts

Konrad Goes forth to Ruland. That was the headline that grabbed most eyes coming into the new season, because Brinemouth's star player did as he'd threatened to do and departed for distant shores. One of the most gifted Nepharim players of this generation. Stephen Frew didn't panic - he had a ready-made replacement in mind, sort of, in former World champion Marijana Kuralay. Kuralay's nowhere near the talent Gosforth was, but adds industry, versatility and seemingly endless stamina. A few optimistic fans are even claiming that this constitutes... an improvement? Candelo and Gosforth did occasionally get in one another's way, and Kuralay is a better defender. Other than that, Frew's kept the faith - but in a side that came eighth last season, which is not nearly good enough for the Dockers.

Look at the side on paper. Brinemouth still played their traditional polished attacking style, it just didn't often come off. Matt Vintner was still an excellent goalkeeper, a sweeper, stopper and shouter all in one. Calabrese is a brilliant centre-half but was often badly let down by Temperance Nkembe beside him, who can great on his day but has somewhat stagnated, and last year was not... good. The fullbacks, though, are excellent. Brymora is an emerging Nepharim star, muscular, quick and diligent, while Roenoujya is. Farfish. A seasoned, world-class overlapping fullback. The midfield has a considered feel to it now, with the strong presence of Kuralay backed up by the calm, intelligent Bosetti with the playmaker Candelo now given the sole reins to the team. Kyle Bartley was strong last season, making all the right runs, but just lacked the finishing touch, while Scafidis and Silkman were both below their peak - but if they can get back to it, Scafidis is an excellent target with her back to goal, with a penchant for diving headers and spectacular volleys, while Silkman is just a very highly-polished orthodox winger. There's many solutions on the bench - Karin Drinkwater's as good a finisher as her father, Exarchopolous and Morales are very promising while Rosewood and Finnan can add seasoned steel to the back line where needed - and the depth is more than enough without UICA football. Really, Dockers - you can be better. They'll have to be.

PREDICTION - 5th.
Manager: Stephen Frew (APX)
Asst. Manager: Werner Thayer
Goalkeepers: 1 - Matt Vintner, 20 - Chase Rushden, 25 - Juan Pablo Morales (CEN)
Defenders: 2 - Malachi Rosewood, 3 - Tessa Bayliss, 5 - Temperance Nkembe, 6 - Lukas Finnan, 13 - Drê Röènôùjýâ (FFD), 18 - Axel Fauler, 22 - Gianluigi Calabrese (OSR), 23 - Danijel Brymora
Midfielders: 4 - Jonathan Bosetti (VLD, c), 7 - Marijana Kuralay, 8 - Osman Candelo (VLD), 16 - Diogenes Kutris, 21 - Lorne Winter, 24 - Lucia Silkemark, 31 - Lacuna Harlequin
Forwards: 10 - Chrysanthe Scafidis, 11 - Jess Silkman, 12 - Petros Mytaras, 15 - Kyron Bartley (OSR), 17 - Karin Drinkwater, 32 - Dimitra Exarchopolous, 36 - Lasse Scharnberg

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League Finish: 15th
Cup Run: Quarterfinals
Stadium: The Rock (20,000)
Nickname: the Otters
Captain: Brigid Kestrel
Goal Tallies: Loeher (22); Curtis (13); Kestrel (11); Schwarzer (8); Bradburn (5); Heitinger, Haubeck, Whiteforest (3); Dimitar, Chilton (2); Mithradates, Duprey, Brackwater, Siegrist (1) - 3 o.g. - 79 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-3) 12 - Caravella; 18 - Siegrist, 5 - Haubeck, 6 - Ynoa, 13 - Heitinger; 8 - Chilton, 4 - Dimitar, 15 - Plibersek; 7 - Schwarzer (c), 10 - Loeher, 11 - Albiza
In: Danira Plibersek (Newrook City, 4m), Isadora Caravella (Sabrefell Moths, 3.5m), Perrando Albiza (Astograth University, 1m)
Promoted: Fiona Shrewsbury (CM, 19)
Out: Ulysses Mithradates (Creed United, 2m), Morgan Bell (Urrheddiao, 1.5m), Kelpie Whiteforest (Kyrinson, free), Paul Bradburn (Tihon, free)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 15th, W17, D10, L19, GF79, GA81, 61 pts
65: Premiership; 5th, W23, D14, L9, GF83, GA55, 83 pts, Globe Cup
64: Premiership; 3rd, W21, D13, L12, GF69, GA46, 76 pts, Champions Cup
63: Premiership; 10th, W19, D11, L16, GF84, GA71, 68 pts
62: Premiership; 7th, W21, D8, L17, GF87, GA73, 71 pts, Globe Cup
61: Premiership; 15th, W14, D9, L23, GF66, GA76, 51 pts
60: First Division; 2nd, W26, D7, L13, GF106, GA72, 85 pts, Promoted
59: First Division; 11th, W17, D15, L14, GF48, GA40, 66 pts
58: Second Division; 1st, W28, D8, L10, GF76, GA34, 92 pts, Promoted
57: Second Division; 6th, W21, D12, L13, GF53, GA40, 75 pts

Last season kind of fucking sucked for Brookford fans - a trial from start to finish, they flunked out of the Globe Cup at the group stage, conceded seven more goals than bottom-feeding West Brinemouth and, coincidentally, ended the season by being pumped 7-0 at home to Starling. But faith has been shown in Matilda Heisenberg, who has a record of success at this level, and she appears to have taken the final steps in adapting the team towards her preferred style. Granted, a better goalkeeper in the veteran Caravella, a diligent midfielder in Plibersek and an exciting Astograthian winger in Albiza should spur them on, while four bit-players depart - though that feels a disservice to Paul Bradburn, hitherto a one-club man, who goes to seek his fortune in Chromatika. Heisenberg is 55 now and this could very well be her last job, certainly at Premiership level. Time is running out for her to make the impact her team promises.

Expect her side to play the same fast, aggressive football that the Otters have been known for lately, and that Heisenberg's built her reputation of. 4-3-3 looks to be the order of the day now, with Nikita Loeher (who scored 22 goals last season) the focal point. Between the posts is Caravella, succeeding the flaky Alphonse, an excellent shot-stopper and distributor. Somewhat dangerously, there's been no defensive reinforcement - but Haubeck and Ynoa are capable of far better than they offered last season. The jury is out on rightback Siegrist, while Janne Heitinger remains an exceptional attacking fullback and will hopefully do her defensive duty better this term. In midfield, Ursa Dimitar is a pure destroyer, who will allow the cultured Chilton and the diligent Plibersek to both plunder forward. Olivia Schwarzer and Albiza are both very orthodox wingers, and will largely exist in service of crossing for those midfielders or for Loeher, whose purpose in life is to score buckets of goals. She's not a hold-up player or a drifting versatile false-nine - she just gets on the scoresheet. A lot. The depth is shaky in places, especially in defence, but captain and former Nephara international Brigid Kestrel can play in most positions and is still good at 33, while promising young players in Vannatter and Duprey might use this season as a springboard to forging their legends. That said, it's hard to see Brookford making huge strides up the table - they need an overhaul, and one is more likely than not to come next season should they fail to at least look menacingly at the Globe Cup places or the Cup.

PREDICTION - 13th.
Manager: Matilda Heisenberg
Asst. Manager: Gretchen Heath
Goalkeepers: 1 - Rook Alphonse, 12 - Isadora Caravella, 25 - Ellen Wheelock
Defenders: 2 - Bastian Keller, 5 - Katrin Haubeck, 6 - Emily Ynoa (SLL), 13 - Janne Heitinger, 18 - Kurtis Siegrist, 24 - Marika Brind, 33 - Esther Vannatter, 35 - Camille le Sueur (GAD)
Midfielders: 4 - Ursa Dimitar, 8 - Tanya Chilton, 15 - Danira Plibersek, 19 - Brigid Kestrel (c), 21 - Elaine Brackwater, 31 - Fiona Shrewsbury
Forwards: 7 - Olivia Schwarzer, 10 - Nikita Loeher, 11 - Perrando Albiza (ASG), 16 - Jasper Dyer, 17 - Cantra Duprey, 20 - Freelove M'Baye, 23 - Malakai Curtis

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League Finish: 7th
Cup Run: Fifth Round
Stadium: The Keel (35,000)
Nickname: the Harriers, the Reds
Captain: Raphael Somner
Goal Tallies: West (17); Weber (13); Feist (10); Somner (8); Barthez (7); Mirzayev, Evans, Bairstow (6); Weiss (5); Brighton, Everheart (2); Crowe, Bekkwaters, Braugher, Skiff (1) - 2 o.g. - 88 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-2-3-1) 20 - Sheffield; 16 - Crowe, 2 - Everheart (c), 6 - Evans, 3 - Bekkwaters; 4 - Mirzayev, 15 - Diasakos; 13 - Feist, 8 - Weber, 11 - Rexmont; 9 - Ruhl
In: Airik Ruhl (Morponte Fief, 6m), Steven Rexmont (Port Sebastian, 3m), Scout Given (Northern Union, 1m), Andros Diasakos (free agent)
Promoted: Victoria Carroll (CB, 19), Katja Christensen (CM, 18)
Out: Juergen Evans (Cranequin Wanderers, 3m), Sebastyen Barthez (South Laithland, 1.8m), Elaine Brighton (Goodfeather FC, 1.5m), Stephen Denilson (Echegoyan FC, free), August Culpepper (Pasargad Manitogoro, free)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 7th, W21, D12, L13, GF88, GA70, 75 pts
65: Premiership; 13th, W16, D12, L18, GF61, GA80, 60 pts
64: First Division; 1st, W25, D7, L14, GF68, GA49, 82 pts, Promoted
63: First Division; 5th, W24, D12, L10, GF67, GA48, 84 pts
62: First Division; 6th, W21, D12, L13, GF70, GA45, 75 pts
61: First Division; 14th, W18, D10, L18, GF46, GA45, 64 pts
60: Premiership; 24th, W7, D9, L30, GF32, GA79, 30 pts, Relegated
59: First Division; 4th, W24, D10, L12, GF52, GA31, 82 pts, Promoted
58: First Division; 7th, W24, D11, L11, GF69, GA44, 83 pts
57: Premiership; 23rd, W6, D15, L25, GF39, GA70, 33 pts, Relegated

An intriguing season lies ahead for the Harriers after a successful year last time around, as Aidan Brosque guided his charges to a highest-ever 7th-placed finish for the club. The board wasted no time in backing him in the transfer window, sensing a genuine opportunity to consolidate a position in and around the Globe Cup places, and while bids for Larribe and Roijacker went nowhere, the Harriers still go into the new season with four more full internationals than they had last time around. Granted, one of them - Given - is 34, and more for the defensive depth, but Ruhl and Rexmont are real boons to the Harriers' attack and Diasakos is an intriguing prospect. It was Ruhl, though, who proved the most controversial. He has a charge of domestic violence to his name, among other crimes, and his effort is sometimes... questionable. But if anyone can beat him into shape (possibly literally, judging by his press comments) it's Aidan Brosque, a bone-crunching centre-half in his playing days. Of course, many have to depart, as well - headlined by former Moths striker Evans and first-team regular Barthez.

So the Harriers are a pleasing mix of styles from a pleasing mix of nations, and they play nice football as well - high-energy, quick passing and happy to let the ball do the work. Helpfully, behind a slightly vulnerable back four, Markus Sheffield is there - perhaps unfortunate not to be picked somewhere in the Team of the Season, he's an extremely aggressive, extremely quick and extremely imposing goalkeeper who's become an instant fan favourite. Everheart and Evans are the standard technician-and-brawler partnership, the issue being that neither's really at the level to start at the sharp end of the league (not anymore for Everheart at 33, anyway, and not at centre-half) while Crowe and Bekkwaters, while diligent attacking fullbacks, aren't technically the most polished. Mirzayev and Diasakos are a solid platform, Mirzayev in particular blossoming last season as just a clean sweeper while the versatile Diasakos takes on a deep playmaking role. That makes him a vital link with the three attacking midfielders. Feist is a very direct, hungry winger with pace on his side, Weber drifts in a slightly freer role while Rexmont relishes the chance to drive forward and take men on. All three are given plenty of licence for fluidity, but Airik Ruhl, built half like a Greek God and half like a fridge, has a chance to stake his claim as the attacking spearhead. If he can't make the cut, veteran striker Peta-Gaye West will gladly take her position back, while veterans like Given, Parr and Somner give plenty of defensive depth and Monica Bairstow barely skipped a beat when called to fill in across the midfield. All in all, the Harriers have a lot to look forward to in the coming seasons. This could be the start of something special.

PREDICTION - 7th.
Manager: Aidan Brosque
Asst. Manager: Henrick Barden
Goalkeepers: 1 - Cath Hammond, 12 - Matt Sallow, 20 - Markus Sheffield (SLL)
Defenders: 2 - Cathmore Everheart (LGL), 3 - Jascha Bekkwaters, 5 - August Culpepper, 6 - Dimitri Evans, 16 - Alisara Crowe, 17 - Scout Given (BRE), 19 - Maxine Parr, 25 - Jacqui Brownlowe, 31 - Victoria Carroll
Midfielders: 4 - Ekaterina Mirzayev (ISK), 7 - Matilda Weiss, 8 - Auburn Weber, 11 - Steven Rexmont (SCT), 13 - Konrad Feist, 14 - Harriet Skiff, 15 - Andros Diasakos (ANG), 18 - Raphael Somner (c), 21 - Monica Bairstow, 23 - Jack Churchfather, 36 - Katja Christensen
Forwards: 9 - Airik Ruhl (COS), 10 - Peta-Gaye West (AQL), 31 - Angela Braugher

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League Finish: 16th
Cup Run: Fourth Round
Stadium: The Aviary (30,000)
Nickname: the Hawks
Captain: Cormak Lethbridge
Goal Tallies: Antonio (17); McDonald (11); Fletchclair (10); Montague (7); Kuepper (6), Draxler (4); Christener (3); Bickermann (2); Neustadt, Jeurissen (1) - 1 o.g. - 63 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-4-2) 1 - Lethbridge (c); 19 - Christener, 22 - Santana, 6 - Valkanis, 3 - Jeurissen; 12 - Montague, 21 - Nikolaidis, 8 - McDonald, 16 - Draxler; 9 - Keller, 11 - Antonio
In: Jorge Santana (Utica United, 4m), Athanasios Nikolaidis (Corvette Maulers, 3.5m), Felix Keller (Montreal Koreana, 2.5m), Emery Hastings (Starling, free)
Promoted: Alexis Rudkine (LB, 19), Ivana Henderson (ST, 19)
Out: Natasha Sixpence (Sheriff Tiraspol Women, free), Justine Manning (Rhayader, free), Gerry Duffy (Treftadaeth Alliance, free), Hadrian Kuepper (Southfell United, free), Liam Scherzer (Halholzer United, free)
Retired: Alex Beckett (RB, 34)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 16th, W15, D15, L16, GF63, GA64, 60 pts
65: Premiership; 10th, W22, D8, L16, GF67, GA50, 74 pts
64: Premiership; 10th, W17, D14, L15, GF55, GA61, 65 pts
63: Premiership; 8th, W21, D10, L15, GF55, GA53, 73 pts
62: Premiership; 16th, W14, D14, L18, GF51, GA67, 56 pts
61: Premiership; 16th, W12, D14, L20, GF56, GA70, 50 pts
60: Premiership; 12th, W18, D10, L18, GF46, GA40, 64 pts
59: First Division; 3rd, W25, D9, L12, GF61, GA33, 84 pts, Promoted
58: Premiership; 23rd, W9, D15, L22, GF38, GA61, 42 pts, Relegated
57: Premiership; 18th, W11, D18, L17, GF42, GA51, 51 pts

Rachael Weixelbraun has her work cut out for her. Coret thought they had it all made. Fresh off three top 10 finishes in a row and with a real statement signing in Jenny McDonald intended to push them over the line, it... didn't quite work out that way. The Hawks slipped and slumped to the bottom half in a season that was just ... dreary, really, and former Moths manager Weixelbraun was not able to turn things around when she was brought in. Well, she's been handed a proper War Chest (TM) this time around, largely due to unsubtle hints from Antonio, among others, that they really were meant to be taking part in a Globe Cup campaign by now. Five guys are released, and one-club captain Alex Beckett retires - a great leadership figure, but not, by 34, a very good fullback anymore. Defensive-minded rightback Hastings is brought in on a free to take their place in depth, but the exciting signings all took proper money. Osarius international Santana has fallen from grace somewhat of late - he captained his national team to an AOCAF win, but an error-prone nature has cost him. Felix Keller is a Nephara international in his own right and still has a scoring touch about him, being a key part of Montreal's 'four-headed dragon'. Nikolaidis? Well, suffice to say that without him a lot of people are tipping Corvette for relegation.

Emboldened by the defensive reinforcement, Weixelbraun is expected to shift the gameplan to a more assertive, attack-minded philosophy as was the way for her Moths. Cormak Lethbridge, 'the Brigadier' as he's known, now has the captain's armband around his bicep - an excellent goalkeeper who Crisisbless are reported to be making eyes at. He's a true commander at the back. Santana is still only 29, and is indomitable at his best - it's just that he can also be a car crash, flying into challenges he couldn't hope to win and leaving holes in his wake. The more level-headed Eva Valkanis should help steady his nerve. The wings are defensively shaky - while no Nepharim wants to criticise Sasha Christener, a World Cup winner, the fact remains that the 32-year old hasn't adapted her eagerness to go forward to her now-limited pace, while Isidra Jeurissen is just 20, and understandably rough around the edges. The midfield unit, though, is perfect - McDonald is a peerless, fearless technician and now has a far more capable lackey to run around for her and do errands in the fiery Nikolaidis. On the wings, Alyss Montague is an excellent, incisive presence, but Trifon Draxler endured a difficult season at times. He's 23 now, and can't be seen as a rough diamond forever. Up front, Antonio is a fluid centre-forward and will likely play a linking role with the midfield, while Felix Keller exists purely to score goals. Loads of goals. An excellent first team - the depth, though, is questionable. Ulrich Neustadt still has what it takes at 35, of course, but nobodies like Ellery, Holland, Cuellar and Hastifer aren't taking the club anywhere. Sure, there's a lot to be said for building a core around the academy, but Coret's academy doesn't seem to produce very good players. Dorian Fletchclair, supplanted by Keller, has buckets of pace, but as his meagre ten goals from 41 appearances last season showed, absolutely nothing else going for him - perhaps hopes of goals in depth rest on the broad shoulders of young Ivana Henderson? It's true, Coret aren't favourites to make the UICA places - but they will be in a fight. Or, failing that, Weixelbraun's head will roll.

PREDICTION - 10th.
Manager: Rachael Weixelbraun
Asst. Manager: Claire Antioch
Goalkeepers: 1 - Cormak Lethbridge (COS), 20 - Alisander Ellery, 30 - Mariam Brookhouse
Defenders: 2 - Emery Hastings, 3 - Isidra Jeurissen, 5 - Ulrich Neustadt (PAS), 6 - Eva Valkanis, 17 - Amalie Sulzer, 19 - Sasha Christener, 22 - Jorge Santana (OSR), 34 - Alexis Rudkine
Midfielders: 4 - Sherry Bickermann, 7 - Jacqui Hastifer, 8 - Jenny McDonald (SCT), 12 - Alyss Montague (CMT), 14 - Thanasi Holland, 16 - Trifon Draxler, 21 - Athanasios Nikolaidis, 23 - Robert Cuellar
Forwards: 9 - Felix Keller, 10 - Dorian Fletchclair, 11 - Gabriella Antonio (CMT), 26 - Alexi Cattlin, 31 - Ivana Henderson

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League Finish: 18th
Cup Run: Fifth Round
Stadium: The Bullrush (30,000)
Nickname: the Maulers
Captain: Nadine Mateus
Goal Tallies: Harper (15); Ankergren (10); Nikolaidis (8); Mateus, Djuric (6); Heller (4); Plutarch, Neumann (3); Karoy, Robertson (2); Rainwall, Hatherton, Rathbone (1) - 62 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-3) 12 - Sparr; 20 - Tawney, 2 - Silverstein, 6 - Rainwall, 3 - Laursen; 11 - Mateus (c), 4 - Vassall, 15 - Plutarch; 7 - Đurić, 13 - Harper, 16 - Ankergren
In: Everard Tawney (Sabrefell Moths, 2.5m), Kamasutra Fernwood (Vermillion Rage, 1.8m)
Promoted: Jasko Voleimann (CM, 20)
Out: Athanasios Nikolaidis (Coret Hawks, 3.5m), Andre Sciberras (Iron City, 600k), Harry Robertson (BSC Vargas, free)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 18th, W13, D13, L20, GF62, GA76, 52 pts
65: First Division; 1st, W30, D5, L11, GF79, GA34, 95 pts, Promoted
64: First Division; 9th, W19, D11, L16, GF54, GA50, 68 pts
63: First Division; 7th, W21, D10, L15, GF70, GA60, 73 pts
62: First Division; 11th, W18, D9, L19, GF69, GA70, 63 pts
61: First Division; 16th, W17, D7, L22, GF58, GA75, 58 pts
60: First Division; 15th, W17, D9, L20, GF62, GA74, 60 pts
59: First Division; 9th, W20, D12, L14, GF54, GA48, 72 pts
58: First Division; 12th, W17, D11, L18, GF66, GA67, 62 pts
57: Premiership; 24th, W5, D13, L28, GF43, GA92, 28 pts, Relegated

Corvette did well last season to stay up, pretty much safe from a dismal bottom four. They celebrated by selling their best player. Shit. Who were they able to dredge up to replace the gap in central midfield? A pretty good rightback approaching his thirties and Vermillion's backup striker, now their own backup striker. That's not good. The sad fact is that the Maulers can win as many friends for approaching the Premiership with vigorous, fast-paced attacking football as they like - it's points on the board that matter, and the Maulers have 'second-season syndrome' written all over them. But, hey - they started some nice things, and a 4-0 thrashing of Brinemouth will live long in the Valesider memory.

Perhaps that paints too bleak a picture - alright, they aren't the best side, but they have some good players. Leo Santander is an able and trusted manager, and he sets his side out to break down ... anyone. Lukas Sparr is an acrobatic goalkeeper to underpin them, and bailed out the defence in front of him more often than anyone can count. Rainwall is just a brick, sure, but Lara Silverstein's a classy, intelligent centre-half whose relative lack of physicality is her one weakness. On the wings, Tawney and Laursen are both, unsurprisingly, of the mould that likes to go forward and make things happen. The difference is that Tawney is good at it, and a vast upgrade over Karoy, who was to put it bluntly a liability last season. The midfield is a weakness now, though. Vassall holds it together but looked well out of his depth last season, the captain Mateus is by far the team's best creative influence and a tidy, technical playmaker while Trish Plutarch did alright in a smattering of appearances, though she utterly lacks Nikolaidis' dynamism. She's just clean and tidy, which is fine. Up front, yet again, lies Corvette's best chances - Djuric was fantastic last season, shortlisted for the U21 Player of the Year award, and adds an element of unpredictability to the attack. Ankergren isn't perhaps as fast as many wingers - an ACL injury in her youth put paid to that - but she's an elegant, gliding troublemaker, while Dani Harper? She scores goals. Lots of 'em. She's small, quick and lethal on the break. The depth of the side, well... people optimistic about Corvette's chances of survival should probably not look at the bench. Ever. Too often last season Santander's impact substitute was piebald teenager Patches Rathbone, and while Fernwood adds another useful body to that, well... anyway, the Maulers can lift themselves out of danger. But it will take a fight.

PREDICTION - 22nd.
Manager: Leo Santander
Asst. Manager: Dean Hessel
Goalkeepers: 1 - Russ Lazaridis, 12 - Lukas Sparr, 25 - Marcia Folkhard
Defenders: 2 - Lara Silverstein, 3 - Ana Laursen, 6 - Levi Rainwall, 17 - Hedwig Schelin, 18 - Paul Allard, 19 - Max Stelicher, 20 - Everard Tawney, 23 - Attema Karoy
Midfielders: 4 - Sebastian Vassall, 8 - Ylissa Hatherton, 11 - Nadine Mateus (c), 15 - Trish Plutarch, 21 - Jacqueline Sembrant, 26 - Jasko Voleimann
Forwards: 7 - Ruža Đurić (PAS), 9 - Patches Rathbone, 10 - Lisa Heller, 13 - Dani Harper, 16 - Johanna Ankergren, 18 - Francesca Neumann, 22 - Kamasutra Fernwood

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League Finish: 20th
Cup Run: Semifinals
Stadium: Ebony Lane (48,000)
Nickname: the Wanderers
Captain: Paul Bismarck
Goal Tallies: Teixeira (11); Scuffett (7); Clarke (6); Kendall, Bismarck (5); Rayne (3); Kearney (2); Jantzer, Diebeck, Behan, Falkirk, Blaylock (1) - 1 o.g. - 45 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-4-2) 12 - Gravesend; 2 - Pietersen, 5 - Whyteleafe, 6 - Jantzer, 18 - Salone; 13 - Rayne, 11 - Bismarck (c), 4 - Cavan, 32 - Strongbow; 9 - Teixeira, 14 - Evans
In: Sroel Cavan (1830 Cathair, 3m), Darren Gravesend (Vesper Quicksilver, 3m), Juergen Evans (Chenoworth Harriers, 3m), Franziska Jaspen (Boston Yellow Scarves, free)
Promoted: Rowena Strongbow (LM, 18), Richter Clavane (CB, 19)
Out: Heron Kendall (Sporting Ceres, 7m), Oskar Rourke (Rochford, 800k), Cheney Ralston (Los-Juantos Coastal, free), Gareth Kearney (Hackett, free)
Retired: Diandra Behan (CM, 35), Tobias Clarke (LM, 36)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 20th, W13, D9, L24, GF45, GA68, 48 pts
65: First Division; 3rd, W25, D14, L7, GF83, GA44, 89 pts, Promoted
64: Premiership; 21st, W15, D9, L22, GF45, GA57, 54 pts, Relegated
63: Premiership; 9th, W21, D6, L19, GF63, GA51, 69 pts
62: Premiership; 12th, W16, D15, L15, GF48, GA46, 63 pts
61: Premiership; 6th, W22, D12, L12, GF62, GA43, 78 pts, Globe Cup
60: Premiership; 17th, W14, D14, L18, GF47, GA66, 56 pts
59: Premiership; 15th, W15, D14, L17, GF50, GA66, 59 pts
58: Premiership; 19th, W14, D7, L25, GF49, GA71, 49 pts
57: First Division; 1st, W27, D12, L7, GF79, GA32, 93 pts, Promoted

Offer a Wanderers fan 20th at the start of last season and they mightn't exactly bite your hand off, but most, you'd have to think, would take it. And the same again, surely, this season. It's been a mixed bag in the offseason - Heron Kendall offered a surprising windfall, a promising striker picked up for seven million by the Iron Syndicate league - and that's been spent on some strong prospects. Cavan, 29 and a proven international, has cut his teeth on 1830 Cathair's bench, which isn't exactly bad, while former Treason goalkeeper Gravesend, former Moths striker Evans and the 20-year old journeywoman defender Franziska Jaspen (she has coaching badges for some reason) reinforce the side. Most promising of all is Rowena Strongbow, who made a few impressive cameos last season but the belief is that she is ready to be thrown into the deep end this time around. But look at what else they've lost; their talisman, the Osarius international Clarke. Their captain, Behan. Key defenders in Ralston and Kearney - the latter's departure very controversial. Fans wanted to keep him on, he wanted to remain a one-club man, but he was not given the chance. And, uh, a backup goalkeeper, or something. On the whole, they've probably evened out.

Admittedly, Levan Kyprianou's side is probably a bit less refined. They weren't exactly refined before, either, but they had Tobias Clarke, someone who could really give them another dimension. They're more solid, stolid and... boring, now. Darren Gravesend, for example? The 32-year old's a better goalkeeper than Castelen, but won't make those exciting lapses of concentration or bad flappy hands. Whyteleafe offers an injection of pace while Jantzer is a colossus, both reasonably solid, while Pietersen and Salone are decent but uninspired overlapping fullbacks. Bismarck - now captain - is notoriously slow, but in his plodding way has a gift with his feet, while Cavfan offers a good physical contrast. On the wings, Sunshine Rayne struggled to get to grips with Nepharim physicality on the right, but improved late in the year, while Rowena Strongbow has the makings of a brilliant winger - orthodox in a way, but two-footed and tricky, and lightning-fast. Up front, Teixeira is a sturdy, rough terrier while the lanky, more elegant Evans plays target man duty. On the bench, a lot of young, homegrown options (Woodpress, Sanborn... Blaylock isn't actually homegrown but he is very promising) mix with mediocre veterans (Castelen, Falkirk, the gigantic but rubbish Scuffett). Good enough, you'd think, to help them stay up - just, not comfortably.

PREDICTION - 20th.
Manager: Levan Kyprianou
Asst. Manager: Harriet Leijer
Goalkeepers: 1 - Luna Castelen, 12 - Darren Gravesend, 25 - Cedric Pardons
Defenders: 2 - Bernadette Pietersen, 3 - Franziska Jaspen, 5 - Matthias Whyteleafe, 6 - Ciprian Jantzer, 18 - Markus Salone, 19 - Willow Latchford, 22 - Susanna Woodpress, 39 - Richter Clavane
Midfielders: 4 - Sroel Cavan (ZEN), 7 - Lowen Falkirk, 8 - Lance Diebeck, 11 - Paul Bismarck (c), 13 - Sunshine Rayne (USI), 15 - Emerance Sanborn, 23 - Matt Payne, 32 - Rowena Strongbow
Forwards: 9 - Gareth Teixeira, 10 - Connor Scuffett, 14 - Juergen Evans, 16 - Sigrid Brooklyn, 34 - Dakota Blaylock (COS)

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League Finish: 10th
Cup Run: Fourth Round
Stadium: Gardengate (26,000)
Nickname: the Oathmen
Captain: Karena Bittner
Goal Tallies: Stavanger (18); Farrier (10); Braham (8); McMillan, Bittner (5); Leadbetter (3); Herron (2); Livesey, Trelawney, Colfenton, Reisman (1) - 55 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-4-2) 1 - Beresford; 19 - Dukakis, 2 - Rubio, 4 - Loredan, 3 - Rakeruth; 23 - McMillan, 21 - Bittner (c), 10 - Magellan, 11 - Braham; 9 - Maaksematad, 13 - Farrier
In: Pandora Dukakis (Goodfeather FC, 3m), Kurtis Rakeruth (Mabel Wigglytuffs, 2.5m), Ulysses Mithradates (Brookford Otters, 2m), Conor Magellan (1830 Cathair, 2m), Melinda Rubio (Northern Union, 1m), Soren Maaksemstad (Hellinic-Rouge, free), Raquel Accardi (Paddockia YFC, free), Byron Caldwick (returned from loan)
Out: Mathis Woodgate (Myrmidon, 25m), Dragan Stavanger (Tannenberg FC, 20m), Eden Hereford (Klyde Heritage FC, free), Diana Thrush (Extreme Hills, free), Marko Gillard (North Sabrefell, free), Melissa Colfenton (Martella Jazz, free), Michelle Trelawney (Martella Jazz, free), Bryce Leadbetter (Shamrock Cathair, free)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 10th, W18, D15, L13, GF55, GA50, 69 pts
65: Premiership; 4th, W26, D7, L13, GF81, GA61, 85 pts, Champions Cup
64: Premiership; 8th, W18, D14, L14, GF57, GA48, 68 pts
63: Premiership; 14th, W17, D10, L19, GF54, GA64, 61 pts
62: Premiership; 17th, W14, D12, L20, GF51, GA66, 54 pts
61: First Division; 1st, W25, D12, L9, GF55, GA28, 87 pts, Promoted
60: First Division; 10th, W18, D13, L15, GF53, GA47, 67 pts
59: First Division; 14th, W16, D14, L16, GF56, GA56, 62 pts
58: First Division; 9th, W21, D6, L19, GF58, GA55, 69 pts
57: First Division; 12th, W18, D9, L19, GF59, GA61, 63 pts

Ezekiel Statham retires with a bang - bringing this side to Premiership security and to UICA was a pretty damn good swansong for his career. Replacing him is Catherine Locklear, poached from humble Ritter Town. The former Crisisbless centre-forward has immediately been busy in the transfer window, her hand both forced and enabled by the big money departures of international stars Woodgate (to Ceni) and Stavanger (to Valladares). That's a lot of goals and clean sheets. Locklear did the 'ripping off the band-aid' thing by releasing her captain, starting leftback and four other experienced stalwarts, too, using the money to invest in some serious muscle. New wingbacks in youth international Dukakis and full international Rakeruth. New strikers in young Mithradates and Semar international veteran Maaksemstad. An experienced Oceanic spine in veteran Osarian defender Rubio - a Globe Cup winner with Northern Union - and 1830 Cathair hanger-on Conor Magellan. Yeah, it's set to be an interesting year...

So what has Locklear got to work with? Russ Beresford is likely to regain the posting between the sticks (though don't discount Caldwick), a big journeyman goalkeeper, a strong shot-stopper and a defensive commander. He used to sweep more in his youth, still can to an extent. His centre-halves are of exceptional quality - Loredan is now, in any case, while Rubio was before being 35 years old. Pace is not a strength. Dukakis and Rakeruth are a nice set of fullbacks to have, the rock-solid Rakeruth fairly defensive-minded, Dukakis a bit more inclined to providing attacking width. McMillan on the right wing will appreciate the support, fairly orthodox in skillset but with a hammer of a right peg. Bittner is a pure holding player, a relentless terrier, with Magellan similar but trusted to go forward more and help the attack. Karena Braham at the left wing is... a winger, essentially, given all the license she could ask for. Two-footed and threatening. Up front, experienced international strikers in the muscular Maaksemstad and the crisp technician Farrier should do a job for them. The depth isn't the best, and that was a major problem with fighting on so many fronts last season. Locklear's encouraged a lot of youth, with the muscular Mithriades, the smooth Vettriano, the dynamic Reisman (last season did come too soon for him, though), Bristoll and Accardi all tipped for great things in the future. In the interim, the likes of Ellen Penny is just filler, though Herron and Livesey add beef to the spine.

PREDICTION - 12th.
Manager: Catherine Locklear
Asst. Manager: Bryce Sharman
Goalkeepers: 1 - Russ Beresford, 20 - Byron Caldwick, 25 - Ange Shackell
Defenders: 2 - Melinda Rubio (OSR), 3 - Kurtis Rakeruth, 4 - Taddeo Loredan (COS), 5 - Stefan Herron, 17 - Ellen Penny, 19 - Pandora Dukakis, 22 - Ash Reisman, 24 - Micaiah Cohen
Midfielders: 6 - Elsa Livesey, 7 - Melissa Colfenton, 8 - Kurtis Bristoll, 10 - Conor Magellan (AUD), 11 - Karena Braham, 16 - Orchid Basclif, 21 - Karena Bittner (c), 23 - Conan McMillan (TLI), 38 - Raquel Accardi (EFL)
Forwards: 7 - Ulysses Mithradates, 9 - Soren Maaksemstad (SEM), 13 - Danica Farrier (BRE), 15 - Frey Sylvine, 32 - Valentin Vettriano (AUD)
WCC Grand Slam champion.
Accidental Gridiron Championship Silver Belt holders for six cycles??

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Nephara
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Postby Nephara » Sun May 21, 2017 1:49 pm

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League Finish: 2nd
Cup Run: Fourth Round
Stadium: Godswatch (63,000)
Nickname: the Heelers
Captain: Isaia Urso
Goal Tallies: Oz. Gandhi (20); Jevdjevic-Hadsic (19); Redmayne (16); Swan (14); Urso (12); Rashford, Sundu (5); Priest, Rafford (3); Lohengrin, Os. Gandhi, Tregajorran (1) - 1 o.g. - 101 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-1-3-2) 1 - Marciak; 19 - Rafford, 13 - Gandhi, 4 - Chalobah, 3 - Lohengrin; 21 - Tedesco; 8 - Urso (c), 11 - Swan, 15 - Jevdjevic-Hadsic; 14 - Gandhi, 9 - Cautcher
In: Claudia Cautcher (Starling, 14m), Martell Chalobah (CA Paulinthal, free)
Out: Lukas Rashford (Zoloroni Metropolitan, 9m)
Retired: Fabricio Gallardo (CB, 35)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 2nd, W27, D8, L11, GF101, GA52, 89 pts, Champions Cup
65: Premiership; 9th, W22, D10, L14, GF74, GA58, 76 pts
64: Premiership; 13th, W17, D11, L18, GF54, GA56, 62 pts, Cup Winners
63: Premiership; 6th, W21, D13, L12, GF74, GA51, 76 pts, Globe Cup
62: Premiership; 2nd, W32, D3, L11, GF86, GA37, 99 pts, Champions Cup
61: Premiership; 3rd, W24, D14, L8, GF60, GA37, 86 pts, Champions Cup, Cup Winners
60: Premiership; 5th, W22, D13, L11, GF57, GA41, 79 pts, Globe Cup
59: Premiership; 1st, W31, D10, L5, GF81, GA29, 103 pts, Champions Cup
58: Premiership; 3rd, W25, D9, L12, GF79, GA48, 84 pts, Globe Cup
57: Premiership; 2nd, W27, D11, L8, GF82, GA48, 92 pts, Champions Cup

Second place. So, so familiar. Portia Thrift has finally managed to fulfil expectations after a couple of spectacularly awful seasons in the league, and did so scoring over a hundred goals with a vibrant, fluid attacking unit that nobody quite predicted. Crisisbless have always been pretty and technical, of course, but usually valued solidity first - not this time, and it's faintly scary to think that Portia Thrift's decided that wasn't enough goals, and dumped fourteen million on Claudia Cautcher. This is a bit of a puzzler, in a sense - Cautcher's an excellent striker, but her old bane, injuries, have started to creep back in of late, and in getting her they've sacrificed the younger, powerful Lukas Rashford. But they've also handily gotten a top-class centre-half, Semar international Martell Chalobah, in on a free to hopefully make up for the retirement of a genuine club hero in Fabricio Gallardo, who will be missed.

So they’ll be doing the same again, you’d imagine, focusing on their technical edge to just pass opponents into the ground and then lashing in goals freely after wearing the defence down. Crisisbless fans have had the pleasure of watching Marciak blossom into one of the league’s best goalkeepers, excellent in all aspects, and in Osmosis Gandhi and Chalobah he has one of the league’s toughest defensive partnerships ahead of him. On the wings, Rafford and Lohengrin are both exceptional young attacking fullbacks, both already internationals at 20 and 22. Lauro Tedesco was given the intimidating brief of being the primary holding midfielder and pulled it off exceptionally well. Ahead of him, Urso, Swan and Jevdjevic-Hadsic all sort of tend to form one single, fluid whirlwind of activity and visionary passing, and strong shots to boot. Ozaria Gandhi is a classy striker growing in form by the hour while Cautcher is a seasoned performer at this level, if she can keep fit. On the bench, the likes of Sundu, Priest and Redmayne offer still more attacking verve, while Condotta, Larkland and Machan are a strong spine ready to go. Keep an eye out for young gun Tregajorran, too. It’s a very close call at the top of the league this season, and Crisisbless have every right to consider themselves competing at the sharp end. Watch out - Champions’ Cup qualification is the minimum expectation.

PREDICTION - 4th.
Manager: Portia Thrift
Asst. Manager: Espen Knutsen (BYN)
Goalkeepers: 1 - Pawlo Marciak (BYN), 20 - Karena Hesketh, 23 - Gerhard Hartmuth
Defenders: 2 - Karin Machan, 3 - Sieglinde Lohengrin, 4 - Martell Chalobah (SEM), 5 - Rebecca Larkland, 13 - Osmosis Gandhi (APX), 18 - Mahe Beitar, 19 - Leona Rafford, 34 - Amelia Warner
Midfielders: 6 - Bianca Condotta, 7 - Sante Sundu (SEM), 8 - Isaia Urso (OSR, c), 11 - Allison Swan (CEN), 15 - Ror Jevdjevic-Hadsic (FFD), 21 - Lauro Tedesco (OSR), 24 - Irsa Croxteth, 25 - Camilla Priest
Forwards: 9 - Claudia Cautcher, 10 - Anika Redmayne, 12 - Klaus Breisgau, 14 - Ozaria Gandhi (APX), 32 - Methuselah Tregajorran

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League Finish: 17th
Cup Run: Fourth Round
Stadium: Griffindon (36,000)
Nickname: the Rovers
Captain: Alex Chapin
Goal Tallies: Curren (16); Luitgard (10); Senturk (8); Murdoch, Kolitsidakis (5); Chapin (4); Seeklander (3); Saravakos, Bielert, Lineker (1) - 1 o.g. - 55 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-1-3-2) 20 - Lindberg; 3 - Halfpike, 2 - Lineker, 6 - Jurist, 18 - Saravakos; 4 - Chapin (c), 21 - Woodbine, 13 - Kolitsidakis; 8 - Senturk; 14 - Luitgard, 10 - Curren
In: Nicholas Lindberg (Los-Juantos Coastal, 800k)
Promoted: Axiom Gaitatzis (CB, 19)
Out: Iona Britton (Vermillion Wanderers, 2m)
Retired: Sven Erik Vidurvoerdr (CB, 37)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 17th, W15, D10, L21, GF55, GA75, 55 pts
65: Premiership; 19th, W11, D13, L22, GF58, GA79, 46 pts
64: Premiership; 20th, W14, D12, L20, GF53, GA60, 54 pts
63: Premiership; 16th, W16, D7, L23, GF52, GA70, 55 pts
62: Premiership; 18th, W13, D11, L22, GF49, GA67, 50 pts
61: Premiership; 11th, W19, D12, L15, GF60, GA53, 69 pts
60: Premiership; 13th, W17, D12, L17, GF51, GA49, 63 pts
59: Premiership; 16th, W13, D12, L21, GF40, GA48, 51 pts
58: Premiership; 18th, W12, D15, L19, GF45, GA59, 51 pts
57: Premiership; 8th, W19, D18, L9, GF63, GA49, 75 pts

Twelve points clear of relegation last season, but with a weak field full of dead men walking. The Rovers needed to build and consolidate, not let all their key personnel just get a year older. Instead they bought... Nicholas Lindberg, a fine goalkeeper (not a problem position for the Rovers by any means, Hawthorn has reason to feel aggrieved) but regarded in his home country as about as exciting as lukewarm granola. And they sold their backup goalkeeper for a profit and had a stalwart centre-half retire to be replaced by some academy kid. It's a strong field this time, and the Rovers didn't need a slight backslide.

Still, they're ably managed by Catheline Harper, who everyone wants to be an incredibly good manager but has been unable to marshal this side away from repeated relegation scraps. Lindberg will probably start for them, and he comes well-recommended as a pure shot-stopper, but his main weakness is an inability to assert himself and shout a lot. Ahead of him, Lineker and Jurist are fairly solid centre-halves - the latter passes, the former smashes. On the flanks, Dorian Halfpike did surprisingly well shifted to rightback through last season but Alexandra Saravakos down the left is a main source of attacking depth. Woodbine's propensity for homicide allows him to anchor the captain Chapin and the diligent, driven Kolitsidakis, a homegrown 26-year old midfielder who has taken his time to get consistent starts but looks up to the money. In theory, deploying Senturk - a wonderful attacking player in form, a liability out of it, but being a former Cosumar international counts for a lot - in the hole allows the 32-year old to do many passes and shots and minimal running. That part was copy-pasted from last season's preview, because nothing ever changes. Up front, Lucy Curren's a good finisher and the Rovers' primary goal thread while Konstanze Luitgard - very fast, has nothing else - did okay when thrown into the hot seat but is too often derailed by poor finishing. On the bench, there's a lot of mediocre but decent Premiership grist, but if Klaus Murdoch can recover from a pretty bad injury sustained last season he might be able to do a job up front. All in all? There's trouble ahead.

PREDICTION - 21st.
Manager: Catheline Harper
Asst. Manager: Matthew Rickard
Goalkeepers: 1 - Malta Hawthorn, 20 - Nicholas Lindberg (SLL), 25 - Bryce Henderson
Defenders: 2 - Conan Lineker, 3 - Dorian Halfpike, 6 - Catheline Jurist, 17 - Colin Chaulker, 18 - Alexandra Saravakos, 19 - Amber Steelshrift, 24 - Bella Scarratt, 34 - Axiom Gaitatzis
Midfielders: 4 - Alex Chapin (NOV, c), 8 - Aziz Senturk (COS), 13 - Spyridon Kolitsidakis, 15 - Jasmine Colindon, 16 - Carina Bielert, 21 - Kurtis Woodbine, 23 - Florian Schneider, 32 - Adele Rosborough
Forwards: 7 - Klaus Murdoch, 9 - Rouwen Seeklander, 10 - Lucy Curren (SCT), 14 - Konstanze Luitgard, 22 - Allen Slayback

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League Finish: 3rd (First Division)
Cup Run: Third Round
Stadium: Woden Avenue (28,000)
Nickname: the Warriors
Captain: Gwen Saunders
Goal Tallies: Boldman, Lopez (21); Petrosian (15); Vanstrattan (7); Goldenrod, Sahar (6); Kovach, Seizter (4); Whitesmith, van Hoof (2), Scaleton, Reeve, Tsiavis (1) - 1 o.g. - 92 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-4-2) 1 - Ceferin; 12 - Rough, 18 - Saunders (c), 4 - Sahar, 3 - Whitesmith; 7 - Petrosian, 6 - Seizter, 14 - Woodwind, 23 - Vanstrattan; 17 - Boldman, 10 - Lopez
In: Kurtis Rough (Sabrefell Athletic, 2.5m), Sleipnir Woodwind (Starling, loan)
Out: Bruce Scaleton (Cranequin City, 800k), Karl Linstead (Rochford, loan)

RECENT HISTORY
66: First Division; 3rd, W27, D7, L12, GF92, GA49, 88 pts, Promoted
65: First Division; 7th, W22, D7, L17, GF65, GA51, 74 pts
64: First Division; 5th, W22, D6, L18, GF61, GA56, 72 pts
63: First Division; 14th, W18, D4, L24, GF70, GA69, 58 pts
62: Second Division; 2nd, W26, D13, L7, GF77, GA42, 91 pts, Promoted
61: Second Division; 8th, W20, D12, L14, GF63, GA43, 72 pts
60: Second Division; 19th, W14, D9, L23, GF41, GA70, 51 pts
59: Third Division; 3rd, W23, D11, L12, GF83, GA52, 80 pts, Promoted
58: Third Division; 8th, W19, D16, L11, GF62, GA48, 73 pts
57: Conference; 2nd, W22, D10, L6, GF57, GA38, 76 pts

"Back in business!" That was Lineker's very personal message after a vindicating promotion with Morningstar put her firmly back in the front seat. It was very much back to the old days - a hard-bitten, physical Northwestern side bludgeoning their way to the top under her iron fist, and she was openly pleased to see Chatswood, who she'd built up until they fired her, go down in her absence. So the Stars take up their place in the top flight for the first time, and Lineker acted quickly to adopt a Nephara international down on his luck - Kurtis Rough, languishing on Athletic's bench and with no future at his club after the signing of, ironically, Erika Morningstar. Cycles. Sleipnir Woodwind is imported from Starling to add a tough of class and, after making room, that's really all the work that Lineker felt was needed.

It's a Lineker side, of course, so the style is unafraid to be direct, by default getting stuck in and in this particular vintage favouring quick play down the wings rather than through the middle. Ceferin, a lanky blond shot-stopper and the league's tallest at 6'8", is a slightly flaky goalkeeper (with a particular blind spot against direct free kicks) but usually isn't given too much to do by a rock-hard defence, now further stiffened by Rough (who distinctly lives up to his name) but exemplified by Gwen Saunders, expected to shuffle into the centre of defence to allow for Rough, a genuinely evil defender who lead the second tier for fouls last year. Saunders isn't the biggest, but that's okay, because Barak Sahar is. Whitesmith, 30 and fairly average, might prove the weak point, but she's usually too focused on her defence to be caught out. The central midfield, similarly, is not exactly going to be caught out of line - Woodwind makes the play first from deep and kicks people second, Seizter (or the largely interchangeable Kovach) kicks people first and passes to Woodwind or Petrosian second. And speaking of Petrosian, Morningstar are set apart by two exceptional wingers, both the muscular, classical Nepharim Petrosian who loves to score goals and the elegant, gazellesque Vanstrattan, more orthodox in mindset and skillset, each given license to attack without fear. Niko Boldman has absolutely no technique, but he can finish with the best of them, while the fiery Lopez might run hot and cold but, on the balance of it, is worth his weight in gold. There's plenty of strong second-tier stock hanging around, too, from the murderous Arne van Hoof to the journeywoman poacher Goldenrod. The depth is strongest in defence, but safe to say this team can handle a few injuries. All in all, Morningstar should be fine - looking over their shoulders a bit, sure, but fine.

PREDICTION - 19th.
Manager: Emery Lineker
Asst. Manager: Lara Hunfeld
Goalkeepers: 1 - Steffen Ceferin, 20 - Magnus Orchard, 30 - Vicki Bassett
Defenders: 2 - Malakai Seluk, 3 - Hippolyta Whitesmith, 4 - Barak Sahar, 5 - Arne van Hoof, 12 - Kurtis Rough, 13 - Andrei Keyes, 18 - Gwen Saunders (c), 19 - Lothar Andreas
Midfielders: 6 - Robin Seizter, 7 - Marko Petrosian, 8 - Hecate Dransfeld, 11 - Henrik Reeve, 14 - Sleipnir Woodwind, 15 - Johan Kovach, 22 - Garrett Spycer, 23 - Karo Vanstrattan
Forwards: 9 - Samantha Goldenrod, 10 - Henrique Lopez, 17 - Niko Boldman, 21 - Marika Kreisburg, 36 - Christos Tsiavis
Out on Loan: 33 - Karl Linstead

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League Finish: 9th
Cup Run: Fourth Round
Stadium: Anchorwright Arena (30,000)
Nickname: the Rooks
Captain: Rook Fenwick
Goal Tallies: Sanna (14); Stokes (13); Jacobsen (11); Fenwick, Plibersek (8); Connolly (3); Farrell, Ideye (2); Rivello, Haukmann, Marconi (1) - 64 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-1-2) 20 - Anghelescu; 18 - Luque, 5 - Rivello, 6 - Zagorec, 11 - Woods; 4 - Fenwick, 14 - Polzin, 13 - Fenchel; 7 - Sanna; 9 - Jacobsen, 10 - Bothroyd
In: Alan Bothroyd (Metropolis Alligators, 5.5m), Raquel Woods (South Laithland, 4m), Mark Polzin (Elektrik Admiralnaya, 1m), Costin Anghelescu (free agent)
Promoted: Ifrit Coynborough (CM, 20)
Out: Danira Plibersek (Brookford Otters, 4m), Thea Henson (Nomad Brotherhood, 750k), Othello Ideye (FC Matovallanen, free), Johan Haukmann (South Laithland, free), June Connolly (Crossroads, free)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 9th, W20, D10, L16, GF64, GA67, 70 pts
65: Premiership; 17th, W14, D11, L21, GF44, GA60, 53 pts
64: Premiership; 15th, W14, D17, L15, GF56, GA47, 59 pts
63: Premiership; 17th, W13, D14, L19, GF49, GA74, 53 pts
62: First Division; 2nd, W27, D12, L7, GF68, GA41, 93 pts, Promoted
61: Premiership; 21st, W12, D5, L29, GF49, GA83, 41 pts, Relegated
60: First Division; 3rd, W24, D13, L9, GF63, GA35, 85 pts, Promoted
59: First Division; 10th, W17, D16, L13, GF58, GA42, 67 pts
58: Premiership; 22nd, W11, D12, L23, GF50, GA73, 45 pts, Relegated
57: Premiership; 21st, W10, D12, L24, GF43, GA77, 42 pts, CEdC

Well, well, well. Look who's finally starting to get all aspirational. Admittedly this transfer window didn't get off to the best of starts for Newrook, as influential midfielder Danira Plibersek, bought last window for 2.5 million, was sold on to Brookford for 4. That money was immediately splashed out on Raquel Woods, arguably the second tier's premier attacking leftback for the last two seasons, and more was found for ambitious international midfielder Polzin, wild card goalkeeper Anghelescu and most impressively of all Alan Bothroyd, twice winner of the Liga-1 Golden Boot but recently out of favour at the Alligators. Well, the Valladar loss is a Nepharim gain, and an ambitious Newrook team struggling for attacking bite in prior seasons now has the perfect focal point for their attack. Headlining the departures is Othello Ideye, inspirational captain, but they've definitely strengthened ahead of this new season.

Keenan's squad is a strong one and she sets them out in disciplined fashion, tight down the spine and hard to break down. However, with new personnel, they may be more assertive this season than in times gone by. Anghelescu is expected to be given the nod over Summersteen, and if quick, accurate distribution (Summersteen's main strength) is less important in the new system then Anghelescu's reflexes should give him the edge. Rivello is a violent hardcase, while Zagorec is clever and tidy. Trusted with the flanks, Luque and Woods both like to go forward but neither exactly leaves space behind, either - they're key to adding width to the attack. The midfield might be slightly weak without Plibersek - Mark Polzin has the ambition and drive, but does he have the quality to anchor the side? Fenchel is largely unproven at this level and may prove a gamble, but replacing her with the 33-year old Mendehlson would surely slow the unit too far. Rook Fenwick, now captain, is a forceful, commanding presence in the middle of the park. In the hole, Bonifacio Sanna flickered into life and adapted to the league's physicality, an exceptional playmaker with a ferocious shot, while Jacobsen might not be able to score but his muscle should at least help carve out some room for Bothroyd to do the damage. At the end of the day, Newrook should do alright for themselves.

PREDICTION - 14th.
Manager: Catheline Keenan
Asst. Manager: Esther Mallory
Goalkeepers: 1 - Lisa Summersteen, 20 - Costin Anghelescu (ANG), 25 - Magda Kattner
Defenders: 2 - Conrad Trelliston, 3 - Petra Fischer, 5 - Robert Rivello (SAN), 6 - Perica Zagorec (PAS), 11 - Raquel Woods, 17 - Luna Traugott, 18 - Monroe Luque (NSI), 19 - Glenn Baumann
Midfielders: 4 - Rook Fenwick (c), 7 - Bonifacio Sanna (OSR), 8 - Reinhard Mendehlson, 13 - Rafaela Fenchel, 14 - Mark Polzin (PDN), 16 - Othello Ideye, 23 - Gareth Brewer, 37 - Alessa Marconi
Forwards: 9 - Stefan Jacobsen (SEM), 10 - Alan Bothroyd (VLD), 15 - Alysia Stokes, 22 - Marcia Haskell, 26 - Maladict Farrell

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League Finish: 13th
Cup Run: Runners-up
Stadium: The Bluegrass (48,000)
Nickname: the Spiders
Captain: Rook Kennedy
Goal Tallies: Tsikitsiris (16); Rhodes (12); Rui Mokanga (11); Stenet (9); Finlay, Keogh (5); Kistler (4); Parable, Serjeant, Riordan, Vanderlei, Jameson (1) - 2 o.g. - 69 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-3) 1 - Corren (c); 2 - Guiliani, 5 - Duguid, 17 - Serjeant, 3 - Riordan; 4 - Finlay, 13 - Vanderlei, 8 - Gazzincha; 7 - Stenet, 10 - Haldenstadt, 21 - Tsikitsiris
In: Rune Haldenstadt (Sabrefell Moths, 3m), Gazzincha (Granger Dragonites, 3m)
Out: Louis Rhodes (Phalanx AF, 15m), Rui Mokanga (Mallox, free)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 13th, W19, D7, L20, GF69, GA80, 64 pts
65: Premiership; 12th, W18, D7, L21, GF68, GA74, 61 pts
64: Premiership; 5th, W20, D14, L12, GF68, GA50, 74 pts, Globe Cup
63: Premiership; 5th, W21, D14, L11, GF66, GA43, 77 pts, Globe Cup
62: Premiership; 4th, W25, D13, L8, GF68, GA41, 88 pts, Champions Cup
61: Premiership; 10th, W19, D12, L15, GF65, GA43, 69 pts
60: Premiership; 4th, W22, D16, L8, GF70, GA51, 82 pts, Champions Cup
59: Premiership; 4th, W25, D9, L12, GF73, GA49, 84 pts, Globe Cup
58: Premiership; 13th, W19, D6, L21, GF51, GA63, 63 pts
57: Premiership; 10th, W19, D12, L15, GF53, GA52, 69 pts

Louis Rhodes handing in a transfer request almost immediately after the final whistle of the NFA Cup final blew felt like a watershed moment for the Spiders, and he made his feelings on the Spiders' failings public when the ink on a new contract was barely dry. Perhaps it's understandable that he'd rather cavort with the likes of Sable, Stockinger and Tsattalios than look on the bench at Damian Keogh some more. Rui Mokanga, a fan favourite, also departed - clearly past his best but always giving everything he had - and how much longer before other stars like Guiliani, Corren (with Vermillion Rage having had a bid turned down) and Tsikitsiris follow suit? Anyway, they've at least brought in the Moths' backup striker, who does likely represent an upgrade. But bizarrely, they opted to set three million pounds on fire to bring in Gazzincha, half-Nepharim, half-Islander and largely a failure in both countries. To put it kindly, a gamble. To put it unkindly, suicide.

So what do they have? Well, Lara Finch has had them play more and more attacking in recent years, and at least she's shown trust in youth. And if there's one thing North Laithland has purely due to its region, it's a big catchment of youth. Steed Corren isn't one of them, but the 32-year old captain is one of the first players associated with the club - a thoroughly modern goalkeeper and the league's best with his feet. Duguid is a remarkably good defender with the ball at his feet, and is comfortable in midfield as well these days - Serjeant is just a young, enthusiastic bruiser, which is charming but can leave his team vulnerable. Guiliani and Riordan are given full licence to be at their best, flying down the wings in support. In midfield, it looks like Rasunda Vanderlei, if not quite the wunderkind once hoped for by the Spiders' faithful, is ready to take her place at the base after some assured performances in preseason, while Finlay has been slowly pushed forward of late into a box-to-box role. Gazzincha, the primary creative influence in theory, is woefully inconsistent. Up front, Stenet is electrifying down the right wing at her best but was at that best far too irregularly last season, while Tsikitsiris is easily their most exciting player given a free role on the left wing to do whatever she wants, which is usually 'score or create goals'. Haldenstadt is a sturdy, hard-running defensive forward, primarily there to aid and abet the wingers and midfielders but likely to get a few goals in his own right. On the bench and in the reserves, a whole lot of 'meh' - the likes of Wintergren, Parable, Keogh and Kistler are NPC characters in the game of life. Before a ball has been kicked this season can already be written off for the Spiders - this policy of stagnation is no way to run a football club. Once an exciting, vibrant young team, all North Laithland has to look forward to this season is the likelihood of at least flirting with the drop.

PREDICTION - 18th.
Manager: Lara Finch
Asst. Manager: Nikita Amstell
Goalkeepers: 1 - Steed Corren, 12 - Gerhard Sinstadt, 20 - Ophelia Rattin
Defenders: 2 - Alessandra Guiliani (OSR), 3 - Karsten Riordan, 5 - Brandon Duguid (BRE), 6 - Rook Kennedy (c), 17 - Christian Serjeant, 18 - Medea Tsicaderis, 19 - Gabriel Traustram, 23 - Harald Reuser
Midfielders: 4 - Ross Finlay (TLI), 8 - Gazzincha, 13 - Rasunda Vanderlei, 15 - Luke Wintergren, 19 - Julian Parable, 35 - Marcia Lapwing
Forwards: 7 - Prisca Stenet, 9 - Damian Keogh, 10 - Rune Haldenstadt (SEM), 11 - Lavender Jameson, 14 - Rosary Kistler, 21 - Dimitra Tsikitsiris, 22 - Patricia Etheridge

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League Finish: 6th
Cup Run: Third Round
Stadium: Knightsgrave (43,000)
Nickname: the Saints
Captain: Alastair Brun
Goal Tallies: Berisha (16); Telfair (15); Rademacher (11); Rouseff, Frei (10); Rowan, McEthinly (6); Hexmark (3); Brun, Sorrenson (2); Alexandros, Shawcroft (1) - 2 o.g. - 85 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-3) 12 - Koufax; 2 - Alexandros, 5 - Brun (c), 6 - Beckett, 3 - Avery; 13 - Frei, 8 - Womack, 11 - Rademacher; 22 - Berisha, 21 - Uzunlar, 13 - Dragana
In: Jazmin Dragana (Bishop, 6.5m), Darren Koufax (Maximum City, 2.5m), Sinan Uzunlar (Cranequin City, 2.5m)
Promoted: Kirsten Howlett (RW, 19), Makis Kotsonis (CM, 18)
Out: Ursula Rowan (Cassandra City, 7m), Jakob Carter (Cypher Town, 1.25m), Valentin Hexmark (Aestahaade, free), Dietrich Sorrenson (South Laithland, free), Sasha Shawcroft (Bishop, free)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 6th, W24, D7, L15, GF85, GA66, 79 pts
65: Premiership; 14th, W16, D10, L20, GF64, GA75, 58 pts
64: Premiership; 9th, W19, D10, L17, GF77, GA67, 67 pts
63: First Division; 1st, W31, D8, L7, GF100, GA40, 101 pts, Promoted
62: Premiership; 23rd, W8, D14, L24, GF43, GA74, 38 pts, Relegated
61: Premiership; 17th, W13, D9, L24, GF48, GA72, 48 pts
60: Premiership; 18th, W14, D13, L19, GF64, GA68, 55 pts
59: Premiership; 13th, W16, D13, L17, GF46, GA56, 61 pts, Cup Winners
58: Premiership; 14th, W16, D11, L19, GF54, GA51, 59 pts
57: Premiership; 19th, W11, D15, L20, GF49, GA66, 48 pts

Oh, Spike Turnbull really outdid herself this time. The oldest manager remaining in the top flight at 62, the first manager to ever win the Manager of the Year award twice, she has described this season as 'probably her swansong', and the club has allowed her to spend lavishly in search of a campaign on two fronts after qualification to the Globe Cup group stage. Most of it immediately went to Chromatik international Jazmin Dragana and the arrival of firebrand Sinan Uzunlar from the second tier, because apparently 85 league goals wasn't enough. Darren Koufax, an untested but promising young goalkeeper, is a relatively expensive but welcome addition. There's just one problem - Ursula Rowan, given a tiny sniff of the spotlight last season, immediately seized it to become their player of the campaign, the heartbeat of the side, and now she's fucked off to Cassandra City (who only went after her as their second-choice to Konrad Gosforth). Oh, yeah, and a bunch of other guys left too (not the best policy for a side set to be fighting on three fronts), but Rowan's the one that hurts.

So the question then is; what's left? Well, chances are Turnbull will set 'em up to do much the same as last season - just break them down with power and pace. It's hard to say who the starting goalkeeper will be, but Darren Koufax is likely to be given the nod, at least at first - he ticks all the boxes on paper, and both his and Klavier's distribution is excellent. Centre-halves? They've got 'em. Brun and Beckett are as solid and unexciting as they come. On the flanks, Alexandros and Avery aren't the best in the business but they are both extremely quick, and, hell, that's what matters. Alexandros is less quick these days, admittedly, but she shows a midfielder's cool edge on the ball. Olaf Womack, now 32, was unexpectedly key to their chances last season. Over the hill? No way in hell. Womack has one job, and that's to destroy people - not for nothing did he lead the entire league in fouls and cautions last season! That allows the idealists, Frei and Rademacher, to run forward to their heart's content - classic box-to-box midfielders with eyes for goal. Rademacher's slightly more talented, Frei's tougher. On the flanks, Berisha and Dragana are... also very fast. That's a theme. Berisha's fairly orthodox but Dragana won plaudits for her ability to cut inside and really hurt teams with incisive diagonal runs. Spearheading the team will be Sinan Uzunlar, perfect on paper. Very strong and very fast, he scored eighteen goals last season for a team that didn't play to his strengths the way Parrhesia will. Lots of ability on the bench, too, and that's important playing across multiple competitions. Klavier, Mixe and Telfair are all proven at this level, there's promising young blood in the likes of McEthinly and Mastiff while even the much-maligned Cheney Gestede stepped up admirably during Womack's many suspensions. The Saints are set for bright things, though they may struggle, Rowanless, to achieve another UICA finish. They're in the mix, though, and should do well in the Globe Cup.

PREDICTION - 9th.
Manager: Spike Turnbull
Asst. Manager: Reuben Price
Goalkeeper: 1 - Aphrodite Klavier, 12 - Darren Koufax, 20 - Arda Yilmaz
Defenders: 2 - Hellenica Alexandros, 3 - Tasha Avery, 5 - Alastair Brun (APX, c), 6 - Constantine Beckett, 17 - Dimitra Altman, 19 - Leonhard Mixe (FFD), 21 - Priscilla Boyden, 23 - Lazlo Kearney, 28 - Claudia Solwood
Midfielders: 4 - Cheney Gestede, 8 - Olaf Womack (COS), 11 - Swabia Rademacher, 13 - Christian Frei, 16 - Saturn Mastiff, 37 - Makis Kotsonis
Forwards: 7 - Sylvia Rouseff, 9 - Atherton Telfair (COS), 10 - Quinn McEthinly (SCT), 13 - Jazmin Dragana (CMT), 21 - Sinan Uzunlar, 22 - Swanhilda Berisha, 39 - Kirsten Howlett

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League Finish: Champions (First Division)
Cup Run: Semifinals
Stadium: Rookridge (42,000)
Nickname: River, the Ravens, the Ferrymen
Captain: Matt Bowerman
Goal Tallies: Kaskanis (26); Petkovic (17); Arbor (16); Kendall (9); Cassadore (8); Lindgren (5); Marinello (3); Mathers, Dimitriades (2); Chancellor, Hannaday, Kubala (1) - 2 o. g. - 93 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-1-2) 1 - Bowerman (c); 6 - Kaeman, 18 - Caravel, 5 - Dimitriades, 3 - Tenenbaum; 7 - Kilbane, 15 - Naumoff, 13 - Cassadore; 23 - Petkovic; 12 - Lynwood, 16 - Kaskanis
In: Maxine Lynwood (Goodfeather FC, 4m), Diandra Kilbane (Northern Union, 2m)
Out: Morgan Kendall (SSC Crespoli, free), Adelaide Mathers (Pur, free), John Taylor (Anomalies, free), Sigrid Cooper (Southfell United, free)
Promoted: Hywel Wodework (LB, 19), Althea Taliadoros (GK, 18)

RECENT HISTORY
66: First Division; 1st, W28, D11, L7, GF93, GA41, 95 pts, Promoted
65: First Division; 5th, W24, D10, L12, GF80, GA51, 82 pts
64: Premiership; 23rd, W14, D8, L24, GF48, L71, 50 pts, Relegated
63: Premiership; 20th, W12, D15, L19, GF46, GA65, 51 pts
62: First Division; 1st, W31, D8, L7, GF89, GA45, 101 pts, Promoted
61: Premiership; 23rd, W11, D7, L28, GF48, GA85, 40 pts, Relegated
60: Premiership; 14th, W16, D14, L16, GF72, GA64, 62 pts, Cup Winners
59: Premiership; 14th, W16, D11, L19, GF65, GA72, 59 pts
58: Premiership; 11th, W18, D14, L14, GF81, GA65, 68 pts
57: Premiership; 13th, W15, D16, L15, GF53, GA53, 61 pts

It took two bites at the cherry, but River are back under the impressive leadership of 39-year old manager Cheney Bittencourt, the former international striker. The patchwork side he'd been left managed to claw their way to the title with relative ease, and ended the season 14 points and close to forty goals ahead of Sheridan in 5th (and one goal away from an NFA Cup Final) but even then it was time for a clearout. Four players were released, all in their thirties, including the inspirational captain Morgan Kendall (an icon at the club) - and, granted, 6 million was splashed on replacements who were also in their thirties, chiefly on Maxine Lynwood, a player who has been relegated four times (not the best of omens, it has to be said!), and 34-year old Kilbane.

So what River have is a very good side with some very important elements added to it. Many key elements of the side are homegrown, and most have Premiership experience. Matt Bowerman is an exceptional shot-stopper and good all-round goalkeeper, traditional and redoubtable, and by all accounts a worthy captain post-Kendall. Ahead of him, a very solid back four - Caravel is surprisingly quick and Dimitriades shouts a lot and bashes people, with supportive hard-running fullbacks in Kaeman and Tenenbaum acting as defenders first but happy to provide width. The midfield follows a straightforward dynamic - Kilbane, a distinguished veteran of Crisisbless (among others) with 70 caps and 13 goals for Brenecia to her name, is the largely immobile but more than capable technician, while Cassadore (22) has great vision and an infectious enthusiasm while Kaya Naumoff (21) is an emerging talent, clean-heeled and intelligent and the reigning First Division Young Player of the Year for good reason. Zivka Petkovic, a Pasargan formerly of the Pinnacle Project, had a breakthrough season last year linking up with the lethal forwards, the dominant physical force of Kaskanis and the seasoned journeywoman poacher Lynwood. On the bench, plenty more Premiership experience in the likes of Mbukane, the muscular Heffernan, Marinello, Arbor and Lindgren, while Taliadoros and Kubala are ones to watch.

PREDICTION - 16th.
Manager: Cheney Bittencourt
Asst. Manager: Daniella Strauss
Goalkeepers: 1 - Matt Bowerman (c), 20 - Gareth Commonstock, 30 - Althea Taliadoros
Defenders: 2 - Devante Mbukane (SEM), 3 - Faith Tenenbaum, 5 - Zoltan Dimitriades, 6 - Jasmine Kaeman, 18 - Hannes Caravel, 19 - Costil Pryce, 25 - Adrian Corewood, 33 - Hywel Wodework
Midfielders: 4 - Adrian Heffernan, 7 - Diandra Kilbane (BRE), 8 - Alexis Hannaday, 11 - Raelene Marinello (NSI), 13 - Isabella Cassadore, 15 - Kaya Naumoff, 23 - Zivka Petkovic (PAS), 35 - Ferenc Kubala
Strikers: 9 - Nikita Arbor, 10 - Casper Lindgren (SEM), 12 - Maxine Lynwood, 16 - Apotheosis Kaskanis, 22 - Joanna Chancellor

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League Finish: 5th
Cup Run: Champions
Stadium: The Barbarossa (72,000)
Nickname: the Reds
Captain: Levin Castellan
Goal Tallies: Bereveskos (17); Rudden (16); Ferryman, Lucassen, Wardenier (13); Castellan (10); Darke, Oehman (4); Moravec (2); Layland, Sarracena, Lovelock (1) - 1 o.g. - 96 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-3) 1 - Pressinger; 2 - Morningstar, 5 - Gerhardt, 19 - Campbell, 3 - Lovelock; 15 - Coltrane, 4 - Sarracena (c), 8 - Ferryman; 21 - Bereveskos, 10 - Lucassen, 13 - Rudden
In: Oscar Coltrane (Brigham, 40m), Erika Morningstar (CD Barrio el Ninyo, 12m), Michael Campbell (New St. Johns, 3m), Gareth Corvine (returned from loan)
Out: Olenna Darke (Urbanista, 4m), Kurtis Rough (Morningstar, 2.5m), Jasper Sorrenson (Sheridan, free)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 5th, W23, D11, L12, GF96, GA64, 80 pts, Globe Cup, Cup Winners
65: Premiership; 3rd, W25, D11, L10, GF77, GA42, 86 pts, Champions Cup
64: Premiership; 12th, W16, D15, L15, GF61, GA62, 63 pts
63: Premiership; 4th, W22, D14, L10, GF86, GA53, 80 pts, Champions Cup
62: Premiership; 8th, W19, D12, L15, GF69, GA50, 69 pts
61: Premiership; 8th, W21, D11, L14, GF66, GA50, 74 pts
60: Premiership; 7th, W18, D16, L12, GF63, GA58, 70 pts, Globe Cup
59: Premiership; 6th, W20, D15, L11, GF78, GA56, 75 pts, Champions Cup
58: Premiership; 1st, W29, D10, L7, GF93, GA41, 97 pts, Champions Cup
57: Premiership; 4th, W25, D10, L11, GF76, GA46, 85 pts, Globe Cup

Athletic have made a statement of intent. Specifically, to the tune of fifty-five million pounds. Last season was good, of course - they won silverware! They scored close to a hundred goals! But that team, that extremely solid team, needed reinforcement. And that reinforcement shall be Oscar Coltrane, forty million pounds from Eura, a legitimate world-class midfielder just entering his prime at 25. It shall also be Erika Morningstar, the powerful keystone to the Chromatik defence of late - she reportedly took a sizable pay cut to play for a competitive side in a strong league. Less heralded but worthy of note is Michael Campbell, who Brunet has talked up arguably most of all. Corvine returns after a productive season for Serpentine as well, and should play an important bit-role in this season. Outgoing - Olenna Darke and Jasper Sorrenson never really put their feet down and made impacts at the club, though they were important pieces of various successes, while Kurtis Rough handed in a request.

Daniel Brunet is quietly confident that he has a title-winning side here, and on paper... yeah, he just might, you know? Lind Pressinger is an excellent goalkeeper, and a lot of people reckon he should have been between Nephara's posts for the past five years (he was Riether's designated successor, but Shale favoured Hargrave). He's got a hard-bitten defence in front of him, helpfully. Morningstar is a powerful, energetic defender's defender, Gerhardt is an elegant, clever tower of lean muscle, Campbell is a resilient hard man and Ophelia Lovelock excels going forward. Covering them, Yupanqui Sarracena is still one of the premier holding midfielders in the league, though this could be his last season - he's played many, many seasons in the league, but has said he wants to win the league one last time. Ahead of him, Coltrane is... a forty-million pound man. Alexa Ferryman is all pace, ambition and vision, an exuberant player who opens games. And if that wasn't enough, the front three is also exceptional. Bereveskos loves tearing down the flank, carving fullbacks apart and making things happen, the diminutive Chloe Rudden on the left is maybe the fastest player in the league and Wardenier is an intelligent, incisive forward. The three are very fluid and very good at mixing it up. Loads of options on the bench, too! Lauren, an attacking rightback, Moravec and Layland, veteran defensive players, the aging rapier Oehman, a more conventional striker in Lucassen, and the muscular captain Levin Castellan. This is an excellent side, top to bottom - they really do look like title favourites.

PREDICTION - Champions.
Manager: Daniel Brunet
Asst. Manager: Cheney Rutherford
Goalkeepers: 1 - Lind Pressinger, 12 - Daniel Fitzmarten, 30 - Alistair Swepstone
Defenders: 2 - Erika Morningstar (CMT), 3 - Ophelia Lovelock (BRE), 5 - Bronwyn Gerhardt, 6 - Zdenek Moravec (PAS), 17 - Robyn Lauren, 19 - Michael Campbell (PCR), 22 - Lena Iserlohn, 25 - Gareth Krane
Midfielders: 4 - Yunpaqui Sarracena (NSI, vc), 8 - Alexa Ferryman, 14 - Valerie Webber, 15 - Oscar Coltrane (EUR), 18 - Levin Castellan (c), 23 - Elsa Layland
Forwards: 7 - Abigail Mueller, 9 - Avila Wardenier, 10 - Linden Lucassen (COS), 11 - Ole Oehman (COS), 13 - Chloe Rudden (SCT), 16 - Morten Crestwell, 21 - Andrea Bereveskos, 24 - Gareth Corvine

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League Finish: 3rd
Cup Run: Fifth Round
Stadium: Gargoyle’s Court (53,000)
Nickname: the Moths
Captain: Kirsten Cliving
Goal Tallies: Johnson (30); Hargreaves, Meier (14); Belgrave (11); Cliving (8); Haldenstadt, Jaeger (6); Tambor (4); Etzebeth, Griffiths, Weaver, Cathar (2) - 101 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-4-2) 1 - Griffin; 2 - Haines, 6 - Armstrong, 19 - Weiss (c), 3 - Desantis; 13 - Belgrave, 4 - Serra, 8 - Etzebeth, 11 - Meier; 15 - Jaeger, 10 - Johnson
In: Robert Griffin (Blackfields, 15m), Reinhard Armstrong (AFC Treason, 6m), Federico Serra (Northern Union, 6m), Jon Haines (AFC Mayville, 5.5m), Pamala Croft (Northern Union, 5m), Theresa Desantis (Cardnid Town, 4m)
Promoted: Corona Sharpe (ST, 20), Lux Vicelich (LB, 19), Sigrid Eisenhauer (ST, 18), Catheline Marchant (CM, 18)
Out: Nevaeh Cathar (Avenida Leal, undisclosed), Gudrun Crowley (Pelethas United, 8m), Nikita Griffiths (Crossroads, 8m), Isadora Caravella (Brookford Otters, 3.5m), Gareth Austine (RGS Athletic, 3m), Rune Haldenstadt (North Laithland, 3m), Everard Tawney (Corvette Maulers, 2.5m), Joan Casemere (East Laithland Harriers, 1.7m)
Retired: Lucia Pembroke (CB, 36)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 3rd, W26, D9, L11, GF101, GA58, 87 pts, Champions Cup
65: Premiership; 7th, W23, D11, L12, GF92, GA60, 80 pts, Globe Cup, Cup Winners
64: Premiership; 7th, W19, D13, L14, GF69, GA66, 70 pts, Globe Cup
63: Premiership; 3rd, W26, D5, L15, GF85, GA60, 83 pts, Champions Cup
62: Premiership; 6th, W23, D7, L16, GF66, GA56, 76 pts, Globe Cup
61: Premiership; 2nd, W26, D14, L6, GF81, GA34, 92 pts, Champions Cup
60: Premiership; 1st, W30, D5, L11, GF78, GA37, 95 pts, Champions Cup
59: Premiership; 3rd, W26, D7, L13 ,GF90, GA54, 85 pts, Champions Cup
58: Premiership; 8th, W21, D10, L15, GF62, GA57, 73 pts, Cup Winners
57: Premiership; 12th, W18, D13, L15, GF62, GA49, 67 pts

Third place, and a flurry of activity in the offseason. A strong season for Gerhard Thunder, but a mass clearout, well... Cathar wanted to move 'for personal growth' (and also, perhaps, to escape certain influences back home), Crowley wanted to leave just out of traditional Nepharim wanderlust, one-club woman Pembroke retired while Griffiths, Caravella, Austine, Haldenstadt, Tawney and Casemere all decided they needed first-team football. At once. It's raised a fair bit of revenue, though, and the upshot has been that Thunder has managed to rejuventae the side. A new goalkeeper, new fullbacks, a new defender, a new midfielder and a backup striker are all brought in - two escaping the troubles in Eura, two escaping scandal-hit Northern Union, and Armstrong looking for first-team football himself. Most strikingly of all, Thunder's faith in the academy is strong. Each of the four called up will be expected to do their part in the campaign to come, and Lux Vicelich in particular shows extreme promise.

Thunder will continue to favour his attack-minded, traditionally blood-pumping 4-4-2. Robert Griffin is an excellent goalkeeper for them, and they fended off interest from Crisisbless to get him - a formidable commander, a brilliant shot-stopper and a Eura international. At rightback, Haines is young, raw and likes to go forward and put pressure on his mark, as well as opposing defences. Armstrong and Weiss are a typical steel-and-silk partnership, while Desantis on the left is a clever defender first and foremost. In the heart of midfield, Etzebeth is a pure holding player while Serra, who has perhaps the worst luck with clubs of... any player, ever, is a typically Osarian midfielder. Passionate, technical and diligent. On the flanks, Belgrave and Meier have all the license they could ask for to attack, whether cutting inside or going the orthodox route, and they're even fairly comfortable switching flanks. Up front, Mathilda Jaeger is a quick, fluid supporting striker, sturdy enough to play with her back to goal - her role is largely to enable Aaliyah Johnson to shine. Johnson herself is arguably the finest striker the Premiership has ever seen, enough said. Thunder trusts youth on his bench, with the attack-minded Vicelich particularly promising, but seasoned players like Kilgallon, Hargraves, Croft, Weaver and the captain Kirsten Cliving offer cooler heads if they're required. The Moths are gunning for the title - but one senses they might just run out of steam by the end of the season.

PREDICTION - 2nd.
Manager: Gerhard Thunder
Asst. Manager: Audrey Carlock
Goalkeepers: 1 - Robert Griffin (EUR), 12 - Sheila Kilgallon, 25 - Jacqui Edmond
Defenders: 2 - Jon Haines (EUR), 3 - Theresa Desantis (ETH), 5 - Pavel Weaver, 6 - Reinhard Armstrong, 17 - Rona Morgantrau, 19 - Jessica Weiss (PAS), 23 - Berthold Albrecht, 30 - Lux Vicelich
Midfielders: 4 - Federico Serra (OSR), 7 - Sabina Tambor, 8 - Orion Etzebeth, 11 - Scheherazade Meier, 13 - Cardinal Belgrave, 18 - Kirsten Cliving (c), 20 - Valencia Ashburner, 22 - Leo Hargreaves (EUR), 36 - Catheline Marchant
Forwards: 9 - Pamala Croft (NSI), 10 - Aaliyah Johnson (OSR), 15 - Mathilda Jaeger, 28 - Corona Sharpe, 34 - Sigrid Eisenhauer

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League Finish: 19th
Cup Run: Fourth Round
Stadium: Aventurine Street (20,000)
Nickname: the Dragons
Captain: Gareth Hartson
Goal Tallies: Mason (18); Swanenburg (14); Corvine, Keoman (7); Ornstein (5); Steelbridge (4); Sorrell (2); Penclare, Truiden, Emmerich, Kovalski, Langbauer (1) - 3 o.g. - 65 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-4-2) 12 - Swoboda; 2 - Sorrell, 22 - Kovalski, 5 - McGuinness, 18 - Riesling; 7 - Ornstein, 8 - Keoman, 6 - Emmerich, 13 - Reuter; 9 - Mason, 10 - Apexarena (c)
In: Andrej Reuter (Leichhardt, 2.5m), Frantzisko Apexarena (AC Izotz Zubia, 2m)
Promoted: Ruon Asante (RB, 18), Ishtar Fanaiyan (RM, 18), Raphael Passlach (CM, 19)
Out: Cethin Bramall (FC Matovallanen, free), Scott Penclare (Greygate, free), Elsa Taylor (Chromatik, free), Miriam Steelbridge (Pria, free), Gareth Corvine (returned from loan)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 19th, W12, D16, L18, GF65, GA87, 52 pts
65: First Division; 2nd, W29, D7, L10, GF74, GA41, 94 pts, Promoted
64: First Division; 6th, W21, D8, L17, GF54, GA48, 71 pts
63: Premiership; 22nd, W12, D10, L24, GF52, GA87, 46 pts, Relegated
62: First Division; 4th, W24, D6, L16, GF83, GA51, 78 pts, Promoted
61: Premiership; 22nd, W10, D10, L26, GF43, GA79, 40 pts, Relegated
60: Premiership; 16th, W14, D14, L18, GF66, GA68, 56 pts
59: First Division; 1st, W28, D9, L9, GF76, GA34, 93 pts, Promoted
58: First Division; 5th, W26, D10, L10, GF81, GA43, 88 pts
57: First Division; 6th, W24, D7, L15, GF73, GA59, 79 pts

Serpentine are hoping to make a habit of this. They stayed up without too much trouble last season, largely through scoring buckets of goals (one more goal than 9th-place Newrook). Bronwyn Sadler's decided that haemorrhaging 87 at the other end isn't really a problem and hasn't moved to address this at all, instead focusing on scoring more buckets of goals. Bramall, Penclare, Taylor and Steelbridge, all important squad players last season, were released to pursue other opportunities while Gareth Corvine returns to Sabrefell Athletic - fortunately, he's ably replaced by Andrej Reuter, who's distinguished himself for Leichhardt of late, and the acquisiiton of Frantzisko Apexarena increases the Audioslavian connection while also handily giving them a guy who has scored buckets of goals at the highest level. Ishtar Fanaiyan is also worthy of note - she's a genuinely thrilling prospect, and should contest to start her fair share of games.

So what does Sadler have to work with? Well, behind last season's garbage defence is Andreas Swoboda, an extremely good reflex shot-stopper, but unfortunately in front is still last season's garbage defence. McGuinness and Kovalski are decent, but might not be quite up to this level. Talisca Sorrell's great going forward, but a defensive liability. Riesling's just a defensive liability. The soft centre continues to the midfield - not Ranulf Emmerich, who is a rough and ready battler in the heart of midfield, but Keoman, tidy and even gifted on her day, occasionally just looked lost at this level. On the wings, though, Ornstein is a bruising, physical and orthodox winger, while Reuter on the left can really make things happen and has an eye for making the right runs at the right time. Up front, two consistent goalscorers - the dynamic, fiery Mason and the seasoned veteran Apexarena. It would take an achievement to go down with a strike partnership like that. Sadly, aside from a few standouts - captain Gareth Hartson deserves a mention even if he's only mediocre at this level, and Fanaiyan's already been covered - Serpentine's second-string largely consists of the kind of 2.5-star NPC characters who don't get into your Football Manager save if you don't have the Premiership set to Playable. Are we really expected to believe that Ash Scandard has 74 Premiership appearances to his name? No way in hell. Anyway, it could go really badly wrong for the Dragons if they suffer a few key injuries - Emmerich, Reuter, Sorrell, either main striker - but if all goes to plan, expect another swashbuckling run to survival.

PREDICTION - 17th.
Manager: Bronwyn Sadler
Asst. Manager: Gerhard Cambridge
Goalkeepers: 1 - Gareth Hartson (c), 12 - Andreas Swoboda, 30 - Brandon Connell
Defenders: 2 - Talisca Sorrell, 3 - Ash Scandard, 5 - Orlagh McGuinness (MBT), 18 - Yehoshua Riesling, 19 - Fortune Adeleke, 22 - Harland Kovalski (AUD), 23 - Nils Armbruster, 32 - Ruon Asante
Midfielders: 6 - Ranulf Emmerich, 7 - Lezalit Ornstein, 8 - Ashley Keoman, 11 - Hannah Truiden, 13 - Andrej Reuter, 21 - Jorja Pfenning, 31 - Raphael Passlach, 36 - Ishtar Fanaiyan
Forwards: 9 - Carrie Mason, 10 - Frantzisko Apexarena (AUD, vc), 15 - Mateo Keepton, 16 - Grigori Swanenburg (AUD), 14 - Coraline Langbauer
WCC Grand Slam champion.
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Nephara
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Postby Nephara » Sun May 21, 2017 1:50 pm

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League Finish: 4th
Cup Run: Quarterfinals
Stadium: Jade Park (24,000)
Nickname: the Passerines
Captain: Justinian Hargrave
Goal Tallies: Andisori, Cautcher (25); Gallagher (13); Asif (9); Kaspian, Westerlow (6); Kaelin (3); Corvalan, Auttenberg (2); Woodwind, Costello, Marquon (1) - 94 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-4-2) 1 - Hargrave (c); 18 - Koehler, 4 - McNessa, 3 - Marquon, 6 - Surman; 21 - Gryphon; 11 - Armstrong, 8 - Gallagher, 13 - Kaspian; 10 - Hawke, 9 - Andisori
In: Catherine Gryphon (Northern Union, 25m), Liam Armstrong (Unioneers, 13m), Estrella Hawke (returned from loan)
Promoted: Mathis Orsay (CB, 21), Maxi Lundgren (GK, 20), Misha Symond (RB, 19), Evangeline Aschenbach (CM, 18)
Out: Claudia Cautcher (Crisisbless, 14m), Melissa Aspen (LSC Dunelan, free), Athana Finchcleft (Loconstead United, free), Emery Hastings (Coret Hawks, free), Steed Fowler (Northern Stallions, free), Sleipnir Woodwind (Morningstar, loan)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 4th, W26, D8, L12, GF94, GA47, 86 pts, Champions Cup
65: Premiership; 6th, W23, D13, L10, GF72, GA43, 82 pts, Globe Cup
64: Premiership; 1st, W23, D10, L13, GF66, GA49, 79 pts, Champions Cup
63: Premiership; 1st, W27, D8, L11, GF71, GA42, 89 pts, Champions Cup
62: Premiership; 13th, W17, D11, L18, GF65, GA66, 62 pts
61: Premiership; 18th, W12, D12, L22, GF46, GA70, 48 pts
60: First Division; 1st, W26, D10, L10, GF84, GA51, 88 pts, Promoted
59: Premiership; 23rd, W7, D17, L22, GF35, GA71, 38 pts, Relegated
58: First Division; 2nd, W29, D12, L5, GF90, GA40, 99 pts, Promoted
57: First Division; 10th, W18, D12, L16, GF79, GA56, 66 pts

Two defeats in the first 31 matches. Ten from the last fifteen. Thus was the sad end to Starling's season and, ultimately, Amethyst Fegelein's time at the club. She’s off to the national team job now, and all the luck in the world to her. But she’s left the task in good hands, now - Lisa Amos, after resigning from her post with San Jose Guayabal, takes up the post vacated after Fegelein took up the post vacated by Shale, who lost it after being pulverised by Amos’ SJG side. Cycles. Anyway, she’s mostly found the situation to her liking, though she did let four players go on frees, loaned out the promising Woodwind to Morningstar (though her future is uncertain) and, surprisingly, sold experienced international striker Claudia Cautcher to Crisisbless for 14 million. Then she got to work on the midfield - specifically, managing to gazump RGS Athletic for Catherine Gryphon’s much sought-after signature, and then snapped up Liam Armstrong to serve as her playmaker. Young striker Hawke returned from a wildly successful loan spell with Lammerton and to fill the gaps in the squad Amos put her trust in the academy, calling up four players - of which Orsay and especially Aschenbach are considered particularly promising.

Ever the tinker, Amos has shifted the squad forward, packed the midfield with capable marauders and looks to overwhelm teams. No changes needed between the posts - Justinian Hargrave is still himself, still as redoubtable as ever, just someone who refuses to make mistakes. He’s got the armband these days, a true commander of his side. Deirdre McNessa more or less owes the rebirth of her career to Starling, and has never failed to repay that debt match by match - she’s partnered by the silky, clever Marquon. Not the most intimidating partnership, but they defend too well to need to resort to clattering challenges. Koehler and Surman are fine for that, though. Both are defensive-minded, which fits this new formation and ensures they won’t get too exposed on the wings. Catherine Gryphon has been handed the unenviable task of holding the line for an attack-minded midfield, though she’s also a brilliant set piece taker and long passer - a legitimately world-class defensive midfielder and almost certainly the best Brenecian player in history, though that’s admittedly faint praise. Armstrong is the playmaker of the advanced midfielders, Kaspian more of a conventional winger in skillset while Malachi Gallagher runs… a lot. Hard. And fast. He’s back to his best after a somewhat muted 65. They’ll all be expected to do their part, pressing high and defending from the front (something of a specialty for Armstrong and Gallagher, in particular). Up front, Hawke and Andisori are a combined age of 41 and are both, well. Andisori is a brilliant technical goalscorer - all first touch and ruthless finish - while Hawke is a brilliant physical goalscorer - all power and pace. The rest of the team, well, it’s clear to see that Amos values talented youth - Castor, Orsay, Kaelin, Aschenbach and Corvalan will all expect to get a fair few minutes on the pitch - but some of the familiar faces of the past remain. Westerlow’s a sometimes erratic but sometimes devastating impact substitute, while Sutton, Asif and Costello are arguably the best backup midfielders in the league, an embarrassment of riches. So, yeah, this might not be the Passerines’ time to sweep all before them - but time is very much on their side, and they might well impress a few people while they build.

PREDICTION - 6th.
Manager: Lisa Amos (CMT)
Asst. Manager: Markus Horst
Goalkeepers: 1 - Justinian Hargrave, 12 - Reinhard Meixner, 25 - Maxi Lundgren
Defenders: 3 - Francesca Marquon, 4 - Deirdre McNessa (COS), 5 - Mathis Orsay, 6 - Hyacinth Surman, 18 - Mirko Koehler, 19 - Helvetica Scaffell, 31 - Misha Symond, 34 - Lyre Castor
Midfielders: 7 - Ali Asif (EFL), 8 - Malachi Gallagher, 11 - Liam Armstrong, 13 - Lucius Kaspian (COS), 15 - Athana Finchcleft, 17 - Elsa Kaelin, 20 - Josie Sutton, 21 - Catherine Gryphon (BRE), 23 - Nicola Costello (OSR)
Forwards: 9 - Keira Andisori (CMT), 10 - Estrella Hawke, 16 - Hansi Westerlow, 22 - Ingrid Auttenberg, 36 - Cesar Corvalan
Out on Loan: 14 - Sleipnir Woodwind

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League Finish: Champions
Cup Run: Third Round
Stadium: The Gauntlet (65,000)
Nickname: the Stags
Captain: Scylla Vyntra
Goal Tallies: Fraser (28); Cantor (26); Tarashaj (13); Woodspur (9); Vesper, Portsgate (7); Labonne, Svensson (3); Westmead, Vyntra (2); Kuijer, Kantaroff, Preussler (1) - 1 o.g. - 104 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-4-2) 1 - Fletcher; 17 - Lopes, 19 - Svensson, 6 - Katskalidis, 2 - Vyntra (c); 7 - Woodspur, 4 - Labonne, 8 - Tarashaj, 11 - Vesper; 9 - Fraser, 10 - Cantor
In: Alexander Lopes (CD FAS, undisclosed)
Promoted: Amber Trahearne (CM, 18), Sigurd Rustwyth (GK, 18), Konrad Vornander (CB, 19)
Out: Diandra Ballard (FC Samotath, 6m), Reinhard Armstrong (Sabrefell Moths, 6m), Sansa Dreyfuss (Belgrave, 2.5m)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 1st, W32, D3, L11, GF104, GA51, 99 pts, Champions Cup
65: Premiership; 1st, W27, D10, L9, GF90, GA50, 91 pts, Champions Cup
64: Premiership; 4th, W22, D9, L15, GF69, GA50, 75 pts, Champions Cup
63: Premiership; 7th, W20, D15, L11, GF73, GA56, 75 pts, Globe Cup
62: Premiership; 3rd, W26, D11, L9, GF81, GA51, 89 pts, Champions Cup
61: Premiership; 7th, W22, D11, L13, GF76, GA45, 77 pts, Globe Cup
60: Premiership; 9th, W19, D10, L17, GF54, GA47, 67 pts
59: Premiership; 9th, W18, D17, L11, GF61, GA49, 71 pts
58: Premiership; 4th, W22, D14, L10, GF69, GA44, 80 pts, Globe Cup
57: Premiership; 1st, W28, D11, L7, GF89, GA42, 95 pts, Champions Cup

Champions, for the seventh time. Ben Randall has secured a legacy here at the Stags, and will aim to equal Brinemouth's record of three Premiership titles in a row. He's very happy with the side he had, though - why change a winning formula? His one major signing in the offseason has been Alexander Lopes, a veteran Valladar international fullback, for an undisclosed fee. The formidable Konrad Vornander and Sigurd Rustwyth represent sufficient signings in themselves. At least, that's the spin. The simple fact is that this is a side largely in its prime that already fought ably on a number of fronts - why bother switching it up? They have, admittedly, lost their backup centre-half to the Moths, another defender in Dreyfuss and Diandra Ballard, a club and national icon, to Cosumar. They were fortunate to have Fletcher in readiness when Ballard was injured last season, and the goalkeeper (now officially number 1) was the player of the year. What happens if Fletcher's injured?

Randall won't waste time worrying about it. Gideon Fletcher is a world-class goalkeeper, younger than you'd think at 27, and set for things that are greater still. Ahead of him, Peter Svensson is an exceptional centre-half, powerful, determined, arguably the best in the game at his position. World Champion Calliope Katskalidis alongside him isn't bad either - less finesse, all power and pace. Westmead will likely play at rightback against weaker sides Treason can dominate, but Lopes offers a more seasoned defensive option against top sides, while on the left Scylla Vyntra is as two-footed, incisive and dangerous as ever, while still solid defensively. Labonne sits, calm and clean, while the furious bustle of Tarashaj tears around the pitch and thumps powerful shots on goal. Mariska Woodspur is all pace, all the time, hard-running and always getting into dangerous positions. Vesper's slower these days, favouring more technical, clean-heeled runs down the left, and as deadly operating in concert with close friend Vyntra as ever. And, of course, strikers. Roddy Fraser - need anything more be said? He's always in the right place at the right time, and Igrene Cantor has a thunderous left boot that's a threat to goalnets around the world. Pure goalscorers, both of them. And of course, it's Treason, so the bench is packed with eager local players willing to do their part, of whom Servet Misidjan in particular is expected to do great things. Seasoned forward Sabrine Portsgate isn't a bad impact substitute to have, either. All in all, you could do worse than to tip Treason for the title - but at the same time, the Sabrefell sides in particular have really pressed on in a bid to overthrow them. It's set to be a real battle at the top this time around.

PREDICTION - 3rd.
Manager: Ben Randall (EUR)
Asst. Manager: Juergen Stone
Goalkeepers: 1 - Gideon Fletcher, 18 - Besart Schankelen, 30 - Sigurd Rustwyth
Defenders: 2 - Scylla Vyntra, 3 - Nikola Lindgren, 5 - Reinhard Armstrong, 6 - Calliope Katskalidis, 16 - Isadora Przybyla (NSI), 17 - Alexander Lopes (VLD), 19 - Peter Svensson (COS), 23 - Gareth Westmead, 31 - Konrad Vornander
Midfielders: 4 - Marcel Labonne (SEM), 7 - Mariska Woodspur, 8 - Vedran Tarashaj, 11 - Lienke Vesper, 15 - Sonja Dreyer, 20 - Servet Misidjan, 21 - Saskia Kantaroff, 25 - Ana Kuijer, 35 - Amber Trahearne
Forwards: 9 - Roddy Fraser (AUD), 10 - Igrene Cantor, 13 - Sabrine Portsgate, 22 - Ida Preussler, 24 - Helmut Brouwer

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League Finish: 11th
Cup Run: Quarterfinals
Stadium: The Iron Hill (49,500)
Nickname: the Rage, the Lads
Captain: Hye Min Jeong
Goal Tallies: Alemane (15); Cruz (12); Purrington, Madrigal (10); Aveline (8); Runen, Xidhas (6); Pokrovski (4); Jeong, Defaye, Osei-Mensah (2), Rathlinker (1) - 1 o.g. - 79 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-3) 1 - Clement; 2 - Defaye, 6 - Jeong (c), 4 - Preston, 3 - Osei-Mensah; 19 - Aveline, 8 - Tzavellas, 7 - Paulsson; 10 - Alemane, 21 - Antunovic, 23 - Madrigal
In: Ryan Paulsson (Tannenberg FC, 5.5m), Orpheus Clement (Ayeville Pikachus, 4m), Cath Gilchrist (Matekkipper Royals, 2m), Davor Antunovic (Alianza FC, free)
Promoted: Kosta Ouzoundis (CM, 21), Granit Nizarut (LW, 19)
Out: Catherine Purrington (Wye United, 5m), Carsten Thunder (Royal Rumiatzi, 3m), Kamasutra Fernwood (Corvette Maulers, 1.8m), Les Katholos (Helfin Fief, free), Tipio Runen (FC Matovallanen, free)
Retired: Gerry Malone (GK, 37)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 11th, W18, D14, L14, GF79, GA79, 68 pts
65: Premiership; 8th, W23, D11, L12, GF78, GA57, 80 pts
64: Premiership; 2nd, W23, D8, L15, GF78, GA56, 77 pts, Champions Cup
63: Premiership; 15th, W17, D6, L23, GF77, GA86, 57 pts
62: Premiership; 11th, W18, D11, L17, GF66, GA67, 65 pts
61: Premiership; 13th, W18, D10, L18, GF62, GA69, 64 pts
60: Premiership; 8th, W19, D11, L16, GF69, GA60, 68 pts
59: Premiership; 8th, W22, D7, L17, GF76, GA70, 73 pts
58: Premiership; 5th, W21, D12, L13, GF86, GA70, 75 pts, Globe Cup
57: Premiership; 3rd, W26, D8, L12, GF75, GA54, 86 pts

Last season, not much happened - apart from 79 goals at either end, anyway. That's the sort of success Vermillion trade in these days - they're in with a shout of Globe Cup qualification but they're never consistent enough to succeed and, you know, you suspect Theresa Riether's entirely fine with that. Are Vermillion fans content with their club becoming an extended therapy session for the World Cup winning manager? Well, she's done well by them. Anyway, any accusation she isn't taking this seriously will be undercut by a serious bout of spending. Partially this was funded for by Purrington's departure to Wye - a legend, sure, but by 33 even a player of her ability was just too slow and weak for the league. Carsten Thunder stole headlines by following in his father's footsteps with a move to Astograth while squad player Fernwood is shed for funds, Katholos and the captain Runen are released abroad and veteran goalkeeper Gerry Malone retires. They've used these funds well. Two experienced goalkeepers in Clement and Gilchrist come in following the Sunset, while seasoned striker Davor Antunovic is poached after his departure from Alianza and, most impressive of all, Ryan Paulsson was brought in to fill Purrington's sizable shoes. This does, incidentally, mark the fifth season in a row that Vermillion have changed their starting goalkeeper (Seward, Malone, Tsattalios, Thunder and now Clement). On the whole, Vermillion have noticeably strengthened.

So, as ever, Vermillion will set to attack any opponent on their own terms. That starts with a capable goalkeeper in Orpheus Clement, who had a highly successful spell overseas, and who not only stops shots well but has the necessary excellent distribution that life at Vermillion demands. Ahead of him is an often underrated defence - Jeong, at least, is one of the league's best defenders, even if Preston is far too hot-headed. On the flanks, in all honesty, neither Defaye nor Osei-Mensah (though the latter is young) can defend, but they both offer a lot of width going forward down the flanks. They're practically wingbacks. In the midfield, they have a strong unit together. Tzavellas is often underrated and many people feel he's been unlucky not to be capped, just an unglamorous defensive midfielder who keeps everything together. Aveline isn't very fast or strong, but she's clever and has a very delicate touch on her, just a very clean midfielder. But it's Paulsson, very quick, dynamic and with a penchant for breathtaking set pieces who offers both thrust and a playmaking focal point for the side. They have a strong set of forwards, too, naturally. On the flanks, Corvid Alemane is arguably the finest winger in the league when it comes to the 'cut inside and shoot' routine, but that feels so reductive - she's a relentless, rollicking anarchic presence down the right, Madrigal somewhat more orthodox but no less effective an inside-forward while Davor Antunovic might just be the powerful focal point the already-terrifying Vermillion attack's been crying out for. The depth is good, too. Cath Gilchrist is similar to Clement, but worse and notoriously flappy - still one of the more battle-tested backup goalkeepers in the league. Scherer, Ashworth and Xidhas in particular are proven performers at this level while Christa Cruz and Claire Rathlinker are great options to have off the bench. All in all, expect fireworks.

PREDICTION - 8th.
Manager: Theresa Riether
Asst. Manager: Lorelei Redruth
Goalkeepers: 1 - Gerry Malone, 12 - Carsten Thunder, 25 - Gareth Kinneman
Defenders: 2 - Elisa Defaye, 3 - Kojo Osei-Mensah (SEM), 4 - Ronan Preston (TSA), 6 - Hye Min Jeong (QUE, c), 13 - Diana Ashworth, 17 - Daniel Sorrentine, 18 - Hecia Barksdale, 22 - Leontios Skapoulis
Midfielders: 7 - Ryan Paulsson (VLD), 8 - Marios Tzavellas, 11 - Svatioslav Pokrovski (PAS), 14 - Persephone Xidhas, 19 - Ashleigh Aveline, 20 - Eleanora Scherer, 27 - Kosta Ouzoundis
Forwards: 9 - Christa Cruz (ARM), 10 - Corvid Alemane, 15 - Claire Rathlinker, 16 - Joscelyn Ambrose, 21 - Davor Antunovic (PAS) 23 - Coraline Madrigal, 36 - Granit Nizarut

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League Finish: 11th
Cup Run: Third Round
Stadium: The Scythes (29,500)
Nickname: the Chariots
Captain: Alexander Soarhaven
Goal Tallies: Voeller (17); Siorrha'Asione (13); Nemeth (10); St. John (9); Machairas (8); Escrow (6); Raskin (4); Kitteman, Hagicostas, Coppinger (2); Brill, Bermond, Quiverell (1) - 2 o.g. - 78 total
Predicted Starting XI: (4-3-3) 1 - Edelgrau; 2 - Raskin, 5 - Hagicostas, 18 - Soarhaven (c), 3 - Brill; 7 - Nemeth, 6 - Paterson, 22 - Machairas; 10 - Siorrha'Asione, 15 - Voeller, 16 - Carroll
In: Roisin Carroll (CSKA Quebec, 5m)
Promoted: Mirka Ceciu (CB, 19), Laura Belfry (DM, 19)
Out: Sharon Kitteman (Sheridan, 1.75m), Sandra West (Vermillion Wanderers, free), Kieran Hancock (released)

RECENT HISTORY
66: Premiership; 12th, W19, D8, L19, GF78, GA70, 65 pts
65: Premiership; 11th, W20, D9, L17, GF83, GA89, 69 pts
64: Premiership; 14th, W17, D11, L18, GF78, GA85, 62 pts
63: Premiership; 13th, W17, D13, L16, GF74, GA63, 64 pts, Cup Winners
62: Premiership; 10th, W18, D12, L16, GF66, GA60, 66 pts
61: Premiership; 4th, W23, D13, L10, GF91, GA64, 82 pts, Champions Cup
60: Premiership; 2nd, W25, D11, L10, GF85, GA57, 86 pts, Champions Cup
59: Premiership; 5th, W22, D16, L8, GF80, GA44, 82 pts, Globe Cup
58: Premiership; 9th, W19, D14, L13, GF75, GA65, 71 pts
57: Premiership; 11th, W18, D14, L14, GF61, GA47, 68 pts

A slightly disappointing season for the Chariots, but an entertaining one. More intriguingly, Rossizzo's opted to consolidate with a big signing in Brenecia international Roisin Carroll, and... that's basically it? Sharon Kitteman's been sold off to the second tier, while West and Hancock were released. It's surprisingly hard to keep writing words about Violence's offseason without the elephant in the room. It isn't this magazine's place to speculate on precisely the events - the perfect storm, really - that lead to StiinGate. It remains a logistical curiosity that you could thread a pool noodle through the eye of a needle like that, let alone where you'd even find that many flamingos in eastern Sabrefell. A tawdry affair, to be sure, but suffice to say that Siorrha'Asione isn't going to be trusted in the national parks again, though how exactly he got a hot tub out there remains a mystery. And to think it made it onto GoogleMaps!?

Anyway, let's leave that aside for now. Rossizzo retains his faith in the ropey acrobat Maxine Edelgrau, whose strongest asset remains her excellent distribution. Ahead of her, Hagicostas is a solid Premiership defender while Alexander Soarhaven is a cool, calm operator who always, always makes the right decision. Pace is the main issue there, but Edelgrau's a good sweeper behind them. On the flanks, Raskin and Brill are given infinite license to charge forward and make things happen, and Brill in particular is an exceptional prospect. Lilith Paterson is a marauding brawler in the centre of the park to help make space for the charger Nemeth and the playmaker Machairas to thrive. Up front, Stiin Siorrha'Asione... you know, leaving aside the... thing... anyway he's really good. Voeller helps give him space to thrive, a proper beast, while on the left wing Roisin Carroll is a creative visionary, a versatile drifter and all-round threat to everything except the scoresheet. Rossizzo, naturally, favours youth on the bench as well (a few seasoned heads such as Robinson and St. John aside). Of these, Coppinger and Escrow are the shining lights, and should get plenty of chances in the spotlight this season.

PREDICTION - 11th.
Manager: Héctor Rossizzo (FFD)
Asst. Manager: Gonzalo Mordaz (FFD)
Goalkeepers: 1 - Maxine Edelgrau, 20 - Olivia Selkie, 25 - Stefan Bolander
Defenders: 2 - Adelaide Raskin, 3 - Alexis Brill (COS), 5 - Dimitri Hagicostas, 17 - Shara Lankin, 18 - Alexander Soarhaven (COS, c), 19 - Machalat Sauber, 23 - Tomas Ruthven, 35 - Mirka Ceciu
Midfielders: 6 - Lilith Paterson, 7 - Valentine Nemeth, 8 - Lily Robinson, 21 - Inka Quiverell, 22 - Escher Machairas, 31 - Laura Belfry
Forwards: 9 - Claudia Escrow, 10 - Stiin Siorrha'Asione (FFD), 11 - Corentin Jack St. John (MBT), 12 - Brigitte Coppinger, 14 - Interrobang Bermond, 15 - Asher Voeller, 16 - Roisin Carroll (BRE)
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Postby Nephara » Sun May 21, 2017 1:51 pm

First Division Preview

1. Southfell United
Home Colours: Red / black / red
Away Colours: White / red / white
Stadium: Scipio Arena (38,000)
Nickname: the Tanners
Manager: Felipa Medina (34, OSR)
(4-1-3-2) 1 - Sigrid Cooper (31); 2 - Markus Rhein (34), 5 - Markus di Natale (32, c), 19 - Gretchen Hathaway (28), 3 - Gui (26, NSI); 8 - Tristan Lavendor (28); 4 - Coridan Theo (28), 11 - Emerick Hartmann (26), 13 - Regatta Aspenwood (22); 9 - Hadrian Kuepper (32), 14 - Leander Fremantle (23)

Background: Southfell's a large town, once a fortress, just south of Sabrefell and just inland of the coast. United started out as the factory team for leatherworkers, of all things, leading to their current nickname of 'Tanners'. Southfell have mostly been a Premiership side in the modern era, and their fans mostly consider themselves to be such, but they haven't had the best of things lately - that said, they were competing at the sharp end of the top flight when the modern era began. They have a friendly rivalry with the Sabrefell Moths.

Summary: Felipa Medina was never really signed as a player. Written off more or less as a permacrock, she only made eleven appearances for Southfell but did all the coaching badges and slotted straight into the coaching staff. And then, when the last guy got fired, straight into the hot seat. Controversial, but exciting! She's hoping to rehabilitate the disaffected veteran Sigrid Cooper between her posts, and has the nucleus of a title-winning side. As long as they can pull things together, and it seems like Medina's the right person to make it happen. There's a Premiership-hardened core here, particularly in the defence, while bright young gun Regatta Aspenwood adds an element of unpredictability up front. The strikers are a bit ropey, granted - Kuepper's reliable enough, but old, while Fremantle's not... brilliant. But it's just a solid, straightforward side that's more than the sum of its parts. Won't be the most exciting title challenge, but they ought to be in and around it regardless.

2. Leichhardt
Home Colours: Yellow / blue / yellow
Away Colours: All navy, yellow trim
Stadium: Capricorn Plaza (23,500)
Nickname: the Canaries
Manager: Andrea Vardalos (44)
(4-1-4-1) 20 - Shukhrat Kozak (29, ISK); 17 - Dante Carvalho (21, USI), 22 - Michael Koller (22, SCT), 6 - Chiron Amarantidis (30, c), 3 - Malachi Hawkshaw (32); 4 - Alyssa Cardluck (29); 15 - Annegret Bellinghausen (22), 14 - Olivia Sigournay (22), 8 - Miralem Fowler (28), 13 - Felix Reiter (26); 9 - Luna Nsereko (24)

Background: A small city and the largest settlement in the Northern Vale, Leichhardt has traditionally flitted between Premiership relegation battles and the top half of the First Division, usually playing defensive football in the process. Its primary rivals are Corvette, the second-largest Vale settlement, but they've both been overshadowed by nearby Starling of late.

Summary: 6th last season, but ambitious young manager Andrea Vardalos has her heart set on the top flight. They really could do it, too - they've got a strong side that's set to battle their way to the business end of the league. Amarantidis, Leichhardt-developed and recently returned from a variety of stints, has a season of Premiership experience with Bishop to his name and leads a similarly tough defence, while Cardluck, backup goalkeeper Elaine Koeller and the seasoned Hawkshaw also have strong experience at the top level. Up front, things are more raw, but thrilling - Bellinghausen and Reiter are exceptional young wingers with Nsereko a breathless, hard-running forward. Yeah, they don't play the most scintillating football - but the First Division's been stronger in the past, and right now, Leichhardt can do the job.

3. Chatswood
Home Colours: Cyan / navy / cyan
Away Colours: White / cyan / white
Stadium: Westcroft (28,000)
Nickname: the Woodsmen
Manager: Bruno Hawke (48)
(4-3-1-2) 1 - Helena Middlesbrough (30); 2 - Julian Ilsander (21), 5 - Darius Rashkin (24), 13 - Marisa Strauss (27), 3 - Catheline Chaplain (30); 14 - Kenneth Thorn (30), 4 - Claire Beresford (28, c), 21 - Robyn Sabitzer (22); 7 - Daniel Archer (32); 10 - Tzipporah Cohen (24), 16 - Joan Vickers (23)

Background: Originally fairly obscure, Chatswood have asserted themselves as Treason's second team of late after forcing their way into the Premiership and becoming a fixture of it for many years. They've made physicality and grit hallmarks of their play, but despite their grizzled image they pride themselves on their academy output. Their biggest rivals are AFC Treason but after a number of fiery last games of the season have also picked up a rivalry with Brinemouth.

Summary: Chatswood departed somewhat from its roots, and suffered for it - to the tune of almost a hundred goals at the wrong end. In comes the decidedly old-school Bruno Hawke to re-teach them how to fight and scrap. They've sold a lot in the offseason, but not spent particularly much - after all, this is still in large part a Premiership team and the aim for now is to consolidate. Hawke will aim to bring discipline back to a solid-on-paper defensive unit and has a number of redoubtable club servants to call upon, the ferocious midfield terrier Claire Beresford given the armband. Two quick strikers in Tzipporah Cohen - still only 24, somehow - and new signing Joan Vickers, who found her feet in the Islands, should give them their attacking bite. Despite an offer from Treftadaeth in the offseason, the mercurial midfielder Gary Corsie refused to leave, and it's rumoured that Hawke is decidedly unimpressed by him. But from a technical perspective, Corsie is one of the most proficient players at this level, and if he can be made to perform would surely be key to any Chatswood revival.

4. Extreme Hills
Home Colours: Orange / black / orange
Away Colours: White / orange / white
Stadium: Harkerscourt (20,000)
Nickname: the Hounds
Manager: Jessica Loque (47)
(4-4-2) 20 - Gerry Hewett (32); 17 - Niko Rudan (25), 5 - Valeria (22, USI), 13 - Bryony Johansen (34), 3 - Diana Thrush (32); 7 - Max Asprey (24), 6 - Asa Ketelsen (23, AUD), 23 - Tasha Somerstreet (25), 11 - Sigrun Barota (21); 17 - Makhone Djite (27), 15 - Dexter Vorbeck (24, ETN)

Background: As power gradually shifts towards the big cities, Hills have managed to buck that trend with a dynamic rise of their own. They're representative of a number of settlements across the titular Extreme Hills in the western Laith, one of the most isolated chunks of the entire country. Its people are fiercely parochial, and unsurprisingly their fans hate pretty much everyone. Fortunately for the sturdy Laithlander hillfolk, they tend to be disproportionately good at football, so Hills have traditionally done well elevating them to play key roles and be sold on. Generally they play fast, physical football.

Summary: Despite the crippling disadvantage of having signed Gerry Hewett for ... some reason, Hills are still in with a more than decent shout of a return to the top-flight. They've done what they always do and built up a side over time before steadying it with a few proven faces - okay, Hewett's a punchline, but Bryony Johansen and Diana Thrush have been around the block a few times and should shore up the back line. A young midfield is spiced up by new signing Asa Ketelsen but all eyes are on one of the most promising young wingers in the country, Sigrun Barota, a dynamic, fast-paced trailblazer. She'll be in the top flight next season, with or without the rest of the Hounds. Up front, they benefit from a lot of firepower in Vorbeck, who will be aided and abetted by the hulking Makhone Djite. The Hounds can do the job, without a doubt. Will they? That remains to be seen.

5. Diamondqueen
Home Colours: White / blue / white
Away Colours: Green / white / green
Stadium: The New Overlook (17,500)
Nickname: the Diamonds
Manager: Hydrangea Dimitriades (52)
(4-3-1-2) 1 - Corren Dankworth (27); 2 - Priscilla Boyden (28), 5 - Damian Barrett (24), 22 - McKinley Sanabria (21, AUD), 38 - Nomanswoman Sutton (18); 7 - Catherine Thackeray (23), 21 - Samael Lawrence (28), 39 - Franz Kesteren (19); 8 - Denisa Thirlwell (29); 17 - Marko Fortounis (23), 11 - Danil Kowalczyk (23, CSN)

Background: Diamondqueen's main attraction is being the suburb in which the Nepharim National University is, just north of the centre of the city. As a result, most of its supporters come from the student base. It's had a very strong relationship with the nearby Raven River for many years, acting as something of a feeder club for them for a few years until their meteoric rise to the same division, and they continue to have a close relationship - Diamondqueen don't really have any rivals at all.

Summary: Diamondqueen are the latest of many small clubs to be launching a genuine Premiership bid with limited resources - if Belgrave stay up and both Diamonds and Bohemians go up the top flight will be swamped in Sabrefell sides. Marshalled by Hydrangea Dimitriades, they'll be continuing to aim to play high-intensity, attacking football with a focus on local youth. They're not the most technical side by any means, but the pace of Fortounis and new signing Kowalczyk up front will cause any team problems and in Denisa Thirlwell, one of the premier journeywoman playmakers of the second tier, the right person to find them. There's real meat in midfield in the likes of Samael 'Chopper' Lawrence, Corren Dankworth's arrived after the Sunset and the only real question mark is at leftback, where it looks like 18-year old Nomanswoman Sutton will be given the nod. It's all coming together for the Diamonds - but is it coming together enough?

6. Goodfeather FC
Home Colours: Green / white / green
Away Colours: White / green / white
Stadium: Steelchurch (32,500)
Nickname: the Quakers
Manager: Sebastian Seward (38)
(4-3-1-2) 1 - Raven Forster (25); 2 - Adrian Crowe (33), 18 - Artur Bierofka (22), 6 - Adrian Carradine (29), 3 - Heather Garrard (27); 4 - Marisa Leitner (23), 16 - Elsa Dietrich (30), 8 - Elaine Brighton (28); 7 - Elaine Coxswain (30); 9 - Lexi Farrakhan (22), 10 - Amelia Rusmond (26)

Background: The Quakers, so named for representing the relative Protestant hotbed of Nephara, are noted for a gorgeous kit and a traditional emphasis on technical play. Comfortably situated in eastern Crisisbless, they've traditionally floated freely between the top two tiers, enjoying high highs and suffering some low lows along the way. They're well-renowned for a faith in youth, especially from their own academy.

Summary: Sebastian Seward is, surprisingly, still in the hot seat despite rumours of his departure late last season. And last season, it has to be admitted, was an abject disaster. They couldn't really get it right at either end of the pitch and contrived to concede close to a hundred goals while scoring less than one a game, actually managing to set a record for the worst goal difference (-52) in modern Premiership history. Still, they have retained the players to at least be dark horses for promotion. Raven Forster's a strong goalkeeper by division standards while the injection of Adrian Crowe should tighten up the defence. Their strong suit is still midfield, with the likes of Leitner, Dietrich and Coxswain all technically very adept by second-tier standards, while hopes are high that Lexi Farrakhan can shred the league up front. But, Farrakhan aside, they don't have a lot of pace - and certainly not a lot of physicality. Can this side and its inexperienced manager really just hope to pass their way out of the division?

7. North Sabrefell
Home Colours: White / black / white
Away Colours: Blue / white / blue
Stadium: Frangipani Court (16,000)
Nickname: the Bohemians
Manager: Mark Grayson (43)
(4-4-2) 20 - Simon Ardley (27); 2 - Meg Owley (23), 5 - Marko Gillard (34), 6 - Garnet Tamerlane (23), 31 - Diane Hateley (19); 32 - Minka Kranevitter (19), 21 - Josie Webster (20), 4 - Gareth Anwhistle (26), 13 - Cathy Alweather (23); 9 - Milan Aubeck (28), 11 - Alexander Roche (23, MRT)

Background: North Sabrefell haven't really made an impact on Nephara, traditionally speaking, but they've risen respectably of late. It's regarded, sometimes derided, as something of a bohemian wasteland full of drug-addled students, and they've embraced the nickname accordingly. They've recently had a cash injection from Brenecian mining tycoon Bruce Harker, but strict Nepharim ownership rules prevent him from taking a majority share - even so, expect him to influence the side forwards. They're rivals with nearby, more affluent Belgrave.

Summary: Mark Grayson might have been an underwhelming striker in his career, but he's been an exceptional manager on the evidence of last term, keeping up the seemingly-hopeless case of East Laithland. He's with the Bohemians now, a side that crashed to a disappointing 18th-placed finish (one beneath the Harriers) last term and are hoping to bounce back with a vengeance. He has a side more solid than inspiring, but has cast out plenty of aging driftwood in favour of hungry youths such as Hateley and one of last season's shining lights, Minka Kranevitter. Marko Gillard, the sole core veteran of the expected starters, is a homicidal commander and the first signing Grayson made. Milan Aubeck, whose nineteen goals last season probably kept the Bohemians up, will also carry their hopes on his broad shoulders - between him and Roche, they have one of the biggest strike partnerships in the league, and in Kranevitter and Alweather clever young wingers to find them. This is a consolidating season, to try and make a platform for challenges to come.

8. South Laithland
Home Colours: All purple with white trim
Away Colours: White / purple / white
Stadium: Covenground (27,000)
Nickname: the Southrons
Manager: Lyn Hartmann (56)
(4-4-2) 1 - Bella Yossarian (32); 23 - Henrik Raubell (22), 2 - Sophia Milner (34), 6 - Darren Ferror (21), 3 - Johan Haukmann (32); 7 - Russ Cohurst (25), 4 - Gratia Barker (32), 24 - Andre Havranek (21, IRN), 11 - Sebastyen Barthez (29); 9 - Tarquin Ulster (24), 10 - Dietrich Sorrenson (27)

Background: Based, as the name suggests, in the southern Laith, South Laithland (based in the town of Dross, which is basically just the football stadium) have traditionally hovered between the bottom half of the Premiership and the top half of the First Division throughout the modern era, and really throughout their entire history. A reasonably successful and stable side, they've rarely scintillated but can be proud of a productive academy. They're friendly rivals with North Laithland, have a derby day against Cypher but expose their fiercest venom for Treason, who have a way of poaching their best players (Allbeck, Flaccus, Connacht, Morgan Ashdown...)

Summary: Solid - that's the word for the Southrons, and as usual they're in with an outside chance of returning to the top flight. Oddly enough, their side doesn't really have a lot of players in their prime - a lot of Premiership-experienced veterans (Yossarian, Milner, Haukmann, Barker) and local young guns (Ferror, Raubell, much of the depth) but few people in their mid-late twenties. One such, the new signing Dietrich Sorrenson, has never really been tested in the top flight but the lanky Parrhesian forward will be expected to provide a cutting edge for a side that struggled somewhat in front of goal last term. Cohurst and Barthez on the wings are likely their best players. They don't play exciting football, but Lyn Hartmann knows the division well, and her players trust her.

9. Cypher Town
Home Colours: All blue, red trim
Away Colours: All red, white trim
Stadium: Velvet Meadow (28,000)
Nickname: the Eagles
Manager: Miriam Aragon (58)
(3-5-2) 1 - Havard Morgan (35); 19 - Ashton Dalmshelf (32, COS), 6 - Barry Farrell (33), 33 - Katerina Tarrasch (19); 2 - Sander Mears (24, SEM), 8 - Lucia Vaughan (35), 4 - Portia Neilson (33, BRE), 11 - Vuesala Frey (23, ISK), 18 - Angela Koufos (28); 15 - Chufti Waters (25), 9 - Borbas Tihamer (24, PAS)

Background: A large town situated on the Western Marches - the traditional border between Laithland and civilisation - Cypher hosts a fairly prominent side that has traditionally flitted between the top two tiers. Cypher is mostly noted for having attracted the unrequited rivalry of a staggering number of clubs - fellow Marcher side Serpentine has the geography to think about, its fairly extravagant livery has earned it the hilarious ire of pretty much all the true Laith clubs, while Parrhesia United (northern Vermillion and much of the northern region in general) also clashes shoulders with it.

Summary: They are all so old. But Miriam Aragon, a former title winner with Sabrefell Athletic, knows what she's doing, and trusts this slightly creaky core to do the trick. She's opted for a controversial three-man midfield in which youth international Tarrasch will need to provide the legs, while the midfield lynchpins include plenty of top-flight experience in Vaughan and former Rozelle United midfielder Neilson. Aragon's bought shrewdly, too, and has managed to freshen the side up somewhat. Sander Mears will hopefully be a canny signing - the wingbacks are key to a formation like this - while Tihamer will clearly strengthen a somewhat staid attack. In any case, despite optimistic notes from Aragon and the dressing room, promotion is a very outside shot for the Eagles, and they'll be happy just to be in and around the top ten. Still, with this many grey hairs? It can't be too long before a full restructuring has to take place.

10. Crisisbless United
Home Colours: Black-chequered red / black / red
Away Colours: Red-chequered white / red / white
Stadium: The Chessboard (38,000)
Nickname: the Chequers, the Chessmen
Manager: Maria Kartakoullis (51)
(4-3-3) 1 - Andreas Sparwasser (25, BRE); 19 - Adelaide Southers (23), 21 - Cassidy Hasek (23), 5 - Astrid Curran (32), 3 - Keziah Warwick (25); 8 - Nikolas Cadogan (30), 6 - Uther Neubaum (31), 15 - Sheila Maher (26); 22 - Fabula Plath (24), 13 - Trinity Plantagenet (23), 10 - Markos Schoenauer (22)

Background: One of Crisisbless' secondary sides, United's deliberate study of contrasts of kit compared to the Heelers' has lead to plenty of jibes. But few people were laughing at United at their most recent return to the top flight, in which they won a lot of friends with forthright attacking football and survived for many years against the odds. Still, recent results seem to suggest that they've slipped to midtable in the First Division for the forseeable future, but fans are optimistic of a glorious, cantering return sooner rather than later.

Summary: Destiny Merlot sustaining an ACL injury in pre-season was not the kind of news Crisisbless United fans wanted to hear. Without the versatile veteran defender, they've needed to panic-buy Uther Naubaum on a free to cover the gap she'll leave in holding midfield. Still, they have a decent squad around them, and they're continuing to look... well, not brilliant, but at least exciting for the new season, with buckets of pace and a lightning-quick front three in Plath, Plantagenet and Schoenauer (all products of the local academy, no less!) with seasoned campaigner Paula Morgan waiting in the wings for an impact. Even at the back, Southers, Hasek and Warwick (who are locals themselves) are hoping to shine enough to attract bigger contracts, though admittedly conceding over eighty goals last season wasn't their finest audition. Maybe the fastest team in the second tier... but do they actually have anything else? And will the black hole that is their midfield be their downfall?

11. Maximum City
Home Colours: White / black / red
Away Colours: Red / black / white
Stadium: Ludd's Hammer (59,000)
Nickname: the Smiths
Manager: Almuth Coppell (56)
(4-4-2) 1 - Grubiša Jelić (36, PAS, c); 2 - Harald Sable (31), 4 - Abram Axelsson (34), 19 - Meredith Napthine (24), 6 - Kostas Demetriou (30); 7 - Artemis Katsamatis (27), 35 - Rusalka Klein (19), 15 - Kate Shaw (34), 20 - Odette Longstocking (23); 9 - Solomon Devante (29), 22 - Dejan Corvell (24)

Background: Once considered a keystone member of the Premiership, Maximum City once lead the league on the 45th matchday. But, at the last minute, they collapsed, and their fierce rivals Treason overtook them. They've arguably never recovered, with relegation coming at the end of a long, drawn-out malaise. Maximum is a polluted, hyperindustrial clump, and City claims rather grandly to represent it all - this has been less true of late with the success of their local rivals, the Rovers. Traditionally they have played an unexciting, direct and physical brand of football, and its supporters value powerful, committed veterans and winning at any cost. Without Rovers or Stags to fight, a first league clash against Greygate to their north awaits, and it is set to be a fierce one given that many of Greygate's support defected from the Smiths.

Summary: That was an ordeal. Six wins all season, misfiring strikers and a whole lot of mediocre dross no longer enough for the ordeals of the top flight, it seems. They've brought in Almuth Coppell, who took West Brinemouth to the top flight and kept them there for a season, before being sacked during their freefall. Not the most inspiring appointment, but a solid one on paper. The Smiths aren't angling for an immediate return to the top flight, and that's a good thing, since they're unlikely to get it. The good news is that their more rough but dynamic players like Katsamatis, young Rusalka Klein and the powerful but wayward Dejan Corvell might thrive given a bit more space, and Napthine, poor last season, is a proven operator at the second tier level. Kate Shaw is their one major signing, and should help to calm things down in the middle of the park, while Jelic is arguably the best goalkeeper in the division. But they've lost Rosmalen and Kisel, their best players last season, so don't expect the Smiths to be back at the first attempt, or even really to come close. Their fans, it seems, are yet to get that memo, so Coppell isn't even a favourite to see out her two-year deal.

12. Vermillion Wanderers
Home Colours: Green / green / yellow
Away Colours: Yellow / green / green
Stadium: the Falstaff Ground (23,500)
Nickname: the Wanderers
Manager: Catheline Allister (51)
(4-4-2) 1 - Iona Britton (24); 2 - Kelly Reisinger (33), 5 - Bella Keegan (30, c), 22 - Sandra West (32), 29 - Florian Kuefer (19, PAS); 7 - Ambrose Sonnett (27), 21 - Gareth Ramsay (30), 4 - Stelios Eleftheriou (27), 13 - Renat Janssen (23, SEM); 13 - Per Martinsson (22, SEM), 10 - Masquerade Bryson (23)

Background: The Wanderers had a dramatic rise from the semi-professional levels that saw them in the Premiership for three seasons. The rise was mirrored off the pitch as well as on, and they carved out a niche for themselves as Vermillion's reasonably-respected third side, and they've had to expand their stadium capacity to match the demand. Unlike Parrhesia and the Rage, they've found something of a reputation for very route-one football. They've about found their level in the First Division.

Summary: Vermillion haemorrhaged goals last season en route to a lower midtable finish, but the strong form of their young strikers will be an encouragement to them. Unsurprisingly, they've acted firmly - hiring a more seasoned manager in Catheline Allister used to marshalling top defences, bringing in veterans like Reisinger and West as well as the steady hands of Iona Britton between the posts to take over from the shaky Halsall. Reisinger in particular is an intriguing option - once touted as Nephara's solution to the always-troublesome rightback slot, it never really worked out like that for her, and now she's 33. Young Pasargan Kuefer rounds out the defence... he's 19. So don't call that solved just yet. On the bright side, they have two young strikers who are on fire. In particular the poacher Masquerade Bryson, a cousin of the Pro Patria striker John Bryson, who notched up 29 for herself, often off Martinsson's knockdowns, while in Sonnett and Janssen there are two excellent wingers whose sole purpose is to get in those crosses. The Wanderers won't be exciting, but at the end of the day, they'll be just fine.

13. Iron City
Home Colours: Red / red / white
Away Colours: Black / black / red
Stadium: Swordgarden (35,000)
Nickname: the Knights, the Iron
Manager: Lara Winter (37)
(4-1-4-1) 1 - Jove de Lisle (25); 2 - Jasmine Mills (32), 5 - Corren Delaney (28), 17 - Francesca Scougall (26, c), 19 - Christian Ledger (22); 6 - Kiko Santiago (25); 7 - Claribel Overfelt (26, USI), 8 - Prudence Bourne (25), 22 - Antony Stamp (22), 11 - Refik Penterzen (30, DSM); 9 - Laura Wilhelm (29)

Background: The original Premiership yo-yo club, Iron City have the dubious record of having suffered five relegations from the top flight in the modern era (tied with Newrook). They've been in the second tier for the last five seasons, though, and have seemed to reach stability for once. Iron itself is a small, bleak, industrial city in northern Barossia, and the club traditionally plays bleak, industrial football - but on the other hand, Elaine Ashdown came from here, and has stated her intentions to finish her career here.

Summary: Currently managed by Lara Winter, elevated from successful work with the youth team, the Reds may not have been in promotion contention for some time but they're determined not to follow the example of other recent bright lights to drop to the third tier. They have an experienced, gritty side that will easily keep them up without managing anything spectacular, and it's hard to even really point out any of them in particular as anything exceptional. In an increasingly intense and competitive atmosphere of the First Division, stability will serve for now - but they've definitely got the ambition to get their hooks in the top flight again, ideally within the decade. The signs from the academy are good, but it's time for consolidation right now.

14. Sheridan
Home Colours: All dark green, orange/white trim
Away Colours: All white, dark green/orange trim
Stadium: The Peoples' Ground (30,000)
Nickname: Sherries
Manager: Asger Stubbs (59)
(4-1-4-1) 1 - Gared Aldridge (33); 2 - Dorian Kendrick (21); 19 - Jane Watson (31), 6 - Jasper Sorrenson (30), 24 - Blossom Garry (26); 4 - Galen Wickham (29); 13 - Madeleine Leighton (29), 10 - Kate Mullen (29), 8 - Chris Britton (28), 11 - Sharon Kitteman (23); 9 - Stacey Potenza (23, AUD)

Background: Sheridan has the poorest catchment of Sabrefell, and has a devoted, occasionally violent fanbase. Despite being broke and unfashionable, they've managed to do a job - particularly recently, managing a couple of stints in the Premiership. Sherries pride themselves on having a largely homegrown squad, all buying into an intensely physical, gruelling style - only people willing to run through walls for the club are accepted, and then loved, by the fans - and there's an uncommon number of one-club men who can't see themselves playing for any other club.

Summary: Sheridan have it sorted out. Same sort of style as always - tough in the tackle, strong in the arm, painful for neutrals to watch. They overachieved last season, but an old side's gotten older and reinforced questionably. Jasper Sorrenson's a mildly controversial signing, but they all are if they come from one of the other Sabrefell clubs. It'll pass, and he's a rock-solid defender in any case with experience at the highest level. Up front, they're relying on a lower-league guy from Audioslavia for their goals in Potenza. They could probably have splashed out a bit more, but, well... they're skint, as ever. It's more likely that Sharon Kitteman, marauding in from the left, will be their main source of goals, while hard-nosed local Dorian Kendrick's already caught the eye of a good few Premiership clubs. Asger Stubbs has announced his retirement after this season - he'll go down as a club and country legend, especially of the pre-WCC era, and his side will be aiming not to let him down. Sherries'll be alright, but don't count on another promotion charge.

15. Cranequin City
Home Colours: All terracotta, gold trim
Away Colours: All sky blue, black trim
Stadium: Claringstone (18,000)
Nickname: the Terracotta Army
Manager: Misha Nechemevic (43, AUD)
1 - Lucian Corvin (33); 2 - Rachael Flitcroft (27), 17 - Jess Glaive (34), 5 - Brendan Blake (34), 3 - Rook Keenan (31); 12 - Bruce Scaleton (31), 18 - Ninian Lechleiter (20), 8 - Rebecca Kelsey (34); 11 - Lana Stubbs (30); 16 - Leofric Woadswell (26), 23 - Laura Annesley (20, SCT)

Background: Cranequin is the smallest of the state capitals, and City is dwarfed by the Wanderers. Still, they've managed to compete with their rivals over the past few years, and a remarkable string of seasons under Edmund Agincourt saw an unlikely series of survivals with a side that just seemed to get worse and worse on paper but always found a way to cling to survival. Still, since their relegation, they haven't really troubled the promotion picture - but the board is ambitious, and will be expecting something to change.

Summary: Cranequin City have given young Misha Nechemevic his second chance in the managerial arena, but he's presiding over an old, essentially mediocre team. The retirement of Christian Laxenburg will dent their defence a bit, and the departure of top scorer Sinan Uzunlar to Parrhesia is bruising, but Nechemevic has done what he can to freshen the side up - bringing in Woadswell and Annesley up front, and the promising Ninian Lechleiter in the centre of the park. On the whole though, City are just... unexciting. They scored less than a goal a game last season (the aforementioned strikers really need to help cover for the loss of Uzunlar's 18 goals) and conceded barely over that (Laxenburg should, well, affect that). Nechemevic has pledged a rebuilding effort, but it seems like the creaking limbs of Glaive, Blake and Kelsey will need to bail them out of at least one final season hovering above danger.

16. Ritter Town
Home Colours: All white, orange trim
Away Colours: All blue, orange trim
Stadium: Stableground (22,000)
Nickname: the Stallions
Manager: Paige Hildebrand (51)
(4-4-2) 25 - Anthoulis Matraxis (19); 19 - Sigrun Tarragon (24, ISK), 5 - Jayce Harridan (36), 4 - Rudi Fallon (26), 3 - Ferne (27, USI); 7 - Serval Harfouch (25), 14 - Cyrus Saebener (23), 8 - Brendan Sotiropolous (25), 13 - Boney Connell (21, BSE); 9 - Cath Storrin (29), 21 - Discovery Carrera (20, AUD)

Background: Ritter is a large town on the border of Barossia and Chardonnay, and its side has traditionally punched above its weight. It recently enjoyed a few seasons in the Premiership, but lower midtable First Division is roughly its Level, as it were. Now that they've fallen from the top flight, the management is trying to cultivate a focus on embracing youth and then selling them on at a significant profit to keep treading fiscal water.

Summary: Ritter did fairly well for themselves last term, ensconced safely in midtable. On the way, they managed to continue blooding U21 international Anthoulis Matraxis between the sticks, for which no doubt the nation will be grateful in the long run. Ritter have reinforced cheaply, which is just how they roll; hell, they've hired Evan Katsouranis as a backup goalkeeper and also goalkeeping coach. That's the small-market life in play. They're decent in the defence and midfield, with Premiership experience in Harridan, Ferne and Sotiropolous and some dangerous wingers in Harfouch and Connell. The Stallions' main problem is a bluntness up front; former Harrier Daniel Payne's a far better finisher and a far slower player than his youth, and poorer for it, while homegrown Cath Storrin's mediocre in every sense. They've plucked obscure Audioslavian Carrera from lower-league football in the hopes he'll spice things up, but it's a gamble.

17. West Brinemouth
Home Colours: Orange / black / orange
Away Colours: Pink / black / pink
Stadium: Volkstadion (31,000)
Nickname: the Gulls
Manager: Augustine Houghton (56)
(4-3-1-2) 1 - Henna Morgan (30); 2 - Sarah Carmady (31), 19 - Alice Woodman (28), 6 - Pearce Courtenay (31), 23 - April Forshawe (24); 14 - Logan Taylor (29), 3 - Maximillian Pembroke (32, c), 8 - Miriam Capulet (29); 15 - Sami Makela (24); 10 - Connor Hurriston (30), 16 - Kunigunde Almerich (23)

Background: Brinemouth's west is the relatively poor, working-class part of the city, away from the affluent, arguably gentrified Brineside. Unlike most such sides, it remains in the shadow of neighbours and fierce rivals Brinemouth, but it has achieved some fair successes of its own in the modern era, occasionally reaching the Premiership and once winning the NFA Cup. The fanbase traditionally values workmanlike, muscular players, but the academy has not been the most successful, and many of the best youth prospects in the city are poached by their bigger, richer neighbours.

Summary: Well, last season was fucking awful. The Gulls were garbage, and they aren't expected to make any waves in the second tier, either. Compounding matters, they've lost a wide variety of their best players - Lockwood, Cattalock and the misfiring Weiler, just for three names. Some more adventurous pundits are trying to highlight the spicy consecutive relegation possibility. But Augustine Houghton is a veteran of this division, and he was briefly able to get results from this sorry lot in the top flight. Focus on the positives. Henna Morgan is a capable goalkeeper and they have a strong defence, especially if Carmady (reportedly seriously considering early retirement) can keep fit. Forshawe was a decent signing to offer width down the left. The muscular, ambitious Makela has been brought in to link up a pretty strong attack, with Hurriston's muscle complementing former Vermillion striker Kunigunde Almerich, last season's top scorer with a mighty 8. Houghton's side will likely be content to sit back and smash people on the counterattack. They should, at the very least, be safe.

18. Greygate
Home Colours: All grey with red sash
Away Colours: All white with blue trim
Stadium: Dourhead (23,000)
Nickname: the Wardens
Manager: Stefan Wright (55)
(4-4-2) 1 - Duncan Simonsen (31); 2 - Marko Bozanic (24), 5 - Daniel Muscat (26) 19 - Rostyn Malick (21), 18 - Rodolf Berisha (24); 7 - Scott Penclare (30), 8 - Richard Harrison (28), 22 - Solipsis Coleman (26), 11 - Corso Poulsen (23); 9 - Hyacinth Metaxas (26, PRV), 15 - Kotaro Westfield (22, USI)

Background: Greygate hope to entrench themselves as Maximum's third club. They're based in the city's north, and the titular 'Grey Gate' was the site of a few great battles in Nephara's turbulent history of civil war. In calmer times, it now represents a small but rising club, ranks swelled in recent years with dissenters from the increasingly wayward way that Maximum City's been run, to the point where they've been able to build a new stadium (completed in time for the start of this season). As a result, they're looking forward to the chance to stick the boot into the Smiths for the first time, and the feeling is very much reciprocated.

Summary: Greygate absolutely thumped everyone else in the third tier last time around, winning the title by 25 points and a hilarious 42 clear of 5th-place Stonegrave. It's fair to say Stefan Wright's stock is high at the moment. He's kept around the bulk of that successful side, recruiting sparingly on top of that - he's only made significant moves for journeyman midfielder Richard Harrison, fresh off a stint in the Sunrise Islands, and the redoubtable winger Penclare. The defence is young and notoriously hard to breach, and should hold up to First Division scrutiny, while Metaxas is an international forward with Pravenna. Okay, so it's Pravenna, but still, she's played and scored in Cope Rushmori. Kotaro Westfield proved a shrewd replacement for Niko Boldman, as well. Greygate are a big, tough and ugly unit, and they should assert themselves nicely on an unsuspecting second tier... with an eye to one further promotion ahead, perhaps.

19. Mantlegrove
Home Colours: Green / white / green
Away Colours: White / black / white
Stadium: Cygnet Street (12,000)
Nickname: the Dryads
Manager: Alyce Goodgarden (54)
(4-3-1-2) 1 - Naomi Williams (31); 2 - Sharon Bradshaw (28), 5 - Tara Horvath (31), 6 - Jessa Nestor (30, c), 3 - Oskar Lainford (26); 7 - Connor Soloway (29), 8 - Lana Harringstead (26), 13 - Caspar Radston (23); 22 - Sepp Hobson (28); 24 - Bruin Goodyouth (19), 11 - Brutus Kochansky (32)

Background: Twelve years ago, Mantlegrove had just been elevated to the newly-formed Conference East. Now, they're preparing for the fight of their lives in the second tier. They're comfortably tucked into eastern Treason and are expected, somewhat surprisingly, to tap into the small hipster fanbase left abandoned by the collapse of Project +90. Propped up in their early years by a local family who won the lottery, they've since been taken over by a more conventional consortium.

Summary: Mantlegrove have opted for a fairly conservative approach to promotion. After all, this side got them promoted to the top flight, it can damn well keep them there. Their one major acquisition was Sepp 'Iron Head' Hobson on a a free, a journeyman midfielder who specialises in late runs and crushing headers, but the aptly-named Bruin Goodyouth will be expected to chip in a fair few goals as well. Mostly, though, Mantlegrove are balanced from tip to tail, and finely-poised to stay up this season with a surprisingly deep squad. Admittedly, the depth largely consists of aging journeymen, but they're expected to tap into much of the Project +90 infrastructure to galvanise their own attempts at a proper academy.

20. Coret Rovers
Home Colours: Blue / white / blue
Away Colours: Yellow / blue / yellow
Stadium: The Ultramarine (16,000)
Nickname: the Rovers
Manager: Dorian Brindle (47)
(4-2-3-1) 1 - Dan Keel (37); 19 - Parvana Evans (24, ISK), 5 - Alexander Smough (33), 16 - Barth Hollister (34), 3 - Karlo Jozic (24, PAS); 14 - Bosko Roman (21, IRN), 4 - Kurtis Muscat (32); 7 - Caitlin Cruickshank (33), 8 - Jozan Moreland (28), 10 - Guillermo Cecchini (22, AUD); 9 - Liberty Hammond (31)

Background: Regarded by most as the second Coret side, the Rovers will claim to all and sundry that they were there first. Which is true. They're still mad about the Hawks for relocating to Coret, still regard them as plastics and resent their history of success. The Rovers themselves have usually been relatively small-time, bouncing through the lower-professional tiers of the league. Their rivals like to smugly inform them that the Hawks' existence defines the Rovers. This is probably true.

Summary: Coret Rovers have another relegation slog ahead. The good news is, while recruitment has largely been quiet and lowkey, Liberty Hammond from Ayeville is a proven (if unprolific) marksman at the top level and should prove a canny purchase. At the back, they're safeguarded by the redoubtable veteran Dan Keel. The issue is all that stuff in the middle - can Cruickshank still cut it at this level? Will young, unproven Cecchini and Roman be able to make the step up? Are the glacial Smough and Hollister going to fall to pieces as soon as a fast lad runs at them? The Rovers have played their way into respectability and the days when people would joke about Coret being a one-club city are over, but there's a lot of work to be done just to stay at this level. They should have enough.

21. Hackett
Home Colours: Red / white / red
Away Colours: White / black / white
Stadium: Bradach Avenue (18,000)
Nickname: the Merry Boys
Manager: Anders Clarke (60)
(4-3-3) 1 - Chris Crowder (32); 13 - Theodora Bueskens (33), 18 - Gareth Kearney (35), 6 - Augustine Rouphos (34, PRV, c), 3 - Iliad Tsipras (27, PRV); 13 - Alexis Hearseman (27), 5 - Chris Margate (25), 11 - Yelizaveta Isayeva (33, PDN); 7 - Rhianna Forrest (30), 10 - Yehochanan Maas (30), 16 - Espen Havenaar (32)

Background: Based in the western outskirts of the city of Maximum, Hackett are a sporadically notable side, but they tend to bleed into the general lower-league landscape. They are associated with a somewhat more suburban, culturally diverse landscape than the hyperindustrial, extremely Anglo-Teutonic core of the city, and the club has benefited from the recent expansion west of the city's development (though some have criticised it as 'sprawl').

Summary: Hackett poured everything into a promotion tilt, and it paid off. Now they just have to stay in the second tier, and that might be difficult given how fucking old everyone is. Forrest, Maas and Havenaar all technically have Premiership experience, but who can seriously be intimidated as they clunk into position? Forrest is the best of them, and offers genuine bite down the right flank, while at the back? Bueskens carved out a good A-League career for herself (but is old), Gareth Kearney is a proven Premiership operator (but is old) while captain Rouphos (who is old) and Tsipras have both played at international level. Even Anders Clarke, at 60 years old, is the oldest in the second tier. The Boys might well struggle at this level, and while it's possible to see them dragging themselves to safety, it's also easy to see them crashing and burning as the high intensity crushes them.

22. Sutcroft
Home Colours: White / dark red / dark red
Away Colours: Green / green / white
Stadium: Fletchfields (8,750)
Nickname: the Shepherds
Manager: Brandon Laithstrider (38)
(4-3-3) 1 - Elsa Farian (26); 2 - Ivan Marder (28), 5 - Niko Bouzanis (33), 27 - Chadwick Beath (19), 18 - Lithe Bronwyne (21); 7 - Connor Harriston (26), 6 - Cheney Marsden (25), 11 - Nicki Diagon (31); 10 - Luther Garrard (25), 9 - Bronwyn Calditch (26), 16 - Jakob Prutton (22)

Background: A small club from the southern Laith Marches, Sutcroft have floated around the lower echelons their whole existence, but have gained plaudits for financial stability and an emphasis on youth (a traditional strength of Laithland sides). It prides itself as a community club helping locals to their feet in what is a fairly rough area of the nation, and it has the lowest ticket prices in the top three tiers.

Summary: Young manager Brandon Laithstrider comes highly-regarded in his field, but does he have enough to keep the decidedly skint marcher side Sutcroft up? The squad's got some strong young talents (Chadwick Beath's of Brenecian extraction, and has been looked at by the BFA) but insufficient bite up front will undercut their attacking intent. There are too many key players who simply haven't cut their teeth at this level, and their desperation for punch up front has crystallised in the form of bringing in 35-year old Alisander Bailey, whose years at Kingsgrove seem a long time ago, on a free to add depth. They're likely to go down, but Bronwyne and Beath are two to watch.

23. Martella Jazz
Home Colours: All white with green trim and chevron
Away Colours: Green / green / white
Stadium: Dramastadion (23,000)
Nickname: the Jazz
Manager: Mixu Durran (41)
(3-5-2) 12 - Ulf Foxhole (23, BSE); 2 - Michael Arrowsmith (32), 6 - Claire Demetrios (31, PRV), 5 - Gunther Shawcroft (29); 20 - Melissa Colfenton (31), 19 - Ivan Halster (31), 4 - Michelle Trelawney (32), 28 - Franziska Bittencourt (18), 3 - Claude Strident (29); 16 - Diomedes (33, DAI), 10 - Eleazar Harnwell (29)

Background: A large town just north of Cranequin, Martella considers itself a nice, laid-back and bohemian town, rather in Cranequin's image. It's fallen victim somewhat to gentrification of late and has recently acquired something of an unwanted reputation as a retirement village. Martella University is the nation's most highly-regarded fine arts university, and the club works in tandem with it to try and make lifelong fans out of migrating students. As a result, you have a rather staid town with a vibrant fanbase for their side.

Summary: Bryan Lochhead dragged Martella to safety last season... and then retired, job well done. Now they're without their veteran captain (or, for that matter, star defender Tash Arrowsmith, Michael's brother), and have instead... what do they have? Not a lot. Surprisingly for a Nepharim side they employ a back three and have it well-staffed, with Gunther Shawcroft a very good defender by division standards. They have some veterans with Premiership experience and young Franziska Bittencourt, a promising attacking midfielder and the daughter of Cheney (who started his career here). Most of Martella's goal threat relies on Eleazar Harnwell, a brisk, muscular force, but the canny veteran Diomedes should bring something more to the table as well. But the simple fact is that a side once famed for their swashbuckling youth focus (and to their credit much of their depth is made up of academy products) is probably going to go down with a lot of aging journeymen.

24. East Laithland Harriers
Home Colours: Red / black / red
Away Colours: Green / green / white
Stadium: Clangor Row (13,000)
Nickname: the Harriers
Manager: Providence Mitford (57)
(4-2-3-1) 20 - Bruce Deiler (30); 2 - Amelia Canady (21), 22 - Amelia Breukelen (21, IRN), 18 - Kurtis Brace (37, c), 16 - Joan Casemere (21), 14 - Julian Pence (24), 6 - July Oshlack (29); 7 - Arin Clarke (31), 8 - Jacob Hull-Benson (32, SLL), 23 - Reinaldo Bosch (19, AUD); 9 - Pato Yamaguchi (32, COS)

Background: The Harriers by and large represent the broke, disparate parts of the Laith, various small towns migrating to the medium-sized town of Drift to watch their side. Unlike many other Laithlander teams, the Harriers have traditionally struggled fiscally and on the pitch, treading water at times. Harrier fans are known as being devoted, occasionally violent, and always impassioned. They also have a bone to pick with just about everyone; their official list of rivals counts North Laithland, South Laithland, Extreme Hills, Cypher Town, Serpentine, AFC Treason (who they've never played in the league), Sutcroft, Chatswood, West Hook, Maximum Rovers...

Summary: The Harriers have the look of a team that was hastily stapled together from spare parts, because it was. Their survival last season was miraculous, and the manager responsible - Mark Grayson - was poached by an aspirational North Sabrefell. So instead they've taken Providence Mitford, last seen relegated from the Premiership with Maximum City, who has recruited a wide variety of panic buys both old and new from across the globe. Arin Clarke returns form the Sunrise Islands and is well-proven at this level, while Jacob Hull-Benson was their best player last season. At the back, Breukelen is promising, if unproven, with the seasoned veteran Kurtis Brace (the only Not 21-year Old there) alongside. Joan Casemere, well... former Sabrefell Moths, that says everything, but considering a raw leftback as your marquee player, that says something less good. But there's too many question-marks, and too much mileage. The Harriers are probably going to crash and burn.


Lower Down the Pyramid

With the departure of the Sunrise Islanders from this world, Project +90 folded across the globe, and the branch in Treason was no exception. The majority of the squad has left for abroad, with leading light Tristan Lovelock, among the top scorers in the third tier, being snapped up by Cenial Liberty while promising goalkeeper Camilla Kasapilis joined the reinstated Centre for Excellence, the academy of fallen Apoxian giants FC Endeavour.

As a result of the Project folding, as well as former Premiership outfit Franchise FC's fiscal collapse, an unprecedented six clubs have had to be found from the state leagues. Alliance Barossia of the West and the Rochford Pilgrims of the East played off in pre-season for the virtue of reaching the fourth tier, and goals from Mati Volkhart and Andreas Thrush were enough to see Alliance take a 2-0 win on neutral ground, in Corvistone. They then beat Fully Sick XI, who had a chance to reprieve their relegation, 4-1 on the same ground. Given the short notice, however, Alliance have only had a squad equipped for an anticipated Conference season, and they may struggle to keep afloat in the fourth tier. Sleetwell Rangers take Alliance's place in the Conference West. The next day, Brookway Town (21st in 2Div last season) annihilated North Dubstep 3-0 (5th in 3Div) to surprisingly keep ahold of their third-tier status.

Speaking of Corvistone, splashing out big last season didn't work so well, so they've tried for a more holistic, homegrown approach this season. Under the management of Lukas Pallister, who ran Project +90 Treason for its duration, they are among the favourites for third-tier promotion. Chenoworth Rovers will also harbour high hopes of regaining a second-tier place that they feel is rightfully theirs, with 32-year old journeyman striker Darren Stamford rumoured to be the highest-paid player in the division.
WCC Grand Slam champion.
Accidental Gridiron Championship Silver Belt holders for six cycles??

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Nephara
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Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Nephara » Sat May 27, 2017 3:00 pm

Fortunately, Premiership sides don’t usually have to negotiate many treacherous UICA playoffs these days - unfortunately, the Chenoworth Harriers immediately blow their rare chance at Globe Cup football, stunned in defeats home and away by the valiant Prescott Wolves. Worryingly, Airik Ruhl is a non-factor in either match, with his substitute West scoring one of the consolation goals.

On the bright side, the Moths and Passerines both made it. Blue Coast didn’t make it easy for the Moths by any means, but a late strike from Federico Serra ensures the Moths’ progress on away goals. Starling smashed Lisda Lokado Goji Salamjĭ 3-0 at home in Lisa Amos’ first match, so a narrow loss in the second leg is enough to see them through.

In terms of actual preseasons, Coret Hawks’ long-awaited tour of Chromatika finally comes to fruition. In a good sign for their league aspirations, they manage three convincing wins and a sole draw. Arguably more important to the club long-term is the charm offensive they launch squarely at the country, with Montague, Antonio and their captain, Lethbridge, shunted around to every school, bar and billboard in sight.

And the Ramsay Shield is held again in Corvistone, this time to a slightly more uplifting attendance. Treason have already lost it once to a Cup champion from Sabrefell, can they do the business against Athletic? No. No, they cannot. They’re pumped 3-0 instead, Oscar Coltrane slotting seamlessly into the side and immediately running the show, a goal and two assists while Lind Pressinger keeps the peace at the other end with a couple of very impressive saves. “A trophy’s a trophy,” Daniel Brunet grunts to the press, but the Shield still has a ‘plastic’ feel to many avowed fans.

Crisisbless 1-0 Brinemouth
Maximum Rovers 2-0 Belgrave
North Laithland 3-2 Morningstar
Sabrefell Athletic 1-1 Armstrong
Sabrefell Moths 2-2 Raven River
AFC Treason 5-2 Cranequin Wanderers
Vermillion Rage 2-0 AFC Serpentine
Violence Chariots 5-1 Corvette Maulers
Coret Hawks 4-3 Chenoworth Harriers
Starling 4-0 Bishop
Brookford Otters 1-1 Parrhesia United
Creed United 2-0 Newrook City

First match of the season, and Athletic - favourite for the title, straight off thumping Treason 3-0 on neutral ground - can’t break down Armstrong at home. Perhaps that’s not entirely correct - they do pepper Mako Holstad’s goal, largely from the outside of the box, but eventually Coltrane finds the pass to thread the needle to Chloe Rudden, who slips everyone by and rifles it home. But in the 89th minute, the game seemingly home and hosed, the substitute Josie Woodard hoofs the ball long and diagonal. Campbell and Gerhardt… let the ball bounce, between them, seemingly both thinking the other had it, and Damian Harbour bursts past them to crash the ball past a furious Lind Pressinger. Their only shot on target all game! Athletic had nine, with Armstrong’s holding midfielder Kisel player of the match. Across town, a derby between the Moths and Ferrymen is fought out to a 2-2 draw, Maxine Lynwood’s familiar face cropping up for a 2nd-minute goal while Diandra Kilbane re-introduces herself to the Premiership with a thunderous equalising free kick. Across the other side of town, Stiin Siorrha’Asione casts off any rumours of slipping away from the spotlight as his brace helps the Chariots blaze through the Maulers - could’ve been a hat-trick, but he blazed a late penalty into the stratosphere. Belgrave and Morningstar face winnable fixtures, but both blow them. Worryingly, Belgrave are simply outwitted and outmatched by the Rovers, while Morningstar are 2-1 up before a red card on debut for Kurtis Rough for smashing through Tsikitisiris on the stroke of half-time opens the way for Stenet and Finlay to save the day for the Spiders. Lisa Amos’ Starling face no such issues, and pulverise Bishop 4-0 - Lucius Kaspian battling for his place with a goal and two assists. Amidst all this, a clash at the sharp end between Crisisbless and Brinemouth is a rather dull affair, settled in the end by Jevdjevic-Hadsic’s twenty-yard piledriver.

Belgrave 0-3 Crisisbless
Morningstar 2-1 Brinemouth
Armstrong 2-1 Maximum Rovers
Raven River 1-0 North Laithland
Cranequin Wanderers 1-2 Sabrefell Athletic
AFC Serpentine 1-0 Sabrefell Moths
Corvette Maulers 1-3 AFC Treason
Chenoworth Harriers 1-0 Vermillion Rage
Bishop 1-0 Violence Chariots
Parrhesia United 3-1 Coret Hawks
Newrook City 1-2 Starling
Creed United 4-1 Brookford Otters

Crisisbless reinforce their credentials with a demolition of Belgrave, a 3-0 away win that Kosovare Fairweather in the Belgrave goal single-handedly stops from getting worse. Drusilla Naess is dominated by the canny Cautcher, her beleagured substitute Stepton does even worse, and they present no threat up front. But the other three promoted sides all win - Matt Bowerman saves Gazzincha’s penalty and Kaskanis’ goal at the other end secures a deserved 1-0 win for River, Armstrong overpower the Rovers on the wings en route to a 2-1 win (Lindberg allowing Kouroglou’s shot to slip underneath him didn’t hurt) and Emery Lineker will take great satisfaction in her Morningstar side beating the shit out of Brinemouth. Marko Petrosian scores the first and Barak Sahar heads home the winner from an inch-perfect Woodwind corner, with Candelo’s late consolation immaterial. The Dockers remain pointless.

Crisisbless 4-1 Morningstar
Belgrave 1-0 Armstrong
Brinemouth 3-0 Raven River
Maximum Rovers 3-2 Cranequin Wanderers
North Laithland 0-2 AFC Serpentine
Sabrefell Athletic 3-2 Corvette Maulers
Sabrefell Moths 2-1 Chenoworth Harriers
AFC Treason 1-3 Bishop
Vermillion Rage 2-0 Parrhesia United
Violence Chariots 1-0 Newrook City
Coret Hawks 1-0 Creed United
Starling 1-2 Brookford Otters

Vermillion derby! Two sides playing 4-3-3, new strikers and goalkeepers and with weaknesses at rightback. Sadly, in the event, Sinan Uzunlar (still goalless) doesn’t do particularly… much. Davor Antunovic? Does. Coraline Madrigal ‘megs Alexandros, runs past her and clips in an inch-perfect cross, Antunovic gets the jump on Brun and clatters home a header low and hard past Darren Koufax. The Saints’ goalkeeper has to do well to stop further shots from Alemane, Aveline and eventually the Quisling substitute Xidhas (after Aveline limps off injured in the 28th minute, Womack pulling his best ‘it wasn’t me’ face) before Paulsson’s thunderous strike kills off the game in the 40th minute. “We just didn’t fight for it,” Turnbull seethes in the aftermath. Belgrave finally get points on the board in a dull match against Armstrong, saved again by Fairweather before Dejana Petersen rifles their first goal of the season past Holstad’s near post. Crisisbless continue their rampage by pumping Morningstar 4-1, Brinemouth finally spark up and break River into their component parts to the tune of a 3-0 win while Bishop, thanks largely to an Ansel Penbrooke hattrick (he’s actually scored all four of their goals thus far), hand Treason their first defeat of the season.

Armstrong 3-5 Crisisbless
Raven River 1-0 Morningstar
Cranequin Wanderers 3-0 Belgrave
AFC Serpentine 1-1 Brinemouth
Corvette Maulers 0-0 Maximum Rovers
Chenoworth Harriers 1-5 North Laithland
Bishop 0-2 Sabrefell Athletic
Parrhesia United 2-2 Sabrefell Moths
Newrook City 2-2 AFC Treason
Creed United 0-1 Vermillion Rage
Brookford Otters 1-1 Violence Chariots
Starling 1-1 Coret Hawks

Who’d have thought it? Armstrong can score three goals in one match! Crisisbless, yet to drop a point, might have been sweating in the 70th minute - the scores locked at 3-3 and Lauro Tedesco sent off for a second yellow card. Instead, what happens? Two substitutes - Sante Sundu smashes home a winner and Redmayne hammers home a fifth in injury time. Meanwhile, it might just be possible that Belgrave are terrible at football. It’s an unusually open match against Cranequin Wanderers, but Darren Gravesend has a flier in goal and the Wanderers refuse to be nearly as wasteful as the profligate Violets. Sroel Cavan runs the show, an excellent signing so far, and gets the first goal, Evans opens his account with a driving half-volley before the impressive teenager Rowena Strongbow tallies her first in her senior career, an arcing shot that rises perfectly over Fairweather, to cap off a brilliant win. Gazzincha looks unusually sober before the Spiders’ hammering of the Harriers, a match in which his every touch is perfect. He dominates the midfield and places passes perfectly across the field, notching up two goals and an assist. The only bright spot for the Harriers? Airik Ruhl finally gets his first goal for the club- oh, wait, it’s chalked off for offside.

Crisisbless 1-0 Raven River
Armstrong 0-1 Cranequin Wanderers
Morningstar 0-3 AFC Serpentine
Belgrave 1-1 Corvette Maulers
Brinemouth 1-2 Chenoworth Harriers
Maximum Rovers 2-2 Bishop
North Laithland 1-1 Parrhesia United
Sabrefell Athletic 4-2 Newrook City
Sabrefell Moths 2-3 Creed United
AFC Treason 3-1 Brookford Otters
Vermillion Rage 0-2 Starling
Violence Chariots 0-2 Coret Hawks

The Saints really should close the game against North Laithland - Sinan Uzunlar scores his first goal, admittedly in farcical circumstances (a heavy first touch leads to pinball in the box, but he pushes through his way to the ball and thumps it past a stranded Corren), but they’re unable to follow up on it before Gazzincha’s scorpion kick, of all things, homes in on goal. Admittedly, it homes in straight at Koufax’s shins… until it bounces off Brun’s thigh and whuds lamely over the goalline. Catherine Locklear’s Creed have played pretty well this season, and will feel especially proud to claw back a 2-1 deficit at half-time to a 3-2 win away from home against the Moths… but did Conor Magellan punch his equaliser into the net? Yes. Yes he did. The fans, if anything, love him more for it. Brinemouth have still only won the single game as the Harriers bounce back in style, goals on either wing from Rexmont and Feist securing a valuable 2-1 win away.

Cranequin Wanderers 0-2 Crisisbless
AFC Serpentine 1-1 Raven River
Corvette Maulers 0-0 Armstrong
Chenoworth Harriers 5-1 Morningstar
Bishop 2-0 Belgrave
Parrhesia United 0-2 Brinemouth
Newrook City 1-0 Maximum Rovers
Creed United 4-0 North Laithland
Brookford Otters 3-0 Sabrefell Athletic
Starling 2-2 Sabrefell Moths
Coret Hawks 2-3 AFC Treason
Violence Chariots 0-0 Vermillion Rage

Finally. He took his sweet time, but Airik Ruhl - who has started seven matches for the Harriers (two in international tournaments) thus far - gets his first goal. Steven Rexmont dominates Morningstar rightback Rough throughout (who never quite seems to recover from an early booking) and slots in a low cross, Ruhl reads it well and strokes it between Ceferin’s sprawling legs. Rexmont is a force of nature that game, getting two goals of his own en route to a 5-1 win - and Morningstar’s 1 is Sahar’s off a corner, making the big centre-half their top scorer of the season so far. It’s a good week for thumpings generally - Brookford shock Athletic 3-0, for instance, with Danira Plibersek inspired in the centre of the park, and Creed pump the hapless Spiders 4-0. 30-year old journeyman Soren Maaksemstad, with his fifth and sixth goals of the season, finds himself the league’s top scorer. Treason midfielder Vedran Tarashaj manages to alienate his hometown club, smashing home a late winner and celebrating freely. He was blunt as ever to the press afterwards; “Look, I like scoring goals.” Fair enough, Tara. Fair enough.

Crisisbless 3-0 AFC Serpentine
Cranequin Wanderers 4-2 Corvette Maulers
Raven River 1-3 Chenoworth Harriers
Armstrong 0-2 Bishop
Morningstar 1-1 Parrhesia United
Belgrave 3-1 Newrook City
Brinemouth 0-1 Creed United
Maximum Rovers 1-4 Brookford Otters
North Laithland 1-3 Starling
Sabrefell Athletic 2-1 Coret Hawks
Sabrefell Moths 3-3 Violence Chariots
AFC Treason 0-1 Vermillion Rage

Really bad signs in Maximum, as the Rovers are thumped 4-1 by Brookford on home turf. There’s a suspicion that an aging, mediocre side has just gotten a step too aging and mediocre, and Aziz Senturk, now 32, doesn’t have that same capacity to eviscerate a side on a good day. They just look horribly off the pace, goalscorer Kolitsidakis aside. Ruhl develops a newfound taste for scoring goals, a second-half brace of headers seperating the Harriers from the Ferrymen. Meanwhile, a pulsating fixture in Sabrefell, the Moths hosting the Chariots. Siorrha’Asione, despite fresh new tabloid allegations, starts! And scores within twenty-eight seconds of kickoff, pouncing on a loose pass by Theresa Desantis, nutmegging Armstrong and chipping Griffin. But then the Moths hit back - Johnson twice, either side of Meier smashing the ball into the top corner from thirty yards. The Chariots are dominated in the second half, until late on, two counterattacks carve the Moths apart, with a substitute in 21-year old striker Claudia Escrow making the difference with two goals. Criticise the Moths’ game management as much as you want, it was still a staggering comeback, and a testament to Escrow’s promise (and, for what it’s worth, the much-maligned Edelgrau for making a litany of saves).

Corvette Maulers 1-4 Crisisbless
Chenoworth Harriers 1-0 AFC Serpentine
Bishop 1-1 Cranequin Wanderers
Parrhesia United 1-3 Raven River
Newrook City 0-1 Armstrong
Creed United 2-2 Morningstar
Brookford Otters 1-0 Belgrave
Starling 1-1 Brinemouth
Coret Hawks 5-1 Maximum Rovers
Violence Chariots 2-1 North Laithland
Vermillion Rage 1-2 Sabrefell Athletic
AFC Treason 0-2 Sabrefell Moths

Eight straight wins for Crisisbless. They’ve maanged five clean sheets, too, and there’ve been some thumping wins in the mix - this 4-1 over a hapless Corvette the latest of them. The much-maligned Portia Thrift seems determined to keep ahold of her job after a very rocky start with the club. The Hawks add to Maximum’s issues, sweeping them aside 5-1. The first three goals come within the first half-hour and though Konstanze Luitgard hits back not long after, Kurtis Woodbine’s red card for a scything challenge on Jenny McDonald kills the game off as a contest, Alyss Montague and Dorian Fletchclair notching up their first goals of the season in the second half to ratchet up a humiliating scoreline. “They didn’t even fight out there!” an incredulous Catheline Harper vents to the press. Loose cannons Gazzincha and Stiin Siorrha’Asione are both sent off in the 50th minute of Violence against North Laithland for brawling mid-game, each having a goal to their name by that point, and a vibrant match turns into a grinding slugfest that goes the Chariots’ way, 2-1. Meanwhile, at the business end of the table, Treason are outgunned by the Moths. Robert Griffin has a brilliant match between the posts for Sabrefell, with Mathilda Jaeger the player of the match for her role, brilliantly dropping deep to link midfield and Johnson. ‘Two assists’, one to Belgrave and one to Johnson, is a grave disservice to her impact on the match.

Crisisbless 0-0 Chenoworth Harriers
Corvette Maulers 1-0 Bishop
AFC Serpentine 3-2 Parrhesia United
Cranequin Wanderers 0-1 Newrook City
Raven River 2-0 Creed United
Armstrong 2-1 Brookford Otters
Morningstar 2-1 Starling
Belgrave 2-1 Coret Hawks
Brinemouth 2-1 Violence Chariots
Maximum Rovers 2-1 Vermillion Rage
North Laithland 2-1 AFC Treason
Sabrefell Athletic 3-1 Sabrefell Moths

A fascinating week of results in a week where six of them ended 2-1 wins for the hosts. Crisisbless finally stop in their tracks, Aidan Brosque telling his Harriers to just mark the shit out of the Heelers, switching to a Christmas tree formation with three holding midfielders and battening down the hatches. Ruhl is played one-on-one with the goalkeeper twice, but Marciak proves Crisisbless’ saviour yet again, while Sheffield is barely threatened. Will Thrift take it with good grace? “I don’t know what the fuck Brosque was playing at, but it wasn’t football, that’s a fact.” So that’s a no, then. All the newly-promoted sides win, and some are pretty damn impressive - Belgrave’s 2-1 victory over Coret may prove particularly vital - and even Corvette finally manage their first win of the season. They play right into Alexis Spurlock’s hands, but a powerful shot from Ruza Djuric somehow slips through Rebecca Scannell’s hands while Sparr is faultless at the other end, and the Maulers take home a 1-0 win. Also winning at the foot of the table? Uh… Brinemouth. Kyron Bartley’s late winner over the Chariots secures just their third win of the season, releasing just a bit of the tension on Stephen Frew. North Laithland get their chance to have it out with Treason and, for the first time in what seems like forever, actually win - it’s a tight match, but excellent work on the flanks by Guiliani and Riordan shuts down the wings, 21-year old Rasunda Vanderlei shuts down the midfield and goals from Prisca Stenet and Luke Wintergren (deputising for the suspended Gazzincha) secure a valuable 2-1 win for the Spiders. And then a Sabrefell derby on top of it all - but it’s not much of a contest, it has to be said. Athletic are dominant from start to finish, Jaeger’s goal (an equaliser at the time) seeming like an anomaly, and while it takes a 87th-minute third goal from substitute Gareth Corvine to seal the deal, it was ultimately fairly cruisy.

Bishop 1-1 Crisisbless
Parrhesia United 1-1 Chenoworth Harriers
Newrook City 2-0 Corvette Maulers
Creed United 1-0 AFC Serpentine
Brookford Otters 1-5 Cranequin Wanderers
Starling 1-0 Raven River
Coret Hawks 1-2 Armstrong
Violence Chariots 3-3 Morningstar
Vermillion Rage 1-2 Belgrave
AFC Treason 1-0 Brinemouth
Sabrefell Moths 1-1 Maximum Rovers
Sabrefell Athletic 3-2 North Laithland

And then things get worse for Brinemouth, as Treason calmly contains them with unnerving ease. Sure, Treason are really good, and are at home, but… still. It should be harder than this! Cranequin Wanderers, out of basically nowhere, tear Brookford to shreds. Yet again it’s Sroel Cavan who’s the star for Cranequin, and Brookford don’t have an answer for his intensity, or for Strongbow on the left, or the strike partnership of Teixeira and Evans, and somehow the score ends 5-1. Crisisbless are held to a draw again - Rebecca Scannell retains her place and rewards the faith with an excellent performance for Bishop… until her injury in the 52nd minute unsuccessfully defending a one-on-one leads to a penalty, with Crisisbless leading 1-0. But Connor Risdon sprawls across to save the shot and five minutes later, Bishop equalises through Sasha Shawcroft’s first goal of the season. As for the Chariots… remember how they were praised so recently for their game maangement? They’re up 2-0 against Morningstar at the hour mark and seemingly cruising and then Siorrha’Asione, who had been niggled and battered throughout the game by Lineker’s players, is sent crashing to the ground by Stars leftback Lothar Andreas. In response, he… launches himself off the ground with his hands, studs-first, at Andreas’ chest. He’s sent off, and then a flurry of action sees the game close out 3-3 with the equally temperamental Henrique Lopez the hat-trick hero for the away side. Two red cards in two appearances for Siorrha’Asione, who might have some thinking to do.

Crisisbless 4-0 RGS Athletic
Excelsior Slogda 0-4 AFC Treason
1830 Cathair FC 0-0 Sabrefell Moths
Starling 0-2 Cornellians

It all kicks off. What’s more, it does so in real style and fashion for Crisisbless and Treason! Perhaps no surprise, Crisisbless are still unbeaten, and with fringe Nephara international Jason Petratos between the posts for RGS take absolutely no mercy, bullying the Eastfield side to a 4-0 win. It’s the same deal for Treason, who pump Excelsior by the same scoreline - the two-man midfield of Labonne and Tarashaj form a relentless axis of muscle in the centre of the park. 1830 Cathair, meanwhile, host the Moths in arguably the most-anticipated tie of all of football that week - but somehow, despite Alpha Gandhi, Espy va Drake, Aaliyah Johnson and Scheherazade Meier all somehow being on the same pitch at the same time, they grind out a stalemate. Robert Griffin takes home the plaudits as man of the match, but it could easily have gone to Soldarian for shutting down the Moths’ midfield as well. Would that Starling could boast even a dire stalemate - but no, they’re outplayed by Reinhard Shale’s Cornellians all over the pitch for a 2-0 defeat on home soil - a result Schottian media is debating could be the greatest result in their history.

Lisda Lokado Goji Salamji 3-2 Parrhesia United
Sabrefell Athletic 1-1 Madorre de Fuego

Less success for Nephara in the Globe Cup. Parrhesia, who are floundering in the league, don’t cope much better heading abroad and though Sinan Uzunlar manages to get his feet off the ground with a brace the Saints deserve their defeat. Athletic at least manage a draw, but Oscar Coltrane plays poorly - hitherto everpresent, he’s substituted off for the first time. In his absence, Levin Castellan sets up a late equaliser in injury time for Bereveskos, and it’s probably deserved on the balance of things, but it’s a close-run thing.

Crisisbless 1-0 Parrhesia United
Bishop 1-0 Newrook City
Chenoworth Harriers 1-0 Creed United
Corvette Maulers 2-4 Brookford Otters
AFC Serpentine 1-1 Starling
Cranequin Wanderers 1-2 Coret Hawks
Raven River 1-1 Violence Chariots
Armstrong 2-2 Vermillion Rage
Morningstar 0-2 AFC Treason
Belgrave 1-5 Sabrefell Moths
Brinemouth 0-2 Sabrefell Athletic
Maximum Rovers 0-1 North Laithland

A lot of tight fixtures this week, with one clear exception - the Moths blow Belgrave away. The Gargoyles just don’t have an answer to… anything, really. Johnson scores and Dejana Petersen equalises within the first ten minutes but after that point the Moths crush them. Credit’s due to Athletic as well, as they really twist the knife into a poor Brinemouth side - Chloe Rudden’s brace does the damage. Corvette manage to edge Brookford in the first half, 2-1, but they absolutely collapse in the second as Nikita Loeher blazes to life with a hat-trick - Lukas Sparr is furious at his defence and also suspiciously ineffective at his near post throughout. Meanwhile, Emery Lineker’s Stars come up against Treason. The manager’s a love-to-hate figure by the Stags, and the feeling’s mutual - but while her niggly, bitty side somehow manages 48% of the possession and a few decent shots, they just aren’t clinical enough, while at the other end Roddy Fraser is… himself.

Celebryant FC 0-3 Boltcroft Thorns
Gonen's Bridge 1-1 Long Lake (1-1 AET, 3-5 PKs)
Norton Road 0-2 Fenland Albion
Kommissar 0-0 Ox River United (1-1 AET, 5-4 PKs)
Nay Town 1-1 Lackerrun (1-2 AET)
Courser 1-0 Capricopia Rangers
Sandrock 1-0 Forge Carpenters
Sutcroft Athletic 0-4 Gosmouth Swans
Gridlock Rovers 1-1 Peregrine (2-1 AET)
Coral Bay 0-2 The Hanged Man
Twelvetrees 0-3 Rookwall
Ballardine FC 1-1 Gartside FC (2-1 AET)
Tryst Athletic 1-3 Mapleford
Stamper Road 2-1 Blaze
Fully Sick XI 2-4 Rochford Pilgrims
Gridlock East 4-3 Corinthians No Longer
West End 0-1 Bodkin Road
Downsparrow 8-0 FC Seierstad
Sirencall FC 1-1 Corby Hubris (1-1 AET, 1-3 PKs)
Sleetwell Rangers 1-0 Senway Town
Mainstream Fist 3-2 Strephonage
Falston United 1-2 Bellamy
Lazuli Diamonds 3-0 South Brill
Alliance Barossia 3-0 Masculine Town
Ramsay 1-1 Ringway (1-2 AET)
Brunyard FC 2-2 North Dubstep (2-3 AET)
Violence Tigers 2-0 Swag Hill Rovers
Falston Town 0-0 Grovebank (0-0 AET, 3-4 PKs)
Gridlock 1-1 Stonesthrow Town (2-1 AET)
Fischer 3-2 Dubstep Rangers
Markoni 0-0 The Travellers FC (0-0 AET, 3-0 PKs)
Harrington 3-2 Hartford Glade

First round of the Cup, and as always there’s a lot to talk about. Markoni and the Travellers, both promoted to the Conference East last season, come up against each other as a study in contrasts. Markoni are veterans of the division in their second stint while the Travellers, based in the Vale, are a ragged patchwork who seek to represent an entire demographic. The match itself is pretty dire, secured in the end by the penalty-saving prowess of Kenneth Ratchett, who saves all three penalties the Travellers throw at him in the shootout. Sleetwell Rangers are the only newly-promoted side to the West who win, grinding a 1-0 win over Senway a division above. It’s the latest humiliation for Senway, a side in freefall and set for consecutive relegations if they can’t work their way out of their current tailspin. Alliance Barossia take a break from their relegation battle to stamp their authority on Masculine Town - given a special dispensation as the sole semi-professional side in the national leagues, they’re unsurprisingly in the shit in the fourth tier, but this thumping 3-0 win will ease the nerves. It’s Downsparrow, though, who catch the most eyes - they tear FC Seierstad to shreds to the tune of an 8-0 demolition.

Newrook City 2-1 Crisisbless
Creed United 0-1 Parrhesia United
Brookford Otters 0-2 Bishop
Starling 6-1 Chenoworth Harriers
Coret Hawks 6-3 Corvette Maulers
Violence Chariots 3-2 AFC Serpentine
Vermillion Rage 5-1 Cranequin Wanderers
AFC Treason 2-2 Raven River
Sabrefell Moths 3-1 Armstrong
Sabrefell Athletic 1-1 Morningstar
North Laithland 2-0 Belgrave
Maximum Rovers 1-1 Brinemouth

Crisisbless suffer their first defeat of the campaign! They race out to an early lead courtesy of Ozaria Gandhi but are undone by their former player Rook Fenwick and Newrook’s top scorer Alan Bothroyd, who has had a quiet start to life in Nephara. It gives Sabrefell Athletic a chance to overtake them at the top but Morningstar doesn’t feel like obliging, thank you very much, and a late Henrique Lopez header splits the points. Athletic are now second, short on goal difference. Starling hammer Chenoworth 6-1 thanks largely to the inspirational Liam Armstrong but also to the pace of Andisori and Hawke, which the Harriers’ aging defence has no answer to. Bishop, surprisingly, are fourth after a flying start to the season - a calm, professional 2-0 win over the Otters is just the gameplan working to perfection. They overtake Treason, who stumble to a 2-2 home draw against safely midtable River (Apotheosis Kaskanis doing the damage for the Ferrymen), and the aforementioned Harriers. Coret, pulverising Corvette 6-3, round out the UICA places, edging Creed United on goals scored. Sabrefell Moths have had a fairly disjointed start to the season thus far, scoring 25 goals but conceding 20, and lie 9th - but a thoroughly professional 3-1 victory over Armstrong sets them on the right path again.

And credit to Armstrong - they’re doing far better than expected, three points above danger in sixteenth. The four teams between them and the playoff place are locked on 13 points - Newrook only clambering there thanks to their win over Crisisbless. Cranequin, less happy with their results, are trashed 5-1 by a Paulsson-inspired Vermillion, Belgrave are beaten 2-0 by North Laithland and Maximum Rovers manage a desperate, scrappy 1-1 draw against Brinemouth. Where are Brinemouth? The relegation playoff place. Inexplicably, they have just twelve points thus far, and while a few injuries haven’t helped… 21st? Really? Parrhesia clinch a vital three points away to Creed thanks to Jazmin Dragana weaving past McMillan and Dukakis and chipping Beresford in first half injury time. Dragana came to the Saints to be at a stronger club, which is now 18 places below where she just left. Oops. Morningstar are doing surprisingly poorly, despite Lineker’s bullish statements and their impressive draw, while Corvette, on just six points - already seven from complete safety - and having conceded a staggering 32 goals, are in serious trouble.

FC Capri 3-1 Crisisbless
AFC Treason 2-0 Sonoma Center Panthers
Sabrefell Moths 3-1 Sport Wios
Avenida Leal 2-1 Starling

A mixed week for ~the coefficient~. Crisisbless slump to a 3-1 defeat at the hands of Capri - journeyman Nepharim striker Sue Hackett’s flying header opens the scores, and though Jevdjevic-Hadsic’s crisp finish levels it a second-half brace from Mithtata seals an impressive win for the Vanorian side. Treason makes light, professional work of Sonoma, two headers either side of half-time from Fraser and the unlikely Vesper securing a victory, while Sabrefell overpower Daineri outfit Wios with Mathilda Jaeger yet again emerging in a starring role. Avenida Leal and Starling are evenly matched for 89 minutes and then a brilliant pass from Ruy Monrazon splits open the Passerines’ defence and, with a pumping run inside from the flank, Trejo Maes comes out of nowhere to smash it past Hargrave and give Avenida a valuable 2-1 win in trademark Farfish style.

Parrhesia United 1-2 Handon United
Yuba United 2-2 Sabrefell Athletic

Quinn McEthinly was reunited with Handon United and, more pertinently, Jane Gullie - the manager who’d released her from the club. Swanhilda Berisha got the game off to a good start for Parrhesia despite their floundering Premiership form, but second-half goals from Lovenkrands and Nunez ensured Handon took home the points. McEthinly got twenty minutes in the second half to replace the anonymous Uzunlar and salvage something, but the most she could do is hit the outside of a post. After a sloppy first half, Athletic clawed their way back down from a 2-0 deficit to claim a valuable point as Coltrane clipped in a free kick and the substitute Lindan Lucassen hammered home a late leveller.

MATCHDAY 1
Martella Jazz 1-3 Sutcroft
Leichhardt 0-0 Mantlegrove
Extreme Hills 2-1 Hackett
Vermillion Wanderers 2-3 Greygate
Ritter Town 0-1 West Brinemouth
Coret Rovers 0-1 Maximum City
Iron City 1-0 Goodfeather FC
Cypher Town 2-0 Chatswood
Cranequin City 2-1 North Sabrefell
Diamondqueen 3-0 East Laithland Harriers
Southfell United 3-0 South Laithland
Crisisbless United 1-2 Sheridan
MATCHDAY 2
Mantlegrove 5-1 Martella Jazz
Hackett 1-1 Sutcroft
Greygate 0-2 Leichhardt
West Brinemouth 1-2 Extreme Hills
Maximum City 3-1 Vermillion Wanderers
Goodfeather FC 2-0 Ritter Town
Chatswood 3-0 Coret Rovers
North Sabrefell 1-1 Iron City
East Laithland Harriers 1-2 Cypher Town
South Laithland 3-0 Cranequin City
Sheridan 0-1 Diamondqueen
Crisisbless United 2-0 Southfell United
MATCHDAY 3
Martella Jazz 1-2 Hackett
Mantlegrove 0-2 Greygate
Sutcroft 0-1 West Brinemouth
Leichhardt 2-0 Maximum City
Extreme Hills 0-2 Goodfeather FC
Vermillion Wanderers 2-0 Chatswood
Ritter Town 2-1 North Sabrefell
Coret Rovers 4-0 East Laithland Harriers
Iron City 0-1 South Laithland
Cypher Town 1-0 Sheridan
Cranequin City 1-1 Crisisbless United
Diamondqueen 1-1 Southfell United
MATCHDAY 4
Greygate 0-1 Martella Jazz
West Brinemouth 3-0 Hackett
Maximum City 2-2 Mantlegrove
Goodfeather FC 1-1 Sutcroft
Chatswood 0-2 Leichhardt
North Sabrefell 0-0 Extreme Hills
East Laithland Harriers 1-3 Vermillion Wanderers
South Laithland 1-1 Ritter Town
Sheridan 0-2 Coret Rovers
Crisisbless United 2-0 Iron City
Southfell United 3-2 Cypher Town
Diamondqueen 2-0 Cranequin City
MATCHDAY 5
Martella Jazz 0-0 West Brinemouth
Greygate 0-1 Maximum City
Hackett 3-1 Goodfeather FC
Mantlegrove 0-1 Chatswood
Sutcroft 0-4 North Sabrefell
Leichhardt 1-1 East Laithland Harriers
Extreme Hills 1-0 South Laithland
Vermillion Wanderers 1-0 Sheridan
Ritter Town 2-0 Crisisbless United
Coret Rovers 0-3 Southfell United
Iron City 0-4 Diamondqueen
Cypher Town 1-1 Cranequin City
MATCHDAY 6
Maximum City 1-2 Martella Jazz
Goodfeather FC 1-1 West Brinemouth
Chatswood 0-2 Greygate
North Sabrefell 1-0 Hackett
East Laithland Harriers 1-1 Mantlegrove
South Laithland 5-2 Sutcroft
Sheridan 2-2 Leichhardt
Crisisbless United 1-2 Extreme Hills
Southfell United 3-0 Vermillion Wanderers
Diamondqueen 3-0 Ritter Town
Cranequin City 1-1 Coret Rovers
Cypher Town 0-1 Iron City
MATCHDAY 7
Martella Jazz 1-3 Goodfeather FC
Maximum City 1-1 Chatswood
West Brinemouth 0-2 North Sabrefell
Greygate 1-0 East Laithland Harriers
Hackett 0-3 South Laithland
Mantlegrove 0-0 Sheridan
Sutcroft 3-0 Crisisbless United
Leichhardt 1-1 Southfell United
Extreme Hills 1-1 Diamondqueen
Vermillion Wanderers 1-2 Cranequin City
Ritter Town 1-3 Cypher Town
Coret Rovers 4-0 Iron City
MATCHDAY 8
Chatswood 2-0 Martella Jazz
North Sabrefell 0-4 Goodfeather FC
East Laithland Harriers 0-0 Maximum City
South Laithland 1-0 West Brinemouth
Sheridan 1-1 Greygate
Crisisbless United 4-2 Hackett
Southfell United 2-1 Mantlegrove
Diamondqueen 1-1 Sutcroft
Cranequin City 0-1 Leichhardt
Cypher Town 0-0 Extreme Hills
Iron City 3-0 Vermillion Wanderers
Coret Rovers 0-2 Ritter Town
MATCHDAY 9
Martella Jazz 0-3 North Sabrefell
Chatswood 1-0 East Laithland Harriers
Goodfeather FC 2-2 South Laithland
Maximum City 1-0 Sheridan
West Brinemouth 0-1 Crisisbless United
Greygate 1-4 Southfell United
Hackett 1-2 Diamondqueen
Mantlegrove 1-1 Cranequin City
Sutcroft 1-1 Cypher Town
Leichhardt 0-0 Iron City
Extreme Hills 6-0 Coret Rovers
Vermillion Wanderers 0-3 Ritter Town
MATCHDAY 10
East Laithland Harriers 3-2 Martella Jazz
South Laithland 1-2 North Sabrefell
Sheridan 0-0 Chatswood
Crisisbless United 0-1 Goodfeather FC
Southfell United 2-0 Maximum City
Diamondqueen 1-0 West Brinemouth
Cranequin City 0-1 Greygate
Cypher Town 1-1 Hackett
Iron City 0-2 Mantlegrove
Coret Rovers 2-0 Sutcroft
Ritter Town 0-2 Leichhardt
Vermillion Wanderers 1-2 Extreme Hills
MATCHDAY 11
Martella Jazz 0-4 South Laithland
East Laithland Harriers 3-0 Sheridan
North Sabrefell 1-2 Crisisbless United
Chatswood 1-1 Southfell United
Goodfeather FC 0-3 Diamondqueen
Maximum City 1-1 Cranequin City
West Brinemouth 1-0 Cypher Town
Greygate 0-1 Iron City
Hackett 2-1 Coret Rovers
Mantlegrove 1-3 Ritter Town
Sutcroft 0-1 Vermillion Wanderers
Leichhardt 1-0 Extreme Hills
MATCHDAY 12
Sheridan 2-3 Martella Jazz
Crisisbless United 1-0 South Laithland
Southfell United 7-1 East Laithland Harriers
Diamondqueen 3-0 North Sabrefell
Cranequin City 1-1 Chatswood
Cypher Town 1-1 Goodfeather FC
Iron City 1-0 Maximum City
Coret Rovers 1-0 West Brinemouth
Ritter Town 2-2 Greygate
Vermillion Wanderers 0-0 Hackett
Extreme Hills 0-0 Mantlegrove
Leichhardt 3-0 Sutcroft

Some decisive winners and losers across the first phase in the second tier. Diamondqueen splatted East Laithland 3-0 in the first match and neither side ever looked back - the Diamonds are unbeaten and have conceded just four goals (as many as they put past Iron City away in one match) to date, while East Laithland have staggered from humiliation to humiliation under a weary Providence Mitford, culminating in a 7-1 capitulation at the hands of a professional-looking Southfell United. The Tanners are mostly just annihilating opponents with their midfield Leichhardt are also going strong, also unbeaten and haven’t conceded in five matches, while Extreme Hills have limped into fourth largely through the goals of Dieter Vorbeck (who has contributed nine of their seventeen, four coming in a single 6-0 match against Coret Rovers) alone.

None of last season’s relegated sides are in the promotion places, and only Goodfeather is even in the top half presently - the Quakers suffered a rude introduction to the second tier as Iron bashed and buffered them before Refik Penterzen’s free kick ensured a 1-0 win. Seward has rallied his troops from that, but they’ve been soundly beaten by struggling Hackett as well and a 3-0 thumping by Diamondqueen on their own turf showed them how far they’ve got to go. Hawke’s policy of letting Gary Corsie train with the reserves hasn’t worked out - the defence has been fine, but the midfield has failed to step up and support Joan Vickers (five goals) and Cohen (just three). But they overturned everything last season - Maximum City changed basically nothing, and yet the two are only split on goals scored. Somehow, West Brinemouth actually started well with three wins from their first four... but then the slide started. Eight goals is joint-lowest in the league, and Kunigunde Almerich, tipped to thrive in the second tier, has played every minute and scored exactly once. Newly-promoted Greygate are above the three of them, spurred on by the surprisingly good form of Richard Harrison, of all people.

At the bottom of the table, it’s… more or less as expected. Cranequin City, winless in five, have allowed themselves to be pulled into trouble as it’s just become evident that they lack pace of any kind (Rebecca Kelsey might be able to hold back the ravages of time, but Glaive? Not so much). Laura Annesley’s started slowly, but she’s scored two equalisers in the past two games to keep their heads above water. Unbeaten in three, Hackett are keeping their heads above water, but their signings have been haphazard - Bueskens isn’t up to scratch at this level anymore, but she’s been replaced by teenaged Project +90 salvage Nicola Wrexham, who’s impressed. They’ve clambered past Sutcroft, who have failed to score in their last three and been beaten in all of them, most recently allowing goalshy Leichhardt to fire three past Elsa Farian. At the foot of the table Sheridan - who, it has to be reminded, came fifth last season - have been utterly dire, winless since the opening day and losing to Martella (at home) and East Laithland (3-0!) in their past two matches. East Laithland can’t be too smug, given the aforementioned 7-1 humiliation, while Martella have conceded twenty-eight goals despite some acrobatic performances by Ulf Foxhole (without whom they’d be fucked), which says... everything. A long-term injury to Michelle Trelawney early in the season has proven disastrous, and you’d expect them and the Harriers to go down. Sheridan? They have the quality, and a proven record - it just needs to be marshalled. You’d imagine that any manager who hadn’t done as much for them as Stubbs has would be out on his ear by now.

MATCHDAY 1
Crisisbless Athletic 3-3 Rushe United
Rhagant Schadenfreude 1-0 Dartmouth Terriers
South Parrhesia 0-3 Pillars of Southfell
Brindleton 3-4 The Strongest
Iron United 1-2 Rochford
Brookway Town 1-1 Locksley
Crossroads Town 1-1 Riverkey
Stonegrave 0-1 AFC Shale
Kensey Town 3-0 AFC Corvistone
Boleyn Town 1-0 Southriver
West Hook 4-0 Iberia Chenoworth
Dross Rovers 0-1 Chenoworth Rovers
MATCHDAY 2
Dartmouth Terriers 0-0 Crisisbless Athletic
Pillars of Southfell 1-0 Rushe United
The Strongest 2-0 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Rochford 0-0 South Parrhesia
Locksley 2-0 Brindleton
Riverkey 1-0 Iron United
AFC Shale 4-1 Brookway Town
AFC Corvistone 0-1 Crossroads Town
Southriver 0-0 Stonegrave
Iberia Chenoworth 0-3 Kensey Town
Chenoworth Rovers 1-0 Boleyn Town
Dross Rovers 1-0 West Hook
MATCHDAY 3
Crisisbless Athletic 2-2 Pillars of Southfell
Dartmouth Terriers 2-4 The Strongest
Rushe United 0-1 Rochford
Rhagant Schadenfreude 1-2 Locksley
South Parrhesia 0-1 Riverkey
Brindleton 0-1 AFC Shale
Iron United 1-0 AFC Corvistone
Brookway Town 0-0 Southriver
Crossroads Town 1-2 Iberia Chenoworth
Stonegrave 0-1 Chenoworth Rovers
Kensey Town 2-2 Dross Rovers
Boleyn Town 1-0 West Hook
MATCHDAY 4
The Strongest 7-1 Crisisbless Athletic
Rochford 0-2 Pillars of Southfell
Locksley 1-0 Dartmouth Terriers
Riverkey 4-2 Rushe United
AFC Shale 2-0 Rhagant Schadenfreude
AFC Corvistone 1-1 South Parrhesia
Southriver 1-0 Brindleton
Iberia Chenoworth 1-5 Iron United
Chenoworth Rovers 1-2 Brookway Town
Dross Rovers 1-1 Crossroads Town
West Hook 1-0 Stonegrave
Boleyn Town 2-2 Kensey Town
MATCHDAY 5
Crisisbless Athletic 0-2 Rochford
The Strongest 3-4 Locksley
Pillars of Southfell 0-1 Riverkey
Dartmouth Terriers 0-1 AFC Shale
Rushe United 1-1 AFC Corvistone
Rhagant Schadenfreude 1-0 Southriver
South Parrhesia 2-1 Iberia Chenoworth
Brindleton 1-1 Chenoworth Rovers
Iron United 3-1 Dross Rovers
Brookway Town 2-1 West Hook
Crossroads Town 1-0 Boleyn Town
Stonegrave 0-2 Kensey Town
MATCHDAY 6
Locksley 1-1 Crisisbless Athletic
Riverkey 3-4 Rochford
AFC Shale 0-1 The Strongest
AFC Corvistone 0-0 Pillars of Southfell
Southriver 1-1 Dartmouth Terriers
Iberia Chenoworth 4-2 Rushe United
Chenoworth Rovers 1-0 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Dross Rovers 0-1 South Parrhesia
West Hook 0-2 Brindleton
Boleyn Town 0-1 Iron United
Kensey Town 2-2 Brookway Town
Stonegrave 2-3 Crossroads Town
MATCHDAY 7
Crisisbless Athletic 2-0 Riverkey
Locksley 2-0 AFC Shale
Rochford 1-1 AFC Corvistone
The Strongest 2-1 Southriver
Pillars of Southfell 4-1 Iberia Chenoworth
Dartmouth Terriers 1-0 Chenoworth Rovers
Rushe United 1-3 Dross Rovers
Rhagant Schadenfreude 1-0 West Hook
South Parrhesia 1-1 Boleyn Town
Brindleton 2-2 Kensey Town
Iron United 0-1 Stonegrave
Brookway Town 1-0 Crossroads Town
MATCHDAY 8
AFC Shale 0-0 Crisisbless Athletic
AFC Corvistone 2-1 Riverkey
Southriver 1-2 Locksley
Iberia Chenoworth 2-3 Rochford
Chenoworth Rovers 1-0 The Strongest
Dross Rovers 3-0 Pillars of Southfell
West Hook 2-1 Dartmouth Terriers
Boleyn Town 1-1 Rushe United
Kensey Town 1-2 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Stonegrave 1-3 South Parrhesia
Crossroads Town 2-2 Brindleton
Brookway Town 0-2 Iron United
MATCHDAY 9
Crisisbless Athletic 5-4 AFC Corvistone
AFC Shale 1-0 Southriver
Riverkey 4-2 Iberia Chenoworth
Locksley 1-1 Chenoworth Rovers
Rochford 5-0 Dross Rovers
The Strongest 1-0 West Hook
Pillars of Southfell 1-0 Boleyn Town
Dartmouth Terriers 1-4 Kensey Town
Rushe United 1-2 Stonegrave
Rhagant Schadenfreude 1-0 Crossroads Town
South Parrhesia 2-0 Brookway Town
Brindleton 0-1 Iron United
MATCHDAY 10
Southriver 2-2 Crisisbless Athletic
Iberia Chenoworth 0-0 AFC Corvistone
Chenoworth Rovers 0-0 AFC Shale
Dross Rovers 0-2 Riverkey
West Hook 1-2 Locksley
Boleyn Town 1-0 Rochford
Kensey Town 1-4 The Strongest
Stonegrave 2-0 Pillars of Southfell
Crossroads Town 1-1 Dartmouth Terriers
Brookway Town 3-1 Rushe United
Iron United 1-0 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Brindleton 2-3 South Parrhesia
MATCHDAY 11
Crisisbless Athletic 3-0 Iberia Chenoworth
Southriver 0-2 Chenoworth Rovers
AFC Corvistone 1-3 Dross Rovers
AFC Shale 2-1 West Hook
Riverkey 4-0 Boleyn Town
Locksley 1-1 Kensey Town
Rochford 0-0 Stonegrave
The Strongest 0-2 Crossroads Town
Pillars of Southfell 3-3 Brookway Town
Dartmouth Terriers 1-0 Iron United
Rushe United 1-1 Brindleton
Rhagant Schadenfreude 2-3 South Parrhesia
MATCHDAY 12
Chenoworth Rovers 0-0 Crisisbless Athletic
Dross Rovers 2-1 Iberia Chenoworth
West Hook 2-0 Southriver
Boleyn Town 0-2 AFC Corvistone
Kensey Town 0-1 AFC Shale
Stonegrave 2-0 Riverkey
Crossroads Town 2-1 Locksley
Brookway Town 2-3 Rochford
Iron United 4-2 The Strongest
Brindleton 0-0 Pillars of Southfell
South Parrhesia 0-1 Dartmouth Terriers
Rhagant Schadenfreude 2-0 Rushe United
MATCHDAY 1
Sutcroft Athletic 2-1 Lazuli Diamonds
North Dubstep 0-1 Downsparrow
Ringway 2-1 Alliance Barossia
Gridlock East 1-2 Gosforth Swans
Fischer 1-1 Mapleford
Falston Town 2-1 Strephonage
Bellamy 0-2 Ox River United
Long Lake 5-0 Senway Town
Mainstream Fist 1-1 Ballardine FC
Kommissar 4-4 Peregrine
Fenland Albion 2-0 Falston United
Gridlock Rovers 1-2 The Hanged Man
MATCHDAY 2
Downsparrow 0-3 Sutcroft Athletic
Alliance Barossia 0-1 Lazuli Diamonds
Gosforth Swans 1-1 North Dubstep
Mapleford 1-1 Ringway
Strephonage 1-0 Gridlock East
Ox River United 2-1 Fischer
Senway Town 1-1 Falston Town
Ballardine FC 3-2 Bellamy
Peregrine 3-0 Long Lake
Falston United 2-1 Mainstream Fist
The Hanged Man 1-0 Kommissar
Gridlock Rovers 1-0 Fenland Albion
MATCHDAY 3
Sutcroft Athletic 1-0 Alliance Barossia
Downsparrow 1-2 Gosforth Swans
Lazuli Diamonds 3-0 Mapleford
North Dubstep 0-1 Strephonage
Ringway 1-1 Ox River United
Gridlock East 0-0 Senway Town
Fischer 1-2 Ballardine FC
Falston Town 0-1 Peregrine
Bellamy 1-1 Falston United
Long Lake 0-1 The Hanged Man
Mainstream Fist 0-4 Gridlock Rovers
Kommissar 1-1 Fenland Albion
MATCHDAY 4
Gosforth Swans 2-0 Sutcroft Athletic
Mapleford 1-3 Alliance Barossia
Strephonage 3-1 Downsparrow
Ox River United 1-1 Lazuli Diamonds
Senway Town 0-1 North Dubstep
Ballardine FC 1-0 Ringway
Peregrine 1-1 Gridlock East
Falston United 1-1 Fischer
The Hanged Man 0-0 Falston Town
Gridlock Rovers 0-0 Bellamy
Fenland Albion 0-2 Long Lake
Kommissar 4-0 Mainstream Fist
MATCHDAY 5
Sutcroft Athletic 1-1 Mapleford
Gosforth Swans 0-2 Strephonage
Alliance Barossia 1-1 Ox River United
Downsparrow 4-4 Senway Town
Lazuli Diamonds 2-0 Ballardine FC
North Dubstep 2-3 Peregrine
Ringway 1-1 Falston United
Gridlock East 0-1 The Hanged Man
Fischer 1-4 Gridlock Rovers
Falston Town 1-0 Fenland Albion
Bellamy 1-1 Kommissar
Long Lake 1-1 Mainstream Fist
MATCHDAY 6
Strephonage 1-0 Sutcroft Athletic
Ox River United 1-2 Mapleford
Senway Town 0-0 Gosforth Swans
Ballardine FC 1-1 Alliance Barossia
Peregrine 2-2 Downsparrow
Falston United 1-1 Lazuli Diamonds
The Hanged Man 2-0 North Dubstep
Gridlock Rovers 1-1 Ringway
Fenland Albion 1-0 Gridlock East
Kommissar 3-0 Fischer
Mainstream Fist 2-1 Falston Town
Long Lake 6-2 Bellamy
MATCHDAY 7
Sutcroft Athletic 1-1 Ox River United
Strephonage 3-2 Senway Town
Mapleford 2-0 Ballardine FC
Gosforth Swans 1-0 Peregrine
Alliance Barossia 1-1 Falston United
Downsparrow 0-2 The Hanged Man
Lazuli Diamonds 2-2 Gridlock Rovers
North Dubstep 1-0 Fenland Albion
Ringway 1-1 Kommissar
Gridlock East 4-2 Mainstream Fist
Fischer 0-0 Long Lake
Falston Town 0-0 Bellamy
MATCHDAY 8
Senway Town 1-3 Sutcroft Athletic
Ballardine FC 2-0 Ox River United
Peregrine 0-1 Strephonage
Falston United 2-1 Mapleford
The Hanged Man 3-2 Gosforth Swans
Gridlock Rovers 1-0 Alliance Barossia
Fenland Albion 1-0 Downsparrow
Kommissar 1-0 Lazuli Diamonds
Mainstream Fist 2-6 North Dubstep
Long Lake 0-1 Ringway
Bellamy 0-0 Gridlock East
Falston Town 4-1 Fischer
MATCHDAY 9
Sutcroft Athletic 1-2 Ballardine FC
Senway Town 0-1 Peregrine
Ox River United 2-1 Falston United
Strephonage 0-1 The Hanged Man
Mapleford 3-1 Gridlock Rovers
Gosforth Swans 2-0 Fenland Albion
Alliance Barossia 1-2 Kommissar
Downsparrow 0-1 Mainstream Fist
Lazuli Diamonds 1-1 Long Lake
North Dubstep 3-1 Bellamy
Ringway 0-2 Falston Town
Gridlock East 2-1 Fischer
MATCHDAY 10
Peregrine 4-1 Sutcroft Athletic
Falston United 1-1 Ballardine FC
The Hanged Man 1-0 Senway Town
Gridlock Rovers 0-2 Ox River United
Fenland Albion 0-0 Strephonage
Kommissar 0-1 Mapleford
Mainstream Fist 2-5 Gosforth Swans
Long Lake 1-0 Alliance Barossia
Bellamy 1-2 Downsparrow
Falston Town 0-1 Lazuli Diamonds
Fischer 1-1 North Dubstep
Gridlock East 1-1 Ringway
MATCHDAY 11
Sutcroft Athletic 0-2 Falston United
Peregrine 1-2 The Hanged Man
Ballardine FC 1-2 Gridlock Rovers
Senway Town 3-2 Fenland Albion
Ox River United 2-1 Kommissar
Strephonage 2-0 Mainstream Fist
Mapleford 1-1 Long Lake
Gosforth Swans 0-2 Bellamy
Alliance Barossia 0-3 Falston Town
Downsparrow 2-0 Fischer
Lazuli Diamonds 2-1 Gridlock East
North Dubstep 1-1 Ringway
MATCHDAY 12
The Hanged Man 0-1 Sutcroft Athletic
Gridlock Rovers 0-1 Falston United
Fenland Albion 3-2 Peregrine
Kommissar 1-0 Ballardine FC
Mainstream Fist 1-0 Senway Town
Long Lake 1-1 Ox River United
Bellamy 1-3 Strephonage
Falston Town 3-0 Mapleford
Fischer 2-0 Gosforth Swans
Gridlock East 0-0 Alliance Barossia
Ringway 3-1 Downsparrow
North Dubstep 2-0 Lazuli Diamonds
MATCHDAY 1
Harrington 7-1 Sleetwell Rangers
Gonen's Bridge 2-0 Grovebank
Tryst Athletic 1-0 Fully Sick XI
Norton Road 2-0 Capricopia Rangers
Ramsay 1-1 Courser
FC Seierstad 0-0 Gartside FC
Swag Hill Rovers 0-3 Stonesthrow Town
Boltcroft Thorns 2-1 Nay Town
Corinthians No Longer 1-1 Gridlock
Sirencall FC 0-1 Forge Carpenters
MATCHDAY 12
Corinthians No Longer 1-1 Harrington
Boltcroft Thorns 1-1 Sirencall FC
Swag Hill Rovers 2-1 Forge Carpenters
FC Seierstad 2-0 Gridlock
Ramsay 1-0 Nay Town
Norton Road 0-1 Stonesthrow Town
Tryst Athletic 3-0 Gartside FC
Gonen's Bridge 1-0 Courser
Sleetwell Rangers 0-1 Capricopia Rangers
Grovebank 0-0 Fully Sick XI
MATCHDAY 1
Sandrock 2-3 Lackerrun
West End 2-2 Corby Hubris
Rookwall 3-1 Rochford Pilgrims
Violence Tigers 1-3 Bodkin Road
The Travellers FC 4-1 Dubstep Rangers
Twelvetrees 0-1 Blaze
Markoni 3-1 Celebryant FC
Hartford Glade 4-1 Masculine Town
Brunyard FC 1-1 Stamper Road
Coral Bay 1-2 South Brill
MATCHDAY 12
Brunyard FC 2-0 Sandrock
Hartford Glade 4-1 Coral Bay
Markoni 2-1 South Brill
Twelvetrees 3-3 Stamper Road
The Travellers FC 1-2 Masculine Town
Violence Tigers 1-2 Celebryant FC
Rookwall 1-1 Blaze
West End 1-2 Dubstep Rangers
Lackerrun 1-4 Bodkin Road
Corby Hubris 0-4 Rochford Pilgrims

PREMIERSHIP
Pos Team                      P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Crisisbless 12 9 2 1 26 8 +18 29
2 Sabrefell Athletic 12 9 2 1 25 15 +10 29
3 Starling 12 6 4 2 25 12 +13 22
4 Bishop 12 6 3 3 15 12 +3 21
5 AFC Treason 12 6 2 4 23 18 +5 20
6 Chenoworth Harriers 12 6 2 4 20 21 -1 20
7 Coret Hawks 12 6 1 5 27 21 +6 19
8 Creed United 12 6 1 5 17 11 +6 19
9 Sabrefell Moths 12 4 5 3 25 20 +5 17
10 Vermillion Rage 12 5 2 5 16 12 +4 17
11 Violence Chariots 12 4 5 3 20 17 +3 17
12 Brookford Otters 12 5 2 5 20 22 -2 17
13 Raven River 12 4 4 4 14 15 -1 16
14 North Laithland 12 5 1 6 18 20 -2 16
15 AFC Serpentine 12 4 3 5 14 15 -1 15
16 Armstrong 12 4 3 5 14 18 -4 15
17 Cranequin Wanderers 12 4 1 7 21 24 -3 13
18 Newrook City 12 4 1 7 12 17 -5 13
19 Maximum Rovers 12 3 4 5 14 20 -6 13
20 Belgrave 12 4 1 7 10 22 -12 13
21 Brinemouth 12 3 3 6 12 13 -1 12
22 Parrhesia United 12 2 5 5 13 18 -5 11
23 Morningstar 12 2 4 6 15 27 -12 10
24 Corvette Maulers 12 1 3 8 14 32 -18 6

FIRST DIVISION
Pos Team                          P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Diamondqueen 12 9 3 0 25 4 +21 30
2 Southfell United 12 8 3 1 30 10 +20 27
3 Leichhardt 12 7 5 0 17 4 +13 26
4 Extreme Hills 12 6 4 2 16 8 +8 22
5 South Laithland 12 6 2 4 21 12 +9 20
6 Goodfeather FC 12 5 4 3 18 13 +5 19
7 Crisisbless United 12 6 1 5 15 14 +1 19
8 Cypher Town 12 4 5 3 14 11 +3 17
9 North Sabrefell 12 5 2 5 16 15 +1 17
10 Ritter Town 12 5 2 5 16 16 +0 17
11 Greygate 12 5 2 5 13 14 -1 17
12 Iron City 12 5 2 5 8 14 -6 17
13 Maximum City 12 4 4 4 11 12 -1 16
14 Chatswood 12 4 4 4 10 11 -1 16
15 Coret Rovers 12 5 1 6 15 18 -3 16
16 West Brinemouth 12 4 2 6 8 9 -1 14
17 Vermillion Wanderers 12 4 1 7 12 20 -8 13
18 Mantlegrove 12 2 6 4 13 13 +0 12
19 Cranequin City 12 2 6 4 10 15 -5 12
20 Hackett 12 3 3 6 13 20 -7 12
21 Sutcroft 12 2 4 6 12 21 -9 10
22 Martella Jazz 12 3 1 8 12 28 -16 10
23 East Laithland Harriers 12 2 3 7 11 25 -14 9
24 Sheridan 12 1 4 7 7 16 -9 7

SECOND DIVISION
Pos Team                        P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 AFC Shale 12 8 2 2 13 5 +8 26
2 Locksley 12 7 4 1 20 12 +8 25
3 The Strongest 12 8 0 4 30 19 +11 24
4 Iron United 12 8 0 4 19 9 +10 24
5 Rochford 12 7 3 2 21 12 +9 24
6 Riverkey 12 7 1 4 22 15 +7 22
7 Chenoworth Rovers 12 6 4 2 10 5 +5 22
8 South Parrhesia 12 6 3 3 16 13 +3 21
9 Pillars of Southfell 12 5 4 3 16 12 +4 19
10 Crossroads Town 12 5 4 3 15 12 +3 19
11 Rhagant Schadenfreude 12 6 0 6 11 12 -1 18
12 Kensey Town 12 4 5 3 23 17 +6 17
13 Dross Rovers 12 5 2 5 16 18 -2 17
14 Crisisbless Athletic 12 3 7 2 19 21 -2 16
15 Brookway Town 12 4 4 4 17 20 -3 16
16 Stonegrave 12 4 2 6 10 12 -2 14
17 West Hook 12 4 0 8 12 13 -1 12
18 Dartmouth Terriers 12 3 3 6 9 15 -6 12
19 Boleyn Town 12 3 3 6 7 14 -7 12
20 AFC Corvistone 12 2 5 5 12 17 -5 11
21 Brindleton 12 1 5 6 13 18 -5 8
22 Southriver 12 1 4 7 6 14 -8 7
23 Iberia Chenoworth 12 2 1 9 14 33 -19 7
24 Rushe United 12 0 4 8 13 26 -13 4

THIRD DIVISION
Pos Team                    P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 The Hanged Man 12 10 1 1 16 5 +11 31
2 Strephonage 12 9 1 2 18 7 +11 28
3 Falston Town 12 6 3 3 17 7 +10 21
4 Ox River United 12 5 5 2 16 12 +4 20
5 Gosforth Swans 12 6 2 4 17 14 +3 20
6 Kommissar 12 5 4 3 19 12 +7 19
7 Lazuli Diamonds 12 5 4 3 15 11 +4 19
8 Peregrine 12 5 3 4 22 17 +5 18
9 North Dubstep 12 5 3 4 18 13 +5 18
10 Gridlock Rovers 12 5 3 4 17 13 +4 18
11 Falston United 12 4 6 2 14 12 +2 18
12 Ballardine FC 12 5 3 4 14 14 +0 18
13 Long Lake 12 4 5 3 18 11 +7 17
14 Sutcroft Athletic 12 5 2 5 14 15 -1 17
15 Ringway 12 3 7 2 13 12 +1 16
16 Mapleford 12 4 4 4 14 17 -3 16
17 Fenland Albion 12 4 2 6 10 13 -3 14
18 Gridlock East 12 2 5 5 10 12 -2 11
19 Downsparrow 12 3 2 7 14 22 -8 11
20 Mainstream Fist 12 3 2 7 13 30 -17 11
21 Bellamy 12 1 5 6 11 21 -10 8
22 Alliance Barossia 12 1 4 7 8 15 -7 7
23 Senway Town 12 1 4 7 11 22 -11 7
24 Fischer 12 1 4 7 10 22 -12 7

CONFERENCE WEST
Pos Team                        P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Gonen's Bridge 12 8 3 1 24 7 +17 27
2 FC Seierstad 12 8 3 1 25 9 +16 27
3 Grovebank 12 6 3 3 14 9 +5 21
4 Fully Sick XI 12 5 4 3 14 7 +7 19
5 Sleetwell Rangers 12 5 4 3 16 18 -2 19
6 Swag Hill Rovers 12 6 1 5 21 26 -5 19
7 Harrington 12 4 6 2 18 9 +9 18
8 Corinthians No Longer 12 5 3 4 14 15 -1 18
9 Capricopia Rangers 12 5 3 4 21 24 -3 18
10 Sirencall FC 12 3 6 3 15 12 +3 15
11 Ramsay 12 4 3 5 16 15 +1 15
12 Boltcroft Thorns 12 3 5 4 12 14 -2 14
13 Stonesthrow Town 12 3 5 4 11 14 -3 14
14 Forge Carpenters 12 4 2 6 9 12 -3 14
15 Gridlock 12 3 5 4 8 13 -5 14
16 Tryst Athletic 12 4 2 6 9 16 -7 14
17 Norton Road 12 4 1 7 13 17 -4 13
18 Nay Town 12 3 1 8 11 21 -10 10
19 Courser 12 1 6 5 10 13 -3 9
20 Gartside FC 12 1 4 7 9 19 -10 7

CONFERENCE WEST
Pos Team                    P  W  D  L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Rochford Pilgrims 12 9 1 2 25 9 +16 28
2 Stamper Road 12 8 3 1 25 11 +14 27
3 Bodkin Road 12 7 4 1 28 11 +17 25
4 Masculine Town 12 7 2 3 23 15 +8 23
5 Blaze 12 6 5 1 11 8 +3 23
6 Hartford Glade 12 7 1 4 34 15 +19 22
7 Dubstep Rangers 12 6 3 3 15 12 +3 21
8 Brunyard FC 12 5 5 2 18 14 +4 20
9 Rookwall 12 5 4 3 13 12 +1 19
10 Lackerrun 12 5 2 5 21 24 -3 17
11 South Brill 12 4 3 5 11 16 -5 15
12 Markoni 12 4 3 5 16 24 -8 15
13 Violence Tigers 12 4 2 6 16 17 -1 14
14 Twelvetrees 12 3 3 6 11 16 -5 12
15 The Travellers FC 12 3 2 7 17 21 -4 11
16 Coral Bay 12 2 4 6 14 24 -10 10
17 Celebryant FC 12 2 3 7 10 26 -16 9
18 Sandrock 12 2 2 8 7 15 -8 8
19 West End 12 1 3 8 10 20 -10 6
20 Corby Hubris 12 1 3 8 10 25 -15 6
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Nephara
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Founded: Jun 06, 2014
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Nephara » Sat Jun 03, 2017 2:13 pm

Crisisbless 1-2 Creed United
Newrook City 1-0 Brookford Otters
Parrhesia United 1-0 Starling
Bishop 1-2 Coret Hawks
Chenoworth Harriers 1-1 Violence Chariots
Corvette Maulers 2-1 Vermillion Rage
AFC Serpentine 1-1 AFC Treason
Cranequin Wanderers 0-2 Sabrefell Moths
Raven River 1-4 Sabrefell Athletic
Armstrong 0-1 North Laithland
Morningstar 3-0 Maximum Rovers
Belgrave 0-2 Brinemouth

You know you’re in a rut when you’re a quarter of the way into the season and people are calling your match a six-pointer. Still, Morningstar step up admirably to the plate, and the Stars pulverise the Rovers. Niko Boldman’s inexplicably not scored all season, and has seemed low on confidence lately - but he pounces on a slip from Conan Lineker and smashed the ball past Lindberg in the Rovers’ goal. Aziz Senturk hit a post three minutes later - perhaps a sliding doors moment, as Petrosian and Woodwind’s strikes from outside the box secure a thumping victory. Brinemouth are dominated by Belgrave for the first half, and a series of scrambling saves courtesy of Vintner is all that stops them from defeat - but a jammy goal on the counter from Scafidis gives them hope. In the second half, they come out… and cruise, dominating possession, and this time it’s Fairweather making all the saves before Kyron Bartley secures the day for the Dockers. The Saints also scramble away from danger, Dragana again making the difference in a cagey match against Starling, but Darren Koufax plays a starring role and makes a staggering eleven saves. “We fucking robbed them,” Olaf Womack brags to the press after the fact - and he even injured Malachi Gallagher to contribute to the win.

Brookford Otters 1-2 Crisisbless
Starling 0-0 Creed United
Coret Hawks 1-2 Newrook City
Violence Chariots 7-1 Parrhesia United
Vermillion Rage 3-2 Bishop
AFC Treason 2-1 Chenoworth Harriers
Sabrefell Moths 5-2 Corvette Maulers
Sabrefell Athletic 4-2 AFC Serpentine
North Laithland 0-2 Cranequin Wanderers
Maximum Rovers 1-1 Raven River
Brinemouth 4-1 Armstrong
Belgrave 2-0 Morningstar

Oh, Jesus. Someone poked the bear, and the bear wants to play at the business end of the league again. Armstrong, whose memorable 1-0 away win over Brinemouth was their first ever Premiership match, don’t get third time lucky. It takes a stroke of luck for the Dockers to put their noses in front after half an hour of 68% possession and sustained pressure, and it comes in the form of Silkman’s shot taking a heavy deflection off Martyn to beat Holstad. Holstad should probably have gone on to save Roenoujya’s shot at his near post but was helpless as Scafidis and Winter turned the screw, and Kouroglou’s consolation was scant… consolation. Could be worse, though! You could, say, be the Saints. Koufax, the hero last match, isn’t exactly blameless, but really it’s the defence that falls apart in front of him in a 7-1 evisceration by Machairas-inspired Violence. 10-man Coret look to be holding out under pressure from a determined Newrook side, but in the 97th minute young gun Alessa Marconi rifles home her first goal of the season. There’s just one issue - there were only to be five minutes of extra time. Weixelbraun protested firmly, but referee Annelise Grey was blunt post-match; “Maybe you shouldn’t’ve cunted about with the time-wasting substitutes, then.” The Rooks won’t complain - it’s their third straight win.

Crisisbless 1-2 Millennium City Eagles
Mliona-Lpaka 2-1 AFC Treason
Sabrefell Moths 1-3 Ulsa
Starling 2-0 Centralis Heart

A disappointing week on the whole, but at least Starling can salvage some pride as Elsa Kaelin and Estrella Hawke guide the way to a comfortable 2-0 win. But Crisisbless and Treason are edged out to defeat, while the Moths suffer a worse fate - they are very much second-best as Adnan Szalai returns to his hometown, and despite a consolation from Meier they get crashed against the rocks. A home defeat they can’t really afford, in what is very much a Group of Death.

Parrhesia United 0-1 AC Izotz Zubia
Sabrefell Athletic 1-1 New Llama Stars

The Saints look uncharacteristically diffident in the first half and are given the runaround by Zozi, and it’s largely due to Olaf Womack repeatedly knocking down Labourious Hawk that keeps the score down - even so, Tanya Bottlegreen’s impressive cross for Ingbor Audbjornsson to head home puts them ahead. They at least run about a bit in the second half after a triple-substitution, and Acquafresca almost lets Atherton Telfair’s header squirrel underneath him and into the next, but Zozi rarely look threatened by their hosts. It’s been a disastrous campaign for Parrhesia thus far. A third successive draw for Sabrefell Athletic jeopardises their chances of progression.

Sabrefell Athletic 4-2 CS Saint-Remy

Daniel Brunet rests a few names against Saint-Remy and it looks decidedly bad when they head into the break 2-1 down. He brings on the seasoned Lucassen and Coltrane to try and switch things up in the second half but to their credit it’s the young lads who undo their own mess - Morten Crestwell’s headed brace taking back the lead before Valerie Webber smashes in a shot off the inside of the crossbar.

Crisisbless 1-0 Starling
Brookford Otters 0-0 Coret Hawks
Creed United 5-4 Violence Chariots
Newrook City 1-1 Vermillion Rage
Parrhesia United 2-1 AFC Treason
Bishop 0-5 Sabrefell Moths
Chenoworth Harriers 2-0 Sabrefell Athletic
Corvette Maulers 4-3 North Laithland
AFC Serpentine 0-1 Maximum Rovers
Cranequin Wanderers 1-3 Brinemouth
Raven River 0-1 Belgrave
Armstrong 1-4 Morningstar

Well, the Saints might be humiliating Nephara’s good name abroad, but at least domestically they can get the job done. It doesn’t start well, mind. Spike Turnbull’s given the 26-year old centre-half Lazlo Kearney the nod over Beckett after a few dodgy performances, and Kearney celebrates his promotion by passing straight to Igrene Cantor within three minutes, who thumps it straight into the top corner. But Dragana weaves her magic over Westmead, dominant throughout the match, and it’s her cutback that sets up Rademacher to rifle home her equaliser, and the Saints continue to hold the edge in a finely-balanced match. Still, there’s a sense of destiny to the winner - Rademacher’s injury-time corner, flicked on by Brun to the substitute Telfair, who crashes home a diving header on his birthday! It proves, after one final save from Koufax from the enterprising Vesper, the winner. Telfair’s former club, North Laithland, can only rue such ability to see matches out - up 3-1 in the 80th minute to the bottom-feeding Maulers, Ylissa Hatherton comes off the bench and changes everything. Julian Parable also comes on and changes everything, but less positively, since he’s at fault for two of the goals. The game ends 4-3 to Corvette, and while Dani Harper gets the goals, Hatherton gets the plaudits. Bishop are pulverised by the Moths. There’s nothing else to say, not while Creed vs. Violence hasn’t been mentioned - a swinging end-to-end affair that leaves both sides punch-drunk. Siorrha’Asione scores twice! And then gets sent off with the Chariots ahead 4-2, and Creed capitalise in the final half-hour of the game, Catherine Locklear animated on the touchline as goals from Magellan, Mithradates and Braham and some excellent saves from Russ Beresford pull them over the line.

Mantlegrove 2-1 Rochford
Ballardine FC 1-1 Violence Tigers (1-1 AET, 6-5 PKs)
Kommissar 1-2 Locksley
Markoni 0-2 Rookwall
Chatswood 0-0 Long Lake (0-0 AET, 3-2 PKs)
AFC Corvistone 3-0 Bodkin Road
Grovebank 0-1 Southriver
The Hanged Man 0-2 Greygate
Chenoworth Rovers 2-0 Sutcroft
Gridlock Rovers 1-2 Rushe United
Leichhardt 3-1 Brookway Town
Extreme Hills 3-1 Coret Rovers
Courser 0-2 Maximum City
Fenland Albion 0-2 Bellamy
South Laithland 8-0 Iberia Chenoworth
Lackerrun 0-2 West Hook
North Sabrefell 4-0 Kensey Town
Gosmouth Swans 2-2 East Laithland Harriers (3-2 AET)
Cranequin City 1-1 The Strongest (2-1 AET)
Sleetwell Rangers 0-5 Boleyn Town
Alliance Barossia 2-3 Dartmouth Terriers
Iron United 0-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Hackett 1-2 Mapleford
Gridlock East 3-0 Stamper Road
Boltcroft Thorns 0-5 Crisisbless United
Ringway 3-0 Harrington
Riverkey 4-1 Stonegrave
Gridlock 1-4 Ritter Town
Downsparrow 2-0 Rochford Pilgrims
West Brinemouth 5-0 Sandrock
Crossroads Town 0-0 Fischer (1-2 AET)
Martella Jazz 0-3 Cypher Town
South Parrhesia 1-1 Iron City (1-1 AET, 3-0 PKs)
Pillars of Southfell 3-0 Corby Hubris
Diamondqueen 1-1 AFC Shale (1-1 AET, 1-3 PKs)
Goodfeather FC 0-3 Sheridan
Brindleton 1-1 Lazuli Diamonds (1-1 AET, 1-3 PKs)
Vermillion Wanderers 3-2 North Dubstep
Dross Rovers 0-0 Mainstream Fist (1-0 AET)
Crisisbless Athletic 1-0 Southfell United

It’s the Second Round, and that means it’s time to look at Iberia Chenoworth, they of the 13-0 defeat. And, oh, they did not disappoint this time around! Lyn Hartmann’s Southrons pulverise them, and young midfielder Andre Havranek finally scores his first goals for his new club! Three of them. At once. In general, the second tier enjoys a few big wins at this stage of the tournament - Crisisbless United beat Boltcroft 5-0, West Brinemouth smash Sandrock 5-0, North Sabrefell spatter Kensey 4-0… et cetera. Iron City do not add their names to that list. Lara Winter put out her strongest team, stated that a Cup charge was her aim, and yet they couldn’t break a stubborn South Parrhesia and then Wilhelm, Penterzen and Mills all missed their penalties. Not even saved. Missed. Sheridan drag themselves away from their current relegation struggle to break down a distracted, diffident and disinterested Goodfeather 3-0, even resting a fair few players. It’s the last straw for Quakers’ manager and former Nephara international Sebastian Seward, who has very clearly lost his dressing room, and he’s axed. Martella pick effectively a youth side and are rightfully creamed by Cypher for it, with Eagles manager Miriam Aragon furious - “It’s just sheer disrespect towards the competition, and they should be ashamed. I’m disappointed we didn’t reach double digits!” Chatswood make unexpectedly heavy weather of dealing with mediocre fourth-tier Long Lake, ultimately reliant on penalties to squeeze through. In terms of Conference sides, only one survives - Rookwall got an away draw at fellow Conference side Markoni, beat them handily 2-0 and are hoping for the jackpot of a really big side next round.

CS Saint-Remy 0-0 Sabrefell Athletic
Sabrefell Athletic win 4-2 on aggregate.

Brunet rotates heavily and his side struggle to break down a determined, resilient CS. Gareth Corvine does get the ball in the net late on… just, he used his hand to do so. It’s rightfully called off. No matter, though, Athletic get the result they need.

Coret Hawks 2-2 Crisisbless
Violence Chariots 2-1 Starling
Vermillion Rage 1-0 Brookford Otters
AFC Treason 1-1 Creed United
Sabrefell Moths 2-1 Newrook City
Sabrefell Athletic 3-1 Parrhesia United
North Laithland 0-1 Bishop
Maximum Rovers 0-1 Chenoworth Harriers
Brinemouth 4-4 Corvette Maulers
Belgrave 1-2 AFC Serpentine
Morningstar 2-0 Cranequin Wanderers
Armstrong 1-1 Raven River

Siorrha’Asione doesn’t report for training between last match and this, but he does show up at the stadium, clearly drunk, in around the thirty-fifth minute. He hurdled a fence, drunkenly staggers over to the bench, and when assistant manager Gonzalo Mordaz goes to corral him away from the field, Siorrha’Asione throws up on him. Rossizzo refuses to talk about it post-match. “We beat Starling 2-1, player of the match performance from Machairas who all of you thought wasn’t up to it, and you want to talk about someone who didn’t make the squad?” he complains to the press. Creed are actually competing at the sharp end this season, and they show what they’re at with an impressive 1-1 away draw at Treason. Ulysses Mithradates, who has worked his way into the starting lineup ahead of Farrier, sets up Conan McMillan to open the scoring and Maaksemstad hits a post. Treason dominate most of the rest of the match, but thanks to a strong performance by Beresford and Melinda Rubio in particular, only score the once - Igrene Cantor from a corner. Directly. Beresford will be furious with himself for that, but hey, he made seven other saves. Belgrave pepper Andreas Swoboda’s goal with a staggering twenty-four shots! They get… one goal to show for it, and even that’s just Galloway’s penalty after Dimitrius runs into Riesling and falls over. Serpentine, by contrast, have four shots and 38% possession, and Kovalski sent off for the last 18 minutes… and yet Frantzisko Apexarena and Andrej Reuter both score clinically. Belgrave have a real problem with goals from open play, and it’s seriously costing them. Brinemouth and Corvette have a History with one another, and another chapter is written today. Hatherton starts this time and is outstanding yet again for the Maulers, but Osman Candelo almost single-handedly drags Brinemouth into contention. Four times Corvette take the lead - four times the Dockers equalise. It’s a frustrating season so far for Brinemouth without a doubt, but, hey, at least it’s exciting!

Millennium City Eagles 0-3 Crisisbless
AFC Treason 3-0 Mliona-Lpaka
Ulsa 1-1 Sabrefell Moths
Centralis Heart 4-1 Starling

A polarising set of fixtures. Crisisbless and Treason are flying, simply far better sides on the day as each clinches a 3-0 victory. Tarashaj in particular is outstanding for the Stags, earning all the plaudits - he’s been one of the best players in the league this season, and really seems to be blossoming into his potential. Ulsa outplays the Moths, it has to be said, but Robert Griffin, back on home soil, is outstanding between the posts. It takes until the 76th minute for a goal as the antique Jakob Lindisfarne comes off the bench to strike home, but Federico Serra volleys home a spectacular equaliser on the cusp of the 90th minute to ensure a good result for Gerhard Thunder’s lads. By contrast, Starling are pumped by Centralis, and the less said about it the better.

AC Izotz Zubia 1-0 Parrhesia United
New Llama Stars 1-0 Sabrefell Athletic

How strange. The Premiership has seemingly declared a non-aggression pact on the Globe Cup this season.

Crisisbless 2-0 Violence Chariots
Coret Hawks 0-1 Vermillion Rage
Starling 0-2 AFC Treason
Brookford Otters 1-1 Sabrefell Moths
Creed United 2-1 Sabrefell Athletic
Newrook City 1-0 North Laithland
Parrhesia United 1-3 Maximum Rovers
Bishop 2-1 Brinemouth
Chenoworth Harriers 3-1 Belgrave
Corvette Maulers 2-1 Morningstar
AFC Serpentine 5-2 Armstrong
Cranequin Wanderers 2-0 Raven River

After a shaky start, Airik Ruhl pulls himself into Iron Boot contention with a well-taken brace against a typically flaky Belgrave. It’s not without controversy; Quin Markranstadt is overheard by a microphone exhorting at his fellow defenders “not to let that fucking wife-beater take the match ball.” Feist shoves him a bit, but with Mirzayev’s hand on Ruhl’s shoulder, the chequered Cosumarite doesn’t retaliate - except by hitting a post in the dying stages of the game. “He’s settled brilliantly,” manager Brosque reports after the game. “Hasn’t been a hint of trouble, none of the squad’s got a word to say against him.” Starling are resoundingly outplayed by Treason - Malachi Gallagher goes missing against his former team and is pulled off after fifty minutes, Catherine Gryphon picks up a booking within five minutes and can’t play fair against Tarashaj, and Roddy Fraser, as always, is in the right place at the right time to thump home a couple of tap-ins. A disappointing result in what is proving a disappointing season for the Passerines. Corvette continue to pull themselves away from trouble with a late winner over Morningstar, a rather weak shot from breakout star Ylissa Hatherton trickling weakly through Ceferin’s arms. Lineker headbutts the dugout walls. Brinemouth, meanwhile, get picked off expertly by Bishop on the counterattack, and Creed United underline their Champions’ Cup credentials with a muscular, ugly win over Sabrefell Athletic - former Athletic winger Braham, who has been excellent this season, scoring a brace.

Vermillion Rage 0-1 Crisisbless
AFC Treason 1-0 Violence Chariots
Sabrefell Moths 2-1 Coret Hawks
Sabrefell Athletic 3-1 Starling
North Laithland 0-2 Brookford Otters
Maximum Rovers 0-2 Creed United
Brinemouth 4-0 Newrook City
Belgrave 0-1 Parrhesia United
Morningstar 0-1 Bishop
Armstrong 0-1 Chenoworth Harriers
Raven River 6-1 Corvette Maulers
Cranequin Wanderers 1-1 AFC Serpentine

Despite five straightforward 1-0 wins (including Parrhesia over the still-toothless Belgrave), it’s an interesting week. After a promising start, Starling are imploding - they have two points from six matches, and it’s little coincidence that it’s coincided with Gallagher’s MCL injury (thanks, Olaf Womack!). It doesn’t help that Athletic are really good on the day, just that little bit faster to every ball and that bit more clinical. Brinemouth finally roar back into gear against an unsuspecting Newrook City. Frew shakes up his squad, introducing Drinkwater, Exarchopolous and Silkemark, and it pays dividends - Anghelescu drops a cross for Drinkwater to tap home in the second minute and it just doesn’t stop, the Dockers both relentless and, finally clinical. Alan Bothroyd, Newrook’s top (and only consistent) goalscorer, manages all of four touches in the 90 minutes. River have had a quietly unassuming season thus far, but they choose a good moment to roar to life - Cheney Bittencourt’s side crush Corvette, with Maxine Lynwood scoring a hat-trick from an essentially stationary position. Their midfield has been a shining light, and Naumoff and Petkovic in particular are tipped for possible callups - Petkovic manages a brace and young Isabella Cassadore a goal of her own, and even Hatherton looks off the pace for the Maulers.

RGS Athletic 3-2 Crisisbless
AFC Treason 1-2 Excelsior Slogda
Sabrefell Moths 1-1 1830 Cathair
Cornellians 4-1 Starling

A very poor week for Nepharim Champions’ Cup ambitions. Crisisbless’ star-studded midfield is stymied largely by Glen Soria, and in a late flurry of goals they come out second-best. Treason are edged out at home by Excelsior, and a poorly-timed Tarashaj red card in the 70th minute may have further repercussions. The Moths stand firm against 1830 but a win would really have helped them out - Alpha Gandhi’s header is cancelled out by Aaliyah Johnson, and while the home crowd think they’ve won the game late on it turns out that Meier, tapping home Haines’ cross at the far post, was offside. Starling are dumped unceremoniously out of the group after yet another embarrassing capitulation. Teenage Pasargan midfielder Christian Berg is drafted in by the Cornellians and is nominated man of the match, while Jade Irwin by his side runs the show - in fact, between Irwin, Vlahos, Triffid Ramsey (daughter of Gethin) and Reinhard Shale, there’s almost as strong a Nepharim connection on the pitch for them as the Passerines themselves can manage.

Parrhesia United 1-1 Lisda Lokado Goji Salamjĭ
Madorre de Fuego 1-2 Sabrefell Athletic

Pragmatically, Spike Turnbull gives up on the Globe Cup and submits a second-string to her match - and that’s how Parrhesia United get their first point of the campaign, with Kirsten Howlett’s first professional goal smashed in at the near post. Athletic manage their first win, though it’s a tight-run thing - Oscar Coltrane with a first-half brace and Lind Pressinger with a number of impressive saves at the other end. Might the Reds somehow manage to squeeze through the group despite everything?

Crisisbless 3-2 AFC Treason
Vermillion Rage 0-1 Sabrefell Moths
Violence Chariots 1-5 Sabrefell Athletic
Coret Hawks 1-2 North Laithland
Starling 2-2 Maximum Rovers
Brookford Otters 3-0 Brinemouth
Creed United 1-1 Belgrave
Newrook City 1-0 Morningstar
Parrhesia United 2-1 Armstrong
Bishop 0-1 Raven River
Chenoworth Harriers 3-1 Cranequin Wanderers
Corvette Maulers 1-1 AFC Serpentine

So much for Brinemouth’s resurgence. Brookford have one of their best players, Danira Plibersek, suspended… and it doesn’t matter, since Brigid Kestrel slots straight in and orchestrates everything, casting aside the ravages of time. The 33-year old chalks up assists for both wingers and a diving header from Nikita Loeher secures a thumping 3-0 win, Caravella barely tested at the other end. The Chariots are hurtling towards danger as they’re annihilated by the Reds, their fierce rivals. Brigitte Coppinger lends credence to her claim to replace Siorrha’Asione with a well-taken 11th-minute goal, but Athletic responds with five. Vermillion and the Moths are meant to have a big 7-7 goalfest. They don’t. Granted, this is largely due to the form of the two goalkeepers, with Clement and Griffin both having excellent seasons, and Federico Serra (another fantastic signing) rifles home the only goal of the game on the stroke of half-time. In the real big match this week, Crisisbless square up to Treason, and the two of them go at one another, punch for punch. At least, that’s how it should go - former Crisisbless striker Cantor opens the scores with a typically thunderous drive, Treason youth player Cautcher retaliates with a header, Woodspur lashes home from the wing, Swan hits home a direct free-kick, Roddy Fraser earns a penalty… and skies it, looking utterly distraught. And when Urso plays in an unmarked Jevdjevic-Hadsic, who calmly rifles the ball into the roof of the net past a despairing Fletcher, the Stags have no answer. The Heelers win, 3-2.

Raven River 1-0 Chenoworth Harriers
Riverkey 1-1 Pillars of Southfell (1-2 AET)
South Parrhesia 2-1 South Laithland
Sheridan 2-0 West Hook
Cypher Town 0-1 Brookford Otters
Sabrefell Athletic 1-4 Corvette Maulers
Cranequin Wanderers 2-0 Violence Chariots
North Laithland 3-1 Chenoworth Rovers
Locksley 0-3 Bishop
Belgrave 0-1 Parrhesia United
Rookwall 0-1 Newrook City
Dartmouth Terriers 2-1 Southriver
Gosmouth Swans 0-2 Armstrong
Brinemouth 3-1 Ballardine FC
Cranequin City 1-0 Mantlegrove
Vermillion Wanderers 4-0 Bellamy
AFC Shale 3-3 Fischer (3-4 AET)
Ritter Town 4-4 AFC Corvistone (4-5 AET)
Creed United 4-0 West Brinemouth
North Sabrefell 0-2 Starling
Crisisbless 1-2 Coret Hawks
Boleyn Town 0-2 Maximum Rovers
Vermillion Rage 2-1 Leichhardt
Lazuli Diamonds 2-0 Gridlock East
Rushe United 0-3 Greygate
Mapleford 0-4 AFC Serpentine
Downsparrow 3-2 Dross Rovers
Ringway 0-3 AFC Treason
Extreme Hills 5-1 Chatswood
Crisisbless United 0-0 Crisisbless Athletic (1-1 AET, 2-3 PKs)
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-1 Morningstar
Sabrefell Moths 0-1 Maximum City

Enter the Premiership. Amidst a series of routine wins, River edge out the Harriers thanks in large part to third-choice goalkeeper Althea Taliadoros’ flying saves, Corvette give a complacent Athletic a proper thumping, 4-1 away, Parrhesia manage a second away 1-0 win over Belgrave in three matches, Coret edge Crisisbless, and the only Premiership side to fall to lower-league opposition is the Moths, who bounce off a staid-but-resilient Maximum City, one that fights back through Kate Shaw’s penalty and holds grimly onto the result. Credit to Rookwall, the last Conference side - given a home draw against local Premiership rivals Newrook, they park the bus with bloody-minded determination and almost scrape a result, hitting a post late on. Sadly for romance, Maladict Farrell’s 23rd-minute strike sets up Newrook for their victory, but it’s still a great moment for Rookwall and a fair influx of cash. There’s another derby, too - a Crisisbless one, specifically, with United playing Athletic. It’s a breathless affair throughout the ninety minutes and a distinctly weary one in extra time, Iskandrian international Tanith Starbuck striking for Athletic and veteran winger Paula Morgan for United as both take advantage of massive gaps in both defences. The weariness shows in the penalty shootout, as well, and it’s ultimately smaller Athletic who triumph. Chatswood follow up an unconvincing Cup performance with a downright godawful one as Extreme Hills cream them 5-1, Dexter Vorbeck notching up four of his own as Sigrun Barota’s blistering runs down the left highlight why Chatswood probably need to invest in a rightback. Draw-loving Corvistone are somehow languishing in the bottom half of the third tier and it’s fair to say that their manager, former Project +90 head coach Lukas Pallister, is on his last legs. But at least he’ll be bowing out with style - his side, clearly instructed to just go toe-to-toe with Ritter Town come what may, battle their way to 4-4 in 90 minutes. Discovery Carrera has a goal chalked off for a wrongful offside in the 92nd minute and just two minutes later Jack Brier comes up with the Crows’ winner. “The NFA got the result they wanted!” an incensed Paige Hildebrand vents to the press afterwards, and is fined for it.

Sabrefell Moths 1-0 Crisisbless
Sabrefell Athletic 5-1 AFC Treason
North Laithland 1-1 Vermillion Rage
Maximum Rovers 4-2 Violence Chariots
Brinemouth 4-0 Coret Hawks
Belgrave 0-2 Starling
Morningstar 2-0 Brookford Otters
Armstrong 3-1 Creed United
Raven River 0-1 Newrook City
Cranequin Wanderers 2-1 Parrhesia United
AFC Serpentine 0-1 Bishop
Corvette Maulers 3-0 Chenoworth Harriers

Big news needs to be worked up to - just keep the readership in suspense for a bit. Besides, there’s a lot to talk about this week. Brinemouth are abruptly back in Jekyll mode, utterly dominating a listless and slumping Coret side to the tune of a 4-0 win with Jess Silkman recovering her place in the starting lineup and finally looking back to her electrifying best. Creed’s string of great results is brought low by Armstrong, Adnan Nikolajsen continuing his outsanding form and spurring them on to a 3-1 win. The Harriers’ run of five straight wins crashes to a halt as Corvette decide that they have other ideas. Crowe and Bekkwaters are renowned as Globe Cup level fullbacks, but they’re given the runaround by Djuric and Ankergren tonight, while Ruhl barely gets a sniff of the ball all match - and when he does, Lukas Sparr is equal to it. Catheline Harper continues to desperately shuffle her cards for answers, but the Rovers are saved against the stalling Chariots by Aziz Senturk flickering back into form, notching up a goal and three assists in a vital 4-2 victory. Sabrefell Moths play yet another oddly cagey game against Crisisbless, as Thunder injects 35-year old captain Kirsten Cliving into midfield, switches formation to 4-1-4-1, frustrates Crisisbless with intense man-marking and eventually scores the winner thanks to Cardinal Belgrave, on the counterattack. But enough stalling - the real big story here is Sabrefell Athletic 5, AFC Treason 1. It’s not even that Treason were bad (though they weren’t great) - Athletic just hit another level. The 3-0 in preseason was no fluke. Athletic look full of menace this season. Now, if only they could transplant some of that menace to international competition...

Crisisbless 3-2 FC Capri
Sonoma Center Panthers 1-2 AFC Treason
Sport Wios 0-0 Sabrefell Moths
Starling 3-2 Avenida Leal

Third on the table but with their destiny in their own hands in a tight group, Crisisbless slip past RGS on the table and Capri on the night to finish second. Treason secure top spot with a cagey victory over Sonoma. The Moths endure a torrid day bouncing off Sport Wios’ defence, and as Cathair hold on for a point against Ulsa they slip to third in the group, pipped by 1830 on head-to-head away goals. Yeah, that kind of margin (though Cathair’s goal difference was better, in any case). Out of contention to promote, Lisa Amos still puts out a strong team against Avenida and goals from Armstrong and Elsa Kaelin in the last ten minutes secures them a vital victory. Is it enough to at least manage a Globe Cup berth? No, because Centralis beat Cornellians to clinch third and consign the Passerines to the foot of the table.

Handon United 4-0 Parrhesia United
Sabrefell Athletic 2-1 Yuba United

Group B’s been sorted well before time, and Handon celebrates their progression by pulverising the Saints in front of a joyous home crowd. Despite three points from their first four matches, Athletic seize victory from the jaws of defeat - Linden Lucassen comes off the bench in the 74th minute with his side trailing 1-0, he winds up with a brace, the hero of the (east side of the) city for a day. Had he not tried a scorpion kick where perhaps a simple header would’ve sufficed, he might well have had a hat-trick, but it was injury time by then and he could be forgiven for showboating.

Directus 4-2 Sabrefell Athletic

But Athletic’s strong form crashes to a halt when they have the misfortune of being drawn against Directus. The Euran Cup champions have an outstanding defensive unit, but this match is all about the attack - specifically, all about Maas Fox turning back the wheel of time to put in one of the performances of his life. Granted, the CWC Second Round isn’t the most glamourous stage for it, but there it is, and Athletic are soundly put to the sword.

Crisisbless 3-0 Sabrefell Athletic
Sabrefell Moths 4-1 North Laithland
AFC Treason 1-0 Maximum Rovers
Vermillion Rage 3-1 Brinemouth
Violence Chariots 1-1 Belgrave
Coret Hawks 2-1 Morningstar
Starling 2-2 Armstrong
Brookford Otters 4-1 Raven River
Creed United 3-0 Cranequin Wanderers
Newrook City 2-2 AFC Serpentine
Parrhesia United 4-1 Corvette Maulers
Bishop 1-3 Chenoworth Harriers

Athletic might have taken a lesson or two from how the Moths compromised their attacking ideals to shut Crisisbless down. They tried to play their own game, and, well, lost the midfield battle. Lind Pressinger’s goal was constantly peppered with shots from midfield and as good as he is, a few got through - Swan, Jevdjevic-Hadsic and the substitute Sundu all getting on the scoresheet. 3-0 the final score, and Crisisbless take back the top of the table from Athletic. Violence and Belgrave match one another to a 1-1 draw in which both sides are spectacularly crap at finishing, the most frustrating match for a neutral of the entire season. There’s another grievance in Starling’s frustrating season as in injury time, Armstrong have everyone up for a corner at 2-1 down. Jess Hearn hits it in, Hargrave catches it but fumbles it when opposing goalkeeper Mako Holstad smashes into him and the two fall like a collapsing tree, and the opportunistic substitute Karen Bruntwood is quicker than anyone to bundle it over the line for the equaliser. Serpentine are having a thoroughly uneventful season thus far, but a match against Newrook’s a good chance to give 18-year old Ishtar Fanaiyan, an Iskandrian refugee, her first league start on the right. She gets… two assists, hits a post and shows her passion with a caution for scything down Raquel Woods when she gets ideas about attacking. One to watch, perhaps...

AFC Treason 1-1 Hussards

What the hell. It’s the first ever CdC match for a Nepharim side, they’re handed a dream draw for an inaugural thumping against some Askari minnows and yet in the sixth minute, Emeraude Tanner plays Soren Kvist (formerly of Char Sara, and a player considered of marquee status in the fledgling Legaskari) past Westmead, and Kvist crosses to the far post where teenage Eastfielder Faiza Huyton is waiting to tap it home. They cling grimly onto that goal for the rest of the game, Maria Kovacic outstanding between the posts, and it falls to Saskia Kantaroff to curl home a beautiful goal from just outside the box. Try though they might, however, the Stags can’t add to it. A disappointment.

Sabrefell Athletic 1-1 Directus
Directus win 5-3 on aggregate.

Try though the Reds might, when Ethan Cook swings in a cross that Pedrinho almost casually flicks home, the match is a formality. Zdenek Moravec quietly reminds the world he exists when he comes off the bench to force home Ferryman’s corner late on, but Directus are simply the better side, and will progress as one of the favourites to win the tournament outright.

North Laithland 3-0 Crisisbless
Maximum Rovers 1-2 Sabrefell Athletic
Brinemouth 2-0 Sabrefell Moths
Belgrave 1-3 AFC Treason
Morningstar 1-0 Vermillion Rage
Armstrong 6-1 Violence Chariots
Raven River 1-0 Coret Hawks
Cranequin Wanderers 2-3 Starling
AFC Serpentine 1-2 Brookford Otters
Corvette Maulers 0-2 Creed United
Chenoworth Harriers 1-1 Newrook City
Bishop 0-0 Parrhesia United

A stunning week of fixtures. One point from the Chariots’ last five games had dumped them firmly into a relegation scrap, so Armstrong really was a must-win. It was deemed important enough to bring Stiin Siorrha’Asione back from career death. There’s just one issue - nobody on his team actually wants to pass to him, and he’s quietly shuffled off at half-time. They do score once, through Roisin Carroll, but Armstrong somehow score six times in return. Armstrong! That’s not something they do! Crisisbless suffer defeat and humiliation at the hands of North Laithland, of all sides, as Rasunda Vanderlei has the best game of her short career thus far and Gazzincha somehow gets free enough to orchestrate proceedings, with Tsikitsiris a threat down the left all game. 3-0’s the final score, somehow, and Athletic retake the top of the table with a rough 2-1 win over the Rovers. Brinemouth reclaim some of their own pride with a convincing 2-0 win over the Moths, and look belatedly to be sparking into life.

Hussards 0-4 AFC Treason
AFC Treason win 5-1 on aggregate.

That’s more like it, then. Treason thump the Hussards 4-0 away with a half-rotated squad, as Roddy Fraser shows the rest of the squad how it’s done. Servet Misidjan is imperious yet again in the centre of the park, and 18-year old goalkeeper Sigurd Rustwyth makes a couple of impressive saves, but it’s never in doubt.

Crisisbless 2-1 Maximum Rovers
North Laithland 0-1 Brinemouth
Sabrefell Athletic 5-0 Belgrave
Sabrefell Moths 0-2 Morningstar
AFC Treason 1-0 Armstrong
Vermillion Rage 0-2 Raven River
Violence Chariots 1-2 Cranequin Wanderers
Coret Hawks 1-2 AFC Serpentine
Starling 1-1 Corvette Maulers
Brookford Otters 2-2 Chenoworth Harriers
Creed United 1-0 Bishop
Newrook City 0-2 Parrhesia United

The title looks to be heading into a two-horse race as both Athletic and Crisisbless are on track for over a hundred points. Athletic, for their part, absolutely trash a miserable Belgrave 5-0, while it’s a far closer-run thing for Crisisbless, 2-1 against a spirited but ultimately limited Maximum Rovers outfit. Creed United’s narrow 1-0 win over Bishop (Karena Braham, once again, with the winner) sees them overtake the swooning Moths, who are outfought and outmuscled to a second successive 2-0 defeat, this time at Morningstar’s hands. Chenoworth are locked in a furious, high-tempo 2-2 draw with Brookford and retain 5th, with Treason and Brinemouth chalking up narrow victories against weak opposition to round out the UICA places.

Treason is, however, six points above Brinemouth, and Crisisbless is eight ahead of Creed. From 7th-placed Brinemouth to the very bottom of the table, no side is more than two points away from their neighbours, and it all kind of blends into itself. Even so, Starling’s 1-1 draw against Corvette leaves them languishing in 9th and looking far from healthy, while Bishop, despite their defeat, will be pleased with 8th. Hard-fought 2-0 wins for Parrhesia and Morningstar help lift them away from their early danger, while a limp 2-1 defeat for Coret sees their malaise continue. Cranequin Wanderers win a vital six-pointer over Violence thanks largely to the inspirational teenage winger, Strongbow - the Chariots now have one point from their last potential twenty-one, and the two are now 19th and 20th. The Wanderers’ win pushes the Rovers into 21st, and now Armstrong and Belgrave (who simply cannot score a goal to save their lives) are safely nestled in the relegation places that everyone thought they’d be in from the start. At the foot of the table, Corvette’s draw against Starling might be the start of something bright, but on the other hand, how do you concede 60 goals in 23 games and expect to get away with it?

MATCHDAY 13
Martella Jazz 1-3 Crisisbless United
Sheridan 0-1 Southfell United
South Laithland 1-1 Diamondqueen
East Laithland Harriers 1-1 Cranequin City
North Sabrefell 2-1 Cypher Town
Chatswood 1-0 Iron City
Goodfeather FC 4-0 Coret Rovers
Maximum City 1-0 Ritter Town
West Brinemouth 0-3 Vermillion Wanderers
Greygate 0-2 Extreme Hills
Hackett 2-0 Leichhardt
Mantlegrove 1-0 Sutcroft
MATCHDAY 14
Southfell United 2-1 Martella Jazz
Diamondqueen 3-0 Crisisbless United
Cranequin City 0-1 Sheridan
Cypher Town 0-1 South Laithland
Iron City 1-0 East Laithland Harriers
Coret Rovers 0-1 North Sabrefell
Ritter Town 0-1 Chatswood
Vermillion Wanderers 0-3 Goodfeather FC
Extreme Hills 3-2 Maximum City
Leichhardt 0-1 West Brinemouth
Sutcroft 1-0 Greygate
Mantlegrove 3-1 Hackett
MATCHDAY 15
Martella Jazz 0-2 Diamondqueen
Southfell United 1-0 Cranequin City
Crisisbless United 3-1 Cypher Town
Sheridan 1-0 Iron City
South Laithland 6-1 Coret Rovers
East Laithland Harriers 0-1 Ritter Town
North Sabrefell 1-1 Vermillion Wanderers
Chatswood 1-1 Extreme Hills
Goodfeather FC 0-0 Leichhardt
Maximum City 2-0 Sutcroft
West Brinemouth 0-2 Mantlegrove
Greygate 1-0 Hackett
MATCHDAY 16
Cranequin City 2-2 Martella Jazz
Cypher Town 0-3 Diamondqueen
Iron City 1-0 Southfell United
Coret Rovers 3-1 Crisisbless United
Ritter Town 0-1 Sheridan
Vermillion Wanderers 0-1 South Laithland
Extreme Hills 5-0 East Laithland Harriers
Leichhardt 0-2 North Sabrefell
Sutcroft 0-2 Chatswood
Mantlegrove 0-3 Goodfeather FC
Hackett 3-2 Maximum City
Greygate 1-0 West Brinemouth
MATCHDAY 17
Martella Jazz 2-2 Cypher Town
Cranequin City 0-1 Iron City
Diamondqueen 1-0 Coret Rovers
Southfell United 5-0 Ritter Town
Crisisbless United 5-1 Vermillion Wanderers
Sheridan 3-2 Extreme Hills
South Laithland 0-0 Leichhardt
East Laithland Harriers 0-0 Sutcroft
North Sabrefell 3-2 Mantlegrove
Chatswood 0-1 Hackett
Goodfeather FC 1-0 Greygate
Maximum City 0-0 West Brinemouth
MATCHDAY 18
Iron City 0-0 Martella Jazz
Coret Rovers 0-3 Cypher Town
Ritter Town 1-1 Cranequin City
Vermillion Wanderers 1-2 Diamondqueen
Extreme Hills 1-3 Southfell United
Leichhardt 0-2 Crisisbless United
Sutcroft 1-1 Sheridan
Mantlegrove 1-1 South Laithland
Hackett 1-2 East Laithland Harriers
Greygate 1-2 North Sabrefell
West Brinemouth 1-3 Chatswood
Maximum City 1-1 Goodfeather FC
MATCHDAY 19
Martella Jazz 0-2 Coret Rovers
Iron City 1-0 Ritter Town
Cypher Town 3-0 Vermillion Wanderers
Cranequin City 3-2 Extreme Hills
Diamondqueen 3-2 Leichhardt
Southfell United 2-0 Sutcroft
Crisisbless United 2-0 Mantlegrove
Sheridan 0-2 Hackett
South Laithland 3-0 Greygate
East Laithland Harriers 2-1 West Brinemouth
North Sabrefell 2-1 Maximum City
Chatswood 2-0 Goodfeather FC
MATCHDAY 20
Ritter Town 1-2 Martella Jazz
Vermillion Wanderers 0-1 Coret Rovers
Extreme Hills 1-0 Iron City
Leichhardt 0-2 Cypher Town
Sutcroft 0-1 Cranequin City
Mantlegrove 3-3 Diamondqueen
Hackett 2-2 Southfell United
Greygate 2-0 Crisisbless United
West Brinemouth 1-0 Sheridan
Maximum City 1-1 South Laithland
Goodfeather FC 1-2 East Laithland Harriers
Chatswood 2-0 North Sabrefell
MATCHDAY 21
Martella Jazz 1-1 Vermillion Wanderers
Ritter Town 2-2 Extreme Hills
Coret Rovers 2-2 Leichhardt
Iron City 0-2 Sutcroft
Cypher Town 1-0 Mantlegrove
Cranequin City 0-0 Hackett
Diamondqueen 1-0 Greygate
Southfell United 2-0 West Brinemouth
Crisisbless United 4-2 Maximum City
Sheridan 2-0 Goodfeather FC
South Laithland 1-4 Chatswood
East Laithland Harriers 2-6 North Sabrefell
MATCHDAY 22
Extreme Hills 1-1 Martella Jazz
Leichhardt 2-0 Vermillion Wanderers
Sutcroft 1-1 Ritter Town
Mantlegrove 2-0 Coret Rovers
Hackett 0-2 Iron City
Greygate 1-2 Cypher Town
West Brinemouth 1-0 Cranequin City
Maximum City 0-0 Diamondqueen
Goodfeather FC 1-2 Southfell United
Chatswood 2-1 Crisisbless United
North Sabrefell 1-1 Sheridan
East Laithland Harriers 2-1 South Laithland
MATCHDAY 23
Martella Jazz 1-0 Leichhardt
Extreme Hills 5-0 Sutcroft
Vermillion Wanderers 0-0 Mantlegrove
Ritter Town 1-0 Hackett
Coret Rovers 4-1 Greygate
Iron City 1-1 West Brinemouth
Cypher Town 1-0 Maximum City
Cranequin City 2-1 Goodfeather FC
Diamondqueen 3-0 Chatswood
Southfell United 3-0 North Sabrefell
Crisisbless United 1-1 East Laithland Harriers
Sheridan 0-0 South Laithland

Goodfeather open the second quarter of the season with two big wins, 4-0 over Coret and 3-0 over Vermillion, to bring some smiles back to the good people of northeast Crisisbless. And then they stall, sputter and die. The real story has been Diamondqueen - the Diamonds, under former Quakers manager Hydrangea Dimitriades, somehow remain undefeated with their squad of fresh-faced journeymen. Unheralded goalkeeper Corren Dankworth has conceded just 11 goals and Kowalczyk and Fortounis up front are ripping the division to shreds. Felipa Medina’s Southfell have done well just to keep pace, just two points adrift, and they are 17 and 15 places respectively above 4th. It might be a bit early to call their promotion a sure thing, but… it is. Chatswood are the best of the rest - they’ve finally ground into life, spurred on by Bruno Hawke’s reluctant promotion of Gary Corsie and Desdemona Schuster (who was almost snapped up by Greygate in the offseason) to starting berths. They’ve been electrifying, while at the back they simply don’t concede. Far more thrilling are Extreme Hills (who beat local rivals East Laithland and Sutcroft 5-0 each at home) and North Sabrefell, tussling presently over 4th place and locked on goal difference, with a number of sides (most prominently Crisisbless United adn South Laithland) snapping at their heels.

Leichhardt, unbeaten in the first twelve matches, have lost seven of their past eleven in an alarming backslide, with just a single win in that stretch. They had a tough draw, sure, but defeats to garbage sides Hackett and Martella? Really? They’re now languishing in 11th, a place below Goodfeather (who have hired another former goalkeeper of theirs in Tana Colbright to replace the axed Seward). Maximum City might look secure in 14th, but realistically, that’s only two points above 21st - it’s tight at the bottom. Sheridan have impressively pulled themselves somewhat out of the mire after an appalling start to the season, but West Brinemouth - lowest scorers in the division with just fourteen, and Kunigunde Almerich has scored more than the rest of the side put together - are right in the mix, and manager Augustine Houghton holds his job by a thread. East Laithland, Martella and Sutcroft are roughly where expected, but there’s a shock at the bottom of the table - Vermillion Wanderers are winless in ten, and are the sole team Leichhardt have beaten in their recent malaise. That 2-0 defeat stirred the board to sack Catheline Allister and appoint obscure Anthorian Asmund Boon, the first manager from his country to coach abroad. He was in the stands to watch a scoreless draw with midtable Mantlegrove, and hopes to turn things around in the second half of the season - with seasoned operators in Sandra West, Gareth Ramsay and Per Martinsson running through the core of the team and Iona Britton between the posts in fine form, he definitely has the tools at his disposal to make up the six-point gap to safety.

MATCHDAY 13
Crisisbless Athletic 3-2 Dross Rovers
Chenoworth Rovers 0-0 West Hook
Iberia Chenoworth 1-2 Boleyn Town
Southriver 1-0 Kensey Town
AFC Corvistone 1-1 Stonegrave
AFC Shale 2-2 Crossroads Town
Riverkey 4-1 Brookway Town
Locksley 3-2 Iron United
Rochford 3-0 Brindleton
The Strongest 0-3 South Parrhesia
Pillars of Southfell 1-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Dartmouth Terriers 4-0 Rushe United
MATCHDAY 14
West Hook 0-1 Crisisbless Athletic
Boleyn Town 2-3 Dross Rovers
Kensey Town 0-0 Chenoworth Rovers
Stonegrave 3-2 Iberia Chenoworth
Crossroads Town 4-1 Southriver
Brookway Town 2-3 AFC Corvistone
Iron United 0-1 AFC Shale
Brindleton 2-0 Riverkey
South Parrhesia 1-2 Locksley
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-0 Rochford
Rushe United 0-1 The Strongest
Dartmouth Terriers 0-2 Pillars of Southfell
MATCHDAY 15
Crisisbless Athletic 0-0 Boleyn Town
West Hook 3-0 Kensey Town
Dross Rovers 0-2 Stonegrave
Chenoworth Rovers 0-0 Crossroads Town
Iberia Chenoworth 2-4 Brookway Town
Southriver 1-1 Iron United
AFC Corvistone 2-1 Brindleton
AFC Shale 1-0 South Parrhesia
Riverkey 2-0 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Locksley 3-1 Rushe United
Rochford 2-2 Dartmouth Terriers
The Strongest 0-1 Pillars of Southfell
MATCHDAY 16
Kensey Town 4-3 Crisisbless Athletic
Stonegrave 0-1 Boleyn Town
Crossroads Town 0-0 West Hook
Brookway Town 1-0 Dross Rovers
Iron United 1-0 Chenoworth Rovers
Brindleton 0-0 Iberia Chenoworth
South Parrhesia 6-1 Southriver
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-0 AFC Corvistone
Rushe United 0-1 AFC Shale
Dartmouth Terriers 1-2 Riverkey
Pillars of Southfell 1-0 Locksley
The Strongest 0-2 Rochford
MATCHDAY 17
Crisisbless Athletic 1-1 Stonegrave
Kensey Town 1-1 Crossroads Town
Boleyn Town 2-0 Brookway Town
West Hook 1-1 Iron United
Dross Rovers 0-1 Brindleton
Chenoworth Rovers 3-0 South Parrhesia
Iberia Chenoworth 0-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Southriver 4-2 Rushe United
AFC Corvistone 0-0 Dartmouth Terriers
AFC Shale 1-1 Pillars of Southfell
Riverkey 6-1 The Strongest
Locksley 2-0 Rochford
MATCHDAY 20
Iron United 0-2 Crisisbless Athletic
Brindleton 4-2 Brookway Town
South Parrhesia 2-3 Crossroads Town
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-0 Stonegrave
Rushe United 1-0 Kensey Town
Dartmouth Terriers 1-1 Boleyn Town
Pillars of Southfell 1-0 West Hook
The Strongest 3-1 Dross Rovers
Rochford 0-1 Chenoworth Rovers
Locksley 0-6 Iberia Chenoworth
Riverkey 1-1 Southriver
AFC Shale 0-0 AFC Corvistone
MATCHDAY 21
Crisisbless Athletic 1-2 Brindleton
Iron United 3-0 South Parrhesia
Brookway Town 1-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Crossroads Town 3-2 Rushe United
Stonegrave 1-0 Dartmouth Terriers
Kensey Town 1-1 Pillars of Southfell
Boleyn Town 1-1 The Strongest
West Hook 0-3 Rochford
Dross Rovers 0-3 Locksley
Chenoworth Rovers 1-1 Riverkey
Iberia Chenoworth 0-3 AFC Shale
Southriver 2-1 AFC Corvistone
MATCHDAY 22
South Parrhesia 1-1 Crisisbless Athletic
Rhagant Schadenfreude 1-1 Brindleton
Rushe United 2-1 Iron United
Dartmouth Terriers 5-1 Brookway Town
Pillars of Southfell 1-2 Crossroads Town
The Strongest 1-2 Stonegrave
Rochford 0-1 Kensey Town
Locksley 1-1 Boleyn Town
Riverkey 1-0 West Hook
AFC Shale 3-0 Dross Rovers
AFC Corvistone 2-0 Chenoworth Rovers
Southriver 5-0 Iberia Chenoworth
MATCHDAY 23
Crisisbless Athletic 0-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
South Parrhesia 6-2 Rushe United
Brindleton 1-0 Dartmouth Terriers
Iron United 1-0 Pillars of Southfell
Brookway Town 0-2 The Strongest
Crossroads Town 1-1 Rochford
Stonegrave 2-0 Locksley
Kensey Town 4-0 Riverkey
Boleyn Town 1-1 AFC Shale
West Hook 0-1 AFC Corvistone
Dross Rovers 0-0 Southriver
Chenoworth Rovers 3-0 Iberia Chenoworth
MATCHDAY 13
Sutcroft Athletic 0-2 Gridlock Rovers
The Hanged Man 0-1 Fenland Albion
Falston United 0-0 Kommissar
Peregrine 3-1 Mainstream Fist
Ballardine FC 2-2 Long Lake
Senway Town 1-1 Bellamy
Ox River United 1-3 Falston Town
Strephonage 2-0 Fischer
Mapleford 3-0 Gridlock East
Gosforth Swans 0-1 Ringway
Alliance Barossia 0-1 North Dubstep
Downsparrow 4-1 Lazuli Diamonds
MATCHDAY 23
Sutcroft Athletic 1-2 North Dubstep
Ringway 3-3 Lazuli Diamonds
Gridlock East 4-2 Downsparrow
Fischer 1-0 Alliance Barossia
Falston Town 1-1 Gosforth Swans
Bellamy 0-0 Mapleford
Long Lake 1-3 Strephonage
Mainstream Fist 1-2 Ox River United
Kommissar 3-2 Senway Town
Fenland Albion 1-1 Ballardine FC
Gridlock Rovers 3-0 Peregrine
The Hanged Man 1-0 Falston United
MATCHDAY 13
Harrington 0-1 Boltcroft Thorns
Corinthians No Longer 3-0 Swag Hill Rovers
Sirencall FC 3-1 FC Seierstad
Forge Carpenters 1-0 Ramsay
Gridlock 2-0 Norton Road
Nay Town 2-0 Tryst Athletic
Stonesthrow Town 3-1 Gonen's Bridge
Gartside FC 1-4 Sleetwell Rangers
Courser 0-0 Grovebank
Capricopia Rangers 4-2 Fully Sick XI
MATCHDAY 23
Harrington 5-0 Capricopia Rangers
Fully Sick XI 0-4 Courser
Grovebank 1-0 Gartside FC
Sleetwell Rangers 1-0 Stonesthrow Town
Gonen's Bridge 1-0 Nay Town
Tryst Athletic 2-0 Gridlock
Norton Road 2-0 Forge Carpenters
Ramsay 0-1 Sirencall FC
FC Seierstad 2-0 Corinthians No Longer
Swag Hill Rovers 0-1 Boltcroft Thorns
MATCHDAY 13
Sandrock 1-0 Hartford Glade
Brunyard FC 6-1 Markoni
Coral Bay 1-1 Twelvetrees
South Brill 3-0 The Travellers FC
Stamper Road 2-1 Violence Tigers
Masculine Town 0-2 Rookwall
Celebryant FC 2-1 West End
Blaze 0-3 Lackerrun
Dubstep Rangers 2-1 Corby Hubris
Bodkin Road 1-0 Rochford Pilgrims
MATCHDAY 23
Sandrock 0-2 Bodkin Road
Rochford Pilgrims 0-1 Dubstep Rangers
Corby Hubris 1-0 Blaze
Lackerrun 3-1 Celebryant FC
West End 3-1 Masculine Town
Rookwall 1-0 Stamper Road
Violence Tigers 0-5 South Brill
The Travellers FC 1-0 Coral Bay
Twelvetrees 0-2 Brunyard FC
Markoni 3-3 Hartford Glade

PREMIERSHIP
Pos Team                      P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Sabrefell Athletic 23 17 2 4 57 30 +27 53
2 Crisisbless 23 16 3 4 43 20 +23 51
3 Creed United 23 13 4 6 37 22 +15 43
4 Sabrefell Moths 23 12 6 5 48 30 +18 42

5 Chenoworth Harriers 23 12 5 6 38 33 +5 41
6 AFC Treason 23 12 4 7 39 32 +7 40
7 Brinemouth 23 10 4 9 38 27 +11 34

8 Bishop 23 10 4 9 24 28 -4 34
9 Starling 23 8 8 7 37 28 +9 32
10 Brookford Otters 23 9 5 9 35 33 +2 32
11 Vermillion Rage 23 9 4 10 27 24 +3 31
12 Newrook City 23 9 4 10 23 30 -7 31
13 Raven River 23 8 6 9 28 30 -2 30
14 Parrhesia United 23 8 6 9 29 36 -7 30
15 AFC Serpentine 23 7 7 9 31 32 -1 28
16 Morningstar 23 8 4 11 31 36 -5 28
17 Coret Hawks 23 8 3 12 37 39 -2 27
18 North Laithland 23 8 2 13 29 37 -8 26
19 Cranequin Wanderers 23 8 2 13 34 43 -9 26
20 Violence Chariots 23 6 7 10 40 46 -6 25
21 Maximum Rovers 23 6 6 11 27 37 -10 24
22 Armstrong 23 6 5 12 31 41 -10 23
23 Belgrave 23 6 3 14 18 42 -24 21
24 Corvette Maulers 23 5 6 12 35 60 -25 21

FIRST DIVISION
Pos Team                          P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Diamondqueen 23 17 6 0 47 11 +36 57
2 Southfell United 23 17 4 2 53 16 +37 55
3 Chatswood 23 12 5 6 28 19 +9 41

4 Extreme Hills 23 11 7 5 41 23 +18 40
5 North Sabrefell 23 12 4 7 36 29 +7 40
6 Crisisbless United 23 12 2 9 37 30 +7 38
7 South Laithland 23 10 7 6 37 22 +15 37
8 Cypher Town 23 10 6 7 30 23 +7 36
9 Iron City 23 10 4 9 15 20 -5 34
10 Goodfeather FC 23 9 6 8 33 24 +9 33
11 Leichhardt 23 8 8 7 23 19 +4 32
12 Coret Rovers 23 9 2 12 28 39 -11 29
13 Mantlegrove 23 6 9 8 27 27 +0 27
14 Maximum City 23 6 8 9 23 27 -4 26
15 Hackett 23 7 5 11 25 33 -8 26
16 Ritter Town 23 7 5 11 23 31 -8 26
17 Greygate 23 8 2 13 20 30 -10 26
18 Cranequin City 23 5 10 8 20 26 -6 25
19 Sheridan 23 6 7 10 17 24 -7 25
20 West Brinemouth 23 7 4 12 14 23 -9 25
21 East Laithland Harriers 23 6 6 11 23 44 -21 24
22 Martella Jazz 23 5 6 12 23 44 -21 21
23 Sutcroft 23 4 7 12 17 36 -19 19
24 Vermillion Wanderers 23 5 4 14 19 39 -20 19

SECOND DIVISION
Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 AFC Shale 23 14 6 3 27 10 +17 48
2 Riverkey 23 14 3 6 41 26 +15 45
3 Crossroads Town 23 11 9 3 36 24 +12 42
4 Locksley 23 12 6 5 34 27 +7 42

5 The Strongest 23 12 2 9 42 36 +6 38
6 Rochford 23 10 7 6 35 23 +12 37
7 South Parrhesia 23 11 4 8 40 31 +9 37
8 Chenoworth Rovers 23 9 10 4 19 10 +9 37
9 Pillars of Southfell 23 9 9 5 26 19 +7 36
10 Rhagant Schadenfreude 23 10 6 7 18 17 +1 36
11 Iron United 23 11 2 10 30 22 +8 35
12 Stonegrave 23 10 5 8 25 22 +3 35
13 Kensey Town 23 8 8 7 36 29 +7 32
14 AFC Corvistone 23 6 11 6 22 23 -1 29
15 Crisisbless Athletic 23 6 11 6 34 37 -3 29
16 Boleyn Town 23 7 8 8 19 23 -4 29
17 Brindleton 23 7 7 9 27 28 -1 28
18 Dartmouth Terriers 23 6 7 10 24 26 -2 25
19 Southriver 23 5 9 9 26 33 -7 24
20 Brookway Town 23 6 6 11 33 48 -15 24
21 Dross Rovers 23 6 4 13 23 38 -15 22
22 West Hook 23 6 3 14 20 25 -5 21
23 Rushe United 23 2 5 16 25 53 -28 11
24 Iberia Chenoworth 23 3 2 18 26 58 -32 11

THIRD DIVISION
Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 The Hanged Man 23 16 4 3 27 8 +19 52
2 Strephonage 23 15 4 4 31 13 +18 49
3 Peregrine 23 13 4 6 55 28 +27 43
4 Kommissar 23 11 6 6 34 24 +10 39

5 Gridlock Rovers 23 11 5 7 31 23 +8 38
6 North Dubstep 23 11 5 7 33 26 +7 38
7 Gosmouth Swans 23 11 4 8 29 25 +4 37
8 Falston Town 23 10 5 8 35 24 +11 35
9 Sutcroft Athletic 23 10 4 9 30 29 +1 34
10 Ox River United 23 9 6 8 32 31 +1 33
11 Long Lake 23 8 8 7 30 23 +7 32
12 Lazuli Diamonds 23 8 8 7 30 31 -1 32
13 Mapleford 23 8 8 7 24 32 -8 32
14 Falston United 23 7 10 6 26 23 +3 31
15 Fenland Albion 23 8 7 8 21 20 +1 31
16 Ringway 23 5 14 4 25 24 +1 29
17 Fischer 23 6 8 9 22 34 -12 26
18 Gridlock East 23 6 6 11 22 28 -6 24
19 Ballardine FC 23 6 6 11 26 34 -8 24
20 Downsparrow 23 6 5 12 34 45 -11 23
21 Alliance Barossia 23 4 6 13 17 29 -12 18
22 Mainstream Fist 23 4 6 13 24 48 -24 18
23 Bellamy 23 2 10 11 16 32 -16 16
24 Senway Town 23 3 7 13 22 42 -20 16

CONFERENCE WEST
Pos Team                        P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Gonen's Bridge 23 14 5 4 37 14 +23 47
2 FC Seierstad 23 12 5 6 41 24 +17 41

3 Corinthians No Longer 23 12 4 7 34 28 +6 40
4 Fully Sick XI 23 11 6 6 35 22 +13 39
5 Sleetwell Rangers 23 11 6 6 32 27 +5 39
6 Harrington 23 10 8 5 33 17 +16 38
7 Boltcroft Thorns 23 10 7 6 26 24 +2 37
8 Grovebank 23 10 5 8 27 21 +6 35
9 Sirencall FC 23 9 7 7 31 27 +4 34
10 Gridlock 23 9 7 7 19 21 -2 34
11 Tryst Athletic 23 9 4 10 28 34 -6 31
12 Norton Road 23 8 4 11 25 26 -1 28
13 Stonesthrow Town 23 7 7 9 20 24 -4 28
14 Capricopia Rangers 23 7 7 9 33 44 -11 28
15 Forge Carpenters 23 7 5 11 13 23 -10 26
16 Swag Hill Rovers 23 7 5 11 29 48 -19 26
17 Nay Town 23 7 3 13 24 31 -7 24
18 Courser 23 5 8 10 24 28 -4 23
19 Ramsay 23 5 6 12 23 27 -4 21
20 Gartside FC 23 2 7 14 18 42 -24 13

CONFERENCE EAST
Pos Team                    P   W  D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Bodkin Road 23 17 4 2 51 17 +34 55
2 Rochford Pilgrims 23 16 2 5 46 21 +25 50

3 Stamper Road 23 13 7 3 41 22 +19 46
4 Dubstep Rangers 23 13 6 4 33 22 +11 45
5 Hartford Glade 23 11 6 6 54 31 +23 39
6 Blaze 23 10 7 6 28 24 +4 37
7 Lackerrun 23 11 4 8 38 36 +2 37
8 Brunyard FC 23 9 9 5 45 31 +14 36
9 Rookwall 23 10 6 7 29 26 +3 36
10 Violence Tigers 23 9 3 11 32 31 +1 30
11 South Brill 23 8 5 10 29 28 +1 29
12 Masculine Town 23 8 5 10 32 35 -3 29
13 Twelvetrees 23 7 6 10 19 25 -6 27
14 Celebryant FC 23 6 6 11 24 43 -19 24
15 The Travellers FC 23 6 5 12 31 39 -8 23
16 Sandrock 23 5 6 12 17 29 -12 21
17 Corby Hubris 23 5 5 13 22 38 -16 20
18 Markoni 23 4 8 11 26 51 -25 20
19 Coral Bay 23 4 7 12 21 42 -21 19
20 West End 23 2 5 16 16 43 -27 11
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Nephara
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Postby Nephara » Fri Jun 09, 2017 3:37 pm

Newrook City 2-0 Extreme Hills
Maximum City 0-0 Crisisbless Athletic (0-0 AET, 5-3 PKs)
Vermillion Wanderers 2-1 Brookford Otters
Vermillion Rage 1-2 Starling
Raven River 1-2 AFC Serpentine
AFC Treason 2-0 Greygate
Lazuli Diamonds 10-2 Dartmouth Terriers
Fischer 1-7 Morningstar
AFC Corvistone 1-5 North Laithland
Bishop 0-1 Coret Hawks
Armstrong 1-0 Maximum Rovers
Sheridan 1-0 South Parrhesia
Downsparrow 2-3 Brinemouth
Pillars of Southfell 0-3 Creed United
Cranequin City 2-2 Corvette Maulers (3-2 AET)
Parrhesia United 1-2 Cranequin Wanderers

Languishing in 14th in the Second Division, Corvistone have axed Lukas Pallister and brought in former Ceni international and assistant manager Davalei Evatee. He faces a baptism of fire as his side hosts North Laithland, who are going all-out for Cup success, and he can only look on as despite an early strike from Jack Brier his Crows absoluitely fold under pressure and ultimately get destroyed 5-1. Could be worse, though! For instance, Dartmouth Terriers are ripped apart 10-2 by Lazuli Diamonds… yeah, the Third Division’s Diamonds, who are now the last representatives of the fourth tier after Pillars of Southfell, Downsparrow and Fischer (who collapse 7-1 at home against Morningstar) are all knocked out. Nobody survives at all from the Second Division. Boon’s first match in charge of Vermillion Wanderers sees them pull ahead of Brookford thanks to an early Masquerade Bryson brace and maintain the lead through some excellent saves from Iona Britton, a hugely disappointing defeat for the Otters, who had Cup success as a main target for the season. Cranequin City hold their own against a strong Corvette side eager to build up some momentum, their aging side pegging them back with goals from Kelsey and Stubbs before in extra time young Schottian forward Laura Annesley finishes the job. Vermilion, River, Bishop, the Rovers and Parrhesia are all edged out by fellow Premiership opposition.

Brinemouth 2-1 Crisisbless
Belgrave 1-1 Maximum Rovers
Morningstar 1-1 North Laithland
Armstrong 1-2 Sabrefell Athletic
Raven River 0-2 Sabrefell Moths
Cranequin Wanderers 1-4 AFC Treason
AFC Serpentine 3-0 Vermillion Rage
Corvette Maulers 1-1 Violence Chariots
Chenoworth Harriers 2-0 Coret Hawks
Bishop 0-1 Starling
Parrhesia United 3-0 Brookford Otters
Newrook City 1-3 Creed United

The Saints claw their way up the table, dangerously close to the Globe Cup places (the coefficient winces in anticipation), with a tub-thumping 3-0 victory over a backsliding Brookford. Sinan Uzunlar, who has struggled at this level to this point and sporadically lost his place to Telfair or McEthinly, finally gets into some form as wingers Berisha and Dragana tear Brookford apart. Some love to Serpentine, as well - scarcely mentioned over the course of the season mostly because they’re Just Sort Of Doing Pretty Well. They hand another start to Ishtar Fanaiyan on her 19th birthday and she rewards them with two assists in a 3-0 win over Vermillion. Nobody actually scores for the Serpents besides Mason and Apexarena (their next top scorer is a few guys on… two goals) but they do the job and Andreas Swoboda between the posts is one to watch for the national side. Crisisbless are reportedly making eyes at him - they’re edged 2-1 by Brinemouth, as young guns Brymora, Bartley, Bayliss and Exarchopolous prove dominant. Frew’s shuffling his deck more, and it seems to be working out better for everyone.

Crisisbless 1-0 Belgrave
Brinemouth 3-1 Morningstar
Maximum Rovers 5-1 Armstrong
North Laithland 1-1 Raven River
Sabrefell Athletic 1-0 Cranequin Wanderers
Sabrefell Moths 3-1 AFC Serpentine
AFC Treason 0-1 Corvette Maulers
Vermillion Rage 3-1 Chenoworth Harriers
Violence Chariots 1-1 Bishop
Coret Hawks 2-1 Parrhesia United
Starling 2-2 Newrook City
Brookford Otters 2-0 Creed United

Maximum Rovers take an important step towards safety by utterly crushing Armstrong 5-1. They’re already well on top (3-0) even before red cards in quick succession to both sides’ defensive midfielders, former Armstrong man Woodbine and current Armstrong woman Kisel. Senturk is their entire X-Factor, and they still don’t look entirely convincing. As Crisisbless edge out Belgrave (yet again, the Gargoyles just can’t finish), Corvette takes the chance to clamber off the bottom of the table, overtaking both Belgrave and Armstrong. In all honesty, they’re fairly lucky to edge their opponents… Treason. In Treason. Lukas Sparr makes many great saves, Ruza Djuric cuts inside and falls over while shooting but manages to get it past Fletcher anyway and Lara Silverstein, dropped into defensive midfield, proves the move a masterstroke in an excellent performance. The Hawks claw back some much-needed ground thanks to an injury-time brace from Dorian Fletchclair. Fletchclair was useless as a regular starter this season, but he’s proven handy as a routine on-the-hour impact substitute for Felix Keller. The problem is that Felix Keller has been pretty bloody underwhelming himself. Being 35 will do that to you.

Morningstar 1-1 Crisisbless
Armstrong 0-2 Belgrave
Raven River 0-6 Brinemouth
Cranequin Wanderers 2-0 Maximum Rovers
AFC Serpentine 1-1 North Laithland
Corvette Maulers 2-3 Sabrefell Athletic
Chenoworth Harriers 0-1 Sabrefell Moths
Bishop 1-1 AFC Treason
Parrhesia United 1-1 Vermillion Rage
Newrook City 0-2 Violence Chariots
Creed United 0-1 Coret Hawks
Brookford Otters 1-1 Starling

River have done quite well for themselves this season, but Brinemouth have absolutely no respect them and tear them apart, 6-0, on their own patch. Naumoff, Bowerman and Dimitriades have been defensive bulwarks throughout the campaign thus far and are all abject against Brinemouth, while Kilbane, one of their best and most used players, looks very jaded and is taken off halfway through. Kyron Bartley has been the Dockers’ best player throughout their good run, and is rewarded with a ludicrous two goals and three assists today as he destroys the careers of both Tenenbaum and her substitute, Pryce. There’s some real six-pointers at the bottom of the table. Cranequin Wanderers need a win over Maximum Rovers on home soil, and get one - Sroel Cavan yet again dominant in the centre of the pitch, Aziz Senturk looking tired and beleagured, Juergen Evans with a brace. They win 2-0, and so do Belgrave over a very poor Armstrong. Belgrave have put the young forward Julia Thane up front to replace Claudia Oakwood, who has scored a mighty five goals thus far, and it pays dividends - she scores her second from five starts. A surprising choice, since Thane is mostly a winger. Armstrong have almost nothing to offer, and Nikolajsen’s form, a shining light at the start of the season, has dropped off a cliff recently.

Crisisbless 1-0 Armstrong
Morningstar 2-0 Raven River
Belgrave 5-0 Cranequin Wanderers
Brinemouth 2-1 AFC Serpentine
Maximum Rovers 0-1 Corvette Maulers
North Laithland 0-2 Chenoworth Harriers
Sabrefell Athletic 2-2 Bishop
Sabrefell Moths 0-1 Parrhesia United
AFC Treason 3-0 Newrook City
Vermillion Rage 0-1 Creed United
Violence Chariots 1-5 Brookford Otters
Coret Hawks 1-2 Starling

Well… that happened. Belgrave decided they really wanted to beat Cranequin and promptly, well, did so. Julia Thane scored twice, Petersen, Galloway and Sansa Dreyfuss chipped in and the Wanderers really just folded. Tsiolkas sat on Cavan, Gronkjaer dealt with the aerial threat and Fairweather saved everything that came her way. “They were better in every metric,” Wanderers captain Paul Bismarck has the good grace to concede after the game. River are still in a funk after being annihilated by Brinemouth and are absolutely listless as Morningstar steamroller them - in fact, it’s kind of a testament to Morningstar’s lack of bite that they only score two, one due to a rare error from Matt Boweman as he fumbles Karo Vanstrattan’s low, diagonal cross into his own net. Generously, it’s given as Vanstrattan’s goal. Morale in Violence is low and Siorrha’Asione doesn’t even show up to training these days. It shows, as Brookford mercilessly put them to the sword - 3-1 at half-time as Tanya Chilton dominates, Rossizzo makes a triple-substitution and then one of the substitutes, teenager Laura Belfry, gets sent off for a scything challenge. Surprisingly, Brookford only score twice more - one a penalty that completes Nikita Loeher’s hat-trick. After managing a draw against Treason last match, Bishop go down early to two goals from Athletic, who are in no hurry to overstretch in the second half. But while the pace is staid right up until the 80th minute, Cunnington’s curling free kick is flicked home by Darren Crinion and then, unexpectedly, Bishop are galvanised enough to really take the game to the Reds. Their reward? An injury-time header from emerging young gun Lorelei Neptune seals them a point. Neptune’s done well so far this season, and is in contention to secure a starting berth for herself sooner rather than later.

Coret Hawks 0-1 Cranequin Wanderers
Newrook City 3-0 AFC Serpentine
Sheridan 1-2 Starling
Cranequin City 0-4 Creed United
Morningstar 1-1 North Laithland (1-2 AET)
Lazuli Diamonds 1-0 Maximum City
AFC Treason 5-1 Vermillion Wanderers
Brinemouth 0-1 Armstrong

Somewhat disappointingly, the Cup is already mostly Premiership sides, and the few that aren’t largely get picked off by, well, Premiership sides. Cranequin City are hopeless as Creed steamroll them, Vermillion Wanderers are curbstomped by Treason and Sheridan are resilient but ultimately not good enough against Starling. Newrook also stomp a team - Serpentine. Both sides are probably safe enough from relegation to give it their all, but evidently only the Rooks had their heads in the game. Coret’s first-team utterly collapse into an incoherent slump against Cranequin Wanderers’ B-list, and a spectacular diving header from Cosumar youth international Dakota Blaylock sink the Hawks. Alisander Ellery should have saved it, but it’s not exactly a secret that he’s a liability as a backup goalkeeper. North Laithland are battered and beaten by Morningstar until finally, in the 75th minute, they break. By equalising- wait, what? Well, it happens anyway, courtesy of the substitute Kistler - and they repeat the feat in injury time when Gazzincha’s piledriver of a shot is deflected past the impressive Magnus Orchard by his own defender and captain, Gwen Saunders. Armstrong, Brinemouth’s bogey team, win thanks to Deon Martyn heading home an excellent Hearn’s corner as Helene Corridan, their heroic young goalkeeper, stakes her claim to a more regular starting role with nine strong saves. Most impressive, though, the final lower-division side left standing? Lazuli Diamonds. Of the fourth tier. The Smiths may have been in the Premiership last season but they’re outrun and outwitted by the Diamonds, who eventually win through prolific young striker Ether Kruse.

Raven River 2-3 Crisisbless
Cranequin Wanderers 1-0 Armstrong
AFC Serpentine 4-1 Morningstar
Corvette Maulers 2-0 Belgrave
Chenoworth Harriers 0-0 Brinemouth
Bishop 6-1 Maximum Rovers
Parrhesia United 1-2 North Laithland
Newrook City 3-4 Sabrefell Athletic
Creed United 2-1 Sabrefell Moths
Brookford Otters 2-2 AFC Treason
Starling 2-1 Vermillion Rage
Coret Hawks 2-1 Violence Chariots

Goddamn. After three consecutive draws, Bishop utterly pump the Rovers 6-1 as Catheline Harper concedes early to Shawcroft and doesn’t have a choice but to keep throwing her guys forward and keep getting pulverised on the counterattack. Or, at least, doesn’t seem to think she does, and then does, and gets, as mentioned, pumped 6-1. Then sacked. It’s a rough day for Harps, and controversial despite the Rovers’ genuine relegation danger - she was a huge fan favourite. They jet in Catheline Allister, last seen… er... driving Vermillion Wanderers into the ground? But she has been successful at this level before. Corvette notch up a vital 2-0 win over Belgrave, Dani Harper providing the finishing touches and Silverstein yet again outstanding in defensive midfield, with hitherto squad player Hedwig Schelin impressive at the back. Creed United hold onto their top-of-the-line cred with a hard-bitten, scrappy 2-1 win over the Moths, Ulysses Mithradates yet again getting the job done up front and Melinda Rubio yet again rolling back the years. Russ Beresford, for his part, has done well to somewhat fill Woodgate’s shoes. Newrook and Athletic go toe-to-toe in a vigorous slugging match that sees Alan Bothroyd take home the match-ball… but the Reds take home the three points, as the score ends 3-4. Brinemouth try and capitalise on decent recent form but the Harriers resolutely man-mark them out of the game and grind their way to a point - arguably too negative, but their counterattacks almost pay dividends, and it’s actually Matt Vintner who makes the most saves out of the two goalkeepers.

AFC Treason 3-0 Tannenberg FC

Treason welcome Tannenberg back to Nephara, and they’ve got Dragan Stavanger with them! But the big striker can’t help them break down the determined rearguard from the Stags. All three goals come in the second half, as Treason flick up on the scale from ‘grim armwrestle’ to ‘dominant showcase’ - Cantor, Tarashaj and Vyntra get the goals, and Tannenberg has it all to do back in Valladares.

Crisisbless 1-0 Cranequin Wanderers
Raven River 0-1 AFC Serpentine
Armstrong 0-1 Corvette Maulers
Morningstar 1-3 Chenoworth Harriers
Belgrave 1-2 Bishop
Brinemouth 2-1 Parrhesia United
Maximum Rovers 1-0 Newrook City
North Laithland 0-2 Creed United
Sabrefell Athletic 1-0 Brookford Otters
Sabrefell Moths 1-1 Starling
AFC Treason 1-1 Coret Hawks
Vermillion Rage 3-1 Violence Chariots

Three wins in a row for the Maulers! All against relegation strugglers, too. Armstrong just lack the bite to really trouble Lukas Sparr (who’s come into his own lately) and Ylissa Hatherton, who must surely be in the frame for a Nephara callup by this stage, rifles home a winner from just outside the box. Sauro Costabile is sent off on the hour mark for needlessly driving his elbow into Ankergren’s face and that’s the game over and done with as a contest. River, by contrast, have lost five in a row, having spun out of control after the 6-0 defeat. It’s telling that such a technical side seems to hope only to hold out against Serpentine, sporadically getting the ball straight to Lynwood who is worryingly out of form at the moment and finally conceding in injury time as Keoman skips past Heffernan, plays a neat one-two with Apexarena and smashes it into the top corner. The Rovers will be thankful for their own 1-0 win, as Allister immediately switches things up to a 4-4-1-1, restores Murdoch to the wing (where he does capably), shunts Saravakos forward, controversially drops captain Alex Chapin and goalkeeper Nicholas Lindberg and, well, despite all that the attack doesn’t really flow, and they end up scoring from Senturk’s corner being headed home by Conan Lineker. But it’s an encouraging sign, even so. At the top of the table - or, at least, the sides that thought they’d be at the top of the table - the Moths lock horns with the Passerines, with Johnson’s goal cancelled out by a controversial, scrappy equaliser - Kaspian looks to have practically dragged Rona Morgantrau to the ground as he thumped it beyond Griffin.

Tannenberg FC 0-0 AFC Treason
AFC Treason win 3-0 on aggregate.

It’s a dull, grinding affair, and that’s just how Ben Randall wants it. A cautious 4-1-4-1 is favoured with Misidjan impressing in central midfield, Labonne impenetrable behind her and Tarashaj as Svensson puts Stavanger in his pocket and Fletcher takes care of the stray shots. A productive homecoming for Alexander Lopes, who has been Randall’s preferred option against the stronger teams.

AFC Serpentine 1-4 Crisisbless
Corvette Maulers 1-4 Cranequin Wanderers
Chenoworth Harriers 1-2 Raven River
Bishop 0-0 Armstrong
Parrhesia United 1-0 Morningstar
Newrook City 0-0 Belgrave
Creed United 1-1 Brinemouth
Brookford Otters 0-2 Maximum Rovers
Starling 0-1 North Laithland
Coret Hawks 0-1 Sabrefell Athletic
Violence Chariots 2-2 Sabrefell Moths
Vermillion Rage 3-0 AFC Treason

A stunning result in Vermillion - no, not the Saints’ routine win over Morningstar, but the Rage pulverises Treason 3-0! It doesn’t look to be going that way when Defaye (thought to be on the way out next window) clumsily fouls Vesper in the box, and Roddy Fraser, yet to miss a penalty for the Stags, steps up to the plate… and drives his penalty against the crossbar. He endures a nightmare of a game, Orpheus Clement stands strong for the Rage and at the other end, Antunovic, Alemane and Aveline get the job done as Vermillion passes rings around the Stags. The Rovers pick up another valuable win and clean sheet, Lucy Curren’s brace taking them past Brookford comfortably. Corvette’s good run of form is put to the sword by Cranequin in a 4-1 home reversal. The Wanderers have a simple plan - pump it to Evans and Teixeira and put the Maulers’ shaky central defence under constant pressure. It works a treat, and Dakota Blaylock gets his first league goal of the season, coming off the bench in the 85th minute and scoring with his first touch a minute later. While Treason, the Moths (undone by a late Violence flurry and held to a draw) and Brinemouth all drop points, Athletic and Crisisbless just keep chugging on, matching one another blade for blade.

Crisisbless 1-1 Corvette Maulers
AFC Serpentine 1-0 Chenoworth Harriers
Cranequin Wanderers 1-3 Bishop
Raven River 2-0 Parrhesia United
Armstrong 0-1 Newrook City
Morningstar 2-0 Creed United
Belgrave 1-0 Brookford Otters
Brinemouth 4-1 Starling
Maximum Rovers 1-2 Coret Hawks
North Laithland 2-4 Violence Chariots
Sabrefell Athletic 0-0 Vermillion Rage
Sabrefell Moths 2-0 AFC Treason

And just as that’s said… Crisisbless pepper Lukas Sparr’s goal all day but end up relying on Leona Rafford’s inspired thunderbastard to get anything from the game as all as Dani Harper makes them pay for their lack of finishing in injury time. Another valuable point for Corvette. And hey, the Heelers don’t have to feel too bad about it - Athletic can’t break through their inspired former goalkeeper, Orpheus Clement, in a frustrating 90 minutes against Vermillion. Belgrave and Brookford is an infuriating match - the Otters are missing Loeher through injury and can’t finish what they so often start, while Belgrave pepper Caravella’s goal before finally an inspired Laura Galloway free kick breaks them down. Brinemouth face Starling in the match of the round - Brinemouth have sometimes been very open, and sometimes shut games down with sheer, choking possession. They manage both tonight - an intense, free-wheeling first half sees Brinemouth outgun Starling 3-1, Gryphon uncharacteristically poor but perhaps not helped by support from the rest of the midfield, before they shut up shop in the second half, choke the life out of the game and score late through Kuralay anyway. Elsewhere, the Moths have a somewhat more straightforward affair against the Stags - they’re just better, and win 2-0 accordingly thanks to Meier, Jaeger and a solid defensive shift.

Chenoworth Harriers 1-1 Crisisbless
Bishop 2-1 Corvette Maulers
Parrhesia United 0-1 AFC Serpentine
Newrook City 5-2 Cranequin Wanderers
Creed United 0-2 Raven River
Brookford Otters 1-1 Armstrong
Starling 2-0 Morningstar
Coret Hawks 1-0 Belgrave
Violence Chariots 1-0 Brinemouth
Vermillion Rage 3-2 Maximum Rovers
AFC Treason 3-0 North Laithland
Sabrefell Moths 2-1 Sabrefell Athletic

Newrook have struggled a bit this season, and they still have the issue of relying entirely on Bothroyd for their goals. That isn’t entirely helped by a 5-2 win in which Bothroyd scores a perfect hat-trick in the second half to take them past the Wanderers, but, you know, the fans aren’t exactly complaining? Fenwick and Jacobsen also contribute, of course. Treason have lost two in a row without scoring, but manage to break through their hoodoo against a garbage North Laithland - they’re just far more physically intense all across the field, rock-solid and hard-working, while the Spiders’ most important player, Gazzincha, continues the malaise that has so far characterised the second half of the season. Most importantly of all, a Sabrefell derby! The Moths are at home and confident, and roll out accordingly in the first half. Bereveskos should score with Athletic’s only real chance but contrives to hit a post from six inches out and the Reds are immediately punished by (who else?) Aaliyah Johnson, and then Meier cuts inside from the left, cuts back outside and then more or less clambers over Morningstar en route to powering a shot past Pressinger from just outside the box. Brunet’s team-talk evidently works a treat, though, and after half-time Athletic come out all guns blazing. Rudden forces a brilliant save from Robert Griffin (who has produced many brilliant saves across the season), Haines hacks a brutal corner off the line and Jessica Weiss comes off with a head injury, Pavel Weaver replacing her and securing a booking within forty seconds for scything through Wardenier… but ultimately, despite Ophelia Lovelock chipping over Griffin in injury time, they just can’t break through. Well, not twice, anyway. The Moths are back in town.

Celtic Noviodunum 1-0 AFC Treason
Crisisbless 0-1 Cornellians

Two disappointing results. Celtic successfully keep Treason at arm’s length throughout the game and eventually win through Inaki Marton’s 71st-minute strike - it’s a dull game, but they’ll take the win, you’d have to imagine. Cornellians have already disposed of Starling, and now Reinhard Shale comes across his former side, Crisisbless. Jade Irwin returns to her hometown and, thanks to narrative, sets a beautiful looping ball over the top that Kathryn Kvanderwyk stretches out a leg to tap past Marciak. At the other end, Crisisbless set plenty of half-chances up but can’t break the Cornellians down, and thanks to a brilliant sprawling save from McNott in the diving seconds from the substitute Sundu, the Schottians return home with a clean sheet.

Sabrefell Athletic 0-1 Blue Coast 1981
Carter FC 0-0 Sabrefell Moths

For the second time this season, Blue Coast visits Sabrefell and comes away with a result. It’s simple, in the end - Blue Coast sit back and absorb pressure, Pederson dominates Coltrane and Bensborg’s cross on the hour mark is met powerfully by a Lucio Sylvestre header for the winner. The Moths are the only Nepharim side not to lose 1-0 in internatoinal competition - indeed, nothing happens at all during their game, apart from a lot of hustle and bustle.

Crisisbless 1-1 Bishop
Chenoworth Harriers 1-1 Parrhesia United
Corvette Maulers 0-2 Newrook City
AFC Serpentine 1-0 Creed United
Cranequin Wanderers 2-1 Brookford Otters
Raven River 0-1 Starling
Armstrong 0-2 Coret Hawks
Morningstar 0-2 Violence Chariots
Belgrave 0-4 Vermillion Rage
Brinemouth 1-4 AFC Treason
Maximum Rovers 1-5 Sabrefell Moths
North Laithland 0-1 Sabrefell Athletic

Creed stumble to their third straight defeat, having failed to score over the period - in fact, Soren Maaksemstad’s red-hot form over the first half of the season has cooled drastically and he’s guilty of missing a complete sitter. Not something you can accuse Serpentine of - Fanaiyan hits in a decisive diagonal cross which Taddeo Loredan, normally so reliable, manages to get to first! But he stands on the ball and falls over, and Mason streaks on past him and chips the stranded Russ Beresford for the winner. Catheline Allister’s Rovers were off to a bright start, but the honeymoon’s been steadily draining, and a 5-1 evisceration on home turf has seen the first #AllisterOut signs around the pitch. It’s not as if she’s had time to turn things around, but Harper is a club legend and her sacking for no visible positive impact has not gone down well. Belgrave are rubbish. Just a reminder. They lose 4-0 to a team that’s actually good at passing and attacking, a. k. a. Vermillion. Julia Thane up front is a band-aid that isn’t working anymore, but Ilary Muscat is clearly not up to the standard in her cameos thus far. Brinemouth have done a lot to choke the life from even very good teams this season but as has been reflected so often over the years the Stags have literally no time for such fancy-pantsery. The tone is set within the first five minutes - first Tarashaj cleans Kuralay out, and she’s no pushover herself, and then Mariska Woodspur fires past Vintner’s near post from a painfully acute angle. Woodspur continues to dominate, her crosses set up goals for Fraser and Tarashaj and then just as Brinemouth pull one back through Jess Silkman, Cantor smashes in a corner and Svensson smashes that corner into the net with his head.

AFC Treason 2-1 Celtic Noviodunum
2-2 on aggregate. Celtic Noviodunum progress on the away goals rule.

Cornellians 0-3 Crisisbless
Crisisbless win 3-1 on aggregate.

Treason batter Celtic for eighty minutes. Cantor scores, almost breaking the net. Then she falls over under Kendall’s pressure to draw a penalty, steps up to take that penalty and smashes it against the crossbar. But it’s fine - Vyntra scores not long after, curling one beyond Eliot Horn. And the chances keep coming, and coming, and coming, and Labonne misplaces a pass, and Michelle Stone acts immediately to hit one over the top to Kira Koromin, who bears down on goal and chips the stranded Fletcher. Celtic win on away goals. It’s infuriating. Not for Crisisbless, though! Cornellians are stumbling in the league and the Heelers smell blood - then Urso, Jevdjevic-Hadsic and Cautcher capitalise, the last with a perfect instinctive backheel off Leona Rafford’s cross. The good shit.

Blue Coast 1981 0-0 Sabrefell Athletic
Blue Coast 1981 win 1-0 on aggregate.

Sabrefell Moths 3-1 Carter FC
Sabrefell Moths win 3-1 on aggregate.

A dire affair in the Blue Coast, but you’d have to imagine the Port Christopher side would be happy with that. They simply shut the Reds down, and thoroughly deserve their clean sheet. Does young Nepharim journeyman defender Alisander Seip deserve a move to the Premiership for the first time in his career? Well, the rumours are spreading, but really, Nepharim would be better-set thinking on the Moths. They’re set back by an early Carter goal, but, well… Johnson scores a hat-trick. One’s a penalty, sure, but it’s still a hat-trick. The Osarian is probab- no, she is the best striker ever seen in the Premiership. Sorry, Penumbra!

Parrhesia United 2-0 Crisisbless
Newrook City 0-2 Bishop
Creed United 2-2 Chenoworth Harriers
Brookford Otters 1-4 Corvette Maulers
Starling 6-0 AFC Serpentine
Coret Hawks 2-2 Cranequin Wanderers
Violence Chariots 6-0 Raven River
Vermillion Rage 2-1 Armstrong
AFC Treason 0-0 Morningstar
Sabrefell Moths 3-0 Belgrave
Sabrefell Athletic 0-1 Brinemouth
North Laithland 0-0 Maximum Rovers

The top two have staggered of late, and both lose today. Crisisbless follow up a string of three straight draws by losing 2-0 to an energetic Parrhesia side hypercharged by Swanhilda Berisha’s inspired performance, while Athletic are outgunned and outwitted by a Brinemouth side that simply chokes the life out of the game through incessant possession before winning through an Osman Candelo bolt from the blue. But Athletic still hold six points over Crisisbless, and Crisisbless, in turn, still have a five-point buffer over the resurgent Moths, who effortlessly crush Belgrave 3-0. Brinemouth’s win allows them to overtake Creed (winless in five), who draw the Harriers (7th) to maintain ahold of the Globe Cup places. Treason are sandwiched between them, unable to break down a resilient Morningstar in a grinding scoreless draw. Bishop comfortably outplay Newrook, Starling pump Serpentine 6-0 and Vermillion patiently break down Armstrong’s defence in the second half to win. All three are in the chasing pack for the Globe Cup places, pulling away from midtable and rounding out the top ten.

Violence mop up the last of their negative goal difference with a 6-0 hammering of a listless River - they’ve pulled away from relegation trouble now while River are starting to hover dangerously close to it. Cranequin give themselves some breathing room with a draw against Coret. Brookford are also getting dangerously close to trouble as Corvette finally drag themselves out of the mire to the relative safety of 19th with a 4-1 away win over the Otters, with Lara Silverstein yet again excelling out of position and Dani Harper proving the difference a clinical striker can make. How Morningstar wish they had one of those - they lie 20th. But it could be worse! They could be North Laithland or Maximum Rovers, for instance, who are sleepwalking into the fire. The two sides faced each other, both having lost their past three, and grind out a scoreless draw that ultimately helps neither of them. Belgrave are four points adrift even of 21st and five of safety, and it’s not surprising - they’ve scored fewer goals than any other side in the league, just 28. So much for their lofty ambitions at the start of the season. At the bottom of the table, Armstrong have completely flatlined - they’ve managed two points in twelve matches and are in fact winless since that 6-1 annihilation of the Chariots. Most staggeringly of all, they’ve scored just four times in that spell! It seems like that win may have been a wake-up call for the Chariots, but it was a fucking sedative for the Knights.

MATCHDAY 24
Sutcroft 2-1 Martella Jazz
Mantlegrove 1-2 Leichhardt
Hackett 1-3 Extreme Hills
Greygate 1-2 Vermillion Wanderers
West Brinemouth 1-2 Ritter Town
Maximum City 0-1 Coret Rovers
Goodfeather FC 1-0 Iron City
Chatswood 0-0 Cypher Town
North Sabrefell 4-0 Cranequin City
East Laithland Harriers 6-1 Diamondqueen
South Laithland 2-1 Southfell United
Sheridan 0-3 Crisisbless United
MATCHDAY 25
Martella Jazz 2-2 Mantlegrove
Sutcroft 1-3 Hackett
Leichhardt 2-0 Greygate
Extreme Hills 0-0 West Brinemouth
Vermillion Wanderers 1-1 Maximum City
Ritter Town 4-0 Goodfeather FC
Coret Rovers 3-2 Chatswood
Iron City 1-0 North Sabrefell
Cypher Town 2-0 East Laithland Harriers
Cranequin City 1-2 South Laithland
Diamondqueen 0-0 Sheridan
Southfell United 5-2 Crisisbless United
MATCHDAY 26
Hackett 2-2 Martella Jazz
Greygate 0-2 Mantlegrove
West Brinemouth 2-1 Sutcroft
Maximum City 1-0 Leichhardt
Goodfeather FC 3-3 Extreme Hills
Chatswood 1-0 Vermillion Wanderers
North Sabrefell 1-0 Ritter Town
East Laithland Harriers 4-0 Coret Rovers
South Laithland 2-0 Iron City
Sheridan 1-1 Cypher Town
Crisisbless United 0-1 Cranequin City
Southfell United 2-0 Diamondqueen
MATCHDAY 27
Martella Jazz 0-1 Greygate
Hackett 0-2 West Brinemouth
Mantlegrove 1-1 Maximum City
Sutcroft 0-0 Goodfeather FC
Leichhardt 0-1 Chatswood
Extreme Hills 4-3 North Sabrefell
Vermillion Wanderers 2-4 East Laithland Harriers
Ritter Town 1-1 South Laithland
Coret Rovers 3-1 Sheridan
Iron City 0-4 Crisisbless United
Cypher Town 0-0 Southfell United
Cranequin City 0-1 Diamondqueen
MATCHDAY 28
West Brinemouth 1-0 Martella Jazz
Maximum City 1-0 Greygate
Goodfeather FC 2-1 Hackett
Chatswood 2-1 Mantlegrove
North Sabrefell 3-0 Sutcroft
East Laithland Harriers 1-3 Leichhardt
South Laithland 0-1 Extreme Hills
Sheridan 1-0 Vermillion Wanderers
Crisisbless United 1-0 Ritter Town
Southfell United 2-1 Coret Rovers
Diamondqueen 1-0 Iron City
Cranequin City 2-1 Cypher Town
MATCHDAY 29
Martella Jazz 0-2 Maximum City
West Brinemouth 1-1 Goodfeather FC
Greygate 2-0 Chatswood
Hackett 2-2 North Sabrefell
Mantlegrove 0-2 East Laithland Harriers
Sutcroft 1-1 South Laithland
Leichhardt 1-1 Sheridan
Extreme Hills 2-1 Crisisbless United
Vermillion Wanderers 0-3 Southfell United
Ritter Town 1-0 Diamondqueen
Coret Rovers 1-1 Cranequin City
Iron City 1-1 Cypher Town
MATCHDAY 30
Goodfeather FC 2-1 Martella Jazz
Chatswood 2-0 Maximum City
North Sabrefell 1-1 West Brinemouth
East Laithland Harriers 1-0 Greygate
South Laithland 0-0 Hackett
Sheridan 1-0 Mantlegrove
Crisisbless United 9-1 Sutcroft
Southfell United 0-0 Leichhardt
Diamondqueen 2-1 Extreme Hills
Cranequin City 2-3 Vermillion Wanderers
Cypher Town 5-0 Ritter Town
Iron City 3-0 Coret Rovers
MATCHDAY 31
Martella Jazz 1-2 Chatswood
Goodfeather FC 3-0 North Sabrefell
Maximum City 1-3 East Laithland Harriers
West Brinemouth 1-1 South Laithland
Greygate 0-1 Sheridan
Hackett 0-1 Crisisbless United
Mantlegrove 2-1 Southfell United
Sutcroft 2-2 Diamondqueen
Leichhardt 2-0 Cranequin City
Extreme Hills 1-1 Cypher Town
Vermillion Wanderers 1-1 Iron City
Ritter Town 3-0 Coret Rovers
MATCHDAY 32
North Sabrefell 4-2 Martella Jazz
East Laithland Harriers 1-3 Chatswood
South Laithland 3-1 Goodfeather FC
Sheridan 1-0 Maximum City
Crisisbless United 3-0 West Brinemouth
Southfell United 3-2 Greygate
Diamondqueen 0-0 Hackett
Cranequin City 1-0 Mantlegrove
Cypher Town 2-0 Sutcroft
Iron City 0-1 Leichhardt
Coret Rovers 1-3 Extreme Hills
Ritter Town 0-1 Vermillion Wanderers
MATCHDAY 33
Martella Jazz 1-0 East Laithland Harriers
North Sabrefell 2-2 South Laithland
Chatswood 2-0 Sheridan
Goodfeather FC 1-1 Crisisbless United
Maximum City 1-0 Southfell United
West Brinemouth 0-2 Diamondqueen
Greygate 0-2 Cranequin City
Hackett 1-4 Cypher Town
Mantlegrove 1-4 Iron City
Sutcroft 3-0 Coret Rovers
Leichhardt 2-0 Ritter Town
Extreme Hills 1-1 Vermillion Wanderers
MATCHDAY 34
South Laithland 4-0 Martella Jazz
Sheridan 1-1 East Laithland Harriers
Crisisbless United 3-4 North Sabrefell
Southfell United 2-2 Chatswood
Diamondqueen 1-0 Goodfeather FC
Cranequin City 2-0 Maximum City
Cypher Town 1-0 West Brinemouth
Iron City 2-0 Greygate
Coret Rovers 1-2 Hackett
Ritter Town 0-1 Mantlegrove
Vermillion Wanderers 1-0 Sutcroft
Extreme Hills 0-1 Leichhardt

A shocking result opened this sequence of results - Diamondqueen suffered their first defeat of the season! Six to one. Against East fucking Laithland. Then Southfell, chasing close behind, beat them 2-0 through goals from Kuepper and Aspenwood and then Discovery Carrera’s flicked header saw Ritter beat them as well. But just as people asked if the Diamonds were choking, they stabilised, and retain a two-point lead over the Tanners in the two-horse race at the top. Bruno Hawke has been forced to restore Gary Corsie to the starting lineup and it’s somehow paid off, though journalists have made kind of a cruel game trying to ask him questions about the state of Nepharim football. Hard-nailed captain Claire Beresford chided the press after one match; “C’mon, giving the lad general knowledge questions is like making a bear dance - it might be fun for a bit, but it’s cruel.” The battle for fourth, five points shy of Chatswood, is tight - Extreme Hills currently cling onto it despite losing 1-0 to Leichhardt through a deflected Felix Reiter cross, North Sabrefell edge Crisisbless United 4-3 while Cypher Town (who have recently trashed Ritter 5-0) and South Laithland both picked up wins of their own. Goodfeather are tenth, but have been kept comfortably at arm’s length by the proper promotion challengers thus far.

For their part, East Laithland - pegged by most to be pinned to the foot of the table all season - are… twelfth, somehow. Providence Mitford has done a brilliant job with them and aging veterans Brace, Hull-Benson and Yamaguchi have pulled well above their weight, to say nothing of the promising Audioslavian winger Bosch. They’ve overtaken Mitford’s former club, Maximum City, in the process - the Smiths have had precious little to cheer about this season. It’s tight at the bottom, with West Brinemouth (still pathetically bad at scoring) hanging perilously close to consecutive relegations and Hackett treading water thanks to a late Maas brace against Coret Rovers to give them a vital away win, while Vermillion Wanderers have picked themselves up off the foot of the table under Boon and are unbeaten in five, with three wins. Surprisingly, Greygate have slumped their way into trouble - they’re on a run of five straight defeats. Sutcroft - recently beaten by Vermillion Wanderers and earlier crushed by a staggering 9-1 by Crisisbless United - and Martella Jazz - last spotted being put in the bin 4-0 by South Laithland - both look doomed.

MATCHDAY 24
Rushe United 2-4 Crisisbless Athletic
Dartmouth Terriers 1-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Pillars of Southfell 1-1 South Parrhesia
The Strongest 1-1 Brindleton
Rochford 1-0 Iron United
Locksley 5-0 Brookway Town
Riverkey 1-1 Crossroads Town
AFC Shale 0-1 Stonegrave
AFC Corvistone 1-0 Kensey Town
Southriver 1-0 Boleyn Town
Iberia Chenoworth 1-1 West Hook
Chenoworth Rovers 2-0 Dross Rovers
MATCHDAY 25
Crisisbless Athletic 0-0 Dartmouth Terriers
Rushe United 2-1 Pillars of Southfell
Rhagant Schadenfreude 1-1 The Strongest
South Parrhesia 1-3 Rochford
Brindleton 2-0 Locksley
Iron United 1-0 Riverkey
Brookway Town 1-1 AFC Shale
Crossroads Town 2-3 AFC Corvistone
Stonegrave 3-0 Southriver
Kensey Town 1-1 Iberia Chenoworth
Boleyn Town 2-0 Chenoworth Rovers
West Hook 2-0 Dross Rovers
MATCHDAY 26
Pillars of Southfell 2-1 Crisisbless Athletic
The Strongest 1-1 Dartmouth Terriers
Rochford 7-1 Rushe United
Locksley 2-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Riverkey 2-1 South Parrhesia
AFC Shale 1-0 Brindleton
AFC Corvistone 3-1 Iron United
Southriver 3-1 Brookway Town
Iberia Chenoworth 1-1 Crossroads Town
Chenoworth Rovers 0-1 Stonegrave
Dross Rovers 2-0 Kensey Town
West Hook 0-0 Boleyn Town
MATCHDAY 27
Crisisbless Athletic 4-0 The Strongest
Pillars of Southfell 1-0 Rochford
Dartmouth Terriers 1-2 Locksley
Rushe United 1-3 Riverkey
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-0 AFC Shale
South Parrhesia 0-8 AFC Corvistone
Brindleton 1-0 Southriver
Iron United 2-0 Iberia Chenoworth
Brookway Town 0-2 Chenoworth Rovers
Crossroads Town 2-0 Dross Rovers
Stonegrave 0-2 West Hook
Kensey Town 0-1 Boleyn Town
MATCHDAY 28
Rochford 2-1 Crisisbless Athletic
Locksley 1-4 The Strongest
Riverkey 1-1 Pillars of Southfell
AFC Shale 2-1 Dartmouth Terriers
AFC Corvistone 5-1 Rushe United
Southriver 1-1 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Iberia Chenoworth 2-0 South Parrhesia
Chenoworth Rovers 2-0 Brindleton
Dross Rovers 0-1 Iron United
West Hook 1-1 Brookway Town
Boleyn Town 1-1 Crossroads Town
Kensey Town 3-1 Stonegrave
MATCHDAY 29
Crisisbless Athletic 2-0 Locksley
Rochford 1-1 Riverkey
The Strongest 0-3 AFC Shale
Pillars of Southfell 1-2 AFC Corvistone
Dartmouth Terriers 2-1 Southriver
Rushe United 3-3 Iberia Chenoworth
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-2 Chenoworth Rovers
South Parrhesia 1-0 Dross Rovers
Brindleton 2-0 West Hook
Iron United 3-0 Boleyn Town
Brookway Town 2-0 Kensey Town
Crossroads Town 2-0 Stonegrave
MATCHDAY 30
Riverkey 3-1 Crisisbless Athletic
AFC Shale 2-0 Locksley
AFC Corvistone 1-1 Rochford
Southriver 0-2 The Strongest
Iberia Chenoworth 2-7 Pillars of Southfell
Chenoworth Rovers 2-0 Dartmouth Terriers
Dross Rovers 3-2 Rushe United
West Hook 2-0 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Boleyn Town 1-4 South Parrhesia
Kensey Town 1-6 Brindleton
Stonegrave 1-1 Iron United
Crossroads Town 3-0 Brookway Town
MATCHDAY 31
Crisisbless Athletic 1-2 AFC Shale
Riverkey 0-3 AFC Corvistone
Locksley 1-1 Southriver
Rochford 5-1 Iberia Chenoworth
The Strongest 1-1 Chenoworth Rovers
Pillars of Southfell 0-0 Dross Rovers
Dartmouth Terriers 1-2 West Hook
Rushe United 3-0 Boleyn Town
Rhagant Schadenfreude 1-0 Kensey Town
South Parrhesia 0-0 Stonegrave
Brindleton 0-1 Crossroads Town
Iron United 2-2 Brookway Town
MATCHDAY 32
AFC Corvistone 3-2 Crisisbless Athletic
Southriver 2-1 AFC Shale
Iberia Chenoworth 1-0 Riverkey
Chenoworth Rovers 2-0 Locksley
Dross Rovers 0-2 Rochford
West Hook 2-1 The Strongest
Boleyn Town 1-1 Pillars of Southfell
Kensey Town 1-1 Dartmouth Terriers
Stonegrave 0-1 Rushe United
Crossroads Town 3-0 Rhagant Schadenfreude
Brookway Town 2-2 South Parrhesia
Iron United 2-0 Brindleton
MATCHDAY 33
Crisisbless Athletic 1-1 Southriver
AFC Corvistone 2-0 Iberia Chenoworth
AFC Shale 1-0 Chenoworth Rovers
Riverkey 2-2 Dross Rovers
Locksley 1-1 West Hook
Rochford 1-1 Boleyn Town
The Strongest 2-0 Kensey Town
Pillars of Southfell 3-1 Stonegrave
Dartmouth Terriers 1-0 Crossroads Town
Rushe United 2-1 Brookway Town
Rhagant Schadenfreude 0-0 Iron United
South Parrhesia 0-2 Brindleton
MATCHDAY 34
Iberia Chenoworth 0-0 Crisisbless Athletic
Chenoworth Rovers 1-3 Southriver
Dross Rovers 0-0 AFC Corvistone
West Hook 1-1 AFC Shale
Boleyn Town 0-0 Riverkey
Kensey Town 2-0 Locksley
Stonegrave 1-0 Rochford
Crossroads Town 2-0 The Strongest
Brookway Town 1-3 Pillars of Southfell
Iron United 1-0 Dartmouth Terriers
Brindleton 0-2 Rushe United
South Parrhesia 2-0 Rhagant Schadenfreude
MATCHDAY 24
Lazuli Diamonds 1-0 Sutcroft Athletic
Downsparrow 1-3 North Dubstep
Alliance Barossia 1-0 Ringway
Gosforth Swans 6-2 Gridlock East
Mapleford 5-3 Fischer
Strephonage 0-1 Falston Town
Ox River United 0-1 Bellamy
Senway Town 2-4 Long Lake
Ballardine FC 4-0 Mainstream Fist
Peregrine 1-2 Kommissar
Falston United 2-0 Fenland Albion
The Hanged Man 1-1 Gridlock Rovers
MATCHDAY 25
Sutcroft Athletic 4-1 Downsparrow
Lazuli Diamonds 0-0 Alliance Barossia
North Dubstep 1-1 Gosforth Swans
Ringway 1-0 Mapleford
Gridlock East 2-3 Strephonage
Fischer 2-1 Ox River United
Falston Town 2-0 Senway Town
Bellamy 2-0 Ballardine FC
Long Lake 1-2 Peregrine
Mainstream Fist 2-4 Falston United
Kommissar 0-2 The Hanged Man
Fenland Albion 1-1 Gridlock Rovers
MATCHDAY 26
Alliance Barossia 1-1 Sutcroft Athletic
Gosforth Swans 1-2 Downsparrow
Mapleford 0-4 Lazuli Diamonds
Strephonage 2-1 North Dubstep
Ox River United 0-2 Ringway
Senway Town 1-1 Gridlock East
Ballardine FC 1-1 Fischer
Peregrine 3-1 Falston Town
Falston United 1-0 Bellamy
The Hanged Man 0-1 Long Lake
Gridlock Rovers 1-1 Mainstream Fist
Fenland Albion 1-0 Kommissar
MATCHDAY 27
Sutcroft Athletic 1-1 Gosforth Swans
Alliance Barossia 0-1 Mapleford
Downsparrow 0-2 Strephonage
Lazuli Diamonds 0-1 Ox River United
North Dubstep 2-0 Senway Town
Ringway 6-1 Ballardine FC
Gridlock East 1-4 Peregrine
Fischer 1-1 Falston United
Falston Town 2-1 The Hanged Man
Bellamy 0-2 Gridlock Rovers
Long Lake 1-1 Fenland Albion
Mainstream Fist 0-2 Kommissar
MATCHDAY 28
Mapleford 2-0 Sutcroft Athletic
Strephonage 3-1 Gosforth Swans
Ox River United 1-0 Alliance Barossia
Senway Town 1-2 Downsparrow
Ballardine FC 1-1 Lazuli Diamonds
Peregrine 1-5 North Dubstep
Falston United 1-0 Ringway
The Hanged Man 1-0 Gridlock East
Gridlock Rovers 3-2 Fischer
Fenland Albion 1-3 Falston Town
Kommissar 2-0 Bellamy
Mainstream Fist 0-1 Long Lake
MATCHDAY 29
Sutcroft Athletic 0-1 Strephonage
Mapleford 1-3 Ox River United
Gosforth Swans 2-1 Senway Town
Alliance Barossia 1-1 Ballardine FC
Downsparrow 1-4 Peregrine
Lazuli Diamonds 4-1 Falston United
North Dubstep 1-1 The Hanged Man
Ringway 1-1 Gridlock Rovers
Gridlock East 1-1 Fenland Albion
Fischer 0-6 Kommissar
Falston Town 3-2 Mainstream Fist
Bellamy 0-3 Long Lake
MATCHDAY 30
Ox River United 0-0 Sutcroft Athletic
Senway Town 2-5 Strephonage
Ballardine FC 1-3 Mapleford
Peregrine 1-0 Gosforth Swans
Falston United 0-1 Alliance Barossia
The Hanged Man 1-0 Downsparrow
Gridlock Rovers 2-1 Lazuli Diamonds
Fenland Albion 3-0 North Dubstep
Kommissar 2-1 Ringway
Mainstream Fist 1-2 Gridlock East
Long Lake 0-1 Fischer
Bellamy 2-1 Falston Town
MATCHDAY 31
Sutcroft Athletic 4-2 Senway Town
Ox River United 1-1 Ballardine FC
Strephonage 1-3 Peregrine
Mapleford 1-1 Falston United
Gosforth Swans 1-2 The Hanged Man
Alliance Barossia 2-0 Gridlock Rovers
Downsparrow 1-2 Fenland Albion
Lazuli Diamonds 0-1 Kommissar
North Dubstep 5-1 Mainstream Fist
Ringway 0-2 Long Lake
Gridlock East 1-2 Bellamy
Fischer 0-4 Falston Town
MATCHDAY 32
Ballardine FC 1-1 Sutcroft Athletic
Peregrine 1-0 Senway Town
Falston United 2-2 Ox River United
The Hanged Man 1-1 Strephonage
Gridlock Rovers 1-0 Mapleford
Fenland Albion 2-1 Gosforth Swans
Kommissar 3-2 Alliance Barossia
Mainstream Fist 4-2 Downsparrow
Long Lake 3-1 Lazuli Diamonds
Bellamy 0-1 North Dubstep
Falston Town 2-3 Ringway
Fischer 0-0 Gridlock East
MATCHDAY 33
Sutcroft Athletic 2-1 Peregrine
Ballardine FC 1-2 Falston United
Senway Town 0-1 The Hanged Man
Ox River United 1-0 Gridlock Rovers
Strephonage 1-0 Fenland Albion
Mapleford 0-5 Kommissar
Gosforth Swans 1-0 Mainstream Fist
Alliance Barossia 2-0 Long Lake
Downsparrow 2-2 Bellamy
Lazuli Diamonds 2-0 Falston Town
North Dubstep 0-0 Fischer
Ringway 0-2 Gridlock East
MATCHDAY 34
Falston United 1-0 Sutcroft Athletic
The Hanged Man 2-2 Peregrine
Gridlock Rovers 3-0 Ballardine FC
Fenland Albion 2-1 Senway Town
Kommissar 1-0 Ox River United
Mainstream Fist 2-2 Strephonage
Long Lake 3-0 Mapleford
Bellamy 4-3 Gosforth Swans
Falston Town 3-0 Alliance Barossia
Fischer 3-0 Downsparrow
Gridlock East 0-3 Lazuli Diamonds
Ringway 2-0 North Dubstep
MATCHDAY 24
Courser 1-0 Harrington
Gartside FC 1-6 Capricopia Rangers
Stonesthrow Town 1-1 Fully Sick XI
Nay Town 1-1 Grovebank
Gridlock 2-1 Sleetwell Rangers
Forge Carpenters 0-1 Gonen's Bridge
Sirencall FC 1-0 Tryst Athletic
Corinthians No Longer 1-0 Norton Road
Boltcroft Thorns 3-2 Ramsay
Swag Hill Rovers 0-2 FC Seierstad
MATCHDAY 31
Harrington 1-1 Corinthians No Longer
Sirencall FC 1-2 Boltcroft Thorns
Forge Carpenters 0-1 Swag Hill Rovers
Gridlock 3-0 FC Seierstad
Nay Town 1-0 Ramsay
Stonesthrow Town 0-1 Norton Road
Gartside FC 2-1 Tryst Athletic
Courser 2-0 Gonen's Bridge
Capricopia Rangers 3-3 Sleetwell Rangers
Fully Sick XI 0-1 Grovebank
MATCHDAY 32
Boltcroft Thorns 4-1 Harrington
Swag Hill Rovers 0-1 Corinthians No Longer
FC Seierstad 1-1 Sirencall FC
Ramsay 1-1 Forge Carpenters
Norton Road 1-1 Gridlock
Tryst Athletic 1-2 Nay Town
Gonen's Bridge 3-0 Stonesthrow Town
Sleetwell Rangers 2-1 Gartside FC
Grovebank 2-0 Courser
Fully Sick XI 2-1 Capricopia Rangers
MATCHDAY 33
Harrington 3-3 Swag Hill Rovers
Boltcroft Thorns 2-3 FC Seierstad
Corinthians No Longer 1-3 Ramsay
Sirencall FC 2-2 Norton Road
Forge Carpenters 0-2 Tryst Athletic
Gridlock 0-1 Gonen's Bridge
Nay Town 2-4 Sleetwell Rangers
Stonesthrow Town 0-0 Grovebank
Gartside FC 1-2 Fully Sick XI
Courser 1-0 Capricopia Rangers
MATCHDAY 34
FC Seierstad 3-0 Harrington
Ramsay 2-2 Swag Hill Rovers
Norton Road 0-2 Boltcroft Thorns
Tryst Athletic 1-1 Corinthians No Longer
Gonen's Bridge 3-0 Sirencall FC
Sleetwell Rangers 2-0 Forge Carpenters
Grovebank 2-0 Gridlock
Fully Sick XI 2-1 Nay Town
Capricopia Rangers 1-0 Stonesthrow Town
Courser 1-0 Gartside FC
MATCHDAY 24
Dubstep Rangers 1-0 Sandrock
Blaze 4-2 Bodkin Road
Celebryant FC 1-1 Rochford Pilgrims
Masculine Town 1-0 Corby Hubris
Stamper Road 3-2 Lackerrun
South Brill 3-0 West End
Coral Bay 0-3 Rookwall
Brunyard FC 3-2 Violence Tigers
Hartford Glade 1-1 The Travellers FC
Markoni 1-2 Twelvetrees
MATCHDAY 31
Sandrock 1-0 Brunyard FC
Coral Bay 1-4 Hartford Glade
South Brill 2-1 Markoni
Stamper Road 4-0 Twelvetrees
Masculine Town 1-1 The Travellers FC
Celebryant FC 3-2 Violence Tigers
Blaze 0-3 Rookwall
Dubstep Rangers 1-1 West End
Bodkin Road 1-0 Lackerrun
Rochford Pilgrims 7-1 Corby Hubris
MATCHDAY 32
Hartford Glade 1-1 Sandrock
Markoni 0-2 Brunyard FC
Twelvetrees 2-1 Coral Bay
The Travellers FC 0-1 South Brill
Violence Tigers 1-1 Stamper Road
Rookwall 1-1 Masculine Town
West End 1-4 Celebryant FC
Lackerrun 1-4 Blaze
Corby Hubris 3-0 Dubstep Rangers
Rochford Pilgrims 0-0 Bodkin Road
MATCHDAY 33
Sandrock 1-2 Markoni
Hartford Glade 1-1 Twelvetrees
Brunyard FC 3-2 The Travellers FC
Coral Bay 0-0 Violence Tigers
South Brill 1-0 Rookwall
Stamper Road 4-1 West End
Masculine Town 1-1 Lackerrun
Celebryant FC 1-2 Corby Hubris
Blaze 0-0 Rochford Pilgrims
Dubstep Rangers 0-0 Bodkin Road
MATCHDAY 34
Twelvetrees 0-1 Sandrock
The Travellers FC 3-0 Markoni
Violence Tigers 2-1 Hartford Glade
Rookwall 0-1 Brunyard FC
West End 2-2 Coral Bay
Lackerrun 2-4 South Brill
Corby Hubris 3-3 Stamper Road
Rochford Pilgrims 6-1 Masculine Town
Bodkin Road 4-1 Celebryant FC
Dubstep Rangers 2-1 Blaze

PREMIERSHIP
Pos Team                      P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Sabrefell Athletic 34 24 4 6 73 41 +32 76
2 Crisisbless 34 21 7 6 58 31 +27 70
3 Sabrefell Moths 34 19 8 7 70 39 +31 65
4 Brinemouth 34 17 6 11 60 38 +22 57

5 Creed United 34 17 6 11 48 35 +13 57
6 AFC Treason 34 16 8 10 57 44 +13 56
7 Chenoworth Harriers 34 15 9 10 51 45 +6 54

8 Bishop 34 15 9 10 44 38 +6 54
9 Starling 34 14 11 9 56 39 +17 53
10 Vermillion Rage 34 15 6 13 47 36 +11 51
11 Coret Hawks 34 14 5 15 51 50 +1 47
12 AFC Serpentine 34 13 8 13 46 49 -3 47
13 Parrhesia United 34 12 8 14 41 47 -6 44
14 Violence Chariots 34 11 10 13 62 62 +0 43
15 Newrook City 34 12 6 16 37 49 -12 42
16 Brookford Otters 34 11 8 15 48 51 -3 41
17 Raven River 34 11 7 16 37 53 -16 40
18 Cranequin Wanderers 34 12 3 19 49 66 -17 39
19 Corvette Maulers 34 10 8 16 50 74 -24 38
20 Morningstar 34 10 7 17 40 53 -13 37
21 North Laithland 34 10 6 18 37 53 -16 36
22 Maximum Rovers 34 9 8 17 41 58 -17 35
23 Belgrave 34 9 5 20 28 56 -28 32
24 Armstrong 34 6 7 21 35 59 -24 25

FIRST DIVISION
Pos Team                          P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Diamondqueen 34 22 9 3 57 23 +34 75
2 Southfell United 34 22 7 5 72 28 +44 73
3 Chatswood 34 19 7 8 45 29 +16 64

4 Extreme Hills 34 16 11 7 60 37 +23 59
5 North Sabrefell 34 17 7 10 60 47 +13 58
6 South Laithland 34 15 12 7 55 31 +24 57
7 Crisisbless United 34 18 3 13 65 44 +21 57
8 Cypher Town 34 15 11 8 48 29 +19 56
9 Leichhardt 34 15 10 9 37 24 +13 55
10 Goodfeather FC 34 13 10 11 47 39 +8 49
11 Iron City 34 14 6 14 27 32 -5 48
12 East Laithland Harriers 34 12 7 15 46 58 -12 43
13 Cranequin City 34 10 11 13 32 40 -8 41
14 Sheridan 34 10 11 13 25 35 -10 41
15 Maximum City 34 10 10 14 31 38 -7 40
16 Ritter Town 34 11 6 17 34 44 -10 39
17 Coret Rovers 34 12 3 19 39 63 -24 39
18 Mantlegrove 34 9 11 14 38 43 -5 38
19 West Brinemouth 34 10 8 16 23 35 -12 38
20 Hackett 34 9 9 16 37 51 -14 36
21 Vermillion Wanderers 34 9 7 18 31 54 -23 34
22 Greygate 34 10 2 22 26 46 -20 32
23 Sutcroft 34 6 10 18 28 60 -32 28
24 Martella Jazz 34 6 8 20 33 66 -33 26

SECOND DIVISION
Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 AFC Shale 34 20 9 5 41 17 +24 69
2 Crossroads Town 34 17 12 5 54 31 +23 63
3 Riverkey 34 17 8 9 54 39 +15 59
4 Rochford 34 16 10 8 58 32 +26 58

5 AFC Corvistone 34 15 13 6 53 31 +22 58
6 Iron United 34 17 5 12 44 29 +15 56
7 Chenoworth Rovers 34 15 11 8 33 18 +15 56
8 Pillars of Southfell 34 14 13 7 47 31 +16 55
9 Locksley 34 15 8 11 46 45 +1 53
10 The Strongest 34 15 6 13 55 52 +3 51
11 South Parrhesia 34 14 7 13 52 52 +0 49
12 Stonegrave 34 14 7 13 34 34 +0 49
13 Brindleton 34 12 8 14 41 38 +3 44
14 Rhagant Schadenfreude 34 11 11 12 23 31 -8 44
15 West Hook 34 11 8 15 34 33 +1 41
16 Crisisbless Athletic 34 9 14 11 51 52 -1 41
17 Kensey Town 34 10 10 14 44 47 -3 40
18 Boleyn Town 34 9 13 12 26 37 -11 40
19 Southriver 34 9 12 13 39 47 -8 39
20 Dartmouth Terriers 34 8 11 15 33 39 -6 35
21 Dross Rovers 34 8 7 19 30 52 -22 31
22 Brookway Town 34 7 10 17 44 72 -28 31
23 Rushe United 34 7 6 21 45 80 -35 27
24 Iberia Chenoworth 34 5 7 22 38 80 -42 22

THIRD DIVISION
Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Strephonage 34 22 6 6 52 26 +26 72
2 The Hanged Man 34 21 8 5 40 17 +23 71
3 Kommissar 34 20 6 8 58 31 +27 66
4 Peregrine 34 20 5 9 78 44 +34 65

5 Gridlock Rovers 34 16 9 9 46 33 +13 57
6 Falston Town 34 17 5 12 57 38 +19 56
7 North Dubstep 34 16 8 10 52 38 +14 56
8 Long Lake 34 15 9 10 49 32 +17 54
9 Falston United 34 13 13 8 42 35 +7 52
10 Lazuli Diamonds 34 13 10 11 47 40 +7 49
11 Fenland Albion 34 13 10 11 35 32 +3 49
12 Gosforth Swans 34 14 6 14 47 44 +3 48
13 Ox River United 34 13 9 12 42 41 +1 48
14 Sutcroft Athletic 34 13 8 13 43 41 +2 47
15 Ringway 34 10 15 9 41 36 +5 45
16 Mapleford 34 12 9 13 37 54 -17 45
17 Fischer 34 9 12 13 35 55 -20 39
18 Alliance Barossia 34 8 9 17 27 39 -12 33
19 Gridlock East 34 8 9 17 34 50 -16 33
20 Ballardine FC 34 7 11 16 38 55 -17 32
21 Bellamy 34 7 11 16 29 48 -19 32
22 Downsparrow 34 8 6 20 46 72 -26 30
23 Mainstream Fist 34 5 8 21 37 75 -38 23
24 Senway Town 34 3 8 23 32 68 -36 17

CONFERENCE WEST
Pos Team                        P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Gonen's Bridge 34 22 6 6 51 19 +32 72
2 Boltcroft Thorns 34 18 9 7 54 35 +19 63

3 FC Seierstad 34 18 7 9 63 37 +26 61
4 Corinthians No Longer 34 18 7 9 55 40 +15 61
5 Grovebank 34 17 7 10 44 31 +13 58
6 Fully Sick XI 34 15 11 8 48 32 +16 56
7 Sleetwell Rangers 34 16 8 10 52 45 +7 56
8 Harrington 34 13 11 10 46 34 +12 50
9 Sirencall FC 34 13 11 10 51 46 +5 50
10 Gridlock 34 12 12 10 31 33 -2 48
11 Swag Hill Rovers 34 11 7 16 46 62 -16 40
12 Courser 34 9 12 13 38 44 -6 39
13 Norton Road 34 10 9 15 34 40 -6 39
14 Capricopia Rangers 34 9 12 13 47 56 -9 39
15 Nay Town 34 11 5 18 36 49 -13 38
16 Tryst Athletic 34 11 5 18 36 57 -21 38
17 Forge Carpenters 34 9 8 17 18 36 -18 35
18 Stonesthrow Town 34 7 13 14 25 36 -11 34
19 Ramsay 34 7 10 17 36 43 -7 31
20 Gartside FC 34 5 8 21 26 62 -36 23

CONFERENCE EAST
Pos Team                    P   W   D   L For  Ag  +/- Pts
1 Bodkin Road 34 21 8 5 62 28 +34 71
2 Rochford Pilgrims 34 20 7 7 66 28 +38 67

3 Dubstep Rangers 34 19 9 6 44 33 +11 66
4 Stamper Road 34 17 11 6 61 36 +25 62
5 South Brill 34 17 7 10 49 33 +16 58
6 Hartford Glade 34 15 10 9 69 42 +27 55
7 Blaze 34 15 8 11 48 42 +6 53
8 Brunyard FC 34 14 10 10 63 49 +14 52
9 Rookwall 34 13 10 11 41 35 +6 49
10 Lackerrun 34 14 6 14 53 57 -4 48
11 Violence Tigers 34 13 5 16 49 48 +1 44
12 Masculine Town 34 11 10 13 42 51 -9 43
13 Twelvetrees 34 11 9 14 32 40 -8 42
14 Celebryant FC 34 11 8 15 39 57 -18 41
15 The Travellers FC 34 10 8 16 49 59 -10 38
16 Corby Hubris 34 10 8 16 47 59 -12 38
17 Sandrock 34 8 9 17 24 39 -15 33
18 Coral Bay 34 6 10 18 30 58 -28 28
19 Markoni 34 5 9 20 34 73 -39 24
20 West End 34 4 10 20 28 63 -35 22
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Nephara
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Postby Nephara » Tue Jun 13, 2017 2:47 pm

Cranequin Wanderers 2-0 Newrook City
Starling 2-3 Creed United
North Laithland 7-0 Lazuli Diamonds
AFC Treason 0-2 Armstrong

Cranequin beating Newrook 2-0 is nice and all - Rowena Strongbow is excellent - but it’s overshadowed by other results. Starling’s season takes a turn from bad to worse - they go all out trying to maul Creed and succeed early on, Hawke flicking a header home and strike partner Andisori hitting a post not long after. But then Pandora Dukakis’ cross is met powerfully by Maaksemstad and Creed are level on the stroke of half-time, well against the run of play. Loredan heads home a Braham corner before Braham just scores herself and the Passerines are left stunned in their wake, but at least pull one back late through Liam Armstrong. Lazuli of the fourth tier are sadly well outgunned by the Spiders, and it is more credit than the Spiders deserve to talk or care about their 7-0 win. Armstrong have nothing to lose and set out in an aggressive 4-2-3-1 formation against Treason’s second string… and win. Hearn, 34 and excelling in attacking midfield, smashes a shot through the inexperienced Rustwyth and Nikolajsen curls one beyond him, with Costabile finally living up to his billing and kicking some people around. In the end, a scarcely credible 2-0 away win emerges.

FC Atlantis 1-3 AFC Treason

The Stags can’t waste time feeling sorry about themselves, though, and get back to work with a convincing 3-1 away win over Atlantis. Misidjan is rotated in again and impresses again, while Cantor, Fraser and Vesper - all absent for the defeat to Armstrong - all get on the scoresheet. Treason are one step closer to reaching the final in Nephara’s first involvement.

Crisisbless 9-1 Newrook City
Parrhesia United 0-2 Creed United
Bishop 1-1 Brookford Otters
Chenoworth Harriers 1-5 Starling
Corvette Maulers 3-3 Coret Hawks
AFC Serpentine 2-2 Violence Chariots
Cranequin Wanderers 1-2 Vermillion Rage
Raven River 2-2 AFC Treason
Armstrong 0-3 Sabrefell Moths
Morningstar 1-0 Sabrefell Athletic
Belgrave 1-1 North Laithland
Brinemouth 3-0 Maximum Rovers

Crisisbless have only to beat Newrook at home to close the gap to three points at the top after Morningstar pick up a handy 1-0 win over Sabrefell Athletic, and win they do… NINE-ONE. It’s pointless to count the individual goals or indeed individual errors from Newrook, who aren’t helped by Rivello getting himself sent off on the stroke of half-time but come on, it was already 4-1 by then. Jevdjevic-Hadsic and Cautcher both get hat-tricks but it’s the Farf who gets the match-ball in the end, joking to the press afterwards that “Claudia’s got enough of them cluttering her house.” The Harriers have largely passed under the radar this season despite a number of quietly exceptional performances in a quietly exceptional season, but they have to be flagged up now for being pumped 5-1 by Starling on home turf, with Keira Andisori getting her own hat-trick - combine this with the two from Crisisbless and Dani Harper’s against the Hawks and it’s the most hat-tricks in any Premiership matchday in history. Armstrong decide they like this 4-2-3-1 so much that they try to take the game to the Moths the same way, but Gerhard Thunder’s players aren’t having it, and beat the Knights down 3-0 away.

Newrook City 1-0 Cranequin Wanderers
Cranequin Wanderers win 2-1 on aggregate.

Creed United 4-1 Starling
Creed United win 7-3 on aggregate.

Lazuli Diamonds 2-3 North Laithland
North Laithland win 10-2 on aggregate.

Armstrong 1-0 AFC Treason
Armstrong win 3-0 on aggregate.

It’s a drab match between Newrook and Cranequin, both sides putting out their full-strength sides but neither seeming entirely motivated. Rook Fenwick lashes a characteristically powerful strike beyond Castelen but that’s… it, really, for the game’s excitement. The Wanderers progress. Creed pulverise Starling and Karena Braham’s dominance of young Misha Symond (standing in at rightback) is summarised by two goals and two assists, with Ulysses Mithradates dominant in front of goal. Buoyed by a 7-0 success at home, North Laithland send out more or less a youth team against their fourth-tier opponents, and even so rely on Damian Keogh’s late brace to win the day. It’s a sad end for the Diamonds, but their supporters will be elated that they’ve gotten this far, and the financial rewards are nothing to sniff at. Armstrong batten down the hatches, but three goals are entirely doable for the Stags. In theory. In practice, Cup goalkeeper Helene Corridan continues her exceptional form across both legs and Costabile rams home a corner, and inexplicably the Knights have a 3-0 win on aggregate.

AFC Treason 2-0 FC Atlantis
AFC Treason win 5-1 on aggregate.

Signed and sealed, even with a few significant changes in a congested period for the Stags. 18-year old Amber Trahearne gets her first goal for the Stags and it’s followed up by a powerful Portsgate header, and the side never looks much like conceding. And, with that, they’ve secured themselves a final… against Euran powerhouses Ulsa.

Creed United 0-2 Crisisbless
Brookford Otters 2-2 Newrook City
Starling 2-1 Parrhesia United
Coret Hawks 3-0 Bishop
Violence Chariots 5-2 Chenoworth Harriers
Vermillion Rage 2-0 Corvette Maulers
AFC Treason 4-3 AFC Serpentine
Sabrefell Moths 3-0 Cranequin Wanderers
Sabrefell Athletic 2-3 Raven River
North Laithland 2-1 Armstrong
Maximum Rovers 0-0 Morningstar
Brinemouth 4-1 Belgrave

Not a single player from the 18 Newrook footballers that made it down to Crisisbless survives the cut for Newrook’s next match - not even goalscorer and captain Fenwick. This leads to a starting debut for Magda Kattner between the posts and a number of others, and to their credit, Ifrit Coynborough and Maladict Farrell each score in an impressive 2-2 draw against the Otters, away. “I was half-tempted to put myself out there today,” Keenan (a formidable holding midfielder in her day) had said breezily post-match, “but fortunately the lads got the job done.” Athletic lose again, though it’s a hell of a match - they trade blows with River until finally just running out of time before they can find an answer to Maxine Lynwood’s flicked header, falling 3-2 in the end. And that means that, thanks largely to pulverising Newrook by such a margin, Crisisbless have officially taken the lead in the table with a convincing and professional 2-0 win over a tough but out-of-form Creed. The Moths have been utterly dominant of late with yet another 3-0 win making one wonder… well, they are only five points off top. This time, the Wanderers are the victims, with former Moth Juergen Evans barely touching the ball. “The title challenge is well and truly on,” barks Gerhard Thunder after the match. The Harriers concede five for the second match in a row, simply overpowered by a dominant Violence side. Siorrha’Asione is, by now, a distant and once-pleasant memory for the Chariots, and must surely be looking for a way out by now - Brigitte Coppinger has proved inspirational in his stead, and scores twice here.

Tanrisal 1-2 Sabrefell Moths

Adam Pinto drives home a powerful header within seven dominant minutes for the hosts and things look bad for the Moths. But they brace, hold out for ten more minutes of Pasargan onslaught and then Kirsten Cliving, with a rare start enforced by injury, curls in a direct free kick from just outside the box. The Moths are dominant from then on, and Meier carves through Cosumar youth international Bale before smashing home a deserved winner just after half-time.

Crisisbless 7-1 Brookford Otters
Creed United 0-2 Starling
Newrook City 3-1 Coret Hawks
Parrhesia United 1-1 Violence Chariots
Bishop 1-2 Vermillion Rage
Chenoworth Harriers 3-2 AFC Treason
Corvette Maulers 2-2 Sabrefell Moths
AFC Serpentine 0-2 Sabrefell Athletic
Cranequin Wanderers 1-2 North Laithland
Raven River 1-1 Maximum Rovers
Armstrong 2-0 Brinemouth
Morningstar 2-0 Belgrave

For all Keenan’s bravado, the Rooks can’t really afford another stunt like that, so she restores most of her strongest XI and is rewarded with a 3-1 win. Maladict Farrell keeps ahold of her place and manages a brace, with Raquel Woods notching up the clincher against a poor Coret. Crisisbless pad their goal difference advantage with a staggering 7-1 crunching of Brookford Otters, who are having a terrible season and it sadly looks like Matilda Heisenberg faces the axe by season’s end, though there’s no real point to sacking her now. Athletic keep pace with a professional 2-0 away win over Serpentine, Gareth Corvine scoring his second goal of the season against the side he spent last season on a productive loan spell with. The Harriers recover from their recent slump, though it really doesn’t seem like it when Igrene Cantor mashes home an early strike - Sheffield makes a couple of good saves, Chenoworth absorbs pressure and grows into the game and suddenly Feist, Ruhl and Mirzayev have goals to their names and the Stags are in full retreat! Full? No, not quite - Cantor’s second goal late on is enough to make the last ten minutes Interesting, but they’re unable to build on it, thanks in large part to Sheffield. Armstrong finally win a game! They’ve improved in the new 4-2-3-1 blueprint but a 2-0 win over Brinemouth is far better than expected. Damian Harbour breaks a long-standing goal drought that might dent his aspirations of a Premiership contract, and his relief is palpable - Colette Proudfoot falls under former Armstrong loanee Tessa Bayliss’ challenge and Jess Hearn’s impeccable penalty gives them their second. Helene Corridan, preferred between the posts, makes a number of impressive saves to keep them in the game.

Sabrefell Moths 2-1 Tanrisal
Sabrefell Moths win 4-2 on aggregate.

Tanrisal are a strong side, but they have a glaring weakness - a reliance on Brenecians, and every Nepharim knows that Brenecians can’t hack it when push comes to shove. Admittedly, Caolan Coveny hits the outside of a post within a minute, but in contrast to the dicey away leg the Moths dominate here, chalking up goals from Serra and Jon Haines before Balliol neatly sets up Hofstede for a late Tani consolation.

Starling 3-2 Crisisbless
Coret Hawks 2-3 Brookford Otters
Violence Chariots 1-0 Creed United
Vermillion Rage 3-1 Newrook City
AFC Treason 2-3 Parrhesia United
Sabrefell Moths 1-0 Bishop
Sabrefell Athletic 1-1 Chenoworth Harriers
North Laithland 1-0 Corvette Maulers
Maximum Rovers 2-3 AFC Serpentine
Brinemouth 2-1 Cranequin Wanderers
Belgrave 0-2 Raven River
Morningstar 0-0 Armstrong

Armstrong follow up with another clean sheet, but in truth Morningstar bossed the match and they were once again indebted to Corridan on the young goalkeeper’s 23rd birthday. Supposedly she’s now being looked at by Sabrefell Athletic and Creed. Armstrong can’t catch a break. Vedran Tarashaj picks up his first red card of the season for Treason for smashing through Olaf Womack, who’d been taunting and sniping at him all game, and it ultimately costs his side dearly - the Saints overturn a 2-1 deficit thanks to Atherton Telfair’s brace off the bench. He’s another likely to go in the offseason, frustrated by the lack of first-team opportunities. Athletic are pegged back in a dead-even tie against the UICA-chasing Harriers, Andros Diasakos the clear man of the match as his long diagonal ball sets up Steven Rexmont for a barn-storming run and a Hollywood finish into the top corner from a narrow angle. Bereveskos equalises but the damage is done. Crisisbless, however, can’t capitalise - they’re pegged back by the Passerines who are mounting a late charge for the Globe Cup places, with Liam Armstrong excelling. It’s been a long season for Starling, but this is a young side, and there’s the shoots of something exciting - it doesn’t hurt that 19-year old Cesar Corvalan comes off the bench to score the winner. The Moths, now unbeaten in ten and with seven wins from their last eight following a cruisy 1-0 win over Bishop, steal a march on both front-runners. Might Crisisbless be allowing a third horse into the two-horse title race?